Living nightmare. (Dark! Steve Rogers)
Summary: You were a normal person, with a great job opportunity at Stark Tower. Suddenly everything changed.
Warnings: implied violence, explicit violence (few references), panic attack, implied non-con, kidnapping, misoginy and trapping. English isn’t my first language, so please be kind. <3
If you are not comfortable with these issues, please do not read and block my account.
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You looked at the house from the hill you were standing on. You thought you were safe, you thought you finally succeeded. You opened your eyes wide, remaining motionless while fatigue tried to take your body, to make you give your legs and finally take the rest you were looking for.
You didn't remember how long it had been, maybe a few months or a few years. You were pretty sure no one had been looking for you since then, when everything changed.
You weren't anything special, you were just a self-employed worker trying to move forward. You had an unthinkable opportunity, alongside the Avengers: again, it was paperwork.
Endless paperwork, but still such. There were no dangers, you didn't have to take action, you just had to do your job and you did it very well. Until you were offered coffee, day after day, and then you told yourself it was lucky. Why not create a bond with a person, even just a poor coffee? You, a lonely person without friends, why couldn't you for once?
You always pulled back, and in hindsight you realized you did well. When Steve Rogers first asked you what you wanted as a drink, you didn't believe it.
Then since then the kindnesses increased, and maybe you were really naive as your parents said all those years before you only heard them on the phone and sometimes, but you really thought it was okay.
You thought it was okay when he occasionally brought you flowers or your favorite drink in the morning, or when suddenly he started to drive you home for your grueling work. The train was dangerous, right? And maybe it was, but not as much as he was.
After a few months of acquaintance in which you were trying to keep your distance and at the same time enjoy the first real company you have ever had in years, he changed direction. This is where your nightmare begins.
There were months in which he tried to model you, as if you were someone else: clothes, make-up, ways of doing. It wasn't you, it was someone else.
There was only one rebellion, and to this day you don't remember much of what happened. You had almost everything removed, perhaps because it all went into a sudden black out after too long having his hands on your neck.
He was suffocating, in his ways, in his speech, everything about him was suffocating. But you believed that Steve Rogers was a soldier by exception, one you would never be able to escape from.
You tried for a while, you tried to make that your new life, you could try to see that there was real affection in his attentions. But he still didn't seem like that, no. No matter how hard you tried not to grimace while demanding the attention of him most loved by him, you couldn't stay in that house much longer or you knew you were going to die long before your time.
So when there was a little, mere distraction, you ran away. It was a window, he thought he had closed it but in reality the mechanism had not worked. You noticed that, he didn't, there was an emergency in the city. And so you let him go, playing the best of scenes in all that time.
You waited 10 minutes, exactly 10 minutes and five seconds. Then you started running away. You knew he had chosen a specially isolated place, where there was no one for literally miles, or so he had led you to believe.
Actually, when you were yelling, nobody could hear you, so it probably wasn't one of his sweet, cheesy lies.
You kept running until you reached a slope. From there, you stopped. You took a few quick breaths, you felt your lungs empty and immediately get back into the air, almost in a panic. You watched the house still taking frantic breaths as you tried to support yourself on your feet. Just seeing it did the bile threaten to rise in the throat.
You repressed a hiccup, frantically looking around. You had every right to cry and despair, but you didn't have the time.
And maybe you would have had more hope if the man you were running from wasn't him, but he was. Without looking back you started walking again, hiding in the bushes that were starting to appear. You could have done it, you had to somehow.
Steve Rogers was dangerous and after it all turned out he would be punished, right? No, maybe you were all wrong, maybe they knew. With a shaking breath you tried to banish those thoughts: they were avengers, they couldn't know what he had done and let him do it anyway. Right?
The chills started running down your back at the very thought and your shaky breath was the only thing you could hear besides the grass and leaves you stepped on. Then you heard something else.
You stopped in your footsteps with eyes wide open, slowly trying to turn around for a complete view.
No, it was empty, there was no one. But you would no longer ignore your instincts, not again. Yet you knew you were right, there was an emergency in the city, you heard the conversation on the phone.
No, you weren't crazy, you heard.
But those noises soon returned. It was the sound of someone walking, steady and distinct footsteps. You squinted, then looked at a fallen tree. Given the place you were in, it was perfect. You just had to hide, just a few minutes.
If it really was Steve, there was no point in running, he would have caught you and you knew it. What other choice did you have?
With slow steps and paying attention to where you walked, you managed to coordinate perfectly until you reach that tree and hide. It was not a perfect hiding place and you were dying at the idea of returning to that hell: you would never get out of it again, if not dead.
"I promise you, if you go out now I won't hurt you."
It was an emergency in the city. Yes, you knew, you had heard everything. It had been a few minutes, right? He couldn't be back.
"I behaved well, right? So I should deserve a good girl, the one I thought I met behind a miserable desk, wasting her time on hideous clothes and with a miserable face all time, right?"
His voice seemed to approach and then move away, and again. It was a loop of pure terror, and deep in your mind you knew it was doing it on purpose. It was already clear that you had to go back there, but you didn't know how. And you would also have come out of your hiding place, you would have done it but you were so dying of terror.
Your every muscle was completely stiff, even your breathing had stopped and only tears were running silently from your eyes. But don't breathe.
"I took you to a safe place, I keep you safe, I even give you attention you would dream of from friends you don't even have."
This hurt.
"What more would you want? I don't think it matters anyway, because it matters what I want. I wanted you, I had you, exactly in the clothes I wanted and with the behavior I wanted you to have, that of a woman in her place. I suppose my lessons weren't enough, they weren't enough... brutal. "
You let out a scream the moment you felt your hair at the root being almost torn out. Your whole body was dragged out of that miserable hiding place, it was little, but still safe from him. It only took you one look to recognize the Steve Rogers you saw that time, when he nearly strangled you.
You don't remember what happened next but the marks on your body could give you a clue. He told you then that he was even kind, despite your behavior, but now that look tells you he won't be kind. It won't be anymore.
You started filming the play, every excuse, every trick that could work. The mask had fallen for good, and you with it. He pulled you back to him and trapped you in his arms. You felt literally suffocating both from his exaggeratedly large body and from the panic that continued to assail you.
You couldn't speak anymore. You literally felt like you were going to die, you were looking for someone or something to think about and you had nothing in mind, because you really didn't have anything.
"P-plea-se.." was the only thing you managed to say with that bit of breath you had left, before dropping the mask. It was over, you couldn't fight him and insult him. No, you didn't have the strength for that. He noticed, he just did you the favor to stop holding you so hard, but he kept looking at you.
"From now on things will change, you'll see. I guarantee you, you won't be able to treat me like that anymore."
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