#even down to the music foreboding that something will happen
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I’m listening to an interview to James Wan about M3gan and his career and he’s just said “creating creeps, like, a creepy atmosphere, is the hardest thing”
And I’m picturing Robert Eggers
#I don’t like James wan#I did like M3gan but he didn’t direct it#and I liked Malignant#and the first Saw I guess#but they also talked about jumpscares and he was like ‘this is how you make good jumpscares’#and I have never been impressed by even one of his jumpscares so#like I don’t necessarily hate jumpscares but I hate when I can predict them down to when they’ll happen#even down to the music foreboding that something will happen#WHY DO HORROR DIRECTORS DO THAT BTW????#just make the thing pop up with no crescendo in music or anything#JUST THROW IT AT ME!!!!#I won’t get affected or anything bc I’m way past that but at least it’ll be fun and unexpected
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All the Difference
Sam and Dean Winchester & little sister!reader
Requested by Anonymous and Anonymous (I combined to similar requests)
Synopsis: The brothers help you through one of your frequent migraines.
Warnings: migraines, pain, honestly it’s mostly fluff. I’m no expert on migraines but I had a few in high school so I’m going off that experience, there could be some mistakes.
You went to the library of the bunker with a familiar sense of foreboding. It had started with your vision, as it always did. An annoying little spot at the corner of your eyes that was oddly blurry. It continued like that for nearly half an hour, and after that was when the pain started.
“Hey, how’d you sleep?” Sam greeted as you entered the library. His jovial tone dropped when he saw the look on your face. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
“It’s happening again,” you mumbled, coming to stand in front of your brother.
“Does it hurt yet?” He asked gently, reaching out and grabbing your hands.
“Only a little,” you sighed. But it would get worse, it always did.
“Do you want to try and sleep?” Sam asked, his thumbs brushing over the back of your hands.
You shook your head.
“You wanna eat something?”
Another shake.
“Hey guys,” Dean greeted much too loudly, and Sam frowned when he saw you flinch.
“Easy man,” he chided. “She’s got a migraine.”
“Sorry,” Dean all but whispered. “How bad is it?”
“I think it’s gonna be a bad one,” you said gloomily. Bad migraines could last for days; you were in for a rough week.
“Alright, c’mon,” Dean said, grabbing his jacket.
“What?” You frowned up at him.
“No use just sitting around waiting for it to get worse. Let’s go for a drive.”
…
Dean reclined your seat before stepping back to let you get in. You did without argument, and Dean ran around the front to his own seat. The roar of the engine should’ve made you flinch, but despite how loud it was there was something comforting about the familiar sound.
Dean turned on the radio, but to your surprise it wasn’t his head-banging Metallica; instead he had one of your favorite songs, turned down low enough that it didn’t bother you.
Neither of you spoke as Dean pulled away from the bunker and started down the open road. You didn’t have to. He was humming softly to your songs, and you were relaxing in the passenger seat, lulled by Baby’s gentle purr and the soft music. Your migraine was steadily getting worse, and every bump on the road had you cringing, but all-in-all it was better than sitting in the artificial light of the bunker, moping and waiting for it to get worse.
Eventually, though, the bumps became unbearable, and so did the sunlight creeping over the hood of the Impala and reflecting past your eyes and straight into your head, like it was shining onto your migraine itself.
“Dean?” You mumbled finally, and he hummed in acknowledgement. “Can we go back now?”
“You ok?” He asked even as he swung the Impala into a U-turn.
“Hurts.” You brought your hands up to cover your eyes, but it didn’t help.
“Ok it’s ok, we’re not far, just hang in there.”
Dean lowered the volume on the radio even more, and you could tell he was taking extra care to miss the potholes lining the road. He pulled out his phone and made a call.
“Hey, Sammy? Yeah we’re headed back now. Blackout.”
“Blackout” meant that Sam would turn off all the lights in the bunker, except for some candles or dim lights to see by. You always told your brothers that they didn’t have to do it; you could always just hibernate in your room. But they wanted the whole bunker migraine-friendly whenever you were in pain, so they did it anyway.
“You doin’ ok over there?” Dean asked after he hung up. You nodded, unwilling to speak as your head pounded.
“Ok, well I want you to drink some water when we get back to the bunker. I know that won’t make it go away, but it can’t hurt either.”
You knew arguing would be futile, and you didn’t have the energy to do it anyway.
When you got back to the bunker, you waved you hand blindly for the car door, hesitant to open your eyes. You didn’t have to; your door opened up without your aid, and Dean was there, lifting you into his arms.
“It’s my head that’s broken, not my legs,” you protested even as you relaxed against your brother’s shoulder.
“Shut up,” Dean replied, and the rumble of his voice in his chest felt oddly good against your aching forehead. “I’m gonna take you to the couch, ok?”
Your head hurt too much for words or even a nod, so you just let silence be your assent.
Dean carried you into the bunker and straight to the couch, and you had to admit that it was nice without the glaring lights on.
Dean had you on the couch with your favorite fluffy blanket over you in record time, and a few minutes later he had you surrounded by water bottles as though they were guards protecting you.
“I’ve gotta head to the library and catch up on some lore,” he said finally. “So it’s Sam’s turn to play nursemaid for a while.”
“You don’t have to—“ you started, but Dean was already gone, and within minutes Sam arrived to take his place, a steaming bowl in his hands.
“I know you don’t want food,” he said before you could speak. “But you should probably get something in you, so I brought you some broth. Think you can handle that?”
You nodded wearily, hesitant to sit up. You were getting hungry, but the last thing you wanted was to give your stomach something to reject later.
“Alright.”
You groaned as Sam put a hand behind your back and lifted you to sit up.
“Yeah yeah,” he said, not sounding quite as pitying anymore. “You gotta sit up to eat.”
This brought a tiny smile to the corner of your lips, but it dropped fast as your head pounded in retribution for your movements. At your wince, Sam frowned.
“Sorry, honey,” he said softly.
“Not your fault,” you mumbled, making grabby hands for the bowl in his hands.
Once you had about half the bowl finished, you offered it back to Sam and he took it, satisfied enough.
He set it on the side table before coming to sit next to you on the couch.
“I was gonna lay there,” you protested.
“I know,” Sam said, lifting his giant hand up to pull your head down. Cradling the back of your head, he lowered you slowly to lay down, your head resting in his lap. Your eyes fluttered closed as your big brother ran his fingers feather-light through your hair.
After a few minutes, his hands left your hair, and you peaked one eye open to see him straining for a book on the bookshelf. He reached it and pulled it back, and you closed your eyes again as Sam cracked it open, before continuing to brush his fingers through your hair.
He started to read aloud, his voice loud enough so you didn’t have to strain but quiet enough that it felt soothing.
You appreciated this more than just about anything; screens were a definite no during migraines, and there were very few things that you could do to keep yourself from going insane with boredom when your head hurt too much to sleep.
That was how the whole afternoon was spent; at some point you and maybe even Sam dozed off before continuing, but for the most part he spent his whole afternoon reading to you.
After a dinner of some more reheated broth, Dean emerged from the library and came to sit with you and Sam.
“Hey sweetheart,” Dean greeted. “How we doing?”
“We have a migraine,” you mumbled sarcastically.
“Oh really?” Dean quipped as he lifted your legs, sitting on the couch and then lowering your legs back down and into his lap.
“Not funny,” you huffed even as you made yourself comfortable.
The three of you lapsed into a comfortable silence for the rest of the night. Neither of the brothers went to their beds, and they didn’t offer to bring you to yours either; they knew that you wanted to be with them when you were hurting. You were certain that you could live through a million more migraines as long as you had your big brothers.
Sam taking time out of his busy life to relax with you and distract you from the pain for a bit was the best thing he could do for you. The same was true with Dean taking you out in Baby.
Though nothing they did could take away your pain, they did everything they could to make sure you could still have good times between the pain, and that made all the difference in the world.
Taglist:
@nyotamalfoy @mrvlxgrl @chocorade @aestheticdaisies @inlovewhithafairytale
#dean winchester#the winchesters#dean and sam#dean winchester x reader#supernatural dean#dean winchester x you#winchesters x reader#sam winchester#sam winchester x reader#winchesters x sister#dean winchester x little sister!reader#dean winchester x sister!reader#dean winchester x sister#spn sam winchester#sam winchester x sister!reader#Sam Winchester x little sister!reader
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Someone knocks on the door just as Vaggie's passing by. She glances towards the kitchen, where most of the others are gathered. Charlie is off somewhere else in the hotel, probably checking up on the spare rooms.
The knocking happens again, louder this time.
Vaggie frowns. She isn't the most powerful in the hotel—that title goes to Charlie first, then Alastor—but she's pretty good in a fight, if she says so herself. It's better if she's the one to open the door rather than any of the others.
Before she can second-guess herself, she's turning the knob and pulling the door open.
Vaggie, of course, regrets her decision immediately.
Standing there, in front of the hotel door, is Vox. Yes, that Vox. The Technology Overlord. The CEO of VoxTek. The demon with a TV for a head.
He's standing in front of the hotel door holding a box in one hand with the other poised to knock.
Vaggie stares.
"Hey—"
She shuts the door on him, trying to process what's happening.
Vaggie opens the door for the second time, just to make sure he's really there.
"—kid."
She shuts the door again, now fully realizing that Vox is here, he's standing in front of the hotel door, and that's definitely not a good thing since he and Alastor are arch-nemeses who hate each other with a passion. They're going to see each other and then this place will be destroyed when they start fighting.
"Charlie?" Vaggie calls out.
Charlie peeks around the corner. "What is it Vaggie?"
Vaggie points over her shoulder frantically. "Charlie, the Technology Overlord is at the door!"
Charlie blinks. "What?"
Vaggie's not sure why but she has a foreboding feeling. "What do I do?"
"Let him in, of course!" Without missing a beat, Charlie waltzes up to the door and throws it open before tackling the Overlord with a hug. "It's so good to see you!"
Vaggie stares incredulously. "Huh?"
Vox returns her hug with full force. "Charlie! I heard some music on the radio today so I thought I'd drop by. Where is he?"
"He's in the kitchen!"
"Thanks kid." Vox shoots her some finger guns before heading towards the kitchen.
Vaggie runs after him. She cannot let him and Alastor meet. Charlie's dream depends on it.
She gets there just as soon as Vox and Alastor lock eyes with each other.
Vaggie takes in the situation quickly. Angel looks more nervous than usual, and he's avoiding looking at Vox. Husk looks grumpy as ever, and he's not even paying attention to whatever's going on. Niffty is staring at Vox, smiling.
Vaggie prepares herself to summon her spear in case anything happens.
Charlie comes up behind her.
Vaggie watches Alastor stare Vox down. He doesn't look angered, like she expected. He looks more annoyed than anything.
"You're late," Alastor says flatly.
What.
Vox looks Alastor up and down. "Sorry babe, traffic was a bitch."
What?
Alastor rolls his eyes and turns back to the stove. "Go set the table."
What the fuck?
Vox flashes him a grin before heading towards the cabinets.
Vaggie stares thoroughly baffled.
Charlie laughs nervously. "Yeah, uh, I may have forgotten to tell you about my other other dad…"
Vaggie sighs. She'll deal with this later. It's dinnertime and Alastor's food is something she doesn't want to miss out on. She smiles at Charlie. "Tell me after dinner hon."
I love this I love this I love this so so so SO much. New context w Vaggie being an exorcist Charlie really couldn't be mad at her in this au bc the conversation would go like
"You didn't tell me you were an angel??" "You didn't tell me you have three dads and two are dangerous overlords" "...touche"
Post(s) this is referencing: will add later
#ask#staticradio#dadstaticradio au#i got ur first ask and im so sorry for not responding soon enough#i was distracted by the new eps#i wont post both unless you want me to#fanfiction
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Exotica 6 | It's Contagious
The time was inching closer and the weight of your reality hung on your shoulders like a foreboding omen
Since Inosuke’s arrival, you have discovered many things about yourself
Briefly of how you came to be here, what your purpose was
As painful as it had been to find out you had answers
Answers that gave you a mission during the battle
Of course, saving as many as you could
But confronting him in a battle of your own
Nonetheless, the weight of your coming battle brought a cloud of anxiety over you
Something everyone seemed privy to as you switched homes once again:
“Exotica-sama seems so down lately.”
“I agree, maybe it's all the girls committing ashinuke.”
“I hope not! They shouldn’t cry over those cowards.”
Zenitsu couldn’t hear the end of it. Constant chatter and gossip surrounding Oiran Warabahime and Exotica, the latter being the most positive. It all made for good information to report on but it made the fearful demon slayer’s stomach clench with foreboding.
It was eased for a moment when he caught Exotica’s gaze landing on him. The moment was so magical, he cursed the sound Hashira for such a crippling disguise. As ‘Zenko’ all he could do was stay silent as the girls woefully spoke on his behalf.
“As you can see…she’s quite the looker…right?”
“No no, Exotica-sama said we couldn’t be so insulting! Its bad manners!”
“Well, what am I supposed to say?”
Sat in the official temporary quarters of Exotica’s Zenko was being officially introduced. Having previously been scoffed at by the Oiran he was prepared to hear the same from the dark beauty that the Yukaku District seemed to praise. To say he was taken with you, would be inaccurate he was obsessed. Even the sound of your steps brought a sweltering heat on his body and blood rushed to all parts of his body with unhealthy excitement. Which proved inconvenient at some points+
“Forget that! Exotica-sama, we wanted to show you Zenko’s one redeeming quality. We thought she’d be perfect…and maybe make you happy.”
“...yes, go ahead then.”
Dazzling beauty aside he could only explain it as his intuition for gorgeousness but it seemed like you were in a haze. Shrouded eyes clouded with something intense; a burden you couldn’t divulge no matter who came to you. He noted the yearning in everyone, especially the suspicious Warabihime whose mood seemed to sour when you listlessly regarded her.
Shamisen in hand he began to strum, playing a tune he didn’t know. It felt as though he heard somewhere before. It overtook his fingers and the chords of his throat, humming an upbeat song.
You lifted your head as the familiar song graced your ears. A musical beacon in a fog of doubt, playing just for you. You took off your hat as quietly as you could setting it besides yourself as you finally registered what was happening. The Zenitsu Agamatsu, the demon slayer was dressed up like a girl and playing for you. You were in a world where humans took on demons and won! What was a deity to a human with overwhelming knowledge about the world you were in? What was the mere power of the sun in the dark of night against the power of the moon? This wasn’t reality, this was the world crafted from the imagination of Koyoharu Gotouge and it should be a given that you as the underdog should have the upper hand.
You raised your hand to pull away your dampened veil, using it to give a tentative wipe to your eyes as you keep your eyes on him. His eyes were closed focused on bringing the song to its end he missed your reveal and the shock it garnered from the girls around him. When he finally did let himself look up. Eyes clear and smiling, he beholds the true beauty of Exotica and he couldn’t be more inclined to protect you and your smile.
“Thank you, Zenko. I needed that.”
He bowed if only to hide the blush shining through his makeup, following the lead of the girls who were gleefully bowing as well. You continued to smile closing your eyes to relish in your returned confidence.
Rendering all of you oblivious to the infuriated Oiran standing at the door.
#yandere kimetsu no yaiba#yandere demon slayer x exotica#yandere kimetsu no yaiba x exotica#yanderes x poc reader#yandere demon slayer#yandere kny x poc reader#yandere x reader#yandere x you#lovelyyandereaddictionpoint#yanderexrea#yandere kny#yandere harem#yanderes#yandere#yandere kny x reader#Exotica demonslayer#yandere zenitsu#yandere zenitsu agamatsu#yandere x darling#yandere daki x reader
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youtube
I love this movie. Edipo re. God the actress playing Jocasta is so beautiful. And the actor playing oedipus is handsome.
Anyway, this scene and music really speaks to me. I also have a weird pleasure. I like watching women breast feed. I find it lovable. The bond between her and her baby. What do you think?
..................
You were in Germany and your triplets were almost three months old. That's right. You returned to earth. Thanks to your studies of Pandora plants.
You helped cultivate earth. Well, not just you. Many scientists returned to earth after the battle.
The battle that costed the life of the Colonel.
The father of your children.
Here you were. A young single mom and widow. You were married to him by law. Since you were forced to sign a marriage certificate. You were legally Mrs. Miles Quaritch. The fallen Marine soldier who sacrificed for humanity.
What a lie. He died for humans. Not humanity.
Maybe if it was not for his wrong beliefs, you might have loved him. But, he was rude to anyone who didn't agree to his opinions. Like your fellow scientists. So... You shook your head. Nah. You could never love an arrogant prick like him.
You admitted you were attracted by his looks. He looked so young despite his age. He would have tricked people thinking he was in his early forties or late thirties if it were not for his gray hair.
Maybe you lusted after him. That was the closest of romantic feelings.
He baby trapped you to never leave him. But, he left you instead. His remaining family members welcomed you with open arms. They joked how you didn't look nothing like your babies. Not even Isabella Maria. Might as well look like a kidnapper.
You inherited a cottage from the late colonel. He made a will before he died. All assets to you. Even his mother's wedding ring. It melted your heart and made you feel guilt. He must have loved you.
But, would he have loved you have you not been lovely? You thought not. He probably just lusted you.
You were quiet as you used a stroller to ride your babies around a garden close to the cottage. It was filled with thick trees and dark green grass. It was so refreshing away from the city life.
Ironic that Quaritch wanted to industrialize Pandora yet own farms and cottages.
The Colonel was a stubborn and hypocritical tyrant.
You hoped your sons won't be like him later. You looked down at the blonde baby on your lap. You placed your other two babies on a blanket next to you on the grass. You were breast feeding Miles first then will switch to the others when done.
The first born son was sucking the milk straight out. He was always the rowdiest. A little tiger. Energetic too.
You were scared of Miles the most. You hoped he wouldn't join the Marines.
He reminded you of Quaritch the most. Val was second. Luckily, Isabella Maria acted like you. Princess like.
You looked up and stared at the distance. You had a strange feeling in your heart all of a sudden. Like something bad and evil will happen in the future. But when? Foreboding. You titled your head in confusion. You felt this feeling once before. Almost two years ago at the base in Pandora....
You saw a man in a wheelchair who looked lost. You offered him help. You knew where the orientation room was. So, you pushed his wheelchair there. A tall and muscular man was walking around and speaking.
You tried to leave. He ordered you to stay despite not working under him. You obeyed. He felt out of place. You weren't a soldier. You were the youngest medic scientist. You came two weeks ago at the base from earth. You were kind of new. But being a scientist had no orientation sessions like this. That was why you never met the head of security.
He suddenly stopped walking then stared down at you. You then felt it the first time. You were sadly ogled all your life since birth. A damn ornament and sex object.
People assumed you had an easy life for being the most lovely.
They were wrong indeed.
He looked different than the other perverts. He looked as if he was... Insane. Hungry to the core. He looked as if he wanted to murder you. Despite his job of protecting you. Keeping you alive. He announced he will not succeed for all.
You must be one of the casualties then. He looked as if he will not protect you from himself.
You were starting to regret coming to the base away from your father. Being alone and unprotected.
You lowered your eyes to submit to his cold piercing eyes. You gulped in nervousness. You wanted to go home.
"understand, my dear?" He asked mocking and teasing you.
You looked up and bit your lips. You nodded.
He raised a brow. "I want words, doll." He sternly ordered.
You felt yourself pale in fear. An ugly shiver dances down your spin. "yes, sir."
He grinned in amusement. There was something sadistic on his smile. Like he won a victory against you. Like you lost a challenge when you don't remembering entering one. You wished you were with Grace and Trudy. You met them the first week you came. They seemed to like you. The closest to being friends on this weird planet.
Max and beth seemed to accept you.
But, they were weak staff members. And this Colonel had power.
He nodded. "Good girl." He then spun around with his muscular back towards you and talked again before humiliating a skinny man who was dozing off.
After dismissing the room. You were ordered to stay again. He asked you for your name and occupation. He looked disappointed and offended when he realized you were a scientist. You noticed how almost all soldiers were rude to the scientists. He must have been one of them.
"Let me walk you to the labs. It's dangerous for a lady to wonder alone." He flashed you his white teeth. It didn't looked genuine.
You forced a smile that was not real as well. You wanted to refuse. You rather risk being alone than be with him. But your better judgement made you agree.
Now in the present, you wondered what will happen in the future.
Au. I got this scene from this yandere Quaritch series called infatuation. I hope the author will not be mad that I copied her. I really love that series. Her name is nervoused. She inspired many stories of mine. Go support her.
#avatar#yandere miles quaritch x reader#miles quaritch#miles quaritch x reader#yandere miles quaritch#recom miles quaritch#dark miles quaritch#spider avatar#spider#Youtube
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The fact that Brad and Janet sing their big romantic duet in a graveyard and a funeral serves three main points, in my opinion. Most directly, it quickly communicates to the audience that this is not just a straightforward love song in a straightforward musical.
By having them run around and sing while seemingly totally oblivious to their grim surrounding, doodle on the church’s doors and barge in on a stranger's funeral - it communicates to the audience that we’re not supposed to take this song totally seriously and we are supposed to find Brad and Janet at least kinda mockable and worthy of criticism in their ‘wholesomeness’.
Secondly, it foreshadows that Brad and Janet’s seemingly happy engagement is doomed to end by the end of this story. Especially as the size of the coffin implies this is a funeral for a child. Brad and Janet’s engagement is also going to ‘die’ very very young.
Thirdly, I think it indicates that the engagement itself is something foreboding and that the whole song is less happy than it appears on the surface. Like the backdrop of the song is betraying some of Brad and Janet’s true feelings. Especially note how the song starts on the Ominous Thunder that hints on the storm to come.
I mean, I don’t think that it’s a brand-new-super-hot-take to point out that Brad and Janet were probably repressing a lot of their own desires to fit in with the conservative heteronormative culture they came from - and that what happened within the Frankenstein’s Place was less about them being corrupted by a totally outside force and more about them letting out already-existing repressed parts of themselves.
So, even if Brad and Janet truly love each other, I think that, deep down, the happy happy heteronormative monogamous wedded life this song celebrates is not the kind of love they would want to have together. That’s the importance of Janet beating the other girls to the brides’ bouquet. Due to the superstition that whoever catches the bouquet will be the next to marry, that kinda puts pressure on Brad to propose to ‘fulfil’ that belief. Would he have proposed to Janet that day if the bouquet didn’t make him feel obliged to do so?
And I think at least some of Janet’s eagerness to marry is probably more about, well, Janet lived all her life in a very sexually repressed culture, but she is also secretly very very horny. Becoming a married woman was the only way she was allowed to have sex without being labeled as some sort of, well, Slut. I think that she was eager to finally be able to have sex while still being a Good Christian GirlTM.
This aspect of marriage is also referenced in the Ralph and Betty Wedding.
And note how the implication here is that the wedding is what Betty wanted and the sex is just something Ralph gets from her in return. Janet’s environment was such that even in the one condition in which she was allowed to have sex, the idea of her own sexual desires was underplayed - she was just there to fulfill Brad's. Even though, deep down, Janet is clearly the Hornier of the two.
But in Brad and Janet’s life, marriage - and all the specific gender roles and sexual expectations that came with it, was seen as inevitability, maybe on the same level that death is an actual inevitability. Brad and Janet could try and make a happy production out of it, but the backdrop betrays their true feelings about it.
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I'm so nervous to put him through this, but for the milestone 5.0:
Kyojuro with prompt 16? It can be SFW or NSFW, doesn't matter to me
I'm scared, but hurt me 😂
MILESTONE 5.0
Hi! ☺️ I started getting #in my feelz writing your drabble, but I feel like I stopped before it got too intense ?? 😆 And then I went back and wrote some more. 💀 Thanks so much for participating❣️
I’m still here in the darkness, back where we started, you make me a heartless monster. — You Don't Go to Parties
CW: alcohol, explicit language
For the third time, in no less than thirty minutes, you shrug off the feeling that someone’s watching you, back pressed into the grimy wall of your best friend’s friend’s roommate’s apartment. Loud, unfamiliar music grabs at your skin, goosebumps raised despite the sweltering heat of too many bodies surrounding you, darkness blurring your perception of expressions and movements, the nostalgia of sipping rum and coke out of a red solo cup doing little to ease the knot between your shoulder blades. You don’t go to parties anymore, for a multitude of reasons, the dread in your stomach threatening to churn when you check your phone. How the fuck is it barely 9pm? You’d promised your best friend you’d stop by and stay for at least an hour, resigning yourself to people watching and anxiety suppressing after a mere five minutes of chatting with them, ending with your firm encouragement to Go talk to them! I’ll be fine! They’re totally eyeing you!
“I’m too fucking old for this,” you grumble, frustration swallowed by that same feeling, eyes squeezing shut in denial, nose scrunching as you tip your head back to down the rest of your drink, “Shit.”
A glimmer of deep red in your peripheral is your only warning, and then a heavy, aching scent fills your lung, cough forced from your chest as panic surges.
“Why are you here?”
His voice slices through your panic, soft and foreboding, so different from his typical enthusiastic exuberance — so different from when he was someone. When he was Kyojuro.
“Why are you here?” he asks again. Demands.
“Hi,” you manage to wave, awkwardness tingling in your fingers, “I’m leaving soon,” biting your tongue to stop the instinctive I promise from spilling onto his perfectly ironed button down.
“Good.”
“Y’know,” you blurt, confused by his stillness, dazed by his proximity, “I’m allowed to go to parties.”
His mouth twists into something bitter and ugly, tone bland, throat tightening, “I am aware.”
“So don’t be such an asshole,” you huff, irritation momentarily collapsing your pit of melancholy, “You look out of place too,” muttered petulantly, wishing he didn’t look so appealing, shoulders broad with tension and, “Are you angry or sad?”
“Do not act so casually toward me,” he bites, loneliness swelling with the urge to pluck your red solo cup from your grip — to offer you his trembling hand instead, “You ruined me.”
That coaxes a rough laugh from you, fleeting tenderness replaced by an uncanny smile, panic turned to dust in the wake of his righteousness.
“Tell me, then, tell me exactly how I ruined you.”
“I thought you were leaving.”
“Aww, are you too good for me now?” you scowl, arms crossing, “I’m sure you found somebody to fix you up after I ruined you. I bet it wasn’t hard either, moving on to another warm body, what with how pretty and perf-”
You would’ve missed his interjection if you weren’t clinging to every breath of his kissing your forehead, so close you could comfort him. You could trace the shadows under his eyes with the plush of your thumbs. Could caress the strain from his limbs. Tautness melting as you coat him with forgiveness. Could, but you won’t.
He nearly chokes on a stifled sob, hating himself for even looking at you, “You were never a warm body to me,” hating himself for ever losing you.
“So what happened to your heart?” you scoff, sick on the high of hurting him, desperate to let him go, “How exactly did I ruin you?”
“You taught me how to love you, and nobody else.”
You snort, his facade unraveling word by word, steel in his sternum as you stare cruelly, “Well isn’t that cliche.”
“I want to hold you. I want to hold you, and watch the sun rise on your face. I want to feel your eyelashes flutter against my cheek when you wake, just as they do when you drift to sleep. I want to see your nose crinkle when you smell my morning breath, to hear you giggle as I kiss you anyway. I…”
How he hasn’t let any tears fall yet, he’s not quite sure. He suspects it has to do with the thinness of your lips, or the steadfast silence with which you listen to him, not a sliver of gentleness evident as he eviscerates himself. For you.
“… I miss you. I miss you, and I apologize, and… I, I have no desire to learn how to love anyone new.”
“And I have no desire to be loved by you,” you lie to him, point blank, recoil more violent than a gun, “I’m leaving.”
If Kyojuro slinks from party to party, weekend after weekend, month after month, a year and running, hoping to catch a glimpse of your regret, then you’re none the wiser.
#milestone event#5.0#kyojuro rengoku#rengoku kyojuro#kyojuro x reader#rengoku x reader#flame hashira#drabble#modern au#kimetsu no yaiba#demon slayer
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Review: The Last Airbender Episode 1 - “Aang”
“Long ago, the four nations lived in harm-”
Lol nope. What is it with writers these days fumbling exposition? You had a template, and you botched it.
I nitpicked the heck out of Disney’s Percy Jackson because if you say you’re going to adapt a book, it’s not a very far leap in logic to hope the script might follow said book. But aside from the likes of Twilight, following the source material as it was written never happens.
Netflix had an even easier job. Netflix already had the show they were adapting in a visual medium. Netflix could have gone two ways with this: Shot-for-shot remake just with live action actors, or with an “inspired by” vibe that takes familiar characters, story beats, and themes but tries to make something new with their shameless cash grab.
So, they wanted to take a beloved children’s cartoon and make it gritty and realistic… okay. Sure. No one asked for that and it shouldn’t be embarrassing for any adult to sit down and *gasp* watch a cartoon. For kids.
The original remains amazing, top-tier storytelling, so instead of these reviews stating the obvious “original did X better, why didn’t they do it that way?” we’ll look at the show as if the original didn’t exist… unless it just goes the route of Disney and Amazon and slaps a famous IP on the title screen without making any attempt to stay true to the original just to get butts in seats.
—
We open 100 years ago in Caldera (renamed generic Capital City) with a pretty decent fight scene and special effects. The choreography is solid, the tone is way darker – and so is the lighting, I had to shut the blinds and turn my laptop brightness all the way up – and it establishes pretty quickly that this is Not Your Kids Cartoon Anymore, even if the fight is bloodless.
*Side note: That no one has a Japanese accent in the Fire Nation is… surprising? I know it’s not actual Japan, I know the original didn’t have any accents, but that they’re going for the whole “gritty realism” vibe and didn’t white-wash the cast, not giving them any accent feels like a bit of a missed opportunity. Just the adults, even. Iroh had an accent in the cartoon.
The costumes are also amazing. The original is still a feat of animation but being able to see all the ornate detail in the costumes, particularly in the Fire Nation, is fantastic. The Water Tribe costumes don’t feel quite so lived-in. The colors are still vibrant, there’s no stains, no wear. They don’t reflect the weariness of a remote village still suffering the effects of a hundred-year-long war. Zuko’s scar doesn’t feel quite as gnarly as it could be, more like a very bad bruise and not the remnants of a 3rd degree burn (but at least it’s not on the wrong side). He still has his entire eyebrow and full visibility.
Sozin is amazing, too. Right off the bat he’s shown as clever, cunning, and violent. The original was limited by Nickelodeon’s censorship, so even though it was a kids’ show and they did amazing still scaring kids without showing the violence (like a graphic depiction of Zuko getting his scar), these are firebenders, and fire burns.
… Though if you’re twelve and watching this expecting a fun adventure, watching a man get burned alive in the first 5 minutes wakes you up right quick. I heard a rumor that they wanted to fill the Game of Thrones vacuum and, yeah, they went for it.
Is there a reason they didn’t lift the original opening narration straight from the old script? It was fine! It’s iconic! This feels like a student cracked open a thesaurus for their essay just to sound smarter. Gran Gran gets to deliver it and that is an... interesting choice.
They did salvage some of the original music, and hearing Aang’s theme and the foreboding horns of the Fire Nation theme redone was ear candy, along with the Sun Warrior chant in the end credits. During Aang’s escape from Zuko’s ship, however, the score sounded uncannily like the battle music from The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.
*Side side note: One nitpick. One little nitpick, I think I’m allowed. Aang cannot fly without his staff. It’s a convenient and logical cap on his abilities and there was no reason to not keep it in.
On the one hand, opening the series with the Air Nomad genocide establishes immediately that the Fire Nation is led by an evil warmonger. On the other hand, slowly weaving in that exposition over the first few episodes, culminating with “The Storm” took what we thought was a lighthearted adventure and made it so much more. That reveal in “The Storm” still makes it one of the best episodes of the show.
Gyatso is perfect. The casting is perfect. “Gritty realism” or not, they did their homework on Gyatso. The only voice actor that left a hole not-quite filled is Iroh’s. He doesn’t quite sound like the wizened old sage, just… a guy. Through no fault of his actor’s, he’s solid, he’s just not quite Iroh.
—
While the worldbuilding is fine and all the extra additions in the beginning are entertaining… the original cartoon was limited to a cable-bound, 30-minute time slot, with commercials. They did their best to pack as much as they could within that time limit for every episode and you weren’t left wanting. It was also animated and every single frame cost money to draw. Creativity thrives in a box and not having endless Netflix money forced them to do the best with what they had.
With all this room and time to kill on Netflix it loses that tightly-woven polish. Scenes linger and add in dialogue that could have been concise and short. This show marinates, where the original was multitasking in every shot – developing the characters, the world, the story, the lore, the relationships.
In the time it took an entire animated episode, this show front-loaded all the exposition and mysteries to be slowly teased and solved through the first half of the season. We’re not left wondering how Aang survived the Air Nomad massacre. We’re not wondering why he wasn’t there, we’re not wondering who he is and slowly learning him with each episode. Curious now if the “The Storm” episode will even exist.
When Aang takes Sokka and Katara to the Southern Air Temple, neither know exactly what happened beyond that it was bad, and Aang has no clue his people have been destroyed, that it’s been 100 years. This time, the trio and the audience already have that information so the oomph of seeing the aftermath, of seeing Gyatso, doesn’t hit as hard as it should.
The themes, the personalities, the motivations of the characters so far still feel like them, even with all the extra fluff. Aang remains a reluctant chosen one, a twelve-year old with too much responsibility on his shoulders – even if he explicitly ran away after eavesdropping on Gyato’s conversation about sending him away and didn’t just happen to be gone while his home was destroyed.
Everyone except Iroh, which is a shame. He reads less as a “concerned surrogate father figure trying to raise an angsty, bratty, entitled teenager” and more “old man who’s too old for his nephew’s BS so he patronizes instead of showing any genuine support.”
About the only major element that didn’t get the love it deserves is the humor. Aang’s abrupt “will you go penguin sledding with me?” right after he wakes up is just one of many missing lines. Game of Thrones had plenty of funny characters, a show can be gritty *and* funny and he’s still twelve, he’s allowed to be a little cringey and ridiculous.
For a shameless cash grab remake that lost the original writers and took forever to finally air, this is a lot better than I expected it to be. The script isn’t perfect and there’s some lines that aren’t well-executed, but no actor phoned in their performance and visually it looks amazing. The writers did their homework and, so far, even if they refuse to make it a kids’ show, they’re still making Avatar: The Last Airbender.
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All You Touch and All You See, Is All Your Life Will Ever Be
Yelena Belove x reader (platonic or romantic, not specified)
Summary: Being freed from chemical subjugation with Yelena and on the run leads to the little memories granted as a widow being resurfaced
Note: this one is very personal to me. as some of you may know i've been struggling recently with memory loss and memory issues. music has helped me cope. and going back to music from my childhood has brought me comfort. i learned the lyrics to songs in my free time growing up, and i still remember them. singing to myself and listening to that music has been my comfort, it makes me feel in control knowing i still remember them. and i still remember a lot of memories associated with those songs. it's comforting knowing i still have some memories of my childhood, and if i keep these same songs maybe i can remember the present too. the song used ('brain damage') is from a band that i had grown up with thanks to my dad and brother. and even now, pink floyd brings me the most memories and comfort.
whoever catches all the references will get a smooch
.oOo.
As my head tilts back to rest on the car seat and we are finally met with a moment to rest, I am left to dwell on what has just happened. In the span of less than hour, we were freed from chemical subjugation, and on the run from Dreykov and his widows.
I'm not even sure where we are going, but I trust Yelena, who's behind the wheel of a stolen car. All that I do know is that we have far left any cities and people, the only thing being visible is vast darkness from the night sky and what seems like endless empty roads.
Neither of us have spoken more than the cautionary's or instructions to each other that were necessary while making our escape. Both of us just stuck processing everything in silence.
My brain is overwhelmed, while at the same time completely blank. It feels like I'm stuck in a trance. So much so, that I don't even notice the rustling noise of the center console or glove box being rummaged through, and the noises of the CD being inserted and the tracks being skipped.
But all it takes is 4 seconds of noise blaring through the car speakers to break me out. But it's different than just being snapped out of it. This was a physical reaction, as the beginning of the song made something click in my brain. My heart jerked and my eyes shot open.
A smile - albeit a somber and slightly confused one - forms slowly over the next 12 seconds as recognition floods my mind. My gaze turns to look at Yelena as my head is still rest back on the the seat. Yelena only smiles and turns it up louder. I close my eyes, still smiling, the only sound heard being the music that my brain automatically knows so well even if I consciously don't.
Though we didn't have much, and don't remember much from being under chemical subjugation, for me and Yelena music was one of the only things we did have. When we were out on missions we listened to it as much as we could, and we remembered. Music is powerful like that, it slots itself in your brain and memories even when you don't think there's any room for it.
We both quietly start singing, just like we always did when we could. After a minute or so, Yelena rolled the windows down. We were driving down completely empty roads, speeding so fast that the wind knocked me back at first when the window was down. She turned the sound up, blasting it over the sound of the harsh wind and air rushing by.
As the chorus comes up, we both look at each other, smiling with a look in our eyes that can't be explained but can be felt by the other. Before we knew it, we were yelling with the song- the type of yell where your voice is hoarse and your throat feels numb from the vibrations. Because we never got this freedom before, and being overcome with the emotions of having something we remember.
And if the dam breaks open many years too soon
And if there is no room upon the hill
And if your head explodes with dark forebodings too
I'll see you on the dark side of the moon
Making eye contact at the last line, both of us having wet eyes with tears dripping down our cheeks. The saying we always said to each other when we were ever separated. "I'll see you on the dark side of the moon."
Neither of us commented or really cared about the rapidly falling tears and even the occasional sobs coming from each other. We understood. We were free. And this is the moment that it sunk in. Neither of us had felt like this in years. We hadn't felt emotions this heavy, hadn't felt this free. We hadn't remembered this much. Now in the span of only an hour, we're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl. Running before time took our dreams away. And all we can do is cry as the emotions of that settle in.
We made it. And even if the darkness of our not so long ago pasts will always linger, and we might even be eclipsed by it- right now we have the present. And silently the both of us ingrained this memory in our heads. When you have nothing else to remember, you learn to associate. If this song is all we remember, then this memory is all we have along with that.
.oOo.
also just small infodump, and hopefully to give insight into the significance of the song ('brain damage' by pink floyd) for those who don't know. the reason the word 'lunatic' is used, is because people used to believe that mental illnesses could be caused by the moon. it comes from the word 'luna' meaning moon. the dark side of the moon (the album name as well), is a metaphor for darkness. "All that's to come and everything under the sun is in tune, but the sun is eclipsed by the moon." the sun represents that there are positive human experiences, there is enjoyment in life. but there will always be the dark side of the moon. and it's often inevitable, and depending what it represents to you, it is inevitable. i cant get more in depth bc when i tell you it will be long and this isn't even all of it like there's multiple other meanings and everything- but i just wanted to give insight into the significance of the song
#yelena belova x reader#black widow x reader#marvel x reader#yelena belova imagine#marvel imagine#black widow imagine#avengers x reader#avengers imagine#marvel fanfic#yelena x platonic!reader#songfic#is this a songfic???
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please tell me about sci fi media you like :3c
Prey (2017) is probably my favorite Sci-fi game of all time, and it's somewhere around my top 10 or 20 overall games, too. Waking up on a space station where something has gone wrong with no memory of events leading up to that moment, you're let loose in one big interconnected facility to piece together what went wrong, and if there's anything that can be done to stop things from getting even worse. It's got tense atmosphere that sometimes borders on horror, with enemies that make it difficult to even trust the objects around you. There's a lot of exploration of how memory and identity intertwine, morality and empathy, and what it really means to be human. I'm always a sucker for stories that grapple with philosophical issues, especially when they ask you, the player, to make decisions that don't necessarily have a right or wrong answer -- asking you to interrogate your own beliefs to come up with something that YOU think is right. That's all wrapped up in Arkane's signature style of immersive sim, where you get the freedom of choice that the genre is known for but streamlined in a way that makes it feel so accessible and natural in comparison to the forerunners of the genre. Top that all off with a soundtrack by Mick Gordon, one of my favorite game composers of all time, who brings an electronic soundtrack that is often foreboding and laded with dread, but also manages to capture the wonder of what this place you're in once was. It's often overshadowed by Arkane's other games, Dishonored and Deathloop -- which are good in their own right -- but I really do think it might be the best game they've ever made. It's a game I really think that just about everyone should play, it's that good.
I was planning to talk about other games, but that got kinda long so I'll lightning round them:
Unsighted is an adventure/exploration game that's akin to a more movement focused 2D Zelda, where you play as an android in a world where the substance that keeps synthetic life sane has become scarce after the source of it was sealed off, leaving the city to fall to ruins. You and every other character in the game are on a clock that's constantly ticking down until you go "Unsighted", but by finding resources you can extend the time any android has left -- do you hoard everything for yourself? Do you give only to the people who are useful enough that you need to keep them around? Or do you try to do the impossible and save everyone, even though you'll no doubt stretch yourself thin? The timed element can be turned off if you really can't stomach the pressure, but I think the tension it adds to the experience is something so special that you'd be doing yourself a disservice unless it really would make it unplayable for you.
2064: Read Only Memories is a cyberpunk point-and-click mystery about what it would mean for machines to pass the horizon of sentience. You play as a journalist who finds a robot at their door, sent by an old friend of theirs for safe-keeping. That sets off a chain of events that will see you unraveling the mystery of what happened to your friend, discovering this robot seems to be something more than a mere machine, and ultimately determining what the future will look like by the decisions that you make. Great music, good characters with engaging designs, a style that evokes retro adventure games but brought into the modern era, and a web of intrigue to untangle.
Hopefully at least one of these sparks your interest enough to check it out!
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I just had the most terrifying dream sequence ever and I’m posting my frantic journaled memories of it that I just wrote. So many details that escaped too fast but it was so scary and so real-feeling
Eagles everywhere
Thing-like infectious presence but it was supernatural
Old derelict house
Girl in the dream with lots of charm
Lived in the old house and had everything padlocked, it kept “baddies” out
She was beautiful, but had decayed and missing teeth
We’re dating and I’m almost hypnotically smitten by her and at this point most everything about her seems normal, just irresistible. But a good being who is clearly scared of something. Her name is Chell. She goes to a party and returns, tells me she had sex w someone. She’s immediately candid about it and kind too but totally remorseless/guiltless
It upset me but I don’t freak out and I’m not mad or even really sad, just feeling weird
We try to talk about it but my mom is present like way down a hall thaf felt almost like a bleacher
Mom sent me weird text messages (Beatles and rhyming, cryptic but creepily playful don’t let them in type stuff, etc)
Suddenly mom is leaving. She talks to the girl and l on her way out like she knows Chell and asks if she liked the gift she got Chell (glass figurine of a turtle)
Asks if it’s gonna be one of those things she gives away and Chell candidly tells her probably
Eventually mom leaves
Chell ponders having sex with me (as if it doesn’t matter if I want to or not, like I’m going to be seduced regardless) and we’re embracing but I break free and tell her I’m leaving
I’m suddenly outside the house in front where there are two gate like doors with metal latch locks applied to them by chell
I pull out the locks and they just both kinda slide out from their wooden posts with not much resistance
Chell immediately walks out the house frantically approaching me freaking out and I’m demanding to know why they need to be there
Immediately an old woman next door appears and is really creepy
And a young boy up the road is running toward a woman
He kills her
He and the woman both quickly approach us attacking
Glimpses of their eyes and they’re white and empty but malevolent
We’re running into the house and an eagle is perched, huge and foreboding
Time jumps and Chell is gone and friends have come
I’m holding something when I’m in the house and one of the beings is in there too attacking me
One side of whatever im holding does nothing but I flip it over and it damages the being so I run, I get free but an eagle is perched in front of me and forces me to redirect and return
Then friends and I are hanging out in the house and we’re trying to figure out who is possessed almost like The Thing. But some of us are keen to what’s happening and some arent
Tommy starts playing aphex twin
We think we know who it is because someone starts dancing really strangely (the old woman did that the first time I saw her before she approached) so we attack them
Chaos ensues until tommy peers into some small figurine and eyes an old yellowed 40s style picture of a woman with tight curls of the eras style
Immediately becomes possessed almost like being infected by a memory that wasn’t his
Dances very strangely and begins attacking
I am trying to escape and running inside and outside the grounds of the house
The house is kinda like the old Victorian mansions in downtown hattiesburg but more derelict and less pristine
Each time I think I’ve gotten away I’m running into what feels like open space and I see one of the huge foreboding eagles so I turn paths and then it begins flying (shepherding me back? Trying to get me? Either way they’re very powerful forces and I cannot cross their path like my body and the space around me wouldn’t let me)
Finally dark slow loud industrial techno music is playing, carnage and chaos is everywhere
I run and run and see another eagle that redirects me
Then another
And another
And another
Until suddenly I have nowhere to turn and I’m surrounded by a dozen of the evil eagles
I wake up
#nightmare#eagles#possessed#horror#dream#dream journal#supernatural#demons#possession#malevolent#scarycore#siren#surreal#surrealism#aphex twin#victorian
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fic OST | circulus vitiosus (salva mea)
blurb | bc it’s me ofc there’s a fic OST to be had! posting this in the wake of publishing part 1, despite having 2 more parts to both write & post. well. anyway: hereby the music which serves as the inspirational foundation for circulus vitiosus (salva mea), or as it’s colloquially called: time loop!fic. may contain vague, conceptual spoilers for what’s to come in parts 2 and 3 (though not that much bc everything herein is pretty consistently dark & foreboding, lol)
what | 30 tracks which may or may not be arranged according to in-fic events & which fail to stick any sort of genre-bound landing, feat everything from broken beat avant garde electronica → triphop → psychedelic rock → classic r&b, plus some delicious instrumental electric guitar bits
playlist → spotify
tracklist | under cut
01 | VTSS — why we don’t deserve nice things
instr
02 | tzusing — 戴綠帽 (wear green hat)
instr
03 | aphex twin — formula
instr
04 | the dead weather — will there be enough water?
will there be enough water when my ship comes in?
water when my ship comes in?
will there be water when my ship comes in?
05 | gustavo santaolalla — the hunters
instr
06 | wax tailor — ungodly fruit
perhaps those who may be among us for the first time
may be wondering what is going to happen now
07 | djuma soundsystem — les djinns (trentemøller remix)
instr
08 | DJ shadow — what does your soul look like, pt. 2
in a few moments you will have an experience
which will seem completely real
it will be the result of your subconscious fears
transformed to your conscious awareness
you have five seconds to terminate this tape
five, four, three, two, one
09 | nicolas jaar — john the revelator
now who art worthy, crucified and holy
bound up for some, son of our god
daughter of zion, judea’s lion
10 | ethel cain — two-headed mother
I’ve loved before, I’ll kill again
you’re just the worst of all my men
I’m not gonna pull you out the den
11 | regis — broken on the wheel
instr
12 | restive plaggona — lonely people after midnight
instr
13 | shudan — jiangshi
instr
14 | teeth of the sea — field punishment
instr
15 | parrish smith — fader
instr
16 | thom yorke — harrowdown hill
did I fall or was I pushed? did I fall or was I pushed?
and where’s the blood? and where’s the blood?
17 | TENDER — machine
you cut me open, and pull me apart
a hollow chest instead of a heart
control, control me
you do what you want with me, baby
till I am spent, I’m so content
18 | BANKS — 27 hours
it’s been twenty seven hours
since we even saw the sun
19 | deaf bones — only lovers left alive
instr
20 | parrish smith — sex, suicide & speed metal
instr
21 | low — poor sucker
some poor sucker at the bottom of the lake
took the wrong way up when the ground began to break
it’s a long way back
that’s the price you gotta pay
22 | sade — long hard road
there’s a long hard road ahead
but a voice inside me said
said there’s something that you need to know
it’s gonna to be alright
23 | massive attack, tricky & 3D — take it there
we’ll take it there, but take your time
we’ll take it there, you’ll lose your mind
24 | plaid & björk — lilith
the moon
it guides me on baby
there’s absolutely no doubt
25 | sneaker pimps — lightning field
hope’s the child of what luck brings
points to faith in higher things
ask me now
fire at everything at once
strike me down
26 | mew — one flew over, one was destroyed
do you remember what made you fall?
and does it matter to you at all?
27 | amor satyr — que dançar?
instr
28 | manni dee & akiko haruna — frowzy
a couple hours means nothing in the dark
in the end the choice was never ours
29 | faithless, rollo armstrong & sister bliss — salva mea
I wanna take a look at the world behind these eyes
every nook, every cranny reorganize
realize my face don't fit the way I feel
what's real?
30 | hozier — first light
the sky set to burst
the gold and the rust
the colour erupts
you filling my cup
the sun coming up
#work: fic#fic: cv/sm#work: music#fic extras#jjk#fandom: jujutsu kaisen#cv/sm extras#goyuu#I'm back on my bullshit take 34#u may not want this but u will get it anyway
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talk to me
what?? two fics in two days??? shocking! anyway, enjoy!!
pairing: Boromir x fem!reader
warnings: mentions of verbal abuse
A/N: ASKJDSG I’M SO SORRY THIS IS LATE @scyllas-revenge I FEEL AWFUL! anyway side note, reader is roughly his age but much shorter than him (I picture her as like 5′4-ish versus however tall he is, 6′something I think?), she isn’t like a kid/teen or anything! just smol bc height differences >>>>
taglist: @blueberryrock, @scyllas-revenge, @zalie, @to-be-frank-i-dont-care, @justmemyselfandthefridge, @heckin-music-dork, @frodo-with-glasses!
Y/N wiped at her ever-blurring eyes as the icy cold water of the river pulled at her from all different directions, nearly causing her to stumble. She was making her way to her sacred place, a fallen tree on the edge of the river. To others, it seemed like a disaster waiting to happen, its limbs and leaves being tugged at by the rapids like a child at his mother’s skirts. The foliage around it was almost entirely made of brambles and leaves of other trees; a few Sweet Williams blooming from a gaping hole in one of the limbs. Their intoxicating scent had tempted many a fool, causing more than a few injuries in their pursuit.
The tree itself was only half the danger. To cross the river, one had to traverse the rapids in the center that could easily lead to drowning, avoid slippery, moss-covered stones hidden in the shadow-covered water, and carefully cross the roots jutting out from the stubborn old tree. Algae and water-moss flowed around its base, barely exposing a small root just sturdy enough to use as a foothold. An identical vine lured in brave victims; at first glance, it seemed more stable than the waterlogged root, but would hold no foreign weight. A second root jutted out just above the first, perched diagonally; another perfect foothold. Finally, the trunk: several feet off the ground, slick with moss and covered in brambles. The leaves from its fallen limbs and other plants covered a very small yet comfortable hiding place, the perfect spot for staying out of sight. Wildflowers framed the inside, growing between cracks in the wood, making the space seem more hospitable, if not oddly comforting.
To Y/N, their subtle, sweet scent and foreboding outward appearance of the tree comforted her, something she desperately needed after a particularly harsh scolding. After an hour of overly harsh words followed by a look of pure disgust aimed directly at her, she was exhausted. Her eyes were streaming, hot tears stinging her face as she expertly avoided the nearly-invisible traps before her. Reaching the trunk, she pulled herself into the saddle-like, cradling arch behind the foliage, leaning against it hard for support. She was finally alone, finally able to remove her mask. She pushed her face into her hands and screamed, sobbing harder than she ever had. Outside of the fight, her dearest friend, Boromir, was leaving Gondor on a journey. She had no idea what it was, or when he’d be back, but she knew from his tone when he’d told her that he may never come back. Her barely-muffled cries echoed down the river, undoubtedly alarming more than a few creatures.
She had only been alone for a few precious moments before hearing loud, fumbling footsteps from the other side of the river. Y/N rolled her eyes, her grief and pain turning to annoyance. Peace and privacy were rare gifts in the bustling city she called home, especially thanks to her ever-prying family. A quiet, soothing hum came from whoever hovered outside, a familiar tune from her childhood taught to her by a friend. Boromir.
His boots sloshed and she could hear him stumble over the stones as he made his way towards her. She held her breath. Not even he could soothe her pain now, though he would inevitably try, bless him. Silence. Her heart pounding in her ears, begging for air. The sounds of the rapids dancing around heavy boots. The fabric of her sleeve rustling as she wiped at her eyes. Finally, more splashing and the scent of ale and fresh air, a clear sign it was him. A large, gloved hand pulled back the mess of tangled vines and leaves, revealing the familiar face of her dearest -- and only -- friend. He beamed at her, truly happy to see her. He quickly noticed her red, glassy, swollen eyes and tear-stained cheeks. His face fell, causing her to cry even more.
“Oh! Hey, hey! It’s alright, dear one. What happened?”
As she explained through hard, heavy sobs, Boromir struggled to climb up onto the limb in an attempt to sit next to her. Too tall for the small hollow, he bumped his head against another limb. As he reacted, his shoulder-length hair got caught on the brambles. Despite herself, Y/N laughed. He chuckled too, glad to see her smiling, albeit at his expense. “I don’t know how you can fit in here without destroying the place. I’m not that much taller than you.”
“It’s a matter of grace I suppose,” she grinned, her face slowly falling back to her previous sullen expression. Boromir shifted closer to her, practically folding himself in half in the process. After several minutes of comedic fumbling, he leaned his back against the trunk and wrapped his arm around her. She moved closer, glad for the warmth and gentle affection. Leaning her head on his collarbone, she sighed. “I don’t want you to go.” Her voice was small, she herself barely hearing her near-silent whisper.
Boromir frowned and leaned his head against hers. “I know. I don’t either. My father--”
Y/N huffed. “I know. I’m sorry, but I’m sick of him. He mistreats you. We should just…leave. Escape from it all. Do you think…do you think I could come with you? I’d stay out of trouble, I promise. I’ll fight if I have to, you know I’m good! Better than you, anyway,” she joked. “Think about it -- we could leave together. No one would care. My family wouldn’t notice, and even if they did they’d probably be glad to be rid of me.”
Silence. Boromir’s heart beating. Her mind racing. Brief flashes of hope. Anxiety. Love.
“It’ll be dangerous.”
“I don’t care. I want to be there with you. I can help.”
Boromir smiled, his cheeks smushed against the top of her head. “I’ve always admired your courage. I know not what will come, but you will no doubt be of great help. I’ll protect you. No matter the cost.”
“We’ll protect each other.”
Y/N smiled up at him and gave him a quick kiss. Boromir embraced her, holding her tight. They would never be apart again.
#ayyyy two fics in two days!!#lotr#lotr fanfic#boromir lives au#boromir x fem!reader#boromir#roguespeaks#rogue's fics#rogue's masterlist#rogue's requested fics#< kinda??
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SD: Sympathy for the Devil- 2018 Winter Olympics, Pyeongchang South Korea
This is probably my all time favourite VM program. As I discovered more of them there are others challenging for the top spot but this is the one I always want to watch and is the one I attach my first impressions of them to- there is always something with this program that I’m watching them like its the first time.
I’ve already raved about the costumes multiple times so lets just get straight into it.
1. The Opening (pose)
Once again we are talking about first impressions here. The first impression of VIRTUEMOIR. And what an introduction it is. I mean holy shit.. they just exude confidence. They really entered that arena and skated onto that ice like they owned it. Like instead of the olympics logo on the ice it should’ve just said ‘property of VM inc’. That soft breathe T takes as she passes the judges, them getting to make eye contact one last time before both turning to face the front. Scott telling her “lets go”. And not in a loud, excited, amped up way. Very calm but full of confidence and, yes now looking at it after knowing so much, a bit of foreboding, like, “alright T, last SD, lets show what we’ve got”. Also his clap and rolling his hands together, ughhhhh I melted… like thats just something you would not have seen him do ever before this season, maybe before this very performance, yet it doesn’t feel unnatural at all. It exudes confidence, he’s so ready to go. It just sets such a tone right away and tells you you really have no choice but to watch them. Taking their time to get to the still starting pose. The sass in their shoulders, the matching pointed toes, how their exact positions are different but complement each other PERFECTLY! Just everything about it I love it all!! Then the one shot on QUEEN T… I think this may have been where I stopped breathing. There is something about that shot of her every time I watch it where I feel like I don’t know her (i don’t- not personally, but given I blog about them everyday I feel like I have a familiarity with them now) something about it still feels like that first time where I thought ‘omg she is so stunning’- not just her physical beauty, but again, her confidence (which I’ll talk about eventually was such an important thing that she be able to have). Maybe it’s that she doesn’t often on or off ice wear make up that heavy, but I loved it and I just felt like I was looking at this real life wonder woman. She was so intimidating (in the best way possible) and just this huge energy which at the same time was so settled and contained. They haven’t even started dancing yet and I’m already shouting about how freaking empowering it was to see a woman in the most nerve racking moment of her life look that unstoppable.
Ok, sorry. This post is meant to be about breaking down the program.. lets do that now and keep the gushing to a minimum. 🤫
2. The Opening (movement)
I can’t stress enough how hard I immediately fell in love with them when I heard that first ‘OWW’. This is one of my fave songs ever and really with the costumes being the first impression and being so different to typical latin (esp ice dance) costumes, not that I thought about it but once the music started it made so much sense that THAT was the song.
On that first ‘OWW’ as T does her point and (idk what to call it so I’m just gonna say) ‘seduction moment’ and she kinda spins a bit on her blade. That had never happened before (in a performance at least) so I wonder if that was maybe one of her little micro bobbles that only she felt. It doesn’t at all look like she was off balance or it wasn’t meant to happen, in fact it looks AMAZING like this because it stretched out that moment and made it so indulgent, and especially when it’s slowed down it’s just freaking magic.
Kurt Browning said in his commentary that Scott looked like an animal who hadn’t eaten in a month when he started and the way he looked at T. That is such a hard quality to pull of well- not have it be over the top or cringy. I always come back to with this dance that they managed to balance being extremely into each other as well as into themselves- acknowledge their own attractiveness and sexuality and play off that together. [The ‘being into yourself’ bit is not to be pompous or arrogant- it about abandoning any fear of judgement and not letting any insecurities show]. That’s what I feel as though specifically Scott’s ‘animal’ vibes are. Wanting to devour her and know she’s gonna want to be devoured by him. All that already portrayed in maybe.. 2 seconds…. 2 seconds into their program and you’re already getting that sense of performance and story from them.
I love that their latin movement compared to a lot of other teams was so much more, relaxed, as well as really dancey and not out of the ‘latin for dummies’ book. It looks so fun, like they are dancing in a latin bar. The latin movement fits so naturally in their bodies (and if it didn’t fit naturally they make it look as though it did). T’s hips are fantastic. She’s not over the top with it which again makes it feel more natural. Blending it with this more casual ‘rock’ music vibes as well helped in it not looking like a typical impersonation of Latin dancing- it was entirely their own thing.
3. THE SAMBA ROLLS
THE MOMENT I WAS SNATCHED.. by that I mean that if I wasn’t already hooked by the costumes and their confidence and their beautiful faces and the MUSIC then this is where I was like oh damn! This was really my first experience watching ice dance with the understanding that it is different than pairs.. my closest understanding of it was ballroom tangos and waltzs. I’m not a trained latin dancer but I know enough about it to differentiate the styles and samba rolls are an iconic movement in samba dancing. When it’s done really well its like the man is stirring the woman. I’ve seen it done where the woman is bending almost equally to all front, back and sides, which also means the man has to be quite flexible for her the bend forward over him as he bends back. TS do this movement incredibly well. They are doing it faster then I’ve mostly seen it done and obviously their footwork is different because they are skating- they have a wider lunge position where as on the floor you would be taking more smaller steps. SO, to see a literal DANCE movement in a skating program done so well and so appropriately as to recognise this as a ‘samba’ dance, not just samba rhythm music (which I feel is what most other teams were doing) which up until now I had admittedly a naive understanding of skaters’ range of dance ability (which I still to this day maintain they are the ball around dancers without a doubt).
The movement after this is fantastic and all still in maybe the first 10/15 seconds of the program is setting the tone as this fun, dancey good time still with all the technical superiority. I almost feel like in that moment just after the samba rolls where he spins her under his arm and they have a little face to face moment, he asked her is she was all good with that little uncharacteristic slide/spin on her very first movement. I obviously have no way to know but in this interview she mentioned in the very beginning of both programs they had some tiny little glitches that only the two of them would’ve felt. Idk, its not a big deal either way but its nice to think about. It looks like they were saying something but it could’ve just been one of their scheduled key words.
4. Non-touch midline step sequence
(Bloody hell that’s a mouthful)
So this sequence mostly stayed the same throughout the season. There were actually some fun moments in the very first version at ACI, but my fave specific version was definitely SCI. It’s almost identical but there are some upper body movements that I love in this earlier version. There just seemed to be more musical detail. For example the little shoulder moment right after they round the corner. Also even though he ‘messed it up’ I like Scott’s ‘centre stage’ moment at SCI (with the ‘eyebrows’ ☺️). Other then that really there’s not much difference (I do not know how to differentiate the skating steps all I care about is the edge quality and the musicality. Their NTMLSS are in general phenomenal and beyond just their amazing skating technique which I just have to take everyone’s word for since I’m not qualified to determine that for fact (but it’s obvious) but one of the things I can identify as part of their excellence is the way they use their upper bodies. This is of course partly them having good choreography but the thing about good chore is it needs to have good dancers doing to make it appear good. I don’t like to call out specific teams on here to compare TS to, but with something like this it’s more a general thing with lots of teams. It’s what I call ‘YMCA’ skating.. where you get all the edges and turns on the music, but quite simple and stiff upper body movements. I will link the full 2018 SD event here so if you have a spare couple hours you can watch for yourself. But anyway, what I find with these types of movements is you start to see the skaters who aren’t actually “dancing” on ice.. The movement becomes broken down into lower body and upper body, with some separation in style and rhythm between the two. It doesn’t look fully coordinated, or the movement is very simple to allow for the skaters to be coordinated. I noticed this a lot both in this seasons (17/18 latin) and the season before (16/17 hip hop/blues) so you can also watch the worlds SD event to see the same thing in some teams. In BOTH TS movement you can see their shoulders move, their hips move, their body rolls. Just look where they both stop in the centre- how far Scott bends back- in a side view photo he’s bending almost 90 degrees back (that’s an exaggeration but it’s really fkn far!) It’s also in their characters- they don’t drop the spirit of the dance just because they are skating difficult steps individually. To summaries they are, you guessed it .. DANCING.. which considering the sport is called ice dance, that’s what I want to see, not skating sections and ‘dancing’ sections.
5. The musical transition
To be perfectly honest.. the very first time I was kinda bummed when the music started to fade out of SFTD.. I was just kinda like ‘oh what that’s all we got of that’. BUT that was literally only for the first time I watched it because watching it a second time knowing to was coming.. it’s is such a fantastic musical transition. I kinda hate how in ice dance they often have to have ‘medleys’. Simply because of the requirements specifically in the SD/RD that has to be at least two “distinct” musical styles. I think I maybe remember reading at one point that in the rules for, I think this season but it may have been the season before.. that the NTMLSS had to be skated on a different rhythm to the set patter, so in this case rhumba. So inevitably unless you find the perfect music that has both the rhythm being used for the compulsory rhumba pattern (coz most teams did not you what I would describe as ‘rhumba’ music) and another of the optional rhythms, at least 2 pieces of music would have to be used. If there aren’t good musical transitions and good choreography to fit those changes, I really tend to hate the medley format. This musical change from SFTD to HC was ✨INSPIRED✨. The way the ‘OWW’s continue but gradually stretch out from 4 counts apart to 8 counts- the first of the last ‘OWWs’ where HC comes in and they hit that layback position 🫠 the sustain that glide itnto the corner. That last one being on the leg flick in the compulsory pattern. It was a tonal shift that along with the layout of the choreography fit so perfectly in creating the whole vibe of the program: This fun and dancey, but also hot and intimate smoothness- rhumba not being on upbeat music, gradually transitioning out of the iconic SFTD lyrics and samba beat.. it was just beautiful..
I’ve already talked extensively about the rhumba pattern so I’m gonna skip that in this post
6. Choreographic moments between the rhumba and the circular step sequence in hold
Ok here we go, everyone’s favourite moment (although there didn’t appear to be a kiss this time ☹️). I reblogged this moment (from the TE) a long time ago when I first started posting on here that I had a very different take on this moment. Basically the gist of it was that I didn’t see it as purely this, hot, intimate, romantic, confirmation they are fucking moment. Yes it is incredibly hot and intimate and made my heart skip a beat, once again, that it’s their job to make you believe that but should be respected when they say that what most assume is not the case off ice (wonder if I’ll ever be able to stop saying that 🙄). But I personally found this to be more of a moment for them where they aren’t executing an element or any particularly difficult/complicated skating steps, to just take a moment to pause, get very close and just check in with each other. It doesn’t last particularly long but in a fast moving program, even a brief moment where they can just come back to their eyes and remind each other they are doing really well and just keep to breathing and stay focused. It can 100% be both that and this hot and indulgent moment at the same time. They can disguise it being a special moment for them in something that serves the character of the program. Also from a choreographic perspective it creates this light and shade in the program. The more complicated it is generally means there is more movement and more steps in it and with skating how it is that they are essentially always travelling and if not then standing on the spot, this acts as a nice highlight moment that also offers some calmness amidst all the intricate, technical skating.
All the lovely intertwining steps following this moment are fantastic as well (hard to see from this angle). That moment where they do stop and do their little latin swaying movement together was great and the best that moment ever looked because a few times earlier on it looked a little uncoordinated.. being much closer and making it more about their bodies then their arms waving I think is what makes this moment much smoother. After this is when I really start to love the partnering because it starts with Scott just manipulating her by holding her waist and it’s like T is rolling around him so effortlessly. Kind like he is playing with water and it just flows through his fingers and flows over each surface. T truly has the most beautiful movement quality. She hardly ever hits a bad position and the way she just fits so naturally in just about every style of movement is just magical. That is so hard. The fact that she started as a ballet dancer and took it very seriously as a young child had clearly stayed with her in the way she caries herself and used that strong core foundation to then add layers of different dance styles. This, then the fact that Scott without that strict foundation ballet training that T had can match her so beautifully while maintaining his own distinct quality of movement is just what makes them the most pleasant team to watch. Nothing feels fake or forced.
7. Some highlight moments in the circular step sequence in hold
So the key requirements for this type of step sequence (*that I know of), (the other being the NTMLSS) is this one has to be fully completed touching the whole time- including in twizzles. It must start in foxtrot hold and finish with a ‘spin/skid stop’ to indicate the end of the sequence. What I like about this step sequence is the flow in and out of traditional holds and more modern ‘open’ holds. It’s again the fluidity of their movement which especially for a rhumba is an ideal quality. In this program they do 3 really distinct Latin styles (cha cha at the end there is only as small sampling with both the twizzles and lift in that section). They dance all these styles distinctly and with the appropriate carriage, energy and expression unique to each one, but have a fluid character storyline running through the whole program which doesn’t make it feel choppy.
I love this first moment in killian hold where they stay on that one LFI turned out edge and in unison passing their free leg from to back with that beautiful epaulement and head line on that high note in the music. That followed by that lovely arch back T has. Again, so indulgent- I’m using that word a lot for this program even though there isn’t really many moments they get to indulge for too long in. Somehow though they are able to create this light and shade through fast moving movement to create moments to feel indulgence and pleasure.
Then of course another fave moment, the ‘which part of T’s arm shall I bite moment’.. aka the ‘Nivea lotion’ moment (- for those who don’t know T posted a pic of this very moment from the team event where S was very close to her bare arm and captioned it ‘when that @ Nivea lotion just smells so good’.. our one and only QUEEN being sassy, flirty, and savage all at the same time 👑) this once again very intentionally but not at all apologetically or designed to stir shit up, is another example of their maturity and new found comfort in their artistry together to express very sensual themes and carry them off so naturally. It’s in the middle of a ‘required element’ where they have to remain in contact and hit all their edges and turns, yet come up with very creative choreography to portray their theme and energy and carry that throughout the dance. It’s like what I was saying earlier about the split you get in weaker teams of the ‘dancing’ and the ‘skating’ moments. With TS it’s this seamless blend of both athletic art forms.
8. Twizzles
It’s really what happens right before these twizzles that I love so much. So once again we get a great musical transition from HC to Oy Como Va. this one more abrupt but the way it goes straight into the guitar solo and really says ‘here we go, home stretch’ like the final song of the encore at a great rock concert. The movement I really love on the build up in the music before the guitar solo starts, is they are in kinda a hand to hand hold, then Scott has his right hand on her back, he kinda delays it there and they look to each other for as long as possible before taking literally one step and then flying into the catch-foot twizzles. I love that kinda delayed contact with his hand on her back, idk it kinda makes me think of it like they’re playing tag or something, or like, ‘ready, set go! I’m gonna race ya!’ There’s something about that and the way I think of it that makes it seem really fun and without actually racing each other- like getting out of sync or off the music, is kinda a great energy to take into those very fast twizzles and the rest of the program as a whole. I also really love what they do with their hands/arms between each of the twizzles- the first one that outstretched arm and jazz hand going into the LBO twizzle, then bringing the arms down again with jazz hands before the last set.
9. I just really love this moment
Ok this is just straight up fun from here on out. I love that moment perfectly on the guitar flick where she pushes off his chest and throws her hands up into that twizzle, then by holding her round the waist he swings her round and that fabulous sweeping edge change.
10. Lift + Ending
Ok here’s where I’m gonna really expose my ‘first timer ice dance viewer ignorance’. At the time I did not know that ice dancers we’re not allowed to do over-head lifts.. VM did this lift-one of their signature lifts for that matter and I thought.. “huh.. that seems a bit simple..”
Now let me explain this. I did not think this lift was easy or simple, it was certainly spectacular- the speed at which they rotated, the one hand in the middle, the smoothness of it, oh yeh and they are on fucking ICE.. what I mean by my initial reaction is a) I was not aware about the no over head lifts thing- I just expected on of those one arm pairs press lifts or something. And b) this is a classic ballroom/Latin style lift I had seen professional Latin dancers do not even to this quality. It looked like a dance lift to me- I just wasn’t expecting that from skaters. It is of course such a great way to finish and in this same event seeing other lower ranked teams attempt this lift then seeing VM do it is really impressive and once again from a comparison pov puts them way ahead of everyone else.
The ending is just so happy. Almost immediately after the music stops they drop the hot, sexy Latin vibes and just become incredibly precious and squishy with their overwhelming joy and pride in each other that they had danced so well. That’s the other thing about them that as amazing as they are and what great actors/performers they are, they’re incredibly genuine and can’t hide their excitement (and for that matter disappointment in those instances) they always remain incredibly professional but to see their personalities shine, especially when this is the first impression of them-it just makes them instantly loveable.
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Against All Odds
Part 87
McCoy
Scotty’s reply to his message did not put McCoy anymore at ease. His stomach twisted and he barely heard what the teacher was talking about. He was still lucky he was further ahead in the class than the others.
Lunch came and Jim’s chair was still empty. Scotty gave him a weak smile up the table, but somehow it made McCoy’s stomach twist again and he lost his appetite.
It was after lunch Scotty sent him another message and panic ran through McCoy.
*We need to talk…*
McCoy’s blood ran cold, the words repeating in his mind. Now he really couldn’t focus in class. Were they over? They’d barely begun. Had Archer figured it out and really threatened Scotty with kicking him out of the school? Could Scotty really not stand Christine being their cover?
*We need to talk…*
Why did those four words hold so much foreboding?
The time between classes and dinner moved glacially. McCoy nearly forgot about swim practice. The water didn’t hold the same appeal today as it had the day before. And Jim was still missing. McCoy was so lost in his own worries he didn’t hear the murmurings of the other team members about Jim.
He was feeling a grudge at Archer as well. What had he taken Scotty away for that morning? But the man was still referring to him as ‘Mr. McCoy,’ the way he treated the other students, so…
Dinner came and Scotty wouldn’t look over at him. McCoy tried to catch his eye. Every bite was dry as dust in McCoy’s mouth. When the meal was over he left as quickly as he could for the library.
Oh. McCoy stopped in his tracks. There were other students entering behind him. They wouldn’t be alone. Every other time they had met in the library it had been later in the evening, closer to curfew. What would they do now? There had to be somewhere else. Where?
McCoy turned to leave and nearly ran into Scotty. He shook his head.
“Students,” he whispered.
Scotty swore. “Music room,” he whispered back, and walked away.
McCoy took a breath and moved down towards the short cross hallway where he and Scotty had first really talked while looking at the old class photos. He looked again at the photo of his father and Pike. He felt a longing for home. Home never had these complications.
McCoy left the hallway and made for the music room. He found his steps slowing as he got closer. What was Scotty going to tell him? What did they need to talk about? The door was unlocked when he reached it and he locked it again once he was inside. He let his eyes adjust to the dark a moment and finally saw Scotty in the darkest corner.
Scotty wrapped his arms around him tight, then pulled back for a kiss. McCoy had a moment of relief from his worry. It came back full force as they sat down.
“What’s wrong?” McCoy asked shakily. “What do we need to talk about?”
“Khan knows I was at the cabin. And he’s going to find out who I was with.”
Relief flooded McCoy. Scotty wasn’t trying to leave him or being forced to stay away again. He sagged against the wall next to them. He shot upright as the words sunk in.
“What? How?” McCoy’s heart began to pound.
Scotty began to pour out the whole story. The baggie in Jim’s room. Pike and Archer. Khan and the secret spot at the cabin.
“I… I confronted him. He’s going to find out. I’m so sorry Leonard. Your… your family… I don’t want ye to be caught in a scandal because of me.”
Scotty’s eyes began to glisten with unshed tears. McCoy reached to pull him close.
“We’ll figure this out. I promise. We’ll… I don’t know. We’ll talk to Leah and see what she thinks will happen. She’ll tell us true.” He squeezed Scotty closer. “I… I… there’s something here Scotty. Between us and I don’t want to lose it.”
Part 88
Scotty
He had been so worried about Leonard’s reaction. What if the boy would leave him? What if Scotty had destroyed everything by confronting Khan? But… this was about Jim. His friend! He had to help him.
He was so grateful when Leonard pulled him closer and tried to comfort him.
“There’s something here Scotty. Between us and I don’t want to lose it.”
So Leonard was actually feeling the same about this. He too knew that there was something happening between them. Something they wanted to protect.
“Me neither. I… are ye sure we can talk to the princess about this? I mean… what will she think?”
He wasn’t too sure about asking Princess Leah for help. He didn’t know her. But… if she was anything like Leonard, he knew that he could trust her.
“Leah is a great person. She’s always there for me. And she’ll be again on this. And… we don’t need to tell her the whole truth if that bothers you.”
An unshed tear fell from Scotty’s eye onto Leonard’s sleeve and a moment later both arms were wrapped around him.
“This is all so complicated. I… I just want to be with ye. I… I don’t want us liking each other be something one can blackmail us with.”
He sobbed into Leonard’s chest. The hormones. It had to be the hormones. Why else would he cry in front of another boy that wasn’t his brother?
“Shh, it’s okay. We’re gonna be fine.”
Leonard slowly let go to cup the Scotsman’s face in his hands. He used his thumbs to wipe away the tears.
“It’s gonna work Scotty.”
Scotty nodded slowly before Leonard kissed him. The movement wasn’t as passionately as it had been the times they had kissed before. It was… soft, gentle and comforting.
Yes… it would work. They would work.
“I’m gonna write Leah tonight and ask if she’ll have time for a call soon. Are you okay with that?”
“Aye…” Scotty wiped away the rest of his tears before he leaned into the prince.
‘I love ye.’
The words were lingering in his mouth but he didn’t dare to say them out loud. He couldn’t love Leonard. They only knew each other for two weeks. It wasn’t enough time to love someone, was it? No… he liked Leonard. And he wanted to get to know him better. And he wanted… to try out things with him. But it wasn’t love, right?
He didn’t say anything. They just enjoyed the comfort of each other’s presence, holding hands.
Time passed by and curfew got closer.
“We… should head to our rooms.”
Scotty slowly tried to get up but Leonard held him back. His hand was wrapped around the Scotsman’s wrist tightly.
“Leon-“
He didn’t finish his sentence. Their mouths crushed and suddenly he was lying on the ground, Leonard on top of him.
The kisses burned like fire but all he wanted was to return them. He wanted to give the prince what he needed. For it was the thing he wanted himself.
Their tongues entagled, hands ran through each other’s hair. They wanted this just so much.
But they had to stop. This wasn’t the right place. Even though no one could see them… and the door was locked… and nobody would come looking here…
Scotty felt Leonard’s hands on his chest. He started to unbutton his shirt!
He really wanted to do this. Right there and then.
“Leona-“ Scotty managed to get out in between the kisses. He grabbed Leonard’s hands and stopped him.
The prince looked startled when he realized what they had been about to do.
He backed away slightly.
“I-I’m sorry, I…”
Scotty sighed, crawling over to the other boy.
“I want this just as much as ye want it. But… this isn’t the place and time.”
Leonard nodded. There was sweat running down his forehead and he quickly wiped it away.
Scotty swallowed hardly. This was so hard. On both of them.
If only there was a room where they could be sure that no one would find them. A room where it was just the two of them. No one else…
“Let’s go,” Scotty said as he got up and reached out his hand to help Leonard.
They sneaked out of the music room when they were sure no one was around.
With one last longing look they both separated ways and walked to their rooms.
Yes… they’d make it work somehow.
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B roll - 2005 12
01 - “For in the dew of little things, the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.” - Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet
06 - I have several paragraphs written down here, most of which could be summed up in an extreme economy of words: Fight, flight, furrow, or fuck it.
06 - Each decision we make leaves millions of decisions unmade, millions of possible futures that will never be. Every now and then I wonder about those undiscovered countries, and whether or not things would be different, better, whatever, if I’d simply walked a little faster, went 'round the corner to the left rather than the right, or been a little more silly than serious.
14 - Every once in a while I experience a feeling of foreboding, as if something’s soon going to happen that I won’t like one iota. Sometimes I know what’s to come, but most of the time it’s just a sort of itching sense under the skin that you can’t quite shake off. Don’t look at me like I’m a lunatic; this is the human “sixth sense”, or part of it, and I’m certainly far from being alone in feeling a little off kilter now and then.
14 - For me, I think one of the worst feelings in the world, is knowing you’ve done something wrong, and knowing, too, that you will not be allowed to make amends for it.
15 - Carrots are good for your eyes - but it hurts when you push 'em in.
17 - It doesn’t matter what you’re made of; it matters what you make of yourself.
17 - Don’t look for proof; be the proof.
19 - Fundamental to the functioning of the universe, are: leaps of faith, trust, hope, warmth, contentment, creative sparks, peace, challenge, variety
19 - Cleansing: Primal Scream Therapy, Exercise, A good cry, Loud music, A hug, Peace, Sleep, Answers
19 - Vices: Every person should have at least one.
21 - Occasionally, and this may be a contradiction in terms but I don’t care, I like to rock out to Right Said Fred’s I’m Too Sexy. You’d be amazed how well it works with the Fleshtones’ Right Side of a Good Thing. No, really.
23 - Could you imagine a man with no penis experiencing phantom limb syndrome?
24 - Deserve: respect, affection, attention, love, hugs, not to have my time wasted, honesty, truth, communication, sharing
27 - “I just don’t want to come to the end of my life and have to say, ‘I want things to be different, but I chickened out when I had the chance.’” - Grace, “Something to Talk About”
27 - When I was young I used to like laying on the floor with my head under the Christmas tree while the lights were lit. I remember the last time I did it - my grandfather had just been in a horrible car accident and there was some doubt as to his survival. He did, for another 14 or so years. There was something simple and pretty about laying under the tree looking up through the branches that way, something that took my mind off troubles and brought peace.
28 - I asked some friends for suggestions on things I could write about, and one of them suggested this, ennui. I hope that was a suggestion, and not just commentary.
29 - Send someone a secret gift or nice message now and then - even if you don’t like them. Everyone deserves a boost.
29 - Here’s a typical expressive expletive from my birthplace that you’re not too likely to hear elsewhere: I don’t give a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut.
29 - I am a sad sufferer of Hoof In Mouth disease, on occasion. Sometimes I don’t know when to shut up, when not to say something, or when I’ve crossed a line. It is an unfortunate side-effect of being an imperfect mortal.
29 - People always ask you what you do for fun as if fun things are supposed to somehow be completely separate from everything else you do. As if work, home, friends, family, and play, are not meant to intermingle. I find that sad, the lengths to which some folks go to compartmentalise their existence.
29 - There’s always a place for bad taste, like at drunken parties when rude limericks are called for, or tacky decor, or costume jewellery.
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