#emotional self control su
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Max the wag: are we the drama? l Max Verstappen Imagine
happy note: hello my loviessssss! How are you all? It feels like it’s been an eternity and I am so so happy to be back to writing and interacting with your great and incredible asks and everything <3 and I know I said this was supposed to be ready by Monday or so? but I started an internship and it's been harder than expected, but I'm getting the hang of it so be prepared for more works to come!
Probably tomorrow I’ll be posting a list of all the requests I’m incredibly behind but that way you know I got them and are on my mind and will be written <3 I also don’t know if you like the idea of starting a tag list? Please please let me know, babes <3
ALSO I got an incredible request of the Max the wag series involving our boy Yuki AND I LOVED IT SO MUCH so it’s absolutely happening!
YOU CAND FIND THE MAX THE WAG SERIES HERE
summary: For the first time, Max and you find yourselves on the other end of the gossip.
Hungary Grand Prix, 2023.
Max wasn’t feeling like himself.
The car upgrades were supposed to be great, not to make him struggle and happy a shitty day, which meant shitty questions, passive aggressive press conference trying to not look so annoyed, but it didn’t help that the press was painstakingly working to get the worst angles with furrowed eyebrows and waving off strangers trying to aggressively approach him.
Of course, it didn’t help you weren’t there to hold his hand walking around the paddock, forcing his blue eyes to focus on your calming smile and the inevitable lovestruck expression plastered on his face.
And yes, he was letting out the fact he didn’t leave Monaco in the best of terms. He’d grown accustomed to you tagging along to most races, but when you informed him you wouldn’t be able to make it to the last two races before summer break he didn’t take it the best way.
Yes, Max understood you were needed at your job and deadlines were way more difficult to meet with changing time zones, bumpy flights and noisy paddocks and hospitalities, but it didn’t change the fact that he needed you and his selfish self really needed you cheering for him, even if you’d seen him win enough times already.
In conclusion, it was safe to say he didn’t really feel like putting on a genuine smile or goof around with interviewers who’d ask the same questions while Christian tells him off for looking unapproachable.
The only thing that turned the corners of his mouth was a WhatsApp attachment from you, Jimmy and Sassy sleeping with the F1 channel on full display on the TV.
It wasn’t long until Twitter and Instagram fan accounts came to the conclusion you weren’t there with Max, creating a small discussion with some people arguing that it didn’t make sense you’d tagged along to places like Baku or Melbourne and not go to a race less far away and arguably one of the most popular tracks of the season, while other people defended you saying you had your own life apart from being Max’s girlfriend, you had a job, conferences to attend amongst other things, so it was ridiculous to expect you to be there for every race, no matter how much you loved Max.
You don’t know whether it was the fact you didn’t post a story on Instagram celebrating Max’s win or the fact Max hadn’t been his best self, struggling with the car, losing control over the tiniest thing and just losing focus overall the fuel for some fans to start speculating about the status of your relationship.
User1: why hasn’t y/n posted something about max?? she always does when she’s not with him
User2: something’s sus
User3: no pls I cant handle another July break up
User4: max deserves someone who shows up for him! He arguably had the most difficult weekend of the season and she’s mia
User5: she’s always there for him and has a right to have her own life grow the hell up!
Belgian Grand Prix, 2023
Last race before summer break meant most people on the paddock were a turmoil of emotions between the desire for the weekend to be completely over and wishing to do the best possible job before the break.
Max convinced himself he was coming into the weekend relaxed, knowing he’d have to put his best strategies, talent and focus for Spa, but a few free weeks were right around the corner so he could recharge with you, staying in bed for the entire morning before getting up to get ready to go out, maybe arriving back to the apartment drunk and giggly only to regret everything during the morning, but with the knowledge you were going to do the exact same.
He was facetiming you when he came across lots of fans wanting his attention, asking for pictures, until someone asked for you and Max pretended he didn’t listen, not wanting to answer things about his relationship, and the woman that asked wasn’t even sharp enough to catch your face on full display on his screen.
Had Max known the chaos it would ensue not answering the simple question about you, maybe he’d reconsider, especially since Lando and him jumped from the paddock to a helicopter waiting to take them to the closing night of Tomorrowland where Martin Garrix was closing the last weekend.
User1: *attached video* pls pls you HAVE to see the discomfort on max face when someone asked him about y/n something is not right with parents
User2: we all know he never speaks about her thoo, im keeping my hopes up!!!!
User4: I’m calling break up and good cuz I never liked her always acted like she was too good for the f1 world and never communicated w fans
User3: that’s called being reserved moron!!1 you don’t see other wags taking pics with fans except maybe lily bc she’s a pro golfer!!!
You were sitting on your bed when Victoria sent a thread on Twitter (or X? or Threads? it’s confusing) pointing at every proof and detail about your supposed break up, ironically asking if you had something to inform the family since Max hadn’t said anything.
With widened eyes and unable to contain the urge to see what people were saying about Max and you, two hours later you were still reading gossip sites and didn’t even hear the door of the penthouse opening with both Sassy and Jimmy running away from the feet of the bed.
“Is this the welcome I get?” Max’s voice announced his arrival, catching you by surprise and throwing the phone in the air.
“Fuck, Max! You scared the shit out of me, I hate you!” You laughed, finally realizing he was right in front of you and kneeling on the bed to attach your arms around his neck, allowing Max to grab you by the thighs and spin you around while you left small kisses on his cheeks.
“What were you reading? You looked very focused,” Max carefully placed you back on the mattress before throwing his body and groaning at the feeling of his muscles relaxing.
“Did you know we broke up?” You questioned your boyfriend whose blue eyes opened as much as they could, eyebrows raised and slightly moving his head in confusion.
Max was confused but still demanded an answer on what was going on as he watched the corners of your mouth lifting and quiet giggles leaving them.
“Look, it’s full of theories because I didn’t attend the last races and after you went with Lando to watch Martin, some fans started drawing their own conclusions!”
“Are they insane? Speculating about other people’s love lives is so rude, and just because I didn’t answer a question about you which I never do? People are crazy!” Max exclaimed on an irritated tone, but quickly caught your eyes, making him realize the people commenting were doing the exact same thing as you, just on a larger scale.
“Baby, I think this time we are the drama…” You stated before the bedroom became quiet.
It was just Max and you staring at each other, recalling every time you eavesdropped a conversation that clearly wasn’t meant for either of you to hear, or discussed different theories on who had cheated, who had broken up with whom, why some partners were so young or looked almost identical.
“Schatz, I am not going to lie,” Max started with a frown and serious face before continuing. “I am very proud of us” After letting it out Max started laughing, his cheeks flushing and placing his hand over his mouth to try to stifle the sounds.
“Baby, this definitely means we made it!”
It was bound to happen, you were meant to eventually become a source of spectacle if you enjoyed gossiping about other people’s lives so much.
After laughing to the brink of tears, Max kissed your lips; softly, slowly and sensually, making it hard to separate but he stared right into your eyes and asked you in all seriousness: “Should we feed the gossip? Wouldn’t it be fun?”
#max the wag#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen blurb#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen au#max verstappen x you#f1 x you#f1 fic#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#max verstappen fluff#max verstappen fic#f1 fics#Max Verstappen
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Lost Love
(Small story I thought about doing until I write another request that I got, also be looking out I’m working on 4 request at a time then the rest at once💕)
Cha Hyun su x fem reader
Genre: Just a bit emotional
It’s been a year since you last saw Hyun su after trying his self into the military to keep the remaining survivors of Green Home safe , so we all would be able to saved and took to a shelter/camp that was meant for any survivors
Since then you lived with the regret of not telling him about the baby , both you and Hyun su moved in together in your first apartment at Green home , since you were a bit more social you made a few friends inside the building , but most of you time was spent with Hyun su
When the apocalypse started. Hyun su started to have serious noise bleeds , times where he would black out or there were even moments you felt like he want your Hyun su
After gathering with the remaining survivors you soon learned that Hyun su was a special case of the monsters that now roamed the city
After a while you found out you were pregnant, deciding it wasn’t the right time as you kept the pregnancy to yourself .. not knowing Hyun su would turn his self in the same night
Now here you were a year later with two beautiful children, a boy and a little girl , even though it’s been just a year they were already at the age of 12
Before giving birth to Cha Hee (son) and Cha Hui (girl) , you escaped from the shelter finding a small abandoned camper , the only joy out it was that it was two small rooms that had a full sized bed in both , a small kitchen and dining area that was in the middle and the driver seat that was locked right when you entered the camper
Your pregnancy was pretty easy we’re surprised you along the way , except that you felt your self changing as you started to hear a voice in your head , you belly barely as it looked like you were just bloated from a good meal or something, but you knew you were pregnant, the hardest part of the whole pregnancy was the birth , since you didn’t have any support, you ended up giving birth to the twins inside the camper in your small room , bring down on a spare dry towel you had to hold in your scrams as you gave birth to both Cha Hee and Ch Hui
After giving birth to the twins you noticed how much you’ve changed, your eyes had I slight hit of green with time making your neon eyes now look unnatural, you half grew a bit longer as you soon realized that you gave in to your desires , now becoming a monster but some how keeping it in control.. maybe it was because you had not one but two people to protect
After a few months after having Cha Hee and Cha Hui you soon realized that they weren’t exactly human either , as Cha Hee was born with bright blue eyes , Cha Hui was born with Green eyes
There was a few differences between the two as Cha Hee, he was a quite child , who could make a person go crazy after a certain amount of days soon resulting in their suicide or the death of everyone around them including them selves if you were lucky enough to stay on his good side he would use his touch to show your most happiest memories
Cha Hui was a bit different she was a cold child , always quietly analyzing others , but even though she seemed cold she was super nice once you got to know her , her touch could either set your ablaze as you scream in pain and agony or you could fall into a deep sleep that no one could wake you out of as you live out your deepest fears over and over again, but like her brother if your were no harm to her mother or Cha Hee she could show you your happiest memories ,you didn’t discover this until it happened in front of your eyes
After that you had Cha Hee and Cha Hui to keep on a special pair of gloves that were handmade by you, it made you feel a bit more safe if no one would discover there powers then any one would assume their normal kids , the only thing that would make any one realize their twins it their dark black hair that resembles Cha Hyun Su’s
As you laid in your bed as you start to realize that it’s been quite for a while now , thinking that the the twins were in bed as you stand to your feet , slowly walking out of your room and you peek into their room that was located on the right of yours
Seeing that the room was empty as you start to become slightly worried , heading for the kitchen finning area to see that they weren’t there either
‘Where are they’ the voice in stead your head says as you frantically search the camper a second time just to make sure , but when you saw they weren’t there you quickly open the doors to the camper heading down the three small steps as you head out the door looking left and right frantically as you run straight heading down the road as you call out both Cha Hee and Cha Hui’s names
Not getting a response from neither of your babies as you start to panic thinking of all the possible things that could have happened to them
What if they ran into humans? Or worse the military? , as your mind starts to cloud with questions that only made you panic more , you soon came to a hault as you heard a few giggles , looking around the area as you notice a small grader dome
Taking a small breathe in and out as you head inside the small dome , eyeing scanning around the flowers that bloomed with life , causing you to feel a bit calm but still worrying for you babies
After a while of walking down the small trail you come to a stop , as you feel your body tense up , confusion shown in your eyes
There was Cha Hee and Cha Hui.. but they weren’t alone , there stood Hyun su with a girl that seemed to be around the age of 14 as she talked to Cha Hui who had a small smile on her face , it took a while before Cha Hyun su noticed your presence , eyes locking with your as Ah-yo turned to see why Hyun su was so quite , eyes slowly following his as they land on you soon catching the attention of the twins
“MOMMY” Cha Hee screams out with joy as he runs toward you wrapping his arms around your waist with a smile
“Mom , look we made a new friend” Cha Hee says as pulls away from the hug grabbing a hold of your hand as he pulls you towards Hyun su , Ah-yi and Cha Hui as Cha Hui soon stand beside you wrapping her arms around you as she looks at Ah-hi and Hyun su
“This is Ah-yi and Hyun su” Cha Hee says as he points to both Ah-yi and Hyun su
“And this is our mom , Reader” Cha Hui says as she tightens her hold eyes still watching Ah-yi and Hyun su who eyes now look at you with pure shock
“M-Mom…” Hyun su says as his head hangs low , Ah- yi noticing the hurt in his voice , after a few seconds his head slowly rises eyes now shining blue as he gives you a cold stare
“ After everything we done for you.. to keep you safe , and you have some assholes child , correction children” Hyun su says eyes staring daggers in to yours as you feel a shiver flow down your spine
“I-It’s not like that” You reply as you look down down your feet not able to look him in the eye
“Wait..you know her” Ah-yo says as she looks between you and Hyun su in confusion
“I do actually in fact she’s our dear girlfriend, well was it seems” Hyun su says eyes now looking both at you , Cha Hee and Cha Hui
“I didn’t cheat okay.. I just..” you say looking back in to Hyun Su’s eyes tears now threading to fall
“I don’t know how to tell you and it was to late.. you let us alone” you managed to choke out as tears start to flow, Shock showing on Hyun Su’s face as he looks between Cha Hee and Cha Hui
“T-Their .. mine” Hyun su says eyes slowing turning to normal as he slowly falls to his knees , tears falsify flowing down his face as he looks at you with a sorry expression
“I-I didn’t mean to .. I-I just wanted to keep you safe..I..” before he could finish his sentence Cha Hee warped his in a warm hug as Cha Hui looks him in his teary eyes
“So .. your our father” Cha Hui says as her green eyes watches Hyu su closely as he slowly nods his head in agreement, slowly walking towards Hyun su as she slowly wraps her arms around him pulling him and Cha Hee in a hug
“I had a weird feeling .. it explains why we were okay with you keeping us company” Cha Hee says with apart smile
After a while of hugging , Hyun su informs you on Ah-yi and how he has been taking care of her since she was pretty much born , listening as Hyun su talks about Ah-yi like a proud father , which he was, he starts to feel guilty about missing his own kids growing up deciding to keep not only Ah-yo but you and both Cha Hee and Cha Hui close and safe
#black reader#fem reader#female reader#sweet home#sweet home 2#sweet home imagines#x reader#cha hyun soo#cha hyunsu#cha hyun su x reader#sweethomefanfic#sweet home x reader#sweet home fanfic#kdrama x reader
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Lu Guang is a hypocrite and that’s okay (great even)
I must stand ten toes for this man because I’m noticing the slander that went on in September and I cannot allow it. I know I’m six months late but just bear with me. We are introduced to Lu Guang as a rational, stoic, sort of wise protagonist. The brains of the operation if you will (although Cheng is clever in his own right but that’s a whole other discussion). Qiao Ling and Captain Xiao describe him as more mature. Shiguang’s relationship is strong but it’s structured, especially for their work, to where Cheng has to depend on Lu Guang. Should only do as he says and not do anything impulsive.
And it gets to a point where Cheng doesn’t know what to do without him and when LG isn’t there he relies on his past words to guide him. The thing is, we’ve seen that CXS can come up with great plans and make good decisions without Lu Guang’s voice in his head. Like how he caught Min Liu or planning how save Lu Guang from Li Tianchen. But the story has built LG up so much to be a reliable character so it can’t be untrue. But then the s2 finale happens, Cheng gets shot and Lu Guang loses his mind.
And then the ending basically tells you that he’s been winging it and gambling this whole time. Experimenting with god knows how many timelines, simply using his knowledge from the previous one to see if he’ll get lucky this time. Lu Guang has been playing a crane game. So in a story that is all about mistakes, guilt and regrets. Of showing the imperfections of people. Of showing the struggles of moving forward, of being satisfied with the present. Of sacrificing your sanity, your voice, your desires, and happiness for the people you love. How is this bad writing?
Link click has been tricking the audience to believe Lu Guang is an infallible character.
But Link Click was never about perfect people.
What he’s trying to do is no different from Li Tianchen, one of our antagonists. And I love CXS to fucking pieces but this show raises the question of a life’s value. LG is trying to save Cheng and so refuses to change the past for anyone else. Bc it may alter things and doom CXS in the process and ruin all he’s worked towards. But then you ask yourself, is CXS’s life worth more than the twins' mother? Is it worth more than Chen’s mother? Is it worth more than Emma?
It doesn’t matter because it is to Lu Guang. It’s like the question if your sibling and a mailman are trapped in a burning building but you can only try to save one. Unless they’re the absolute scum of the earth, chances are and possibly even despite that, you’re going to pick your sibling. That don’t mean it’s objectively more valuable than the mailman or you didn’t have sympathy for that person, they have loved ones, hopes and joys too. “Lu Guang is a hypocrite, selfish, unreliable, and a liar” yes he is. Because there is something called ‘flawed characters’. It’s okay for your protagonist to not be the best person. It’s okay to write a protagonist whose trauma has defined some of their actions.
If you’ve been forced to have someone you love die in your arms over and over, why is it surprising that you would lie to them? How is it surprising that you’d try to keep secrets? That you’d set things up to be in a position to control the situation? That’ll force you to plan better so maybe, just maybe things will be different? You think Lu Guang lacks self awareness and doesn’t know what this makes him? Of all things you can call LG, he’s not delusional. He knows the weight of his actions.
Link Click has and always will be a story about people. Where our emotions and choices take us. Lu Guang isn’t a robot so why would he be an exception?
Plus everyone should’ve been knew Lu Guang was sus anyway. Idk how that’s mischaracterization, there’s proof of him lying and keeping secrets from CXS in s1. It doesn’t ruin anything it recontextualizes what we were shown back then.
#anime#manga#donghua#link click#shiguang daili ren#lu guang#link click s2#cheng xiaoshi#shiguang#defense#sort of#manhua#time agents#sgdr#lc#I think some people need to rewatch s1 for real#LEAVE HIM ALONE HE’S IN LOVE#but seriously why did ppl feel betrayed#the reveal makes his action have more logic behind them other than he’s rational#copy paste from twitter
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Returning to Home-Base
Pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader
Summary: You and Simon had been dating for four years now and you know in your heart that you truly loved this man; yet with all the deployment's he's been sent on recently; you begin to question it all, especially when he does not return.
Warnings: 783 words, angst.
A/N: trying out angst for once; hope you all enjoy~
Masterlist | Taglist | edited.
Returning to Home-Base Series
(pt.1) (pt.2, v.1) (pt.2, v.2)
you are here
4 years.
That's how long you and Simon had been officially dating for; and this weekend would mark your anniversary of an all too awkward exchanging on feelings from mutual friends of Soap to lovers.
Yet your relationship with the Lieutenant had been on the rocks recently; with his deployments becoming what felt months on end and back to back. Every time he would come through the door- exhausted just like your emotional control. Your boyfriends feeling more like a memory than a person.
You knew that this was a part of being with him, and a part to which you both acknowledged and agreed to. You recognized this as early friends; dealt with this for years with John years before even meeting. Yet here you lay on the shared bed with sheets freshly washed and made with the windows open; the cool air hitting your skin with goosebumps of anticipation.
you agreed to this, echoed through your memories together as you sat listening to the neighbours apartment party the next door over; thumping, bashing and crashing simultaneously. you agreed to this.
Like clockwork, every time Simon would come back; turning the key and lightly opening the door before shutting it with the outsole of his boot. Moving his duffle bag to that horrid-green arm chair first. Before going back and removing his warn combat boots you found comfort in seeing kicked into the closet.
Simon would then find you; wrapping his arms around your core; fitting you snuggly to his chest and caging you in with his head as he would breath in your hair and rub small circles across your back and up to your shoulders. He always smelled fresh from the showers; his shirt slightly damp as your hands would train up and down the sore bunches of muscles in his back.
You would feel how his throat would groan every time you would kneed them out and how he would take his hands in return; brushing up your neck and under your chin; bringing his lips to capture yours. And there is where you would melt every, single, time... until now it seemed.
You felt guilty; he was saving lives, he was doing something he was passionate about and was composed in a team of honourable members yet here you sat always wanting more.
So you sat and waited for him to return; watched as the clock hands ticked past the hours, the neighbour's party had died down significantly with every tick yet the sound of boots against hardwood floors had yet to grace your ears.
--
In the early morning hours; you still had not slept. Wanting to face him head on- you practiced what you would say when your eyes connected. Before your fading memory of his touch would ignite new ones as soon as your skin met his.
Cleaning the apartment; cooking a dinner for two on the table and thus washing it up when the food became cold. To later folding the shirts that had lost his scent back into the shared drawers. You looked towards the clock; listening for Simon with spoiled hope; anxiety growing with every tick that bounced through the room.
--
Afternoon of the next day saw you passed out on the couch; using one of his large black hoodies as a blanket. Your mind raced towards all avenues of possibilities; was he bleeding, was he breathing, was his team doing alright. Where was he, when will he show up, will he?
you agreed to this laughed at your subconscious self and mocked your memories that drifted across your tear covered eyes and down your cheeks.
Going to clean yourself up for the workday; you used the conditioner that he always bought for you when picking up supplies for the house. Hands shaking across your scalp; thinking of the larger ones that would caress every part of your body in these moments.
--
When returning back home hopeful to a dead house; you refused to fall asleep in the empty bed that haunted your dreams of nights under the covers. Legs brushing up against one another; your head on a large chest as you traced the outlines of his tattoos. You remeber him shivering against you; the room warm.
And when sunlight caressed your cheeks, legs, and followed you into the kitchen as the coffee pot finished dripping. You couldn't bare to use the set of homemade mugs that you made with the task-force.
you agreed to this, pouring out two mugs for the table; your tired and puffy eyes carried your shaking form to move when you heard a knock at the door and opened it to see two sets of work-boots- few words are exchanged and then the tiles of the hallway appear to be moving closer towards your face as your whole world spins; turning black.
╰┈➤ A/N: glad to see you guys enjoy this story :)
Returning to Home-Base
(pt.1) (pt.2, v.1) (pt.2, v.2)
you are here
#cod mw2#cod mwii#simon ghost riley#ghost mw2#simon riley#ghost cod#ghost call of duty#ghost x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#simon ghost x reader#simon ghost riley x you#ghost x y/n#simon ghost x you#call of duty#simon ghost riley imagine#fanfiction#fanfic#cod fanfic#cod x reader#cod mw#cod#cod fandom#angst#cod angst#simp-ly-writes#simp-ly
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Solar return chart observations (2019)
Scorpio rising at 29 degrees
🌪️That year was my most traumatic year.
🌪️There were countless transformations (mostly endings and also new life-changing beginnings) in that year.
🌪️I lost many friends. I got gossiped by the whole class. The whole class didn’t talk to me. I was slut-shamed and they even spread rumors about me being pregnant while I was just gaining some weight. I was notorious with bad reputation in my school. My first love left me. I tried to run away with my first love. My parents caught me and grounded me for several months. I was literally in solitude. I had no one by my side. Both emotionally and physically. I can even write a whole damn book about this year.😭
🌪️However, I learned how to stay alone happily in that year. (It was not an option. The universe was like BAM you need to encounter THIS to achieve THIS success or whatsoever😃).
🌪️My whole personality before and after that year was so different that no one couldn’t recognize me after that year when I went back to school.
Moon in 1st house conjuncts ascendant (in Sagittarius at 0 degrees)
🌪️Maybe due to these traumatic events, my emotions were running high all the time.
🌪️Even though I tried to hide my pain and act like a typical scary silent scorpio rising, people still attacked me because I looked so vulnerable.
🌪️I cried almost everyday in that year.
🌪️Also I gained weight like A LOT MY FACE WAS LIKE AN ENORMOUS MEAT DUMPLING👹👹👹
**I also notice that I gained weight so easily last year when I had scorpio rising even though my moon was in 7th house in Taurus. Might be because of Taurus moon but Idk, scorpio rising year scares me hell a lot now.😺**
Jupiter in 1st house (in Sagittarius at 18 degrees)
🌪️I gained tons of weight because of my only coping mechanism : binge eating and also due to covid and quarantine.
🌪️I felt like food was the only escape in my life and I gained like 60 lbs.🤦🏻♀️
🌪️However, I had lucky academic opportunities.
🌪️I had to change my tuition because everyone including the teachers slut-shamed me and only because of that transformation, I finished high school with high marks and now I’m in medical school.
🌪️Thanks to my new teachers from new tuition and also those stupid bitches who believed everything they heard without clearly thinking as grown-up adults.😍
Saturn conjunct Pluto in 2nd house (in Capricorn)
🌪️My self-esteem declined so low that I rarely even went out in that year.
🌪️I felt like no one wanted me and I questioned about my worth like thousand times.
🌪️Throughout the year, transformations related to self-worth and self-love questioned my existence.
🌪️I was always thinking like “do I even deserve to eat this or go to this or be friends with them?” every damn time my mom asked me what I needed and every time someone approached me.
Neptune and Lilith in 4th house (in Pisces)
🌪️My whole family was very confused about me.
🌪️They even thought I was possessed by some ghost because I acted very unusual eg I couldn’t control my anger and I kinda self-sabotaged and I just bursted out and cried so suddenly when I was at home (that was just my trauma response I mean I don’t really know how they expected me to act after all those punishment they gave me and personal attacks received from my ex-mates)😺.
🌪️My parents kept really close eyes on me because they were worried that I would commit su-ici-de and they also had their respective assumptions about me but at the same time, they also outcasted me and thought I was really a slut who slept with lots of men because I did many reckless things without thinking about consequences.
🌪️I also often had intense vivid dreams and nightmares.
🌪️I was addicted to vapes and used them secretly in my room in that year.
🌪️So effed up🔫
Chiron in 5th house (in Aries)
🌪️My first love broke my heart.
🌪️My first serious heartbreak.
🌪️I had to take about 9 months to fully move on from him.
🌪️My inner child got hurt and my creativity and self-expression left my soul in that year.
🌪️I lost my silly child-like spirit in that year.
Uranus in 6th house (in Taurus at 5 degrees)
🌪️At first I was planning to study really hard to prepare for my matriculation exam but due to covid, there were huge unexpected changes in my routines and habits.
🌪️My plans got ruined.
Venus in 7th house conjuncts Amor (in Gemini)
🌪️Amor asteroid represents soulmate.
🌪️I met my first love and fell in love with him like a fool.
🌪️Everyone warned me because they saw red flags🚩🚩🚩🚩but I was blindly in love and was like “I’m gonna marry him”😭😭.*dies of embarrassment*
🌪️That was my first time that I gave actual commitment to someone and I felt like he was my soulmate.
🌪️I couldn’t let go of him for so long.
🌪️I wrote songs about him.
🌪️I wrote short stories about him.
🌪️It was bitter-sweet but now it’s just a memory.🌌
Sun in 7th house (in Gemini)
🌪️My main focus was on relationships relationships RELATIONSHIPS and I strongly desired to build meaningful social connections rather than superficial ones in that year.
🌪️My hidden enemies also pulled their masks off lmao I had to deal with them the whole year because they kept saying things about me that I didn’t even know I did.😩
Mercury conjunct mars in 8th house (in Cancer)
🌪️I remember that I was fully in my hermit mode the year I had this placement.
🌪️I searched articles about how to attack those arseholes spiritually but didn’t really take an action because I believed in karma.🧘🏻♀️
🌪️I was always reading books about magic, detective, occult and death and I even thought about committing a su-ici-de because I was severely depressed.
🌪️I was alone but also so blunt (I think I was just trying to protect myself) every time someone tried to befriend me.
🌪️I cursed a lot and my anger issues were like high up in the sky that one time, the wall cracked because I punched while I was angry and I’m just A GIRL🎀💕🥰).
Vertex in 9th house (in Leo at 15 degrees)
🌪️Maybe because of all of this, I started to pray to Buddha every single day in that year.
🌪️I suddenly became so religious and I felt like I only had him by my side.
🌪️My beliefs about religion expanded and I started to learn about other religions too in that year.
🌪️Also fated events occurred at my school so yeah vertex can say a lot about your upcoming year.
🌪️Immediately CHECK YOUR VERTEX IN YOUR SOLAR RETURN CHART RIGHT NOW!!!🥱
My scorpio ascendant was in my natal 5th house
🌪️My main focus was on relationships and dating as I’ve already said.
🌪️I also think I was so fertile in that year or maybe horny?
🌪️I wanted to get pregnant with my first love and I was only 14 at that time💀💀💀 (I know I was so silly but I was just a kid so I forgive myself for that *dies of embarrassment again*).
🌪️Sex education and vapes and drugs might be normal for teenagers in western countries but in my country, they’re like really taboo topics and parents biggest nightmare was their drug addict children getting pregnant😭.
🌪️Almost everyone did not dare to discuss about those openly in those days.
🌪️Also I was just 14 at that time so it’s not my parents’ fault that they stopped me and restricted me too much but however, their punishment was directed in a wrong way and that’s why I had to find other ways to suppress my pain. I don’t know who to blame, myself or those so-called friends or my parents😭.
So in conclusion, it was a very hard year and very life-changing and unforgettable but it shaped me into who I am today so I’m really happy to receive all of those new experiences. English is not my first language so please bear with me if I made some mistakes.🫰🏼💕
Also you can ask me about two placements (maximum) you want from your solar return chart. I’ll answer them as soon as I get free time.❤️
My mood in 2019 as GIF be like:
#astrology observations#solar return chart#astrology#astrology notes#astro notes#synastry observations#scorpio rising#astro observations#asteroid astrology#venus in gemini#sun in 7th house#vertex
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Skelm, Palace
Image © Paizo Publishing, accessed at Archives of Nethys here
[Talking with me during the development of her red hag, @soylent-crocodile referred to it as "a species of Starscreams". Which is a great description, and also an accurate assessment of the palace skelm. Although it's obvious that Grima Wormtongue is also a major influence on this PF2e monster. The fact that palace skelms and red hags are the same CR and would absolutely hate each other is the icing on the cake for me.]
Palace Skelm
CR 8 LE Monstrous Humanoid
This humanoid figure is almost human, except for the pair of gleaming antlers growing from his skull. He is dressed in fine noble’s clothing.
Palace skelms are creatures that delight in the corruption of power. They often are found among military officers and politicians, some of whom transformed into skelms in that position. Palace skelms spend their time either jockeying for power or abusing the power that they do have, treating their subordinates with casual cruelty. A palace skelm is an excellent liar, and they can even insert their words into the mouths of others. They encourage competition, jealousy and paranoia in any court they find themselves in, turning functioning governments into a den of vipers to exploit. They are ostentatious by nature, and frequently flaunt their wealth and status with finery.
Most palace skelms prefer to exert power from behind the throne, ingratiating himself to a ruler and warping their perceptions so that they only trust the skelm. Coups and political upheavals are dangerous for palace skelms, as they simultaneously allow for more opportunities to inflict suffering while increasing the risk of the skelm’s true nature being exposed, or of the skelm losing their grasp on what power they have. Palace skelms have a tendency to self-sabotage, as their interlocking schemes can spiral out of their control, and their answer to being caught in the act is usually murder.
Palace Skelm CR 8
XP 4,800
LE Medium monstrous humanoid
Init +4; Senses Perception +16, scent
Defense
AC 22, touch 14, flat-footed 18 (+4 Dex, +8 natural)
hp 102 (12d10+36)
Fort +7, Ref +12, Will +11; -2 vs. emotion effects
DR 10/cold iron
Offense
Speed 30 ft.
Melee gore +18 (1d12+6 plus trip), slam +18 (1d6+6)
Special Attacks incite violence
Spell-like Abilities CL 8th, concentration +13 (+17 casting defensively)
Constant—tongues
At will—message, paranoia (DC 17)
3/day—clairaudience/clairvoyance, enthrall (DC 17), invisibility, suggestion (DC 18)
1/day—charm monster (DC 19), curse of the outcast (DC 21), private sanctum
Statistics
Str 23, Dex 18, Con 17, Int 18, Wis 17, Cha 20
Base Atk +12; CMB +18 (+20 trip); CMD 32 (34 vs. trip)
Feats Combat Casting,Combat Expertise, Deceitful, Improved Trip, Improved Vital Strike, Vital Strike
Skills Bluff +21, Disguise +21, Diplomacy +14, Intimidate +21, Knowledge (local, nobility) +14, Perception +16, Sense Motive +13, Sleight of Hand +13, Stealth +16; Racial Modifiers +4 Intimidate
Languages Aklo, Common, tongues
SQ change shape (Small or Medium humanoid, alter self), corrupt speech, skelm traits
Ecology
Environment urban
Organization solitary
Treasure standard
Special Abilities
Corrupt Speech (Su) As an immediate action, a palace skelm can corrupt the speech of a creature within 30 feet. The skelm can say up to twelve words and makes a Bluff check as opposed to the Perception of other creatures that can hear the original speech. If the skelm succeeds, the perceiving creatures hear the palace skelm’s words come out of the speaker’s mouth. If the skelm fails, they hear the original speech. If the Perception check succeeds by more than 5, the perceiving creature hears both phrases, and knows that the skelm spoke the words. If the skelm’s Bluff check against a target succeeds by 5 or more, the skelm can cast suggestion or paranoia on that target as part of the same action. A skelm cannot use a spell-like ability on multiple targets in this way at a time, even if it successfully deceives multiple creatures.
Incite Violence (Su) As a standard action once per day, a palace skelm can incite violence in all creatures that can hear it within 30 feet. If a creature fails a DC 21 Will save, it makes a melee attack against an adjacent creature of the skelm’s choosing, choosing its most powerful weapon or natural attack if it has multiple. If a skelm uses this ability and an affected creature has no creatures adjacent to it, the creature is instead stunned for 1 round. This is a mind-influencing, compulsion, sonic effect, and the save DC is Charisma based.
Skelm Traits (Ex) A skelm gains a +4 racial bonus on Intimidate checks and a -2 penalty on saving throws against emotion effects.
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THERE IS SOMETHING TO BE SAID FOR FREEDOM
AKA Analysis of Crosshair in The Tipping Point
This may sound like a strange claim to be making about Crosshair in S2 E14. (SPOILERS BELOW IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THIS EPISODE YET).
Crosshair is imprisoned this entire episode. Tied down. Tortured. Unable to move. And yet I was almost speechless at how he is rendered, in both his facial expressions and his choices. As strange as it sounds to say, I think Crosshair is at peace in this episode. This man is finally, fully HIMSELF. It’s HIM. This is the REAL Crosshair, like we’ve never seen him before.
His face (and his eyes) are so OPEN. I don’t know how else to describe it. Prior to this, Crosshair had a variety of colorful facial expressions that he usually kept on him, ranging from sarcastic sneers, brows pulling together in worry, feigned disinterest, and downright rage. (I will be making a separate post on the expansive range of Crosshair’s expressions and how I think they signify what his real emotions are).
But here, we start with Crosshair in a prison cell, being roughly taken out of his confinement to another location. Normally I would expect Crosshair to have a very sour, disdainful look on his face as these TK troopers cuff him and haul him out. But he doesn’t. Yes there’s a bit of a raised eyebrow still, but his face is just calm. Open. Serious but not fraught with tension. (Also, shameless side note: this man looks so good in blue/gray/not black colors. They make him seem softer and more open, as well).
Not only that, but he gazes around him, eyes moving side to side, paying attention to the other prison cells (maybe even looking to see if there was someone he knew also being held there?), even getting himself in trouble for taking an interest in those around him. Crosshair, who has always held himself separate and apart, has always pretended to look away even when he was listening. He is present, even in the midst of a horrible situation.
I was reminded of the end shot in The Solitary Clone, and the parallels of him walking freely down the hallway as an imperial there, and a prisoner here. But in the first one he’s actually a prisoner inside himself, while in the second, he might be held captive on the outside, but he’s free on the inside.
Even to Emerie and Hemlock, Crosshair remains surprisingly mild and level in his responses. May I remind you what this man’s face has looked like earlier in his story when dealing with people in power over him - and when being tasked to give up his family.
But instead he simply gazes at them calmly–suspicious, but clear-headed. He is in possession of his self esteem and purpose once again, and he doesn’t need to put on a front of superiority or fury in order to face the gaze of others.
And he knows immediately what the doctor wants. He obviously has no intention of giving up his brothers. His face and tone remain even, controlled. He still says “the kid” to Hemlock’s face, but there is no animosity in using those words. And we will see how that was no longer Crosshair’s real opinion of Omega.
On the flipside of this calmness, we have very rarely seen Crosshair fall apart from pain or fear in front of others. But this torture from Hemlock is excruciating, and as a result of Crosshair’s emotions being closer to the surface, his sensitivity to pain and fear and anguish are on full display as well.
He manages to escape the current torture, but his goal isn’t to save himself. In maybe the most important scene of this episode, Crosshair risks his life to warn and try to save his family, his brothers, his sister, with no regard for the consequences to himself. And yes, we almost got to hear him say “Omega” for the first time. Do we need any more proof that he cares? Crosshair is finally, truly, making the right decisions for the right reasons and he knows it. And that loyalty is going to help him bear whatever he has to bear to keep his family safe.
He is in so much pain and I hate it 😭
“Why suffer more?” Hemlock asks him. He is defiant, yes. But his “severe and unyielding nature,” his stubbornness and loyalty, his need to be accepted for who he is, are finally being put to the right purpose.
(Also, you cannot tell me this wasn't foreshadowing from The Solitary Clone.)
This is a man who loves and cares DEEPLY, who loves his family even after having had all trust severed on both sides, who would do anything to protect them, even if it means risking his own sanity and self. This man is at peace with his own actions - FINALLY. This is him. And that means so much to me.
I apologize now for the pain, but I am going to end by connecting this to a quote from Andor. Maarva’s last message to Cassian broke my heart and rebuilt it from the inside when I first heard it, and I realized that it could fully apply to Crosshair as well:
"Tell him, he knows everything he needs to know and feels everything he needs to feel. And when the day comes, and those two pull together, he will be an unstoppable force for good. Tell him... I love him more than anything he could ever do wrong."
#crosshair loves his brothers#and his sister#loyal to a fault#and that loyalty has cost him everything#bring crosshair home#give this man a hug#crosshairsweep#crosshair#crosshair bad batch#tbb season 2 spoilers#tbb season two#the bad batch season 2#the bad batch#the bad batch spoilers#emerie#doctor hemlock#the tipping point#long post#analysis#somelightramblings#some light ramblings#somelightedits#some light edits
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Hidden enemies
Direct quotes from @astrolovecosmos
Credit @astrolovecosmos
Observations in charts
Open enemies deals with the 7th and the hidden ones is seen through the 12th.
🗣
The sign on the 12th house cusp reveals potential placements of your enemies.
🗣
Venus shows us the relationship with our enemies
🗣
Mercury is interactions with enemy, Virgo can have a helpful approach (caretaker)
🗣
Moon is the emotional damage from this enemy
🗣
Sun placements shows how enemy pushes willpower onto you
🗣
Pluto allows enemies to turn the individual against themselves.
Enemies are out to harm with intent. cause trauma or wounds, even if accidental - through possession, manipulation, jealousy, control.
Placement and aspects of Pluto can give insight into how intuitive and receptive you are towards hidden enemies as well as self-awareness towards undoing. Ex: Pluto in the “other”/outer and integrative houses increase awareness and perception.
🗣
Mars can indicate areas of facing enemies head on or revealing them.
Jupiter can show beliefs, character
Neptune placement shows path to healing and processing.
Jupiter placement can show self-growth, expansion, and enlightenment
Placement of Saturn shows restrictions and challenges to overcoming enemies
Placement of Uranus can be a sign of how you can rebel and be free.
Placement of Saturn can show where you gain self-control.
❌️❌️❌️
❌️First observation ❌️
❌️12th house in Gemini the subject
(Opposing opinions, ideas, wants to seem smarter than you, two-faced, jealously, wanting what you have)
Vedic: 12th house Taurus
(For this subject, Sus is always challenging her opinions and ideas in sneaky ways by being nice to her face, turning around talking shit behind her back, being "fake nice" asking how you are to get the details on her life. Poking at the bad and being melancholy about the good )
(Jealous of what you have, possessions, jealous of your self- worth, enables overindulgence, materialistic behavior, keep your eyes on your shit)
(In this case, she sees what you have and go and buys it right away, always supports overindulgence, Taurus vice here, smoking, overeating, supports being things for material purposes, ex. Clothes, shoes, etc
Vedic
Taurus 12th house
❌️the SUs is a Gemini Sun, Taurus rising ❌️❌️
(Her 12th house sign is Aquarius Vedic, or Capricorn, her enemy is Aquarius dominant, Capricorn moon in this case)
(Considering ♒ is ruled by Saturn, they can zero compassion, superiority complex, being a fixed sign can be stubborn soloist, control freak tendencies becuz Saturn wants to have control)
❌️Venus in the 11th, 11th house is friends, online connections 🖤
❌️Mercury in the 11th, 11th hopes and desires, humanity, innovation, individualism
( Keep your enemies closer, haha with Venus in 11th, she is a friend and lots of online communication
MERCURY is your interactions with the enemy ( Sssss )
(This person focuses on your hopes and desires, prays on your humanity , jealous of individualism, innovation, your community connections, online connections)
Mercury is in Aries (vedic) & Taurus
Mixes between a slower more stable style of communication and aggressive style at other times
NOTE: DEJANIRA in the 12th sub
(hidden victim) also with lovers cuz ♉
❌️Venus in the 12th: sub
feminine toxicity , Lovers are associated. Enemies can be shameless, deceptive, misuse attraction, fail to love themselves and/or others.
Toxic people are those who make you feel uncomfortable, who are hard to connect with due to shallowness, or whose take advantage of your fondness, attachment, or infatuation.
An enemy or toxic person may actually desire you ❌️💋💀
(Referring to ♉, ex lover attraction, not sure about sus feeling this way, could point to being lovers in a past life)
❌️Mercury in the 12th House: sub
Secret enemies reveal themselves with words. Enemies here can be sly about putting you down.
(Used to call sub things like "bitch" in a "playful" way, she focuses on all the bad in what sub says, putting emphasis on it)
Enemies are untrustworthy, slandering, and quick to attack.
(Defensive when discussing faults, issues)
Siblings and extended family are associated. A toxic person may try to disconnect you from friends, the collective, or your intellectual confidence.
(By taking all your time, viewing her loved ones in a bad light,lowering vibrations with coversations topics seen in negative way instead of for growth )
Enemies somehow made a connection to your mind or very much notice your social standing/place in a community.
(Gets in your head, pokes at your rep. , mind tricks uses words carefully, speaks slower usually except when mad, methodical)
& here in lies the issue...friends don't try to trick you get you on the phone & mind twist you
Note: covering TS soon 💀
MOON: EMOTIONAL DAMAGE in 7th sub
This enemy tries to tear you down, damage lies in your relationships with others if you listen to the enemy
(Always hated subs partners, takes shiz about them)
Sun in the 10th -sub
Enemy tries to press their willpower through ruining your Reputation, ambitions, stability, security
( sus sure does try to ruin subs rep & people see the lower vibration she's putting out into the universe)
Mars in the 10th
Facing enemy in the public, revealing enemy to the public ;)
( enemy reveals themselves - no need for sub to help 😂)
Below I'll cover the enemy
Her Mars is in the 1st (enemy)
( she is her own enemy, she reveals herself with her behavior)
Mars in 1st, damage to self, literal sometimes && skin abrasions
❌️❌️
Venus in 2nd (enemy)
Relationship with others based on materialism, values
(Materalistic approach & topics in discussion)
Mercury in 1st (enemy)
Interactions are focused on ego, their identity, in Aries, argumentative approach
( sus is judging others HARD,
❌️Mean girl alert❌️
(She will send a picture or video of someone to sub & say omg look how ugly, cringy, etc they' are) sub does not humor this - so sus stopped ) 💀
Moon in 11th in Cap
Damage occurs with relationships with friends, community and social standing in community,
(reputation is well known for the emotional damage they've inflicted and being emotionally damaged by others (by her letting everyone know on social media)
Sun in 2nd pressing willpower through a false preach of self-worth, values
(Social media helps sus portray a perfect image of false self-worth)
She has PLUTO in the 7th
Death& transformation through relationships,
( bigg time & 1 literal death of ex spouse)
She is her own enemy (Scorpio) scorpio stinging themselve , she thinks of everyone as potential enemy
(Scorpio fixed stubborn nature, rather sting myself then be stung)
Her wound is through relationships (including business, lawsuits) with others physical & emotional wounds, traumas
(Every single person is sus life has an issue with her once they meet her, doctors, friends, siblings, in laws, close relations)
Jupiter in 9th
She has different morals from everyone and let's people know in an arrogant manner, stating her opinion is the only valid one, Aquarius Moon coming out seeing her opinion as the only way and superior to yours
Dose yourself with that cheap perfum its so 🎼🎵🎶 fitting , sooo fitting , YOU CANT COVER IT UP
Gem fake thing is so brutal man, we are all love man ❤️
Saturn in 12th
Restriction and challenges to overcome enemies is hidden
unable to look into subconscious reasoning for actions, Saturn I'd hidden, growth is stunted over and over, but of course.. never impossible
Pluto in the 5th sub
Sus is jealous of subjects creativity, individuality, offspring(trauma, wounds literal physical pain inflicted to offspring of subject from sus child,
love relationships ---
( sus always speaking ill of subs partners)
the joy you have in living
(Jealous of the joy and the life sub has)
Neptune sub in 7th
Neptune sus in 10th
Healing through hardwork, achieving goals, relationship with one of your parents (mother)
( sus fights with her mom about everything she dispises her , her healing is may with her dad)
Uranus in 8th sub
How you can break free, rebel from this enemy, through deep transformation, soul searching,
Uranus in the 10th sus
Breaking free through hardwork, recognition in community, increasing social standing, through human relationships,
In composite
Sun, Mercury & Mars in 12th
(Secrets between the two, on & of relationship, secret aggressive feelings, talking behind your back, vague feeling that the other person is sabotaging you, confusing communication- vague details,
Jupiter in 8th
Both gives more in different ways & ends up they both feel used, sub cares more in this case,
Saturn in 11th
Challenges surrounding friendship, ashamed of relationship, would not like to be seen by others in public. (Sub) relationship is judged by others
#sun in the 10th house#secretenemy#astrology aspects#astrology#astrology notes#scorpio#1st house#aries#taurus#2nd house#12th house#7th house#mars in the 10th house#uranus in 8th house#uranus#pluto#neptune#Gemini in 12th#taurusinthe12th#mercuryinthe11#venus in the 11th house#geminisun#taurusrising#compositesunin12th#compositemercuryin12th#compositemarsin12th
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su cuy´gar
Summary: Cody still works for the Empire two years after Order 66 but one day he sees something from his watchtower he just can't believe. (This is just a little short reunion fic.)
Warnings: none? Canon-divergence and post Order 66 but that's it
I think I wrote this back in 2021 and already did upload it on ao3 but hey why not here too (you know, I finally sat down and got an account last month and I'm slowly getting comfy here)
Don't expect too much, especially when it comes to posting more... I'm working on other fanfics but keep getting sidetracked or start others...the usual.
Anyways, enjoy! (Feedback is appreciated)
It has been two years since the rise of the Empire, exactly two years since Utapau. And Cody never quite understood why he stayed. Why he stayed with this new regime.
He followed orders.
He always did.
Maybe that's why he stayed.
There was nothing for him outside the Empire. Though, he heard some of his brothers had joined together, got others out and promised safety, Cody just couldn't see that for himself. The one person he would have returned to was gone.
There has always been blood on Cody's hands. First, that of his brothers. Cody led them into their death time and time again. Then, it was the blood of his general. Now, it's the blood of innocent.
He's so far gone from the clone he used to be and there is no way back.
He can't even try, stuck in a wasteland, an excuse of a planet under imperial control. There is nothing. Nobody.
So, Cody's initial reaction to double check the image currently being projected to him via holo is understandable.
It simply could not be.
The clone runs down the stairs of the watchtower he is stationed in, abandoning his post.
At foot of the tower he could now see the figure approaching without any gear and yanks off his bucket - probably the fastest he has ever done it - and yet he sill can't believe what he is seeing.
No matter if it was or simply his mind stabbing him in the back one final time. Seeing Obi-wan Kenobi is like seeing the sun again after a cold and terrifying night, seemingly endless and without escape.
A two year long night it has been.
His programming practically screams at Cody, telling him to do what apparently he didn't on Utapau, to follow through with the order like a good soldier and he would be lying if he said it wasn't hard, resisting the urge grab his blasters and start mindlessly shooting the jedi.
But this isn't just any jedi. This man, currently breaking into a sprint towards him, is the general.
It is his general.
Cody won't do the same mistake twice, he should have said kriff the programming back then, he definitely is saying it now. Over and over again in his mind while closing the distance between himself and the one he thought dead.
Cody blamed himself for everything that had happened daily, going numb and blank by the rotation till all that was left of the commander was the programming only.
Whatever Cody forcefully sacrificed that day on Utapau comes flooding back, for a second overwhelming the clone with regret, self-hatred and...love, adoration.
Slowing his steps Cody looks from his dark boots up to meet the jedi's face, unreadable. It makes him uncertain, scared to a degree.
"Cody...“, Obi-wan breathes out, standing so close, suddenly holding Cody's face in his callused, warm, living hands. Cody, in response, is quick to grab the jedi's wrists, he lingers but ultimately decides to pry them away - missing the warmth but believing it is better that way.
"I don't want to hurt you...general“, his voice is merely a whisper and the thought of actually hurting and loosing Obi-wan all over again breaks the clone.
Maybe Cody should have agreed to being send back into active duty, whatever that implied, then he would not have to deal with his own emotions, the raging fear of harming the only person he ever loved with such intensity.
Cody has committed atrocities yet Obi-wan, with his heart of pure gold, looks at him with a smile, his gorgeous eyes - tired, pleading - filled with nothing but fondness.
The jedi wiggles his hands free from Cody and moves to close the clone into a hug instead, one hand on his back the other gripping at the back of his head, sinking into Cody's dark curls.
Part of Cody still screams, part of Cody doesn't trust this to be real. Just another one of his nightmares for sure. He's gonna wake up in moment, alone.
But the moments pass and he's still here surrounded by warmth and the smell he has missed for so long. The smell of comfort. Of home.
"Darling“, he hugs the clone tighter and Cody finally regains control of his own limbs enough to cling to Obi-wan in return, “I have been searching for you for so long", Cody can hear the despair in Obi-wan's voice and once again curses himself for being the source of it, "hoping you were not under the countless who lost their life because, dear“, Obi-wan moves away a bit to really look at the clone, tears visible in both their eyes now, “I will not let them or yourself destroy you any further", funny how after everything the general still knew him so we'll.
"Cody...I found a place we can be safe, the two of us“.
And Cody, former commander of the 212th, battle hardened and bred to withstand almost everything, falls to his knees crying in front of the jedi, his jedi.
It feels good. He feels free.
Safe.
Yes, he will keep them safe.
Kriff the programming, it is long due time to make his own decisions.
"I would love to follow you there“.
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Astro Observations / Is it healthy to release anger?
DISCLAIMER : I’m not a professional. These information as well as the astro observations are based on my perspective of my observation. It doesn’t have to resonate with everyone. I’m simply sharing my thoughts and feel free to share yours!
CONTAINS MENTION OF SU!CIDE/S#LF HARM.
Anger not only as an emotion but also as an expression is deemed unhealthy when expressed, yet it needs to be released without getting repressed. How to release anger healthily when your mind doesn’t align with your actions nor words when anger is overwhelming you? How do you stop a tsunami.
Releasing it as you start to feel, instead of repressing it in you long enough to explode later is a difficult practice to make a habit. Understanding how energy works for you helps you to think of ways to release it. How one person expresses or deals with anger is not the same or default for everyone. I believe astrology to help point out or show on the overview what energy each placement might produce which influences you. Depending on your chart you’ll know to what extent the energy might be significant.
It’s important to understand how not just one specific placement tells you about your anger as a whole but instead each placement work together to give out the energy. And this energy is yours to modify, it can be modified only when one has the self-awareness to identify and is able to understand how to tune your energy to your liking and healthily.
First step is to know/be aware how you release your anger.
I’ve noted down few placements based on my observation in real life. Take what resonates since everyone’s chart is unique to their own.
Observations :
Gemini Moon w Leo Mars : They get triggered quite easily but only on issues that matters to them or if it’s regarding them. If there’s a Capricorn placement, they need respect. And that eventually turns into their ego and when someone tries to disrespect them it triggers them. With Gemini and Leo involved they say shit they don’t mean and say things well aware it’ll hurt people. They usually throw curses at others for example like ‘d!e’ ‘ky$’ but obviously they don’t mean it and say it on the flow. They don’t have control over their mouth.
Aquarius/Pisces mars in 12th House : These placements on the contrary, when they throw curses they direct it at themselves. They’ll say for example ‘I’ll go km$’ ‘K!ll me’ and so on. They usually repress their anger (sometimes they’re oblivious to the fact they’re repressing) to the point it explodes on themselves as well the other person. And later when they cooldown they usually act like it never happened or forgive the other person or feel guilty about exploding.
Mars conjuct Uranus : I’ve noticed when they explode during arguments they harm themselves by hitting themselves or throw objects. And sometimes they take out the excess anger left in their body on themselves by s@lf-h@rm.
Aries Mars : During arguments they do have explosive anger but people might not take them seriously or think it’s a measly tantrum. which triggers them more when their anger is not validated.
Libra Mars : I think it’s a theme with air mars. They’re usually calm but once their limit is tested they really say things that hit like knives and sometimes they mean it. They’re cold when mad.
Mercury square Uranus (or north node in 3rd house/aspecting mercury): stutter or really cannot verbalize their anger properly, they’re mind doesn’t coordinate with their mouth and they end up sometimes saying things that don’t make sense. They’re brain is a wreck when they get mad and it exhausts them.
These observations don’t have to resonate with you since it depends on other placements/aspects in a chart as well as different types of charts!
How you use your awareness on your actions really depends on your mental capacity of whether you want to make changes or ready to make them. It’s important to take your time to analyze yourself (healthy analyzing) and somewhere along the line you’ll eventually know how to deal with your anger, better with each time. It’s a lot of trial and errors and sometimes it’ll feel like you’re back at the start which is why acknowledging your growth is equally important to remind you of the significant changes you’ve made on dealing with anger.
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S4 spoilers and S4 special spoilets
I'm so sorry to all my rottmnt followers (and acrohite) but like I need to talk about this
(and sorry for poor grammar, spelling and or paragraphing)
CAN WE PLS TALK ABOUT MK'S MONKEY FORM
FIRSTLY How he transforms, which seems to be strong emotions. In S4 he transformed after ink mk taunted him about his mistakes, making him angry and self loathing.
He also transformed after azure lion criticized him. Both called him out of control and a harbringer of chaos in some way (to my knowledge I have only been able to watch it once :[)
AND in the S4 special he seemed out of control, destroying everything. Even goddamn SWK was concerned. He was pretty much about to kill Azure Lion, taunting him aswell and saying how much of a horrible person he was. He was obviously hurt and angry and his monkey form seemed to be a culmination of all of those things
Just like steven's powers from SU, I think MK's powers, or at least monkey form, are emotion based. You probably already picked this up but I NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT
I think future season r going to be about him learning to handle his emotions and, thus, monkey form.
Maybe that's why he was so scared of it????
TELL ME UR IDEAS IN THE COMMENTS I NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa
#mk lmk#lmk#lego monkie kid#lmk s4 spoilers#lmk s4 special spoilers#lmk s4 special#lmk season 4#lmk spoilers
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Haven't I given Enough? ‖Pt. 1‖ Albert Wesker x Reader
Angst (??) AU, Nameless/genderless reader, however this is very much self indulgent (was gonna be an OC/self insert at first) Shorter than I intended but I got too excited for other fics and wanted to get this one out ^u^'
Wesker had revealed a brainwashed Jill, an already heavy situation on Chris' shoulders even before being attacked by his partner. Even fight his ass. Chris and Sheva practically got thrown around the chamber ruins. There was no use in shooting at either of them as it turned more into a waste of bullets.
"Seven minutes is all I can spare." Wesker shook his head, disappointed but motivated to do his absolute worst to Chris. This, however, only told the BSAA member that he had to survive those seven minutes.
Chris' eyes went wide as he saw another familiar figure dive in front of him. His heart was pounding.
"What the hell is this Wesker?!" He roared.
"Don't you recognize your old STARS members?" Wesker tutted, "Or is it that you were only coming here for Jill?"
Chris appeared as though he had been slapped. Sheva glanced at her partner before aiming intently at Wesker.
"We'll be taking both of them." She sounded certain, though her confidence was somewhat lacking. The mastermind picked up on it quickly, a slight chuckle leaving his usually pursed mouth.
"I'm afraid that won't be possible. However, I'm on a time limit and feeling generous, you may choose one. Choose who to reject my cure and choose who becomes a God." It was cruel, just as he had always been cruel. As he had casted aside his old team for the power he gained as an ally to the Umbrella Corporation.
"No.. No I can't choose, what kind of a sick joke is this?!" Chris snarled. His anger only made his old Captain laugh.
"It's no joke, Chris. Now Choose, lest I change my mind."
The cold eyes of the brainwashed peered piercingly at Chris. Neither showing any emotion. Could they hear him? Could they understand what was happening? He hoped not, hoped he could save one now and return for the other.
Chris looked hopelessly between the two, before sighing in defeat.
"I choose Jill."
•••
The pain in your chest had spiked . Wesker smirked at Chris as he stepped towards the two. Putting a firm hand on your shoulder while using the other to increase Jill's intake of the p30 drug. You only caught a glimpse of her as she screamed and writhed in pain before Wesker escorted you into the elevator.
"I suppose you expected more from the loyal Chris Redfield." He kept the grip on your shoulder. You thought he was upset about losing one of his experiments but there was something... different.
The moment he had spoken the words, it sunk in that you had been left, given up, and in that moment you couldn't separate the idea of what Chris said from Wesker's betrayal all those years ago.
Whatever dull pain you felt from the mind control drug was nothing compared to this. Your vision became blurry as tears welled in your eyes. Wesker seemed intrigued by the reaction, how were you able to show emotion even while under control. Just as the elevator doors opened, his hand twitched in his pocket and you could feel the sudden administration of p30 right into your chest. Like Jill you screamed, stumbling out of the elevator and hitting the rail that kept you from falling off the side of a cliff. Wesker merely followed, watching with interest as you managed to open your suit and claw at what looked like a bug on your chest.
"Resistance is futile." He laughed coolly, upping the dosage further. Yet this didn't have the effect he intended.
Another shriek racked through you, this time a name,
"CHRIS!!"
Your fingers dug under the apparatus as you saw red whilst ripping it from your body. You threw it at Wesker's feet before collapsing. He took note that it wasn't a cry of pity.
"Impressive." Wesker muttered, removing his glasses. "But I'm afraid that was for nothing. I'll simply reapply the device."
"No.. you won't.." you coughed, your hand finding the rail and using it as support as you stood up.
"And why is that?" His eyes remained fixated on you.
"You don't need a drug to get me on your side... I've always admired you, Albert, the Captain of the STARS Alpha team... Until you betrayed all of us.."
"You're beginning to sound like Chris." He remarked dryly.
"Chris doesn't understand... I saw you before Jill tackled you. Where he saw destruction I saw renewal, a cure, a god." Your words rang neatly in his ears, a perfect reflection of his own. Perhaps you were messing with him, trying to stall to escape later.
"Why should I believe you."
"Because I want Uroburos. I want to feel what it's like to be a god. Excella wants you for the money, maybe even the sex—" he raised an eyebrow but you went on, "I want the world."
A smile graced his face, twisted and ambitious as he scooped you up in his arms.
"Then you shall have it."
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Why were Tikki and Plagg’s goodbyes different?
In "Transmission", after Plagg and Tikki take back the miraculous and free Marinette and Adrien from the burden of their hero lives, their goodbyes to their now former holders are noted to be similar yet different to one another. In short, their goodbyes were different because what they experienced with their holders was different. Tikki said she will never forget Marinette as she was by far the most amazing holder she had grown to understand and connect with.
Leaving Marinette was hard for Tikki not only because she grew attached to her, but because Tikki herself had realized Marinette helped her do something she never thought she could do, learn. Since the moment Tikki came into Marinette's life, Tikki took her duty as a kwami very seriously and ensured that Marinette could be properly informed of her duties as a hero.
If Marinette had questions, Tikki was always there to answer to the best of her years upon years of knowledge . When Marinette was nervous and unwilling to accept her new duty as a hero, she would always be there to try and lead Marinette in the right direction and help her take a chance to try and save the day, each and every time something shocking came her way.
When Marinette fell prey to her own confusion and began to act out in ways that made her attempt to solve problems which did not need solving, Tikki acted as the one who ensured Marinette could hear the reality of her situation when no one else was around to tell her so.
It was normal for Tikki to be a mature Kwami and act as the voice of reason to ensure her holders would learn and develop the confidence they needed, but in all her years, Tikki never knew she could learn from Marinette as well. In "Dearest Family", Tikki learned the power of self control from Marinette to not allow her cravings for sweets take the better of her and lead her to lose control of herself and her powers.
When it came to love, Tikki learned that despite not being capable of experiencing such an emotion (since kwamis can’t fall in love), watching Marinette struggle to accomplish success in her love life made Tikki realize that love was genuinely something other living beings valued deeply, but that love could very easily empower or destroy a person.
(In “Elation”, Tikki watches Marinette break down as she struggles to find a solution to her presumably unattainable love life)
In “Furious Fu”, when Su-Han demanded Marinette give back the box and the miraculous, Tikki agreed to follow Su-Hans every word without question, why?, because abiding by the guardians authoritative ways was all she ever knew she should follow. However, thanks to Marinette standing up to Su Han so many times, Tikki learned you do not need to abide by the book, change was a good thing, and learning to adapt and stray away from what was traditional was often times necessary and better for the changing times.
(Su-Han explains that Kwamis have been managed with extreme authority due to the nature of their powers)
However, unlike Tikki, when Plagg says his goodbye, he instead says that Adrien will never forget him, it was a peculiar goodbye, but looking back on the series, its understandably why Plagg said such words. A large part of Plagg and Adrien's relationship revolved around the two of them obtaining a sense of freedom from each other, a freedom which was restricted to them as a result of who they were viewed as.
Plagg had always been accustomed to causing destruction on his own, eventually, his rebellious nature prompted the order of the guardians to consider him as the only kwami to never be left alone in fear of what destruction he could cause next should he ever accomplish to evade not only them, but whatever holder he was entrusted to.
(Master Fu’s reaction to Plagg wanting to go off alone to help Ladybug in “Style Queen”, as well as Su Hans alarmed and concerned reaction to Plagg not being present with the other kwamis in “Furious Fu”, reveals that Plagg had a complicated reputation among the guardians if and whenever he obtained a moment of freedom.)
Even when he became Adrien’s kwami, Plagg’s experience with others trying to keep him within a close proximity, had prompted Plagg to believe Adrien was still someone he would need to evade if needed. In “Sandboy”, Plagg could not accept the possibility that Adrien would trust him enough to leave his side for the night to attend the kwamis gathering. As a result, Plagg created a sock version of himself in order to fool Adrien so he could have the chance to slip away and return undetected.
However, seeing just how much trust Marinette was willing to give Tikki, regardless of her mistakes, made Plagg realize that their standing with their new holders was much different than those of the past. Plagg had grown attached to Adrien the more he realized how alike they were, but more than that, unlike the guardians, Plagg appreciated that Adrien was more than willing to allow him to do whatever he wanted.
There were of course some boundaries Plagg had to abide by to not cause a potential disaster like in "Rogercop", but regardless, not once had Adrien made him feel as the kwami who needed to be locked away. Adrien explained to Plagg that he knows what its like to have ones freedom be taken away since he is viewed by his father, and many others, as someone who should be constantly sheltered and restrained from the outside world, preventing him from experiencing the wonders of being free to explore the world and his own life. As a result, and just like with Tikki and Marinette, Plagg had become loyal to Adrien and ensured he could learn to express and act out on his own rebellious nature rather than just sit idly by and continue to be someone else’s well behaved puppet.
(In “Party Crasher”, Plagg once again tries to persuade Adrien to consider himself by inviting Friends over while his father is out of town)
Adrien’s rebellious nature was something he could not easily express in his civilian form due to the high expectations his father, and everyone else, had of him. His fears of disappointing and potentially hurting others who were willing to love him, restrained him from properly speaking his mind, but ever since Plagg came into his life, Adrien gradually learned to be just as sneaky and mischievous in order to try and accomplish what he wanted for once.
Some attempts succeeded, such as in "Party Crasher", when Adrien decided to take the risk and have friends over, while others led to consequences, such as in "Megaleech" when his father showed disapproval and anger for Adrien's willingness to join the protest against "Project Oxygen". However, although Plagg is greatly known for being reckless, rebellious and oftentimes arrogant, given the consequences Adrien faced in the past from Gabriel, even Plagg understood Adrien would need to tread carefully if he were to ever defy his father directly.
(In “Risk”, Plagg was worried of the situation Adrien was about to start with his father. Confronting his father would be no easy matter given how difficult he was to talk to in previous situations)
But regardless of the outcomes Adrien faced, both good or bad, those moments made Adrien learn more about himself none the less, and made him realize that many peoples (mainly his father) demands and expectations of him were unfair and unjust. These emotions of his gradually built up over time until finally, they surfaced all at once in “Risk”.
Plagg understood Adrien's way of life was unfair, and even though Adrien knew this as well, such talks would often be kept between just the two of them in fear that no one else would truly understand him, just like how he felt no one would understand his complaining in “Risk” about not wanting to go on the world trip his father arranged.
However, thanks to Marinette, Adrien understood it was perfectly healthy for him to have feelings which would otherwise break the image of perfection others had of him. Those like Marinette, who knew and loved him, would be willing to understand his circumstances if he took the chance to speak out.
And so, when Plagg said that Adrien will never forget him, Plagg had expressed that although he will no longer be a part of Adrien’s life, he knew Adrien would never forget the time they spent, the trouble they made, the freedom he obtained from being Cat Noir, and the impact he had being with someone like Plagg who wasn’t afraid to take his own happiness into consideration. Plagg showed Adrien he always had it in him to stray from the line that was drawn for him by those who believed knew him, all he needed to finally stray from his original way of life was a push from Risk and the right motivation to keep him going and not go back to the way things were, that motivation being of course, Marinette.
#miraculous ladybug#miraculous tales of ladybug and chat noir#tales of ladybug and cat noir#thomas astruc#ml s5 spoilers#mlb s5 spoilers#mlb s5 analysis#marinette dupain cheng#ml ladybug#adrien agreste#ml cat noir#ml transmission#ml transmission analysis#ml kwamis choice analysis#ml deflegration#ml deflegration analysis#ml Plagg#ml Tikki#gabriel agreste#ml monarch
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I am about halfway through season 1 of Steven Universe and...it's not bad, per se, it just seems to be designed to create reaction GIFs from, in the same way that 80s cartoons were designed to make toys out of. So I am somewhat confused on how this became, like, the show people were talking about, for years, and left behind a drama crater the size of the Minoan Eruption. So I would like your thoughts, opinions, forbidden knowledge on this subject, any of it (saying "ask again when you've finished the show" is also okay).
Things will get much more clear as time goes on, and its hard to say in detail what I think the problem is without spoiling things, but I think I can address a problem with media literacy around kidvid, and I can use She-Ra to talk about some similar issues without spoiling SU.
There's a spectrum of how genre fiction approaches its fantastical elements, largely in how much of the events reflect the realities of the world-building, and how much they're not actually about real world things. It's the simulated reality VS the allegorical playground, and nothing is really all of one and none of the other.
Kidvid, no matter what else it is about, or how well constructed its world-building, is almost always about the the emotional realities of the target audience. This pretty much has to happen as that’s what aiming a show at children means. This is even true for the Advert-Toons of the 80s and 90s.
The core GI-Joe fantasy, according to the showrunners, was he comforting idea that if you’re in trouble, you’ll have a big squad of friends to back you up. Cobra is “a ruthless terrorist organization determined to rule the world” but they’re actually just the jerky kids on the playground that fight about who is boss, bully other kids, and don’t share. You aren’t supposed to take the supervillainy seriously, it’s just there to be an exciting adventure... in short:
“By the time reinforcements show up, your mom should be waiting for you in the bus turnaround”
But cartoons have gotten more sophisticated since then (on average, there’s always been gems) and so have their allegories. One need only compare old and new She-Ra for that. This is, overall good, and the kids are largely going to like it and be done well by it, as they’re interacting with it on its intended level.
It’s real easy to overlook the doomsday devices or the existential nightmare of a mind control scheme when the allegory is about good play vs bad play. Nobody is going to put together a sincere think-piece about OG Shadow Weaver being a war criminal, and thus unworthy of being offered redemption in the old series.
There will, however, be stronger feelings about Shadow Weaver from the New She-Ra, as her allegory is “abusive gas-lighting mother figure.” The show recognizes this, and so her turnaround had to come with a self-sacrifice.
Entrapta, on the other hand, is an allegorical kid, like the rest of the princesses. She represents the audience in the same way the other girls do. Her misdeeds are often seen as unforgivable acts of near-genocide, and while that is factually true, in-universe, in the story, in the emotional reality of the tale as intended for the audience, the whole planet-quake thing is representative of a screw-up. A screw up that feels so big that it seems like you’ve destroyed the world.
For an adult audience seeing the events only as in-story actions, that’s not the kind of mistake you can come back from. But if you’re a kid that’s ever done something that caused a lot of harm you didn’t intend, you know that feeling. If you’re a kid who made a small mistake and has rejection dysphoria (something kids who relate to Entrapta might deal with) you know what that feels like. And the idea that such a mistake is recoverable is essential.
The recent shows aren’t entirely blameless. They make mistakes in how they present their allegories from time to time, because they’re human shows written by human beings. But largely, its the friction between a genre cartoon trying to address a big emotional reality and a big constructed fantasy world together, and the cross-bleed causing problems with the communication of both, at least in the case of its adult audience.
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I just freakin adore how Marinette managed to stand up for herself more in this season and despite her self-blaming never stopped she knows how to defend herself and knows how to sort things out and make difference what bad and what good things and people are and how her emotions evolved and how she's learning so much and everything I just love how developed her feelings are and how she can control them (not fully but she's trying guys she's still trying to think with her head first and heart second) and how this is both great and sad because a 14-year-old is not supposed to know so much already and IS supposed to spend the next two years collecting stickers and napkins and eat candies and have fun and she should be emotional - seriously us girls know how rough this age was emotionally - but she left me taken aback this season with her emotional struggle and how it's not at all as big as it used to be - she knows to judge both other people and herself when something goes wrong. Like how she takes no shit from Su-Han anymore and how she was mad at Alya and Nino, and how she does blame herself for Strikeback now but she doesn't make herself a victim even though she is she wants to know Adrien better because she doesn't want her feelings to be shallow and how she is (I already mentioned this two times already but it's so goddamn important) Lila's friend in public SHE'S DOING EVERYTHING IN HER POWER GUYS AND NO ONE TAUGHT HER HOW TO DEAL WITH STUFF GUYS NO ONE SHE IS LEARNING AS SHE GOES SHE IS THE ONLY PERSON MAKING THESE DECISIONS AND SHE'S SO GOOD. And my favourite thing about her is that she is always trying so hard to make things better whatever happens it's so amazing I love her so much. She doesn't deserve to be like this so young it's not fair but the way she is carrying it is amazing and honestly everyone who says she's not a good role model for young girls can suck it.
Literally the more I watch and the more I find out about this season I love her more and she literally has the biggest and most complex character development in the show and no one is talking about it. She inspired me so much one day I had a rough day at work and I cried for the rest of the day and I remembered her and I said to myself "Marinette would cry but she wouldn't give up and would give her all the next day and would keep fighting if animated child and handle loss so well so can you" she was the first person I thought about and I learned more from her than any other superhero ever and I know a lot of them. Literally both of her so-called mentors were useless as fuck when it comes to emotional burden the superhero life would bring her and no one prepared her for this and every season she is more unhinged but she's also more grown up and if she can get traumatised so often and learn a lesson to move on and become an even better person so can all of us. She's the best superhero for a reason.
#She legit doesn't get praised enough guys look at her#miraculous ladybug#marinette dupain cheng#Ladybug#Marinette sugar#Ladybug sugar#ml analysis
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Cults, apocalypse, and death - chainsawman theorycrafting
This I'd not a yoshida = death devil theory I promise
TOC
-Notes - Must read
-Organization? Thats kinda sus.
-Y2K is back in style!?
-Yoshida p1
-YO-SHI-DA?
-Death doesn't knock
-Contracts
-Yoshida p2, Fake saw edition
-Conclusion
Important notes :
- this was made BEFORE 121
-Im referring to death as they for this. Though I think they will be female for a few reasons that matter for the story.
-This theory has 2 split sections when it comes to the orginization mostly because the end point is the same either way. But it's still different.
-Also, apologies if this is messy. It's my first full meta, and its gathered by rants I had with my brother. And I lost the draft for this.. 2 times so.
A lot of this theory is riding off of this one ; please give it a read. By u/domilea
To summarize, though. All 4 horsemen desire a specific type of love. Conquest desires familial connection, War desires romantic love. Famine desires self-love, and death desires the love of humanity. These desires tie in directly to there powers, while they feed off of fears. They also feed off secondary emotions, being the ones santa listed as the only emotions a human needs.
Conquest - Worship, controls those below her. She desires familial love, something between equals, which by nature she couldn't have due to her need to be above.
×
War - Guilt, weaponizes this feeling by using objects or people. She desires Love, or romantic affection.
×
Famine - Admiration, Gives humans power without being paid for the contract, Wants to be able to love herself without external validation.
×
Death - Pity, Powers unknown, their our mantle piece for this post so we will get to them. Later
So this theory serves to answers a few things
-Yoshida : Who is he, what does he want, what does his organization want?
-Death : who are they, what do they want.
- fakesawman (impostor for short purposes) - who are they what do they want.
Yoshida
Yoshidas is a weird guy. In his return in part 2, he reintroduces himself, stating how he's a part of an organization tasked with protecting denjis identity. Also, he would be creepily stating he would use force if he needed to. Following that conversation, he seemingly stalks denji and tries to set him up with Asa to no avail.
In part 1 he also remarks on being a 3rd rate devil hunter although he's quirky corrected by kishibe as being overly humble. He also says being hit by quanxi later on would kill him. But this is seemingly untrue.
He comes off as dishonest at best and incredibly fake at worst. It's almost similar to makima but somehow even more mysterious.
And of course, the odd mention of death later in the aquarium.
I say odd because besides makima, yoru, and Kiga. Nobody has mentioned a primordial fear, let alone a horseman. We could just play this off as a weird coincidence, though. Besides that, mentioning chainsaw mans erasure ability is incredibly strange. He would have had to learn this from somewhere. It's not easily available information. But even then, I doubt he was told by kishibe despite being public safety. Sense kishibe is both MIA and not one to readily give up information. So where else did he get it?
Orginization
Like mentioned earlier. He brinng up this mystery group while on his date with denji. And that their not evil, quote the contrary, as they want denji to live a peaceful life. As such, keep his identity a secret. Which is odd sense they seemingly dont really connect. Even if denji revealed his identity to the world, what would that change? People after chainsawmans heart were able to hunt him down easily before. Knowing his name and face wouldn't change all that much beyond make his life more of a hassle. But why do they care?
I believe that the organization doesn't care. Not about denji specfically anyway. dont even think the organization is as big or organized as yoshidas claiming. To being able to slip under public safetys nose, especially makima's, is strange. If they were a segment of public safety or the government, Im unsure why they would stay hidden up to now. Especially as during international assasians, their goals would have aligned. That is assuming that this group wasnt formed between parts 1 and 2 which seems impossible as it's only been a few months at best.
So, I dont think this group actually seeks to help denji. Rather somethings in it for them. Denji revealing his identity would be actively harmful to them or whatever they seek to do.
So, what would denji's reveal cause beyond denjis hope for fame?
Route 1 . Or the simple one
The organization is run by kishibe and allies to prevent a makima esk situation from ever occurring again. Specfically the prevention of the apocalypse Denji revealing his identity would fuck this up as it would give and potential horsemen a path right to chainsawman.
Route 2. The complicated, long one.
It would demolish public fear for starters. Alot of chainsawmans current fear is backed on the worry's and fear of the what if's surrounding his identity. The rumors, the lies, the damage hes capable of. Learning hes some high school boy, makes him a whole less scary.
Theres 3 other reasons I think organization wants denjis identity secret
1.) Keep chainsawman in his current power strength for.. Something.
2.) the fear of chainsawman is fueling something else. Its not a reach to say devils in similar veins are fueled by the same general fear (bomb & nuclear bombs, Katana & knife, Spider & bug).
We know chainsawman was quite the icon in hell, having his own followers in hell. And seemingly now in the real world within the student council. Yoshida himself also refers to himself as a fan while talking to asa.
I believe this mystery orginization are also fans. Real followers of him, in the same way makima idolized him, and adored him to obsession. While makima wanted him for her own goals, I believe this group truly idolizes him. And like the followers from Hell and makima, they want to start the day of reckoning
What the fuck is the day of reckoning?
The apocalypse
The details of how to do this are murky. But from makimas attempt we can tell you need chainsawman, specfically his heart I assume and his angels. I think a third requirment exists though.
The precense of the apocalypse. Fuji has alreayd repedebly touched on the horsemen so its logical to assume at some point they will start the apocalypse. Especially sense our heroine of the part seeks to retrieve the nuclear war devil and wage a war.
For this day of reckoning It would make sense for a horsemen, or multiple to be present. The more the worse the apocalyptic event. Sense each horsemen simply represents a "factor" of the end. Which also makes me think them coming together is the apocalypse itself, or the trigger. Who knows.
That's brings reason 3.) For keeping denjis identity "secret" they want to use him as bait. Bait to draw the horsemen out and together. Making the hunt less difficult.
If we refrence the bible, as chainsawman has done on multiple occasions ; Before the Last Judgment, all will be resurrected. Those who were in purgatory will have already been purged, meaning they would have already been released into heaven, and so like those in heaven and hell will resurrect with their bodies.
So id assume doing this would, literally, open the door to hell and revive the devils from hell, causing a ammerganion, judgment day-esk situation
Ironically enough if we look at a timeline
(U/SkinFlower on reddit for the visual) part 2 is placed,, just in time for Y2K. A historic event I doubt fujimoto would look over. Meaning fear over the apocalypse. The end. *death* would be at a drastic increase only getting worse over time. Possibly making death at their strongest state. And, with 3/4 horsemen already on earth in close proximity. What would be a better time to start the apocalypse.
But I hear you. What kind of seemingly humans would want to start the apocalypse? Simple. A group that believes that doing so would be virtuous. Or benefit them and the rest of humanity. A doomsday cult-esk situation in which they believe doing so would 'assend' them or bring them to their God. Or I suppose in this situation their hero. And by relation death. I'll explain further, but first;
YO-SHI-DA?
It seems the popular theory at the moment is that yoshida is death. I initially agreed, sense this theory in particular has been in the works sense,, around the fight with yuko. But as I sat down to write it l down and time passed. I found it not adding up both from a meta perspective and in universe
1.)It wouldnt make sense motivation wise. Protecting denjis identity. Suggesting denji eating him. Keeping tabs on denji. Its confusing if he is death. What would he be gaining from it?
2.)His powers wouldn't make much sense. Octopi don't have any sort of connotations with death particularly. And so far powers have been sticking very closely to their theme.
3.) Makima not recognizing him and requesting him is weird. While this could go both ways (requesting because she knows he's death) I doubt it.
4.)The earrings is a lackadaisical argument. Majority of characters in CSM have some sort of earrings.
5.)"He looked at famine" This is one of the comments that holds more weight but I don't think he knows her because there siblings or something. Family didnt seem to know him either.
6.)Death has never died, Obviously. If they are indeed a primordial fear anyways. They would have to be in hell currently.
7.) It would be painfully obvious. Fuji's not always one for subtly but its almost so obvious I think its just a red herring.
Death Doesn't knock
I believe death and pochita use to be friends or allies of some sort. It would make sense. Death would benefit directly from the fear caused by pochitas chaos. And I guess at some point they had a falling out. To keep the religious themes going fuji seems fond of. think Lucifer & God's situation. Kicking off the battle between the horsemen and the hero of hell.
Its been a while but lets recall that death's emotion is pity(one of the only emotions a human can have, symbolized by a dead fox according to santa.) One from watching humanity suffer, A suffering that can only end in death And she depends on their suffering to live. What a conflicting dilema. And despite Their apparent rivarly. Imagine death's opinion on a being like themself who also cannot die yet still suffers? And despite this pity and love, empathy for humanity and others. death cannot be with humanity without harming them. She cannot comfort them. She can never express her love without fear. Instead their stuck watching this continous cycle of death and suffering around them. Especially in their own sisters. Atleast famine and Yoru considered them family(despite makima & yorus apparent grudge). Unlike death, Makima Yoru and Kiga CAN die and be on earth for who knoes how long, leaving death behind until they return and are killed in hell again. Over and over. Unable to help. Unable to do anything. Trapped in hell forever. That would drive anyone crazy don't you think?
If death wishes to end suffering, there would be a way for death to both end human suffering and their own lonely existence. Start the apocalypse, end humanitys suffering by killing them all, death included. And end the cycle once and for all.
Or forcing chainsawman to eat her and her sisters without killing humanity. Forcing them to be cursed with immortality. Both work. The reason I'm more hesitant on this option, however, is it's repetitve with makimas' original goal.
The method to do this would be to gather her sisters up, fight chainsawman, take his heart, And then start the apocalypse.
To do this, death used a proxy on earth. As far as we can tell, hell, the devil can go back and forth between hell and earth. And seemingly works with the darkness devil. So I don't see why death couldn't. The reason for them not going themself, of course, is poor timing. Similar to gun devil, death being on earth would be call for disaster. Which isnt quite the goal.
So, using a proxy death aimed to gather followers of chainsawman, if it's route 2. convicing them of the plan and how it would allow them to be with their "hero". (Or immortality. )And have them gather everything needed. Including; their sisters
Or if the group is akin to route 1. It's similar. Just them being more mislead then anything.
This plan, and them being the cults "leader" would explain yoshida making terms with death. But wait.. How are they even communicating with death if their still in hell? As seen with the hell devil, such is possible with a contract. So what contract?
Contracts and such
Enter the eldritch, chaos, unknown, or lovecraftian devil. Pick your poison. It doesn't matter really. Or what I believe to be yoshidas real contract.
Chainsawman is a very inherently lovecraftian story. something i want to write about later. But i think yoshida being contracted with the "eldritch" devil of sorts makes sense. Specfically one based on nyaelathotep, a devil worshipped by the orginization mentioned previously, or one that is captured.
Nya is described as so ;
tall swarthy man
Nyarlathotep as "evilly intelligent
nocturnal, tentacled, bat-winged monster
Nyarlathotep seems to serve these cults and take care of the deities' affairs in their absence
Aswell as a shapeshifter (depending on who is telling the story.)
Sound familair?
Within lovecrafts works Nyarlathotep serve the cults of the outergods take care of the deities' affairs in their absence. More or less serving as their messenger, or, a spy.
Beyond amusment or wanting to assist one of the horsemen as one of their "allies" (similar to wars weapons) Yoshida could have also contracted them via a ritual of sorts
Or them simplying liking him for one reason or another (which seems more likely by the way yoshisa uses them freely)
Basically being death's proxy would also make the "evidence" of him being death still make sense.
Yoshida part 2 : Imposter amongus
While preventing chainsawman from getting axed by one of our apocolyptic femne fatales I think yoshida has a secondary goal is to find the horsemen and keep a eye on them once they revealed themselves
Putting himself as our antagonist (for now.) A mirror of makima for asa. As hes directly in the way of asa and yorus goals. As I mentioned earlier though, I don't think he's actually an 'antagonist'. To yoru and asa? Maybe. Especially if we continue the theming of shadowing part 1 with its arcs (prolouge, bat, eternity).
But to denji, no. Even if the organization turns out as crazy as I expect. Like I said, I think he's morally gray. And I don't think he's being entirely dishonest, despite how apathetic and untrustworthy he tends to come off. And like apathetic morally gray anti-heros tend to be ; he is probably our fakesawman
Yea that came out of nowhere didnt it.
Referring back to the contract theory, hypothetically it should allow him to shapeshift and even if that's wrong. Octopus are famous for camo anyway. It would also explain why is arms are bleeding. Because hes simply mimicing. Its not actually his power. But why would he do this, Simple. Vigilante justice to keep the public (and devils) afraid and on their toes while giving denji down time. Especially if he's apart a group that believes they are upholding some sort of delusional "justice".
-It could also be that yuko was a active threat. To both denjis "peaceful life" and denjis identity.
-It could also be something against justice specfically. Beyond his own personal seemingly lack of morals (in part 1 claiming he didn't care about what happened as long as he was paid.) It could also be that justice stands in his and the organizations way. Causing chaos around the school in a possible attempt to lure out chainsawman. Which could hold more weight if they are indeed working with famine.
-It could also be to rile asa up. Get her to slip up as the war devil so he can confirm her identity. Or get her on his side of taking his heart.
Conclusion
I dont think yoshida is telling the truth fully. And think his story runs alot deeper than we think. Especially the orginization also dont think the theme of apocalypse, war, and csm timeline is a coincidence.
I really like part 2 and I can't wait to see how it progresses.
Death is a running trend in chainsawman obviously, In universe its everywhere. And theres a running theme on how people deal with death. How people grieve.
What they will do to forget,
run away,
Ignore it.
Maybe you can rehabilite the other horsemen like nayuta. But death can not be changed. And what is humanity without death? Its apart of life. Santa asked denji a question that stayed unawnsered. Can you imagine living with death constantly stalking you? Well, he kinda has. This makes confronting death a very interesting dilemma, and her a very interesting antagonist for him to face. Sense the only solution is directly facing them. And even then, I dont think their the final boss. Because sometimes, there are things that are scarier than death.
Or maybe I just need to listen to the song.
#theorycrafting#chainsaw man#chainsawman part 2#death devil#csm yoshida#chainsawman theory#chainsawman meta#csm theory#csm meta#csm horsemen
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