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#but then the break up happened as a way to allow robert to be tied to the whites' exit which is a decision i totally get but it did have so
Really? The break up era always made me love them a little bit less. love you for finding the good in it.
I think the reason i’m such a lover of the break up era is that i was the one fucker in the fandom who was literally begging for it at the time (well there was someone else with me but she became an anti not long after that lol)
like the moment we got the spoilers that said it was happening i’m pretty sure i said “oh thank god!” out loud
the way it was between them between the reveal and the break up was becoming really really uncomfortable for me to watch as a lover of.. them. it felt like they were draining the life out of each other and it was draining to watch! they were both lying about how they really felt because they were scared of losing each other (which was a fascinating aspect that i did appreciate), they were super snappy with each other and most importantly - and as much as i loved and sympathised with robert - i felt like the situation was way too unfair on aaron as a character, way too cruel, he really felt like a mug (and that’s coming from a robron shipper who gets how they got there and who loved them both)
but yeah.. it didn’t look good and that period was soul-sucking. it couldn’t go on like that, it was clearly not sustainable and i was desperate for something to give. anons were fearing a break up the whole time prior, and people were saying “i don’t think a break up would solve anything when their issue is a lack of communication, it’s counter-productive” and things like that and i remember thinking “guys we’re way past communication problems here, like yes it’s the root of their problems and that’s how they got there but we’re way past that, it’s too late now the damage is done”
personally, i desperately needed aaron to go “FUCK! ALL! OF! THIS!” and do this for himself, take control, walk away, get better (he was clearly miserable and like.. who wouldn’t be in his place lmao), i needed robert to pay the consequences of his actions (losing aaron) and i needed him to suffer (i say that with all the love in the world haha). i needed the fresh air a break up would bring, the pining, the jealousy (yes i needed robert to see aaron with another man), obviously the inevitable reunion!! and we got all that!! and i cherish all of it
imagine how boring things would have been if the break up hadn’t happened, if they’d just stuck it out for however long and just worked through it idk.. all the things we would’ve been deprived of! I am convinced that their story needed that stage - as difficult as it was sometimes - it only made it richer, it made them more and it made them better. what they are now, what they have is because they went through that stage and learned from it and let’s not forget that they never stopped being insanely in love with each other through it all!
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liberty-barnes · 3 years
Text
Just Breathe
Tom Holland x Female!Osterfield!Bisexual!Reader
Summary: Childbirth waits for no one, not even the Oscars.
Warnings: fluuuuuff, pregnant reader, mentions of childbirth, good press articles, BISEXUAL READER WOOOHOOO
Word Count: 1.5k words
Estimated Reading Time: 6 minutes
A/N: heeeeey look @peterspideyy​ @parkersbliss​ that crazy idea i ranted to you about like six months ago finally got done! i can’t believe i did it... this feels too good to be true, is the world gonna end or something?
Masterlist 
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"I don't think this is a good idea."
"Me neither."
"Please, just stay here."
You looked up to your brother and husband, frowning as you smoothed your hand over the soft black fabric of your gown.
"I am not missing the Oscars, Tom. I've still got two weeks until I'm due, it'll be fine."
You sat down on the bed and looked dejectedly at your shoes, then proceeded to throw puppy dog eyes your brother's way until Harrison had no choice but to kneel and help you put on your comfortable trainers. There's no way you're putting on your heels at 37 weeks of pregnancy.
"But what if Baby decides to come sooner? You could go into labour at any moment!"
You rolled your eyes and only raised your arms so they could help you out of bed.
"You guys are being over-dramatic. Nothing's gonna happen. We're just going to the Oscars, we'll have a good time, and hopefully, I'll leave with a little statue under my arm."
With that, you waddled out of your hotel room, ready to get into the limo.
---
"(Y/n)! It's so good to see you! You look radiant as always!"
You smiled at Kaitlyn, an interviewer you knew and trusted and rubbed your belly comfortingly. 
"Thank you, I feel like a whale, but Baby'll be here soon so it's worth it."
She smiled and asked you a bunch of questions about your movie and how you were feeling about being nominated for Best Actress.
"But anyway, how far along are you now?"
"I'm a little over 37 weeks, they should be coming soon. Tom and Haz were actually really apprehensive about me coming here since I'm so close to my due date."
She smiled and looked over at the two men, obviously on edge.
"Well, I wish you all the best and I sincerely hope you win."
You hugged her goodbye and posed for a few more pictures before being led inside by your husband.
---
"And now, for the moment you've all been waiting for..."
Everyone watched with bated breath as Brie Larson, last year's winner, got ready to announce who would take home the trophy.
"This year's winner, and taking home the Oscar for best actress in a leading role..."
Tom took your hand and you squeezed it tight, ready to applaud one of the other amazing actresses on their win.
"(Y/n) Holland, for her brilliant performance in Two Sides of the Same Coin!"
You felt like your heart was gonna beat out of your chest, run to that stage, kiss Brie, then promptly burst to flames out of sheer, unadulterated enthusiasm. Tom was hugging you and whispering how much you deserved it while your brother gently guided you to the podium. None of them would ever allow you to go up there on your own. Always one in front of you in case you trip forward and one behind you to catch you if you fall back.
Overprotective much?
As soon as you reached Brie, you hugged her tight (or as tight as you could with a human baby house separating you), taking the award while the two boys hugged her too.
"Holy Louis Tomlinson in a crop top."
The audience laughed, most of them already familiar with your strange One Direction inspired expressions.
"Wow, I didn't actually think I was gonna win this, everyone had such amazing performances. I-It's an honour, really. Two Sides of the Same Coin was a project very near and dear to my heart, so I'd like to thank the amazing Drew Barrymore, who wrote and directed the movie."
The room erupted in cheers and the woman smiled at you from her place on the front row.
"Bisexual representation is something we don't get very often, and when we do, it's always misjudged. So thank you for showing the world what bisexuality really is, and for giving me a chance to live out my dreams of kissing lots of people. This idiot tied me down too soon."
You pointed behind you at Tom, hearing his appalled squeak along with Harrison's guffaw of a laugh. 
In other news, the baby was starting to inconvenience you slightly. Baby had been going crazy since last night (not that you'd tell the boys) and the Braxton-Hicks were killing you, but it only got worse now.
"I'd also like to thank my amazing costars, Zendaya, Bella Thorne, and Owen Patrick Joyner, it was awesome to make out with you all..."
The crowd laughed while you felt something trickle down your legs.
Oh.
OH.
You'll never live this down, that's for sure.
"Uh, before I finish can one of you idiots call the car and get them to come to the exit please and thank you? Now as I was saying-"
"Wait, why?"
You turned to your brother and smiled innocently.
"Oh, my water just broke."
The crowd cheered.
Tom screamed.
Harrison fell to the floor, unconscious.
You sighed.
"New plan, can anyone try to wake my brother while my hus-" 
You looked at Tom, frantically doing small back and forths between you and his best friend, unsure of what to do. 
"-While someone else calls the car because both of them are apparently useless."
"We need to get you to the hospital!"
His terrified scream could be heard all through the room, even with no mic.
"What? No! I need to finish my acceptance speech, then go back to the hotel to shower and maybe take a little nap and then go to the hospital. My water just broke, Thomas, we have time, calm your tits."
You turned back fully to the mic, facing the hysteric faces of the crowd, very entertained by the exchange.
"Now as I was saying, I want to thank the amazing team that worked on this movie, you're all amazing and it was such a good experience. I'd also like to thank my family for always being there for me and supporting me and Haz in our acting careers. Thank you to my brother, even if he's unconscious right now, he'll just watch it on Youtube later, for literally forcing me to go to the audition. And lastly, I'd like to thank my wonderful husband, who hopefully hasn't passed out yet, for always supporting me and being my biggest rock through everything. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to deliver a baby, you know, just normal Saturday night stuff."
---
An Oscar in hand and another... down her legs?
(Y/n) Holland sure gave the Oscars something to be entertained by on this last Saturday. The wife of fellow actor Tom Holland looked radiant in her custom-made Valentino dress, looking ready for a night of fun.
(Y/n) was nominated for this year's Best Actress in a Leading Role award, alongside Meryl Streep, Margot Robbie, Cate Blanchett, and Tessa Thompson, but the Oscar went to her from her brilliant performance in Two Sides of the Same Coin. But it was during her acceptance speech that things got... slippery.
At 37 weeks of pregnancy, the Holland baby was ready to come at any minute, but apparently, theatrics run in the family. The actress was in the middle of her speech when she felt her water break, pausing in her talking to request a car be called.
You'd think her husband, Tom, and brother Harrison Osterfield, overprotective as they are, would be fully prepared! Unfortunately for them, and fortunately for our entertainment, they were not. Harrison went unconscious after hearing the news, dropping to the floor and earning himself a minor concussion, much to his sister's amusement
[image1-harrison-ice-pack.png]
@ynholland: "Don't worry, when you go into labour, I'll be with you every step of the way." Said Harrison Osterfield, then proceeded to pass out, get a minor concussion, and miss the whole delivery.😂 Good job, little bro👍
And just when you thought she couldn't get any better, she finishes her acceptance speech with: "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to deliver a baby, you know, just normal Saturday night stuff." We have no choice but to stan this iconic queen!
But for the news you've all been waiting for, Oscar Robert Holland (yes, the middle name is a homage to Robert Downey Jr. himself, we're not crying, you are!) was born just twelve hours later. Tom let know through a beautiful Instagram picture that he is in fact "perfectly healthy and loved by everyone already".
[image2-tom-and-oscar.png]
@tomholland2013: I present to you, my best creation to this date: Oscar Robert Holland. Thank you all for your prayers and kind messages, our boy is perfectly healthy and loved by everyone already❤️
But of course, Uncle Haz wouldn't stay behind.
[image3-haz-and-oscar.png]
@hazosterfield: Since I know you've all been worried sick and desperate to know how the baby is... I'm doing just fine, it's just a minor concussion :) Oh and my godson's great too.
And just to prove that the Osterfields are indeed the royal family of comedy, we leave with this wonderful picture posted to the happy mum's very own Instagram.
[image4-yn-and-oscars.png]
@ynholland: Guess I was so good they gave two Oscars instead of one ;)
-Written by Kaitlyn Storm
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so anyway, Two Sides of the Same Coin is a movie idea i got a while ago and should maybe try to write one of these days but oh well or something. anyway, i’m not gonna rant about it here cause it’d be too long but i hope you enjoyed this and don’t forget to like/comment/reblog if you feel like it!
-Love, Miah
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peachyteabuck · 4 years
Text
under cover of darkness
summary: a 24-hour convenience store, the night shift, and the man who gets you through day. 
a commission for @lovelycarose​
pairing: eliot spencer x reader
words: 5510
trigger warnings: mentions of a break-in with canon-level violence, fluff, mentions of an unspecified chronic pain disorder
ask box / masterlist / commission info / ko-fi
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There are some good things about the night shift. It’s easier to balance classes and your precarious mental health, plus the pay wasn’t terrible – a few extra bucks per hour were thrown your way after eleven and before five.
So you kept with it, one earbud in so you could listen to music while the hours ticked by at a pace so slow it felt like some supervillain had not only completely frozen time – but was also determined to thaw is at room temperature.
That was another thing about the night shift – the customers. It was mostly regulars, or tourists who forgot something at home but didn’t want to spend airport prices for a travel sized container of deodorant. None of them really stick out, none interesting enough to stick in your brain for long as you mindlessly pack their various items into white plastic bags.
That is, until he starts coming in. Tall and impossible big – it’s hard not to marvel at him as if he was a breathtaking skyscraper, like you had never seen something so magnificent. His flowing dark brown hair, his tight jeans…it’s all nearly too much for eleven-at-night-you. (Also for “I haven’t had sex in so long and I think I’ve eroded the ridges on my vibrator from using it so often and holy shit I would do anything to have that man under/above me” you, a you only made stronger and more desperate by how late it was and tired you were.)
He walks around with the confidence not often seen in newcomers, your eye used to college students too drunk to stand up perfectly straight. You’re used to people stumbling around with eyes-half closed, rubbing their temples as the bright white lights feel like cheese graters shaped like ice picks against their already hurting brains. You’re used to watching them stumble around, using some Neolithic instinct to find the cool fridges where they’ll rest their faces against the glass for an oddly long amount of time before opening it up to grab as many Gatorades as they could hold before attempting to grab one or two (or five) frozen pizzas, never able to access the higher order thinking necessary to understand that maybe grabbing one of the baskets by the entrance is important.
Or, on the other end of the spectrum you’ve come to know as normal: soccer moms searching for alcohol for their husband’s post-game barbecue. Moms with large dark circles under their eyes who probably read (and watched) the Fifty Shades movie unironically but still feels weird when their husbands suggest having sex in any position besides missionary with the lights off. Moms who went to college just to meet some mediocre-looking frat boy who votes Republican just because his father did and thinks thirty seconds of oral is enough foreplay.
They don’t spend as much time in the store as the drunk/high students, but it’s still just as entertaining watching them grab the food and drink – but not before lingering in the makeup aisle, staring at bold shades of red and waterproof mascara and the bright hair dye whose advertisements have terribly applied photoshop.
No matter the type – no matter the customer – they were nothing like the man who stood on the other side of the store, staring intently at your soft drink selection. None of them were beefy men with crumpled grocery lists, permanently furrowed brows, and the most beautiful five o’clock shadow you’ve ever seen. None of them wear thick black work boots that make not a single sound as they walk around the store, none of them wear jeans that are so criminally tight around a perfect ass.
Not even a perfect ass – the perfect ass. It’s symmetrical, looking as if it was drawn by a pin-up artist in the 50’s whose specialty involves drawing super buff men in poses meant for petite, slender women with perfect curves. As he walks you half expect sparks to form on his backside as if you were in some kind of Anime, or for each individual cheek to bounce up and down on their own asynchronous accord. Normally you’d be terrified of being caught staring – of him turning around and catching your eye and mocking someone like you for having the nerve to be attracted to him.
But that doesn’t happen, because for once in your life the universe is kind to you. For once in your life you’re allowed to listen to music and stare dreamily at the hot guy who checks the ingredients on every snack dip option you have available before choosing three different ones with a small, disappointed huff.
You watch him with that same silent intensity as he fills the bright red carrier he grabbed without a sound when he first strutted in, the packaging of the items crinkling being the only way to track his location when he steps out of your eyeline. If your boss wasn’t the one on security cameras you’d be angling all of them to follow him around the store, your eyes hungry for another look at him at whatever angle and whichever quality you could get. You feel like a fangirl obsessed with some boyband, your heart rate determined by the amount of the mountain of a man you can see between displays of holiday-themed candy and cheap make up.
You’re not sure how long it is before he’s approaching your counter (time appears to have lost all meaning the second he stepped into the store), but whether it had been five minutes or five years, he still takes your breath away. As he steps closer you realize he’s fucking massive – something your grandmother (a wonderful woman, but one lacking when social situations called for, among other things, any kind of brain-to-mouth filter) would call a “shit brickhouse.” He doesn’t even need one of the baskets as he prowls the aisles – scanning every item like a lion watches the Sahara through tall grass. It’s hard to look away, to go back to the book you’ve been trying to read the same page from since long before the little automated bell above the door had announced the man’s arrival – but the only distraction before had been the tiny, exhausted voice in the back of your mind that was shaming at you for not sleeping before the night’s shift.
Now, though, the voice has quieted to allow your tired eyes to follow him, pupils tracing along every inch of him.
The man checks out without a word; shaking his head when you ask if he has a rewards card and paying in cash. When you give him $7.26 in change, your hands touch for a brief moment and you nearly stop breathing – lungs suddenly void of their capacity to hold air as sparks fly from his callous fingertips to the bottom of your spine. He pulls away, eventually, because he has to – depositing the totality of the meager amount of money you’d just handed him into the donation box plastered with facts about victims of domestic violence right next to your register.
The box is made of an opaque deep purple plastic, the coins making a loud clink sound as they crash into the near-empty container. The man stares at it for a moment, swallowing an apparent lump in his throat as his eyes go blank for a fraction of a second before he digs into his pockets and fishes out a thick wad of perfectly folded five dollar bills before stuffing them into the hastily cut slot at the top.
Neither of you say anything as he does so, you too stunned by his generosity and him too occupied with making sure he had no more money hidden in his pockets to try and muster some vague capacity for speech. Still, as he turns and leaves, you cough to clear your throat and call out a loud and slightly hoarse “thank you!” to which he just turns and gives you a small smile in return.
The moment between the pair of you is fleeting but still makes your heart beat rapidly in your chest, swelling until your lungs feel tight against your ribs as you struggle to breathe. Fuck, you think. You haven’t felt like this since middle school when Jamie told you that your Katniss braid was adorable and you followed him around for two weeks until he agreed to take you on a “date” during lunch. You don’t even know this man’s name and you’re fawning over him as if you have another girlhood crush.
God, you need to learn his name.
Luckily, you find out the next time that his name is Eliot, even though the name embroidered in red above the right pocket of his dirtied coveralls says “Evan” in a fancy looped script (whatever, you don’t question it. You regularly wore your roommate’s sweatshirt from her alma mater even though you didn’t attend the university – must be the same thing, right?). That time all he buys is hair ties and chapstick – lots of hair ties and chapstick, just another thing you don’t question – but stays to talk with you about the Robert Frost poem you were annotating.
“Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening?” he reads aloud, smiling a little as he does so. “Is that for class, or…”
“It’s for class, but I’m liking it a lot more than the other obligatory readings for my degree,” you tell him a small laugh. “Do you enjoy poetry?”
Eliot shrugs as he grabs the full bags. “Oh, ya know. Just the occasional piece. You have a good day now.”
You smile as he walks toward the exit, butterflies pounding in your stomach once more. “You too!”
God, you think as he disappears from eyeshot. You’ve got it bad, girl.
He comes in again, irregular in each way except for the fact he arrives. Sometimes he’s clean cut, standing straight as he takes his sweet time wandering the store – as if he has nowhere to be, no need to rush around.
On those days, he buys a lot of things. Duct tape, orange soda, hair ties, sour candy in all shapes and colors. He makes conversation, asking about the book you’re reading or what you’re listening to, asking about your classes when you wear a jacket embroidered with your university’s logo on the front. On those days, he waits a little – even when all his items are bagged and there’s no real reason for him to stay – picking up on anything that would give him another thread of conversation to pull at.
“Something new?” he asks when you dogear one of the first few pages of a poetry book your friend had lent you.
“Yup!” you perk up just at the sight of him, cheery now more than you had been the entirety of the day now that he’s arrived. “Told a friend of mine about the assignment I was working on the last time you were here, and she shoved this anthology into my hands.”
You like those days – you look forward to them each time you step through the large door marked “EMPLOYEES ONLY” in large white letters that stand out against the incredibly depressing brown that’s been peeling since the day you interviewed here, spots covered sparsely by the maintenance guy who you’ve never seen. Those days are good, fun – they make you smile hours after he leaves and occupy your thoughts until you go to bed, sometimes even making it into the margins of your notebook when you’re zoning out in class.
Sometimes, though, he comes in nearly limping – at least one eye blackened and dark navy baseball cap pulled as far down his forehead as he can.
It scared you the first time, watching as he grunted with each step, every item he grabs from the shelves seeming like it pained him, his face scrunching into a wince each time he raises an arm above his ribs. You checked his items (bandages, ice packs, gauze, antifungal cream, a few first aid kits) with bated breath, terrified of making his mood worse.
It isn’t until you tell him the total, until you finally look up from your hands – that you finally look him in the eyes. They’re always warm like plate of freshly baked macaroni and cheese (and always make you feel just as gooey), but now appear to be clouded with a type of pain you can’t pin down. He doesn’t say much – or anything – as you bag his items, placing them gingerly into the paper bag as if it was an extension of him.
You try to keep a happy face throughout the entire ordeal, not wanting to push him in case what happened was particularly bad. Eliot gives you a similarly small, but earnest one in return – even if he barely hides the wince in his side as he does so.
But that was the first time things seemed a little off – your first time, specifically – and the others get easier as time passes.
At first, “easier” meant a return to days similar to the good ones – telling him things about your day as you ring up all his first-aid related items. He doesn’t respond with as much enthusiasm, doesn’t have the same witty banter – but gives you a small smile that you recognize nonetheless. But then, as the weeks bleed into months, you learn how to handle both the terrible days, the bad days, and the good days all the same.
It’s on one of the good days that he buys tampons, a piece of every kind of chocolate item you sell, and enough Acetaminophen to knock out a horse.
“Your girlfriend is very lucky,” you tell him, blushing as you bag the items. For a minute you think you’ve embarrassed him, crossed some line as a sickening silence grows between you two like mold on two-week old leftovers in a fridge that was turned off. It’s just as disgusting, too, which is why you’re so happy that he still gives you a small smile when you dare look up from where your scanner’s red line centers on the barcode of one of the tampon boxes.
“Nah, just,” Eliot’s plump lips look so kissable it makes your heart pick up. “A roommate, uh. She needs this. Her boyfriend is doing some game night thing and couldn’t pick it up. So I, uh. I got drafted.”
You give a little snort as you grab the receipt, smiling wide as you place it in the bag. “Well, your roommate is very lucky to have you.”
Eliot laughs as he grabs his stuff, cheeks heating up as he blushes. “Can I kidnap you for a little while so you can come remind her of that?”
In a rare moment of confidence, you lean forward and grin. “Is it kidnapping if I want it?”
The blush rages as he sputters a response, eyes downcast as he turns to leave. You get no witty response back, but the way he turns to wink at you as the automatic doors part is enough of a rebuttal for you to feel satisfied with your quip.
No matter what kind of mood Eliot is in, you look forward to his visits, watching and talking with him. Each evening you get ready for work you wondered if he would come in that night, if you would be able to tell him about the dumb thing this guy in one of your seminars said, or how you won an argument during bar crawl over the weekend using some of the random things he had taught you during the very conversations you now wish to have with him. It’s nice, the nicest thing you have in a long time – and somehow that doesn’t scare you, and somehow that makes you feel even better each time you see him.
But then “The Day” happens, and it changes everything.
The evening of “The Day” you woke up from your pre-work nap with this unexplainable feeling that something was going to go wrong. This feeling deep in the bottom of your stomach that you can’t quite place, one that makes the back of your knees sweat and where your ribs feel just a little tighter. Each and every sound – the cars that drive way too fast down your street, the creaking in your house, the dogs that bark obnoxiously – seem loudly, harsher than usual. When you sit up in bed when your alarm goes off it’s like you can feel the muscles in your back contract, feel the bones in your joints grind against each other. There’s some electricity in the air like when it’s right before a storm – only the sky is clear and your weather app doesn’t predict any rain until next week (and, even then, it’s only a drizzle).
At first you think it’s just a bad pain day; not bad enough to keep you home, or make you forget even the idea of doing anything besides groaning in pain in your bed and taking as many pain medications as your doctor says you’re able to. Still, it’s quite noticeable, and occupies your thoughts as you go through each part of your pre-work routine. Even as you shower, turn on your coffee pot, do the minimal make up required to make it look like you didn’t just roll out of bed or are some Victorian orphan plagued by tuberculosis and possibly a deep sadness embodied by the terrible weather that crashes outside their overcrowded London orphanage – you can’t seem to get rid of the proverbial dark cloud that settles itself between your brain and skull, clouding your thoughts and making your stomach hurt just a little.
It doesn’t get better when you get into work, either. There’s a tenseness in the air you can practically taste – electricity in the air that settles over your skin and makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up straighter than the carefully constructed sales display of some B-list celebrity’s nail polish collection, the one you spent hours fussing over during one of your very rare day shifts. It somehow only gets worse when Eliot arrives, whistling some tune that normally would be wistful and happy, but given the context sounds like something straight from a horror movie trailer that invades your otherwise-sweet daydreams for weeks to come; one of those songs that everyone knows but no one knows the name of that sounds really creepy when played slowly over a clip of some old, beat-up doll being held by an adorable little blonde girl with black-out contacts in.
You don’t tell him to stop, but the tune does slow when he notices your tense state when he passes to get to the soft drink aisle. When he gives you a questioning look you just shrug, hoping he forgets (or finds it in himself not to ask) about it by the time he finds what he needs. Judging by the song, lack of list, and spring in his step – it’s a good day, one where he intends to meander around the store and grab whatever it is catches his attention. Today that appears to be anything with sugar, most notably soda in every color but orange.
At some point he finds his way closer to you – more specifically he finds his way to the chocolate aisle, which faces your register – and strikes up a conversation. It’s just small talk, and doesn’t do much to distract you from the twisting in your gut, but you appreciate his efforts nonetheless. The small talk just feels like a dead-end – a polite road to nowhere that feels pointless to engage in. Still, it’s Eliot, so you give half-hearted answers and ask half-hearted questions and hope he doesn’t press you too hard on your slightly-sour mood.
And, because it’s Eliot, he draws a few small laughs and a couple of tiny smiles and it’s…nice. It’s not the usual “Good Day,” but it’s not a bad one, either.
But then it happens. And it happens quick – all of it.
Three men, dressed head to toe in black, enter guns a blazing as if they own the place. They’re wearing masks over everywhere but their eyes, the thick, black material likely silencing their voices if they weren’t screaming at the top of their lungs.
They enter in an oddly-triangular formation – one you’d describe akin to the Charlie’s Angel’s post if you weren’t scared out of your fucking mind. One of them runs to the aisle where you keep cold medicine, the other ransacking the liquor aisle and shoving heavy glass bottles of your most expensive bottles of alcohol into the black duffel bag slung around his shoulder. The last one – the one you think is the leader – keeps his eye on you as he steps closer to where you are at the register.
It’s the scariest fucking thing to ever happen to you, and what occurs next happens too fast for you to describe.
You blink once and find that you’re staring down the barrel of a handgun that’s definitely loaded and definitely has the safety off. The end shakes just a little, as if the robber is nervous, and you wonder why he’s the one scared. Both of your hands are up in the air, elbow bent at a ninety-degree angle while sweat pools at your brow and your bottom lip trembles. It’s the most terrified you’ve ever been in your entire life, and if you had enough in your stomach you throw up, you totally would’ve.
But then – Eliot.
You’re screaming at him to stop, to get away and hide and what are you doing? They’ve got a gun! Get away! You could be hurt! Eliot!
But then you realize that, holy shit, he’s actually taking the guy down. Holy shit, Eliot just punched that dude in the face. Holy shit, Eliot just punched that dude in the gut. Holy shit, Eliot just disarmed that dude while punching him.
It’s only when the guy that targeted you is screaming in pain from a dislocated shoulder that the other two realize something’s up and come rushing towards the man that stands just in front of your register. You’d scream if you weren’t stunned – eyes not sure where to look as Eliot disarms them with the grace of a professional ballet dancer at the same fucking time. He’s fierce but controlled – not breaking any bones but definitely leaving some bruises as he knocks them to the ground and kicks their guns across the carpet.  
It’s then – when the inferior robbers are writhing in pain on the ground – that he grabs the leader by the collar of his black hoodie and pulls the teenager’s wincing face close to Eliot’s raging one.
“I will give you one warning,” he hisses, teeth bared like an angered wolf as he spits. “one warning to leave this place and never come back. If this,” his left hand raises to gesture to you in all your petrified glory. “Nice lady tells me that you have returned to so much as buy a single stick of gum, I will track you down and find you and make sure you pay for the damage you’ve done here today. You got that?”
The still-masked teenager immediately nods furiously, eyes wide with terror and legs already kicking at the ground to leave.
Eliot gives a small, faux smile, and shoves the kid back down onto the ground with enough force to knock the wind out of him. “Good, now get the Hell out of here and don’t come back.”
Without hesitation, the would-be robbers scatter as fast as their damaged legs can carry them, clutching their bags to their chests as they rush to their crappy getaway van.
If you weren’t scared shitless you’d admit you’re a little turned on at the feat, especially as Eliot flips his hair from his face as he watches them speed away.
Your boss appears a few seconds later, apparently one more to watch from his safe room in the back than to interfere. Thank Heavens Eliot was here, you think. Facing those three kids on your own – even if they were, indeed, kids – makes your blood pressure spike once more.
“Should I call the cops?” he asks, looking at the wreckage around the store. The only silent alarm is located under the counter where the register is and, given your petrified state, you weren’t one to trip it.
Eliot just sighs and shakes his head, kicking a broken bottle of whiskey that for sure was going to stain the carpet. “No, they can’t do much – those kids probably don’t have a record and I don’t think you’ll get much out of ‘em if they do find the bastards. They’re young, broke, and I don’t know how much priority your case will be given.”
Your boss sighs, rubbing his face. It’s not as if they stole more than a few hundred dollars’ worth of merchandise, but being the victim of a robbery is still both tiring and rage-inducing – especially when someone like him has gone so long without incident.  “But, I, what am I supposed to do? I just-“
Eliot grabs his wallet from his back pocket, reaching into it to fish out a small, professional-looking business card that he hands to your boss. “Call the number there come sun rise and tell them Eliot referred you. They’ll help you out with whatever you need.”
The man who signs your paychecks furrows his brow and reads the block print allowed. “Leverage, Incorporated? They can help me replace what I lost?”
Eliot nods, placing a comforting hand on your boss’ shoulder. “Everything.”
Immediately the man nods and steps away to go out the back exit, leaving you and Eliot in the center of it all.
It’s then – just as you’re alone – where the sun’s just coming up and the large windows in the shop allow its warm light to bath the both of you in a beautiful soft orange. There are no other customers there, and with your boss preoccupied with calming himself down, it really does feel like it’s just you and Eliot – just the two of you with the whole world still asleep around you. It’s nice, perfect.
He’s the one to break the silence, voice gruff as he flashes you a small, shy grin. “So, uh…you want to go for coffee?”
Your heart rams in your chest even louder than when you were staring the possibility of a gunshot wound to the face, the poor organ exhausted as your brain screams at you to accept his generous offer. It takes what feels like an eternity to muster up the courage to do so, but before you can Eliot’s already speaking once more.
“Not that you, uh,” he clears his throat. “Not that you should feel, uh, pressured, or anything. I just mean like, hey, you worked all night and just went through a pretty rough event, and you’re probably tired, and probably pretty hungry as well, and a coffee place just opened up a street away that I’ve heard good things about. I’ve wanted to try it out, for a while actually, and I wanted to, uh, see if I’d have the honor of you joining me…”
“Eliot,” you laugh as you step closer, placing your hand on his face to guide his eyes to yours. “Don’t be stupid. I’d love to go with you,” he smiles and it warms every bit of you. “Just let me grab my bag and clock out, I’ll meet you outside in a moment.”
He sputters through an “okay, sure, yeah,” before you both turn to leave – him out the front doors and you behind the large one your boss had just been hidden behind. Your hands shake just a little as you insert the little card into the dinosaur of a machine, the loud noise and sputtering sound it makes now white noise as you grab your purse and rejoin him outside.
When you arrive at the coffee shop (aptly named “The Bean Spot”) you order a caramel latte with a cheese Danish, Eliot getting a simple black coffee with cream along with a walnut muffin. You wait for your breakfast in relative silence, neither you nor Eliot sure what to say after such an event. When the food and drink are handed over to you, you find a spot tucked in the back with an excellent view of the whole place.
The coffee shop is nearly empty since it’s still so early in the morning – the only patrons coming in, getting their coffee, and zipping off to the next part of their day. It’s nice to be the only inert thing, the movements of the people around you providing a nice cover as they zip past, locking you and Eliot in your own little world as the world stretches its arms and prepares for another day of hustle and bustle.
By contrast, you and Eliot are wide awake, laughing as you swap horrible roommate stories and whatever else comes to mind. He asks about your degree but has enough class not to ask you about your graduation year (a rare feature of conversations these days), talking to you about all the books you’ve read and professors you’ve liked.  
It’s odd – not bad, per say – but odd nonetheless, to be able to talk freely and openly and having him in front of you, within arm’s length as your knees barely touch under the small table. Seeing him in this space, a space more conducive to conversation and watching his hands as they pick at his blueberry scone and watching his mouth as the corners of his lips twist into a smile every so often and watching –
You blush at your own serial-killer-like thoughts, trying to suppress them with another sip of way too expensive but totally worth it coffee.
Eliot notices, because of course he does. “Hey, you alright?”
You nod, trying to calm your racing heartbeat. “Y-yeah, just-“
He smiles warmly, one hand moving to cradle your chin – to guide your downcast eyes to his. “It’s weird, seeing me in a new place, isn’t it?”
Once again, you nod. “It’s not that I don’t-“
“It’s okay,” his smile widens even as he now avoids your gaze, his hands moving to his lap as he fiddles with them. “It’s…I understand. Trust me, I get it.”
You exhale deeply, your shoulders falling a little. “I’ve thought a lot about this moment for, like, since you walked into the store for the first time…to have you here,” you gestured vaguely to the rest of the coffee shop, to the very few customers and baristas chatting about something you can’t hear and don’t care to pay attention to. “It’s…I don’t know. It’s not as if you’ve fallen short of expectations-“
Eliot gives a little chuckle, mumbling an “I sure hope so” with a glimmer in his eye that makes you want to jump on his lap and kiss him right there. Somehow, you find it in you to continue.
“It’s just super, super weird,” you tell him honestly. “And I don’t like it.”
The man in front of you leans forward, placing a hand over yours to calm you down.  
“How about we get out of here,” Eliot murmurs, voice warm and thick like the caramel drizzle over your latte. “I have an espresso machine at my place, and could make you homemade baked goods a million times better than whatever you bought, and we can continue this in a space where the baristas don’t misspell my name on overpriced coffee.”
He gestures to the cup labeled Elliott, wincing as he does so. It makes you laugh, and you nod in agreement. Together you down the coffee and throw the empty cups along with the wrapping for your pastry away. It’s natural – the way the two of you move – as if you’ve known each other for a millennia, as if whatever it is between you two that’s formed is already as strong and sturdy as an oak tree.
Eliot places one of his large hands on the small of your back as you exit the cafe, thumbing at the fabric of your sweater as you wait to cross the street. It’s comforting – just a flash of the fire that he started for you back at the store a mere hours earlier, heat warming your blood from your toes and up your spine. As he guides you to his apartment his hand finds yours, his fingers fitting neatly next to yours as he points out parts of the city you’ve never slowed down enough to see.
You may not have known Eliot for very long, but even within that short amount of time (and even shorter conversations) he had become a safe house for you, one that you could easily make a home.
And, unbeknownst to the other person, the both of you intended on doing just that.
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Fifty (50)Toxic People Quotes To Help You Develop Boundaries .
If you’ve recognized you need to set limits with people in your life, these toxic people quotes will help you do just that.
We all have toxic people in our lives who can’t be avoided. It could be a friend, family member, or a coworker whom you just can’t stand.
Their toxicity manifests in a lot of different ways. Maybe they are full of interpersonal issues, are needy and disrespectful, or maybe they try to manipulate and control you, and are extremely critical of themselves and other people. Whatever the case, dealing with toxic people isn’t easy.
If you are often made uncomfortable by how those around you treat you, maybe it’s time to set and maintain personal boundaries. Clear boundaries that will help ensure your relationships are mutually respectful, supportive and caring. You deserve to be treated well.
It’s time to establish boundaries in your life for negative people, and these toxic people quotes are the necessary first step. They will inspire you to set the limits for acceptable behavior from those around you and help you avoid getting too close to people who don’t have your best interests at heart.
Toxic people can only upset you if you let them upset you. Recognize and distance yourself from their behavior. And when interacting with them, focus on the positive.
Below is our collection of inspirational, wise, and thoughtful, toxic people quotes, toxic people sayings, and toxic people proverbs, collected from a variety of sources over the years.
Toxic People Quotes To Help You Develop Boundaries
1.) “If it comes, let it come. If it goes, it’s ok, let it go. Let things come and go. Stay calm, don’t let anything disturb your peace, and carry on.” ― Germany Kent
2,) “It’s amazing how quickly things can turn around when you remove toxic people from your life.” — Robert Tew
3.) “You create more space in your life when you turn your excess baggage to garbage.” ― Chinonye J. Chidolue
4.) “Pay no attention to toxic words. What people say is often a reflection of themselves, not you.” ― Christian Baloga
5.) “Letting go of toxic people in your life is a big step in loving yourself.” – Hussein Nishah
6.) “Don’t let toxic people infect you with the fearof giving and receiving one of the most powerful forces in this world… LOVE!”― Yvonne Pierre
7.) “Don’t let negative and toxic people rent space in your head. Raise the rent and kick them out.” — Robert Tew
8.) “You lift your spirits by moving away from what upsets you. If the stove is hot, you can’t ask how to touch it but be happy about it.” ― Queen Tourmaline
9.) “If a person finds negative people in his life, then he needs to mend his own nature than that of others, for his own basic grounding decides the level of acidic or toxicity surrounding him.” — Anuj Somany
10.) “Toxic people will pollute everything around them. Don’t hesitate. Fumigate.” ― Mandy Hale
Toxic people quotes to inspire healthy self-respect
11.) “There’s folks you just don’t need. You’re better off without em. Your life is just a little better because they ain’t in it.” ― William Gay
12.) “There are people who break you down by just being them. They need not do anything. Dissociate” ― Malebo Sephodi
13.) “Every day you must unlearn the ways that hold you back. You must rid yourself of negativity, so you can learn to fly.” — Leon Brown
14.) “We all have those toxic people around us that make our lives miserable… The day we take them out from our lives, we will all become better people; including them…” ― Rodolfo Peon
15.) “Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.” — Deborah Reber
16.) “How you choose to feel today should not be dependent on others.” ― Anthon St. Maarten
17.) “May you reach that level within, where you no longer allow your past or people with toxic intentions to negatively affect or condition you.” ― Lalah Delia
18.) “Surround yourself with positive people who believe in your dreams, encourage your ideas, support your ambitions, and bring out the best in you.” — Roy Bennett
19.) “Let negative people live their negative lives with their negative minds.”― Moosa Rahat
20.) “Toxic people attach themselves like cinder blocks tied to your ankles, and then invite you for a swim in their poisoned waters.” ― John Mark Green
Quotes about toxic friends, family and relationships
21.) “As you remove toxic people from your life, you free up space and emotional energy for positive, healthy relationships.” ― John Mark Green
22.) “I have found the best way to deal with a toxic person is to not respond in any other way than monotone voice and a businesslike manner.” ― Jen Grice
23.) “Weeding out the harmful influences should become the norm not the exception.” ― Carlos Wallace
24.) “You will find that it is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy. So let them go, let go of them. I tie no weights to my ankles.” — C. JoyBell C.
25.) “We teach people how to treat us.” – Dr. Phil
26.) “Sometimes it’s better to end something & try to start something new than imprison yourself in hoping for the impossible.” – Karen Salmansohn
27.) “People appear like angels until you hear them speak. You must not rush to judge people by the color of their cloaks, but by the content of their words!” ― Israelmore Ayivor
28.) “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too can become great.” — Mark Twain
29.) “Look around you at the people you spend the most time with and realize that your life can’t rise any higher than your friendships.” ― Mandy Hale
30.) “Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings, and emotions.” — Will Smith
Toxic people quotes to help you set and maintain boundaries
31.) “When people pressure you to engage in negative decisions and actions, look at them boldly in the eyes and dare them to do good.” ― Edmond Mbiaka
32.) “Don’t ever stop believing in your own transformation. It is still happening even on days you may not realize it or feel like it.” ― Lalah Delia
33.) “Letting go means to come to the realization that some people are a part of your history, but not a part of your destiny.” — Dr. Steve Maraboli
34.) “If a negative viewer looks at you with an ugly fiendish eye, find a way and pluck off his eyes, or better still, protect your good image.” ― Michael Bassey Johnson
35.) “People inspire you, or they drain you. Pick them wisely.” — Hans F. Hasen
36.) “Save your skin from the corrosive acids from the mouths of toxic people. Someone who just helped you to speak evil about another person can later help another person to speak evil about you.” ― Israelmore Ayivor
37.) “I will not allow anyone to walk in my mind with dirty feet.” – Mahatma Gandhi
38.) “Some people are in such utter darkness that they will burn you just to see a light. Try not to take it personally.” ― Kamand Kojouri
39.) “We do not have to be mental health professionals to identify the traits of the possible sociopaths among us.” ― P.A. Speers
40.) “These are the attributes of Bullshit people; they will…blur your imagination, take your endowments for a piece of debris, make you ridiculous, and most importantly, you got to send them to the recycle bin.” ― Michael Bassey Johnson
Toxic people quotes to help you deal with negativity
41.) “Don’t let people get the best of you they can say what they want but don’t let that distract you from achieving your goals.” ― Alcurtis Turner
42.) “Until you let go of all the toxic people in your life you will never be able to grow into your fullest potential. Let them go so you can grow.” – DLQ
43.) “The friends who would forsake you for choosing to live a positive life, would also leave you if you find yourself going through some painful consequences due to some negative decisions and actions.” ― Edmond Mbiaka
44.) “You cannot expect to live a positive life if you hang with negative people.” — Joel Osteen
45.) “We don’t get to choose our family, but we can choose our friends. With courage, we can weed out narcissistic people. We can focus on those who do appreciate us, love us, and treat us with respect.” ― Dana Arcuri
46.) “If they do it often, it isn’t a mistake; it’s just their behavior.” — Dr. Steve Maraboli
47.) “My encouragement: delete the energy vampires from your life, clean out all complexity, build a team around you that frees you to fly, remove anything toxic, and cherish simplicity. Because that’s where genius lives.” — Robin S. Sharma
48.) “Someone who smiles too much with you can sometime frown too much with you at your back.” ― Michael Bassey Johnson
49.) “It is really exhausting to live in a dictatorship of ‘Me’, which is basically a tyranny of others.” ― Stefan Molyneux
50.) “Let go of negative people. They only show up to share complaints, problems, disastrous stories, fear, and judgment on others. If somebody is looking for a bin to throw all their trash into, make sure it’s not in your mind.” – Dalai Lama
Which of these toxic people quotes was your favorite?
Sometimes you find yourself with a friend, family member, or a partner who is really difficult to get along with. When you’re around them, you feel degraded or manipulated. Dealing with such people is never easy so you should find ways to tune out the toxicity that can’t be avoided.
Don’t invest too much time or effort with toxic people. They don’t deserve your mental energy. Hopefully, the toxic people quotes above will help you deal with such negative people.
How did you find these toxic people quotes? Do you have any other inspirational quotes to add to the list? Let us know in the comment section below. Also, don’t forget to share with your friends and followers.
If you’ve recognized you need to set limits with people in your life, these toxic people quotes will help you do just that.
We all have toxic people in our lives who can’t be avoided. It could be a friend, family member, or a coworker whom you just can’t stand.
Their toxicity manifests in a lot of different ways. Maybe they are full of interpersonal issues, are needy and disrespectful, or maybe they try to manipulate and control you, and are extremely critical of themselves and other people. Whatever the case, dealing with toxic people isn’t easy.
If you are often made uncomfortable by how those around you treat you, maybe it’s time to set and maintain personal boundaries. Clear boundaries that will help ensure your relationships are mutually respectful, supportive and caring. You deserve to be treated well.
It’s time to establish boundaries in your life for negative people, and these toxic people quotes are the necessary first step. They will inspire you to set the limits for acceptable behavior from those around you and help you avoid getting too close to people who don’t have your best interests at heart.
Toxic people can only upset you if you let them upset you. Recognize and distance yourself from their behavior. And when interacting with them, focus on the positive.
Below is our collection of inspirational, wise, and thoughtful, toxic people quotes, toxic people sayings, and toxic people proverbs, collected from a variety of sources over the years.
Toxic People Quotes To Help You Develop Boundaries
1.) “If it comes, let it come. If it goes, it’s ok, let it go. Let things come and go. Stay calm, don’t let anything disturb your peace, and carry on.” ― Germany Kent
2,) “It’s amazing how quickly things can turn around when you remove toxic people from your life.” — Robert Tew
3.) “You create more space in your life when you turn your excess baggage to garbage.” ― Chinonye J. Chidolue
4.) “Pay no attention to toxic words. What people say is often a reflection of themselves, not you.” ― Christian Baloga
5.) “Letting go of toxic people in your life is a big step in loving yourself.” – Hussein Nishah
6.) “Don’t let toxic people infect you with the fearof giving and receiving one of the most powerful forces in this world… LOVE!”― Yvonne Pierre
7.) “Don’t let negative and toxic people rent space in your head. Raise the rent and kick them out.” — Robert Tew
8.) “You lift your spirits by moving away from what upsets you. If the stove is hot, you can’t ask how to touch it but be happy about it.” ― Queen Tourmaline
9.) “If a person finds negative people in his life, then he needs to mend his own nature than that of others, for his own basic grounding decides the level of acidic or toxicity surrounding him.” — Anuj Somany
10.) “Toxic people will pollute everything around them. Don’t hesitate. Fumigate.” ― Mandy Hale
Toxic people quotes to inspire healthy self-respect
11.) “There’s folks you just don’t need. You’re better off without em. Your life is just a little better because they ain’t in it.” ― William Gay
12.) “There are people who break you down by just being them. They need not do anything. Dissociate” ― Malebo Sephodi
13.) “Every day you must unlearn the ways that hold you back. You must rid yourself of negativity, so you can learn to fly.” — Leon Brown
14.) “We all have those toxic people around us that make our lives miserable… The day we take them out from our lives, we will all become better people; including them…” ― Rodolfo Peon
15.) “Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.” — Deborah Reber
16.) “How you choose to feel today should not be dependent on others.” ― Anthon St. Maarten
17.) “May you reach that level within, where you no longer allow your past or people with toxic intentions to negatively affect or condition you.” ― Lalah Delia
18.) “Surround yourself with positive people who believe in your dreams, encourage your ideas, support your ambitions, and bring out the best in you.” — Roy Bennett
19.) “Let negative people live their negative lives with their negative minds.”― Moosa Rahat
20.) “Toxic people attach themselves like cinder blocks tied to your ankles, and then invite you for a swim in their poisoned waters.” ― John Mark Green
Quotes about toxic friends, family and relationships
21.) “As you remove toxic people from your life, you free up space and emotional energy for positive, healthy relationships.” ― John Mark Green
22.) “I have found the best way to deal with a toxic person is to not respond in any other way than monotone voice and a businesslike manner.” ― Jen Grice
23.) “Weeding out the harmful influences should become the norm not the exception.” ― Carlos Wallace
24.) “You will find that it is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy. So let them go, let go of them. I tie no weights to my ankles.” — C. JoyBell C.
25.) “We teach people how to treat us.” – Dr. Phil
26.) “Sometimes it’s better to end something & try to start something new than imprison yourself in hoping for the impossible.” – Karen Salmansohn
27.) “People appear like angels until you hear them speak. You must not rush to judge people by the color of their cloaks, but by the content of their words!” ― Israelmore Ayivor
28.) “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too can become great.” — Mark Twain
29.) “Look around you at the people you spend the most time with and realize that your life can’t rise any higher than your friendships.” ― Mandy Hale
30.) “Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings, and emotions.” — Will Smith
Toxic people quotes to help you set and maintain boundaries
31.) “When people pressure you to engage in negative decisions and actions, look at them boldly in the eyes and dare them to do good.” ― Edmond Mbiaka
32.) “Don’t ever stop believing in your own transformation. It is still happening even on days you may not realize it or feel like it.” ― Lalah Delia
33.) “Letting go means to come to the realization that some people are a part of your history, but not a part of your destiny.” — Dr. Steve Maraboli
34.) “If a negative viewer looks at you with an ugly fiendish eye, find a way and pluck off his eyes, or better still, protect your good image.” ― Michael Bassey Johnson
35.) “People inspire you, or they drain you. Pick them wisely.” — Hans F. Hasen
36.) “Save your skin from the corrosive acids from the mouths of toxic people. Someone who just helped you to speak evil about another person can later help another person to speak evil about you.” ― Israelmore Ayivor
37.) “I will not allow anyone to walk in my mind with dirty feet.” – Mahatma Gandhi
38.) “Some people are in such utter darkness that they will burn you just to see a light. Try not to take it personally.” ― Kamand Kojouri
39.) “We do not have to be mental health professionals to identify the traits of the possible sociopaths among us.” ― P.A. Speers
40.) “These are the attributes of Bullshit people; they will…blur your imagination, take your endowments for a piece of debris, make you ridiculous, and most importantly, you got to send them to the recycle bin.” ― Michael Bassey Johnson
Toxic people quotes to help you deal with negativity
41.) “Don’t let people get the best of you they can say what they want but don’t let that distract you from achieving your goals.” ― Alcurtis Turner
42.) “Until you let go of all the toxic people in your life you will never be able to grow into your fullest potential. Let them go so you can grow.” – DLQ
43.) “The friends who would forsake you for choosing to live a positive life, would also leave you if you find yourself going through some painful consequences due to some negative decisions and actions.” ― Edmond Mbiaka
44.) “You cannot expect to live a positive life if you hang with negative people.” — Joel Osteen
45.) “We don’t get to choose our family, but we can choose our friends. With courage, we can weed out narcissistic people. We can focus on those who do appreciate us, love us, and treat us with respect.” ― Dana Arcuri
46.) “If they do it often, it isn’t a mistake; it’s just their behavior.” — Dr. Steve Maraboli
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The Last Dragon | Witcher & Game of Thrones
Chapter 6 | Silver Towers Turned to Dust
Summary: Visenya Targaryen is the eldest and only surviving child of Rhaegar Targaryen and Elia Martell. When Robert Baratheon’s rebellion was won, instead of being slaughtered by the Mountain like her mother and siblings, she was saved by Ned Stark and taken as his ward. Years later, after she’s killed at the Red Wedding, she wakes up outside Blaviken. Now she finds her destiny intertwined with the White Wolf on her quest to go back home.
Word Count: 7,465
Note: Click here to read the previous chapters ♡
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The road winds and turns ahead of Visenya, like a labyrinth that never ends. The sun bathes everything beneath it in a soft glow warm, the miles upon miles of farm fields surrounding the road basking in its radiance. Fields of overgrown grass tinged gold by the sun act as the walls around the dirt road, swaying lazily in the breeze. Yet the sun is deceiving, a chill hangs in the air, causing any travelers Visenya passes to bundle themselves further into their cloak. However, Visenya finds herself no longer affected by the cold. The fire that laid dormant just under Visenya’s skin since waking up in Blaviken furiously fighting the cold in the wind. It bubbled just under the surface, enough for her to sense it but calm enough to not cause any harm.
She’s been walking for days, mindlessly following the road, allowing the winds to guide her to her next destination. Six days. It’s been six days since the catastrophe that is Blaviken happened. And despite her best efforts, Visenya can’t seem to forget about it, no matter how hard she tries, it lingers in the back of her mind. 
Every night when she lays down to go to sleep, kept company by only the stars and the trees around her, Visenya can hear the screams of the people burning alive. They echo in her mind, coming together in a sick melody, the tones grating and harsh. When she closes her eyes, even for a brief second, she can see them, their images clear enough that she could taste the fear in the air. She’d watch them burn, performing a dance of fire and blood, the personification of what House Targaryen stands for. 
But the worst part isn’t the memories following her, haunting her like ghosts. It isn’t the regret and pain she feels whenever she remembers the terrible faint she bestowed upon them. No, the worst part is she didn’t care. Even on the hardest days, when she was too stuck in her melancholy she didn’t care. Their faces were fleeting, their lives unimportant, and their potential non-existent to Visenya. 
She knows she committed mass murder in same way her grandfather did and she feels nothing. Nothing but a dark obsession with the fire she created. 
So she runs. She locks away Blaviken in the same spot the Starks, her mother and siblings, and her own life reside. 
To the left the grass rustles, breaking Visenya from her thoughts. Turning her head, she sees nothing but tall golden grass lazily swaying in the breeze; no animal or bandit preparing to ambush a lone traveller. Her eyes narrow, surveying the area one last time. A pit rests in her stomach as anxiety creeps into her mind. And as her hackles raise, so does the fire inside of her, ready to incinerate any potential attacker. But there wasn’t anything there. She rotates her body, looking in all directions hoping to spot whatever was the cause of her sudden dread. Subconsciously, her hand rests atop the pommel of her blade, readying herself to unsheathe it in a moment's notice. 
But even as her keen eyes focus on the surrounding area, taking in every minor detail, she sees nothing out of the ordinary. 
A second passes and she's about to turn around and continue towards the nearby inn.
Crunch. 
She turns to her right, ready to unleash hellish fury on the cloaked figure standing before her. She raises her blade and brings it down towards them. The figure manages to nimbly dodge out of the way. In another fluid, motion Visenya strikes, however the blow never manages to make impact, as a blunt object makes contact with the back of her head. And as her body falls to the ground, another figure approaches. Black blotches dot her vision as the figure pulls down their hood, revealing wheat gold hair, sun kissed skin with freckles dotting their cheeks, and pointed ears. 
The person, man or woman, she can’t tell - speaks to another person. The language is light and musical and completely foreign to Visenya. Her ashen brows furrow and she tries to speak, but the words get caught in her throat. So she tries again, this time managing a pitiful whine that sounds more like a dying animal than a person. 
The figure's attention darts back to Visenya, an alarmed expression painted on his face. He says something else to the other person and then turns back to Visenya.
“Get some rest why don’t you,” A moment later, Visenya watches as the pommel of a dagger cracks on the top of her head, rendering her unconscious. 
                                                    o0o0o0o
It’s cold, that much is obvious, so obvious Visenya - who never gets cold anymore - notices it. Not the type of cold Winterfell bestowed upon its inhabitants, pelting them in its relentless bitter chill and glistening snow that would freeze a man to death without hesitation. No, it’s a different type of cold, the one that can only come from pain and suffering that’s so strong it bleeds into the air and syphons any joy until all that’s left is frigid air that’s still like a statue. 
She doesn’t hear anything, not even the distant sounds of footsteps or voices that slowly trickle into the room. It’s completely silent. The walls in the room are made of stone, with tiny rays of light pouring through the small windows. The ground beneath her is cold and wet, either stone or dirt - she isn’t sure. 
And for a moment Visenya thinks she could be dead, that her attacker put more force into their strike than originally realized, but dead people wouldn’t be tied up. Her hands clench, feeling the rough rope that binds her wrists, it’s frayed and old, but tied tight. 
She turns her head slightly to the right, seeing a head full of bright white hair and a wolf pendant hanging from his neck.
“Geralt.” Her voice sounds like it hadn’t been used in days, which is possible. Who knows how much time has passed.
She feels a surge of anger rushing through her, images of Renfri’s dead body lying on the ground, blood pouring from the fatal wound on her neck. And for a second she contemplates screaming and yelling at Geralt, scorning him for what he’s done. But as soon as it appears, the feeling fades, ice cold water pouring over the fire in her veins.  
“Jane.” Geralt replies, turning his head so he’s looking at her. His amber eyes stare at Visenya, brows furrowed. “What are you doing here?” 
And just like that the spell was over. Like water breaking through a dam, ambient noise streams into the room, filling Visenya’s ears with distant shouts and feet pounding. And the air… the air feels less dead.
“I don’t know, I was traveling to a nearby inn when I was ambushed. Same as you it would seem.” She turns to her left to try and get a look at their third companion who’s knocked out cold. His skin is pale like ice, but not as luminous or enrapturing, floppy brown hair that looks well washed and conditioned obscures his face. Bright blues and reds color his clothes that are ostentatious and impractical for travel, with sleeves that are slightly puffed at the shoulders. 
Definitely not a warrior. 
Geralt starts jerking to the left and right, attempting to free his arms from the bindings locking them in place. Combined with the sudden movement and grunts of frustration he’s letting out, the man wakes up. His lolling head shoots up, his eyes fantcally surveying the room. They land on Visenya for a moment, his eyes the same shade of blue as his shirt, before they flit to the corner of his vision. He lets out a small sigh of relief, his tense posture physically deflating as he leans against Geralt’s back. 
“This is the part where we escape.” he says. Any panic or fear that he initially showed upon waking up is gone, replaced with a sense of ease and confidence. But not in his abilities, no, he seems positive Geralt will get them out of this mess. 
Visenya can’t help the snort that leaves her mouth. 
“This is the part where they kill us!” Geralt exclaims, not amused by the man behind him. 
“Who’s they?” Visenya asks, hoping one of them could catch her up. Nobody gets the chance to reply however. A woman clothed in poorly made garments and long brown hair burst into the room.
Like a wild boar charging towards its target, she moves to the man behind Geralt, lifting her leg in a smooth motion and driving it into the man's chest. A cry of pain escapes his mouth as the wind is knocked out of him. In a language foreign to Visenya, with similar intonation to the one she heard before being knocked out, the woman says something in a scathing tone. She says the phrase at him like a cobra spitting venom. 
Like the wind, the woman then moves to Geralt greeting him in the same manner, before finally moving to stand before Visenya. Her features are pointed and regal looking with delicately pointed ears. Her eyes are the same shade as the forest during the darkest night, a mix of emerald and black with a hint of silver streaming in from the moon. She would be ethereal, in a goddess of war kind of way, if not for the heavy bags under her eyes, in shades of blue and black or the sunken appearance of her face-- a sign of under-eating. But she’s proud and angry-- like a roaring lion as it shows its teeth. 
Visenya golden eyes narrowed into slits, challenging the foreign woman to treat her as she did Geralt and the other man. And she did not disappoint.
Despite looking as if she could deteriorate any second now, she kicks Visenya with the force of a fabled giant, rendering Visenya breathless. For a brief moment, everything goes black as small dots cover her vision. But she doesn’t move back into the bodies behind her, or let out a grunt of pain. Her pride is too strong to show weakness, even when she’s at an obvious disadvantage. 
Warm liquid begins to pool in her mouth and without hesitation, Visenya spits it out. The crimson liquid sprays in the air, the woman narrowly managing to avoid being hit.
“Elves!” Geralt exclaims. Another man in similar garb to the woman comes into the room with an ornate lute in hand. He begins buckling at the strings, breaking them as he goes. The sound is painful, similar to the noise of silverware scraping against a plate, but worse. It lingers in her head, only to return enfold when the man breaks another string. 
“Oi that’s my lute. Give that back!” the man exclaims, more concerned about his lute than their safety it would seem. 
“Maybe focus on staying alive.” Visenya mutters, wiggling to try and loosen the knot around her wrist. 
“Quick Geralt do your- your- witchering thing!” the man finishes, unperturbed by Visenya’s comment. 
“Shut up!” Geralt yells, before being kicked by the woman again, a crack resonating in the room. Visenya’s face scrunches up in a wince, the sound worse than the pain probably is.  
Like a predator circling its prey, the woman makes her way back to Visenya. She leans down until the two are eye to eye, and doesn't hesitate to slap Visenya across the face, the force causing her head to swing to the left. Before she has a chance to recuperate from the blow, the woman punches the other side of Visenya’s face. Her hands slid down, finding purchase on her cloak. 
The cloak Sansa made for her. One of the only things she has left of the Starks. A reminder of a time when things were simpler and she still had a home.
“No please don’t--!” Visenya desperately pleads, but it’s too late. The woman tears the fabric of the cloak. The side that had the dire wolf embroidery completely torn off. She tosses the piece behind her, bringing another hand towards Visenya’s face. The smack resounds in Visenya’s mind, her inner dragon roaring at the offense. Her skin heats up as her emotions grow unstable. 
The smell of rope being singed fills the air, the binds holding Visenya loosening, however the rope is too thick to immediately burn off. When the woman’s hand makes contact with Visenya, she screams in pain and immediately recoils, tenderly touching her burned hand. The injury doesn’t stop her though. Instead she moved onto Geralt, yelling something in her foreign tongue. 
“My eldar speech is rough, I only got part of that.” the man sarcastically quips. The woman dances around Visenya, refusing to even look at her. 
“Humans, shut up!” she spits, glaring at the man. He then replies to her in the same language, using that same sarcastic tone. 
“Do you wanna die right now?” she says, her tone more hostile than before. By this point she’d moved so she was directly across from the man in blue.
“As opposed to later?” Geralt venomously yells, once against trying to loosen the restraints. While partially singed, the rope is incredibly durable. 
She swiftly kicks the mystery man in the gut, simultaneously the man with the lute breaks another string. She then moves around to Geralt
“Leave off!” Geralt yells at the woman. “He’s just a bard.” he finishes. She responds with a punch to Geralt’s face, a third string breaking.
“You don’t deserve the air you breathe.” she says, fourth string
“Everything you touch, you destroy.” another punch to the face, and the final string is broken. The man with the lute then proceeds to break the instrument over his knee as the woman finishes Geralt off with one more blow to the face. 
“You hide in your golden palace. You beat a bound man, too scared to even look him in the eye!” 
“Do you like my palace? Hmm?” she replies, maneuvering back to Geralt. She lowers herself to his level, grasping his chin in her hands. “Does it live up to the tales you humans tell?” she asks. Geralt responds with a head butt. The force knocks the woman to the ground and she begins coughing profusely, unable to stand up.
“Haha! Take that pointy!” the man yells. “W-wait what’s wrong with her?” the man worriedly asks once the coughing and wheezing doesn’t cease.
“She’s sick.” someone replies, two more figures entering the room. A man with blonde hair and a… goat standing upright.
“I’ve seen it all.” Visenya mutters to herself, ashen brows raised towards her hairline. Her mouth is turned downwards, watching the...creature enter the room. 
“Oh and who’s this?” the man asks. The blonde figure moves to the woman profusely coughing on the ground. 
“He’s Filavandrel, King of the Elves.” the goat-man replies, rushing to the other side of the woman. Visenya snorts to herself.
“One hell of a kingdom, even better subjects too.” Visenya mutters under her breath. Filavandrel responds with a piercing glare towards Visenya, but she simply snarls at him, baring her teeth at him like an animal. The blood she spit from her mouth earlier stains her mouth deep red, making her look more like a wild animal rather than human. 
“Not a king. Not by choice.” he says, taking the pack the goat-man gave to him. He turns his attention to the woman and gently picks up her arms. Her hands are bright red, small blisters forming where Visenya had burned her.
“How did you get burned?” the man asks, his voice so quiet Visenya had to strain herself to hear, despite their close proximity.  
“The girl burnt my hand when I touched her.” she replies, looking past him to scowl at Visenya. Geralt looks at her briefly, his brows furrowed and eyes squinted. His gaze soon switches back to their captors.
“You mean you can do that?” the man to her left exclaims, wiggling around in his spot. Visenya pointedly ignores the man.
“You were stealing for them.” Geralt says. The goat whipped his head around towards Geralt. 
“I felt for them. They were forced out of Dol Blathanna.” he says. 
“Forced out? No they chose --” the man begins, sounding as confused as Visenya felt, although for different reasons probably. She has no idea what an elf is, and even less what this goat creature could be identified as.
“Do you know anyone who would willingly leave their home? To starve? To have a Sylvan steal for them?” Filavandrel interrupts, he then turns his attention back to the elven woman. “Touruviel, no one was supposed to get hurt.” he scolds her. 
“What’s three humans in the ground when countless elves have died.” she responds, her voice lacking the fire it held previously. 
“Two humans.” Geralt rebuttals. “And you can let them go.” 
“Then Posada will learn that we’ve been stealing.” Filavandrel replies, standing from his position, moving towards them. “The humans will attack. Many will die… on both sides.” he spits, moving to stand in front of Geralt. 
“The lesser evil.” Geralt gripes, obviously unamused by the current events. “No matter what you choose you’ll come out bloody and hating yourself. Trust me. “ Geralt says, conviction behind every word. 
Visenya continues to stare straight ahead, not looking at anything in particular. Flashes of Blaviken enter her mind, but she forcibly pushes them away. 
Filavandrel simply shakes his head, he kneels before Geralt. “I can’t. And this is necessary.” he replies, leaning over to unsheathe a dagger. 
“I understand.” Geralt says. “As long as you understand it won’t be long before you join me.”
“Yes, because they pushed us from viable soil.” Filavandrel says. “Even chaos is polluted. Synthetically enhanced so humans can make magic.”
“Chaos is the same it’s always been, the humans just adapted better.”
“You say adapt, and I say destroy.”
“You are choosing to starve. You’re cutting off your own ear to spite your face.”
“Do you think this is about pride?” Anger simmers under the surface of his words, the rage barely kept in check. “My elders worked with humans and got robbed of everything they had. And when they fought back, they were slaughtered. “The Great Cleansing,” humans call it. I call it digging a mass grave for everyone I loved. And now the humans proudly watch these very fields grow… our babies fertilizer for their grain. I don’t want to bury anyone else.” He pauses, his voice turning more somber.
Like tiny flares, memories flash into Visenya’s mind: Running around The Red Keep when she was a child; tightly holding onto the skirt of her mother’s dress; reading her any book she could find after she gave birth to Aegon and was bedridden for nearly a year. She can almost smell The Red Keep, a cacophony of floral from the gardens, incense trickling through the windows, and the musk from ancient books. 
“I was once Filavandrel of the Silver Towers, now I’m Filavandrel of the edge of the world.”
There’s a pause, everything in the room growing still. Visenya moves her gaze to her left, looking towards Filavandrel who is still sitting in front of Geralt.
 His face can only be described as defeated. His silvery blue eyes are dull and dead, a stark difference to the glittering brightness they probably used to burn with. They look more like a foggy sky, the crystalline blue sky muddled by dirt and pollution. His lips are pulled into a thin line, lines embedded in his forehead and around his mouth. His cheeks are sunken in as well, dirt spotting his sun kissed skin. 
“I understand.” Her voice is raw, why is it so raw? “When I was five, my family was killed in a rebellion. My mother and siblings were murdered, and my father fell in battle. The savage who killed my mother was pardoned and the killer of my father became king. Neither suffered any consequences. In fact, the bodies of my brother and sister were wrapped in cloaks in the color of their killer to be presented to the new king as a token of loyalty,” 
It’s strange, speaking about past events outloud and remembering each detail so vividly. She’s always known their fate, the sound of her mother’s screams keeping her up in the middle of the night, the sound of her skull being crushed haunting even the sweetest dreams. 
“I was raised in a foreign country by a family not my own. But I adapted.” 
Filavandrel moves from his spot in front of Geralt to instead kneel before Visenya. She manages to wiggle her hands from the partly burnt rope, grasping Filavandrel’s hand in her own. He recoils in shock but doesn’t pull away, his eyes locked on Visenya.
“I never forgot my dead and neither should you.” she continues in a much softer tone than before. “But I adapted,” Visenya says, looking Filavandrel directly in the eye. “And you can too.” 
He simply continues to stare at her, his eyes boring deep inside her own. An air of hopelessness and sorrow surrounds him, his light blue eyes are more ancient than his youthful face should allow. And he’s beautiful, despite how malnourished and dirty he is, dressed in rags that are ill fitting on his scrawny form. She can see past all of that and visualize the former glory he used to possess before everything came crashing down. 
“I can’t.” he says. “If my people come down from these mountains, that would mean bowing to human sovereignty. They’ll make slaves of us. Pariah’s from half-blood children.” he fiercely exclaims. 
“Then go somewhere else.” Geralt interrupts. “Rebuild. Get strong again. Show the humans that you are more than what they fear you to be.” he finishes. Filavandrel releases himself from Visenya’s grasp, moving back to Geralt.
“Like you, Witcher?” 
“I have learned to live with them. So that I may live” Geralt simply replies. The woman stands from her sitting position, moving over to them.
“Please my king. There are others. A new generation. Evellian who wish to fight!” the woman nearly shouts, burning passion lacing each word. “Let us take back what’s ours. Starting now” she finishes. Filavandrel leans over, grasping the hilt of his dagger once more. 
“Wait!” the Sylvan exclaims, grabbing onto Filavandrel’s shoulder.
“Torque, stand aside.” Filavandrel exclaims, jerking his shoulder out of the Sylvan's grasp.
“The Witcher could’ve killed me. But he didn’t. He’s different, like us.” the Sylvan finishes. Filavandrel simply shoves Torque away with his shoulder, staring intently at Geralt, his eyes occasionally flickering back to Visenya.  
“If you must kill me… I am ready. But the Sylvan’s right.” Geralt intervenes. “Don’t call me human.” he holds his head up to expose his neck to the elves. Filavandrel moves to the other side, directly across from Visenya, holding up the dagger high in the air. Visenya’s eyes squeeze shut, not wanting to watch Geralt and their third companion be butchered. Like lightning, the dagger flies through the air and a sharp crack rings in the air. The ropes binding their arms loosens and falls to the ground. Visenya cracks one eye, then slowly the next. 
��Oh good, we're not dead. Love it when I do that.” 
                                                       o0o0o0o
“That was a nice touch, the whole ‘I know how you feel’ thing.” The man mutters to Visenya, a lopsided grin resting on his face. His floppy brown hair is disheveled, pieces of it sticking to his forehead due to sweat. Some blood spills from the corner of his mouth, where the elven woman hit him - multiple times. His bright eyes look at Visenya like a puppy would look at a child, wide-eyed and full of wonder. “Really sets a vulnerable tone.” he finishes, strumming the new lute Filavandrel had gifted him to replace his now broken one. 
Geralt is a few steps away from them, gathering his weapons and other items the elves took when they captured him. Despite not looking at them and giving no indication he’s listening, Visenya knows he is. His attention seems too intently focused on the pack in his hands. 
Visenya simply rolls her eyes at the man, moving across the room to retrieve her possessions. As she passes him, Geralt nods his head in acknowledgment but says nothing. His eyes are scrutinizing her face like she’s a locked box that he’s attempting to unravel. Not that Visenya can condemn him for his curiosity, only moments ago she revealed a piece of her life in Westeros. However, Geralt was merciful enough to not vocalize his inquiries and for that, she is grateful. 
“I do believe this belongs to you.” Filavandrel stands behind her, a familiar longsword in his hands, offering her the blade. Visenya grasps it, the cool metal of the hilt a stark contrast to her warm skin. The silver dragon design coils around the hilt, the gleaming red gemstones set in the design imitating two draconic eyes peering into Visenya’s soul. The blade makes a soft shing as it’s slowly unsheathed. The smooth metal glistens in the light as the soft sunbeams reflect off it. She takes her time intently inspecting the blade, memorizing each slight imperfection from the extensive battles it’s seen. 
“A dragon on the hilt, an interesting touch,” he notes, watching Visenya tracing the details of the blade with her eyes. Filavandrel notes the reverence in her eyes, often not seen in an untrained soldier with a sword. 
“A gift from a friend,” Visenya answers his unasked question, eyes moving to meet his. His gaze is as intense as it was before, however, the delicate smile resting on his face eases any discomfort. His eyes move to Visenya’s cloak, torn from where Touruviel had ripped it when Visenya was bound. Her hand follows his eyes, feeling the ribbon of the cloak with the embroidered wolf. It limply dangles from her shoulder area, the damage far beyond anything Visenya’s skill could fix, at least to make it appear as it was before. 
“I am sorry about your cloak.” he apologizes, guilt flooding his facial expressions. Visenya simply shakes her head, hand dropping back to her side. 
“It’s fine, could've been worse.” Visenya shrugs her shoulders, not sure what else to say. 
“Yes, but that doesn’t change the fact that, while the weather is comfortable during the day, the nights are cold - too cold to go without proper supplies.” he rebuttals. His concern for her comfort moderately amuses Visenya. Her lips faintly turn upwards, not a full smile, but enough to show her gratitude towards Filavandrel. 
“I don’t find myself getting cold these days,” Visenya answers, her voice softer than the hints of sunlight flooding the room. A stark contrast to the severe tone she’d used moments ago towards Touruviel. 
An amused expression snakes itself onto Filavandrel’s face, his soft blue eyes alight with humor and an upward curve of his lips. “Even so, I feel I should still apologize on Touruviel’s behalf. She can be overly zealous concerning her convictions.” Filavandrel replies, his tone apologetic. Before he can continue with needless apologies, Visenya reaches her hand out to grasp his own, cutting him off. 
“You don’t need to apologize. Your people have seen the worst humanity has to offer.” Visenya remarks eyes quickly darting to Touruviel who’s been watching Visenya intently, hands ghosting on her dagger as Visenya makes physical contact with Filavandrel. Her gaze moves back to him as she removes her hand from his. “She holds an explosive passion for her people, perhaps you could learn a thing or two from her.” Visenya teases, her words lacking any bite to them. A hearty chuckle leaves Filavandrel’s mouth, the humor returning to his eyes.
By this point Geralt and his companion have walked through the doorway to leave, Geralt awkwardly hanging by the exit watching Visenya, not attempting to be subtle. In his hands, he holds a pack that distinctly resembles hers. 
“Perhaps so.” he muses after his laughter silences. Noticing where her gaze is, Filavandrel turns towards the exit, holding his arm out to Visenya, offering himself as an escort. She delicately weaves her arm around his elbow, a nonverbal cue for them to move forward. 
“If I thought I could, I’d point you in the direction of my aunt, Daenerys. From the information I’ve been given, the people have taken to calling her the Breaker of Chains. Her army and three dragons would make for a worthy ally to your cause and a fearsome enemy to your oppressors.” Visenya absentmindedly says as they get closer to the exit. Upon closing the distance between them, Geralt tosses Visenya’s pack towards her, which her free hand catches with ease.
“Queen Calanthe would be cowering in her palace.” Filavandrel muses in a light-hearted tone. “However from your phrasing and previous information, I gather this aunt is somewhere my people can’t reach,” he adds, taking note of her slightly crestfallen tone. 
“Your assumption is correct.” Visenya plainly replies, staring straight ahead. Her thoughts once again wander home. The desire she’d felt to sail east had burned like ice in her veins upon hearing about the return of dragons due to Daenerys. The only thing keeping her was the loyalty she’d felt to Ned Stark and by extension - Robb and the northerners. A small part of her wonders how different things would’ve been if she had left, sailed to Slaver's Bay and never looked back, joining her Aunt in war as opposed to the North. Would she still become food to the crows, or be covered in glittering jewels worthy of a dragon princess. Would she don glorious plate armor, the design similar to her own father’s? These distant thoughts matter little, Visenya made a conscious choice to stay, and in turn die, in Westeros.
While Visenya was too busy lost in her own mind, Filavandrel had guided her out of the building the elves made their sanctuary, far away from bigoted humans. The natural crevices in the walls act as windows, allowing for natural sunlight to stream into the hall. The sun is in the beginning stages of setting, creating a warm glow, making the beings in the vicinity appear ethereal and surreal. Visenya’s eyes trace the faint halo above Geralt’s head, the sun reflecting off his white hair beautifully. 
Beautiful; not a word Visenya would think to use to describe Geralt, but it fits.
Geralt and his companion wander ahead of them, the Witcher never more than three steps from her. It warmed Visenya’s heart, that despite hardly knowing her, he felt the need to protect her - something Visenya doesn’t doubt he’d be easily capable of. Despite the elves vastly outnumbering them, they were starving and Geralt is highly trained and they were starving.
 The elves they pass watch them warily, most wearing vicious sneers on their faces, keeping a scrutinizing eye on the humans. A few of the elves reach to grasp their weapons, preparing themselves for a fight. The floppy-haired man carefully watches his surroundings, his expression giving away his nerves as he worries his bottom lip. Geralt seems completely calm - if he is aware of their hostility, he remains unbothered. But if Blaviken was any indication of his treatment, hostility is something he’s very familiar with. 
The closer they get to the exit, the brighter the sunlight grows, the elves becoming more frequent until eventually, they reach what seems to be the main entrance. Filavandrel pulls his arm away from Visenya’s and moves towards the front of the group. He opens the door, motioning for Geralt to move through. He mutters lowly to Geralt, the witcher replying with a simple grunt. Next through is the floppy-haired man, nodding in acknowledgment at Filavandrel. Visenya’s gaze locks onto Touruviel, who’d been stalking behind them, her razor-sharp gaze locked on Visenya, who offers the woman a small smile, attempting to diffuse the elf’s rage. Touruviel responds with a sneer, clutching her injured hand that had been wrapped in bandages. She spits something at Visenya in her native tongue, lacing the words with venom, but makes no hostile movements. 
“Perhaps the finest thing to come from this is making your acquaintance.” Filavandrel’s words pull Visenya’s attention back to him. He’s still standing by the door, arms outstretched towards her. A beaming smile rests on his face, his eyes no longer weighed down by the responsibilities that were thrusted upon him - at least for the moment, making his timeless face appear more youthful. It’s so infectious Visenya can’t help but return it. She moves towards him, placing a hand on his shoulder as she passes. 
“I’m flattered, your grace.” Visenya quips, light joking lacing the formality. He raises his eyebrows at her joke but does nothing else. She moves past the door with a hand still on Filavandrel, feeling the fresh air hitting her face. She turns to face him, his body moving like a magnet to match her. “About what Touruviel said earlier about a new generation wanting to fight back,” she remarks, Filavandrel opens his mouth to interrupt, but Visenya pushes on before he can. “You can count me in. It would be an honor to fight alongside your people.” she finishes. The light expression on his face instantly shifts into disbelief, his eyes, however, look at her with an admiration that wasn’t present before.
“You shall be the first ally I call upon,” he claims, managing to regain his composure. Visenya responds with a beaming smile. Her golden eyes - beaming with delight - could rival the sun on the hottest summer day. She leans forward, placing a delicate kiss on his cheek. 
“I promise you, my life is eternally richer by meeting you,” she tells him, and she means it. “Until we meet again Filavandrel,” she adds, before releasing her grip and moving towards Geralt and his companion. Geralt is watching with a neutral expression and his arms crossed over his chest. His companion’s composure is the exact opposite, watching with wide eyes, trying to take in every detail of the scene before them. Unknowingly to Visenya, he is planning his next ballad, based on what unfolded before him. She moves towards them, not stopping once she reaches them but just continues forward. Geralt and his companion follow suit, however, the man rushes forward until he’s keeping pace with Visenya. 
“I don’t believe we’ve had the pleasure to formally meet my lady,” he comments, dashing to stand in front of Visenya. She pauses her movement as the man kneels before her, grasping her hand in his own. “Julian Alfred Pankratz, but you may call me Jaskier,” he says as he attempts to pull her hand towards his lips but Visenya jerks away before he can. 
“Jane.” she plainly replies, hoping to not encourage the man further. Either he doesn’t get the hint, or he decides to disregard it.
“I am but a humble bard blinded by the beauty of the woman before me…” he begins but is interrupted by Geralt, who is a few steps behind Visenya.
“Leave her, Jaskier,” he demands. His eyes are locked on the man in question, his ashen brows furrowed and lips pulled in a tight line. 
“Perhaps the lady would like to hear a ballad, each line inspired by her beautiful golden eyes.” Jaskier continues, completely ignoring Geralt. Visenya sighs in annoyance, staring straight ahead. She side-eye's Jaskier, sending a chilly glare his way before continuing to move, albeit at a faster pace than before hoping to get ahead of the persistent bard. Similar to when Geralt demanded Jaskier to leave her alone, he chooses to ignore Visenya’s cold reception of him. The soft sounds of a lute begin to resound in the area when Jaskier starts singing a soft ballad, the song lyrics thinly veiled references about Visenya. 
Geralt moves up until he’s walking beside Visenya, leaving the bard in the back. His lips still pulled into a tight line, eyes narrowing in concentration as he stares ahead. There is a flicker of annoyance in his eyes, that grows more apparent the louder Jaskier’s singing becomes. His jaw is clenched so tightly, Visenya could swear a few of his veins have popped. A slight smirk tugs itself onto Visenya's face as she continues to watch his irritation grow. Out of the corner of his eyes, Geralt notices Visenya’s amusement. 
“Something funny?” he questions, his deep voice closely resembling a growl. Visenya’s gaze moves from Geralt’s face to the rolling fields ahead of them. The soft crunch of the grass beneath her feet is a stark contrast to Jaskier’s incessant singing. A soft giggle bubbles from her mouth, her hand immediately coming up to her lips to stifle the sound. But the damage has been done. Instead of looking at her out of the corner of his eyes, he turns to face her head-on. She shakes her head, unable to silence her laughter. All the while, Geralt continues to stare at her. The only sign of his amusement is the slight twitch in his furrowed brows. 
“It’s nothing. I just forgot how vexed you always seem to be.” Visenya muses, after managing to silence her laughter. His face relaxes as her words sink in, a single brow rising in questioning. 
“This is the second time we’ve encountered each other.” he points out, a teasing undertone hidden in his gruff voice. 
“Then it would seem you’ve made an impression, Geralt of Rivia,” Visenya claims, not missing a beat. She turns her head to meet his gaze for a split second, a teasing grin resting on her lips, amber eyes alight with mischief. A simple grunt is all Visenya gets in response to her banter.
A moment of silence passes between the two of them. By this point, Jaskier’s singing has ceased and instead, he opted to idly strum his new lute, silent for the first time since Visenya met him. The sky is a beautiful blend of vivid oranges and reds. Fluffy white clouds conceal the majority of the sun, causing the rays that peek through the clouds to appear more concentrated. Visenya can’t help but stare, her face alight with childlike wonder at the sky being so beguiling and surreal, looking akin to a painting rather than a natural cause. Geralt sneaks a glance at Visenya out of the corner of his eye. 
“So my fair friends! Where to now?” Jaskier exclaims, rushing to stand in between Geralt and Visenya - his brief silence over. His lute is slung over his shoulder, his face stuck in a puppy dog state. He throws his arms over their shoulders, however, Geralt swiftly shoves Jaskier off of him, continuing forward at a more rapid pace than before. 
“That depends, where are you planning to head off to.” Visenya inquires, side-eyeing Jaskier once again. A beaming smile breaks out on his lips, his baby blue eyes nearly as beaming as the brightest star. 
“Well my lady, I will need to head back to the inn in Posada to gather my things, then perhaps I was thinking about going to Venngerburg. Who knows what the capital could offer a bard like me!” Jaskier exclaims, removing his arm from her shoulder, opting to instead practically dance around her, twirling in front of Visenya, finishing his movements by smoothly kneeling to the ground and brandishing a single flower. It’s a delicate wildflower, it’s petals a vivid red that blends with the sunset above it. Appearing as if the same artist that painted the sky dotted the field with flowers.
“Perhaps the lady would care to join me?” he asks, offering the flower to her. Visenya’s eyes flicker to Geralt momentarily before moving back to Jaskier. His eyes are hopeful as they dart across her features, attempting to discern her reaction. After a moment of contemplation, she grabs the flower from his outstretched hand.
“Perhaps the lady would like to make sure she is on the other side of the continent,” Visenya replies, mimicking Jaskier’s tone. She glides past him, placing the flower behind her ear. Jaskier stays frozen in his position, his brain not fully registering the turn of events. 
She briskly moves towards Geralt to match his pace once again. The only acknowledgment he shows her is a quick glance at her before returning his attention forward. After a few moments, Jaskier manages to gather his bearings and moves to walk behind the duo. The three of them continue in silence. With no conversation acting as a distraction, Visenya finds her thoughts wandering. The elves had struck a nerve in her, their tragic fall from grace too similar to Visenya’s own house's demise. Injustice appeared to run rampant in this world - similar to Westeros. Despite being reborn with fire magic, Visenya still finds herself helpless to do anything to stop it. It was almost better when she couldn’t do anything at all.  
o0o
Eventually, they reach the main road - a brown mare that Visenya recognizes from Blaviken as Geralt’s - is patiently waiting on the side of the road. It snorts and shakes its head as Geralt approaches. He places his hand on its head, gently petting the horse as he softly speaks to it. It’s quite possibly the most tender Visenya has ever seen Geralt act. The sweet smile that had crept onto her face immediately disappears as she notices Jaskier approaching her. Before he has a chance to begin talking, Visenya throws a glare his way. 
“Don’t,” she says before moving towards Geralt. By this point, Geralt is guiding the mare towards the road. Once again, she takes her place beside him. The sound of a lute smacking against a surface alerts Visenya that Jaskier is following. 
“So what now?” Visenya asks Geralt as they wander aimlessly down the road. 
“Leaving.” Geralt mutters.
“Off to bigger and better adventures?” Visenya teases, nudging Geralt with her shoulder, a sly smirk on her face. He snorts in reply, unmoved by Visenya’s attempt to lightly push him. 
“Something like that,” he replies, a hint of a smile on his grim face. “And you?” he asks, his gaze meeting her own. Visenya sighs, not having a clue what her next course of action should be. 
“Well, my cloak is ruined so I’ll need to get it fixed. Which means I’ll need coin, which also means I need to get a job. Maybe the inn has an idiot that needs their gold relieved from their pouch.” she wistfully replies.
“I do!” Jaskier exclaims from the back. Geralt and Visenya stop and turn to look at Jaskier. His arm is raised in the air, a giddy expression lighting up his face. He swiftly lowers his hand upon gaining their attention. He stands up straighter, attempting to smooth out his clothes. “I mean - I might possibly have a job for you my lady Jane,” he adds, trying to keep his voice level and tone nonchalant. 
“Really?” Visenya asks, an amused look on her face as she raises a single eyebrow, watching the man expectantly. 
“Truly,” Jaskier replies, running to close the distance between them. “I find myself in need of a bodyguard of sorts if you will. A bard of notoriety such as myself will need the highest security gold can buy.” he finishes, running his hands through his already messy hair. Geralt snorts, nudging his horse to continue moving forward, leaving Visenya and Jaskier. Visenya momentarily glances at Geralt’s retreating figure before returning her attention to Jaskier. 
“I’ve never heard of you before,” she notes, scrutinizing Jaskier’s face, trying to see if his offer had any double meanings. 
“I assure you, my lady, I’m up and coming. Before you know it, kings and queens everywhere will be begging for me to perform at their parties!” Jaskier exclaims, wrapping his arm around Visenya’s shoulder as he leads her down the road - the same direction Geralt went. “Which means - should I acquire any rivals or perhaps trouble during my travels - I will need someone with a very large sword at my back.” he continues. Visenya once again snorts, watching Jaskier from the corner of her eyes. 
“Fine.” she relents. His eyes widen in surprise momentarily at her agreeance to his offer. “But there’s going to be some rules.” she sternly finishes, narrowing her eyes at him to get her point across. 
“Anything.” he quickly exclaims, with a large smile on his face. With the fluidity of a practiced warrior, Visenya shoves her elbow into Jaskier’s side. The bard crumbles to the ground, moaning in pain as he holds onto his right side, attempting to ease the pain.
“Don’t touch me,” she says, continuing down the road.
                                                      o0o0o0o
Tags: If you’re name is crossed out, it means Tumblr wouldn’t let me tag you.
 @ayamenimthiriel​ | @1967-chevy-impala-called-roscoe​ | @sunlithours
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msfilmdiary · 3 years
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The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn–Part 2
Starring: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Nikki Reed, Ashley Greene, Kellan Lutz, Jackson Rathbone, Peter Facinelli, Anna Kendrick, Elizabeth Reaser, Billie Burke, Michael Sheen, Dakota Fanning, Jamie Campbell Bower, Christian Serratos, Chaske Spencer, Mackenzie Foy, Rami Malek, Christopher Heyerdahl, Alex Meraz, Bronson Pelletier, Julia Jones, Booboo Stewart, Noel Fisher, Sarah Clarke, and Jodelle Ferland
Screenplay by Melissa Rosenberg
Directed by Bill Condon
Cinematography by Guillermo Navarro
I do not own any of the pictures posted. 
SPOILERS AHEAD 
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Bella has just awoken from her human-to-vampire transformation and is introduced to her daughter Renesmee. The Cullens and Jacob stay nearby, and Jacob seemingly acts possessive towards Renesmee, and Bella learns that he imprinted on her. Meanwhile, Bella’s father Charlie has been trying to contact the Cullens for updates on Bella and her health. Carlisle soon comes to believe that they need to leave Forks to protect their identities, and Jacob, desperate not to lose Renesmee, visits Charlie to inform him about Bella. He tells him that Bella is alive and well, but had to change in order to get better. He also tells Charlie that he doesn't live in the world he thinks he lives in, revealing his wolf form to Charlie. Charlie then visits the Cullen house and meets Renesmee, and Bella and the Cullen family are able to stay in Forks. 
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Carlisle is monitoring Renesmee’s rapid growth over the course of a few months. When they go to the woods for an outing, Irina sees Renesmee from a distance and assumes that she is an immortal child without asking any questions. Immortal children are vampires changed in childhood who often destroyed villages and towns because they could not be restrained or controlled. Immortal children were executed and outlawed, as well as the parents who created them. A bitter Irina goes to the Volturi to report what she has seen, and Alice has a vision of the Volturi and Irina coming to kill the Cullens and instructs them to find as many witnesses to vouch that Renesmee is not an immortal child. Alice and Jasper leave to try and find their own witnesses, while the others begin to summon various people to vouch for the Cullens that they do not have an immortal child. 
Some of these witnesses include the Denali family. Eleazar, a member of the Denali family, discovers that Bella has a special ability that protects her from Edward’s mind-reading. Even when she was human, she had a powerful mental shield protecting her from many vampire gifts, which translated into her being able to protect others from vampire powers now that she is immortal. 
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Some of Cullen's potential witnesses are attacked, and Carlisle and Edward realize that they may have to fight Volturi. Their remaining witnesses agree to stand with them against Volturi. The Volturi soon arrive prepared for battle led by Aro, who is eager to obtain the vampiric gifts the Cullens have as part of his guard. Before any violence begins, Alice and Jasper approach Aro, and Alice shares her vision with him of battle, which would result in heavy casualties on both sides, including Aro’s and Carlilse’s death. Aro believes her vision, giving them both a chance to reveal their witness, Nahuel, who is half-human and half-vampire, just like Renesmee. Nahuel proves that he is not a threat, ensuring that Renesmee isn't either. The Volturi leave, explaining that there will be no battle. 
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Now back at the Cullen house, Alice has a vision of the future, seeing Bella and Edward and Jacob together and a fully matured Renesmee also together. Edward reads Alice’s mind and is relieved to find that Jacob will always protect Renesmee. Now alone in the meadow, Bella pushes her mental shield away and finally allows Edward to read her mind, showing him every moment they spent together. The film franchise ends with Bella tells Edward that “nobody has ever loved anybody as much as I love you” and with that, the film franchise finally comes to a close, with Bella and Edward together forever in their own vampire universe. 
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Breaking Dawn–Part 2 captured and finalized the Twilight saga, throwing a few twists and turns into the storyline. Now, I will admit, some of the dialogue seems a bit out of place when compared to the franchises previous films, but the overall feel remains the same. Breaking Dawn–Part 2, if anything, ties up the series without leaving any loopholes in an action-packed, bone-chilling way. 
We see the new Bella right at the beginning of them, which I believe is one of the best character developments I’ve ever seen. She’s changed, but not in a way that doesn't seem unrealistic (that is, if you consider vampires, werewolves, and hybrids of some sort realistic.) She, like the Cullens, can run from place to place instantaneously, sees nature in great detail, and has a daggering taste for blood. 
Vampire Bella is not someone I would describe in the same way I would describe human Bella. Human Bella is seclusive, insecure, and sensitive. Vampire Bella is more confident, and more herself. Human Bella is more of a daydreamer, and vampire Bella is more realistic, and excited to live her life as an immortal. 
Spending the last week and a half watching, reading, and analyzing Twilight and Twilight saga reviews, there is one thing that I’ve noticed. Bella, and Kirsten Stewart, who plays Bella, received generally negative reviews from critics. Stewart played Bella exactly how she was written, both human and vampire. Bella, as a character, is not very relatable or self-actualized, which is exactly how Stewart played her to be. 
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Now, back to the film and the saga as a whole. Watching Breaking Dawn–Part 2 is thrilling, especially in the later part of the movie. I know what’s going to happen when the Cullens and their witnesses fight Volturi. Nonetheless, I was still at the edge of my seat and holding my breath for these characters. Watching many of these beloved characters die, but not die, even though I knew what was going to happen, was heart wrenching and thrilling. 
Overall, I believe this film to be the perfect and bittersweet ending to the Twilight saga. Built up from Eclipse, I think it gave many what they wanted in an ending. Twilight, I believe, will always have an important place in pop and teen culture, and will always be something that many, including myself, reminisce on. Now, I believe that it’s getting the recognition that it deserves because society has moved past the point of hating something because teenage girls love it. I think that it’s okay to like Twilight, it’s okay to like things that are not deemed as classical or “good” literature, and it’s okay to like something simply because it's enjoyable. 
Breaking Dawn–Part 2 perfectly closed the series, but I don’t think the series will ever fully be forgotten or deemed unimportant by societal standards. I think, in an essence, teenage girls, or everyone else for that matter, will always remember the gut-wrenching, thrilling, bone-chilling, and romantic, vampiric series that is Twilight. 
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starwarsnonsense · 5 years
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Best Films of 2019 (So Far)
It’s that time of year again! As most of my followers probably know, I’m an avid cinema-goer beyond Star Wars. I also quite enjoy making lists, so what’s better than a combo of the two? Below, I run down my top 10 films of 2019 so far - please note that this list is based on UK cinema release dates, so some of these films were 2018 releases elsewhere.
What are your favourites so far from this year? Let me know in replies/asks!
Honourable mentions: Toy Story 4, Long Shot, Aladdin, Alita: Battle Angel & The Kid Who Would Be King
1. The Favourite, dir. Yorgos Lanthimos
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This completely wowed me - it features a trio of magnificently compelling female characters (played by Olivia Colman, Rachel Weisz and Emma Stone) operating at the court of Queen Anne (Colman is Anne, Weisz and Stone are courtiers), and is focused solely on the shifting sands of the power dynamics between them. The script is savage without sacrificing poignancy, witty without ceasing to be genuine. And while I’ve seen some react to this film as a comedy (and it certainly has laughs, most of which are closely tied to shock), for me it was very clearly a drama about the inscrutable and complicated relationships that exist between women. Specifically, it is about how those relationships run the gamut from sincere affinity to ruthless manipulation. This is an amazing movie, and it also has the best use of an Elton John song in 2019 (sorry, Rocketman!).
2. Midsommar, dir. Ari Aster
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I went into this film with reservations, since I wasn’t a huge fan of Hereditary (by the same director), which I found to have extraordinary moments but iffy execution overall. This movie, however, wowed me, and I am still uncertain as to whether this or The Favourite is my top film of 2019 so far (fortunately, this gives me a good excuse to watch Midsommar three or four times in cinemas). While marketed as a freaky cult horror film, the director has described it as a fairy tale, which is the level on which is spoke to me. Midsommar follows Dani (an incredible Florence Pugh), a young woman who has suffered a terrible loss, as she travels with her boyfriend and his friends to a pagan festival in the Swedish countryside. Dani is painfully isolated, and her grief is hers to shoulder alone since her boyfriend is un-receptive and distinctly unprepared to help her. Over the course of the film, destruction and creation are conflated in ways that are frequently beautiful and horrific at the same time - this film spoke to me on a profound level, and the way it ended gave me a sense of incredible catharsis. This won’t be for everyone, for I found it to be a deeply special film and I can’t recommend it enough.
3. One Cut of the Dead, dir.  Shinichirou Ueda
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While I went into The Favourite with high expectations given the talent involved, I went into this with no expectations whatsoever - and what a treat it was! One Cut of the Dead is easily one of the funniest movies I’ve seen in ears, taking what initially seems like a trite concept (a crew is filming a zombie movie at a desolate location ... only to discover that the zombies are real!) and twisting it in a truly ingenious way. The comedy is often of the broad variety, but it is consistently delightful and always manages to avoid becoming crass - the movie even has some really sweet family dynamics at the centre of it, which gives it some real emotional heft. The success of this film is heavily reliant on a major twist that occurs part-way through, so the best advice I can give you is to stay as far away from spoilers for this one as possible - go in blind, and you will be amply rewarded for your faith.
4. The Farewell, dir. Lulu Wang
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I saw this following a wave of festival hype, so while I was excited I was also a bit apprehensive (since I have been burned by the aforementioned festival hype before). Thankfully, my doubts were blown away as this turned out to be just as wonderful as the early reviews had suggested. It’s a personal story about a young Asian-American woman (Awkwafina) struggling to reconcile her heritage with her current situation and values - specifically, she is tested when her grandmother is diagnosed with terminal cancer and the wider family make the decision to hide the truth from her. The Farewell does a fantastic job of generating empathy for all the different perspectives and positions in play, but it’s truly anchored by Awkwafina’s amazingly nuanced and tender performance - basically, anyone who’s ever loved a grandparent should leave this feeling incredibly moved and inspired. The themes of The Farewell are both specific to the Asian-American experience and general to anyone who has struggled with maintaining bonds over a vast distance, whether physical or cultural.           
5. Booksmart, dir. Olivia Wilde
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God, how I wish I’d had this movie as a teenager! While Booksmart has a cliched premise - two high-achieving teens decide to have one wild night before graduation - it tells the story in an incredibly charming and impressively creative way (I won’t spoil it, but let me just say this - that scene with the Barbies!). As someone who was an awkward nerd with no discernible social life in high school (as you Americans call it), I found this portrayal of that peculiar limbo period very sensitive and thoughtful - it doesn’t mock or shame its heroines for being studious, and it allows them to have limits and step back from situations that make them uncomfortable. It also serves as a beautifully honest portrait of a friendship, depicting the qualities that bring people together in friendship together in the first place, as well as the forces that can break people apart. This is a very accomplished debut from Wilde, and it makes me very excited to see where she goes next as a director.
6. A Private War, dir. Matthew Heineman
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This was a very suspenseful and tightly focused film about an extraordinary woman, and the film soars on the strength of Rosamund Pike’s incredible performance as Marie Colvin. She provides piercing insights into the psyche of a person so driven to pursue truth and enact change that she loses all concern for her own wellbeing - it’s simultaneously a portrait of heroism and obsession, and it’s impressive for how it handles the ambiguity inherent in Colvin’s choices. She’s exceptionally brave, but the film is unflinching in depicting the costs of her bravery. It left me feeling inspired to learn more about Colvin’s life and work, and I still need to watch the documentary Under the Wire to get more insight into the real story behind the film.
7. Fighting With My Family, dir. Stephen Merchant
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This is the year of Florence Pugh - she killed it in Midsommar, and she is just as fantastic here. If anything, Fighting With My Family and Midsommar make great complements as they serve as fantastic showcases for Pugh’s range as an actor. While her character in Midsommar is fragile and vulnerable, Fighting With My Family is a platform for her strength and comedic skill. As Paige, Pugh is instantly likable and compelling - I don’t give a damn about any form of wrestling, but this film (and Pugh specifically) did a fantastic job of drawing me in and making me root for Paige’s struggle to prove herself as a legitimate force in wrestling. This is a real underdog story, and Pugh did a wonderful job as the Cinderella of the WWE.
8. Apollo 11, dir. Todd Douglas Miller
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My dad has always been crazy about the space program, but I hadn’t picked up the bug myself. That changed after I watched this extraordinary documentary, which brought the Apollo 11 mission to vivid life. The footage that’s used for this documentary is extraordinarily crisp, and some moments are vividly powerful - the crew getting into their spacesuits, the swirl of fire surrounding the moment of takeoff, and the journey of the spacecraft towards the moon. It left me feeling moved and touched by human potential, especially when you remember that this all happened 50 years ago when the available technologies were so fragile and primitive. I also loved how the footage was allowed to speak for itself, with no voiceover or exposition - it’s a must-see for anyone who’s ever looked up at the stars and wondered about reaching them.
9. High Life, dir. Claire Denis
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This movie is second to only Midsommar in terms of how weird it is. I saw this in a Hungarian cinema while on holiday, which made for a disorientating experience in itself. While the meaning of the film is quite elusive and I’m sure that many people will find viewing it a uniquely frustrating experience, I appreciated how it created a hothouse environment that brought out some of the ugliest aspects of humanity. Robert Pattinson was great as what comes closest to amounting to our protagonist, though he is as inscrutable and inaccessible as the film itself. I can’t quite pin down why I liked this one so much, but I know I did and it made me want to seek out more of Claire Denis’ work. 
10. Free Solo, dir. Jimmy Chin & Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi
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It’s tragic that most people will only watch this documentary on a TV screen (or, so much worse, a laptop!). I was fortunate enough to see it in its full IMAX glory, and it’s rare to see any film - let alone a documentary - take such full advantage of the format. The woozy spectacle of this film is the real star, though the subject - mountain climber Alex Honnold - is also fascinating with his unnerving detachment from the magnitude of what he is setting out on. It is clearly a necessary detachment for him to be able to achieve what he achieves, but I appreciated how the filmmakers questioned it and explored its impact on his girlfriend. This is a compelling documentary, and is worth watching even if you’re not usually a fan of the genre.
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jeks-tgs · 4 years
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Two Parts Tragedy - 1: Porcelain Doll
TW: depression, suicidal tendencies, dissociation, toxic relationships, unhealthy coping mechanisms, alcholism
"Henry, this has gone on too long!"
Henry stared, numb and blank, as Robert shouted and cussed and threw his hands about as he spoke. He knew this would happen, though he had always assumed it would happen when he found out about Hyde, not-
"You're working yourself to death for a bunch of bastards who don't even care!!"
Ah, that.. that stung. He knew it, of course, had known for a while really, but it still hurt to hear out loud.
"Robert, really, there's no need for-"
"Oh, don't try and butter me up, I'm not one of your damned patrons!" Robert seethed, and Henry could vaguely sense ice creeping along his veins. Sadly, he just couldn't seem to feel emotions right now, numb and smiling and empty. Hollow. Like a porcelain doll. He swallowed down a laugh as he realized just how true Hyde's 'painted toy gentleman' comments really were. Evidently the amusement wasn't hidden enough, as Robert's face suddenly darkened. "Fine. Just.. kill yourself with work, see if I care. Come visit once you've pulled your damn head out of your arse!!" Henry flinched as Robert slammed the doors shut behind him. He waited for sorrow and anguish to consume him, but his emotions remained stubbornly cut off from his body. Ah, well. He'd just drink his sorrows away later.
As it turned out, later didn't come.
Henry spent the rest of the day numb, then the night, then woke up still feeling.. wrong. Huh. It had never lasted this long before. Faintly, he knew he should be panicking, or at least somewhat concerned, but all he could really focus on was Robert's words from yesterday. He honestly wasn't sure how to feel. He and Robert's friendship had been strained, but now he felt in his heart that Robert just.. honestly wouldn't care if he died. He nearly stumbled in the hallway (thankfully empty) as it hit him; he was relieved. He was genuinely, truly relieved that Robert was no longer attached to him. He felt his smile turn slightly more genuine before hastily forcing it back into a perfectly crafted grin. No no no, his natural smile was much too mad, much too crooked. He could smile to himself in the safety of his office, right now he had to go get insulted by a bunch of overgrown children as he tried to get them back to work.
He found it much easier to brush off the scathing remarks now, and he began to wonder if losing his emotions was really such a bad thing. By the time he'd gone to a lunch meeting with a patron and attended a dinner for a possible donation, he decided that it was the best thing that could have happened to him. No more pesky slip ups, no more mortifying twinges of emotion, no more whispers about the odd gleam in his eyes. No, Dr. Jekyll left both meals perfectly empty and perfectly respected.
"Alright, what's the matter?" He cringed as Hyde's voice grated against his ears. "Your dullness is affecting even me, and it's annoying."
"Nothing, actually," Henry responded as he poured himself a large glass of wine. He heard the blond scoff, then watched as his reflection was replaced by a much shorter man with a wild mane of hair.
"Bullshit," His other half snarked, green eyes narrowed. "You've been moping ever since that fight with Lanyon. Why don't you just go kiss and makeup and get out of this funk?" Henry took a sip of his wine, thinking. Finally, he responded, "Robert made it rather clear our ties are well-severed, Hyde. There's really no point in begging for forgiveness, eapecially if I have no plans of changing my ways." Hyde stared, eyes wide, before allowing a grin to spread across his face. Henry felt a twinge in his gut at how carefree and happy his other looked, but brushed the feeling off lest it cause a chain reaction. He was fine, not feeling anything. Really.
"No more Lanyon?" Hyde asked, excited. "Truly? You have some damn sense afterall!! Oh, Jekyll, I'll behave for at least three days, I'm so grateful~!!" Henry found himself chuckling, easily amused rather than irritated by Hyde's antics. It was an odd change, but hey, he wouldn't complain if Hyde tormented him less. Feeling generous, he asked, "If you really will behave, would you like to go out?" Hyde stared at him, wide-eyed, and Henry felt a shiver of pride that he could still catch his alter ego off guard. "I'm serious. The search has died down enough that you could probably go to Soho, at least. Nowhere too populated, of course, but a few bars and other little hide aways should be fine."
Henry turned, getting the flask of red liquid down, and after adding the salt in and watching it turn vibrant green, he chugged it. He felt the pain wash over him with a jolt. After so long of being numb, the pain was a sharp wake-up call. He felt his bones break and shrink, and it took all of his will to not scream out. It was horrible, just as awful as the first time he'd changed. It was agonizing. It was miserable. It was felt. He hadn't realized just how boring being so numb was, and felt a smile tug at his face. Well, this was certainly an odd change of opinion. Normally, he loathed the horrid experience, but now it felt.. entertaining, perhaps, after such a dull period of time.
"Free!!" He heard Hyde cackle, then watched as the shorter man tripped over his trousers trying to find his little stash of clothing. He smiled a bit more, than allowed himself to slip off into unconsciousness. He didn't want to risk Hyde's exciting night to reawaken his own emotions during his much drearier day.
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kelseaaa · 4 years
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Together with the Sundown
Day Two: The Descent
Part 3/4 | Masterlist
Pairing: Lieutenant Oliver Cochrane x f!MC (Abigail Bellamy)
Word Count: 8,521
Series Summary:  This story takes place on Lieutenant Oliver’s ship just after he saves the Poseidon’s Revenge’s crew from the island and before they get to Port Monarque in Chapter 13. Since the book says that it takes a few days to get to the port, I wanted to expand on what might happen on the ship between Oliver, MC and the crew. I headcanon that it took them three full sea days to arrive at the port and this story will give insight on what might have happened, specifically between Oliver and MC.
Warnings: Mentions of violence, blood, alcohol, swearing and yearning
~~~~~
The clashing of metal reverberated over the deck as Abigail made her way topside. She took one step forward and was immediately pulled back flush against the wooden wall.
“Watch it, love,” Charlie said from her spot next to Edward.
Instantly the fighting forms of Kendrick and Maggie danced by - swords weaving to and fro - in the same spot where Abigail stood just seconds before. Her eyes grew wide at the two friends dueling against each other. Kendrick’s face was twisted into a scowl as he was pushed back along the deck. In stunning contrast, Maggie wore an infectious grin as she parried and blocked each strike from her friend’s blade. It was clear who had the upper hand.
“Oi, Maggie!” Kendrick heaved through haggard breath. He quickly brought his sword up to block another one of Maggie’s blows. “Careful!” he yelled out, which only made the grin on Maggie’s face grow larger.
“I don’t think I’m the one who need be careful,” she quipped back, deftly blocking the swipe to her side.
Within minutes Maggie was able to back Kendrick completely against the rail of the ship, sandwiched between several barrels and a cannon. Her sword pointed at his throat which bobbed several times. “I yield!” Kendrick yelped, tossing his sword to the floor.
Maggie smiled, pulling her sword away from his neck then wiping the sweat from her brow. “Looks like leavin’ with Robert’s crew has made you soft, lad.” Maggie reached down and picked Kendrick’s sword up from the wooden deck and held it out for him.
Kendrick grumbled, refusing to meet his friend’s eye as he snatched his blade back. Maggie simply rolled her eyes then clapped her hand on his shoulder.
“You know I only joke, yer a mighty fine swordsman and you know it.”
Kendrick glowered at his friend, which quickly morphed to a wry smile. “Aye, and don’t you forget it, lass.”
Maggie playfully shoved Kendrick away as the pair laughed. They spoke a moment more, then made their way over to Abigail, Charlie and Edward who were still standing against the ship’s wall. Abigail couldn’t help but notice the way these two acted when they were around each other, much like close siblings. It made her heart both swell and ache at the same time.
As Maggie and Kendrick approached, Abigail arched her brow at the two pirates. “What was all that about?” she asked.
“Just some sparring practice,” Maggie replied as she sheathed her sword. “Want to make sure we’re all prepared for what lies ahead.”
Kendrick nodded his head in agreement. “Aye, have to keep this one on her toes,” he said with a good-natured jab to Maggie’s side.
Edward laughed. “Seemed to me that you’re the one that needs help staying on their feet,” he jeered as Abigail and Charlie each stifled a laugh.
Kendrick’s lips curled to a small smirk before opening his mouth to reply. Just before he could speak, the sound of someone clearing their throat caught the group’s attention.
Everyone turned to see Oliver who was now standing just behind them. He wore his familiar Navy uniform with his trusty rapier sword attached at his hip. His long, blonde locks were pulled back on his head into a loose bun.
“That was quite a duel, you two,” Oliver offered. His serious face quickly changed to one of sincerity as he faced Maggie, “You were quite impressive, Miss Margaret.”
“‘Tis Maggie,” she replied, a slight bit of annoyance written on her face before her features fell back into something more pleasant, “but thanks.”
An awkward hush fell over the group, the only sound being the waves beating against the hull and the rest of the crew working around them. Kendrick shuffled back and forth between his feet and Charlie began to closely examine her nails. 
“So,” Maggie said, finally breaking the silence, “anyone else up for sparring?”
“You want to go again?” Kendrick asked incredulously. 
Maggie let out a half-hearted sigh, followed by a sly smile. “Don’t be daft. I just wondered if anyone else wanted to duel each other.” When no one immediately spoke, Maggie chimed in again, “I heard you two put on quite a show,” she said, motioning to Edward and Oliver. “I would love to see it first hand.”
At this comment, Oliver straightened his body to his full height and Edward shot Maggie a small smirk.
Oliver shook his head. “I don’t think that’s necessary-” 
“What’s wrong, Lieutenant?” Edward asked, cutting Oliver’s sentence short. “Scared that I might have the upper hand this time?” Though his demeanor was playful, there was a challenging edge to Edward’s voice.
“No,” Oliver bit back, the scowl evident on his face as he stared down the pirate captain.
Edward pulled himself from the wall and took a step forward. Abigail didn’t miss the slight wince that spread across his face as he moved.
“I think a little rematch is in order then,” Edward commented, his hand resting on the hilt of his blade that was sheathed at his side.
Abigail watched as Oliver’s pupils blew wide, though the rest of his face did not flinch.
“Very well, captain,” Oliver was seething, “I accept your challenge.” There was a beat of silence before Oliver spoke again. “If you could even call it that.”
Any playfulness that may have been left on Edward’s face vanished. His fingers tightened around his sword’s hilt then he slowly started to pull it from his scabbard. “Now you listen-” Edward’s words were cut short and he let out a small gasp of pain. He removed his hand from his blade, letting it fall back where it belonged at his side and his hand shot up to his injured shoulder.
Oliver smirked. Abigail noticed.
“Alright, that’s enough,” Abigail chimed in, silencing the two men. “Edward, you are clearly not ready for this.” Edward opened his mouth to protest but was quickly shut down as Abigail glared at him. “Do not even attempt to argue. You’re not going to fight Oliver.” Abigail turned away from the captain to face the Lieutenant. “I am.”
~~~~~
“This is ridiculous, Abigail.”
Abigail promptly ignored Oliver’s protest as she walked back out onto the topdeck with her - Robert’s - sword now at her side. 
“I’m not going to duel you,” he continued to argue even as Abigail braided her long hair.
Once her hair was tucked back and out of her face, she looked over to him. The rest of the crew, who had been busy with their morning routine, had now halted all activity and were staring at the two. The only person missing was Edward who had disappeared back below deck after Abigail scolded him when he continued to argue with her on the matter. After his third attempt at proving he could fight, Abigail deftly unbuckled the belt that held his sword, allowing it to drop to the ground as he huffed in anger. He retreated shortly after, but not before Kendrick picked up and handed the weapon back to his captain.
“It’s sparring practice,” Abigail stated, refusing to back down, “I would hardly call it a duel. We need to be prepared, just like Maggie said.”
She wasn’t able to decipher Oliver’s expression. Was it doubt? Maybe concern? Or maybe even fear? She took several steps forward until they were mere inches from each other. She searched his face and she could tell he did the same.
What was he looking for?
The pair were close, she could feel his breath warm against her forehead, rustling the few loose strands that were not pulled back with the rest of her hair. This close, she could finally read the look he gave her - pained.
He leaned in, voice dropping low enough so the others around them couldn’t hear. “I promised I wouldn’t hurt you, Abigail.”
She could have melted and dripped into the deep sea below at the tenderness in his voice. For a split-second, she reconsidered. But that notion was quickly washed from her mind and she looked into his eyes - bold, brown and beautiful. A roguish smile spread across her lips as she took a step back from him, fingers brushing against the hilt of her blade.
“Don’t worry,” she started, her grip tightening, “you won’t.”
Oliver gave her a cursory glance and to her surprise, he smiled. She didn’t miss the way his pupils dilated or the coy smirk that graced his lips before he spoke.
“Very well,” he stated resolutely. His hand went to his rapier sword, slowly pulling it from its scabbard. Abigail mirrored his actions and the two squared off, swords hoisted in front of their bodies.
For a moment, everything around them went quiet. The crew was silent and even the familiar sound of ocean waves and creaking wood were drowned out. As if the universe knew that concentration was key. As if it knew that the only people remaining in this world - in this moment - were Oliver and Abigail.
“Ready?” Oliver asked as he flicked his wrist ever so slightly.
Abigail nodded.
“En garde!”
The noise of boots gliding across wood was the first sound. The second was a resounding clang as steel on steel echoed across the deck. Oliver’s sword was held out front where he caught Abigail’s thrusting blade. The pair locked eyes and a mischievous smile played across Abigail’s face.
She went to open her mouth, a slew of sardonic comments just begging to be released. But before she could speak Oliver spun out of her reach, thrusting his blade forward to her side. Abigail dodged just in time, trying to counter his strike which was blocked again.
For several minutes this dance went on. A multitude of swiping blades, clashing metal and parry upon parry were traded between the two. Just when one of them thought they had the upper hand, the other would come in hot, deftly blocking any arc or swipe and countering just as quickly.
“That’s it, love!” Charlie yelled from the sidelines.
“Give ‘em hell, lass!” Axton joined.
“You’ve got this, sir!” Officer Alvarez chimed in from where he stood atop the quarterdeck next to Adelia.
Abigail smirked as she pressed hard, pushing the Navy man back along the deck. They made a full circle around the mast. She was tired. The sun bore down on her, the heat zapped the strength from her body and caused sweat to bead down her face and nearly into her eyes. She almost missed the arc that came into her left side, but she quickly recovered, blocking at the last moment and pushed with all her might.
All the other noise around her disappeared again. The only sounds remaining were the clash of their blades, the sizzle of sun on her skin, the rushing of blood in her ears and the heavy pants that escaped both her and Oliver’s lips.
Suddenly she had a second wind. Another burst of energy. She allowed Oliver to push forward, pressing her back towards the wooden walls of the ship. He was fast, dangerously fast. But she was cunning and calculating. A few more swipes and then - there. With as much speed and dexterity that she could muster, she made her move. She feinted right, stepping to the side and watched as Oliver took the bait. Then, in an instant, her blade shifted left and swiped against his side. He did not get a chance to block.
The next sound was of tearing fabric and a pained yelp from the blonde man in front of her. Her sword found its mark, slicing a thin, shallow line across Oliver’s rib cage. 
Then it was silent, truly silent.
Abigail’s sword faltered as she took a step back. Her heart hammered in her chest as she watched him put his hand over his side. When he pulled it away his palm was ruby red and then her breath hitched in her throat.
Oliver looked up into her eyes. She expected to see anger or even pain. But instead, there was nothing, no emotion, no feeling. Then…
Swish!
Clang!
Thud!
In an instant, Abigail's sword had been struck and dislodged from her hand, landing on the wooden deck below. She looked down at her blade in disbelief, then slowly looked back up to Oliver’s face.
He was smiling.
“Seems I have bested you, Miss Bellamy.”
Abigail’s entire face was flushed and warm. Her mouth hung open, the shock visible as she stared Oliver down. She tried to speak but was quickly silenced as she watched Oliver wince in pain, his head ducking down to look at his side.
“Are you alright, sir?”
Abigail was shaken from her stupor as Officer Doyle made his way over to his Lieutenant. The Master at Arms glared at Abigail for the briefest moment before turning his attention to his commanding officer.
“I’m fine, Doyle. No real harm done,” Oliver tried to smile but Abigail could see the way his forehead creased in distress.
Office Doyle eyed Oliver suspiciously. “Sir, I think we should at least get you bandaged up.”
Oliver merely shook his head as he sheathed his sword back at his side. Another wince and Abigail couldn’t take it anymore.
“Please, Oliver,” she pleaded, bringing the attention to her. “Let me take a look.”
Oliver began to protest but Abigail was insistent. Finally, he gave in. “Fine, there are medical supplies in my quarters.”
Relief washed over her. She bent down and picked up her sword, tucking it away to her side. She walked over to Oliver and reached out to grab his hand. “Come on, Lieutenant,” she gently tugged him along as she made their way to his cabin.
They made it about two feet when she felt his fingers lace between hers, and she smiled.
~~~~~
“I’m so sorry, Oliver.”
Abigail frantically rushed around Oliver’s cabin as she gathered all the necessary supplies to bandage up his wound. All pretense of relief was gone now that they were alone in his cabin. She gathered a pitcher of clean water, something she hoped to be the equivalent of a washcloth and a bandage roll that was tucked away on his shelf. It was times like these where she wished desperately to be back in her own time, at least with modern-day tools and medicine.
Oliver sat hunched over on the edge of his bed, his hand pressed tight against his side as Abigail had instructed. “And as I’ve already said, apology not accepted,” he replied through gritted teeth. “These things happen in a duel.”
“But it wasn’t a duel!” she scolded as she marched back over to his bed. “It was just supposed to be a simple sparring match and I went too far.”
Oliver remained silent as she placed her supplies on the floor next to the bed. Then she stood in front of him, hands on her hip, and let out a frustrated sigh.
“It’s just…” she paused, her breath was shaky and her heart pounded wildly within her chest, “I hurt you, Oliver. I caused this.” Abigail waved her hand to the gash on his side, her eyes brimming with tears.
“Oh, Abigail,” Oliver reached out and pulled her closer to him so she stood between his legs. Then he gently cupped his clean hand to her cheek. His thumb swiped away the few tears that started to stream down her face. His expression was pained again, just like before their sparring match. “Please don’t cry for me.” His voice was low and raspy, but also delicate and full of adoration.
Abigail leaned into his touch and closed her eyes. “I never want to see you hurt like this ever again.” Her voice was barely above a whisper.
“Please, it’s alright, darling.” The ache in his voice came through loud and clear and it only made Abigail cry more.
Then she heard the bed shift and then a hiss of pain escape from his lips. The warmth from his touch soon disappeared and Abigail quickly opened her eyes. Oliver was doubled over, clenching his side.
“Oliver, what-”
She was swiftly silenced when Oliver held up one of his hands, his palm still colored a deep crimson. “‘Tis nothing, I moved too suddenly.”
Abigail frowned.
This man is just as stubborn as Edward.
“I need to see it,” she stated as she took a step back from between his legs. “Can you remove your jacket?”
Oliver nodded and moved his hands to work on his buttons. He tried to ease the jacket from his shoulders but hissed in pain again. Abigail instinctively leaned forward and helped him shrug off his Navy jacket and tossed it to the side of the bed.
Abigail inhaled sharply at the sight in front of her. Toned, fair skin greeted her once his jacket was removed. Taut muscles flexed involuntarily between labored breaths. Abigail couldn’t help but think of all the Greek Gods she grew up reading about and watching on TV and how none of them compared to the man in front of her. Not even Adonis or Hercules himself could compete.
Then he groaned and Abigail’s attention went to his injured side. Her eyes grew wide at the sight. A long, thin line split the skin between two of his rib bones. The area around the gash was red, a mixture of dried and fresh blood. The skin itself was red as well, and Abigail prayed to those same Gods that the wound wasn’t infected.
With trembling hands, Abigail reached town to pick up the washcloth and placed it in the water pitcher. She wrung the excess water from the cloth then sat down on the edge of the bed beside him.
“I’m going to clean this up,” she said and Oliver nodded. Abigail reached forward but hesitated just before she touched his skin, “this is probably going to sting,” then she pressed the wet cloth to his side.
Oliver hissed through clench teeth and his body jerked slightly. After a moment of wiping, she could feel his muscles relax slightly.
“I could sure go for a pint right about now.”
Abigail let out an amused snort, “is that supposed to be a joke, Lieutenant?”
“Yes and no,” he said with a brilliant smile, which immediately turned to a grimace.
Abigail continued to wipe away at his wound until all remnants of blood were gone and all that was left was the nasty laceration. She used the rest of the water to wipe her hands then dried them off on her blouse. As she examined the gash she thanked the stars that the cut wasn’t deep.
“How does it look?” he asked.
“Not as bad as it probably feels,” she answered with a reassuring smile, “Thankfully, I don’t think you’ll need stitches. I’ll just get you bandaged up.” Abigail grabbed the bandage roll from the ground and got to work wrapping the material around his waist. Once she was satisfied that the bandage would hold, Abigail got up from the bed to put away the supplies.
“I owe you my thanks,” Oliver said as he inspected the bandage. 
“Hardly, if it wasn’t for me you wouldn’t even need it,” she replied. Oliver shot her a knowing look and instantly she softened and added, “but you’re welcome, all the same.”
Oliver smiled then grabbed his torn jacket from the bed and began to slowly throw it over his shoulders.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Abigail asked as Oliver stood from the bed.
His brows furrowed, “I can’t very well attend to the helm without my uniform.”
“Oh no, you’re not going anywhere. You need to rest,” Abigail was surprised at the motherly strict tone that she spoke with. But there was no way she was going to allow him to go back to work after what just happened. No, she had other plans.
“I’m fine,” he countered, but Abigail saw the way he winced when he took a step.
She walked over until she stood just in front of him. “I’m not going to argue with you,” she replied calmly, bringing her hands up to rest on his shoulders.
He swallowed. Hard. “Good, we’re in agreeance then.”
“I think so,” she slowly walked him back towards his bed. When the back of his knees touched the edge of his bed, Abigail pushed him ever so gently until he sat down. His hands instinctively went to her waist. The two stared at each other and for a moment, Abigail almost forgot what she was doing. He was such a sight for sore eyes - cheeks tinged pink, lips parted and pupils blown wide.
She mentally shook her head, bringing her mind back to the task at hand. She leaned forward, brushing her lips against his flushed cheek until her breath tickled his ear. She felt his fingers flex against her sides. The smell of salt and leather filled her senses. His muscles relaxed beneath her hands and she couldn’t help but smirk.
He was done for.
When she spoke, her voice was but a low murmur, “can you sit still for me, Oliver?”
There was a shift in dynamics at that moment. She more so felt than saw his head nodding in response and she knew that this time around, she had bested him.
Abigail pulled away from his ear, allowing her lips to brush against his cheek again. Then she twisted her body out of his grasp, taking him by surprise, and headed for the cabin door.
“Wh- what are you doing?” she heard him call as she opened the door.
“Taking care of the helm while you rest.”
Then she closed the door behind her, leaving Oliver alone. She waited a moment to see if he would follow her out. After a few minutes of hearing no movement from inside, she knew that her plan had worked.
With a triumphant smile - and a slight blush as she remembered his touch on her skin - Abigail walked up the steps to the helm. With minor convincing, she was able to relieve Officer Alvarez of his station and took over.
She looked over the scene that laid in front of her. The white, billowing sails atop long, strong wooden beams casting shadows on the deck. A vast, turquoise ocean that was full of mystery and wonders blanketed around them. The gold, inviting sun - a sun that previously hindered her actions - beamed down on her skin providing warmth and something akin to hope. These things were simple, refreshing and welcoming.
And as she stood tall and proud at the ship’s wheel, wind sweeping across her face, she had only one thought.
This was someplace she could call home.
~~~~~
Oliver was dumbfounded as he sat alone in his cabin. His fingertips were warm from where they dimpled into her skin. His face tingled where her lips had been. He almost forgot about the pain on his side.
Almost.
He didn’t bother to give chase. He knew she was right - because she always was. So instead of getting up to attend to his duties, Oliver decided to take her advice and rest.
Once his boots and jacket were removed, Oliver laid back on his bed, careful to mind his bandages. As he closed his eyes, visions danced in his mind of one particular pirate woman. She seemed to be the only person that crossed his mind nowadays. He didn’t mind it, not anymore. He thought about what it would be like to have that woman on his mind for the rest of his time. He thought about the days ahead and how she would handle them. He thought about what might happen if things went their way. He thought about them. A future - their future -  together.
And with those thoughts, Oliver’s body relaxed enough until he fell into a deep, worriless sleep.
~~~~~
When Oliver awoke it was dark. The moonlight streamed through his windows, illuminating only parts of his sleeping quarters.
How long had he been asleep?
He leaned up, then immediately jerked at the throbbing pain at his side. He inhaled deeply, waiting for the sudden wave of pain to dissipate before he shifted again and placed his hand on his ribs.
Ah, right.
Ever so carefully, Oliver eased himself from his bed and went to work lighting the lantern that hung above his desk. Once there was sufficient lighting, he looked down at his ribs. The bandage that Abigail had wrapped about his torso was still in place. The section of the bandage where the wound was located was slightly damp with blood, though most of it had dried and he hoped that the healing process would be swift.
Within a few minutes, Oliver had pulled on his boots and shrugged on a new jacket, tossing his torn one to the side of the room. He made a mental note to have it tailored after all this business with his father was complete.
Walking out of his cabin, Oliver was hit with the familiar sensations of being on the open sea. The brisk wind ruffled through his hair. The crash of water to wood filled his ears. The comforting scent of salted ocean spray lingered in his nose. Out in the deep, blue sea, Oliver felt calm. He felt at peace.
He felt home.
“Lieutenant Cochrane!”
Oliver turned toward the person who yelled his name. Officer Alvarez was across the deck but swiftly made his way over to his commanding officer. Oliver noted that his officer wore an uncharacteristic smile as he sidled up to him but didn’t question it.
“Evening, Alvarez,” Oliver greeted.
“Evening, sir. How are you faring?” Officer Alvarez motioned to Oliver’s abdomen. The smile he had previously worn was now turned to a worrisome scowl.
Oliver waved off his concern. “‘Tis fine.” The last thing he needed was his men to see him as weak.
His officer didn’t look convinced but before Alvarez could speak further, Oliver spoke again.
“I thought you were manning the helm tonight,” Oliver asked, his brow raised in question. “Why is Doyle up there?” Oliver waved up to the quarterdeck where Officer Doyle manned the helm. Even in the darkness, the Lieutenant could make out the glum expression on his officer’s face.
Officer Alvarez looked away from his commanding officer’s gaze, “Well, uh, I…” The officer’s voice trailed off as a hand wrapped around his waist, seemingly coming out of nowhere.
“They flipped a coin,” the comment came from the young, twin girl who always seemed to linger around Oliver’s men, “to see who would man the wheel,” Adelia smiled as she leaned in close to Officer Alvarez, “and Doyle lost.”
Oliver stared at the two, his lips quirking into the faintest smile, “I see, very well. Enjoy your evening, then.” Oliver turned around but before he could step away he heard Adelia call behind him.
“Oi, Lieutenant!” Oliver stopped and faced the pair again. “Aren’t you going to join us?”
Oliver’s brows shot up and his mouth opened and closed several times, unable to speak. Many thoughts raced through his head. He wondered how quickly it would take for him to retreat to his cabin and away from this extremely uncomfortable and embarrassing situation.
Oliver wasn’t a prude, but he certainly wasn’t a scoundrel, either.
Adelia barked out a laughed, “Get your mind outta the gutter! The crew is settin’ up in the mess hall. Heard a little rumor that rum would be involved.”
“I hope that’s alright, sir,” Alvarez hastily added, noticing the look on his commanding officer’s face.
Oliver didn’t bother to hide the sigh of relief. He pushed the thought of his officer and this woman completely out of his mind. Erasing it from his memory before it had any time to sit and manifest.
“Oh, yes, of course. Sounds enjoyable.” Oliver went to open his mouth again but quickly shut it again. He loved a good pint as much as anyone, but the company is what made it actually enjoyable.
By the look on Adelia’s face, he wondered if she knew what exactly was going through his mind.
“Everyone will be there, Lieutenant,” she assured him.
Oliver looked at the pirate girl, the smile on her face was as big as the moon above. It was infectious and Oliver couldn’t help but smile back. ”Then I’ll be there.”
~~~~~
Oliver followed Adelia and Alvarez into the bustling mess hall. He wondered, not for the first time, how a crew so small could be so loud. The hall was filled with raucous laughter and yelling. Tables, chairs and benches scraped across the wooden floor as the pirate crew pushed them into one large seating area for everyone to sit around.
His eyes roamed the space, subtly searching for one pirate in particular. Once his eyes landed on her, he smiled and then made his way over.
“Good evening, Miss Bellamy,” he greeted.
Her back was to him but she spun around at his greeting. “Evenin’, Lieutenant. How was your nap?”
Oliver hadn’t a clue what she meant. He furrowed his brows and opened his mouth to question her but the face she made let him know that she saw his confusion.
“Er, I mean, rest. How was your rest?”
“‘Twas fine,” he replied. He was feeling bold and slightly refreshed from his ‘nap’ as she had called it. He took a step towards her until their shoulders brushed together. “Though, that was an awfully dirty trick you played on me earlier,” Oliver chided, his voice low so the others couldn’t hear.
Abigail grinned and Oliver decided that he would move all the stars in the sky if it would make her smile again.
“You needed to rest,” she scolded, but her tone was playful. “I know you’re the one who usually gives the orders,” she was right up against him now, her hand brushing against his arm, “I can see why you enjoy it.”
Oliver knew then and there that death was a wicked woman with long, braided hair and a silver tongue. And he welcomed her with open arms.
“Abigail,” he warned. Oliver’s whole body shuddered at her touch. His hand instinctively wound around her waist until it found purchase on the small of her back. He leaned in close and smiled when he felt her shiver beneath his touch. “You make it very difficult for one to remain...,” he traced his thumb slowly along the grooves of her spine, “gentlemanly.”
The blush that filled her cheeks was the most beautiful color he had ever seen. Every wall in his home would be painted that color. All the flowers in his garden would be the exact shade. He would no longer dream in black and white, not when the color of rosy cheeks could fill his mind instead.
“Oliver...”
“Alright you two, give us a hand!” a little voice sounded from behind them.
As quickly as Oliver and Abigail came together, they swiftly sprung apart in surprise. Turning around they were faced with a young and feisty Ginny. She had one hand wrapped around a wooden chair, the other placed on her hip. 
“My apologies, Miss Ginny,” Oliver offered with a shy smile.
Ginny just rolled her eyes but her lips still quirked into a grin. The young pirate walked away, dragging the chair behind her. Oliver faced back to Abigail who was now bending over to pick up one end of a bench.
“Little help?” Abigail asked, raising her brow towards the other side of the bench.
With a smile, he made his way over to the other end, deftly picking up his end of the bench and helped Abigail move it to the center of the mess hall with the rest of the crew. Soon after, the pirate crew, Officer Alvarez and Oliver crowded around a long table, tankards full of rum in hand. Whether it had been fate or sheer coincidence - Oliver didn’t mind either way - Abigail took the spot on the bench just next him.
“Tell us, Ollie, how did a Navy vessel come away with so much rum?” Kendrick asked, “Always took it as more of a pirate drink.”
Oliver’s jaw clenched at the nickname. It hadn’t been the first time he heard it, but it was never one that had grown on him. He opened his mouth to respond but before he could speak, Henry cut in with the answer.
“That be my idea,” Henry started, using his hooked hand to scratch a spot on his chin, “told ‘em to have plenty o’ rum if he were plannin’ to harbor a pirate crew.”
“That so?” The twins asked concurrently before tapping their tankards together in cheers.
“Well, now that we’ve got the rum, how ‘bout an ‘ole fashioned drinkin’ game to pass the time?” Charlie suggested to the group with a grin.
There were a few cheers of agreement and nodding heads from the pirate crew. Oliver even noticed his officer nodding enthusiastically at the idea. Then Oliver turned to Abigail, only to see that she was staring right at him.
“How does that sound, Oliver?” she asked.
At that moment, the rest of the crew around them grew quiet, as if his response was the only one that mattered. And in theory, supposedly it was, considering he was the one in charge of the ship. He hesitated then looked around at the waiting faces that surrounded him. He felt the brush of something - someone - against his knee. Her knee.
And he knew, right then, that he would never be able to deny her anything.
“That sounds fantastic,” he finally relented with a smile.
Another round of cheers erupted in the room. Fists were banging on the table and rum spilled out of their tankards. Soon the group was trying to decide what game to play.
“How ‘bout Two Lies and a Truth?” Maggie suggested.
“Naw, too easy, that one,” Jonas argued.
“What about Spin the Bottle?” Adelia proposed, nudging her elbow into Officer Alvarez’s rib.
Ginny scrunched her nose, “hell no!”
“I’ve got it!” Charlie yelled over the group, “we’ll play Never Have I.”
There was a beat of silence as each person mulled the idea over in their heads. Oliver had never been one to play such frivolous games before, but he had a good idea about what this one might be.
“Phenomenal idea, Charlie,” Edward said, much to everyone’s surprise. 
More raucous cheers and Oliver wondered if he would ever get used to all the noise they made. 
“I’ve never played this one,” Ginny announced to the group. Her face had an excited and wondrous gleam to it. Oliver had thought it strange to have a child aboard a pirate ship. But then again here he was with an entire pirate crew on his own Navy ship. Things could be stranger.
“‘Tis simple, lass,” Kendrick started, “each person will say something they’ve never done and if ye have done it, you drink!”
“I’ll start!” Abigail declared, “never have I been a pirate captain.”
All eyes went to Edward who merely smirked, then took a drink from his tankard. “You play dirty, Miss Bellamy,” the pirate captain remarked.
“I think I get it now!” Ginny beamed, “can I go next?” she asked, turning to Jonas for reassurance. Jonas nodded his head and Ginny clapped her hands wildly before turning back to the rest of the group. “Never have I rode a horse!” 
With the exception of Maggie, Henry and Abigail, everyone else at the table took a drink. After Oliver took his sip, he looked to Abigail in surprise. “Truly?” he asked.
“Truly, I never have.”
“I’d love to teach you one day,” Oliver offered, his shoulder brushing against hers, “if you would let me.”
A look that Oliver couldn’t quite decipher crossed over Abigail’s face. It was brief, barely lasting a second before she smiled at him again. “I would enjoy that,” she replied.
“I’ve got one,” Axton announced, pulling Oliver’s attention away from the woman next to him. “Never have I gone swimming in the nude!”
There was a boisterous amount of laughter from the crew as several people took a drink.
“Ginny!” Jonas scolded, “why did you drink?”
“What? Of course I’ve done it! When I was a wee babe!” she countered. 
There was more laughter. But this time, Oliver found himself joining in. He started to relax. A feeling he was not accustomed to. But it was welcomed and relieving and he thought that maybe, just maybe, he could get used to it.
As the night went one, more questions and revelations were shared among the group.
“Never have I vomited over the rail of a ship,” Charlie asked. Kendrick winced as he drank.
“Never have I lost a bet,” Officer Doyle queried. Everyone but Oliver drank.
Abigail gave him an incredulous look, “I think you’re lying, Lieutenant. Are you telling me you’ve never lost a bet?”
“I’ve never been much of a betting man,” he replied coolly before leaning closer to speak in her ear, “but that could change.”
“Never have I broken a bone,” Henry proposed. Abigail, Axton and Jonas all drank.
“Never have I wanted to bag a Navy man,” Maggie asked, her gaze instantly darting to Adelia who had moved from her chair to now sitting in Officer Alvarez’s lap.
All eyes were on Adelia as she laughed and took a big gulp from her tankard. Oliver, however, glanced out of the corner of his eyes, watching Abigail’s reaction. She was quiet but the recognizable blush creeping up from her collar was all he could focus on. Then he watched as she lifted her tankard to her lips and took a small sip of her rum.
She was going to send him to a watery grave.
To Oliver’s absolute surprise - and relief - no one else had seemed to notice. Or if they did, they didn’t bother to comment on it. 
The moment was passed over quickly as the game continued. Oliver tried to focus on the question that Ginny was asking, but all he could think about was flushing skin and pouty lips resting on the rim of a tankard filled with rum. He drank from his cup after the next question was asked, even though he didn’t have the faintest idea what was asked.
More time passed, more questions were asked and more rum was consumed. Ginny was the first to go. She was quickly losing her battle against sleep and Jonas carried her off to bed. Adelia and Officer Alvarez followed suit, her hand wound tightly in his. She shot a wink at the group as they made their way out the door. After a few more departures, the game stopped and the remaining few - Maggie, Henry, Oliver and Abigail - stayed behind to finish their drinks.
“That was a blast!” Maggie exclaimed as she downed the rest of her rum. “We should do that again.”
Henry hiccuped then turned to Maggie, “yer a fool if ye think I’m ever playin’ another game with you lot.”
Oliver simply tuned out the two pirates as they continued to bicker. Twisting in his seat, Oliver turned to face Abigail who was staring ahead. She wore a huge, dopey smile which only made his heart pitter-patter in his chest.
“You’re staring.”
Oliver heard the words that came from her lovely lips, but instead of feeling alarmed from being caught, he only grinned. “That I am,” he replied, “it can’t be helped. You’re a vision of beauty.”
When Abigail tilted her head to face him, her giant smile receded to something smaller and more tender. Oliver realized then what he had said aloud.
“I, uh, it’s just... I mean...” he was tripping over his words. Somehow, after years of studies in language and manners, he was now turning into a bumbling idiot.
“Oliver,” Abigail interrupted. Her voice was so quiet, so delicate. It made his chest swell with a feeling he couldn’t possibly describe right now, given his inebriated state. But then she went and put her hand on his. “Would you like to go outside?”
Oliver blinked.
“Yes, please.”
~~~~~
Abigail had not been this drunk in a long time. Even on the night where Robert’s crew and hers had stayed up drinking and playing games. Though she thought maybe she was drunk on more than just the alcohol, she would deny it to anyone that asked. No one would ask, of course.
After bidding farewell to Maggie and Henry - who were still bickering somehow - Oliver and Abigail made their way out of the mess hall and onto the deck of The Intrepid. The moon was high above them now. The light from it and the stars illuminated the deck and reflected off the dark sea around them.
As they walked, Abigail snuck several glances to the man by her side. She also snuck a couple looks down at their hands that were intertwined between them. She wondered how in the world this could feel so right - so natural. She didn’t want to think about it too hard. In fear that maybe it wasn’t real. That she was dreaming.
“How are you feeling?” Abigail asked as they made their way to the ship’s railing.
“Are you asking if I’m as sloshed as everyone else?” he responded, a hint of a smile on his lips, “or do you want to know how my infamous battle wound is faring?”
Oh, she was loving drunk Oliver.
“I wouldn’t call it ‘infamous,’ per se,” she quipped back.
The grin he gave her was downright hedonistic.
Once they were standing at the ship’s railing, a comfortable silence fell over the two of them. The distant sound of dancing water and whipping sails could be faintly heard above her own beating heart. Whether the cause was from the alcohol or the pure adrenaline she was feeling, she wasn’t quite sure.
“I feel like I learned quite a bit about you, tonight,” Oliver said after a few minutes of silence.
Abigail nodded her head in agreement. She thought back to that first night here on the ship. When they stood in this very spot. It was wild to her that even after only a couple of days, she felt like she could tell him anything. She wanted to tell him anything.
Almost anything.
“I could tell you more,” she offered. It was partly the booze talking, but mostly it was her.
“I would like that,” he responded, his gaze falling on her face, “very much so.”
Abigail turned towards him and rested her elbow on the railing, propping her head up. “Go on, then. Ask me a question.”
“Very well,” he smiled. His thumb gently started to rub across her knuckles. He looked away from her face and instead glanced up towards the stars like he was deep in thought. After a moment his expression lit up as a question had no doubt entered his mind.
“Tell me, how did you break your bone?”
Abigail wanted nothing more than to tell him the truth. She was already hating herself for not being forthcoming with him in the first place about where she was really from. But right now, in their drunken state, she knew that the truth would be the last thing she brought up. So with the last few sober brain cells she had, she worked out a believable story that hopefully wouldn’t confuse him.
“I fell from a tree when I was a twelve,” it wasn’t a total lie, even though it was technically a treehouse. “I could tell my arm was broken. The pain was agonizing and my arm was all lumpy,” not to mention broken in several places per the x-ray she received.
“That sounds horrendous,” he stated with wide eyes.
“It was,” she agreed. A shudder wracked her body just from the thought.
“Was that the only time?” he asked, “that you broke a bone?” Abigail nodded and Oliver just hummed in response.
“Can I ask you something?” she asked and Oliver nodded in response. “How long have you been with the Navy?”
“I had just turned fifteen. It was a few months after my mother had passed. I always knew I would follow in my father’s footsteps and once she was gone, there was no reason to wait further.”
Abigail thought her heart was going to break. “Oh, Oliver, I’m sorry for asking. I didn’t mean to bring it up.”
Oliver turned to face her, but instead of pain and grief, all she saw was joy. “‘Tis no worry, Abigail, I promise. It has been so long since I’ve spoken about her. It’s actually quite… nice.”
Abigail squeezed his hand and smiled when he returned the gesture, “I’m glad, then.”
They were quiet for a moment before Abigail spoke again, “Can I ask you another question?”
“Are we not taking turns?” he jested and Abigail couldn’t help but roll her eyes. He continued, “of course, be my guest.”
“Do you have any siblings?” she asked.
“I do not,” he responded, “my mother used to tell me that ‘you can’t mess with perfection.’”
Abigail snorted, “that is so corny.”
Oliver furrowed his brow, “corny? Does that mean endearing where you are from?”
Shit.
“Oh, yes, something like that,” she mentally kicked herself for not being more careful but when Oliver nodded his head in understanding, she sighed in relief. She quickly changed the subject. “I believe you are next to ask a question.”
Oliver looked back out to the stars again, his free hand tracing the shape of his chin as he thought.
“Alright,” he said after a moment, “what am I to you, truly?”
Abigail’s head was swimming by this point, but she remembered this question. The same one he asked her all those days ago in a small tavern in Tiburon. She could even remember what her response was, as well.
“You’ll be more than a friend by the end of the night.”
The grin that he gave her just now was most definitely the same one he gave her that night. She knew he was thinking of it, as well.
“Well,” she could feel the heat burning on her cheeks, “I think I can say, in earnest, you are definitely a friend.”
“I see,” was his only reply before telling her to ask him a question.
“Are you still my eternal servant?” she asked after a moment of hesitation.
He was silent. His gaze was distant as his eyes looked out over the ocean. The steady thumping of her heart grew louder and louder as the silence dragged on. Until…
“For all eternity.”
Then her heart stopped and Abigail knew that if this was her last second on Earth, that she would die a happy and fulfilled woman. She knew, somehow, that every moment in her life led to this. So when she felt her body lean forward, she didn’t stop it. When she vaguely heard the sound of her name on his lips, she didn’t hesitate. And when it felt like her body was falling, she let it.
Except she actually fell. On the deck. Hard.
“Abigail!” there it was again, her name on his lips. Though this time it was frantic and full of alarm. “Are you alright?”
She felt his touch on her back rubbing soothing circles along her skin. “I’m- I’m fine.”
She was most definitely not fine.
“I think that’s enough excitement for one night,” he commented as he helped her back to her feet. “May I walk you to your cabin?”
Abigail only nodded in response. For fear that her mouth would betray and embarrass her. Oliver reached out for her hand again, lacing his fingers with hers. Slowly, they walked together to her cabin.
“You don’t have to be embarrassed,” Oliver said. It was as if he could read her mind - which wouldn’t be the strangest that could happen to her given the past few weeks.
“I’m not,” she lied.
She was too nervous to look him in the face, but she could feel his skeptical gaze boring into her. But as they walked, and as Oliver continued to glide his thumb over her skin with tender strokes, Abigail let the embarrassment wash away. Soon they stood outside her cabin and by then she had already forgotten about her little ‘spill’ on the deck.
The alcohol probably had something to do with her memory loss, as well.
“Would you like to come in?” she asked, the question catching both of them off guard.
Oliver smiled, then blushed but eventually frowned and shook his head.
“I don’t think that to be wise tonight, Abigail.”
For a moment, she felt hurt. As they stood outside her cabin, Abigail thought back hazily through the past few days and wondered if she had misinterpreted everything. All the indirect glances, subtle flirting and intimate touches. Had she crossed a line? Had she got this wrong?
She looked up into his eyes, hoping that he couldn’t sense the tears she was now holding back. But then his face turned to something akin to concern.
“Oh, Abigail, I just mean…” his voice trailed for a moment and the way he looked, she realized that maybe he knew exactly what she was thinking. “What I mean is, given our current state, tonight might not be the best night to, well, go any further than this.” He held up their conjoined hands, she assumed to emphasize what ‘this’ was. He continued, “I don’t want you to think I would take advantage of the situation.”
Realization quickly dawned on her. Not only was he handsome, smart and kind. He also knew what consent was and goddammit if that didn’t make Abigail want him more.
“You really are a gentleman,” Abigail replied and a wave a relief washed over her when he smiled at her comment.
“Would I lie to you?” he asked, then just as quickly as he said those words, he spoke again, “don’t answer that.”
Abigail laughed, “Alright Lieutenant, I think it’s time we both get some rest.”
“Agreed,” he said, giving his head a little nod.
Abigail went to pull her hand from his but felt his grip tighten lightly. Then he lifted her hand - while never breaking eye contact - and brought it to his lips. There, he left a lingering kiss against her knuckles and smiled against her skin.
“Goodnight, darling.”
She was barely able to choke out the word ‘goodnight,” as her breath caught in her throat. Oliver released her hand then she felt him watch her as she entered her cabin.
Once Abigail closed the door, she leaned her back against it and let out a deep sigh. It took almost a full minute for her to hear his footsteps walking away from her door. She smiled to herself as she got undressed and crawled into her bed. She turned on her side, tucking her hands under her head and within minutes she was out. Any thoughts of the Admiral, Robert or the future were long gone.
Everything was Oliver.
~~~~~
A/N: If you enjoyed this, please leave a like, comment or reblog. Thank you for reading! Let me know if you would like to be tagged.
Tagging:  @jaxsmutsuo​, @krishu213​, @greedy-choices, @imrookieramsey, @choicesficwriterscreations​
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targaryenimagines · 4 years
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SFW Alphabet: Viserys Targaryen
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(Important Note: This isn't a nice happy SFW Alphabet. There is mentions of abuse and neglect in this, which follows Viserys character type. I just wanted to warn you all before you continue.)
A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)
Viserys isn’t the most affectionate person, and the only time he ever truly shows affection is when he is trying to claim you. He doesn’t much care if you’re alone in a room, but the moment someone shows interest in you (even if its harmless) he’s by your side in an instant. His arms wrapping around your waist in a tight embrace. His features set into a smirk you are all too familiar with. Sometimes you wish the person would just stay and save you, but no one ever does. 
B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)
This would entirely depend on if Robert’s Rebellion happened or not. 
If it didn’t then Viserys would be the most supportive and caring friend you could ever ask for. Yes, he may have quite a temper but it was never directed at you. More often than not it would be because some was being cruel to you and being disrespectful. An event that wouldn’t be that uncommon since you were a simple servant within the castle. The young prince taking a liking to you and becoming your unlikely protector from all the other servants. And while it did cause you to be ostracized you wouldn’t change anything. Viserys was your best friend and nothing would ever change that.
Now if the Rebellion did happen then everything would change. You would watch as bit by bit Viserys lost himself. His eyes growing dimmer and dimmer the more he lost, and there was nothing you could do but stand by him. Trying to support him in any way that you could, but even then that wasn’t enough. Soon your job was protecting Daenerys from his wraith. His fury turning on you with all the fire of a dragon, and there was nothing you could but take it. Trying to remember the sweet, charming boy that had protected you oh so long ago. 
C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)
Viserys hates to cuddle but he does like to make sure that you’re near him. While you’re not in his arms, he does have one arm stretched out to make sure that you are there. He doesn’t want you to leave him when he isn’t aware of it. Apart of you wishes that it was because he still loved you, but you know that it was because he didn’t want anyone else to have you. 
D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)
Viserys doesn’t see the point of learning to cook or clean. He has servants that listen to his every wish, and he also has you if he has no one else. It’s a fact that he relishes greatly and never wants to live without. His joy only growing more when he fantasizes about what it would be like when he sat on the Iron Throne. 
As for whether or not he wants to settle down? You hope that you aren’t alive long enough to become his spouse. 
E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)
Viserys would be cold and uncaring as he stares at you. His violet eyes shining in the dim light of the room but, unlike yours that were shining with tears, his were shining with the sort of vindictiveness you had come to expect from him. It was a sight that caused your heart to twist in your chest, and if you were being honest you weren’t even crying because you were losing him. You were crying because now Daenerys would be alone with him, and that’s something you couldn’t handle. The sweet young girl had done nothing wrong in her life, and she did not deserve what Viserys was doing to her. But, you could do nothing as Viserys had his men throw you out on the street. Your body slamming into the ground causing a pained grunt to escape your lips, and before you can let one more cry leave your lips the doors slam closed behind him. A sight that caused a new wave of tears to escape your eyes.
You had failed Daenerys in every way possible. 
F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)
The moment he takes the crown he would want to marry. To finally show everyone that you were his in every possible way. Even though your skin crawls at the thought of being tied to him for the rest of your life. 
G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)
Viserys is about as gentle as a hungry dragon. If he sees something he doesn’t like he will tell you without care of your feelings. He wants you to look your best so you don’t embarrass him, and would even make you change however many times he wanted until he deemed you appropriate. As for whether or not he’s gentle physically? He doesn’t say “Don’t wake the dragon” for no reason.
H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)
Viserys appreciates hugs when they’re on his terms, and they’re probably not the type of hugs most are used to. Especially when it involves someone's significant other. Viserys isn’t a warm hugger nor is he affectionate when he hugs. His arms are tight but they don’t make you feel safe and protected. The hold makes you feel like an object that must be protected at all costs. His arms are like iron bars made flesh, trapping you within their embrace. No escape in sight and filled with warmth… no heat would be the better word. Because there is nothing warm about Viserys. 
I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)
You were the one that said “I love you” first, unsurprisingly, and Viserys did react in his own way. Not the way you had wanted, but any reaction from him that’s not filled with anger and malice is a good one. Though he uses the love you have clearly shown to him against you. Maybe not in obvious ways but he definitely tries to manipulate you into doing things for him. (He takes him awhile to say it back… not that you were expecting him to.)
J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)
A jealous Viserys is something that you try to stay away from as much as you can. If Viserys is normally in a bad mood then him becoming jealous is absolutely apocalyptic. Sadly it does happen quite often when anyone shows you interest, even when all you want to do is talk to them. His rage glowing as brightly as the sun of the Red Waste and just as scalding. He makes sure the person he has deemed as his adversary knows that you’re his, and later in the night he makes sure that you know too. (Not that you can forget the careful planning of outfits to hide the bruises.)
He also gets upset if you spend too much time with Daenerys, which is a whole other story. 
K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)
Viserys kisses with the intent to claim and nothing more. He hasn’t kissed you with any real emotion in a long time. Gone were the long and loving caress of his lips against yours. His lips were now demanding against your lips, as if he thought he had the right to them. Though your lips aren’t his favorite place to kiss you… that would be your neck. It’s the best vantage point for everyone to see the marks he leaves behind. 
Viserys likes to be kissed on the lips and his cheek, but he’s feeling petty he will only allow you to kiss his hands. 
L = Little ones (How are they around children?)
Viserys should never be around children. EVER. He can barely take care of Daenerys as it is, you would never trust him around any other child. Even if it was your own. 
M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)
Viserys usually is gone before you wake because he has important things to do. He has his future conquest to plan and people to order around. You would be lying if it didn’t fill you with relief that you were left alone. Even if it was for such a short amount of time each day. It gave you the chance to cry without anyone overhearing. 
N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)
You normally do what Viserys wants you to do. If Viserys wishes to have sex then that is what you do. If he wishes for a quiet night than that is what he gets. You have learned your lesson when it comes to that. 
O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)
Viserys only reveals things about himself when it’s of benefit to him. The only time he ever gave anything openly to you was back in Westeros and in the earlier days of Essos. 
P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)
Don’t wake the dragon, is a phrase you hear with a common occurrence. Either being directed at you or Daenerys, and having the same results in the end. 
Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)
If it’s not important to him then he doesn’t remember. 
R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)
Viserys doesn’t really have a favorite moment in your relationship. Maybe if he was in his right mind he would say back in the earlier days in Essos where you both would talk for hours. But none of that matters now because all he truly needs to be happy is the Iron Throne. 
S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)
Viserys is very protective, but not in a warm and fuzzy type of way. He’s very controlling and when he gets protective you’re not allowed out of his sight for even a moment. More often than not you would be locked in your shared bed chambers with barely anything to do. His sense of protecting you is very, very skewed. 
T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)
He asks the servants to get you something from the market or to make you a meal that he thinks is your favorite. But at least he remembered… right?
U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)
Anger. Viserys is known for his awful temper and it’s something that you’ve always been terrified of. The fear you have for not only yourself but Daenerys, and any of the servants that even look at him when he’s in that mood, is all consuming. After one of his fits you’re not surprised to see the bruises that mark your skin because of it. Purple is one of the only constants in your life. 
V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)
Viserys cares more about his looks than he does you. He’s the future King of Westeros so he has to look his best at all times. 
W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)
The long answer? Viserys would feel like something was missing with you gone, but not be affected by it at all. Nor would he care all that much for very long. Deep inside of himself, however, a small piece of him that hasn’t withered away yet cries out for all that he’s lost.
The short answer? No.
X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)
Hopefully Viserys would one day realize what he has done to you, and try to make up for it. Getting down onto his knees and begging for your forgiveness.
Or before he dies he begs for you, not Daenerys, and you simply watch as the gold comes down. 
Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)
Disloyalty. Viserys wants someone that is completely loyal to him in every single way. Maybe even stupidly loyal to be honest. 
Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)
Viserys is a heavy sleeper because he doesn’t stir at all during the night. His breathing remaining even and calm throughout. It’s either that or he just ignores you as you cry yourself to sleep every night. 
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Morning News
Raphael and Magnus make it a tradition to have breakfast together on wednesdays.
It's Raphael's preferred time to tell Magnus about his love life.
Read it on Ao3
Relationships: Magnus Bane & Raphael Santiago, Meliorn/Raphael Santiago, Simon Lewis/Raphael Santiago, Maia Roberts/Raphael Santiago, Isabelle Lightwood/Meliorn (mentioned briefly), Raphael Santiago & Madzie Loss (mentioned), Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood (mentioned)
Rating: T
“So, you’re dating Meliorn now,” Magnus says, casually, as he adds criminal amounts of sugar to the leaves for his morning tea. Usually, he conjures it up, but there’s a secret little pleasure in making his own tea sometimes, one that he finds himself wanting to indulge in when Raphael comes over for breakfast. Maybe because it feels like a normal routine with his family, and he knows it’s important for the both of them to be able to touch and make their food sometimes. Maybe because Raphael always looks at him like he’s committing murder as he does it. It’s anyone’s guess, really.
“That’s disgusting,” Raphael says, almost automatically at this point, as he also pours sugar and cinnamon into his coffee water. It’s not sugar, it’s piloncillo, Raphael’s voice answers automatically into Magnus’ head, even as neither of them say anything. And I don’t leave it at the bottom of the cup, I just put it in the water. What’s even the point of leaving sugar at the bottom?
It changes the taste, Magnus would say. Bullshit, Raphael would answer, before going on a rant about how he needed to make his coffee in a clay pot or else it would be pointless.
Family traditions. They did them both good.
“If you find that disgusting, I’d suggest that you don’t date them, then,” Magnus jokes.
Raphael rolls his eyes. “I’m talking about your weird sugar leaf thing.”
“It’s called tea.”
“Is it, though?”
“So judgy,” Magnus mumbles, “One would think you’re the black coffee, no sugar type. Instead you’re pouring entire blocks of sugar into your coffee water.”
“It’s piloncillo.”
“That’s a block of sugar.”
“No.”
“It literally is.”
“Besides, this coffee is way stronger than black coffee.” Raphael continues, like Magnus hasn’t just made a great point. “But it actually tastes good. It’s the best thing to lift you up in the morning. Tea doesn’t do anything.”
“That’s black tea,” Magnus argues. “It has caffeine.”
“As in, the substance that comes from coffee?” Raphael asks, utterly unable to stop a smile from breaking out.
Magnus huffs and resists the urge to throw something at him. It’s hard to be mad when Raphael’s smiling so wide, big and carefree like Magnus barely got to witness before. When he got to Magnus’ loft today, he practically had a skip on his step, visibly straining not to move around the house at superspeed like a fledgeling struggling to control themself. He burst all the windows open, as he always did, basking in the sunlight as he brewed his morning coffee. For three years he had been a daylighter, and it still seemed to be just as exhilarating to feel the sunlight.
Magnus can’t blame him.
Besides, he’s only recently become able to drink again - thanks to Madzie and a potion she had designed for that specific purpose. It isn’t perfect; it only allows him to drink, and a limited amount per day, and the addition of solid foods like piloncillo could make him sick if he wasn’t really, really careful about dissolving them. Still, the first time he managed to make himself café de olla, he cried to the point of shaking in Magnus’ arms.
I used to be a morning person, he had told Magnus once. The early sunlight and café de olla used to be what got Raphael to start his day, made him feel alive. He had lost both of them.
And now he had them back.
He watches Raphael as he laughs to himself a little longer, sunlight covering his frame and making it look as if it's Raphael himself who shines. “I’m glad you’re happy,” he says.
Raphael’s laugh turns into a smile, soft on every edge like he can’t get enough of it. “Yeah,” he says.
“Does Meliorn have anything to do with that?” Magnus asks teasingly as he takes the first sip of his tea.
“Maybe,” Raphael hums. “Yeah. Yeah.”
Magnus sits on his chair, takes another sip of his tea, pretends his smile is just because it tastes good. “Tell me about it,” he says.
Raphael looks unsure, in the way he always does when he has to put feelings into words, even when it’s just him and Magnus. Magnus has a sneaking suspicion he doesn’t know how to do it when he’s alone, either. He signals towards the chair, and Raphael smiles gratefully, taking a sip of his coffee and sighing in content.
“I trust them,” he says after a few moments of uncertainty. “I know it doesn’t sound like much, but… I haven’t trusted someone like that in a long time.”
Magnus hums. “You can’t have a relationship without trust.”
“I know,” Raphael says. “It’s, it’s almost weird. In a good way, I suppose. With me, they’re always so- honest. I know they can’t lie, and I also know that they can deceive, and trick, and that they’re good at that. But with me, they’ve always been. Straightforward. But open. You know what I mean?”
Magnus nods. “It’s the seelie way. Once they trust, they don’t see any reason to hide their meaning.”
Raphael smiles again, looking warm in a way that has nothing to do with the coffee, or the sunlight. “I suppose.”
“Trust me. I’ve been in relationships with them before. The wordplay, the twisting… It’s a way to protect yourself. Truth can make you vulnerable, and seelies are tied to that vulnerability. If they choose to let go of those… It means a lot to them.” He pauses, “it’s not really that different from the rest of us.”
“It isn't,” Raphael says.
“So do you trust them to see your truth, then?”
Raphael pauses. “I’m trying. Words aren’t- I’m not good with them.”
Magnus hums again, understanding in a way that’s almost too real for Raphael to handle. “Words aren’t the only thing you can use to speak, my boy. I’d say they might be the least important one.”
“I know,” he agrees. “I’ve tried- flowers. I know that they mean a lot to seelies. I picked them by meaning, but I tried to make a pretty arrangement, I kept them all healthy. Meliorn liked them.”
Magnus thinks it would be a shame to hide his smile behind the teacup again, so he doesn’t. Raphael looks a little sheepish, but not really embarrassed; more like he can’t believe that he’s enjoying all of this. “And what flowers did you choose?” Magnus asks.
Raphael bites his lip and looks away, and Magnus is sure that he would be blushing if he could. But he answers without any more prompting. “Peony. Happy life. Fern; sincerity, magic, and bonds of love. Hydrangea - gratitude for being understood. Cornflower…” the next words leave him in almost a whisper, “be gentle with me.”
Magnus whistles involuntarily, reaching out to grab Raphael’s hand on the counter. Raphael lets him, opens his palm and lets Magnus’ thumb draw circles over it, even if he’s still not looking at him. “That’s a powerful combination. I’m proud of you.”
Raphael scoffs, and that won’t do, so Magnus continues. “I mean it. It’s very honest. Very vulnerable. I don’t know if I’d have the courage to hand someone a bouquet like that.”
“I know,” Raphael says, “but I wanted to.”
“And for that, I’m proud.”
Raphael smiles again, but once his eyes meet Magnus’ again, it’s morphed into a serious expression. “Thank you,” he says.
“Did Meliorn answer?”
“Not immediately,” Raphael admits, “said they wanted time to make something worthy in response. But they took them. Said, I’m touched. Kissed my hand.” He mumbles, “they do that a lot.”
“At the risk of squealing like a schoolgirl at your answer, what did they give you in return?”
Raphael smiles again. “Fennel. Flattery. Jonquil. Affection returned. White lily. My love is pure. Yellow tulip.”
“Sunshine in your smile,” Magnus can’t help but finish. It’s one of the deepest expressions of affection for seelies. It’s also secretly one of Magnus’ favorite flower meanings.
Raphael smiles, and so does Magnus. He can’t help it; Raphael glows. Meliorn is definitely not far off the mark with that flower.
“Stop looking so giddy,” Raphael says.
“How could I? My boy is living a romance!”
“Oh, stop it.”
“Some old-fashioned courtship, hand kissing, flower trading. The new generation isn’t completely lost after all.”
“Oh my God-”
“One could say you’re living a real life faerie tale.”
Raphael groans, and Magnus laughs, joyful and free. Raphael pulls his hand away and hides his face in his own arms, but it’s worth it for the way his eyes shine when he peeks back up at Magnus. Magnus will get him to admit that he likes his puns one day. He will.
Silence covers them once Magnus stops laughing, refreshing and comfortable like bed sheets on a summer night. He doesn’t mind it at all, and he knows that neither does Raphael, but once he puts his cup of tea down, he can’t help but sober up.
“And what about… Isabelle?” he asks, a little uncertain. It’s still a topic he’s unsure how to broach. He’s too close to it from too many sides, and he always feels like he’s running through a shooting when he approaches it. Even now, almost six years after it happened, after they both had time to heal, after it had been established that it wasn’t Raphael’s fault… It still felt way too sensitive to touch.
He knows it’s true too, from the way Raphael sighs. “It’s fine. I haven’t really seen her,” he admits. “We’ve been keeping our distance ever since. And Meliorn understands.” He sighs, “they have time to see us both separately.”
Magnus hums. “You know you won’t be able to avoid her forever, right?”
He expects Raphael to look mildly annoyed, but he just sighs. “I know. They built some kind of a net together, the whole dating group. They meet up every once in a while, this kind of super date. Meliorn invited me to come. They’re not pressuring me, but-” he pauses, rubbing his fingers together.
“You want to.”
Raphael nods. “It’s weird. I barely know Maia and Clary, and Isabelle and I should keep our distance, and it’s been so long since I’ve last seen Simon. But I feel like I could be part of this. Meliorn makes me think I could.”
“I thought Simon and Isabelle weren’t together anymore,” Magnus frowns.
“They aren’t. Simon and Maia are.”
“Ah. Awkward situation for Simon,” Magnus says, making a face. He feels a little guilty that he’s so out of touch with them. He’s been trying to keep in touch with New York - and being a warlock, it isn’t hard. His and Alec’s loft is both in New York and in Alicante, thanks to a little wormhole trick he did with his magic. But most of his professional life is in Alicante now, and as such, he ends up only seeing New York when he wants to be see his closest friends there - either visiting Catarina and Madzie, or having his breakfasts with Raphael - well, for him they are afternoon tea, but it doesn't matter. “Do you want to see her?” he asks after a pause.
Raphael stops, like he’s really thinking about it. “I don’t know,” he admits, “But I feel ready to see her, if that makes sense.”
Magnus isn’t sure if it does, so he gestures for him to continue. Raphael sighs, running a hand through his hair in the way he does when words fail him, like he's trying to scramble the inside of his head through the outside.
“When Izzy and I first met, I was in a more delicate state. I knew I was about to lose my sister. The world was at war. I had just started leading the NY clan, and there was so much pressure, and I was lost. Of course, shadowhunter blood is addictive on its own. But by that point… I craved anything that could bring me some relief.”
Magnus shudders like he’s been punched. “I’m sorry,” he says, almost automatically.
Raphael reaches for his hand, swiping his thumb over Magnus’ hand in a reedition of what Magnus had done to him just moments ago, and Magnus feels like a mortal father being hit with the realization that he’s old. The gesture is like Magnus’, but isn’t; it’s Raphael’s own, adapted by him. He feels a little humbled by his relationship with this boy, a boy he didn’t actually raise, but who still felt so much like Magnus himself. They were so similar and different, and Raphael had taken a lot from Magnus, but he had also made everything his. And right now, he was comforting Magnus, something that was unimaginable a few decades ago.
“It’s not your fault,” Raphael says, seriously. “It wasn’t easy for you, either.”
Magnus looks away. “I didn’t throw myself into addiction. I didn’t even notice-”
“That wasn’t your job,” Raphael cuts him off, his voice leaving no room for argument, dry and challenging and also similar to Magnus’ own. “You were there for me, Magnus. There was just - too much.”
They look at each other, Magnus feeling shattered and Raphael looking resolute. It’s a weird battle of wills, because Raphael can’t quite outstubborn Magnus’ sadness, but Magnus can’t really blame himself when Raphael leaves no room for argument like this.
Raphael draws back. “What I’m trying to say is that it’s different now. We’re relatively peaceful. Things are looking up. I’m more settled into being clan leader. They’re my family. The Dumort is a home, not a lair. I have you, and Catarina, and Madzie. And Meliorn too, now. I’m not about to risk anything, of course, but I don’t think I’d have that terrible call, that need for a hit, just from seeing Isabelle. I’m not saying it isn’t delicate, but I can manage. I have a good support network. And I know she does, too.”
Magnus snorts. “Three partners just in the romantic sphere, at this point she better.”
Raphael chuckles, then immediately freezes like he’s surprised at himself. Magnus frowns. He wasn’t expecting that reaction.
“What is it, my boy?” he asks, as comforting as he can.
“I. I guess I just thought this would be weird for you to talk about. You know, one soul at a time and all that.”
Magnus raises an eyebrow. “I’d never judge you over something like this, Raphael,” he says, sincerely. Or anyone, for that matter; but especially not Raphael, who felt almost as much a part of him as his own magic, and for whom the soft morning lit loft felt like home as much as it did to Magnus.
Raphael shakes his head, and takes another sip of his coffee, like he’s embarrassed at himself. Soon he’ll reach his intake limit at this rate, Magnus knows, and holds back a comment. Raphael can take care of himself. Besides, he’s too stubborn to listen to Magnus, when it comes to things like these.
He just has to trust he won’t go over his limit.
“I know that,” Raphael says, sincerely. “But this feels so new, even to me. I was just surprised that it came so naturally to you.”
Magnus holds back a smile at that comment. Just when he was telling himself that Raphael was an adult, now. “I keep forgetting how young you are,” he says, amused.
Raphael scowls so fast Magnus almost gets dizzy. “And what does that mean?” he says, in the threatening tone of someone who’s considering throwing a pea at you.
“Nothing bad,” he says with a dismissive hand gesture, “it’s just that, when you’ve lived long enough, you’ll see a little bit of everything. Know many cultures. See many times, and many paradigms,” he explains, “and you’ll see these paradigms get broken and die, and give place to new ones, and once the new ones emerge, people will say, well, it’s always been like this. When really, it feels like just last week it was the exact opposite,” he chuckles. “Where I was born, many people weren’t monogamous. As I grew up, I got to visit so many places, see so many different cultures. We call monogamy ‘traditional family’, but it really hasn’t been around for all that long. I couldn’t be unfamiliar with it if I tried,” he says sincerely.
Raphael’s smile is tentative, shy, like he’s simultaneously thinking himself an idiot and not daring to believe. “I guess. It just always seemed so… Set in stone, to you.”
“Well,” Magnus pauses, trying to gather his thoughts. “For me, yes. I’ve always been- dedicated, when it comes to love. It isn’t always a good thing,” his eyes run away from Raphael’s at these words, almost on instinct, and he makes the effort to look at him again, “But it is a choice, above all. I choose to keep one relationship at a time. I choose to follow this model. I think it’s what fits me the most, really. But I’m not everyone. And I’m definitely not you.”
Raphael might be a part of Magnus, but that doesn’t mean he belongs to him. It only means that Raphael’s happiness is as much of Magnus’ happiness as his own. And as similar as they are in every other aspect, Magnus knows that their relationship with love is very different - with Magnus giving it away almost unhealthily, and Raphael holding it so close to his chest it threatens to suffocate him, wanting to be let out, yet scared to.
“So, it doesn’t feel weird to me. Your partner could have a hundred others, I wouldn’t care. As long as it does you good, that’s all that matters, cariño.”
Raphael’s response to the term is immediate, and fills Magnus’ chest with warmth. A wide, happy smile, that he doesn’t try to hide, that crinkles the corners of his eyes and has his shaking his head slightly, happily.
“And it definitely is doing you good,” Magnus decides. It’s no secret to him that Raphael likes it when Magnus speaks spanish to him, even if it’s just the little “dear” - it’s what family feels like, Raphael had said, and Magnus had to pretend he wasn’t bursting from joy and flattery at the comment - but it’s definitely new to see him be so unguardedly appreciative of care.
“Yeah,” Raphael answers, and that’s news, too. “I think it is, kasih.”
Magnus smiles big and wide, and the rest of the morning passes by with them gossiping, happy and home.
*
It’s bordering on two years later when Raphael brings another update.
Well, that’s not exactly true; he’s heard a lot about his other dates with Meliorn, about the first few times he joined the ‘polycule’ game night, about how he slowly started to attend more and more, slowly making a new family for himself there. He’s been there to listen to Raphael talk about the hard conversations he’s had with Izzy, and see them slowly grow to support each other, although from a distance. He’s seen her apologize to him, and Alec, too, for assuming it was his fault, and seen him accept the world’s most awkward hug from Alexander for precisely ten seconds. They aren’t close, and Magnus doesn’t know if they’ll ever be, but they’re okay, and that’s enough. He’s recently become Maia’s right-hand at Taki’s, adding a bit of mexican cuisine and culture to the place, and using it to cook for the homeless at night. Him, Meliorn, and Izzy have been alternating with helping her with her studies when necessary, too (Clary and Simon are not a good combination for that). Him, Simon and Maia are also working on a specific vampires-werewolves alliance, which’s been blossoming. The NY clan is looking more beautiful than ever, with a real living room with games and couches and space, and a lot of colorful decoration to make up for the lack of sunlight, thanks to Raphael’s best efforts. He’s been building family out of everything he touches, he’s been planting their own ingredients for Taki’s, and there’s always a new flower whenever Magnus visits him.
Okay, so he’s had a lot of updates. And all of them are important, and special, and fill Magnus’ heart with joy and pride, that his wonderful boy is building such a happy life for himself.
But this one has him particularly excited. He’s a romantic. Sue him.
It’s Raphael who brings it up, a little dazed as he goes through the steps of making himself pan dulce. It feels familiar, but not; he’s made it many times over the last few years, but never here, in Magnus’ loft, much less for himself.
“So,” he swallows. “Madzie perfected her potion.”
Magnus ceases all movement. “I know,” he says carefully, relaxing his stance and leaning against the counter, close to him. He already knew it, of course, having helped the little girl make her present for her “big bro”. But he also knew what that meant for Raphael. He could eat solid foods now, of any type, as much as he wanted; as long as he took the potion beforehand. For the last year, Raphael had rejoiced in being able to drink, but he knows Raphael’s fondest memories are related to food: to the spices that he grew so carefully at Taki’s, that Maia had caught him smelling longingly more than once. To the crunchy texture of the chicharrones de harina he and his sister used to steal from each other’s plates; to pan dulce in the morning, and pozole in the cold nights. He knew it was overwhelming, and that he had spent the last two weeks - Magnus had missed their weekly breakfast the previous week due to an emergency in Alicante - cooking and eating everything that he could, like he was afraid it’d be torn from him again.
So, Magnus knows it means a lot, and wants to take it seriously.
He puts a hand on Raphael’s shoulder as soon as he puts the pan dulce in the oven. Raphael turns to him, his eyes full of so many things Magnus can’t think to describe them.
He knows it’s not bad, though. Tentative, and vulnerable, but lively.
“I tried it for the first time with Simon,” he says, “we cooked together. It was - nice.”
Magnus nods. “I imagine it was overwhelming.”
“It was,” Raphael answers almost immediately, fidgeting a little with his hands, not looking at him, “but good. Even… Fun.”
“I’m glad,” Magnus answers, honestly, waiting for whatever it is to come out.
It does. “Simon and I are dating now.”
“Ah,” Magnus says, smiling wide, “well, I’m not shocked.”
Raphael huffs. “I’m starting to get tired of this reaction.”
“I can pretend to be surprised, if you want,” Magnus offers, eyes way too innocent.
“No, you’re a bad actor.”
Magnus stares at him in open shock. Raphael snorts. “Well, then,” Magnus says, “I’ve always known. It was a matter of time, really. From the first time you laid eyes on each other-”
“Oh, stop it,” Raphael says, swatting a little in his direction like he’s trying to smother him. “There’s no way Simon and I could’ve been a thing with all the-” he makes a disgusted gesture, “shitstorm that was going on.”
Magnus smiles, but relents. “I know,” he admits. Times weren’t kind when the two of them met each other. “But I’m glad things are better, now.”
Raphael’s lips twitch. “Yeah,” then his eyes meet Magnus’ again. There’s joy there, and something that looks almost like pride. “He’s grown up a lot, you know.”
Magnus laughs. “He better have, if he wants to date an 80 year-old.”
“I thought I was young?”
“Oh, you’re a baby,” Magnus says, his voice just hinting slightly at a talking-to-dogs tone.
Raphael scowls, and Magnus can’t help his stupid giggles. Because he’s stubborn and also nowhere near as mean as he’d like to pretend to be, Raphael crosses his arms and waits until Magnus is done to continue.
All it takes is for Magnus to straighten up and do a little sign with his hand, and he’s back where they left off. “He annoyed me, because he was so - self-centered. He didn’t understand what was at stake, and he didn’t care to. He almost got me killed.”
Magnus hums, suddenly somber, urging him to go on.
“He’s apologized for that, and he’s - there’s this thing, about him,” Raphael confesses, “he’s observant, and he cares, and he worries way too much, but he also forces me to be honest with myself, and he’s there for me as I do it, and it’s- freeing. And he understands, and he likes all that stuff from when I was a kid, and he’s so-” he stops, pressing his fingers together.
Magnus takes Raphael’s hands in his, trying to give him some of the comforting pressure he needs. He seems to relax a little, and smiles at him, grateful. “I know,” Magnus says.
“I’m- really glad, to have him.”
Magnus smiles. “Me too,” he answers, and it’s one of the most truthful things he’s ever uttered. Their entire group has done wonders for Raphael. He’s nothing if not grateful for how they’ve welcomed his kid.
“Tell me how it happened,” Magnus says, when it becomes clear Raphael is struggling to find other things to say. He lets one of his hands go in favor of leaning a bit against the counter again, but otherwise keeps stroking his hand with his thumb, and Raphael lets him.
He still grimaces, though. "Can't we do that after we eat?"
"We both know the pan dulce is going to be in the oven for another half hour, so no." Magnus chuckles, "don't look at me like that, you played yourself here."
"Fine," Raphael grumbles, even as his eyes turn soft. “We had agreed that we would try the potion together, so I went to his apartment. I didn’t want to tell the clan before I had a chance to test it, and disappoint them. And I didn’t want to try it alone, and be disappointed. So I wanted to be with someone who understands,” Raphael exhales, “Besides, I know he misses food, too. We all do.”
Magnus just nods, letting Raphael tell the story at his own pace. They both know he knows that. He also knows that Raphael’s been making the potion all but by the bulk in the Dumort, making sure everyone in the clan gets to have some. In his first “feast,” he cooked for all of them. It also comes with every meal a vampire orders at Taki’s.
“I was so nervous,” Raphael continues, “Meliorn tried rubbing my shoulders before I went, which was nice, but stopped working the second I left.” He tries not to smile at the memory, now that the nervousness is gone and everything worked out. He had worried, in the past, that he’d never be able to love, to be loved, because he wasn’t interested in sex, or kisses, and because he had such a hard time with words. What form of love is left, he had asked himself.
He was reminded of the answer to that whenever Meliorn rubbed his shoulders, hugged him from behind and kissed the junction of his shoulder and neck. Nothing to it but it.
It was everything.
“Why didn’t they come with you?” Magnus asks, interrupting his musings and raising his eyebrows at him.
“It didn’t feel fair. Maia couldn’t be there for Simon, because she had a test, and Becky too,” Magnus makes no comment on Simon’s sister being Becky to Raphael, “And Meliorn- I don’t want to say they don’t understand, because of course they do. They’ve survived massacres, seen cultures die, species end, seen the Seelie realm become isolated as a result of it. But the food thing is so specific, and Simon gets it.”
Magnus nods, a little pained at Raphael’s words, knowing this is a pain he could never quite help Raphael with. “Of course. He’s been through it, too.”
“No. Well, yes,” Raphael shakes his head. “He knows what it’s like to lose food, but he also understands what it means to have it. He’s told me about the day his mother taught Becky how to bake Challah, how nervous she was. And he’s told me about the tradition of gifting food, and Purim, and all the foods that are associated with holidays, and I know that he knows. Food is family. Food is love,” then, almost in a whisper, but still meant for Magnus to hear, “it meant a lot to me to cook for him, too.”
Magnus keeps stroking his hand. “What did you make?” he asks.
“Is it weird that I chose pozole?” there’s an almost self deprecating smile on Raphael’s face, but it edges more on humor than on pain, and Magnus feels proud of him, “Simon made hamantaschen. It’s holiday food. I mean, he can eat when it’s not a holiday, but it’s,” he makes a vague hand gesture, “fancy. Pozole is just soup.”
“No, it’s not,” Magnus says, seriously.
“No, it’s not,” Raphael sighs. It was always his favorite dish. His mom used to make it to him when he was down, and once they came to the United States, he made it for her and Rosa whenever they were tired, or needed cheering up. He even made it for Magnus, a few times, when Magnus first brought him home. The first time he did it, Magnus knew that Raphael really, truly saw him as family. “But it’s still everyday food. Simon used to wait all year for Purim just so he could have hamantaschen. I ate pozole so much when I was a kid I got tired of it sometimes. But when Madzie told me about the potion, it was all that I wanted to eat.”
“There’s nothing wrong with missing the routine,” Magnus says. Raphael had always liked to follow tradition. Keep routine close to his heart. Let it ground him, and keep him close to what he wanted, and where he came from. “Simon missing the holiday food isn’t that different. Tradition is also in the extraordinary,” he points out.
“I know,” Raphael smiles.
A small silence envelops them, light and filled with understanding. Raphael looks glowing and tan under the sunlight, and Magnus relishes in watching him be so open. Call him biased, but to him his boy looks almost as warm as the sunlight. His happiness carries life.
That doesn't stop him from shattering the moment in favor of gossip. "Well then, go on," he rushes him, something akin to mischief in his smile.
Raphael doesn't snort, but it's dangerously close. "You won't let this go until I tell you every detail, will you?"
"My dear, I vow not to."
Raphael still doesn't snort. He doesn't. "Fine," he says, lips twisting up, eyes moving around like he's trying to replace the current scenario with the one he has in his head. "I don't know. I was so tense. It had been such a long time. I kept cooking after I was Turned, of course, but I couldn't taste it, and I was so scared I'd lost my touch. And that I wouldn't find it again," he confesses. "I couldn't breathe."
Magnus makes a wounded noise. Vampires don't have to breathe, of course, but almost all of them do it anyway, out of habit and muscle memory. Helps them keep themselves centered, too. And feel human.
"It's alright," Raphael assured him, squeezing his hand back in reassurance, and Magnus feels silly for being the one to be comforted here. "But at the time I was… tense. I wanted to do it right. And Simon had made most of the hamantaschen the day before, so it was already on the oven, and suddenly it was so hard. And Simon just pulled these weird jalapeño snacks, and told me we should have some."
Magnus laughs at the mental image, and Raphael smiles fondly at the memory.
Did you choose jalapeño because I'm mexican?, Raphael had asked, amused.
I chose it because I love it, amigo, Simon had answered, handing the bag in his direction and looking at him with that wide, unwavering stare of his, as if daring Raphael not to take one.
"It's nothing like chicharrones de harina, mind you," Raphael continued, "but he started eating them at superspeed, and we ended up competing over who could have the most snacks, and it felt like it did with Rosita. I felt home. And it wasn't so hard anymore." For all Simon's criticized for being tone deaf, he's actually very observant, and socially smart. Raphael's always known that, from the beginning when he managed to get Raphael tongue tied with his unnerving honesty and attention. But it was particularly obvious, and nice, now that they were on the same side. "He helped me make the pozole. Joked the whole time. Touched my shoulder when I tasted it, as I cooked, and it felt overwhelming. I don't know."
Magnus hums, and doesn't say that yes, he does. Raphael might struggle with verbalizing what he feels, but he's always been acutely in touch with it, to the point of being unable to hide away. But that's a talk for another time.
As if proving Magnus' mental point, Raphael continues, "I already knew that I cared for him. Like I said, food is love. Eating pozole with him, trying his hamantaschen… It was special to me."
"Did he like the pozole?" Magnus asks, curious.
Raphael practically glows with pride. "He had three servings." He's stupidly pleased with himself, and Magnus doesn't need to ask if he liked it, too. "It felt like it did with my family. It was perfect."
Raphael had told Simon about it, too, as he cooked, and as he served the both of them. How he made it for his family, for his sister, how it was calming, to him.
If café de olla was what gave him energy to start his day, pozole was what brought him peace at the end of it. It was filled with the kind of precious memories that soothed him at his darkest, the kind that he was reluctant to share.
It was a deeply emotional moment, way more than he cared to put into words.
"And the hamantaschen?", Magnus asks.
"I'd never had it. It was good. Very good." It was new, but felt like a tradition at its start, that instant familiarity and connection. Felt like Simon did.
Simon was the one who cried, and it hit Raphael with the sudden realization that he'd never seen it before. He'd seen Simon stressed, and terrified, and even begging, but he hadn't seen him cry. For all of Simon's vulnerability, he also struggled to share, to choose to share. Raphael understood that better than he wanted to.
I've spent the last 7 Purims alone, he'd said. Becky was always too caught up with the rest of the family and couldn't visit him. It was a tradition that was all about people, about sharing, and he'd been locked away from it. That, too, was something Raphael understood.
He had hugged Simon, and kissed his forehead, and cried a little too, in grief, wonder, and shock, at being able to revisit and rebuild their traditions together. He has no idea how long they stayed like that, hugging and feeling, until eventually they started talking about lighter topics, and sharing laughs.
By the time Raphael let him go and sat down next to him again, their hands had already found each other's, connected by the pinkies, the casual closeness Raphael had been hoping for for so long. It wasn't a promise, but it felt like one.
But Raphael's not going to tell any of that to Magnus. He knows a secret when he sees one, even if Simon, always trusting, didn't ask him to keep it.
Instead, he says, "I was there for a long time. I wasn't planning to tell him that day, not when I knew it was going to be so emotional for both of us. But once it was over, it felt so light."
"And?", Magnus prods, feeling just like Alec always described Izzy as when they were started their relationship.
"And I asked him out," Raphael answers, short, but amused, and definitely affectionate.
Don't feel pressured to say anything. If you want to, I'll leave, Raphael had said, but now that we can eat again, would you let me take you out on a date?
Yeah, Simon had answered, a little in awe, like he was expecting this to come, but not from Raphael. Don't feel pressured to say anything, either, but can I kiss your cheek?
Yeah, Raphael answered, and in that moment, everything felt simple.
"And did you take him yet?" Magnus asks, very composed, but also feeling like his magic is going to burst and break something at any minute.
"We went on a few."
He can't help but gasp. "You've been keeping your cards from me!"
"We didn't have a chance to talk before!"
"There's always a chance if you try hard enough."
"Quit being dramatic."
"And what would I do with my life, then?"
"Don't use your shallow persona on me, you know that I know you better than that," Raphael points a finger at him.
"Such a heavy accusation," Magnus counters.
"You know it's true, dad," Raphael rolls his eyes.
Magnus' heart flutters. "What did you just call me?"
"The pan dulce is ready."
"Oh, don't be like this!"
They bicker for the rest of the morning, and the pan dulce tastes just like it used to.
*
Raphael bursts into the room confidently, absolutely beaming, and says, “I am more bi than you.”
Magnus splutters indignantly before he even processes what he just said. “No, you’re not!”
“Yes, I am,” he says, with a little tilt of his head and eyebrow raise that’s absolutely infuriating, “I’m dating a boy, a girl, and a nonbinary person. I have the complete set. You’re only dating a boy.”
“I’m monogamous,” Magnus counters, and Raphael just shrugs in response.
“Not my problem,” Raphael answers easily as he opens Magnus’ fridge and starts taking out ingredients, like he can just burst into Magnus’ home, declare himself the winner in a competition Magnus wasn't even aware of, and then take his things. Magnus idly wonders if Raphael is going to kick him out once their breakfast is over. Maybe he’ll take Magnus’ shoes too. As a treat.
Magnus crosses his arms and glares at him, and says, “besides, there are several non-binary genders. You’ve only been with one. I’ve been with plenty over my life.”
Raphael stops halfway through his rummaging. “You had hundreds of years of a head start. It doesn’t count.”
“Of course it counts!,” Magnus answers, and Raphael has the nerve to laugh at him. “You can’t just disregard my whole life and history.”
Raphael rolls his eyes. “Fine. But I will win eventually. I have all eternity, and you will spend it on the same relationship.”
Magnus sighs, uncrossing his arms, and Raphael raises an eyebrow. “I won’t spend eternity on this relationship.” Then, in an even smaller voice, “Alexander’s a mortal.”
Raphael has to actively make himself keep moving to hide his surprise. That is decidedly not the status things were in, last time Raphael had been called to help Madzie and Catarina finish their potion. Alec was beaming over his notes and books like Raphael had never seen before, and looked like he could barely hold his excitement back long enough to talk to Magnus before downing it.
He briefly wonders why Alec hasn’t told Magnus about it yet, before deciding that, whatever reason Lightwood has, it’s disgusting and ridiculous and he doesn’t want to know about it. He also makes a quick mental note to tell him to stop being a coward if things haven’t changed by next week.
“Sorry,” Raphael says, reaching out for the tortillas and salsa he had pre-made the previous evening. He could just buy some, of course, if he had no respect for anything.
Magnus’ shakes his head, knowing that his smile is still a little tight. “It’s alright,” he says. He’s being ridiculous. Alexander is barely thirty, Magnus shouldn’t feel like he’s already mourning him every time the subject is brought up. Then, eyeing the tortillas, salsa, and eggs Raphael has put on the counter, “huevos rancheros?”. Not Raphael's usual choice.
“Chilaquiles,” Raphael answers, and Magnus raises an eyebrow. Even less of his usual choice.
He only made it at Taki's when there was a special event - the kind that would have all tables drawn together and last for the whole evening. This is the kind of food that you share, Magnus, he had told him once. That you eat from the same plate.
He knew for a fact there would be only the two of them this morning - wednesday breakfast was sacred in that sense. Besides, there was no more than enough for two people (well. by Raphael's admittedly loose standarts, at least). So Raphael was in a mood. A sharing mood. A party mood.
"A girl," Magnus says, only barely resisting the urge to slap his forehead. "You're dating someone new."
Raphael smiles at him. "Took you long enough."
"I was slightly sidetracked by your sudden accusation-"
"I wasn't accusing you of anything, just singing my victory."
"-That I had somehow lost my touch," Magnus finishes. "Can't blame a man for not focusing on the juicy gossip when he's being attacked."
Raphael rolls his eyes, but he also smiles, and it looks like it fits his face more and more the longer time passes. Magnus' chest sings. "I wanted to see how defensive you'd get," he shrugs.
Magnus' face twists in a grimace. "I don't like this new trickster side of you that Meliorn's been planting," he says, even if he knows it's not really new or planted at all. Awakened, maybe. But doesn't mean he has to like it. "So. Is it Maia?" he asks.
Raphael sighs, but it looks lively, not tired. "Just once I wanted to make an announcement that would actually be a surprise," he says, cutting the tortillas into triangles. Magnus would help, except Raphael refuses to let him and is also not deserving it right now.
"I wonder how you'll pull that off," Magnus all but sing-songs, deliberately playing with his ear, "considering you're an open book."
Even Alec had noticed the way they seemed to find comfort in each other, last time he had gone to meet with the downworld cabinet in New York, and Alexander isn't exactly known for his people-reading skills. They had spent the entire night gossiping about it in bed, Magnus asking for every detail and Alec looking all too happy to indulge him, even if he had no reason to be invested himself.
"Besides," he says, a little more softly now, the teasing tilt in his voice gone, "you were never the type to fall in love. You soar. It isn't fast and sudden, it's built, so I get to watch it unfold."
Raphael's eyes widen a little, and he pauses through his cutting for a second. But Magnus knows he's pleased. "You have a point," he admits quietly, "Maia and I didn't even ask each other out. We just… Realized we were dating," he admits.
Magnus raises his eyebrows and leans on the counter, silently signaling for him to continue. He does, “It’s weird. A few years ago, I barely knew her. Now I can’t picture my life without her.” Between co-running Taki’s, the Downworld Cabinet meetings, and the werewolves-vampires alliance meetings, Maia was definitely the person that Raphael saw the most in his life, even among the rest of the little cluster. And that’s saying something. “We’ve built so much together, it’s like half of my life is tied to hers.”
Magnus nods. He knows that’s new for Raphael. He’s always given so much, but he’s rarely ever shared, and Taki’s might be the first thing Raphael’s ever built for himself, for his love of cooking, of bringing people together. And Maia was an integral part of that happiness - it meant the same to her, after all.
“And she’s so passionate, Magnus,” Raphael says, pausing through his cutting. “It’s amazing to watch. She handles so much at once, and she does it with so much love, and fierceness.”
“Sounds like someone I know,” Magnus points out, and Raphael smiles at him as he pours the sauce on the pan. He shakes his head, as if in disbelief, awe. It’s not self deprecating, and Magnus likes it.
“She’s something else,” he says, smile still on his face.
“She is,” Magnus agrees, easily. “So, tell me how this happened.”
Raphael hums as he starts to fry the tortillas. “I don’t know,” he says, honestly, “we were closing up. She asked me how things were going with the Clan, and I told her that I’d be leaving Farha in charge next week.”
“Why?” Magnus asks, furrowing his brows just like Maia did upon being asked. Raphael had always liked to share his leadership with the rest of the Clan members, taking decisions together instead of on his own; it’s a matter of both principle and practicality, considering he has a lot on his plate. But he keeps the matters of the Clan very close to himself; he prides himself a lot in his position, and he wants to be there to help guide the clan through whatever problems they face. It’s not like him to hand over the position and leave someone else in charge, even if temporarily.
“She made that same face,” Raphael points out, amused. It’s not exactly true; Magnus tended to look a lot more serious than Maia, and she did that little nose wrinkle along with the brow furrow. But the sentiment was the same. “Because she has her exams next week, and I’m not going to be able to balance Taki’s, the clan, and helping her,” he says.
“Won’t Bat be there?”
“Yes.” He makes quick work of getting the tortillas out of the frying pan, and putting them to dry, “I’m leaving most of Taki’s up to him, too. But when her exams come up, Maia can forget to eat, or sleep, or get too stressed. I want to be there for her,” he shrugs, like the gesture is obvious, “besides, I’ve heard her talk about her subjects enough to help her a little with studying. And Meliorn knows a lot about sea animals, so they’ve been helping me a little, too.”
Magnus smiles, warm everywhere, like it’s him that Raphael is doing all of this for. “That’s very thoughtful of you,” he says.
Raphael shrugs, so Magnus puts his hand on his shoulder, delicately. “It is. That’s a great gesture, my boy.”
“It’s her passion. I want to help,” he answers, looking at Magnus with something almost like confusion in his eyes.
“I know,” he answers easily, letting go of his shoulder, and Raphael gets back in motion like the touch had but put him on pause, “That’s why it’s a great gesture.” He stops for a moment, watching Raphael carefully break the first egg, throw the shells away, sprinkle some oregano on it. He knows Raphael likes to focus on this part. “What did she say?” he asks quietly, as the egg sizzles.
“She asked me what we are,” Raphael answers, not taking his eyes off the frying pan. His gaze is steady, focused, but there’s something dancing in his features, like moving candlelight. Beautiful, controlled, amused.
He can remember her, sitting at the bar stool at Taki’s, head tilted like the question was born more out of curiosity than expectation. Like it was just a formality.
He had looked at her, halfway through drying one of their last cups, and knew exactly what she meant. Whatever you want us to be, he had answered. He had never given the question any thought; not because it didn’t matter, but because it was obvious. He knew that he loved her, and that he cared for her, but somehow, he didn’t really realize what that meant until she had asked him like that: like having to ask was weird, when the answer was right there, in the way that they looked at each other.
Magnus was right. He didn’t fall for her. Not like a person who jumps off a cliff. If he ever fell, it was like a plume; so gracefully and naturally there was only the faintest hint of surprise when he, oh-so-gently, hit the ground.
I think I could do with being your girlfriend, Maia had replied, something like laughter in her eyes, casual and joyful and absolutely everything.
He didn’t have to explain to her that that wouldn’t entail anything new for them. She already knew it. And he knew she wouldn’t mind, like Meliorn didn’t, like Simon didn’t.
He was so damn lucky.
“And?” Magnus had asked, impatient, joyful, like he was about to burst.
“And we agreed that it’s romantic,” he shrugs. “Like I said, it was more realizing than actually asking each other out.”
“I’m so proud of you.”
“For what?” Raphael asks, something like amusement decorating his features even as he takes a piece of tortilla and puts it in his mouth. Magnus hadn’t even realized that he was done.
“For allowing yourself.”
Raphael smiles at him, bright and beautiful.
“Come on, give me some chilaquiles.”
Raphael wordlessly hands Magnus the plate, smile still shining all over him, eyes soft and happy and bright.
Magnus is getting more and more used to it.
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truecrimesposts · 4 years
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THE TORTURE MOTHER - PART THREE  -  The Tragic Death Of Sylvia Likens
Now living in the basement of the home, Sylvia’s lack of access to a toilet, or even to a bucket, leading her to have to urinate and defecate on the floor of the basement. Gertrude created a ‘bathing regime’ for Sylvia, which consisted of tying the girls hands and feet, dunking her into scalding hot water and then rubbing handfuls of rock salt onto her skin.
It was around this time that Gertrude got herself a ‘personal assistant’ for dealing with Sylvia, this assistance came from Ricky Hobbs, a 14 year old honor student from a middle class family nearby, who had never gotten in trouble with the law prior to this. Reportedly, Ricky’s personality changed almost as soon as he met Gertrude and the family, and it was actually rumoured that Gertrude was molesting the young boy, and using this is a way to ‘seduce’ the boy into taking the ‘job’.
It was also around this time that the neighbourhood kids really began to get involved, with the Baniszewski children overseeing and actually profiting off of their involvement. The kids would charge the kids in the neighbourhood in order to get involved, from simply seeing Sylvia naked, since she was forced to remain naked while in the basement, to pushing the young girl down the basement stairs.
As well as being kept naked, Sylvia was very rarely fed, and when she was, it was in strange almost torturous ways, such as having to eat a bowl of soup with her fingers. In place of actual food, Sylvia was fed disgusting things, she was forced by Gertrude and usually by Gertrude’s 12 year old son John Jr to ‘clean’ the basement, which entailed her collecting and being forced to eat her own feces. She would also be forced to urinate in containers and drink it in place of water.
Seeing how severe the abuse was growing by this point, Jenny managed to overcome her fear of Gertrude and actually managed to sneak a letter to the girls older sister Diana, telling her everything that was happening in the home. However, Diana didn’t take the letter seriously, believing Jenny to be exaggerating because she wasn’t happy, and instead wanted to be allowed to live with Diana and her family, and so she was in no rush to go and check on the girls. When she did go to check on the girls however, she was not permitted to enter the home, which naturally made her very suspicious and very concerned, and when Gertrude threatened to call the police, Diana hid just around the corner, hoping that Jenny or Sylvia would leave the home and walk by her. At some point she found Jenny, but the young girl was terrified and shaking and told her older sister that she wasn’t ‘allowed to talk’, before running back to the home. Diana did all she could, contacting social services and expressing her concern about the Baniszewski home. It is not known for sure whether Diana told them or showed them the letter which Jenny had sent her previously. However, when social services paid the family a visit, Gertrude claimed that Sylvia no longer lived in the home. She claimed that Sylvia had been thrown out for being a prostitute, and a bad influence on her own children, and Jenny had already been told that if she told the social worker the truth she would be thrown into the basement to love with Sylvia. Clearly a check of the home either didn’t take place or wasn’t done very thoroughly, since the social worker left the home with no concerns, and wrote a report claiming that no further visits were needed.
This is probably one of the most saddening parts of this case, is the amount of times someone or something could have put an end to this horrific abuse before it was too late.
Besides the Vermillion’s, and this social worker, there were several other people who knew and did nothing. When Judy Duke, who was 12 years old saw the treatment which Sylvia was enduring, she returned home and actually told her mother that “they were beating and kicking Sylvia”. Apparently not concerned, her mother reportedly responded that they were punishing the girl and that it was her own fault for misbehaving.
Another person who spent time in the home and expressed no concern, was Reverend Roy Julian, who visited the home more than once during this time. The first time that he visited, he drank coffee with Gertrude, who complained about Sylvia to him, claiming that she was a prostitute and that she was pregnant despite the fact that it was actually her own daughter, Paula who was pregnant. Gertrude and Reverend Roy Julian reportedly prayed for Sylvia before he left. When he returned to the home a few weeks later, he actually spoke with Paula, who admitted to having hatred in her heart for Sylvia, with Gertrude rushing to try and assure him of the opposite. The unusual behaviour and the state of the home was apparently not enough for him to think anything was wrong, and he said nothing, and reportedly never even spoke to Sylvia.
Police were actually called to the Baniszewski home on the evening of October 20th, but it was not for the crimes against Sylvia, but because a young boy from the neighbourhood, Robert Bruce Hanlon was attempting to break into the home, wanting to take back something that he believed the Baniszewski children had taken from his basement. The police did not check the home, and none of the children said anything about what was happening to Sylvia, likely partially due to how scared they were of Gertrude, especially in Jenny’s case. While the police were parked outside of the home, Phyllis Vermillion came outside and actually spoke to the officers, trying to speak on the young boys behalf, and despite having witnessed some pretty severe abuse against Sylvia and already being in a conversation with the police, she said nothing.
After her time in the basement, Stephanie and John Jr, brought Sylvia upstairs, tying her to one of the beds in the home at Gertrude’s request, The young girl was told that if she made it through the night without wetting the bed, she would once again be allowed to sleep upstairs. However upon waking, Gertrude quickly realised that the mattress was damp, and once again forced the young girl to strip for her sons and neighbourhood boys, forcing her to once again masturbate with a glass bottle, afterwards being allowed to dress once again.
There was reportedly an eerie silence from Gertrude after this, where it seemed as though she was desperately trying to find something else to be angry about. A few moments passed before she began to scream at the young girl, shouting “you have branded my daughters so i will brand you!” 
Sylvia was then stripped, tied down and gagged while one of the Baniszewski children, under Gertrude’s orders used matches to heat up a sewing needle until the metal glowed a bi=right orange. Once it was hot enough, Gertrude used the needle to carve and burn the letter I and part of an m on the young girls stomach as the kids held her down. Gertrude then handed the needle to Ricky Hobbs, telling him to carve “I’m a prostitute and proud of it” into her stomach. The young boy carved 23 and a half letters into the stomach of a screaming and sobbing young girl, while all the kids held her down and watched. Part way through the torture, Ricky had to stop, but not because he felt bad, or because he was disgusted, but because he didn’t know how to spell the word prostitution. Gertrude had to actually write out the spelling on a scrap of paper so he could complete the cruel message. The burns and wounds caused to the young girls stomach were reportedly so severe that even modern day plastic surgery would not have been able to correct it and remove the scars. 
Gertrude then reportedly left the room, but some of the children, Ricky, Paula, and Shirley, who as just 10 years old, weren’t done with her, deciding that they wanted to brand another message into her skin. Ricky drew the lower half of an ‘S’, which was believed to stand for slave, on her chest, before ordering Jenny to do the rest. However, dispute the threats she endured, Jenny refused, and the needle was instead handed to 10 year old Shirley, but she messed it up, and it ended up saying ‘3’ instead.
After this happened, Gertrude returned to the room, reportedly mocking the girl and saying, “What are you going to do now Sylvia? You can’t get married now, you can’t undress in front of anyone...what are you going to do now?”. Now un-gagged, the string young girl reportedly responded “I guess there’s nothing i can do. It’s on there.”
It was at this point that Ricky, apparently not content with burning and carving 24 letters into he young girl, took Sylvia back down to the basement, and practiced his judo on the young injured girl for a while before leaving her wounded, naked and alone in the basement. When Jenny visited her sister in secret, she recalled Sylvia telling her that “I’m going to die, I can tell”.
Reportedly realising how severe Sylvia’s new wounds were, Gertrude collected Sylvia, allowing her to sleep in one of the beds upstairs instead of the basement, and she was allowed to sleep util noon of October 23rd, at which point she was woken up by Gertrude and Stephanie, who for the first time in quite a while, gave Sylvia a warm soapy bath, and then dressed the young girl in clean clothes, before they sat the young girl down to write a letter to her parents, which was dictated entirely by Gertrude. The letter read:
Dear Mr and Mrs Likens,
I went with a gang of boys in the middle of the night. And they said that they would pay me if i would give them something so I got in the car and they all got what they wanted...and when they got finished they beat me up and left sores on my face and all over my body. 
And they also put on my stomach, I am a prostitute and proud of it.
I have done just about everything I could do just to make Gertie mad and cause Gertie more money than she’s got. I’ve tore up a new mattress and peed on it. I have also cost Gertie doctor bills that she can’t really pay and made Gertie a nervous wreck and all her kids.
She was told to not sign the letter.
It was after this that Gertrude, within earshot of Sylvia began to plan what to do with her. She planned to have John Jr and Jenny take Sylvia over to the dump, where she would be left to die. Upon hearing this, Sylvia plucked up the courage to make a run for the door, but in her ill and wounded state, she moved so slowly that Gertrude managed to catch Sylvia  as she reached the door, taking her back to the kitchen. For the first time in quite some time, Gertrude made Sylvia some food, cooking her a slice of toast which was laid in front of her. Sadly, Sylvia was unable to swallow by this point, she had grown too weak, leading Gertrude to grab the curtain pole in the kitchen, hitting her right in the mouth with the pole.
Sylvia was then taken back down to the basement and tied up while they essentially waited for her to waste away. While in the basement, Gertrude offered Sylvia a plate of crackers, to which Sylvia reportedly responded “Feed it to the dog. It’s hungrier than I am.” Before she left the basement, Gertrude pinched Sylvia in her wound covered stomach repeatedly before leaving her on her own in the basement.
Apparently tired of waiting for the young girl to simply withering away, and knowing that if Sylvia recovered somehow, that she and her entire families crimes against her would certainly be discovered,  On October 24th Gertrude attempted to bludgeon Sarah to death. She first attempted to hit the young girl with a chair, but she missed and ended up breaking the chair to pieces against the wall.  She then proceeded to attempt to hit her with the wooden paddle which she had beaten the young girl with so many times before, but somehow ended up hitting herself with the paddle instead, giving herself a black eye. Ricky then hit the girl unconscious and they left her in the basement once again. During the night, and into the early hours of the morning, Sylvia used every ounce of strength that she could muster and hit the floor over and over and over again with the metal part of a scoop that had been left in the basement.
Tragically the neighbour’s, who did hear this noise, decided against contacting the police, and once again no one came to rescue the young girl who was so desperate for help.
On October 26th, when Gertrude said she wanted to give the young girl a warm bath, Ricky and Stephanie went to collect her, carrying her upstairs and putting her in the empty bathtub fully clothed, at which point they realised that the young girl wasn’t breathing. The children removed her from the bath and Stephanie actually tried to give her CPR, but it was tragically too late, and Sylvia was already dead. 
The young girls body was taken back to the basement and stripped, at which point Ricky went to a nearby payphone to call the police, as there wasn’t a phone within the home, and upon their arrival. However, during the commotion, a terrified Jenny Likens plucked up the courage to whisper to one of the officers, “Get me out of here, and I’ll tell you everything.”
Gertrude, Paula, Stephanie, John Jr, Ricky and Roy were arrested for murder, while Mike Monroe, Randy Lepper, Judy Duke, and Siscoe were arrested for ‘injury to a person. The charges against Siscoe, Monroe, Duke and Lepper were quickly dismissed, but the Baniszewski’s, Roy and Ricky were held in jail without bail.
After some time, the murder charges against Stephanie were also dropped.
During the investigation, the autopsy into Sylvia’s murder revealed the sheer number and severity of the wounds that she had sustained during her time in the Baiszewski residence. It revealed:
Up to one hundred cigarette burns, various second and third degree burns, severe bruising, muscle and nerve damage, her lips were almost severed from biting through them, her vaginal cavity was almost swollen shut (though her hymen was intact, discrediting the ‘reasons’ that Gertrude had given for her abuse), and the official cause of death was discovered to be brain swelling, internal brain hemorrhaging and shock.
Paula was convicted of second degree murder, but after winning an appeal for a new trial, she plead guilty to involuntary manslaughter, for which she served just 3 years before moving to Iowa under a brand new identity.
John Jr, Roy and Ricky were found guilty of involuntary manslaughter, and due to their young age they were sentenced to just 18 months. Upon his release at 17, Ricky, who had been very heavily involved in the case, suffered a nervous breakdown when coming to terms with what he had done, and he started to smoke so heavily that within for years, at just 21, he died of lung cancer.
Gertrude was sentenced to 18 years to life. During her sentence, she became a model prisoner who became a caring figure for her fellow inmates and sickeningly earned herself the nickname ‘Mom’. And she was put up for parole.
Jenny Likens actually appeared on TV with her family, begging for her release to be stopped, gaining the support of the Protect The Innocent movement and the League Against Molestation movement, who actually traveled to Indianna to start a sidewalk picket campaign, collecting at least 4500 signatures. However despite all of this, she was granted parole after being deemed not a threat. Her statement upon gaining her parole was “I’m not sure what role I had in it...because i was on drugs.” I never really knew her...I take full responsibility for whatever happened to Sylvia”. She was released on December 4th, 1985 and moved to Iowa under the name, Nadine Van Fossan, where she died of lung cancer in 1990.
Stephanie, who’s charges were dropped, took a new name and actually ended up working as a school teacher, which is completely terrifying to me, though reportedly she hasn’t re-offended since getting away from her mother.
John Jr, changed his name to John Blake, and lived a quiet life, working as a truck driver, before finding work as a real estate agent and lay minister. He never offended again and ended up marrying and having 3 children of his own, living in anonymity until 98, after the ‘Jonesboro Massacre’ when he came forward for the first time to talk about Sylvia. John discussed how he took full responsibility for his heinous actions, expressed deep remorse, and said that he believed a harsher sentence for all those involved, including himself, would have been far more just.
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The REAL Story Behind Sinister (2012), And The 11 Scariest Pagan Gods That You Don’t Want To Bump Into
It’s damn near impossible to find a really good horror film.
No, I mean a really good horror film.
You know, where the plot is winding, and unravels oh so gently until it snaps us back into its web, leaving us tied up in the lair of a monster as it inches closer and closer towards us.
Most horror films simply don’t make the cut.
But in recent years, there is one that does just that, twisting together an incredible plot, a truly terrifying monster, and the subtleties of gore that have you promising yourself you will never purchase a lawn mower again:
Sinister (2012).
That being said, this story of an unforgiving Pagan god and the innocent families that stumble across his path shouldn’t be shaking you to your core - it’s the real, historic legends that inspired this film.
Bughuul/Bagul is based on 3 Pagan gods, bringing the events behind the camera outside of our TV screen. But the thing is, it turns out Moloch, Baal, and Tlaloc are far from the only holy entities you don’t want to cross paths with.
Bughuul might just be more real than you’d like to think.
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What Happens In Sinister (2012) And Sinister 2 (2015)?
Before Bughuul was conjured up from the darkest corners of our nightmares, and before Ellison Oswalt - the main character in the film - even signed the lease on his new house, was an idea.
Sure, the real Pagan gods inspiring Bughuul might be enough to keep you awake at night, but C Robert Cargill, the writer of the film, was inspired by something else at first:
It was a nightmare after watching The Ring (2002).
From here the fundamental building block of the plot was set in place: a supernatural entity spreads itself via films that need to be created and then passed on. The thing is, this being doesn’t channel as much sympathy as we all harboured for Samara.
The starring role of the Super 8 movies in this flick is taken by a far more terrifying being that doesn’t stick to such a rigorous time scale.
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Our story follows a true-crime writer attempting to uncover an unsolved murder case to propel himself back to his former fame. But his distant family and obvious alcoholism are about to be the least of his problems when he accidentally unleashes a Pagan god.
You can’t find a Citizens Advice leaflet on that.
The tale begins when the author, Ellison Oswalt, moves into a new home. The thing is, he has a nasty habit of picking houses nearby to the cases he researches - only this time, he’s shacked up in the house where a whole family was murdered in the backyard and the youngest child went missing.
Nothing creepy here, right?
Oh, there’s a box in the attic with a Super 8 film projector and reels of film which display the murder of several families in their own horrific way.
*Inhale*
*Exhale*
Our new favourite true crime writer decides to team up with a lovable police deputy who does some digging around the murders. He discovers these murders took place from the 1960s up to present day, and occurred across the entire US. But what connected these murders - aside from that creepy figure in the background of the clips and the symbols - is that a child from each family went missing after the murder.
One quick Skype call to an esteemed occult professor later, and hey presto he’s realised he’s encountered a Babylonian deity known as Bughuul. But you can call him the Eater of Children, a nickname that caught on when they discovered he likes to consume the souls of children.
In case you can’t do the maths, Bughuul likes to have families murdered, and spare a child as a light snack post-murder.
Throughout this process of unveiling the truth of Bughuul, the paranormal activity begins. The steady climb in the supernatural peaks however when he hears the projector running in the attic. He checks out the situation, and realises all of the missing kids are enjoying a movie night - think less Netflix, more bloodthirsty Pagan god - when Bughuul rocks up via an unnecessary jumpscare.
Oswalt then makes the executive decision to burn the film and projector, and then swap this murder house for his previous residency.
Three cheers for common sense!
The thing is, Oswalt didn’t do his reading on basic horror movie monsters - ghosts haunt places, demons haunt people.
(Rooky error.)
Unfortunately Oswalt learns this when he’s mid-unpack of his old house. The professor then gives him a ring and lets him know that it's images of Bughuul that serve as a gateway for the deity to enter our mortal world. But it’s when kids come into contact with the image that they can be possessed.
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That’s right - it’s the kids that do the murdering, the filming, and then the pissing off with Bughuul.
Shortly after this bulb lights up, our lovable deputy also gets on the blower, and lets him know that each family that was murdered did the exact same thing:
They realised their new home was haunted by some presence, shacked up at a new location where there were no Super 8 movies included in the rent, and then were killed by their child.
Yep - our favourite true crime writer has only gone and set off the exact chain of events he attempted to investigate.
(Rooky error.)
Just as he realises he’s been played by the B-man, he passes out. He’s just been poisoned by his daughter. He wakes up moments before being slaughtered with an axe.
The film ends with the child being carried away by Bughuul and teleported into the film with him.
Sinister 2 picks up the plotline several years later, following around the lovable police officer as he takes matters into his own hands; he attempts to destroy the houses that continue Bughuul’s spread across America.
But in this film, we actually get a behind-the-scenes view of Bughuul’s process of encroaching on children. And it turns out the possession is actually peer pressure from the missing children - but instead of trying a cigarette outside the back of the local Lidl, you’re being forced to murder your family in your very own brutal way.
And if this exclusive preview into our favourite Pagan deity wasn’t enough, Bughuul also upskills and learns to utilise a radio to spread his message.
*Deletes BBC Sounds App*
So - Who Is Bughuul?
Found footage is a difficult genre to break into.
Bughuul, however crashes into it, reviving the boring clips that dragged The Blair Witch Project into horror movie infamy and sent the Paranormal Activity viewers to sleep.
Sinister plays with the horror genre in a whole new way, using silent, grainy Super 8 movies to leave the viewers convinced they might awaken a long dead spirit by listening to their favourite murder mystery podcast.
But the visual horror - whether of the gory deaths we witness or of Bughuul himself - confines the movie to the streaming platform you chose that evening.
It’s the unnervingly real concept of Bughuul which allows the events concerning Oswalt to haunt us on a whole new level.
In the film we are told that Bughuul is a Babylonian deity - a Pagan or early Christian demon, if you will - who can possess children, is transmitted through images, likes to murder entire families, and then make do with a child’s soul.
You know, the basic stuff.
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Whilst the finer details of Bughuul is not mapped out in theology, the fundamental building block of the body horror in this movie - that of sacrifice in horrific ways - has been practiced throughout history and devoted to 3 specific Pagan gods that the writers drew inspiration from.
And the first is called Moloch.
This Canaanite god was associated with many things, including agriculture and fertility, and sacrifice and fire, all of which are firmly represented in the movie. Whether it's the films’ focus on children, or its the spontaneous combustion of the Super 8 movies and the victims that do not conduct his bidding, Baghuul directly mirrors this entity.
Well, maybe ‘mirrors’ isn’t the right word.
Baghuul has the lookbook of a modern horror monster, from the Slender Man inspired suit to the smokey eye only a 13 year old could pull off. Moloch, on the other hand, is often depicted as a Bronze statue of a humanoid bull sitting down.
And it’s his statue form which lets you in on his preferred method of worship:
The statue would be heated with fire, and victims thrown in as a form of fiery sacrifice.
In fact, in both the 1920s and later in 1962, it was discovered via excavations of the ancient Carthaginian civilisations that both young people and animals were often the most popular victims, forging a link between the youth we saw on our TV screens, and the ashes left in the urns that were found.
This link was even addressed by the writers of the second film, with the promotional poster claiming Bughuul was the brother of this brutal god - but this isn’t the first time Moloch has appeared on the big screen.
Remember that episode in Buffy, you know, the one about online safety cause you won’t run into a paedophile but a glorified demon that wants to become a physical beast and wreak havoc on the world and is going to use you as a source of power?
Yeah, that’s the one.
In fact, Buffy stuck to the same premise, claiming Moloch was unleashed when an ancient text was scanned into a library system.
Sinister had less broody vampires, though.
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Our next contender for coulda-been-Bughuul is Baal, a demon which has actually featured in a few other horror flicks of his own, so far. The Rite featured this ancient god who focused his attention on fertility, just like Moloch.
And, just like Moloch, archaeological evidence of sacrifices was discovered, but in a region of Egypt from which he was worshipped.
Amongst the sacrificed infants found was a collection of animals and prostitutes. Even the ancient texts detailing their powers and premise suggests a sibling-like link: Baal Hammon was worshipped by the Carthage people as a supreme god, just like the former entity, and instead of bearing the body of a bull, he appears as a ram.
Yet despite sharing both a ritualistic and physical approach with Moloch, it’s Baal’s backstory that brings us even closer to Baghuul.
Too close.
Legend has it Baal was considered more powerful than his father, suggesting children overpowering their own family is a vital premise of this god.
Our final contender for Baghuul-but-without-the-eyeliner is Tlaloc. And, once again, this entity is just like the previous gods, but belongs on the other side of the globe.
This Aztec god is the god of rain, water and fertility, and despite his rather more peaceful and popular worship today, historically things have been a little, uh, sacrificey.
The remains of war captives have been found near his statues, but this only hints towards his association with death; it is said that he was essentially the destination in the afterlife for those that died from a variety of ailments.
And one of these ailments was child sacrifices.
Think back to the Sinister movies for a second.
In the short Super 8 films we see Bughuul make cameo appearances (like Stan Lee in Marvel films, only he’s a wholesome old man and isn't going to gobble up Hugh Jackman’s soul when the credits roll). This suggests that Baghuul not only enjoys a hobby of snacking on innocent children, but also takes pleasure from the sacrifices of the other family members, and appears at their time of death.
Unfortunately, according to historic worship, Tlaloc prefers his sacrifices a little more niche than just dead parents. Typically he likes his sacrifices to have their hearts extracted from the corpses, and collected in a bowl by the temple.
If you thought Sinister was grotesque, be thankful you didn’t witness a 7 year old stabbing their mother in the chest with a cheese knife.
The 11 Other Terrifying Gods You Don’t Want To Encounter In Your Attic
Paganism is an incredible thing.
It’s a religion that puts the believer at the centre of a huge selection of gods, demons, and deities to choose from. Even modern paganism doesn’t follow any rules.
Simply choose an entity, and get worshippin’!
But there is a downside.
We already know that three Pagan gods are enough to have you avoiding your 5 year old nephew at the next family dinner. But unfortunately, Moloch, Baal, and Tlaloc are far from the only deities that will make you left eye twitch when you see so much as a polaroid camera for fear Bughuul might have taken a #vintage selfie.
There’s 11 more terrifying deities that you don’t want to know about but I’m going to tell you about anyway!
(Yay.)
#1 Chinnamasta
Self-sacrifice and sexual restraint sounds like values we should all practice, but when a Hindu goddess tells you to do it - and she has no head - you might be more reluctant to listen to her wise words.
The legend claims that a group of Hindu gods and demons churned the ocean in order to extract an elixir of immortality. Chinnamasta took a sip, swallowed the entire share for the demons, and chopped her own head off to prevent them from reclaiming it.
An alternative version tells a different story: Chinnasmasta and her crew were bathing too long and realised they were hungry. So, she satiated their hunger by decapitating her own head and allowing her attendants to drink the blood spurting from her neck.
And so, her image is immortalised by three fountains of blood coming out of her neck, and her attendants gulping back the liquid.
Casual.
#2 Pan
As well as being one of the most famous gods to date, this Greek deity is also one of the oldest. And whilst he he is the god of nice, wholesome things like cosy forests and flocks of cute animals, he would be deemed a sex offender today.
Pan would try and have sex with anything - yes, anything - that moved. And when one of these things tried to run away, such as the nymph Syrinx, he chased her down, and then turned her into a pan flute.
And when another nymph also turned him down, he had her murdered by his minions.
Fact is, you can choose which gods you can believe in, but the real horror in the world - sexual predators - will always exist.
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#3 - Ishtar
Most gods are known for their brutal acts, whether in the name of justice, or for selfish purposes. The thing is, this goddess has a thing for gore.
And rightly so.
Having been raped by a gardener as she slept underneath the shade of his tree, she got her vengeance by punishing the Earth. She made the rivers flow with blood, she tormented the planet with storms, and she cast disease over our lands.
And similar to the gods already mentioned, she too has a habit of sacrifice. But she doesn’t want people to be sacrificed to her - she prefers to do her own sacrificing of her own lovers.
#4 - Cronus
Next up is the leader of the Titans. But his attempt to eat his own children to prevent them from completing a prophecy and overthrowing him doesn’t get a mention here - it’s what he did to his father.
He scythed off his genitals.
And if that wasn’t enough, he then chucked ‘em into the sea, spawning the goddess Aphrodite.
#5 - Teutates, Esus, and Taranis
Christianity’s got Jesus, God, and the Holy Spirit. Paganism on the other hand has its own trio. But these guys rely on routine human sacrifice. But what really sets them apart is that each individual god has their own preferred murder method.
Teutates likes to drown his victims headfirst in ale, Esus likes to have his sacrifices stabbed, hung from trees, and left to bleed out, and Taranis likes wickerwork figures that are set alight to contain his victims in a fiery death a la Nicholas Cage.
Squad goals?
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#6 - Tezcatlipoca
The second Aztec god to feature in this post continues the trend of these deities preferring bodily organs. But this deity sets itself apart by craving a far slower ritual that culminates in a sacrifice.
A priest would select a prisoner who was to impersonate the god. Luxurious shenanigans would ensue, including 4 maidens dedicated to his every need. Unfortunately, his needs wouldn’t last too long.
He would have a year of this god-like life, walk up the steps of a temple, and have his heart ripped out.
#7 - Huehueteotl
He was the god of death, hot, and cold. And he liked his sacrifices to have experienced all three at the same time, apparently.
The process of sacrifice would include drugging the victim, roasting them alive, ripping out their heart, and then burning the remains again.
According to other accounts, the victim could simply be drugged, and then dragged with hooks to platforms for the ritual. And then the heart would be cut out and tossed into the fire. And then the rest of the bodies would follow.
Your choice, I guess.
#8 - Toci
Life must’ve been hard back then.
You know, the constant fear that you - yes, you - might be the next victim to be tossed to the flames of fiery sacrifice, or an organ of your deity’s choice was to be placed into what can only be described as a ritualistic olive bowl.
But at least you’d have an inkling of what’s to come. The worshippers of Toci weren’t quite so lucky.
Toci was the goddess of healing and a patron of midwives and healers. But rather than wanting to celebrate life in all of its glory, she actually preferred dead people as gifts.
And so, women were dressed as the goddess, told they were going to see the local ruler, climb the temple, and be met with a priest with a knife. The unlucky woman would be beheaded, her heart removed, and skin flayed.
The priest would complete the ritual - yep, it doesn’t end there - by wearing the skin of the victim.
#9 - Chac
When we discuss sacrifice in the name of a god, it is often assumed that the act took place many years ago, and that the traces of the murders have long since decayed and disappeared from our world. But it turns out that you can actually visit the location of 2 wells in Chichen Itza where sacrifices took place in the name of Chac, the Mayan god of rain, water, and lightning.
But aside from casting storms over his worshippers, he encouraged human sacrifice.
And so, his worshippers obliged by tossing their young children into their wells; they believed Chac resided at the bottom of sinkholes, and wanted their human sacrifices to be as close as possible to him to ensure safe delivery.
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According to the film’s lore, Baghuul lives inside of the images, and uses the pictures, the films, and any other form of media as a gateway to our realm.
In that case, God only knows what this article may have unleashed.
Traumatised? Afraid to turn the light out and turn in for fear of hearing Bughuul filming his YouTube outro in your attic? The you might as well check out my other articles in the mean time…
And while you’re there, why not hit follow and see a new real ghost story everyday?
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moviegroovies · 3 years
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it is the nature of movie groovies dot tumblr dot com that every so often i go off on an unreadable rant about a disney movie again. so anyway. 
beauty and the beast:
maurice disappears. 
the horse is found dead. everyone assumes belle is a helpless orphan--she refuses to acknowledge it. 
she begs the men of her village to come out searching with her. père robert and gaston do (there’s a scuffle when gaston assumes she’ll stay home while they do the searching for her, because, you know, but belle refuses and père robert sides with her, and in the end it’s not worth the effort when gaston is only doing this to impress her anyway), but they don’t find anything. 
after three days, père robert has to get back to his church duties.
after a week, gaston gives belle an ultimatum: either she marries him, and he’ll continue to go through the motions of this ridiculous search, or don’t, and he’ll have her institutionalized for her insane grief. she says to go ahead--he’ll never be able to marry her if she’s in the madhouse. he leaves in disgust.
alone, belle breaks down, hopeless.
weeks pass. belle gets by, eating not a whole lot more than gruel. she scrimps & saves & offers to do needlework for the townspeople. not many of them commission her out of anything but pity; too much time reading, not enough practicing, she’s not quite a talented hand. 
gaston stops by again, telling her to stop this foolishness. everything will work out if she just marries him. 
g-d help her, but she considers it. then she hates herself. 
she lashes out and accuses him of killing maurice just to back her into this corner--he nearly hits her for it. doesn’t. leaves.
she goes to père robert for council, and he suggests she join a convent. it makes sense, it’s a logical solution to nearly every problem she’s facing right now... but belle can’t. she wants adventure and that is--the opposite. 
besides, she’s read that one already.
he understands. gives her a nominal sum out of his own pockets. she goes home and sobs, feeling more lost and depowered and enraged at the world than she’s ever felt. she tears all the pages out of her favorite book in anger. she hits rock bottom.
and then.
after belle has time to cry herself out, she finally snaps out of it, and coming back to reality in a pile of torn pages feels like looking down and noticing blood on her hands. she has a “what have i DONE?” moment, and rushes to find some kind of tools to put the book back together when she finds... her father’s half-finished machines.
of course! 
she could fix them up and sell them, like he meant to. she spends the next few weeks feeling confident and brave again, head held high while she eats gruel and finishes her father’s work. she doesn’t quite know how to build more yet, but this number would set them up for a year, and she’s still got the chickens.
(egg prices being abnormally lucrative in this village, you know.)
not to mention, it’s cheaper to feed just belle than belle and her father combined. a sympathetic villager even allows her to use their horse to pull her carriage, and everything seems like it’s going so well...
...and then she gets one mile out of town on her way to paris to sell her wares and is accosted by a bandit. 
he robs her blind and threatens her maidenhood and says something that implies he tried to rob her father before. he even takes the horse. 
belle is seized by the bit about her father--obsessed with the idea that this wasn’t for nothing. he leaves her in the dirt and she stumbles home, getting there after night has already fallen. no one sees her go in. 
she curls up on herself and sits there frozen until nearly dawn, staring at a wall and trying to make her brain work again through the night’s trauma. finally, when the sun has hardly started to rise, she gets a new idea--she has to go back to the woods. 
but she has to be smart. 
going out in the world alone, unprotected and in only her normal dress, had been naive. for all her dreaming, she really hadn’t known anything about how the world works at all. but she knows more now. if she wants to survive, she has to get her wares back (not to mention her neighbor’s horse). and besides, if those robbers knew something about her father....
belle waits the whole day, hiding out of sight in her own home. for once, she’s too excited to read, so she paces, thinking over and rethinking over her plan. finally, night falls. she waits a couple more hours until she’s certain that everyone is asleep, and then, belle puts on her father’s clothes and takes a knife from their kitchen and sets out again. 
she goes down the same way she had headed before, deliberately making too much noise on the path. sure enough, it’s only a matter of time before the robber from before stops her.
he demands all her money, but belle is quicker.  
before the man has a chance to even comprehend what has happened, belle has her knife to his throat. she demands he lead her back to her things--or else. 
this particular robber being, as most robbers are, somewhat of a coward (a tough character only when facing an unarmed woman alone at night), he gives in, leading her back to his daytime hideout. when they get there, belle is initially distraught; all of her machines were deemed worthless and destroyed for their parts. there are, however, other virtues in finding this place: the horse is alive, for one thing (if a little miffed off), and there’s so... much... gold. 
more than belle could have hoped for had she had even the best of luck selling her wares.
she ties up her would-be assailant and takes his weapon, trading out her kitchen knife for a gilded dagger. 
some questioning reveals that he had attempted to rob her father before, but years ago--some trip that maurice had long since returned safe from and never thought to mention to belle for fear of worrying her. 
ha. 
with that, belle takes the gold and the horse and leaves the robber, the trinkets, and the broken bits of her father’s machinery behind, all with the warning of what belle will do if she finds him in those woods, harassing harmless old men and defenseless young women again. 
he never comes back.
belle returns to the village on the third day, more triumphant than she’s ever felt. 
evening is just starting to fall when she reaches the borders of villeneuve, and it’s a fairly simple matter to hustle home, cleaning all traces of her journey and hardships from her skin and hiding the remaining traces of what she’s done--the majority of the gold, her father’s clothes, and her hard-won new weapon. 
from there, feeling almost as if the past few days--no, months--have been nothing but a bad dream, belle goes out into the village once more, proud and gracious as she returns the horse (groomed and fed) to an owner who would never know how close they came to losing it.
starving and just the faintest bit petty, belle then sits herself down on a stool in gaston’s tavern and orders a hearty bowl of stew and some ale, to celebrate her good fortune at the market.
he glowers as he serves her, but says nothing. she smiles at him, and tips more than is strictly wise, all things considered, just to rub in his face that she did not fall victim to his whims.
and thus begins belle’s career as a highwayman.
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thanksjro · 4 years
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The Transformers #23- Chaos Theory Part 2: Everything Ever is Whirl’s Fault, and He Didn’t Even Do Anything This Issue
Before the war, Orion Pax is watching the news. Turns out Nominus Prime got blown up earlier in the day, as Blaster reports from the scene of the crime. We get our first mention of the Militant Monoform Movement as we take a gander at all of Orion’s awards.
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Turns out Orion went to college. Wonder what tuition’s like at the Institute of Higher Programming.
An incoming storm messes with the reception, and in walk three guys looking for trouble Whirl. Whirl’s currently in custody, seeing as Orion doesn’t take too kindly to beating suspects within an inch of their life.
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General rule of thumb: anyone calling Whirl “popular” or a “friend” is either trying to kill him, or has made the attempt in the past.
So these guys are trying to get Whirl out of jail, using the power of persuasion and being generally threatening. Orion Pax is too much of a good egg to be swayed by such tactics, however, so they’ll have to up the ante.
In the present day, Optimus is having a brooding session in the engine room- I’m only assuming it’s the engine room- and Ratchet checks in.
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I suppose “frazzled” is a word we could use, Ratchet, sure.
Optimus feels as if his decision on whether Megatron should be executed or imprisoned for the rest of time is going to be biased either way. Dang, almost sounds like putting it to a vote with the leader of the Autobots would be a better way of handling this, huh Optimus? It’s almost as if you’re compromised here, and we need a little friggin’ democracy going on.
Ratchet asks why he hasn’t consulted the Matrix on this whole situation, breaking out the quotation fingers whilst referring to its wisdom, but Optimus ain’t too sure about all that either. When Optimus first got the Matrix shoved into his body, that shit hurt. It hurt a LOT, and he’d interpreted that as a sort of warning that carrying it was a huge responsibility. Way bigger than taking care of a dog. Now he’s questioning whether or not he actually wants the responsibility.
Hey, if you’re having second thoughts about being Prime, you ought to give Bumblebee a little more room to work and be the leader of the Autobots like you wanted him to be, and maybe consider handing the Matrix back over to Rodimus-
Oh who am I kidding? His martyr complex would NEVER let that happen.
Back in the past, Wheelarch and Springarm are waxing poetic about how cool their new boss Orion Pax is. He’s strong, and heroic, and making a difference in the world, and he’s got just the most beautiful blue eyes-
Anyway, they arrive back at the precinct to discover where all the criminal scum have gotten to- Orion already bagged ‘em.
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You know, I think tying suspects to poles in the ground in the office section, packing the room so tightly they can’t even sit or stand comfortably… I think that might be a touch illegal, Orion. Unethical, if nothing else.
A bit later on, Springarm wants to know just what the hell that was all about. Orion’s been thinking about Megatron’s writing, and how he thinks the Senate is institutionally corrupt, and that visit from Whirl’s “friends” is starting to make him think that maybe the guy had a point. It bothers him.
Springarm turns to his faith when he’s feeling bothered by deep questions like whether or not the world government is is enacting a caste-system in an attempt to control the populace.
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This just in, the future space pope is a goddamned atheist. Perhaps this is why interfacing with the Matrix hurts him- it relies on a mutual respect between itself and its Prime, and there ain’t nothing less respectful than thinking of the thing as a literal ornament.
Orion thanks Springarm for the advice, but he’s going to work through this without spiritual guidance.
In the present, Optimus meets with Rodimus, and asks a question he’s never been able to ask before: how did it feel to interface with the Matrix?
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Well dang, Rodders, tell us how you really feel!
It should be noted that Rodimus does have some level of faith in the gods, the Matrix, the Knights of Cybertron, and several other Cybertronian legends and myths- which sort of makes the MTMTE Knight Quest look like a bit of a crusade, doesn’t it? Does believing in the Matrix let it bond more seamlessly with the bearer? Methinks it just might.
Back in the past, Orion Pax gets back from patrol to find the precinct has been broken into, and his two motorbike boys aren’t doing so hot.
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Oh man, Valve’s going to be pissed.
Moving real stealthy-like, Orion moves to the holding cells, where he catches those guys from earlier trying to spring Whirl from jail. Well, two of them anyway. The third guy is behind him, and shoots him in the back.
Luckily, Orion’s old body-frame includes a backpack, and this move doesn’t kill him. He sweeps the leg of his assailant, shoots Whirl in the leg so he can’t escape, then runs to his trophy case to grab the fancy gun someone gave him. Wonder what it was for.
Alas! It’s not loaded. Which you ought to expect from an award gun, unless you loaded it yourself before you put it in the case. Which he didn’t, clearly.
Three versus one, and the solo act doesn’t have any weapons. What’s a guy to do?
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This is deeply silly. I adore it.
Thinking quickly, Orion drags Springarm’s headless body into a closet. This isn’t necessarily a smart move, but give it a second. As the three thugs discuss murder-based puns, Orion prepares to enact a Roberts’ writing essential.
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Corpse desecration.
Riding his coworker’s lifeless body through the precinct, he runs down his attackers, stabs one of them in the throat with one of his arm cannons in front of all the ‘bots currently in the cells, and goes to find Whirl.
Whirl, who knows to get going while the getting’s good, warns Orion that the Senate has eyes everywhere, and if he so much as touches Whirl his whole life is gonna get turned upside down and inside out, and not in a fun way. And he’d know.
Smash cut to the Grand Imperium, home of the Senate, where everything is blue and gold, fear tactics are at play on the political stage, and everyone is suffering from a nasty case of same-face syndrome. Senator Proteus is about to enact the Clampdown, a strict rule of martial law that will, under the guise of protecting the people and weeding out terrorism, in actuality allow the Senate to hoard power like a bunch of dragons.
Then Orion shows up, after fighting off the entirety of the Senate security force, while carrying a one-legged Whirl.
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Got a nice shot of some bird ass, and Orion’s honkers are halfway out. I wonder if this particular chunk of fan-service was specified in the script, or if this is purely Milne.
Sentinel calls off the dogs, and Orion has his say. He throws Whirl on the floor, introducing him to everyone as the cause of every problem ever. Well, not really, but pretty close.
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Orion, you can’t just say a guy caused two people to die and then not expect to have to deal with the repercussions of pummeling his psyche at some point down the road.
Orion goes on to mention Megatron, bringing up his writings and how they revealed to him the dark, ugly underbelly of the Senate that he’d been blind to until that point. This is still the guy who arrested drug addicts for using and tied them to a pole, by the by. He’s less than 48 hours into this Megatron kick, and still got a lot to rectify within himself.
Orion coins the term “Autobots”, reclaiming a friggin’ slur the other races in the galaxy have taken to calling the Cybertronians.
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I wasn’t kidding.
The Senate members are starting to get rowdy about being called out on their bullshit, and have Orion removed from the building, but not before he can ask Megatron’s three questions:
1. In whose interests do the Senate exercise their power?
2. To whom is the Senate accountable?
3. How can the populace get rid of them?
No answers are given, as he’s taken away. He did use Megatron’s name, by the way. His full one, with the “of Tarn” attached and mentioned where he worked. Smooth moves, Orion. Now Megatron’s going to be targeted for politically-charged murder.
In the present, Optimus Prime’s made a decision on what exactly to do with Megatron- and his decision is to let Megatron decide his fate, because freedom is the right of all sentient beings, and part of that is getting to choose your fate.
Megatron picks death, like, immediately.
Optimus gets the Matrix back from Ratchet, who he left its care in- he wanted to be sure that he was still the person he had been back when he made that speech to the Senate. Glad your crisis of self went well, Optimus.
Back in the past, Orion Pax meets with a senator in front of the Ark-1 memorial, very secret-like. See this senator’s seen all the nonsense that goes on in the Senate, and he’s about had it. Forget what all Megatron wrote about, it’s way, way worse in reality. He can’t prove it, but the attack on Nominus Prime was an inside job, so that the Senate could get their hands on the Matrix and figure out how it creates life.
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I know, it’s crazy.
Things will probably pop off very soon, so the Senator’s taken the liberty of modifying Orion Pax’s chest cavity while he was passed out receiving repairs.
So the guy made a little hidey-hole for the Matrix in Orion’s body, so that he could one day be Prime.
Hey.
Hey, Senator.
Consent is sexy, man. Don’t be like that.
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vixerehq · 4 years
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                    event i : killing dionysus ; part two
                TRIGGER WARNINGS: death, injury, hanging, knives, weapons guns.
the night had been winding down. drinks had been served far too many times, the happy couple had been congratulated –– begrudgingly, but congratulated –– by all, and everyone begins to say their goodbyes ; ready to leave yet another meeting of the families behind them. that’s when the lights went out. a blackout. 
with no windows, no candles, and no pesky mobile phones with their handy flashlights, it’s almost as if someone wanted it to be pitch black, with paranoid mafia families stuck inside a building with no weapons, no phones, no exits, and far too many questions they can’t answer. what could go wrong?
by the time someone’s pulled out a lighter and found a candle, the screams have already begun. people stuck in elevators and storage rooms. masked men cordoning off the vault and attacking anyone they can. makeshift weapons made from broken bottles and unlikely alliances made in split-second decisions. it’s too late. 
in an empty room with empty tables and abandoned drinks, balon greyjoy, father of theon greyjoy, is found dead in his seat: his throat cut.��alerie tyrell, mother to margaery and loras tyrell, is found in her seat: her throat cut. obara sand one of the infamous sand snakes, is found dead in oberyn martell’s seat: her throat cut. obella sand, ellaria sand’s daughter, is knocked out beside her but unharmed. robert baratheon is found by the vault door –– his throat cut, yet still alive. trystane martell is missing, and ned stark is found just in time ; saved by an approaching theon greyjoy. 
nobody’s realised what any of this was about. morning is beginning to rise. the police have locked down the street from both ends ; stopped the media and innocent bystanders from straying too close. and as people begin to leave from the same red door they first walked in through, they see them: from the second storey balcony hang petyr baelish and lysa arryn ; a bullet each in the chest, dead before they were ever thrown off the ledge. there’s black ink smeared on their faces and gold leaf stuffed in their mouths. a mark of the lannisters and the greyjoys. peace was always overrated. 
LOGISTICS: you may continue threads from the first part of the event, as well as threads designated below and threads set in the medical tent afterwards. please do not begin threads past midnight on the day of the attack. new characters will be added and given roles. the event will stretch from saturday june 20th to sunday june 28th. if you have any questions whatsoever, don’t hesitate to contact the main. 
location: the whole house. time: eleven-thirty pm onwards. extra music vibes: [ x ] 
LYANNA STARK & ESRA TALLHART & SANSA STARK are in the elevator, one the way up from the vault when the electricity goes out. they are stuck there in suspension, just the dim glow of the emergency light flickering as the old, shaking lift barely hangs on. LYANNA realises that the elevator is beginning to slide down little by little ; and the three begin to call for help ; bracing for impact. 
ducking behind the bar, NYMERIA SAND & DACEY MORMONT & BRYCE CARON & BRIENNE TARTH put aside their loyalties and form a vanguard. using broken bottles and whatever else they can find –– knives, pens, a hammer –– to fight and incapacitate as many masked men as they can. NYMERIA beats two men to death . they are the ones to hear LYANNA & ESRA & SANSA in the elevator once the coast is clear. BRIENNE and BRYCE and DACEY work together to get the lift doors open.
EDRIC STORM & JOFFREY BARATHEON are stuck together, trying to find a way out of the dark basement. both have suffered MINOR INJURIES and CUTS TO THE FACE. they decide to venture through the makeshift dining hall to escape through the vault doors. that’s when they see ROBERT BARATHEON with his throat cut but breathing. they try to stop his bleeding and try to get out of their as quickly as possible. 
THEON GREYJOY & LORRA CRAYNE & ARYA STARK are in the kitchens when the lights go out ; and the sound of screams, they decide to stay in the kitchen –– until they can get enough weapons. grabbing KNIVES and a BLOWTORCH, they quietly venture outside. while ARYA and LORRA fight off a masked man and KILL HIM, revealing him to be LOYAL TO ASHA GREYJOY ; THEON runs up ahead and fights off more masked men from harming NED STARK. 
MYRCELLA BARATHEON & LEONETTE FOSSOWAY & ALIYA DAYNE are in the powder room when two masked men steal inside. while MYRCELLA is hit in the head and falls back, ALIYA grabs her heels as a makeshift weapon and the three women DISARM and TIE UP both men. when unmasked, they are revealed to be LOYAL TO CERSEI LANNISTER. they stick together and stay hidden until BRIENNE TARTH comes to find them. 
TYBOLT CRAKEHALL & OLENNA TYRELL & MACE TYRELL & DAENERYS TARGARYEN are in the library when the commotion starts. the one LANNISTER MAN who steals in is hit on the back of the head by TYBOLT and they blockade the door as best as they can until NYMERIA SAND comes to find them. 
MARGAERY TYRELL is stabbed deep in the arm. she is hiding in a storage cupboard with JON TARGARYEN, who grabs a LONG KNIFE. they go outside and are met with a masked man ; who is fought and defeated by JON. they go through the dining hall and see ALERIE TYRELL is dead. while MARGAERY deals with this revelation, OBERYN MARTELL fights off masked men and comes into the dining hall as well ; only to see his daughter dead. it is JON who rallies and gets them out of there. he thinks quickly and pulls the FIRE ALARM ; scaring off the masked men and alerting the authorities.  
BARBARA BRACKEN & RHAENYS TARGARYEN & ARIANNE MARTELL have stolen guns off dead men’s bodies ; they duck behind the aquarium to stay safe. however, when FIVE LANNISTER MEN come after them, they fire towards the aquarium itself. water and glass goes everywhere ; and while the three women are only mildly hurt, the men are hurt and dealt with quickly. RHAENYS has suffered a bullet graze to the leg ; and ARIANNE & BARBARA need stitches. teaming up, they duck into the stairwell and find their way out. 
the first people to leave the party, LORAS TYRELL & ELIA MARTELL & DESMERA REDWYNE had left before the blackout happened. but they had been upstairs, talking through and laughing about the night, when the masked men had crept into the house. after a fight ALL THREE had been tied up and left in a locked room while the men descend. desperate to warn the others, LORAS breaks through his binds and helps the others. they run to get help. 
ELLARIA SAND & RICKON STARK & RENLY BARATHEON are held at gunpoint at the stairwell. none are armed ; but they talk to distract the masked man and shove him down the stairs ; killing him so they can escape. they run back down to the basement and through the dining hall. ELLARIA sees obara dead and obella unharmed ; RENLY sees his brother still alive and RICKON is reunited with his family. 
ANYA WAYNWOOD & SARELLA SAND & JON TARGARYEN have set up a makeshift treatment centre in the upstairs library ; everyone is required to get checked before they are allowed to leave. as the injured, assailants, and corpses are brought up, ANYA & SARELLA & JON find squid ink in every knife wound ; confirming that it was a GREYJOY plan ; they also find gold leaf, confirming LANNISTER involvement. SANSA STARK is also in the treatment centre, counting numbers and keeping an eye on things to ensure nothing gets out of hand. 
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