Essential Avengers: West Coast Avengers #15: the LADY... or the TIGRA
December, 1986
Hawkeye: “The cat people are tearing Master Pandemonium limb from limb!”
Wonder Man: “Demon from demon!”
Hey. Hey, Wonder Man.
Did you feel good being pedantic like that?
Make you feel like an important part of the conversation?
Anyway.
Last times in West Coast Avengers: Tigra’s cat soul is out of control and she’s just been acting way too horny. Yes, out of all the behavior peculiarities of cats, this book just leans way into ‘cats be horny.’
Imagine if instead of wanting to hump every man, Tigra had an irresistible urge to leave hair all over everyone else’s clothes.
Tigra and the West Coast Avengers go visit the cat people responsible for Tigra becoming Tigra and the cat people cat king secretly promises her to remove one of her souls if she kills Master Pandemonium for him.
She promises but she’s been a lackadaisical cat about it. Plus, Master P is a slippery eel who keeps hidden.
While researching demon stuff, Hank Pym accidentally aggros Alletou, a powerful demoness who thinks Hank is working for Master Pandemonium. So she kidnaps him and Tigra.
The West Coast Avengers come to rescue them and Master Pandemonium tags along to get a chance at Alletou but she dumps all of them on a boat in a river and they’re stuck on the boat because its a hell boat.
Stuck until the hell boat makes hell port somewhere.
Which brings us to now.
Since they have nothing better to do while trapped on a hell boat, the heroes talk.
Iron Man mentions how his digital watch says they’ve been on the boat for three days but he doesn’t feel hungry or sleepy at all.
Hellstorm (actually Diamon Hellstrom in a shitty disguise) tells Iron Man that time is weird in hell and to “forget all your technology!”
Which is a rude thing to ask of Tony Stark.
Technology is all he’s got.
Hellstorm isn’t interested in all that though. He’s interested in Tigra because his Hellcat wife’s cool cat suit was originally made for Tigra.
Greer Nelson recaps that she tried to turn into Tigra last issue but couldn’t probably because hell rules. Like the hell rule that hell keeps you from your most fervent wish so it didn’t let Tigra become Tigra, proving that she really wants to be Tigra. Or something.
Hellcat tries to tell Greer that being just a human person isn’t so bad but this causes Greer to explode at her.
Greer Nelson: “What do know about it, Hellcat? That suit you’re wearing was designed for me -- I understand the difference between real powers and artificially-induced ones!”
Hellcat: “What? You were this suit maybe half a dozen times, then turned into a Cheshire Cat as Tigra -- mostly going -- while I put in solid years with the Avengers and the Defenders!”
Oh great, a cat fight.
Granted, Patsy has a point. She’s made the suit her own.
Also granted, Greer is under a lot of stress.
But less granted, her idea of a solid dunk on Patsy is to say that she sucked too much to get on the West Coast Avengers.
Ah, Greer. You know the West Coast Avengers is shit at recruiting. Patsy not being on the team doesn’t mean anything.
Hellstorm gets bored of two women talking and decides now he’s interested in Master Pandemonium.
What’s the idea sitting quietly and behaving??
Master Pandemonium mentions that even being watched by Iron Man and Wonder Man, he could destroy the West Coast Avengers and guests if he but wished it.
Which is something a lot of villains claim, for reasons of protecting their self-esteem.
But Master Pandemonium bickering with Hellstorm does remind Mockingbird to ask about “the Five”
The term has been sprinkled about during Master P’s time in the plot. Its that thing he’s looking for without explaining anything about what it means.
So time to explain. Can’t keep spinning your plot wheels. Progress, damn you!
Master Pandemonium does decide to spill the beans but only because it doesn’t really matter and won’t help the heroes so why not.
If you remember Master Pandemonium’s amazing backstory of drunk driving off a cliff and getting his arm ripped off, the occult dabbling actor promised his soul if his arm could be restored.
Mephisto showed up, I guess not having anything better to do despite ruling a hell, and took the case. By replacing the guy’s missing arm with a demon. And since he was on a roll, he also ripped off the guy’s perfectly healthy limbs and also replaced them with demons.
Actor guy passed out from the pain and wakes up the next morning thinking the whole thing was a weird nightmare until his arms rip open his pajamas on their own volition to reveal a star shaped hole in his tum tum.
Mephisto walks out of the mirror to explain the other half of Master Pandemonium’s backstory.
Despite disdaining the idea of taking actor guy’s soul, since he had so many souls, Mephisto found a different, more trolly use for it.
He’s split it into five pieces, gave the pieces to some demons, and had them hide them in ALL OF REALITY.
Its a fun scavenger hunt!
Just find and reassemble your soul! The soul you bargained away with very little hesitation but are now desperate to get back for some reason!
Maybe because you don’t want the food to fall out when you eat. Hey, that’s a good legit reason to want a soul.
My favorite part is when this idiot (apparently named Martin) asks this Totally Satan guy why he’s playing games with his soul.
Martin. Guy. You dabbled the occult. Did you not run into the universal truth that Mephisto is an asshole at any point?
Anyway, the real answer Martin Pandemonium gets for his dumb question is:
“Because you said you’d do anything to be saved -- and believe me, to get your soul back from the horrors I gave it to, you won’t be able to stop at anything! You’ll become the grandest villain the world has ever known -- as you strive for your redemption -- and that’s the kind of bargain Mephisto loves!”
The idea is sound but like. Master Pandemonium. Is a good effort. But far far far from the grandest villain.
Then again, maybe that’s what Mephisto is pulling on Doom. A big part of VICTOR VON DOOM’s motivation is that Mephisto has his mom’s soul and it has driven Doom to become a villain keeps eating cosmic powers.
Master Pandemonium even lampshades that after all the off-panel robbery and murder in his villain career, he’s completely failed to even get a lead on any of the Five Demons That Mephisto Gave a Soul Chunk To.
Actually, that’s related to my other favorite thing, although its to come at the cost of a really dumb plot. Mephisto, of course, completely lies when he’s setting the ground rules.
Anyway.
Master Pandemonium tells the heroes to not get in the way of his soul quest but Hellstorm doesn’t really care about his threats because at last an interesting topic of conversation. He starts telling Master P about how his tragic origin reminds him of an investigation he made in Austria.
Hmm. So. Like. Master Pandemonium is a huge dick.
But maybe the best solution to the problem of him being a dick is to help him find his soul chunks so he’ll stop causing trouble.
I can’t believe I’m saying this but potentially good job Hellstorm.
Anyway, then the hell boat crashes into a wall blocking the hell river.
Except its a magical wall and the hell boat goes right through and into the land of the cat people.
Apparently the cat people’s Land Within is part of hell.
Greer freaks out because the cat people aren’t supposed to be demons! So why is their land connected to the hell river?
But Master Pandemonium senses one of his soul chunks and gets all excited.
The cat people row out into the river to tow the hell boat to shore (this part of the hell river doesn’t cause you to combust if you touch it, conveniently).
The West Coast Avengers and guest stars and temporary teamed up enemy are soon surrounded by cat people warriors. Who are very irate.
The spokescat yells at them for coming back when the Avengers should know they don’t like outsiders, for bringing Master Pandemonium who the cat people all agree is a massive dick, and knowing that the river of oblivion led to the cat world like seriously Avengers what’s with that? But most insultingly, look at the Tigra not being the Tigra! This is somehow the Avengers’ fault!
Greer tries to explain that she’s not Tigra because she couldn’t transform in hell but then realizes that maybe that was only Allatou’s realm and manages to transform into Tigra.
Tigra: “See, boys -- everything’s okay! Your legendary were-woman’s back!”
Although, she really only transformed so the cat people would settle down a little.
Patsy starts worrying that if the cat people are demons then the Hellcat suit is maybe super cursed or something since they made it.
Hellstorm goes no, its not evil or possessed or anything. Because he’s been sharing closet space with it and probably would have noticed.
But anyway, its time for him to flex his demonology muscle.
Hellstorm: “These outworlders are under my protection, demon!”
A cat person: “We respect your reputation, Hellstorm -- but anything you need protect them from has yet to be decreed by our king!”
You respect his reputation?
He’s been using this identity for, what, a month??
Anyway, again, point being that nothing can be done until they all go to see how angry the king is going to be with the happenings.
Tigra decides that means they have nothing to worry about. The king is her friend! They came to an understanding!
A cat person asks what kind of understanding and Tigra suddenly remembers that the West Coast Avengers are in earshot and vaguely mumbles something about quid pro quo.
Which just makes Hawkeye suspicious. Although he was suspicious the first time they left the cat world and he didn’t do anything about it then.
Hawkeye: “Honey, did you ever have one of those days when everything seems to go wrong?”
Mockingbird: “You mean like the day we got married -- ?”
Oof.
Unless she means more generally the events of the Hawkeye limited series before their marriage. Didn’t happen on the same day as the marriage but she and Hawkeye did beat the shit out of each other during that series.
Wonder Man points out that he wasn’t present during the first trip to cat world but he can probably get them out of whatever trouble since he’s so super strong. Patsy just tells him to wait and see how things play out first.
So despite the king being Tigra’s supposed “friend,” he is sure pissed off about seeing the Avengers and Tigra and especially Master Pandemonium.
Cat king: “So -- the facts in this case are clear! I break our cardinal rule to allow you Avengers to leave the land within alive -- and you repay me by recruiting three new members, two of whom we know to be opposed to our kind -- ! -- And you attempt to attack destroy us!”
Hawkeye: “Have you been smokin’ the kitty litter again?”
Cat king: “You deny it? Then why pray tell have you brought our most hated enemy here? Master Pandemonium should have been dead by now, if the Tigra had done as she promised!”
Wuh oh.
Cat spilled the beans like it was a glass of water on a counter.
Reaction from the Avengers is.... I’d say overall negative.
Despite Tigra saying that it’s okay to murder bad people for personal gain, the West Coast Avengers don’t really go for that line of thought.
In fact, they seem to think that Tigra has betrayed not only the ideals of the Avengers but also some of them, personally.
Hellstorm is the only one that comes to Tigra’s defense. Although its less her defense and more telling the Avengers that they’re right but to ease off.
He actually sympathizes with Tigra. Her situation of having a cat soul trying to convince her to murder and be horny is similar to his situation where he had a darksoul and it made him super dramatic and kinda dickish.
Master Pandemonium feels uncomfortable when we are not about him and tells the cat king that he doesn’t give a shit about Tigra. He knows a chunk of his own soul is here and he wants it.
The cat king acknowledges that he does have a chunk of Master P’s soul and that he keeps it in a nice, decorative jar.
Since Master Pandemonium’s story had Mephisto say that he gave the soul chunks to demons and since the cat people have one, Tigra finally believes that the cat people are demons.
Which... yes and no. But mostly yes.
The story the Balkatar told her was mostly true and the cat people weren’t demons... at first. But being exiled to one of the pockets of hell turned them into demons.
ANYWAY, that’s not really important. Its more like furiously stitching plot threads together. The important thing is that the cat king still has the power to remove one of Tigra’s extraneous souls and that she still needs to kill Master Pandemonium to get that prize.
Since the secret is out and the damage is done, Tigra decides she has nothing left to lose by doing a murder and agrees to go to the arena to do a murder at Master Pandemonium.
Who is pretty confident in his chances, actually. Overconfident, I’d say.
Master Pandemonium: “I warn you, majesty -- I’ve beaten Tigra and all the Avengers three times already! Whatever you may be planning, I plan on winning again -- because its worth my soul!”
So... Two things Master Pandemonium.
One: you “beat” the Avengers in the sense that they weren’t able to beat your ass before you ran away. Yes, you weren’t a pushover in those fights but those fights ended with you running away. That’s not going to serve you here.
Two: the cats don’t play fair.
Cat king: “Go on, Tigra! We’ve made it as easy as possible for you!”
The cats pull out the demons that make Master Pandemonium’s limbs and hold them at bay so he’s just a defenseless no-limbs guy.
The Avengers react in disgust that the cats want to kill a defenseless man, even if he is Master Pandemonium and Wonder Man wants to interrupt this execution but Patsy Hellcat tells him now still isn’t the right moment.
The king apparently overheard that because he tells them that there isn’t a right moment for them and urges Tigra to just do Master Pandemonium a murder like she promised.
Master Pandemonium: “Do your worst, were-woman! He who must be Master Pandemonium will face his end like a man, whatever his state!”
Tigra: “I -- I told you before -- I have to do this -- !”
But she can’t.
She refuses to compromise her Avengers values actually!
So the cat king revokes her cat privileges.
He uses the soul jar to yoink the Tigra soul from Greer.
Then the cat king tells his cat people to throw soft, squishy human Greer and throw her and her friends in the cat brig.
And the cat people do.
Where the Avengers are all very proud of Greer for not doing a murder.
Hank Pym: “Each time I think I can’t get prouder of you, you get even better, honey!”
Well, Hank Pym is, anyway. The Avengers are more preoccupied with the situation. I’m sure they’re proud though.
Mockingbird does ask why Greer looks so bummed if she’s freed of the Tigra soul like she wanted.
Greer Nelson: “We’re all on a menu, and you’re short an Avenger --”
Hellcat: “Maybe not, cat-lady!”
And Patsy starts taking her clothes off.
As far as she’s concerned, this plot is Greer’s to resolve. And she’s more familiar with the cat people and this city (like by an hour) so maybe its time for Greer to once again become...
THE CAT!
... I don’t remember if you, the audience, have the context for that.
So before she was Tigra, Greer was the Cat and wore the Hellcat suit before Patsy slapped the Hell onto the name.
And that clears up that.
Anyway, the Balkatar returns to the cat people cat palace from some task in the human world and the king gleefully informs him that the Tigra he likes so much refused to do a murder.
The Balkatar does feel thats a shame, he quite liked Tigra but not much he can do if she was disobedient to the king.
But the king also mentioned some new Avengers (but not New Avengers. But hey, I’d rather have had Tigra than Wolverine) and the Balkatar is curious about that. The kind mentions one of them was a woman in a yellow suit with blue claws.
The Balkatar: “WHA-AT?!! Just because I’m the only one who ever gets to the outworld, am I the only one who knows who that is?”
Apparently!
Greer shows up, in her original the Cat outfit again, beating up a couple guards so she can make her entrance.
ALSO, she busted out the West Coast Avengers and guests too!
... I guess Patsy is just going to be spending the conclusion to this story in her underwear. Couldn't even lend your wife your cape, huh, Hellstorm?
I wonder if this is going to be a one-off Greer the Cat thing or whether that’s going to be how she continues as a hero with her cat soul gone.
If that does come true, sucks for Patsy, I guess.
Anyway, since there aren’t a lot of named cats for this catfrontation, the Avengers West and guests mostly fight nameless cats while The Greer Cat faces her boy toy the Balkatar.
He doesn’t want to fight. He doesn’t want to be her enemy. He wants to remind her of the good times they shared when they lay upon the rocks. It was the “most golden afternoon” of his life. And he hoped that it was the start of something that would grow into something great for both of them.
So, yeah, he’s trying to seduce her a little.
But while the Balkatar would rather make love than war with the former-Tigra, Greer has lost her horniness and would rather kick his ass.
So the Balkatar turns off the charm and turns on the shit talk.
He asks if she thinks a silly suit will make her as strong as she would have been as the Tigra?
Maybe he’s negging?
Greer Cat exposits that the suit amplifies a woman’s strength but that it’s especially designed for her.
So despite the Balkatar shredding the suit somewhat, Greer Cat ties him to a pillar with the suit’s cable claws.
I’ve got to wonder how the suit works. Is it technological or magical? Are the buffs it provides diminished by the suit being damaged?
Ah well.
The cat king is surprised, maybe impressed even, that Greer could beat the cat champion since never in his lifetime has he ever seen the Balkatar defeated.
But on the other hand, the cats still outnumber the Avengers ten-to-one so, uh, just keep going guys.
One of the cats suggests giving Greer back the Tigra-soul so that the two souls thing will confuse her. I mean, sure, she’s stronger as Tigra than she is with the suit but uh.... it’d confuse her!
I think this random cat might be an idiot.
Either way, Greer decides to react before the king can take the suggestion or not.
She shoots her cable claw at the jar... and pulls it off the throne, breaking it. But the Tigra soul beelines right for Greer.
The cat king claims that the Tigra soul has gotten even stronger while its been in the jar. Sure. But Greer was wearing the Cat suit, which made her human half stronger.
And... uh... I guess her human soul and Tigra soul fused together.
(I wonder if that was the intention of the Cat suit...)
So she gets a power boost from even her previous Tigra form (and a tail!) but she’s fully in control of herself.
This is mostly making me realize that Tigra didn’t have a tail before. Which feels weird.
Well, I’m glad everything is working out perfectly for Greer and will work out perfectly forever and she won’t lose control of her catness again and have to be put into a cat carrier. Everything is going to be great.
Sucks to be Patsy though. Greer shredded her outfit.
I know she has that same outfit in current times so I wonder when she gets it back.
Apparently, she gets a magic version of the outfit that she can manifest at will after she dies, goes to hell, and then gets rescued from hell.
Anyway.
The cats decide they couldn’t possibly fight the Tigra so she tells them that they’d best let her and her friends go home then.
Like a sneaky guy, Master Pandemonium took advantage of all this distraction to get his demon limbs back, sneak up behind the cat king, grab the other soul jar, and smash it to get his soul chunk.
Which he then shoves into the star shaped soul hole on his tum tum.
Which just. Like. The soul chunk is a triangle so it fills in a triangle but it looks bad. C’mon. Balance the star. Make it a four point star. It doesn’t have to make geometric sense, its magic.
I wonder what having one-fifth of a soul feels like.
Anyway, Master Pandemonium being Master Pandemonium, he delivers a big speech about how this doesn’t change anything. He and the Avengers will still be enemies when they meet again. But he’s vaguely grateful to them.
Hawkeye asks him why he thinks he can just walk out of here so Master Pandemonium jumps over the balcony into the river of oblivion and swims away.
He’s not swimming away all that fast.
The Avengers could totally just go and grab him.
But Hawkeye decides nah.
They’ll probably get another chance as he continues causing trouble on Earth but heck the guy solved one part of Mephisto’s scavenger hunt. Let him have that victory.
Hawkeye: “Anyway, our very own Tigra is probably five times that happy, since she got an entire soul outta the deal, an’ right where she wants it! Uh -- it is Tigra now? Not Greer?”
Tigra/Greer: “Both! Either! There’s no difference any more!”
As for being trapped in hell, well the West Coast Avengers know the spell to get home from specifically the cat world within so... let’s call it a day and have a barbecue?
That’s the West Coast Avengers’ thing. They barbecue. Thanks for inviting us to barbecue at your house, Hellstorm.
Hellstorm: “What?”
Hawkeye: “Hey, we got an Avenger back today, and that means we’re celebratin’, and when you’re with the Whackos, that means Hawkeye the archer’s world-famous barbecue!”
Tigra: “I’m ready, boss-man -- if I can have a hot dog!”
I can’t believe we got an everyone laughs ending! My god!
Soooooo.
Tigra’s arc.
If it ends here, please god let it end here, it was rough. I didn’t like it. Kind of like the resolution though. Lost the Tigra soul, shoved it back in, fits better now, also level up a few times. Got a tail. Stronger Tigra.
An ideal outcome, don’t you think?
Follow @essential-avengers because we’re going to be getting through the Siege of Avengers Mansion for a while. Like and reblog out of relief that the horny Tigra arc is over.
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