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qtkat · 1 year

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being eric cartman’s babysitter would include…

gender: female she/her (being referred to as a girl, as well)

warnings: use of y/n (I KNOW OKAY)

request: nope

a/n: thank you all so much for the likes and reblogs on my first post! i appreciate more than you’d think haha. these headcanons are set when you’ve been his babysitter for a while now, and are based on actually liking you, since i love the mother/older sister figure and eric dynamic (and also i don’t think there’d be much to write about if eric hated you, other than if it’s an enemies to friends i guess lol). also if you want these type of hcs for any of the others just lmk! also wanted to lyk i was fucking smacked writing this, so if there’s any mistakes tell me and i’ll fix them.

- eric dragging you along with him everywhere

- like genuinely dragging you by the wrist and booking it type

- he’s probably tried to take you to school with him

- the bell rings when you were just done getting ready for school and he’s just standing there like ‘ 😃 ‘

- you’re just staring back at him confused

- after a while he’s like “well, are you gonna put on your jacket?”

- FULLY SERIOUS

- and you’re like “what”

- and he just sighs, head down, pinching his nose, “jesus y/n, just puT THE DAMN COAT ON.” (squealing like a little piggy btw)

- “christ, okay - okay.”

- you have one arm in as you’re dragged down the path leading up to your house

- he forced you to drive and you were honestly so disoriented you just did it

- he marches into school, jaw locked dude 😭😭

- everyone is staring, like mr mackey fully stopped in his tracks but didn’t say anything

- mr garrison is so confused bro 😭

- “eric!”

- “yeees” (aka yiiiis)

- “why did you bring a teenage girl with you to school?!!!??”

- ofc you had to leave, because duh??

- don’t worry too much though, the little gremlin made your exit very dramatic

- full on screaming punching the ground at you slowly back away

- i read once about eric dragging out your name like he does his moms, and he does that here too

- has probably accidentally called you mom once (we don’t talk about that)

- you guys have sleepovers

- it’s actually so cute, whenever you’re set to come to his house he gets so excited

- like he’s so hyper the whole day of the sleepover

- his mother is not to disturb

- you improvise stories about clyde frog for him all night, setting up a theater with the plushie in hand

- now presenting: eric and clyde frog go to space

- .. -or the wild west, taking over the world, etc.

- he always opens up to you so much at these sleepovers

- like just fully starts telling you about how hard he has it without a dad

- has cried in your arms multiple times (we don’t talk about that)

- you were so there during the stick of truth

- you’re like an alchemist or a red mage (or a combination, if they’ll allow that)

- this is how you formally meet the other boys

- they like you, even though they didn’t really talk with you too much

- i think it’s pretty obvious to everyone eric is a jealous person, so he wouldn’t like sharing your attention much (hence you not really talking to the other boys)

- if you ever need to go away for an extended amount of time he will freak

- tries to manipulate you into staying like how he did his mom in the real estate episode

- also you better hope he’s the only kid you’re babysitting

- oh boy if he finds out you’re babysitting, like, butters or something he would throw a fit

- i swear

- so in conclusion you have gained 10 extra bucks an hour and a child making you hang out with him 24/7

- you guys have a sweet relationship

#south park #sp eric #eric cartman #sp cartman #south park x reader #eric cartman x reader #eric cartman x you #south park fanfiction #eric cartman fanfiction #qtkat writes

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jewbeloved · 8 months

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Some places aren't what they just seem to be...🩸🩸♥️

Note: Have this horror fanfic as my way of bringing back my spicy fanfics. I'm kinda losing motivation and I have hell (school) on my tail .⁠·⁠´⁠¯⁠`⁠(⁠>⁠▂⁠<⁠)⁠´⁠¯⁠`⁠·⁠.

Warnings: Murder, bl00D and Knives....mentions of drugs (in the beginning).

Gender: Neutral

💙💚 The Main Four 🧡❤️

You were dropped off to a nearby orphanage by the police after both of your parents passed away due to drug overdose.

The orphanage looked very fancy and aesthetic from the exterior. You wondered what the inside of the building looked like.

When you walked into the building, you were met with a lot of children your age running around, chatting with each other, playing games together, and playing tricks on each other.

You noticed one of the maids walked up to you with a bright smile on her face.

"Hello there dear, are you by any chance the new orphan that we were getting today?". You looked up at her with a blank expression.

"Uhm...yeah, that's me...".

"Well it's lovely to meet you, I can ensure you that you will love it here at the orphanage! What is your name, little one?".

"(Name) (Last Name)".

"(Name)....what a beautiful name! come, let me give you a tour around the orphanage since it's your first time here".

The kind maid showed you every room and area that was around the orphanage. They had a dining hall where the orphans could get their food, they had showers so the orphans could take a bath, they had a library for any orphans who were interested in books.

They even had dorms for where the orphans could sleep and rest up their energy.

You were surprised to hear that there were 40 orphans and 5 maids at this orphanage.

Once the tour was over, the maid gave you comfortable clothes to wear for the day and allowed you to go talk with the other kids.

You spotted 4 boys chatting with each other. One of them seemed to be arguing with the chubby one while the other 2 just watched.

The kid with the orange parka was the first one to noticed you and he waved at you before his other friend in the blue and red beanie looked at you as well.

"Hey, aren't you the new kid?" The kid in the blue and red beanie asked you.

"Yeah, that's me..who are you guys?". You looked at them puzzled.

"Right names, I'm Stan Marsh and this one next to me is Kenny Mccormick...the one in the green ushanka is Kyle Broflovski. And the fatass is Eric Cartman". Cartman immediately looked away from Kyle and at Stan in anger.

"IM NOT FAT YOU GODDAMN EMO HIPPIE!!". Stan rolled his eyes at Cartman's anger towards him while you just stared at the boys with a "•_•" face.

"Alright then...my name is (Name) (Last Name)". They all gave you a thumbs up while Cartman was still pissed off and crossing his arms.

"Mhppmhhhhmmphhhmmmhh". You looked at Kenny with a confused face since you didn't understand what he said.

"Um, what was that Kenny? I'm afraid I don't follow on what you said".

"He said: 'Do you want to hang out with us?'". Stan translated for Kenny.

"Oh...sure!". Your face began to lighten up as you assume this orphanage wouldn't be as bad as the rumors say.

What rumors? No need to worry! those are just said by silly people....this orphanage is perfectly okay!

You ended up spending time with the boys during the "daily activities" the maids gave out for all of the orphans to do and have fun.

You got to know the boys better and they got to know you better as well. You didn't understand why the other kids would call them "problematic". They say that the boys would swear at each other or other orphans, always talking to each other during quiet time, and getting into some fights (Kyle and Cartman).

But you didn't see them do any of those things because they have been so nice and chill around you, but if many orphans were saying it. You didn't care anyways since you were glad you had at least some company instead of going the whole day being awkward while living in a orphanage full of 40 kids in total. (THATS A LOT).

When dinner time came, the maids had all of you dress up in special uniforms for the occasion.

You were confused on why you have to dress in uniforms to eat some food, but you couldn't complain until you see how the food they serve here tastes.

You got in line while holding your trey, the orange-haired maid placed (your favorite food) onto your trey while giving you a glass of milk with it.

Milk at dinner?? I expected to at least get some juice or (your favorite drink).... You thought inside your mind as you left the line to find a table to sit at to eat.

Kyle motioned for you to come over and sit with him and his friends. You sat down at their table and noticed that they all had a glass of milk on their trey as well.

You then looked around to see a few other kids (6 of them) have a glass of milk on their treys too while the rest didn't... was this normal?

"Hey....uhm...do they serve anything else besides milk? or are they just out of stock?". You asked the boys as you pointed to your milk.

"Well, they normally do now because that's all everyone really wants now. You'll get used to it eventually (Name)". Stan said as him, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny began eating their food.

You eyed your food and milk while glancing up at them back and forth. You signed and began eating your food as well while ignoring your milk for a while.

You heard a little cough from the boys and the other 6 kids when they drank their glass of milk.

You immediately looked up at your friends. "Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny? are you guys alright?".

They were silence for a couple of secs before they snap back into reality. "Yeah, we're fine it's no big deal really".

You looked at them confused and eyed your own glass of milk, you picked it up and looked closer at it until you..saw that it was...

Spoiled...

Your eyes widened. "Guys! you just drank spoiled milk!". You panicked as they gave you a concern look.

"What are you talking about (Name)? the milk wasn't spoiled it was fresh, did you hit your head or did Kahl jewness aura hurt-". Kyle pushed Cartman out of his chair with him letting out a "OW!".

"But but-! I just looked at my milk and it was spoiled!". You tried to defend yourself you didn't understand why they were being so calm about this as if it was a normal routine.

Before you could say something else to them, the maids have announced that all orphans should go to their dorms to get ready for the night.

"Oh Jesus finally! I get some goddamn fucking rest after so many hours!".

"Shut up fatboy! you barley participated in anything since this morning!". Kyle and Cartman began arguing back and forth with each other as you watched your 4 friends walk out of the dinning hall.

You signed as you got up from your seat and followed everyone else to the dorm area. All of the other dorms were occupied except for the room that had only one bed in it..it looked a little ragged but it was still comfortable to sleep on, it even had a small candle on the nightstand to light up the room.

You took off your uniform and began to change into some nice warm clothes to sleep at night.

"Oh well, I hope nothing weird will happen at night...". You locked the door and climbed into your bed before falling asleep.

After 2 hours, you woke up to some growling noises. You were half asleep as you rubbed your eyes wondering what that noise was. You shrugged it off since you were lucky your room door was locked anyways.

When you tried to go to asleep, you heard a loud scream that sounded like one of the orphans. You immediately jumped out of your bed at the sight of the scream wondering what was going on outside of your dorm.

You picked up the candle that was on your nightstand and held it close to your face, not close to enough to burn you.

What was that scream just now? It sounded more like a scream of horror....

After 3 mins you heard another loud scream and then another following after that one. You were getting nervous and you wanted to know what the hell was going on...if you remembered, people always said the rumors about this orphanage are what happened at night...

You were snapped out of your thinking as you heard some kids banging on your door letting to be in as they cried for help. Your body was shaking a little at their cries.

"PLEASE OPEN THE DOOR!" "HELP US, THERE ARE COMPLETE PSYCHOS OUT HERE KILLING US! THERE'S 10 OF THEM, PLEASE OPEN THE DOOR!". The crying kids continued to beg and bang on your door.

The crying and yelling was soon replaced by stabbing noises and more loud screams. You saw something red splattered onto the glass window of your door...is that...

Blood...?

You were now having second thoughts about opening the door since you were sure that some killer must be inside of the orphanage now...why weren't the maids doing anything at all???

This continued until 27 screams were heard and then the alarm began to go off. Your door was unlocked automatically when the alarms went off.

You heard a maid telling the orphans to run to something they call "bunker". Everyone ran straight to the bunkers immediately.

You ran out of your room as well trying to follow the remaining orphans to safety. As you were almost out of the hall, somebody grabbed your hand while placing a knife near your neck.

You were flabbergasted and turned around to see your attacker, it was one of the orphans except their entire body was twitching like crazy as if they were possessed.

They had a evil smile on their face as they saw the fear in you. Another orphan with a knife in their hand was in front of you, their whole body was twitching like crazy as well.

You were confused, scared, and shocked. You had no need what was going on and why there was suddenly some orphans going completely nuts and killing everyone.

You looked at the psycho in front of you and saw something white dripping from their mouth.

Was that...milk?

Your eyes widened even more as you remember the time you heard coughing from Kyle, Stan, Cartman, and Kenny when they drank the milk after you discovered it was spoiled.

You were sure that the spoiled milk could've given them a bad stomachache, but it seems like it did something else other than that.

You didn't have anymore time to think as the 2 psychos were ready to stab you dead.

That was instantly stopped when you saw they were pulled back and dragged away at the same time.

2 screams and blood splattering were heard at the same time meaning it must've came from the 2 psychos who were trying to kill you. But how? that happened so fast in a short amount of time....

Thankfully you still had your candle and you shined it around until you saw 4 boys which looked exactly like the ones you befriended when you first came to this orphanage...

"Stan..? Kyle...? Cartman...? Kenny...?". You were shaking uncontrollable in fear because so much has happened since nightfall came...

Their bodies were twitching crazily as well. You wanted answers and you wanted them now..

"What is going on here?! why are all 4 of you holding knives and drenched in blood?! I want answers please!!". The boys stayed silent as they look at each other.

"Guys should we really tell them?". Stan asked as Kyle and Kenny nodded except for Cartman who shaked his head.

"No way, they'll just fucking rat us out!". You had a confused mixed with anger expression on your face as you looked at them.

"What are you guys talking about?! Everything seemed normal and happy when I first came here, but now things started to get weird at the diner hall where we were only given "milk" and that weirdness lead to all of this bloodshed at night! You guys know what's happening in this orphanage and I want answers!". You were on the verge of tears while your anger was still showing.

Stan signed and decided to speak up.

"Basically....this orphanage is about survival...we can't blame you for acting this way. The spoiled milk the maids served us is the calayist leading to all of this bloodshed".

"What do you mean? how can spoiled milk be the cause of this?? isn't it supposed to give you a bad stomachache because when things are spoiled it means they usually god bad!".

"That's usually what spoiled things would do, but this milk doesn't work that way. All of our visions went red when drank the milk after we finished coughing".

"You guys make it seem like this is a normal routine!!".

"Duh, because it is. once you drink the spoiled milk the maids give you, you become a threat to other orphans who didn't drink the milk".

"Goddamnit Cartman, can't you be nice to people for once?!". Kyle yelled at Cartman rolled his eyes.

"Sorry, but the word "nice" doesn't work in my dictionary for jews".

You didn't even noticed that sun had already raised up and all of the blood that was around the place was gone and the boys were no longer twitching or had a knife in their hands.

"No...no....this has to be a dream...it has to be...". You sulked down on the floor next to the wall while your hands were wrapped around your legs.

"The rumors about this orphanage...were true after all...but why isn't this reported to the police....? don't tell me the walls of this sick place is soundproofed!". You couldn't hold back your tears as they streamed down your cheek.

Stan and Kyle sat down next to you and wrapped you in their arms as Kenny pulled down his hood to speak.

"Yeah, you could say that the walls are soundproofed and more orphans are coming here every week or so. we pretty much can't leave since this orphanage is in a forest".

"So I can't leave then...I have to spend the rest of my life in this haunted place....". You cried even more.

You then felt 4 other arms wrap around you.

"It's okay (Name), even if we can't leave you won't share this pain alone because we will be there to protect you from the other orphans".

"But that sounds like the only way we can leave is if we die!".

"At least we will die together instead of dying alone..".💙💚🧡❤️🩸🩸💖💖

I have been way to hook up in watching ONE PIECE and checking out WELCOME HOME I haven't had any time to write anything on my blog or my hellpark blog as well. I deeply apologize for my lack of posts everyone, multitasking yourself can become stressful at some point....

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labratatouille · 4 months

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History Professor Kyle Broflovski headcanons because my hyperfixation is hyperfixating:

⋆ known to drink red wine from a teapot, Stan will occasionally join him for this reason alone.

⋆ hands covered in rushed ink scribbles 24/7, he’s his own diary.

⋆ to the surprise of basically everybody who has ever witnessed his academic grind-set, unless he is incredibly swamped by work his office remains pretty tidy.

⋆ known to fall asleep at his desk.

⋆ treats lectures like performances, his students thank him for it.

⋆ one time Cartman as a joke edited Kyle’s lecture PowerPoint (with a back-up obviously) to include some incredibly rude images. To his surprise Kyle made direct eye contact with him, sipped his coffee, and ran with it. Nobody suspected a thing.

⋆ he has doctors handwriting, it is illegible, he is not sorry. He also doesn’t believe Stan when he gently lets him know that it is unreadable chicken scratch.

⋆ calls his students nerds, he finds it justified because at least he gets paid to be one.

⋆ while discussing deep and academic historic topics he will not hesitate to swear or use slang, he can and will debate for hours on why he thinks this is fair.

⋆ while his office is tidy, there is certainly an abundance of books. everywhere. every surface, even the floor. bro has his own personal library.

⋆ will buy himself flowers to make his office a bit more cheery, once had a two hour debate with Cartman after buying himself tulips – Cartman is far too into Victorian Flower Language and assumed Kyle had got himself into a secret relationship with this as his pedantic way of announcing it. In character tho honestly–

⋆ refuses to sell textbooks after using them, Kyle and his old textbooks have a parasocial relationship. He annotates them excessively with little doodles and everything.

⋆ actually isn’t super into literature, he was shocked at finding out how into reading Kenny was and is super open to all of the blond’s recommendations. Kenny is the only reason he regularly reads non-fiction books.

⋆ hates the overused Indiana Jones jokes but will not hesitate to make them himself, especially towards Kenny (the walking stereotype of a thrill-seeking treasure hunter)

⋆ odd socks. this man will be wearing the most formal attire ever, refined to the smallest details, then people realise him wearing like one pink sock and one checkered blue sock and be like “ohhhhh screw this guy”

⋆ known for his quick wit and sarcastic comments, always keeping his students on their toes and paying attention to every word he says. When talking to the guys he says that it’s just a tactic to get them to focus, really he just secretly loves being that bitch.

If you’re interested so far then feel free to go check out a fic with this Kyle as one of the main characters on AO3 called Knights Of The Cardinal Compass, a fic where the m4 are all history nerds and go on an adventure looking for the all powerful medieval artefact known as the crusaders compass across continents and far too many cities

AO3: lab_ratatouille

Thank you!! Might be back with a part 2 because this man is special to me <3

#south park #sp kyle #sp style #kyle broflovski #dark academia #it’s a fanfic #headcanons #kyle broflovski headcanons #Kyle broflovski as a history teacher

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welcome-to-hyrulepark · 3 days

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More drawings from my little red book 📚

Post calamity Aryll, who's waiting for her leg prosthesis

Daron, the father figure of Impa and Purah

Unmasked Kohga

The following pictures may contain potential minor spoilers, but I'm not sure if all of this will be in the final version of the comic.

Kenny McCormick in season 3

Cartman solved the problem with this crazy flower lady very easily

Tweek with Mipha's grace and Clyde with Daruk's protection

Craig with Revali's gale and Tolkien with Urbosa's fury

New demigod forms of Zelda and Link, based on the light dragon and ancient hero's aspect.

And Kevin as Shigeo Kageyama from Mob Psycho 100, aka the icon of phonk😈

By the way, Hyrule Park has its own channel on my Discord server. I post here some of my ideas for the comic and discuss them with others.

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clydiepie · 1 year

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can I request some hcs of clyde with a reader who loves to draw him? they always doodle him in their sketchbook, in the corner of their notes, etc etc. ty!

Clyde x reader who likes to draw!

Thank you so much to everyone that has sent me requests! I will try to do them as fast as I can! I really liked this one (y'all know I love my Clyde) so I hope you like it! I used she/her pronouns since you didn't specify I hope that's okay!

Clyde Donovan x reader who liked to draw (pre-existing relationship)

She/her pronouns

baby boy clyde<3

fluffy!

cw: none!

Clyde knew you loved to draw

Whenever the two of you were together you normally had your sketchbook in hand

You were always pretty private about what you drew and you never wanted him to see, even though he was so curious

Even in class you constantly doodle on the pages of your notebook not really paying a lot of attention.

Cylde would notice you constantly stealing glances at him during the lecture but he thought it was nothing

At lunch, you sat with Clyde and his friends Craig and Tweek

"Hey babe you seemed a little distracted during class, so I got Kyle to send me a copy of his notes for you." Clyde smiled shoving a forkful of food in his mouth and chewing contently

You blushed remembering what had captured your attention during class

"Oh you didn't have to do that, I appreciate it though" You smile scooting closer to him at the lunch table

Clyde just hummed in contentment as he wrapped a strong arm around your waist

After your last class was done you met Clyde by your locker where he always waited for you

You gathered your things and Clyde wrapped his arm around your shoulder as you both walked toward the front doors

But just before you could reach the door Butters came running around the corner and knocked your books out of your hands making papers fly everywhere.

Butters starts to profusely apologize rambling on about how Cartman needed him quickly for some scheme

You tell him it's no worries as you bend over to collect your things

You look down at the ground to see Clyde has already started to gather the papers that had flown every which way

You see his face turn a dark shade of red as he examines a particular piece of paper. the one you just so happened to be doodling on in class

He looks up at your embarrassed face and asks "Is this me?"

"Ha um yeah.." you explain shyly as you rub the back of your neck

He calmly stands up and folds the paper into a square and sticks it in his pocket

Before you can ask what he was doing he spoke up again

"I'm keeping this, I hope you don't mind." he smiles and hands you all the other paper he gathered

"You don't think it's weird." you laugh

"Not at all, I think it's cute you're obsessed with me." He smirks putting his hands on your waist and drawing you in close

"Don't let this go to your head." you giggle

"Too late." he mumbles before pulling you in for a kiss

I also think after his he would want to look at your art all the time

Like all of it even the stuff not about him or stuff you think is "bad"

He is without a doubt your number 1 fan for sure

I can imagine him standing in a Micheals craft sore for an hour trying to pick out a good gift for you

"Fine tip? what does that even mean?" he would mumble to himself

He also defiantly brags to all his friends about your talent

"Guys Y/N drew this sketch yesterday, isn't she so talented?' he would gush

He is definitely the type to go behind your back and swipe some pieces to put in his locker

In between classes, he liked a little reminder of you to look at (but when you found out he had stolen your art you defiantly let him have it)

One day he was at his locker with the boys and Cartman had dared to make a comment about the goofy sketch you had made for fun taped up in Clyde's locker

"Dude, what is that?" Cartman laughed pointing at the picture

"Y/N drew that for me so shut the fuck me." Clyde barked

On your anniversary Clyde tried his hardest to draw something nice for you, he tried to draw the two of you together on your first date.

"Oh it's so cute...what is it?" you sheepishly laughed

"It's us! can't you tell?" he huffed, his face as red as his coat

"Ohhhh I see it now." you smile at him, taking his hand in yours

After that, he vowed to take an art class next year so maybe one day he could draw you something not so shitty

If any of your art was ever displayed anywhere Clyde would hype you up to no end

"My girlfriend is so talented." he beamed at you with pride looking at a piece you made hung up

"Clyde it's just on your fridge." you laughed

"Hey, that's a place of honor babe."

------------

I hope you liked that! I kinda got carried away but I just liked his prompt so much!!! Have a great day!!!

-M<3

#south park x reader #south park x y/n #south park clyde #clyde donovan x reader #clyde donovan

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desolateddreamur · 1 year

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Following Your Advice

Kyle x Mute!Phone addict!reader

Story: (Phone Destroyer timeline) Kyle encourages you to take a break from your phone so you offer to have lunch together.

Gender neutral reader!

Requested? No!

TW: None! Literally so wholesome

Note: please like or reblog I spent four hours trying to figure out how to format the texting identical to Phone Destroyers on my phone through Ibis after I broke my fucking tablet, please I beg of you.

•

Your phone rang softly, carrying the small jingle you used to associate with Kyle. In an instant you double-tapped the notification that was pulled down by the call. The game was far less important than calling or texting the Jewish boy you craved the love of. The one you'd do anything for.

You clicked accept on the FaceTime.

"Hey! Y/n, it's me. Listen!"

Beads of sweat- a result of the wild adventure he was just on, stuck to his forehead, causing stray strands of red curls to cling to his freckled skin. His eyes were frantically checking around for anyone listening and held an abundance concern. You cock your head to the side, giving a curt hum to tell him to talk.

While you did lack a voice, you were never jealous of his. It was far too beautiful to envy in your eyes.

"Don't you see what's going on here? You're being used!"

He gestures wildly with an empty gloved hand, making you want to be there to grab it and hold it in your own. Nonetheless, you encourage him to go on.

"Just... maybe you shouldn't be on your phone as much, you know?"

He pauses, thinking over some examples.

"Like, go have lunch with somebody, or..." Kyle rubs the nape of his neck, "Or I dunno, read a book."

He gave a sigh, finally jumping to the point and no longer beating around the bush. "Playing this stupid game is going to end up really bad for the..."

"Kyle, who are you talking to?" Cartman calls over from off camera, interrupting him.

Kyle inhaled sharply, "Nobody!" He yelled over, hanging up quickly.

You were left to process what had just gone down. You? Get a break from your phone? Your communicator?

You go open the green icon labeled as Message, clicking his profile. If anyone else asked you probably would've sent enough insults to fill a thesis to them. But it was Kyle; you just couldn't bring yourself to. He was the only one that bothered to learn sign language to talk to you.

Knowing he couldn't call back with Cartman there, you sent a text.

You sped to your closet and threw on some random cute outfit. Throwing on your shoes, you grabbed the letterman bag that held most of your items and shot out the front door. Excitement glimmered in your eyes as they kept watch of your phone screen.

Currently, you were looking over Pinterest on what you could make at his place for a cute indoor lunch date.

Placing your phone into your bag, you climb his front steps and quickly fix up your h/l hair from your run. When you knocked, some clambering was heard and you winced when something fell with a thick thud.

The door opened to show a frazzled Kyle, hat halfway on his head and a dopey grin on his face.

"C'mon on in, Y/n! I just setup the living room. I hope I didn't go too over the top?"

He steps aside and you walk in. With his living room right at the front door, you smiled widely. He had moved the coffee table to the side and set up a picnic blanket in front of the TV, a little assortment of electric candles on a flat board in the middle. The TV itself was playing some footage of a beach (Bonus being he had surround sound).

You set your bag down on the blanket and pulled Kyle into a tight hug by the hips. He tensed before setting his arms around your neck. Letting go and leaning back with his support, you began to sign to him.

'Did you really do all this for us?'

He let go as well and took your hand, guiding you to the kitchen as he spoke.

"Well.. Yeah. I mean- you're getting off your phone to spend time with me... And you never to that for anyone!"

He lets go and helps you gather up ingredients. When he turns to see if you signed a response, he froze. You were awfully close to his face with your own. A dreamy look hung in your half-lidded eyes before he got the memo and moved on his own.

One hand slipped behind your head and the other to your waist. Your own moved to loop around his neck as your chests press together, increasing your closeness.

You finally pushed forward the rest of the way, pressing him into a short kiss. You pulled away before he could kiss back and moved your hands to sign to him,

'You taste like peppermint'

His face flushed all the way to his ears and he laughed, "Well, you taste like watermelon! Can I... Can I have another?"

You deadpan, looking into his green eyes before pulling back into another kiss.

There was no lunch date after this happened. You both ended up ordered some takeout and spent the time kissing over and over in his kitchen.

#south park x y/n #southpark #southparkxreader #south park x you #south park x reader #kyle #kyle broflovski

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okchijt · 21 days

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Author's Note: Thank you so much Anon for the request! Sorry the request is a screenshot, I accidentally posted it cause of the stupid mobile update 😒 But anyway, this is such a cute idea! I'll be more than happy to do it for the little monster 😍 Just hope I didn't make him that OOC hopefully ^^' And lastly, go ahead and check out my masterlist if you like what you just read and if you want to request anything yourself, thank you, and enjoy! 🩷

His Little Stealer - Eric Cartman x Chubby!Reader Headcanons

🔴 The fact that you're close to his weight by being chubby makes Cartman unironically love you more. Being the only overweight kid who regularly gets picked on for it is still hurtful no matter how hard he tries to play it off or fight back. So having someone he can relate to with a similar body type is a plus in his book.

🔴 Also, just as Cartman always defends himself by saying: ''I'm not fat! I'm just big-boned!''. He would do the same thing for you and even throw hands if anyone ripped on you for being chubby. But to his surprise no one does so, why? Because you're an actual decent human being, others don't hate you and don't make fun of you. But if you act like Cartman then I take it all back.

🔴 But let's be real for a second, we all know Cartman sucks and he doesn't have the best track record when it comes to any relationship whatsoever. But as his partner I see him letting you get away with stuff he won't let others, and by that I mean everything. He'll let you do and say whatever you want and he'll bite down on his tongue just so that he doesn't accidentally say something wrong. Cartman is a horrible human being but for you? He'll try and become aware of how he should treat you right.

🔴 Back to the wholesome headcanons! I already said it, but I wanna add a little bit more to the idea. Cartman loves your chub, okay? He won't say it out loud ever though, not to you or in front of his ''friends'' cause he thinks it's embarrassing, but he'll make sure you know it with actions alone. Not only will he let you touch him without protesting, but he'll cuddle you too! You'll either be lying in bed together or on the couch with his arms wrapped around you as he grabs and fondles your excessive skin gently. It's just so soft and squishy, how can he not like it and hold it like his favorite plushy!? He'll act like he doesn't even know what you're talking about if you say anything about it, you'll know he loves doing it though cause he'll always be blushing red as he death glares the TV in embarrassment. One way to quickly gain back Cartman's attention though is by hand-feeding him Cheesy Poofs or anything really. His face will be redder than before and he still won't talk but he'll definitely pull you closer to him as he grumbles under his breath about how: ''weak'' this is. He actually means the opposite, trust me.

🔴 If you're someone that's insecure about their weight, Cartman totally gets it, he won't say it of course but he does. He'll make sure no one ever says a word about your weight by threatening them and depending on the person it might work. Of course no one regardless would ever say anything, but Cartman doesn't trust them so he still goes out of his way to do so. Also, if you decide to stop eating because of it, he will not let that slide one bit. He'll force you to eat himself and he won't take ''no'' for an answer unless you tell him that you're just dieting and being safe with it, then he'll begrudgingly respect it.

🔴 Now onto the stealing part, he both loves it and hates it. He thinks it's cute how his hat blocks all of your vision and his coat just kind of hangs on you, covering you entirely. It's almost enough to make him let out an audible ''awww'', almost. But at the same time, you're stealing his stuff! Now he's freezing his tits off as you embarrass him in front of his ''friends''! If you were anyone else he'd scream at you, but you're his partner so all he does is whine and cling to you as he tries to force you to give him his clothes back.

🔴 They ain't many opportunities for you to steal his hat and coat though, either grab it and run when he isn't wearing it or beg for it. You can only have an opportunity of stealing it when he's playing with his "friends" and he's being The Grand Wizard or The Coon. He'll immediately figure it out once he's done playing for the day and seeing his clothes go missing so prepare to witness an angry Cartman storming into your home demanding his stuff back only for you to make him stop in his tracks out of cuteness overload when seeing you wear his clothes.

🔴 Then there's begging, it can go either way actually. You can only win this by bribing him, doing something for him, getting him something he wants, or helping him accomplish something. Of course, knowing Cartman all of those things I've mentioned are 99% of the time requests to hurt the others around him and only satisfy him. Just because he loves you, doesn't mean he won't involve you in his schemes every now and then, it's like he wants to be partners in crime with you. Hoping that you're a decent person you obviously don't agree with any of it, so it leaves you no choice but to beg. Some puppy eyes with a promise of cuddling with snacks as you watch TV make him succumb almost instantly. He'll be all grumpy about it but he secretly loves it.

🔴 Overall, Cartman isn't vocal about how he feels about your weight in fear that he won't admit to that he'll accidentally hurt your feelings. Like I said he's trying to be better for you so he prefers to show how he feels with actions. He loves your body, he relates to you, and won't change a thing about you because you make him feel secure with his own weight despite what everybody else says. And again, with the stealing thing, it's a love-hate relationship for sure. Cartman doesn't like his stuff getting touched, let alone stolen so he does get annoyed at you for it, but then again it's you that does it so he can forgive it. Plus there's no denying he finds you absolutely adorable with his clothes on, the blush on his cheeks, the halt in his movement and the odd silence says it all!

#x reader #headcanons #gender neutral reader #x gender neutral reader #eric cartman #south park #south park x reader #eric cartman x reader #eric cartman x gender neutral reader #south park eric cartman #chubby reader #chubby gender neutral reader

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thebad---catholic · 11 months

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I adore every single comment I get on every one of my fics (even the occasional hate comment i still wanna kiss them) but just to let everyone know this is canon to the fic whinwodnwodnwodnwidn

#kyman #south park kyman #eric cartman #kyle broflovski #kyman fanfiction #south park #cartmans little red book #south park kenny #kenny mccormick

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ionaciao · 1 year

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i’ve read the latest chapter of cartman’s lrb 6 times already

#she’s insane #she’s obsessed #i cant get over this chapter FUCK #cartman’s little red book #kyman

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haunted-plush · 10 months

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NOTICE TO THE SOUTH PARK/KYMAN FANDOM

The author of Cartman's little red book + me and my husband has been a TERRIBLE person on twitter, they support cp and sexualize parent/child sexual abuse...

Do what you will with this information, just letting the tumblr side know what's going on.

#south park #kyman

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fucksurass · 3 months

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DEAD? Park!

Pt.3

Stan: Kenny...? You um-

Stan: Yesterday you were all... Weird? Now youre um.... Not..

Kyle: What hes trying to say is, What the hell happened after school yesterday because you actually look... Okay.

Stan: Yeah you dont look like a mess like after Pocket got here. You left insane and came back chillin. What happened?

Kenny: You mean apart from fucking Cartmans mom?

Cartman: WHAT KENNY- YOU- I HOPE YOU FALL ON YOUR POOR UGLY ASS-

Kenny: Im kidding! I read porn and imagined fucking her!

Cartman: THAT DOESNT MAKE IT ANY BETTER YOU DIRTY-

Kenny: And I said to myself, Im going crazy! No one died! Im just a little messed up right now because of stress! So I whipped out my weiner and started jacking it.

Cartman: Dear god, can Kenny please fall off his chair and bust his ass.

Kyle: Awe Kenny come on!!

Stan: Not what I wanted to hear today.

Kenny: What? At least im not acting crazy anymore. Id say this is normal.

Stan: ....

Cartman: ....

Kyle: ....

Kyle Cartman and Stan: Yeah hes got a point. Id believe it. Regular Kenny.

Kenny: Oh and those books arent gonna help you at all Stany boi. I suggest giving it up.

Stan: Come on dude... Let a man dream...

Kenny: Wendys probably a lesbian dude.

Kyle: Yeah she probably totally definitely is.

Stan: What...?

Kyle: Yeah... You should go for someone el-

Cartman: Faggot.

Kyle: Shut the fuck up Cartman!

Stan: Yeah! Wendys not a faggot! Im sure she'll come back. She always does...

Cartman: That went over your whole head, Stan.

Stan: What went over my head?

Kyle and Cartman: *face palm*

Mr. Garrison: Okay class.... Sadly and Unfortunately for me... Theres another.. New student-

Kenny: WAH thud! OW!!

Cartman: BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA THANK YOU GOD

Ze Mole: Fuck god!

Kenny: Stop laug- ....Mole..?

Garrison: You know him?

Stan: All four of us do! Hey man!

Garrison: Thats cool. Anyway say hello to Christofeet- Chris- Christophne something or other or- Just call him Ze Mole.

Ze Mole: I have returned on behalf of Gregory. I wanted to ask if La Resistance lived on after I- er left... For.. War?

Pip: Hello Mole!

Ze Mole: Ah... You are here..

Cartman: Yeah we all hate Pip too dont worry.

Ze Mole: Sure.

Stan: Kenny? Oh not again... I swear..

Kyle: What- Oh...

Mr. Garrison: Can we please sit down? Im still teaching. Who else in here is gay?

Cartman: STAN AND KAH- OW KAHL WHAT THE FUCK

Ze Mole: ...Why are you looking at me like zat Kenny? Stop.

Pip: In a matter of seconds, dear Mole, Kenny well have assumed your death.

Ze Mole: How-

Kenny: Okay I am seriously fucking positive we WATCHED that guy die!

Stan: Come on Kenny! You were doing great!

Kyle: You almost had it then you blew it!

Kenny: We watched it happen guys! Cartman didnt turn off the alarm and he got attacked by guard dogs-

Ze Mole: I hate guard dogs... What a terrible way to die! Do not wish zat on me!!

*CLANG*

Cartman: Haha! Sick!

Stan: Oh my god! Ze Mole killed Kenny!

Kyle: You french bastard!

Mr. Garrison: Please be careful with that thi-

Ze Mole: Was my mozer careful when she shot me in my leg while I vas still in ze womb?!

Mr. Garrison: ...I guess not.

Craig: Dude sit down! You killed Kenny!

Red: Whos Kenny-

Ze Mole: Do not worry.

Ze Mole: Though he dies, La Resistance lives on.

Cartman: Nobody gives a crap about Las resilience! Lets all just wait for the rats to consume Kennys body so we can continue naming all the fags in the classroom.

Mr. Garrison: Lets all listen to the fat kid.

Clyde: Guys im not a faggot...

Pt. 2

Pt. 4

#south park #artists on tumblr #digital art #art #DEAD? Park!#ze mole #sp pip #pocket south park #south park stan #sp kyle #south park cartman #kenny sp #red south park #craig south park #gregory sp #mr. garrison #au #south park au

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morgandoesstuffsig · 11 months

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" VACATION " a south park x reader

RINKY-DINK TOWN || info. - past : next

|| GOOD MORNING, BELOVED! ||

You did not want to come to some rackety, old, boring, snowing, cold, shabby, stupid-ass fucking town for your summer break. Be honest, who would?

Maybe you'll change your mind later on, but right now, this has got to be the stupidest shit you've ever gone through, and that's something, especially when it comes to you.

|| YOUR CHARACTER CARD ||

Name: [Y/N] NIAKI

Age: 16

Pronouns: They/Them

Sexuality: Pansexual, general attraction to anyone regardless of gender. || asexual, no sexual attraction to anyone at all.

Height: 5'11

Personality: Blunt, tired, easily irritated, quiet, occasionally playful, rarely flirtatious.

Current Thoughts: 'Even if I only have to be in this boring and cold place that can barely be called a town for only two months, there's nothing anyone here or anywhere who can convince me to stay the moment I get the chance to leave.'

|| LOVE INTERESTS ||

MAIN CAST

ROMEOS:

Kyle Brovloski

Craig Tucker & Tweek Tweak

Clyde Donovan

Tolkien Black

Kenny McCormick

Stan Marsh

Leopold "Butters" Stotch

Jimmy Valmer

Scott Malkinson

Pip Pirrup

Damien Thorn

Dovahkkiin "Douchebag, The New Kid"

JULIETS:

Wendy Testaburger

Heidi Turner

Bebe Stevens

Red McArthur

Nichole Daniels

Annie Knitts

|| WARNINGS AND TWS ||

Welcome to South Park, my beloved! This story is going to contain mentions of:

LOTS OF SWEARING

GORE AND BLOOD

SUICIDE

SELF HARM

MENTIONS OF POVERITY

ALCOHOL

MAJOR CRIMES

MENTIONS OF SEXUAL ACTIVITES

AGED UP CHARACTERS (YOU ARE ALL STILL MINORS)

BULLYING (ONLINE AND IRL)

HARRASSMENT (ONLINE AND IRL)

VIOLENCE

DARK JOKES N SHIT

CARTMAN PULLING CARTMAN-TYPE SHIT

AND OTHER SHIT YOU'D EXPECT FROM SOUTH PARK.

CONTINUE WITH CAUTION.

|| SECRETS FROM THE AUTHOR ||

Hey there, []! This book has no outline so far and I'm honestly throwing bullshit that I make up at three in the morning at this right now. There's going to be really slow updates. Enough about that though, time for some secrets!!

1. Yep, instead of the overused 'I just moved here, yadda yadda' scenario, you have actually only came here for summer vacation!

2. You were forced to get out of your house by your parents and they set up this whole trip thing without telling you until a week before departing.

3. Your parents didn't have half the mind to tell you that you'd also be living there alone for two fucking months, some parents am I right?

4. Luckily, they did already have your stuff packed and had the house rented out and everything else. You're a freeloader! Yay!

5. Oh yeah also, you're rich. Just because. Use that black card, spend all your money, ain't nobody there to stop you!!

6. Nobody in South Park knows of your soon-to-be arrival.

7. There is no school because, you know, summer vacation. This means a lot more free time to get roped into some crazy and immoral shit laze around.

8. Cartman's going to be a little shit about your pronouns, but he's going to be forced to use them because he has zero fucking clue what your gender is.

9. Speaking of fatass, he's not a love interest mainly because I can't write an asshole character suddenly falling love. I just can't. Makes me want to just evaporate.

10. You will get to at least befriend him though. Yay..?

|| SWEET DREAMS, DARLING. ||

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