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auteurdelabre · 6 months

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Something to Fight For (Part Ten)

Word Count: 10.0

Pairing: Dad!Joel Miller x f!reader (no use of y/n, no age or physical descriptions)

WARNINGS: Potential trigger of abandonment. Self Pleasure. Brutal conversations.

A/N: The story is gonna twist and turn and you may want to jump ship. But I hope you can trust that as your captain I’m gonna get our two leads to a safe and happy shore.

Hours after the heat has cooled from his veins Joel calls you. With a pounding heart he holds the phone to his ear and silently begs the universe to help him. To have you forgive him his initial devastation.

You don't answer.

You're on a train. You're on a plane, he tells himself. You'll call him when you stop.

But you don't.

For the next two weeks Joel calls you every day leaving messages asking you to explain what's going on. He doesn't ask Maria anything because it feels like an overstep. He don't know how much she knows about you two.

But he needs to know you're okay. He tells you that he wants to be there for you, that he's sorry he left in a huff. He'll go to wherever you are if you'll just call him back.

He wants to prove that he'll be there you just need to call him back so he knows if he's overstepping or not.

He even tries texting. Just one word.

Please.

You never answer him. You don't text or call or make contact with him in any way.

When at Christmas dinner with Tommy, Maria and Sarah he overhears from Tommy that you've contacted Maria, that you're safe, Joel feels extreme relief and then a crashing devastation.

On New Years Eve he gets spectacularly drunk and spends hours thinking about you. He considers asking Maria where the fuck you are. He wants an address. He'll fly wherever you are and see you and make you explain. He'll make you listen to him apologize. He'll do anything to be in the warm sun of your smile.

But when he sobers that first day of a new year and he realizes it's going on week three of radio silence getting you, something starts to shift.

He doesn't tell Maria or Tommy about you two. Why would he? There's nothing to tell is there? You were never his and he was a fucking idiot for thinking you were.

Joel doesn't get to have things like Tommy does. Joel gets wives who leave him. Joel works hard and gets things taken from him.

Over a glum lunch Sarah, who had been so distracted by Christmas gifts and parties and Santa, asks where you are. It's the sight of her concerned face, the panic that you're not coming back that strengthens his resolve.

For the first time in almost three weeks he doesn't try to contact you.

///

Then it's January.

You never call.

He stops waiting for you to.

///

The wheels of your plane touchdown in Austin the first week of February. It's been six weeks since you were last here.

You've used up all your vacation time. Poor Alex had been called upon to run things the entire time. But you'd called to check in, helping with what you could over the phone.

You're paler than when you left, your face more pinched. Maria notices this when you exit the airport and approach the car dragging your suitcase behind you.

"Missed you. Ready to go?"

You nod, letting her embrace you. She knows not to ask anything about your trip. You made that clear on the phone earlier then week.

She drives you through the nearest Tacodeli to get a breakfast taco, something you've been craving all month. Something you can't get back in Chicago.

You think about returning to work. It seems impossible. Everything seems impossible.

You swallow your breakfast thoughtfully, your eyes going to Maria driving solemnly.

"How are things with Tommy?"

"Good," Maria replies in a voice that sounds tight. You make a mental note to touch on that later.

"Frank and Bill still adorable as fuck?"

Maria relaxes at this and starts giggling. "Frank wants to plan this big Valentine's getaway and Bill's nagging him about budgeting. Says they spent enough on their Christmas party."

"Valentine's?" Your brows furrows as you observe the rapid passing of time. "Wow I didn't realize how..."

You trail off, biting into your taco and watching the passing scenery. You tilt your head back against the seat, your heart hammering as you think of the next topic you want to touch on but can't.

Joel.

When you get home Maria orders you to change into the pyjamas she gives you before joining her upstairs. You do so, leaving your suitcase on the bed before opening the bag she gave you to see candy cane nightgown. You laugh, pulling it on and entering into her place smiling widely.

She's decked the entire living room out to look like Christmas. The artificial tree in your place has been brought upstairs, along with all the twinkle lights.

Maria is wearing a gingerbread man robe and she laughs at your reaction, bringing you over a hot cocoa.

'Maria," you say motioning to the room. "What the fuck-"

"You missed Christmas!"

She sits you down cross legged on the sofa before bringing out a large armful of gifts.

"You still have presents, to open," Maria says dumping the lot into your lap. She sits back in her chair sipping her warm drink and looking on at you like a proud mother on Christmas morning.

You laugh again before you start tearing into your gifts. A sweater you’d been eyeing and a biography on Jane Goodall. Both from Maria and both perfect.

There at the bottom of the pile is a rectangular box. You're curious as there's no name on the outside, no card. Maria eyes it curiously as you tear the paper open, pausing as you see its contents: two photo frames.

You feel a ragged breath escape you as you bring the frame out of the box, your fingers trembling.

It's the photo of you and your parents. The one from your fifth birthday where your arms are hooked around their necks. The one ruined in the flood, the one you thought you'd lost forever.

You glance up at Maria's tensed face.

"Is this from you?"

Maria shakes her head. "Uh, Joel actually asked me to get the photos for you. I called your mom and she had copies."

You stare at the photo, your fingers tracing your youthful face behind the glass. You reach in the box to grab the second frame and are not surprised to see the blurry photo of Pongo you thought was gone forever.

Your eyes are wet, so filled with tears that when you blink they spill over your warm cheeks effortlessly.

"When?"

"Back in September I think? Right after the flood," Maria says as you sniffle. "He asked me not to tell you in case I couldn’t get the photos. Think he said he made the frames himself. Tommy says he likes to wood carve."

He'd done this month's before. Back when you were convinced he still hated you. He'd spent time making the beautifully carved frames for two photos you said meant so much to you.

"He said he didn't get me anything," you say in a quiet voice.

Your fingertips are slipping along the wood frame of the photo. Little details have been carved into them. Flowers and hearts for your Mom and Dad. Little butterflies and paw prints for Pongo.

Hours later after the presents have been opened and Maria has forced you to eat the expansive holiday meal that has you feeling sated but bloated. When the sun has set and you feel yourself getting drowsy you take your gifts and go back downstairs.

You put the photos on your fireplace mantle. They’re beautiful there.

Then you crawl into bed, pulling the covers over you.

It's a week and several forced meals and showers from Maria later that you emerge from your cocoon ready to face the world again.

You know who you want to contact first.

///

The thing is your last meeting with Joel is kinda blurry. Obviously the night before had been the the sexiest you've ever experienced in your entire life. Joel's face when you told him you needed him in your mouth will be forever etched in the deepest recesses of your brain.

It's just the next morning that you can't recall. You'd been so tired, so distracted. You know he'd come to get you for breakfast and that you'd told him you couldn't make it.

But that's all. You hadn't even waited for his reply before your mind had been distracted by thoughts of plane rides and taxis and you'd started closing the door.

His messages in the following weeks had been devastating. Apologizing for not waiting. His voice rough with emotion as he begged you to call him back.

The thing is you'd felt no anger towards Joel. Not at all. Him leaving so abruptly had significantly lessened your burden that day. You'd wanted to be alone.

Before Joel you had Paul and before Paul you'd had yourself. You'd never been able to count on men. And you're confused why Joel carries this heavy burden, as if he thinks he was supposed to come in and chase away your demons.

You never wanted him for that.

You wanted him because in the darkest of days he's the sun.

But now you know that you just have to call him. You tell yourself you don’t have to tell him everything that happened. But you do need to speak to him. He deserves some sort of an explanation.

"Hello?"

After so many weeks of not talking to Joel, just the familiar rumble of his voice causes your insides to melt. Neediness travels through your veins at the first sound of Joel's low rasp.

You'd thought this was a good idea. A way to phone and explain yourself. But now? Now it seems like the worst thing you could have done. You should have done this in person. You should have done in when you could have held his hand in yours.

"Uh, hi," you say suddenly anxious. "How are-"

"What do you need?"

Joel's voice is quiet but sharp, stabbing into your ear.

You hadn't been expecting that. Maybe you were naive, but you'd thought that maybe he'd be kind. Soft and gentle like the Joel you know.

But of course he's upset. Wouldn't you be? From his perspective you'd promised not to run and then done exactly that. Even if you had a good reason, even if. . .

Suddenly there's the sound of Sarah in the background and cutlery being placed on the table and you feel your breath leave you.

Sarah.

Your sweet, little bug.

Your heart pangs at the sound of her little giggles. You want to be there in the house, hugging her, kissing Joel. You want to be back in their universe. You want that comfort, that security. You want the warmth of being with the Millers.

But in order to do that you need to be honest with Joel. You need to tell him everything even if it hurts. You can trust him. You can tell him.

"I know it's been a while since we spoke."

Silence. His disinterest is palpable, so much so that you're shocked he answered the phone in the first place.

"I just wanted to explain what happened."

"Not necessary."

You feel as if you've been slapped across the face. The brutality in how he's speaking feels physical.

"Joel, I just-"

"Are you wanting dessert?"

You feel your stomach bottoming out at the sound of a woman's voice on the other end of the line. Her voice is husky and warm and it sounds like the tone of woman comfortable in her surroundings.

And you know in that moment that it’s too late.

You’re too late.

"Yep, just finishing up here," Joel calls back. There's a pause and you can almost feel his jaw flexing through the phone. "Anything else?"

Disappointment isn't even close to how you feel right now. You close your eyes and feel your chin tremble.

"Nope," you say quietly shaking your head. "That's everything."

"Bye."

///

Alex is elated to have you back at work. She’s not a demonstrative person by any means, but when you come into the office your first day back with a package of VooDoo Donuts as thanks for her hard work, she wraps you in a tight hug and welcomes you back.

You settle into your office, hanging your jacket and your eyes draw outside to the kennels. They’re built. They look stunning and sturdy and Alex tells you they’ve been able to be used in the time you’ve been gone.

Joel will have no need to come back here. His job is done. Another way he is slowly being pulled out of your world.

When you’re settled in for the day Alex comes into your office and drops a sheet of paper on your desk. She’s smiling widely, almost bouncing on her heels. You read it over twice before the news hits you.

The sanctuary has been approved. The grant is coming your way.

For the first time in weeks, you feel true, untarnished joy.

///

You and Maria are both on your sofa and holding magazines on your laps. This is one tradition that you've never lost over years, the catch up over wine and magazines.

You like the ones on fashion and movies, Maria likes ones like architectural digest and celebrity gossip. Normally you share the articles that catch your interest, but tonight Maria is withdrawn. You sensed it the moment she came into your suite laden with magazines.

You watch Maria perched on the end of the sofa, her legs curled up underneath her. She's biting the skin around her fingernails, a classic sign that something is wrong and when you prompt her, she turns her large eyes on you and you can see they are filled with tears.

"I'm worried Tommy's cheating on me."

You weren't prepared for that to come out of her mouth. You place your wineglass on the coffee table and fix her with a look you hope conveys your disbelief.

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"He's so busy I never see him and when I do he's so . . . Distracted." Maria sighs heavily. "And he's getting secretive."

This catches your attention and not in a good way. Secretive is not the kind of word you want to hear in a relationship.

"Like how?"

"I asked him where he was last Friday because he was late picking me up from one of the showings. He told me he had a real long meeting at the Bison. But then I'm having coffee with my real estate friend Melanie on Sunday and she says she saw Tommy that same day in Cedar Park."

"Was he with anyone?"

"Mel says he was with some woman that she didn’t recognize.”

“It was probably a meeting for the company.”

“If it was then why lie about where he was?”

You've never seen Maria like this. She doesn't get like this over men. She's the one to break things off at the first sign of trepidation. With Tommy and Joel's company doing so well she has been seeing less and less of him and it's obviously taking a toll.

“Tommy is not like that,” you insist, even thought your stomach wobbles. “I see how he is with you. How he looks at you. He’s fucking crazy about you.”

Maria shrugs.

"I’m sure the woman he was meeting with was a client. And he hasn’t been around as much because he's busy with that new army base project," you say patiently. "And you know Tommy and Joel, they're meticulous. They take their time doing everything perfectly. He's probably just so focused on the project now that he can't think of anything else."

Oh yes, the Miller boys take their time. You know from experience with the elder Miller.

Stop it.

"You're probably right," Maria says but you can tell she doesn't believe you. You want to press it but you don't. Maria knows she can come to you when she's ready. You stand up and go to your record player, popping on one of your favorite vinyls and plopping back onto the sofa.

Her mood has lifted slightly and she points out a kitchen she’s inspired by. You listen but your mind is far away on Rancher Lane.

Joel.

Fuck, you wish you could stop thinking about him. But now that you've known him in this carnal capacity it seems impossible to go back. You think about his broad shoulders, the way his mouth felt against yours. So soft and warm.

During your time away a few things had become apparent to you and one of those had been that being with Sarah and Joel made you feel contented. Not just when you're watching Sarah, but also in those quiet moments when the three of you are curled up on the sofa watching TV, the laughter over the dinner table, the feel of Joel watching you from the doorframe as you tuck Sarah in.

And you've fucked it up.

You ran and you cut yourself off. The clear indication that you weren't interested. He shared the most vulnerable side of himself and you ran. You ran after promising you wouldn't.

Yes, you can blame some of it on the circumstances, but how many times had you looked at the phone and thought of calling Joel only to chicken out? How many times with a tear-streaked face and heavy heart had you reached for the phone as he called only to turn it off?

And now it's too late. You're too late you just know it. You fucked up everything.

Maria watches you go back to your magazine for several moments. She rests her head on her palm as she regards you.

"Are you ever going to tell me what happened with you and Joel?"

She sees the way your eyes widen as they follow the page.

"Nothing happened, Maria," you say with a heavy sigh.

You can tell Maria most things, but this is a topic that you just want to ignore.

"I know something happened with you two," Maria challenges and all of a sudden you can see her how she must be at work. All business, her face flat.

"Nothing did," you lie. "What are you talking about?"

You're pissed off. You have no desire to share what happened. You're humiliated at how you handled everything and going over it is just going to make the ache stronger.

"That night when Joel came up to you at the party. He looked so upset."

"Yeah I remember.”

"So what did he say?" Maria is leaning forward on her elbows. "Because he asked Tommy to take Sarah home. I was there with Tommy when Joel got home later that night. He was fucking elated. Couldn't stop smiling even when Tommy told him he looked psychotic."

Your heart thumps painfully. Joel was happy about you two. Happy about what was hoping to happen next and you fucked it up.

You always fuck everything up.

"Maria I don't want to talk about Joel anymore."

"But-"

"I'm serious," you say. Your tone is harsh, much harsher tone than you have ever used with her. "I've had a horrible couple of weeks and I'm tired of everyone assuming there's something there between Joel and I. There's nothing there. We're barely even friends."

Maria falls silent, adjusting to this information. You can tell she doesn't believe you at first but there's such sincerity to your tone that she's not sure.

"I have nothing against Joel," you say with finality. "I love babysitting Sarah. But that's it. That's all that'll ever be."

///

It's Wednesday night and you and Alex have decided to go for dinner after work. Alex wants to see more of the places that the locals eat at. You decide on a Mexican place nearby, assuring her it’s the most authentic you've ever tasted.

You both order drinks, chatting animatedly about the sanctuary when you

Tommy is sitting with a woman around his age. She's very expensive looking and she smiles toothily at Tommy as he speaks excitedly. They’re sitting close to each other, their shoulders almost touching. At the sight of this you feel ever nerve ending in your body pulled tight.

“Gimme a sec,” you mumble to Alex. “I just saw a friend I need to talk to.”

You and Tommy, while peripheral friends, have never talked much or even hung out independently of Maria. So it’s no surprise that as you near his table the first niggles of self doubt touch you.

Maybe it’s all a mistake? A misunderstanding?

Then the woman excuses herself from the table just as you arrive, giving you the perfect moment to strike and so you propel yourself forward. Without ceremony you toss yourself into the recently vacated seat across from a shocked Tommy Miller.

“I suggest the tamales here,” you say coolly. “They’re great for sharing.”

Tommy looks terrified. His eyes have gone wide. He has papers on the table that he shuffles under his arm.

"W-what are you doing here?"

"Better question is what are you doing here with her?" You point in the direction of the woman who has just exited the table.

"It's a meeting about a construction job," Tommy says but you can see the lie in it. "So do you mind-"

You lean forward across the table, your chest almost knocking over the Margarita at Tommy’s elbow.

"If you are screwing around on Maria, Tommy, I will personally see to it that you live the rest of your days as a dick-less wonder. People will come from miles around just to view you and laugh."

Tommy is staring at you open-mouthed. You realize Tommy and you have never been particularly close. He doesn’t know this side to you. The side that will fight and protect with all she has.

“You don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.” Tommy’s tone is strong but his dark eyes are owlish in his face.

“If you hurt Maria Tommy I swear on all that is holy, I will tear your life apart brick by brick. I will spend every waking moment of the remainder of my life finding out new ways to cause you pain.”

“I would never hurt her,” Tommy insists, looking both agitated and terrified as he sees the woman exiting back from the washroom. “I promise I’ll explain everything to you later. But right now please go before she gets back."

“Why?”

“I can’t-“ Tommy flounders, trying to find the right words. “It’s just, you gotta go.”

"Oh yeah, wouldn't want to spoil your date,” you say with a sneer before picking up the margarita his date has left. “You absolute piece of shit."

You throw the drink it into his face like something out of a bad sitcom. Tommy stares at you covered in pale yellow drink, bits of salt sticking to his cheeks. A lime wedge flops comically onto the table between you.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Tommy’s face has erupted into fury. You go to lunge for him but Alex has you around the middle and she's tugging you back. Tommy’s date has returned, looking between you and Tommy in shock.

"What on earth?" The woman is watching you being dragged away from the table.

Alex practically carries you out of the restaurant, not letting you go until you’re both buckled into her car. When your heavy breathing has subsided she starts the car, not offering anything but a pointed look and:

“I think you need some new friends.”

///

When you receive a knock on your door later that night you don't expect a Miller man to be standing there.

Unfortunately it's not the right Miller man.

It's Tommy looking anxious as he greets you. You glare at him, angry and then confused by his presence at your door. He doesn’t smell like margarita so you assume he had a shower at home first.

"Can we talk?"

You consider your next moves. Do you punch him in the face? No, you need all the information. Then if it's as awful as you think it is, then you'll punch him in the face.

Good plan.

"Fine. Come in."

You motion to the table, quickly shuffling your paperwork off the chair nearest to him so he can sit. You've just made yourself a cup of tea and offer him one which shakes his head at.

“Don’t really trust you with a drink in your hand,” he cites with a small smirk. “’Specially not a hot one.”

You don’t say anything to that. When you eventually take the seat across from him he stares at you for what seems like forever. The kind of stare that has a million questions behind it.

"Tommy what the fuck is going on?" You press him. "Are you cheating on Maria?"

Tommy immediately blanches, almost spilling your tea. "W-what? No. Never. I love her!"

"Because you'll never do better than Maria," you begin to rant. "she's the most perfect most beautiful woman in existence!"

"I know!"

"She's not just beautiful she's also wickedly smart and if she wanted she could be president, Tommy. Not vice president. Not secretary of state. President.”

"I agree. Everything you said is true."

"Then who was that woman? Why were you being so secretive?"

Tommy gives you a hard look, his lips pressed together in a thin line. He gives a glance around the kitchen as if expecting spies before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small velvet box.

"Please don't say anything," Tommy drops his voice to a conspiratorial whisper as he cracks the ring box open. "I'm proposing."

Anxieties about everything are erased the minute you look to the ring box. Inside is a delicately carved gold band and diamond. It's elegant and no nonsense, just like Maria.

"The woman-"

"A friend from an old job," Tommy assures you, looking down at the ring proudly. "Maria always wanted an heirloom ring. You know how she feels about blood diamonds. But it was hard to find a good one. Then Joel suggested Betty, that's her name, she works in vintage jewellery. Took months of going back and forth before we found this one."

You feel so fucking stupid. "That's why you were in Cedar Park?”

"How did you know that?"

"Friend of a friend," you say with a sigh. He doesn't need to know that friend was Maria.

“Betty had a lead on a really good piece,” Tommy says with a sigh. “She said I needed to come out to Cedar Park to see it and decide that day because there was another interested buyer. Waste of a fucking drive though ‘cuz it was hideous. Not Maria’s taste at all.”

You look at the ring he decided on, seeing that even in this small token he sees Maria.

"Tommy I'm so sorry."

Tommy's eyes are amused. "Good to know she's got Mike Tyson in her corner. Well, Mike Tyson if he was a bartender."

You move from around the table and throw your arms around Tommy's neck, hugging him and laughing. Every angry thought you'd ever had about him is instantly erased. He gives you a one-armed hug back, laughing along with you.

"Oh my God!" You shout as you pull back. "When? Where?"

"Valentine's Day. It's the only way I can surprise her. She thinks we're going out for a romantic dinner and dancing."

You're swooning, knowing just how Maria is going to react. And now Maria's panic over her "distracted" boyfriend make total sense. You want to laugh and cry all at once, so you decide on smiling with tears in your eyes.

"She's gonna be so happy."

"Sure hope so," Tommy says smiling shyly. "But I need your help to pull out off."

"Me?" You're surprised and delighted. "Of course. Anything you need, just ask."

"Great, is there any chance you're around on Saturday night? It's why I came over."

Tommy smiles over at you looking hopeful. Saturday is Valentine's Day. A day you've been dreading since Paul broke things off last spring and Joel stomped all over your heart.

You had plans that involved a bath, a big glass of wine and discounted chocolate. But of course this plan will be moved happily for your dearest friend and her future fiancé.

"Sure, what for?"

"I need you to babysit Sarah."

The smile immediately dies on your face. You lean back in your chair, your eyes drifting to your mug.

" Is Joel helping you propose or something?"

"No, he’s just busy that night."

Of course Joel would take a meeting on Valentine's Day night. You give a half-hearted chuckle at the thought.

"Did you tell him you're proposing? Can't he just cancel his meeting that night? Who meets on Valentine's anyway?"

"It's not a meeting," Tommy says, still smiling at the ring box. "It's a date."

The world tilts. You physically feel it spin on its axis as Tommy tells you this. The woman you heard on the phone. You were right. You were fucking right. That horrible pit in your stomach, the one you’ve been trying to ignore, widens.

"A date?" You say before you can stop yourself. "Joel?"

Tommy gives a quirked brow at your response. "Yeah. Some mom of a kid Sarah has play dates with all the time."

The twist in your gut takes your breath away. You feel cold and shaky and have to sit down. Tommy is so wrapped up in his dilemma that he doesn't notice.

You know who he's talking about. Fuck, you've even seen her. You can't remember the name right now but you remember the way she'd smiled at Joel when he came to pick Sarah up. You can vividly recall the casual way her hand had brushed against the small of his back.

Tess. Yes that was her name.

"They've been going out a few weeks and this kinda stuff is important to him," Tommy explains with a soft look as he pockets the ring. "Joel has always done everything for me. Sacrificed everything when our mom got sick. Bailed me out when things got too much. I think he really likes Tess and I don't wanna fuck it up for him."

I think he really likes Tess.

Really likes Tess.

Jesus Christ that's like a blow to the sternum. You place a steadying hand to the table.

Tommy takes a seat across from you, his dark eyes filled with concern.

"You okay? If you're not feeling well please don't feel pressured. If you can't babysit I'll just reschedule, it's -"

His voice fades into the background as you think of your friend. Maria has done so much for you and she deserves the world.

One awkward evening, that's all it is. And you'll get to see Sarah. Plus your best friend will be getting engaged. How can you possibly say no?

You can't.

"Of course I'll babysit," you interrupt with a croak. "What time should I be there?"

///

Later that night as you lay curled in bed sobbing you hear the gentle chirp of your phone.

You sniff as you flip it open and bring it up to your face.

Any chance u wanna get together for coffee? Chat?

You pause, looking at the text before closing the phone.

You don’t delete it.

/////

Joel doesn't know how to function this week.

You called him finally, after weeks and weeks of silence. Just the sound of your voice had made his knees tremble. He'd had to reach for the kitchen counter, holding himself upright.

When later that week Tommy tells him about his engagement plans and having you babysit Sarah, Joel initially balks at the idea. He'll reschedule with Tess - she's a practical woman, she'll understand.

But Tommy had been insistent, telling Joel he didn't want to fuck this up for him. Tommy is so rarely earnest like that it had made Joel relent.

And now you're coming tomorrow and he's what? Supposed to act like everything is fine?

Fuck that.

Sarah is asleep and Joel has been drinking. He does that more often now. Not enough to be a real concern, but enough that he notices. He calls you without pausing to check if it's too late to call. You answer on the first ring.

“Hello?”

"Hey."

Joel closes his eyes, a wide hand going over them. Your voice is so sweet in his ear. "Hey I’m sorry if I was a bit short when you called the other day. You surprised me is all and I had company over."

"Oh. Okay."

You sound so sad. He can imagine you sitting in bed, covers around you as he talks.

“Glad you got home safe,” Joel offers awkwardly, wondering how he thought this conversation could ever go smoothly.

“Yeah, it’s good to be back.”

"Why didn't you call me? I left so many-" Joel catches himself, embarrassment covering him before he’s compelled to continue. "Is it your dad? Your mom? Or was it something else? Paul?”

Joel can't stop himself from asking more and more questions. He needs to know why you did this. He just needs closure. He hears your breathing on the line, shallow and tense.

"I really don't want to talk about it Joel," you eventually say and that hollow, empty voice is back. The same one he'd heard that day he came to get you for breakfast.

"Right."

Joel knows there are tears gathering at the corner of his eyes and he blinks them back. As much as he wants to talk to you right now, it hurts. Too much trust has been dismantled on both sides.

Sarah's anxious face when she asked where you were? He can't have that for his daughter. He can't risk everything on a woman who'll run and leave nothing but silence in her wake.

Maybe if he was a young, childless bachelor he'd do it. He'd pursue you and convince you to tell him everything, to confide in him. But he's not young or childless. And you’re not telling him.

"I had my reasons, I just never told you what they were," you continue with a tremble in your voice.

"Why?"

“It’s my choice to tell people things when I want to tell them. And I wasn’t ready. Still don’t think I am.”

He wants to push it. He wants to be in that room with you, his hands on either side of your face, forcing you to look at him. Forcing you to tell him what you’re hiding from him. He thinks he knows and it makes him sick. But he needs the confirmation.

"Joel, it's not supposed to be this hard, is it?"

"What isn’t?" Joel's stomach clenches when he hears your shuddering breath.

"Being together."

Initially Joel doesn't know what to say to that. “We're we really ever together?"

There's a thoughtful pause and then your sad little voice again.

"No. Guess not."

Joel feels absolutely sickened by this entire conversation. He didn't know what he'd expected when he called you, but it definitely wasn't this. This grim finality.

"I think I hoped if I just came back that things'd go back to how they were," you're saying in a voice no longer hollow, but still not completely you. "But I guess they can't."

"No," Joel acknowledges quietly. "I guess they can't."

"But maybe we can try friendship?"

A stab to the abdomen would have hurt Joel less. He physically recoils, his eyes slamming shut.

Friendship? He’s supposed to go back to being your friend?

"I don't know," Joel answers through closed eyes. "I don't know if I can. Not quite yet."

Joel evens his breathing, knowing that there’s nothing else to say to save the two of you but dreading the act of hanging up, of severing the final tie. Then your voice reaches out to him, tentative across the line.

"Can I still see Sarah? Can I still babysit tomorrow night?"

Joel is quiet for a long while considering.

"Yeah. Sarah would love to see you."

//////

Saturday night arrives and with it a bundle of nerves you can't seem to shake.

Rancher Street.

The bus lurches to a stop and you hasten an exit, pulling your purse up your shoulder. The door seems larger than you remember. Taller. When you knock it feels like it echoes forever. The door opens with a quick whoosh and you hold your breath as two familiar dark eyes slide into view.

Joel.

You see the flash of something in those eyes, something warm as they sweep over you before the chill is abruptly back.

"C'mon in," he says, the tone of his voice unreadable.

He's painfully gorgeous. There's no other word for it. His hair is combed, his shirt freshly pressed. He smells like cologne, an expensive, spicy scent. It makes you want to bury your face in his neck.

He never usually wears cologne. He usually smells like wood shavings and laundry detergent.

The knowledge that he's wearing it for her, Tess, makes you want to heave.

Tess. What a stupid fucking name.

You follow Joel into the kitchen and feel your stomach drop. On the counter is a bouquet of deep red roses wrapped beautifully. You don't have to be a genius to figure out these ones are for Tess. He's pulled out all the stops for her.

It wasn't so long ago Joel was bringing you flowers.

He's not even wearing jeans tonight; he's actually got dark slacks on for this date. He looks so fucking good, so divine, it causes you to physically ache. You remember how his curls felt under your fingers, the taste of his lips on yours. You want to kick yourself for fucking this up.

"Work been good?" Joel asks with his eyes on the clock.

"Yeah, just busy," you offer feeling awkward. "Got a meeting with the city next month about the sanctuary. Looks like we got the funding."

"That's good."

"Mhmm."

You could cry over how awful this interaction is. How stilted and awkward the two of you look and sound standing across from one another in the kitchen.

Grateful doesn't even touch on how you feel when Sarah suddenly skids into the kitchen. She screeches, throwing her arms around your waist tightly until you give a small "oof". You curl, hugging her gently.

"How have you grown so much?" You ask in awe, shocked that not even two months could make such a difference. You could swear she looks taller.

"I got a My Little Pony for Christmas," she announces, not caring to answer your question. "You wanna see?"

"Sure."

She goes to her seat at the table and pulls out the pink and purple pony before announcing: "I named it after you."

"You did?"

"Yeah. I missed you."

Sarah is smiling up at you in a way that brings tears to your eyes. You blink them back, cupping her cheek with your hand.

“I missed you too, bug.”

After everything this is one of your biggest regrets. Your isolation from everyone included Sarah, the sweetest child to walk the planet.

You had forgotten Joel was still there, watching you both until you hear him clear his throat.

"I'll be back around midnight. Emergency numbers are by the phone, like usual. Pizza should be here pretty soon."

"Okay."

Sarah clamours up on the chair, sliding into the booster seat with your help. You smile down at her, chatting away to her pony. In your peripherals you watch Joel pull on his jacket and grab the bouquet of flowers from the counter.

In another life maybe those would have been for you.

In another life maybe it could have worked between you two.

You hear him walk towards you along with the crinkling of the cellophane wrapped flowers. He comes to stand next to your seated form. He's so close you could tilt your head and rest it on his hip.

You smile as you see his hands come into view, watching as he passes one of the roses to Sarah by the stem, making sure to strip it of it thorns first.

"Happy Valentine's Day, babygirl," he says with a kiss to the top of her head. Sarah takes the flower gleefully, pressing the lush petals to her nose and inhaling.

"Okay daddy, you can leave now," Sarah tells him calmly. You laugh at her bluntness and catch Joel's dimpled smile in response.

"Guess now that your best friend is here again, poor ol' dad's just second fiddle," Joel says with an exaggerated frown as he motions to you.

"It's not your fault," you assure him as you smooth Sarah's hair with your hands. "I'm just that wonderful. Right, Sarah?"

"Right."

She really is just the best kid.

Joel doesn't reply to that, but then again you never expected him to. The tension from before seems to be ebbing, it's almost like things are slowly going back to how they were before.

This is good. This means there’s hope.

Joel watches you stand and move across the kitchen. You go to pull down some plates for the pizza from the cupboard. When you turn to go back to the table you're surprised to see Joel is still standing there looking at you.

You feel your heart picking up its tempo. But then his phone buzzes on his hip and you know without asking that it’s Tess messaging him. Immediately you feel your heart retreat from your gaze and you force a smile.

"Have fun tonight."

Joel nods, presses one more kiss to Sarah's head and then he's gone out the door. You hear his truck rumbling away and only then do you breathe normally again.

The pizza arrives shortly after and you inform Sarah that if she's really good and eats the salad that came with it, she can eat dessert in front of the TV later on. She is very amenable to this suggestion.

"Daddy is seeing Miss Tess," Sarah tells you as she takes a bite of her cheesy slice. “She was here before.”

He's already brought her into this home?

Of course she has you moron. She's seen Daniel and Tess at school how many times? How many play dates?

"Daniel's mommy," Sarah says in a hushed voice, frowning when you don’t reply. You feel your stomach bottoming out at this. Your eyes widen before you school your features, staring at the oblivious girl opposite you.

"Does Miss Tess come here a lot?"

Sarah ignores your question and instead starts babbling about something happening with Daniel's hamster, Zippy. You hold back the desire to keep peppering her with questions.

However she continues to drop little hints throughout your evening together. The next one comes when you're in the kitchen washing up from dinner. Sarah sits at the counter with her paper and crayons making some elaborate hearts on the page. A Valentine for her dad, she tells you later.

"That's the cup Miss Tess used," Sarah says pointing to the oversized green mug you're soaping. Joel's favorite mug.

It takes everything in you not to smash the thing into pieces. Two months ago he had his mouth between your legs, now he's bringing some new woman here?

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

"What's Miss Tess like?" You ask, trying to sound casual as you wash the dishes in the sink.

"Tall."

That's all you get from her for now. She continues coloring and you continue doing the dishes in silence. You catch your reflection in the dark window in front of you and are shocked at how devastated you look.

It was just a night. A night of pleasure. You didn't make lifelong promises to one another. You admitted mutual attraction and need, that's all. And even if it's not all from your side of things, Joel has clearly moved on. And you can’t be mad at him for doing so.

When you finish up, Sarah is putting the last finishing touches to her card before gripping it in her tiny hand and holding it out to you.

"You have to give this to Daddy when he gets home. It's my Valentine for him."

You look at the little pink envelope covered in Snoopy stickers and smile. You take it from her, seeing her uneven printing on the front. Love. That's all it says. You smile fondly at her. You idly wonder if she’s too young for a ‘romantic love is an illusion’ conversation.

"I think you should give it to him when you wake up tomorrow," you offer.

"No." Sarah looks uncharacteristically agitated. "It can't be tomorrow. Tomorrow isn't Valentine's Day."

You give a sharp nod, making your face solemn to convey you understand the gravity of delivering this missive.

"I see."

"Promise me you'll give the card to my Daddy tonight?"

"I will."

"Promise," she says holding up a tiny pinky in your direction. "A real promise."

You hook your pinky around her tiny digit and shake, smiling. "I promise, Sarah."

"Good."

The next 'Miss Tess' tidbit comes as you're putting Sarah to bed. She's watching you rifle through the books on her shelf.

"Miss Tess has light hair. Lighter than yours."

"Hmm," you say bringing a few book over to her bed. "Wind and the Willows again or Charlotte's Web?"

You decide that you don't want to hear anything more about 'Miss Tess'. In fact you don't want to hear anything more about Joel or whomever he decides to date ever again.

You have to close your heart to him or this will be the last time you'll see Sarah. The last time you'll read to her, last time you'll laugh with her.

It'll be the last time you can join Maria and Tommy at theirs for a party that the whole family is invited to.

It'll be the last time you can venture upstairs to Maria's without fear that Joel might decide to drop by.

Because you have no right to be upset. You don't. You kissed him, let him make you come and then ignored him for almost two months. What was he supposed to do? Know the crazy inner workings of your fucked up brain? Know the sordid story of your horrible life?

No. You need to be happy for him and for Sarah. If this Tess woman is as great as everyone makes it seem, then you have to be happy for Joel and Sarah.

You have to.

"I missed you reading," Sarah tells you when you bring the blanket up to her chin, tucking her in an hour or so later. "I like it when you read best 'cuz you do the voices right."

You try not to feel unnecessarily smug about that.

You tuck her in, feeling distracted as you press a quick kiss to her forehead. She can sense that the nighttime routine is coming to a close because her tiny hand reaches out to grab your sweater.

"Say 'goodnight, bug'" she prompts you.

"Goodnight bug," you say pressing another peck to her forehead. "Get some sleep."

Sarah nods, closing her eyes and rolling on her side. You can hear her murmur something to toad and you smile as you close her bedroom door.

You walk down the creaking hallway, ready to walk down and watch TV. But as you pass Joel's room and you see his door is ajar you pause.

Joel's room. You remember how in awe you had been the first time you saw it. How surprised by every detail. Now in the dark of night it seems alluring and seductive. It beckons you to explore, to touch.

You draw over to it, your hand moving independent of your brain to pull the door completely open before stepping inside and closing the door tightly behind you.

The first time you’d seen his room there had been lotion on beside table, a horse picture above the bed. Now the lotion is gone, the side of his table cleaned. The horse picture is still there though, calling out for all weary travelers.

You step in further, your eyes going over the books on his shelves, the fan that hasn’t been used since the summer. You trace your hand along the exercise bike in the far corner, a towel draped over it. Does he use it?

You sit on the edge of his bed, pulling open the drawer next to it. You think you might see something interesting inside. Your curiosity is peaked. It opens with ease and it takes you a full moment to realize what you’re looking at.

It’s the guitar strap and pick you got him for Christmas.

This sight causes you to leap to a standing position. Joel kept the gift? He must have picked it up when you weren’t looking, dazed on the sofa. But he kept it? Still? Why is it hidden away?

You don’t want to think about that for too long. Maybe he’s hidden it because Tess will ask him where he got it. He doesn’t want her to see it. He wants to pretend you never existed to him.

You stop. You’re hurting your own feelings.

You see one of Joel's t-shirts hanging over the dresser. He'd obviously tried on a few before deciding on the linen one for tonight.

He made the right choice, you acknowledge. He'd looked amazing tonight. Memories of how good he'd looked are making your lower abdomen flip pleasurably. A depraved need washes over you.

You feel as if you're watching yourself from outside your body as you lock Joel's door before striding back across the room.

"Stop," you murmur to yourself even as you lower yourself onto his recently made bed. It's surprisingly soft.

You settle back against the pillow, your hands on either side of you like you're in a plush coffin.

He's touched himself in this bed, you just know it. You can picture his work wide hands stroking himself to completion. A man like Joel feels deeply, works hard and has needs.

Fuck you want to be the one to sate those needs and you never will be. But you don't let your thoughts linger there. You want to enjoy this stolen moment.

You turn your head on the pillow, your eyes sliding shut as you inhale. It smells masculine, deep and musky mingling with the scent of his shampoo and laundry detergent.

It smells like Joel.

And that is what makes it impossible to stop. Because when you close your eyes you can almost imagine he's there with you. You can imagine that he came back the next day after the party and everything was fine. You can imagine that he’d backed you into your place and fucked you there on the floor, the both of you too desperate for each other to make it to the bed.

Your fingers are fumbling with the button and zipper of your jeans before your hand is thrust under your panties in a fervor.

Flashes of memory and fantasy intersect, bursting in searing snapshots into your mind. Joel's hands on either side of your face as he kisses you. His mouth on your neck as he fucks you in this very bed. His brows knitted together as you suck his cock. His tongue skating over your nipples. The feel of his soft mouth on your twitching core.

This is so fucked up. You know this, you're so painfully aware of how fucked up this is. And yet you can't stop yourself from thrusting into your hand, from murmuring his name over and over. You whimper his name like an oath, a desperate, needful prayer as you feel his phantom touch.

All at once the memory of Joel's head between your thighs assaults you and you see stars.

Your head is thrown back as you come, your moans muffled by the hand you've sealed over your mouth. When your hips finally stutter to a stop the shame hits you like a slap in the face.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

You readjust your jeans, throwing yourself from the bed with a yelp. You rush to the bathroom, washing your trembling hands. You can't even look at your reflection right now because you know what you'll see. Cheeks stained with humiliation, shame clear in your features and overwhelming regret in your eyes.

You go downstairs and force yourself to watch bad TV. You have it on quietly and even though you try to focus on what’s happening and why some beautiful woman would be married to some loud-mouthed lout who works as a delivery driver, you can’t.

All you can think about is the passing of time. How late it’s getting. You keep tilting your head to look at the clock hanging by the kitchen. Then your watch because you’re certain the kitchen clock must be moving slowly.

Nope.

Eventually it’s past midnight. Joel had said he would be home at midnight, hadn’t he? You start to feel irritated. You’re here babysitting Joel’s kid and he’s definitely off fucking Tess. You’re certain of it.

Your thoughts don’t linger there long because an ungodly scream has sounded from upstairs. A heart-wrenching scream with your name in it. You nearly trip over your own feet running up the stairs, your heart in your chest. The door to Sarah’s room is yanked open so viciously you’re convinced you pulled it off its hinges.

“Sarah!”

She’s sitting up in bed shuddering and holding toad. She bursts into tears when you rush in, her arms reaching for you as you approached. You throw yourself onto the bed, pulling her tiny frame into your lap. She throws her arms around your neck, her sobs loud in your ear, her face wet with her tears as you rock her back and forth.

“Shh,” you soothe gently. “I’m here, honey. I’m here. You’re safe.”

You rock her like this for several moments, listening as her sobs become hiccups and then finally just ragged breaths as she pulls back from you, looking up at you from your lap.

“Wanna tell me what happened, bug?”

“Someone hurt my Daddy,” Sarah says and you can see the tears starting again. “He was in the forest and someone took him. They hurt him.”

You hold her tightly to you again, making soothing sounds and rubbing her back. “No one’s gonna hurt your Daddy, I promise.”

Time passes and eventually Sarah is calmed enough to climb back into bed. She looks to you with her big eyes, terrified in the dark as you bring the blanket to her chin.

“Will you sing me a song?" Sarah begs. "A nice one."

You give a good natured groan, thinking back to songs you know all the lyrics to. You remember the song Bill sang to Frank that one evening, the sweetness of Bill's reedy voice. You can't remember all the words but you know the tune. You start of at what you remember, tucking Sarah in for the second time that night.

Caught in my fears

Blinking back the tears

I can't say you hurt me

When you never let me near

And I never drew one response from you

All the while you fell all over girls you never knee

"What does that mean?" Sarah interrupts.

"I think it means that the girl singing is in love with a man but he doesn't know she exists," you say trying to piece the song together. "So she's really sad about it."

Sarah nods, her eyes starting to shutter. "Keep going."

You laugh, trying to remember your place. You hum a few bars, trying to recall where you left off.

Cause I've done everything I know

To try and change your mind

And I think I'm gonna miss you

For a long long time

You really go for it, your voice clear and strong. As you sing your fingers trail over Sarah's forehead, lulling her to sleep.

Cause I've done everything I know

To try and change your mind

And I think I'm gonna love you

For a long long time

Your voice drops to a whisper as you sing the final verse. Sarah's eyes are almost all the way closed.

"Goodnight Sar-"

"Do you love me?"

You're not expecting the way her tiny voice reaches you in the semi darkness. It takes your breath away, tears starting in the corner of your eyes. You swallow the knot that has formed there.

You look down at her little face and feel the answer is so obvious. Has been for months now.

"Yeah," you answer truthfully. "I do."

Sarah smiles widely, gripping your hand in hers with her eyes still shut. "Will you sing the last part one more time?"

Oh she’s a good little manipulator.

"One more time," you insist with a faux grumble. "Then sleep!"

She nods and you sing a very quick very quiet rendition of the last verse before pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"Deals a deal, bug."

"I like that song," Sarah nods sleepily before craning her neck to look at her bedroom door. "Do you like it, daddy?"

Your breath catches as you jerk your head over your shoulder to see Joel leaning in the doorway of Sarah's room. His arms are crossed over his broad chest. You can't see his eyes, but you know he's looking at you.

"I didn't know you were there," you say feeling your cheeks reddening.

"Didn't want to interrupt," Joel says softly.

"Sarah had a nightmare," you say standing quickly. You feel like you should offer something else but you stand awkwardly instead before you sail past him, heading downstairs. You hope he can't see the pink high in your cheekbones.

Joel enters the kitchen minutes later, his dark gaze focused on you.

You want to ask him how the date went. Obviously they've been seeing each other longer than just tonight if Sarah is anything to go by. How long exactly was it after he kissed you that he fell in with Tess? Tommy didn't say. Have they slept together yet? Has he said the same things to Tess as he said to you as he worked his mouth between her legs?

Doesn't matter. Not your business.

"She was really good tonight," you tell him as you look for your jacket, locating it in the kitchen. Your eyes fall on the pink envelope from earlier.

"Before I forget, this is for you," you say sliding the thick Valentine card to him across the kitchen counter. "Sarah was adamant I give it to you before I left."

Joel looks distracted. He would normally be opening the card to see what his daughter created. But instead he just stares at it on the counter.

When you stop to look at him you notice he actually looks quite pissed off. This confuses you. He reaches into his back pocket to grab his tan leather wallet.

"Are you ok-"

"You can't tell her stuff like that," Joel interrupts gruffly pulling the bills from his wallet.

"What do you mean?"

"That you love her." Joel's eyes finally reach yours when he says it. "She can't have women saying they love her, comin' in and out of her life-"

"Who says that's what I'm doing?" you ask offended.

"It was bad enough with her mother," Joel is ignoring you, talking over you and looking upset.

"I'm not her mother," you defend. You would never do what that woman had done to Sarah.

"Damn right you're not."

His eyes are blazing and for a moment you think this might be the cruellest thing Joel Miller has ever said to you.

He tosses the wrinkled bills at you on the table and you hold back the overwhelming urge to slap him. Instead you clench your jaw, levelling a scorching glare at him.

Joel leans over the counter, his hands braced there. He can't look at you.

You stare him down furiously for a moment longer nonetheless before pulling on your jacket and heading out the door, leaving the money beside the Valentine on the counter.

It's not until you're at home in bed that you allow yourself to cry.

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courtlyharlequin · 1 year

Note

Can you do vil, rook, and epel with a s/o who has tattoos because they used to be in a gang please ?

Permanent Ink

A/N: I hope you don't mind that I slightly changed your request to just the reader having a tattoo. The origin is unknown. To be frank, I don't know anything about gangs and I'm a little hesitant to research about them for fear of coming across anything triggering (T⌓T)

Vil Schoenheit:

He's the type of person that thinks that tattoo sleeves are tacky. Too much of anything especially in beauty, fashion and aesthetics is going to come off as tacky. Too much makeup can make your face look cake-y. Too much crystals on a wedding dress will take away from the fabric's beauty. Things like that. So, tattoo sleeves are a no-no for him, but that's just him personally.

If you have a sleeve, cool. That's how you express yourself and if you feel confident with it then good for you. Vil won't make you feel bad about it– especially if there's meaning behind it.

If you just have one, two, or a few tattoos spread out on your body, he'd probably like that more in terms of artistic taste. Vil is fond of the smaller tattoos like wings on your back, a ring of ink around your fingers or some writing on your rib. They're discreet, but they're enough to make a statement

The first time Vil ever saw your tattoos, he was a bit surprised. He never expected you to have any for some reason. Perhaps it was because he never saw them so he just assumed you never had any.

He'll ask questions right off the bat. What's the meaning? Or did you simply like the design?

Don't hesitate to ask him for thoughts on a design or even help making one! Though he's not a tattoo artist, he can work with a pen and paper and give you some ideas

Rook Hunt

He would... stare and your tattoo(s) the first time he sees it. No questions just examining the details, the lines, the curves, and the colors. Whether how obvious it is depends on how observant you are.

But if you did catch him, Rook would tell you that they were just so mesmerizing that he couldn't help himself. Then, you could welcome the basic questions people usually ask about tattoos: "did it hurt?", "what's the meaning?", etc.

But what shocks you even more is when he starts asking about which parlor or artist did it? He's quite knowledgeable about tattoos, leading you to asking him if he's had any... a question that he skillfully dodges.

If you had a small tattoo on somewhere discreet like your collarbone or wrist, Rook would kiss your tattoos there. He would also absentmindedly trace along the lines of the ink whenever he's deep in thought, sending shivers down your spine with his dexterous and light touch.

One day, out of the blue, he might even coin an idea of getting matching tattoos. It could be your initials or something symbolic like two turtle doves that make a heart when you put your hands next to each other's.

"It's romantic, isn't it?"

Epel Felmeir

Epel would be the most vocal reaction out of the Pomefiore trio when it comes to finding out you have a tattoo. Something like "WOAH!"

If you have a sleeve or colored tattoos, his reaction will be even louder. He had always assumed tattoos only came in one color.

It's honestly a really cute reaction. He asks if he can touch it and spends a good amount of time examining your skin. He then asks if he can try something then unironically does a Chinese burn on your forearm to see how the ink holds. And surprise... the ink is still there! It didn't rub off! But your wrist is a little sore...

In general, he's just super curious and inquisitive about your tattoos. His grandmother never allowed to even think about getting one... but yes he wants one. Just a tiny one.

Maybe one that his grandmother can't find so easily. Epel hasn't really thought of the design yet, but maybe you can help since yours is so well thought out? Making tattoos designs together seems like a cute date idea!

He'll even go with you to a tattoo parlor to check things out if you ever invite him or decide to get another tattoo. He wants to watch and see how it's done!

#twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland imagines #twst imagines #twisted wonderland headcanons #twst headcanons #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #vil schoenheit x reader #rook hunt x reader #epel felmier x reader #pomefiore

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bri-sonat · 11 months

Text

Captain and the Mate - Part Two

If you haven't already read it or you would like to refresh your memory, part one can be found here!

Pairing: Pirate!Captain!Brienne of Tarth x Fem!Reader

Warning: NSFW!!! a grain of angst, a lot of smut, and some delectable fluff.

Synopsis: When the infamous Captain Bri makes port to recruit members to her crew, you don't waste the opportunity. To your relief and pleasure, she accepts you, and the time spent aboard her ship and among her crew leads to many things. One of them being a relationship developing between you and the Captain herself.

A/N: We have reached the final part of the fic that was too long to post as a singular fic (I have learnt from my mistakes and from the community, mwah, I love you all) and it is time for the smut! I debated adding smut or not, but I felt like my grand return after months of fanfictional silence had to include smut. It wouldn't be a bri-sonat fic if it didn't have smut (I say now, but when I write a fic without smut, I'll be revoking this statement.) However, after this one, I will be putting my next fic idea on hold to create some very exciting things with my dear Kaley! Since I am proven to be unable to focus on two projects at once, I will need to work on one thing at a time which is why I will be allowing my other idea to simmer for a little bit. Anyways, with that said, English is not my first language, and so on. Enjoy!

Thank you to baby girl, @daydream-cement for helping me choose what kind of smut to write and also for sending the picture. Kisses. <3

When Bri opened the door and entered, she stood to the side and let you step inside as well before she closed the door behind you.

As your eyes wandered about the quarters and took everything in, taking her in, she walked up to her armor stand and hung away her weapons. “Would you like anything to drink?”

You continued your eye tour of her room and you even dared to take a few steps forward towards her desk where, seemingly, her only personal items resided. “No, thank you, Captain.”

Keeping Bri in your peripheral, you approached the desk and swiped your eyes carefully over the items laying on the wood. There was a jewelry pendant, either from some form of necklace or bracelet.

It was surprisingly shiny, and you assumed that she must polish it every now and then which showed that it was very important to her. It showed care.

Lying next to the pendant was a small knife that seemed to be as cared for as the first item. The blade was Valyrian steel, there was no doubt about it. Judging from the small scuffs and scratches along the metal, you could tell it had been well used in many ways.

From the corner of your eye, you could see that Bri had turned around and was watching you. She made no motions to move toward you. Instead, she stood still in her place just meters away from where you were standing and observed you.

The reason for this was hard for you to decipher and eventually, you stopped trying to. After what seemed like forever, the captain started moving forwards toward you and halted next to you.

There was a deafening silence as you both searched for the words to continue your previous discussion. Any way you twisted and turned it, it wouldn’t be as seamless as it had been earlier.

The best idea you could come up with after agonizing minutes of quiet was to start up another conversation and transition into the other one from there. “This blade and the pendant seem very cardinal to you. I-” You used the items in front of you as inspiration but couldn’t get far in your sentence before the blonde next to you interrupted you.

“It’s Brienne.” Her approach to the situation at hand seemed to be ripping off the band-aid. It was frank and straight to the point and it most definitely worked as a way to get back to the previous conversation. Because of its unexpected nature, you snapped your head and made eye contact with the blonde woman which was truly your mistake because it made you realize just how close she was to you.

“Brienne...” Her name tasted like fresh strawberries on your tongue, and you knew that you’d never get tired of saying it. You never stopped gazing into her eyes which seemed to be even more intense being so close to her magnificent face. Almost like her blue irises hypnotized you, the next words that fell out of your mouth couldn’t be stopped, having wanted to be spoken for months. “That’s a pretty name. Fitting for a very pretty person.”

Her entire face fell. She shook her head and took a tiny step back, making your entire being long for her warmth that had seemingly disappeared in more ways than one. “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?” You couldn’t help the way your brows furrowed or how the perplexment in your voice made you look and sound like a giant question mark.

“Call me pretty. You somehow found out about my interest in you and decided to taunt me for it?” She sounded hurt, and it broke your heart in two. Did she really think that you’d dream of mocking her? You had no interest in wounding her and the fact that you had done that without meaning to, made you feel extremely guilty, even if you meant what you said. The guilt didn’t last long when your brain finally registered what she said, and after that, it was all you could focus on.

“...Your interest? You’re interested in me? I- I called you pretty because I think you are. Amongst many things...” You took a tiny step towards her, so she’d have the chance to back away from you if she felt like she needed to. To your relief, she made no sign that she was about to move away from you. Your voice was tender as you spoke to her, wanting to convey the utmost sincerity, upping the chance of her believing you.

“...You do?” Brienne sounded so small, almost frail as she responded. It absolutely shattered your heart. The fact that this woman thought herself unattractive and had believed it for so long that she found it inconceivable that someone could think the opposite. You wanted nothing more than to take her into your arms, but you didn’t want to cross any boundaries, so you settled with her taking a step towards you as being good enough at the moment.

You matched her movement, taking a cautious step towards her whilst you kept an eye out for even the tiniest change in her body language. “I do. I should probably clarify that I am very interested in you as well, Brienne of Tarth. I have been for many, many moons.”

Brienne took one final step and when she had stopped, she was closer than she had ever been. You had to crane your head slightly to meet her eyes and the way she looked at you made your knees weak. There was no way to put a finger on the specific emotions she had in her eyes, but you recognized one very well. Adoration. “I have been too. I am glad that you feel the same.”

“As am I...” She was so close that you felt like you were about to faint. You allowed your eyes to flick down to her lips and you let them remain there, making it painfully obvious to Brienne that you wished for her to plant her lips on yours. But in case she didn’t get that you desperately wanted to kiss her, you needed to speak it into the very thick air. “Now, please kiss me or I might lose my mind.”

Brienne didn’t even waste a second. It went faster than you had anticipated and all of a sudden, you felt her very soft lips on yours. Your arms wound around her neck instinctively to keep her close and her hands landed carefully on your waist. She had to bend her knees slightly and you had to stand on your toes so your lips would be able to touch, and it was very awkward for both of you. The captain was fast at remedying this.

With your lips still connected, Brienne lifted you by your waist and placed you on the desk you had previously been studying, her finding her place standing between your spread legs.

The movement had made your previously glued lips shift, and your bottom lip had ended up between the captain’s lips. Your previous somewhat innocent kiss had in seconds transitioned to open-mouthed kisses. The blonde woman’s hands resting on the wood on either side of your hips and effectively pinning you in didn’t help in making it any less erotic.

The kisses had started as controlled, but they were growing sloppier by the second as desperation for the other, and passion took over entirely. In the sloppiness, Brienne’s tongue had run over your bottom lip and between kisses, you and the captain’s tongues met and swirled around each other before retracting and then repeating until you were both out of breath.

Both you and Brienne had acknowledged the heat that had been growing in the core of your abdomens whilst you had been making out and whilst you wanted nothing more than to be so intimate with the captain, you knew that you had to make sure that she wanted the same before taking it any further.

When the kiss broke, you and Brienne panted against each other’s lips, and she was the first one to break the silence. She retracted her head which prompted you to open your eyes, and you met her intense blue ones, yet at this moment, the blue was almost nowhere to be seen because of her dilated pupils. She spoke with heavy breaths and when she did, you could feel that the heat only grew. “I want you. Please.”

You had to suppress a whimper at her plea. You could barely believe your ears that Bri the Righteous Beast was pleading with you to give her you, as if you hadn’t wanted to give yourself over to her for months. “You have me. What do you want?”

Brienne closed her eyes almost as if she was embarrassed to admit what she wanted you to do. Then again, she never imagined that she’d end up in the position she had found herself in, less speak the words that were being yelled inside her head out loud. When she finally met your eyes, she opened her mouth to utter the words she needed you to hear, and they came out sounding tremendously timorous. “I need you to touch me.”

The words sent a jolt of pleasure through your body. Of course, you’d touch her. You’d been wanting to touch her for months. It would be no bigger privilege than to touch her and offer her all the pleasure she could ever want. Brienne’s hands were still glued on the desk on either side of your hips and your arms were around her neck, your hand running up her nape and into her incredibly silky curls. “It would be my pleasure.”

Your response made Brienne shiver and she leaned forward to catch your lips in a searing kiss, this one was only more controlled and slowed down. You both needed to take your time with this next part; savor every single second of it. There was no rush with this.

Kissing Brienne was pure bliss and the way she jolted when she felt your hands disappear from her neck and land on her waist only made it so much better. You were slow and deliberate in your movements, wanting to give her the chance to stop it if she needed to before it went too far.

But it was also for you. You had been yearning for this, for her, for months and now that it was finally happening, you needed to treat it like the most valuable art piece, because that was what she was. A piece of art.

The fabric wrapped around Brienne’s waist was tied tightly, and after some fidgeting, you got the knot loose, and eventually, you placed the blue cloth next to you on the desk you were sitting on before bringing your hands to the buttons of her loose shirt.

As you were undoing the first few buttons of her shirt, you broke the kiss so you could see every single inch of skin that you uncovered through your ministrations. When you did and glued your eyes on the path your hands took, Brienne swallowed the biggest lump in her throat.

Never had someone regarded her so intently before and she couldn’t say that it didn’t feel wonderful. Even if she felt exposed and shy, she let you undress her as slowly as you wanted to and watch as you did. The feeling it gave her made her feel ecstatic.

When the final button was undone, you gently pushed the shirt open and let it remain on her shoulders, you’d remove it later. She looked far too attractive like this, and you couldn’t rob yourself of that just yet.

You focused your attention on the wrapping which was covering Brienne’s chest. It seemed to be a makeshift undergarment to hide her breasts considering the shirt she wore and for practicality and it looked like she had taken some random white fabric and wired it around herself. Well, you’d assume that it was white once upon a time. Now it was more of a beige from all the dirt over the years. As well as the occasional blood spatter.

You moved your hands to begin unbinding it but were stopped when Brienne placed a gentle hand on your wrist. You moved your eyes to meet hers, needing to see her face to decode why she had halted you. The look on her face was shyness mixed with care and you couldn’t begin to guess what she was thinking. “I want to see you as well, please. I’d feel too exposed if I was the only one undressed...”

“Of course.” You smiled at her before removing your hands from her chest to rid yourself of your clothes, but Brienne stopped you again in the same way as she had previously done.

“Let me,” she cooed. And you did. You dropped your hands to your sides, and you let her take your tunic off. Brienne’s eyes never left yours, not even as she fully uncovered your chest. When the captain finally allowed her eyes to wander, it was like someone had punched the breath out of her and she gasped before meeting your gaze once again. “You’re so stunning.”

“So are you.” You smiled gently before you continued your previous movements. Your hands fiddled with the cloth and as you had done with the blue fabric, you started unraveling the dirtied white cloth.

The rest of the cloth fell off on its own when enough had been removed by you and your breath hitched in your throat when you laid eyes on Brienne’s beautiful breasts.

There were no words that could properly describe all that she was. All you could think was that she was so insanely handsome, and attractive, and every single other word that escaped you. She made you speechless, took your breath away, and made your heart skip beats. And that would have to describe it enough for now. “So beautiful...”

Your hands moved to cup Brienne’s breasts and when she felt your touch, she sighed happily. You experimented the smallest bit by running your thumbs over her erect nipples and the noise she made when you did could’ve killed you if you weren’t already in heaven. It was a mix of heavy breathing and a gasp, and Gods, was it arousing.

As much as you wished to give her nipples all the attention they deserved, you didn’t think you could contain yourself any longer, and you were sure Brienne wouldn’t complain. You needed to taste her so badly. It was the most invading urge and you needed to satiate it, or you didn’t know what you’d do.

Pressing two quick kisses to both of Brienne’s nipples, you moved your hands down to her trousers and your fingers began working on unbuckling the offending clothing item that hindered you from tasting your captain’s heat.

As your hands worked on Brienne’s trousers, you reconnected your lips with hers and you were now softly kissing. The blonde’s hands were resting comfortably on your upper thighs and her strong hands being so close to where you needed to feel her the most was driving you mad with lust. It felt like you were burning up from the inside and where she was touching you felt like it was on fire. Your desire for her was overpowering.

When Brienne’s buckle was undone and they hung open on her hips, you realized you couldn’t stay where you were. It would be far too uncomfortable. So, you broke the kiss to croak out the smallest amount of words your lustful brain was able to conjure as you took off the shirt that was hanging on her shoulders. You wanted to see the entirety of her. “We should move to the bed.”

Brienne swallowed. “Okay.” She then picked you up by your thighs and carried you to her bed, placing you carefully down onto the furs that lay upon it. She climbed in after you, and when she had laid down, you maneuvered yourself to sit before her so you could take off her boots and trousers.

With her pants finally off, you were finally introduced to her bare long legs. You followed them with your eyes and at the top, you could see a wet patch in the middle of her undergarments and when she noticed what you were looking at, she instinctively closed her legs and covered her chest with her arms. You met her eyes. “You don’t need to do that. There is no need to hide yourself from me. You are so gorgeously hot.”

Your words caused her to relax, and she spread her legs – removing the arms that hid her chest at the same time. Gods, she was a perfect and arousing sight. With her legs spread, her chest exposed and heaving, her face flushed, eyes full of prurience. The vision that was her spurred you into action and your mouth took the same route your eyes had just taken.

Kissing up her legs until you reached her supple inner thigh, you hummed in delight when you heard the gasp that released Brienne’s lips once you nibbled and started sucking on her skin. “Please...,” she whimpered. “Please make me feel good.”

You sat up in between her legs. “Anything for my captain.” Trailing your hands up to her hips, you hooked your fingers in the sides of Brienne’s undergarments, and she elevated her hips so you could pull them down her remarkably long legs.

She laid fully naked before you and she looked ethereal. She always did, but she somehow managed to look attractive all the time and it had driven you insane for months – as it did at this moment as well. You took a minute to take all of her in and the words simply tumbled from your lips. “You’re so irresistible... so beautiful... I really can’t explain how attractive you are.”

She blushed from your compliments and opened her mouth to repudiate, but before she could - your eyes had locked on to her glistening wetness, and you didn’t waste another minute. Diving your head in between her legs and getting comfortable on your stomach, you licked up her slit before circling her clit with your tongue which caused Brienne to interrupt herself.

Brienne hummed in pleasure, and you sucked tenderly in determination which only made her hums grow louder until they were soft moans. Her noises only drove you on – cycling between sucking, licking, and grazing with your teeth. All until she cried out in pleasure.

When she realized how loud she had been she stopped herself from releasing any more sounds that could act as an alarm. And even if you wanted nothing more than to hear all the noises she could make, you knew that it was for the best to remain as silent as possible.

Her hips were held in place by your death grip and her hand had found purchase in your hair, the other one squeezing one of your hands that lay on her hip. Brienne’s legs twitched next to your head when you managed to hit a particular spot with your tongue, and you felt dizzy from the whole ordeal.

Her taste made you lightheaded and you were sure you’d pass out from hearing her noises, seeing her blissed-out face, and tasting her cunt.

Gently grazing your teeth against her clitoris, you observed as Brienne’s eyes snapped open and met yours at the same time as her back arched, and a loud moan that she couldn’t stop exited her mouth. You quickly replaced your mouth with your middle and ring fingers temporarily, making small circles with them so you could speak. “As much as I wish to hear you... you need to be quiet. You don’t want to wake up the crew and alert them of your activity, now do you?”

Brienne whined, trying her best to stay quiet – but it just felt so good, even if her cheeks were burning from the embarrassment of being so noisy. You had to be satisfied with her lowering the volume of her noises. “N- No. I do not,” she breathed. She could barely get the words out, her entire being focusing on staying relatively silent.

“That’s what I thought.” You removed your fingers and placed your mouth back on her clit and resumed sucking and licking. She in turn let out a breathy mewl.

It didn’t take long to bring Brienne to the edge. A well-timed teeth graze sent her flying over the edge into pure bliss and with a strained sound, she tensed up before relaxing. She used the hand she had on your head to give it a gentle push, signaling that it was too much.

You removed your head from between her legs and crawled up to catch her lips in a soft and slow-moving kiss. Brienne hummed when she tasted herself in your mouth and you in turn yelped when she turned you both around without warning – leaving her on top of you.

“Allow me to return the favor, please. I have never done this before, but I think it’s only fair after what you just gave me.” Brienne gazed into your eyes longingly and, if you weren’t mistaken, lovingly. Her tone was so gentle and so caring that she could have been talking about something entirely different if it wasn’t for the tinge of arousal still remaining in her voice.

You smiled and nodded. “Okay. You may. Please.”

The captain was calculated but quick in her movements, taking off your boots first, then your trousers, and, finally, your undergarments. When everything was off, she took her place between your legs and made eye contact with you – her gaze questioning. As if you could change your mind or deny the one thing you have wanted for months.

In return, you spread your legs even more and offered her a reassuring look – a soft nod ending it in case your former actions didn’t bring the response forward.

With your confirmation, she placed her mouth on your clitoris and started sucking. Even though she hadn’t done this before, she was doing very well. She seemed to copy what you had done on her, and it felt insanely pleasurable – even more so because it was her doing it.

“Oh... Fuck, Brienne....,” you breathed. Everything leading up to this – the making out, the touching, the noises, seeing her undressed, her blissed out face, tasting her – had worked you up to the point where you were so incredibly close already. She couldn’t have been using her mouth on you for more than a few minutes when you felt the sweet release approaching faster than you would’ve liked it to. “That feels so good.... and you look so pretty in between my legs.”

If you could have decided, you’d want her in between your legs so much longer - so you could feel the way her tongue dragged through your folds and gathered your wetness on the strong muscle before sucking on your clit. Also, so you could see the way her eyes met yours when you spoke with lust clouding your voice.

Thinking about her tongue and mouth working on your pussy, and seeing the way she looked at you, only made the coil in your stomach tighten faster. Even if you wanted to, you couldn’t hold it back any longer.

You had managed to stay moderately silent up until now, but when you were sent over the edge and the ecstasy hit you like a steel hammer, your mouth betrayed you – opening and releasing a drawled, breathy moan.

You lay panting on the bed, your entire body becoming heavy and almost limp as you sunk into Brienne’s comfortable mattress. It was much snugger than what you and the rest of the crew slept on, that was obvious – or maybe the reason for that was because this bed was hers, and she was in it with you. You couldn’t be sure.

She had left the space between your legs and had crawled up to lie by your side, and when she took you into your arms you were sure that you’d fall asleep. You could. You wanted to. You knew that the crew would find it strange if you were not there when they woke up. Maybe you could find some form of excuse. You were up before most and got to bed when the rest of the ship was slumbering. So, it wouldn’t be improbable to sleep in the captain’s bed and everyone else would be none the wiser or suspicious.

You really wanted to allow yourself to stay by her side. Remain in her bed and fall asleep in her arms. And you did. You had to.

Brienne pulled the furs over you both to shield you from the cold and to cover your naked bodies and after she had done so, you remained in silence for a while before she broke it. “Will you stay the night?”

You looked at her, gazing into her irises through half-lidded eyes. You brought a hand up to her face and tucked a stray hair that had fallen into her face behind her ear. You smiled. “I will. Of course, I will.”

“Good.” Brienne smiled. A beat passed. Her hand splayed out over your lower back. “So, this friend of yours... she could be a good contact. She sounds like someone to know.”

You chuckled. “Probably. We’ll have to go back to Oldtown to talk to her though.”

Laying in Brienne’s arms was unlike any feeling you’d ever felt before. You felt so safe and secure, and her arms were so strong. And she smelled so much like her. You felt inebriated by her scent, and you couldn’t fathom how one singular person could make you feel this way.

There was no way around it. You loved her.

“Then I guess that’s where we are going next,” Brienne whispered. Her eyes scanned your face, and you could see that she wanted to say something else – but she didn’t quite know how to.

“So... You said that you had never done this before, but... you had a lover, no?” You had to ask. The query had been plaguing your mind since the bliss had been laid to rest and you remembered that she had hinted at this being her first time, but the fact that she had indulged in storytelling and therefore told you the extent of her relationship with the woman in the shanty, brought your curiosity to the surface.

Brienne chuckled heartily. It was a glorious sound. One you wanted to hear more, and more. Every day if so allowed and she bestowed you such a privilege. “We never consummated our relationship. The furthest we went was to kiss... she left before we could have such intimate relations.”

You hummed in acknowledgement, remaining silent as you crafted your next question that had been haunting your thoughts since she regaled you with the situation behind the song. “How’d they die?”

“He killed her, then himself. I couldn’t possibly know why, but considering I was the only witness, and the only person there, I assume that people drew their assumptions. Some bard caught wind of it, and the song was born.” Brienne held you tight as she answered all your questions, ready to be as open for you as she possibly could. There was no reason to hide herself from you anymore.

“Some people just do things out of reasons we couldn’t even begin to understand...” You thought out loud. You had so many questions for her, like why she had left Tarth in the first place, or why she only took from those she did, or why she named her ship The Bloody Sapphire, but there was only one you needed the answer to right now. “Last question, for now, I swear. What’s up with the overweening personality? The cocky person I met in the tavern is not the one I have gotten to know over the past months or the one I am lying in bed with right now.”

Brienne was silent for a minute as she searched for the words, and you looked at her face intently. “When you rule over a crew of two dozen men, you must harden yourself so they will respect you. My crew would surely respect me no matter the personality, but it has truly become a habit and when I am around my men, I slip into it naturally without even noticing it. However, it didn’t come naturally around you, and I had to actively step into it when I felt myself slipping. After a while, I just stopped correcting myself but sometimes it fought back. Like it was a second person living inside my body. Fighting for dominance. For example, the times when I had to excuse myself from our conversations. I didn’t want you to get to know that personality. But it seems like you disregarded that and saw right through me.”

You kissed her lips and smiled at her when you retracted your head. “Your eyes are more telling than you think. They are the windows to your soul... if you know what to look for.”

“And you did?” Brienne questioned; her tone careful.

“Somehow, I always did. Or maybe you just let me, even if subconsciously,” you responded, your eyes never leaving hers.

“Maybe...,” she replied. Her eyes scanned your face in search of the words she so desperately wanted to speak. “I do not know much about... feelings or emotions. But I know that what is inhabiting my body is strong... and deep – and I feel it for you. I know that I want nothing more than to fall asleep next to you every night and wake up next to you for as long as this world allows us to. I... I...”

“I know,” you interrupted. She did not need to say more, because you already understood what she meant and what she wanted to say. You wanted to say the same thing, but each thing has its time and so does this. “Me too.”

Brienne smiled and kissed your lips. You smiled back. The air was silent and the sea around you was calm as you fell asleep in each other’s arms.

The future promised nothing, but you knew that as long as you were allowed the privilege of having her in your life, you’d be happy no matter what the outcome of your life ended up being.

Your captain, and her Quartermaster.

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taglist: @na-shoba, @pastanest, @the-fuck-do-i-know, @christies-fleur, @idontlikepexple, @lord6-6fandom, @sapphicmitski

pirate bri exclusive tags: @alexusonfire

#gwendoline christie #brienne of tarth #brienne x reader #brienne of tarth x reader

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alviy4n · 3 months

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You say, "I want to be your girlfriend"

It wasn't really in my plans

taken aback by your sudden confession he simply said " sure why not, i'll give you a chance " his hands inside his pockets while observing every action you do.

the way you fiddle with your hands, bottom lip being bit and your eyes that wander everywhere but his eyes.

When you're around, I got arrhythmia

So in the end, I play pretend

he didn't really pay you any mind at first, but when you confessed his eyes linger around you now. everytime there's a fight he looks over to your area. oh there's some dude who's about to attack you from behind? here comes mikey saving you and reminding you to also mind enemies from behind then immediately running off to fight more dudes.

You've got the (uh) of a cool dude

But you should know I like it hot

to be frank you weren't his type. he prefers someone who isn't in the world of delinquents. the polar opposite of the girl he wants

But if there's really no denying what this is

Then come on, let's give it a shot (can you hear me?)

but damn he admits you have a very cool personality that he finds himself accidentally attracted to.

Well, I know

he knows you're trying to win him over, everyone notices in your division that you were more motivated, more strong, more energized to beat someone up in fights.

Well, it all depends

You say, "I want to be your girlfriend"

But do you want to be my man?

not only is he looking for a potential relationship but he wants someone who he can be his lover and his bestfriend at the same time. well aren't you a perfect candidate for that he thinks. You both are delinquents so you will understand his late night rendezvous and his passion for his gang

I'll treat you like you are a carry on

Like you're my one and only fan

My kindness is of a false pretense

I've got the ego of a God

come one you've gotta understand, he likes attention you're giving him. the way your cheeks blush when you find him only to see him already looking at you. or instances where you're wounded at a fight and he gives you a band aid which you will accept with shaky hands. there was also this time where he invited to let you ride with him to the shrine and he's smirking to himself because he knows you used this as an opportunity to hug him.

But if you take me in your arms

Be confident

I commit a character fraud

Stop, stop, stop

now is his time to be taken aback. you asked him on a date then he just found himself wanting to hold your hand??? he didn't see this coming. really, he swear this is his first time being so fired up for a prize at this stupid crane game and he really spent good money just to give it to you. he cant believe saying that your smile was enough and you don't need to repay him. he was dumbfounded so bad he just stood there all shocked. at the end of the date when he rode you back home, he told you " i had fun today, even though we didn't get to ride the ferris wheel because that line is so damn long " earning a little giggle from you that made him stop his stomping and sighing. were you this pretty before? i didn't know you could be this girly. i mean no offense y/n but you look so cute in your dress and your perfume and your hair and yo— he still have composure of himself. " well i'll be going now, good night y/n " you nodded at him and waved. he was about to joke about getting a kiss or even a hug but his thoughts were stopped when you pulled him in a hug. " good night and see you the next meeting, leader. " and gave him a peck on his cheeks.

#manjiro sano x reader #tokyo revengers drabbles #tokyo revengers x reader #Spotify

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flowai · 1 year

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The 12th house and it's meanings

Welcome! To reinforce, I mainly study traditional astrology so you can disagree with some of the things I´m saying, but understand it´s just another way to read into this study. I tried to brief and I might do another post with the 12th placements (planets, astral points, etc.) Enjoy!

In traditional astrology, the 12th house is portrayed as the place of "the bad spirit" (in contrast to the 11th, known by traditional astrologers as the place of "the good spirit").

Traditionally, some keywords to this house are; hidden enemies, suffering, death, troubles, injuries, spiritual problems, and more. The main reason for these dramatics is because the 12th house is right above the 1st, the rising line, meaning the true self of an individual. The things above you cannot see, it becomes a matter of the unconscious. When you have a physical or internal injury you can feel something is wrong with your body - the 6th house represents your physical health, if your 6th is afflicted, it mostly means health issues - but when your mind is not well, you can't just do an x-ray or routine exam, is something hidden from you, the conscious mind cannot access by its own. It makes it difficult to seek help because you don't know immediately.

place of isolation can be one of the significations of the 12th. placements in there tend to feel alone, as someone can never truly understand them. Sometimes that's the case. These placements can have a unique way to look at things, they tend to have an outside look at matters since the 12th is right above the ascendent line, so unconsciously, they put themselves out of the situation to have a better understanding of what's going on, and that can sometimes go wrong since they can be in it as well.

In my previous observation post and wrote that is very difficult to have malefic planets (Mars and Saturn) in the 12th, but I mainly meant Mars since Saturn rejoices in there. But a Mars in the 12th is an unhappy Mars, and the planet of anger and war being unhappy is not a thing. It's very uncomfortable because Mars needs a place of releasement, to let go of whatever thing is holding them back. But the 12th blocks any type of releasement mars needs, it can't see things truly, they're walking in a fog field with someone poking them. A common way of this appearing in an individual is that they can have a very difficult time admitting fault. It creates a victim complex of someone blind by their own errors, blaming the person next to them and creating scenarios that people are coming for them and they did nothing wrong. In my language, we have a saying that translating means "persecution mania", which is someone that thinks people are constantly trying to make the worst of them, and with Mars being there it can be true sometimes, but most of the time is just the anger not knowing how to get out. And to be frank, it manifests worst in men.

I know two guys with this placement (who didn't know each other btw) and the amount of gaslighting and pretending to be a victim of the situation was insane. I also know a girl with this placement who had some communication problems about anger, but it wasn't anywhere near the two guys. I say it's worst in men but not because of an astrological factor, it is simply how women and men are raised and what society expects from them. And when these men were raised thinking things would be just the way they wanted, when in face of frustration, they become massive manipulators who don't know how to acknowledge their own problems.

coming back to the 12th, aside from the negative significations, it can be a good place for spirituality. Is not material and nobody can take it from you. Is a place to travel with your soul and mind, not your body. To connect with something beyond what you can see and to accept we don't know everything. Sometimes things are hidden from us but are not always a problem.

At last, one of the key ways to have a good relationship with your 12th house is both the conscious and the unconscious. You need your consciousness to not put yourself as the victim of the circumstance, to understand that you have control of things, and not let your vulnerability be a weapon for others to use. And also to not be afraid of what you cannot see, feel, or touch. Realize the thin line between what's in your control and what is not and be satisfied with the choice you make. Practice your spirituality and do things you like, train your own wellness and satisfaction. Karma will come, you have the power to decide what type of karma you'll receive.

and feel free to comment any questions, suggestions, or thoughts you want to share!

xo!

#astro observations #astrology #astro notes #traditional astrology #astrology placements #astrology notes #zodiac signs #astro posts #astro community #astro placements #astroblr #12th house #mars placements #spiritualism #6th house

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kunekojo · 1 year

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Hii, I'm not sure if you write for these characters so I'm a little nervous, I read the list of ideas and I was wondering if you could write what it would be like to give a massage to zangetsu (including the hollow) and also to Ichigo, nsfw pls ^^♡

Heyyaaa, please don't be nervous! To be frank, I hardly started writing seriously a week ago and most stuff I felt like writing was Shunsui and Kisuke. So please, there's no need to be nervous about a few characters I did not yet write for! Honestly, I'm so sorry for taking this long but I wanted to make sure this comes out good

There's always room for more ^-^ I sincerely hope this is to your liking and that I did them justice.

NSFW Massage with Zangetsu (featuring Hollow Ichigo) and Ichigo x Fem!Reader

Warning: NSFW

Zangetsu

“You seem terribly stiff.” you point from behind as you carefully study the hint of restraint in his muscles.

“Do I?” Zangetsu turns his head and asks bluntly, a little taken aback by your remark.

“Yes, quite a lot.”

He can’t quite understand your capability to notice such tiny insignificant details, but it’s not unexpected of you given your observational skills. A little preoccupied with something else, he brushes this thought away. There’s no harm in restraint, so why should he be bothered by it?

“It’ll go away.” his short response makes you slightly furious. You are aware that the situation is not severe, but it doesn't mean he shouldn't take care of himself just this one time.

You've just seen him at work the past two days, so a little extra attention shouldn't hurt. It just will only last for a short period of time, not more. You reach out and seize his hand as you watch him turning to leave, which causes him to look at you bewilderedly as you clutch him tightly.

“I know but, can’t you let me take care of it? I promise it’ll be so much better afterward.” your pleading places him in utter confusion, what can you possibly do to ease up such a minor inconvenience?

Truthfully, it does cause him plenty of discomforts but not enough to halt him from tending to his work. Still, he can’t deny his curiosity, rather because he can hardly imagine what cure you might possibly hold.

“Take care of it? How?” he mouths softly, erasing some of the gaps between you two with tiny steps.

Zangetsu watches you silently with stern eyes holding a hint of intrigue, urging you to go ahead and speak.

“Would you let me give you a massage?” you offer timidly but the excitement in your eyes tells him this isn’t only about his back pain. But that won’t make him not take up your offer, especially since you give him your usual look of anticipation.

It doesn’t take him much to nod in agreement. He may not hold an interest in massages but if it’s something you wish to perform on him, he won’t reject it. However, his quick confirmation places you under so much cheerfulness that you immediately lead him to the bed. You signal him to take off his upper cloth and he quickly does it, placing it as neatly as possible on the nearest table.

“You’re going to enjoy it, trust me,” you reassure him to which he gives you a content hum and a slight smile beams on his face.

“Alright, I trust you.”

Once he stays still, you place your hands on his back, gently propping him closer to the softness of the matter. It feels so intimate to have him so close that you don't want to remove your hands from him. You even grease your fingers to make the experience better for him, but when you press against the sensitive portion of his skin, you can hear him groan. Even so, you don't feel any discomfort in his voice; rather, you hear maybe a hint of... Pleasure? It truly surprises you, making you want to look for additional places to hear him again.

Again, you stroke the appropriate area, but this time his grumbling is a bit louder, and Oh god, you almost seem to be enjoying it a little too much. Your cheeks are already burning red, but you try to contain it for a little longer to explore more of his body.

“Move your hand a little lower.” his low-toned voice stuns you but you comply with his request.

Fingers creeping lower against his skin, you press gently enough for him to let out a pleased hum. Then, you slowly make your way around his waist and swirl gentle long-pressed motions. Although you don't really know anything about massages, he seems to be enjoying himself as he guides you around just with the noises he’s making.

The feel of his muscles’ tenderness makes you want to wander around his front but this isn’t about you following your desires, it’s about giving him a good time. However, you can’t help but think about the image of you trailing along his chiseled pecs, deepening your touch with each grunt he gives. The way you’d caress his stiff shoulder, pressing yourself into him to grasp him from behind. You feel a fine tingle in your lower as your daydream’s features grow a little descriptive with the possibility of taking care of him in ways he likes.

The huff of his voice snatches your attention and you’re back to reality. You hear slightly ragged breaths coming from him and you wonder what’s going on. But as you pay a little attention around, you notice you’ve accidentally bent over his back with your hands tightly wrapped around his abs.

How did it get like this? You question yourself, a little embarrassed with your stunt. Feeling bad, you toss your body back but he’s quick to seize one of your arms, not letting go of you. His firm grip makes you gasp and right when you’re readying yourself to mumble an apology, he cuts you off.

“No, keep going.” he demands with a faint groan, bringing your hand back to where it was and you comply, drawing soft-pressed traces. Did you just make him horny? You must find out.

You lean forward and rest your head on his shoulders out of curiosity, letting your gaze drift down to his groin where you are surprised to see the prominence of his pulsing member. Its slight twitching makes your walls clench, urging you to gradually lower your hand. Zangetsu hums in satisfaction as you gently make your way to his downward and right when you’re close in range to it, he pushes his hand into yours and settles it on his crotch.

The sensation of his twitches makes you wonder how much he’s waited for you to touch him like that, but now it doesn't matter because you'll take proper care of his trouble. As another grunt squeaks out of his mouth, you teasingly wrap your fingers around his cock and stroke along the created line there.

You can feel the impatience in his motions, but once you draw your lips closer to his ears, you whisper. “Shhh, don’t worry, I’ve got you.” you can’t see the expression on his face but the relaxation of his tensed build helps you picture it.

You can’t bear to play with him, so you swiftly reach for his pants and unbuckle them open. When you slide your hand underneath his underwear and softly pull his throbbing cock out, Zangetsu breathes heavily, making you wonder how much it’ll take for him to burst.

You glide your hand across his shaft, jerking it at a slow pace but the sudden tightening of his hand around yours makes you jolt. You open your eyes and stare confusedly only to notice the coming of an unfamiliar chuckle.

“Grip it tighter.” the hollow urged you, steadying your own pace and you tried to keep with him.

His appearance takes you by surprise but not as much as previously and just by the shift of the atmosphere you can tell how much this situation will escalate. This thought makes you smile and you can barely wait to see just what’ll happen next.

Once he deems your jerks quick enough, his hand moves away, finding comfort close to your thigh. He bents his back to place it between your thighs as his fingers blindly reach for your cunt to shove soft presses. You gasp at how much he’s deepening his thrusts, slightly messing with your pace but you’re quick to compose yourself.

You both touch yourself rhythmically, panting with each heavy stroke either of you performs. But you can tell he’s much closer to his arrival than you, given he was the last to handle you. It compels you that you’ve got the upper hand so you must make sure he cums first at all costs.

You quickly move your palm up and down while letting out a small gasp as bubbles of cum begin to form on his tip. As you tighten your hold, he tosses his head back, giving you the opportunity to go faster.

You jerk him a couple more times and loudly pant in his ear, causing him to hunch his hips and slither as liquid rapidly drops down his cock and dribbles onto his jeans. He exhales quickly and appears to be about to fall over, but just as he turns to face you, you pull away from him, grinning in anticipation.

You can foresee his words just by the way he’s glancing at you intently as if he’s readying to do so much more.

“Now’s my turn.” He smiles mischievously and borders you in his arms.

Ichigo

“Ouch.” you hear him right next to you.

“What’s wrong?”

“Oh, it’s nothing. I think I pressured my muscles too much.” Ichigo replies, rubbing his chest but the noise of another pained gasp makes you clutch his pecs.

You massage the area with gentle pressings but despite feeling his soreness worsen, your touch gradually eases him up.

You swing your hand around as he's carefully observing your motions and he can’t help but wonder where you learned to do that.

“There, is this better?” You ask, parting your lips whilst you watch him closely for any more signals.

Your voice makes him lower his head to look at you, but when sees you staring at him with wide-open eyes and not halting your hands, a wave of warmth surges through him. The way you rub him feels so good that he can’t put into words how great it is but hum contently instead.

“Yeah, it is.” He approves, drawing his face close to your lips to place a smooth kiss. “Thank you.”

But right when he’s about to pull away, you tightly grasp his shirt.

“Hold up, where do you think you’re going?”

“Huh? What do you mean? It doesn’t hurt anymore.” He insists with furrowed brows, confused with the way you’re not letting him go. What was more to do?

“I know but it doesn’t mean there’s no need to prevent it.” You protest, a little unsure if massages work that way but it’s worth a shot.

You follow him with intent eyes, hinting that he has no choice but play along. You really won’t give up until he gets that massage, won’t you? Ichigo sighs in slight amusement at how precautious you are, giving into your wish. After all, it’s a pretty good feeling so why not have it for a little longer.

“Fine.” He agrees as a soft smile builds on his face as your trailing softens his body, filling him with a craving to feel you linger across his skin for much longer.

“Good, but I need you to remove your shirt.” Your implication takes him aback, stunning him momentarily.

“What? Can’t you just do it like this?” The timidness in his voice makes you chuckle, how can you tend to him properly with material slipping between your fingers? “It can't be any different with my shirt off.”

“No, silly. There has to be no obstacle for this to be effective.” Your explanation sounds a little far off but he doesn’t really want you to stop at this point. But the way you indicate it'll feel better makes him burn with a little intrigue. “Or I can just leave you be and-“

“No.” The shifting in his voice makes you blink at him curiously. It takes you by surprise just how quick he replied and you can’t help yourself but wonder what made him change his mind?

You lean toward him to observe him better but the look of pleasure in his eyes tells your traces are simply that good. However, the way he watches you so tensely gives you a vibe of uncertainty.

“Are you sure? Ichi?” you search for his reassurance which he provides by gently pulling your hand away so he can take out his shirt.

“Yes, Y/N. Don't worry, go ahead.” he smoothly presses your fingers against his chest and you gaze back at him, returning to your pace.

Feeling his muscles so plainly helps you rub him better than before, thing you're able to tell by the way his body relaxes. You focus all your concentration on the area but Ichigo can't seem to look anywhere else but at you, as you do your little performance. His eyes dart to your face and stay to observe your firm expression with great interest. But when you part your lips as you lose yourself in touching him, he can't take his glance away from their tenderness.

Have your lips always been this fleshy? He wonders, desiring to run his finger across them to test it out, but he won't interrupt you when you're this focused. Still, his mind does the trick for him, picturing how you would probably lift your head to look into his eyes. It's the image of your expression that brings more warmth in him, so much that your fingers running down his chest worsen it.

But he can't compose himself at this point, not even after he sways his stare toward your firm hand.

The sudden sensation of his hand lifting your head causes you to stop with a gasp, but as he presses his lips against yours, you do nothing but indulge yourself in his taste. With your hand unmoved, you clutch his muscles as his other hand wraps around your waist, gradually pulling you closer.

The drive in him to do this makes you question whether this was a consequence of your massage but the deepening of his kiss causes a jolt of arousal to run through your veins.

Ichigo makes sure he leaves no corners of your mouth untouched whilst you grant him the pleasure to explore inside. The heat of the moment makes you both pant into each other’s mouths, lingering for more.

Holding you, he slowly leans you down to lie on the mattress and moves his hands along your curves.

“Ichigo.” you let out a faint moan as he halts the kiss by lifting himself to observe you from above.

The red hue flushing your cheeks makes his stiffening member throb. Watching you beautifully laid down fills him with a desire to make more noises escape from you. But how should he do it? He ponders but soon sees your thighs rubbing against each other in search of a stimulus.

“Y/N, please spread your legs.” he pleads, unable to take his focus away and upon hearing him, you hum and comply.

Hands reaching for your lower, he hastily takes your clothes off, and once he’s left with the sight of your wet folds, his mouth rushes to your love box. His hands go under your legs to settle them to rest on his shoulders while his mouth begins brushing your sex.

The feeling of his firm tingles makes you squirm below him, providing him with what he wanted. You feel the tip of his tongue caress your clit with pressed strokes and moan with each circling he performs.

“Oh, Ichigo,” you whine, placing your hand on his head to push him deeper. He wants to hear more of that.

But right as he savors your sweetness, he finds the right pace once you let a sharp cry out. Ichigo quickens his motions, occasionally sucking your clit. His grip around your legs tightens with each tremble you make, giving more music to his ears. He can't get enough of your juices, greedily eating you out to get more.

His tongue moves so well around your slick folds and makes you toss your head back as shivers run down your spine. But he's doing such a great job that you can't restrain your hips more not to buckle into his mouth, begging him to make you cum. God, the way he will make you cum.

Your toes curl while the incoming climax makes you seize his hair harshly, and once you shout his name fiercely, he helps you ride through your orgasm.

Your body quivers profoundly in his touch, but the placements of smooth kisses over your cherry make you gasp with how sensitive you are.

“So good.” Ichigo mumbles, lifting himself to look over how good he made you feel.

#zangetsu #tensa zangetsu #zangestu x reader #zangetsu smut #hollow ichigo #hollow ichigo smut #ichigo kurosaki #ichigo x you #ichigo x reader #ichigo smut #adult ichigo #bleach #bleach smut #bleach imagines

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agirlwholovesrockstars · 4 months

Text

as long as you love me so, let it snow

☆ EDDIE MUNSON'S MASTERLIST ☆

❣ AGATHA'S MAIN PAGE ❣

Summary : you never engage easily into any social gatherings, you're very quiet until Eddie came

Word Count : I apologize for not eyeballing the count 😭

Warnings : 18+ Rockstar!Eddie Munson x FEM!reader, language, reader and Eddie are both (20), jealous!reader, unrequited feelings, idiots in love, no use of y/n, reader is insecure at some points, modern setting, Eddie is very friendly and sweet and that alone can be shocker to reader! not in a bad way she's just not used to it, reader is not easy to form a bond at first since she's too serious and Eddie is very patient with her! 😭💖 (omg- I seriously need him- no joke)

What to Expect : strangers to lovers, friends to lovers, fluff, a bit of angst, come on, you guys it's Christmas I'm treating you very dearly with loads of content 😚

Note To Reader : I just came up with this idea that reader is usually reserved until Eddie like a switch that finally someone light up her world! 🥹🫶🏻

Author Note : I really hope that y'all gonna love the Christmas specials that I'm putting up before 2023 ends (I'm so active- like?!? WHO AM I?!?)

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!! 🎄☃️❄️💓✨

You don't usually get so excited when it's the holidays

But, you do enjoy, seeing everyone and having your stomach full from all of the feast

You're just not in the mood to interact since your social battery? can drain easily, you can't keep up that long, sometimes

Sure, you do have friends around that is genuinely do care for you and always be there for you

You're really just not an energetic person

That is until..... He came

You became friends with Nancy at the University and still- you're being in denial that you found yourself a friend

Nancy invited you over to Hawkins to spend your Christmas with them- you're very hesitant at first but you give it a try

The fact you thought you'll messed it all up because you're so nervous to meet her friends and family for the first time

It's your second time here and you just really don't understand why you feel looking forward about this, again

It's a new feeling and it's so foreign

You're leaning standing on the side of the room while watching the snowflakes fall outside

The kids are bickering each other over something and a year later you're still amused observing them

"What do you suggest that we should do?" Dustin sighs in exasperation as he holds his list of Christmas activities on his hand

He taps his pen below his chin as he couldn't taken a hold of his impatience towards his friend

He groans in frustration "Make up your mind!-"

"We should do a movie marathon- we haven't done that yet!" Max spoke up before she could hear Dustin's banter

"That's- impossible- our schedule is clearly tight! No one can attend since all of us are not available!"

"All of us?!? You haven't asked anyone yet!"

"You don't believe me?!? I'm not wrong about this, Max" Dustin throw his hands up in surrender

Max nods as she raises her eyebrows and crossing both of her arms at the same time as she jerks her head towards everyone else in the room gesturing to ask about the plan

Dustin shakes his head at her as he goes out to ask anyone

To his surprise, she's right

Max smirks at him when you're the only one left

"My god- your plan still sucks, Max" he mumbles to himself, he winces when realized he said it in his outside voice

"Could you think for a better activity?" Max replies in a sassiest way as she watches him walking towards you

"Your films choices are awful" Dustin said without looking back at her but she can see the disgust look from his face

"Hey, Top Gun is not awful!" Max shouted as she rolls his eyes at him

"Hi"

You look back at the kid in front of you, nervously clasps his hands together

"What up?" You manage to form a small smile as you bring your body forward to face him properly

He raises his eyebrows, of course- he knows that you're not into small talk but to all of young kids in the group?

You're still cool to them

Why? You seriously have no idea why someone like you and even use you as a role model

Maybe, they love you because you're very authentic and real

Yes, you being the silent one but also you're the most protective and strongest person of them all

They admire everything about you and you never ever understood it why

All you can say is that you're just so very grateful to have them in your life

So grateful

"Uh, are you game for a movie marathon with us? everyone is invited"

You nod and think about it for a moment until you can finally muster to say something back

"When?"

"This coming Saturday"

You nod again and there's your same old dialog

"Is he coming tho?"

"Who?"

"Eddie"

"Y-Yeah- I haven't asked him about it yet since he's not here and I'm sure, he'll be there"

"I'll go, why not- I'm not doing anything on that day, so...." you shrug smile at him

"Great!" The boy shows his pearls and the grin grows even more wide when he looked at over your shoulder

And the man in question is coming in to put his arms around you before you can even follow the kid's gaze- you melt within his touch

"What's happening?" He asks as he turns his head at you and Dustin

"Movie Marathon, this Saturday" you fill him in

"Ooh" he beams in interest "I am so in!"

Dustin hops lightly on the floor as he gives both of you a thumbs up as he goes back to Max who smiles so smugly at him now

"What are you doing by the window?"

You scratch your head "Watching the snow? I'm just bored- I guess" you slumped your shoulders

"Aww- just say it that you missed me" he pulls you by his side and you roll your eyes playfully

You know what he's doing, he wants you to laugh and he never fails by attempting to do so

But in fact- you really do miss him

Just too afraid to admit your feelings too vulnerable

Eddie continues to tease as you finally tug up a smile at him

"Ah yes finally there's my girl!"

You giggle as you poke his side by using your elbow as he laughs as well

"Look what I found at the store"

He surprises you by a gift, it's a small cute white teddy bear with red bow on the neck and your eyes flashes in astonishment

"Eddie- you did not-" you hold the teddy bear as he can see the joy glint on your eyes

Your gaze softens at him "Thank you"

"Don't mention it, sweets" he says as leans down to kiss on top of your head

"I am happy to see you happy" he adds and that makes your heart swell even more

You're absolutely not falling for him, are you?

"I'll be back for dinner, Nance" you announced as you check yourself in the mirror

"Going out with Eddie, again?"

"Yeah, why?" You asked her in the reflection

A mischief on her eyes, you can't miss it

She leans on her side on the wall as she watches you adding a lip and cheek tint

"Nothing, it's just that you look cute together"

You slowly turn to look at her with a look that says "Seriously?"

"I'm serious! I mean- ever since I bought you here- you two- just I don't even know how it happened- you both clicked!" She exclaims as she scoffed at you while shaking your head as you dismissive a hand at her

"And ever since then- it's obvious to everyone that if someone else sees you both- you both looked like in a relationship" she added as she waits for your reaction

"I'm sure that his only true intentions are being with friends with me, nothing more than that" you say as you put your makeup back in your shoulder bag

"Keep telling that to yourself and just watch it become real right before your very eyes" she argues with you as she takes a deep breath before continuing

"For example- you said in the first place that I ain't gonna be your bestfriend and look what happened"

She has a damn point

Seeing her smiling to herself at the back of your head knowing fucking damn well that she is indeed right to her guts

You roll your eyes at her as you open the door

"Bye, Nance" you bid goodbye with a snarky tone

She only chuckles at your ignorance as she waves at you

Eddie is always have been so caring for you

He did all of this for you

When he can do something else or choose someone else to hang out with

Instead, he always chose to be with you

Why is that?

In your friendship, Eddie is the loudest and talkative and he really doesn't mind if you don't talk a lot like him and he just admires you for being a good listener

You don't even know of how a good friend you are like you just need to know that you are

You made him realized a lot of things that he did last year when he could cut off some people

When he should've done it ages ago

You're the one that pushed him to do it and to not be scared to do it for his own well-being

You're there when he's having a hard time to move on- you even comforted him that is okay to feel this way and it's completely normal

You're an amazing person in his eyes

You made him feel that he's worthy and lovable and his mission is to make you feel that way too

You listen to him with a smile on your face, you can't fight it off everytime you spend time with him

His always animated when it comes to storytelling and it's really entertaining to watch him gush over the things that you could relate to

You're taking a big step because you're obviously not being honest with your feelings so....

"Eddie- wait a second" you interrupt him at his mid-sentence

He stops as he clears his throat, he immediately rests his hand on top of yours as you look down smiling at it

"I'm sorry, I just wanted to ask"

"Sure, go ahead"

You look through his eyes and by that you knew, you knew you could say anything to him without judgement behind it

"Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?"

"Being so nice to me, I mean- sometimes I get confused like I don't know if it's just your personality for being this sweet or you do this with anyone"

"I like you" he says plainly with a cheeky smile that shows his dimples

You flustered at his reply "W-What?"

"I just like you- don't get me wrong- I love all of my buddies out there but whenever I'm with you- I feel complete"

"But I'm not that outgoing person"

"What do you mean?"

"What I'm saying is that don't you get tired of me? Or like get bored hanging out with me?"

"Why would I think something like that? Do you think I thought about something like that?"

You blink and your duck your head down shyly as you shook your head

You curse your negative thoughts inside your head literally ruining the beautiful moment that you're having right now

You tried your best not to think of them too long, wishing for all of it to just go away

"Listen" he leans forward to hold both of your hands

You raise your head slowly, too nervous to see the anger in his eyes but you saw nothing

Just pure understanding and compassion

Your heart skips a beat at the sight of it

"I like you for being who you are and I even more love it when we both have the same qualities like you don't give a fuck about anyone else" he exaggerates his words that you always liked and that earns a small chuckle from you and he smiles at it

"You helped me and I'll be doing the same thing with you like you have no idea- how much you mean to me and I just wanna say thank you for everything" he says with so much love on his words like you can't trace anything that is half-hearted

Every part and every word he said comes straight from his heart

He just cannot do that to you and say something like that

The feeling is really feeling, you're knocking off every tendency not to kiss him on the spot

"But I feel so bad for you like I think I'm extra hella mean to you at the first meeting"

Yeah, you're right, he knows that- hell- he even remembers everything on your first encounter together

You always have your guard up and despite your feisty and always looked so intimidating

That didn't made Eddie stop for being friends with you, like he's even the one who approached you, he is willing to do anything and so eager to be in your life

You don't stopped him

You didn't even try to push him away

You don't threaten him to go away

It's because you liked his company

You liked how he is so patient with you

You thought giving him the lousy replies and statements will make him leave but he didn't

He stayed

He is so glad that he did because he gotten the first belly genuine laughs, the first excitement from your eyes, the first cute and adorable reactions at you

As if he can read your mind "Does that stop me from being your friend?"

"No"

"Exactly"

You chuckled slightly "I just don't understand why out of all the people you chose to be friends with me"

"You don't believe that you can have a cool metalhead bestfriend like me?" He says cockily with a lazy smile on his face that made you throw fries at him

He blocked it as he blows raspberry at you "Aha! You missed!"

You chuckled as you pinch his cheeks "Gotta go at the restroom but I'm not done with you yet" you point at him

As he pretends to be petrified at you "Ooh- look at me! I'm getting killed!"

You laugh as you shake your head at him

You check yourself once more at the mirror

You swore to yourself that you're gonna tell him this time around

You gotta admit it

You inhale and exhale as you walk out of the restroom

The smile on your face falls as it lands on the girl that he's talking to

He looks.... glad?

Oh- so this is what it feels to be jealous

You feel nauseous on the scene that happening right now

The girl who is talking to him is so

You saw Eddie dismissing his hand at her as if telling her to keep the conversation short but the girl just won't let it drop as she continues to babble

You know Eddie, he is just too polite to just say "fucking shut up and leave me alone"

You feel so annoyed and also angry at the same time

You reached over at the hem of your purple dress as you crunch it down not caring if it makes a crinkle out of the fabric

You missed the fact that Eddie is now brand new upcoming artist and this is the only beginning of his career

You huffed when she finally leaves

Eddie lights up that you came back on your seat across from him but only to find the hot raging fire that is on your eyes

He doesn't even know where it is coming from

He has never seen you this angry

If you try to look at him, he swear that your looks could kill any person in the room right now

You look intimidating in your usual resting face but with a mad emotion forming up?

This is the only time that he really felt intimidated

"Is everything okay?" Trying to look at your fiery eyes, he is confused, of course- he keeps rethinking everything that made you mad

"Yeah, I'm good" you say unenthusiastically as you finish your milkshake

By the tone of your voice, suddenly the room felt too hard to breathe because you still haven't looked at him just yet because he knows you're avoiding it

He swallows as he chews quietly on his burger

The ride home was like a screeching metal sound that is begging to be stopped

It's so ridiculously quiet

You're giving him the silent treatment?

He is appalled, appalled in a way that this is how you really get upset

He's gonna remember this, so he it won't happen again

Hopefully, never again

And that was it- that was the night

You didn't say goodbye or didn't say anything after that

When Nancy saw you with the look- she knows that you needed to be alone

"What's with her?"

"Huh?"

Lucas nudges his chin towards you as he waits for Mike reply

Your usual resting face looks even more colder than before

You sitting alone in a couch, arms crossed, as you pretend to watch on whatever the TV is playing

Mike glances at you and he felt a dagger stabs through his heart when he saw your face

"Maybe, it has something to do with-"

"Eddie"

Lucas and Mike looked back at each other with raised eyebrows as they run out and look for their dungeon master

The boys knew, of course- how much he feels for you, so, they're gonna help cause' that's what real friends do

"You have to fix it" Lucas blurted it out

"What?"

Eddie is talking to Jeff and Gareth, when the two young boys interrupt their conversation

"You have to make amends with her!" Mike points at you

Eddie follows the kid's direction as he blinks rapidly and gulped

"Nah- Uh- I can't"

"Why?"

"Because- fuck- you know how she's like when she's like that?!?"

"But you have to-"

"Don't worry about it, fellas- he's already concocting a solution" Gareth speaks as he throws a wink

"He's actually talking about her with us" Jeff snickers as he watches Eddie stresses

Eddie only grumbles in response when his bandmates exposed the conversation earlier

"The look on your face is not appealing for this time of the year"

The familiar voice behind you spoke as you throw your head back at the soft surface

"Hey" you say with literally 0% energy

Robin sits beside you as she takes a good look at you

"My, My, My, I can see it- jealousy, clear as day" she gestures at your face as you scoff

She only smirks "What's going on inside your mind, huh?"

"I just saw him talking to another girl yesterday" you sneered as you clenched your jaw

She clicks her tongue as she brings herself closer to you

You furrow your brows as you watch her lean forward

The scariest thing with Robin is that she can read your fucking mind

"If you're thinking about Eddie hanging out with other girls" she clears her throat and straighten herself up

As if she prepares for an ultimate speech

"Well, for your information, sweet pea- is that he never does that to anyone, he only does that to you!" She punctuates every word she said with a finger pointing at you

Still, you won't let her see your surprised expression, you try to mask it

You tilt your head at her as you laugh in disbelief

"Please be fucking for real, Robin?"

She chuckles at your stubbornness "Girl- If you're weren't present right now, he won't attend and he won't be here if it wasn't for you"

You went silent on that because Robin is making sense

A lot of sense

"Eddie is never the one to show up in these events but when you came around- he's always here"

Robin added a lot more sizzle on the stove that made the fire inside of you grows larger

You remember that

It was so late that night but Eddie came last minute because Nancy mentioned about you staying and spending the holidays with them

You're aware that she always talks about you

That's why he's so excited to meet you in the first place

Robin smiles like a freaking Cheshire cat when she successfully made your brain go right where it belongs

Your eyes might hurt for eyerolling too much as you get up and headed towards to-

Obviously, Eddie

Robin giggles as she says "Glad to be a part of your service!"

You saw Eddie yelling over to his friends and bandmates as they stopped talking when they saw you

He knits his brows as they watch all of them go running away one by one

When he turns around, he sighs nervously

"I just wanna apolog-"

"I'm sorry"

Both of you talked over to each other as you both stare and he wants to laugh at how ridiculous this is

"I appreciate everything, you've done for me- Eddie- and I apologize for my behavior last night"

"No- it's okay-" he stopped at what he's supposed to do when

His idiotic mind finally catches up at the thing that annoyed you last night

"Oh- is that girl!"

You frown at him "Look- you don't have to bring it up-'" you sigh in defeat

"You know what- this is bullshit- I'm outta here" you walk away but he tails at you

"You can't"

"Why?!?"

"it's blizzard out there!"

You glance the window outside, it's a damn snowstorm- alright

"I'm gonna find my way out of here"

"What?! why do you want to do that?!"

"To stay the hell away at you"

He laughs darkly as he jogs over your path to block you- you crossed both of your arms

"That girl yesterday was one of the bullies that made my life, the hardest, I didn't gave her the satisfaction that just because I'm getting better at my career, I won't forget the things she do to me before"

The crease in your forehead flattens as you look at him directly

"So, you don't have to be jealous over something that isn't necessary" he finishes with that

Oh, he is speaking the truth and that makes even feel more worst than ever

Not a single fucking thing that says "dishonest" on his eyes

HE IS THE IDEAL MAN

"Guess what? Eddie- that won't convince me!" You sarcastically replied with a fake smile as you move over aside to walk out of him

He knows this wouldn't be easy, he smiles down and he's amused at this

He shook his head as he spoke again

"You missed my hint"

You halt your tracks as you look back at him

"Missed what?!?" annoyance setting in your tone

He walks towards at you with a smirk laying on his face

"I gave you a hint yesterday and you missed it"

You squint your eyes at him as you try to remember the things that he said to you

The simmering anger inside of you that almost bubbled into the boiling point has died down when it finally hit you

"I like you" his voice echoes to your mind

When you look back at him, he smiles wildly as he moves closer to you

He puts your wispy bangs on the side as he can see it hurting your eyes

Your gaze softens as he whispers "You're so pretty"

And out of the blue, there goes his antics, he goes down on his knees

"I would seriously die for you!" He shouts out loud earning an attention to some of your friends

You laugh as you try to help him get up but he won't budge

"I will worship you every single day until I die!"

Steve appears in the corner as he announces

"The Grinch is about to start y'all gonna miss it!"

You and Eddie giggle as he finally back up to his feet

Both of you get what you want to chomp down while watching the film

He gave you, your favorite, the buttered popcorn

You blushed as you about to take it he pulled you as he kisses your cheek that alone made you let out a small gasp and he smirks

Causing you to flip him off as he laughs

While heading at the living room both of you started teasing at each other

"if you left you won't be getting that popcorn"

"Yeah, yeah, you won- stop gloating already"

"You love me, don't you?"

"Shut up"

"You love meeee"

"I do"

He's like a goddamn kid, hopping like a toddler as he pulls you to his side, you look at him with a glowing smile

Unbeknownst to the both of you, Jeff, Gareth, Mike, Lucas, Dustin, Robin and even Steve both shared high-fives together when both of you finally get together at last

❄️❄️💗💗

#eddie munson #eddie munson fic #stranger things 4 #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x y/n #eddie x fem!reader #merry christmas #christmas 2023 #christmas season #christmas fic #agirwholovesrockstarsfics #Spotify

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feyresdaughter · 1 year

Text

A Court of Frost and Starlight, chapter 13-15:

Rhys POV

I’d grown up in these houses, attending the parties and feasts that lasted long into the night, spending bright summer days lazing on the sloping lawns, cheering the summer boat races on the Sidra.

Imagine little Rhysie attending these parties aw

A small laugh. “What did you get Feyre?” I slid my hands into my pockets. “This and that.” - “So, nothing.” I dragged a hand through my hair. “Nothing. Any ideas?” - “She’s your mate. Shouldn’t this sort of thing be instinctual?” - “She’s impossible to shop for.” Mor gave me a wry look. “Pathetic.” I nudged her with an elbow. “What did you get her?” - “You’ll have to wait until Solstice evening to see.” Mor’s present-buying abilities had never improved. I had a drawer full of downright hideous cuff links that I’d never worn, each gaudier than the next. I was lucky, though: Cassian had a trunk crammed with silk shirts of varying colors of the rainbow. Some even had ruffles on them. I could only imagine the horrors in store for my mate.

Mor knows Rhys so well it's adorable

“I just— being near them, together …” She shoved her hands into her pockets. “It’s probably what it feels like for you to be around Tamlin.” - “If it’s any consolation, cousin, I behaved rather poorly the other day.” - “Is he dead?” - “No.” - “Then I’d say you controlled yourself admirably.” I laughed. “Bloodthirsty of you, Mor.” She shrugged, again watching the river. “He deserves it.” He did indeed.

So real of Mor

“Does he win if I go?” A quiet, tentative question. “You have to decide that for yourself.” Mor turned toward the ruined house and grounds behind us . Staring not at them, I realized, but eastward. Toward the continent and the lands within. As if wondering what might be waiting there.

We don't have enough Rhys and Mor scenes, I love them

Feyre POV

I had yet to find or even come up with a vague idea for what to give Rhysand for Solstice.

Not them both struggling to find a present for each other 😭 truly mates

Decadent— it felt decadent, and selfish, to shop, even if it was for people I loved. “I know it’s not easy for you,” Elain observed as we drifted through a weaver’s Shop. I turned from a wall covering depicting that very image. “What’s not easy?” Elain’s brown eyes roved over the Night Court insignia. “Buying things without a dire need to do so.” - “We have everything we need,” I admitted to Elain. “Buying presents feels excessive.” - “It’s their tradition, though,” Elain countered, her face still flushed with the cold . “One that they fought and died to protect in the war. Perhaps that’s the better way to think of it, rather than feeling guilty. To remember that this day means something to them. All of them, regardless of who has more, who has less, and in celebrating the traditions, even through the presents, we honor those who fought for its very existence, for the peace this city now has.”

I also love Feyre and Elain together in acofas 🥰

Having been in a void myself, the fabric she’d woven came unnervingly close. “Why?” Her gray eyes shifted toward me again. “My husband didn’t return from the war.” The frank, open words clanged through me. It was an effort to hold her gaze as she continued, “I began trying to create Void the day after I learned he’d fallen." The weaver only stared toward the tapestry. “I thought we’d have a thousand more years together.” She began to coax the loom back into movement. “In the three hundred years we were wed, we never had the chance to have children.”Her fingers moved beautifully, unfaltering despite her words. “I don’t even have a piece of him in that way. He’s gone, and I am not. Void was born of that feeling.”I didn’t know what to say as her words settled in. As she continued working. It could have been me. It could have been Rhys.

THAT'S where Feyre knew she wanted a child with Rhys

“The silver thread,” Elain asked. “What is that called?” The weaver paused the loom again, the colorful strings vibrating. She held my sister’s gaze. No attempt at a smile this time. “I call it Hope.” My throat became unbearably tight, my eyes stinging enough that I had to turn away, to walk back toward that extraordinary tapestry. The weaver explained to my sister, “I made it after I mastered Void.” I stared and stared at the black fabric that was like peering into a pit of hell. And then stared at the iridescent, living silver thread that cut through it, bright despite the darkness that devoured all other light and color. It could have been me . And Rhys. Had very nearly gone that way. The impossible depth of blackness before me, the unlikely defiance of Hope shining through it, whispered the truth before I knew it. Before I knew what I wanted to give Rhys. The weaver’s husband had not come home. But mine had.

That's where Feyre decided she wanted to have a child with Rhys, soon

The tapestry was a gift for no one but myself, and would be delivered to the town house later that afternoon.

YAS FEYRE you deserve to treat yourself

“I’m just glad someone’s using this place. That you are using it,” Ressina added. “I think Polina would have liked you.”

I also think that Polina would have liked Feyre. Because it's just so easy to adore her

And slammed right into the hard, warm chest of my mate. I rebounded off Rhys with a curse, scowling at his laugh as he gripped my arms to steady me against the icy street. “Going somewhere?”

I just realized on this last reread how clumsy Feyre is fr 😭 she's always slamming into something or someone

I blew out a breath and surveyed him , the face dearer to me than anything in the world, the weaver’s words echoing through me. She had lost her husband. I had not. And yet she still wove, still created. I cupped Rhys’s cheek, and he leaned into the touch

“Do you think it’s stupid to wonder if painting might help others, too? Not my painting, I mean. But teaching others to paint. Letting them paint. People who might struggle the same way I do.” His eyes softened. “I don’t think that’s stupid at all.” I traced my thumb over his cheekbone, savoring every inch of contact. “It makes me feel better— perhaps it would do the same for others.”

FEYRE IS SUCH A SWEETHEART PROTECT HER AT ALL COSTS

My nose crinkled as I entered Amren’s toasty apartment. “It smells … interesting in here.” Amren, seated at the long worktable in the center of the space, gave me a slashing grin before gesturing to the four-poster bed. Rumpled sheets and askew pillows said enough about what scents I was detecting. “You could open a window,” I said, waving to the wall of them at the other end of the apartment.

Not Feyre getting hit by a wave of Vamren's previous activities 😭

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wolfychaaan · 1 year

Text

With You - Frank Morrison x Reader story Chapter One

❗️❗️WARNING❗️❗️

Story features mentions of rape/non con and gore. Please read at own risk. I do not own any DBD characters.

The generator fires and spurts as you flee from its side to run from the encroaching killer laughing hysterically as he opens another bottle of substance to lobby your way. You dash through a maze of corn and wooden boards trying to do anything to keep him away, the cool fall air of Coldwind farms combats the warmth of the sun overhead. You run straight for the tree that holds decaying cow corpses, gross, but you need a way to loop the Clown off your tail. He's giggling and chuckling all the way as he stomps behind you, his gait is that of a lumbering bear on two legs but with all the poise of a human.

Dropping the palette onto the Clown's head you hear him roar and grumble in aggravation as he watches you sprint away back into the corn. You dodge other generators and palettes as you try to find a place to hide or at least another teammate to comfort you. The shattering of glass behind you speeds up your heartbeat, legs burning as you full speed ahead but the splinters of shards dig into your skin through the fabric of your jeans and another unholy concoction from the Clown is airborne. You lose stride from the pain in your legs and the slip in focus causes you to fall to the ground as you trip on a rock. Another bottle hits the hard ground, sending out a colorful potion you've never seen before. Trying not to inhale the substance is hard as you struggle to catch your breath and get to your feet at the same time. Unfortunately, you've already inhaled too much and your vision grows fuzzy causing you to collapse and lose consciousness. The last thing you can hear is the Clown's victorious laughs as he approaches.

Frank sits up on the roof of the killer shack watching everything unfold. Other killers could view other trials but were not allowed to interfere. This was the only real rule the Entity gave other killers, but this situation was different. You were his favorite. He loved the way you screamed when being chased, how cute you were when you were being hooked, and mostly he just found himself entranced by you. He would often observe your trials to get his own kicks but this time he came for a specific reason: to stop the Clown. He heard rumors of the bastard creating some new tonic to make survivors fall unconscious, he didn't know what purpose that would serve until now. He watches the lumbering form begin to tear your clothing off from you.

"Bastard," Frank mutters to himself before pulling his mask over his face.

The Clown licks his lips under the mask in glee as he slowly begins to undress you down to your panties. He giggles to himself admiring his work, oh what he is DYING to do to you. He hears a thump nearby and then a familiar voice.

"That's far enough I think," Frank says, voice laced with venom. The Clown turns to look at who's stopping his fun time and smiles.

"Frank, my boy! Come to admire my work?"

"Shut the fuck up you Gacey wannabe, I'm here to stop it," he flicks his hunter's knife in his palm. The Clown bellows a laugh.

"You can't touch me here son, that would be against the rules. Besides, why do you care? You're a killer just like me, why shouldn't we get to have a little fun?"

"See, normally I would agree with you. However, even I have standards and this crosses that line,"

"And those are?"

"I don't rape unconscious people after drugging them you sick bastard," Frank lunges forward stabbing the larger man in the gut with his knife. The blade slicing into his sternum like a knife cutting off a chunk of steak. The Clown roars and grabs his stomach.

"Y-you little shit!" He growls. Frank wipes the blade winding up for another attack.

"You're not..getting away with this. You'll…you'll be punished by the Entity for you're-" the Clown chokes up bile and blood. Frank kicks him over, leaning a knee onto the larger man's neck so he chokes some more.

"That spider creep can do what it wants with me, after I'm done teaching an old piece of shit like you a lesson,"

The gates lift open with a whail and the other survivors head into the exit.

"Something doesn't feel right," Kate pipes up, rubbing her forearms.

"I agree, we never even saw the killer. This was too easy," David replies.

"Why look a gift horse in the mouth? Easy trial is a good trial!" Ace muses. David gives him a dirty look while Kate starts to look panicked.

"Oh God, where is (Y/N)?!"

"Shit! I barely saw her after the start of the trial!"

"But nobody was on the hooks, did they get away?"

The survivors begin to hear a noise of corn rustling behind them. Emerging from the corn holding you in their arms is Frank. His mask is off to the side of his head, revealing his face to the group. He's covered in blood, none of it his or your's. The group stares at him, Kate noticing you in his arms, clothes torn asunder.

"Oh God, (Y/N)! Is she ok?"

"What the fuck are you doing with her?" David asks in a growl.

"Relax, she's just unconscious. The killer was the Clown, he was going to hurt her but I stopped it," Frank says.

"Holy shit," Ace murmurs. Frank hands you off to David, who takes you in his arms. Kaye moves your hair to check your breathing.

"You guys better get going before you become Entity chow,"

"Wait sug, thank you for helping her but what's in this for you?" Kate asks.

"Nothing, just consider it a gift from a friend," Frank says. The group turns to leave, David carrying you through the gate and back to safety. Frank turns on the heels of his boots and wanders back into the corn to admire his work. The Clown is in slices, slowly being recombined by the Entity's power. He wishes he could kill the creepy old fuck but for some reason the Entity enjoys keeping him around. In moments the Entity's long legs burst from the ground and pull Frank under into the shadowy realm it exists in.

It's dark and numbing in the Entity's space. Frank can't tell if he's standing or floating in the smokey void that houses the ominous being.

"You disappoint me Frank Morrison. You've disobeyed the one rule I give you," the Entity speaks. "Do you know how long it will take to fix your mess?"

"Like there's a shortage of killer clowns," Frank rolls his eyes.

"SILENCE, HUMAN! You do not have the higher ground to speak to me in any way you desire. You've gone against my game, my trials, disrespected my blessings, you must be punished,"

"Do whatever you want with me, but do not touch the rest of the Legion. They're innocent,"

"I am aware. Unlike you, they've been following the rules of my game. Only you shall suffer the fate I provide you,"

"You gonna kill me?" The Entity laughs.

"You would like that wouldn't you, Frank Morrison? No, you do not get such luxuries. I shall punish you in a way that fits the crime," The world goes pitch black and Frank feels his body grow heavy. He loses consciousness.

Frank opens his eyes to see a sky dimly lit with stars, a tangle of tree branches against the skyline, his body aching in pain from laying on the cold, hard ground. He does a check over to make sure he still has all his limbs and appendages, nothing seems to be missing. He sits up, hearing a nearby stream trickling by and feeling an incredible thirst overtake him. Running to the stream he begins scooping water into his palm and drinking. He goes until he feels the dryness in his mouth subside, taking deep breaths to relax himself. He looks down into the water and sees changes in his reflection. His eyes have become a soft grey, the hints of red that coated them from the Entity are gone. Physically he doesn't feel as strong as he was. His usual leather jacket and hoodie have been replaced with his varsity jacket and a t-shirt, with jeans and sneakers instead of his combat boots and camo tactical pants.

"What the fuck…" he whispers to himself. A lot of his piercings he did after becoming a killer were gone except for an eyebrow piercing, the scar across the bridge of his nose from it getting broken remains, with a mop of dark hair on the top of his head but shorter on the sides. He can hear voices in the distance, survivors he thinks. He reaches for his knife but his trusty blade is gone.

You shall live as one of them, this is your new fate the Entity echoes in Frank's head. He panics for a moment, running a hand through his hair, trying to come to terms with what that even means for him. He was now a survivor, no longer killing them but PART of their group. Suddenly he feels a strange ease wash over him because it dawns on who he can be with: you.

He gets up off the ground and begins to approach the fire light in the distance. Survivors are gathering around the flames, chatting, he recognizes a lot of them from his hunts. As he steps further into the light he steps on a stick, the crack makes everyone turn and go silent. Small gasps and murmurs throughout the crowd saying his name or just Legion. David stands up, hands clenched into fists before he barks.

"What the fuck do YOU want?" Frank holds up his hands.

"Whoa whoa, easy, I'm not a killer anymore,"

"Pft yeah right, like we believe that bullshit," Nea snorts from her spot leaning against a tree.

"Killers can't enter survivor spaces!" Someone yells, he thinks it's Meg. More muttering erupts.

"Now hold on y'all, maybe we should hear him out?" Kate suggests. "Are you all forgetting he saved (Y/N)? He let us go last trial!" Everyone stops muttering and goes quiet, exchanging looks. Tapp crosses his arms, David clenches his jaw.

"Go on then," Kate encourages.

"Well, apparently I pissed off the Entity enough that I'm being punished for that. Now I'm one of you," Nobody speaks. The group exchanges glances around, wondering what to do or say. Frank rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. Suddenly he feels someone crash into his back nearly knocking him over, two arms wrap around him.

"YOU SAVED ME!" the voice he's adored since you first came here, it's yours. Frank turns in your grasp to see you giving him a hug, tears streaming down your face.

"(Y/N) don't touch him!" Tapp yells.

"Kate told me what you did and I never got to thank you…and now you're being punished for helping me,"

"H-hey, it's not your fault. I wanted to help you," You let go of him so he can turn to face you, but he wishes you didn't. You wipe at your eyes trying to stop yourself from crying. You were in shock when Kate told you what Frank had done. Saving you from the Clown who tried to do something so horrible to you, and now he was a survivor like the rest of you. You feel Frank's warm hand cup your chin and pull your face to meet his eyes.

"Don't be sorry, I wouldn't let that sicko do what he wanted to you. Besides, this isn't so bad," he smiles, wiping away a stray tear with his thumb. You can feel your cheeks heating up, eyes blown wide as he looks down at you.

"I hate to interrupt the touching moment here but it's not like the Entity brought in a new survivor the same way. He doesn't have a cabin," says a voice, Frank thinks it's Adam.

"H-he can stay with me!" You blurt out. Frank lets go of your face, eyes wide.

"I don't think that's a good idea,"

"He doesn't have anywhere to go, and it's something I can do to repay him for saving me,"

"You really trust this guy?" Jill asks, crossing her arms across her chest, approaching closer to help her friend if Frank tries anything. He glares at her, he never did like cops.

"Listen I get it sounds insane, but I don't even have a weapon on me," Frank says.

"We could always pat him down and double check?" Suggests Laurie from the crowd.

"I'll do it," Leon volunteers, stepping forward. He grabs Frank's shoulder, instructing him to put his hands on a nearby tree while he conducts a search.

"You pat down all the pretty boys, officer?" Frank quips. Leon shoots him a look and Frank winks back. Everyone shifts uncomfortably.

"He's clean," Leon says, Frank turns back around and you give him a warm smile.

"If nobody else is willing to give him a place to stay what's the issue? Besides, I don't really feel like being alone tonight after…today," you look towards the ground, shuffling your foot in the dirt. Frank takes your hand in his and gives a small squeeze.

"I promise I'll be on my best behavior officer," he says, you gaze up at him and feel a blush forming on your cheeks. Jill snorts, glaring at him.

"If it'll make (Y/N) feel safer, and we really don't have a place for him," Jill remarks. The rest of the group just kind of nods and mutters to themselves. Leon approaches you and whispers in your ear.

"If he tries anything you know where to find me," you nod back, feeling his hand squeeze your shoulder. Other survivors begin to disperse, some walking in groups or pairs off to the cabins. Each survivor came with a cabin that replicates where they came from. Yours resembles your old apartment before the Entity claimed you. Opening the door, you flick on the light and Frank follows you in, hands in his jacket pockets. Your living space is small, a one bedroom apartment maybe five hundred square feet. Frank begins to look around, making himself comfortable like a cat in a new home.

"I know it's not very big but it's cozy and better than sleeping outside," Frank flops down on the couch, you wander into your bedroom looking for something comfortable for him to wear. You knew you had sweatpants from an old ex in your drawers and maybe he could borrow a bigger t-shirt. You dig out the pair of grey sweats and manage to find a t-shirt he could wear from your old college. You walk back out and hand them to him.

"Here, for you to change into so you don't have to wear jeans to bed," he gives you a smile.

"Aw, how sweet of you,"

"You can shower off in the bathroom over there if you feel like it,"

"Actually that sounds kinda nice," you show him the bathroom, giving him a clean towel of his own and explain the door can be locked for privacy. Undressing and turning on the shower, Frank steps into the warm water letting it wash over him and down his body. He can't stop thinking about how lucky this turned out for him. Why the Entity would bless him by bringing him closer to you was beyond him, but he wasn't about to question this punishment.

Using some of your soap to wash his body, Frank gently hums to himself. One of his favorite pastimes was singing and humming to himself. He feels on cloud nine right now. You've taken the opportunity to change into your own pajamas, some black pajama pants and a tank top, hearing Frank humming from the other side of the door. He seems oddly happy considering everything, and most times during trials with him he would let you go at the end. The humming turns to singing, Frank has a lovely voice you had to admit. A moment later the water shuts off but the singing continues.

Frank exits the bathroom, running the towel over his hair to dry some of the water out. He keeps singing to himself, wearing the clothes you gave him. He seems so relaxed and happy being here.

"You seem happy," you remark. Frank gives you a wolfish grin.

"It's just been a really great day,"

"I figured you would be upset with all this,"

"Well I'm upset I never got to tell the other Legion members what was going on but I know they're safe and the Entity won't touch them,"

"So you're very close with them?"

"We are like a family," Frank smiles. "It's weird no longer having the intense urge to kill from the Entity's power, physically I don't feel as strong as before," he stares at his hands. You sort of feel bad, he's been separated from his family and dumped here full of people who have already judged him.

"I'm sorry you risked everything to help me," you murmur. Frank's head snaps to look at you.

"Hey don't be sorry, I did it on my own. I wouldn't let that fucker hurt you or have his way with you," he says sternly.

"But why? Weren't you also a killer?" Frank fidgets.

"Yeah but…I'm not like him," You cross your arms across your chest and give him a look.

"I've seen you mori my friends and wipe their blood on your mask while laughing. What makes you different? Why save me?" Frank bounces his knee in agitation.

"I just am ok? Trust me,"

"You can't blame me for being skeptical dude, you would chase me all over the map for kicks. You loved doing the frenzy thing so why-"

"Because I fucking like you ok?! I care about you! I've been obsessed with you since our first trial together! Now I have this chance to…to be here!" You put a hand over your mouth and look at him in shock. Frank's face turns the brightest red.

"I'm sorry for yelling," he says.

"No it's ok, t-thank you for telling me," you look down at the floor. There's an awkward pause.

"Maybe we should go to sleep," Frank suggests. You agree and go to get him some pillows and blankets to sleep on the couch from your bedroom. Frank runs a hand through his hair. He feels like a huge jerk.

"If you need more stuff let me know," you say.

"You've already done a lot, (Y/N). Thank you," you give a small nod before disappearing behind your bedroom door. Frank sighs, leaning back on the couch and groaning into his hands.

You have the worst nightmares of your life, vivid and horrifying as you relive the trauma from the previous trial. It goes further, the Clown keeps you awake but you cannot move and feel everything he's doing. You scream and thrash until you wake up gripping your chest, panicking. Your bedroom door flies open and you see Frank in the doorway. He rushes to your side, you feel tears threatening to drop down.

"Are you ok?! I heard screaming so I ran in here,"

"Y-yeah…just a bad dream," you say. Frank turns on the lamp beside your bed, you can see his face is coated in concern.

"What was it about?" He asks.

"Just the Clown and what happened,"

"It sounded worse than just that,"

"I'll be ok Frank I just need to calm down,"

"Push over," he instructs.

"Wh-"

"Just do it," you push over, making space in the bed. Frank gets in beside you and pulls you into his body. You feel his warmth, a welcoming sensation, wash over you as his strong arms wrap around you. You're pressing into his chest, his hand rubbing the small of your back as he murmurs softly in your ear.

"You're safe, you're ok. I'm here now, I won't let him touch you," and the overwhelming feeling of tears you've been trying to hold back overcomes you and you begin to sob uncontrollably into Frank. You bury your face in the crook of his neck, he continues to rub your back and repeat those words like a mantra. You've never been treated like this before, most of your exs made emotions seem like a huge issue. Eventually your manic sobs settle to small tears and your breathing slows down. Frank continues to hold you.

"That's my girl, let it alllll out. I'm here," you blush at him calling you his girl.

"I'm sorry I've drenched you," he gives a small laugh.

"It'll dry, do you feel better?"

"Yeah…I do. Thank you,"

"Do you want me to leave?" He asks. You grip his t-shirt tightly.

"Please stay, I don't…I don't want to be alone," you can almost see his smile in your mind.

"OK baby, I'll stay as long as you want,"

He sings softly to you, a song you don't quite recognize, eventually you fall back asleep in his arms. Once he feels you safely asleep he rolls to the side to turn off the light beside the bed. Back to holding you close Frank tries to push down the fury he has for the Clown and the fear you have inside you from his disgusting actions. He would make him pay all over again, a thousand times, just to make you feel safe.

Morning arrives and you slowly awaken, laying on your side with your back to Frank and his arm draping around your waist. You slept much better having him beside you, snuggling under the comforter. You give a small stretch, feeling the need to pee. You try to wiggle free but Frank tightens his grip and pulls you back into his sleeping form. You giggle, trying to escape his grasp but he doesn't let go.

"Frank pleaaaase let me go? I need to pee so bad!" You beg. He lets go and you escape, running out of the room. Frank groans and buries himself under the covers once again. He's content with just staying in your bed all day, it was nice to not wake up freezing his ass off like in Ormond. He temporarily falls back asleep when he hears a knock on your cabin door and you run to answer it. Peeking out from under the blankets he can hear murmurs from outside. Two other voices, female from the cadence. Frank drags himself out of bed to investigate.

"You doin' ok hon?" Kate asks.

"Yeah I'm better than yesterday, that's for sure,"

"We were worried about you and Frank staying together, he didn't hurt you did he?"

"No, he actually helped me out of a panic attack last night. It was really sweet!"

"He hasn't tried anything funny has he?" Jill asks. Frank clicks his tongue.

"No! He's been nothing but respectful and kind, honestly you guys are worried over nothing,"

"Don't you think it's weird the Entity dumped him here after all this?" Frank opens the bedroom door and practically runs up behind you. He wraps his arms around your waist and rests his head on top of yours.

"Morning ladies, thanks for coming to check in," Frank says. Jill gives him a dirty look.

"Y'all look awfully cozy for just one night together," Kate remarks.

"What can I say? I'm just that damn charming," Frank smirks. You blush feeling his warmth contrast the cool air outside.

"I'm OK guys, seriously thank you for worrying," you say in earnest. Jill relaxes a little hearing you sound so content, pulling the sleeve of Kate's jacket as a sign to back down.

"We'll see you later then," she says with a smile. You nod, closing the door as the two girls turn to walk away. Frank lets go of your waist but in a swift motion sweeps you up bridal style to take you back to the bedroom. You let out a little squeak when he does, he's still so strong for not having his Entity powers. He puts you back into the bed and hops in beside you, pulling you into his chest.

"Now where were we?"

#frank morrison #dead by daylight #dbd legion #dbd x reader #fan fic author #x reader

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