I've just started playing disco elysium for the first time and I have to say, despite the many posts I've seen making fun of it, I actually really like the game's morale mechanic.

Harry is a man who is on the brink of a breakdown, his years of grief, substance abuse and bad choices are finally catching up with him. He is fragile. His mental health is down the toilet. Of course a single rude comment would be enough to make Harry want to give up.

And I really like that snapping after being pushed just a little too far is a real threat. Harry's awful mental health isn't just a side-story reserved for cut scenes. It's not just an interesting character trait. It's a hindrance to his daily life and to his mission.

I like that the game forces you to stay aware of how you're doing not just physically but also mentally. Any amount of psychic damage could be lethal.

It makes perfect sense for someone in Harry's situation.

hey daily reminder that being pro-bodily autonomy means people can do whatever they want with their bodies - including harmful things such as substance abuse and self harm. Forced recovery goes against advocating for bodily autonomy. Would I prefer people recover and not hurt themselves? Yes. Can I make them? No. Is it my place *to* make them? Hell no.

Rest in peace to me because I am vague blogging so forgive me everyone but sometimes I am so very obsessed with people's opinions about why Elementary is Bad in the year of our lord 2023.

The argument was that Elementary was bad as an adaptation for making it a procedural crime drama and for making Sherlock an addict, both of which "miss the point" of the ACD canon. (This person was very obviously a big Johnlock person as well which wouldn't matter except for the particular hill they decided to defend.) I can't disagree that procedural crime dramas are a function of modernity, and are certainly not the "point" of the Holmes canon. If you dislike procedurals on principle then I think that's that and there you have it—but considering that procedurals are a very common way to do mystery-writing now, and considering that to my knowledge there has never been a Holmes & Watson procedural before, I do think that it makes sense for a modern adaptation. Modern Holmes, modern storytelling convention, matchy matchy. But no, not the point and perhaps a valid complaint.

But disliking Sherlock as an addict is a VERY FUNNY ISSUE TO TAKE WHEN YOU ARE PUTTING BBC SHERLOCK ON A PEDESTAL. My number one complaint about season four of Sherlock (and I am being dead serious) was the relationship they presented between John, Sherlock, and drug use. Because the "point," I think, was that Sherlock Holmes is willing to escalate conflict, lie to his partner, and put his own life in jeopardy for the sake of the mystery, damn the consequences (and, for that matter, he trusts that his partner will accept being abused and still help him no matter what). And I get that ACD!Holmes would do anything for the mystery and he didn't always treat Watson well in the canon but I think if the "point" were that these two characters are locked in an immutably abusive and codependent relationship then these characters would not having the staying power that they do. I won't say that the episode was bad writing per se, but I felt like that was the nail in the coffin for BBC Sherlock as an adaptation for me. It was like, yes sir, we've always given Sherlock drugs to use recreationally as in canon, and when he starts to use them in unhealthy ways and they negatively impact his relationships, it doesn't need to be addressed to the audience as an issue because actually Sherlock Holmes is Too Smart to have a drug problem, he was tricking you the whole time, and you were stupid for worrying.

Which like. Okay. I don't think that's the point, and if it is, I don't want it. No thanks.

Compare with Elementary. And not saying it's perfect. Not saying anyone has to like it. But we are thinking about Sherlock Holmes in a modern setting. And the fact of the matter is, when ACD wrote Sherlock Holmes, we did not have the same amount of information on substance use or addiction that we do today. This isn't to say that people can't use substances recreationally and safely, whether they live in the late 1800s or in the modern era. But in ACD's time, the common understanding of chemical dependence was often attributed to moral failing rather than any other contributing factor. There was no such thing as chemical dependence. There were people strong enough to make good choices and people who weren't. And that's not to say they didn't notice, say, genetic predispositions. That tied into much of eugenicist thought at the time. "Ah, yes, the way to fix society is to get rid of those gross people who keep generating morally weak children. Then society will be great!" The way people thought about drug use had very little to do with medicine and a lot to do with self-reinforcing prejudices against class or race. The Sherlock Holmes written by Arthur Conan Doyle did not have an addiction, not because he was just amazing at maintaining a healthy and recreational relationship with his substances, but because deep down he's Too Good For That. Back then Good People didn't have addictions. He had vices, perhaps, or indulgences, or experiments. But Holmes couldn't have a problem with substance use because he was above having a problem with substance use.

So we are left with Holmes in the modern era. Like before, Holmes uses drugs recreationally. He enjoys them. They, as before, help him think and help him stay close to the mysteries he solves. But something else has changed. Now we know that there is no such thing as being Too Smart or Too Good to have an addiction. And so our modern Holmes has to contend with the fact that yes, he's not Too Smart to develop a dependency, he's not Too Smart to relapse, and he is not Too Smart to suffer the same kind of struggle that so many ordinary people have also suffered. It's very humbling. It is indeed painful for him to accept Joan as a sober companion in his life. It's something impossible to escape. And it is really, really fruitful as a character trait. The conversation he has with Joan in the season 3 episode "The Eternity Injection" still sticks with me:

Sherlock: If you must know, Watson, I've been feeling a little bit down of late. It's the process of maintaining my sobriety. It's repetitive. And it's relentless. And above all, it's tedious. When I left rehab, I... I accepted your influence, I committed to my recovery. And now, two years in, I find myself asking, "'is this it?"' My sobriety is simply a grind. It's just this leaky faucet that requires constant maintenance, and in return offers only not to drip.

Joan: You have your work, you have me. You're alive.

Sherlock: I've told myself that many times. So many times, it has become unmoored from all meaning. Odd. I used to imagine that a relapse would be the climax to some grand drama. Now I think that if I were to use drugs again, it would in fact be an anticlimax. It would be a surrender to the incessant drip, drip, drip of existence.

I love this scene. I love this conversation. And I love it as an adaptation because this is not a conclusion or moral that Arthur Conan Doyle could have written in his own time. This scene captures some of the knowledge we have now, and likely some of the hurts and harms of our era as well. However, it says something about these two famous characters: that Sherlock, whose mind aches for mysteries, is equally if not more challenged by the practical matter of living his life, and that Joan is with him in it. It's not dramatic. It's just a conversation in their living room.

I think that's sufficient.

Sherlock is a detective and an addict in Elementary. His addiction changes the way he thinks and acts forever. And in some regards, that makes him worse. And in other regards, that makes him the best he's ever been. No, Arthur Conan Doyle did not write a story about an addict. Elementary did. And the point is that he solved mysteries and helped people, the point was that he was an incredible detective, and the point was that he was human, only human.

rrrrrrr don't say weird things about my show kthxbai

I wish there was a way to like give away your "full ride to college" scholarships to someone else.

I knew a person who just blee theirs for a guy and became addicted to drugs(pretty sure she's clean now but ya know, scholarships are down the drain now).

 

"Is it going to hurt?"

Something about the way he had asked made The Designer pause the throw he had been attempting, stunned by the audacity to question the person hunting her down if it was going to hurt. As if the needle in his hand could possibly be a pleasant sort of intrusion.

He had tried them out on himself plenty of times as it was the only kind of high he could reach in the foreboding mists. Milo Royals grew to anticipate the sting and relish in the venom that coursed through his veins and made them glow oh so prettily beneath his skin.

And yet he was self aware enough to know this wasn't a universal experience.

Maybe she'd like it. Nobody else appreciated his party favors so far, but maybe she was different. A smile tugs at the corner of his lips as he readies the long tipped needle again, dripping with an almost neon green substance, aiming directly for her shoulder.

"It'll pinch, darling, but I assure you the trip is worth it. Hold still for me."

hey this is somewhat out of blue but how do you think the crew would react if one of their members died? i’ve been having brainrot and i’m looking to get it peer reviewed basically

-crews

HELLO CREWS! youve come to the right place. warning for some dark stuff below! like, really quite dark!!! mentions/implications of suicide dark!!!!! putting it under a readmore BECAUSE IM EMBARASSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok RUNS AWAY!!!!!!!! i might make this unrebloggable later. ooooopppsss

shuffles cards like im on a stage. a-HEM.

deuce: life goes on. he's not happy about it, he mourns, but like, what can he do? death is a fact of life, he thinks. insert pearl laundry comic here. he'd think about it forever and ever and like, that's life, man. shrug.

droog: i think he'd get even less social. eats less. smokes even more. diamonds droog found dead in midnight city central river ; possibility of homicide ruled out

slick: ahh, slick... remember that art i did of snowy pointing a gun at his forehead, and how @/mamposteria-es-la-mejor-palabra tagged it as "suicidal ideation"? yeah that. it's technically unrelated but i think about it so much and it's definetly relevant. it'd eat him up on the inside. substance abuse, perhaps? he wouldn't even go out subtly like droog maybe would. No further comments, on this post at least

boxcars: i think he acts like he doesn't really care. life goes on for him too. he mourns a lot more than deuce though. gets flowers for the grave. cries about it during late nights. life isn't the same when someone's missing. he's a fair bit less excited about stuff

BAM THAT'S THAT HAHA THAT WAS FUN AND LIGHTHEARTED WASN'T IT? HAHAHA. THAT SURE WAS GREAT. ANYWAYS. loooooved this request. good shit crews my friend. love you /p stay safe we frolic ok?

I want to have a little drink while making dinner but I have an agreement with my roommate where I don't drink in common areas. which ultimately... not sure how well that's going for me. I have to leave the alcohol in my room, which isn't great bc of my impulse control issues. and it leads to me drinking alone in my room, which makes me feel. bad. I don't think I realized that arrangement was not great for me before recently bc I got used to drinking alone in my room at my last apartment, bc I didn't talk to my roommates and I didn't want them to know I was drinking. the shame factor doesn't help, and I think that being confined to my room while drinking is contributing to that. but also I don't want to make my roommate be around alcohol when they don't want to. UGH. idk.

How about your versions of Dusty and Cloudface?

See we ADORE them

In their old, glory years, they function as the Clan Grandpas. Cloudface was selectively mute and Dusty was having some really serious health problems, so they were essentially never apart; Cloudface helping Dusty get around while Dusty speaks for Cloudface when ASL isn't an option. Despite their age and declining health, both were lively and active parts of the clan! Dusty was absolutely pivotal to the expansion of the clan and establishing policies to allow it to grow rapidly and safely, while Cloudface established the official role of Right Hand and the expectations for it!

Dusty had timeline powers similar to Henry's, but he couldn't switch timelines; once he found a success, he was stuck with it. In his teenage years, he discovered he was functionally immortal, and fell into a cycle of substance abuse because of both that and other issues he had going on. He was eventually recruited into the clan, however, where he met Cloudface and was given a purpose and something to strive for. By the time he became leader, he was sober and in a much better mental state! (This was part of why he was hailed as such a good leader; he couldn't fail and was arguably in a better state than most of the leaders before and after him)

Both of them were very much Elder Queers who were very vocal and open about it to the clan, further establishing it as a safe place. Dusty used he/they pronouns and Cloudface used he/they/it, and they made no effort to hide that they were married! It caused them some issues in the beginning, but things eventually settled and homophobia/transphobia didn't become a widespread issue again until the end of Randy's reign (nothing to do with Randy themself, there was a lot of corruption rising because of their "chill" nature and it led to not only their death, but also Wilford's)

Unstoppable force (an excitable demon on Halloween with a penchant for alcohol and breaking rules) versus immovable object (an immensely stubborn former alcoholic who’s determined to make sure we don’t drink until we’re of age)

Anyway I’m checking myself into inpatient on the 7th hopefully because I’m completely in shut down and have not processed anything since I found my aunt last fall and I’ve fallen back into flirting with problematic speed use and I deff need a week to reset me weed/Benz tolerance and I keep thinking of buying a set of r***** off amazon and just going hogwild so like I need to be in a secure safe place where my medications are dispensed for me and I don’t have the temptations of recreational substance abuse I started using substances to enhance my creativity but I barely create anymore and I need to get a talk therapist bc I haven’t been in over a year and that’s the fastest rout. So yeah if I go radio silent for a week starting on the 7th that is why. The plane is crashing but I am going to land it on the water before it ignites this time. Sort of just a medical maintainance visit. In the time between get ready for some unhinged shit *straps on clown wig*

G, L, U, Z 👀👀

Alphabet Ask Meme | Accepting!

.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Diamond is very gentle physically! Even during playful interactions, he's like -- he'll tousle someone's hair but he is way less likely to, say, noogie them, you know?

Even in adversarial situations, he's still pretty controlled. He's much more likely to push, grab, or restrain someone than he is to hit them, for example.

He's, uh. A good bit less gentle emotionally, though. Or... at the very least, it's pretty situational. xD He can be snappish and sarcastic, especially if he thinks someone is being foolish or selfish. And even if the other person hasn't done anything wrong, he can get pretty prickly when he's uncomfortable. He's also bossy af in many circumstances, and he will absolutely tear apart any flaws he thinks he sees in other folk's suggestions.

(...he'll often feel guilty afterwards, especially if the person winds up genuinely upset. But he still Does It sldkghd.)

.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Diamond loves kids. He will pretty much always try to meet them on their level, and is often happy to play with them. He has a heck of a lot more patience and tolerance for kids than he does for adults. xD

He's also very…. respectful? He treats them as conversational equals, outside of adjusting his vocabulary as needed and, like, trying to stick to age appropriate ways of approaching various topics.

And he's, uh. Keenly aware of how little agency and privacy and bodily autonomy kids are afforded in many cultures. That definitely affects how he interacts with them.

.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Uh. Hm.

I mean, he definitely struggles with substance abuse. Having a simple way to shut his brain off or to trigger a better mood for a while is something that is very easy for him to start relying on way too heavily; to the detriment of anything else in his life, and often in place of doing the work to Actually Address whatever is distressing him. And that's even before he's developed any physiological dependencies in any given body.

He is fully aware of the cycle and does genuinely try to stay out of it, but. He gets tired. And sometimes his circumstances are just genuinely shitty in a way he can’t fix.

Otherwise... he has a tendency to get. Idk how to describe it. Possessive? About his mistakes? He will admit to them, he will talk about them if he’s the one in control of the conversation, but he HATES letting anyone else weigh in on them. It doesn’t matter whether they’re weighing in to let him know how his mistakes are negatively affecting them, or weighing in with the intentions of helping or forgiving him, either way he hates it and often gets super avoidant. :’)

(This, too, is an issue that he is Aware of. But. It’s still like pulling teeth for him to talk himself into overcoming it sldkghlks.)

.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Even asleep, the general telepathic vibe around Diamond still affects him. He sleeps better when there are other folk who are Also Sleeping in his general vicinity, and he tends to sleep poorly if there are too many people awake around him -- even if they’re perfectly quiet.

So regardless of how late he’s stayed up, he tends to wind up waking at the same time as anyone else in his household. And, uh. Working night shifts in the long term tends to go badly for him. :’D

WARNING: discussion of episode 4 of h/azbin h/otel and the controversy around the "poison" music scene. I'm putting the trigger warnings up top just to make sure everyone sees them.

TRIGGER WARNING:

mention of physical and sexual abuse, mention of substance abuse, discussion of abuse in the field of sexwork, mention of selfdestructive tendencies

okay I made it through the controversial "poison" song scene in ep 4 and yes it is showing a crap ton of graphic shit over a popsong but who ever said it was played for laughs and/or shockvalue has the media literacy of a child or is trying to intentionally stir up shit because just from the way it was set up, right from the moment the plot of the episode really gets rolling, you can absolutely 100% tell that the whole segment is supposed to be a self aware depiction of the duality of how angel on one hand loves the thrill of his lifestyle and the benefits it gives him but on the other hand he is 100% aware of how he is destroying himself and suffers greatly from it and the people who force him to stay in that lifestyle no matter if he wants to leave or not and he blames himself for his own suffering because he signed a contract he can't really get out of.

It clearly shows that he gave up on himself in that regard and you see it in the way he actively pushes away efforts of others to help him and gets apologetic for his abuser and how exhausted he is from putting on a mask in his day to day life to cover up and hidehow broken he actually is so he overplays the role of the perma-horny pornstar to make himself or others feel like he is totally in control and everything is good and jazzy.

Like idk if people realize this but this is actually the reality for a lot of abuse victims in the sexwork industry. They're stuck, they are slaves under contract, they feel like they have nowhere to go and push away help because they are scared of what will happen when their abuser finds out or don't see the point in trying and to numb the pain they turn to substance abuse, gaslight themselves into "enjoying" their work or maybe even do find a little bit of solace in the actual sexwork if really do enjoy that part of the job (<- because spoiler alert, there are indeed people out there who like doing sexwork)

I'm not saying that it is done well or tastefully because I don't think that I can judge that appropriately and it is extremely graphic but it sure as shit is not playing absue for jokes.

What I am saying however is that this episode should have absolutely had an additional triggerwarning right after the title screen at the very least.

personal

There’s just been a lotta moments recently where I realize I straight up don’t remember events or times in the past three years because I was drinking. Or that I realized that I know events have occurred or that I went to X place or watched or did X thing but then trying to find the memory and realizing I can’t access it because I was actually drunk throughout and don’t have the memory.

And I don’t really feel upset about it.

Like, it’s good motivation to keep sober and not venture back into “okay, well, maybe this time I’ll have a handle on it”. It’s good in that way, because it’s showing me that damn, my memory of the order of events or passage of time from the past 3 years is so warped because of my drinking. Like my drinking wasn’t just unproductive, it really has impacted my time being 20-22 years old.

And I’m glad I’m managing to remain more or less neutral and not get carried away with guilt or shame.

But there’s just been all these reminders recently — photos or videos — of events or things that I don’t have memories of at all. I knew they transpired but seeing proof of it and being so disconnected it’s just taken me aback.

I guess it’s just having to reconcile my perception of my drinking with the reality of it.

A recent study has revealed that the majority of young adults aged 18-24 in the United States dream of becoming famous, and one of the motivating factors in their ambition is to gain access to luxurious lifestyles and substances, such as alcohol and drugs.

The study, conducted by the University of Missouri, surveyed over 1,800 young Americans and asked them to rate several reasons for wanting fame on a scale of 1-7. The most common responses included access to money, cars, clothes, parties, and material things, as well as being recognized by peers and opportunities to travel.

When asked to elaborate, the majority of respondents cited partying, drinking, and drug use as the primary reasons they wanted to be famous. Some even expressed the desire to use these substances in excess as a way to cope with personal struggles.

While alcohol and drug use might help these young adults temporarily escape their problems, these substances can also make their issues worse in the long run. Abuse of alcohol and drugs can lead to health risks, addiction, impaired judgment, and even death.

In addition, the majority of respondents in the study expressed the belief that fame would bring them happiness, but this isn't necessarily true. While becoming famous might provide access to material wealth and experiences, it can also come with its own set of struggles.

The takeaway from this study is that young people should be mindful of the risks associated with alcohol and drug use and be aware that fame isn't a guaranteed path to happiness. In the long run, it's better to pursue your dreams through hard work and dedication instead of relying on potentially dangerous substances to get ahead.

Growing up is crazy you can fele ur frontal lobe developing and then you'll be driving in the car and be like "oh wait I never had any role models I actually looked up to and the one I did exchanged contact with his family for meth maybe that's why I'm a little fucked up and have no sense of self or purpose" and then you just have to carry on with your day because you have a job and bills to pay

SLOP

^^^ made this one for international ace day!!! happy asexual !!!!!!

cw for self harm , discussion of self harm , drugs / alcohol , substance abuse and KISSING!!!!!!!!!!! under the cut !

i want them DEAD i hate THEM i HAAAAATE THEM