#closer up
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kids remind me, often, of the things i've taught myself out of.
i have a big dog. he looks like a deer. he is taller than most young children. while we were on a trail the other day, a boy coming our direction saw us and froze. he took a step back and said: "i'm feeling nervous. your - your dog is kind of big."
goblin and i both stopped walking immediately. "he is kind of a big dog," i admitted. "he's called a greyhound. they are gentle but they are pretty tall, which is kind of scary, you're right. their legs are so long because they are made for running fast. i am sorry we scared you. would you like us to stand still while you move past us, or would you feel more safe in your body if we move and you stay still?'
"oh. i didn't know that about - greyhounds. i think i ... i want to stay still," he said. at this point, his adult had caught up to us. "i'm nervous about the dog," he told her, "so i'm - i'm gonna stay still." she didn't argue. she didn't make fun of him. she just smiled at him and at me and held his hand while goblin and i, with as wide of a berth as we could make, crept our way through.
behind us, i heard him exhale a deep breath and kind of laugh - "he was really big, huh? she said it's because greyhounds have to go fast."
"he was big," she said. "i understand why that could have made you a little scared."
"yeah. next time i - next time do you think i could maybe ask to touch him? when - i mean, next time, maybe, if i'm not nervous."
later, going to a work event, in the big city, i stood outside, trembling. my social anxiety as a caught bird in my chest. i took a deep breath and turned to my coworker. she's not even really my friend yet. i told her: "i feel nervous about this. i am not used to meeting new people, ever since covid."
she laughed, but not in a mean way. she said she was nervous too. she reached her hand out and held mine, and we both took another deep breath and walked in like that, interlinked. a few people asked us - together? - and i told the truth: i feel nervous, and she's helping. over and over i watched people relax too, admitting i feel really kind of shy lately actually, thank you for saying that.
the next time i go to an event, and i feel a little scared, i ask right away: wanna hold hands? this feels a little dangerous. i hesitate less. i don't hide it as much. i watch for other people who are also nervous and say - it's kinda hard, huh?
i know, logically, i'm not good at asking for help. but i am also not good at noticing when i need help. i've trained myself out of asking completely, but i've also trained myself to never accept my own fears or excuses. i have trained myself to tamp down every anxiety and just-push-through. i don't know what i'm protecting myself from - just that i never think to admit it to anyone.
but every person on earth occasionally needs comfort. every person on earth occasionally needs connection. many of us were taught independence is the same thing as never needing anything.
each of us should have had an adult who heard - i feel nervous and held our hand and asked us how we could be helped to feel safe. no judgement, and no chiding. many of us did not. many of us were punished for the ways that we seemed "weak".
but here is something: i am an adult now. and i get nervous a lot, actually. and if you are an adult and you are feeling a little nervous - come talk to me. we can hold hands and figure out what will help us feel safe in our bodies. and maybe, next time, if we're brave, we can pet the dog that's passing.
#spilled ink#warm up#so i have worked in childcare as a teacher for like 15 years#hence the language behind ''what helps you be safe in your body?''#like you can tell by what i say here i have EXPERIENCE with kids.#but tbh the REAL teacher moment is watching a 6/7 year old say#''this makes me nervous#can you please not come closer?''#as a teacher i was IMMEDIATELY like ... ahh whomever is raising you is doing an EXCELLENT job holy shit#verbalizing your fears? trusting an adult to listen?#ability to recognize a way you might feel safer?#like .... this kid's caregivers.... that one moment... i was like .... who are u i wanna french kiss you big on the mouth
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drew this to cope .. why is he white….when will it end…
#klavier gavin#apollo justice#ace attorney#Can they PLEASE make a klav plush with his ACTUAL SKIN TONE im gonna die im gonna shrivel up#i have his tsum but <- he is my least favourite child#<- everyday im closer to dyeing him (tsum) like that one person did to sanrio x splatoon marina plush#iykyk
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holding back (part 2)
early access + nsfw on patreon
#just captain/lieutenant things#ghost and price are an on-and-off-again thing#they take care of each other when it comes up#and sometimes to just relieve stress#they have shared trauma from the loss of price's wing#and simon's whole...wraith business#they've known each other for a long time#and were getting closer before simon's incident but afterwards sort of hurtled into each other#it was really intense and co-dependent for a while but it's levelled out now#one day i will do an explanation post on all the dynamics of poly 141 in this au#in the meantime just enjoy price taking care of his hoard#monster 141 au#ghostprice#captain john price#simon ghost riley#cod mw2#giragi art
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You ever have those moments where an idea just... won't leave your head?
#dcu#batman#bruce wayne#green arrow#oliver queen#fake tweets#things I was not able to adequately convey in the format:#obviously Bruce's reasoning is really a lot closer to Ollie's but Bruce has a secret identity to maintain and Ollie... well#I don't know if you can make it out but his twitter profile pic is him in the Green Arrow costume and that's not accidental#also I am pretty sure that Bruce does just have the first airing date of The Price is Right saved in a corner of his mind palace#just in case it's ever relevant to a case#and he's angry at Ollie because Ollie knows that and also knows Bruce can't admit it because it would raise too many questions#also I did consider an extra scene where they tag-team harass Lex#but it just didn't sound right to me#also I put a whole load of Green Arrow references in here#Q-Core N_Singh and H_Fyff are all from the Nu52 Green Arrow runs#albeit Naomi and Henry are at least in the good Nu52 runs#obviously this is post-Snowbirds Don't Fly/Hard Travelling Heroes in general so Oliver is trolling Hal and setting up needle exchanges#and even Hal explaining to Ollie what Twilight is is a reference to one of the most dated things about the Arrow pilot:#the extremely tacky Twilight joke#anyway hope you enjoyed!
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i keep thinkin about katsuki who just doesn’t give a fuck. like, yeah he’ll walk over and pull you closer by the waist to press kisses all over your mouth to hear you giggle. and yeah he’ll groan and jokingly tell you to “stop runnin’” when he’s slobbering n’ biting all over your cheek while you try to push him away in between giggles and pecks. so what if he’s right outside of his classroom and what he’s doing is quote unquote “inappropriate ” ? you’re his girl. you mean to tell him he’s supposed to walk right past you and not try to initiate a make out session at 8 in the morning ??? while you’re looking like that ?? yeah right, mind your business glasses !!
#he would tell iida to shut tf up while pulling you closer n actively try to talk#while also try to keep the make out going#..methinks#is this ocxcanon coded ?? yeah.#WHATRE YOU GONNA DO ?? EAT MY ASS??#bakugou katsuki x reader#katsuki bakugou x reader#bakugo fluff#bakugou imagine#bakugou x reader#katsuki x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#bakugou katsuki#bakugou katuski x reader#bakugou fluff#bakugo drabble#bakugou drabble
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#black leg sanji#red leg zeff#one piece#comic#fanart#sanji vinsmoke#< the tag I use more often so just for easy navigation on my blog.#my dog of 17 years passed the other night and god knows I suck at processing things#I wanted a way to distract myself but I couldn’t Really distract myself so.#when I woke up after drawing this comic I hated how I wrote the end part#my brain was muddled so words weren’t coming to me the way I wanted it to#I was going to change it before posting it here but that feels… disingenuous. so I’m keeping it#my puppy’s name was Sunny. it’s silly of me but it makes me feel even closer to one piece now#anyway sorry for rambling#I miss my big baby
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no one knows how much it hurts when a little thing dies. when a bug runs its fate is already decided. what made him know he could get away with hurting me? he made me small enough to forget i was ever a person. i forgot and forgot under his boot.
—insp by this post from @sweatermuppet
#the bottom layer is rust dyed! i had extra from doing that its so fun. also making a moth wing top rn but the pattern is driving me insane#and illustrating and drawing for class#so im picking up the pace on soft sculptures again to relieve stress lol#my headpieces also have moths on them! those are closer to done im excited#mine#chiara’s art tag#art#bugs#moths#soft sculpture#textiles#fiber arts#fiber crafts#sewing#insects
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good mornings throughout the travel
[ID: Two comics of Vash and Wolfwood from Trigun Maximum. The second is underneath the read more.
The first is in four panels and follows Vash and Wolfwood through hotel rooms. First, Vash and Wolfwood exit adjacent rooms, and Wolfwood has sparkles floating around him as he exclaims, “Rise and shine! Ready to go?” Vash frowns, displeased, and says, Urk— Good morning to you too.”
Next, they’re in a room with two beds. Wolfwood is awake and fully dressed. He’s sitting on the bed and smoking, back turned away from the viewer and he says, “Wake up already, sleepyhead.” Vash sits up with his eyes still closed and yawns before saying good morning. After that, they’re sharing a bed, and Wolfwood gets up and says, “Morning, sunshine. Time to get up.” His body shadows Vash from the sunlight. Vash is still lying down with a blanket draped over him as he mumbles good morning.
Finally, they’re embracing in bed, both shirtless. Sunlight shines on them, but their contact allows their shadows to drape over their faces. Vash smiles, kisses the top of Wolfwood’s head, and says, “Good morning, Wolfwood.” Wolfwood sleepily says, “Mph, g’morning, needle-noggin’,” snuggling into on Vash’s shoulder. End ID] ID CREDIT
TRIMAX Vol. 10 Spoilers under read more // bonus comic
[ID: The bonus comic starts with Vash asleep in bed, fully clothed with his hair half-black. Someone says “Good morning,” and Vash says, “Morning, Wolf—w...” He trails off as Livio, holding a plate of food, stares with abject shock.
Livio says, “I’m sorry.” Vash, smiling but sweating, says, “No, it’s my bad...” Livio repeats, “I’m sorry.” Vash says, “Geez, stop apologizing,” and cuts off Livio’s “I—” with a “Good morning, Livio.” Livio quietly mumbles, “... Good morning...”
Vash sits up from the couch he was sleeping on and looks down, thinking, “... That’s right. I won’t wake up to you anymore... I have to get used to that...” End ID]
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#i just think. when theyre traveling for a long time together#sleeping in the same inns sleeping in the same rooms potentially as they get closer#realizing they dont need to pay the fee for 2 bedrooms if theyre comfortable fighting back to back#realizing they dont need to pay the fee for 2 beds after one night of being forced to sleep in same one since all the 2 beds rooms ran out#and being comfortable with it - and then after their feelings are shared#realizing theyd rather sleep and rest peacefully next to one another#and wake up slowly and enjoy the mundane while they can#i drew ww waking up first bc i dont imagine he sleeps much tbh. i think vash is a light sleeper too and more often than not#and vash goes to bed just bc he knows if he tries to leave ww would follow him#i also think vash never had someone stand guard for him before even if that isnt what he wants out of ww to do. but knowing that ww is#there means that he can actually sleep peacefully without worry that someones going to drop on him immediately. i think he'd get used tothat#and ww -- as he opens his heart more to vash -- gets comfortable staying in bed a little longer#sleeps a little better -- especially when they start to share a bed bc there's a warmth there that he can't help but cave into#bc he hasn't had that in a long time.#ruporas art
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something in your magnetism (2x01 / 6x18)
#eddie “let me scooch on over a little closer to my boy best friend for no real reason” diaz#the way he HALF GETS UP to move just a little nearer in top right..... i feel deranged.... HE'D JUST MET THE GUY#buddie#911#mine#my rewatch is going so well im being sooooo normal
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some more character studies ehe
#one piece#vinsmoke sanji#roronoa zoro#tony tony chopper#nico robin#art#the highest honor i can give to a character is to make them smoke when theres nothing suggesting the do it in canon#its like my personal art love language#sanji is leaning on the rail angstily type of a smoker. robin is squatting casually on thr ship deck type of smoker#also i grew up in the region that has active reindeer farming. i just had to color chopper closer to a real reindeer
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Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 4: Deranged Bedfellows
(Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4.5)
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#mdzs au#lan wangji#nie huaisang#Yungmeng Jiang training arc AU#This is the *first* part of what was supposed to be a much longer comic (LWJ's morning routine in full).#I'll finish the remaining part as a reblog to this post! I just think this is the funnier chunk.#Lan Wangji absolutely is the kind of person who has a perfect internal alarm clock for when it is time to get up.#He already has a dedicated sleep schedule. He is accurate within 10 seconds of 5am every day.#I think the Jiang disciples are most likely used to waking up around 6:00-7:00am#But the allure of having a guaranteed time keeper getting you up in the morning is worth the earlier hour.#I imagine they started outside lwj's door and slowly moved closer as the weeks went on.#Now LWJ has to cope with being way too warm in the night from all the extra body heat.#LWJ is not a fan of this but they scamper off immediately after he wakes up and they at least show initiative to follow routine.#NHS joins in only because he is a chronically heavy sleeper and needs this level of intervention to get up early.#His boldness would be a death sentence in the cloud recesses but here? Whole new game.#Yungmeng Jiang isn't a lawless land. It's just a land with different laws.#And one of those laws is to forcefully domesticate the catboy coded Lan boy through any means necessary.#Completely different tangent: I drew the thumbnail for this before I did comic 134. I then realized they had the same visual gag.#So I had to space this one out so it didn't seem like I repeated the waking up joke. That's my secret and all of you have to keep it.#And in my land the law is that snitches get itches (telepathically transfers hives onto your body)
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barista!eddie drawing a pentagram or whatever with the table cleaner while closing and accidentally summoning demon!steve, who's absolutely stoked to see a cozy little coffee shop for the first time
#steddie#steve x eddie#steddie idea#eddie x steve#eddie munson#steve harrington#steve harrington x eddie munson#steddie st#steddie stranger things#steddie fic idea#steddie au#anyway fic idea up for grabs cause i won't let myself start another wip until my longfic is wayyyy closer to finished#barista!eddie munson#omg thats a tag#slay#demon!steve harrington#alternatively (upon seeing the demon eddie tag): eddies also a demon and steves just new and didnt realize he can just leave hell on his ow#if anyone uses this tag me i wanna see what you do with it 💕#devon thinks sometimes
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Shiny Mew & Giratina (Origin Form) ko-fi doodle for Quickpaint!
#artists on tumblr#pokemon#giratina#mew#shiny mew#gotchibam arts#ko-fi doodle#thank you sm for requesting!! ;w; <3#I know mew should be smaller but let's just say giratina is farther & mew is closer to the viewer hhhhdjgjhdf#ngl one of the tricky things abt doing the pokedoodles is figuring out their size differences#I actually have to look up each one of their heights before I start working#and sometimes there's inconsistency bet. the height in games vs. the height you see in anime so yeah ._.#it's a lot more work than ppl might think 🥲
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Dropout newsletter this week:
Me:
#AABRIA IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO THOSE STOATS I SWEAR TO GOD#so not ready for things to get even more fucked up (and we know they will)#i just want to watch this little weird and delightful family get closer#see jaysohn the karate boy and lila sneaking around to eavesdrop on adults#and tula being a tired but proud mum and showing her more mischievous side when with viola#and thorn - my newest beloved wifeguy#and ofc ava being the most badass grandma to ever grandma#is it too much?? i just want them to be silly and happy together#dimension 20#burrow's end
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