life or death (tc*st/general freaks dni you know who you are GO AWAY)
tws for: blood, violence, injury, minor character death, panic attacks, emeto, guns
please don't read if you can't handle these things!! totally understandable!! this is just an exploration of how i think the turtles would react in a life or death situation (specifically donnie) bc im tired of people thinking donnie would like. kill as a funny haha. it wouldnt be funny nor haha ok bye
It all happened so fast. Too fast.
One moment they were just on a normal mission, fighting the dregs of the foot clan that had somehow stuck around even after the Shredder and Kraang disasters and then the next Leo and Mikey were on the ground.
Donnie hadn't even seen it happen, but they'd heard it. A loud crack, popping in their ears like a firework had just been set off.
Except it wasn't a firework.
Raph made a small, choked-off noise. Donnie looked at the foot goons.
Metal glinted in the moonlight and all too soon Donnie realized what had just happened. What had happened twice.
Leo, or Mikey, or fuck even both, had just been shot.
With a gun. A real gun, with a real bullet.
Mikey wasn't even sixteen yet, and they and Leo had only just turned seventeen.
Donnie locked eyes with the goon who held the gun.
"Raph. Turn Leo and Mikey around."
He heard shuffling, small sobs and even quieter shushing. Leo was comforting Mikey, but Donnie could barely hear it over the blood rushing in their ears.
They could smell blood.
The goon raised his gun again, aiming at Raph.
Donnie lunged, near feral, teeth bared as they swung their bō down as hard as they could.
They heard a loud sickening crack as it connected with the goon's head, the shell of mystic energy just as hard as high grade titanium. The gun skidded across the alley and another goon scrambled to pick it up, but Donnie was faster. They felt blood splatter onto their arms as they swung their bō like a bat, hitting the goons head sideways.
Donnie heard their neck snap.
There was only one more. Donnie moved again, but a strong hand scooped them up and refused to let go. They kicked and screamed, biting and flailing as their bō clattered to the ground.
"-Onnie, Donnie, it's just me! It's Raph!"
"..Raph?"
"Hey Dee. It's okay, the last one ran away."
"Leo, Mikey, are they-"
"They're gonna be okay. Leo portaled 'em both outta here. Might need stitches, but nothing fatal."
Donnie felt all the fight drain out of them. They looked down.
Their stomach lurched.
"I- Raph, they aren't-"
"I know, Dee."
The goons weren't breathing. Blood pooled under both of their bodies, splattered across Donnie's face, hands and plastron.
The second goon's neck was bent at an angle Donnie never wanted to remember.
"Raph, Raph put me down, I think I'm-" They gagged loudly, and Raph gently set them down as they emptied the contents of their stomach onto the already dirty ground of the alley.
Raph rubbed their back soothingly, like he hadn't just watched his younger sibling commit murder.
Oh god, they were a murderer.
Donnie heaved again, eyes burning with tears and the smell of blood. Blood that wasn't their own.
There wasn't even a scratch on their body.
Donnie looked back at the bodies, the weight of what they had done hitting them full force. They sobbed, dry heaved one last time and scrambled into their big brothers arms.
"R-Raph, wanna go home now, please. Please."
Raph held them tighter and Donnie buried their face into his neck, shaking. They curled into themselves as much as possible, still-wet blood smearing further.
They killed someone. They killed two people.
And they had been about to to kill three.
Why? Just because one goon had a gun? One goon who'd shot two of their brothers? Their brothers who could fight for themselves?
Donnie burrowed further into Raph's chest, clinging onto him like it'd somehow erase what they'd just done.
-
Raph had been shocked when Leo and Mikey had been shot. It was obvious that the goon with the gun had been aiming to pick them off one-by-one, starting with Mikey.
Donnie had frozen when they heard the first gunshot, and seemed to barely notice the second.
They had turned to look at Leo and Mikey, going pale at the sight of their blood before snapping their head towards the goon holding the gun. Obviously Donnie had noticed something Raph hadn't, because one second they were right in the guns trajectory and the next they were wrapping their staff in mystic energy and cracking it over the goons head, snarling so loud their voice cracked with it.
Raph had turned Mikey and Leo around like they'd asked, but he was still watching. Watching as Donnie brought their staff down on the goons head again before turning to the next one.
The second goon ran towards the fallen gun, but Donnie beat them there and swung their bō like a bat and Raph heard a loud snap, then a thud.
Donnie turned towards the third goon, already in the process of running away. They still hadn't stopped hissing and snarling.
"Raph, go get Donnie. Me 'n Mikey are okay."
Raph didn't need to be told twice. He sprinted towards Donnie, grabbing them as tightly as possible as they hissed and spit, flailing wildly.
"Donnie, Donnie it's just me! It's Raph!"
The hissing stopped. Their eyes cleared.
"...Raph?" They croaked out, body still thrumming with tension.
"Hey Dee. It's okay, the last one ran away."
Donnie looked at him, and Raph tried to ignore the blood smeared across their face.
He assured them that their brothers were okay and subtly tried to angle them away from the bodies.
It didn't work.
Donnie saw.
Raph watched them go pale, paler than he'd ever seen as the realization dawned on them.
They frantically wiggled in Raph's grip, gagging loudly. Raph let them down and averted his eyes as they vomited on the ground, shaking and sobbing.
"I'm a murderer. Fuck, I'm a murderer."
They puked again. Raph rubbed their back.
They looked at the bodies again and made a pained noise, choking on their own sobs. They scrambled into Raph's arms, clinging to him and trying to hide their body from the rest of the world.
"R-Raph, wanna go home please. Please." They begged, voice wracked with sobs.
Tears soaked into his scales as he walked back to the lair.
Donnie kept mumbling to themselves, claws digging into their arms as they tried desperately to burrow deeper into Raph's chest. They were shaking so hard that Raph thought they might shake out of their shell.
The lair was quiet when Raph walked in. Donnie was hyperventilating worse than Raph had ever seen.
Casey rushed into the main room, hockey stick raised in the air.
"Case, it's just me, no need to worry!"
Casey took one look at Donnie and dropped his hockey stick.
"Shit." He swore.
He looked up at Raph.
"That's not their blood, is it?"
Raph shook his head. Casey's face fell.
"CJ? You look like you know something."
"Yeah..Uhm." Casey coughed. "This happened in my future. Or-Well, something like it. Leonardo and Michelangelo got hurt and Donatello just... Snapped. Sen-sorry, Leo told me about it once. They..." Casey cut himself off.
Raph didn't need to hear more.
Donnie made another loud, pained noise, akin to a wail. Raph hugged them tighter and Casey winced.
"I'm. I'm gonna grab their weighted blanket and maybe call April? If you want me to."
"I think...I think we'll call April later. Could you get pops for me?"
Casey nodded and shuffled out of the room, posture tense and uncomfortable.
Raph sat down on the floor, cradling his second-youngest sibling.
God, they were all so young.
Raph rocked back and forth in a way he desperately hoped was comforting, he'd never seen Donnie like this.
Sure he'd seen Donnie in similar states of distress but...
Never like this.
Splinter walked into the room, eyes locking onto Donnie, then flitting up to Raph.
"Is that-"
"Not their blood."
Splinter sighed.
"You are all so young. You shouldn't have to deal with this. What happened?"
"Leo and Mikey got shot, and-"
"Raph. Raph was next. I saw, I saw the guy aiming at him and I couldn't, I couldn't think I was so scared and- And angry. I-"
"It's alright Donatello. You don't need to explain yourself. In your situation many people would do the same thing. Situations like those are based less on logic and more on emotions and instinct."
"But- But I killed them. They're dead. I did that."
"Yes, you did. But tell me, if you were not in mortal danger would you have acted differently?"
"Of course! I just-"
"Didn't have time to think. Sometimes when we are scared and in danger we act differently. That's just life my child. It does not make you a bad person, you were defending you and your brothers lives."
Donnie sniffled.
Splinter gently pressed a kiss to the top of Donnie's head and patted their back.
"The only thing that matters to me is that you are all safe and alive."
Donnie relaxed, if only slightly. Raph was still worried about them.
Casey came back into the room with Donnie's weighted blanket and a packet of wipes, along with hydrogen peroxide.
"Um. It helps blood not stain." He explained, and then flitted over to the living room, still tense.
For a kid who grew up in the apocalypse, he was suprisingly...Squeamish.
Raph wiped the blood off of Donnie's skin as they averted their eyes and splinter unwrapped their mask and brought it to the lair's makeshift laundry room.
Raph wrapped the weighted blanket over the younger turtles shoulders once they were clean enough (for him anyways, Donnie would probably take a shower later. Or three.) and stood up again.
He walked to the infirmary where Leo and Mikey were sat in an impromptu turtle pile on the larger bed. Mikey's side was bandaged, while Leo's leg seemed to have fresh stitches.
Mikey chirped to Donnie who quietly chirped back. Leo joined in, then Raph, and soon the infirmary was filled with the sounds of various chirps and squeaks.
Raph set Donnie down on the cot next to their brothers and Leo immediately wrapped his arms around Donnie and squeezed while Mikey gently drummed on their shell. The tension fully faded from their body and they were asleep in seconds, exhaustion finally claiming them.
Leo idly pet their shell and looked to Raph.
"So, what happened after I left with Mikey?"
"Donnie finally got to go lethal is what happened."
Leo sucked air in through his teeth.
"Shit."
Raph sat down on the floor with a heavy thump.
"Shit is right. Never seen Dee so...I can barely even explain it. They were scared of themselves. I never wanna see 'em like that again." Raph wrung his hands together, worry not abated yet.
Mikey placed a hand on his shoulder.
"Worrying ourselves sick isn't gonna be much help to them. Though, I also don't think Dr. Feelings is qualified for this. Honestly, we should all probably see a therapist anyways."
Leo and Raph nodded in agreement. Donnie snuffled in their sleep before nuzzling further into Leo.
"Well, if I never see a gun again it'll be too soon. Nearly gave me a heart attack seeing you go down like that, Mikey."
"Yeah, it was really scary for all of us I think. But we're all okay for now, and that's all that matters!" Mikey gave his older brothers a tired yet vibrant smile.
"Yeah. We're okay."
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Ya know what... let's be unhinged about my ocs. Will this post be structured? Hell no, I'm gonna ramble my ass off and maybe someday I'll make an oc intro post that actually makes sense but for today - I am here to scream into the void about my ocs.
ROBIN, the best girly, she has so much fucking trauma, I seriously projected on this bitch SO hard. Abusive mommy? CHECK. No father? CHECK. Brother who they used to love but have complicated feelings for now? CHECK CHECK CHECK.
So Robin, my love, is a DnD oc. She's an elven rouge who's ex-nobility - super generic right? NO, YOU FOOLS, YOU FELL RIGHT INTO MY TRAP.
She's an affair baby between her mother, the queen, and a commoner. When she was born her dad knew she wasn't his because... she's POC and her entire family is pasty white, it was not hard to tell. ANYWAY, Dad moves the family into another residence away from the main castle because her mom cheated. Refuses to see this kid.
Robin's mom ain't super pleased with that and takes her anger out on her affair baby aka Robin. That's ok though, she had like 7 siblings who love her!
... So mom manipulates siblings, but it's ok her brother Tokala would never get manipulated and leave her!!!
... So she has no family or friends. SYKE, she gets a lady-in-waiting named Laosie - basically her mother figure/best friend for her entire life. Makes her learn more about commoners, Robin sees how they're mistreated and underpaid and goes "fuck this" *becomes robin hood and steals from rich people to give to the poor*
So ignoring the physical and emotional abuse everything is going well, she has friends!!! Nothing can go wrong!!!!
... So she tries to steal a necklace but OH NO it was a set-up! By who? FUCKING TOKALA. He arrests Robin and throws her in jail KNOWING SHE'LL GET EXECUTED FOR HER CRIMES.
It's ok though, Loasie saves her and they run away and live happily ever after :)
SYKE, Laosie tries to save her but as they make a run for it Laoise falls and is unable to keep up with Robin. Robin ends up having to leave her, unaware if she's still alive, and run into the woods.
She runs for 2 weeks before passing out in an alleyway where she's picked up by some bakery/inn owners who adopt her - They're her lesbian cat moms, they have like 100 grandkids and Robin lives in their attic and I LOVE THEM.
Robin is my lil blorbo, I made her and I put all my trauma into her and I tied it with a pretty lil bow and I kissed her gently before yeeting her at a wall.
ALSO, last session (it was a 1on1) she adopted a brainwashed kid from the enemy because he was 18 and working alone at a prison and she was like "What the fuck, you are mine-"
I have art of her but my friend drew it so I need permission to post it here so I might add that later, but also they might say no cause the art is old, but I love it anyway :)
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