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keikikait · 5 months

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ᴄʀᴜꜱʜ (ɢᴏᴊᴏ x ꜰ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ)

this is part 2 of my previous fic, which you can find here

for my other gojo smut, click here!

pairing: gojo x f!reader (not au, gojo is 29, reader is early-mid 20’s)

word count: 2.5k

summary: you’re home from your teacher retreat to nikko, ready for the new term. what you’re not ready for? gojo to come home to you.

warnings: (FOR THIS PART) SMUT - 18+ ONLY! MDNI, dom!gojo and sub!reader, protected sex (pill, not mentioned but its there) degrading (he uses the word slut), hair pulling, nipple play, spitplay (bye….), light edging, finger/thumb sucking (don’t look at me), use of the words [cock, cunt, and tits], slight oral (f receiving), a bit of angst & a bit of mean gojo, nickname use [baby, pretty girl, doll], no use of y/n

a note: i know i said this would be out next week but it was my day off so i wrote it all today. this is less angst, more smut, but i can’t help myself so there is some angst. also, im sorry i made gojo such an asshole, i promise that he will get better! part 3 will be out soon my loves.

please reblog and like, it means a lot! let me know what you think!

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧

Your eyes are already open when your alarm goes off.

You didn’t sleep at all. There was no point, even after you finished crying your head hurt too much to sleep, even with some painkillers. You laid there, wide awake all night thinking about Gojo. Did he think of you, too? You turn the alarm off and slide out of bed, your slipper-covered feet shuffling as you make your way around your apartment.

You brush your teeth and look in the mirror. Your eyes are puffy and swollen, mascara smeared down your cheeks. You pop some spoons in the freezer to cool as you clean yourself up and get dressed. Your phone sits untouched on the bedside table, still plugged in.

You sit on the side of your bed, pressing the now cold spoons against your swollen eyes. You take deep breaths, trying to relax. You had every right to be upset, after all. Gojo has no reason to string you along, whispering sweet nothings in your ear at night about how you’re his girl, his doll, his everything. But that’s exactly what that was. Nothing. Maybe, you think, this is some kind of karma. Some sort of punishment for your arrogance, for thinking you could have what everyone else wants, Gojo, and here—at last—it was.

You put on some de-puffing undereye patches that you keep in the fridge and clean your entire apartment spotless to distract yourself, music blasting from the phone in your back pocket. You finally throw out that dead fern you got as a gift from the school board when you first started, and you finally clean out your fridge of the now moldy condiments you tried once on a whim. You’re washing dishes when the front door opens and, suddenly, Gojo steps inside. He had opted for his dark blue circular sunglasses today, an odd choice for the winter but you didn’t mind it. “Hi,” you say, surprised, pulling off the bright marigold gloves and setting them on the side of the sink to dry. For a second, you think about the absolute state of your eyes. The swelling and puffiness had gone down, and even though he had never seen you cry, you think about the fact that even if he noticed your eyes he wouldn’t care enough to ask questions.

“Hey,” is all Gojo says in response. You wait to see if he says anything else, or if he is going to try to explain himself, but he doesn’t, and eventually moves across your apartment to head to the bathroom. You hesitate before you make your way after him, passing his duffel bag on the floor of your closet, which was unzipped and filled with enough clothes that it was clear that he was going to stay for a while.

You feel pathetic admitting it to yourself but having Gojo there — not just in your apartment, but in your room — feels nice. He doesn’t speak to you yet, but his very presence steadies and refocuses you. As grateful as you are that he came back to you, you are also a little disappointed in yourself, by how dependent you are, how weak. Who were you without him?

Eventually, he faces you, peering at you over the top of his glasses. “Hey, pretty girl.”

You swallow hard, willing yourself to be strong, to finally confront him about all of the false promises and the date with Himiko, but you can’t. Not yet. “Hi, Gojo.”

He smiles, reaching you with just one step and collecting you in his arms, wrapping them tightly around your hips. He leans down and kisses you, for the first time in almost nine days, and you feel yourself giving up, giving all power to him.

After a few seconds, he pulls away, smirking. “I missed you. I’m sorry that I didn’t come home last night…I got carried away.”

You’ve noticed over the past eleven months (yes, you kept track) of your situationship that he uses that term a lot; carried away. He uses it when he gets a little too handsy during the free periods at work and when he stares at you a bit too long during staff meetings. He uses it when he forgets to call or text you and when it seems like you’re the last thing on his mind. Maybe you are.

You smile, shrugging. “Don’t worry about it, baby. I’m just glad you’re here now.”

He grins, gently running his hands up your back, lightly scratching his nails against you, making you shiver. “Of course. I always come back home to you.” He bends at the knees and picks you up, carrying you the short distance to your bed before laying you down and climbing on top of you. Excitement fills your body as he leans down and starts placing soft kisses along your neck. You arch into him, whining and tugging on his sleeves, and he chuckles. “Relax, doll. Quit acting so desperate. You’re not in charge here, remember?”

You feel drool pool in your mouth and you quickly swallow it. “I’m sorry, Gojo, it’s just that —”

He interrupts you, sliding his thumb into your mouth to shut you up. “I know, baby, I know. You went eight whole days without my touch and now you’re acting like a desperate little slut,” You nod, hoping he won’t tease you this time. He smirks at the dumb look on your face before saying, “Open.” You do, opening your mouth wide and sticking your tongue out a little. He pulls his thumb away and draws back briefly before spitting into your open mouth. You swallow it without his command. You know what he likes.

He grins, kissing your lips once more before kissing down your chin and neck, slowly sliding off your t-shirt. You whine and squirm under him, and after he pulls your shirt off he clamps his hand over your mouth. “Shut up. If you keep whining, I won’t fuck you at all. Is that what you want?” You shake your head vigorously, that’s the last thing you want. He removes his hand before continuing, “Good. Don’t speak unless I tell you to,” You nod, relaxing into your sheets as he kisses down your chest. He pushes your bra up over your tits, groaning as he squeezes them in his hands. “Fuck. I missed my girls.” You would normally scold him for objectifying you, but at this moment you didn’t care. You wanted his hands on you, and you wanted his dick inside of you as soon as possible.

He takes the sunglasses off and brings one of your nipples to his mouth, lightly brushing his lips against it to tease you. He sticks his tongue out and drags it along your nipple in circles, loving the way your thighs fall open and the little sounds you make. He finally, finally sucks your nipple into his mouth, pinching the other one hard just to feel you squirm. He rolls your bare nipple between his fingers while he lightly nibbles on the one in his mouth. Your head is spinning, and all you can do is tug on his hair as he teases you. He lets go of your nipple with a wet pop, a string of saliva connecting it to his lips. He picks it up on his finger and rubs it on your face just to humiliate you.

He kisses down your torso, tugging down your pyjama bottoms and tossing them onto the floor. He kisses your thighs as he pushes them up and against your chest so you’re nice and spread out for him, just as he likes. He notices the wet spot on your plain blue cotton underwear and smirks, rubbing at it with his thumb. “Someone’s eager, aren’t they?”

You take it you can respond to him now. “Fuck, Gojo, please! Please stop teasing me, I already went eight days without you.” The whine in your voice makes him feel so big, so powerful. He barely touches you and you’re already crumbling at his feet. Maybe he should keep you there.

He makes that condescending tsk tsk tsk sound that normally annoys you, but now you can’t help it and you whine and squirm even more. “You’re so desperate, baby. You can’t even handle a little teasing?” He presses his thumb right against your clit, the wet spot spreads even more. “I guess you do have a point, though. I haven’t made you cum since we left for Nikko.” He kisses right above the hem of your underwear before pulling it down, the blue fabric now dangling around your ankle. He moans, pushing your legs back even further and spreading your cunt.

He spits directly onto your pink little hole, watching as it mixes with your juices. In this moment, you’re his. You’re his everything, his girl, his doll. In this moment you actually mean something to him, when you’re spread out and begging for his attention. He runs his pointer finger down your slit, collecting some spit before dragging it back up to your clit and lightly circling it.

You almost cum on the spot. Days of pent-up horniness and teasing and you’re as sensitive as ever. You bite your lip, looking over at him with nothing but love and affection in your gaze. “Please, Gojo. Please don’t tease me. I don’t know if I can handle it.”

He gets comfortable, moving your thighs over his shoulders as he lays down on the bed. “You’ll take what I give you. Don’t disappoint me.” He circles your clit with his finger one last time before leaning down and sucking it into his mouth. You arch your back, your hands finding solace in his hair as you writhe and moan. He moans at your taste, gripping your hips hard as he gets lost in your cute little cunt. You grind against his face, and he lets you, loving the feeling of your clit against his tongue. He teases your hole with his fingers, sliding his thumb in as he swirls his tongue around your clit in circles. You clench up tight, mumbling praises along with I’m gonna cum! Please let me cum! before he pulls away completely. He laughs at the noise you make, and at the way your face contorts and tears well in your eyes. He slaps the inside of your thigh before standing up and unbuttoning his pants. “Oh, come on. Be a good girl for me, okay?”

You move up on the bed, your back supported by your pillows as he climbs over you. You’ve seen his dick a lot, more times than you can count, but the sheer size of it always surprises you. Thick and long, slightly curved to the left, with a pretty pink tip to match. His balls are big, too, full of cum and practically begging to be in your mouth, which waters as soon as you see it.

Gojo looms over you, pushing you onto the bed as he slides in between your legs and gets comfortable. He rubs his tip against you, getting it nice and wet so you don’t struggle with the size as he fucks you, at least not too much. In a moment of pure intimacy, he reaches his hand up and rubs his thumb against your cheek, looking at you with an almost adoring gaze. You go to say something to him but all words escape your throat as he pushes his cock into you. You both moan in unison as he slides in and out slowly.

“God,” he groans, leaning down on his elbows and getting right in your face. “I missed you so much, baby. I know I’m such a dick to you, I just can’t help it, you look so cute when you’re angry…fuck, you feel so good.” He isn’t vocal in bed very often, and your heart swells as you get to watch him come undone and make such pretty noises as he does.

In the heat of the moment, you forgive him. You know you’ll probably regret it, but you can’t stay mad at him when he’s looking at you like you’re the only woman in the world for him. Your smile is cut short by your moan as you manage to say, “It’s okay, Gojo. Please just stay here. Stay here with me.”

Gojo nods, propping himself up on one flat palm as his hips pick up speed. Normally he loves foreplay, he can tease you and edge you for hours, but the time spent without you in his arms and without you wrapped around his cock was too much to bare for him. He knows he fucked up, but he can’t take it back. He’s Satoru Gojo, and he has a reputation he needs to uphold. He’s all run, and you’re all fight, and that’s part of the reason why he feels so drawn to you.

He looks at you, moving to his elbows and reaching up to grab your face and pull you into a kiss. He pulls away and presses his forehead against yours, biting his lip as his hips move even faster. He drops back down to his elbows, your chests pressed together as he shakily moans, “Fuck, fuck, fuck, doll, I’m gonna cum.”

You nod, pulling at the hair at the nape of his neck as you cum around him, clenching down on his cock. He buries his face in your neck as he cums after you, cumming inside of you, like he always does. His breathing is ragged as he lays there, his cock twitching inside of you as his cum spills inside. Gojo eventually moves away from your neck, some of his hair matted to his forehead, slick with sweat. You push the hair back and smile at him, kissing his forehead gently. Even if he didn’t love you, you still loved him. And you think you always will.

He pulls out, immediately getting you a towel splashed with some warm water as he cleans you up. He’s gentle with his aftercare, making sure you’re comfortable, and collecting your water bottle from the living room. You pee before getting dressed, laying with him on the bed. He wraps his arms around you and pulls you close, pressing your face into his chest, and sliding his hand into your hair. He holds you there for a while, your breathing in sync before he leans down and kisses your forehead.

Gojo puts on a cooking show to watch on your TV, setting the remote aside as he holds you close. He strokes your hair, and your mind starts to drift, and you wonder if he cares about you in the same way you care about him. Are you not good enough for him? Is there something wrong with you? Are you not what he wants? Are you not what he needs? You wake up every morning, hopeful for what’s to come with him, but you spend most of your time thinking about what you’ve already had and what he’s already said to you. You’re missing all these memories—maybe they were never even yours.

Nothing hurts like he does.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧

part 3 is here

#keikiwrites #jjk smut #gojo smut #gojo satoru #gojo x reader #dom!gojo #sub!reader #f!reader #✿: gojo!

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elsweetheart · 1 year

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what’s the worst that could happen to a girl that’s already hurt?

🎀 when your best friend ellie stands you up, the man who raised you both swoops in to save the day.

🎀 kittie??? using capital letters?? well i never. i present the much awaited father figure joel fic! it’s also a bff!ellie fic! double homicide. warning: it’s pretty angsty in some places, mentions of your birth father being a shitty guy, mention of alcohol (unrelated to your dad), all around daddy issues, ellie’s kind of a dick in this, fem!reader, reader is a woman luver, this is NOT hate towards dina she is simply just there, lemme know if i missed anything! p.s i’m trying out adding little cover pics to my fic, tried to make this one have the same vibes as like a journal / diary entry with stickers n stuff ? ok bye

Ellie was an everywhere kind of girl. She was strong, capable, intelligent, and always knew what to do. To you, she was truly a superhero around Jackson, always making sure that everyone was safe and doing her best to take on the jobs she thought was too dangerous for everyone else. Her selflessness was what drew you to her in a romantic sense in the first place, not that she had any idea. In her eyes, the two of you were long time best friends who grew up together — experiencing just about everything together, and you were certain to her that’s all it was. You’d liked her since you’d met.

For the most part, it didn’t suck. getting to be close with Ellie made it worth it, smoking together, laughing, and sometimes even playfully flirting (the butterflies in your stomach can attest to this.) There were hard times of course, Ellie getting with other girls and telling you all about them, the fact she probably saw you as a little sister, and most recently — she’d gotten super busy. So busy, that you had to start going out of your way just to say hi to her each day, always running about Jackson to find her. To you, it was worth it. You missed her.

“Boo!” Two hands grabbed you from behind as you swept the hay in the barn making you yelp and turn around with a wide eyed expression. “Totally got you.” Ellie smirked, backing off. She wore her khaki green jacket that you loved over her hoodie, done up with her jeans and her backpack on.

“What’re you doing here?” You asked softly, chest swelling with affection. She stepped around you, going to pat one of the horses as greeting.

“Thought I’d stop by, about to head out on patrol.” She took a carrot from the feeding tray and fed it to the horse.

“You always seem to be on patrol.” You smiled, and you cursed yourself at how it came out. It sounded kind of bitter, and shit — maybe you were a little bitter— but you knew it wasn’t ultimately her fault that you felt neglected. Perceptive as ever, Ellie turned her head towards you quickly wearing guilt on her face.

“I’m sorry, dude. I miss hanging out.” She took a step towards you and you let yourself sulk, turning your back to her and continuing to sweep. “I do.” She took another step closer.

“Don’t call me dude. I’m a girl.” You were being a little pathetic now, punishing her when she didn’t fully deserve it.

“Since when?” She chuckled and you whipped your head to her in shock, a look of anger and disbelief accidentally showcased in your expression. “I mean since when did you care about me calling you dude?”

When you didn’t respond, Ellie sighed— stepping up directly behind you. “Alright, I didn’t wanna have to do this. But I’m gonna have to call in reinforcements from the tickle monster.” She spoke seriously, and before you got the chance to protest this her hands were jabbing into your waist, fingers wiggling up and down your ribs as you squealed, a smile making a breakthrough onto your face as if despite everything your body couldn’t help but enjoy her touch.

“Ellie stop!” You chortled, your hands falling loose on the broom. Before it fell, Ellie reached around and caught it before swinging it round and hiding it behind her back. You spun around to her, lurching forward to try and grab it but instead just stepping right up close into her space.

It seemed like everything froze, just like that. Your faces were close and her eyes were boring into yours — the green of them almost painfully bright today, her cheeks looking like they’d caught a bit of sun, hair jostled in her messy half bun from all the commotion. You blinked up at her, collecting yourself as she smiled back smugly.

“Give my broom back.” You breathed out, confidence slightly lost at the close proximity.

“One condition.” She whispered and you leant on your hip with an attitude, tilting your head at her as if to say ‘what?’. She sucked in a breath, and you swear her eyes flickered to your lips for just a second but you might have imagined it. “Stop being mad at me. Let’s hang out.” She proposed and your heart fluttered. Finally.

“Alright.” You muttered with a shy smile and she tilt her head, grin widening.

“Yeah?” She seemed equally excited, and you felt elated. You had gotten in your own head a little with Ellie being so busy, thinking that maybe she’d been busy for a reason — trying to politely get you off her back. This was the confirmation you’d needed that you were overthinking, as usual.

“Remember how you said you were gonna teach me about skin… care…stuff? Let’s do it. It’s about time I start acting like a girl.” She chuckled, stepping back and breaking the tension of your closeness a little. You stepped back too, a little flushed from the moment and nodded happily. Footsteps approached the barn, capturing your attention for a moment before you rushed to organise your little hang out session.

“Tonight? At mine?”

Ellie’s head was turned towards the door, distracted by Dina poking her head around and realising she had been keeping her waiting. Her head snapped back to you as she wiped her hands down on her jeans nodding.

“Yeah, cool. I gotta get going but I’ll see you, yeah? It’s a date.” She rambled out, walking backwards for a moment to face you before turning around as you bid her farewell. You tried not to overthink the ‘it’s a date.’

Night time rolled around, and you were cringing at yourself in the mirror. It was just going to be a chill little night in with Ellie, the same way it always was since you’d had your own place in Jackson— but you’d put in a little extra effort to look cute, despite wearing just a tank top and pyjama pants. You did your hair all pretty, applying a little bit of makeup you’d made yourself from ingredients, which you’d learnt how to make from a book about female prisoners. You felt cute, and you were hoping Ellie might think the same— but you didn’t wanna get ahead of yourself.

A knock at your door sounded a little while into the night, and you tried to quell the relieved butterflies tearing through your stomach by taking a deep breath, heading out your room to answer it. You swung the door open, expecting Ellie — only to be met with Joel. Your smile faltered for no more than a second, wondering how long Ellie’s patrol was going on for before fixing your face, not wanting to hurt his feelings.

Joel was what you thought every man should be. You’d first met him and Ellie a few days outside of Jackson when they were trying to find Joel’s brother, Tommy. You were headed to Jackson too to find the only person that might’ve been alive in your family, your dad. You were no more than a year younger than Ellie, out there all by yourself and Joel couldn’t let you continue on that way. You were headed to the same place, so he let you tag along — plus, he figured Ellie might want a friend. So it turned out, your dad wasn’t the greatest guy. He was just as neglectful and angry since the last time you’d seen him as a child. After causing more damage, he packed up with his new family and left the safe haven of Jackson to live in a warmer climate (for whatever reason.) You were just a kid, a damaged and lonely kid — and Joel being the man he was, stepped up. He wasn’t just caring for Ellie, he now had you on his hands— making sure your needs were met and you were living comfortably in your new residence. The two of you had grown close over the years, he was the closest thing to a father you ever had.

“Y’asked to borrow sugar for those cookies you said you’d make for Maria’s thing?” He drawled, swinging his backpack off his shoulder to dig through it— having remembered the favour you’d briefly asked of him a week ago. “Got a whole tub of it, right here. Don’t let anyone else see that, they’ll come knockin’ and you’ll be out again in no time.” He presented you with a wooden tub, filled to the brim with brown sugar. Your expression softened, taking it in your hands as you looked up at him gratefully.

“Knew I could count on you, old man.” you grinned, the nickname you and Ellie had so kindly gifted him never losing its charm. He nodded, shy of affection but smiled anyway — your sweet ways poking him right in the soft spot. He stepped back to walk away, and before he could go any further your voice cut through, stopping him in his tracks.

“Joel.” you shot out, almost urgently. God, you felt a little desperate.

“Yeah?” He gruffed, and you paused for a moment, brows furrowed as you started to realise how late it was actually getting. Was Ellie coming at all? He saw right through your expression, knowing that something had to be bothering you. Joel stepped a little closer, tilting his head at your far away expression. “What’s up, kiddo?” Any other time you’d smile at the nickname. Ellie was kid, and you were kiddo. That, or ‘thing one’ and ‘thing two’ from that old Cat in the Hat book he’d shown you.

“Have you seen Ellie tonight, at all?” you gnawed on your bottom lip, trying to hide your concern and failing. Joel seemed to falter, his eyes skimming from you to behind you, noticing how you’d set up your living room. Jars of the skincare, face masks, the lot of it — laid out on the coffee table. Bowls of snacks sat out, untouched, with blankets strewn about to make the couch look comfy and fun. You’d even hung up some fairy lights that had been a pain to find batteries for if he remembers correctly, you begging him to always look for them on his hunts. He was piecing things together a little when your voice dragged his attention back to you, your frown deepening. “It’s just, she said she was gonna come round and hang out with me tonight. ‘Was gonna teach her about skin care. We haven’t hung out in ages and I guess… I just thought…” You trailed off, Joel’s eyes dropping down to his shoes briefly.

“Yeah, uh.” He cleared his throat a little awkwardly, unsure how to approach the situation that he was realising to be more delicate than he thought. “Saw ‘er at the bar with that Dina on the way over here. They… were gettin’ pretty wasted.” He sounded apologetic, like he knew just how pathetic you were and you couldn’t stop your face from falling — rejection and humiliation swiftly settling in making your cheeks heat up.

“Oh.” Your eyes widened, before they dropped away from Joel’s pitying gaze. “Yeah, makes sense I mean they were just on patrol together.” You rushed out a chuckle, hand resting back on your door like you wanted to close it. “Well thanks for stopping by with the sugar Joel, you’re the best.” You hurried, backing up so you could send him away, not wanting to give away how upset you were. It was no use though, Joel knew you. He knew the look on your face all too well, that same look of rejection on your face that he’d seen when your dad was still around. You had tells, your face would go all tight and rigid like you were afraid any display of emotion might send you hurtling over the edge into tears. Joel placed his hand on the door before you had even made an attempt to shut it, gazing at you for a moment trying to find the right words to say. It wasn’t often he had to do this kind of thing, a dad duty.

“You uh— you got room for me in there? I’m startin’ to look a little old, maybe I could… benefit from this typ’a thing.” He suggested, voice serious like it always was with a softness to his expression. You stared back at him, slightly surprised but considering it. You could send him away, spend the rest of the night in tears and eating all the snacks you’d prepared, or… “Until Ellie decides to show her sorry ass, of course.” He added, throwing in a jokey smile at the end. Joel smiling was rare, so when he did smile you always found it contagious. You pushed your door open wider, stepping aside.

“Welcome to my spa, mister Miller.”

Before long, Joel’s coat and boots were kicked off at your door and he was sat on your couch, your cold hands smearing your home made face mask over his face.

“You really need to shave. This beard is what’s making you look old.” You joked, the pink goo narrowly avoiding his beard hairs as you rubbed it into his cheek.

“Yeah yeah, you try findin’ a razor that’s worth shit around here.” He shook his head making you tut at his movement obstructing your application. “This supposed to burn?” He frowned, pointing to his face. Your eyes widened, pulling back. You were sure you had made it hypoallergenic, but the book you learnt how to make it from was pretty dated — maybe it was wrong. He chuckled at your expression, relaxing. “m’fuckin with ya, kiddo.”

You scrunched your nose angrily, scooping out some product and smearing it over his mouth so he couldn’t talk, his reaction to this making you burst out laughing. He wiped it off with the back of his hand, glaring at you, scrunching his own face up in disgust.

“Tastes like shit.”

“Well that’s because you’re not supposed to eat it, it’s to replenish the moisture barrier in your skin.” You enunciated, repeating what you’d read in your book proudly.

“To what?” He sarked and you rolled your eyes playfully, prodding his cheek gently to get him to turn it.

“No more questions. Let me finish this, grandpa.” You concentrated, applying the rest of the face mask to his skin. You leant back, admiring his glossy pink mask, all done. “Well, don’t you look pretty.” You held back your laugh, and he reached up to gently touch the sticky layer over his skin.

“What, you ain’t got no cucumbers for my eyes?” he leant back in his seat and you laughed at the imagery as you picked up your hand mirror, beginning to apply the face mask to your own skin.

“C’mon now Joel. You know that cucumbers are a luxury this time of year, I’m not wasting them on you.” You scooped out product, smoothing the refreshing slime across your cheek. He chuckled, raising his eyebrows as if to say ‘fair enough’ before falling quiet. You glanced his way, nodding at the popcorn bowl on the table. “Help yourself to the snacks, or i’m just gonna eat them all.” You chuckled lightly. He didn’t, as expected— arms crossed over his chest.

“So what do I do now? Just wait?” He looked around, taking in the way you’d decorated the place with hopes to impress Ellie. His heart was old and damaged, but it twinged in sympathy for you — knowing her repeated absence was probably weighing on you, the pair of you once joined at the hip.

“Yeah, it’ll dry and then you can peel it right off.” You smiled, your focus now centred in on making sure you didn’t get the mask in your eyebrows.

“Kiddo, I’m sorry you got stood up.” He turned to look at you and your movements froze, turning to look back at him caught off guard.

“Really, Joel— it’s okay, and I really appreciate you being here.” You smile, trying to convince him that you weren’t hurt by Ellie ditching you for Dina, the pure existence of the dark haired girl filling you with nerves and slight insecurity.

“But you’d rather her be here, right?” You wanted to put your defensives up, but his thick comforting accent made you sigh— putting down the jar and mirror, finished on your face. It was hard not to tell Joel the truth, maybe it would feel good to talk to someone about it. You opened your mouth to speak, and he cut you off. “You like’er.” He stated, and your words died in your throat. Surely he wasn’t calling you out like that?

“Of course I like Ellie, she’s my—”

“Not… like that. You love her.”

Your throat closed up and you blinked, how the fuck did he know? You said nothing, confirming his suspicions with your silence and your eyes got a little glassy, sure that this ordeal was making you look even more pathetic than before.

“And, hell— I want you to know it’s alright by me. Not that you need my permission or anythin’ but— i’m… i’m good with the gay stuff, always have been. N’ you two make sense together. I think i’ve always kinda known.” His forehead line deepened as he tried to word things sensitively, being gentle not exactly his forte.

“Well… thanks Joel. i’m sure i’ll just… get over it.”

“What I’m sayin’ is… You can talk to me. Alright?”

“Alright.”

You’d helped Joel peel off the mask, and now you were applying a cooling moisturiser that you’d made to his skin that was a little pink from the peel. “Now you’d better not go around tellin’ anyone I’d had a spa day with you. Don’t wanna damage my reputation.” He weakly threatened you as you smoothed the pearly product into his rough skin. Times like this, when he was going back and forth with you in such a humorous way made it easy to forget what he was capable of, how many people he’d killed effortlessly.

“And what’s your reputation. Grumpy old man?” You raised an eyebrow making him chuckle.

“Watch it.”

You moved on to apply the product to your own face, and he picked up your hand mirror, checking out your handiwork. To him, he looked the same — just a little shinier, though he wasn’t sure what he was expecting. A comfortable silence fell over you as you smoothed the product into your skin, reaching forward with your other hand and stuffing some popcorn into your mouth. His chuckle faded into a fond smile as he watched you miss your mouth with some of the kernels, giggling to yourself.

“You and Sarah would’a got on.”

Maybe he was feeling sentimental, it was always harder not to face your emotions later on in the night — and perhaps the ambience of your home that you’d made was reminding him of old times. You slowed your movements, as if you’d move too fast and burst his bubble of reminiscing. You wanted Joel to feel comfortable like he’d made you. You even chewed slower to be quieter, staying silent to let him speak as he stared into space at one of the lit candles on your fireplace. “She always liked doin’ this kinda thing. I always said no. Was too much of a manly man.” He scoffed with a sad smile at the silliness behind his reason, shaking his head slightly in regret.

“I would have liked to know her.” You admit softly, staring at his profile— still glowy from the product you’d applied.

“She was all girly, like you. Always wearin’ pink n’ purple. Would’a been the best of friends.” He finally turned to look at you, his eyes a little sad and glossy at the distant and lost possibility. Yours were too, you couldn’t imagine his loss— Joel never spoke about Sarah. You realised now, that he was sharing something vulnerable with you because you’d been brave enough to fess up to something vulnerable too that night, which made your heart expand in size by ten. For tonight, your Ellie wound was patched up by Joel. You touched his arm, and you shared a smile.

Joel stood with his boots on, pulling his coat on at the door — having just reached midnight and he figured it wasn’t appropriate to stay any longer.

“You feeling like a new man after that facial?” You jabbed with a grin. He chuckled, buttoning up his thick jacket preparing for the snowy weather.

“Damn right.” He went along with it making you laugh. He stood up straight after pulling his backpack on his back, looking down at you with more sincerity now. “You gonna be alright kiddo? Can talk to her if you want but I reckon you… got it handled.” He trailed off knowingly when your eyes widened at the suggestion.

“No, I’m sure me and her will talk… and i’m okay, thanks Joel.” You nod at him with more meaning than you’re both willing to address again and he nods back.

“I’ll see you.”

Jackson was quiet that time of night, watching his step as to not slip on melted ice. Joel’s eyes flit up from his boots to the figure fumbling away from the bar on the path towards the living spaces. Ellie, drunk as a skunk hobbling home, Dina in the distance stumbling her separate way.

“Ellie.” Joel greet, stepping up behind her and she swung around, gleefully throwing her arms up.

“Joel!”

“Let’s get you home.” He nodded, stepping by her side to make sure she didn’t fall and hurt herself. He wasn’t mad at her, she probably didn’t even know — but he couldn’t help but sigh at her thoughtless, joyful mood.

“Why’re you out so late, old man?” Ellie slurred slightly, head bowed to watch her step carefully.

“Don’t you worry about me kid.” He took a hold of her arm when she stumbled lightly, having lost the card game one too many times with Dina. Dina had needed cheering up after a spat with Jesse, and Ellie had stepped up to help being the good friend she was. It was mainly to get her to stop whining about it on their shared patrol trips.

“You had plans tonight. Shouldn’t’ve been in there gettin’ wasted. You know that.” His voice was quiet but meaningful and Ellie’s head rose from its position, staring ahead with a confused expression before it settled in realisation, saying your name.

“Shit.” She swore, wiping a hand down her face as she arrived at her house, right beside Joel’s. The thought of blowing you off so badly seemed sobering and she climbed the porch step, fumbling for her keys and turning to look at the man stood before her, even in her drunk state recognising the fatherly look of disappointment on his face. “Was she mad?” She squint and Joel stepped back.

“No.” He confirmed and she sighed, watching him for a moment. “Make it right, Ellie.” He nodded, before departing to his own house. Ellie sighed once more. She’d fucked up, bad.

♡ ♡ ♡

#platonic!joel #fatherfigure!joel #bff!ellie #ellie williams angst #joel miller angst #joel miller fluff

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redak-ted · 1 year

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i have more incorrect quotes and its the fruity four + the certified dilf and his traumatized husband

Miles: Man, traffic's a pain in the assssss.

Hobie: Daddy's home!

Gwen: Just call him Bayer, or Bear or something, Daddy is reserves for your mother to use.

Pav: I'm about to have one less girlfriend in a minute.

Miles: This food is too hot… I cant eat it.

Hobie: You’re very hot, and I still eat you.

Everyone at the table: silence

Gwen: YOU GUYS ARE DISGUSTING!

Pav: One dinner… I just want ONE DINNER!

[The group is a prison cell that was just hit by an earthquake]

Miles: Uh, I'm gonna roll a perception check of… 4, and see if our cell is, uh, in any way damaged by this quake

Hobie: You're in a prison cell :)

Gwen: You did great. Well, I got a 10-

Hobie: You're in a prison cell with bars on it

Pav: I got a 1!

Hobie: You're in… a cube-shaped place.

Miles: On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling?

Hobie: In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Gwen?

Gwen: Probably “road work ahead”.

Pav: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.

Miles: Dammit, Hobie!

Hobie: What?! It wasn’t me!

Miles: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Gwen!

Gwen: Not me either.

Miles: Oh…Then who set the house on fire?

Pav: whistles

Miles: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake? One, two, three-

Miles and Hobie, in unison: Chocolate cake peanut butter frosting with chocolate chunks!

Gwen: Our turn, Pav! One, two, three- vanilla!

Pav, deadpan: I've never had cake, what is cake.

Gwen, about Miles: Apparently we’re getting someone new in the group.

Hobie: Are we stealing them?

Pav: New or used?

Gwen: Wonderful responses, both of you.

Gwen: Just be yourself.

Hobie: 'Be myself'? Gwen, I have one day to win Miles over. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?

Pav: Couple weeks.

Peter: Six months.

Miguel: Jury’s still out.

Hobie: See, Gwen?

Hobie: 'Be myself'. What kind of garbage advice is that?

Miles: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous.

Hobie: What if it bites me and it dies?

Gwen: Then you’re poisonous. Jesus Christ, Hobie, learn to listen.

Pav: What if it bites itself and I die?

Peter: That’s voodoo.

Pav: What if it bites me and someone else dies?

Hobie: That’s correlation, not causation.

Miguel: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die?

Peter: That’s kinky.

Miles: Oh my God.

Miles: Bye Hobie! Bye Gwen! Bye Pav! Bye Peter! Bye Hobie!

Gwen: You said ‘bye Hobie’ twice.

Miles: I like Hobie~

Miles: That's it, we're gonna go out and find what we need!

Pav: To the city?

Miles: Yeah, no matter what!

Peter: Well- How exactly do you propose we do that, exactly?

Miles: I… I don't know!

Hobie: Oh come off it, be serious!

Miles: I am serious!

Hobie: You're insane!

Gwen: Why, if only we were all wiener dogs, our problems would be solved!

Everyone:

Miles: What???

Gwen: Or maybe it was a basset hound!

Hobie, panicked: YOU'RE ALL INSANE!

Miles: What did you guys get in your yearbook?

Gwen: 'Prettiest Smile'

Pav: 'Nicest Personality'

Miguel: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'

Peter: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

Miles: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something?

Hobie: Nope, absolutely not.

Gwen: I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through.

Pav: I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life.

Peter: I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you.

Miguel: I can't wait to go to your funeral, knowing I could've changed that outcome.

Squad reactions to being told ‘I love you’

Miles: Thanks fam!

Hobie: oh no

Gwen: cries I love you too

Pav: Sounds fake but okay

Peter: A flustered mess

Miguel: can i get a refund

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hellsingmongrel · 2 months

Text

I can't help but think about how Vash, after the trauma of having Rem killed when he was so young and then learning to expect the humans he grew to love to grow old and die or be killed in so many myriad ways and even having them betray him for the bounty money or just out of fear, must have developed so many difficulties allowing himself to get close to people.

Abandonment issues SUCK. You want to be close to people, you want to love people and develop connections and have friends and loved ones you can spend time with and be happy with, but you become so sure that anyone you get close to will just end up leaving you for one reason or another, and nothing you do will ever make them stay, so you just...stop trying. Stop letting yourself get attached. Stop letting yourself hope these will still be there or even reach out to bridge the gaps.

You can be friendly and outgoing and happy in the moment, but that's all it is; momentary. So you just let yourself be happy with the little glimpses if friendliness that you get from time to time and never hope for anything more. It's easier that way, you won't get your hopes up, and you're alright being alone, you've always been alone, it's ok. It's ok.

Except it's really not, and sometimes the loneliness just eats away at you, and you wonder why you were so wrong, why you were so bad or broken or a problem, or not made right to live like other people did, and why you have to be so Different that you're best hope is to just be allowed to exist Around other people, not With other people.

It's no wonder he has so much trouble never settling down, or why he only lets himself be happy for small spells between the downward spirals. He wants SO MUCH to be human, just like everyone else, worthy of love and companionship and the kinds of connections everyone else on the planet shares. He just wants to fit in and be loved, and the more his abandonment issues are reinforced, the worse it makes him feel about himself.

And then, he finds the one human who refuses to abandon him, even if he should, even if it means it puts him in danger, even if at first it's just because he HAS to, and maybe Vash feels like someone finally wants him to be around, and makes him feel a little more Human, and like maybe he can finally have a friend. Or a partner. Maybe he can let himself try to be loved.

And then he's Abandoned all over again, except it's not like every other time. It's not because he's not worthy of having someone next to him, and if he just catches up, then he can save him from the things his brother is doing, and he can be happy for a little bit longer! He doesn't have to say good bye all over again so soon, just let him be on time!

But no. It was never going to work out, was it? He should have known better. So much of what's happening has to be his own fault in one way or anotuer, so it's just his fault that this happened, too, wasn't it? It was his own fault for letting himself get his hopes up, anyway. He knew better. He doesn't get to have people who love him. It's his own fault that his world feels like it's breaking all around him while he digs a solitary grave out behind the orphanage. He's a blight on everything around him. Everything he loves ends up leaving him, eventually. He just wishes everyone he gets close to could stop dying in horrible ways. At least the betrayals mean the people will still get to live their own lives, happy and safe, once he's moved on to the next path on his neverending road.

#trigun #trigun stampede #trigun maximum #vash the stampede #nicholas d. wolfwood #vashwood #No I'm not processing my own abandonment issues through recognizing their patterns in Vash #I don't HAVE abandonment issues #Not me nuh uh #Thanks Dad #Self therapy through fictional blorbos

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yenqa · 1 year

Text

SHE PLAYS BASS!

synopsis : prince sunghoon had a boring life. never had he ever gone out with his friends or fallen in love like a normal teenager (not like he liked the idea of falling in love). instead, he was forced to prepare for when he would be crowned king. but when your band, le sserafim is invited to play at the royal palace. his perspective on love would change all because of you.

featuring : le sserafim, hyung line of enhypen and a mention of jungwon

warnings : swearing, angst, parents w broken relationships, crying, kissing, reader wears makeup for performance, sunghoon is REALLY bad at conversations, will update as writing!

wc : 8.4k (woww!)

pairing : prince!sunghoon x afab!reader

a/n : it’s out!! sorry for the wait everyone and its a little weird but i hope you enjoy! thank u sm to @redm4ri for reading over it and making sure everything is good 🫶 also if you find anything we both missed… suck it up and ignore it

taglist : @chaechae-23 @ssjxmh @favorjtecrime @ineedsomezzz @aki1e @chaewon-slays @blu3ming-hoon @sd211 @foxsunoo @yunjinluvrr @homelycat @222brainrot @shinrjj @harufluff @viyqe @yoonsaves @sweetjaemss @jiawji

perm taglist : @jwnghyuns @ja4hyvn @trsrina @redm4ri @badmuni

01 NO CELESTIAL WAS ALWAYS YOUR FAVORITE SONG TO PERFORM.

you enjoyed playing the guitar riffs and singing until your lungs went out. you enjoyed the small portion of choreography you had and the energy it brought to the crowd. but as much as you enjoyed the melody itself, you enjoyed the lyrics even more.

to you, no celestial was about breaking the standards and just being yourself (ex. lyrics “angel-like perfection, bye” in first verse). but the song also meant that you can’t be perfect, and to not be afraid when someone realizes that. no celestial gave you a sense of freedom, like nothing else mattered but the sounds of your voices. and you would do anything to have that freedom.

well, it was the kind of freedom you already had until the attention’s eye was on you. now, you couldn’t even meet up with an old friend before someone turned it into a dating rumor. it was hard to ignore those rumors and continue on, but that was what you had to do to make it far.

and, you weren’t sure if it was worth it until now. staring in shock as you open the intricate blue envelope decorated with gold lining. on the back, is text stating “The Royal Palace”. Yunjin squeals in excitement as you carefully pull out the paper, reading the contents hidden inside.

Dear, Source Music

It has come to our attention that your band, Le Sserafim has been spiking in popularity in our kingdom. As the Prince’s birthday is coming soon, we would like to formally invite Le Sserafim to perform at the Royal Palace on December 8th to entertain our guests. Please arrive at 3:30 pm or before as you’ll be performing at 4:15. All food and drinks will be provided for you, outfits will also be provided and we’ll have to schedule an appointment to get some measurements. Please tell us what kind of concept to go for, and we’ll do our best to achieve that. We trust that the band will perform well as always. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Yang Jungwon

you look at your members in disbelief as they do the same before kazuha breaks the silence.

“we’re going to perform at the royal palace!” she excitedly squeals, as the room explodes into excited laughter, deciding what songs will be performed.

“well we have to perform fearless! it’s our hit song,” yunjin begs, trying to get nods of approval from the group's leader.

chaewon sighs, looking back at yunjin, “we’ll have to see how many songs we can perform and if they want us to perform any particular ones. we can ask our boss at our next meeting. he’ll probably have all the details we need,” she smiles warmly at her members, stretching out her arms and engulfing them in a warm hug.

“wait- when’s our next meeting?”

🎸

no celestial was not on the setlist. nor did your boss even think about performing it.

as the stubborn girl you are, you immediately asked why no celestial wasn’t on the list, and your boss laughs at you. stating that the palace didn’t choose the song and it wasn’t the right place for it. you thought that the song would be able to be performed anywhere (except, maybe a funeral but that’s not the point) but it apparently went against palace rules. it was stupid to you, isn’t that what the song’s telling you not to do? follow the rules?

you were surprised the great mermaid was picked, considering the amount of ‘foul language’ in the song. but since the prince was turning 21 (or 20 you couldn’t remember) you were sure a swear word wouldn’t hurt him.

it wasn’t until late at night when it hit you, you were performing for the prince in a month.

02 SUNGHOON WAS NOT EXCITED ABOUT HIS BIRTHDAY

all the decorations, outfits, and people were too much for him.

yes, he loved having the party, but having every single person he’s had any interaction with invited? just seemed over the top. he wished only his closest friends to come, but every year his parents would try so hard to marry him off to some random girl his age, which always ruined his mood (and his plan to have a small birthday party). sunghoon knew this year wouldn’t be different, so he didn’t look forward to it, simple as that.

when his parents revealed they were inviting a band to perform on his birthday. his lips had slightly upturned. would it be tomorrow by together? or seventeen? maybe even red velvet? his face immediately dropped when he heard the name. who the hell was le sserafim?

after he was dismissed sunghoon immediately looked up the band that was recently introduced to him, playing the first few songs that popped up.

out of the seven songs he listened to, he liked the song “sour grapes” the most. sunghoon didn’t look much into the lyrics of songs, as a song was just a melody he sang along to. but the rare times sunghoon did (which was when he was listening to sour grapes), he didn’t understand most of the lines. what did they mean by love is sour grapes? because to him, he didn’t think love resembled any kind of fruit.

well, what did love resemble to him? sunghoon didn’t know. after seeing his parents grow apart over the years, sunghoon wasn’t one to ask about the subject. and nor did he ever want to be.

the small number of lyrics he understood, made it even more obvious why love wasn’t that appealing to him. it would always end in heartbreak, which is why he vowed to himself to never fall in love. but deep down, he knew it was something he could never admit.

he was scared.

03 BREAKS WERE YOUR FAVORITE PART ABOUT PRACTICE

after practicing for three hours straight, chaewon decided for an hour's break. of course, no one disagreed which left you immediately leaving the building and deciding to walk around the kingdom.

the town was always a safe place for you to walk around since the palace is near your building and heavily guarded. after getting drinks for yourself and your members, you decided to head back to the practice building.

as you walked around you always stopped to watch some young kids playing outside, enjoying the laughter and happiness they brought to voice. you smile at their enjoyment, amused at the stupid games they make up.

you try to push your body away, as your head wants to keep watching. until you bump into someone, making you drop the drinks you had previously bought for your members.

“oh my god i’m so sorry! did it spill on you?” you frantically ask, crouching on the floor to pick up the wet cups on the ground.

you stand up to see a man around your age, his fluffy brown hair slightly covering his eyes and clothes too formal for a walk around the town. his face seems too familiar, almost like you’ve seen him before.

“it’s fine, sorry about your drinks, can i get you new ones?” he offers, a slight rasp evident in his voice.

“oh no, it’s okay! but do i know you? you look really familiar,” you ask curiously.

his state quickly turns to panic, before answering “n-no i don’t think so.” he curses himself for being so nervous.

“oops! sorry then, well my name’s y/n nice to meet you!” you offer him a hand, which he shakes.

“my name’s sunghoon nice to meet you too.” shit did i just say sunghoon? he realizes, horrified at his clumsiness.

“oh like prince sunghoon?” you mention, flashing him a bright smile.

“yeah haha…” he awkwardly replies, helping you throw away the dripping drinks in your hand. “are you sure? i’m sorry i feel really bad,” he rambles, looking at you with concern.

you swiftly pull out your phone to check the time, realizing you wouldn’t make it back in time if you went back to get drinks. you smile at him, showing him the time on your phone, “i have to be back soon! but maybe if we ever meet again you can pay me back,” you smile, and he smiles back before you run off, waving to him.

fimmies chat

you

lawl i just met the cutest guy !!

sakura

are u forgetting ure semi famous…

eunchae

did u rizz him up

yunjin

do u think y/n rizzed him up

be honest

you

no i didnt forget!! and i did rizz him up so good

yunjin dye.

anyways i didn’t get his number </3

kazuha

did u get his number

chaewon

youre so lucky he didnt recognize u

but come back soon breaks almost over

you

im omw

04 HIS BIRTHDAY CAME SOONER THAN YOU REALIZED

you were too nervous about playing for the palace, you played your bass thousands of times in front of a crowd, you think, doing whatever to calm yourself. you had known all the chords by heart (including no celestial which your band decided to sneak in), you had warmed up your voice, and you had memorized and practiced the dance for hours and hours. you were going to do fine.

when you guys stepped onto the stage all that was heard were claps and a couple of cheers, you quickly made eye contact with the queen giving her a small head nod. you step in a line to bow and introduce yourselves, before getting to your instrument.

the first song you were performing was “the great mermaid”, sakura tapped her drumsticks three times, signaling for you to start the song. your hands instinctively moved to the right chords, strumming accordingly. as each chord passed, more was to be played. your hands shakily played each one, trying to sing your parts as stable as you could.

you felt a sigh of relief when the song ended, you placed your guitar on your hips, resting your hands while listening to the audience's boring claps. no shouts or cheers, just repeating claps, prim and proper. as chaewon introduces your next song you scan the audience, locking eyes with the young man on the throne, wait-

was that sunghoon?

your eyes widen as you hurry to your position in the dance, waiting for the music to start.

was sunghoon the prince? why didn’t he have a disguise? or some kind of security? did i seriously meet the prince on accident and didn’t notice?

you quickly came back to life, focusing on the dance you were currently doing.

your hips had to be on point, your legs had to be fully extended and in place, your arms had to be in the exact place, and your facial expression had to be on point. you hoped your expression looked how you imagined it.

you glanced at your manager noticing his approving, almost proud smile. you almost smile in response, containing it in quickly moving into formation.

the next few songs were a blur until you got to no celestial.

you nervously spoke into your microphone, introducing the song.

“for our last song we are performing a song called “no celestial”! this song is similar to our first one “the great mermaid” so if you enjoyed that song, you might like this one.” you wink at the audience, as you notice the manager giving you a look of disbelief.

you ignore it. adjusting your bass, starting up the next song. once you got to the pre-chorus you could feel your manager's glare burning in your scalp, you glance at sakura, exchanging nervous glances as yunjin sings her heart out, without a care in the world. by the time the song ends, you’re exhausted, and your legs and arms feel overworked,

you say your goodbyes and bow to the crowd as you walk off into the dressing room, where your manager waits with a menacing stare.

“hi sir…” you hesitantly start, he raises his left eyebrow at you.

“who came up with the idea of playing no celestial? the queen was giving me dirty looks! you’re lucky i’m not getting thrown in jail tomorrow. did you come up with the idea of playing no celestial for the palace y/n?” he yells, fuming with anger.

you look down at your feet, as your members watch, unable to prevent anything.

“yes i did.” you quietly answer.

“what’d you say? god you need to speak louder y/n,” he bluntly scolds.

“i said, yes i did,” you speak menacingly, he looks taken aback, almost surprised.

“this is your last warning y/n, one more and you’re out of the band, okay? i’m sick and tired of you taking your position for granted.”

“yes sir.” you bitterly answer, your body twitching trying to hold in your tears.

“now go! i can’t look at you right now,” he sighs.

you take your chance to quickly walk out of the dressing room, avoiding any servants walking around (and your members if they followed you). you slowly push open a door and find yourself on a path, surrounded by flowers and bushes tailored by the most perfectionist workers. each step there seem to be more and more plants unknown to you. you stop to look at a certain flower, reading the name on the index.

“the alstroemeria caught your eye?”

you jump at the sound, turning around to see (prince) sunghoon, walking next to you with a grin. you quickly bow, wiping your tears “oh! i’m so sorry for being here, i don’t know if i’m allowed here, so i’ll go!” you ramble, his smirk growing at the sight of you.

“it’s okay, y/n right? you did really well today,” he looks you up and down, slightly biting his lip.

“thank you, sir! happy birthday to you too.”

“no need for formal names, sunghoon is fine.”

your eyebrows furrow at his words, tilting your head slightly, “are you sure? it’s really no bother.”

he smirks at your comment, “you seemed fine with it two weeks ago,”

your eyes widen as his grin switches to a sly smirk, “i just didn’t recognize you,” you argue. “you don’t recognize the prince?” he raises one eyebrow. you huff at his response, opting to change the subject instead.

“shall we walk?” you ask, referring to the path you were earlier following. he nods as he starts leading the way through the abnormally large garden, making sure you stay away from any ditches or rocks.

“so, how was our performance? what was your favorite song?” you ask. he doesn’t think for long before deciding.

“sour grapes.”

“no reason why?” you give him a grumpy look which he notices, so he continues. “i like the melody, and lyrics.” he bluntly states, looking back at you for approval. “did you like the last song? no celestial?” you ask, silently praying he did.

“it was good, but i prefer slower songs.”

you nod accordingly, noticing how the loud ballroom music fills your silence, quite different from the songs you had performed. you walk to an empty field, which sunghoon explains that it’s empty because his parents gave up on the garden, deciding to do something better with their time and money. you frown at his story, why give up halfway in?

your legs grow tired, so you ultimately declare a break, in the middle of the field. sunghoon agrees, teasing you for your tired state.

when you sit down comfortable silence overtakes you two. you both calmly listen to the classical music, still clearly heard from the castle. after a few minutes, sunghoon light’s up with an idea, quickly standing up and offering his hand to you.

you, confused, look up at him. “what? are you trying to shake my hand?”

he laughs, “no, but would you, lady y/n have a dance with me?”

you grow flustered by the idea. you’re about to take his hand, before realizing you aren’t sure how to ballroom dance. you shyly mutter, “i don’t know how to properly do it”. he chuckles softly, taking hold of your hand, and pulling you up.

“i’ll teach you.”

sunghoon wasn’t sure why he was feeling so tense when he’d started teaching you. he’d be crazy to think that he wasn’t flustered by the way your hand was on his shoulder and the other intertwined with his, or the fact that you broke out into a smile every time you’d accidentally step on his foot or miss the spin. you were just pretty, he told himself, praying his hands didn’t feel clammy.

his hands were soft, and smooth contrasting with your calloused, and rough hands. but he didn’t seem to mind by the way he was smiling.

soon, your bodies blend together, like the sun and moon, forming an eclipse. taking each step in sync with the other. you can’t find your eyes anywhere else but locked on his. he smiles at you, and you smile back. you two dance until your feet get sore again after several songs. too tired to sit, you lay back on the slightly wet grass, staining the back of your stage outfit. sunghoon grins, laying down next to you, admiring the stars with you.

“sunghoon, do you know any constellations?” you ask, trying to make a familiar shape out of any of them.

sunghoon extends his hand out, scooting closer so you can see. he points to a particularly bright star, then another, and another he repeats that until he puts his hand down.

“that’s the ursa major, you’ve heard of it correct?” he looks over to you.

you chuckle, “of course, i know what the ursa major is. it’s so pretty, isn’t it?”

sunghoon stares at you, your bright smile facing the sky, your happy eyes almost in disbelief you're seeing such a beautiful sight, your makeup for the performance now slightly smudged but still gorgeous on you.

sunghoon thinks you’re the most beautiful star.

his eyes don’t move away from you before responding “yeah it is.”

he diverts his eyes when he sees you looking back at him, “the ursa major is used for navigating, because it completes a full circle around the north star.”

you nod, taking in the bright stars, shining straight at you.

sunghoon notices your silence, deciding to start a new conversation.

“what’s your perspective on love?”

sunghoon quickly realizes his mistake when you choke on your saliva, clearly not expecting him to ask you that question as you sit up. his face turns pale, hurriedly patting your back. “sorry, was that too far?” he asks.

you chuckle at his reaction, your laugh filling up his silence. “no,i just wasn’t expecting it. but i’ll give you an answer.” sunghoon gives you a nod, silently telling you to keep going.

“i think my opinion changes, like when i wrote sour grapes, obviously i didn’t like it. but now i think it’s quite the opposite,” you answer, sunghoon carefully thinks about your words, nodding approvingly.

“what about you sunghoon? what do you think about love?”

he stays silent for a while before answering, “i don’t believe in true love, i think it’s made up,” he states bluntly.

you slightly tilt your head, “and why do you think that?”

“well because my parents they’re-”

you’re caught off guard when the sounds of panicked yelling come to voice. “prince sunghoon? prince sunghoon!” people frantically call, you can see the silhouettes of people running around, trying to spot their beloved prince. you look over to see a just as panicked sunghoon. he quickly stands up, pulling you up too. his expression turns almost disappointed before saying,

“i have to go. it was nice talking to you y/n, i hope we meet again.” he gives you a small smile. taking your hand, and placing a soft kiss on it. he looks into your eyes after, then runs to the voices. leaving you a flustered mess.

walking back to the dressing room happily excited to tell your members about the interaction you just had, you realize why you had even been out in the garden. because you were upset, but sunghoon distracted you from that.

you smile to yourself, sunghoon was quite the distractor.

05 MEETINGS WITH SUNGHOON BECAME ORDINARY

you often found him around the place you first met, waiting in the only pink chair at the cafe. every time the bell above the door rang, his head shot up looking for your familiar face. every time it was you, his eyes crinkled, which you guessed was a smile considering his face was hidden behind a mask. you would always wave to him, setting down your stuff before ordering a drink. this became a routine for you two, you would arrive at two ten and leave at two fifty, to get back to practice on time.

after practice you (and sometimes with eunchae) would always walk to a specific bench near the river, admiring the dark city with the quiet noises of running water. arriving at eight twenty-ish every time, you would place your purse down right in the middle of the bench, so no one would sit next to you.

that may seem selfish, but it was for your safety as an idol. the park was almost always empty, with the exception of people there for the same reason as you, to admire the scenery.

you were almost dumbfounded when you noticed someone sitting at your bench, the body covered by their hood twitching every so often.

your steps slowed down, unsure of what to do. until you heard small sniffles from the body, with broken cries and sounds of snot. you weren’t the most social person you’ve met, so you don’t know why your body led you down to sit next to them, asking them “are you okay?”

the person doesn’t spare a glance at you, staring directly at their shoes instead. you study their face, realizing the person was someone you knew.

“sunghoon? what’s wrong?” you blurt out, his head whips towards yours, his panicked expression clearly gone when he looks at you with soft eyes.

he quickly remembers his state, wiping his tears as quickly as he can. “nothing,” he mumbles, knowing you’ll recognize his blatant lie.

you hesitantly place your hand on his back, softly rubbing it. he lays into you, sobs coming out of his body like a river, coming downstream. your throat tightens hearing the cries that fill the park, disturbing the few that passed by every so often.

noticing his hiccups become less and less apparent. you hesitantly ask, “do you want to talk about it?”

he nods, swallowing the lump in his throat. he chokes out, “it’s just the pressure i have on my shoulders, being the next king and all. i have no one to rely on or even ask for help. my parents are too busy fucking arguing to even give me the time of day, and it’s just so stupid they put all the kingdom’s problems on me because it’s training. when in reality it’s just them being ignorant and immature.”

you nod slightly, pulling him in a soft hug as if he’ll break if you hold any tighter. you wince at the feeling of his damp tears on your sleeve, reminding yourself that there was a more important matter.

you two hold each other in comfortable silence until sunghoon sits up and wipes his tears away. you look at him with worry to which he says, “i don’t really want to talk about it anymore if that’s ok,” he looks at you with uneasy eyes.

you give him a warm smile, “that’s fine sunghoon, do you want to talk about anything?”

“no, i don’t really have anything in mind,” he answers.

you nod trying to fill the void of silence somehow. spotting a moving figure near the waterline, you point to it, “hey there are some ducks!”

sunghoon follows your finger to find the animal you were pointing at. eyes crinkling at the sight. you watch his amused face, not realizing the smile growing on your face.

“didn’t know you were such an animal person,” you chuckle, as sunghoon rolls his eyes.

“it’s not like i see them much, ya-know being trapped in the castle and all that,” he remarks. you throw your hands up in defense, “sorry, forgot about your prince duties for a second.”

“yeah whatever,” sunghoon jokes, turning to gaze at the stars, just like at the castle.

you take this time to look at his face, looking hopefully into the sky. like he was hoping a shooting star would come. you let out a breathy smile, to which he hears turning to look at you, making eye contact.

realizing he caught your stare, you look away, your cold cheeks now growing in temperature.

sunghoon chuckles at your reaction, not realizing his reddening cheeks either. he pulls up his sleeve, glancing at his watch. you lean over, looking for the time stating 9:02.

you gasp loudly, making sunghoon whip his head up, looking at you with confusion. “what happened?” he asks.

“i have to be back by 9:15, curfew and all. i’ll see you soon, okay?” he nods, a smile present as he’s waving goodbye, watching as you take off running to get back on time.

sunghoon can’t seem to get rid of his smile after you leave, touching his upturned lips softly. he isn’t sure why his smile’s still lingering even after you left. he doesn’t smile for a while after jay or jake leaves him.

despite the chilling weather that most definitely left him shivering, he can’t get rid of the warm, fuzzy feeling inside of him. maybe he was sick, or maybe he was just prepared for the cold weather. but he knew there was a different reason. one that he wasn’t ready to admit.

06 YOU HAPPILY JOGGED BACK TO THE BUILDING

imagining your member's reactions when you tell them you had met up with sunghoon once again. you push open your dorm room at 9:12, barely making it back without getting a scolding from chaewon.

entering your shared room with eunchae, you take off your jacket, zipping it up to place it on a hanger.

“y/n! you went to the park without me!” eunchae whines from her bed, stretching out to cover it.

you laugh at her position, mentioning nonchalantly, “sorry eunchae! i saw sunghoon there though.

she dramatically gasps causing all the other members to rush in with looks of worry. “what happened?” chaewon asks, standing in the doorway.

“y/n met up with sunghoon at the park!” she exclaims. yunjin reacts first, running up to you dramatically, shaking you by your shoulders. the members exaggeratedly gasp at you, kazuha even pretends to faint.

you roll your eyes, pretending to busy yourself on your phone.

“y/n you have to tell us what happened!” chaewon hurriedly sits down on the edge of the bed, to which everyone else follows.

“nothing really happened,” you giggle, unable to stop the redness from spreading from your cheeks.

sakura pushes you softly, “oh boo, i know something happened, just tell us what!”

deciding to not mention the crying part, you mention everything else.

watching the member's reactions could honestly entertain you for days. whether it was a simple touch or action you two did together, they always had an exaggerated reaction towards it. when you mentioned how he had caught you staring at him, yunjin had dramatically fallen off the bed. hitting the carpet floor with her hand clutched repeatedly.

after you finished the story, they left as giggly as you came in. you quickly get ready to go to sleep, not wanting the exhaustion to get to you before you brush your teeth.

laying on your bed, you weren’t sure why they were so dramatic over some interactions you had with sunghoon. i mean, you were just a boy and a girl hanging out.

nothing weird about that.

okay sure, he did have really nice hair, pretty eyes, and a really gorgeous smile. and he was so sweet and funny but also comforting, and you like being around him and always wanted to be around him. but what does that have to do with-

oh.

no, it couldn’t be it, you weren’t that far in deep right?

was love what you were feeling? love for the man you had randomly met in the kingdom? love for the man you had barely met but had spent hours talking to?

yeah, maybe you did love him.

and maybe, you wanted to plant his soft lips onto yours the next time you saw him.

but he was too good for you.

like the brightest, most beautiful star in the sky, loving the dimmest, and unpleasant.

it would never work.

you sigh, pulling over the blanket over your cold body. peacefully closing your eyes.

07 CONFIDING IN SAKURA WAS ONE OF THE WORST IDEAS YOU HAD

you would think the oldest person had the best advice, but truly she was set on you doing one thing.

“confess to him!” sakura exclaims as soon as she hears the news. rolling your eyes at her idea, she lightly frowns.

“what? can’t you just tell him? i don’t get it.” she huffs, slightly lifting the hair on her face. you furrow your brows, “and risk him not liking me back?”

“okay so what if he does like you back?”

that simple question leaves you speechless, it’s not a crazy question, but as stupid as you sound, you didn’t think that would happen. nor was that a chance you would want to take.

“i don’t think he does, i mean we just met recently! he barely even knows me.” you’re shortly given a questioning look, followed by “don’t you meet like, every day?”

you sigh in defeat, “okay yeah we do, but that’s not the point! the point is that he doesn’t like me back.”

“look, he might not like you back, so why don’t you get it over with? the worst he can say is no.” her shoulders lift for a second, continuing back to focus on her phone.

“okay, no is definitely not the worst thing he could say. he could say like, “ew no you peasant! get away from me you dirty scab.” sakura dramatically sighs.

“are we talking about the same guy? the same guy who spent hours talking to you outside his own party?” you huff.

“yeah, but it’s still a possibility! you never know how royals are,” you argue. she quickly bites back, saying.

“exactly!” her eyes widened, “you don’t know how royals are, so you never know if he likes you back! which i’m sure he does.”

“okay so i confess to him, and he says no. what if our relationship changes and we can’t fix it because i made things so awkward? what would i do then?” you cry, she furrows her brows.

“you never know until you try.” she finishes, finally laying back down to go to sleep.

“fine.” you grumble, tiredly walking back to your room.

maybe you could confess to him.

you quickly throw yourself onto the bed. landing with an ‘oof’ sound on your stomach. brainstorming ideas or even just imagining scenarios. you hadn’t realized until two minutes of thinking was that everything you thought of was probably a normal occurrence for him.

picnics? you were sure he had done it many times. a restaurant? his chefs probably cook better and you’re both famous. movie date? even you didn’t want to do that idea.

giving your mind a rest, you rolled around on your bed. kicking the blanket off your sweaty feet, you grabbed your phone. opening safari.

i mean, it can’t hurt to look right? you quickly typed up the words, embarrassed at the dilemma you were in right then.

you scrolled through the websites, opening “15 best date ideas for you and your boyfriend.”

sure you weren’t at that stage, but it had to have at least one good idea.

scrolling through the options you stopped on one, thinking of what could happen then. painting together, that seems like it could be fun?

you quickly prepare yourself for the text you're about to send, staring at it for a while before actually sending it.

you

sunghoon are you busy this weekend?

sunghoon

not on saturday, but on sunday yeah.

why?

you

do you want to go painting with me 😁😁

sunghoon

sure, where?

you

yk the bench we met at like two days ago

we can meet there at 2pm ??

sunghoon

sure, see you then.

you

see youu

you slam your phone into your mattress, silently screaming to yourself imagining how the date would be. you prayed that sunghoon wasn’t some kind of artist who would laugh at the market's paint you had bought because it was such poor quality to him. sunghoon wouldn’t do that, he’s really sweet. you remember you check your calendar in the living room, writing down the date for saturday.

you scan the calendar, in three days you’ll confess.

08 YOU WEREN’T SURE YOU COULD PAINT WITH SUCH JITTERY HANDS

you had managed to get there at 1:58 seeing sunghoon there already. scanning his outfit, you found the gold details on his navy blue suit to fit him well, it was similar to the letter the palace had sent you but you didn’t want to point that out.

realizing how professional he looked, you quickly feel embarrassed at your outfit. some simple jeans with a crop top and a sweater, and a mask covering your face.

“hello y/n,” he smiles at you, helping you place your stuff down.

“hello sunghoon! here-” you hand a canvas to him, “this is for you, and you know how to paint, right?” you mentally slap yourself, of course, he knew how to paint y/n!

his eyes slightly squint in confusion as he chuckles, “of course, i know how to paint y/n, what do you wanna paint?”

you lock eyes with him, trying your best not to get flustered saying, “i don’t know yet, probably like the river in front of us. what about you?”

he looks around, suddenly smirking at the idea he must’ve had. “i’ll surprise you,”

“whatever,” you playfully roll your eyes, handing him his canvas and palette. his hands brush yours, lingering longer than they should.

you ignore it, carefully dipping the paintbrush into the water, then into a light grayish blue. you gracefully spread the paint around, trying to replicate the water to the best of your abilities. the blue slowly runs out, your paintbrush becomes dryer than your liking. so you delicately press the paintbrush into the water, swirling it around before dipping it back into the same blue color you were using.

while you’re doing that, you glance at sunghoon to see him sketching a person with a pencil. “who’s that?” you ask, he looks at you seeing you stare at his sketch.

his eyebrows furrow, “you can’t tell?”

you scan the canvas again, noticing the outfit looking very similar to yours. you squint slightly, “are you drawing me?”

he grins, “no.”

“what? that literally looks exactly like me!” you argue.

“it’s your mom.”

you sigh, rolling your eyes and turning back to your canvas, he laughs at your reaction. “i hate you so much,” you lie.

“right. you know i can get you thrown into prison right?”

“yeah you could, but you like me too much to do that.” you boldly state.

he gives you a side eye, nodding sarcastically. “whatever you want,” he says, you triumphantly continue painting, finishing the sky before starting on the river and the scenery.

you add more paint to your original color, brightening it before starting your river. making sure you get each detail.

while you’re working on your river sunghoon starts painting the background, realizing he forgot to do that.

you two continue with small talk, conversing about favorite music, events that are coming up, and even events happening recently.

you’re reminded of his birthday party, how he never finished his answer before he got pulled away by the crowd (or whoever was calling for him).

the conversation slowly dies down, sunghoon decides to start a new one before you could.

“how’s it like being an idol? like getting to do whatever you want and still be liked.”

you give him a bittersweet smile, “i don’t really get to do whatever i want, but i probably have more freedom than you do.”

sunghoon sighs, “yeah, sometimes i really hate being a prince, i wish i had more freedom like you.”

“well, i don’t have that much freedom, but i don’t really care. i just do whatever i want and hope i don’t get caught,” you chuckle, sunghoon smiles at you,

“you don’t get scared of the consequences you could get?”

“not really. if anything, i can just debut again.”

sunghoon clearly taken aback by your confidence covers it with a smirk, “are you always this confident?”

“not with you,” you blurt out, not realizing your mistake until you see his face visibly turning red. he quickly turns away, pretending to add finishing touches to the painting with nothing but water on the brush.

now you realize, its time. you quickly build up your confidence, not wanting to stay in this awkward silence any longer.

“look- i don’t know how to say this. but i like you, so much.” you can see sunghoon’s mouth slightly open, eyes widening as well. you continue, “and i know your idea of love isn’t that fond. so i hope we can still be friends after this. but please take my feelings into consideration.” you slightly smile at him.

he’s still in shock when he answers. “y/n, i don’t like you back-”

you blank for the rest of his sentence. realizing now that you should have left those words unsaid. so, so many words that should’ve been left unsaid.

he stops talking, waiting for your reaction. you aren’t sure if you feel like crying or screaming, but one thing you were sure you felt was that you wanted to get out of there.

you nod in disappointment, taking your canvas and paint with an awkward goodbye. you walk away, trying your best to ignore the slight blur in your vision.

09 “SHE WHAT?”

was the first thing jay said when he told them about the date. jake gave sunghoon a look of disbelief, and heeseung laughed at him.

“dude, we know damn well she did not say that.” heeseung smirks, stifling a laugh.

sunghoon eyebrows furrow, “what? she did say that! and i don’t know how to feel! she also isn’t answering my calls so that’s why i invited you over, not to have tea and biscuits.”

jake quietly puts his tea cup down, missing when sunghoon rolls his eyes at him.

“okay so what’s your opinion on her?” jay leans slightly forward, looking at sunghoon with an eyebrow raised.

“well-” sunghoon abruptly stops. how could he put this into words?

for one he always has a smile on around you, whether it’s a smirk or a genuine smile. either work.

two, he thinks you’re pretty, like the moon in an empty sky, or a person seeing a sunset for the first time. but that would surely get him teased, so he keeps quiet on that one.

three, he thinks you’re kind, too kind for your own good. just yesterday when you had bought all the supplies for painting when you both knew he could’ve rented out the whole park for you two, or when he offered to pay for the drinks you got for your members after the time he bumped into you, to which you declined fully knowing his economic status.

yeah, you’re kind.

sunghoon barely manages to get out, “she’s… kind?”

jake scoffs, “just kind? after all the date’s you’ve had with her, you don’t think she's funny or pretty or anything?”

yeah i think a lot of things. he thinks. deciding to also keep that to himself.

“i mean she’s pretty and funny.” sunghoon blankly states, not wanting to overshare.

“c’mon dude! i know you’re thinking some poetic shit but are too scared to say it to us. we won’t judge!” heeseung argues.

jay laughs at heeseung’s last comment, knowing full well it was a lie.

sunghoon rolls his eyes for nth time, realizing he’d have to say something anyways.

“well i think she’s pretty, but like so pretty you can’t describe it.” he thinks for a moment, trying to put it simply, “also her smile,” sunghoon lets out a breathy smile. making his friends all seem disappointed.

“it literally just sounds like you’re in love with her. your girl problems are too easy,” heeseung sighs, taking a bite of the biscuit waiting to be eaten.

“well, i’m not in love with her! i just enjoy her company.”

“i enjoy jake’s company but i don't dreamily sigh about his smile,” jay adds, to which jake winks at him.

jay gives him a disgusted look, turning to focus on sunghoon and his problem.

“okay well i don’t want to be in love with her!” he says, throwing his hands in defeat.

“why? what’s so wrong with liking a girl?” heeseung asks, his voice slightly muffled by the food he was eating.

sunghoon furrows his brows in disgust. “okay, first of all, don’t talk with food in your mouth, and second of all…” he pauses, does he really want to get that personal right now?

the answer is no.

“second of all, i don’t want to fall in love just to be disappointed in the end.”

jake sighs, “man, if you don’t want to fall in love that’s fine, but just think about the good things that could come out of it.”

sunghoon nods, taking in his words. what good things would come out of it? unrequited love? heartbreaks? being married to someone else because you’re a prince?

he didn’t think anything good would come out of it.

so sunghoon decided he didn’t love you romantically. and he never would.

010 YOU WERE STILL IGNORING HIS CALLS

every text left on delivered, every call left unanswered and sunghoon didn’t know what was wrong.

well, yes he did know what was wrong but he wasn’t sure how to fix it. his friends certainly hadn’t helped and he had no one else to ask.

so maybe he had to take matters into his own hands.

his plan was to host a ball then formally invite you to it. you couldn’t decline an invitation personally from the prince could you?

then he would just go with the flow, talk to you and apologize and become friends again. easy, right?

convincing his parents to invite you to the ball was simple. even if his mom was a little uneasy, she was delighted he wanted to personally invite someone to the ball they were hosting.

for once sunghoon left them with a smile on his face.

now all he had to do was wait. he knew it would never happen but everytime he got a notification, his face lit up. frantically checking the message for any sign of the word “y/n”. but he never found one.

all sunghoon did that week was wait for a text back. it hurted his brain honestly, all his worries were constantly flooding it. everytime he tried to focus on whatever his teacher was saying he couldn’t. not when his friendship was at stake.

he wasn’t sure why he was so worried about you, considering you were just friends. but the more he thought about it, the more confused he got.

but when the day finally came, he wasn’t as ready for it as he should’ve been.

yes he mentally prepared himself, and he made sure everything at the ball was perfect. but he forgot the most important part.

planning the apology.

sunghoon wouldn’t say he was the best at apologies. when people say that the words should come from the heart he laughs. it’s not like the heart has a mouth to speak with, he always thinks. but this time, he’s really relying on those words said by others.

but stupid phrases couldn’t help now.

so, sunghoon took a deep breath. and foot by foot, he entered the ballroom.

011 HIS FACE TURNS A WARM PINK WHEN HE SAW YOU

wearing a grayish-blue gown with sparkle lined layers towards the bottom. you had a huge smile on your face, talking to another woman.

he was so busy scanning your features he hadn’t noticed all his friends crowding around him. they all continuously teased him for the love struck look in his eyes. one that i don’t have. he thinks, ignoring the comments they had made.

he notices the look in your eyes, slowly growing less happy as you scan the beautiful lady in front of you. your smile slightly falls, but still evident in your face when she leaves. you look around, locking eyes with him. your smile falls this time, not hiding the slightly dreading facial expressions you had.

sunghoon calls you over, seeing the bright smile on your face return to meet his friends.

you happily greet each of them, each sharing a small fact about themself. you try to listen to each one, even though you’ll most likely forget it in an hour.

finally, you shake sunghoons hand. ignoring the awkward tension between you two.

jake quickly starts a conversation, saying, “y/n! you were the band that played at hoon’s birthday right? what instrument did you play?”

you nod, “yeah i play the bass! i also do some singing but i’m not the lead singer,” you chuckle. jake nods, taking a sip of whatever drink he had.

you look at sunghoon finding his eyes already latched onto yours. you look away quickly ignoring the interaction.

jay senses the tension, finding an excuse to lead his friends away from you two.

sunghoon mentally lets out a sigh of relief, realizing he had to start his apology soon.

“y/n look- can we talk about last week?”

you sigh, nodding.

“i was just thinking about it and i realized how rude i was that day, and that i’m sorry for that,” he braces himself for your reaction, a wash of relief goes over him when he sees your soft smile.

honestly, you don’t even remember what he said, but he must’ve been pretty mean.

“you don’t have to be sorry for rejecting me sunghoon, i get it. let’s just move on. okay hoon?” you tease, to which sunghoon rolls his eyes, barely keeping his smile in.

he doesn’t think anyone else can call him that anymore.

sunghoon makes eye contact with his mother, urging him to join the dance floor ever so near him.

you give a knowing look to him, dragging him to the ballroom floor.

the floor is filled with people, sunghoon leads you through the people, all moving in a unison formation. you finally find an empty spot, stopping there.

he laughs, “you remember how to dance right?”

“of course i do,” you answer, placing your right hand on his shoulder, softly holding his other hand.

he starts moving you two around, twirling you and lifting you up. you two laugh every time a small stunt comes up. but for a majority of the time, you’re just waltzing around, engaging in some small talk.

“you know i’ve always wanted to play an instrument?” sunghoon asks.

you shake your head, slightly frowning, “if you told me i could’ve started teaching you how to play bass guitar!”

he laughs at your response, taking in the atmosphere around him.

sunghoon can’t ignore the fact that your hands have gotten softer than before, or that you had some makeup on that enhanced your features, or that everytime you would mess up you would laugh it off.

sunghoon can’t help but have a smile on his face around you.

he can’t help but enjoy being with you. he can’t help but look forward to spending time together. he can’t help but find you infinitely gorgeous and perfect.

he can’t help but fall in love with you.

and this time, he accepts it.

soon the music comes to an end, but you're too busy enjoying eachothers company to acknowledge it.

he randomly says, “i’m sorry for what i’m about to do.”

sunghoon knows he’ll regret this, but he does it anyway.

he plants his lips onto yours, softly kissing you. you’re shocked at first. before you return the kiss, wrapping you arms around his neck. you pull out to take a breath, looking deeply into his dark brown eyes.

he smiles at you, and you smile back.

maybe this time sunghoon will give love a try. and maybe it’ll work out for him.

012 EXTRA

this was the fourth time sunghoon had tried to sneak you out of your schedule, everytime he tried something new but it never worked.

but this time he had a new plan.

you had just finished your stage at music bank, and still had hours to go until awards were announced.

sunghoon’s job was to distract the staff, and let you sneak out unnoticed.

he arrived at the back door, starting small talk with the staff in front of the doors.

“hey have you seen my new selfie?”

“do you like this theme for the next ball?”

“which suit should i wear?” he repeatedly asks, nudging his head as a symbol for you to go.

you, watching throw a small crack in the door, open it and take off running out from the side which was slightly out of their view. you run as fast as possible. foot after foot, step after step. ignoring the weird looks sent your way, you finally stop at a familiar tree.

a few minutes later he comes running to you, waving at you.

before you say anything he tackles you into a hug, almost knocking you over.

“someone missed me huh?” you tease, softly caressing his shoulder.

“yeah i really did,” he smiles, giving you a quick peck on the cheek.

“how’d you even distract them for that long? they always keep their eyes on the door.” you furrow your brows, worried they were chasing after you.

he smirks, keeping eye contact while putting your hair behind your ear. you quickly get flustered, dropping the subject.

sunghoon truly was quite the distractor.

thank u sm for reading! if you liked this plz check out my work “apple cider” :)) have a great day!!

417 notes · View notes

seungmin4president · 9 months

Text

Sleepover

"You feel so good" hyunjin says between his kisses on your neck while his cock is hitting all the right places inside of you.

"Such a pretty whore hm? Too bad changbin cant see you like this because you're all ours right? Our little slut for only us to use" seungmin says while pulling your head off of his cock to see your pretty fucked out face you could only nod in reply, not trusting your voice.

You're probably wondering how you got in this position. On your hands and knees sucking seungmins cock while hyunjin is fucking your hole so good.

Well basically it all started while you were having a sleepover with the rest of the stray kids members, dahyun, soyeon, and shuhua.

Heres how it went down.

"Y/nah! Truth or dare?" Your friend dahyun said jumping up and down like a child "truth" You responded confidently not knowing what dahyun has under her sleeve but still trusting your gut to not trust her enough to say dare.

"Do you like doing group hugs-"

"Thats a boring question, y/n if you were to have a threesome with two of us who would it be" minho asked cutting dahyun off, well if you were being honest the question dahyun asked was boring but you weren't thinking he would just say that out of the blue so it really caught you off guard.

"What kind of question is that?!" You shout at minho who is across from you, eyes widening. "I wanna know too" changbin says making everyone look at you waiting for your answer. You look at everyones faces to see if they are being for real.

"Im not answering that" you say waving your hands in the air while shaking your head "cmon y/n you have to answer it dont be a boomer" chan says laughing at you "youre already a boomer old man but seriously y/n answer" seungmin says looking at you with dark eyes, if you weren't extremely embarrassed right now you would be able to see the change in his eyes from when he first got to your house and now.

"Okay fine uhmmm maybee.... seungmin and hyunjin??" You say looking down to hide your embarrassment.

Hyunjin and seungmin looks at you with suprised faces then looks at eachother and smirks and everyone else does a dramatic "ooohhh".

"Ahh really y/n?" Changbin says while shaking his head, disappointed in your answer "what? You guys asked and i answered you cant get mad because its not you" you say smirking at changbin while flattening your skirt.

You have a bad taste in men" minho says looking at his phone "its already 11:00 we should get to bed i have somewhere were going tomorrow" he continues while getting up.

"Lee minho its a sleepover, we're meant to stay up until 5am" shuhua says pushing minho back down to the ground "no he's right lets just sleep i dont wanna think about this day again" you say still embarrassed because of what just happend a few minutes ago.

"Ughh fine but im getting a drink before i g-" "no your not" soyeon says cutting shuhua off pushing her to their shared guest room "bye guyss" han says waving at them.

"We're gonna go too" hyunjin says taking your arm in his hand pulling you to your room with seungmin following "wait huh but your ro-" "sh" hyunjin says cutting you off (can you tell i love to write people getting cut off?) Not caring about saying bye to the others.

When you get into the room hyunjin told seungmin to lock the door "why are you telling him to lock the door?" You say looking at hyunjin curiously "wait guys if this is about the game it was just a joke i didn't mean it"

"Oh? So who would you actually have a threesome with" seungmin says walking towards you slowly "yeah.. is it by any chance changbin and minho hyungs?" Hyunjin adds on kissing your neck biting at some spots that will definitely leave marks, you dont even remember when he moved you to sit on his lap on the bed.

"I- uhm" you say stuttering because of the tension in the room "if it is we'll just leave but if not..." seungmin says tracing your thigh with his hand, moving his head to your ear "we wont hold back from fucking you to oblivion" seungmin then starts kissing down the other side of your neck but not biting.

You moaned softly biting your lip "so who is it then y/n" hyunjin says stopping and putting you on the bed so he can stand next to seungmin "its.. you guys" you whispered "hm what was that? You're gonna have to speak up do you want us or no?" Seungmin said looking down at you.

"yes i want you okay? I want you guys and you guys only. Now just come and do something" You say making hyunjin and seungmin smirk walking back towards you "well you're not getting anything with that attitude maybe say it a bit nicer then we will give you what you want" seungmin says while once again tracing your thigh with his finger

"Please just use me seungmin please" you begged. Seungmin looked at hyunjin and hyunjin hummed in delight "as you wish" seungmin says as his hand goes under your skirt.

❗please dont copy my work ❗

#stray kids #stray kids smut #skz hard hours #skz smut #hwang hyunjin smut #seungmin smut #hwang hyunjin #kim seungmin #seungmin hard thoughts #seungmin hard hours #hyunjin hard thoughts #hyunjin smut

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lowkeyremi · 1 year

Note

i rlly liked the gyaru post n was wondering if you could write hq boys with a gyaru crush ( like the guys have a crush on a gyaru ) myb a small fic ( tanaka, yams aone pls )

I'm glad you liked the last one! This is such a cute concept tbh, Aone would be too scared to say anything lmaooo

HQ Drabbles: Gyaru Crush 💕 ft. Tanaka, Yams, and Aone.

Content: Fluff, a lil bit of stalking cuz Tanaka's just like that, miscommunication bc Aone isn't good w words, crushes.

Banner credit: gifcities and geocities

Tanaka Ryu:

"I should have packed lunch today, this sucks." Your best friend nods when she sees your soggy french fries.

"That bald guy is staring at you again." She slurps her yogurt tube in a few seconds. You look around and sure enough that second year was looking at you again.

You're in your third year now, according to Sugawara the 'bald' kid's name is Tanaka, and it's said he has a huge crush on Kiyoko.

"Probably thinks my makeup is weird like everyone else does." He notices you looking and turns away to his short friend... it's Nishi something.

"Or maybe he likes you." You roll your eyes while she wiggles her eyebrows.

"Yeah right, it's obvious he likes Kiyoko." She cringes when you eat a mouthful of soggy fries.

"He might be using Kiyoko as a cover up." You weren't going to keep waiting for him to say why he's always being creepy so you walk over to his table.

"Why are you always staring at me?" His short friend giggles and turns away.

"Staring- me huh?" His face flushes as he stammers for words.

"Yes, is it my makeup? I know it's not normal but starting is really rude." Out of the corner of your eye you can see his friend covering his mouth to try and conceal his snickering.

"Ah- it's not like that! I think your makeup is unique and I think you're really cool!" He blurts out and his friend bursts into laughter.

"Noya shut up!" He elbows him.

"Really? Is this some kind of joke?" He notices your hand on your hip.

"No! C-can we be friends?" His voice sounds like a shy little kid.

"Um... sure?" There has to be some hidden motive behind this...

"Got anything else to tell her, Ryu?" The short fry wiggles his eyebrows.

"Nishinoya I will end-"

"I'm gonna go finish my lunch." Tanaka starts stammering again when you start to walk away.

"Could um... could I get you dinner sometime? AS FRIENDS THOUGH!" He suddenly adds.

He definitely has a crush on you.

"Yeah anytime." He smiles, and you skip back to your table.

________

Yamaguchi Tadashi:

"Is that all?" You ask politely scanning his cart to see if he's got anything else.

He nods his head yes, "Your total is 870 yen, how would you like to pay?" He hands you 1,000 yen, like he does every time.

"Keep the change." You sigh and look for change.

"That's too much of a tip." Yamaguchi (as you've learned from your uncle), comes in maybe three times a week for the same thing and tries to leave you a huge tip.

"Your hair's really pretty." He notioned to the style you were going for today, you think it brings out your makeup.

"Keishin says I look like a rebellious punk." You giggle right along with Yams.

"It's Uncle Keishin to you, brat! You're lucky to even be getting paid!" Yamaguchi quietly snickers because you rolled your eyes mimicking your uncle. Once everything's bagged up you hand it to him.

"Bye, Yams." He takes the bag, and holds still like a statue.

"Something wrong?"

"When'll you be back to work here again?" There's this look in his eyes that you can't quite determine.

"When ever I get back from school, I can't take a lot of breaks or I'll get behind on my assignments." He frowns.

"Hey, not my fault I'm a college student." You shrug.

"I really wish I could go with you to ward off all the weirdos who think gyaru isn't cool." He's an adorable little third year.

"Gyaru's not for everyone. I get hateful comments all the time, but they don't bother me that much anymore." It's the hard truth, you cannot force people to like you.

"Well can I take you out when you get back?" Oh, he's real brave today. Not once has he asked something remotely as obvious as this.

You can tell he likes you, that much was clear. This is the first time he's been straightforward with you though.

"You can take me out when I get off of work." You lean over the counter and press your glossy lips to his cheek. When you pull away you can see a faint mark of lip gloss from your lips.

"Go on to school now, Yams." He spirals at your smirk and walks out like a drunken man.

You're bonked on the head with newspaper, "Do your job and stop flirtin' so much!"

"Don't take your frustration out on me, I know you don't get any Keishin." He grumbles at your laughter.

"It's Uncle Keishin."

________

Aone Takanobu:

"Kogane! I'm so going to beat your ass!" Your threat echoes through the gym and no one makes the effort to save him.

"I didn't mean to mess up your makeup and hair, please forgive me!!" He whines.

The idiot thought it'd be funny to spray you with his water bottle, long story short he got a little heavy handed with the pouring.

You raise your fist to hit him but you're stopped by a hand much bigger than yours. A low grunt can be heard and you turn around to see Aone holding your wrist.

"He deserves it! Let go!" He thinks his grip is too tight, so he loosened it.

"H-here." He hands you his team jacket.

"Thank you, Aone. That is so sweet." He nods.

"Um I know how important your clothing and hair are to you." At first you can't tell if he's being genuine or a goody two shoes.

"Um... gyaru right? I thought it was super weird awhile back." At least he was honest.

"How'd you know?" You most likely already know the answer.

"I did some research after seeing your unusual clothing option that one time." He rubs the back of his neck.

"So you're stalking me?" That's honestly what it sounds like.

"No- I just wanted to understand you better." He says with a little more confidence.

"Why?"

"Ah....." His cheeks go red and he power walked away.

Huh... interesting.

Hey sillies, im tired so ima go to sleep. Also I watched a horror movie by myself for the first time but I didn't get scared at all. Idk I just kept screaming at the main character being so dumb. bye guys 😘

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illiicits · 10 months

Text

Illicit Affairs part 1 (maybe?)

DISCLAIMER: I suck at writing and haven’t done so in a long time. So I apologize if things don’t make sense or are misspelled. I promise to get better. This was a small idea I had while at was at work cause I literally don’t have anything to do like 95% of the time so I decided to write a little Drabble.

Word count: 2822

You cover your mouth with the back of your hand as you try to bite back a yawn for the hundredth time within the last two hours. Sitting by the glow and heat of the fireplace that you so dearly adored at one point. Now the beautiful bricked object just brings back memories that used to be loved by yourself, but now replaying them just brings a pang of hurt spreading throughout your chest.

A big sigh left your lips as the sudden chime of the grandfather clock azriel had custom made startled you slightly. The clock chimes a wonderful tune, one both your mate and yourself used to hold dear to your heart. Three chimes ranging out into the deep void of the dark office it sits in. The office that as of late hasn’t been opened by the shadow singer. Always gone, always away, and always an excuse coming from those wonderful kissable lips he has. Three chimes that azriel hasn’t been here to listen to for the longest time.

Where is he? Why isn’t he home yet?

You hadn’t noticed the distance at first. He’s the high lords spymaster, always on the move and always doing his best to keep the court and everyone else safe. Something that you’d loved about him. His work ethic, his will to serve and take care of the ones he loves.

After everything he’s been through you’d think the man would’ve retreated every single emotion known to man, kept far away from anyone at all. But his friends take care of him, his family takes care of him. You make sure to do your best to provide him with friendship, love, care, and all the other things he needs.

Azriel and you met by chance.

You were originally from spring court. Your parents somehow settled close to the wall. Hoping to one day have it come down and everyone live in peace. That day never came. Waking in the morning to find your parents had vanished. Never knowing why, how or even where they went. You knew your home life wasn’t always the best but it was never bad enough that you’d think they’d leave without a good bye.

Leaving you alone at such a young age has scarred you in more ways that you’d like to admit to anyone, including Azriel. You don’t even like to awknowledge that fact to yourself. Which is a huge red flag on your part but even with that you learned to be alone on your own, to not depend on anyone other than yourself.

Spending years finding a way to survive, after everything that happened with the high lord of the spring court you tried your best to stay in the shadows of not only the spring court and those who still lingered, but doing the upmost to stay far far far away from amarantha and the viscous rumors, or what you thought were rumors. Turns out she was a thousand times worse than those tiny tiny rumors, which says a lot about the power and utter evil she was consumed with.

During the fall of Amarantha, you slowly worked your way through courts. Trying to find some sense of belonging to at least one of them. Nothing in them kept you there for long. Until you somehow met a tiny firey women in some little bar. She talked your ear off and introduced you to some other girls that night. Somehow you slowly befriended all of them. Each one offers friendship and kindness with open arms.

When you finally got around to meet azriel you couldn’t help but sneak glances at the handsome man. The way he carried himself and his interest but lack of interaction was enough to get you to talk to him.

Slowly, you became friends with the spymaster. Never once letting him use the excuse that his shadows, past or his fearful reputation scare you off. Somewhere along the lines he started sneaking glances at you, at dinner, talking with friends. Az admitted that he’d walk into a room and the first thing he found was you. His shadows are always seeking out what they desire, what Az himself desires.

The bond clicked for you in the middle of a family game night.

You were all squished onto the top of Rhys apartment rooftop patio. The lack of seating caused everyone but you to have a seat to themselves. Struggling with sitting on the floor, azriel finally got annoyed enough with your figetting.

“Stop that already” Azriels firm voice spoke.

“Stop what?” You had questioned shifting your weight from one side of your ass to the other. The concert floor even with a soft blanket cushioning some of the cold and hardness still made your ass numb and sore.

He had given you a pointed look after you said that. He had let a small sigh fall from his lips with a roll of his eyes and the smallest of grins on his face. He lifted his hand and patted his thigh twice. You stared at the spymaster. A blush formed on your cheeks. “Well come on” he had said. You had quickly scrammed to get up and into his lap. Sitting with your back leaned against the armrest of the couch and both of your legs draped over his thighs.

Azriel had held you like that for the rest of the night. His right arm was thrown over the back of the couch and his left hand splayed out over your thigh. You couldn’t concentrate with the heat of him being so close.

Your senses seemed to have heightened with him being so close. The smell of his deep forest , wood and midnight rain scent had you wanting to wrap yourself around him and never let him go. The feel of his breath when he laughed about Rhys antics or cassian poking fun at Mor, had been leaving little butterflies in your stomach and his small smile he’d give you when he caught you looking at him had nearly stopped your heart.

At some point in the night Azriel had gone deathly silent and still. You didn’t notice his heated gaze on the side of your face. You had been laughing at a joke someone made when the hand on your thigh that had a death grip started tingling. You had placed your hand over top of his and quickly glanced up to the shadow singer.

You hadn’t noticed his shadows all night. Almost forgot about them all together but they had completely covered you and Az now. Forming a thick black layer of fog over the two of you.

It had felt like forever. Just staring into each others eyes not one of you wanting to say a word to the other. Scared of what was happening. You had gently reached out your hand, fingers lightly brushing the crease in between Az’s eyebrows. “What’s wrong?” You questioned him softly. You voice was barely even a whisper scared to send that soft side of azriel back into hiding like normal.

He didn’t say anything for a few seconds. His eyes are just glazing over your face. He'd look at your soft pink lips, up to the little nose that he so much adored, over your lightly freckled cheeks, then he’d catch your beautiful eyes and just stare so intensely that you felt the need to wiggle under his gaze.

The tingling on your thigh had increased as he started rubbing it. He distracted you from thinking of trying to get him to talk about the sudden issue. You pulled your eyes away from his hand on your thigh, meeting his gaze. Looking into his eyes you felt the slight snap in your mind. Your eyes had widened so much that you could’ve sworn you looked like a big eyed bug.

“Oh” you softly said startled at what just happened. “Oh?” Azriel had reiterated back to you in question an eyebrow slightly raised. “Oh my mother” you said in panic. “You, you’re, oh my mother!, you’re my mate!” you replied, stuttering over your words.

Azriels lips formed into a smile. He gently took your face in his hands to hold you still. “My mate” he said to you, just holding your eyes and smiled. “I can’t believe I found you, so close and already so much a part of the family” Azriel admitted. He slowly reached forward and kissed the tip of your nose. “I couldn’t have asked for anyone more perfect.” He whispered to you. Your breath had caught in your throat as you tried to choke back a sob threatening to escape you. You had finally found home.

how did you miss it?

You missed the distance that started to grow between the two of you. You missed how his thirty minutes late excuse slowly became an hour, then an hour became two. Eventually at some point, he stopped even letting you know he’d be missing dinner or something else.

You tried not to think too much about it. Always making excuses for him after he stopped coming up with his own.

The fire light flickered, providing a faint soft glow throughout the otherwise dark room. You shift in your chair catching the soft throw blanket laid across your thighs. Wearing his favorite little silk shorts with the matching top to go alone with the outfit you waited for your mate to come home.

A rustle was made in the quiet house. 5 am and azriel finally made it home. He was taking his coat off at the front door along with his black shoes. He had his Illyrian leathers on but most of the buckles were undone and made a slight jingle sound every time he took a step.

The pitch black house had not a sound echoing throughout it. No sign of anyone being here. No coats or shoes out of place from earlier this morning. Normally the house was filled with the lovely smell of spices found in a market stall in the city, but tonight azriel realized that he’s home a little late. Later than he has ever been.

Az made his way throughout the dark house, heading for the kitchen to look for some form of food. He passed by the living room. Not noticing the small delicate female sitting in his favorite chair by the now faint glow of the fire.

In the kitchen azriel rummaged through the cabinets looking for anything to make a snack with. His mind still a little fuzzy from the fairy wine he drank earlier at dinner. His senses slightly blocked and his shadows slightly reserved after a long night of drinking, eating and fun.

You waited patiently for the shadow singer to come back from the kitchen and realize you were sitting there in his chair. Listening carefully to the cabinets opening and closing and the shuffling around in the kitchen told you he wasn’t aware that you in fact weren’t sleeping inside the bed that is located upstairs.

Grabbing the throw blanket and wrapping it around yourself, you made your way to the arch way of the kitchen. Staring at the sight of a man you love so much shuffling around, you narrowed your eyes focusing on his slightly sluggish movements. Something you don’t see in the strict and focused posture of the shadow singer normally. Eyes glazing over the kitchen you spot some of his leathers on the small table by the back door.

“I left you a plate of tonight’s dinner in the fridge.” You spoke softly. Even with your whisper that left your lips the spay master's back muscle tensed his black shirt flexing with the action.

Azriel stilled for a couple more seconds before he turned around to face you.

“Y/N” he breathed out. “What are you going up? Did I wake you? He questioned with a tone you couldn’t quite place. “If I did my apologies, go back to bed” said azriel dismissing your presence.

Green eyes locked onto hazel eyes for a few moments. Your green eyes trail across his face down to his chest and then repeated the motion in an upward movement. Green eyes narrowed on something by Azriel’s collarbone. Hiding partly behind the black shirt collar. Azriel moved slightly making the shirt move ever so slightly fully covering the mark you were eyeing. His shadows that weren’t there a few moments ago slowly showed themselves. Wrapping around the warriors wings that were tightly tucked up to his back.

The sight of his shadows wrapping around his form a couple months ago would’ve made you weak in the knees. Now they made you mad.

your anger grew the longer you both didn’t say anything to each other. You cleared your throat one, twice, three times and azriel didn't acknowledge you.

Frustration and angry radiating off of you in waves. “Azriel!”. The emotions you were feeling definitely were detectable in your voice. Nothing could’ve hidden the feelings even if you tried. Tired of all his sneaking around, showing up late, leaving early before you can even utter a word, he’ll before you’re even up and out of bed. Tried and frustrated and just plain angry at the man standing before you, you broke completely.

You stalked towards him. Cornering the shadowsinger between you and the Corner cabinet of your kitchen. Azriel stared at you in shock. Having never seen such anger and frustration on your face directed right at him. Caused by him.

A thin hand reached out towards his shirt collar. Azriel tried to swat it away but you reached out again and grabbed the collar and yanked it down. Green blew wide open. Breathing becomes raggedy as you fixated green eyes at the marks left on his skin. Like pink in some areas and purple and red colors in the other. Azriel reach up and tried to pry your death grip off his collar but he couldn’t get you to let go.

“Y/N” he said. “Y/N, let go of my shirt, let it go”. Azriel's voice was faint in your ears. Not recognizing he was speaking to you he repeated your name once again.

Azriel stared at you. Watching emotions pass on your beautiful face. He didn’t know what to tell you. Az knew he messed up, has been messing up for months now. He didn’t know what the hell was happening with him in the first place. He didn’t know why he was hypnotized by the sweet and loving female he just left. Didn’t know why he enjoyed her company so much or why she always sought him out. He was willing to take what happened tonight to the grave. Wasn’t even an option to remotely tell you but the mother had other plans.

“Az? What- what is this? Why would you, you…” voicing creaking and breath shaky, questions fell from your lips when you recognized his voice calling your name.

The room suddenly felt way too hot, his hand engulfing yours felt like fire and lighting. Tear filled eyes shot up to his face. Threatening to spill over your wispy eyelashes. You don’t remember willing your body to move, it just decided to move on its own. You had pushed past the shadowsinger, feeling his shadows desperately circling around your wrist and up your arms. Feeling them desperately tugging at your ankles, wrapping them around your legs trying to get you to stop as Azriel followed behind you, pleading and apologizing to hear him out.

You raced up the stairs turning the corner and practically sprinting down the hallway to your shared bedroom. Spinning on your heel’s as soon as you made it through the door to slam the door in the face of your mate.

Az banged on the door “Y/N? op- open the door please.” The door knob wiggled as you slid down the door pulling your knees to your crest and finally letting the tears fall. “Baby, please just open the door, I’ll explain everything. It- it was an accident. I don’t know what happened, I’m sorry, just let me in so I can hold you, love.” Az pleaded.

You sobbed harded hearing him use nicknames that you loved. You felt him tugging and pulling hard on the bond trying to get in. Trying to show that he was there and he wasn’t going anywhere. Tears fell harder as you watched his shadows slowly glide from the crack under the door to wrap around you. You heard the movement of Az as he turned around and slid down the door.

You don’t know how long you sat there before finally the tears slowly stopped flowing and you drifted off to sleep, back against the door with tear stained cheeks and puffy eyes; with your knees pulled up to your chest and shadows wrapping around your body.

#azriel x reader #acotar #azriel #azriel shadowsinger #shadowsinger x reader #az x reader #reader x character #y/n x azriel #y/n x character

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icarus-star · 1 year

Text

smutty little charlie walker headcanons :)

a/n: hello! so, i've never really written all that much before so just bear with me okay? have fun reading! (female reader, mostly)

@shhhnoonehastoknow

18+ content ahead, pure and absolute filth!!please don't read unless your comfortable with that!!

i wanna start this off by saying, he really likes his hair being pulled

i.e, making out with him and trailing your hands to the back of his head and just *gripping* onto it

or him giving you head and then yank on his hair during that :3

speaking of him giving you head, it's probably one of his favorite things to do

he really loves just tasting you, and he's really good at it too

he eats you out like he's been starved for months

he'll finger you all while he sucks on your clit, running his tongue around it

and obviously, he whimpers so so much

he'll fr turn into a whining mess just from eating you out

anyways, he also really likes to cum on your face :3

theres just something about seeing your face covered in his sticky cum that makes him so much more excited

he also loves when you ride him!!

he'll wanna put his hands on your hips and thrust up into you, but he can't because his hands are probably all tied up

omg ride him and don't let him cum!!

then he'll just whine and whimper even more about it, poor boy just wants to cum so badly! :(

and then, when you do let him cum, he'll be so greatful and he'll be thanking you so much

and he cums so much!! his body involuntarily thrust up a bit and convulses as he moans your name, so very loudly

something else he likes a lot is being given blow jobs :3

very messy ones, specifically

like if your spit were to be getting everywhere and your gagging all from his cock, tears in your eyes as you look up at him

and then you swallow his cum for him, then call him your good boy :3

i hope that everyone enjoyed!! i'm not too confident in my writing skills of any kind so uh, bye!

#i ❤ rory culkin #rory culkin #i need him in my guts #rory culkin x reader #charlie walker #scream headcanons #charlie walker x reader #rory culkin smut #scream 4

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magpiemoon6 · 7 months

Text

Extraction point

Simon Riley x Y/N

Sad fluff !!!

Warnings: PTSD, depression, mental health issues

( I'm sorry if there is any writing mistakes I'll fix them tomorrow)

Reminder people, you are loved and deserve happiness always <3

A thousand tones feel like it’s on my chest, I cannot breathe. Like the world has chosen this exact moment to swallow me up in my pain and stress. My mind betrays me and falls in its own trap of self-doubt. I’m so far behind where I’m meant to be and the guilt of not living up to my own expectations for my inner child is eating me up. And in this moment every single mistake or failure seems to pile up in my head. I’m drowning even though I’m on land.

But he seems to be a light in my darkness, I need Simon, and before the guilt stops me, I reach for my phone under the pile of covers and duvets. Searching through the stuffy warmth till my hand claps the cold object. Pulling it to my chest, my eyes are swollen from crying and my nose is entirely blocked from my crying till my vision goes blurry.

I search for his name in my phone, I just want to hear his phone, the warmth of his voice is like a drug and the euphoria should shield me from my pit.

Si <3

“Hey, are you free a second? If not no worries x”

I feel so wrong for relying on him, but I promised Simon, that if it gets bad, we won’t shut each other out not again. That we can be each other’s extraction point.

Buzzing snaps me out of my brain unravelling in my hands. He’s calling and my heart drops because if he hears I’ve been crying he will come running and I can’t do that to him. Clearing my throat, I click to answer.

“Hello lovie” Simon says, and it feels like the flood gates are getting harder to hold shut, I just want him here and I’m so fucking selfish for that.

“Hey baby, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have texted you” I respond, I don’t want him to panic so I’m praying that my voice sounds calm, and my breathing is even enough he won’t realise.

“What happened? Tell me please y/n? I’m here” I can hear the anxiousness in his voice creep in, shit he knows and when he says that everything in me that was protecting him from my pain breaks from his kindness.

I’m crying again silent tears and my breathing stops trying helplessly to hold it in.

“I’m fine, I’m fine Simon, it’s stupid I’m sorry for disturbing you. I’m a big girl I just needed to hear your voice,” my voice is breaking as I say it, my grip on my phone is too tight. I need to let go. But I cant.

“Y/n?” the softness in his tone is so different from his voice yet hearing him say my name gives me more comfort than the dozens of duvets on top of me.

“Yes Simon?” I need to get control of my sadness, it kills me knowing he has to hear me like this.

“It’s going to be okay love” and that makes me sob harder, holding the phone away from myself so he is saved from my pain.

“Okay, thank you. Bye Si” and that’s all I can say because if I say anything else it will involve me pathetically asking him over and he deserves better than the mess I am in this moment.

So now I’m sat here in my cold dark room alone. Submerged in my pain. I’m so tired of this, I want to be better, to get better and no more need for meds and therapy and other people to hold me together. I feel pathetic as if I’m dragging on everyone’s life. I want to live without all my sadness.

I’m too sucked into my own depression to hear the door of my flat opening and shutting. Too distracted to recognize the footsteps moving towards my room.

Simon opens the door, and I don’t know how to cope with my emotions. My heart practically burst knowing he came over, giving me some hope that maybe I am worthy of his love. But then he has to see my darkness, the hypocrite I am knowing I’ve seen him where I am and gave him all my love I possibly could.

“Hey love,” he’s quiet even for him, moving through the room like he is terrified he may break something or me.

“You didn’t have too” the guilt stays heavy on my shoulders.

Knowing he is staring at me, someone who is normally so full of light now covered in darkness that fills the room and holds it down. He begins to move onto the bed gently, moving himself silently under the covers with me. My heart hurts. Loving him gives me air in my lungs, everything about him gives me hope and love. I could stare at him for a thousand years and still not get enough.

“Y/n, I love you, okay? I will be here if I’m dead or alive, a million miles away or next door.” Pulling me into his chest, the heat of his body makes the blankets feel cold.

I cant stop crying even if I wanted too, pushing my face into his chest and curling into him, I let him hold me and begin to pull away all the darkness that doesn’t seem to drown me as much now. I feel him large hand begin to gently stroke my hair, moving through it as he soothes soul with his love.

“I’m sorry,” I mumble into his chest, this makes his hand stop its rhythmic pattern of brushing through my hair. Tilting my head to his eyes.

He stares back and I fall in love all over again, those honey eyes are only filled with compassion and understanding. Before him my loneliness was my company, and everything was always so violent. But with him now I’m learning to live without violence and less loneliness.

“What’s our promise?” he asks me, still holding me tightly letting my pain wash away his love flooding me and bring me back to the now.

“That we will always be each other’s extraction point,” the quote we made up before we even started dating. The quote that we held onto before we knew our love wasn’t one sided.

“Exactly,” he says and goes back to stroking my hair and listening to my hiccupping breathing, never judging just existing with me.

“Thank you, I love you” and I mean it, the same way I know he does too. Our darkness still haunts us both, but we have learnt to comfort each other and hold out the light when we need it.

“I love you too”.

#simon riley x reader #simon riley #simon ghost riley #cod x reader #ghost cod #fluff #sad fluff #call of duty #writing #mental health

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tamsinbeybey-she-no-porcupine · 11 months

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#BBC Ghosts #ghosts bbc #I personally Hope for mundane but I fear we'll get more Pathos #Also can you Imagine little Cooper pointing at the stars wanting to hear their names and Alison says Mary #The Captain...I would bawl

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blasphemousgoggles · 9 months

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Lotte Why

A Johan Liebert x Reader. He is a pain.

Warnings: Johan is a warning (Implied Murder)

“I have an idea! Why don’t you two spend time together!”, Lotte please no. “Since you two don’t know each other well, Karl and I will get some coffee while you two have fun!”. You sigh, as much as you appreciate and love Lotte, why does she have to do this to you. You know Lotte just wants to spend time with Karl and if you get to know this guy then maybe she will finally ask out Karl but you REALLY don’t want to know him. Karl, your savior speaks up “What? Why don’t we all spend time together then?” he furrows his brow “They could get to know each other with us.” He seems apprehensive to leave Johan. You decide to try to save yourself from your fate. “Yeah, Lotte, I came out here to spend time with all of you.” Lotte acts quickly however, leaning to Karl’s ear and whispering something to him. “Oh! I see.” he appears flustered. “Johan, Lotte and I are going to go. Are you two okay with that?. Damn it Lotte! She probably told him something dumb. She gives you a pleading look, not unlike that of a sad dog. Usually you would be more than willing to go with Lotte’s antics but something about this Johan bugged you. It's not like you hated him, I mean you hardly knew the guy! But the way he just showed up at your school made you anxious, he got along with everyone else just fine. In fact most of the school’s population thinks he’s cute with his light blonde hair, piercing baby blue eyes, and sickly pale skin. While he’s certainly not attractive to you he’s rather reserved and spends most of his time alone. Johan smiled “Of course. We will see you tomorrow then.” Karl waves goodbye while Lotte winks at you. Wow you have amazing friends. She better confess otherwise you're gonna have problems.

“Bye guys!” you shout seeming fine when in reality you’re freaking out. Johan smiled but with closed eyes turned over to you. “Do you still want to get dinner?” Accepting your fate you say “Sure!”. Johan and you walk in silence. You feel like you’re suffocating. Maybe this will be a good experience, you shouldn’t just judge someone based on a gut feeling. Johan seems like a nice guy or at least a charismatic one. Johan smoothly asks “How did you meet Lotte?” finally conversation. “Ah, I met her when college first started. What about you?”. Again he smiles and talks, “I met both Lotte and Karl when I was working for Schuwald.”. You smile thinly “That’s cool. Uh- is Mr. Schuwald nice? I heard Karl mention that he lectures him a lot.” you look at the back of his head. “I hold nothing but high regards for Mr. Schuwald. I have heard he can be a bit harsh to some of the others though.”

“Oh that's interesting.” you walk past a store and notice that the TV is talking about an alleged serial killer on the run Dr. Tenma. You frown “Do you think he did it?” Johan stops walking. “Hm?” you take that as a sign to elaborate “Well I mean Dr. Tenma doesn’t seem like the type of man who would do such a thing.” He smiles “Why do you say that?” Johan seems really interested now. “Er- well I remember something about him having an alibi when the first murders occurred around him.” He’s staring at you now. You continue “He has saved a lot of people, even my relatives met him before on a trip and they said he could never do such a thing. I may be wrong but he just seems like the type of guy who wouldn’t do a crime like that.” Wow your reasoning kind of sucks but you at least got your point across. Johan walks closer to you, you try to back up but you can’t. It's gotten dark out, no one but you two are here. You’re now up against the store and his eyes widen and he stares you down even HARDER. You can probably go around him, you really should but your legs are frozen underneath his gaze. You feel as though you said something you shouldn’t have.

“He doesn’t seem like someone who would do such a thing” Johan copies your previous words, “Many people don’t seem like they could commit awful crimes but that does not make them innocent.”. You steady your eyes on him, he looks haunting. Johan continues “Do you think I could?” he questions, “Could what?” you respond. “Do such a thing?”. Your stomach growls and he immediately steps back. “Sorry I hadn’t realized how late it’s gotten. The diner is just ahead.” you can’t move. Johan slightly frowns, “My apologies I hadn’t intended to scare you.” That is such a lie. You breathe out in relief, at least he’s further away. Your relief is short lived however, he offers out his arm to you. “I’ll walk you. You seem to be very startled.” Startled. That's what you were. Johan smiles, arm still extended. Shakily you grab it. Remember you’re doing this for Lotte, she’s probably professing her love for Karl. Johan was probably just messing with you, hopefully. At least he’s hot. Johan guides you inside the diner and pulls out a seat for you. What a gentleman. Shakily you sit down while he sits right in front of you. Soon after a waiter comes over. “Thank you for dining with us today. What would you like to order?” Both of you order. The waiter nods and smiles at the both of you and quickly walks away. You’re still shaken up from earlier but you brush it off as an odd joke. “So Johan. What are you studying?” you should make the best of this situation instead of freaking out. Lotte is probably having a blast. She owes you lunch for this crap. “I study in the school of law, and you?” You nod “That’s nice. I’m a medical student.” He chuckles at that, you feel somewhat offended. “What's so funny?” Johan stops chuckling and his eyes glaze over “It just reminds me of someone?”. You feel a bit self-conscious now, “In a good way right?” he brightens up “Yes. He’s somewhat like a father to me.” Great. You got parent-zoned somehow. Actually, is this a date? Like you two went on a romantic (horrific) walk together and you even held his arm. Sure you felt borderline threatened to do so but it counts. Lotte said it was for you two to “Get to know each other”, are you dumb? You took this as a hang out. Are you on a date? Should you ask for clarification? You’re not really into Johan with your actual horrific conversation with him. Seriously for a moment you thought he was a serial killer. You decide to try and ask but the waiter comes back with your meals. “Thank you very much.” the waiter smiles and sets your food down and walks away from you two to talk with her coworkers. About an hour passes and it has gotten very late. You attempted to pay for your portion of the meal but Johan insisted that he should because “It’s the right thing” or whatever that means. “Allow me to walk you home.” He offers out his arm again. If you say no you’re going to feel bad and it is pretty late. “Are you sure? What about you?” you question uselessly. “I’ll be fine. Let’s get going.” With that he grabs your hand. Now you have to lead him to your house. Hopefully this doesn’t backfire. You walk in a comfortable silence and now you are in your neighborhood. “Right here is fine.” You’re not entirely dumb, you aren’t just going to lead a guy you hardly know to your house. Despite the time you spent with him, he seemed to speak very vaguely on topics about himself. “Oh. Okay, I hope you have a lovely evening.” Johan smiles, leans down and offers you a kiss on your forehead. It was a date. He leaves. You stand there dumbstruck. You stand there for a long time. You turn very red. In the morning you find out Lotte didn’t confess, you see Johan a lot now though.

#johan liebert x reader #johan liebert #naoki urasawa's monster #monster #monster johan liebert #lotte frank #karl neuman #x reader

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whiskeyswifty · 3 months

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putting this under read more so if you don't know how to be normal about a discussion of reputation (the album) or ariana grande (if you choose to read it'll make sense, i promise) you can just keep scrolling

i had an epiphany today when thinking about the artistic exercise of Eternal Sunshine, ari's new album, which was not an epiphany about it's execution. that much is very clear and i enjoyed very much upon first listen, but if you want a refresher is this: after a very publicly broadcast and discussed personal scandal, the dissolution of her short-lived marriage and her appearing as the romantic entanglement in someone else's marriage dissolution, the interested general public was hotly anticipating her next album. they had expectations that she would discuss/confess/air her dirty laundry about these events, as she is a semi-autobiographical and confessional songwriter and performer, at least when it comes to her most prolific personal affairs. these expectations were brought to higher levels of titillation when she named the album after the titular movie, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I won't get into the plot as you can use google if you don't know and didn't have the pleasure of having your brain exploded as a teenager watching that in a college dorm room, but everyone of course anticipated the relationship that she would be exorcizing from her memory would be that of her ex husband. Ariana, knowing full well this is what people were going into her album expecting, decided to play with these expectations in a particularly fun bait and switch game artists of all kinds are known to do on occasion. first with the lead single, which is an interestingly offensive approach, scolding news and media outlets for talking about her life and judging it without knowing her. then if you've listened to the album, you of course realized very quickly that while there are a few songs where she starts off by giving the audience what they wanted (be it the bad behavior anthem the boy is mine or ex diss tracks like boy bye and the title track), the lead single was perhaps more of the central focus of the album after all. Songs that begin talking about liars and breakups soon weave contradictory elements in (wait she will wait for their love? i thought they broke up? situationship? weren't they married?) and depending on your self awareness, at least by the end you realize that perhaps a large chunk of the album was not about her jilted lovers or current messy romantic life, but about you. the fan, the critic, the audience writ large. songs like true story where you think it's about her lying ex husband, but by the time you get halfway in, you realize oh wait... perhaps its about more than one thing, or something else entirely... perhaps the ones "fantasizing about her demise" and the ones who "pay to see play the scene" are her audience. to whom she is biting and vindictive in her martyrdom, being whatever the public wants her to be so she can keep that love, because attention is still love in the eyes of a pop star. songs like we can't be friends play with that expectation that you think it will be about her ex husband or the early stages of her sneaking around with her new beau, but no, it is about how fraught her relationship is with her fans and audience. how pop stars do not have actual "friendly" relationships with said fans because of how fickle and superficial they are, how little these fans/audiences really know her at all due to the triple-paned window between them, but how desperate pop stars are for the love of those hands pressed against the glass. she slips in these fraught emotions and turmoil amongst the gossip you gobble, a little sugar to help the medicine go down in a way. But not too finger wagging, as often it's hard to tell what the song is truly about. all you know is it's not as simple as "my ex husband sucks." She knew all eyes and ears would be on this album and toyed with the listener to the point where she got them to listen to her airing her grievances to them about themselves, pay her even to hear it. a delicious little feat.

and of course by now you know where i'm headed, which is we know someone who did something quite similar. had a public scandal, understood the expectations of her, a singer/songwriter, releasing an album after said scandal and toyed with the expectations of that audience with that album. one she cheekily named reputation, doing the opposite of what ari did. where ari played into the promise of a gossipy album about her relationships but turned it into a confessional meditation on fame and the ups and downs of what it's like to be a popstar, taylor promised that discussion by titling it reputation, but her bait and switch was that she ended up telling you gossip about her new relationship. like ESotSM, reputation does dabble in what was promised up front, but as gleaned by listening yourself and as proclaimed by the artist herself, the album ultimately was more interested in gabbing about her newfound happiness where you expected fraught sadness.

this is not a discussion about which one is more "successful" if you can even quantify that. you can't really, outside of capitalist metrics which as we know are not arbiters of taste or quality. (and personally i'm way more interested in hearing the rarely revealed musings of a pop star wrestling with the way they've shackled their self worth to public opinion and fame, rather than hearing some girl talk about another one of her boyfriends. so it's no secret which one i find more artistically stimulating lol). but more of an epiphany that these two women, under similar duress of having their narratives taken from them, lives judged without any grace given, resorted to the same tactic. regaining control in what small way they could, luring people in with the bait of gossip and pop stars self flagellation that they so cravenly desired and force feeding them something else once they'd waded too far in to turn back. startlingly self indulgent and vindictive for someone who's job it is to appeal to as many people as possible, which makes it so curious to me.

Most interesting to me is the conclusion of both of these creative and pseudo-therapeutic endeavors. While taylor claimed to have found peace and refuge from the thirst for public approval (although you could argue that metatexuauly, the release of an album about it, the subsequent massive tour, and her obvious devastation on grammy nomination day as depicted in MA say otherwise), Ariana comes to a similar conclusion in her three closing tracks. first, i wish i hated you which is the piece de resistance in this experiment in dubiousness, as it offers two readings impossible to irrefutably confirm. a song that quietly and beautifully speaks about a dissolution without any obvious wrongdoer or wrongdoing. just a natural drifting apart and how hating them would be easier than accepting some things just don't work, no rhyme or reason. in what sounds like one take, refreshingly tactile in sound and her breath catching towards the end, is this ariana bearing her truth about her divorce finally? confessing that sorry to disappoint, but there is no "tea" or drama, just two adults who weren't right for each other and mature enough to know that and part amicably? or is this about you? us? the pursuit of fame and the connection to an audience she tried so hard to achieve and enjoy, but has realized that it just isn't right for her? her choice to step back and away from the love she has come to want so desperately, but knows isn't good for her, despite not being able to find it in her heart to hate her fans/audience as much as she secretly wants to? It's followed up by imperfect for you which argues the opposite. is this about her new yellow rectangular beau who takes her with all her flaws as she is? does she feel understood by him and has found peace in him? or was the previous one truly about her husband and this one is about her fans and audience, who she feels love her despite her messiness and bad behavior and imperfections, to say the least? are they both about the audience? or neither? they allow room for both, purposefully so, and she's taken to not really talking about in detail it at all, perhaps an answer in and of itself.

the closing track ultimately ends in the same place as taylor. less of an answer but a discovery of peace with the reality of it all. for ariana, ordinary days is once again elusive in it's subject, as it talks about how she has found comfort in the subject with whom there are never going to be "ordinary days." is this a person? her family perhaps, as her grandmother is pointedly featured at the end? or is this once again about her fraught relationship with her fans, for whom she can credit for making no day ordinary ever again, as they have made her extraordinary with their adulation and love? and is she saying for better or worse, happy or sad, it's never ordinary and that's what makes it all worth it in the end? her grandmother's speech that caps off the album is rather contradictory to everything ariana has done in her romantic life thus far. among other things, she says "I mean, I could have packed up and left a million times, you know? It's not that we never fought, you can overcome that, you know?" We just listened to a whole album about how she did leave and didn't overcome the problems in her marriage.... or did we listen to her talk about her relationship to us, the listener, and how she didn't leave fame behind and despite the turmoil, constant and never ending and never tipped in her favor, she is choosing to overcome it every time... once again?it's hard to know as always with art, but it's a path laid out for you to choose as you wish. another question to answer the initial question on the album that she poses in track one, less to us and more to herself. She asks "How can I tell if I'm in the right relationship... If the moon went dark tonight and it all ended tomorrow, would I be the one on your mind?... and if it all ended tomorrow, would you be the one on mine?" Her and taylor (when they point to the pictures, please tell them my name // i'm still trying everything to get you looking at me) and Beyoncé (the legacy, if it's the last thing I do. you'll remember me) and all anointed pop stars probing the same question. not asking us if we will remember them, but asking themselves if the pursuit of that immortality is worth all of it, the self-crucifixion of fame. is this what they're going to choose? is she going to erase us from her memory or are we going to be her great love despite our fickle nature and the guaranteed pain and suffering? The album, much like the movie, offers no clear answer as to what the right choice is, or that she's even capable of being someone who could dole out such wisdom, but ultimately decides maybe there is no choice at all. we can't go back. we are all moths to one flame or another, forever changed by what we do and what we become. a non-answer that i had never really thought about before, that instead interrogates the very question as something worth asking in the first place. which perhaps it isn't. we do what we do because we must, so at least don't do it alone.

#discouraging stans and the morality police who can't engage with art that isn't puritan #i just wanna compare and contrast the art women make #also this is insanely long but i kind of got going and couldn't reign it in sorry #anywayyyyyyy as usual *dumps shit on the porch of my mutuals and followers* here #my silly little essays

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