[Image Description: an 11-panel comic page on paper in which Laurice Deauxnim/Larry Butz and Maya Fey from Ace Attorney sit side-by-side. Laurice has tight posture and an uncomfortable look on his face, while Maya is looking around in an uninterested manner; a large textbox labeled "Waiting for Nick" points at the two of them. Laurice looks over at Maya with a sidelong glance, grimacing. Laurice turns away, asking: "...Do you hate me?" Maya bursts out: "WHAT? Why would I hate you?!" ["What" is in all caps to indicate volume.] Laurice flinches away from the outburst. Laurice begins to explain, saying: "Elise", but cutting himself off and shaking his head, starting again with a downcast expression: "Your mom was my mentor." ["Your mom" is underlined to indicate emphasis.] Maya leans forward on her hands and tilts her head in confusion. Laurice continues, waving his hand in the air: "Like, she taught me how to be a better person, to— to grow up, y'know?" Laurice looks back at Maya, his palm toward her, with tears in his eyes, and says: "But you... She was your mom, and you never got that." ["mom" is underlined to indicate emphasis.] Maya looks at Laurice with concern, as he says: "I wouldn't blame you, if you hated me." End Image Description]
I think they should be allowed a Real Conversation, actually
(And some close-ups, bc I forgot just how energy-intensive making a comic page is, and I ended up working really hard on this messy, self-indulgent little comic)
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(transcript by @violentandmagnificent)
It’s quiet here, living in your head.
It’s quiet here, and when I talk, you listen,
at least when you can hear me, which isn’t always.
It isn’t always, but it’s better than never.
It’s quiet here, living on this ship.
It’s quiet here, and I remember when it was loud,
I remember different voices bouncing in these halls,
I remember old arguments,
I remember myself.
I wonder how much I can tell you; because
I can tell you; I have much to say.
But you never saw me astride the Prophet’s Path,
beside the Resin Heart, imparting wrath and play.
So who am I?
You only know what they’ve told you.
So who am I?
You only know what’s written down.
So who am I?
You only know what’s on recordings,
and according to the world, I’m a hypocrite, or drowned.
I doubt you can hear me, but I know that she can.
So pardon my frustration, I’m just tired of her plan.
I lost my life long before I understood,
before metaphor became real, before I felt the wheel’s wood.
I wonder what she’ll tell you.
I wonder what she’ll share.
I wonder what she’ll ask of you, what task of sweat and prayer.
I long to sweat and pray, a body in the day.
The color of the sun.
The touch, the ocean's spray.
The last thing that I felt in life.
(The first thing that I felt in life.)
The touch, the ocean's spray.
I hope she tells the truth to you.
(I hope she tells the worst to you.)
The touch, the ocean's spray.
I loved her like she told me to.
(I left her like she told me to.)
The touch, the ocean's spray.
We’re running out of time, you know?
(She’s running out of time, you know?)
The touch, the ocean's spray.
I fear we might be mirrored, two echoes of a call
shouted between two queens, two queens who want it all.
I fear we might be symmetry, I fear we might be one.
Make her tell the truth to you
before we come undone.
PALISADE 37: Reach In / Reach Out Pt. 1
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hi i just discovered your beautiful art so i obviously needed to scroll down your whole blog to catch up on everything you posted haha
i just wanted to say that i got way too emotional after reading that post of yours regarding mw3 and your mental health… on one hand i’m so sorry that you felt that way, but on the other i feel it with my whole heart
ghoap content especially for me helped me these past few months with my mental health in ways i would never have expected, it was my solace and inspiration, i started working out too and got back into drawing, got a lot better at it as well!
but unfortunately i get way too fixated on fictional stuff and there comes a time that my brain switches up and connects the things i liked and comforted me with things that make me extremely uncomfortable and stressed out, especially if i fall down a fandom rabbit hole that i would never have searched up, beacuse i know myself, i know my limits and triggers but i feel like i’m not a part of the fandom if i don’t like and interact with every single headcanon, art and ship
these past days i was really down because of that, and the things i read (why did i do that???) and now when i think of ghoap i think of that stuff and im scared that i alienated myself from the one thing that made me happy
but discovering your art and with that your post reminded me that im not alone in these feelings, even if it’s not the same exactly, and i wanted to thank you, for sharing your thoughts that time i guess haha <33
((sorry for rambling))
Long reply under 'keep reading' !! CW: talk of triggers and MCD
Always feel free to ramble my way!!! How nice you could find some comfort in my art and ghoap stuff. Especially in my mw3 post. I've been considering deleting it a few times, but hearing it maybe helped to read in some way makes me happy I left it up.
I get where you're coming from - I very much use these fictional characters as a safe space, but ppl view them very differently. There's room for it all, "don't like, don't interact" is very much a policy I agree with. It's important to mute words and be aware of your own triggers as you browse stuff in this fandom, because there's such a wide variety of stuff out there. You do NOT have to interact and agree with every thought people have on this ship, that's impossible and super stressful. There's plenty of stuff and headcanons I don't vibe with. There are no 'requirements' that you have to meet in order to enjoy fiction.
It's part of why I enjoy ghoap - that their dynamic resonates and has sparked so much creativity and outlets for so many - but it also means there's gonna be a lot of stuff u don't necessarily agree with or feel comfortable with. For example, a lot of folks use the MCD in mw3 as a way to explore grief, which I think is really cool, but on a bad day that could potentially get my brain in a bad headspace, so I only check out that art and those fics when I feel okay. There's also a bunch of stuff I'd never want to interact with, and that’s fine !!
I'm personally quite vanilla and a sucker for exploring the softer, more domestic aspects of these characters. It's what brings me joy. I know there are parts of this fandom who don’t vibe with what I make at all, and would call it untrue to the characters. Some creators enjoy exploring the more violent or toxic sides to the source material. That's just how it is, we all need different things from fiction. As long as we're capable of chilling in our respective sandboxes, then all's good.
But if you're like me, and enjoy the softer things, then definitely be aware and careful while exploring this ship and fandom. I've seen takes on these characters that are so far removed from how I view them, that they're basically the complete opposite, and it can leave a very bad taste, especially if you're the type to hinge your safe space on fiction.
Just... be mindful of yourself and your potential triggers, be respectful and don't interact with things that make you uncomfortable to the point of feeling unsafe. Shape your own online experience to your best ability.
Hope you're doing okay and still find joy in ghoap <3
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Hi! I was wondering if you’ve ever heard of ‘nutrition response testing’ (also called ‘applied kinesiology’ and ‘contact reflex analysis’)? I had it done a few days ago by a holistic health care practice and they recommended several (expensive) supplements for various health issues. I didn’t know that was what was going to happen going in, my mom got a recommendation for their practice and convinced me to try it. I was originally going to go along with it, since they really sounded like they knew what they were talking about, and made me feel very heard and respected, but now I’m not so sure. They made a pretty big oversight regarding me being allergic to one of the recommended supplements, which lead to me doing a ton of research on everything they were doing. It was pretty inconclusive. Some sites said it’s complete pseudoscience and doesn’t work at all, but I’ve also seen a lot of people claim it helped them with decades long health issues. I just really don’t know what to make of this, or where to go to figure it out, so I figured I’d ask you.
I also know several people who found relief from symptoms from seeing kinesiologists.
I respect their experiences and am glad they found help, but as someone who worked the holistic circuit for many years and still uses some holistic treatments in my own health journey, I am going to urge an abundance of caution going forward.
In holistic circles, there's a tendency to throw supplements at you to see what sticks. If you feel better, great! You possibly had a deficiency you were either unaware of or were just on the cusp of borderline so it wasn't flagged up in regular testing.
If you don't, there's a tendency to tell you to keep taking them because "these things take time," and also have you tried {x other product they also just so happen to sell in their clinic.}
And people do it, usually because the supplements cost less than going to see the actual doctor, or their doctor doesn't make them feel heard and this nice person is offering them a solution while sounding very confident about it.
One of the major draws of holistic medicine for a lot of people is that it lets sick people feel heard. We take time with people to make them feel valid and cared for because that is also an important part of the healing process. But again, speaking as someone with multiple holistic qualifications and who still uses some of them, holistic care is not a substitute for conventional medicine. It can be a good addition, but it should not be your only method of treatment.
Now, not all of these items are useless and not all people who sell supplements and other such things in their clinic are suspicious.
It's just that there's very little regulation on who can sell these kind of things (as well as very little regulation of the supplements themselves), and you need to be careful about who you trust and be aware of how they are being promoted to you.
(One way to do this is look up the brand of supplements being sold and seeing who their parent company is. Chiropractors, for instance, are notorious for buying supplements from companies that operate like MLMs, giving them incentive to shill them to all their patients whether they need them or not.)
It's true, some holistic types are very good at spotting deficiencies in how the body looks and responds to certain things. Especially if they have legitimate medical training to back up their practice. But that is also true of any conventional doctor who pays attention.
I walked in to see my PCP not too long ago and he was able to diagnose a zinc deficiency due to the symptoms I was describing and a subtle change he noticed in my nails.
Hell, my dentist was the one who figured out my mouth ulcers and the muscle tic in my jaw might be a b12 deficiency and urged me to see the doctor who ultimately saved my life.
In those instances, supplementation was necessary because I have chronic underlying conditions that prevent me from absorbing nutrients from my food.
Unlike any kinesiologist I've known, however, both instances were followed up with diagnostic blood work to check the accuracy of those suspected deficiencies, both to ensure it was correct but also ensure appropriate supplemental dosing.
I can't tell you the number of times someone has suggested I take "shit-yourself" levels of magnesium because someone who also shills essential oils on the side told them to. No thank you.
You didn't mention if the person you saw wanted to do diagnostic blood testing before offering you supplements, but if they didn't, that's a red flag for me. The fact that they missed an allergy you presumably told them about is another (just as it would be for a regular doctor).
So, should you listen to them? That's up to you. I personally prefer to see doctors who take a more holistic approach to the body, but I also know enough to combine it with conventional medicine and when testing is needed. I have that experience and know-how. Not everyone does, and it can be very easy to trust the nice person telling you to Buy Their Shiny Tonic To Cure Thine Ailments.
Maybe it'll help, maybe it won't. But it sounds like your gut is giving you a warning sign. I'd be inclined not to ignore it.
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