#ella's cursed thoughts
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I think what's destroyed me this episode is the fact that from where Pisaeng turned the ball until now it has all been a dream. Their first time, the years spent together, they won't be the same, they won't be there, they won't exist anymore. That simple happiness is forever gone, unreachable and I think the crystal ball worked this time because Pisaeng would throw it all away just on the chance of Kawi being ok but what comes next? Is it really worth the cost? Will Pisaeng sacrifice it all because of his mistaken sense of guilt?
And what's even worse is this… If you asked Kawi? He would have chosen this all a hundred times and more
#be my favorite#ella's cursed thoughts#I'm gonna rewatch this episode and cry some more#coconuts mafia#pisaengkawi
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can you write something grumpy!42miles x sunshine!reader? where he’s always kinda mean but cares about her but they end up together
this prompt is so cute tysm for the req!!
Word count: About 1,600
Pairing: Grumpy Earth-42! Miles Morales x Sunshine! f! reader
Summary: The line between just classmates and something more is thin. Miles and You seemed to be walking that line.
Warnings: (begrudgingly) friends to lovers, he's a bit mean, fluff, minimal cursing, classmates to lovers, pure fluff, cannot contain the fluff, reader is a little slow, this is short and cute, spanish grammar is not my strong suit
A/N: if i haven't gotten to your request yet, its still a wip but will be posted soon!
_________
You were boisterously laughing. Obnoxiously, even. The guy’s joke wasn’t even that funny.
Miles called your name out with an aggravated tone,
"Would it kill you to shut up for a second?"
You promptly responded, "Would it kill you to lighten up for once?"
He regrets not skipping this class.
That was partially a lie. In reality, he didn’t care for this class at all. He only came to see you. You were one of the few people who put up with him.
Miles and you always sat together during class. "Unassigned assigned seats", you'd call it. But that’s all you were. Seat partners. That was the way it was, and the way it would stay. And he was fine with that, at least he tried to convince himself.
The next day, the seat next to Miles was empty. It hasn’t been empty since the first day you met.
If you asked Miles how you both met, he’d say you forced your way into his life. However, you’d say that you saw through his “cold guy” facade and he opened up his heart to you. He was a good guy if you had the patience. That was only one of the many things he admired about you. Your optimism.
He saw you across the room. You were sitting with someone else. A guy. What was his name again? Miles couldn't recall. That was how irrelevant he was to Miles.
"Is this seat taken?" Miles looked up to the voice that had spoken, hoping it was somehow you. However, as he glanced up, an unfamiliar face was staring at him.
"Nah." He muttered, not sparing her another look.
She introduced herself and told Miles her name, but he wasn't listening. He was listening to your laugh. How could he not? Your laugh was practically drowning out every other voice in the room. At least, that’s how he perceived it.
You were giggling at whatever the guy next to you said. But this time, he wished it was him making you laugh. That guy didn't deserve to hear you laugh, or see you smile.
He couldn't stand your laugh unless he was the cause of it. Miles didn’t pay attention to the lesson that day. He was occupied staring daggers into your back. Yet you never noticed.
You sat next to Miles the day after, as usual. It was an unspoken agreement, and you had broken it the day prior.
Immediately as you sat down, Miles started interrogating you.
"You left me with some random girl to go flirt with that moron? He's a dick." He scoffed at you, nodding his head towards the guy that you left him for yesterday.
Right, like you're not. You thought. "He's really not, he's a good guy!" You defended him and continued, "Plus, your partner was super smart. She was probably more help than I could’ve been.”
"Ella no es tú. What else can I say, ma?" Miles casually said.
You tried to hide your grin but failed as a smile spread across your face. The corner of his lip curled in a small smirk. If you blinked, you would have missed it.
"I’m sorry for 'leaving you', Miles. But don’t worry, I prefer you over him anyway." You smiled brightly at him. And for a second, his stoic heart gleamed.
"I wasn't worried." He grumbled.
"You sure? I mean, whatever you say.” You grinned amusedly at him.
The rest of the class period followed as usual. But this time, before the bell rang, Miles bottled up his dignity to ask you, "Ay ma, wanna hang out after school?"
You raised a skeptical brow at his unusual behavior, "What, you starting to like me now? I thought you couldn't tolerate me." You probed.
Oblivious to you, he does more than just tolerate you. He was growing fond of your presence. He was starting to miss the sound of your giggle echoing within the room when he wasn’t around you.
But he couldn't find the courage to tell you just yet. Instead, he murmured, "I can tolerate you. Out of most of these people in here, anyway."
"I'm kidding. Yeah, I'm down, Miles." You teased him and agreed.
What you didn't know is that your initial question wasn't very far from the truth.
The school day couldn’t have passed any slower. If you were being honest, you were eagerly anticipating spending more time with Miles out of school.
The final bell of the day rang, and Miles held up to his side of the agreement. He met up with you after school.
Walking side-by-side, you asked, "What've you got planned for us today, Miles? You gonna wine and dine me?" you winked at him.
"Maybe another day, mami." He cracked a slight grin as he responded, fond of your antics.
"I'll hold you to that. I've got a better idea, anyway." You said as you heard a familiar song ringing through the atmosphere.
You yanked Miles by his arm and pulled him, "Look, an ice cream truck! I haven't seen one of those in forever. Let's go!"
A rare smile adorned Miles' face. Not that you saw it. You were too busy chasing after the ice cream truck and dragging him along.
You approached the ice cream truck. The ice cream man greeted you, "Hey guys! What can I get for you today?"
Without missing a beat, you said "Hello! Can I get the Spongebob popsicle please?" with a bright smile.
Miles ordered his right after you. "Coming right up!" The ice cream man said. He shortly returned with both your orders in hand.
As you tried to give the owner cash, Miles lowered your hand gently and said, "Let me pay for you." It was more of a demand as he handed cash to the man.
You couldn't contain the surprise that formed on your face. "Really? Thank you, Miles! You didn't have to do that, y’know." You reached up to him and peppered a kiss on his cheek as a token of gratitude. "Nah, I wanted to." He dismisses it with a shrug.
The man gave you both your ice creams and said, "Have a good day!"
"Young love. A beautiful thing to see." The owner of the truck said as you both walked away.
You both sat on a bench surrounded by a garden of blooming flowers. It was quite scenic for Brooklyn. "Miles, look. He only has one eye!" You chuckled as you showed him your popsicle.
Unbeknownst to you, you had ice cream smeared on your face. He leaned in to wipe the corner of your mouth with his thumb, his gaze lingering on your lips. An almost too-intimate action for people who were just "classmates." But you brushed it off as him being friendly for a change.
"You're a mess, mami." He chuckled, shaking his head at you. You ignored how he made your stomach do flips.
Miles had led you to a rooftop that he frequents. It had an incredible view of the sun, despite all the tall buildings encased around you two.
Miles and you spent the rest of the evening together, basking in the presence of one another. You conversed for hours, only realizing the time when the sun started to set. Comfortable moments of silence were exchanged as you watched the sun disappear from the sky, the moon soon replacing it.
“It’s a full moon, isn’t it just beautiful?” You admired the moon as it shone down on the sullen streets of Brooklyn.
"Yeah, It is." He replied, but he wasn't looking at the moon. If you had just turned your head, you'd realize the true meaning of his words. He hadn't even noticed the moon. His eyes were fixated on you instead. He believed that the moon couldn't even hold a candle to you.
"Why haven't we done this before, Miles? I enjoyed hanging out with you today." You felt harmonious with him for once, laying your head against his shoulder as you studied his face.
"I did too, princesa. Maybe I will just wine and dine you someday." Miles said with a smirk, gazing down into your eyes with a borderline smitten expression.
A lightbulb suddenly enlightened your brain. You mentally banged your head against a wall. How could you be so naive to not realize it sooner?
You broke the tension in the air and raised your head to look into his eyes. "Is this a date? You know, people that are 'just' classmates don't go on dates." You told him cheekily.
Could he not have made it more obvious? He paused for a moment and said, “I don’t want to be just classmates.”
“So you want to be best friends? Great! Me too." You grinned, feigning naivety.
His face immediately dropped as he facepalmed himself. "Dios mío, no. That's not what I meant. Never mind, olvídalo." He said, shaking his head.
You beamed at him and laced your fingers with his. “I’m just messing with you, Miles. I like you too. In case you haven't noticed."
He sighed of relief as he lifted your entwined hands to press a soft kiss to the back of your hand. You stayed in each other's embrace for the rest of the night.
From that day forward, you never broke the unspoken agreement ever again. And Miles never had to worry about you associating with another douche again. Excluding himself.
You walked into class hand-in-hand the next day. The following days, as well. That's the way it was, and that's the way it would stay. And both of you were content with that.
_________
ella no es tú - she's not you
dios mío - my god
olvídalo - forget it
princesa - princess
#earth 42 miles morales x reader#miles morales x reader#across the spiderverse#into the spider verse#jealousy#miles morales spider man#miles morales x y/n#miles morales x you#prowler miles#spider man#earth 42#prowler miles morales#prowler!miles x reader#miles morales prowler#prowler!miles#miles morales#friends to lovers
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‘ EVEN BEST FRIENDS HAVE SECRETS! , suguru getō.
𖦹 — featuring . . . perv! getō x f! bimbo! reader
# % !! synopsis . . . est. 2.0k wc + trying hard to study and be just like your older brother, it gets quite difficult, but a close sorcerer is always more than happy to help an idiotic girl...
# % !! warnings . . . sws + dub con (?), secert sex, risky public sex, cunnlingus (getō eats it from the back), age gap (reader is early 20’s, getō is mid 30's), mentions of breeding, creampie, heavy manipulation, squirting, spanking x1, pet names, reader calls getō master getō, praising.
+ request . . . “girl anything you write about geto is golden, but like him catchin feelings for satoru’s younger sister. ♡ the plot is all yours to mess around with, i just love the idea!” — @ella-simps !! >.<
the old, worn pages are cold between your fingers as you flip them idly, draining the information out the written text and etching it into your nimble brain the best you could with clicking time...
“hey.”
the focused and deep furrowed gape you stare at now rises — startled at the sudden voice creeping up behind you, even feeling a barred hand crawl against your back with a flat palm, tickling at the nape of your neck.
head craning over quickly, your tired eyes peer up to the voice, matching it to the loving face you know and adored, “oh! hey, suguru.” your lips curl softly, trying hard to wipe away the dry and tiredness marinating in your features.
“that book is full of shit by the way. it doesn't even cover all of the true meanings of curses.” suguru taps at the hard, ridden cover with his knuckles.
“oh... really?” your head drops back down, frowning and flicking at the corner of the pages, seeing how far you've already go into this book, and now hearing getō, your higher up, say that this is practically lies — a book without philosophy, without a sense of the real world or true meaning of curses, just futile words on a page, a useless time to waste...
huh.
“yeah,” his hand pats at your shoulder gently, almost reassuring you as he wonders mindlessly towards the shelves of worn spines of banquet books, scanning them with ill intent, “only people who dealt with curses can truly explain what they are.” suguru says in a voice not as amiable as before — almost ominous...
luring even.
“... well, i know you're an amazing sorcerer who's dealt with plenty of curses, so can you teach me then, master getō?!—”
“absolutely not. you're too young to have that type of information rotting in your brain.” he scowls, brown hues not even focused on you but you can feel the poisonous farce he glares with at the shameful books he evidently doesn't accept cluttering around you.
“please... sugu?”
shortening his name now? cute...
the tips of his fingers skim down the spine of a book, “it can make you lose some sleep, plus i know gojo wouldn't want you learning this yet, i know him — a brother would want to easily teach his younger sister, not his friend.” his back turns towards you, thinking he might just be frowning upon the old books, yet only if you're foolish self knew he was trying hard to hide that rising smirk playing at the corners of his lips.
your chair squeaks across the tiled floor as you rise up quickly with a pout, arms crossed and ready to sulk yourself towards him, “i promise i wont tell, please?” you trudge yourself close to his side, peering up at him with doe eyes and a gentle frown.
it's working, just as he thought — got you hooked and intrigued, ready to do anything to learn the ugly truth...
such a stupid girl.
“i don't know...” getō doesn't spare you a second, continuing to read the spines of books.
“at least tell me one thing! just one, please?”
oh, you looked so pretty pouting — practically begging with doe eyes futtering up to him.
“curses can breed with humans.”
what..?
his eyes shift down to you, beady and brown with hues of swirling greys putting on an earnest gaze.
“they'll ease themselves into someone, most commonly, non sorcerers — ‘cause they know they won't feel a thing, knowing some could even end up pregnant without understanding truly by what.” getō watches your eyes shake, almost disgust marinating your features and simmering with frustration.
he sucks the cold air through his teeth, “i mean, curses can breed with anyone, but they do tend to enjoy the innocent most.” his held tilts softly to the right, his hand reaching to brush the index of his finger along your jaw.
“so, make sure to keep an eye out.”
“what?! what do you mean?!” your eyes bat wildly, frantic and confused — and unconsciously leaning in closer to him; feeling that security and safety to be in his aura, like a small child would when their disturbed, running to their most loved and closest protector...
you hadn't even noticed — nerves shocked and worry overbarring your franzic mind, and he took this to his advantage; twinning mezily hands around your sides and tugging you harder into his broad chest.
“yeah... and there's only one way to keep them far...” getō’s tongue flicks out, slicking his lips, “to already be claimed.” he watches your face mush into disarray, ready to do anything to keep those filthy curses away from you.
“how... how so? how do i—”
“we can seal a protection together with just a few things to complete it, nothing too much.”
he sounds... eager..?
you lean in.
“the first step is just a simple kiss.”
simple? a kiss? a simple kiss?
your brother's best friend is asking... to kiss you...
“don't look at me like that, it's just a kiss, nothing more? unless you wish to become pregnant by some thing.” getō reels you back in, using those threatening terms to flee you back against him.
“ok, ok... just promise me you won't tell gojo—”
“trust me, angel. i won't...” getō scoffs before curling forward; a gentle hand soothing its way up your side and cupping the fat of your cheek as he puckers his lips against yours, smearing a hard wet press.
your tummy coils — barely grasping onto the fact that you're kissing your higher up... your brother's best friend...
his hands feel smooth across your skin; feeling lithe fingers play along the curvature of your back, and tracking the discs of your spine before clipping around your waist. and the kiss only presses in harder as getō rocks his body into yours till your back is crushing against the uneven, wooden bookshelves. he's moving quick, lips splitting for a second, feeling hot air catch between you two before sealing it again; a dribble of caught saliva adding to the taste, feeling warmth and sudden elation rising at your core.
but... he said one kiss? right?
maybe he's just trying to make sure, extra percussion... right?
you hope... feeling foreign guilt begin to bubble at your tummy when his boot kicks against your heel; booting them to spread your legs open and shift his body between them.
“g—... g-getō... getō—”
“shh, shhh, that's just step one. there are a few more things to do to seal it.” getō’s loose bangs frizz off to the side, his face beating with a kiss of soft pink, “don't worry, doll face, i know what ‘m doing.” he tastes you against his buds, tasting that sweet pop of cherry lip gloss you always pour onto your pretty lips...
you nod with wracked hands — a cute pink set gojo just bought you, settle against his heaving abdomen.
“what else is there?”
“turn around ‘n i’ll show you...” his hands guide you, twirling you around till your hands clipped atop the shelves — pretty eyes peering over and only catching glimpse of an empty room with cluttered books...
a lick of goosebumps rises along your spine, feeling tepid lips nip at the nape of your neck and sleazy, barred hands squeezing at the flush skin of your hips.
“next is preparing for a claim.” getō’s thumbs idly play around the frill of your skirt, toying with the hem and ruffling it up your perk ass; your eyes peel back wide, teeth catching your bottom lip at the cold air licking across your supple skin.
getō’s eyes ogle at the clear view of your cute ass all jiggly and round — a view he's been fantasizing over for years... now finally in his gaze, his hold; cruel hands kneading and groping at each cheek before spreading them, watching carefully how your back arches into a soft bow as his clipped nails dig crescents into your sensitive skin.
“are you... are you sure about this getō?” only a crack of a whisper spills from between chattering teeth.
“do you not trust your own higher-up?” getō sighs with a lazy thumb playing idly at the pretty pink string of your panties.
“... of course i do! i just never heard of a protection seal like this before—”
“because you're still learning, dear.”
he's right... and you perk your ass up, wiggling on your tippy toes and letting the sauntering man tug at your panties to the side.
getō can feel his mouth water, almost drooling and he doesn't hesitate to drop to his knees at level to your pretty cunt; gazing at the fat of your lips glistening with a slippery mess of your slick clinging between them, practically drooling...
his cock twitches, feeling himself throb hard in his tethered confines — aching with a bulging need to tent up.
“so perfect...” eyes squeezing shut, you feel a long and wet, broad stroke of his tongue slicking from your clit and dragging upwards to your pretty little weeping entrance. laying a flat, slippery tongue, getō spits out a wad of drool, letting it dribble between your folds and spill onto his tongue before poking a nuzzling, pointed nose into the crack of your ass.
your knees almost buckle, turning them inwards with crossed eyes and ridden knuckles scratching against the shelves...
getō prods the point of his tongue and teases it along your cunt, lapping and tasting every slick web you gush out — his glossy lips smack before delving a needy wet muscle between your folds, and curling it deep into your aching pussy; feeling how his tongue flicks against your gummy walls and slip past your heated core. and his hands keep a cruel grip around the soft mounds of your ass, keeping them spread nice and wide to nuzzle his face in deeper — to keep his slick tongue pushed into your cunt, fucking you with his warm muscle in need and in feral intent to lap along your walls.
he can feel you twich in his hold; your thighs trembling at each lick he strides against your pussy makes you whimper out. and it makes him wreck with a sleazy smirk.
so cute, he thinks, but so stupid.
a firm hand claps hard against the perk of your ass, feeling the ringing contact sizzle a warm tingle against your skin in burning heat; firm and cruel with digits tugging into the soft flesh and molding it into his hold... getō keeps you in place as he leans back up with a wet, sticky mouth glistening beneath the sheer lights of the room, and a hard cock pressing against his buckle — almost popping as he groans out,
“just one more step, sweetheart. you're doing so well, so proud of you, angel.” his voice is soft against the shell of your ear, kissing along the lobe with eager hands looping his belt from its ties.
your mouth hangs loosely, only pants and soft moans spew through... still trying hard to wrap your thoughts around this — this is still a protection seal, right?
“now it's time to close in the seal, claim it and make it known.” hearing metal clasp and leather chit against fabric, his baggy pants fall loosely around his ankles; crumpled lazily in the prior rush to expose himself to you — his heavy cock bobbing out and twitching up against his tummy; flush tip pearling with a sticky pre and beating a blossom pink.
“getō!—” he's quick to clap his hands around your mouth knowing you'll yelp out at the sudden and invading fill; forcing a deep arch to bow in your back as he reels your head backwards at the sharp pull to your mouth and stuffs his cock impossibly deep into your cunt.
muffled moans slipping past through the small cracks of his fingers, your heart strums with an ache, feeling it pulse and throb in sync at each barreling thrust he plummets into you with — feeling him quickly set a cruel rythen with haste movements and longing greed. and it makes his pretty earthy eyes to flutter, almost rolling back, unlike yours, already knocking to the back of your skull in growing elation.
“shh, shh, i know, i know...” getō groans through gritted teeth, trying hard to keep the skin-to-skin echoing in the library at minimal, but the tight feel your pussy wraps around his length makes it difficult — forcing his hips to rock harder into yours; watching your perk ass bounce against his pelvis at each cruel, tingling contact too, even salivating at the wet gush your pussy drools with when he slips his tip back in...
he keeps his palms flat against your mumbling and babbling mouth; arms stretched out and keeping you quite the best he could, but the way getō bucks his hips forwards and curves his cock just right to hit deep into your cunt makes you set loose into a boggling gaze — throat bobbing and scratching with wanton mewls.
a rough wave of pleasure shook at your core; the raw rutting inside you was sheer ravenous as getō pushed into you to the hilt. and in a moment of weakness, your hands scramble for purchase but fall pliant against old books, almost ripping and tearing at the sheets of dusted paper for a safe haven, feeling your gummy walls flutter and slick with your mess.
“cumming f’me princess?” he shudders, feeling your pussy squeeze and milk around his cock; a pretty translucent, milky ring barring around his length and globbing up as lube eases himself with a ridden pace.
knees almost sinking in, you feel your sticky mess drool down your thighs before dripping to the carpet in a clear puddle...
“good girl... feel too good f’you huh?” like auditory caramel, and the delicious control in his voice makes your chest sink in with heaving, shaken breaths.
not acknowledging the very harsh grip around your mouth and jaw — that is sure to blossom with bruises, you only cloud into a drooling frenzy, elation stirring to the very core of your tummy, and letting out inaudible sounds of bliss as getō used your little hole like a glorified sleeve. and soon his pace grew to a brutish and unrestrained tempo; his hips stuttering into a blur as he barreled his hefty length into your weeping cunt in every cruel motion.
‘now it's time to seal it, little one...’ he thinks deeply, almost chuckling at your stupidity for falling for such a stupid act, but it worked, and it lead him to feel his balls tighten, and a eager cock to twitch with a needed knot to pop...
the crude sloshing and belches of fluids slicking acted as a fine undertone for the drastic moans threatening to spill through and echo into the little library as getō pumped his cock into you, bucking in hard with a cruel and last thrust; forcefully and clapping his hips against your backside for a final time. running through throes of passion with such intensity, you felt his cock twitch and pump with a sticky mess to spurt out deep into your cunt; warm and sticky cum fills you up, feeling it settle and paint your walls with a milky spunk.
you both shudder, wrecked and sweaty.
getō moans deep, a guttural sigh bobbing at his throat as he slowly slips out; relishing the sticky feel of your cunt trying to swallow him back in.
“there angel... you're all safe now, no lousy little curse is gonna touch you.” he sighs, trying hard to keep the rotten act as he frees you from he barred hold. and you gasp, sucking in air as your eyes fall to the puddle that molds into a crusted mess in the carpet below you...
you nod, breathless — speechless.
“t-thank... thank you master getō...” you sputter out, knobbly legs trying hard to keep straight.
and as getō stuffs himself back into his confines with a sleazy smile resting at his lips, the wooden door of the library swings open.
“yo.”
gojo.
satoru gojo, your brother, was standing right there in front of you both.
thankfully, a rickety bookshelf was between you all, covering your dignity and mess...
“satoru! just in time, was just teaching your sister about curses.” getō cleared his throat and pats at your ass before walking around the shelf with hands in the air to greet him.
“getō, c’mon! i said i was gonna take her out and show her some real curses, not just talk about them — that's boring.” gojo steps in, but his nose whiffs in the air.
“y/n? what’re doin’? looks like you just ran a marathon — getō, must've been teaching you about that brutal curse sukuna, huh? made me break a sweat too.” gojo scoffs jokingly, but his brow raises over at you, only for getō to shove himself in his way,
“yeah, she couldn't even get through it all without breaking down, clearly she's not ready to even see real curses yet, gojo.” his smile is large and cocky as you try hard to gulp down a breath of air...
# % !! tags . . . @sparklingtragedy , @kenmasbimbo , @atsumeii , @sacvh , @luvbladez , @dukina , @rynfushiguro14 , @sauza , @getosbunny , @imvivian , @getou2001 , @carrixx , @sinfuldxlight , @depressio-milkshake , @bimbokutos, @groovyauras , @edens-pen , @diaphanoso , @suget , @sanjithesimp , @geniusso , @whosniya !! >.<
#💌.jjk masterlist#💌.suguru getō#suguru geto x reader#suguru geto smut#geto x reader#geto x you#geto x y/n#getou smut#jjk x reader#gojo x y/n#tw age difference#gojo x reader#tw dub con#jjk smut#geto smut
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ANGEL OF MINE (Sequel to Who’s Better Than Me?)
Rio x blackfem!reader (OC - Angel)
“After a plateau in their relationship, Rio sets out to make things right—”
PARING: Exes to Lovers / Past High School School Sweethearts
SUGGESTED TUNES 💿: We Need Resolution by Aaliyah, Best Thing by Usher, Take Away by Missy Elliott & Ginuwine, Think Of You by Amerie, Fallen by Mya, Ella Me Levanto by Daddy Yankee
CONTENTS: 18+ MDNI, SMUT, ANGST, Some fluff, professing of love, cursing, pinv, r*ugh s*x, cre*m p*e, or*l (fem receiving), Semi Redeemed Rio, Rio being a bedroom bully, with a dash of pettiness again lol, slight use of Spanish, a potential pregnancy, etc. (NOT PROOFREAD/UNEDITED)
AUTHORS NOTE: Genuinely I did not think about writing another part, but some ideas popped up in my head and so here we are lol! this part is kinda long but hope y’all enjoy regardless 💖 GIF CREDIT: by me :)
“How I'm supposed to be to you if you keep squirmin'? Be still,"
Angel couldn’t fully register Rio’s instructions over the pounding of her heart. She shivered, squirming in her spot on the bed. Rio lowered his head, placing small kisses on Angel’s stomach. The softness and warmth of his lips spurred her on even more, Angel began to pull away from Rio's touch.
“Don’t move,” Rio ordered, his large hands held her in place, one of them pressed down on Angel's stomach, "You gonna be good and listen, hm?"
“Yes! I’ll be g-good,” Angel whimpered.
Rio smiled down at her, keeping one hand on her stomach, while the other reached for his hardened shaft. He aligned himself with her dripping core, plunging the tip into her wetness, eliciting a soft moan from Angel. He repeated the movement a few times over slowly easing more of him into her. Angel’s whines grew more desperate with each shallow stroke.
With one last stroke, Rio bottomed out, fully, planting his hands firmly at Angel’s waist.
“Fuck, Angel. So fuckin’ tight,”
Angel’s hands snake up Rio’s back, pulling him towards her, as he began rocking into her.
“Angel,”
“Yes, baby?”
“Angel,”
“Hm?”
“Angel!”
With two snaps from her friend, Benny, Angel was pulled out of her reverie and back into reality.
“You good?” Benny asked as he waved his fork in the air.
“She’s fine,” Keke chuckled, “She’s just having a flashback, of Riooo,”
Angel rolled her eyes as she took a sip from her drink. She leaned back into her seat, looking at the passerbyers. It was a beautiful day, the sun shined brightly, casting down warm rays. After being stuck in the office in the all morning, the change in scenery was much needed.
“Have you talked to him?” Benny mused. He twirled pasta around his fork, before eating a large forkful.
“…No,” Angel sighed.
“Seriously?” Keke asked, eyes wide with shock. “I thought y’all hit it off, literally, after the reunion,”
“We did! And the sex was amazing, but—”
“But what?”
“I don’t know, y'all. So much time has passed, and he's changed so much since we were in high school, I feel like he's not the same boy I once knew,”
"I mean duh, Angel," Keke shrugged, "are any of us who we were 20 years ago?"
"She's right, Angel," Benny added, "None of us are the same as we were back then. It's impossible, babe. It sounds like you more scared of what he does not who is,"
Angel leaned back into her chair; arms folded across her chest. Maybe Benny was right. There was never a moment that passed in the day that she didn't want to be wrapped in Rio's arms. To just be with him. Yet, every time Angel wanted to reach out something stopped her. Everything was different about Rio and seeing him at the reunion was a bit jarring. From his clothes to the way he walked, even that damn eagle tattoo itched on his neck. The way he practically had all of their former classmates fawning over him, laughing at all of his jokes. There was a dangerous charm that Rio possessed. Sure, Angel was used to Rio's boy-ish charms after being on the receiving end of it, but this was something entirely different. It was potent, calculated, and completely irresistible. That was developed from experience, an experience that made Angel think twice.
"By all means, I'm not excusing Rio's, nefarious activities," Benny continued, "I just think you should at least talk to the man. The man, you've been in love with most of your life,"
"And from that glow you've been sporting," Keke added, she paused to a sip from her drink, slurping for dramatic affect. Benny and Angel chuckled, "I know that dick was good. So, take a chance! You'll never know what could happen between you too,"
Angel nodded. For the rest of the day, she pondered Benny and Keke's advice. She had to take a chance, she had to try.
----
It wasn't until 10 PM, when Angel pulled to her home. Arms chalked full of groceries, she wanted to stock up on food and other snacks for her much needed staycation. Angel trudged up the stairs, to her humble bungalow, she fumbled with the straps of the shopping bags and her work purse, trying grab her keys. She quickly opened the door, once inside she locked the door behind her and made a beeline for the kitchen.
Angel didn't bother to turn the light on in the kitchen. Her mind was preoccupied with putting the groceries away so she could take a shower and finally relax. So much that she didn't notice a smoldering, Rio leaned against the refrigerator. He watched her as she unloaded the groceries, not wanting to disturb her just yet. He wanted to admire the way her slacks hugged her curves, just a tad bit longer.
With a grocery bag in hand, Angel turned around, immediately meeting Rio's eyes. Her heart dropped to her stomach.
“Fuck!”
Angel quickly crouched down, grabbing the spilled groceries on the floor. Rio crossed the room in quick strides, bending down to help. A quietness fell over them as they loaded the items into the reusable bag.
“…What are you doing here? How did you get here? You know what don't answer that," Angel sputtered. She sat the bag on her breakfast table. She folded her arms over her chest, “No call, no text. I mean, what the hell Rio?”
His expression was indecipherable as Rio peered at her. His eyes continued to trace over her, as if he was trying to commit her features to memory, as if he really needed to for that matter. Rio tipped his head to the side and scratched the light stubble on his chin.
Angel mentally kicked herself, only Rio could look that dangerously good in minimal lighting. She averted her eyes, looking at the calendar tacked on her fridge, before looking back at Rio.
He shrugged. “I could say the same. You didn’t call, you didn’t text. You avoidin’ me?”
Angel scoffed. “First off, I’m not avoiding you. Second, who breaks into someone’s home after not seeing for a couple of weeks—”
“—A month,”
“However, long it was. If you wanted to talk, this isn’t the way to go about it,”
Rio nodded slowly, poking his bottom lip in that ever so subtle way, as he mused over Angel’s words.
“If I called, would you have answered?”
Angel opened her mouth to respond but quickly closed it. Truth was, if Rio did call, she wouldn’t have picked up. Not because Angel didn’t want to, it was complicated. The night that they shared was magical, more amazing than anything Angel could ever dream of, but when the sun rose the next morning and reality set in. They were too different, Angel lived a normal life, she loved her job, her friends, her family, even the “Tinkerbell” car she drove. Her life was routine, with a few moments of spontaneity (hooking up with Rio was one of them). Rio’s life she assumed, was nothing but spontaneity, having to always keep one eye open, always looking over one’s shoulder. Adding Rio into the equation was too much. It was easier when they were younger, it was simpler time. Their love came with no extra baggage, it was pure.
Now, things are much different, Rio was different. He’s a crime boss for pete’s sake, and Angel knew that he didn’t want the same things, as she did. Last time she checked, living the life of a criminal didn’t allow for marriage and kids, not in the way Angel wanted anyway.
“Rio,” Angel began, the dropped her arms, and twiddled with her fingers, “you…we, we are just different,”
A deep sigh escaped Rio. When Angel finally met Rio’s gaze she could see the cracks in his resolve. His jaw was tight, and usual brown eyes carried a hardness in them. Rio ran a hand across her features, rolling his shoulders while doing so.
“You breakin’ my heart, Angelita,” Rio took a few steps forward, now standing only a few away from Angel. He easily towered over her small frame, “what’s so different about me?”
“Y-you’ve changed, I’ve changed,”
“So?”
“So?! This is serious, Rio, are lives are completely different, you don’t want the same things as me,”
“Bullshit. I need real, Angel. Why are you pullin’ away from me?”
“You’re a fucking criminal, Rio!”
A huge wave of embarrassment and guilt washed over her, she quickly buried her face in her hands. She couldn’t bear to look at Rio after saying what she said. How could she react like that? Regardless of her aversion to what Rio does, he deserved more respect than the outburst she just had. This was the man she’s been in love with since she fifteen, he deserved better.
Angel felt Rio gently wrap his hands around hers, and pulled them away from her face. He then tilted Angel’s upwards to meet his gaze. Rio searched her eyes, seeing the guilt in them he softened.
“You scared of me, Angel?”
Angel froze. Her mind traveling back to the night they spent together, and the glimpse gun she saw as she left his place. Her mind drummed up all of the scenarios that could happen, flashes of him in an orange jumpsuit behind bars, and his name across the headstone in the graveyard. A future that she never wanted to see, but in a way already happened. A little into Angel's first semester of college, word got out Rio was going to prison, it broke her. She couldn't bear to see him like that or worse, 6 feet under.
So, to answer his question was she scared of Rio, no. Was she scared of what could happen to Rio, absolutely, Angel loved him too much just to be okay with could happen to him. Or what he could do to others.
"Hey, hey," Rio spoke, pulling her focus back to him, "there you go wonderin' again. Tell me, what's going on in that pretty head of yours?"
Angel sighed. “...I don’t like what you do,”
Rio dropped his hand away from Angel's chin. He nodded slowly, processing. A quietness fell over them, as they stared wordlessly at one another. Rio's eyes slowly trailed down towards Angel's chest. She felt the breath hitch in her throat, when he reached towards her. Gently, he lifted the necklace she wore. Rio held the angel pendant between his fingers, the pad of his thumb softly tracing over the figure's wings.
"You kept it," Rio spoke, his eyes combing over the figure with Angel could only interpret as fondness. Her heart fluttered. "You know, I put in mad work tryna get this. Cutting grass, washing cars, all that shit. I wanted you to feel good. I wanted you to know I loved you,"
"Rio..."
"Por siempre y para siempre, forever and always. That's what's engraved on the wings. Angel, you're my forever, you're my always. It's only been you,"
Angel felt tears prickle at the corners of her eyes. This is the most vulnerable she's seen Rio, ever. To hear him speak with such sincerity and conviction, Angel couldn't help her heart swell with love.
"My business is my business, and I can't change what I did and all the choices I've made. But being with you made me realize, mama that shit has an expiration date," Rio brought his hands to Angel's face, and cradled her soft cheeks, "I can't promise that I'll magically become a better man over night, but I want to try, for you will. 'Cause I don't wanna loose you mama, not again,"
Without a second thought Angel leans forward and kisses Rio. Their kiss was sweet, tongues moving in tandem as Angel snaked her arms around Rio, pulling him closer to her. Her fingers caress the top of Rio's head, soft touches rubbing at his scalp. Rio lets out a throaty groan, its vibrations straight to Angel's core. A flush of heat rushes through her entire body. She breaks the kiss.
"I wanna try, Christopher," Angel whispers. She nuzzles Rio's nose. He pulls away slightly, to see her face fully. A smile blooms across his face. He kisses her again.
"Yeah?" Rio's smile grows wider seeing the sincerity in Angel's face.
"Yes, baby," Angel nods, biting her lip.
A flicker of lust danced in Rio eyes. His tongue swiped across his bottom lip, while his hands drifted towards Angel's bottom. Rio's large hands squeezed and palmed her ass. He landed a firm smack on her ass.
"Rio!"
He chuckled. "Go upstairs, and get on the bed, how I like," Rio mumbled against her cheek, before placing a soft kiss there.
Angel didn't waste any time, she raced upstairs to her bedroom, completely forgetting about her groceries in the kitchen. She kicked off her heels, stripping off her slacks and dress shirt. Angel sat on her bed, legs spread out for him, in only her bra and panties. Coincidently, in his favorite color, green.
Minutes seemed to drawl into hours as Angel waited. Her heart rattled against her chest, as Angel's mind raced at the possibilities of what Rio was going to do to her. Another a minute or so passed when Angel heard Rio's footsteps coming up the stairs.
He appeared in doorway with two bottles of water in hand. He smoothly entered the room, eyes glued to Angel, he settled on a spot in front of Angel's vanity. Rio sat one of the water bottles down on the table, while he opened the other, taking a quick sip. His were so heated, so blazed as they roamed Angel's body. It felt like invisible hands were rubbing and caressing her all over.
"You look good, mama. All spread out for me. Shit, lingerie in my favorite color too..."
"All for you, baby," Angel cooed.
Rio's lips tipped into small smile. He took another swig of water. He sat the bottle down, putting the cap back on.
"I'm not gonna lie, you hurt my feelings, when you went ghost on me..."
"Rio, baby, I'm sorry–"
"Sshhh," Rio hushed Angel with a finger to his lips, "All is forgiven, but you got make it up to me. You gonna make it up to me, darlin'?"
Angel nodded.
"Play with that pussy for me."
Angel slowly peeled out of her panties, making a show out of it, she made sure that Rio got a view of her ass. She flung them to the side, returning her previous position. Widening her legs, Angel's fingers found themselves at her core, swiping at the wetness, she began to rub taut circles on her clit.
"Fuck!" Angel whined.
"Damn..." Rio voice trailed, eyes zeroing in Angel's core. He hummed in satisfaction as fingers began to unbutton his flannel. "You, look so fuckin' good. You close?"
"Yesssss, I'm so close! I need you soooo bad," Angel moaned as her fingers continued to rub tight circles on her clit.
"I got you, just keep going. I wanna see my pretty girl cum for me,"
Angel felt the familiar knot in her belly as her orgasm began to build. Her wetness pooled out of her the more her fingers worked her core. She felt her pussy flutter when Rio peeled out his t-shirt, revealing his svelte frame covered in intricate tattoos. Seeing his rich skin practically covered ink, tipped her over the edge.
"Ooooh, shit, I'm cummin',"
"Mhm, let it out for me, mama," Rio egged her on.
Angel shook as her orgasm coursed through her, wetting up her sheets. She laid down on the bed, closing her eyes as she rode out the aftershocks, her skin tingling with pleasure. Quick taps on her thighs, brought her back, she opened her eyes to Rio looming over her.
"On all fours, darlin',"
Angel obliged. She turned and faced her faced her headboard. She adjusted herself, making sure her the arch in her back was damn near perfect. Rio's belt and zipper clinked and clanked as he undressed himself. His hands palmed her ass, the callused pads of his fingers felt good against her skin. Angel mewled loudly, when she felt Rio's soft tongue lick down her slit.
"Christopher!"
"You taste good. Sweet as fuck," Rio groaned. "You ready for me?"
"Yes, baby. Please don't play with it," Angel turned her head to look at him, biting down her lip. She gazed into his stormy eyes, clouded thick with lust. With one hand, Rio's fingers trailed down Angel's spine, pausing for second. Then landed another firm smack on her Angel's ass. "Baby! Be nice,"
"Nah," Rio stated firmly, he deepened Angel's arch. He adjusted himself, inching his dick closer to Angel's entrance, "You still got some makin' up to do,"
With no warning, Rio plunged into Angel, bottoming out completely. Angel's toes curled, at his fullness and the stretch that only he could give her. He circled himself inside her, pulling himself out, then plunging back in. Rio tightened the grip on Angel's hips as began to rock into her. She gushed and clenched around his member, nails clawing at the sheets below them.
"Goddamn," Rio hissed, "I feel you tightin' around me. You close already?"
"Oh my god! Yes, you fuckin' me so good,"
"Yeaaaah, that's right me, only me. Nobody else, right mama?"
"N-nobody else, baby, shit! I love you so much, Christopher,"
Angel felt Rio's hips stutter at her confession. It only served as more motivation for Rio, spurring him on, he pistoned into Angel faster and harder. He reached downwards, grabbing a handful of her coils, yanking her upwards.
"Say it again," He rasped in her ear.
"I-I-I love you, shit,"
"Again,"
"I love you, I love you, I love you, Rio I'm cumming," Angel cried out.
Rio held Angel close, fucking her through her orgasm. Angel shuddered, as she felt her essence drip down her thighs, as Rio continued to thrust into her wildly, kissing and nibbling at her ear lobe. He slowed rhythm of his hips, letting Angel's hair go, placing small kisses down her neck and shoulders.
"You did so good for me," Rio breathed out. He softly patted at Angel's plush thighs, as he slowly pulled out. "Face me,"
Angel shifted around, laying on her back she spread her legs wide. Rio situated himself between Angel's legs. He stroked himself a few times, biting his lip at the small squelching noises he made. In one swift motion, Rio plunged himself back in, fully engulfing himself in Angel's wet pussy.
"Fuckkkkkk," Rio growled. Angel whined in response. At this angle, Rio was hitting her spongy spot way deeper than before, causing waves of pleasure to flood her entire body. "Pussy so fuckin', shit, nena,"
Both her heart and her pussy fluttered, seeing the blissed out look on his gorgeous features. Rio was always so controlled and reserved most of them, so to see him like this, guttural, borderline animalistic, Angel loved it. She began to feel him throb inside of her, he was close.
"Mhmm, I feel you, baby. I want you to cum inside me," Angel cooed as she cradled the back of Rio neck.
"Yeah? You want me cummin', inside you. Careful, now. I might fuck around and give you a baby forreal,"
Angel cupped Rio's face, kissing him deeply. She pulled away, nodding her head in a wordless confirmation. Rio's eyes softened, at the realization. He bucked his hips, in deep, desperate strokes.
"Shit! Angelita, you gonna look so good, belly fully, with our baby, fuck. I love you, Angel," He grunted, as his resolve was wearing down by the second. The midst of his brutal thrust, Angel felt another orgasm hurdle towards the surface. Her walls spasmed around Rio's dick, screaming out as she came. "Just like that, fuck, eres mio, todo mio, baby, shit,"
A few strokes were all it took to send Rio over the edge. He buried himself in Angel's neck as his blasted his cum inside of her. Rio groans were muffled against Angel's skin. He held her closed as he shook from the pleasure, shooting thick, hot ropes of cum inside of her. Angel wrapped her legs around him, she didn't want to miss a single drop.
A calmness fell over them, as the breathed in tandem, hearts following the same rhythm. Rio lifted his head up, resting his chin on Angel's chest. Warms hands rubbed soft circles against her skin. He gazed at her, nothing but love and stardust in them.
"You're gonna be a good mom," He mumbled.
Angel smiled softly, she rubbed at his shoulders. "And you're gonna be a good dad. I love you, Christopher,"
"I love you too, mama. Por siempre y para siempre."
#siribaesfics#rio x reader#rio x blackfem!reader#rio x blackcurvy!reader#rio x black!reader#black fanfiction#poc fanfiction#rio smut#rio good girls fanfiction
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Q&A with Colby brock
A little intro to my page : Hi I’m Ella and this is my first fic so apologies if it’s bad . REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!! Any feedback is appreciated .
Description: you and Colby are dating and decide to do the ‘saying yes for 24hr challenge” but you wasn’t prepared for the crazy things he was going to ask
Word count: 469
Warning’s : cursing , dirty comments but no actual smut , think that’s it.
You finally hit 3 million on YouTube ; mainly being famous for your lifestyle and vlogs you posted , along side the occasional prank (which was nearly almost aimed at Colby and your other roommates.) To celebrate this massive milestone you decided to film the video all your fans who where begging you to film a Q&A with your boyfriend Colby . You two have been dating for a long time now so you have filmed q&a videos before but not for a long while now. So when’s a better time to do it , you and Colbys the best you have ever been and the fans where literally begging you
You set up the camera , positioning it to fit both you and Colby in the frame . Once it was all set up you pressed the record button and sat back in your seat , leaning into Colby with a wide smile on your face. “Hey guys!” You beamed “today we are doing the highly requested Q&A! So I asked you all on twitter to send us questions and my manager picked out some of the best ones for us to answer” You looked over at Colby “You ready?” You smile and Colby responds with a nervous laugh “sure” The camera cuts to you holding your phone getting ready to hear the first question
“Okay this one is from Alyssa. When did you guys have your first kiss , can you describe it ?”
Your cheeks turned a rosy red as you thought about your first kiss , you turned around to Colby only to see him blushing as well . He began to talk “ our first kiss was actually in highschool” you both laughed, remembering the day . He continued “And umm we was all playing spin the bottle and it was..like really awkward. I mean you was like my what 3rd kiss ever” you nodded in agreement “yeah we didn’t have a lot of experience then.”
“But our first proper kiss was at a Halloween party” Colby said smiling at the camera “ I had a massive crush on you at the time y/n and you was wearing a ..REALLY hot vampire costume” you both chucked “and we started making jokes and flirting and I looked into your eyes and knew at that moment that I loved you . So I made my shot and headed into a kiss .. an amazing kiss” you both sat in a comfortable silence , looking at each other with smiles on your faces . You placed a small kiss on colbys cheek and read the next question
You both answered few more questions , some being funny and others being a bit personal . After the final question was answered you filmed your outro and stopped filming .
#colby x reader#colby brock#sam and colby#fluff#filming with Sam and colby#q&a#dating colby brock#colby brock fluff#colby brock x reader#colby brock x y/n#colby brock x you
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Are You With Me? |
| Chapter 2
previous part | masterlist | next part
synopsis: Jake and Y/N sit down for an appointment about Ella's illness. Jake has his reservations about Miles being Ella's doctor.
word count: 2.9k
warnings: medical inaccuracies, childhood cancer, mentions of cheating, physical violence, trauma flashback, fighting, cursing
“How could you do this to us!” The shattering sound of glass filled the air, making everything around them go silent, “You bastard! I loved you! Why did you do this!”
She couldn’t see the little boy cowered behind the wall. His pajamas pants were soaked as he stood there watching the fight in the kitchen. He clutched his dinosaur blanket in his hands as he watched his mother fall to her knees in a heap of tears. His father just stood there, with his head hung low, guilt aching in his body.
“Did our vows mean nothing to you?”
“They mean everything to me,” He whispered out. She snapped her head up to look at him.
“But you slept with that whore! All this time while I was raising our children you were fucking some other woman!” He looked away from her, not being able to stand seeing the pain in her eyes anymore, “Look at me, George!”
He turned his head back towards her, “It meant nothing.”
The woman let out a laugh as she stood up from her knees. She shook her head as her hand curled around another glass mug, “It meant nothing. . . Did this mean nothing!?” She threw the mug again at the wall. The little boy jumped, covering his ears from the sound, “I’m leaving.”
“What?” George asked, his eyes growing frantic as she quickly moved through the kitchen, grabbing her purse and coat, “No. Jolene, let’s work this out.”
“I can’t,” She shook her head, going towards the built in desk. She grabbed a stack of blank checks, stuffing them in her purse, “I can’t stand to look at you. I’m leaving.”
“No, Jolene, lets-”
“I am done!” Jolene yelled as she opened the door to the garage and slammed it shut. George closed his eyes and hung his head as the familiar sound of her car started up.
The sound of crying broke George from his stupour. His eyebrows furrowed as he looked over at the wall where the source of the crying was. He slowly made his way over towards the crying, catching the little boy who stood there with wet pajama pants and his dinosaur blanket, tears running down his cheeks.
He clenched his jaw, “What are you doing up, Jake?”
The little boy lifted his head and looked at his father, “I-I need momma. I-I had an accident.”
George shook his head, and brushed past the boy, “Go to bed.”
— — —
TWO YEARS AGO:
Jake shouldn’t be here.
In fact, he should be anywhere but here. He never wanted his life to come to this, to be the lowly man sitting at a dumpy bar late at night. But he had nowhere else to go. He couldn’t go to the Hard Deck, Penny would call his wife. And he couldn’t go home to his wife either.
It had only been a couple of weeks since they lost their baby, and the weeks had been hell. Y/N tried to plaster on a smile and act like everything was fine, but Jake knew that wasn’t true. He knew that when the house went quiet after the kids were at school, she sat in the empty bedroom that would be the nursery and cried. Every time Jake tried to comfort her, she would push him away, not wanting to be touched or coddled. Her newest unhealthy habit was taking pregnancy tests, to see if maybe, just maybe, the doctor got things wrong.
“Another one?” The bartender asked, looking at Jake’s empty scotch glass.
“He’ll have another one. And i’ll take the same.” Jake snapped his head towards the sound of a female voice, “I saw you lookin lonely and thought you’d need some company.”
Jake nodded his head, clenching his jaw as the bartender set two fresh glasses filled with amber liquid. Jake didn’t even look at the girl as he finished his drink in one go.
“Whoa slow down there, tiger,” She giggled, “Nights just getting started.”
“Night is over,” Jake grumbled, slamming his glass down. He went to stand up when the female placed her hand on his arm to stop him.
“I-I shouldn’t have done that but I just don’t… Look,” She sighed, running a hand across her forehead, “I’m coming off of a failed engagement and my friends told me to just get back out there and I-“
“Thought I was the right subject to test the theory?” Jake raised an eyebrow and the woman nodded her head, biting her lip, “Well I’m not. I’m married.”
She frowned, looking at his hand, “I don’t see a ring.”
“Don’t need to wear one to be married to someone,” Jake pulled his wallet out of his pocket, setting down a couple twenties to cover his tab and leave a hefty tip, “Word of advice, sweetheart, you want to meet a guy? Don’t find him in a bar.”
“I’m sorry,” She her voice cracked, making Jake stop in his tracks.
‘I should go home. I should go home.’ Jake thought in his head, as he turned over his shoulder, looking at the girl with tears in her eyes. She was clearly out of her element as she sat in the dark dingy bar, and Jake wasn’t liking the look Earl was giving her. He huffed a sigh, as he turned back towards his barstool.
“One drink,” Jake ordered. The girl seemed to perk up a bit, wiping her tears and nodding in agreement, “I’m Jake, by the way.”
“Cassie,” The blonde said, holding out her hand for Jake to shake.
The conversation flowed easily between Jake and Cassie, and before either one of them knew it, one drink had turned into several. Cassie opened up about her failed engagement to her high school sweetheart who had knocked up her best friend. Cassie talked about growing up in a small town in Oregon, and how she had waited her whole life to get out and explore the world.
“What about you?” Cassie asked, “I told you about my engagement, my family, my college threesome adventure. . . so what about you? What about your wife?”
It was like cold water had been poured down Jake’s back at the mention of his wife, “Nothing to tell. Look,” Jake stood up again, “I really need to go this time. I’ll walk you out and call you a cab.”
Cassie shook her head, “No, it’s okay,” She gave Jake a small smile, “Thanks for listening to me.”
Jake smiled back at her, “No problem. Good night, Cassie.”
Jake drove home in silence, the events of the night weighing heavily on his mind. He knew that he shouldn’t have stayed out that long, that he should’ve been home to help Y/N with dinner and putting the kids to bed. But being at home felt like his own personal hell. He could hardly find a place in the house that was quiet with a four year old and a two year old running around. Y/N might’ve liked the noise and the chaos, but Jake was a creature of habit and structure. Not all the time had to be fun and play time.
When Jake pulled up to the house, he found it unsurprisingly dark. He quickly grabbed his stuff out of his truck, and walked as quietly as he could up the stairs. Jake checked on both of his kids, before going to his shared bedroom. Y/N’s sleeping frame was laid out in the middle of the bed, her face pushed into Jake’s pillow. His heart tugged a bit seeing her in her most vulnerable form. It seemed to be only when Y/N was asleep she was most at peace.
As if she could sense his presence, Y/N stirred in bed, her eyes fluttering open to adjust to the darkness, “Jake?”
“Shh,” Jake quieted her as he walked over to the side of the bed, “Sorry to wake you.”
“No, it’s okay,” Y/N mumbled, turning over to face him, “You’re home late?”
“Drinks at the Hard Deck,” The lie rolled off his tongue almost too easily.
“Oh,” Y/N nodded her head, “Are you gonna shower?” Jake nodded his head. Y/N pushed herself up on her elbows looking at her husband, “Can I join you?”
Jake swallowed, shaking his head, “Not tonight. Go back to bed.”
Y/N felt her eyes burn with rejection as she laid back down in bed. She couldn’t even remember the last time she and Jake had been intimate. Sex wasn’t a huge part of their relationship, but it was an important part. Jake had never turned her down as much as he had in the past couple of weeks. Y/N had never been the type to worry about Jake and his attractiveness towards her, but now she was starting to grow concerned.
“I’ll be right back,” Jake placed his hand on her cheek before leaning in to place a kiss on her forehead.
“Jake,” Y/N called out to him, grabbing his hand before he could walk away, “You still love me, right?”
Jake scoffed, “Of course I do, sweets. Where did that come from?”
Y/N shook her head, pushing the tears back from her eyes, “Nothing. I just. . .I just feel a bit-”
“Well stop it,” Jake said, his eyebrows furrowed, “I love you, alright. You’re the one for me. You always have been, always will be,” Y/N nodded her head, as Jake pressed another kiss to her forehead, “I’m going to shower. Go back to sleep, I’ll be out soon.”
— — —
PRESENT:
“There’s a flower in my lungs?” Ella’s eyes were wide as she stared at Miles.
It had been two months to the day since Y/N had woken up to Ella coughing up blood. It had six weeks of tests, doctors appointments, needles, tears, and anxiety, all for them to get the result that they didn’t want. Ella sat in the middle of Jake and Y/N, while Miles sat behind his desk and Val protectively in the corner. Jake had his reservations about Miles being one of Ella’s doctors but Y/N and Val assured him that he was the best. There was no one better to oversee Ella’s care but him.
“How did it get in there?” Ella asked, “What is a lung?”
Miles softly chuckled, as Y/N shook her head. Ella had been in surprisingly good spirits despite the constant needle pokes and doctor’s visit. She remained her curious self, asking about how the MRI machines worked and what they needed a tube of her blood for. When the appointments were over, Ella went home and played with Alex and Eli until it was dinner. She hadn’t missed a beat, which was refreshing for Y/N and Jake.
“Your lungs,” Miles said, standing up and walking around his desk. He kneeled in front of Ella, a smile on his face as he talked to her, “Are right here,” He gently poked her sides, making her giggle, “They help you breathe. Remember when you come to the doctor in the middle of the night? And you were having trouble getting air?” Ella nodded her head, a sad look growing on her face, “Well, it’s because this flower is in your lungs, and it’s not supposed to be there.”
“It’s making me sick?” Ella looked over at her dad.
Jake nodded his head, putting his arm around her chair, “Yeah, babygirl, it is making you sick. But Doctor Miles here is going to make you all better.”
“Will it hurt?”
Miles looked at Y/N and Jake before proceeding, “It won’t be fun. We have to give you some medicine, and do something called surgery to take the flower out.”
Ella’s bottom lip wobbled as she looked back at Jake, “I don’t want it to hurt.”
“I know baby,” Jake sighed, picking her up and setting her in his lap. She nuzzled her head into the crook of Jake’s neck, her tears hitting his skin, “It’ll be okay. It’ll only hurt for a little while, and then you’ll feel better.”
“I don’t want it to hurt at all,” Ella sobbed, “Can’t you leave it in?”
“No, Ella,” Y/N said, moving to sit next to Jake. She gently ran her hand up and down Ella’s back, “If we leave it in, you will get sicker. And nobody wants you to get sick.”
Ella cried even harder, fully turning her face into Jake’s shoulder. Y/N closed her eyes, counting to ten in her head. While Ella was running around without a care in the world, Y/N had spent the last two months in tears. As soon as she and Jake put the kids down for bed, and Jake retreated to his new home; the loft above the garage, Y/N broke down in the solace of her bedroom. Her nose was rubbed raw from the constant use of tissues. Her eyes burned from crying. And her body felt weak from the exhaustion of being a mother and trying to wrap her head around Ella’s diagnosis.
“I promise Ella,” Miles spoke softly, “I will make sure it doesn’t hurt. I will do all that I can.”
Ella picked her head up from Jake’s chest, her little fist clenched his shirt in her hand, “You promise?”
“I pinky promise,” Miles held out his pinky. Ella reached her hand out, and wrapped her small pinky around his.
“Hey Bells,” Val said, pushing off of her corner spot, “How about we go look at the new babies?”
Ella looked at her dad with wide eyes before she scurried down from his lap and to her aunt. It was moments like these that Y/N was grateful for Val. Her ability to read the room and know just what she needed at what time. Once Ella and Val were out of the room, Y/N couldn’t hold her tears back anymore.
“I’m sorry,” She sniffled, “I just. . . I’m sorry.”
“What’s there to be sorry about?” Miles asked, grabbing a box of tissues off his desk.
Y/N grabbed several tissues and dabbed the tears off her cheeks. She was thankful that today of all days she decided on the waterproof mascara, “For this,” She gestured to herself, “For the tears. My daughter has cancer and I’m the one-”
“You are allowed to cry,” Miles said, “This is scary and frightening. In fact, if you didn’t cry, I think I’d be concerned.” Y/N chuckled and shook her head, “There’s that smile.”
Jake clenched his jaw, looking between Miles and his ex-wife. Y/N hadn’t shared all the details on why her and Miles didn’t work out, but it was clear to Jake that something still remained. He knew from Val that Miles was one of the best pediatric doctors on this side of the US, but that didn’t mean Jake trusted him. Jake didn’t trust him when Y/N was dating him, and he still didn’t trust him now that his daughter’s life was in his hands.
“So,” Miles said, “We are going to get Ella started with her first rounds of chemotherapy. Because she’s a pediatric patient, it is our protocol that we keep them here during the chemo session.”
“How long will that be?” Jake asked.
“First session will be eight weeks. Twice a week. This cancer can be highly aggressive and the best way we can get ahead of it, is if we are highly aggressive. Now, I will be the lead doctor on Ella’s case, but we will also collaborate with the lead of Oncology, Doctor Thomas.”
“He any good?” Y/N rolled her eyes at Jake’s question. Of course any doctor that worked at the UC San Diego had to be the best of the best.
“She,” Miles corrected, “Is one of the best. I wouldn’t have her on Ella’s team if she wasn’t.”
Y/N nodded, “Thank you, Miles. I’m gonna go see where Val took my child.”
“No problem, Y/N. And if you need anything, seriously, don’t hesitate to call me.” Jake tried his hardest to not roll his eyes. The moment the door had shut, Jake straightened in his chair and stared down Miles, “Look, I know I’m not your favorite person.”
“Not even by far.”
Miles rolled his eyes, “I am here to make Ella feel better. You and I want to the same end goal, and I can’t do my job if you are constantly against me.”
Jake scoffed, “Let’s make one thing clear,” He stood from his chair, “I am not your friend. I never have been and never will be. My wfie says you’re the best of the best, so I believe her. You better prove to me that you are the best of the best and make sure my little girl will live a long healthy life. We’ve already lost one baby and we sure as hell aren’t going to lose another one.”
“I will do everything in my power to make sure Ella lives a long healthy life, Jake,” Miles said sincerely, “It is my promise to you.”
“Good,” Jake nodded his head, “As long as you do your job and don’t let distractions dictate what you do. . . we won’t have a problem,” Jake flashed Miles his signature smirk, before turning around to face the door, “Have a good day.”
“By the way,” Miles called out as Jake’s hand reached for the door knob, “She broke up with me because she’s still in love with you.”
Jake felt his heart beat speed up in his chest as he opened the door and walked out without another word.
taglist: @yanna-banana @kmc1989 @soulmates8 @averyhotchner @fandom-life-12 @jazminlahey20 @jessicab1991 @reidshearts @princess76179 @dizzybee03 @dempy @kellyls04 @daddymack01 @beautifulandvoid @noonenuts @bradleybeachbabe @its-the-pilot @buckysteveloki-me @shibble @a-library-ofmy-own @fanfictionismyhobby @emilyoflanternhill @seitmai @moonlessnight14 @hardballoonlove @sgt-barnesveins @vhkdncu2ei8997 @1nterstellarcha0s @krispybearbouquet @a-serene-place-to-be @seresinslady @na-ta-sh-aa @milestomaverick @itsmytimetoodream @topgunslut @yuckosworld @angelbabyange @pedrohoe04 @midnightmagpiemama @lynnevanss @ummjustfics @thegoddessc @mrsevans90 @mjsvinyl @luversgirl @silenthappyplace @buckysvinyl
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#top gun#top gun fan fic#top gun imagine#top gun fan fiction#top gun maverick#top gun maverick fan fic#top gun maverick fan fiction#top gun maverick imagine#Jake seresin#Jake seresin fan fic#Jake seresin fan fiction#Jake seresin imagine#Jake seresin x reader#Jake seresin x you#Jake seresin x y/n#Jake seresin x shy!wifey#Jake hangman seresin#hangman seresin#hangman#hangman fan fic#hangman fan fiction#hangman imagine#hangman x reader#hangman x you#hangman x y/n#hangman x oc#Jake seresin x oc#opposites attract things!
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I’ll crawl home to her
Alessia Russo x singer!reader
Warnings: robbed vows from fluffy fluff
You were sat in your studio sighing as the blank page in-front of you began taunting you, the hours seemed to tick by. The clocks ticking metronome played in your head as you cursed yourself for not bing able to think of words that described the feelings swirling around your stomach and for a moment you thought would words ever be able to describe the feeling you had for your soon to be wife.
Alessia Russo was a girl you had known for many years and loved for many more and come 2 pm tomorrow you would be able to love forever and a day. Alessia had begged and begged for you both to incorporate vows into the ceremony and you stupidly thought that being a singer/songwriter it would come naturally to you yet here you were six hours until your mother would be banging on your door to get you up and ready and no vows had made their way on to the blank page.
You threw the pencil across the room before resting your head in your hands, your fingers tapping to the beat of the clock before looking up and sighing, the clock seemed to beat a second faster then usual and you shook your head as you tried to regain your focus on the task at hand only the little voice in the back of your head wouldn't shut up and you found yourself picking up your guitar tapping your foot in time to the clock you began strumming different chords trying to figure out the tune to whatever vision was filling your head. Slowly you moved from the guitar to the mixing table in your small home studio and began lining everything up before heading back over to your guitar picking it up and laying down the base chords for the song that had began playing in your head.
You were now stood at the top of the alter talking to Gio and Luca as they took up their roles of being your best men, being an only child and one of divorce left you lonely as a child, that was until a certain half Italian blonde footballer socked a ball right at your head and suddenly you had two brothers like you once wished for and a girl who found you at one of your darkest moments in life and some how showed you the light. You felt your breath hitch as the opening chords for hear comes the bride began on the organ as you turned finally looking at the many guests that had arrived, Alessia's side so full they seemed to spill into your side but you couldn't help but smile at your now mutual friends Mary sending you a thumbs up mouthing you've got this sat beside the rest of the lioness squad as you waved at all of them laughing as they waved excitedly back, before you turned to see Ella walking down the aisle smiling at her softly before your eyes were pulled to the blonde girl walking down behind her. Your eyes pricked with tears as you felt your lower lip wobble emotions began taking over as you felt to pairs of hands grab your should squeezing them. Your eyesight began to cloud with tears as Alessia approached pulling your hands to your face you tried desperately to wipe the falling tears stopping when you felt a soft hand grab your cheek, shaking your head you relaxed as Alessia pulled you into her body your head falling into the crook of her neck "Oh amore mia" you tried shaking your head softly kissing her neck as you pulled your head back from her "Im ok, I'm ok, sorry your just so gorgeous and I can't believe I'm marrying you but please promise me if this is a dream you won't wake me up." Alessia laughed stroking her thumb over your cheek "Its not a dream amore but I promise." you let out a breath turning to look at your guests "Sorry, but if you were marrying someone as amazing as her you would cry too" the church erupted in laughter, Alessia squeezing your hand softly as you nodded to the priest to begin.
You had both spent the ceremony hands locked together constantly sending soft squeezes here and there allowing the other to know you where ok. "Now the couple will read out their wedding vows." Alessia looked back at Ella as she passed her the card sighing she realised your hand before starting to speak "Y/n, amore mia, I promised you all those many years ago to be your guiding light in the darkness, here in-front of our friends and family I vow that to you again for you are the luce della mia vita when we were younger you told me give me your hand and i'll give you forever and today I vow to hold on to that hand forever and a day, quanto sono fortunato a chiamarti mia.” You felt your eyes prick with tears once more “oh Tesoro mia.” You let out a small sorry shaking your head before grabbing her hand “my Less, without you I am nothing and with you I am some how more then myself, I love you more then any metaphor can ever express, today is the day we get to start forever and although I can not promise you forever I can promise you that when death does take my hand, I will hold you with the other and promise to find you in every lifetime after” Alessia couldn’t help but let out a soft whimper trying not to cry “Do you Alessia Mia Teresa Russo take Y/n Y/L/n to be your lawfully wedded wife.” Alessia smiled happily at you “I do.” “And Y/n Y/m Y/l/n do you take Alessia Mia Teresa Russo to be your lawfully wedded wife” you pulled Alessia impossibly closer “I do.” The priest laughed at the excitement across both your faces “well then by the power vested in me you may now kiss your wife.” Pulling her face towards yours you spun Alessia dipping her lightly before passionately kissing her “ti amoe amore mia.”
You smiled looking around the sold out stadium as sweat caused your hear to stick to your forehead before strumming the guitar walking up to the microphone “Hi Wembly.” The crowd seemed to roar louder than before “I got one more song if you have time.” Once again they cheered as you strung out a few chords turning to look at the royal box “so for those of you who don’t know, I’m married.” You held up your left hand showing off your engagement and wedding rings “yep exactly.” You laughed at the cheers “to the most incredible woman, La mia luce guida.” You smiled at the royal box “hi mia ragazza dagli occhi azzurri.” You strummed the opening chords of the song you were about to play “at our wedding we wrote vows to one another and I’m only admitting this now but, I wrote mine the night before.” The crowd let out a laugh as you felt your cheeks redden “I couldn’t find the words to express how much I love her then, my girl I mean she’s my guiding light through my darkest days and so.” You looked back at the royal box smiling “so I procrastinated and I wrote this song that very night too and I’m going to play it for you here tonight for the first time.” The crowd let out a roar as you smiled eyes squinting as you searched for Alessia “words still aren’t enough to properly describe how much I love you but one thing I have told you before, that I speak about in this song is that not even death will be able to keep me from you in this life and all the rest to come I’m yours.” You smiled as you caught sight of your friends and family in the box, Alessia’s teammates shaking her gently at your words as she held her arms wrapped around your mum who from where you were standing both looked to be crying “so lessi .” You began strumming lightly again as your band began to count themselves in “no grave can hold my body down I’ll crawl home to you.” With that your band began playing and you sang the song you had written the night you had written your vows and all over again Alessia fell in love with you.
#awfc#woso#woso fanfics#woso one shot#woso imagine#woso blurbs#woso community#woso soccer#woso couples#woso x reader#alessia russo x y/n#alessia russo x you#alessia russo x reader#alessia russo#hozier#work song
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Two's A Crowd
College Bully! Leon Kennedy x fem! Reader
MDNI 18+
(Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5)
Description: College is proving to be a lot harder than you imagined. You cannot fail this math class. So when you've tried everything else, a well-known student is recommended to you by your professor for tutoring lessons, not really leaving you with much of a choice but to work with him.
Warnings: Not proofread, No Use of Y/N, Dub-Con, Unprotected Sex, Bullying, Yelling, Cursing
Tags: College AU, Bully! Leon, Shy! Reader, both are in their early 20's, Leon is Rude AF in the beginning, Loss of Virginity, Oral Sex, Fingering, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Additional Tags to be Added
Author's Note: I've been late posting this entire series 😭. i explained a bit when anon asked, but i LOST my compression gloves and got a new pair relatively quick on top of my $200 medication 💔 my wallet is in shambles guys
ANYWAYS thank you all for sticking around and bearing with me!! i kiss and hug everyone!! even though i haven't responded to comments lately, i read every single one and it always makes me giggle ♥️♥️
Cross-posted onto AO3
Chapter 5
The drive back to your university with your mom was excruciating. You hadn’t told anyone what’d happened which meant you had to keep a happy demeanor around them throughout the holidays up until now. Dread had settled in your stomach once the drive began and continued to spread the closer you got, similar to when you’re headed to the doctors or the dentist, just a million times worse.
Texting Ella and Sky had helped a surprising amount, turning the majority of your anxiety into rage. Ella was furious when she found out, so her fury, and Sky’s, quickly became yours.
They hyped you up, ready to be at your side and assist in tearing “that shitty fratfuck” to shreds. The support meant so much after everything, especially after the reality of it all set in; you’d seen the picture via snapchat from someone you didn’t know, so how many others had seen it?
Your worst fear was being seen as easy, being used like you were. But you weren’t, were you? Your friends had made sure to try and convince you otherwise, you had to give them that, yet even with the facts laid out in front of you, it was still hard to divert your thoughts away from that ever-looming self-doubt.
Seeing the campus come into view only served to solidify those thoughts and feelings. No matter what Sky and Ella had tried or are willing to do for you, it just wasn’t enough to fix what’s been done.
Your mom helped you bring your suitcase up to your dorm, giving you a tight hug and a kiss on the temple before saying goodbye and heading on her way. Playing okay around your family all winter break was exhausting, so you just chose to sit in silence on your bed instead of unpacking your stuff. Always prepared, you wanted to get here a few days early, using unpacking and settling back in as an excuse, when really you just needed time to collect yourself before the inevitable happened.
He was here, and you were sure he’d seek you out eventually once he spotted you, or maybe when one his friends did and the word made its way back to him. Whichever way it happened, you knew it’d be unfavorable.
“Hey,” Ella’s voice from the doorway caught your attention, “you look miserable..” How hadn’t you heard the door open?
“I am miserable, but uh.. let’s just pretend I’m not, okay?” You replied, barely cracking a smile as you glanced up at her.
She gave you a weak laugh in return, letting the door close as she slowly sauntered over to you, plopping down right next to you on the edge of the bed. “Fine, yeah. You haven’t shown me your schedule yet, by the way.”
“Oh, right-” you paused to reach over and grab your bag, rifling through the various papers in there until finally pulling out the schedule you printed out a couple weeks back. “It’s mostly the classes that aren’t fun.” You stopped to look at your schedule for a brief moment before passing the paper over to Ella, who quickly snatched it from your hand.
She squinted dramatically, holding the paper only a couple inches away from her face. “Yeaaah, these aren’t the best. At least it looks like you’ll have the majority of your pre-reqs out of the way for next year though.” Her observation made you chuckle with a nod.
“Which is what I’m trying to do. Work myself to the bone now, chill out later.”
“Don’t kill yourself trying to do everything in one fell swoop.”
“I promise I won’t Ella, this is just how I-” A knock on the door drew both yours and Ella’s attention away from each other, an immediate scowl settling on her face. You wanted to ask, but it seems she already knew what you were going to say, quickly shushing you in a hushed voice, “Sky won’t be here until tomorrow night. Don’t answer that.”
You paused, thought for a moment, then nodded once with pursed lips. Ella was a pretty serious person, the mom of the group you could say, so when she pulled that tone, you knew better than to test it. Besides, you didn’t want to see who or what was on the other side of the door, you needed more time.
The next day was a little better, if uneventful. You finally brought yourself to unpack your suitcase, a chance to reorganize everything since you’d gotten a few new things over the holidays. Ella stuck close, bringing food up and into your dorm to take advantage of the empty mini fridge while the two of you binge watched a few random movies.
You stayed cozied up in your bed, having already mapped out and memorized your walking path for each class; longer, less foot traffic to and from. All you had to do was get through the rest of this year, that’s all. Little extra walking never hurt anyone, right?
When classes actually started, the long and complicated walks actually worked for a time; no one gave you strange looks, no one tried to talk to you, and it was pretty quiet. Scenic. But everyone knows everything good must come to an end eventually, and of course it had to be when you were just starting to forget all of this mess.
He caught you between classes. Scenic walks backfired massively when you realized there wasn’t anyone else around on that part of campus. Guess you didn’t think this one all the way through.
You couldn’t help but notice he looked pretty roughed up, sporting a few bruises along his cheekbone, a split lip, and a healing black eye. Seems he’s been busy over winter break.
“Listen, please listen-” Leon pleaded, holding his hands out in a weak attempt to trap you in the hallway. All this did was make you even more uncomfortable. “I know what I did was wrong, but I was not the one who sent that picture around, I swear.” You just stood in place after a few tries to get around him, giving him an almost bored stare. He didn’t really expect to finally catch you, so he stumbled over his words as he continued to ramble.
“I-.. I’m so, so sorry for doing that to you,” he slowly lowered his hands back down to his sides once he was sure you’d stay to listen, “I know that what I did was terrible, and I mean it when I say that I am sorry. I wish there was a way to turn back time and undo it, but I can't. I can't even explain why I did it in the first place, but that's not an excuse. I just- I messed up big time and I was- am stupid for letting it happen.”
To you this seemed sincere, but you really couldn’t be sure and it was safe to assume it wasn’t. Leon managed to trick you for months, who’s to say this wasn’t a trick as well?
Your look turned skeptical, crossing your arms tightly against your chest with a shaky breath. Despite handling this better than you thought you would, it was still nerve wracking having this kind of talk.
“I'm not good at this, but I'm more than willing to do whatever it takes to make things right, if that's even possible..” Leon breathed out, panting as he tried to catch his breath after talking so fast. “I managed to uh-.. to find everyone who had the picture and I made them delete it.”
“I made them delete the picture.” He repeated, taking another moment to breathe before suddenly looking down to yank something out of his pocket. “I-I got your uh-.. these-”
Seeing him hold up your panties so casually made you gasp, immediately looking around the hallway to make sure it was still empty before shooting him a glare, whispering a harsh “Put them back! Put them back!” which made him scramble to hide them in his pocket again.
“Right- right, sorry! Sorry…” Leon was sweating at this point, growing increasingly anxious under your gaze. He didn’t want to mess this up any further, but man he was doing a pretty shitty job at that right now.
His hands were shoved into his pockets as well, both of you blushing with embarrassment, and also shame on Leon’s part. Once he managed to slow his breathing, he started to talk again, a noticeable frown tugging at the corner of his lips. “You don’t.. have to forgive me or anything, I just wanted to make sure you knew that hardly anyone knows and-” His adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed dryly, turning his head to the side to look at the wall, “.. and that I’m sorry. I really do like you, I guess I just took a little too long to realize it…”
You made another quick glance over your shoulder before looking back at the man trembling in front of you who was still avoiding your gaze. You wanted to hate him so bad, so bad, but it was hard when all you could see was the Leon who was so sweet, the Leon who let you cry to him when the weight of the world was on your shoulders and made you feel so wanted and loved.
“Can we-” you cleared your throat and pulled the strap of your backpack further up onto your shoulder, rocking back and forth on the balls of your feet. “Can we talk later, maybe? Like, in my dorm? I don’t want anyone overhearing any of this..”
Leon perked up when he heard you talk, pulling his hands from his pockets to nervously rake his fingers through his hair, which was now partially damp from the sweat beading off his forehead. “Oh- OH! Yeah, of- of course, yeah, I’m sorry I didn’t- I just needed to-”
You waved your hands in front of your chest, shutting him up so he didn’t spill any further. "And throw those away." He nodded silently, wiping a hand down his face until it settled right in front of his lips, probably knowing he was talking too much at this point.
There was one more class you needed to go to that day, so you hurried off after telling him to wait outside your dorm until you were done, and he promised he would. Very adamantly, too. At least he held true to his words, standing in the hallway right in front of your dorm room like a lost puppy when you turned the corner. It was cute for a second, though annoyance quickly replaced that feeling as you walked over and let him in.
You weren’t exactly ready to have a full blown talk, but then again, no one ever was. What made it easier was your roommate never returned that semester, assuming she dropped out, so you basically had the whole dorm to yourself for the rest of the year. Or until someone had a roommate issue and needed a change. Didn’t really matter to you at that point.
There was really only one thing on your mind and that was getting Leon to explain this whole ordeal to you. You needed detail, clarification, anything to help you understand what’d been going on behind your back during that time. And he did, telling you just about everything he could; who suggested the bet, who roped him into the idea, the second guessings he had since the start, how he could’ve done literally anything else to avoid the way it all played out, everything.
Obviously you couldn’t just forgive him like that, even though he kept telling you how sorry he was and how terrible he felt about it. You wanted to forgive him, but you weren’t ready, and he understood that. He would’ve been satisfied with any response you gave him, so having been given the chance to really explain and have you listen was more than enough in his eyes.
“And just so you know, my friends aren’t going to let you off the hook,” you pulled your legs up so you were sitting criss-cross on the bed, looking across at Leon who was sitting on the bed opposite of yours.
“Yeah, I know..” he chuckled awkwardly, reaching a hand back to rub at the nape of his neck. “I was honestly expecting them to jump me, but they just give me evil looks whenever they see me.”
You couldn’t help but let out a small laugh, making a mental note to question Sky and Ella about that later. “You’ll never get nice looks from them again and I won’t be vouching for you.”
Leon nodded, silence blanketing the room as you’d finally run out of things to discuss. Though it was awkward, it was nice to have him hanging around again. “Anyways,” you started, standing up from your bed slowly as you vaguely gestured towards the door, “I need to study, sooo…”
“Oh, yeah, totally, uhm..” he followed suit, standing up from the other bed before sauntering over to the door as you held it open for him. He walked out and turned around almost instantly, a small smile suddenly appearing on his face once his eyes met yours, his arms jerking upwards slightly as if to suggest a hug.
“Don’t push it.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
tags:
@kayotee4 @k-fallingstar @bobastayhigh @mi-zer-y @chasingkennedy @l30nva @espressonerd @jjouki @5tarx @bunnybreadloaves @whoisgami @cyanscribe @c4b3r1a @darichvep @mmmangel @kingtacocat @klee-iii @baby--vera @dakiniii @kenma-izhu @aliidarling @leonsmamacita @deadghxsty @nekoheist @dumbassmortal @cassiecasluciluce @iovewilliams @maeplayscello @deddiemunsonsblog @paranoid-but-android @mariesmain @tteokhwaa @bonnibuckets @eilonwykennedy @1dk-anym0r3 @papatyacikcik @animesnowstorm @lexi-zsy09 @mylifedoesntexist @ifeellikedying @yourmommylol04 @ravioli19 @dakiniii @papichulo120627
(few of your blogs won't pop up, i tried though 😩)
#college au my beloved#resident evil#bully leon#leon kennedy x reader#leon kennedy#leon kennedy x you#leon s kennedy x reader#leon s kennedy x you#leon scott kennedy x reader#leon s kennedy#leon kennedy smut#leon s kennedy smut#leon kennedy fic#leon kennedy fanfic#leon scott kennedy#re4 leon#re4#resident evil leon#leon scott kennedy x fem reader#leon scott kennedy x you#leon s kennedy x fem!reader#multichapter#multi chap fic
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EAT ME UP - JAKE SIM
— synopsis: in which jake knows you’re bad for him, but he just can’t help himself. after all, in the end, the answer is always you. nobody else matters. not even the guy you’re seeing, his friend, sunghoon.
— word count: 20.1k
— warnings: cursing, cheating, sexual relationships, mental health problems, alcohol problems, no smut but things can get heated, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!
— featuring: sunghoon, heeseung, jay, aespa ningning, a bit of riize wonbin, mentions of zb1 matthew, girl named ella (fictional)
— genre: fwb, angst, bits of fluff, unrequited love, jake x fem!reader x sunghoon
— playlist: sex - eden, fever - enhypen, bad idea right? - olivia rodrigo, why’d you only call me when you’re high? - arctic monkeys, cologne - beabadoobee, heartbeat - childish gambino
— a/n: this is 100% fiction i don’t think jake is/would be a cheater. this was a monster to complete im just glad it’s over with lol
— taglist: @yyawnjun @lovingvoidgoatee @capri-cuntz
i. HOW DARE YOU, BABY
Sweat formed on your forehead as condensation dripped down your cup. The heat of 30 bodies all condensed into a two bedroom house located just off of campus wasn’t anything new— yet this time it felt almost suffocating. The sequins on your red dress scratched against your skin while you lazily danced to the loud music blasting through the house. It was a Friday night. You had to let all your stress from the week out somehow.
As you went to take another drink from the red solo cup in your left hand, your lips were met with only small remnants of the drink you had poured for yourself earlier. You looked into the cup to find nothing remaining. Rolling your eyes, you made sure to motion to your friend, Ningning, that you’d be headed to the kitchen to get yourself another drink. She nodded at you as you walked away.
Ningning wasn’t someone you could consider yourself best friends with. You didn’t have those. However, she was good for coming to parties with; she knew who to talk to and what to say. You always wanted to be closer to the girl, craving an actual bond between you two rather than just a party buddy. She gave good advice, let you stay over at her apartment multiple times, and seemed to actually care for you, even if you weren’t an open book. There had been times in which you’d almost let her in.
But it never actually happened. Deep down, you knew it’d probably be no good for you anyways.
Strands of hair stuck to the sweat on your forehead as you weaved your way through unfamiliar faces. The noise usually was a comfort for you; more talking from other people meant less listening to your own thoughts.
The surrounding music and conversations became a blur as you stumbled your way through a hallway that led to the kitchen on the left hand side. As you walked through the doorway, the noises became slightly more quiet.
You put some distance between the entrance to the room and yourself, finding a corner which was relatively empty and hoisting yourself onto the cool countertop. The second your thighs felt the chilliness of the spot, you let out a deep sigh. You glanced around the room for any familiar faces, but you were slightly too intoxicated to really make out anyone relevant. You rested your head against the wall for a few seconds before leaving your spot and walking up to the “bartender” who was manning the makeshift “bar”. He was someone you’d seen in passing a couple times off campus. You couldn’t remember his name, and you weren’t sure if it was because you were drunk or not.
“Hey again,” he smiled at you. This was probably your eighth drink of the night, and even though Ningning nagged on you about your lack of self control when it came to drinking, you always brushed her off. How would she know what’s good for you, anyways?
You looked at him with a half-assed smile before propping your elbows onto the top of the makeshift bar, “Heyyy..” you drawled out, with a hint of flirting in your tone.
“Back so soon?” He inquired, grabbing some alcoholic drinks from underneath the “bar”. He ran a hand through his raven-colored hair before looking back up at you, “I swore I just saw you ten minutes ago.”
He was a really good-looking guy. You gave him a flirtatious look, “Oh, you know me. Couldn’t stay away for too long.”
That was a lie. You knew that as the night started, you’d tell yourself “only one drink, to loosen up my mind”. But that never stuck around. You’d get another drink soon after, and as the night went on, there would be less time between each drink. You lost count of what number drink you were on a bit ago.
“You flatter me. It’s a shame, we never exchange much outside of parties. I’ve never met anyone as forward as you,” he laughed, then asking, “same thing as last time?”
You paused. You couldn’t remember what you got last time, and it was only ten minutes ago. Maybe this was your sign to stop for the night.
“Vodka tonic.”
The man nodded swiftly then turned around to make you your drink. Within moments, the drink was ready. You didn’t fail to notice how his hand brushed yours for longer than you expected while he handed you your drink.
“Don’t get sick, sweetheart.”
You playfully rolled your eyes as you got up from your spot, not failing to give the cute bartender a flirty wave as you headed back towards the entranceway to the room.
Before stepping out, you decided that you needed to just drink all of what was just given to you. The clock on the microwave had read 1:08 AM. You had nothing going on later today anyways. You may as well.
“Bottoms up,” you whispered before drinking the whole cup.
Stepping back into the haze of the crowd, you felt a new wave of warmth through your body, and this time it wasn’t the claustrophobic feeling of being in a group of unfamiliar faces. The alcohol quickly dispersed through your veins and you found yourself back where you’d last seen Ningning.
She was with a new crowd of people, but she hadn’t left her previous spot. You didn’t recognize a single face of the people who she was with, but as soon as you began to back away to find anyone else, she noticed you from the corner of her eye and introduced you to the group of people.
“Y/N! There you are,” she grabbed your arm and pulled you towards the group of people that she’d found, “guys, this is Y/N, Y/N, these are my friends from my journalism class.”
You were too busy not paying attention to engage in whoever was supposed to be filling the void of conversation. The vodka tonic was still working its magic, so in a quick moment, you were slipping away from the group and telling Ningning something along the lines of “I’ll see you later”. She gave you a confused look but didn’t push.
You found yourself down that same hallway as earlier, but this time you decided to take a right, which led you to a set of stairs. You usually weren’t one for snooping, but what’s wrong with poking around people’s houses every once in a while?
It was eerily quiet as you made your way up the stairs, the ambiance from the party dwindling down with every step you took upwards. At the landing, there was a hallway and three rooms: two bedrooms and one bathroom.
The hallway was narrow and dark; clearly, the host(s) had no intent of guests going up here. The bedroom at the end of the hallway was shut, and you were 99% sure that it was occupied by two random strangers hooking up. You couldn’t be too hateful, though, because you were also notorious for leaving parties with men you barely knew. Tonight, you weren’t sure if that was a goal you had in mind.
Next to the shut-doored bedroom, there was an unoccupied bathroom. You were surprised that you weren’t currently in there, hurling up every drink you downed tonight.
You finally brought your gaze to the room directly in front of you- it was the last bed room. The door was wide open and the lights were off, but there was a large window with its curtains drawn open despite the time of night. The window gave you a perspective of how late it was; even if the room was not lit by any electric lights, the moonlight was bright enough for you to make out a few items in the room.
Despite you telling yourself not to, you were so drawn in by the window that you ended up venturing into the room. You didn’t bother flipping on any light switches or anything, it would just be a quick peek anyways.
You wandered around the room a bit, taking note of a messy bed, an old desk, and a body-length mirror. You stopped in front of the mirror for a second to look at yourself. Your makeup was surprisingly still intact given how sweaty you had been the whole night, and your dress had something stained on the bottom of it. Someone probably spilled some drink on it and you had already forgotten.
Shaking your head, you headed to the window next. It was a window seat. You welcomed yourself into the center spot.
The window had a direct view of the backyard. It was a cold, gloomy night, so there was a lack of presence outside of the house. You pressed your burning cheek against the cool glass and brought your opposite hand to your forehead, cursing yourself. The rush from your last drink was already wearing off. You needed another drink.
You begrudgingly hoisted yourself up from your spot and stood. The doorway looked less enticing with every step. As you walked closer to the door, you caught sight of a figure coming up the steps. You wouldn’t have enough time to leave the room without being caught for snooping. As shit as this party was, you didn’t want to get kicked out.
You did the next best thing and you crouched down right next to the bed, out of sight of the doorway.
The figure quickly entered the room and shut the door quietly before sitting at the foot of the bed, facing the window. If this person turned their head slightly to the left, you’d be spotted. You held your breath.
The person got up and walked to the window seat, not yet sitting down. You got a good look at them, as their face was lit up by the moonlight.
He was around your age, donned in a pair of black cargo pants and a white hoodie. You’d never seen him before. He had a certain curious nature about him, not only because he was unknown to you, but because he was someone was just as passive as you were at this party.
The man let out an exasperated sigh, eyes not once leaving the nighttime view. He took off his sweatshirt to reveal a plain black T-shirt, it hugging his figure nicely as he tossed his sweatshirt just somewhere else in the room. You watched the sweatshirt land with a thud before you brought your attention back to the man, who was now opening the window to let in a cold breeze.
He let in a deep breath before turning his head towards the empty room, or to what he thought was an empty room.
When he’d opened the window, it’d let more moonlight spill into the room, revealing you from your not-so-secret hiding spot. Once he laid his eyes on you, you both looked like a deer in headlights.
“Hello?” He asked, confused.
You cleared your throat, “Hi. I swear I wasn’t stalking you.” You picked yourself up off of the floor, and sent him an awkward look.
“Wait, you don’t need to leave.”
You thought about it before deciding to either leave and go get another drink, or stay and talk to the stranger. You didn’t need another drink. You knew your body could only take so many more until you’d be unable to be conscious of anything. Plus, you always met new men at these parties, and usually ended up leaving with them. What’s the harm in getting to know a stranger rather than having just a one night stand with them?
You sat yourself down on the bed, facing the stranger. A moment of silence ensued before it was broken by him.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you before.”
You nodded, meeting his gaze, “Yeah, me neither. My name is Y/N.”
“Jake,” he returned, positioning himself so he could see you better, “what brings you up here?”
You quickly became defensive, “I usually don’t go and snoop around at parties if that’s what you’re insinuating-”
“No, no, no! That’s- that’s not at all what I meant,” Jake started, straightening himself, “It’s just that when I take a break from a large group of people, I don’t usually expect to find someone else off where I usually hide.”
You gave him an odd look, “Why do you go to parties if you only go hide, then?” You ran your fingers through a section of your hair, keeping your front strong.
“I like parties, don’t get me wrong,” he begins, getting up from the window seat. He closes and locks the window as he continues, “it’s just that sometimes, when I’m dragged to them against my own will, they lose any sort of fun that they have. May I?” He had made his way to the spot next to you on the bed, not yet sitting down because he wanted to test the waters first. You nodded, scooting over to make room for him. He sat down next to you, using both of his hands to lean on rather than sitting normally.
“I understand. I was just up here for that same reason, I guess. Not really,” you admitted, shrugging and then turning to the boy next to you, propping your hand on the bed towards him.
The amount of moonlight in the room had been lessened due to the fact that Jake closed the window, but his features will still well illustrated. He had big, wondrous eyes, and a full set of lips. His hair was long and unkempt- obviously messy from the heat of the party. You felt overdressed for the occasion in his presence, yet in a sense you still had enough pride to wear your skimpy dress even in the cold months of winter. You didn’t fail to notice how his eyes lingered on your lips as you studied him.
Lifting his gaze from your lips back to your eyes, he slowly responded, “Yeah. I know how you feel.”
You licked your lips before leaning in slightly closer to him, “Do you?” His eyes fell back down to your lips as you slightly held a pout after you asked him the taunting question. He let out a shaky sigh as the distance between you two decreased, and you felt his hot breath on your lips.
Jake had brought one of his hands towards your almost-exposed thigh and hovered over it until you took your own hand and placed his right on your thigh. Almost immediately, you grabbed his face and pulled him in for a kiss.
The kiss was hot, messy, and desperate. Jake repositioned himself so he could hold your waist, and you took the opportunity to move your hands to the nape of his neck. He tasted like alcohol, as did all of your hookups. You knew he was bound to be one the second he sat on the bed, but you didn’t mind. You welcomed him with open arms (and legs).
It was intoxicating. Alcohol aside, you felt a strange new feeling bubble in your chest while the two of you were kissing. You pulled him even closer, signaling that you wanted more.
He moved his hand from your thigh to your ass, grabbing it, which caused you to groan into his mouth, only egging him on further.
Moments later, a knock came from the bedroom door, separating you two. He motioned for you to hide on the floor next to the bed (ironically the exact spot he had found you in earlier) while he went to open the door.
He half-heartedly fixed his hair that you’d somehow made worse from when you first found him, straightened his clothes, and opened the door.
“Matthew? What’s up, man?” He greeted. It sounded like the two knew each other.
“Hey, Jake. I just wanted to come in here and make sure no one was getting busy on my bed, because the door was shut. I was mad worried, y’know?” ‘Matthew’ laughed air-headedly, Jake joining in.
“Yeah, I get it. But nah, nothing going on up here! I just needed a break from the noise, you know me,” Jake sent back, to which Matthew laughed and said, “Yeah man, it’s chill. Keep my room safe, okay?”
The two men did some sort of handshake before Jake closed the door again.
He wasted no time in closing the distance between you two again, asking, “Where were we?”
You slightly pushed him away, giving him a flirty look before crossing your way to the door, “We should probably leave.” You went to open the door, but Jake caught your wrist.
“Are you leaving? Like, the party?” He asked as nonchalantly as possible, but you could hear the desperation seeping through his words. You nodded, finally opening the door for the two of you.
“Oh, okay, cool. See you around, then?” Jake asked as you began descending the steps. You stopped in your tracks and turned around to meet his gaze, “What? Do you think you’re going to stay here? I thought that we had something to finish.”
Jake quickly got the hint as he stumbled (semi-awkwardly) down the steps towards you, following you as you went to find Ningning to tell her you were leaving with a boy.
You found her figure quickly, still drinking and still surrounded by the group you had last seen her with. When you tapped her shoulder, she quickly whipped around to find you and give you a smile. When she saw Jake, an indecipherable look plastered its way onto her face before she returned her gaze to you and gave you a hug. After the embrace, she whispered, “Be safe. Text me if you need me.”
You gave her a reassuring smile before grabbing Jake’s hand and leading him to the door of the house.
ii. HOURS LIKE MINUTES
That wasn’t the last time you and Jake ended up hooking up, in fact you had seen each other on the regular about a month or so into the endeavor.
You wanted to say that you knew who Jake was, but that would be a lie. You didn’t know much about him past his name and where he lived, and to be frank, you didn’t really care to. Sure, he was one of the more fun hookups, but after all, he was just a hookup. Nothing more. You assumed he felt the same way. You were terribly mistaken.
A couple months ago, a day or two after your most recent hookup, Jake had told you he wanted to talk to you. You agreed, figuring it was a harmless conversation that needed to be had, about scheduling or him being out of town for a bit.
When you arrived at his house on that fateful day, he greeted you at the front door, looking more cheerful than he usually was when he saw you. You walked in his apartment to find it empty, as usual, and he led you to the couch.
It started off casual and harmless. You had mentioned wanting to watch a certain movie in passing once, and he had rented it so you could watch it together. You assumed it would be a classic “movie and chill” moment with him. You’d done it before, you wouldn’t be surprised if it were to happen again.
However, as the movie progressed, neither of you had made any advances, which was odd for the two of you.
Thirty minutes in, nothing.
An hour in, nothing
An hour and a half in, nothing.
Finally, the movie eventually came to an end and still, as expected, nothing had happened.
As the credits rolled, Jake muted the TV and turned to you, “So…? What’d you think?”
You sat there and looked at him. For a good thirty seconds, at that. Saying nothing. Just looking. Jake began to look uneasy, gulping and asking, “Was it worth the watch?”
You finally answered him, “It was good, I guess. Nothing special.”
He looked slightly deflated but still kept up a happy demeanor, “Cool, cool. I thought so too.”
A silence consumed you two as you just looked at him. He was fidgeting, looking anywhere in the room but at you. You’d never seen him this blatantly nervous before, albeit most of the times you’d seen him, you were both intoxicated to some degree.
“Well,” you started, rising from your spot, “I guess I’ll get going then.”
Jake immediately rose from his spot, surprising you. He seemed anxious, quickly saying, “Why? Do you have somewhere to be?”
“No,” you told him, still gathering your things. You didn’t care if this hurt his feelings, you guys were fuck-buddies and nothing else. There was no time or room for any sort of relationship, nor any activities that could even barely resemble a date.
“Oh… then why are you leaving so soon?”
You stopped packing up the bag you brought over and stared at him before responding, “Jake, you asked me to come over to talk about something with you, and I get here, and what do you do? Put on some damn movie. Well, the movie’s over now, and you still look like you have no intent of even bringing up what you supposedly called me over to talk about. So I’m leaving.”
Jake walked over to you quickly and grabbed your wrist. Out of habit, you pulled it away, telling him that you weren’t in the mood.
“Listen, Y/N. Will you please just sit down and hear me out for like ten minutes?” He pleaded, and when you met his gaze, you sighed but gave in, “Fine. Ten minutes, and then I’m leaving.”
He motioned for you to sit back down, and once you did he followed suit.
“Y/N,” Jake started. The way he said your name sent chills down your spine. You had never heard him use a voice so serious, not even during sex. No matter how his voice made you feel, though, you made sure to keep a blank face as you listened to him.
“I probably shouldn’t even be doing this, to be honest. But, here goes nothing, I guess. Y/N, I don’t know at what exact point that this happened, but I developed feelings for you. Like genuine feelings. At some point, I stopped caring about the sex and it eventually just started to grow into excitement to see you, make you laugh, or even see you in passing.”
Seeing as you didn’t respond, he continued.
“Those talks we have before and after we hookup are some of my favorite moments. You’re so beautiful, and every single thing you do sends me into a slight spiral because I wonder how I was so lucky to even get a chance to be around you. I don’t even know all that much about you, Y/N, but the fact that we only see each other to hookup drives me crazy. I know this is a lot, but I’m just asking you to please, please give me a chance.”
His face was bright red, and yours had stayed unfaltering. You weren’t stupid, you had some idea of how Jake felt for you, but you never wanted to feed into it. You knew you never saw him that way, and you were hoping he would just never acknowledge it so you could stay the way you two were.
Fate never liked to work out for you, though.
You cleared your throat before grabbing his hand and looking him in the eye, “Jake. You’re a sweet guy, and hooking up with you has been super fun. But I’ve told you before, I don’t really do relationships. And, if I’m being honest with you, I really don’t feel that way towards you.”
He looked as if he was a little boy and you’d just purposefully popped his favorite balloon.
Alas, you continued, “You’re a great guy. But I don’t see you that way. Plus, I’ve told you before- I can’t keep hooking up with people if there’s feelings involved.”
He gulped again. This time, instead of nervousness, he looked like he was swallowing back tears.
“I think it’d be best if we stopped seeing each other.”
You finally dropped the bomb on him, giving his hand one squeeze before dropping it. You grabbed your bag from the couch and slipped on your shoes, making your way out of his apartment. You didn’t have to look back at him to know he was upset.
That day was around four months ago now. Ever since that day, you hadn’t seen Jake, and had no intentions of seeing him.
It didn’t matter what he was up to anyways, you’d been seeing this new guy, Park Sunghoon, from your accounting class. You met a month or two ago after being partnered up for a project with two other people. Any time the group made plans to work on the project together, the other two people always made up some random excuse as to why they wouldn’t be there, so you and Sunghoon became close in a short time period.
Sunghoon was different from a lot of guys that you’d met. He was quiet, introverted, and majorly unreadable. He was an extremely popular guy, but he never let it get to his head. Sunghoon never just talked to talk, he always had something to say that was worth some sort of meaning. He was unbelievably attractive, too, so of course you two hooked up very early on. But what drew you in the most about Sunghoon was that he wasn’t like all your other fuck-buddies.
For one, you and Sunghoon had established a somewhat friendship before hooking up the first time, rather than just blindly meeting each other while fucked up at a party. Sunghoon wasn’t like the other guys.
Another reason he was different was because he knew his boundaries. He and you both knew when to stop, when to make sure you were treading the line between friends-with-benefits to having feelings, and how to leave you alone just enough to have you feeling the same lust every time you hooked up. Sunghoon wasn’t Jake. Jake never knew boundaries. He was blind and stupid. Sunghoon knew better.
You and Sunghoon had been seeing each other for some time now, but had never actually been to an outing together. You’d met some of his friends; you were quite familiar with Heeseung. He and Ningning had been dating for about a month now, after going back and forth with each other for weeks on end prior to them getting together.
You were supposed to all have met at Heeseung and Sunghoon’s shared apartment at 6:30 PM, and you and Ningning had just arrived at 6:17 PM. She picked you up in her new car, offering to let you be the first person you drove in it. You took her up on the offer, and were even able to make it early to the apartment, which you were grateful for.
As you two unloaded yourselves from her car, you were met with a text from Sunghoon:
sunghoon 💨☺️ : hey are u guys oyw
You quickly sent him one back:
you : yeah
you : walking up to ur apartment’s entrance rn actually
Within a few seconds, you and Ningning were met with the sight of Heeseung. The boy’s apartment was on the third floor, and he had bounded all the way down the steps to meet you guys at the bottom landing.
“Hello,” Ningning offered, grabbing her boyfriend’s hand. He said nothing back as he took the two of you upstairs to the apartment, the door already open.
The next time you peeked at the clock was when you entered the doorway, and it read 6:22 PM. At the sound of you entering, Sunghoon left his bedroom and found you in the living room.
“You’re here early,” he teased, holding you from behind.
“You’re so touchy,” you craned your neck to look at him and found him already smiling at you.
“What, am I not allowed to be touchy with you? You of all people-” you elbowed him lightly to get him to shut up before turning around in his grasp, “I never said I didn’t like it.”
Sunghoon ruffled your hair before returning to his room. It seemed like Heeseung and Ningning had also retreated to his room for the time being, so you followed Sunghoon into his room.
When you walked in, he was putting some papers away into a desk, so you took the opportunity to immediately flop onto his bed. You weren’t worried about how your hair would look. You were only with Sunghoon, and you knew he had a comb laying around here somewhere.
He quickly made his way to his bed, leaning over you, “You look nice.”
“Thanks, I try.”
He sat down next to your figure and soon also flopped back. You wasted no time in turning towards him and messing with his hair, his ears, any part of his face that was accessible at the moment. Sunghoon kept swiping your hands away, soon getting tired of your antics and grabbing your wrists so you would stop. He evilly smiled at you, getting up so he could pin your hands down to the bed.
Suddenly, their doorbell buzzed. Sunghoon groaned as he got up from your playful wrestling match and told you to comb your hair before yelling, “Coming!”
You sat up and patted most of your hair down, but got up anyways to find the comb.
“I don’t need to comb my hair,” you mumbled as you took a look at yourself in the mirror. As you turned to look at the back of your hair, though, you sighed in defeat, “okay, never mind, I do.”
You started looking for the comb near his bed, and then his dresser, then near his desk, and you even peeked in his closet. It was nowhere to be found.
Maybe he hadn’t left it in his room? It was probably in the bathroom, which was all the way across the apartment. It was a bother to go get it, but you needed it. You grabbed your phone and small handbag that you’d brought to his room and ventured out into the apartment. From down the hallway, it sounded like the boys and Ningning had let in whoever else was joining you tonight, so even if you went to go get the comb, you’d need to meet them at some point anyways. May as well be now rather than never.
As you made your way into the living room, you saw the figures of Sunghoon, Heeseung, Ningning, and three other people. The three had their backs faced to you, so you couldn’t exactly tell who they were or what they looked like. Your entrance grabbed the attention of everyone, and you waved to the unfamiliar faces that you could see.
One of them was a boy, you couldn’t remember his name, but you knew you’d seen his face in pictures before. He was Sunghoon’s childhood friend or something along those lines. You would probably be better off not knowing his childhood friend’s name. Sure, Sunghoon was fun to mess around with, but you had to make sure neither of you treaded too closely to the “catching feelings” line.
The other girl looked around your age, maybe a year younger. She was extremely pretty and had a beautiful smile. Her hair was long, black, and it cascaded down her back like a waterfall. You hated to admit it, but you were slightly envious of her. It didn’t matter, though, because you really had no interpersonal relationship. She was just some girl who you’d probably never see again.
The second you caught sight of the third figure, you felt your heart slightly drop. As soon as you made eye contact, you made a point to walk as quickly to the bathroom as you could. Suddenly you really needed that comb.
You trapped yourself in the bathroom for a minute or two, letting every thought you had ram into you like a freight train. You didn’t care that Sunghoon brought friends over. This wasn’t the first time you’d met some friends of his, and it wouldn’t be the last. You didn’t even care that out of all people, Jake was there. You didn’t ever see him that way, and seeing him tonight, after months, definitely wouldn’t change anything.
What you did mind, however, was that Jake and Sunghoon knew each other. Or, even worse, they were friends. You had every intention of never seeing Jake again after you cut things off, and majorly, until today, you were successful. And of course, against all odds, he was going out with you all tonight.
To be frank, you weren’t terrified of the idea of Jake returning to your life; he was a nice guy. You didn’t mind having him around as a “friend” back when you did regularly see him, but it was what went beyond that that drove you away. You were sure he wasn’t too thrilled to see you either.
It would be fine, though. As long as you both ignored what happened in the past, everything would blow over just fine. Plus, there was a chance that the unfamiliar girl was with him. It would be good for the both of you if he had moved on.
Moments later, you were met with a knock on the door, followed by Sunghoon saying, “Everything okay?”
You unlocked the bathroom door and peeped your face through the crack, “All good. Just, uh, can’t find the comb.”
“Hey, it’s okay, I have a spare,” he tried to open the door, but you wouldn’t budge.
“Please let me in my own bathroom.”
This time you complied, shutting the door again after he entered, and he opened up the cabinet above the toilet to find his extra comb. Once located, he handed it over to you, watching you as you combed your hair in the mirror. He started, “All ready?”
You begrudgingly nodded and he exited the bathroom with you trailing behind.
Sunghoon led to you the group that was all now sitting on the couch and chairs surrounding his and Heeseung’s living room coffee table. You scanned the living area for a seat, noting that the only one available was on the other side of Jake. That idea was immediately scrapped. Once you stood next to Sunghoon, he introduced you to the group.
“Everybody, this is Y/N. Y/N, that’s Jay,” he pointed to the familiar boy from the pictures, “that’s Ella,” he motioned to the beautiful girl next to Jay, “and that’s Jake. Ella’s boyfriend.”
You nodded and waved slowly at the new faces, making sure not to pay any mind to Jake at all. It didn’t matter if this action hurt his feelings, he had a girlfriend now. He could go cry to her about it.
“Hi,” you started, “nice to meet you all.”
You finally decided to make eye contact with Jake after saying this, even if it wasn’t nice to meet him again. At least not in this situation. Immediately after locking eyes with you, Jake put his arm around Ella’s shoulder.
Heeseung was the next person to speak:
“Who wants some alcohol?”
The tension around the group began to dissipate when Heeseung got up to get the drinks, leaving his spot next to Ningning open. As you commandeered his spot, Sunghoon trailed behind you to stand behind the couch. He seemed to do that a lot.
You looked up at Sunghoon, saying, “Someone should probably help Heeseung with the drinks.”
He nodded, and Jay also quickly stood up to join the other two in the kitchen.
This left you, Ningning, and Ella. And Jake.
The couple quickly engaged in their own conversation before Ningning was able to elbow you in the side and whisper in your ear, “Didn’t you used to hook up with him?!”
You nodded briefly, widening your eyes quickly at the situation. She sent you a sympathetic smile and put her hand on your knee. In the past few months, you’d let yourself become closer with Ningning, which was a blessing for you. Even if you weren’t all that close, you still had her as a friend. It definitely helped that her boyfriend’s roommate was the guy you were seeing.
In a quick moment, Jake also stood up and went to the kitchen to help with drinks. In a sense, you kind of missed him. Sure, you didn’t miss his clingy nature, or the fact that he was the reason that you two fell apart, but he really was a good guy. Of course, there were times when you also missed having him in bed with you.
Ella looked nervous and adjusted her dress — a blue dress — before giving you and Ningning an awkward smile. You doubt she knew about you and Jake, and was probably just an anxious person. Even if she did know, though, it didn’t matter. Because what you and Jake had was in the past.
Ningning broke the silence first, “So, Ella, you and Jake? How’s that going?”
She smiled. God, she was absolutely stunning. You knew your own self value, but she was something else. She looked like the type of girl that beautiful poetry was written about. The blue dress she wore complimented her skin tone and brought out her best features. You had to give it to her, she really knew how to dress to the nines.
“It’s great,” she fawned, taking a peek over at his figure in the kitchen, “we’ve been dating for a couple months now, and he’s just so great.”
“Wow,” Ningning replied, “I’m happy for you guys!”
You nodded, adding, “How’d you two meet?”
“We were at the same party and Jay set us up,” she laughed, “I remember Jay telling me in our physics class that his ‘friend needed a new slate for dating’ and how he knew I was single, so he set us up at a party! I’m really happy he did, too.”
The new slate for dating of course meant you. You had forgotten about Jay and Jake sharing an apartment together, and obviously because of that, Jay knew who you were and what you did to Jake. More like what had happened, but you cursed yourself for forgetting that Jay was someone that knew both Jake and Sunghoon.
“Well, congrats!” Ningning smiled back at her, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. Ella had turned her back on you two to watch the boys make drinks again, and in that moment, Ningning gave you the biggest “what the fuck??” look you’d ever seen in your life. You simply shrugged in return.
Not long after, the boys returned with drinks, ready for you all to pregame for the night ahead of you. You opted to just do straight Vodka shots with orange juice as a chaser to get yourself going. You watched Sunghoon take a few shots of Fireball before smiling at you and grabbing at your ears. That was a little habit you two had started doing: grabbing each other’s ears to mess with the other. You kind of realized that it could come off as a bit flirty, so you tried to hold back on doing it often, but sometimes it came to you like a second nature.
“Stop touching me,” you whined at him, swatting his hands off your ears.
“I can’t help it,” he cooed at you, “you just look so cute.”
Here it comes, flirty Sunghoon. It didn’t take very long for him to become tipsy, and when he did, he’d become a flirt. It was flattering, but when you were trying to get sloshed and you had him following you around like a dog, it could become extremely annoying.
You didn’t miss how Jake was watching you and Sunghoon’s interaction, even with Ella sitting right next to him.
Eventually, once everyone had finished pregaming, the Ubers to take you seven to the club had arrived at the apartment. You started grabbing your handbag and as you went to grab your phone, you realized you’d accidentally left it in the bathroom.
“Don’t wait up for me, I’ll just be a second,” you said to Sunghoon and Ningning as you walked to the bathroom to get your phone. The two listened, so once you returned to the living space, you noticed that the only three people left in the apartment were, including you, Jake and Heeseung.
You made a beeline for the door, but Jake was quickly on your heels. Heeseung stayed back to lock up the apartment.
As you descended the steps attempting to avoid Jake, you failed, as he caught up to you and started a conversation, “Hi.”
“Hey,” you replied half-heartedly. Either Jake couldn’t tell that you didn’t want to talk or he simply didn’t care, because he continued:
“So you and Sunghoon, huh?”
He sounded a bit hurt, but you weren’t going to feed into it. You promptly replied, “Yep. You have a girlfriend now, isn’t that crazy? How the times change.”
Jake nodded awkwardly, gulping, and then starting again, “Yeah, she’s cool. She’s not you though.”
You shook your head at him. It was unbelievable how much audacity he had to say that. Especially on the first day of seeing each other again. You cut him off for a reason, you reminded yourself.
“Yep.”
You ended the conversation there as you exited the apartment building, finding Sunghoon on the sidewalk. He gave you a confused look.
“Do you guys know each other?”
You pondered for a second before replying:
“Something like that.”
iii. LIKE A CRIMINAL
Exactly one day later, you found yourself at Sunghoon and Heeseung’s apartment, looking for your fling. You two had made plans to go drive out to see some of your mutual friends, and he was going to meet you at his place, but you had beaten him there.
He had told you where the hidden key was located, because you were notorious for showing up unannounced, and especially in this occasion he trusted you to house sit. Plus, you had expected him to be home in about ten minutes, like he’d texted you.
What you didn’t expect was to see Jake lying on the couch when you walked in. His head immediately shot up when he heard you enter. You gave him an extremely confused look before saying, “I’m just gonna go to Sunghoon’s room and wait for him to get here.”
You sped past him yet heard him say, “Wait, Y/N!”
You paid him no mind as you situated yourself on Sunghoon’s bed, lying down and pulling out your phone to text him:
you : i broke in again
Within moments, he replied:
sunghoon 💨☺️ : not surprised
sunghoon 💨☺️ : there’s a car accident but im on my way
sunghoon 💨☺️ : it’s looking like it’ll still be 10 mins though i will be speedy for u
you : my hero! 😮😮
You put your phone down and you were met with the sight of Jake standing in Sunghoon’s doorway. As if on cue, you sighed. It’d been a whole one day since you saw him last and he couldn’t leave you alone. It was like your own personal Hell.
You couldn’t deny that he looked really good though.
Jake approached you slowly and with caution, “Sorry about what I said yesterday. About Ella not being you. It was weird, and I was tipsy, so I’m sorry.”
You raised your eyebrows at the man in front of you. You sat up and tilted your head at him, “You’re.. forgiven.”
He sent you a small smile before pulling up a chair to sit across from you on. You checked the time on your phone before looking back at him. It had to be only about eight-ish minutes until Sunghoon arrived.
Jake spoke next, “It’s nice to see you again.”
You nodded at him, “It’s been a bit.”
He smiled at you, “It’s definitely odd for me to see you with Sunghoon now, but he’s a good guy.”
You shrugged, “I don’t know if you could consider him someone I’m ‘with’ right now, he’s kind of just a fuck-buddy. He’s very sweet though, you’re right.”
“Homie hopping, I see,” Jake teased you from across the room. You hated to admit it, but you did really miss being around him. You’d forgotten how he knew just how to press your buttons, tease you, and make you feel just as annoyed as you did lustful.
You playfully shoved his shoulder from across him.
“I miss us,” you admitted, “not because I’m unhappy with Sunghoon, but having you around was always nice. Sometimes I wish we could go back to the way things were.”
“I feel the same,” Jake replied instantly. It was almost as if he’d been waiting for you to say that. However, before formulating his next sentence, he took a pause. His next sentence was barely spoken above a whisper:
“Maybe it could.”
You furrowed your eyebrows at him. Did he say what you thought he did?
“What?”
Jake slowly got closer to you, and you felt yourself transported back four months. God, he always knew how to make you feel weak in the knees. Sunghoon did too, but it was different. You had really liked messing around with Jake.
In the next moment, you could feel Jake’s lips almost on your own. Your heart skipped a beat.
“Maybe it could,” it was barely louder than last time, but this time it rung through your whole body. You found yourself grabbing one of his arms, almost feeding into the past with him.
You two broke apart as soon as you heard the door open. You motioned for Jake to hide behind the bed frame while you went to talk to Sunghoon, as he had just arrived. How ironic.
“Hello, Y/N,” he smiled, ruffling your hair slightly, “did you miss me all too much?”
“Not even a little bit,” you teased, going up behind him and smacking his ass. He immediately whipped around and you slipped away and ran to the living room, laughing.
“You’re such a bother,” he cornered you between the table and the wall, ready to grab you whenever you decided to try and run away.
You screamed as he once again chased you, and once he finally caught you, he picked you up and took you to the couch.
“Get your shoes on,” he ordered, “we should probably get going soon.”
You complied, rising from the couch and patting down your hair, “You’re really good at messing up my hair,” you complained sarcastically from across the room.
“Damn right, I am.”
You slipped on your sneakers and met Sunghoon at the door of the apartment.
“Ready to go?” he asked, to which you nodded.
You both left the building and bounded down to his car outside of the apartment.
As you neared the car, you couldn’t push away the guilt that was eating you alive from what happened with Jake. Sure, you and Sunghoon weren’t exclusive or anything serious, but it still felt wrong in a way. You and Jake were meant to be left in the past.
Around five minutes later, you receive a text:
unknown number : hey
You stared at it, confused, before responding:
you : who is this
The number wasted no time to respond:
unknown number : take a wild guess
unknown number : :)
You rolled your eyes, immediately knowing who it was, wondering how he obtained your number:
you : jake how the fuck did you get my number
You swiftly changed the contact name, then waited for a response. Sunghoon looked over at you, “Are you good?”
Caught off guard, you stumbled over your words, “Yeah, yeah, I’m goo- I’m great. Why wouldn’t I be?” He furrowed his eyebrows at you before turning his gaze back to the road, “You’re a bad liar.”
Suddenly, Jake responded:
do not answer : doesn’t matter
do not answer : i have a question though
You rolled your eyes, typing a response:
you : what
As if on cue, he texted back:
do not answer : what was that earlier
do not answer : in sunghoon’s room
do not answer : and do not fucking say nothing
You silently sighed and then formulated a message:
you : i don’t know, let’s just forget about it
His end went silent suddenly. You chewed your lip nervously, awaiting a response. You didn’t need one, you knew that. But knowing him, he wouldn’t let you have the last word. Especially not in this situation.
About an hour later, you received a final message:
do not answer : can you meet me tonight
iv. A FIRE BURNS INSIDE ME
You knew you were making a big mistake. It was a horrible idea: agreeing to meet Jake in secret. You really didn’t know why you made such stupid decisions sometimes; it was like you were your own worst enemy.
But here you were, at 10pm, quietly knocking on Jake’s apartment door. He had told you that Jay staying with his parents as he went to visit them out of town, and obviously there would be no trace of Ella there. You felt bad for the girl, knowing that you were meeting up with her boyfriend in private. Plus, with the whole bedroom incident earlier, you would need to tread lightly. You were going to make sure that nothing happened.
You waited at the door for another minute before Jake opened it quickly and ushered you in, “I have neighbors who know Ella, so I can’t have them getting the wrong idea if you’re here.”
Right. Funny.
He shut the door behind you quickly, leading you to the couch in his living room. The last time you were on this couch was the last time you ever planned on seeing Jake.
You opted on taking a seat on one side of the couch after Jake sat himself on the other. He smiled at you from his spot, trying to ease your nerves about behind there alone with him.
“Do you want something to drink?” He asked. He knew you well.
You smirked, “A glass of red wine would be lovely.”
He got up from his seat on the couch and quickly made his way to the kitchen. Your eyes trailed his figure before it went out of sight. Taking a deep breath, you checked your phone, a couple messages dancing across your screen.
From Sunghoon:
sunghoon 💨☺️ : no
sunghoon 💨☺️ : but i can try to work something out
From Ningning:
ningning : okay i can pick you up if you’d like
From an attractive boy in your major:
wonbin park : yea i didn’t understand it either if that makes you feel any better
wonbin park : if you want to we could try to meet up with the professor for help
wonbin park : up to you tho
And from a childhood friend, Jungwon:
jungwon 🚨🚨 : u make such bad decisions y/n
jungwon 🚨🚨 : if u still lived in town i’d come find u and strangle u idk
Jungwon was really calling you out. You knew he was right, you should probably just leave.
In the same breath, though, Jake did offer to give you a drink, and to at least be polite, you knew you should stay until you finish it.
Jake made his way back from the kitchen to find you, and he had two glasses of red wine and the wine bottle, both glasses in one hand and the bottle in the other. He placed your glass in front of you onto a coffee table with the bottle nearby and sat down with his own glass.
You took a sip before breaking the silence, “So why did you call me over?”
“I dunno,” he answered, “I feel like we kind of have some catching up to do, I guess. Do you wanna watch something? A romcom, maybe?”
“That’s fine.” You needed the background noise if you were going to talk to Jake anyways. You might go insane if you had to engage in conversation and give him your undivided attention.
For the first half hour of the film, no words were exchanged besides commentary about the plot. Once you two had finished a couple of drinks, the atmosphere lightened up, and you began to converse more freely.
“What do you really think about Sunghoon?”
A question that Jake asked that had actually stuck out to you amongst his nonsense. You couldn’t pinpoint exactly why this question bothered you so much, but you answered anyways:
“He’s a gentlemen. Great in bed, good friend, pretty funny. Sometimes I could see myself gaining feelings for him, but I seriously doubt that’ll happen. I just can’t go for fuck-buddies, y’know?”
Jake laughed, “I mean, I don’t know. Obviously.”
You rolled your eyes playfully at him before reaching over and flicking his forehead, “Knock it off.”
He made a swipe at your wrist but you’d pulled it away too quickly for him to grab. He slouched in his spot, teasing you while singing, “Sorry..”
You readjusted yourself on the couch before taking your turn to ask a question, “What do you really think of Ella?”
At her name, Jake tensed up slightly. It was subtle, but enough of his body reacted for you to notice.
“Hah.. about that…” he trailed off.
“What? What happened? You guys were literally all over each other yesterday,” you nagged. It was true; Ella was gushing about Jake while she talked to you two, and when all of you went out, they never left the other person’s side.
“We, uh, we’re on a break. Right now, I mean,” he confessed, surprising you.
“What the hell? Why?” you asked, almost accusatory, though you assumed the break happened due to Ella, but you couldn’t be sure. You grabbed the TV remote and paused the movie, wanting to actually listen to his story.
Jake sighed, “I really couldn’t tell you,” he paused, taking a drink of the wine, “it was really sudden. It happened this morning.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry. That really sucks,” you comforted him, scooting closer to pat him on his knee. You let your hand rest there for a couple of seconds, and Jake puts his hand on top of yours.
“Don’t touch me,” you teased, lightly hitting him on the shoulder.
“Don’t touch me!!” Jake mocked you, now going for the side of your neck with a small jab.
“Jake,” you warned, playfully giving him a scowl. At this point, you had sat up on your knees, giving you a better range of motion to attack the man in front of you, and a better opportunity to dodge his attacks.
As you went to try and grab his waist for pressure points, he grabbed your wrists and pulled you closer to him, “Jake….” He mocked, getting in your face to tease you.
The play fighting soon escalated into playful wrestling on his couch, mostly with Jake winning as he was much stronger than you.
At some point, he pushed you a little too hard and you landed with your back on the couch. Because he was holding your wrist at the moment, you took him with you on your small tumble, causing the man to be hovering inches away from your face.
His outer arm was propped up on the couch, caging you into your spot. He was still holding onto your wrist with his other hand. You could smell the wine on his breath, but it was ultimately overpowered by the scent of his cologne.
That goddamn cologne.
In an instant, you pushed your lips onto his. The kiss was fiery, sloppy, and hot. He tasted like alcohol. You didn’t even care.
Jake immediately leaned further into the kiss, his grip on your wrist loosening almost instantly. You felt him breathe a sigh through his nose, signifying that he had been anticipating, hoping something that like this would happen.
You took this as a sign to continue. You brought your free hand to the nape of his neck, slightly running your fingers through his hair. Jake slightly groaned into your mouth before taking the hand that was holding your wrist and instead bringing it to the side of your face.
The alcohol coursed through your veins as you made your next move. Lust-driven, you pushed Jake slightly in the chest with your free hand and you both sat up, your lips temporarily leaving the other’s.
As soon as you were both sat normally on the couch, Jake pulled you into his lap, his hands finding your waist. You brought your hands to his shoulders, one hand making its way to his upper back and the other one going to grab for his hair again.
Jake swiped his tongue on your bottom lip, and you immediately complied, opening your mouth to kiss him deeper. Jake gripped your waist tighter and pulled you closer to him, your bodies now touching. As he pulled you, you felt his bulge in his pants brush up against your lower regions, eliciting a whimper out of you. You pulled onto his hair harder.
Jake’s hands slowly made their way from your waist to your torso, his cold hands slipping under your baggy shirt you wore, giving you goosebumps.
His breath made you crinkle your nose when you broke apart momentarily, his half-lidded eyes meeting yours. He began running a hand up and down your back, his eyes instead making their way down to your parted lips. Jake took his right hand from under your shirt and gently pushed your hair away from above your shoulder, exposing your neck and a part of your collarbone.
He met eyes with you again while leaning in, looking for your okay. You couldn’t even think straight, you had forgotten how much this man drove you crazy with lust. You just bit your lip and nodded, and he immediately started planting kisses on your neck, slowly bringing them further down your body, towards your collarbone and shoulder. At points, he would find your weak spots and kiss deeper, longer, and he would even suck on the skin.
You hated that he still remembered you well.
You guys were meant to be in the past.
What the fuck were you doing right now?
You tried getting his attention, though most of the words came out as whimpers because of what he was doing, “Jake… Jake.”
You moved your hands from his neck and back and placed them both on the top of his shoulders, slightly pushing him back. He detached himself from your neck and looked back at you with eyes that you didn’t know could contain that much lust.
“Jake…”
Jake loosened his grip on your torso and dropped his hands back to your hips. His voice was husky as he replied, “Yeah? Is everything okay?” You could still smell the wine on his breath due to the proximity, making a point to remove your hands from his shoulders now.
You gulped at him, looking at him in the eyes with a concerned expression, “No, no. Everything’s not okay.”
He tilted his head in confusion at you, signaling that he wanted you to continue, “What’s wrong, Y/N?”
“Us, Jake. We shouldn’t be doing this. You and I both know this, I don’t know why I even agreed to come here…” you started rambling, taking Jake’s hands off your hips and pulling yourself off his lap. You straightened out your clothes before pacing around his living room, searching for your shoes. You cursed yourself a million times.
“What? Y/N, what did I do?” Jake sounded worried, getting up from the couch and following your body with his eyes.
You turned to face him, “Jake. You and I both know damn well that ‘this’,” you beckoned between the two of you, “should not be happening.”
“What do you mean?” He started walking towards you, you now scampering away because you found your shoes. You needed to leave as soon as possible.
“Are you kidding me? What do you mean , ‘what do you mean?’? Jake, you have a girlfriend. What the fuck are we doing?” You sighed exasperated at him, slipping your shoes on in a quick manner.
“Fuck,” he said, running a hand through his hair, “fuck, Y/N. You know we’re on a break.”
“That doesn’t mean you should pounce on me at the first opportunity you get!” You emphasized, getting frustrated. “I was stupid for coming over here alone. I’m sorry for initiating anything. We need to be left in the past.”
“We don’t have to be, though!” Jake urged, his voice also raising, “Y/N, I know you’re with Sunghoon, but you don’t have to be. I can treat you right. You- you deserve better.” Jake began slurring his words, the alcohol taking over his speech process.
You looked at him, eyebrows furrowed in anger, “This was a mistake.”
You grabbed all your belongings before quickly exiting his apartment. As you left, you heard Jake calling your name, “Y/N!”
You couldn’t believe yourself. It wasn’t about Ella or Sunghoon. Ella didn’t have a say if she initiated a break with him, and Sunghoon didn’t have a say either; he was just your fuck-buddy after all.
What it was about was you not sticking to what you told yourself. You and Jake needed to be something that stayed in the past, yet here you just were, making out with him in his apartment, months after breaking things off. You knew better.
You quickly called Ningning, who lived about a couple blocks away. She picked up the phone right as you exited the apartment complex.
“Hello?”
“Hey.”
“Woah, you sound fucked up. Are you okay?”
“I- I don’t know. Probably not. I’m drunk. Can you come pick me up?”
“Where are you?”
You cleared your throat before continuing, trying to formulate this next sentence as best as possible without sounding guilty, even though you were very much guilty.
“I’m, uh, like right near Jake’s apartment building. Like, I’m standing in front of it now.”
Ningning had picked you up from Jake’s apartment before when you used to hook up, especially when you and her had made plans for the following day. She knew exactly where you were. She didn’t give you a physical reaction, but you were sure to hear about it the following morning.
“I’m on my way. Stay right where you are.”
Within a minute or two, Ningning pulled up in front of the apartment building. Once you got in the car, you were met with a crazed look, “You have a lot of fucking explaining to do.”
“I know. I know. It’s not what you think it is, though.” You lied right through your teeth to her. Whatever was happening at Jake’s was about to escalate into exactly what Ningning was assuming you were doing there. You’re glad you stopped it, but the feeling of being pissed off at yourself for even going overpowered any happiness you felt in the moment. You couldn’t even think properly anyways. The wine had taken a bigger toll on you than you’d anticipated.
Ningning started driving towards her apartment in silence.
Suddenly, your phone screen lit up with a text:
do not answer : im sorry
v. MY HEART CRAVES YOU
A week or two later and you hadn’t seen Jake and had no plans to. You still beat yourself up over what happened, sometimes contemplating whether going out was even worth it anymore. You always had that chance of running into him.
But, when Sunghoon invited you to pregame with him, Heeseung, and Ningning before a party, you figured that you’d been celibate from parties for long enough now, and going to at least one wouldn’t hurt. You missed the atmosphere of getting fucked up and not having to think about anything for a bit. It’s what you needed right now anyways.
You found yourself at Sunghoon’s apartment again, waiting outside the door for him to let you in. You chewed on your lip at the situation; Sunghoon had no idea about what happened, but you were terrified it would all come back to bite you in the ass sooner or later. You pushed the thought out of your brain. You and Sunghoon weren’t anything serious anyways.
Sunghoon opened the door and pulled you into his apartment, “Hey!”
You smiled at him almost immediately. Being around him really did ease your nerves, you hated to admit. He looked really good tonight, clad in just a T-shirt and his sweatpants with freshly washed hair.
“Hi,” you laughed, following him to his room, “sorry I’m here early, I tried to take more time getting ready, but I haven’t partied in a couple weeks and I got eager.”
“Why are you apologizing for coming to see me early? I like having you around,” he said as you sat yourself on his bed. He tugged at the top of your ear once.
“Okay, cornball,” you blushed at his words, rolling your eyes playfully at him, “You’re such a flirt.”
“I’m not allowed to flirt with you now?” He questioned you dramatically, “What kind of society do we live in?”
You laughed at his antics as he walked to his closet to pick an outfit for the night. He held up clothes for you, waiting for you to give him either a thumbs up or down depending on your opinion on it.
He ended up settling on a pair of black pants, a white hoodie, and he threw on a basketball jersey over it.
“Never knew you were such an athlete,” you commented, teasing him.
It sounded like Ningning and Heeseung had returned, bringing others with them. Sunghoon pulled you up from his bed and took you to the living room. You were met with the sight of Jay, Ella, and of course, Jake. You weren’t even surprised at this point.
“Oh,” Sunghoon remembered, “I forgot to tell you that Jay, Jake, and Ella are joining us to pregame. I hope you don’t really mind.”
“Even if I did, I don’t think it would really matter.” You half grumbled at him, hoping he wouldn’t pick up on your mannerisms.
You stopped him with you in the hallway, whispering, “Wait, why is Ella here?”
“What do you mean?” He furrowed his eyebrows at you, looking confused.
“I don’t know, someone told me that her and Jake went on a break.”
Sunghoon shook his head at you, “Uh, no. At least as far as I’m aware, they didn’t. I saw them on a date the day after you and I went to go see our friends. They’re with each other basically every day.”
You had to fight every urge to heavily sigh at the moment, “Oh, okay. Weird.”
You were so confused. The day after you and Sunghoon visited friends was the day after the whole incident that drove you away from Jake for two weeks happened. The same damn day, and he was with her the day after. A day long break didn’t make any sense to you. She was happy with him, and you all weren’t in high school. You shook your head at yourself with furrowed eyebrows as you walked back with Sunghoon towards the living room.
You smiled at Ella, who had Jake’s arm slithered around her waist. That poor fucking girl. She had no idea. You couldn’t believe him.
She smiled back at you radiantly. She was so beautiful.
Everyone stood in the living room, but instead of staying there, you all decided to head towards the kitchen to pregame, where there were already drinks out. You grabbed a Twisted Tea as you passed it, immediately cracking it open to drink. You needed the alcohol. The situation was stressing you out more than you’d like to admit. You had to confront Jake.
Around twenty minutes later, you found yourself passing him and tapping his leg. When he turned around, you gave him a look of “you need to talk with me, now.”
You slipped away to the bathroom, no one seemingly noticing your exit. You wanted this talk to be as quick as possible.
About three minutes of waiting later, Jake also slipped into the bathroom. He smiled at you as he walked in. You couldn’t believe his audacity.
“Hey, what’s up?” He asked, walking towards you. You put distance between him and yourself, crossing your arms.
If looks could kill, Jake would be a dead man.
“What the fuck is your problem?” You whisper-shouted, looking at him incredulously.
“Huh?”
“I heard from the grapevine that you,” you forcibly pointed at him, “and Ella were never on a break.”
His eyes widened. You were sure he didn’t mean to get caught, but his look told you everything.
“Don’t think I wouldn’t have found out, Sim,” you spat at him, “you’re actually unbelievable.”
An apology immediately started rushing out of his mouth at you, “Y/N, I’m so sorry. It’s just, I was intoxicated, and- and so were you, and we were alone… you know I’ve always had a thing for you since we met. But- but you’re with Sunghoon now, I know, so I saw it as my only chance.”
“Jake,” you sighed, “I honestly don’t think I can accept your apology. You know better. And you should apologize to Ella instead. I’m with Sunghoon now, and I know we were both drunk, but that can neverhappen again.”
He gulped before you laid the mallet down on him, “Last time we tried this should be evident of that.”
“You’re right.”
You immediately walked past him, opening the door to the bathroom and slipping back out and walking towards the kitchen.
Jake followed you around four minutes later, delaying his arrival to not bring up any suspicions. You made your way to stand between Ningning and Jay, grabbing another drink.
Seconds later, Sunghoon appeared behind you. He slid his arms around your waist, his cold touch sending a shiver down your spine. You craned your neck to look at him, trying to make eye contact but his eyes were elsewhere. His gaze was honed in on Jake, and if looks could kill, there would be Jake’s blood all over the apartment right now.
Jake averted eye contact and opted to look at Ella.
Once the pregaming ended, you found yourself in a car with Heeseung, Sunghoon, and Ningning. Heeseung was the designated driver, and you were grateful that you could get sloshed tonight and not have to think about anything for a bit.
Heeseung parked about a block away from the party, Jay parking about thirty feet behind you guys. The walk to the party was surprisingly cold for it being an almost summer night, the weather not missing its chance to brush the cold winds against your bare legs.
“You cold?” Sunghoon asked, taking a look over at you.
“Maybe a bit,” you admitted, wrapping each of your arms around the other, “it’s fine, it’ll probably be sweaty in there anyways.”
Soon you all reached the party, one by one trailing into the loud house. It was already insanely packed, each corner and crevice of the place having people in it. The music was deafening, and the heat that already made its way towards you was all the evidence you needed that wearing only a dress was a good idea.
Sunghoon grabbed your hand, pulling you through the crowd and towards what you assumed would be the kitchen, or wherever the drinks would be located.
You made sure to grip well on his hand, because every person you tried to walk by somehow ended up not noticing your presence and never moving, causing you to fall behind.
Sunghoon led you into the kitchen, where it was surprisingly less crowded. You still could barely hear even though the music was a room away now. You could also barely see, the lights were so dim that you had to squint to see the faces of those around you.
There were a lot of drinks to choose from, most being put in plastic pitchers with labels made out of packing tape and sharpie.
You walked over, grabbed a red solo cup, and then made your way towards the pitcher labeled “JUNGLE JUICE” and poured yourself a cup, it almost being filled to the brim.
“Woah,” Sunghoon commented when he saw how full your drink was, “you should calm down with the amount, Y/N. Don’t want you getting sick.”
You looked at him, took a drink, then commented, “I may get sick, I may not. Not the end of the world if I do.”
He gave you a pointed look before asking, “Do you want to go back to the living room?”
You nodded and followed his lead as he parted the way for you. You tried your best to not get separated from him. It wasn’t like you weren’t able to handle being by yourself at a party, but you wanted to get a few drinks in before attempting to be independent.
Half an hour passed and you were on your fifth drink of the night. You weren’t sure how it was physically possible, but after you finished your fifth drink, you wanted another. You needed to forget everything that had happened over the past few weeks, and even if it was for one night, that was okay with you.
You parted ways with Sunghoon once again for the night, beckoning towards the kitchen and telling him that you’d be back soon.
After getting your sixth drink, you had every intention of getting back to Sunghoon. Instead, you found yourself getting intrigued by the outdoors. There weren’t many people outside, only about fifteen, but you figured there was nothing wrong with taking a breath of fresh air for a moment.
Opening the door, you were get again met with the cold breeze, but with all the alcohol running through your veins, you didn’t feel as cold as you did earlier.
You stepped onto the concrete patio and spotted who you thought was a classmate, Wonbin Park. He was sitting by himself in a lawn chair, seemingly observing everyone in the backyard.
You approached him, making yourself seen, to which he waved at you. You stood by his chair and he looked up at you.
“Hey,” he started, smiling at you. You doubted he had drank as much as you, you were sure you looked a mess. He looked fine. Good, even.
“Hey,” you replied, “what are you doing here?”
He laughed at your words, “I’m here to drink and forget about the past week. You?”
“It’s like you read my mind,” you commented.
“Almost like that’s what parties are for,” Wonbin said, nudging your bare knee, “how are you not cold right now?”
“I’ve had a lot to drink,” you admitted.
“I can tell,” he replied, “you should probably not finish that.”
Wonbin motioned to the drink in your hand, now already half empty.
“I’m fine.”
“You don’t look fine.”
As if Wonbin could read your mind, he wasn’t surprised when you gagged, suddenly feeling hot acid rising in your throat.
You ran over to the grass and let a bit of vomit escape your mouth, your eyes watering at the taste.
Wonbin walked quickly over to you, “Let’s get you inside, yeah?”
As he brought you inside, he asked, “Who are you here with?”
You had your hand held over your mouth as you tried not to vomit anymore. Wonbin ushered you to an empty bathroom so you could get sick (mostly) in peace.
“Are you here with Sunghoon?” He asked, worried for you.
You nodded miserably as you hunched over the toilet and let loose. It wasn’t as much as you thought it would be, but you felt disgusting. You knew it wouldn’t be all in one go, your stomach was upset. You’d probably be here for at least twenty minutes.
Wonbin looked at you, “I don’t want to leave you here alone, but I’m gonna go find Sunghoon.”
You offered no response as you continued getting sick in the toilet. The room smelled like alcohol, vomit, and toilet water. The smell alone could’ve made you vomit even more.
A minute later, a familiar figure entered the bathroom and crouched next to you. You were hoping it would be Sunghoon, but by the smell of the cologne which was now mixed in the air, you knew exactly who it was.
You wanted to be mad, but you were too miserable to focus your energy on that. You were just grateful someone would be there to help you while you tried not to die.
He gently pulled your hair back for you, keeping it up so you wouldn’t get sick all over it.
Jake could be alright sometimes.
He placed his other hand comfortingly on your back, rubbing it, hoping to soothe whatever you were going through. This action was cut short, however, when Wonbin returned with Heeseung, Ningning, and Sunghoon.
Even as loud as it was and as drunk as you were, the way that Sunghoon barked Jake’s surname rang through your mind, “Sim.”
You looked up from your spot to watch Heeseung, Jake, and Sunghoon disappear. Wonbin ushered Ningning towards you, her now taking the spot that Jake once occupied.
“Do you need anything?” Wonbin asked carefully.
You shook your head at him, not being able to speak.
“Okay,” he paused, “please don’t die, Y/N.”
You laughed as much as you physically could at his words, which in reality was a small chuckle, but if you had done any more, you could’ve thrown up all over Ningning. Throwing up in the toilet was enough for you.
Wonbin left. Quickly, Ningning turned to you and asked, “Y/N, why the fuck were you in here with Jake?”
“I-” you slightly turned to her, trying to speak, but failing. You turned your head back to the toilet bowl and hurled some more.
“I don’t know,” you croaked out, as loud as you could, “he- he didn’t bring me in here. Wonbin did. Jake just- he showed up.”
You slurred some of your words together. You couldn’t remember the last time you were this drunk.
Ningning said nothing but hummed at what you said. You didn’t think that she didn’t believe you, but you also weren’t sure that she did believe you.
Ten minutes of hurling later, Sunghoon and Heeseung returned in the doorway of the bathroom. Ningning got up and Sunghoon took her place, “I told you that you were gonna be sick.”
You vomited again.
He placed a hand on the small of your back and rubbed in a circle. You were glad he showed up. His presence made you feel a lot better than Jake’s did.
You stayed there for five minutes before attempting to stand up with the help of Sunghoon.
“Let’s leave,” he said to Heeseung.
Sunghoon laced his fingers with yours as he helped you out of the house. In the time that you’d been throwing up, the amount of people in the house had waned down. It was less difficult to make your way through the crowd now.
Most of the faces blurred as you walked past, but one really stuck out to you. Jake Sim was sitting on a couch with Ella.
His lip had been completely busted open.
You paid no mind to the wind as you exited the house. If anything, you welcomed it with open arms. It semi-sobered you up.
In the process of becoming more sober, you had come to the realization of something:
Jake hadn’t had a busted lip when he was comforting you.
What the Hell had happened in those ten minutes?
vi. I CAN’T REFUTE MY INSTINCTS
Sunghoon, somehow, had become even more protective of you as of late. You figured it had something to do with whatever happened between him and Jake at the party, and you had your suspicions of what went down, but when you’d asked Sunghoon, he always just tried to ignore the situation. Plus, you didn’t know if he would tell you the full truth anyways.
So, you got the genius idea to confront Jake instead.
Who were you kidding, it was a horrible idea. But you needed to have your suspicions confirmed, at the very least. So you texted him:
you : jake
Within seconds, a response came:
do not answer : yo
do not answer : what’s up
You couldn’t believe he was hitting you with a “yo” right now. Was he allergic to social cues?
you : i need to ask you about something
you : can i come over later
you : don’t get any ideas
He took a minute before responding:
do not answer : ig
do not answer : jays not home rn just come now
you : ok
You left your apartment within minutes. You weren’t exactly eager to see Jake, but nonetheless, you really wanted to know what was up with the party the other night. Even after you suffered through a hangover, you remembered that moment perfectly.
When you arrived at Jake’s apartment building, you chewed on your lip. You weren’t exactly sure why. You knew that nothing would happen, and all that was going to happen was Jake telling you the truth.
At least you hoped.
When you went to knock on his door, it swung open, Jake’s large figure greeting you before you even had a chance to register what was happening. He stepped to the side and let you walk in. You only made your way to further down his entrance hallway; you wanted to be in and out of here as quickly as humanly possible.
Jake trailed your figure and met you at the end of the hallway. He stood directly across from you and mirrored your body language as he leaned against the wall and crossed his arms.
“So,” you started, not wanting to waste any more time.
“So.”
You sighed, “I need you to be completely transparent with me, Jake.”
He gave you a pointed look, “What’s the problem?” He didn’t seem all too thrilled that you were here for once, which was a genuine surprise for you. You didn’t fail to notice how his lip was still busted, so you went ahead and bit the bullet:
“What happened to your lip?”
The question was simple, it could be chalked up to a friend having concern for another friend. But it wasn’t. You weren’t even really friends, and your only concern was the reason behind the busted lip. Not the person suffering the blow of it.
Jake’s gaze faltered slightly and you almost missed it. He swallowed quickly, “Nothing. I just hit it on something.”
“Bullshit,” you snapped back, “that’s bullshit and we both know it.”
“Why do you even care?” He pushed, his annoyance at you now becoming prevalent.
You rolled your eyes but had to think for a second. Why did you care? You didn’t care about Jake’s lip, you could give less of a fuck. You desperately needed to know about why it happened though. And why Sunghoon had suddenly flipped a switch. You weren’t stupid, you obviously knew something went down. But you needed your suspicions to be confirmed at the very least.
“You’re hurt, Jake,” you lied through your teeth, “anyone with eyes can see that your lip is fucked up. I care about whether you’re hurt. And I have a feeling it has to do with Sunghoon,” you paused, “and I’m sure you know that I should know what happened. But he hasn’t told me anything.”
You finally looked at him again, “Which is why I came to you.”
Jake sighed, running a hand through his hair. You knew you’d cracked him. It was almost too easy. You just hoped what he admitted was the full truth.
He licked his lips before speaking, “You’re right. This,” he motioned to his busted lip, “does have to do with Sunghoon. There. You happy now?”
So you were right. You desperately needed to know the details, though. You didn’t give up that easily.
“Jake.”
“What?”
“What happened between you guys?”
He let out another sigh, then pursing his lips to fight a scowl. He laughed a bit to himself before clearing his throat:
“We fought.”
You weren’t shocked. Between Sunghoon’s newfound behavior and Jake’s altered physical appearance, you assumed that was what happened. However, you feigned shock so he could continue.
“Yeah, I know, right? Funny. Good guy Sunghoon tried to beat the shit out of me,” he laughed through the pain, a look of discontent in his eyes.
“Why… why would he do that?” You mustered out. You scared yourself sometimes with how well you could act.
“You tell me.”
Your words temporarily genuinely got caught in your throat, “W- what?”
Jake tilted his head at you, “He’s your boyfriend.”
“Jake, you already know that he refuses to tell me anything about this. Plus, he and I aren’t dating anyways.”
“Really,” he commented passive aggressively, “because for someone who isn’t dating you, he was really protective over me helping you. While you were throwing up, mind you.”
“Huh?”
It started to click. The appearance of Jake, followed by the appearance of Sunghoon, Sunghoon barking Jake’s name, them leaving, and Sunghoon coming back, alone. And, of course, the busted lip.
“Yeah. Your little not-boyfriend was mad that I was your knight in shining armor for once, not him,” he scoffed, “and he told me to back off.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah. Said he has suspicions about me or some shit like that.”
You laughed at his words. Of course Sunghoon had suspicions about Jake. You would have suspicions too if you were him.
“What’s funny?”
You attempted to return to normal, “Nothing, nothing. It’s just- Jake. You really can’t be mad about him having suspicions.”
Jake paused and chuckled while running a hand through his hair once more, “Yeah, he’s not wrong for having them, I guess.”
You rolled your eyes playfully at him before becoming a bit more serious, “Okay. Well, uh, I’m sorry about, y’know, that,” you motioned to his lips, “and- and thank you. For helping me all those days ago. And for being honest with me.” You gave him a genuine smile.
“Yeah, of course, uh, I’ll see you around then?” Jake said as you started walking towards his apartment door.
“Maybe,” you left him hanging, and as you were going to pull the door open, you turned to face him one last time as he waved bye to you.
Pulling the door open, you turned around, ready to leave. Instead, you ran into a tall figure, who was clearly trying to enter while you were trying to exit. So much for trying to go to see Jake unnoticed.
The man you ran into was none other than Jay.
vii. LIKE A FEVER
You weren’t surprised. You really weren’t.
Of course Jay would tell Sunghoon that you were at Jake’s. Of fucking course. And honestly, after the conversation you and Jake had about how Sunghoon felt about you two, you didn’t blame Jay for narcing. You did kind of resent him for it, though, because jumping to conclusions never ends well.
Plus, the situation had absolutely nothing to do with Jay. He should have just butted out while he was ahead.
When Sunghoon arrived at your apartment the morning following the Jay incident, you expected it to be a pleasant visit. Not whatever he was doing right now.
As soon as you let him in, he stormed past you into your living room. You tried to grab his arm but he just shook you off.
You shut the door and turned back around. He looked tense. You knew this wasn’t going to end well.
You shyly followed him into the living room, not entirely sure why you were cowering at the moment. You wanted to chalk it up to the fact that it was Sunghoon, but you were never this nervous about confrontations with fuck-buddies. It was weird.
When he reached the couch, he sat down and motioned for you to sit on the chair adjacent to it. Sunghoon ran a hand across his face and groaned.
“Y/N,” he breathed out, obviously irritated.
You looked at him, “Sunghoon…”
He scoff-laughed, “Do you want to explain yourself to me?”
“About- about what?” You asked. You weren’t dumb, but that doesn’t mean you wouldn’t play dumb for the time being.
“Don’t fucking play dumb, Y/N,” Sunghoon spat at you, “okay? Do not play dumb.”
“I can’t explain myself if I don’t know what you want me to explain.”
He sighed. You were right. You could tell he hated when you were right, because you’d cornered him into expressing his anger. Men never seemed to like to talk about their feelings.
“Okay,” he sighed, once more, exasperatedly, “Do you wanna tell me why you were at Jake’s yesterday? Alone?”
“Who told you that? Was it Jay? Because he doesn’t know the full story-”
“It doesn’t matter who it was, Y/N! You need to explain yourself!”
He stood up at his last sentence and looked at you incredulously. You tried to get him to sit back down and calm his nerves, “Sunghoon, sit down, please. It’s not what you’re thinking, at all.”
Ironically, it was what he was thinking, but the one time that you two were caught was the one time that it hadn’t been anything weird. He was wrong, but in the same breath, he was also right.
“No, damnit, Y/N,” he said, “I’m not going to sit!”
“Sunghoon,” you replied, now standing, “it’s not at all what you think it is.”
“Really?” He asked, aggravated, “Then fucking tell me what it was.”
You stepped closer to him, now also getting frustrated, “I’ll tell you exactly what it was if you would just listen.”
“Oh, I’m listening, alright.” He said, staring at you with a fiery gaze.
“Okay. Then just hear me out,” you replied, trying to calm yourself, “I went to Jake’s apartment to ask what had happened between you and him the other night. When I was getting sick, and-”
“You have got to be fucking kidding me, Y/N,” he groaned, looking at you with a snarl, “you could have just come and asked me what the fuck happened! You didn’t need to go to him!”
“I fucking tried that!” You yelled at him, “You wouldn’t tell me anything! Have you forgotten somehow?!”
“It doesn’t matter, Y/N,” he breathed out, still angry, “you shouldn’t have gone to him in the first place.”
“I wouldn’t have,” you started, “I wouldn’t have, if you would’ve just, I don’t know, been honest with me?!”
“Y/N,” he started, “I don’t think you understand what’s really happening here.”
“Stop. Stop right now. You think I’m stupid,” you commented, flailing your arms around, “you think that I don’t understand whatever the fuck is happening. I don’t want to play this game anymore, Sunghoon. The game where you know everything and I’m not allowed to know anything. And if I find out on my own, I ‘don’t even really understand’. At least, according to you.”
“That’s not what I’m saying-”
“No. Stop. Leave my apartment,” you looked him in the eyes, “I don’t want to do this,” you motioned between you two, what you were referencing pretty obvious to him, “anymore, if you’re going to play this stupid fucking game. I’m done.”
“Y/N, come on. Don’t be like this.”
“Leave. I don’t want to talk to you right now. We can talk once you’re ready to try and listen to me for once,” you ordered, pointing to the door, “leave, Sunghoon.”
You didn’t watch him exit your apartment. Once he was gone, though, you made sure to lock the door. You leaned against the door, pulling your phone out of your back pocket, and opening the messaging app.
This time you didn’t care if it was a bad idea.
you : me and sunghoon broke things off
Within seconds, Jake started typing a response, so you turned off your phone and ran a hand across your face. If Sunghoon was really worried about Jake, now, if anything, you had to spite him and rub it in his face. Jake was still attractive. Jake would take you back. You guess it was just bound to happen.
Three minutes later and no response despite the typing bubble still being there. You began to give up hope, until he follows you up with an answer:
do not answer : come over
You arrived at Jake’s apartment with record time. You didn’t care if Jay was there, or if he would show up at some point, because now that you and Sunghoon were on a break (or whatever it was) you had free reign to do as you pleased. Even see Jake.
When Jake opened the door, his eyes immediately lit up at your figure. You looked a bit like a mess, but he didn’t seem to care.
You couldn’t lie, the stress made you look disheveled, and you were wearing probably the trashiest outfit you owned. Jake didn’t seem to mind as he pulled you into his house.
He led you down the hallway, “Jay’s not here. I figured you wouldn’t care, though, because who is he going to tell now?”
You laughed at his words and followed him into his bedroom. His laptop was seated on his bed, open, because he’d been doing some work, assumably. He moved it further to the wall, then walking and shutting the bedroom door before sitting down. He beckoned for you to do the same.
You tucked a piece of hair behind your ear before sitting down next to him. You made yourself comfortable on his bed before speaking:
“Sorry about the sudden text.”
He furrowed his eyebrows at you, “Why would you be sorry? It’s not your fault that Sunghoon is an ass.”
You smiled at him, “You don’t even know what happened and you’re already taking my side.”
He leaned closer to you, “Ah, Sunghoon is always an ass. That has nothing to do with you or your situation.”
He gave you a look, then continued, “What even happened anyways?”
“Oh, yeah, right,” you said, adjusting your seated position to face him better, “uh, it’s so dumb. Sunghoon got mad that I came over the other day and accused me of cheating or some shit. He wouldn’t even listen.”
“See,” Jake exclaimed, “he is an ass!”
You giggled at his words, grateful that he was there to make you feel better. It took a lot for you to ignore how the situation was really making you feel, but having something to distract you mattered more right now.
“It’s so funny,” you replied, “the fact that the reason I was even here was because of him. I even told him that! He doesn’t ever want to listen to me.”
You groaned, dramatically throwing yourself backwards onto Jake’s mattress.
He copied as you did and commented, “He’s an ass. Like I said.”
“It’s whatever. It doesn’t even matter now, I don’t want to talk to him,” you covered your face in your hands, “just thinking about him is pissing me off.”
“I get it,” he said, now suddenly sitting up, “I know how you feel.”
You sat up too, “What really bothers me is that he and I aren’t even exclusive. So even if you and I did fuck, there shouldn’t be an issue.”
You rolled your eyes at the situation.
“I mean…” Jake trailed off, treading lightly with his next choice of words, “now that you’re not exclusive… or there are no ties… there isn’t an apparent issue.”
You looked at him with widened eyes and a slight smile, “You sneaky son-of-a-bitch. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were trying to have sex with me!”
Jake leaned over and moved his computer onto the ground. When he came up, his face was mere inches from yours.
He took a hand and brushed your hair away from your face. His touch sent chills through your body.
He licked his lips, “And if I didn’t know any better, I’d think that you agreed to come over here for a real reason.”
You smirked at him, leaning in to meet his lips in the middle. His hand flew to your waist and pulled you closer to him. His touch was needy, but in your moment of desperation, you’re sure yours was too. Jake deepened the kiss and pulled you onto his lap.
Maybe this was what was meant to happen. If Sunghoon really wanted to paint you as a villain for coming to Jake’s, maybe you should become the villain.
What’s wrong with a little fun, anyways?
viii. A SCAR LEFT IN ME
That night, you ended up staying at Jake’s place, no surprise. He always left you shocked with how much you missed having him in bed and as a friend. Sure, he wasn’t Sunghoon, but he’d have to do.
Two weeks and a some more hookups later, you’re sitting in Jake’s apartment kitchen. He was cooking something, and you were sat on the counter, watching him. In the time that you’d made yourself comfortable at Jake’s, you’d had more than a few run-ins with Jay. There was no doubt that he knew that you and Sunghoon had broken things off, but still seeing your presence obviously made him slightly upset. He refused to acknowledge you.
As if on cue, Jay walked into the apartment, not greeting either of you. He made a beeline for his room and slammed his door shut.
“What’s crawled up his ass?” You commented, kicking your feet.
“I don’t know, he’s always in a bad mood when you’re here.”
“Understandable,” you said, thinking about Ella suddenly, “it probably makes him mad that he knows you’re cheating on Ella with me.”
For the past weeks, Ella really hadn’t made an appearance in your mind. A part of you felt bad, but you didn’t really care. If she was all that special, Jake wouldn’t have cheated on her.
“No, that’s not it,” he replied, looking up from the stove, “we broke up. He didn’t even like her all that much anyways.”
This was news to you. Sure, now that you’d thought of it, you hadn’t heard any news of Ella recently anyways. But you’d just assumed it was because Jake didn’t want to talk about his girlfriend to the girl he was cheating on her with.
“You guys broke up?” You hopped down from the counter, facing him with your whole body, “since when?”
“Like, a week and a half ago,” he explained, returning his eyes to the food he was making.
You thought of all the possibilities that could follow you asking the next question, but decided to go ahead and ask it anyways:
“Why?”
“Y/N,” he started, “you know it’s because of you. Even beyond having sex, it’s only ever been you. Ever since we met at that party.”
You took a step away from him, slowly. There was no way this was happening, again. You felt stupid for letting this happen, but you didn’t want to lose Jake as a friend. If you couldn’t look past his feelings last time, you definitely couldn’t look past them this time.
“Jake,” you said, “you know that this isn’t going to work like that.”
Jake turned the stove off and faced you, “What do you mean?”
“Come on, Jake. I couldn’t be with Sunghoon because of you, and I can’t be with you because of him.”
“What are you saying?”
“I couldn’t be with him because of you. He didn’t like us together.”
“Yeah, but he’s out of the picture now,” he commented, stepping towards you.
“No, Jake, I-” you stopped yourself. Jake was right. Sunghoon was technically out of the picture now. So what was holding you back? No matter what you tried to think of, your mind always came back to Sunghoon. All of this nonsense made you think that maybe, some time, you had accidentally treaded too closely to the “more than friends” line with Sunghoon. This terrified you.
“It doesn’t matter,” you continued, “you were happy with Ella! Why would you mess that up for someone who you know it won’t end well with?! You’ve tried this before, and you didn’t succeed. Why would you now think that it would be anything different?”
He walked closer to you, almost cornering you to a wall. You swallowed deeply and braced yourself for whatever he would say next.
His words came out breathy, “I want you to ruin me, Y/N. Ruin my ideas about love, about what love is. Ruin me, so that even when I do get hurt like I inevitably will, and I go running back to Ella, all I can think about is you.”
You gulped, and he leaned in closer to you.
“You drive me into an absolutely uncontrollable desire. And, trust me, I have tried so hard to see her the way that I see you, feel the same desire. But, it’s only ever been you.”
He finally steps back from you, keeping his face straight, but you could see traces of desperation behind his gaze.
You cleared your throat, walking away from him and towards the living room where your keys and bag were.
As you walked down his hallway, he trailed behind you.
“Y/N…” he said softly as you grabbed the doorknob to leave.
“I need some time to think about this, Jake.”
Later that night, you found yourself still obsessing over Jake’s words. It was absolutely astonishing to you; how the man could be pushed away from you so many times but come crawling back for more. Even when he had a girlfriend. His feelings for you were probably genuine, and some parts of you wished that you could feel that back for the boy. He deserved someone to love him. You didn’t think that someone would be you.
You let your mind wander back to Sunghoon. At this point, you’d almost accepted defeat. You’d broken the one rule of being friends-with-benefits: catching feelings. And to make matters worse, you’d broken things off with the first man you’d had genuine feelings for in years. You were really good at messing things up for yourself.
Suddenly, your thoughts are interrupted by a call. The caller ID read “sunghoon ☺️💨”. Your heart jumped.
You don’t know what possessed you to answer so quickly, but you soon found yourself answering the phone and putting it to your ear.
“Hello?” You answered, attempting to sound as unimpressed as possible.
“Hey, Y/N,” he said, obviously at least a little stressed, “I thought about what you said, y’know, two or so weeks ago, and I’d like to talk to you. Can I come over?”
“Only if you’re coming over to apologize,” you snarled, “otherwise fuck off.”
You hated how upset you quickly became, but from the reminders of Sunghoon’s actions two weeks ago, and the mix of emotions you felt towards Jake since this morning, you allowed yourself to be consumed in frustration.
It only takes ten minutes for Sunghoon to reach your apartment. Once let in, he immediately embraces you, catching you off guard.
“Woah,” you said, your voice muffled by his figure.
“I’m sorry.”
His apology felt like the gates of a dam being opened, because it was as if in that second, you’d come to clarity. About everything.
“I-” you tried, but nothing came out of your mouth, “it’s okay.”
“I was mad, and I was stupid, and I- I should’ve listened to you,” he said, not letting go of your figure. You hugged him back, running a hand down his back, “It’s okay, Hoon, it’s okay.”
You pulled away from him, getting his attention, “Let’s go to my room, yeah? We can talk there.”
As you sat down on your bed with him, you let your guard down. He was really fucking upset, anyone could see that. Sunghoon grabbed your hand as he continued, “Y/N, I’m so sorry. I ruined something good, I know. I’m just asking for you to forgive me.”
You rubbed your thumb over his finger as you tried to lighten the atmosphere, “Why the sudden change of heart?”
Sunghoon chuckled a bit through the tears forming in the corners of his eyes. He knew you’d already forgiven him, your body language was obvious. He laid his head on your lap, facing downwards.
“I fucked up,” he said, his voice muffled.
“What did you fuck up, Hoon?”
“I broke the one rule.”
“Turn over, I can’t hear you,” you said as you ran your fingers through his hair.
He rolled, his eyes now looking at yours. You brushed some hair away from his face gently. You could still see the tears brimming in his eyes.
“I broke the one rule.”
“What rule?”
“Of being fuck-buddies, Y/N.”
Your heart dropped at the words.
“I-” he choked, taking one of his hands to grab your own, “I have feelings for you, Y/N. Like real, genuine ones. I can’t risk losing you again.”
In a moment, everything from the past months had all came crashing down onto you.
“Okay,” you said, “I feel the same way. But I think I need time.”
You loved Sunghoon.
ix. I’M NOT A MONSTER
You and Sunghoon stayed together for the rest of the night, enjoying the other’s presence as you basked in all that you could from the lack of the previous weeks.
When you woke up the next morning, you smelled breakfast being made. God, this man really was willing to do anything to get you back. Your heart swelled.
You walked to the kitchen, letting yourself smile at the occurrence. You really had missed Sunghoon a lot.
As you approached him, you tried to be a quick as possible, not wanting to waste any more time of being away from him. Damn him, you really did like him. How could you have been so blind to your feelings before?
Once you reached him, you whispered, “Hi.”
He turned to the right to look at you, letting a smile form on his face, “Good morning, beautiful.”
You flushed at his words, “It’s 9am and you’re already being a flirt.”
“Can’t help it,” he replied, turning back to the food, “do you want some eggs? They’re almost done.”
“I’m okay, thank you though,” you said, tilting your head at the man, “I think I’ll just have a bagel or something.”
He nodded and you turned to your small pantry to find the bagels. Sunghoon turned off the stove and plated the eggs, taking a bite.
Suddenly, the doorbell buzzed.
“I’ll get it,” Sunghoon said, placing down his plate onto the counter. You didn’t mind that he was answering the door, he’d done it before. You wanted to find where the bagels were anyways.
You heard the door open, followed by Sunghoon’s voice ringing out a name that pierced through the air:
“Jake.”
Your heart dropped. What the fuck was he doing here? You told him that you needed time. Does he ever listen? You slowly made your way to the door.
“Oh, hey…” Jake cleared his throat, “Sunghoon. What, uh, what are you doing here?”
Before anything could unfold, you made yourself seen by the two men.
“Y/N!” Jake exclaimed.
“Oh, hi, Jake,” you walked your way next to Sunghoon, “what’s up?”
“I just…” he trailed off, glancing between you and Sunghoon, “wanted to ask you something real quick.”
“Oh,” you said, “you can come in.”
You led Jake to the living room and Sunghoon closed the door, speedily following behind you two. You could tell that he wasn’t thrilled that Jake was here.
An awkward silence consumed the room. It seemed that whatever Jake had on his mind, he wanted to say it one-on-one. In order to get it over with as quickly as possible, you turned to Sunghoon and suggested, “Sunghoon, would you mind finding the bagels for me really quickly? Just for a minute so we can talk.”
He scowled at Jake before turning away to walk to the kitchen. You watched him make his way to the pantry, not missing how he turned back to look at you and Jake once more. You sent him an apologetic look.
Once out of earshot, you lowly said, “Jake, what are you doing here?”
“Uh, sorry,” he explained, “I wouldn’t have come if I knew he was gonna be here.”
You rolled your eyes, “Jake. What do you want?”
“There’s a new restaurant that just opened downtown,” he started, tilting his head at you, “I wanted to see if you would go with me.”
You sighed, “The offer is really sweet, but I told you that I needed time, Jake.”
“I can’t do that,” he huffed, laughing in pain, “you know that. I can’t stay away from you. You drive me crazy.”
“Jake…” you trailed off, looking back at the kitchen. Sunghoon was holding a bag of bagels, staring daggers into Jake.
“You should leave,” you commented, turning back to him, “you can just come over to talk later. When Sunghoon’s not here.”
“Okay,” he said, peeking at Sunghoon, “okay. I’ll let you know when I’m headed over.”
“Okay,” you nodded at him, leading him to the door, “bye, Jake.”
You shut the door and returned back to the kitchen. Sunghoon was putting your bagel into the toaster, so you went to the fridge to grab out some cream cheese.
Sunghoon was the first to break the silence.
“I don’t like when you two are together.”
You faced him, cream cheese in hand. You set the item down on the counter and stalked your way over to him, touching his arm.
“I don’t feel anything for him, Hoon.”
He furrowed his eyebrows at you, hinting at disbelief.
“Not anymore.”
He nods, turning to face you. He clears his throat, “I understand that, Y/N, but he obviously feels differently for you.”
“I realize that,” you commented, looking away.
“I really want to be with you, Y/N. And, I know that you need time, and I’ll give you all the time that I can for you.”
You nodded, looking back at him.
“But,” he started, getting more serious, “I don’t want him to be a part of your life anymore. He doesn’t know how to control himself.”
“I know,” you admitted, pursing your lips, “but I don’t know how to let him down easy.”
Sunghoon was right. Of course he was. But you were being genuine; if Jake wasn’t going to let up weeks ago, he wouldn’t let up now. Especially because he thought he was so close to having you.
The toaster popped, and you walked over, letting your hand drop from Sunghoon’s arm.
“I’ll do what I can.”
x. IS IT FATE THAT EVEN OUR DEPARTS REPEAT?
You were agonizing over Jake coming over. It was the worst idea ever, but this time you would put an end to everything. The thought of that only soothed your nerves slightly.
When Jake arrived at your apartment, you let out a breath that you didn’t realize you’d been holding in.
“Hey,” you breathed out, opening the door for him.
“Hi,” he said, walking into your home, “everything okay?”
You two walked your way to the living room where there were some drinks laid out for you two. You’d laid out wine again, but this time as a nerve soother rather than something to cause an escalation of actions.
“Yeah, I think.” You said, sitting down on a chair. Jake sat on the couch, the seat closest to you.”
“You think?” Jake questioned, smirking at you.
“Yeah, I don’t know,” you admitted honestly. You took a breath in, “I’m just stressed out, I guess.”
You grabbed your glass of wine from the table and took a drink, watching Jake do the same.
“So,” he started, placing his wine glass down, “what’s up with Sunghoon being here this morning?”
“Oh,” you said, shocked at his bluntness of the topic. He’d just got there and was already getting down to business. You ran a hand through your hair, “I don’t know, we kind of made up. It’s a touchy topic right now.”
“I see,” he commented, taking another drink of his glass of wine, “I’m not sure if I should be happy for you or upset for myself.”
You cleared your throat, “Jake, it really has nothing to do with you.” You took another drink of wine before looking back at him.
“Really, because as I recall, you guys broke it off because of me,” he raised his eyebrows at you.
“Yeah, we did,” you looked at him with confusion, “but us getting back together has nothing to do with you.”
“So what you’re saying is,” he got up and walked towards you, “Sunghoon is afraid of what I can do.”
You also stood up, challenging him, “I wouldn’t say afraid,” you cocked an eyebrow at him, “more so he’s not dumb.”
“Oh, but he’s so dumb,” Jake titled his head at you, a flirty pout appearing on his lips, “because if he wasn’t, he wouldn’t have left your apartment today. Now, I get you all to myself.”
God damn this man.
In a rush of lust, he pushed his lips on yours, grabbing your waist. You melted into the kiss, wrapping your arms around his broad shoulders. It was absolutely intoxicating.
Jake broke the kiss and held your face close to his, “He can’t make you feel special like I do, baby.”
He returned to your lips, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. He tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, slightly tugging it unintentionally.
Just like Sunghoon does.
You separated yourself from Jake almost instantly, removing your arms and backing away. His hands were still on your waist, but you grabbed his wrists, “Jake.”
“What’s wrong, baby?”
“Jake, don’t call me that,” you sighed, “we can’t do this anymore. Seriously.”
He loosened his grip on your waist, and you let go of his wrists. He scoffed, “What? Is it because you’re back with Sunghoon now? You guys aren’t even dating. I thought your bond was no-strings-attached.”
“It was,” you said, “it was. But- but now, I have feelings for Sunghoon. Like real, genuine feelings.”
Jake flared his nostrils. It was subtle, but you still noticed.
“I want to be with him.”
Jake turned his head to the side. A blanket of silence was thrown over the room. The tension was extremely thick, it could be cut with a knife.
A minute later, you heard a voice whisper out, “Am I not good enough for you?”
“What?”
“Y/N, you know I’d do anything for you,” he turned back to you, now louder and more frustrated, tears brimming in his eyes. His face was flushed, “but you never give me a fucking chance to prove it.”
“Jake,” you tried deescalating the situation, “I’ve never felt anything for past lust. You know this. This is the same story as when you tried this months ago, and when you tried this yesterday.”
He said nothing.
You continued, “I can’t keep giving you false hope. You deserve someone who can actually love you. That someone is not me.”
He gulped, once again staying silent. The tears in his eyes became more prevalent. The silence lingered for many minutes too long, the atmosphere becoming more and more suffocating at the second.
“I would do anything for you,” he croaked out, “I don’t think that will ever change.”
His anger had dissipated for now, and he was fighting back a frown.
“I can’t-” his voice cracked, “I can’t stand knowing that you’re not mine, or worse, the fact that you’re with Sunghoon. Every single fucking time I see you with him, I feel like I’m being punched in the gut.”
“I’m sorry,” you swallowed, still processing his words. You knew Jake felt strongly about you, but you had no idea it was this strong. You let yourself be quiet for a second before finding any words to reply with, “I really don’t know what to say.”
He laughed a painful laugh, “…but being punched in the gut never killed anybody.”
He wiped at his eyes, furrowing his eyebrows once more, “I wish that I could spit in your face and tell you that I wish we never met.”
You felt yourself hurt at his words.
“But I know that would be a lie.”
Another silence fell.
“It’ll always be you, Y/N.”
You shook your head slightly, feeling tears brim at your own eyes. You were devastated that you were going through this a second time, but somehow this time, it hurt way more than the first.
“Jake…” you sent a sad look to him.
“My door is always open. For you.”
You felt yourself gulp at his words, finding any strength possible to push away any feelings you had at the moment.
“You should probably leave…”
“Okay,” he accepted, whispering. He walked to your apartment door and you followed him.
“Stay safe, Jake.”
He left. You shut the door, locked it, and immediately leaned your back to it and slid down. Deep down, you knew you’d always have a spot in you that cared for Jake. You had grown fond of him in a platonic way.
But that was the problem. He couldn’t just shut out his feelings for you.
Drowning out your guilt was impossible as felt a large weight make its way onto your chest.
xi. IN THE END, THE ANSWER IS ALWAYS ONLY YOU
It’s been four months since that day.
You’d seen Jake around, a couple times at campus and very rarely at group hang outs.
He always sent you an awkward smile, and you knew deep down that seeing you had killed him many times. Anyone could tell that he never looked at his new girlfriend the same way he looked at you.
The atmosphere around each other was always tense, but because you’d promised Sunghoon, Jake wasn’t really a part of your life anymore.
Sunghoon and Jake’s bond had definitely changed. They didn’t seem like friends anymore, if anything it was a more formal relationship. They acknowledged each other’s presence, but even with the new girlfriend, Sunghoon hadn’t let down his guard with Jake.
In a sense, you missed Ella. She deserved a lot better, and you always agonized over how her absence was your fault. Obviously, Jake had a play in it, but you left all the blame for yourself.
In the past months, you’d felt yourself have a shift in behavior. It was odd, having realized that you’d become more open and caring about the relationships in your life. Ningning had told you that “not having the nonchalant front anymore” looked good on you.
You’d let yourself get a lot closer to her. She was now your best friend, always helping you through your mental struggles and rooting for you. She made sure to be there for you all the time, and she was ecstatic about you and Sunghoon making up.
Sunghoon had asked you to be his girlfriend about three months ago, and you had never been happier to had let your guard down to the man. He made you feel special, and you never once regretted your decision of choosing to keep him by your side rather than Jake.
Jake had stayed the same majorly. At least from what you could tell. His new girlfriend was nice enough to you, but you didn’t really think that he was happy with her. It seemed that he was just trying to fill the void that you’d left in him.
And the most ironic part:
His girlfriend looked strikingly similar to you. She was beautiful, of course, but her personality and appearance had almost mirrored yours completely. Her personality was more similar to the one that you’d had before, the nonchalant, doesn’t-care-about-anyone, slight asshole. Contrary to you, however, she never left his side.
Even with her around, you knew the truth.
Jake’s words still forever rung in your mind:
“It’ll always be you.”
a/n : rrrrrrraaaaahhh it’s done
#enhypen#enhypen drabbles#enhypen imagines#enhypen scenarios#enhypen x reader#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen fanfic#enhypen fanfics#enhypen reactions#enhypen headcanons#enhypen x y/n#enhypen jake#enhypen jake x reader#enhypen jake imagines#enhypen jake scenarios#heeseung#enhypen jay#sunghoon#sunoo#jungwon#ni-ki#dvrk moon#finished work dvrk-moon#jake sim x reader#jake x y/n#jake scenarios#jake x reader#jake imagines#jake sim
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slowly, then all at once
author's note: i'm going through some shit and needed to alleviate it with fluff and also it's mat's birthday (or at least it was when i started this)! EDIT: this takes place in an alternative TATGYLB universe bc went an ENTIRELY different direction with this series (because i don't plan well lolol). (stole the title from the fault in our stars because that book had me in a CHOKEHOLD at 14)
pairing: mat barzal x reader
warnings: none? cursing?
summary: the stages of mat falling in love with you
mat saw how you were with ella, the way you'd smile and talk to her like she could hold a conversation. or the way you never chided him or condescended to him when he did something completely stupid.
which is more than what he could say about his teammates.
so when he heard your piece of shit boyfriend screaming at you over the phone? or when he showed up unannounced and trying to "win you back?"
mat was livid.
he was sure jason had never hit you, because if there was any indication of that, mat would be all over it.
so while he's sure jason never inflicted physical harm, he saw the way you kept to yourself and even the way you looked surprised at his invitation to lunch or the game.
it broke his heart a little, to think that you'd never once considered yourself now a part of his life. when, in fact, the second you agreed to watch ella, it was like he'd pulled you into the fold.
he was on a mission to prove it to you.
inviting you to his game was the first step in his original plan.
well.
it was the first non intimidating step. (tito mentioned that maybe meeting his mom and sister after only knowing him for like a week was not the smartest move he'd ever made.)
you still looked out of your element when he asked, but he's positive that it was his own enthusiasm that convinced you to say yes.
and he thought it was a great idea! he got you and jason tickets, thinking that maybe you'd be more comfortable with having him around. and perhaps that was true at some point, but when he saw you, standing with only ella and sydney with water lining your eyes, something in his chest twisted.
you looked shaken, like someone had stuck you in a blender.
"where's jason?" was apparently the wrong thing to ask because sydney changed the subject almost immediately.
you wouldn't even look at him.
and when you told him about your piece of shit boyfriend leaving you?
mat wasn't prepared for the burning in his chest. no one got away with treating a friend of his that way, but seeing as you just avoided the topic altogether, he dropped it.
until you went upstairs to your apartment and didn't text him. tito would say he has a habit of hovering at times and maybe he never really agreed until five minutes passed without a word from you.
if you asked, he would've denied the intense concern growing in his chest. but how else was he supposed to react when you seemed so dissociated the rest of the night?
thankfully, you picked up almost immediately.
"hello?"
mat cleared his throat. "hey, you never texted me to say you got in alright. you okay?”
now it could've only been a few seconds, but it felt like a lifetime before he heard your voice.
“keep the car running, i’ll be down in a few minutes.”
mat was ready to grab ella and head upstairs, car be damned.
he couldn't hear what else really happened on the phone, he only knew that you came downstairs, empty handed, and frazzled. the sight alone had him contemplating going into your apartment to figure out exactly what was going on, but he knew the best decision was take you back to his place.
he'd figured it out when jason showed up with his daughter's car seat screaming at you for wearing his clothes. screaming at you like you were somehow in the wrong, like he wasn't the one who cheated on you.
you.
who had to be the most selfless person he knew (don't tell his mom).
you.
who had readily agreed to take care of his daughter on a whim because he was insanely scared.
you.
who was one of the only topic of conversation his mother wanted to discuss. it used to just be hockey and how he was doing. now the thirty minute phone calls turned into hour and a half long facetimes where ella and you are regular topics for discussion.
mat couldn't comprehend how someone could look at you and want to tear you down, but after you officially broke up with jason? he was determined to show you how much you deserved.
exhibit a
"it's five sugars, right?" mat called over his shoulder once he heard your footsteps coming into the kitchen.
you paused in the doorway. "what?"
mat turned around, two mugs of coffee in his hands. "you like five sugars, right?"
ella sat on your hip but didn't seem to give a flying fuck that he was in front of her.
"you--you remembered?" you tilted your head. "you only made me coffee like once?"
mat's face heated up at the implication but smirked anyway. "i have a great memory!"
"could've surprised me from the amount of times you get hit."
mat shrugged, still not completely used to the idea of you watching his games, even if they were just highlights. he held the mug out to you in exchange for ella.
"you wanna come to a game again?" he offered.
you looked at him before breaking eye contact and sipping your coffee. "i don't know if that's the best idea after last time. i don't want to embarrass you again--"
"woah woah woah," mat sat his coffee mug on the island before holding a hand up at you. it didn't sit right with him to see you so ashamed of something someone else did. "what happened at the game was not your fault. it was his, okay? you weren't to blame."
"you weren't even there to see it--"
"and i don't need to, okay? i know you." he meant it. but seeing as the conversation was getting a little too heavy, he changed the subject. "just think about it! and let me know what game you want to go to."
you didn't say anything, but just gave him a small smile and nodded.
he'd count it as a win.
exhibit b
it'd been about four months since you'd started working with mat, three months since you moved in.
not that he was counting.
there were things that were harder with having you around. mainly remembering to wear a shirt when he wakes up in the morning, or to not adjust his junk until he was in the bathroom or his bedroom.
but--
there were many more things that were significantly easier (and better) with you in his life (and apartment).
sleep training ella was easy as hell
keeping an eye on ella who was walking now
the apartment actually smelled nice? not that it smelled bad before, but now it smelled like a home.
and who knew decorative pillows made a difference?
but his favorite thing recently?
grocery shopping.
he was currently pushing ella around in a shopping cart while you scrolled on your phone through the list.
"so what do we need next?" he asked.
"if you'd give me a second, i'd have the answer for you," you snipped.
by now, mat was used to your snide comments, knowing that you were just a bit quippy when you were focused.
"ella, is your nanny being a little cranky?" he joked, ignoring the glare you were shooting his way.
you rolled your eyes and tossed a bag of bread at his head that would've hit its mark had he not had the reflexes that gave him a professional hockey career.
"excuse me?" an older woman spoke up from behind him. "as cute as your little family is, can you move out of the way? you're clogging up the aisle."
mat blinked. time froze. he'd never fully considered the implications of the three of you out in public together. but being the comment of you, him, and ella being a "little family" had his heart stopping in his chest.
"oh of course!" you spoke up and grabbed mat by the arm. the feel of your touch alone had him directing his attention to the physical contact.
he looked at you instead of the woman, watched as you mumbled to ella as you pulled all three of you out of the way. his brain went on overdrive.
god he never wanted you to let go of him ever again. he would give anything to just be able to hold onto you a little longer.
and he must've been thinking for too long because you were snapping your fingers in front of his face?
"mat? you okay? did i lose you there?" you had a cute pinch between your brows and a small frown on your face.
that wouldn't do.
so he smiled and nodded. "sorry, just thinking about something."
you.
exhibit c
you went out for the night with sydney while he hung out with tito and anders. initially, you said you'd look for a sitter to cover you, but mat laughed that suggestion off.
he didn't say it, but you were no longer a nanny to him anymore. and you deserved a night off without the stress of finding a replacement. anders and marty suggested a babysitter that he hired for the night immediately.
"are you sure you don't want me to wait until she gets here? i can help explain ella's routine!" you said.
mat rolled his eyes as he herded you towards the door. "i'll be fine, go have fun!"
you let him gently push you out of the door but turned around and looked at him. "if you need me, text me."
mat smiled. "if you need me, call me."
the babysitter arrived five minutes early which meant mat could spend that time kissing ella's cheeks and reiterating her schedule to the sitter.
he was the last person at the bar, anders and tito were already sitting in a booth, each with a beer in their hands, an extra one on the table for him (he assumed).
"didn't wanna leave ella?" anders asked.
tito scoffed. "more like he didn't wanna leave mama bear." mat rolled his eyes while anders cackled in response.
"shut up, beau."
"ah! but you didn't deny it!"
mat shook his head and took a seat in the leather booth. "what's there to deny? we're roommates and she watches ella all the time. we're friends."
tito made a noise in the back of his throat. "you and i are friends, barzy. you make goo goo eyes at her when you think no one is looking."
"no i don't."
anders piped in. "you nearly ran into me on the ice because you were staring at her wearing your jersey."
"no," he defended. "ella was making a really cute face!"
anders blinked at him before rolling his eyes. "sure, barzy."
mat grumbled under his breath and chugged half his beer.
two hours or so had passed with the three of them talking shit about other teams. anders had hinted at leaving, checking his phone just to make sure grace didn't text him. mat found himself doing the same thing to make sure the babysitter hadn't said anything, or maybe to see if you had.
tito didn't seem to give two shits about his phone. and why would he? he was the only one without kids.
they were in the middle of a conversation about the upcoming devils game when mat's phone started buzzing.
sydney martin.
mat picked up the phone, albeit a bit confused. "hello?"
"mat! hey!" sydney greeted. "are you busy?"
mat glanced at tito and anders whose brows were furrowed. "no, why what's up?" his swore his heart stopped in his chest when she said your name. "is she okay? what's wrong?"
"she's a little drunk and crying and asking for you. i don't know if you're sober enough--"
"i'm sober," he said. "only had one beer." he was already reaching for his keys in his pocket. "what's she crying about?"
sydney sighed through the phone. "we saw jason and her old roommate out at the bar tonight. he made a few comments."
mat's jaw clenched. he forced words out through his teeth. "what did he say?"
"mat--"
"no, if he said some shit, sydney, i need to know."
"no," she corrected. "what you need to do is get over here and take her home."
mat was already standing. "i'm on my way."
sydney hung up.
"everything okay?" anders asked.
"probably something to do with mama bear," tito commented.
mat sighed. "she ran into her piece of shit ex and is now inconsolable. i have to go pick her up."
anders snorted. "right. 'have to.'"
mat ignored the comment and said goodbye, already rushing out of the bar to get to you.
it was another ten minutes before he saw you, standing outside a bar with sydney. he could see your tears from the car.
mat jumped out and hurried towards you. sydney all but pushed you into his arms.
and it felt like the world made sense again. you fit perfectly in his arms, against his chest, head tucked into his neck.
"mat--" you sobbed. "i--i can't--"
he kissed the top of your head. "let's get you home, okay?"
exhibit d
ella was saying actual words now like most babies her age. mat used to look at anders, marty, and other parents a little judgmentally, he'll admit, because while babies learning to do things was incredibly cool, he didn't fully understand the hype.
until she said dada for the first time.
it damn near made him cry.
and like for all of her other milestones, you were there beside him with your phone recording the moment. you almost missed it, but you had a sixth sense for those things, figuring out when ella was going to do something incredible.
that was two weeks ago and it still never got old to hear her say his name when he came home or rounded the corner.
he'd been known as mathew, mat, barzy, barzal, gary, and a slew of other names, but dada had to be his favorite. to belong to someone who needed you so wholly was the best feeling in the world.
that and seeing you smile at him.
he'd accepted it now, there was no denying it, not after half the team was on his case about his feelings for you. and how could he not fall in love with you? you were gentle and kind and handled the shittiest situations with so much grace (he wasn't joking, he'd wanted to fight jason the second you came out of your old apartment looking like you'd seen a ghost).
you handled his friends with ease, never letting tito's teasing affect you. you handled the "mama bear" nickname with ease, even laughing at it at times.
you just made his world so much better just by existing in it.
which is why he gave you the day off while he and tito took ella around the city.
ella was fine for most of the day, though she kept glancing around.
"probably looking for mama bear," tito guessed. "i would be too if you were the one looking after me."
mat flipped him off behind ella's back. "i'm not an idiot."
"before you met mama bear, you kinda were."
he rolled his eyes. "sorry for not knowing how to take care of a baby as soon as i find out i have one. most people have nine months to prepare for the arrival of a child. ella literally showed up on my doorstep."
truth be told, he was parroting the words you'd said to him a week ago when the guilt settled in about how much of a shitty father he was. you were quick to correct him, saying the exact things he told tito, that for a man who found out he had a child only a few months ago, he was doing a great job, and he was even better than some other fathers who left the parenting to their partner.
"i'd never leave you hanging like that," he'd said to you.
but you shrugged off his comment. "it's a little different when it's my job to take care of your kid, mat."
"you've done a great job, barzy," beau said, clapping a hand on his shoulder. "there's no doubt about it. you can tell because she loves you."
ella smiled at mat and pushed his cheeks together.
"what do you say we get back to mama bear, huh?" he asked his daughter who only seemed to smile wider at the mention your nickname.
it was another fifteen minutes before they were home, rowdy and disturbing the peace and quiet you'd created for yourself.
"we're back!" mat called as tito shut the front door behind him.
they were setting things down on the floor by the door when you walked out in sweats.
"mama bear!” tito cheered.
you smiled and mat couldn't breathe. "how was my baby?"
mat was embarrassed to say he almost answered for himself. "she was great," was what he said instead. "isn't that right, ella bean?"
ella was reaching for you, making grabby hands in your general direction babbling something he couldn't quite make out.
"what'd you say, baby?" you asked.
"mama," she said.
and the room went silent.
mat's eyes kept darting from ella to you like he was watching a game of olympic table tennis. ella kept reaching for you until you finally gave in and held her. it was then he saw the tears streaming down your cheeks.
mat immediately went into defense mode.
"i'm sorry, i promise i didn't teach her intentionally, she probably picked it up from us calling you mama bear all the time and--"
you shut him up by placing a small kiss on his cheek and squeezing his forearm before turning on your heel.
"let's take a nap, ella bean."
mat couldn't speak, not even when you left the room. tito clapped him on the shoulder before heading towards the kitchen.
"you're so gone for her."
exhibit e
"are you sure about this?" you called from the other room. mat was in the living room adjusting his tie in the mirror on the wall while the babysitter was playing with ella on the floor.
to be honest, when he was complaining to beau about not having a date to some charity event the islanders were hosting, he wasn't expecting beau to suggest you. though, given how beau kept winking and nudging him after every time you and mat so much as made eye contact, it shouldn't have been surprising.
it wasn't that he didn't think of asking you, it was more like he didn't think you'd actually say yes.
"sure about what?" he called back.
"bringing me."
"i've never been more sure about something in awhile."
"you're so dramatic," you laughed.
mat would give anything to bottle up the sound.
"does this look okay?' mat turned when your voice sounded closer than it was a second ago.
he couldn't breathe.
god you looked beautiful.
"oh," you said softly. "your tie matches my dress."
if he could've he would've looked down to confirm your observation, but he couldn't take his eyes off you. your hair was perfectly styled, your makeup, flawless. the navy of your dress was perfectly matched to his tie and pocket square, something that shouldn't matter as much to him as it did.
but it was you.
so it meant the world.
you looked like you were his.
"yeah," was all he could say.
"you never answered my question," you said. "do i look okay? because if it's too much--"
"perfect," he said. "you look perfect."
you smiled. "sydney picked it out." thank you sydney. "you look handsome too mat, though, your tie..." you gestured to his neck so he turned around to see it crooked still. "do you need help?"
"yes please," he sighed. "i've looked up videos, but tito usually helps me do it."
"aw," you cooed. "you looked it up? that's so cute!" your deft fingers began undoing the knot and redoing it way better than he could've.
"how are you so good at this?"
you shrugged. "when i was fourteen, i read a book where a girl tied her husband's tie and i wanted to be able to do the same for the love of my life one day. so i asked my dad to teach me. i'm a bit of a hopeless romantic."
the love of your life.
god he'd give anything to be loved by you.
and it would be so easy just to lean forward a couple of inches and kiss you.
right there.
give in to what he'd been feeling for months.
but the babysitter rounded the corner with ella who was chanting mama and dada which somehow ruined the mood and made him want to kiss you even more.
"be good, sweet girl. we'll see you tomorrow." you made your way to the front door while he kissed his daughter on the head.
"i'm not sure how long we'll be out, but i'll keep you updated," he told the babysitter.
the babysitter nodded, which to be honest, he barely noticed because his attention was back on you and how your dress, while it had sleeves, had a dip in the back. he didn't know that skin could be so alluring, but maybe it was the fact that it was you.
mat cleared his throat and bid the babysitter and ella goodbye before ushering the both of you out of the door.
the drive lasted longer than he wanted it to, mainly because he couldn't wait to get to the event just to show you off.
was this how he was supposed to feel with all of his other exes? the desire to show the world you were his?
"you okay? you're quiet, it's unlike you," you said.
mat shrugged, mainly so he didn't immediately profess his feelings. "just a lot on my mind."
"uh oh. that can't be good," you joked. you leaned over the console and placed your chin in your hand. "you wanna talk about it?"
mat's hands on the wheel tensed, mainly to keep himself from leaning over and kissing you immediately.
"i'm good, maybe we can discuss it later."
you shrugged. "if you say so."
the both of you arrived at the event shortly thereafter with mat passing his keys off to the valet. "stay seated," he told you before getting out and rounding the car to open your door.
"you didn't have to--"
"i know," he smiled. "i wanted to." mat offered you his arm and you took it, wrapping your hand around his bicep like it belonged there.
the two of you spotted marty and sydney first; the latter all but shrieked when she saw you.
"you look amazing!" she said before tugging you out of mat's arm and into her own. "i told you this dress was the one."
"you didn't say i would've matched mat," you mumbled, though he still heard it over the buzz in the room. he was always listening to you.
marty nudged him. "you seem pleased with yourself."
mat smiled. "i am."
you were laughing at something sydney said when tito came up and clapped him and marty on the shoulders. "let's get you a drink, barzy. you look thirsty." he leaned in. "in more than one way."
mat shoved him off and leaned towards you, gently touching your arm. "i'm going with beau and marty to get a drink, but i'll be back."
you smiled and nodded. "okay, don't worry about me, mat. i'll be fine in your absence."
he let himself be whisked away from you and towards the bar where a drink was placed in his hand pretty quickly.
"so," tito started. "you two match."
"it was syd's doing," marty explained. "she orchestrated the whole thing. picked out the dress based on the tie mat wears every year. it was her new project."
mat flushed but did his best to brush it off.
"i don't know how you did it barzy," tito continued. "she looks good. if i were you i would've--"
"watch it, beauvillier."
"i was gonna say--"
"i don't care what you were gonna say, i probably wouldn't have liked it."
"well then, maybe you should take a chance and ask her out finally. the pining was cute at first, now it's bordering on pathetic."
mat rolled his eyes while marty laughed into his drink.
"look, you have a good thing going, you brought her here as your date, ella calls her mama, you two are as good as locked in and committed. you just have to do the hard work of officially asking her out!"
his gaze travelled to the other side of the room where you were laughing along with sydney and grace. you looked like you belonged in his world.
effortlessly.
mat made a move to go over to you, but marty caught his arm. "this is not the place to ask her out," he said. "as much as you want to, you don't want her thinking it took a pretty dress to get you to take her out."
"that's not the case here--"
"does she know that?"
mat rolled his eyes and took a sip of his drink.
it was another thirty minutes before he made his way back to you. he found you standing alone on the balcony with a glass of champagne in your hand.
"you okay?" he asked. "no one's bothering you or anything, right?"
you looked over your shoulder and snorted. "i'm not important enough to be bothered by the donors, mat."
"don't say that. you're important."
you rolled your eyes. "not what i meant, mathew."
god he loved it when you said his name.
"i just meant that the donors don't really pay attention to me, so i've just been hanging out with the wives all night since my date ditched me," you teased.
"okay to be fair, tito pulled me away, i would've stayed with you all night if i could've."
you blinked. "really?" you asked in a small voice.
he nodded until he found the words to speak. "i love spending time with you. you're one of my favorite people."
within a split second you were closing the distance between the two of you and wrapping your arms around his waist. your arms snuck under his coat so that the only thing separating your skin from his was the thin material of his dress shirt.
it only took him a split second to react to the hug and wrap you in his arms.
you mumbled against his chest. "you're one of my favorite people, too."
in conclusion:
in the end, there was nothing special about that day. it was a saturday in the middle of july back in coquitlam. by the grace of god, he'd convinced you to come to canada for him, not that you could really refuse as he was the one signing your paychecks, you'd joked (though he made it clear he'd continue paying you even if you didn't go).
and maybe he regretted it a little bit, seeing you bond with his family was another nail in his coffin of falling deeper in love with you. there was no way out now, not that he'd ever want one.
it was one particularly hot day in the summer that mat dragged you and the rest of his family to the beach. and maybe that was a mistake (seeing you in a red bikini in public should be illegal).
you sat in the sand with ella building castles, or at least attempting to, while he tried to drown liana in the water. it wasn't until liana finally dunked him, that he trudged back to shore, bent out of shape and irritated.
"you can dish it out but can't take it?" you teased as he plopped onto the sand next to you.
mat glared instead of saying anything mainly because ella was starting to pick up more and more words and she'd say "fuck" too many times thanks to his mouth.
speaking of, when she saw her dad, ella immediately called him before throwing herself into his lap, completely forgetting about you. it was funny to see mainly because it was a new trend of ella's, ditching you for him. it was even funnier because how put out you'd be about it.
just like now with your lip poked out and your eyes rolling.
"oh don't be a sore loser," mat said. "she used to love you more than me."
"well that makes sense, i'm way more likable than you are."
"i can't argue that."
liana came running into their direct line of sight with a polaroid camera in her hand. "i wanna get a picture of the happy family," she said as her explanation. "say cheese!"
mat froze but you didn't bat an eyelash at the idea of being called family. sure, he'd considered you a part of his ever since you agreed to watch his child, but he didn't know you felt the same.
"smile, mathew," you nudged him in the ribs.
he turned his head towards you, ignoring his sister's groans and chirps. he ignored the sound of a camera clicking and the subsequent flash that followed.
his focus was on you.
"mat, what're you looking at?" you asked. he could vaguely register liana walking away as your eyes searched his face for any hint of what could be going on, but all he could think about was you.
you wearing his jersey and holding ella at the stanley cup finals.
you in a few years with a ring on your left hand that he put there.
you with a newborn baby that was the perfect mix of the both of you.
you, old and crinkly, holding his hand on the couch as you told your grandkids stories.
you.
you.
you.
before he could even stop himself, he leaned forward and captured your lips with his.
you responded not a beat later.
and maybe it was embarrassing, how eager he was or how his hand felt like the perfect fit against your cheek. but he couldn't give a shit.
not when he'd waited so long for something like this. for someone like this.
and when you both pulled away, much too soon in his opinion, your eyes were wide.
"why'd you do that?" you whispered.
he shrugged and adjusted ella in his arms. "because my life is better with you in it. because i love you." he cleared his throat. "why'd you kiss me back?"
you smiled and leaned into kiss him again. this time though, instead of pulling fully away, you stayed close so that your lips brushed his. "because i love you too."
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I can't stop thinking about the two kisses in Be My Favorite
I can't stop thinking about the future kiss and the desperation when Pisaeng just grabbed Kawi. Years of pent up feelings, of unvoiced yearning, of wanting of insecurity. Closeness that makes you feel both alive and dead a little bit inside and you can't stop it anymore you can't stop yourself anymore and you have to know before it's too late, a last chance for yourself because it has been years of this, of slowly burning… Of smiles and dates and being inseparable and sometimes you just kinda sense it, that spark, that inkling that you're not alone in this, that something is brewing that could be so much more than it is now
And I felt that desperation deep in my soul when Pisaeng grabbed Kawi head with both his hands and kissed him because he couldn’t take it anymore. The forcefulness of it all, the way it’s just so hard, so difficult, so painful
And I think about how Kawi reacts, how he just pushes Pisaeng away, a deer in headlights, something he doesn't expect, something he can’t comprehend because he hasn’t lived it, it’s just the beginning for him
And I can't stop thinking about the failed kiss and how it is just so vastly different. It's something still so fragile, so uncertain. A siren call and a gravity pull and Pisaeng doesn't know what he wants but he feels it too much already, wants the companionship, the closeness and it all feels like an untold dream just now growing its wings and getting stronger and stronger, a low simmer ready to transform into a fire. And your heart keeps beating more and more and more and you're trembling and you don't know why. And the way their noses brush together, the way Pisaeng closes his eyes and their lips sort of touch and then that "don't" that feels like a gunshot in the night, a sudden alarm, a sign to wake up
And the way Kawi was just laying there, all struggling stopped, feeling a little mesmerized, just a little lightheaded
And I feel Kawi is under the spell too because that “don't” jerks him up, splits the silence between intermingling breaths, jerking him away from the dream, the fantasy of something he didn't even know he wanted
And then I think about the way the "what are you doing" is said so softly, vulnerably, a little trembling.
And lastly I think about how in the end the failed kiss is a direct consequence of the future one. Because it's Kawi pulling away that forced Pisaeng to confront how he feels.
#be my favorite#pisaengkawi#I have waved my sanity goodbye for the foreseeable future#ella's cursed thoughts
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Snowed In || Saturday [Jake Seresin x OC]
A Jake Seresin AU miniseries
Summary: When a massive storm shutters every airport in New York, you receive an unexpected call. Jake Seresin, the ex-boyfriend of your college roommate, is stranded at JFK with nowhere to go. Somehow you find yourself hosting Jake for a long weekend in your studio apartment. What happens when you realize that maybe your long-standing hatred for him was covering up something else?
Pairing: Jake “Hangman” Seresin x OC [Ella Finnley]
Trope: Forced proximity; enemies to lovers
Warnings: Cursing, references to cheating, eventual smut
Wordcount: 4.2K
Masterlist here; Part one aka Friday here
You had spent seven years trying to reinvent yourself after college. Almost exactly three thousand miles between you and Stanford, and yet the ghost of who you had been haunted you.
The funny best friend. The sidekick. The mousy girl in class. The overachiever. The one who wasn’t invited to parties.
You had moved to New York after graduation and taken a job with a small newspaper, working your way up. Along the way you had gotten a haircut, figured out how to apply makeup with a wet beauty blender, how to dress for your small frame. You had traveled at every opportunity, made friends with people across the city, dated a hedge fund analyst and a bee farmer and a NYU professor. You had done everything you had wanted to do and more.
But when you laid down to sleep at night, or first thing in the morning, all of that change escaped you. And your mind immediately flitted to the version of yourself that you had once been but no longer were.
The girl Jake Seresin had known and loathed.
***
The day was bright. Blinding. You groaned, rolling over, taking the covers with you, trying to shield your papery eyelids from the light streaming through the blinds.
It was no use. You groaned, eyes flying open.
Jake.
For a split second you had forgotten that not ten feet away, Jake Seresin was hypothetically asleep on your couch.
Slowly, you sat up, peering over the edge of the couch. But it was empty. The pillow and comforter that you had laid out the night before folded neatly and set in the corner. You frowned. And then the sound of the tap in the bathroom caught your attention. A moment later it stopped and Jake emerged from the bathroom into the hallway, wearing a pair of joggers and a fresh shirt, hair damp. He smiled. “Hey Finn.”
That was it. Like he had forgotten how the two of you had left it the night before.
“I made coffee. Hope that’s OK. But you don’t really have much else,” he said, sitting down on the ottoman.
“Ugh, yeah, I meant to go to the store, but I never did.”
Jake shrugged. “I think that’s our only option at this point.”
You stood up, the pant legs of your silky pajamas pooling onto the cold hardwood floor as you crossed the room and placed one hand on the window. It was frosty. Blinding white from all the snow swirling in every direction. It made the air practically opaque. “Not it,” you replied, turning around with one finger pressed to the tip of your nose.
Jake laughed. “Fuck it, fine, I’ll go.”
You grinned. Maybe having him around wouldn’t be all bad. “You can go later if you want. I’m not a big breakfast person, anyway.”
“Later is good.” Jake sat on the edge of the couch. “Listen, Finn. About last night.”
“I’m sorry,” you blurted and Jake’s eyes widened.
He laughed. A surprised chortle. “Jesus. Never thought I’d hear Ella Finnley apologize.”
“People change, Seresin.”
“I know,” he replied, his voice softer. “That’s what I keep trying to tell you.”
You looked him up and down. You had rarely thought of Jake Seresin in the almost ten years since the two of you graduated from Stanford. But when he did pop into your mind, it was almost always at the most random of times, triggered by a memory. The smell of a particular flavor of vodka that you remembered drinking at his fraternity house, or if someone on the street passed with a distinct Texas accent. The years had dulled your impression of him, coated him in a sepia film in your memory that automatically paired Jake Seresin with dickwad.
Maybe, just maybe, you had been wrong. Or perhaps he had done what you had tried to do.
Had he actually, fundamentally, changed for the better?
“I’m going to shower,” you said, hooking one finger over your shoulder.
“I’ll be here,” Jake said, looking around the studio apartment. The warm water helped wake you up, but no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t shake the way Jake had looked when he said he had changed from your mind. There was something there that he had never embodied before. At least, not the Jake you had known.
You turned off the tap, wrapping up in a white towel and sitting down on the edge of the tub, grabbing your phone and dialing a phone number you hadn’t touched in ages.
She picked up on the third ring. “Hello?”
“Suze,” you said, smiling.
On the other end of the line, Suzannah whopped. “Ellie! Oh my God, it’s been forever! How are you?”
“I’m good,” you whispered, trying not to be too loud. “Listen, I have a question for you.”
“Everything OK?”
“Yeah, it’s fine. I, um, Jake Seresin called me.”
There was a pause. Then, “Why?”
You sighed. “He, um, he asked to stay with me. Guess he was stuck at the airport with the storm that’s coming in.”
Suzannah wasn’t one to stay quiet for long. She had an opinion about everything, from the color of your nails to the best way to load a dishwasher to why Santorini is only for tourists. So silence from Suzannah was telling.
“Suze?” you asked softly.
“I’m here,” she said after a moment. “What did you tell him?”
“He’s in my living room.”
“Where the hell are you?”
“The bathroom. Hiding.”
She laughed. “You fucking idiot.”
“Tell me why you guys broke up again.”
“Ellie,” she sighed. “You of all people know.”
You did. Jake had slept with not one but two of Suzannah’s sorority sisters while the two of them were on a break. But break in the Ross and Rachel definition of break. As in the two of them had parted ways for no more than three days before Jake had fucked the other girls.
“Why’d you call, Finn?” she asked. “You already made the decision to let him in, obviously. So what are you looking for me to answer?”
“Do you think people can change?” you asked.
“Yeah, I do,” she replied. “By people do you mean Jake?”
“Maybe.”
Suzannah sighed. “You’re smart, Finn. Always have been. But you don’t trust people and that’s your fatal flaw. To answer your question, yes, I think Jake always had the ability to change. I don’t date losers, babe, you know that. Even back then.”
I laughed lightly. “God, I miss you Suze.”
“Call more,” she said. “And not just because you’re hiding in your bathroom from my ex-boyfriend.”
“I feel like I’m twenty two again,” you replied. “Afraid to come out of the bathroom because you and Jake were fucking on the couch.”
“Sorry about that.” She didn’t sound sorry at all. “You need to go or else he’s going to think you have IBS or something.” Another pause. “Tell me something Finn, and don’t lie to me.”
You sucked in a breath. With Suzannah, you never knew where the conversation was going to go. “OK?”
“Is he still hot?”
You let out a snort. “Yes. Unfortunately.”
“That’s what I thought. Damn men for just getting better with age while I look like a sickly Victorian child at the ripe age of twenty nine. Anyways, I love you, call me when you’re no longer a fugitive in your own home.”
“Love you too, Suze.” You ended the call, shivering in the thin towel. When you realized you had left a change of clothes in the main part of the apartment instead of bringing something to the bathroom, you groaned.
Whipping open the door, you scampered down the long wooden hallway, shivering in the cold, rounding the corner on your tiptoes. Something hard hit you as your eyes were turned downward toward the floor. A solid mass smashed against your front and before you realized, you were falling to the ground, a small shriek echoing through the walls of your apartment as you and Jake tumbled to the floor in a heap of limbs, his fingers grasping for purchase on whatever he could.
Which just happened to be on your bare ass where your towel rode up.
“Fuck!” he exclaimed as the two of you smacked against the floor, your heads thankfully bouncing lightly against the cream colored rug to your left.
Your eyes flew open as something heavy rolled over you, your knee pressing up into Jake’s crotch instinctively as his fingers touched your bare ass.
“Oh my God!” Jake groaned, rolling over you as quickly as he had rolled on top, curling into a ball, hands cradling his crotch.
“Shit, I’m sorry!” you shrieked, kneeling next to him, gripping the towel around you with one hand, the other hovering over his pained body. “Did I get you?”
Jake moaned, nodding his head. “Yeah, Finn, you got me.”
You sat back on your heels. “Well you touched my ass so I think we’re even.”
“Fuck,” he muttered, rolling onto his side. “Not even close, babe.”
“Don’t babe me,” you said, standing up, making sure to keep your legs closed under the short towel. “You’re fine.”
Jake grunted, pushing himself to sit as you rifled through the dresser, pulling out a pair of jeans and a tight henley bodysuit. You brushed past him on your way back to the bathroom to change and Jake’s hand reached out, fingers circling your ankle. You gasped, looking down at him. He smirked. “It’s a nice ass.”
“Oh fuck off, Seresin,” you muttered, tugging your ankle from his grip as he chuckled. “Your balls aren’t even sore are they?” you called down the hall.
“Oh, they are!”
“Dick,” you whispered to yourself, shutting the door.
***
“Finn?”
“Yeah?”
“Can I turn the TV on?”
You scowled. “What happened to independent reading time, Seresin?”
After towelgate, you had emerged into the living room with a plan. To make time go faster, you and Jake would divide the day like elementary school. Breakfast coffee followed by gym class, per Jake’s suggestion, independent reading and a late lunch.
“And what the hell are we supposed to do for gym class when there’s a blizzard outside?” you asked.
Jake shrugged. “Yoga?”
The two of you had struggled through a yoga video that you screencast on your TV, and after Jake had obviously been staring at your ass in downward facing dog you smacked him on the arm.
But an hour into reading and Jake was already calling it quits.
He put his book, a worn copy of Wuthering Heights from your bookshelf, off to the side, kicking up his feet onto the coffee table. “Let’s play a game.”
“Game time isn’t for an hour,” you replied, never taking your eyes off of your book, a new thriller by Ruth Ware. “God, are you sure you have a job? How do you focus on any work?”
“I bounce around a lot,” he said.
“Bounce around jobs a lot?”
“Bounce around projects,” Jake clarified.
You looked up, eyebrows raised. “What are you, a drug dealer?”
“Finn.”
“What?” you asked, eyes flicking back to your book. “You never were great in school.”
“Hey,” Jake cried. “I wasn’t great at Sawyer’s fiction seminar. Doesn’t mean I flunked out of any other class.”
“You flunked out of Sawyer’s fiction?” You laughed. “God, that’s bad.”
“It’s been nine years,” Jake said. “Can’t you let little things go?”
“Nope,” you said, putting your book down. Outside, the snow had slowed so you could finally see through the opaque wall of flurries. “Fine, since you can’t sit still, why don’t you go to the bodega.”
Jake frowned. “What do you need there?”
“You’re kidding, right?”
Jake looked around before turning back to face you, eyebrows raised. “A hammer?”
“What the fuck would I need a hammer for?”
“Why are you sending me to the hardware store during a snowstorm?”
You bent in half laughing. “Wait, are you telling me you think a bodega is a hardware store?”
“Well isn’t it?”
“No,” you said, wiping under one eye. “It’s a fucking corner store. Bread, soda, beer. Chopped cheese. Midnight cigarettes.”
“You don’t still smoke, do you?” he asked.
“No, not anymore.”
“Me neither.”
You shook your head, standing up and grabbing your purse, pulling out a card. “Here, take this.”
“No way.” Jake stood, pushing the gold Amex away from him. “I got this.”
“Fine,” you said, sliding the card back into your wallet. “I don’t know, get us stuff to last another two days. Some pasta, maybe. Fruit so we don’t get scurvy.”
“Scurvy in two days,” Jake muttered to himself, shrugging on a jacket, “that’s new information.”
“Vodka,” you said. “And limes. I’m going to need to be drunk to deal with another day of being with you.”
Jake turned toward the door, shaking his head. “Aren’t you a delight, Finn.”
You tried to read while Jake was gone but every little sound in the hallway would make you look up. Finally, after five or so times of that happening, you gave up, setting the book down and sitting on the windowsill overlooking Fifth Ave.
He was gone for a suspiciously long time. So long that at one point you almost pulled out your phone to call him, convinced he had gotten lost, when the doorbell rang. A minute later, you tugged open the door.
Jake was covered in melted snow, huffing and puffing. He had two bags in each hand, and a bouquet of flowers under one arm. You frowned. “Flowers?”
He stepped inside, tracking muddy water into the foyer of the apartment and you grimaced. “For you,” he said and your heart skipped a beat. Jake set down the bags, holding out the bouquet of white roses. “For letting me stay.”
“Jake,” you whispered.
He smiled. “Just take them, Finn,” he said softly. “For once in your life, let me do something for you.”
“Fine,” you replied, taking the flowers and pressing them to your nose. They smelled clean and soft and you couldn’t remember the last time a guy had bought you flowers. You headed down the hall toward the kitchen. “Shoes off, Seresin. Stop tracking mud everywhere.”
“I know,” Jake said and he was close, so close behind you that you could feel his breath on your exposed shoulder. “I’m getting something to wipe it up.”
He reached around your body, grabbing a few paper towels from the dispenser on the counter to your right, his chest brushing against your back before he pulled away. When he did, a rush of cold air hugged you tightly, reinforcing the fact that Jake was gone.
Once all of the groceries were unpacked, you and Jake were settled at the dining room table eating two bodega sandwiches.
“You’re like a kid who was left alone for the weekend, do you know that?”
Jake looped up from his bacon egg and cheese. “What makes you say that?”
“The groceries, Jake,” you replied. “Ice cream, cookie dough, Doritos, mac n cheese boxes? Seriously?”
“I got fruit like you asked,” he said, taking the last bite of his sandwich and wiping his mouth with a cloth napkin. “Besides, it’s a snowstorm. Don’t we get a free pass?”
“Free pass for what?”
Jake stood, clearing his plate and your empty one. He smirked. “A free pass to do whatever we want, Ella. Whatever you wouldn’t normally do. Nothing is off the table.”
“I can think of a few things that are.”
***
Jake was better behaved with a full stomach. The two of you wrapped up reading time, and even played a game of Monopoly that you had found buried in your closet. Before long, it started to get dark, the sun sliding below the buildings until the sky was just a dark blanket peppered by the continuous snow.
You flicked the news on. “More snow is expected to fall across parts of Manhattan and the wider Tristate tonight,” the newscaster said. “We could see up to another six inches overnight.”
“Fuck,” you muttered, turning it off as Jake returned with two glasses. He handed one to you. “What is this?”
“Vodka tonic,” he replied and you took a sip. “Since I know you’re trying to get me liquored up so I’ll have to sleep with you.”
You sputtered, vodka spraying out of your mouth as Jake cackled, settling down onto the couch next to you.
“Easy there,” he said, patting your knee, squeezing gently as you wiped at your mouth.
“I think of the two of us, you’re the one that’s easy to get into bed, Seresin,” you murmured. His hand was still resting on your thigh.
“Maybe so,” Jake said, his eyes never leaving yours. “The couch isn’t too comfortable, you were right.”
“You’re not sleeping on the bed with me.”
“What if I beg?”
“Is that your kink? You want to have to beg for sex?”
Jake leaned back, taking a sip of his drink, his hand still hot on your leg. “Sweetheart. I’ve never had to beg a day in my life.”
You crossed your legs, letting his hand slip off. “Never say never, Seresin.”
***
Somewhere between the third and fourth vodka soda was when things started to blur. Jake had brought the bottle out into the living room, along with a pack of tonic waters and a lime on a cutting board. At some point, you kicked off your slippers, tucking your feet up beneath you and Jake did the same, scooting closer on the couch, one arm stretched out over the tufted back.
You leaned forward, reaching for more vodka, sliding a little and Jake’s arm shot out, catching you around the middle, suspending you in midair so you didn’t fall.
Your faces were close together. He was basked in warm light from the candles on the mantle and the soft yellow lamp in the corner. He smelled good and cozy and for a second, you could almost forget that he was Jake Seresin. He was just a really attractive guy in your apartment looking at you like he never wanted to tear his eyes away.
“How on earth are you single, Finn?” Jake asked, his fingers tightening around my side. His green eyes were clear and wide.
You grabbed the vodka bottle, dumping some into my glass, and Jake finally released me. But his knee was pressed against my leg still, warm and inviting. “I don’t like dating,” you said. “Every guy is the same. He’s Midtown East and he has three cell phones or he lives in Fidi and he works twenty hours a day or God forbid he’s from Brooklyn and he wants me to take the L on the weekends. He’s an Upper West side dick whose mother will never approve of me. He’s an Upper East Side prick who would never look my way because I didn’t go to prep school. Or maybe he’s another Stanford alum, but even then I probably won't be good enough for him somehow.”
“How could you not be good enough?” Jake whispered.
“You overestimate me, Jake,” you replied. “And you overestimate the New York dating scene.”
“You’re smart,” he said. “Beautiful. Charming in a really dickish, sarcastic way.” You laughed, head tossed back and Jake’s fingers on the back of the couch tickled your neck. “The whole package, El. Always have been.”
“You didn’t like me in college, Seresin,” you replied. “What made you change your mind?”
“Who said I didn’t like you in college?”
“You did! The way you always gave me shit and how you always avoided me if we were waiting for Suzannah at the same time.”
Jake shook his head. “I didn’t hate you. I’ve never disliked you a day in my life, Ella.”
“Then what?” you asked. “Why were you always so weird?”
Jake paused. You watched his jaw tense. He set his cup down on a coaster on the table and stood up abruptly. “We need more liquor.”
You frowned. “What? No, we still have vodka left.”
“Then we need gin.”
“I have gin.”
“OK, tequila.”
“Jake, what are you doing?” But he was already down the hall, pulling on his jacket, sliding into his boots. You scrambled off the couch. “Jake, wait!” But he was gone, the door slamming shut behind him.
You stood in shock. What had just happened? After a few minutes, you tugged on a coat and a pair of boots, slipping your keys into your pocket. The hallway was dark and empty, no sign of Jake.
Five floors later, you emerged in the lobby. “Ella!” Gerry the doorman looked up from behind the desk. “How are you sweetheart?”
“Hi Gerry,” you said. “Did, um, did a guy rush out of here a few minutes ago?”
He nodded. “Tall, blond, looks like a total player?”
“Yeah, that’s him.”
“He took a left, toward the park,” Gerry said. “Be safe, sweetheart. He looks like he’d break your heart.”
“He’s just a friend.”
Gerry nodded knowingly. “Friend. OK, doll. You be safe out there, it’s cold as all hell.”
You smiled, bursting through the double glass doors, getting smacked in the face by a gust of air. It burrowed into your skin, freezing you whole and despite the heavy coat your teeth chattered as you took a hard left down Fifth. Washington Square Park was five blocks away, but no way Jake had already made it that far, right?
No one else was out. Who would be so stupid as to go outside at nearly midnight in the middle of the worst blizzard in two decades?
Apparently you. And Jake Seresin.
You scampered across the intersection, crossing tenth street, hurrying as the wind gusted from one side, threatening to toss you into the nonexistent traffic on the avenue going downtown toward the park.
Up ahead, you spotted the familiar Washington Arch that stood at the northern part of the park. Snowflakes dotted your eyelashes and you blinked, pressing them away into liquid, before opening your eyes wide, spotting a familiar head bobbing down the sidewalk. “Jake!” you called out, your voice getting picked up and carried away in the wind. “Jake!”
Beneath your body, your feet scrambled along, pushing you closer.
“Jake!”
The man in the distance stopped and turned. The lights illuminating the arch highlighted him from behind. His jacket was too thin and as you approached you could see it was damp from snow, his hair sticking to his drawn face.
“Seresin,” you said, stepping closer until the two of you were only a few feet apart. “What the fuck? You’re like a shit baby daddy, going out for diapers and never coming back.”
“Get it all out,” he said. “Whatever you think of me, Ella. It’s time to air the dirty laundry.”
You frowned. “What are you talking about? I don’t understand what’s happening. One second we’re drunk and laughing and the next second you’re fucking running away and forcing me to chase you through a goddamn blizzard.”
“You didn’t have to chase me.”
“You left,” you said quietly. “What did you expect me to do?”
“Let me leave,” Jake said. “If you think I’m such a bad person, what do you care if I stay or not?”
“The real question is why did you hate me so much,” you whispered. “Back in the apartment. I asked why you hated me so much back then. And instead of answering, you made up some bullshit excuse about needing tequila. So answer, Jake. Or I’ll let you turn into an ice sculpture and I’ll sell you to 230 Fifth and their stupid fucking igloo bar as decoration.”
“I don’t hate you, Ella,” Jake said, stepping closer. Even drenched in snow he was warm. A furnace. “I never hated you.”
“So what was it then?” you demanded. “A Mr. Darcy thing? You ignored me and shut me out and gave me shit because you loved me?”
“Maybe.”
“What?” Stunned silence surrounded the two of you. If it was even possible, the snowflakes fell slower. As if they were suspended in the air. It was just you and Jake in the middle of Fifth Avenue in a snowglobe. You looked up at him, eyes wide.
“Did you ever think, Ella, that maybe I called you for a reason?” Jake asked quietly. “That maybe, just maybe, I spent eight years wondering about what had happened to the one girl who had seen me for who I really was and never let me get away with it? That maybe, just maybe, I took your feedback to heart and tried to change. And now I’m ready.”
“Ready for what?”
“For this,” Jake said, closing the distance between the two of you and sliding one hand around your neck, tipping your head back, bending down to press his lips to yours.
Tag list [using my list from The Off-Season since it's my most up-to-date Jake list but if you're not interested in these types of fics just let me know!):
@double-j @topguncultleader @momc95 @hangmandruigandmav
@teacupsandtopgun @xomrsalliej4787xo @xoxabs88xox @blue-aconite @seresinhangmanjake @eminyourjeans @shawnsblue @babyminghao @sadpetalsstuff @angelbabyange @taytaylala12 @wkndwlff @mygyn @oneelleandaneye @averyhotchner @rosiahills22 @djs8891 @rxmtoon @valkyrja-siren-blog @horseshoegirl @abaker74 @clancycucumber230 @theharddeck @redbarn1995 @shanimallina87
@memeorydotcom @joaquinwhorres @bobfloydsbabe @gretagerwigsmuse @djs8891
@blackcatdhisgf @buckysteveloki-me @eli2447 @bellaireland1981 @seresinslady @hookslove1592 @shotclock24seconds @fanficfandomlove @ryebecca @onceupona-happilyeverafter-love @t8r-tots
#jake hangman fic#top gun fanfiction#jake seresin#top gun imagine#jake hangman x you#jake seresin au#hangman fanfiction#jake seresin x reader#jake seresin fanfiction#jake seresin fic#jake seresin angst#hangman series#hangman imagine#hangman x you#hangman x reader#hangman#top gun fanfic#top gun maverick
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Clumsy Love
(Ominis Gaunt/F!Reader FLUFF)
Summary:
Ominis was supposed to be your best friend, so why did being close to him suddenly make your heart race?
***
A relaxing day in the Room of Requirement takes a turn that you never expected. Not that you were complaining, though. Who doesn't love a little bit of dancing?
Word count: 3k
AN: I thought this was a really cute idea, and I love the trope where a character is so emotionally constipated that they don't realize they're in love until a really inopportune moment.
If you wanna listen to something while you read, I have a jazz playlist here
BUT, if you want specifics, the two songs that I was thinking of for the swing dancing scene started with "Dream a Little Dream of Me" by Ella Fitzgerald, followed by "In the Mood" by Glenn Miller.
(if you want a song for the ending, I suggest "The Face I Love" by Stacy Kent)
You didn’t know what you were expecting to come from your day when you retreated to the Room of Requirement, but it certainly wasn’t what was in front of you at the current moment.
In all honesty, your day started fairly normal— double potions with the Gryffindors, followed by Charms. It wasn’t uncommon for one of your boys, sometimes even both, to follow you from Professor Ronen’s room to your little sanctuary in the Astronomy tower, and today it seemed that Ominis in particular wanted to bask in your company for a little bit longer. Just Ominis. He seemed to be doing that more often as of late. Be it little lingering touches on your arm when he goes to gather your potion ingredients for you, offering to carry your textbooks to a class that you shared, sitting slightly closer than what was normally deemed appropriate at your house table during supper, or going as far as to fall asleep curled against your arm in History of Magic, he was always around. Not that you minded, of course; he was your best friend, bar Sebastian.
What you did mind was how your body reacted to his closeness, something that happened completely outside of your control. Every time his skin brushed against yours it was like a swarm of lacewing flies hatched in your stomach, their tiny wings beating harshly against the lining of your gut and scratching all the way up to your brain, making it fuzzy and muddled. Your palms would sweat when he stood close to you, small tremors wracking through your form if his shoulder so much as bumped against yours as he shifted his weight from foot to foot. At one point, Sebastian, noticing the extreme shade of pink that overtook your face one evening in the common room when Ominis’ hand “accidentally” brushed against the bare skin above your knee when he reached for his Astronomy textbook on the table, made a big show of pressing his hand to your forehead and feeling for a temperature, asking if you were feeling alright.The most concerning part, though, was that you had become incredibly clumsy whenever he was around. He could just simply speak your name and you would nearly drop anything you were holding in your hands. Sometimes it was something small like your quill, or a hairbrush, but once, to your, and everyone else in your Herbology classes, displeasure, you had dropped the mandrake you were potting when he whispered in your ear asking for help locating his offending tuber. You were beginning to think that you should go pay nurse Blainey a visit— someone must have cursed you to act like this around the sweet blond boy. There was really no logical reason to be this worked up in his presence, and it drove you mad that not only had your peers begun to notice your little slip-ups, but Ominis had also begun to take note of your strange behavior.
The worst part of it all, though, was instead of asking if you were alright, or coming to the same conclusion as you about the possible curse, he seemed obnoxiously smug about your reactions to him once Sebastian had the gall to point them out.
What did he know that you didn’t?
Either way, you had developed a new symptom that day in your Come and Go room. An old gramophone had appeared in the corner of your little sitting area not long after you entered, playing some soft ragtime tune chalk full of brass and jaunty piano that created a lovely ambiance to your impromptu study session. Ominis had started humming along soon after it began, seemingly recognizing the melody. His voice had a lovely timbre to it— something deep and earthy that rumbled in your chest and made your heart race with every lift and fall of the notes. Eyes fluttering shut, the book in your lap quickly lost your interest much like most other things when you were in the Slyrherin’s presence. He had this gravitational pull to him that you couldn’t help but react to; everything in your body screamed that you needed to be in his orbit forever.
Normally, the smallest of movements from him captured your attention, but you were so enthralled by his angelic voice that you didn’t notice him standing before you, his hand outstretched in front of your face and his palm facing the sky, until that heavenly throat cleared itself. You shook yourself from your hypnotized state, fumbling with the book open in your lap and slamming it closed by accident from the shock before snapping your gaze to his. He was looking down at you with a gleam of mirth in his eyes, the mischievous glint making the oceanic blues glitter like the reflection of stars on the black lake. It was uncanny how well he could meet your gaze, no matter the struggles his disability would normally pose. Ominis chuckled lightly at your squeak of fright, flexing his fingers in your direction again as he spoke, his smile clear in his tone.
“Care to dance, dearest?”
Dearest. Your two boys called you little pet names before, nothing more significant than a “dear” or “love” here and there, but dearest? Merlin help you. You had felt your heart pick up its pace around the blond before, but the way his mouth moved around that sweet sounding word made your trusty organ completely stop.
That was definitely new.
He laughed again, a velvety sound that completely wiped your mind of whatever you were about to say. One of Ominis’ perfect eyebrows quirked up slightly, his teeth biting his lower lip in an attempt to hide his cheeky smirk.
Your jaw opened and closed like a fish gasping for air as you struggled to find your words again. Detangling one of your hands from the knot that your fingers made on your lap, you carefully placed it in his waiting palm; your heartbeat skipping again at the sight of his long, lithe fingers completely engulfing yours.
You stuttered around the sudden dryness in your mouth. “Y-Yes! I’d love to.”
The pretty blond’s smile only grew wider as he pulled you up to stand, his pearly white teeth catching the sun rays streaming through the large skylight above as he pressed his hand to the small of your back, drawing you closer until you were flushed with his chest. You prayed to the gods above that he couldn’t feel how harshly your heart was pounding in your chest.
Ominis carefully swayed the two of you to the beat of the music, his smooth voice humming softly in your ear again as he moved your bodies to and fro. Your shoulders slowly relaxed as the music picked up in volume, the warm-toned sound of the trumpets backing the warbly voice of the jazzy songstress flowing pleasantly through your ears and curling around the forefront of your mind. The boy started to move a bit more, taking your gentle breath against the junction of his neck as the go ahead to move the both of you in a more pronounced motion. As much as he loved messing with you, he still wanted you to feel comfortable around him. Ominis slowly spun you around, keeping small circles for now and letting himself truly relax into the music. His soft hums pittered off more and more with each passing moment, the sound soon being taken over by his singing voice melding with the lyrics of the song playing. Your heartbeat slowed as a contentedness filled your entire body. There was nothing in the world that you could compare the tonality of his voice to; it was truly divine— the lilt of his accent taking you like a breeze on a cooled, winter morning.
The music only got livelier the longer the two of you were tangled in the embrace. Saxophones sang alongside the standing bass with each swung note, trumpets called across the recording studio and were answered by the trombones on the other side, the piano plucked through a scattered melody that was finished by the vocalist. All the while, Ominis never faltered in his steps. You had never seen his smile so big before— so full of joy and life. Looking at him was like the sun had finally come out after a long, dreary blizzard. There was nowhere else you wanted to be in that very moment, everything was absolutely perfect.
As the ragtime piano sped up in tempo, so did your steps. The two of you spun around the large, expansive room, letting the music carry you away into its sweet oblivion. Your skirts gently brushed against Ominis’ calves as he swung your body where he wanted it to go, leading you to the best of his ability without his wand to guide him. You served as his eyes, gently pulling him away from things in your path like end tables or chairs as you climbed up and down the stairs, winding around your vivariums and through the grand, columned hallways connecting each section to the other. It wasn’t a good dance in the slightest, neither of you quite coordinated enough to warrant any applause or win any competitions. More often than not your feet ended up atop of his, but he never once flinched or grumbled at your lack of experience. The wiry boy was completely content in this little bit of chaos— he would happily let even the likes of a graphorn crush his toes if he could keep holding you in his arms like this. Your laughter mingled together, bouncing off the tall cathedral ceilings and ringing like the bells of Hogsmeade on a spring day, the smell of fizzing whizbees from Honeydukes and the tiny bangs of fireworks from Zonkos dancing together in the air.
All of it came crashing down, however, when you did not see the corner of your wizards chess table come into focus— much too distracted by the way the light of your gas lamps caught the white streaks in his pupil-less eyes just right. One wrong move of your ankle and down you both went, tumbling to the ground in a grand knot. Ominis quickly turned his body to shelter your fall, pulling you closer to his chest in a show of protection as he braced for impact against the cold stone floor. He landed first, a soft puff of air leaving his throat alongside a pained “ooph” as your dead weight pressed against his ribs. You clumsily gathered your bearings, scrambling up to your elbows and a rouged blush stretching from ear to ear as apologies fell frantically from your lips.
“Oh Merlin, I am so sorry, Ominis. How unbecoming of me, let me just—”
His arms tightened around your waist, his fingertips digging into your sides and keeping you steady and exactly where you were, giving you no room to move from his hold. The contact was near burning, like ten tiny hot coals against your skin. You didn’t think you could possibly blush anymore than you already were. Luckily, it seemed that Ominis was in a very similar state under you. His own cheeks were painted the color of roses, making his birthmarks stand out exponentially more against the normal paleness of his skin tone. You traced the tiny, homemade constellations, casting your eyes up more until they met his unseeing, wide-eyed stare. You had never been this close to the boy's face before— never noticed how deep his eyes were, like two endless whirlpools off the Clagmar coast. They drew you in, pulling you deeper and deeper into his frothing currents. You could see entire coastines in them, the seafoam tides that rolled through his turbulent irises smooth but strong like a riptide. There was no question in your mind that you would be completely content drowning in those waves.
Your thoughts came to a pause when the most adorable giggle you had ever heard came from the boy underneath you. His eyes began to crinkle at the corners as his smile grew wider, tiny little whimpers of a laugh escaping through his parted lips as the situation at hand began to take shape in his mind. Ominis’ entire face lit up like the sun as he laughed, the volume of his voice rising steadily until loud guffaws wracked through his entire body. The tremors vibrated where you were connected, sending a warming buzz through your system as you too were taken over by uncontrollable laughter. Your head fell to his chest, pressing your temple against his sternum as one of his hands reached upwards and thread its way into your hair. If anyone were to come into the room they would think you both had gone completely loony. Who knows, maybe you had. All you knew, though, was that this was the happiest you had felt in a very long time.
Your cackles soon slowly pittered down to soft giggles as you straightened your neck, opening your eyes again and gazing at the beautiful boy you were still on top of. You didn’t notice when he had stopped laughing with you, but the look on his face at that very second could have ceased time itself. Ominis’ lips were curled upwards in the softest smile you had ever seen, his eyes gentle and half lidded like a cat content in a sunbeam. You were sure he would be purring right now if he had the ability. He was somehow looking at you in a way that you could only describe as how the moon would look at the earth— like your laughter was the sole reason his world continued to spin on its axis.
Everything you had been feeling, every physical reaction that had confounded you as of late in regards to the blond suddenly made sense. You had not been cursed to act like a blithering idiot like you had originally thought, the answer was much more simple than that. It was truly idiotic how long it took you to realize the simple fact of the matter: you were in love with him. It wasn’t a shock when you finally pieced it together, if anything the revelation came to you as easy as breathing. You were in love with Ominis Gaunt, no if’s, and’s, or but’s.
One of your hands shifted slightly to the right, cradling the side of his face and soothing your thumb against his cheekbone as his reached to do the same, brushing the hair that fell from your bun behind your ear and gently holding the side of your jaw that he didn’t already have a hand on. A surge of bravery shocked through your veins like lightning as your eyes narrowed in on the soft curve of his cupid's bow, your face leaning minutely closer and your breath fanning against his lips as his eyes flitted closed.
Screw prosperity, and screw what was deemed “ladylike.” Right now, there was only one thing you wanted to do, and you didn’t think you would ever get another chance as perfect as this.
Your lips curled into a smile of your own as you whispered against his skin, mouth a hairs length away and gently brushing against his as you spoke. “I am going to kiss you now, Ominis, if that’s alright.”
All he could do was nod slightly, his own words nothing but a trick of the wind. As if he would ever deny you, and by extension himself, of that simple pleasure. “Okay…”
And then there was no more space between the two of you. Your lips fit together like two puzzle pieces, both torn, well loved, and worn but still able to fit together no matter how many times your edges are frayed. There were no grand fireworks, nor bursts of stars behind your eyes as your mouths moved in tandem, just the feeling that this was right. This was what was missing from your life all of these years. His hands pulled your face impossibly closer, one set of fingers working their way under your top knot and gripping at your roots as you both poured everything you had been feeling into the other. For once, everything was bliss.
The kiss ended much sooner than you would have liked it to, but unfortunately as humans you needed to breathe every so often. Ominis’ smile was contagious as he pulled away, his breath fanning heavily across your cheeks as he pressed gentle pecks into your skin. It was like a weight had been lifted off his chest. His subtle gestures of courting had finally worked.
“I have wanted to do that for so long.”
You snickered lightly, rubbing the tip of your nose against his. “Why didn’t you, then?”
It was his turn to laugh now, his breathy chuckle your new favorite sound. “It seems I’m just as clumsy with my emotions as you are, my dearest.”
You both dissolved into giggles again, letting your heartbeats slow back to a normal pace before continuing your activities from before. The gramophone continued to warble from the corner, beckoning you to dance once more with its saccharine song, and who were you to deny its call.
No, it may not have been a perfect dance, nor a perfect first kiss, but it was yours.
As you clamored off of the fallen blond, cradling his hand in yours as you helped him up from the floor and back into the dancing position you had found yourself in moments ago, you knew one thing for certain: there were definitely going to be more dances, and certainly more clumsiness, to come.
AN: I won't lie, I don't think this is my best. I still wanted to put it out there though.
It's my birthday, pls be nice to me.
***
like what you read? here's more!
#tina speaks#hogwarts legacy#hl#ominis gaunt x mc#ominis gaunt x reader#ao3#ao3 fic#ao3 writer#ominis gaunt x you#ominis gaunt#hogwarts legacy ominis#ominis#fluff#just pure fluff#masterlist
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In the mood for...
Jan 22nd
~*~
1. Hiiii!!!!!
This is for ITMF,
Like de aged tropes with little lan zhan or little Wei Ying being cuteeee with each other <3
Thanks a lot for all the hard work 💯
Hope you have a great new year ahead filled with love and happiness☺️☺️☺️ @ffaddictsrn
❤️ grow by cafecliche (T, 14k, WangXian, Age Regression/De-Aging, Character Study, Post-Canon)
no time for crying by Narci (T, 10k, WangXian, Wwx protection squad, Age Regression/De-Aging, Kid!WWX, kid!lsz, night hunt gone absolutely right, (lowkey golden core fix it), Fluff, Angst and Feels, Humor, Juniors)
i carry your heart with me by lulu_kitty (G, 12k, WangXian, Age Regression/De-Aging, Established Relationship, Post-Canon, Fluff and Angst, some knives but honestly this is mostly fluff, possessive littol a-zhan, wei ying may ONLY give attention to a-zhan, no one else it's the rule)
A Little Happiness by Suspicious_Popsicle (M, 20k, wangxian, Post-Canon, Age Regression/De-Aging, if you're looking at that last tag + the rating don't worry, the rating is only for the very end)
~*~
2. Hi, do you have any fics that include or are entirety lan zhan pov? @chellsky
wide enough and wild by impossibletruths (E, 64k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Getting Together, Canonical Accidental Baby Acquisition, Families of Choice, References to Depression, Happy Ending, I Swear To God I’m Giving Them A Happy Ending, Overzealous Use Of Imagery, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Well Except WN But He Was Already Dead So, Fix-It of Sorts)
Obedient and Bellicose by thunderwear (T, 20k, Wangxian, Ella Enchanted AU, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, cursed LWJ, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Good brother LXC, LQR loves his nephews you cant change my mind, LWJ crying, Protective LXC, Pining, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Brief Depictions of Violence, meaning at least one of the people you really want to get stabbed does in fact get stabbed)
A Matter of Time by mrcformoso (E, 41k, wangxian, Time Travel Fix-It, POV LWJ, POV JC, Dark LWJ, LWJ goes crazy, Manipulation, Grooming, Except LWJ & WWX are physically the same age, but LWJ kept his 30 year old mind, Wangxian Get a Happy Ending, Consensual Underage Sex, Except problematic please read warning in first chapter, Blood and Violence, Insane LWJ, Manic LWJ, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Conditioning, Come Eating, Come Swallowing, Anal Fingering, WWX is a Lán, Minor Character Death, Golden Core Reveal, Good Friend NHS, WWX Isn't Adopted by the Jiāngs, Abusive Jiang Family, Not Jiāng Family Friendly, POV NHS, Dark NHS, Anal Sex, Marathon Sex, Dual Cultivation, Horny Wangxian, QHJ Lives, LWJ Has a Big Dick, Self-Lubrication, WWX Self-Lubricates, Qíshān Wēn Indoctrination, Plot Twists, Porn With Plot, Sunshot Campaign, Not Lánlíng Jīn Sect Friendly, Scheming NHS, Manipulative NHS, BAMF LWJ, BAMF WWX, BAMF NHS, Burial Mounds Lore, Sentient Burial Mounds, Married Wangxian, Implied Mpreg, Adopted LSZ, Breathplay, Dark WWX, Yandere LWJ)
🔒 The Price of Old Wishes by SoManyJacks (E, 67k, WangXian, Minor canon divergence, Angst, POV LWJ, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, Slow Burn, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, semi-verbal!LWJ, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Suicide)
🔒 no new age by everythingispoetry (M, 146k, wangxian, LSZ & LWJ, LXC/JGY, LXC/NMJ, Canon Divergence, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Permanent Injury, Recovery, Disability, Parenthood, Character Study, Thirteen Years of WWX’s Death, Growing Up, Family Dynamics, Self-Discovery, Mental Health Issues, Grief/Mourning, Families of Choice, Developing Relationship)
the cycle of regret by KouriArashi (T, 14k, WangXian, Groundhog Day, Fix-It, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Alternate Canon)
A Narrow Bridge by FrameofMind, Jo Lasalle (Jo_Lasalle) (E, 700k, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, Canon Divergence, Slow Burn, Getting Together, First Time, Pining while fucking, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Angst with a Happy Ending, CQL Verse, almost everybody lives/almost nobody dies, epistolary-ish, canon-ish side pairings, radishes)
body and soul by TooSel (E, 41k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Marriage Proposal, Everyone Lives AU, Cultivation Sect Politics, Yílíng Wèi Sect AU, Adoption, Smut, Friends to Lovers, Angst with a Happy Ending)
🧡🔒Truth Will Out (when caught on video) - End_OTW_Racism! by KizuKatana (E, 151k, wangxian, WN & WWX & WQ, graphic depictions of violence, modern cultivation, canon divergence, YZY abuses WWX , caught on camera, partial core removal, WWX kicked out of Jiang sect, livestreamer WWX, meet ugly, dual cultivation, smut, no war, WIP) It includes large sections of Lan Wangji's perspective and POV. But the story is mostly from WWX's POV.
🧡🔒 rain falls and soaks into the earth series by RoseThorne (T, 53k, WangXian, WIP, Near Death Experience, Attempt Drowning, Madam Yu Bashing, Recovery, No war AU)
🔒 the thread may stretch or tangle but it will never break by RoseThorne (E, 91k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Soulmates, Self-Esteem Issues, Fix-It, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, PTSD, Handfasting, Panic Attacks, Getting Together, First Time, Aftercare, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Torture, Scars, Chronic Pain, Golden Core Reveal, First Time, Switching, sex-related injury, LWJ Stays at the Burial Mounds, LSZ is a Wèi, Good Sibling JC, Dissociation, Burial Mounds Settlement Days)
🔒 Under the Fireworks by handwritten (onefromanotherworld) (G, 1k, wangxian, Fluff, Supportive WWX, Near Future)
In Imitation of Life by travelingneuritis (E, 70k, wangxian, modern cultivation, scifi au, android WWX, tone: neon seedy, rich people are bored and terrible, post-apocalyptoc landscape, happy ending, smut, severe major characger injury, time loss)
~*~
3. i just saw a meme where it went;
MDZS: 📚
vs
MDZS if LWJ cried when WWX refused to come to Gusu with him: 📘
(if that makes sense)
sooo, is there any fics where LWJ starts crying and WWX just panics and yknow, canon divergence thing happens 🥺🫠
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4. IITMF some smut where the POV character tops. bonus points for bottomji and minimal kink, but I'm up for basically whatever.
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5. fics that highlight how everyone is enamoured by wwx's beauty/ yllz wwx's beauty+ wwx protection squad. @sonomaying
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6. Hello hello hello! In the mood for fics where Wei Ying or Lan Zhan have unusual professions? Or rather, professions which don’t commonly crop up in fic? Things like jewelers, mechanics, janitors, landscapers, authors, air host, etc. Avoiding more common fic jobs like police, coffee shop, florist, teacher, generic office worker, etc. Thanks!
Family Pictures (Or: “Mark Rothko is very, very dead, Wei Ying.”) by belleweather (M, 37k, wangxian, modern, Kid Fic, Post Mpreg, Cindarella Story, Mistaken Identity, Mistaken for Being in a Relationship, art conservator lwj, fake/mistaken cheating, no actual infidelity)
in the arms of the angel by ScarlettStorm (E, 37k, WangXian, Modern AU with Magic, Fox WWX, animal rescuer LWJ, Comedy, Smut, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Adhd WWX, the mortifying ordeal of getting your head stuck in a peanut butter jar)
🔒paired wings soaring by typefortydeductions (E, 33k, WangXian, Modern, slice of life, domestic bliss, angst, fluff, smut, hurt/Comfort, kissing, bdsm, artist WWX, poetry translator LWJ, slight somnophilia) artist wwx, poetry translator lwj
Themes and Variations in F# Major by defractum (nyargles) (E, 18k, WangXian, Modern AU, Classical Music, Getting Together, POV Alternating, Long-Distance Friendship) lwj and wwx are both professional musicians
Covered in Bees by ScarlettStorm (T, 8k, WangXian, Modern AU, Beekeeping AU, For reasons, Meet-Cute, Comedy, Fluff, Bees, come for the flirting, stay for the bee facts, and the bee puns, kinkmeme fill, no actual kink) featuring beekeeper LWJ!
he gets under your skin by Skadiseven (M, 87k, WangXian, Inspired By While You Were Sleeping (1995), Modern AU, Accidental Engagement, Chicago (City), wangxian's tendency to self-sacrifice, Christmas, Mutual Pining, There's A LOT of Musical References, Slow Burn, Angst with a Happy Ending) Wei Ying works in ticket booth for Chicago's L but is a former writer while Lan Zhan is a doctor.
hurry down my chimney tonight by gusuvibes (G, 20k, WangXian, Modern AU, dad!lwj, WWX and JC are Santa's Elves, Holiday Setting, A-Yuan is too smart for his own good, Fluff and Humor, NHS is a pimp, but not literally, Happy Ending, Surprise Santas, Christmas) features jeweller Lan Zhan while Wei Ying is a photographer working as an elf for the holidays.
Falling to the Rhythm by Selenay (E, 128k, WangXian, Modern: No Powers, Dance, Strictly Come Dancing Fusion, Ballroom Dancing, Dancer!WWX, Violinist LWJ, Pining While Dancing, Oblivious WWX, Gratuitous Costume Descriptions, Gratuitous dancing descriptions, Slow Burn, [Podfic] Falling to the Rhythm by semperfiona_podfic (semperfiona)) features Wei Ying as a professional dancer on the show Strictly Come Dancing while Lan Zhan is a professional violinist.
Waiting for Spring by thievinghippo (E, 130k, WangXian, Modern AU, MLB AU, Baseball AU, Mutual Pining, Pining while fucking, slight angst, Happy Ending) has both Wei Ying and Lan Zhan as professional baseball players (WY is pitcher while LZ is catcher)
The Quiet Room by trickybonmot (M, 39k, WangXian, Modern AU, 1990s, Goth LWJ, Cellist LWJ, College Student WWX, House Hunting, Dating, Clubbing, San Francisco, Implied/Referenced Past Child Abuse, Mental Health Issues, Academic Disaster Aftermath, Getting Together, Repressed Teen Crushes to Strangers to Lovers, Homelessness, in the form of couch surfing, background NieLan) features DJ Lan Zhan!
Heat It Up! with Wei Ying by justpeace (T, 10k, WangXian, Modern AU, coworkers to dating, Getting Together, Chinese Food, racism that largely happens offscreen, workplace racism, toxic workplace environment, Workplace Relationship, food as a metaphor for racism, Humor, Happy Ending, Angst and Humor, food as a metaphor for flirting, References to Drugs, Alcohol, Asian-American Character) chef wei ying / has Wangxian as test kitchen chefs (cooks?)
grave goods by luckymarrow (E, 28k, wangxian, Grief/Mourning, Minor Character Death, Modern AU, mortician!wwx, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Marriage Proposal, abrupt tonal shifts, Tragicomedy, Comedy, Romance, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Adoption, Implied/Referenced Abuse, for lan parents, it's not described and is all backstory, Family Bonding, Family Dynamics, Married WangXian, brief daddy kink, the barest hint of consensual non-consent, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, BDSM) has WWX as a mortician, LWJ as an attorney (mind the tags)
🧡 Night of the Living History (an edutainment special!) by Aerlalaith (T, 51k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Workplace Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Museums, living history, Some Plot, Slice of Life, Injury, a minor haunting) has them as employees at a living history cultivation museum
live from new york by varnes (E, 87k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, This is a SNL AU, however the juniors are featured and there are lots of shenanigans!, slow burn, friends to lovers, pining, getting together, happy ending)
💖 Pentimento. by orange_crushed (E, 73k, wangxian, modern, college/university au, art conservation, museums, pining, not actually unrequited love, angst w/ happy ending, misunderstandings, smut, major character injury, hospitalization, hurt/comfort, past incarceration, forgery)
Somewhere I Belong by athena_crikey (E, 20k, WangXian, Modern AU, Getting Together, First Time, Environmentalism, Nature, pilot WWX, scientist LWJ, ode to canadian north) Wei ying is a bush pilot and lan zhan is a chemical tester
Let the streetlights guide you homeby tellthemstories (M, 37k, wangxian, modern, UST, car racing, Mojo’s bookmark) and associated podfic. The boys are illegal street racers
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7. Itmf: Hello all! Does anyone know of any fics where Sizhui is angry with the cultivation world for killing his birth family? Especially if he points out to the Lans, his adopted family, how they took part in the siege that killed his birth family.
Symmetry by Vir_Abelasan (M, 13k, WangXian, LSZ & WWX, One-Sided ChengXian, One-Sided ChengZhui, Canon Divergence, LSZ is raised by wwx, Wwx still dies sorry, Revenge, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Dark LSZ, Manipulation, Power Imbalance, Torture, Not JC Friendly, JC’s Canonical 13 Years Murder Spree, BAMF LSZ, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, LSZ Gets to Go Apeshit)
Finding Balance series by Zombubble (T, 117k, JL & LSZ, LSZ & LWJ, LSZ & WWX, JL & LSZ & LJY, LXC & LSZ, LSZ & LJY, wangxian, Character Study, Canon Compliant, Mentions of Blood, Mentions of Violence, Mentions of Death, Grief, LSZ goes home to yiling and has emotions about it, Nightmares, angst with a hopeful but still kind of painful ending, Canon-Typical Violence, within a nightmare, injuries, Blood, LSZ has so much shit to work through, he'll be okay he's just riding the struggle bus, Yelling, argument, Conflict, Underage Drinking, slightly uncomfortable dinners, lets be real, they're in yunmeng, JC is there, LSZ is very aware of who he is, WWX is also there, this is not a formula for fluff, Light Angst, Happy Ending, JJC Being an Asshole, but not too bad, Anxiety, Grief/Mourning, Self-Reflection, Conflict Resolution, Internal Conflict, lots of talking, Lots of Thinking, LSZ-centric, Soft LQR, Collective Bargaining, LSZ accidentally incites a mini off-screen rebellion, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Angst with a Happy Ending, Post-Canon, mild panic attack)
💖 When has silence saved anyone? by Vrishchika (T, 6k, wangxian, LSZ & WWX & LWJ, post-canon, LXC critical, family feels, angry LWJ & LSZ, LXC gets scolded)
history by tongzhi (T, 15k, Background WangXian, LSZ-Centric, Post-Canon, Angst, Grief/Mourning, Hopeful Ending, Character Study)
this blood in my mouth by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 3k, WangXian, LSZ & WWX & LWJ, Post-Canon, POV LXC)
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8. Hello! I was scrolling on ur page and saw the latest fic finder 7. its sounds interesting, it already has 2 fics under that ask so i came here for the next ITMF, is there any fic similar to that? wwx or lwj being teacher and married to eo, juniors being their students. Thank you in advance!
Due Process by Kytrin, Mslead (E, 279k, WangXian, XiChengSang, Poly Junior Quartet, Modern AU, Foxxian, dragonji, Genderfluid WWX, WWX identifies as male, Organized Crime, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, mentions of child abuse, Angst with a Happy Ending, Found Family, Reincarnation) kinda? WX get together pretty quickly in the fic, and the Juniors are WWX's students
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9. Hello! For the next ITMF i was wondering if there’s any wlw wangxian where LWJ is characterized as a butch lesbian, thank you!!
an inch away from more (than just friends) by occultings (microcomets) (E, 15k, Female WangXian, Modern AU, Rule 63, Femslash, Lesbian Sex, Genderbending, Pining while fucking, sexuality exploration, Compulsory Heterosexuality, Friends to Lovers, Masturbation, Kissing, Cunnilingus, Vaginal Fingering, Getting Together, Swim Team, Diving, Pool Sex, Outdoor Sex, Jealousy)
Are you gonna be my girl by 74243 (E, 14k, Female WangXian, Modern AU, Established Relationship, Forced Feminization, Sadism, Dom/sub, Slut Shaming, Internalized Misogyny.... but like.... Make It Sexy, Humiliation, Semi-Public Sex, Exhibitionism, Painplay, Cock Warming, Genderplay, Vague sugardaddy LWJ vibes) this author actually writes a lot of butch lab zhan actually
sideways by vesna (mrsronweasley) (E, 20k, wangxian, F/F, Modern, Cisswap, butch dyke LWJ, Casual Sex, not so casual sex, many many orgasms, Fingerfucking, Cunnilingus, strap-on sex, So much kissing, WWX gets rekt, straight girl WWX, except for how she isn't)
here is the tag for butch lan zhan
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10. For the next itmf I’m looking for wangxian centric heavy angst preferably with happy ending but it’s not a requirement. I will take canon, au, arranged marriages, anything that brings sweet suffering @kanrax-blog
Common love isn't for us by feyburner (M, 7k, WangXian, Modern AU, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss, Making Out, Misunderstandings, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending) this is a short modern AU but it almost always makes me tear up
🔒Salt to the Sea by Starmins (M, 31k, wangxian, JYL & WWX, modern, grief/mourning, roadtrips, canonical character death, love & loss)
134340 by silverclaw (M, 18k, WangXian, Space, Space Opera, Heavy Angst, Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Closure, Parallel Universes, Coco the robot, LWJ accidentally adopting creatures as he goes, LWJ also has a nose ring, The following are SPOILER tags, there are two lwjs and one of them dies, wwx mourning lwj, Hopeful Ending, in terms of closure and healing, parallel!lwj and wwx form a bond, mentions of captivity, dystopian themes)
Orchid Teeth by FairyGardenCorgis (E, 97k, WangXian, Fluff and Angst, Romance, dragon lwj, fox wwx, Chinese lore, Hurt/Comfort, Dark elements, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Explicit Sexual Content, Angst with a Happy Ending, Sexual Abuse, Starvation, Torture, Sexual Humiliation, Lesbian Sex, Sounding, kinda omorashi in chapter 16, proceed with caution guys, Gang Rape)
here comes your ghost again by yuer (vintageblueskies) (T, 4k, wangxian, WQ & WWX, post-canon, nightmares, embroidery, angst)
to remember names of plants series by detention_notes (T, 8k, wangxian, diary/journal, character study, angst, parenthood, pining, anger & fear, found family, grief/mourning, reminiscing, yearning, canonical character death)
Holding onto what remains of my life (it's slipping through my fingers) by Indrel (M, 3k, WangXian, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Child Death, Miscarriage, Mpreg, A/B/O Dynamics, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Hurt WWX, POV LWJ, Protective LWJ, First Siege of the Burial Mounds, Blood) very heavy angst with an open ending, mind the tags
Concord by Deastar (T, 41k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Gūsū Lán Sect Rules, Depression, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending)
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11. Ok folks! I'm in the mood for: your favorite NEWER (as is posted within the last year or so) fics where one or both of Wangxian say fuck gender. Any other details don't particularly matter, I just want some good ol' gender shenanigans
Keeping secrets by Winxhelina (T, 8k, wangxian, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Curses, Angst and Humor, CrossdressingLove Confessions, Kissing)
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12. Hi! For ITMF, is there a time travel fic where WWX raised young him or become young WWX's brother? Or WWX become Wei Cangze's brother/cousin/parent? Thank you! @idontknowwhattowriteforusername
In Another Life by SingingInTheRaiin (M, 21k, wangxian, time travel)
so when you go wherever it is you will go, take the moon with you by comforting_monachopsis (T, 121k, WWX & WWX, WWX & WQ, WWX & WN, wangxian, JC & WWX & JYL, past WWX/SS, past WWX/XY, canon divergence, time travel, dimension travel, modern, private investigator WWX, professor LWJ, trauma, serial killers, strangers to lovers, BAMF WWX, hurt WWX, WIP) this is a very liberal interpretation of what you asked for
MingYu by Fino_Al_Cielo (T, 89k, WWX & LWJ, YL WWX, yunmeng siblings, Fix-It of Sorts, Time Travel, Canon Divergence, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, PTSD, References to Depression, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Suicidal Thoughts, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Trauma)
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13. Hello! I am here with another ask.
I would like to read fics in which Lan Wangji straight up takes wwx to Gusu after his denial.
The scene goes like " Come back to Gusu with me"
" I refuse"
*straight up carries and takes back to Gusu*
Thank you @lostsoul234
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14. hello long time no request! im itmf a-yuan inheriting suibian. thank you for your hard work always ♥️
it's a long road but we're not alone by Stratisphyre (M, 61k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Canon-Typical Violence, Parenthood, Grief/Mourning, Family Feels, Reunions, Golden Core Reveal, Background SL/XXC, Getting Together)
❤️ kick at the darkness ‘til it bleeds daylight by AlfAlfAlfAlfAlf, tardigradeschool (T, 75k, WangXian, Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Eventual Happy Ending, Getting Together, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Inspired by The Parent Trap (1998), Kid Fic, teen shenanigans, two a-yuans, Fluff and Angst, [Podfic] kick at the darkness 'til it bleeds daylight by contributor-sky (deepestbluesky), esbielle was also here (esbielle), glittercracker, GodOfLaundryBaskets, jellyfishfire, kisahawklin, Koontyme, Rionaa, semperfiona))
Just as the Snow Melts by draechaeli (T, 66k, WangXian, XuanLi, SongXiao, Everybody Lives, Canon Divergence) Its only mentioned not the focus of the story
hereditary series by yutro (G, 1k, LSZ & WWX, JC & WWX, JC & LSZ, wangxian, Found Family, WWX adopting LSZ, Or the other way around, childproofing a sword, JL is there but it's not about him, WWX is still dead, LWJ is not here but his presence is felt, no i don't know why suibian has not sealed itself don't ask me)
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15. ITMF WangXian fuck or die and/or sex pollen fics? Particularly ones where they are in a tense situation, like on a night hunt or maybe during the SSC. Oh! And prior to them confessing. So like, they are forced to woohoo before they know the other likes them too. Thank you!
Give You What You Like by Jo Lasalle (Jo_Lasalle)(E, 11k, WangXian, Fuck Or Die, Bad Guys Made Them Do It, Canon Divergence, angst with an eventual happy ending, First Time, Episode Related)
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16. Hi!! This is my first time sending a ITMF...Sorry if I do it wrong...
I just read fic 'All was well when you were still with me' by KoHITTSujiChan and the situation where Wangji was the one who punch Zixuan at CR is so hot..
Are they any fic where Wangji punch Zixuan because a)he want to protect Yanli or b)the idea of Wei Ying married anyone else make him angry
Thank you in advance... @chibiizzy
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17. ITMF a fic where the swords turn into Humans for some reason or maybe they just have a human form? Maybe some musing on wwx and the golden core but it’s not a must @zerokogane
🔒We’ll Build This House on Stone (Altars) by FluffyHippogriff (E, 264k, wangxian, angst w happy ending, romance, supernatural elements, friendship, old god LWJ, YLLZ WWX, hijinks & shenanigans, canonical character death, nonbinary character, nonbinary bichen, WIP) contains Bichen who can take human form.
🔒Intervention of Spirits by Vrishchika (T, 4k, WangXian, Pre-Relationship, Canon Divergence, Golden Core Reveal, WWX Has a New Golden Core) several of the swords have human(like) forms
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If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***
#wangxian#mdzs#wangxian fic recs#i'm in the mood for a fic#the untamed#wangxian fic search#wangxianficfinder#long post
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Home for Christmas
Hi everyone! Here is a cute fic for Christmas! I hope all of you who celebrate have a great time <3
Hope you like this silly little fic! Tell me what you think of it!
****
Pairing: Hozier x reader
Warnings: none! It’s just cute fluff!!
Summary: Andrew is touring at the moment, and his busy schedule will keep him away for the Christmas season. Or at least, that’s what you thought would happen. That was without counting on how much he missed you.
Word Count: 2390
Hozier's Masterlist - Main Masterlist
24 December.
It’s midday and it’s raining. Against the window panes, the rain falls in a patted rhythm, adding to the soft voice of Ella Fitzgerald, a warmth that lulls you into a gentle sway. Around you, dispersed across the carpet, are a set of gifts, wrapping paper, some tape and glitter. You’re wrapping up presents for Christmas, ready to be delivered on Christmas morning throughout your relatives and friends. It makes for a rather tall pile, as you look at all the work you have left. You’re about half-way through, so you gather your courage in a sigh and get back to work, grabbing a box and some paper and trying your best at turning the whole thing into what vaguely resembles a gift.
On your left, you have set the presents that are already wrapped in red and golden paper. Three of these are for Andrew, and you’re quite proud of what you’ve found for him this year. Your gaze lingers on the items, the ghost of a smile lingering on your lips as you think of him… but you end up looking away in a hurry.
He won’t be home for Christmas this year. His touring schedule won’t allow it. If he’s in Europe, he’s currently trying to catch a few hours of sleep in a hotel room in Vienna.
You’ve thought about joining him on tour for a few days, but you wanted to see your family at Christmas. Besides, the look your mother gave you when you mentioned the idea was enough to make you abandon the thought altogether. She looked too sad for you to go ahead with it. You guessed you would simply have to miss your boyfriend this year.
You aren’t angry or bitter about it, though. It comes with dating a musician. There are moments when he isn’t around, and that’s alright. He makes up for it when he comes home, or when you can join him for a few days. Still, as you glance over at his gifts, knowing that they will remain unopened until mid-January, you can’t help the tug at your heart that thought brings.
You grab your phone as an act of revenge, snapping a pic of the three gifts, and sending them to Andrew.
Your gifts are ready! And as I’m an awful girlfriend, you won’t get any clue to guess what they are until you open them in a month!
You add a few emojis to tease him some more, and wait for the phone to buzz while you go back to work. You’ve got glitter on your fingers, it’s all over the beige carpet too. You don’t mind so much, though.
Your Christmas tree is glimmering on the right side of the room, you’ve turned its lights on to get into a festive mood. You have a cocoa on the coffee table, and a bag of marshmallows as a snack. But despite the music, you can’t help but notice how silent the house is.
No humming, no guitar, no voice lost in conversation with you about the most random topic. No padding steps going back and forth across the living room, no curses after hitting the angle of a table, no clutter made in the kitchen to make something as simple as tea. There’s nothing but Ella’s singing, the rain, and the sharp sound of your scissors cutting the wrapping paper, the quick tug at tapes…
Your phone buzzes, and you drop everything to reach for it. A laughing emoji appears under the name Andy, followed by a short text.
How mean! An awful girlfriend indeed.
A pause, some little dots appearing as he writes another message.
I’m worse though.
You shake your head as you type.
Nah! You’re all good. It will only take some extra chocolate to make me forgive you, that’s all. The worst is being abandoned for gift-wrapping. I’m terrible at it.
You’re too focused on the screen to notice any sound coming from outside, like a car-door closing.
I don’t have chocolate. Opted for flowers instead. Hope that works too.
You giggle at that, failing to hear footsteps before your door.
You still have a month to get the right thing.
You jump as you hear keys unlocking the front door. Frowning, you finally stand. Andrew’s parents have a set of keys, just in case, but they’ve never used them. And why would they when you’re here?
You’ve barely reached the hallway that the door opens… on a very tall figure you recognise in an instant. You gasp at the sight, hands flying up to your mouth.
Andrew, on his part, is grinning like an idiot, soaked despite the small distance he had to cross from the cab to the front door. The rain is still heavy, falling on the bouquet of flowers he’s carrying.
He barely has time to step in, throw a travel bag across the hall, and find shelter in your home that you’re jumping into his arms, and he laughs as he catches you with ease. He hasn’t closed the door yet, the air is cold as it sips into the hallway, but you pay no attention to it. You don’t care either about the fact that your clothes are getting wet against his drenched coat, that your fingers run through wet locks as you pull him closer, that his face is cold as you kiss, at long last, for what seems like forever. But then again, you’ve been waiting to see him for weeks, months even… you can’t be blamed for being eager to catch up on lost time.
“Hey,” he breathes as you finally pull away, although he keeps you in his arms.
Rubbing his nose against yours, your eyes are still closed. His voice is a bit deeper than usual in this whispered tone, and it makes shivers travel up your spine, makes your heart melt in a puddle.
“Hi,” you grin against his lips, stealing pecks there. “What are you doing here?!”
“You didn’t think I would really miss Christmas, did you?”
“But your shows…”
“I have nothing until the 26th. I’m not staying here long, just a couple of days. But I’m home for Christmas, at least.”
You hug him as close as you can, still too much in shock to truly believe that he is here, that this is happening, that he truly is home…
“I thought you couldn’t travel back here, that the flights didn’t fit the schedule.”
“I haven’t slept in 27 hours, but aside from that, it all went well,” he laughed, but you frowned at his statement.
“You couldn’t sleep on the plane?”
He blushes a little, averts his eyes for a second, before looking at you again.
“No, no…” he shakes his head, sounding a little embarrassed but smiling all the same. “I just… I was too excited to see you. Couldn’t fall asleep.”
You coo at him, making him wince as he finally puts you down.
“Oh, don’t start…” he warns you, but you love teasing him too much for that.
“You wanted to see me too much! You’re so cute!”
“I did fly all the way across Europe to see you, remember?”
“That’s what I’m saying. You’re hooked, buddy!”
You both laugh at that, but his smile grows tender as he reaches to brush his thumb across your cheek.
“Don’t I know that already…” he states, and again, the warm feeling spreads across your entire form, a perfect balance of happiness, fondness, and love.
He finally hands you the bouquet, and you breathe in the perfect scent: sweet and addictive, making you dizzy for a moment.
“So… no chocolate,” you tease, and Andrew struggles not to laugh, his smile tugging at his lips.
“No, I’m afraid not. The flowers will have to do.”
You hum, as if pondering.
“You’re lucky they’re so pretty,” you add, and he breaks into a cheeky grin.
“Not as pretty as you, though.”
You laugh, walking to the kitchen to give your flowers a vase and some water.
“Lousy line!”
“It was a masterpiece, are you kidding? That timing! Delivery!”
“And he pretends he’s a poet…”
You both laugh, Andrew has followed you after leaving his coat, scarf and shoes by the door. He wraps his arms around your waist, unwilling to be parted from you even for a minute, chasing after your warmth like a moth to a flame.
He drops a kiss to the top of your head.
“I pretend to be a musician, not a poet.”
“Considering your lyrics, you are a poet.”
You feel him grinning into your hair.
“Thanks,” he mumbles, and you know he’s blushing without seeing his coloured cheeks.
“Thank you for the flowers, I love them.”
“Next time, I’ll get you chocolate. I promise.”
“I was just joking. You didn’t have to get me anything. I was happy enough to simply have you here.”
You turn in his arms to face him, gently pull on the collar of his green cardigan until his lips meet yours, and that’s the best feeling in the world, really, to be there in his arms, to feel his heart against your palm…
But as you look up at him again, you notice the dark traces under his eyes, the heaviness in his eyelids. He looks exhausted, and if he always does when he’s touring, he seems to be barely being able to stand. For proof, he’s leaning more and more against you as he hugs you tight.
Gently, soothingly, you rub his back, and you don’t fail to notice the sigh he lets out, his body relaxing under your hands.
“We still have a few hours before heading to your parents’ house for the evening. Want to take a nap?”
“Only if you come with me.”
“I have to finish preparing all the gifts…”
“We can do that in the morning. We can even just hand them without any wrapping…”
“No! We’re doing this properly!”
“Tomorrow then.”
You yield easily, nodding.
“Alright. You go and dry your hair while I prepare some hot chocolate, and then we cuddle and take a nap. Deal?”
He grins.
“Deal!”
He kisses you again, passionate and overwhelming and leaving you dizzily blinking; before he disappears upstairs to change out of his wet clothes and get dry.
Meanwhile, you’ve prepared some warm beverage for him and go grab your own mug in the living room. You abandon the gifts for now, climb upstairs and under the covers to wait for Andrew.
You’re grinning at the thought of him joining you, and your smile only brightens when he actually does, clumsily hurrying to the bed.
He slips under the covers, on his side of the bed, the one you’ve been staring at for entire nights, feeling the empty space of his absence. He’s barely settled in that you’re already reaching for him. He takes the hand you’re holding out, kissing your knuckles before placing it against his heart.
He takes a few sips of his warm beverage, complimenting your creation before lying down fully with you, tucking you both in, making sure you’re both fully covered by the heavy blankets. You lie there together for a long time, legs tangled to the point that borders between his body and yours disappear, on your sides so you can stare at each other, bathe in the presence of the person you love most in the world, in the warmth of this home you share, this bed that feels empty when you’re not both here.
A few minutes are all that’s needed for the bed to be filled with the warmth of your entwined bodies, and you relax as you shuffle even closer, arms wrapped around his torso. He holds you close, his large palm rubbing circles into your back that make you close your eyes. He rests his forehead against yours, closes his eyes as well.
“God, I’ve missed you so fucking much,” he whispers, his voice quiet and soft in the gentle air of the room, the one disturbed only by your shared breaths, the tapping of the rain, and the occasional movements of your limbs under the covers. “I needed this. Needed to hold you close… you can’t imagine how much I needed this.”
You tighten your hold on him, an attempt to silently tell him that you understand, that you need him too, just as much.
“I’ve missed you too, honey,” you breath, your tone matching his. “So much. I’m so happy you’re home.”
“Only for a couple of days…”
“I don’t care. You’re here, now. That’s all I care about. I might not think the same in a couple of days when I cry my eyes out at the airport but…”
You chuckle together, and he kisses the tip of your nose as a reward.
“Same here,” he mumbles as he buries his head into the crook of your neck, breathing in deeply your scent, the one he tries to get drunk on, to commit to memory so he can reminisce later, once he’s alone again at night in some hotel room.
“Thank you. For coming home to me. Thank you, Andy.”
But he chuckles, shaking his head ever so slightly.
“I did it for myself as much a I’ve done this for you, you know.”
“I bet everyone in the band was tired of you complaining all the time,” you laugh, and he does the same.
“Alex was this close from kicking me out of the bus.”
You double with laughter, and yet keep on holding onto each other just as tightly, unwilling to ever let go again.
“I bet he was!”
He nuzzles into your neck, kisses the skin at the base of your shoulder, making your heart skip beats and your breathing stutter. His beard tickles your skin, and you’re certain you’ve been transported to heaven.
“I love you,” you whisper into his hair, kissing every inch you can reach. You feel his grin against your neck.
“I love you, too. So much, darling.”
You forget to set up an alarm, and when you both fall asleep a few minutes later, you’re too comfortable to wake up. You arrive late at Andrew’s parents’, but they can’t pretend to be mad. They’re too happy to have their son for Christmas, and you feel the same.
#hozier#andrew hozier byrne#hozier x reader#hozier x y/n#hozier x you#hozier fanfiction#hozier fanfic#hozier oneshot#the hoziest#fanfiction#fanfic#writing
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Are You With Me? | Chapter 4
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synopsis: Y/N wakes up from the same reoccurring nightmare since Ella had been diagnosed. Some parts of what Jake did during the divorce come to light. Jake and Y/N cross a line.
word count: 4.3k
warnings: medical inaccuracies, nightmares, traumatic events, vomiting, divorce, fighting, cursing, childhood cancer, child character death (not graphic), smut, unprotected sex, mentions of cheating
“She’s not breathing,” A constant beeping sound filled the air as doctors and nurses came running into the small hospital room. Y/N was pushed out of the room, left to look at the action from behind a plate glass window. However, the doctors and nurses didn’t spring into action like she had seen them do when rushing into other childrens’ rooms. They stood there, watching as the child struggled to breath.
“Do something to help her!” Y/N yelled, pounding her fists against the glass, but it was as if it fell on deaf ears. Doctors and nurses crowded the hospital bed as the small girl lay there unmoving. Tubes and wires covered her body as the obnoxious long tone filled the air.
“Do something! She’s dying!” Y/N yelled again trying to move her spot to get to the little girl, her feet were stuck where they were, “Help her!”
“Time of death,”
“No! My baby! No!”
“Nine thirty six.”
“No! Ella!”
Her body nearly collapsed to the floor, but strong arms wrapped around her, holding her up. She fought against the hard body, wanting to get to her daughter and hold her. The doctor pulled the white sheet over Ella’s head as Y/N continued to thrash in the strangers arms.
“Let me go! Let me go!”
“Y/N, you’re alright.”
“No! Let. Me. Go.”
“Y/N! Wake up!”
With a jolt, she sat up in bed. The cold grip of fear still around her heart, making it beat erratically. A thin layer of sweat covered her body, as her hair stuck to the back of her neck. It took a moment for her to get her bearings, finding herself in the same room she had laid down in, and her ex-husband sitting next to her on the bed. Jake had turned the lamp on, coating them in a warm orange glow.
“Are you alright?” Jake asked, taking in the sight of his bewildered wife. He wanted to reach out and pull her into his chest, but he had earned an elbow to the face trying to attempt it earlier.
Y/N nodded her head, not trusting her voice at the moment. Her throat felt dry, presumably from screaming in her sleep. She sucked in a couple of breaths, feeling her heart beat slow to a steady rhythm. She was no stranger to nightmares, especially after Ella got sick. The haunting sound of asystole alarms and the cries of grief stricken parents kept her awake at night.
“What time is it?” She asked, her voice hoarse.
“Two twenty.”
“And the kids?”
“Still asleep, but, Y/N…” Jake swallowed, “Have you thought about going to that support group Doctor Thomas suggested?”
Y/N scoffed, flinging back the covers and swinging her legs over the side of the bed, “No,” She stood up, walking towards the bathroom to get a drink of water, “Don’t need it.”
Jake stood up from the bed, walking over to the bathroom door, leaning against it. Y/N splashed some cool water on her face, before filling up the cup she kept by the sink. Jake couldn’t help but take in the sight of her pajamas; a white tank top and a pair of his old plaid boxer shorts. He could remember when she stole them from him when she was about seven months pregnant with Alex, “It might help you sleep better if you talk to someone.”
“Oh, like you did?” Y/N knew it was a low blow the moment the words left her mouth.
The divorce had been finalized for two years and Y/N always used Jake’s affair as a deflection tactic. When she didn’t want to talk about herself or anything that was bothering her, she always brought up the affair. Jake had learned to ignore it over the past couple of years.
“Look,” Jake ran a hand through his sleep tousled hair, “I know I messed up and didn’t do things right in the past, but I am now. The group is really helping me get through this.”
Y/N looked up at Jake in the bathroom mirror. It wasn’t the first time he has brought up therapy. Hell, even Miles had suggested it once before but it was quickly brought down. Y/N didn’t want to sit in a circle with other parents of sick kids and listen as they tried to one up each other with who’s kid is the sickest.
Y/N grabbed a quick drink of water, before turning to face Jake, “Thanks for the suggestion, but I got this.” She patted his chest before walking back into the bedroom.
Jake shook his head as she climbed back in, pulling the blankets up to her chin and turning the light off, engulfing him in darkness.
“Whatever, Y/N,” Jake pushed off of the door jam, leaving the room without another word and going back to the guest room he had been inhabiting.
— — —
Sleep did not come easy to Y/N after the nightmare. Hell, sleep hadn’t been coming easy to her for about six weeks since Ella got sick. She had created a strict schedule of being at the hospital when first rounds started at six am. But between the early wake-ups, the late nights making dinner and getting the kids to bed, nightmares waking her up, and now Eli’s newly developed sleep regression, Y/N was a walking zombie.
“I don’t wanna be sick,” Ella cried as Y/N held the pink basin in front of her.
“I know, baby,” Y/N cooed, as tears ran down Ella’s cheeks. It was the same battle every day about an hour after Ella left the chemo room. The nausea slowly creeped up in her little body until she threw up. Y/N hated when Alex would have the occasional sick day, and it was killing her seeing Ella getting sick every day like clockwork.
“Mommy,” Ella whined as she dry heaved over the basin.
“Just let it out,” Y/N rubbed her back, “Let it out, baby. You’ll feel better.” She grimaced as the scent of vomit filled the air, Ella’s small body nearly convulsing as she puked, “It’ll be okay. It’ll be okay, baby.” Y/N kept repeating sweet nothings to Ella as she emptied the very limited things in her small stomach. Her weight loss has become more evident by her protruding collarbones and ribs. Jake was almost scared to pick her up these days, worried that he’d break her.
A knock sounded at the door, “Knock, knock,” The person said, “Is now a good time?”
Y/N rolled her eyes as she sat the basin down in between Ella’s legs. It was never a good time for Doctor Thomas to barge into the room, but it wasn’t like she cared. What do you even say to a doctor when they ask ‘is now a good time?’ “No, come back later when I’m dying”?
“Yes,” Y/N answered, but Doctor Thomas was already halfway into the room. Y/N grabbed a cool rag, putting it on Ella’s forehead and removing the emesis bucket, “How can we help you, Doctor Thomas?”
“Just checking in,” She smiled that perfect smile that all doctors seemed to have. Pearly white, perfectly straight teeth. Doctor Thomas pulled up a chair, sitting at Ella’s bedside, “How are you, Ella?”
The little girl pouted, “I threw up.”
“Aw, I’m sorry,” She rubbed the back of Ella’s hand, “Today wasn’t a good treatment day?”
“They didn’t even have sugar cookies,” Ella muttered. Y/N shook her head with a light laugh. Of course Ella was upset about the cookies.
“You’re letting her have sweets?” Doctor Thomas asked, looking up at Y/N.
“We’re monitoring her diet, but yes, we allow her to have something sweet to eat every once in a while. Miles said-”
“Miles isn’t an oncologist,” Doctor Thomas said, tilting her head slightly and plastering that smile on her face.
Doctor Nicole Thomas, oncologist, top of her class at Northwestern, top resident at the Mayo Clinic, one of the best oncologists on this side of the Missouri river, and total bitch to parents. April, the mother of Sammy, the little boy next door to Ella, shared her dislike for Doctor Thomas. She was blonde, had legs for days and breasts that seemed to be the perfect size and perky. The wives had all noticed their husbands wandering eyes when Doctor Thomas walked by. And to make matters even worse, Doctor Thomas knew Jake. . . personally.
“If you have an issue with my daughter’s diet, please, Doctor Thomas, enlighten me,” Y/N crossed her arms over her chest.
Doctor Thomas’s smile didn’t falter, “Things like cookies and sugary treats aren’t good for children with compromised immune systems. Over processed pre-packaged snacks or snacks full of butter and frosting. . . you want your child eating heart healthy snacks. I think Jake would agree.”
The slip of her husband’s name from Doctor Thomas’s lips had Y/N seeing red, her arms falling down to her sides, “I know what is best for my child. You are pumping her full of toxins that are making her throw up and lose weight. If she wants a sugar cookie, I’m going to let her have a sugar cookie. At least she’s eating something. . .” She rolled her shoulders back as she mumbled, “And keep my husband’s name out of your mouth.”
“Noted,” Doctor Thomas said, standing up from the chair. She looked down at Ella, “I hope you feel better, Ella. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Bye Doctor Thomas,” Ella waved to the blonde woman.
Before she left the room, Doctor Thomas turned around, the condescending smile still on her face, “Have you looked into that support group? I think it would really, really do you some good, Y/N.”
Y/N scoffed, marching towards the door to rip into Doctor Thomas, but she was gone by the time Y/N stepped out into the hallway, her chest heaving. Her eyes narrowed as another familiar blonde made his way down the hall, smiling and waving to the kids and their parents as they passed. Fire burned in Y/N’s veins as she stalked down the hall, determination written on her face.
“Hey!” She yelled as she set in on Jake, “Tell your little side piece to keep her nose out of the way I raise my child.”
“Side piece?” Jake’s eyebrows furrowed.
“Doctor Thomas,” Y/N sneered, “Trying to tell me what's right for my child.”
“Our child,” Jake corrected her, “And she’s probably right. She is a doctor after all.”
Y/N scoffed, “Of course you would side with her.”
“Unbelievable,” Jake shook his head. He looked around, noticing the eyes of the nurses, doctors, parents and techs on them as they squabled in the hallway. He grabbed Y/N’s arm, pulling her into an alcove by the nurses’ station, “You need to get yourself together. You’re causing a scene.”
“Me? Get myself together?” Y/N’s eyebrows rose in shock, “You’re the one screwing our child’s doctor!”
“I didn’t screw her!” Jake snapped.
“No,” Y/N chuckled, shaking her head, “You’re just spending late nights having secret conversations and confiding in her behind my back.”
“Do you blame me? It’s like talking to a brick wall with you,” The hurt settled into Y/N’s chest. She wrapped her arms around her chest, as if she could protect herself against Jake’s words. He sighed, placing his hands on his hips, “Y/N. . . you need to talk to someone. You aren’t sleeping. You’re lashing out at people. Your mother called me in tears the other day because you yelled at her. This isn’t you.”
“You don’t know what's me,” Y/N whispered, taking a step back from Ella, “I need to be with my daughter.”
“Our daughter,” Jake corrected her again. Y/N just shook her head, walking out of the alcove and back to Ella’s room.
— — —
Three days had passed since Jake and Y/N’s fight in the hallway. They had been walking on eggshells around one another. Y/N had started keeping some clothes and showering in Ella’s hospital room to avoid going home when Jake was there. Jake started placing a plate of food in the microwave for when Y/N would come home from the hospital before he went to be with Ella for the night. It had all seemed to work just fine, until it came crashing down.
Y/N was running late to switch Jake off from his night shift with Ella so he could get to work. Eli had pitched a fit about wanting to put pants on for daycare, and Alex was taking his time with packing his backpack for school. She had barely managed to get out the door on time to get the boys to school before zooming to the hospital to drop off Eli and relieve Jake.
Jake was pacing the lobby, waiting for his ex-wife to show up. It wasn’t like her to be late without texting or calling first. The worst came to his mind as he tried to keep his heart from pounding in his chest.
“Fuck it,” He cursed, pulling his phone out ready to call her, when the elevator dinged.
“I’m sorry!” Y/N breathed out, “I’m so sorry. I should’ve called by Eli dumped his breakfast on his pants and Alex forget his glasses and we were running-”
“It’s fine,” Jake huffed, “Mav has us doing classroom work. Nothing Dragon and Rooster can’t handle.”
Y/N shook her head, “I’m just. . . I’m so sorry.” Jake’s eyebrows furrowed as he watched his normally strong partner crumble because she was fifteen minutes late. Tears welled up in her eyes as she looked at Jake, “I promise next time I’ll-”
“Code Blue Room 310. Code Blue.”
The speaker above them sounded out interrupting them.
“That’s the room next to Ella’s,” Jake said, his heart coming to a complete stop in his chest.
“April,” Y/N breathed out.
Both of them turned on their feet, rushing down the hall as a mass of doctors and nurses went rushing into the room next to Ella’s. Y/N could see through the large bay window into the room as Miles started doing compressions on the little boy's chest, his parents standing in the corner with tears streaming down their faces.
It was like Y/N was stuck in that nightmare again. The images of her standing outside the hospital room, looking through the window while the doctors just stood around her child. Y/N turned her head as Sammy’s chest convulsed off the bed as they shocked his heart. Jake wrapped his arm around her, his hand cradling the back of her head as she held onto his flight suit. It was like a car crash on the side of the road, Jake couldn’t look away as they shocked Sammy’s heart again. The scene went on for only a few more minutes until the loud beep of asystole sounded out from the room, as the wails of parents filled the air.
“No! My Baby!”
“Time of death. . . nine thirty six.”
“Sammy! No! No!”
A sob left Y/N’s mouth, and Jake held her tighter.. The door to the room opened up, Miles being the first one to walk out, a discouraged look on his face. Y/N lifted her head meeting his sad brown eyes. It was the same look that he had given Y/N many months ago. The look of heartbreak and sorrow.
“I’m sorry,” Miles said, shaking his head and stalking off.
Y/N looked over her shoulder, seeing Jake’s stoic and shocked face, “W-what do we do?”
Jake looked down at her, and then back towards the room where the two parents cried over their dead son, “I don’t know. But we need to tell Ella. . . they are-were friends.” Y/N nodded her head.
Ella was wide awake in her bed when Y/N and Jake walked into the room. She smiled at them both, but it quickly faded seeing the frowns on her parents' faces. Y/N sat on the edge of Ella’s bed, and Jake stood behind her. She took a deep breath, gathering her thoughts. They didn’t exactly cover the topic of telling your four year old child that they’re friend just died of the same cancer they have in the parenting books. Jake sensed Y/N’s turmoil, taking a step forward and grabbing her hand. He squeezed it twice, and Y/N looked up at him. She gave him a tight lipped smile before squeezing his hand back twice.
“Ella,” Y/N started, “We need to tell you something. . .”
— — —
Y/N had never been so thankful to have her parents living in the same city. Clara and James were at the hospital within minutes of Y/N asking if they could stay with Ella. It had been a rough day with Ella, between trying to explain what happened to Sammy, to holding her while she threw up. It had been a day of tears and tantrums from the little girl, she didn’t want to be stuck with needles or be pumped full of medicine and neither one of her parents could blame her. Ella had fallen asleep on Jake’s chest before Clara and James arrived.
Y/N and Jake had moved in near silence as they made dinner, bathed the boys, and put them both to bed. The mental and physical toll of the day was starting to hit them like trains. Jake was amazed by how strong Y/N had been, being able to keep a smile on her face and care for Ella. He just wanted to go home and drink the day away.
“I’m gonna head to bed,” Jake said as they walked up the stairs. Y/N’s legs felt like bricks when she reached the top, “I called Mav and told him what happened. I got tomorrow off,” Y/N didn’t say anything as she stared at her bedroom door, “Goodnight, Y/N.”
It was silent for a moment as Y/N listened to the creak of the floorboards as Jake walked to his room.
“Jake,” Y/N called out, her voice barely above a whisper. He stopped in his tracks, not daring to look down the hall at her, “Stay with me,” She looked at him, “Please.” Unshed tears shone in her eyes.
Jake swallowed thickly, “Y/N,” He scratched the back of his neck, “I don’t think that's a good-”
Y/N shook her head, walking over to him, “Please,” She stood in front of him. She wanted to reach out and grab his hand, but refrained, “Please. . . stay with me. . . I don’t want to be alone after today.”
Jake looked into her eyes, seeing the longing and the fear that hid behind unshed tears. Silently, Jake agreed, grabbing her hand and intertwining their fingers and lead her down the hall. He gently pushed open her bedroom door. It was just the same as it was two years ago. It was as if she was still living in a time capsule where Jake had never betrayed her. Where they were still married. Where they were still one.
Jake walked Y/N over to her side of the bed, having her take a seat on the mattress. She watched as he moved around the room with muscle memory, opening drawers to her dresser, pulling out her normal pajamas; an oversized shirt and boxer shorts. He set them on the bed next to her, standing in front of her.
“Can you-”
“Help me?” They spoke at the same time.
Every fiber in Jake’s being was telling him no. Every fiber was telling him to leave the room, to tell her that she would be fine on her own and he’d be right down the hall if she needed him. But his heart was telling him that he couldn’t leave her. Not like this. Not when she had witnessed every sick parents’ worst nightmare. Jake functioned wordlessly, as he reached for Y/N’s hands, standing her up. His hands went to the hem of her shirt, pulling it over her head. He refrained from looking at her chest, which he felt like he deserved an award for. He folded the shirt nicely placing it on the bed behind her.
“You should probably do the um. . . pants,” Jake gestured to her lower half.
“Jake,” She chuckled, “We were married and had three kids. You can’t take my pants off?”
“Yes I-. . . Well you know that I can but this is. . . This is different,” Jake said.
“Why won’t you look at me?”
“Y/N,” Jake challenged.
“Jake,” Y/N shot back, “Look at me.”
Jake huffed, turning his head to look at her. It was the first time in nearly three years that he had seen her like this. His body felt like it had been lit on fire. Three years, and Y/N hadn’t aged a day. Her body was still perfect; beautiful skin, perky breasts, curves that brought grown men to their knees. Jake’s hands itched to touch her, to remember the feel of her skin beneath his palms. He felt his groin tighten at the memories of her being under him.
“Jake,” Y/N sighed, her heart beating rapidly in her chest. She could feel the warmth radiating off of him as she took a step closer..
“Y/N,” He warned.
“Please,” She begged, her eyes wide with lust, “I need you.”
“Y/N.”
“One night,” Y/N begged, “One night to make me forget, please.”
Jake groaned, grabbing her face and crashing his lips to hers. The familiar taste of her chapstick, something that hadn’t changed over the past three years. Her hands went to his hair, pulling on his blonde locks as his hands roamed her body, walking her backwards until they both landed on the bed. Y/N moaned as Jake’s lips landed on her neck, sucking and biting gently. She’d be lying if she said she hadn’t dreamed of having his lips on her skin again.
“Did he touch you?” Jake asked, his hot breath fanning her neck.
Y/N shook her head.
“I need to hear it, Y/N,” Jake said, looking at her, “Did he touch you?”
“No,” Her answer was solid, “Not like this. Not ever, like this.”
“Good,” Jake sat back on his haunches, grabbing the neck of his shirt and pulling it over his head, “Cause I don’t share.”
Y/N’s eyes shamelessly ran down his naked torso. It was obvious that Jake took care of his body. She remembered all those mornings of waking up to him playing music in the garage turned home gym. But seeing his sculpted body up close again, sent her into a frenzy as she reached out for him, pulling him back down against her. The two of them kissed passionately, hands roaming each other’s bodies, trying to pull one another as physically close as possible. Clothes ended up scattered around the room until they were bare in front of one another.
“Are you sure?” Jake asked, placing himself in between Y/N’s legs. His cock was hard and leaking, aching for some sort of relief. Y/N’s eyes wandered down his body, a shiver running through her body.
“Please,” She reached down and grabbed his cock, guiding it in between her legs, “Please, fuck me, Jake.”
Jake nodded his head, replacing Y/N’s hand with his own. He ran it over her folds, before gently pushing the head into her opening. A hiss left Y/N’s lips at the unfamiliar feeling of being stretched. Jake knelt down on his elbows, caging her head in between his arms.
“Look at me,” Jake whispered. Y/N’s eyes fluttered up to his green ones, “Breathe, I got you. I won’t hurt you.” Y/N nodded her head as Jake grabbed her thigh, guiding it over his hip, pushing into her a bit more. They both let out a gasp as Jake bottomed out, his hips flush against hers. He waited a moment, letting them both get used to the feel of one another.
“Jake,” Y/N placed both hands on his cheeks, “Move. Please.”
Jake complied moving his hips back ever so slightly and then pushing back into her. The painful stretch of Jake’s cock in her pussy slowly faded away until pleasure filled her body. Jake’s grunts filled the air, as he sped his hips up, and hit all the right places. Y/N dug her nails into his back, surely leaving angry red marks down the skin.
Neither one could remember the last time they had sex like this. Raw, emotional, full of passion. The two of them pawed and pulled each other as close as possible. Their lips swallow one another’s moans and cries of pleasure. Jake brought Y/N to the brink of orgasm twice, before cumming inside of her. He collapsed on her chest, their heartbeats erratic but still beating in time.
The two of them had cleaned each other up in near silence, both scared of even talking about what had transpired between them. Y/N laid on her side of the bed, far away from the door, wrapped in Jake’s arms, her head on his chest. She gently traced over the tattoo on his pec, the gentle cursive of her name. She had noticed the other day that he still had her initials tattooed on his ring finger.
“I’ll do it,” Y/N mumbled.
Jake furrowed his eyebrows, looking down at his wife, “Do what?”
Tears filled her eyes, as she looked at him, “I’ll go to the support group.”
Jake gave her a sad smile as he bent his head down, placing a feather soft kiss on her lips, “Goodnight, Y/N.”
“Goodnight, Jake.”
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