#cause i needed something to keep me alive | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sometimesliterate · 2 days

Text

progression | aventurine blurb

loving aventurine was as easy as breathing to you, something incredibly hard for him to grasp. he didn't get it at all. when he first walked into your life, he had this arrogant mask up, another one of his well preserved fabrications to protect himself. he was snarky to you. not necessarily rude, but he wasn't afraid to bare his fangs and show you that he was capable of hurting you if he needed to. he wasn't afraid of hurting anyone. another gamble he was putting his faith in, that he wouldn't be put in a situation where he would have to hurt you.

you loved him during that stage. every sarcastic 'friend' he tacked on to every sentence like it was more of an insult than anything else, every boundary that he crossed of yours, every little lie he spun to keep you at arms length, trying to protect you from his teeth. words hurt less than his bite. and yet, you were there for him even when he was sure he would have pushed you away, and it unnerved him.

" aventurine ~ " you called out from behind him to get his attention, before lightly jogging up to him, standing by his side. not in front of him, but beside him. " i know you might be busy today with business as usual, but i was hoping that you were free this afternoon ? there's this new coffee shop that opened up, and i though- "

" coffee ? sorry to disappoint you, friend, but i am busy this afternoon, " he shook his head, as if dismissing the idea outright entirely.

" oh, that's okay ! i'm still able to say hi right now while we're walking, so that's enough, " you chirped, but he could hear the unmistakable sound of disappointment and sadness in your tone, making the guilt inside of him at being the one who caused your unhappiness eat him alive. but the look on his face didn't change, his walls too big to penetrate.

he did find you at that coffee shop, though. " oh, hello, friend- " he had called out, approaching your table, sitting next to you without even asking. he saw your eyes light up, and for a second he felt the warmth in his chest burst forward, his heart beating against his ribcage. " what good fortune that i was able to finish my tasks a little while ago. i didn't think you would actually come here alone. " there was a hint of confusion in his voice, but it was masked just as quickly as it came.

after this interaction, aventurine got a little awkward with you. what was he expected to say ? what did he do if he wasn't trying to push you away ? he was clumsy with his words, often just silently nodding along as you talked, and sometimes bringing up tiny points. he wasn't good at conversation when it wasn't to serve an agenda. being in survival mode his entire life, he had no idea how to be social, much less to someone as kind as you.

no matter how much he stumbled and fell over his own words, you treated him the same. he approached you cautiously, as if he was afraid that one day you would get sick of him and throw him out of your life permanently. was his personality too much for you to handle ? was he doing something wrong ? he wasn't sure, this was uncharted territory for him. all he could do was throw his dice and hope for the best outcome, something that was so comforting now unnerving. he could bet every single one of his chips, every possession he owned, including his own life, but you ? betting on you felt like one risk he wasn't willing to take.

" hey- i was at this shop a while ago, and i was hoping that you'd want to visit ? with me, of course, " aventurine asked, trying very hard not to look how pretty you looked right now, how your smile made his heart flutter every single time without fail. " i saw something i thought you might like. i wanted to get it for you but i don't know your size. "

" oh ? yeah, i'd love to go with you ! " you agreed immediately, as if everything that you were doing before this was suddenly unimportant. " but you really don't have to pay for me, honestly. i can take care of myself. "

this through him for a loop, and he hid it well, but aventurine had no idea what that meant. did you not want him to pay for you ? or were you just trying to be modest ? it wasn't like he was hungry for money, it was fine on his pockets, and he didn't mind spending if it meant spending on you, of course. besides, what did you want from accompanying him if it wasn't to buy things ? that's what friends were for, right ? it was a mutual beneficial agreement between two people to be friendly with each other to gain something from another, right ?

he was pretty sure that was how it was to be friends, but you challenged all of that. especially when you bought him a drink from a shop. he'd just mentioned it offhanded that he could go for some boba tea, and you had agreed, saying that it would be really good right now. and then you bought him his ? that's not how that was supposed to work, he was sure of it. why would you go out of your way to pay for something for him that you yourself wouldn't even get to enjoy ? he was willing to buy you things to keep you around him, but you didn't need to buy him anything to keep him around.

the possibility that you didn't want anything from him other than his time and himself was confusion, but refreshing.

eventually late night outs became late nights inside, and aventurine found himself in a precarious position, on your couch, your body on the other side, cuddling up against a pillow. the intimacy of the situation felt like it was choking him. and he finally got the courage to ask you the question that plagued him - why ? why did you care ? why did you try so hard ? what was in it for you ? putting your bets on him was a foolish decision that he couldn't rationalize. even he didn't bet on himself.

" because you're worth it, " you shrugged a little, the answer's simplicity wiping everything from him. all of his fears, his confusion, his doubts, just for this moment. right now, he understood. you never pushed him out of his comfort zone, and let your companionship evolve naturally. he didn't even realize he had let you inside of his shell before it was too late. " because you deserve it. "

he thought you were worth it, too. trusting you, putting his faith in you even though you had the ability to hurt him. it was worth it. you were worth it.

#honkai star rail #hsr fanfic #honkai sr #honkai star rail x reader #x reader #hsr x reader #aventurine #honkai star rail aventurine #star rail aventurine #aventurine x reader #hsr aventurine #aventurine honkai star rail #aventurine fluff #hsr aventurine x reader #aventurine x you #honkai star rail imagines #hsr imagines

280 notes · View notes

sasayego · 1 day

Text

the alchemy

prompt — some of my favorite songs as batboys

tags — nothing lol

DICK GRAYSON

the alchemy by taylor swift ( Cause the sign on your heart / Said it's still reserved for me / Honestly, who are we to fight the alchemy? )

yellow by coldplay ( Your skin, oh yeah / your skin and bones / Turn into something beautiful / And you know, you know I love you so )

home by edward sharpe & the magnetic zeroes ( That's true, laugh until we think we'll die / Barefoot on a summer night / Never could be sweeter than with you (hey) )

daylight by taylor swift ( I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you / (I can never look away) / I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you / (Things will never be the same) )

a world alone by lorde ( All the double-edged people into schemes / They make a mess, then go home and get clean / You're my best friend, and we're dancing in a world alone

JASON TODD

homemade dynamite by lorde ( I'll give you my best side, tell you all my best lies / Seeing me rolling, showing someone else love / Hands under your t-shirt /Know I think you're awesome, right? )

guzarish by javed ali ( I'm walking in the nights / hope I don't crash anywhere / The flame of hope is still burning / But still I fear the incoming storm / I hope that the flame doesn't go off )

maroon by taylor swift ( The mark you saw on my collarbone, the rust that grew between telephones / The lips I used to call home, so scarlet, it was maroon )

the blonde by tv girl ( 'Cause anyone who ever had a brain / Wouldn't stand out in the rain / Or keep it up for very long / Just to prove somebody wrong )

dear arkansas daughter by lady lamb ( You with the dark curls / You with the watercolor eyes / You who bear your teeth with every smile )

TIM DRAKE

lovers rock by tv girl ( But if you're too drunk to drive / And the music is right / She might let you stay/ But just for the night ) [ my biggest flex is that i was in paris by the eiffel tower with my family and we were going to go eat dinner on the eiffel tower, and as i walked by the street to get to the park where the tower is at, i saw a girl and a guy listening to lovers rock together on a scooter together and it was so CUTE ]

born to die by lana del rey ( Feet don't fail me now / Take me to the finish line / Oh, my heart it breaks every step that I take / But I'm hoping that the gates, they'll tell me that you're mine )

supercut by lorde ( I'm someone, you may be my love / I'll be your quiet afternoon crush / Be your violent overnight rush / Make you crazy over my touch )

are you bored yet by wallows & clairo ( 'Cause we could stay at home or watch the sunset / But I can't help from askin', "Are you bored yet?" / And if you're feelin' lonely, you should tell me / Before this ends up as another memory)

apocalypse by cigarettes after sex ( You've been hiding them in hollowed out pianos / Left in the dark / Got the music in you, baby / Tell me why / Got the music in you, baby )

DAMIAN WAYNE

sanctuary by joji ( If you've been waiting for fallin' in love / Babe, you don't have to wait on me / 'Cause I've been aiming for heaven above / But an angel ain't what I need )

sober by lorde ( Oh, God, I'm clean out of air in my lungs / It's all gone, played it so nonchalant / It's time we danced with the truth / Move along with the truth )

fire meet gasoline by sia ( I got all I need, when you came after me / Fire meet gasoline, I'm burning alive / And I can barely breathe, when you're here loving me / Fire meet gasoline, burn with me tonight, yeah )

work song by hozier ( When my time comes around / Lay me gently in the cold, dark earth / No grave can hold my body down / I'll crawl home to her )

put me through it by suki waterhouse ( And I'm tired of keeping all my feelings to myself / Was undercover, playing cards that I've been dealt / You spun me 'round in circles 'til I tripped and fell / I admit I got addicted, now I'm sick as hell )

#dick grayson #dcu #dc comics #jason todd #damian wayne #tim drake #batboys #dc universe

22 notes · View notes

sun-stricken · 2 days

Note

Hello. I absolutely love your Fairy Tail head-canons, especially about demon slayer Gray. Feel free to take or leave these little ideas. Always love when you post <3

Imagine Team Natsu has to rent a vehicle or something and they require actual legal paperwork like a birth certificate and address or something like that (more than just “guild business! Gonna need this!”). Lucy doesn’t want to rent it because there is no way she’s going to be responsible for the inevitable damage. Erza, being the leader and a good friend volunteers. A few minutes later she comes back out, puzzled.

Erza: “why would they need a birth certificate? Shouldn’t me being present be proof enough of my existence?”

Gray starts snickering in the background. Natsu goes in next but comes out even earlier than Erza, cause at least Erza had a probably legal address at Fairy Hills, Natsu on the other hand lives in a house in the woods.

By the time Wendy goes in the receptionist is exasperated. “Yes I understand you are with Fairy Tail but that isn’t until page three of the paper work. None of you have made it past the first page.”

Gray finds this all very amusing.

Lucy: “Since you find it so amusing why don’t you go register, Gray!?”

Gray: mutters something

Natsu: “What do you mean you’re legally dead?!”

Cause you know, Ur just found a kid (the only survivor) and just decided to keep him. Oh, no official rescue crews didn’t show up until two days later? My kid now :)

The search and rescue teams never found any survivors in Gray’s old town so everyone was pronounced dead. The magic council or whoever is in charge of that stuff is also disorganized enough that no one realized that Gray Fullbuster is both a famous wizard and supposedly dead. So, just, Gray technically being considered legally dead the entire time he was at Fairy Tail.

Also, the slayers all going out on a job together(the dragon slayers had to drag Gray). The job turns out to be a trap (surprise!) and the floor just opens up revealing a giant vehicle.

Dark mage: “Ha-ha! I have bested the dragon slayer! The most powerful mages-“spots Gray just chilling, perfectly fine and not motion sick. “what are you doing?” Cause the guy was planning to capture dragon slayer, not whatever a demon slayer was (the dark mage didn’t even know demon slayers were a thing). Gray defeats the dark mage but holds it over Natsu’s head for a week.

After that anytime a large group of dragon slayers takes a job together they take Gray along for “extra security during transportation” or just extra security in general.

I also head-canon that each type of slayer magic has its own unique weakness. Dragon slayers get severely motion sick. God slayers are claustrophobic. Demon slayers cannot handle sweets. If Gray gets even a whiff of cake or any other dessert his gag reflex acts up and he gets really nauseous and other stuff like that. He of course hid it at first (he was afraid Erza would disown him) but eventually everyone learned about the weakness of demon slayers. Natsu teases him about it but never pushes it too far to the point of accidentally making Gray really sick.

Anyways, sorry for the long ask. Feel free to expand on anything. Always love some good slayer bonding head-canons and just Fairy Tail head-canons in general. <3

This was so much fun to make tbh so domt apologize, i love long asks <3 and thank for for what you said ant my posts! theyre fun to make so im glad ppl enjoy them

Oh, you have no idea how often ive though about Gray being legally dead, my personal favorite scenario is him trying to fix it and prove himself alive but cant

“How the fuck would i know my social security number??? i was eight years old! i had no reason to know!!!”

There was no dna or finger-print records of him or his family so he couldn’t prove it that way either. Apparently, declaring someone born or dead is easier than someone ‘resurrected’. To the law Gray of Isvan is dead and although Gray of Fiore bares similarities, they are two different people.

But ALSO to the law Gray of Fiore doesnt exist bc he has no birth certificate. And while hes adamant, he has no real proof beyond his word he is Gray Fullbuster of Isvan.

So basically, According to the law, Both Gray Fullbuster of Isvan and Fiore are dead and never existed, respectively.

tbh this sounds like an identity crisis waiting to happen, but what else is new with him

Erza probably tried to fix it after she was told bc she legally didnt exist for a minute either (never was filed as a real person, she was able to file for a late birth certificate on account that she wasnt claiming to be a ‘separate’ person and also Makarov did it for her) (dont ask why he didnt for Gray, i like plot holes). But quickly realized their situations were very different, him waiting over a decade to check in as a survivor with the proper authorities definitely weakened his case considering he was running around free before he decided he needed a birth certificate.

But hey, as long as he doesn’t need to rent something, or get a license or id, or work somewhere beyond Fairy Tail, or get married, or, god forbid, die again, he should be fine!

i wonder if he would be considered a ‘john doe’ if he actually died again since they have ‘no’ birth records

This also makes games like ‘two truths and a lie’ amazing

“alright so, im legally dead, i legally dont exist, and ive never physically died before” “Gray what the hell do you mean” “Guess the right one and ill tell you” “WHAT THE HELL DOES THIS MEAN THOUGH??”

i love everything to do with the ‘dragon slayers + gray’ dynamic

‘Extra security’ just turns into Gray babysitting a bunch of rambunctious dragons for hours. seriously, get this guy a reward for how he hasnt killed or maimed any of them yet.

Imagine them trying to convince Gray to walk to their destination instead of taking the train

“Its not that far!!” “its fucking 5 hours by train, How long do you think itll take to walk? Why would even you pick this job if you knew how long the ride would be??” … “nobody looked..” “are you actually serious.” … “oh my fucking god”

and thats the story of how one Demon slayer ended up having to babysit 4 very pitiful looking Fairy Tail Dragon slayers on a train. Dude had to drag them off it once it stopped too.

His side career of ‘Dragon Slayer Babysitter’ only gets harder when they realize holy shit! cold compresses can help nausea! and what do they have? a walking cold compress.

Taking a train trip with them just means second hand nausea AND embarrassment, and absolutely no personal space. A dream come true.

At least he gets to hold it over their heads

Tbh i like the irony of Dragon Slayers being motion sick because, yk, dragons can fly, so my hc for side effects for God Slayers and Demon Slayers were along the same lines

God Slayers being wide open space or flying since Gods are like the epitome of freedom? all knowing and have complete reign over everything, But claustrophobia works so much better for that same reason. It would cause extreme panic and rash decisions

And Demon Slayers was the dark because demons are supposed to be these evil creatures who thrive in the dark n stuff? basically it would send a Demon Slayer into a paranoid spiral.

But sweets being a weakness instead is such a silly thing that im gonna take it and run

Gray never cared for sweets in the first place, gave him a stomachache, but now he has to walk away from Erza mid conversation if she decides to indulge, which is almost everyday. She was absolutely heartbroken and devastated when the weakness was revealed, it was such a dramatic reaction one wouod think she was the one with the new weakness

When Gray pokes fun at Natsus motion sickness he’ll go on about how Gray is gonna have the lamest parties since he cant handle even the smell of sweets, especially cake.

A terrible realization for everyone involved with him, on par with when Gray realized he wouldnt be able to have ice cream comfortably again, thats like a staple for ice mages

heart wrenching, truly

21 notes · View notes

skullfacedlady · 11 months

Text

I made this for myself cause I need to somehow survive this exam season

#stop procrastinating #miguel o'hara #college is kicking my ass #i speedran this #cause i needed something to keep me alive #im on thin ice

220 notes · View notes

justanotherfanartist · 4 months

Text

I think we as a fandom are collectively sleeping on Carolina being raised with Jewish holidays. dude can you imagine her being reintroduced to them once she’s with the reds and blues maybe cus they picked them up as a found-family sort of tradition because of church and they continue them when he’s gone. her getting to relive the sweet nostalgic parts of her childhood with her new family. can you imagine her coming in and seeing all the decorations and food she hasn’t seen in years (this is ofc assuming they didn’t really do holidays on the MOI) screaming and crying do you see it do you see my vision

#she needs something happy her childhood has caused her a lot of pain already #im having some banger matzah ball soup rn and it got me thinking cus this stuff is the definition of warm and comforting simple food #can you imagine Carolina having that again for the first time in years and remembering maybe when Church or Allison used to make it for her #and now it’s the reds and blues doing the same for her and keeping a part of her culture and family alive andjshlfbsldm #im not Jewish myself so I had to do a bit of research for this so if I got something wrong about how holidays and observers work #im very sorry feel free to correct me or add on #rvb #agent carolina

40 notes · View notes

felizusnavidad · 2 months

Text

i'm going home tomorrow & i'm so excited to see my family, i really missed them

#also my mom told me some time ago that i'm really brave & i shouldn't give up #but i don't feel brave i feel tired #so basically i had three different jobs this year #first one i quit because i hated it & it was too chaotic #i got fired from the second one after over a month because apparently i was too nice #now the third one i know is just temporary because it's similar to the one i quit last year #and it's only because i need money so i can't stay jobless #my situation is kinda fucked up because i live here alone so i have to pay rent #and i really don't want to go back to my parents #i know i can but i wanna stay here #i've been working so hard to move to my favourite city and i want to start studies here this year i just can't give up #so i just took the job i didn't want #and i keep looking for something i might actually like #but god i'm tired #i feel like the biggest fucking failure #i just need a normal fucking job jesus why is it so hard #i don't want to work with customers anymore i hate people #and i also want to earn a little more money because trust me it's not that easy to live fucking alone #i mostly spend my money on food cause unfortunately i have to eat #but i'm not interested in just surviving i really want to start feeling alive again #ugh #talking shit for the hell of it*

14 notes · View notes

inavagrant-a · 1 year

Text

Raising teenagers and trying to prepare them for adulthood is so stressful.

#out.#vent cw #i love them with all my heart #but sometimes i be saying something for their own good #and i'm suddenly the joker to their batman #awraxa ug h #i count my blessings that money is never an issue in my household cause i earn my keep #shoutout to my trauma of being raised in poverty for most of my childhood #they will be starting adulthood with a privilege others don't have and they need to know that #though i have money saved for them specifically money does not grow on trees #and this world will eat them alive if they don't put their character and effort first before anything else #anywa y i just needed to ven t a lil bit #seeing them growing up makes me really squishy and scared by the da y #but i have to have faith in them too that they'll be okay once they tell me they wanna leave the nes t

9 notes · View notes

convoloutedinjoke · 1 year

Text

Currently writing swap AU where Kim is just himself on hard mode. Like he wakes up in a clean, normal room, puts on the same outfit as always and doesn't tell anyone he's forgotten everything until Harry wheedles it out of him by badgering him for One Singe Secret (he cant remember any).

He then goes outside and points a gun at a civilian over a perceived threat.

#also he has a preexisting speed problem but because of the way he has a speed problem #(keeps a set number of pills in a little days of the week pill caddy with his ptsd medication)#he assumes they're like antidepressants or something #and just. keeps taking them? and it doesn't come up till after the tribunal?#also all the political alignments are variations on him going “no... that's too extreme... give me something reasonable”#and then going to a Fantasy Labour Party debate on how to reach across the isle to revacholean nationalists #or meeting with a group of small business owners to share finance tips and deductible loopholes. all of it feels hollow.#He also doesn't put on glasses for the first six to eight in-game hours #until Garte (who is cool with him because he pays his bills on time and hasn't caused a fuss) finally cracks and asks where they went #anyway its not going anywhere but im having fun #(pushes his career slider backwards)(raises the unfair treatment bar)#(tweaks the dials on his workaholic and repression meters to “worse”)(drives “need for control” display into the red)#(flips harry switch from “most fucked up man alive” to “somewhat better but still not doing well by any stretch of the imagination”)#ive done it ive made a version of this that I would enjoy #one of his thought projects is trying to write a facts and logic debunking of the insulindian phasmid #the solution is “it isn't real because its silly. im going to stop thinking about this now because I am solving a murder.”#+physique: no longer expending energy on debating dream logic #-morale: couldn't come up with a comprehensive refutation for giant stick bugs #harry hasn't gone full Tequila Sunset drives-my-car-into-the-sea but he has gotten pissed and told everyone to fuck off for three days

10 notes · View notes

swinging-stars-from-satellites · 1 year

Text

🪶

#not to be weird on main but jaysteph hallmarkesque fic where it's like. steph has been away at college #and comes back to gotham on holiday break absolutely jonesing to get back into ''the family business'' aka vigilantism #she and jason were childhood acquaintances (schoolbus theory!!!) and worked together a bit before she went to school #steph has an argument with tim about something stupid (no they're not dating at this point they're just besties and both a bit petty)#so they're at odds and the whole family is a bit tense bc there's a Big Case going on and B is away on JL business #(B has promised he'll be back in time for Christmas. he is SCRAMBLING to keep this promise.)#anyway: cue steph deciding to make things a little easier on dick by handling arrangements for The Christmas Eve Gala TM #and recruiting jason (who is honestly just along for the ride/lowkey keeps mom-friending literally everyone in the absense of bruce)#they end up doing Shenanigans while trying to pull this event off and not cause any more trouble for alfred #while also working that Big Case during the nighttime and dealing with regular Family Tensions.#steph is also conflicted about transfering back to gotham u or staying with her current program that isn't really doing it for her #(jason is also considering enrolling in college now that he's legally alive again and is struggling a little with Being Alive)#at some point they end up reminiscing about their shenanigans as kids who rode the same schoolbus #and there's this really emotional moment like ''sometimes i wonder why I'm even allowed to be alive. why did we get to come back''#and all that. steph has a mild existential crisis brought on by emotions running high and sleep deprivation #thats basically her asking how she's able to go to college. she should have brain damage after being technically dead for minutes like that #and jason is like ''i DID have brain damage'' and they just look at each other and it's like this *zing* moment #like hotel transylvania skkdfnskfnsk #anyway yeah college girl steph home for the holidays falling for the guy she used to sit with on the bus??? i am Thinking #also samsung needs to give me a starling emoji smh

16 notes · View notes

a4g · 1 year

Note

it's very nice to read your spoke rambles please continue

i love you

#sorey i got this right as i passed out yesterday after tiring myself from rambling #i love you #i just like to talk a lot #and spoke keeps my interest so i talk about him a lot #its like an easy thing for me to ramble about #i find it so funny spoke started his youtube career cause he and his friend was like #hmmm how do we get a lot of money consistently on skyblcok #answer to that question that wasnt duping or hacking or something of that sort #was becoming a skyblock youtuber #those videos never took off and was like umm 2019-2020 or something of the sort #guess what finally paid off for him LOL . gets easy 100 mil a stream #so he got his wish #and at least when people give him stuff he has manners about it. idc if he actually means the thank yous hes at least polite #most mischievous guy alive is polite and has manners #<- thats a news headline. they put it in the news #okay i really need to finish christmas stuff now bye :(#asks #lifesteal

4 notes · View notes

teddybeirin · 1 year

Text

I cannot sleep at all ;w;

#it has not fully settled in but i think it will just take a long long time #i keep expecting something bad even though i am so comfortable here #it isnt even a present time feeling i dont think #i am afraid even though there is now distance.. the little one does not feel the distance maybe #does not realize. it has not fully sank in because not every part is aware of #the present. and then on top of that this is just so much #after everything i am okay only because other people made it so. and somehow it feels as if it could reach back #and touch the past. i am okay because other people made it so. a loop has finally been closed #that i didnt even realize was left open. i cant say i dont understand why i was so avoidant of asking #for help or needing help because 'if i need what i cant have im doomed either way why bother it hurts' was understandable #coming from that kind of nightmareish perfect storm. it feels like a nightmare now #that i have just woken up from. it doesnt feel real even though i am trying to hold onto at least #that i still need to go to therapy even if 'well *I* am not [part] so that never happened to me go away' is taking hold again #with more denial being even easier because now nothing bad is happening currently to me #what a trip. there was always fear and now its absence causes it somehow #there was always fear. and i was so obsessed with death because it was a comfort to at least get to know what i felt so close to me always #and now its breath is off my neck and only because people have been kind. it was not for any of my struggling on my own #all of that aside from what kept me alive was really fruitless. i have always needed others. it feels really strange #to say that now looking back at how i managed despite having no-one but it was not like the need was not there #it was even worse for being so totally unfulfilled. this is all so strange #some part of me feels afraid that the only way something this good could happen is if we are about to die #but i think that is a little silly. and it is so lovely to be able to say to the younger selves that it has gotten better #and they can be here with me where it is better. and nobody will hurt us anymore and it is safe and they are loved and every single wish #has been granted. it sounds so corny to say it that way but it really feels like it is so miraculous as to be impossible - if not for #experiencing it id have never believed this possible. that we can be safe at least from those harms #that time was all nothing.. it was nothing. 22 years full of barely anything worth living up til a few months that changed every single #thing. every single thing. how did i even live? it feels like breathing air for the first time #i have gone my whole life without feeling this and now i think i dont know how i ever made it through #but oh my god i am so glad i did #i am so glad i did.

3 notes · View notes

candyriku · 9 days

Text

finally getting a chance to work on chapter 15 today :-)

#shout out AS ALWAYS to people leaving comments!!!! you are keeping me motivated you are keeping the dream alive #for some behind the scenes: in the last few weeks i've been barely sleeping and it makes it very hard to write or even be in a good mood #i usually need 11+ hours to function and so like. 2-3 hours a night is putting me in a bad place both mentally and physically #and yes i realize 11 or more hours is like a silly amount of sleep but idk. it's just how i am. i go to bed early AND sleep in ahaha.#i've been falling behind in all my classes due to the sleep thing so writing for fun has totally been off the table lol #ANYWAYS #typing typing typing (this chapter will be a lighthearted one)#we all need some fluff and levity i think (and i need to give time for Riku to care for Sora even more and be like. wow. i love you)#I was struggling earlier bc i wanted to write both about how Sora has been hiding darkness from loved ones and needs to let them in #but also with the idea of sora feeling that he needs friends to have strength or value. and i kind of realized i needed to pick one #like maybe a better writer than me could have both of those things be addressed at once but for me i was like... I want Riku to comfort him #which goes against him learning that he's fine on his own. we can address that in a different fic. rn he is just sad and needs to know #that he can share that with the people around him. and that he's still loveable despite it all #also shout out to my gf for teaching me “love isn't something you deserve that's not what love is” like. i did not know that b4 her #so I asked her lots of questions for chapter 14 actually cause I was like. i want Riku to support Sora in the way you'd support me #cuz IDK SHIT ABOUT THAT i have always felt unworthy of love and like i had to beg people to stay with me until i got into this relationship #so i was like. judy. what is your wisdom. how do you care for me when i feel like my pain makes me unloveable. what would you say #So yeah shout out to her! I am off on a tangent now hehe sorry. thanks for reading if you read this at all!! have a good day :)#jtsys fic #updates

1 note · View note

fromevertonow · 6 months

Text

Suzanne Collins is one of the few contemporary writers who realizes the importance of names in her stories and the significance they bear. They add so many layers to the story, additional meanings that otherwise would not have existed.

The original trilogy:

Katniss: named after a plant of which you can eat the roots. Her father taught her where to find it and told her that “as long as you can find yourself, you’ll survive” (quote may be a little bit off, but it’s from one of the early chapters in THG). Additionally, the leaves are in the shape of an arrowhead, referencing her skills with the bow which her father also taught her how to use.

Peeta: literally bread lmao. But bread is one of the basic nutritions humans need, a little bit goes a long way to keep you alive. Peeta’s presence in Katniss’s life also kept her alive, literally and figuratively—the burned bread he threw her in the flashback and their complicated relationship.

Primrose: a plant with medicinal purposes, even more significant in light of her work as a medic in Mockingjay.

Gale: literally means “strong wind” and considering that in every encounter with Katniss he’s caused some reaction, he pulls her into directions she maybe initially doesn’t want to go in. Additionally, his name also represents his determination and steadfastness in his beliefs.

TBOSAS

Lucy Gray: named after William Wordsworth’s poem “Lucy Gray” which is about the titular character of the poem who got lost during a blizzard. She literally got lost in snow. Rachel Zegler sang this poem in two parts on the original soundtrack of the movie. When Snow asked who the girl in the song is, Lucy answers that she’s a mystery, just like her.

Snow: aside from the obvious snow references, I think his name is most significant in relation to Lucy and the poem. The only one who knows what caused her disappearance is Snow. He is the reason that Lucy is gone. But her traces in the snow are still visible. He will always remember her because the memory of Lucy has manifested itself in every part of his life.

Coriolanus: named after the Roman general (and also the titular character of Shakespeare’s play), Coriolanus wanted to attack Rome and become its ruler. He was scorned and celebrated by the people, only to be later exiled from the city by them. In TBOSAS, Coriolanus is the star pupil at the Capitol’s academy but sent into exile to the districts after he won the Games with Lucy through cheating.

Volumnia: Coriolanus mother who played a part in his ascent to power. In TBOSAS, she almost serves like a mentor to Coriolanus, teaching him how to think in terms of power.

(Edit) Sejanus: a roman soldier who was betrayed by the roman emperor Tiberius, just like the future president betrayed him.

(Edit) Plinth: got this info from here, but it was too good not to include here. A plinth is a base for a statue or vase to stand on. After Sejanus’s death, all of the Plinth fortune was given to Snow for being such a good to friend him. It was this money that skyrocketed the Snow family from poverty to filthy rich. The Plinth money was the foundation upon which Snow built his power.

There are so many other names that have historical (mostly Roman and Greek) connotations—Plutarch, Seneca, Cinna—but also regular names like Trinket and Beetee bear meanings that represent the character beautifully.

Names are important. For any lover of literature or (aspiring) writers, please look closely at them. They can shape your story into something unique.

Feel free to correct me if I’ve said something wrong. I know there are many names missing, but I can only add so many examples ✊🏻😔

#tbosas #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #the hunger games #thg #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #gale hawthorne #lucy gray baird #coriolanus snow #suzanne collins #literature

12K notes · View notes

starstruckmiraclekitty · 6 months

Text

“I think we should break up.” Simons words were like a ton of bricks, nearly taking the wind out of you. He stated it so plainly, without any hesitation that it had your entire world spinning.

“Wait, what?” You asked, struggling to blink away the hot tears that were threatening to fall. “Simon, you don’t mean that.”

“I do.” His eyes landed anywhere but you, a trick you knew he had in order to keep his composure. There was something more he wasn’t telling you.

“But why? What’s changed?” Your voice was quivering now, praying the man you loved so dearly would just look at you. “Simon, what’s going on?”

Simon said nothing, his eyes glued to the floor as he tried to steady his breathing. He couldn’t look at you. He knew if he did, he’d go back on his word.

“Simon Riley, you answer me right now.” Tears were flowing freely down your cheeks now as you were no longer able to keep your composure. “Simon!”

“I don’t deserve you alright?” Simon finally looked up at you, the harshness in his tone causing you to flinch. “For fuck sakes, I don’t. You are everything I’m not. You’re gentle, you’re kind. You care about everyone so selflessly, and you deserve someone who can be on that level with you.”

“Si.”

“No.” Simon cut you off before you could speak, his eyes flickering back to the floor. “I’m a broken shell of a man, Y/N. You deserve someone who can take you on dates. Someone who can bring you home to their family. Someone who you’re not waiting months on end for, wondering if they are even alive. You deserve anyone but me.”

You choked back a sob, the words of your lover causing your heart to shatter. Is this truly how he felt? Had you failed as a partner to make him feel that he is worthy of love?

“I got my family killed. My best friend died because I wasn’t there fast enough. Everywhere I go, death follows me.” Simon continued. “I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you.

“Look at me.” You spoke, your voice stern as you blinked away some of the tears. “Simon, look at me.”

Simon’s gaze lifted, and the sight of him caused your tears to flow down your cheeks once more. He was crying. His cheeks were blotched red, something you’d never once seen on him in the years you’d been together.

You took a step forward, slowly moving your hand to cup his cheek, breathing a sigh of relief when he didn’t pull away. “I don’t want, nor need anyone that’s not you.”

Simon blinked, clearing his throat to speak, but you cut him off. “You are the man that I want. You think you’re a broken shell of a man, but every single person on this planet is broken, in their own way. I want every part of you.

I want the late night phone calls when you’re on the other side of the world. I want the reunions when you come home, the feeling that I’ve finally got you back. I want the corny at home movie dates. I want the burnt dinners, the late night fast food runs. I want the man who so deeply cares about everyone but tries so hard to deny it. I want the man that would put his life on the line for anyone who he considers a friend. I want the dry humor, I want the witty remarks. Simon, I want you. Always.”

Simon’s tears now flowed freely down his cheeks, his lips quivering as he struggled with what to say. His arms wrapped around your torso, holding you tightly to him as a sob wracked his body. “I fucking love you, Y/N. I don’t deserve you but gods I’ll fucking try to.”

Little did he know, he never had to. You’ve loved him from the moment you met him.

#simon riley imagine #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #cod imagine #mw2 imagine #ghost x reader #ghost mw2

6K notes · View notes

vienssunshine · 7 months

Text

It's Too Much

pairing: Choso Kamo x fem!reader nsfw: dom!reader, inexperienced!Choso, premature ejaculation word count: 1.5k author's note: this idea took third place in the poll, but I was extra inspired to write this because of a tik tok my friend sent me. description: Choso has been touch-starved for so long, so when you touch him, it can be a lot, maybe even too much for him to handle

Choso has never felt another's body against his own that wasn’t attempting to hurt him. For all 150 years he’s been alive up until he met you, physical contact meant pain. But now, he’s beginning to learn that that isn't completely true.

There are similarities between a touch of pain versus…pleasantness might be the word—he hasn’t sorted it out completely yet—as a feeling lingers after contact. A strike leaves an aching bruise, the afflicted area reminding him of the injury whenever the slightest pressure is applied, but when you place a gentle hand on Choso’s shoulder while speaking to him, it leaves behind something entirely different.

The best way he can describe the initial feeling is as a warmth, and not just due to the intrinsic heat from where your flesh meets his, but one that swells in his chest and spreads out to the rest of his body. After you leave, your touch doesn’t require a mark on his skin or a painful sting like a bruise needs to be remembered, rather, the outline of where your fingers laid on his shoulder simmers on his skin for the rest of the day.

You fluster him with your casual touches–placing your hand on his forearm or leaning your head on his shoulder–but it helps him work up the courage to start acting on his own desires to feel you. He appreciates how you let him take his time as he explores the little things, like the feeling of holding your hand, intertwining his roughened fingers with yours. He looks up to your face, making sure what he's doing is okay, and you give him a gentle smile, telling him he's doing great. There is that warmth in his chest again. He realizes he likes the feeling of you praising him—a lot.

Soon, he starts asking for more: to cup your cheeks, pet your hair. One day, he asks to hold your body against his on the bed, feeling your softness and warmth while working hard to regulate the influx of emotions your proximity inspires. Yet, it gets the better of him and he asks something that’s been on his mind for a while: if he can kiss you.

You accept, of course, and with your lips so soft and sweet, things quickly develop, escalating to the point where you are on top of him, straddling his big legs, and kissing down his bare chest to his waistband. He tries to keep still, but your lips feel so good and his hips betray that, gently thrusting up and into you.

“S-sorry,” Choso says, “I…I can’t control it.”

You look up from his chest. “It’s okay, Choso,” you say as you drag your hands down his abs to his waistband, deepening the pink dusted upon his cheeks, “It seems like you want more.”

“Mhmm,” Choso whimpers, watching as you tuck your fingertips into his waistband and pull it down, freeing his sensitive erection.

Your hands wrap around his length and his eyes flutter closed in bliss. Being touched there is a new sensation for Choso and it’s stirring up a feeling he hasn’t had much experience with.

He thinks it’s arousal, which is, according to Mahito, what causes humans to “fuck.” But Mahito always spoke about fucking in a negative light, describing it as disgusting, primal thing humans do. That perspective doesn't make sense to Choso anymore because whatever you are igniting in him, if it is that aroused feeling Mahito described, feels so good he thinks he would die if you stopped.

“Do you like this, Choso?” you ask as you stroke him. Hearing his name fall so sweetly from your lips sends a shiver through Choso’s body.

“I-I do,” he says, moaning when you pay special attention to his pink tip, stimulating the sensitive area with your fingers in a tight circle. He’s been unconsciously bucking his hips up into your fist, chasing more of this unfamiliar sensation that has pressure to build up in his stomach.

“Then, would you like it if I put it inside of me?”

He hadn’t considered that as a possibility, already so pleasure-drunk from feeling your palm against him, but there’s no way he can refuse your offer.

“Yes. Yes—fuck—please do that.”

“Alright, Choso,” you say, getting off of him, “You just sit still, okay?”

His breathy whine tells you that the last thing he wants to do is sit still. You smile, he looks so cute when he’s desperate.

“Just a little bit longer,” you say, intentionally moving slower than necessary just to see how long the poor curse can hold out.

He watches as you pull down your underwear, and the second you remove it, he grabs you by the wrist and pulls you back on top of him. Then he’s pressing hot, sloppy kisses to your neck, devouring it like a man starved. His passion and intensity make up for his lack of experience, though you note he’s getting the hang of it.

Choso’s barrage of affection is halted by a surprised gasp when you grip his erection and align yourself with it. The hunger in your eyes reminds him of how out of his element he is, but he doesn’t let it scare him, rather, he lets it feed his desire of making you feel as good as he does.

You hold the tip to your entrance and Choso’s breath hitches when he feels the wetness and warmth of your hole. Slowly, as to not overwhelm, you sink down on him, and he moans—sweet and unbridled—from the way your walls hug him.

“I’ve—hah—never…felt something like this,” he says, eyes pressed closed, wrinkling the thin black mark running just underneath them.

Your hands fall onto his built chest as you make it all the way down on him, driving the entirety of his long, slender dick deep within you. His hands fly to your hips when it happens, but then one grabs for your wrist on his chest, circling his fingers around it, needing you to help him through this new sensation.

“Feels good?” you ask, your voice breathy.

“Feels s’good,” he says, “Too good.” He shifts around underneath you; the pressure he was feeling earlier when you were touching him is becoming inescapable, sweeping through his stomach like a vicious undercurrent.

“I’m going to start moving now, 'kay?” you say.

Choso nods but is woefully unprepared for when you begin to lift your hips up and down, pushing his length through your gummy walls. Your movements on top of the information already flooding his senses–your warm skin, rapid heartbeat, fluttering eyes—it's so overwhelming. His head falls back, and even though you’re going at such a slow pace, it feels like your walls are milking him, intent on making the tightness in his core snap.

Choso knows it’s too much for him, but watching your eyes close in pleasure and your fingers dig into the skin on his chest, it makes him want to keep going, to not cum just yet. But with the sight of you naked on top of him and the way your insides are squeezing him, not cumming is a near impossible task. He wants to do a good job for you, to hear you tell him that, but he's sure he won’t last.

“Fuck, I’m s-ah-sorry,” Choso whines, “I can’t…if you keep moving, I can’t-“

“You’re gonna cum already, Choso?” you ask, a wickedness in your voice, “You feel that good?”

You’re teasing him, despite how you find your view beyond erotic: he’s a squirming mess underneath you, with his eyebrows pressed together, face flushed with warmth, and fingers tight around your wrist as he just fights the urge to cum.

“Yes—ngh—you feel s’good, s’good-I’m sorry,”—you feel his cock twitch inside you—“I can’t, I’m sorry, m’gonna-“

He groans, thrusting his hips up into you with a force that requires you to grab onto him to stay put, and empties his load deep inside you, sweet moans interspersed with apologies.

You’d be more disappointed in him for not lasting long, but with this being his first time in a while, you’re willing to forgive—especially after being treated to his endless, pretty noises.

When he comes down, you press a kiss on his cheek, “Too much, Choso?” you ask.

“I’m sorry, you just felt so good,” he says in between pants. His poor body is shaking, his chest is heaving, and a pink flush burns all over his pale skin.

“It’s okay,” you say, “I enjoyed that.” Only, you wish you had been able to cum, too. Seeing him writhe underneath you has your cunt aching for attention.

He sits up, and you feel his cock move inside you. “Still, I wanted to last for you.”

“Sweet boy,” you say, pushing a few strands of dark hair out of his face, “You did great. I know it’s been a while since you’ve done anything like this.”

He’s still pouting, but his frown turns into a smile when an idea hits him. He flips you over with ease—sometimes you forget how strong he is—and pulls out of you, keeping your legs open so he can bring his face down to your cunt, wetness mixed with his own cum seeping out of it.

He presses a kiss to your inner thigh. “Let me make it up to you, I haven’t gotten to feel you on my tongue yet.”

#jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen x reader #choso kamo #kamo choso #choso smut #choso kamo smut #choso x reader #choso x you #choso x y/n #choso x female reader #touchstarved choso #choso kamo x reader

4K notes · View notes