ha ha anyway imagine if Estiniens fusion/being possessed by nidhogg left him with a lingering hunger for flesh and blood and who has super healing and lots of guilt + needs to be needed? wol. both thumbs up. messy literally and figuratively. estinien vampire real to me rn. i even have a rough draft --
midgardsormr stirs, blinking sleepily after estiniens fleeing form.
“child,” he addresses her, and she bites back the annoyed retort resting at the tip of her tongue because he sounds unusually grave. “listen well.”
and so she does, through mounting horror, as midgardsormr relays his knowledge of nidhoggs feeding habits, and what that might mean for estinien now.
–----
“deny me,” Estinien grits, furious with her because he already knows she won't.
“deny me and let me end it on my own terms.”
it wouldn't take long — his face is ashen and drawn, and he didnt even have the strength to stand when she finally found him, holed up in this shack as far north from the city as he could make it. if she concentrates she can physically see how his aether flickers, a flame on the edge of snuffing out.
but she knows how to fix it. what he needs. she has devoted her entire life to saving others, where does he think he gets to be the exception?
“I'm begging you. walk away from this wretched place and let my tale end.”
his voice quivers. she's never heard it sound like that before, reminiscent of the last desperate climb of a violin string pushed to breaking.
estinien calls her name as she rolls up her sleeve, sounding both fearful and relieved at once.
when the first drops of blood begin to bead at the cut he groans, low and deep like the earth before a quake.
the hatred in his gaze doesn't stop his body reaching for it, drawn to survival before all else. not for the first time estinien sits as a prisoner in his own body, shaking hands reaching toward the red wet much in the way a flower turns toward the sun; powerless to do anything but.
“live,” she whispers as fiercely as she can, suppressing a wince as his hands clamp down on her arm hard enough to bruise.
“not like this,” estinien counters even as he tips his head back, as his nostrils flare and his lips part in anticipation. “this is no mercy.”
doesn't she know it?
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Ok so I just found this story and was reading some of the posts and suddenly there are some posts talking about Brazil and Nordeste and boom: João Pessoa. AND NOW I'M HERE SCREAMING BECAUSE I'M FROM JOÃO PESSOA TOO!!!
Eu tô literalmente o meme dos miranhas se apontando ahahahah! Que loucura! Você já tinha me ganhado 100% com a sinopse da demo mas agora me ganhou 200% hahashsh mal posso esperar pela demo! :D
Brasileiros se encontrando no Tumblr ponto com
Não moro em João Pessoa, mas Nordeste aqui também 👋 de verdade, fiquei muito feliz encontrando mais gente do Brasil hoje. Acho muito bonitinho quando outros autores compartilham experiências pessoais (uma comida, uma cidade que visitaram, esse tipo de coisa) e acham leitores que também se identificam, mas ainda não tinha me acontecido...
Enfim, obrigada pelo comentário sobre a sinopse, não vejo a hora de lançar a demo!! <3
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i got rickrolled today but it didn't work because i have adblocker installed, so youtube just told me i violated the terms of service. yesterday i was trying to edit a picture as a joke for my girlfriend, and google made me check a box to prove i'm human because i wasn't "searching normally".
it isn't just that capitalism is killing fun and whimsy, it is that any element of entertainment or joy is being fed upon by this mosquito body, one that will suck you dry at any vulnerability.
do you want to meet new friends in your city? download this app, visit our website, sign up for our email list. pay for this class on making a terrarium, on candlemaking, on cooking. it will be 90 dollars a session. you can go to group fitness, but only under our specific gym membership. solve the puzzle, sign up for our puzzle-of-the-month-club. what is a club if not just a paid opportunity - you are all paying for the same thing, which makes you a community.
but you're like me, i know it - you're careful, you try the library meetings and the stuff at the local school and all of that. the problem is that you kind of want really specific opportunities that used to exist. you are so grateful for libraries and the publicly-funded things: they are, however, an exception - and everything they have, they've fought tooth-and-nail to protect. you read a headline about how in many other states, libraries have virtually nothing left.
do you want to meet up with your friends afterwards? gift your friends the discord app. you can choose to go to a cafe (buy a coffee, at least), a bar (money, alcohol) or you can all stay in and catch a movie (streaming) or you can all stay in bed (rent. don't get me started) and scream (noise complaint. ticket at least).
you want to read a new book, but the book has to have 124 buzzwords from tiktok readers that are, like, weirdly horny. you can purchase this audiobook on audible! your podcast isn't on spotify, it's on its own server, pay for a different site. fuck, at least you're supporting artists you like. the art museum just raised their ticket price. once, they had a temporary exhibit that acknowledged that ~85% of their permanent art galleries were from cis white men, and that they had thousands of works by women (even famous women, like frida! georgia o'keefe!) just rotting in their basement. that exhibit lasted for 3 months and then they put everything away again.
walmart proudly supports this strip of land by the street! here are some flowers with wilting leaves. its employees have to pay out-of-pocket for their uniforms. my friend once got fined by the city because she organized a community pick-up of the riverfront, which was technically private property.
no, you cannot afford to take that dance class, neither can i. by the way - i'm a teacher. i'm absolutely not saying "educators shouldn't be paid fairly." i'm saying that when i taught classes, renting a studio went from 20 bucks an hour to 180 in the span of 6 months. no significant changes to the studio were made, except they now list the place as updated and friendly. the heat still doesn't work in the building. i have literally never seen the landlord who ignores my emails. recently they've been renting it out at night as an "unusual nightclub; a once-in-a-lifetime close-knit party." they spent some of those 180 dollars on LEDs and called it renovating. the high heels they invite in have been ruining the marley.
do you want to experience the old internet? do you want to play flash games or get back the temporary joy of club penguin? you can, you just need to pay for it. i have a weird, neurodivergent obsession with occasionally checking in to watch the downfall and NFT-ification of neopets. if i'm honest with you all - i never got into webkins, my family didn't have the money to buy me a pointless elephant. people forget that "being poor" can mean literally "if i buy you that toy, i can't afford rent."
you and i don't have time to make good food, and we don't have the budget for it. we are not gonna be able to host dinner parties, we're not made of money, kid. do you want some kind of 3rd space? a space that isn't home or work or school? you could try being online, but - what places actually exist for you? tiktok counts as social media because you see other people on it, not because they actually talk to you.
there was a local winter tradition of sledding down the hill at my school. kids would use pizza boxes and jackets and whatever worked, howling and laughing. back in september, they made a big announcement that this time, rules were changing, and everyone must pay 10 dollars to participate. when im not scared shitless, i kind of appreciate the environmental irony - it hasn't gone below 40. so much for snow & joyriding.
i saw a bulletin for a local dogwalking group and, nervous about making a good first impression, showed up early. the first guy there grimaced at me. "sorry," he said. "there's a 30-dollar buy-in fee." i thought he was joking. wait. for what? the group doesn't offer anything except friendship and people with whom to walk around the city.
he didn't know the answer. just shrugged at me. "you know," he said. "these days, everything costs money."
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sometimes you just have to let yourself be a bit neurodivergent.
i hate going out, it gives me a lot of anxiety and sensory input that i dont like, and i am often forced to talk to people.
so i do this thing on more difficult days, or sometimes just for fun, where i "bring a fictional character with me". i walk and imagine Fictional Character walking next to me. they talk to me, reassure me, hype me up, whatever i need them to do.
today dean winchester came christmas shopping with me. he went over the list with me of stuff i needed to get, told me i was doing a good job every time i finished in a certain shop, reminded me to take a deep breath when i got a little overwhelmed.
and yea. its kinda silly. and i know its just me talking to myself in a different voice, but it Works! especially since all of my special interests/hyperfixations tend to be tv/movie related.
so do what you gotta do to Get Shit Done. stop holding yourself to neurotypical standards. if you need Fictional Character to tell you you're doing a good job, do it! if you need Favourite Singer to walk you to school, do it! yea it might feel silly but you're literally fighting against your own brain to get stuff done every single day. you can have a little self indulgent daydream, as a treat.
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