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ynjeonghoney · 1 month

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beach, guess what? — kim mingyu (M) (filo au)

surfer sa umaga, diver sa gabi

✦ pairing: kim mingyu x oc reader ✦ genre: smut, filo setting ✦ word count: 15.4k ✦ warnings: contains profanity, oral sex (f and m receiving), unprotected sex

Reminders:

✦ minors dni! ✦ separate fiction from reality ✦ this au is purely fictitious and does not reflect the true personalities of kpop idols

The serenity of Siargao had worked its magic on your soul, offering a much-needed detox from the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Though you were sad to bid farewell, you knew that the island's ethereal beauty would stay with you, a cherished memory to revisit whenever the chaos of life became overwhelming.

This was your first solo trip, and you'd really miss it.

"O baka si Mingyu ang mamimiss mo?" Your best friend, Bella, teased on the other end of the call, her voice warm yet playful. And so, you launched into a vivid description of Mingyu - his sun-kissed skin, effortless charm, and the way his smile seemed to light up the entire beach. He truly embodied the definition of tall, dark, and handsome.

"Actually, katatapos lang ng surfing lesson ko sa kanya kanina," you announced to Bella with a hint of excitement. The thought of spending time with Mingyu made your heart race. You were willing to splurge just to catch another glimpse of his captivating smile.

"Surfing lesson lang ba, Ali?" Bella replied, her voice laced with laughter.

You playfully rolled your eyes at Bella, bringing a smile to your face. Indeed, it had been almost a year since you bravely walked away from a toxic relationship, and you were proud of how far you'd come. But there was something undeniably special about having a crush on someone. It felt like a sensation that filled you with happiness, as if you were the main character in a Korean drama.

That's exactly how you felt whenever you caught sight of Mingyu. There was a certain magic in his presence that stirred emotions you hadn't felt in a long time. With each passing moment spent with him, it felt as though the wounds from your past were slowly healing.

"Sige na, I'll call you later. Enjoy ka lang diyan!"

As the sun began to sink below the horizon, painting the sky with hues of orange and pink, you found yourself gazing at the breathtaking scene unfolding before you. It was a mesmerizing sight from the balcony of the house where you were staying. Sitting on the edge of your bed, you carefully folded each item of clothing, memories of your adventures in Siargao flooding your mind with nostalgia.

Your heart skipped a beat as you glanced at your phone. The idea seemed like the perfect way to cap off your trip. Without hesitation, you eagerly accepted the invitation. It was an opportunity you couldn't pass up.

But as your mind was filled with excitement, a nagging question lingered: would it simply be a casual drink, or did Mingyu have something else in mind?

You carefully sifted through your packed clothes, searching for the perfect outfit for the evening. Your fingers grazed over various options until they landed on the backless dress tucked away in your suitcase. With a mischievous grin, you decided it was just the right amount of sexy for the occasion.

After nearly an hour, a notification appeared on your phone, and to your delight, it was from Mingyu. He informed you that he was already in front of the house you were staying at. You glanced out the window and spotted him standing beside a sleek, top-of-the-line Ford Raptor.

As you went outside, Mingyu greeted you with a warm smile that sent a rush of emotions through you, and you couldn't help but admire how effortlessly hot he looked leaning casually against the vehicle.

"You look so damn fine, baby girl," Mingyu remarked, his voice filled with admiration as he appreciated your beauty. The compliment sent a shiver down your spine, his words igniting a spark of confidence within you. With a coy smile, you thanked him, feeling a flush of warmth spread across your cheeks.

"Baby girl ka diyan!" You playfully hit his arm.

He opened the car door for you, and as you stepped inside, you were greeted by the delightful scent of the air freshener hanging from the rearview mirror. Its aroma was a pleasant surprise, a fragrance that screamed Kim Mingyu.

It turned out that the bar was an hour away, but you hardly noticed the time passing as you and Mingyu engaged in lively conversation throughout the car ride.

Upon arrival at the bar, you found it bustling with people, predominantly tourists like yourselves. The lively atmosphere was infectious, with laughter and chatter filling the air.

You and Mingyu quickly took a seat at the high chairs near the bartender, who turned out to be Mingyu's friend. "Wons, two margaritas."

"This is Allison." Mingyu added, introducing you to his friend, Wonwoo.

"Girlfriend mo?" Wonwoo whispered with a playful grin, glancing between the two of you. "Alam mo bang ilang beses nireject ng mga babae itong si Gyu?" He added, sharing tales of Mingyu's romantic mishaps.

"Naka-jackpot ka, Allison. Solid magmahal si Gyu." Wonwoo's teasing elicited a playful swat from Mingyu, who couldn't help but laugh along with you.

All this time, you had been under the impression that this strikingly handsome man, with his charm and confidence, must have had a string of past relationships. However, to your astonishment, you discovered that this was far from the truth. In a candid moment, Mingyu shared a sentiment, "Never pa akong nagkaroon ng girlfriend, if that's what you want to hear," he confessed to you with sincerity.

As time passed, you found yourself getting to know Mingyu better through his fascinating stories. With every conversation came another round of drinks, and as the alcohol flowed, so did the warmth and intimacy between you. The tipsiness that crept over you had caused you to share your own stories in return. Despite the haze of alcohol that clouded your mind, you remained aware of your surroundings.

Mingyu noticed your condition and decided not to encourage further drinking. He understood that you still had to go home and wanted to ensure your safety. Mingyu gently intervened, suggesting that it might be time for you to call it a night. Grateful for his consideration, you nodded in agreement, realizing that it was indeed time to head home.

As you approached the car, Mingyu once again opened the door for you. Gratefully, you turned to face him, ready to express your gratitude for the unforgettable evening. "Thank you for tonight, Min—" Before you could finish your sentence, you were taken by surprise as Mingyu's lips crashed into yours, holding your waist and silencing your words in the most unexpected manner. You melted into the kiss, feeling things you hadn't felt in a long time.

With a bold move, you parted your lips, inviting Mingyu's tongue to explore the depths of your mouth. As your tongues danced in a passionate battle for dominance, your hands roamed freely over Mingyu's chest, tracing the contours of his muscles with eager anticipation. He slid into the passenger seat, his gaze fixed on yours. Without hesitation, he gently guided you onto his lap, and you straddled him while your bodies pressed intimately together.

As Mingyu gently broke the kiss, his breath came out heavy and labored, his chest rising and falling in sync with the rhythm of his breathing. His eyes held a magnetic intensity, as if he was delving into the depths of your soul and claiming every part of you as his own. "You don't know how much you made me hard, Allison."

Who would have known that his lips and gaze were more intoxicating than the alcohol you had consumed earlier?

His hand swiftly traveled beneath your skirt and underwear, igniting a wave of sensation that left you breathless. Simultaneously, his lips trailed a slow, deliberate path down your neck, planting gentle kisses as they made their way towards your chest. Each kiss sent shivers of pleasure through you, intensifying the sensation of his hand exploring beneath your clothing.

"You're already soaking wet, baby." His smirk revealed a mixture of satisfaction and anticipation, knowing that you were already drenched and ready for him. A soft moan escaped your lips as you felt Mingyu's fingers rubbing your womanhood. You couldn't ignore his aroused cock pressing against you as you locked your lips together. Slowly, you began to grind against him, feeling him groan against your lips with each movement.

Mingyu's hands ventured in a different direction and found their way to your breasts. He squeezed them gently, eliciting a gasp. With skillful fingers, he proceeded to untie your dress while you discarded his shirt.

He eagerly sucked one of your breasts, and you couldn't help but moan softly, feeling the pleasure intensify with each suck. Your fingers instinctively found their way into his hair, gripping it gently while your breath hitched with every sensation. Lost in the intoxicating rhythm of your bodies, the two of you surrendered completely to the ecstasy of the moment.

"Uhhh, fuck." You whimpered as his fingers rubbed your clit. The sensation was overwhelming, driving you to the brink of euphoria. Your eyelids fluttered shut as you arched your back, pressing yourself closer to him, desperate for more of his touch.

He quickly unzipped his pants, and your senses heightened at the sight of his engorged cock. It stood proudly, throbbing with desire, and you couldn't help but salivate at the thought of him inside you. The hunger in his eyes mirrored your own, his arousal evident.

"Paglaruan mo ako," you quickly obeyed, and with swift movement, he adjusted the passenger seat, creating enough space for you to kneel down. The anticipation hung thick in the air as you positioned yourself in front of his aroused cock. You leaned forward, licking the glistening precum and welcomed his cock into your mouth. Mingyu's eyes closed as you drove him insane.

"Shit! Sige pa, ang sarap uhhh-" Mingyu's arousal was palpable, his manhood throbbing with need as you worshipped him with your mouth. His body tensed with each movement, his breath coming in ragged gasps. The next thing he did was grip the back of your head and pressed you further onto his cock, causing you to gag.

"Putangina!"

After your mouth, comes your hand. You grip his shaft, pumping it up and down as you kiss him passionately. Your lips collide in lust, tongues dancing in a heated embrace as you stroke him with increasing urgency. With each stroke, Mingyu's moans grow louder, and his breath quickens. He can feel the tension mounting within him, a coiling spring of desire ready to explode. Every movement brings him closer to the edge, his body thrumming with anticipation as he chases the peak of pleasure.

"My turn." As Mingyu utters those words, you feel your core starved of him. You find yourself seated in the passenger seat as he takes the lead, his eyes filled with desire as he looks at you. With a bold and assertive move, he spreads your legs apart, parting them to get a tantalizing view of your exposed womanhood. He admires the glistening wetness between your parted thighs while his hot breath fans against your skin.

Mingyu wastes no time fulfilling his desire. He gently parts your folds, exposing your slick entrance before sliding two fingers. You gasp at the sudden intrusion, your body clenching around his fingers as he begins to move them.

As his fingers pump in and out of you, Mingyu's thumb finds its way to your swollen clit, rubbing it in firm, circular motions. The combination of his fingers thrusting deep inside you and the stimulation of your sensitive bud sends waves of pleasure through your body.

Mingyu licks his fingers, eager to taste every last drop of you. "You taste so fucking good."

Following his fingers, his tongue dances over the sensitive bud. The sensation is electrifying, each flick and swirl of his tongue driving you closer to the edge of euphoria. "Mmm, fuck ang sarap." Your body convulses, building the tension to an almost unbearable level. Mingyu withdraws his tongue from your clit, a satisfied smirk displaying on his lips.

The ache between your thighs grows more pronounced, aching to be touched and explored by him. He positions you on top of his cock, teasing his hardness against your opening. You can't help but gasp as you feel the tantalizing pressure of his member.

You release a deep moan as you feel Mingyu's cock penetrate your womanhood, filling you completely. You grasp onto his biceps, overwhelmed by his size inside you. The sensation of being stretched and filled sends shockwaves of pleasure, your walls adjusting to accommodate his girth.

You begin to ride Mingyu slowly, savoring every sensation as he fucks you. His hands find their way to your hips, guiding your movements with a firm yet gentle touch.

"You take my cock so fucking well, baby." Mingyu's gaze is fixed on your breasts, admiring the way they bounce with each thrust. His eyes drink in the sight of your body, his desire evident in the way he watches you with hunger and appreciation.

"Gusto mo talaga yung putang-puta ka?" He whispers against your skin as he trails kisses down to your breasts.

"Fuck me mercilessly, Mingyu!"

He aggressively quickens his thrusts, a surge of pleasure catapulting you into a realm of ecstasy beyond comprehension. You become a moaning mess in front of him, breathy cries of lust filling the air. Every movement, every sensation, sends you spiraling further into bliss.

"Have you fucked other girls besides me?"

"Nireject nga nila ako e. You're the only one I've ever been with like this, Allison."

Putangina, naka-jackpot nga ako.

You clench around Mingyu's hard cock, and a rush of indescribable sensations dawns on you. The feeling of fullness, combined with the friction of your bodies moving together.

"Mmm, right there!" His cock targets your sensitive spot.

"How can someone be this beautiful while being fucked?" Mingyu exclaims, his eyes devouring your body. You moan in response, unable to form coherent words.

The sight of you drives him wild, spurring him to pound on you with the remaining power he has as his thrusts become more urgent and desperate with each passing moment. You can feel the intensity building, the tension coiling tighter and tighter with each thrust.

"F-faster, Mingyu! Fuck!"

Mingyu can sense his climax approaching as his pace grows more aggressive. His voice, husky with desire, echoes as he reaches the pinnacle of pleasure. "I'm cumming," he utters. With each gasp, the tension in the air becomes palpable, thick with anticipation.

Mingyu breathes a groan and releases his seed deep inside you, feeling the warmth of his essence flooding and filling you, leaving you breathless. As Mingyu slows his pace, you can feel your heart racing as though it's about to burst. He leans forward, his forehead pressing against yours. And then, with a gentle brush of his lips against yours, he seals the moment with a tender kiss.

"Is this how you ask a girl out? Sex talaga?"

"Since you already mentioned it, might as well shoot my shot and court you."

---- end ----

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lilithaban · 1 year

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Dominance

pairings: jeon wonwoo x female reader

— filo setting

🖋️: smut, bf au!

warning: 🔞 mature content, liquor, cigarettes, female dom, profanities, unprotected sex, language

— dni minors!

posted: january 27, 2023

happy reading!

—————————————————————

“What about the gin bulag or alfonso?” suhestyon mo habang si Wonwoo naman ay naglalaro ng genshin impact sakanyang phone.

“Balak mo ba akong lasingin, baby?” sagot nito habang nakatuon ang atensyon sa kanyang nilalaro.

“Hmm nagrereklamo ka? sabi mo magsuggest ako ng alak!”

My boyfriend put down his phone on the side table and turned his gaze to me. “Yes, pero hindi ko naman sinabing hard. Kaya mag beer na lang kaya tayo?” sagot nito atsaka lumapit sakin

Nagkibit balikat lamang ako at agad na tinignan ang refrigerator para icheck kung may red horse o kahit anong beer. “Hmm”

“Baby we only have red horse here, is that ok with you?”

“Hmm yes. Come here let’s get it done”

—

It’s past 3 am and both of you are still alive and already drank one case of red horse and smoke 4 sticks of cigarettes. Nasa veranda niyobg napagpasyahan na mag-inom.

“Are you tired baby? can you still drink?”

I shrugged. “No, but let's settle with one case na lang. And let’s just enjoy the view for now.”

Lumapit ka kay Wonwoo para umupo sa kandungan niya atsaka siya niyakap. Habang nakayakap ka sakanya naramadaman mo na lang ang marahan niyang paghimas sa buhok pababa sa bewang mo.

“Hmm that feels so nice,”

Narinig ko naman ang mahina niyang pagtawa. Patuloy lang siya sa pagsuklay sa mahabang buhok. “You smell so nice, Y/n. I can’t smell the scent of beer and cigarette on you. Hmm”

“Uh huh, Woo can you tie my hair?” I said and give him my ponytail.

Dahan-dahan niya munang sinuklay ang aking buhok atsaka ito itinali. Pagtapos nun ay wala ni isang nagsalita sainyo bagkus tanging simoy lang ng hangin ang tangung naririnig.

Sa ilang minuto niyong pagyayakapan may kung anong kilit kang naramdaman sa kaibuturan mo.

Oh fuck

Napamura ka sayong isipan because something inside you ignites.

Fucking hell...

Kumalas ka pagkakayakap kay Wonu atsaka hinawakan ang magkabilang pisngi nito. Marahan mong hinimas ang pisngi ng nobyo mo at tinitigan ito diretso sa mata.

“Hmm?”

Fuck, here comes his lazy stares. I can already feel my wetness down there! Of course his lazy eyes is one of your weakness because he really really hot when he does that.

Tinitigan mo pa rin siya at para kang aatakihin sa puso dahil sa kagwapuhan nito. His lazy stares, glasses on, and him on black shirt is like killing you.

“Ang pogi pogi talaga ng boyfriend ko,” ngiting sabi mo at hinalikan nang paulit-ulit ang mapulang labi nito.

Hahalikan mo na ulit sana siya nang hinuli niya ang batok mo. Nakatitig lang siya sayo na parang may masama kang ginawa sakanya. Napalunok ka na lang nang makita mong kinagat nito ang kanyang labi.

“You're triggered something, are you aware of that?” madiing sabi nito habang hawak nito ang batok mo at mariing nakatitig sayo.

Ngumiti ka lamang ng nakakaloka. Pinatong mo ang dalawang kamay mo sakanyang balikat at binigyan mo siya ng napaka tamis mong ngiti.

Na hinding-hindi matatanggihan ng isang Jeon Wonwoo.

“Hmm really? I mean what do you mean by that? masama na bang halikan boyfriend ko?” sinadya mong ngumuso at hawakan ang mapulang labi nito gamit ang iyong hintuturo.

Now you can clearly see your boyfriend's raging eyes. Despite of his stares you slowly grind on his lap feeling his clothed dick. Patuloy ka lang sa paggiling sa kandungang ng boyfriend mo habang siya'y halos lapain ka na ng mga titig nito.

Ngumiti ka ng nakakaloka nang maramdaman mong unti-unting bumaba ang kamay nito sa suso mo.

“Hmmm” mahina kang umungol nang lamasin nang marahan ang iyong suso. Dahil sa ginawang pag lamas ni Wonwoo ay tumayo ka atsaka unti-unting tinanggal ang damit pang itaas mo. Leaving your red wine lacey bra.

Kitang-kita mo ang panggigil ng mga titig ni Wonwoo kaya nung hahawakan ka na niya agad mong hinawakan ang dalawang kamay nito upang pigilan sa balak nito.

“Not so fast baby,”

Binitawan mo ang mga kamay nito atsaka lumayo nang kaunti.

Mas lalo pang dumilim ang mga titig ni Wonwoo nang mabagal kang sumayaw sa harap nito. Tumalikod ka at gumiling sa harap nito.

“Fuck y/n” nagsunod-sunod na ang mura nito dahil sa sekswal mong pagsayaw.

Dahil sa matinding panggigigil ni Wonu ay hinuli nito ang kamay mo atsaka hinila ka pabalik sa kandungan nito.

“Tangina y/n ayokong minumura kita pero dahil sa ginagawa mo sinasagad mo ako.” bakas ang inis at matinding pagpigil sa pagkakasabi nito

Mahina kang natawa at hindi mo na hinintay na magsalita pa ang iyong nobyo at hinalikan ito ng malalim.

Inayos mo ang pagkakaupo mo sa kandungan ng nobyo mo habang nagpapalitan kayo ng mapupusok na halik. Kinagat mo ang ibabang labi ni Wonu nang bigla niyang lamasin ang suso mo na kanina pa namumula.

Habang nagpapalitan kayo ng mapupusok na halik ay siyang pagbaba ng kaliwang kamay ni Wonu papuntang mamasa-masa mong puke.

Marahan niya itong hinimas kahit na may suot ka pang skirt at panty. Kaya naman tumigil ka sa paghalik at tinitigan ang kamay niyang inaasar ka.

“Tangina ka ipasok mo na” naiinis mong sabi at gumiling habang hinihimas nito ang naglalawa mong puke. Para kang mababaliw sa sensasyong nararamdaman mo mula sa paggiling ag paghimas ng talentadong mga daliri ni Wonwoo.

“Chill the fuck down woman, kakantutin din kita.”

You rolled your eyes because your temper cannot take it anymore so you quickly stood up then dragged the fuck down Wonwoo on your living room.

Nang makarating kayo roon ay agad mong tinulak pa-upo sa couch atsaka dali-daling hinubad ang natitira mo pang saplot. Kaya naman mas lalong nakaramdam ng libog ang nobyo mong kating-kati na wasakin ka.

Mabilis kang kumandong sakanya. “No more foreplay lover boy” you smriked and slowly grind your wetness on his hard fuck dick.

“But I wanna eat you before that,” taas kilay na sinabi ng nobyo mo habang nakatitig sa hubad mong katawan.

You crossed your arm, “No. Let me dominate you this time,”

You can already feel his dick twitching so you hurriedly insert his fat ass dick on your hole.

“Fuck, ang sikip mo pa rin talaga kahit kailan” narinig mong mura ni Wonu habang naga-adjust ka pa sa laki nito. Kahit na ilang beses na may nangyari sayo ng nobyo mo still nahihirapan ka pa rin dahil sa laki ng tite nito.

Nang makapag adjust ka sa laki nito ay unti-unting bumibilis ang pagtaas baba mo sakanya. Hindi mo na alam kung saan ibabaling ang iyong ulo dahil sa sobrang sarap ng sensasyon na hatid sayo ng bawat pagsalpok ng puke mo sa malaki at matabang ari nito.

“Fuck, fuck yes! oh my god,”

Nagsunod-sunod na ang malulutong monng pagmumura at ungol. Kaya naman hinalikan ka ng nobyo mo at sumasabay na rin sa ritmong ginagawa mo.

“Putangina, y/n” rinig mong mura nito at ang sunod-sunod nitong ungol na lalong nagpalibog sayo.

Nagpatuloy lamang ang pag sasalpukan ng puke mo at ang ari ni Wonwoo nang makaramdaman ka na malapit ka nang labasan.

“Oh god, baby I’m coming” hirap na hirap mong sinabi

Naka awang na ang mga labi niyo at mga matang tumitirik dahil sa hatid na sarap ng ginagawa niyo. Parang mas lalo kang mababaliw at lalabasan dahil sa bawat pagsalpukan ng mga ari niyo ay ang siyang pag lamas ni Wonwoo sa suso mo.

“Hmm fuck i’m coming”

At kaunting ulos pa ay sabay kayong nilabasan ng nobyo mo. Ramdam mong punong-puno ng tamad ang puke mo.

Napayakap ka na lang sakanya dahil sa pagod. Parehas hinahabol ang hininga. Nakapatong ka pa rin sakanya at nasa loob pa rin ng puke mo ang ari nito kaya ramdam mo pa rin ang paninigas nito. Kaya mabilis kang hiniga nito sa couch.

“Baby, I think I'm gonna fuck you till the sun shines.”

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motziedapul · 6 months

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Hello fellow Pinoys, fellow komiks fans, and fellow queer artists and fans of queer stories, I'm doing a book launch at the wonderful Little Ghosts Books in Toronto next Sunday, November 5 at 1-3pm!

Drop by, say hi, and grab yourselves a copy of the following collaborative works by amazing Filipino creators:

💖The Pinoy Monster Boyfriend Anthology

💖The Pinoy Monster Girlfriend Anthology

💖The Pinoy Monster Lover Anthology

(Queer komiks anthologies about monsters by Filipino creators that I produced, contributed to, and edited)

🫀Aswang at Berdugo

(A political horror comic that I wrote and created with the fantastic Gener Pedriña)

#Filipino author #Filipino komiks #komiks #Filipino comics #indie comics #Filipino Canadian #Toronto

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yourtitakate · 1 year

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some books by Filipino authors

Sugar and Spite by Gail D. Villanueva → Two young girls who dislike each other end up becoming friends thanks the magic of a gayuma and the typhoon that threatens their island home.

The Sleepless by Victor Manibo → In the wake of a pandemic which causes people to lose the ability to fall asleep, an investigative journalist uncovers a sinister plot behind his boss’s apparent suicide.

The Wolf of Oren-Yaro by K.S. Villoso → After a failed reconciliation with her estranged husband, a queen finds herself behind enemy lines and must return home in order to save her son. But she also maybe finds love along the way?

Silver Under Nightfall by Rin Chupeco → The throuple we deserve from Castlevania if they weren’t such cowards. A vampiric married couple team up with a vampire hunter to eradicate a mutant strain of vampires threatening their kingdom.

You, Me, U.S. by Brigitte Bautista → A sex worker finds herself falling for her best friend, a saleslady who has dreams of marrying an American in order to give her family a better life in the United States.

Marikit and the Ocean of Stars by Caris Avendaño Cruz → A half-diwata girl discovers her heritage after a birthday party when the forces of darkness come to take her and her powers. She must travel through the land of the engkanto using a map her mother wove into her dress.

If you enjoyed this list, visit my blog Your Tita Kate! I talk more about Filipino authors and books over there. Links in my description and pinned post!

#Filipino author #Filipino writer #Filipino books #book tumblr #bookblr #book blog #book blogger #Filipino #filtheshelves

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kammartinez · 3 months

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The Philippines is one of the most dangerous places in the world for journalists, but the threat, in my mind at least, was out in the provinces, where private armies and local officials operated with impunity. I was working for the largest television network and the highest circulated broadsheet in Manila. I also assumed, correctly as it turned out, that the assassination of a onetime national treasure would be more trouble than it was worth.

from Some People Need Killing: A Memoir of Murder in My Country, by Patricia Evangelista

#quotes #some people need killing #patricia evangelista #nonfiction #journalism #history #politics #crime #books #filipino history #filipino politics #filipino literature #filipino author

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kamreadsandrecs · 4 months

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Title: Some People Need Killing: A Memoir of Murder in My Country

Author: Patricia Evangelista

Genre/s: nonfiction, history, politics, crime, journalism

Content/Trigger Warning/s: journalistic depictions and discussions of crimes such as murder, kidnapping, and rape, as well as natural disasters, including the effects of Typhoon Haiyan (PH name Yolanda)

Summary (from publisher's page): “My job is to go to places where people die. I pack my bags, talk to the survivors, write my stories, then go home to wait for the next catastrophe. I don’t wait very long.” Journalist Patricia Evangelista came of age in the aftermath of a street revolution that forged a new future for the Philippines. Three decades later, in the face of mounting inequality, the nation discovered the fragility of its democratic institutions under the regime of strongman Rodrigo Duterte. Some People Need Killing is Evangelista’s meticulously reported and deeply human chronicle of the Philippines’ drug war. For six years, Evangelista chronicled the killings carried out by police and vigilantes in the name of Duterte’s war on drugs—a war that has led to the slaughter of thousands—immersing herself in the world of killers and survivors and capturing the atmosphere of fear created when an elected president decides that some lives are worth less than others. The book takes its title from a vigilante whose words seemed to reflect the psychological accommodation that most of the country had made: “I’m really not a bad guy,” he said. “I’m not all bad. Some people need killing.” A profound act of witness and a tour de force of literary journalism, Some People Need Killing is also a brilliant dissection of the grammar of violence and an important investigation of the human impulses to dominate and resist.

Buy Here: https://bookshop.org/p/books/some-people-need-killing-a-memoir-of-murder-in-my-country-patricia-evangelista/19968748

Spoiler-Free Review: Okay, so. I already had this in my TBR and was planning to read it in some vague point in the future, but a close friend of mine picked it up and mentioned it in a tweet. Since I was midway through Mona Awad’s Rouge at the time, I promised to give it a shot once I was done with that. The finishing of THAT book got further delayed because Paladin’s Faith got released and I had to read THAT, then continued with Rouge to finish it. When it was all said and done though I picked this up and got stuck in.

Now just to be clear: I am Filipino, have lived in the Philippines all my life, and am lucky enough to live a privileged life by the standards of my country. I didn’t vote for Rodrigo Duterte in the 2016 elections because I liked neither his politics nor his values, and I certainly didn’t like the stories I’d read in the news about the Davao Death Squad, and so was one of many people who felt that sucking wave of dread when it was announced he’d won.

What followed was a nightmare I was lucky enough to view from a distance (afforded to me by my aforementioned privilege), and through the hazy fog of slow-rolling grief because of my mother’s cancer diagnosis, treatment, and death in the following years. I didn’t see all the news reports, but I did see the reactions on social media. One of the earliest ones was #CardboardJustice, which was started by my friend Hope Swann, and then popularized by Adrienne Onday. It was a response to how many murder victims had been turning up with a piece of cardboard attached to them with the statement “Pusher ako” (”I am a [drug] pusher”), as if that would justify their slaughter to those who came upon the victim’s body, as if all that was needed to pronounce one guilty of drug pushing was to have a cardboard sign saying so on one’s person. #CardboardJustice was one of the first grassroots movements pushing back against the drug war, and it was adopted quite widely in the latter end of 2016 and early into 2017.

Another one that sticks out in my mind is #Tumindig (”Stand Up”), which was inspired by the artwork of the same name by Kevin Eric “Tarantadong Kalbo” Raymundo. That artwork, released in 2021, was in response to Duterte’s handling of the COVID-19 pandemic, but also to his government’s half-dozen years of murder, red-tagging, and censorship. Like #CardboardJustice, #Tumindig inspired a movement, especially among other artists - and it was still popular enough by the time the 2022 national elections rolled around to be used by those supporting Leni Robredo’s presidential campaign. #CardboardJustice and #Tumindig - one emerging from the first year of the Duterte presidency, the other from its last - bookend six years of continuous pushback against him and his government.

But what’s puzzling is, there wasn’t any mention of this in Evangelista’s book. And even if she was unaware of those specific movements, surely she was aware of the many other grassroots movements that emerged throughout Duterte’s presidency? People from all walks of life protested against Duterte from before the beginning of his regime, all the way to the end, and even beyond. Why was no mention made of these efforts to push back? My assumption, of course, would be that any mention of these movements was left out for the sake of keeping the book’s narrative and subject matter focused, but if there was room for Evangelista’s personal stories, why was there no room to tell, even in brief, the stories of those who protested and fought back? The concepts of “lumaban” and “nanlaban” are key themes in this book, so why didn’t Evangelista even nod to the protests and protesters?

I would hope that readers, especially foreign readers, will know better than to assume that ALL Filipinos approved of what Duterte was doing, but a part of me is too cynical (especially where white Westerners are concerned) to believe that will be the case. Worse, they might assume that the masa (”the masses”) were uniformly duped into voting for him. So let me say, here and now: many Filipinos from all walks of life saw through Duterte and knew him for what he was. We didn’t vote for him, and we fought back, each in our own way, all throughout his presidency. Some of us - students, activists, social workers, journalists, and many more - were killed, or disappeared, becoming the desaparecidos (”the disappeared”) of the Duterte regime. Many were not directly targeted, but fled due to the dire circumstances both economic and social produced by his regime, looking for better and safer work and living conditions elsewhere. And many of us continue to fight back today.

As for Evangelista herself, her personal stories are scattered all throughout this book, though they are most present at the beginning. While I don’t think there’s really anything wrong with the inclusion of such stories (not least because “memoir” is right there in the book’s subtitle), I kind of found myself sliding through them more quickly as I sought out the more journalistic material on the drug war. It’s not that Evangelista’s personal story isn’t INTERESTING, per se, but I think it would be more interesting to foreigners, who didn’t witness the drug war in real time like most Filipinos did.

Overall I think this is a pretty important read - or, at least, for foreigners: for anyone who, as I said, didn’t see the drug war happening in real time, in front and all around them. And for the most part, it certainly reads like it's aimed at that specific audience, shining a light on events that the rest of the world probably didn’t know about, or only understood peripherally. It’s timely too, considering the ICC case against Duterte plus who the current President and Vice President are. But for those of us who WERE here to witness the drug war, who had to live with Duterte running the country for six entire years and feared he’d declare martial law and rule us for much longer - this book might feel a bit lacking in some areas, not least the coverage of the many protests across those six years. Many people did what they could to fight back - some even disappeared, or were killed, or had to go into hiding or flee to protect themselves and/or those closest to them. It would have been nice to see them get even some coverage in this book.

Rating: four bullets

#book review #book reviews #some people need killing #patricia evangelista #nonfiction #journalism #history #politics #crime #books #filipino history #filipino politics #filipino literature #filipino author

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nakedinashes · 2 years

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books cristina read in 2022: the spear cuts through the water - simon jimenez

“This is a love story down to its blade-dented bone.”

#the spear cuts through the water #simon jimenez #fantasy #lgbtq reads #lgbt lit #filipino author #books #bookblr #2022 reads #books i read

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reinaxregina · 1 year

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give me the cold shoulder and I'll give you a cold corpse in return don't imagine you can shut me out and think my door will be open when you feel like coming back I can live without you until the day I die.

who’s freezing whom out, some things don’t survive, Reina Regina

#text #writing #mine #poetry #female poet #asian poet #asian poetry #asian author #female author #filipino poet #filipino author #sad poetry #angry poetry

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kalakian · 1 year

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Pamamaalam kay Lualhati Bautista, alagad ng sining. Kilala si Lualhati Bautista sa kanyang mga libro tulad ng Gapo, Dekada 70 at Bata Bata Pa'no Ka Ginawa.

#kalakian #pilipino #filipino #lualhati bautista #filipino author #filipino writer #filipino literature #gapo #bata bata pano ka ginawa #dekada 70

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inkcurlsandknives · 9 months

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Hi Tumblr I'm an Asian fantasy author fleeing the sudden death of all my other social media sites 👋 I've used Tumblr for years as a fandom lurker and rarely posted but in light of all my other communities imploding I guess I'll have to figure out how to be actually active on Tumblr and find bookish and writerly folks here 💜 say hi if that's you 🥺

If you love diverse filipino fantasy with bipoc leads, angry bi women clawing for space in a world that's always rejected them and soft boys who'd do anything for them, awesome elemental magic based on early Filipino shaman/ babaylan/katalonan mythologies and the Tagalog creation story, and the Bakunawa/Laho the 🇵🇭 sea dragon 🐉 and drowning colonizers then I hope you'll keep an eye out for SAINTS OF STORM AND SORROW coming in June 2024 from Titan Books

#author #writer #writeblr #readblr #bookblr #filipino author #filipino creative #asian fantasy #lgbtqia #queer fantasy #my writing #saints of storm and sorrow #fantasy book

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isobelleposts · 2 years

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A Unique Perspective into the Marcos Regime from Gina Apostol

Cover of 'Gun Dealer's Daughter' by Gina Apostol

Gun Dealer’s Daughter by Gina Apostol is one of the first Filipino novels I’ve read and has pushed me to further explore and support local writers. As someone who is young and has never witnessed the Marcos regime with my own eyes or lived through those dreadful times—and thankfully so—getting an unusual perspective of the era through the deranged mind of Soledad Soliman immediately hooked me to purchase the book.

Ferdinand Marcos Sr. alongside his wife, Imelda Marcos

THE RICH

Soledad Soliman, as regarded through the book’s title, is a gun dealer’s daughter with close ties to the dictator and easy access to privilege and wealth. What struck me most aside from the fractured consciousness of the main character, which author Gina Apostol puts us through to witness this story, was the privilege that was often pointed out and openly stated for the readers to interpret.

From the spoils of those bloody times, my parents purchased this gilded womb.

Page 45 of ‘Gun Dealer’s Daughter’

Although Sol was only a baby when the bloody times of the Martial Law first broke out, this line alone proves the sheer privilege she and her family has—able to escape and avoid these crimes while others less privileged were given no other choice than to live under the unjust ruling of the dictator, with some even left to be wrongfully arrested and killed.

“We’ll always have our wealth, we will always have our names. There is something suspicious, dishonest, in playacting revolt. We’re cockroaches. We’ll outlast even our crimes.”

Page 139 of ‘Gun Dealer’s Daughter’

Even Sol herself acknowledges this privilege during a talk with Jed in one of the book’s pages.

Victims of the Martial Law

THE TORTURED

This book is unfortunately slow-paced, and although I adore Gina Apostol’s efforts and talent to write so precisely in the blurred mind of the main character, it took me a while to get to a chapter that would push me to read what else may follow. The plot of the book, I would say, arrives near the end wherein Sol’s vision of her past gradually becomes clearer and concise.

It was the severed head of a child. — Her skirt a clump over her waist. A private army aimed at her parts.

Page 193 of ‘Gun Dealer’s Daughter’

It was at this point that the story started taking up its pace as my stomach lurched in disgust and fright over the images that popped into my head with the author’s description of these tortures that similarly took place in real life not so long ago, to innocent civilians and activists fighting for the country’s freedom.

“That corner there, Sol. See that line, that shadow?” Edwin said. I nodded, looking. “That’s a gun, an automatic.”

Page 194 of ‘Gun Dealer’s Daughter’

It was disappointing, that I, along with Sol, only then was struck with the seriousness of her father’s business and her close association with these horrid crimes. To think that she had been so closely linked with giving way for these tortures to take place was something only the most cruel people could ignore.

THE ENDING

Gina Apostol’s writing is one of the most unique ones I’ve encountered and the structure of this story was interesting enough to keep me reading. Yet despite this, it felt as though the story from the very beginning was leading up to a major revelation that never met or come close to exceeding my expectations.

“Why, the Colonel had to go, of course,” my mother exclaimed. “One way or the other, Gianni said, he had to go. He was not following the plan.”

Page 272 of Gun Dealer’s Daughter

The book shares an interesting view into the Marcos regime through the eyes of the privileged youth, and though it may not be the most educational book there is to learn about our sadly almost-forgotten and widely disregarded history based on recent election results, it is a well-written story that has you applauding the author for her clear execution.

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lilithaban · 1 year

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photograph

pairings: jeong jaehyun (archi student) x female reader (advertising arts major)

— filo setting

🖋️: smut

warnings: 🔞, mature content, profanities !

— dni minors!

posted: january 29, 2023

happy reading!

———————————————————————————

Hilong-hilo, at pagod na pagod kang naglalakad sa buong campus dahil ni wala kang makitang estudyante na papasok sa standards mo since kailangan mo ng model for your major subject na associated with photography.

Marami namang pogi rito pero hindi mo pa rin mahanap yung tao na magfifit sa model mo. Naka heels ka pa naman kaya ramdam mo na ang pangangalay ng paa mo.

Ang theme mo kasi sa photo shoot is sensual na may touch ng wong kar wai effect dahil nagustuhan mo yung movie na to. Dahil kanina ka pa palakad-lakad sa campus niyo ay naupo ka muna sa bench sa tabi ng soccer field.

“Tangina wala pa rin akong mahanap eh sa makalawa na yun ipapasa” naiinis mong sambit

Kaya habang nagpapahinga ka ay may nahagip ang mata mong naglalakad patungo sa kinaroroonan mo.

mukhang may model na ako para sa photo project ko sabi mo sa isipan mo.

By the way he walk he looks like a model. His build is alright swak para sa taste mo when it comes to modeling and photo shoot, he's definitely a six footer, his hairstyle is similar to those model on some magazine photoshoots, comma hairstyle. Maputi rin siya at matangos ang ilong.

Kaya naman nagkunwari kang tumitingin sa mga magazines mo nang umupo siya sa tabi mo. Tahimik ka lang at nagkukunwaring sinusuri ang magazine at siya naman ay nilabas ang kanyang binder.

Ooh archi pala to si pogi.

Lumipas na lang ang ilang minuto ay pareho pa rin kayong tahimik at hindi binibigyan pansin ang bawat isa. Kaya medyo napalingon ka ng narinig mo siyang tumawa.

“Fuck you, Johnny. I’ll go home after this” rinig mong sabi nito

Fucking hell

may dimple rin siya….

Nang nawala na ang kaibigan nito ay nanahimik ulit ang paligid. Tanging pagsayaw lang ng mga puno ang maririnig mo.

Lumingon ka sa katabi mo at hininhintay ang tamang tyempo para tanungin siya kung papayag ito sa photoshoot. Kaya nung nakatayo siya at handa nang umalis ay nagsalita ka.

“Ahm hi! sorry if bigla akong nagsalita but can I have you to my photoshoot as my model? I’m an advertising arts major sa kabilang building,” nahihiya mong sinabi

“Hello? a model? for what,”

“For my photoshoot project, it’s a sensual with a touch of wong kar wai”

“Hmm”

Bigla ka namang kinabahan kasi baka hindi siya pumayag since medyo sensual ang theme ng photoshoot mo.

Oh my god sana pumayag siya para matapos na ako sa project na to.

“So are you in?” kinakabahan mong tanong

“Hmm in one condition” he replied

“Ok, anong kondisyon mo?”

“I’ll just tell you after the shoot.”

You only nodded and start to pack your things.

“Ngayon na ba?” rinig mong tanong nito

“Yup, kasi 4 pm naman na and mas ok magshoot if madilim na. Also aayusin ko rin yung place ko for photoshoot.”

Nagsimula na siyang maglakad kaya naman hinabol ko siya para pigilan. “Hindi dyan, doon tayo sa kabila since naka dorm ako malapit lang dito sa univ”

“Let’s use my car, I bet nagta-tric ka lang”

Napataas ka naman ng kilay sa sinabi niyo. Ok mister parang nakakasama ang pagsakay sa tricycle niyan dahil sa tono niya.

Kaya naman sumunod ka na lang sakanya. Medyo natulala ka nang makita mo na ang sasakyan nito.

He’s driving a black porsche.

Tamang-tama para sakanya gwapo na may porsche.

“My car’s looks so handsome right?” rinig mong asar nito kaya naman tinaasan mo lang ito ng kilay at pumasok nasa shotgun seat.

In fairness mabango at malinis ang sasakyan niya. Mas nakakadagdag gwapo. At parang may kung anong sumapi sa puke ko ng magsimula siya magdrive.

Magdrive in one hand.

Putangina

Ramdam mo na ang pamamamqsa ng ari mo dahil sa nakikita mo at idagdag mo pa ang pagtugtog sa radyo ng bone thugs n harmony, thuggish ruggish bone.

Pinagpapawisan ka na kahit naka on naman ang ac ng sasakyan nito. Para kang nanlalambot dahil sa gwapo nitong mukha habang nagmamaneho.

Shet talaga ang gwapo naman nitong model ko.

Nakarating na lang kayo sa dorm mo na pawis na pawis ka at natataranta.

“Your unit look so nice,” rinig mong sinabi nito habang iniikot ang paningin sa unit mo.

“A—ahh thanks, ako lang naman nakatira dito since from province pa talaga ako nakatira” sagot mo naman

“Dyan ka lang muna magbibihis lang ako then bibigyan kita ng damit na pwede mong suotin. Doon tayo sa room ko magsho-shoot” sagot mo sabay takbo sa kwarto mo.

Agad mong sinarado ang pinto ng kwarto nang makapasok ka na rito. Napasandal ka na lang sa pinto dahil sa kaba at init ng nararamdaman mo.

“Oh my god y/n totoo ba tong nararamdaman mo? what the hell hindi mo kilala yan at mas lalong hindi ka papatulan niyan”

Sinampal mo ang sarili mo at dumiretso sa banyo para maghilamos at baka sakaling mawala ang init mong nararamdaman.

“Oh ito yung susuotin mo, iwan mong nakabukas lahat ng butones, then lumapit ka rito para aayusan kita,” ma-awtoridad mong sinabi atsaka kumilos na parang walang init na nararamdaman.

Tinitigan mo ang modelo mo nang hindi pa nito kinukuha sa kamay mo ang mga damit na gagamitin. Mariin lang siyang nakatitig sayo kaya medyo kinabahan ko. At mas lalo pang kinabahan na makita mong dumiin ang paghawak nito sakanyang hoodie.

“You can change here sa may banyo ng kwarto ko then aayusin ko na muna to saglit bago ka ayusan” sabi mo sabay inabot sakanya ang damit na hawak mo

Nang pumasok ito sa banyo ay agad kang nakahinga ng maluwag at dali-daling inayos ang sarili bago ang kama dahil nga rito kayo magsho-shoot.

Kaya naman nang naghihintay ka sa gilid ng kama ay napatulala ka na lang dahil sa biglang paglabas ng modelo mo.

Holy fuck….

“Do I look hot?” rinig mong pangangasar nito at naupo sa harap ng vanity mirror. “Stop staring at me like that. You don’t wanna make you my dinner for tonight, right?”

—

You don’t wanna make you my dinner for tonight, right?

And you’re here on your bed giving him blowjob. Hindi mo na maisip kung paano kayo nahantong sa ganito pero heto ka sinusubo ang malaking tite nito. Halos mabilaukan ka na sa laki.

“Fuck yes right there baby”

“You’re sucking me so good fuck. I can’t wait to reciprocate this feeling baby” hirap na hirap nitong sinabi habang naka sabunot ito sa buhok para iguide ka sa pagsubo sa ari nito.

Alam mo na malapit na siyang labasan dahil nanginginig na ang hita nito at ang sunod-sunod na ungol nito.

“Hmm”

“Lalabasan na ako”

“Putangina”

Napamura na lang ito nang nilunok mo ang tamod na nilabas ng kanyang tite. Inangat mo ang ulo mo at ngumiti sakanya.

Nagdilim ang paningin nito at hinila ka paupo sa kandungan niya. Mabilis kang hinalikan nito at nagulat ka na lang ng punitin nito ang underwear mong regalo pa sayo ng kaibigan mo.

Ramdam mo ang marahan na paghimas nito sa puke mong naglalawa at pinasok na lang bigla ang dalawang daliri sa loob mo.

“Fuck tangina” halos mapunit na ang labi mo nang unti-unti nito nilabas pasok ang dalawang daliri sa loob mo. Halos mabaliw ka na sa sarap na ginagawa niya lalo na ng magdagdag ito ng isa pang daliri at supsupin ang errected mong utong.

“Yes a-aah oh my ang sarap tangina”

“lalabasan na ako” nahihirapan mong sinabi habang mga mata mo’y nagdedeliryo.

“Not yet, let me fuck your cunt with my tounge”

Hindi ka na nito hinintay na magsalita at mabilis kang inihiga nito at walang-awang pinapak ang puke mo. Hindi mo na alam kung saan mo ibabaling ang ulo mo sa sobrang sarap ng ginagawa nito sayo.

“Ahh shit”

“Fuck fuck”

“Stop with foreplay baby, please insert that thing to me” halos mag makaawa ka na sakanya na kantutin ka. Rinig mo ang tawa niya pero hindi siya nagsalita bagkus pinagpatuloy niya lang ang pag kantot sa puke mo gamit ang dila nito at hanggang sa labasan ka na lang ulit sa pangatlong pagkakataon ay nakasupsop pa rin ito sa tinggil mo.

Halos hindi ka na maka pagsalita dahil sa pagod at tatlong beses ka ng nilabasan ni hindi ka pa nga binabarurot ng lalaking nasa harap mo.

“And for my main course,” sambit nito at bigla na lamang pinasok ang tite nito sa loob mo.

“Tangina ka bakit mo naman bini—” hindi mo na natapos ang sasabihin mo dahil habang kinakantot ka nito ay sinusop niya ang kaliwang utong mo.

“Yes yes! please fuck me right there” pagmamakaawa mo at inabot mo ang mukha niya para halikan

Halos mabaliw ka na sa sobrang sarap ng pagkantot niya sayo. Kaya naman hindi mo mapigilang ipitin ang tite nito habang naglalabas pasok sa puke mo.

“Ang sarap putangina ang sikip sikip mo” gigil nitong sabi at mas lalong bumilis ang pagkanto nito sayo

“Parang sinasakal yung tite ko. Putangina ka ang sarap mo”

Hindi ka na makasagot sa sinabi niya dahil wala ka ng lakas.

“Shit i’m coming”

“Are you on pills?”

“Yes, please iputok mo sa loob ko. Putukan mo ako”

“Aa—ahhhhhh”

Naramdaman mo na lang na pareho kayong nilabasan at parang lintang gulay ka na nakayakap sakanya. Parehas kayong hingal na hingal at parang lalagutan ng hininga dahil sa matinding pagkakantutan niyo.

“I—I forgot, my name’s y/n, and you are” kahit na pagod ka nagawa mo pa rin siyang tanungin dahil nagkantutan, nagkainan ng puke at tite and still hindi niyo pa rin alam pangalan ng isa’t isa.

“Jaehyun, Jeong Jaehyun”

"So, are we going to continue to fuck each other or will you photograph us in this bed with our bodies naked?"

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womanlalaboy · 1 year

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A post shared by Winnie Marquez (@winniemea)

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If you feel reduced for being a Filipino, especially these days, try reading The Philippines Is Not A Small Country by Gideon Lasco. You just might regain that Filipino pride along with widening your perspective. Nonetheless, this is a good read.

#womanlalaboy #book #filipino book #filipino author #filipino culture #filipino essays #the philippines is not a small country #hiking #abra #philippine mountains #gideon lasco #Instagram

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ros4rt · 2 years

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Balete white lady

May sabi-sabi na kumakalat sa bayan namin tungkol sa isang babaeng walang mukha na naka suot ng puting bestida. Kuwento ng mamaat papa ko, simula nang bata pa sila ay mayroon ng puno ng balete sa liblib na daan palabas ng bayan at halos lahat ng mga dumadaan doon sa kalagitnaan ng gabi ay nakikita ang babaeng nakaputi at naaaksidente. Ang iba'y namamatay at ang mga nabuhay ay takot ng dumaan doon sa kalagitnaan ng gabi, ayaw makitang muli ang babae. Tinawag nga nila itong white lady.

Labing walong taon na ako at hindi naniniwala sa mga kuwento-kuwento tungkol sa mga multo dahil hindi pa naman ako nakakita ng multo. Maniniwala lang ako sa isang bagay kung ito'y nakita ng dalawang mata ko o hindi kaya'y nahawakan ng palad ko.

"Inay!" tawag ko sa aking lola. "Alam niyo po ba kung bakit na roon ang babaeng walang mukha at naka bestida ng puti?" puno ng kuryosidad na tanong ko.

Lumingon si lola sakin at niyaya akong umupo sa tabi niyang bangkito. "Kuwento noon ng aking inay ay isa siyang napaka gandang dalaga na naaksidenteng namatay sa liblib na daan na iyon. Subalit hanggang ngayon ay walang nakakaalam sa totoong pangyayari sa babaeng nakaputing bestida." Pahayag ni lola at pagkatapos pinagpahinga ko na siya sa kaniyang kuwarto.

Nagtungo ako sa labas ng bayan upang makipagkita sa mga kaibigan ko dahil isa sa kanila ay kaarawan niya at bumili ng mga gamit at bitamina nina lola at lolo. Nagabihan na ako dahil sa kasiyahang naganap at halos kalagitnaan na din ng gabi. Inaya nga nila akong matulog na nalamang doon ngunit tumanggi ako. Hinatid na lamang nila ako sa bungad ng bayan namin. Maglalakad ako papunta sa bahay at malalampasan ko ang puno ng balete kung saan na roon ang white lady. Hindi ako takot, masnatatakot ako sa mga taong maitim ang budhi.

Nang nakatapat ko na ang balete sa amin. Wala namang kakaiba sa puno. Madilim dahil sa makapal niyang dahon. Tinitigan ko ito at hinahanap ang babaeng walang mukha at naka bestidang puti.

Nagulat na lang ako nang may tatlong lalaki na nakatayo sa likod ko. Hindi ko sila masyadong makita. Tiningnan ko lang sila na may pagtataka. Magsisimula na sana akong maglakad pero hinawakan ako sa braso ng isa sa mga lalaki. Hindi ko masilayan ang kanilang mukha dahil sa sobrang dilim. Inaasahan ko sana na ang white lady ang makita ko ngunit mukhang mali ako.

"Ano pong kailangan niyo? Saka pakibitay po." may galang ko pang tanong.

Hindi sila nagsalita.

Hinigit ko ang aking braso at handa ng tumakbo pero nakaramdam na lang ako pagtama ng matigas na bagay sa ulo ko at bumagsak na ako.

Pumikit ako. Nagdasal na sana ay mayroong tumulong sa akin. Rinig ko man ang pagpunit nila sa damit ko ay mariin pa rin akong nakapikit umiiyak, nakiki-usap at sumisigaw nang saklolo.

"Huwag po! Tama na! Nakikiusap ako! Tama na!" hiyaw ng isang babaeng maganda ang boses ang narinig ko. Siguradong hindi iyon nanggaling sa akin pero naramdaman ko rin ang paggalaw ng labi ko. "Nakikiusap ako!" minulat ko ang aking mata. Humahagulgol ako. "Paki usap!" nagsasarili ang labi ko. Pinilit kong tumayo pero nanghihina ako at muli namanhid ang ulo ko dahil sa matigas na tumama. Ramdam ko ang mainit na likidong sumusirit. Hindi ako makagalaw. Naririnig ko silang nag-usap ngunit hindi ko sila maintindihan iba ang lenguwaheng gamit nila.

"Enterrémosla." ito ang narinig ko bago ko narinig ang pagpala at paghakot nila sa lupa.

Ililibing nila ako? Tanong ko sa aking sarili. Sa loob-loob ko'y sumisigaw, nagwawala. Gusto kong makalabas pero ang katawan ko'y hindi nasang-ayon.

"Rosa! Gising!" minulat ko ang mga mata ko at bumungad doon ang lola ko. Hindi maipinta ang mukha niya. Halatang nag-aalala. "Apo, diyos ko! Anong nangyare sa iyo? "

"Anong nangyare, inay. Bakit ako nandirito?"

"Nakita ka ng iyong tiyo na nakatayo na lang sa harap ng puno ng balete na parang wala sa sarili at nang ikaw ay naka uwi na tatlong araw ka namang hindi gumising sa pagkakatulog. Para kang isang bangkay sa nagdaang tatlong araw." Kuwento ni lola habang hinahaplos ang buhok ko.

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