#everything they needed and more. they did not grow up in poverty
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When the Corroded Coffin makes it, Eddie leans into the success completely. He can't really help it, he never thought he'd make it anywhere, wouldn't even have a moderately comfortable life and now he's here, people love him, want him, think he's worth their time. It's intoxicating and he feels like if he slows down for just a second, he'll lose it all.
Steve is supportive, of course he is. It's everything Eddie's ever wanted, success in the world and the most amazing person at home, loving him unconditionally. But Eddie grows more and more frantic about his work, tours, everything. He loves Steve so much, he talks about him in awards ceremonies, in interviews and credits him as his forever muse that he maybe forgets a little that random people who he'll never meet hear more about his love for his boyfriend than Steve himself.
Maybe if he took a moment to think, Eddie would have remembered that Steve was left alone for most of his teenage years, that the love he had was real but distant. That this love always stopped him from asking for more, asking for time spent together, for actions, not words. But he didn't.
After many dinners wrapped in cellophane and tossed in the fridge, postponed dates, hurried goodbye kisses and whispered promises over the phone that never come true, it happens. Steve doesn't blame him, doesn't scream or snap, but Eddie would have preferred if he did. He just calmly tells him that he loves him, will always love Eddie and he can't imagine there being anyone else, but he finally realized that while he's happy for Eddie, he can't live through someone else's dream. He needs, wants more than another empty house and waiting, so much waiting. He kisses Eddie goodbye and whispers, "I'm so happy you managed to break your cycle, Eddie. The crime, poverty...I'm so proud of you. But now I need to break my own."
---
As Steve fully settles in his own apartment almost a year later, heart aching but finally not paralyzed, he turns on the radio and hears a familiar voice, like the sweetest pain. He sings a new song, one that Steve doesn't know.
I painted your room at midnight
So I'd know yesterday was over
I put all your books on the top shelf
Even the one with the four leaf clover
Man, I'm getting older
I took all your pictures off the wall
And wrapped them in a newspaper blanket
I haven't slept in what seems like a century
And now I can barely breathe
Just like a crow chasing the butterfly
Dandelions lost in the summer sky
When you and I were getting high as outer space
I never thought you'd slip away
I guess I was just a little too late
Your words still serenade me
Your lullabies won't let me sleep
I've never heard such a haunting melody
Oh, it's killing me
You know I can barely breathe
Just like a crow chasing the butterfly
Dandelions lost in the summer sky
When you and I were getting high as outer space
I never thought you'd slip away
I guess I was just a little too late
The last soft tones finish and Steve takes a deep breath, shaky and uncertain. He loves his new life, loves what he's doing, studying to save lives, and yet...
It's almost funny. They broke up a year ago, yet Eddie never left him behind. There was no pressure to get back together, no unwanted declarations of love, just...showing. Steve told Eddie that he needed actions, not words, and here he was, for a year, giving Steve the space he needed but always checking in, always making sure Steve was okay.
Eddie's words were his actions and Steve finally understands how to break his own cycle. Being alone doesn't mean he's lonely. Not when Eddie's thoughts never leave him.
Not when he remembers the four leaf clover he scribbled into his textbook.
When he says he always thinks of Steve when seeing dandelions, so bright and comforting, like home.
The nights they spent together, drunk on each other's presence.
And the melody Steve always hummed when he got out of shower.
He reaches for his phone, their careful messages blinking at him, making him wonder how this love can feel so distant yet so real.
I hope your classes are going well, Stevie.
Wayne says hi. He says he'll call you next Tuesday.
I hope you found what you were looking for.
I hope you're happy.
I'm thinking about you, always.
He types something cheesy and ridiculous, but he can't help himself. He just feels loved, seen.
What if I told you that you aren't too late, crow?
His phone dings back almost immediately and he smiles.
#steddie#steddie drabble#steddie songfic#steve harrington#eddie munson#steddie song rec#stranger things#stranger things drabble
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If you don't mind me can I request male reader who like Akaza from Demon slayer with the Hazbin Hotel.
Bonus: respect woman.
Hello! Normally i would Say no bc My Requests are Closed but you're lucky that i'm in a good mood to write and also i am a fan of this Man✨ 😭
Thanks for the Request ❤️
(to the other Readers, don't take this as something usual, the Requests are still Closed, i'm just in the mood to write THIS for now)
Akaza! Reader in Hazbin Hotel
Genre: headcanons
Reader: male
Warnings: Reader is a fighter, violence(?), hell, slight change in Akaza story so its not a Copy-paste and make "more sense",idk, I MAKE THIS IN A RUSH OF ✨INSPIRATION✨SO ITS NOT PROFFHEAD!!
You were born and raised in the Edo era, in Japan. and it was a nightmare.
You lived in poverty all your life, practically alone with your sick father who could barely take care of himself, but he always tried to take care of you above all else.
You spent a lot of your life trying to take care of him back, but it was difficult because of money, you couldn't afford it. so you did the only thing you could think of: steal medicine.
Obviously many times this didn't turn out well, and they ended up catching you and taking you to be beaten and tattooed like a criminal, but it was the kind of life you led until your father died.
That was when you hit rock bottom, but you met certain people who helped you move forward. a martial arts master and his sick daughter (who reminded you a lot of your father).
And it was the time when you lived better, you took care of your teacher's daughter and you learned from him, you had a good life.
you and his daughter even fell in love!
everything had fallen into place in your life...
until conflicts broke out again.
You don't remember much about your last days of life, it was a cycle of going, killing whoever got in your way, returning with whatever you wanted from your group, and whatever followed...
You just wanted to go home.
but you died before that.
and just as you expected, after everything you had done wrong in your life, you ended up in hell.
It wasn't exactly like the hell you had imagined growing up, but it was definitely difficult to adjust, knowing that you were dead, in this hole of misery, far from them...
but you didn't waste your time. You discovered quite quickly that several of your physical abilities had stayed with you, so you took advantage of them and became a quite formidable demon.
You wouldn't say you were an Overlord, but you were definitely an anomaly to Hell's QUO status, a demon who had become powerful without the need for owning souls.
something very strange.
so many Overlords, feeling threatened, tried to go after you, only to never be seen again...
As for the Hotel issue, I think that Akaza! reader would be skeptical, I don't think he would have a problem offering himself as a test subject for the hotel because 1- there is Alastor, someone very strong, and 2- he has a small hope that the hotel will work and maybe, just maybe he can redeem himself and go. to heaven with his love and his teacher, what he loves most. although he wouldn't say the last thing out loud.
Speaking of relationships, Alastor and him can actually get along in a very ambiguous way, Alastor is not happy with someone who is so strong without even having souls of their own, so he is cautious, but not in a threatening way.
Although there is something these two have in common, THEY RESPECT WOMEN.
Alastor can definitely introduce him to Akaza! read several of his female friends to be more "social" and get possible blackmail material.
Alastor secretly knows of the possible motives behind why Akaza! Reader would like the hotel to work, he thinks he is naive, but he doesn't make fun, Alastor partly understands why he feels that way. leaves him alone in that sense.
...but it bothers him in every other way! using it as an armrest, innocuous phrases, crushing it with things out of nowhere, etc. He always has something up his sleeve to piss him off.
but they can ally if women get involved ;)
Charlie is so so so so so happy to have Akaza! reader as another participant alongside Angel and Sir Pentious! She constantly thanks him for his collaboration and tells him how much it means to her.
Lots of encouragement during the trust exercises! she realizes that Akaza! Reader is not very talkative, and although he does not force him to change, he "subtly" encourages him to be more open with the exercises.
Although that does not mean that she admits the fights, she tries to encourage Akaza! reader to find another way to get out his anger and energy in less destructive ways.
I think I would be the only one who knows through Akaza! reader why he wants the hotel to work, and she is SO MOVED by him because Reader wants to redeem himself and that gives him a lot of motivation to do more exercises.
Aunaue is also sometimes a double-edged sword because she feels pressured not only by wanting to help her friends, but also by Akaza's cute motive! reader.
Akaza! reader is very protective of Charlie even if she is the princess of hell, he is like a bodyguard! or a very loyal pitbull. Charlie finds it endearing (but please don't rip that demon's head off please---)
Vaggie is scared of Akaza at first! reader for his aggressive nature.
She is afraid that he will end up directing that destructive energy towards them if he is very angry, so she is very cautious at first.
but eventually she can relax more and more with him as she realizes that (at least with women) he's not going to explode on anyone who doesn't deserve it. and that in fact he is a good man.
sparring together! Vaggie feels kind of bad that he doesn't have a gun, but is surprised at how tough he is.
If she finds out his reason behind going to the hotel, she supports him a lot in his journey of redemption, more than before, she empathizes with him.
They both have similar motives.
Vaggie really appreciates when Akaza! reader defends the female staff against Angel's out-of-place comments. she may even allow him to hit him.
You two are the main people in charge of protecting the hotel.
Let's be honest, Angel dust at first was just "flirting"/sexually harassing Akaza! reader until he beat him up and never did it again.
He thought he was simply bitter about life until he remembered that on one occasion he told him that "he was taken" and he didn't take it so personally.
After the duet with Husk, he went directly to apologize to him and they were on bad terms.
Angel occasionally likes to prank him like everyone else in the hotel, but he's considerably less annoying with Akaza! reader because he knows what he is capable of.
When he eventually finds out why he is "taken" and why someone like him is in the hotel, he can't help but empathize with him a lot (from his sister in heaven), and tries to be his "Husk" at his lowest moment. .
Even if technically Akaza!reader is stronger than him in every way, he takes care of him in his own way, watching his drink, not being robbed, etc.
Angel is definitely not used to so much respect when it comes to his gender identity, which is why he respects Akaza a lot! reader.
They generally start off on the wrong foot but manage to be friends.
Husk likes Akaza! reader, simply because it gets on Alastor's nerves and because he knows that he won't kick the ass of someone who doesn't deserve it. He knows everyone is safe with him.
He definitely knows about his reason for being in the hotel and pities him, respects his privacy a lot after that and doesn't let him talk drunk.
Husk may get to have his "loser baby" moment with Akaza! reader but in a platonic way, helping him when it is especially difficult to stay away from violence.
They can even have a father-son relationship, Husk is very similar to Akaza's teacher! reader in many ways EMOTIONALLY SPEAKING so Akaza! reader feels comfortable with him.
she definitely tells him things about her past as Overlord to entertain him.
Sir Pentious at first was TERRIFIED of Akaza!reader, his reputation was as a tough guy who went after evil people and Pentious (having his poor self-image) thought he would kill him as soon as he saw him.
but fortunately it was not like that!
but he was definitely avoiding it for DAYS before he heard from the others that Akaza!reader wasn't that bad and was actually quite nice. to give him a chance.
and Pentious did just that. and he was VERY surprised.
Akaza! reader has had to dismantle several of Sir Pentious's evil machines using his enormous strength, and although Pentious was heartbroken to see his machines destroyed, he was also VERY surprised by Akaza!reader's capabilities, even giving me more things to do. break and test their strength (imagine this pair getting to know the Rage Rooms).
Pentious Minnions occasionally go to Akaza! reader when P. is not there, which is fun to see because Akaza!reader would try to get away from the Minions that come after him like ducks.
Akaza! reader clearly notices Pentious's crush on Cherri, and encourages him to do something now that he has time.
(Can you imagine Akaza! reader's Koyuki becoming friends with Pentious in heaven? It would be Epico).
Mononeuronal pair.
Niffty is strange.
but I can definitely see Akaza! reader protecting it constantly. so Niffty likes him. But I wouldn't really say they are friends.
In general, everyone has some kind of respect for Akaza! reader. They hope you can reach your goal.
Shares, reglogs and comments are very welcome!
Again, this DOES NOT MEAN that orders are open again! I'm just taking a break and deciding what things to write and what not to. thanks for the request ✨❤️
#headcanons#male reader#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin husk#hazbin hotel charlie#hotel hazbin#hazbin hotel#hazbin alastor#hazbin angel dust#hazbin hotel vaggie#hazbin hotel sir pentious#kny akaza
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You know if even Francie is saying it I'm starting to think old Jim Mac may have been slightly abusive, I don't think that's the right word since what happened it was a different time and place etc. But with the way he treated Paul and Mike, especially after Mary's passing and how he expected so much more when his son was one of the most famous musicians in the world, it's just - his whole family to he fair it's like they never really saw him as human and more akin to a musical monkey
Yeah I would actually call it abuse. I think Jim probably had mostly good intentions and genuinely loved his sons, but that doesn't mean his treatment of them was just or didn't have any affect on them. By my definitions, there's emotional as well as physical abuse going on (Paul was expected and pressured from the time they started to realize how intelligent he was to grow up and save his entire family from poverty; Appearances were everything and emotional needs suppressed; There was no financial security; After Mary's death, Paul was extremely patentified, depended on emotionally and materially by the person who was simultaneously physically abusing him)
About the normalization of the physical abuse specifically for a minute, if it was so normal for the time, why is Paul the only one of the four Beatles to have experienced it? My family has always been working class, and my grandparents who are Paul's age were not subjected to the violence that Paul was. Not saying it wasn't more common then and more accepted, but it's also not something you can just pass off as "that's what everyone did in those days".
Also, I wouldn't be surprised at all if even in that one interview where Paul specifically talked about how he got Jim to stop hitting him, he was downplaying. That's what Paul does. We have no way of knowing. But it does fit with Paul's usual story-telling and framing of events that maybe it was more than what he said.
And yeah, the financial abuse started early and clearly continued far into adulthood, maybe up until Jim's death when Paul cut Angie and Ruth off for selling his birth certificate. Paul was trained as a door-to-door salesman for Jim's club as a nine year old in the literal projects. He figured out how to snatch other people's lunch tickets out of the fire at the inny and pass them off as unused. What are we going to do without her money? He first saw John when he was a paper boy and John was buying chips. As soon as the band started making money, he became the head provider of his family (Jim made 10 pounds a week at the cotton brokers while Paul made 15 a week in Hamburg) and when the band wasn't making money, he found whatever work he could to make up for it. Meanwhile, we have no reason to believe Jim wasn't gambling insatiably. As the child of an addict, I know addictions don't just go away and then resurface when they're affordable again, and Jim was certainly an addict. He gambled so much Paul had to buy his house back for him (that he'd bought for him in the first place while Paul himself was living in an attic room like some kind of starving artist at the same time as the rest of the band was buying their mansions).
Paul clearly loved his dad so much and craved Jim's approval, trying to find a girl Jim would approve of after Jane, trying to be a good family man, trying to stay close to his working class roots. You can even see it in his music, from When I'm 64 to A Walk in the Park with Eloise. (I think the 1920s & 30s influence in much of his music came from him genuinely loving it and also from a desire for his dad to appreciate his talent). But he also had no patience for Jim's frailty toward the end, didn't go to the funeral, and didn't write about Jim's death in MYFN.
I really don't know too much about the extended family, anon, but it does seem the case that part of Paul's role in it, from the beginning, was to be a savior and a cash cow, and no one considered his humanity.
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ASTROLOGY OBSERVATION [Chapter 5] ✨ - The South Node Version
Libra South Node = The urges to seek justice in this world forever.
Also i always see how Libra South Node move from one pain to another pain. They keep picking the decision that require them to hurt themselves.
Leo South Node need to burst their own bubble. They tend to live with all the privileges but doesn't realize what does their privilege means. I need to say that they have no play time in this world because they used to play so much in their past life. Remember, privilege = power.
I swear the Leo South Node is the most problematic south node ever. Because often, Leo South Node people has tendency to BLOCK other people's growth and development for the sake of themselves.
Also, the amount of too-kind parents that have Leo South Node people like, Leo South Node people will act crazy and their parents always "giving them the second chance because we are family".
Gemini South Node. Please. No matter how desperate are you, DON'T. BROKE. THE. RULES. You can outsmart it but you can't broke it. Law (Sagittarius) will beat your ass down if you misbehaving.
Gemini South Node and thinking "There's nothing i could think of this anymore" and running around from things they need to face.
Cancer South Node and the tendency to keep yourself in the shell. Remember, the more you put your shell on, the more universe break it until it hurt you.
Also the crab mentality of Cancer South Node is unbeatable. It's "If i can't get it NOBODY CAN"
Taurus South Node has the tendency to work around the love they try to earn. How about realizing that it's not what you earn and more about what you get?
Whenever Taurus South Node people thinks they need money, it's somehow always "I need more money to be STACKED" not "I need because i have none."
Taurus South Node and the urge to keep budgeting shit to the pennies. They are like, "No, i have money but not for drinking. This is the food money, this is the laundry money, this is for the coccaine, skincare, etc" like DANG WHY YOU ARE SO PARALYZED BABE?
Aquarius South Node experience a time when they are burdened by the responsibility and the duty. Many people claims that Aquarius south node are detached and cold. But it just their coping mechanism so they could keep going and not breaking down 😭
Aquarius South Node people and being the forever kid in their adult. They gonna be like "Okay, i'm adult now so i will BUY ANYTHING that i want in my childhood and i would do EVERYTHING that i want to do as a child."
Capricorn South Node HATES working hard. THEY HATE IT. Stop assuming they love what they did. THEY DON'T. THEY FEEL TORTURED. THEY ARE SO TIRED ALL THE TIME.
Also, i had no idea why Capricorn South Node ladies are always the alpha one in relationship??? They'd be all damn intimidating and would let the people take the control of relationship.
Pisces South Node, why did y'all love to be a troublemaker? I mean. Sometimes i found this placement feel like they creating a problem when they are bored or lonely.
Pisces South Node also have several addiction that prevent them to grow up as healthy person. This has to do with longing things that too good to be true.
Aries south node and the urge to fight all the people that wronged you in the past 😭
Aries south node and the rushed feeling that boils the blood. They feel their own bloodrush when they got angry so they need to be careful to pick the food for the sake of their own health.
It's the Sagittarius South Node that have the "I am BETTER than thou" behaviour.
Sagittarius South Node need to understand that diversity and the dynamics of community. What you think of truth doesn't work as truth to other people because social conditioning, privilege and poverty.
Scorpio South Node and the "It's all or nothing" mentality. How about acceptance for the sake of your dignity?
Also, i had no idea why Scorpio South Node people are SO CUTE and adorable? Like ... They are so LOVABLE.
Virgo south node and the family pressure of having WORK.
"I am the unpaid maid of my family" and proceeds to poison the whole house is a typical Virgo South Node villain story jk.
#south node#astrology#astrology observation#astrology note#astro notes#astro note#aries south node#taurus south node#gemini south node#cancer south node#leo south node#virgo south node#libra south node#scorpio south node#sagittarius south node#capricorn south node#aquarius south node#pisces south node
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'Miss Me?⋆｡°✩
E42!Prowler Morales x ProwlerFan!BlackFem!Reader
Ingredients: Sugar, kisses, n a lil bit of salt
Tws: Cussing, brief abandonment, n thas it
W/C: 2.4k
A/N: GWENPOOL CODED READER RAAAAAAAAGHHHH
Something was wrong.
really wrong.
for the past 2 years, you’ve been following in the footsteps of New York's infamous “prowler”. He served as a symbol of fear and terror in the eyes of the public, murdering dozens and destroying whatever he could get his hands on. But to those who paid any actual attention, it was clear that there was a specific pattern to his actions that never really harmed the innocent. He took down massive corporations and spilled the blood of corrupt figures who profited off of New York's state of constant chaos and poverty. You loved to watch him run just above your reach, dodging and weaving between buildings as he chased after something like prey.
So what did you do? You decided to grow your own identity when you were 15, making your robotic pink and white suit within the cold walls of your school's long abandoned attic. You began imitating the Prowler, managing to make quite a bit of noise in terms of your presence as a ‘new villain’ within Brooklyn. Your ultimate goal was to make as much noise and garner as much attention as your beloved ‘hero’ to grab his attention. So when you were fighting off a group of businessmen in the back alley of a dark building, you stopped everything when you saw the familiar suit drop down from above and join your fight.
He said nothing, fighting in absolute silence as he helped you destabilize the last of the people you were currently combating. He gave them a rather lethal-sounding kick to the head, making sure they were all out before looking up at you and turning his head to the side. You struggled to keep your composure as the white slits on his mask narrowed and he walked closer to you, circling you slowly as he examined your shiny suit. “Oh my gosh-! Hi! This is crazy I literally love you!” You exclaimed, your voice sounding like a staticky and distorted radio. He finally looked back at your face after analyzing your suit.
“Are those my claws?” He asked, grabbing your wrist and examining the refined metal claws on your hands that were definitely inspired by him. “Yes! My gear is totally inspired by you!” You cheered, eagerly rocking your arms back and forth to refrain from trying to hug him. He hummed briefly before walking away to wherever it was he was going, disappearing without a trace. You didn’t wanna be annoying, so you waved bye watching as he seemingly jumped up a building and quickly disappeared into the shadows. You thought that would be the last interaction you’d have with him as you sped home with a smile on your face, praying to whatever god was listening that you’d be able to talk to him next time.
And DAMN, were them gods listening.
You began to see him pop up slightly more on your missions, watching as he silently helped you with your tasks, gave your suit a good look, and then left again. This became a routine for about 3 months, watching him come and go like a thief in the night. You always said your brief hello, hey, or hi to always get an upward nod or a small thumbs up. But that never stopped you from fangirling when you got home or complimenting his skills or suit. You were currently brutalizing and abusing some CEO of a big corp, kicking and kneeing him in the stomach for info regarding the exploitation of his employees when you felt a familiar presence behind you.
“Hey! Here to help me again?” You asked, throwing a sharp punch to the man’s skull before dropping him on the floor. You turn around to face the Prowler immediately, tiny hearts popping up on your holographic mask that indicate your joy as he only shakes his head. “I need you on a mission with me” he mutters, attaching a small disk-looking circle to the side of your helmet. “Wait wait really! YES! LETS FUCKING GO! Okay okay, wait.” You exclaimed, turning back to face the man you left on the floor and tying him up with a spare electrical cord you found. “Okay let’s go! I’m so excited!” You exclaim, wrapping your arms tightly around the taller boy's torso automatically.
Of course, Miles wasn’t really big on physical touch. But he let you hang around for about 3 seconds before prying you off with a tiny smile. “Aight that’s enough, c’mon. Your suit got boosters?” He asked as he prepared to dart forward out of a window. “Yours has boosters? Is that how jump so high?” You asked, earning a small sigh of irritation from Miles. He backed out of the window, swung you over his shoulder, and held on to your back tightly to make sure you wouldn't slip and splat on the concrete below. You let out a small yelp of fear as he darted out the window at seemingly impossible speeds, wind whistling in your ears as Miles's voice rang clearly through your helmet.
"The disk I put on your mask will let you hear me when I'm gone. Vice versa. I need you to knock out anyone in the control room n turn off the cameras while I reach the person we're looking for. I'll come get you when I'm done. DON'T leave the room" he instructed as you tried your best not to audibly swoon over his unfiltered voice. His tone was smooth and silky like honey, his accent sticking to his words like glue as he firmly told you exactly what to do when you arrived at your destination. Your stomach pooled with butterflies as you responded with a small "got it. By the way, your voice is really cute." There was a small huff and a low chuckle before Miles gently patted your back with his cold claw, muttering a small "thank you" that went straight through your eardrums and right to your rapidly increasing heartbeat.
And ever since that mission, you grew closer and closer. He cleaned up after all your crimes, picking up and destroying any clues you'd left behind, and keeping some as keepsakes. He'd never tell you that though, finding himself fidgeting with your purple heart-shaped sunglasses he found cleaning up another one of your messy missions. Nine months later and there you were sitting on top of a skyscraper, knees swinging back and forth childishly as you admired the lights that looked like fireflies from up so high. "Hola, Mamita. You shouldn't sit on the ledge like that. Don't know what I'd do if my favorite sidekick fell to her death" He taunted as he sat next to you, gently pulling you closer to him. "Harr-de-harr. I'm not your sidekick. You can be my crime husband though!" you exclaimed, turning your head to look at Miles as you bonked your mask with his.
He giggled at your statement, sounding genuinely joyful and flattered for a change before turning to face you again. "Yeah, aight. Fuck a crime wife, you just my wife," he stated, wrapping his arm around your shoulder and swinging your knee over his. You were thankful that he couldn't see your face, otherwise, he would've seen how your jaw dropped as you leaned your head against his shoulder. He took off one of the heavy-duty purple straps attached to his suit, gently clipping it onto your pretty pink tactile belt. He scooped you up without so much as a word, safely hauling the both of you down from the top of the skyscraper and placing you safely on your feet. "Aight, I gotta go Mamas. Keep that f'me, yeah?" He called as he quickly disappeared into the shadows again.
But that was the last time you saw him.
You carried on with your missions like usual, going 5 in a row without seeing your 'husband' or him saying some random shit in your ear. There was no "keep safe. Cops are on you" or him scolding you for being 'irresponsible' regarding your share of crime. You began to get worried, risking your life by going out fully suited when you had no reason to be, running and jumping around Brooklyn in search of your Prowler while his name slowly faded from the news. You even began to think that he got himself killed fucking around with the wrong target one day. You were scared, and you missed your 'man'.
For two whole years, you went to school every morning wondering when you'd see your beloved Prowler again. The anonymous boy you'd once fangirl over like some sick and twisted Justin Beiber suddenly faded from the face of the earth. You spoke in your mask now and again, attempting to get some type of response as you grieved the sudden disappearance of your first love. You continued as a nameless vigilante, earning a massive amount of fame and even 'replacing' the Prowler as his name withered from headlines. You quickly grew stronger, learning to clean up your mess, and became more violent when it came to dealing with criminals and small-time offenders.
The days melted together as you lost track of time, drowning yourself in your academic career and constant suit updates to take your mind off the pain in your heart. You practically sped down the highway with your newly installed 'Wheels' to your wide, chunky, metal boots. Your Purple strap flailed in the air as you darted off after an all-black tinted car, containing what was supposed to be your final victim with your identity as the infamous 'Pink Prowler'. You blasted forward with your boosters, digging a claw into the back of the black trunk and clawing your way up the car, breaking the glass windshield and pulling out a rather young-looking white guy. The car crashed abruptly, allowing you to leap to the side and get a look at the guy you were about to ask a couple of questions before you robbed him of his life.
There was a sudden static noise filling your helmet, groaning in irritation as you put your foot on the man's chest and fidgeted with the side of your mask. There was a loud thud, and the car burst into flames as a figure stood behind you…but you weren't really afraid as you slowly turned around to face the new stranger. And there he was, only taller and with longer braids as those familiar white eyes stared down at you. You quickly stomped down on the man's chest, hearing a sickening crunch and a blood-curdling scream as you turned to face your 'husband'. Everything rushed back to you like runoff as you took in his form, obsessing over every new muscle and scar as he slowly relaxed as soon as he saw you and your…new suit.
Despite the overwhelming joy and love you felt for the boy in front of you, rage built in your body as you attempted to throw punches at him, with Miles grabbing your metal-clad hands like it was nothing. "Where have you BEEN? I fucking missed you, I thought you died or some shit!" You shouted, attempting to wiggle your wrists out of his hold as he gave you a slight 'sympathetic' nod. He clicked his tongue at you disapprovingly, inching closer towards you as he pulled you into a tight hug. Part of you swore you could feel the regret pooling from his aura, but that was quickly disregarded when you heard him sigh deeply as he rested his chin on your head. "Lo siento, mi muñequita…I never meant to leave you," he muttered, patting the small of your back, allowing you to berate him as much as you wanted for abandoning you.
"I know, I know. Pero ahora esto aqui. Te extrañé, Mamita" He cooed as he gently rocked you back and forth, paying no attention to the man struggling to breathe in the grass. "That's definitely not something I taught you," He murmured, turning his head towards the stranger coughing and wheezing due to his broken ribs. "I saw you on the news every day, Muñequita. 'M sorry for disappearing on you, they was on my ass with a watch party for a couple of years. Wanna know why? Cuz I cleaned up one of YOUR messes" he sniggered, picking you up and resting you over his shoulder as he threw the man in a nearby river. You relaxed in his hold, quickly gasping when you realized that he had murdered your only source of intel. "I was supposed to question that motherfucker, puto!"
"You finally learn Spanish and it's to cuss me out? I thought you loved me…" He joked, giving you a firm squeeze to the small sliver of flesh visible on your suit, located right on your left thigh. You huffed, much to his amusement as he began walking back in the direction of the city. "I'm still mad that you left me like that. How do you abandon your work wife?" You asked, rolling your eyes underneath your mask as you struggled to keep up the 'annoyed' act. You knew you couldn't stay mad at him, and you had a feeling he knew it too. "For the last time, you're not my work-wife. You're just my wife" he stated.
You giggled quietly as you began kicking your feet back and forth slightly. "You don't even mean that for real" you muttered as you mindlessly played with his braids. Miles chuckled to himself, shaking his head in disbelief as he adjusted his arm over your back. "Oye, detente antes de que te haga. Solo di que me extrañaste" He sniggered. "In English, please?" You whined as you attempted to grab Miles's hand.
"Missed me?" He asked as he flipped you around so you could see in front of you. "Maybe…" You whispered. Miles gave a low hum, nodding his head when he got the answer he was looking for. There were about five minutes of comfortable silence as you heard his footsteps against the coarse gravel, finally feeling at peace now that you had your husband back from wherever he was. You giggled to yourself, earning a small "Hmm?" from Miles as you thought of a potentially dumb question.
"You should propose to me"
"You want me to propose to you? Aight, I gotchu mamas. Ima get you a real pretty purple ring, okay? But you gon have to fix that suit, I can't tell I inspired it no more. Need these niggas to know you my wife and sidekick"
"boy bye."
#atsv#across the spiderverse#into the spiderverse#miles morales#miles morales x reader#earth 42 miles x reader#earth 42 miles#e42 miles#E42 Miles x Black!Reader#prowler miles#miles morales prowler#earth 42 prowler#prowler x reader#the prowler#into the spider verse#atsv prowler
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Honestly I would love a Jason Todd comic that focused on confronting his world view, like yes it's easy to put a bullet through the head of every criminal but, the world isn't so black and white, sometimes criminals either have no choice/it goes deeper than that. Similar to how utrh questions Bruce's morality (nothing really came of it) I want a comic where Jason's world view is also questioned.
He really has a lot of potential but idk DC keeps fumbling. I'd like to know your thoughts on how you would handle a Jason storyline, I love your metas.
oh how i mourn the disappointing horror of everything under the red hood could have been... for both bruce and jason!
if i were to handle a jason comic, i would disregard everything ever written after under the red hood and related stories. as much as i enjoy jason joining the batfam and rebuilding bridges in fanon works, i much prefer jason becoming a permanent member of the gotham rouge gallery and staying batman's kind-of-enemy in canon.
what i think utrh was setting up was Jason Todd, Ultimate Foe of Bruce Wayne. jason is a incredibly smart and cunning character, who planned to the smallest detail in order to get his desired outcome. nothing he did was by accident. but more importantly, his unwavering and concrete code can only be rivalled by batman, and so, they will constantly be at odds. if utrh taught us anything, it is that jason and bruce are always going to be plagued by what they lost in each other, and as a result, will never find their way back to what they once were.
they will now forever exist as consequences of each other, no matter what.
by doing this to his story, jason finally has the chance to grow as his own character, independent from the batfam;
one of the biggest problems with how dc is handling jason is that they want him to be this angry, violent and unsociable person while also trying to convince everyone that he is not angry and not violent and very sociable with the batfam. this causes the disparity in his writing, either with inconsistencies or just downright character assassination.
if he was kept as gotham's anti-hero, then this gives him the freedom to find his own code that is no longer dependent on batman's overarching one. utrh jason kills indiscriminately because it's what solves the problem that batman's never been able to fix: crime. jason, who is young, and betrayed, and for all that he is intelligent, he is naive and claims he's the long term solution to batman's short term one. unfortunately, killing criminals to stop criminals from existing works until, like you said, comes a situation where the world isn't so black and white.
jason knows this, probably better than anyone. he comes from poverty and homelessness, lost his parents to drugs and sickness and violence. many of his stories as robin highlight how, unlike batman, jason is able to see people for who they are and not just their actions, offering a empathetic insight that batman, for all he is kind, can never truly grasp.
as red hood, i think a combination of the lazarus pit, his training, and his murderer, batman's seemingly disregard for him, how the world moves on while jason is stuck, has made him forget this kindness he had in him. that he still has. so we need a story where it is pulled out of him and he is forced to battle what he's always known.
i think this question of jason's morality was what zdarsky was TRYING to do with Cheer (Batman Urban Legends #1-#6), but it fell flat due to the terrible portrayal of Robin Jason. The story itself of jason killing someone and bruce reacting to it left a lot to be desired (as always). not to mention how out of all the criminals jason could've been shown to kill, having it be a dealer who is also an addict is rather... tone deaf on jason's own moral code. the killing was also not calculated or "for the greater good" and was instead a rage-filled thoughtless killing which, again, is a gross misunderstanding of jason's moral code and intelligence.
so we almost had it, a story where jason has to fight someone more stubborn than batman — himself. as a character in batman's rouge gallery, this horrifying realisation of who he shares that title with, the determination to be better not because of batman, but because jason himself has realised he can do more by doing less of what he's been doing.
i don't know if i would rule out jason killing people entirely, since it is such an integral deconstruction of who he was as robin and who he is now as red hood, but i would like to think he changes how he holds his weapons. less of "i kill because it's the only way to fix this" and more "i kill because sometimes it's the best thing i can do to fix this". a very subtle but still problematic change that isolates him from ever joining the batfam.
it might seem sort of cruel, that my ideal jason story makes him lonely and more of a villian, but i think that is the sort of tragic path his character is forced to adopt. he made this bed when he returned to gotham with retribution in his plans and hurt in his heart, and now he must lie in.
there is always the potential for him to be happy, to have his family and friends and be the sort of hero he was as a teenager — but to get there, it needs to get worse before it can get better. that's what dc failed with jason, skipping the internal turmoil and drama and harsh reality checks and skipping straight to the part where he has a family again.
plus, batman's rouge gallery teach lessons to batman. poison ivy, harley, two face, strange, riddler and (annoyingly) even the joker play crucial roles to who batman is as a hero and constantly force him to challenge his code.
jason teaches the biggest lesson of all — that batman is bruce wayne. he had the potential to be the driving force that changed bruce's character forever, because red hood is a reflection that batman created all on his own, not by being batman, but by being bruce wayne. and this fact would have given jason the chance to be more than just that.
#sorry for rambling#and for bringing it back to bruce and jason#unfortunately i am insane about them#one day we will get a writer who truly values jason#and all that he was as robin and all he can be as red hood#one day...#jason todd#bruce wayne#saki comic talks#saki anons#dc meta
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All That Glitters: Prologue
All That Glitters: Prologue
Pairing: Javy "Coyote” Machado x Reader
Summary: Growing up in the untamed wilds of the west afforded you many opportunities that most women weren't allowed, namely that of choice and self sufficiency. One day, your father announces his intention to marry you off, and you take your chance to escape, moving south to try your luck at striking gold. You arrive in the town of Maverick, setting up shop, but soon learn that life on your own is tougher than you previously thought. You catch the eye of a handsome man, but you're determined to rely on your own skills. Only, you may end up needing his help after all...
Trigger Warnings: References to living in the wild, Mentions of Indigenous tribes, Use of Y/N, Allusions to daddy issues, Poverty living, Sexism, Forced engagement, running away, Talks of gold. I think that's everything, but please let me know if I missed anything!
Word Count: 1.36k
Masterlist || DPU Masterlist
The mountains of the west are where you called home, and you knew every tree and stone like they were old friends. Or at least, that’s what it felt like to you.
The Rocky Mountains had sheltered you in their bosom from as early as you could remember, the old trees hiding you away from the rest of the world as your father worked, trapping and skinning the different animals that roamed this part of the world. He was an older man, getting well on in years, and you had no doubt he would pass on his trade to you any year now. You practically helped him run the business as it stood, a fact that you were very proud and mindful of.
It had just been you and your father for almost two decades now, your mother having taken ill when you were still young. The shadows of a kind smile and comforting song still teased the edges of your memories, but it had been so long, that you couldn’t be sure if they were real or the manifestations of hope teasing you with ideas of what it was to have a mother. You had been told by all who knew her that you were her spitting image, and to those comments you were never sure how to respond, so you didn’t.
You and your father lived in a remote cabin in what felt like the densest part of the forest. While he went out checking his many traps for new boon, you were stuck at home tending to the chores around your little fortress. Not many people came by your way, but those who did already knew where to look. Your father had friendships among the local Ute tribes, often trading with them for needed supplies. You had made tentative friendships over the course of the years, knowing that it would come in handy one day.
Now that you were older, you were trusted with more, and you prided yourself on keeping a neat home despite the surrounding wilderness. You were hanging the laundry up to dry when the sound of a horse trotting through the thicket caught your attention. Your body stiffened, ready for a potential threat, but you relaxed as you recognized the rider.
“Duncan,” you greeted easily, continuing your task. Duncan was a tall, strong man of about thirty years with strawberry blond hair, earth brown eyes, and sun-kissed skin. The scruff on his face indicated that it had been a few days since he had last shaved, and you weren’t sure if you like it.
“Y/n!” He called with a grin, his horse, Boone, barely coming to a stop at the foot of the small hill before he was dismounting. You supposed he was a handsome man, but you had known him since you were young, your fathers working together in the trade before Duncan’s father took ill some six years back. Duncan had already been well into adulthood by that time, promptly picking up the mantle his father had left behind.
Deep down, you knew your father had wished you were his son rather than his daughter, but you worked tirelessly to prove to him that you were just as capable as any son. You supposed it also helped that Duncan was a near constant figure in both your lives.
“Is your father around?” He asked, looking past you towards the cabin. You pinned the last sheet to the line before picking up the basket and holding it at your hip.
“He should be back soon,” you told him. “Why don’t you come wait inside?”
The rest of the day passed quickly, your father making his appearance just before the sun set below the horizon. You served dinner, listening quietly as your father and Duncan discussed business around the fire. You cleaned quietly, excusing yourself to your bed. The cabin was a one room building, the little privacy you were afforded was hidden behind a makeshift curtain in the far corner. You changed into your night shift, moving to slide into bed when you heard your father utter your name. You paused, glancing at the curtain that separated you from the two men. Padding to the edge quietly, you peeked through the crack between the fabric and the wall. The two chairs were silhouetted against he warm, orange glow of the fire, but you could still see the smoke rise from your father’s pipe.
“I’m getting older. You know that, Duncan,” your father sighed, relaxing further back into his chair. His accent was thick with the weariness of the day, and there were days where even you struggled to understand him.
“Yes René,” Duncan chuckled. “I’m aware.”
“My girl is smart, strong, capable,” your father continued, and your heart swelled with pride at his words, your chest puffing up a little. “But she can’t be on her own when I’m gone.”
You frowned at that, brow furrowed in confusion. What did he mean by that? Had you not proven to him time and time again that you were able to take care of not only yourself but him? You were so caught off guard that you nearly missed his next words.
“She’s too dependent on me,” he murmured, frown evident in his voice. “She needs a man to keep her safe and grounded.”
“What are you getting at André?” Duncan asked carefully, leaning forward onto his knees as he stared at your father.
“Take her for your wife, Duncan.”
Your heart stopped.
“She’s agreeable and a hard worker,” your father continued, a cough wracking through him. “And I’m sure it has not escaped your attention that she’s quite the beauty as well.”
“It hasn’t,” Duncan hummed. “It’s true, she would make a most agreeable wife, but I don’t know.”
“Duncan,” your father chided. “You are the son I never had. Why not make it official? It would do this old man’s heart good to know that my daughter is in the care of someone who will take care of her.”
There was a long pause between the two.
“Alright, André,” Duncan relented. “I accept.”
You watched as the two men shook hands, bile rising up in your throat. You slunk back into your bed, waiting for their conversation to die down and silently making plans of your own.
It had taken you all of one day to find your opening to escape, a singular, small pack holding a change of clothes and your mother’s journal. Duncan had left your home with the promise to return the following week, your father having gone out not too long after. You had left him a note, telling him that you had left and that you wouldn’t be back. There was no point in beating around the bush. The two of you weren’t flowery people. It took you all of two days to make it to Denver, trading a couple of furs for a few nights at the local tavern. You hoped you’d be able to come up with a plan before your stay was up.
“You heard the news?”
You glanced over to the table to your right where two men sat, drinking beer and playing a game of cards.
“What news?” The man with the beard asked in a grunt, throwing down a couple of chips. His friend threw down the same amount, drawing a card to add to his hand.
“Heard they found gold northwest of Santa Fe,” the first man said, scratching at his whiskerless chin. “A little town called Maverick. Sounds like they’re opening a mine and everything.”
“Maverick,” the bearded man drawled, “ain’t that the town with the upstarts?”
“The Dagger Posse, yeah,” the man said. “Anyway, the mayor apparently announced that they’re handing out permits or whatever for mining and panning. Could be worthwhile.”
His companion grunted, revealing his cards as the man groaned. Pulling the pile of chips closer to him, he sniffed.
“Might not be a bad idea to get a move on now before more people showed up.”
You didn’t hear the rest of their conversation, already heading back to your room to make plans for tomorrow.
A/N: And here it is! The start of Javy's spinoff! The plan is to work on my entry for the Galentine's day challenge and then I'll let you guys decide who we hear from next! As always, reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated! Be sure to follow my side account: @sailoraviator-library and turn on post notifications if you'd like to be notified of when I post! You can also follow me on AO3 under the username sailor_aviator. Thanks for reading!
#javy coyote machado#javy coyote machado x reader#javy coyote machado x you#javy coyote machado fanfiction#javy machado#javy machado x reader#javy machado x you#javy machado fanfiction#coyote#coyote x reader#coyote x you#coyote fanfiction#top gun coyote#coyote top gun
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how john and abigail treat you after finding out your dating jack. part two.
before you continue!
GN reader, implied financial issues, brief mentions of the VDL gang, brief mention of injury, implied starvation and poverty. Jack is nineteen years old, Abigail and John survive AU. Implied malnourishment Loosely proofread, lmk if I missed anything. just 'you.'
credits...
thank you so much for the love on the last post!! lmk if you want me to write more of this series. part one.
One of my mutuals gave me this idea, so thank you so much @creamqueen <3.
puppy love trope implied with jack marston <3.
Throughout the short period of knowing the marston family, you managed to make a name for yourself in that household. You were popular within the walls of the ranch because it seemed like the couple's lovestruck son didn't ever stay quiet about you, everyday either John or Abigail had to hear about how pretty you were, how you were such a sweetheart, the looks that you give him, and the list seemed to go on without a stop.
Abigail and John both enjoyed your company in that small amount of time of meeting them couple weeks back. Abigail basically became the mother you never had due to her wanting to teach you everything and anything because you were never able to experience that growing up. She loved the sweet mannerisms that would escape your lips whenever you thanked her for something she would've considered small - hand sewing your clothes, fixing up old clothes that had holes in them, teaching you new recipes and she adored whenever you would compliment her food, knowing you aren't as lucky as most, causing her to insist on giving you more food because your small and malnourished body always makes her heart break.
She was also grateful that her son managed to find someone sweet as you, she was afraid that the morales and respectful demeanor she stuck into that boy's head would've gone to waste on someone who was a bad influence. Afterall, she didn't want her son to be following the same path they were running away from for years.
John was no different to you, he was carrying towards you in his own way, he would back up his beloved wife when they tried to convince you to stay over, always buying freshly new packed cigarettes for you and invites you out on the porch as he would tell you old stories of running in a gang - scolding you in the process not to make the same mistakes he did. He smuggles... insists giving you money whenever he would shove it in the pocket of your coat whenever Abigail would fix up your clothes, he knew that you needed it more to keep yourself stable because you'll decline the money otherwise. John decides to set up a room for you in the attic without telling you and gets his beloved wife's opinion aswell as the pair would decorate the room and put things you were lacking - warm blankets, couple of snacks, shoes, clothes and whatever else jack tells them that you needed at the moment.
Both parents also took notice of how Jack no longer called you by your first name. Anytime he spoke about you at dinner, he would call you sweetheart, love, darling, honey or anything that came to his mind that caused his cheeks to grow a rosy red.
He was excited for you to see the room they set up for you, it meant that you finally you have a chance to relax and enjoy a fully cushioned bed without having to worry about bills or food. It also meant that he gets to see you more often and spend more time with you.
He knows that your not fully moved in yet, but the thought of you staying here for a couple of nights makes the young man excited, Afterall he misses you whenever your not around.
...
When you found yourself on the property that belonged to the Marston's once again, you were learning back in the chair as your boyfriends father spoke about his past, mentioning couple members of the gang he used to run in. He slipped a pack of cigarettes to you like he does normally, insisting that you should take one or more.
You don't know how you found yourself smoking cigarettes as the cold wind blew against you to Jack showing the new room they are allowing you to stay in for however you'll like with a big grin on his face - excited that your going to stay over for a couple more nights than just one.
It still didn't change the fact that his arms were wrapped tightly against you, his nose buried deep in your neck as he muttered reassuring words, hoping you'll accept the offer as you two laid down on the small bed, squished together making the proximity closer.
...
Most cases whenever you stayed over, Jack would either be in the room that is considered yours or you'll be in his. You two would sleep until Jack would wake you up, hearing Abigail scold both of you through the door, stating that it's late and breakfast is already cold. Depending on the gunslingers mood, sometimes he would smart-mouth his mother just to hold you longer, causing him to get scolded more.
You two would help John with ranch work, he would always try to impress you in some type of way or both of you would get distracted and his father would scold you both.
thank you so much for reading! please do not repost my work on any other platform, reblogs and likes are very appreciated! <3. masterlist
#john marston#rdr1#red dead fandom#red dead redemption community#red dead redemption 2#rdr2#red dead redemption two#rdr2 john#adult jack marston#rai's rambles.#jack marston nation#jack marston x reader#rdr1 jack#jack marston
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Summary: Everyone is born with an arrow on their hand that points toward their soulmate on their eighteenth birthday. When Lucien comes to find Elain after the arrow on her hand led Graysen to dump her on her birthday, she tells him to leave and not contact her again. Nine years later, their paths cross once more and Lucien makes it his mission to woo Elain.
Fic Rating: Explicit
Warnings: None
Chapter Length: 3772 words
Masterlist; Read on AO3
Chapter 4
Well, fuck.
Lucien watched Elain walk to her car feeling like the biggest asshole, despite the circumstances being completely out of his control. He could hardly be blamed for his parents’ wealth, but neither could he blame her for holding some resentment for those with money when by the sounds of it, she had struggled throughout most of her life.
As an adult, he had seen enough suffering to know that while wealth wasn’t everything, it also wasn’t nothing. He was lucky to be an ambassador to a wealthy country now, but in his travels he had seen enough poverty and sickness to keep him humble for the rest of his life. After the first time he had been faced with the terrible truth that people suffered through starvation and poverty, he had promptly begun donating a sizeable chunk of his money every year to reputable charities. He may have his own traumas from growing up in Beron’s household, but starvation and lack wasn’t one of them.
He felt like an ass after listening to Elain discuss her struggles. He felt a bit humiliated by what she must think of him, knowing he had been so reckless and spoiled in his younger years, and he couldn’t help but wonder if he had fucked the whole thing up by being so open about his past.
Lucien scrubbed his face, and then drained the rest of his coffee and got into his car to head back to his apartment, ruminating on all the things he’d learned about Elain. He couldn’t just let things end there, not when finally, after nine years, he gotten her to talk to him.
Clearly she had led a difficult life, and there was still the matter of what caused her to reject him in the first place, but perhaps he could woo her. He made his living turning tense situations around, surely he could do the same with his soulmate. He would just have to be careful with how he approached the situation if he had any hope of succeeding.
Lucien opened the door to his penthouse and winced as he stepped inside. Owning a penthouse, even if it wasn’t top floor, while only living in it for a few weeks a year certainly wasn’t going to convince Elain he was a normal guy. But then again, he supposed he wasn’t a normal guy so maybe it was best he didn’t pretend otherwise. He just needed to show Elain that it didn’t mean anything. She likely thought they have nothing in common, so he was going to have to show her that they were compatible.
Lucien walked to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of wine before heading to drop onto his couch to contemplate ways to woo Elain, to show her that he was worth her time, that he wasn’t just another spoiled rich man who didn’t understand the struggles of those less fortunate. Of course, he didn’t have first hand experience, but that didn’t mean he was entirely clueless.
He wanted to know more about Elain’s history, and briefly considered enlisting the help of Azriel—that man could find out information like nobody’s business—but quickly dismissed the idea. Elain wasn’t likely to enjoy him prying into her life like that, and honestly he didn’t find the idea all that appealing either. He wanted to get to know Elain the old-fashioned way. Maybe he could do the normal thing and google her socials, see what he could find that way.
A couple hours later, his answer to that was nothing. Elain had almost no social media accounts, and those she did have were either private or filled with pictures of flowers. He sighed, setting down his fifth glass of wine. He supposed that’s what he got for trying to snoop.
Lucien stared at his phone, wondering if he should text her or wait for a couple days. He itched to send an apology to her, although he wasn’t sure what to apologize for. Sorry I grew up rich seemed about as good an idea as texting I’m sorry to hear you were poor. He winced at the thought and immediately berated himself as an asshole for even thinking it.
He groaned, his head falling back against the couch. He was an asshole though. Instead of trying to think of ways to woo Elain, he had just spent several hours thinking about the wealth gap between them and trying to find an easy way to get to her. He needed to get his shit together because he’d be damned if he let Elain slip through his fingers again. If he was going to be relegated to a life alone, then he at least wanted to get to know more about his soulmate first.
There were certainly plenty of other obstacles that would make a relationship difficult if Elain ever did decide to give him a chance. He had been conveniently ignoring the fact that he lived out of the country for most of the year while Elain was firmly rooted in this country. He couldn’t exactly ask her to give up her flower shop to come be decoration on his arm while he did his job.
Lucien pinched the bridge of his nose. He’d think about that later. One step at a time, and step one was to get another date with Elain. A real date this time, not just coffee. He didn’t think she’d agree to something obviously romantic such as dinner, so he was going to have to be a little sneakier than that. He pulled his phone back up and typed into google. He sat up when he came across the botanical gardens.
Perfect.
*****
Elain’s anxiety was only growing stronger the longer she went without hearing from Lucien. She almost felt as if she needed to apologize. She knew next to nothing about him, and the fact he grew up wealthy wasn’t exactly his fault. But she didn’t apologize, because that also sounded ridiculous. Sorry I’m jealous of your childhood. And what was there to be jealous of really? So he had grown up wealthy. It didn’t sound as if his childhood were any better than hers, and might have even been worse.
She blinked quickly, shaking her head to get out of her own mind and back to arranging flowers. Money was such a terrible thing to be hung up on. But it also wasn’t nothing. Lucien may have had a terrible childhood, but could he relate to her at all when he had had most things handed to him? He had earned his position as ambassador, but he wouldn’t have had the chance to earn it if not for Helion.
Elain sighed. She needed to stop thinking about this. It didn’t really matter anyway. Even if she wanted to pursue a relationship with Lucien, and she reminded herself that she didn’t, he was out of the country for all but a few weeks a year. It would never work. She had worked too hard to get where she was now and she couldn’t just give it up, nor did she want to spend months at a time without her significant other.
That was that really. No matter whether she and Lucien were compatible, it would never work because his job took him out of the country and her business kept her here. The wealth gap between them was a moot point.
Decision made, she tied a bow around the vase of flowers and then took it to the shelf with the other orders awaiting pickup. She smiled as she looked at the arrangements. No, she wouldn’t want to give this up. She loved her job, loved that her former employers had been willing to sell the business to her for a reasonable price, and loved that she was the master of her own life, even if the house she lived in felt incredibly lonely now that she lived by herself.
Perhaps she should sell it. Except that thought left her with a bubble of sadness in her throat. It was the last piece of their father and mother that they had, and even if she did sell it, it wasn’t just hers. Their father had left the house to all of them, although when he had had the money and mental wherewithal to speak to a lawyer, she had no idea. It couldn’t have been too long after their mother’s passing, because his mental decline had only gotten worse each year until his passing.
Elain went back over to her work bench and picked up her phone to check the time and was surprised to see she had a text from Lucien. She had been so busy with her arrangements, that she hadn’t thought to check her phone for hours, and his text had come through over two hours prior.
I just wanted to drop a quick text to apologize for putting my foot in my mouth the other day. I’ve been thinking a lot since our coffee date and I can see why you’d be upset, perhaps even think we’re not compatible. However, I would still love to get to know more about you, if you’re willing. I have never been to the botanical gardens and wondered if you’d want to go with me while I’m in town.
Elain stared down at the lengthy text, her eyes snagging on the word date. She swallowed, shaking her head and forcing herself to finish the text. Lucien wanted to go to the botanical gardens with her? She chuckled as she stared at the text, reading it over and over. He was good, hitting her right in her Achilles heel. The botanical gardens was one of her favorite places to go.
She bit her lip, trying to decide how to respond. It would be smarter to turn down the offer, given he was still leaving in a few weeks and she wouldn’t be free until this next Monday, which meant even less time until he left. She wasn’t so unware as to not realize she had abandonment issues. Her mother had not left by choice, of course, but it didn’t negate the fact she was gone, as was her father. Even Nesta had left her, although her sister had since apologized for that, speaking with Elain after the wedding. And although Elain was happy for Feyre, she had left her too. Everyone around her was moving forward in life and leaving her behind.
Elain typed out a message declining Lucien’s offer, but her finger hovered over the send button, something stopping her. She stared at the letters on her screen as the desire to delete them grew. She had spent so much of her life being practical, despite it not being her choice. If she had had a choice, she would have been a typical teenager, attending parties instead of work, getting drunk with friends at college while earning a degree in botany instead of working at a flower shop for hardly more than minimum wage. Even Lucien technically represented a lack of choice. She would have chosen Graysen, even if she was glad now that he had shown his true colors. What she had mistaken for love had been possessiveness. But that didn’t negate the fact that Lucien had been forced on her, had not been her choice.
But maybe she could stop being practical, could decide for herself what she really wanted. She would never use Lucien, not really, but perhaps she could still have fun. She was only twenty-seven and hadn’t had a boyfriend since she was eighteen. If he was leaving in a few weeks, what was the harm in at least pretending she was young and carefree?
Elain deleted the message and typed out another.
That sounds lovely. The botanical gardens is one of my favorite places and would love to show you around. I won’t be free until Monday. I hope that works.
She exhaled when she hit send, biting her lip and staring at her screen. When several minutes passed and nothing came through, she put the phone in her pocket and sighed at herself for expecting an immediate response, walking to the front of the store to relieve her morning employee and take her place behind the register for the rest of the day.
Elain had just finished helping a client with their order when she felt a buzz in her pocket. She grabbed her phone and smiled without realizing it when she saw a text from Lucien.
Monday is perfect. See you then.
*****
Lucien smiled at his phone screen. Elain’s message had been short, but relief had hit him like a ton of bricks when she had finally texted back and agreed to their date. He loved that the botanical gardens were her favorite place. Perhaps they could keep a conversation going without the need to reveal such personal information. If he could get her to see that the differences between them weren’t insurmountable, he might just stand a chance.
The only problem, of course, was that he was going to have to wait until Monday to see her. It was only Wednesday and Monday felt too far off. He sat back on his couch and narrowed his eyes in thought. There had to be a way for him to see her sooner than that.
He smirked as an idea formed.
*****
The next afternoon, Lucien opened the door to the flower shop. He hardly noticed the flowers, his eyes immediately going to Elain behind the register. He couldn’t have kept the smile off his face if he wanted to. She looked gorgeous. She had her hair swept back into a ponytail, but after hours of work, she had an array of softly curling tendrils falling around her face and her cheeks were flushed. Her adorable mouth popped open when she saw him.
“Lucien?”
He forced himself to be calm as he sauntered up to the counter. Thankfully she had no other customers at the moment, although he certainly hoped that wasn’t the usual case, for the sake of her business.
“I heard this was the best place to purchase a flower arrangement.”
Elain’s mouth curved up for a moment before she seemed to school her expression, squaring her shoulders. “Oh? Where did you hear this?”
“Feyre told me.”
Elain hummed. “So, you’d like an arrangement?”
Lucien nodded. “Yes, but I can’t decide which flowers to pick. Perhaps you could help me?”
A mask of professionalism fell onto Elain’s face as she realized he was here to purchase flowers. “Of course. Do you know what sort of arrangement you want?”
Lucien shook his head. “What do you offer?”
Elain pulled out a book, showing him a variety of arrangements. He smiled to himself as he chose the largest size. “I think this one will be perfect.”
Elain nodded. “Ok, then next we can pick flowers.”
Lucien nodded, a finger tapping his chin as he pretended to think. “Which ones do you think would look best?”
Elain thought for a moment. “Well, it depends on the occasion, I suppose or the person you’re giving it to, as well as how much you would like to spend. Flowers such as carnations and baby’s breath are good fillers if you’d like to prevent the arrangement from exceeding your budget. Roses are of course always a good bet, and are not too expensive this time of year. If you’re looking to jazz up the look, dahlias or lilies are a good choice. Just be warned that lilies are toxic to some pets like cats, so if there will be cats around, I would suggest avoiding them.”
Lucien watched Elain describe flowers, so clearly in her element, and something fluttered in his chest. There was nothing sexier than someone talking about the things they loved and Elain clearly loved her job. Her entire face was lit with excitement as she described the different ways she could do the arrangement based on whatever his budget was. He had to mentally shake himself several times to pay attention so he didn’t get lost in her bright eyes or the luscious lips that he suddenly had a very strong desire to kiss.
When he realized Elain had stopped talking, Lucien cleared his throat, trying to recall what she had said and feeling stupid that he had been too focused on her lips to listen to what her. “I’ll leave it in your capable hands, I think. Pick whatever you think would look best.” He told her how much he wanted to spend, which was really a lie. He would have bought the most expensive arrangement of flowers possible if he didn’t think it would work against him.
“Would you like to pick it up or have it delivered? We can do either as early as tomorrow.”
Lucien pretended to think. “I think I’ll come by tomorrow and pick them up myself.”
Elain smiled. “Wonderful. They should be ready by ten, so feel free to come any time after that. Or I can contact you after the arrangement is complete, whichever works best for you.”
Lucien swallowed hard at Elain’s smile, the way it lit up her face. Focus. He needed to focus. “I can come by after ten.”
Elain nodded, and Lucien exhaled slowly as she bent her head to write something down. After running his credit card, Elain handed it back to him and he waved goodbye.
When he exited the little shop, he inhaled deeply and then exhaled, trying to slow his racing heart. Was it the soulmate bond between them that was causing this? He had had girlfriends in the past, prior to the arrow on his hand suddenly pointing in Elain’s direction one day, but never had he felt like his heart was about to fly out of his chest when one of them smiled at him.
Even if it was the soulmate bond, he couldn’t say he minded. He was beginning to think that life without Elain was a half-life.
*****
Elain was just finishing up the last touches on the last arrangement for the day when Mandy, her employee currently watching the front, yelled back, “Elain, there’s someone here to see you.”
Elain finished tying a bow and then removed her apron and hung it up before walking to the front. She immediately smiled when she saw Lucien at the front waiting for her. Her heart skipped a beat or two when he returned her smile. “Hello. Are you here to pick up your arrangement?”
Lucien nodded. “I hope I’m not too early.”
Elain glanced at the clock on the wall and noted it was ten o’clock sharp. “Nope. I just finished the last of the arrangements. Let me get yours.”
Lucien nodded as she turned to head back into the back room. She had gone a little crazy with the arrangement, trying to keep in mind Lucien’s budget, but thoroughly enjoying being able to pick all the flowers herself. It was a beautiful arrangement, that was for sure, perhaps one of her best. All her favorite flowers were in there in every color she could cram into a single display. Perhaps some people would find the bright slash of colors garish, but she loved it. She could only hope that Lucien did as well.
When she brought the arrangement out, Lucien smiled broadly. She set the vase on the counter, nearly taking up the entire space as the flowers spilled out of the top. Elain stepped to the side so she could see him, clasping her fingers together in apprehension. “I hope this is what you were looking for. I went a little wild with all the different colors, but these are some of my favorites, and I made sure to stick within your budget, which is why there are so many of these.” She clamped her mouth shut when she realized she was rambling, watching as Lucien considered the arrangement.
Nodding, he turned to her. “These are perfect, thank you.” He picked up the flowers, turning the vase around to see the back and then nodded again and held them out to her. “These are for you.”
Elain’s mouth popped open as Mandy chuckled by the register. “What?”
Lucien held the flowers in front of him as Elain gaped at him, shrugging his shoulders. “Well, I could hardly go get flowers from another shop to give to you, could I?”
When Elain continued to gape at him, Mandy lightly shoved Elain’s shoulder, shaking her out of her shock. “You bought these for me?” she asked slowly, her mind feeling slower than molasses.
Lucien’s cheeks turned pink as he continued to hold the flowers out. “I figured working in a flower shop, you probably don’t get a lot of flowers yourself. I thought maybe you’d like some.”
“For pete’s sake, Elain, take the flowers,” Mandy said.
Elain reached out to take the vase back, staring at an arrangement filled with all her favorite flowers. Sure she had made it herself, but also, it had been so fun to have creative liberty that it hardly registered that she had essentially given herself flowers.
“They’re beautiful,” she said in a daze.
Lucien chuckled. “Of course they are. You picked all the flowers yourself.”
Elain eyed him and noticed the mischievous glint in his eyes. “This doesn’t exactly count as giving me flowers, you know.”
Lucien shrugged. “Like I said, I couldn’t exactly get flowers from your competitor.”
“I’ll be right back,” Elain said, heading toward the back room where she could set the flowers down and out of the way. She couldn’t help smiling as she stared at them, and she had to admit it was a clever way to buy her flowers. Walking back to the front, she found Lucien casually leaning against the counter and her eyes nearly went wide at how sexy the pose looked. She just barely school her expression as she nodded and smiled gently at him. “Thank you for the flowers. It was very thoughtful.”
Lucien smiled back. “I’ll see you Monday then?”
Elain bit her lip against the fluttering in her chest at that smile. “See you Monday.”
As he walked out the door, Elain couldn’t stop staring. He was certainly a sly one. Instead of waiting until Monday, he had managed to see her for two days this week. She would have to keep her eye on him. He was likely to win her over without her even realizing what he was doing.
And she was wondering now if she even minded.
#elucien#elain x lucien#elain archeron#lucien vanserra#elucien fanfiction#elucien fic#elucien fanfic
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The Kinda/sorta SI!Aizen Sosuke Isekai AU
because my brain has been blessed with works from cywscross/cheshiresense, like the Ichigo and Aizen Time Travel AU, and the amazing I (Not) Aizen Sosuke by Williamcipher, I'm gonna half-hazardly note this idea out because I can not write bleach fic to save my life.
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So, first things first; why is this only sorta SI!Aizen Sosuke?
Because, this is technically Aizen Sosuke, just a parallel from a modern universe and because the thought of a Milennial!Aizen makes me want to fucking cackle like a banshee. Like, Sosuke is still a tricky, nasty little genius, but he's actually had therapy and the internet to get any teenage angst and black history out. (Which he denies ever having, like a lair) And yes, He has suffered Retail, so he can and will be the fakest bitch you ever did see, the customer service smile never forgotten despite how he wishes he could. He's had to grow from a life of poverty, clawing and reaching for everything he's had, but he's also had the public library and some really damn good teachers to have his back, an actual safe place for him to fall back too.
(Amazing, what a difference it makes.)
So, as a kid, Sosuke practically read everything he could get his grubby hands on, partly to better himself, partly an escape, when he came upon his library's selection of comics and manga; he found a certain series; Fullmetal Alchemist.... Just, imagine this young, little genius reading such a book at such a young age; think of how he would react to such twists and chills this story brings, and how it unknowingly shaped him. (how it inspired him).
This started a very big, very large rabbit hole for the kid; he could not get enough after that; which, in the end, leads him to a manga called Bleach. He ends up enjoying it, not as much as Fullmetal, but the story does peak his interest, from Ichigo's charisma, to even side characters like Gin's treachery and Urahara's puppetry. it is a fasinating story in it's own right, even as the villain, Aizen both intrigues him and frustrates him.
Like, his motives and ambitions, along with his skills should not make such a fucking flat as depth character! Where is character depth, why does he fucking monologue so damn much? Why not explore the sense of loneness that Ichigo saw, especially once we reach the Qincy War and he still sided with SS? Sosuke would like a little more justice for a character with so much potential and shit, a villain through and through, and yet one of the greatest helps at the end.
(We do not mention the Bleach Epilogue, and it's not because Sosuke ships Ishida and Inou, nope, it just doesn't exist, out of spite out of mind. why does he ship it? because why not :D)
So, for this relatively self-adjusted Aizen Sosuke, he suddenly dies one day, only to find due to certain circumstances, (I'm gonna say a certain wishing rock, his soul being distantly connected, wrong place wrong time, shitty luck, and his death not actually be an accident >_> how energy can not be destroyed or created technically, so it attached to his soul) Sosuke finds himself kinda sorta before what might be the Soul King(?) and he's gonna have to be born as Bleach!Aizen Sosuke cause funky things happened across dimensions, and it's either this or have his soul shredded in unbearable agony.
Sosuke:... So what, I become a Shikigami and get guaranteed a one way ticket to hell the minute I die?
Soul King: Not if you play your cards right; but yeah, the Visored still need to be a thing, so have fun figuring that out :D
Sosuke: Fuck. You. *so starts his Tries to figure out a way to fucking change the whole Soul King system so the Captains and such don't have to became hellspawn the minute they die and how to create Visored consensually*
So yeah, Aizen Sosuke is a pretty different animal in this world; He still has the damn Customer Service smile, because it has become a very important tool in survival among those damn annoying nobles, is a bit snarky tho but very, very rarely because corpal punshiment with whips and such is actually still a thing here and people do get so very nasty because they can with Outer Rukongai Trash as he is called.
But it's so pathetically easy to find souls and such that willingly let them be experimented on if it means their families get fed or they don't die in the cold. the only illusions Sosuke uses is to disguise himself with or erase memoires of conversations if the soul choses not to be experimented on. Otherwise, Sosuke is brutally honest in what he's doing, what can happen to the soul, and what it can cost.
(It's kinda understandable, that other Aizen Sosuke's ambitions, with just how fucking many take him up on that offer so fucking willingly, some even happy with it.)
So things happen, Sosuke really doesn't want to create a certain death marble, but the way things are going it's looking like it, seeing as he is nowhere near close to his goals. (He thinks of such a thing, this Hogyoku, thinks of just how many suffered for it, how it twisted a version of himself, the temptation of twisted promises, and this man can't help but hesitate, uncertain of temporing with such things beyond him. He might be a version of Aizen Sosuke, he might be made up with twisted ambitions and his own greed, Rukongai chewing him up and spitting him out into something that will survive, letting him see just how deep his inner demons are... but as he is parallel, there are lines he will not cross.)
So, Sosuke on a whim and coffee withdraw, (with nightmares haunting his feet and dreams, screams and blood seemingly drenching them) sees if he can maybe at least get along with Urahara Kisuke. After all, he's pretty sure he won't get the worst case scenario, with the man plotting his downfall one step at a time at least.
(It is the start of the best and worst relationship anyone in Soul Society has ever seen; Like, 95% of SS thinks these two are just really intense, hateful rivals who get under each other's skin like no one else can, concerns about how the two spar really rough with each other, people guessing if anything they must have had hate sex at least once because of battle high. the startled concerns with how their debates are rough and harsh, their Rukongai language actually coming out as they argue and growl at the other even as they smartly trash the other sides pro's and cons, only to get served a minute later.
The remaining 5% is split between groups who think the relationship is like the worst married couple ever, you think they're on their way to a divorce any minute now, with maybe a concern of toxicity. But the other part, with maybe one or three people who have actually looked at this relationship, really look and realize; oh... so that's how love can look like too... huh.
Because for these two broken, bloody men showing the world they have something they care about, something they treasure and love is never a smart thing; it only gets it stolen from them or tossed aside. So all their gentle touches, soft words, the domestic bliss of Sosuke able to cook and serve a little tea on the side as Kisuke rambles with bright eyes about his favored project at the moment, of just holding the other close as they sleep after rough missions and nightmares; this is only to be had behind closed and reinforced doors so they don't risk this person who they world destroy worlds and more for) But that is later; much later; for now, the two are snarky besties who take pot shots at each other but will mentally screw with others who would say shit about the other.
And then... the thing that Sosuke has been trying to do, the Hollowifcation that he has been struggling to reach all this time, has been failing at... is done; not by him, not by any scientist or some such, but i'm gonna say it was a means to save him and a few others from a fate worst then death or something, Kisuke desperate to do so.
Yes, this does in fact mean We get a Visored!Aizen, cuz why not :3 not to mention, with maybe a few different Visored with maybe a couple still the same. (Kaien and Gin would be interesting in my opinion, with maybe Shinji not actually a Visored in this world, maybe Lisa either if we want to trade seconds of the squads :3)
So yeah, exile happens still, no one hunting them down because the only search parties that would be allowed for them would be assassinations and such, and no one wants them dead besides assholes.
Things happen, things go differently, and in the end Aizen Sosuke, as a soul outside the cycle of reincarnation, one touched by so many different energies, has been both corrupted and become more, with a power and sword that can warp reality, he can touch the throne and not become unmade, can use it for his goal, in return for his own sacrifice
Of course, this is Sosuke; his back up plans have back up plans; so, he goes Isekai protagonist, finding himself in post canon bleach without knowing it, pretty powerless if you didn't count his mind and that he still has his sword, just forced to forget their name and his power cut in half (he's built himself up from nothing twice already, what's once more with some perks and it's not like he won't be able to remember their name; on another note, all his respect for all the sheer bullshit Ichigo had to go through after the winter war).
Of course, Sosuke isn't going to go through this alone; nah, urahara and his fellow visored are like "you're not getting rid of us that easy So-kun :) " and of course others will join in, because they are rebel or die together.
So, all these alternate versions in post canon, what havoc will they cause? A lot; some interactions I want:
Sosuke is injured and past out when canon first finds them, because of the newest villain of the week got lucky and so we have a blood thirsty Kisuke ready to destroy everything, cold blooded and still unlike he usually shows the world. Hijinks happens when all three groups clash, bonds happen, pretty sure the Ichigo effect comes up once or twice as the two groups work together against the enemy flavor of the week, so it's pretty late when peeps realize; wtf, why is an aizen here?
On Sosuke's part; wakes up, bleary-eyed, blinks, takes in a scene before him that is probably a bit ridiculous, before he turns his back to it and goes right back to sleep: I reject a reality where there are two Urahara's :T
Sosuke: ... why am I surrounded by children? *generally confused by ducklings he has unintentionally gathered by being honest and snarky and a really damn good teacher* Kisuke: *laughing not realizing at first that those are now his ducklings too*
Like, a movie night I want to happen, Sosuke and Kisuke starting it because nightmares and trauma, only for Ichigo and other to join in somehow, it becoming a bonding event.
People finding out about how Sosuke ended up being forced to be reborn in a manga and have no choice but to make Visoreds or have his soul stuck in a cycle of constantly being shredded and tortured, but actually trying to make it as safe and willing as possible. Kisuke: WHY THE FUCK DIDNT YOU TELL ME, I COULD HAVE HELPED!!! Sosuke: WHAT DO YOU MEAM WHY DIDNT I ASK, OF COURSE I WON'T, WHO'D BELIEVE FLAMING BULLSHIT LIKE THAT!? I BARELY BELIEVE IT AND I'VE FUCKING BEEN THROUGH IT!
Sosuke: *Been through the worst day possible, almost died, his people he actually has positive emotions for almost died, made it through with a little more trauma." ... Fuck it. *Kisses his boyfriend, uncaring who sees.* Post Canon Characters and others: *Jaw dropped, choked sounds, sputters, and money and bets exchanging hands*
Sosuke to Canon!Aizen:... You can not tell me you have not wanted to pin Urahara to the wall and stab him a little as you kiss him; I know myself well enough.
And welp, here it is, ask me questions if you want or if anyone gets inspired, let me know!
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Robby with a pregnant wife with survival issue
(Unedited) (Mentions of past poverty issues, Use of survival instincts, Borderline talk of child abuse referring to both Robby and Reader having being left to fend for themselves as children, Mentions of food insecurity)
•The pregnancy started out pretty easy for the couple. They both didn't worry to much about anything in particular and the pregnancy slowly went on. Both of them where extremely happy and excited to start their journey of being parents.
•Robby didn’t see his wife’s old habits until a few months into the pregnancy. For the most part he thought that most of the habits she had as a teen, when they first meet, had slowly been worked over. That her coping mechanisms along with growing out of the bad habits after growing into a new normal where money wasn’t a issue.
•He noticed the fidgeting at baby stores at first. At first he thought she was just excited and a bit nervous to be going in and shopping for the first time. After all they where both new soon to be parents and they had never gone to a baby store before. But he realized that she only fidgeted when looking at things, she looked at price tags and labels while biting at her lips or scratching at her fingers. Her eyes would grow distant as she looked at the prices of different kinds of bottles, at crib sheets, stroller’s.
•When Miguel’s wife brought over some old maternity clothes she had laying around, his wife seemed more relaxed. She accepted the clothes with no issue and smiled the whole time. When they even offered them some old baby clothes he watches how her face lit up. He watched as the two women talked while going though the box of baby clothes.
•Robby only worried more when they eat. When he would take her out for lunch or dinner he started to grow more concerned. He would never say his wife “pigged out” while eating, even if she was pregnant. She eat good and enough to fill her need, to keep herself and their baby full. But he frowned when she would eat and then shove away a half eaten plate, or she would pick at it after noticing Robby was still eating. She tried to hide the look, something of hunger and guilt, like she wanted to eat the rest but something held her back.
“I’ll just take it home so we have something in the fridge for later.”
•He started to understand after a while. It wasn’t that she was full, she was scared. She was scared of not being able to have something to eat later on, that she could starve. She was trying her best to save and store her food. She was going back to her food insecurity issues.
•One day he completely restocks the fridge, freezer and pantry when she’s not home. He makes sure the kitchen is completely full of everything he knows she likes. He wants to make sure she understands that she has everything she could want and that she can eat what ever she wants, when ever she wants and not have to worry about stashing food away. When they go out he makes sure to order seconds to go, just to put in the fridge.
•He sits her down and talks to her about it. He talks to her and explains that he understands how she is feeling because he went though the same thing she did. When they where both teens they both had to fight for everything, food and money being the biggest things. But he goes on to tell her that things are different now. He's working and he a good paying job, they have money saved up from her work. They are getting by just fine. They can afford to LIVE, not just get by.
•They both cry a lot after the talk. His wife didn't even realize how bad things where getting, she didn't even see how bad her habits had become. The pregnancy was getting to her, her hormones and emotions where and jumbled. She crys a lot at the fact that if it wasn't for Robby saying something that she probably wouldn't have even realized how bad her habits where coming back and effecting her. Robby does his best to console her, because she's scared she could have ultimately hurt not only herself but their baby.
•They both work on it a lot before the baby comes. Robby makes sure they buy all the right things for the baby no matter the price tag. He also makes sure his wife eats enough, not just enough to get by but enough to make her and the baby full and happy. One step at a time.

#cobra kai#cobra kai blog#cobra kai ask blog#cobra kai headcanons#robby keene x reader#robby keene#robby keene headcanons#robby keene x chubby reader#cobra kai robby#pregnant reader#pregnancy
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A Burnt Sacrifice | Hyunjin
PAIRING Guardian Angel!Hyunjin x fem!reader
GENRE angst, guardian angel au
WORD COUNT 12.5k
SYNOPSIS Hyunjin was built for the purpose of caring for Y/N, her guardian angel. And after serving her for almost 25 years, he can no longer stay as a background character in her life. Despite being an angel, he will sin if it means he gets a chance to be by her side.
FEATURING Mark, Han + Beomgyu
WARNINGS hyunjin is kinda obsessive over y/n but he justifies it as being her guardian angel, swearing, use of dating apps + cringey awkward dates, hyunjin watched y/n grow up so its kinda weird but he’s only as old as y/n yet he never ages, burns, self harm (y/n picks at her blister), description of injuries, blood, only light religious themes despite the theme, mentions of poverty, descriptions of anxiety
BASED OFF of ‘Cherry’ by Harry Styles
COLLAB part of @hvcmixtape ‘heart to heart’ valentines day collab
TAGLIST @isearchedtheyooniverse @oddfeeeling @itslovelylilly @rgbsona
Two were born on the day of your birth. Y/N L/N and Hyunjin Hwan. To call them twins would not be appropriate for this story, for they were not connected by blood. Nor was he birthed by any woman. For Hwang Hyunjin was created, sculpted by God themself. This wasn't a metaphor for his beauty, As his soul was quite literally pieced together one by one by the heavens. Y/N’s mother had an angel of her own, as did every human on Earth. While in the womb, her angel watched over both Y/N and her mum, allowing those above to create the perfect match for Y/N. Someone designed to protect, care and love her.
This is the story of Hyunjins journey to protect, care and love Y/N. He was created for that very purpose. He was Y/N's guardian angel. Everything he did was for her, his every thought, want and need was her. Both their hearts were bound by the stars, fused together for eternity. He was created at Y/N's birth and would be destroyed at her death. Even in the afterlife, he would be there for her. Although she was to never know him, his time was spent away from his physical form where she couldn't see. Watching her from another dimension where the rules of Earth didn’t apply. But no matter where he was, the rules of heaven still applied. And despite his heart wanting more, he shouldn’t overstep those heavenly rules. He was a lover, destined to love Y/N for his everlasting life.
This is the story of Y/N's life, the girl who was to be protected, cared and loved for by the heavens. Born to a single mother and raised fairly. Y/N never had an interest in relationships, no desire to have a romantic partner. Her values lay elsewhere. Her family, education and job are more important than any lover could be. Or so she once thought. For loneliness begins to hurt after a while and thoughts begin to wander. Despite not believing in the heavens, she was sure some cosmic power must be against her in life. She was loveless, destined by the heavens to be alone for the rest of her mortal life.
Here is the story of love. Love at first sight, at last sight, at ever and ever sight.
Pryham. A town big enough to have two high schools competing against each other for scholarships. Small enough for that scholarship to be for students coming from a poor area. Big enough to have a lake named after the region it's in, the biggest lake in its area. Small enough for that lake to still be run by the natives of the land, a grumpy old man guarded the burnt-down lakehouse to make sure no one vandalised it further. Big enough for three major supermarkets to all be within walking distance of each other. Yet all three were small enough that they were managed by young adults who had not long left the same high school you attend now. It was a big enough town that the main street was filled with every large fast-food chain you could think of. Mcdonalds, KFC, Subway, it was all there. Yet the life of the town was not abandoned, locals still ran their cafes and small market shops. Something that bought your home back into the small-town culture. It’s hard to imagine angels would watch over such a town.
Growing up in such a town had its advantages. It was a close-knit community that supported its locals. When your mother had you at a young age and was left to raise you herself, the support came. It was the only way you made it to where you were now. Nights, where you would’ve been cold and alone while she worked, were saved by your mother's young coworker volunteering to watch over you. When your growth spurts outgrew your mother's financial situation, strangers come to donate new clothes to you. Keeping you warm in the winters you’d otherwise freeze in. And for that you were grateful. Not only for the people of your town who reached out to help but for your mother who swallowed her pride and asked for help when others would’ve been too scared to.
Growing up in such a town also had its disadvantages. Kids more fortunate than you didn't see the world as you did. To them, they weren’t thinking of the kindness it took for someone to give you their outgrown shoes. Instead, it was a teasing competition due to the condition they had arrived in. You would be lying if you said it didn’t get to you, but you took after your mothers bravely. Ask for help when you need it and keep smiling.
The people of your town were content with how it was. No one was going to make a change to how it was. The bullying, the poverty, the addictions. If you asked anyone how it was, they would say it was the best town in the world. But you knew better than that. Most born in Pryham stayed in Pryham. Majority with only high school educations, working in either the local shops or become labourers, tradies or farmers. This wasn’t an insult, you knew without these people the world around you wouldn't function as it should. But you had a burning desire for something more. Something larger than life.
You knew for this desire to come true, hard work was needed. With that in mind, you put your head down and got to work when it came to high school. It was all a teenager had during this time in their lives. All their friends, all their work, all their purpose was high school. For some it was just to learn the basics, kill some time before then become an adult and get a full-time job as soon as they can. For others, it was more than that. For you, it was more than that. Without a good high school education, you would not make it for any scholarships and if you wanted to go to university, you needed funding or else you couldn’t afford it. High school wasn’t your entire life despite what it seemed like, it was only part of the plan for your happy future.
Wednesdays were your favourite day of the week. The perfect middle of weekdays as well as your school's late start days. An extra hour in the morning supposed to be used as a study period for senior students was actually just used as an hour to sleep in. Unlucky for those who arrived at school each morning on the bus. For them, it was either wake up at the regular time or miss the bus and walk to school. Han Jisung was one of those unlucky few. Han was also part of those few who wanted something larger than life. At first glance, he was your regular high school student. Loud and funny, the class clown of your graduating class. His behaviour was often scolded by teachers yet he never could get in too much trouble with grades as good as his.
Han Jisung was lucky enough to be friends with someone like you, who was gonna wake up at seven AM regardless of your school's start time. He was never gonna do that extra study and you were never gonna find a break otherwise. Breakfast and coffee allowed you two to remain friends despite how hectic high school had become in your last year.
Part of the charm of living in a town like the one you called home was that the best coffee came from the local movie theatre. Five minutes down the road from your school and a student discount for some of the best coffee in town? Yes, please! But there was another reason that irked your stomach, another reason you were so persistent in going there each week. Sam.
You were so intrigued by this unknown man. He was older than the two of you, in his early twenties unless he was older and aged unbelievably well. With his long black hair and pretty face, it would be difficult for anyone to believe that the reason you were so intrigued by the man wasn’t because of his good looks. But it wasn’t a crush. Maybe it was, you had never experienced love before, thus you wouldn't know what it felt like. But the way it was described wasn't anything you felt. You weren’t excited to see him, nor were you nervous when he was around. No increased heartbeat, no romantic thoughts of wanting to be with him, no heated cheeks when he spoke to you. None of that. But it was a fascination.
That first day you met him you were instantly attracted to him. He laughed as you stuttered over your order, so effortlessly easy to be around, you didn't feel embarrassed. Your attraction wasn’t romantic, it was a longing for an old friend. A sibling you had fallen out of touch with. Anyone you had once known and then lost. But who was he? When you bought him up with your mother his description was unfamiliar.
The next time he served you and Han, you asked for his name. At that, he laughed and smiled. Sam was his answer. When you asked if it was short for Samual he didn’t give you an answer. You thanked him and left to join Han at your usual table. Becoming a regular customer wasn’t enough, each time he asked about your day you would give him some information about your life. When you asked back, he said nothing, keeping his life a secret from you. With his first name and face in mind, you desperately searched for him online.
But you found nothing again. No Facebook page, no Instagram. Sam remained a mystery.
“How was I?” Han is out of breath, his white shirt untucked and messy compared to how presentable he looked only moments ago on stage.
“Great, you were great” Your arms wrapped around his body, pulling him in for a hug. Your heart swelled with pride anytime Han took his place on stage during school assemblies. His anxiety often got the best of him, yet he still managed to secure a place within the student council. Once considered the naughty kid, he was able to clean up enough to get the position. One he deserved.
It felt like only the two of you existed as you stood outside the hall, swarms of students piling out eager to go home. But the two of you just stood, holding each other. Although he tried to pull away, you only held on tighter. Your fingers dug into the fabric of his shirt, begging him not to leave. Han didn’t mind, he matched your desperation with a hand on the back of your head, holding him to him. With the last week of school coming up, he knew soon both of you would have changing schedules.
You held him close. Your best friend, one of the only friends you had during this time. Han overwhelmed your senses. His cologne clogging your nose, shirt ripping through the skin on your fingers. All you could do is push your face into him harder, hoping to ground yourself into the solidness of his torso. It was all too much and not enough at the same time. Soon you would be leaving Han, and soon you would miss every part of him that would be overwhelming.
“Y/N?” His voice was soft, full of concern and lacking his normal enthusiasm. And it broke you. Hearing his voice tipped the tears you tried to hold back out and over your eyes. Spilling onto his white shirt and staining his skin forever. “Y/N what’s wrong?”
Once again he tried to pull you away, but you only held on tighter. Shaking your head no. He no longer held onto you, arms hovering awkwardly over his sides and he waited for you to be done. And when you finally pulled away he was more lost than ever.
“I got in Han” You watched as he processed your words. Soon the confusion was replaced by a smile, bigger than any you had seen him wear. Excitement took over him and he pulled you into a crushing hug. “I got into Britechester”
“Y/N Britechester? That’s great!” Each time he pulled away it was only for a second, he couldn't keep you away. Until it all finally clicked in his head, he clicked why you were crying. “Britechester, Y/N, that’s an eight-hour drive from here”
“I know!” You felt the tears form again, the overwhelming anxiety it brought you was something you tried to hide, but it was hard to hide anything from Han. “I hate to be so far away from mum and from you but I have to”
“No, you don’t” His head was shaking in disbelief, he now only held you by your hands. With a grip so tight that he was afraid that if he let go you’d leave right there and then. “You can’t go”
“I’m sorry?” His lack of support was lost on you. You had never doubted your decisions before but Han may be the first to change your view on it all.
“You can’t go Y/N, it’s not fair!” Anger arose in him alongside the first tear that split from his red eyes. He was looking at you, only past your eyes trying to search for some part of you that wasn’t committed to moving away. But you had already made up your mind.
“What are you talking about? I have to go, it's my dream university” You pull your hands away for him, not wanting to be touched by someone talking to you so poorly as if your opinion doesn't matter. “You knew this was a possibility Han, you’ve been with me for five years while I was making this happen”
“But this? I- I-” The words were lost on him. His hands rubbed the tears into his skin as he tried to calm down. Tried to make some sense of his world that was falling apart. “You just can’t, it’s not how things are meant to be”
“I thought you would be happy for me” As much as it hurts you to see him upset, what hurts, even more, is his unsupportive nature towards your situation. Something you worked so hard on and he is treating it as if it's his own. You reach to him and pull his hand away from his face. “Han please talk to me-”
“No!” Han was loud, it was in his nature. But he wasn’t an angry person. The loudness of his voice today came from anger. It froze you from the inside out, you watched with tears as he looked at you with the most fury you’d ever seen in him. “If you leave Y/N, I swear to god I will-”
“You’ll what Han? Stop being my friend?” You spit back at him, tears falling over the form of your lips and melting away any regretful words that may leave them. “It’s too late for that isn’t it?”
You pulled your bag on tighter and leave him standing alone, his fists clenched at his sides. Han never opened up to you much and you had just learnt why. With no control over his emotions, it was easy for him to be over the top. Moving away wasn’t going to be easy for you, but with one last friend to say goodbye to it made it that little bit lighter.
The first Wednesday without Han in it was strange. The bandage that held you two together had been ripped off and you were feeling the air on your skin for the first time in five years. And it wasn’t a pleasant experience. Yet you were determined to prove you could do this alone. So your usual stayed the same apart from the absence of your friend. Sam had become your usual, greeting you with a smile as you entered the small theatre.
“A large latte with almond milk and vanilla, extra hot?” He knew your order before you could speak it. Already reaching out with the stamp for your loyalty card.
“Please” You smiled, something genuine, something that wasn’t a crush. It was more than that. A deeper connection that you still didn't know where from.
“Where’s Han?” Although you were his regular, so was Han, something about that made your connection a little less special.
“He’s sick today” You didn’t look up from the EFTPOS machine, hoping he would buy your lie.
“I’ve got you all to myself then” He winked, something playful in his eyes. You only roll your eyes, not letting that smile that so badly wants to emerge show itself on your face. Instead, you take your seat, waiting for him to bring over your order.
After a few minutes have passed he brings over the latte he's carefully made for you, a heart appearing in the foam layer on top. Before you get a chance to make a comment he whisks away to serve another customer. Sam would be the death of you. Ignoring his flirting you're able to bring out your laptop and catch up on some work. School once again takes up any kind of social life you may have.
Finishing up your drink before school starts and mouthing the words thank you to Sam as he helps an older lady understand the card machine. You had only walked a couple hundred feet to where you needed to cross the road towards your school and you swore you had checked both ways. You swore that you saw that no cars were coming. But before you can take you could step away from the path and onto the road. A hand tugs at your collar, pulling you back with a mash-up of feet.
The force on your neck isn't what shocks you the most, it's the car flying past your face. Horn blaring as to blame you for their speeding. When you turn to see your saviour it's Sam. His eyes wide in panic. It's almost disturbing how fast your heart is beating. A near-death experience, that was something new to your life. Something that you first experienced with Sam. Was this the connection you felt with him? Did you know that one day he would be saving your life?
You couldn't calm yourself to think enough. After a few moments of standing, just staring at each other, you notice the tears on your face. The panic got to you. You reach up and wipe them, allowing Sam the opportunity to step away from you, heading back to the store after simply nodding at you.
“Sam?” You call out, still shaking as you stand near the road that was almost your grave only seconds earlier. As much as the panic of the event was still high in your mind, what stood out more was how fast he got to you. Only moments earlier he was inside the theatre building, talking to a customer who wouldn't be done ordering that fast. “How did that happen?”
“You were on your phone” He speaks nonchalantly, his usual charm gone. He sounds disappointed about how careless you were with your own safety. “You didn’t look before crossing”
“But how were you there?” Your voice was desperate for an answer, mind trying to make sense of his speed, or whatever force allowed him to save you.
“A ‘thank you’ would be nice” He turns back to the building, heading away from you once more
“Sam?” He stops at your voice but doesn’t look at you til he hears your next words. “Thank you”
Once you meet his eyes again, both of you feel a change. Your connection with him no longer feels like a weird obsession, you owe your life to him but he knows you're grateful. His eyes shift, knowing that you have found something true in him for the first time. Something about him is for the greater good rather than just a polite barista.
For him, this was love at first sight.
02/02/2022
Thoughts of Sam left your mind not long after high school, you no longer were in town every Wednesday to visit him. Instead, you were at university, studying even harder towards your law degree than you did towards your scholarships in college. The absence of love or any type of romance was something you were teased for in college, at university you were desperate to change that. And while school was still your number one, you had four years of it. You didn’t know if you could take four more years of nothing. Of being empty.
But with every lover, if you could even call them that, came hurt. It seemed no matter how hard you tried, how pretty you made yourself look, how well any first date went. Your relationship with that person would crash and burn. It became a vicious cycle of opening up only to be crushed. At some point, you were convinced you had gone to hell and this was your punishment. It was a dumb mistake made by your heart. You knew it was never to be successful, yet each time you had hope. But every time you were ghosted or just told the “it’s not you, it’s me” story, your heart smashed up a little more. Scattering so far away you were not sure if the next person you allowed in your life would be able to find it. The biggest worry was getting it so lost that you’d never be able to love yourself.
So you pushed it down for the most part. Half of your university you spent with open arms, trying your hardest to find love. And each time you failed. So for the last two years, you put your head down and focused on graduating. After endless hours of study and internships, finally came your career as a family lawyer in one of the most established law firms in your city. But now that you were a lawyer of your own, it was time that you hosted an intern. Like you did many years ago, someone who was fresh out of university with a law degree would come to work alongside you. And today was your lucky day to meet the new intern.
You hadn’t thought much about it. Although they would be working alongside you, they were their own employee and you weren’t their employer. That wasn't something you had to worry about. What you did need to worry about was keeping them up to date in cases, making sure they handled files correctly and teaching them the computer system used in your firm. It felt more like a chore than anything, guilt comes back to haunt you as you remember how useless you were when you first started. Pushing it to the back of your mind, you smooth out your shirt and head to the front room to greet the new intern at Hamlin, Hamlin & McGill.
You wouldn't describe yourself as the nervous type. Even in moments like job interviews, first dates and meeting the new young person who you would train and have an impact on for the rest of their life, you weren’t nervous. You knew your value, holding yourself high in the workplace. So you weren’t worried about giving any bad advice to new students. You got where you were today with hard work and dedication. With high confidence, you stepped out of the elevator that separated your office floor from the ground level. And there was the intern.
Your heart stopped beating for longer than you thought would be possible. His shirt and jacket were way too big for his lanky frame, they hung off of him. A thin black tie that would soon be covered by the blue lanyard you held for him. Despite being the first day of a new job for him, he stood just as nonchalantly as you were just a moment ago, he wasn’t nervous either. Even as recognition flashed through his eyes, his manner did not change. In fact, his smile grew larger. You weren’t a nervous person, but seeing Sam after so many years definitely was enough to shake you up.
The receptionist laughed at the awkward tension you had just created in the room, calling you to meet Sam at the front desk rather than stand and stare from the elevator. You clear your throat, begging the confidence you had this morning to come back.
“Y/N this is Hwang Hyunjin” She gestures from you to him. “And Hyunjin, this is Y/N L/N” And then from him to you.
“Nice to meet you Miss L/N” He puts his hand out for you to take, and you slowly accept, confusion still strong in your system. Why was he pretending this was your first time meeting?
“Hyunjin?”
“That's me” He laughs that awful laugh that you remember from years ago. This would be the longest internship of your life.
His desk sat outside of your office, along with the other cubicles. You're lucky to have your privacy but you knew you couldn’t avoid him forever. And the truth was you didn’t want to avoid him, he was once someone you enjoyed spending time with. But rekindling that seemed too much for you. You weren’t sure if you were ready for your hands to burn again. Yet you were powerless. This situation was out of your control, it didn't matter if you weren't ready for him, work meant you had to be. As much as you dreaded your upcoming interactions with your long-lost friend, you weren’t the same person you were years ago. You were no longer leaving texts unanswered just to do extra hours. Instead, you valued your time. You learnt when to take a break, but you also learnt when to prioritise work. And Hyunjin, your coworker, needed to be prioritised over your friend Hyunjin. It seemed he didn't feel the same, instantly knocking on your office door as soon as you settled in the safety of your desk chair.
“Come in” Your chest rose with your words yet your eyes stayed down. Empty words being typed to avoid any eye contact with the tall man in your door frame. He didn’t wait for any more cues, sitting with his legs tightly together in the chair across from yours. Defeated, you let out a breath of air and finally meet his dark eyes. “So Hyunjin”
“Yup” He popped his lips together, watching with some sick amusement as you come to terms with what was happening. “I’m Hyunjin”
You held eye contact for a moment longer, before your eyes darted to the shut door. You could drop the professionalism for just a moment. “What are you doing here?”
“Just wanted to say hello?” His lips curled upwards, watching your every move without a break. “You know, since I'm new here”
“No, I understand that” Your hands couldn't sit still, fidgeting with a pen tightly. “Not why are you here in this place, why are you in the city?”
“Same reason you're here I guess” No matter where you looked, you couldn’t escape his eyes. They were a dark pit, constantly bringing you in. Although his nature didn't reflect this, your memories of him don’t contain that part of him. “I needed to get out, see the country a bit. Get a real job”
“Okay” It wasn’t the answer you wanted, but you knew it was all you were getting. Your posture dropped as you got familiar with his voice once again. “What about your name? What happened to Sam?”
“Sams my English name. Hyunjin is my birth name, my Korean name”
“Why Sam?” While you felt your emotions change with each word spoken, stomach flipping at each sentence that came out of Hyunjins mouth. Hyunjin was unchanging. Stoic as he sat there, eyes boring into you.
“I was new to town so I thought having an English name would make it easier for me to fit in” But in that sentence, you see him drop a little, and for the first time, sadness flies over his eyes. “But that doesn't bother me anymore. So it's Hyunijn again”
“I’m glad”
“Me too” With a smile, he comes back to his original state. “Any work for me today?”
“Uhh just learn the system today, you know? Learn the office, say hi to some people and I’ll have something for you tomorrow” Since the start of the conversation, you jump back into reality. This wasn't Sam at the cafe you were catching up with. This was Hyunjin at work in which you were his boss. With your head clear again, your eyes go back to the many emails on your screen that are needing to be replied to.
“Well if you need me, I'll be here” Hyujin pulls himself out of the chair, long legs making his steps to the door faster than usual. Before he leaves, his eyes find yours once again, this time, there's hope within. “And you should call me sometime, tonight maybe. I’d like to catch up if that's ok with you.”
“Goodbye Hyunjin” You ignore his question, boss Y/N coming out once again.
“Bye Y/N” He smiles and with a few taps of your doorframe, he steps out. “Nice office”
Working with Hyunjin wasn’t as difficult as you imagined it would be. It was strange, you had imagined it would be like working with an ex-partner. The thick tension in the air of unresolved conflict. Rumours being spread on each side of the breakup. It wasn’t something you were looking forward to. But with Hyunjin, it was true to what your relationship was, old friends catching up. It wasn’t awkward and there were no unresolved topics to bring up, in fact, there were barely any memories to speak of when making small talk. More and more you’ve come to realise that your connection to Hyunjin was one-sided. In your head, you knew this man very closely in high school, but in reality, you weren’t even friends. He was nice to you because it was his job. And now it was your time to show some professional courtesy.
Yet since he started last week, that feeling you once had about him came back. If deja vu was personified, it was him. He was that bad dream you couldn't shake. Every part of him felt like a memory of a stranger. His smell, his voice, even the darkness of his eyes. They were all so familiar. It was as if he was a reminder you’d left to yourself. But what were you trying to remember?
These feelings should have felt more real, more justified. Unlike your teenage years, you did know Hyunjin. This was someone who left your life and then came back. But they were still too unfamiliar for your liking. Even as you sat in your break room and watched him make his coffee, something you knew all too well, it was still off. Your staring didn’t go unnoticed, soon his dark eyes were staring back with a smile. You tried to play it off, look in the other direction and finish eating from the plastic utensil in your mouth. But Hyunjin didn’t take the hint, or maybe he purposely chose to ignore it, as soon he was heading towards your table, sitting down with his hot mug of coffee.
“Can I help you?” The smugness in his voice made you sick, acting as if this was normal. Him being here wasn’t normal. You could feel it although the feeling was indescribable to anyone else. Why wasn’t it normal? You couldn't tell.
“What?” Playing dumb wasn’t the smartest choice when you’d been caught, but he was overwhelming your senses. He always did. Too good to be near you.
“Nevermind” His smile disappeared in his coffee, his eyes turning back to the room as he absentmindedly drank his coffee. Despite already being caught once staring, you couldn't keep your eyes off his face.
It was a comfortable routine you had found yourself in. During work hours, you’d help him where you could, show him how to do his job without you one day. It was playful, you had a reason to talk to him. But as soon as lunch hit, it was gone, and you had no reason to speak to him. And you barely could. This didn't seem to bother Hyunjin. He could speak for hours without another person replying. If he was passionate about something, it was all that was on his mind.
“I haven’t been back to the studio in a long time though, works been keeping me busy” The last of his drink disappears with a gulp and a sigh. Without waiting for a reply, he starts again. “You’re my boss, right? Want to give me some time off so I can go again?”
“I can’t do that Hyunjin” Your voice trails off, focusing more on the messages popping up on your phone.
“No fun Y/N, no fun” His hands rest against this table, leaning up and over his arms to look at your phone. “Who's that?”
“Hyunjin!” You quickly turn off your phone, the invasion of privacy upsetting you more than he expected. Quickly he backed away, taking his seat in the uncomfortable silence he created. Even he couldn’t talk his way out of it. It becomes too much so you stand, wanting to spend the rest of your lunch alone.
“Y/N wait-” He stands with you, not loud enough to draw any attention to himself. He was always good at that. Enough but never too much, but right now he was overwhelming you.
“I’ll be in my office” You speak to him once again as a stranger, nothing more than your intern. “You know what you need to get done for today?”
He sits himself back down, silently nodding at your words before you leave him once again.
04/04/2022
You hated running late, you knew how annoying it was to wait for someone to arrive when you had plans and being the one waited on was dreadful. Your mother had put it into your brain so many times, ‘Early is on time, on time is late and late is unacceptable’. You were just hoping your date was more forgiving than your mother. His name was Mark and from his photos, he was pretty darn cute. It had been too long since you got excited over a date. Usually, the talking went fine, you were excited at the time you had planned the date but meeting up always made you regret your choices. But as long as you kept your mouth shut and laughed at their jokes, you could at least get a free drink.
Not with Mark though. You had been chatting with him longer than you normally would before a date, even through your messages he made you laugh. Even if he wasn’t the one, even if you only got a friendship out of this, you wouldn’t be mad. He seemed like a nice person and you were excited to find more nice in your life. Despite being almost twenty minutes late from your meet time, you hold your head high and walk into the small town diner. The door rings with the bell above the entrance, most people here are too concentrated elsewhere to look your way. The cashier rang up an elderly man. Students head first into their laptops. A family with screaming kids. This place wasn’t fancy, it wasn’t somewhere you would take someone for a first date. This was boyfriend-girlfriend date material when you wanted to split a milkshake and grab food before the movies. But the food was good and the casual pace was a nice change.
Despite being late, Mark's eyes still lit up seeing you walk in. His oversized bomber jacket was pulled around the front as he sat in the booth, hands in his pockets. He was quick to his feet as you made your way over, pulling off his beanie and stashing it away in the process. His black hair was a mess underneath but you couldn't say you looked much better. Your high-waisted dress pants and untucked blouse. All the running in hopes to get here in time had the wind burning your face. You were burning up with the sudden change of temperature, eyes dry from the cold wind outside.
“Y/N?” He double-checked before you got to give him a hug, a formality you would not usually do right away but he was offering and who were you to say no when arriving so late.
“Mark I’m so sorry” You were struggling to catch your breath, sitting with shaky legs. Your jacket and bag had been discarded on the set next to you. Mark watched silently as you poured yourself a glass of water. “I had to stay late and then I missed my usual bus” You spoke between mouthfuls. “Todays just be wild, I’m sorry I kept you waiting”
“It’s ok!” He insisted, smiling as he watched you calm down. Something about the chaos was comforting and familiar to him. He was sick of putting on an act in front of women who assumed they were better than him. Today seemed different for him. “You’re here now so that's all that matters, you know?”
It didn’t take long to destress from your hectic work day with Mark. Words flowed freely between the two of you. He laughed away all your work problems while you laughed at his cheesy jokes. Soon you were settled in at a nice pace of conversation, waiting for the young waiter to bring your food over. First arrived Mark's burger and fries, he waited patiently for your food to arrive before he started eating. Then you watched him return with a large bowel sat upon a plate.
“You know, I’ve never seen someone order soup on a first date” He gave you a mischievous smile, a sign that he wasn’t actually judging. It was a comfort to be around someone who communicated so easily through their body. As a lawyer, it was easy to see when someone was lying with their body language. But not Mark.
“Nothing better than soup on a cold day!” Finally, he arrived at your table, plate in one hand as he placed down your food. The young man watched as you reached for your bowl, watched as you offered to take it from him, thanking him as he had done so much for you. But he watched silently, he didn’t say a word about the temperature of the bowl. “Oh fuck!”
As soon as your hands touched the ceramic your fingers went up in flames. Although not literally, you could feel the fire course through your body. Your hands flew up and away from the bowl, desperately escaping from the heat that had burned you. In doing so it's your turn to watch silently, watching as the dish leaves the waiter's hand and lands on the table. Not only does the scorching hot liquid drip onto your lap, but you also watch as it drips onto Mark's side as well. He jumps up with a yelp, his legs burning. You stay put, eyes shut. At least you have the pain to focus on. Anything other than the embarrassment you feel build up in your chest. You’ll take the fire over the looks of pity from other customers. The blisters over dealing with your date who you had just spilled soup on,
“I’m so sorry” The young waiter was just as embarrassed, panicking at what your reaction would be. But he didn’t stay long enough to see it. “I’ll get you something to clean up right away”
Shut. Your eyes stayed shut. For as long as you kept them close, the longer this wasn’t real. But it came creeping up faster than you could handle, and soon a sob left your mouth. Your body shakes as you begin to cry. The tears had to fight their way out as you kept your eyes firmly shut.
“Y/N?” Finally opening your eyes, you saw how bright and wide Marks had become. Standing by your side, mouth slightly agar. “Are you ok?”
“Yeah” Your voice was the quietest it had felt in a long time. You watched as the young waiter rushed back, damp cloth in hand.
“Oh sorry” Mark stepped out of the way, allowing the waiter to aid you in your cleaning. “I’m gonna, you know, head to the bathroom”
You nodded, the nervousness in his voice a clear sign he wasn’t returning but you didn’t want him to. Embarrassment consumed you and you were reminded why you didn’t date.
The peace that naturally came with Hyunjin was appreciated more than ever after your date last night. The pressure of work sent away as he walked past your office, smiling and waving at you despite his late arrival. It gave you a laugh, a small break from the pending work in front of you. But moving your hand in the wrong direction had you wincing, the paper folder rubbed against the raw blisters on your palm. A painful memory of the embarrassment you endured. You allowed yourself a moment, sitting with the pain, living with it.
A knock at your door brings you away from your thoughts, Hyunjins head poking through the door. “Is this a bad time?”
“No, come in” You gesture to the seat across from you, pulling your hand away and into your lap to try to soothe the ache of it away. “What can I do for you Hyunjin?”
“I just need to speak to you about the Kettleman case, is that ok?” Every time he spoke, each word was so perfectly chosen. Delicately leaving his mouth and waiting to see your reaction before he spoke again. “He wants to meet with you again, something about the deal you offered him. I told him he could speak to me about it before setting up a meeting but he was pretty insistent on seeing you”
As he spoke your ears rang, and you couldn’t resist the temptation to press into the blister forming on your hand. But the pain was too distracting and you could barely focus on his words. “Overall he was really difficult, I told him I’ll call him back, or have you call him back to sort out a meeting time with him. So when would it work for you?”
Finally taking a breath and opening your eyes, you looked at him as he waited for your reply. “Which one was the Kettleman case again?”
“Y/N are you ok?” You were off your game today, upset over your failed date and hurting from the now-open blister on your hand. Everything was out of your thoughts.
“Please just remind me” He licks his lips nervously, unsure what to make of your behaviour. Regardless, he follows your words.
“Mr Kettleman is, well was, our state treasurer. But he’s been accused of embezzling $1.6 million of government funds” As he speaks, he searches through the manilla folder on his lap. Eventually, he settles on a single piece of paper and holds it for you to grab.
“Ah the Kettlemans” You reach for the paper, not thinking about the burn on your hand. But quickly it comes back to the front of your mind and you flinch at the contact. Unluckily for you, it doesn’t go unnoticed by Hyunjin.
“Your hand? What happened?” He quickly stands, making his way to your side of the desk. Without thinking he takes your hand in his own, but he doesn't get a good look before you snatch it away.
“Hyunjin, please. This is not appropriate and while I appreciate your concern I am ok” He looks down at you blankly, ignoring your anger.
“Can you drop it?”
“Excuse me?”
“The whole boss act! I’m sick of you pretending you don’t care about me or even that you don’t know me” Hands on his hips, he steps away to empathise with his words. “I know it's strange that I work for you now, but you can’t just pretend that we're strangers”
You clench your teeth, remaining silent. He hasn't convinced you but you weren't fighting to get him to.
“Please just let me see your hand. I’m your friend and I care about you ok?” You stay put and he takes this as an ok to try and see your hand again. You don’t stop him. “Ouch, how’d this happen?”
“I don’t want to talk about it” If he was to treat you like a child, you weren't going to have an adult conversation with him.
“Alright let me get something for this” He rubs over the back of your hand before leaving it to rest on your desk. Once he returns he brings over your spare chair. “This is going to hurt a little, ok?”
His long fingers tickle the surface of your skin, a white cream being rubbed into your wound. Your heart stops at the intimacy of the situation. One hand holds onto you steady, the other circling the skin of your palm. Skin to skin, touching your open wound but only to heal, not to hurt. Satisfied, he pulls away before covering it up with a plain bandaid and finally meeting your glossy eyes.
“Thank you Hyunjin”
07/07/2022
After the disaster that was your date with Mark, you had high hopes for how tonight would go. It literally could not get any worse. And it already was going better. Work didn’t keep you late, Hyunjin even walked you to your car. You felt comfortable with him once more. Still distant as you were in your younger years but with that same connection, this time you knew he felt it as well.
Without being late, you had time to put yourself together. Make yourself feel real again after spending all day in corporate hell. You weren’t dressing to impress, the date was still casual but anything was better than your tight slacks and buttoned shirt. There was once a piece of work you couldn’t shake off your mind.
It always was the little things with Hyunjin. Back in high school, it was making your order before you got there. It was taking time to help elderly customers who couldn't read the menu. Saving your life. And just like then, it was the little things now at work that had him sticking in your mind. He remembered your coffee orders despite him not making it for years. Clients would always tell you about the polite young man who greeted them on the phone. You were just hoping he wouldn’t need to save you again. The debt you already held to him could never be repaid and it weighed down your soul.
A text was sent to Beomgyu letting him know that you were on your way before you exited your place. The bar where you were meeting wasn’t far from your house, barely a ten-minute walk, but you wanted the time to think. Need the time to be early to ensure your mistakes aren't repeated. It wasn't long before you arrived, had your ID checked and sat waiting for the brown-haired boy to arrive.
Yet seven o’clock came and went. You had triple-checked that your message went through, yet no reply. Nothing saying ‘omw!’ or ‘sorry I might be running late tonight” (although you had forgotten to give that same curiosity to Mark). So you sat and waited because you had been Beomgyu in this situation. Yet tonight you needed to be the Mark that waited.
Seven thirty arrived, the barkeep asked if he could get you a drink and you felt as if that may be the only interaction with a human that you get tonight. Another message sent was another message left unanswered. The anxiety you swore up and down to your therapist that you didn’t feel started creeping back into your life. A mixture of guilt and betrayal. Guilt for the night you left Mark waiting, only to waste his time further. Guilt for when you left Han for college. While guilt was something you were too familiar with. Betrayal was something new. You were now in the position of the hurt. The one who was allowed to be upset. But you weren’t upset at Beomgyu, instead upset at yourself for all the times you had betrayed the ones around you.
One more time you would check your phone, and if you still had no response then that was it. Your heart was still held high before you saw no notifications on your screen. And then it came crashing into your guilt, a new wave of anxiety washing over you, a tear to match. You were quick to wipe it away, mind trying to focus on anything but the ache that you were experiencing. With one hand tightly around your phone and the other swirling the ice in your glass, you found yourself staring down at the boy's profile. Analysing every photo, every aspect of his life that he shared online. Were you not good enough for him? Did he think that little of you that he forgot?
You watched his profile update in real-time, a new photo on his tag displayed him out at dinner with a group of his friends. Stood up. You had been stood up. Your entire life you thought that was just something that happened in movies. Some way to break the protagonist down just so their friend, the real love interest of the story, can bring them back up. But there was no love interest in your story. All you had was a dating app full of men not willing to take that chance with you. And there was nothing you could do about it.
You watched the ice melt with every round it made in the glass, your finger became numb to the sensation although you knew there would be a mark from where it rested on the rim of the cup. There was nothing to hold you steady, the only sensation to ground you was beginning to melt away at your own doing. Your own fingertips wore it down and soon you’d be alone again.
09/09/2022
“Thank you for your time today” You pressed your lips together, cringing at the fake voice you put on anytime you were on the phone. After years of working with clients, you were hoping you would have gotten used to it. But you continued to dread each phone call you had to make. “I’ll have someone get back to you shortly”
Finally ending the call allowed you a breather. Hands resting against your forehead for just a moment before you move on to the next thing. And the next thing always seemed to be Hyunjin. His rapid knocking on the door became a sound you were all too familiar with.
“One second” You called out to him, face still hidden. He didn’t listen to your request, quickly entering your office with confidence. Soon recoiling when he saw your position. “Or not”
With a sigh you pull yourself up, washing away any grief you were feeling and becoming workplace Y/N once more. “What can I help you with Hyunjin?”
“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt” He seemed genuinely remorseful, trying to back out of the awkward situation he had created. “I can go”
“Just stay, tell me what you want” The ringing of his hands made you realise this may not be work-related, was something wrong with Hyunjin?
“It’s not important, I’ll come back” He gave a polite smile and turned back to the door to leave.
“Please wait” You stood, leaning across the table to speak to him. “You can talk to me it’s ok”
“I know” He smiled sadly, chewing on his lip. “Later?”
You gave it up, dropping back to your seat defeated. Hyunjin left you alone. That seemed to be a theme with you recently. You had never cried at work. But the warmth they provided down your face brought you some comfort.
The phone from your drawer buzzed. Although you would have scolded Hyunjin for using his phone during work hours, you couldn't resist the distraction from your overwhelming emotions.
Han Jisung added you as a friend!
Han Jisung sent you a message!
Never in your wildest dreams had you imagined that you would repair your relationship with Han. After you left Pryham he hasn't spoken to you. Despite the awful day you left him off on, he organised with your mum to give you a hug before you left. Not a word was spoken. But that tight hug was your goodbyes. And that was the last you saw of Han Jisung.
Neither of you reached out while you were away at university. You had no idea if he moved out of town or even moved out of his parent's home. You didn’t care to know. For years you lived peacefully without Han, an idea that once seemed painful to even think about. But here you were, sitting across from him at a lively cafe laughing harder than you had in years.
But there were only so many old memories you could talk about, only so many years of catching up before silence filled the space between the two of you. An awkward sip of your drink and fidgeting with your hair before Han finally speaks.
“Y/N” He swallowed hard, looking at you briefly before staring back down at your hands. “I’m really sorry for everything”
He watched silently waiting for your reaction, but when you didn’t show anything other than the tears that began to form in your eyes he continued. “I didn’t understand what it meant when you were leaving, I just couldn’t understand why you would leave me in such a shit town”
“Is this why you messaged me? To say sorry?”
“Maybe?” He watched your face drop, hands reaching out to hold yours in a panic. “You were my closest friend, my only friend at some point and I want you to know that I am sorry”
Once again silence fills the air, your mouth is twisted, unsure of how to feel about all of this. The tears that rolled down your face weren’t tears of sadness, they weren't tears of anything. You were simply overwhelmed by Han once again. He takes the silence as a bad sign, struggling to put together his words.
“I just wanted to see you and talk to you, because I miss you so much, and I want you to know that I-” His head drops, and you watch as pain crosses his face. He grunts to bear with it, before looking back up at you and smiling, the tears you wear are now on his face as well. “I think I should go Y/N”
“What?” The both of you stand, Han to get away, and you to chase. With a nod, he collects his things and leaves. His steps are light, he almost floats away unaware of how his words have affected you. “Han wait”
You weren’t the most receptive to his feelings or words but you have never imagined he would have just left. You don’t want to run, it feels wrong to run after someone in the streets. But your steps are fast, trying to catch up with him through the crowd of people that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere. You’d only been walking for a few minutes before you lost him. Your head spins as crowds of people swarm past you. Disorientated and out of breath, you feel yourself begin to panic.
A numbness overtakes your fingers, increasing with each beat of your racing heart. You can’t think, all you can feel is the burning of your lungs from your lack of air. You’d never felt so lost before, everyone has left you while simultaneously you're surrounded. It's both lonely and crushing. Just when you think you won’t be able to take another breath, a warm hand makes itself at home on your shoulder. The touch is grounding and you almost choke on the air you manage to gulp down.
You find the strength in the familiar dark eyes that seem to appear whenever you need them the most. “Y/N?”
“Hyunjin?”
In the safety of your apartment, you’re able to calm down enough to talk to Hyunjin. He insisted on walking you home which you needed, him staying to listen was something you wanted and he seemed more than happy to. He sat in the armchair across from you, elbows leaning against his knees as he listened intently.
“I don’t know what was wrong with Han” Your nose was still running, your nerves still on fire as you fiddled with the tissues you held onto. “I mean, you saw us at school right? We used to be best friends”
“People change Y/N, it’s been a long time since you saw him last” He spoke calmly, choosing each word with precision so as to not upset you further.
“Yeah but he reached out to me, you know? Why reach out to say sorry and then back out of the apology? Unless he was just trying to make himself feel better, maybe he didn’t mean it so when I didn't accept it right away he got upset” Your brain was running laps trying to put together the pieces of today.
“Can I ask what he was apologising for?”
“Nothing, it was dumb” You put the tissue down, reaching to rub your face. “I’m not upset over it anymore, I was gonna accept his apology. He just hadn't finished talking so I didn’t want to interrupt!”
“Why are you so upset then?” You pull your face away to look at him, his usual charm was there. But he felt so empty. You shake the thought away, trying to think of an answer that would please his overanalyzing brain.
“I’m lonely Hyunjin. Like really lonely” You laugh to hide the embarrassment of it all. People joke about being lonely, spending all their time watching Netflix instead of hanging out with their friends. But true loneliness was different. It was painful to experience and embarrassing to admit. “I’ve tried to go on dates but they never work out so I was excited to finally have a friend”
“I didn’t take you as the dating type”
“I’m not, I’ve been on a total of two dates this year and each one was comically bad”
“Do you care to share?”
“What are you, my therapist?”
“I didn’t take you as the therapy type either”
Sinking back into your couch with a sigh, you just shrug back at Hyunjin. “Maybe I’m just destined to be alone”
“Don’t think like that” His tone changed from concern to trying to cheer you, reaching out to give your knee a rub. “Whatever happened on those dates wasn’t on you, it just wasn’t the right guy”
“Maybe not” You weren’t in the mood to talk about your sad dating life much longer. But you felt bad being so defensive over your life, maybe this is why you were alone?
“You know that time I came to work with a burn on my hand?” You decide to humour him with a couple of stories. “That was from a date”
“That wasn’t on you though was it?” He smiles with you, allowing the change in tone. “That was on that waiter for not warning you about the hot plate”
“I guess” You laugh, thumb running over the small scar that sits on your palm from your date with Mark. But you stop and so does your heart. How did Hyunjin know that? He doesn't see anything wrong, continuing to enjoy your company even when neither of you are speaking. Your eyes dart from him to the door and you decide it's safe to ask. “How’d you know that?”
“Know what?”
“About the waiter? I didn’t tell you how I burnt my hand” You see his eyes shift in panic but his smile only grows. An uneasy combination that starts your panicking again. “Were you following me?”
“I think you’re mistaken, you told me the story you just hadn't said you were on a date at the time” You shake your head, trying to process how he knew. You remember that day so clearly, the feeling of his skin rubbing over the raw part of your hand burnt into your mind. He seems so calm but you can feel the tears starting in your eyes again.
“I did not tell you anything about it Hyunjin” You stand, trying to get away from him. “I know for a fact that I didn’t tell you, so how did you know?”
He stands but doesn’t move from his position in front of the chair, only watching silently as you back away from him. Each rise of your chest bought you more discomfort, the two of you stood silently staring each other down. While you were experiencing your fight-or-flight instinct for the second time that day, Hyunjin just seemed sad.
“I had to do it Y/N” You had seen Hyunjin happy, you had seen him be charming, you had even seen him just blank. To most, seeing someone so empty would freak them out. But you had never seen Hyunjin mad or sad. Seeing him act this way now was scarier than that day he saved your life.
“What do you mean ‘you had to do it’?” You had only thought he had been following you, which was bad enough, but thinking he had something to do with it only made the dread in your stomach worse.
“Han. Mark. Beomgyu. Then Han again. I had to intervene”
“What? Had to intervene?” You can barely process what you're hearing, let alone think of a response. All you can speak are questions you know you’ll never get an answer to. “How do you know their names Hyunjin?”
Silence.
“Hyunjin answer me!” You watch as he begins to cry, the raising of your voice shaking something within him.
“If I show you, will you forgive me?”
“I don’t-” Your voice breaks itself off, the mixture of emotions in your gut making it impossible to think.
Without saying another word, Hyunjin excuses himself from where he had previously been frozen in place. His back against the blank wall of your living room. He shuts his eyes and takes a breath before you see the impossible. Shadows appear behind him, but not of any human form. Wings that span far past his arm's reach are cast onto the walls of your apartment. It’s your turn to freeze. Mind racing as you try to take in what you're witnessing. Once he opens his eyes, they disappear, you’re almost convinced you were just seeing things but the shit-eating grin he wears tells you otherwise.
“What- What does that mean?” No matter what you just saw, you fail to understand how it relates to the situation you currently find yourself in.
“I’m your guardian angel”
“My what?”
“Guardian angel, you know, like in the movies and stuff”
“Get the fuck out of my apartment” The confusion you felt is replaced by rage. You don’t care to hear him out, any reason he may have for playing this joke on you will go unheard.
“Wait Y/N, I’m serious!” You shake your head, refusing to believe anything he says but you don’t get another second to think until he’s suddenly in your face. “How do you think I got here?”
“Hyunjin” Your voice is quiet, fear eats you up as he stands so close. The Hyunjin you thought you knew is no longer there, a strange man stands by you instead.
“No, don't be scared!” He can sense your every emotion, his hands grip your shoulders trying to calm you. “I’m just trying to show you I’m telling the truth! Think about that day at the theatre right? No way any human could be got there as fast as I did”
“Hyunjin please” A madman was in your home, gripping you hard enough to leave bruises and you couldn't do anything about it apart from beg for him to leave. That didn’t seem to align with Hyunjins plans.
“Y/N just listen to me!” He lets go of your shoulders and steps away, though not far enough for you to leave the wall he had backed against. “Don’t you see how good this is!”
“Good?! In what way is this good?”
“We can be with each other now, without any secrets”
“You think I want to be with you?” You force him to step away from you, finger jabbing into his chest. Although tears continue to flow down your face, laughter now joins them. “You’re fucking crazy!”
“I’m not crazy!” He snaps right back at you. “How else can I prove I am an angel, your angel?”
“That's not the issue Hyunjin. The issue is that you’ve ruined all my relationships! And now you work with me? You’ve ruined the only thing I had!”
“I didn’t ruin anything Y/N, they weren’t right for you. We were made for each other, it has to be us”
“I don’t want you Hyunjin! Especially not if you’re gonna force it, let me figure that out myself! I- I don’t want you micromanaging my life Hyunjin, can’t you see how insane that is?” He shakes his head, his tears breaking him down further. Your roles have reversed as he quietly begs for you to stop. “I want to live! I want to date and have my heart broken. I want friends, I want a job where you aren’t there”
“I had to” He’s no louder than a whisper, but he isn’t speaking for you, instead he’s trying to convince himself that he’s done nothing wrong.
“I don’t care Hyunjin, I just want you to leave”
“I can’t” It’s his turn to panic, when he looks at you his eyes are full of fear but you fail to understand where it's coming from. “If I leave now, you’ll forget me. Humans are forbidden to know about creatures like me. If I leave, everything will be forgotten ”
“Good” You spit the word at him, furious at the way he has made your life worse, furious at the way he thinks he deserves your acceptance. “I don’t want to ever see you again”
“I’m not leaving Y/N, I- I- I love you and I’m not leaving” He stands like a child in the middle of your living room. Tears flow down his face but he’s barely crying. He just stands and watches you, refusing to give in.
“Well, I hate you Hyunjin” You watch him swallow back a cry at your words. “And if you won’t leave then I will”
As you go to walk past him he grabs your arm, grip much stronger than before. If the wings and teleporting weren’t enough to convince you of his powers, his inhuman strength was, you cry out in pain. “No! You can’t leave!”
“You're hurting me!” Your begging is more desperate than before, the pain becoming unbearable as he crushes your arm. “Let go please!”
“But then you’ll leave” His soft eyes find yours, lips broken and chewed as he tries to find himself a loophole in the situation he's put himself in.
“Let me” He didn’t yell at you so you don’t yell back. Trying to find peace in the situation.
“Y/N you have to understand that I can’t”
“Are we gonna stand like this forever then?” He doesn’t respond, all reasoning goes past him. So instead you put your hands together and begin to pray.
You pray to the heavens above for help. You pray that justice can find its way into your life and punish Hyunjin for the damage he has caused. You pray that he is no longer the man to watch over you. And just when you begin to lose hope that anything holy could be on your side, his grip loosens and although it is still painful, it is human. You make eye contact with him one more, and terror makes its way over his face one last time before he collapses.
For the first time, Hyunjin wakes up. Never in his life had he slept and he never wishes to again. A burning pain on his upper back from what he assumes is the hard wooden floor below him. But when he opens his eyes and sees the panic in your eyes, he begins to believe it's from something else.
“You’re bleeding Hyunjin” You can barely stomach the blood, unsure of what to do as he bleeds out onto the floor of your apartment. He manages to peel himself out of the sticky mess, his hand reaching back to feel the open wound that sits on his shoulder. His heart sinks even further when he reaches and feels a matching wound on the opposite side.
“My wings” Defeated is the only way to describe Hyunjin in this situation. He had lost his power, his status, his purpose. “What did you do?”
“I prayed” You look just as broken as him, sorrow present in your eyes. “I didn’t know this would happen Hyunjin, I’m sorry”
Despite the constant distress he had put you through your entire life, you helped him up. You go to leave for the first aid kit but he stands to join you. If you leave, you’ll forget. Although you wouldn’t mind forgetting right now, the grief in his eyes is enough to guilt you into remembering for now. You do your best to tend to his wounds as he sits crying. A grown man bleeding and crying in your bathroom wasn’t the plans you had for tonight and it makes you incredibly uncomfortable having him in your house. But you couldn't leave him now. So you allow him to stay, and the two of you lay side by side in your bed, not touching but close enough for comfort.
The night stays silent, you can’t sleep knowing that once you do, everything will change forever. Hyunjin won’t be a part of your life, Sam will be forgotten. “Hyunjin?”
“Yeah?”
“What happens now?”
“You forget” His voice is the same monotone you're used to from him. He doesn’t sugarcoat his words. “You forget about me and you get a new angel now that I’m human”
“I’m sorry” Tears roll from your eyes down the side of your head, soaking the sheets below you.
“Everything I did for you” He sighs and you know whatever he says next is going to enrage you. Nothing he did was ever for you, it was for him. “And you just threw it away? I sacrificed so much for you Y/N”
His crying had only just calmed but he began again, turning away from you and sobbing into your pillow to hide his pain.
“I’m sorry” It’s the only words you manage to spill from your lip, no matter how you felt, you couldn't express it properly. It wasn’t worth it knowing this would all be wiped clear from your mind. You just wanted it to be over with. “I’m going to the store, when I’m back, please be gone”
He sits up but it’s too late, you’ve made up your mind. Yet you stall at the door to your bedroom, knowing once you leave the room, your life will change forever. One last time you look back and take in his dark eyes, eyes you once considered a comfort in the chaos of your life. The chaos that he was now the centre of.
“Goodbye Hyunjin” And with that, you stepped away. It was the last time he would ever get to see you look at him with love. The next time you saw him, he would be a stranger.
For him, this was love at last sight.
Work was no longer entertainment for Hyunjin. Work was now essential. It wasn’t that he didn’t know how to look after himself, but for the first time, he had to think about comfort, food and hygiene. It was a difficult adjustment but if it meant he could continue to see you every day, he would.
The first day back was the most painful, having to be reintroduced to someone who he loved so dearly and for you to look at him as if he was a stranger. In your mind he was, and he had to accept that. But what he couldn’t accept is your behaviour in the following weeks. He no longer held the power to intervene on any dates you may or may not be going on. But he knows you too well.
He knows when you had a good night and when you had a bad night. But when the good nights started becoming more frequent, he knew it was over. His suspicion got confirmed when a man he had never seen before walked through the elevator doors on the floor he worked on, the floor you worked on. His eyes immediately went to you, heartbreaking when he saw you light up at the man. He assumed it was bad and was greeted with the worst when you meet the man with a kiss. He called in sick for the rest of the week.
Could you blame him?
Hyunjin's purpose was to protect, care and love Y/N. And he could no longer do that. So instead he prayed. He prayed until his knees bleed and his hands grew calloused. Until the heavens could no longer ignore his thoughts. His wish? To make sure Y/N never found love if it wasn’t from him.
Y/N's purpose was to be protected, cared and loved for by the heavens. Yet she was no longer protected the way she once was. Despite the efforts of her new guardian, she was left alone. She never prayed after Hyunjin. Never once thought of him as more than a young intern trying to make his way. Never would she think to love him. Her memory was lost and so was their love.
For Hyunjin, this was love at ever and ever sight.
#k-labels#kflixnet#hearttoheartvdaycollab#stray kids#skz#hyunjin#stray kids x reader#stray kids angst#skz x reader#skz angst#hyunjin x reader#hyunjin angst
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By: Ricky Gervais
Published: Feb, 2008
I loved Jesus. He was my hero. More than pop stars. More than footballers. More than God. God was by definition omnipotent and perfect. Jesus was a man. He had to work at it. He had temptation but defeated sin. He had integrity and courage. But He was my hero because He was kind. And He was kind to everyone. He didn't bow to peer pressure, or tyranny or cruelty. He loved you. He didn't care who you were. He loved you. What a guy. I wanted to be just like Him.
One day when I was about 8 years old, I was drawing the crucifixion as a part of my bible studies homework. I loved art too. And nature. I loved how God made all the animals. Yhey were also perfect. Unconditionally beautiful. I was an amazing world.
I lived in a very poor, working-class estate in an urban sprawl called Reading, about 40 miles west of London. My father was a laborer an my mother was a housewife. I was never ashamed of poverty. It was almost noble. Also, everyone I knew was in the same situation, and I had everything I needed. School was free. My clothes were cheap and always cleaned and ironed. And Mum was always cooking. She was cooking the day I was drawing Jesus on the cross.
I was sitting at the kitchen table when my brother came home. He was 11 years older than me, so he would have been 19. He was smart as anyone I knew, but he was too cheeky. He would answer back and get into trouble. I was a good boy. I went to church and believed in God--what a relief for a working-class mother. You see, growing up where I did, mums didn't hope as high as their kids growing up to be doctors; the just hoped their kids didn't go to jail. So bring them up believing in God and they'll be good and law-abiding. It's a perfect system. Well nearly. 75% of Americans are God-fearing Christians; 75% of prisoners are God-fearing Christians. 10% of Americans are atheists; 0.2% prisoners are atheists.
But anyway, there I was, happily drawing my hero when my big brother Bob asked, "Why do you believe in God?" Just a simple question. But my mum panicked. "Bob," she said, in a tone that meant "shut up." Why was that a bad thing to ask? If there was a God and my faith was strong, it didn't matter what people said.
Oh...hang on. There is no God. He knows it, and she knows it deep down. It was as simple as that. I started thinking about it and asking more questions, and within the hour, I was an atheist.
Wow. No God. If Mum Had lied to me about God, had she lied to me about Santa? Yes, of course but who cares? The gifts kept coming. And so did the gifts of my new found atheism.
The gifts of truth, science, nature. The real beauty of this world. Not a world by design, but one by chance. I learned of evolution...a theory so simple and obvious that only England's greatest genius could have come up with it. Evolution of plants, animals, and us...with imagination, free will, love, and humor. I no longer needed a reason for my existance, just a reason to live. And imagination, free will, love, humor, fun, music, sports, beer and pizza are all good enough reasons for living.
But living an honest life--for that you need the truth. That's the other thing I learned that day, the truth, however shocking or uncomfortable, in the end leads to liberation and dignity.
I hope I haven't offended anyone with this article. Okay, that's a lie.
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i've been rereading weak hero season 2 since the latest chapter dropped and i have some things to say about donald
spoilers under the cut
okay first of all i am so fucking pissed at seopass😭😭i can't really say much about the storytelling aspect of choosing to allow donald to die but honestly it does feel very sudden and just unfair to his character. perhaps the suddenness is my reaction because all this time it seemed like he just couldn't die, then he had had the whole arc in the final battle where we finally see a vulnerable side of him and get his full backstory, then all of a sudden he dies?? it just feels so incomplete, like the build up was for nothing🙁🙁🙁.
second of all, i'm only realising just how sad his backstory is now that i'm rereading it.
it's not just about his mother being ill, his father being abusive, and being bullied in school but also the loss of innocence in young donald. at first he was so sweet and cute, but by the time he's thirteen, he's also got a whole baby gang going, beating people up and even doing breaking and entering in one instance, taking his step father's money. then he exposes the dirt on his ex teacher and had myles joo and his boys beat him up, and smash his car outside of the school.
it also reminds me of how much donald has grown- now he would never b&e or smash an adult's car so recklessly (though ofc he did it originally knowing he couldn't get the police called on him). though still heavily involved with delinquents, violence and crime, his methods have refined as he grew, and you can see him become more calculated and less uncouth. despite the maturity of his actions at 13, in a way they're still childish, and it's a reminder that even if he's acting tough he's still a baby🙁🙁
while i was glad to watch those people get their comeuppance, i honestly felt so heartbroken watching their callous and flippant nature to crime. like, he literally has a baby face!!! he's like 5'0!!! and he's here stomping people in alleyways and committing burglary?!!! it reminded me of kaz brekker from SOC for some reason, who was innocent and naive till he had to grow up at 12 or 13 and started hustling people in gambling dens and getting in trouble with the law.
it hurts to watch how cruelly he was treated by his teachers and his schoolmates because of his poverty, and how no one did anything about it because it was just normal to them that in a school full of rich kids, it was just a given that donald was considered less than trash. then at night he was kicked out by his step father so he could cheat and drink and he had to wander around yeongdeungpo all on his own in the cold, hungry, and huddle under an apartment block?? ARE YOU JOKING😭😭
he changed so much due to the circumstances of his situation and he grew into something no one should ever have to. he isn't just strong and smart and always five steps ahead becaude of his natural talent (though that definitely helped), but because he had to be. doing badly has never been a choice for him. he needs it to survive. i've always liked donald, and i've always suspected this about his character, but hearing it be confirmed just makes me like him more.
it's so sad realising how everything about him was manufactured to fit his image- his piercings, his hair, his clothes, his tattoos, his image, the way he talks- he didn't even LIKE any of them, but they just became a part of who he was nevertheless. thinking about the way he found his tattoos repulsive when they were all over his body, and were the first things he saw whenever he looked in the mirror must've been so painful to him. but he probably thought being affected by it made him weak so🙁.
and finally, the end where it shows his attachment and love for his inner child who was never loved or taken care by anybody and had to fend for his own. the image of the older donald, covered in tattoos taking care of his small, crying younger self is so powerful😭😭like look at this i wanna kms
i wonder in another life how donald na would turn out if none of these things happened to him🙁🙁he wanted to be a NASA engineer you know🙁🙁🙁😭😭😭he had his own dreams
other things that i noted were that donald actually changes in public a lot. like seriously a lot....first on the rooftop then in the library, like this guy was just stripping at every opportunity.
and also that him not inviting gilshin and jimmy bae into the union was done on purpose as a technique to make them more willing to join? what?? that's so smart😭😭
i also found out this way that myles was a member of the union before it was even called the union?? like they rode together for three years and donald still beat his ass like damn! he is unsentimental.
i'm going to write something about the funeral chapter but that deserves its own post
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That Eminem song is such a good Fizz Core idea though.
I ain't never had no trophy or no motherfuckin' ribbon (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Fuck the system, I'm that nigga, bend the law, cut the rules
I'm about to risk it all, I ain't got too much to lose (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
Y'all been eatin' long enough, it's my turn to cut the food (yeah)
Pass the plate (yeah), where my drink (hol' up)?
This my day (yeah, yeah), lucky you, fuck you too, woo!
Fizz breaking the barriers of society and clawing for his "place at the table" would have been master class storytelling for Oops. Him and Striker should have had so much more in common in this regard and it would have been so fascinating to watch.
This is payback in a way (yeah), I regret it that I did it
I done won a couple Grammys, but I sold my soul to get 'em (ah)
Wasn't in it for the trophies (nah), just the fuckin' recognition
Fuck's the difference? I'm that cracker, bend the law, fuck the rules
Man, I used to risk it all, now I got too much to lose
I've been eatin' long enough, man, my stomach should be full
I just ate, licked the plate, my buffet, lucky me, fuck you think? (Woo!)
This is just the Mammon episode in a single bridge. The buyer's remorse from Fizz having fought so damn hard to get to the top only to feel like it's never enough. Not to be more, but just to keep going, it's like you go from starving to all that success but you have to keep doing what you're doing because the fear of losing everything is literally the other side of a coin. You risk everything to get everything but now risk is dangerous and scary, losing everything you fought for is frightening. A failure is the worst thing that someone could be.
But the whole "Fuck you have think" feels like he should be happy and celebrating his success but instead maintaining that success is a constant pressure that keeps him from ever being able to enjoy what he worked for.
And actually comin' from humble beginnings
I'm somewhat uncomfortable winning
I wish I could say, "What a wonderful feeling!
We're on the upswing like we're punchin' the ceiling!"
And this is that insecurity that Vivienne completely lacked. We never saw Fizz and Blitzo actually grow up and we see Fizz has always been on a pedestal so it feels weird to think that he's all that weighted down by his "humble beginnings". He wouldn't be uncomfortable winning because his whole life we've been shown is just him "winning". We never see him or Blitz actually struggle.
Hell even the idea of IMP (Blitz, Moxxie and Millie) struggling feels more like an aesthetic and not an actual state of being for them. The idea of money being an issue kinda flies out the door when no one seems to really be struggling in their run down little apartments. It gives the look of poverty and the working class without actually having the depth of the struggle being addressed. Even the pilot framed Moxxie and Millie's situation as quaint. Like the upper class looking at the struggling poors and going "how cute that they bond by cooking together" as they sit down to a meal by their hired chef.
Fizz is never depicted as feeling out of place in luxury or on stage or anywhere really. He himself looks down on poverty and literally doesn't think twice about some gang member dying and his corpse being eaten to bones by his dogs, but the whole sociopolitical aspect, which wouldn't have to be considered if Vivienne hadn't made it a thing in the story, is ignored. That gang activity is directly related to poverty and a need for opportunity and community in societies where those do not come easy is totally ignored.
That things like income, standard of living, education, safety, and healthcare all directly impact the presence of gang activity, but it's funny when the poor people are interrupted in their micro political warfare of oppression and anger being misdirected due to the abject inaccessibility of the wealthy aristocracy and some guy just dies the most pathetic of deaths because he breathed in confetti(??? A sparkler flair?? TF was that anyway?). And him being dumb (because he's poor) and dying pointlessly (because he's poor) and has his body desecrated (because he's poor) is the joke.
But we should only care SOMETIMES about poverty. Like it only is a bad thing when it can be used for the world's smallest violin piece for our main characters (they are fine. It just shows the extreme disconnect from working class and poverty Vivienne has because she thinks the look of being poor is the same as being poor and it feels fetishistic in its own right). So when Fizz is so massively successful and has always been this golden child destined to make it, oh but he used to be poor so he thinks he isn't good enough.
Like even Eminem, who actually came from poverty, shows how people ACTUALLY feel when they get to the top. It feels like a constant pressure to keep being good because you know the reality is your talent isn't why you are there, it is fucking luck. You got lucky. But because of that you have to work even harder because you need to keep entertaining the upper crusts so they don't throw you back out on the streets. When you lose, you lose big. It feels like the world is ending and you are prone to spirals, where You're sure your 15 minutes are up and everything is going to come crashing down. When your best wasn't good enough. But also having that extreme high of an ego. You were lucky. You are talented. You did make it. And in a lot of ways you feel like you fucking deserved it. You deserve it but also know you don't have control of it. It's this extreme high and low.
Vivienne enrages me as a human being. She uses oppression points as an aesthetic without actually empathetically connecting them to her story or characters. The fandom has done so much more with her work, but then because she likes a piece they act like it was HER idea. That one person who drew Alastor as mixed race only for Vivienne to like it and her chorus of barking seals to claim it like Viv was the one who made it when she never properly coded her character. He's white. That was a fan who did her job better and it still doesn't work for his character because of his time period and location. Mixed race marriages were illegal until 1967 and Louisiana didn't repeal it until 1972. In America there are no white passing black people. During slavery if a slave woman gave birth to a white child, that baby was white. They were not slaves, there were no white passing biracial slaves. They were white and either given for adoption or raised by the family. So for Alastor in 1930 Louisiana being this highly educated person running their own radio broadcast and being visibly black in any way? Good luck.
But we wanna act surprised when it's a wealthy white passing bleach blond woman from the east coast trying to claim minority points because her dad is El Salvadorian.
This analysis is fantastic, it really points out the issues with the writing. I’ll probably make more responses in a few reblogs because this has all been a long time coming.
Reminds me of Chaz being killed off for the crime of wanting money as well. He really didn’t deserve death holy shit. And Fizz working with Oz to kill another poor person while trying to escape is gross too. That whole episode was just falling on the floor and kissing the feathered asses of princes and kings.
Fizz has been called a sell out constantly because he actually is one, as you described. He sticks out terribly in the greed ring, which is practically his home town. Causing destruction to everyone there after leaving his stupid limo. I’d hate him too if I was an imp or hellborn.
And why you can’t trust a privileged rich person who feels like she came from humble beginnings (she really didn’t, sorry, she’s a literal millionaire) to tell a story about class struggles. Because now the most innocent morally good characters are all the rich people. Asmodeus and Fizz vs the evil glam sisters the lawyer guy, and Crimson, Loona vs Beelzebub, Blitz and IMP vs Stolas and Via. There are two incidents where Stolas attacks all four of them and wages his power and influence against them for upsetting him, and the audience says he’s like the parent and those four are like his small idiot children who deserve his reprimand because they’re wrong and he’s right. That is just plain gross.
I’m also really really itching to see striker and fizz interact and talk more. They’re so deeply different, with fizz being high end but deeply under confident and dependent on the wealthy for his self esteem, while striker relies heavily on inflated ego to keep going and has to be alone. And some people might disagree with me on it but they both have comfort animals too, Precious and Bombproof are their closest friends. And what’s more, fizz lost everything and nobody came to save him in that moment, and striker has lost everything too, possibly also due to Mammon going by his dialogue. And he has a real vendetta against Fizzarolli specifically. He was hired to hold him to ransom but really couldn’t keep from pointing weapons at and strangling him because of the ‘overbloated master’ (revealed in the next episode, Mammon) at the end he wanted fizz dead for a reason that was nothing to do with money. Striker is also part loan shark, a greed ring native species. Interesting!
Fizz was so unique because just like a court jester he sticks out, not quite the royalty, not quite the peasants either. But someone talented enough to be present in both spheres. If he’s literally the kings wife that just disappears. My favourite part of the episode was the moment he was in the crowd asking them if they’re sick of obeying their shitty bosses too. That’s the character we wanted. And him being backed by another, different royal, just took that moment away for me. We’re starting to see how Asmodeus and Fizzarolli actually aren’t perfect for each other. Ozzie praises how good fizz is and he keeps his spaces very exclusive, while fizz doesn’t want to see himself as superior to anybody.
What’s also bad. Is that mammon stole the money fizz earned. So now fizz has to downgrade himself into a glorified sugar baby in a very unstable secret relationship (this is stated by the characters in the show) Knowing your partner is ashamed to be seen with you and to love you has got to give someone an inferiority complex.
Mammon, Stella, and Andrealphus are beloved because they’re actual villains, and what actual aristocrats look more like in a racist society. Stolas and Ozzie still call people “imp” in a derogatory way and flaunt their wealth. Fizz doesn’t have integrity anymore if his only place of work now is a high end very exclusive venue that rich people can waltz in and out of but the poor quite literally get thrown out. What has fizz become? And if he’s been faking it all on stage, why?
Isn’t it so frustrating how little she seems to comprehend struggles? Her two big bads are working class men part of an oppressed caste, trying to survive and make a name for themselves. Just like IMP is supposed to be. And I’m fine with them being rivals and antagonists to a group on equal footing to them. What I’m not fine with is putting them against fucking aristocrats and having us pity the aristocracy?? You know what show did this class conflict so so much better? Arcane. Piltover vs the Under City. We have the snotty Pilties and the grimy under city dwellers, protagonists on both sides. With the pilties
the way Stolas and Asmodeus have been made unambiguously good hearted angels who’ve revolve around their obsessive love interests and have never done anything wrong ever in their lives
—-
The part where you speak about the circus guys. We…kindve almost do? There’s the implication that blitzø can’t make people laugh and he feels like that makes him worthless, while fizz has to jump in and make people laugh, and feels like he has to be perfect for them. He’s overworked even as a baby with multiple daily shows. Cash mentions their need for better food to Blitz, and the two kids had to spend all their savings to get to a concert
My problem is that it doesn’t follow the show don’t tell rule. I’d love if in the premiere we saw Blitzo wake up that morning and only have a few pieces of bread to eat, while in stolas mansion he has a massive breakfast spread prepared by his servants and complains about it. While blitzø is very confused and eating as fast as he can. Class struggles? Hello? But instead the show tries to pretend an aristocrat boy in an arranged marriage is sadder than a starving child labourer being fucking trafficked to make the rich boy feel better and stop having a tantrum.
As for Alastor oh my goood you’re so right because fucking he’ll pardon the pun, Viv fucked up majorly and showed the depth of her ignorance. I’ve recently found out that Alastor has Greek origins. He’s always been white with voodoo symbols because Viv thinks those are cool and creepy, and she just really likes that one Princess and the frog character.
The fandom and her Twitter warriors had to fight her battles for her, I actually feel sorry for them. But she herself can’t even give the black community the respect of apologising or even fuckin responding to them!!! She just likes the tweets of her defenders who are probably teens. Then these teens get the backlash she deserves. This is why PR managers exist!! She needs to step down at this point.
Actually, I’m not going to try argue with these fans anymore, they are being manipulated by her. Instead I have to keep asking them “if you can make this defensive statement for her, why can’t she say it herself?”
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Let's Make a KATABASIS Character!
hey yall! let's do something fun. im getting close to releasing KATABASIS, my folkpunk afterlife-crawl ttrpg, and i thought itd be fun to have us collectively stat up a character or three. so, to begin:
elaboration under the cut!
What does it mean to die to Violence?
Often, this is obvious. Murder, destruction, war. A sudden and brutal end to one’s life. Sometimes, though, violence is more nuanced. Systems of oppression and control are forms of violence, and grow ever more common with time. Your murderer doesn’t need to even know you existed.
What does it mean to die to Suffering?
This is some kind of awful circumstance beyond your control. A chronic disease, a lifetime of poverty, a swarm of vicious lies, that sort of thing. It tormented you, poisoned your every waking moment, and eventually it took everything from you. Now, even in death, you find it haunts you still.
What does it mean to die to Exhaustion?
This is most commonly old age. Your life has worn you through, and one day your body simply gives out. Overwork and exposure to the elements are possibilities, too, as are all the other little costs of living that build and build over time. We are all being worn down by our daily struggles, but some take it to heart more intensely than others.
What does it mean to die to Neglect?
People have many needs. Some are basic, like food, shelter, and safety. Others are more abstract, like love, support, decency, and understanding. Your needs were left unmet, and you withered on the vine.
What does it mean to die to Obsession?
Something got caught in your heart, and nothing you did could shake it loose. Maybe it was a dedication to art, or a passionate love affair, or a bloodthirsty vengeance. Eventually, you flung yourself fully into it, and it consumed you whole. Even now, it pulls at you, unsatisfied with a single mortal life. It wants more, and you want to feed it.
What does it mean to die to Misfortune?
Nothing. Your death was meaningless, more so even than most. Your death doesn’t reveal anything about who you are or what you did, likely because there wasn’t much to reveal.
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