#everything else came later
Photo
lift me up, hold me down.
prints
#our flag means death#our flag means gay#ofmd#blackbeard#edward teach#stede bonnet#izzy hands#quite literally in this case#just their hands are involved#this was made simply because i found a cool reference on pinterest#everything else came later#id like to think that this is the same chair in the favourite engraver piece too#not that im trying to set up continuity or anything#god knows i dont have the coherence to accomplish something like that#but yes#i liked drawing this a lot#i think izzys hand in eds hair is like#simultaneously loving and possessive and also cruel and limiting#while stedes hand in eds is this mutual understanding and agreement#i think if ed let himself get pulled up by stede hed be swung into a waltz#hm#yes#many thoughts#stillindigo art#this might be the last ofmd art for a little while#i just feel like im running out of ideas thats all#thank you though#to everyone#seriously#youre all so kind in this fandom
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i need everyone to see bay’s genius
#pedro pronoun is still making me laugh 4 hours later#spurs#jj came up with timo she/her and i came up with rupaul dragusin but everything else is bay 😁
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I dunno why but it's one of the funniest moments in TF:Exodus. Like, the way Megatron just ignores Shockwsve's words makes me think it wasn't the first time. Like "yeah, yeah, you might desire to conduct an inhumane experiment on me, but check out my new name".
But Shockwave and Soundwave are such good besties. No questions asked, just be who u wanna be.
Also my personal hc that Shockwave and Megatron met through Soundwave. 2waves already knew each other, cuz Shock used to patch Sound up. And after Megatronus fought Soundwave, the latter was very interested in his opponent, so he sent Laserbeak Rumble and Frenzy to spy on the best gladiator. He wasn't really happy with cassettes following him, but once they explained themselves he decided to meet with Soundwave again. After they've gotten closer and became brothers in arm, Sound decided to introduce gladiator doctor/unhumain scientist. Megatron really wasn't happy with Shockwave using gladiator's corpses for his own caprice. Yet he was still useful for the cause so he had to tolerate scientist. After all of them became kinda close. They had a very strange type of friendship, but it worked and no one complained.
#tfp#transformers exodus#transformers prime#transformers#maccadam#tfp soundwave#tfp megatron#tfp shockwave#but genuinely they all thought “primus I'm the only one sane here” for a long time but somehow they made it work#and it was a very hard time for Megatron to trust this new so called doctor#so for the majority of the first few operations Soundwave had to attend or else Megatron was gonna go patch himself up#SPOILERS FOR LATER CHAPTERS some part of me believes that the bombings of the amusement park and others was a collective work of three of em#Megatron planned everything#Soundwave found minicons who were brave enough to agree on this avanture through his connections#And Shockwave prepared boombooms for them to complete it using his knowledge in chemistry#also the part of me likes to think that MegaSound were genuinely upset when Starscream told them that Shocky died#and logically they were honestly happy once he came back#and also Megatron is really nice to both if them like really#he pushes everyone around yet he never even yells at them#tell ko to immediately fix Soundwave and says that 'he doesn't want to lose' shockwave again#and yeah it probably was just because only he could revive predacons but let me at least dream Megan has feelings apart from anger#megatron#soundwave#shockwave
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Every so often I dip into transformers fanfic (specifically bayverse) just because the concept of giant shape-shifting mechanical immortal robots just slaps so hard. All of the fics get so close but never quite scratch the itch I want, so here.
Cybertronian Sam Witwicky, vessel of the Allspark
A seeker, naturally, but I haven't decided on alts yet. Or a name (I like Rubicon, because of the doorway/point of no return/on a knifes edge between two worlds meaning and.. Also because the Allspark kinda looks like a rubics cube lmao)(but it doesn't sound quite right and I'd like to lean more into the idea of sacrifice maybe?)(or maybe something celestial or mythical for the space/alien/spark=stars metaphor... Apollo?).
I haven't seen it done, but I really like the idea of the Allspark using its own material to create the cybertronian body, given the total lack of actual resources it has (and needs). This would give Sam a very unique bronze/gold protoform instead of the usual grey/black metal, and eyes/optics the colour of sparks. The feather horn things were meant to be a lot smaller, but that was the smallest they got! And idk, I've grown to like them. A little nod to his organic origins. And the circles are supposed to be extra eyes. The boots I was delighted to find, they blend so well with the body and make it look like he's not bare lol. Because hero forge isn't quite that free with design (yet), please imagine a couple wheels by his ankles he can drop down to rollerblade on.
I had a ton of fun with the colours, I think it's my best one from scratch yet! It was so hard to keep from adding too much detail or clothing, and I did struggle with the sheer bulk of a typical cybertronian build. The pauldrons and scarf help with that, but he's intended to be pretty slight compared to the average anyway. In every continuity they're so, so bulky ToT. I might tinker with the proportions now I've finished the model! The spear... Well I'm a sucker for staffs, but it's not a cybertronian weapon unless it can slice or shoot something, preferably while transforming into something else. This one is also a laser gun, very energy intensive if you're not hooked into an infinite power source lmao. He's got a few emergency cannons in his arms, because... Why not?
Man, now I've made him, I want to write something for him so much... Must resist, must resist...
#transformers#transformers bayverse#sam witwicky#autobots#cybertronian#cybertron#hero forge#There's a lot of headcanons in here I've picked up from fics but I do want to hit up the wikis later#I love the idea of scarfs and head pieces being the only external decor everything else goes directly on the body#transformers cybertron#Cybertron would have a huge body mod scene fr#But I bet a huge part of the MEDICAL scene would be idiots putting unapproved stuff on themselves and it getting stuck/broken#When they turn into their alts XD.#DISTRACTED anyway I had a blast making this hope y'all enjoy it too#Cybertronian Sam Witwicky#3d model#3d art#I bet cybertronians who haven't been to earth look so different given their current forms are all reshuffled human vehicles#And their original alts would be so much smaller given human vehicles are 70% empty space#They really lucked out with vehicles and humans using them for transport. Like if they came in even a couple centuries ago...#The fact they're shapeshifters who can steal the forms of anything nearby of roughly the same mass and makeup is so so cool
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I've looked at some Strange Magic screencaps today and I've been thinking about the differences between male and female fairies. You know, like a normal person does in their spare time. The general difference between the two is visually obvious. Female presenting fairies have iridescent looking wings with little to no patterns (other than the black and white pattern lining Dawn's wings like those of a monarch butterfly). Male presenting fairies have more neutral coloured wings with markings and lines and spots on them.
Because of how unpopular and generally small the fanbase is I couldn't find anything concrete as to why that is the case. I've seen a single concept art depicting the male fairies as moths although the wings do not match the final design in the movie. The Fandom wiki dubs them all to be butterflies though as a whole I do not trust what Fandom says. You could also argue that they're different because it's Disney and Disney loves its stereotypical gender differences. And of course searching through interviews showed me nothing as of yet.
However, even whilst having nothing to support this, I have an idea as to why they look so different.
Something I have never realised, and now refuse to let slide, is that butterflies show sexual dimorphism. Their wings are different between male and female members of the species which could explain the different wings in the film (other than it being a cartoon made for kids and the fact it's not that deep). Most often these differences are small, like a particular small pattern change or slight variation in the hue of the wing colour. However, certain species show very strong dimorphism:
^ Males of the species are blue, females are brown (Images taken from this article on FloridaMuseum)
Which is sort of what is going on in the Strange Magic movie, only reversed with the females having the more vibrant colours:
^ I think the differences are best seen in butterflies that show both female and male wing patterns (Images taken from this article on Washington Daily). And if anyone is interested, the condition is called Gynandromorphism (wikipedia page)
In this case, it's possible that all fairies have butterfly wings. And yeah, I would have gone into way more detail but I kind of got tired by the end if you can't tell by the way I'm cutting it short. I think the way they fly also resembles butterflies more than moths, buuuut they also fold their wings flat on their backs with is more accurate to moths than butterflies. Either way, sexual dimorphism is my go to theory now.
#strange magic#I don't know what else to tag#It's literally only strange magic related#toonce offtopic#and yes essay writing has made me reference everything..#also#I'm sorry Strange Magic is younger than the fnaf games?#This movie came out in 2015???#also also I might add to this post later
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david levithan
#like minds#murderous intent#like minds 2006#nigel colbie#alex forbes#nigel colbie x alex forbes#having a normal one 🤡 idk just something small#i mean as much as i love clowning on the fact that 0.2 seconds after nigel took alex to the room#the most insane batshit stuff ever just came pouring from his mouth. 10/10 on the flirt game#it is kind of sad when you consider the idea that nigel sees himself as having no inherent worth outside of being something to be used#i mean he describes himself as the pike in the dynamic; the implement for killing#the weapon; the tool to be used#the idea that his only purpose is to serve as an instrument for someone else to achieve their destiny ?#and that night in the trainyard where he decides the best thing he can do is die so that jack can be born?????#are you listening greg ??? because this is exactly why it would've been better for the movie to affirm nigel as alex's maraclea#take notes greg okay#because if nigel positions himself in the role of maraclea?? then it all falls into place and now you've got this guy who thinks#that the best thing he can do. that the ONLY thing he can do. the reason he was put there in the first place#is to die and help alex become everything he was born to be#i stand by what i said on the earlier post that the night at the train yard was their consummation ..that the birth 9 months later was jack#beyond telling greg he can pry this idea from my cold hands#if he wants me to admit i'm wrong he can fight me for it in the car park of an aldi#sorry to anyone who followed me after the cannibalism web weave but this is a like minds blog first and foremost
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how funney hilarious would it be that one of the driving factors for jacks getting the fates out of the cards would be to get chrysi out too, since she took his spot, but then it’s like. she wasn’t in that card for, like, the last seven years. he’s been tormenting himself over getting the deck and freeing her and finally apologizing, but she’s BEEN free and she’s BEEN reunited with her soulmate in the kingdom over. that sucks for jacks to realize. plans foiled again, i guess
#memorie.txt#s.chrysijacks#tentative timeline for this au is chrysi gets jacks out of the card like right before paloma went missing#which does mean she snuck into the dragna household BUT i like this because it makes sense why paloma would take chrysi’s spot later#plus i could have little scarlett meet chrysi which meanssss that when she sees her in modern times#she recognizes her & can’t quite figure out why she’s so familiar#but yeah. it would b interesting to have a chrysi and paloma convo#where chrysi’s like listen. the deck of destiny is bad (‼️) and the guy who came up with the card game itself isn’t any better (‼️)#but unfortunately i care abt him and i’m taking his spot ☺️ so. there.#and later paloma feels bad for chrysi—who (she thinks) unfortunately fell into the same trap she did#of falling in love with an immortal#but then later righttt before she takes chrysi’s place in the card she sees chrysi’s fated name and she’s like wait a fucking second#coming to terms w the fact that her star lover had a half-star heir this whole time that he’d ??? been raising for someone else??? weird.#anyway i want chrysi to take jacks’s place in the card like a couple years before paloma disappears but then it messes w the timeline#of tella picking out jacks’s card from the deck#but… yk what… i can jst shuffle that bit around#everything else makes sense it’s FINE i’m making SENSE it’s OKAY#au.childhood fates
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jesus im so fucking tired of being the afterthought like no it's ok i dont need to watch this cool oneshot with my friends i can just get it later because it's my bad for having total reliance on captions yk yk
#like damn larian you def earn enough to provide a live captioner#ive had fucking months of fighting this shit in work and now my hobbies are proving to be inaccessible for no real good reason#not that there IS a good reason for anything to be inaccessible but yk come on at least have a leg to stand on#im extremely pissed and no it's not the end of the world that i cant watch a silly dnd game but im so angry about everything im being denie#and that's the lil icing on the cake#to be clear none of this is directed @ hr or the crew im just like make it make sense if you're doing things like this for a huge audience#critrole came through on this and it's been unreal to actually be able to enjoy content along with everyone else#i dont think ppl understand how much that's taken for granted#ANYWAY!!!#i'll burn this later but hrghrghrhgh
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Seriously though, I am so happy that Timon is no longer a taboo topic around the rpc. While I understand it, to me it was always saddening that such a great character became such a no go topic around the rpc just because of one person who did...well, all that.
Timon is a great character. I absolutely loved the third movie. I loved Timon no matter where he appeared. He is SUCH an important character to the franchise to me so I am thankful that someone broke the ice.
#like.#i totally understand why people were uncomfortable with timon but ah it was saddening to see#i will always be glad that i unfollowed them because my gut feeling already warned me about that person#and generally my gut is never wrong#and when I saw how that guy treated the mufasa rper i blocked them because I had no tolerance for that drama he liked to stir up#and then later everything else came out and yup#so everyone just avoided timon in general because of that person#what worried me the most was that someone new to the rpc would join and then get harassed just for roleplaying timon#i know how this website can be so#idk. we just take back that bad experience and i think that's incredible#ooc#and i can finally play max too
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long rambling personal about chronic pain under the cut
on thursday's pt session they were having me work with someone different cause my usual was taking time off. he asked if anywhere hurt more during an exercise and i said my knees and he got all serious and had me do a thumb hypermobility stretch and asked if eds runs in my family, if i experience any other joint pain and for how long. i told him 'uh idk' and 'yes all over' and 'as long as i can remember but it's gotten really bad in recent years and i also have nerve pain' and then we just kinda looked at each other. and then he was like '...alright keep going with the exercise, i'm thinking' and at the end when he said goodbye he seemed like sad or guilty and opened the door for me and i didn't realize why at the time because the session had been harder than any of the others but not like insane but OH MY FUCKING GOD has my pain been bad this weekend. it's times like these that i'm glad i live with my family.
and also. i researched eds in more depth and. it's fucking uncanny. how the hell did this not come up when i was researching before because it is like exact and touches on some symptoms i hadn't even considered to be related to my pain. if it's not heds it's probably hsd i guess?? which is
#i was really weirdly happy at first when everything but the skin stuff was accurate to my symptoms#just cause for so long i've thought my pain was all in my head that i was going crazy#after the lower back xray and the arthritis blood tests came back normal i didn't know what else to think#so suddenly being able to find a community of people who are experiencing the same kind of symptoms and pain#and sharing tips for how to get through it? it's so cool!#but that sort of honeymoon phase in regards to it only lasted a day or so because this flare up is fuckin rough#now i'm mostly trying not to be worried about my abormally high heart rate#and trying not to give in to the allure of screens when i inevitably wake up in pain in the middle of the night#(i obviously broke tonight lol)#personal#vent#also the timing of this was insane because i made a friend with eds a few weeks ago and even did a quick google#afterwards cause we are both so similar that maybe our joint pain also has the same cause?#but i didn't even let myself get past the words “hypermobility” before exiting out because i've never considered myself to be flexible#if i had even kept scrolling for 10 more seconds i would have seen the line up of symptoms that almost completely matches mine lol#sorry for the rambling prolly gonna delete later im just tired and cant stop thinking about it cause yknow#pain
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Apparently I timed my quitting perfectly
#work tag#the new manager is absolutely awful and since hes taken over nothings been done properly#the managers that are left are sick of everything they barely do anything on shift the slackers are worse than ever#the newbies dont take anything seriously or have any common sense whatsoever so its just completely downhill#we had an EHO visit last week on the boss' close had lost a star on our rating as a result so the area manager came in a couple days later#he bollocked our boss for the way hes been acting but then he went right back to being a prick#so apparently after i left last night the district manager visited and they had to shut the store early for cleaning#but this was after my manager told me that the boss has been blaming everyone for the state of things but#when they offered to close the store and do a deep clean he refused because of money#the district manager was not happy he pulled both managers aside and now theyre gonna have to close the store for a deep clean#but they might also have to shut down temporarily to get everything sorted but the thing is since this new guy took over only about#half of the closing cleaning tasks have been being done because close is usually made up of the slackers and they just dont wanna do#anything properly its been an ongoing issue for months now and now its catching up with them cus theyve got in the habit of not doing it#one of my managers has kept saying he doesnt think the store will last until Christmas but everyone else is sure were gonna be shut#well before that point like its gotten the bad its part of why i quit#anyway i just got the rundown from my coworker who was on close when this all went down last night
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we should actually talk about a engineer charles and ferrari driver mick au.
#thinking mick who took sebs seat in 2022 only having one rookie season at alfa who is still high of his 2020 win who did so well in the alfa#mick whos all high and mighty on being THE prince who has that nickname who is praised and held high because charles wasnt there#so there was never a predestinato#maybe carlos was teammates w seb and he wasnt able to push and pull at him like charles was so seb was pushed more#maybe seb who won with ferrari in 2018 seb who still leaves because he wants more because ferrari is still ferrari and still fucked up#in 2019 so he was still pushed out eventually#just a little later then now#mick whos kinda cocky mick who knows who he is and uses is mick who walks into maranello and gets stared at w glittery eyes because there#was no charles there was seb for a while and no one to take over that awe like charles did when he came in#and charles whos been with ferrari for years started off as an intern whos loved by the team#who becomes micks race engineer who has such a soft accent who first looks at mick and is one of the few who doesnt look in awe#charles who was sebs race engineer who was just a guy in the garage and looked at him in awe like everyone else#until he became his engineer at 2016 seb who always flirted even though charles knew about lewis#seb who talked about mick all the time seb who pulled mick down to earch for charles because to charles micks just sebs guy#the guy who messes around with his hair all the time to sebs annoyance mick who has to seperate his veggies from his meat on his plate#thats mick to charles because he spend so much time with seb#mick who walks into to maranello and knows he has to prove it all everything all the magic he has to do it now#charles who is the only one who smiles normally and normally introduces himself who looks away and back to his screen and starts talking#charles who doesnt look after him whos eyes dont sparkle charles who's eyes dont feel heavy with anticipation#mick whos still a bit to cocky for charles's liking but keeps up the niceness because he knows that sebs 'mickie' is in there too#kyle.txt#YA KNOW??? HYEAH?>???#schuclerc
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.
#idk how to deal with how my relationship currently works#I love her more than anything in the world I just don't think she actually has any romantic feelings left for me...#other than just me being her best friend and family and the fact we've been together so long there just isn't much of anything else..#it just feels like there's so little to no romantic love left in our relationship and that she resents me for putting her in this position#where she cut herself off from everything back in her hometown where she came from just to pursue a relationship with me#and because I can't make her feel loved in the way she needs. in ways I used to make her feel about our relationship#and now 7 years later she feels like she's wasted the best years of her youth#with someone that she doesn't even know if she loves anymore#because all the shifts in dynamics. terrible poly relationships. my inability to not get romantically involved with her partners#which just ends up making everything very awkward and usually just ends in disaster. hurting our relationship#At this point all kinds of intimacy feels so forced that it makes it so hard to believe it's genuine intimacy and not pity or obligation#because of all the baggage in the last 7 years our BPD and rejection sensitive dysphoria makes romance and intimacy so difficult#it's so hard to look past all the failed attempts and heartache in the past when you remember it all#right now we're decided to separate romantically and she's going go look for other partners so she can learn to love again#before she'll even try to approach having a romantic relationship with me again#she's my favorite person in the world and I would do anything for her.. I just don't know how much there's left for me to do at this point.#I don't know what to do..#I don't even have anyone to talk about it because she's the only person I've talked to in the last 3 years because I'm such a shut-in#and I have literally no friends...#I just feel so fucking alone
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I did my Spotify wrapped thing and it’s so absurd I’m sorry I have to share this I can’t stop laughing
1. My Chemical Romance
2. Robbie Williams
3. Meat Loaf
4. Taro Umebayashi (really revealing how many times I’ve listened to the Yuri!!! On ICE soundtrack)
5. Scorpions (but ONE song in specific: Rock You Like a Hurricane)
7. The Ark (again, ONE song in specific: Breaking Up With God)
#look I’m always down for MCR#but did I spend several days/weeks listening to Meat Loaf and nothing else? yes#and Robbie Williams#I actually wonder if I have memories from an alternative universe re: robbie williams#because I have memories of downloading one of his albums on like limewire or something#the entire album as one track#so I memorised at which points so and so song started#the problem with this memory is that it’s linked to a time and place#very strongly#BUT THE ALBUM ACTUALLY CAME OUT TWO YEARS LATER#so. did I download an album from the future#or do I have memories that do not belong to me#who knows#not me#maybe if I actually used Spotify to listen to everything it wouldn’t look so absurd but oh well
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rant
(i havent overshared on here in a while and i think its about time i do that)
tw/ homophobia and transphobia
being queer in a rural area / area where theres not a lot out other gay people is really weird and really isolating.
yeah its the homophobes and terfs and people telling me about *how the gays are going to hell* and talking about us like we're subhuman without realizing im gay.
but its also the other gay people i've met.
theres this guy that ive been friends with for going on 11 years now (on and off) and he came out to me a year ago just by going "hey did you ever think that i might be gay" and i answered and that was that
months later i came out to him by telling him nonchalantly about my first girlfriend when i was like 13. he tells me about this girlfriend he had a few years prior. he then proceeds to go on this rant about how he's still "completely gay" thought since "she wasn't a real girl". and he goes on about how he thinks that if you date a trans person it automatically makes you pansexual since they "have the parts of a boy/girl even if they aren't one" (talking about how straight men cant date trans girls and still be straight and vise versa and how lesbians "cant" date trans girls and still call them lesbians)
last time i talked to him he was going on about "how women are nowadays" and calling them sluts and being really degrading.
There was a gay bi gender kid who rode my bus who constantly talked about the same stuff.
The first person I've ever came out to irl is one of my best friends recently told me she just "doesnt understand aromanticism" and doesnt think it's a real thing.
I came out to her as asexual about two years ago now and explained to her that i find a lot of aspects of my sexuality confusing but i still really wanted a label and she's the one who suggested i use the label 'queer'
but when i messaged her and told her that i also think im on the aromantic spectrum a few days ago she asked me to explain why and i sent her a whole essay explaining my experiences with romantic attraction for her to tell me she doesnt understand it and doesnt think that that makes me gay.
(like she's fine with asexuality but draws the line at aromanticism)
I also have this cousin whose a lesbian and only shows up like once every five years because of our family. but when she was home for christmas she and her sister went on a tirade about how being gay is fine but trans people are 'imposing on the community'.
i wasnt planning on coming out to her (i dont think ill ever come out to anyone in my family) but i was still sort of excited to see her because i havent talked to her since i came to terms with my sexuality and it just felt nice not being the only gay person in my family (even if i am closeted)
and its really isolating because this is my community. these are the people i have access to that have the most simular experiences and not one is fully accepting of other peoples identities.
every single gay friend i have that isnt aropohobic or transphobic or a misogynist (how tf are you going to be gay and sexist??? make it make sense) is online and my actual community is completely parasocial. i dont think thats healthy.
#tw homophobia#tw transphobia#arophobia#i have this one friend who doesnt know shit about the lgbt community#she doesnt understand sexuality#and shes like this with me being autistic too#like she doesnt understand it in the least bit but she does accept everything with it.#i have never talked to her about the specifics of my sexuality but i have made a backhanded comment about me being confused by it before#and she didnt address it for a while she just kind of dismissed it#but it got brought up really casually in conversation like a month later#idk how to explain it but thats just like what happened#i think she had an 'expirimenting phase' when we were like 12#but nothing came of it#anywho#i think its really disappointing that the only person i can rely on to not invalidate my sexuality or anyone elses for that matter#doesnt know anything about sexuality#like you would think that the people who go through the same type of unacceptance would be more willing to understand and accept people#but apparently not#if i mentioned anything about asexuality or aromanticism to this one friend she would stare at me like a dear and headlights#i know for a fact shes never heard those terms before#but if id explain them to her she would just be like 'oh okay' and not think more about it
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imo the part of mahoro and amagis conflict thats related to their opposing views on soccer & mahoro following (and enforcing) fifth sectors orders is a little awkward. but i get that somehow it has to be put in there its inazuma eleven. but if you ignore it my god the whole thing is just so real and sad.
like i find it awkward because we dont really know why mahoro is so deeply on fifth sectors side... or rather what fifth sector are using to get him to be so obedient. maybe as long as he obeys them theyre protecting him from his bullies? who knows. but clearly theyve got SOMETHING they can use against him like tsurugi judging from his interaction with that dude in the suit whatever his name is. the one that was always on tsurugis ass about the money for yuuichis surgery.
like he basically just warns him to 'not expect to play soccer again anytime soon' if mahoro doesnt comply with his orders to crush raimon... but it feels so out of place? why would he not be able to play again? is it just that fifth sector would get him kicked out of the team? it has so little weight compared to everything that ties him to amagi + the bullying hes been enduring since!!!
#inzm#if it was just a liiittle bit more clear & related to everything else itd be fine!#🤔 i mean maybe part of it is also because of what he says about how the bullying eventually just made him accept that he couldnt fight#against people who were stronger than him and win. that he had to just accept reality and know his place#which would be fine.......if it wasnt for that one scene in the move manuals shop#no hold on. i need to think about it more. i came up with a counterargument to my own post and i cant let it slide#i will come back to this later when i reach an answer that satisfies me on both sides.#genei trio
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