#I HAVENT DONE ART FOR [ME] IN A REALLY LONG TIME which is why ive been working up to posting this AHBDFKU | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

azumasoroshi · 1 year

Text

minidura chapter 4 react

simon i SWEAR ill get you out of there and that horrendous art style

also though. TEENAGE SHIZAYA CHAPTER LETS GO???? idk if narita made the minidura or if it's a separate illustrator but they are giving the FOOD rn

i was wondering where the official knowledge that simon forced izaya and shizuo to eat sushi together came from. i mean i guess this isnt official and it was probably stated in the anime somewhere but still, good to see it illustrated pff

AAAAAAAAA ive seen this image around tumblr but i didnt realize it was from minidura 😭 i thought it was fanart or smth (<-dumbass)

wait im actually going crazy over this akwjhkjdshs they're washing dishes together!!! now we just need them to do laundry and taxes and-

im going to go over the image limit this time on god

wow cant believe they're bathing each other too (<-delusional)

something about the first shizuo panel reminds me of aggretsuko. which is. actually. huh. arent they both like adults with anger issues. durarara aggretsuko au when

also deadass i forgot dennis existed until i read about him in a shizaya fanfiction and i was like "who's dennis" pfgfkhkd

so true though never throw kitchen knives kids

LMFAO HE JUST GAVE THEM MORE WORK INSTEAD OF RESPONDING

they're gonna be here all day at this rate. actually shizaya as fast food/restaurant staff au when because they'd have the stupidest rivalry known to man and i need it

fucking imagine shinra walks in and sees shizuo and izaya working by the counter

i hope izaya gets to eat fatty tuna by the end of this though. god knows he's gonna look cute as hell

made funnier by the fact that izaya at least definitely knows how to cook with how long he's been on his own and needed to feed his sisters

damn ive actually never seen someone's vein burst in a way where blood sprays out in anime akshGKJHJKSD thats impressive actually

dont look now but this may or may not inspire me to make a mermaid/pirate au (<-obsessed)

who needs kaiju battles when you can have blue fin tuna vs crab

they're literally never leaving this place bro they're gonna be stuck here for eternity. anyway here's a literary analysis of durarara pointing out why russia sushi is actually representative of dante's inferno /j

i want to read those blurbs so baddddd screams sobs bangs table

rip dennis dude he doesnt get paid enough to deal with shizaya

rippp time to listen to izaya pine hopelessly for the man he cant stop annoying for five seconds

simon had the right idea. too bad shizaya are shizaya

what is that face izaya. i cant tell if he's irritated that simon's right or irritated that simon cant understand how instinctual their hatred is or amused that simon thinks he and shizuo could be friends or amused because he thinks meaningless fighting is hilarious

oh......that kind of hurts actually

i can imagine izaya suggesting it as a joke and then lying in bed that night thinking about how it's never going to happen and it really sounds like a funny joke huh? (he is not crying)

i cant believe simon's been dealing with these bitches for like 7 years now like dude has the patience of a saint

😭give him his 50,000 yen simon

we can see that the crack in the sign is actually fixed now too ahhh time really flies when you're stuck in a relationship of mutual hatred

chibizaya is so cuteeeeeeeee

im sure he intended to paint himself that way in his recollection though pff

THATS RIGHT SHIZAYA BE THE PORCUPINES. SNUGGLE. DO IT

step aside erika, simon is the face of the shizaya nation now. especially with that "you just have a shizuo complex dont you" quote that i found the other day which i still havent recovered from

HAUDGHUSDH orihara izaya, pro unreliable narrator

hilarious how we never see tom's face. just his dreads lmfao

dennis and simon are so done with like izaya bro i think they can tell at this point that he's horrifically pining and has no healthy outlet for it. the bills go to him because they're bullying him

it'd be funny if they billed him 50,000 at the end actually pft

I KNEW WE'D GET THEM EATING TOGETHER!!! I HAD FAITH

they're so cute oh my god can i make that my header or something

10/10 chapter im going to punt izaya into a wall and get simon flowers

#shizaya #izaya orihara #shizuo heiwajima #simon brezhnev #i dont think dennis has a tag pff #durarara #long post

151 notes · View notes

i-am-an-arson-enthusiast · 10 months

Text

Here at i-am-an-arson-enthusiast, we i am dedicated to bringing you top quality content such as but not limited to: gay things, cats, and even live arson that you don't even have to tune into!!

hi this is my intro post :D

basic questions that i love answering

“hey what should i call you” good question. i dont really care, most of my mutuals call me arson. thats cool. bc i love arson. (clearly) but you can call me really whatever. planet names are dope as shit, but only @marcysbear gets to call me neptune. also enthu is off limits, only @terrifying-acceptance gets to call me that.

for the record: if you call me either of those names and are not either of them, that is crossing a genuine boundary of mine. you ARE NOT allowed to call me those names if you are not the designated person for that.

“ur gay” woah really i didnt know that ur like the first person ever to notice that!! (no ur not, ive known that for years)

“what type of gay” yes. the easiest way to explain it is bisexual. that being said: i use bisexual surprizingly little. i call myself lesbian and gay all the time (as in wlw and mlm). i’m arospec, i think im grayromantic? idk. but fun fact: it’s been over TWO months now of this identity crisis; my personal record :) also im polyamorous and will joke abt kissing u if ur cool with it :3

“gender????” im genderfluid. which explains the pronoun changes. im also trans, nb, genderqueer, and any of the genders and terms i need to articulate what the silly lil dudes in my head make me feel.

AUDHD :D explains why i am obsessed with space (going back to names planet names are cool and epic btw)

“do u horny post on main???” i reblog horny posts to my main but i dont normally do the original horny posting. tell me if i need to tw that btw :3

my cool and epic tags

i try to consistanly use them but sometimes i dont. sorry.

woah i’m using queue - i’m actually queuing a post for once instead of spam reblogging (which i mostly do sorry not sorry)

woah a real text post - me positing an actual text post for once but it’s becoming more common

cool ass art - art that i reblog (it’s all cool)

arson does half way decent art sometimes - my art. art i made. yea

the beloved - my beautiful beautiful queer platonic partner @terrifying-acceptance who i tag in a lot of shit :]

i will keep adding more as i remember them and make them so yea :D also i try to tag for things but i often dont add tw or cw because. idk. just havent ever done that. if you need me too you can tell me in any form and ill try my gaddamn hardest to add them. feel free to *kindly* remind me if i forgot. (as in no verbal abuse ya know. if ur scared ur probably fine)

the last section that is mostly important for followers :]

if u wanna follow me it’d be cool if you have a banner and pfp but as long as ur like not a bot ur good.

feel free to ask questions :) this is the point at which i tell you that i love getting asks and dms. my dms are always open unless i am dead. (current status: alive at very least.) also i am in school so you are practically guaranteed to get a response not immediately. give me 12-24 hours to respond before being offended. after that it’s fair game.

I genuinely do not care and give no fucks about what you believe and how you live your life as long as you dont hurt yourself or others, you are not offended by me being very not religious/spiritual and you do not shove it down anyones throat.

I mostly do reblogs and tag them as such half the time

lastly if you interact with this post it lets me know that you read it but i’m gonna look at your profile anyway if u follow me so you don’t have to.

thank you for reading all of that i know it’s long. your cool so here’s a cookie 🍪 also here have this

credit to @v-4-l-0-n and @theprideful :)

(order of the banners are “exclusionists fuck off”, then this user loves being a lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, genderfluid, then non binary)

#queer #intro post #uhhhh #yeah #long posts #holy shit

69 notes · View notes

cmdonovann · 1 year

Text

okay so, ive been reblogging a lot of stuff from @fujowebdev this past month. in case i havent mentioned yet, yes, its because i am working on this project! (ive done some character design stuff for a few characters that havent been released yet, as well as some little illustrations for the kickstarter campaign, which you should check out here if you havent yet!)

(here's some of the art i did for the kickstarter, as seen here, and you can find a little more about what ive been doing for the project in this post.)

but you may be wondering why i am working on this project in the first place. well, good question! its basically a long series of random events that starts several years ago, so i wont bore you with that much detail, but the long and short of it is that i ended up joining a discord server called fandom coders for fandom folks who like coding and/or want to learn coding. (you can find them here, at their website, which i have also made some small contributions to!)

the fancoders are basically the coolest group of people ever; they've all been super nice, encouraging, and helpful! tbh, ive been feeling disillusioned by social media as a way of sharing my art for some time now, especially with the increase in sites that disallow/ban nsfw art in recent years, and the fandom coders discord (and especially ms boba, head of the kickstarter project and bobaboard) was more than happy to help me expand my skills so i could work on improving my own website. and the skill they helped me with that has been most vital... turned out to be learning how to use git and github!

so that brings us to the kickstarter. the main reason i've put off learning more about web development for many years was honestly just intimidation. i find a lot of resources that are supposedly aimed at people wanting to create websites are... really not all that friendly to amateurs or newbies! and for a long time, i had no one (and nowhere) to ask for help about this without being shamed for my lack of skill.

this is why i think a resource like the guide we are kickstarting is such a big deal, and why i was pretty much instantly down to volunteer my time towards making it a reality. i know there are TONS of other fandom folks out there who would love to make their own websites to showcase their love for their fandom, but not nearly enough resources that teach website-making skills in a way that is approachable and FUN.

(and fun is exactly what we are trying to make this! hence the hot anime boys.)

anyway, that's my pitch! if you haven't already, go check out our kickstarter! we're already fully funded, but we have a couple of stretch goals that i think are really cool, so any extra funding helps us get to those! the first volume of the book/zine we're making covers git and github, so that you can learn version control and make your websites without the fear of breaking your site while editing and not having any way to recover the old unbroken version (TTwTT)b we've all been there...

#wOW that got longer than i intended. my b #fujowebdev #fujoguide #very hype to eventually reveal the characters i designed lol #that will probably be a couple volumes down the line tho haha

7 notes · View notes

geckosliktheireyes · 1 year

Text

.. So my irl bestie has made the risky promise of- "if you write fanfic, ill write fanfic" so here i am, posting this shit, to spite her, its an au ive been working on bc i feel like the universes fit together- heres some of my ideas.

Lumera- a world renound sword maker, shes made legendary swords that have defeated dragons to fleets of armies. Famous for her craft she lives on a large estate in Lythos, a small town of peaceful people in the earth nation, a non bender,. Though with her fighting techniques youd never tell the difference.

Vander- a friend of Lady Lumera, secretive, and strict, a metal bender

Alear- raised within the walls of her mothers villa and workshop, she took up a severe intrest in martial arts, quite practiced in it she frequents to Dojo on Lythos to her be trained, by Vander of course, a long time friend of Lady Lumera, a non bender who is soon plunged into her responsibilies and the pressure of being the Avatar

Clanne- the boy is a water bender- a.. Clumsy one at that- though hes one of Alears cloest friends- he keeps all sorts of secrets hes been sworn into by Vander

Framme- Alears other friend, a girl who may rival Alear in her martial arts abilities, a water bender who can only use it for healing abilities, though she doesn't seem to bothered by that, she happens to be a loud mouth, and is very upset by what her brother and Vander aren't letting her know.

Alfred- prince of the earth kingdom, and frail in his own way, though if you mention that youll be subjected in tagging along with his job through the nearby mountain range, he never met Alear until they met in a china shop, Celine wanted new china for her tea parties,, and Alear didn't quite know how she ended up there, but lets just say they didn't leave with any china, nothing was left in one piece

Ivy- princess of the southern water tribe, reluctant as her father dives into the possibilitys with dead bodies, water bending, and war. Shes caught in quite the mess, unsure of what side she should be on, not wanting to leave her poor kid sister behind with people who manipulate the long dead.

Diamant- prince of the fire nation, he met Alear while camping with his father and brother. The "avatar" had gotten caught in Alcryst's hunting trap, which was quite a hilarious fiasco of his yelled apologies and offers of everything he owned as a "sorry" , he decides to try to teach Alear fire bending which they soon realize is easier said than done.

Timerra- a powerful air bending monk, known for.. Being the chillest around really, she finds the "avatar" amusing, and is also quite suspicious of if this girl is really capable of anything other than tripping over her own sword and completing others to no end.

Idk if this is crap or not i havent shown anything ive written publicly since 2014 💀

Heres a lil snippet of the first chapter, so yall can see what my writings like and if its worth reading or anything. Im a newbie definitely, and.. Very wordy but my irl bestie said she'll be my beta reader and editor for me! So hopefully that will improve if she gets the time to do so.

"Alear knew something was off the moment her mother informed her it was time to forge a sword of her own. Lumera was a master in the crafting of blades of all sorts, but never seemed too worried about teaching Alear the details of her work. Alear was alright with it, she had her own talents, such as her martial arts, that she was always working on, Lumera understood her child walked a different path than her own. Which. Is why it confused Alear so when her mother became adamant she needed a sword of the finest silver and the sharpest blade as soon as possible. And even more confused she became when her mother told her she would forge the sword to make it the closest to her liking. It was a nerve wracking process which made Alear appreciate her mothers work to no end..however LIberation was done in due time. The silver and gold sword felt heavy in her hands, but.. a sort of comforting weight , one she knew would help protect her shall it ever need too. Lumera gave a soft chortling laugh.

‘’My child you are not supposed to hold it in such a way- your lucky your have gloves ‘lest you cut yourself!’’ She took Alears confused and clumsy hands, showing her the proper way to handle the blade.

‘’Oh.. I still don't understand why I need a sword- much less one of silver and meteorite metals! I think this sword is better than even the blades you use!’’ She exclaimed…feeling the grief for Lumeras financial state. ‘’I don't see the issue? The daughter of a sword master should have something to show for her lineage.’’ She gave her child a bright smile, her light blue hair tied back into a regal bun, as she reached into a wooden crate by her side and pulled from it a steel sword with a blue leather hilt, the blade having been dulled of course but Alear sure as hell didn't know that. As her face convulsed into an expression of panic and confusion. Her mother lunged at her, swords clashing as Alear defended her face from a slash , in a less than graceful manner." soyeah. Uhm we'll see if i write it- lemme know how my writing is.

And heres a drawing of the main cast's designs, hope i combined ATLA with ENGAGE nicley and this isnt just a total cringe fest ill look back on as i tremble in terror of the memory in passing years.

Also engage dlc looking tasty

18 notes · View notes

sterlingarcher · 1 year

Note

I love seeing your posts about like bandom history and just discussion and reflection from a more mature adult's angle, it's really relatable to me at 29. And while I have not involved in bandom before late 2015, I have studied a lot myself, and Panic! and Brendon were my first faves and still high up there. It really disappoints me how brutal antis are as I have figured them out to a T, treating minor errors as hate-crimes from Brendon but not anyone else. Are we not all human?

i havent checked my messages in so long so im not 100% certain when this was sent but this was a really nice thing to stumble upon today 😭😭😭 it makes me feel good to know that there are people out there who can sort of ~smell what im stepping in~ so to speak and that when i talk about this stuff its not always falling on deaf ears. ive always rejected the term “anti” because it feels so immature to say, but honestly what other word is there to even describe most of these people? haters? bullies? assholes? they dont have any actual critical thought behind why they came to hate brendon, they just know it became the cool and popular thing to hate him and “blame him” for shit and they couldnt bear the thought of not following the crowd and fitting in. youd be hard pressed to find me anyone whos life has been documented and scrutinized for as long as and as harshly as brendons since they were a teenager who HASNT stumbled or fucked up or put their foot in their mouth at some point. its wildly hypocritical because these people act very pure and righteous, and like theyve never done or said anything wrong or questionable or problematic in their lives which is just…. quite literally patently untrue for every person on earth. to assert moral and ethical superiority over a person like brendon is to be horrendously disingenuous, and it grossly highlights the efficacy of social media fandom war smear campaigns, lack of proper journalism, and the terrifying degeneration of peoples ability to engage in critical thought and perform unbiased fact-based research. these people act like brendon singlehandedly committed genocide or some shit, and honestly i find these people spend far more time thinking and talking about him than we as fans do. like he quite literally lives in these peoples heads rent free, and these are the same people who call us pathetic for still enjoying him and his music after all these years and not dropping off and following the crowd of sheeple like they did. like these people have the nerve to behave like 13 year old lunch-room bullies and then turn around and call people cringe and pathetic for *checks notes* … enjoying someone and their art and music. like honey the call is coming from inside the house. they love to use the classics like “jeez its just a joke” or “its not that deep…” when the reality is that if it was truly not that deep they wouldnt spend so much time obsessing over him and talking about him more than his fucking fans do. they quite literally troll his and panics tags and quote retweet and reblog almost everything they see with a shitty snide remark that they truly think is soooo clever and original (🙄) like its their fucking 6 figure paid career path. they constantly poke the bear, go swinging at a hornets nest with lead pipes, and then they get confused and pissed when they get bit and stung. like literally dude what did you expect? you come into a space specifically to cause trouble and piss people off and then act like the victim when you actually accomplish that??? call people cringe and fail and annoying and strange when they get emotional over something they clearly care deeply about??? as though if the tables werent turned these people wouldnt immediately start screaming crying throwing up and playing the victim. honestly though at the very end of the day i truly believe these proudly self-proclaimed “haters” are more miserable than ill ever be no matter how bad my life circumstances get. because ultimately i only spend a few hours, maybe a day or two at most being pissed that these bullies and mean-girls exist and love to invade our spaces for shits and giggles. but they apparently spend entire days, weeks, months… YEARS of their lives being bitter and vile and mean for the sake of maybe 10 likes on twitter and 5 minutes of internet validation. what a sad fucking existence. i prefer to be someone who enjoys things and engages with and consumes things that make me happy and joyful thank you :) anyway sorry for the ramble! if you read all of it i appreciate and love you for it!! 💕

3 notes · View notes

dausy · 1 year

Text

Ive posted this to IG and twitter before. Again, art for just fillers sake. Kinda an art vs artist version 2022 but not all of these were done this year.

I mentioned on IG that this year started off really rough. We got hit at the same time with both my husbands dad passing away and our cat at the same time. It was a rough January. I then lost both grandmothers. We did do some cool things. Disney at easter time was a lot of fun. We did the new ratatouille ride, husband got to do Rise of the Resistance for the first time but unfortunately the new GotG ride wasnt open yet. I also got to see my first ever Cirque du Soleil show and saw Alannis Morrisette in concert. I also got really lucky with art companies sending me lots of art freebies. Its been so cool. I never thought Id ever be worthy of art freebies.

Now ofcourse we are just hanging out in our hotel. Housing said theyd hopefully have our house ready next week. Im so ready to be moved in and buy new stuff for our home. Our apartment we had a mantle over a fireplace for our tv and now I think we need to go buy a tv stand. I dont know why thats exciting but it is. I also tossed all our old shower curtains so now Im going to retheme the bathrooms 8D

Ofcourse having my art space back would be nice. Its hard to create outside a comfy spot.

As for the area..now Ive lived in the southwest before but I think my dog is missing the grass. Shes having a hard time using the bathroom with her little feet and decorative rocks. We've yet to track down a dog park just yet but shes overdue for a game of fetch.

My first impression was how huge this city was. Like I knew it was large based on population but like idk..guess I thought people would build up? Everything is like single story accross a vast flat land. Its so weird to see houses go that far back. I am so far enjoying the amenities. Alot of the neighborhoods are definitely screaming border city ghetto. Ive yet to wander into the higher class neighborhoods yet but even amongst the ghetto looking houses they have so many amentities in one place. I havent seen a super target in years and I went in one today 8D and we've gone indoor rock climbing twice so far. I got dutch bros coffee (Im never going back but Ive never been to one before!!!). And they have a disney store here! A DISNEY STORE. I THOUGHT THEY WERE ALL DEAD! They had simba/nala plushies and I put them back 8(

What Im most excited for is one of the 3 rock gyms is 5 mins from my house and free to me. The major regular gym is accross the street. The army post here is the fanciest Ive ever seen. Theres a starbucks down the street too. So honestly if I could find remote work I never need to leave post really.

Anywho I applied for a couple jobs. Im still a bit overwhelmed and its really hard to job search and fill out apps on a phone/ipad. Much easier on a desktop. And its obviously very much so like a foreign country. I have heard more Spanish here than English which is also..making..job hunting interesting.

But Im not going to worry for now.

I am going to make another tumblr post later probably about other things Ive accomplished this year but this ones long enough.

#artvsartist #artvsartist2022 #sketchbook #illustration #realmedia #watercolors #gouache #sketch #drawing #traditionalart #mixedmedia #traditionalmedia #lion #tiger #artist #artblog #lifeblog

4 notes · View notes

bluest-planet · 2 years

Text

Fuck it this is gonna be a fashion blog too because im OBSESSED.

I've had this idea on the back burner of my brain for a while now and drawing my magican/ouji inspired Klarion designs have really itched the spot in my brain enough for me to talk fashion more. Hope y'all dont mind me posting in the Klarion tag for this- I promise smth will come outta it. Long story short tho- I really, really want to make a Klarion themed coat with red (possibly blue and gold? Mostly black and red palette) embroidery and diamond patterning.

If u wanna read more about it (and me being a bit sappy) click for more!

Okay! If you've clicked to read this! Than many kudos to you for listening to crazed Blue's ramblings about fashion when ive only just made a pair of barely recognize mock-up pants like,,, yesterday and I'm still feeling proud of myself for it.

Quick rundown- I'm super into fashion, specifically Ouji fashion, sustainability, traditional latine/mexican embroidery/textile work, and occasionally street fashion. I have a sewing machine, ive patched up more than enough ripped pants, hemmed pants/shirts, and patches in my life. Small things really.

But recently, I've always had the idea of making very personalized/one of a kind type of jackets. I've done this to my own jean jackets to embroider stars, add decorative paneling and the like! Love it. My latest passion project though and important thing here is my 'Robin' themed jacket.

I took a white jean jacket from the thrift store, dyed it green, bought tones of sequins and shiny fabric to add to it. I'm currently in the painstaking process of sewing in one sequin at a time along my cuffs. Then I gotta embroider the R on the chest with gold n black thread. After that I'm gonna add red/gold/green diamond (or checkered, havent decided? Checks are easier but is it circus-y enough?) Along the back pannel. I might also embroider some stars, stripes, or wings as finishing touches. This has honestly kinda cost me lol, which is why ive been working on for almost a year now but just started w the bedazzlement. If I was gonna sell it (never im in love w it already but if i was) it be well over 100$ for the amount of love and labour ive put into it (my fingers have been pricked so many times lol.)

HOWEVER,,, I'm so in love with this process and I am just DYING to do this again. And all this fashion art for me just makes me love my hobbies so much. So, if I get the chance id love to try my hand at a Klarion inspired long coat next. More dramatic with flare!! An old coat, either black or smth I will dye black. If I go my Klarion magician/ouji designs Id love to do similar diamond patterning on panels or double lined on the inside, with celestial embroidery and new buttons. If i go with more yj themed Klarion- I WOULD LOVE to do long sleeves with red inner lining or cuffs to do smth nice and sleek but regal.

Of course, I'd have to buy all this and massively improve my sewing skills beyond minor application to actual fabrication. But im deadset on making a Klarion themed jacket next. I'll also be posting about the progress on my Robin Jacket soon too!! This was all an excuse to really just talk and hype myself up bc I feel like a quiet textile nerd stitching alone in my quiet little corner. Also bc, i may not be the best artist, but drawing Klarion a lot recently has really helped invigorate me to get outta depressive art funk and be excited about creating again- even if hes just my fashion model at this point to me, lol.

If you've read this far- wow, thank you! I'm very impressed w all the hardwork and earnestness of all the creators and enjoyers in the Klarion tag! I'd never thought a character tag for some niche DC Tumblrsexyman witchboy would make me so happy to engage with from time to time. The few comments ive gotten for my Klarion art has been to uplifting and encouraging to keep doing what I love. Stay cool out there! Thanks for reading this- uh? Blurb?? Means a lot.

#klarion #klarion the witch boy #Interstellar Fashion Runway #<- new fashion tag maybe #blue speaks #blue thinks

3 notes · View notes

kin-the-muffin · 4 months

Text

haha soooo many things happening rn and i feel like i have so much time to do nothing like i used to but when i take a step back sure i have less but i still have a lot but then i remember that theres homework im already ignoring in my classes and new friends to know and be known by and old friends to either dump cuz theyre toxic and i never realized or try in vain to keep ahold of a slipping relationship and im in my senior year now hahahaaaaa

vent below

i auditioned for my school’s musical and i finally got a speaking part and im also technically a lead and that rly cool but it also means im going to have to stay at school for twelve hours almost every day until the second week of march when the play ends

im in my school’s honor choir and its a zero hour so i have to wake up at unheavenly times to get there and sing for two and a half hours

i get to be in a rly big state choir too and thats coming up in february and i havent looked at the music yet and i cant get the remind to work and all the emails are so long-winded and badly-formatted and confusing

and my english class is nearly full of students so thats fun and my school has zero, count em, Z E R O good senior english teachers but im pretty sure i have the better of two devils and i had her last semester so i know her and she knows me but i also know the kinda bs shes gonna throw at us and i just have to hope that she wasnt lying when she said that this semester would be easier because we’re not working on senior papers this time (mine was about mental health in schools not that anyone asked lolll)

i also have the same government teacher as last semester which is both a blessing and a curse because i know what to expect but like none of it is good and he makes us do these stupid unnecessary tiny group projects and why tf cant i just work alone i only know one person in the class and his lectures are so pointless and please just let me take all the tests and be done with this heaven-forsaken class already

then im in studio art which is basically the highest level art class at my school and you have to get permission from an art teacher to be in one of their hours then you work on one huge independent project the whole semester and my art teacher knows i draw on my ipad and said i could make a comic so now i have to figure out what its about then i can hopefully start the ball rolling from there but i have too many ideas and not enough at the same time and none of them are developed enough to make a 22-page, fully edited-and-colored comic

and my choir director is so incredibly passive aggressive but not really on purpose, he just knows he has a rbf and so he overcompensates to make himself more friendly but then when his patience runs thin he yells and i wanna cry and die and quit high school and cry some more

and im trying so hard not to stress over college because i know im gonna take a gap year so i can think about it then but two of my sisters have offered their homes to me and i love them both so much and ive been thinking about just getting an apartment and a roommate but i have to tell them that because one of them is going to renovate their basement with my potential living there in mind and then i end up stressing about college anyways like what major and what minor and what school and what even is my endgoal???? i dont know?!?!??!?!! i dont know what i want to do with my life, not specifically! my biggest dream rn is to be an mc streamer and thats just cuz im back in my mcyt phase and the old pipe dream from my childhood has returned but i know it cant actually work out btu the dreamer in me says it can but i know it realistically has like a .000002% chance of actually happening

and thats all i have the energy to say rn

sorry for the rant

sorry for not posting

ty and goodnight

#kin’s rambles #vent #high school #it sucks #i swear i wanna die #*rasputin voice from anastaisia*#mark my words #me myself and i will die #before i graduate #i want to rest so much and end my bloodline #forever #/j #man i really hope none of my friends and family see this cuz a few follow me on here #its just a question of do they look at it enough?#probably not

1 note · View note

greeenwings · 7 months

Text

you know what? i think the process of making art is much more rewarding than its outcome. i think art’s more rewarding when you do it on a whim rather than plan it out. or maybe that’s just me or maybe it’s because i havent done anything in a long time

and you know something else? recently a thing ive realised is that many people dont understand the concept of art at all. i was speaking to this girl and i mentioned i love art and may continue it like a sideline thing till im financially stable and after that switch over to like a full time artist and she said why not choose product designing (or some fuck thing else, like UI or UX). i had to take a minute and just be like wait, what? yuck. dude do i LOOK like i wanna have a desk job and sit and do some yada yada boring im designing shit or whatever because thats exactly what art is… i dont get it. whats there not to get about art? i think a little after that it hit me that theres probably just a little bit out of the population that can fully understand what the hell art means. i mean when i say art i mean full wanna-be-somebody-wanna-make-life-out-of-making-all-my-feelings-and-visions-come-true-wanna-be-somebody-wanna-make-history-wanna-make-it-to-museums-i-wanna-make-life-i-want-to-be-true

i want to be true. to myself

i dont know if anyone’s ever fully going to understand this. maybe no one ever will but maybe im just blinded by this feeling of being lonely and non-understandable but maybe no one actually gets it but maybe im blinded by my own ego but maybe no one ACTUALLY gets it.

listen if i dont ever really make it, i dont know what im going to do with myself

recently ive not been able to go near the daily dose of how much art i make and let me tell you it’s killing me so slowly like a drug ive been ripped away from

so yeah, the idea of me sitting somewhere in my life sometime and im not successful in the field of art.. it bothers me. a lot. like a lot a lot a LOT a lot. i have these ideas and these concepts which no one else seems to have and it makes me feel similar to whatever great oil painter ive seen before and i want to be just. like. them. i want to paint. i want to do oil paint. i want to make life. i want to be painfully lost in my ability because i’ve done something great ive done something ive always wanted to do and im here and i did it. i did it. i want to be able to say i did it because if i cant, im found dead somewhere in a bathtub or in a car that crashed on a mountain highway away from the people i love, if i still have any.

i need to do something about this because i cant let this go. my brain’s too full of ideas for all of it to just go away. im going to do something about this

0 notes

elkiyv · 10 months

Text

ive been in an episode that ping pongs between depression and a mixed episode for the majority of 2022 and 2023 and my brain is literally numb and dead i cant wait for gomens s2 to jump start it back to the living like it's the only thing that was dragging me through my bp2 episodes...

i dont even recognise the style in which i draw in now... i havent drawn art for myself in a year or more just because i really find no more pleasure in it anymore and im really trying to claw my way back to what i used to be... it's hard for me to talk to friends and im lowkey pulling away from them cuz the medicine is making me slow and also i have no energy because ive been in a depression for god knows how long

the paranoia is eating me alive and destroyed my confidence in art and i dont believe in myself anymore.. there are so many signs that is just pointing that i shouldnt be an artist let alone be alive like the universe really is showing me all the signs even thought i know the signs are just irrational and persecutory delusions but at the same time theyre all so viable and real ! bosses talking about how i suck? colleagues having a gc where they talk about how i suck? everyone in the office hates me for no reason but i know they do and theyre just entertaining whatever i say to talk about it in the supposed gc they have that i saw off my colleagues telegram screen not even knowing what it's for.

im going crazy i really am and im not even the fun kind of bipolar! where is MY hypomania why does my depression even kick that down too? was my psyche not enough? why cant i have that endless hours of energy and great creativity i dont even care if i crash into deep depression afterward because thats what i am most of the time anyway.. i went off my meds and i didnt even go into mania i just went back to a mixed episode ! (i went back on it later) im just mad and sad and trying to find a way out... but the moment i tell the truth about the extent of how suicidal i am my psych is gonna lock me up. so i tell him i have ideations but i would never act on it. but this past few months i really came so close. if i didnt have my cats i dont know what i would have done.

#THIS IS A RANT #TW SUICIDE AND ALL THAT SHIT #I HAte BEING BIPOLAR #FUCK THIS DISORDER

1 note · View note

astraleulogy · 6 years

Text

big yikes btw

#do you ever do something and then just kinda think... wow im jealous/not where i want to be/totally behind compared to everybody else #bc i just stalked this person's art that i really like and theyre like only a year or two older than me and i know people grow at their own #pace and logically they probably spend all damn day drawing whereas i have not done that in a very very long time #like LOGICALLY i know im fine and my art is fine and valid and whatnot #but also im like YUh why dont i have xyz or pqr or whatever and why havent i grown as much as this person #which again like i said is totally dumb and stupid #but i still feel inadequate sometimes when it comes to my art #which is definitely not something i want to feel considering i want to go into an artistic field or do something w art for the rest of my li #i have tons of drive and ambition to do what i want but i guess since ive taken mostly geneds and stuff i havent felt the rush of art and #how it makes me feel in a really long time #and yes i know its completely silly to compare myself to someone who might either be naturally better or taken different courses and classes #or even just draws and draws and draws all the fuckign time #but i find it hard to do that when im around others bc 1 i dont want to be rude w my nose in a sketchbook and 2 i think we lose feeling of #actually seeing the world when we shove our noses wholly into our work #its not a bad thing to want to work on the things you love #but i guess im afraid that if i throw myself into my work i'll forget to stop and look around me and miss tons of things #like for example i would love to sketch downtown while i walk or eat or do whatever there but i would be missing out on all the photos my #brain could take of that day... you know? have you ever just seen the light shining right and you want to photograph it the way you see it #but the damn cameras dont fuckign let you do it #it sucks because i see things so vibrantly sometimes and i want to draw it but i guess im afraid if i start drawing ill either miss it or #something else beautiful #however it doesnt really make a difference since pretty things in nature will come and go #sOOOo logically i guess i should just draw it instead so i have the memory of what I was tryign to capture #lmao i went so far into this post .. four hours of sleep per night is not good for me bc i start to have continuous existential crises #i'm just gonna draw more thats the fuckign conclusion to this mess lmao i cannot believe i had to rant in the tags of a post to figure that #kudos if you got down here tho i really am a mess sometimes #personal

4 notes · View notes

wintermutal · 3 years

Text

since im already going off on fountain pens i am now going to hold you all at gunpoint and force you to absorb the fountain pen knowledge ive gained through osmosis in the fountain pen subreddit over the past few weeks whether you want it or not. this is all coming from someone who really didnt use pens at all until i found a tester fountain pen for $1.50 in a staples clearance box and it was like adopting a puppy when youve never had one before

- modern fountain pens look normal. like theyre just normal pens with a different nib, so its not like youre causing a scene or even really looking pretentious if you write with one in public. this was a big surprise to me. they're also very functional, as in like, you dont need to dip them in a little ink well to use them or anything. like its the same but it just feels...different. nice

- the cheapest ones are the model i found initially, the pilot varsity model, which go for $3.50 full price and are good for that price. the most popular 'normal' ones above that are the lamy safari models in the $15 range, which come in a few aesthetically pleasing colors; i started using these to study around my birthday and got one as a gift, and its like, very nice all around, 10/10 writing utensil, and you can change out the ink if you want instead of throwing them away when they run empty (more on this later).

- im guessing the people on the FP subreddit know this and don't seem to care, or maybe like, im just not enlightened enough to understand, but it really seems like there's a rule of diminishing returns with these pens. the switch from a ballpoint pen or pencil to a cheap fountain pen is very nice, and the switch from those to a lamy one is also very nice and gives you the added feature of changing the ink, but once you get past that, it seems like...like they just get fancier without much noticeable improvement if youre just like, some guy using a fountain pen for writing things? like from there you get to real afficianatos showing off their new Elsador F69420 Boot Ass that they got for $40-$80, and then the people showing off their $170+ fountain pens that they got for their wedding or something, and then you can get golden nibs that get even more pricey (which are apparently to die for...for some reason?) and thats without considering all the repairs and work you can have done on them like youre taking your car to the shop? like maybe if youre a jaded fountain pen diehard user the upgrades here liven things up again but i just...i do not see the utility. like again im probably just not enlightened or something

- the nibs. the nibs come in different metals and different sizes, and they all can fit different pen bodies. some are engraved with elaborate little swirlies and such. these nibs can be cut in different ways to let you write in different ways, and there are services, like i mentioned above, that offer a menu of fountain pen tune-ups and nib alterations and stuff like that. there are certain ways nibs can be cut to write in very specific kinds of calligraphy or script, and you can like, pack your pen in a little box and order a $45 alteration to the nib to make it Epic on one side and Based on the other (to be fair...i do see the utility in this, because the people who have this done seem to know exactly what they want and what kind of work they want to do with it, and when you see that work its clear that these changes do have significant effects...but, as is warned explicitly on the webpages of some of these services, only if you know how to wield them correctly). these same services offer tune-ups to normal nibs for like $15-20 up to specific artisan work for golden nibs that are like, $150, and can 'reforge' a nib for a certain price (i have no idea what that means). im guessing the differences here are because the nib has a little split down the middle that can part and leave a wider line or a thinner one or whatnot, so different softer or harder metals will have different resistances and flexibility? i still dont know the deal with the golden nibs, though, and if you're like me youre just jabbing that shit onto the paper in whatever direction it comes up in like a 4 year old with a crayon and thats good enough

- the inks. there are hundreds of inks. the subreddit has a list of the community's favorite inks for each color. all of them are different. i am not an artist, i am a simple man, i use whatever ink comes with the ink in the pen, but people just...really like using different inks. they have full ink collections with a ton of different colors, but from what i understand it takes skill to change them out, because you need to clean the pen in a special way, then use a special syringe to fill a converter that lets it drip into the cartridge...maybe this is why people also have a lot of pens, so you dont have to do this a million times if you want another color (although it seems like changeable cartridges are a thing too, so maybe you just switch those out??). im not even going to call the different colors frivolous, though, because even to me, a cynical basic bitch fountain pen user who uses them without even considering the angle which you have to hold the pen to write the best with it (too much work), i can see the difference, and by god is it satisfying. as you can imagine, even the bottles of these lined up on a shelf look satisfying.

- the paper. i think this is more of a general art thing, and if youre an artist you probably know more about this than i do, but this was news to me. i knew vaugely that there were thicker papers and thinner papers, but there are some papers that are better than others where the ink looks nicer, it feels better to write on them, and they don't bleed through as much. one of the favorites of the FP subreddit is rhodia, which is pretty affordable ($4-9) and sells basic notebooks that are 80g/m2. 80g/m2 is apparently a good baseline paper weight for fountain pens. i found a place that sold rhodia and got one, because the ink was bleeding through the weak plebeian spiral notebook paper i was using and part of the appeal is making it look satisfying, and it is, indeed, good paper. idk much about paper but i appreciate this paper. it is nice, it is an aesthetic. maybe thats why people buy really expensive pens and gold nibs and stuff, like a good deal of it is an aesthetic, but what aesthetic, exactly....i dont know. i havent fully uncovered the deep fountain pen lore yet.

anyway, im sure im just forgetting things i want to say but there is my long rant about fountain pens

#hello new followers. this is your life now #fountain pens #vandal.txt #long post

101 notes · View notes

actualbird · 2 years

Note

Waking up to a new fic was an absolute delight and reading through it only made everything better.

Man I really feel Ria with the long weeks. And the extra long weekend because that's a brutal series of minor inconveniences. Did she ever manage to open the jar?

Absolutely love the reference to the latest chapter dfhigojg bashing reinforced plexiglass has nothing on not being able to open a jar. At least the exercise will help Ria in whatever new life threatening situation she ends up in.

WHY DOES DAVIS SAYING GET SHREDDED MAKE ME LAUGH

Artem listening to My Heart Will Go On dtidtid I adore this.

Artem's Wordle noooo. It's such a frustrating feeling that one's. Not valid it's not a shame-inducing thing but slightly more understandable!

I absolutely adore the shift from romance to Artem tripping over a crack in the pavement. The natural conclusion to seeing nothing but your crush.

The music swelled right when Ria caught him too I just realised dgidit

He's made worse excuses than "for charity"? Now I'm curious about those other excuses.

It's the all caps respectful in Artem's search that gets me the most.

You know what I can understand Marius' reaction. That was hot and I'll be unpacking why I think that too.

Teach Davis about creativity :(

WIKIHOW????? ARTEM PLEASE

Oh my god she knocked Luke out. What workouts is she doing I need those too. Absolutely adore Luke's reaction too xfuxu

Vyn using his universe-assigned accidents to his advantage is something I'm adopting as canon now.

RIA HOLY SHIT THE BRIDAL CARRY

Cgkcjg nice jab at Artem there Vyn.

I adore Davis and his stalker tendencies. Also he's right that the four boys are extremely entertaining to watch.

Excellent fic again!!!! Absolutely love the premise and all the boys swooning over a buff Ria. Thank you for writing this! I'm sorry if this seems a little messy cgidgk I'm not quite fully awake yet.

🌌

waaaaa gmorning, milkyway!! thanks for reading "baby, you're the man, but i got the power" OwO

pls dont apologize for anything omg, im HONORED u read this fic not 100% awake, kinda like a morning newspaper but theres no information about the world's events, just convoluted swooning over strength

ria's long week was honestly me projecting how ive been feeling lately kJBKJSDKJFSD!! sometimes weeks are just Like That :( tho unlike her, my weeks Like That never made me decide to start working out, LMAO.

SHE DOES EVENTUALLY OPEN THE JAR! in my mind, i assume that she took a frustration nap after the whole ordeal and when she woke up she had more strength to open it but she already committed to Operation Get Shredded

artem's wordle shame is also me projecting //SOBS. i havent done wordle in a while but it was my dream to have 3rd Row as my highest solves, but im not as smart as artem so my current standing is this

MY SHAME IS IMMEASURABLE

a knockout isnt too hard to do! a strong enough right hook to the jaw or temple is enough to jostle a person’s brain into temporary sleepytown. actually, most well placed blunt force trauma hits can result in a knockout (take it from me who had balance issues growing up and bashed my head EVERYWHERE at school for a few years. i basically lived in the clinic, i was always getting temporary sleepytown)

usually, knockout punches actually just knockout a person for a few seconds, which is what happened to luke, and it’s super common in like, UFC MMA fights which i used to watch a lot as a kid. it’s this split second unconsciousness that leaves the opponent unguarded for a much stronger punch that can knockout for a much longer time. the head is just That Fragile and thats why guarding it is the most important thing to do in any kind of martial arts

but luke did not do that because hes a dumb dumb who underestimated ria and being completely unguarded and not braced for impact? SLEEPYTOWN, BOIIII!!!

vyn got THE MOST shoujo anime romance scene in this fic, the lucky bastard!!!!!!!

thank u sm for the lovely ask, milkyway <3 im rlly glad u enjoyed the fic :D

#milkyway!anon #asks #ive gotten knocked out by bonking my head in places but never w a punch. but ive only gotten punched in the face once #i feel like i should get punched in the face some more for writing ref purposes #commints

11 notes · View notes

pigstepmp3-moved · 3 years

Photo

holy hell, gamers, i finally reached one whole thousand followers! how bonkers is that! when i first made this blog in december 2018, i was just trying to start over in a new fandom. ive been active on tumblr for a looong time (since i was like 11, which is. not great, but we wont get into that). i cant remember quite why i decided to remake, but i never imagined getting a higher following than i did before, but i did! 1000 followers is bonkers, i’ve never had a thousand of anything! i seriously cant thank each and every one of you enough, whether you followed me for 911 or for mcyt or for whatever!

now, since ive reached this absolutely bonkers milestone, im feeling particularly sappy! so under the cut, i have some friends and mutuals tagged who are super great n who are always an absolute pleasure to see on my dash! <3 again, thank you all so much! (ps, if we’re mutuals and i didnt tag u in this, that doesnt mean i dont love and appreciate you!! i mostly am just picking people to tag based off how often i see them on my dash! i love all of u so much <3)

♡ 911 FRIENDS ♡

(aka the ogs, aka the fire fam)

♡ @lovelessmotel ♡ emily!! god, where do i even begin with how much i love and adore you!! i know youre one of my big sisters, but wow i am so proud of how much youve discovered yourself since we’ve met!! like wow, look at this epic, gorgeous person whos one of MY close friends! im so lucky to be friends with you! thank you so much for being my friend, i appreciate you and all the sisterly advice you’ve given me more than i can ever put into words!

♡ @eddiediaz-buckley ♡ sav!! mom!! i love u so unbelievably much!! i am so unbelievably grateful for you and everything youve done for me! all the advice youve given me and all the times youve let me vent to you have been so important to me and i cannot thank you enough for all that. im soso appreciative of you and im so glad that i have someone as amazing as you as my mom/big sister (we’ll never really figure out our fams family dynamics, will we?) (ps, whenever i go outside and have my keys with me, its always so comforting to feel the keychain you got me! its like my moms with me everywhere i go!)

♡ @liesoverthec ♡ bonbonbonbon!!! i love you so much, you wouldnt BELIEVE how much i love you!!! im so glad we met bc you are so unbelievably kind!! there is a very good reason a nickname for u is bonbon bc you are just as sweet as candy!! maybe even more so!! i love having you as one of my big sisters, you give such wonderful advice and talking to you always makes me feel a million times better!! i love you and i am soso glad i get to call you my friend!

♡ @marauder-girl ♡ sabsabsab!! i love u so much, u funky lil future lawyer!! im so proud of u and i can hardly believe ur gonna be my Lawyer big sister!!! thats so awesome!! i cant believe such a rad person is one of MY friends!! how lucky am i!! i love having you as one of my big sisters, youre so kind and funny and talented and your advice has always been so helpful to me too! thank you so much for being my friend and for always being there for me!!

♡ @nighting-gale17 ♡ cait, my love, my wifey!!! wowowow i love u so much!!! im so glad we’re friends, you are so unbelievably lovely!! youre also so unbelievably talented like??? hey queen wanna hand some of ur writing ability over to the unfortunate (like me). i’m so glad we’re friends, youre so sweet and even tho we dont talk as much as we used to, i still have SO much love for you in my heart

♡ @africaneuropean ♡ rae, my father!! i love u so much!! i know we havent talked at all in. who knows how long. but i still have so much love for u in my heart!! you are so iconic and cool and funny, im so glad i met you n became friends with you!! ur one of the coolest people i know, i hope i can be as cool and mysterious and wonderful as you one day

♡ @evaneddie ♡ DHYL!!! dhyl pickle i love u so much!!! whenever u pop into my inbox with random nice messages, every part of me lights up!!! u are so kind to me and for what!! i miss talking to u as much as we used to, you are so sweet and you are such a good friend!! i love u n im SO proud of how far youve come with gif making, i still remember when u first started n youve gotten SO amazing at gifs lately!! i love u soso much n im so glad we’re friends, youre so awesome!!!

♡ @basil-the-writer ♡ des!!! i love u so much!!! i know we’ve never rly talked all that much but im glad we have interacted in the ways that we have!! u are so sweet n so talented!! like the fact that u have the patience for those lil video edits u do?? that is so cool!! all ur edits are so cool, i cannot imagine being able to make stuff like that without dying every single time. u are so cool n i love being able to call u my friend!!

♡ GRIFF ♡

(aka griff)

♡ @yawnralphio ♡ u get ur own section bc u are my only 911 friend who isnt an og, but thats ok bc u are so swaggy!! i love being friends with u griff, u are so cool and funny and i am so glad that u still want to be friends with me despite all of the horrifying things u’ve learned about mcyt from me jdhfajkdhfa. i love u so much n i am so excited to get to know u more n get closer to u!!

♡ FRUITBLR ♡

(aka mcyt friends)

♡ @fear-epidemic ♡ atlas u are so swaggy and funny!! tumblr funny man!! im so glad we’re mutuals, i love u a whole lot. that one time u me n wilby played bed wars together was so fun even if we’re really bad! n that one time we played on the fruitblr server while on vc was so fun, i loved talking to u n playing with u so much, we gotta do that again sometime. i love u so much chapin n im so glad we’re friends!!

♡ @netheritedream ♡ hari my beloved... i love u so much. like literally so much that its really embarassing. i am so glad u tagged me in that one follow forever post n put the offer on the table to let me join the server. i love being ur dumb lil husband!!! jus like actual fundy, i would risk it all to watch treasure planet with u. i love u sososo much, i wish i could live closer to u so i could actually talk to u more often </333 im going through severe withdrawal, pray for me. im gonna stop talking for now bc if i kept going on, this post would be several miles along n nobody has time for that </3 just know that i love u so much and i love having matching icons n i love being ur husband, i love u so much

♡ @sootswilbur ♡ tommy... i care you so much. little bromther!!! im sososo glad we’re friends bc u are so kind to me all the time n u are so easy to talk to!! ur also so talented, ur writing n ur gifs are so amazing n im so proud of all the awesome stuff u make!! seeing u experiment more with ur gif sets n trying new things is so awesome n inspiring and i love seeing ur experiments work out!! i love u soso much n im so happy to be ur big brother!! (or one of them at least)

♡ @fruitbur ♡ virgil my Other beloved... i love u so much!! u are one of the kindest people ive ever met n im so glad i met u!! i know ive already told u this before but ur tagging system is so sweet n i love seeing u reblog my posts bc im like “yay alastair is gonna tell me that he loves me in the tags :D” i also lovelovelove ur theme, i love the soft pink and the lil aesthetic board that u have pinned, its so nice to look at!!! ily sososo much <333

♡ @theartofmining ♡ hey fruit ily. like genuinely, u are so unbelievably funny that u make my ribs hurt so much. i know we’re like never rly that serious but i love u so much. as much as i joke about hating u, i really am glad we’re friends n i really look forward to becoming better friends with u. i love u a whole lot rain, i love seeing u on my dash bc ur full of good takes n funny posts

♡ @sapnaplive ♡ dream.... bonks our foreheads together... i care u so much. my other half!!! i love u with my whole little heart. u are soso cool and im so lucky to be able to call u my friend!! ur themes are always so cool, i wish i could be half as cool as them!!! ur art is also so epic like??? u are a triple threat: good at art, tumblr themes, AND minecraft building. and ur also so kind!!! u are one of the sweetest people i know, i love u so much and im so glad im friends with u!!

♡ @dreams-little-kitten ♡ corn u are so weird and i mean that in the kindest way possible. u are so cryptic n i love that so much about u. ur like the wilbur to my philza sometimes and i think thats so awesome. that one time u came into my inbox to talk shit about that one cuphead boss was so funny and absurd, i loved that so much. i love You so much. i love how ur just so effortlessly funny, n im so glad i can be friends with u

♡ @dreamsmp ♡ JEL!!!! i love u so much holy cow. u are so sweet!! all the time!!! ur also so talented, ur gifs always look so good!!! i love being friends with u, ur always so nice to me n u always leave rly nice tags when u reblog my gif sets that make me so happy!!! i think about that one time u rbed my fundy gif set n said “FUNDY GIFS” and “GIFS BY FUNDY” it made me so happy!!! i love u a whole lot, im so glad we’re friends :)

♡ @leaguelol ♡ damien!! i love u so much u funky little cryptid!! i love when u pop into the gc just to share cryptic thoughts, u are so strange but i think thats so cool of u!!! i honestly see u kinda like a lil sibling, im always so proud of u when i see ur art on my dash!! u are so talented at art!! i love u so much n i love being ur friend, ur rly sweet n i love seeing u on my dash and in the gc!!

♡ @its5undy ♡ idk why im putting u on this, ur my mortal enemy. jkjk, i actually love u a lot clay! i love joking around with u, ur so funny and for what. im so glad u joined the gc bc i love talking to you so much!! i still love that one time u reblogged that fwt gif set n tagged me in it moments after I reblogged it. i love that u thought about me, that rly warms my heart! i love being friends with u sososo much

♡ @cavalreee ♡ oh hey, another great big fruit!! i dont think we talk all that often, which is a shame, bc ur so sweet!! and also so fucking funny, why is everyone in this friend group so fucking funny, its not fair. i love seeing u on my dash talking with ur other friends, u always have the funniest convos ever. also? ur desktop theme is SO epic, it threw me off the first time i saw it but its so swaggy, just like u!! i love u soso much azzie, n i hope we can talk more in the future bc ur so cool

♡ @technosoot ♡ i love u even tho ur a br*t /j /j /j. jannat u are so unbelievably sweet. im so glad u joined the gc bc u are such a kind presence both in there and on my dash! u radiate very Warm, Friend energy. ur friend shaped. i love u so much n i love being friends with u!! im very eager to become closer friends with u bc u seem like a really amazing friend to have

♡ @sortasortaspicy ♡ les where are u in the gc i miss u </3 i love u so much, u fit in so well from the very beginning n brought so much more fun and laughter into the gc. i dont know u all that well n i dont think we’ve talked one on one like. at all. but id love to get closer to u bc ur so rad and ur so sweet!!

♡ EPIC PEOPLE ♡

(aka mutuals who are so cool n id love to be friends with u pls talk to me)

@eurytherm ♡ @vampkings ♡ @weelbur ♡ @wilburtheesoot ♡ @quackityskarl ♡ @wimblrscoot ♡ @technofarmer ♡ @wooteena ♡ @bloodforblood ♡ @smpsapnap ♡ @literallynotfound ♡ @hearty-an0n ♡ @enderanboo ♡ @springbonniecpu ♡ @pandascanpvp ♡ @tommylnnits ♡ @strawberrygogy ♡ @timedeo ♡ @nymika-arts ♡ @h-isforhome ♡ @eboykarl ♡ @joe-alkaysani ♡ @betwecouldmakesome ♡ @squirrelstone ♡ @maddieandchimney

#hehe idk how to tag this #ive spent SO long on this post im so glad its done #follow forever #eden.txt

102 notes · View notes

uwua3 · 3 years

Note

Hello! Sunflowers hold a really special meaning for me so when i read the "sunflower dreams" My heart was so happy!! I havent felt this happy in a long time since quarantine started so thank you for taking the time to write it! It really made my day. If i could request a kazunari x reader where they're both artists that would be amazing. Maybe the reader can be a famous anonymous art influencer? Its up to you! Again thank you so much for writing "sunflower dreams" 💜

i’m so happy i could make you smile ‧⁺◟( ᵒ̴̶̷̥́ ·̫ ᵒ̴̶̷̣̥̀ ) it’s messages like these that absolutely make my day! thank you so much for taking your time to even read it, i’m glad to know it touched your heart ♡ i hope you have a good rest of your day—please know all of a3! love you vvv much!!! ｀･ω･)9 i hope this makes your heart happy just like before! thank you, anon, for everything

summary: every time you fell in love, you made a new art piece

author’s note: please smile from this absolutely soft and endearing kazunari fluff! in times like these where negativity is all around us, it’s good to take a break and purposely give yourself happiness. i hope this is a light in your day and makes you experience all the goodness of love! ♡ — concept based on “to all the boys i’ve loved before”

word count: 3,389

music: i like me better – lauv

to everyone i’ve loved before.

🌻🎨 miyoshi kazunari

you created art every time you had a crush so intense, you didn’t know what else to do

no matter how big or small it was, or how long or short it lasted, love is love. even if it was a random stranger you’d never see again or someone you knew for a lifetime, love is love

therefore, there was no exact total. because even if you didn’t remember every single person you’ve made art for, you clearly remembered what it was like experiencing the euphoria of love. the phenomenon of your heart selflessly beating for someone else. the attack of getting hit by cupid’s arrow out of no where. the rush of emotions unlike any other

love was everywhere and you made sure to create something that was a memory of it. that was when you decided to practice art after being unable to recall a person’s face a moment too long

it was your form of a love letter. a picture spoke a thousand words you couldn’t write, and art was the perfect way to convey that. online for everyone to see were your love letters in art form: portraits of everyone you’ve loved

you fell in love again and again, a new art piece posted soon over the years of your life. under the username, to-everyone-ive-loved, a lifelong project was in the works for all of social media to see

unknown to the rest of the world, you were the artist behind the blog “to-everyone-ive-loved” who created portraits from memory

but, you didn’t mean to fall in love with another artist as well

all it took was one comment and you were theirs

it was one of your most recent posts, a finished piece on a stranger you saw. you found yourself in veludo way, the ideal street to find people you’d never forget. after witnessing a sudden street act, only one actor caught your eye that day

you didn’t know his name, but you didn’t need to. you were in love

you immediately rushed home without a second thought, the inspiration and creativity infectious after watching him perform. something about his energy was wildly entertaining and bizarre, like a modern pop song as a person. he was effortlessly trendy, popular, and charismatic just from the few minutes you saw him

the moment he stood up on that street corner like it was a stage, all eyes were on him and he knew it. as you sketched into the day, you remembered the small details clearly. dirty blonde hair with no dark roots in sight, glittering green eyes, wide welcoming smile. he had the face of an actor, that’s for sure

when you posted it right after finishing, you didn’t expect any major attention. on average, your posts got 100 likes or so. while it was an impressive feat, nothing could’ve prepared you for that one comment

kaz-PIKO: i’m in love with your art ♡

as your popularity and fame grew before your very eyes, you clicked on his profile and realized it was him. the actor you had seen earlier at veludo way

you didn’t know what happened, but all you knew was you couldn’t forget this one person, miyoshi kazunari, no matter how hard you tried

no matter where you went, you couldn’t draw anyone else except that boy named kazunari. after scrolling through his entire instablam account, you found out he was an actor for mankai company’s summer troupe. he was a star in his own right, with a stage presence like the spotlight was constantly on him and a heart of gold

this was the first time you ever got so caught up on someone that they didn’t leave your mind. hours became days, and days began becoming a week before you let yourself follow him back

everyone you had ever drawn had never recognized themselves before. it was all because a follower connected the visual similarities between your art and kazunari’s unique traits that kazunari knew you had seen him before

if only he wasn’t a social media influencer with followers reaching the hundreds of thousands. at least, his popularity attracted attention to your profile...

this was a problem, however. because if you couldn’t draw anyone else, what could you do? once again, you stalked kazunari’s blog once again like it was a habit

it was never really a rule to make one love letter per person, but you never had wanted to make another for the same person. until, now

video after video. picture after picture. story after story. you could see kazunari’s face even when you closed your eyes. what about him made you daydream about him constantly? was it his charming voice that could make anyone stop and stare? his intricate piercings that were different every day? his ability to make you feel at home? whatever it was (or maybe it was an accumulation of everything and more), you had to draw kazunari again

when you posted it, you typically didn’t add more to the caption than the date and time. except this time, you felt like all your rules were being broken over someone who had no idea who you were

to-everyone-ive-loved-before: XX/XX/20 (3:33 A.M.) — social butterfly

you watched it upload. it was a piece you had never done before. glowing butterflies of all colors surrounded the center of the masterpiece, a smiling kazunari

hopefully, this would solve whatever feelings you were having and the world would go back to normal. you’d move on, fall in love with someone else, and repeat

it didn’t work, because some time later, you woke up to a comment that made you feel the butterflies in your stomach

kaz-PIKO: like a butterfly, i’ll fly to you, wherever you are~ ☆

and for some reason, you wanted kazunari to find you

you had never felt so motivated to draw before. however, your muse was the same. a beautiful boy named miyoshi kazunari who was slowly capturing your heart without even knowing it. you watched the pages in your sketchbook lessen and lessen. the corners of assignments and napkins and anything in between was covered in doodles. if there was a writing instrument in your hand, something related to kazunari would come out of it

it was a fascination. a fixiation, even. you had only seen one performance before falling in love. was it because kazunari responded that it made you feel like you had a chance?

you wouldn’t admit it, but it was becoming embarrassing with how much you were staring at the few unread messages from kazunari in your dm box. they came in right after you had followed him back, and more arrived when you posted the “social butterfly” piece

what was stopping you from talking to your muse? you knew the answer without thinking: what if these feelings were real?

obsessions and crushes come and go, but... love, love stayed. there wasn’t any possibility you could love someone from afar without knowing anything about them, right?

but, then again... you did know some things about kazunari. you knew kazunari was the best actor of all time, with expressions and gestures the equivalent of art. kazunari was art—in every single way possible. everything about him made you want to draw and draw and draw

you only drew kazunari for a certain time, no matter which stranger crossed your path. people you knew you would’ve sketched simply became passer-bys, and it was all because of kazunari’s sunny smile that you were in love. or, what you thought was love

the more you thought about kazunari’s unread dms, the more you wondered what this was. why did kazunari make you so happy? was this truly the first time you were experiencing... a crush?!

for the first time since that street act, you found yourself in veludo way. while half of you was hoping you’d randomly bump into summer troupe’s moodmaker, the other half was petrified about how kazunari was a real person. a very much popular, recognizable person

it was the weekend, and the burden of university projects was telling you to go back and focus. yet, with a sketchbook in one hand and a pencil tucked behind your ear, you were very much prepared to draw to your heart’s content

as you tried to flip to a clean page, you heard something that made your heart flutter. despite the noise and busy atmosphere of veludo, a distinct laugh was audible above the crowd. when you looked up, your eyes barely registered a deep blue jacket before walking straight into the person

you nearly tumbled to the ground before two hands steadied you, a surprised “whoa!” leaving their mouth before being followed by a gentle laugh. the usual embarrassment didn’t set in until you went to go thank the person, only to stop

oh my god. you had just bumped into miyoshi kazunari, your muse for the past month or so

kazunari grinned, even though it faltered slightly at your wide-eyed expression and awkward silence. he didn’t seem to mind as he adjusted his black top hat, pocketing his phone and confidently meeting your gaze

“i’m so sorry~! i hope you’re okay, i’m kazunari!” kazunari introduced and you realized he didn’t know you were behind to-everyone-ive-loved-before. you quickly adjusted yourself, pretending as if this wasn’t the highlight of your entire week

when you introduced yourself, kazunari’s eyes sparkled with interest as he easily led you into conversation. despite being a bit of a socially awkward artist who preferred being alone over anything else, kazunari was... comfortable. you didn’t feel self-conscious of how you acted, because he readily accepted how you were with a smile

was he like this was everyone or... did he find you to be a work of art, too?

standing off to the side, you finally noticed several members of mankai were advertising their latest play. bright, aesthetically pleasing flyers were being handed out to everyone walking by, and you seemed to look a moment too long before kazunari followed your gaze and suddenly snapped his fingers

“oh! are you interested in theatre?” you really weren’t, but you nodded anyways just to see kazunari’s excitement. he pardoned himself for a moment just to snatch a flyer, returning to show it off with a proud smile

“please come to mankai company’s summer performance!” kazunari’s smile sparkled and before he looked around to see if anyone was watching, he winked. kazunari covered the side of his face that was facing his troupe members, pretending as if you two were sharing some big secret

“plus, i’ll be there. if you come, i’ll make sure to do my very best~” kazunari bargained, even though you already knew he was already planning on wowing the audience with his charisma. you took in his genuine want to impress you and the butterflies came back

“i’ll come.” you agreed without even checking the date or reading anything. now all of you just wanted more & more opportunities as the person kazunari was surprisingly interested in, not as the artist who was basically in love with him

agreeing right away was worth it when kazunari shot you a grateful, blinding smile in return. you stumbled over your words with how taken back you were, but asked anyways, “do you like flowers?”

kazunari’s eyes softened for a moment, his usual energy suddenly gone before returning. he seemed genuinely moved by your question, and you wondered how many flowers it’d take to see him smile again like that

“i do, especially if they’re from you.”

“what kind?”

someone called kazunari’s name, insisting they were going to be late for practice. kazunari shouted back an agreement by telling them to go ahead first, before putting all his attention on you once again

“hibiscus.” meaning delicate beauty

before kazunari could ask for your socials, with his hand already reaching for his phone, you cut him off, hoping your voice wasn’t off

“next week. 7 P.M., mankai theatre. i’ll be there, front row.” you promised and took off, rushing off with a wave as kazunari stared after you for a second before waving back enthusiastically

as you left, kazunari was about to leave before he noticed something on the ground. it was a plain sketchbook, unassuming at first but it was nearly bursting at the binding with how many pages there were

when kazunari picked it up, he was about to flip to the first page before mankai called his name again, impatient this time. kazunari held onto the book and sent one last glance towards your direction before disappearing, hurrying to make sure the director wouldn’t penalize him for being the reason everyone was late

when you arrived home, you instinctually reached for the pencil behind your ear. at the same time, you put your hand in your bag, attempting to feel the familiar edges of your sketchbook

then, after turning your bag inside out and finding nothing, you collapsed onto your desk chair with shock and disbelief

you lost your sketchbook in veludo way the moment you met kazunari. what if he had it?

you drew another piece and stared at your screen, wondering if you should post it. it was kazunari once again with a yellow hibiscus flower behind his ear, the same gentle smile you couldn’t perfectly capture gracing his lips

you typed the caption and backspaced before settling on something that only you and him would know

to-everyone-ive-loved-before: XX/XX/20 (8:01 P.M.) — delicate beauty

you hesitated before deleting the post a second after. maybe, you’d keep some artwork to yourself

kazunari had the sketchbook open next to his bedside, his phone in his hands and your profile open. he could recognize your art style a mile away, and the moment he saw the first sketch after practice, he couldn’t believe it

did this explain why he felt such a natural attraction to you? when you bumped into him, kazunari swore he could see the sparks flying. you made him feel like he was falling in love and you only proved him right when you two talked earlier. he wanted to know everything about you, he wanted to see you again

was this what love at first sight felt like? kazunari giddily typed a message over and over again, the unread messages of his filling his screen

kaz-PIKO: heya!! ★>d(,,･ε´-,,)⌒☆ just wanted to say i LOVE your art fr!!! we should totes collab, you know???

kaz-PIKO: thanks for drawing me btw :0 does this mean you live near veludo? let’s meet up!!!

kaz-PIKO: ,,, i don’t usually say this but, that social butterfly piece was breathtaking. you must really like me, huh? (･ω<)☆ jk haha

kaz-PIKO: no but really, it’s beautiful. thank you, honestly. it made my day, you make me happy ♡

kaz-PIKO: you must be really beautiful, too. i would want to draw you as well. lmk if ur up for that haha

kazunari read back his previous messages, all of them delivered but unopened. he realized how... how open he already was with the anonymous faceless artist, despite never interacting with them

now that he knew what you looked like, it only reassured his intuition that he was rightfully head over heels for you

kazunari typed something before deleting it, closing out of instablam and throwing his phone somewhere on his bed

kaz-PIKO: i was right, you are beautiful. i may have fallen in love, too

some things were better left unsaid. after all, you two had until next week to figure everything out

for the rest of the week, all you and kazunari did were think about the other person. a small part of you was afraid kazunari wasn’t the dream boy you imagined, but he was much more. you noticed he started posting more often and turned his notifications, wanting to be one of the first to see his practice videos and university selfies

you didn’t post any of the art you made of kazunari, making it the longest you hadn’t posted ever. kazunari couldn’t help but refresh your account every now and then, hoping he’d see his face again, as selfish as it was. kazunari wouldn’t know how’d he feel if he saw someone else had your heart

the longer time went on, the more you were certain. every fascination you had with someone was temporary, and you remembered the feeling rather than the person. but, with kazunari, you liked him for who he was. everything kazunari made you feel was new and exciting, but even when that went away, you still liked him

kazunari was your first crush, for real

kazunari liked making people like him. so, your online confession through art wasn’t exactly a surprise. but, yours was different. it was earnest, honest, and everything he didn’t know he was needing

kazunari looked through your sketchbook again and again, tracing over the notes you wrote in the margins and admiring your skill

kazunari liked you, and he was certain he would’ve still liked you even if you weren’t to-everyone-ive-loved-before

when showtime arrived, kazunari was oddly nervous. peeking from behind the red curtain, kazunari could already see you were one of the first sitting front row, just like you said. he had practiced his lines a thousand times and summer was fully prepared, why was he nervous?

before he went on, kazunari ignored the urgency of the mankai staff and quickly texted a message to your profile, hoping you’d at least see the notification this time

kaz-PIKO: i like you, too

(when you felt your phone buzz, you quickly silenced it)

the show moved you to a standing ovation, just like everyone else in the audience. as summer walked out to bow and express their gratitude, you watched kazunari’s eyes search for yours as he tilted his head towards backstage. you nodded, knowing you’d do anything to see this kazunari. actor kazunari, who was on cloud 9 with his performance and glowing from praise

you wanted to see, to experience, to draw, all versions of kazunari

after the applause, you looked around backstage before feeling a hand on your arm, the feeling reminiscent of the first time you bumped into kazunari

“you came.” kazunari breathlessly stated, as if he was surprised. before he could say anything else, you presented him with a bouquet of hibiscus flowers. the same shade of yellow you drew him with

“of course, i wanted to see you again.” you honestly admitted, knowing it made you flustered. kazunari carefully took the flowers before grinning, gently placing then beneath his chin. he looked like a vision, you wish you could’ve asked him to stand still so you could capture this moment forever

“i wanted to see you, too.” kazunari softly said, all the energy of being on stage gone. it was tranquil and peaceful, like you two were the only people in the entire theatre

kazunari took a moment to admire you before realizing something, taking something from behind him and presenting it to you. it was your sketchbook on the bottom, but a smaller version was on top of it, signed in silver sharpie. kazunari’s signature was glittering like his eyes as you took it

“next time, let’s draw together.”

kazunari’s sketchbook was filled with you. anything from small doodles to encouraging messages was found inside, with tens of post-it notes of just thoughts about you. kazunari’s art was colorful and extremely out of the box compared to his usual traditional style. it made you smile

kazunari watched you flip through it, already knowing this was the greatest act of love he could’ve declared this early on. he anticipated for you to reach the end

when you landed on the last page, you saw a note

do you want go on a date with me?

“next time, respond to my dms! that way i don’t have to write everything~!” kazunari teased and you two shared a laugh, knowing everything was going to be okay

“yes.”

“yes...?”

“yes, i’ll respond to your dms. and yes, i’ll go on a date with you.”

eventually, you ended up closing your blog for good. your last post was a picture of you and kazunari, with one caption

to-everyone-ive-loved-before: XX/XX/20 (3:33 P.M.) — to the one boy i love now, i love you

kaz-PIKO: i love you, too ♡

#miyoshi kazunari #kazunari miyoshi #a3! act! addict! actors!#a3!#act! addict! actors!#a3! actor training game #a3! headcanons #act! addict! actors! headcanons #mankai a3!#mankai company #a3! x reader #a3 x reader #kazunari x reader #a3! kazunari #a3 kazunari

109 notes · View notes