hands off ⎜m.barzal
pairings: mat barzal x reader
prompts: "can you please come get me?" + "Don't fucking touch what isn't yours."
warnings: mentions of stalking? ⎜drunk people ⎜reader is uncomfy ⎜
word count: 1.4k
note: I got a lot of request for Mat so I decided that these two go well together and ended up combining them. Requests are open!
(UNEDITED)
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The party was supposed to be fun.
It was supposed to be a good way for you to find new friends - to bond with some of the other wags.
And sure the night started out fun.
“I promise they’ll take good care of you, it’s just dinner and some drinks.” Mat had assured you as he watched you pull on your coat, the oversized denim jacket holding in any warmth it could manage, stopping the slight tremble of your limbs at the winter cold.
Moving to New York had been a big adjustment, especially in the dead of winter. Mat had talked to some of his teammates, hoping to be able to set up a girls night with some of the wives and girlfriends on the team to help you adjust to being in a new city, to help you make some new friends to keep you company when he was away so often. All the girls were quick to agree, adding you to the team group chat to discuss the details.
“I know, but it’s been so long since I’ve gone out and my sister warned me about the bars around here.” You respond as you glance up at him, pulling your lip between your teeth.
You wanted him to comfort you.
To give you a reason to cancel.
Or to say he would come with you.
Meeting new people was terrifying.
“I swear it’ll be fine, just message me when you’re ready and I’ll come get you.” You nod slowly at his words, leaning up on your toes to press a soft kiss against his cheek, Mat giving you a big smile as he pushes you lightly towards the front door of the bar, leaning against the side of his car until the front door closes behind you.
Mat was right.
The night started out fun.
But things changed so quickly.
“Hey, you’ll be right to head home on your own right?” Anders asks, his wife draped against his side, a drunk smile on her face as he holds her steady with one arm around her waist. “Mat’s on his way?” He questions, you don’t really respond, just giving a tight smile.
You had messaged Mat.
You swear.
Anders pats your shoulder softly, before dragging his wife out of the club, trying to avoid her incessant affections. You watch as they leave the constantly filling bar, the crowds of people getting louder, more boisterous as the night carries on. The others had been picked up earlier by their partners, each whisked off in a slightly tipsy haze.
You had been left on delivered for the last thirty five minutes.
And there was no sign of Mat responding anytime soon.
“He’s probably fallen asleep.” You reassure yourself, you phone showing a time of eleven forty eight pm, way past Mat’s normal bedtime.
Letting out a long sigh, you push away from the spot at the bar, grabbing your jacket off the back of your chair, slinging it over your shoulders, buttoning each button tightly before hefting your purse up on your shoulder.
Your apartment wasn’t far away.
The walk would have to be brisk with the cold seeping into your bones, but it was do-able.
You smile softly as the door managers as you exit, crossing your arms over your chest with your phone tight in your hand as you start walking down the block.
You can hear as they exit behind you.
The four men bustling amongst each other.
Each of them daring the other to close the gap.
You type quickly on your phone, pressing the cold glass to your ear as the dial tone rings in your ear.
You dare to glance back, the men pausing for a moment, discussing something between themselves.
“Baby?” Mat’s voice is groggy, coughing a few times as he repeats, “Baby, are you there?” You catch yourself nodding in response - despite the fact that Mat can’t hear you - your free arm tight around you as you speed up a little more.
“Can you please come get me?” You ask softly into the phone, you can hear the rusting of a blanket and the padding of Mat’s bare feet on your apartment floor as he moves around the rooms.
“Where are you?” He asks quickly, “Are you safe?”
“Like five minutes from the bar, I thought I could make it.” You continue, your body jumping as you hear the footsteps close in.
“Hey, wait.” You hear a voice call out from behind you, the man's voice slurred slightly, his friends egging him on.
“Who was that?” Mat asks, the jangling of his keys ringing through the phone. “Are you walking?” He asks again, his voice deeper, more gravely, the easiest to tell that he was angry.
“You weren’t responding.” You justify, “It’s only a fifteen minute walk, I thought it would be fine.” You hear Mat let out a cuss, the words sounding far away. You can hear his fingers swiping on his screen before he swears again, the sound of a grunt a thump before his voice is close to your ear again.
“I’m on my way - stay on the phone with me, okay?” You nod again, glancing once more over your shoulder the men are closing on you now.
Mat’s breathing heavily into the phone, reminding you to keep walking.
He’ll be there soon, he promises.
The hand lands out your arm roughly, your body swung around to face them.
“I asked you to wait.” The man groans, he couldn’t have been more than mid twenties, you wish he knew how scared you were right now.
“My boyfriend is on his way to come get me. I’m not interested.” You speak confidently, you can hear the muffled sounds of Mat saying something into the phone, but you can’t make out the words, your arm dropping to your side as the man's friends stop around the two of you.
“Let me go.” You say, firm in your words.
“But you haven’t even heard me out yet.” The man whines, his tone similar to that of an upset child. “Please give me a chance.” He whines again, his hand still clamped on your arm. The man is clearly drunk, his friends goading him on.
“I bet she’s lying.” One says.
“She probably doesn’t even have a boyfriend.” The other adds.
“Show her what she’s missing out on.” The last one says.
The man in front of you pauses, his eyes flicking over your shoulder, heavy steps stopping behind you, the man’s hand loosening slowly.
“Didn’t your mothers ever teach you boys manners?” Mats voice hisses from beside you, his hand reaching out to close around the drunk stranger's wrist, the man releasing you quickly.
“Don’t fucking touch what isn’t yours.” Mat sneers, his body moving in front of your as he pushes the man away from the two of you.
The men are smart.
They retreat quickly, excuses falling from their mouths.
“Sorry man.” One sighs.
“Didn’t mean any harm.” The other adds.
Mat glares at the back of them as they stumble back down the street to the bar, their attention finding some other people to focus on.
“You ran all the way here?” You ask.
“Yes.” Mat responds.
“Are you mad at me?” You question quietly, Mat’s chest heaving, as he runs his fingers through his hair.
“What?” He asks, spinning on the spot to face you, letting out a long sigh as he reaches for you, his arms wrapping around your head to pull you into his chest, his hands stroke your hair as he lets out another long breath.
“I’m mad at myself.” He says quietly. “I told you I would come get you as soon as you messaged and I was an idiot and fell asleep.”
“It’s okay.” You grumble into his chest, your words muffled by his thick hoodie.
“I was so scared.”
“So was I.” You agree, pulling your head away from his chest to look up at him, smiling as you pull yourself out of his arms, reaching to latch your hand in his as you pull him to start walking besides you.
“I can’t believe you ran all the way to help me.” You chuckle softly, finally tucking your phone back into your pocket, the danger ebbing away as you watch your boyfriend's shoulders slump as he shakes his head in disbelief.
“I can’t believe I did, either.”
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Cna i... Can I ask what the beef is with M Night Shyamalan?
fair warning, this is a self-indulgently long post. but if you endure the page break, you may find the story entertaining.
a long time ago...in a small indie comic book shop in downtown Philadelphia...
picture this. it's circa 2016. my hyperfixation at the time is DC Comics-- the Flash specifically. I like the Flash, but I really like his nemesis, the Reverse Flash. This guy's gimmick is that he has the same powers as the Flash, but he's also evil because he used to be a Flash stan and his idol didn't validate their parasocial relationship when they actually met in person, and now he just wants to kill the Flash instead. It's a long story. Reverse Flash has died many times. He's also from the future, but that's not the important bit right now.
Anyway, despite being one of the Flash's main enemies, there are not that many comic book issues that feature the Reverse Flash for some reason. My main hobby at the time of this whole ordeal is to go to the local comic book shops and search through the bins of back issues to find anything with the Reverse Flash in it (bonus points if he's on the cover, but at a certain point you can't be picky). I'd been fairly successful at this, and had even been able to avoid buying too much off Ebay as I really didn't care too much about the condition or grade of the comics. The comic book shop in downtown Philly I was in on the day of the Incident was one I'd been to before, but not in a while as I went to school out in the suburbs and didn't leave that general area too much.
So. I enter this shop, and it's not too busy. That's a good thing as it's not a large space and if there were too many people it would have been very difficult to navigate around the displays of Funko Pops and tables of back issues. However, as I was soon about to find out, it doesn't matter if there's only one other person shopping at the same time as you if that person is the wrong person.
I make my way to the back where all the big boxes of old comics are, and scan the rows alphabetically to find the 'Fs.' I see 'Firestorm,' and 'Fantastic Four,' and all the others...but there, right there, where the Flash comics should be...there's a guy. Standing there. In the way.
Now, that's alright. He just seemed to be perusing randomly and wasn't actually looking at the Flash comics specifically (my Flash comics), and I can just go look at the action figures or something until he moves to another section of the shop. No problem. I mean, it's one box of comics, Harold. How long does it take to look through it? 5 minutes? No, all I have to do is wait a little bit and then I can examine those 1980s Flash comics with my own grubby little paws.
So I do a loop of the store. I examine the Funko Pops (they all look the same), the t-shirts (only Hot Topic quality), the new comics (Superman #1? How many times are they going to reboot this thing?), and even the super expensive vintage comics up on the wall (no Reverse Flash here, and it would still be beyond my price point anyway). But when I finally make my way back to the back issues, the guy...is still there. He hasn't moved. And now he's not even pretending to look at the comics anymore.
Now, to my horror, he seems to be having a full-on conversation with one of the store employees right on top of my box of comics, and neither of them seem like they plan to end this discussion anytime soon. You may be asking at this point, "well Raz, if you wanted to look at the comics where they were standing, why didn't you just ask them to move out of the way?" You're right. I could have done that.
But problem. I have social anxiety. And sometimes it gets very bad about very small things. So while it would have been entirely reasonable to ask these two men to move their conversation elsewhere, the crippling social anxiety made it so that asking for that very small and reasonable thing would have been akin to asking these guys if they would set me on fire right here right now, please and thank you. It wasn't gonna happen. My only option was to hover uncomfortably 6 feet away, pretending to go through the back issues systematically and hope they picked up on what I was doing and moved out of the way when I got back to the 'Fs,' or give up and suffer an hour and a half on the SEPTA train back home with nothing to show for it.
now, i've never had a conversation with famous filmmaker and director M Night Shyamalan. I didn't even know what he looked like at the time, so when all this happened I thought he was just Some Guy who in his unawareness was keeping me from completing my mission. Maybe he's a really engaging conversationalist and talking with him causes you to not notice anything going on around you. That may even be the case-- as neither the Twistmaster himself or the besotted store employee seemed to notice I was there. But I WAS there. And my frantic silent social cues were being "returned to sender," unread.
Meanwhile I was enduring a level of internal turmoil on the level of a character in a Greek tragedy. This was my crucible. Surrender, or do something I was honor-bound not to do. Was this the meaning of an impossible choice?
It was only after almost 15 long, agonizing minutes and two more laps of the store on my part that finally, finally there was a breakthrough. Unaware Man (for this would be Shyamalan's superhero code name) and Employee-Bro had moved to the cash register, as the former had found something he wanted to buy. With speed rivaling the Flash himself, I descended on the fated box of comics like a plague. It seemed that the day had not been lost after all.
However, like any film from the man himself, there was to be a final twist to this tale. One last turn of the knife. You might be thinking-- "And it turned out that there weren't any comics in the box you wanted to buy after all, rendering this whole ordeal meaningless, right? Like any tragic hero you endured the terrible trials only to discover that the treasure you sought was a hollow fantasy of your own creation, and this all could have been avoided if you had not fallen prey to the follies of man?"
No. The problem was-- I did find several comics in that box that I wanted to buy. I even found one with the Reverse Flash on the cover. But now that I had found my prize, I faced a new, even greater challenge, which was somewhat an extension of the old challenge, but to the extreme.
I now had to get Employee-Bro to ring me up so I could leave this cursed place, but here's the kicker: I had to do this while he was still utterly engaged in discussion with Unaware Man and thus blind to the outside world. I had come out of the frying pan and into the fire, because now it wasn't like I could just go home and take only a feeling of defeat with me. My precious comic book finds were on the line, and what was I going to do? Just put them back in the box and leave?
Unfortunately, I was committed. I would have to stand reasonably out of the way of Unaware Man's personal space yet close enough to indicate that I was, yes, in line to check out my purchases. And goddamnit, I was going to do this until all of us died of old age or the world ended.
I kind of lost all sense of time at that point. It could have been only a few minutes. It could have been five hours. All I know is that it was long enough that I wished for the sweet release of death, because then at least I'd be able to lie down. How it eventually went down was that Employee-Bro rung up Unaware Man (because really, processing a credit card transaction and signing the receipt only can take so long), and the two continued to talk as Employee-Bro gradually gained awareness that I Was There Too, and multitasked to check out my items while remaining totally focused on his other conversation and not speaking a word to me.
And that was it. I was free, from the physical prison of the comic book store at least. But again, like a Shyamalan film, this was in reality only the end of the second act. Because as I walked through the streets of Center City Philadelphia and rested my head against the smudged window of the SEPTA train on the way home, I started to descend into the mental turmoil of the question, "wait, who was that guy? Was he like...famous, or something?"
If you've ever been to a comic con or spent enough time in a hobby shop, you know that sometimes Nerd Bros can get really deep into conversation about these sorts of things. Many of them even have lots of opinions on films, and will be happy to share them in detail unprompted. So it wasn't entirely unreasonable for me not to realize in the moment that what was happening wasn't just "Nerd Bros Being Dudes."
But the more I thought about it, the one-sided adoring dynamic between Employee Bro and Unaware Man did seem unusual. And in the bits of their conversation that I had been forced to endure, hadn't one of them mentioned something about...filming locations? What was that about? Nobody in their right mind films stuff in Philly unless they're making the 86th Rocky film or the like.
It was a Google search of "movies filming in Philadelphia" that returned several results of articles talking about how location scouting was going on in the area as part of the production of a long-awaited sequel to the 2000 film Unbreakable, a undercover superhero sleeper hit. Unbreakable, a film set in Philadelphia, written and directed by famous filmmaker M Night Shyamalan.
Shyamalan. SHYAMALAN. the man responsible for 2010's The Last Airbender. it was HIM. he was not only the man who originated the (still unbroken!) curse on the Avatar franchise, but also the man who had ruined my day. Thoughtlessly. Carelessly. Not by massacring a beloved children's television franchise, but by being unaware. Inconceivable.
This was horrific. It wasn't even like I was the Reverse Flash or any other famous superhero nemesis, who had a compelling backstory causing their undying hatred of the hero. Instead, I now had a narrative foil who barely even fit that description, because chances are he hadn't even taken notice of my existence the whole time! This was my supervillain origin story, and it was his normal day!
It was at this moment I swore an oath. I would not forget this terrible day of inconvenience that was partially caused by my own social failings. I would dedicate my life from this point forward to slightly narrowing my eyes and shaking my head disapprovingly when I saw mentions of Shyamalan or his works online. I would color any opinions I had of his films with the thought, "but remember that one time he was kind of a dick to you without even meaning it? what was up with that?"
and that is the tale of my tragic encounter with M Night Shyamalan. To this day, my only solace is that my epic origin story turned out more narratively coherent and with deeper substance than any other film made in the Unbreakable saga, including the one he was location scouting for at the time this happened. Shyamalan can write twists all he wants, but no one is better at that game than karma itself.
-END-
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RE: Ruidusborn superstition - It's weird because Matt has had several opportunities to make it about persecution and hasn't. Laura could've made it a stronger point in her backstory with Gelvaan and didn't. This rounding up Ruidusborn and throwing them in jail is a theoretical crime that a bad guy in a cult told them might happen.
Dealing with the unfair persecution of non Vanguard Ruidusborn in the fallout of this could be interesting to explore, but a) it hasn’t happened yet and b) still entirely the fault of the Vanguard for, ya know, all the crime. I just don’t get why some folks aren’t exploring the actual interesting conflict in front of them (i.e. being tied to something inherently destructive, your parent using you as a justification for her crimes, etc.) and instead make it about some secret twist coming that will totally make Liliana and the Vanguard “correct” actually in order to (I assume?) justify Imogen’s brief consideration of them and dunk on Orym for having the audacity to not be objective about the organization that killed his family.
Hey anon,
This is a very good point re: the actual conflicts present. I know I've been guilty of going hard on Liliana and the thing is I do find her a profoundly compelling and sympathetic villain. I think she was placed in an impossible position by Predathos imbuing her with troubling and at times painful powers; that despite having good intentions with regards to the nature of Ruidus (there is a lot of value in both studying it and in concealing its nature, depending on your perspective) people other than Ludinus were unable to give her answers and so she was easy prey for his cult; and she has since been driven by these motivations so far down the road of the Ruby Vanguard that even when the daughter she has believed herself for so long to be protecting tries to give her an out and asks her why she's doing this, she can't answer but is terrified of leaving. She is very sympathetic. She is very much a villain. And yes, I'll cover Orym in a second.
The following is, by necessity due to the nature of what I want to discuss, going to touch on some real-world politics though mostly in the sense of abstract strategy with very few specific actual positions. I want to note that we are talking about a fictional work here, and while I do have some presumptions regarding the people advocating for the Vanguard, they are just that - presumptions. I will only say that if this is how the people advocating for the Vanguard engage with people in real-world activism (if they partake in that in the first place), this may be a revealing insight into why they are perhaps less than successful.
Every argument in favor of killing the gods ultimately presupposes killing the gods is correct. They are all, ultimately, either tautological (we should kill the gods because they are deserving of death) and assume that the only objective conclusion is "we should kill the gods", therefore anything other than "we should kill the gods" cannot be objective.
I may be repeating myself since I've said this a lot since the last episode but: there as a truly bone-chilling lack of empathy in thestatement that Orym needs to stop bringing up his dead family and get over it and be objective (read: agree with the premise that the gods should be killed). Actually, if you are a person capable of perceiving others as people, you will likely realize that it is cruel and absurd to expect someone to say "this group murdered my family, but because they did so with the correct motivations, I shall stop mentioning it." As you indicated, it's bizarre that Orym is expected to set the wholesale murder - deliberately set up with no hope of resurrection, just to twist the knife - aside, but Imogen is never expected to set aside the (let's face it, extremely tenuous, given that Liliana's been absent for over a quarter-century) feelings about her mother, a person who recruits child soldiers, turned Vax into an orb, and is a general in the death cult that murdered Orym's husband and father. Like, in a real-world scenario, someone in Orym's position very well might have just left over this. Your friends keep failing to consider your trauma? Perhaps it's time to, painful as it may be, find friends who will be sensitive. [I don't want to focus on the shipping or character dynamic aspects with that particularly argument against Orym, but this is a fictional work and I do think another running theme in all sorts of discourse is that you do not need to justify your ships as logical, and when you do, you really do sound like "why doesn't Ross, the largest friend, simply eat all the other friends." There are logical reasons why Orym might not want to talk with, for example, Fearne or Ashton; but also the heart wants what it wants, and again, if you aren't truly ignorant about the way human psychology works you have to acknowledge that.]
Before I move on to other items I want to note I've as of late seen attempts not just to discredit Orym but to pathologize his behavior as self-harming or moral OCD or a failure to get fully over grief (again, an expectation that is not just devoid of empathy but also sets the standard of 'get over grief' as "agrees with me") and not just "hey, this group killed my husband and father in front of me and I understandably will not budge on this particular front. So there's also a growing ableist push, here, because someone doesn't agree with you and will not agree with you and also might want to kiss someone different than whom you want them to kiss.
As of late, the banner of those wronged by the gods has shifted from any of Bells Hells to those of Aeor, and that is a bad sign in a D&D campaign. If you need to set aside the PCs in order to rely on NPCs who have not shown up in the current narrative? You are clinging to a melting iceberg, my man. (More so after invoking FCG as one of the victims of Aeor's demise, rather than someone created to be used for malicious purposes by Aeor; and even more so after they destroyed themself specifically in heroic sacrifice to save the rest of the party from a Vanguard general.). But more seriously, the focus on Aeor feels reminiscent of advocacy for the unborn; or, to take a page from my own personal experiences and move this back into a fandom realm, the way people will frequently more loudly decry antisemitism for depictions of goblins than for, say, the fact that I don't know of an American synagogue that hasn't experienced a bomb threat in the past 10 years. It's very easy to advocate for corpses or fetuses over the living, or for fictional characters over real people who might be less than perfect. Much easier to ensure they never do such inconvenient things as disagree with you or have their own suggestions or be complicated. It hearkens back to some of the conversations I and others had earlier this campaign about a denial of agency because by making characters victims "stripped of choice," (always that phrasing) suddenly they can't do wrong. They make for a shit story, but at least you can feel morally pure about your flavorless cardboard that ultimately means nothing in-world or out. (And if they don't have agency, that means your morality pet can't run away. Or blow themselves up in a stunning rejection of your argument.)
Returning to the Vanguard: an ongoing discussion in activist spaces (and internet ones as well) is that there's a weird ignorance of optics as an important factor in activism. I know it seems frustrating - why can't people just see that this cause is just - but optics have always been a crucial part of any successful movement. I mean, even if you do believe that we need to do more to combat climate change - and I do - my, and most people's response to the environmental activists who keep throwing soup or paint on artwork is "ugh, this again?" I mean, functionally, while the cause is far more just, it's not terribly distinct from the weird-ass He Gets Us ad campaign; most people are going to say "and you're doing this instead of anything helpful...why?" The Vanguard's optics SUCK. Sure, they've fomented some unrest, but it is an unfortunate truth that the vast majority of people will prefer the inherent violence of a stable system that they are used to over violent unrest. For a successful coup or radical change, either you need to strike at the seat of power extremely quickly or you need to show that you are the more, for lack of a better term, civilized option, and the Vanguard has failed utterly in both these. You're going to get a few places like Hearthdell (though, really, how long will that last given that they got rid of the temple without a scrap of help from Ludinus) but you're going to get a lot of places where city dwellers say "ugh, these stupid crystals are so fucking loud, could this motherfucker shut up" and you're also going to get no shortage of places that say "my family member was taken in by this cult" or "these guys murdered my professor". The rightness or wrongness of the Vanguard's politics aside, a lot of people in-world are likely to side with Orym - these people are murderers who disturb the peace and we should stop them. The cause is lost. Is it, in some absolute sense, fair that people will judge you more for how you convey a message than what the message is? No, although if you convey it in rivers of blood, then, perhaps, yes. But it is, fair or not, often true.
Which brings me back to Orym. I think the reason people are stooping so low specifically to malign and discredit Orym is because he brings all of the above uncomfortably to light. He's aligned with Keyleth, who quite frankly until pretty recently was, within the fandom, partly as (understandable) backlash to the hate she received, and partly because she was, if nothing else, always portrayed as someone deeply attuned to the human costs, treated as a morally infallible authority; and she is no friend to the gods yet still believes their demise is far too great a risk to take. Again, thinking of yourself as Exandria's equivalent of the man on the street (Imahara Joe the Plumber?), are you going to listen to "those people killed my husband and father to prove a hypothesis so that they could tether the moon?" or "my mom, who left me when I was two years old and never came back or sent a letter, is one of those people?" And that's assuming Imogen's even going to make that argument, which, as her actions indicate, she's probably not going to. But most of all I think they really don't like that Orym isn't backing down from "That is the blade that killed my father and husband. She is not right." He's kept to this story the entire time, while the positions of others have evolved. And he's telling the truth. Every time he says this, I think anyone who isn't actually a complete black hole of empathy must confront how much of their humanity they are supressing just to make a poorly-argued point about a D&D show and I'd imagine that can't make one feel very good.
I think people are terrified of Orym's conviction, because he has shown, time and time again, that he is not going to be swayed. I don't think, in fact, that he's going to be swayed by seeing Aeor, should that happen, since Aeor was destroyed a thousand years before he, Will, or Derrig were born, and their murders failed to undo that harm in any way. A really good way to turn people away from your cause, even if it's a good one, is killing those they love. And again, it's fine if you see that position as unfair, or ignorant, or even amoral. It's also extremely true. And I think people realize it's true, given that the only defenses I've seen for Liliana have been "well, but she's Imogen's mother" and "well, it's shockingly easy for people to fall into a cult, because this has happened to my family members." Clearly, we agree that people will place personal connections and the pain of those close to them over ideology. Orym's is just really inconvenient for some people, and so he must be discredited.
In the end: the people in the story who at every turn choose manipulation, indoctrination, violence, subjugation, and conquest are saying "This is the way; you just have to trust me." Is it any surprise most people watching the show are saying "No, I don't think I will"?
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༺ ♱✮♱ ¨:·Something Stupid- Chapter 5·:¨ ♱✮♱ ༻
A/N- Hello everyone! Sorry this chapter took sooooo long to get out. I compensated in making it a bit longer than the usual chapters. I hope y’all enjoy :3
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꧁🥀☽💫✶♛🦢♕✶💫☾🥀꧂
“Well, did you enjoy that Emily?” You ask Emily as you both pass through the portal, and onto your porch.
“Yes! I finally get what you mean when you say Charlie and I are alike,”
“Sweetie, you are carbon copies of each other, it’s not that hard to come to that conclusion ,” You smile, and jump when you remember something.
“By the way, Sinners can be redeemed! I did some digging around a couple of days ago, but I forgot to tell you,”
For a moment, Emily becomes silent, letting the news sink in.
Shs squeals.
“Oh this is amazing! That means that-”
“That what, Emily?”
The voice of the Elder Seraphim makes you jump out of your skin.
“Hi, Sera, uhm just, er,” You lose face in front of Sera, but she is more looking at Emily than you.
“Where exactly have the two of you been? Emily I was looking all around for you today,”
“Oh she was just hanging out with me at my house today-”
“I didn't see you around at all today,” Adam pops up behind you.
Ah yes, him.
“Were you not out all day today?” You counter.
“Enough! I already knew that Emily was in Hell with you,”
Your mouth agape, you make an attempt to form a plausible excuse.
“I uh, just wanted to help out with the aftermath of the extermination and I just invited Emily along, please don't punish her, I really pushed her into it,” You grimace. Surely there’s going to be a berating headed your way.
Emily gives you a confused look, and you return it with a warning one.
“Whatever for? It's not like it works anyway,” Sera, despite spewing her bullshit, has her head up high.
The latter remark makes you stick out your chin, with a defensive attitude.
“Uh, yes it does, actually,” You smile innocently.
Sera’s face pales.
“What, what do you mean? Obviously, sinners do not have the capacity to be redeemed,”
“Yeah, the big shot’s right. Those little, dare I say, cunts have already fucked up their one chance, why give them another?”
Your ‘husband’ sides with the Seraphim, but Emily stays beside you.
“Well why not discuss this in court then?” Your eyes, almost manic glares into the ones of the first man.
“Wha- What the fuck man? You can't do that-Right Sera, she just can't-”
“No, she can… When do you want to hold the meeting?” She turns to you.
“Perhaps the day after the next? So that we'll have time to prepare,”
“.... Very well. Emily, let's go,”
Em stays back a bit and mutters, “Whatever happens, I’m on your side. I’ll try to help in anyway I can,”
“You don’t have to,” you mumble back.
“Emily! Let’s go,” Sera hisses. The two Seraphims leave the patio of your home.
“Why the fuck does this matter to you so much bitch?” Adam points an accusing finger at you, which you slap away.
“Oh, I don't know, maybe I want to uphold true Heavenly values? You of all people should know that,” You hiss back.
“Uh, no. Sinners can't be redeemed, now stop preaching all this dumb bullshit, and get ready, because you're going down, bitch,”
You bite your tongue, because God forbid you send him into a frenzy. You don’t have the time or energy for his tantrum right now.
“Well, I'm going to bed bitch, God, I am so handsome, and cool and amazing,” Adam sashays to the bedroom, irritating you so.
You pave a path to the living room.
You look at the couch.
You are not planning on sleeping on the same bed as Adam tonight.
Or the next, for that matter.
You flop on the couch like a tired dog, and doze off.
꧁ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ꧂
You’re in a desolate landscape. It's familiar.
Oh yeah, you've been here before.
Adjacent to you is the pedestal with the glowing ball.
“Yeah, I’m not doing that again,” You step away from the monument and bump into something.
Or rather, someone.
“Sera? What are you- hey!” The Seraphim suddenly pushes you without warning, cascading you down into a dark pit.
Dark pit… This has happened before.
What the fuck is going on?
Despite your confusion you flap your wings in the darkness, but as soon as you get to the top of the hole again, some force drags you down.
You look towards the surface, and see exterminators grinning (quite ironically) devilishly at the sight of your downfall
You spiral into the abyss, and the familiar heat appears.
You hit the ground with a thud, and jump out of your couch, sun rays peeking through the curtains.
What was that dream? That's the second time today that you had a dream such as this.
What's that glowing ball about?
Why, in the second dream, Sera pushed you into that hole?
Why couldn't you fly?
Why, did you fall?
Also, what is up with the ground at the bottom of the pothole?
It was so different from the empty landscape at the surface, with its red hot coals.
You rub your eyes with your trembling hands. It felt so real, as if your hands are suffering the aftermath of being burnt on the scorching stones.
There's no point crying about it now.
Time to become your own attorney.
꧁ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ꧂
“So, let me get this straight. There's a court meeting tomorrow and you need Charlie to be there. On short notice?!” Vaggie groans and rubs her temples.
“This is the perfect recipe for disaster,”
“Yah, honestly you fumbled this one toots,” Angel adds, absentmindedly scrolling through his phone.
“Vaggie, this isn't so bad. At least now we have solid evidence. Who knows? We actually have a fighting chance,” Charlie gives her girlfriend a comforting hug from behind.
“I know it's short notice, and I'm sorry I'm asking for a lot, but it could help you guys immensely,” You ramble on.
“Maybe we can sit down and look all of this over. I’ve brought some documents with me, and after possibly I could snatch Sir Pentious to go to the court meeting as well,” You start naming things like a list so fast, the words that leave your mouth are almost unintelligible.
“Hey, maybe you should sit down. Seems like you're getting the jitters. Oh Charlie! Maybe you should brew a pot of tea, hmm?” Lucifer puts a hand on your shoulder and guides you to the couch.
“Sorry for getting worked up about all of this, and all, I just have a lot on my plate,” you rub the head of Kiki, calming down to the vibrations of the cat's purrs.
“Yeah I could tell,” The demon holds your shaky hand gently, as if it was made of glass.
“See, you're shaking. I'm assuming the hearing isn't the only reason you're so anxious,”
You sigh.
“Really, I'm fine. Don't worry about it,” You smile, and squeeze his hand.
The King slightly reddens at the touch.
Charlie enters the room with piping hot cups of tea with Vaggie, who was holding a tin of biscuits. Charlie squints at the sight of you and her dad holding hands. Instinctively, you pull away casually.
“Okay, so,” You begin to take out some papers from your bag and place them on the table.
“Recently, St. Peter gave me receipts of who has entered Heaven in the recent weeks. Even though we know that Sir Pentious is in Heaven, we should still try to match up the dates of when he entered, and the day of extermination,”
“It'll be good hard cold evidence, especially if we get a grab of Pentious himself…” you bite your lip.
“We’d probably have to look around for more information… Would either of you know anything?” You turn to the three.
Lucifer scratches his head for a moment.
“Hmm, nothing that I could think of-”
“I believe I could make an attempt to ask Rosie and the other Overlords, they like to be keeping an eye on everything that goes on in Hell,” The familiar nails-on-a-chalkboard voice makes you jump out of your seat, almost spilling the cups of tea on the table.
Geez, can Alastor abstain himself from giving you a jumpscare just to make his entrance?
“Yeah, that'd be amazing! We really need all hands on deck for this,” Charlie answers for you.
“Thanks Alastor. You're so kind,” You add, just out of habit.
“It’s no problem my dear. Anything to help out a friend,”
Friend? Alastor isn't an enemy to you, but you barely have shared any proper conversation to consider him your friend.
That title he used for you seemed, off, like he doesn't regard you as a friend.
But why-?
Oh.
“Yeah, thanks for your kind offer Alastor, but I'm quite confident that us three have it covered. So can you please remove yourself from here? We need to concentrate,” Lucifer pipes up from beside you, a thin layer of rage decorating his tone.
“Uhm, some extra help doesn't hurt anyone Dad, right Y/N?”
It feels like everyone in the room is looking at you for your input.
Thankfully, your saving grace, Niffty turns the attention to her.
“Why are all the bad boys becoming good boys?! Ugh! So lame,” She groans as she uses a brush to sweep stray crumbs from the floor.
Using this window of opportunity, you change the subject.
“Okay, now regarding Sir Pentious, I should probably call him now…”
“I still have the card you gave me!” Charlie takes out the card from her breast pocket, crusted with dry slime and lint.
“You keep that thing on you?” Vaggie cringes.
“Yes, and?” Charlie dials the number on the card.
Briing rring
You hold your breath as each silent second drags on.
“Hello? Who isss thiss?” A voice rings from the other end.
“Sir Pentious, is that you?!” The Princess replies.
“Charlie? Iss that you?” The voice counters.
“Oh hi!! So as much as I want to catch up with you, I have a teeny tiny favour to ask of you…”
꧁ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ꧂
“Ahh, I don't know Charlie. Thiss iss a very important matter, I don't know if I could handle it,”
“Pentious, by helping us, we could be achieving big! We need to either go big or go home! I know it's a lot of you, but, pretty please?”
A crackled sigh.
“Oh alright…”
“Aaaa thank you so much Pentious! I'd give you a hug, but, you know… Ah bye bye!”
Charlie drops the call.
“Seems like everything's in order now. I'll see you guys tomorrow?” You stand up from the couch.
“Yes, and Y/N?”
You turn to the Princess.
“Yes Charlie?”
She hesitates.
“....Thank you again, for all of this,”
“Charlie, again, it's really no problem, okay? It's literally the least I can do,” You give Charlie a hug.
It's all you can do.
꧁ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ꧂
“We are gathered here today to re-determine if sinners are able to redeem themselves via Charlie Morningstar’s Hazbin Hotel,” The Seraphim’s voice bellows from above.
Cherubs and winners are below you, Charlie is by your side, and Emily is beside Sera, on edge.
“The plaintiff is Y/N, and the defendant is Adam, the first man. Y/N, I bring the floor to you,”
You take a deep breath and take out your notes.
“Well, your Honour, I have receipts which show that a sinner has entered Heaven in recent weeks,” You thrust out the piece of paper, which Sera draws towards her.
“He goes by the name ‘Sir Pentious’,” Your voice puts on a nonchalant tone, but it feels like your heart is about to stop.
Sera reads over the piece of paper, her face as though she swallowed a particularly sour lemon.
“Uhhhh, I call bullshit. I mean come onnnnnn,” Adam groans.
“I mean, do you know how easy it is for her to just print that out. Don't tell me you're actually believing this?” He smirks, and gets a snicker from Lute beside him.
“Uhm actually,”Sir Peter pipes up from the stands.
“I actually gave her that paper a while ago, if that can vouch for anything-”
“Shut up Pete,” Adam spits.
“Order!” Sera’s feathers ruffle, and she tucks them back down.
“Unless the defendant shows indubitable evidence, I’m afraid the verdict still stands,”
“Sera no!” Emily cries.
“Emily, this is an official court meeting, one of which you aren’t apart of. If you can’t keep quiet, you would have to leave the courtroom,”
You bite your nail. You really didn’t want to pull out your winning card this early…
“May I call a witness?”
“You may,”
“Well I call Sir Pentious as my witness,” You nod towards where the cacophony of angels were.
“Well your Honour…” He hisses, his tail wagging as though alert.
“I used to be a sinner, ass you may already know. During the lasst extermination, I wass killed in the battle… Then before I knew it, I wass up here in Heaven. That's all,” Pentious looks up at you, and you give a thumbs up along with a smile.
“Any quesstions?”
“No, you may sit down,” Sera starts, but a cherub pipes up from the audience.
“What does he mean by “as you already know”? I for one didn't know about that,”
Multiple angels, winners and Heavenborn alike, all murmur in agreement. Emily then bursts out,
“I'll tell you this. It's because Sera and I knew when Sir Pentious entered Heaven. Rather than going through the pearly gates, he appeared amongst the two of us.”
And all Hell, (or Heaven) breaks loose.
“Silence! This meeting is adjourned,” Sera’s ringing voice brings the noise of the populated stadium to a halt.
“Adjourned? What, why?” Charlie inadvertently voices your thoughts.
“My reasoning will not be objected,” Sera dodges the question.
“This meeting will be continued within twenty minutes,”
꧁ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ꧂
“Charlie, what do we do? Sera clearly doesn’t want to budge, and God knows what lies Adam is feeding her,” you pace up and down, words leaving your mouth as quick as lightning.
“Uhh don’t panic,” Charlie puts her hands up defensively.
“She hasn’t made a decision yet, we could- erh” She stumbles over her words, and fumbles a small yellow item out of her pocket and puts it in your hand.
“My dad said to give it to you if you got worked up- uhm,” Charlie steps backward a bit to give you some space.
You look at the object in your hand, which took the shape of a duck that was decorated with the signature white hat, and an apple cane in its flank.
You squeeze it and it produces a familiar tune. Your eyes widen as you remember that it was the melody you complimented just the other day.
At the time, it was just obligatory praise, but you were absolutely smitten by the fact that Lucifer has taken it seriously.
The dedication, into making something like this, for you is…
Charming.
Really Charming.
“Uhhh, Are you alright?” The Princess taps her foot anxiously, waiting for your answer.
“Oh yeah!” You look up, cheeks warming.
“I really love it. Tell him as such,” your stupid face breaks into a smile despite everything.
“I will. He’d be pretty happy hearing that, especially from you,” she gives you a playful nudge.
“You know… He likes you. Like- a lot,”
Your eyes brighten, and Charlie squeals at the sight.
“Oh, I knew it was reciprocal!” She brings you into a massive bear hug.
“Charlie- I-,”
“Oh, sorry,” She lets go.
“I was squeezing too hard, wasn’t I?”
“No, no it’s not that. It’s that well- you know I’m married,” An gravelly sigh leaves your lips.
“I think we would be better as friends,” Your throat is scratchy. Why is this so hard to say?
“Oh,” was her reaction, only enhancing your guilt even more. She looked so remorseful, you wanted to hug her so badly and say that you were lying.
And you were.
“Excuse me?” A cherub taps your shoulder.
“The court meeting is about to resume,”
꧁ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ꧂
As you enter back on your podium, you see Adam whispering something into Sera’s ear. He looks at you and makes a rude gesture, which you reciprocate.
“Enough! The court is back in session. Now, I bring the defendant to speak,”
“Ehhh yeah, anyway my point still stands. I don’t think we want some sinners cavorting around , making trouble,”
His statement just irritates you. How could he just say something like that?
“How do you know that? Pentious has been here for a while, and I doubt he has been making any disturbance,” are you picking the low hanging fruit? Yes. Is it helping your case? Also yes.
“Uhhhh yeah, but what’s the guarantee that others won’t? Geez, you’re so gullible,” He snorts like the pig he is.
“The defendant has a point. I feel like I’ve come to a conclusion, and it still hasn’t changed from the last session. Lute, please see Princess Charlie Morningstar out. Everyone else is dismissed,”
All the spectators leave. Sir Pentious looks back and gives you a consoling wave before taking his leave.
Lute flies over to your podium and a portal opens behind Charlie.
“What? No!” You and Emily shout in unison. The General roughly grabs the princess by the arm and drags her through the threshold.
Horns protrude from Charlie’s head, trying to resist the Angel’s force. More exterminators appear, almost magically and with one final push, the Demon princess is hauled through the portal.
“Charlie, NO!” You outstretch your hand, but it’s too late. The gateway closed with a whoosh sound.
“Now, was that really necessary?” You stare daggers at Sera, Lute and Adam.
“It had to be done,” was her response.
“Also, Sera, you said you wanted to talk to Y/n about something,” The first man’s tone is sinister, and is putting you on edge.
“Oh, yes. Thank you for the reminder. Well, Mrs. Y/N, I ban you from travelling to Hell without a permit,”
“What, why?!” Your heart is in your throat.
“Uhh, coz I don’t want you there. D'you know how bad it'll look on me if I can’t control my wife?!”
Sera puts her fingers between her eyes.
“Ahem, what Adam is trying to say is that, you clearly aren’t thinking of the consequences all of this may have. Imagine the state of Heaven if we just let any riff-raff in,”
You let out a short breath in shock. That was it. Game over.
“Unbelievable,”
“Y/N, WAIT!-” Emily tries to fly to your podium
She was met with a slammed door in her face.
꧁🥀☽💫✶♛🐣♕✶💫☾🥀꧂
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