Doodle dump of some girlies ^-^

"I still do like Edelgard" You sure don't show it much lol.

SSSSSSSTOP LMAO

MY LONGASS ANSWER GOT ATE SO the tl;dr ver. of what I was GOING to say before Tumblr said nah: I do like Edelgard’s character, but the writing that tends to surround it dilutes how good she could have been. Edelgard’s character, as is, for the most part, I have no issues with as a villainous character and in fact can find myself enjoying pretty easily, but the game has too many moments that try to force the player to feel bad about her - not because of who she is as a character, but because sometimes other characters (most of whom having little to no connection with Edelgard) say she totally isn’t all bad and really more like us than it seems, and Edelgard is now totally not all bad and really more like us than it seems. 

Which isn’t true. Most of the cast wouldn’t wage war on an overall peaceful continent. Most of the cast wouldn’t outright admit pointblank to being willing to sacrifice the lives of those under their care to achieve some “greater cause” - in fact the other two lords of the game outright and explicitly reject that notion. Most of the cast isn’t willing to kill their friends if they try to stop them from committing horrible, morally reprehensible crimes such as grave-robbing... well, any resting place, really. Most of the cast aren’t willing to use the people under their care as meat shields to hide behind as they hole themselves away in the safety of their nice fancy throne room. Most of the cast aren’t willing to specifically order one of their supposed friends to man a ballista on a hill that is specifically rigged to be set on fire should any enemy try to take it. Most of the cast aren’t willing to use Demonic Beasts as tools. Most of the cast isn’t willing to hide and work with a sect of murderous people set on killing everyone who isn’t them in order to use their cool technology (which includes Demonic Beasts). 

Along with all of the other things Edelgard does that nearly no one else is willing to do due to the horrific nature of the action in question. But the game never addresses these actions in full at any point. The closest we come to accountability being put on Edelgard is, again, AM, and it does an overall fine job at it, but even that route doesn’t acknowledge the true depths of all that Edelgard has done - notice how even AM never brings up the use of Demonic Beasts, which has absolutely no moral justification, just like no other route brings it up, because it’s objectively bad that she’s willing to use them and so it cannot be brought up ever.

And. Just. Byleth. Holy shit, among all the characters that Byleth drags down, Edelgard is the biggest fuckin’ victim. She becomes this lil’ baby back bitch who can’t stand to attack her pwecious teacher who she weally wikes to draw and she has such a big cwush on them and she needs them to get ~softened~ but omg they saw her dwawing!! //>~<// So embbawwasing!! And oh nyo!! >m< Scawy wats!! But Edelgard just sounds adorable when she screams, right guys? You can say it twice, that’s how cute it is! Not a creep move to make at all!

Byleth makes Edelgard a complete and utter embarrassment. Edelgard needs Byleth, Edelgard’s weak to Byleth, Edelgard’s so soft to Byleth - which is all a good thing, apparently! 

Like, you see what I mean? A lot of my faults with Edelgard aren’t actually with Edelgard - she’s a villain, and so I view her actions through a villainous lens, and in doing so I think she’s fine, for the most part. More than fine, really! She, as her base character with very minimal changes, can make a damn good villain if allowed! But it’s the game having so many moments that try to remind you that she’s this good girly who just does fucked up things sometimes, in the same way that Dimitri and Claude are good boyos who just do fucked up things sometimes, and in doing so they end up severely downplaying just how bad she is... which in turn ends up having a large, laaaarge portion of the fandom either deliberately downplaying her actions/overplaying Dimitri and Claude’s (and Rhea’s oh boy Rhea’s) actions or just deadass not acknowledging the actions in the first place in order to make her stand with the other good guys of the game.

That, primarily, is what shits in my cereal about Edelgard. I really really really want to like her route, for example, because of the idea of “overt tones = Protagonist good, undertones = Protagonist bad” being so appealing to me, but it’s ruined by the knowledge I have that the game actually will try to make Edelgard better than she is. Is CF supposed to be this propaganda route that tricks the player into seeing Edelgard as the good guy via the nice words and the powerful protagonist, or is it supposed to be something that’s actually, genuinely trying to make Edelgard a good guy by, this time, deliberately hiding her actions and now straight up changing the story to erase some of her more egregious ones (mainly what she does with Dimitri)? I wanna say the former! But the narrative ends up muckin’ up that idea, if that is what they were going for. 

(I'm hoping you have some encouragement also some advice) how do I do art if I'm bad at it?

I'm so sorry I'm answering this literally 3 months later but i havent had my laptop in 3 months and i can't write anything meaningful without it oops

but yes i do!

- who cares about ugly art!!! Have fun make a mess make the ugliest son of a gun under the blue sky! having fun and being goofy and letting loose is the only thing that matters!!! If you have ever in your life said “oh I can’t draw I would even mess up a stick figure” I’m begging you to shrug off the idea that creativity needs to be for a product or an outcome. The process!! The process is all that matters! Colors and shapes scratch a corner of your brain no matter if you’re making something you’ll bin after making or submit to a gallery truly and really when crpl-pnk said to sing off key and dance off beat and make ugly art and write shitty poetry like. Yeah. They were right. Make art for art’s sake! Create because humans were built to create! Go stack up some sticks or rocks no one cares

okay so you've got that and you wanna know how to get inspired i got u there too:

- I feel like the things I jump out of bed to do are usually things I just want to see made. as simple as that: I just want to see them.

- jump into exploring what’s interesting to you at the moment and let that lead you to the next thought/piece of research/next idea piece body of work etc

-I also do a lot of image research!! and that is my art practice some days, especially as a disabled artist that's all i can muster. and that's so valuable! i think just about as important as the making of the art. learning what you like/learning new things. my Pinterest is my safe space now omg but before that and still i just organize my posts on tumblr here. ( @recycledguts guts is my acct for reblogging art, @burningoftheheart is where I reblog poetry/text, and on this blog I tag #art and #mundane art) I explore new mediums new ideas and it sparks new ideas while compiling sources and references and inspirations.

(here's my pinterest btw i think it's stellar)

- let yourself fuck things up!!!! mistakes are wonderful because they teach you what needs to be fixed next time. i like to take photos of all the parts of my process even and especially the hideous parts and the sketches bc its so cool to see where an idea started and ended and all that happened on the way. I think showing the journey and finding the beauty in having that around opens you up to letting more loose

it took me forever to be okay with fucking up. I used to be 'bad' at having a sketchbook like I’d want to curate every page and have every page look like a finished piece but what I’ve found is much more meaningful to me is like. Taping in scraps that inspire me or things from my day like a scrapbook and writing whatever I want and sketching out any idea that comes to me and doodling as well as the finished pieces. A really good piece of advice is basically don’t erase. You’re not wasting your paper theres always more paper to be had just turn the page and start again. (i actually laerned to be okay with process and ugly sketchbook bc of drawingwiffwaffles on youtbe after i got over their username and actually started watching their videos lmao) Robin Sealark on youtube was also key in my art making journey.

also like. realizing that no one else needs to see anything you make if you don’t want them to. you don’t need things to be polished and curated. Just make it for you and if you want to share it you can but you don’t need to make just to share yk?

also, your art probably isn’t bad. you’re probably just being your own worst critic. maybe you haven’t found the medium/technique for you

okay I'm sorry that was so long and so belated but i hope this helps!

Make Me Crescendo

Summary: Song-ah ponders if there is truly any space left in Joon Young's life for her. Joon Young shows her exactly where her place is.

Author's Note: I didn't expect to enjoy this show as much as I do honestly, I love the dynamic and chemistry between the leads. Most of the other characters could choke for all I care, but I love Song-ah and Joonie, they are goals and they deserve to just run away and be happy. Anyway, I was inspired so this happened. (Please don't leave comments asking about when I'll write more, I'll do it when I can and when I'm inspired for all of my stories. If you are going to leave a comment, you can tell me what you liked or what I could do better, appreciate that more!) Happy reading, please ignore all my lame music puns! 😂😈 

Music filters through the doors as she watches on her heart thumping erratically, a metronome expelling the staccatos of her fear. The gaggle of female students outside the door white noise in the background, their coos and awes stabbing her paper thin heart that is wavering in her chest.

They sound so good together!

Omg, don't they look perfect?

I think they would be a much better couple!

Taking a step back her violin bangs into the wall suddenly alerting them to her presence, her eyes dart wildly like a cornered animal as they look at her with pity and sneering apologetic eyes as if saying: you brought this on yourself, how could you ever think you could have him?

With a wet gasp, she scurries off avoiding their looks clutching her hands tightly as she bursts through the doors. The cool Spring air whips her hair around her face temporarily blocking her face from onlookers, the moisture on her cheeks causes strands to stick before she pushes them back.

Seeing them play in such perfect harmony has only cemented the doubts that already fill her mind, how can see ever measure how to Jung-kyung? A woman that he has not only loved for years but who also plays her instrument far better than she ever will? If she is meant to be a replacement, she stands no chance; they are worlds apart maybe it's time she accepted that.

I'll cherish our moments today, it was an honor.

She knows what she has to do, her heart whines but she blinks away her tears. He deserves better.

His missed calls and messages taunt her as she peers down despondently at her phone, she hasn't been able to bring herself to sever their bond. Every time she starts to type out a message to set him free, his smile flashes in her mind and she's rendered comatose. Instead flinging the cursed object far away and punishing her fingers as shrill notes screech from her violin.

Avoiding him isn't as simple as she'd hoped with everyone knowing about their ill-fated relationship and constantly inquiring about his whereabouts, it becomes sickening obvious that most "friends" who approach her with their shrieking calls of "unnie" could care less about her and are instead hoping to catch a glimpse of him.

As soon as they realized he was absent and had no plans of suddenly materializing, they bombarded her with excuses of why they needed to take their leave, immediately. She vaguely wondered if they cared at all about how little they made her feel, their treatment further emphasizing how insignificant others viewed her.

She was always disposable to others. She didn't even have a best friend to turn to for advice, someone else who has decided that she simply wasn't worth the trouble of staying and fighting.

Nobody had ever deigned her worthy of fighting for.

With a forlorn sigh, she grips her purse tighter better climbing the stairs to the school entrance. She only has one class to get through today, before she could escape to her room and ruminate on how to inform Joon-young that she couldn't do this anymore.

Arriving a few minutes early to class, she takes her seat closer to her front away from the gossiping girls who had been waving her over. She had no desire to listen to their backhanded comments on her lack of talent or unbelievable relationship, their words only added fuel to the vicious thoughts already cycling in her brain.

Pretending not to hear them beckoning her over, she looks at the professor with more focus than she's currently capable of, turning a blind eye to her surroundings.

Time crawls by like molasses poured from a jar, before the professor dismisses the class causing students to bolt from their seats, she being one of the first. He typically waits for her after this class and she has very little time to flee without him catching her, ignoring the calls of her name once more she takes her leave, violin thumping a dull pain on her back.

Cracking the door open she peeks outside, a sliver of her head breaching the opening, a sigh of relief falling from her lips when she meets a vacant spot. Stepping out further she glances around, but he is nowhere to be seen, the hallways empty besides students trekking to their next classes.

Her chest aches traitorously but she internally berates herself, this is good I don't want to see him, her heart ripples at the lie, refusing to engage in this façade that she's forcing. Clutching at her chest she takes one trembling step, then another before finding her resolve and racing to the door.

So close, almost there, come on.

Hand reaching for the handle, she twists it pushing it open seconds away from freedom.

"Song-ah!" Her skin prickles from his deep baritone, his tone wrapping her in a honeyed cocoon. She hesitates, fingers twitching on the cold smooth metal.

"Song-ah, wait!" The desperation in his voice halts her escape, unable to abandon him when his voice reveals so much about how he's feeling. She loathes the mere concept of being someone who hurts him.

Reinforcing her now wavering resolve she slowly spins around, their eyes meeting in a clash, his own shining brightly as he peers into her soul. Her breath hitches as she watches him step closer to her, suddenly there isn't enough oxygen in the room, her lungs wheeze at the atmospheric change.

His beautiful hands gradually elevate, millimeters from her skin, as he begs for permission with his smoldering dark eyes.

She almost accepts defeat, before Jung-kyung's smug sour face flashes in her mind. Dousing her with icy cold realization, they just aren't meant to be.

She draws away from his searching fingers, stepping just out of his reach.

Hurt blazes across his handsome face, hardening in his eyes.

"Why have you been ignoring my calls and messages?"

He goes straight for the jugular, not pussyfooting around the elephant in the room.

"I've been busy practicing." She responds weakly, recoiling under his hard glint.

He steps forward once more, instinctively she retreats, the demure mouse to his assertive cat.

He sighs, stepping back his shoulder sagging in disappointment.

"What's wrong? Why won't you even let me come close to you? Why are you ignoring me?"

This is the moment, the one she's been yearning and waiting for, the perfect opportunity to put this sham to an end. Her mouth opens and closes as she pushes herself to be courageous for once, do the right thing and put both of them out of their misery.

You look better with her. I don't deserve you. I'm not good enough. Not strong enough. Leave. Leave me.

Please.

But, she can't. Can't get her mouth to say any of those truths. Fear and heartbreak render her immobile and cowardice takes center stage instead, ready for its solo.

"I...I...." He looks at her with warm eyes, pleading with her to finish her sentence, hope settled in the lines of his skin.

"I have to go."

"Song-ah!"

Her breath doesn't return until she's shaking on her seat at the bus stop. He hadn't chased her. Maybe he had just learned that she wasn't worthy the trouble.

Her days lapse by as she moves through life resembling a zombie, obsessively looking at her phone only to feel her heart fracture each time no notifications await her hungry eyes.

She goes to class as normal, no longer having to avoid her classmates as they have moved on to something more entertaining than her relationship. Their piteous looks make her skin crawl, her fight with Joon-young the talk of the town. Now they can freely gossip about her and how they knew it would never last, the pure glee on their faces is grotesque.

She sees him in passing in the hallway but he keeps his distance, never maintaining eye contact for too long. She's getting exactly what she wanted. Yet she feels sick to her stomach, her skin clammy and cool.

The irony isn't lost on her, how appropriate that this would be the one thing she's able to do successfully. Ruin her own life and sabotage her own happiness.

There are nights when her control falters and she stares at the illuminated screen of her phone, writing a message only to erase it with a sigh before crashing into her mattress. Her limps are heavy and uncoordinated as she flails upon the surface.

"Why does this have to be so hard?" Her question goes unanswered in the stillness of the night, as she ultimately falls into a fitful slumber.

Finally pulling herself together after days of quiet anguish, she goes back to her mission to find an accompanist.

She closes her phone as she says her final good byes to the team leader, thanking her for allowing her to use the rehearsal room in the Kyungoo building.

The winds blows the wispy ends of her skirt, dragging the material across the smooth skin of her knee. Subconsciously she tugs at the material, its a bit shorter than her usual ensemble she'd ordered it online not expecting it to hit inches above her knee. It seemed longer in the photos. 

A voice shouting her name drags her from her self-conscious inklings, as she spins around to see her potential accompanist.

A welcoming smile tugs her lips up, dimples sinking into her skin with familiarity.

Raising her hand in a small wave, bowing while calling out, "Hello! Nice to meet you, I'm Chae Song-ah, chae not choi, like the vegetable." Explaining before the inevitable questioning and confusion can sour their interaction with awkwardness. 

The sheepish grin informs her that she did the right thing, a hand is extended into her space and she grasps it in her own.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Park Min-jae." His warm smiles immediately puts her at ease. Together they enter the building amicable conversation flowing easily.

Hours pass as the music ricochets around the room, her bow light in her hands as she drags it across the strings, flabbergasted as harmonious sounds permeate the air. His fingers move in a flurry across black and white keys, shoulders bouncing in rhythmically as the song nears it end. Their last notes swirling around each other in a perfect crescendo.

"Wow, that was fun! You did great!" He breaks the silence, and his words leave her breathless.

She's been prepared for insults and sharpened words, his praise disorient her.

His wide grin leaves little room for argument so she merely nods, not quite believing him.

He starts to gather his belongings before turning to her, "I have to head out but I mean it, I think we sounded pretty good together. What do you think? Was I good enough for you?"

His innocent question plummets her into a sea of memories, his face at the forefront of her thoughts.

Shaking herself free she quietly replies, "Yes, it was good. You were good."

He lifts an eyebrow but says nothing else at her words.

"Okay, I'm free this weekend. Give me a call if you want to practice some more."

She nods finally collecting her own belongings, then turning off the lights and exiting the room.

The air is charged as the walk side by side and it's doesn't make sense until she turns the corner. Park Min-jae's excited voice never falters as she stands still, eyes locked on the new arrival.

Joon-young stands before her, eyes scouring her face before darting to the unknown man standing beside her. She watches his Adam's apple bob distractedly, as his eyes darken minutely.

"And I think we should..." Park Min-jae's voice peters off as he notices her unmoving figure before noticing that there is someone new. 

All three of them stand there wordlessly before park Min-jae cracks the uncomfortable silence.

"Hi, I'm Park Min-jae. A friend of Song-ah, nice to meet you." The and you are? lingers in the air.

Her brain stutters at the possibilities and she rushes to provide an answer.

"Oh! This is Joon-young, he's just a fri-"

"Her boyfriend." He extends a hand but his eyes never leave her face, she feels as if she's being challenged and she doesn't know how to respond.

"Nice to meet you! I didn't know you had a boyfriend, you should have let me know before flashing those pretty dimples at me." Park Min-jae's teasing smile unsettles her causing her to shift under his gaze, unbeknownst to her Joon-young's grip tightens ever so slightly in their handshake.

Suddenly her potential accompanist winces and jumps, apologetic look on his face before he retracts his hand to put them up in acquiesce.

"Sorry."

Joon-young looks at him, the seconds dragging before he nods looking away from again. Eyes for her only.

"Um..so I'll talk to you later? It was nice to meet you." Park Min-jae bows once more, glancing between them both before shaking his head and all but running away.

She feels pinned under his look and rubs her own arm simply to have something else to focus on. Feigning distraction, she looks at the ground; heart clattering frantically at his sudden appearance.

Mumbling under her breathe she finally speaks, "What are you doing here?"

She's completely unprepared for his hands to slide into hers with ease, her fingers curling around his before her brain can register what is occurring.

"Come with me." The please is unsaid but loud as a high C and she nods, helplessly following his lead as he drags her back into the rehearsal room.

The click of the door closing is harsh in the quiet of the room, as he stops in the center of the room. Large hand still wrapped around her own, his warmth drift into her brittle bones.

"Who was that?"

Glancing up at him from under dark lashes she swallows, "Park Min-jae, a pianist. I wanted to see if we could play together. My teacher recommended him."

Humming in response he stares her dead in her eyes, it takes every fiber of her being to maintain the contact.

"Why were you going to tell him I was just a friend?"

Sputtering, she chokes on nothing pulling her hand away to cover her mouth as small coughs escape.

Concern flashes on his face before it's driven away with anger.

She quivers under his hard stare, "I thought....I didn't know...we haven't spoken in days."

Pressing forward he invades her space, jaw tight.

"Do you think it's that easy?"

Mouth falling open in a perfect o, she looks at him in confusion. Lost at his meaning and wondering what is going through his mind, it's difficult to read his body language.

"What?"

"Do you think our relationship is that... trivial? Do you think a few days without conversing is all it takes to end it?"

Anger and hurt color the words as they fall from his lips and land like daggers in her stomach.

But he's not finished, not by a long shot.

"You can't just push me away and replace me with someone else!"

His cry echoes around the room and she stands in shock, contemplating picking her jaw up off the ground. When he says nothing more, simply pushes out harsh breaths and squeezes his fists by his side she finds her voice.

"What are you talking about? I'm not doing...that."

"Then what are you doing? You don't answer my calls or call me for days and now you're here with someone else, who flirts with you right in my face." She collapses guiltily. "How can you not have time for me? I'm your boyfriend, why can't you make space for me?"

Is there any room for me?

Like a wave, all her emotions and pain and insecurities and fears come surging out, his question the blow that broke the dam.

"You're the one who has no space for me. I saw you two that day, you looked like you fit. Two musical prodigies, it made sense. More sense than you and I. I can't do it, I can't pretend that I don't see everyone looking at us. Nobody understands why you'd want me. You should be with someone like her, she's from a good family and she plays the violin better than I'll ever--"

His hands latch onto her shaking shoulders, pushing her backwards until her violin collides with a click into the piano.

She whimpers as he gazes down at her, frustration streaming off him in waves.

"You don't understand how I could want you? I'll explain it, in detail. Listen closely because I don’t want to ever need to this again"

She gulps.

He swaggers closer, arms reaching over her shoulders to rest on the smooth surface of the piano. Brushing against her shoulder before gently gripping the straps of her violin, he removes them before placing the instrument carefully on the ground. Taking the weight from her shoulders.

His warm breath caresses her skin before he cups her face, hands tender on her hot cheeks. Air catches in her throat as she shyly looks up at him.

Almost instantly he smiles in return, dimples greeting her as his smile warms her to her core.

"I like how you make me smile, whenever I see you my heart feels at ease and I feel like everything will be okay. I like how you smile at me, you look prettiest when smiling at me."

Her cheeks flush from his compliments and she turns away embarrassed only to feel his sure fingers on the point of her chin, dragging her back into the penetrating line of his eyes; refusing to let her push him away again.

"I like how hard you work to be better, I like how you never stoop to others level you're kind to everyone despite how they treat you. I like your dimples, I always want to touch then. I like how you listen to me and want to hear about my life. I like that you don't treat me like I'm breakable and you tell me when you don't like something."

Then the air crackles as his hands smooth down her skin before settling on her neck, tugging her closer, she reaches out to grab his waist for balance.

"I like kissing you, I like how your lips feel on mine. I like how you open up for me. I like the little sounds you make."

Like a manifestation, a small shocked gasps tumbles from her lips and his eyes meander down to look at them in response. His own cheeks are scorching, red and flushed too but he doesn't seem like he has any intentions of stopping. Fearlessly pushing past his comfort zones.

Pulling her against his body now, his fingers twisted in the dark material of his button down shirt, he gazes at her adoration pouring from his eyes.

"I like you Song-ah. I like you so much. I don't want anyone else, there's space for you. In my heart there's so much space just for you."

He brushes her hair out of her face, his face open and vulnerable.

"Do you want it?"

Do you want me?

She looks at him as he awaits her answer and wonders what she ever did to deserve this? It seems too good to be true, she has never won anything in her life coming in last at everything that has counted. So how can this be true, how can she possibly deserve something has precious and valuable as his heart?

Smiling in defeat she nods at him, "I want you."

His joy is contagious as he grabs her, strong arms wrapping her in a warm embrace. She returns the hug, face smashed into the soft cotton of his shirt.

Slowly they draw away from each other, smiles not fading and then she catches his incessant gaze on her lips.

"Can I?"

Blushing she bites her lip nervously, tingling under his close appraisal. At the merest nod of her head he's on her, his lips crashing into her own as his hands tighten on their new location on her hips.

Tilting onto the tips of her toes she presses back, moaning as his tongue teases the seams of her closed mouth, her arms reaching up to wrap around his neck.

His taste explodes on her buds as his slick muscle swipes around her moist cavern, he delicately sucks on her tongue enticing her to join him in his explorations. She trips as she attempts to press even closer to him, breaking their deep embrace.

Embarrassed at her lack of grace and coordination she opens her mouth, apology on the tip of her tongue. Before his next move steals her breath.

Easy as pie, he grips tightens on her waist as he hoists her up until she's sitting on the edge of the grand piano.

Her blush is now painful as it rages on her exhausted cheeks.

He smiles at her, disarming her before he steps forward her new position bringing their lips in perfect proximity.

"You looks pretty when you blush too." He teases and she slaps his chest in reprimand but he catches the appendages, trapping them between their body as he descends on her mouth again.

Kisses deeper and slower this time, largo as their tongues roll and plunder. His hands stroke her hair, his fingers traipsing across the soft skin of neck. He suddenly grabs her hips dragging her across the smooth surface until their groins collide and she gasps loudly at the hardness that jabs into her.

They both bolt back, frenzied eyes meeting as they take in this moment.

She's never gone this far before, never even kissed anyone. He is the owner of so many of her first, it's terrifying.

Looking down she sees his straining erection, a long line tenting the satin smoothness of his dress paints. Blushing she forces her eyes from the tempting sight, to look at his face. Momentarily frozen under his look, first time seeing them set ablaze with desire. All for her. 

"Are you okay?" His voice rumbles making her skin pebble with anticipation.

Is she okay? She can't quite answer such a big question, her head spinning from everything that has happened. She feels like her skin is going to burst apart and he's the only thing keeping her together, both her destruction and her resurrection.

Wrapping her legs around his waist she boldly yanks him back into her orbit, kissing the question off his mouth. He stills for a moment before responding, devouring her mouth as she opens up for him, slick noises loud to her ears.

Her lips are raw and tender as they kiss making up for all their time apart, then she feels her world tilting as he presses her back onto the piano, lips still swallowing her own until her back meets the cool material and their lips disengage.

He looks at her, her body spread across the instrument like an offering. She feels naked under his gaze.

Then his eyes shift to her skirt, high on her thigh from her sprawled position and she starts to sit up but he's faster to react, catching the edge of her skirt and fingering the material that trails across her thigh.

After thick moments of silence, he gazes up at her slowly drawing her skirt up her thighs, the cool air rushes across her hot skin and she gasps and squirms under his steady hands.

He stops at her movement glancing at her, she bites her lip, opening her legs ever so slightly and that's all the answer that he needs. Tugging the material slowly, slowly, adagio up her skin pushing it over her hips and his groan causes wetness to pool between her legs, she looks away in shame.

He fingers at her stark white panties, she jumps at his first touch on the skin above her undergarment. Peering down to watch his eyes locked on her in awe, his long fingers running across her skin before he stops to tug at the cute little bow on the top of her underwear.

Eyes never leaving hers, he drags the thin material down pausing to give her a chance to stop him, one word from her and this will all come to an end she has no doubts.

Tacet.

He pulls the material down, down before dragging it off her feet and folding it neatly in a square before placing it on a chair to the side.

"Beautiful."

His eyes are smoldering on her skin as she eagerly awaiting his next move, equal parts excitement and anxiety.

Clutching her eyes shut she grips futilely for purchase, before he knocks the breath from her lungs with his first slow drag on her opening, his tongue swiping through the moisture dripping from her. A gasp is punched from her chest, as he licks at her again, deeper the second time almost slurping at her and she cries out from the foreign sensation, pleasure ravaging her body.

"Ah! Joon-young ah!"

He surges at her cry and subsequent proclamation of his name, nimble fingers soon joining his tongue and pushing knuckle deep into her wet bud playing her as expertly as his beloved piano, her whines and whimpers serving as music to his ears.

Using two fingers he pries her lips open, exposing her further to his hungry eyes and mouth. His tongue stiffen into a point he jabs into her drenched hole, collecting her sweet nectar as he swipes across her walls.

She pants loudly, grabbing his hair in warning as she feels a ball tightening in the pits of her stomach, another first as he thrusts into her over and over, her skin puckering up in anticipation.

"Please, I, I...."

As her body nears its crescendo, release blinding her as pleasure flashes blinding white, suddenly he pulls away, she whines from the emptiness crying out for him.

When she opens her eyes in a weak glare, she finds him bent over the piano his bangs sweaty as they stick to his forehead. Gathering herself she sits up, eyes widening in surprise and arousal when she sees his erection jutting from his own fly and his fist wrapped around the rigid ruddy flesh.

He'd been touching himself while tasting her. That had been enough to hurl him dangerously close to the edge. Something like pride bubbles in her chest.

Clamoring off the piano, her heels clicks when she lands on the floor and that catches his attention.

He looks up at her with dazed eyes, looking younger with his bangs skewed and messy, his lips shiny with her condensation.

Taking the lead she grasps his hands tugging him until he snaps out of his stupor, within two steps they reach the piano bench and he looks at it and then her, puzzled before she gently presses his shoulders and seats him on the bench.

It's his turn to gasp as she climbs into his lap, her face scarlet red as his erection brushes against her sacred flower.

"Are you sure?" He asks, using every last bit of control to keep his hips still even as his body aches to plunge into her wet hole, mere inches away the heat wafting off all too tempting.

"Yes." She watches as he grips himself by the base, rubbing the head through her juices and her head falls back from the sensation and then his tip is at her entrance and she holds her breath.

He reaches up to hold her face, forcing her to meet his eye, "Breathe." He commands and as she inhales he slides into her, breaching her tight opening with one long smooth thrust upwards.

Her arms tighten around the wide stretch of his shoulders as gravity drags her further down his impressive length, pain and pleasure warring for dominance.

"Just a minute." She pleads and instantly he stops, rubbing soothing circles on her back as she loosens around him. When she can breathe again, she lifts herself up before sliding back down pleasure knocking pain back on its ass.

Immediately she needs more, lifting up again before slamming down onto his hard cock, wet sounds echoing off the walls and at first he is motionless, simply letting himself be used by her. But then he grips her tight cheeks, using them as leverage as he plants his feet and viciously pistons into her, her shriek deafening in this room made for acoustics.

They crash into each other, as they chase their release, his fingers easily unbuttoning her shirt and pushing it off her skin before catching her pebbled nipples through the thin lace of her bra. Her soft breasts jiggle as she bounces in his lap, his hard length driving into her, over and over and over.

At a particularly brutal thrust of his hips, she loses her precarious balance and falls back, instantly he grips her waist slowing her descent and lessening the blow, her back crashes into the piano keys and jarring dissonance filling the air.

They both glance at each other before smiling, recalling their last mishap with the piano after their first kiss.

Her sprawled position on the piano opens her wider and without pause he thrusts up into her again, tugging her back to meet his movement.

Light flashes behind her eyelids as he fucks into her, the piano crying out underneath their onslaught. She's too close to care and his frenzied thrusts make it clear he's not far behind.

He pries her eyes open once more, before kissing her. The gentle press of his lips in complete opposition to the hard hits of his hips. 

"Please, come." He whispers, begging her and simultaneously informing her of his plans.

She feels every molecule in her body burst apart as she vibrates on the piano, walls tightening around his length as he struggles to thrust through the vicelike grip she has on him before a hot stream fills her up, sticky and leaking, and he melts under her his head falling onto her belly.

It feels..... weird. Not nearly as sexy as it's depicted in videos. But a piece of her is giddy to be so full of him, her blush permanently stained on her cheek at this point.

Gently he drags himself out of her, she shudders as she feels his release leaking out without him there to keep it in. When she glances down pearly white substance is smeared across the keys of the piano.

She immediately feels filthy, complete disbelief at what exactly they'd done and where they'd done it. She covers her face in shame.

Something brushes against her sensitive skin and her eyes pop openly only to shriek as she watches in horror as Joon-young, cleans up the mess between her legs and the piano keys with a handkerchief.

Her handkerchief to be exact.

Grinning bashfully at her he shrugs, shoulders now light as his hair flops on his face.

"I'll wash it later."

Too embarrassed to answer she merely stands up, small smile tugging at her lips as she picks up her neatly folder panty before stepping back into it.

"Do you see now?" Do you see how much I want you? How much space there is, just for you?"

She's fighting losing battle. The irony isn't lost on her, the one time she loses it's the best thing that's ever happened to her.

In the hallway Jung-kyung pounds her fist into the wall, arriving minutes ago to practice with Joon-young for her recital only to hear the loud crashes of a piano keys. She'd been worried about him, was he angry because she was late? Missing her terribly?

She'd rushed to open the door only to stop frozen as she heard moans following the clash of the piano, soft feminine moans followed by a voice she knew all too well. Jealous and rage consumed her at the thought of that...nobody touching her Joon-young.

Taking as deep breath she turns around walking away, she will not give up on him but staying right now is impossible she can't bear the thought of seeing him glowing from being with someone else. This was probably how he felt watching her all these years.

She will be patient and wait for him.

They are destined and his time with Song-ah is fleeting, she knows he wants her. There isn't space for anyone else.

Survey #421

“hunted by hundreds and never to be caught  /  descent to wander, bring terror and take 'em all beyond”

Which do you prefer, donut holes, jelly filled donuts or normal donuts? Normal donuts. When you get old, are you going to make a will? I mean probably. Ever made your own definition for something on Urban Dictionary? No. What do you call your grandparents? "Grammy" and "Grampa." Do you like weddings? Not especially because I'm a bitter fuck. Do you want to live in a dorm in college? I never wanted to, so I never did. Have you ever had your tonsils taken out? No. Are you single/taken/crushing/confused? Single/confused. Is your best friend single? Yes. Is your first real best friend still there for you? I mean we have one another on Facebook, but that's the extent of it. Do you still care for your first love? Very much. I hope he's doing okay since his mother passed. What color is your blanket? Navy with black swirls. Are you listening to music right now? Yes. I am obseeeeeessed with Alissa White-Gluz's cover of Powerwolf's "Demons Are a Girl's Best Friend." Have you ever felt as if you lost your one true love? I feel like that all the time. But I should add that I don't believe there is JUST ONE person designed for you. There are way, way too many people on this earth to have just a single, perfect match. Which do you like better: Bowser, Mario, Luigi, or Princess Peach? Well I mean I always picked Luigi in Mario Kart, so I got a bias, ha ha. How many tattoos do you have? Six. Plenty, PLENTY more to come, though. Would you ever consider getting a mohawk? No. What do you like to do most in your free time? Do random shit on the computer. What’s your work title? Unemployed. Do you pay rent? I don't. What was the reason behind the last time you wore a bandage? I cut my finger opening up a cup of yogurt. Yes, I'm serious. What music artist have you listened to a lot lately? Powerwolf, lately. And Motionless In White. Who is taller, you or your best friend? Me. When was the first time you ever listened to your favorite music artist? Well, as a little kid, Mom would play some Ozzy in the car occasionally, and I actually loved "Perry Mason" so much that I would ask for her to play it. Growing up I'd obviously heard "Crazy Train" through random things, but I never truly listened to him until I got into middle school and went through my mother's CD case, discovering new music as I got into rock and metal. Do/did your siblings cause trouble? Nah, not really. If your siblings are old enough, what do they do for work? I honestly don't remember my half-siblings' positions, but my immediate younger sister is a children's social worker, and my older sis is a mammographer. Have you ever been jealous of your siblings? Jealous, no. Envious, extremely. They know what the hell they're doing with their lives and making shit happen. Do you still live with your parent/s or do you live alone/with a partner? I live with my mother. What feeling do you have the most difficulty in expressing? Jealousy. How do you think you would handle yourself in a crisis situation? Freeze up and probably die lol. Does any particular season make you happier than others? Why/why not? Yes, autumn. It's not hot as fuck, the air always feels so fresh to me, and I love the many colors of fall. It's just... chill. Can you adapt to change easily? Any examples? FUCK. NO. Do you see yourself as worthy of love? Why/why not? This answer can change from "yes, because I'm a good human" to "fuck no because I'm worthless" in 0.5 seconds. Do you think you are competitive? Do you really dislike losing? Not in general, but I can be in some areas. What would you be famous for? Fuck if I know. If you had to, would you rather dye your hair red or black? Red. I loved my hair when it actually took red dye well. What do you typically do on Easter Day? Go to my older sister's house. Have you ever viewed the moon through a telescope? No. Do you normally finish one book before starting another? Always. If you were given the chance to be immortal, would you take it? Heeeeeell no. Would you pierce your nipples for $100? Almost certainly yes; I mean that's $100 for something I can just take out if I don't like it. Have you ever dated someone who had a child? No. Would you ever consider adoption? Even if I wanted a child, no. I know I would need either the blood connection or for the child to be my partner's that I truly love. Do you tend to go for guys/girls with certain eye/hair colors? No, I really don't care how you look on the outside. Do you know anyone who plays guitar? Yes. Do you live within an hour of the ocean? More like two hours. What are you currently sitting/laying on? My bed. Have you ever dated a friend of one of your siblings? No. Did you have an imaginary friend as a child? An imaginary wolf, yeah. Which parent do you look most like? My mom, I think. Ever failed a test? Yes. That's all I did in algebra during my last college attempt. Do you have any friends who are famous? No. Your most recent ex breaks down and tells you they love you, what do you do? Well I know she loves me as a friend, but idk if she still does romantically, but either way, I'd tell her I love her too and ask if I can do anything for her. You and your last ex: who should hate who? Neither of us. We have a perfectly fine relationship. Do you believe you pick who you fall in love with? Definitely not. Last thing you ate? I had a peanut butter sandwich for breakfast. Are you obsessed with someone? *discreetly eyes Markiplier* If you had to write a brief message on a dollar bill that many people would eventually see as the currency circulates, what message would you write? I'd have to think longer on this, but definitely something about not putting so much worth into the money and not allowing greed to rule the individual. What serves as the greatest motivation for you in your daily life? The hope for a happy, prosperous future. If you were a multimillionaire, what do you believe you would be doing at this very moment? Well, it's morning and this is my prime time to really just chill and do my first scope of the Internet, so I'd probably be in a beautiful house in the woods of the mountains by a beautiful waterfall. I'd have the windows down to listen to nature, make sure via AC if necessary that it's cool... Damn, that sounds nice. If you could have a cookie jar full of anything you wanted, except money or cookies, what would it be full of? Hm. Perhaps a very motivational quote that I'd draw each day, kind of like fortune cookies, but actually good and applicable, ha ha. If someone were looking for you in a bookstore, in what section would they be most likely to find you? YA or fiction. If your ex came up to you and asked you to take them back, what would you say? Anyone but Jason or Sara would be an automatic "no." Jason would have to really prove himself. Sara, I'd be willing, but would ask her if that's what she really wants given our positions right now. Do you think Ke$ha is annoying? I don't know anything about her personally. I actually liked her music back in the day, even when I was all about metal. Last time you were hit on? No idea. Do you ever write in pencil any more? I always do if I have that option. I don't like that you can't erase with a pen. If you HAD to get a piercing (not ears) what would you get? At this current time, my right nostril again. What do you wish you had more knowledge about? Politics. Would you ever get someone's name tattooed on you? Noooo. Do you have a lot of scars? Yes. I scar very easily. Have you ever had stitches? Twice. Have you ever dealt with a divorce or parents fighting or any kind of abuse at home? Before my parents divorced, there was a lot of fighting. Do you remember the person you first kissed? Of course I do. Have you ever kissed someone you weren’t dating? No. Who was the last person you fell asleep with? Sara. Have you ever listened to music you hated just to fit in? "Hated," no. I just tried to get into bands that I just couldn't, but didn't hate. Ever been called babe? Yeah. What is your favorite Pop-Tart flavor? Chocolate sundae. Have you ever made your parents cry? Yeah, sadly. Do you wear glasses? Yeah. And yet I'm still blind with 'em. Have you ever made out with somebody on a bed? Yeah. Are you tan? Most definitely not. How did you meet the last person you texted? She kinda like, gave birth to me. Next big event? My nephew's fifth birthday. Ugh, how is he getting that old. Do you think you have to be skinny in order to be beautiful? Fuck off, no. There are some gorgeous/attractive plus-sized people. Have you ever made out on a couch? Yes. Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry? Oh god, she witnessed me sob once. Would you ever get gauged ears? I want very small gauges in my bottom earlobe piercings. What is your favorite sushi? Ew. Have you ever been in a school talent show? What for? Noooo sir. What were you like at 17? Oh god... so sad and yet so happily, madly in love at the same time. I both love and hate that era. Tell us about your worst date. Haven't really had a bad one. I had one with Tyler that was an adventure that most would consider awful (flat tire, had to walk in the whipping wind), but I had fun, ha ha. What should be illegal that isn’t already? I dunno. What’s the song you most wish you had written? Probably John Lennon's "Imagine." What is the worst break up you have experienced? Y'ALL KNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW. Do your parents wish you were more successful? Oh, I am CERTAIN they do. They'd never admit it, I'm sure, but I know I'm disappointing. I had so much promise in school. Has a significant other called you unattractive before? WOW, no. Has a significant other ever called you by the wrong name? omg no Have you ever caught someone doing something bad? Cheating on their bf, yes. Has a dentist ever screwed up on anything when working on you? No, I don't think so. What is the worst birthday you have ever had? My 16th. I felt very, very unloved. I don't even like going into it. Have you ever been spit on by a llama? No. Have you ever locked yourself out of your car/house? The house, yes. With my elderly dog with arthritis, in the middle of winter after a good snow. I was freezing, sitting on the front porch and eventually crying. My phone was inside so I couldn't reach my mom, who was at work. As night came, I finally broke and went down the street knocking on my neighbors' doors, and probably the worst fucking one opened. With a gun in his hand. He was apparently an ex-sheriff, and he clearly didn't trust me. He was kind enough to let Teddy, who was incontinent and marked territory, inside (thank fuck he didn't pee in the guy's house), and he gave me a jacket, but Christ, we played 20 goddamn questions to see if I was legit, I'm assuming. I was beyond thankful when Mom finally got there when I used his phone to call her. And as it turned out? The door wasn't even fucking locked, our old dog just jammed the hell outta it by jumping. I was so, so pissed.

Heyyyyy, so about that doc with the AU ideas.... (Please feed me I yearn for content)

im obsessed with the idea of monoma and aizawa being related to afo lol. you only see like 3 quirks in the whole series that are based on other quirks - what i would call ‘meta quirks,’ that would only have any function in a world of quirked people. so ofc these 3 quirks have to be related:

afo decided to have a bunch of kids, to see if he could make noumus out of them which retained their brains after being given a bunch of quirks. he impregnated a bunch of women lol, but he kept tabs on them. as soon as the kids turned 4 and presented their quirk, they would be kidnapped by the doctor and brought into the lab. most of the kids had quirks based on quirks (seeing quirks, stealing quirks, copying quirks, erasing quirks…) and are various ages. aizawa, monoma and midoriya were some of them, but aizawa got saved by his badass mother when he was still a kid, so he was already gone by the time midoriya and monoma came around. the two of them manage to escape while afo is still recovering from his fight with all might, and since monoma’s mother was killed by afo, he goes to live with midoriya and his mother. they go off the grid and run away from afo. in this au midoriya is quirkless, up until he meets all might and it goes as usual. umm could be from monoma’s pov, and include monoshin because that’s cute. basically after the sports festival, afo finds monoma again and in the summer camp they kidnap him instead of bakugou. (the reason why aizawa was never caught or taken back by afo is because he won the whole sports fest and became too famous/well protected to be easily stolen back - since monoma didn’t make the fight rounds, he’s a perfect target. afo only knew the kids by their quirks, he never actually met them, so he doesn’t realise that midoriya is one of his kids as well because mido has a quirk now.) anyway so after they kidnap monoma back, he and midoriya spill the beans to the ua faculty, aizawa has a midlife crisis over the fact that he now has younger siblings, and afo continues to be a dick who doesn’t pay child support.

just some sweets stuff as well:

Christmas cake: Japanese slang for an unmarried woman over 25 who is considered undesirable as a wife, in the same way that Christmas cakes are considered useless after Christmas Day.

Good thing for Jirou, she never cared much about being ‘desirable’ to the opposite sex anyway.

-> a momojirou story about jirou’s 26th birthday and momo reassuring her that she is the best gf ever, and that she loves her very much. pro hero gfs <3

*

like. the trope of aizawa adopting shinsou? well what about instead… hawks adopting tokoyami?? maybe he comes from a super religious family and they tried to exorcise the ‘demon’ from him, protective services put him in the foster system, and he ends up with really shitty foster families, and his quirk is considered ‘dangerous.’ but then our boy hawks swoops in and goes ‘u know what? i’m not letting my intern get disrespected like this’ and adopts him. obviously hawks is still young himself (22 i think), so he’s not very good at the whole parenting thing, but miruko helps him out. he becomes an older brother figure for tokoyami. gen found family fluff ensues

*

bEST JEANIST AS A TEENAGE FASHION ICON

thats it, thats the idea

*

HAIKYUU AU - no quirks. just volleyball

so the ua boys volleyball team is on the rocks. its been pretty much non-existent and turned to dust at this point. but, it once own the nationals.

izuku’s mum runs this second hand / antique / trinket store, and izuku helps out sometimes. one day, he finds some old sports tapes in the back and watches them - they’re of the year when ua was at nationals, and their striker, yagi toshinori, inspires izuku to play volleyball.

bakugo is on the school team and he threatens / bullies izuku not to join, so izuku has to train on his own. he learns shitty technique, but he ends up building some muscle by clearing out the beach.

izuku gets into ua, and when he goes to apply for the volleyball team, ofc bakugo picks a fight. the other first-years who join the team are todoroki, kaminari, shinsou, kirishima, and iida. there aren’t any second years - they all got expelled - but mirio and tamaki are on the team as third years, and nejirou is the team manager. their teacher sponsor is a new teacher this year, and it’s left ambiguous. there’s the whole ‘get over ur differences if u want to join’ thing, and then woohoo! team!

turns out their teacher sponsor is aizawa. he drags in the now-retired-due-to-injury yagi toshinori to be the coach. when aizawa went to ua, the volleyball team was too small to go to any tournaments - he’s determined to turn it around and let these kids live their dreams.

some ‘canon? what’s that?’ ideas:

just a really wholesome story about inko and mitsuki being besties. met in middle school or something, supported each other through everything… just gals being the best of pals...

or i mean u could make it gay, that’s always an option (and have izuku and katsuki grow up as actual bros, and actually be friendly to one another? what a shocker) - like, the two of them get sperm donors and are pregnant at the same time so the kids can be twins or something. and ofc you’d expect katsuki to be closest to mitsuki and for inko to be closest to izuku, but then to make it a TWIST add some great bonding between inko + katsuki and mitsuki + izuku!! i’ve never really seen any mitsuki + izuku bonding in stories before, so that’d be pretty cool

*

izuku gets hit by a villain’s quirk during a big villain attack when he’s 7, turning him part-cat. the villain dies during the attack, so they can’t erase his quirk’s effects - they’d have to surgically remove the ears and tail, or get an expensive quirk specialist in. izuku decides he likes being a nekomimi, so he keeps them and gets being part-cat officially registered as his quirk. he has better senses and agility, and he can talk to cats now i guess. also his eyes are cat eyes. he doesn’t pass the ua exam, so he goes into the general department instead, but he does really well in the sports festival and gets transferred into the hero course with shinsou. (this is all just because i need a valid excuse to make izuku have cat ears.)

some ‘future au’ ideas:

all of the pro heroes merch lines - deku’s ’t-shirt’ shirts, tokoyami’s edgy emo/goth hoodies, iida’s ingenium trainers, bakugou’s popping candy chocolate, todoroki’s own brand of scar cream, HAGAKURE’S CAMO COLLECTION OMG the possibilities are endless  

---i made hagakure’s camo for her bday drawing

(i use a strikethrough so i know which ideas i’ve used or posted anywhere. i think that once i put an idea on the internet, it’s probably free reign, so if you want to use any of these for fics or art go ahead. i’d just appreciate it is you could link back to me haha)

5 years after graduating from the General Studies department of UA, Hitoshi opened his own agency. As a private detective.

By the time he’s 25, he’s settled in and relatively comfortable with his career choice. So when his work phone rings one day and he’s still half-asleep he easily opens with, “Shinsou Detective Agency. Before you ask, I do not investigate cheating spouses or missing dogs and I do not screen potential employees for companies.” He paused. “I’ll investigate missing cats, though.”

The person on the other end took a harsh breath, like an almost-laugh, and responded gruffly, “Hm. Good to know if Jelly ever gets lost.”

-> aka shinsou is a PI and aizawa contacts him for help on a case. aizawa never sought out shinsou after the sports festival, being too busy with 1-a’s insane antics, and so shinsou went on to never become a hero. maybe he’s also a vigilante on the side? idk. anyway so yeah aizawa gives him temporary permission to use his quirk during the case. they investigate, blah blah, the point is that afterwards aizawa gets shinsou a licence and takes him on as a sidekick (the same way ingenium offered to koichi in vigilantes)

i have new ideas on the daily. this doc is just growing

keep in mind, i have given to you here only a few of the shortest ones. there are several huge paragraphs of full-au ideas (like where izuku has a quirk, and the entire story follows canon)

these are, ostensibly, ideas for fics that i never write because i’m lazy. but some of them i do end up using for art or comics, so... yeah. most of the comics i’ve posted were originally just little scripts in this doc. an example:

yamada and reformed!shirakumo are walking together, with coffees

shirakumo: so then i - oh, your phone’s wringing

(yamada’s ringtone is the nyancat song, and the contact name is ‘daddy’)

shirakumo: haha, you still call ur dad ‘daddy’? i thought you got over that in high school (taking a sip on the coffee)

yamada: (answering the phone, keeping eye contact with shirakumo) hey, shouta, what’s up?

shirakumo: (spits out coffee)

—- made this a comic on tumblr

damn this post is longer than i expected

whelp, i hope you liked it

His Majesty's Dark Queen Chap 3

Note: yeah, got me whole week to write this chap. It's like 4A.M in my country now, and I'm still typing :D Oh and I forgot to introduce the background of the series. Let's assume everything in this fanfic is just like the main series, except that Star doesn't erase magic in the end, okay? Good. Now, let's enjoy chapter 3 ^^

Previous | Next | AO3

“So, what's that all about?” In the end, Tania can’t just let her friend out of the bar, and because this time seems kinda serious. She gets Tom the “dumped-seat” then comfort him.

“About what?”

“The GIRL, man!! The GIRL! It must be a girl, who dumped you, so you were so sad like this! No, this time must be very serious. I have never seen you sad like this ever since… since… you broke up with that Nana…”

“It’s Jana.”

“…. That Jana. The weird lady from Erath, you said. Man, maybe I have never met your Starship and know about you two’s past, but I've heard enough about your Janna. You two were like… born for each other. What could be better suited for a demon, like a demon lover? You talked to me about Jana like this, Jana like that. You were so happy, I thought when I finally get a chance to met your girlfriend, is when I received the wedding invitation. But then you came here, told me that she broke up with you, and you was sad for a long time. I also had to take you to places like Amethyst Arcade or Quest Buy to make you feel better, even introduce you new girlfriend. It took you half a year to get over it.” Tania tried to sound dramatic. She stretched her voice, deliberately pressing, waving, rolling her eyes. Tom could not resist this, hugging his stomach and laughing non-stop. Tania is always a caring friend, she does not care about her image getting worse, every time Tom is sad, she always uses this way to comfort and make fun of Tom. And it works every time. That is the first step.

“Stop, Tania, stop. You crack me up!!!” Tom tries to stop laugh, “And… what makes you think this time is worst like that?”

“The eyes, my friend. You can try to look sad, try to look happy, but your eyes always tell me the truth. That’s the reason I make friends with you in the first place. Because there is no way a ‘heartless demon’ can have eyes like that. Your three eyes, especially this one,…” Tania pointed to her forehead, “are very honest. Outsiders might think every time you broke up, you sad the same way. But those eyes tell me when you really sad, or just annoyed.”

“This is the reason why sometimes I said I just got dumped, but you still kick me out?”

“Yes. Because your eyes said you just a little bit annoyed, so I just kick you out. No one can stand after see their friends broke up like… 4 or 5 times in one month, you know? It’s very annoying. I am your friend, not your mama, remember that.”

“I guess. But you are the only one left I can talk, literally. I have few friends, but only two of them are my BF. One is very busy with her life, I can’t just chat with her hours about my relationship like that…”

“And you think I can?”

“Tania, that’s Star. She’s my ex. Even now we are friends, but I still can’t talk with her about that stuff.”

“Good point. And what about another one? If I remember correctly, that’s a he, right? What his name again? Ma… Marcus…? No.. no… co… MARCO! Right, Marco. Why wouldn't you told to him? He is, well, a guy. Sure, he has a feeling for your Starship, but you said you are cool with that, and this thing is 5 years so far, and you two still be friends. Why not?” And there we go, step 2: Make Tom said the problem. Make he feels comfortable, then draw a way so he could go with the flow, says the problem so Tania can help him. Usually, this step took quite a lot of time, since Tom is just want drinking and whining, avoiding the problem, having to lure him to say it takes half a day. But this time, Tania did not expect Tom to speak from the beginning.

“The truth is…” Tom stopped talking. He closed his eyes, rubbed his face, took a deep breath, and sighed, seemingly pondering something extremely difficult to say. “The truth is… I'm here today has something to do with him.”

“Shit!” This is what Tania doesn't want to hear the most. “This is worse than I thought!” She thinks. In fact, Tania didn't really understand Tom's romantic relationships before the two knew each other. Tom didn't tell, and neither did Tania because she knew it was a sensitive issue. That great battle took many people away, some lost their loved ones, some lost their possessions, Tania herself struggled hard to rebuild her Lily Dog bar. As for Tom, he didn't tell much about it, but Tania sensed that he seemed to have lost himself in the great battle. He still looks normal, but Tom's change in such a short time cannot be due to the fact that he is trying to be an intern king, only love. From a kid who was grumpy all day with everything (despite trying to be normal), he turned into a calm gentleman, only talk to solve the problem. Maybe for Tania, Tom has always kept the attitude as when he first befriended her, warm and cheerful, but with strangers, his attitude and way of talking are different. He is calm and aloof when talking to them, even talk to them in a voice has a semi-sarcastic style imbued with nobility to normal people, like in the movie. “This love triangle thing is really troublesome!!” Look what it did to Tom, made he looks miserably.

Miss Star Butterfly is a trouble-maker. But this Marco boy is also one, too. Tania only knows him through Tom’s story. She gave a good impression with him at first. To Tom, he is a dear friend, the one who always helps him to keep calm, when he needs and has the same hobby with him. Even when he was dating Janna, the conversation between Tom and Tania always have Marco in it, more or less. If it wasn't for Tom dating only girls, Tania thought he had something with Marco. But then, Tom starts to open with her, starts to talk about his relationship with those two. It’s broke his heart to realize that he and Star can’t belong to each other anymore, and the fact that she and his best friend have “a thing”. He chooses to broke-up with her, told them he is cool with this, hopes them would go on with each other. Poor little one still tries to smile with those two. “I swear to God, I gonna kill that damn brat right…”

“Four days ago, me and he met. We drank and talked about the old days. I don’t know how, but we end up have sex.” Tom confessed.

The silence is in the air.

“Have sex… with who?” Take long enough for Tania to dare ask him again.

“With Marco.” He answered softly.

“Ho… ho… How?? How??” Tania can’t believe what she just hears.

“I don’t know. We were drunk, and… and… Love Sentence! Tania, it’s Love Sentence! Everything was dizzy. I'm pretty sure he took the initiative first, but it was me who did the last step. I mean, how could I not? He looked cute at that time. And honestly, I've wanted to do that to him for a long time...” Tom kept on babbling and dreaming about that night, unaware that Tania was having a huge shock at his side. “This can be true!” Tania denied, “If it’s true, then…” the whole thing about love triangle that she knew, the whole time, will completely different. She quickly squeezed his shoulders, turned him back to her, asking slowly: “Tom, dear! So, what are you saying, is you have feelings for him? For… that Marco boy?”

Tom did not answer immediately but looked directly at Tania. In his eyes filled with many things, there is heartache, there is love, there are concerns, feeling like about to spill out of the eyes.

"You DO have feelings for that boy." Tania did not need Tom to speak, his eyes answered for him. She let go of his shoulders, immersing herself in her thoughts. She knew Tom had suffered because of that relationship, she also blamed the other two for making Tom change himself so much like that. But what Tania can’t think to, even in her wildest dreams, Tom is indeed being hurt by that love, but not because the person he loves cheats on him with his best friend, it rather because he has feelings for that friend. But, for how long? Since when did he have that kind of feeling? Is it ever since that great battle? Or, worse, even earlier? She didn’t dare to think. How did her friend, after all, endure himself so he could suppress his emotions all those years? “Oh, Tom…” There are some tears in her eyes, she feels sorry for Tom. “And… and then what? What did he say? Is he said he hated you or something?”

“No. He doesn’t say anything. The next morning, we woke up. Then he ran away. I haven't said a word to him yet.”

“Wha… So you mean, you haven't spoken to Marco, like at all, since that night? Even just texting?” Oh no, he better be NOT.

“Yes… because I’m…”

“And… and you said you ARE the one who done it, right?”

“Yeah… Yes?”

“…”

“…”

The silence is in the air. Again.

“OMG! OMG! OMG! I make friends with a dumbass demon. OMG! OMG! OMG!” Tania muttering. “Tom, do you realize the seriousness of this?” She turned to stare at the demon. Tom became extremely confused by his friend's fast-changing attitude.

“Uhm… Tania? I… I do realize. So I must talk to you about this, then find out how to solve this problem…”

“No, you DON’T. Because if you do, you wouldn't wait until 4 days, then come to my place to ask me how to solve this problem. Tom, I know you have suffered greatly from this love, you are also very confused, but try to stand under that boy's perspective. Suddenly his best friend done that thing with him, and then the subject went silent without any explanation or inquiry for 4 days. If it were you, do you suffer?” Tania stopped, she should not go too deep. Saying more will only make things confusing. Tom endured that was enough. She patted his shoulder, then went out to settle the bar, giving him space to think for himself.

Tom was left alone. He took a deep breath, trying to calm his mind to think. None of this would have happened if that damn instinct didn't inspire him. But Tom knows, he can't blame all on instinct. Marco Diaz, that name also made him sleepless all day and night. From the beginning because of jealousy with Marco when he was a close friend of Star, until he knows that for the first time, he had made a close friend besides Star. He treasured this friendship very much because not everyone could stand his normal temperament. Tom treasured it so much that he didn't want to break it. At one point, he almost lost this friendship. Luckily, Tom tried to calm down, so nothing happens. But now that he thinks about it, if at that time, he passed that point, maybe everything will be better.

Tom took another deep breath, took up his courage, and opened the compact. Before going to see Marco, he needed to talk to this person first.

___________Marco’s POV___________

Marco's whole body was exhausted after that night, his head was hot, stomach still felt yoke and burning hot don’t know why, but these injuries are nothing compared to Marco's feeling right now.

“Tom, what is he doing right now? Why doesn't he call me? Is it ... he hated me because I had proactively kissed him first?” Marco kept muttering like that. That morning, he was embarrassed so he runaways, but he still wanted to see Tom again. He had hoped Tom would come to see him, scold him, or take pity on him, whatever. But he didn’t come. Marco felt extremely uncomfortable, wanted to cry but couldn’t because doing so only made his parents more worried. He had been lying in bed for 4 days, taking the excuse that he had a cold, taking some medicine, and then resting was fine. The discomfort in his abdomen became increasingly uncomfortable. The lower was getting hotter and burning, and sometimes the pain was throbbing so he had to bend over to hug his stomach. This discomfort continues even in dreams.

In the dream, he was swimming in a black sea without a shore. Above the black border is a blood-red moon, as red as the Blood Moon night that Tom once determined to invite Star to attend. Blood moonlight shone on the surface of the dark, turn one spot in the black sea into dark red. Marco hurriedly swam there, feeling that if he could swim there, he would be safe. But every time, every time he swam near that red spot, there was a hand holding him back. He tried to pull away, but that hand clung too tightly. When that thing saw him still trying to swim to the blood moon, it got angry, decided to drag him down. Marco could not breathe, that thing still pulled him further and further away from the red light, down to the bottom of the black sea. He tried to turn to look, but could only see three bright lights gleaming on the black seafloor. Then, he woke up.

He wanted to sleep, but if he slept he would have to go through that dream again. But if he didn't sleep, his body would collapse. Marco closed his eyes again, really determined, certain this time, he would win that light, to swim to the red light.

___________The Present___________

Tom crouched in the Star's bedroom at Butterfly Castle. Star is pacing in front of him. Her face was completely distorted, hard to describe the feelings of Star right now. Several times she turned to look at Tom, frowned, then turned away, muttering to herself, pacing the room.

“No! No! No! Tom, why? Why is this thing happen??” Eventually, Star stopped pacing, turning to ask Tom. “It’s only 4 days, Tom. 4 DAYS. Then you just called me, saying, ‘Oh hey, Star! I accidentally have sex with Marco on the evening of your birthday party and I have run away for like 4 days. What should I do now?’ WHAT SHOULD YOU DO? What should I say, you tell me?”

"Star. I don't need you to do much for me. It's just ... you heard, I haven't seen Marco for almost a week. And to be honest, I'm more scared now. Listen, you're the best friend of ours. As it turned out like this, having a friend like you with me was better than I go alone to see Marco. And to be honest, I didn't dare to imagine Marco's angry form. Maybe he's cursed and never wish to see me ever again. ”

“He better be! You deserve it! ” Star angry said.

“Star, I know it. I should have died hundreds of times. However, Starship ... " Tom stood up, holding Star's hand earnestly," ... Please, just this once. The truth is, I have feelings for Marco too.”

“You… do?”

“I ... I ... Do you still remember the day I said I wanna break-up with you? The truth is ... I discovered that I liked Marco before that, liked… a lot. But I know that you and Marco had something at the time, I couldn't say it, or else I would not only hurt you two but also lose both my best friends. ”

“Oh… Tom…”

“So at that time, I made the best choice is to break up with you and encourage him to be with you. But Starship, I didn't expect him to choose not to come with you. He even decided to return to Earth, finish his studies, and live a normal life. For years, I tried not to say anything. I'm like a madman, trying to find a relationship like our old relationship, hoping that thanks to it, I could forget about Marco, about my love for him. But in the end, the new left faster than the previous one. And during those years, Marco was always single. I thought I had a chance. Just unexpectedly, things were happening so quickly... So fast, I didn't know how to handle them."

"Tom ..." Star softened, hugging his friend tightly. She was too heartless, didn’t realize Tom's feelings were so confused. Five years, neither long nor short, but enough to torment a person into crazy. She still knew that Tom's relationships were usually not last long, and she used to worry about him, but come to think about that… “Tom, about your feeling with Marco, is Janna know any about that? Is that the reason you two broke up?” Every time Star have a chat with her girls, and if she told about Tom’s relationship lately, Janna just laughs and telling that he deserved that, nothing to worried. At first, Star thought Janna was still angry with him because of the breakup thing, but after that, Janna still met Tom when the whole meeting and didn’t show any discomfort. That always confuses Star.

“I… I don’t know… Everything between me and Janna is fine, can say it’s perfect. The two of us enjoy doing weird things to her liking. To be honest, she’s the only one that made me think, maybe I can move on with, and someday, I can over Marco. I even prepared everything, told my parents, introduce her to those two. Everything was so smooth, but suddenly one day, she called me out to talk, then said nothing, just punched me in the eye… Then… after that… she said she wants to break-up… She doesn’t even answer my phone. If… if it’s true, that she knows about my feeling for Marco…” Tom held his head, not sure what to say. “Oh my god, I’m such a jerk!”

“Tom! We can talk about Janna later. I know she, if she can still show up at our group meetings without complaining, it means she wasn’t too angry with you. You still can find and apologize to her later. Now, MARCO!”

Encouraged by the Star, Tom felt that he was calm. He thanked Star, saying, “Thank you, Starship. You really are the best friend a demon king can ask for. Can this good friend follow me now to Marco's house to talk with him? ”

She smiled at him.

___________About 2 hours later___________

“ARGHHH! Can you just hurry up? How the hell does your dressing take two hours to complete?”

“Relax, Star! Bathing, choosing clothes, beautifying yourself need time. Not to mention I'm about to talk to Marco. I want to be beautiful in front of him.” As he said that, Tom remodeled his tie, though it looked perfect.

“Ohmygod! Don’t tell me, that EVERY TIME our group meeting, you always like this. No wonder you always look so… fancy like that. Turn out you want to flirt Marco ~~” Star pulled Tom while giggling teasing him.

“Star!!!!” Although it is true, but being so explicitly made Tom blush. His cheek turns to purple quickly.

Star still giggled, pulled Tom to Marco's door, and quickly rang the bell. She turned, instructed him. "Listen, maybe Rafael or Angie will open the door, just let me talk to them. While I was talking to them, you said you had something to tell Marco and…."

“Creak.”

The door opened, but behind it wasn't Rafael or Angie, but Marco. Neither Star nor Tom had expected it, since the one who opened the door was still one of the Diaz couples, they love to have someone visit them. Marco looked extremely tired, his red eyes looked like sleeplessness, even the puffiness became black. He was very pale and lethargic, but his hair was still neat, and in his arms, Marco was holding a cup of coffee, Star guessed that he had just washed his face and was drinking coffee to regain consciousness. Marco pulled back his bathrobe so he wouldn't get cold, intentionally not paying attention to Tom who was standing next to him, only smiling at Star: "Star! What are you doing here?"

“Oh, hi Marco! Uhmm… WE are here to talk. Can we… come in?” Star tried to smile brightly.

Marco glanced coldly at Tom. His brown eyes once full of affection are now as cold as ice. It hurts Tom's heart, he feels more guilty for ignoring him for 4 days.

“Sure, why not? Come on in, it’s cold out there.” Marco stepped aside, inviting the two to go inside. Both of them noticed Marco's cold attitude, but still went inside the house. The heat transfer between cold and hot made them shudder.

“Marco! Who is that?” It’s Rafael, resounded from the kitchen.

“It’s Star! She has something to tell you and mom!”

“Is she? Then tell her to sit down and wait a minute. We are in the middle of something!”

Both Tom and Star were amazed at Marco's attitude. Marco is a lousy liar, if not basically he can't lie. But just now, Marco lied extremely smoothly, even choosing an extremely natural reason without any loopholes. The two were not yet over surprised, Marco returned, coolly speaking. “Star, you're here waiting for my parents to come out and talk. And Tom, I need to talk to you.” Then he turned upstairs, seemingly unwilling to hear any more words

“Okay, we know for sure that Marco is extremely angry at you now. You go up there, trying to console him. Acting very sorry for the ‘incident”, trying to appease as much as possible. If he takes the bait, you go ahead. If he gets really angry, remember to call me, I'll go up there.”

Tom nodded, then gathered his courage, went upstairs. Tom has never felt so scared like now, as if he's now fighting thousands of monsters, not going up and talking to Marco. He tried to reassure himself, hypnotizing himself that he was just going to talk. Ah, wish it was just a simple talk. This conversation means a lot to him. It was not just his own show of affection for Marco over five years, but also its result. If Marco agrees, then he and Marco can finally be together. But if not, then he feared that even friendship would be gone. Who would accept that his best friend has feelings for him, and then willfully did such a thing like that to him?

Tom took a deep breath, then turned the door handle. He saw Marco standing with his back to him, his face turning to the window. He felt Marco was skinny and gloomy than before. He sighed, closed the door, and said his line: "Marco..." But before he could say anything, Marco quickly turned around and walked in front of Tom. And then, he leaned up, wrapped his arms around the back of Tom's head, and kissed him.

Tom was very surprised. He could not guess this was coming. Marco is proactively kissing him. His full lips are plastered on Tom's lips, soft, cool, and extremely real. Tom was overwhelmed, but he quickly regained consciousness, his hands quickly hugging Marco’s waist, picking him up to press the kiss deeper. Tom could smell the scent of his shampoo and shower gel, and felt the bitter coffee he just drank as they both kissed. It all made Tom infatuated. He leaned against the wall completely, one hand lifted Marco's butt, one hand pulled his leg around Tom’s waist, then kissed him passionately.

“Tom, do you love me?” Marco stopped the kiss, but his forehead rested on Tom's, their lips only a few centimeters apart. Tom looked into his eyes. It was not as cold as it used to be, it was glittering with emotion, reflecting Tom's image in it. Tom felt revived, the whole body energized. He hurriedly kissed small kiss on Marco’s face and lips, answering: "Yes, Marco. I love you. Love you very much. Love you till the day I die."

“Is that so? So if I want anything, you can give it, right?”

“Yes, anything, even my heart.” Tom hurriedly answered. Marco giggled, rubbing his ear. "You goofy, I don't need your heart." He gently kisses back, “I just need you to love me, with all your souls!”

“Yes, I will.” Tom leaned over, kissing Marco once more time.

___________Down stair___________

Star sat opposite the Diaz couple, holding the teacup they were invited to and extremely confused. If Marco was said to be a lousy liar, then Star lied worse, the truth proved that. Star tried to smile, asking some silly questions to the couple. She was hoping Tom would comfort Marco soon to get herself out of this situation, or she was afraid she might flush it out. But before she could tell the truth as she feared, Rafael changed the subject. He looked confused and worried when asked Star. “Star, on your birthday night, did something happen to Marco?”

“Wh… What~~? No… No! Nothing happens! Everyone is fine. No one gets trouble or something… hahahaa…Ha!” Star negated in a soaring high voice. “Oh shit! Oh shit! Help! Tom, hurry up!!!” She tried to keep calm but her forehead was still sweating, even a sip of tea she just drinks couldn’t make her throat less dry.

“Is that so?” Rafael sighed. He looked hesitant, even giving Angie a look when he saw her nod, he turned to Star and continued. “Star, we really don't want to say this, for fear you will be worried. But before we start, we just want to say that everything is okay, everything is under control. No need to be overly worried.”

“Yes?” Star realized the strangeness of the two.

“It’s about Marco. He has severe depression.”

“Severe… depression?”

“Simply put, it is a disease caused by long-term stress. It causes patients to have trouble sleeping, tired, irritable, and especially thinking about committing suicide.” Rafael explained. “At first, the two of us just thought that Marco was not used to normal life, maybe it would be fine later. But he is getting more and more strange. He often has insomnia, cries often, and the teacher at school often complains about his distracted attitude. And then one morning, Angie found him holding a razor blade in front of the mirror, right at his neck as if about to cut down. Although Angie had stopped Marco at that moment, and he didn't seem to recognize or remember that suicide, but we were forced to take him to a psychiatrist.”

"The doctor concluded he had severe depression." Angie burst into tears, trying to hold back her tears but unable to. “At that time, we did not know what to do. Oh, our mijo! Marco promised us he would try to get through, telling us not to tell this to anyone else. But how can it be overcome so easily? He had been miserable for a long time, only when he went to meet his friends, he seems to have returned to normal. It took more than two years for Marco to no longer have the thought of committing suicide. But the depression is still there. We were so afraid that one day, he couldn’t think and then commit suicide like that morning.”

“Two years? That… the time when Tom and Janna...?”

“For that reason, we forced him to stay with us, even though he went to college now. Maybe with his friends, he said that he wanted to save up for student’s loan, but actually it was because of his depression that we couldn't stop watching him.”

“Lately he's been better than before. We were extremely excited, thinking that he might have returned to being old Marco. But, four days ago, after your birthday party, it became strange again. Even though he told me he only had a cold, he tried not to cry and sleep well, but why didn't we realize that.”

“That why, we want to ask you, do you know what happened that night?”

Being looked at by both Diaz and the couple, Star felt like a criminal being questioned. She couldn't keep her word, sorry Tom, but she had to say it.“Uhm… Actually… That night…”

“STAR!” Glossaryck from nowhere naturally appeared right next to Star, screaming her name.

“AHHHHHHHH! Cheese and crackers! Glossaryck?! What are you doing here?” Star feels confusing. A few days ago, Glossaryck suddenly said he has something important to deal with, then disappeared from that moment. But now, he suddenly appeared here.

“No time to talk! Where is Tom? We need to save him. NOW!”

“Tom? What are you talking about? He is fine. He with Marco now. The two of them were talking about their problems…” Star quickly turned to the Diaz “… at the previous four days. But it’s like 10 minutes has passed, and there was no sound of fight or argument, so I think we're okay, it's all right. You two can be chill. Marco will soon…”

“No, Star! Marco IS the problem.” Glossaryck protested.

“What are you…”

BOOMM!!!

A loud bang, coming from upstairs. The four of them stopped talking and quickly ran upstairs. Star went upstairs first, and quickly ran to Marco's room, she realized that loud noise came from the direction of his room. But when she got to the door, she felt something amiss. The door of Marco's room was still closed, but there were cold, chilling breezes coming through the door, along with a frightening green light. Star recognized that light.

“Star, you better be prepare beforehand.” Glossaryck flew close, reminding Star. Star took a deep breath, then turned the door handle.

Behind the door was a scene, that perhaps until the end of her life, Star can not forget. Tom was lying near the door, unmoving, his pale lilac skin even paler, almost becoming white, as if he were dead. The room was disturbed by a hurricane, everything was lifted by the wind, scattered in the air. The roof has a very big hole, snow poured everywhere. Looking up, Star sees something even more terrifying. It was Marco, float in midair. But that was not normal Marco, it was a monster with Marco's face. His eyes are completely black, from the pupil to the sclera. Marco grew a small horn on the right, which resembled Tom's. There was a crescent moon shaped magic mark on his cheek, but it was not like what she had ever seen. Marco's magic mark is shown in bright red, but now it shows in the formidable green of dark magic.

“Mar…Marco?!” She couldn't believe it was her friend.

“Oh, princess Butterfly! We meet again.” "Marco" smirked, responding softly.

“Be careful, Star. He was no longer Marco.” Glossaryck appears, alerting Star. He also quickly closed the door to prevent Rafael and his wife. Can't let them see this situation. “So I guess you were the cause of the disturbance in the Realm of Magic, right?”

“The Realm of Magic has its own consciousness, Glossaryck. You can't blame us because it's been unstable lately. It simply... is welcoming a new member of it. A Prince! Prince of Darkness!”

“Marco” laughed maniacally. And, he began to change again. Two pairs of huge wings sprouted from his back. It has color of purple and green, with skull and hypnotic patterns on it. He also grows 4 more arms. He looked exactly like one of the Butterfly members when they transformed. “Marco” tried flapping the butterfly's wings and pleased to see it flap naturally.

“You… Who are you? Why did you take Marco? Give him back to me!”

“Ouch! It’s hurt, princess. After all, you did KILL us! Remember?”

As if something awakened, Star was scared, unable to believe in the truth. “You… you… Toffee?!” It can’t be! It can’t be! Toffee is dead!

“Close enough! Actually, it takes more than just one spirit to get this form, you know. But luckily, thank to you, this boy had absorbed enough evil spirits. But still, it takes a little more energy to convert. And then, you brought that guy to me, just in time.” He pointed to Tom, who was lying motionless on the ground, laughing. “Oh, men! I have nothing to say. You are just like my guardian angel. Tricking him is really too easy, it was like taking candy from a child's hands. All that because he loves 'me'! Hahahahahaha….!”

Star felt unprecedented despair and regret. If that's what he said, was that her fault, so Marco turned into that? And also because of that, so Tom got involved? Did she harm her loved ones?

“No! Give him back to me!” Star screamed, transformed, and took the magic wand, rushing towards “Marco”. But before she could get close, she was repelled by a wave of dark magic, shot back.

“Oh, Princess Butterfly. Although we would love to stay here to have a little chat with you, but unfortunately, we have to go. See you soon!” Marco smiled tenderly, then created a portal. Star has never seen such a gate. It was similar to the gate she went to the Realm of Magic, but instead of the inherent color, it was black and green. “Oh, one more thing. Send Tom a kiss for me. He really loves me with ALL his souls. Well, half of it is enough. Hahahahaha… Bye~~!” Marco chuckled, then disappeared behind the portal.

As soon as Marco disappeared, the whirlwind in the air gradually dissipated, the furniture gradually lowered, scattered everywhere. Star sat motionless on the ground, unable to believe what he had just heard or seen. She just sat there, staring into the air, enduring every wave of snow and wind blowing in her face. Outside, Rafael and Angie, despite being prevented by Glossaryck's magic to prevent them from entering or hearing anything, but they were too nervous, standing outside and try to knock the door.

Glossaryck sighed. He removed the magic from the door, letting them enter. Upon entering the room, both of them were rendered speechless by the scenery. But before they can be saying anything, Glossaryck took the initiative to say it first. “Star, we need to go now. Bring Tom and the Diaz family back to Mewni. I'm afraid this is not gonna end well.”

_______________

From this chapter I will post on tumbler too. Because the previous 2 chapters are too ... hahaha...

ask dump pt. 1

1.  You haven’t sent me this! Im just gonna do color blobs because i know people get freaked out my blood. keep in mind i know almost nothing about blood chemistry so all the reason behind these color choices are bs lmao @drops-of-moonlights​

2. lol alright alright twist my arm why don’t you (sarcasm i actually want to do one lol) i’’l get on that in the next week or so

3. hmmmm so i haven’t actually watched the episode but from what i’ve gathered from the fandom icy was a princess with a younger sister when a witch showed up turned her sister into a fox and froze her entire planet? so like. first of all, this was entirely pulled out of rainbows ass, but that doesn’t mean i don’t like it?  if they had wanted to reflect Bloom’s story icy should have been the younger sister, but with her as the older sister i don’t think of it as reflecting Bloom but Daphne, and honestly that’s the more interesting choice from my perspective. Like i know people are partial to having fire and ice parallels but its less of an obvious paralell and more of a “what if” What if Daphne hadn’t been able to protect Bloom? Would she have turned out like Icy? If Icy had successfully protected her sister would she have lost her life? would she have been forced off the planet? would she have attended alfea and not cloud tower? Where were their parents? who was the witch lady? why did icy choose to become a witch when that was the source of all her trauma? like i don’t really give a crap about her being a princess(i guess its cool?) i just want to dive into the relationships and the effects they have on people.

4. omg yes earth is the USA of Magix.  and Magic super weapons are a TERRIFYING concept. Like thats probably what obsidian and the realix would be considered? but those were both made accidentally (in my version) so something like a nuclear bomb made with magic on purpose is indeed controversial. (but on a less serious note, imagine the memes about earth) 

5. Yes i am! I just haven’t gotten to them yet

6. THE WHOOSH!!!!!! THE DRAMATIC FUR LINING!!!!! THE POTENTIAL FOR THIS WHOLE AESTHETIC!!!! only to be a weird ass version of sirenix/harmonix. so disappointing. @hug-all-platelets

7. ooooh nice

8. nah. first problem is that Aidan has already grown into his magic fully, adding the dragon fire on top would cause some issues( its safest to pass it on to an unborn baby where it will grow in along with their core magic). second is that Adian isn’t part of the Domino Royal family and the dragon flame (and technically the shadow flame as well) is part of that. Third, Ophelia is like..... weirdly proud that she has the dragon flame? like you know when you have a cold and you hate having a cold and you feel awful and have to take medicine but you love that you don’t have to go to school like your non-sick siblings? its like that

9. ooooh that would be super cool!

10. Thank you! @knightsofeclipse

11. so among the winx its the YAY! group(bloom, stella, flora) and the WTF group(aisha, musa, and tecna) and then the besties Stella/bloom, aisha/flora, tecna/musa. Outside of that, Tecna and flora actually get along pretty well. and of course musa and aisha. In the specialists the gym bros are riven, brandon, nabu, (and eventually nex), and the problem solvers sky, timmy, helia (and sort of roy) between the two groups, helia and bloom do life drawing together sometimes. Musa sometimes works with Helia on her lyrics because of his poetry angle. Brandon and flora are basically the moms of their groups so they’ll get tea if the other ever has to vent. Timmy and stella will sometimes DIY clothing together (stella for the FASHION and timmy because thats how he was raised lol) Riven and aisha have a friendly sometimes not so friendly competition and come up with challenges for each other. Sky and Stella hang out and bitch about being royalty with strict dads’. Sky also wants to implement more technology on eraklyon (they’re fairly tradtional rn) so he and tecna will talk shop sometimes. Nex and Flora can hang out and get along rly well but literally nobody understands HOW because they’re so different. Nex can also hang out with musa but that only has two outcomes: united chilled out apathy or BLOODSHED. Timmy and musa also like to mix music together as timmys actually pretty good on a launchpad type thing, they have a youtube channel.

12. i can’t remember what i had it as originally so i guess its just zhen?

13. I might eventually do Stella’s monster form! For valtor’s mark, its a very subtle mind control thing and power up for the victim. It created a link between the victims and valtor, allowing him to plant thoughts in their head and transfer them a little bit of his magic so they’re more powerful. @inversway

14. Thank you!

15. I’ll probably end up drawing the nymphs eventually! 

16.  I’ll probably end up drawing the nymphs eventually! and no male magic users have a system more like witches where they have different names based on where they source their magic and how they channel it. only fairies have “transformations”

17. i think its just my goal to make everybody gay for all the winx ladies and i am crushing it

18. Thank you! and yeah, Diaspro did a lot wrong but so did sky and honestly? so did Bloom. I think the reason people like to go the “diaspro did nothing wrong” route is because sky is pretty dick-ish in the first two seasons, and bloom is already the center of attention so we side with diaspro because we like an underdog. but diaspro is also a walking trope combo of mean girl and crazy ex so we have to erase that in order to like her the way we want to. idk i just wanted to make one of the villain girls (who all get the short end of the stick most of the time)  redeemable with out erasing her flaws and mistakes(like rainbow did with selina)

#1/?

I'm kinda planning of writing a Percy Jackson fic? So excuse my rant here of what I have planned I just kinda wanna have it written out and given some feedback hopefully before I really start. Some stuff might be triggering for some people. Including drugs, alcohol, rape, abuse, and self hate so far. Percy isn't a go happy guy, and hasn't been for awhile in the books. Btw REALLY LONG OMG.

Percy is gonna be a bit younger because I for some reason wanna have it cross over with marvel. Sorry. And ship him with Peter. Also sorry but not really.

The first changes is gonna be with Sally and a little bit of how she raised Percy. She teaches him of mythology and languages because she also knows many and knows it'll do him good because they're in the same area of where Greek is commonly used. Italian, Crotian, and Romanian, her family went around and had good taste. I wanna have Sally be a Roman legacy but I'm not sure of who just yet.

The second chapter would be his early preteens and his love/addiction of blue food. Kinda innocent and his relation of blue foods and his love for his Ma. As he grows older and Gabe gets in the picture his addiction of blue foods changes to drugs and alcohol from Gabe threatening them. He wants them to depend on them and him. The rape starts from the beginning of Gabe's relationship/marriage with Sally to be honest. Maternity rape is real and I doubt she always meant yes but would say it so he wouldn't hurt her more. He definitely would threaten the other (Sally / Percy) of harm of the other (Percy / Sally) if they were to misbehave. He'll eventually get himself out of it and help Sally recover while they're still stuck with Gabe. He goes back to loving blue food and uses it as a replacement whenever he has a craving.

The third would be his experience with school. Dyslexia and ADHD shows up right when he starts and some teachers reach out to Sally on ways to "fix him". She doesn't wanna have him depend on medication, definitely happy with that when Gabe happens, so he suffers with explaining " yes I have ADHD and dyslexia, no I'm not making it up to not pay attention" to everyone in every school he ever goes to. Some schools he has good teachers that believe him and wanna help him find ways to learn with his different types of dyslexia because of course he'll have more than what's common in a demigod. Sometimes he wouldn't get expelled from school but would have to deal with a suspension and have to find a way to hide it from Sally and Gabe. He learns better with facial reading and lying throughout these years. He'll have good relations with history, language, tech, and music teachers. Also the lunch and security and front desk people. He got along better with people older then him than people in his class.

The next might just be various moments with Gabe and his friends with either Sally saving him, one of Gabe's okay friends helping him, him turning things for the worse before he learns "the system*1", or with Gabe winning. Includes him learning how to apply makeup to hide bruises, lying about marks and cuts, how to heal stuff quicker, getting rid of smells, sewing, packing clothes tightly, and emergency numbers and places. Thoughts of running away and making things better for his Ma. Self hate and doubt of his reasons for living any longer. Decides running away would be better but he can't bring himself because he loves, is loyal to, her. That's brings MONEY MAKING. I grew up with people making money selling anything in school so he will too and will market off of this for any emergency because Gabe always takes his and Sally's money. Selling simple things like pencils and gum, later cool erasers that teachers confescated that he stole in return. Eventually he had to stop and find new ways to make money, and what's one quick way in New York? Drugs. NO!!.

*1 the system is based on what I learned growing up. If I had a good morning then I'll have a terrible night, Terrible morning then a good night. But sometimes you had to look for signs when it might just be a bad day overall. Conversations, how the person is acting (agitated, short temper, not patient), moody with everything from; lights, sounds, smells, how things are organized, nothing is good enough, privacy. The slightest thing that was good meant nothing when that person had more control of how your day would go. Of course this is my experience personally and I'ma add this in this fic.

He goes about using his talents with music to make some money. He can't risk Gabe, his friends, or even sally recognizing him so he always hides himself and would freestyle on the violin or guitar that he is able to keep at school because he's part of band. It keeps his away from home till Sally is out of work. He got into music because it was always calming to him and helps him concentrate. Sally was able to get him a chance to learn some before Gabe stopped them. Sometimes if there's a piano he'll play that too. Once he's makes money he carefully and reluctantly uses some for better equipment such as speakers and a microphone. His friendship with Peter is helpful with making it easy to bring around or stash at his place once he drops out of band or doesn't even joins his new schools band.*2. They would sometimes go out and just be dumb boys and fool around, Peter for fun and Percy for future possible survival and fun. Who can I connect with that will give me a discount? Who is less attentive of their stock? Where does the best wallets come from? Who accepts homeless and when? Libraries?

*2 this goes with my headcannon of Percy having more power, specifically pertaining to Sirens. Overall his voice is pleasing to listen to. When he's young it's nothing exceptional and are expecting someone to try and make him famous but as he grows up and sings more and gets more comfortable his voice is more smooth and silky. The mood of the songs can also affect people listening and draws people's attention and usually leads to him having people crowd around him whenever he's performing. He sometimes works with Peter with him dancing. He doesn't typically do pop songs since he likes rock music more so he'll change songs to him mood and tempo more fitting to what he enjoys.

He meets Peter when he and Sally are recovering. To disguise their time using money for drugs they'll go around walking or making up for lost time. She treats Percy as a silent thank you to a trip to the aquarium in Queens. There he meets Peter who is recovering from his traumatic friendship with Skip. They make quick friends and Sally and May and Ben make plans because they haven't seen their kid be this happy in a long time.

He becomes insomniac pretty early on even before the horrors of being a demigod. Someone once broke in their apartment and Gabe took it out on them so now he's even more sensetive to any sounds he hears at night. Either from his Ma crying, Gabe and his friends, or nightmares keeping him up. He usually sleeps under his bed because of Gabe putting his stuff on his bed and trashing his room. He'll wake up and go under the blankets when he hears Sally's footsteps coming to his room to not worry her.

Going to school is a blessing and a curse because that means no Gabe but that also means no Sally sadly. He constantly has to make a choice be happy for now? Or prepare for when that happiness goes away later. Meaning, do I hang out with Peter or do I go and make money street performing. Do I go to a school far from home so that I don't have to see Gabe but not see Sally, but that means she won't have to worry.

Once he finds out he's a demigod imagine all the self hate he gets. Any possible talents he thought he had. Anything that made him him, his love of blue, the sea, his features ( sure Sally would say he looks like his father he hoped he still had something that was from her, something that was just him ). But nope it all connects to Poseidon. Everything he likes and was confident about came from him. He wasn't anything special. He was just made to be used for their wars and fights and prophecy since they can't be involved but they don't wanna die from at the same time.

He knows of mythology with the help of his small closest group of friends and family, not what's taught at camp. He treats Medusa kinder and begs her to understand why he needs to continue and relates to her pain and apologies for what his birth father did to her. She allows him to kill her for a way to get rid of his pain Gabe. At camp he puts on a different kind of mask because he has no idea who he is at the beginning. A demigod? What the fuck?? What does that mean for him then? He's lost so he dumbs himself down. He has street smarts so he needs to get a layout of the place and the people. What's the stereotypes of groups. Who's the outliers. Where can I be me and with who. With Clarisse he hides what experience he has with fighting to seem weaker, the talk of prophecy can't be good and he didn't want anything with it. And with the talk of prophecy from the girl with blonde princess curls, and he feels used throughout their journey for a bit because this is what she wanted isn't it? To go out in the world and use her brain for better things. He's worried that she'll be like this onwards that this friendship is temporary just for her gain. Thankfully she stays. Watching his mother "die" from the Minotaur hurts him terribly because of course it's gonna be his fault that she dies. When he falls from his fight against Ecihdina and Chimera it pushes him to embracing the water side of him more and look tried gettingcontrol of it. Although the trap set by Hephaestus is rigged it doesn't push for Aphrodite to ship Percy with Annabeth. She can see he has doubt of even friendship and she stays respectful of that. Not everyone can cope with grief with romance. He meets Nico and Bianca at the casino but isn't able to pull them out. He doesn't make the connection till the next time he meets them. His loyalty brings him to the underworld wanting his mother back and his growing loyalty to the camp with the date drawing near for the solstice. He knew Hades couldn't be at fault and explaining so to him and Persephone builds his future relationship with them. His fight against Ares is helped by Posedion but also his growing anger of him wanting to endanger his friends. Luke still betrays everyone and everyone knows. He returns to his mom and Peter and life goes on.

Okay this a part one for a planning rant I'm going to sleep now

When Love Walks In - Chpt 8

Reblog to get this great love story out there.  It’s just lifting off...Enjoy the ride!  

Chpt 8 - Auston Gets Dr Quinn Alone

2869 Words

“Hey Auston, what’s going on?”  Dr Quinn approaches his bed and sits beside him in the chair.  

He just sits, staring off, thinking of what he can say.

“You can talk to me about anything, Auston.  I will try to help you if you tell me your concerns.”

He grabs his whiteboard and writes, “I want this all to be over, to get out of here and back to my life the way I knew it.”

“Yes.  I get that Auston.  Honestly, I understand.  But it should only be a couple more days till you will be able to breathe on your own if you continue with your ‘Rock Star’ ways.”  She smirks at him and tilts her head to get him to look at her.  She draws a smile and blush out of him.  He feels like he’s back in high school again with a school boy crush.  

Dr Quinn continues, “Then we will be able to get you out of Intensive Care, get you out of the hospital and start focusing on your voice and your physical fitness.  Your breathing capacity will have to wait till you have completely healed and you’ve had an opportunity to get your conditioning back.  So yes, as I’m sure you’re figuring out, this is going to be a game of patience.  But I’m sure you’ve had to exercise patience in getting yourself into the NHL.  I’m sure you can remember doing that?”

Auston nods yes.

“Did it work out in the end?” She asks, knowing the answer.

“Till a puck smashed my throat”, he writes with a sarcastic smirk.

“Ha!  Yes.  Sadly, that’s true.  But I bet you went through the long game of huge challenges and struggles that you had to rise above to get to the point…,” she pauses looking for the right words.  “…Where you got to take that puck to your throat”, Dr Quinn grins as she teases the last part, looking for a reaction.

Auston can’t help but chuckle and smile at what she just said.  She gets me.  She’s cool, he thinks.

“From what I have heard, it looks like you handled all of that preparation for the NHL really well.”

Curious, Auston needs to know, so he writes, “What did you hear?”  

“Just that you made it to the NHL, against some pretty big odds, coming from the sunbelt, I understand”, Dr Quinn answers.

Oh, so that’s all she knows, he thinks.

“Do you like the Leafs? Do you watch games?”  He writes, trying to find out what she might know about him.

“To be completely honest, Auston I have not been following the Leafs.  I’ve been preoccupied with my career for many years.  But I do know they’re a hockey team AND I have nothing against them if that’s what you’re getting at”, she jokes.

Auston picks up his marker and writes “LOL!” and smiles at Dr Quinn’s joke.

Dr Quinn laughs.

Auston writes, “Oh, so glad you have nothing against us.  LMAO! I can gift you tickets to a game when I get back playing?  It’s the least I could do.”

“That sounds like something I wouldn’t hate.”  Dr Quinn smiles.

“Oh, wow!  You sound so into it.  You do know that people actually pay big bucks to go to Leafs’ games, right?”  He shows her his board, shaking his head and smiling.

“Yes, of course.  I would like to watch you play sometime, Auston. I’ve heard good things”,  Dr Quinn attempts to reassure him.

He can’t help himself. He shakes his head, grinning and writes, “Good things!  Ha! OMG!  You’re so funny!  So you didn’t know who I was when you were operating on me?”

Dr Quinn is starting to think this guy is a bit full of himself.  She makes a note to herself that she should have a look into what he is all about.  She knows he is in the news, that there are tons of people concerned about him and there is a shrine outside the hospital, but she also knows that hockey and all professional sports are a huge deal in Toronto, so any good player would get that kind of attention.

I should Google him when I get a chance, she thinks.

Dr Quinn tells him, “No. The attending staff that night just informed me that you were an NHL hockey player injured in a playoff game. Then after surgery, they told me your name, but I had only heard it in the context that the Leafs were lucky to get you.”

“How old are you, if you don’t mind me asking?”  He writes.

“Ha!  Auston!  You are pretty bold, aren’t you?”  She laughs nervously.

“Sorry.  You don’t have to answer.  I was just curious.  Besides you already know a lot about me”,  He writes back.

“No, to be honest, I don’t know much about you, other than medically speaking.  I’m telling you the truth when I say I’ve been living under a rock of medical studies for years.  I was actually just thinking that, by the sound of things, I should probably look into this ‘Auston Matthews’ guy.  You’ve got me curious, thinking I must be in the presence of a pretty amazing star”, she says half teasing.

Auston is embarrassed. He writes on his board, “Oh man, I feel like an asshole for coming across as cocky.”  He then wipes his board.  “Sorry, I’m not used to people not knowing who I am, in hockey-obsessed Toronto, I mean”, He writes and wipes again.  “I am actually just a 27-year-old guy, raised in Arizona, blessed with a supportive family, great coaches, athleticism, fast reflexes and good hand-eye coordination. I applied myself and have been very lucky.”  

He is running out of room on the whiteboard, so he shows her and cleans the board.  He continues, “I’ve achieved pretty good success and play for a big deal team that makes a big deal out of me.”  

He cleans the board again and adds, “But I’ve never won a Cup, can’t breathe on my own, can’t talk, and never saved a life.  So look no further than yourself, cause you’re the star in this room.”  He erases again and ends with, “Oh, and you’re gonna have to get me a bigger whiteboard.”  He gives a cheeky smile as he holds up the board.

Dr Quinn laughs. “Ha!  Very funny!  Oh, Auston, I could get you a bigger whiteboard, but I plan on getting you talking as soon as possible.  Seriously though, thank you for sharing with me a bit about you.  I’m glad to know you better.”  She doesn’t know what else to say but definitely feels that he has just endeared himself to her.

“So I understand you’ve become a very successful doctor in a short period?”  Auston enquires.

“One might say that”, she answers shyly.

“You must be proud of yourself”, He adds.

“Well, I’m happy that I was able to get where I am, sooner than later, so that I can do what I have dreamed of doing which is to make a difference for people in medical crisis like yourself”,  she answers.

“My parents told me about your rise, and it sounds like I am fortunate to have you as my doctor. Thank you, for all the hard work you put in so that you can be here today to help me”, Auston writes.

“Oh, Auston, thank you for that!  I’m really happy that I can be here to help you.  You could say for me, helping you was like getting into the playoffs.  But getting your voice back; that will be my Stanley Cup.”

“Look at you using sport’s analogies, Dr Q!” He writes, smiling and opens his mouth to emphasize shock.

“Yeah, I kinda surprised myself there.”  She responds, laughing.

“They told me what happened to your boyfriend and said that inspired you to do what you are doing now. That’s a pretty amazing story”, Auston writes.

“I suppose so.  I needed to make something good come out of a tragic situation.  I’m assuming that there was something that started you on your path to becoming an NHL player”, Dr Quinn queries.

Auston writes, “Yeah, I fell in love with the speed and skill of the game.  I bonded over hockey with my dad and my uncle, Billy.  My uncle died when I was about four.  My dad was pretty torn up since they were very close. It was hard to see him like that. I suppose I wanted to make my Dad happy again by doing well in something and honour my uncle.  I’m also highly competitive, which I attribute to me being a middle child.  Always fighting for the attention, I guess.  I’ve no idea why I just told you that.”  Auston looks up at Dr Quinn, to gauge her reaction.  He’s almost expecting her to leave the room, turned off by this guy who is not as cool as he is trying to appear.  He’s disappointed in himself, slipping up and letting her see behind the curtain.  He’s embarrassed.

Sensing his regret over his disclosure, Dr Quinn tries to reassure him.  “Well, that was refreshingly insightful and honest, Auston.  I’m actually flattered that you would share that with me.  Please don’t regret telling me that.  I’m actually impressed that you can see yourself for who you are and that you trust me, to tell me such things.  From what I have observed in life, everyone has the fundamental need to be heard, seen and valued.  Some just go about it more boldly than others.”

“Thank you.”  Auston writes as he smirks shyly.  His heart is overflowing with affection for this woman who stands before him.

“I’m sorry about your Uncle Billy, Auston.  How did he die?”  She asks.

“CF”,  He writes.

“Ah, a breathing disease. Interesting.  Well, you are going to honour your Uncle and make your father, mother, sisters and fans, very proud when you get yourself breathing on your own again.  There may also be a chance to make you and I the proudest that we have ever been.”

“How’s that?”  He writes, confused.

“Restoring your voice. Like I told you, the small trials have been successful, but you could be the first big success.  I believe in you, and I believe in me.  I will be your guide every step of the way.  We’ll be a team.  You just need to do what I tell you.  In fact, I’ll make you a promise.  I will go to one of your hockey games when you make it back to playing hockey again. How’s that sound?”

Auston feels a peace wash through his body as she speaks.  He knows he can trust her.  He believes he can count on her.  It is like he has known her forever.  He wants her to stay with him.  He feels secure and safe with her near.

“So do we have a deal that you and I will fix you and then I’ll go to one of your games?”

“Yeah, but I have one thing to add”,  He writes.

“And what’s that?” She asks.

“You’ll wear my Jersey to the game”,  he writes before he thinks it through.  

Where the hell has my filter gone, and why do I keep telling her things that make me look pathetic or like a school boy with a crush?  He immediately asks himself as his stomach drops.

Suddenly, her stomach gets butterflies, and a red flag goes up.  For some reason, Auston’s request feels intimate.  

“Then what will YOU wear?” She responds quickly with a joke, to lighten the unease.

Embarrassed, Auston smiles and rolls his eyes and is glad for the comic relief as a distraction.  He still wants to crawl under the bed but can only hope she isn’t creeped out.

Curiosity gets the best of Dr Quinn, and she can’t help but ask, “Seriously, though, why is that Auston?”

He thinks fast and writes, “Because you said we’re a team, so we have to wear the same jersey, right?”

She is relieved.  That makes sense to her.  “Oh for sure Auston.  Deal!” She says as she reaches out her hand to move past this uneasy conversation.  As they shake hands, they both feel an electric charge but pretended not to notice.  

Great save! Auston thinks to himself.

Dr Quinn wants to escape the confusing thoughts she is having about Auston.  She instantly numbs herself to feeling the tingle she got when they touched.  She reveals nothing in her reaction or words.  Her job depends on it.

“Well, I need to get going, Auston.  But I hope this talk helped.”

He nods and smiles but secretly wants more time with her.

“You going home?”  He writes, hoping to solicit more information about her nonchalantly.

“Yeah, after I finish some paperwork”,  She answers with a grin.

“Got any plans tonight?” Auston continues his mission for information.

“Just Pilates.  In fact, I recall, that’s what I had just finished when I got the Page to come help out a certain STAR hockey player who had an accident”,  She teases.

“Ha! Oh.  Sorry about that”,  He writes.

“Yeah, I might forgive you”, She jokes with a wink.

Auston makes a realisation and writes, “Hey!  So that night you weren’t even watching a Toronto, Game 7, Stanley Cup game?!  R you sure you’re from Toronto?  Pilates?  Wow! Just Wow!”  Auston shakes his head, teasing Dr Quinn.

Dr Quinn laughs and in a matter-of-fact voice pleads her case, “Hey!  I told you. I’ve been buried under a rock of medical studies, research, surgeries and being a doctor.  What can I say?  I have no life.  But wait! I seem to recall that as I arrived home from my class that particular night, I was going to put on the TV to check the score of your said ‘game seven’ when someone interrupted me from my ‘hockey game watching.’ Apparently, that SOMEONE needed me to do a little operation.”  Dr Quinn smirks confidently.

“Oh, so you ARE Canadian, after all!  I was really starting to wonder.”  He writes, teasing her.

“But seriously?  The tail end of a game 7 was the best you could do?!  You’re barely hanging on to your citizenship Doctor”,  Auston adds in jest.

“Looks like someone needs to pull you out from under that rock, Dr Quinn.”  Auston writes teasing her again.

“Yeah, I’m starting to realise that”,  She replies.

“So, what are you doing after Pilates?  Not to be nosey.  Just trying to live vicariously through you since I’ll be laying here in a hospital bed while you’re out there free”, Auston fibs.

“Sorry to disappoint, but not much, I’m afraid.  I will probably just get something to eat, return some texts, read or watch tv.”

“Do you have kids?” He writes, hoping his questions will just come off as light conversation.

“Nope.  No kids.  No husband.” She answers.

Auston is thrilled but doesn’t let on.

“A boyfriend?”  He dares to ask.

“Nope.  No boyfriend.”  She responds with a nervous laugh.  She again feels slightly uncomfortable but convinces herself he’s just asking cause he’s bored.

She surprises herself when she questions Auston back, “And you?”  She hopes he just takes it as an innocent back and forth.

“Nope, neither, either and no kids.”  He writes.

They both smile nervously, hoping that their happiness over such revelations isn’t detected by the other.

“Well you have fun laying here in bed, and I’ll have fun doing pilates, eating and not having a life.” She tells him.

Auston thinks she is so cute.  He writes on his board, “Ha!  Okay, it sounds like we’re both living our best life!”

“We sure are!  I’ll see you tomorrow, Auston and we’ll get you breathing again soon.  Oh, that is if you still need me for the breathing exercises.  Probably not, right?  You’re good with Dr Wright now, right?”  She has to laugh at all the “rights” she used there.  She is giddy and nervous and doesn’t want to acknowledge to herself why.

He writes, “Wrong! No.  I need you still.  Pls. We’re a team.  Remember?”

“You’re right, Auston! We are a team.” She tells him shocked by the feeling of warmth running through her body.

Auston smiles huge. He thinks she is adorable.

Needing to escape, Dr Quinn announces, “Anyways; I’ll be back here at 10 am.  Sleep well, Auston.  Oh, and I’ll send your parents back in.  Okay?”

“Yes, I’m going to ask them to go home for the evening and get some sleep.  I need some time alone, and they do as well.”  He writes to her.

Ignoring every warning going off in her brain, she swallows, “I see. Sounds good, Auston.  Can I see your board for a minute?”  

Auston hands her his whiteboard and marker, looking at her, curious as to why she needs it.

She writes something on it quickly, flips it over, hands it back to him and blushing, walks away, saying, “Okay Auston.  Sweet dreams. I’ll send them in.”

Auston watches Dr Quinn leave the room and quickly turns the board over, excited to read what she has written.  

“29” is all it reads.

hello! i was wondering what program&brush settings you use for your artwork? im new to digital art and i really like the way you colour! Especially those light effects they're so extra cool!

omg Anony you’re such a wonderful being, thank you for liking my art enough to ask me that!

now watch me failing trying to explain things to you lmao. I’m self taught and I’m in no way the best at this, so what I’m going to tell you might still be flawed but this is how I do things o/

hmm it’s gonna be long so I’ll put it under a cut!

1) I’m using Paint Tool Sai for everything in my art but if I still feel the need to, I’ll use Photoshop to correct colors and lighting. for example in this progress gif:

you can see where I decided “no, I don’t like this cold blue feeling” so I went to Photoshop (because it allows changes much easier than Sai when it comes to colors) and I changed it to a warmer purple! you can always play in Photoshop and try to see different versions of your art, different colors will give off different feelings

most of my artworks don’t look the way they do at the end because while drawing I tend to be focused on other things (line, where to place shades, lighting, etc) while when the picture is done I can focus on the feeling I initially wanted it to have!

2) My usual brushes are really basic. also ignore my ugly writing.

Sketch: I use this to sketch because it has a nice and easy flow, I can get messy lines that look good (the latest Brahms Heelshire drawing I did is entirely drawn with this one!)

you can always switch between your brushes depending on what feeling you want your art to have

Lineart: this one has nice, smooth and bold lines. I like to play around with it’s size. I believe it’s the basic one Sai has

little advice: if you’re not happy with your lineart try to alternate heavy lines with tiny ones. for example:

you can see how bold her hair is, but adding thinner lines to the glasses, the folds of her clothes, hair etc. it will create a better dynamic of your picture and will leave the eye of the viewer to run around it! I’m honestly awful at explaining stuff fdkjsnjkfds ofc this is a personal preference but my linework improved since I started to think like this

Base color: this is the color tool sai gives you, I changed my names so I can’t remember its default name. I like it to be bold because when I was little I used to color entire coloring books, so even now digitally I like to color every bit like I’m using crayons haha. time consuming and useless but shhh. basically I put down every base color with this one

Acrylic: now this one is tricky, when I got it the first time I wanted to use it to shade, but using it I discovered it’s much better for blending. after I put down the main colors and shades I just use this one to blend them together and I sometimes paint with it too

Blending: it’s literally the blur brush Sai provides you xDD

now keep in mind that using its settings (the things near the “Normal” option!) you can get different types of blur! always play around to see what looks good in your art. also remember that not every shadow has to be blurred or blended out, there are many ways shadows can look, using both blurred and heavy (cast) shadows in your art will definitely improve it. using real life references might help

Airbrush: the very brush Sai gives you. I’m using this one mainly for lighting. what I do is basically put down a hard light, like literally take a light color and place it where I see fit on the character, then I give it a bit of glow with the airbrush. one thing I noticed is that depending on the surface, the glow will change!

in this one you can clearly see the light on his cheekbone, but then there is a much weaker light on his face, that’s made with the airbrush and then blended into the structure of the face.the glow on the cheekbone and the ear is made with airbrush, using orange and playing around with the layer modes (overlay and luminosity, these are your best friends when it comes to lighting!)

lastly I want to present another best friend for us artists, the eraser

you can make highlights with the eraser too! you can cut the light in different shapes to give different feels and many other things, the eraser is definitely your best friend and not only in erasing mistakes. try to play around with it sometimes

Other things I learned:

try to use a different color for shading, using the exact color but darker will only make your art look dull, lifeless. the same goes for lighting! there are lots of tutorials on color theories and practices out there to help you with it

don’t be afraid to get wild, use oranges, reds, blues, purples in your skin and play around with the layer modes, you’ll see how much more alive it will feel. also don’t be afraid to try different styles, constancy is not the friend of a creative mind. experiment, try things, go out of your comfort zone. make it fun, make it personal. if you like drawing dogs then keep drawing dogs and enjoy it! don’t let labels and others to influence you and your spirit

ik this is obvious but never compare yourself with others. your journey is yours, you have a different hand, a different brain and a different being. this also goes to drawing things others did already! who cares there’s 0284e4895 other pictures with Kitbull already? draw yours, it will be unique and special because it has something from YOU in it, and no one can replicate that not even with tracing

watch people online! of course when you sit down to draw it will be completely different, but involuntarily you’ll learn and exercising you’ll find your own way of doing things. there might be much better ways for drawing lighting than I do, but this is how I feel good and I like to do it!

I know you hear this everywhere but really, practice, daily if you can! in October 2017 I tried to to the inktober challenge for the first time, I haven’t finished it and I was late anyway but I can tell you that trying to draw daily definitely improved my art. now I’m able to draw a picture per day with not much effort (yesterday I was able to draw three pictures with pretty good quality! o/ always start small and be proud of every step!!)

lastly, don’t be hard on yourself. every picture is a lesson, doesn’t matter how it came out. maybe the anatomy is wonky af, but you learned and your brain will remember what not to do next time. try and try and try and never say “my art sucks”, say “this pic doesn’t look how I wanted, but I still like it. I’ll do better next time!”. the moment you start to like your art you’ll see how much it will start to shine hehe

I might come out with more stuff but this is already really really long xD  just be yourself, love your art and enjoy it!! lots of luck for you Anony, I hope I didn’t bore you and this will be helpful for you and others! :D

Random thing, will be edited and added on when Robbie finds more of the random stuff Robbie has sent to @thetickleeraven

Adding a ‘Keep Reading’ because this will get VERY Long. Might copy/edit/paste this post with every add on so it won’t glitch out too much, and if you’d already seen the first few paragraphs of an idea, just scroll until you see one of the numbers (like #2) that you haven’t seen before! 

Hope that helps, anyways enjoy the rambling of HCs and Ideas

Edit/Add-On #1 

Taking place in Raven’s recent couple of fics with Prince Roman and the magical Logan (since we can’t spell mid-evil) that AU. HC: Pat is either 1. The king of the place, and Roman’s dad figure still. OR 2. (HC I use more) Patton is the news-reporter-writer-helper-etc guy. He orders the seeds for farms, sets up meetings for Roman and other lands, making sure things work and stay kinda organized. You’d never think of someone so dad-like to have that kind of job, you know? Good HC tbh-

Imagine Patton’s first couple of lessons were a tour and knowing the potions and ingredients around the place. He writes everything down, admitting to Logan that he’d have a bad memory if he didn’t write it down. He was trying, though, and Logan respects that to the fullest. When Logan flips through the beginners spells, the one Roman had used caught Patton, of all people’s, eye. He smiles. “Mirth brought to light? Aw, that sounds adorable! Making people happy is the best spell I’d say! But you don’t need magic for that!” He glances up at Logan. “What do you mean, Pat?” “I have you to make me happy, you dork!” Commence Logan to be slightly flustered as he continues to flip through and explain the spells. Including the Mirth of Light one. “So it just makes people more aware of how ticklish they are? Gosh, that sounds amazing!” “How so?” “Well, it doesn’t hurt anybody, and it could probably be used on thieves or villains instead of slaughtering them, you know? Have them cough up where the money is!” “That’s… rather childish, but pacifistic, I must say.” “Good thing I’m no criminal! I’m insanely ticklish.” Okay, wow, no one probably met someone so blunt and honest with statements like those. “Really? You say that to everyone you meet?” “Hush! It’s not that bad!” “Not that bad? You mean you enjoy the sensation?” “You mean tickling??” “Yes. That.” “Of course!” Logan paused, giving him a puzzled look. “Why wouldn’t I? What’s not to like?” Patton’s eyes lit up. Not like the time he first saw the room of potions, or when Logan drones on, but still lit up with joy. Huh. Never thought this would happen, Logan thought.

~Continuation type deal of the first paragraph of ideas~

Patton is the town/castle news/reporter type deal at first, running around making sure everyone has everything they need (surprising Virge didn’t have that job-) and that’s when Logan saw that sparkle of look in Patton’s eyes when things got done. Patton never showed his whole adoration and appreciation of work and order much, since he felt geeky. Logan took a step up to Pat as the dad took the pencil out from behind his ear to write a few things down in his note-pad, scribbling random messy ideas. “You. Come with me.” Logan orders him to follow. Once they make it to Logan’s specific tower, You can just… tell. Patton looked at every potion with detail, even drawing a few mini sketches of each one to take notes like ‘purple round potion bottle:’ and 'blue triangle bottle’ and etc. Patton’s eyes just… light up! You’d never expect someone so loving and innocent outside the castle to be into such geeky and dorky stuuuuff, clearly Logan thought it wasn’t geeky… much. “You. You’re going to be my assistant from here on out. I will teach you everything I know, and even after that we will continue to work together. What’s your name, sir?” “Sir?? I’m not that old, not even much older than you, but a lot of people think I’m Roman’s father, how funny is that??” Patton giggles, holding out his hand. “I’m Patton, the castle reporter and document-er!” “Big job, huh?” “Eh, I mostly just take care of the village complaints and problems, order stuff like seeds for the farms, plan the meetings, boring stuff-” “It’s not boring, it’s very intriguing. Tell me more.” Patton’s eyes lit up again. No one’s ever wanted to hear him talk this much before.

Edit/Add-On #2

“It Came From The Trees” Gives me so many little t-fic ideas like, Virgil would hang upside down from a branch right when Princey is heading back to the treehouse since “I caught a fish by myself omg Virgil will be so happy-” Virgil’s face is right in front of him popping down. “SUPER-CALA-FRAGI-FUCKER–” And Virgil’s just laughing.

Imagine the life style of him and Roman over the time in the woods!!!!!

“I found these little red berries they look like cherries they can’t be that bad-” ate two Virge is carving a stick with his blade he’s had for years, not looking up. “They’re poisonous, Ro” Roman freaks out and almost faints, tossing them all away and sitting on the ground like “that’s a relief-” “…Dude I was kidding they’re just little red berries, I’ve ate them for years-” “I will destroy you-”

Raven’s fics of Roman being that one Prince and Virgil being his guard, what if WHAT IF HOLY CRAP- What if It Came From The Trees is set like, waaay before Virgil was his guard??? And when Roman came back to the Palace, maybe even 2 years later (He’s wearing whole other clothes Virgil’s taught him how to sew) and Pat (king or intern or whatever he wants to be) Is just like “HOLY CRAP MAN WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN WE THOUGHT YOU DIED-” Logan, ironically, is also freaking out. He’s doing that classic thing in cartoons where they’re at his arms, legs, checking him for bites or scratches and etc, like a mother (ha-) and he’s like “Guys, really- it’s cool-” But Virgil’s still at the Tree House, since Virge thought they’d think 'hOLY CRAP ROMAN WHO’S THAT WE GOTTA KILL HIM-’ so Roman said “I’m just going to go tell them I’m alive, K? I’ll be back. Promise.” A day-ish later, he comes back to Virgil who got jump-scared when he did, not expecting the PRINCE to be so good at sneaking around in the dark, so it was startling. He’s rambling about how he’s told his closest friends about Virgil and that he’s allowed to apply for a position in the village, whichever position he wants! Virge thinks about it for maybe a week and is like 'dude, what if you were my guard? You kind of saved my ass seven times when we first met!’ “It’s not my fault you’re so fancy-” “Excuse me-” “You had NO IDEA what you were doing-” “I’ll have you know–” “You thought the leaves growled in the wind~” “…Okay, yeah, whatever-” Anyways, Virgil works up the courage to jump through the trees, Roman still not the best at it, but able to keep up with Virgil to do so, and they jump to the walls of Roman’s land. “You sure I’m… allowed in? They won’t attack me?” “Of course!” Getting through the gate, of course, Logan and Pat are both there waiting for Roman, and Logan (like with Roman) examines and pokes and prods at Virgil with questions and his eraser/pencil, Virgil’s slightly pink like “YOU SAID THEY WOULDN’T ATTACK ME!” “He’s not! ..Specs, please get out of his mouth, he has one row of teeth-” Since that nickname, before Virge knew their real names, he called them nicknames for months never asking them 'what’s your name?’ since Roman told them to go with it and it was hilariously cute. When Virge first found out Logan’s name he glared at Roman like “Wait so his name isn’t Specs?” “Nope.” “It’s not Nerd either? Not Four-Eyes, Harry Potter, Geek-a-zoid, none of those??” “Nope.” “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME-” “Because it was cute watching you get used to it~” “…Is it too late to be an outcast again-”

~Continued of the last mess of a paragraph thingy, yes, very aware of some grammar mistakes and mess ups. If it says ‘you/your’ when it shouldn’t, it’s probably because these were just copy pasted when I rambled to @thetickleeraven and said ‘you/your’ to them so don’t freak out about that~

Pass a week or two, put Virgil in that one dorm area you talked about where he almost died in that fic I can’t remember the name of- maybe it wasn’t your fic I don’t remember– Anyways- Put him in the dorms area, he got used to it, even let Roman help him decorate with so so so many things he’s like “Dude I don’t need posters they’re just paper, you could’ve used that for something else-” “It’s not a crime to treat yourself, Virge. Plus you love the Nightmare Before Christmas!” “..True-” And even when he first signed up to be a guardsman he had to go through the training. Since he lived in the woods for so long, he passed the agility and strength tests no problem. The hardest part was the test that most guards are good at. This was the hard test Virgil knew he’d fail at as soon as he heard it. Endurance Test. Not only did they have to stand in a line, A-Z, standing up straight and all (ouch for his back-) but Roman was the judge of the test. He walked to people randomly, doing anything he saw fit to make the others 'snap out of character’ like laugh, smile, the smallest thing would make Roman grin with victory. It’s not that it was a bad thing, of course, but first hearing the TEST part, Virgil did EVERYTHING HE COULD not to fricken mess this up. So as SOON AS ROMAN GOT TO VIRGIL, he just gave him that snarky little face of a grin and raised eyebrows. They had… so many inside jokes, it was easy for him. “Remember that time I tried to eat your shirt in my sleep because I hadn’t learned how to catch a fish yet?” Okay, Virgil snickered. Quietly though. Roman noticed, however, and he was going to focus on Virgil now. Once someone broke completely, they stepped off to the benches or bathrooms for a break, but Virgil, with Joan and Talyn, were the last three still 'Mature’ or in this case in the Test. Virgil was in the middle of the other two, and you can sense the other two thinking “Wow, what’s their story?” Roman continued. “Remember I tried to eat a worm? You told me if I couldn’t climb that tree in 30 seconds that would be my dinner. I had it in my mouth, you pleb!” He put a hand on his chest, dramatically, going on and on about how Virgil almost 'made him’ do these things. Luckily, Roman didn’t eat the worm, he got real dinner, but Virgil got a kick out of watching him try and almost release it into the wild with a “Virge, this thing has a family, come on-”. Virgil let out a snort, okay, it was super hard. ROMAN STOP BEING FUNNY! WIPE THAT SMIRK OFF YOUR FACE! Since Roman didn’t know Virgil was ticklish (until the potions fics) he relied on his cunning charm and humor to spite Virgil, which of course was the same Virgil did to Roman. It was so close, he could pass the test! He’d make the guard if only- “Remember the porcupine incident?” Virgil fell to his knees laughing, it was so stupid and unfair! The others had no idea what Roman said, since they couldn’t hear, but Talyn and Joan shared a look like “?????” along with a look of “..awww they’re friends-” Virgil, the next day, thought he failed. Roman came back with the results. “Virgil, Talyn, and Joan. You three are the head of squads A, B, and C.” Virgil was shocked. After Roman finished, everyone but them two left, and Virgil was like “But- But I thought if we weren’t serious enough we’d fail-” “Oh please! You think I’d fail you just because you laughed at something I said?? Virgil, I don’t want my guards to be losers! I don’t want them so stuck up about the rules and court, the way we do things, that stuff is so boring! I want guards who are more than just that, they can /have a sense of humor!/” Virgil was about to tear up before he turned bright red and glared at him. “YOU LITTLE SHI- YOU MADE ME LAUGH IN FRONT OF EVERYONE WHY–” “It was adorable, stormcloud!” “Storm..cloud?” “..Do you not-” “Nah, it’s actually cool. I’ll keep that nickname over pleb, thanks.”

Edit/Add-On #3 Not Yet Here

~This little area will change when edited, so refresh if you need to to check if it’s newer~

Lmao my notifications also suck, thanks for the tag @the-subservient-human! (I’m answering here and not my main @ober-affen-geil because I don’t really do super personal stuff there.)

Rules: Answer 21 questions and tag 21 people you want to get to know better.

Nickname: College one (Deuces, makes sense in context), and several my dad calls me. Usually something along the lines of “bug 1″ because I am the oldest.

Starsign: Libra

What I’m Wearing: I call it my “sweatpants dress”, it’s a very basic a-line tank dress that’s made of this super comfy material that is a spiritual dress equivalent to sweatpants.

Dream Job: Archivist baby! Living the dream!

Favorite Quote: Oh my lord I literally keep a running GoogleDoc of quotes that’s up to like 9 pages at this point, there is no way I can pick a fave. Ummm ok here are some of the best: "Cool doesn't come from other people, it comes from you." from A Very Potter Senior Year; "...any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.", John Donne; "People who go 'round suspecting vice in others are highly suspect themselves." from Another Country; "Music’s the best thing we do as humans, isn’t it? Music, I mean you flail your limbs, make you move in a way you don’t understand. Or it can make you weep like a sailor’s wife staring at a storm.", Russell Howard; "To love oneself is to have a lifelong romance.", Brian Blessed

Favorite Food: Fresh fucking pasta. Hell yes.

Favorite Movie: Lordie y’all are testing me. Again I can’t pick just one; here are a few I can quote backwards and forwards and will watch at any time: The Princess Bride, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, A Knight’s Tale, The Gods Must Be Crazy, Victor/Victoria (the stage version, not the movie), Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi, Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, and Legally Blonde.

Favorite Sport: To participate in? Swimming. To watch? Soccer. To watch live? Basketball probably idk. I don’t sports.

Dream Trip: Sigh. UK. New Zealand. Something like that.

Languages: English is my first. I speak a little German and a little ASL.

Favorite Song: Good lord it changes with my mood. “Spoonful of Sugar” from Mary Poppins, “Ohne Dich” by Rammstein, Gimme Three Steps” by Lynyrd Skynyrd, “Nine Times Blue” by The Monkees, and “Swing Life Away” by Rise Against I guess.

Favorite Book: Ffs you guys omg. “The Book Thief” by Markus Zusak, “A Gentleman in Moscow” by Amor Towles, “Life of Pi” by Yann Martel, “Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe” by Benjamin Alire Sáenz, “The Martian” by Andy Weir.

What Do I Hate: Ummm rudeness that is unprovoked, elitism, bigotry, willful ignorance, and gatekeeping.

Random Fact: I have two tattoos!

Describe Yourself as Aesthetic Things: Paisley, bright colors, a wide-brimmed sun hat, a light breeze, the smell of fresh baked bread, a sharpened pencil with a good eraser, filled bookshelves, fall foliage, sheet music, and candlelight.

Do I Get Asks?: Ayup. But not so many I drown. (Love you all!)

Other Blogs: @ober-affen-geil is my main where I post MCU, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Umbrella Academy (right now), fun facts, Shakespeare jokes, other puns, queer things, and generally things I relate to. I very rarely create original content there. @catcat-fandomfandom where I post literally anything I like that comes across my dash that is cat related. I mean literally anything. No original content whatsoever.

Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw.

Patronus: Oh boy. I took the test but I don’t remember. A dog of some kind?

Favorite Character/s: UGH I CANNOT PICK FAVORITES JESUS LEAVE ME ALONE ok Father Mulcahy from M*A*S*H, Jughead Jones FROM THE COMICS NOT THE SHOW (but I love Cole Sprouse), Wash from Firefly (We do not talk about the ending of Serenity), Rosa Diaz from Brooklyn Nine-Nine, and Robin from How I Met Your Mother.

Any Updates on New Fics?: I have not written fanfic since college (my friends would give me a pairing and challenge me to write smut because they thought it was funny that it was the only thing I was super good at writing.) Writing is not my main creative outlet, I prefer drawing and music.

You guys know I don’t tag people, do it if you want!

The Sweetest of Heartbreaks

An emotional essay on Domi’s run at the Us Open.

Sport is the most heartbreaking of passions. Believe me, I've tried them all. I don't know how to be an average fan. I don't "like", I obsess. And even though I think being passionate is wonderful, I really wish I could tone my emotional investment down, because sport, and especially tennis, hurts more often than not.

The day after Arsène Wenger retired from Arsenal, a customer, devastated and unable to put his pain into perspective, told me "Sport is the most important of irrelevant things. It means nothing on the big scale of life and yet, it means the world. It's silly how sad I am, but I can't help it". Twenty four hours after the Madrid final, I could relate, big time, being way more upset than one should be following a tennis match. But as he had said, I couldn't help it. There's no way to rationalize the disappointment when your heart belongs to a team or a player.

Since the day Dominic Thiem has taken, unknowingly, full ownership of mine, I feel like I've been on a never ending rollercoaster ride. It's psychologically exhausting. Now, would I jump out of my seat if I could? No. Never. But I've been trying to protect myself in case of unavoidable nosedives. The most efficient seatbelt I've found is to lower my expectations to what I'm certain Dominic is capable of, based on current circumstances. Don't get me wrong, my faith in him is limitless and he will achieve greatness. But history has proven that a few things beyond his control can get in the way of his tennis abilities. And also, Hope is a perverse b*tch. So I'm being cautious and pragmatic. It's safer and healthier considering the irrational impact of Dominic's results on my wellbeing.      

Therefore, two days before the beginning of the US Open 2018, my take on Dominic's chances would have cost me a few "And you call yourself a fan??" had I made it public. But let's face it. He hadn't won a single match on hardcourt since Indian Wells in March and he had just been injured, sick and through a heavy personal disappointment in Kitzbühel not too long before. So draw in hands, facts in mind and my arch enemy Hope silenced in the basement, I set my expectations to what I knew Dominic could do: reach Round 4 and defend his points.

I watched his first game against Basic on my phone, a great friend of mine face-timing me from Grandstand where she was seated, sixth row. I couldn't really follow the points, seeing only Dominic and a third of the court on my screen, but I understood he had broken his opponent, playing flawless and lethal tennis. So Hope got rid of her gag and yelled "OMG! He's going to have an epic US Open!". I shut her up. "Don't you start!".

He won easily, but struggled against Johnson, which I had seen coming after Steve's epic run the previous week. Dominic did it the hard way, probably harder than he could have. He drove me to turn off the stream at some point and to fear a premature heartbreak. But he did it and reinforced one of my certainties: he was born for five setters and epic battles. Then came the match against Fritz. Dominic lost his cool, which I like to see, even though I maybe shouldn't. And not only did he play great tennis, he also displayed, once again, his unbelievable sportsmanship, advising Taylor to challenge a call on break point. A friend told me "Domi shouldn't do that. He's too nice!". And I thought "Oh, he should. Always". He didn't become my favorite player because of his backhand or his deep runs at the French Open. He's my favorite player because he's a gem of a human being and I'll forever value kindness above all qualities.

And there we were. Round 4. Points had been defended. Personal expectations had been reached. Facts in mind once again -their head-to-head, the surface and Anderson's current form-, I allowed Hope to come back in the leaving-room but asked her not to be too loud. Winning this one would be difficult, but it was possible.

Before the match, I tweeted "May our boy play his best tennis and enjoy himself". That's all I've ever wanted. That's why the finals in Madrid and Paris had been so painful and hard to recover from, despite the pride from watching him reached them. Because Dominic hadn't enjoyed his time on court and had left both tournaments thinking he could have played better. So yes, if he had to lose against Kevin, I was hoping he would do it in style.

Two hours and thirty-five minutes later, at 5-2 in the third set tiebreak, I was bawling my eyes out, both my hands pressed against my chest, overwhelmed and dizzy, but feeling so light I could have flown away. This, right then, this rush, this very instant, was the reason why I would never jump out of the rollercoaster. That was the point when the train reaches the top of the highest slope, when your heart starts racing, as you know what's coming, but you let go of the security guardrail and raise your arms, because you feel a hundred percent safe. I was feeling so safe. I didn't think for one second I should silence Hope. "It's not over til it's over!". It wasn't hope. It was over. It had been over from the moment Dominic had broken Kevin in the first set and it had made no doubt from then. It might have taken a fourth set, but ultimately, Dominic would have won this match. He was playing his absolute most clever and efficient tennis and he was having the time of his life doing so. Up to the very last point, he showed the full extent of his skills and his reaction after his amazing final shot increased my life expectancy by a decade.

During the following forty-eight hours, there was no way to silence Hope. It didn't matter that Dominic had to play Rafa next. Feeling this safe is too rare, I had to make the most of it. So I was walking down the streets, grinning like an idiot, day dreaming he was going to beat Djokovic in straight sets on Sunday evening and lift the trophy. There was no stopping him, there was no stopping me.

The morning of the match, I tweeted "May our boy pull off the upset we all know he's capable of". And the reason why we all knew it, was that Dominic had made it clear he knew it too. Everything he had said in interviews was screaming fierceness and willpower.

I've explained it at the beginning, I set my expectations to what I'm certain Dominic is capable of.

So at 2am UK time, Hope sat right next to me in my chair and I hugged her tight.

The first set was a surreal experience. It was mesmerizing and more satisfying than any set of tennis I had ever watched. But somehow, it was terrifying. It felt like one of those dreams, where everything is perfect, but a tiny part of your subconscious is aware you're asleep, aware the dream might end or turn into a nightmare at any second. Dominic was flawless, his tennis was spectacular and he wasn't playing against a diminished opponent. Rafa was being outsmarted, outrun, outgunned and it was all about Dominic's genius. But still, such a score line was abnormal.

A year before, to the day, Dominic had won an opening set with a score line that felt abnormal. The circumstances were way different, but it was impossible not to think about it. I don't believe any Dominic fan has fully recovered from this heartbreak. I know I haven't.

Oddly, I would have felt safer if Dominic had won this first set 6-4. He was playing Rafa, a man whose ability to recover, adapt and start fresh has been proven to be the best there's ever been. I couldn't help but picture a beast, which had just been deeply provoked and was about to attack, with all it had. So I was smiling, still, of course, but biting my nails and glancing at Hope who was really confused and had no clue what to do.

And indeed, Rafa recovered and adapted, but Dominic didn't falter. He didn't get scared. He held on, he kept fighting, kept painting lines, kept producing mind-bending tennis and kept believing. So I kept believing too. Until he lost the third set. I switched off my laptop. The commentator on Amazon Prime had just said "I feel like Thiem deserved to win this set, considering the terrific tennis he's been playing" and that's exactly how I was feeling. Dominic was maintaining an unbelievable level and still, it wasn't quite enough. So would anything be? Hope had left my place and discouragement had taken over. And even though Dominic looked nothing but discouraged, I was too exhausted to watch him fight in vain. The idea of seeing him lose three sets, after that miracle of an opening one, was unbearable. Cruel and heart wrecking.

I went to bed as dawn was glimmering through my curtains. But of course I couldn't sleep, of course I couldn't let go of my phone for more than three minutes in a row. Of course I was following the score and reactions on twitter. I knew Dominic was still battling with a mental and physical strength that was about to go down in tennis history. And I felt guilty to be hiding underneath my duvet like a coward. To have given up when he hadn't.

When he won the fourth set tiebreak, Hope stormed back into my room, turned the lights and my laptop back on and glued me to my chair. She had never seemed so dangerous and perverse. I could foresee the violence of the shock, should this specific ride end up in a wall after so many ups and downs. It would be painful. Really painful. But this time, something was different. This time, I was protected by a brand new kind of seatbelt, I was snuggled in a cocoon of pride and gratitude. After four hours, Dominic was still playing his heart out and he was turning mine into a colorful and sweet substance that wouldn't break, no matter what. Watching him save breakpoints by the shovelful, throw winners left and right, keep his focus and his cool, show so much resilience, all the while being an absolute angel towards everybody on court, was a dream come true. Except this one was and would remain a hundred percent real. Nothing could erase it. No outcome could stain the joy of witnessing Dominic achieve greatness.

Dominic was Great.

The fifth set tiebreak began and Hope tried to hide underneath the table. I pulled her back next to me and smiled. Whatever was about to happen, to Dominic and to my heart, we would face it together.

At 3pm, I went to work, having slept two hours and a half, my fingers skinned from all the biting, my throat hitching from all the nervous cigarettes smoked, my stomach aching from the amount of chocolate swallowed frenetically. My colleague and good friend greeted me with a sad face and a comforting hug. But he quickly took a step back and frowned "How are you so cheerful??". He had just seen the score line. He just knew Dominic had lost. He had no idea how painless this heartbreak was.

Yes, my heart had cracked, despite everything, when Dominic had hit this final overhead wide. Tears had filled up my eyes and a rush of bitterness had shaken my entire body. I had cursed the "fifth set tiebreak rule" out loud, because it had felt so freaking unfair that, after such a fight, a single mistake on serve could be decisive.

But then, there had been this hug, this proof of Rafa's respect and affection. A respect and affection earned through years of rivalry and sportsmanship. There had been Dominic's peaceful acceptation while he was still on court, his smiles to the umpire and the crowd, something about his face whispering to my ear "He's okay, he will be okay". The standing ovation and the praising headlines already pouring in on social medias. His press conference, turning the whisper into a loud promise "He's okay, he will be okay".

And finally, this long overdue consequence: the world falling in love with Dominic. He was finally given the credit he had always deserved, as a player and as a person. He was finally seen for who he is: a man with an arm of steel and a heart of gold.

I was cheerful, because I was happy beyond words, still snuggled in my cocoon of pride and gratitude.

Writing those lines, a week later, I'm still really emotional about it all. That's why I needed to set it down on paper. So I never forget. So the next time tennis feels like the most heartbreaking of passions, I'll remember how fulfilling it also is.

Sport is, indeed, the most important of irrelevant things.

In a world that's constantly shaking underneath our feet, it is an anchor. In a life that goes so fast it can consume our feelings and leave us empty, it is an inexhaustible source of raw emotions keeping us alive.

I don't know how to be an average fan and I'm not planning on ever trying. Because I'm lucky enough to have chosen someone who makes every twist of the ride worth it.

  Thank you, Dominic. From the bottom of my heart.

Yes of course, if you want to write a snippet for Carlisle and Esme's engagement we'd love to read it :)

Omg rly? Wow okay that’s pretty cool okay here you go I hope you all like it!! If not then I’m screwed lmao idowpcnskcls. ——————————————————It had been a hectic few months with Esme coming into Edward and I’s lives. But I wouldn’t replace it for the world. I think I have found my soul mate in Esme, she’s everything I’ve ever wanted. She’s got a kind heart, she’s loving and not to mention she’s absolutely heavenly. Marriage was a concept that I had thought of before and now I’m stood before the love of my life ready to ask for her hand in marriage. I would’ve never have had the confidence to do it without Edward, he really did pick me up when I wanted to pull out of it all.

*one month prior*“That’s a good idea, even for you,” Edward randomly spoke. I was fantasising about how Esme and I’s future would unfold and marriage was enveloped into it. “She isn’t ready, with everything after Charles-no I can’t rush her into anything Edward,” I explained, determined that it was the better choice. Edward just scoffed at my comment and replied,“Trust me, it would be a good idea.” I pursued my lips thinking hard. Was she ready? Has she thought of it before? Is she expecting me to propose? Am I ready? “Yes, yes, no and yes,” Edward smugly answered. I rolled my eyes and trudged to my office, thinking of ways I could do it.

“I can help you.” Edward was at my office door. He sauntered into the room, grabbed a small stool and sat next to me. Then for the rest of the night we quietly planned how I would ask the most gorgeous woman for her hand in marriage. Esme was busing herself with drawing, gardening, knitting and reading, so hopefully she wouldn’t think twice about where we were and what we were doing. I grabbed the bit of paper which we were brainstorming ideas and started to talk but Edward snatched it off me, sat on it and started to talk about medicine to me. “So did Humira help with arthritis or unneeded water attention?”“Edward I have no idea what on Earth you’re on about, but arthritis and Crohn’s disease is the answer why?” I lightly joked. Edward gave me a more serious look and bulged his eyes as if he was trying to tell me something. At that very moment Esme tapped gently on the door and made herself welcome. “Is everything okay? You guys have been up here for a while.” She stated. “Yes we have.” I replied. If my heart was beating, it would’ve been over a thousand beats per minute. I freaked out and didn’t know what to say, so Esme just awkwardly walked out and started humming a piece of music that Edward had been working on. “That was too close,” I said so quietly that no one could hear but Edward. He nodded in agreement and we continued to make plans until we reached one that I was happy with.

The next morning, I had asked Esme if she would like to bake some food for the hospital, as it keeps up the appearance that we’re human and we’re helping out our local community. She excitedly agreed, and Edward and I snuck out to get a ring to give her.

*back to the present*And now here I am. Lead the most breathtaking woman out here at the edge of the cliff to ask her to be my wife. I chose the cliff side, because I wanted to erase unpleasant previous memories of the cliff to a more happy and joyous one. “Wow, the sunset is so beautiful,” Esme happily commented taking me out of my thoughts. I wrapped my arms around her petite waist and breathed in her ravishing scent. “Hmm yeah it is, but the sight I’m seeing now of you beats a million beautiful sunsets,” I honestly complimented. I felt her grin as she rested her head on my chest. “I have something for you.” I released her from the position we were in, quickly walked over to behind a rock and pulled out a exquisite bouquet of white and red roses and handed them to her. “Why thank you Dr. Cullen,” She teased. I beamed and she added, “what is all this for?” I shyly smiled, and swiftly reached into my pocket and brought out a navy velvet box. Gracefully, I got down on one knee and watched her face drop as I popped the box open, revealing a dashing diamond engagement ring that I had bought for her. “Esme, I’ve waited for what seems like eternity to be with you. But if that’s eternity then I want to spend every single minute of it and more with you. You’re a beautiful person-inside and out. I love you and always have and rather selfishly I don’t regret any part of changing you when I found you in that morgue. Every single thing you do I love and I always will. You make me incredibly happy with your loving nature and your strong personality. So, Esme Ann Platt, would you do me the incredulous honour of being my stunning wife?” By the time I had gotten to the end of my speech Esme was on the verge of tears and I had anxiety sleeping through my veins. This is way too early. She didn’t want this. I’ve made her unhappy now she’s crying because she doesn’t want to upset me. I’m the worst person, how could I be so careless? My uncontrollable thoughts were interrupted by Esme. “Yes.” My eyes widened as I couldn’t believe what she had said. “Are you sure?” I stupidly asked. She lightly laughed and nodded her head, threw her arms around me and started giggling. I’m astounded by what had just happened. Esme pulled away and gave me a long but passionate kiss and I returned it. I engulfed her in my arms and held her so tight as we kissed intensely. “Wow I did have my doubts, I’m going to be honest,” I sighed, relieved. She raised an eyebrow at me and said,“How could I not marry you? I can’t wait to be Mrs. Cullen..” I felt a grin make its way across the muscles in my face and I pulled Esme closer for another kiss. ——————————————————This turned out longer than a snippet, but I hope you guys liked it :))

Finals!AU Monsta X

Literally nobody asked but our struggle with finals brought us here. 

how Monsta X deals with the stress of finals and their study habit

jooheon

spent 3 hrs making the perfect study playlist for finals, skips every song

makes changkyun study with him cause "he can't study alone or he'll fall asleep" and changkyun knows that it won’t end well cause they'll just end up f*cking around but he always comes anyways

hyunwoo looking at their tomfoolery: my boys... no... study…

kihyun: f*cking study you headasses jooheon you need a 98 to get a B

jooheon is that guy that has so many friends in all his classes that he has multiple study groups for every class so he ends up wasting time studying the same thing with different groups

he doesn't procrastinate much but he does take.. absurdly long breaks...

his definition of a break is visiting the study room next door for "a couple of minutes"

jihoon once he sees jooheon waving outside the window of svt's study room: "oh no we're not gonna get anything done"

jihoon as he sees jackson spotting jooheon and they walk to svt's room together: "f*UCK NO I NEED TO GRADUATE"

but jooheon means well! he just loves spending time with his friends and studying feels lonely....

Through the force of exam anxiety he managed to cram and write up good cheat sheet the night before

somehow managed to get the professor to round his B- to a B

changkyun

carries three (3) tumblers with him: one with woTAh, one with coffee, and one with red bull

we don't talk about that semester minhyuk somehow convinced changkyun to mix his coffee and red bull...

he ended up in the ER and he's still trying to pay off his hospital bills... slowly...

kihyun: why the f*ck did u trick the baby you know he's stupid

minhyuk: kihyun… at this point… it's natural selection

aNYWAYS changkyun is very auditory is his learning!

he tries to record his lectures and he'll listen to them. that's his "studying"

has a hard time memorizing… can barely remember his functions and laws and equations

general bio?? yeah he barely passed, made kihyun tutor him the whole semester and kissed ki on the cheek when he passed with a C-

he makes little songs to memorize his equations and it's honestly so cute... wonho had to pinch a cheek

ran out of practice problems to do cause he loves doing them

he and jooheon fool around a lot but he's the level one out of the two and he will sit both his and jooheon's ass down when the time comes for it

gets good grades on his finals! baby deserved it uwu

hyungwon

out of all the 7, he's secretly the most diligent

one of those people who pretends that they don’t study much to act cool but secretly is working very hard on his grades

reviews his notes after every lecture so by finals week he has a good grasp of the concepts

sharp enough to fill the blanks in himself

so yeah he's set he just needs to review

one time hyunwoo meant well and booked the monstas a study room

hyungwon was napping on his notes, citing something about "studying by osmosis"

always makes sure to get a full 10 hours before every exam

everyone else: running on 2 hrs of sleep, hair messy, eyebags, rumpled clothes

hyungwon awake with his outfit picked out, skin glowing and hair gelled: :)

he'll help jookyun the babies with reviewing. he's the friend that you ask to quiz you over concept cause he's brutally honest on when you get it right/wrong 

aces all his exams, but it doesn't even matter cause he only needed a 75 to get an A

kIHYUN

is insanely ambitious, is taking 8 classes and he has 5 finals... rip..

has a study schedule set up by 30 mins increments

do not even bREATHE wrong in his direction during finals week or he will cut you

color codes his notes according to subjects, has flashcards, 3d models for ochem...

goes to every single review session that almost always ends up being useless cause he already knew everything

you need his notes? well maybe if u asked before finals week he'd consider it..

when he's not trying to not kill himself he's trying to make sure his friends are alive cause minhyuk... is that pepsi you're having for breakfast???

mh: yeah... what did u have for breakfast?

ki: uh... nothing??

mh: well i'm already doing better than you, buddy

but seriously he tries to take care of everyone when he himself is a mess.... secretly carries a toothbrush just in case he'll 'accidentally' sleep in the library

during exam day he made sure to have everything he needs

unexpectedly in the middle of the exam his eraser fell and rolled into a gap between the rows in front of him

he was already close to crying

yoongi, concerned, slides his eraser to the table between them

ends up with an A, brags to the monstas about how they should follow his habits

hyungwon: bit*h where

minhyuk

king of procrastination? yes

you thought you were bad? you don’t have anything on lee minhyuk

downloads one of those game-blocking apps on his pc & laptop to block games during finals…plays games on his phone anyways...

loUD. never stops talking in the study room

is the reason the study room next to theirs always knocks on the wall to get them to shut the f*ck up

minhyuk: don’t worry i'll talk to them! :D

"they were my friends! omg i haven’t talked to yoonho in forever wait hyungwon do you remem-"

when the monstas finally got him to stfu he looked so serious looking at his laptop and writing things down the monstas were shook™ 

he was just drawing one piece fan art

is that kid who write inspirational cute things like “you’ll do great” or “grades don’t define you” on the library whiteboards or behind a bathroom stall

showed up to the wrong building on his final because the building abbreviations were similar

doesn't even flinch and walks in leisurely 20 mins late

somehow did decent??? life is unfair

wonho

lives in the campus coffee shop!

cause it's warm and cozy and it smells nice! and of course aesthetics™ 

barista seungcheol seeing wonho every morning when they open: oh you're here again??? :o

wonho: yeah!! :D

but it's cute they eventually become friends and wonho gets free refills

when u thought... the :D smile couldn’t get any cuter... the corners lifted up even more…  how could seungcheol resist the :3

his finals are mostly practicals and oral exams so he doesn't hit the books in the general sense

brings a bunch of papers anyways and takes aesthetic study pictures even though everyone who actually knows him know it's a lie

is the type to rewrite his notes cause they’re not ‘pretty’ enough and ends up wasting time

hey he's doing it for his other followers ok... they don't know how soft n meme he is yet...

he's really good at his practicals and he has the materials down but somehow struggles with the presentation aspect of his oral exams :((

he stutters a lot and he gets nervous... so it seems like he doesn't know what to do when!! he actually!! knows his stuff!!

so he gets shownu and kihyun to help

wonho: uhh.. next.. you would u-uh.. probe the... i forgot!! I can’t do this i’m sorry!!!

kihyun: no!!! ur doing so well!! come on!!

shownu: yes

practiced a lot and aced everything! buys lunch for the crew cause he's so happy...

shownu

is a TA alongside being a grad student!

grad students still have finals! hyunwoo has 2 finals, a paper, and a project presentation so he’s bUSY

but he cares for his students a lot.. is the only TA who actually bothers prepping for his exam reviews (where he unknowingly gives hints)...

student jinyoung: so is this exact example gonna be on the final?

shownu, sweating nervously: uh,, uhh... no?

his official office hours are 3 hours a week but he always makes time for his students!! he always tries to stay in his office a lot in case they need help!!

hyunwoo loves his subject and he doesn’t want anyone who has interest in it to lose interest because a class is bad

keeps a healthy supply of kihyun’s cookies (kihyun stress bakes and it’s most apparent during finals) in case of a sad or stressed student

king of giving partial credit and everyone loves him for it

exams graded by shownu have an A- average

ends up caring too much and not paying enough attention to his own finals... 

loses a couple of hours of sleep but makes it in the end!!

gets a stunning TA review and a fat bonus

puts the bonus into good food… blissfully ignoring his thesis

-M