the BEST new pokémon in gen 9 btw are these two sanrio reject ass mice that count as one pokemon together

but they they silently evolve from level 25+ into the exact same two mice but now they have 1 or 2 kids with them. literally you open your party to discover that these two mice FUCKED in their pokeball and have now sprung their kid(s) on you

(shannon game song plays as I make my way to the stage) Ladies and gentlemen, this is a first in the history of the shannon game! Shannon has been 100% correct for two consecutive weeks. A round of applause for her 👏👏👏 Unfortunately for her, the difficulty will increase over the weeks (just because I want to make sure she knows me as much as I think she does)

There are so many things I want to say about them (suzy & krystal) that I don't know where to start >3< If I had to recommend some songs, I'd give you this list (sorry if you already listened to some of them):

touch, love song, I caught ya, breathe, if I were a boy (miss a)

yes no maybe, satellite, holiday, sleeplessness (suzy)

love, airplane, shadow, butterfly, dracula, rude love, when i'm alone (f(x))

As for their acting career, I haven't had the time to watch all their dramas/movies so I won't give any recs because I'm so far behind and need to catch up. I think the common factor between them is they both are dorks and they make me smile whenever I feel sad. I think of them as my safe place. I'd also recommend any running man episode suzy was on because she was super funny in those :D

YES I DID LISTEN TO BE MINE BECAUSE OF YOU <3 I think we have similar taste in music so I trust you :) Don't worry about giving too many song recs. I relate to that a lot! I can't give just some songs, I always end up sending a whole book and then I wonder why I don't hear from anyone after that lol I'll make sure to give the songs a listen and let you know what I think about them ^^

You are absolutely 100% correct about all your answers 👍 Some of my fave rv songs are (but aren't limited to) bamboleo, something kinda crazy, love is the way, sunny side up, rbb, butterflies 💞 I now realise I'm an open book. You know every single thing about me... You should definitely think about being a detective as a career option. I'd most definitely go ask for your help if you decided to do it ;)

Well now it's time for the difficulty to increase a little (just a little though)

Question #7: What is my favourite non-ghibli animated movie? (it's a very specific french movie, i'm sure you haven't heard of it so let's go with disney/pixar for this question)

Question #8: What is my favourite elo song? Now that I have listened to most of his discography, I can ask you this question (you can give out several answers because it's possible that there are some songs i still haven't listened to)

Question #9: Can you list some of my favourite 2nd gen girl groups? (4 to 5 groups is enough)

That concludes today's episode of TSG (the shannon game for those who didn't follow). Let's hope Shannon continues with her winning streak. I'm cheering you on! You can do it Shannon.

from 🐘💌 anon

hiiiiii !!! 🥰 thank you for the applause though i wouldn't get too carried away i think this round is going to be the start of my downfall if the questions are harder than last time :(

oo i have heard a few of these !! i really like the miss a colors album but i wasn’t familiar with the other songs! breathe was really fun though i liked that one! also yes no maybe is really good i haven’t listened to it in a while though! i did listen to satellite when it came out but i didn’t like it that much :( i just listened to all of the f(x) songs and i think i have heard a couple before like a really long time ago so i don’t really remember them but they’re all so good!!! i just never really got into them :( but they had some really great songs!! yeah i haven’t seen many of their dramas either but i enjoyed while you were sleeping and krystal was in prison playbook which is one of my favourite dramas of all time!! but the way you talk about them is so sweet :( they’re so lucky to have someone like you supporting them!! and i'm glad they make you so happy💗

ooo i can’t believe i was right about those!! but i forgot about sunny side up! thats one of my favourites too <3 but you really weren’t kidding about these getting harder 😭😭

literally the only french film i know of is amélie so if it isn’t that i have no idea! as for favourite disney/pixar movie i think this is finally something i don’t know… there’s just so many films to choose from maybe if you gave me a little hint or something i could take a guess but i really have no idea what it could be :( this is the question that has broken me </3

the fact you listened to elo enough to have a favourite song of his i’m 🥺😭 i’m not sure if you will have listened to his latest album yet?? so i’m not sure if it would be any of those.. (maybe falling dreams if you have listened to it though?) but i think maybe you would like rose? you said we have similar music taste so if i just name some of my favourites then hopefully at least one of them will be right... right? so maybe day n night or angel.. or perhaps osaka, melt or lip service. i don't wanna guess too many or that might be cheating so if its none of these maybe tell me which album your favourite song is on and then i can try guessing again asjdhakjsd

i would guess f(x) and miss a of course though those are probably too obvious so you might not count them... so i will also guess snsd (i feel like that has to be one right? everyone loves girls gen) maybe wonder girls?? or after school? i feel like i’m just naming very obvious or popular groups but i’m not sure! i’m bad at knowing what gen every group is too so hopefully these are 2nd gen asjdhjksd

those were some very tough questions i think my perfect score streak definitely ends here! but hopefully this doesn’t mean i’m eliminated or anything because the game is a lot of fun!! 💓💞

Funny, Crack and Humour Fics (Part 1)

I’ve been reading your johnlock fan fic recs for quite sometimes and it had been amazing!!

Can you suggest me some fics which are funny and smutty?or just fun to read?

(submitted by @eclecticcolordreamhairdo)

——

jonlokfe asked: Hi Steph, do you have a fan fiction Johnlock humor? O partys with scotland yard?

——–

Hi Lovelies!

Ahh, I’ve gotten a lot of requests lately for funny fics, and I’ve decided to finally just update it. I did a list a LONG time ago, but just never updated it since then. So I guess that’s what I’m doing this time around!

Because I have SO MANY FICS that all the links disappeared, I’m going to release this list in 2 Parts: First half is today, and next weekend I’ll post up the other half of the list <3

So enjoy this week’s list: the shorter fics :)

FUNNY, CRACK, and HUMOUR FICS (Part 1)

See also: Funny and Fluffy Stories

This Kiss by suitesamba (T, 731 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Drunkenness, Angst, Stag Night) – Stag Night - back at 221B - in a world where Mrs. Hudson doesn’t interrupt the guessing game with the client. Part 1 of The “This” Series

Reunited by MockJayPhoenix12 (K, 753 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Humour, Reunion) – Everything is falling right back into place, but it’s just a little too quick for John. One-shot, drabble, non-slash.

Cigarettes and Shampoo by laura0506 (T, 783 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Friendship) – John goes to the shops to meet someone he wasn’t supposed to.

Concussions And Good Old Fashioned Awkwardness by Belldere (K+, 894 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Hospitals, Mild John Whump, Misunderstandings, Platonic Relationship, Concussions, Not-Gay John, Possessive Sherlock) – When John lands himself in hospital… again, all he wants is to just get out of there as soon as possible, too bad his doctor has other ideas about where John may be getting his injuries. Good thing concussions make everything strangely funnier.

A Need To Know Basis by mattsloved1 (G, 934 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Romance) – As the cab door shut firmly, the DI had yelled out they were to make an appearance at Scotland Yard the next day. It was while John watched London pass by that it happened.

Tidying Up by mattsloved1 (K+, 951 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Friendship) – John comes home to a thoroughly cleaned flat. Or so it seems.

Realisation by Susie.Donym (K+, 957 w., 1 Ch. || Sally POV, Pre-Slash / Friendship, Humour) – It takes her a while but Sally finally makes a huge realisation.

Texts and Tea by JillianWatson1058 (K, 959 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Texting, Humour, Fluff, POV John, Cranky John) – A John who is woken up at 2:30 in the morning is not a happy John. Sherlock, frankly, doesn’t care. He just wants his tea.

My Unfortunately Average Sized Cranium by Haelia (K+, 996 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Headache, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Past Drug Use, Doctor John) – In which Sherlock has a migraine. ALMOST Johnlock. Not quite.

Secrets by 796116311389 (G, 1,084 w., 1 Ch. || Drunk Sherlock, Drunk Confessions, Angst, Fluff, Happy Ending, Pining Sherlock) – “He is the best person in the world and sometimes I get sad because I’m not. Not his best person.”

Mizzle by MrsNoggin (K, 1,233 w., 1 Ch || Friendship, Fluff, Platonic Johnlock, Humour, Slice of Life) – John can’t decide if it’s raining or not. Sherlock doesn’t understand.

Hallucinations can’t open doors by Bespectacled dreamer (K+, 1,330 w., 1 Ch. || Reunion, Hurt / Comfort, Friendship, Hallucinations, John’s Wedding, Light Humour) – In which John gets married and Sherlock gets a broken nose.

God Save The Queen by Alice Day (K+, 1,398 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Mystery, Friendship) – Sherlock has a new case. John is petrified. The Queen is amused.

Out on da pull by I-O-U-a-picture (T, 1,375 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Friendship) – John going ‘out on da pull’ and getting so close to getting digits so many times but Sherlock just conveniently keeps turning up prattling on about eyeballs in the microwave…

Three Ways Sherlock Conformed to His Stereotype by Jennistar1 (K+, 1,445 w.,  1 Ch. || Humour, Cranky Sherlock) – “It’s a hat.” / Urge to roll eyes, quashed. “Yes. I can see that.” / “It’s called a deerstalker.”

You Should Have Let Me Sleep! by theraggedypond (T, 1,542 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Sleepy Sherlock, Cranky Sherlock, Domestics) – After a three day case with no sleep and hardly any food, Sherlock is recovering from it by playing comatose. John finds out what happens when you wake up London’s favorite consulting detective.

Happy Birthday John by Starlight05 (K, 1,580 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Friendship, John’s Birthday, Shopping, 3rd Person POV John) – When an important date comes up, Sherlock finds himself doing something he never has before - shopping! But will he succeed and manage to get his best friend a present?

and yes I said yes I will Yes by Mithen (T, 1,662 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Humour, Est. Rel. Marriage Proposal) – Sherlock has deduced that John is going to propose to him, and he’s ready to accept. If only John would actually get around to it…

You Can Imagine The Christmas Dinners by johnsarmylady (T, 1,780 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Family, Introspection, Fluff, Post-ASIP) – Set the morning after a Study in Pink, John sits and contemplates Mycroft’s words.

In Which John is a BAMFy MoFo, OMG! by Kantayra (T, 1,835 w., 1 Ch. || Humour) – John’s BAMFness and Sherlock’s damsel-in-distress act are caught forever on camera. So Scotland Yard can mock. A lot.

The Video Footage by bitchinblackframedglasses (K, 1,894 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Friendship, Fluff, ASiB Missing Scene) – What exactly DID Lestrade film Sherlock doing in A Scandal in Belgravia? Sherlock wants to know, and John tells him.

The Adventure of the Mysterious Appearance of Tissues by Gwen’s Blue Box (K+, 1,910 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Humour, Sick John, Caring Sherlock, Hurt/Comfort) – In which there is a case, John has caught a cold and is not interested in investigating, Mrs Hudson is away and Sherlock does the shopping.

Baskerville After Dark by Ttime42 (T, 1,921 w., 1 Ch. || THoB, Friendship, Humor, Bed Sharing, Missing Scenes, Cranky John, Cuddles) – John and Sherlock have to share a bed at Baskerville. Gen, but can be preslash.

Text Me When It’s Over by immaculately-flawed  (K+, 1,937 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Humour, Post-TRF, Texting, Sort-Of Pining Sherlock) – After the fall Sherlock starts writing texts to John. Of course, he never sends them… Until he does by accident. Post Reichenbach fic but not angsty.

Cards by Caighlee (K+, 1,954 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Humour, Games) – Sherlock has been without a case for a few days and Molly’s suggested experiment - something with a pig head (ew) - is losing it’s appeal. Can John come up with something that’ll distract Sherlock for a bit longer? And how did John pull off that card trick? Sherlock’ll never know because a magician never tells a secret. Except maybe when faced with a smiling Consulting Detective.

The Perfect Place by SilverSmile (K+, 1,955 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Romance, 5 and Ones, Fluff, Experiments, Bed Sharing) – Sherlock attempts to find the perfect place to sleep, but his little experiment proves to be far more difficult than expected.

They’re Taking My Wisdom by whitchry9 (K+, 1,939 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Drugging, Dentists, Friendship, Anxious Sherlock, Humour) – Sherlock goes to the dentist. Of course, being Sherlock, things have to be complicated. Oh and drugs. They’re always fun.

Foresight by niffler09 (K, 2,015 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Friendship, Holmes Brother Bickering) – It’s raining and neither John nor Sherlock have an umbrella so they huddle under Sherlock’s coat. And then Mycroft walks past and makes smartass remarks.

Caught in the Act – by Mycroft by ShirleyCarlton (E, 2,040 w., 1 Ch. || Unintended Voyeurism, Mycroft’s POV, Blow Job, Humour) – Mycroft had only planted the camera for Sherlock’s own good, simply to keep an eye on his little brother and make sure he was alright. He hadn’t quite meant to see his brother this content, however… Part 4 of Caught In The Act

Never Have I Ever by Hannelore-Grace (T, 2,073 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Friendship, Drinking Games) – In which the Yarders, Sherlock, and John play the time-honored drinking game.

Denial Isn’t Just a River in Egypt by satanatemycat (T, 2,107 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Friendship, Texting, Bored/Cranky Sherlock) – In which John makes a bet with a co-worker. If he wins, she shuts up about him and Sherlock being a couple. If he loses… well, that doesn’t matter, because he won’t lose. Because he and Sherlock ARE NOT a couple. Right?

The Imminent Danger of a Tumblr-Night by Loveismyrevolution (T, 2,135 w., 1 Ch. || Tumblr Fics, Friends to Lovers, Sherlock is Out of His Depth, Humour, Fluff, Pining Sherlock, Military Kink, POV Sherlock) – Sherlock gets into trouble when he pretends to know all about John’s favourite social media site - tumblr. To save face he seeks help from one of the bloggers and gains more answers than he had aimed for.

At Least Make It Interesting by amythedork (K, 2,140 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Angst) – “You’ve reached Sherlock Holmes. For the love of God, if you’re going to leave a message, at least make it an interesting one. If this is Mycroft, then piss off.” / A series of voicemails John left Sherlock throughout their time together.

The Case of the Missing Blogger by nicknack22 (K, 2,147 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Humour, Friendship, Worried / Anxious Sherlock) – Alternately titled, The Case of the Oblivious Consulting Detective. In which Sherlock comes out of his mind palace to discover John missing. 221B does not fair well as a result.

Spilt Milk by Erin Giles (K+, 2,222 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort) – John comes back from a trip to the supermarket only to take a trip up the stairs. Both shopping and blood are spilled leaving Sherlock to play the role of Doctor.

A Study in Lace by KarlyAnne (E, 2,320 w., 1 Ch. || Established Relationship, Crafty Sherlock, Tiny Lace Panties / Lingerie, Domestics, Experiments, Oral, Masturbation) – “Why do you suppose he was doing that?” “Why do I suppose who was doing what?” “The room. The lace. The secrecy. He was playing with fire in everything he did, and didn’t care one bit. But he had a secret chamber, carefully concealed, solely for the purpose of making lace lingerie. Obviously for personal use. Why?“ Part 1 of The Unintentional Crafts of Sherlock Holmes

Reunions, Rowdiness and Phone Calls by Jennistar1 (T, 2,348 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Friendship, Drunk John, Low-Key Pining Sherlock) – John goes on a school reunion and gets drunk. Sherlock solves some crimes and gets some interesting phone calls.

Work On Your Balance by speculate (K+, 2,448 w., 1 Ch. || Embarrassed Sherlock, “For A Case”, Skating, Fluff, Friendship, Humour) – In which John is actually pretty good at ice skating, Sherlock’s not and insists it’s all for a case , and Lestrade is pretty amused by it all.

Wintery Hell by Belldere (K+, 2,457 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship & Humour, Christmas) – With Sherlock being roped into spending Christmas with his family, John had his own Christmas all planned out with his other friends and family… That is until he’s extended a forceful invitation from Mycroft and an assumption from Sherlock who, once again, failed to notice John wasn’t in the room when he 'asked’.

Manipulation by sixbynine (K+, 2,566 w., 1 Ch. || Experimenting John, Reverse Psychology) – John Watson is not as unobservant as Sherlock thinks, nor is he above using what he knows. Even if it is just to make sure Sherlock eats and sleeps.

Not Rocket Science by Nitrospira (T, 2,571 w., 1 Ch. || Drama, Humour) – Sherlock and John Watson are handcuffed to a bed while investigating a double homicide on the International Space Station. But Sherlock isn’t sure which is more tedious: a killer on the loose or John’s endless complaints.

Nothing Left Untouched by ForeverShippingJohnlock (K+, 2,617 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Romance, Bed Sharing, Oblivious Sherlock, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Grumpy John, Fluff and Cuddles) – Sherlock rearranges the flat. So what if John’s bedroom is now a research library. It’s not like John needs a bedroom, he can share with Sherlock. They’re friends and John has obviously slept in close quarters with men before and it’s not like Sherlock sleeps much anyway. It’ll be fine.

Insomnia by TheSingingGirl (K+, 2,635 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Humour, Bed Sharing, Sleepy Sherlock) – Sleep is merely the next frontier in what has become the battle to keep Sherlock alive. It’s because of this that John ends up in bed with a sociopath.

John’s Drawers by JezebelGoldstone (T, 2,646 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, First Kiss, Romance, Humour) – Sherlock snoops through John’s drawers and finds something… unexpected.

BBCSH 'The Comfort of Company’ by tigersilver (T, 2,769 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF/Mary, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Bed Sharing, Grumpy John, Touching, Clingy/Handsy Sherlock, Cranky Sherlock, Fluff and Light Angst) – It’s a trope that John and Sherlock end up sharing in the same bed eventually and I admit I do adore it unconditionally, along with all it infers as to the lowering of defenses and the heightening of trust. I put forth for your consideration that the notion persists because those who think about these things realize these two men are each in dire need of some good company.

Bored Games by patster223 (K+, 2,769 w., 1 Ch. || Cluedo / Board Games, Friendship, Humour) – Sherlock is bored and John decides that they should play Cluedo. In retrospect, it was a truly awful decision.

Your love it feels so good by Hotaru_Tomoe (E, 2,843 w., 1 Ch. || Gay Club / Gay Bar, Lingerie, Stripping, Anal, Crossdressing, Strip Tease, First Time) – Sherlock is last at a quiz night and is forced by Anderson to perform in a gay stripclub. John must be with him, because he will have to record the performance. Sherlock takes the task very seriously. Part 20 of The English job

Tipsy by katkin (T, 2,781 w., 2 Ch. || Humour, Friendship, Drunk Sherlock) – "I love everyone in this room,” he announced proudly.“I know you do, buddy,” John replied “Which is why you’re going to clean this carpet in the morning. Because you’re a good friend.” “I am a good friend!” Sherlock agreed.

All in a Day by chappysmom (K+, 2,920 w., 1 Ch. || Kidnapping, Sherlock POV,  Humour, Light Angst, BAMF John) – Oddly enough, it seemed like this time, Sherlock had been kidnapped for no other reason than to pressure John. In other words, this had nothing to do with him. Really, this on top of the blow to the head was enough to make him dizzy.

33 by Indigo Blue.x (K+, 2,936 w., 1 Ch. || Humour) – “I haven’t made a zombie,” Sherlock says scathingly, which would be more convincing if there were not a zombie in the flat.

Right Foot Red by Irrevocably_Sherlocked (E, 3,089 w., 1 Ch. || First Kiss/Time, Board Games, Frottage, Masturbation, PWP, Friends to Lovers, Come as Lube, Come Marking) – …ok, it’s juvenile, but at least it’s a game where touching is allowed. And if something more were to happen, well, John can’t say he’d be too upset about that. “What are the rules of this game?” Sherlock asks, the disdain evident on the word ‘game’. “I spin, you do as I say.” John thinks he sees a slight widening of those pale grey eyes at that, just for a fraction of a second, before it is shut down. Oh, this is interesting, he thinks.

The Sweetest Taste In The World by crossroads (G, 3,121 w., 1 Ch. || First Kiss, Jealous Sherlock, Fluff, Pining, Friends to Lovers) – The sweetest taste in the world is rarely ever the easiest to come by.

How to Court Your Blogger by PipMer (K+, 3,124 w., 1 Ch.  || Romance, Humour, Fluff) – Sherlock Holmes sets out to court his flatmate. Things might progress more rapidly if he would inform said flatmate of his intentions.

Entanglement by orphan_account (G, 3,218 w., 1 Ch. || Pining, Confessions, Physics, Texting, Christmas, Mind Palace, Sick Fic, Fluff, Humour, Holidays) - On Christmas Eve, snow covers London, John visits Harry, and Sherlock and Mrs. Hudson untangle some knots.

Bathroom Accessories by Evenlodes_Friend (E, 3,324 w., 1 Ch. || Sex Toys, Butt Plug, First Kiss / Time, Romance, Horny Sherlock, John’s Patience Wears Thin, Humour, Bottomlock) – John discovers that Sherlock has been playing with some very adult toys in the bath.

Apodyopsis by QuinnAnderson (E, 3,347 w.,1 Ch. || PWP, Rough Sex, Table Sex, Anal, Sexual Tension) – Apodyopsis: (æpəʊdaɪˈɒpsɪs) noun. the act of mentally undressing someone. Part 2 of Undressed

Twas The Night by xox-hattii-xox (K+, 3,356 w., 1 Ch. || Humour & Friendship, Christmas, Domestics, Fluff) – Twas the night before Christmas…and Sherlock has had just about enough of the whole thing! 'Really, John, a Santa Hat’ Christmas in 221b, and Sherlock just wants it over with.

The Second Law of Thermodynamics by entanglednow (T, 3,614 w., 1 Ch. || Asexual Sherlock, Bed Sharing, Sharing Body Heat) – In which there’s no heating and there’s a dead owl in Sherlock’s bed. Part 1 of Thermodynamics

Doesn’t Follow Me Everywhere by Janec Shannon (T, 3,784 w., 1 Ch. || Humour and Friendship) – “He doesn’t follow me everywhere, you know.” Silly John, of course he does what with your penchant for getting kidnapped.

Paranoia by Ewebie (M, 3,789 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Drinking Games, Scotland Yard Gang, Jealous / Possessive Sherlock, Inappropriate Questions, Embarrassed John, Matchmakers) – John and Sherlock join the gang of Scotland Yard for a night of drinking, and it gets a bit personal and revealing.

Equine Arse Anonymity by Kayjaykayme (E,  3,834 w., 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., Public Sex, Coming in Pants, Humour, Halloween, Hand Jobs) – Sherlock needs to speak with suspects at a fancy dress ball. He chooses a couple’s costume for himself and John. It is logical, practical and well thought out. John doesn’t agree and exacts sweet revenge.

Well Begun Is Half Done by Avice (E, 3,897 w.,1 Ch. || Virgin Sherlock, First Time, Anal/Oral, Seduction, John in Charge, Pining Sherlock, John’s Penis, Bottomlock) – Sherlock is putting together an elaborate plan of seducing John. John grows tired of waiting and takes matters into his own hands.

Jukebox by standbygo (T, 3,990 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Singing/Music, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Hurt/Comfort, Humour, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss) – After the music halls of Sherlock’s mind palace get damaged by accident, John learns that Sherlock never forgets a song. Even the ones he’d rather forget. But the random singalong brings some unexpected benefits.

Tree Topper by May_Shepard (E, 4,017 w., 1 Ch. || Christmas Tree, Christmas Fluff, Drunken Shenanigans, Smut, First Time, Friends to Lovers) – Sherlock and John are celebrating Christmas the best way they know how–alone together, with booze. They’ve almost finished decorating their tree, but John is determined to find the best way to top it.

The Oolong Disaster by unicornpoe (T, 4,151 w., 1 Ch. || John’s Beard, Fluff, Humour, Frustrated Sherlock, John Takes Care of Sherlock, Case Fic-ish, Pining Sherlock, First Kiss, Possessive Sherlock) – John has a beard. Sherlock has a panic attack.

Sherlock Holmes and the Mysterious Piercing by Lorelei_Lee (E, 4,130 w., 1 Ch. || Travelling, Sherlock is Loud, Secrets, Genital Piercing, First Time, Licking, Coming Nearly Untouched) – John discovers by chance that Sherlock has a piercing. To his surprise John can’t stop thinking about it…

Date Night by inevitably_johnlocked (G, 4,451 w., 1 Ch. || Anxious / Worried Sherlock, Caring John, Schmoopy Fluff, Fidget Cube, Baking / Cooking, Date Night, Established Relationship, POV Sherlock Holmes, Understanding John, Grumpy Sherlock, John’s Bum, Kisses, Hugs, Domestic Fluff, Touching, Hair Petting, Light Humour) – It’s John and Sherlock’s first Date Night as an official couple and Sherlock needs it to be PERFECT. Mrs Hudson helps. Part 7 of I-J’s Tumblr Ficlet Collection

The Care and Keeping of Your Mad Genius by Janieshi (T, 4,553 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TGG, Friendship, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Light Humour/Teasing, Alternating POV, Cranky Sherlock) – If he hadn’t been so focused on holding the bastard still, John would have laughed aloud. This maniac really thought John was the pet in this dynamic?

Because Blah Blah Blah Happy by cwb (E, 4,578 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Cuddles, Kissing, First Kiss, Requited Love, Pining Sherlock) – John is entirely done with the milk situation and gives Sherlock a list of shit he’s pissed about. Sherlock sets out to make John happy. John is happy. Sherlock makes his own list. They are both very, very happy.

Carry On by Mazarin221b (M, 4,647 w., 1 Ch. || 5 and Ones, H/C, Afghanistan, Frottage, Hand Jobs, First Time, Drunk John, Hospitals, Humour, Soft Sex) – Five times John didn’t want to be carried, and one time he did.

Given In Evidence by verityburns (M, 5,034 w., 19 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Angst, Drama, Case Fic, Romance, BAMF!John, Submissive Sherlock, First Kiss, Humour) – Coming back from the dead can be a complicated business. With a new case on the horizon, rebuilding a life is one thing… rebuilding a friendship quite another. For Sherlock and John, things may never be just the same…

How I played damage control to an anti in a small anime fandom and may have led to her ultimate downfall

I know I had a really nice write up of this at one point but oh well. I’ll spill more of the tea in this one because honestly the tea was so hot.

There are a few things that I have to give context to first. Gaia online was like THE mega forum of the 2000s, you made a little avatar and through posting and doing other activities on the forum you made money to buy clothes for your avatar. There were forums for everything but the fannish portions were really what drew in most of the people. The anime I was into was Beyblade. It was a shonen anime about fighting with tops that were possessed by the spirits of magical creatures. The story was honestly pretty average but the characters were fantastic and the fandom is to this day still one of my favourites. The series had a primarily male cast and didn’t even have a female lead until the second season. This led to the fanfic for the English fandom being about 70% canon/OC, 10 % canon m/f, and 20% slash. The most popular character in the English fandom was by far Kai Hiwatari, the loner badboy of the team.

Also before we get started I would like to add that one of my best friends was neck deep in this and the two of us were more or less fandom married. This is the same friend that I fake dated, had feelings for, and she nearly got me into kpop in 2011 so like if you haven’t read that story please read it too because it will give you a good idea of how stupid I am and how much of a fanfic I have truly lived. 

To set the stage I was 16, soon to be 17 when I joined the fandom and it was 2004. In September of that year I wrote a humour longfic that became an absolute smash hit and I found myself somehow fandom famous. It was around this time that I joined Gaia online. I made my little avatar and immediately went looking for the beyblade thread so that I could make new friends. I found the main thread, made my little introduction and at the end of it mentioned that I was a slash writer but I supported all ships. This is where I met C. She had declared herself the authority on Beyblade in these parts and I had just committed the crime of mentioning slash which was very obviously not canon and we did not discuss in this thread because we only discussed canon things. I was like well that’s a bit severe but like sure whatever I just want to hang out and have fun. 

Oh boy did I have no idea what I was in for. 

C was a year older than me and unfortunately that made her older than the majority of the fans at the time. Her favourite character was Kai, and she was not shy about talking about this fact. She stanned Kai above all other characters, and often at their expense. She was also a fanfic writer of a popular canon/OC series. Actually, she was so full of herself that she didn’t even call herself a fanfic writer, no her stories were in fact novels and were apparently very good. I never read them. But more on that later. 

Eventually the slash fans got tired of her being rude to us in the general thread so we made a Beyblade slash thread. There was a core of like 8 or so of us and we honestly had sooo much fun. When C would be too unbearable in the main thread the people from there used to come over to our thread and we’d chat with them about non slash stuff because we were honestly all multishippers and just wanted to have fun. We’d get comments like “wow, I’ve had more pleasant canon het ship discussions in the slash thread than the regular thread”. We never worried about C coming over and getting upset about comments like this because she refused to be associated with anything related with slash lmao. 

I tried my best to keep the peace between C, myself, and the rest of the fandom because ultimately I hate being in fandom drama. I just want everyone to have a good time. I’m a people pleaser. Unfortunately my newfound fame put me in the awkward position of being the most fandom popular person in our small community aside from C. Virtually every fan that read fanfics that came into our thread knew one of us or the other by reputation and C HATED this. Especially because people would come in to the thread, recognise me and go “oh my goodness I love your fanfics!” and I’d be super sweet with them and it’d lead into “I can’t believe how nice you are, I love you” which would lead to us crying at each other. This was not the kind of fan interaction that C got, no her fans were more kind that were there to praise her and worship her like a deity that had blessed them with some gift. Rarely did they tell her how kind she was. 

Back in the mid 2000s there were really commonly those commercials (usually by Christian organisations) asking people to sponsor say children in Africa or to help build schools or provide drinking water. You all probably know the ones; know the language that they used in those commercials. My fandom wife, who I suppose I shall call wifey because yes we were THAT couple back then, once said that C described her fics like those people described donating money to save the lives of Children in Africa. So we used to joke that her fics were so good they’d save lives in Africa. Looking back at it all, she almost had a very fundamentalist Christian approach to bringing people into her fanfics. She of course tried to get all the slash people into reading it. None of us read canon/oc fic mostly due to our poor treatment at the hands of their fans and creators. Getting fed up I one day told her that if she would read any one of my fanfics that I would read the entirety of her novels. Yes, I was willing to commit to read a couple 100k of canon/oc fanfic that I’d never touch normally if she would even read one of my 1k 1 shots. Heck, I had a fic even that shipped 2 minor characters so she didn’t even have to sully herself reading about one of the main characters. It was honestly a good deal in her favour. I kept this up until the day we all left the fandom. Sometimes I do wonder if her fics were even ¼ as good as she claimed, but I will never know because she refused to read my fics. 

She wasn’t all bad and a tyrant all the time. As long as people kept the conversations on track and didn’t come in to the thread saying things like “KAI IS SO HOT ND T3H BEST N I AM GUN 2 MARRY HIM” she stayed mostly civil. It was always hilarious watching InuYahsa or Naruto fans try to come in and bad mouth Beyblade because they’d unleash the dragon and C was great at chasing off undesirables in the thread. 

The real apex of goings on though on Gaia was the guild drama. So guilds were like exclusive themed mini forums within Gaia. Anyone could buy one and run it however they want, as long as it still adhered to Gaia’s ToS. C of course was the owner of the only Beyblade guild. The fandom wasn’t really big enough to support 2 guilds so we just kind of let it go. Technically she allowed people to post slash fanfics but like everything had to be explicitly tagged and there was absolutely no slash RP. Wifey and I controlled a handful of minor characters together in the forum RP and definitely used to try to push the boundaries a little bit. Some ambiguous flirting here, a stray comment there. It was such a fragile balance though because C was heavy on the ban button. The active portion of the guild was just people that were in the cult of C and worshipped her writing. 

Understandably the other slash fans and myself were getting disheartened by this. So we pooled our funds together and decided that we’d open a second guild that though it was run by slash fans we would welcome anyone into our ranks. We just wanted to have a fun place for everyone to hang out, and to hopefully run a few events out of. In hindsight, we should have seen what would happen. When we opened the guild, with me as the guild leader, it was like somebody blew up the whole dam protecting the delicate ecosystem we had cultivated. Every single person in the Gaia fandom that was not a zealous follower of C applied to be in our guild and left her guild. We of course figured that we’d attract some of the gen population but we did not expect to accidentally poach all of it. All of the moderators were getting messages from people thanking us for giving them a place where they could say whatever they wanted without fear of getting their faces ripped off or banned. 

C lost her shit. She was so mad that we went behind her back to ruin her guild. We literally had to show her posts in the very public slash thread that we had been planning this in public and that it was not to ruin her life. We just wanted a place where we could freely post slash. The two of us had some spicy comments back and forth and then she dropped an absolute bombshell on me. Since Gaia’s mail system is terrible I unfortunately no longer have exactly what she said but it was something along the lines of “Ok, you win. I’m going to close my guild.”. Us slash fans had never been doing this to win anything. We had never been competing. We just wanted a safe space to be ourselves. 

C never joined our guild. The fandom slowly faded out within the next year anyway. We weren’t getting new content so naturally people just drifted into other fandoms. C kept up with the main Beyblade thread for a lot longer than most of us but eventually that eventually faded into obscurity too. 

I learned a lot about fandom bullies from those days. But honestly the thing that stuck with me the most out of everything was that if you provide a positive safe space for people they will flock to it. It may seem like there are so many hostile people out there, but there really aren't. They're the minority but they just make sure that their voice is the loudest. The best way is to ignore them and just do your own thing. The bullies just want attention and if you don’t give it to them and prove to them that their opinion doesn’t matter to you then they’ll move in and find something else to yell at. 

FAQ!!

pls read these before sending an ask !! here is basic ask guidelines for my blog along with general qs you may have - if you have anything you want added here, let me know !!

basics

who runs this blog?

i’m sparrow and i’m a mcyt writer / fan !! i’m 18 and from the uk, and my pronouns are he/him :D

when are you going to update ad infinitum/espejo/total control/[insert another one of my fics on ao3]?

if you want an update for a fic, Bug Me About It /gen,, i always forget to, so if you’re ever impatient for a chapter, just send an ask about when the next chapter will be up and i’ll probably update that night or the night after LMAO !!

why haven’t you replied to my messages?

my worst trait is how awful i am at replying to Actual Messages ™ - idk why ,, i don’t even respond to messages irl and everyone hates me for it :’) i’ll definitely respond but if you have something pressing to ask me, the best chance of catching me is through an ask !! 

why do you use tone indicators so much?

i’m neurodivergent and am never sure how my tone comes across over text! i use tone indicators to ensure people understand what i mean. if you’re ever unsure of tone, pls don’t hesitate to ask me to tag something with a tone indicator!!

will you tag _____ as a trigger?

100% - please just ask me to do that and i will !!

guidelines for asks 

do you mind people making fanart (writing, art, edits, etc) of your fics?

as long as you credit me, then that’s completely okay !! pls tag me in it so i can see it too :)

how do some people send such long asks while i have a character limit?

long asks come from tumblr mobile - try typing your ask up there to avoid the character limit!

are requests open? 

see here for an answer !! 

can i add your fics to a fic rec?

yes, absolutely !

how often do you post?

every day from about 12pm to 8pm bst, every 20 minutes !! all my posts are queued from 6am bst, so i’m usually only online from about 6am to 9am dsjkbvkd

what things are not okay to send as an ask?

pls don’t send in anything to do with cannibalism / needles / anything seriously nsfw (jokes r fine for all these, but talking about needles makes me uncomfortable, and i’m ace so nsfw stuff also makes me uncomfy). try to tag main triggers if you’re sending a dark/angsty ask, and don’t send me theories trying to diagnose characters with mental illnesses / neurodivergence pls (ie. claiming a character has aspd/depression/schziphrenia/etc). 

headcanons and ideas are also fine to send, but outright requesting me for writing puts a lot of pressure on me when i’ve already got almost 1k asks to get through LMAO, so no outright writing requests pls!!

pls also try to avoid sending asks about permanent death theories re: c!dream, or criticism surrouning ccs! avoiding direct discourse re: c!dream would be nice too - if someone comes onto my posts and criticises him (or cc!dream), i’m gonna respond, but otherwise i try to ignore it because they’re huge hyperfixations for me and it makes me upset to see!

fandom stuff

you’re a c!dream apologist??

i’m a c!dream sympathiser and fan. do i excuse his actions? no. do i realise there’s no such thing as an evil character and that c!dream’s actions don’t come from a place of monstrosity/evil? yes. 

why?

see HERE / HERE / HERE / HERE / HERE / HERE / HERE / HERE / HERE / HERE / HERE (more tba as i make more threads + find more that i agree with!)

can i interact even if i’m not a c!dream apologist?

of course !! everyone is welcome on this blog, unless you’re going to be an asshole about any of the characters, including c!dream. jokingly making fun of them is okay - just don’t go too far (i’ve seen loads of ppl on twt making violent angry posts about c!dream and then adding /j on the end hours later, which isn’t okay, for example!)

are you an apologist for another character?

yes !! c!tubbo !! i like all the characters though :D

which characters do you write for?

c!dream primarily, c!quackity secondarily, and then here are my other favourites - c!wilbur, c!tubbo, c!tommy, c!sapnap, c!george and c!ranboo !! i’ll write almost any character, but these are my favourites and the ones i’m best at writing :]

do you post on ao3?

not as often as i should be DSKDSDNKJ, but yes, i do !! check out my profile here 

what does c![name] and cc![name] mean? what’s the difference?

c![name] stands for character, while cc![name] stands for content creator. it’s to help distinguish between the two - to stop people getting mixed up between characters and content creators who have the same names!

where can i find your aus?

click here !! it needs updating, but here’s a lot of them :]

tysm for reading !!! ily all and rlly appreciate it :D

Writing Tag Game

Okay listen I’m on vacation XD hence why I’m ignoring everyone’s tags/taking forever to respond. But I’ve been tagged in this A LOT and I really liked it/wanted to do it so thank you to everyone who tagged me (oh my god I’m so sorry if I missed one of you there were SO MANY): @noire-pandora, @in-arlathan, @thevikingwoman, @morganlefaye79, @elveny, @kunstpause, @pikapeppa

I’m not tagging anyone because I’m tagging everyone since I’m too lazy to find my tag list (I’m on VACATION). If you’ve not gotten tagged and wanted to do this, say I tagged you. 

How many works do you have on Ao3?

147 - I have 145 linked to my profile and two in the anonymous collection. 

What's your total Ao3 wordcount?

1,468,248. Almost 1.5 million!! 

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Of Miracles and Heroes (FenHawke, Cadash/Varric, Varania/Blackwall): 269

Interspecies Relationships Have Their Ups and Downs (Shakarian): 145

Don’t Make it Hawkeward (Varric/Hawke): 135

The Ambassador’s Vices (Josephine/Adaar): 111

The Girl with the Arrow Tattoo (Cadash/Varric): 101

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do (but - to be honest - it takes me FOREVER). I love comments. It’s so much easier to not leave comments than leave comments, so every time someone leaves one I’m blown away. I feel like - for leaving me a comment - you’re definitely owed an answer! I do apologize that it takes me awhile though - I am very bad at answering because they mean a lot to me and I get easily overwhelmed by the AO3 inbox I don’t know why. Blame anxiety. 

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

I’ll be honest, I don’t like angsty endings so I don’t have many of them. By far the angstiest ending I have is Flowers, Lies, and Forgiveness. This is a Bianca Davri/Varric Tethras fic set during the final act of DA2. I wrote it from Bianca’s POV - showing Varric unraveling under the pressure of Kirkwall and Bianca’s complicated feelings about infidelity to her husband who clearly cares about her as well. I wrote it for @hollyand-writes who always lets me lean into the tragic “fucked upness” of the pairing when I’m feeling like making Varric suffer.  

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending

I prefer happy endings so almost EVERYTHING has a happy ending. My favorite endings, so far, are for Cheating the Dread Wolf, which is my Varric/Cadash/Solas polycule (or as I like to refer to it - Solas has a dwarf kink) and The Viscount’s Mistress which is my Hurt/Comfort Cadash/Varric Trespasser bullshit. 

Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've written?

I have not written crossovers - but I am very into AUs in another setting that belongs to a different fictional universe. Most recently I got back into my Downton Abbey bullshit and wrote Flappers for Fen’harel which is basically a Downton Abbey AU Solas/Cadash and I’m not taking comments about the outrageousness of it. 

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yep. Honestly though? Over the two years I’ve been active in Fandom, the shitty comments can be counted on one hand and usually came from the same people over and over again, who are easily blocked, and should stop seeking out clearly labeled content they don’t like. Me and my work are not for everyone - that’s REALLY okay. I’ve blocked people for no other reason than making things I don’t like - that doesn’t mean they’re bad people. 

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

GOD DO I.

I am extremely sex and kink positive. Because of this - a lot of my work involves sex in some way or another. I think sex is a beautiful part of many (although not all) relationships, and that it’s frequently glossed over in mainstream media (particularly queer, kinky, and polyam sex). 

This ranges from sort of vanilla slow burns (My Cole/Bea fic, Compassion for an Assassin, has smut which hasn’t been posted yet. It’s Cole’s first time and is fairly vanilla and romantic, and occurs approximately 40k into the fic) to some pretty dubious consent near 24/7 dom/sub dynamics with BDSM kinks (I’ve written JUST as much of the Sereda/Gorim problematic smut as @jarakrisafis has in our series Forced Moves). 

There’s very few kinks I’m not willing to touch at least to try out - even if I end up not liking them. And the ones that aren’t for me are 100% allowed to exist and I will fight for them to the bloody end. My only recommendation is CLEARLY labeling your shit and not being afraid to add a tag if someone asks you to. 

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I’m aware of? I’ve seen ideas I’ve tried on picked up by other people - but I don’t consider that stealing and it’s hard to trace “who has been inspired by who” because we ALL have been inspired by thousands of other people and frankly more stuff for me when I pull you over to my weird AUs and rarepairs. 

I also think that’s a huge part of not getting stolen - I’ve got so much weird niche shit that only a couple people read that stealing from me is going to most likely be caught IMMEDIATELY the audience is so small. 

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don’t believe so!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! I’ve got some co-written secret smut with @blarfkey which almost nobody has seen, I’ve borrowed @tightassets Hawke, Lavellan, and Shepard for fics that she has illustrated, borrowed @tuffypelly‘s Adaars for some great fics, and my most ambitious project - the Forced Moves series with @jarakrisafis. It started out as us just exchanging gifts back and forth but we’ve wrangled it into Gambits and Countergambits, an Aeducan-origin prequel, that I’m VERY proud of. 

I love co-writing very much, but it’s very important to find the right partner and for it to be someone you trust completely. 

What's your all time favourite ship?

This is a stupidly hard question because I am, at heart, a multi-shipper. 

I love Varric/Hawke and Varric/Cadash. I’m also a sucker for Solas/Cadash. My fandom pool noodle is Varric/Cadash/Solas which I adore, and I’m very fond of Cole/Cadash. 

Most recently I’ve been DEEP in Aeducan/Gorim Saelac, Bhelen/Rica/Vartag, and Aeducan/Brosca feels. Dwarf origins are the best origins in my opinion and those characters are PERFECT. 

What's a WIP you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I fully plan on finishing everything. My writing style changed a lot, for the better, in a short period of time. I need to integrate my old style/new style and had to get a pep talk about how to do that. Now I’m ready to try as soon as I finish Compassion for an Assassin. 

What are your writing strengths? 

I write very sexy, hot smut. I also really like playing with character voice and making sure I get them “right” so I do a lot of experimenting before publishing a new character for the first time. 

I struggle to write action scenes - it’s like pulling fucking teeth - but people really LOVE my action scenes and they read well. So that’s something I’m proud of even if it feels like doing fucking pull ups. 

What are your writing weaknesses?

I never learned anything. My experiences with English and writing teachers were overwhelmingly negative. I’m unsure if I’m just not cut out for classes or if they were that bad, but I always left feeling like there was one “right” way to do it, and everything I liked was “bad”, so what was the point of “learning” anything? 

It turns out there’s this very pompous, pretentious thought process in writing where people “assume” things must be done, but GOOD writing teachers teach you the rules and then how to break them. I either never had a good writing teacher or got too intimidated to give them a chance before bouncing. 

So I’m exceedingly self-taught. I lack the vocabulary to discuss plot structure, characterization, grammar, etc. I instinctively know most of these things based on trial and error and reading, but I didn’t learn them and I miss a lot of nuance in the rules, but until recently I was still too intimidated and unsure of myself to admit that or take it seriously. 

So - my defense mechanism is NOT taking ANYTHING seriously. If my writing is a joke to me, it’s gotta be a joke to everyone else, but that’s been a shield to hide behind instead of being thoughtful about things. I’m here to have fun, yes, but there’s nothing wrong with learning a technique to the art. 

I’ve learned - mostly thanks to @blarfkey who is an amazing person and a wonderful teacher - that I am a good writer based on my self-teaching. And being intimidated of people who throw around impressive sounding words is a weakness that I am working on. 

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? 

Use sparingly and with good reason. It should be short and explained later or clear from context. 

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter on message boards back in the fucking day. Thankfully none of it exists anywhere anymore. 

What's your favourite fic you've written?

This is such a sappy answer and I’m so sorry. My favorite things have been written for and because of people I love and care about. When I read them, I’m not just reading the story, but remembering the relationships I’ve made and how important they are. 

So, my top three fics for THAT reason: 

1. Cheating the Dread Wolf - written for @blarfkey who inspired the idea and ruthlessly encouraged me to make it happen. This fic was so healing for me because it heavily features Fatherhood within it - and I lost my father in June 2020. I don’t know if I’d have been able to do it without her and it was so important for me to do. 

2. Gambits and Countergambits - written with @jarakrisafis and the culmination of a years worth of gifting shit back and forth and crafting a shared universe. The worldbuilding, smut, relationships, EVERYTHING about this fic is so deeply and passionately cared about by both of us and to our knowledge it is completely, totally unique.  

3. Relentless, Ridiculous, and Rakish - one of my only primarily gen-fics focusing on a forming brother/sister relationship between Maria Cadash and @tuffypelly‘s Otsar Adaar. I very much enjoyed writing it for her <3 

And then my overall favorite fic: 

The Viscount’s Mistress: I have a lot of opinions about how fanfiction treats the anchor’s meltdown and the aftermath. It’s one of the things in DAI that resonated with me SO much as someone who lives with chronic pain and a disability. I loved the fact my OC was in the same shoes and STILL saving the world. This is very much a fic that explores all the dark sides of trauma, pain, and the mental health effects of it. But it ends on a happy and hopeful note.  

Body

Prompt: How do you imagine child Purple reacting the first time they see what Black actually looks like? I just finished Imposter Syndrome and You're Safe Now (I love them!!!) and tiny wholesome Purple is my new favourite person!

I also love me a pure smol 

Read on Ao3 Part 1

Warnings: some implied/referenced child abuse but nothing specific and nothing graphic, mild body horror a la canon but it’s just when the impostor’s shifting

Pairings: gen

Word Count: 1978

Black is an Impostor. The ship they've hijacked, the Skeld, comes with an...interesting member. A child, not known by the rest of the human crew, that's now just...here. And yes, children are children and Black will protect them, but they're human. Humans don't like Impostors.

...right?

“Black?”

 Black looks up from the console. Purple is in the co-pilot’s chair, fiddling with a ball they must’ve taken off the drive shaft control. They roll their eyes fondly as Purple rubs their thumbs over the grooves in the ball.

 “Yeah?”

 “You said you could shape-shift, right?”

 Black nods. They shake their head a couple of times as they shift into the human face, smiling at how Purple giggles. Apparently, they look like a dog whenever they do that.

 “Can you…” Purple fiddles with the ball. “What do you actually look like?”

 Black blinks. Purple hasn’t been shy about asking questions, that’s true, but they’ve mostly been asking about the ship.

 ‘What does this button do?’

 ‘Can I help with the wires?’

 ‘Why are there levers over here?’

 ‘How do the engines make us go?’

 That sort of thing. But not about Black.

 Black makes sure the ship’s course is correct and turns to face them. They look up, letting the ball drop to rest in their lap.

 “I look…different,” they try, “I don’t have arms and legs like you, I don’t have a face like this.”

 “So you’re…you’re like a…blob?”

 “Yeah, kind of.” Black shakes their head. “It’s not really—I don’t think there’s an animal that looks like me where you come from.”

 “I watched a documentary once,” Purple mumbles, raising the ball to their mouth, “had these weird blob things in it that liked to eat stuff.”

 “Don’t, I don’t think it’ll taste very good.” Black raises their hand to Purple’s, covering it gently. “What did they look like?”

 “They were really weird, kinda grey and twitchy.” Purple furrows their brow, shakes their head. “They were called am—amb—ambas?”

 “Amoebas?”

 “Yeah, that’s right, amoebas.”

 Black chuckles. “Well, those are very small. I’m much bigger.”

 “So you’re not an amoeba?”

 “No.”

 Purple squints up at them, raising their chubby little hand to Black’s human cheek. They pat it a couple of times.

 “Soft.”

 “Soft?”

 “Yeah. Your—your face is really soft. And pretty. I like it.” Purple’s eyes widen. “Why’s it getting warmer?”

 If this is how I die, I am completely fine with it.

 “I’m blushing,” Black mutters, valiantly ignoring the heat rushing to their face—damned human biology— “that’s it.”

 “Does it hurt?”

 “Does blushing hurt?” They shake their head. “No, I’m alright.”

 “Good. I don’t wanna hurt you.”

 “I don’t think you could if you tried,” Black says as gently as possible, “but thank you, Purple.”

 Purple nods, still running their hand over Black’s face. “But this isn’t your face, it’s your disguise.”

 Black nods. “One of them.”

 “One of them?”

 Black takes their wrist gently and pulls their hand away, letting the helmet reform. “This is another one.”

 Purple’s hand twitches in theirs. “Your voice sounds weird.”

 “Weird?”

 They start trying to tug their hand away. Black lets them go. They start rubbing the ball again. “Like the others.”

 Something cold rips the helmet off and Black smiles. “Better?”

 Purple nods but they don’t make eye contact. “Don’t like the helmets. They make it hard to breathe.”

 Hard to…breathe?

 “Always had to be quiet.”

 Quiet?

 “Are you sure the other crew isn’t coming back?”

 “Yes, Purple,” Black promises, “they’re gone now. It’s just you and me. It’s alright, baby, you’re safe now.”

 Adoration and concern chase each other in circles around Black’s chest as Purple nods to themselves, clutching the ball to their chest. After a moment, they look up and shyly hold their hand out.

 “You wanna come here, baby?” Purple nods and Black opens their arms. “Come here, then, baby, I gotcha.”

 Purple slides off the co-pilot seat and clambers into Black’s lap, still holding the ball to their chest. Black softens the coarse fabric of the suit and wraps an arm around Purple’s waist. Their head comes to rest against Black’s shoulder, their hair rustling against their chin.

 Black’s maw purrs.

 Purple mumbles happily, snuggling closer. “The rumble is back.”

 “The rumble?”

 Purple pats Black’s tummy. “This. Rumble. Means you’re happy, right?”

 “…yes, Purple, it means I’m happy.”

 “What is it? Do you purr? I saw something that says cats purr, are you a cat?” Purple squints up at them, doing a wonderful impression of a scientist examining their hypothesis. “No, if you were a cat it would be higher.”

 Their hands reach up toward Black’s neck and Black leans away, cupping their hand in theirs.

 “Ask, baby,” they remind gently, “you’ll surprise me if I don’t know what’s happening.”

 “Can I feel?”

 “What do you want to feel?”

 “Your neck. If you’re a cat you purr from your neck.”

 “I thought you just said it comes from my tummy.”

 Purple sticks their lip out, thinking. “So you’re not a cat.”

 “No, I’m not a cat.”

 Their fingers curl around Black’s, bringing their hand close and clutching it under their chin like a comfort teddy. Black twists their wrist slightly to stroke their cheek with the pad of their thumb.

 “So what is it?”

 Black sighs. “It’s my maw.”

 “What’s a maw?”

 “It’s like a mouth.”

 “You have a mouth in your tummy?”

 “…this isn’t my real shape, remember,” Black says quietly, “it’s…it’s part of the disguise that doesn’t work completely.”

 “Why not?”

 Black thinks for a moment. How to explain…

 “If you put a mask on,” they decide finally, “or when you put clothes on, your body is still underneath, right?”

 Purple nods. They raise their hand to pat their own tummy. Black covers their hand gently.

 “Looking like this is like I’m wearing something on top of my body. There are going to be parts that aren’t completely hidden.”

 “So your maw is just covered up?”

 “Yes.”

 “Can you breathe?”

 Black blinks in surprise. “Can I…breathe?”

 Purple nods, suddenly scrambling at the suit over their tummy. “I don’t—if your mouth is covered it’s hard to breathe, can you—“

 “Whoa, whoa, baby,” Black soothes, catching their hands and holding them still, “easy, I can breathe, slow down, baby, you’re gonna hurt yourself.”

 “But your mouth is covered!”

 “Shh, shh, take a deep breath, baby, breathe with me.” Black takes a loud, slow breath through their human mouth. “See? I’m breathing, let’s take some breaths.”

 They place Purple’s hands on their tummy so they can feel it expand and contract. The poor thing’s hands are trembling as they take shaky breaths.

 “There you go, baby, just like that.” Black takes another slow breath. “See? I can breathe, it’s okay.”

 “B-but—“ Purple looks up at them and Black lets out a sound of dismay at the tears on their cheeks— “you—it’s covered.”

 “Do you want me to show you that it’s okay? Okay,” Black soothes as Purple nods frantically, “okay, baby, take one more deep breath for me and I’ll show you.”

 Purple takes a breath as Black moves their hands a little further away from the maw. They relax and let the suit slip enough to fall open.

 Purple gasps as the maw opens, rows and rows of teeth and a long tongue that lolls slightly out. Black rumbles contentedly, shifting Purple’s weight in their lap as the maw purrs.

 “Whoa!”

 “That’s it, baby, see? I can breathe, it’s not a problem.” They rub their thumb across Purple’s cheek. “It’s right there, it’s okay.”

 “You have so many teeth,” Purple mumbles, “can I—is it okay?”

 Well, it’s the first time Black’s had someone willingly put their hand in their maw.

 “Be careful, baby, they’re sharp.”

 “You look like a shark! So many!”

 “A shark?”

 “It’s a big fish. Lives in the water, eats a lot of things.” Purple’s hand carefully traces one of Black’s teeth, the maw still purring. “But they don’t purr.”

 Black chuckles. “No, I would guess not.”

 “Is this what you really look like? You have a m-maw?”

 “Maw, that’s right.”

 “A maw and no arms or legs?”

 “…sort of.”

 “Will you show me the rest of it?” Purple stares up at them. “Please?”

 “You don’t have to beg, baby,” Black says, because how can anyone say no to that face, “I’ll show you. I just don’t want to scare you.”

 “Scare me?”

 “I don’t look like a human, baby,” they say softly, “I don’t want you to be afraid of me.”

 Purple is quiet for a moment. Then they twist their hands through Black’s and clutch tight.

 “Humans are the scary ones,” they say in a voice that sounds far too old for them, “you’re not.”

 Well.

 “Okay, then,” Black says, carefully lifting them up and settling them back on the co-pilot’s seat, “just stay there for a moment, baby.”

 “Okay.”

 Black steps back and rolls their shoulders. Okay. Okay. They’re gonna do this. They’re gonna willingly show their body to a human. They’re gonna show their body to a human and trust them. Fuck, they’re gonna show their body to a human.

 Something burns in their gut. It’s so old that for a moment they don’t recognize it. It reaches into the tips of their fingers and clenches, locking the fake limbs with a vice grip and it tingles. For a moment, the suit feels heavy.

 Then they grit their teeth and shift.

 Their maw unfurls, still rumbling, as their arms come out properly, churning there on the floor of the bridge. They rear their head up and stretch, letting Purple see them. All of them.

 Purple’s mouth drops open. The ball falls to the floor with a clang.

 “You’re an octopus?”

 Black tilts their head. Purple slides off the chair and takes a step closer. Black draws away, wary of one of their arms accidentally snagging the poor thing or the maw getting too excited, only for Purple to walk all the way up to them and reach out.

 “Can I?”

 A…they…they want to touch Black like this?

 They relax slightly, still swirling about on the floor, as Purple reaches out and carefully runs their hand over one of the arms.

 “You feel cold,” Purple mumbles, “are you cold? Here—“

 And Purple wraps their arms around Black’s middle, not caring about the gaping maw rumbling against their body.

 Oh.

 Oh.

 Purple is so warm.

 Almost unconsciously, Black’s arms start to swirl towards them, making a little nest of arms to cradle Purple to them. They keep a path out in case Purple decides to pull away, but for the most part, it seems Purple is more than happy to curl up, right here, in their arms.

 “You’re not scary,” Purple mumbles, “I like you.”

 The maw purrs, nibbling gently at the borrowed fatigue shirt. Purple giggles. Black rumbles and slowly starts to reform their suit. They keep the human head and nuzzle Purple’s head as they hug them back.

 “Why’d you go back?”

 “There’s no need to look so disappointed,” they laugh, “I just can’t talk to you when I’m like that. Don’t have the right muscles to speak your language.”

 “Oh.” Purple gives them a squeeze anyway. “I like your body. I think it’s cool.”

 Black lets out a rush of breath, warming the top of their head. “I’m…glad.”

 “You looked like an octopus!”

 “What’s an octopus?”

 As Purple begins to explain this creature that—wow, maybe they were wrong, that does sound familiar—they saw in a book once, Black lets their mouth and maw curl up into a smile.

 The ball lies forgotten on the floor of the bridge as Black lets one of their arms out for Purple to clutch under their chin. It becomes their favorite thing to hang onto when the Skeld gets cold.

five. IGURO OBANAI

suna rintaro x fem! mitsuri reader

(kny x hq)

warnings: spelling mistakes,  3k+ words, italicized words/ sentences are her thoughts, mitsuri’s hair+eye color was used.

gen masterlist.      sakura mochi.

"hey y/n, wanna eat out later?" atsumu asked her as he slipped off his jacket "nope" she refused, much to his surprise "oh uh- i mean, i can't!" she explained with a nervous laugh 

"eh?? where are ya going??" atsumu exclaimed as he crossed his arms over his chest

"ah, i have to visit the kimetsu dojo today" she replied "sorry, tsumu-kun" she continued packing her bag, putting away her things in her locker as she changed her indoor shoes 

"but-but we were gon' take ya out after school!" atsumu whined as he watched her slip on a white haori. she patted down her skirt and hesitantly fiddled with her hands "well..you can take me out tomorrow.?" she suggested 

"its not the same.." atsumu sulked "dumbass. its the same thing." osamu scowled as he slapped the blonde on his nape. "and don't worry about it, y/n" osamu reassured her "if ya want, we can walk ya there" 

she immediately shook her head and declined his offer. a bright smile etching on her lips as she giddily pulled out her phone. "no need to do that, samu-kun" she said "obanai-kun is picking me up today! he said we'll walk together and get some food on the way there" she exclaimed 

she showed them her phone which held the text messages between the two hashiras. 

"alright.." osamu replied, narrowing his eyes as he studied her overjoyed state "but who's this 'obanai' guy, hm?" he questioned her with a dark look on his face 

y/n didn't seem to be bothered, however. she simply twirled around, smiling gleefully as she fiddles with her hair 

"obanai-kun is the sweetest!" she squealed "he's so nice and welcoming! and he always makes me mochi when im feeling down"

"he's the nicest boy ever!!" she gushed as she held her cheeks in her hands 

osamu and atsumu blinked in response, nodding along to her claims. although they were quite sure it was a bit farfetched. seeing as, she always seems to have a completely different way of viewing a person. the said 'way' being, simply disregarding any and every bad thing about them. 

"oi, what's goin on here?" aran chimed in as he and kita stopped before them "y/n's goin away with a boy. she's leaving us." atsumu replied gloomily 

"eh?! tsumu-kun im just gonna train for kendo!!" she exclaimed as she nervously patted his back 

aran sweat dropped and chuckled at their exchange, all while kita simply hums and gingerly touches her haori "i don't know much about kendo, but i can tell its not an easy sport." kita said "i admire your skill, y/n-san" 

she blinked in shock and shakily placed her hands over her pounding chest. "ahm- you- really?!" she squeaked out "yes" kita answered her 

'AKNSNSNSN he admires me?!?!'  she screamed internally 

'ME TOO ME TOO!! I ADMIRE YOU TOO, KITA-SAN!!'

'wait no.. he said he admires my skill, not me'  she sulked in realisation 

kita watched in slight worry as her expression visibly brightens, and abruptly drops. he could only wonder whatever it is that runs in her mind. "well, i have to go now" she announced as she waved them goodbye "i see obanai-kun by the gate" she said as she briefly pointed to a guy standing by the school's entrance

"see you!!" she said as she ran towards the said boy. the boys all share a glance and a curt nod. silently agreeing to follow her. 

"obanai-kun!!" she greeted him with a wide grin as she threw her arms around the boy "y/n.." obanai mumbled as he lightly hugged her waist 

"its nice to see you again" he said in a gentle tone as his heterochromatic eyes studied her uniform-clad body "you look good" obanai complimented her as he handed her, her sheathed sword 

"wah!! thank you, obanai-kun!" she replied with a grateful smile as she tucks her sword in her belt "its been so long since we've seen each other! i was starting to miss sleeping next to you" she chuckled sheepishly "it always made me feel better" she admitted with a sweet smile 

obanai stiffened upon hearing the newfound information, blushing heavily under his bandages as he gulped. "uh i- i missed you too, y/n" he muttered quite bashfully 

she grinned happily as she intertwined their fingers together. obanai let out a breath of nervousness as he hesitantly pulled her closer. he was most likely blushing like a mad man at the moment. 

her soft skin clashing with his lightly scarred and calloused ones had always been his favourite feeling. 

"i guess her friend had good intentions after all" kita hummed as he eyed the mysterious looking boy 

"he seems quite nice. just like she said." kita voiced out his observation as he watched her talk the boy's ear off. 

"i don't trust him." atsumu narrowed his eyes at the black-haired hashira "he seems sketchy.." atsumu scowled as he glared daggers at the boy, eyeing him down in distaste. 

obanai gritted his teeth under his bandages, and snapped his eyes towards atsumu. his hetrochromatic orbs bore through atsumu as various veins of aggravation popped themselves up on his forehead. 

"agh! the hell?!" atsumu whisper shouted as he hid his face behind aran's shoulder "why's he lookin at me like that?!" atsumu snarled as he looked back to glare at him 

though, it only backfired since obanai had never once averted his intense glare. except this time, it was much worse, if that was even possible. "oh! you've spotted atsumu-kun?" she cooed as she followed obanai's line of sight 

"yeah. that ugly pice of crap had been glaring at me like some freak. i'll gauge his eyes out if he starts eyeing you." obanai growled as he pulled the girl closer to his side 

"haha! you're so funny, obanai!" she laughed cluelessly, patting his back as she giggled. "im not joking." obanai said "i'll cut his damn balls off." 

she smiled brightly and giggled fondly at his threat joke. 

'ah, obanai-kun has always been expressive of his thoughts <3 how wonderful!'  she thought to herself 

"let's go meet them! i'll introduce you so you can get along with my new friends" she proposed as she dragged him towards the boys' direction 

although obanai had no ounce of interest in meeting her friends, he complied either way. he grumbled under his breath as they neared a group of boys huddled around the corner. 

"everyone, i want you to meet obanai-kun!!" she announced as she pushed him infront to present him before the boys 

"he's the friend i mentioned" she said as she untangled their intertwined hands to force him to wave "obanai-kun, go on" she hummed expectantly as she looked at him with hopeful eyes 

"..." 

no one had uttered a word as the inarizaki boys looked down at the black haired boy, silently studying him as he refused to make eye contact with them. 

"iguro obanai." was all he said. he looked up at them with deadpan eyes, a look of boredom and disinterest present in his features. the boys had almost scoffed at the rudeness this boy was showing. 

"yup yup! he's my best friend!! so i hope you get along" y/n cooed happily as she watched them smile warmingly at each other. 

or atleast, that's what she sees. the boys were all standing in their full height, chest puffed up as they stared stoicly at iguro. all while the snake hashira stared at them with a scowl. his hands were itching to unsheath his blade, but he was able to contain himself. 

"ojiro aran." aran was the first to introduce himself. "kita shinsuke." kita chimed in, bowing politely despite obanai's harsh impression. 

"miya osamu." osamu exclaimed, standing in all of his six foot glory as he glared down at obanai. though, obanai simply looked at him, unfazed and unbothered as he responded with a curt nod. 

atsumu then stepped forward, leaning down teasingly to match iguro's height as he lends out his hand for him to shake. "miya atsumu. a pleasure." atsumu spat out paired with an irked smile 

obanai narrowed his eyes in annoyance, glancing down at the setter's hand and grimacing in distaste. the hashira looked back at y/n, hoping to plead for them to make their exit. though he was only met with y/n smiling flusteredly to herself, murmuring and blushing as she watched their very tense interaction.

obanai sighed and reluctantly took atsumu's hand, giving him a firm grip before quickly retracting it back.

"ah, it's so nice to meet you. so nice." atsumu cooed teasingly as he pulled obanai's hand back.the blond gave his hand a firm squeeze, smiling innocently as he intended to inflict pain on the male.

obviously it didn't work, seeing as obanai could barely feel his grip on him."i could say the same." obanai hissed out as he squeezed atsumu's hand back except his grip was far worse, and atsumu swore he felt his bones slowly bending until they're in the verge of snapping off. 

hissing in pain, atsumu hastily pulled his hand back. he glared at the boy as he shook off his hand, trying to hide the pain. it was fairly shocking that he could pack such immense strength in his 5'3 body. 

"anyways. if there are no more pointless distractions, we'd like to get going." obanai said as he turned away from them "y/n, let's go." obanai said as he placed his hand on her back, gently leading her away as he takes her bag from her shoulders. 

"eh? but you haven't met suna-kun yet" she pouted as she tugged obanai to keep him in place 

"what." obanai scowled as he noticed her lovestruck expression. his eyes narrowed as he scanned the place for this 'suna' she spoke of. 

"suna-kun is really nice and down to earth. you two will get along, for sure!" she beamed 

obanai scrunched his nose, looking away from her as he picks at his  skin in annoyance. he was quite sure that they wouldn't get along. "fine. but after that, we'll leave okay?" obanai cooed hopefully as he tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear 

"yes, thanks so much, obanai-kun!" she cheered as she looked around for the middle blocker 

"oh, i see him!!" she perked up as she saw suna walking out of the building with his eyes glued on his phone "suna-kun!!" she waved her hand to get his attention 

suna looked up to see her smiling oh-so-sweetly at him, waving her hand as she calls his name. "hey" he said as he lazily waved back 

"tch." obanai clicked his tongue 

suna's eyes then travelled over to obanai who was looming over her shoulder, glaring at him with knotted brows and a scowl. 

"this is obanai-kun!" she said as she gestured to the boy beside her "obanai, suna. suna, obanai." she said. she had taken the liberty to introduce them to each other, seeing as the two had refused to utter a single word for the past two minutes of staring at each other. 

"... let's go." obanai said to break the silence. 

he sent suna a nod of acknowledgement as he gently took y/n's hand in his. "eh? but you haven't even spoken to each other" she pouted as she sent suna an apologetic glance

"were gonna be late if we stay here for too long" obanai reasoned. the truth is, he genuinely felt like cutting the man's head off the longer time had passed. 

"i guess so.." she mumbled. she latched onto obanai's arm as she looked back to wave at the boys. "we'll be off! bye everyone" she said as she waved them goodbye

the boys silently wave back, watching their retreating figures as the pair shared a conversation. 

suna raised a brow as he stared at obanai's back. "what the hell just happened?" suna muttered as he ruffled his hair "what's that guy's problem?" he sneered with a small scoff 

"maybe he just hasn't warmed up to us yet" kita suggested to ease the tension down "im pretty sure he just hates us" aran snickered as he looked back at the twins, who were quite literally seething. 

"i'll kill him if he hurts my precious y/n-chan!!" atsumu exclaimed 

"shut the fuck up atsumu, the whole school can hear ya screaming" 

"ah, seeing everyone again will be so nice" she said as she stretched her arms over her head. "right, obanai-kun?" she hummed as she turned around to face him 

obanai quickly looked away, as to hide the fact that he had been staring at her side profile this whole time. he wasn't fast enough of course. y/n simply giggled as she caught him trying to play it off with a laugh 

"yeah. it's nice i guess" he answered with a grunt "but im not looking forward to see those three brats from the kamaboko squad" obanai scowled "the girl is slightly more tolerable given that she doesn't speak" he said 

"aww, don't be like that! the boys are all so nice and cute!!" she gushed as she playfully slapped obanai's chest "and nezuko-chan is so adorable!! if i ever get married i won't die unless i have a baby like her" she dawned as she held her blushing cheeks in her hands 

"is that so." obanai hummed as he looked at her longingly with a fond smile 

"or maybe i can just adopt her and make her my child" she hummed thoughtfully "but that would mean i have to adopt tanjiro-kun too" she muttered "that would be nice!!" she beamed "right, obanai-kun?" she mused 

"we could raise them together and feed them all day long" she gushed lovingly as she swayed their hands around 

obanai froze, blinking dumbfoundedly at her as a hit feeling creot up onto his cheeks "um uh- you want to have children.. with m-me?" he asked in astonishment 

he pointed to himself as he waited for her response. "y/n.." obanai mumbled, feeling kaburamaru hiss teasingly in his ear  "i-" 

unfortunately, he was cut off by a loud shrieking, followed by obnoxious laughter from the distance. "y/n-senpaaiiii!!!" zenitsu shrieked as he sprinted towards her with open arms, his tears freely flowing down his cheeks 

"Y/N-SENPAI THE BOAR IS CHASING ME!!!" zenitsu cried "NYAHAHAHAH OI MONITSU, FIGHT ME! FIGHT ME!" inosuke cackled loudly 

"tch. those lowlifes are at it again" obanai scoffed as he crossed his arms 

"Y/N-SENPAI, P-P-PLEASE MARRY ME!! THAT BOAR HEAD IS GONNA KILL ME! PLEASE BE MY WIFE BEFORE I DIE!!" zenitsu exclaimed 

she staggered lightly as zenitsu jumped onto her, clutching onto her torso tightly as he cried "are you okay, zenitsu?" she cooed with a soft laugh as she cradled him in her arms "N-NO?!?! THE PIG HAD GONE MAD! HE'S CRAZY!" he exclaimed 

"NYAHAHA OI! YOU, PILLAR GIRL! FIGHT ME!" inosuke challenged as he swung his swords around "oh my, that sounds like fun!" she cheered as she jumped away just before his swords could slash her 

"y/n-senpai!! i love you so much! you saved me!! please be my wife!!" zenitsu cried out as he nuzzled his face into the crook of her neck "ara, zenitsu~" she cooed teasingly as she gently pried his arms off her 

though obanai beat her to it by harshly plucking him off her body and slamming him down on the ground "get your filthy hands off her, you good for nothing coward." obanai scowled with malice 

kaburamaru hissed at zenitsu, both he and his owner glaring at the boy with snake-like eyes. 

zenitsu froze in his spot, staring up at the snake hashira with teary eyes, and his mouth gaping as he tried to utter an apology "uh i- she-.. iguro-senpai-" zenitsu stammered 

obanai simply continued to glare at him, reaching forward to grab him by the collar. though he was cut short as he heard y/n clicking her tongue in disappointment. 

"tsk, tsk, tsk." she wagged her finger scoldingly at obanai "you shouldn't call our juniors mean names, obanai-kun" she said with a sigh "zenitsu might be quickly frightened at times, but he's not a 'good for nothing' " she said 

she helped zenitsu up to his feet, and the boy was quick to hide behind her. "apologise" she demanded 

obanai looked at her in disbelief, not really accepting that she chose to side with zenitsu instead of him. 

"or else i won't talk to you" she threatened

his eye twitched as he forced himself to look the blond in the eyes. his hands shook as he clenched them into fists, and kaburamaru reluctantly bowed his head as well. 

"s-sorry" he spat out in a strained voice. it was quite obvious that it took him half, if not most, of his dignity to do so.

"its fine!" zenitsu shrieked as he hugged the girl's arm for protection

with that, she visibly brightened up, smiling warmly at them as she pats both of their heads in glee. "that's better!" she cheered "now, let's go train, yeah?" she mused as she started walking off, and having to drag her arm to carry zenitsu's weight, since he still hadn't let go. 

"tch." obanai scowled as he watched zenitsu continue to pester her, and for inosuke to follow suit

"ah, iguro-senpai?" cooed another voice 

he swiftly turned around to see tanjiro smiling kindly at him, sending him a wave as he walks towards him. 

"how was your day-" tanjiro was cut off by a fist colliding with his head. it didn't hurt him too bad, of course. but the force of the punch was strong enough to leave him staggering and to fall on the ground. 

"shut up, you goody-goody forehead!!" obanai snarled at him, while his snake hissed menacingly 

tanjiro had a look of dread on his face as he looked up at the hashira in utter confusion 

"what did i do?!" 

hermaphroditorum turpis diem

This has two parts: Information and the fic itself. For slightly easier accessibility, I will put both in this post itself.

Some information first:

Summary: Lord Sanger disembarks from the Flying Circus to return something to the Inspector, as Clara concocts a scheme. (For the Thursday prompt ‘Favourite Place/ Setting of the Victoriocity Appreciation Week 2021 and a belated Bi Visibility Day post. Takes place during ‘SMS Brandenburg’, shortly after Keller’s rescue.)

Fandoms: Victoriocity(Podcast)

Rating: General Audiences

Relationships: M/M, Gen

Word count: 749 words

Characters: Lord Sanger/ Inspector Archibald Fleet, Lord Sanger, Inspector Archibald Fleet, Clara Entwhistle, Father Kilburn. 

Additional Tags: Crackship, (belated) Happy Bi Visibility Day everyone!, wanted to post this yesterday, but was way too tired to finish heh, special thanks to @shutupeiffel  for the idea of Flanger being a mechanical part and wholeheartedly agreeing on the whole actor dynamic leaking into every show they’re in as a ship(crack or otherwise), so this is probably Chapyard as well, speaking of, Sanger is a simp, crackship, crack treated seriously(?), can’t really think of much else, author regrets everything(but not the ship itself), no beta we ship like Clara, here you go

@victoriocity-appreciation for the Favourite Place/Setting.

Part 5.5 of Love, Actually.

This was the information. For the rest of the fic, it’s all under the cut.

The world had never before seen such a wonder as the Flying Circus, owned and maintained by one Lord Sanger, who was just as much of a mystery to the circus members (and Fr. Kilburn) as he was to the rest of the world.

“Full of secrets, that one,” the priest lamented. “Almost as much as an enigma as our Lord and Savior, Archibald Fleet. Speaking of, I haven’t really seen any of them, since we took our little trip out to sea…”

The members of the congregation lamented their decisions to even attend the sermon in the first place.

Kilburn rambled on. “Do you think we should try to find out the whereabouts of our mechanical miracle, or should we wait for them to return.”

Someone in the audience, new, most likely, since no one really even wanted to be there in the first place asked: “Hasn’t anyone seen the Great Archibald Fleet?”

“Nonsense, my man, if we had seen him, the people present here today would truly understand what a miracle he is!”

The members present groaned. Another person, a child really, asked, “Weren’t we talking about Mr. Sanger a minute ago?”

“We were!” As he clarified the truth of the statement, the priest remembered something, a little piece of offhand information, that Sanger had shared with him, shortly before disappearing off to…

Kilburn knew exactly where.

_______________________________________________

In the meantime, while the priest rambled about mechanical saviours and mysterious circus men, Lord Sanger disembarked from his cabin, landing up smack in the middle of the park. It was a funny feeling, being on ground, but he was a man on a mission, and that mission was to contact the Inspector.

He didn’t have to look very far. The Inspector and Ms. Entwhistle, atleast from where he was standing, appeared to be almost entirely drenched(in sea water, he’d assumed, since that was where he’d seen her last) waving off a hot air balloon, which after dropping them off, looked like it was headed toward the palace.

He wouldn’t have called himself athletic in the least, though the amount of time he took to reach there was praiseworthy, if he might say so himself.

He waved at them as he ran along. “Inspector, Ms. Entwhistle!”

She waved back with equal enthusiasm, while the Inspector cocked his head, looking slightly puzzled. “Lord Sanger? What are you doing he- on the ground?”

“Oh, I just came here to return something of yours actually.”

He looked even more puzzled, a surprisingly endearing expression, and asked: “Mine?”

“Well, I don’t know much about mechanics here, but I think this is yours.” He held out the strange part he’d just found lying around on the floor of the circus, mostly using it as an intent to talk to the pair. As far as he knew, it could just as easily belong the to the Inspector.

Ms. Entwhistle smiled at the part, and snarked, “I didn’t know you actually went about dropping flangers now, Fleet.”

He wasn’t sure he’d heard her correctly. Flanger? He blinked. “A flanger?”

Apparently, Fleet was also wondering the same thing, as he asked, with a strained smile, “Clara, what are you doing.”

“Just thanking Lord Sanger for being so kind as to COME ALL THE WAY HERE (it was a strange emphasis, even he had to admit that) to return your flanger.”

“Er. Thank you, Lord Sanger.”

He beamed at the pair. “Not a problem. Well. I suppose my work here is done.” With that, he began to walk back toward the park, not quite sure of this new feeling he had about the Inspector. Sanger knew he admired women, had loved many even. Was it really possible to feel this way about men at the same time?

It was quite the thought, and Sanger shook it away immediately. No, it just wasn’t right. Was it?

He had just about spent a long four seconds deliberating on this, when he heard Ms. Entwhistle call: “Could you wait a minute, please?”

“Yes?”

Maybe it was just in his imagination, but he could have SWORN that Ms. Entwhistle’s smile had grown bigger, even if just by the fraction. “I’m headed in a different direction, Fleet, goodbye!”

The Inspector glared at her, while Sanger chuckled to himself. He wasn’t quite sure what her motivations were, but he wasn’t about to question them any time soon.

“The coffee house, then?”

To his immense surprise, the Inspector smiled at this. “To the coffee house.”

1,2,15,and 22 for the writer asks?

Ooh Yay! Thanks for the ask! Maybe I’m procrastinating writing??? but whatever, this is fun!

1. Is there a favorite character or title you enjoy writing for the most?

heh this is easy. I’m perpetually stuck between Mace, Obi-Wan, Yoda, or Luminara. Yoda I prefer to write as a side character tbh mainly because I want him to be extra grandpa to his fellow Jedi lmao. But yeah, I love writing Obi-Wan because I feel like we’re pretty similar and I can sink into his thought process quite easily which is a plus. Mace is a really fun character to write because I like to balance his emotional/soft side with his more rational, I have to do what is necessary side. Personally I also empathise with Mace a whole bunch because I also have quite a large rational side, which is a plus. I tend to think that he usually knows what he needs to do and he might dislike it, but he will still do it. I just love Mace, okay, and of course I’m overwriting shitty fanon Mace Windu because no he doesn’t hate Anakin, and yes he loves Depa so much that when she didn’t give him a hug he was super depresso. He’s just so sweet, but he knows that sometimes shit has to be done and moping around complaining won’t make anything better. Luminara is just sweet. I want to write so much more for her, but I tend to have her as a side character in my fics (a tragedy I know) but I am working on making her more of a main character is some fics. She’s very much like Mace in that she understands that sometimes to do the right thing, you must sacrifice stuff that you love which is commendable imo. She also loves Barriss very much and I headcanon that she and Obi-Wan are best buds. She and Obi-Wan definitely geek out about the stupidest shit, you can’t change my mind. 

2.  Is there a least favorite character or title you dislike writing for?

Uhh... typically I tend to avoid characters who I don’t want to write because i find it difficult to write them and not enjoyable. But I’ll share a few for this sake. Palpatine kinda makes me feel slimy when I write him. It can be fun to write crack Palpatine, but realistic trying to write him can be a nightmare for me. I don’t really know how to write manipulative sheev well, so I feel it ends up very much crackfic feelings. 

Anakin is also difficult, but sometimes I enjoy the challenge. He can be pretty complex to some, but for me the pain is trying to write his priorities because christ he can’t get them straight at all. Post!aotc Anakin is obviously placing Padmè VERY high (at the top lmao) but not really because if it were that he’d leave the order to be with her. Idk I get very confused writing him. I also feel very apprehensive posting stuff with Anakin because I know a lot of people love him and have somewhat specific (typically fanon) ideas about him and also have very strong feelings about those. I’m not saying you can’t have them, but sometimes I worry that I’ll be attacked because my view on Anakin is far from friendly lmao. Tbh Padmè suffers similarly because I don’t know how to write her without being mean xD. I don’t really understand many of her motivations surrounding the secret marriage and shit and her prioritisation is also strange. I mean the whole ignoring the Tusken massacre basically and only turning from Anakin after Anakin tells his part in breaking the Republic (not listening to Obi-Wan say he killed Jedi) makes it ahrd to sympathise. Fandom has a typically positive view of her and I don’t want to anger anyone with my views, so I try to keep a somewhat ambivalent take with her. I haven’t written anything starring her/them together much so yeah. 

I actually like writing Ahsoka because she’s pretty cool, but I’m very nervous posting stuff about her post wrong Jedi arc because I think my views on it are pretty unpopular, and some of her fans are very... vehement about their views which is fine as logn as you’re not trying to invalidate my interpretation you know? Kind of makes me sad since I do love her character, but sometimes her fans put me off. 

Idk if this counts but also romance. Personally never really had a great one, so I don’t understand how to properly write it which makes it hard, and I don’t see the draw of it. I tend to both read and write platonic stuff. Lots of gen for me :)

15. What made you start to write fanfiction/stories?

I think @jedimasterbailey said she started writing Luminara stuff/fanfic in general because of the amount of Luminara slander and I kind of do the same but for jedi hate in general. Also, more specifically, Mace Windu hate. It just grinds on my nerves, but I’m not going to sit here and say people can’t write what they do, so yeah I just started writing my own to hopefully inspire others to do the same, or to just shove more pro Jedi shit out there ahaha. I’ve actually gotten a few comments of people saying that my fics have made them like/appreciate Mace a bit more which means a lot since he’s one of my favourite characters. 

More than that, thought, I just enjoy fanfic. I had loads of ideas for stories from multiple fandoms and I thought I might start posting some of them because they’re doing nothing just chilling in my drive. Also all the lovely writers of fic in multiple fandoms inspired me, so thanks to you I kind of got the courage to actually upload anything :)

22. Care to share any future WIP ideas you have lined up?

Ooh boy I got loads heheh. But I’ll talk of a few. So I had this idea about a time travel au (I know so original xD) and it was supposed to be Obi-Wan going back in time, but I actually wanted to kind of combine two different ideas, one being Ahsoka as Obi-Wan’s padawan, and a time travel au to one. So yeah... I have a fic in the works about an Ahsoka who travels back right after Vader kills her on Malachor (no Ezra saving her) and who becomes Obi-Wan’s padawan. This one’s a bit in the begining so it will probably be a while before anything’s posted, but if you want to send some kind of help for it I would appreciate a lot. This will probs be my first really longer fic, so I’m worried I’ll lose motivation which is why I’m going to plan it a bit more than most of my other stuff. I’m so excited because the idea has been bouncing around my head for so long!!!

I have another that is much closer to finishing which is a little 5+1 fic about Obi-Wan and the name Ben. I want to change a few things before posting but it should be coming around soon. It’s a little angsty, but mostly fluff.

Last one I’ll talk about, I promise haha. This one is a little uncertain of when I’ll finish because it’s somewhat written out, but the last bit is KILLING me. It’s an essay style writing up of order 66 and the empires rise. Kind of examining public opinion and stuff about it. Basically exploring how the genocide has affected the universe. It is written after the empire falls, so it talks a bit about the shitty Empire and propoganda and is just a pro jedi love letter xD

For the story asks: 14, 18, 20, 26, 28, 32, 33

Gonna do it for The Immortal / Gamall Sullyan

14. do you have any regrets about your story so far? if you could go back in time, how would you fix these?

Not really. In the Immortal I have my plot ideas and let the game run wild and go with the flow.

18. choose a song that reminds you of your story

The Immortal / [Ga]Mal[l] Sullyvan - Outdevilled by JT Music

Ask me how I've been went through hell and then Found myself atop an ivory tower - I'll be damned I prayed that I'd ascended, from grace I fell again Who says a halo's unbreakable when they're bound to bend? They locked the pearly gates on me, I'm one unwelcome man No more are you a saint than me, take off the cowl, fan Play the role of holier-than-thou while you can Because seeds of evil seek the ground within your hallowed land You'll reap a sour crop and meet a foul end Go tend your flock of sheep, I'll be there on prowl, lamb A lone wolf approaches hearken to the howling His well-developed palate means the devil's for devourin' I leapt into the fire, flying right out the pan Now I'm on the other side of it where I'm proud to stand Heaven and hell have empowered me with a balance in Between my inner demon and me, in fact I found a friend Knock me down and I'll rally before the count of ten You think I'll stop cause an hourglass ran out of sand? Throw in your towels, you cowards, I'll wipe my brow with them I blossom with Argent energy like a power plant Why would a god covet the crown of man? Only unto myself truly devout I am This is my testament, no one's professing louder and When tresspassers pay off their penance I'll lend a helping hand Fuck a mole hill, I'm fit to move a mountain, man I'll take any challenge if you tell me that you doubt I can.

20. choose your favourite shot from your story so far

26. have other sim stories inspired you?

Yes. The first story to inspire me was a TS3 legacy challenge known as the Blood legacy, by blackcatsims, her story got me interested in starting.

28. if you could reproduce your story in another medium (movie, novel, comic, etc.) what would you choose and why?

Comic. I always had a dream of making my own comic. Maybe in the future if I can surpass my motivation and depression issues.

32. give a light spoiler

This gen I will play out both the RoM gamepack and the Supernatural stuffpack. Plot ensues.

33. recommend another creator’s story!

My current faves are:

@izayoichan's Stranger Trio;

@lazysunjade/@simlit Age of Arcanai.

@dandylion240 Not so Quiet Life.

@pink-chevalier's Knight Legacy.

@whyhellosims Aldritch Legacy.

@dynastiasimss Winter Echo.

k-drama rec list

Prior to 2020 I’d maybe watched 2 k-dramas in my entire life, but this year I got sucked in, thanks to some great recs, and y’know, *gestures * everything.  

I think I’d held off watching kdramas because my impression of them was limited to romances that I didn’t enjoy at all. But this was the year I discovered the equivalent of “gen fic” kdrama- dramas that had wonderful ensemble casts, strong story lines that weren’t entirely romance focused and also a variety in terms of themes and styles. A big plus was that I found so many of these dramas had women leading the writers’ room, and seeing the effect of that in the story telling. (Notable exceptions: a certain “star” writer who should please stop inflicting her badly written, formulaic crap on the world, yes Kim Eun-Sook, I mean you, and whoever wrote that trashfire Flower of Evil)

So here I am with my own rec list! Caveat- these are mostly not the dramas released in 2020, I’m still playing catch up! :)

Under the cut for length

My Mister/ My Ahjussi  (2018, Written by Park Hae-Young, Directed by Kim Won-Seok, starring Lee Sun-kyun and Lee Ji-eun aka IU) 

This was definitely my absolute favourite of the shows I watched this year across western/ asian media. It’s a story about the thread that binds us all and the ineffability of human connection. It’s also a story that deconstructs ideas of masculinity and honour and shame in a non-western context, but with an extremely compassionate touch.  It’s a story that doesn’t shy away from showing the consequences of material and spiritual poverty; and how one can so easily feed into the other. It’s a love story that isn’t a romance, except that it’s a Romance. It’s about finding salvation in one another and in the kindness of strangers.  It’s about choosing life, and picking yourself up off the floor to take that one last step and then the next and then the next. The one quibble I have with the series is that it could have been better paced, it does get extremely slow after the half way mark. But god, do they land the ending. Both Lee Sun-kyun and IU turn in absolutely heartbreaking performances, and fair warning, be prepared to go through an entire box of tissues watching this series. 

Life  (2018,  written by Lee Soo-yeon  and directed by Hong Jong-chan, starring Lee Dong-wook, Cho Seung-woo, Won Jin-ah, Lee Kyu-hyung, Yoo Jae-myung and Moon So-ri.)

Medical dramas are very much not my thing, and I wouldn’t have taken a chance on it except that @michyeosseo said I should, and she was right! It’s a medical drama in the sense that it’s set in a hospital, but rather than a “case-fic” format, this is actually a sharp commentary on the corporatization of health care, and the business of mixing, well, money and what should be a fundamental human right. Writer Lee Soo-yeon was coming off the global success of Stranger/Secret Forest S1 when this aired, so I understand that expectations were probably sky-high, and people were disappointed when this show didn’t give them the adrenaline rush that they wanted. On the other hand, I thought that this outing was really much more nuanced in terms of the politics and also how the ending doesn’t allow you the luxury of easy-fixes. This show has a great ensemble cast, and while it took me a while to get used to Lee Dong-wook’s woodenness (i ended up calling him mr.cadaver after watching this and was surprised to learn that he’s very popular?), in the end I was quite sold on his version of angry angst-bucket elder-sibling Dr.Ye Jin-woo. His best scenes were with Lee Kyu-hyung who turns in a lovely, achy performance as the paraplegic Dr. Ye Seon-woo who just wants to live a normal life. The love story between the two brothers is actually the emotional backbone of the story, and I think they landed that perfectly. 

My one quibble with writer-nim is that she ended up writing in a forgettable and somewhat (for me at least) uncomfortable romance between the characters played by Won Jin-ah and Cho Seung-Woo. I think part of my uncomfortable-feeling was that I got the strong sense that the writer herself didn’t want to write this romance, it was as if she was being made to shoe-horn it in for Studio Reasons, and she basically grit her teeth and did the worst possible job of it.  I do wish we could have absolutely had the OT3 of my dreams: Moon So-ri/Cho Seung-woo/Yoo Jae-myung like, c’mon TV gods MAKE IT HAPPEN, just...look at them!!!! 

Anyway, that apart, I think this was a very engaging series, and by engaging, I also mean thirst-enabling, see below. 

 Stranger (aka Secret Forest  or Forest of Secrets) S1 & 2 : (2017-, Written by Lee Soo-yeon, directed by 

2017′s smash hit aired a much anticipated second season in 2020, and I managed to catch up just in time to watch that live, so that was thrilling :D . Writer Lee Soo-yeon  mixes up thriller/office comedy/political commentary in an ambitious series. I think S1 is more “exciting” than S2 in terms of the mystery and pacing,  but S2 is far more dense and interesting in terms of political commentary because it takes a long hard look at institutional corruption and in true writer-nim fashion doesn’t prescribe any easy solutions. Anyway, please enjoy public prosecutor Cho Seung-woo and police officer Bae Doona as partners/soulmates kicking ass and taking names in pursuit of Truth, Justice and just a goddamn peaceful meal, along with a stunningly competent ensemble cast. Also yes, Han Yeo Jin is a lesbian, sorry, I don’t make the rules. 

Search: WWW  (2019, Written by Kwon Do-Eun, directed by Jung Ji-hyun & Kwon Young-il, starring  Im Soo-jung, Lee Da-hee, Jeon Hye-jin)

GOD. Where do I start? +1000 for writer Kwon Do-Eun saying “fuck the patriarchy” in the most grandiose way possible, i.e. absolutely refusing to acknowledge that it exists. Yes, this is that power fantasy, and it’s also a fun, slice-of-life  tale about three women navigating their way through work, romance, national politics and everything in between. It’s true that I wasn’t entirely sold on the amount of time spent on the romance, and I really wish they’d actually had a textual wlw romance, though the subtext through the entire series is PRACTICALLY TEXT. But still, it maintains that veneer of plausible deniability and I think queer fans who are sick of that kind of treatment in media have a very valid grouse against the show. On the other hand, personally I felt that the queer-platonic vibe of the show is very wonderful and true to real life, and it was only reinforced by the ending. This is a show written by a woman for women (like me), and it shows. 

Hyena  (2020, Written by Kim Roo-Ri, directed by Jang Tae-yoo & Lee Chang Woo, starring  Kim Hye-soo and Ju Ji-hoon )

Those of you who’ve been watching hit zombie epic Kingdom are probably familiar with Ju Ji-hoon’s brand of sexiness already. I had not watched Kingdom and got hit in the face by Mr.Sexy McSexyPants’ turn as a brash, privileged-by-birth, up and coming lawyer who gets completely runover by the smoking hot and incredibly dangerous fellow lawyer/competitor from the other side of the tracks in the person of Kim Hye-Soo. When I say they set the room on fire, I mean it, ok. Every single scene between these two is an actual bonfire of sexual attraction and emotional hand grenades, and they’re both absolutely riveting to watch. “Flower of Evil” wishes they had what this show has- an actual grown up romance as opposed to a thirteen year old twilight fan’s idea of an adult romance. 

The “lawyer” shenanigans and the “cases” are hit or miss, and I think the occasional comedy fell flat for me. But that’s not why I mainlined like 6 episodes of this series overnight like a coke addict, and that’s not why you’re going to do it either. It’s so RARE, even in these enlightened days to find a female character like Jung Geum-ja: hard as nails, unapologetic about it, and not punished by the narrative for it. The best part for me is that she feels like a woman’s woman, not a man’s idea of what a Strong Female Character should be. Anyways, when I grow up I want to have what Kim Hye-soo has ok?

Other dramas that I watched this year, quickly rated:

The King: Eternal Monarch (3/10 and those 3 points are only for the combined goodness of second leads who deserved better- Jung Eun Chae, Woo Do Hwan and Kim Kyung Nam. Please head over to my AO3 and read my attempts to fix this garbage fire and rescue their characters from canon)

Flower of Evil (-10/100, dont @ me)

Tale of the Nine Tailed (5/10, I think it succeeds at what it set out to do, which is a light hearted, sweet fantasy-romance-melodrama, plus “second lead” Kim Beom will make you cry as the hot mess of a half human/ half fox spirit ALL TEARS character. I think if you’re into kdrama romances as a genre, this is probably a good bet?)

Signal  (7/10,  This was the first full kdrama I watched this year and would definitely recommend. It’s a police procedural with time travel shenanigans and has an engaging plot, good pacing, texture and compelling performances. My one disappointment with it was the way they wrote Kim Hye-soo’s character. As literally the only female character to survive in any way, she was given short shrift, and toward the end it really began to grate on me.)

Six Flying Dragons - (7/10, also would recommend if you’re interested in Korean historicals. It definitely already feels a bit dated in terms of styling and production values, and even scripting and acting choices. But it has a good balance of fantasy and history and political commentary. I was not a fan of Yoo In-Ah’s performance in this series, but it’s not anything that would make you want to nope out of the series. It’s GoT , if GoT was thoughtful about politics and characters and not the misogynist, racist trashfire that it became.)

My Country: The New Age - (3.5/10, and that’s 3 points to Jang Hyuk’s fan and 0.5.points to Woo Do Hwan’s heaving bosom. If you like your historical drama/fantasy with very pretty men, very gay subtext -seriously RIP to show makers who thought they could hetero it but didn’t account for Woo Do Hwan’s Tragic Face- lots of blood and tears and very nonsense plot, this is right up your alley. I probably would have enjoyed it more in other circumstances, I think? But this one just annoyed me too much at the time! 

I have a couple of more dramas to watch on my list, that’ll probably carry me over into 2021, so see ya on the other side! :D

If you’d like to, I’d love a fic rec. I like all the fandoms in your bio so I’d be interested in whatever you want to talk about. Thanks!!

Someone actually sent me the ask I’ve been waiting for oh my god. Anon. You are an incredible person and I love you. Okay so. If we were doing spn recs, this list would be over 300 fics long. If we did Marvel, I’d have to explain my stance on the current comics, and say why I like some parts of the MCU and why I dislike others. For Shadowhunters, and I say this sheepishly, I just posted a fic on my ao3. If you’re interested, please check it out! And I have been on a DC binge lately...so let’s do DC!

Now keep in mind I have so so many fics, so these are just my top favourites. They’re also pretty general and all over the place, so if you want a rec list for a specific ship or gen relationship or fandom, just let me know! I’d be more than happy to write one.

1. Yesterday’s Voices by @lemonadegarden

While trying to take down a drug cartel that deals with memory altering drugs, things go awry, and Batman wakes up with no recollection of the last five years. As a result, his family must now race against time to find the antidote, while also having to deal with a Bruce who still thinks Jason is Robin. A Bruce who doesn't recognise most of them. A Bruce far less jaded and cynical than the one they're used to. A Bruce who still cares.

Gen. 49,000 words. This fic was incredibly sweet with just the right touch of angst. Featuring a lot of Bruce being a dad, Jason and the rest of the batfam making amends. The author has impeccable dialogue and conveys the emotions of the characters beautifully. The pacing is a bit off, though, and the beginning seems rushed while the heavy emotional parts seem long and drawn out. Overall, a pretty satisfying read with a happy ending.

2. The Mystery of the Superboy Shirts by Aviatricks

The thing is, Tim is a detective, first and foremost. And like most detectives, sometimes he just can’t let things go. (Or, how Tim acquires several hundred Superboy t-shirts)

Tim/Kon. 4,000 words. I’m sure this fic has been recced a thousand times in a thousand different lists, but there is no way I can leave it out. Good old fashioned fluff and humor. It’s light and happy and leaves you with a laugh at the end. If you’re in the mood for a oneshot full of smiles and core four fluff (and really, who isnt?) then this fic is a go-to!

3. Every Fiber of My Being by @lanestreets (I am so sorry if this is the wrong url. The one on ao3 didn’t work so I had to do some digging.)

As much as Dick and his siblings have argued, Bruce has never budged on his "Keeping Secrets Policy". There's not a person alive outside of the family that knows the secret identity of any of the Bats. Not even Dick's boyfriend. Dick understands the need for some secrets, knows that keeping their identities safe keeps them and their loved ones safe, but when he takes up the cowl, team dynamics aren't the only things that begin to change.

Birdflash. 21,000 words. This has got to be my most favourite birdflash fic of all time. Partly because it’s based off Dick and Wally from the comics (their personalities are particularly Titans-esque, but I’m not 100% sure) rather than from Young Justice. It’s mainly Dick-centered, showcasing his relationships with Wally but also with the rest of his family. If you’re not sure of what exactly happened with Bruce being lost in time and Dick becoming Batman, I would brush up on that first, because this fic won’t make much sense without it. It takes you on a whirlwind of feels, and the frantic, gradually quickening pace of the prose matches the plot of the fic, and I just - ah! I would definitely give this fic a read!

4. Declensions by @dustorange

“My father,” Dick says, “worked the rope. It cut him. His hands were never clean.”

Gen. 13,500 words. Dick-centric. This fic is absolutely gorgeous and it needs more love. The reason I think it’s so incredible is because it takes a deep dive into Dick’s Romani heritage which is something that I adore DC did but hate the way the executed it. But still, representation is representation, and when you have fics like these to show what Dick being Romani would actually reflect, it’s hard to complain. Beautifully written, and the overt racism and difficulty fitting in really hits home, even for someone who’s experienced it firsthand. A little bit of the prose is jumbled and hard to follow, but that may be an artistic choice reflecting Dick’s state of mind during the fic. Read this if you want to realize some things you’ve never thought of before.

5. Those Who Wait by @last01standing

The best way to socialize an angry assassin boy: Set up a playdate with someone functionally invulnerable. [Jon and Damian through the years. Reverse!Robins universe. Stands alone.]

Damijon. 11,000 words. I’m not usually a fan of reverse robins, but I liked this one because it focused on the way Damian and Jon’s relationship grew through the years. It also doesn’t just switch Damian and Dick’s names while keeping their personalities the same, or have Damian become a harsh, uncaring person who can barely be classified as an older brother, both of which I’ve seen in these types of fics and I hate. Damian’s character development is extremely well done and actually realistic, so kudos for that. Jon is written as an actual character with feelings and motivation, rather than a “smol little bean” whose entire personality is “uwu.” While it can be funny in incorrect quotes and humor, it doesn’t do well for depth, and I like how this fic explored Jon’s human side. All in all, an interesting read, almost to the point of a character study. Also the shipping stuff with the eventual happy ending is cute too.

6. In The Game by WithTheKeyIsKing

Everyone knows that if you want Don Bruce Wayne to hear you out, there are a few people you have to talk to first. (And frankly, his sons can be just as terrifying.)

Gen. 4,000 words. Part 1 of a series. Once again, I love this for the way the characters are explored. Each member of the family’s individual personalities are examined, then taken and twisted just slightly to the left, leaving you breathless reading a fic that actually seems 100% plausible. The second person in the first fic is a bit off-putting at first, until you reach the end and realize what the author was setting up for. While not a fic I like to read as an alternate way of imagining canon, this is a cool idea worth a visit.

7. Safe and Sound by @kingburu

Post-Endgame, Nightwing finds Kid Flash at Mount Justice.

Birdflash. 12,000 words. I have literally created a moodboard for this fic, that’s how much I loved it. Now, I’ll be the first person to say I’m not a fan of Young Justice. While it set up a good premise, the characters are introduced and gone too fast for us to actually care, and the show is just different enough from canon comics to seriously bother me. But, if there’s one thing I truly loved, it was Dick and Wally’s easy friendship in Season 1. It was like the ultimate best friends to lovers. However, apparently DC can’t ever let me or Wally be happy because Endgame happens and I die a little inside. This fic is a self indulgent little oneshot of Wally accidentally time travelling to the future, after he died, and coming to terms with the fact that he loves his best friend and he left him all alone. Heartbreakingly sad, this takes you on a journey through Wally’s emotional mindset. It does not have a happy ending, and leaves you feeling bittersweet in all the right ways.

All right, those are seven of the best DC fics there are, at least in my book. Once again, these are just general. If you want a specific pairing or fandom, just let me know. Ask and ye shall receive. Also, if you want to scream one of the fics from the list you read, or any other fic or headcanon, just message me. I’m literally always down to talk.

Hope you like the list, anon. Happy reading!

Hello there! This is more just a rambling thing from my brain, but how do you approach Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon’s relationship in your fics? I absolutely adore your writing; you capture those little warm and angsty moments between them that make my heart ache (in a good way).

<3 Thank you!!! And I love this question. Sorry for um....rambling!!!

So first of all, I make no bones about it, I’m a ship and let ship kind of person. I have no issues with anyone reading whatever they want into my stories, and I can’t remember, but I think I’ve got like, two or three QuiObi fics up? I honestly can’t remember. But that means that for me, I tend not to approach them by the relationship they share, but by the context for the way their characters relate to each other.

I feel like that’s probably skirting semantics, but I think that’s as close as I can get to explaining it.

Fundamentally, Obi-Wan defines his relationship with Qui-Gon by his desire to be wanted and Qui-Gon defines his relationship with Obi-Wan by his desire to make Obi-Wan into something.

Are those necessarily great, or selfless things? No.

Are those necessarily unhealthy? Also no.

Parents often want their children to be something. Be a doctor. Be a lawyer. Be a success. Be happy. Qui-Gon is a little old-fashioned in that he does think that Obi-Wan’s success is a measure of his own success, but equally tries to compensate for that by teaching in a very hands off kind of way.

This often leaves Obi-Wan a little aimless. He doesn’t seek to achieve anything except Qui-Gon’s approval, so they’re always kind of operating at cross-purposes.

If you were to shift this into a romantic context, for me it’d be about an older partner wanting to push his younger lover to pursue his dreams because “It worked for me,” but not quite understanding that support isn’t just emotional, but can be physical, economical, professional, etc.. And Obi-Wan would be someone who isn’t quite happy where he is in life, and is self-conscious, concerned that his partner might be embarrassed or ashamed of him for not being as “successful” as he ought.

Does that make sense? Like, fundamentally, their traits remain, but the context of the story alters the expression of their care for each other.

But no matter the context, I always approach their relationship from a position of complete compassion. 

I do not think Qui-Gon Jinn was a bad master. I think, essentially, he was a twice bereaved father, grieving.

I do not think his pairing with Obi-Wan was wrong. 

I don’t think either of them feel this way about each other.

I think that they are two people who desperately, desperately want to be with the other person (however you interpret that), but just never quite manage to comprehend each other.

Obi-Wan is far too self-deprecating, and Qui-Gon too self-absorbed. It’s really the perfect contrast of the Living vs. the Unifying Force. Qui-Gon doesn’t worry about consequences, he lives in the moment. Obi-Wan is always worried about the future, or the past - they both weigh heavily on him (the expectations for his future, the mistakes of his past), and neither of them really master the ability to see from the other’s perspective.

But they want to.

Because they love each other. So they try. 

And I think that - the fact that they live in contradiction to mantra “do or do not,” which is so fundamental to their understanding of ability - makes them really interesting to write. They are people constantly trying. And precisely because they try, it doesn’t matter if they do. The effort - the extending of compassion to one another - that is the key to them, imo.

It also makes for good conflict (all those delicious little angsty moments, which YES I LOVE AS MUCH AS YOU!!! Good stuff. So glad I can give you some of that content!), because the tragedy is not in whether they fail to do the thing (often times they succeed!), but in the cost of the effort, and the sacrifice of their own comfort in an effort to help the other person. 

Personally, my favourite Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan relationship is filial. I could read that all day, every day. I’ve said before that I would sacrifice the entirety of AO3 if it meant I had consistent, and exclusive, and bountiful Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan gen. Sorry, but...I just want Space Dad and Nervous Son adventures.

Dystopia Fics

I am a sucker for the end of the world. One of the first Destiel fics I ever read was set in the apocalypse, so thanks for hooking me, I guess! Anyway, here are some fics set during the end of days.

Stand By Me by whelvenwings on AO3. (31, 252 words).

Tags: Zombie Apocalypse AU, Post-Apocalypse, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Hurt/Comfort, Sharing a Bed, Slow Dancing, Masturbation, Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, First Kiss, Canon-Typical Violence, Touch-Starved Dean, Love Confessions.

My Rating: 5 stars

Description: Dean Winchester has been alone for a long, long time.When he and Castiel happen to find each other - a couple of survivors in a world that’s been all but wiped clean - Dean’s looking for his brother; Castiel is looking for something to look for. They stick together, because neither of them much wants to be alone. They hate each other at first, of course. Dean hates Castiel for being weird and quiet and ironic and antagonistic and proud. Castiel hates Dean for being blunt and reckless and coarse, for drinking, for refusing to talk about how he feels and just pretending everything is fine. Most of all, they hate themselves and each other just for being alive. What right do they have to be alive? No one else seems to be.But against his own will, Dean starts to notice things about Castiel that he likes. Starts to hope that Castiel might like him, too. And together, they start to fight for a world where they're both alive - and that's a good thing.

Notes: I think this was the second Destiel fic I ever read, and I must have reread it at least twice. The ending was slightly unsatisfying, but otherwise I loved it.

Say Yes by MaggieMaybe160 on AO3. (7,996 words).

Tags: Episode: s05e04 The End, Established Relationship, Secret Relationship, Cheating, Drug Use, Fluff and Angst, Canon Compliant, Nearly Human Castiel, Dreams vs Reality, POV Alternating, Love Triangles, Idiots in Love, Marriage Proposal, Chronic Pain.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: Endverse!Dean's life is going pretty well with Endverse!Cas until Dean's past self shows up.A look at the episode "The End" from Season 5 from Endverse!Dean's point of view.

Notes: I’m counting the Endverse as the apocalypse here, because technically it is, right? Anyway, it was a great episode, this is a great fic, and believe me when I say the ending gave me chills.

4545 by anyrei and mugglerock on AO3. (120,335 words).

Tags: Dystopia, Post-Apocalypse AU, Eventual Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Innocent Sam, Innocent Dean, Innocent Castiel, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, First Time, First Kiss, Minor Character Death, Past Tortutre, PTSD, Sam Winchester is in Love.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: Albert Einstein predicted that, while he didn’t know with what weapons World War III would be fought, World War IV would be fought with sticks and stones. He wasn’t far off.Humanity is surviving in a world without daylight, in a society where emotions are a luxury no one is allowed to have. But how important is surviving when you have nothing to live for? Two hunters find the answer to that question when they stumble over a miracle in the shape of a strange, blue-eyed man in a beige coat bearing… chocolate? Whatever that is.

Notes: This fic has such an interesting universe which is so well crafted and explored that it probably would have been one of my favourite fics, if it wasn’t for some of the most awkward explanations of sex and actual sex I have ever read in my life. Not sure if it is just because I’m ace, but I might need some mind bleach for some of that.

Road to Redemption by adestielable on AO3. (34,450 words).

Tags: Semi-graphic descriptions of violence, Semi-explicit sex, mutants, Utopia inside a Dystopia, Happy Ending, Character Death.

My Rating: 3 stars.

Description: Dean Winchester was taken by Knights, bounty hunters, when he was fifteen, and is the only person to escape Heaven. When a new rebellion rises and tries to recruit him, he wants to do anything in his power to decline. He made a promise to his father to protect his family, and letting them join a rebellion isn't protecting them.The leader of the rebellion makes it hard to keep his carefully and painfully crafted walls up, though. And Dean soon finds himself falling.

Notes: The author should definitely have more confidence in their work - it was quite good! They created a really interesting world, and even though I’ve read way more Destiel fics set in the apocalypse than I probably should, it still managed to surprise me, and I really enjoyed it. The only reason I gave it 3 stars was because I wish it was slightly longer, as the ending felt a bit rushed.

The Elysium High by EllenOfOz on AO3. (44,768 words).

Tags: Post-Apocalypse AU, Los Angeles, Dystopia AU, Angels are Dicks, Addict Sam Winchester, Drug Use, Recreational Drug Use, Witch Sam Winchester, Detective AU, Confused Castiel, Drugged Sex, Slow Burn, Cyborg Castiel, Nanotechnology.

My Rating: 3 stars.

Description: In the not-too-distant future, climate change has wreaked havoc on the city of Los Angeles. When sea levels rose, and the Los Angeles Basin began to flood regularly like many coastal areas around the world, the population of the city moved up, off the ground and into the scrapers.Many years later, the city is divided into three rough zones: the Topzone, where the very wealthy live in the sunlight; the Midzone, where those of the less-well-off population live amid the flying traffic, the smog and their coffee addictions; and the Groundzone, what's left at close to ground level—dim, grimy and occasionally very wet.Sam and Dean Winchester are drug investigators in the LAPD. During a bust, Dean is saved by Castiel, one of the mysterious Angels, the elite fighting unit of the LA City Council. When Castiel insists on taking Dean to Paradise because he says they have work for him, Dean has little choice but to go along.But when a new drug, “Elysium”, hits the scene, people all over the city start dying. The brothers and Castiel must work out where the drug is coming from and stop its spread before it's too late.

Notes: This fic reminds me of another I read which was basically the exact same but I cannot for the life of me remember what it was called. There wasn’t anything particularly wrong with it; personally I don’t ship Sam and Ruby (Jared and Gen are cute though) but I did enjoy the season 4 vibes.

Anyway, enjoy these fics (or don’t I guess) and if you have any fic recs of your own, please tell me!

Survey #409

“when everything is wrong, we move along”

Are you a good kisser? I mean there's no way for me to actually know, but I guess history suggests I'm not bad. What question do you hate being asked the most? "What does your tattoo mean?" I'm so self-conscious of my "strange" interests that I can't stand that question and I get SO awkward. I know, I know, "Then why did you even get it?" Reason being it makes me happy and I don't want my fears to win anyway. What do you think the hardest part of surviving is? Just that very thing: surviving. Getting through rough patches with your sanity and good health intact. Do you own any clothes you wouldn’t wear in front of your mother? No. Do you honestly hate anyone? Sometimes I think I still hate the girl Jason dated after me. It's entirely unjustified, and even knowing they're not together anymore (at least, to my knowledge), thinking of her just... makes me angry and jealous and just generally uncomfortable. I also sincerely hate someone who violated my best friend. What song did you hear last? I'm listening to a slowed down mash-up of "Circus" by Britney Spears and "Poker Face" by Lady Gaga. It's actually p dope man. Have you ever walked in on your friends having sex? YIKES no. Where do you find you take most of your naps? I nap in my bed. Do you like sleeping just wearing your underwear and a top? No. I had to do that once and I was SO uncomfortable. Are you named after a parent or grandparent? No. Who was the last person to ask you out? Girt. Do you have nice legs? No. Has a boyfriend’s brother ever hit on you? No. Do you have a nice butt? That's an even bigger "no." I have like, no ass lmao. What do you have a massive attraction towards? Some short Korean dude that is the literal avatar of "chaotic good" lmao. Have you ever made a sex tape? NOOOOOOO and I never will. How do you feel about your weight right now? I am immensely unhappy and just seriously depressed by it. Have your parents ever told you that you’re a disappointment? Oh my god, no. I would die. I feel like they think that, but they've never said or acted so. Do graveyards thrill or terrify you? They give me a feeling of peace, and I find them humbling as a tiny, mortal being that's only here for a flicker in time. They remind me to try and make use of that spark. What song’s your current favorite? I've really been digging "SAVIOR" by SWARM as of recently. Do you miss any of your exes? Yes. Did you ever take pottery class in high school? They didn't offer a course for specifically pottery; it was just included in Art. I made one or two things. Have you ever felt yourself fainting? A few times. Who’s the last boy to make you cry? Guess. His memory, anyway. Did he know that he made you cry? I honestly wonder what he'd think if he knew all these years later, I still have times where I cry over him. When’s the last time you felt like a total asshole? I don't really know. Has anyone ever threatened you? Yes. Would you ever own a rat? I've owned quite a lot. I LOVE rats, and a part of me wants another pair, but I'm just not a great owner of pets that require so much cleaning. Would you or do you ever spank your kids? NO. I will ALWAYS say this regarding this subject: you do not teach your children through fear, nor do you instill in them, deliberately or not, that it is okay to hit people when they upset you. Have you ever considered being a cop? Nope. What’s the longest amount of time you’ve ever kept a goldfish alive? Not long. Fish husbandry is more complicated than people make you think, so your ordinary fishbowl situation isn't going to work long. Have your parents ever questioned your virginity? My mother has. Dad has never said anything regarding this subject, thank god. That would be uncomfortable as shit. Have you ever spent over $100.00 on an article of clothing? What was it? Fuck no. Honestly, have you ever mooned or flashed somebody? No. Have you stayed up past 3 in the morning this week? Actually, yes. I pulled the first all-nighter in eons a few days back. What was on the last sandwich you had? Ham, cheese, and mustard. Do you own a trenchcoat? Bitch I wish. Name the hardiest piece of technology you own? Christ, my iPod that I've had since middle school. Seriously, a 4th gen. iPod Nano is still running, and I use it HEAVILY. I have no fucking clue how it's still alive. Tell me the last thing you searched on the internet? A definition just to make sure I was using it correctly. Are you currently in a smoking environment? Nooooo. Ma would never allow someone to smoke in here, and I honestly wouldn't either. Have you ever owned a tire swing? No. Have you ever taken care of a drunk friend? No. How about a hungover friend? No. What’s your opinion on people who go hunting for sport? You gross me out. (: Do you know anyone who can fluently speak more than two languages? No. Have you ever gone in a sauna? NOOOOOOOOOOOO. I would hate that SO much. What animal have you always wanted as a pet but couldn’t have? ALWAYS wanted? Probably a ferret. I don't actually want one now, but the idea is still nice to imagine. They're such characters. Is there any TV show that ended that you wish hadn’t? Ugggghhhh, Deadman Wonderland. It ended on SUCH a cliffhanger. I mean the manga continued, so I could've chosen to read that, but I don't read manga. Have you ever seen your parents drunk and what was your reaction? I saw my dad drunk all the time when I was younger because he was an alcoholic for as long as he lived with us. I knew he was either going to be hilarious or volatile and withdrawn. 50/50 chance. I've seen my mom drunk a couple times, and it was always surprising to me because she drinks very rarely. She's a very social and silly drunk, and it's a rare occasion where she seems happy. What’s your biggest body worry when you wear a bikini? Hunny, you would NOT see me in a bikini. Even if no one else was around, I wouldn't put one on. If you had the chance to redo high school knowing what you know now, how would you redo it? I think I probably wouldn't have dated Jason. Do you or anyone you know have an account on deviantART? I have for many, many years, and have friends that do, too. Do you get your eyebrows waxed? Not anymore. If you draw, what's one thing you always have trouble with? HANDS. Who was the first person you made out with, and where was it? Jason, in his bed. When was the last time someone said you were attractive? WOW, who the fuck even knows. Have you ever had to pretend you were sober, even though you were wasted? How did it turn out? No. Have you ever smoked at school? No. Have you ever thrown up from working out? No. Do you think machines will take over the world? I think it's a possibility. Technology keeps advancing faster and faster that I wouldn't be all that surprised if we design them to such an advanced state that they have some sort of sentience. Is the way you typically behave congruent with your ethnic background? What the ACTUAL fuck is this question. Literally fuck off. Have you ever lived in a brand new house? No. Has the last person you kissed met your father? Yes. What’s your favourite breed of dog? I have a strong bias for beagles. As far as visual appeal of breeds goes, I REALLY couldn't tell ya. There are so many beautiful dogs. Do you think more about the past, present or future? I'm pretty obsessed with the past. Do you swear in front of your parents? Dad, freely. Around Mom, I try not to say "fuck" or "goddamn" because she really doesn't like those. I still say some words, though. It's just pure habit. What’s something that’s bothering you? I've just been having envy problems lately, and it's not an emotion I'm used to or enjoy whatsoever. Have you ever been asked out by someone you didn’t want to date? Yeah. Did any particular thing brighten up your day today? Not really. Do you know who your latest ex is dating? Nobody. What are your plans for the weekend? My sister Katie and her husband are coming to visit, and we're probably driving up to a lake that Ash and her little family stay at all the time so Katie can meet the kids. But with that storm coming through, it's questionable if we'll actually go, because it's an hour drive. When were you last in a car? Earlier today to go to the TMS office. I officially start my tapering sessions, so I won't be going every day now. Have you cried today at all? No. Have you ever gone out in public in your pajamas? That is noooot rare, honestly. Depends on where I'm going. Have you ever had bronchitis? Nope. Think back to the last person you kissed, how many times have you cried in front of them? Twice, I wanna say? What do you want right this second? To actually have motivation to draw a picture I have planned. If you were offered to smoke some weed right now would you accept? No. If I weren't so opposed to smoking because of the lung damage I honestly would, though. I'm curious how it would affect my anxiety. Can you control your dreams if you realize you are dreaming? No. When was the last time you cried really hard? I'm really not sure. Do you think you can last for an hour without talking? Very, very easily. I probably do that on a daily basis. Do you know anyone else with your name? Yes, but spelled differently.