#cause I don't use my main blog anymore but I don't want to lose this one
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#tumblr#main blog#secondary blog#tumblr blog#Tumblr poll#poll#reblog#Tumblr needs to address this#tbh if they fixed this problem the site would be better#this is my secondary blog and I hate that#they should at least let a secondary blog have the same functions as a main blog#cause I don't use my main blog anymore but I don't want to lose this one
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Wait you like dusk TwT??
For some reason i thought you hated him or at least disliked it, like yknow those main characters you originally like but later on hates? As like you don't like it so you make it where everyone will hate him
Then again it might be because of how much dusk suffers in comic AND ask blog, not even mentioning how much of a jerk/evil you make him out to be
Him not getting any of the brotherhoods anything, seperating the box (creating said brotherhoods that we know is a problem), an evil mastermind or at least seems to be, Flame hates him and tells us never trust him (mind you we are led to believe Flame is more of 'the good guy' between the both of them), being careless to the other eevees, manipulating(?) daisy, you mentioning one time that dusk will be hated by everymon and gets left behind (except by Vay and Dawn i'm pretty sure) in the future
This isn't dissing you in any way, i was just genuinely surprised to learn that you liked Dusk with how much you set him up to be someone we should hate
Hope you have a great day :D!
OH YEAH YOU SEE
Dusk doing all of that and being evil was actually *drumroll plz*
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...
...
A COMPLETE ACCIDENT! One that I wasn't aware of until someone who read the comic told me! :D I as a kid just made him a Mary Sue who controlled everything and I didn't realize it! He was my favorite character actually. So then when I found out "shoot, all the things he does is actually kind of bad", I did start to dislike him, BUT YOU SEE, HE'S JUST TOO CUTE!!! And I feel sorry for him QwQ. He genuinely just wats everyone safe and only does what he does out of fear of losing control and bad things happening to everyone due to him not having said control again. Ofc, his actions are still unacceptable, but his motives are pure (most of the time). But yeah his actions are still REALLY REALLY BAD and theres no defending him at all. BUT I STILL VERY MUCH LOVE HIM DESPITE THESE ACTIONS. But he deserves everyone hating him.
But like. again, that again is another issue I personally have with SSEC, isn't it?
Dusk deserves to get punished for his actions. He lies, manipulates, and hurts everyone around him. And like, as things are right now. He def will. EVERYONE will leave him, and he'll be in the position he fears the most- being alone. TRULY alone. And no one is going to reach out their hand to help him because- why should any of them? He ruined their lives, lied to them, broke their trust, hurt the ones they love, etc etc.
But like.
I don't really want to write that anymore tbh. It would be really great to see, don't get me wrong, but like. hmm.
A story.
There was a point of time where the active people in the Discord server hated on the main cast and only spoke of the In game eevees. i was hyped about them liking the eevees at first, but as time went on, people showed more and more animosity towards the main characters. It wasn't that these people hated the mains passionately, cause I'd love that. They just didn't care about them, they were apathetic. And these were the core fans that were active in the community daily. Now. I spent years and years crafting these characters and their personalities, so honestly this really hurt me. ^^; I over compensated and said things like "Oh yeah the mains are supposed to be assholes" and did things like focused more on the eevees rather than the mains. I was told things like "The main characters are just not likeable" or "I don't care about the mains, I care about (eevee who has no personality)" by these people who were big fans of my work, and just felt really really bad. Because- The main characters kind of deserve it. I made all of them have BIG flaws, i made all of them do awful things, so why not latch onto one note characters who have done no wrong? Characters who you can shape into anything because they are essentially a blank canvas. Either way, the whole experience made me not like the eevees much, something that I only came out of last year.
With the current trajectory of the series, ALL of the main characters will get exposed for all the shitty things they did and get punished for it. They are the leaders after all, the Politicians, you can say. They are the ones directly in the way of the happiness of the eevees. Their actions or Inactions directly cause mostly all of the issues in the box. They are kind of all the bad guys! Blizz gave the Icedrop leadership to Vay and beats up eevees, Vay is abusive to eevees in his own brotherhood, Bolt cant do anything without Dean and lets Dusk get away with the things he's doing, Flame just does nothing for his brotherhood, Dusk is a tyrant, Daisy is a loyal follower of said tyrant, Eve is a liar, Dawn beats up others and is NEVER THERE. LIKE! I don't blame anyone for not liking them, they are kind of all horrible if you look at it. But I still like them despite these negative traits, and like, I don't really want to write a story where they are the big bad evil guys. I don't want to write a story where the main characters loose all of their friends and hope and can't get any of them back due to their own shitty actions and just remains alone, the thing they fear the most. and I don't want everyone suffering due to the actions of these characters. I want more of well- things like this scrapped script:
Dusk: *Dusk is in the rain, his fur drenched and his spirit broken. As he walks back to the small tree he called home, he idly kicks at a pebble on the ground. Nearing the tree, he looses sight of the pebble, and he looks up, trying to use his arm to lift up the fur in his eyes.* ……? *There, he sees Blizz under his tree, holding an umbrella alone, He seemed to have been waiting for him a long time, as the glaceon was fidgeting with a leaf and there were a small pile of them on the ground next to him.*
Blizz: *looks up excitedly, leaf forgotten, and waves at him* Hi Dusk!!!
Dusk: *frowns, skeptical and hesitant* ….. why are you here?
Blizz: *frowns at him, confused* Why wouldn’t I be here? I wanna hang out with you.
Dusk: *Dusk stares at Blizz, in disbelief. Blizz….. What’s to hang out with him? After everything? After all he’s done to him and the others?* W-wha-?
Blizz: *stares at Dusk, mimicking his confused expression*
Dusk: What about- Everything I did? To you, to everymone! Don’t you hate me like everymon else???
Blizz: *Stares at him confused* …Why would I hate my best friend?
*A silence falls between the two as they stared at each other, Dusk flabbergasted. But then, tears started rolling down his cheeks*
Dusk: *breaks down, yelling* Why WOULDN’T YOU!??? I’VE MADE YOUR LIFE MISERABLE, I TOOK YOUR FRIENDS AWAY, I MADE EVERYONE LOOK DOWN ON YOU! WHY ARE YOU EVEN TALKING TO ME RIGHT NOW????
Blizz: …
Dusk: YOU SHOULD HATE ME! YOU DO HATE ME! YOU SHOULD WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH ME! WHY ARE YOU HERE? JUST TO MOCK ME? JUST TO GLOAT THAT YOU WON? AFTER ALL I DID TO YOU? WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE???
Blizz: …
Dusk: CAN'T YOU USE YOUR TWO BRAINCELLS FOR ONCE AND SEE THAT I-
Blizz: *He is suddenly holding the umbrella over Dusk, staring at him with intense teal eyes. He blinks* I don't care.
Dusk: ...
Blizz: I’m here because….. *he looks away, a lopsided frown on his face. He sighs* I know how it feels to be alone, and to have everyone seem like it’s against you. *he looks at Dusk* When it happened to me, when I was alone, when my brothers and when my friends left me and I had no one… you were always the one who held out their paw to me, and we would hang out, and you’d make me feel better. So… I wanna help you feel better too. *He smiles* and I want you to know… that you are not alone. Even if you think you are. I won’t abandon you. We're still best friends! ^^
Dusk: ... *after staring at Blizz like he's crazy, Dusk starts laughing, as tears still fell down his face* You are- an idiot, he says inbetween fits of sobs and laughs*
Blizz: But I'm YOUR idiot! :D *Blizz smiles, as Dusk starts sobbing again*
But like- why would Blizz even forgive him? And even if he did, to get to this we have to slosh through a bunch of things, a civil war, a couple betrayals, more characters getting hurt, someone (not Dusk) getting disowned, more mains being frankly awful. And personally, I don't want to write that. That was never what SSEC was meant to be, but what it turned into due to poor planning. But that's what the hundreds of comics and thousands of writings have built up to, so I keep pushing on.
But I'm kind of tired of that.🙃
And if you are wondering why I keep talking about this stuff and not doing anything about it, the only reason why I'm talking about this stuff publicly is because I am in fact, doing something about it.
LET ME COMPLAIN IN PEACE, I EARNED IT.
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While batman is regarded as one of the best mortal heroes. I feel like he causes a lot more problems than solutions. That and he's kinda of a hypocrite. Personally, I would love to see how he reacts to konoha system and the naruto ninja world. I think once kei has her finished fangirl moment. She would not put up with his crap. Like I get this is your city and all but my brother out there in town full of psychopaths so I don't think I'm going to lose anymore sleep because I killed of few people. Or something along those lines.
My general take is that this is a story, and having these issues on the table makes it an interesting. There's only a right answer in each character's perspective.
The most important thing is that Kei and Bruce don't approach the issue of killing people from the same place.
The most relevant issue is that Kei is a soldier. Armies exist because countries have decided that fighting is necessary to further their interests, and soldiers are there to facilitate the process. (Or to defend against other interests, but "defensive" war is a complicated thing.) Kei has walked into this situation with the "no killing" debate as a distant figure in the rear-view mirror. That said, she has the basic understanding of modern society to know that leaving a trail of corpses in her wake is a Bad Thing.
Bruce, who is a comic book superhero, comes to the table with the perspective of Absolutely No Killing because a) he is the kind of guy to take the "kill the problem" option WAY TOO FAR if it's put on the table, and b) he's a vigilante who is not supposed to play judge, jury, and executioner. He already operates outside the law with a secret identity. The social credit he does have would not fly if he was dumping bodies for the police like some kind of overgrown house cat. He has a pretty good idea of what kind of person he doesn't want to be.
(Jason "The Dead Robin" Todd, depending on the writer, either raises useful questions about Batman's whole deal, or is so thoroughly off the rails that he's basically one Bat-symbol away from outright villainy. Here, he's mostly trying not to explode from the stress of wrangling an uncontrollable teenage ninja and also trying to knit together a new criminal organization after having shot his way into command.)
Lastly, Kei has never been the main character in a power fantasy story. She’s in the top 5% of her world’s powerful beings, but more importantly, she’s not the kind of person who likes to lord that over other characters. Kei’s happy place is being at home, hanging out with her loved ones, and being able to chill out. She’s not going to tell Batman to fuck off and break his stuff just because she has the ability to bulldoze things. That’d be jackass behavior of the highest order.
(Also: The Naruto world has no moral high ground on the DC universe. It never has. Kei is extremely aware of this. It’s still “home.”)
AND MORE IMPORTANTLY STILL: Don’t use “psychopath” as a pejorative. I’m not dealing with that ableist bullshit on my blog.
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So I need advice about how to deal with the fallout from a ex-mutual who turned out to be a covert narcissist that is currently using their popularity within a fandom through mutuals we used to share to gatekeep me out of the fandom.
They fabricated a whole narrative to avoid any responsibility for their conscious actions to hurt me, and got most of their mutuals that they were shipping with to drop interacting with me after that. They timed setting all this up when they knew I'd be out at work so I'd come home to the mess they made.
It doesn't help they're running a quickly popular blog and honestly the most of their mutuals are their flying monkey's. I just don't really know how to handle even dealing with the damage they've done to my name by slandering me in private. I have all the receipts and logs on how they treated me, since I think they counted on me closing those DMs on discord and deleting the private server, but I don't want to dip into making a callout post.
I don't want to stoop to their level but it bothers me that I just have all the truth of how they manipulated me and hurt me, what they actually sent me when they acted to do the most damage when I couldn't be around to immediately defend myself, just sitting here in my hands. I was only noticing the ego trip they were on near the end before they decided to cut me off, and I think it's because I might have made it a little too clear I was getting wise to their tactics.
I know I might not ever get closure from it but they really went about making me feel like every bit of effort to what we had for interactions and chatting was just worthless. Like I was an inconvenience to them.
I just really don't know what I can do to deal with the damage they made to prevent me from enjoying myself in the same fandom as them anymore.
So, I haven't dealt with drama similar to this in forever, Anon. And even then, I was on the outskirts of the fallout, not one of the handful of 'main players.'
First - I'm so sorry to hear this is happening to you. I fully understand the frustration of being wrongly accused and not feeling like you have the ability to speak out without causing more issues that you probably aren't interested in dealing with.
I do want to say - if you don't already know - anyone willing to drop you based on nothing more than the lies and fabrications of someone else isn't someone you need to have around. Losing them is a blessing in disguise. Even though I'm sure it doesn't feel that way right now.
In my opinion, the best thing you can do is move forward like it doesn't matter. Chances are, this person who set you up wants to see you angry and hurting, and the less of that that you can give them, the better. Keep your blog active. If you've got people you're still writing with, keep those threads active and/or start up new things. Post headcanons, make aesthetic stuff (I use Canva for a lot of the things I make these days) - basically do everything you can to appear as unbothered as possible. If you get anon hate, ignore it. Those kinds of people hate being ignored. Show them that their poor choices aren't going to play any role in how you move forward.
Do our followers have anything they'd like to suggest or add?
~ Mod MJ ~
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Here's a little story time about something that happened in the beginning of September 2022 and I'm still not completely over it cause I'm a spiteful little bitch!
So, I had this online friend that I was talking to for months, I'm pretty sure that some of you know who I'm talking about already by the date that I gave you, but of those of you who don't know, let's call her Emma.
Emma was a good friend of mine, we met through Tumblr and we started talking a lot on discord. She was very nice but also very sensitive and chronically online (although that last part I hadn't realized until after we had stopped talking). She had told me about herself, her life, her family, her trauma, and I had done the same. We were very close and we talked to each other about everything.
We got along pretty well and we only ever disagreed over opinions and ships on Atla. So nothing serious that could main a friendship, right? Wrong. Because as I said, Emma was chronically online and overly sensitive.
One day, like all the others, she posted something about her favourite character, (which wasn't really correct, but I said nothing) and someone disagreed with her, let's call that person Tom. While character x was one of Emma's favourites, Tom didn't like them a lot, and so they pointed out how the flaws of character x actually affect the subject Emma was talking about and Emma did not like it because, well, she's chronically online and a dickrider.
Now, Tom and I had talked before. We weren't as close as we were with Emma, but we had similar views on a lot of things and had interacted with each other's posts a lot of times. Emma did not like that I agreed with someone who disagreed with her, because she thinks she's the main character and she's overly sensitive so she thought that me having a different opinion on something meant that I wasn't a good friend to her?
So she blocked me.
She ghosted me on all social media without even doing as much as saying bye.
I tracked down a common friend we had, let's call that friend Olive, and I asked her if she could talk to Emma for me, because I didn't know what was going on, and since Emma was valuable to me I didn't want to lose our friendship over a reason I didn't even know.
Olive talked to Emma and found out that the reason Emma ghosted me was her conflict with Tom and the fact that in a past tent, I had agreed with Tom on a different subject. I apologized, even tho I hadn't done anything bad, and I decided to give Emma space. Unfortunately, Olive and I drifted apart as well (although she's an awesome person and never and never dud anything wrong).
Soon Emma left Tumblr and Discord and moved to Twitter, where she proceeded to say shit about me and my other friends.
I was obviously was pissed because you don't just use your friend to trauma dumb, then ghost them forever for a stupid reason and then shit talk them behind their back under a different name. That's just bullshit.
Even later, Emma left Twitter and returned to Tumblr, again under a different name, and decided she'd continue doing what she was doing and would simply ignore the existence of her past friends.
I was still upset with her, and I was still hurt by the fact that I never got closure so I decided to ruin it for her because as I said, I'm a spiteful little bitch. I made a second blog and I confronted her. I told her about how much what she did had hurt me and I made sure to mention that she's a trashy person and an even trashier friend.
And she left Tumblr again without even responding 💀
Now, I don't know where Emma is or what she's doing. I also don't care because at least this time I got my closure. I don't have any tender feelings for her anymore, I wouldn't want to talk to her again and I'm not hurt by the memory of her now. However, even tho it doesn't make me sad, I'm still not 100% over it, which is why I'm making this post. I'm still angry at her and if ever saw her. I don't think I'll even be not angry at her. I'm a formal believer of "you can move on without forgiving or forgetting" so I'll probably die upset, which doesn't sound bad tbh.
I don't talk with Olive anymore and my relationship with Tom is the same as it was. I'm glad that my bond with Tom wasn't affected by Emma's bs. He was a better person and blogger than she was either way. I still talk with all the other friends I had back then, and I've made some new ones and every single one of them is better than Emma could ever dream of being.
I actually started talking with one of Emma's "enemies" XD. Emma used to trashtalk that girl 24/7 and was calling her lesbophobic, which made me, a lesbian, want to keep my distance, but after Emma left, I started talking to that girl and realized that she is not, in fact, lesbophobic and she's quite pleasant to talk to.
So if I were to come to a conclusion that would be that sometimes you might interact with shitty people and if you're lucky, at some point they'll walk out of your life and you might be sad when that happens but in the future you're life will be better without them.
Rot in hell Emma 😊
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What inspired you to create AFR?
// I was working on a different askblog (don't bother asking about it, I hated that blog by the end of it and I don't wanna think about it anymore lmao) and this was my way of moving past that and have something else to work on. i (extremely likely) have adhd and can't Not work on something all time time.
// the other blog was about the skelly bros so i wanted to write about the other characters -chara, asriel and frisk didn't exist that other comic and i figured it'd give me the chance to write about undyne and mtt eventually. funnily, i always planned to "kill off" the bone bros just so I wouldn't have to write them -DR just gave a very good excuse to get around that without actually offing them SFKJSLDFJ
// it really just boils down to "i love undertale, i want to keep making undertale content but this time outside sans and papyrus. how about i try my hand at the 'everybody lives au?'"
// But mostly I wanted to approach what living on the surface would really be like for the Underground. I wanted a in depth reaction and the political process of settling a new country seemingly overnight.
// i liked chara, asriel and frisk well enough -i was really pumped over a fancomic i read that gave Asriel more fluffier, curlier hair and i was like -wow! i wanna do that! i wanna make asriel super pretty just cause i can. and looking at the actual sprite of baby asriel, you could make the argument he's got lil eyelashes in the memory segment. So i was like. I'm going to make the most GNC asriel there ever was and then I did
// once the main storyline (chapters 1 and 2 in the redraw) was finished, i got very overwhelmed and worried people wouldn't be able to handle the Asgore Discourse the comic was going to bring up. (also, drawing so many characters at once just wasn't something I was used to) so I dropped the comic for a few months.
// Then DR came out and I couldn't stop thinking about "how would Chara react to being in a similar position to Kris? What if Asriel left when they became a teenager?" which led to "why would Asriel leave?" Honestly I THINK I already had plans for Capitalist King Asriel but they weren't so fleshed out then. This just worked so much better together.
// Which is why I came back and didn't take it seriously -this was already a blog story I abandoned so I was just playing around with the concept -it wasn't until the Feylow stuff really landing well and me losing my job (and thus needed the blog to cope during the pandemic lmao) that I realized I actually had gotten attached and wanted to pursue this story seriously.
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@lebutterfly-effect asked:
Who was your first muse?
Favourite thing about roleplaying?
Least favourite thing about roleplaying?
OTP for your muse?
NOTP for your muse?
What are some similarities between you and your muse/muses?
What are some differences between you and your muse/muses?
Have you any old muses that you’d love to bring back?
What’s one random headcanon about your muses that people mightn’t know?
What do you look for in a rp partner?
Favourite trope?
Least favourite trope?
Are there any AU’s you’d like to explore but haven’t had the chance to yet?
Do you listen to music whilst writing? If so, what kind of music?
Who was your first muse?
On tumblr it was Simon from Detroit: Become Human. I still play him on another blog, though I'm not as active there anymore as I used to be. Before I joined tumblr, I played lots of other characters though, and my first was an OC named Cain.
Favorite thing about RP?
Connecting with other people and being able to write something with them is a magical experience, I love all the friends I make.
Least favorite thing about RP?
The drama that seems to happen constantly. I just want to write, I don't care about all the callout posts and false accusations and petty fighting.
OTP for your muse?
I love all the ships I have for my muses, so I can't just pick one OTP.
NOTP for your muse?
I haven't come across anyone trying to ship with my muses that I wasn't able to work something out with so we could both enjoy the ship. I've never had a bad ship before that I didn't love. So I don't have a NOTP yet.
What are some similarities between you and your muse/s?
Alma and I both have a difficult time with physical touch. It causes overstimulation when we are already stressed or anxious and leads to sensory overload. Arda and I both have a love for music and find beauty in everything, even things that aren't conventionally considered beautiful. Errol and I both have a hard time making genuine friends, even though I don't think I have it as extreme as he does and don't handle it the same way he does, we are both very lonely people that have a hard time making sincere connections with others. Gayle and I both have a bit of a temper when things don't go our way, or the people we do care about are hurt or threatened.
What are some differences between you and your muses?
Abel and Evan are, admittedly, very difficult for me to write because we have virtually nothing in common. I've actually been debating taking them off of my muse list because of that. Even though they are important characters in my main muses lives, they are so different than me that I have a hard time getting into their heads.
Do you have any old muses you'd like to bring back?
For a short time I had two OC's on an old blog that I would love to bring back because I've played them on other sites and love them a lot. Brook-Lynn Young and Garick McClallan. They are also important to my main muses's stories, but in different ways, and are secondary characters in the story I'm writing. So they might not translate as well into RP. At least on this account. but I do love them and have thought about bringing them back. I also love David 8 from the Alien franchise and want to RP him, but there's not much of an RPC for him to belong to here. At least from what I've seen in the past.
What's a random headcanon about your muse people might not know?
Alma's name definition means 'nourshing', 'kind', and 'soul'. it has Latin, Hebrew, Italian, Filipino, and Arabic roots.
What do you look for in an RP partner?
Someone who is good at open communication and can handle misunderstandings and disagreements with civil conversation like an adult without losing their temper and getting passive aggressive. I've had RP partners in the past that were like this and I can't handle the drama any more.
Favorite trope?
Probably found family and hurt/comfort. I'm a sucker for angst, but it's got to have a happy ending, and there's just something special about a group of misfits coming together to support and love each other when the rest of the world is against them that I find amazing.
Least favorite trope?
Soulmates. I don't know why, but I've never liked the idea of people who are fated to be together beyond their control. I prefer the idea that people choose to love each other every day, despite the hardships, on purpose, against all odds. I find it much more romantic.
Are there any AU's you'd like to explore but haven't had the chance to yet?
I mentioned before I want to do a superhero/villain AU at some point, and just haven't written it up yet. But I've also been thinking about a rockstar AU for Errol, since he is already so musically inclined. I would also like to do a witch AU for Arda, and faerie AU's for both Alma and Arda, to go along with Errol's already established one.
Do you listen to music while writing? If so what kind?
I do! I usually put my entire music library on shuffle and just skip songs I'm not in the mood for. But that means that I listen to ever type of music under the sun pretty much lol. I can go from something hard to something soft one song after the other and that's just how I listen to my music. I have very eclectic tastes. Though, I will admit, when I'm having a hard time focusing while writing, I will choose instrumental stuff specifically, without any words, because that can help me focus better.
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Anon wrote: I'm afraid of choosing the wrong major (I'm a 20F INFJ). After discovering you blog, I've never felt so whole in my life, and I'm deeply grateful to you for it.
While reading the asks and some of your personal things, you inspired me to take initiative in choosing philosophy as my major. Wholeheartedly, I never thought I could be able to choose that one bc I always felt incapable of choosing a career of that caliber, although deep and unconsciously inside me I strongly dreamed of focusing my lifetime on that field, but feared of completely losing myself in philosophy and not paying attention to the real world at all.
My parents were skeptical about it because they don't want me to grow a bad root of snobbery (specially my father, but due not letting me choose something that didn't feel right to him). I honestly wasn't the real me my whole life, I always imagined myself as a creative, playful, inwarded artistic person (in my experience, an INFP), and holded that facade in front of everyone (specially my father) to not feel that I was expecting more of the world than the normal person, and to not feel that I was a "fake" one (which is a big Fe misconception, I know…).
Now I know it all started when I joined art communities in the internet a decade ago… I'm aware that I did escapism when doing paintings and drawings and diving in fiction, they made me focus more on Fi-Ne subconsciously, which let to me always being on Se grips, and feeling righteous when anyone tried to deny me that facade.
Now I understand I can be wholly myself, even if my father or anyone (including myself) doesn't really agree with me, but just because they don't like my style of doing things (he's an ENFJ). I'm so happy I can feel I can be independent now and take interest in other people regardless of ANY difference. I'm more compassionate and more integrated in doing fun things with people than before :) and it's such a great sensation.
I'm a VERY ignorant person in the field but it doesn't bother me at all, I'm so excited to get into it and dive in philosophical thinking (now all the routines I've developed are made to maintain myself healthy and resilient in my career instance, and overall my life instance), I truly feel a life purpose now but I don't know how to start properly.
I've searched for guides, videos, podcasts but they all made me more anxious because the themes are so broad, I even start feeling the rumination pull for not finding an idea that I resonate with in a sea of so much other ideas, and that makes me fear if I can truly manage the themes (perhaps I get blocked at some point when I don't understand something for not having enough resources and then start to do escapism through art again or in anything else because I can't find a proper closure to my problems. I developed my artistic skills through the years but I can't really grab a pencil and a paper for drawing anymore because now It's a clear sign to me that I'm gonna use it to escape from my own life again). I fear quitting the career and waste my parents' money on it cause I wasn't sure of my decision.
I'm sure my functions are undeveloped at the moment because I just started to truly know myself this year and started to have an academic routine again after a whole year of academic stagnation and isolation (also my main language isn't english), so I'm sorry if this message is messy or sounds weird, repetitive, or something else.
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What is your question exactly? You're speaking out of both sides of your mouth, saying that you've never felt more whole and happy with your choice yet also saying that you're not sure and worry about it. What is the truth here?
Do you think just because you know what you want to do that life should be easy for you from now on? That's not realistic, is it? Do you believe you should already know a lot before you begin your studies? Then you wouldn't need to pay big bucks to learn and earn a degree, would you?
You fear failure because you don't have enough faith in yourself, you don't have enough trust in the world, and you don't extend yourself the **compassion** to live life for yourself, at your own pace. If you are truly a mature and independent adult, then you fully own every success and failure, without hesitation, and learn from both. But, like a child, you still hope to take credit for the successes and disown the failures, because you fear being judged as a failure and living with yourself as a failure. Your perspective on failure is still too tied to your ego identity. When you get hijacked by fear of failure, it leads you into nonsense thinking and overthinking. Perhaps you should get some therapy to learn how to handle your fear and anxiety better.
The future is never guaranteed no matter what you do. Instead of wasting your time and energy trying to "get on top" of the future, be fully present and perform your tasks well. How you choose to direct your focus is what determines the quality of your future. If you choose to focus on all the things that could go wrong, you'll spiral into anxiety and despair and have no energy left for doing real work. If you choose to focus on developing your potential properly, you will keep opening up new vistas for growth, thereby leaving you with no reason whatsoever to fear the future. Even if things don't work out, it's not the end of the world. You will have learned something, grown a bit, and you can springboard from there into something else, can't you? Is there a law stating that you can only do one thing in life?
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Of course, right after starting an accountability blog, I get a nasty cold that wiped me out. And unfortunately I'm still not 100%. I might try to do a light workout later, but as decorating for Christmas about did me in and my mum and grandmother had to finish for me, I'm not keen on pushing it too much.
If I do, I will post it no matter how small, but, in the meantime, I figured I'd give a list of people that have inspired me in my workout/fitness journey and links to their content and such like that. I really struggled for a long time trying to find fitness people that are the typical fitness gurus that you readily find on youtube and instagram, etc. Or ones that talk about getting skinny, etc. My main goal with fitness has always been to gain muscle so I don't exactly vibe with perky people telling me how to lose weight in thirty days. I could care less about my hip dips and belly. I want to be able to bench press my boyfriend if I get bored enough to or (less sarcastically) do any work on the hobby farm I dream of starting someday without assistance.
So, without anymore rambling, here is a list of people I follow that give me inspiration to go for my fitness goals in the order that I locate them in my insta following list:
Tatum McCann (she/her) - @tatumtots37 on instagram and link here for youtube (I have not watched her youtube channel yet just her insta content, but I know not everyone is on there so i'll give yt links where I can).
Jordan Maron (he/him) - many of you probably grew up with CaptainSparklez! I've watched his content since before pffft I don't even remember. Well before Mianite at least and I was there when he started getting into fitness. He was definitely my earliest inspiration to get fit as he kept going past just getting in shape and going for healthy muscle mass as a hobby as much as for health itself. I will leave a link for his lifting channel but it is pretty much dead lol. But he does still occasionally post reels on his insta @jordanmaron.
Gordy Bravo (she/her) - @bravobuilt_fit on instagram. She does not have youtube channel that I am aware of. She does have her own website where she sells fitness programs, etc. Though I have never used it or even checked the website out cause I have authority issues. If people tell me what to do, it's very likely that I won't do it. Hence why I curate my own routine as I go. BUT her content on insta is fantastic. She's very charismatic and natural and it makes her content very approachable.
Lauren Pon (she/her) - If you love anime memes, video games, and want to get muscular, you need to follow her! She's hilarious and sweet and makes lifting (she's a powerlifter) so unintimidating. She's on Insta (@laurenpon), YouTube, and twitch! She's also on tiktok, but i'm not on there really and her linktree is not working. However, her @ is the same across the board so I assume it's the same on there.
Maya Davis (she/her) - More anime vibes, cosplay, and bodybuilder! Her insta is @mayatheamazon and that's the only platform she has as far as I'm aware of. She also has an Insta for her fashion tho. She's a fashion student and the fits are always on point!
Tabi (she/her) - Her bio says it best, Fitness and Anime! Her insta is @tabi.lift (tiktok is the @tabi.fit as is her backup insta) and she's on youtube. She also does cosplay.
Amber (she/her) - She's a weightlifter with more anime vibes and cosplay (are you sensing a theme here? I did not realize anime was the way to my muscle building heart until i started making this list xD). Her insta is @amberthevalkyrie. She's also a fitness model.
Serena Abweh (she/her, i think passed on a couple tags she's used, but if I'm wrong pls let me know!) - very meme-y powerlifter and artist! Her insta is @rena_serenaa. She also has a youtube channel.
Leigh Laurel (she/her) - Lots more bodybuilding, anime, and cosplay! Her instagram is @fitmissfilipina.
Patty aka LEAN BEEF (she/her) - if you're this far and you are aware with anything on that side of the internet, you already know who Patty is or atleast have seen her in fitness edits, etc. She is the person that I saw and went yep, that's it, we're fucking doing this! She's so badass and makes fitness so fucking approachable! I absolutely love her content! I watch her insta religiously and her youtube anytime i want to learn new techniques (especially with mobility training) or just relatable fitness content. And of course there's more anime and cosplay! xD She's also on twitch. Her insta is @leanbeefpatty and I'm pretty sure her tiktok is the same but her linktree is not working so don't quote me on that. (I will say that she has programs for food, working out, etc but again I have issues so I've never looked into them.)
That's all for now. I will update this list as I find more (or if I realize I missed any) as we go!
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Objects in Orbit has been cancelled, due to lack of any updates and will to ever continue it again. I bet everyone saw this coming. Below is a bit of history on it, some assets, and more. Please credit back to @starlitfunkster , or just use StarlitCocoa, as it's my main YouTube channels username. Nobody will know who I am, but that's fine. So long as people enjoy the assets that I have, even if I put them all to waste.
Objects in Orbit was an idea spawned when I stopped having fun with Object Isles. In hindsight, an idea spurred on just so you can keep a character in a show for a little while longer was always going to end badly.
This image was meant for Episode 5, it was to be the culmination of Kesha/Sparkler and Sam/Sketchbook's rivalry, with them causing their team to lose due to their arguing. I'm keeping the colored version for myself, unless people like this image. But you could always just recreate it with the assets!
This and Episode 2 were the only future episodes planned. Episode 2 was the only one that made it into the script phase. Other ideas include:
-An obstacle course, where flyers would not be allowed to compete at all
-A katamari reference, because my old username had to come full circle /s
-And that was it. All other challenges before have elimination challenges made for them too, in case nobody saw the final script update for OIO. A reference of Team Treasure Trek from Mario Party 4 based on Episode 2's challenge. Egg balancing on a tight rope based on Episode 3.. for some reason. A constellation quiz based on Episode 4. Who knows what the one based on Episode 5 could have been.
Melody was always meant to be a side character, and the original new mascot for my blog. But unfortunately, due to my goldfish brain, I forgot that Ace was a character I had.
It was a good thing though in my eyes. If his team got up for elimination, I'd imagine people would just eliminate him fast. And that's because of Paper Puppets Take Two.
Speaking of Ace, he became an Ace of Clubs. Back when everyone used the old assets.. and back when I didn't know there was a very useful website meant for resizing stuff.
Probably for the best. This old art style isn't doing it for me, chief.
I thank @blogbomber00 for making one of the best characters in Object Isles and Objects in Orbit, Sparkler. They were not the best written, and I only have myself to blame for that.
Y..You can go back to owning her now, sis. Alongside your other character, Sketchbook. They weren't mine, and it was wrong of me to take them long ago.
You may not be into Object Shows anymore, but you have these two if you ever want to turn them into humans and remove any signs of them being for an Object Show.
And well.. I thank my creation of Wizeria, for reigniting that spark. It may be dim, but it's still there! Without their creation, I don't think I'd ever want to write for Object Shows, let alone still be in the OSC, without them!
Thank you, my loveable creation!
And thank you, to any viewers of Objects in Orbit.
Assets are here, (minus Caboodle's) thank you once more. Until next time!
#objects in orbit#(credit to my main tumblr or my youtube channel StarlitCocoa)#(yes i got tired midway through and just wrote signatures on the image)
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muse bio rant
i love carrd i do it's so easy to use and so intuitive...if you have ten muses maximum. after that it gets so annoying and guyyys i have 5 carrd pages for this one blog, 3 for ocs, 1 for canon muses and one for the main carrd with rules and stuff. and it sucks. i want all my stuff in one place and for it not to take forever to load. i want to be able to just write and not think about the formatting so much because i have to do everything in markdown. and like i hate everything about google docs and having to use tables for everything and ai and people being able to see your email and shit. and google sites sucks too.
and i just don't know what to do anymore cause i don't WANT to be that person with a ton of ocs and no bios. i want to be able to share my ideas with people and have people understand my vision. but carrd ruins my flow and now i just have nothing. and i considered just like...building a website from scratch but then i'd have to work within an html framework to write bios which is in fact WORSE than carrd and a lot more work. and i don't want to host my bios on tumblr cause if my blog gets deleted or whatever i lose everything. and notion sucks too. and i tried millanote and it's fine but i can't afford multiple subscriptions to things and i'd still be keeping carrd for my other blogs just not using it for this one.
i'm just so frustrated and tired and i just want to make things work and i have a vision and i can't execute it or do anything and i feel like because of that writing with me is so much harder and i don't want things to be hard.
no one else seems to be as annoyed with carrd as i am and like maybe i'm just dumb maybe i should just tough it out or whatever but it's just it sucks idk this sucks
i just wanna write and like telepathically communicate muse information to people ya know???
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day 2
Hello, void.
Tumblr is so much different than it was in like, 2011. Like I still have my main tumblr around here somewhere, and I know a lot of my friends are still on this site, but I want to be able to chronicle everything without writing for an audience. Screaming into the void has always been the great thing about tumblr, but making this blog I see how much things have changed. Fuck you, Yahoo.
(Wait, Yahoo still owns tumblr, right?)
Anyway. It's 9:53 am and this is what my morning has looked like so far. I took my Adderall at 5:20 this morning again when Kraken got up, then slept a little more and got myself up at 7 (again, still, SO EASY?!). Sleeping last night was a little difficult - I'm from a desert city, so it's in my blood not to consume too much water. Like a cactus. Plus, I found out I may have esophageal dysphagia (you mean it isn't normal to need liquids for food, and most people don't choke on thick foods?!) and I've always hated swallowing (shhh). I hold liquids in my mouth for a stupid long time. But yesterday I was SO THIRSTY. I always wondered how and why Kraken drank so much water. NOW I KNOW. Plus, I stopped taking the oxybutinin because it was causing bloating and making my eyes dry, which is hell with aging eyes and contacts. So I had to get up to pee last night three. Separate. Times. I did not rest well. And my night twitches got way worse, like my body was powering down from the Adderall. So I let myself sleep until 7, got up, and then
-tried to wake up Naruto, asked if he wanted eggs
-made us tea and him eggs
-went down to switch laundry, realize I didn't run the dryer, run dryer
-tried to wake up Naruto about 6 times between 7:20 and 7:50 (did he eat his eggs? fuck no. After complaining to the psychiatrist that I don't feed him. Sir, you are 15, and you haven't eaten the breakfast I've made you before summer school AT LEAST four times. I do not work, thanks to you attacking Kraken and me needing to take off time to get your mental health sorted, therefore making me lose my job. I can't keep wasting food like this. Ass.)
-Inflated Naruto's tire for school, which didn't need inflating, but he insists it does. He just is huge and I have to check the weight limit on his bike to see if he needs a bigger one. (220 lbs and 5'9" at 15, holy shit. I'm 5'3 and his father is like 5'6". I have no idea where this came from.)
-ran more laundry
-took out Courage, dusted the leather couch in the garage
-watered plants, refilled makeshift birdbaths
-contacted lawyer re: OVI
-reached out to friends to reform our stitch-n-bitch group
-reached out to Viking to tell him I love him, even though we don't talk much anymore
-reached out to friends to plan a dinner for friend who is moving
-did wordle, framed, heardle, Animal Restaurant, and nyt mini
-did more dishes (a fucking Sisyphean effort, but I find I don't mind dishes as much now?)
-folded a bunch of laundry
I have a whole list of shit I need to do but this blog isn't for tracking that, just for seeing what the changes in my life are like. One thing I'm noticing is that I can pick up something and put it back down without my brain going "no no, need to do this this and this and then finish and THEN do that thing" and then hating itself for not knowing where to start/finish.
Also, food tastes bomb af but I don't wanna eat anything past a few bites. I eat for fun, so this is ... disappointing. I also had to quit weed because they're gonna drug test me to make sure I'm not on anything illicit and that I'm taking my meds and not selling them. PLUS I have to figure out drinking again since now I'm on Prozac AND Adderall and it's risky to drink. So I have an asshole 15yo who smokes and vapes and won't fucking quit, and I can't have SHIT for vices to deal.
Other than that? I feel pretty good. Now that my brain isn't bogged down with all the stress of shit executive dysfunction, I can think about things more clearly and enjoy more things.
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Muselin 101
Who am I: You can call me Muse or Muselin. She/her. '93 liner. Expat. Forensic psychologist and escapist leading a double life. Kpop fossil.
What my blog is: Kpop fandom and fiction blog. Hard hours, smut scenarios, headcanons, reblogs etc.
What my blog is not: A fluff blog. A child-friendly blog. Kiddies please leave.
Who I write for: Super Junior (current active members), SHINee, Tomorrow x Together (TXT), Ateez, NCT 127/WayV. They are my main groups. I also write for Stray Kids as part of the @skzseasons events.
I also like and am familiar with the following groups/idols, meaning you can gush and chit-chat to me about them anytime but I do not write for them currently: Shinhwa, BTS, Monsta X+Wonho, KARD, (G)-Idle, Everglow, Sunmi, MAMAMOO, BIGBANG, Ha Sungwoon, KNK, Omega X, OnlyOneOf, Woosung (The Rose), Seventeen, Enhypen. VIXX used to be one of the four main groups I wrote for, but due to them not having had a comeback together since 2018 and losing two members since then, there has been a complete lack of interest in the fiction community. I will always love and support VIXX and if any requests or asks come in, I will be happy to discuss.
Asks: you can chat to me any time about any of the groups and things I write about, you can send me your dreams, fantasies, guilty pleasures, whatever fun stuff you want and we can have fun together :)
Requests: I will take these if I can but this is primarily not a request blog. I have a very demanding full time job and I can't keep up with many requests. When I do have requests open I will announce it, look in my pinned post for this. If I cannot do something, I will respond to your request and let you know. If you are requesting anonymously, I encourage you to please, please give yourself an emoji or an anon name so that when I answer your ask you can find it more easily and I can create a # for you.
Green Light (What I do write): soft smut, hard smut, explicit smut, angst, smutty reactions, headcanons, short suggestive or smut scenarios, kink fills, NSFW alphabets, Idol/Reader, Male Idol/Male Idol, threesomes and moresomes, light to intermediate BDSM (think light/intermediate bondage, impact play, some pain play), knifeplay/edge play, dubious consent, step-siblings (no blood relation), piss kink/omorashi, drunk sex/high sex(weed only), cheating/cuckolding, toxic relationships.
Yellow Light (I might consider writing this but we need to discuss it): true incest (not just step-siblings), consensual non-consent, drugs other than alcohol, caffeine or weed.
Red Light (What I do NOT write): OCs (anymore), pregnancy related, milf/dilf scenarios, weddings/marriage, domestic violence, aging characters up or down significantly, mutilation, scat/defecation, severe mental illness (e.g. schizophrenia), rape, extreme BDSM (e.g. needle play, mummification), character deaths, murder, yandere.
Anything for a kpop idol born 2005 or after (legal age in Korea was 20 in Korean age, 19 chronological age. And yes, I am very aware that legal age and age of consent are different things. The age of consent in Korea is actually 16, however, the vast majority of fandoms are unaware of this and view smut writing as pornography, therefore the general consensus is that we take legal age as the minimum acceptable age when it comes to writing about idols). As of 2023, Korea is now no longer going to be using their own age calculating system by which a baby is considered 1 year old already even at birth and a year is added to their age every time the new year comes around. Korea will calculate age the same way as the rest of the world does, meaning people born in 2004 are legal adults.
What I don't write Part 2: trans!reader, trans!idol, male!reader (As a cis, mostly straight female I do not have any lived experience of this and don't want to cause offence by misrepresenting). Specific physical, neurodevelopmental (e.g. ADHD, Autism) or intellectual disabilities (while I have a lot of knowledge about these and work with many people who have them due to my IRL occupation and qualifications, I do not have any of them personally and I do not feel I could accurately portray the experience of someone who does. I simply don't want to offend anyone).
About Muselin: I’ve been a fanfiction writer since 2008. Before I started writing for kpop I have written for Naruto, Mass Effect, Warcraft and Star-Crossed Myth. I first became a kpop fan in 2009, with Super Junior’s iconic “Sorry Sorry” and SHINee’s “Ring Ding Dong”. I became a kpop fiction writer in 2020. Kpop concerts I’ve been to: BTS June 2019 at Wembley, Super Junior online concert May 2020, Everglow online concert July 2021, Super Junior Super Show 9 Beyond Live 2022, Sunmi in London 2022, aespa online concert 2023, WayV London fanmeet 2023.
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I posted 3,663 times in 2021
570 posts created (16%)
3093 posts reblogged (84%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 5.4 posts.
I added 1,314 tags in 2021
#fun with friendos - 256 posts
#marina's asks - 237 posts
#marina recommends - 216 posts
#peaky blinders - 132 posts
#mrs. marina solomons - 124 posts
#anon ask - 78 posts
#lily in the sky with diamonds - 75 posts
#lily flower - 75 posts
#tag you're it - 62 posts
#alfie solomons - 59 posts
Longest Tag: 139 characters
#but i find it rich when people shit on it when only a couple of years earlier people were wearing fake tan with ssilver glitterin eyeshadow
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
GUYS GUYS GUYS THERE WAS A PEAKY QUESTION ON WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE!
I'M LOSING MY MIND
150 notes • Posted 2021-08-21 20:30:56 GMT
#4
x
151 notes • Posted 2021-11-26 05:42:33 GMT
#3
MARINA'S MASTERLIST
CURRENT STATUS:
Fic Requests: CLOSED
Headcanon Requests: OPEN
🔹I do not write smut. Fankly, I don't think you'd want me to, lol. However, I'm more than willing to hear about NSFW headcanons or ideas you have. I'm not uncomfortable with sex, it's just I can't write it, haha. EDIT: I guess I do now, a bit. I don't take requests, though, not there yet.
🔹I tag NSFW things and #simping #nsfw. Feel free to block it, I'm not here to make you feel uncomfortable and I don't get offended easily.
🔹Also, please let me know if I forget to tag something. I am VERY forgetful, it will happen.
🔹The people in the list below are who I write for. Non-negotiable, I'm afraid.
🔹For my fics, I recommend using the InteractiveFics Chrome extension to replace the variables to your preferred criteria. It's free and only takes a couple of clicks.
🔹Here's my Fanfiction.net
🔹Here's my AO3
🔹Here's my Quotev (I don't go there much anymore, idk why I bother)
🔹If I know you IRL and you found this blog, no you didn't, go away
QUEUE
NOW! Onto the main event; the moment you came for:
See the full post
190 notes • Posted 2021-06-19 22:41:38 GMT
#2
Maybe It's for the Best | Part I
Summary: Charlie is having a hard time adjusting to his father's remarriage and his constant hostility is driving a wedge into it.
Word Count: 2836 words
Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Reader
Variables: Y/n, Y/N
Warnings: angst, mention of sex, feelings of abandonment from Charlie, soft Tommy with Charlie, Tommy and Charlie are still grieving, I guess mild season 3 spoilers if you squint.
Author’s Note: I recommend using the InteractiveFics Chrome extension to replace the variables to your preferred criteria. It's free and only takes a couple of clicks.
This fic is also for @deepdonutkid's 300 follower milestone contest. Congrats for 300 followers!
MASTERLIST
Tommy Shelby SFW Taglist
Please fill out this google form to be added or removed from the taglist.
Part I -> Part II -> Part III
See the full post
1121 notes • Posted 2021-06-19 13:12:37 GMT
#1
Maybe It's for the Best | Part II
gif from @nofckingfighting
Summary: Tommy is miserable, Y/n is not coping well, Charlie realises what he did, and Ada is caught in the middle of it all.
Word Count: 5095 words (I told you it was gonna be long)
Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Reader
Variables: Y/n
Warnings: angst, mention of sex, feelings of abandonment from Charlie, Tommy and Charlie are still grieving, I guess mild season 3 spoilers if you squint, mentions of substance abuse, in one scene you can interpret it as being alcohol abuse, Karl is being a shit, Charlie cries a lot, Reader is struggling, Reader misses Tommy and Charlie, there's a horse, mentions of death, jealousy
Author’s Note: I really hope this does part I justice. There's gonna be a part III soon, but I've got to pack cause I'm moving to Belgium, so idk when it'll be out.
I recommend using the InteractiveFics Chrome extension to replace the variables to your preferred criteria. It’s free and only takes a couple of clicks.
If you need a song to set the mood: Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God) - Kate Bush
EDIT: I'm really sorry guys. I didn't notice until now, but some glitch happened and the first scene of the fic didn't copy. I'm so embarrassed bec everyone who praised it just didn't get a beginning. Sorry. If you would be so kind to read it again, it would mean the world to me.
MASTERLIST
Tommy Shelby SFW Taglist
Please fill out this google form to be added or removed from the taglist.
Part I -> Part II -> Part III
See the full post
1255 notes • Posted 2021-06-24 23:23:34 GMT
Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →
OF COURSE TUMBLR IS ALSO YELLING AT ME FOR PART 3 OMFG
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TikoTok is so time consuming and it distracts me from what I need to be doing at that moment. I also don't know how to be less on my phone. I'm completely fed up with all the apps, but my autopilot brain if that sounds logic picks up my phone and I'm doing the same again as yesterday. purely because there is nothing to do at this point in my life. I'm even done up with khh and kpop and all that. It's no fun. Omg does it mean I am aging ?? Nooo
White people and discrimination??? No i sont care neither
Yeah, Kpop, I haven’t been really keeping up with. It’s just time consuming AF. But I also I’m not really a huge fan of any group past 2015. In addition to that, after Jonghyun passed away it’s just the been The Same™. I started feeling that way a bit when L.Joe left Teen Top but then Jonghyun passed away and it amplified a BUNCH. Then Goo Hara passed away not too long later. Both on them were my favorite members in their group (well for KARA I think Hara was kinda tied with Nicole for me). L.Joe was my fave too but obviously that’s not the same as death so I can’t put that on the same level.
As for KHH, I don’t know. I have years where I’m less interested than others and I think 2020 was one of those years until after SMTM9. Also, in 2020 there’s been SO much interaction on this blog which helps a lot too. Cause I feel like some years have been kinda dead in KHH tumblr even before it got gutted by The Great Purge of 2018™.
But yeah, I think about that too. “Like OMG. I’m gonna get older and maybe being a KHH fan won’t be a big deal to me anymore but I don’t want that because I really enjoy blogging and doing youtube and talking with other fans and stuff. As well as going to concerts and things like that. I don’t wanna lose all of that.” Like for example, I used to be a big rock fan but the rock scene isn’t as big anymore, so many groups have stopped making music, the music itself isn’t really that popular anymore, things like warped tour have stopped. I mean, I don’t CARE that much anymore (cause I got into other things) and I don’t really follow the bands that still exist that I was a fan of. I listen to them sometimes (my MAIN ones who were my favorites). Anyway, I do have a fear of that happening with KHH for me, Not gonna lie. But I came to the conclusion that the best I can do is like it while it’s still here.
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Hey; curious if you were going to try explaining why you don't feel the dichotomy between Desmond/Descole is rooted in DID, 'cause I agree and can't explain it, -.- (unless I missed the side blog, in which case, sorry). They actually strike me as fairly similar in their personalities and reactions (both are pretty sarcastic and somewhat sassy). IDK, Descole is just the actions of an unmoored man who was punted straight over the despair event horizon)?
Oh hi! I assume you’re referring to my tags on this reblog here (dw about missing the sideblog, it’s not one I really link to anywhere and I never did end up making a post after all).
Very quick nitpicky thing, I never said that I don’t feel the difference between them is due to DID. Regardless of whether or not what I said was basically to the same effect, I don’t know enough about DID and am not qualified to be able to say one way or another. I hope this makes sense, it’s just something I want to put out there; I’m personally uncomfortable with using "proper” terms like that unless I’m reasonably sure I know what I’m talking about.
The main thing I had issues with iirc was that people complained about Descole and Sycamore contradicting each other, which I don’t feel they do. From my perspective (which is just my perspective), Sycamore is literally a past form of Descole, which is no longer the "real” one, but now merely something he maintains to present a certain way in certain situations. Like how you said, Descole acts how he does because he basically gave up after losing everything. For me, this is especially evident in the AL special episode with Aurora. He straight-out says his sole purpose is revenge and he doesn’t care about anything, because hoping/trying to lead a normal life turned out to be futile, and just ended up in more pain. (I also believe he was being honest in this episode, he’d just been zapped by the laser and had zero reason not to be. It’s the most uncomposed and raw we see him ever, and that’s important imo).
I don’t know if that explains things well, but in shorter form:
Sycamore was the original way he used to be, trying to lead a normal life (and continued acting afterwards in certain situations just because of necessity, though he didn’t think that way anymore). Descole was the result of him giving up and not caring anymore, going all out for his goals and revenge. People say “I don’t understand how Descole could do all these nasty things when Sycamore is so nice”, and say it’s contradictory and hypocritical, but it’s not. The key is Descole comes after Sycamore and is what happens when he no longer cares. He no longer cares about being nice, or having hope, or living normally. The only thing he cares about is the Azran/revenge, because the rest is useless.
I hope this makes sense! It did become a little rambly.
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