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sandy-the-glader · 3 months

Note

Hi!! I hope this is okay!! If not, no worries!! 💜💜💜 (I love you lots!)

Can I please request an Adrian Chase x fem!innocent!reader Where while Adrian is out and about doing his Vigilante work he comes across a bunch of criminals in a warehouse, and after they’re all “taken care of”, he hears someone crying and finds a girl hiding behind a pile of the criminal’s stuff, and she’s handcuffed to something over there, so she couldn’t leave even if she wanted to. She’d obviously be completely terrified of Vig, but as we know, he is very good at reading a person and would clearly see that she is innocent, and had been taken by the bad guys. Normally he would just set the innocent girl free and be on his way, having already taken care of the bad guys, however… He had unfortunately taken off his mask right before finding her, and had forgotten to put it back on, so she has seen his face. Panicking, he just picks her up, and takes her to his car with him, driving straight to the 11th Street Kids HQ, carrying in a terrified Y/n, he himself all panicked, and the team is like “wtf did you do????” “Did you abduct her???” And he’s just like, “No no, I saved her! But then she saw my face… So I guess, yes??”

Lmao it’s honestly a mess, but the team takes care of Y/n’s injuries, apologies for Adrian’s behavior lmao, and lets her stay there until she has recovered, as not only is she hurt, but very scared. After a while of staying with them, she gradually starts warming up to Adrian, him desperately trying to get her not to be afraid of him anymore (for a while there she was terrified of him), and their relationship eventually grows into a more romantic and intimate one🥺🥺🤧

Afraid of Me

*Not my gif*

Character: Adrian Chase x SoftFem!Reader

Type: Fluff and sorta angsty

Length: 5.4K (a bit long)

Summary: Request above <3

Trope: Strangers to friends to lovers, Slow-burn

A/N: LONG A/N!! Sorry this took forever I've been busy with a lot of stuff and I just haven't had any time but I worked on this whenever I could. Btw again I bent the request a little bit (I'm not sure if I wrote what you wanted for it and I apologize ) so I hope it’s okay I just made this go over the whole period of time the show does and like more so there's more time for a bond to be built lol

I heard a quick gunshot followed by another. Tears continued to fall from my eyes as I was tied to some random wall in some warehouse, Apparently, I was not supposed to come across two men selling heroin to each other but here I am. They claimed I saw too much, took me, and tied me up. Who even does that?

I just wanted to return to my apartment and read this new book I bought. That's all I had planned for my day anyway. Yet now I was tied to a pole in some wet and cold warehouse with random crates surrounding me. I tugged and tried to break from but it was helpless. I cried and sniffled as I continued to try but there was no avail.

Were those shots from them or someone else? Please god, let someone save me. I had been here for hours and I was scared of what they had planned for me. They already hit me pretty hard over the head which caused a small trail of blood to fall from my temple.

I heard loud and heavy footsteps coming towards me. I braced myself and waited for the figure to come around the crate to where I was. He was wearing a teal suit, with blood covering it. It was Vigilante. Should I be happy or terrified? He's a killer but isn't he supposed to be a hero?

"Fuck oh my god." He gasped slapping a gloved hand over his mouth. He was missing one exceptionally important part of his suit. His mask. That must have been why he was so frantic.

In all honesty, he looked nothing like I always pictured him. He was lanky with glasses and he looked really young. He looked mid-twenties though I had a feeling he was older. He honestly looked nerdy.

"I'm sorry. I really won't tell anyone who you are. I-I mean I don't even know your name." I stammered. He didn't care though because he continued to curse.

"Fuck fuck fuck. This is so not good." he groaned. The man ran a thick hand through his hair while bouncing back and forth. "Umm." He pondered confused about what to do. "Shit, I can't let you go." My eyes widen. He already has saved me why not let me go on my merry way? He took off his glasses and put his mask back on.

He came over to me and examined my situation. He crouched down and started untieing the rope that kept me on the pole but didn't bother with the ones around my hands or feet.

I was about to thank him for his acts but he picked me up and started to carry me out. Oh, he's actually not letting me go.

"What are you doing!?" I panicked. I started wiggling my body in his grasp then he held me tighter. "Where are you taking me? This hurts." He continued to keep walking until we reached his car a couple of feet from the warehouse.

Holding me with one hand, he opened the door to his back seat and tossed me in. Judging by his face, he didn't mean it to be as aggressive but it was enough to get me to shut up. He slammed the door and rushed over to the driver's seat.

This is it. After all that's happened today I'm being kidnapped by Vigilante and who knows what's going to happen. I guess the law doesn't apply when it comes to him. I actually can't believe it right now.

The entire car ride was silent. Not a sound from the man or from me. It was terrifying. All I could think of was what was going to happen to me. it took him forever to get to his destination and when we got there I realized it was some rundown video store. That couldn't be where we're going right?

"Guy's we got a fucking situation!" Adrian called opening the door with the girl in his hands. The whole team in the building stared at him with wide 'What the fuck' like eyes.

"Who the fuck is that?" Economos asked adjusting his glasses and leaning over his desk.

Adrian (not so carefully) dropped the woman on the floor making her yelp out in shock and pain.

"Did you just kidnap a girl?" Adebayo's eyes widened at the sight.

"No Adebayo!" He yelled defensively. "Okay, well technically yes but-" He was cut off quickly.

"And why did you bring her here?" Harcourt burst out running a hand through her blonde hair.

"Okay, I was doing my badass stuff, right? Like beating up these bad dudes and I found her behind some crates." They all stared at him waiting for him to continue. "And since I didn't know these dudes took a hostage I took my mask off and that's-" He removed his mask again and replaced the glasses on his face. "Really bad." He grimaced.

"Adrian what the hell dude you could have left her. She would have never turned you in. Look at her. No offense." Chris said. She stayed silent like she never heard the comment in the first place.

She was scared to death, trembling on the floor with small tear streaks down her face. Some of the tears mixed in with blood on the left side of her face. She looked innocent as could be and she definitely didn't deserve to be in this mess.

"Dude what the fuck!" He shouted at Chris. "Now she knows my real name! You have so fucked me!" He continued to cure which didn't make the girl feel any better.

"I did not fuck you! Besides it's your fault for bringing her here anyway." Chris furrowed his eyebrows looking back and forth between the petrified girl and his idiotic friend.

"What is happening out here?" Murn came out from one of the rooms and immediately regretted his decision. "We're supposed to be working on the project butterfly case what are you doing Chase?" He asked sternly.

"Oh, now she knows about Project Butterfly!" Harcourt placed a hand on her forehead.

"Well, it's not like I can kill her because she's innocent" The girl's face drained at the mention of death. "and we can't get rid of her because she might tell someone who I am!" Adrian wined out. He was finally right about one thing.

"She also might screw our plan up," Murn muttered trying to think of a reasonable thing to do with this girl.

"Then what do you suppose we do with her?" Economos folded his arms. The girl had been silent the entirety of this conversation but she finally piped up.

"Um.." Her voice caught everyone's attention and they turned their heads to look at her. "I-I can clean and o-organize around here." She stammered. "I can help you guys just please don't kill me." She pleaded. They all non-verbally agreed she had been through enough judging by the look of blood running from her temple and dirt caking her shirt.

"Yeah that honestly could be useful," Harcourt spoke. She looked around the room to only be met with agreeing faces. She let out another deep sigh before Murn spoke up.

"You will work the same hours as us and will get paid a fair amount." He folded his arms tightly over his chest. He didn't ask he just demanded she work.

"I'm also a fast learner and I can help you with anything you need. I don't have a current job so that would be perfect." She tried to look at the bright side of the situation. I can work for money but this is a destructive and hard-core business she pondered. "And since this is a very um dangerous job I just so happened to be trained in medical care." She offered.

"Oh, sweet! That's perfect so now dyed bear can stop doing such a shit job of stitching me up!" Chris smiled.

"Hey!" Economos protested. It was perfectly fine he thought.

"What about my living situation? C-can I still stay In my apartment?" She asked. They all looked around at each other because that was one thing they hadn't thought of. If they let her stay, she could always tell people without them knowing.

"If we let you stay in your apartment, you must realize he" Murn pointed at Adrian Chase himself. "has to keep watch of you? He somehow always knows if someone is doing something they shouldn't be." She nodded slowly. "And if you tell anyone and I mean anyone you will be terminated immediately, do you understand?" He spoke firmly making her hands tremble.

"I understand." She muttered.

"Now that everyone is done with this whole situation I suggest you get back to work," Murn concluded walking back to his office annoyed with the inconvenience.

I sat there absolutely stunned at what just happened. I just got myself into a bat shit crazy job. I mean I don't even know these people and one of them literally abducted me. This is not normal.

Project butterfly? Are these guys all heroes or something? I already was aware of Vigilante's existence and somewhat Peacemaker but there's a lot more than just those two.

"Oh my god, he didn't even untie you." The blonde-haired woman spoke in surprise. I didn't say anything because really what was I supposed to say? "I'm Harcourt." She kneeled beside me. She opened a switchblade and sliced through the ropes binding my hands together and then my feet. "Come on let's get you cleaned up. She went and collected the first aid kit from one of the desks on the left side of the room and motioned for me to sit at her desk. "What's your name?" She asked.

"Y/n L/n." I said quietly as I stared into my lap anxiously.

"Come sit Y/n." She said calmly trying to make me comfortable.

I stood up uneasily and almost fell back down. I steadied myself and carefully walked over to the chair and sat down gently. She pulled out a couple of cotton swabs and some alcohol. She poured the strong liquid onto the small ball.

"I'm sorry about him." Harcourt hummed taking the cotton swab to my forehead.

"Hm?" I replied softly.

"Adrian." She looked me in the eyes. "He just isn't all there sometimes." She mumbled. She tossed the bloodied-up swab in the trash and put a bandage over the small cut.

I looked over at Vigilante who I guess was named Adrian. He was talking to Peacemaker and he looked perfectly innocent. Not even an hour earlier he was tossing me into the back of his car. Jesus, what did I really get myself into? Not only does he have to escort me home, but now I have to work with him. He's a psycho!

"She has a point you know." The woman I was pretty sure was Adebayo spoke up. I glanced at her and she nodded trying to make me realize it. "He's a really good guy you just have to get to know him. I get it he basically kidnapped you but he's stupid in everything but fighting."

"Yeah okay," I mumbled softly. I don't care what they say now I can't trust him after what he did unless he really proves he's trustworthy. At least these people actually had the decency to tend to my wounds.

She continued to bandage and take care of every cut I had on my arms and face. I enjoyed her already because she was delicate to me and cared about my feelings. Pretty quickly she finished and put all the materials away.

"Come over here I think we found a box of old clothes you could change in." She led me back into the store and I could feel Adrian's eyes burning into my back.

"Dude she's afraid of me!" I panicked at Chris looking him dead in the eye. I waited for her to leave before I talked to my best friend about the whole thing.

"Well, I mean you did throw her in the back of your car. Chicks don't really dig that. Unless they're like hardcore." Okay yeah obviously I fucked up big time but I was under a lot of pressure and I wasn't doing what I should have!

"Dude I didn't know what else to do." I whined

"I mean you just gotta make things right with her I guess. I don't know I usually don't have to apologize to girls." He shrugged his shoulders. Great okay how am I supposed to do that when she's obviously afraid of me? Fuck. "Listen when you walk her to her apartment just be like 'Sorry for kidnapping you in my shitty car that was a pretty bad thing to do!' or something like that." I let out a heavy sigh. This is never going to work.

I came back out to the main room in a sweatshirt with the video store's logo on it and sweatpants that were longer than my actual legs with the same logo down the side of it. I held my original clothes in my arms and I was quiet.

What do I do now? Go home? How am I supposed to feel safe in my own home when I know that guy is watching me?

"Listen." Harcourt grabbed my attention. "You can take as much time as you need before you go home. I know that was probably a traumatic experience for you so let me know when you want to leave." She spoke as if she had read my mind. I nodded. "Also we have your address so we can get you home easily." Okay well, I told her my name and that was all it took to find out where I lived. Spectacular.

"What are my work hours?" I still can't believe I got myself to work for these people.

"Just don't get here any later than 8. Hours are different every day. Since you now work here I guess I should tell you who everyone is." She pointed to Peacemaker and Vigilante who were still chatting near the corner of the room "Chris and Adrian ." Then to the other man in glasses. "Economos." The guy in the other room that I could see through the glass. "Murn." Finally, she pointed at the last girl which I already knew. "and Adebayo."

I stood around for not too much longer before very anxiously describing to Harcourt my wishes to leave. She understood fully and went over to Adrian to make him take me home. He looked at me with some sort of care in his eyes but I just couldn't look at him so my eyes fell back to the sight of the floor.

"Come on kid." Harcourt motioned with her head to leave out the door with the man. I walked out the door and the cool air hit me as the sun started to sink down below the horizon.

One car ride and then I'm home. This time I got to sit in the front seat of his car instead of being thrown in the back like a doll. I secured my seatbelt and then just slumped against the car door. All I could really do was pay attention to the passing cars outside and the quiet buzz of the radio.

I also noticed the pleasing smell of his cologne that filled the car or how he hummed along to the Taylor Swift song on the radio. Someone like him is a swiftie?

"I'm sorry that I kidnapped you." Adrian broke the silence between us in an attempt to apologize. I ignored it and kept looking out the window. It was a long day and I genuinely couldn't tell if he was being sincere or was just trying to make me feel like he cared. "Please talk to me. I know I fucked up." I glanced over at him; his eyes flickered between the road and me. "Hey." He reached for my hand and flinched away with wide eyes and a quickened heartbeat.

His eyes lit up in sorrow. He looked like he felt bad. He backed off and for the rest of the car ride, he didn't talk anymore. There was so much tension in that car I felt like I was going to suffocate. I could barely look at him. I was still scared of his guts.

Every turn and stop made me think over and over about the events that occurred today. It was nauseating.

Finally walking through the door of my apartment left me with this feeling I couldn't describe. All of the events that happened today were fucking unbelievable.

The book I was planning to read was on my bed and was quickly tossed on my side table with a small thud. I sprawled out on my bed not bothering to do anything else tonight.

What. The. Fuck.

It's my first day on the job and my teammate already hit someone with a car. A van actually. I got to the disguised video store a bit after seven and Murn described the plan to me. Since I wasn't significant to the plan I just stayed in the car with a first-aid kit just in case things went south. And oh they did.

"Is he dead!?" I stood in the van looking at Economos dumbfounded. He didn't reply at first he was just making shocked quivering noises.

"I... I don't know?" My eyes widened as he started to get out of the car holding a crowbar tightly in his hands. I left the kit on the seats (since I had been fidgeting with the latches the whole ride) and followed him for support or something like that. Maybe I thought I could help. He inspected inside the car which he had hit fully force.

Judomaster was crawling on the ground in front of the car slowly. Economos inched closer and closer to him holding the crowbar. He whacked him once over the head and jolted backward then his body went limp. We waited and sure enough, he kept crawling. He hit him again and he still was moving. I slapped a hand over my mouth as he repeatedly hit him on the back of the head. He poked him a few times like you would a bug making sure he wasn't moving.

"Oh my god." He let out. "Fuck yeah!" He turned around to high-five me. I lightly returned it. "Don't worry he's not dead." He said sensing my shock. "They're hardcore it takes a lot."

"Well, what do we do with him now?" I looked at Economos for ideas. We ended up tying him up and throwing him in the back of the van. I watched him intensely. When would this dude wake up? I really hope not any time soon. Murn radioed us and let us know that they would be coming back soon with of course Vigilante. Economos drove us back to the spot we were supposed to be in and awaited their arrival.

"You're pretty cool." I complimented him. He was taken aback by the positive words.

"Well thank you." He adjusted his glasses with a bright smile.

We waited for 15 minutes until they finally arrived and loaded themselves into the van. Everyone looked untouched besides Harcourt's messy hair, a couple cuts on Peacemaker's face and Vigilante crying about his bleeding toe. I grabbed the medical kit I had set down on the seats just minutes before and rushed to Adrian's side.

I motioned for him to move his foot up to where I needed it. He hesitated for a moment but then proceeded to lift his foot into my lap. I scoped out his injured toe and I pulled out the needed materials.

Yikes. I was definitely glad that I stayed in the van. Adrian’s foot jerked in my lap as I tried to get some alcohol.

"Hold still!" I complained to Adrian trying to hold his leg down from wriggling under my grasp. From the looks of it, this man had managed to get half of his pinky toe cut off. That is such a bizarre thing for torture.

“It hurts so bad though!” He wined when I took the alcohol to his foot. He had obviously had worse happen to him but this?

“It could have been worse,” I said. My hold got tighter on his leg since it kept jolting side to side.

“Pft yeah, this was nothing!” He lied as if he hadn’t been complaining two seconds ago. “I’ve gone through worse in DND.” A small smile appeared on my cheeks. DND huh? Who knew the big strong Vigilante was a total nerd? And a swiftie...

“One of my characters got their arm bitten off by a bear so I’d say you’re okay,” I said. His eyes lit up at the mention that I had played before." Just sit still it's about to get worse." His eyes clenched shut.

"Oh shit!" He screamed out making everyone irritated in the van. I shushed him gently with a soft hand on his leg. He shut up very quickly but his body still tensed occasionally with every sting. I held his foot carefully as I bandaged it up thoroughly.

"Are you hurt anywhere else?" I asked. I still didn't dare to look him in the eye.

"Yeah, but I can wait until we get back." He tried to act tough but I could hear the pain in his voice. I noticed a couple of holes in his shirt. Maybe I could fix his shirt while I'm at it. God am I being too nice?

I mean I'm trying to think of the bright side of what happened yesterday and honestly, it didn't seem so bad anymore. He saved my ass and I'm having a paying job. I can only imagine the pay is fantastic for what these people have me doing. I sat next to Adrian. I was feeling a little less scared of him now when I thought about him like that. Even through the visor, his eyes were peeled onto me. It felt like since I got here they never left.

Getting back to headquarters I couldn't get Adrian to get out of the van without making a scene. I dragged him quickly into the store so he wouldn't draw any attention from people lurking around In the streets. I pulled him by his hand and made him sit in the closest chair I could spot. He whined and moaned obnoxiously loud. I knew the stories and new articles about the man. He was tough and put up a big fight, he never lost against criminals.

I grabbed the larger bandages from an area Harcourt showed me just this morning and also some more alcohol.

"Show me where you're hurt." I looked at him curious about what else had happened to him. He pulled off his chest plate and revealed the deep stab wound in his shoulder. The fabric of his shirt clearly revealed the bloody mess it left. My eyes widen. "You kept this from me until now?"

"I could handle this. The toe I'm not entirely sure." I cleaned and bandaged the wound with intense concentration. I was careful and sure not to cause any more harm after this long night. "Thank you." He said softly. I just nodded and didn't reply with anything else.

The days passed as we worked on this project and the days were long and there was a lot of work to do. I didn't have almost any free time anymore so it was hard to make time for friends I actually wanted to talk to or things I really wanted to do. Adrian continued to try his hardest to earn my trust and befriend me.

I started to warm up to him crazy enough. He did little things for me I thought were sweet. Sometimes he brought me breakfast or he would try to learn about things I liked so he could talk about them with me. I started to trust him more and more as the mission proceeded because he was really good company. He would talk and I would listen.

A couple of days after the whole 'Adrian getting his pinky toe almost cut off' situation he got himself arrested. I didn't even know until Harcourt talked to me about it and what Adebayo said to him. I felt bad for him because as much as I thought I disliked him, I hated to hear he was where he was and how Adebayo literally manipulated him into doing it.

The night he got out he showed up at my apartment because he still needed to check up on me and since he hadn't been able to. For the first time, I felt comfortable enough to hug him. So I did, I wrapped my arms gently around his torso and gave a small squeeze. We stood like that for a minute before he quietly wished me a 'goodnight' without any further words. That was the kindest moment we had ever shared with one another

Then the next day we had another mission. Since all this time has passed, I had been informed on what a Butterfly fully was. At first, it was entirely confusing until I realized these were tiny alien butterflies here to kill us. I know it sounds like something straight out of a sci-fi movie.

I had to sit through a whole meeting in the morning next to Adrian where he (the whole time) joked with me. It felt sorta nice honestly. He never stopped being friendly and I just kind of started to accept it more.

And the whole mission went by quickly.

"Oh my god." I blurted when everyone arrived back in the truck. Peacemaker and Economos were fully drenched head to toe in blood, Harcourt had a good amount on her, and Adebayo and Adrian had little to none on them.

"We fought a fucking gorilla!" Adebayo exploded with astonishment. Jesus, sometimes I wish I didn't sit in the car the whole time.

"Economos is the fucking man." Peacemaker clapped him on the back with a proud grin. I did miss a lot if those two are now getting along.

"All the blood is the gorillas right?" I asked startled for a second considering the amount.

"Yeah we're all fine," Harcourt said tiredly.

"At least no one's arm got bitten off, like your DND character right?" Adrian nudged me in the side and sat down next to me. Sure I had only told him a few days ago about that but it still made me happy that he had remembered that tiny detail.

"Right." I smiled. Chris sat in the front and started playing music like he had at the beginning of the ride. I sang along with the rest of my team members to 11th Street Kids and I actually started to enjoy my work a little more.

I looked over at Adrian who was dancing like a dork. He looked so adorable? He was playing air drums and making up random dances as he went. I don't know why but I started to not hate him anymore. I started seeing this more personal side of him. Not Vigilante but Adrian.

"C'mon dance," Adrian whispered in my ear and nudged me again. I started to sway along with the group.

Later that night Harcourt made a group chat with all of us and sent a photo she had taken in the van. I set the book down I had finally got to reading beside me on my bed and picked up my phone.

Everyone was dancing in the van but on the right side, you could see me looking at Adrian with the sweetest smile on my face. The chat is filled with different emojis. The only number I had was Harcourts but from the merman emoji, I already knew it was Adrian. I liked his message and sent a fitting emoji to match the others.

I set my phone down and continued reading with a big smile. I never seemed to stop today.

It was the final day of the project and I wasn’t allowed to go. I wasn’t entirely complaining since this job was so bizarre but I was also disappointed. I mean all this build up and I don’t even get to go. They said it would be safer for me and of course, I understood.

But as the night carried on and the morning came through I was nervous. I had no texts or word from anyone. Sure, they still could be busy and have to do some other stuff before texting me but what if?

I heard a rushed-sounding knock on my door which threw me off. I ran to my door since the person decided to not stop knocking.

"What do you want?" I hissed as I threw open the door but I was only met with Adrian. My eyes soften upon seeing him. Oh, thank god he’s alive. "Adrian. Hi." I paused when noticing he was in a pair of shorts and a nursing gown. "Come inside." I ushered him in with wide eyes and closed the door quickly behind him. "What are you doing here?"

"Listen I jumped out of a hospital building to be her so-"

"Adrian!" I scolded him for being careless. I had started to really enjoy him I didn't need him being so careless all the time.

"Shut up. Sorry, but I need to tell you this." I stared at him silently with folded arms awaiting what he was about to tell me. "Okay, so after almost dying, I know what you're about to say please just wait. After almost dying, I realized had more feelings for you than I have ever had for someone and that's like a lot for me." He stepped closer to me. "I had to tell you those feelings just in case I actually died sometime. But now I'm scared if you reject me because of the whole kidnapping thing when we first met and usually I would be okay with rejection but I don't feel usual with you." He rambled and his hands made several confusing gestures along the way.

Everything about him told me he was being truthful. His hands were trembling with nervousness, He literally came from a hospital to tell me this and he just had that look on his face.

The feelings from the other day came rushing back. I really enjoyed being with genuine Adrian. The time we spent together over the course of this project was enjoyable. I noticed small things about him like the way he always made sure to keep an eye on me and was careful not to get me into anything super dangerous. He had become almost like a personal guard.

He even taught me how to use weapons, and also never overstepped my boundaries. So yeah maybe I developed a crush on my kidnapper co-worker.

"Why are you looking at me like that I'm like really nervous right now." He asked.

"Because I feel the same way. Even though you did totally kidnap and traumatize me." I nudged him smiling but he didn't return it. "Adrian I was playing with you. But I really do feel the same way." He let out a long breath. I was quite sure he had stopped breathing for a little while.

"Oh thank god." Adrian stepped closer and picked me up in his arms as he kissed me deeply. I've kissed a couple of times in the past but never did it feel as amazing as this. I held him close to me as if he would slip away again. He pulled away to look closely at my face.

"Just because you kissed me doesn't mean I won't scold you for almost dying." I glared at him but he just smiled kindly and kissed me again.

"If I keep. Kissing you then. I won't. Get yelled at." He said in between kisses making me start to laugh.

“Don’t scare me like that again Chase.” I shook my head kissing him passionately once more. I could get used to this feeling.

#adrian chase #adrian chase x y/n #adrian chase fanfic #vigilante #vigilante x you #freddie stroma #freddie stroma x reader #in such a vigilante brain rot again please help #adrian chase x reader #soft angst #fluff

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doberbutts · 6 months

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Hi - asking in good faith here, but I am also relatively new to active anti-racism (im white, grew up in all white areas, and didn't encounter anti racist perspectives until college). In the last few years I've done a LOT of reading about anti-black racism, black feminist theory, womanism, etc, and I'm beginning to understand why the bastardization and appropriation of aave is so harmful. I don't want to put my friends of color on the spot about this or make them feel pressured to answer a certain way, though, and I DO want an answer that's grounded in theory and thoughtfulness about these things (two traits my circle of 18-20 year olds sometimes lacks, understandably). I know that that might put a lot of pressure on you as well but please know that while I do respect your opinion, I know you're just one Black person with one opinion - and of course if an irl Black friend ever came to me and told me to stop I would.

My question is, if I am making sure to attribute it correctly as AAVE, being careful to make sure I'm using it appropriately, and of course listening in case I hear I've misused it - is it still harmful for me as a white person to use aave? Is it possible to use aave non-harmfully as a white person, among Black friends? Or would it be better for me to do my best to remove those words and phrases and grammatical structures from the way I speak entirely?

A lot of these things, I pick up FROM my friends, and they haven't, idk, made faces or suggested I should stop or anything like that. But of course it's hard to sort out what I pick up from my friends, what I pick up from Black literature (im a terrible parrot from my books unfortunately 😬), and what comes from the intern*t lol. So there's obviously the potential to misuse or disrespect aave, especially if I ever stop being thoughtful about what I say and where I first hear it. And while I have tried to read up on the appropriation of AAVE and develop my own opinion, this really does seem like one of those things where as a white person my opinion is always going to be a little out of touch - and I REALLY don't want to hurt and alienate my friends and accidentally advance racism in my community because I felt qualified to comment on this.

I don't know. I grew up in a very white enclave in a very white area of a very white state, and I AM trying to catch up and think critically about what I do say and think, but honestly, I am very new to these things. So if this is a dumb question or I am inadvertently ignorant/inappropriate, I'm really sorry about that and please know that I AM trying to do better. (And I will never say no to specific resource recommendations. I've read everything you usually read in an intro to Africana studies course lol but there is so much out there!!)

Thanks, either way. I appreciate you taking the time to read this extremely long winded ask lol. And I appreciate the way you blog about these things and how you make it clear where and from what you develop your opinions - that's super helpful!!!

-bee

Well as you said I am one person and I do not know you or talk to you really so I can't really say yes or no on your specific case. But also I would challenge you to ask yourself why you felt you needed the permission of a black stranger rather than actually sit down and talk to your friends about it.

I have said in other posts that it is less about needing to be black to speak AAVE and more about respect. I am all for cultural sharing and appreciation and I do not think that culture requires specifically only blood ties. I'm a mixed race person, after all, and one who has a quite large mixed race extended and found family. I think that blood is not the only thing that defines us.

But I also think that one must go into these sorts of conversations with respect. My white (passing) mother can understand my black family speaking AAVE, despite the fact that there was a single black kid in her neighborhood and school system when she grew up. This is because she treated my dad and his family with respect, and so they are comfortable speaking this way in front of her, and she is comfortable asking for clarification if she needs it, which is quite rare nowadays considering she's been married to my dad for 35 years and in a relationship with him for 42 and has thus had a lot of practice.

But she also doesn't use AAVE herself. To her, it would be disrespectful. She did not grow up in it. It is not her culture. It is shared with her due to proximity to said culture with her husband and father of her children. But for her, she chooses to continue to use the Pennsylvania Dutch-influenced dialect she grew up in, which is a very white Appalachian specific-to-Pennsylvania dialect and culture. I myself switch back and forth between the two, depending on who I'm talking to. Sometimes in the same conversation, if I'm talking to my mom vs my dad in the same room.

I don't think any of my black family would be offended if she did use AAVE, though again with her personality and the way she has approached this over the last several decades I think they'd be surprised if she suddenly did it like tomorrow or something. But she herself does not think it would be respectful of the culture, the dialect, or of her husband and inlaws for it to come out of her mouth. And I am sort of inclined to agree. Outside of a few slang words that have become so distant from their roots that it is difficult to say they are *purely* AAVE anymore, similar with many historically-Yiddish slang words, I do not personally think she could hold a conversation in AAVE and do it respectfully enough to not be offensive. It's just not really hers to do that with.

On the other hand, when I worked in a mostly-black store in an area that was significantly more black-populated, where I rarely had to code switch and mostly used AAVE all the timewith clients and customers, there were nonblack people who also used and understood AAVE. I had no problem with this, even with the white people doing it, because that was just how everyone in that area spoke. And, mot for nothing, but I found those white people to be as a general rule significantly less racist in their treatment of me and of other people of color, and racial mixing was significantly more common. Again, it's about respect. Even if it's not really a concious thing.

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leejungchans · 2 years

Text

i like you : l.c

༉‧₊˚✧ for my 1k event !

requested by @joshuas : also! chan (svt) with a female reader and university au <3

a/n: hi ms shuawife <33 ty for requesting and also ty for the idea 😭😭 i owe u for all my chabbles (chan drabbles) ideas 💗

word count | 1.1k

pairing | lee chan (svt) x female reader

genre | fluff, university au

warning(s) / includes | food mentions (please lmk if i missed anything!)

“People are staring,” you comment lightly when a group of high school kids walk past your table and spare you and your date a peculiar glance. Chan looks up from his noodles as the teens head further down the street, their silhouettes merging together in the darkness, only illuminated by the occasional street lamp or neon sign.

He turns back to you and shrugs, a small smile playing on his lips when he says, “Maybe they’re just jealous I have a beautiful date.”

“Stop it,” your cheeks grow warm, “I’m not.”

“You are, though,” Chan insists. “You look…” he gestures to your outfit, a satiny dress that your roommate lent you because all your other options suddenly seemed horrific as you were getting ready, “beautiful. Not that you don’t already, obviously, you still look pretty in your normal clothes—not that this dress can’t be ‘normal clothes’—oh God, what am I saying?”

“Chan,” you interrupt gently with a smile, putting a pause to his panicked rambling, “I get what you mean. Thank you. You look really great too.” You mean it. Butterflies have been fluttering wildly in your stomach ever since he picked you up in a crisp white shirt and black slacks, sleeves rolled up and top few buttons of his shirt undone.

The rosy flush on his cheeks spreads to the tips of his ears as he returns the smile, and your heart can’t help but thrum loudly against your ribcage at how radiant he looks when he smiles, the little scrunch of his nose, the twinkle in his eyes as he shyly runs a hand through his hair... You think you could sit here all night just admiring him. In a non-creepy way.

Chan’s next words come out much quieter as he looks down at his bowl of half-finished instant ramen. “I’m really sorry our date didn’t turn out as planned.”

“A little improvisation isn’t always bad,” you say lightly, feeling a twinge in your heart at how guilty he sounded. “Plus, I like it here, genuinely.”

Truth is, neither of you quite knew what to do for your first date. You just knew you liked the bumbling boy who sat next to you in your Modern History lecture, who asked to borrow a pen each time because he always forgot, who slid you candies whenever he noticed you were seconds from dozing off. You had a spring in your step for a week after he asked you to be his partner for your final project, but nothing could’ve ever prepared you for being asked out by him.

Ultimately, he took his older friends’ advice and suggested going out for dinner at a nice place. Traditional, classic, can’t go wrong, that’s what they told him.

It’s not that something went wrong. The dressing up part was fun, but it’s when you got to the restaurant that things started feeling off. Chan was a gentleman as always, yet he felt more like a stranger on your date than when you were in your class of over a hundred people, and you knew he was freaking out over the same thing no matter how hard he tried not to show it.

So while his older friends may not agree with your decision of leaving early for instant ramen and convenience store snacks, neither of you can really bring yourself to care. The air feels so much lighter here—no judgy servers and patrons casting looks at the two awkward, out-of-place university students, and certainly no overpriced meals that really just consisted of three bites of food. (How was either of you supposed to be full from that?)

Who cares if 7-11’s plastic outdoor chairs are creaky, or if your ramen is starting to get soggy, or if your soda is losing its fizz quicker than Vernon can give up on studying for his Economics exam? You’re happy.

“You like it here?” Chan echoes in utter disbelief. “B-But this place hardly screams first date.”

“Any place can be a first-date place depending on who you’re with, though. And how much you like them.”

You don’t think you’re helping much judging by the pout that seems to have settled on his face permanently. Is it too early to think about kissing him?

“I guess…” he murmurs, “it’s just that I think… you deserve a lot better than a 7-11.”

“Honestly, I’d rather eat with you behind a dumpster than at a place where we couldn’t be ourselves.” He cocks an eyebrow at you, and you falter slightly. “Well—maybe not a dumpster, but you know what I mean.”

Chan nods timidly, still unsure.

“My point is, I don’t like you any less just because we’re at a 7-11 and not some fancy place.” He can’t help but give his full attention to you—not that he doesn’t already—as your eyes glow with fiery determination. “You can take me here again for our second date, and our third, and our fourth, and I still wouldn’t care because I like you.”

Oh, how embarrassing, you were definitely being a little too intense just now. You reckon the burning sensation that erupts across your face is what molten lava would feel like if it ever came in contact with your skin. The stunned look on Chan’s face worries you. You’ve never had an outburst quite like this one in front of him, what if this scares him off?

The fierce glint in your eyes mellows back into something more neutral as you smile sheepishly. “Sorry, I came off a bit strong, didn’t I?”

Fervently, Chan shakes his head. “No—well, maybe a little, but I appreciate it!” he adds hastily upon seeing how your face fell slightly. There’s a strong urge to reassure you that he found your mini spiel more touching than anything else, that he feels comforted knowing now you didn’t find tonight a complete bust.

“Thank you, you have no idea how relieved I am to hear that because I really like you too,” you try not to smile too widely at how cute he looks with his bright pink ears, “and I’d love to take you on as many dates as you want.”

You beam sweetly, and it causes your cheeks to puff up and your twinkling eyes to curve into crescents. You’re so pretty it makes his pulse spiral out of control, soon enough he’ll feel his heartbeat all the way down to his toes. How is it only your first date and yet he’s already completely wrapped around your finger?

Chan thinks he’ll fall out of his chair when you reach across the small table to lay a gentle hand on his. Despite this, he secretly hopes you don’t let go. Your skin feels soft, if he had a little more courage he’d flip his hand around so he can intertwine your fingers.

Your eyes shyly flicker up to hold his gaze; maybe it’s just because he’s horrendously down bad, but he sees the entire universe in them.

“I’ll look forward to every single one, then.”

a/n: shy dorky uni bf chan 🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️

if you enjoyed my writing, please take a little time to reblog and give feedback to support it <3 interact with content creators please !

#ficscafe #caratwritersclub #kdiarynet #sol.writings #seventeen x reader #svt x reader #seventeen fluff #svt fluff #dino x reader #chan x reader #lee chan x reader #dino fluff #lee chan fluff #seventeen imagines #svt imagines #seventeen scenarios #svt scenarios #dino imagines #lee chan imagines

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becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys · 2 years

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Hi, I think this maybe constitutes a Wales Question! So, I'm English originally, currently in my third year at Aber university, and its reputation for "that place you go to study and then never ever leave" is looking like it's holding true. I've been living with two very good friends of mine who are extremely Welsh for nearly 2 years now, and in that time I've been slowly picking up bits of Welsh culture and language (it started with me not wanting to mess up trying to pronounce the biology building name and looking like an idiot, but I got very interested from there, and plan on taking a class after I graduate).

I'm serious about wanting to live here, I've fallen in love with the town and the country ever since my knowledge of it evolved from "dragons and sheep and funny long names on road signs" that I thought as a kid, and I've genuinely enjoyed being brought into the fold and joining in stuff with my friends, But. my friends are very adamant that this means I can Be Welsh, and I'm not sure how to take it. On one hand, of course I would like to be, but I'm not sure how much I can claim that confidently- I didn't grow up here, have barely lived here for that long, and there's still a lot I don't get so I'm worried about making it weird. On the other, I think adamantly declaring myself English instead and turning them down is very very easy to take the wrong way!

As the most vocally Welsh person I am aware of on tumblr, I am humbly requesting your take on this... would it be considered unreasonable for foreigners to claim Welshness, with enough effort put in to learning ofc? It would be very nice and appreciated to get a second opinion :)

Diolch yn fawr iawn!

Okay so obviously I am slapping on a HUGE caveat here that I am No One, I am just another stranger at the shouting match who sometimes has some thoughts about things I see and the ability to amusingly compare things to other things. What follows are the lukewarm takes of Just Some Person, and not to be taken as gospel in any way.

But also lol you did ask and I love giving opinions, I do, so let's gooooo

So first up, I do think you're slipping into the fallacy here of playing the Boxes Game with something that doesn't fit neatly into boxes, as indeed nothing about humans and people and humans being people actually does. The thing about national/cultural identity is that they aren't precise, immutable data points. 'Culture' is already quite a loose and ethereal beast - you're basically drawing a circle around a bunch of things and going "Everything in here is X Culture!", and you'll be largely right doing that; but, the edge of the circle isn't, in reality, a hard border. It's a gradient. The circle will overlap with other circles, too. And sometimes even the things in the centre of the circle turn out to be absent half the time, and it's all a bit messy. Really, it's a bell curve, and you're just looking to see what turns up most frequently, with the understanding that you only get the big picture from all the data points together.

Nationality is even fuzzier, tbh. It's a highly personal thing. I'm very Welsh - my Welshness, though, looks different even from other Welsh people in Swansea, and certainly from a Welsh person living in Caernarfon. There are definitely unifying elements; but ultimately, it's something you kind of carve out for yourself, both consciously and unconsciously.

And I bring that up because part of your question is, "At what point do I cross the line into the circle? How long do I have to wait and how much do I have to do before Welshness happens? When do I get to claim the label?"

And there's no answer to that. Not for anyone. This is an identity issue, not a hard scientific concept. Kind of reminds me of a lot of questioning folks in the queer community, in fact. Humans like boxes and labels because they're comforting, but ultimately, we fit in them about as well as angry cats.

With that said, though, it's certainly true that there is a profound and observable difference between a naturalised citizen and a long-term tourist, which I think is the root of your fears here. A Brit who likes holidaying to Spain and decides to go and live there but doesn't learn Spanish, doesn't integrate with the local community, doesn't respectfully partake of any local customs (especially if they condescendingly view the local customs as quirky or quaint, or worse, look down on them), who learns nothing of the history of the area or wider country... that Brit could live there for 40 years, could even go the whole hog and get Spanish citizenship. But they are nothing more than a long-term tourist. Part of claiming culture and nationality is that it's not a spectator sport.

But by contrast, if that Brit were to learn Spanish and use it in everyday life (even if they sometimes fell back on English, or used a funky mix like Spanglish sometimes); if they learned all the history, INCLUDING and MOST ESPECIALLY all the pressure points that mean a Brit in particular cannot do X thing or make X joke; if they integrate with the local community, helping neighbours and coming to community events; if they respectfully take part in local customs, and only add elements of their own culture after learning about the customs properly so they know which bits are important and which can be amended...

Well, that's a totally different matter, isn't it?

It sounds like you're in the latter camp. It's particularly encouraging that your Welsh friends are already adopting you, in the broody chicken fashion of Welsh Mams Everywhere, because it suggests that while you may be English, you aren't English TM (you know the type). So, that's a good start, and it certainly puts you on the path to Naturalised Citizen.

So at that point, I suppose it becomes a matter of personal comfort. You're certainly right that it's still, relatively speaking, quite a new facet of your identity that you've only just started exploring and developing. Learning Welsh, when you get round to it (check with the university by the way, Aber is very keen on helping students learn and can get you cheaper/free courses), will push you several miles down that road, because that's a big effort expenditure AND it will put you in touch with the second of Wales' two dominant cultures.

But ultimately, the label you use has to be down to what you feel fits best, and what you're comfortable with. If you aren't comfortable with 'Welsh' yet, then that's completely fine - it's not for you at the minute. Put it on a back burner. Maybe use 'British' for now? In place of 'English', which is more specific. Maybe you can say you're "from England originally", or that you were born there but live here now; both of those are accurate, but also give the statement of intent. They make it clear that, as an adult, Wales is 'home'. This is where you're choosing.

In any case... croeso i'r clwb! And a thousand thanks for learning the language, and even just for the effort you've put in so far. Even just learning the pronunciation puts you miles above most English people, in spite of it being such a basic thing to do. It's more appreciated than you can know.

Also sorry this got long lol

#WALES!#closed for cleaning on mondays #asks #long post

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lovesick-feelings · 2 years

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Good day, can you please make a yandere headcannon on Nightmare from Fnaf 4? And your style…wow, it's just something, so cute and so creepy in its own way:0

Nightmare was a really hard character to think of. Probably cause he was the last animatronic I was expecting anyone to have as their fav (*ΦωΦ*) But thank you for requesting as always! I really appreciate it!! (ᅌᴗᅌ)

Note: For people, mostly children, who become afraid of animatronics in the pizzeria, seeing nightmare animatronics at night is not an uncommon occurrence. They are supposed to be like ghosts who haunt children after they sense fear. Their main goal is to bring fear to kids as that is what gives them their strength. These beings can transfer into the physical and dream world. They do not stop until the child has grown out of their fear. Only in extreme cases such as near-death experiences would Nightmare be seen as he represents death.

➳ Your case was unique, to say the least. Not only was Nightmare sent to seal your fate, but you were the first older person he was sent to kill. Most of the time Nightmare finds himself going after the souls of children. He didn't mind, it piqued his interest how someone your age would've been scared of cutesy robotic animatronics.

➳ As he watched you defend yourself from the other nightmares, he couldn't help but enjoy the show you were putting on for him. You were smart (as in you never cried to anybody for help) and quick to pick up their games yet you still expressed the same amount of fear.

➳ It's amazing how cute humans can be when they struggle to keep one eye open and finally give in to deep slumber after so many sleepless nights. Those nights where you give in, he would allow no activity. As sadistic as he is, he also enjoys the beauty of your calm state. Nightmare can't help but gently play with your hair and watch your chest heaving with each breath you take.

➳ Officially takes up stalking as a new hobby 😃. Most notably at night when you see a pair of two red eyes quickly disappear into the shadows or when you hear deep echoed laughter after making it to 6 am. He isn't even supposed to be there yet still uses the excuse of “keeping you in suspense”. This not only leaves you paranoid but also confuses the rest of the nightmares haunting you.

N. Fredbear: ₩ⱧɎ ₳ⱤɆ ɎØɄ ł₦₮ɆⱤ₣ɆⱤł₦₲ ₩ⱧɆ₦ ł₮'₴ ₦Ø₮ ₮ⱧɆłⱤ ₮ł₥Ɇ ɎɆ₮?

Nightmare: ₴₮₣Ʉ 👹

N. Fredbear: 😶

➳ At some point, your friends/ family are getting worried. The lack of sleep and paranoia has taken a toll on you and it shows. So how does Nightmare take "strangers" trying to approach you? Well, killing them of course! They won't be able to even take a breath your way before Nightmare shreds them into pieces and gobbles them whole. Oh don't worry, he won't let you watch, y’know, since he's so nice and considerate of you.

➳ By the time the horrible life or death situation happens, you are imminently faced against him. When he finally sees your frazzled look through the door from all the crying and sleepless nights, he starts to pity you. He’s never done it before, but maybe he can make a few changes to your fate.

➳ Now that you are completely in his claws, it's time to decide what to do. No need to look so upset he's brought a proposition just for you! Regardless of his intimidating looks, it's his formal and collected approach to you that takes you by surprise. Be his forever and you’ll get the second chance you fought so hard for.

Now there are two outcomes to this

➳ You accept. Obviously, he is pleased with your answer. He’d expected nothing less from his clever little dear. It quickly becomes uncomfortable when he stretches his claws to take you into a hug? Or at least an attempt at a hug, since you had to distance yourself from his stomach’s mouth mf really started chuckling at that 💀

➳ Pros! You're alive and able to fully recover quicker than you thought! Cons, you’re traumatized and the nightmares are still in your life. Luckily, they don't torment you as much, only giving you harmless jumpscares. Nightmare himself is a permanent part of your life now that you agreed to be his. Behold his possessiveness of you in full glory as he proceeds to maul anyone and everyone who goes against you. He is willing to give you whatever you desire but don't think he won't expect anything back.

“ ₵Ø₥Ɇ ĐɆ₳Ɽ, ɎØɄ Ⱨ₳VɆ ₴Ø ₥Ʉ₵Ⱨ ₮Ø ₥₳₭Ɇ Ʉ₱ ₣ØⱤ ₳₣₮ɆⱤ ₳ⱠⱠ ₮Ⱨ₳₮ ⱠØ₴₮ ₮ł₥Ɇ\~"

➳ You decline. You know you fucked up when he starts laughing. Before you could even comprehend what is going on he immediately has his claws around your neck. Twisting until a loud snap filled the room. It’s such a shame you wasted such a valuable opportunity that most would kill to have. No matter it's not like you're going anywhere. Just because you're dead doesn't mean you're allowed to go to the afterworld; he's keeping you with him for the ride. A ghost that's forever forced to stay by his side and witness each soul he takes.

“Ɇ₦ØɄ₲Ⱨ ₩ł₮Ⱨ ₮ⱧɆ ₮Ɇ₳Ɽ₴ Đ₳ⱤⱠł₦₲\~ ɎØɄ ₭₦Ø₩ ₮Ⱨł₦₲₴ ₩ØɄⱠĐ₦’₮ ₮ɄⱤ₦ɆĐ ØɄ₮ ₮Ⱨł₴ ₩₳Ɏ ł₣ ɎØɄ ₳₵₵Ɇ₱₮ɆĐ ₥Ɇ ₣ⱤØ₥ ₮ⱧɆ ฿Ɇ₲ł₦₦ł₦₲”

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reallyromealone · 2 years

Text

Nahoya leaves reader for a week with Souya while dealing with business and comes back to reader with a pet rock -@hanmasghost

"Ok dude, You're gonna be staying with uncle Sou"

"Bet!" Little (name) said happily as Souya laughed at the slang the toddler picked up from Baji "aight be good and don't be stupid yeah?"

"Ok daddy!"

"Aight, I will be back in seven days"

"Bye bye!"

(Name) was used to staying at his uncle's house whenever Nahoya had to leave for work, the toddler actually couldn't tell the difference between them until he was around two so babysitting was super easy.

"Uncle Sou! Can we go to the park?" (Name) asked after lunch, the younger twin thinking before nodding "sure, but you know the rules yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"What are they?"

"Stay in uncle Sou's eyes!

No fighting!

No eating stuff that uncle Sou hasn't checked and STRANGER DANGER!"

"good! Now go get your shoes on and we can head out"

(Name) was very obviously a Kawata, save for obvious features of his mom he looked very much like the twins "I will be here alright?"

"Ok uncle Sou!"

Souya was awkward as he sat with the moms and nannies, the women a bit weary of him before one made small talk with him and the group quickly grew comfortable with him when learning be was watching his nephew and that he wasn't a child murderer.

"Uncle Sou! Look!" (Name) yelled out as he ran to his uncle "look at what I found!"

In his hand was a rock that had to be the size of Souyas fist and the boy held it like a baby "can I keep it?"

Unsure what to say he just nodded, the boy beaming and ran to play with his new best Friend.

Nahoya was so happy to come home as he walked to his brothers apartment to collect his brat.

He did not expect little (name) to be playing with a rock in a cowboy hat and googly eyes "papa! You're back!" He yelled out and ran to hug his dad's knees "I am, what's with the rock?"

"He's my pet rock! His name is Disco Dan!"

Not even slightly phased by his kids weirdness he just agreed and had (name) go out his stuff together and chatted with his brother until (name) returned with his little suitcase and rock in hand "ok papa! I'm ready!"

"Aight bud let's head out"

Nahoya got a car alongside his bike as he learned it was much safer for his son and snorted when (name) basically demanded he buckle in Disco Dan when he put (name) in the car seat.

Poor nahoya didn't know this would be a three year trend.

#tokyo revengers x male reader #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers fluff #nahoya fluff #nahoya x you #tokyo revengers nahoya #nahoya x reader #nahoya kawata #smiley x male reader #smiley #smiley kawata #angry kawata

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fullofgutsndopamine · 1 month

Text

or: hasan invites you over to carve pumpkins with his kid sister. halloween traditions ensue

not part of a series, but in the same universe as fitps. i don’t know either

tw: cursing,

they/them reader

there’s yelling coming from inside the house.

you can see hasan, a kiss the cook apron tied around his waist, a backwards hat on his head and one oven mitt on, yelling into another room.

but the thing is, the smile never leaves his face.

a deep breath,you fix your hair in the reflection of the door (because this is obviously not a date. just hasan who wanted company while carving pumpkins) and rang the doorbell.

you act like you don’t see his head whip up, fear on his face for a second as he throws the oven mitt on the table, takes his hat off to fix his hair, only to jam it back over his head.

“Don’t answer the door, it could be a stranger-“

you hear him yelling, not even able to finish it as the door freaks open, and his little sister pops her head out.

“are you here to kill us?” she asks in a small voice, and she wears the same smile Hasan has on his face.

“Hi Ames,” you coo. “i don’t think so, not today at least.” you tease back as you kneel on the concrete steps.

“Has, they said they weren’t here to kill us!” she yells over her shoulder, but Hasan is behind her, rolls his eyes.

“Yeah,” he snorts, “I heard. I don’t think a killer would exactly tell us before they kill is though, hmm?”

he tickles her side and she giggles but he keeps going and she squeals into his side until he picks her up, swings her over his shoulder and tickles her as she lays on his shoulder.

“isn’t that right?” he finishes as she giggles over his shoulder.

“Sorry about her,” Hasan's face is lightly pink, “she’s been talking about you all day.”

“that’s not true!” she struggles to be heard over his shoulder, “Hasan was! he said-“

he huffs, and she’s on the ground, a smile on her face so she obviously knows what she’s doing, Hasan kneeling in front of her: “I put clothes on your bed. go change.”

Amelie does a fake gasp, “But my pretty dress!” her face falls, crocodile tears on the horizon, “You don’t like my dress?”

He rolls his eyes, “Of course I like your dress. I chose it.” he tickles her side until she’s smiling and his voice drops, “We don’t want yucky pumpkin guts on your pretty dress, right Aimes?”

she gasps, a theatrical kid, “Pumpkin guts?! Yuck!” she giggles and he nods:

“Exactly. Hurry up, put it on and we’ll get carvin’, yeah?” and she nods and all but runs out of the room.

Hasan stands, his face pink like he’s embarrassed to show this soft side of him. “Sorry uh-c’mon, i’ll show you the kitchen. it’s not a long walk.” he snorts and jams the hat back over his head, a nervous habit of his youve slowly picked up on.

You follow closely behind, take the time to look at the walls as you pass. Hasan is sentimental, even if he insists he’s not; art work from school and library reading programs line the wall, her name carefully written in Hasan's unmistakable chicken scratch writing in the corner, her age next to it.

if a wall isn’t covered in her art work, it’s covered with the two of them: her on his lap, faces pressed together, dressed up for past halloweens in handmade costumes (Hasan's fingers covered in bandaids, obviously he stayed up countless days and hours to make them, to have her have a good halloween-)

“Short walk,” Hasan snorts, “Here.” and he pulls a wooden chair out for you to sit on as he shuffles to the kitchen.

“Okay, confession time.” he sighs, his hand rests on the bar to the fridge. “I have bad news and good news.”

you hold in a sigh, afraid the bad news is: i hate you and you’re only here because my kid sister loves you for some reason or we need to do this quick, i want you out-

“Go ahead.” you hope your voice sounds steady.

“So,” his head disappears in the fridge, appears with a large mason jar, “I had midterms, so i didn’t have time to make apple cider. we’re telling Ames this is homemade, she won’t know the difference.”

you snort out relief, a weight from your shoulders gone, “Homemade apple cider too? I thought you hated Autumn, Hasan.” you tease.

“i do!” he insists, “But Ames loves it, so unfortunately, that means i love it. It was our moms tradition so-“

there’s some weight there but it doesn’t sit, and instead you laugh and he comes back over with a smaller cup, mis matched form whats in his hand, of apple cider, warmed up, and hands it off to you:

“cheers.” he says gently and you smile back and clink the side of his cup gently, taking a sip.

Hasan chugs it back, wipes his hands on his jeans and goes to the stove, stirring something in a pot.

“What’s the good news?” you call back gently as you watch him in his element, a smile on his face as he stirs. He hasn’t said it, but you were hit in the face by the smell of chicken noodle soup, so it’s obvious that’s it.

“Hm?” he calls back, finally looking at you.

“you said good news and bad news,” you reason, turning the cup over in your hands, “so what’s the good news?”

he snorts, “good news?” his eyes travel to the ceiling, “Hm. good news i guess is your pick of two: my amazing homemade pumpkin seeds we make or my amazing homemade soup.”

you laugh, “i think my favorite thing about you is how modest you are.” you tease back gently.

“I’ve been told before.” he teases back again, “Oh! here.” he puts the spoon on top of a box of pasta to the side, pads over to you and grabs a shirt off the chair.

“I uh-so you don’t get your shirt fucked up when we’re carvin’.” and he seems nervous, as he gently passes it over, some over sized light blue dress shirt, “use it as a smock, or whatever. we take carving seriously here.”

and to hide his pink face, he beelines for the stove, occupies himself with it as you turn the shirt over in your hands.

it’s nice of him, very nice. the shirt you’re wearing is a program shirt from a library program you run, definitely not anything fancy, or anything s good wash wouldn’t get out-but it’s such a nice thought you unbutton it and slowly put your arms into it-

it smells like him.

minty, mostly. you’ve only had the smell of him linger briefly and not in a creepy way-like when you babysit Amelie late when he has a late project due, or he picks her up from a library program-he always pulls you in for this hug after, like you’re his long lost best friend or something, anything more-

Amelie comes running down the stairs, making hasan flinch, “Ames, if i have to take you to the hospital we won’t have time to carve pumpkins!” he reminds her gently.

she comes into the kitchen, obviously wearing one of his shirts, too big on her, is down to her knees, and long pajama bottoms, but has a large smile on her face.

“Nu uh, Hasan!” she teases, “we won’t cause i’m careful!”

she’s shaking her head so hair hits either side of her face.

“mhm.” he rolls his eyes he opens a drawer in the kitchen, “c’mere, you’re a mess. you’re gonna get hair all over my kitchen table.” but he says it with fondness in his voice, he disappears, kneeling on the floor and you can see his hands carefully work through her hair, put little rubber bands around her hair.

and she appears a second later, messy piggy tails now.

“Go sit down. Apple cider?” he asks, nudging her towards the table, where she flops down next to you.

a gasp. “Mhm!” her eyes narrow, “is it homemade?”

he rolls his eyes, “of course it’s homemade! what kind of monster do you think i am?”

and you look up at him and he winks at you as he takes a cup down and pours the juice into there.

“hopefully not a monster like the ones under beds!” Amelie gasps, eyes wide as she moves her hands around, now talking to you. “Hasan always checks for mon’sers under the bed before bedtime but he says he never finds any.”

Hasan tickles her side as he hands over the cup and she leans into it, giggling, as he speaks; “that’s right. cause monsters know not to mess with me.”

You bite your lip at how cute the two of them interacting is, but Amelie is standing on the chair, Hasan's hand hovering on her lower back, as she talks wildly with her hands about monsters.

“c’mon, Ames. Wanna help me carry pumpkins in?” she nods furiously, hops off the chair, and the two of you follow hasan to the front door, as he opens it, gently pushes to the front and hands Amelie her pumpkin first, it’s tiny and small, puts it in her hands:

“you got it, Ames?” he says gently, “careful.” he says as she slowly teeters to the kitchen table with the small pumpkin.

“i can carry yours.” you laugh, feeling like it’s the least you could do.

he snorts, “please. what kind of gentleman would i be?” and he turns around, two pumpkins under his arms, clearly struggling, “besides,you got your own to take care of.”

you stare wide eyed at him, because that’s so nice and not expected, thought you were coming over to watch and like, maybe help Amelie carve, not make your own.

you shut the front door and jog to his side, where Amelie is putting down old newspaper to cover the dining room table, “hasan,” you say gently, “you didn’t have to buy me one. lemme pay you back.”

he laughs. a hard laugh.

“I’m literally never going to take your fuckin’ money. besides, your practically part of the family, you got to at least participate in the competition, isn’t that right, Ames?” he says as he sets your pumpkin under newspaper, gently plays with Amelie’s hair.

“Mhm!” she agrees with whatever her big brother says.

“that’s nice of you,” you say gently, as hasan pulls your chair out again and has you sit down again, picks Amelie up by her armpits and sets her on the chair next to you. “i’m just-gonna feel so bad when i kick your butt in the competition.”

Amelie gasps and giggles, “Hasan always use to win against Mama.”

he puffs his chest out, wearing it with pride. “That’s right-“

“‘cept that one year-“

“ah!” Hasan says, face pink again as he gently has his hand over her mouth, “we don’t talk about that, remember, sunshine?”

she giggles and licks his hand so he pulls it away, fake horror, before he leans in and kisses her forehead.

“i’ll get the tools, gimme a second.”

and he pads to the stove, another stir of the soup, before going to a cabinet and pulling out a small orange nylon bag of tools.

“Alright, lemme get Ames set up real quick.” he’s at her side, picks her up by under her armpits and steals her seat, sets her on top of his lap as he passes her a permanent marker.

her tongue hangs out of the side of her mouth as she carefully draws a circle around the stem, caps it and hands it back.

“Good?” Hasan asks, picks up the kitchen knife carefully, waits until she nods for confirmation, and begins sawing around the stem in a circle, her hand on top of his as he slowly, carefully cuts the top off.

her hand immediately goes into the top, starts pulling the insides out, a fit of laughter.

hasan watches her fondly, hands over a permanent marker to you.

“you got this?” he teases gently and you roll your eyes in mock anger.

he watches you carefully the entire time, a smile on his face, as you draw the circle yourself, watches with a careful eye as you take the top off, but the seeds to the side.

he sets up across from you, eyes narrowed as he does the same, getting up occasionally to help Amelie with a seed she can’t reach or anything small like that-

“Go draw a face” hasan says as he passes her the marker again, grabs a bowl and carefully picks it apart to throw the seeds in.

Amelie is busy, humming to herself as she draw a face, that hasan absentmindedly comes to your side, grabs the seeds. “need help?” you ask gently, and he almost looks surprised for s second, as you’re moving without waiting for an answer, putting the seeds in.

“i gotta watch,” you tease gently, “learn the secret behind the homemade pumpkin seeds.”

he snorts, ducks his head as he pads to the sink, you in toe, and carefully wash them off, hands it back to you as you pat them dry and spread them on a cooking sheet.

“You gotta tell me the secret.” you tease again gently, “is it salt? or hm?” your eyes travel to the ceiling, where little paper bats, obviously homemade, hang up.

“the secret,” hasan indulges, voice low but wears a smirk, “is lots of cinnamon.”

you snap your fingers, “figures. i’ll be the judge of how amazing they are.” you tease.

“hasan makes the best pumpkin seeds,” Amelie calls, her face still on the pumpkin, “everyone knows that.”

he smiles, nudges you so you know he’s kidding, “That’s right, Ames. thank you, sunshine.”

you bite your lip to stop yourself from teasing him about this soft side, the nicknames, that only comes out when he’s talking to Amelie (or when he’s very excited) because you’ve mentioned it before and he pulls a face, eyebrows squished together, insists “i don’t have a soft side! I'm mean, even!”

“you’ll see.” he teases again, nudging you, “you’ll see you’ll see.” he hums.

hasan shoves the baking sheet into the oven once it beeps that it’s preheated, and pads back to the chair, Amelie in his lap as he carefully cuts out the face she made.

“Spooky, Ames.” he teases gently, “Spoooooky this year.” he holds out the ‘o’

“to keep the ghouls and ghosts away, hasan!” she insists, “like that story you read!”

He looks up and you’re looking at him confused and his face flushes pink, “just-just some silly bedtime story I read her is all.” he insists, and immediately tries to change the subject.

“Think you can handle this?” hasan teases you, hands you a marker again.

you roll your eyes, “i think i got it. i think you’re just scared, hm?”

he snorts, “Oh, you wish-“

“Oh ye of little faith,” you sigh, a smile on your lips, “You’ll see.”

hasan finishes first, the eyes are fucked up and crooked, but the mouth is good, scary even- promptly sets it next to Ames and pulls her onto his lap as he squishes his face against hers and tickles her, points out the little things he likes about hers (“the spooky eyes, sunshine’. ooh!”)

you finish and it’s well-not great, accidentally cut half an eye off, and the mouth is crooked, but hasan oohs and awes at it until your face is flushed pink, picks yours and his up and grabs a lighter off the table, shoves it into his pocket and leads you outside.

night has fallen in small town suburbia, the moon high in the sky, the street lights on and crickets chirp. Amelie sets her on the top step, takes the top off and accepts the tea light candle from hasan gently sets it in, and he does the same for yours and his, crouches and sets the wick, Amelie’s job to put the tops on back carefully.

hasan knocks into your hand accidentally as the three of you step backwards and ooh and awe over the spooky pumpkins, Amelie giggling wildly and running around about them.

hasan calls for dinner, Amelie racing in and he knocks shoulders with you, “for the record, i think you won.”

and your face flushes pink the entire time you stand in line behind Amelie, a small plastic bowl in your hand as hasan gently serves you the soup he made, follow him to the table and you eat quietly next to him (“delicious, hasan. really.” “I told you.” he teases back with a smirk and a wink)

the oven beeps and you help clean up the table as Amelie gets pajamas on, hasan serves a small bowl of pumpkin seeds and you three pad into the front room, where he puts on a charlie brown halloween, Amelie on his lap, half falling asleep.

it’s late, when it’s time to leave, and you’re trying to hand back the shirt (“keep it,” hasan laughs, “looks better on you, anyways.”) putting the coat he insists you wear, even though your house is literally in eyesight.

his coat is too big on you but he wraps Amelie up in a blanket on his hip, insists he walks you home, his hand keeps knocking into yours, clumsy the whole time.

you bother linger on your porch, until Amelie stirs, whimpers, a nightmare on the horizon as he says goodnight, promises to text you soon.

the entire time walking back all he can hear is the sing songy voice in the back of his head, yelling at him for being an idiot; should’ve kissed them. should’ve kissed them. should’ve kissed them. should’ve-

#caroline writes #hasanabi #hasanabi x reader #hasanabi x y/n #hasanabi x you #hasan #hasan piker x you #hasan x reader #hasan piker fanfic #hasan piker fanfiction #hasan piker fic #hasan piker imagine #hasan piker x reader #hasan piker

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peejsocks · 2 years

Note

pleaseeeee do jealous bam i’m begging and pleading

LOVE ur work

a/n: thank you ❤️‍🩹

i am so sorry for this he is my wattpad bf

jealous bam hcs

first of all it goes both ways

but bam is a jealous boyfriend

he’s jealous of everybody, no one is safe

no matter the gender, if you’re friends or strangers, he will not allow anyone else to be your #1

not the type to start a screaming match over it, rather actually beg for your attention in a very stupid way

it’s flattering

his jealousy is comparable to that of a kid who sees their mother hugging another child for the first time and feels betrayed

before you started dating, he would pretend to not care just to see if you were paying attention to him deliberately

if you weren’t, he’d do that thing where he comes up to you and starts headbanging so you look at him

or laugh obnoxiously loud so you’d want to see what was funny ? maybe ? 👉🏻👈🏻

he loves so much when you laugh with him, of course he proportionately hates when you laugh at someone else’s joke

it could be the jackass or cky boys, if pontius or dico make you chuckle he’ll immediately tackle them to the ground

and then you’re laughing at him squirming on the floor and crouching down beside him asking if he’s okay, oh now all’s good :)

because your eyes are crinkly and your hands are closing around his biceps to help him up

his chest grows 3 sizes when that happens

he’s obssessed with stealing your attention from others and of course his friends notice

ryan loves to tease him the most, constantly putting his arm around your neck from behind and picking you for his team in challenges (like the treasure hunt)

he hates it so much, begrudgingly accepting he has to win so your focus is back on him

oh he will win now

he is obviously very competitive, proud when he gets to tell you “next time, you’re on my team. you deserve to know what it’s like to win ;)”

(the times you are on his team he is so excited, even more restless than usual, constantly asking for your input and making you co-captain)

he finds out ryan tried to get you to flash the camera in the treasure hunt even though it wasn’t on the list and gets sooooo mad

“just ask her out already jfc” - ryan

cky spreading the gossip around the jackass guys to push bam’s buttons

i’ve said it before bam would be extremely jealous of knox, and it’s your friendship with the southerner that finally gets you two together

“johnny! 🥰” - you and april everytime knox shows up in west chester

“hiya, doll” = butthurt bam

“i don’t trust it, man. you shouldn’t either.” “why not?” “do you want to go out sometime?” “…what? did i miss something?”

ofc you say yes and you start dating soon after

everyone is so relieved and not at all surprised

“that’s right, none of you fuckers can do anything about it” - bam, the only one with a defensive attitude about it

his jealousy doesn’t change much, however

def uses the excuse of a camera to show you off and refer to you as “his” all the time

because of you being in vlb, you get a lot of public attention and people trying to hit on you

he will put his finger in faces and start fights

“you pulled that? just saying you come off as a pretty shitty boyfriend, margera. bet i could do better”

holding his hand to try and prevent a brawl but it’s too late

impossible to stay mad at him when you’re attending to his bruises and he asks if he is a bad boyfriend

* nsfw hcs below *

reassuring he’s the best with some +18 activities, trying to be careful with his busted lip

he melts under your praises, cock twitching and hot white liquid dripping down your legs

he sits with you afterwards, holding you in his lap and running his hands over your body, repeating that he is glad to have you

when he finds out the biggest mistake of your life, having an ex’s name tattoed on your back (you were 18 and trying to be rebellious), he’s persistent in fucking you from behind and biting over the inked lettering until it’s purple

“think you learned your lesson?” “for now, but i might need a reminder”

ngl i have so many thoughts on this i just don’t want to make it too long thank you for reading this far

#bam margera x reader #jackass fanfic #bam margera headcanon

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svucarisiaddict · 2 years

Text

y/n is stablers daughter (maybe richard and Lizzie had a triplet?? Idk she was besties w olivia before she moved w her parents to Italy) and she met sonny when she moved back for college and maybe he introduces her to the team at their engagement dinner (both of their families are there too) and liv realizes that it’s her and they have a cute reunion

and there’s also lil bits and pieces of her and sonnys relationship (maybe a little bit of Elliot being a super protective dad)

I changed this from Elliot's daughter to his younger sister :)

One second you were looking in a shop window, the next you were sprawled on the sidewalk with the contents of your purse scattered in front of you. The man that knocked you down didn’t even turn around to look at you.

“No, excuse me,” you mumbled to yourself.

“Are you okay?” a man asked you. He gently grasped your elbow helping you stand.

You assessed your injuries which were a scraped elbow and knee. “Uh- I think I’m okay,” you answered. “Nothing major.”

“Here,” he said, handing your purse along with your belongings back to you.

“Thank you, um…,” you started.

“Dominick but friends call me Sonny,” said with a smile. “And you’re welcome.”

The man grinned and you lost all the air in your lungs. He was gorgeous. His blue eyes sparkled and when he smiled his eyes crinkled at the corners. The dimples. Have mercy on your soul. His dimples made you weak in the knees..

You shook your head. “Sonny. I’m Y/N.”

“You need to clean these up,” Sonny instructed, looking at your lacerations.

“It’s nothing,” you insisted.

He furrowed his brow. “This one looks to be bleeding quite a bit,” he commented. “I have a first aid kit in my car.” He directed you to a bench. “Wait here. I’ll grab it.”

Sonny jogged down the street to his car. He was tall, slim, and agile and you couldn’t stop watching him.

The phone ringing in your purse made you jump. “Hello?”

“Hey, kid. Where are you?” your brother Elliot asked.

You bristled at the nickname. Elliot had called you ‘kid’ since you could remember. It drove you bonkers. A fact he Elliot knew, hence why he still used it.

“On my way. Fell and have a couple of scraps,” you told him.

“Where are you? I’ll pick you up.” You heard the frustration in his voice.

“No. No. It’s fine. Sonny is helping me,” you informed him. About that time Sonny reappeared with the first aid kit.

“Who the hell is Sonny?” Elliot asked with a bit of panic in his voice.

“He stopped to help me,” you said.

Sonny held up the kit. “Alright. Got it.”

“Y/N! What have I told you about talking to strangers?” Elliot demanded. “Do I need to remind you that you’re in New York City now?”

The overprotective brother as always. You knew he meant well and his overprotectiveness was a product of his years on the job so you tried to appease him. But sometimes you just couldn’t help yourself but goad him.

“Nope. I’m totally oriented,” you responded. “ Well, he doesn’t look like a serial killer.”

Sonny gave you a questioning look to which you winked at him.

“Y/N. I swear…” Elliot huffed.

“I’m sorry, I was just joking,” you relented. “I’ll be back shortly.”

“Text me when you’re on your way,” Elliot said. “Love you. Bye.”

“Will do,” you assured him. “Bye. Love you too.”

“Boyfriend?” Sonny asked as he cleaned the cut on your knee.

“Oww. No. My big brother. He’s a little overbearing at times,” you explained.

Sonny blew on the cut, put ointment on it then applied a band-aid. “I have a younger sister and two older sisters and I am very protective. It’s in the job description,” he joked.

“Obviously,” you responded. “Elliot was a detective, well still is just in a different capacity.”

Sonny brightened. “Oh, yeah? I was a detective as well.”

“Really? Here in New York or somewhere else?” you inquired.

As Sonny was going to answer your question his phone pinged, then pinged again. “Sorry. That’s work.”

“No problem. I need to get going anyway. Thanks again, Sonny,” you said, picking up your purse.

“You’re welcome. Uh, here’s my card. Maybe we can meet up sometime for coffee,” he suggested.

“I’d like that,” you said, accepting the business card. “I’ll text you so you have my number too.”

He grinned, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “Looking forward to hearing from you.”

“I’m home!” you called out. Right now “home” was a hotel suite. It was unclear how much longer Elliot would stick around. He was working through Kathy’s death. All of you were. Kathy had been one of your best friends but that was nothing compared to the loss felt by Elliot and the kids.

Elliot looked around the corner of the kitchen. “About time. I was about to call the commissioner.”

You rolled your eyes. “I got everything finished for school.” After obtaining your CRNA, you decided to continue your education and get your doctorate. “And I found an apartment. I’m going to sign papers tomorrow.”

“Whoa. What a minute. Where is the apartment?” he asked.

“Hamilton Heights. It’s an upstairs, 1 bedroom. I’ll show you the pictures,” you offered. “It’s really nice. Great neighborhood.”

“Let me see,” Elliot grumbled. He swiped through the pictures. “I thought we were going to look at it together?”

“I had to sign today or someone else would have taken it,” you explained. “You worry too much.”

Elliot sighed. “I’ll never stop worrying,” he said softly then kissed the crown of your head.

“I know,” you answered.

Before you moved in Elliot installed a heavy-duty chain and deadbolt on the door, replaced several of the window locks, and surveyed the outside of the building. The next day he went undercover and had been since. Maureen and Kathleen went back to Italy, Dickie and Elizabeth moved to California and Jr went to live with your mom.

The solitude was nice at first but you quickly got lonely. You hadn’t made any significant friendships with anyone at work yet, or at school.

One evening, a couple of weeks after moving in, the central air went out in your apartment so you decided to go for a walk and explore the neighborhood. You had meant to do it sooner but work and school had you pretty busy.

As you rounded the corner, you saw Sonny sitting outside one of the sidewalk bistros. He was as beautiful as the first time you saw him.

“You here alone?” you asked when you walked up to the table.

“Not now that you’re here,” he replied with a grin. Sonny stood and pulled out the chair across from him.

“Thanks,” you said, returning his smile. “What brings you to my neighborhood?”

“Your neighborhood? I’ve loved here for six years. You’re on my territory missy,” he said in return.

“We gonna have a turf war?” you joked.

Sonny smirked. “For you, I’ll make an exception.”

That evening turned into days, weeks, and months. A chance meeting turned into a friendship that blossomed into love. Sonny was the best thing to happen to you in a long time. You were one lucky girl.

Your cat, Humphrey, jumped onto your lap. You stroked his long, soft fur. He purred in appreciation. When you were trying to figure out dinner your phone pinged. It was a text from Sonny.

‘I miss you. I hope you had a great day.’ It was followed by a five heart emojis

‘Miss you too.’ Typically Sonny came over for dinner or you went to his place. He told you at the beginning of the week that he would be swamped with a case, so you bought TV dinners to make every night. It wasn’t that you couldn’t cook, you didn’t like to cook for just yourself.

‘Need a big favor. Can you go to my apartment and pick up a file for me? I’m sorry. It’s a lot to ask.’

He had forgotten files before and sent someone from the court to get them so you were caught off guard but agreed. ‘Of course. I’ll bring you dinner.’ You were giddy with the thought of actually getting to see your boyfriend.

‘Thanks, doll. Love you lots!’

‘Love you too, Sonny.’

“Crap,” you muttered to yourself as you fished in your purse for the key to Sonny’s apartment. “Where the hell is it?” You sigh in relief when your search was successful. The key slid into the lock and turned easily.

“Couldn’t find your key, huh?” Sonny asked.

“Jesus, Mary and Joseph,” you gasped, clutching your chest. “What are you doing here?”

Sonny grinned and gestured around. “Well, I live here.”

“I thought that…” you trailed off when you actually took the time to look around the room. “What is all this?” There were flowers, candles, and a bucket with a bottle of champagne on the table.

Sonny went to one knee then pulled a small box from his pocket and our hand went to your mouth. He cleared his throat. “I can’t put into words how much I love you. I love you in ways that I have never loved anyone before. I want to build a life with you. Will you marry me?” Sonny opened the velvet-lined box to reveal a stunning cushion cut diamond solitaire set in a platinum pave band.

“Oh, Sonny! Of course, I’ll marry you!” you exclaimed.

Sonny took your hand. His hand trembled slightly as he slid it on your finger. When he looked up at you he had tears in his eyes that matched yours. Sonny stood and gathered you in his arms.

“I love you so much, Sonny,” you said as your arms wrapped around his neck.

“Not as much as I love you,” he whispered into your ear.

“Y/N?” Liv asked when you walked into the restaurant that was holding your engagement party.

“Liv! It’s so good to see you,” you said as the two of you embraced. The last you saw Liv was at Kathy’s funeral and it wasn’t a pleasant exchange between her and Eliott or the kids.

Sonny furrowed his brow. “You already know one another?”

“Yeah. My brother, Eliott, and Liv were partners for years,” you explained.

Liv released you then playfully punched Sonny’s arm. “You're the one he helped after you got knocked over, right? He has been talking about you non-stop.”

“Why didn’t you tell me Liv was your old captain?” you asked.

Sonny rubbed the spot on his arm that Liv hit. “I didn’t realize-”

“If it isn’t Y/N,” Fin said, embracing you as Liv did.

The evening was fantastic. You reconnected with people you hadn’t seen for years and made new friends. It hit you then, this was your family and you would never be alone.

#sonny carisi #sonny carisi x reader #elliot stabler #prompt #sister

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bad-luck-clover · 2 years

Text

SPOILERS FOR STRANGER THINGS SEASON 4 VOL. 2

Okay I haven’t posted in forever but but I was literally crying this morning over the Stranger Things Finale before I even watched it so here are my two cents:

Why the fuck is the message of season 4 “don’t be honest about who you are or what you’re struggling with or it’ll hurt/kill you no matter what you do?” Because that’s the point this finale seemed to make.

Will started to open up to Mike about his feelings, albeit in a very indirect way, and that just resulted in Mike pursuing El even further. And even after all of that Mike and El still aren’t actually talking and Will has still been demoted from main character and plot catalyst to the sad gay side character that’s sometimes a monster detector??? So I guess Will just has to continue hiding who he is while he watches his sister and friend/crush continue their codependent and ultimately stagnant relationship and he’s once again being tossed aside in favor of a character that was supposed to die season 1. I mean I love El, but come on, they’re treating Will like he’s completely irrelevant now.

Max started coming to terms with her trauma and mental health, started opening up to her friends finally and was rekindling her relationship with Lucas. She was obviously hurting after Billy died and it was even mentioned that she was suicidal, but she fought to stay alive and get back to her friends who she loves. It was such an obvious metaphor of battling mental illness and Max’s character arc in the first part of the season was so amazing to watch. But no, apparently it doesn’t matter if you fight through the struggles of mental illness and seek help from your support group, the trauma monster is just gonna torture and literally break you anyway, sorry.

And Lucas, despite finally standing up to Jason after trying so hard to fit in and be part of his group, got beat up and then watch the girl he clearly loves be mutilated right in front of him and then put into a coma.

I mean even Robin, who’s still understandably deep in the closet, started to open up a tiiiiiiny bit and had hope for her potential relationship with Vickie and then immediately saw her kissing a guy. But the second she gives up on that and steps a bit further back in the closet? Oh, Vickie broke up with him, thanks for not coming out Robin, you get a cookie.

And Eddie. I do not understand how they could kill the one character who was always 100% unapologetically himself the entire time we saw him. He was labeled a freak and later a psychotic devil-worshipping murderer and yet he never changed who he was to please anyone or even lashed out at the people who wanted to hurt him. Not to mention he’s queer-coded as hell and I seriously doubt that was unintentional. I mean if you’re writing a period show and you do research about 80s culture and especially subcultures and outcasted groups for Eddie specifically, why would you give his character a black bandana in his back pocket if you’re not trying to imply that he’s queer? He was always true to who he was, he protected the kids who reminded him of himself when they were lost and being picked on. He was nice to everyone as long as they weren’t an asshole and he ultimately fought to save his friends and all the people who hated him. And what did he get? He got brutally, painfully killed while the entire town still believed he was a monster and no one besides Dustin and his uncle, not even the other people he fought with in the upside down, mourned or even acknowledged him.

It’s so infuriating that Max and Will (and Robin and Lucas to a lesser extent) suffered and were hurt because they were beginning to open up. But Eddie has always been open and nothing was going to make him start pretending to be someone else so he just straight up died. The one person who was always honest and never lied about who he was and they killed him for shock value. Like am I just reading into this too much or does that literally send a message of “if you start to open up you’ll get hurt. And don’t even try to fully be your true self, because look what’ll happen”

And yeah, sometimes life is cruel and you get hurt unjustly for just being who you are. But this is a fictional tv show where children fight off monsters. A show who’s main audience are the very outcasts they’re now sidelining and killing off in favor of more conventionally “typical” characters. I relate to Will, Robin, Max, and Eddie the most out of all these characters and now I’m being made to watch them suffer for all the reasons I relate to them so much.

Mike and El are still in a pretty unhealthy and unbalanced relationship and they’re fine. Jonathan and Nancy are still lying to each other and refusing to communicate and they’re fine. Steve, as much as I love him, is still pining after Nancy without actually directly talking to her (which, sidenote, is just a huge disservice to his otherwise fantastic character arc imo) and yeah he’s hurting seeing her with Jonathan again but he’s ultimately fine. The only people who really suffered are the only ones who have stopped lying about who they are or what they’re struggling with or who never did so in the first place.

How can you write the line “Forced conformity, that’s what’s killing the kids. That’s the real monster” and then punish the handful of characters who are trying to break away from that conformity? Why the hell, in a show that used to be all about outcasts forming relationships and fighting monsters against all the odds not in spite of being different, but because they’re different, are those very characters being hurt and punished for not being like everyone else?

Like, I’m just so fed up and tired. This show is legitimately ruined for me now, and it’s not because a character I liked died or the ship I was rooting for didn’t happen. It’s because I look at these characters I relate to being tormented and hurt for being queer or neurodivergent or having trauma, things that I experience/struggle with myself, and the message I hear is “What you are is wrong and bad things will happen to you because of it. You deserve to hurt because of what you are and you will never be safe or happy.” And that fucking kills me, especially since this was a show I loved so much just yesterday and now I can’t even stand to watch it.

#stranger things #stranger things spoilers #vol 2 spoilers #this is so fucking long but i'm devastated and still processing #i was prepared to be let down but not THIS BAD #long post #will byers #mike wheeler #eleven #max mayfield #robin buckley #lucas sinclair #eddie munson #nancy wheeler #jonathan byers #also erica is an obvious exception to this #she is unapologetic and untouchable by death

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aajjks · 5 months

Note

TPOL!JK

“alright, alright mr. jeon. i will officially discharge you from the hospital but you are to attend your physical therapy appointments until your next check up” and jungkook is ecstatic to officially be discharged from the hospital. you’re excited too but since you and jungkook aren’t talking, he’s conversing more with his mother than you while you try to rock jaemin back to sleep.

you don’t really say much and you can tell jungkook is obviously ignoring you and if he wants to treat you like a third wheel, then you don’t mind leaving the two by themselves to celebrate.

“ji-ae, can you take jaemin?”

“of course. why?”

“yerin needs me” you say before handing her the sleeping infant and pressing a kiss to his cheek before grabbing your stuff and leaving. honestly, you made up a petty excuse to leave. your meeting with yerin isn’t until another 3 hours but if he wants to give you the silent treatment then why stick around?

“why, hello stranger. fancy seeing you yet again”

“oh, hey”

“why the long face? is everything okay?”

“yeah, just tired”

here you are yet again talking to the same stranger from yesterday. as much as you just want to rush out of the hospital, you don’t mind his company even if it’s temporary.

“so stranger—“

“you know you can just ask for my name right?”

“but that ruins the fun in your nickname”

“calling me stranger is fun?”

“yeah! it’s a resident evil 4 reference. i used to play that game all of the time when i was a kid”

“resident? what is that?”

“WHAAAT?!! oh c’mon stranger, you don’t know resident evil? and here i thought you were a dork like me”

“i am a dork but not a resident evil dork” you chuckle.

“yeah, i think i like that way better”

“like what?”

“your smile. you look better with a smile on your face”

“so you’re saying i looked hideous before i smiled? wow, such a charmer aren’t ya?”

“nononono! i never meant it like that!”

“hahaha, i’m just screwing with ya…a little”

“so before our short conversation ends, what’s your name stranger?”

“y/n. yours?”

“jackson. pretty cool name am i right?”

“it’s also pretty common, am i right?”

“ooohhh, you sound like a hater”

“and you sound delusional”

“DELUSIONAL?!!! oh, i am so offended right now” jackson jokes holding his chest which again brings a smile to your face. “alright alright, i’ll see you around y/n the stranger”

“you too jackson”

with that, you were once again departed from a new friend by the name of jackson. you’re hoping to see him again soon but your main focus is to call either yerin or jorja to vent your feelings as you drove back home. to your dismay, jorja doesn’t pick up but luckily, yerin does.

“UGHHHH I KNEW HE WOULD FUCK UP AGAIN! seriously, y/n what is it that you see in him? he’s a horrible human being, a fucking murderer, gaslighter, and is just childish. i love you and all, but you aren’t really going to marry him right? i can’t afford to see you marry someone like him”

so you told yerin some things but she easily puts two and two together. she already knows it was jungkook who killed jaekuk and she’s certain he killed chaeyoung and namjoon too.

in yerin’s eyes, you stayed by his side through all his fuck ups. you’re literally raising his child and accepting jaemin as yours so instead of acting like a grown man and consoling you, he chooses the childish route and ignores your entire existence.

“no seriously, don’t marry him y/n. he doesn’t love you, he loves that you enable him to whatever he wants with your feelings because you always come back. you’re a marshmallow until you leave and even when you left, you still came back. why do you think he got chaeyoung pregnant? he knew you’d stay around and guess what? you did. i love you and all but please, open your eyes y/n. he doesn’t love you…how about this, pack your stuff and we can spend time together before the wedding, okay? jorja can come too”

“okay…”

As he’s about to leave the hospital, he’s looking for you, where are you? Maybe you got a little upset because he gave you the cold treatment?

Yeah, he feels like an asshole for that but seriously how can you not see that he’s done it all for you? You make him feel like he should be held accountable for what he’s done? And now he just wants to spend his entire life with you and his son- and maybe even the family that you two will be able to grow with the right timing.

So, Jungkook decides to excuse himself, while his mother fills out some paperwork maybe it’s got something to do with the discharge, he has to call you and find out where you are.

He takes out his phone and dials your number, Jaemin is with his mother, so he has nothing to worry about, but- where did you go? Jungkooks holding the phone to his ear hoping you’ll pick up soon.

And you do, thankfully. It really thought that he had pissed you off more than he should have or planned to do. So he’s got a smile on his face as he hears your voice.

“Yn… where are you? We’re supposed to go together remember?” He speaks in a calm tone. And yes, his shoulder is still a little sore. And he is really sleepy..

#ask: tpol!jungkook #DUDE YERİN AND YN PISSING ME OFF

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daddysfangirls-anime · 1 year

Text

Mini Captain

Pairing: Levi x fem! child! reader

Summary: Levi’s got a daughter. Nobody knows this, except for Hanji and Erwin, until one day she shows up unexpectedly. Who knew Levi could be so sweet.

Woah this place is huge

(y/n) though as she took a peak from under the supplies she was hiding in.

In a desperate attempt to see her father little lady (y/n) decided to hide in a supply cart said to be going his way. Amazingly she made it without getting caught. Now she had to get out and into the castle with out getting caught ."Stealth mode" (y/n) whispered as she jumped out of the cart and behind a stack of hay. There were more people here than she thought. This was going to be difficult

(y/n) found an opened window checking for a clear go she climbed in.

I’m in.

“hey, what are you doing here”

I’m out.

(y/n)tried to climb back out the window but it was too late. The man pulled her from the window "come here, kid. How'd you get here? what are you doing?" the man gripped her wrist and pulled her along. (y/n) was saying anything for reasons as the man dragged her down the hall stranger danger, she was scared, and was obviously in trouble.

"you've got nothing to say. That alright I'll take you to commander Erwin and he'll deal with you." (y/n) was a bit relieved now knowing she was going to her uncle/ commander Erwin. He wouldn't be me, right? Regardless of who she was going to she kicked, punched, and clawed at him, she would've to bite but she had no clue where he's been, he was cutting the blood circulation from her wrist. People looked at them confused and amused as they watched his struggle with her, she was roaring like an animal. It was strange a little girl in flowery dress boots and a bow being dragged by a man.

"commander" the man called out seeing commander walking with a cadet "I found this child trying to sneak in, what do you want to do with her?" (y/n) goes limp as the man picks her up. Erwin raised his enormously bush eyebrow at her.

"Hi" (y/n) said looking at Erwin upside down.

"Hi," he said "put her down I'll take care of her" as the man set her on the floor (y/n) took her hand. The man watched as his commander walked away with the girl skipping at his side he was left confused for the rest of the day. Erwin took (y/n) outside where the rest of cadet stood to wait for roll call.

Erwin didn’t ask her how she got here the faint smell of alcohol made it clear she came in with the supply carts. He instructed her to go stand in roll call with the other cadets in between Connie and Sasha. Everyone was confused, what was a child doing here? why was she in line? Why was she with Erwin? did she have relation to him? No one really had time to ponder over their questions before Levi arrived.

Levi took attends and inspected the uniforms and salutes as he called names. " Braus" he called he looked her up and down. She was good. " Ackerman" he called Mikasa stepped forward "Sir" "not you, her, " he said pointing to (y/n). Squatting down to her level he fixed her salute and bows then moved on to the next cadet.

"all of you 15 laps Little Ackerman 5, now all of you get to running" (y/n) took off running with the rest of the cadet she casually talked to them as she tried to keep up pace alongside them.

Levi ran a hand through his hair and sighed "when did she get here?" "a few minutes ago along with the supplies. Nobody noticed" Erwin said smirking

"why am I not surprised?"

"because she's a mini version of you. Just with more emotions" Erwin teased "she wants to see daddy"

"you're not funny, You extra tall shit"

After 4 laps little (y/n) gave up on running and collapsed dramatically on her face to the side, she didn’t want anyone stepping on her.The running this was not new she offend trained with her father running, exercising, combat lessons, talking and show of gears. Levi did as much as he could with a little 4-year-old. Which meant two laps and she was done, touching toes turned into ' watch me roll', a punch in the arm was a head-butt to the dick, and showing off gear let to 'let me try'. This was not new it was actually normal, (y/n) was a mini soldier in training (not that her father or uncle would ever allow her to see battle).

"are you okay?" (y/n) rolled over and looked up to see 4 people above her Sasha and Connie from the line and two blonds both small one was obviously a girl and the other ....it was a mystery.

"are you okay?" the mystery asked (y/n) nodded "do you need help?" the blond girl asked

"you've been faced down for a long time everyone was a bit worried," Connie said "would you like to finish our last lap with us" he offered his hand

"okay" (y/n) said taking his hand she as took Sasha's hand and the three jogged while holding hands, kind of like a family. So cute.

"I'm (y/n) Ackerman" she introduced herself "Connie " "Sasha " "Christa" "Armin" ah so it is a boy.

The five ran across the finish with a cheer. During combat and gear training she was sidelined. Actually she ended up playing tag with Connie and Sasha during combat trains.

Levi had yet to speak to her he didn’t even ask how she got here or why she was here.His silences scared (y/n) made her believe she was in trouble. She wondered how angry he was last time he was full on angry with her was the time she had snuck into the underground because she wanted to see where he grew up. He spent an hour yelling and her and more just holding her. She remembered that built up he didn't yell at her until an entire day after the incident. He wasn't talking to her now and she had already been here a few hours. oh, this was going to be bad.

Levi had told Erwin he was going to return to his office and that he could finish training the cadets. (y/n) was scared as she followed her father to his office. She had not thought this plan through. Entering his office and closing the door Levi took a behind his desk and began to do paperwork. "sit" he said motioning to the couch she took a seat "I already know how you got here. Now the question is why are you here?" Levi didn't look up from his paperwork as he talked.

"you hadn't written home in a while and my birthday was coming up soon and I wanted to see you." (y/n) said in a shy voice Levi opened his desk and pulled out a sealed envelope "I was going to send it today. And I would have never missed your birthday I already got your gifted."

"really?! What is it, what is it"

"you'll have to wait and see". The rest of the time spent in Levi's office was just talking and working, Levi did paperwork (y/n) drew pictures.Levi appreciated that his daughter was born with a small voice, very quiet. Most children at birth cried all the time and were very messy, not (y/n) she was a little angel. Until she got to the terrible twos and the ability to walk at that time she was a little too adventurous Levi could not count how many times he had literally lost his daughter. But it was nothing he couldn't handle.

She was a mirror image of Levi and her mother. Clean and quiet like Levi shied away from most human connected but so bright and loveable like her mother so sweet cared for every and anyone. There were also Jokes about being like her aunt and uncle. She had a lust for knowledge about any and everything like aunt Hanji, the girl had a collection of books on her bookshelves at home to prove it. She was also very determined just like her Uncle Erwin if she wanted or need something no matter how she got she wouldn't stop until she got it. A little bundle of joy for every one she was.

Levi looked up from his paperwork to see (y/n) on the floor she had a neat stack of pictures next to her. They must have been there for a long time. The sunset proved this.

"Hey Brat, let's head down for dinner. Let you meet my squad " Levi said

"Squad Levi" (y/n) squealed as she took followed her father. He chuckled.

Walking into the dining hall all conversation stopped as Levi walked in. He walked in head held high, as usual, he used to things getting quite when he entered up not silent, this was new. He thought they were looking at him. Actually, they were looking at his mini-me who wore his cloak.

He folded his arms she folds her arms he glared around she glared around he goes 'tch' "what are you looking at ?" "tussh what are you looking at" she tries to repeat failing. Levi looks back at her and waves her forward the get their dinner and sit with his squad. The dining conversations began again.

As the two sat down Levi was explain the sound he had to her 'tch' she goes finally getting it right "there you go" Levi praises her. Levi squad doesn't say anything just stare at their little visitor waiting for their captain to explain.

"Everyone this is my daughter (y/n)" Levi said," (Y/n) this Petra, Erd, Oluo, and Gunter say hi"

"Hi Hi I'm (y/n) Ackerman," she says before stuffing her face with food

"you've got a daughter, " Oluo said in disbelieve. No one could believe the great heartless Captain Levi Humanity's Strongest had a kid a little girl. A sweet one at that, an angel. It was like she was the complete opposed of Levi but his twin at the same time. Levi found their reaction hilarious along with the way (y/n) answered their questions. Amusing enough to make him give a small smile.

Everything seemed to be going peacefully everyone was minding their own business, sure there was chanter about (y/n) but nothing bad. But then she came she was something no one was ever prepared for she was uncontrollable they assigned a handler to her but not even he could control her. Busting into the dining hall she let out a monstrosity of a roar "(Y/N) " racing to their table Levi tried to hide her but it was to let she had picked up her scent, the child was doomed. Levi whispered into her ear "you're on your own kid" before scudding as far as he could away from her. Everyman for themselves.

"(Y/N)" Hanji ran quickly to their table Commander Erwin behind her, you could see the sympathy in his face poor child "Oh my (y/n) it's been too long how is my pretty intelligent baby I've missed you so".

(y/n) didn't fight back as her aunt suffocated her she knew better than to do that Hanji would calm down eventually and she breathe again. Last time she had fought against Hanji's hug Hanji thought she didn't love her and stopped talking to her, that was horrible.

"Hanji I don't think she's breathing" Uncle Erwin was her saver the time, Hanji notice and set her down" how much have you putting her back now

"like this much " (y/n) opened her arms wide "How much have you missed Daddy," Levi asked

"my arms aren't that big" Levi smirked knowing he was loved more than Hanji.

Dinner continued on everyone talked and got to know (y/n). Levi like this his squad getting to know his daughter she really seemed to like them. Levi knew that tomorrow he'd get shit from your mother for not taking you home as soon as he found you but he was going to take the punishment it was totally worth this moment. You were happy and save nothing else matter. You were with him.

After (y/n) fell asleep at the table Levi decided it was bedtime. Those who were left over watched as Levi carried sweet (y/n) to away. It was adorable watching the Captain with his daughter no one would have thought he had a soft side let alone any family.

Hanji stood at the door with Erwin as they watched Levi get (y/n) ready for bed it was funny watching (y/n) fight to keep her eyes open as she brushed her teeth. It was also so pure and heartwarming to watch Levi do something so domestic and caring.

"she'll have to go home tomorrow," Hanji said as she helped Levi tuck her in bed she was already fast asleep " I know. A day wasn't enough" Levi confessed as he kissed her forehead.

"Maybe I could schedule some time off for you or for her to come visit. I'm not trying to take you away from your family Levi if you want to go to them all you have to do is ask" Erwin said, he had already scheduled a few days off for Levi to see his family after he found (y/n) had arrived on her own.

"Thank you," Levi said as he tucked himself into bed "now get out" Hanji giggled kissing both Levi and (y/n) cheeks then blowing out the lights.

"good night, Levi"

"night, shorty"

"night eyebrows, shitty glasses"

Today was definitely not enough. Oh, how he wished he had more time with her to let you get to know his squad his place of work why he wasn't home. But time was always limited. two weeks from now they would be going on an expedition outside the walls he had a bad feeling about this one. He wished he had more time with her just enough time so that if he weren't to come back her wouldn't forget his face. Of course, she wouldn't forget the things he did because she did them to but he feared you'd forget his face. he didn't want to leave her but he also wanted her safe and he knew only he could keep every on everyone safe.

Pulling you to his chest Levi kissed her forehead sweetly and squeeze she tightly " I love you" he whispered knowing she was asleep, or so he thought.

"I love you too, daddy" (y/n) mumbled as she nuzzled herself into her father's neck to sleep.

He smiled in the dark a real genuine smile, that's what he needed to hear.

"night night Captain" he chuckled

"night night mini Captain"

A mini Captain she was indeed.

#attack on titan #attack on titan fanfiction #aot fanfiction #AoT #snk anime #snk fanfiction #snk #LEVI ACKERMAN #Levi fanfiction #Daughter

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house-of-slayterr · 2 years

Text

TW: Self Harm

Don't read if you're triggered by details involving self-harm behaviour. I promise I'm doing fine right now, sometimes it just feels good to say stuff out loud, or through writing.

So as you guys know, at least where I am, 2 hours from now it will officially be my birthday. Most people get really excited about this, but birthdays have always been kind of stressful for me. They were more an excuse for my mom to get drunk and invite her friends over than they were fun for me. I never really got to choose what to do for my birthday.

Last year, my birthday was really rough. Don't get me wrong, I had a lot of fun on the day, and my bestie took me out shopping. But the night before was awful. I had a panic attack so bad that I "Jokered" My face. Or "Jeff the Killered" It, however, you want to describe it. But I cut a smile into my skin because every time I looked in the mirror I couldn't bring myself to be happy. That was a really low point for me.

I was really surprised how easily I was able to hide the cuts from my parents, the mask mandate for sure helped. But the day after, when I was in a clear head space again, I obviously regretted it. And with my medical knowledge, I was able to help my scars heal pretty well. They are almost not even noticeable among the acne scars on my face, and they're easy to edit out in pictures.

But I know they're there, I always know they're there. I have to see them every time I look in the mirror. I can feel them when I touch my face. And I hate them, they make me feel so weak. Especially since I can't even really say why I did it. I have no way to explain how I was feeling that night, or why my brain thought that was a rational conclusion. And that's kinda how I feel about most of my scars.

I don't feel like I ever had a "good enough" reason to hurt myself. Even though there is obviously never a good reason. But they make me feel like a "Poser" sometimes, because honestly, sometimes I just do it when I'm bored or understimulated. I'm working really hard on getting better, and I do talk to my therapist about it. So things are going well. But scars are permanent reminders that I fucked up.

This is one of the reasons I hate the summer. Because of my health conditions, I can't handle the heat. Which means I can't hide from anyone. My scars are on full display, and I hate when strangers ask about them. But my body is on display in another way in the summer. My dysphoria gets so bad because everyone can see my full hips and thick things. I can't hide my small waist in layers of clothing, and Right now it's not safe for me to bind. So everyone can tell I'm a "Woman" in the summer and I hate it.

I don't think my body is very nice to look at. But I'm working on that. And all the compliments you guys give me on here, mean everything to me. You guys are always so sweet and caring, and you make me feel worthy of being here. I fight very hard every day because I want to be here for all of you, with all of you. I want to share in your sad moments, to help take the load off. I want to rejoice in your happy moments and celebrate all of you! You guy makes me very happy, which is why I feel this year will be different.

So here's looking at 21, it's staring me in the face. And no matter how scary or intimidating it is, I know I have all of you to cheer me along the way. It's weird to be seen legally as an adult when you're still just a scared little kid in your head. So tomorrow I'm gonna get up, put on some makeup and a cute outfit. I don't care what gender other people see me as, just for one day. And then I'm gonna go pick up my cake with my dad. Hang out with my bestie and watch a cool new horror movie. And see my brother at the end of the day. I still have physical therapy tomorrow, so I'm gonna work my ass off, so I can keep getting better.

Thank you all for being here with me this year. It's made a world of difference and I cannot thank you enough. There aren't enough words in any language to describe how much I love and adore and admire each and every one of you. You're all special, and you all deserve to be here just as much as I do. We'll get through this together, I promise!

#sh #sh scars #old scars #healing #getting better #mental health tips #mental illness #mental breakdown #severe breakdown #trauma #old trauma #birthday trauma #birthday eve #I hate my birthday

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zzzallnite · 2 years

Text

Playground creep

A beautiful but warm summer day. I am just having my afternoon tea break and of enjoying the scene outside of the window: an afterschool playground full of kids playing behind the line of oak trees across the street. But, like a dark cloud of thunderstorm that suddenly comes out of nowhere, I notice a broad man, a little bit on the older side, leaning against the wall of the house next to the playground, watching over the children...

The worst of thoughts are just going over and over in my head... Is this man...?

I carefully examine the man before drawing a conclusion. He has a dad-type of body, but much more well-built. His blue plaid shirt looks slightly damped due to the heat, and if not for the three buttons unfastened, it would hug his chest so tightly. Even from my window I can see how much skin he is showing off to the public, including his cheap, dull necklace that shapes like a feather. Really, in front of the children? Where is his decency? (But honestly, if I look that good, I would do it too). Meanwhile, his sleeves are rolled up and it’s like, he’s posing with his hands in his pocket, and legs crossed like a typical macho man. But I wouldn’t suspect a thing if not for his massive erection he’s having under that thin white trousers.

“That’s it!”, I talk to myself as I gather all of my gut and rush down the stairs, to the direction of the peeper. But the image of that buff man makes me realize that I need something to defend myself. (The last time I try to stand up against some creeps in the alley, I woke up with no undies and walking funny for three whole days!) At the bottom of the stairs there conveniently lies a mini fire extinguisher. How lame! But better than nothing, as I pick up the thing and charge across the street.

“Da hell are you doing over there?”, I raise my voice as I approach the stranger. He is first startled, but quickly gains composure and answers with a firm voice:

“Just looking out for my grandkid. He’s over there...”

“Lies! I saw you stalking the kids for half an hour!”, as I continue to confront him. The man notices that I begin to swing around this small ass fire extinguisher toward him, trying to keep him from retreating.

“What are you doing with that thing?... Put it down, you might hurt somebody...”

He realizes what’s going on. He gets caught in the act, creeping on innocent children. He is still trying to defuse the situation so I won’t make a big fuss. Like a true predator he puffs his chest forward to intimidate me, but pretends to raise his hands as a sign of surrender.

“There must be a misunde... Hrghh!...”

Before he can mesmerize me with his silver tongue, I bash the side of his chin with the fire extinguisher. He is instantly rendered unconscious. I know creeps like him are very good with words, and they can talk themselves out of such intense confrontation and make a quick escape. I couldn’t just let him go. Not today.

The man slips down and leans against the wall, with drool coming out of his mouth as his head drops to the side. Out cold and not a single drop of blood shed. I crouch down and check on him. As his body falls backward, his shirt accidentally unbuttons some more, revealing a full set of dark, hairy pectoral. There are many ways to check a man’s pulse, but at the moment I couldn’t think of anything else, so I slither my hand under his opened shirt and start caressing his moist chest. As I rub against his skin, the smell of sweat mix with cologne spreads around, and it is oddly... erotic. I take me a few seconds to properly feel his heart. Still beating strong, especially for man around his age. But what is his age exactly? Could he just look more mature?...

Why am I suddenly care for a pedo? He’s obviously sick in the head. No normal person would have a bulge like his while “watching his grandkid play”... Uhm no, it’s just his wallet. His cock is still limp, and it is surprisingly not as big as I’ve expected, based on the size of his hands and feet. I couldn’t help but to peek inside the wallet and find his ID and a business card.

“Nolan Smith. 59 years old. History professor. Head of Faculty”. And then there is a picture of him, apparently at a birthday party, with a young kid who looks similar to one of those on the playground. But hey, just because you have an esteemed job and fancy pants position, does not keep you from being a creep. An this mofo even has a photo with his victim. How awful! Quickly, I have to get rid of him before anyone sees us!

I put my hands under his sweaty armpits and drag him across the street to my building. This is a perfect occasion for me to test my fireman carries, but this bear is so damn big, I would probably break some parts of my body before I could take him to my apartment.

It takes a lot of effort for me to drag the man’s limp body without anyone noticing. Maybe I was lucky. What’s more immaculate is that his white pants have not a single spot of dirt. Then I look down to his feet. Black socks and blue denim slip-ons? Smithy here clearly has no sense of style at all, but somehow his weird pairing of clothing items is really turning me on. Kinda remind me of my own old man. Always favors comfort over appearance...

Wait...is he living around the area? That might explain the terrible choice of shoes, since no way he would have a good sexy outfit on just to be ruined by his footwear. But he has a belt that matches... Sigh...

I curiously take out his slippers and try it onto myself. Surprise, surprise, we share the same size! I have some other good pairs of dress shoes, but I admit, I was too shy to wear them even on special occasions. Now I have a, willing or not, model with a perfect fit. After a few seconds, I detect the odor emitting from the strange man’s moist socks in my tiny apartment, and my crotch couldn’t help but getting tighter. And I realize that the damped, warm slip-ons are hugging my feet. For some reasons, it starts to look good on me too, as I am also wearing black socks. I walk around the house, trying to channel the man’s alpha attitude before he was knocked out cold. Maybe I was too harsh on him, he seems to know what he’s doing...

It has been a full 10 minutes since I "arrested” him from the playground. Is he dead? No, still breathing...Concussion, perhaps? I pull up his eyelids to examine his pupils. Both are equally dilated. Phew... Uh oh, he’s twitching and starting to stir... What should I do?

I realize that I have saved some sedative for a rainy day. And that rainy day is today - the day that I capture a playground creep. The drug is for my own safety, in case I am up against someone like Smithy over here. I may have ko’ed him, but he could easily come to and turn the table, and I would end up in his current position: unconscious, helpless and at the mercy of a stranger.

I prick him with the syringe filled with ketamine. After finishing injecting him, I pressed my finger against his neck vein where the needle’s punctured his skin to prevent further bleeding, which would ruin his perfect blue plaid shirt, and give him a light pad on the chin for a good job done. He clearly tries to stay awake, but his attempt remains futile...

“Uuhhnnn.....”

As soon as the drug is pumped into the man’s system, his eyes roll to the back of his head and he lets out a faint whimper before returning to dream land. My hand is still glued to his neck, but I am able to lay my head on his slowly puffing chest, listening to his steady heartbeats. Feels like resting on a warm stuffed animal, only muskier. I show my appreciation to such fine male specimen with a gentle kiss on his erected nipple, knowing that he wouldn’t mind.

Outside, the sun is slowly going down. There is a cry echoing around the block. A kid appears to lose his grandpa, and the people gather around trying to help him find his way home. I close the shutters, trying not to pay attention to the commotion. I must focus on my own mission. In here, it is still quiet, as the drug will keep this sicko under for a couple more hours.

“What should I do with you now, you bad, bad man...?”

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