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antimony-medusa · 6 months

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on Consequences in minecraft streaming

Okay so one of the real common things that I've been seeing lately is an increasingly passionate call for certain characters to experience Consequences (and the rest of the post always makes it clear that they mean a specific type of definatively negative repercussions) for their actions during QSMP events. And aside from the absolute deja vu of having seen these same calls when DSMP was airing, and how that turned out (sorry, the syndicate did not all have a meeting where they apologized for their sins while tommy told them they were horrible people), I'm not 100% sure if that's going to happen or pan out in the exact way that I think people are aiming for and expecting will happen.

I keep seeing a lot of people saying that it would be bad writing if people don't get "consequences" for their actions, and what they're specifically asking for is punishment and for people to realize what they're doing was wrong. BBH is supposed to repent for furniture thefts and torturing the people keeping him from his kid. Phil is supposed to realize that actually he's good at PVP and apologize for saying that his team has been suffering in purgatory. Tubbo is supposed to fill in his tubhole and only do things other people ask him to do.

But like, so much of the time, what we're seeing is these streamers being interested in writing morally grey characters, just some little guys who make bad decisions, and the thing about characters being morally grey is that they don't always have a come to jesus moment and become morally pure. Sometimes they just keep being morally grey. Sometimes they get worse on purpose.

Maybe BBH never decides that torturing that guy was bad, because he wanted to get his FUCKING KID back. Like, I seriously think you have to be prepared for that character arc to never end in Bad going "that was wrong to do", and maybe his cubito will still be happy. Phil is a dude with anxiety who's been sure that his kids are going to die from the moment he got to purgatory, streaming at 1-4 in the morning while other teams break into their base, even if bolas goes insane and scrapes out a win I think it's way more likely that that team is gonna go "what a wild fluke that's the power of gas masks" and not have a moment where they go "it was unfair of us to assume that we were underpowered, I guess everybody else was the underdogs! Our bad." Tubbo is tubbo, he's already building a new create thing, he is not going to apologize for leaving marks on the landscape with mod packs.

Like, the streamers are interested in making human characters, making interesting decisions, not communicating moral lessons to their fanbases. Bad is operating within a Taken film, not a sermon. Quackity wants his cubito to be pathetic, gay, and out for revenge, not to communicate the importance of forgiveness to those who hurt you. Tubbo's victory condition is having a nice date with Fred, full stop, does not care who he has to run over to get there.

Absolutely I think there are people intentionally doing corruption/villany arcs on the server, and they probably intend for that to lead places. There will be Consequences, as in, things will happen. Cellbit is doing cannibalsm on purpose, and not as a teaching moment about how good cannibalism is for your social bonds. But like, maybe that leads to him being thrown out of his family and not trusted because of his sins, OR maybe it leads to him murdering his way through a federation complex, facing down a bloody cucurucho, and going "you made me into you and I hate this" and eating him. Narrative consequences does not always mean punishment and a return to moral purity. Sometimes people just do bad things, and then repercussions happen, but they don't necessarily "see the error of their ways". The specific call for like— retribution and repentance as the consequences people are going for— for punishment— if a character has done something bad they don't "deserve" good things to happen to them and it's bad writing for that to happen— I just don't think that those are the stories the creators are necessarily interested in telling.

And secondly, what people are often asking for is character conflict— they want people to be socially excluded by characters they feel have been wronged, and learn the error of their ways that way until they apologize sufficiently. Phil is gonna hate BBH or Tubbo is going to hate Roier or something once they return from Purgatory. People want their cubitos to have beef with each other.

But the thing is, on a meta level, I don't doubt that the entire admin team and streaming team on QSMP is just screamingly aware that this fandom cannot be trusted with conflict. The election was just part of it, but I made it through the election, and Purgatory has been so much more unpleasant— and I am not just talking about twitter. This website, tumblr, has been full of people fighting each other for their teams. And I am not just saying "red team fans have been bad", because boy have I been staring in horrified awe at the takes that some red team people have been putting forward (what on EARTH do you mean BBH deserves to have his kid die, touch grass immediately), but if I step outside of red team circles, everyone is talking about how red team people are horrible hypocrites who win too much and only deserve to suffer (I saw this posting the day that blue had back to back wins, so it isn't even tied to how well red is doing). The quality of the discourse has been increasingly unpleasant, and this has been taking place in streamer's chats, on twitter, in discords, and here on tumblr.

Every QSMP streamer is increasingly aware that having conflict with another streamer is basically sending a wave of negativity their way, and setting off bombs in the fandom at the same time. And they're all friends with each other! Sometimes they decide that the story beat they're going for is worth it and just tell each other to stay off twitter, but like, you have got to be prepared that maybe they will just be friends again. And that might be weaker writing, for people to keep forgiving each other, but that is an unfortunate aspect of the technical aspects of this medium and this fandom. Maybe the creators would be more willing to have character conflict if they didn't know that that meant the person they were mad at in-game would get death threats on social media.

Like no fucking wonder Phil apologized for getting mad at Wil within the same stream and before Wil said sorry to him. This is why the French have given up on revolution arcs, you know it's why the women are all very careful to get along with people. All of those creators know the cost of making anyone into a villain, and I'm just saying maybe get prepared that we won't have inner-party conflict. Maybe they'll decide it's worth it for a fun story moment! Maybe they won't. Maybe don't get 100% married to the idea that the only good writing possible moving forward is for people to be thrown out of the community and then repent for their sins.

#qsmp #fandom meta #discourse #negativity #this is also just screamingly culturally christian of you but that lies beyond the scope of this post #cw cannibalism

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mixterglacia · 2 days

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WARNING: VIVZIEPOP CRITICAL, STOLITZ CRITICAL CONTENT.

I get fairly mean in this one, you've been warned.

I am so sorry, Viv. You can't convince me to see Stolitz as anything beyond a toxic, doomed to fail, train wreck.

I'm SO down for a good toxic ship.

In fact, I found their pilot dynamic far more interesting than the current writing seems to be depicting.

I refuse to feel bad for a man that caught feelings for a childhood """friend""" so hard he ruined his own life. Blitz owes NOTHING to Stolas. He agreed to fuck him so he could run a business that is barely discussed, even though it was the original point of the show.

Does it suck that Stolas had to deal with an arranged marriage that he never wanted with a mean wife? Yeah.

You know what else sucks?

THAT STELLA HAD TO MARRY A MAN SHE NEVER WANTED, AND HAD TO GIVE BIRTH TO HIS CHILD. ALL WHILE HAVING A FUCKING CREEP OF A BROTHER. ALL WHILE BEING TREATED AS A MONSTER BY THE FANDOM THAT CAN'T UNDERSTAND HYPOCRISY IF IT BIT THEM IN THE FACE.

Like yes, she's a cantankerous bitch. But you can't seriously pretend like she isn't also suffering in this relationship. The only difference is she turns her pain into external anger, where as Stolas has been turned into uwu soft bird who can do no wrong.

Even though he destroyed his family in an extremely public way. Octavia is going to have to live with the impact of her father's decisions for the rest of her life. You can't seriously expect me to feel bad for a man that is the agent of his own destruction.

You also can't tell me that Blitz just needs to get over himself just so he can be with a man who's father BOUGHT HIM FOR HIS SON AS A PRESENT.

To reiterate. If this was meant to be read as a terrible toxic arrangement that just keeps happening? I'm down for that. But this is not, and will never be cute or healthy.

Blitz doesn't owe Stolas anything. He keeps up his end of the bargain. It's purely sexual, and just because Stolas can't accept that doesn't make it Blitz's problem.

Stolas needs to learn how to accept rejection and move the fuck on. He knew he would catch feelings and considering he basically has Blitz on a leash, that doesn't make this any less gross.

The fact that he knows Blitz will leave if he's given the power to go to earth on his own proves it.

Blitz has frankly done very little IF ANYTHING to warrant being subjected to this level of obsession on Stolas' part. He's just trying to make a living.

Frankly, if you wanted us to actually think Blitz was interested, you've totally missed the boat with that one. This should have been worked on ages ago and it makes it feel exceptionally rushed and out of character on Blitz's part.

At this point I'm starting to think Fizz and Ozzie are a fluke of good writing in a sea of godsawful shit. Charlie and Vaggie felt like a literal afterthought in their own show. Husk and Angel are so rushed it felt like watching a relationship at double speed. Are we even supposed to think Pen and Cherry are actually a thing? Because if I was Cherry I would have punched Pen for that shit.

Christ. I don't drink but Viv makes me feel like starting.

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.

#logan laments #vivziepop critical #stolitz critical #negative

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squishyteri · 2 months

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*Deep disappointed sigh*

I was thinking that I'll be sitting here at this time, writing about finishing another amazing drama, but instead I'm sitting here, absolutely baffled and beyond dissapointment and confusion.

What the hell just happened? That what what I've asked right after finishing the final episode of DFF. And the worst part is that I will actually never know what had happened.

Honestly, the drama started getting worse in episode 10. That was a whole mess (I've written entire post about it, read HERE ). Episode 11 was good in a terms of what it gave us, but it was at very wrong place. It was truly bad choice for the pre-finale ep, that was supposed to build up the tension for the final ordeal, so this Tee backstory felt anti-climatic.

And today, the finale came and it felt like I clicked on the wrong show. Am I really watching DFF? I asked in disbelief. I just couldn't believe what I saw.

I try to go one by one.

Starting with Fluke. That was actually the part I liked. He was the bywatcher. He just watched. So it was really good choice to let him stab his eyes out. But I hated that he didn't even know about it, since he died (most likely) while still being high on absinth. I HATE the choice of having him die. Him living blind, not being able to be a doctor would be such a great punishment for him.

Top ... Well, first of all, how are you still alive, buddy? But given the amount of people (1) that took way too long to die, I guess people in DFF universe are just slower at dying from very obvisouly fatal wounds. Him killing himself and taking Fluke with him was okay, I guess? I mean we know NOTHING about Top, so how could I know what is in character and what not?

Tee and White. Oh boy. I knew right away that us getting the emotional backstory of Tee is not a gift, it would come in an exchange of an inevitable traumatic experience. But this was not what I expected at ALL. If everything else was perfect, this would fit well. I feel like it's a good scene and great punishment for Tee to live with. ... If we KNEW what happened to Tee... but I'll get to that later.

(also like... White's character is so ... idk, he's just a random, innocent dude, who is there only for the purpose of dying ... not the mention he was really annoying to me at the beginning, like what was that about?)

Now here it comes. Jin. I ... I can't say much, because I think even Tumblr would ban me if I went into detail. Let's just say I did not expected Jin to be horny on main. I still don't understand how Jin was the one who posted the video (we had some evidence it might have been someone else), but if he did or thinks he did, it only makes sense his fear would be related to it. But even so, I think his fear should've been more about him not protecting Non. We know that Jin liked Non and wanted to protect him. So why is his biggest fear everyone knowing he's horny on main? We know from Copper himself that Jin should've been percieved as a good character, but him fearing that what he did to Non happens to him is sort of selfish and absolutely not something I thought about Jin. But let's be honest, bad writing was screwing Jin over since like ep 6 (and it was doing it even harder than Phee) (sorry for this one, I'm leaving the room now).

Now Phee. His fear is obvious and he's the only one getting out of the hallucinations and saving the day. (probably) I didn't understand his momentarily need to save New??? Like buddy, you are in this mess because of him??? But him getting the antidote, saving Jin and then coming back for Tee: amazing, hot, I loved it. Only sad that was like 2 minutes of this tragedy.

New. Oh, New. He was a guy broken beyond repair and I knew he will go. I mostly hoped he would end his life himself after realizing what he did and what happened to Non, but he was too lost for that. But I'm okay with his ending.

FINALLY the holy grail of dissapointment. The ending itself. It suddenly cutting to "2 Years Later" got me thinking That's it??? It didn't even have the shock point, because I was confused the entire time. I was thinking why on earth would you end it like that? Why are PheeJin having happy ending (not that I didn't want it, but not like this, not like this, mate) and why is Tee having the bad ending (really, why?) and like what happened? What did police say? Why we skipped two years ... and suddenly BOOM, they smacked me across my face with that "oh, how did we get out then and why is Non over there?" ending. Like WHAT?

HELLO?

REALLY?

Like you really made me sit through 11 episodes, making my judgement and assumptions about every single character, wanting their ending to be whatever I felt they deserve and instead of giving me the shock, happiness, sadness of what you cooked for them you GIVE ME NOTHING?! OF ALL POSSIBLE CHOICES, YOU GIVE ME NOTHING?!

Is this like write your own ending thing or-? WHY WOULD YOU JUST LEAVE ME HANGING.

Not to mention there are lot of things unexplained.

Was Jin the one who really posted the video? There were lot of contradictions to it.

How on earth did New manage to prepare everything and hurt Por? We just heard it from Phee, who couldn't have possibly known. And some things like weren't adding up, even if we have the hallucinations thing.

What happened to Keng? Like, is he dead? But we never saw the body. Really, what's with him?

Who are the survivors? We might assume Phee, Jin and Tee, but are they? Are they all dead? What happened to them? This was literally why we all were here and we don't even get that answer?

That ending was soooooo anticlimatic and out of place. This kind of ending can work, but in a slasher movie where we don't care about characters that much and we are there just for the blood and murders (A Nightmare on Elm Street does this wonderfully, for example) but not in a drama, where we spent HOURS learning backstories of each character (except Top, like who is he?) and want to know what is their destiny.

It's like if the ending of Harry Potter was Harry and Voldemort about to fight, then cut to the 19 Years Later scene, but Harry sees Voldemort on the platform and then cut to broken Hogwarts and then end credits. Like, nah, that doesn't work.

I don't want to make my or yours suffering any longer that needed, so I will end this here. I'm very sad, very disappointed and very confused. I feel like I was robbed. This drama was so good, but the writing team just gave up somewhere around episode 9. It's like when I think of good plot for a fic, but don't come up with the ending and have to write just whatever to not leave it open.

Yep, thank you for reading this. The best part about this drama was without the doubt being able to share my thoughts and theorize with everyone. Thank you guys for it.

Special thanks goes to my beloved friends @tbhimnoteasyonmyself @ayansbff @jeffsatursgender and @toonstuna, who were watching each episode along with me and today (and not just today, for like past month and half) were very nice, kind and patient to listen to me ranting about everything for hours (as they were all ranting themselves). Love you all, guys, really <3

Thank you everyone who has been through this with me. Hopefully next time we will meet again at something less disappointing.

Baya!

#dead friend forever #dff #dff spoilers #thai bl #dff the series #thai drama #dead friend forever the series

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prettyboykatsuki · 2 years

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thirsty thoma thoughts please if you have try time, if you have anything filthy I want FILTHY because I know that man would take anything you give him with a smile on his face

—WEAK TO YOU | THOMA

♡ tags ;; arranged marriages, reader is from an unnamed but powerful clan, unqualified genshin writing, handjobs + fingering (no penetration), fem + afab reader, reader is wearing a dress, thoma is a bit subby

♡ wc ;; 1.6k

♡ a/n ;; anon this got SO out of hand so sorry.

"We're going to get caught."

"So?"

Thoma's expression twists into something unreadable - hands gliding over your waist as you push him up against the wall. Your breathing has gone soft and even as you lean into him with force and purpose.

"Would you rather not?" You pose, innocent. His eyes widen. You both know the answer is no, the half-mast in his pants giving it all away. Still, you offer the suggestion earnestly. Curious on whether he'll indulge your whims or if he'll push you off in embarrassment. Neither idea makes you angry.

Rather, pushing Thoma's buttons in such a way is delightfully amusing. For someone so happy and amicable — responsible really, you would've never expected him to be so easily flustered. That he'd crumble like fragile glass over even the most innocent of gestures. Your fiancé is always surprising you.

The proposal wasn't your doing, but your parents. It's an old story. You, the child of a powerful clan, finally at marriageable age. Like other things in your life - your responsibility in regards to your position overshadowed most everything else. Whims of love and fleeting romances were nothing more than fantasies to idly muse at. Most men who proposed to you were threatened by your presence and couldn't look you in the eye.

While your mother encourages you with warm words of her own love story, you've never once experienced something even close. The pleasant emotions and giddiness seemed foreign Many have tried to incite it in you but none succeeded. They think you're sheltered—that you'll be swayed by sweet words and expensive gifts. Truly, you found most of them pathetic. How boring.

Soon it became tedious. You weren't looking for someone to love. Just someone who didn't outright disgust you. Handsome and capable. It should've been an easy request you think but apparently not so.

Thoma was a happy accident. When you went into Komore Teahouse to meet him, you were sure it'd be another fluke.

But he exceeded all your expectations in the first five minutes you spoke to him. Firstly, he had no issue talking to you as if you were normal. Probably in part to his connection to the Kamisato clan. Secondly, he was very handsome. His green eyes were striking. He was friendly and pleasant.

When coming on the question of why he agreed to such a thing since he has no family ties, he sheepishly told you his companion encouraged him. Ayato Kamisato, who had once been in Thoma's same seat. The two of you ended things mutually, though not because you detested him. Apparently Ayato thought Thoma would be perfect fit for you.

And he was right—because you were terribly charmed by Thoma indeed. You don't really understand your mothers musings of love. It was then you realized perhaps you had a peculiar taste in men. You didn't want someone like your mother described, you wanted Thoma.

You told him as much almost immediately, and thus you've been engaged been engaged for nearly a year. Your father approved so it's set in stone. Every once in a while, you ask Thoma if he'd like to break-up just to tease him, but by now he admantly rejects the even the though. Always asking sweetly if he's upset you somehow.

Maybe because it's your natural position. Your job in being always respectable, always polite, always upright—that Thoma is someone you want so much. Like a puppy, always ready to listen. Who doesn’t expect anything from you but affection.

You like it about him, and you like more how innocent he is. Up until meeting him, your sexual desires were fleeting. Things you took care of privately with no interest in losing your virginity until marriage, under the assumption that you'd marry someone you find decent.

You didn't know you were so lewd until you met him. Clumsy but persistent to fulfill a life-long set of dormant urges. You didn't know you were so sadistic either.

That's why you can't help but approach him like this. It's the first time he's been allowed in your room with you alone and he's played the part of filial son-in-law better than you expected.

It's unkind to be like this to him. You can't help yourself though.

"O-of course, but your father is home. And your housekeeper is outside the door—"

"You've been staring at my neck all evening haven't you?" You hum. You feel him shift under you, bed creaking as shimmy forward until your legs are on either side of his thighs. He's red in the face.

"That's..."

"Did you think I wouldn't see you? Your eyes wander every time I walk. Right at slit where you can see my legs, isn't it?"

"Please be merciful." He pleads, voice thick. You pout.

"Why should I when you won't even touch me? Do I not tempt you?"

"Love," He says, breathy and desperate. You wrap your arms around his neck, heart thumping. How handsome he is never fails to make you weak "Don't even joke about that"

"Since you asked politely." You shift your weight again until your core is pressed over the fabric. You let the material of your outfit slip down your shoulders - neck exposed and breasts nearly bare. "I've listened to your request, won't you listen to mine?"

His hand sneaks up under your dress, the flowy material swishing as he slides it up. Squeezing the back of your thigh, he guides your hips towards him with a harsh sigh.

"We have to be quiet." He says ragged. You hum.

"And?"

"N-no more than this until we're married, okay?"

"How chivalrous of you." You say teasing. It's a bit funny that he's considerate in this way. You can see how much he wants it but the guilt insists he draws this line. You've married him for such things as this "No more, of course."

"Then," He takes a deep breath, warm green gaze peering at you through blonde lashes "Let me see."

You let the rest of the material fall of your body until you're completely bare. Nipples hardened, Thoma's gaze immediately travels down. You stand on your knees to take off what's underneath too, but you leave the dress on just in case. The material bunches at your waist as you pull it up. Thoma takes to holding it like. Pussy bare, you spread yourself apart for him to see. A thin string of sticky arousal as you pull yourself apart.

"Oh, Archons, you're—I mean, really."

"Will you only look?"

His hands still manage to hesitate. A sharp inhale, he lets his fingers trace the outside of your folds. Soft and gentle as usual, you'll touch each other just like this. Almost out of habit, his mouth finds your chest. Kisses on your sternum where your breast bone dips, mouth sucking and biting wherever he pleases. You moan softly at the sensation, a wave of euphoria starting at your center and splintering off.

He rubs your clit with the utmost care, in circles - just like how you taught him. His eyes are heavy, blinking slowly and drunk. You feel yourself drip onto his fingers. Syrupy and thick. You want to touch him, to feel his cock weep against your hand.

"I want to touch you." You assert through a breath "Won't you let me?"

You question him like this only because you know he's weak. Of course he'll let you. He stops everything to slide his pants down just far enough that his cock is free. Standing to attention, red tip already so achy. Seeing it makes your mind feel hazy, anticipation like a plague coursing through your veins.

"It'd be nice if we could marry sooner." You say smoothly. Thoma chokes, watches as you spit into your hand and wrap your palm around his shaft. "To feel you inside of me. I can't help but wonder. How would that feel? Of course I like your hands. They're much better than mine but—"

"Than yours?" He questions. You giggle.

"Did you think I were some pure innocent flower? I'm a lady with needs."

You do this in tandem. Your hands fisted around Thoma's cock while he slowly spreads you apart with his fingers. Gasping quietly when he intrudes, his palm up against your clit to give you the right type of tension. Desire swells in your stomach like a balloon when you hear him groan underneath you. You keep your movement steady.

"Than you...? To yourself?"

"Just with my fingers." He throbs in your hand. The faint redness in his skin suddenly becomes bright and his hands jitters in nervousness as he fucks you with his fingers. You roll your hips with a smile "Oh, I see."

"I like it better when you do it." You tease, feeling your core tighten as he pumps his fingers in and out of you. You can hear how wet you are. The flush in his skin and his desire for you turn you on "Y-your fingers are much better."

"Please. Please, I need you to—please."

He wants you to finish for him. He always waits for you. You moan as you clench around his fingers, the muscles in your body tightening as the knot slowly comes undone. Like the tension of a taut rope, you feel something your body snap. Heat crawls up your spine as you cum, hard enough that you tuck your chin and bit your lip to mask the sound. The postion has your thighs trembling. Re-opening your eyes, you glance down at his cock.

He looks out of it. Twitching so hard and so full of desire but keeping himself restrained patiently. How thoughtful.

"You can cum, Thoma." You say, sweetly. His head nearly knocks into the wall from where he throws it back. His adams apple bobbing. You use your free hand to cover his mouth, content it as he cums hard. Thick and white as it spills between your fingers.

When he opens his eyes again, he looks about ready to cry. You tilt your head.

"We were so loud." He says with a frown. You can't help but laugh at his reaction.

"Don't worry, darling." You coo, pressing a kiss to his hairline "I'd marry you even if my Father chased you out."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

#thoma x reader #thoma smut #genshin x reader #genshin smut

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ghostofskywalker · 1 year

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Hiii 🌼 spring fic for Carol Danvers, I don't have a plot idea really just anything you want xo

hi! i hope you enjoy this :)

words: 776

carol danvers masterlist

A Little Competition

Whenever you were cuddling with your girlfriend, you cat decided that it was now the perfect time to ruin the moment.

It had to have been some kind of specially developed skill that Apple Pie was gifted immediately before she was born, because the timing of every single interruption was nothing less than impeccable. She was normally a fairly independent animal, and other than the times she was hungry or thirsty, tended to leave you alone, usually content to just hang out in the same room as you and do her thing while you rested or relaxed.

Unless Carol was visiting.

The first few times it happened, you thought it was a fluke. It was simply a coincidence that she had run out of water or that Carol had come over right at the time when it was time for Apple Pie’s nightly meal. Your girlfriend had jokingly suggested that your cat didn’t like her, and at first you waved her off, until it didn’t really seem like just a joke anymore.

“I don’t know what it is!” you had complained one day, laying face down on the couch as you spoke to Carol on the phone. “Does she hate you for some reason I don’t understand?”

“Babe, your guess is as good as mine,” Carol responded, and you could hear the smile she wore over the phone. “I still think it’s just a coincidence.”

You sighed. “If it is a coincidence, the universe really likes to torture me.”

At that moment, Apple Pie was laying on the floor across the room, minding her own business as you wracked your brain to come up with potential reasons why she despised Carol and apparently had made it her life’s mission to never let you two cuddle.

The next time Carol came over for dinner, you had a few meetings that were keeping you late at work, so you just sent her a text to let herself in and that you would be home in a little bit. She texted you back saying that she would put in an order at your favorite pizza place (and of course you were going to agree to that, she was an angel).

By the time that you actually made it back to your home, there was nothing you wanted to do more than curl up with Carol and sleep. Absolutely nothing had gone right today, and even the traffic on the way home from work seemed like it was designed specifically to make you angrier. When you finally arrived home and stepped inside, you expected to see your girlfriend come out and greet you, or at least to hear the sound of the TV playing as she waited for you to get home, but the apartment was completely quiet.

“Carol?” you gently called out, wondering if she had been called away on Avengers business and simply not had the time to let you know. You could smell the pizza that she said she was going to order, so you guessed that if she did have to leave, at least you still had something for dinner tonight. But as soon as you set foot in the living room, you almost laughed out loud at the sight.

Carol was fast asleep on the couch, her mouth hanging open as she slept, and sitting comfortably on her lap (and also fast asleep) was Apple Pie. Your cat was flopped over on her back and also had her mouth slightly open as she slept, and the two of them looked so similar you could feel the tears of laughter start to form in your eyes. It was quite possibly the cutest thing you’ve ever gotten a chance to see, and you made sure to snap a few photos on your phone before you walked over and gently tapped Carol’s shoulder.

“Hey,” she said sleepily. “You’re home. Sorry I fell asleep.”

“Don’t worry about it,” you said, keeping your voice low so neither of you woke Apple Pie. ��Honestly, I’m tired too.”

“Then why don’t you come here?” Carol asked, patting the spot next to her on the couch. “We can all cuddle together.”

You didn’t need to be asked twice, and after a quick stop to change out of your work clothes and into your pajamas, you were settling in on the couch. “You know what I think?” you said to Carol right before you drifted off. “I don’t think Apple Pie hates you, I think she wanted to be included in the cuddling.”

Carol laughed as she leaned in and placed a kiss on your cheek. “I think you might be right about that.”

- the end -

#2023 spring ficlets 🐝#carol danvers #carol danvers x reader #carol danvers imagine #carol danvers x you #carol danvers x gender neutral reader #carol danvers fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #marvel x reader #captain marvel x reader

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bookofmirth · 3 months

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I'm sorry sad that Elain isn't taking credit for the King's death.

I think Sarah must be doing it on purpose, because to me it shows that they still see Elain as needing protection and prefer to cut off her participation.

Not that Elain might want to be reminded of this fact, because I still don't think she's going to be like her sisters . Death for her is not something easy to accept.

But the lack of recognition is really so strong.

But I wonder if in the future SJm will make any character outside the IC recognize Elain's achievements?

This doesn't make me sad, personally, because I think that Elain is likely haunted by her actions in the war. Yes, killing Hybern was the right thing to do. Elain saved Nesta and Cassian, she made a significant step to ending the war, it was incredibly important that she kill him.

But... Elain is not a killer. She's not the type of person to ever be comfortable with that type of violence. I have made a post before about this! You can read that here.

To me, it would be like someone saying "wow, I am so impressed that you killed those faeries when Amarantha forced you to!" to Feyre, because 1) it was necessary for Feyre to do, but 2) Feyre had nightmares about that. Did it lead to the greater good? It did!

I guess... I could see being upset that Elain isn't acknowledged from the perspective of no one ever really acknowledging what value she brings to the table. She's just there and nice and people probably dismiss her actions re: Hybern as a fluke. Which to me it is - like you said, death is not easy for her to accept and not something she wants to be involved with - but not in the way they mean. Hybern is a fluke because of what Elain values; I don't expect her to make killing people into a habit. It is NOT a fluke in the sense that she is capable of doing what needs to be done and people don't see that. She is capable of doing more, she just isn't noisy about it. Elain makes herself small, and so everyone assumes that is her natural form. Ugh now I am in my Elain feelings.

And also, since I assume you said this because of the Nesta&Az&Bryce bonus chapter, I think it just reinforces the fact that Azriel dismisses her actions as a fluke, too. He's just one in a long line of people who underestimate Elain. Which is one in a long line of reasons that I can never and will never ship it.

If we were to smush Sense and Sensibility on top of acotar, then Nesta is Marianne (not in the romantic sense, just the emotive sense), and Elain is Elinor (in the stoic, "someone in this room needs to be calm and I guess it's me" sense). That makes it easy for people to forget that actually, Elain does have thoughts and feelings and desires and isn't just FINE all the fucking time.

I can't wait until she starts to assert herself more 🥲

#this response was all over the place #whoops #you made me think thoughts #elain #acotar #ask #anon #antielriel #hofas spoilers #house of flame and shadow spoilers #spoilers #hofas bonus chapter

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infamous-if · 1 year

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You don’t need to post this but just so you know, it really does sounding like almost no one in the story who have witness to or have heard the MC’s work think it is very interesting at all 🫣, and just occasionally a person will randomly appreciate for some reason, such as Orion. I think maybe a lot of readers might had anticipated a type of MC that has the experience of undeniably suited for this and so on, in the way you have sometimes describe some others in the story, such as S

Hi ! Sorry but I'm going to post this mostly (and apologies that your ask is the one who is gonna get this long response, my ire isn't towards you because you're being very kind about it but others have, honestly, not been) because other people probably have this thought as well but I'm sort of confused on where this whole idea of MC being useless/untalented/not suitable is coming from?

I've said before there will be people who question MC's talent, but that's just natural--not everyone is going to think someone is worthy of their fame and attention. People thinking that there are better singers out there doesn't invalidate what MC is capable of. If I wrote a story where every person thinks MC is the greatest thing since sliced bread then that wouldn't be an entertaining story lol You need tension, and you need naysayers so every win can feel satisfying. Plus, doubters is a natural and normal thing in the business. MC is literally in a competition where other very talented bands are competing. Even though they're the main character, they're the main character of their story. Not everyone elses. Other bands believe they are just as deserving--if not more--of winning than MC's band. It's natural. To those bands MC is just another person they need to beat to win.

Seven being more famous doesn't mean MC isn't talented (the band literally voted for MC's vocals over Seven's). G being more famous doesn't mean MC isn't talented. Hell, if MC's band lost BOTB and went home empty handed, that doesn't mean MC isn't talented. It's part of the competition. Amazing bands and amazing singers get rejected all the time. There isn't room for everybody.

I do want to mention that people probably feel this way because I can not give concrete answers about an MC that is largely customizable. In the game, your MC can lack confidence. Or they can be arrogant. They can believe their skills are lackluster, or they can believe they are the best singer alive. People expect me to answer questions that have varied answers depending on what MC each player is playing. I can't give you that! I do my best.

Orion listened to MC once and quit his job to manage them.

2. August auditioned to be their drummer, and while August is largely indifferent, they admit themselves they were interested and they tell MC how good MC's voice is.

3. Maya is quite literally following MC's band around the USA because she's that much of a fan.

4. Seven dislikes MC, but Seven is not a liar: they will always stand by their opinion that MC is talented. That's one of the biggest reasons why Seven liked MC so much: their artistry.

4. This is spoilery but fuck it: G listened to MC once and wanted MC's band in BOTB.

idk why people think that people listen to MC and get bored when I don't think I've ever indicated that? The demo isn't even out lshshdhsahs

anyway this isn't an attack on you anon but it is kind of frustrating that people think MC is just this untalented fluke that didn't work hard to get to where they are today. Just as much as MC is yours, they're also mine, and I wanted to make it clear that MC isn't lazy nor are they someone who just does nothing and doesn't try. At least that part isn't customizable: MC works and has worked really freaking hard to be where they are.

sorry for the long response and once again, this isn't an attack on you, but this has been a topic in my inbox and i just dont get it--the demo is literally not even out.

#inbox #mc #now im very wary of a HUGE plot point in this game #and i feel like it'll only validate people who think MC is useless #when theyre not lol

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nine-of-words · 10 months

Text

No Vacancy (Part Four)

M Orc x M Merfolk Reader

PREVIOUS || STORY TAG || NEXT

Wordcount: 3291

Content Warnings: Brief Non-Graphic Depiction of Sex Work, Slit Fingering/Anal Fingering, Masturbation, Sexual Harassment

Did my best with the content warnings this time, but honestly not sure how I would even tag some of the stuff in this part? Regardless, we’re over the hump now for this story! Just two more parts to go :)

Inadequate. Pitiful. Embarrassing.

These are just some of the words that could describe this situation.

<I’m sorry, this has never been a problem before.> You sign to your client, frustrated. <It’s not your fault.>

<It’s okay, I’m sure this happens to everyone sometimes, right?> Your client signs to you in return, attempting to comfort you with a sheepish look.

In the couple of years you’ve been doing this - you have never had any trouble getting the job done before.

But now this-

You can’t even present the tool needed to complete the task. No matter what you do, your dick stubbornly won’t emerge from your genital vent. The thing might as well be welded shut.

It’s not like the client is unappealing to you, either. You find most mermaids attractive on some level - but it’s never had much to do with how they look, anyway. It’s just a job to you, a pleasant biological process that you exchange for extra gold every June and December.

Eventually, you both decide to give up. There’s no point in wasting any more of either of your time when it’s clear that nothing is going to happen.

You push the seaweed curtain to the side as you swim out of the mermaid’s private cove, still absolutely mortified.

It seems all you’re doing lately is fleeing awkward situations…

The client was nice enough to be graceful about your failure to do your job. Your boss, on the other hand, is not going to be so nice.

The next day when you arrive, Madame does indeed rip you a new one.

<What happened?> She signs, her ornately lacquered finger nails a bit more tense than normal from her clear irritation.

You sign in turn, movements trailing off into the next as you try to collect your thoughts better. <We just didn’t… click.>

In the back of your mind, you know exactly why you failed, even if you haven’t fully accepted it yourself yet.

<Unacceptable. This isn't a question of personal preference, you’re still expected to perform.> Her brightly lined eyes narrow at you, and her fins flare out in thought. <Your track record is spotless- aside from the cyclone this past summer- so this is rather surprising.>

<So, you already know I can do better.> You reassure her. If anything, you know how to market yourself. <It was just a fluke.>

Is she… actually showing concern?

<;A permanent leave. Not everyone can handle this job, after all.> She continues, shattering any hope of relief.

No, of course not. Of course it's only about metrics.

<No! No. I need the gold.>

<Well, if that's the case, I need your assignments done without issue. It will hurt the reputation of my business if you can't even manage that much.>

<Please give me another chance.> You're sick to your stomach that you're groveling like this to keep a job you don't even really want. You have too much self worth for the taste to go down smoothly. The extra pay is just too good to let go. <It won't happen again.>

<Make sure it doesn't.> She swims over to the cove wall where several rectangular planks of carved abalone and nacre are strung along a rope. She pulls off a blush pink plank with your next assignment's location painted on it off the line and then swims back over to hand it to you.

You swim out of there, and out of the lobby so fast the receptionist probably only sees a blur of blue and purple.

You're absolutely seething. You're surprised the water isn't boiling around your face, with all the heat of the restrained anger gathered there.

It was difficult to resist the urge to quit on the spot. You wish you could…

But it pays so, so much better than your regular courier gigs, and it’s only two months of the year.

So, you swallow your pride. It's all you can do.

After hours of high speed swimming and your anger has finally cooled off considerably, you start thinking about taking a break.

Normally on this route, you’d book a room for an overnight rest when you caught up to Varuj’s ship, but…

You cringe even thinking about it now.

How could you even face him after what happened the last time? What would you even say?

Even with your mind fully occupied with self-scolding and self-loathing, your body has absent-mindedly navigated to follow his ship’s route. And sure enough, as soon as you’ve realized it, you spot a familiar keel in the distance.

You want to talk to him. You miss talking to him already. You just… have to actually say something….

But what?

Slowing from your rapid cruising speed, you pull up alongside the boat’s side. You barely break the surface enough to scan for a sign of him above deck in the crowd of people enjoying the clear weather.

He's chatting to some of his passengers like he usually does, with an effortless charisma. Varuj may not be loud or bombastic or overtly attention grabbing, but he has such a warm personality that people tend to naturally gravitate to him. Even during your stays, he often ends up with a small group of tourists around him- he can turn anyone into a friend, it seems.

…Even people like Uttar, apparently. The thought leaves a sour taste in your mouth.

Varuj seems to be doing fine. Great, even. He's certainly at least behaving normally, which is more than what could be said for you.

Why is that, when you're this torn up? When it feels like your entire life has been shattered to pieces?

Things were going fine. He just had to suggest making things more… involved…

Being able to quit sounded so nice at face value, but he doesn't know the reason you're doing this. You'll never pay off your debt if you go back to normal, less shady courier work.

Varuj did offer you work, but… who knows if that'd be enough, either.

More importantly, you don't want to be indebted to him like that, not anymore than you want to be to Uttar- or anyone else, for that matter.

What was he thinking, even suggesting that? Maybe he was just drunk…

You grimace and dip back underneath the white caps before you're spotted.

You can't deal with this right now. You don't want to know, if that's the case, anyway.

You eventually find a cove to rent for the night, but it's annoyingly far out of the way of your route back. You prefer staying on Varuj's ship on your work journeys because the vessel keeps making progress in the right direction while you rest… that's not the only reason, of course, but it's what you're lamenting the most as you mire yourself between the bunches of kelp, trying to get comfortable.

But no matter how you arrange yourself, you can't seem to find a position you feel at ease. Your body is still far too worked up from earlier, and craving the release it didn’t get.

Your mind wanders back to where you'd rather be; what you’d rather be doing and who you’d rather be doing it with, and your hands follow suit.

The soft edges of your vent are warm to the touch and throbbing lightly already, just remembering how it feels.

Really? Now? You mentally chide your body.

You lightly trace your opening the way Varuj usually does at the beginning of an encounter. The more you think about him, the more your muscles loosen up obediently, viscous natural lubricant starting to coat your fingers.

Where was this enthusiasm when I needed it earlier?

After barely any encouragement, your cock has already begun to emerge from the top portion of your slit from the sensation, stiff and craving the warm squeeze of his mouth and the smooth point of his tusks on your inner thighs.

Ugh… why did it have to be like this?

It makes sense, you guess.

It’s different with Varuj than with clients, anyway, to the point that you’d much rather it be him than a client. There’s a level of freedom there that you don’t get when it’s someone you’re assigned to please- at least that’s what you’ve been telling yourself.

You had such a good thing going. It was… Easy. And now…

He just wants to tie you down, like everyone else.

And nothing good ever comes out of owing anyone anything.

At some point, the heady thoughts about his mouth on your cock has shifted into thoughts about his mouth on your own instead; a prospect that is equal parts exciting and confusing. You’ve never been so aroused by the thought of kissing someone, but here you are. Before him, you didn’t even think you were even all that interested in kissing. But remembering the sensation of warm, slick tongue muscle and the soft hum of affirmative grunting against your lips, you find that you’ve really come to crave it.

Tentatively, you start pressing into your lower slit and into your entrance, thinking of his girthy fingers being the ones pressing inside instead.

To your surprise and moreso chagrin, your fingers slip inside with almost insulting ease. Spurred on by lust, you slowly, firmly, press your fingers deeper inside.

You never expected things to end up like this. While you’ve always enjoyed Varuj’s company, you prefer your boundaries well defined, and he is far from your usual type.

But you can't deny the effect fantasizing about him is having on you- No resistance, with each little wriggle of your fingers making your hips jerk against your hand. A stark difference from your failed attempts to do your job lately.

Unfortunately, lightly fingering yourself isn’t really satisfying you enough. You’re accustomed to more mass than even three of your fingers can achieve, and they can’t recreate the knobby texture ubiquitous of his orcish dick.

Chasing the memory of that feeling, your fingers move more emphatically on their own. They thrust deeper in, with more firm pressure behind your strokes until you feel the dizzying jolts of pleasure going straight behind your eyes.

You’re so worked up that it doesn't take much of that solid rhythm to push you over the edge. The edges of your vent contract around your fingers, clenching along with the pelvic muscles forcing cum out of you. Thick, vicious seed disperses into the water above you, suspended in the mild current as it slowly disappears.

Your gills pulse in silent panting. It felt good, but there's a deep pit of dread hollowing out your chest overshadowing the afterglow.

It’s as you suspected, as if you really needed to investigate it. Your dick definitely still works. Your body isn’t suddenly incapable of arousal- though it might be easier if that was the case - it’s a natural side effect that commonly happens to some merfolk.

It’s spawnlock.

Varuj is the only partner your body will accept now, whether in person or just the thought of him.

You know exactly what that means.

As much as you have been denying it and avoiding it and lying to yourself the feeling is there, and being expressed by your body regardless of your permission.

You love him.

And the feelings you’ve developed for him are now a physical obstacle for your work.

…This is bad.

You rub your face with a palm in frustration and exhaustion, swaying silently in the water for the rest of the night.

In the morning, you still continue to your next client’s location, though the tenseness in your shoulders makes swimming much less enjoyable.

This can still work. Maybe if you just… think about him hard enough, you can bypass the effect?

You spend the rest of your travel trying to psych yourself up and push through, to continue on like nothing has happened. You get all the way there and begin the session, stubbornly committing.

It does not work like you’d hoped. No matter what you try, it’s the same results as before.

…Unfortunately, your willpower isn’t strong enough to trick your body. Just thinking about him isn’t enough, not with the presence of another person and not him.

<What’s this? You fall in love on the way over here?> Your client signs, punctuating her thoughts by curling her fingers in manual laughter.

At least she’s amused. You don’t know if it’s worse or better this way; you suppose it’s better than her being angry, but you’re not sure how much more bruising your ego can take.

You apologize, accepting defeat much quick this time than the last, and leave the client’s dwelling in shame as fast as your fins can manage.

A cold hand of dread grips your chest as you exit the cove.

There’s no way around it. You can’t work this job anymore, and it’s your own fault.

You don’t even bother taking a rest this time, instead rushing through the swim to get back to Madame’s place. You’d rather just face the music and get it over with.

The trip is strangely serene. You expected to be panicking on what this means for how you can pay off your debt, but all you feel is a calm, empty resentment for your situation.

<You have a lot of nerve coming back here.> She points at you accusatorily as you enter. <You asked for a second chance and this is what you do with it?>

You set the plank with the information about your last failed job on her desk.

<Look. I did my best. But->

She swipes her hand through the water, interrupting you.

<There’s not much to explain.> Her expression is somewhere between scorn and pity. <You got yourself a little crush?>

<I've been doing this a long time.> She shakes her head in admonishment. <It’s not a past client, I hope? That never ends well.>

You don't respond. The fins on the sides of your head flutter through the water in simmering rage, the only movement you're making as you stare her down. Your hands don't need to do the speaking when your eyes are certainly already taking care of it.

<Your contract is void.> She signs pointedly, her glossy lips pulled into a tight, sanctimonious grimace as she seems to savor adding the last movements. <You're fired.>

<You don’t have to fire me - I quit!> You finally snap and sign the last word over and over for emphasis, letting the simmering frustration boil over. <Quit. Quit. Quit.>

You turn your back and storm out, your hands still repeatedly forming the decoupling shape of quit as you go- it’s petty, but you're going to have the last word.

You want nothing more than to run- just swim off so far and so fast that you can leave all of this behind.

But what’s the point in trying? The tracking rune that was placed on you when you were saddled with the debt would only make it a matter of time until you were caught, anyway.

Swimming aimlessly calms you down eventually… You realize you’re following Varuj’s ship route, again.

This time you force yourself to veer off, deciding to go to where Uttar’s ship would be right now. You don’t want to, but he’ll find out what happened sooner rather than later. He’ll at least have a courier job for you to pick up, most likely…

You feel detached from your body when you finally arrive. Every bone and scale on your body is telling you not to board the ship… but you do. You have to.

“Well, would ye look at that,” Uttar says, picking his teeth in a tarnished, ornate handmirror. “Favorite little fish ‘o mine is back early. But Spawn’s still goin’ for another week or so, aye?”

You know he already knows what happened. Once again, he just delights in yanking you around.

“That arrangement’s not working out anymore. This isn’t something I can keep doing.”

“Real shame that is. As I recall it, you don’t exactly have the luxury to be picky about what jobs ye choose to take.”

“It’s not a choice.” You clench your fists at your sides, trying to keep your voice even and unraised, determined to not let him feed off of any reaction. “I physically can’t do it. Not that it’s any of your business.”

“None a’my business? You are business-” You can basically smell the burning rubber from his speech grinding to a halt as the gears visibly work in his head.

Then, with the realization, he laughs boisterously. It’s a nasty, cruel laugh, meant to taunt you in and of itself. He drops the mirror and gets up from his seat, coming around the side of his desk to approach you.

“Oh, hoho, fishie’s gone an’ fallen in loooooove, ‘ave we?” He throws an arm around your shoulders in a clearly fake, over-acted chummy manner. You resist the urge to dig your teeth into his forearm and not let go. “Who’s the lucky lady? Or gent, more like?”

He’s playing dumb to make the end result more vicious. You know, because you’ve heard that tone before.

“Must be ol’ Rujie, huh? Seein’ as ye were at his little shindig the other day. Looked like ya saw a ghost when ya seen me there!”

“No.” You say, not convincing anyone. You hate that he’s even talking about him.

“Me an’ him go way back, y’know?” Uttar continues, absolutely ignoring the fact that you attempted to deny it. “If I’m bein’ honest with ya, though? -Because y’know I have yer best interest at heart- the salty dog laid with each an’ every able bodied seaman he could get his mitts on. With ya here like this workin’? He’s probably got his mitts on some other man as we speak.”

“We’re not dating.” You say coldly, a deep disgust that he’s trying to smear Varuj’s character tying a knot in your stomach.

“Aye? Got ya all loved up and then cut ya loose?” His arm around your shoulder tightens. “Well, a pity, that; it limitin’ yer options an’ all. The merladies pay much better during Spawn times, as y’know. Landlubbers won’t pay quite as well; but their gold’s still gold. And you still have a debt to pay off.”

“Landlubbers…?” You repeat, the full realization of what he’s saying begins to sink in. “...Oh...”

“What, thought ya were off the hook?” He laughs another cutting acidic laugh, and moves his arm to swat you on the ass. “Ya might be locked up in front, but from where yer standin’, round back will still work fine.”

You’re unable to protest the crossed physical boundary, too shocked to even speak.

“Maybe yer gonna think twice about letting me knock some o’ that interest off, aye? For now, go ahead an’ deliver this parcel for me.” Uttar shoves one of the typical shady-looking wrapped packages you’re used to delivering into your open palms. “I’ll line up a new Madame from one of the pleasure boats to handle ye between runs. Ye’ll be back to work by time yer back, ain’t that nice?”

He keeps talking, but it’s just a verbal slurry at this point.

You swallow dryly, and your fingers slowly clench around the parcel in numb, wordless despair.

>> ✨ MASTERLIST >> ☕ KO-FI

#exophilia #monster lover #monster romance #mlm #monster x reader #orc #orc x reader #male monster #male reader #merman reader #gay exophilia #mlm exophilia #oc: noa #oc: varuj #series: no vacancy #nine of words

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mermaidsirennikita · 4 months

Note

and none for bradley cooper! you love to see it

He was MAD too. You could see it written on his face, and he's always been rumored to have thrown a fit over not getting nominated for Best Director for ASIB (even though he WAS nominated for Best Actor).

I think he's just... so bizarrely entitled. I'm not saying he isn't a talented actor (directing... who knows if ASIB was a fluke, and I do think he benefited from it being a remake, with three versions to draw from--it wasn't even the first one to focus on the music industry versus the movie industry). But Bradley was a comedy guy for years, and many of those movies were absolute stinkers. The Hangover Part II and III, He's Just Not That Into You, ALL ABOUT STEVE??? He was the "Not Michael Vartan" on Alias.

He really began to turn it around (moviewise) with Silver Linings Playbook and his other David O. Russell movies (which....) and tbh other actors understandably always got more attention--Jennifer Lawrence, Christian Bale, Amy Adams. He wasn't ever this guy who LOST BY A HAIR or was seen as like... super respected but passed over. Leonardo DiCaprio, easily one of the best actors of his gen, got passed over for an Oscar 4x (never mind the times when he wasn't nominated and should've been lol) and he's probably about to have another loss lol. Bradley has been nommed 4x, and let me tell you, he ain't Leo.

It seems like he has this very "I'm due" perspective, when much better actors, including those who have BEEN respected and seen as True Artists for way longer than he has (like Cillian) have waited way longer to get their flowers. It's like... no dude. You have been THISCLOSE to clinching.

Like, let's get granular. SLP, he lost to DANIEL DAY-LEWIS. DDL. One of the GOATs. Did you REALLY think you were gonna beat DANIEL. DAY-LEWIS. There were (other) better performances than Bradley that year (I think Denzel was excellent in Flight) but it wasn't even close, dude.

American Hustle--admittedly this was a shitty category that year, full of shitty people. But Jared Leto was very much seen as a shoe-in, as much as I hate to say it. Barkhad Abdi, I'm sorry.

American Sniper--honestly, such a bad movie lol. And he lost to Eddie Redmayne (whew, The Theory of Everything has taken a hit recently) who was in a very standard, "he had to work really hard physically" movie, but like... he did legit have to do some challenging work. And if it wasn't him, it would've been Michael Keaton, who was in a really different movie and had a strong comeback narrative.

ASIB--honestly, his strongest showing to me, but he wasn't ever gonna win. Rami was seen as obligatory after Bohemian Rhapsody. Which... I think Rami is a great actor. BR was a mess with a frankly disrespectful depiction of Freddie Mercury. I don't think it was THAT GREAT a performance either. But he did go into it very expected to win. This is probably the closest Bradley got and honestly, I would've given it to him because the category was weak that year, but I don't think he had a REALLY GOOD chance. Rami was anointed by then. And tbh, when he got passed over for Best Director... I think the writing was on the wall. I think he over-campaigned, and Lady Gaga was the real centerpiece and everyone knew it.

Again, this really wasn't a moment where it's like "WHEN WILL HE HAVE HIS MOMENT" like Leo. He's a good actor. There are a LOTTA better actors. The idea that he can compete with Cillian in... any of the above performances, let alone in MAESTRO, against what Cillian did in Oppenheimer especially, is delusional lol. Tommy Shelby Cillian, if he was up for an Oscar, would step on Bradley performance-wise, let alone Oppenheimer. I'm not even an Oppenheimer stan, but the black and white shots of him with the hat alone are like, already kinda icon lol. This. Is. His. Moment.

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eridanidreams · 4 months

Note

wip roundup London Calling: for Odysseus Gambit And A Sweet Lie, A Poison Truth: for from Stars

London Calling is set just after the end of Mankind Divided. David's flown Sloane out from Prague due to the anti-aug backlash, intending to spend quality time with his daughter (which is causing some friction because he keeps thinking he knows everything from his surveillance of her, and he really doesn't, but Sarif, y'know?). And since Adam's also in London, David gets the bright idea to introduce the two of them. After all, he's been trying to get them together for months now and Sloane keeps blowing him off and he just doesn't understand why! (She keeps telling him, "you don't need to introduce me to your security chief". Just... like... that. Not her fault he hears "don't introduce me to him...")

This is very much a WIP, and will likely see significant revisions as I continue to work out exactly what happened behind the scenes at Apex, but the part I know that's going to stay is Sloane yanking Sarif up by the short hairs regarding his actions in Human Revolution...

David leaned back in his chair and looked at them with an air of pride. “And seeing the both of you here, hale and whole, I’m glad I did.”

The very last thing he was expecting was Adam’s sardonic, “’Whole’ is an interesting way to put it, but who am I to argue?” Sloane’s brow furrowed, and she glanced sharply between him and Adam.

“What are you talking about, Adam?” David was genuinely confused. “Look at you, son!”

“Yeah.” Adam sounded unimpressed. “Look at me. More metal than meat, your name plastered all over me.” He snorted. “Pretty sure I never asked for this.”

Sloane held up a finger. “Just a minute,” she said, and David watched Adam’s shoulders stiffen. “Adam, are you saying that you didn’t consent to your initial augmentation?”

“I was unconscious,” Adam said, quietly. “There was a clause in my employment contract making Sarif my legal medical proxy in the absence of my designated proxy.”

“That,” she said, very precisely, “is not a ‘no’.”

“I—” David fell silent as she levelled stormy eyes on him.

“Adam?” she asked, in a tone of exquisite courtesy that still failed to hide the anger simmering beneath.

Adam sighed. “My left arm, chest cavity, and parts of my head and face needed to be replaced.”

“I see,” she said, still staring at David. “Let me guess, you knew that Adam was a genetic fluke, that he wouldn’t need Neuropozyne, and that because of that, you could stuff him full of cutting-edge augmentations. A showpiece and a private army all in one package.”

David winced. It sounded so crass when she put it in those terms. “That’s not—”

Sloane placed both hands on the table and slowly rose to her full height, and somehow, she managed to fill the room with her voice without raising the volume. “Medical ethics, Sarif. Have you ever heard of them? How about bodily autonomy?” He opened his mouth to protest, and “—and don’t you even try to tell me that you had the legal right, because we all know that what is legal and what is right are not always the same.”

“HE ALMOST DIED!” Sarif was on his own feet. “Do you have any idea what that was like? I thought—our entire research team was dead, and half the security force besides! I had one chance to salvage something! Salvage him! I had to make a choice, and it wasn’t just Adam’s survival on the line, but Sarif Industries!” Sarif’s breath came hard and fast. How could she not understand? “We—he—needed to be able to survive if they came back.”

She took a deep breath, and then Adam placed a hand gently on her arm. “Sweetheart,” he said, roughly, “will you do me a favor and give us a moment?” Her eyes snapped to his, and he gave her a little nod. She glanced at David, briefly, then placed a kiss on Adam’s forehead—making her partisanship clear—and stalked out of the room.

“Adam—” David’s voice cracked.

“Before you ask,” Adam said, “I didn’t put her up to that. But I’m also not sorry she said it. It needed to be said.”

David stared at him in shock. “Et tu, Adam?”

Adam snorted bitterly. “Don’t try to pass yourself off as the one betrayed, Sarif. Everything about my time at Sarif Industries was a lie, from the moment I was hired.”

David shook his head. “That’s a little melodramatic, don’t you think? Believe it or not, I hired you on your own merits. The rest of it,” he waved his hand dismissively, “was just a bonus.”

Adam slammed a hand down on the table hard enough to make the china jump. “No. Stop trying to weasel out of it. You did this when I called you on the hole in the firewall, and again with Radford, and by god, for once you are going to take some responsibility for your actions.”

“What do you want me to say, Adam? That I’m sorry?” David spread his hands wide. “If I hadn’t given you what I did, you—and a hell of a lot of other people—would be dead right now. Am I supposed to regret that?”

“Ah. The utilitarian argument. Greatest good for the greatest number; too bad for the poor bastard that gets sacrificed for the rest.” Adam’s snort this time was less bitter and more contemptuous. “For someone who hates the Illuminati so much, you’re quick to adopt their methods.”

#adam jensen #deus ex mankind divided #fanfic #deus ex #sloane delacourt #david sarif #odysseus gambit #eridani writes

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thrxughthenxght · 8 months

Note

"I'm sorry to keep you waiting," Wylan said, announcing his presence. He smoothed down the sleeves of his jacket and tightened his tie. He glanced up and regarded the man in front of him.

"I've seen you in the papers," he said, not meaning to be so blunt. "You run that circus, don't you?"

The man, stood awkwardly against Wylan's mantel as if he wasn't used to being squashed into a corner, nodded. He set down the bronze ornament he'd been examining and held out a gloved hand.

"Kaz Brekker," he said without a smile, "at your service."

Wylan shook the outstretched hand. The leather of Kaz's gloves rubbed against his palm.

"What can I do for you, Mr Brekker?" As he let go of Kaz's hand, Kaz produced a coin from thin air. Wylan raised his eyebrows in an imitation of shock.

"It's more what I can do for you." Kaz's closed his hand over the coin and when he opened it, the coin was gone. He set both hands on his cane and leaned forward. "I'm here to speak to you about an investment."

Wylan's eyebrows went up his head in real shock this time. He tried for a smile. "I do have five minutes to waste."

Kaz's lips quirked in a sardonic impression of a smile. "I'm honoured," he said sarcastically. "I want to talk to you about a proposition concerning my circus."

Wylan turned away to walk behind his desk. "Indeed?" He pushed the morning paper away from the centre of his desk. The printed image on the front didn't do Kaz's piercing stare justice. Wylan glanced up but couldn't quite meet his gaze.

"You're a pragmatic man, Mr Van Eck."

"Just call me Wylan," said Wylan distractedly.

"How long have you been running the Van Eck business?"

Wylan paused. "8 years," he said slowly. "Long enough to know when I'm being strung along." He rolled his shoulders back, attempting to look even a little more like the stone-cold businessman he was meant to be. "Why don't we just get to the point, Mr Brekker? Why are you here?"

Kaz tapped his cane once against the floor. Wylan half expected paper flowers to pop out of the top.

"My circus is in need of an investment, so we may bring in more profit," he said. "We are also in need of a higher brow audience. Those are things /you/ can provide."

Wylan raised an eyebrow. "And what makes you think I want to?"

Kaz shrugged minutely. "You would become something of a partner in the business."

"I'm not interested in becoming a freak for your show, Mr Brekker," Wylan said, each word edged with sharp frost. He collected a few papers of equations and shuffled them into a neat pile. Just do to something.

"I don't deal in freaks," Kaz said, his words just as cold. "And you wouldn't be on display. You would be behind the scenes, like me. Stuck in an office," he wafted his cane around, presenting Wylan's office to himself, "rather like this one."

Wylan forced himself to swallow and dropped the papers. He spread his hands along the desk, the mahogany cool under his fingers.

"You still haven't explained what's in it for me," he said slowly. "Investing in your sideshow could seriously tank my already precarious reputation."

"Or it could make it." Kaz's cane thudded unevenly on the carpet as he strode towards Wylan. "My circus /is/ quality. I don't just say that because it's mine, I say it because it's true. I don't deal in lies very often."

"You're a ringmaster."

"And a businessman, like yourself," Kaz said, barely giving Wylan time to finish before he spoke again. "I know /when/ to tell the truth. If you do not wish to invest your money in my operation, so be it. I will find someone else. But when I am gracing the front page," he stabbed the paper on Wylan's desk with a finger, "not just as a fluke but as a constant attraction, you will be kicking yourself that you did not invest when you had the chance."

Wylan attempted to hold his bitter shadow-brown gaze. He failed. He dropped his eyes.

"I'm still not convinced," he said and to tell the truth, he wasn't.

"Come see the show tonight," Kaz said. "I can get you front row seats, free of charge, and a tour of the acts afterwards. See if that will change your mind."

Wylan had been looking for a way to get out of that Mercher Council dinner that night. He'd been considering faking a sudden anaemic faint. This was a much better excuse.

"Very well."

✨Silver Threads and their Bronze Lies Snippet ✨

AHHHHHHHHHHH LOVE IT BLAIZE I LOVE IT

I nominate Wylan to be part of the show but I GET IT'S NOT THE VIBE I JUST LIKE IT WHEN WYLAN SINGS IN FICS (He's so talented<3)(But aren't all the crows?)

Kaz being his cryptic self talking about money and honesty <3333

I love Wylan running his own business I think it's a very interesting idea because I've never seen him as a mercher in a fic without Jesper around 👀

I thought you were talking about Wylan's eyes for a minute and I was like "Please feed me book canon 😭" and then I realized you were talking about Kaz and "bitter shadow-brown" is a fucking beautiful and terrifying way to describe his eyes and I'm living for it 👀👀

I am looking forward to any future snippets and the fic when you do it 👀🤗

#I request Inej and Jesper doing their acrobatics the next time you get a chance bestie #but no rush <3 #I've never seen you really write a full blown action scene do you like them?#or do you not consider performance like an action?#because different authors have different takes on them #just curious 🤗#blaize <3 #blaize's ask #six of crows #a thread of silver and their bronze lies #questioning lore

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boys-love-tension · 1 year

Text

GMMTV 2023

Sorry BL fam, it’s been a while. I was involved in creating content for TIKTOK, so I couldn’t make time for Tumblr. However, as you know, GMMTV announced its 2023 lineup last month. I wanted to write a post talking about my thoughts about each series.

1. Cooking Crush

OffGun is one pairing where I trust the actors 100%. I trust their choice in the series they choose to act in. Cooking Crush wouldn’t be a series I usually watch, mainly because I am not that into cooking or culinary stories. However, Gun, Off, Neo and Mark will be in this series, along with Victor, who will play a side character. I am honestly looking forward to this. After Not Me, which was a series very serious, demanding a lot from the actors that were on it, this will be more lighthearted. Honestly, sometimes, all we need is a good rom-com. I hope they don’t make the humorous moments whacky since I don’t laugh at slapstick comedy. I prefer subtle humour or innuendos. Lastly, its great that Off and Gun want to work together even after years of being a pairing. I really admire their bond and the energy they bring to the table. Nothing can replace that for me, no new ship.

2. A Boss and a Babe

A boss and a what? The title honestly made me laugh when I was watching the live. I couldn’t believe it. I really hope they change the title to something less “babe” LMAO.

Let me be honest; I don’t like the Boss and Employee dynamic. Mainly because I have a full-time job in a company where they really follow these structures, and often you hear about harassment from directors and partners to senior associates or associates. When I heard the storyline, I wasn’t happy. This is the same reason I don’t watch any secretary Korean dramas because I can’t romanticise them.

However, Force and Book as actors are amazing. I wish GMMTV would give them a good storyline (cough Only Friends). Book and Force, if you are reading this, please know that I love you both as actors, but this storyline isn’t something I am looking forward to. We also get to see Drake, Mike, Fluke and Ohm as side characters in this series. Really looking forward to seeing them shine as well. Also, GMMTV, when are you going to give Drake a main role? I’m waiting.

3. 23.5

THE FIRST GIRL LOVE FROM GMMTV. Honestly, I have been waiting for this. Ever since Bad Buddy ended, I have had this emptiness in me. LOL seriously. I have been thinking, what kind of storyline would they give MilkLove?! Ongsa (played by Milk) is a loner who falls in love at first sight with Sun (played by Love). Thinking she would get rejected, she creates another identity - Earth and approaches Sun. As things develop between Sun and Earth, will Ongsa get the courage to be honest?

While I would’ve preferred only MilkLove in the series but they also decided to introduce a side couple in the series. I love GeminiFourth but I hope they let MilkLove shine over here.

I also love the trope for this series, its simple and to the point. I hope the director is able to convey the emotions properly as GLs are different from BLs. Lastly, I’m excited to see the industry take an interest in GLs. Excited to see this come through 🙈

4. Last Twilight

Directed by the greatest - P'Aof is coming back with an ORIGINAL series. Last Twilight talks about how Mork (played by Jimmy), a mechanic by tradition, is forced to take a job as a caretaker of Day (played by Sea), who has partial blindness. Not only is the premise of the story beautiful, but even from the mock trailer, we can see spectacular cinematography, which only makes me curious about the end result. I enjoyed Jimmy and Sea's acting in Vice Versa (which is underrated). I am excited to see them come back together with another show. P'Aof is known to make some of the best series in GMMTV, so my expectations for this are genuinely HIGH. Also, I hope I don't come across as creepy, but I want to know what P'Aof is thinking when he is directing a series or planning a new one. He truly comes up with the best pairings and the best shows. I hope Last Twilight gets to be a success and JimmySea gets the recognition they deserve.

5. Dangerous Romance

Perth and Chimon are playing leading roles in this series, so you can be assured that I am EXCITED. Firstly, I have been watching Never Let Me Go, and both of them are a side couple/roles, but they play their parts well. Specially seeing Perth on the screen after so many years has been refreshing. Dangerous romance is a story about Sailom (played by Chimon) who is a poor but studious student who starts tutoring Kanghan (Perth) who is a school bully. The series also has Pawin and Marc playing side characters.

6. Only Friends

Three friends Mew (played by Book), Ray (played by Khaotung) and Boston (played by Neo), run a hostel together. Does that sound good to you so far? Remember this info because it gets messy. Mew has no interest in sex or relationship because he has been focusing on his studies. However, Boston introduces Mew to Top (played by Force) so that Mew can experience a one-night stand. However, Mew and Top get more serious, leaving Boston unhappy. Ray is a rich lad who is also a fuckboi. He meets Saen (played by First), and they probably hook up/see each other a few times. Eventually, Saen wants to start an exclusive relationship with Ray. However, Ray has feelings for Mew and isn't keen on getting exclusive. Nick (played by Mark) finds a sex tape in Boston's phone, and they start a friend-with-benefits relationship things take a terrible turn when he starts falling for Boston, but Boston won't return his feelings. Firstly, one of my favourite directors - P'Jojo Tichakorn Phukhatong, is directing this masterpiece with P'Ninew Pinua Chookamsri (he has been an acting coach for many GMMTV projects). I trust P'Jojo would be an understatement. I worship him. I genuinely believe both directors can make this series into something we will absolutely enjoy. Honestly, this is the series I am looking forward to the most. Most of my queer friends, including me, have experienced similar relationship dynamics. Seeing these actors play a more serious and realistic role will be fantastic. Lastly, I look forward to seeing First and Khaotung again in a leading role. Also curious to see bad boi Neo and Force! :D

7. Cherry Magic (Thai Version)

Tay and New are back. Honestly, I never thought I'd be repeating this sentence ever again. If anyone has been following BL for a long time, they know what went down and how bad things had become at a point, but I had faith that one day...one day, we would get to see TayNew again, and now we get to see them in leading roles. Tay will play Karan (yes, they've changed the Japanese names to be close to Thai ideals), and New will play Achi. We also have Sing and Jan as a side couple, Mark (a different one than the one in only friends), and Junior. We don't know much about the storyline yet (not sure if they are changing it much or keeping it original) since this trailer wasn't released due to some licensing issue. However, I will update my thoughts on this once the trailer is released. Welcome back, TAYNEW! Sending you lots of love, Tay. He is an excellent actor and will ace this role. Tay is a ball of sunshine, and I fully believe in him. I know people have been sceptical because it is a remake but hear me out - remakes do take place, and we can't expect both series to be the same. An office setting in Thailand would be different from one in Japan. Let's just have some faith that we see ACE representation in this series. As someone asexual, I hope the side couple has an ace rep, just like in the Japanese version (although the Japanese version didn't have a side couple).

8. Hidden Agenda

Zo (played by Dunk), a university student, wants to date someone (for the first time in his life), and he settles for Nita (a trendy girl - played by Jamie). He asks Nita's ex, Joke (Joong), for advice. We have seen this or a similar trope many times, and it has always been successful. Look at BrightWin's 2gether. I am sure this series will be a hit. Honestly, it doesn't excite me as much as other series because it doesn't feel original. However, I trust the actors (JoongDunk), and the director, P'Tee, has directed TharnType and LovelyWriter, so I am hoping this one will turn out to be insanely good and convince me to watch it.

9. Our Skyy 2

We will get to see after stories of the following:

A Tale of Thousand Stars (EarthMix) Bad Buddy (OhmNanon) Vice Versa (JimmySea) The Eclipse (FirstKhaotung) My School President (GeminiFourth) Star and Sky: Star in My Mind (JoongDunk) Never Let Me Go (PondPhuwin) A Boss and A Babe (ForceBook)

I am excited to see them all, especially EarthMix and OhmNanon since they don't get a complete BL series this year. I am curious to see how they play out the story of The Eclipse and Bad Buddy because they felt like a complete ending to me.

Lastly, I hope there is no cheating, breakup and such sadness involved because I am not sure if I will be able to handle it. I just want full sugary content - give me diabetes.

Lastly, some of the series are yet to air (as of 4th Jan 2023), so I assume this will air in the latter half of the year. Many directors are coming together to work on this, so I am excited to see what happens :)

Which BLs are you looking forward to?

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squishyteri · 3 months

Text

DFF theory time!

So, I've been thinking a little bit and I want to dump my thoughts about DFF so far (after ep 6).

Generally, I think that Tee and Top definitely did something. Those two were acting the most suspicious when it comes to the whole thing about Non. They were also the most frightened. And they were the ones bullying Non the most (along with Por).

We didn't see much about Por, but I think he was involved too (from what he was trying to say before dying). But it's hard to tell, because we didn't really see his reaction to any events (expect him getting frightened of the masked man so much he ran into a branch ... I'm sorry, I still think it's funny that he basically ended himself, like even the killer must have been like "wow, he made it wayyy to easy for me wtf") but he was very scared about watching the tape, so I assume he did something directly, just as Tee and Top.

Fluke was involved, but not directly. Fluke seems way calmer than Tee and Top. The reason why he's acting like he is, is because he is worried about his future as a doctor. I'm pretty sure he knows exactly what had happened, but kept his mouth shut to keep himself out of the trouble.

Plus from the flashback eps so far, Fluke wasn't directly bullying Non, he wasn't stopping the others and was definitely on their side, but he himself didn't really do anything to Non. That makes me think, he just cares about himself at the end of the day and as long as he is not affected, he doesn't care.

Jin is big question mark right now. It's clear he liked Non and never did anything bad to him. I believe he knows what others did, maybe wasn't directly involved, but knows something.

Either that, or I was thinking he perhaps doesn't know that much. He was acting calmly most of the time, wasn't scared that much.

So I'm thinking:

A) he's directly involved in the killing

B) he's not involved but knows he's safe for some reason

C) he doesn't really know what exactly happened to Non and has no reason to be scared

I really wonder. And I really wonder what his connection to Phee really is.

That gets me to Phee himself. He was Non's lover. So he has a huge motive to get his revenge. But again big question mark.

I also think it's possible that Phee is not involved, but only joined the group to find out what happened to Non. That's why he was asking a lot of questions and wanted to see the tape/video.

It's also possible that Phee is involved somehow.

We probably learn this in the next ep, but I wonder if Jin and Phee knew each other before the Non disappearence. There are some hints that either one or the other is involved, but not both (they were alone for quite some time, never talked about anything sus, which they probably would since it would be ideal time to plan something more).

I think they might have met before Non disappeared, found comfort in each other, most likely really fell for each other (Jin was the one who wanted to get their thing further, Phee said no originally, but during the coffin scene, the way he was looking at Jin, I think there are some feelings, plus the way he told Jinn "I will protect you" like don't tell me he doesn't like him at leat a little bit) and Jin might have helped Phee get into the group. Here it would made sense that Jin wouldn't know what exactly happened and he would get Phee in to help him find out the truth.

And if one is involved with the killing, the other just doesn't know.

They both could be calm just for the reason they know they didn't do anything to Non.

For remaining two characters, White and Tan.

White doesn't seem sus from what we seen, however in one of the trailers, he was wearing the same uniform as Phee in the flashback, so probably him and Phee knew each other prior to joining the friend group? But so far White wasn't really doing anything sus, so it's really a wild guess right now. I just want to see how had he ended up with Tee, if it wasn't his secret plan, because how would such a sweet guy fell for arsehole like Tee?

Only thing that's kind of big question mark is the fact that White was affected by the ghost thing too. Like really strongly. So one wonders what his involvement really is. (Tan and Phee weren't affected, which makes sense as they are not involved at all and did not harm Non).

Tan is a mystery. We haven't learned much about him yet. I wonder if there will be some great reveal about him. He's the most likely candidate to actually be New, Non's brother, but honestly, he didn't do anything sus to make me believe he's involved. Except a little itch during Top's disapperance but I'll talk about that a little later.

Now I want to talk about something I probably haven't seen anyone talk about.

The posibility that none of the boys is involved directly. I'm not saying they couldn't know what's going on, but none of them being the killer.

How I got to it? Simply, that one of them is behind it was my first thought when Por got hurt and someone had to be there when he got injured (we got confirmed that someone cut his arms and then brought the knife inside, plus he clearly saw the masked man). First thing, that can tell who could have done it, is who is missing an alibi. So where was everyone when Por got hurt?

Tee and White were together doing couple stuff.

Phee and Jin were together doing fwb stuff.

Top, Fluke and Tan were together in the living room waiting for Por to get others (they said they sent him to bring other boys to the living room).

See? All of them have alibi for that time. And if one of them was alone, they would clearly questioned it. (since they were looking for Por and wondered if anyone saw him).

For Top's disappearance, all of them were in the house, only Tan was with Top. That obviously means that Tan could do something to Top. But they still definitely saw the masked man before Top crashed the bike. Yes, Tan could've moved Top, drug him (I prefer the explanation that he was drugged, rather than being possessed as some people are suggesting) and then pretend he disappeared when he was unconscious, but he couldn't have appeared as the masked man and definitely couldn't have ensured that Top will crash the bike at such a convenient spot, close to the shrine (or whatever that builidng is).

So that makes me think that the killer is some ninth person (which is literally the premise of the show) with possibilty of Jin or Phee knowing what's going on (especially since the killer had the opportunity to get them in the coffin, but just left them be). The ninth person could be New (Non's brother) or maybe Keng (the teacher, he's defo acting sus and I wouldn't be surprised if he was behind something sketchy as well) or even someone else they just asked for help (I wouldn't be surprised, they are not afraid of plottwists in this drama, hell I wouldn't be shocked if Non is actually alive and it would be him all the time).

What is clear is that it has to be someone familiar with the script Non wrote (masked man, similarity of attacks, connection to the cult) and someone who knows that Por, Top, Tee and Fluke did something to Non, while also knowing that Phee, Jin, Tan and White (possibly?) are not involved.

And by the way, them seeing the ghost and seemingly supernatural stuff could be just case of something called "mass hysteria". Basically group of people being scared/affected by something they all believe it's true to the point of having the same hallucinations/visions.

I'm sorry for making this long and blabbering this much. I don't even think anything of this might be true 😅

(I will probably update this after each episode from now on, because why not actually).

Thank you for reading this, if by any chance you got all the way here.

Have a lovely day!

#dead friend forever #dff #dff the series #dff spoilers #thai drama #thai bl

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banannabethchase · 11 months

Note

hangkenny & the song 'i hate myself for loving you'

Over Again - Also on AO3

Kenny and Adam have torn each other apart dozens upon dozens of times. The question now is whether it's worth the work to put each other back together.

Title from Over Again by One Direction. Don't. Don't say it. Let me be a dork. Here have some angst. I hope this is the direction you're looking for!

Adam feels tears gathering in the corners of his eyes as he collides with Kenny, lips crashing together with less romance and more desperation.

“We shouldn’t do this,” Kenny says, as Adam works his lips across Kenny’s jaw. “Fuck, Adam, I – ”

“What?” Adam asks. The tears are welling in a way he can’t deny now, something more powerful trying to get out of him than can be said through words alone. “Are you gonna act like I’m the only one who wants this?”

“No!” Kenny yells back at him. “I just – I don’t want to want this.”

Adam falls back like he was hit. “What?”

“You think I don’t hate myself for loving you?” Kenny’s eyes are teary too. “Jesus, Adam, all we’ve done is destroy each other, ever since we won the stupid fucking titles. And now – now there’s no excuse to keep tearing ourselves apart, is there?” He rubs a fist across his eyes, but all it does is smear the tears across his face, make it more obvious. It somehow hurts Adam more. “We should – we should end this, now. Before we kill each other.”

Adam thought leaving him for dead in the ring was a fluke, an emotional reaction. Thought it was Kenny’s anger at losing superseding his love for Adam, that it was a one time thing.

“You really did mean to leave me, didn’t you,” Adam almost whispers.

“Yeah,” Kenny says. He won’t meet Adam’s eyes. “I did.”

Adam leans down as the victory settles over him, as he hears his name announced as the new champion, hand on Kenny’s chest.

“I didn’t ever leave you,” he whispers to Kenny, head dipped so his hair hides his words from the world.

He doesn’t allow Kenny the chance to say anything back, just lets him leave the ring. He celebrates, bittersweet.

Adam isn’t going to cry, exactly, but he could throw up. The loss is his fault, he knows, but it would hurt less if it was against anyone else. John won’t look him in the eye, Matt seems to have lost any of the amiability he’d cautioned earlier in the summer, and Nick’s gestures feel empty now that his waist is bare.

He resists the urge to rub at the bruise Kenny left on him, though it would hurt less than the mark Kenny left on his soul.

They stand in the ring together. The four of them. For the first time in years.

And Adam can’t meet Kenny’s eyes, just in case what he wants to see is missing. He can’t do that to himself. Not again.

The broom feels a bit like forgiveness in the face of death, as Kenny passes it to Adam in front of the BCC. They haven’t been this close without trying to kill each other much in years, and Adam would be lying if he said he didn’t half expect Kenny to hit him with the broom.

He announces they are the Elite. Kenny doesn’t correct him. And Adam’s a little less anxious.

“I did some terrible shit,” Kenny says, and Adam can barely believe his ears. “Back in the day. And I don’t know if you can ever forgive me. If we could ever go back to the way things use to be. The singing, and all that goofy stuff we just did. It’s fun, but I just…” Adam hears the ache in the silence. “I don’t know if you’ll ever be able to fully forgive me. And I’m sorry.”

This feels like the wrong moment to hesitate, like if he doesn’t say something right now Kenny will take it all back. “Yeah, um,” Adam says, “me too. You know, maybe. I don’t know, maybe we won’t get back to – this,” because he can’t say what they were to each other, not when this is all so fragile. “Maybe we won’t. Maybe it’s too late. Um.”

“I um –”

Adam speaks before he can stop himself. “But maybe we can.”

“If it’s any consolation, it’s something I’m willing to work on.”

Adam fights the smile, the hope that wells in his heart. “Me, too.”

“It’s, uh.”

“Me too.” Adam winces, wishing he hadn’t interrupted.

Kenny has what might be considered a smile in his eyes. “It’s what friends, do, right?”

Adam pretends that doesn’t feel like a knife just dug through his chest, the word friends. They never were truly friends. But, if that’s all Kenny’s able to give him anymore, it’ll be worth it.

Adam speaks before he can stop himself. “For me and Kenny it was always different. I don’t know if we were ever really friends.” He won’t let himself mess this up. “Certainly not best friends. But, after everything we’ve been through, I think I’ve come to realize that we’ve always been something more than that.” He pauses for the shortest of moments, hoping Kenny hears his meaning, hears what he’s really saying with those words. “Something more important. And that’s family.”

He glances at the camera, and wonders if Kenny is watching.

Adam is wondering if somebody redefined “friends” when he wasn’t paying attention, because Kenny’s got him shoved up against a line of lockers and is kissing him like the world might end if he stops.

“Hey,” Adam says, breath catching in his chest, “Kenny, hold on.”

Kenny pulls back, hands gripping Adam’s biceps almost hard enough to hurt. “What?”

“I – you want this?” Adam asks. He wants to pretend he doesn’t feel bewildered, baffled. But he does. “Me, I mean?”

“What?” Kenny asks. He stares at Adam, blue eyes searching. “Are you seriously asking me that right now?”

“Um,” Adam mumbles. “Yes?”

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Kenny says, but he’s laughing as he shakes his head. “Of course I want you. I always have.”

Adam can’t meet his eyes. “I think always is a stretch.”

“It’s not,” Kenny says, voice going soft and sweet, the way Adam’s always melted for. “Even back then, the two of us, that’s what I really wanted.” He rests his forehead against Adam’s, inhaling deeply. “I think I knew I would hold you back.”

“You wouldn’t –”

“I would have.” Kenny stares him down. “Adam, I’m – I’m not a kind person, not really. Not always.” He runs a hand through his hair. “I wouldn’t have let you go for the belt, Adam. I would have been selfish about it. I would have – I would have sabotaged it all more.” Adam’s fighting to hold Kenny’s gaze. It’s not easy. But it feels important. “We needed to figure out who we were without each other. Otherwise we never would have grown.”

“You can’t know that,” Adam mutters. He doesn’t feel safe enough to hope.

“Doesn’t matter now, does it?” Kenny asks. He reaches out and catches Adam’s fingers in his, gentle. “All that matters is if you want to try again.”

Adam thinks of all the reasons on either side of it. They have the ability to destroy each other again, but they survived last time. They could pull the Elite apart at the seams, but they survived that last time, too.

He realizes there isn’t any damage left for them to do that they haven’t already done. Not to each other. Not to their friends. Not to themselves.

Adam steps into Kenny’s face and kisses him, letting the familiarity crash over him. Kenny’s arms pull him close. They still feel like home.

“Okay,” Adam murmurs against Kenny’s lips, the taste of tears and hope on his tongue. “Again.”

Mini Playlist: I Hate Myself for Loving You - Halestorm Dearly Departed - Marianas Trench Who You Are Without Me - Kate Voegele Over Again - One Direction

#OmegaPage #HangKenny #HangMega #anxious millennial dreamboat #sorry kenny you don't have a tag #I would apologize for the angst but. I don't want to #in which Sara writes #wtf i like wrestling now???

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justaredheadf1fan · 1 year

Text

The joke of Jeddah

Heyoooh!

It's (finally) time for the good stuff, I hope at least.

I wanted to comment on this, since I didn't do it on the previous post. I obviously read about Angela's departure yesterday. I know she's pursuing something else and that she's happy with her choice but it honestly makes me sad that she's left Lewis' side. Wasn't it enough losing Seb, Mick and Daniel? Not Angela too 😭

Quali - Saturday

Now onto praying for no crashes (bad ones at least). At the moment the only thing worth mentioning is Sargeant's time being erased in a turn where there's no space to go off actually, but what do you expect nowadays. He then almost crashed and barely made it out untouched. Lucky guy.

Other than that, more or less going through to Q2 the ones that always do. Drama starts now, here's hoping.

Sid the Sloth having engine issues is giving me back my will to live, but WHY IS THIS NOT HAPPENING ON THE RACE!? If this isn't fixed on time he might start tomorrow close to Sharl, and that might give Sharl an opening to crush him. Hopefully. YES, HE'S OUT!!!!!

Finally, Q3 time and now the reality check might hit me in the face. Let's see.

Looking pretty solid for Ferrari and Aston Martin, Lance putting a hell of a lap right there. Seriously, he has me on a chokehold this boy. Even Pedro de la Rosa was defending him, saying to the others "Hey hey hey, we do NOT talk shit about Lance in this house". Obviously, I'm... paraphrasing. At best 🤣 Sorry, I'm a fangirl.

Sharl getting a very good P2 but unfortunately my baby boy is getting a penalty tomorrow, so we're starting off the season really well. I know Vasseur's pulling at the hairs he no longer has at the moment. Someone help that man and Sharl 🥲

George is right there in the fight which is a good sign for sure. Lewis on the other hand is starting P8. I know there's hope, I know he can achieve anything (last year proved it), but it sucks seeing him go through this. AGAIN. Why Mercedes? WHY?

It's nice to see, or not see better said, that a certain someone isn't there. I know this is a cosmic fluke and it won't ever happen again knowing RBR, but a girl can dream. Sid the Sloth will probably overtake everyone until he gets to Checo and RBR throw team orders at him and let's him pass.

I just hope I'm wrong.

Race - Sunday

It's race day and here we go with the anxiety rocketing right before the start. Although that anthem was the light of my day. Can we talk about how BAD that sounded!? My goodness, what was that?

Anyway, so now I'm here waiting for the Top 6 so crash in into each other. I mean, that Top 6 is absolute CHAOS. In George, Esteban and Lance we trust. I saw this post that Marina sent me a couple hours ago and I'm still laughing.

Okay, so this started off well for Alonso and the rest, Alonso getting ahead but just a few seconds later there was a flash of news saying he started on the incorrect position. This is fucking insane already.

5-second penalty for Fernando, same as Esteban in Bahrain. That was quick. I do have to mention Lance's balls eating Carlos up. I'm such a fan of this dude, seriously.

The McLaren duo are having a blast, I see. Oh Karma, how good is it seeing you again this week.

Sharl is going full force after Pierre and Lewis, eats up Pierre very easily and almost gets Lewis right then and there and thank goodness for that turn, otherwise he might've done it. But there we go, penalty coming for Lewis. Or well, they gave him a warning, which is surprising since the FIA loves, LOVES giving Lewis shit for anything.

Sharl ends up passing him easily too, which I expected already. And Sid the Sloth is right there catching up quickly to everyone as expected too. I don't think it'll be long before he catches Sharl. Unless... Sharl plays it the way he knows how. I'M COUNTING ON YOU, SHARL.

I'm hoping Lance eats Carlos up. Honestly, I'm hoping he just embarrases him at this point. Ah shit, Sharl gets out just in front of him, but I hope he just passes Carlos and then Lance can do his thing.

NO NO NO NO NO FUCKING HELL. LANCE ASKED TO STOP ON TRACK. FOR FUCK'S SAKE. SAFETY CAR. AND LEWIS JUST PASSED THE PIT ENTRANCE, SHIIIIIIIT.

Fernando stops serving his penalty and off he goes. George stops too and Alonso still goes out ahead of him. Crap. And the Ferraris had already stopped no they're fucked. At least Lewis can stop now. Let's see what this does.

The medium tyres are working perfectly for Lewis, that was beautiful! Mercedes sandwich for the Sloth. LET'S GO BOYS.

I mean, I would pass George like that too if I had an illegal car. That's not normal, seriously. I mean, and they still complained about an economic penalty, but are you fucking serious?

So Alonso was useless against Sid. That's disappointing. Lewis right there behind George. And Albon in the mean time is losing the brakes and has to move to the pits to retire.

I'm reading that George has disobeyed team orders. I really hope this isn't true because otherwise, despite how much I love him, as soon as I step into Montmeló this year I'm gonna fucking deck him. I'm sorry but if this is true, nope. Lewis should just start playing a Sebastian Vettel card and do him like Seb did Mark back in the day. Seriously.

Can both RedBulls please crash into each other? Nothing serious, just enough to fuck off. Of course they couldn't. I mean, I've just watched the end of the race like looking blankly at a wall.

It's now been a while since the end of the race, I needed to cool off a bit first. Basically, because I've confirmed that the Mercedes team orders were for real and George ignored them completely, and also that Mercedes didn't inform Lewis about shit. So, yes, I'm fucking pissed.

Alonso getting the 10-second penalty (which in itself I think is pretty correct) after the podium ceremony is beyond stupid. Not that I'm going to support Alonso or anything but there was a 30-lap gap between his pit stop and the ceremony, they had more than enough time to let him know about the new penalty. The FIA is very keen on just doing things in a certain way that's pretty much on-the-go instead of being efficient about it. Unbelievable.

It's not fair that George gets the podium. It's not. He's been rewarded with it after disobeying team orders and knowingly hurting Lewis. I'm just hoping Lewis stops being the better person and enters his 2016 era (or even 2007) again. I'm sorry George, I like you, but this is truly unacceptable. And Mercedes, WTF? He's given you 8 Constructor's titles, are you out of your fucking minds? They all should know better by now. Really hope he stops giving a shit.

Anyway, I hope Australia looks better than the past 2 races. Because this is the biggest shitshow.

Peace out.

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