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imaginesmai · 7 months

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Right around the corner (3) - Azriel

LISTEN I CAN EXPLAIN if you've been here for a while now, you can expect this part. If not, may I present myself - hi, I'm Mai and I'm an angst queen bitch. Fourth part already on the way, don't worry!

(1), (2), (3), (4), (5)

Plot: the turth comes out, but in a way Azriel didn't expect.

Warnings: prepare tissues.

Azriel had taken his time to process the words, and in the meanwhile, he had received so many notes from his family that he had his hands full of small paper balls.

There were notes from Feyre updating him of the screaming match between Cassian and Rhysand, long texts from Mor promising him the house was a safe place for you and that he better hurry to bring you out. Even Amren had written a brief ‘I knew it, boy’ that had him more worried than before.

It wasn’t as if he didn’t want you to meet them. He loved his family like nothing else, and knew they would only be supportive and kind to his new status. Him being mated or not didn’t change the way they saw him, but part of him – the part that had felt rejection from his mother and his blood-family, was scared.

Azriel ended up sitting in the kitchen counter in front of you with a frown and a growing headache. Even though it was late and you had had a long day, you instantly noticed his mood.

“What’s wrong?”

It wasn’t unusual for Azriel to go quiet in your presence. You had learned by then that it didn’t mean you did something wrong. Most of the times, it was his insecurities popping up randomly in his mind, the troubles of the day dragging him away from you.

And through the years, you had learned that there was nothing else to do but to stay close to him and remind him that he was there. Right with you, and that you loved him.

Still, as you stared at him that night, you noticed it wasn’t the usual frown. He snuck glances at you and moved from the couch, where he was banned, to the kitchen. You left the bowl aside and stood in front of him, one arm extended so he could hold your hand.

“How do you know Feyre?” he asked, not taking your hand.

“Feyre as… the high lady?”

“Yeah. You greeted her the other day. You two know each other?”

“Guess so. She has her art study right in front of my bakery, haven’t you noticed?” you answered, not understanding the nature of the question. “When she moved in, I baked her a welcome to the neighborhood pie and she has actually painted two of the pictures I hang on the wall”

“Feyre painted pictures for you?” Azriel raised an eyebrow. “Are you two friends?”

“Well, not friends per say, but we know each other. That’s what usually happens when you work in front of someone else’s work” you shrugged, you open hand still empty. “Why?”

“I didn’t know you knew her”

“Should you know I know her? For any specific reason?”

“It would have been nice to know you know my high lady. My brother’s mate”

“Now you know. What’s with all this ‘you know I know’? Why does it matter?”

You didn’t understand why but there was an annoyed edge on his voice that you didn’t like. As a morning person, you usually went to bed early, and any minute past midnight was a minute you were supposed to be asleep. No matter how nice it was to spend time with Azriel and how good he had made you feel an hour ago, now you were annoyed.

The male stared at you, still not answering your silent call for his hand. One of his many shadows crossed the table and jumped at the chance of tangling between your fingers. That would have been enough to make you laugh any other day.

That night, you just stared at each other.

“Az, why are you so – “

“Because you should have told me, Y/N” he cut you off. “You know how important my family is to me, and I think it’s fair to ask that if you know any of them you should tell me. So I’m prepared for this”

“What’s this exactly? Late night discoveries about my neighbors?”

Azriel was quiet for a moment, frustration clear in his features. It was a stupid argument over a stupid situation, and Azriel being on his underwear and you only on his t-shirt without panties didn’t make it any less stupid. You rarely argued, and when you did, it was you who had the pointless argument and Azriel the calm one.

His shadows moved behind the couch and dumped in front of you a bunch of papers. They were all wrinkled and Azriel didn’t have time to hide them or think about how to approach the situation before a new one popped out of thin air. It landed next to your open hand, his shadow catching it and unfolding the content.

Does she eat cereal straight from the box? Is it why you’re hiding her?

You didn’t need to think hard to know it was talking about you, and who the note belonged to. In the past, Rhysand had sent notes to Azriel while you were having a shower together, in bed together, and one had even appeared inside your oven while he was helping you around.

“Feyre told them about you” Azriel explained, having read the note upside down. “And because I didn’t know you knew her, now they are deeply offended and want to meet you”

It took you a while to make sense to his words, because you couldn’t find the problem past you not telling him about Feyre. Quickly, you read some of the notes where Cassian threatened Azriel and Rhysand demanded his presence. They were friendly notes, no harm in them. Still, you couldn’t understand the utter sadness until you realized the meaning behind his annoyance.

Finally, you pulled your hand back to your side, not with little resistance from the shadow. You must have opened the bond channel because Azriel frowned, hit with sadness instead of the usual love.

The first note, where Rhysand explained that Feyre had told him, was what brought it all together.

“You haven’t told them you have a mate”

It occurred to you that you had believed it done with no proofs. You didn’t mind Azriel being at your house, living in your apartment. You didn’t mind having separate Starfall and lives. You didn’t mind either when he left for a family dinner and kissed you goodbye, because you understood his need of privacy, of having something that was just his.

What you didn’t understand until that moment that he hadn’t even told them you existed. And through all the reasons that ran to your mind at his silence, you couldn’t pick just one.

“It’s not that they don’t know me. They don’t know you’re mated”

“You agreed when I said I need to take things slowly. That I needed time” he blurted out suddenly, your sadness making space for his annoyance. “The bond was a surprise for me. I didn’t want to rush things”

“Azriel it’s been six years. Six! It’s not a casual fling or a one-night stand” you tried to voice your hurt, your sadness. “It’s not the same not meeting them that being a secret”

“It’s not like I keep you a secret. They haven’t asked and I haven’t – “

“Because you haven’t told them! What – How do you explain the days you spend here? And the… I – Azriel, we’ve been dating for six years and they haven’t asked?”

“They’re used to me sneaking around”

“For months?” you chuckled. “We were locked here for months after we mated. How did you explain that?”

His words were background noise because, above his absences, there was something you realized they should have noticed. Something anyone noticed from mated pairs as soon as they left the house. White noise filled your ears as he tried to excuse himself by talking about missions.

About your safety, about the worry of something happening to you if they discovered you were his mate.

Azriel blurred in front of you as realization hit you and tears filled your eyes. You could barely hold it together as you spoke.

“You’ve been hiding the mating bond” your breath hitched, because if there was something more important than your bakery, it was your bond. “They should have smelt it. But you’ve been hiding it”

“I didn’t hide it, please, don’t say it like that” his voice broke at the end, willing you to listen to him.

“Right. Because you can’t hide the bond from them unless you don’t accept it” you saw the moment your words hit him, the guilt in the way his shadows almost clouded your vision and his wings flared. “You didn’t accept the bond”

Azriel didn’t answer and, worse than any other betrayal or pain, it broke your heart. You remembered offering him the lemon pie, him tearing up and eating. Accepting the bond was an individual decision, one he should have made years ago – just like you did.

You still shared it; you still were mates. The only difference was that, while you proudly loved him and adored each part of his body and soul, he had rejected your smell on him, your imprint on his own.

An invisible hand cut off your air supply and your breath hitched. You covered your mouth with your hand and muffled the sob, but he felt the exact moment your heart broke. Even if he didn’t show it to the world, he could still feel you. Your feelings, your essence. His own eyes teared up and now he extended his hand forward.

A silent invitation, the same you had given him so many times when he was in need of comfort, of love.

But that time, you didn’t reach forward nor acknowledge the shadows that tried to pull you closer to him.

“Get out”

“Darling”

“Get out” you pointed a shaky finger towards the door.

“Y/N, please. It’s not what you’re thinking” he tried to explain, his voice broken by his sorrow. “I accepted the bond. I just – “

“Get the fuck out now!”

The bowl that you had been filling with lettuce, salmon and other vegetables flew from the desk to where he was standing. His shadows, by their own consciousness or his master’s, didn’t stop it as it crashed against his chest. It spilled all over his naked chest, and before he could clean it, there was another tray with grilled pork on your hand.

Azriel’s last look to you was of pure despair and sorrow. He winnowed away before the second tray could hit him, leaving you with his shadows already cleaning up the mess.

As soon as he was out of sight, you fell down to your knees and sobbed.

He didn’t have a plan, and when he winnowed away, the last thing on his mind was the sound of your heart breaking. There was no way he would go to his house and face his family, not when he wasn’t even sure what had happened in your apartment. Couldn’t start to comprehend the pain he had caused you and how much he hated himself for it.

So, without planning to, he ended up in the cabin.

The old wooden walls and ceiling greeted him, different from the ones he remembered from his past. Feyre had added drawings everywhere, there were clothes scattered around, and food that was still edible.

No matter how familiar the sight was, it offered him no comfort.

Azriel dragged his wings through the floor and sat on the couch. Propping his elbows on his knees, he hid his face as the first tear rolled down. Followed by many more.

He replayed your hurt voice once more, your face. It hadn’t been his intention to reject the bond, not really. But he hadn’t run away from it.

It took him two weeks of uncertainty to know that he hadn’t taken it the way you had. While you radiated with his scent, people didn’t ask him. He walked past Cassian during training and his friend just teased him for being disappeared for a month. Rhysand commented about having to report to him every now and then, and Amren didn’t even acknowledge his presence.

That was how he discovered that he had to accept his part of the mating process. He had to be proud, to want it, in order to complete it.

But you had been so happy, so full of joy and love, that Azriel had feared that telling you about it would make you sad. Eventually, he had learned how he should have done it – but at that moment, he didn’t know. Besides, he could still sneak whenever he wanted to without explanations. So he hadn’t said anything.

The first year rolled by, and he spent a good amount of days panicking about how to deal with the situation. The second year passed and you didn’t ask about it, neither did his family. By the fourth year, he had almost forgotten about it.

Azriel’s loud sob broke the silence of the cabin. His chest contracted and his body shock. It was different from any type of suffering, of pain, he had ever felt. He could still feel the echo of your own through the bond, could hear your cries in the distance.

In the lonely cabin, under the moon light, the shadowsinger sobbed and cried until his voice was raw. He was angry at himself, at his past and his traumas, even angry at you. Because now that he knew what it felt to be complete, to be happy and safe in someone’s love, he couldn’t bear the thought of not having it.

His body gravitated to the side and he curled himself in a ball, still in his underwear. It reminded him of when he was a kid and would try to hide himself in the dark cell, cowering in his fear and desperation.

As if he was a kid all over again, Azriel let his wings cover his body and cried. Cried until he couldn’t remember his name, until he was begging the Cauldron to turn back time and let him accept the bond. Carry you on his arm around Velaris and don’t let the fear take control of his life.

He felt like punching a hole through the wall. Like flying thousand feet up and letting go in free fall. Maybe get into a bar fight and let everything out. But his body was anchored to that couch, to that pain. Azriel pressed his closed fists into his chest, trying to relief some of the pressure.

While he wondered if that was what having his heart ripped from his chest fell, he forgot to keep his mental shields up.

Letting Rhysand in.

The house of wind had been chaos for a few hours.

Rhysand had tried to manage the situation by himself, wide awake in bed while processing Feyre’s words. He willed himself to sleep, to rest and leave the pondering for the morning. But when he tried to close his eyes, he could see Azriel covered in blood and killing an entire camp because an illegal wing clipping. He could notice the faint, new smell in the house that he hadn’t noticed.

If he had his eyes open, he couldn’t help but look at Nyx’s new toy.

So, Rhysand had woken up Cassian, after Azriel hadn’t answered his notes. And Cassian had been mad. Angry, furious, raging. The general had talked nonsense about berries for a while and then he begged Rhysand to wake up Feyre and find Azriel to interrogate them.

And, who was the high lord to deny a late-night gossiping session?

Feyre had been mad but she had told them that Azriel had a mate that worked in front of her art studio, in a bakery. That you were nice and cheerful, that you had been mated for six years.

That was when Cassian lost it and woke up the whole house.

Now, all the members of the inner circle had gathered in the council room with their pajamas on.

“Maybe it’s not true. Feyre, you might have had imagined it”

“Are you calling me a liar?” Feyre raised her eyebrows at Cassian.

“I’m just saying he would have told me! We’re brothers. And we don’t keep secrets in this house. Never.”

“You don’t keep secrets” Amren cut him off, not looking at him. “Your bean brain is too simple to keep any type of secrets from us, but that doesn’t mean all of us are exhibitionist”

“I’m not – “

“You are an exhibitionist. You announce everything, Cas. Even a fart” Mor corrected him before he could defend himself.

“Sorry for being kind enough to not keep secrets from my family” he frowned, turning to look at Rhys. “You keep secrets from me?”

“I don’t keep secrets from you” Rhys assured him, half a smile.

“He threw the sword you gifted Nyx for his birth and told you Bryaxis took it so you wouldn’t look for it”

Feyre looked at her mate with a raised eyebrow, daring him to say anything else. With a wide-awake Nyx in her arms, she looked at threatening as the Hybern army. She had yet to talk to him privately, but Rhysand knew he was up for a long talk. So he bit his lip and turned to Cassian. Who, of course, looked completely broken and defeated.

The rest of the group was silent, barely keeping their smiles to themselves. Even Nesta, who had a hand on his shoulder, was looking at Feyre with approval. Cassian stared at Rhysand for a long second before he talked.

“It was a nice sword”

“For a teenager, maybe. For a baby, not” Feyre answered again. “Weren’t you just talking about Azriel’s betrayal and secrets?”

“I, for one, knew he was hiding something” Amren commented for the third time. “Just saying I noticed. And you didn’t”

“Not all of us are creeps that stare and don’t talk. We have social lives to take care of” Mor said.

“Some of you do talk. Maybe too much”

Rhysand tuned out Amren and Mor argument when he felt a crack through Azriel’s mental barriers. He had been tugging at them softly to know where his brother was. Feyre had talked him out of the idea of barging in uninvited and demanding answers – at least, he had talked Amren and Mor out of it. Rhysand and Cassian were still unconvinced.

That was why he had kept a talon poking at his mental barriers since the argument started, thinking it wouldn’t be successful.

But then, Azriel opened it unconsciously and Rhysand brought a hand up to his chest.

Everyone fell quiet as the high lord scrunched his eyebrows and pressed his lips together, not ready for the wave of emotions and pain Azriel was feeling at the moment.

Feyre’s hand was instantly on him, Nyx looking up to his father with a pout that would surely turn into a crying session soon. Before the baby could start crying or any of his friends could ask him about it, Rhysand accepted Feyre’s help and got up from his chair.

“He’s at the cabin” he announced, already summoning his darkness to swallow Cassian and him there. “We’ll keep you updated”

Nyx’s loud cry was the last thing they heard as they winnowed away. And the first one they heard from the cabin, was Azriel’s broken one.

Want to read more? Check out my side blog @imaginesmaimasterlists, where I keep all the masterlists! Feedback is always appreciated

Right around the corner taglist:

@lesliemurillo @impossibelle @polli05927 @florencemtrash @going-through-shit @minakay @setayeshmohseni @torchbearerkyle @esposadomd @amysangel @kennedy-brooke @originalcrusadetrash @luvmoo @historygeekqueen @marriedtolike18fictionalmen @wallacewillow0773638 @tothestarsandwhateverend @kristalhi @knmendiola @nikt-wazny-y

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fuckmeyer · 9 months

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Jasper as a character is so interesting because he ends up a Confederate because he can't actually empathise with the slaves and because he simply accepts cruelty around him, and then when he becomes a vampire he literally can't ignore others suffering because it hurts him, but even decades after he becomes a Vegetarian he still can't get a hang of it partially because he still can't see humans as *people*. Idk there's smth to be said about him becoming a vampire because of his own cruelty and then being eternally in horrific pain because of said cruelty that fucks.

Jasper's whole life is a curse & i love to see it

here we have a Confederate supposedly so empathetic that he acquired a "gift"... yet not so empathetic as to recognize he was fighting for the enslavement of an entire race. despite seeing the consequences of slavery literally every day. now, the man who spent his last human days denying the humanity in others is forced to spend his immortal life being slapped in the face with their emotions. forever. hueeueueueu-

yeah, i would call that "gift" a curse, actually.

if Twilight weren't a horror story, we might see a discussion between Jasper/Bella about how immortality forces you to confront the darker side of your nature (e.g. "there will come a day when the societal beliefs imbued unto you leaves you standing on the wrong side of history"), & Jasper's journey with finding love & humanity. OR, y'know, he could've just had ONE (1) line where he says "yeah i'm not proud of my service." simply, if Twilight weren't a horror, Jasper could see the error of his ways & change for the better.

HOWEVER. Twilight vampires are "mentally frozen" when they turn, so Jasper is likely still a racist who does not regret his service. no matter how many times he is confronted with his cruelty, he won't change. meaning whatever life he chooses, his gift dooms him.

wow! eternal curse!

we see evidence of this frozen mental state in his decision to go vegetarian. he doesn't switch bc he feels bad about killing humans:

"I could feel everything my prey was feeling. And I lived their emotions as I killed them. [...] You've experienced the way I can manipulate the emotions around myself, Bella, but I wonder if you realize how the feelings in a room affect me." (Eclipse, Ch 13)

note the dehumanizing term "prey" & the focus on himself. he laments not that the human lives he's taking have value but that their dying moments harsh his vibe.

the irony! trapped as an empath while never possessing the ability to be an empath! CURSE CURSE C-

herein lies a bigger, juicier curse: Jasper is, himself, (hot take) enslaved in the sense that he will never know freedom, philosophically speaking, due to the choices he made in life. the series tries to paint him as a master tactician & competent leader; fanon often paints him as a free-thinking amoral black sheep. in reality, he simply obeys the commands of higher authorities & abides by their worldview regardless of how toxic it is to himself or others.

in the beginning, he had María.

he entered the Southern Vampire Wars not by his own volition but stayed because he was content not having a choice. however one feels about María, the fact of the matter is 1) as a newborn he was stronger, bigger, & faster than her & could have run away or overpowered her, 2) had the "gift" to identify emotions & could KNOW when/if she was malicious or manipulating him, & 3) could have escaped by influencing her emotions to make her disinterested in him. at any time in the 100 years they were together, he could have left. he talks about never knowing a life outside the war & discovering "options I'd never dreamed I had." ok???? run 100 miles in any direction & you would have seen a life outside of war. BOI-

instead, he took comfort in being submissive & adopting someone else's ideology. not only did it remind him of his past, but it meant he had no need to reflect on his actions or beliefs. he prefers others dictate his worldview & order him around even if it means being unhappy. he only left because he was going to be assassinated, & even then, it wasn't until someone else told him another life was possible that he "realized" another life was possible.

notably, the period where he's most free— living with Peter & Charlotte— is his rock-bottom where "the depression got worse." but, again, not because he realized the value of human life: "I was so wearied by killing [...] even mere humans."

then he meets Alice.

Alice, who has visions of being vegetarian & converts him so they can live with the Cullens. Alice, who dictates how her family should live their lives to the point where she manipulates them. Alice, who goes so far as to dress the Cullens, who orders Jasper to wait in the car while she & Bella go shopping, who Jasper refers to as "truly [...] one frightening little monster" because for all his experience she can still beat him in combat.

his eternal soulmate is authority.

despite being unhappy with his vegetarian life, as it makes him feel weak & coddled & a liability to everyone around him, he follows the lifestyle because Alice tells him to.

then there's the Volturi, another authoritative body. "We owe the Volturi for our present way of life," says acclaimed bootlicker Jasper Hale, who in the same moment shudders at the atrocities they committed, yet strangely sees no other way for a governing body to keep the peace... so... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

but, since Carlisle outranks the Volturi as an authoritative figure in that he more closely aligns with Jasper's new worldview, Jasper sees no problem deposing the vampiric governing body if it means his sister-in-law of like 2 months can keep her demonic spawn. so i guess we don't really owe the Volturi that much

to his credit, we see glimmers of him questioning his leaders: 1) his decision to leave Maria, 2) his considering switching diets to defeat Victoria, & 3) going against the Volturi. but, again, these decisions are all just a result of his self-preservation & submitting to the higher authority du jour.

in the end, he has the perfect storm of conditions that would allow him to escape the prison he's created, to find freedom & to love humanity unconditionally... but he won't. Jasper's ultimate curse is that regardless of whether he realizes the enslavement of his own self, he will never leave his cage because it's cozy & easy & allows him to never think for himself.

AAAANYWAY Jasper's life sucks & he's trapped in an eternal prison of his own making. lol

#twilight #twilight renaissance #the twilight saga #jasper hale #twilight meta #twilight headcanon #you're right there really is something to be said about jasper the shitfuck confederate ending up in this situation!!!#like it would be tragic if it wasn't so comedic and if he didn't display a modicum of self-awareness!!!!#you make a great point about how he accepts cruelty his whole life and even when he's unable to ignore it he just is forced to accept it fo #ever #the absolute *chefs kiss* curse. smeyer coudlnt have written a better curse if she tried #in fact i do believe ALL the cullen gifts are actually curses in their own way #and it's so delicious to think about it that way #god i just love thinking about twilight as a horror #you're right riote- It Fucks #thanks for sending this my way!#cheers~

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codfanficedits · 6 months

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Rituals.

Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x fem!Reader

Summary: A little ritual before a mission.

Wordcount: 1363| Rating: M (18+ only!)

Warnings: Angst with no comfort <3

A/N: I completed one deadline and rewarded myself with a little writing break.

Rituals.

Life was full of them, little rituals to make life better. From tapping on a can before you could drink, to making sure you’ve taken a picture of your straightener to make sure that you did indeed turned it off.

Simon had to go on a mission, and he would be gone for a while. You hum as you hear the shower turn off, and you count down the minutes until the door from the bathroom swings open. You’re patient, and your patience gets rewarded. No matter how often you’ve seen him in his uniform, he still looks divine to you.

His eyes and eyelids are covered in his black face paint, as he sits down on the bed, legs parted so you can stand in between them, a meaningful moment of eye contact before he closes those beautiful brown eyes. He needs this little ritual. He knows every meeting might as well be the last one.

You are familiar with the loss that comes with the profession. It is the main reason why you traded your position in the field for a position behind a desk in the army. You had begged him to do the same, but it was a discussion you lost and you learned that he belonged on the field. That didn't mean that you weren’t worried every time he had to leave. In their years together they had to bury their friends, their coworkers.

So you cherish these little moments, as your soft lips kissed his eyelids, with soft, tender kisses. Your hair tickling his arm as you leaned towards him, your eyes closing too while you painted his eyelids with your kisses.

He gazes at you, his brown eyes drinking in your soft beauty. It still surprises him how a girl like you ended up with the likes of him. He can't see past all the scars and the tattoos. He is certain you could have done better. You are so gentle and sweet, yet he is a walking nightmare.

The corner of his mouth twitches upwards in a rueful half-smile. This was the last time he would see you for some time. It had become a common ritual, this ritual of kisses and embraces. And he didn't want to break it.

You see the half-smile, and you understand the hidden meaning behind it. So your soft lips finds the corner of his mouth, pressing soft kisses on the soft skin. Your hands rest on his waist, holding him in place while you assault his face with your love.

He leans into your embrace, allowing your kisses to claim every inch of his face. A low grunt escapes the back of his throat, his expression softening as his face is showered with affection. He is not sure what to do with such soft contact and so he doesn't know how to respond. So he simply accepts it. His gloved hand reaches out and gently grasps your chin, slowly caressing your skin as he presses you closer to him. When you first got together you had to force him to accept your love, and it took a little while before he accepted it. And even years later he still doesn't know how to respond, so he just accepts it, he accepts you.

You knows you are running out of time, so you pull back, time for the second part of your little ritual. A little mirror and a red lipstick are whipped out and you stain him with your red lips, marks about to be hidden under the balaclava and the mask. You kiss his forehead, his cheeks and finally his lips.

"Come home to me, yeah?" You murmur. His face is a sight to behold. The mixture of black paint and red lipstick is a rather amusing one, but nonetheless it looks quite good on him. There is a subtle blush on his cheeks and he finds himself smiling without even thinking about it.

"There's no way I won't come back for you," He whispers, pressing his cheek against yours. Your cheek stains with the black paint and the red lipstick, covering but you don’t mind. It is a reminder of his love. "And there's no way I won't do what is necessary either."

He lets out a quiet chuckle. "Promise me that you won't drive yourself crazy worrying about me."

"Don't make me promise something I can't keep." You respond. "You know I always worry about you."

"Then I'll worry about you too," is his response, his hands reaching up to grasp your shoulders before he gives you one last kiss before you help him with the balaclava and mask. As the moment between you two comes to an end, and the soldier persona kicks in. He grins beneath the mask. It's the only thing he can manage as Ghost, otherwise Simon might pop out.

"I love you," he whispers, his voice muffled by the mask. It's a quick and silent whisper, his words meant for you and you alone.

You know he is no longer your Simon, right now he is Ghost. "I love you too." You whisper, as you use the back of your hand to wipe away the red lipstick on your lips, you know he hates it when you stain his mask.

You have to stand on your toes as he stands up, but you take his face in your hands and pressed a kiss on his mask. "Please keep my Simon safe and bring him back." You whispered, before you let him go. The mask doesn't conceal the softness of his smile. It's a smile only you will get to see. But right now it is hidden under the mask.

"I will return to you." Simon promises, "I will definitely return to you. But I also need you to promise me something."

His fingers press softly against your chin, turning you to face him once more.

"You must take care of yourself and wait for me no matter what. So please do that for me." Your eyes meet again and you do the smiling for the both of you.

"I'll always wait for you." You whisper. "I'll take care of myself and I wait for you."

"Please do. Please, please do. I don't want to return to an empty home. And I also don't want to return and see you having gone crazy. Please, don't worry yourself too much." There's a certain intensity to his whispers.

"Promise me you'll wait and take care of yourself. Promise me, don't make me beg."

It is unlike him to be so persistent about this, but you’re not complaining, it is nice to see this softer side of him while he is all masked up.

“I promise.” You say, holding your hand over your heart. “I promise you won’t come home to an empty house, and I promise you I won’t go crazy.”

It was all he needed to hear, and he squeezes your behind before he takes your hand. Three squeezes before he turns around to leave.

“I’ll wait!” You yell as you watch him leave your shared quarters. “I will wait for you too!” He yells back, before he disappears.

And you did, you did exactly that. Exactly like you had promised, you took care of yourself and you didn’t go crazy.

You didn’t go crazy but you mourned him, you missed him, cried about him, you cursed yourself for washing your stained cheek, for washing away the lipstick on your hand.

You wish you held him for a little longer.

It wasn’t fair, two lives ended when he didn’t return, when you received his cracked mask instead of your lover. But you waited, just like you promised. Unable to love another man again.

And now you can feel your own life slip away, you’re getting cold, you’re getting scared, and you wonder is he felt the same when he met his cruel fate with dead. The thought alone breaks your heart. Your vision is starting to get blurry and you are ready to accept your fate.

“You kept your promise.” You hear his familiar voice. “And I waited for you too.”

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comfortless · 26 days

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may i please ask for your thoughts on each könig skin ^^

sure thing!

default: beautiful, 10000/10, the only one that i ever really use (if i feel like suffering through this awful game). rare for cod to come out with an operator that does not look like a lazily stitched version of three other characters but König…. there is so much detail from the makeshift hood right down to the intentionally missed belt loop. the abundance of gear and the fact that none of the colors clash in a way that isn’t appealing! the hood is such a nice touch, too… obviously stitched together by his own hands.

i can only imagine the frustration he must have felt trying to hand-stitch around the eye holes when every needle probably seemed far too small for him to use. ;; did he even think to use a thimble? probably not…

anonymous, blood soaked, and praetorian are more or less the same apart from a few small details. i love the camos on him and how praetorian just lacks the tear-streaks entirely. also, that name? insinuating that he’s a commander of some sort… <3

tricks & violator: where are the scare actor König thoughts for these specifically. he was born to be shoved in a corn maze or a house decked out in fake blood and limbs. they are not scary but… give him some credit for making the hood for the first himself! what did he use..? an old halloween t-shirt? fabric paint? it’s perfect.

grouping antibody and biohazard together, because my thoughts are the same: underwhelming… but it’s him..! they both get a pass.

expedition: this is the cutest skin in the entirety of the game. including everyone else’s. the silly bucket hat. the hood still on beneath the net. the gloves? he looks like he can not decide whether he’s planning for a trip to find some long-forgotten temple in the jungle, a solo fishing trip, or tending to a pretty garden.

desidia: every time i see this one i am reminded of @wordsbyvani’s moss person König thoughts. some benevolent higher power will one day bless you all with the lovely secret knowledge that she bestows me with.

arachnid: barking pawing howling whining sulking shaking like 🥛 that is all.

deep lord: see above. but also… you know marine horror is such a lovely genre to explore. coupled with the additions to this skin i think someone could put something perfect together with this in mind!

the wolf: the company of wolves… red riding hood… any werewolf movie ever… constantly associating him with anything big and canine after seeing this one. it is SO silly but i like to think that maybe… there are further hints about him/his personality in the little details of each skin (i am on the floor begging for crumbs).

ghillie monster: i have to be honest with you all this one is just not… for syl. most of his skins at least still resemble him in some capacity, but his gear makes even his body look different here! shelved for eternity i will never touch this.

sinister: i think you all can probably already guess my thoughts!! if not… sorry. i will not share them here.

vapor: i do not play cod mobile and this one is not enough to bring me to that level of suffering.

also!! i both love and hate this ask because i had to stop myself at each one to not… fall into writing some silly blurb or adding several things to my ever growing wip list… BUT i do think it would be fun to toy around with using his other skins in mind when writing him! ^^ much to think about….

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mrs-monaghan · 7 months

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OMG Tae did way worse than I expected 💀💀💀

Slow Dancing - #3 on Billboard's Global Excl US. Jimin did #2 because of that Morgan whale

#4 on Billboard's Global 200 this week! - JM #2

BB 200 - Tae - #2 100K album, JM #2 164K.

BB 100 - Jm #1, Tae - #51 💀💀

the way most popular member charted below than Suga is crazy lol. Even Jimin's all hated Bside SMF ate it up so bad (#30 BB). This is answer to his rabid stans than internet popularity doesn't give you a shit irl. First outchart supposedly unpopular rapline before getting Park Jimin's lowest numbers lmao

Before I comment on this I would just like it to be known; I AM NOT A V ANTI!!!!!

This isn't a disclaimer. I am only stating this because of the asks I've go10 shitting on him. I will not be posting those. I don't blame anyone but myself. I know I have allowed people to vent about him here before and I was definitely among the people getting pissed at the JK name dropping but I'm pretty chill these days. So V's antics don't bother me and also there is something about binging all that Layover content continously that just reminds you that V is not the monster people paint him out to be.

If you haven't had the time i recommend this video. It was my favourite and I quite enjoyed it.

youtube

He is funny and honestly I also wanna say adorable 😂😂

Sure, the way he treats those around him could use some adjustment. But those around him seem to love him just fine so who I'm I to be mad at him, you know?

Now that that's out of the way, let's indeed talk numbers. I've said multiple times the 2 most popular members are Jimin and JK. Not V and JK. We've seen this before but sure, let's revisit the topic.

So a friend of mine who quite enjoys keeping tabs on numbers did the following math:

September 9th Streams, Thailand percentage compared to overall Streams:

Seven: 17,6 %

Slow Dancing: 29,6 %

Like Crazy: 8,7 %

So this is the amount of Streams Thailand had for the Maknae line Main Tracks on September 9th, Compared to worldwide Streams.

😁

Maknae Line, Main Track Streams Debut Day. Global vs USA vs Thailand

Debut Streams "Seven":

Global: 15,99 M

USA: 2,064 M (12,9 %)

Thailand: 1,3 M (8,13 %)

Debut Streams "Like Crazy":

Global: 6,6 M

USA: 0.997 M (15,1 %)

Thailand: 0,165 M (7,5 %)

Debut Streams "Slow Dancing":

Global: 6,14 M

USA: 0,388 M (6,3 %)

Thailand: 0,970 M (15,8 %)

These are the Streams for each Main Track's Debut Day. Global vs US vs Thailand

In conclusion:

-USA and Thailand looooooove JK. BUT Seven is charting in 71 out of 72 (wow) eligble Spotify countries. So it's a bob and a hit globally.

-USA loooooooooves Jimin. Thailand, not so much 😬

-Thailand absolutely looooooves V. USA, not so much.

But we kinda already knew this no? Alot of vermin are in Thailand, Vietnam and Philippines, etc. SouthEastAsian is Taekook domain statistically speaking. But the thing is, its still mostly V they prioritize. SEVEN experienced global success coz JK appears to be a fan favourite everywhere. So that helps him even when the SouthEastAsians decide to mostly support V.

So assuming these calculations are correct, which they should be since they are from Spotify Global, (feel free to go do your own) I really don't understand how it was concluded V is the most popular member. And there is many more countries to choose from, my friend only used Thailand coz its one of the countries that stream the most.

People assuming V is the most popular coz of his followers on IG, Guys, Instagram is only one app. V solos n V biased Armys can convince themselves that he's the most popular but numbers do not lie. Chapter 2 has shown that that, is not the case at all. I mean if you've been on twitter you've seen V hasn't even been able to beat Suga in certain categories and records. Like anon said.

The purpose of my post is not to say V isn't liked. That would be a lie. I'm just saying if anything JK is the most popular BTS member. And that's on fax 💯💯💯💯 with Jimin being a very, very, close second. And I know by saying this I am beating a dead horse atp but if Jimin had go10 the push JK did they would either be head to head or he would have surpassed him. So imagine what a big deal it is, that Jimin is doing so well right now and he didn't even get that huge company support.

US album sales were 3K according to Billboard, thats like 30k singles. China did 800k 😱 Asia loves V. US however, which is where it counts for Billboard, do not. Billboard sabotaged all Asians after Jimin won, which means if JK hadn't go10 radio play he never would have won. So, without radio play, V was never going to get that number 1. Those who aren't dillusional already knew this. So we aren't surprised

#ask shaz #bts ask #jimin is king #bts #jimin face #jungkook seven #v layover #jimin #jungkook #jikook #power couple

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atlafan · 1 month

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Jordan, ik you probably don’t want to have a whole conversation about this but I recently watched Drew Gooden’s video on the live action atla series (it just affirmed that I definitely don’t want to watch it lol) but it did inspire me to do a rewatch of the original and ughhhhhh it’s so incredible😭😭 all the little characterization details are SO rewarding and so good. Zuko’s small acts of kindness, even early on in book 1, just show that he’s always been Ursa’s son and help set up his arc for the rest of the show. Going after the captured Iroh instead of tracking the Gaang in Winter Solstice. Saving his crew in The Storm. It just shows you that at his core he believes in doing the right thing, and that’s a huge part of why his overall arc pays off so well. It’s the same with all of them—seeing Sokka put on his war paint and his battle regalia (in ep 2 or 3 I think) to confront Zuko in the village…it shows you that he takes such pride in the responsibility of being a leader and a warrior, especially in his dad’s absence. Yet when he gets to Kyoshi, we see the humbled side of him, and that he’s devoted to learning and respectful of the masters in their craft (whether it’s the Kyoshi warriors or Piandao or even the mechanist) and wants to learn what they have to teach him. Even Jet, who is always a very complicated character for me, is so compelling and so real. He’s suffered horribly and unfortunately has let that radicalize him. Tbh it reminds me of when anti war groups in the 60s would bomb places and things like that…the mission is “peace” but you’ve let your mission turn you into a violent radical who doesn’t know the difference between right and wrong anymore. I KNOW I don’t have to tell you lol but all the little details of this show, from design to writing to performances, are just incredibleeee and I’m so happy it exists.

GISICKAKAAK what a fun message to wake up to!

Yes I am simply pretending the new series doesn’t exist because I know it’ll just piss me off if I watch it. And I know myself well enough to know I am just not mature enough to separate the original from the new, so yeah I won’t be watching and I doubt I ever will. The one thing I am mature about is that I don’t “hate watch” things anymore lmao

I think this is why zuko is like my favorite character. I feel like he was the first character I was ever like “no, that’s actually my son” when I got older. He is so fucking complicated and so not at all what you think he’s going to be. He’s not just the antagonist, he’s Aang’s foil. They parallel each other in so many different ways. There’s a scene in book 3 where Aang literally says, “I need my honor back”, and it cross fades from one side of his face to the other side of zuko’s!!

All of the characters have incredible arcs. They all learn something about themselves, and they actually use that to grow and get better. Remember, these are literally children who were thrusted into adulthood, forced to grow up way too early. Katara is a nagging mother, but she also remembers how to be a kid and have fun and laugh. Sokka is a sexier idiot, but what teenage boy isn’t? He unlearns so much behavior, and even though he still feels like he’s the leader of the group, and in so many ways he is, he learns that it’s okay to let someone else take the lead, that he doesn’t always have to be right or in charge. Toph learns that she’s loveable for who she is, blindness and shoeless and a badass.

Aang and Zuko obviously have the most difficult arcs. Aang has to come to terms with the fact that he ran away, and a mass genocide of his people ensued. But if he hadn’t left, he would have died along with the rest of them. Like it or not, it was fate that he froze himself. And most avatars get told who they are at 16 and are given all the time in the world to learn the other elements. Aang was 12…and then had to learn the other elements in less than a year. I would argue that he didn’t necessarily master all the elements in that year. I think he learned enough about each to get by, and I’d like to think he took some time afterwards to really master them. He still relied on his air bending a lot. Whereas if we look at Korra, she did a lot of fire bending even though water was her natural element.

And my baby zuko…I could go on for days about him. My tortured emo son. He overcame so much. He cried, he learned to laugh again, he learned how to be young again. He hated being in the slums of ba sing se, but he also went on dates and got closer with his uncle like he never had been. He was such a sweet little boy. The storm always makes me cry. Zuko alone always makes me cry.

I could go on! I always wanna talk about avatar so never be afraid to come to my inbox about it!

#atla #avatar #avatar the last airbender #zuko #katara #aang #sokka #toph #uncle iroh #the gaang #gaang #prince zuko #zutara

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manheeiim · 1 month

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chapter nine: homecoming & connections

-- a ghostly love masterlist

I sat on the stage with Charley and Mr. Martin as Wally did push-ups with Rhonda on his back. My legs were crossed and my hands were resting in my lap as I just watched. Who would’ve thought that I would’ve ended up with a crush on some guy who’s technically speaking, if we were still alive, 30 years older than me. Not me, that’s for sure. But, here I was. I hadn’t had a crush on a guy in a long time, so maybe that was why my feelings were more intense than usual.

“38. 39.” Wally counted as he did push-ups.

“Can I get off now?” Rhonda asked.

“No. One more.” He said before doing another push-up. “40.” He counted.

“Okay, I’m getting off.” Rhonda told him as she got up.

“Okay. Yeah.” Wally said as he quickly got up, clapping his hands as he turned to face everyone. “All right, who’s next?” He asked before looking directly at me. “Lucia, you want to ride the pony?” He suggestively asked before he winked at me.

“N- no.” I responded, a little taken aback although, why even was I at this point. I had to start getting used to this.

“It’s a countdown, baby. We’ve got ten hours until the homecoming game.” Wally said, obviously excited. I didn’t know how he could be though, knowing that he had died on homecoming. He gave Mr. Martin a high five before standing next to me, “We’ve got to pump it up.” He said before hopping up onto the stage next to me, laying down.

“Oh, we are pumped, Wally.” Mr. Martin told him. “This is what pumped looks like for some of us.” He said.

“Any more pumped and I’ll throw up in my hat.” Rhonda said.

Wally sat up, putting his hand on my thigh as he put the other on the stage, scooting up a little.

Mr. Martin gave Rhonda a look, “Or not. More pumping!” She said, fakely enthusiastic.

“All right. Has everyone signed up for a prep committee?” Mr. Martin asked us. “We still need more help with decorations and refreshments.” He told us. “Right. Who’s going to be blowing up balloons? And who’s going to be making my crown of sparklers?” Wally asked.

“I’ll help you blow up your balloons.” Charley told him. “No one likes a sad pony.” He then said before looking over at me with his eyebrows raised.

I lay on the floor next to Wally as we finished up painting his “Go Wally!” sign. “Why do we have to do this when the school already has decorations?” I asked.

“It’s kind of a tradition at this point.” Charley said with a shrug.

“He’s right.” Rhonda told me. “Once a year, we’re forced to relive Wally’s glory days.” She said.

I looked over at Wally, “Hey, at least I had glory.” He retorted.

“Wow.” I commented. “I don’t get how you like homecoming so much.” I then told him. “Considering, you died at homecoming.” I added.

“I mean, my family still shows up for me every year, so I try to show up for them, you know?” Wally answered and I just nodded, I guess that made sense. That reminded me though, my mom was probably going to be at this game, despite the fact that I’d died not too long ago. “You’re coming to the game, right?” Wally asked.

“Yeah, I am.” I answered.

“Cool.” Was all Wally said in response before going back to painting.

We were all scattered around the bleachers, and the football field, watching the football team get ready for homecoming later that night. I sat on the grass, or really, the artificial grass that they used for football fields, and leaned against the y-shaped goal post. I watched as Wally played with the football. It ended up coming rolling my way and he ran over.

“Yo, a little help?” He asked as he held his hand up, wanting me to throw the ball to him.

“I’m not that good at throwing footballs.” I responded.

He came over and sat down next to me, grabbing the football before leaning against the pole just as I was. He let out a sigh.

“Aren’t you going to.. practice more?” I asked, feeling a little flustered about the fact that it was just the two of us, alone.

“Oh, no. I’m maxed out.” He told me. “I gotta save myself for the big show.” He said. “But anyway, what’s up with you? How have you been… feeling lately? Adjusting to the life of the undead well?” Wally asked.

I giggled, why did he have to call it that. “I’m- I’m okay.” I responded. “I think that I’ve just been getting used to this and the fact that this is going to be how it is for me.” I told Wally.

“That’s good.” Wally said. “Oh shit, I just remembered. I wanted to ask when we were making the sign but I didn’t want to ask in front of everyone else.” Wally explained.

“Sure, what is it?” I waited for what he had to ask.

“Do you think your mom is going to come to homecoming?” Wally asked me.

I thought for a moment, “I don’t know.” I responded. “I.. hope not.” I admitted. “But, if she does come, maybe I’ll just tell myself that it’s her way of grieving.” I said.

“Well, you know, my parents, they’ve been coming to my games for 20 years now.” Wally told me. “And it never feels great.” He told me. “Unless we win of course, then it does.” He jokingly added, trying to lighten the mood a little.

“Does your dad do the whole crazy fan thing? Like, curse at the refs and scream at the coaches?” I asked.

Wally scoffed, “Um” He’s silent for a few moments, “my mom always pushed me to be the best version of myself, you know, on and off the field.” He responded, seemingly avoiding the topic.

Shit, did he not have a dad? Was his dad not around like mine wasn’t? I should’ve considered that, I thought to myself.

“Oh, um. That’s good. But, didn’t you die on the field?” I asked.

“Yep, I was right at the five-yard line.” He pointed at it. “And I was running, and then I heard my neck,” He made a noise that imitated the sound of his neck cracking. “And it was lights out, but it did not hurt at all.” Wally told me. “Is that what happened to you?” Wally asked me.

“Yeah, I think so. I don’t remember if I heard my neck crack or not. But, I think with the way I landed, that’s probably what happened.” I answered.

“Shit.” Was all Wally said. There’s a sudden whistle sound coming from the coach. Wally got up, “That was my cue. I’ll see you later, right?” Wally asked and I nodded “You’ll cheer for me?” He asked and I nodded once again, smiling. “Whoo.” He happily said before running off.

I couldn’t help but think that I might’ve upset him when asking about his dad. I felt bad. I, of all people, should’ve known not to assume things when it comes to parents. Was he mad at me now? I didn’t know if I wanted to know.

I stand at the end of the line of cheerleaders. Did I particularly want to be cheering right now? No, definitely not. But, Wally had asked me to cheer for him and not only was he my crush, but I knew that this day was important to him, so I did it. For him.

I watched as the football team ran through the paper sign and out onto the field. I then watched as two of the other ghosts got ready with the paper sign for Wally. I cheered more enthusiastically now since I knew he’d be out any second.

He jumped through the paper sign, breaking it, as he shouted happily. He took the helmet off and looked around, “It’s game day, baby!” He said. I watched as he saluted to three shirtless guys with letters painted on their chests. He then looked over and we made eye contact. He smiled at the sight of me and I smiled back. He came over to me and put his hand on my arms, looking down at me.

“You look beautiful.” He told me before going out to where the footballers were.

I blushed as I looked down at the ground before heading up to the bleachers where all the other ghosts were sitting, ready to watch the game. I sat down at the end of one of the rows, not really near the others.

A few minutes passed, and I watched Wally run up the stairs to greet the others. I looked back and watched him as he shook Mr. Martin and Rhonda’s hands and kissed Charley on the cheek. He gave high-fives and fist bumps and he really seemed to be having a good time. I was happy for him.

I watched as he looked over at me with a smile and came down to where I was sitting. He bent down and looked past me for a moment before looking at me again. “Hey, you see her?” He asked and I looked in the direction that he was looking towards.

I saw an older woman, she looked to be in her early-70’s, I’d say. She was fully decked out in the school’s merchandise.

“That is my mama.” Wally told me and I glanced over at him again before looking at her. “She has never missed a game, and she always leaves that seat empty next to her every time.” He told me.

“That’s nice.” I told him, because really, it was.

“My dad, he stopped coming a few years ago.” Wally said and I looked over at him. Oh. “I think the seat’s for me.” He told me. “You mind if I- go over there?” Wally asked, motioning over to his mom.

“Of course, Wally. Go.” I said and he nodded. He stood up and hesitated before leaning down and kissing my cheek and walking over to his mom, sitting next to her.

I looked away, looking out into the field. As I looked around, I caught sight of the one and only, my mother, sitting the closest she could, while in the bleachers, to the field. She was dressed up fancy as shit, for no reason. She had a sad look on her face. I felt.. bad. I also felt.. sad. I hated that she was here, partly because I felt like it meant that she wasn’t even grieving me, even if I rationally knew that, that didn’t mean that. When I saw her looking sad though, it broke my heart. Honestly.

A little while passed and I felt a tap on my shoulder, I looked over and saw Wally. “Want to get some drinks and food?” He asked and I nodded. “Yes, please.” I said, getting up, and following him to the concession stand.

Once we were far enough away that we could speak in a more normal voice, Wally spoke, asking me, “Was your mom here?”

“Um, yeah. She was.” I told him.

“How you feeling?” Wally asked.

“Sad, I guess.” I responded.

He stopped walking and so did I, “We can talk about it, just.. let me get some food for us, okay?” He asked and I nodded. He brought his hand up to my hair and tucked some of it behind my ear. “Go get us a table.” He told me. “I’ll be right there.” He said.

And so, I did as he said, going to get us a table, not that it really mattered anymore since no one could see us. I sat down at an empty table and waited for a little before Wally walked over with a tray of drinks and hot dogs. He sat down next to me and put a hot dog and a drink in front of me.

“So.. you’re sad?” He asked.

“I.. yeah.” I said. “Well, I just.. I could tell that she really was sad and that made me sad, I guess.” I said, suddenly feeling on the verge of tears. “I.. feel that I took a lot of things in my life for granted. At the same time though, I know that with a lot of things, I tried my best to appreciate them, even if they were small because, I know how it feels to lose something or.. well someone.” I told him.

“Did your dad die?” Wally asked me.

“No, but he acted like he did. He.. when he was around. He was horrible. I had to watch him abuse my mom, he did some pretty abusive stuff to me. I was only a kid then. He left when I was 12. I haven’t seen him since. I’ve gotten cards for my birthday and holidays with a shit ton of money in them. It didn’t mean anything to me though. It was- he only did that because he felt guilty. He felt guilty and so he gave me money, and acted like that made him dad of the year even though I hadn’t even seen him in years.” I ranted. “I tried my best when it came to cheerleading for the most part, for my mom. I didn’t like it, but especially after my mom and dad had broken up, I felt like I needed to put more effort into cheer because I knew that cheer made my mom happy, and all I wanted was to see my mom happy again.” I told him, letting out a shaky breath.

Wally is silent for a moment, “I’m sorry that happened.” He said. “I hate thinking about all of that happening to you.” He told me.

“Yeah..” I quietly responded.

“I wish we could’ve been alive together. Maybe not with me being the age I’d be, but I wish that we could’ve been alive teenagers together.” Wally told me. “I would’ve been there for you, through everything.” He said. I looked into his eyes, my heart warming. “I am here for you now though, if that counts?” Wally asked. “It does.” I said with a small smile, wiping the tears threatening to come out from my eyes, not letting them. He pulled me into a hug, rubbing his hand up and down my back, the warmness of not only his hand on my skin but his body against mine calmed me down. I squeezed my eyes shut, not wanting to cry. I took a few deep breaths, the two of us still hugging one another before we pulled away.

“Maybe the food will help make you feel better?” Wally suggested with a soft smile. I let out a breathy laugh, “Yeah.” I said, picking my hotdog up, unwrapping it, and taking a bite.

I finished up my cigarette, throwing the butt on the floor and crushing it with my sneakers. The game was almost over but I didn’t want to be alone so I didn’t leave entirely, I just needed a break.

“Lucia.” I heard and I looked over to see Wally walking over to me.

“Hey.” I said, giving him a small smile.

“I just.. I don’t think I’ve ever met anybody like you before.” He told me.

I’m taken aback, to be honest. “Me too.” I said back, meaning it when I said it.

“I don’t feel like I’ve ever been able to talk to someone like I can talk to you.” Wally said.

I nodded, “I know. Me too.” I said once again.

Wally looked into my eyes for a moment, “Do you want to go to the dance with me?” He asked. “You can totally say no, Lucia. I just thought it’d be nice.” He said.

“Yeah.” I answered and he stopped talking. “I’ll go with you.” I said.

“All- alright. That’s cool. Sounds good. I’ll see you there.” He told me. “So, hell yeah.” He then said before turning around, clicking his heels together before jogging off.

I giggled at his actions. Then I finally took it in. He asked me to the homecoming dance. Oh my god.

#manheeiim #milo manheim #milo #milo manheim x reader #milo x reader #wally clark #wally clark x reader #wally clark x oc #wally x reader #wally clark imagine #wally clark fanfiction #school spirits #school spirits imagine #school spirits fanfiction

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potatomountain · 10 months

Text

Fallen Crown pt 3: To Covet

Captured prince Yeosang[Ateez] x “tainted” Princess fem!reader

Warnings: mentions of r*pe, manipulation, trauma, bloodbath, mentions of death, panic attacks. let me know if i missed any!

Word count: 4.6k

An: this took me awhile as I'm still trying to get back into writing regularly but here ya go <3 gentle reminder this does have some dark themes!

Taglist now at the bottom!

Masterlist | Previous | Next

Much to my surprise, there was no difficulty in retrieving food and supplies for my new charge. Despite the King agreeing to my proposal I had expected some trouble, as the sadistic fuck loved to see anyone struggle. But there was none.

Food was supplied even if it was stale bread and scraps of cheese. My own meals seemed to be a bit more in abundance, and I would set some aside for him. The only true difficulty was that I could only see him once a day, and it was now monitored.

A week passed, my visits were short as I tended to his wounds and changed the bandages. He wore the clothes I had brought him as they fit quite snuggly, and on more than one occasion I found myself admiring the muscles accented by the fabric. If he noticed, he did not say; in fact he said nothing at all.

But he didn't need to. With his back to the guarded bars, his eyes always held the same question as he would look over the dark dresses I would wear, covering all the wounds he had inflicted on me. They weren't deep, nothing that needed more than a few stitches like a gash on my arm, but I was fine. His gaze was always looking for proof that I was, and his concern would flutter my heart in a way I wasn't so keen on.

I was resigned to my fate, I did not want him incenting dreams or desires in me. That was a cruelty I couldn't handle.

After I would dress his wounds, I would leave the food and water for him and leave without a word. Our silent exchanges felt like anything but, yet it seemed lost on the guard.

The guard was just as silent as we, which had me on edge. Nearly every guard or man under my father's command would have some snide remark to make, with the exception of a few, but this was not one I was familiar with. I suspected he was ordered to watch for something, but I don't know what. I could only hope he was satisfied.

The day for another round in the arena came, and as per usual I was stepping into the center of the coliseum in some semblance of a red dress, this time one that showed off every wound I had. In a week's time they were not as bad, but the maids who had dressed me had applied makeup to make them stand out more- in particular one on my exposed stomach as the dress seemed to be a two part piece inspired by the island kingdoms in the South.

There was a gash on my upper right arm accentuated to look worse than it was with the stitches, and a few extra 'bruises' painted on. The crowd seemed to enjoy the view of my battered body, with my hair and face done up just like a pristine doll for contrast. I assumed it was just for the people's entertainment, as that was all I ever was now.

I should've thought about it more.

While I awaited instructions, prisoners were brought out by the dozen- war prisoners. Some seemed to recognize me and I realized that even the men of the nobles that had joined the rebellion were held here. Dozen by dozen, until half the arena was packed with the war prisoners. The last one to enter was him, my charge, wearing the same clothes he had worn the last time in the arena, the cut up fabric showing the dirty bandages underneath.

We locked eyes for a moment, but I was the first to look away. I did not like this stage the King was setting up. All prisoners of the rebellion, from both kingdoms, were present, as was the head of the noble faction that was now considered a traitor.

Today he was making an example out of them no doubt.

"How fitting, our tainted Princess standing in a crowd of traitors. Despite how dirty you are, you are still royalty though no?" The King's voice boomed over the crowd, effectively silencing the arena. "They should all be on their knees to you, Princess of the Arena."

Bestowed with a new title it seemed, one that wasn't as derogatory as the others, I could only stare up at the King's dias in shock. Something was wrong, something was different, and I did not like it.

What game was he going to play with me now?

The shuffling of chains drew my attention to Yeosang as he climbed down to his knees, half the prisoners following suit quickly. My mouth hung agape, eyes wide. Despite the forced show of respect, I saw it for what it was: they were all bowing because their Prince was.

Whether the King was aware of it or not, I couldn't tell from here, shrugging off the kneeling prisoners with a wave of my hand I turned and stared up once more at the dias. "A title comes with responsibility, Your Majesty, so what duties are you giving your humble servant?" I made a show of a modest bow, keeping my head lowered but eyes on him.

"I'm glad you asked, my dear, as it pertains to today's events. See, we have far too many prisoners for our dungeons... killing all these traitors seems pointless. Since you so graciously took their leader as your charge, I will give you the responsibility of deciding the rest of their fates."

My stomach dropped, the weight of so many lives on my shoulders felt unbearably crushing. I fought off the urge to look back at Yeosang, wanting his guidance on this matter. He led them before, he would know what to do- but I couldn't ask him.

Instead I turned slowly, taking in the worn faces of every prisoner in the arena, half of them with expressions of anger or disgust at this predicament, but the others seemed nonchalant, or not at all worried. "There are too many-" I called out, gaze briefly landing on Yeosang's figure, but he tore his own from me. He probably didn't like this predicament either.

"Well?!" The King called out, drawing my attention once more. "What shall we do with them, hm?"

Letting them go was out of the question, he would just kill them and I on the spot if I tried. He would refuse to feed them if I didn't make a decision either, let them die out slowly. Or... I couldn't save all of them, but I could most.

Clearing my throat I held my head high and arms wide. "Let them fight! They were so eager to do so before. Here is a plethora of entertainment for your People, Your majesty! Have them fight for their cells, then their food, and if you wish to show your merciful side... perhaps even freedom? The conditions of their fight are whatever would please you, as you know what your people need the most do you not?"

The stands roared at the idea, even more entertainment, more bloodshed for them to watch. The King's laughter mingled with the cheers until he called for silence. "You have earned the title Princess of the Arena, as you have learned well how to please the people and myself. Your idea certainly is better than having them all fight to the death here and now for only one winner. However... it would be a shame to have brought them all out here just to have you decide their fate."

So there was still going to be a bloodbath today.

"Since this will be the last day for some, I will grant them some mercy. They can witness that sinful dance of yours. So many already think you are worth more than freedom, I wonder if these scum will."

Cheers once more erupted but I didn't care, my heart was beating for an entirely different reason now. He was once more dangling me as bait in front of his fighters, once more shaming me in a new way. I should be used to it, no I was, but this was a humiliation on a different level. It was a humiliation to the men around me: to Yeosang.

Oddly enough I did not want to be shamed in front of him either; not when he has shown me more respect, more kindness, than anyone before him.

Yet I had no right to protest, not in the eyes of the King or the people in the stands. I was still a puppet and my strings were being pulled. So when the music started up somewhere in the stands, I danced.

Shortly after my fall, the moves for this particular dance were shown to me by a prostitute the King had brought in. 'Since you are now the royal whore, you should know how to perform like one' was his excuse. Even still, the dance was not that sinful, not that seductive... only paired with the exposed skin was it.

My bare feet glided over the sand beneath me, the eyes of hundreds of prisoners fixated on my form but only one I was even more aware of than the rest. Out of the corner of my eye I watched him, he seemed as transfixed as the soldiers around him but by the clench of his jaw it was not for the same reason. Eyes on my stomach, then my arm, the bruises on my exposed thighs- each flicker of his gaze darker than the last.

I didn't understand why he was concerned, or was it guilt? Guilt I could understand, as I could see the bandages as plain as the sand beneath my feet. I could still picture his lashed and raw back in my mind, the guilt heavy stones in my stomach knowing I put them there.

Just thinking about the damage I had done to him had me stumbling over my own feet in distraction. I caught myself quickly enough, but it wasn't missed by the nearby onlookers.

Relief washed over me as I finished the dance on my knees, head lowered and arms held out at my sides in a way to submit myself. I could hear the cheers, the crowd familiar with my dance, but the men around me were silent. For war prisoners, they seemed awfully lifeless... or obedient? I spared a glance up through my lashes at the man I knew they were obedient for, briefly catching pain on his features before it was whisked away and replaced with a nonchalance.

Once more the King quieted the audience before speaking up. "Even wounded you still put on a good performance fitting of the Royal Whore. Let's give the deprived scum something more to fight for, say a kiss from you today?" Chills ran down my spine while the crowd loved it. A kiss? "It was scum that defiled you first, so that seems rather fitting. Very well! I will announce today's game!"

I shifted in the sand, turning my back to Yeosang and staring up at the red canopy shielding the King from the sun's rays. After a bit of chit chat with those around him, he spoke into the magic tool once more.

"There are just over four hundred prisoners in the arena currently, the last one hundred left alive will live another day. The best fighters will be assessed by the guards around the arena and will participate in a fight for the grand prize. With only one exception- the fallen Prince shall be the final opponent and will not partake in the blood shed today, as he is under the protection of our dear filthy Princess. What say you?"

The idea of bloodshed, of deprived men fighting to kiss a whore, excited the crowd while it terrified me.

The King was skilled in making his puppets shine as fools. Skilled in stripping them of their pride and will until they were obedient brutes who played into his hands. He enjoyed dangling me as a toy for even traitors to play with, and was enjoying making light of their rebellion, their fight to attempt to overthrow this kingdom. He wanted to see them toss it aside for something as shameful as a woman's kiss.

No honor, no pride, no morality or dignity. He wanted all that stripped of each person in the arena.

The guards approached Yeosang and I, leading us off to the side near the arena gates. The guards went through but instructed us to stay put, leaving us with the best seats in the house. Our backs to the bars, we had to face the four hundred other prisoners who were slowly standing up. There were no weapons handed out, nothing but the chains around each prisoner's hands.

It wasn't often I was present or watched a fight to the death, and usually there were weapons involved. When the gong sounded, at first none of them moved. They looked to each other, and several looked in our direction; no, they looked to their Prince.

I could see the slightest of nods from him out of the corner of my eye, and only then did the bloodbath occur. And it was indeed just that.

Four hundred prisoners of war tearing each other apart with their bare hands and chains was a gruesome sight. It was not easy killing another in the crowd, and no death would be quick enough in such a situation.

It was easily one of the most terrifying sights I had to witness. I wasn't sure where to look, or why I should, but it was nearly impossible to keep a straight face as I watched. I couldn't tear my eyes away either.

My stomach lurched when a body fell just a few meters from us. Sure we weren't that far from the bloodshed considering how many bodies currently filled the sands of the arena, but this was close enough blood splattered on the sand just in reach of my feet.

"Gods-" I turned quickly, shutting my eyes while my hands went over my stomach. This was almost too much, they were being so brutal, screams and cheers ringing so loudly my head pounded. I wished for nothing more than for it to stop, or to be in a position that I could be ignorant to what was happening. Oblivious and unawares.

Yet I will never forget.

A soft touch on my arm startled me, hand lashing out and slapping away the perpetrator.

"It's alright-" Yeosang's sweet voice rang through the noise, drawing my wide eyes to him. "I'm sorry you have to see this."

"Sorry?!" I couldn't believe this, why was he apologizing to me? "Those are your men. Men you knew, that fought with you and followed you- were loyal to you. Why are you saying sorry to me? Are you unaffected watching them tear each other apart??" Panic had my voice rising a few octaves, the sounds of death still ringing in my ear and peripheral.

Yet he was so calm. Why was he calm? Why did he seem so apologetic as if he was the one doing wrong... to me?

A loud cry nearby startled me enough i physically jumped, eyes wide with obvious fear. This felt no different than the bandit raid that changed my life. "Yeosang-" Yet I had something to latch onto now; a comfort I hadn't had before.

Why he was a comfort was lost to me, perhaps because we were undergoing this psychological torture together. That had to be it, right?

"It's alright. You can't break just yet Princess, I know you can withstand more than this." He spoke low and evenly, a vast difference to my growing erratic breathing. "I am here." Those three words struck a chord in my chest, finding new strength in my core to regain control over my breathing while our eyes stayed locked in what felt like an embrace. His shining with a steady comfort, and my own reflecting my fear even as it dissipated.

With a slow nod I kept my eyes locked on his, reaching out and grabbing onto the loose chain around his wrist. The movement was subtle, and only for a moment of comfort; any more and I'd risk too many onlookers seeing and risk a punishment.

I wasn't sure how much time passed, forcing myself to stare straight ahead once I put some distance between us. Even still I watched him out of the corner of my eye; it was the better option compared to watching the bloodshed. His own expression was impassive, his own eyes remaining forward. Since I was to his left, I could notice the mark on his left eye. I've admired it a few times, probably a birthmark. This close and just peeking out from the strands of his black hair it almost resembled a heart.

It was the sound of a gong reverberating through the arena that drew my attention back to the slaughter. The fight seemed to be over, only one fourth of the prisoners remained standing and most did not look spared their own damage.

"It's over..." with a sigh of relief I squared my shoulders, awaiting for the announcement that would come shortly. But just as the King began congratulating the remaining fighters, the gate behind the two of us opened and the guards ushered us through. It seemed neither of us were going to witness this next part.

We were brought to a nearby room, much like a cell but a bit more decorated to be a waiting room. I usually sat here during matches, unable to see the arena but you could hear the cheers well enough. The wooden door was shut behind us, leaving us alone and out of sight, which just perplexed me.

Rage filled me as well; rage that if they intended to bring me here anyways, why wait until after the bloodshed? Why did I have to be subjugated to that ghastly sight!?

But I knew the reason, he was standing right behind me.

Exasperated, and overwhelmed, I stumbled over to a nearby bench, sitting down a bit roughly. I heard him approach, but I didn’t lift my head, not even when he stood before me.

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?!” My head shot back to look up at him, my brow furrowed and trying to make sense of his apologetic expression. “For what? What could you possibly be sorry for, Your Majesty?” It’s not as if you forced them to murder each other like that. Not as if you forced me to watch.” I emphasized through gritted teeth, tears burning just behind my lids. “I should be apologizing to you- it’s my father that forced this, that demands it, for his own sick and twisted games. So why are you? Why are you-” The words broke off on a sob, and before tears could fall I lowered my head into my hands.

He just followed suit, kneeling down before me, hesitantly placing his hands on my bare knees. “Are your wounds really as bad as they look?” The care in the way he ran a thumb over a bruise on my outer thigh matched his tone, soothing the raging storm inside my heart a bit.

“No- they were enhanced for the crowd’s entertainment.” I replied, watching his hands through my fingers until a realization hit. “You…” Slowly I lifted my head, staring at him incredulously. Were you apologizing for these wounds?” He nodded, his own gaze refusing to meet mine. “I do not wish to hurt you, or see you hurt.” “And why not? I’m a part of this kingdom even if they don’t treat me as such. I still have that bastard’s blood in my veins- the one who just ordered your men to die like that. I am not deserving of your concern.” “My men knew what they were getting into with this war, the price they would pay should it fail. No man followed me to this city without accepting that this could be their fate.” He took my hands in his. “Not a single one of them faults you for your father’s deeds. It would warm their hearts to know you shed tears for them.”

I wanted to protest, but the tears running down my cheeks were evidence enough. “No one should die like that.” In need of comfort I no longer could deny myself, I leaned forward and rested my forehead against his unburdened shoulder, my body shaking. “How can they cheer for such cruelty?”

Sobs escaped me, and in an effort to muffle them I pressed closer. He didn’t push me off, instead reaching up and wrapping his arms around my shoulders in an embrace. I didn’t feel as if I deserved his kindness, his care, sympathy- whatever this was. It ignited emotions in me I didn’t not need, because it was hopeless to feel these things. This anger, sorrow, and the urge to be spiteful and fight.

I could not fight, in the end I was just as much a prisoner here as the men out there. If the puppeteer asked me to tear another to death with my bare hands, I would.

It was that irony that dissolved me into a mess in his arms. Someone who should have been my enemy, but acted as my ally.

By the time the door opened once more, I had collected myself and put some distance between us. He hadn’t said anything to my broken babblings while I had cried, but his expression had seemed distant since, jaw clenched tightly I could notice it across the room.

“Come on scum, it’s your turn to fight.” The guard motioned for Yeosang to exit but he had turned his eyes towards me. “I can’t tell if I’m jealous of you or find you pitiful, to have to fight for that whore’s lips. Always wanted to kiss a Princess, not a whore though.”

I didn’t have the energy to be angry after all that crying, my gaze downcast. Really I should be used to this by now.

Yeosang threw me for a shock, however, as a scoff escaped him as he passed the guard. “If she had to kiss you, I’d pity her.”

The guard just laughed it off, patting Yeosang heavily on his injured shoulder when I looked up. “Smitten with the Whore already? I think you two are perfect for each other. Better go win your prize then bastard.” He pushed him forward and out of sight, slamming the door and leaving me be.

Alone I could feel how warm my cheeks were, and not from humiliation. Had he really taken a jab at the guard for my honor? I shouldn’t be happy about that; it could give the king the wrong message if Yeosang appeared smitten with me. He would use it to toy with him, dangle me as bait in front of the man and use me as a way to hurt him. I shivered at the many possibilities that would entail, and most were not good.

The only idea that didn’t sound repulsive was Yeosang actually winning myself as a prize. Not because I wanted to do anything with him, but I was sure he would do nothing to me the way one of those brutes would.

Whilst trying to wrap my head around that idea, the cheers rang through the arena, disrupting my thoughts. Oddly enough I was escorted out of the room and back into the arena the next moment, perplexed by how fast that battle seemed to be.

My heartbeat should not have quickened at the sight of him standing in the center of a couple hundred dead bodies. My breath should not have hitched when we locked eyes, and I should not have found myself in awe at how nearly unscathed he was while his opponent was being carried away unconscious.

This is dangerous. I told myself, hands gripped together in front of me as I stopped just a few feet from the man.

“Well, claim your prize prisoner!” The King called from his seat, cheers and cries of discontent filling the space all around us.

None of that scared me more than the look in his eyes. It wasn’t cold or fierce, but I was familiar with a look akin to it: desire. If this man desired me, I was afraid it would consume us both. I had to think quickly, something to deter the impending struggle that would come from this prize, as it would seal our fate in a different way.

In a panic I was the one who closed the distance, reaching up and grabbing his chains to pull him down to my level while crashing my lips to his. Tears pricked the back of my eyes once more, nasty emotions welling in my chest at the realization that yes, I desired this man too, and it was a shame this was all I could do of it. That it would be a show of entertainment, that even these emotions and actions were to be pulled by the puppeteer and used against me to entertain this crowd.

I made the kiss quick, pulling away before he had a chance to respond. I made a show of wiping my mouth and spitting, giving a glare before turning to face the Royal Dias. “I hope my shame pleases you, Your Majesty! Giving me to even a traitor of your great empire? Is there not more entertaining things you could use this man for? Rather than kiss a whore?” I raised my voice as loud as it would go, unable to look Yeosang in the eyes and playing it off as disgust.

The King laughed, apparently pleased with my outburst. “It would be amusing to give the rebellious spirit something to fight for in here. You may be a useless gem, but even the lowest beings covet something. What say you, Kang Yeosang? Would you fight more for prizes from my daughter? Is that something you covet?”

Turning to Yeosang, I hoped he would say nothing, just lower his head and submit just for this. But with a small shake of his head I felt my stomach drop. “I coveted all that was yours, that was why I dared to raise my sword to your walls. That desire doesn’t dissipate with chains, even if all means of achieving have all been thwarted. I’ll covet anything of yours, including whom you consider a whore.”

There were mixed reactions from the crowd, some enjoyed the speech and laughed with the King; others screamed profanities and wished death upon him. Ultimately the King silenced them, approaching the rail to appear before his people. “I like your spirit, it would be amusing to have the fallen Prince a puppet in my hands. Very well, I’ll give you the opportunity to lay claim… eventually. I’m eager to see just how far you will go, to have what is mine.” He continued on, giving a speech to the crowd to draw today’s activities to an end.

“You’re insane- going to get us both killed.” I hissed out, shocked he would do this. “And I’m not an object for you to have!” Guards approached to escort us out of the arena, but I stormed ahead, shaking my head at the man who had a half smirk on his face, and humor glinting in his eye.

What is going to happen now?

_____________________________________________________________

Masterlist | Next

taglist (to join): @lelaleleb / @ammystri / @candypop1611 / @inkpot-winters / @avantalem / @piratequeen-queenofgames /

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slightlyaggressiveaffirmations · 1 year

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So, Slightly Aggressive Affirmer, what's your whole deal?

Great question, Clive.

(Sorry, I thought you were some sort of chat show host called Clive. Let me readjust my worldview)

Great question, friends. Why did I write Aggressive Affirmations in a consistently reliable, ritual manner for 5 years and then stop doing it and constantly keep coming back and promising to start again and never making good on it?

Well. There are actually 3 answers to that question.

Answer #1

To begin with, let's reposition our worldview - just as we did with Clive. Now, let's change the way we see me, The Slightly Aggressive Affirmer. What if we put a new filter over me - we'll call it the "Autism Filter". I haven't got the money to go through the diagnosis process but it's looking pretty likely.

With that filter on, look again at my being absolutely focused on writing affirmations for 5 years and then stopping to suddenly focus obsessively on my research work for the next 2 or 3 - except for the two months I took off to sit on the porch every single day and write a medieval romance novel.

Now I want to get back into affirming again and I try to - I still feel it's important and I keep saying to myself I'll do it - but I just don't have that obsessive drive to do it anymore.

I think if we look at this with the autism filter, it starts to paint a pretty clear picture of what might be going on here...

Answer #2

It became more and more difficult, and more high stakes to write affirmations, as the number of followers kept growing. There are now 15000 - although who knows how many of you are still on Tumblr? But that's a lot of responsibility and it became very stressful to keep making sure SAAs are for everyone and that no one feels excluded by them (excepting people who should always be excluded, like Nazis). When it was just a few random people reading affirmations, it was much easier to chuck in a few and whatever. But the more the blog grew, the greater the stress.

Answer #3

I started writing Slightly Aggressive Affirmations for myself. I was the only one following the blog and it was set to send ME reminders of my own value - in the kind of aggressive language necessary to get through to me - because I was extremely low on confidence and needed real force to get it in to my head. But then things snowballed.

Thing is - I don't need them any more. It's harder to think of the kinds of things I should write, because I know longer need them myself. I have Slightly Aggressively Affirmed myself to a really great place, in terms of my self confidence and self love. I still have bipolar, and right now my life isn't going so great, so I get depressed but I do not believe fundamentally, at my core, that I am bullshit trash.

My primary emotion nowadays is possibly worse! I'm driven by anger a lot of the time - I've got a lot of deep rage, caused by long ago trauma. (I'm in therapy, don't worry). But I think most people would agree that I'm a fundamentally different person to who I was pre-pandemic. I'll tell you more about it some time. But I am drastically different - and definitely more than SLIGHTLY aggressive most of the time.

In conclusion, I believe affirming used to be an autistic special interest of mine and now it is not - but I'd love to make it one again! Especially now my two-year long, 65 000 word research project is finished. But it's much harder to get back to where I was, because the number of followers I have now is different, Tumblr is different and I am hugely different as a person.

Thankyou for reading this short essay/memoir. I'll see what I can do about a little affirming tomorrow.

Always remember that YOU MATTER!!! YOU ARE IMPORTANT!!! YOU ARE THE ONLY FUCKING YOU IN THE WHOLE DAMN WORLD!!! THINK ABOUT HOW FUCKING MAGICAL THAT IS!!!

#admin note

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viivdle · 2 months

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it's been a long time coming..

Dancing With Our Hands Tied (Jurdan's Version) with @annamatix <3

part 1!!

"I, I loved you in secret" is one of the many lyrics you don't need to use metaphorically for them to fit. he *did* love her in secret, and he hid his feelings with every action he took.

"First sight, yeah, we love without reason" we get a description of what he noticed first when he saw jude, and he was (very obviously, might i add) star struck. he didn't have a reason to be attracted to her. if anything, it was the opposite. his whole life he was taught to hate mortals and find them repulsing, but something about her was different.

"Oh, how were you to know?" i think sometimes cardan regrets his actions. he would do it again just to have the same outcome - being with jude. but i think he regrets how long it took because it cost them valuable time together. even after his feelings were clear, he did things that prolonged the time until they got to openly confess their love.

"And my, my love had been frozen" with everything in his life growing up, nobody reciprocated the love he tried to give, so he locked his heart away the best he could. he tried to freeze it so it wouldn't get hurt, but people still found ways to shatter it.

"Deep blue, but you painted me golden" cardan had a horrible life, nobody needs reminders of it. it's in everything he says and does. she ultimately saved his life in more ways than one. this can also be taken literally. "but you painted me golden" fits the scene in which jude struck him and smeared gold over his face, but that's just a funny thing to add. another way to interpret it (i'm already getting unhinged with this) is that he was with nicasia before he was with jude. not only were they bad together, which painted him blue, but nicasia is the princess of the undersea, nicasia is the deep blue that was replaced with gold, jude.

"Oh, and you held me close. Oh, how was I to know?" it's no secret that jude can lie. and that she takes great advantage of that ability. even after everything, i think cardan still had doubts about her love for him because she *could* be lying. he's very self-destructive and thinks little to nothing of himself. "it is a shabby, worm-eaten, and scabrous thing" is only one of the many admissions to it, verbal or not. while he knows jude loves him, but can't be certain.

"I could've spent forever with your hands in my pockets" screams cardan. he thought he was uncapable of being loved, and she proved him otherwise. he loves with all he has and all he can give, and when he got a taste of what it was like to be loved, he never wanted to let it go again. he would've spent forever with her hands in his pockets, and he would've been happy to do so.

"Picture of your face in an invisible locket" i love love LOVE this lyric, and cardan would too. as i said, he loves with all his might, and he proudly does so. he would 100% wear a locket with a picture of jude in it, nobody questions that. he would love it even more if the locket was invisible to show everyone who has his heart. in the standards elfhame sets, he shouldn't feel proud to love a mortal. he is anyway and after finding out how it feels to love her, he stops caring about it and he would scream it from the top of every building in the kingdom.

"You said there was nothing in the world that could stop it" need i remind everyone of when he was a serpent and knew nothing, not even himself (yes, i'm repeating myself again) but he knew jude? nothing in the world could stop his love for her, literally. and it most definitely something he'd admit to jude.

"I had a bad feeling" has so many meanings for me, looking at it and trying to connect it to cardan. literally, hate is a bad feeling - and he felt it for jude. a lot. cardan, despite his very inflated seeming ego, is extremely anxious when it comes to jude. not only is she the only family he has left, she's the only family he ever had. yes, he had his court. yes, he had a complex relationship with the people in it. yes, said relationship also included love. but no, it was never pure love. jude and cardan's story is anything but pure. it's tainted, bloody, cursed... but their love? it's the purest love in his life.

i know this is very, very long, and i doubt anyone's read it - but stay tuned for the rest of my version and anna's post on her account<33

#it's been over a month #it's been a LONG time coming #cardan greenbriar #jude duarte #jurdan #the cruel prince #the wicked king #the queen of nothing #tfota #the folk of the air #holly black #taylor swift #jurdan songs #taylor swift analysis #tfota songs #tfota song analysis #idk how to tag this ahhhh!!!!@#how the king of elfhame learned to hate stories #htkoelths

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misseviehyde · 1 year

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CHIP SWITCH

"Are you sure it's safe to do the swap here?" asked Joe nervously as Violet giggled and played with her hair - checking the chip was securely implanted in her neck and hidden away.

His hand went reflexively to his own neck where an identical chip was now implanted and hidden by his own hairline. It was still a little sore and felt strange and unfamiliar.

"Don't be such a fucking pussy, no one ever comes into this alleyway. No one will see us bodyswap and the process should be almost instantaneous."

"Remind me again why we are doing this?" he asked nervously as she fixed him with a steady stare and stuck her tongue out at him before answering.

"We're doing it because that jerk boyfriend of mine... your best-friend is being a fucking douchebag. I want to know whether he really loves me and as you're too chickenshit to find out for me - I'm going to need to become you so I can judge for myself. There's something... weird... going on with him."

Violet and Mason had been dating for a year now and she wanted to know if the relationship was serious or not. How such a hot popular girl could be so insecure Joe didn't know. He thought that Mason was head over heels in love with her, but she didn't seem sure. She had been bugging him for weeks to tell her - and what Violet wanted, she always got. The only problem was she didn't trust his judgement and now wanted to see for herself.

Luckily her rich well-connected Father had access to some rather unusual government technology and she had used her bratty wiles to get it from him. He couldn't believe mind swapping technology was actually real - but here they were.

"Now remember," she grinned. "I need a couple of hours to speak to him, so you get to be me for that time. No touching my boobs or taking off my clothes though. If you bump into anyone I know try your best not to embarass me, and stay off my phone. I don't want you looking through my messages."

Her ground rules established Violet took a deep breath and reached up to her neck to check the chip one last time. Then opening an app on her phone she held her thumb over the screen

"Ready?"

He nodded.

Violet pressed the button and they both gasped as the world span. The chips in the backs of their necks went warm and crackled as the swapping process activated. There was a curious feeling of weightlessness and suddenly sensation returned.

Everything felt... wrong.

Joe could smell flowery perfume and taste cherry lipgloss. There was a piece of bubblegum in his mouth and his centre of gravity felt weird.

Looking down he saw two firm boobs pushing out from his chest and when he moved his head soft silky brown hair swished around his neck. His new tits jiggled and wobbled slightly as he took a deep breath and used painting purple nails to move his hair out of his face.

His hips felt too wide and he could no longer feel his dick. It was just... gone..

The world looked different too. He was smaller now, his POV had changed. He was looking out through long lashes and was no longer tall enough to see as far.

Opposite him he could see his old body checking itself out. It was surreal to see himself fully from the outside. Did he really look like that?

"Violet? Is that you?" he asked, almost shocked at the sound of his new voice. It was so silky and sexy - unbroken and clear.

"Of course it is you idiot... though you should call me Joe now in case anyone is listening. Ughhhh your body feels weird. Strong though, I like these muscles. Have you been working out?"

"A little I guess. Ummm thanks," he squeaked in his new feminine voice. "So what now?"

"You go enjoy yourself whilst I meet Mason. Spend as much as you like, my credit card has unlimited spend. See what life is like for a hot girl for a change. I'll meet you back here at 3 to swap back. Don't be late."

With a wink, Violet turned his body around and marched it off... slowly growing in confidence in her new movements.

"This is fucking weird," mused Joe. He looked down and oogled his new tits again in amazement. If she didn't want him to look at them, where was he supposed to look?

"How does she get anything done with these things?"

Opening Violet's phone he curiously looked at the control app for the chips. It was a simple interface - but he noted there were additional options she hadn't used.

Violet had selected the body-swap button, but left the other options unticked. Personality swap, memory swap, sexual orientation... there were so many options that she hadn't selected he wondered what they all did?

It was probably a good idea not to mess around with them.

"Well - guess I'll hit the shops for a few hours then."

**********

Looking at himself in the shop mirror - Joe couldn't believe he really was Violet now. Like most boys at school, he'd been crushing on her for years and had been insanely jealous when his best-friend had hooked up with her.

Being inside her body was amazing... but he was getting so turned on looking at himself in the mirror that he could barely stand it. He ached to go into one of the changing rooms and touch his new body... but he really couldn't. He had promised Violet he wouldn't.

Instead he tried on trainers. He knew Violet had an obssession for fitness gear and as she had already told him money was no object.

It was definitely fun to parade around and be a girl - shopping was definitely a more fun experience as a hot rich girl... but even with the best will in the world he was now starting to get a little bored. Opening Violet's phone, he wondered where she was with Mason.

Seeing she had set up a tracker to see where they went, he noticed to his surprise she was back at the alley an hour early or at least Mason was. Weird.

Grabbing his new shoes Joe decided he would sneak along and see what she was up to.

***********

Creeping stealthily down the adjoining alleyway, Joe could see through the rotting hoardings. In the deepest part of the alley where it was most secluded, Mason was standing next to a dumpster - his face a mask of ecstasy.

Joe felt his heart pounding and his mouth dropped open. On her knees before Mason, in HIS body - Violet was busy sucking Mason's cock.

"Mmmmmh, I knew this is what you wanted," she gasped happily. "I knew you were gay all this time."

"How could you know Joe...? I've been hiding this for years."

"Let's just say I had a hunch. No straight guy eats pussy that good. Now I know you are for sure - I can dump... I mean you can dump Violet and be your true self."

"Wait - but she'll be devastated."

"She'll get over it. I heard she only liked you for your status and big cock. She's a very shallow bitch you know."

She got back to sucking.

"I can't believe you're gay too Joe."

"Mmmh let's just say this isnt the first dick I've sucked. Never thought I'd be doing it like this though. Kind of a good-bye blowjob."

Joe watched, feeling used and betrayed. Now he understood... that entitled bitch Violet must have suspected Mason was gay. That was why she had wanted his body so badly.

Gritting Violet's pretty teeth together he watched her sucking. The bitch was planning to switch them back in thirty minutes. His and Mason's relationship would be ruined forever. Joe didn't care that his friend was gay - he would have accepted Mason whatever. He did object to being used though by that bitch.

He ached to teach Violet a lesson and he knew exactly how.

*********

Violet was enjoying sucking Mason's dick in Joe's body. Her own new dick was rock hard and she was impressed at how aroused her former boyfriend was.

She'd always wondered how gay sex would feel.

Suddenly her eyes widened and Mason's cock flopped out of her mouth. Joe was walking down the alleyway with a bitchy expression on his face and Mason yelped as he saw him.

"Violet. Oh my GOD. How did you get here? This isn't what it looks like."

Joe sneered and held up Violet's phone. "You fucking bitch. You like being a boy and sucking cock so much... maybe we should swap lives?"

"Wh... what are you doing? Don't be stupid, you don't want to be me. You're bluffing!"

"Oh yeah?"

Joe stabbed the personality transfer button. The chip on his neck sparked and crackled and he moaned and gasped as he felt his head itch.

"Noooooooo!" screamed Violet as her own chip sparked.

Mason looked in confusion at the two of them. "What the hell is happening? Violet what are you doing?"

"Fuck that feels GREAT!" laughed Joe from Violet's body. He suddenly held himself in a much more feminine way and his eyes sparkled with wicked mischief.

"Mmmmmh it feels good to be a fucking bitch," laughed Joe. "You tried to use me - but once I swap all our memories I'll be the new you and then you and Mason can become the perfect couple since you like sucking his dick so much."

Reaching down with a purple finger nail - Joe pushed the memory swap button and began to cum as all of Violet's memories became his...

"Yessssss make me into you forever! I FUCKING LOVE IT!"

Mason watched in perplexed horror as his girlfriend and his best-friend shook and moaned... till with a groan they both passed out...

Now what was he going to do?

***********

Violet opened her eyes.

Was she... was she back in her own body?

Then again... was she even her? Walking over to the mirror she saw that she was in her luxurious bedroom. Mason must have carried her home. The chip in her neck was still there, but pulling it out she saw it was burned out and ruined.

"Am I me... or am I Joe thinking he is me?"

Violet considered for a second - then shrugged. Did it really matter? She was the one in this body with these tits and these delicious memories.

The only thing was... she really wasn't feeling attracted to boys right now.

Going to her window she saw Mason sat in his car with Joe next to him. They were holding hands and chatting.

She smiled. Guess that answered her question. Maybe things were just better this way...

#evie hyde #m2f transformation #m2f caption #m2f body swap #tg bully #bitchification #m2f corruption

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this-is-all-unreal · 11 months

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My Dear Friend

Part 3

Part 2

Part 1 and summary

I tucked myself as far under the desk as possible. As the men spoke.

"You sure you want to adopt another kid? You just met her and you just adopted Tim."

"Dick, just wait till you meet her. She needs some help. 5 families in 3 years she needs some stability and I have all the resources she could ever need."

"If you are set on this I know I can't stop you I'm just worried. You probably scared the hell out of her with the suit."

"I don't know about that. Just meet her and you'll see what I mean. Come on, we can change once we are down there. I just left her. She should still be sl-" he stops speaking abruptly. I hear some shuffling and then I hear the office doors close. My heart begins to pound. I didn't even have any time to process the adoption comment. Maybe they left, why would he just stop talking like that? I slowly crawl out from the desk but before I could make much progress I feel someone jump on me. I scream at the top of my lungs as I try to buck him off of me. I'm not sure but I think we rolled a few times over each other. I even heard a laugh come from my attacker.

"Cut it out you two." I hear as I'm flipped on my back. I pant staring up at a tall man in a fancy suit. I blink for a few seconds before sitting up to see a man, no maybe he's a boy. He was younger than the taller man. He was chuckling. He was the one who attacked me. I pushed myself away from him.

"Sorry about that. I was trying to grab you but I thought we were playing." He said as he sat on his knees in front of me. "I'm Dick." He adds as he holds his hand out to me. How on earth did he think we were playing? I was screaming for my life. I look at his hand and stand up. I press myself against the wall behind me wishing I could melt into it.

"Margaret, do you know who I am?" The taller man asked.

"It's Batman. Batman is rich? I guess that makes sense."

"B-batman" I squeaked out looking up at him. He almost looked surprised but smiled.

"That's right." He says. He looked proud. "I wouldn't have left you down there alone if I thought you were going to wake up anytime soon. You only slept for an hour." He looked back at the grandfather clock hatch. "How did you get out?" He asked as he touched the bent exposed metal of the frame of the hidden door.

"Felix did it. I didn't know he was going to." I say quickly not wanting to be blamed for it.

"Who's Felix? And how did he break that thing open?" Dick says as he points to the hatch.

"It's alright Margaret. It all can be fixed. Well now that we are meeting officially face to face, I'm Bruce Wayne." Bruce holds his hand out to me with a small smile. I knew that name somehow. My stomach growled loud enough I knew they had to hear it and I was reminded how hungry I was. "You probably are hungry. You were down there for almost a day and Arkham isn't known for its food. Follow me. This is a good opportunity to show you the kitchen." Bruce said as he started to open the doors and walk out. Dick got up and followed him. I waited for a second trying to make sense of it all meanwhile Felix was screaming at me about the circus. He picks the most random things to fixate on.

I soon walk with them out into the hall. It was like something out of a movie. The ceiling was high and the long rug on the floor was probably the most expensive looking thing I had ever seen. We pasted many busts and paintings of people who looked just as fancy as the house. As I walked I could feel Felix tailing close behind. He wasn't going to miss a moment of this. We reached a kitchen the size of the last home I was put into. There was an old man standing at the oven with his back to us.

"Alfred, this is Margaret. I told you about her." Bruce says as the gray haired man turns around to greet us. He had an apron on that said kiss the chef.

"Oh hello Miss Margaret nice to meet you." He says before turning back to the meal he was making. "Do you like steak?" He asks.

"Yes." I say shortly. In truth I don't think I had ever had steak before but of course I knew what it was.

"Well good it should be done soon. Take a seat." He said motioning to the long line of stools at the bar. It almost looked like it could be a diner. I climbed up one of the stools as Bruce and Dick followed. I wasn't sure how to react. I didn't know if I should trust any of this.

"You look bored. Just wait till Tim gets home from school. He's around your age and he has lots of game consoles. You guys will get along great." Dick says as he leans on the counter to look past Bruce.

"Will Master Jason be joining us for lunch?" Alfred asked Bruce as he started to lay down plates in front of us. I stared down at my plate. I wasn't even sure if any of this was real. I have had very vivid hallucinations before. Maybe I'm still at Arkham in a bed drooling on myself.

"Just put his lunch in the oven. He is probably still sleeping." Bruce responds. A well done steak is placed on my plate, the smell pulled me from my thoughts. I grabbed the fork and knife and started to try and cut my steak. Without saying anything Bruce took his knife and fork and started to cut up the steak. I should feel embarrassed I needed help cutting a steak but I was too hungry to argue. He cut some pieces up and then started to eat his own food. I gave him a small grin before trying mine. It was incredible. I thought with how hard cutting it was it would be hard to chew but it practically melted in my mouth I smiled and started to eat quicker.

"This is great as usual Alfred." Dick said in between chews.

"It's just something I whipped up. He said as he spooned some potatoes onto our plates. I wasn't sure if he was a butler or a chef but he seemed really nice.

"What nice people, what do they want with you?" I ignored him as I continued to eat. This food was probably the best I have ever had. While I worked on the potatoes Bruce cut up the last bit of steak.

I finished my food first. With a full stomach I could think better and my mind came back to what they were talking about in the office. Adopt I didn't want to be adopted. Could he even do that? Should I bring it up? Before I could say anything Bruce began to speak.

"You really do like steak. Well that's good. Great source of protein. Do you want to see the family room next?" He asked as he cleaned his mouth on a cloth napkin. I stare at him blankly. I wish I could say what I was thinking but it was like I couldn't speak at all let alone say anything useful. "You will like it." He said as he stepped off the stool and thanked Alfred before ushering me through two large double doors.

"Wait up guys!" I heard Dick yell from the kitchen. The walk seemed so long. Each room was more extravagant than the last. Finally we reached a huge room filled with books and sofas. There was a flat screen up on the wall and under it must be the game consoles Dick was talking about. There were even toys in a fancy wooden box and smaller easels with art supplies on the table and a yoga mat of some kind. The windows were ceiling to floor just like the offices.

"What do you like to do? We have something for everyone." Dick says as he runs and jumps on one of the sofas. He grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. A loud gun fight was playing on the TV when it switched on. I screamed and turned around to look at it horrified. He fumbled with the remote as he tried to turn it down. "Sorry sorry! Must have been Jason in here last." He said with a chuckle. I looked back at Bruce. He was already looking at me.

"Go on, make yourself at home." He said as he walked to the other sofa and sat down. I slowly walked over to the box of toys. Maybe he has younger kids as well. Dick was way too old for these and if Tim was my age he's too old for them as well. Maybe Jason is younger. I grabbed a turtle figuring. I held onto it as I moved to the bookshelves. I never was a big reader but some of these books looked so old.

"Now's your chance ask Dick about the circus. Go on he loves them!" I looked at Dick who seemed distracted by the movie. "No go ahead he will be so happy about it. Haly's was his favorite as a boy."

"Hey Dick? What's so special about the Haly's circus? Does it have elephants?" I knew I was tricked as soon as I saw his face.

"Excuse me?" He asked as he looked back at Bruce then to me again.

"Dick, she-" Bruce was interrupted by Dick.

"What do you know about it?" I stood there frozen. Felix was laughing as I racked my brain trying to think how to make it better.

"I um Felix said you liked them." I said which only made my friend laugh even harder. My face got hot as I felt myself become embarrassed.

"It's alright Margaret." Bruce said as Dick turned and looked at him. He had a look of betrayal.

"Yeah it's alright. I'm just gonna go to my room." He said quickly changing his face back to the more cheerful one he had all day. He got up and left.

"I'm sorry I thought he liked the circus. Felix said he did."

"It's okay. He does like the circus. It's just a bittersweet place for him. So this Felix, you said he knows stuff? How does he know these things?" Bruse asked

"I think he just kinda knows. I never asked. He used to not lie so much though." I say as I look down at my feet feeling guilty for listening. "Sometimes it's hard not to listen to him. Before I know it I'm doing what he said."

"Like an intrusive thought?"

"I guess he gets mad sometimes if I don't listen as well." I look back up at Bruce. He looked like he was thinking.

"When did he start lying?"

"When the Jeffersons gave me back."

"I see, that was the family who raised you right?" I nod, I try not to think about them. Whenever I do Felix gets agitated. "Do you think he misses them?" Bruce asked

"No, he's mad at them. He said it's all my fault but he says that alot."

"And Felix has been with you your whole life?"

"I think so. Mrs. Jefferson said he was my imaginary friend but he doesn't feel imaginary. He feels more real than anything else sometimes. He is real." I say as I clench the toy turtle tighter in my hand.

"I understand he feels real but is he?" Bruce asks but as he does a pair of kid scissors come flying at his head. He ducks and they stab into the wall behind him.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry he didn't mean it!" I say running behind Bruce and grabbing the scissors. I hold them close to my chest so Felix wouldn't try and take them back. Bruce turns around to look at me. He's so calm for someone who almost lost their eye.

"Okay Felix I understand you are real. I was just making sure. It was rude of me to press the issue." Bruce says to the air as he sits back in his seat. He didn't seem scared or like he was trying to appease Felix. I slowly walk back in front of him and push the scissors under the sofa seat as I sit down. "Does Felix need food, a bed or clothes?" Bruce asks me with a straight face. Not a hint of mockery. I shake my head no

"He doesn't like food and I don't think he needs sleep. I have never noticed him sleeping.

"Well that's easy enough. Any toys or games he likes?"

"He's not a child."

"I thought you couldn't see him?"

"Sometimes in my dreams I can."

"What does he look like?" He leaned forward, interested in the answer. I went to answer but the words wouldn't leave my mouth. I just shook my head. I looked down at the turtle in my hand and smiled as I set him on my knee.

"Do you like turtles? That was mine when I was a boy. There should be a whole set of reptile figurines in there." Bruce says with a grin. I was thankful he could pick up on that I wasn't able to tell him, I couldn't really talk about what Felix looks like.

"I do like turtles. They are cute. I like that anywhere they go, they have a home. They are lucky little critters."

"That's true I never thought of it like that. Speaking of homes, have you thought about where you will go after we sort this all out?" I shrug. He had to know I heard him and Dick talking about adoption.

"Real subtle. Tell this freak you're not interested Margaret. I wanna leave."

"I heard you and Dick talking when I was hiding in your office. I don't want to live here. I just want to be left alone." I say as I look away from him. Bruce nods like he understands. He puts his hands in his lap and wrings them together as he thinks. He almost looked sorry.

"He's already made the calls. We're never leaving this prison." I try to stay calm as Felix runs through the worst outcomes possible.

"The problem is Margaret, I have already contacted the adoption agency. The paperwork is being pushed through as we speak. I was hoping you'd like it here and ask to stay." Bruce said in an empathic voice. The remote was thrown at the wall so hard it shattered into pieces. My head felt like it was going to explode. I put my head in my hands and pressed on it, scared it would burst like a dam. "I know you are upset but I also know you will be happier here, safe. We can protect you, you can be a norm-"

"Stop talking!" My voice almost didn't sound like my own. I felt like my throat was closing but it didn't matter, I couldn't take a breath anyway. More things started to fly in Bruce's direction. I felt tears roll down my face. I didn't want him to be hurt but I was so mad he did this. I could hear Felix talking. I wasn't sure what he was saying. "Why would you do that! Leave me alone! Get out!" I wasn't sure where that voice was coming from. It wasn't mine, it was too deep, too raspy but it was my words. I felt a hand rest on my shoulder. I looked up and Bruce had stood up and was looking down at me completely calm as many of the items in the room spun around the room circling.

"You do what you have to but I'm not going to leave you alone like this." He batted away the occasional object that broke free from the circle. I looked away from him trying to calm myself down as Felix continued his fit. I rubbed my eyes trying to dry my tears. I choked back a few sobs as the circle of projectiles slowed and fell to the ground.

"I don't want to stay here." I say in a whimper of a voice.

"I understand. We will work it all out. The weather is going to get bad tonight, there's going to be a lot of snow. I'd feel better knowing you weren't wandering the street cold or worse." He said as he put his hand on my head to fix my hair a bit. I couldn't argue with that. I couldn't stand being cold. One night won't hurt. I nod still sniffling.

"I'm sorry about the mess." The room was in shambles.

"It's okay, just needs to be picked up a bit. Do you want to help me clean it up?" He asked as he kneel down and started by handing me the small toy turtle. I grabbed it and nodded. We slowly picked up what we could. Some things broke. I felt so bad, something like that normally doesn't hit me so fast. I wouldn't let Felix know this but Bruce almost made me feel brave enough to tell Felix off. I foolishly thought he could somehow stop him. I love my friend and don't want him to leave but he can be scary.

Looking at Bruce now without the mask he seems so normal. No one would ever guess what he did at night. His eyes even change when he's Batman. He's completely unrecognizable.

The room was mostly clean now. Some time had passed and we sat in the family room in silence together. It was nice, I was thankful he didn't seem phased by any of it. Part of me wondered how much he could handle. Would he really want me around if I cried all night and kept everyone awake, or if I locked myself away for days. What if Felix hurts me. Can he be so unflinching if Felix hurts one of his other children. I don't see how he can justify the risk for a complete stranger like me.

#dc comics #bruce wayne #platonic batman #slight yandere #yandere batfam #oc stuff #alfred pennyworth #fanfic

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allaboardthevespa · 2 months

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All I've Ever Needed

(Warning, some mild spoilers for episode 3 lie ahead in this preamble)

Soooooo episode 3 happened, and honestly, I don't know how to feel. I LOVE where Riya's arc is going and Jake also calmed down, which is good to see. But god Miriam did Tom dirty this ep, and I am kinda starting to worry about Ellie's arc. I mean, if she's doing a villain arc, fair enough, but I'm worried for what this will mean for her friendship with Gabby - reminder that Ellie was the first person who ever made Gabby feel valid? I really don't want things to go awry between them but I'm worried it's an inevitability...

So to cheer myself up I wrote an adorable fluff ficlet featuring them being romantic, cuz I've been starved for that content lol. It's probably not very in character for Ellie knowing what she's been through, but I need some touching cuteness.

Oh yeah, Tess is here too.

Outside the Cyan Team's tent, Tess was drawing a night sky. She gazed towards the heavens, and painted drops of white to represent the twinkling stars above her.

Watching her from within the tent, Ellie and Gabby decided to go out to watch their friend.

"Wow, Tess," Gabby chirped as she stepped outside the waterproof tent, getting Tess' attention, "That's such a pretty drawing! You're so good at this!" "Thanks," the dark-haired girl responded with a smile.

All of a sudden an idea appeared in Tess' mind. She took a pale white paint and streaked it gently across the dark blue background, before dabbling a tiny dot ahead of that white streak.

The girls didn't take long to register what Tess had just painted. "Wow," Ellie spoke lightly, "Is that a shooting star?" "What else would it be?" the artist chuckled quietly, before looking to the skies once more, admiring the twinkling stars above her. "Even after a life like mine, I've still wished on a shooting star every time I've seen one. Maybe it's futile, but it's a source of comfort. It always has been." "Aw, I do the very same thing!" giggles the Polish girl, "Every time I see a shooting star, I wish that I could make friends with every animal in the world and make them all happy forever!" She clapped her hands giddily, and Ellie couldn't help but blush at how adorable her girlfriend was being. It felt like, even after the life she'd been through, Gabby's infectious joy was always capable of making her rough life worth dealing with.

Calming down, Gabby sat on the grass and asked Tess, "If you could make a wish right now…what would you wish for?" "Well," the quiet girl considers for a moment, before giving her answer, "I'd wish that Ally and Hunter could find a way to work through their issues and be happy. That's what I want most." Now the Asocial turned to the freckled girl, "What about you, Ellie? If you could wish for anything…what would you wish for?"

Ellie thought for a moment, and soon came up with her response…

"Honestly? I don't need to wish for anything," she said, "Right now, I have everything I want and need." "Wait, huh?" Gabby gasped, "But what about your jo-" Ellie cut her off, giving her girlfriend a warm, loving smile. "That'd be nice, trust me…but I already have everything I could've ever needed in my life…" And with that, Ellie gently put one of her hands on Gabby's cheek, stroking it gently with her fingers. She gazed deeply into the eyes of her beloved Tree Hugger - her one and only Nature Princess.

"And she's right here in front of me."

#disventure camp #disventure camp all stars #disventure camp gabby #disventure camp ellie #disventure camp tess #ellabby #gabellie #spoilers #disventure camp spoilers #mild spoilers #my writing

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earlyevenings · 1 year

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104 days. mc/suresh

hi, so umm i stayed up late last night and got this idea and for some magical reason actually managed to complete the writing and make it look like *something*.

so i present to you a fanfic i wrote at 3 am last night. i tried to explain what i think went thru suresh's mind after the break up. forgive me if it's a bit ooc, but i needed to feel things lmao. heavily inspired by Joji's "Glimpse of us".

cw; mentions of intercourse, nothing too explict

104 days.

It’s been over a hundred days since the last time I saw you.

A hundred and four to be exact.

A hundred and five days ago I made the biggest mistake of my life. A mistake that I’ll never forgive myself for. A mistake that cost me the best thing I have ever had.

Even now when I’m laying naked on her bed, I can’t think of her as anything else than that- a mistake. She’s on my right, softly caressing my cheek, her breathing still shallow after our last round.

God, I feel so dirty. Sleeping with her always brings back memories of that night. The tears in your eyes when you looked at my phone, the look of betrayal and hurt painted across your face, me on my knees begging you to stay with tears streaming down.

You didn’t.

But I can’t stop doing this. She’s the only thing tying me back to you. When I let her go, I’m going to have to accept that I’ve lost you for good. There will be nothing left. I refuse to believe that I’ve thrown everything we had away for no reason, so I’m doing my best to convince myself that life with her can replace life with you.

She turns my head in her direction and kisses me so hard my lips feel bruised. I look deep into her eyes and somehow her face morphs into yours. I do that sometimes when I need to remind myself how it felt to hold you in my arms.

Not that it ever works.

She feels different. Her touch is foreign. Her voice is foreign. Even the way she breathes is foreign. I see her mouth move and I know she’s talking to me, but I can’t bring myself to care. I’m too busy remembering the way your cheeks would always turn the sweetest colour of pink after a kiss. The way your lips would plump up ever so slightly while you tried to catch your breath. The way your nose would crinkle in embarrassment whenever I pointed that out. God, I’d do anything to see you do that again, at least once. I never thought it was possible to miss someone as much as I miss you.

She shakes my shoulder and asks if I’m okay. That pulls me back to reality. I mutter a quick ‘I’m fine’ and tell her I’m tired. Lying through my teeth seems like the only thing I’m good at lately. She believes everything I say so easily, it was never like that with you. You could always see right through my bullshit, always knew when I tried to hide that something was bothering me, even the smallest things. I wonder what you would say if you saw how much your absence bothers me. How much it hurts me to not be able to see your beautiful face every day.

Would you even care?

I close my eyes when I kiss her goodnight. I give her three kisses, one on the forehead, one on the tip of her nose and one on the lips. Just like we always used to do. She cuddles up to me and I spoon her from behind. Her body doesn’t fit mine like yours did. We were like two puzzle pieces, together we completed a perfect picture. I take a deep breath and squeeze her waist, awaiting the sweet sigh that would escape your lips every time I did it, and it breaks my heart when it doesn’t come.

I need to remind myself that she isn’t you. That she’ll never be you, And that no matter how much effort I put in, she’ll never replace you.

But when I try hard enough I catch a glimpse of us, the one that makes it easier to pretend that you’re still mine, and I’m still yours.

#fuseboxgames #angst #litg #litg fanfic #litg suresh #litg s5 #litg mc #love island the game #litg ff #litg season 5

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acaplaya-musings · 2 months

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Voiceplay Visuals: Queen In 5 Minutes

This is one of those videos where I'm gonna have to remind myself to not talk about the music, because Queen is awesome, I know quite a decent amount of their songs, and this arrangement/performance is really freaking good. But the video itself certainly isn't boring either (Freddie would be proud), and I'm very excited to talk about this one, so let's go! (Yeah this one's a long one, you have been warned)

Apparently this video (released on the 24th of November, 2018) was at least in part inspired by a health scare that Earl had while touring with Voiceplay, which no doubt was very distressing for all of them, but he obviously was fine or got better, which I'm glad about, and this video is creative as heck!

Won't talk about their appearances just yet, but of course I gotta point out the iconic Bohemian Rhapsody diamond configuration thing!

Cool necklace! I don't know the exact meaning of it, and whether or not it was just acquired for the video, but I do know that the album/track image for this cover on Spotify takes inspiration from it!

(Also this song is split into two parts on music streaming platforms, idk why)

*(clapping my hands together)* character time!

I have no clue what mythological being Layne's character is meant to be based off of, if any - "Guardian" is a bit of a vague name after all - and the main thing that popped up when I typed "mythology sentinel of the underworld" into Google was Cerberus, the three-headed guard dog from Ancient Greek myths. And well... it'd check out actually. Layne doesn't talk/sing in this video (not counting vocal percussion of course), he's wearing a big furry grey coat, and none of the other 3 are from Greek (or even Roman) mythology, so it's entirely possible that "Guardian" could just be a human-form Cerberus (minus the two extra heads).

Apparently "Yama" is the Hindu god of death and justice, though he was also adopted into Buddhist, Chinese, Tibetan, Korean, and Japanese mythology as the king of hell, so-

A 19th-century painting of Yama on his mount depicts him as completely blue, so Eli's blue face paint definitely fits.

("Dark angel" definitely sounds fitting)

Geoff is based on Baron Samedi, who is a spirit (Iwa) of the dead in Haitian Vodou, as well as of course the more well-known Louisiana/New Orleans Voodoo. Fun fact: Dr Facilier in The Princess And The Frog is partly inspired by Baron Samedi!

I'm sure most if not all of us have heard of Anubis, but regardless, Anubis is the Ancient Egyptian god of funerary rites, and he's also a protector of graves, and of course, a guide to the underworld. He can take both human and animal form, and in artwork is often depicted with the body of a man and head of a jackal/canine animal (which Voiceplay subtly refers to in this shot here with the little Anubis Shrine statue sitting next to J)

Cool and Normal! 😆

(Also really love that jacket/blazer)

"Anubis" is of course weighing Earl's heart against a feather to see whether or not he is worthy of ascending to the heavenly afterlife. And since the heart appears to be slightly lighter, he's good! (Not that he's actually ready to pass on, though)

(Also, from a production viewpoint, I'm guessing they had some small stones or counterweights hiding underneath the feather?)

...Not gonna say anything, just putting this here

Love how "Baron" glances at his cane as if to check for any dirt or smudges from Earl 😆

(Geoff still has that cane I believe; when he did a few Q&A/"how to sing low" videos on his channel back in 2020, the cane was just chilling in the background, behind where he was sitting in his home office/workspace)

(Also obligatory he's so handsome/pretty aaaaaaa)

The body language of "Anubis" here when Baron starts talking (i.e. when Geoff starts singing), and the way that he, "Yama", and "Guardian" are all at one end of the stage, while "Baron" is on the other, says so much in such a small way! (Geoff once again getting to be Special(tm), love that for him)

"I've done my sentence, but committed no criiiiiiime!"

Cool necklace! (Also really love the subtle red edging/trim on his blazer/coat, very cool and gives me Crowley vibes)

While I'm talking about Geoff, time for another hair study!

(This one I actually used separate screencaps for the outline and for the colour grabs)

Wasn't even trying to pause in this shot but pfft Eli/Yama and J/Anubis doing the 🤏 thing

(Also kinda sorta another Eli Eyebrow raise?)

Baron: *(evil laugh)*

Anubis: OHKAY it's getting a little tense in here, time to lighten the mood a little bit!

Baron: wow rude

Anubis: here hold this for me thanks!

Guardian: wait what am I meant to do with this?

(Though I'm pretty sure that's meant to be his sword anyway?)

"Nooo time for looosers"

Fight! Fight! Fight! (Eli/Yama: "I'm three ounces of whoop-ass")

Love the facial expressions here, Anubis/J looks like he half-wishes he had popcorn! 😂

Thumbnail moment! (Or close enough anyway)

Yama singing "I don't need you" to Baron and Baron doing a sort of sarcastic "haha very funny" head motion in return, love it

Not talking about the arrangement but I'd like to thank the Good Omens fandom, because I wouldn't have recognized/known the bridge of Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy in this medley otherwise (I didn't first see this video until like a year or so after it first came out)

If you ever wind up in hospital, don't actually try to rip out IV drips or cannulas or any other tubes connected to your body!

If I had a nickel for every time a different member of Voiceplay played air guitar in a video, I'd have at least four nickels! (Earl here, Cesar in Hellfire, Eli in Top 10 Sitcom Themes, and Geoff in at least three or more videos (maybe 5 if we count J None in the Frozen 2 Medley))

Full-body group shot! (Also Eli, those shorts and those shoes are... an interesting combination that's for sure 😅) Also check out the body language of Baron/Geoff and Guardian/Layne!

There's a comment or two that sums up "Guardian's" body language as "I don't actually want to hurt you, but I will if I absolutely have to"

Love "Yama's" expression right before he's turned into a puff of smoke 😆

Baron was on Earl's side the whole time!

It would have been cool to have Baron bow out himself and be like "you did well, you can go on living now", rather than being poofed away like the others, but eh I'm sure Voiceplay had their reasonings

I would post a pic of the final shot, but Tumblr isn't letting me (I'm guessing I hit an image limit, rip). But still, it's very cute and sweet.

There's a reason why so many people adore this video/cover. The arrangement is stunning, the vocals are great, the costumes are cool, the makeup is really well done, and the whole plot/direction of the video is such a creative and original concept! Shoutout to Layne and Eli, who were in charge of both the video and the arrangement!

#voiceplay #acapella #queen medley #queen in 5 minutes #geoff castellucci #eli jacobson #layne stein #j none #earl elkins jr #earl elkins #acaplaya analysis #voiceplay visuals

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