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unknown--author · 1 year

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Crowley Slander Part II

Crowley: And because I am so gracious Where are you going, Prefect?

Yuu: I'm gonna go summon a demon. At least they'll be able to get me home in exchange for my soul.

#twisted wonderland #twst meme #dire crowley #crowley slander #crowley is a bad parent #twst mc #twst yuu #yuu's selling their soul for a way home #even though they are kinda already doing that with crowley

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gods-favorite-autistic · 8 months

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Good Omens incorrect quotes:

Aziraphale: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.

Crowley, drinking toast: Why do you say that?

~

Aziraphale: Violence isn't the answer.

Crowley: You’re right.

Aziraphale: *sighs in relief*

Crowley: Violence is the question.

Aziraphale: What?

Crowley, bolting away: And the answer is yes.

Aziraphale, running after them: NO-

~

Aziraphale: Do you take constructive criticism?

Crowley: I only take cash or credit.

~

Aziraphale: I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them.

Crowley: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.

~

Aziraphale: *Kicks the door down looking panicked*

Crowley: What did you do?

Aziraphale: Nobody died.

Crowley: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

~

Aziraphale: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.

Crowley: Killed without hesitation.

Aziraphale: No.

~

*how season 3 should start*

Aziraphale: Top 30 reasons why Aziraphale is sorry... Number 5 will surprise you!

Crowley: Top 30 anime deaths. Number One: YOUR FUCKING ASS RIGHT NOW!!!

~

Crowley: You're right.

Aziraphale: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

~

Beelzebub: I’m going to take you out

Gabriel: great, it’s a date!

Beelzebub: I meant that as a threat.

Gabriel: See you at five!

~

Crowley: *Walking in to a room* Sorry I’m late... I was... doing things.

*Sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder*

Gabriel: *Out of breath* THEY PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKIN’ STAIRS.

~

Beelzebub: I made tea.

Crowley: I don’t want tea.

Beelzebub: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea.

Crowley: Then why are you telling me?

Beelzebub: It is a conversation starter.

Crowley: That’s a lousy conversation starter.

Beelzebub: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.

~

Aziraphale: This is bothering me.

Crowley: Well, you are digging up a corpse.

Aziraphale: No, not that. That's, uh, pretty par for the course, actually.

~

Aziraphale: Whaddya call a fish with no eye?

Gabriel, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons

Aziraphale:

Aziraphale: fsh

~

Crowley: God, give me patience.

Gabriel: I think you mean 'give me strength'.

Crowley: If God gave me strength, you'd be dead.

~

Aziraphale: You know, not every problem can be solved with a sword.

Crowley: That's why I carry two swords.

~

Gabriel: So what’s for dinner?

Beelzebub, staring at the food they just burnt: Regret.

~

Muriel: Why are you on the floor?

Crowley: I'm depressed.

Crowley: Also I was stabbed, can you get Aziraphale, please.

~

Store Worker: Would a Mr. Fell please come to the front desk?

Aziraphale, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker: points to Crowley and Muriel

Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?

Crowley and Muriel, simultaneously: We got lost :(

Aziraphale: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

~

Muriel: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container.

Crowley: The cow???

Muriel: What?

Aziraphale: Crowley, W H Y?

~

Aziraphale: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Crowley?

Crowley: … No.

Muriel: I do!

Aziraphale: I know, Muriel.

Muriel: I’m sad!

Aziraphale: I know, Muriel.

~

Muriel: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?

Crowley: The car takes a screenshot.

Aziraphale: For the last time, get the fuck out.

~

Crowley: Aziraphale and I don’t use pet names.

Nina: I see. Hey, what are those things with the halos called again??

Crowley: Angel?

Aziraphale: Yes, dear?

Crowley:

Nina: Don't ever lie to my face again.

~

Muriel: I really like this whole ‘good guy, bad guy’ thing you guys have going on.

Crowley: It’s not an act, it’s just that I’m mean and Aziraphale isn’t

~

Aziraphale: We need a distraction.

Crowley: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises?

Muriel, whispering: My time has come

~

Aziraphale: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me

Muriel: Okay, but in my defense, Mr. Crowley bet me 50 cents I couldn’t drink all that shampoo.

Aziraphale: That’s not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!

~

Aziraphale: Crowley, keep an eye on Gabriel today. They're going to say something to the wrong person and get punched.

Crowley: Sure, I’d love to see Gabriel get punched.

Aziraphale: Try again.

Crowley, sighing: I will stop Gabriel from getting punched.

~

Maggie: Are you the big spoon or the little spoon?

Crowley: I'm a knife.

Aziraphale, from across the room: They're the little spoon.

~

Aziraphale, driving Crowley and Muriel: So how was your day?

Muriel: We almost got surprise adopted!

Aziraphale: What?

Crowley: We almost got kidnapped.

Aziraphale: Oh, okay.

Aziraphale: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?

~

Aziraphale: You have to apologize to Gabriel

Crowley: Fine.

Crowley: 'Unfuck you' or whatever.

~

Crowley: Hey angel,

Aziraphale: Yes?

Crowley: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?

Aziraphale:

Aziraphale: Where’s Gabriel?

~

Aziraphale: WHY. why did you give Muriel a KNIFE?!

Crowley: I’m sorry. They said they felt unsafe.

Aziraphale: Now I feel unsafe!

Crowley: I’m sorry.

Crowley: ... would you like a knife?

~

Muriel: Hey, Mr. Crowley? Can I get some dating advice?

Crowley: Just because I’m with Aziraphale doesn’t mean I know how I did it.

~

Aziraphale: Crowley and I are having a baby.

Muriel: That's gre-

Aziraphale, slamming adoption papers on the table: It's you, sign here.

~

Muriel: Are you sure this is the right direction?

Crowley: Certainly, I'm as sure as I am honest!

Aziraphale: In that case, we're definitely lost

~

Muriel: What do you think Mr. Crowley will do for a distraction?

Aziraphale: They’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do.

*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*

Aziraphale: ... or they could do that.

~

Aziraphale: I trust Crowley.

Muriel: You think they know what they're doing?

Aziraphale: I wouldn't go that far.

~

Aziraphale: While I’m gone, Muriel, you’re in charge.

Muriel: Yes!!!

Aziraphale, whispering: Crowley, you’re secretly in charge.

Crowley: Obviously.

~

Aziraphale: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?

Crowley: *turning to Gabriel* How tall are you?

#featuring a lot of inneffable husbands #Crowley and Aziraphale being Muriel’s parents essentially #Aziraphale refusing to let Crowley drive with Muriel in the car #a tiny bit of inneffable bureaucracy #a whole lot of Crowley openly hating Gabriel now that he can’t get smited for that #bad influence Crowley #Maggie and Nina supporting the dumbass gays #they/them Crowley and Muriel #and just Crowley being my favorite character #maddy’s thoughts (taken straight from the brain)#good omens #good omens 2 #inneffable husbands #inneffable bureaucracy #incorrect good omens quotes

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densewentz · 9 months

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hear me out, post-divorce girl!Dad Crowley

im not even kidding you guys, the best thing for Crowley after all this is just for him to be a girl Dad. Go find himself the weirdest most unhinged least likely up for adoption daughter to dump all his love onto. One who thinks snakes are awesome and who screeches happily when Crowley drives too fast and who thinks her Dad's the absolute coolest person on or off earth. She'll constantly be stealing his sunglasses or demanding her own pair so they match. No doubt she's obsessed with fungus and she probably draws the most fucked up stuff that Crowley then hangs around the flat, and she'll yell at the plants too with her hands on her hips. On nights after goofy dinners, Crowley will hoist her up on his shoulders and help her accurately place the glow-in-the-dark stars on her ceiling and softly answer every question she ever has. And it won't even phase her when sometimes her Dad is her Mom or her Parent for a while or vice versa. And she'll be ready to full on throw hands with anyone who gives her Dad sad-face. She probably ends up biting Aziraphale when he eventually staggers back into the picture, and the Angel will have to contend with the fury of a real hellion for a while before she trusts him enough to let him anywhere near Crowley. Also i think her name should be Hanna.

#good omens #good omens spoilers #anthony j crowley #he would just be the BEST unhinged single parent okay #with several full lifetimes of love to give if someone would just TAKE it #i mean look how he looks at job's weird little girl that was a show stealer #hanna would ask him if she could be a snake too for an afternoon and it would make his chest ache but he'd do it bc hes mr. Acts of Service #and then he and his unhinged kid could go terrorize their rude neighbors or something. a little serpentine family bonding #crowley has to leave hanna with muriel and its not hanna he's worried about its what trouble hanna will get MURIEL into #i think crowley's rules about cussing are its 100% fine so long as the context is REALLY funny #so while metatron or shax or god or whoever the big bad of s3 is is giving their big villain monologue #a tiny sweet little voice yells “hey” and after everyone goes quiet and turns to look at her a secondary “shut the fuck up! 😀”#dense's ramblings #sorry im going to be feral about this for a while #might do some art #hanna crowley

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sincka · 3 months

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Guys. I'm glad I'm a lokius fan 'cause it prepared me for the heartbreak of good omens but I'm still new at this. Tell me. How do you cope with ep6 ?

#'cause im crying over them since i watched it #u just can't live without them #i feel like my parents just divorced—#bad exemple #i want them both oops #but u know what i meant #aziracrow kiss #aziraphale x crowley #aziracrow #aziraphale #crowley #anthony j crowley #aziraphale fell #good omens #im dead inside #revive me when s3 is out

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jadegr8 · 1 month

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Crowley on his wedding day (because of this post)

#yes I felt the need to post this again separately #because honestly apart from the bad image quality it's not complete trash #I'm a proud parent of a .jpg file right now #crowley #good omens #ineffable husbands #ineffable wedding #IT ENDS HOW IT STARTS: IN A GARDEN #stuff

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galaxgay · 7 months

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i just kind of need Crowley to call Muriel "kiddo" like once. I need this dynamic so bad 😭

#good omens #crowley #muriel #idk what got me glommed onto this friendship #but i need it so bad #theyre just bestie parent/kid type dynamic #i need moreeee

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snakeeyesandangelfeathers · 8 months

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I'm sorry but can we talk about how Love seems to be the moving force of the universe?

We know that the miracle Aziraphale and Crowley perform Together, even if it's just the tiniest bit of a miracle, is made an insane amount stronger, just because they worked Together and used their shared connection to perform it.

They didn't know this would happen. Nobody has ever tried it before, right? Imagine them using their shared Full power on purpose, and yes, these two could probably raise all the dead of the Earth and put them back to sleep, as long as they did it together.

We saw Beelzebub and Gabriel too, Singing together, showing their love in their own way, so much could Feel it in the air, having such a powerful connection that it made all the lights around them turn on.

Seems to me like the God designed her creatures this way on purpose, having them stronger when they are together, when they have a bond, they love each other, they work together, share a life and their own being with one another? Maybe because she was lonely and wished for her creatures to have someone they could share the joy of 'making a whale' with, with someone who would understand them?

So, if the angels and demons stopped fighting each other like dumb kids with toy soldiers and instead grew up and came to see this is what whey were meant to do, they would all become a whole lot more powerful (and happier), finding their soulmates and caring about each other, focusing on what truly matters.

#good omens #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #ineffable bureaucracy #the central theme of the entire story seems to be love too #with tadfield; and adam loving his friends and parents and his home #with aziraphale and crowley sharing this bond ever since they met; having been the first ones of them all to connect this way #with the 'bad guys' abandoning their evil intentions once they find something that matters more to them #really seems like the universe and its creatures were created by god just to have them share the beauty of it all together #they just haven't quite figured out yet that's what it's all about

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its-to-the-death · 1 year

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Glasses Swag Tournament Preliminary Round #16

Only one of these characters will make it into the bracket so vote for your favorite!

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unknown--author · 1 year

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Crowley: *Being a negligent crow*

Yuu: And I thought, "I'm about to beat this bitch up."

#twisted wonderland #dire crowley #twisted wonderland yuu #twst meme #crowley is a bad parent #if he's even considered one

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sa-banana-ana · 7 months

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I got bored, frankly, it's annoyance if anything, of going to my university library. To remedy that I've been going to a public library branch and today it really made my day!

They had a display about book recommendations based on zodiac signs. I always find zodiac themed items a little funny, and naturally, I wanted to see what would be deemed a good Sagittarius, my own zodiac sign, recommendation. I had actually been looking for my libraries collection of Neil Gaiman books the day before and was disappointed when GO wasn't there. Well, now I know why. 🥰

Anyways I spent the last 30 minutes before I had to leave reading and giggling to myself. 🤭

#i do think they should have put it under Libra #but i mean i guess its whatever #i honestly did a double-take cause like wtf!?!#i was so invested in my NPN notes that GO was the very last thing on my mind #my literal thought process went from #doo do doo creatinine kinase is found in skeletal and heart muscle and brain tissue clickity clack #*i look up cause idk if a woman passing by was gonna stop to ask me something but she didnt so i take a quick look around*#oh GO #clickity clack #GOOD OMENS?!?! 🤯#and then i finished studying for the day and went to get it and got a dirty look from an old man cause he thought i was inappropriately #dressed. like my dude disrespectfully im here on my own time and i wanna grab the book ive been wanting to read for a long time now #i can finally drive myself around and be out of the house for quite a bit longer than if my parents were to pick me up and give me a ride #everywhere i need to go. i dressed comfy for myself and no one else. you can go if it bothers you that much #whoa didnt expect to get into that...my bad y'all #i digress im really happy i got my hands on go. now i have a book im really looking forward to at the end of my study sessions.#good omens 2 #good omens #crowley #OMG Y'ALL AND ITS THE CROWLEY VERSION MY HEART!!#“get humans wet and staring into each others eyes va-voom! sorted”#me too crowley me too #the power of getting humans wet and staring into each others eyes #ok this is getting longer than i was originally intending

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southernpansy666 · 2 years

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Book 6 is just about done my loves and then on to book 7 ! I’m so excited for book 7!

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petitelepus · 2 years

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This is a part 2 to my previous request The next time they come to visit she finally stands up and tells them that she has a scholarship there so she doesn't need them to pull her out and finally calls out o all the BS they have been pulling on her and her siblings and saying that she aint never coming home until she sees improvement on her parents behavior. Also remind her dad that he was a second prince as well so he has no room to talk shit

A lot had happened since your birthday and your family's visit. Despite telling you to leave Leona, your first love, you had gone behind their backs and kept seeing him. An act of disobedience that earned you a visit from your furious parents.

To keep things civil and to your safety, Headmaster Crowley had summoned you all to his office to talk things out. Sadly, your parents preferred yelling.

"What are you doing?! Why are you still seeing that no-good Leina!?" Zira shouted at your face, but you held your ground despite fearing her.

"His name is Leona and yes, I am still seeing him."

"Didn't your mother and I tell you to ditch that boy and find yourself a royal successor?" Scar finally said, "You're young and don't know any better. The best you can do is to listen to us."

"No, I don't." You clenched your teeth together and growled, "You are the shittiest parents that a cub can have and I won't take orders from you anymore!"

"Excuse me?" Scar asked, and you swallowed as you could feel bloodlust emitting from him. "You say you choose that brute who has no land to call his own? You choose him over your own family?"

"You're one to talk!" You snapped, "You're a second son also!"

"That's it! I will not stand this disrespect from my own kin," Scar clasped his hands together and focused his glare on Headmaster Crowley, "Take her out."

"Excuse me?" The masked man asked.

"Dad!" You cried out but the beastman ignored you, "Take her out of the school. She is returning home with us."

"You can't do that!" You tried to protest.

"We can and we will!" Your mother shouted, baring her teeth with an ugly scowl, "Once we get back to the Outlands you will be put to vigorous training and you will never see that boy ever again!"

"Indeed." Scar nodded and looked at the masked Headmaster, "Take her out."

"I'm afraid I can do no such thing, sir." Headmaster Crowley said. Scar raised his brow, "You can't or you won't? You know damn well that she cannot stay here without our money."

"That's the thing, sir." Crowley cleared his throat, "Your daughter has gotten a scholarship from one of the college's best-known influencers. She can stay here if she wishes to."

"You must be joking?" Your father asked but when no one replied, he looked at you and gave you one of his cruel smiles, "Well, in that case... Good luck making it out there on your own. You won't survive with that second son as your mate."

"Actually, Leona and I have a place." You said as you crossed your arms and smiled, finally feeling a little smug for having the upper hand over your parents, "We have a patch of land in Briar Valley waiting for us. I don't ever need to come back to Outlands again."

"Why you little ungrateful-!” Your mother was hissing but the Headmaster went between you and your parents if anything would happen.

“It has been a honor having royalty visit us, but I’m afraid I must ask you to leave the College grounds.”

“But I'm royalty!” Scar raised his voice for the first time since coming over, “You can't do that! I have right over my own kin!"

"If you wish to enroll one of your other children you are welcome to do so, but until then you are no longer welcome to the school's grounds." Headmaster Crowley said as he tipped his hat to your parents, "Until then, I wish you the best."

You could tell your parents were furious over the fact that they had no control over the situation or you. They shot you furious glares as they left and once they were gone, you sighed out loud in relief.

“Thank you for having my back Headmaster.” You smiled as you looked at the masked man and he bowed, “My pleasure. Students’ safety is my top priority.”

You were smiling, but you had a hunch your parents weren’t just going to sit and take this but for the first time ever, you felt free. Free to live and love however you like.

#twisted wonderland #twst #writing #my writing #scarletdragontiger #scar #zira #lion king #reader #reader insert #dire crowley #bad parents #Enjoy!

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the-cabin-complex · 1 year

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Unstoppable force (an excitable demon on Halloween with a penchant for alcohol and breaking rules) versus immovable object (an immensely stubborn former alcoholic who’s determined to make sure we don’t drink until we’re of age)

#Don’t worry nothing’s going to happen #there was this brief conflict though #He’s gonna be pissed that I said this #but Tony’s like the ex wine aunt who activates parent mode whenever someone wants to make bad decisions lmao #alcohol tw #Halloween tw #cabin complex talks religion #substance abuse mention #Note from Crowley: look. I wouldn’t actually be that irresponsible. But I still want to and I will still complain about it

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shallowseeker · 8 months

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At some point, I remember Rowena having these...giant Macleod family paintings. As far as Rowena is concerned, that's a rich-people thing. But that's not who Rowena's family was.

Did Rowena have it painted....later?

///

In the finale, Sam is the same as Rowena.

As Sam lies dying, he's overshadowed by a gigantic Winchester family portrait. But that's not who Sam's family was. Hell, even if they'd had a portrait, it wouldn't have looked that...yuppity uppity.

It seems my theory of Sam photoshopping a bunch of shit to create a false narrative for Dean II grows stronger by the day...

#dean II #dean II & sam #dean jr #dean jr & sam #bad parent sam #or was it crowley's painting?#either way it feeds into the rowena-sam-crowley triad of ambition #they bark and they bark so you won't see their roots #they're posturing characters

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weirdly-specific-but-ok · 4 months

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Pt III good omens but i STILL SOMEHOW haven't watched it (and i'm increasingly passive aggressive)

i'm now basically held hostage adopted as mascot by this fandom. it's fine i'm fine *SIGNALS FOR HELP DESPERATELY*

Alright fuckers I swear this time I'm going to get some shit right. Without further ado, here's my third attempt at a good omens summary:

Everything everywhere is queer all at once

Angel Aziraphale and demon Crowley on earth likey each other

The car is a bentley and it is BLACK not silver and everyone is very upset about this. my bad yall it was reflecting light therefore i guessed more silver than black but I'm not Anish Kapoor take your black.

Then it is yellow, and aziraphale likes it. crowley preferred the black because he's a flamboyant emo.

God is a deadbeat absentee parent and you are all children of divorce.

There's a naked archangel and they cause problems for the husbands somehow. By being naked? By being an archangel? By being at their doorstep? Who knows not me

They were actually married for 6000 years, they just are the last to know about it.

Crowley is on fire. Like, he's slaying for sure, but also he is literally on fire, like Aziraphale's bookstore.

The actors like I said before are Michael Sheen and David Tennant but this is the place where I finally admit that I don't actually know who is whom. I'm going to assume Michael is Aziraphale because Michael sounds angel-y and David is Crowley because uh Michaelangelo made David and was gay for him.

Terry Pratchett is not fictional.

He co-wrote the book with @neil-gaiman, who IS fictional, because he does not have social media. Several of you have assured me that he is in fact a fandom inside joke. I like to think he would be proud of me.

They adopt a preteen and Crowley gives him bad advice.

At some point a baby was delivered to someone and was exchanged for the son of Satan. Idk if the baby is the preteen, or the son of satan is the preteen, or neither. This could be a fanfic, I have no way of differentiating the fanfic from canon on tumblr, except that the canon is weirder.

Crowley does not go down a chute. He goes down a telephone cord after making himself microscopic to pole dance on a pin with shroom-induced backgrounds.

During this his stage name is Disco Tony. Get it king go slay you're making better life choices than I am tbh.

Aziraphale is a biblically accurate angel, and you have all gone to extensive lengths to prove this to me. I understood nothing, but there you go.

It's all very queer, just like the fandom.

Crowley is a retired demon but he still sins by breaking the speed limit.

They eat at fancy restaurants and bicker but like in a sexual undercurrent way.

Crowley gives Aziraphale a private dance that is not a lap dance, it is an apology dance, but not in a kinky way, until it is.

Their haircuts keep changing and range from 'this is acceptable and gay' to 'i let a drunk chimpanzee take gardening shears and a blowtorch to my hair'

It's all ineffably queer my good fellows

Everyone keeps trying to convince me Neil Gaiman is the villain yeah no guys I know it's really you. Y'all be like 'SEASON TWO BROKE ME' and then you're making headcanons to make it sadder yeah I see you mmhm.

There is a final fifteen. It is sad. What is it? No one told me.

The demon turns goats into crows and the angel turns them back and then children are turned into newts (does the angel turn them back? who cares not yall) and the demon was the snake in the Eden garden and everyone's furry game seems to be on point.

There are a rather lot of children. I have not seen them. But I am assured they are there. They are, guys. I assume they were turned into the alcohol Aziraphale and Crowley drink or something.

There was an apocalypse plotline. It was averted. It is not important. You don't talk about plotlines in this fandom, no sir.

Crowley doesn't want to go to heaven. Aziraphale is sad.

The kiss is not nice, just like this fandom. It is queer, just like this fandom. It is sad and desperate and masochistic, just like this fandom.

Aziraphale doesn't want to stay back with Crowley. Crowley is sad.

Season 2 ends. Fandom is sad.

Everyone's sanity is hinging on the promise of a happy ending in season 3. Good luck guys.

Y'all better appreciate this. I can't even boast to my mother about this legacy of mine, hey mum your son has been held hostage kidnapped inducted into a cult adopted by a fandom he's not part of look he's winning at life.

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prettycottagequeer · 1 month

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ok maybe I'm a little late to this BUT I'm gonna do a to-do list motivation thingy because I've had the worst two weeks since I started college :)

SO these I should start on asap:

50 I make the snack I really want but I haven't had the motivation to make

100 I clean my dorm. another thing I've been meaning to do for a week

150 I do the presentation about mid-victorian fashion I've been putting off (due Monday)

200 I start memorizing the monologue that was due a week ago (now due Tuesday)

these can wait longer:

300 I spend time outside. It's so nice but I'm getting stuck scrolling because I feel like shit. vicious cycle ect

500 I start setting a better weekend routine (aka getting up before noon)

1k I start working out again. I was doing a routine to get more masc and build muscle and I liked it but life hit me like Crowley driving the Bentley and I've missed like 3 weeks

2k I buy my first binder. I've been coping with sports bras for almost a year now and I haven't been able to justify spending $50+ on a binder even though I know I'd love it and use it everyday.

Do I tag people? I don't know but I'm going to. @the-globe-theatre-maggot @weirdly-specific-but-ok @howmanyholesinswisscheese

here's just some context if you want to read, feel free to skip. some of this I've talked about in the maggot server, some I haven't, but I really just need a place for this to go that's out of my head. tw homophobia, transphobia, car crash(??)

How I Have Been Run Over By The Bentley Going 90 In Central London What Feels Like 50 Times In The Last Two Weeks

I'm going to college about 4 hours away from my parents, and it's been really nice. They.. suck, to say the least. transphobic/homophobic ect, super traditional conservative catholic, racist, all of it. so i tried to move somewhere where I wouldn't have to think about them and I could be myself and do what I can to be happy. March 1st was the start of my spring break, which meant going home because the dorms close. I was already not excited, but I was prepared. the problem with being away from home is I forget just how bad they are. My optimism gets the better of me and I think maybe this time they'll be better. so I decided to not hide my septum piercing.

that was a mistake. it starts a whole fight where they say we know you're trans, you're actually a girl and you always will be, we have the bones argument, they think I'm being influenced by demons or something (if only they knew about crowley) because I want to change my name, and they tell me that going on t will completely ruin my body and give me cancer and other things. They're also mad about my dyed hair, septum, and general style, and say I'm setting a terrible example for my (5) younger siblings and make it a point to tell me just how much of a disappointment I am. I think I'm pretty cute and fun but y'know, whatever. very fun time. I lie so much, don't give them any more details about my identity, and say I'm not planning to go on t to save my ass. which is all on instinct which makes me feel worse because if I'm really trans I should be able to stand up for that, right? maybe I'm faking the dysphoria.

the next morning I wake up really sick, and spend the rest of the week sick and feeling like shit because I'm home and back in the same place and situation I was a year ago that I thought I escaped. at one point I pretty much lose my voice but also kind of get gender euphoria from it. it's weird.

On Friday it's time for me to drive back 4 hours to school, and I make it about 3/4 of the way when google maps takes me on a random gravel road and I crash my car, really crash my car, like sideways-in-a-ditch-windows-broken-crawling-up-out-the-door crash it in the middle of nowhere. (I was fully paying attention to the road, it was raining and super slick) I call my parents because I have no one else to call and I sit in a Subway for 3 hours while they drive to get my car. when they get there they're (understandably) really mad, and they tell me that I'm not mature enough to be going to school so far away and I need to get my shit together and stop depending on them. which. is probably true. but made me feel even more stupid about the fact that I crashed my car. I get back to school and I'm still Very Sick with no energy or motivation to do anything. So I've spent the last week trying to get better and honestly to do anything. it hasn't really worked. I'm a lot better health-wise (Not emotionally), still sick but I have a lot of work due, so I really need a push to get started

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