I know there’s rocks in your throat and knives in your mouth every time you breathe, and it’s ice by the time it leaves. I know the sobs that wracked you like an earthquake in my arms like I know the way fleeing tears left trails down your face. And every day it’s like flipping a coin, sometimes you don’t feel it, the aching pit carved out of you and left somewhere to die, and others, it’s all you can feel. The way every muscle tells you that you made the wrong choice, to go back, tell her you’re sorry, tell her it was a mistake, that you were blind-sighted and didn’t know what you were doing, offer her your hand and ask for forgiveness and give her that last chance you know she doesn’t deserve. Try and pull her out of the pit where she lays her head to rest and dreams sweet every night, knowing you’ll come back and try again the next day, knowing all she has to do is say “I’m trying” and you will believe her. And she convinces you again and again to fight a war you can’t win under the guise of “friends help each other.” Yes, they do, but never like this.

Friends pull each other up, but they climb too. You can only help someone who will help themselves. And someday, when your body stops shaking and the light in your eyes once snuffed out, renews like an eternal star, I know you will understand, you made the right choice. You can’t help someone who won’t help themselves, but you also can’t help the people who actually need it without helping yourself first.

my friend, a master of quotes, quoted this to me yesterday... and it's beautiful

He who binds to himself a joy Does the winged life destroy He who kisses the joy as it flies Lives in eternity's sunrise - William Blake

The way I'm interpreting this poem is that often we're so focused on the static thing or experience that made us happy instead of viewing the world from a place of contentment... so that whenever those joyful moments occur, it's just a bonus.

I'm trying to work on this in my own life.

I want to be happy and grateful for all that I have now (and I am) but not be in want or yearn for more (which, unfortunately, I am). I always think about Buddhism and other spiritual practices that say that yearning for what you don't have... is often the cause of suffering.

I suppose living in the present is really hard when the trauma of your unmet needs of the past still haunts you.

I choose, nowadays, as an intentional practice to keep integrating into becoming so whole... that I can enjoy the joys in my life instead of stifling them in place.

A witch told me earlier this summer that that's how she viewed narcissistic abuse as well - that they saw our worth and our beauty, that we were unicorns. So they trapped the unicorns and dissected them... not realizing that we would not be as magical if we were not allowed to thrive, just as we were.

leaving an abusive relationship not only felt freeing for my sanity & wellbeing, but also for my lineage. basically every woman in my family (on both sides) has only known controlling, emotionally immature and abusive men and because they are so deep into their trauma bonds are too afraid to be alone. I can physically and spiritually feel how proud my angels are of me for breaking this generational curse and choosing myself

Just saw someone ask for someone's irl age in their bio for "safety" or some shit and--

Friends, I'm telling you: this is the internet. There should be no expectation of access to your personal information.

Say nothing! Or if that doesn't work for you, fucking lie. Use a pseud! Say you live in a snail's shell off the coast of New Brunswick! Answer every info-gathering question asked of you with a different, less comprehensible answer! Tell anyone who says you've got to put your real age in your bio that you're 85, ta ever so, and they're very rude to bother you with this!

But your first step to internet safety is to say nothing.

Make it harder for bad actors to find you, manipulate you, or steal all your shit.

The good actors won't fucking ask.

What progress at home has biden enacted? What policies of his show that he is making progress that prove he is actually different than trump?

I like to pretend I have faith in humanity, so I'll answer as if you're asking this in good faith.

Biden's DEA has lifted restrictions on telehealth prescriptions to make appointments and assistance more accessible.

He put a funding package into place to help unhoused people get access to mental and physical healthcare, as well as short-term and long-term housing.

He has attempted and is still attempting to get student debt relief through - this was blocked by Republican judges appointed by Trump, but he's still working on it.

Infrastructure repair - his administration has budgeted funds to actually fix some severely-damaged and frequently-traveled bridges.

Trying to expand access to healthcare to include undocumented immigrants who came to the USA as children (Dreamers) under the Affordable Care Act. Support for Navigator programs and outreach has also been increased.

He has vetoed Republican-led bills that were attempting to overturn environmental protections - one that would have forbidden investment fund managers to consider climate change in their portfolios (I have two degrees in accounting and this is actually huge), and another that would have overturned restrictions on agricultural runoff into our waterways.

He and his administration worked for ages to get rail workers paid sick days.

This is just some of what he's been doing. Meanwhile, Trump and other Republicans want to criminalize the lives of LGBT people like you and me. They want to eliminate no-fault divorce and force births that will kill parents or devastate them financially. They have stated flat out that they want to install a military dictatorship in the USA. They attempted to put that in motion on January 6th, 2021. They failed once. They will do better next time.

One party wants to house the homeless and expand social safety nets, while the other one wants to criminalize homelessness. One of them wants a future in which I might be able to vote to change how much of a war machine my country is, while the other one wants to eliminate my ability to vote entirely. Those are not the same. Those literally are opposites.

At the end of the day, all you and I can do is choose to do the least amount of harm possible. You and I cannot choose to do no harm. This is the USA, we sell war, you and I cannot choose to do no harm. I wish we could, my god do I wish we could, but that is not an option. So we grieve for the harm we couldn't eliminate and work to minimize the harm that is done. Despite all the crap they support, Democrats are the minimum amount of harm right now. Acting like they aren't is exactly what brought us to an election where our options are a future where we are either wading in blood or drowning in it.

Not voting for Biden will not help Palestine. Not voting for Biden will guarantee a Republican president who will make the situation in Palestine WORSE. AND it'll hurt a lot of other places as well, both at home and abroad, because Republicans are about business and the USA is in the business of war! And I would very much like that to change someday! I would very much like to someday be able to choose to do no harm! And I know what I have to do to try for that future, so what are YOU going to do? There is no standing off to the side in this. If you aren't helping pull, you're the dead weight we're pulling. Are you going to dig your feet into the mud and blood and drown us there? Or are you going to get the fuck off your ass, grit your teeth, and help us pull free?

Trying to remember the last time I played hide and seek. The last time I said hi to everyone on the street or saw the girls I spent every day of six years with. The last time my dad picked me up, or my mum brushed my hair. When was the last time I dressed without consideration? There is so much to think about now. I remember falling on the grass at school and making stories with the clouds. Hanging upside down from the swing and realising how big the world was. I wonder on the path of growing when we stop feeling big. I am taller now, smaller still.

Everything reminds me of him

Oh and also I love my fellow fags

CALLUM KEITH RENNIE as Captain Rayner in Star Trek: Discovery

Wanting to be chosen by someone who isn’t choosing themselves only to realize that you’re also not choosing yourself is FUCKING HEARTBREAKING

the modern villainisation of demeter will never cease to enrage me bc it wasn’t ENOUGH to just take a story of a girl being torn from her home from everyone who loved her and dragged away to be forced into marriage and twist and corrupt it until it was a romance story about female empowerment that wasn’t ENOUGH they HAD to take the original hero of the story the mother who went to every length to find her daughter again to bring her home and demonise her character until she was this horrific overbearing unloving mother. overprotective controlling without love. they turn the story of her grief at her YOUNG daughter being torn from her without her knowledge into the story of a misunderstood bad boy and a horrible cruel mother who won’t give him a chance and i really find it sickening. it’s ironic, that the ever misogynist age of hellenistic greece, has a better grasp of how disgusting and horrifying this situation was that a modern, self proclaimed ‘feminist’ era.

When to Break Up

When to Break Up

It’s so hard to end a relationship, especially for women. We’re taught to be selfless and always consider everyone else first. We’re socialized to be codependent, to sacrifice our wants and needs to please others. So we’re not really codependent, we’re just conforming to the ways our culture expects us to. Society has taught us to defer to others and to be nurturing to others first. It…

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staring death in the face

Continuation from the previous what if All Men Are Equal gave Chuuya total control over his ability, reverting it to its pre-lab state.

Maybe Chuuya can do something different. Maybe he could give it a try. It's not like he's being held by the Agency, he's free now, it's all up to him.

But I'd say Chuuya has never quite had this many options to make his choice from before.

i'm not trying to start anything, but i just saw a post criticizing misha collins for not choosing to quit spn when the network was homophobic and he was "profiting from homophobia" and i just think it's kind of... wild? that young people think that a person could just. decide to not work for a prejudiced corporation when they have a family to provide for?

i don't know, i don't even really want to debate or go into it more, but it's just kind of surreal to see opinions from people who weren't there in 2013 when misha collins was literally the only person willing to support not just destiel shippers but actual queer and trans and ace fans. i have no doubt that he saved lives through the care he showed to vulnerable young people who desperately needed to see someone give a damn about them. he's significantly flawed in many ways, but he will always be a saint in my eyes for how much he cared.

like i just don't think that people accustomed to this modern era where hardly anyone blinks over two men kissing on tv can understand what it was like when we were mocked and silenced, when we weren't allowed to breathe the word 'destiel' without getting booed, and misha was the only damn person who spoke up for us. the only one. who was probably risking his job in saying the things he did.

things have changed. that's wonderful. don't judge people surviving previous eras by the standards of today.