#but the only time i've actually been fat i was a kid and people were fucking horrific to me and maybe i'm still bitter over that and
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post about fatphobia: fat people are systematically treated like shit and this extends deep into many aspects of life including but not limited to the medical field, school, fashion, etc.
the comments: well MaYbE if You CaReD AboUt BeinG FuckAbLe AnD HaTeD YouRseLF, you'd STARVE and bOdY BUILD!! fAT pEOPlE aREN't oPPRESSED!! You'Re OppRessIng ME by Enjoying Being Fat aNd Healthy. [insert rant about obesity here that is 90% lies] [insert follow up rant about being oppressed for being skinny]
"wuh buh skinny shaming!" "skinny people are medically neglected too!" like... y'all are ignoring the fact that *a majority* of medical neglect and things of that nature towards skinny people is in majority because of fatphobia, [the rest due to other factors such as misogyny, racism, transphobia and queerphobia, etc.. making them not take things like ED and ailments causing you to lose weight/be underweight as serious]
Like from first hand experience, a lot of people & doctors would literally rather folks be sick and malnourished then be fat. They'd literally rather people's bodies fall apart due to lack of nutrients or be so underweight they can't get out of bed, than have noticeable fat on their bodies.
but yeah no let's just overtake serious discussions about fatphobia and/or posts uplifting and celebrating fat people and make it about skinny people //sarcasm
#like fatphobia is so fucking insidious#like the hatred and so called “”“”“health concerns”“”“ treat folks as if even a microscopic amount of fat is the same as being obese#but also like!!! who's fucking business is it if someone is obese even!!! not fucking yours#like that's between them and maybe their doctors and loved ones if they want it to be#y'all love to pretend like you care but only when it's directly affecting you or makes you look good#just say you hate fat people and shut the fuck up forever actually#like if you're gonna be a fatphobic bigot just eat dirt and shut the fuck up FOREVER#if it seems like i'm overstepping anywhere talking about this as someone who's been skinny 90% of their life.. please let me know#i made my own post after seeing quite a few cause i didn't wanna speak over anyone or make the convo about skinny people#like there's enough weirdos who make unwarranted comments#idk maybe i'm just frustrated because now that i'm a healthy weight people are making a lot of weird comments about me “”getting fat“”#hashimotos is a bitch my weight has never been consistent#but the only time i've actually been fat i was a kid and people were fucking horrific to me and maybe i'm still bitter over that and#bitter over seeing my fat friends have to deal with so much fatphobia that i can't do much to help with
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Well it's come up multiple times today so I'll make a post about it.
I think the popularization of the word "twink" has ultimately been really bad for people in general.
I know it's hard to track the positive and negative effects of language but I don't think it's hard to see how creating a word for a group of people wherein the most consistent qualifying trait is "being skinny" is healthy for people's self image. Obviously people have lots of ideas about what it means to be a twink- gay, lacking body hair, feminine, beautiful, young, white- but the most consistent descriptor I've seen is "skinny." Hell, it's even a body type on Grindr; the size below "average."
So it kind of functions as a code word in the gay community: anyone can say that they're only interested in twinks and they don't have to look shallow by saying they only like skinny guys. It's such an accepted attitude that no one really bats an eye when they hear it.
I'm not even going to get into how it's become part of the larger issue of people turning "top" and "bottom" into gender roles 2.0, but that is closely related, because people with any internalized homophobia can look at a skinny, feminine man and turn off their fag alarms by viewing him as a woman or not a "real" man, and it makes twinks more acceptable to society at large.
No, ignoring all of that, one of the biggest issues is that gay men are taught by society that they are only attractive while they are skinny. Just having the label "twink" reminds a boy that people are looking at his body and judging it. There were countless times when I was growing up that people would tell me, "You're such a twink," or argue about whether or not I qualified as a twink because I had body hair. People around you, unpromted, judge your body and give you a label based on it, and that label has a large influence on whether or not you're seen as objectively attractive. I know many other gay people who say they wish they were a twink so they could be more attractive to guys.
So think, you have all these kids growing up being told whether or not they qualify as a twink, and then we have the gay community as a whole where it's completely acceptable to say you're only attracted to twinks. I think its because of all of this pressure to be a twink (in other words, to have a below average weight) that many of the gay people that I interact with struggle with a negative body image or eating disorders.
I mean, people talk about "twink death" like it's an actual event that makes a gay man much less attractive, and no one thinks that, maybe, it's harmful to tell a guy that the very day he stops being young and thin and pretty, he will stop being attractive and celebrated?
I'm not qualified to speak on fatphobia in physical queer spaces because I don't have the ability to frequent them where I live, but I can't imagine that these aren't issues at social gatherings as well. I also can't speak on my own experiences with weight discrimination because so far in my life I have had a naturally thin body, but I have experienced a lot of outside pressure to be thin that have caused me to pick up unhealthy eating habits to reduce my weight in fear that I could become fat later on. Thankfully that is something that I've mostly been able to work past. I'm not an expert, but idk, I just wanted to rant on my silly tumblr blog.
Obviously it's impossible for a word to be inherently bad. I'm not trying to imply that saying "twink" is a magic word with evil powers. Obviously the real issues at play here are fatphobia and harmful beauty standards and body shaming. But in my opinion, the popular use of the word twink has made it much easier and acceptable to express fatphobia, etc, in the gay community by turning "skinny person" into a "type of guy that you should try to be so you can be attractive."
#i know i sound annoying and woke but this is my blog and i can post whatever i want :3#theres so much more to say but this is long enough as it is#no ones gonna read this anyway#gay#queer issues#fatphobia#cw ed mention
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Chapter 20 pt. 2- I Do
Summary: It's wedding time, baby.
Word Count: 17.4K (.....I'm so sorry)
Warnings: SMUT (18+) unprotected p in v sex, vaginal fingering, praise kink, marriage kink, big, fat, nasty, unspeakable breeding kink (holy SHIT you guys, I really went balls to the wall on this one, I fear), kind of semi-public sex (you already know these horndogs are going at it again), More getting caught (Steve is causing his own problems at this point), wedding things!!, family dynamics, mentions of death/grief, lots of emotions, alcohol/drinking, so many feelings (grab the tissues, friends), Javi being adorable with kids, Javi being so in LOVE it HURTS?!? So much joy and happiness because Javi deserves the world and more
A/N: HELLO. Part 2 is finally finished *insert Spongebob narrator voice* 4 years later 🫠 Omg y'all, thank you SO much for bearing with me as I finish this, it has been a labor of love like no other, but I am so excited to finally share our favorite couple's special day and finally GET THESE TWO MARRIED 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I would very much be lying if I said I didn't cry multiple times writing this chapter 🥺 I can't believe these two are actually getting married- words can't express how thankful I am for everyone who's wanted to stick around and read my silly little story to see these two make it to their wedding day- your support and kind words mean more to me than you will ever know 💛 Poorly beta'd bc I'm the worst, also, I've seen that sometimes people have issues reblogging things with comments that are this long (my apologies), but comments and reblogs make me wanna cry and throw up with joy, so it means a lot to me if you're able to leave a comment if it won't let you reblog with one!!!
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Never had you been so anxious to walk in a straight line.
Because truth be told, that was all you needed to do to walk down the aisle- walk in a straight line.
But when that straight line meant the walk to finally get to marry your future husband, to take his last name, to start the beginning of your forever together, not to mention kissing him in front of all your closest family and friends, you couldn’t help but feel the butterflies in your stomach swirling in anticipation as you waited for your ceremony to start.
“You okay, Hermosa?” Javi asked, his thumb gently stroking your hand that he had been holding since the moment he saw you, almost as if he was refusing to let go. You looked up at him, big brown puppy dog eyes staring down at you with a goofy grin that hadn’t left his face, the sight of his handsome, broad frame easing your racing heart enough to help you remember that when you walked down that aisle in a few short minutes, he was the only thing that mattered.
“I’m perfect.” You smiled, pressing up on your toes just enough to peck his lips quickly before someone in the wedding party needed to barrate you both again about saving your kissing until after you were finally married. “I don’t think I’ve ever had this many people staring all at me at once. Knowing my luck, I’m gonna trip and fall over this dress before I can even make it to you. Or better yet, with my dumbass decision to have David and Charlie walk me down the aisle, I’ll be lucky if they don’t push me to the ground first.”
“Well, even if you did fall, you would still be the most beautiful woman on the face of this Earth. My clumsy, grass-stained wife.” Javi snickered, giving you a little nudge as you rolled your eyes, giving him a playful shove back.
“Pendejo. You have both of our vows books, right? You promise you haven’t peeked?”
“Yup, both right here in my pocket.” Javi smiled, patting his tux by his chest. “Promise I haven’t read it. Although for my sake I probably should have, because if I can’t even make it through seeing you in your dress, then these vows are gonna make me a fuckin’ goner.”
“Bold of you to assume I had nice things to say about you in there.” You teased, raising your eyebrow as you smirked at him, making Javi shake his head as he laughed.
“Alright everyone, it’s 3:00, it’s time to get this show on the road! Make sure you’re in order like we practiced, that you take your time walking down to the music, girls, please do not throw petals at each other, and make sure you all- Javi, where are you? You’re supposed to be at the front of this line, sir.” Connie sassed, proving to you that she really was the perfect person for the task of making sure that things ran smoothly today, bossing the group around like the captain of a well organized ship.
“Sorry, I’m coming,” Javi replied sheepishly. “I love you, Osita.” Sliding the hand that was entangled with yours around your waist, Javi pulled you in for a kiss, much more obviously than he probably should have, considering the shit the two of you were about to get being literal minutes away from getting married.
“Javier! Get you A-S-S up here! Kiss her all you want once you say I do!” Connie shouted, rolling her eyes at the two of you, Javi pulling away in defense with his hands raised, trying to prove his innocence.
“Oh, I know what that one spells, Mrs. Murphy! That one spells-”
“Javi? Please?” Connie asked again, quickly trying her best to cut off your niece, Olivia, before she could finish the rest of her thought in front of everyone else, making the group giggle at her matter of factness.
“Okay, okay, I’m here!” Javi pleaded, making his way to the front of the procession, taking his place next to his dad as Connie did one more check through of everyone’s spot in line before giving the music an all clear to start playing.
As you stood at the end of the line, you peeked up to see Javi turned around staring back at you with that same stupid smile on his face, completely enamored and awestruck by you, already convincing you that you were going to turn into a puddle before you could even make it down the aisle.
But as you went to re-adjust your bouquet in your grasp, you quickly realized there were not one, but two things missing from your procession line, now about to start walking down the aisle.
Your brothers.
Despite having seen them only seconds ago, as you quickly whipped your head around, they were now nowhere to be found.
“Charlie? David? Where the fuck did you go?” You whisper shouted, frantically looking around for any sight of them.
Suddenly, you heard a rustling from one of the bushes around the corner from where you had been lined up and waiting, followed by the all too familiar voices of your brothers up to no good.
“Just finish it you dingus, I already drank the first half!”
“Why the fuck did we leave this out here? It’s fucking warm. You got the better half, that’s not fair!”
“It was warm when I drank it too, dumbwad. Just finish it, we gotta fucking go, hurry up!”
As you peered behind the bush, you saw your brothers wiping their mouth with the back of their hands as the tossed a can of Miller Lite to the ground, freezing in fear as they saw your menacing and disappointed glare staring back at them.
“What the fuck do you two think you’re doing?!”
“It was David’s idea!” Charlie responded, pointing at his brother.
“Charlie didn’t say no!” David responded back, now pointing at him. “You didn’t expect us to get through this sober, did you? You’re the one who asked us to marry you, so I don’t know what to tell ya, Cubby. Plus, we wanted to pour one out for Patrick since he’s the luckiest bastard out of all of us and doesn’t have to worry about fucking up marrying his little sister.”
“God, you two are idiots. Well that thing you agreed to do is happening as we speak so can we go do that, please?” You sighed, trying your best not to laugh at your brother’s antics, knowing that you really should have expected nothing less from the pair after you and Javi had asked them to officiate your wedding, considering neither of you had wanted anything religious, and wanted someone who knew you to be the ones to do it.
“Okay, okay!” They replied, one rushing to each side of you and hooking their arm around yours as you made your way back to your spot at the end of the processional line that had now begun to move forward.
“Where were you 3 dumbbells? The ceremony is starting!” Your dad gruffed, trying his best to restrain from slapping each of you upside the head.
“Cubby wanted a beer.” David replied, shrugging his shoulders, keeping his head facing forward, trying his best not to laugh.
“Honey, seriously?!” Your mom scolded, looking at you with disgust.
“I did not! I was trying to find these two idiots!” You groaned, eying your brothers as they shook you back and forth between them in their grasp. “I hate you both, I hope you know that.”
“We love you too, Cubby.” Charlie smirked, knowing that for as much as you said it, there wasn’t a bone in your body that could hate your brothers. For as dumb and annoying as they were, there would never be another moment you would take for granted with them, knowing all too well that life was much too short to do anything but cherish your time together, wishing you had more time to spend with the brother who couldn’t be here with you today.
Before you could respond, your thought was interrupted by the voice of the DJ through the speakers set up outside, your heart steadily beginning to pound at the reality that everything you had been waiting for was all about to become real.
“Alright, ladies and gentlemen if you could please find your seats, we’re about to get started with our ceremony! Thank you so much, folks!” As his voice echoed through the speakers, a hush began to fall over the crowd of your friends and family that had gathered here, now anxiously alongside you for the ceremony to begin.
A few seconds passed before you could hear the music beginning to play, the familiar melody of “Everywhere” by Fleetwood Mac ringing through the speakers- an easily unanimous pick for a song to walk down the aisle to for you and Javi, remembering the first night you had spent together in your apartment, making midnight mac n’ cheese and already falling head over heels in love with each other.
As the beat began to pick up, your heart started to race, peaking over the backs of everyone’s heads to watch all 5 of your flower girls begin to skip down the aisle, throwing petals every which way around them as they moved.
You couldn’t help but laugh as all their little personalities shone through as they made their way to the altar- Olivia Murphy, being the oldest, most definitely was taking her role the most seriously, holding her baby sister in one hand and carefully sprinkling flowers evenly in front of her. Your niece, Olivia, was second in line to live up to her role, although, being the little ham she was, threw in the occasional twirl in the middle of the aisle to get people to look at her, along with her little waves to the crowd. The rest of the girls, Brianna, Abby and Madison, well, you were just happy that they made it down the aisle, thankful that their older sisters were at least on the lookout enough to keep them from running through the rows of your guests or dumping the entire bucket of flowers on themselves (you had learned your lesson from your rehearsal dinner that Brianna needed about half as less flowers as the others).
Your face lit up watching the girls, your heart filling with joy with the “awhs” and laughter from the crowd at their theatrics as they met at the altar with an impressively semi-rehearsed curtsy, followed by promptly running out of the spotlight and over to Connie who was waiting for them.
Now that the flower girls had finished making their way down, the processional line began to shift forward once again, this time, leaving Javi and his dad to walk down together, Javi insisting that even though his mom would have been the one to walk him down if she was here, that wanted Chucho to be there in her place instead.
“Ready, Mijo?” Chucho grinned, giving Javi a little nudge. “Am I going to have to keep you from sprinting down the aisle, or do you think you can manage walking?”
As the pair began walking down to the melodic beat of the song, Javi couldn’t help but laugh at his dad’s comment, because as much as he wanted to tease him right back, he knew damn well he was so excited that he would have run to the altar if it meant he got to marry you even a minute quicker.
“Javier?” Chucho asked, looking up at his son with tears in his eyes as the pair moved down the parted pathway between the crowd of guests.
“Yeah, Pops?”
“Estoy orgulloso de ti, mijo. Tu mama y yo. (I am so proud of you, son. Me and your mother.) We are so happy that you have found your media naranja (other half). Nosotros te amamos. (We love you so much.)”
As Javi and Chucho reached the end of the aisle, Javi wrapped his arms around his dad, pulling him close as Chucho patted him on the back, pulling away to look at his son, tears now in both of their eyes, thinking about how far they had come to end up where they were in this very moment, thanking whatever greater power that had finally brought them and Lucia the peace they all desperately deserved.
Javier Pena knew he was worthy of the love and happiness that his parents had longed for. He had finally proved to himself and his parents he really was the good man that he had hoped to be.
“I love you, Pops. Thank you for everything.” Javi whispered to his dad, trying to fight back any more tears from falling down his cheeks.
“Te amo mucho, Javier. (I love you so much, Javier). Thank you for finally realizing that who you are is enough. Now, stop crying over your old man and save some tears for your wife.” Chucho laughed quietly, giving his son another pat on the back with a soft smile wrinkling his cheeks.
“Yeah, I don’t think you’re gonna have to worry about that.” Javi chuckled, shaking his head at the tearful mess he already was, giving his father one last hug before Chucho took his seat next to Connie and the flower girls at the front of the crowd.
Steve was the next to make his way to the altar, Javi laughing at his friend’s goofy strut to greet him at the end of the aisle. Steve held out his hand to shake Javi’s before quickly pulling Javi in for another hug with pats to the back much harder than his fathers.
“Listen, man. I ain’t good at this sentimental shit, but uh- I’m really fuckin’ happy for you, Javi. I know I give you shit, but you’re one of the good ones. She’s a lucky girl. And I hope you know you’re sure as hell one lucky son of a bitch. Love you, man.”
“Love you too, Murph. Believe me, I know.” Javi grinned, giving Steve a slap on his shoulder laughing to himself as his friend sat down next to his wife and the girls, never imagining himself standing at the altar, happily waiting to get married while his former partner cheered him on, surrounded by his gaggle of giggly daughters.
Feeling worlds away from Javi, your heart began to beat faster and faster, realizing that you were now only one pair away from making your trek down the aisle as your mom and dad walked down next, arm in arm.
In classic mom fashion, your mother squeezed Javi so hard as she greeted him, that you were convinced that she was going to pop an eyeball out one of his sockets, thankful that your dad was there to reel her in enough to keep from suffocating him in her hug.
“Javi. We love you so much. Thank you for making our daughter so happy. We’re so grateful she found you.”
“Thank you. I love you both, too. Believe me, I’m just as grateful that she found me. Thanks for making me feel like a part of your family.” Javi replied to your mom, catching his breath through his smile after the death grip your mom had wrapped him in before looking over at your dad, extending his hand to meet his already outstretched one.
“Jav, you’re a good man. I’m a guy of few words, but we couldn’t be happier for you both. Take care of her, okay?”
“I will. I promise.”
With a silent handshake and a nod, Javi and your dad had said all they’d needed to know that they couldn’t be more thankful for the love and support the other had brought you in the times that you had needed it most.
As your parents made their way to their seats, standing at the opposite end of the aisle with your brothers at your side, the realization really hit you- You were the last one that needed to meet Javi.
“You ready, Cubby?” Charlie asked, giving you a grin as he smiled down at you, interlocking your arm with his as David did the same on the other side.
“Yeah, I’m ready. Hey, uh- I just, I just wanted to say, I-I love you guys.”
“Gross.” David teased, scrunching his face in disgust, pretending to barf over his shoulder as you and Charlie laughed, shaking your head at your brother. “We love you too, dude.”
With one final giggle and deep breath, you took your first step into view where everyone could see you, watching the guests rise to their feet in anticipation of your arrival, awestruck stares and smiles filling the crowd as you began to walk.
Even though you had seen each other minutes ago, as you started to make your way down the aisle, smiling at Javi, the two of you couldn’t help but break into tears once again, laughing through your sobs that Javi broke before you did, trying to wipe his wet cheeks with the back of his hand while he watched you walk towards him.
And even though every pair of eyes were on you, the only eyes you needed to see were Javi’s- The sweet, soft brown eyes that you had fallen so deeply in love with from the moment you had locked eyes with them all that time ago. They were the eyes of the first person who had ever truly seen you for who you were, inside and out, and you couldn’t be more thankful that when you looked at him, you saw your forever. When you looked at Javier Pena, you knew you were home.
It almost felt as if time was standing still, that even in a crowd full of people, no one else existed besides the two of you. No one else mattered, and nothing else mattered- the only thing that mattered for you was Javi waiting for you at the end of the aisle, and you? You were going to finally be his wife.
“You two are so in love, it’s fucking sick.” David whispered in your ear, helping to ease your tears as you burst into more laughter, rolling your eyes at your brother.
“Oh shut up, asshole.”
As you, David and Charlie finally made your way to Javi, waiting for you in a mess of happy smiles and loving tears, you had to use everything in you to keep from jumping onto him like a koala and kiss him all over his stupidly handsome face, resorting to reaching out to grab his hand instead, interlocking it with yours and giving it the tightest squeeze you could.
“Hey, Mr. Peña. Long time, no see.” You whispered into Javi’s ear, giving him a quick peck on the cheek before took his other hand in yours, the two of you facing each other in front of your friends and family as David and Charlie took their place behind you, pulling out their notes that they had prepared, clearing their throats as they began to address the crowd.
“Alright everyone, I uh- I guess we’re gettin’ this show on the road.” Speaking out into the crowd, Charlie began to flip to the right page of his script that you were relieved to see he had written out, your guests beginning to silence and bringing their attention to you and Javi.
“Hi everyone, for those of you who don’t know us, we are the bride’s brothers, and we have the honor of our sister and our new brother-in-law being stupid enough to let us be in charge of marrying them today. Not to worry, 20 dollars and one course on the internet later, David and I are both legally ordained, so not to fear you two, this will all be legit, and hopefully not too embarrassing.” Charlie laughed, also eliciting giggles and eye rolls from you and Javi, as well as the crowd.
“Well, we are gathered here today, because these two idiots have fallen so head over heels for each other, it's almost sickening. We’ve had the privilege of knowing our sister for the entirety of our lives. When we found out as kids that our mom was having another baby, and that it was going to be a girl, my brothers and I were disappointed, to say the least. We didn’t want a sister to ruin the bond that we had, and honestly, for a long time while my mom was pregnant, we went through a long baby boycott, and were convinced if we protested long enough, and hard enough, she would eventually turn into a boy, and everything would be fine.” David grimaced, shrugging his shoulders at you as you nodded in agreement, having heard this story from your brothers and parents plenty of times before.
“And while at first, we weren’t really sure what to do with a sister, considering we didn’t even realize it was an option to pee sitting down until she came around,” Charlie snickered, making the crowd laugh again, aside from your mom, who was rolling her eyes so hard, they probably had made it to the back of her head, “Our sister ended up being one of the best things that could have ever happened to us.”
Breaking your eye contact with Javi, you paused to look over at your brother, a genuine smile on his face, raising his eyebrows and shrugging as if to say I’m just as surprised that I’m saying this out loud as you.
“Growing up with our sister has taught us a lot of things- Don’t challenge her to anything you don’t wanna lose at, because she’ll find a way to beat you, and thoroughly kick your ass while she does it, she’s got more brain cells that myself, Charlie, and our late brother Patrick did put together, she’s tougher than most guys I know, and she’s one of the biggest hearted people I’ve ever met.” Looking back at Javi, you could see his face beaming with joy, giving your hand a squeeze, agreeing with everything your brothers had to say, and how all of those traits had made him fall so madly in love with you.
“So, like brothers do, we never assumed that there would never be anyone good enough, let alone even cool enough for our badass sister. And also like brothers do, we let her go through her fair share of duds and gave her shit, but when this guy came around,” Charlie smiled, pointing at Javi, “we knew that he was something special.”
“Javi,” David joined in pointing, giving him a playful smirk, “Don’t think you were getting out of this so easy. When we first heard that our sister had made her way down to the middle of nowhere Texas and had started seeing you, our first reaction was instant disapproval, because if you lived in south Texas, you probably knew jackshit about hockey, and that was a no go for us.”
“But,” Charlie interjected, “After talking to our sister more on the phone, not only was she starting to turn into the happy, energetic self we hadn’t seen in so long, we also learned after talking to her that you not only had been willing to watch hockey with her, but had began to openly express your disdain for the Detroit Red Wings, which made us change our opinions on you very quickly.”
You and Javi looked at your brothers, rolling your eyes in laughter as they shrugged at you, the roar of cackles from the crowd making you grin, feeling the love from your brothers, friends and family swell in your chest, holding Javi’s hands even tighter, gazing up at him with an awestruck smile.
“No in all seriousness, Jav. We couldn’t be happier that you not only have become a part of our sister’s life, but our family’s life, too. For those of you who don’t know, we um- we, uh-,” David gulped, taking a deep breath, trying to hold back the tears welling in his eyes, “our other brother, Patrick, um, passed away last year, and it uh, it was really hard on all of us, especially our sister. Javi, man, I don’t think you’ll ever understand how thankful we are that you love our sister so unconditionally. Better yet, that you love our family of idiots so unconditionally, because truth be told, we are not an easy bunch to love. While obviously, you can’t ever replace Patrick, I just, I hope you know that we’re so glad to have you as a brother, and that Patrick really would have loved you, man. He would be so happy that you’re the one our sister gets to spend the rest of her life with.”
For what felt like the 117th time today, you found yourself in absolute tears, feeling the wetness streaming down your cheeks as you looked down at the #2 patch sewn on the bottom corner of your veil in a beautiful mixture of sadness and joy before looking up to see not a dry eye in front of you, both your brothers and Javi misty eyed and sniffling. Breaking his grasp from yours, Javi stepped towards your brothers, wrapping his arms around both of them to pull them into a long, tight hug, Charlie and David reciprocating as their arms patted his back.
“Thank you guys.” Javi whispered, choking back his tears as he pulled away to look at your brothers, all of you wiping your wet faces with your hands to try and compose yourselves to carry on with the ceremony.
“Damn, okay, well, sorry about that, folks, was not expecting that.” Charlie and David laughed, trying to shake off their unusually sappy sentiment, looking out at the crowd to see not a dry eye in the house. “Well um, well that’s enough of us yapping at you guys, why don’t we turn it over to the people you’re actually here for, and then you can cry even more because these two idiots decided to write their own vows, so good luck.”
Staring up at Javi, you could feel your heart begin to race wildly, your hands nearly trembling as you reached out towards Javi to take the little notebook where you had written down your vows, feeling a little more at ease as you saw that Javi’s hands were just as shaky as yours, the two of you overflowing with anxious anticipation.
It had been no question to either of you that you had wanted to write your own vows to one another. While it seemed to be that everyone else you knew had seemed to avoid writing their own vows because they weren’t sure what to say, or that it was too hard to think of things, you and Javi seemed to find yourselves having the opposite problem, feeling like there was too much to fit in a few short minutes, and that your vows were going to end up being the length of a college lecture.
There had been a part of you that had worried you would be nervous to read what you had to say to Javi in front of all your friends and family, but as you stood there, smiling up at his beautiful, handsome face, you couldn’t be more excited to share all of the things you had written to tell your husband just how much you loved him.
But as the two of you stood face to face, your vows in each of your hands, your stomach dropped in shock, realizing that neither of you was making the first move to start talking. Because for all the planning and preparing that you had done for everything else, the both of you had completely forgotten to pick who was going to read their vows first.
“We never picked who was gonna go first.” You whispered to Javi, your voice filling with nerves every second you stood in front of your guests, neither one of you saying anything.
“Oh fuck, you’re right. What do you wanna do? Do you wanna go? Do you want me to go?” Javi asked, his face mirroring yours in surprise, now frantically looking back and forth between you, his vows, and all of your guests.
You weren’t sure if it was the teacher in you, or the fact that you were so flustered that you couldn’t think of anything else, but before you knew it, you were tucking your vows under your arm, holding one hand out in front of you flat and the other in a fist, signifying to Javi that your best solution to your current predicament was playing rock, paper, scissors.
“Best 2 out of 3?” You shrugged, grimacing at Javi as you tried not to burst into laughter, Javi shaking his head and snickering, raising an eyebrow at you.
“You’re ridiculous, I hope you know that. Do you wanna go after ‘rock’ or say ‘shoot’, then go?” Javi asked, loud enough for your guests to catch on to what was happening, giggles and laughter coming from the crowd.
“What kind of psychopath doesn’t say ‘shoot’ first? Javier Peña, are you telling me that we need to call off this wedding right now because you don’t say ‘shoot’ before playing rock, paper, scissors? Because I will.”
Everyone around you was now in full blown hysterics, including Javi, giving you the sassiest look he could muster through his laughter, holding his hands out to mirror yours.
“So ‘for better or for worse’ doesn’t apply to rock, paper, scissors, apparently?” He teased, smirking at you with a subtle wink as he bit down on his lip.
“Not if you’re gonna play like that it won’t.”
“Pendejo.”
“You love me.”
“I really fucking do.”
Giggling as you gestured at your outstretched fist, you began to countdown from your “rock, paper, scissors, adding an extra emphasis on ‘shoot’ as you held out rock and Javi held out scissors. With another laugh, the two of you started again, this time, you with paper and Javi with rock, smirking as you crossed your arms over your chest at Javi, the rest of your guests laughing right along with you.
“Winner, winner, chicken dinner, Javier Peña. You’re stuck going second.”
“Go for it, you dork.”
As the laughter from the crowd settled, you opened your vows book, taking a deep breath as you stared up at Javi, who, despite your silliness, still had tears beginning to well in his puppy dog brown eyes before you could even say your first word. You took one last gulp of confidence, wondering how in the world you were supposed to make it through even a sentence through your speech without falling apart.
“I never used to believe in fate. People would always tell me that ‘some things are just meant to be!’ or ‘it was just fate it happened like that!’ and no matter how hard I tried to believe, fate just never made sense to me. Well, that was until about a year ago, when fate decided to bump right into me when I least expected it.” You could feel your voice already beginning to shake, huffing in a quick sniffle before continuing on.
“As fate may have it, I quite literally bumped into you when you were forced to come give a presentation to a group of rowdy 8 and 9 year olds. Thank god fate also was on my side that day- that I actually looked halfway presentable and wasn’t covered in spilled chocolate milk, glue, or the snot of whatever kid had sneezed a little too close to me that morning.” That one had the better part of the crowd letting out a laugh alongside Javi, easing your stress and tension about your speech while you carried on, reading the notes jotted in your booklet.
“When I first came to Laredo, I wasn’t really quite sure what I was looking for. After my brother died and decided I needed to be as far away from Chicago as possible, there wasn’t ever really a doubt in my mind that here was the only place I really wanted to be. I spent the better half of my middle school and high school vacations here, visiting my best friend who had moved away. To me, Laredo was always a place that brought me such peace and comfort. I’m not really sure why, but there was always something about being here for those few weeks every year that made it feel like home, even when home was halfway across the country. But what I didn’t realize, was that in my attempt to find a new home for myself, I began to learn that home wasn’t a physical location, or a place you could travel to. After meeting you, Javier Peña, I found out that home was wherever I was with you.”
Taking a shaky breath, you looked up from your vows to see sweet Javi, covering his mouth, as if he was trying to trap his tears to keep from completely breaking down at your words, his reaction only making you cry harder, trying your best to re-compose yourself before speaking again.
“I spent so long wondering if I would ever find someone who would ever make me feel the way that you do- to love me for all of my flaws, to make me feel important, and even laugh at all of my stupid jokes that probably don’t deserve to be laughed at, but you love me enough to do it anyways. Now that’s true love.” You smirked, raising your eyebrow at Javi, making the two of you snicker between your tears. “You make me feel like the only person in the world whenever I’m with you. The only person who knows me better than I know myself. You are truly one of the most thoughtful and caring people that I have ever met. And while I could list off a million adjectives to describe all of the reasons I fell in love with you- smart, brave, determined, handsome- just to name a few, out of all of those reasons, the one that made me fall for you the most was your big heart. And while I know you’ll never believe me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to get you to see the same amazing man I fall more and more in love with every single day.”
At this point, there was not a dry eye in the crowd, watching how emotional you and Javi were as you tried to choke your way through the rest of your vows.
“I will never know what I did to deserve you in my life, but promise that I will spend the rest of it letting you know how forever thankful I will always be that out of all the people in the world you could have chosen to bump into, that it was me. I am so excited that the rest of my life, all of the moments, big, small, and everything in between, will all be moments spent with you. That every moment will be spent with my best friend. I never would have thought that a little bit of fate would have become my forever, but I’ll always be so grateful that it is. I love you so much, Javier Peña. Thanks for being the reason I finally believe in fate.”
Wiping away the wetness streaming down your cheeks, you could barely even look at Javi, who was an absolute blubbering mess, laughing through your tears almost to keep you from completely melting into a puddle.
Reaching out to grab him, you took Javi’s hand in yours, squeezing it reassuringly as you took your other hand up to wipe the tears streaming down his cheeks, the both of you smiling as you looked into each other's eyes.
“And that’s why I wanted to go first. Good luck.” You chuckled, making Javi shake his head as he laughed along with you, taking another deep breath before flipping open his own vows, wondering how in the world he was ever going to make it through speaking, considering how easily he had fallen apart just listening to you.
“Jesus Christ, well I don’t know how I’m really supposed to follow that.” Javi sighed, the crowd giggling at his remark as he opened up to his first page, staring at his words for a moment before looking back up at you, his deep, chocolate, puppy dog eyes melting you just as quickly as the first time that you locked eyes with him.
“I’ve uh- I’ve never really been great speeches. When I sat down to write this, I wasn’t really sure where to start. I had no idea how I was supposed to fit all of the things that I wanted to say into all of this.” Javi huffed with a little shrug, gesturing to his notebook.
“So I um- I figured if there’s anywhere I should start, it should probably be at the beginning. My mom was an elementary school teacher, so growing up, I spent a lot of time at Alma Pierce Elementary School. I swear, I knew that place like the back of my hand. But um, after my mom got sick and passed away, I really never thought I’d ever have a reason to back. Until one day last year, I was told to pack up my stuff to go give a presentation at a local elementary school, which turned out to be none other than Alma Pierce. My mom always used to say “La vida es graciosa, no lo crees?” (Life is funny, isn’t it?), and I never quite understood why. But as I walked back into the place where I had spent so much of my life just out of chance, I swear I could hear her laughing at me, saying “Te lo dije.” (I told you so).”
You could hear everyone who had had the privilege of knowing Lucia letting out a soft laugh, thinking of all of the times they must have heard her say that all too familiar phrase throughout their time knowing her.
“I had gotten to a point in my life that I had kind of just accepted that maybe this kind of life wasn’t in the cards for me. I wasn’t gonna get married or have a family, and as much as it hurt, I had learned to be okay with it. The last thing I would have thought would have happened to me after leaving the presentation I had to give that day was that I was already head over heels in love with the most beautiful woman I had ever seen in my entire life, but la vida es graciosa, no le crees?”
Giving you a little smirk, Javi could help but let a smile slowly spread between his cheeks as he looked at you, gazing up at him in complete and utter adoration, your goofy grin mirroring his.
“Never in a million years would I have thought that I would have been standing here today, getting married to you. If you would have told me that I got to marry the most beautiful, amazing, kind, and stubbornly independent woman on the face of this earth, I would have laughed in your face. I honestly still feel like I need to pinch myself to prove that this is even real. But I guess that even if this is all a dream, I don’t ever want to wake up. Being loved by you has changed me in a way that I will never be able to thank you enough for. Being loved by you has made me a better man than I ever believed that I could be. A better man than I ever thought I deserved to be. A man who has learned to love and believe in love in ways I didn’t think I was capable of. I will never be able to thank you enough for letting me into your life and loving me for who I am, and for wanting to spend the rest of it with me.”
Now, it was your turn to morph into an inconsolable mess, reaching out to grab Javi’s hand again, silently reassuring him that you were equally as grateful for the fact that Javi had let you into his life, too.
“And no matter how tough, or challenging, or funny life gets, I know it can never really be that bad, because I’ll always have you by my side through it all. I think my mamá would be so proud to know I finally understand what she was trying to say all those years about life being so funny. Because it seems like life has a funny way of giving you everything you’ve ever wanted. Te amo, Osita. Gracias por ser mi todo. (I love you, Osita. Thank you for being my everything).”
Without even thinking, you threw your arms around Javi’s shoulders wrapping him in a long, tight hug, sobbing into his jacket in a fit of happy tears, Javi hugging you right back, squeezing around your waist, gently cradling the back of your head in the warmth of your embrace.
“Well shit… Alright, well I’m not sure if you guys are allowed to do that, but after those vows, I think we can let it slide.” David joked, trying to quickly wipe his eyes, nudging Charlie to do the same to try and pull themselves together to make sure they could finish out the rest of the ceremony.
“Fuck, sorry.” Javi whispered, reluctantly pulling away from you, everyone in the crowd following your brothers’ suite, smiling as they brushed away the wetness welling in their own eyes from listening to your vows.
“Well, I’d ask if anyone needs to object before we continue, but I think it’s pretty darn clear that these two idiots love each other more than life itself, so I’m just gonna skip that part.” Charlie joked, making you and Javi smirk in agreement. “Alright Miss Olivia, it’s your time to shine, do you have the rings?” He asked, your niece’s face lighting up in excitement as she nodded her head frantically, shooting up out of her seat to dash towards the two of you, carefully holding the ring box like a newborn baby bird in her hands.
Daintily, she passed the box off to her dad before scampering over to both you and Javi, wrapping her arms around your waists to pull you close in a hug, smiling up at each of you with her toothy, goofy grin.
“I love you Auntie Bear and Uncle Javi.” Olivia beamed, giggling in pure bliss and joy before skipping back to her seat among the guests, the both of your hearts bursting at the seams with the chores of “awhhhhs” coming from the crowd for your adorable niece.
“Someone’s trying to get an extra slice of cake tonight huh, Miss Olivia?” David teased, your guests erupting with laughter at her not so innocent shrug to her Uncle’s question, knowing damn well she was just as much of a ham as you. “I trusted the six year old to carry these, can I trust you two not to drop them, or do you need to cry some more first?”
“Oh shut up, David.” You sighed, rolling your eyes at your brother as you and Javi each took the rings to give one another, carefully holding the shiny gold bands in your hands, counting down the moments until you finally got to say “I do”.
“Alright, ladies first, so I guess that means you, Cubby. You ready?”
“I don’t think I’ve ever been more ready for anything, you dingus, get this show on the road.”
“Alright, here goes nothin’. This is the part I actually had to practice, so God forbid I mess this one up huh? Do you,” David giggled, saying your real name instead of the nicknames you had lovingly bestowed upon you for as long as you could remember, “Take Javi to be your husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, as long as you both shall live?”
“I do.”
Carefully slipping the gold band onto Javi’s finger, you could feel your heart bursting in anticipation, biting down on your lip to try and contain your excitement, slowly pulling your hand away to let your brothers finish the second half of the exchange.
“And do you, Javier Peña, take our sister,” Charlie and David snickered again, having to say your full name for a second time, “to be your wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, as long as you both shall live?”
“I do.”
Gently grabbing your palm and gliding the glistening ring onto your finger, Javi rubbed his thumb over the pair of bands nestled together, forever making a home on your hand, his eyes welling at the sight of the sign that you would always be his.
Intertwining your fingers together and hands clasped in front of you, you and Javi were radiating with joy, anxiously staring back and forth between each other and your brothers for them to finally say those magic words you had been waiting to hear since the moment you had met all that time ago.
“Well ladies and gentleman… by the power vested in us, the internet and the state of Texas, it’s our honor to introduce to you the new Mr. and Mrs. Peña.” Charlie grinned at you, trying not to burst into laughter at the near panicked look on your faces, not having heard the next set of words you were more than dying to hear.
“Well go on, you lovebirds, kiss already!” David snickered, shrugging at the pair of you with a grin on his face.
Before he could barely finish his sentence, Javi’s hands were cupping your face, palms cradling your jaw as he brought his mouth to yours, fireworks exploding in your stomach at the electric intensity of his kiss, so soft and tender, yet so desperate and needy, like it was the first time his lips had ever met yours, and that he never, ever wanted to let them go.
Your hands shot up to grab his face too, a smile creeping across your mouth with your lips still pressed to his as Javi dipped you down, sliding his hand down the small of your back to hold you before pulling you back up, his lips still locked on yours like glue.
In that moment, it seemed like time stood still, that nothing else in the world existed besides the two of you- nothing else mattered besides the fact that you were here, kissing the man that you loved more than anything in the world.
The man that you finally got to call your husband.
Over the cheers, whistling, and hollering from your friends and family, the both of you were finally snapped back to reality as David gave you a little nudge and a look that screamed “gross, save it for the honeymoon.”
Reluctantly breaking from your kiss, you grabbed Javi’s hand in yours, holding your fists in the air and cheering in excitement right alongside your guests before heading back up the aisle, your cheeks hurting from how hard they were smiling. So lost in your excitement, you turned your head as you felt Javi stop, tugging you back to the middle of the aisle, smirking as he pulled you close to his chest, whispering in your ear.
“Not so fast, Mrs. Peña. C’mere.” Grabbing your face and wrapping his arm around your waist, Javi was kissing you again, swinging you down in another dip that had you erupting in giggles and your guests cheering even louder, Javi’s smooth moves soliciting a loud “OW OW” most definitely from Steve.
“God, I love you.” You smirked as Javi pulled you back up to stand before the two of you were nearly skipping down the rest of the aisle in bliss, racing to the back of the crowd where you had entered the ceremony, turning the corner behind the house where no one could see you, not even bothering to look over your shoulder to see who’d followed you before your lips were crashing into each others again.
This one was nowhere near as tame as the kisses you had just shared moments ago- this kiss was a tangled mess of tongues and teeth, Javi’s hands creeping dangerously close to the curve of your ass as you tugged at the lapels of his suit jacket, your mouths moving in a messy dance as you whispered muffled and muted words between your kisses.
“Fuck, my beautiful wife. God, I’m so fucking lucky. I love you so much.”
“I love you so much too, Javi, I’m so-”
“Jesus Christ, it’s been 30 seconds and y’all can’t keep your hands to yourselves? C’mon, now. Y’all gotta whole week and a half to do this without having to subject the rest of us to it, Mr. and Mrs. Peña.” Steve laughed, making the both of you gasp as he slapped Javi on the back, immediately making your cheeks flush pink in embarrassment and Javi groan in annoyance at his best man’s timely (or untimely) disruption.
“Steve, c’mon like you didn’t have your hands all over me after we got married.” Connie sighed, now smacking the back of her own husband’s head, making him wince in pain. “Congratulations, you two. We’re so happy for you.”
“Thanks, Connie.” You and Javi smiled, Javi still keeping his hand wrapped around your waist as the rest of your wedding party started making their way back up the aisle to greet you, too.
“Also having gotten married before, you’re gonna thank me later as I make you go find your brothers to sign your marriage license somewhere that has a little peace and quiet before you get none the rest of the night. Why don’t you guys head inside and I’ll cover for you for a little, okay?”
“You’re the best, Connie, thanks.” Javi grinned, pulling you away towards the house, quietly sneaking in through the front door to wait for your brothers, Javi looking both ways around the seemingly empty house before pulling you close again.
“Javi, Charlie and David are gonna be in here any minute, and they’re gonna give us just as much shit as Steve, if not more.” You giggled, gazing up into Javi’s eyes, still awestruck and giddy.
“I know. Just one more kiss, mi esposa (my wife).” Javi smirked, tilting his head down to press his lips to yours, his thumb tracing soft circles on your cheek as the rest of his fingers cradled your jaw, tilting your eyes up towards him. “Fuck, you’re finally my wife. I don’t think I’ll ever get over that.”
“Good thing we have the rest of our lives to get used to it, huh?”
People weren’t kidding when they said that your wedding would be a blur- From the moment the ceremony ended, it felt like everything was moving in fast and slow motion at the same time, being pulled in every direction to talk with family members, take pictures, and make sure that things were running smoothly. As much as you and Javi were both trying to soak in every moment of your special day together, it was safe to say the two of you were feeling a little overwhelmed by the time you had gotten to dinner, and couldn’t have been more thankful to have a moment to finally sit down.
More importantly, you were so glad that you had gotten to the point where you had a drink, some delicious food in your stomach, and the best part of the night ahead of you- dancing.
The sun was beginning to set on the horizon of the Peña ranch as dinner was coming to a close, the clanging of forks and knives against dinner plates slowly shifting to chatter and conversation that was filling the space of the white tent that had been propped up in the backyard for your reception.
You weren’t really sure what to expect when you had decided on a backyard wedding, but with the absolutely stunning work your mom, Connie, sister in law, and Javi’s aunt’s had put together for you, they had made a white tent feel like something out of a fairytale. String lights and greenery were strung across above you, long tables decorated in candles and beautiful garlands of eucalypts, sprinkled white and pink roses from Lucia’s garden, along with cute, colorful vintage cups that the women had collected or thrifted for your guests to use. Everything about your setup felt magical, and with the sun sinking and fading into dusk, the glow and twinkles of the lights illuminating your space only made it feel that much more incredible.
As the two of you sat at your head table, bellies full and hearts happy, feeling a little tipsy from the extra strong margaritas Javi’s cousin seemed to be making, you were a little worried as what looked like a more than just tipsy Steve approached you, slapping a stack of index cards in front of you.
“Listen… I’m like the perfect level of drunk to give this best man speech. Any less drunk and I’ll be too fuckin’ nervous to do it, and any more drunk I’m not gonna be able to remember what I’m supposed to say. Y’all good to keep this movin’ so you can do your first dance and then we can get this party started?”
“Jesus Christ, Murph…” Javi sighed, laughing at his friend, now sassily crossing his arms over his chest at Javi. “This speech better be good.”
“It’s good, and Connie approved, so you know I won’t say any dumb shit. Well, not if we don’t start soon and I keep drinking more.” Steve paused, letting out a low burp, rubbing his stomach and grimacing at the two of you, snorting at him.
“Take it away, Shakespeare.” You smiled, gesturing your arm out to the dance floor in front of the guests sitting at their tables, chatting away. You couldn’t help but laugh as Steve confidently made his way to the front of the crowd, Connie silently mouthing “I’m so sorry” from across the room, pointing at her husband, now ready to take the stage.
“Hey y’all,” Steve started, bellowing his voice loud enough to catch everyone’s attention, making them pause their chit chat and focus their attention on him. “I’m Steve Murphy. For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Javi’s best man. Normally it’s customary for a guy like me to come up and say a few words about the bride and groom, so lucky for y’all, I’m your guy tonight. You’re welcome, Jav.”
The crowd laughed as Javi sighed, rolling his eyes at Steve and shaking in his head in fear of what was to come, sliding your hand over to rest on his thigh, giving your now husband a little squeeze of reassurance to have some faith in his friend.
“I have had the pleasure of knowing Javi for a long time now. It’s been, what, 17 years now, Jav?” Steve asked, turning back to look for confirmation.
“It’s been too long.” Javi replied, shaking his head, his witty response only making your friends and family laugh more.
“Whatever, you grumpy old bastard. Anyways, I first met Javi when I found out that I would be his partner down in Colombia working for the DEA. Not gonna lie, when I first met him, while I’ve never admitted this until now, I was pretty intimidated by the guy. He was cool, smart, respected, even though his jeans were way too fuckin’ tight.” Steve teased, winking at Javi, making you snicker from the few pictures you had seen from back in the day when Javi was in Colombia, knowing exactly what Steve meant.
“I’ll spare you all the details of our time down there, but through all of our trials and tribulations, despite our differences and disagreements, the one thing I always admired about Javi is that he really cared about what he did. No matter what, he always cared about trying to do the right thing for the people he cared most about. Now, believe me, if you would have asked me all those years ago if I would have ever pictured Javi here today, gettin’ married, buildin’ a house and talkin’ about startin’ a family? Well shit, I prolly woulda told you that you were bat shit crazy. But, if there’s anyone in the world who deserves every ounce of all that domestic, lovely dovey bliss, it’s this man right here.” Steve smiled softly, pointing back to Javi who couldn’t help but let his heart fill with warmth at the sentiment from his friend, your hand rubbing up and down Javi’s leg, his grasping over yours to hold it tight.
“Javi, I know you’ll never believe me when I tell you this, but I’m real proud of ya, man. And I hope you know how goddamn lucky you are that this beautiful woman has agreed to spend the rest of her life with your grumpy ass. Speaking of which…” Steve smirked, turing back to look at you with a goofy grin, making you raise an eyebrow at whatever stupid comment was bound to come out of his mouth.
“Mrs. Peña. I never thought I’d live to see the day Javi was so in love. When he called me a few weeks after the two of you first met, and was all jazzed and excited to tell me about this beautiful girl he had started datin’ and how happy he was, I just about damn near fell down. He never said it on that phone call, but I knew that this sorry shit was absolutely head over heels in love with you.”
That comment had you giggling at Javi’s blushing face, his cheeks turning pink at Steve’s story, even though he knew damn well it was the truth.
“I couldn’t think of anyone who would be more perfect for Javi if I tried. When I first met you and saw how sickeningly cute y’all were together, God’s honest truth, my first question I asked Javi was when he was plannin’ on buyin’ a ring. Glad to see that sometimes he’ll take my advice. Sweetheart, I can’t thank you enough for being so good to my best friend right there. I hope he knows how lucky he is to have someone like you.”
Grabbing your hand, Javi interlocked his fingers with your underneath the table, softly smiling at you and gently nodding his head in agreement.
“I also need to thank you that he’s finally got someone else to worry about him instead of me. One less thing off my back. No offense, Jav. Alright, well, y’all have probably heard enough of me yappin’, and y’all are anything like me, you’re ready for more drinkin’ and dancin’. To Mr. and Mrs. Peña-” Steve paused, grabbing the nearest drink he could find and raising it up in the air, prompting the rest of your guests to do the same. “Wishin’ you two lovebirds a lifetime of happiness. I love you guys. Cheers!”
Over the applause and cheerful shouting, Steve rushed his way back over to the two of you, slotting himself in between your seats so his head poked out between yours, wrapping his arms around both your shoulders and pulling you in for a hug.
“Nice work, Murph.” Javi smiled, patting Steve on the back, laughing to himself at how genuinely thoughtful Steve’s speech had turned out to be.
“Thanks, Steve. Your speech was really great. How much did Connie have to edit out?” You snickered, looking back between him and Javi.
“... Let’s just say I left out the part about y’all horny bastards needin’ to be better about lockin’ your doors when other people are around.” Steve chuckled, shaking both of you in his grap, You and Javi’s eyes sheepishly darting to the ground in embarrassment.
“Fuck off, Murph.”
“Love you too, Jav.”
With one last pat on the back for each of you, before you could say anything else, Steve was already halfway across the tent back to the bar to congratulate himself for getting through his speech without any major slip ups or major scoldings from Connie after he returned back to his table.
“Thank God for Connie.” You grimaced, laughing at Javi whose face was buried in his palm, shaking his head at his friend, wondering why he would expect any less from him. “...He’s not wrong, though.”
“I’m triple checking that I lock all the doors later so I don’t give him any more reasons to be right…” Javi sighed, giving you a little nudge while the hand that had been holding yours suddenly let go, resting on your thigh over your dress, giving it a long squeeze, making your heart race in anticipation, his eyes locking with yours, telling you everything you needed to know.
Some way, some how, Javi was going to find a way to fuck you before the night was done.
“Javi…” You whispered, heat creeping through your cheeks, trying your best to keep from blushing as you locked eyes with him, his devilish grin and lust pooling in the dark brown of his eyes entrancing you in a way that had butterflies swirling in your core and ache rapidly beginning to grow between your legs.
“Si, Mi esposa?” (Yes, my wife?), Javi smirked back, running his hand further up your thigh and closer to your core as his other hand came up to cup your face, thumb tracing back and forth across your skin, toying just enough to tug at the corner of your lip.
While you had gotten a little bit of alone time with Javi today, the way that the both of you had been absolutely insatiable for each other after seeing each other in your wedding attire, let alone the fact that you were now actually married? You and Javi were both dying to try and find a second to yourselves without interruption, especially from Steve.
So caught up in awe of each other, you and Javi hadn’t even noticed your DJ, standing next to your table, quietly clearing his throat to try and get your attention.
“Hey, uh- Mr. and Mrs. Peña?” He interjected, loud enough to finally snap you and Javi out of the horny stare down you had entered, “Are um- are you two ready for the first dance?”
“Oh, um- yeah, y-yeah, sorry about that.” Javi grumbled, the two of you quickly trying to snap out of the thick heat of sexual tension that had been growing between you, both readjusting yourselves in your seats as you looked up sheepishly at the DJ, “Sorry, what did you say?”
“I asked if you two were ready to do your first dance? If you um, if you need some more time I can-”
“No, we’re okay, thanks.” You grimaced, trying to keep from giggling and blushing as you looked over at Javi and then back at your DJ. “You ready to dance, Mr. Peña?”
“Never been more ready, Mrs. Peña.” Javi replied, grabbing your hand as the two of you stood up, out of your seats walking to the edge of the dance floor while your DJ headed back to his booth.
“Hello everyone! We’re going to get ready to start our first dance with the newlyweds, so if you could please direct your attention to the dance floor, we’re about to get started!”
Before you could even take a step out onto the floor, the cheering and clinking of knives against glasses was erupting amongst the crowd, Javi happily taking the opportunity to grab you by the waist and pull you in for a long, deep kiss, making you giggle against his lips still pressed to yours as he dipped you down, before pulling you back against his chest.
“Show off.” You snickered, raising an eyebrow at him as he finally pulled away from your kiss, staring down at you with a goofy grin.
“Better get used to it, Mrs. Peña. I’ve got the whole rest of our lives to keep showing you off.” Javi smirked, shooting you a wink before tugging you out into the center of the dance floor, patiently waiting for your song to start as you draped one arm around his neck, Javi snaked his hand around your waist, and the pair of your other hands joined clasped at your side.
It was then that the melodic violin entrance to “At Last” by Etta James began to play, Javi smiling down softly at your agreed upon choice for your first dance song after lots of debate and discussion the past few months.
At last
My love has come along
My lonely days are over
And life is like a song
As the music began to play, you and Javi began to sway back and forth to the syrupy symphony of the song, your heart bursting and stomach filling with the same butterflies it had the first time you had met Javi all those months ago.
“I’m glad we picked this one.” Javi smiled, the two of you circling your way around the dance floor, eyes locked on each other.
“Me too. It always makes me think of making breakfast with you on the weekend and all the little moments I love with you.” You grinned back, letting go of Javi’s hand to drape both arms over his shoulder and around his neck.
“It makes me think of spilling that entire bowl of pancake batter all over Bear and then having to chase him around the house to get him in the tub.” Javi sighed, rolling his eyes as he laughed to himself, tightening his grip around your waist to pull you closer.
I found a dream that I could speak to
A dream that I can call my own
I found a thrill to press my cheek to
A thrill that I have never known
“Me too. God, who would have thought that a year ago we’d be having our first dance at our wedding talking about spilling pancake batter all over our dog.” You giggled, leaning to rest your head against Javi’s chest.
“I did.”
Looking up at Javi, you could feel your cheeks warming, staring at his big brown eyes welling with tears, trying your best to now hold back the wetness pooling under your lashes.
“Osita, I swear, from the moment I saw you smile at me, I knew that you were the only woman in the world I ever wanted. I knew you were the one I wanted my forever with. I’ll never get over the fact that I’m the luckiest man alive. I love you so fucking much.” Javi choked back, letting one of his hands slide up your face, gently cupping your cheek as he tilted his head in for a soft kiss on your lips before pulling away for another one on your forehead.
You smiled, you smiled
Oh and then the spell was cast
And here we are in Heaven
As the song began to slow, the sweet melody winding down to its close, Javi lifted up his arm to let you twirl beneath him before spinning you back into his chest and wrapping his arm around your waist to catch you as he dipped you down again, your mouths meeting in a long, tender kiss, electricity sparking between your lips and butterflies swirling in your stomach.
For you are mine
At last
“I love you too, Javier Peña.”
Over the applause of your guests, you could hear an obnoxiously loud “OW OW” from the crowd, coming from a now even more intoxicated Steve, making you and Javi laugh at his reaction, swiftly followed by Connie’s sharp jab to his ribs to get him to settle down.
“Alright ladies and gents,” The DJ spoke over the rumble of voices at the dinner tables, “Let’s have one more big round of applause for our newlyweds!”
As the crowd began to clap again, and Steve, threatened by another blow to his side, cheering at an appropriate volume, the DJ spoke again with the announcement you had been patiently waiting for since the ceremony finished.
“Alright everyone, with our first dance done, it’s time for the best part of the night, the dance floor is officially open! Let’s party!”
As the blaring intro to “Jump Around” began to blast to your speakers, your friends and family rushed to the dance floor, you let out a squeal of surprise as Javi snatched you up around your middle, lifting you up to spin you around in a fit of giggles.
“Vamos a bilar, mi esposa.” (Let’s dance, wife)
The rest of the night was the best kind of celebration that you could have asked for- the joy of being surrounded by your friends and family, dancing the night away to your favorite songs, and drinking one too many margaritas with your husband was everything you could have asked for and more on your wedding night.
It was no shock to you that your family had no problem making absolute fools of themselves out on the dance floor, happily (and drunkenly) flailing along to every single song, although your brothers’ and Steve’s enthusiastic sing-along to “Baby Got Back” was impressive, to say the least.
And while you and Javi had expected your family to act a fool, what neither of you had expected was how excited Chucho was to bust out dance moves of his own, taking everyone by surprise as he joined all your co-workers and Javi’s co-workers (who had quickly become best friends on the dance floor), to shake his way through “Wannabe” by the Spice Girls, leaving you in hysterics, and Javi in stunned embarrassment at his dad’s antics.
As the evening began to creep later and later into the hours of the night, a very sleepy Olivia approached you and Javi on the dance floor, gently tugging at your dress and his pants for attention with puppy dog eyes plastered on her face that almost gave Javi’s a run for his money.
“Auntie Bear and Uncle Javi, can I pick a song? Pleaseeeeeee?” Olivia begged, pouting her bottom lip at the two of you, absolutely melting your hearts in an instant.
“Of course, mi amor.” Javi smiled, caving immediately as he crouched down to her level, her face lighting up in delight at her uncle’s response, coming close to whisper in his ear.
If you couldn’t have already been more in love with your husband, watching him listen intently to what your niece had to say, nodding in agreement before scoping her up to rest on his hip, you were practically in a puddle now.
“Me and Miss Olivia are gonna go make a song request.”
“But Auntie Bear, you have to let me dance with Uncle Javi first, okay?” Olivia quickly added, very adamantly.
“Of course, lil Miss. Have fun, you two.” You smirked as Javi and Olivia made their way over to the DJ, watching Olivia’s face light up instantly as the DJ agreed to her request, Javi carrying Olivia out to the middle of the dance floor and setting her down on the ground as the end of the song slowly began to fade into your niece’s song choice.
With her love for the movie, you shouldn’t have been surprised at all that her pick was “Can You Feel the Love Tonight” from the Lion King Soundtrack, but even though you weren’t shocked at her choice, there was nothing that going to be able to prepare you for the gut wrenching cuteness that was your now husband, dancing with your niece.
It had already gotten to the point in the night that Javi’s suit jacket and tie were long gone, 3 buttons undone and sleeves rolled up to his forearms, and the once neat curls of his dark hair now messily sweeping his forehead from your night of dancing, and if the sight of just how goddamn handsome Javi looked, on top of the fact he was now officially your husband, paired with the sight of him slow dancing to the Lion King with Olivia?
Your ovaries were just about shot to hell.
As the song played and Javi and Oliva spun around the dance floor in a fit of smiles and giggles, you couldn’t help but wish with every bone in your body that it was your daughter that Javi was dancing with, nearly falling to your knees the thought of making him a dad, on top of being your husband. And if that wasn’t enough, the two of you were finally married, and that meant half of your bargain to start trying for kids was complete- and with the other half being your house finally finishing with construction which was almost close to being done as well, you were so close to start trying for a baby of your own, you could almost taste it.
And that? That drove you crazy enough to feel like you were going to combust.
So stuck in your daydream, you didn’t even notice Olivia running up to you, now tugging at your dress again, letting out a little sleepy yawn as she tried to get your attention.
“Okay Auntie Bear, you can dance with Uncle Javi now. Thanks for letting me pick a song.” Olivia smiled as you sunk down to meet her, wrapping her in a hug.
“Of course, Olivia. Thank you for being the best flower girl today. I love you, cutie patootie. Alright, I’m gonna go dance with Uncle Javi now, okay?”
“I love you too, Auntie Bear. I think Uncle Javi misses you, he wouldn’t stop looking at you the whole time we were dancing. I think he wants to kiss you again, but that’s gross. Yuck.” Oliva grimaced, making you giggle as she stuck out her tongue before watching her scamper away back to her sisters and the Murphy girls to dance some more.
As you turned back, bracing yourself to stand back up, you were greeted with Javi’s large palm held out in front of you, pulling you up to greet his handsome grin while you looked up at him.
“I’ve been told I have permission to come dance with you now.”
“It did take some persuading, I told her I’d save an extra piece of cake for her if she let me go dance with you.” Javi chuckled, pulling you back out onto the dance floor, slowly swaying back and forth to the beat.
“Watching you two out there is dangerous.” You smirked, raising an eyebrow at Javi as he cocked his head in confusion.
“What do you mean, hermosa?”
“I mean,” You paused, standing up a little bit taller, throwing one arm over Javi’s shoulder, running your hand through the hairs at the nape of his neck to whisper in his ear, “Watching the two of you made me think about how much I wanna make you a dad. And now that we’re married and the house is almost done, we actually get to start trying soon.”
It took everything in Javi not to let out an audible moan, letting out a gulp and scrunching his eyes shut for a moment to try and maintain his composure at what you had just said to him, his grip around your waist immediately tightening and eyes darkening as he opened them, staring down at you, absolutely awestruck.
“Fuck me.” He muttered to himself, almost shaking his head in disbelief that after all of the time you had spent talking about wanting kids and nights you’ve had wishing there hadn’t been any birth control to keep you from having them were now an almost tangible reality, “Is that what you want, mi esposa? My wife wants me to give her a baby?”
Javi’s voice rasped in your ear, sending shivers down your spine, your stomach flipping in arousal at the hot breath of his words against your skin, knowing what had started as a sweet and simple moment of Javi dancing with Olivia had quickly shifted into a desperate want, no, need, for him to give you what you were asking for.
As the music slowly faded into the next song, bodies shuffling and dancing to the more upbeat tune that had followed Olivia’s choice, the both of your figures stood frozen on the dance floor in a silent exchange of racing hearts and yearning glances before Javi took your hand in his.
“Follow me.”
In an instant, Javi was tugging you across the dance floor, the two of you dodging and weaving your way through your guests with polite smiles and happy waves, doing everything you could to try and sneak away as discreetly as possible in hopes that everyone would be too preoccupied (or too drunk) to realize that you were gone.
But at this point, you really didn’t care whether anyone noticed if you were gone or not. Truth be told, the only thing you cared about was finally getting to fuck your husband.
Finally making it through the worst of the maze of people, you and Javi had made your way to the back porch, quietly peeking your heads through the door, checking to make sure the coast was clear before hastily slipping inside, gently shutting the door behind you before sneaking down the hall to Javi’s room, thanking whatever higher power had let the two of you get to his bedroom in peace.
From the moment Javi had shut the door behind him, you were all over each other in an instant, hands roaming across each other’s bodies as you stumbled until the back of your legs hit the mattress, flopping down onto the bed, Javi’s body caging yours in his frame. Your lips crashed together in a hungry clash, tongues, teeth and moans melting together between your mouths as Javi hiked up the skirt of your dress, running his hands along your thighs, squeezing the soft flesh in his firm grasp before his fingers crept towards your aching core, ghosting over the white, lacy fabric covering your cunt, already soaking with arousal.
“Fuck, you’re so wet, hermosa. My wife’s pretty little pussy all wet for me, huh?” Javi rasped, the pads of his fingers pressing more pressure over your covered clit, making you whimper in delight.
“It’s all yours, Javi. Yours forever, baby.” You moaned, your breath hitching in the back of your throat as Javi’s fingers dipped under the waistband of your underwear, collecting the slick pooling around your folds before plunging his two fingers inside your heat and thumbing at your sensitive bundle of nerves, pure bliss running through your veins at his touch.
Your response had Javi practically growling, a low groan rumbling in his chest as he looked down to see the golden and diamond bands glistening on your finger, awestruck at the beautifully blissed out mess you were already becoming as his fingers curled, prodding at the spongy spot inside you that he knew drove you wild.
“You’re so fucking perfect, Osita. My beautiful wife. Fuck- I can’t believe your mine. I love you so fucking much.” Javi groaned, his words muffled between the hot, wet kisses he kept planting on your lips, feeling your cunt beginning to clench around his digits.
“I l-love- fuck- I love you too, Javi.” You whimpered, the all too familiar tingle at the base of your spine beginning to build as Javi’s fingers pulsed in and out of your heat and thumb circled your throbbing clit, knowing with how worked up you were and how good he felt, it wouldn’t take much more before you were coming undone around his hand.
“I know you’re close, baby. Let go, hermosa. Cum for me so I can fuck my wife and show her how much I love her.”
“F-Fuckfuckfuck Javi. Don’t stop, baby, don’t s-sto-ahhhhhhhhh.”
With his thumb circling faster and harder around your sensitive bundle of nerves, and fingers plunging in and out of your weeping hole, it wasn’t long before you could feel that all too familiar tingle spreading throughout your body, your orgasm flooding through every inch of you as you came around his fingers, soaking his hand.
“That’s it, Osita. That’s my good girl. My good wife.” Javi groaned, making you whimper as he withdrew his fingers from your dripping heat, admiring the slick and shiny mess you had made around his fingers, entranced by the way your arousal had coated his wedding band as he brought his hand to his mouth, sucking his fingers clean before beginning to work at his belt. “You taste so fucking sweet, baby.”
You sat back up, looking over your heaving chest to see Javi shuffling his pants and boxers down his thighs, leaving them to pool around his ankles, revealing his cock, already so painfully hard and weeping with precum from his tip. Reaching down to run his fingers through your folds again, he collected your slick on his hand before rubbing it up and down his length, stroking himself to line up with your entrance.
“F-fuck, let me feel you baby, p-please.” You whined, reaching up to grab fistfuls of Javi’s shirt, tugging him down to kiss you and lay his body on top of yours.
“Jesus fucking Christ…” Javi moaned, slowly filling you up with his cock inch by inch until he had bottomed out against your cervix, letting you adjust to the fullness as he relished in the wet and warmth of your pussy gripping around him like a vice.
“M-move, Javi, please, baby.” The sweet sting and stretch of Javi’s length inside you already wanting to make your eyes roll to the back of your head.
Javi began to languidly thrust himself in and out of your heat, dragging his cock almost painfully slowly against your velvety walls, cursing under his breath at the feeling of his balls beginning to tighten in his stomach, knowing there was no way he was going to be able to last as long as he would have wanted to in the moment.
“Javiiiii” You whined, your arms wrapping around back, nails pressing into his shoulders as his cock hit the spot inside you that lit you ablaze. His hand snaked between your bodies, reaching down to rub your clit, still slow, taking his time with each graze of his fingertips as his pace held deep and steady. Every thrust in and out of his hips had you wrecked as he filled you so fully and intensely, moaning his name over and over while he grasped the meat of your thighs, pressing your knees against your chest to stretch you open even further.
“God you’re so beautiful. My beautiful fucking wife. Gonna be such a beautiful mom for our kids.” Javi grunted, this thrusts becoming faster and sloppier as he let the reality of his marriage and actual attempts to start trying for a family burn a hole in the forefront of his mind, igniting something even feral within him, knowing he was one step closer to finally giving you and him what you both wanted more than anything.
For Javi to get you pregnant.
The last sentence made your breath hitch in the back of your throat, whimpering at the notion that because you were finally married, there wasn’t much stopping you from tossing out your birth control tomorrow and trying to get pregnant by the end of the month.
“J-Javi-” You whined, trying to form any sort of coherent thought as your brain short circuited from the pure bliss and heart racing thoughts running through your brain.
“What, Osita?”
“I-I want you- oh shit- to fuck a baby into me, Javi. I wanna throw out the rest of my birth control- I don’t care if the house- Jesus- isn’t finished. I wanna stop taking it tomorrow. I w-want you to- fuck- fill me up and get me pregnant.”
You could practically feel the weight of Javi’s jaw dropping to the floor, eyes bulging out of his skull, and heart beating out of his chest, so shocked, he stopped himself mid thrust, just to make sure he had heard you correctly.
“Osita- baby, are you- holy fuck- baby, are you serious?”
You nodded your head frantically, grabbing the collar of his shirt to pull him in for an electric kiss before leaning back to whisper in his ear, your voice sultry and low.
“I need my husband to fuck a baby into me. Please. Fuck a baby into me, Javi.”
If Javi didn’t have his arms already braced on the bed, there’s no way in hell he wouldn’t have fallen over in pure delight at your request, his stomach now churning with the wildest mix of excitement, lust and pride, spreading up through his chest and across his face, the brown of his eyes darkening and awestruck smile widening.
“You want me to fuck a baby into you, Hermosa?” Javi asked, almost rhetorically, a devilish grin spreading between his cheeks as he began to pound into you again, not even giving you a chance to respond, knowing damn well what your answer was.
If his thrusts weren’t already frantically rushed and sloppy, they most definitely were now, Javi practically on the brink of his own high just from the thought of getting to fuck you, knowing there was a real, true chance of getting you pregnant, trying to fight with everything in him to keep from busting right then, needing to make sure that you came again before he did.
The lewd noises of your moans, wetness of Javi’s cock sliding in and out of you, and his hips snapping against yours coated the walls of the room, the both of you having no regard for anyone who may have been close enough to hear you, so caught up in the moment, that at this point, you couldn’t have cared less if anyone caught the both of you.
“Answer me, baby. Mierda- You want me to fuck a baby into you, huh? Want me to fucking fill you up and get you pregnant? Show everyone you’re mine with our baby growing inside you?” Javi grunted through gritted teeth, pounding into your g-spot with blinding force, frantically circling your clit as he felt your cunt begin to clench tighter and tighter around his cock, knowing you just needed a little bit more before he had you coming undone.
“Y-yes- fuckfuckfuck- I need you to, Javi, p-please baby, please, please, pleaaahhhhhhh-”
Just like that, you could feel yourself gushing around Javi’s cock as you came, your orgasm hitting you like a tidal wave, crashing through every inch of your body, euphoria flooding through your veins, screaming his name while he fucked you through your high, desperately chasing his own.
“I’ll give it to you baby, I- fuck me- I’ll give you everything you want. I’ll give you as many babies as you want. I’ll give you a family, I’ll give you my heart, my soul, my everything, my- oh fuck!”
Javi’s hips stuttered, forcing a low groan to rumble in his throat as he came, the hot ropes of his spend coating your walls, making sure to milk himself of every last drop inside you, still pulsing and thrusting inside you, ensuring that nothing went to waste.
Slumping his body on top of yours, your chests rose and fell in sync, trying your best to catch your breaths as you came down from your highs, your mouths meeting in a sloppy kiss to try and ground you back to reality.
“Holy fuck…” You whispered through your labored pants, laughing to yourself from the pure bliss of what had just happened, staring up at Javi with a radiant grin, brushing the sweat-dampened curls from his forehead.
Javi hissed as he carefully pulled out, leaning back enough to see the smile on your face, gently cupping your cheek as he looked down at you with a goofy grin of his own.
“Osita… Were you being- baby, were you serious about what you said?”
“Jav, I don’t think I’ve ever been more serious about anything in my entire life. Is-is that okay with you?” You asked, biting down on your lip.
“Is that okay with me?” He asked, almost mockingly, chucking to himself as he shook his head in disbelief, “We can really throw it away tomorrow?”
“Yup.”
“And you won’t bring it with you on the honeymoon?”
“Nope.” You replied, popping the “p” at the end of the word.
“And there’s- holy fuck- there’s a chance you could actually get pregnant soon?” Javi asked, his face glowing brighter and brighter with each question he asked.
“Mmmhhmmm. Well, I mean, it might not happen right away but- Ahhhh Javi!” You giggled as your husband aggressively peppered ticklish kisses across your entire face, making you squeal and squirm in delight.
“Fuck, I love you so much. Thank you.” Javi smiled, tears welling in his eyes as he looked down at you.
“Jav, baby, don’t cry! Why are you crying, you dork?”
“You’ve given me everything I’ve ever wanted. You married me, we’re gonna have a family, it’s just- fuck, I promise, that I wanna spend the rest of my life until the day I die showing you how thankful I am that you chose me. That you gave me all the things I stopped thinking I deserved. I love you so much, it fucking hurts, Osita. Thank you for choosing me.”
Sitting up, you threw your arms around Javi, pulling him close to you in the tightest hug you could muster, stroking the hair at the nape of his neck, feeling the weight of his body melt into yours, your bodies intertangled as one.
“Javi, you’re the only one it ever could be. Te amo más de lo que las palabras pueden expresar. (I love you more than words can say).”
“Hey! Lovebirds! Are y’all in here?”
Over the music and chatter of the party outside, you and Javi had been completely oblivious to the all too familiar southern twang of Steve’s voice behind the bedroom door, gently knocking from the outside after being sent on a mission to find where in the world the two of you had been for nearly a half hour.
“Hello? Mr. and Mrs. Peña?” Steve rapped again, getting nothing in response but silence. Steve shrugged, drunk enough to have no fear to pound on the door repeatedly until the two of you showed up, now reaching down at the doorknob and giving it a jiggle.
Steve was shocked to find that he could turn the handle, writing off the fact that they two of you would be in a room with an unlocked door after the 10 pounds of shit he had given Javi, and with his inhibitions severely lowered, he had no problem cranking the knob and pushing the bedroom door wide open.
“Hello? Earth to Javi and Mrs. Peña, are y’all in here or not because I- Oh Jesus Christ!” Steve shrieked, opening up the door to see you and Javi, your dress still hoisted up to your waist, and Javi’s bare ass completely on display, making the both of you scream just as loud in surprise at your unwanted visitor.
“Murphy! Get the fuck out!” Javi snarled, quickly scrambling to try and pull your dress back down and his pants back up.
“Jesus Fuckin’ Christ!” Steve yelled, immediately bringing his hand to his face to cover up his eyes, trying to drunkenly stumble as quickly as he could back out of the room, but, because of his intoxicated state and self-imposed lack of vision, Steve found himself colliding head first with the wall, knocking himself to the ground before crawling across the floor like a frazzled toddler, kicking the door closed behind him.
For as devastatingly embarrassed as you were by the whole debacle, you couldn’t help but cackle at the impeccable comedic timing of the whole thing, snickering to yourself as Javi finished buckling back up his pants and helping you up to stand before storming to the door, opening it to find Steve still sprawled on the floor in an a hysteric fit.
“Are you fucking serious, Murph?” Javi growled, completely unamused.
“God, I shoulda kept my bit that Connie cut in my speech. Y’all do know that doors have locks, right? Might be helpful if y’all learned how to use ‘em. Just food for thought.” Steve giggled, watching both of your faces grow beet red in embarrassment and at a loss for words.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Javi asked, pinching the arch of his nose between his fingers, shaking his head in frustration, looking down the hallway to make sure that Steve was the only presence you needed to worry about.
“I’m tryin’ to save your asses before someone else worse than me walks in on the two of you gettin’ it on. Y’all do realize you’ve been gone for almost 45 minutes right? Being the- oh shit-” Steve paused, letting out a giant burp,” ‘cuse me, being the good Best Man I am, I decided to try and find you two idiots before people started askin’ too many questions. So, you’re welcome.” Steve grunted, pushing himself up to stand, cocking his head at the both of, hands on his hips, trying to prove his point. “Also, do you two anything else besides fuc-”
“Steve! Jesus Christ, will you shut the fuck up!” Javi groaned, staring down at the floor, taking a deep breath to compose himself before he decided to kick Steve right back down to the ground again.
“...It’s really been 45 minutes?” You grimaced, looking back between Steve and Javi, shrugging at your husband that any longer, your mom would have been on a search party for you, and it would have been your whole family at Javi’s bedroom door instead of just Steve.
“Yeah, and I’m the first to come lookin’ after ya, so again, you’re welcome. Jesus, Javi, you can really last for 45 fuckin minutes? How the-”
“Murphy!”
“Sorry…”
“Fuck me….”
“Think you and your wife already took care of that one…” Steve muttered under his breath, trying not to laugh.
“I swear to God, Steve…”
“Okay, I’m done! I’m done! Swear!” Steve held up his hands in defense, taking a step back away from Javi.
“Will you please just give us a minute, Murph?” Javi sighed, running his hand through his hair, trying with every bone in his body to keep his patience with his drunken friend.
“Fine, fine, fine. 1 minute. I’m counting. Use your time wisely and appropriately, you sickos.” Steve snickered, disappearing down the hallway, only to peek his head back out around the corner. “And Jav?”
“What, Murph?”
“Your fly’s undone.”
As you and Javi sheepishly made your way back out to the backyard, you couldn't have been more relieved to see that at this point, anyone still left at your reception was far too drunk to care that you had been missing, seeing that almost all of your guests were out on the dance floor, partying away without a care in the world, or any inkling of what you and Javi had been up to.
“Longer than a minute, but beggars can’t be choosers I guess.” Steve chuckled, creeping up behind you with two drinks in hand, passing them both off to you and Javi. “Here. Figured I owe ya a drink. These are on me.”
“We paid for the bar, Murph.”
“Alright, well I guess these ones are on you, Grumpy Pants.” Steve grumbled mockingly, holding up his hands in defense, trying not to stumble over his own two feet as he made his way back to the dance floor.
“Remind me again why I picked him to be my best man?” Javi laughed, taking a sip of his drink, the both of you snickering as you watched Steve whip out some questionable dance moves to “Don’t Stop Me Now” by Queen blaring in the background and Connie shake her head at her husband.
“Because you love him. Don’t get me wrong, he’s an idiot, but he’s a good guy.” You smiled, giving Javi a little nudge, resting your head on his shoulder as you looked out at the dance floor. “Hey-” You paused, holding up your glass and raising it to Javi’s. “Cheers.”
“Cheers to what, Osita?” Javi asked, wrapping his arm around you, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead as he brought his glass next to yours.
“Cheers to us. I love you so much, Javier Peña, it makes me sick. Sicker than all this tequila is gonna make me tomorrow after I keep drinking it the rest of the night.”
The two of you snorted, goofily clinking your glasses and taking a hefty sip of your drinks as you looked out on the dance floor, your hearts overflowing with love and joy to know that you were surrounded by all of the people in the world you cared about most, even the ones that couldn’t be physically with you, to celebrate the biggest day of your life and the start of your new forever.
“Cheers, Hermosa. I love you so goddamn much. Maybe the hangover will help distract the nerves on the flight tomorrow.” Javi smirked, taking another sip of his drink as he shook you playfully in his grasp, your faces both lighting up as you remembered that tomorrow, you be in the Bahamas for the next 10 days, where the only thing you needed to worry about was where you wanted to lay on the beach, what drink you wanted in your hand, and now, seeing how quickly Javi could get you pregnant.
“Oh shut up.” You sighed, giving Javi a little slap to the chest before taking another sip of your drink, looking up at Javi with heavy lashes, batting your eyes at him. “You just have to remind me that I have to do some unpacking before we leave tomorrow.”
“Unpacking?” Javi asked, tilting his head in confusion at you, the gears in his brain turning as you bit down on your lip, raising your eyebrow at him, waiting for him to piece together your clue. “Oh. Oh.”
Javi’s eyes went wide as he remembered what you meant, heart racing in anticipation, never imagining before today that he would have been so excited to actively throw away birth control to try and have a kid.
“Can we throw it away tonight?” Javi pleaded, his puppy dog eyes in full effect.
“I’m not sure what difference tonight and tomorrow morning is gonna make, but sure. Happy wedding present.” You giggled, pressing up onto your tiptoes to plant a long, hot kiss.
“Best fucking gift I could ask for besides the fact I finally get to call you my wife.”
As the end of the song slowly faded out, “Everybody (Backstreet’s Back)” began to play next in the background, your face lighting up in excitement and Javi’s eyes rolling, hearing the song that had been most likely the biggest controversy of your entire wedding planning process now bumping through the speakers, followed by the cheers and hollers of your guests.
“I told you people would want to hear this song.” You said smugly, crossing your arms over your chest, popping your hip at Javi as you sassed him, making him shake his head at your theatrics.
“It doesn’t stop it from being a stupidly annoying song.”
“A stupidly annoying song that people love. A stupidly annoying song that your wife loves.” You teased. “Whaddya say, Peña, can you stand this unbearably stupid song to go dance with me?
“I’d dance to this song with you a million times if it means I get to dance with you.”
Grabbing Javi by the hand, you tugged him out to the dance floor in a fit of giggles and smiles, jumping along and dancing to the beat song after song the rest of the night with your friends, family and husband.
You couldn't help but catch yourself stopping now and again to smile to yourself to take everything in, feeling like you needed to pinch yourself to make sure this was all really real. Just over a year ago, your life felt like it had hit an all time low. You had moved halfway across the country to try and run from your pain, desperate to find any way to bring yourself any ounce of peace in your ocean of hurt. It felt like fate had forsaken you for the worst, kicking you while you were down, and leaving destruction in its wake.
But never in a million years would you have believed that fate would have sent you with a one way ticket to Laredo, Texas, and that trip would bring so much more than just the glimmer of hope you longed for. It had brought you peace, comfort, the acceptance you weren’t sure you would have ever allowed yourself to feel. Laredo had brought you everything you never expected, and all of the things you never thought you deserved.
It brought you Javi- the man who single handedly changed your life for the better, loving you unconditionally for every part of your being and piecing back together the parts of your heart you had left broken.
It brought you the man you now got to call your husband.
Fate and life have funny ways of working together to bring you the things you need the most when you least expect them. And today, as you got to marry the love of your life and your very best friend, you knew you’d be forever thankful that fate stepped in when you needed it most.
La vida es graciosa, no lo crees? (Life is funny, isn’t it?)
@chaotic-iguana @rhoorl @whyjuliaaa @bbiophiliaa @pertinentpostmortem @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @pedrobaby @fatima-marisa @beboldbebravethings @poodlebae @kittenlittle24 @3sriracha @jungchloee @perennialdoll247 @prettyinpunk85 @partyofone3413 @harriedandharassed @pedrohoe04 @theorganasolo @endlessthxxghts @beware-my-thorns @missladym1981 @messinadresa @milly-louise @jay-zzle @the-one-with-the-grey-color @persephone-girl @bitchesuntitled @pedropascallvr @millennial-teenybopper @nastiasnow @vee-bees-blog @hopplessilse @mxtokko @its-nebuleuse @mandoisapunk @msmorningstaarr @amyispxnk @honeyedmiller @mountainsandmayhem @picketniffler @burningnerdchild @copperhalfcent @theoraekenslover @bloodyinspirationaldemon @vee-bees-blog @amyispxnk @samgirl4life @pigeonmama @pedr0swh0r3 @survivingandenduring
#pedro pascal#pedro pascal character fanfic#pedro pascal fanfiction#narcos fanfiction#pedro pascal character#javi peña x reader#javi pena#javier pena#javier pena fanfiction#javier pena fic#javier pena fluff#javier pena imagine#javier pena narcos#javier pena x f!reader#javier pena smut#javier pena x female reader#javier pena x reader#javier pena x you#javier peña#javier peña fanfiction#javier peña smut#javier peña x f!reader#javier peña x female reader#javier peña x reader#javier peña x you#joel miller#pedro pascal characters#jose pedro balmaceda pascal#pedrohub#pedrito
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Could I make a request please?
Either a Joel or Pedro x Reader, where he is head over heels for the reader who is really bubbly and sweet and happy and a mom friend for everyone but who is oblivious to any romantic overtures whatsoever? And where Joel or Pedro catch them crying for the first time ever and they try and hide it and go back to cooking for the friend group or whatever and Joel/Pedro get the reader to open up about what made them cry and essentially it's that someone turned them down on a dating app and it's just further confirmation that the reader will never find love or actually be a mom? Plus-sized reader preferred but definitely not required? And your choice on if it's smutty or not.
I've been reading your plus sized reader x Pedro series and loving it!!! So much emotion and genuine positivity that I couldn't help but ask for more when I felt a bit down about this today.
All my best!
Dear @jenniferpendragon,
Hi!!! I've never had a request before, I didn't know what to do with myself. Thank you. And thank you so much for your kind words about my musician fic! I'm so glad people like it.
I'm sorry you were feeling down today. If by "this" you mean you experienced the dating app situation, I'm so sorry. Love is out there for you. I know how hard it is to wait, feeling like nobody wants you, but I know it'll happen. Hang in there. ❤️
I hope you like this fic! I liked your prompt and my mind ran wild. It's way longer than I thought it would be and also I'm unsure about it, but hopefully it makes you feel a little better.
___________
Cookies 'n Scream
Pairing: No-Outbreak!Joel Miller x Plus-sized!Reader
Word count: 4.3k
Warnings: 18+ ONLY!! MDNI. Poor body image, fat shaming, food guilt, food mentions, unprotected P in V, oral, kissing, fingering, pregnancy mention, baby making sex (?), I think that's all of it but if I missed something let me know.
Other stuff: Reader is AFAB. In case it isn't clear, italics almost always are the reader's inner thoughts!
This is the first smut I've ever written and published, yikes. Hope it's decent.
__________
"Look what I bought today," you chimed in a sing-song voice while waving the DVD in front of Joel.
"No way. Zombie Slayer 6?!" Joel and Tommy yelled in unison.
"Yep! You know it!" you beamed. "I say tonight we pop this bad boy in. Tomorrow's Halloween, it's perfect."
"YES!" chimed in Sarah and Ellie, Joel's daughter and adopted daughter, roughly the same ages in their early teens.
"Absolutely not! You two are too young for this gore, you'll be up for weeks." Maria pointedly gave an eyebrow to her husband Tommy. "You guys watch the movie, I'll take the kids and we have a girl's night. We can watch Practical Magic and make cookies. Then tomorrow we'll all go trick-or-treating." The girls were pleased with this compromise and began running up to their bedrooms, chatting frantically about their costumes and which houses were allegedly going to have full-size candy bars this year.
"Really? Zombie movies? They're just kids. They aren't old enough to deal with that kind of thing," Maria said to you, judging your lack of parenting skills.
"Sorry…" you said sheepishly.
Truthfully, Halloween was your favorite holiday and always has been. You loved the spooky aspect of it, but you also loved that you could be anyone you wanted, if only for a night. For once you weren't just "the fat girl" or whatever other mean things people thought about you. You could be Wonder-Woman, or Ariel, the Grim Reaper, or a ghost. You could even eat all the sugary snacks you wanted and nobody questioned it, because Halloween was a time to indulge in candy.
If there's one thing you're sad you didn't get to enjoy on Halloween, it was the thought of being with someone you love. You'd always wanted someone to dress up in a couples costume together. Or go to a pumpkin patch for a cute little date and pick pumpkins together. You'd even dreamed about someday having a little pumpkin of your own. Picking out a little baby costume, taking them out door to door while they tried to say "trick or treat" but didn't quite know how to say such big words yet. The thought of them getting spooked by a scary decoration and running back to their daddy's arms. Your handsome brave husband, holding them close and shushing them, rubbing their little back to make it all okay. Finally the three of you would go home, tuck the little one in, sort through the candy and maybe take some for the parent tax. Then you'd flop down on the bed together before sharing a different kind of treat.
Knocking you out of your daydream, the girls ran down the stairs, backpacks on their backs, still loudly chatting about Halloween. You sighed, Maria taking the kids out towards her house.
Tommy clapped his hands together excitedly and grabbed his phone and keys. "I'm picking us up a pizza. You two better not start this damn movie without me," he warned, gesturing with his fingers from his eyes to yours and then across to his brother's before ducking out the door. You laughed and headed towards the kitchen, starting to make a quick batch of cookies before Tommy returned. Joel stood awkwardly trying to help, but mainly was just sneaking bites of dough. "Knock it off Joel! There won't be any cookies left with you around." You elbowed him while he popped another glob into his mouth with a laugh.
You rolled your eyes while he argued with you. "Whatever. My brother doesn't need these cookies anyway. He doesn't deserve your bakin', darlin'." He ate more dough.
You couldn't help but feel your chest flutter with butterflies at his nickname, but you tried to ignore them. "Oh yeah, and what about me?" You pouted up at him. "Don't I deserve any cookies?"
He put his finger on his lip as if deep in thought. "Hmmm… I dunno darlin'. Not sure if I could handle you if you get much sweeter." He winked.
"But I guess you deserve some too.." he plopped a wad of dough into your mouth, running his finger on your lip as he pulled his hand away.
You smiled, cheeks feeling warm, and chewing the soft, sugary dough.
"Oh, Joel. You're too much.." you avoided his eyes, looking down at the mixer and pretending to be busy with the cookies.
Why can't I get a man like Joel? You thought to yourself.
Two years ago, you had moved into your new house and met your neighbors, Tommy and Maria, Maria still very pregnant at the time. The three of you became fast friends and it wasn't long before you met Tommy's brother Joel. You were instantly enamored with him. His curly brown hair, mixed with silvery gray streaks, and those deep, gorgeous chocolate brown eyes. Although he could be a grump at times, it was mainly with his brother or his job, and he never showed it towards you. To you he was as sweet as the cookies you were eating.
You instantly developed a little crush on him and it seemed like he was over at his brother's house, or yours, more often than not. The two of you spent time together alone as well, watching movies, talking, doing whatever. Things felt so simple with him, and you knew he would always be there if you needed help with anything. With him, you never felt fat. You never felt ugly. You didn't feel self-conscious. You were just you. He was just him.
As your friendship progressed, your crush developed quickly into love. But you knew deep down there was no way he could ever feel the same. He was too handsome and charming to ever go for a woman like you, so you pushed down your feelings as best as you could, and even tried some dating apps to try and find someone else to fill the empty space in your heart.
What you didn't know was that Joel was absolutely head-over-heels, smitten with you, from the moment he laid eyes on you at his brother's backyard barbecue. Sure he loved his brother, but nobody wants to spend that much time at their sibling's house. He came over constantly, hoping to see you, until eventually you became close enough that he didn't have to make a scene at his brother's house to get your attention. He could just go to yours.
Tommy constantly teased him about it, and Maria couldn't help but notice the way you looked at Joel either. Even the kids could tell. The girls loved you like a mother, though you'd never see it. It seemed that it was obvious to everyone but you and him. Joel would flirt, try to gently touch you, be sweet, but you never picked up on it. Although you never pushed away his attempts, you never seemed to reciprocate either, so Joel just figured you didn't like him that way. But he couldn't help flirting, touching, staring at you. And if you didn't protest, he didn't plan to stop. He couldn't if he tried.
While the two of you talked, the cookies, what was left of them, baked in the oven. Finally Tommy came in, two large pizzas in hand. "Now I better not see that movie playing! I warned you two."
He noticed the black television screen and wandered to the kitchen. "Good. You waited for me- oh man! You made cookies? My favorite," he said with grabby hands towards the first pan, still cooling on the stove.
"Now, don't spoil your dinner. You just brought pizza home, let's eat." You shot a knowing look with Joel after the two of you were practically full already with cookie dough.
"Fine. Whatever, mom." Tommy took a plate from you, sliding a piece of pizza onto his plate and heading towards the couch.
_____
An hour into the movie, you were all full with pizza and dessert, Tommy in the sofa chair on the side, you and Joel settled into the love seat. You leaned towards his right side, his right arm over the back of your seat. A blanket covered the two of you, and his left hand was crossed over his lap on top of the blanket, hoping you would hold it if you got scared. Whenever a jump scare did happen, you didn't grab for him, but at the slightest flinch, he would palm your knee, rubbing his thumb over you to calm you down. Such a nice guy. I'm so lucky to have him as my friend.
Once when Joel did this, Tommy caught the sight out of the corner of his vision. He rolled his eyes and gave a gagging face. Joel gave him a quick angry brother stare that made Tommy turn back toward the film.
At some point, you felt your pocket buzz. Peering under the blanket at your screen, you saw the little heart notification, letting you know it was one of the dating apps you downloaded. Heart beating faster, you excused yourself saying you wanted to get a drink. Upon entering the kitchen, you quickly opened the notification with shaky hands. You had sent out at least a half dozen matches to people, all turned down the second they saw your profile. The most recent had sent a message as well. "Seriously? Ur gross. Good luck finding anyone to date you lmao." Tears welled up in your eyes as you looked down at your body and pinched the fat of your stomach. You had four apps and had sent countless requests, matches, and swipes. Even guys who were big themselves had turned you down. You looked in the kitchen at the pile of cookies, the mostly empty pizza boxes, the bowl of Halloween candy. If the boys weren't here, you'd toss it all in the trash. You suddenly felt self-conscious. Your clothes were tight, your body was heavy and flabby, and you almost felt nauseous. The first sting of tears welled at your eyes, and you dashed off to your bedroom, hoping to quell these emotions before anyone would notice. You weren't ready to go back to the living room.
After a couple minutes, Joel had paused the TV to wait for your return. "She probably had to pee or something. Said she was gettin' a drink." Tommy nodded and the two of them talked. After about ten minutes had passed, Joel began to worry. Even Tommy began to wonder and finally said "where'd your girlfriend end up? It's been a while."
Joel shook his head at Tommy's name for you, but got up off the couch. "I'll go see what's up." He walked into the kitchen and didn't see you, so he kept walking through the house before finally starting upstairs. "Darlin'? You okay?" He still didn't see you, but upon approaching your bedroom door, he heard a soft sniffle.
He gently tapped on the door with his index finger's knuckle. "Sweetheart?" Your sniffling stopped and you quickly wiped your eyes, trying to hide your tears as he slowly opened the door.
"Hey, sorry, I didn't mean to make you guys wait, I was just changing into some comfier clothes." He noticed you had switched from your favorite dress to some sweats and a baggy hoodie. You still looked beautiful to him, though he was a bit confused at the change. "I'll be right down, why don't you go start the movie again." He crossed the room to sit next to you on the bed. "I'm not going to start the movie. What's wrong, darlin'?"
You pouted, trying to choke back more tears, but his gentle brown eyes made it hard to keep your emotions inside. Joel cupped your cheek, running his thumb gently under your eyes and catching a tear that made it past your walls. You'd never cried in front of Joel before. You made it a goal of yours to try and hide any sad emotions from people, especially him.
"I don't want to ruin the night, Joel. It's nothing. Let's just go back downstairs. I'll be right behind you."
Joel stood up and nodded his head, walking out the door and closing it gently behind him.
You didn't think he'd actually leave. But it shouldn't surprise you. Who wouldn't leave you?
An aggressive sob ripped through your chest.
_____
Joel walked downstairs, joining his brother.
"You find her?" Tommy asked.
"Yeah I did. Look, she's not feeling too good right now. I think it's best we call it a night."
"Ah, man. She sick or somethin'?" Tommy asked.
"Yeah somethin' like that. I'll stay and take care of her. Can you maybe keep the kids tonight?" Joel answered, ushering Tommy out the door. Tommy gave him a look, but nodded and walked out the door towards his own house.
Joel closed the door behind him and walked back upstairs, stopping to grab a glass of water for you on the way. He knocked gently again before entering your bedroom, and you turned around, surprised to see him. "Joel? I thought you were watching the movie?"
"Nah, darlin' I could never leave you when you're upset. I sent Tommy home and he's gonna watch the girls tonight. Here, I brought you some water." He sat the water on the nightstand. "Now, you wanna tell me why you're cryin'?" He sat next to you, rubbing your back gently.
You took a sip of the water, set it back down on the nightstand, and sighed, looking down at your hands in your lap which held your cell phone.
"Well, I uh…" you cleared your throat gently. "I recently joined some dating apps..."
Joel's heart took a slight stab, but he pushed it down. You're the one needing comfort, not him.
"I guess, I dunno… I know it's kinda silly, but I've been feeling kinda lonely and y'know... I'm getting older. I'm running out of time to have babies. But, I really just want someone to call mine. Someone to laugh with and go on dates with and…" you tapered off, not wanting to admit your desire for cuddles, kisses, and love-making.
"Oh, sweet girl," he held you in his arms. "That's nothing to feel shy or silly about. It's natural to want those things. But why are you cryin'? Did somethin' happen?"
"I just… I haven't gotten any matches. Everyone I've sent anything to has denied me, and-" you sniffled and Joel pulled you tighter. "Shh, shh, sweet girl, it's okay. Those people on those apps, they don't know what they're missin' out on. They don't see how beautiful and sweet y'are. They wouldn't know how to treat you right anyway. If they can't see how wonderful you are, they don't deserve to be with ya anyway."
"Thank you Joel…" you muttered. "But… it's not just that. I got a message when we were watching the movie and I went into the kitchen to read it, and-" you handed him your phone with a sniffle. Joel pulled away from you, holding the phone back a bit to read it with his bad vision. As he read it, his jaw and fists clenched. It may have been the first time Joel saw you cry, but it was also the first time Joel got angry when it was just the two of you.
"If I knew where this asshole little boy lived, I'd go over there right now and kick his ass for saying something like that to you" he seethed. "I can't believe anyone would say something like that to you."
You picked at a hangnail on your finger, still staring at your lap. Finally Joel took a breath and looked at you again. "Darlin'. You don't - you don't believe that guy do you?" He asked while rubbing your back again.
"Maybe…" you felt tears run down your cheeks. "I mean, he's right, isn't he? I'm not attractive or skinny. Nobody wants me, not even any of these guys on this app. Even the guys who aren't skinny don't want me either."
"Sweetheart. That's just not true. Look at me-" he lifted your chin with his left hand, right arm still holding you close. You hesitantly met his gaze, your wet eyes looking into his gentle browns. "Those men, if you even wanna call them that, they wouldn't know what beautiful was if it slapped them across the face. You're the most beautiful, sweet, funny woman I've ever met. Any man would be lucky to have you." He took a deep breath before admitting, "I'd be lucky to have you."
"What-?" You interrupted him.
"Darlin'... I never want to push your boundaries, but you don't see how often I flirt with you, tease you, and touch you? You don't see how smitten I am with you?" You frowned, brows furrowing as you picked through your memory. "I thought you were just a nice guy. Just a friend. I didn't… I didn't think you could ever like me as more than a friend, so I just ignored the butterflies I got around you."
You searched his eyes, waiting for a joke, or your alarm to go off and wake you up from this dream.
"Sweetheart, I've been in love with you since just about the time I saw you walk across my brother's lawn towards me. I just figured y'wasn't interested in me that way."
"Joel," you laughed. "I've felt the same way."
He smiled, once again tilting your chin, yet this time pressing his lips to yours. The kiss was gentle, but held so much love and meaning, that the two of you couldn't help but smile in the middle of it. He pulled away, "and by the way, y'aren't old either. If anyone's old here, it's me. But if you want babies, I'll give you all the babies you want. But you already got two girls who love you. Sometimes I think they even love y'more than me," he laughed.
You smiled at him and nodded "I do love those girls like they're my own. But I would still like a little baby someday too."
He kissed you again, more passionately this time, licking your lip until you opened up and let your tongues dance together. He pulled away, running his nose across your jaw before stopping at your ear. "Only one way to give you that, darlin'." He gently bit your earlobe before kissing down your neck.
You sighed. "Joel… please."
"Please, what darlin'?" He purred, kissing your clavicle through your baggy shirt.
"Please, make love to me" you answered breathlessly, tipping your head back so he could better access your neck.
"Take these baggy clothes off then, baby. Lemme see you," he gave you one last kiss on the lips before the two of you began undressing, stopping every few seconds to share grabby kisses. Once undressed, he pulled you into him and kissed you deeply, your hands on his chest. With a swift move, he tumbled the two of you sideways so that you were now on the bed, him on his back and you straddling his hips. You leaned down, kissing his lips, while the slight movement against his waist caused you both to moan at the feeling. "Baby I've wanted this for so long. Let me take care of you," Joel whispered, thumb stroking your cheek. He flipped the two of you over, slithering down towards your waist, where you spread your legs for him. He groaned, looking at how evident it was you wanted him, pumping his already hard cock a few times. Flattening himself on his stomach, he gently touched your thighs and began to kiss your legs. "Y'sure you still want this, baby?"
"Yes Joel, please" you answered, tense with anticipation. Without a beat, he tipped his head down, licking a stripe up your slit. You let out a sigh, hips bucking toward his face. "I know baby, I know." His low timbre vibrated through your core. He gave a quick peck to your clit before swirling his tongue around it and heading downwards, licking between your folds while his nose continued to put pressure on your clit.
His fingers slid through, touching your entrance in a questioning way. "Yes, Joel, please" you cried, wiggling closer, your hands tugging at his hair.
With your pleas, he inserted his finger, curling upwards before adding a second and finally hitting that spot inside you that made your breathing catch in your chest. He stroked, while still licking gently, occasionally sucking on your clit. Before long you were gripping the sheets with one hand, his hair in your other, as you finally tumbled into your orgasm. "So beautiful, baby" he coaxed, licking you through the waves of pleasure.
"Think you're ready for me?" He looked up at you over your plush tummy. "Yes, Joel, please I'm so ready."
He stalked over your body, kissing his way up. He kissed your vulva, "I love this," he purred. He kissed your stomach, running his hands across your sides. "I love this," he licked. "I love these," he massaged your breasts, kissing each nipple. "I love you" he finally looked you in the eyes, kissing you on the lips deeply.
"I love you too." You kissed him back, running your hands through his messy hair, down his broad shoulders and back. His hand snaked around, grabbing his cock and giving a few strokes through your folds until he was wet enough. Finally he pushed against your entrance, slowly entering you, giving you enough time to adjust to his size. Your fingers clawed at his back as he finally pushed all the way in, the two of you sighing in relief.
Your body adjusted, and with a kiss to his nose, you prompted him to move. "Okay Joel, I'm ready."
Slowly, he began to thrust, pulling slowly out and gently pushing back in, eventually picking up to a pleasurable pace. He kissed you like his lips couldn't be away for longer than a few seconds, and it didn't take much before you were barreling towards your second release of the evening. "I'm almost there, Joel" you kissed, grabbing him around his back. "Me too, baby. Come for me." His thrusts were getting sloppy, but you could tell he was holding himself back for you. His fingers drifted over your clit, giving a few circular strokes and causing you to shudder around him, your eyes slamming shut with a moan. He followed right behind you, a couple messy strokes before pumping into you, filling you up and working you both through it. As the two of you came down from your high, he kissed you passionately, holding you like you were the only thing in the world.
The two of you lay on your sides, you snuggled into his chest, his chin resting on your head before eventually he became soft and slipped out of you. You both sighed at the loss, but held each other until you rolled out to use the restroom and clean up. When you returned from the bathroom, you asked if he wanted to stay and he said yes.
You lent him an extra toothbrush and the two of you stood side by side, brushing your teeth and stealing glances at each other in the mirror with matching lovesick smiles. Things felt domestic and comfortable as the two of you walked back to bed, sharing soft kisses snuggled to each other. Having completely forgotten why you were upset earlier, you fell asleep curled into his arms, full of love and hope for the future with a man you loved.
_____
The next morning, you woke up to the smell of coffee brewing and breakfast cooking. You strolled down the stairs and saw Joel, wearing just his boxers and tee shirt, grabbing a slice of toast from the toaster.
At the sound of your steps, he turned and smiled softly. "Morning, baby."
"Good morning, handsome," you replied, pressing a kiss to his lips.
"I could get used to that," Joel replied, squeezing your ass and pulling his face away to look in your eyes.
"Joel! You devil," you giggled, gently smacking his arm. "You ain't seen nothing yet, baby" he nibbled your jaw.
After the two of you ate breakfast, you shared a shower, and he threw on a pair of extra clothes he keeps in his car. It would be hard to keep his visit a secret from his brother with his car still in your driveway, but as far as Tommy was concerned, you were sick and Joel was taking care of you.
The two of you made the walk over to Tommy's house to get the girls and participate in Halloween activities for the day. Walking in the door, Tommy pulled you into a hug. "Hey, we were worried about you! Are you feeling better? Were you sick?"
You looked up at Joel, sharing a knowing look. "I was just a little upset about something, but I'm feeling much better now," you smiled.
Tommy gasped. "FINALLY!!!!" He threw his hands in the air while Maria grinned.
"Cough it up Tommy!" Sarah held out her hand to her uncle. "You know I had October." He handed her a five dollar bill.
"You bet money on us?" Joel asked in disbelief, rubbing your back.
"Obviously. You guys have both been pining since you first met," Ellie answered, rolling her eyes. "It was too entertaining for us to interfere though," Sarah added with a smirk.
You stared down at your shoes, feeling embarrassed, but Joel grabbed your hand. You smiled up at him and it felt like everything was aligned. "Yep, we finally took the step. And now I get to do this whenever I want," Joel pulled you into his arms for a deep kiss.
"UGH. GROSS, DAD." Ellie and Sarah groaned, walking out of the room.
You both laughed, sharing a smile and heading towards the group to get ready for Halloween with your family.
#pedro pascal#pedro pascal fanfic#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro pascal fluff#pedro pascal x you#pedro pascal smut#a! wrote a fic#pedro pascal fic#pedro pascal x afab!reader#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal x plus sized! reader#pedro pascal x y/n#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller#joel miller fanfic#joel miller smut#joel miller x you#joel miller fic#joel miller x female reader#joel miller x plus size reader#the last of us
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For You, the World
Request: "You and your bias run into your ex." This with Bang Chan please? 🥺🥺
Prompts:
15) You and your bias run into your ex.
Pairing: Stray Kids Bang Chan x Reader
Genre: Angst/Fluff
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"Baby," Chan hummed, resting his palm on your hip. "Quit fidgeting."
"I can't help it," you grumbled. "I don't want to be here."
"That's not what you said when you bought the tickets," he smiled, pressing his forehead lightly against your temple.
You took a deep breath and allowed his presence to calm you. "I know. When I got the tickets, my intent was to make my enemies rue the day they ever underestimated me."
Chan let out a full laugh as he pulled away from you again. "I thought you said that you wanted to look hot and successful in front of your high school bullies?"
You rolled your eyes. "Same difference."
He was right. You had been excited to buy the tickets to your high school's alumni event. The opportunity to flaunt how well your life was going was too tempting to pass up. Now that you were here though, you just felt queasy and defeated. What if the same people who had made you feel so small were in the position to do so again?
You wouldn't give them that power. You couldn't.
Making your way up toward the fold-out table where you would exchange your tickets for name tags, you shuddered. The previous class president and head cheerleader sat side by side.
Sensing your unease, Chan's hand immediately found yours and gave a tight squeeze.
"Name?"
"Y/N," you croaked, looking anywhere but at the two people sat in front of you.
"Y/N..." the cheerleader cooed, sliding her finger down the iPad in front of her. "Oh my gosh, Y/N!"
Looking down in surprise, you immediately clocked the malicious joy in her smile. "Yeah, hi."
"You look soooo different!" she purred, making a show of looking you up and down. "And look at that, you lost some of that baby fat! Well, I guess it wasn't really baby fat if you still had it at graduation..."
"You lost weight too," you muttered, lifting a brow. "About 160 lbs worth I believe?"
"What?" she gasped, her hand fanning across her collar bone.
"I believe his name was Steve," Chan piped in with a flawless smile.
You looked over with wide eyes.
"I have Instagram, I know things," Chan said so only you could hear.
"Stevie and I are still close," the cheerleader insisted. "We just couldn't make long distance work."
"It was probably hard to make your sidepiece work in the relationship too," you sighed. "Tough break."
She spluttered, looking from you to Chan. "I don't know what you mean."
"Sure, you don't," you nodded. "Can we get our name tags please?"
Glaring, your old classmate thrust a sticker in your direction. "One for you-"
Turning to Chan, she narrowed her eyes, giving her best attempt at being sultry. "And one for...Chris?"
"Thanks," Chan deadpanned, taking the sticker from her extended hand.
"I don't remember you in our class," she said breathily. You could only roll your eyes. She sounded ridiculous.
"I wasn't," Chan said simply, tugging you along.
You couldn't help the zap of victory as you began to walk away. Not only had you owned that entire exchange, but you had your amazing boyfriend by your side, assisting in the shutdown. That couldn't have turned out any better.
"Thank you for coming with me," you said quietly, allowing him to escort you to an open area where old classmates had begun mingling.
"You don't have to thank me," Chan said happily. "I've got you."
Smiling weakly, you prepared yourself for whatever else was to come. Logically, you knew the evening wouldn't be that bad. After all, you did actually have some friends when you were in school. Just because you imagined yourself to be a social pariah at the time didn't mean that was the actual truth.
Settling in at a table toward the back of the room, you were content with people watching for a while. You felt entirely in your element as you gave Chan the backstory of every person that came across your path. Chuckling and gasping at the appropriate times, you knew your gossipy partner was enjoying the evening as much as you were.
"Are you thirsty?" he finally asked after you had finished a particularly long story about the school mascot getting kidnapped by the Latin club.
"If I plan on talking more shit, I could probably use a beverage," you grinned. He smiled in response and nodded. Untwining his fingers from yours, he hopped up from the table and headed in the direction of the bar.
Humming along to the music pumping through the background of the room, you continued to casually watch the people around you. It was surprising to see just how far everyone had come in the few short years since you had all known each other. You had been such a tsunami of emotions as a teen, it was an odd feeling to see these people through a different lens.
While you had mentally prepared to face friends and foes alike, you had not factored in the continued existence of ex boyfriends. Sure, you had social media stalked plenty of people you had dated in the past but having them here in the flesh was another endeavor entirely. It didn't take long for an entire body shiver to overtake you as you locked eyes with someone you would prefer to have never thought about again.
Jun encompassed everything you wanted to forget about high school. If you toted around words like "high school sweethearts" that would have been the apt description for the two of you. While you spent quite a lot of time falling head over heels for him, he had been busy fostering relationships with at least a handful of other people. He made you into a joke and you would never forgive him for that.
But of course, he was making a bee-line in your direction.
"Why is he even here," you muttered. He had supposedly moved to a different country after graduation. With absolutely no social media footprint, you just assumed he wouldn't be easy to contact.
"Y/N," his familiar voice sighed, a few tones deeper than it once was.
"Jun," you acknowledged stiffly.
"Can't I get a hug?" he asked, his arms slightly extended.
For as good looking and smart as he was, he sure couldn't read the room.
"Depends, do you have any communicable diseases I should be made aware of?" you muttered, glaring up at him.
"Come on," he chuckled. "You don't still have hard feelings, do you?"
You blinked in shock. "Hard feelings?"
"We were kids!" he smiled. "Can't we leave the past behind us?"
You opened your mouth to respond, only to close it again.
"I couldn't have been that bad," he prodded, taking a step toward you. You sat in horror as he began to close the space and wrap his arms around your shoulders. Pulling you into a weird, seated hug, he spoke quietly. "I don't remember the specifics of why we broke up, but I do remember how much I cared about you."
Groaning, you pushed at his chest to untangle yourself. "We are not getting into this right now."
Setting a cup down a little too hard on the table, you watched what you assumed to be Coke Zero slosh onto the white tablecloth. "Is he bothering you, Y/N?"
You breathed a sigh of relief at Chan's appearance. He had crept up behind you. Assuming he had heard the bulk of the exchange, he had likely stepped in when he felt it to be the appropriate time.
"No," you ground out. "He was just leaving."
"Jun," your ex said, ignoring your comment and sticking his hand out toward Chan.
Chan grabbed it a little too tightly, causing Jun to wince. "Chris."
"Is this your new guy, Y/N?" June asked, tilting his head. "Thought it would be someone taller."
Chan let out a small scoff of a laugh. "You don't have to be jealous, mate."
"I've gotta have, what, at least 8 inches on you?" he continued, trying to goad Chan.
"I'll give you that. I'm short," Chan sighed, letting his palms rest on your shoulders. "But ugly is kind of a dead end. What do you plan on doing about it?"
"Enough," you groaned, surging to your feet. "Jun, please crawl back into whatever dark hole you have emerged from."
"Aw baby," he grinned. "Don't be like that."
By his simple statement, you were transported back to being a teen, getting gaslit when the word hadn't even been popularized yet.
"I'm not your "baby,"" you choked, frustration dangling you close to tears.
"You didn't say that when we were in the backseat of my Mazda," he continued. "Or did you forget about that? We made so many good memories together, Y/N."
It felt like something foreign had taken over your body as white, hot rage filled your senses. He was not only trying to embarrass you, but make Chan feel uncomfortable as well. How fucking dare he.
Swinging your arm back, you landed a harsh smack across his face.
Turning on your heel, you stomped off in the direction of the exit. At the edge of your hearing, Chan spoke sternly. "Don't you dare even breath in Y/N's direction again. Understood? You'll wish a smack was the least of your worries."
The feeling in your chest didn't let up until you had pushed your way through the door and felt the cold night air hit your burning skin. You didn't realize at what point you had actually began crying, but your cheeks were wet.
"If you want me to go back in there and make him regret ever attending high school with you, tell me now," Chan said, not far behind you.
"Chriiiis," you moaned, turning to face him. "That won't help anything."
"Who says?" he chimed. "You'll feel better, I'll feel better, and he'll feel worse. It's a win-win-win."
You chuckled, wiping at your eyes. "I appreciate the offer, but no."
"Well, just know, it still stands," he sighed. "I wouldn't hesitate to burn down the world if it meant you felt better when I was done."
"Noted and appreciated," you sighed, collapsing into him. "But I think we can keep the matches tucked away for now."
Wrapping his arms around you, Chan rocked you slowly from side to side. "I am so proud of you," he whispered into your hair, tightening his grip around your waist.
"For what?" you sniffed. "I lost my shit."
"There was nothing wrong with your behavior, love," he cooed. "I'm proud of you for being brave in the face of adversity."
"I'd hardly call running into old schoolmates "adversity," Chris," you groaned, tucking your face even further into his chest.
"I would," he said definitively. "And I won't hear any arguments about it."
"Fine," you swallowed, leaning back to look at his face. His eyes were warm as he assessed you. Reaching up, he wiped a wayward tear cascading down your cheek. "Why do all of my emotions have to be directly attached to my tear ducts?"
"Just lucky like that, I guess," he smiled. "How are you feeling?"
"Tired," you croaked. "My social battery is reaching critically low percentages."
"Let's get you a reset then," he nodded. "Couch nest and take out?"
"You know my love language so well," you hummed. "Thanks again for being here tonight."
"For you, the world, Y/N."
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Ending Our Friendship
(Stranger Things AU)
Prom photos are posted at the end of the story!
WARNINGS AND TRIGGERS: 18+ ONLY (ABSOLUTELY NO MINORS) NSFW... Mature sexual content, suggestive situations and discussions, smut, pining, angst, fluff, swearing, smoking, drinking, mentions of drug use.
RELATIONSHIPS: Eddie Munson x Y/n ♡ friends to lovers; Gareth, Jeff, Doug, Dustin, Mike, Steve, Robin, Nancy, Jonathan, Max, Lucas, and El are side characters.
Copying, translating, or posting my work as your own is expressly forbidden. I do not give my permission. Reports with credit to me are encouraged.
°°°°°🤘°°°°°
What can I say about Eddie Munson? Well... he's eccentric, erratic, rambunctious, sarcastic, definitely an attention whore... irritable, obnoxious, unruly... long story short, he's kind of a dick. A menace to society whose name, behavior, interests, and all-around heavy metal image have earned him the reputation of 'Town Freak'. But it's an erroneous label born out of prejudice and arrogance, and one he most certainly doesn't deserve.
I'm not exactly a favorite among my peers either. My thrifty style, music taste, and shy demeanor make me an easy target for the ignorant fucks who dominate the high school hierarchy, and so does my association with The Hellfire Club. And since Eddie's a close friend of mine, I'm empathetic. I don't blame him for his behavior, 'cause I know it's a defense mechanism, a way of taking the torment bestowed upon him by the oppressors of Hawkins and turning it into some whimsical public attraction to hide his internal suffering and keep people on edge.
In any case, Munson's a pest. A huge, irritating, aggravating pest... a giant, perverted, flamboyant...... oh... who the fuck am I kidding? Whatever he is... I want him. I want him like a fat kid wants cake. I want him so goddamn bad that every time I lay eyes on him, hear his melodic, raspy voice, or even catch wind of his name, I feel like I wanna hurl. Fuck butterflies, that sexy son of a bitch makes me feel like I have a full-blown professional wrestling match ensuing in my gut. But could I tell him? Of course not. He doesn't see me as relationship material. I'm just 'one of the guys', permanently embedded in the friend zone, and if he ever found out my true feelings it would have grave repercussions on the whole dynamic of our collective friendships. So, I'm forced to put on a face, pretend that I'm immune to his charm, bottle up my feelings, and let them eat away at my insides.
In the four years I've attended Hawkins High not a day has gone by where Eddie Munson hasn't invaded my every thought, innocent or otherwise. Even when our interactions were non-existent, or nothing more than a hello here and there, I haven't been able to escape that scrumptious motherfucker's temptation no matter how hard I try. Ok... so I don't actually try that hard. Fuck it... I don't try at all... but I pretend to.
Eddie makes it a point to bother anyone he damn well pleases, but I seem to be his favorite prey, and I'll be damned if he doesn't get some sick perverse pleasure from incessantly teasing me. It's normal for he and I to playfully flirt and sexually tease each other. He knows he can get a rise out of me without the added contempt he gets from everyone else, but it's a game to him, just a game, one that I secretly love to play, but recently it's gotten a lot worse, and it was becoming unbearable.
Robin Buckley's the only one who knows my true feelings. She's been my best friend since we met in band freshman year. Being a bit of a loner herself, she and I just clicked. She too can't seem to find the courage to approach her respective love interest (our bandmate, Vickie), but Robin's reasons are more justified. Even still, we both live each day in a loop of self-induced torture. Robin at least gets a weekend reprieve, but not me. Sharing the same friends as Eddie, my torture is continuous, resuming every weekday morning in first-period art class, and today was another typical Friday. At least... that's how it started.
~~~~~
"Alright, guys. Today, I'm gonna meet with you all individually to see how you're doing on your projects for the year-end show. And for those of you who've decided to procrastinate... Mr. Munson, I'm looking at you... I need to ok your idea and make sure you have ample time to complete your work, and that your subject matter is appropriate."
"Aww, come on Mrs. S. You know I always finish my work on time." Eddie flashed the teacher a debonair smile.
"You better... if you finally wanna graduate. But your last project wasn't exactly school-friendly." She smiled back in jest.
I remember that project. The perfect example of Eddie's outlandish shenanigans. He'd drawn a Boris-style rendering of himself all but slaughtering his least favorite jock dipshit. But Mrs. Schwagert's one of the coolest teachers in this school, and unlike most, she's not quick to judge her students, including Eddie. She has a way of connecting with all of us.
Eddie scoffed playfully before spouting off an equally playful retort. "That hurts, Mrs. S. I thought you of all people would understand that I took an avant-garde approach, conceptualizing the fight against tyranny in today's society."
"Well, be that as it may, Mr. Munson, your tactless display of violence toward another student won't be tolerated, so I'd like to meet with you first."
I smiled to myself as Eddie exchanged playful banter with our art teacher, gawking at him like I do most of the day until their meeting was concluded, and like clockwork, he resumed his position right up my ass.
"Hi, there!" He proclaimed in his best baritone imitation of Freddy 'Boom Boom' Washington from 'Welcome Back Kotter'.
I closed my sketch pad and looked up. "Now, the Sweathog part I get, but Washington? I don't see it."
"Ok, how 'bout Barbarino?"
He started shimmying back and forth in proper Barbarino fashion and I burst into laughter.
"Um... the hair, maybe, but you're not exactly a chick magnet. You're more of a mashup between Epstein and Horshack. Quick-witted, but super annoying."
"Fair enough." He plopped into the open seat next to me. "So... does that make you Hotsy Totsy, my little... Bunny?"
Oh yeah... every day Eddie makes it a point to devise a new moniker for me that starts with the next sequential letter of the alphabet. Today we were back to B.
"Not quite. I don't have a kid or moonlight as a stripper." I gave him a cheeky smile.
"You sure about that? You look like you belong on a street corner in that outfit."
I scoffed. "It's not that bad."
I looked down at my clothes. Ok, the v-neck crop top and fish nets, sure, but my skirt covered my waist and it wasn't that short. Suddenly feeling self-conscious I wrapped my sweater around myself, crossing my arms over my chest.
"Whatever you say. I'm certainly not complaining."
He looked me up and down with a Cheshire grin, and I rolled my eyes.
"Don't you have someone else you can pester? I'm busy."
"Doing what? More doodles that you refuse to share with me? What do you draw in there anyway? Is it your secret crush? Ooo! Is it me?"
He could not be more spot on. My sketch pad was filled with doodles of his mouthwatering, metalhead physique, as well as some more risqué renderings that I may or may not imagine him doing to me like... all the time. So of course, I lied.
"You wish, Munson."
"Oh, I do, Bunny. But if it's not me, then who is it? That Ian Astbury guy, or uh... what's his face... that wrestler? The one who looks like a roided up Tom Selek, um..." he snapped his fingers in recognition, "oh, Scott Hall? Wait!... It's Harrington isn't it? I know you two are chummy, and I wouldn't blame you. He's a dreamy hunk of hairy beast, but I'd have no problem being your dirty little sidepiece."
Eddie cocked his head to the side, flashed me a suave smile, and wiggled his eyebrows. He was such a dork, but he was right... about the chummy part anyway. Steve Harrington is my friend, which is a fucking miracle in its own right seeing that before he and Robin started working together, I never got a second glance from the 'King' of Hawkins High, but it turns out he's a gentle soul, and not the egotistical, jock douche we thought he was. But Robin puts it best, our friendship with Steve is platonic with a capital P.
"Hmm, as tempting as that sounds... I think I'll pass."
"Ok, suit yourself. Gareth would kill me if I tried to lay a hand on you anyway. Sisters are off limits."
I wasn't actually Gareth's sister, but I've lived next door to him since we were kids, and our families are super close. I do love that dumbass like a brother, but like most brothers, he's an annoying shit with a big mouth, so he has no idea how I feel about Eddie.
"Speaking of your lovable, surrogate little brother, you comin' to watch us practice tonight?"
"I wouldn't exactly call what you guys do, practice. All you do is fuck around and rip on each other the whole time."
"True, but you keep us in check, so you have to come over."
"Oh, I have to, huh? What if I don't feel like it?"
"Well, then I'll be forced to wait 'til Tuesday to waste my sexual prowess on girls who won't give me the time of day, resulting in me crying myself to sleep, again."
He popped out his bottom lip and gave me puppy dog eyes. Goddammit!
"Uh-huh. And... why do you suppose that is?"
"Well, probably because they don't know how to handle my natural charisma and raw animal magnetism. If they knew what they were missing, they'd be all over me."
"Is that right?" I leaned toward him provocatively, making sure to flaunt my cleavage. "And uh, what exactly are they missing?"
He was visibly frazzled, just how I wanted him. He swallowed hard, trying to make eye contact but unable to peel his gaze from my tits.
"Um... let's just say, that when it comes to the utmost in sexual pleasure... I'm your guy."
"Mmm... that good, are ya?"
"Oh, Bunny. I'm first-rate."
"And you think I... would be able to handle you?"
"Maybe..." He swallowed again. "There's only one way to know for sure."
"Is that so?" I looked him over seductively. "Sounds like that'd be one hell of a time."
"You have no idea."
I nodded slowly and smiled, our faces separated by mere inches.
"I suppose I don't." I stared at his lips, watching him squirm uncomfortably in his chair, and I went in for the kill. "Well, Mr. Fantastic, how could I refuse an offer like that?"
I leaned closer as if going in for a kiss and SMACKED him square in the forehead.
"OW, SHIT! SON OF A..."
I sat back in my chair as he pressed the butt of his hand to his forehead.
"I've gotta hand it to ya, Munson, I didn't think your persistence could be any more annoying, but you proved me wrong."
"Ok, I get it. No sexy time from Bunny. Way to crush my ego."
"I thought you'd be used to it by now. You can keep laying it on as thick as you want. I'm not sleeping with you."
"Y/l/n! I'll meet with you now. Get back to work, Mr. Munson."
"Yes, ma'am!" Eddie gave Mrs. S. a salute.
"Saved by scholastic decree. Catch you on the flip side, Fabio."
I smiled slyly, grabbed my sketchbook, and made my way to Mrs. S's desk as Eddie yelled after me.
"Let me know if you change your mind."
"I won't."
Without turning around I gave him the finger. I caught the faint sound of his chuckle and smiled to myself.
~~~~~
With my Walkman blaring, I navigated my way toward the cafeteria through the crowded hallways of Hawkins High, trying not to get knocked around like a pinball when Robin came running up to me in true motormouth fashion.
"Hey-gotta skip lunch to finish my history assignment-try to find a date for prom-meet up with you later-love you-bye!"
And like that, she disappeared into the sea of students before I could get a word in. This meant I'd have to sit with the Hellfire Club today, so I took a detour and headed to their table.
"What's the haps, nerds? Mind if I sit?"
I got lazy waves from the older boys, but Dustin and Mike immediately perked up and flashed me bashful smiles and enthusiastic waves, which I returned in kind.
"I've got a seat for you right here."
Eddie patted his lap. I smiled seductively, walked toward him, and squatted as if about to sit. The look on his face was priceless, but just before my ass made contact with his lap, I straightened up and crushed his dreams.
"Ooo... fat chance, fucker. Scoot over bro."
I nudged Gareth, plopping down in the seat between him and Eddie.
"Well, played, Bunny."
"Bunny? Are you still playing that stupid letter game?" Gareth asked.
"Unfortunately."
"You know you love it."
I flashed Eddie an unamused smile and started digging into my lunch bag.
"No Buckley today?" Gareth asked receiving a shake of my head as confirmation. "Hey, that girl Becky from band asked me to Prom."
I had a mouth full of food. "Mm, I like her. She's super sweet."
"Prom? You're actually gonna attend that monstrosity?"
"Why wouldn't I? Becky's hot. Just 'cause no one will go with you doesn't mean I have to sit at home with my thumb up my ass."
"Oh, sweet burn."
Mike gave Gareth a high five, and I couldn't hold back a laugh at Eddie's expense.
"Wheeler, it's not wise to upset your Dungeon Master."
Eddie flashed Mike an evil grin and Mike's face fell. He quickly turned his attention back to Gareth.
"El and I are going too. Do you guys wanna ride with us? We're getting a limo."
"Thanks, man, but we're hitching a ride with Buckley, Harrington, and Y/n."
"You're going too?"
Eddie looked at me somewhat perplexed.
"Mm-hm." I continued to eat nonchalantly, watching Eddie laugh in disbelief.
"With who?"
I furrowed my brow. Was that a hint of jealousy in his tone? Nah, couldn't be.
"Myself... and..." I waved my finger in a circle around the table to indicate everyone sitting there.
"You're all going?"
"Yes, killjoy. Nothing is stopping you from coming with us. It's a Masquerade theme this year. It'll be fun."
"Fun?! Bunny, I have no desire to attend the masquerade of forced conformity." He smiled smugly.
"Well, we do. So shut your face."
Still sensing the piercing glare of a pair of deep brown eyes, I lifted my head slowly to see Eddie smiling at me, elbow on the table and chin in hand.
"Yes?" I droned.
"Whatcha listenin' to?"
"Music," I retorted, jerking back when Eddie tried to steal my headphones.
"Why so secretive? Isn't she secretive?" Eddie addressed the younger boys of the group.
"Eddie, she probably just wants to eat her lunch in peace," Dustin answered.
"Pshh, then she's at the wrong table," Mike joked.
I shot them a friendly wink.
"Who's side are you guys on? You gotta crush on her or something? Well, you can both stop kissing her ass 'cause she's too old for you."
"I don't. I have the sweetest girlfriend in the world, and she's a genius."
"She's not very smart if she's dating you."
"Shut up, Jeff." Dustin threw a carrot at Jeff and Eddie chucked a pretzel at Dustin and Mike.
"Jesus, you guys are such dicks. Stop tormenting them. Dusty, is Susie coming?"
"I wish. Her dad'll never let that happen. I'm goin' stag... again."
"Don't worry, I'll save you a dance." He smiled bashfully.
"Jesus, this is torment. I'm surprised you're not going with Harrington." Eddie addressed me before turning to Dustin. "You know she draws erotic pictures of him in her sketchbook, right?"
"What?!" The whole table exclaimed.
"I do not." I shoved the side of Eddie's head.
"Do you really?"
"Of course not, Dusty. Eddie just refuses to let go of his nonconformist pride and have a little fun, so he's taking his frustration out on me. You know Steve and I are JUST FRIENDS!" I emphasized, staring daggers at Eddie before turning back to my food.
"Then show me the sketchbook."
"Fuck off, Munson... hey, what the..." Before I could react Eddie swiped my headphones and put them on. "Give 'em back, asshole!"
"Goddamn! This is some heavy shit. What is this?"
"It's your face meeting my fist if you don't give 'em back."
He held me at arm's length as I tried, and failed, to reclaim my headphones, but I soon gave up, crossing my arms over my chest in a huff.
"Ok, fine! It's 'The Raging Wrath of the Easter Bunny'."
"Hahaha! WHAT?"
"It's a demo. The band's called Mr. Bungle. They're from Eureka."
"Well, isn't that fortuitous, 'cause my little Bunny is definitely raging and wrathful today."
He screwed up his face, mocking me. I stuck my tongue out at him.
"Where did you get this?"
"I'm a tape trader, remember?"
"No. I'd definitely remember you telling me something like that."
"Well, maybe if you weren't so busy running your mouth all the time, you'd actually hear what other people have to say."
"This... this is fuckin' brutal. It's like, black metal meets speed."
Eddie was in his own little world. I threw my hands up in disbelief and shook my head.
"See. Didn't hear a damn thing I just said."
"You gotta make me a copy of this."
"You know, you're awfully demanding today."
He shot me a wink and handed over my headphones. I swiped them out of his hand giving him the evil eye.
"I figured you'd be listening to that goth or glam bullshit. What other cool stuff you got?"
"I've got a lotta cool shit. I got this in my most recent haul along with a demo from Guns 'N' Roses, and one from Faster Pussycat. But they're both glam bullshit," I emphasized sarcastically.
"Glam. Gay L.A. music, you mean."
"Oh, whatever, asshole. Axel Rose has some killer pipes. And Kelly Nickels, the bassist from Faster Pussycat... total YUM! He was actually in the running to be the bassist for W.A.S.P. Bet you didn't know that, did ya? UGHH! I swear, what I would give to be the center of a Blackie Lawless and Kelly Nickels sandwich." I scanned the horrified faces at the table and froze. "Um... sorry... I forgot I'm not sitting with Robin." I took a huge chug of my drink and averted my gaze, dying of embarrassment.
"Isn't Kelly Nickels that guy you said looks like Munson?"
I choked on my beverage, hacking, and coughing, leaving no room for subtlety. Stealing a glance at Eddie I saw his smug grin. I had to think fast.
"Uh, I did not say that, Gareth."
"I'm pretty sure you did."
"Well, you're wrong." I smacked his arm, wanting to crawl into a deep dark hole and die.
"Uh-huh... I knew it. You do wanna fuck me."
"Ugg! Munson, get over yourself." I stood up and collected my shit.
"Aw, come on. Where you goin'?"
"I've lost my appetite." I spat at Eddie. "Catch you later, losers." I turned to Dustin and Mike. "Not you two. You guys will always be my little cuties."
I scrunched my nose, kissed Dustin's head, and mussed Mike's hair, smiling at their giddy expressions, then I waved at Jeff and Doug, stuck my tongue out at Gareth, gave Eddie the finger, and left. I could still hear him laughing as I walked away.
Eddie's eyes followed you as you walked away. "Dude, you're gonna bore a hole in her back if you stare at her any harder."
"Hmph, she totally wants me," Eddie said smugly to no one in particular.
"Munson, just ask her out already and put us all out of our misery."
"That would negate the sister rule, Gareth."
"She's not my sister, so if you wanna give it a shot, be my guest. But you gotta stop comin' at her guns blazing, or she's gonna kick your ass."
"Now that I'd love to see."
"Jeff, if I want your opinion, I'll beat it outta you."
"Whatever, Munson, but Gareth's right. If this is your idea of playing it cool, it's not working. You need to stop being so rash... with all of us. She sees right through it, and it looks like it's starting to get to her."
Eddie thought about it for a moment. Maybe they're right. He loved his little sheep, and picking on you was his favorite pastime, but he was being an inconsiderate ass.
You've consumed Eddie's thoughts since the day Corroded Coffin started practicing at Gareth's house. He knew who you were. Being a year older than Gareth you'd already attended Hawkins High for a year, but you never actually spoke to one another until that fateful day in the fall of '83. You heard the commotion in the garage and decided to stroll over. That's when you two were formally introduced, and you permanently imprinted on his mind and his heart. It was the first day of the rest of his life, but you weren't yet 16, and he'd just turned 18 and he was not gonna open that can of worms. It didn't stop him from playfully pestering you every day. And when you turned 18 a few months back he bumped it up a notch, but lately, he's noticed that you've been on edge and not as receptive to his teasing. Was it losing its luster for you? Were you genuinely annoyed? He couldn't let that happen. You were too important to him, but there was only one way to find out, and he knew exactly where you'd be.
~~~~~
I entered the clearing in the woods and hopped onto the picnic table, hoping to spare myself any more embarrassment or harassment by finishing a cigarette before Eddie showed up.
I wasn't pissed at him, just pissy in general. He's been making it so much harder to mask my feelings and my sexual frustration with blatant denial, and I was starting to lash out, which made me feel incredibly guilty. I could try asking him to stop, but then he'd know something was up, so suffer I will. But it was evident as Eddie came strolling into the clearing that luck was not on my side today.
"Ah, shit... can't I have a moment's peace?"
"You're not escaping my sexy mug that easily, Bunny."
I smiled sarcastically, arms draped lazily over my knees. I watched Eddie park his ass next to me, pull a soft pack of Camels from his vest pocket, shake one out, and trap it between his lips. (Jesus, why when it comes to this man does my mind turn something so innocent into filth?) He flicked his Zippo shut and took a drag. Resting his forearms on his knees and clasping his hands together, he studied my face.
"What, do I have something in my teeth?" I started rubbing them with my finger.
"No."
"Then why are you staring at me?"
"'Cause you're sexy." He smiled slyly, taking another drag.
I exhaled heavily, leaning my forehead on my palms, visibly irritated.
"Ok, ok. I'll stop. I was actually wondering what you're doing for Schwag's class."
I whipped my head around, confusion written all over my face. Was I just transported into a parallel universe? Not only did Eddie stop teasing me on his own accord, but he's making small talk.
"What?"
"What are you doing for Schwagert's class?"
He flashed me a sweet smile, which is so unlike him. It was strange but refreshing, and it was stirring something inside me. I suddenly felt nervous, and uneasy... and kinda horny.
"Hey, you ok? You look like you're having some kinda... internal struggle. I promise I won't laugh if that's what you're worried about. I'm genuinely curious."
I was staring at him like he had three heads.
"Um, no... I um... I'm gonna do a portrait series."
"Self-portraits?"
"No, I hate self-portraits. I was actually considering drawing you if you wanna sit for me... and if you can keep your trap shut for a few hours."
His face fell. "You... you wanna draw me?"
"Yeah. Emphasis on the 'shut trap'." I took a drag from my cigarette as an embarrassing thought occurred to me, followed by more word vomit. "I mean, n-not like nude or anything." His smug ass perked right back up.
"Well, I'm not opposed," he said looking rather assuming.
"Dude, seriously."
He just kept laughing. "Ok, ok... but why me?"
"I don't know. You just have this... look." My eyes finally met his.
"I have a look?"
"Mm-hm."
I looked away sucking on my cigarette. Eddie was seemingly deep in thought and started playing with his rings.
"Um... what kinda look?"
"Not a bad look."
His head snapped up and he smiled mischievously.
"Really?"
I rolled my eyes. "Slow your roll, Munson... but yes. Your look, it's... well, it's distinctive and commanding. Good or bad, you can't deny that you have this... charisma... that makes you impossible to ignore. I wanna capture that." I was expecting some perverted retort, but it never came.
"Well, uh... that's... extremely flattering. I um... I didn't realize you saw me that way."
I couldn't read his expression, but the wrestlers in my stomach were at it again, powerbomb after powerbomb, and I felt the need to cover my tracks.
"I do. I mean, n-not like in that way. I can ignore you if I want to. You don't make it easy... b-but I can..." I rested my elbows on my knees, held my fingertips to my forehead, and sighed. "You just... your look is particular, that's all I'm saying." Shit, this was so embarrassing.
"Uh... o-kay?"
"So... will you do it?" I still couldn't look up.
"Absolutely! Just tell me when and where."
My head shot up. "Wow, um... ok, great... w-we could do it tonight if you want?"
I screwed up my face, immediately wanting to shove my foot in my mouth.
"Bunny, we can do it on this goddamn table, right here right now." He wiggled his eyebrows.
"Jesus, I set myself up for that one. You know I didn't mean it like that."
He was giggling like an idiot. "Sorry, I couldn't pass up that opportunity."
Sorry? He never apologizes for his behavior.
"Ok, what the hell is up with you?"
"Whatta you mean?"
"I mean, you're being relatively polite, and making small talk. It's not like you. Did we transport to Bizarro World or something?"
He chuckled. "Just call me Eidde." He smiled bashfully. "I don't know. Maybe I'm trying to turn over a new leaf."
"Ok?" I shot him a sideways glance, but he just sat there, smoking his cigarette, smiling. "Well, we can start tonight at Gareth's." He nodded in agreement. "So what're you gonna do? Did you think of more ingenious ways to flaunt your hatred for Carver?"
He let out a huge belly laugh. "Um, no... Mrs. S. shot down my idea for a sequel. I'm probably gonna do an installation so I can incorporate my music."
"Oh! I like that idea. It's a shame about the sequel though. I was impressed with the original, but I'm biased. Carver's a douche with a capital bag."
We chuckled staring at each other for a moment.
"Yeah, well, it's nice to know someone appreciates my artistic talent."
Eddie placed his hand on my knee and gave it a little squeeze, but instead of shirking it off, I patted it, but he pulled away rather quickly, looking like he didn't know what he should do with his hand.
"So, you're really agreeing to help me?"
"Yep."
"Just like that? No... proposition or outrageous demands in return?"
"Well, since you suggested it..." His smile was wicked.
"Jesus, why the hell do I keep opening my big mouth?"
His grin widened. "Since your big mouth is already open, how 'bout a big sloppy blowjob... or I'll settle for a big wet kiss... or... we can cut right to the chase and finally fuck." He nudged my shoulder.
"Jesus, you're hopeless. Is that all? Do you want my first born too?" (Fuck! I did it again!)
"Well, I can cum inside you when we're fuckin'."
I shoved him so hard, I knocked his giggling ass off the table, but I welcomed the distraction of his laughing fit because the thought of him cumming inside me made my cheeks flush and my thighs clench involuntarily. If spontaneous combustion is truly a thing, consider me Spinal Tap drummer number seven. Luckily the position in which he fell and the time it took him to climb back onto the table was enough for me to collect myself.
"You're a fucking pervert."
"I know, I can't help it."
"Well, try." He nodded. "Why don't you agree to come to prom with all of us instead?"
"Um... that doesn't exactly benefit me. So, no... it has to be option 1, 2, or 3."
"Ok, then I guess I'll pick option 4, none of the above."
"Then you can't draw me."
His expression was serious. I didn't know how to react until he snickered and cracked a smile before erupting into full-on laughter. I smacked him upside the head and he yelped.
"You're such a dick, Munson."
He was still rolling, trying to catch his breath. "Ha! Uh ha, hmm... ok, fine, you can still draw me, but prom? That's really not my thing."
"You're missin' out."
"On what? Shitty music and jock scrutiny? No thanks. But I do wanna ask you something."
We locked eyes. His expression was foreign. He's never looked at me like this before. It was like... adoration mixed with worry. Was he nervous? He looked nervous. Or was I nervous?
"Does um... does my behavior bother you?"
I looked at him quizzically. Why would he care what I thought?
"Um... no. I mean, you definitely know how to push my buttons... and sometimes I just wanna strangle you... but you're one of my best friends. I understand your humor. But you do need to lay off the boys."
He looked only partially relieved. "Fair enough. I just... well, you're a cool girl... and I really enjoy our banter, but you seem a little on edge lately, so I just wanted to make sure. I've never had a female friend as accepting as you, so I don't wanna push you away."
I stared at him in shock, like maybe his three heads would sprout horns. He seemed genuinely worried about upsetting me.
"Ok, is this like, a reverse invasion of the body snatchers or something? Who are you?"
We both laughed. His smile was huge, and so fucking gorgeous. Then I saw it. The subtle movement of his eyes falling to my lips. Did I just see that, or did I imagine it? I felt lightheaded and my heart was pounding as he slid closer, smiling as he scanned my face. (Headlock, shoot off, drop down, leapfrog, hip toss, cover, and 1... 2... 3... wrestler pinned... insert pyro explosion here)
I think I stopped breathing, and then... (Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrringggggggg) Our heads swiveled toward the school. Ugg! That fucking bell. We turned our attention back to each other. Eddie let out a heavy breath, suddenly bashful, and awkwardly backed away, and I finally took a breath.
"Um... we... we should probably..."
"Yeah, um... I'll... I'll walk you back."
~~~~~
We walked through the hall in silence, still smiling, occasionally stealing glances at each other. I had no idea how to process what just happened. What did just happen? Was it even anything? I looked at Eddie. His smile was so bashful, almost innocent. It was so fucking CUTE I wanted to hug him, squeeze him, and call him George.
That's it... we were definitely in Bizarro World.
~~~~~
Sitting on the couch in Gareth's garage, my pencil flowed over the pages of my sketchbook with ease. Eddie was my fucking muse. It's amazing what I can accomplish when I'm drawing a willing participant. But when 'practice' was over, I had the misfortune of being a part of the most fucked up conversation in the history of conversations.
"Is that the latest Hustler? Ooo, toss that over here." Eddie wasted no time flipping through the pages.
"Jesus, you guys have a one-track mind."
"That's the pot calling the kettle black. I know for a fact you like to read those cheesy smut books."
I threw an empty beer can at Gareth. "Way to sell me out, asshole."
"Smut books, huh? A bit of a dirty bird aren't ya, Bunny?"
"This coming from the man who has a pile of nudie mags under his bed. And don't give me that 'I read the articles' excuse."
"I do read the articles."
"I'm not talking about letters to Penthouse." I smiled cheekily.
"She's got you there, Munson," Gareth said.
"Ok, my deviance is a surprise to no one, but this little dirty bird seems to be hiding more than just doodles. So, Bunny... what're your other guilty pleasures?" He asked, wiggling his eyebrows.
I flashed him an irritated look. "Eddie, if you think I'm gonna tell you that you're outta your goddamn mind."
"Awww... come on. Don't be a prude."
Gareth, Jeff, and Doug turned their attention to Eddie, probably expecting me to kick his ass. I turned to look at him and sighed. He wasn't gonna let this go, so I figured I'd have a little fun with him.
"Alright... you really wanna know?"
Sitting on the edge of the couch, nodding like an idiot, a stupid grin spread across his face, Eddie anxiously awaited my reply.
"I wanna know."
"Me too."
Jeff and Doug, my peanut gallery.
"I'm not sure I do."
"SHHH! Shut up, Gareth. No one cares what you think."
Eddie was too preoccupied to notice Gareth giving him the finger.
"Ok... fine. If you really wanna know, I'll tell you."
Eddie took a sip of his beer. I could see the excitement in his eyes, so I exhaled heavily.
"Yes, I like smut novels. I draw a lot of erotic pictures, and I too read Letters to Penthouse. I also enjoy watching porn."
All four of them were frozen in place, Eddie in mid-swig and the other three with their jaws on the floor. Eddie swallowed hard before speaking.
"Like, what kinda porn?" He asked sheepishly.
All four boys were waiting impatiently with bated breath.
"Ok, um... well, the softcore, romantic stuff is my favorite, but I do enjoy a bit of hardcore." I gauged Eddie's reaction. He was mesmerized, eyes glued to my face as he took another sip of his beer. "I occasionally enjoy some girl-on-girl. Threesomes are so hot. Two girls and one guy, one girl and two guys, it doesn't matter. Like I said, I'm down for a Blackie/Kelly sandwich. Oh, and voyeurism. I love the thought of watching people fuck while I touch myself... really gets me goin'."
Eddie spit out a mouthful of beer and the others were all in a daze, mouths agape, processing everything I just said, but it was Eddie who broke the silence.
"And... how exactly did you pick up these little... hobbies?"
"Dude, I'm a shy, introvert, outcast... we're as freaky as they come."
"It's always the quiet ones," Doug said in disbelief.
"Mm-hm. Well... now that the cat's outta the bag, I have a date with my VCR and a naughty VHS. Later, losers."
(Suck it, Munson!) I gave a triumphant smile, winked at Eddie, turned on my heels, and headed to my garage making sure to shake my hips as I left.
Eddie sat staring at the ground. "I don't know about you guys, but I need a cold shower after that one."
"Me, too."
"Me three."
Eddie looked at his friends, who were all still in shock. "Do... do you think she's serious?"
He jumped off the couch and bolted after you.
"Hey, Munson, wait... MUNSON!" Gareth sprinted after Eddie and grabbed his arm before he could make it to your house. "Dude! Seriously? She was just fucking with you."
Eddie bowed his head in defeat and followed Gareth back to his garage. He sat down and resumed staring at the ground adjusting his crotch uncomfortably as Jeff and Doug grabbed their gear.
"You guys outta here?" Gareth asked.
"Yep. We'll see you tomorrow."
They waved goodbye and made their way to Jeff's car. Gareth turned his attention to Eddie, noticing his frustration.
"Munson, just fuckin' tell her."
Eddie threw his head back against the couch and rubbed his hands over his face, groaning.
"Come on, Gareth. You know I can't."
"Why?"
"'Cause we've got a good thing going. If I confess my love and she doesn't feel the same I'll lose her forever, or at the very least things'll just be incredibly awkward. But I can't stop fucking thinking about her." Eddie looked toward your house. "You know her better than I do. What should I do?"
"Ok, here's what I do know. If she's willing to take your shit... there's gotta be somethin' else there. No one's crazy enough to tolerate your dumb ass unless they want to, but if she does have feelings for you, she'll never make the first move, so I think you should approach her. I also know that she was lying at lunch. She can deny it all she wants but she really does think you look like that Kelly Nickels guy. That's gotta count for something."
Eddie smiled to himself. "Maybe."
"Well, either you tell her, or I will, 'cause all this pining shit... it's really fucking irritating. And swallow your pride, man. Ask her to prom. You know you'll have fun with her. Go ask her now. She's probably sitting in her garage."
Eddie let out a huge sigh. "Alright, man, but the whole feelings thing... let me test the water... if she seems receptive then I'll spill my guts."
"Good luck, dude."
Eddie gave Gareth a bro handshake, grabbed a couple of beers, and shuffled toward your garage. When he got close enough he heard you talking, probably on the phone. He knew he shouldn't listen but the devil on his shoulder convinced him otherwise, so he leaned against the corner of your garage just out of sight.
~~~~~
"Oh, come on, Robin. He was asking for it."
"Yes but when you do that it only riles him up more."
"Him? What about me? The flirting and teasing have only gotten worse. I can't fucking take it anymore."
"Exactly. You know how he is. If you keep egging him on you're only making things worse for you. Just tell him how you feel."
"Robin... you know I can't do that."
"Why not?"
"Because... he's my friend."
"And?"
"And... if he rejects me... things'll be super awkward. And if he still wants to be my friend I'll be forced to suppress my feelings just to maintain some sort of normalcy around him, and I'll be no better off."
"Did you at least ask him to the dance?"
"Not exactly. I suggested he come with all of us, but you know how he is. He's too proud to 'give in to the masquerade of forced conformity'." I said in my best Eddie voice.
"Well, I don't know what to tell you. Just keep dropping hints. Maybe he'll get the message."
"I hope so. I don't know how much longer I can keep this up. I want to be with him so fucking bad, but I don't wanna lose him."
"I understand, trust me I do."
"I know. Well, I'm gonna go watch my movie, take my mind off shit. Tell Steve I said hi."
"Hey, Dingus! Y/n says hi! He's waving at you."
"Nice."
"Well, we love you girly."
"Love you guys too."
I hung up the phone and stared at my open sketch pad, utterly lost in Eddie's image.
Eddie's eyes were wide with shock. He could only hear your side of the conversation, but he had no doubt who you were talking about. Jesus H. Christ! You have feelings... for him. You pretend you don't but you do! This... this changes everything! So why was this dread still lingering in his chest? Nerves maybe? He had to say something, but he didn't want to come on too strong. Act casual... yeah. That's what he'll do... just... act casual. After silently syking himself up he took a few deep breaths and decided to make his move.
"BOO!"
"JESUS CHRIST!" I jumped out of my skin, nearly falling off of my stool. "You think you're funny, asshole?"
Eddie was doubled over with laughter as I sat there clutching my chest.
"Hahahahaha! Ohhhh, no... I think I'm adorable."
"Ugg! I hate you so much, Munson."
"Awww, come on now. You know that's not true. May I come in?"
I released a heavy sigh. "Sure... whatever."
"Here, a peace offering."
He handed me a beer.
"Thanks."
We sat in silence for a moment as he checked out all the drawings hanging above my desk.
"Jesus, you're amazing. I love your style. The way you see the world, it's just... incredible."
"Thanks." I smiled bashfully.
He motioned to my open sketch pad.
"May I?"
"Sure." Ahhhhhhh! His smile makes my fucking insides liquefy.
"Oh, Bunny... these are fantastic! I've never looked so good." He flashed a cheeky smile and flipped to the front of the book.
"Nice try. You won't find anything. This sketchbook is strictly for school projects."
He let out a breathy laugh. "You caught me. I wish you'd show me your personal drawings. You're so passionate about your work. Like I am with my music."
"Maybe someday, Munson." I flashed him a sweet smile.
"Um, you mind if I turn on some tunes?"
"No, go ahead."
He started fiddling with the record player.
"Looks like your old man was listening to Clapton. I'll just leave that on."
"Works for me."
He positioned the record player needle and shuffled back to his chair.
"So... what's on your agenda for this evening... besides hardcore porn... and me?"
He smiled wickedly, pulled his smokes from his vest pocket, and went through his routine.
"Not fucking you, Munson."
I loved hearing him laugh, or talk... or move... or fucking breathe. Whatever the hell he was doing... I loved it.
"So, do you actually watch all that stuff, or were you just fuckin' with me?"
"Uh..." I eyeballed him hesitantly, but his expression was calm, and not flirtatious, so I gave him this one. "Yeah... I do."
He raised his brow and exhaled a cloud of smoke. "Well... that's um... that's hot. I was just gonna head home, get high, and play guitar, but now... I think I'm gonna have to rub one out. Care to turn it into phone sex? Preferably while you're still watching porn?"
(JESUS CHRIST! I know what I'm drawing tonight) I rolled my eyes. "Dude! What is with you? You've been so lewd lately. Like, more than usual." He smiled cheekily and stared at me. "No! No phone sex, no fucking, just... no!"
His whole body shook with laughter. "Ok, then I guess I'm goin' solo. So, if you're not gonna watch porn, what are you gonna do?"
I shook my head. "I'm gonna watch 'Help'."
"Can't say I've seen it."
"Really? It's a super corny Beatles movie."
"Oh, I know what it is, I just haven't seen it. Is it good?"
"I love it. It's one of my favorites. I watch it with my mom all the time."
"Speaking of the lovely Mrs. Y/l/n, where are your folks?"
"They're visiting my grandma this weekend."
"Well, that's a shame. I'll just have to schmooze your mom next time. So... was tonight's session enough to do your project, or do you need me to sit for you again?"
(Ok, what the fuck?) "Alright dude, what's going on? You're doing it again."
"What?"
"Oh, come on. For the past few months, you've been... I don't know... a lot more perverted, but today you're trying to incorporate small talk and some semblance of courtesy. So what's going on?"
"I don't know. Maybe I want you to see a different side of me, so I'm talking about things that aren't strictly sex oriented."
"Yeah, but why?"
"Well... maybe I like you."
"HA! Hyeah, right. If you don't wanna tell me the real reason, just say so. You don't need to make shit up."
"Who says I'm making shit up?"
I tried to play it cool, not letting on that the instant those words left his lips Hulk Hogan leg dropped King Kong Bundy.
"Uh... I am."
"Why? Is it so hard to believe that I could see you as more than just a friend?"
I scoffed. "Yeah, a fuck buddy, maybe."
Jesus, it felt like an Alien was about to punch through my chest. I reached for my smokes and lit up trying to thwart my anxiety.
Eddie nodded solemnly, but when 'Wonderful Tonight' started to play, he set down his beer and held out his hand.
"Wanna dance?"
I must've looked like a deer in headlights.
"What?"
"Come on... dance with me."
I snuffed out my cigarette looking at him hesitantly. He grabbed my hands and pulled me up, threw my arms around his neck, wrapped his around my waist, and pulled me close. He started swaying us back and forth, his head nestled next to mine, but when the chorus hit I got ballsy. Knowing this wasn't bound to last, I decided to live in the moment. I leaned my head on his shoulder, squeezed my arms tighter, closed my eyes, and started playing with his hair, but to my shock and delight, he tightened his grip around my waist and leaned his head against mine, grazing my back with his fingertips. We embraced silently for several minutes, and all I could think was that I could die happy at this very moment... and then he had to go and fucking ruin it.
"Go to prom with me?"
His voice was so faint I wasn't sure I heard him correctly. I lifted my head, our eyes lingering on each other's faces, and I scowled, about to lose my shit.
"What? Ok, now I know you're joking."
"I'm not joking."
"Eddie, stop it. This isn't funny."
I broke away and went to shut off the record player, ready to scream. We just held each other so fucking tight, and there was something about the way he touched me. Probably just wishful thinking, but it seemed like we had a moment.
"Al-alright fine. Don't believe me."
"Why should I when you've been shitting on the idea all day?"
He was silent. I slumped my shoulders, released a sigh, and faced him. "Ok, fine, don't answer me. I'm gonna go watch my movie."
Eddie was chewing on his thumbnail, his other hand in his pocket, and he was staring at the ground nodding. He actually looked disappointed, and I had to admit, I felt kinda guilty. I didn't want him to leave, but this charade had to stop.
"Hey, um... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap. You don't have to go. I just... I want the nonsense to stop, ok? If you want you can watch 'Help' with me."
His head shot up so fast I thought he'd have whiplash.
"Um, yeah, ok. Your parents won't mind?"
"No, they know you. It's not like we're fuckin' or anything."
"Well..."
"DON'T... say it."
Signature Munson, never missing a beat. Jesus, my emotions were bouncing back and forth like a game of Pong.
~~~~~
We were on the couch in my basement, which also doubled as my bedroom. It was a pretty sweet setup if I say so myself.
"You're right. This is a really weird movie. Not as trippy as 'Tommy', but still pretty bad."
He pulled his arms up to shield himself from my slap but was unsuccessful.
"Oh, shut up. It's awesome and you know it. And so is 'Tommy'."
"No, you're right. I do like 'Tommy'. Ann Margaret's hot." His smile was so goofy.
"So is Roger Daltrey," I smirked. "Ooo, I love this part. Paul using the girl as a guitar."
"Ooo, that looks like fun. Come 'ere."
"What?" He reached for my arm and pulled me across the couch. "What... what're you...? Hey! Hahaha!"
"Come on, sit on my lap. Put your hand on your hip, hold the other arm out... there we go. Now... I play."
I was dying of laughter as Eddie played my arms like a guitar and started singing along to 'Another Girl'.
🎶For I have got, another girl
Another girl who will love me till the end
Through thick and thin, she will always be my friend
I don't wanna say that I've been unhappy with you
But as from today, well, I've seen somebody that's new
I ain't no fool and I don't take what I don't want
For I have got, another girl🎶
Eddie stopped playing, wrapped his arms around me, and pulled my giggling ass against his chest, continuing to rock me in time with the music, only this time, when the song ended, I stayed put.
"I thought you didn't like The Beatles."
"I never said that. I just said I never saw this movie, but my mom used to listen to them too."
I smiled, taking the opportunity to rest my head back against his shoulder and wrap my arms around his. I felt his hair tickle my neck, so I looked up and found him smiling at me. Our faces were so fucking close. I smiled back and he leaned down and kissed my cheek.
"W-what was that for?"
"Just felt like it. I'm having a good time."
"M-me too."
There was that look again. The same one from this afternoon at the picnic table. That look of adoration, but this time with a little something extra. And there was no bell. Nothing to break the trance. I couldn't look away as he scanned my face and brushed some stray hair behind my ear, his hand now resting on my cheek. A flash of eyes to lips, and then...
NOTHING!
He returned his arm to my waist and turned back to the TV.
(Mother... Shhhh... Jesu... what the... oh... SON OF A BITCH!!!) I couldn't even think a coherent sentence, so I turned my attention back to the movie. I must've been squirming too much because Eddie pulled my legs across his lap, which was a way more comfortable position, and I allowed myself to cuddle into his chest. I was so tired I should've passed out, but I couldn't shut off my brain.
"I love this song so much."
I started singing along with John Lennon to 'You've Got to Hide Your Love Away'. Eddie joined in, and we smiled at each other as we sang, and again he rocked me to the music.
🎶How can I even try?
I can never win
Hearing them, seeing them
In the state I'm in
How could she say to me
"Love will find a way"?
Gather 'round, all you clowns
Let me hear you say
Hey, you've got to hide your love away
Hey, you've got to hide your love away🎶
We couldn't peel our eyes off each other.
"You're voice is beautiful."
"Thanks," I whispered.
We stared a few moments longer before my nerves got the better of me, and I returned my head to his chest.
"You know, this whole album is like... a metaphor for our entire relationship."
What? Did he really mean that? Most of the songs were about want, need, and... love. I didn't know how to respond, so I didn't. I just buried myself deeper into his chest in reply, and again his arms tightened around me.
By the time the movie was over I could no longer keep my eyes open. The warmth of his body and his musky scent were so comforting.
"Hey, Bunny... you sleepy? You want me to leave?"
Without opening my eyes I shook my head, clutched onto his shirt, and whispered, "No... please don't go."
I have no idea where my newfound boldness was coming from, but Eddie didn't protest. Instead, he enveloped me in his arms and rested his cheek on my head.
"I won't, Bunny."
I smiled to myself as Eddie shifted us so we were lying down facing each other, my head still buried in his chest and his arms still wrapped tightly around me. I managed to open my eyes and look up. He was smiling, watching me, and like a moth to a flame, my hand found his face, my fingertips lightly grazing his features as my eyes followed their trek... his pale cheek, covered by little grains of stubble... his plush, pink lips, which parted slightly at my touch. He closed his eyes and leaned into it until my fingertips trailed to his cute, button nose, his forehead, and back through his hair, where I buried them behind his neck giving him a little scratch.
"Mmm, that's... that's nice."
He released a faint moan and slowly opened his eyes. They were glossy, wanton, and... unsure. His lips formed a sincere smile, and he started repeating my previous motions. His fingers explored my face, eyes following suit.
"Go to prom with me, Bunny."
His voice was so low, commanding even.
"Eddie, why?"
"Because I wanna spend time with you."
"You already spend time with me."
"I know, but... I just wanna go with you. Please say yes."
I sensed nothing but sincerity in his gorgeous eyes, and his voice, so I willed myself to whisper, "Ok... I'll go with you."
"Yeah?" His smile was enormous.
"Yeah."
He cuddled closer and kissed my head. (Flying elbow drop, off the top rope, straight to the gut) When I looked at him we were nose to nose. He nuzzled mine, lips parted. It was almost like a silent plea, begging me to close the gap, to finally let him taste my lips for the very first time, but I was frozen. His lips ghosted mine. I was practically cross-eyed staring at them, but he wouldn't take the plunge. I felt like I was trying to will him with a Jedi mind trick to just do it already, but the force is not strong with me, and he just lingered... the fucking tease.
"Have sex with me," he whispered, smiling playfully.
"What? No." I poked him in the gut, and he giggled.
"Come on. I know you want it as much as I do... and I think it's time we do something about it."
My brow furrowed, eyes darting back and forth in disbelief across Eddie's face. Who does this mother fucker think he is? I mean, I do in fact wanna fuck him, but that's not the point. It's the principle of the thing. I pushed his chest hard and got off the couch ready to lay into him.
"Hey, what---?"
"That's all I am to you, huh? Some... perverted game or prized sexual conquest? Do you have any respect?"
"What? N-no, that's..." he stood up and gripped my arms, "it's not like that at all."
"Then why do you keep pushing this?! I can't..."
I started to cry, unable to finish my sentence. I wanted to smack him, kick him outta my house, just... anything to make the pain stop, but I was so exhausted from this charade and all the mind games that I didn't have the strength to fight him anymore, so when he pulled me into a tight hug and kissed the top of my head I didn't fight him. I just let him hold me as I balled into his shirt.
"Hey, I'm sorry. I'm just... not very good at this, so I'm going about it the only way I know how, and... well, I'm failing miserably, and um... Jesus, I don't know how the hell to do this."
"Do what?" I mumbled.
He pulled me back so he could look at my face, and caress my cheek. His expression immediately softened, but he looked uncertain and extremely nervous.
"Um, hhhhh... something I should've done a long time ago. I wasn't lying earlier. I like you... a lot... but it's more than that... I'm uh..."
"Eddie... what're you doing?"
There was a brief silence. And then... it happened...
"I'm ending our friendship."
And just like that, he closed the gap and encased my lips with his. The sweet pressure of it, the subtle transition of tongue against tongue, the soft, gentle strokes of his thumbs against my face. It was perfect. I couldn't speak, but I needed reassurance. I slowly broke the kiss.
"Hyou... you're serious... aren't you? You're not just saying all this so I'll sleep with you?"
Now he looked like he wanted to cry.
"Y/n, no... you know me better than that. I'm just... a big oaf, but I would never take advantage of you. I just... I wanna be with you. And yes, I... I really wanna fuck you... but not as a buddy. I want you to be my girl. We don't have to do a damn thing. I'd be elated to just hold you for five minutes, but I need you to know this. I--I'm in love with you."
(DDT into a flying body press, followed by a sit-down drop to the gut) I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to stop the onset of tears. Oh my God... oh my God, oh my God, oh my God... oh my FUCKING God! I opened my eyes slowly. We were nose to nose. He flicked his tongue lightly against my lips, and the bastard fucking smiled.
"Munson... hyou-- you're fucking evil." The words came out with my breath.
"I know..."
He cupped his hand under my knee, wrapping my thigh around his hip, and with an arm around my back, he pulled me flush against him. HOOOLY FUCKING SHIT! I could feel how hard he was as he ground his bulge against my aching cunt. My fucking eyes rolled into the back of my head and my breathing hitched. Jesus, Fuck! He was playing so dirty. I wanted to curse him out, spew every obscenity known to man and then some. When I opened my eyes, he was smiling devilishly.
"But you still wanna fuck me... don't you?"
I nodded involuntarily, as if I no longer had control of my body, and Eddie's tongue shot into my mouth. His kiss was hurried, and vivacious, our faces smashed so close together it hurt... but I didn't care. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, and without parting he hiked me up by my thighs and carried me to my bed.
He fell onto the mattress with me on top of him, shifting his body under my weight, continuing to breathe new life into me. His hands found my ass, greedily squeezing before gliding gently up my sides, lifting my shirt. The touch of his hands on my bare skin sent shockwaves up my spine. I broke away just long enough to grab the bunched fabric and rip it over my head throwing it to the floor. Like he couldn't function without them, he found my lips again.
"Mmm, mhh, hhhh... Bunny, I know I joke, but I'm not fuckin' around. Are you sure you want this?" He smoothed back my hair and searched my eyes.
I smiled brightly, tears flowing freely. "Eddie, I want this. I want you."
"Yeah?" He asked, just to be sure.
When I nodded he crashed his lips to mine, drinking them in, savoring them as I've wanted him to for so fucking long.
He rolled me onto my back, trailing hot, wet kisses down my neck, licking softly between my breasts. The heat of his breath was like fire on my skin, and it burned so good. He gently tugged at the front of my bra freeing my perky tits, stopping to admire me.
"Jesus H. Christ... you're so beautiful."
When he finally took a hard peak into his mouth, my back arched, my brow creased, my teeth clenched, and I sucked in a breath of praise, shaking from the stimulation.
"Mmm... Jesus, you're nipples are sensitive. Have they always been like that?"
"N-no... hoh--only when I'm... really turned on. And I-- I've been waiting... so long... for you to touch me like this."
I gasped as he gently flicked my nipple with the tip of his tongue, trailing it up my neck. He placed a chaste kiss on my lips, cupped my cheek, and kissed my forehead tenderly before leaning his on mine.
"My sweet, beautiful Bunny. I've been dreaming of touching you like this for ages, and I wanna take my time with you... to make our first time together last, but I don't think either one of us is gonna make it." He let out a breathy laugh. "Just seeing you, hearing you... knowing how you make me feel, and... knowing how you feel about me..."
He was shaking with urgency, lip quivering, running his hands through my hair, brushing my face with his fingertips... he was manic... and it was beautiful.
"Eddie... I know... there'll be time for all that. I just wanna be with you now."
He exhaled, eyes still shut tight, and he nodded before claiming my lips in a passionate kiss.
"Mhhhh... you're sure about this? About me?"
I gave him a sweet pout, cupped his face, and pulled his forehead to mine.
"Eddie... I want everything with you... and only you."
His whimper was resounding, muffled by my own as we kissed feverishly.
"Mmhhh, Y/n... are you safe? Can-can I take you raw?"
His expression was sweet. He was watching, waiting, yearning as he searched my face.
"Eddie, yes... I love you."
The instant the words left my lips he ravished mine. I ripped off his shirt and tossed it away, quickly locking lips again as he rushed to undo his belt. Without parting we both fumbled with his jeans only bothering to push them just past his hips, and in seconds he was pushing himself inside me. I sucked in a sharp breath, and he was shaking, mouth agape, eyes shut tight as he buried himself to the hilt.
"Ohhhhhsweet... Jeeesus!" He stilled, little broken moans reverberating throughout his chest as we got used to each other.
"Eddie, it's ok... I'm-I'm ok, uuh! Hyou--you can move."
He exhaled heavily and slowly started thrusting, adjusting to the tight space.
"GodDAMN! Hyou, mgghh... you feel better than anything I could've imagined. So soft, so warm... so fucking tight! Jesus, you're perfect."
He leaned his forehead to the crook of my neck as he picked up his pace. I was moaning like a harlot, my eyes rolling into the back of my head. It was pure fucking bliss. I wrapped my legs around his hips, holding him so close.
"I... I couldn't take it anymore." He breathed out. "I--I've been in love with you... since the day we met. Needed this... needed you... so fucking bad. Haww, uhhhh, FUCK!"
My heart skipped a beat. His thrusts were steady, almost prolonged, like he didn't want to consider the notion of this moment ending.
"Eddie, mhhh... I-- I've been dying to hear you say those words."
He lifted his head to look at me, and he was beaming, smoothing my hair back.
"Mhh, my angel. You... you doin' ok? You feel good? Uhhhh."
UGGGG! He was so fucking sweet.
"Eddie..." I ground my hips into him, coaxing from him a delicious guttural moan. He closed his eyes and lowered his head, but I grabbed his face and forced him to look at me. "I'm loving this. We're finally together. Please... don't stop until you make me yours."
He stared at me as if he wasn't sure I was telling the truth. I placed a small kiss of reassurance on his lips, and they turned up into a huge smile. If I didn't know any better I'd say he was about to cry. He immediately claimed my lips, wrapped his arms around my back, and started to move faster. His movements, his touch, his eyes... they said so much, and nothing at all. He made me feel so goddamn good I began to come undone.
"Eddie... I'm-I'm close."
"Uhhh, that's my girl." He immediately rolled us over so he was on his back. "Fuck me, Bunny. Make yourself feel good, ungghh, mhhh yeah, just like that. Hoh, oh fuck! Cum... cum for me, Bunny."
I pressed my hands, to his chest, spread my thighs wide, and fucked him hard until all I could do was throw my head back and scream his name.
"Eddie, oh, ohfuck, FUCK! EDDIE!!!"
I came hard on his thick cock. His body tensed, and I knew he was done for, but I continued to grind and swirl my hips.
"Eddie, I wanna hear you, feel you. Cum inside me, baby. Please... cum for me."
I have never heard a more beautiful sound in my life. He pulled me down, rolled us over, laced our fingers together, and held them above my head, as he ground his hips into mine.
"Mm-Y/n, I'm-I'm gonna fill you up... make you mine. Uhhhhh, fuck... FUCK!"
He gave one more powerful thrust, and his body shuddered. Making the most lewd, yet seductive sound I ever had the pleasure of witnessing, he pumped me full of his seed. Once he was finished he collapsed onto his side, his chest heaving, covered in a sheen of sweat.
"Uhhh... mhhh, h-holy shit..."
He smiled, met my blitzed-out gaze, and started laughing. I placed my hand on his cheek, and he closed his eyes, leaning into my touch. When he opened them he let out a content sigh. He reached for me, wrapped his arm around my waist, and pulled me into the spoon position. Looking down at me, he tilted my chin with his finger so he could see my face. He smiled brightly as an equally giddy smile crossed my lips, and he kissed me, squeezing me tight. I couldn't describe the happiness I felt.
"Eddie?"
"Yeah, Bunny?"
"How did you know?"
He chuckled. "I heard you talking to Robin earlier."
"You were eves dropping?"
"Guilty as charged. I knew it was wrong, but I'm glad I did it."
"Hmm, me too. Do you really wanna go to prom?"
"Not particularly. But I'm not about to let you guys have all the fun without me, so I'm willing to damage my hard-earned rep for you. I just wanna be with you, Bunny."
He placed sweet, wet kisses on my bare shoulder.
"Well, you're one hell of a dancer. Surprised the shit outta me." Mhh, those fucking giggles.
"I know a thing or two." He took his arm from around my waist, laced our fingers together, and held them close to my chest. "I also knew I'd get you to fuck me."
I couldn't help but laugh. "Eddie Munson... you're such an ass... but don't ever change." I turned my head to look at his smiling face, and he kissed me passionately. "Mmm, so... why didn't you tell me you liked me? I was on the verge of imploding."
"I could ask you the same thing."
"I asked you first."
"Hmm, m-hm, hmm! Well, I wanted to. Gareth was my number one cheerleader... but I was too chicken shit. I couldn't stand the thought of losing you if you didn't feel the same way. But when I heard you talking to Robin... it was like... a weight lifted from my shoulders. I love you, Y/n... so fucking much. I fell in love with you the moment we were introduced... but you were so young. So when you turned 18, I just..."
"You started laying it on thick. Jesus, I can't believe I didn't put two and two together."
"Yeah, well... it seemed to have the opposite effect I was going for. Apparently I came off a lot more irritating than charming, so Gareth and Jeff told me to dial it back, and that's when the small talk started."
"I can't believe I was so blind."
"You and me both, Bunny, but now it's your turn, so fess up."
"Hmm, then let me up. I need to show you something."
"Do I have to?"
"Yes, just for a moment. I promise."
Eddie kissed my knuckles and reluctantly let me up. I retrieved a stack of sketchbooks and made my way back to the bed. I plopped down and placed the books in front of him.
"Go ahead."
He rolled onto his side, and I watched as he opened them and scanned the pages in disbelief.
"Are-are these for the project?"
"No. Look at the dates."
He checked them all, page after page, book after book.
"You... you've been drawing me since freshman year?"
"Yeah. That's why I never let you see anything. I know that's kinda creepy, but I just..."
"Uh... this one's far from creepy. We are definitely doing this later."
He pointed to one of my more risqué drawings, smiling mischievously, and I blushed.
"Anyway..." I exaggerated, "I couldn't keep my eyes off you. I've been crazy about you since my first day of school. And when we finally started hanging out, and you began teasing me all the time, I fell for you... hard, but by that point I was deep in the friend zone, and it seemed like you only thought of me as one of the guys. I didn't wanna jeopardize our friendship either, so... I hid my feelings. I thought if you knew the truth... that our banter, the flirting... everything... would all end, so I played along. But when the teasing got worse it became excruciating, so I started lashing out. But I love you, Eddie... with all my heart, and after what we just shared... I've fallen even harder."
I was balling like a baby, and when Eddie trapped me in his arms I melted into him.
"Hey, don't cry, Bunny."
I chuckled through sobs. "They're happy tears, Eddie. Just years of pent-up emotion and sexual frustration finally being expelled. And I really dig the name Bunny. You can call me that one all the time."
"Done. My sweet... soft... beautiful... raging... wrathful Bunny." He kissed my lips between every word. "Mmm, mhh. Can I spend the night?"
"What? Oh, fuck no! Get your shit and go. I got what I wanted." I smiled playfully.
"Hey now, there's only room in this relationship for one asshole."
"I beg to differ."
He wiggled out of his jeans, pulled me down with him and we held each other close. It took mere minutes for us to succumb to the exhaustion. It was the best night's sleep I've had in a long time.
~~~~~
Prom night had finally come. My house was abuzz as all the girls gathered here to get ready while our parents socialized. I was a ball of nerves waiting to see what Eddie had in store for me.
"Alright, look up and hold still... now close your eyes." Nancy lifted my chin and proceeded to apply my eye eyeliner.
"Thanks for doing this, Nancy. Robin and I aren't really make-up girls."
"Don't mention it. You're much less fidgety than Robin."
Nancy was such a sweet girl. Another perk of being friends with Mike and Steve.
"There we go. Hand me your lipstick."
I did as she asked, and she proceeded to apply.
"So... how are you and Munson dealing at school? Blot."
I opened my mouth and clamped my lips down on the piece of toilet paper Nancy was holding.
"Well, we had our fair share of jock harassment on Monday, but I nipped that one in the bud."
"Yeah, Jonathan and I dealt with that crap too. Just let it roll off your shoulder. People eventually get bored. And how about prom? I never thought I'd see the day when Munson would attend."
"Yeah, he feels like he's going against everything he stands for, but if you ask me, I think he's secretly enjoying himself. He won't tell me a damn thing about his outfit, just that I needed to wear black and red. Steve took him shopping, but Eddie swore him to secrecy. All Steve would say is that once he showed Eddie that he could look good and keep his metalhead flair he was very receptive. Steve was proud of him."
Nancy flashed a sweet smile.
"Nancy! Y/n! Get your asses up here! The boys will be here any minute!"
"Keep your panties on Robin, we're comin'!" I took a deep breath as Nancy put the finishing touches on my make-up.
"Ok, all done."
I took one last look at myself in the mirror. My hair was huge, but it fit the theme, and my make-up looked amazing.
"Nancy, you're a miracle worker. I appreciate it!"
"No problem. I love these colors on you. Too dark for my taste, but they suit you."
We smiled at each other, put on our masks, wrapped an arm around each other, and squeezed each other's shoulders.
"Well... you ready?"
"As I'll ever be."
Nancy took my hand and we headed upstairs.
~~~~~
"AHHHHH!!! You... look... amazing. Eddie's gonna flip his shit."
"Thanks, Robin."
"Alright girls, get together. I want some pictures. Make sure you have your masks."
"Mom, wait. Where's Max and El."
"We're right here!" Max yelled, dragging El behind her.
We all gathered in my living room in front of the fireplace, pushing and shoving, trying to get situated.
"Alright, girls. Everyone look this way. One... two... three!"
"Cheeeeeeese!" We all chimed in unison.
We appeased our parents with several photos and that's when we heard the horns.
"Ooo! They're here. Come on let's go!"
Robin grabbed my hand and yanked me toward the front door. Standing in the driveway we watched as two limos pulled up the street. Girls and mothers alike joined the reprise or 'ooo's' and 'ahh's' and 'wows' as the boys piled out of the limos dressed to the nine. They were all so handsome.
"I don't see Eddie."
As soon as the words left my lips it was like the parting of the Red Sea. All the boys moved to the side to reveal Eddie in a devil mask wearing all black save for the red paisley vest and the trim that lined his leather waistcoat. It was gothic steampunk meets metalhead pirate. When he removed his mask he was smiling.
"Someone catch me, I think I'm gonna faint."
Robin grabbed my arm. It was like time stopped, save for Eddie and me. I stood there with my jaw on the ground, eyeballing him up and down as the boys made their way toward us. It was like watching a slow-motion male model montage. When Eddie was finally in front of me he pulled a single long-stemmed rose from behind his back and presented it to me.
"My lady."
I took it hesitantly, unable to speak. I just gawked trying to find my voice.
"You um... ha! Good God you look... so goddamn fuckable," I managed to whisper.
He chuckled. "Hmm, later. I see you followed my instructions. You look absolutely gorgeous. And the bunny mask? Excellent touch."
"I like yours too. Is that your way of protesting your participation in the forced social conformity?"
He chuckled and nodded. "I thought you'd appreciate that."
He claimed my lips with so much passion I forgot we were surrounded by a giant group of people, including my parents.
"Alright, alright. Break it up you two."
We broke apart in protest. Eddie looked at the ground sheepishly, and I pawed at my face, making sure my make-up wasn't a mess.
"Um, sorry Dad."
"Yeah, I'm sorry Mr. Y/l/n. She's just..." Eddie turned to look at me, "so beautiful."
"Mm-hm, she's also my little girl, so mind your manners." My dad held out his hand to Eddie, which he shook happily and with much relief. "You clean up nice, Eddie."
"Thanks, Mr. Y/l/n." They smiled before my dad clapped Eddie's shoulder in approval.
"Oh, get outta the way. Let me take a look at you, Eddie." My mom cupped his cheeks and gave him a once-over. "You look so handsome."
She trapped him in a hug, kissed him on the cheek, pulled back, and smiled.
"Thank you, Mrs. Y/l/n."
He kissed my mom's hand, making her blush, and then she ran to her next victim.
"Gareth Emerson, get your butt over here! Ooo, and who is this pretty lady?"
My mom's voice trailed off and Eddie and I laughed, focusing on each other. After several minutes of socializing and more pictures, I reminded my parents that we were all spending the night at Steve's, and then we finally made our way inside the limos and headed to Hawkins Hall.
~~~~~
The prying eyes were everywhere, but to our surprise, they were out of delight and not hatred.
"Bunny, is it just me, or have the jocks backed off lately?"
"Yeah, I may've had something to do with that."
"Oh? How's that?"
"Well, Monday was the last straw, so I told Carver that if he doesn't shut his dick licker and leave us and the other outcasts alone, the whole school would find out what he and his goons do in the locker room when they think no one's looking."
"Hahaha! What?! Are you serious?"
"Mm-hm."
"And how, pray tell, did you come across that juicy bit of gossip?"
"Well, it pays to have an ex-jock as a friend."
"Wha... Harrington told you this?!"
"That I did, my good man." Steve appeared out of nowhere and clapped Eddie on the shoulder. "Y/n came to the video store a few months back practically in tears, and I was pissed. I can't stand those assholes either, so... I figured that information might come in handy."
"Harrington, I could kiss you."
"Please don't."
They both smiled, and with a chuckle, Eddie patted Steve on the back.
"Thanks for the help, man. You're alright."
Steve gave Eddie's shoulder another pat and proceeded to escort Robin into the building. ~~~~~
I'm surprised none of us passed out from exhaustion. We sat only to eat. The rest of the time we were on the dance floor regaling each other with our moves.
Lucas was a break dancing and moonwalk prodigy. Dustin is a master at the worm. Max and El can replicate any Madonna move known to man. It was a fucking riot. We were cracking each other up with the more ridiculous dances, like me catching Eddie with the fishing pole, Steve and Robin doing the sprinkler, Steve, Eddie, Jonathan, Robin, me, and Nancy doing the library dance from 'The Breakfast Club', all the younger boys doing the Robot, and the lot of us doing the running man. Eddie even had a chance to flaunt his usual shenanigans, which meant dancing on top of a table. That was until Mrs. S. came over and made him get down. And me being a closet disco nerd was forced by Robin to do John Travolta's dance from Saturday Night Fever. I was so fucking nervous, but the cheers, and accompaniment of several other students who also knew the dance, including Robin and Chrissy Cunningham, helped my fear to dissipate. And of course, the majority of the student body performed Michael Jackson's Thriller. At the end of the night, to no one's surprise, Jason and Chrissy were crowned prom king and queen.
It was almost surreal. For the first time in... well, ever... there was no anger or animosity. Everyone in the building was getting along, and when it came time to leave, Chrissy made sure to find me and tell me how much fun she had dancing with me. She gave me a sincere smile and a big hug, but the strangest thing of all was when Jason confronted Eddie, but instead of disdain he offered a handshake thanking him for the entertainment. Eddie accepted his hand and congratulated him on winning prom king, and they actually smiled at each other. If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes I wouldn't have believed it.
When it came time for the after-party at Steve's house, Eddie and I took the opportunity to slip away and head back to his trailer so we could be alone.
~~~~~
We devoured each other like animals as we made our way through his trailer to his room. Feverish, sloppy kisses, lips and chins and necks, back to lips, until he pulled away, revealing a malevolent smile.
"As gorgeous as you are in this dress... I've been waiting all night to get you out of it. Off... now."
I did as he commanded, slowly peeled off my dress, and let it fall to the floor. My black lace bra and panties, stalkings, and garter belt were all that remained.
"Jesus Christ, you're stunning, Bunny."
Eddie stared at me with a carnal desire, drinking in the sight of my body, removing his clothing until he was shirtless. He advanced toward me slowly and started running his hands gently up my sides, and around my shoulders so he could unclasp my bra. I stood completely still as he dropped the flimsy article to the floor. He backed away slowly, his eyes glued to my tits. When he met my gaze I made a show of removing my panties, but when I tried to remove my stalkings he grabbed my hands.
"No... leave 'em on. The garter belt too. You're perfect just like this."
Eddie was breathing heavily, blackness consuming his eyes. He leaned forward to trap my nipple between his lips, sucking, licking, teasing each one in turn as I cradled his head, my needy whines and mewells filling the room.
"Mrrmm, Eddie... hyou-you're gonna make me cum."
"Mhhhh..." He released my nipple with a pop and straightened up. "Not yet, Bunny. I wanna taste you first." He gently cupped my tits and licked at my lips until I took his tongue into my mouth. "Hmmm... can I taste you?" He whispered his words, his hot breath sweeping across my face.
"Hhhhyes."
Before I knew it I was on my back, and Eddie was licking a slow, soft trail down my stomach. He latched his lips to the tender flesh of my waistline and sucked a deep purple mark into my skin.
"Mmm... you're mine now, Bunny. I can finally take my time with you."
All I could do was moan at his words. He kissed his mark, knelt on the floor in front of me, and pulled me to the edge of his bed. I could feel his hands, the cool metal of his rings, smoothing gently over my inner thighs, spreading them. I caught the sound of an inhale and felt his warm breath against my wet heat when he exhaled.
"Oh, Bunny, your scent... I need it all over me. On my fingers... my face... hmmm, my tongue. Look at me." I lifted my head long enough for his eyes to silently ask for permission. I gave him a shy nod, but instead of diving in like I figured he would, he lingered, took a quick taste with a flick of his tongue, and savored.
"Mgghh, Christ, that's so sweet."
The instant I felt his fingers slip into my folds I shrieked. His touch was gentle, massaging my thigh with one hand as his fingers barely grazed my inner lips and my clit. It was at that moment I knew that he was hell-bent on torturing me, teasing me, prolonging my pleasure until I was ready to burst. He wasn't going to give me what I so desperately wanted, not until I was begging for it, for him... and I would. I would do anything this man asked of me if it pleased him. When I felt the tip of his finger trace light circles over my clit I wanted to cry. I had a moment's reprieve when he stopped to lick his fingers clean.
"Mmmm, hhhhhh, Bunny, you taste like heaven... but if you don't stop squirming I'm gonna have to pin you down."
"Eddie... wh-why are you being so cruel?"
"Oh, Bunny... I've only just begun."
He blew a light stream of air on my clit until I whined, then he licked me gently from my dripping hole to my hard bud. I was thrashing around, trying to quell the sensation, only to have my thighs pinned to the mattress, by his strong, unyielding grip. Using the tip of his tongue he lightly teased the sensitive skin of my lips, and toyed with my swollen clit until I was sobbing from the pleasure. I tried to touch my sensitive nipples, to rush my release, but he reached up, locked his hands around my wrists, and held them at my sides so he could use his forearms to pin my thighs, then he flattened his tongue and licked from my ass to my clit. I screamed in frustration.
"Eddie, for fuck sake, please! Please let me cum."
He ignored my plea, continuing to fuck me with his tongue until he was ravenous. His pace not letting up as he devoured my pussy like he was starving.
"Holy fucking shit, Munson! Stop... please, just, just fucking stop!"
He halted immediately, breathing heavily. When he took a hand from my wrist to wipe his face, I made my move, twisting violently until I was free of his agonizing hold. I got to my knees, grabbed him by his belt, and pulled him roughly onto the bed, pushing him onto his back. I crawled up his body, straddled his head, and sank my cunt onto his waiting mouth. He dug his fingers into my thighs, the pain shooting through me, but I didn't care. I could finally get what I wanted.
"Mhhhh, Eddie... Yes, YES!" He moaned at my praise, sending chills up my spine. Fuck! The things this man can do with his mouth. I tangled my fingers tightly into his hair and fucked his face. "Munson... hoh... shit, SHIT!!! Hyou... you're gonna tell me... every dirty detail... about how you learned to do this... so fucking well! Fuck, I wanna cum for you!"
He moaned into my pussy. I could hardly control my breathing as small high-pitched whimpers escaped my lips. I was so close to the edge.
"Mhhhhhh..."
The vibrations of his moans, his caressing lips, and the flick of his tongue against my clit were making me buck even harder as his painful grip on my thighs held me steady. I've never felt pleasure like this. He was too good, I could feel a sensation so incredibly earth-shattering building inside me. He must've felt it too 'cause he reached up to tease my nipples, as he feasted, lapped, licked, and sucked at my dripping pussy. My whimpers were loud, shameless, and FUCK were they warranted. I was plunged into a realm of pleasure and bliss, and Eddie was the cause. I let go of his hair, cupped his hands over my tits, and ground my pussy against his face as I experienced the most intense orgasm in the history of sex.
"OhhhhhhFUCK!!! Oh... GOD!... Eddie, EDDIE... Holy SHIT!!!"
"Mmmm, that's it, Bunny. Mhhhhhh."
I continued screaming his name as he greedily sucked and lapped at the sticky mess that poured from my pussy.
"Mmmmm! Fuck! You're taste... it's so goddamn satisfying! Hhhmm!"
He lapped once more at my overstimulated clit. I tried to steady my breathing as I climbed off of him, collapsing onto my back. Breathing heavily he turned his head to look at me, rolled onto his side, and propped himself on his elbow so he could stare at me. His eyes trailed up and down my body, so I decided to tease him. He was in the perfect position to watch. I put my knees up and spread them wide, dipping a finger into my still-dripping folds. I coated it with my slick juices and ran a trail of cum up the middle of my body before raising my finger to his lips. He let out an adorable whimper before sucking it clean.
"Mmmmm... Jesus Christ... you're fucking intoxicating."
He shifted his body, hovering above me so he could trace the trail of cum with his tongue, then he pressed his weight against me, kissing me deeply, passionately before he got to his knees to unbuckled his belt. He undid his pants and pushed them off. Once they were on the floor with the rest of our discarded clothing, he leaned over me, the head of his throbbing cock pushing against my heat. He took my hard peaks into his mouth once more gently teasing my sensitive nipples with the tip of his tongue. The soft tickles were too much to bear, and I almost came, only to be denied. He sat back on his heels, his knees spread wide so his massive erection was standing at attention between my legs, but before he could pull me toward him I quickly got on all fours facing him and wrapped my lips around his swollen head.
"Ohhhhhhhhh..." he breathed out.
He started convulsing as I used my tongue to toy with his slit. I sucked his head into my mouth and slowly swallowed him whole until my nose was touching his coarse, dark pubes. He brushed his fingers through my hair, holding it back so he could watch as I took him in and out of my mouth.
"Oh, Bunny... uhhhhyeah... suck me, beautiful... just like that... ohhhhhh."
Still sitting on his heels he leaned back, braced himself on his hands, and spread his knees wider. I pulled all the way off of him before sucking him into the back of my throat.
"OH!! God...DAMMIT!!!"
I swallowed hard around him, releasing him to catch my breath, and sank again, slurping and gagging as he used one hand to hold my head, and I loved every second of it. When he let me surface for air his chest was heaving. I grabbed the base of his cock and squeezed as I vigorously sucked his tip. He sucked in a hiss, his breath catching in his throat, chest heaving as I started to work him faster. His vocals just made me more feral.
"Oh...SWEET JESUS!!! You're... you're fucking phenomenal... Uhhnnggg..."
My strokes and his breathing became more erratic.
"Oh, oh, fuck! That's my good girl, my good Bunny, mhhhhh... keep-keep going. Take me deep. OhhhhhhFuck! YES!"
With his fingers clenched in my hair and his cock lodged deep in my throat, I sucked his soul through his dick. His body was shuddering, jolt after jolt of sexual electricity, until he pulled my head up.
"Jesus Christ! That-that's so fucking good, hhmhh... but I don't wanna cum yet..... HOH! GODDAMN!"
His whole body tensed as I licked him from balls to tip, sucking his sensitive head one last time. When he opened his eyes he caught my smug smile, threw his head back, and started laughing.
"That was payback, you teasing fuck."
His laugh morphed into a heady moan as I trailed my tongue through his pubes, over the wiry muscles of his stomach until I was on my knees, teasing his hard nipple with my tongue. He caressed my head tenderly as I suckled before he forced it up and shoved his tongue down my throat.
"MmmHmmm... hhhhhhh. O-ok, I get it. I've met my match. Now lie back baby girl."
With his knees under my thighs and my hot wet cunt begging to be filled, we made eye contact.
"Oh, Bunny... you're so gorgeous it hurts. Are you ready for me?"
"Munson, if you don't put your dick inside me, like yesterday, I'm never speaking to you again... now fuck me!"
I threw my head back and whimpered as Eddie grasped my thighs and plunged his cock deep inside me.
"Oh, FUCK! Munson! PLEASE!"
I stared at him through half-lidded eyes, mouth agape as I rubbed my tits. With every powerful thrust I became more and more excited... and so very close to another intense orgasm. He used a thumb to tease my sensitive clit. I arched my back, my tits moving up and down with every heavy breath. He dug his fingers into my thigh, still teasing my clit as he continued to pound into me, willing me to scream his name.
"Oh... FUCK! EDDIE!!! Oh my God. I'm gonna cum!!!"
"That's it Bunny... take my cock. Wanna, MRRGGG! Wanna watch your sweet pussy gush from what I do to you. I want it all over me."
"Oh, that fucking mouth, Munson!"
"You mean this mouth?"
He wrapped his arms around the small of my back, leaning down to lick and kiss my navel, then he lifted me upright so he could claim my tits again, licking and sucking as he held me close, his course hair rubbing against my clit as he fucked up into me. My walls started to clench around him, so he laid me down and ran his hand from my tits back to my clit.
"Scream for me, Bunny... scream my fucking name!"
He commanded me, letting his head fall back as he fucked me and continued to rub circles around my clit with his thumb.
"Oh... holy shit, Eddie! EDDIE! Oh my GOD!"
Screaming, I clenched the sheets and a burst of liquid sprayed all over his abdomen.
"YES! OHHHHHHFUCK!!! I'm-I'm gonna bust. C-can I come inside you?"
"Yes! Do it!"
He slammed into me one last time and his whole body tensed.
"Ohhhhh, Fuck!!! God.... DAMMIT!!! HOHHHH, ohhh my gorgeous girl."
His fingers dug into my waist until he rode out his release and collapsed on top of me. I threw my limbs around him as he poured all of his emotion into our kiss. I was on the verge of tears.
"Munson... I love you. I love you so much." We hugged each other so tight. "Hyou... you can do that to me forever if you like."
He looked up, still breathing hard, and smiled. Staring into my eyes with all the love in the world, he brushed some hair from my face, placed one more passionate kiss on my smiling lips, rolled us onto our sides, and pulled me tightly to his chest.
"Hmm, my beautiful, raging... wrathful, Bunny. I love you more than life itself. Ending our friendship was the best decision we ever made."
•••••❤️❤️•••••
Thank you for reading! Be excellent to each other, and get your Munson on!
🤘
Freddy 'Boom Boom' Washington from 'Welcome Back Kotter'... Hi there!
Vinnie Barbarino from 'Welcome Back Kotter'
The Beatles 'Another Girl' video from the movie 'Help'
Your prom dress and mask.
#eddie munson#eddie munson smut#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson fandom#eddie stranger things#stranger things fanfiction#stranger things#angst#eddie munson fluff#hawkins high#stranger things au#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson x you#eddie munson x female reader#friends to lovers#mutual pining#Eddie Munson prom#18+ mdni#mdni#gareth emerson#jeff stranger things#Doug stranger things#dustin henderson#mike wheeler#steve harrington#robin buckley#max mayfield#lucas sinclair#nancy wheeler
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This is a broad one, so take it whatever direction you wish: what are five shows, actors, or creative teams that have exceeded your expectations or pleasantly surprised you?
WOW. I struggle with broad asks because there's so much I like and think about.
Nadao Bangkok
I loved Nadao Bangkok so much. I had basically only engaged with really stylish Thai movies and media before BL. It's the kind of stuff you see at film festivals. I was not really used to the quick and efficient production processes and talent pools of the TV show production of BLs. I adapted, but it was such a relief to watch things like Project S, I Told Sunset About You, I Promised You the Moon, and Great Men Academy. I also just adore the talent they cultivated and how so many Nadao alums are still doing things in entertainment. They really did something special there.
Koisenu Futari (2022)
We talk so much about about representation and wanting to see more kinds of stories. I really loved the way this story explored the spectrum of asexuality alongside loneliness and the search for companionship. I love that it's a story about people who all care about each other, but they are all out of alignment for various reasons. I love that so many of the relationships don't resolve in a way that pairs people in an expected way. The sister left her cheating husband, Sakuko and Takashi don't live together, and Kazu was actually able to just be her friend. It's an unexpected delight.
For the Boys (2021)
youtube
I will never stop pimping this show out. Many of the folks are new to BL and queer TV in general, so they don't even remember Noah's Arc. I've been wanting more shows about black queer friend groups, and this show delivered. Every week I check on Slay TV to see what else they're up to. This show features a femme/GNC character finding their way through presenting publicly and dating, a fat black gay man struggling with body image and race identity issues, and a promiscuous black gay man struggling with his place in the world. It's a nuanced look at queer friendship, and I really wish more people would watch it.
Ossan's Love: In the Sky (2019)
I already apologized to this show once, but I'll bring it up again. This AU season could have been a real flop, but in some ways it's my favorite. I love doing an AU as a way to soft reboot your characters and dig deeper into their interiority before returning to them years later. I like Haruta so much more because of this season. I also really love the bonds between men in this series and the ways they push each other. It's really excellent, and this is a special franchise we have been lucky enough to return to multiple times.
Sherri and Teri Polo on The Fosters (2013-2018)
In an era where almost every TV lesbian died, these two delivered some of the best onscreen chemistry I've ever seen. They felt like a married couple for the entirety of a dramatic and often-messy Freeform (formerly ABC Family) TV show. We talk about Business Gay Performance (BGP) around here a lot, and these two are masters of their craft. At no point did you ever think these two actresses were secretly dating or cheating on their partners, but they were open about how much they loved each other and how important the friendship they built on this show was to them. I have immense admiration for the work they did and continue to do in the queer space. We are really lucky that these two took on the role of playing loving moms to all them kids, who got to also got to have a romantic and sexual relationship with each other onscreen.
Thank you for the ask! Since it wasn't explicitly BL, I decided to have some fun.
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A few people have asked me for the recs that come with my historical romance archetype quiz in full, and since it's been around a week and I've been procrastinating.... Here they are, in order of popularity (check your triggers, as always):
The Good Guy (by far the winning result... which saddens me a little as a reader but I respect your life and your choices):
Unclaimed by Courtney Milan--virgin hero, sex worker heroine, he's a genuinely lovely man
Scandal in Spring by Lisa Kleypas--a lot of people like Matthew Swift, I like Matthew Swift, there's a very good scene where she hides a key in her bodice and is like COME FIND IT
My Fake Rake by Eva Leigh--gender-flipped She's All That retelling with a nerdy hero who fake dates his equally nerdy friend while being super in love with her
Unmasked by the Marquess by Cat Sebastian--this blurs into a rake vibe, but the hero is a disaster bi who falls in love with his new best friend, only to find out that said best friend is not a man but in fact AFAB and NB; there is a delightful scene in which he watches them from across a ballroom while they pull their glove off with their teeth that lives rent-free in my head
Gentleman in the Streets, Freak in the Sheets:
The Duke Gets Even by Joanna Shupe--THEEEEEE PRIME EXAMPLE, "I'm going to cover you in bite marks, darling" Duke of Lockwood I'm your biggest fan
The Duke Who Knew Too Much by Grace Callaway--the one where the duke is like "oh my god girl I didn't murder anyone I'm just into tying people up consensually"
Waking Up with the Duke by Lorraine Heath--the one where the hero's cousin asks the hero to knock up the cousin's wife and the hero is like "I mean because you asked nicely"; SUPREME angst
The Earl I Ruined by Scarlett Peckham--uptight earl is slandered by the heroine who insinuates that he likes submitting in the bedroom; incorrect, he actually wants to tie her tf up
The Truth About Cads and Dukes by Elisa Braden--marriage of convenience with the world's most uptight duke and a heroine who thinks he finds her plain and fat and gross when in fact he mostly just spends his time restraining himself from doing nasty things to her
Villain Recs:
Devil in Winter by Lisa Kleypas--because you gotta, though St. Vincent is a softer touch villain than some ("he wouldn't have actually... done it... riiiight?")
Duke of Sin by Elizabeth Hoyt--a kidnapping loony tunes hero who blackmails everyone, stabs freely, and calls the heroine the wrong name for like 70% of the book; he also stabs someone while completely naked except for his pink robe
The Dragon and the Pearl by Jeannie Lin--Tang Dynasty evil warlord hero kidnaps heroine to use her for information, then realizes he's falling in love
Shadowheart by Laura Kinsale--medieval assassin hero forces the heroine into marriage for his evil plot, makes her his apprentice in evil, then realizes he SUUUUPER likes it when she doms him
The Prince of Broadway by Joanna Shupe--hero owns a casino and becomes the rebellious heroine's mentor, but is secretly plotting to destroy her father
Daring and the Duke by Sarah MacLean--hero was the villain of two previous books and maybe tried to kill the heroine when they were kids, either way she's super mad about it but oops he's OBSESSED with her
Tortured Hero Recs:
My Darling Duke by Stacy Reid--hero has had to use a wheelchair due to mobility issues after an accident, becomes very reclusive and angsty, until he finds out the heroine has been pretending to be engaged to him...
Dreaming of You by Lisa Kleypas--Derek Craven was born in a drainpipe, named himself, and essentially was a sex worker until he made his way up in the world, now feels completely not good enough for the intrepid novelist who's stolen his heart
A Lady for a Duke by Alexis Hall--hero has survivor's guilt and chronic pain + a laudanum addiction after surviving the Battle of Waterloo when his best friend died... twist is that his best friend faked her death so that she could transition and live as who she really is, and now they met up again for the first time in years without him realizing it's her
Pippa and the Prince of Secrets by Grace Callaway--scarred hero reunites with his childhood sweetheart, who's now widowed and way above him in social station... but she's also tortured, and they come to find solace in each other (also: her old husband told her that pursuing her desires was wicked; hero DISAGREES)
Duke of Midnight by Elizabeth Hoyt--literally Georgian Batman, he is the night, also he has a home gym
The Duke I Tempted by Scarlett Peckham--super tortured duke who hides his masochistic tendencies from the world enters into a marriage of convenience with a woman he believes will reject him if she realizes what he wants
A Rogue by Any Other Name by Sarah MacLean--local man who lost his inheritance and land in a game of dice shows up again after years and forces his childhood friend to marry him so that he can reclaim WHAT IS HIS!!! (both the estate and her)
Rake Recs:
Nine Rules to Break When Romancing a Rake by Sarah MacLean--prototypical rake book, Ralston is all "my God woman, binding your breasts is a crime and I am here to save them"
The Duke and the Lady in Red by Lorraine Heath--this guy's mom literally shows up at his house and is like "please tell me you've cleaned this place since the last orgy"; he then gets taken in by a con woman and learns how to love
The Lady Gets Lucky by Joanna Shupe--hero's not taken seriously by anyone because he's such a playboy; he makes a deal to teach the shy heroine sex stuff in exchange for recipes so he can start a SUPPER CLUB and prove himself as a Srs Person
A Rake's Guide to Seduction by Caroline Linden--hero is a ne'er do well rake who realizes he's fallen for his best friend's little sister right when she's proposed to by another man; years later they meet up when she's a depressed widow, and he brings her to life if you know what I mean
Indigo by Beverly Jenkins--hero is a VERRRRRYYYYY smooth rake who also helps free enslaved people in the Underground Railroad, gets the shit beaten out of of him and ends up being cared for by the quiet and practical heroine; and he's like "HOLY SHIT SHE'S THE ONE"
Scot Recs:
When A Scot Ties the Knot by Tessa Dare--heroine makes a Big Mistake and ends up having to marry the gruff hero, but it's only a handfasting so as long they don't consummate the marriage it won't be legit--SIMPLE ENOUGH
When a Girl Loves an Earl by Elisa Braden--heroine becomes obsessed with local giant man, doesn't even realize he's Scottish until she's trapped him in marriage and he drops the English accent and it is a RIIIIIDE for her from there
The Taming of a Highlander by Elisa Braden--heroine ends up having to marry physically and emotionally scarred hero in order to avoid testifying against him, he's all "YE WON'T BE ABLE TO TAKE ME LASS" and she's like "oh bet"
The Highland Guard series by Monica McCarty--medieval Scottish books "what if Robert the Bruce made a Suicide Squad and they were all hot"
The Madness of Lord Ian MacKenzie by Jennifer Ashley--widow heroine ends up in a FWB situation with the hero, who is on the spectrum and considered "mad" by many; then shit gets complicated
When a Girl Loves an Earl by Stacy Reid--heroine gets pregnant by another man and runs to Scotland to marry this guy she's been writing platonic letters to; he agrees to claim her baby; hero is mute and they communicate through written notes at first, but the heroine learns sign language to make it easier for him, super emotional
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Content warning for talking about nsfw topics and mention of suibaiting
I use the term 'schizo' here as a shortening of 'schizophrenia' this is just for ease of writing as I'm mentally exaughsted. I do not condone people using the term 'schizo' if they're not schizophrenic.
Okay I'm far calmer now but I feel this needs to be stated because I genuinely can't believe so many are tolerating this behavior.
Minors SHOULD NOT be posting kink art, at all. Especially they shouldn't be showing it to other minors regardless of if the work is 'sfw'.
The fact I've seen several people tolerating a minor making inflation and weight gain content and calling those against it fatphobic genuinely disgusts me. A person is not fat phobic for criticizing a kid making kink content.
The excuse that it was just comfort stuff doesn't work either because not only were hastags for the kinks themselves used, but an art piece reposted on that account was actual genuine fat fetish artwork. Terms like Vore, and talking about wanting to make a vore piece were also mentioned. Vore is inherently a kink and exclusively a kink for being eaten alive. Kinks themselves can be coping mechanisms so trying to claim it is such doesn't change that it was kink content. Regardless you would've been actively putting yourself in harms way for creeps who did view it sexually to interact with you.
Lilith you, and your friends, actively were harassing Haz for criticizing(justifiably) vaguely what you were doing. I especially do not like how you actively tried to paint an anonymous person sending asks that can be literally anyone, hell can literally be you because you can send anon asks to yourself, as if the Anon was Haz with literally 0 proof. I'm genuinely pissed that you only apologized to me, which you did after I made it clear to you I DO NOT WANT an apology from you as I WOULD NOT forgive you. I especially won't forgive you after you attempted to suibaited me to attempt to guilt me into forgiving you. The timing of that post being MINUTES after I told you explicitly to leave me alone for like the 5th time and that I just calmed down from a panic attack makes me come to that conclusion that was what you were actively doing.
I could genuinely be misinterpreting but this is still how that came off.
I am schizophrenic, I'm public about this fact, you knew this fact. For those who don't know, Schizo is not just seeing things. Its a disorder that severe paranoia, delusions, etc. Stress induced episodes are possible.
Your actions already triggered my paranoia really badly. Especially after the suibaiting, Suicide is already a massive trigger for me.
I genuinely cannot believe some of you are supporting a person who actively already harassed one person and spread a blatant lie about them, that posting fetish content knowing it will be seen as such, but also actively was triggering a person's mental disorder ignoring the person's pleads to be left alone.
Also DO NOT blame Haz for me finding your kink account for fucks sake. Haz was not why or how I found it, I found it because YOU reblogged it onto your OWN MAIN BLOG. Stop blaming Haz for literally everything. Quit acting like you're some victim in this situation. And get my god damn name out of your mouth. I'm not speaking about this any further and will go back to regularly posting after this. I only made this because this seriously needs to be addressed and y'all need to quit condoning this behavior especially since I know at least some of you are my same age or close to it. Deer Ragdoll you are not exempt either which is why this is being posted on twitter too, I know you're still on your accounts just because you deleted your tumblr doesn't mean I don't know you have a Twitter and can't see that you're still retweeting things. You both need to be held accountable for this genuinely disgusting behavior.
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Recently I remembered the ONE time another kid tried to bully me (this happened only once because I was homeschooled) and how he just... failed so miserably because I did not care and was not intimidated in the slightest. And I also may have changed the course of that kid's life. Bit of a long one just because I like telling detailed stories.
So the town I lived in was throwing a Canada Day celebration in the park behind town hall. And by park I mean it was a rectangular clearing in a forest. Anyway, they got a water slide, a bouncy castle, a guy doing balloon animals, a stage to play music that evening, fireworks, and my Mom was doing face painting. There was like around 30-40 kids at the event.
Almost every kid wanted their face painted, so my Mom was pretty busy that day. But this one kid around my age (9) was, for some reason, very insistent on getting his face painted before everyone else. When it was his turn, he was really unhappy with my Mom's job and demanded she redo it. And when she refused, I think he punched her in the arm (although obviously not very hard) and his dad took him away to give him "a talk" and told him not to bother her anymore.
A little later that day, he's just kind of brooding with his arms crossed near our tent. Then he walks up to me and asks if there's anything I can do to change my Mom's mind. I was like, "No???? Why would I help you? You hit my Mom!" I think he offered me all the change he had in his pocket, but I refused. Then he threatened to steal my lunch money or something next time he saw me and I said, "I don't even go to school! Let alone YOUR school." Then I pointed out there's other fun things still available to him that he could be doing, but chose to keep bothering me and my Mom. And he just... walked away looking defeated.
As the day went on I noticed he kept getting himself into trouble by being rude or trying to get into fights. Although the fighting thing didn't work out because, since we were in a big clearing with plenty of adults present, the other kids could just run away. I think he got himself kicked out of the water slide as well.
By this point, I was very overwhelmed and drained by sound, so I wandered off to a quieter area to enjoy an orange soda in peace. As I finished it off, the kid comes back and says, "Do you wanna fight?!" and I'm like, "No why would I want to fight you??" But he didn't wait for an answer and managed to punch me twice, but not very hard. Even as a 9 year old it didn't feel like a strong punch. I dropped my empty can and grabbed both his hands so he couldn't keep swinging and said, "HEY! If you keep fighting me I'll tell my Mom and your dad and he'll take you home for being bad! You've been getting in trouble all day! Then you won't get to hear the music OR see the fireworks! And is that what you want?!" He didn't answer, but the answer was clearly no.
He stopped trying to fight me and I let go. I didn't try to push him away or anything, I didn't even take a step back and simply stood where I was, and this seemed to confuse him. Like he was anticipating that I would want some kind of revenge or want to "win" the fight. But truly I did not want to hurt him, I didn't even dislike him. I had also had bad days where I wanted to fight everybody, but I knew that sometimes when you're angry you say things you don't mean and hurt the people that you care about. I felt he did not actually dislike me (or anyone else at that event) but was just frustrated and didn't know how to deal with that feeling.
Then he tried to insult me, but that also didn't work. It went something like this:
Him: "You're STUPID."
Me: "Well, I don't think so because I read a lot of books. I've read every science book we have at home and most of the ones at the library."
"Well, you're UGLY."
"I look just like everyone else?? Besides, there's not really any ugly people."
"Well, your FACE is stupid!"
"My face can't be stupid? Only our brains can be stupid."
"Well, your mom is FAT!"
"That's only because she had me and my siblings. Getting fat after you get pregnant happens to a lot of women. And there's nothing wrong with being fat."
"Well, your outfit SUCKS!"
"I like my outfit and it's comfortable for me to wear, and that's all that matters to me. You're the first person to say you don't like my outfit, most people like what I wear."
"You're so WEIRD!" (It was clear to me at this point he was running out of insults.)
"Well, my whole family is weird so that makes sense. We don't think there's anything wrong with being weird because everyone is a little weird. You're weird too, and that's okay. :)"
I had noticed that he didn't seem angry anymore, but just confused and trying to figure me out. And he asked very genuinely, "Why don't you care...?" And I said, "Well, I don't really know you because we just met today, I don't go to your school, and unless they have another event like this again then we're probably never going to see each other again. Why SHOULD I care what you think?"
And he looked completely defeated and like he had never considered this. I had laughed because it was funny to me how I couldn't be bullied despite his best efforts, then he walked away. I caught up to him and tried to apologize for laughing, because I didn't want to make him think I was laughing AT him, but he brushed me off and said it was fine. So I let him go on his way.
Later, during the mini concert, I saw him again with his dad. The dad had stood near-ish to us without realizing it, and I heard the kid say to his dad that he didn't want to be near "the scary girl." I was very confused by this as I thought I was very unintimidating and approachable. But it was kind of funny to me that he found me scary.
Hilariously, I DID see him again about two weeks later at a different and much smaller community event. When he saw I was there he ran up and asked if I remembered him. I said, "No, are you a friend I made before?" and he was aghast that I didn't remember him. Then I mentioned that I'm terrible at recognizing faces so this wasn't usual.
He had jogged my memory by describing what he did that day and then I was like "Oh yeah, I remember you now! :)" Then he asked with genuine curiosity, "Did you cry when you got home?" and I was like, "No? Because your insults didn't hurt me? When we got home we had supper and then I went to bed, just like any other day." This baffled him. He asked if I really wasn't hurt, and I once again confirmed that I was completely unaffected.
I think at this point his dad had come over and asked if his son was bothering me, and I told him that no, we were just talking.
After his dad was gone, I asked him if he was doing okay. He seemed very angry that day and I wanted to know if he was feeling alright. Turns out he was doing poorly in school and was also being physically abused by his father (which I was actually aware of because I'd seen his dad hit him on Canada Day). So I was like, "Oh no! That's awful. Do you want a hug?" He did take the hug after I convinced him that hugs are not inherently romantic and we shouldn't care if other people think we are dating because WE know we aren't, and it seemed like he really needed that hug.
Then he started asking me big questions. Like how do you just not care about what anyone thinks? Why are you nice to me even though I was mean to you? How do I become smart like you? And I gave him the best answers I could: Because other people's opinions are not nearly as important as they seem, because I'm just nice to everyone and you seemed like you were in a bad spot, and because I read a lot of books and watch educational TV shows. I even offered him some advice for how to manage his anger because he had said he got into a lot of fights a school and at home and always felt angry. I told him to just rip up a box or punch a soft toy when he felt like fighting because that's what I did. Or spend some time alone to cool down. And the classic take some deep breaths.
After that, we did the whole event thing that was happening. I'm pretty sure I did say goodbye, though.
I saw him another time a few months later, and he excitedly told me that my advice really helped and he hadn't started a fight in several weeks. He had also been reading more, was now taking regular trips to the library, and said his grades had improved a lot. Like, from getting a D on average to a B or B+ in almost every class kind of improved. And his parents even bought him an expensive toy that he always wanted as a reward. Most importantly, he said his dad almost never hit him now. I gave him a celebratory hug, because that's such a huge improvement and he seemed genuinely a ton happier. He wasn't a bully now, he was just a normal kid. And arguably he was better off in some ways than the other kids.
I hope that guy is doing okay now. I really do. He seemed like he just needed someone to talk to and who would listen.
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Simself Story
I went to the young woman behind the counter to ask her for help, bcs I got lost and needed a phone to call N. As I mentioned in the last part, it turned out, the young saleswoman was Damien’s twin sister, Diana. I met her already 2 years ago at a Christmas party. She was there with her brother & I accompanied N. at the time. That party was organized by their coach.
Anyway, Damien’s twinsister and some other girls, who were also there at this party with their boyfriends, were pretty mean to me. She called me fat & ugly or something. I just couldn’t handle things like that. I was/am very introverted and lacked self-confidence. Especially then, I struggled a lot with that! However N. got really pissed, so we went home. And well! Now....she didn’t remember me, which honestly wasn’t a surprise to me. I’m like a ghost to most people.
Diana: That's odd. I have no idea who you are?... Anyway, Twinnie’s friends, are my friends too. But apart from that, I'm glad to help.
Me: Twinnie? Are you really calling your brother Twinnie?
Diana: Don’t you know the Twinnnie ice cream? Green & orange? Damien and I were addicted to it as kids. He always got green, Kiwi, I got orange. We loved that ice-cream. Perfect for us Twins.
Me: Yeess, Twinnie-Ice cream! My sister and I also enjoyed sharing the Twinnie Ice-cream.
Diana: Cool! What's your name? But...is there something going on with you two?😏... And when & where did we meet?
Me: Christmas 2 years ago. I was Nico's gf. I met you and Damien there at their coach's christmas party. I'm Aleksandra. And I'm with N. here, not with your brother!
Diana: Really? You & N., huh?... I've heard of you, I think?... Anyway, gald to meet you Aleks. I remember being... trashed back then. I was........ difficult at the time. So yes, there’s a lot I don’t remember clearly.
Me: Hm, same!🫤 I mean, I don’t drink. I did.... something..... else. However, I understand all too well what you mean. Still, you were pretty mean to me that night. You were mocking me. You called me ugly & fat! 😒
Diana: What? Oh nooo! I'm so sorry, Aleks. Ugh, I was such a bitch, damn it! 🤦♀️ ... Those.... rich girls, you know? I wanted to fit in. I did and acted as they did, to make them like me. But they were all so fake. I-.... I didn't like myself anymore. That's why I-... anyway. I'm so sorry. You're not ugly. You're actually really pretty.
Me: I... didn’t expect, that! And I thought those girls would follow you and do what you say?.... Agh, who cares. I don't give a shit about them. But thank you for your nice apology. I'm glad you're not really a mean girl. Is that why you dated David, that loser?
Diana: Pls don’t mention David. My brother's gonna kill me....David broke his wrist and Nico’s nose. 😄
Me: WTF?... He broke N.'s nose?🤨
Diana: Yes! I was there. I saw it! Nico’s nose’s been a bit crooked, since that fight between him & David. Didn’t you notice that?... But well, Nico got what he deserved. He also hurt David pretty badly.
Me: But Nico’s nose looks as usual... Agh, let's not talk about the past.
Diana: Okay!... I'm gonna call Damien to tell him you're here.
Me: Thanks. 🙁
Diana: They’ll be there in 2 minutes! They’ve already been looking for you.
Me: That means, N. trusts me.🙂 He didn’t think I left without him.
Diana: Huh?... What happened to Stephanie? Since when did you and N. get back together? OH, shit! 🤦♀️Sorry! Do you even know Steph, that weirdo? 😬 👉👈
Me: Yea, she's truly a weirdo. 😜 Our whole.... lovestory, Nico and I, is... a bit tricky. I’m pregnant! It’s Nico’s Baby. And I love him sm. I really do! I always did and I think he feels the same, but Stephanie.... agh, I hope Stephanie finally leaves Nico and me alone, FOREVER! Her brother married Melanie. Nico's sister. So Stephanie will always be....... there somehow.
Diana: Holly shit, you're pregnant? I can’t imagine Nico with a Baby! He’s just like Damien. They.... only have their damn soccer in mind. Their lives are all about this one thing, they don’t care about anything else.
Me: Um.... I know, but N. doesn’t want his life to be....just about soccer. He never wanted that! He always tried to find a balance. And he never really talks to me about soccer. He doesn't want to. And ngl, I'm glad about that.
Diana: Maybe that’s why he likes you so much? You are his balance. But still, N. & a Baby??? Damn, I hope this works for you two.
Me: Yea, I'll.... do my best. 🤷♀️(😞)
Then suddenly Damien’s and Diana’s dog (Tinka) came running towards me. Their dog was so happy to see me. She got really excited. But why, I asked Diana? She was sure, Damien told her to look for me. So cute their dog. Her name's Tinka. 🤭 Who would name a dog that?... Diana used to be a Tinkabell fan. 🤣🤭
Just after Tinka, Damien & Nico also arrived. They both looked at me... sadly? They seemed so worried. I was kind of ashamed. 😞
Nico: You ok?
Me: Now, yes.... I'm so sorry. That was really stupid of me. I had no reception near Damien's house. I called Ana. A FaceTime Call. That’s why my battery went down so fast. My phone died. I even left my umbrella somewhere. I was totally confused. I was afraid you thought I went home without you.🙁
Nico: I was rather worried you might get a panic attack and be alone somewhere. I guessed you got lost. Everything looks the same here. Those small pathways, the houses....
Me: I just shouldn’t have moved from the main road leading to Damien’s house, then I would definitely have found back.
Nico: I'm glad you're ok. I’ve really imagined the worst scenarios. Looking for you, Damien & I saw 2 overtrunded trees near his house. You’ll see when we go back. We really thought something might have happened to you.
Me: Ugh, shit. I'm so sorry.... But... are we ok now?
Nico: Um.... let's go home. Now it's all fine.
He hugged me and we went back to the house. Nico seemed depressed. Something was not okay. I felt so bad about him. So I told him, I didn’t want to go home. I wanted to stay with him. But he just said I should rest a bit. I was so broken from last night. We slept some hours in Damien's bedroom. We were really just sleeping. Nothing happened between N & me. He was distant, he didn’t even kiss me or anything. Which is totally unusual and strange for him or us. Tbh... it worried me. I was insecure. That’s not how we both imagined our date.
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Without the Sun- a Nico Di Angelo GT Fanfiction
I. Undead Mice Bring Me Kit-Kats
First/previous/next
It's just a crush, how bad could it be? This was my mindset before everything went wrong. If you think this book will be some kind of sweet sappy romance novel, then by all means close it and go back to whatever you were doing before you decided to read it. Mine is a story that you probably don't want to read. Honestly I wouldn't even be writing it if it wasn't that i felt it was absolutely necessary to inform the young of my kind of the woes they will endure. You may be thinking "Oh please, you cant have it all that bad, your just a kid" and only the ladder would be correct. You see, I'm not just any kid, oh no, I'm worse, and I've gone through things I can guarantee that you've never even imagined. So turn back, look away, unless you want to go through the rollercoaster of emotions that is my life.
My name is Nico Di Angelo, and this is the story of how I lived, when everyone I loved died. It all started about two weeks ago. The people previously living in my house decided to move out suddenly for no apparent reason.
My mom later found out that they had been evicted which, basically means that they weren't paying to stay there anymore and had to be kicked out. I had asked my mom why we weren't evicted. You see, we don't technically pay to live in this house. In fact, the owners don't even know we exist. No, we aren't ghosts, though those also live here, we are Borrowers.
Let me explain, we Borrowers are tiny people about as tall as your finger, we live in the walls and borrow things you won't miss. And yes, I already asked my mom if it was counted as stealing. The answer is no because its so small you won't even notice, so don't get petty.
Anyway, I had been out playing with my sister Bianca while my mom was out gathering supplies. We were playing that we had seen the human kids playing when we heard the sound of a car rolling up the driveway.
"Nico, we have to go" my sister whispered as she grabbed my wrist and pulled me into the nearby brush.
"Wait Bianca, I want to see what it is." I said breaking from her grasp as I ran to see what was happening.
I ran over to the corner of the massive house and peeked over the side to try and catch a glimpse of who was coming. A red '78 Camaro was parked in the driveway. There was an awful stench emitting from the car, like gasoline and burnt cigars. A fat man who honestly looked- and smelled- like someone who hadn't bathed in years, he had maybe three hairs on his head that were slicked to the side with globs of hair gel. I already didn't like him.
"hey sally, you and the kid unpack while I get the guys over to play poker, and don't be loud!" The ugly man snarled as he lumbered into the house.
after seeing the man, I dreaded what the others looked like, but to my surprise, the woman who emerged from the passengers side was actually really pretty. She had golden brown hair and eyes that sparkled with kindness. She reminded me a lot of my own mom, but bigger. For a human she actually seemed decent. Sally- I recall that was her name- walked to the trunk of the car and began to open it.
Then the third began to emerge from the car, I had only caught a glimpse of his jet black hair when I was suddenly. Tugged back by my arm.
"Nico, you cant just run for like that, what if someone saw you?" My big sisters panicked but stern expression made me drop my gaze.
"Sorry, I was just curious" I muttered guiltily.
"it's okay, but you have to be more careful next time." She looked back to where I had been "common, we need to get home before mom gets too worried" she said gesturing to the entrance near the sewage drain.
We walked to the entrance and bianca went in first, but before I entered I looked back and gasped. There all the way on the other side of the house, peeking out from behind the corner wall, was a little boy. The human child had the most piercing sea green eyes, he looked about thirteen and his skin was a beautiful hue of olive. He was staring right at me, his eyes wide as saucers, and mouth agape in shock.
Startled, I broke the gaze and quickly darted into the entrance. Bianca was not too far away from me and walking with her back to me. I shook my head and tried to act normal as I ran up to meet her, but I couldn't get that boys face out of my head.
"What took you so long?" She inquired as I caught up with her out of breath.
"Thought I-" I huffed "saw something" I took in a sharp breath "gods, why are you so fast?"
My sister laughed "its only because your so little, don't worry, when your big like me you'll be the fastest borrower ever" she patted my head lightly ruffling my hair in the process.
"even faster then you?" I asked eagerly, filled with a new desire to run.
"maybe~" she said before yelling "tag!" And racing off.
"hey that not fair" but all she did was keep running and giggling.
Once I finally got home Bianca was sitting at our dinner table happily slurping up soup my mom had made. My mom was working in the kitchen and she smiled when she saw me.
"Nico darling, could you pass me the Basel leave please?" She said, and her eyes crinkled in a warm comforting way when she smiled. I reached over to our pantry box and sorted through it until I found the Basel, then i handed it to my mom "Thank you dear, why don't you go join your sister at the table, your dinner will be ready soon"
I walked over and sat down next to my sister "why'd you ditch elite that?" I scowled at her.
"it was just a joke" she giggled "but I'm sorry or ditching you, I just wanted to show you that you're not faster then me yet" she smiled sweetly and I sighed in defeat.
"it's okay,just don't do it again k?"
"okay," she said.
My mom brought the food to the table and sat down, we all ate together. And for that moment everything was perfect. After I went to bed though I just couldn't get those eyes out of my head, something about them. They were striking like they knew things, so many things, yet still so innocent.
I tossed and turned for a few hours but just couldn't get to sleep. It had always been something I struggled with. Finally I gave up on sleep and walked out to get some fresh air. If I couldn't sleep i could at least practice.
The night air was risk and chilly, but not uncomfortably so. I stood on the space between thee entrance of our house and the grass of the side yard. I exhaled a focused breath and held out my hand palm down and focused on the dark aura coming from the ground.
Then it began to happen, a light rumbling coming from the ground. Small bones began to emerge and collect themselves together until they finally created a complete skeletal mouse, with glowing orbs where the eye sockets were.
"Welcome Prince of Darkness, how can we serve your highness?" They both spoke in complete unison which, yeah I get it, a little creepy, but thats just my life.
"I need you take me inside the house, I trust you know a way" I spoke with complete confidence. Now that I think about it, I was a freaky eleven year old, raising the dead and all. The mice nodded then let me mount one of their skeletal backs.
We set off, the mice were quite happy to be able to run again. That's one thing I've found about the dead, they are usually pretty cool with helping you out as long as they get to be sort-of-alive again. Though there was this one guy who kept talking about getting revenge on some Di-noi-ssi-us guy, I didn't really understand him all that much so I just. Buried him again.
We hadn't been going very far when I spotted my target, a Kit-Kat bar that had been dropped beneath the counter. I ordered the other undead mouse to carry it and they obliged, then we continued on. I really wanted to see that boy again when he couldn't see me. We searched around the whole house and finally found him in the room to the far right of the front door.
The mice helped me get unto a nearby empty bookshelf that had been recently moved. I looked down to the corner of the rom where the boy's cot lay, with him sleeping in it. It's not stalking if it's for research right? I watched his relaxed breaths as he dreamed peacefully. I opened the kit-kat bar as quietly as i could and began munching on it as I observed the boy.
In the moonlight his lips looked soft and his hair lightly brushed across his face. I sighed longingly, I wondered what it would be like to be his size, or even better, his friend. I began to zone out but snapped back to reality when I heard a sharp intake of breath from the human boy. I looked to see what he was looking at. Crap.
One of the mice was skittering around not a foot away from his face. I observed as he carefully snatched up the undead mouse, and examined it as it crawled around his hand. He giggled quietly as he tiny mouse touched noses with him. The sound was like the freshness o a morning breeze. A quiet sigh escape my lips, he was perfect. I wished that I could be in the mouses place.
"Hey there little guy" he spoke softly, and his voice was so beautiful. "Where'd you come from, and how are you moving?" The mouse didn't reply, simply sniffing his hands instead.
I rested my hand behind me but froze when I heard a crinkle behind me.
#gt#Nico di angelo#Nico the borrower#Nico GT#Percy Jackson GT#gt story#gt fic#gtwip#gt wip#gt writing#gt ideas#pernico#pernico gt
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"that ability to just modify your perspective and step into the context someone else is wrestling with and listen, that's such an upsettingly rare skill for knowledge workers and healthcare workers... if you ask people why they're struggling, you can fix it and build a better process!"
You might be interested to know that when I was in pharmacy school, those patient interviewing skills mentioned by you and clockworkcrow in that reblog chain about provider burnout were taught to us as a set of techniques known as "motivational interviewing." It's not really in the scope of the personal vs systemic interventions that that reblog chain is about, but one of the revelational takeaways that I got from learning them was the idea that the healthcare provider cannot assume that their goals for care line up with the patient's; sometimes, the patient really doesn't care about the treatment or its outcomes because they have different goals of care in mind, and eliciting those goals during interviewing (because a lot of the time people are not at all articulate about what they want out of life) is a kind of ongoing step one.
I'm also curious if you or the MDs in this discussion have ever encountered ambulatory care pharmacists practicing the approaches that clockworkcrow talks about? I ask because listening to patients, identifying patient-specific blocks to care, and addressing them was something we were taught to do in pharmacy school (because our program pushed us toward ambulatory care). But since I didn't go into ambcare after graduating, I'm unsure both how much of an impact it has/how widespread such practices actually are, and whether ambcare practitioners actually, on the whole, put their money where the educators' mouths are. Can ambcare clinics actually make a systemic difference?
Oh! I had no idea they taught y'all those skills, but then I don't actually think I've ever had a conversation with a pharmacist about meds beyond a perfunctory question about whether I know what side effects there are. In general I am not used to pharmacists, doctors, or other medical professionals like psychiatrists taking a lot of time to really listen to me. Some of that is probably that all my main health complaints are things that feel normal to me and some is probably that I am a chronic minimizer--like I said in that discussion, it's a coping method.
I have never heard the term "ambulatory care" -- oh, it's outpatient care. Yeah, okay, let's use a specific physical issue: I can't run for more than about two to three without finding myself unable to breathe. This has been a thing for essentially my entire life, and in middle school we did running with heart monitors, so even apart from the physical experience of not being able to breathe and having to stop and take great heaving breaths of air, I was aware that objectively my heart rate was going up very fast no matter how hard I tried.
(We are talking "run until you start getting black spots in your vision, then walk until you can just barely breathe again, and then run, rinse and repeat. Literally the only kid slower than me was excused entirely from running because one leg was an inch shorter than the other.) No one around me seemed to think there was anything unusual about this or that I was anything besides just physically lazy, so I kind of wrote it off until my mid twenties. I mean, I'd been visibly struggling with extended physical exercise my whole life, and no one had called it remarkable yet, but friends were telling me it wasn't normal to experience those kinds of breathing issues, so...
I presented myself with this complaint to a nurse practitioner who basically told me I was just fat and needed to exercise more. I pushed past this and was grudgingly scheduled for an ecg (normal) and a peak flow test (astoundingly poor). There was no explanation presented for the peak flow except that I was out of shape and needed (guess what?) more exercise. Tried a pulmonologist, who confirmed it was not exercise induced asthma (which I had been sort of hoping, because there are fixes for that) and told me I was basically fine.
I more or less gave up until a dentist idly mentioned that my airway was very, very small and told me that micrognathia was something I should look into: my airways might be occluded. So I went to an ENT, who also immediately tried to tell me I was basically fine but did grudgingly agree to scope my airways... and discovered major blockages from my tongue (insufficient room in my jaw, so it gets shoved backwards over the airway), my nasal turbinates (swollen almost completely shut), and I forget what else. It was incredibly exciting to have a reason.
Okay, I say, what do I do with this? Exercise more? But I want to do that, I just can't breathe. I was aware that there is a surgery to artificially extend the jaw; it involves breaking the jaw and encouraging it to heal while maintaining space between the halves. So I brought this up. He was very dubious about this. I asked for a referral anyway and was referred to a plastic surgeon. The surgeon was perplexed by what I wanted to talk about and had clearly expected me to have come in for a cosmetic procedure like a nose job. Eventually I got too exhausted to follow up further; I've been meaning to resume this thing for like six years now.
Generally, my experience of doctors is that they have been trained to be suspicious of patient accounts that don't fit a very specific narrative, and that they are impatient to get on to the next thing unless you are very proactive about your own care. If you don't have a condition in mind that you can point them at without making them decide you're med seeking, they are quick to tell you that you are just making things up in your head. There are a few exceptions but I cannot underscore enough how rare I have found them to be.
And they will all tell you to exercise and lose weight as a first line of response. Not that I'm bitter.
Now, actually working in healthcare, @scientia-rex or @clockworkcrow might have more relevant commentaries than I do. But my experience in this field has not been, to put it mildly, great. Let's not even talk about my history of psychiatric care.
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The Decoy
Robert 'Bob' Floyd x plus size! reader
Warnings: Insecure reader, hurt/comfort, fluff, kissing.
Notes: Always been the insecure, chubby fat girl, I know what is like to get rejected or being the girl where one of the guys had to "take one for the team". So i thought, if I've been there, others have too. It's never fun, but maybe one day, you'll meet a guy like Bob 💕
And thanks again ti @a-reader-and-a-writer for letting me use her awesome dividers 😘❤️
Words: 2.3K
Masterlist
Staring into the mirror one last time, you frown slightly. Maggie had convinced you to put on a sundress and why you had no idea. Never one to wear dresses or anything that showed off your body, really, this was so far out of your comfort zone as it could be. But Maggie had been very persuasive, insisting you looked beautiful and that ‘it hugs your curves perfectly’.
Recently moved to San Diego, Maggie was quick to take you under her wing when she met you that first day at work. And she had quickly become a great friend. Only problem? She was gorgeous, almost too confident for her own good and always so damn positive. Practically perfect. The polar opposite of you. At least you felt so.
You had never really had the biggest confidence. Teased as a kid, rejected as an adult, both because of your size. You’d always had a little too much ‘junk in the trunk’. People had insisted you were still pretty, but several guys had proven you differently, by either rejecting you or by choosing your friends over you.
So when Maggie had suggested squeezing you into a sundress and to go drinking with a friend of hers, you had instantly hated the idea. A night out with not only one, but two beautiful girls? You already knew you’d sit alone while they were swarmed with guys.
And it didn’t exactly make it better that they wanted to take you to Miramar, to this bar called ��The Hard Deck’. Apparently full of pilots and various navy personnel from the nearby base.
As soon as you enter the bar, you already regret it. Packed with men and women in uniform or civilians hoping to bag a pilot for the night, you felt like a fish out of water. You smooth down the dress, fidgeting nervously with your hands. Maggie just grabs you by the hand and drags you to a table where her friend is waiting. Giving you both a hug, she then smirks with a raised brow.
“That guy I flirted with last weekend is here and he brought some friends.”
“Uh, that's perfect, where is he?”
She points ahead. Following her finger, you find a group of uniformed people standing around a table. As you spot the very handsome men, you just roll your eyes and sit down. So, they’ve already selected their targets for the night, so now you mentally begin counting down to being left alone at the table.
“Look at those two. They are so sexy!”
“The one with the Freddie Mercury mustache and the Ken doll?”
While Liz looks horrified, Maggie just rolls her eyes, punching you lightly on the arm. “They are gorgeous!”
“Yeah, okay. They are. But that’s the problem. They know how gorgeous they are. They’re probably too cocky for their own good.”
“Just the way we like them.”
All you can do is shake your head at them. Okay, so you had to admit they were hot. Maybe this was just you knowing you’d never even be considered to be in their league, so rather just make it seem like you don’t care. Just to tease Maggie and Liz, you make a sound of disgust. Liz turns to you, smiling softly.
“Fine, who would you pick then?”
“None, cause no one here would pick a girl like me.”
Her smile falters, caught by surprise. Maggie puts a hand on your arm and just as she is about to protest, you stop her. She always does this, bless her heart, but you don’t need it tonight. You wouldn’t call yourself ugly by no means, actually having quite a nice face and a pretty smile, if you had so say so yourself. But the guys here, well guys in general, tend to choose the prettier and slimmer girls. So you were used to getting shot down.
“I know what you’re gonna say. ‘You are beautiful, I wish you could see yourself as I see you’. Well, I don’t and it’s okay.”
None of them answer, they just look sad. Trying to lighten the mood, you push away from the table, giving Maggie’s shoulder a soft squeeze, while shooting Liz a smile.
“I’ll go get something to drink. If I’m gonna watch you two hit on Freddie and Ken, I’m gonna need some liquor.”
They laugh softly as you walk away, more out of pity than because it was funny, you imagine.
Standing at the bar, you wait patiently for your turn. A huge roar of laughter from the pool table makes you look at them, smiling a little. As you look them all over, you stop when you see a guy sitting on a stool a little to the side. He’s swaying gently to the music, looking at what you think is his teammates playing pool. He pushes his glasses up his nose, before saying something to the others, making them laugh.
“What can I get you?”
You’re met with a bright smile by the woman behind the bar. You give your order and wait patiently. You look back towards the pool table and the guy with glasses is looking at you, a soft smile on his face. By force of habit, never believing anyone would look at you, you look to your side. There’s a pretty blonde with a radiant smile, laughing with her friend. You feel a little sting of pain in your chest, but quickly push it away. You get the drinks and quickly make your way back to your table.
An hour later, Liz is flirting shamelessly with the one of the guys at the pool table. His friend is eyeing Maggie across the room, sending her soft smiles, which leaves her giggling like a schoolgirl. You've only been here an hour and you’re already annoyed. None of them notice you or talk to you, so maybe you should just go home.
“God, can you believe how hot he is?” Maggie bites her lip, squeezing your arm as she is practically squealing. And as if on cue, Liz drags the guys with her to the table. Ken for herself and Freddie for Maggie. But then you notice the guy with the glasses following behind them. He smiles shyly when he sees you sitting at the table.
They all sit down, so they sit together in pairs, leaving you with Glasses. He is even cuter up close, his face really sweet and his blue eyes soft. He pushes his glasses in place, giving you another soft smile, before he nervously dries his hands on his pants. He extends his hand to you.
“Hi. I’m Bob. Well, Robert, but they call me Bob.”
“Hi Bob.”
You shake his hand while giving him your name, discreetly looking him over. Very handsome and polite. Not bad.
“So, ehm, are you having a great evening?”
Just as you’re about to answer him, you hear Maggie and Liz laughing behind him. They are all over their guys, looking like they’re 10 minutes away from dragging them home. Huffing in defeat, you realize what is happening. Bob’s buddies wanted to talk to Maggie and Liz, but she had probably insisted that they couldn’t leave you alone, so they had to get someone to distract you. So Bob here was taking one for the team. Of course.
“Look Bob. I know you’re only talking to me because the Abercrombie and Fitch models over there wanted to talk to my friends and had to get rid of me. But I’m letting you off the hook.”
You take a huge sip of your beer, already feeling the heat creep up your cheeks. This was so embarrassing. When you look back at him, Bob’s smile is gone, looking confused. Had it been under other circumstances, you would have loved for someone like him to hit on you. Always had a thing for guys with glasses. He actually seems sweet, but you don’t just wanna be some charity case.
“I can act like I’m going to the bathroom and then slip out. I’m sorry they stuck you with me.”
As you turn to get away, a hand softly grips your wrist, barely holding on as if he’s afraid of hurting you. Turning, you see Bob looking into your eyes.
“They didn’t.”
He gives you a soft smile and you find it hard being mad. He’s good, you’d have to give him that. Crossing your arms, you look him straight in the eyes.
“Oh, so you’re telling me they got the pretty girls, and you don’t mind being stuck with me?”
You don’t exactly gesture towards your body, but your tone is clear. How would a handsome and fit guy like him not want one of the other girls in the bar instead of you?
“I’m sorry, but… I think you’ve misunderstood this whole thing.”
His cheeks are a bright red as he searches for the right words to say, leaning a little closer to you.
“I-I wanted to talk to you. Hangman… or Abercrombie and Fitch 1” he chuckles softly, looking even cuter than ever as his eyes light up, “is, ehm, he’s taking one for the team.”
He laughs softly, looking so nervous it’s a wonder he even managed to say that to you. Searching his face, trying to figure out if he’s lying, you see only sincerity.
“Really?”
He nods softly. You can’t quite believe his words, thinking back to how confident Liz was earlier. But sure enough, you find the guy next to her looking bored. He smiles politely and almost looks interested in what she’s saying, but whenever she looks away, he rolls his eyes. Well, this had to be a first. You’ll never tell her, of course.
“How is he not interested? She’s gorgeous. And didn’t they flirt last weekend?”
“She talks too much.”
He shrugs a little and you can’t help but laugh. When the laughter dies, you look back into his beautiful blue eyes. Maybe he is telling you the truth, maybe he really is interested in you. You find it really hard to believe, but something in the way he looks at you, makes you wanna give him a chance. He really is quite handsome.
“Okay, Bob. Tell me a little about yourself.”
A few hours later, you’re sitting alone on the beach with Bob. Maggie and Rooster took off an hour ago, going to her place. You already knew you’d hear all about it tomorrow. As for Hangman and Liz, that’s a different story. He had actually done the old disappearing act, slipping out of the bar after a trip to the bathroom.
But Bob was still here, sitting beside you, much to your surprise. The last few hours in his company had been great. He was a little shy, not really talking at times, but when he did, he had been incredibly charming, sweet and had made you laugh. With each little smile, you could feel your heart flutter a little. And each time he would wrinkle his nose as he pushed up his glasses, you couldn’t stop smiling.
An hour ago he had looked at his watch, declaring that the sunrise was an hour away. You’d never seen a sunrise with anyone, so when Bob asked if you wanted to stay for it, you couldn’t say no. So that’s how you found yourself still here, so close to him that you could feel the warmth from his body.
The sun was slowly rising in the horizon, the warm colors breaking the dark sky. You feel a finger softly brush against your hand, before his entire hand comes to rest on top of yours. You swallow hard, afraid to look down as if it would break the spell. He’s barely touched you yet, but your body is on fire.
This is the single most romantic thing to ever happen to you and you feel like you can barely breathe. You wanna kiss him, but there’s still that little voice in your head telling you this is all a dream. Bob softly speaks your name and when you turn your head, he’s so close you can feel his breath on your skin. Wetting his lips, he looks just as nervous as you.
“Would… Would it be okay if I kissed you?”
Having lost all ability to speak, you just nod. His hand comes up to cup your cheek, gently pulling you closer. You almost moan when you feel his soft lips against yours. The first kiss is short and sweet, but quickly he kisses you again, pulling you a little closer. His other hand finds your hip and as he gives it a little squeeze, making you shiver under his touch.
As the sun slowly paints the sky, the warmth of the rays hit you and Bob. But the sunrise is long forgotten, the only thing existing is his lips against yours. Panting, he breaks away with a huge grin. And as you look at him, all doubts you had before are gone.
“Can I maybe, ehm, take you on a date?” he asks softly, almost as if he’s expecting you to say no. Grinning like a fool, you give him a quick peck on his cheek, before saying yes. He puts his arm around you and as you lean into him, finally watching the sunrise, you can’t help but feel like the luckiest girl in the world.
Thank you so much for reading <3
Tagging: @loverhymeswith @jakelcckley @wildbornsiren @edwardbaldwin @chasingdreamer @mmurdock85 @lucy-sky @fictionalnerdery @autumnleaves1991-reads @joalsglasses @srry-itshockeyszn @sparrows-corner @multifandom-fangirl4 @lorecraft @ouroborus-momento-mori @lil-medic @paintballkid711 @weasleywinchester @tipsykeen @lluckpng @blindedbyyourgrace17 @levylovegood @weasleywinchester @andshivroytoo @green-socks @weakling-grace @mayhem24-7forever @bandagesandloveletters @marchingicenotes7
#robert bob floyd x reader#robert bob floyd x plus size reader#robert bob floyd fanfiction#top gun maverick fanfiction#lewis pullman fanfiction
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I've been fat my whole life. Ever since I was a kid. And ever since I was a kid I've been mocked, bullied, ridiculed, insulted and even physically assaulted for being fat. To the point I ended up with an eating disorder and lost a lost of weight. Way too fast. In a way that wasn't healthy at all. But I still wasn't happy. Because I couldn't recognize myself anymore. And I felt like i was just doing this for other people. But it's just so hard for me to accept my body. It just feels like I'll never be happy with it no matter what
I'm so sorry we haven't answered this. I know that this is a triggering ask so I'm gonna add all the tags i possibly can followers.
I'm actually a lot like you Nonny. I was a chubby kid, then got my period at 10 because I was so fat. I had an eating disorder by 14 and while it didn't last long (the bulimia at least) I kinda got comfortable in my skin even though I slowly crawled back up to my previous weight I got diagnosed with depression and anxiety. So the meds they put me on made me gain weight (50 pounds in 6 months). There after I did yoyo dieting and exercising flirted with bulimia again but it didn't work this time.
I'm not telling you this to trauma dump. I want you to consider my age and experience. I'm in my early forties. And its like... part of the reason I wasn't happy with my body was because I grew up with magazines and tv and movies constantly showing me thin ppl.
i don't think I stopped yoyo dieting until the cycle of yoyp dieting made me hit 250 lbs (I'm only 5'2) by then i was like 28/30ish. And like I think what changed was that I was watching media with like Donna from Parks and Rec, Shirley Bennet from Community. And they were never made to feel ugly for being fat. It was eye opening. (spoiler alert even though I'm not black Ugly betty was like more of the same thin ppl are the only that matter).
I don't think I really got comfortable in my skin until I joined pinterest about 7 or 8 years ago and got fed a steady stream of fat people in cute outfits.
Its still hard to find fat representation though. And I started looking into romance novels with chubby and fat protagonists about 5 years ago. Most notably the Brown sisters trilogy. They're all overweight and they all have these handsome men falling head over heels with them.
But like its one thing to admire people on pinterest with cute outfits. its a complete other thing to actually shop for yourself and give yourself permission to buy cute clothes.
One strange thing that happened about 3 years ago was that I gained like 40 pounds and all of my boring clothes didn't fit me anymore.
So this time shopped on lane bryant for cute dresses and jeans. and torrid, and hot topic. I started playing with makeup. (before I had like a uniform of jeans).
I'm not gonna lie people will *always* praise you for losing weight even if its because you're literally sick with an eating disorder or having health problems. (a friend of mine who did belly dancing lost like 30 pounds like really fast because all of the sudden she couldn't process meat anymore everyone fawned over her weight loss). she was literally starving and people wouldn't stop cooing over her skinniness.
I don't know what to think about society at large and their obsession with thinness. I've tried telling my family that I no longer want to keep clothes from when I was 250ish and they're all like "oh don't worry you'll lose the weight!!!"
I'm like bitch please. But its exhausting having people encourage you to lose weight. If you want you can message us off anon!!!
*hugs*
mod laina
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"Hi Beth! How're you doing?"
"Oh, hello Zizi! Gosh, I don't think we were expecting company. Is everything ok?"
"Don't be silly, we're fine! I just thought I'd drop by, I have a casserole for you since you're about to have that sweet baby. It's made with the mushrooms Cooper found the other day, and all the cheese is made from milk from our cow, Betsy. It's really good for you and the baby. So much better than that processed junk, that'll only make you fat."
"That's very thoughtful of you, it looks... very healthy."
"Talking about that, have you made up your mind on the home birth yet? I mean, I know it's a bit unusual for you, but I really think a home birth is the best option for you and the baby. And I can help! I've done it before, I know what I'm doing. I used to help my Mama when my little brothers and sisters were born."
"I mean, I just worry about what if something goes wrong. What would we do? It'll take so long to get to a hospital from up here, we might not get a doctor in time."
"Beth, you need to put your faith in the Lord. Us ladies are designed for this, your body knows what to do. The only reason people always have doctors nowadays is because the government wants to be involved with our kids as soon as possible, and they inject those babies with all sorts of horrible chemicals, it's not natural."
"I understand where you're coming from, Zizi, but I've just always thought I'd give birth in a hospital, and I really want what's safest for the baby. I wouldn't get the baby vaccinated or anything, my mom never did that either."
"Look, I get that you think hospitals are safer, but that's just what you've been told. Actually, more than 97% of babies in the NICU were born in hospitals, so I don't know how you can think they're any safer. And women who give birth in hospital, and their babies, are 70% more likely to have intervention related injuries! I think it all could be avoided if we just put a little more trust in God, He designed us to do this perfectly."
"Really? How awful! All those little babies all alone in the NICU! That's just horrid. So hospitals aren't safer? Goodness, maybe we should reconsider. I'll talk to Fabian about it."
"Good! Yeah, they really aren't. You know, I've heard that some women asked for their babies not to be vaccinated or something, but the hospital did it anyways! I pray every day for all those sweet babies who have mamas who put them in danger like that, just because it's what everyone else does, and because they're a slave to the system and want to go back to work as soon as possible.
"I think I will, too."
#bethesda#hepzibah#fundie sims#quiverfull sims#fundie snark#fundie simblr#modest sims#satire#homeschool sims
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