#ch 3
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*Alice stares at the duo, tears still staining her red face. She finally breaks the silence*
*Frisk looks at Chara… their eyes widened with horror. They slowly hold their head as they fall to their knees tears streaming down their face. The memories of their parents flooding their mind*
*Frisk gets pulled into a hug by Chara’s wings*
*She lets her chin rest on top of Frisk’s head as she holds them tight in her arms and wings*
*Frisk slowly hugs chara and rubs their face against her poncho*
*She kisses their head and looks at Alice*
*she wipes her tears*
*She gives a gentle, heartwarming smile*
#undertale#datatale#datatale au#deltarune#frisk#chara#charisk#alice#ask blog#ask dcf#ch 3#dark world#darkerland arc
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"On the Edge"
Avengers AU - Chapter 3
Previous
Characters: Brock Rumlow x reader, oc!daughter Addy
Posted: March 28th
WARNINGS:
Like, Comments, & Reblogs are always appreciated and loved.
**Please Do Not Repost or 'Fix' My Work**
Read on Ao3
“You're not very smooth ya know?”
You squeaked and skipped a step, coming to a teetering stop at the edge of the staircase. You could feel yourself begin to teeter more forwards than back onto your heels when a large warm hand wrapped around your midsection and you were directed back to safety. You looked over your shoulder and glared at him before childishly turning away and stepping down once and then twice, more confident in your steps than necessary.
“I'm sorry.”
You paused, keeping your lips sealed but not turning back around. You wouldn't be nice to him, he didn't deserve it. He didn't want to be friends after all. Of course you knew that was childish thinking but, but your feelings were hurt.
“I–” Brock swallowed, you hadn't kept going, so that was something, right? “I'm not good with people. Addy is all I got.”
“You work don't you?”
Brock grinned, even if you sounded a little short at least you had waited and now talked back to him. “The people I work with aren't the friendliest. I don't know how to be nice.”
You bit your lip. Fidgeted with your purse, you wouldn't give in… but it was polite to accept an apology right? “Well an apology is a start.”
“Addy said so,” he nodded even though you hadn't turned to look at him. He hadn't been able to get your face out of his mind, angry and tearful all at once as you shouted at him before slamming the door in his face. He realized it must have taken everything in you to do it. Brock thought it was cute. Somehow he figured you were not the kind to do something like that, and after thinking about it all night, he knew you weren't the kind to bring men like that asshole home. Hell, he hadn't even been sure he'd had a neighbor before that night you were so quiet.
You looked over your shoulder at him with a small smile. “She sure is smart, where she gets it from I'm not too sure.”
Brock flashed his teeth, shrugging as he moved to lean against the railing just above you, “not so sure myself, but she does go to school so, I'm thinking her teacher is nice.” He didn't miss the way your eyes were rimmed in red and you hadn't put on make-up. No way that was because of him? “Look,” he started, rubbing the back of his neck, “I'm making dinner tonight. You should come over.” He waited, a little nervous, there was no way you were still crying cause of him? That would be too egotistical even for him.
You hesitated, he was rough looking but he leaned against the railing of the stairs and looked… soft. As soft as a man with those arms could look. “Only if I can bring dessert?”
Brock grinned, “Addy likes strawberry everything”
You smiled, “what about you?”
Brock blinked, straightening and drawing a blank, “honestly? I just eat whatever Addy likes…”
You snorted and covered your face, looking away, “you're such a dad!” You turned and held out your hand, “phone?”
Brock pulled it out of his back pocket confused but opened it and handed it to you.
“Last name?”
He scowled, “Rumlow”
You poked around it and smiled when there was a chime before handing his phone back, pulling your own from your purse and he stared down at the text he received, a response to the one above it that was simply his name. He realized it was your name.
“If you think of something you like that's sweet, just text me. Pretty sure I can pick something up in the next four hours if I can't make it.”
Brock nodded jerkily and watched as you hurried down the steps. He was pretty sure he had succeeded in whatever this was. He dragged a hand down his face, slightly exhausted and then realized– he had to cook dinner.
You had errands to get done and a few bills to pay, and your last stop was for a few groceries. Your favorite bakery was next door a few stops down and you had just asked for the petit strawberry cake that fed four when your phone chimed.
Neighbor Brock Rumlow: blackberry, if it's not too late?
Why did that make you smile? “Do you have anything with blackberries?”
“Oh! We have a great selection!”
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welcome to chapter 3 !!! i stole AFI's love like winter for this post. i alsot should acknowledge that 'fruit bats' is a real band with a very different vibe from the fictional fruit batz lol :) if there are any typos, no there aren't.
prev || next
transcript includes the wiki bio ! wiki psd can be found here
transcript:
Tati arrives around 4PM at the Copperdale library to meet Diego.
TATI: Hi.
DIEGO: Hey.
A short but awkward silence follows.
TATI: So...what do you know about vampires?
DIEGO: Not much...but I do know where a lot of them live. Have you heard of Forgotten Hollow?
TATI: Yeah! Have you heard of Fruit Batz? They're my favorite band! My boyfriend doesn't like them--more of a BMTH fan. But, anyway! Their frontman Caleb Vatore is from there.
DIEGO: Oh yeah, Fruit Batz! I love their second album 'bloodsuckerz'. Too bad Caleb quit after that.
TATI: Oh my god yeah. He's basically a recluse now from what I've heard.
DIEGO: The only thing I remember about him was that he was like, an out-vampire? Like he didn't hide that he was drinking plasma.
TATI: Yeah! He was so punk rock for that. My favorite song was 'Love Like Winter'. Have you heard it?
DIEGO: No.
TATI: I have to show you it. One sec.
[gif of caleb and his band mates performing Love Like Winter (a real song)]
it's in the blood, it's in the blood
i met my love before i was born
he wanted my love, i taste of blood
he bit my lip, and drank my war
DIEGO (laughing): That hair sure was a moment.
TATI: I'm sure you've had a few questionable hair choices.
DIEGO: What? This beautiful shag? Never!
TATI: OK you have to see his hair at the end of his career (furiously googling)
DIEGO: OK, I know about their manager Miss Hell and the messy break up--who is 'Vladius Strod' and why is he mentioned!?
TATI: Huh. I think this is new. Vladislaus Straud IV...
cw: implication of murder/violence
vlad's wiki bio
Count Vladislaus "Vlad" Straud IV (birthdate unknown), renowned musician and entrepreneur is the descendant of Count Vladislaus Straud I. His ancestor immigrated with a settling party and founded what became Forgotten Hollow. It remains a mystery what happened of the settlers, though there are many contested theories. Vlad is known for his charitable donations toward the Forgotten Hollow
Symphony and his inheritance of his father's company Vladislaus Hardware.
Vlad was a notable organist on SNL in the 1980s. However, after an incident on Sims Night Live, he walked off set and never returned. It is unknown what triggered the incident nor is it known what happened to Miss Hell, that night's host, whom mysteriously disappeared for two weeks afterward.
His most recent public appearance was in a rare interview with The Copperdale Times in 2010. It was much discussed in online forums and Social Bunny, but he has not made an appearance since then. When asked about the SNL incident, or his relationship with former Fruit Batz band member Caleb Vatore, he laughed it off.
Notably, Vatore and Straud had a duel (as is vampiric custom) at sunset. Straud won, and now the Vatores hold a grudge against him. There is much speculation that the reason for this duel has to do with their differing beliefs about feeding on Sims.
Vlad is a well-known advocate for vampirism and is an out and about vampire. He believes it is the right of the vampire to feed on Sims as it is the right of the Sim to eat meat. When asked to clarify his position on consent of the Sim, he scoffed.
In the 1990s, Vlad was detained and arrested on suspicion of murder. A young man's body was found in the alley dumpster behind the well-known gay bar Martini. The young man had two bite marks on his thigh. It made international news when Vlad was acquitted of all charges.
DIEGO: There's been FOUR of them? I thought vampires were immortal...
TATI: Hm. Do you think we should send Vlad an e-mail? Maybe an interview with him would be good for research?
DIEGO: Yeah. I'll ask Mr. Flowers about it tomorrow. What better way to learn about a culture than from someone apart of it.
TATI: Oh shoot. It's almost 7. My turn to make dinner. Gotta go! Let me know what Mr. Flowers say!
DIEGO: Yeah! See ya!
DIEGO (softly): Shit.
Tati is out of earshot and on her way to her rusty truck and does not hear this.
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Chapters: 3/6
Fandom: The Locked Tomb Series | Gideon the Ninth Series - Tamsyn Muir
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Relationships: Gideon Nav/Harrowhark Nonagesimus, Camilla Hect/Dulcinea Septimus/Palamedes Sextus, The Angel | Aim/Pash | Our Lady of the Passion (Locked Tomb Series)
Characters: Gideon Nav, Harrowhark Nonagesimus, Palamedes Sextus, Camilla Hect, Dulcinea Septimus, Pash | Our Lady of the Passion (Locked Tomb Series), The Angel | Aim (Locked Tomb Series), Ianthe Tridentarius, Coronabeth Tridentarius, Naberius Tern
Additional Tags: tw for ianthe but she doesn't do much, Griddlehark, halloween fic, yes i know it's late i was preoccupied (nervously shoves TOTK under the couch), banging in a haunted house, just girly things, Murder Mystery, first foray into horror please forgive me, griddlehark sex, pash/aim sex, the sword trio is just being cute~, gideon and harrow having a playful rivalry, which is just their relationship tbh, blood and gore you'd expect from a haunted house attraction, Canon-Typical Violence, Closet Sex, Bathroom Sex, PDA, sexy Halloween costumes, palamedes loves sexy nurse outfits, to wear, geddit, i mean technically a character dies, but idk if it necessarily needs a "major character death" tag lol, this was supposed to be a short fic and look where we are now, Happy Halloween, chapter number might change, but the whole fic is written, more plot than porn holy crap, established relationships - Freeform, harrow fucking loves halloween, prove me wrong, gideon is absolutely pussy-whipped
Summary:
The last sound to emerge from behind the door to the blood-spattered kitchen was the tortured chef’s muffled, miserable groan—but it was the agitated moan underneath Gideon that successfully reclaimed her attention.
She carefully untangled herself from her partner to relieve her of her weight, and with a recuperative huff, Harrow haughtily righted herself, brushing down her costume and tugging the hem back down over her rear. Gideon, chivalrous as always, offered her aid by dusting off the remaining debris and giving her partner’s ass a light squeeze. Harrow jolted at the gesture, tossing her beloved a look of pure scorn, to which Gideon merely responded by offering a smug, impish grin. Harrow tch’d under her breath and brusquely pulled her oversized coat tighter around herself, disregarding her lover’s crassness in favor of fending off the piercing October chill, scrutinizing their unfamiliar surroundings:
It was clearly a garden of some sort, with the skeletal remains of tall hedges lining the perimeter, backed by an equally tall chain-link fence visible through the cracked and crooked fingers of the bare branches. To their left was another door leading back into the house, guarded by two monstrous stone statues with twisted, chimera-esque faces—some disturbing cross between a lion’s countenance and a cobra’s hood. Glancing down, Gideon noticed a path veering to the right, wavering in a loop around an ancient, gnarled tree that clawed toward the night sky with spine-like branches. At the far end of the yard stood a chain-link gate guarded by an overshadowed figure. At first, Gideon assumed it to be another threat bent on harrowing their journey with more unpleasant scares—until she recognized the identifying black and white uniform and the bored expression of a festival employee playing on their phone and leaning lackadaisically against the latch.
Gideon followed closely after her partner, taking in the lovely view as Harrow meandered down the path toward the twisted tree to examine the dark bark and swirling knots in the wood. Keenly aware of their unsuspecting audience, Gideon pulled her gaze from the curve of Harrow’s hip just long enough to spot the employee idly observing their explorations, but when their eyes met, they merely peered down at the distracting light of their phone screen once more. Recognizing the opportunity and brimming with devious intent, Gideon shifted closer to Harrow, extending a mischievous hand to cradle her waist—
But her efforts were curtly thwarted by a loud, sharp shink to their right.
#ch 3#the house of incendiary horrors#tlt#the locked tomb#gtn#gideon the ninth#htn#harrow the ninth#ntn#nona the ninth#fanfic#halloween#halloween fic#gideon nav#harrohark nonagesimus#haunted house#update
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Effie and Zebulon Mucklewain's Hour of Power is the finest radio program out of Toadsuck, Arkansas.
All my Midnight Burger paintings
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*dances around like a goblin around a fire*
it's HERE!!
at last!!
Chapter 3, First Quarter
go read it now!!
*edit bc i fucked up and titled it the wrong phase WHOOPS*
#lunar lynk#ch 3#lynel!link#sidlink#were-lynel#botw link#transformation#monsterfucker#terato#monster tf#my art
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Two creachers...
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why was chapter 3 of acotar bad? some short craft lessons
CH 3
DISCLAIMER: as always, this isn't an exhaustive list.
click here for the full comparison between the original chapter and my revision.
that's not how people talk, sarah, again
"Go spew your fanatic nonsense to some ninny. You'll find no coverts here."
this piece of dialogue is rancid. no matter how you feel about nesta's character, no human being would ever string these words together. the word choice is simply bad.
it also betrays a subtler problem with the scene. every character's reaction is so heightened, so exaggerated, that you can feel sjm's hand in every beat, trying to amp up the stakes.
I've lived in places where missionaries are fairly common: they stir up more annoyance than vitriol. this isn't the first time the archerons have been pestered by the children of the blessed, but the scene is written as if it is, and they're experiencing the emotions of a first encounter. nesta's disgust is at a 10. and feyre's complicity feels similarly strong. it infuses the scene with a level of unbelievability.
more bad dialogue:
"Don't you idiots understand what those monsters did to us for all those centuries? What they still do for sport, when they can get away with it? You deserve the end you'll meet at faerie hands. Fools and whores, all of you."
the sentence structure is too complex to read naturally on the page. it also beautifully segues into the next problem:
not all worldbuilding = good
sjm loves to dump a paragraph (or more) of worldbuilding in the middle of a scene. she doesn't consider what details are actually necessary for a reader to know, which usually makes it long and boring. she also doesn't seem to realize that worldbuilding can often do double duty.
if we look at the above example, it's telling us pretty basic information: that faeries harmed humans for centuries and still do, and that the acolyte is an idiot for believing otherwise.
but we know all that already. we've been told it a dozen times in the first few chapters.
just by giving the same dialogue to feyre (and revising it slightly), we shift what information is revealed:
I said to the acolyte, "Don't you know what they did to us? Even now, they get away with killing us for sport."
in my revision, this similar piece of dialogue doesn't just flesh out the world but feyre's character. we subtly learn that feyre is trying to help the acolyte—that she thinks the acolyte can be saved and she's offering her a rescuing hand.
later in the chapter, feyre has to backfill the reader on the history of faeries and humans and why the mercenaries in this region are well-paid. sjm freezes the conversation for multiple paragraphs of dense backstory. it slows the pacing way down. the worldbuilding meanders, lacking a sharp focus. worst of all, it's boring to read.
I do think much of the info is useful (which is why I didn't cut it), but I did force myself to revise until it could fit in a single paragraph. I asked myself: what does the reader have to know right now? what is the point I'm trying to make? how can I give my reader a throughline to follow instead of forcing them to drink from a fire hose?
(even though it's not worldbuilding, sjm introduces isaac in this chapter with a similar infodump, and I revised it using the same questions.)
does sjm not know how to write a good sentence?
sjm not a technically skilled writer. her prose is dense. she loves to construct sentences with a series of similar clauses, which dilutes the point. her word choice is bonkers.
but what drives me crazy is that she loves to bury the most important bit of the sentence in the middle.
if you haven't heard of the primacy-recency effect, it's the idea that humans pay more attention to the beginning and end of a line. so, opening and closing a sentence with the two most important words strengthens its construction.
take the last line of the original chapter:
But there was a roar that half deafened me, and my sisters screamed as snow burst into the room and an enormous, growling shape appeared in the doorway.
there are a lot of things wrong with this sentence:
1. "there was" sentence construction
it takes us four words to get to "roar," which is the first word specific enough to pique my interest. it gets buried between "there was / that."
an easy fix is to get rid of the "there was" construction: "But there was a roar that half deafened me" becomes "But a roar half deafened me."
see how much cleaner that reads? it might seem nitpicky when harping on one specific sentence, but when you do this over the course of a novel, the whole thing feels more muscular.
2. it's too long
most of sjm's sentences are too long. long sentences can work well, particularly when conveying action, because each clause stacks on top of one another, building momentum.
but this sentence feels unwieldy because it's not one continuous flow of action. the images come at us staccato, disparate. we're inside feyre's body, then looking at her sisters, then looking at the snow, then looking at the door.
a better way to convey this fragmentary tone is with shorter, clipped sentences. my revision:
As I turned, words on my lips, a roar rattled the windows. My sisters screamed as the door smashed open, and whirls of snow burst into the room.
In the doorway stood an enormous, growling shadow.
3. blowing the climax
because it's the last line of the chapter, this sentence carries a lot of semantic weight. so, to end it with "doorway" is an act of violence (to me).
ending with a threatening shadow at the threshold is a cool and arresting image! but "doorway" doesn't stick the landing. it ends with a whimper, rather than a bang.
I want the last line of a chapter to sucker punch me. I want to be surprised. telling us its "an enormous, growling shape" (side note: that she chose to use "shape" rather than a specific noun, even one like "shadow," takes my breath away) before we even get to the doorway means readers will skim the rest of the sentence.
I feel like "primacy-recency effect" will be engraved on my headstone I love it so much it really is one easy cheap trick to make all of your sentences better
#a little craft lesson as a treat#these “short” craft lessons are getting less and less true to their name lol#ch 3#acotar#sjm critical#acotar critical#acotar rewrite#writing advice#writing#anti acotar
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Dark World Fashion Party!~
After that ask I got I had this idea and I thought why not. These two Frisks just admiring eachothers outfits. Being just wholesome beans like they at a costume party. Cutest pair of beans ever! I like to think they would be very good friends. Aaand maybe share trauma stories and how they had to deal with them. Either way they are so cute and I just wanna hug em both they babies aaaa qwq
Check out twine rune all they have amazing art and their frisk is such a baby and needs love.
Twinrune Frisk belongs to @akanemnon
Art I commissioned made by @xjunjox
#undertale#datatale#datatale au#deltarune#frisk#dark world#twin runes#twin runes frisk#art#fan art#fanart#commission#ask dcf#ask blog#darkerland arc#ch 3
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"Jerk"
Avengers AU - Chapter 3
Previous
Characters: Brock, reader, others mentioned
Posted: May 8th
WARNINGS: Canon typical violence, guns, cursing
A/N: all future writings will be linked thru Ao3 with a small teaser of the chapter posted here.
Like, Comments, & Reblogs are always appreciated and loved.
**Please Do Not Repost or 'Fix' My Work**
*
*
You stifled a yawn as you carried the blue pouch under your arm, Carrie had asked you to switch with her for the morning deposit, her kid had an early assembly and she wanted to be there. You had agreed knowing how important those things were, the office had been silent when you had gone in, Mr. Stark the only one there and had offered you a mug which you had forgone since it would be a quick trip to the bank and right back.
You had arrived to be the fourth in line, followed by several men.
Continue Reading
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I’m so sorry Lancelot...you don’t stand a chance to this woman 😂😂
#Playing this triangle is hard#guinevere choices#guinevere#choices#pixelberry#playchoices#choices vip#vip spoilers#ch 3
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Impact. A Hotchniss fanfiction. Proceed with Caution.
Chapter three: Tension.
wordcount: 5k.
read on ao3 or fanfiction.net
Elizabeth had never wanted children.
Perhaps it's a shameful thing for a woman to admit; it certainly was in the 60s, when Elizabeth was a thriving young woman in her 20s with a successful career, on the brink of marrying the perfect man, with no notion of children in the near, or distant, future.
Back then, she was Elizabeth Ford. The only daughter, only child, of Andre and Emmeline Ford. Her father, whose parents had been rich French immigrants, was an ambassador, holding the position of Ambassador to France for over a decade, and he was her inspiration. The time they spent in France was the happiest of Elizabeth's life. She grew up around culture and art and music and incredible food, and, when she came of age, met some of the most influential people of the 20th century.
#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfiction#impact#aaron hotchner#emily prentiss#aaron hotchner fanfiction#emily prentiss fanfiction#hotchniss#hotchniss fanfiction#ch 3
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