#feeling so autistic that i want to run | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sadiewayne · 3 months

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i love tuning into tiktok to be bombarded with read by ai batfam/superbat posts and going "i've seen that one on hellsite"

idk when they changed from reddit to tumblr but they cite their sources better than james somerton and at least it's about my blorbos

#anyone else just constantly seeing superbat tho #it started with one account and now it's like 5 that i am convinced are run by the same person #the something something accounts like giggle potato or entertainmentbread #like i would rather read it on tumblr but also superbat over minecraft parkour does hold your attention #it's weird man #clearly people want superbat over abelist aita posts #bc i am sick of the aita for something something autistic sibling/neighbour #like maybe they did something wrong but half of them are always about an autistic person and it feels so gross #anyway i much prefer superbat #superbat #tiktok #dc #tumblr #hellsite

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dizzybevvie · 11 months

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"Kingdom Hearts is so complicated" "Nomura made it up as he went along" "KH makes no sense" Have you considered that Riku is 15 and autistic and gay bc if you do I think itll change things

#domt get me wrong a lot of kh is fucking ridiculous and some of it is way too complex but like #bare bones? Rikus motivations are so real to me like Riku is such a realised character #Giving him hugs #If sora at any point in the game was like “Riku youre my best friend and i value you” nothing wouldve ever happened /hj #Obviously overhearing the dock convo with Kairi definitely triggered a fight or flight response in him #and him being like “Winner gets to get with Kairi 😼” and then as soon as the race is over being like “lol it was just a joke bro haha”#And him trying so hard to be a cool guy (which works tbf bc sora idolises him but is still evident)#Him tossing Sora a paopu and sayin “c'mon. you know you want to try it.” eithout ever saying Kairi to test the waterz #his main priority after opening the door to darkness being making sure Sora comes with him and feeling betrayed when he doesnt #and then in traverse town running when Sora has the chance to abandon him for his new friends #and then maleficent is like Lol he replaced u <3 and riku is gay and autistic and 15 about it #I care so deeply about kh1 riku. Hes just a little guy and he just needed a hug #apollo says stuff #UGHHHH #Its feeling so so sad about Riku Kingdom hearts hours #riku kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts #kh riku #soriku #beverly says stuff

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pickled-flowers · 2 months

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Also just because you get annoyed by something someone is doing doesn't mean they are evil you can leave us alone

#this is about autistic people.#that guy in you class that is always asking questions? he always raises his hand theres nothing wrong with it #it takes time in the class but that's how he makes sure he understands the subject #and meanwhile every other student decides hes an asshole #that girl who doesnt blink and who cant seem to have a linear conversation is not doing anything wrong #you dont like interacting with her but that doesnt say anything about her you can leave her alone you dont have to bitch behind her back #that person cant read social cues? why are you getting mad? can you shut the fuck up?#it is insane how often some of my friends talk about people who are clearly autistic and are mad at them #no its not because theyre autistic theyre just always interupting!#its not because theyre autistic they just make me uncomfortable! PLEASE LISTEN TO YOURSELF #i swear youre all asshole to us #no respect fr #its so annoying to see you run in a circle trying to justify calling someone an ass for doing literally nothing wrong #youre allowed to feel how you want about other people but you always jump to bullying #and whenever i try to make them realize they get so deffensive #just because you grew up with an autistic brother does not make you a fucking expert youre not even close to him!!#ok sorry im gonna go hit my bong im getting too angry lol

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maevesweirdart · 9 months

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i hate hate hate having PDA (pathological demand avoidance/pervasive drive for autonomy). at work. at school. at home. everyone is like “do the thing” and i’m like “…… k” because i *want* to be able to do the thing, and i know everyone *expects* me to do it, and *all i want* is for people to see me as a trustworthy adult and not flaky or lazy, and i just. can’t???

i’ve been told i’m “making excuses” so so so so many times. eventually i started to internalize it. i tell myself that now. it doesn’t help.

#txt post #txt #my txt #personal vent #vent post #pathological demand avoidance #pda autism #autism #pda profile autism #pda profile #actually autistic #neurodivergent #actually neurodivergent #autism vent #gods i want pda representation in the media so badly #in a society that functions in a way that runs so counter to my needs it’s sometimes so hard to feel like i even exist #i just want one good work of fiction #just *one*#with a prominent pda character that isn’t infantilized or treated badly by the narrative

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w1tchybusiness · 27 days

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i could write a 100 page essay about what a fucking masterpiece warframe is. i will write many words in the tags. please readem if you want my 'tism.

#ive been playing on and off since 2019 but its only recently when i dumped destiny 2 (probably for good) and picked it up #to fill the grind-shaped hole in my heart #that i have uncovered just how FUCKING INCREDIBLE warframe is #everything about it makes me incredibly autistic #from its masterful utilization of an incredibly styled and individual soundtrack full of absolute bangers #to its seemingly unique understanding of how and why an MMO is special to and because of its players #and its truly special story- a uniquely human take on the “post-ruin scifi” tale #it knows exactly how and when to yank on your heart to make you weep like a baby #and it knows exactly when you're going to get angry and want vengeance #and it knows when to let you let loose and unleash hell #SPOILERS FOR THE NEW WAR AHEAD #IF YOU THINK YOU COULD PLAY THE GAME PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO #SPOILER WARNING #i think the narmer corruption of fortuna was genuinely one of the most gutpunchingly horrible moments ive ever experienced in a video game #i started playing when fortuna was already in the game but the story of fortuna and vox solaris was really what made warframe stand out 2 m #i would drop into the orb vallis as gauss and dash around doing bounties and fishing and mining because i really loved everything about #fortuna and wanted to spend as much time there as possible #for me vox solaris was my proudest achievement (in warframe.) to say “i helped that! i did that!” was an incredibly good feeling #the story really spoke to me on a deeper level #and vox solaris has always been my favorite faction as a result #so to do absolutely everything that i could #to lift together with my tenno brothers and sisters and yet STILL fail?#and to have it rubbed in my face by the corruption of the greatest shining pillar of hope in the warframe universe?#felt like i got kicked in the stomach #i felt sad and angry. but most of all i was DRIVEN.#which is GOOD. because RARELY does a video game present you the “you lost” scenario and have it feel not only satisfyingly painful #but MOTIVATING.#my only complaint with the new war is that i didnt get to hack ballas to pieces by myself #i had real flashbacks to running around helping people as gauss while approaching the final boss with erra #and to step onto the ballas arena as gauss prime. i nearly came from the narrative significance

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fujii-draws · 9 months

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:( The comic about Ribbons having a nightmare makes the one where she accuses Dusknoir of trying to come back into their lives scot-free hurt even more, ouch

Understand me

#YEAH. HER FEELINGS TOWARDS DUSKNOIR ARE… COMPLICATED #MORESO THAN AIMILIOS’S.#She’s so terrified of him. and seeing everyone else forgive and move on hurts her even more.#it hurts. it hurts so much. she doesn’t even want to restart with Dusknoir out of the fear of him hurting her again #Dusknoir would try so many times to talk and finally apologize to her. but Ribbons would just run away every single time #and honestly? he doesn’t even blame her. she has every right to not feel safe around him #eventually Dusknoir would prove himself to Ribbons that he’s genuinely trying. and isn’t going to hurt her. not this time.#(going into hc territory for a sec)>>>#after the run-in with the Pangaro with both of them returning to Sharpedo bluff injured; they’d finally talk.#anyways sorry for being autistic in the tags. her dynamic with Dusknoir post game is something I love to think about #like??? between hero and partner Dusknoir manipulated hero SO much more #Aimilios might’ve been devastated by his betrayal but Ribbons was destroyed by it

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dykedivorce · 7 months

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if any other bitch in konoha had been gay apart from sasuke none of this would have happened to my son naruto.

#pussy from the turbotron edgelord 3000 and his whole life went up in flame. NOT worth it #no but fr it's insane how he bamboozled every fan into thinking he was so interesting and cool and badass when .#at the point im at in shippuden hes by far the least interesting of the main characters. one track mind (vengeance) and no depth beyond that #like the other characters rn : sakura coming in to her own ; finding her path and her strength + sharing a connection so deep with naruto #over their common loss that they both just Know although they absolutely cant talk about it #yamato: the only survivor of orochimaru's monstrous experiments on children; kakashi's stand in thats so different from kakashi #it makes you wonder what it would have been like with him as their teacher from the start;#a mystery thats clearly trying his best but whose mission truly is A Lot #SAI: A BRAINWASHED SPY A PAWN FOR A SECRET ORGANISATION WHO CLINGS TO HIS HUMANITY NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES HES BEEN PUNISHED FOR IT #WHO FELL IN LOVE WITH NARUTO FOR MAKING HIM REALIZE HOW DEEP THINGS COULD BE FELT AND HOW DEEP RELATIONSHIPS COULD RUN #WHO HAS BEEN DRAWING A BOOK FOR HIS DEAD BROTHER FOR YEARS EVEN IF HE'S FORGOTTEN WHAT HIS BROTHER LOOKS LIKE #WHO DECIDED TO SPARE SASUKE BECAUSE HE'S LOVED. WHO JUST WANTS TO LEARN HOW TO LIVE A HUMAN LIFE.#MOST AUTISTIC CODED CHARACTER OF ALL TIMES HAS NEVER SUCCESSFULLY MASKED A DAY IN HIS LIFE.#sasuke: sasuke #anyway. im not touching on naruto because i could be here for days #BUT while sasuke on his own so far is very whatever. the narusasu dynamic is truly one for the ages #bc i just saw the ep where sasuke manages to see kyuubi inside naruto and wooshes him away and it's very like.#oh so hes literally seeing naruto's demons and banishing them even as hes telling naruto they dont matter to each other anymore.#oh ok cool cool cool cool this feels normal and not something to obsess over #jesus christ why am i typing all this. who here cares #naruto thoughts

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andthebeanstalk · 10 months

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What up I'm married to a tall person who is basically Milo Thatch but agender, and uhhh, basically, yeah, everyone should be jealous and I LOVE MY CUTE TWINK NERD WIFE!!!!! 😤😤🥰🥰🥰❤❤❤👌👌

#original #i love my wife #had a big crush on that character growing up #you know who else is really into her? EVERY OTHER CHUBBY TRANS GUY IN CHICAGO apparently we just see her and are like OH HELL YEAH #do you know why this is? it is because we have excellent taste that is why.#and also we want non threatening masc people to be into us and respect our gender! that's me anyway #and this is excellent news for her anyway bc we're in an open relationship & she thinks guys like me (her HUSBAND 🥰😁) are incredibly hot #this is also bc she has excellent taste.#but it is a running joke that she keeps getting nice OKC matches that look a lot like me 😂#anyway this post is a thing that would have made young me BOIL with envy if someone else said it but in fact it is ME #and young me grew into me and is in here like AAWWWWWWW YYYEEEEEEEEAAAHHHHH 🤘🤘🤘🤘🚀🚀🚀#she doesn't just look like Milo she also moves and emotes and talks like him. and until recently her glasses would not stay on her face!#she got new ones. nerd. i adore her.#she is so kind to Jack (me) and to my giant anxious pitbull child #she puts his blankie on him as he rests on her toes to make sure she doesn't go anywhere 😭😭❤#she is my best friend and she never makes me feel stupid or fake or undeserving. she just likes me so much and she fkn acts like it!#and we have good boundaries and communication in a very autistic way [positive] and she is so smart and funnyyy #oh i am falling asleep now #probably has something to do with how thinking about my wife makes me feel safe and warm or some gay shit like that 🙄 ;)#edit: omg it just occurred to me that she is like 80% Mill and 20% Jessica Jones. just in terms of like. vibes. XD #she cares a lot about Jessica Jones. I will tell her my findings in the morrow #*80% Milo

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gregmarriage · 2 months

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genuinely so fucked up right now, and so desperate to leave the house, that i would consider my pap smear, a holiday

#a doctor sticking a brush up my vagina would actually be a welcome change of pace to the monotony of my life lately #it’s the closest thing to action i’ve had in a while #and the only woman who’s been near my vagina in a long time soooo yay? i guess?#idk this is so stupid #genuinely though i would take any change right now #it’s like wow autistic fear of change and like yeah i feel ya there but also if things don’t change soon im actually gonna need to be #committed #barely getting through the day #i’m just doing everything on autopilot and i don’t feel anything but completely numb #oh i guess i do feel something: exhausted #then i feel hyper and jumpy and am practically climbing the walls #manic depression is literally soooo much fun!!#can you tell i’m being sarcastic because if i don’t joke i actually want to do something drastic #really feel the urge to isolate myself from all my friends and family #like i’m *this* fucking close to just vanishing off the face of the earth #i wanna walk into the woods and never come back #bye all i’m gonna go become a deer let’s pray i get run over 🙏✌🏻😂

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nocherryblood · 4 months

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Does anyone else ever unmask in private, then guilt themselves for, according to your brain, being "too extreme" with how you act when you're alone? Basically getting imposter syndrome for something you're already professionally diagnosed with because you did the thing that the professional said would help you feel less stressed?

#let's talk autie #thinking about making a tag for autism specific stuff #like i go into a room alone and my ocdtics start up and i start shouting random sentences and jerking my neck #genuinely have neck problems for life because of how bad it gets. it takes so much willpower not to do the little movements.#but then i feel guilty for doing it in the first place because i feel like im making myself pretend to tic even though the urge is screaming #and my arms and limbs start flailing about and i get all excited and run around and jump and then...#i feel guilty for doing it because i feel like im “appropriating other autistics”#but IM AUTISTIC TOO SO HOW DOES THAT MAKE SENSE #but also if i dont let myself do it i feel like i want to scream and my limbs are twitching because they need to move to run to sing to--#it just gets to be a lot sometimes yknow?

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depresseddepot · 1 year

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Holy ahit holy shit I am losing my fucking mind

#spoilers #the glory spoilers #I WAS JUST ABT TO MAKE A POST LIKE ''oh shit yeo jeong's dad (grandpa?) was murdered and now HE agreed to murder''#but then there was the running scene so my post changed to ''shit yeo jeong is hot''#BUT THEN THERE WAS THE KNIFE SCENE??????#THE SLOW PAN FROM SWEET SILLY DOCTOR WITH HIS COLLECTION OF SCALPELS #TO HUNTING AND GUTTING KNIVES WITH EQUALLY AS SOFT A HAND #HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS AUGXGXHAJHAHSHSS #i was wondering what his ''unfinished business'' but holy god #HI IM LIVEBLOGGING AS HE DAYDREAMS KILLING THE MAN THAT KILLED HIS DAD (grandpa?) AND IM LOSING IT #GOD THIS SHOW IS SOOO FUCKED UP AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH #go baby go baby go #god. GODDDD I CAN'T STAND IT #WE THOUGHT HE WAS SWEET AND CUTE THIS WHOLE TIME #god no wonder he was like ''your bullies did this to you? damn. which one should i kill first''#OHHHHH THIS IS SO UNHEALTHY GZHAIKANSBSHAHJAS #also #moon ''i don't feel anything bc it distracts me from my goal'' dong eun: no i don't want the unmatched button removed from my coat #also also yeo jeong offering a form of communication between them that doesn't involve actually speaking is my autistic dream #edit AGAIN: god he's such a subtle sort of crazy. i assume dong eun left the resume bc she wanted him to give the nurse a job #but like. HE doesn't know if its to help her or to keep the nurse close so he can eventually kill her #and the sweet little smile he gave her when he told her he was excited to be working with her #HAVSHJXJAMANBAA I NEED AN EMOJI THAT'S FOAMING AT THE MOUTH #GIRL THE ''you weren't able to fix me after all'' AS HIS EYES TURN 100% EMPTY AND DEAD. THERE IS NOTHING BUT HATRED IN THERE #ohhhhhhhhhhh LORD HELP ME

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queer-crusader · 11 months

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Nothing brings me closer to the edge of "huh maybe I do have a touch of the autism" than shopping

#anne speaks #as in i fucking DESPISE it unless it's specifically catered to me #i need to be warned about it in advance. i need to know what time we're going. ideally i need to know what time we're done #i have to mentally prepare myself and dedicate a specific amount of energy for the act in advance #and so help me gods if i bring my mum i will full on rage quit within two hours #she's one for 'oh this piece of clothing might be good for you' then holds up the least me thing in the world #or goes all 'uhh i dont know...' concerned if it either shows too much cleavage or is not neat and feminine enough #and then on top of that is like #okay but that costs money so how about we go to an extra store that you werent prepared for to see if they have the same thing but cheaper #you CANNOT add to my mental list of what im expecting im running FAST out of my prepped energy and i WILL start snapping at u #she asked what i would like for my bday and i was like 'well okay i do wanna refresh my wardrobe a little'#she asked what im thinking of style wise but like a) how do i say mum you cant buy me clothes without me feeling like a silicon valley wife #and b) how do i say 'i want butch i want gender i want playful i miss my theatre days i want artist i want boho'#anyway. i have now been convinced to go shopping with my sister who is a lot more tolerable bc she's young and hip and less scared to play #but im still like 'okay what time? okay give me a second to think if i want to go? i need to mentally adjust'#and my mum kept saying 'oh you can go then and after youll come back together' THATS NOT A TIME MOTHER #i need to know! when im going!! so i know how much time i have to mentally prepare #anyway. this is my essay on why shopping makes me autistic #there is Very Little that does this to me. usually i embrace chaos #but oh man. yeah no thanks #anyway fingers crossed everyone that i come back from town looking artsy and gender

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dragons-and-yellow-roses · 2 years

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Tonight I'm going to try to go to a trans and nonbinary support group, tomorrow I'm going to go to an open mic night, gonna try to make some friends, plant some roots, shit like that. Wish me luck?

#inread a post awhile ago where someone was wondering how to make friends as an adult #and someone reaponded 'consistently show up to things' so im trying that #gonna show up to places. trans and nb support group tonight. im anxious but hella excited. ive always wanted more trans friends #or just to know trans people in general #im looking forward to at least meetinf some people. hoping friends will come out of it #and there's this place near me that i love #every week they host an open stage and open art studio night #basically just show up and be creative or just vibe and watch people perform at the open mic #im excited for that too. i went there once for a concert to support an organization that supports autistic people and their families #that was amazing #and the other night they hosted a storyteller concert for a local band that i love #its super queer friendly and it feels like home tbh #im a musical and artsy person. im nb. im goping to find some people that share those interests #both of those places are also very queer friendly #places where i can be out. at work im not out so i have to pretend to be cis and it sucks #i want a place where i can be openly me #i have the anxiety whoch makes it hard to show up to new places but i think I can do it. im going to do it #the part of thos city i live in is super artsy and musical and it makes me soooo happy #i get bored of places easily and frequently want to run away #but i can see myself living here for years. i want to #yall don't understand how serious that is for me. its hitting me now #i have a coffee shop that i go to all pf the time. theres a band that plays at a good restaurant on Thursdays so my gf and i go there #and then of course the support group and artsy place #idk man im having a good time here #ive been getting emails about this support geoup for months. i was a lot braver when i signed up for the mailing list lol #and it says the topic for this week is funny stories related to our transness. i feel like thats a good topic to start with #i cant think of any funny stories related to my transness tho? idk my journey hasnt been super funny #im brainstorming while at work but maybe ill get inspiration from other people sharing their stories. or maybe ill just stay quiet today #idk. im getting more and more anxious as time draws nearer but i really want to go. im going to make myself #no reason to be anxious. its one hour surrounded by other trans people telling funny stories. i got this

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timegears-moved · 2 years

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#im gonna (hopefully) sleep now but #i think it might be time to see someone about my pain #my back feels like it's crumbling in on itself and the pain is running down both of my legs #normally i can put on a brave face as long as i can rest up but im in bed rn and just want to cry from this #im still so scared abt seeing a doctor for it though. im so scared about having it be reduced to my weight #and like. maybe my weight is affecting it. i will accept that as a possibility if everything else is ruled out #but i'm literally backed into a corner because i cant lose weight #there's like actually diagnosed reasons why i cant but also like #i can't do too much physical activity without it incapacitating me for days after #and having a varied and healthy diet isn't an option when you're autistic and very sensitive to the smell taste and texture of food #and i also have a very troubled relationship with food and/or possibily an eating disorder if im tbh #hhhhhh sorry for venting suddenly i just feel so trapped because i need help but nobody wants to help #im with a new gp now so im praying that they'll take me seriously but ive had too many bad encounters to really be hopefully at this point #ed mention #pr0ana dni btw this is just for ppl who need eating disorders tagged

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indigodawns · 1 year

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#yoongi's suchwita ep with hoshi was sosososososo lovely 😭😭😭#ive only seen hoshi in the hybe games thing before but i love him now #and yoongi going into sunbae mode the whole time sososo sweet #also got to me with the talk of enlistment and time running out #i feel the latter with the end of my degree nearing and having no clue what i want etc #and then with bts just... i missed so much. i missed their whole journey to where they are now and :(#it's gonna be all different after this. i would've loved to get to watch them live at mama etc more often and with other groups #but i am glad that they seem to be in a much better place now. that's Good. it must've been so hard to be there pre-2020 #2020 etc were already hard seeing how much rough it was for them #anyways. just wanted to see if anyone feels the same and to put it out there #feeling tired and always younger than i am and re-trying to figure out who i am #also feeling 200% more autistic lately which in turns feels like im pretending but yk #anyways. this is all meant to read /lightheartedly etc it's alright im doing quite okay #and also i love yoongi. would love to have suchwita talk with him #also wanna ask him about what he's said about having ocd and adhd and depression and anxiety #going for bingo like me <3

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