#but when i talk to her abt the other girl she tends to complain so im also just like ???? huh ?????? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bitchin-tubs · 3 months

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Complain time again tee hee but I’m just like UGHHHH talking genuinely to these ppl is SO hardddddd

With girl A, I spent almost a whole class lecture (friendly) debating with this one girl on why people medically diagnosed as psychopaths and sociopaths are not inherently dangerous, are not narcissistic by default and how ‘masking’ is not a form a manipulation. Her source for all of these… You. The Netflix show…

With girl B, I feel like she’s sooooo,,,, dismissive ?? Idk like I tried to introduce her to my friends once and she genuinely did not gaf. Like I said hi B this is C then she says hi to me and me only. Like my girl C is right here. But at the same time she’s always bringing me into her friend groups which is fine but I dont connect easily so most times I’m kinda just there SPECIALLY if it’s an all men group when I have specially told her I tend to be uncomfortable with men for “no” reason

I was having a conversation with girl A and the topic of autism was brought up, I told her that I think I may be low on the spectrum but there are some things I tend to relate to with autism behaviors, and considering opened up to me about her anxiety and how she had previously talked very openly abt diagnosis I thought maybe she’d get it. I know,,, self diagnosis (u are free to feel any type of way abt it) but idk I thought she’d have any type of nuanced comment about it but I should’ve known from the psychopath talk… I had told her that I find meeting new people very hard, I have difficulty talking to said people and I tend to be very restrictive about who I make a meaningful connection to. She said that my personality is and I quote “mamona” (jerk/snob/asshole ish) and completely dismissed my masking, overstimulation, 10 year old special interest, taking shit to literal and not understanding social cues or instructions as “just being different” yeah so I thought… yknow I might not have autism valid but idk I felt so ignored at that moment

Also don’t think I just unpack shit on her unannounced, we talk and convos play out as they usually do and since the topic was out I was like sometimes I wonder if I have it because of so and so plus she was unwinded with me before so it wasn’t impossible for us to talk abt personal stuff, even though we not so tight we are still close

Another thing I’m very bad at making friends, I think I mirror good enough to have nice interactions with people but not to the point they invite me to shit or talk to me outside of classes. Back when I was in my exchange program I was sharing a room with 3 swifties so I had to pretend to like Taylor swift so I wouldn’t feel singled out, I also watched the summer I turned pretty and witnessed these girls thirst over bad boy #2 when I thought the character was so shitty (the actor is good looking but I’m not attracted to him) and also would also unknowingly spend all-nighters on school nights (as in I didn’t know they were meant to be all-nighters) with them watching a movie I didn’t particularly like and see everyone thirsting over annoying man on screen (one of them was some straight outta wattpad step-sibling story ew, the other pride and prejudice IM SORRY YALL I DIDNT GET THE HYPE 😭 call me uncultured it’s okay

A and B are sólo also hardcore swifties and I can only be neutral abt her otherwise they get on my ass about it and saying I like Taylor swift or her music is too big of a lie even for me

I told girl A about this (or at least a bit) and she said that I should’ve just been me. Girl I can’t be me we were both witnessing a girl being actively bullied (tv show ass bullying they printed a picture of her and drew over it ugly, taped it to her dorm room. Still hurtful and bullying tho) I’m NOT about to ostracize myself

HOWEVERRR these are not my main friends, these are like the friends I made to not be lonely in these extra classes for an American 🦅🦅🦅 diploma. My close CLOSE friends are from my same career classes and they are so much more understanding and can interact more naturally with. So in my day to day I got good genuine friends by my side

I recognize that I can be perceiving these memories differently than how they actually happened, misinterpret their actions and just be in my feeling right now but idk I feel like I’m so difficult and constantly just have to comply with people in order to make others comfortable

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thatoneudguy · 7 months

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Ok so I'm just gonna do 1 final hc post abt the rest of the characters. Bc yea

Matthew Taylor

He likes sports but he does actually try to engage with his friend's hobbies- e.g going shopping with Em and Jess, and he's definitely sat and listened to Mike rant abt politics or sth before. Hannah's bugs made him get over any fear he had of insects.

He's very patient and friendly but when he gets mad he gets MAD. (we see that in game anyway tho tbh).

Ashley often helps him with homework.

He has ADHD.

He has a younger sister.

He has pet guinea pigs that he loves and Jess always jokes she only hangs out with him for them.

He's pansexual.

He's had a tiny little crush on Josh before.

He was decent friends with Mike before everything.

Even after him and Em break up he stays as a close friend of hers.

He's a bit of a pushover.

Michael Munroe (I'll be as nice to him as I can).

After UD he develops a fascination with wolves.

He's not actually as well-off as some of the other kids in the group, and he's sort of insecure about it which led to him putting up his whole confident guy charade which evolved into him being a massive dickhead.

His mother passed away when he was young and his Dad is an asshole. He spends most of his time out of his own house and his own bedroom is quite empty.

He scares quite easily and when he's alone he often ends up talking to himself just so there's a distraction.

When he's alone his whole persona comes crashing down. Part of why he fears isolation.

He has ADD, and he also has narcisstic traits.

He's also autistic but thats more me and my friend projecting when we write him lol.

He's pretty smart in the subjects he likes but he lacks common sense and does lots of dumb things.

He lived in Florida until he was 14.

He's demiromantic bisexual.

He needs to feel useful or he gets quite upset. This often ends up with him taking on the sort of 'leader' role in the group.

He tends to clash with Josh a lot, and Beth.

Christopher Hartley

He's not a massive fan of animals. He's either scared of them or complains about them being dirty/diseased.

He's trans.

He isn't into doing sports but he is surprisingly strong.

He's autistic.

He knows basically everything about technology and fuck all about anything else.

He did not pay attention in most of his subjects and then would end up going to Ashley for help and she'd scold him.

When he was young and first met Josh's sisters he was just. Amazed by the fact Hannah was allowed to be a girl.

He had a short-lived crush on Hannah as a kid. And it was mostly envy.

When he was a kid he had long hair, which he complained about until he got a 'compromise' with sort of medium hair length. When he was 15 he chopped it all off himself and has had it short ever since. (he was also in so much trouble).

He has quiet bpd. (this is sort of projection ignore me pls. I have my reasons I am not going to explain them here).

He's biromantic demisexual.

He's pretty much always had a massive crush on Josh that he barely realised.

He's generally just kind of a disaster bi.

He's very quick to get defensive and upset.

He tends to go way too far with pranks and the only people who can ever really reel him back in are Josh and Ashley.

#FINALLY DONE #until dawn #chris hartley #christopher hartley #mike munroe #michael munroe #matthew taylor #matt taylor #ud matt #ud chris #ud mike

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akaaesir · 2 years

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i love having a less known platform so i can talk abt shipping jeanluc in a very specific way without kids jumping me for it so i give you two scenarios. it's long, bear with me, i've got a lot of thoughts.

diluc and jean dated in their teens in both of them, things didn't work out but they still cared a lot about each other and assumed they were better as just friends. (+transmasc kaeya, trans woman lisa, and rosaria being surprisingly helpful)

diluc assumes they're gay for the longest time. they just never get the same feelings for women as guys do, but they do get some sort of feelings and assume that it's platonic. they just... never actually find their relationships with men working out. something goes wrong, they get icked by random things that don't even make sense to be icked by. it's not even the guy, he could be the perfect man for him, but he'll get to a certain point and just be uncomfortable, even just the thought of being someone's boyfriend gives them the ick. they just end up complaining to kaeya when they figure he's drunk enough to not get it. kaeya drops that it sounds a little like dysphoria. diluc initially denies it because they don't really care about their body, it's just a few phrases that make them uncomfortable. but something about the conversation sticks with them, and they keep thinking about it. kaeya asks a few days later if they'd like to try new pronouns/titles, and they pretend to have no idea what he's talking about. but it still stuck. rosaria's in the bar that night fixing her eyeliner, and on a whim, diluc asks if she'd mind trying something on them. and when she hands them the mirror... something just felt right. it wasn't heavy makeup, just some light eyeliner, but they look really pretty and actually enjoy looking rather than just tolerating their appearance. they get adelinde to help them out a bit more and experiment with gender, eventually figure out they aren't super comfortable with being addressed as a woman or presenting fully femininely either, but prefer that to being seen as a man all the time and don't mind she/her pronouns. they eventually come out to a few people close to them, jean included. they end up talking more - it's not weird for jean, lisa, and diluc to all show up together to girl's night (non-gendered - half the people at girl's night aren't even girls). but with this bit of self-discovery comes a new resurgence of feelings. diluc isn't exactly the lovey type, but he finds himself inviting jean to hang out sometimes, even if they just hang out in the same place for a while. it gets jean out of her office and work for a quick rest, and it gets diluc out of their head for a while. they realize that things didn't work out because they didn't know who they were yet. they always tied their identity to external things, and it's easy to lose yourself when you lose those. one night, they finally get up the nerve to test the waters and find out that jean has been considering similar things on her end. they end up giving it another try, and it doesn't even feel like things have changed, per se. they've just got a label on it now.

jean didn't really try to figure out their gender. it was actually a complete accident. men's clothing was often just more practical. he never saw a need to correct people who called him "sir" or thought he was a guy from a distance. they just... never really cared. and honestly, who did it hurt if kaeya sometimes came over to play dress-up and jean tended to go for more masculine looks? it was all just for fun, right?... until it wasn't. it was time for a banquet, and he was expected to be wearing a dress. but something about it didn't fit them right. not physically. he just looked... wrong in the mirror. and of course, lisa came in with kaeya to see what was wrong. jean looked great, what was wrong? a few more outfits had the same issue - he looked fine, the dresses were quite lovely and some of their favourites, but the thought of being in them for hours and being expected to just... perform being a woman just felt wrong. lisa looked a bit confused and asked offhandedly if jean felt like being a woman was a performance. but that's how everyone felt about gender, right?... apparently not, lisa really did feel like a woman deep down. but of course lisa would, after the work she went through to transition. kaeya mentions that's how he felt about gender before he figured out the nuances, and while gender does still feel more like a performance to him, he just feels like kaeya. he explains that especially before, he always saw it more as pretending to be a woman or pretending to be a man. it's easier for people to see him as a guy, and he far prefers that to his other options. otherwise, people ask too many questions he can only answer in abstract concepts. and something about that resonates with jean. they don't push it immediately, but do decide to try on a blazer, and that odd feeling is gone. the banquet is fun, and he catches diluc staring more than once. and lisa and kaeya help him figure things out. this wasn't meant to bring them closer to diluc, but they end up hanging out more regardless. after dropping off kaeya one night because "he's too drunk to be left alone, and i can't find rosaria or the alchemist," he ends up inviting diluc in. they talk a while. then they talk more. mid-conversation one day, diluc drops that he thinks he likes jean. jean doesn't process it for a few seconds, continuing to ponder what food to order from good hunter, but when it sets in, he isn't opposed. they do both care for each other, after all, never hurts to give it another try.

mix and matchable as well i just think theyre cute scenarios

#genshin impact #jeanluc #jean gunnhildr #diluc ragnvindr #trans diluc #trans jean #screams into the void bc i love these dorks #ive heard that they act like they dated in middle school and they really do but hear me out

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chryzuree · 10 months

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if chrysijacks were a cat breed which breed would they be… what is their favorite thing to do together… what is the reason behind the majority of their disagreements and what do they do after arguments to get back into the groove of things… and um. anything that’s currently on your mind abt them hehe <3

chrysi’s an egyptian mau !!!!!

((the favorite she chooses is azure… jackscat sniffling and sobbing behind her as she purrs and curls up in azure’s lap :)))

i dunno why, but i keep thinking siamese cat for jacks…. although!! an oriental shorthair would also be funney!!

like, jacks WOULD make an excellent family pet, but also

funky looking bastard. and he WOULD complain until he gets the attention he rightfully deserves!!!!!

hands down, their favorite thing to do together is kiss…….. can’t take the prince of hearts out of jacks once you’ve put it there, chrysi….. you cursed him w Obsessively Thinking About Kissing You Disorder and it’s incurable. fortunately, he’s studied sooooo hard to be good at it & he’s even killed a couple ppl for it too!!! 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

before they get together, lots of their arguments stem frm relationship miscommunication??? in the sense that jacks desperately wants chrysi, but he keeps deflecting his true emotions onto other girls & flirting with them/dating them in an attempt to make chrysi jealous. and yet, he’ll also be trying to push chrysi towards other men (castor….. 😒), and then get mad that she gets mad at him. it’s that whole “childhood friends that want each other carnally but don’t want to take responsibility for their feelings/ruin the friendship” argument stock. you know what i mean???

a huge part of their arguments while they’re on the same page abt their relationship tends to be that chrysi’s too selfless (to the point of it being unhealthy), and jacks is waaaaay too selfish (also extremely unhealthy). they both clash over various situations where chrysi wants to abandon everything to help random citizen no.79 and jacks wants chrysi to stop leaving him & to hold his hand 24/7.

after their arguments, they both make it up to each other by very quietly moving closer to each other. it’s almost like red light, green light (or ghost in the graveyard 😌) where they refuse to move if the other person is looking at them… but it ends w them sitting side by side, holding hands and curling up together.. then they end up talking abt it and obviously kissing abt it. it’s very funny for emery to watch. it’s like watching two cats trying to pounce on each other, but a good version of that 🖤

i’ve been rlly rlly thinking hard abt the “two childhood friends that knew EVERYTHING about each other to these estranged fruends that are haunted by the ghost of this person that has visibly changed since then” angle SOOOO hard. but also how.. even though jacks and chrysi don’t know anything abt the person that the other had become, they also still know everything abt them… for example, i’ve been playing around w an evil dead rise au (i know.. sounds silly… but still!!!!) where chrysi and jacks finally reunite after ages + they’re at each other’s throats the whole time.. until, you know, the horrors. and as soon as those start, it’s so funny how they abandon all their hurts to make sure the other gets out safe.. jacks automatically reaching for chrysi’s hand when a demon possesses missy…. chrysi throwing her arms around him when she manages to get him out of harm’s way…… both of them very gently cupping each other’s face after sending the marauder into a woodchipper + they’re both covered head to toe in blood (partially frm the bloody elevator.. yk how it is!!)…. like they still know each other so well and now they’re willing to admit they love each other!!!

#.asks #s.chrysijacks #m.kat🫶🏻#SOBBING… they’re jst so. they’re soooo. they are so 🖤🖤🖤

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celamoon · 1 year

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uhhh oc rambles pt idk

yay more ramblings hehe

Mizuki smells like candied lemons - sweet citrus mm

tea girl - fruit tea girl - keeps a whole jug of fruit tea in the kitchen fridge

loves making charcuterie boards

and pinterest boards

and spotify playlists

I said that before didn't I sorry

has an ED. Still has one. Doesn't like eating and counts her calories

she peels fruit for Kamukura during the short while that he was captured in exchange for shit he steals her

she kind of employs him? as a thief? idk he steals her shit because well to be fair she kinda created him

she has a polaroid camera and has a photo of every single one of her friends in her apartment

travel girlie!! retires early bc she hates people and travels the world

in a nondespair au she works well with Junko the two talk a lot and Mizuki actually finds out a lot of traumatic shit abt Junko through casual conversation

they would be besties methinks

In an au where Matsuda’s alive their relationship is definitely a lot more healthy when they’re in the ff

They work in the same department n end up in charge after dr3 n somehow both survive

Traumatized but nothing’s scarier than Kamukura standing at ur doorway at 3am about to explain that Junko made him go out again and he accidentally kickstarted an apocalypse LMAO

they’re besties btw

Matsuda n Mizuki argue a lot but solve it just as fast

Idk whatever works for them ig

They do have exchanged hands tho n Mizuki doesn’t rlly ask for a wedding so they’re kinda just unofficially married

Matching rings n matching hands

Per Perci’s words “I’m carrying your love with me”

They match clothes to the best of their ability

Mizuki paints her own nails on the hand that Matsuda has

She does skincare nights with him

Matsuda does more shit behind Mizuki’s back than in front of her

She complains abt him not doing enough knowing damn well he takes care of everything she doesn’t

He tends to cut back on cursing her out when she’s stressed tho

Way off topic but her bi awakening was Ryoko

Ok back on track

Mizuki attends like a zillion weddings at the ff but never brings up having one of her own bc when she joined the future foundation everyone kinda assumed that she was alr married u know with the exchanged hands n rings n all

Matsuda feels bad for not hosting a wedding for her but she’s fine she doesn’t care

No kids still but Mizuki let’s the others’ kids hang around her office

I'm going back to bed gn

#☾.ocs

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checkers-dance · 2 years

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i honestly dont understand nctzens. like im so familiar with nct's music and the general tropes you hear on their music so i think i have a good idea of the things they do well and what they dont. but then i see nctzens talk about it and im like. are we listening to the same group?

like i was watching this review some girl made abt 2 baddies and she said a couple of things that made no sense to me. she said she didnt like the song, which is fine and understandable, but her reasoning was so strange to me and it just made me realize nctzens live in another reality. she talked abt how the rap felt really weak for her and i'd agree if not for the fact that nct dont have particularly strong raps to begin with? ive never been the biggest fan of their delivery, although i dont hate it, i just think the rappers are way more likely to sound weird than the vocalists. so to me it was weird to hear her complain abt how the song was practically carried by the singers when like... i feel like thats a lot of nct songs kwjwbdbdbd

and then she pointed out some of the silly lyrics and im like???? THIS IS NCT??? BLESS ME ACHOO? IF YOU'RE HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT CLAP YOUR HANDS??? I BE WALKING WITH THE CHEESE THATS THE QUESO?? IM THE STICKER FOR YOUR LOVE???

and when nctzens talk about how unique nct is i always roll my eyes a bit bc like. nct does sound distinct, but heres my conspiracy theory. the reason nct sounds so unique is because they take styles and concepts that other groups also do but they refuse to polish them. like thats what a lot of nct's music sounds to me, electronic music that just isnt very well put together. their stuff often sounds like it needed some more reworks.

and mind you, i think sometimes they pull this off. by making songs that sounds so messy you can end up with things that are actually really cool to listen to. i think wayv is the subunit that executes it the best. like how in turn back time they use a clock noise throughout the song. thats a way to use ear catching electronic noises in a cool and creative way. but a lot of the time it feels to me like sounds put together without thought behind it and its like. alright.

i guess my point is that nct's distinct qualites are often a result of what feels like not much effort. you can make stuff that is distinct and harsh sounding without hurting my ears with a fucking flute. so thats why nct doesnt feel that interesting to me because it just feels like its a step behind the groups making genuinely fun music. like sure i guess its unique but at what cost?

HGKSKFKSKGKSJ it's unique but at what cost. There are some silly lyrics in other groups too (I'm looking at changkyun and his many iconic self-written lines), but nct truly has such consistently wacky lyrics it's a group staple at this point (Idk abt wayv tho, they seem like the one subunit w regular lyrics). I like some of their raps (and also the jopping rap sounds fine, and iirc lucas from nct has those lines), but yeah generally the rap parts are the most eh in nct songs (I think it also has to do w the instrumental attached to them. Like those parts just tend to have the most likelihood of being bad)

I love how u've become an nct analyst, thank u for the meta

#asks

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starglow-xx · 3 years

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hello! may i request headcanons for chuuya having a crush on someone who's dense? like he could ask them out in the most straightforward way possible and it would still go over their head?

yes, yes of course you may!

sorry this took so long! my computer was out of commission for abt a week (or two..??)

but this is also my birthday writing piece for chuuya!! (4/29/21) i even added a small drabble thingy in addition to the hcs for the occasion hehe

from where i am, it is about fifteen minutes past midnight so it’s officially chuuya day here!!

happy birthday chuuya i love you! you deserve the whole world and everyone is willing to fight tooth and nail to ensure your happiness! we love you! 💗💗

anyways, i hope you all enjoy this! i kinda had some writer’s block but it was still a lot of fun to write! there might be some mistakes, but i’ll scan over it again later. reader is gender neutral! have fun!

chuuya having a crush on a dense! reader

nakahara chuuya x gn! reader

im cackling somebody help him

he’s frustrated bc you can’t take a hint or a thousand but he can’t even be mad bc he’s whipped

“look at you all dressed up today, wanna go out later? my treat?”

“oh really? thanks chuuya-san! you’re such a nice friend. i’ll go invite the others right now, i’ll see you later!”

“...”

fast forward to later in the evening and he finds himself at a little restaurant with the black lizard + higuchi and akutagawa

sigh

in unison all of them go, “thank you for the meal chuuya-san!” (except aku and hirotsu are quieter & and gin just a nods hehe)

“no problem” (ꐦ ´͈ ᗨ `͈ )

gin only pats him on the back in sympathy

he spends a lot of time trying to think of ways to make it absolutely and undeniably clear that he has feelings for you

he always fails

“(y/n) i like you”

“i like you too chuuya-san”

“really?”

“mhm”

“t-then will you—”

“you’re a really great friend! and superior too”

“...nevermind”

“oh were you saying something?”

“nah, just forget about it”

tachihara is laughing in the corner of the corridor

dont worry, chuuya made sure to get back at him

chuuya’s been pinning after you for years and frankly, his failed attempts to woo you has lead everyone to the breaking point

and i mean everyone

yes, even aku

hell even dazai

but dazai also thinks it’s funny, so he doesn’t mind all that much

okay bye bye dazai-san this headcanon set isn’t abt you rn

PLEASE EVERYONE FEELS SO BAD FOR HIM

they knew even if he kissed you, you still might not get it

so they decided to help him

super secret mission get chuuya and (y/n) together is a go!

they’re still working on a proper mission name, don’t mind them

they had a super secret strategy meeting!

you can bet your ass that they nearly got nothing done

akutagawa & kaiji weren’t much help, neither was higuchi, mori, or elise

tachihara nearly got killed for a thoughtless comment

“just tell them chuuya-san!”

“i already fucking did you ass!”

gin, hirotsu, and kouyou were the most helpful !!

hirotsu and kouyou both agreed on the idea that chuuya should try courting with bouquets of flowers instead of flat out asking you bc they knew you found them pretty

(even if you don’t identify as a female, flowers are for everyone no matter gender or sexuality! so let’s normalize giving flowers to everyone <33 )

gin didn’t speak but she used cards to communicate

everyone knew that you weren’t stupid (you wouldn’t have survived in the mafia if you were) but they did know that you were only stupid when it came to all this lovey dovey stuff

i mean, if chuuya gave you flowers every so often, there’s no way that you wouldn’t piece it together at some point

right...??

but kouyou assured him that even though you wouldn’t get it right away, you’d appreciate the gestures and that he’ll stand out more

she even said that if someone gave her flowers, she would appreciate it, whether or not she reciprocated their feelings

it takes guts to be so up front with your feelings after all

gin and hirotsu only nodded with her explanation

once again, this only provoked a reaction out of tachihara

“what do you know gin? i get the old man and kouyou-san, they’re grown, but you? what do you know abt courting? or flowers? what are you a girl?”

akutagawa choked on his cough, higuchi on air, and on the other side of yokohoma at the ada, dazai is cackling

yes, dazai somehow placed a listening device onto chuuya’s hat and was listening in

don’t ask how, it’s dazai

“DAZAI GET YOUR BANDAGED ASS OFF THE COUCH AND STOP LAUGHING”

anyways

the next day, chuuya did what was barely discussed and for once, things actually started to look up

until they started look to down again

at first, it actually looked like you understood his intentions after he gave you a bouquet of flowers

literally everyone was leaning against the opposite hallway you two were in and then they got excited !!

especially chuuya !

but then your expression sort of changed...??

and then in their heads they simultaneously went, “oh no”

they knew that expression

it was very familiar when you tended to friend zone chuuya

but boy let me tell you what you said next made them facepalm and or make their jaws drop

“ah, so you really are friend zoning me huh chuuya-san; what a shame, i really did like you”

LEMME TELL YOU WHEN I SAY THAT CHUUYA WAS DISTRESSED I MEAN HE WAS DISTRESSED

you liked him??

him of all people??

he wasn’t complaining, no of course not, but he still couldn’t believe it

but that wasn’t what he was really focusing on right now

what in any form or language did it say he was friend zoning you?!

flower language apparently

chuuya chose to buy the bouquet of yellow roses, pink carnations, and yellow carnations bc he thought you would appreciate the brighter colors, and so that you’d remember them better (because remembering them, meant remembering him)

but ooh boy

altogether, they meant the exact opposite message he wanted to send

someone help him pls

“you see chuuya-san, yellow roses mean friendship, pink carnations mean gratitude, and yellow carnations mean rejection; sooo in a nutshell, these pretty much say ‘thank you for being my friend, but im rejecting you”

no one can tell if tachihara is crying or wheezing

and dazai is having the time of his life

yes, he started listening in on him again

and chuuya is just stunned

like speechless and unmoving stunned

is he just bad at this whole courting/dating thing?? it’s only been one day and of it and somehow he was the one doing the rejecting??

“thank you for the flowers chuuya-san, i’ll be going now; i’ll make sure to let this affect our friendship. i’ll see you tomorrow!”

you passed by the not so subtle group of people

“tachihara-kun..?? are you alright?”

just for context, he was leaning his forehead against the wall using his forearm

again, it was hard to tell whether he was crying or wheezing

“i-im okay (y/n)-san...i think c-chuuya-san has it worse than me”

“...okay..?”

BACK TO CHUUYA

he’s still frozen poor baby

but it’s okay bc after like 5 more seconds he’s chasing you down the hallway you were walking in

kouyou, with a knowing smile on her face, ushers everyone away towards the opposite direction

she received some whines (ahem, tachihara and mori) but silenced them by summoning golden demon

but it’s okay

if they run fast enough, they can see what happens through the security cameras

chuuya caught up with you and tried to explain everything but he was exhausted

emotionally, physically (bc since when did you walk that fast??), and generally just tired with the whole situation

he just wanted to call you his; was that too much to ask??

as explosive as he can be, he can be calm and collected too

and he really did try to be that way as he talked with you but it was very difficult at the moment

the dumbfounded and confused look on your face his face twitch with annoyance and his heart started beating faster bc god you were cute

BUT THATS BESIDES THE POINT RIGHT NOW

thank goodness after what seemed like years, you finally somewhat understood what happened

you didn’t understand completely but it was something

The two of you stood in the middle of the unusually empty hallway facing each other, you with the bouquet still in hand. It was quiet as you and Chuuya assessed the situation.

You looked at him skeptically and he stared right back you with his gorgeous blue eyes.

“...So you do like me Chuuya-san??”

“Yes”

“And you were trying to court me just now, not friend zone me??”

“Yes”

You got most of your questions out of the way, but there was something that you’ve been wondering about for quite a while.

“...So you’re not gay for Dazai-san??”

“Yes, im not wait—GAY FOR DAZAI?? THAT MACKEREL??”

Chuuya did a double take. What in heavens name made it seem like he liked that suicidal maniac?? Why would he choose him if he had you?

Like he would choose him anyways; or ever consider him as a possible romantic partner.

“Oh, so you are?”

“NO! I SAID I LIKED YOU DIDN’T I?”

“Well yeah, but I thought you liked Dazai-san too. As annoying as he is, he can be quite charming—”

He was out of patience at this point (nope definitely not because you were talking about Dazai who told you that?) and just decided to kiss you.

You immediately melted into the kiss and kissed him back with the same amount of love and feeling.

Letting the bouquet fall to the ground, you wrapped you arms around his neck and his put his on your lower back and brought you closer to him. After a few more moments, the two of you broke apart for air.

The two of you, slightly out of breath, leaned your foreheads against each other and just basked in each others presence.

Chuuya looked into your (e/c) eyes and asked you just a little bit above a whisper, “Now do you get my intentions and feeling?”

You blinked at him before breaking out into a grin, “Hmm I’m not sure; do you wanna do that again Chuuya?”

The red head only blinked back at you before rolling his eyes, a smile present on his handsome features, his heart fluttering at you using his name with the honorific.

“Dumbass”

Smiling cheekily at him, you pressed a kiss on his cheek and started dragging him towards the lobby to take a walk around the building perimeter, knowing that the two of you can’t be too far from work.

The way down to the lobby was mostly in comfortable silence until you said something that made Chuuya want to bash his head against the wall.

“You know, you could’ve just told me you liked me Chuuya. It’s not like I would’ve said no.”

Once again, as the rest of the more power mafia members watch from security cameras, it is hard to tell whether Tachihara is crying or wheezing of laughter.

omake !!

The two of you just started making your way around the building when suddenly a very familiar voice came from Chuuya’s prized hat.

“Chuuyaaaa!! It was about time you stopped being a chicken, Chibi!”

Removing his hat from his head, he started yelling at it not knowing exactly where the listening device was planted.

“TEME! HOW DID YOU—”

“And (y/n)! I would congratulate you, but I think I would rather offer you my condolences. Why him?! He’s just a slimy slug. OOH OOH how would you like to join me in a double suicide?! A shame it won’t be a lover’s suicide but it’ll annoy Chuuya so I think it’ll be worth it! ”

“YOU—”

“And please don’t kiss while I’m listening in. You made me lose my appetite! And it was such a shame! I was eating crab using Kunikida-kun’s money! Do you know what you’ve cost me?!”

“DAZAI YOU PIECE OF—”

“Ah! Kunikida-kun is here! I have to go!”

You can hear something is the background that vaguely sounds like, “DAZAI YOU WASTE OF BANDAGES STOP USING MY MONEY”

“DAZAI DON’T YOU DARE LEAVE IM NOT DONE WITH—”

*Click!*

The click sound from the hat revealed that Dazai disconnected.

Chuuya twitched and glared furiously at his signature hat hating that the voice he hated the most came out of it.

“Aww, I didn’t get to talk to Dazai-san”

Chuuya whipped his head towards you, a look of mock (or real) betrayal showing on his features.

You laughed at him before taking the hat out of his hands and placing it on his head.

He shyly looked away before muttering a thanks making you smile wider. Just as the two of you were about to start walking, a small explosion erupted from his hat; it was likely that Dazai made the listening device self destruct.

“DAZAI YOU BASTARDD”

At the Armed Detective Agency, a certain suicidal maniac hid from the wrath of his current partner as he thought about the wrath his old one.

“Hmmm I wonder if Chuuya would finally stop wearing his ugly hats if I blow all of them up...”

as always, reblogs and shares are appreciated! i hope you all stay safe! and just in case nobody told you they loved you today, i love you! you are enough! <3

writing belongs to me! please do not plagiarize! the reblog button is there for a reason

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papers4me · 3 years

Text

Fruits Basket,Se03, Ep 8 (part 2)

I finally got my answer on how will kyo’s confession of kyoko will be & how tohru will react. I love the writing, the pacing, the monologue, the dialogue, the facial expressions, tohru’s reaction, kyo’s rejection & tohru’s shock. Even yuki & akito’s involvement! All of it was a chef’s kiss!

I went & watched lots of eps of se01 & 2 & I’m loving all the hints they dropped abt kyo & how his trauma was looming over him all. this. damn. time! Unfortunately, it has reminded me of how much tohru’s own character exploration was diminished in favor of her being the angelic mother & the sohma’s fixer! but moving on & focusing on her shining moment now! I’ll explore her character here with regards of her trauma, real hidden character & future development.

Kyo’s rejection is the best thing that has ever happened to tohru:

(don’t hate me before you read!) XD~ just like you, I’m mad at kyo for hurting tohru & I feel her pain. However, the writer didn’t write this with a sadistic desire to hurt us. Kyo’s rejection is the core of the entire story as it is not only connected to kyo’s trauma, but tohru’s growth & yuki’s emotional involvement with the two, as well as akito’s insecurities. I have explained in my review( part 1) how kyo rejecting tohru was a logical progression of kyo’s trauma, the only possible outcome from his perspective, & the themes tied with such decision. Now, I’ll explain why this rejection is good for tohru in the long run:

1. Showing the hidden ugly side: (The timid, shy, self-sacrificing girl is angry!): Tohru’s entire consciously constructed personality is borrowed from elements in her mom & dad’s life:

She mimicked her dad’s overly polite style to prove that she is indeed his daughter, so her mom won’t be called w*ore & to console her mom, so she wont leave her. She has deep low self-worth issues. I gotta become someone else to be loved.

she has inner fear of bringing shame to her mom’s name, wants to always be the good girl so mom’s get praised for raising her. Thus, hiding ugly aspects such as anger, loud voice & frustration.

She wants to prove that her mom chose right by not neglecting her. wishes to be worth needing & loving for her own self.

All she ever wanted since being a 4 year old child is her mom. No other desire for anything else at all. Since her mom’s death, she’s been lost on what to do, who to be, what to want! then it came to her to stick to her mom’s memory & live for her. Living for a dead person is a self-sacrifice decision. Tohru just didn’t see herself outside of her mom’s influence.

Ever since meeting kyo, he has been encouraging real aspects of her character: be selfish, complain, cry, get mad, yell, look pathetic, expose unflattering thoughts, show undesirable side, ask for things, no, DEMAND things. She has been reluctantly following his advice & only showing that to him. His confession & inability to accept her love has lead her to show the real hidden tohru behind the “ i’m okay” mask:

The timid, always smiling girl is now showing anger, frustration, stubbornness & determination.

screaming her heart out: “ i don’t believe my mom would say that” stating her opinion in firm voice.

“even if she did, I have to go against her” the real tohru shows her explosive personality that was buried deep down! it is NOT mom’s life anymore. It is MINE. I decide. I choose. I want. My decisions.

“ why can’t you see that?” argues with him. Tohru, who is soft-spoken & tends to get flustered when others insist, is now questioning his decision with passion & fierceness!

“ I love you no matter what”. Say what toy want. look at yourself as a monster, a murderer, a loser or a coward. I don’t care what your brain or trauma makes you think. I see the real YOU & it is my decision! I love you ugly & pretty, sad & happy, broken or strong, coward or brave. I take it all & no one is fooling me or changing my mind. I’m my own person & I chose YOU.

2. Letting go of attachments: Learning to LIVE:

Tohru’s attachment to her mom isn’t healthy. It’s toxic as it hinders her from being her own person. To be able to love kyo, she lets go of “ listening to mommy’s words” . Apparently, her mom condemned kyo as unforgivable. Tohru knows the real kyo & doesn’t even care for forgiveness despite her mom’s alleged words. Breaking the toxic bond. She formed a healthier bond with kyo. However, if kyo is unable to accept this love. what would tohru do? die?? kill herself?? kyoko wasn't able to continue to love her husband cuz he died. her reaction was neglecting her daughter & roaming away in utter grief. Tohru mustn’t follow her mom’s example. Not all loved ones leave us out of hate. Some leave each other cuz of death (kyoko/tohru), ( kyoko/ katsuya), Others might leave each other out of current traumatic pain, mental health, emotional hindrance despite loving each other so dearly (kyo/tohru). If kyo despite his immense love to tohru, can’t forgive himself, they won’t be together. tohru can cry, scream, yell, but if he doesn't overcome his issues & come back, tohru gotta let go. She gotta learn to let go & not kill herself over what she cant have.

Kyo, on the opposite, gotta learn to hold on to loved ones! Let go of pain but hold on to real ppl not dead ghosts of the past. He must learn to act on his own desire & need for tohru. Only when he forgives himself, he’ll hold on to her. It is then, that tohru will decide again if she’ll have him or not.

3- Wanting things doesn't mean you WILL have them: (You are enough by yourself- moderation)

tohru wants kyo, the first thing she has ever wanted. However, she won’t automatically get him just because she now learned to demand things. There are obstacles that can stop that. Tohru must accept kyo’s inability to be with her now & live healthily regardless. This ties to akito as well. She wants the zodicas but she cant have them! Emotional distance separate them. What will akito do if she can’t have what she wants? kill kurno? kill tohtru? kill herself? will this bring the zodiacs back? NO. You are enough by yourself. She needs to let go & learn to accept that love means acceptance between the involved parties, emotional connection isn't enough.

-Realistic depiction of romantic relationship progression: (thro better & worse). EPIC writing!

It is indeed fate that brought tohru back in kyo’s path 4 months after her mom’s death & the they do share a mutual past: kyoko. However, fervor grateful to the author for writing them falling in love together isn’t due to fate, coincidence, mutual past or similar personalities. Kyo consciously avoided tohru while tohru herself struggled to understand kyo initially. The author spend valuable time building their romantic relation based on mundane daily life activities. They themselves don’t quite know when exactly that they fell in love. when they recalled falling in love, we see them cooking together, talking, walking, eating, studying & opening up abt small struggles.

It is genius that the writer will add yet another realistic aspect. While kyo was able to read tohru & approach her when she’s down, this doesn't mean he magically understood her & will forever be on the same page & never ever hurt each other at all. If you fell in love, you are bound to be hurt by the person who loves you back as much as be happy together. It is realistic!!! Adding miscommunication & personality differences enrich the relationship. This relationship isn’t just fluffy & lovey dovey. They have realistic issues that they need to work on by communicating. Even communication wont solve their quarrel if it isn’t done in the right time & with the right desire to connect.

-The weight & future lessons learned from of “ I’m disappointed in you” for both kyo & tohru:

Right now kyo is too emotional to connect & tohru herself is too emotional to understand his response. Tohru understands his pain but her low self-esteem prevents her from seeing that he is rejecting being loved , not rejecting her. He is not rejecting tohru as a person but rejecting kyo as a person deserving love. Thanks to his “ i’m disappointed in you” which really leaves no room for interpretation from tohru’s perspective. I love that!!!! Kyo isn’t good with words. This has been clear from ep 1, his actions has always been his love language, but now he couples bad words “ i’m disappointed in you” with bad actions: running away. This is a perfect opportunity to build their future relationship on a solid foundation: ( off course I’m not belittling their current emotions, I understand why each is very broken now, but I’m talking abt future learning lessons)

Kyo’s current mistake: While him rejecting tohru is justified by the extreme trauma & is logical from his perspective. This doesn’t mean it isnt’t hurtful to her. He chose hurtful words to push her away mimicking how he pushed her in the true form arc. Perfect example of justified mistake yet still a wrong mistake. Thus, kyo needs to learn the effect of his words, he shouldn’t be punished for the past, for tings her cant control, nor for fate. But he should take responsibilities of the present, of what he actually says & does right now. He must fix this mistake with tohru. This is a mistake that CAN be fixed. someone that he CAN get back. a mistake he CAN stop repeating.He CAN hold on to her with immense desire yet allow room for her to decide for herself.

Tohru’s current mistake: Seeing herself solely thro being loved by kyo. she cant see that he indeed loves her cuz he rejected her. Rejection in tohru’s mind equal lack of love. Her mom left her, thus her mom didnt love her. This respective is very justified due to her trauma, & it is logical that she reached this conclusion. She isnt in his head, she cant know whats in his heart if his words say sth else. However, having a logical perspective doesn't mean it is right. it is still wrong to solely exist thro what you can see & hear. Real emotions run deeper. We must take things with moderate approach. Tohru needs to have higher self-esteem, to allow room for misunderstanding without completely breaking down. In her future life, she’ll be in lots of situations where ppl could hurt her intentionally or unintentionally. She needs to take things with calmer pace & open the door in her mind for doubt & better judgement. As much as loved ones words hurt, to build a healthy relationship, you must leave room for communication & misunderstanding. Hence, you’ll get closer & closer.

Side Notes:

I love tohru’s faulty attachment thro only being loved back exactly as she pictures in her mind. it is so human, so real, & so endearing! Very opposite of se01 & 2 image of her being the wise, device-giving mother with right thing to say & do. Screw that unrealistic image! allow tohru to be real! best ep ever! Hopefully, no more of this tohru!

Kyo’s constant repeat of mistakes is the best character trope done right! so realistic. It is genius that the author used this trope to humanize the demonic cat spirit!! what screams human better than the most annoying human trait: repeating mistakes!!!! Kyo, my son! it’s time to learn! cant wait to see how the author will do that.

young boy/ adult woman friendship? Was that ever made without disgusting sexualizion? kyoko isnt much of a mom figure to kyo, she tells me abt a husband, child neglect mistakes, custody! he calls her old hag & pushes her! XD. it is friendship!!

i’m mad they didnt focus on tohru’s face when she screamed at kyo confessing her love.. that's tohru moment. Why pan on yuki? you could’ve showed his reaction after she spoke. The same thing was done when tohru confessed to Isuzu!-_-! loved her angry face tho, it was beautifully drawn, so thanks for that. XD

Yuki is forever the best tohru/kyo shipper & the best tohru-happiness defender. I love how he runs after kyo & yet checks on tohru! I’m curious tho, he didnt hear any of kyo/kyoko confession as he was asleep, only the the “ forgive/not forgive line” so, he’ll be wondering forgive what? tohru’s mom knows kyo? I’m excited on how they’ll put things into context. also, I LOVE YUKI.

I’m forever thankful that everything akito is pushed into next ep. The knife wielding action & akito’s dramatic outbursts would’ve stolen from the emotional weight of kyo’s confession. Kyo’s secret is the core of furuba since ep, 1, the entire dynamics of kyo/tohru/yuki /kyoko/ hat is established based on this ep. Shoving akito, too, would create the same annoying train bullet feeling of momiji’s & tohru’s ep (ep 5 & 6). Emotional scenes pushed together with lesser time for the respective characters to have their well-deserved focus.

This is the most I am attached & satisfied with furuba! it scares me since ep 9 continues the climax. My fears of potential dramatic animation since the knife is there! moreover, akito’s own animation is always over the top. I hope they tone it down to portray her as a human more than a maniac.

Also, I hope they dont drag the climax more than that. What more you can shove in the dramatic raining weather. Tohru/kyo scene here matched the true arc scene bringing back parallel. Now akito/tohru raining scene next ep will match se02, ep10 scene. Now, what will the author do to defuse the climax? Often writing the falling action is harder than the climax itself. Falling action doesnt mean happy times & solving issues. It means dealing with the consequences of the climax. Let’s see what the writer has in store.

Based on the flashbacks, Kyoko didnt have ill feelings with kyo!!!! Until the last time he saw her as a child, she was happy with him. Even when he pushed her, she took it as a childlike behavior. at the accident, she didnt have much time to have any ill feelings. No way she thought he pushed her, no way she thought he could’ve saved her. So if she really recognized him, why would she say “ I wont forgive you”? it doesnt make sense at all. Kyoko doesn't hate kyo!!!! So, either he imagined, which is sth that I’ll hate so much! I spent so much emotions attached to a non existant words! NO. plz! NO!! Other possibility, she said sth else closer to the words! but then again how would we know? I NEED to know! ~ as expected, I’m still attached to this damn line! XD.

Kyo depressed in the mountains after kyoko’s death was very vaguely referenced in (1) se01, ep24 when kyo talked to kazuma! oh shoot! (2) in se02, sp 2 when kazuma thought back to kyo nearly killing himself in depression before meeting the dad, (3) in se02, ep 9 when kyo trampled on the flower! oof! i love this subtle style of writing! connecting the emotional dots! EPIC!

Various characters throut seasons 1, 2 & 3 noticed the real gentle kyo towards tohru: (1) Isuzu’s “ I hope tohru meets someone like haru, to gently open the door” se02, ep19. (2) Momiji having faith that kyo is the right person for tohru & pushing him, (3) yuki constantly musing over tohru/kyo love & drawing inspiration on wanting “ his own person to love like them” (3) Kisa saying kyo is kind to tohru se3, (4) shigure saying, you are exclusively kind to tohru se02, (5) Airisa saying, when will kyo confess in se01, (6) hana saying, marry my sister in the play & pushing him to not be locked! (7) yuki kicking him for saying “ its not your business” to tohru in kyoto trip, (8) kakeru saying “ kyo’s her boyfriend? “ AA~~~~ the whole cast know & can see his love to her!!! TOHRU! He doesnt hate you! KYO!! the entire cast thinks you DESERVE HER & is KIND! not a monster! Is there an image set of those moments of the cast saying that here in tumblr? kindly mention me to see it! I fear going to the tags & seeing spoilers T_T.

#Fruits Basket #Anime Only #Tohru Honda #kyo sohma #happy paper #final season #part 2

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princessnijireiki · 2 years

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wait okay so I def have been hearing & absorbing criticism from other Latines & Latin American ppl about Encanto bc imo it was still very nice, aesthetically beautiful, and better than I was expecting from Disney, but yeah, white writers & directors & producers, obvs Lin has only written 1.5 musicals in his life and keeps remixing them for everything else he's hired for (Encanto is just surprising bc it's one of his most successful executions, I think he def detracted from & held back Moana's potential a LOT), and as soon as they announced Encanto my first thought was, "were no Colombian songwriters available?" bc besides him being under contract... VERY weird that he is the one size fits all "It Boy™️" for white Hollywood's take on Latin rep rn

which is to say: I am open to less than glowing reviews of it!

HOWEVER, I saw a FB post on my feed from somebody complaining abt not liking the story or songs, but being like, "I loved seeing representation for all my AfroLatinx friends & family, though!" and it irked the shit out of me, and I couldn't place why... girl... I just remembered lmao.

first of all, no she's not Hispanic, so yes that was irritating, idk that she has any Latino family in the first place. secondly, yes she adored Hamilton.

thirdly... THIRDLY. I tend to forget she did this because it was in fucking sane & completely out of left field. she's the one who asked me both to brainstorm a "nonappropriative way" to do a Día de Muertos taco themed birthday party for one of her now-ex friends... and no I am not Mexican... and no it did not occur to her to just serve tacos without doing an ethnic "theme" complete w Party City type decor & costumes. and also asked me to translate a list of chores for that same ex-friend's new maid into Spanish bc she hired someone who didn't speak English (likely to be exploitatively cheap!) and did not herself speak Spanish... which is an INSANE ASK OFF TOP, RIGHT. but Y'ALL. to this day she has yet to hear me ever speak Spanish in front of her!!! she has never heard ANYBODY in my family speak Spanish!!! she assumed I spoke Spanish, was fluent, was open to that crazy fucking request, and that I SPECIFICALLY would have strong vocab skills in fucking cleaning products & bullying minimum wage employees.

I've talked about that incident on here before tbh just because every time I remember it it pisses me off AND bewilders me bc she would rightfully be fucking offended if I said, "oh we're doing a costumed sushi, samurai & Shinto funeral themed party lol" or "oh you definitely know how to say 'scrub the shit out from under the rim of the toilet & wash my dirty panties on 'sanitize' mode, oh also you get one unpaid 15min break' in Japanese, right?" ...and bc she's Black this weird ass fucking behavioral issue of hers is also not sth that came up in Black cultural discussions, bc of COURSE that racism is not directed towards herself or the aspects of MY identity that WE have in common. but when your baseline interactions are not fucked up in that specific way (until they suddenly are), it feels really weird to get the "nice" liberal "progressive" version of being called a fucking wetback by someone you considered a friend.

and anyway yeah she don't like Encanto but she's claiming all the Black rep + not a peep on the Indigenous rep, political backdrop, narratives of trauma, the artistic context it functions within, etc (and to top it all off Yes: she graduated w a whole history degree, Yes: she literally used to work doing historical reenactments alongside Native reenactors + costumed conquistadors in one of the local Spanish cities, and Yes: she still has a job in the history & education field).

and yk, this is one of those things where as a post it started out about Encanto & the importance of #ownvoices creation AND intracommunity convos re: critique of our own cultural works outside of a white, colonial, and/or xenophobic gaze, plus, like... general things people do that piss me off lol. but the post is ending on this note instead:

in 2022 I need to get used to the idea of not only continuing to assert boundaries over how I'm treated going forward— because at my big age now, I would never let that shit fly again, but my whole life, I've endured a LOT of shitty one-sided friendships just because I didn't know I didn't HAVE to LET people treat me bad... and there was never any shortage of people who WOULDN'T have done that to me, but that internal weakness & vulnerability, like that lack of self respect + enforcing standards of that respect from others, both attracts people who like you not having strong boundaries, AND it mentally closes you off to being open to relationships that DON'T look that way, because you think it's normal to endure physical cruelty or being demeaned or being expected to demean YOURSELF to access or deserve love or companionship.

but I also need to get more & more accustomed to stepping on toes in a very big way in order to do it. like in a very permanent, soccer cleats to the instep kind of way. because it's EASY to do that with people you don't give a shit about. who have no power over you, or whose treatment you aren't numb to (tbh FB is mostly sth I use for family, so the fact that this is usually background noise should tell you she's not the only person I need to remove from my friends list lol) or who you aren't clinging to out of some unaddressed desperation, loneliness, or needing closure, hesitation to abandon invested time (sunk cost fallacy...) or just being too afraid to confront the fact that someone you'd never do that to treats you badly BECAUSE they think of you exactly as badly as they act.

but no matter what reason you have for not having done it sooner... it feels silly the first time you accept a small frivolous thing like a cartoon can be a catalyst... but even if the last fucking straw is something stupid, that camel's back ain't any less broken. so it's a hard life skill. but I accept that I need to put loyalty to MYSELF over unearned loyalty to others, especially if that loyalty was spat on, exploited, and abused. and that includes the process of getting comfortable with hurting people's feelings when you tell them no & walk away.

but YEAH whew it's surreal to process that the last nail in the coffin of resentment that this friendship is being buried in is a fairly mild post about a Disney cartoon, specifically because 1) I've spent a long time (on this website specifically, actually) learning how to outsmart my ADHD by verbalizing my anger in longform stream of consciousness until I remember what dots to connect, and it clicks— can't do that on Twitter, baby— and 2) because in the years I've known this person, I've done a lot of self-work on self-valuation (ironically: a narrative theme of Encanto), and that means the cartoon post SHOULD have bothered me BECAUSE not only is it a friendship I've outgrown, I am & always have been worth more than being treated like that. so now the next step is I just gotta get used to making that the other person's problem, because it's damn sure not mine.

#and that's on new years epiphanies motherfuckers! eat shit!#and atp I just need to decide when to do it.#like I'm in the mental process of checking out but since I'm not 100% disengaged yet #I just need to figure out what timing will consume the least of my psychic energy lmao #colin robinson ass antics but ah well #and yes @ any anons who wanna drag me for my rock bottom self esteem issues: heffa I know. I already beat you to it! I'm untouchable bitch!#encanto but also... not. adventures in fb but also... not. hmm.#long post //#2022 #encanto (2021)#disney encanto

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briarrosescurse · 4 years

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(dances) 📖 what if, idol au 4 all ur beebs

i may know shit abt idols and how everything works BUT id die on a hill for this au (dances with u)

also pls dont mind my inner kpoppie coming out, my bias for certain styles is rlly shining through... IM ALSO NO EXPERT, SO DONT JUDGE ME

idols au

roza: she is in an unit but occasionally releases single albums due to her astounding popularity! roza follows usually girl crush concepts or concepts focused around love (including heartbreak) but her fans also adore it when she deviates from that and takes another turn - for example, in their latest comebacks (and roza’s solo), their concepts changed more into self-love!

despite that, people are so surprised to find out how much of a playful sweetheart she actually is. due to her clueless but entertaining personality, people love seeing her in interviews or shows.

roza is vocally quite strong and is usually praised for her range. she definitely has room for improvement in the dance apartment, but in her unit, she is the main vocalist. other people would consider her to be the visual alongside with another member.

examples would be; blackpink and mamamoo but as well as heize and iu

xiang: this man works as a solo idol and he is known for his more mature, sensual and sometimes rather explicit concepts. his albums are always a... sight to behold, honestly. let’s just say, they follow rather risque ideas - but hey, the producers and managers can’t complain, he’s bringing in the cash.

xiang is most definitely a more visual and dance heavy idol - his good looks attract attention and not to mention his build allows for some rather unique wardrobe choices. fancams of those love to go viral and they make people’s jaws drop.

other than that, he is actually excelling quite well at demanding dances - people like to praise him for keeping up a great vocal performance despite the difficult dances.

compared to actor au, however, he is viewed with a much more critical eye; xiang’s bold and doesn’t hold back his tongue, after all. not to mention, his fans grow quite jealous of him being possibly involved in love affairs.

if i had to give examples of the type of music he’d have, i’d say... wonho - it’s exactly what i imagine for xiang. other than that, i’d add taemin, nct or vixx

theodor: sweet lil’ theo is in an unit! his height brings him a bit at an disadvantage but his vocal abilities are very outstanding for that. he very much fits in more cheerful and crush themes - people eat that shit up and think his unit’s eras with those concepts is where he shines.

people love to gift him plushies of alpacas or llamas during fanmeets. he keeps every single one of them and the amount of photos that he posts of them with himself is astounding - not to mention during the fanmeets, you can see him hugging them for almost the whole duration.

watching the dance practices is usually pretty fun because you can see theodor making funny faces; he always brings a lot of sunshine with that cute face of his into the room and that makes him a huuuuge fan favorite for the stans of his group.

examples would be: shinee and got7

balgair: ASSUMING balgair would be in stagrove as a sort of. subunit? OR AT LEAST in a group with a similar style. i’d say he is definitely a dance heavy idol. most likely lead dancer AT LEAST. i think of like... very on point and synchronized. definitely also pretty rebellious and bad boy concepts going on.

like i said, i'd deem balgair to be a lead dancer - people would say he is rather underappreciated and deserves a lot more recognition. they also complain about the lack of his lines. but further than that, balgair's got a very charming and charismatic character - he only lets his mischievous side show during shows or interviews. he also appears to be fluent in a few foreign languages, so international fans always joke about him having a secret account to see what content the fans produce for him.

during fanmeets people LOVE talking to him, just because of how extroverted and friendly he is. they also comment on how, close up, you can really notice his unique fox-like face structures.

examples: nct and block b

chloe: she's a rather more 'unknown' idol, if you are not part of the community, but still has a certain reputation. as a solo artist, she goes against the typical girl crush concept and follows something more gender stereotype breaking.

she's very heavy on the vocal parts and also is praised for her pretty face, despite the lack of facial expressions she shows during lives or interviews. however, according to her fans, the longer you follow her and her content, the more you realize she's just a very awkward girl, bad at expressing her feelings - but that's what makes her so loveable.

she isn't the most actice idol, thus comebacks are rather not frequent for her, but you can very often see ads where she participates.

examples: moonbyul

madeline: good ol' maddy is the visual of his group. his vocal range is outstanding, but he is only considered as the lead vocal in his unit. he's another one where people like to say that his dancing leaves room for improvement; it's an inside joke in his fanbase that he is stiff like a log during dance practice.

madeline was formerly just an actor before he switched branches. his fanbase carried over as well, so he already made a name for himself. people did enjoy watching his growth, though; at first, it was hard for him getting used to teamwork, as he appeared to see it all as a competition instead of a group project, thus he was rather hostile in his trainee days. but he grew and developed and his fanbase really enjoys pointing that out about him.

his concepts are often a bit more on the emotional side; showing a rather vulnerable side of love, so to say. other than, his concepts are a lot more 'artsy' and tend to carry a convoluted plotline throughout the album. it's unusual, but certainly unique.

examples: bts and exo

briar: and lastly! our pricky prick himself! briar is one of the unexpectedly older idols but for that he is pretty much a talent in all fields - dancing, singing and even his visuals are nothing to complain about. he is a bit more... controversial, so to say? a lot of multistans think he is rather arrogant and really unfriendly - while they recognize his talent, they are critical of his attitude.

his concepts are varying, but it's usually also more of a bad boy and mature theme. his dance routines are fun to watch. sometimes, behind the scenes, you can see him teaching other members or helping them out. it's not too unusual for people to believe he is the leader of the unit.

examples: nu'est and 2pm

#twst oc #twisute oc #twisted wonderland oc #rozalina von dorimé #xiang yu #theodor peigne #balgair lane-fox #chloe-ruth chester #madeline hadder #briar prickler #au scenario rq #[my writing]#[idol au]

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1eos · 4 years

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expounding off my last anon but from my experience everyone that has said they dont like virgos nd caps tend to be immature ppl nd the reason why they dont like them is just bc they get called out on it. nd im not even attached enough to my star sign to be honestly offended when ppl say they hate virgos bc its really not a big deal to me. but met this one girl that said she hated virgos bc of a friend nd the friend sounded awful but the same shit she complained abt the friend doing......she did. nd she was very aggressive w me when i asked her to respect me nd my boundaries or when i called her out on being rude to others. nd if anyone has ever talked to me they know im rarely ever aggressive to ppl nd NEVER for no reason so for her to treat me like that was........im sure some ppl hate virgos nd caps for some funny reason like the way we’re know it alls nd thats fine. mood. even tho we’re right. but some ppl really do hate virgos nd caps bc we call ppl out on their shit nd all i have to say is.......the feeling is mutual

#tauruses arent included in this bc when ppl say they hate tauruses its for a reason #tauruses make u hate them its so funny

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aro-aizawa · 5 years

Note

Tell us about your AUs!! I’m curious!!

!!!!! an interested person???? hi anon i love you know that i would die for you without hesitation. bless you for letting me gush over my aus. this might be a lil messy (and long holy shit) considering im answering from my phone but from memory here are my aus (which i aint gonna lie are mostly either angst, hurt/comfort or canon divergent, or a mix of the three) in no particular order:

edit: now that im on computer it’s all under the cut but here’s a quick table of contents:

the one where hisashi is a pro hero

the one where hisashi is a villain

underground gladiator arena kidnap fic

the one where aizawa is inko’s brother

MUTE TODOROKI

izuku is related to all for one

gamer au

the one where uraraka is the protag instead

hp au

disney aus galore

the Spite™️ fic

the one where hisashi is a pro hero

heads up in literally none of my aus is midoriya hisashi a good parent. i mean in canon we know exactly three details about him being his name, his quirk and that he works abroad. that’s it. so, i don’t really like “good parent hisashi”. this au is basically ‘hey what if izuku got a fire quirk from his dad’ combined with my own personal views on fire, and then also deciding ‘wait what if hisashi and endevor did the same shit’. so it’s basically an au where izuku is in the same situation as todoroki.

it’s….kind of complicated now that it’s written down. in my head its p straight forwards?? anyways, basically my view on fire is that it absolutely shouldn’t be demonized as much as it is. because without fire, life couldn’t exist. it’s warmth and life and beauty. i just…think that view of it is perfect for izuku, and i always wanted to try my hand at fire quirk izuku.

also one of my few aus that’s actually gonna have a ship focus?? in that it’s tododeku but honestly knowing me i might end up accidentally dropping that aspect of it like i tend to do a LOT bc of my inability to write crushes (im an aro who’s never had a crush so me writing romance is…awkward at best lol)

the one where hisashi is a villain

i have……admittedly a lot of versions of this au. it’s by far one of my favourites to think about, for several reasons actually, mostly bc of angst but also because the hurt/comfort potential there is incredible.

my most current version of this au though plays with the idea that in the mha society those with ‘villainous’ quirks get discrimated against and pushed so the only chance they do have to survive is to turn to villainy. in this au i play with hisashi and inko’s quirks a little to make them more villainous and easier to discriminate against, for example hisashi can cremate anything he touches into ashes at will, and inko can minorly manipulate the limbs of other people although she’s mainly limited to pulling them towards her or pushing them back.

in this version, izuku is quirkless and still goes through ua determined to change the way that society works and right the wrongs in how it’s set up while also proving that quirkless people aren’t useless. a lot of dadzawa in this one because it is my w e a k n e s s. there’s a few other elements thrown in there, but overall that’s the basic jist of it.

underground gladiator arena kidnap fic

one of my darker aus where a group of villains kidnap kids who took the ua exam to create an “everything goes” fight club that customers can watch and occasionally participate in.

my general idea for this was “the sports festival is pretty brutal when you think about it. it’s almost like everything but killing goes” and then i thought that in a superpowered society there is no way there isn’t any kind of underground fight club where people can go full out w their quirks.

hence this au was born! the kids who’re kidnapped w izuku have been constantly changing over the ladt year or so that i’ve had this idea but rn i decided on having shinsou, kaminari, mina, tokoyami and yaoyorozu w him. the rest would be filled w ocs bc the villains weren’t dumb enough to kidnap all of the heroics students, just a handful.

bearing in mind the kids are all taken a couple days after the entrance exam so they’re not familiar with each other and izuku is the only one familiar w a pro hero and that’s a secret. not to mention he’s only used his quirk once at this point, and he has no access to recovery girl’s quirk so he has to figure smth out IMMEDIATELY or he’s completely fucked.

the one where aizawa is inko’s brother

look if you inspect my aus carefully you’ll see a theme and that theme is i fucking love aizawa. anyways, in this one izuku has a pretty powerful nullification quirk and is trained by aizawa. aizawa and inko have like an eight or ten year age difference, so they weren’t all that close until inko reached out when izuku was eight.

i’ll admit this is one of my lesser developed aus but it’s canon divergent with a focus on izuku hoping to be an underground hero. and due to his quirk and that aspect of his personality, it kind of changes a lot of things??? potentially a short(ish) au if i ever got round to writing it out. maybs about 20k-30k words idk.

(this is mostly born bc i feel like people forget that there’s only a fifteen year age difference between aizawa and izuku for a number of reasons. also bc inko/aizawa….is kind of weird in my mind. definitely not a fan :///)

MUTE TODOROKI

look i fucking love mute aus okay, but when i was trying to apply it to the mha universe i started thinking “holy shit todoroki could definitely be mute” or smth and ever since this au is close to my heart.

basically when poor rei burned lil shouto, she mentally scarred him into mutism. ever since the kettle incident, shouto can’t speak a word. endeavor is told by the doctor that although nothing physically is wrong, shouto is mute. endeavor is a DICK and p much decides he’ll just wait it out for shouto to finally talk bc he’s just being childish (basically he’s ablist and doesn’t let todoroki learn sign. which is bullshit but doesn’t majorly effect him bc he’s homeschooled until high school anyway).

it’s sort of canon divergent but also maybe a complete au??? in that there’s no league of villains. when all might fought afo the first time he succeeded in putting a stop to the villain and killing him. izuku still gets ofa, but he’s not the protag of the story, this time it’s todoroki.

anyways, ua sees that todoroki is mute (which isn’t registered and completely unknown to the general public) and doesn’t know sign language (resorting to notes and/or charades if he needs to communicate something), and decides to investigate that shit.

endeavor eventually gets what he deserves bc the trash bag can go rot in hell, and that’s p much all i got aside from the class realising FAST they need to adopt and love todoroki so there’s a lot of wholesome bonding there.

izuku is related to all for one

admittedly this one is one of my most underdeveloped aus but i still love it all the same. basically my take on it bc the whole ‘afo is hisashi’ thing kinda weirds me out considering afo is at least 200 years old. in this au he’s izuku’s grandfather and inko is his daugther who escaped him and lives in hiding.

i haven’t decided whether i want this au to be my take on izuku having afo or if it’s another quirkless izuku au. i haven’t gotten very far into it, all i know is that afo has no emotions and he’s a heartless bastard (me hating the dad for one trope w a passion) so there’s sort of MAJOR angst potential if i decide to go down that route.

gamer au

izuku’s quirk is that his life is a game. that’s….that’s it. if you’re familiar with sword art online, it has a lot of influence from that w/o the characters or plot or pervertedness or incest because what the fuck sao was so bad with all those. still pissed bc outside that it had potential and i think abt that a lot.

anyways, so y’know how in a lot of rpgs there’s the hud w stats and an inventory system and abilities?? well apply that to izuku and he’s p much that. the world “autosaves” whenever he sleeps, but he can’t manually load a save. if he dies he starts over from his last autosave.

bc of his access to abilities and stuff, he has the potential to be powerful bc hey he can basically do magic, but at the same time he just healed his body completely by drinking this drink he made w herbs and shit last night. also he can carry a ludicrous amount of shit that couldn’t possible fit in his backpack but apparently he’s got seventeen cheese wheels in there and room for half the classroom furniture too.

izuku sees the world w a hud which would be annoying but it’s normal for izuku. in fact, he sort of hates watching tv because the hud doesn’t appear on the screen and it’s so weird and bizarre he doesn’t really like it.

i haven’t planned anything but details of the quirk bc it can get waaaay too overpowered too quickly and hhhh i sort of burnt out of different ways this would effect canon, so i didn’t think abt it. but i did figure out that izuku would have so many gaming analogies for his friends and be into like a thousand different games.

the one where uraraka is the protag instead

born when i was complaining about how shitty horikoshi is at writing his female characters i brainstormed this au in a discord server where i overhauled canon w a more badass uraraka. (and she doesn’t even get ofa!!! she’s just badass on her own!!!)

basically bc she’s a lot more confident and determined in this au she influences a lot of her classmates. the other girls are a lot more active in their actions and are more than just the background characters. uraraka’s full strength is explored and i think i planned for her to win the sports festival bc she deserved it.

also inspired by the idea i had of pro hero uraraka kicking a lamp post down on her own strength and using it to put a comet home run on a villain like she did in the battle trial. bc holy shit that’s a fantastic mental image.

basically my “mha girls fucking rule and fuck horikoshi’s shitty writing” au

hp au

ah yes, finally we get to my take on the most generic of aus. basically i just wanted todoroki in hufflepuff to piss off endeavor and basically loving it bc he befriends izuku in it. i definitely haven’t developed this au outside of worldbuilding in how i’d combine the two universes whilst fixing both jkr and horikoshi’s bad writing.

i actually wrote a snippet that’s somewhere on my blog that i can’t link to now but you could probs for search it. but this was basically born from me getting angry at people putting the kids in the wrong houses. im a firm believer that izuku fits in nearly every house but hufflepuff and slytherin suits him the most while todoroki is ABSOLUTELY a hufflepuff. i wanted some platonic tododeku bonding so i put izuku in hufflepuff. uraraka is slytherin, iida is gryffindor, and it’d be too messy to list all the kids so i won’t.

but!! what im most happy w in this au is how i incoporate mha stuff into it. like how hagakure isn’t actually invisible she just got permanently hexed by her brother to always be unnoticed so you can never know what she looks like or where she is. tokoyami has a bird head due to a failed attempt at becoming an animagi. its permanent and although he could get it fixed, theres actually a number of wizards w the same thing do there’s a lot of animal like wizards. shinhou comes from a pureblood family thats been known for their dark magic, even though the last four generations haven’t been dark wizards the wizardinv world is convinced he’ll be a dark wizard too but shinsou wants to prove them wrong. amajiki being a metamorphmagus who shifts his limbs into animals when he’s nervous. etc etc. i have too much worldbuilding and no plot lmao.

disney aus galore

one day i thought up abt three different disney aus for the mha universe but my first idea was a little mermaid au for momojirou w momo being the princess and jirou being the mermaid.

except besides the basic premise i p much scrapped the whole movie in that jirou learns sign language to talk to momo and the two play music together. jirou plays piano or w/e whilst momo sings. it’s v gay. theres a ball and they dance and then kiss. i never wrote it out bc i didn’t wanna add conflict in it but never got round to actually writing it lmao.

but i thought up a tododeku tangled au, kiribaku cinderella au, tsuocha princess and the frog au, and a couple others that i didn’t plan out fully. still close to my heart if i ever manage to get round to writing them out. each would probs either be a long shot at 7k-15k words or a short multichapter fic at 25k-30k words.

the Spite™️ fic

the fic where i get pissed at every shitty thing about horikoshi’s writing. izuku gets mad at all might for his views on quirkless people and gets into ua on his first try. izuku rightfully does not take bakugou’s shit and calls him out at every opportunity. bakugou’s actions have repercussions. all might gets punished for almost letting bakugou kill izuku in an exercise.

izuku gets pissed over a lot of shit basically. also at one point he either punts mineta into the sun or loudly and publicly makes the argument that mineta should be expelled from ua including evidence and testimonies from the girls. and he encourages nearly all of them to get better costumes.

i haven’t actually written much abt it but if there’s smth i got pissed @ horikoshi for smth in canon it’d be address in this fic bc oh boy am i never spiteful so it’s kind of theraputic to write even tho i haven’t done it in a while.

uh….i have a lot more but man i think i’ve been writing this for like an hour or two idk im gonna finish this before the app crashes or smth. thank you for letting me ramble this got long oops sorry.

#shut up danni #mha #danni’s aus #hhhhh im passionate abt many of these aus as you can tell #this is a free pass to tell me which/if you’re interested in btw #long post

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sheridans-boys · 5 years

Text

Thank you for explaining it to me…..well! Here i go-

Alex could not help but panic. She felt like the world was closing in. She needed space to breath but at the same time she did not want to be alone and her heart wanted to reach out to grab an anchor before she lost herself. Her best kept secret, was suddenly exposed and her walls came crumbling down. She was panicking and sobbing in the arms of Sheridan. The events of the disasterous evening kept playing in her mind again and agian.

She and Sheridan had gone to her house to work on a project. She had thought that it would be fine as her father was out on a business trip and her step mother was usually out of the house, spending hours entertaining herself. Alex was afraid to bring Sheridan home, but this time they were working on a deadline and her house was the closest to the campus. Immersed in work, both of them lost the track of time, but finished the project just before dinner time.

Looking at the clock Alex said, “Lemme go and get something for us to snack on!! I am starving! After wrapping this up, let us go out for dinner to celebrate the completion of this evil, soul-sucking homework project!”

Sheridan laughs,enjoying her best friends joy at completing their homework,“ Sure Alex, whatever you want! But don’t let the boys hear you! I doubt that they would be happy when you compare evil with homework. That reminds me, what happened the other day when Kookie came to pick us up? I saw that you two were sort of arguing?”

*rolls eyes* “Jungkook was being annoying, Sheridan!”, Alex complains,“ I don’t know why but he suddenly beacame hostile when James came to return the book he had borrowed from me in the class. He kept glaring at him till he went away and then turned to me, and started scolding me!! Scolding!!! And me!! Going on about how I should stay away from such creatures called human boys! I told him that James was an aquintance who wanted help in class nothing more but he would not listen!!”

Sheridan laughed and said, “ He came and complained at home that you were not listening to him any more and how his fav little sister had turned rebellious! Tae and Jimin were escatic at the news and started making bets on who would your new fav as they claimed that Kook had himself to blame for that!”

Alex smiled, touched that she had found such caring people. Hearing her growling stomach, she barked a laugh and ran out of her room towards the kitchen just to collide with something. She heard something fall and shatter but when she looked up, all happiness drained out of her.

Her father was standing near a broken glass of whiskey and was glaring at her angrily. Alex felt helpless, she knew that her father was drunk and no amount of begging or pleading or apologising would stop what was going to happen. She tried her best to remain out of the way of her family, because she knew that her father hated her and only torelated her beacuse of his so called image in he society. But behind the doors, she had become intimately familiar with her father’s temper and his heavy hand. Even a slight provocation, like even being in the same room, set her father off, and he would usually blow out his fuse. Staring from verbally abusing her and then beating her senselessly with whatever he could find. Thankfully up till now, he had stopped before she could land herself in hospital but remained in constant pain the coming days. Being always happy and surrounded by friends, people could never imagine what happened behind the doors.

Today was not a good day, Alex could sense it. Seeing her father furious, she became paralysed with shock and fear, “ D-Dad….i-i am so sorry…” was all she could utter when the screaming profanities started. She felt helpless and afraid and trembled all over.

Sheridan dropped the books she was packing in shock when she heard the screaming. She rushed downstairs and was utterly shocked when she saw Alexandria’s father screaming at her and Alex just standing with hunched shoulders. Everyone who had previously met Alexandria’s father had said nothing but good words.

But Sheridan had felt something was off when she met him coz of the snide remarks he had made about demons.

When she saw him lift his hand to slap Alexandria, Sheridan felt like someone had poured cold water at her, and she rushed to intervene. Sheridan believed that regarding abuse there were three types of people in the world- The Abuser, The Abused, and the Bystander. Take even one of them out of the equation, and the world would be a happy place. Sheridan refused to be the Bystander and the determination to help her best friend out of here gave her a clarity on how to proceed. She jumped in between them and took the hit. Her father was shocked speechless and Sheridan took the opportunity to kick him in the balls hard and proceeded to drag Alex out of there. Sheridan knew that the boys would be furious on Alexandria’s behalf, coz they had come to love her too as their little sister, proclaiming that she was one of the humans who were sincere in their feelings. All of them loved spending time with Alex when they could, she could give them human company and indulged with them in their hobbies without drooling over them. Sheridan could not wait to tell the boys.

(Well, I hope that was something that you can work with author-nim! Thank you for providing me with an opportunity to write. I want to write about how the boys cuddled and comforted Alexandria, but I was not confident enough to write that out. (I screamed like a banshee when i had read Jimin saying to Alex “sweetheart, we will not……! Oh!! The FEEEELLLLLSSS!! How can I write such amazing dialogues! *pouts*) I had also imagined someone in hyung line chiding Alex coz of some self depreciating remarks she makes abt herself, but then I drew blank!!

*groans* writing is such a hard task! I definitely have a new found respect for you!! I had fun though! Please do not hold back from criticising what i have written. *puppy dog eyes* I would love to hear about how I can improve on my writing work. ‘Be my teacher’ ;)

-----

Sheridan was no fool. Not when it came to her friends and those she cared about. Sure; she was naive to a fault and often oblivious and never saw the bad in anyone when it came to herself; though thankfully the boys made sure she didn’t really have to worry about that anymore; but when it came to others? She didn’t enjoy reading body language for nothing and the way Alex would nimbly avoid meeting up at her house every time didn’t go unnoticed by her.

She let it slide however and was ecstatic when she invited her over; figuring whatever had upset her or held her back was gone or that her situation had changed. Working on the project and their conversation came easily...they weren't best friends for nothing after all. She couldn't help but smirk as they talked about Jungkook and the others and she explained.

Getting those boys to open up to humanity was one heck of a task; Namjoon and Hoseok especially were vehemently against it; and even Yoongi had his doubts but eventually, they all came to care about not only her but Alex as well though in more of a sibling way rather than the sexual and… dare she say romantic relationship she shared with them. But it had happened.

Then their easy suddenly all came to a screeching halt as Alex descended the stairs to get snacks for them. An uneasy feeling settled in her gut. When she heard something shatter that was the last straw and she hopped up; rushing downstairs just as yelling began. She shivered, feeling herself begin to tremble at words all too familiar as she flashed back to her own mother's abusive ex. She quickly got ahold of herself when she saw Alex’s father raise his hand.

She lunged.

“Alex!!”

The loud smack of skin on skin filled the air and he looked down at her in shock and vague disgust at her presence though it quickly turned to pain as Sheridan snarled and kneed him hard like Yoongi had taught her. While he was distracted she swiftly grabbed Alex’s hand and guided her out safely; knowing it wouldn’t be long before the boys found them thanks to the harsh hit causing her cheek to bruise.

"Let's go. You're staying with me and the boys tonight." She mumbled. Once she arrived the boys were on both of them instantly as she knew they would be.

"What the fuck happened to you two?"

Yoongi's voice was cold but only because he was so angry on your behalf.

Sheridan spoke up and explained so Alex wouldn’t have to as they all got together on the couch; voice quiet and somber as she did so. Seokjin tended to her cheek despite her grumble that she was fine and it didn’t really hurt as she explained everything.

“Well, she’s obviously not going back.”

Namjoon snorted out once Sheridan finished her explanation.

“You can stay here however long you need; you know we have the room for it.” Jimin piped up; offering the girl comfort by smiling gently and giving her shoulder a squeeze.

Jungkook couldn’t even form words he was so pissed; merely glaring holes at the front door as he tongued the inside of his cheek in a further show of his irritation. Hoseok walked out quietly, leaving the other 6 boys with her and causing Sheridan’s brow to furrow in worry as she saw a vivid pain that was rare for any of them flash across his face. Seokjin pulled back from checking Sheridan’s bruised cheek; turning his attention to Alex as his expression turned from gentle focus to dark determination.

“...Can we take care of him?”

It was a loaded question and one that had all the boys and Sheridan staring her down. Sheridan had no doubt if she answered yes the boys would all be out the door to make him regret his choices...but she also knew how hard making the choice could hurt; as her own abuse once again flashed through her mind.

She winced.

No matter how she hated Chris...she still didn’t have the strength to not feel frightened at the mere sight of him or the sound of his voice. It made her feel pathetic and weak but she also had ever told the boys...and had no intention to. It was in the past, and it wasn’t like she was even in contact with her Mother(who was still friends with him) and her new husband now anyway so she wouldn’t have to see him again.

She had a new family now.

“It’s 100% your decision. Feel free to take all the time you need.”

She mumbled quietly as she threw an arm around her shoulders; empathizing more than Alex probably even realized.

(Lmaooo you did just fine!! Just so you know in the future though; there’s no need to control either the boys or OC(Sheridan)! That’s my job so it makes it a bit confusing to respond to. No biggie though! I was once a beginner at full-on descriptive roleplaying too many years ago so I get it! I’m getting back into roleplaying myself so forgive me if this isn’t my best work lol.

The boys will be more integral once you respond again I was just handling setup but I’ll be sure to include what you mentioned! It’s always best to just respond to what’s directed at your character last; since that’s basically where I’m leaving off the story for you to pick up if that makes sense? I hope I’m explaining this well enough lol. Don’t feel pressured to match my length by the way! My starters are always hella long...I adapt to my partner!)

#submission #tempus anon #tp! sheridan answers #tp! boys answer

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chikotos · 7 years

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speaking of That my mom is finally recognizing that when I say “i dont feel good” it doesnt mean i have a cold or sth its that Uh, im probably experiencing suicidal thoughts and cant express it well (or at least smth along those lines) and my house has been dirty cuz i havent cleaned in a while or i cant keep it clean and she n my sister cleaned an area and i repeatedly told her not to bc shes always using my sister to do things im not adequate enough to do on time and its rlly not fair to her even if she doesnt realize it cuz like shes only 12 & we dont ever even talk so she shouldnt have to take care of someone 5 years older than her.. and i was gonna clean but I basically slept all day so i could just clean alone at night when I feel safe to walk around the house . i wasnt even tired idk why i slept but now im eerily awake and maybe will be umless i force myself to sleep

its so lonely here and thats only hit me like this year cuz all the time before I would go through periods of hanging out after school maybe.. twice a year? and only hanging out with one person whod have many friends but theyd b my only friend which is a problem i tend to have. but it jst got to the point where im realizing, i think cuz i was in my schools drama program n exposed to lots of friendships, that im jst like ,really fucking lonely. Which is unfortunate because ive always been such an internal person at home and have been able to work creatively but thats all like leaving me? art doesnt make me happy anymore because i dislike my art so much and havent had a platform to share it in so long and i guess I thrive on other ppls opinions of it? and I definitely cant write anymore. I havent been able to zone in on an interest in MONTHS and thats left me creatively drained, a lot.

I think im starting to rlly, RLLY redirect my complete attention from interests to ppl (which always ends well am i right lads) and it isnt fair to ppl who like, have others and need space and time etc or Uh, dont even know me. but its like a switch like , I can either be creative or i can feel loved and Boy Howdy, do i need both,

its just weird cuz im the only one in my family thats emoitonal like this and I think thats why i feel so isolated. like im not exxagerating when I say my dad has 0 friends tht arent family. my mom has work friends she will hang out with maybe 4 times a year not for work, but shes always complaining abt social situations which I can understand. maybe my siblings r like that too but my sisters young n focuses on minecraft n stuff n hangs out w friends more than me n we barely know each other so its not like id know, maybe my half brother is but whens the last time hes wanted to talk to me right. like i cry all the time and all it does is make my dad angry at memfor being incompetent and make my mom think its her fault and my sister confused and jst takes up everyones time

and its jst all v strange. like i was kinda raised 2 not have friends, inadvertantly i guess. i can remember my mom trying to make me feel better about something along the lines of u can b okay w/out friends if u have family but she jst told me friends dont matter and im never gonna talk to ppl i meet at my age as an adult, so it stuck w/ me and i started to make moral judgements on ppl on small things we could talk out like say, they use homophobic language sometimes but im sure theyd respect me enough to stop, but id make those judgements before we could befriend each other n take a chance, kinda to protect myself from attachments? but later in life ive found ppl who dont do stuff like that, and thats when i focus in on them im an unfair way to them and they r the only person/group of ppl in my life, etc etc and idk how to stop because im so scared of hanging out w/ most ppl alone i guess? but ill still be here, thinking about like example (namedrop bc he doesnt have me tumblr anyways) my friend jacob tht never hung out w/ me outside of school but i fuccin loved that kid n he just stopped talking to me over the summer n ignored my text i send first day of summer and now we see each other and talk briefly but its like he wont let us be friends anymore and smth like this always happens and its So

and tbh how can i expect it to not happen when i limit myself so much n they will have plenty of other close close friends when i dont? and i think ive gotten better but idk anymore.

and uh, unrelated. I think my dog ive had for 12 years may have to end up being put down this year. hes got cataracts in both eyes and skin diseases and back problems and teeth problems (hes inbred) and hes losing his hearing too and for the past two weeks hes been peeing everywhere and we can let him out but he cant climb stairs anymore n he has to walk them to get to our yard and im the only one w/ the patience to pick him up (hes only 8 pounds) n put him in the yard bc my parents will jst scream at him n my sister doesnt like dogs and hes got seperation issues w me and whines when he cant be in my room which is the farthest from the door out n stuff. and its like rlly stressful my mom will scream at him in front of my sister n brother n me and the other day she said my dad grabbed him by the neck and threw him out on the concrete cuz he peed inside and hes so tiny that thats just gonna make everyting worse and its notmlike i can stop them bc why would anyone listen to me and hed prob b fine for s few more years if he lived in a patient house with ppl who would take him to the vet but theyre prob gonna put him down early snd its gonna b so weird w/out him

when i showered earlier i took s razor with me w/ the intent to cut my thighs, and i did a little, but i never ever draw blood wnd its strange. why am i given these urges when im so fucking terrified of blood. itll still leave marks n stuff but it makes me feel weak ? n ill bruise myself up instead but its never the same. and im such an advocate for help w self harm but i cant for myself. its like i subconsciously want 2 get caught ? idk. i did throw my razor away though and the others i have r rusty and im not THAT much of a dumbass so i dont have options to self harm anymore unless i get new ones. lifehack

and uh lol, having no schedule n it being summer my eating habits r SHIT. it always hurts to eat p much, its at different times n most of the time i just snck only or i dont eat for hours n see black spots n stuff. and when i dont eat its not a body image thing (im nt rlly happy w my nody but its not sth not eating will help with) its cuz i dknt wanna go upstairs for food where my dad is n the snacks r downstairs so its easier, or cuz i forget or cuz i like, want to punish myself? but im too lazy to self harm. its weird

n since ive stopped id’ing as ace officially my internalized lesbophobia has gotten so much worse . im so repressed and lost ans sad, nothinng rly makes sense? I either fall in love w/ anyone who flirts with me or i focus on someone who ill never fucking talk to or see again and imagine countless scenarios n set myself up to b sad. i seek validation from ppl on it but nothhing comes out right or i just cant say it, because other than when i make myself the butt of gay jokes i just cant sven get the words out of my throat that im gay cuz im jst so ashamed and disgusted with myself. ive been looking at pictures of guys lately cuz ive been trying to force myself to like them. back when i thought i was pan it always felt safer bc i could always just love a cis guy or whatever and everything would b okay for my family ykno. and its such a shameful thing for me bc my irl friends who im out to, most see me as v confident abt it at least a little bc im loud abt it u kno, and make all sorts of jokes, and i jst know so many would b surprised or like sad abt that

i want to stop liking girls so much. like holy shit. i have so many straight girl friends and i hate it when they flirt with me because lik, none r my type so i feel nothing but then i feel like i shiuld then feel like No i shouldnt then feel like i shouldnt even be around them bc im a gross disgusting creepo dyke predator. n they always use the excuse of me having a gf so its fine id never hit on them well like, now im single so i have to be DOUBLE careful not to b affectionate w them as im w all my friends and itsssssssssssssmjshfjhdjfhsjdhjshdjshdjhsjdhsjhdjshdk

and i like, think abt this girl alot n yea its romantic even thomwe never fucking talked n rlly i do that w lots of girls and its making me lose out on friendships bc i wanna b their friends somehow bc i think theyre very cool n stuff but i cant stop hodling on to stupid daydreams n idealizations i get to distract me when im sad n its jst stupid like i know its dumb but guess whos boutta keeeeeeppppp doin it??!!!!! boy!!!

and i try so damn hard to talk feeling out, n talk abt who im attracted to n stuff w ppl, n i try so hard to gush but i cant cuz smth comes outta my mouth and then i cant speak past that and no one ends up rlly knowing how i feel, bc ANY time i talk abt anytingngay related abt me its what happens. and i listen to others talking abt tht stuff and i jsut get so god damn JEALOUS bc idk how to express myself

all these inadequacies n shit is making it rlly hard to see how,im gonna b on my own n its always been like this. at TWELVE YEARS OLD i came to fhe fucking conclusion that i was just gonna kill myself when i turned 18 so i didnt have to deal with all this and i was OKAY WITH IT and i just went through life knowing that and hiding it and so rarely questioning my inevitable suicide as a childc so instead of dealing with all that n my problems n getting better i let myself get worse cuz uh, fuck it right

idk its all just occured to me how im not a fully functioning human being, in seberal if not all aspects of my life, its weird. now that I actively want to live and realize i uh Kinda have to simce ill b the legal guardian of my brother its all very scary

sorr i was all over the place and all the typos i didnt mean anyof them n im not crytyping like, i cried a bit but i jst hate typing kn thsi shitty tablet keyboard, n dont wanna spellcheck. if u read through comgratulations also please dont message me abt like the self harm junk n my dog n stuff like, whatever ur abt to say. I Know my guy

time to go uhhhhhhhhhhh daydream about impossible gay shit with guilt in the back of my mind

#personal #animal abuse/#self harm/#other stuff probably i guess #nya #its long uhh full disclosure i sjt wanted to feel like i was talkin 2 someone nyall can ignore this

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