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fellhellion · 2 months

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apologies for yosukeposting and especially incoherently but slowboiling in my brain whatever the hell was going on w him in kanji’s dungeon. guy who slingshots between some kinda fraught observation that this is so much worse for kanji because it’s happening in front of an audience (over like. freaking out about it), furiously asserting that he’s heterosexual, insinuating danger but then also being the one who volunteers to take kanji home afterwards.

It’s sooooooooooooooo.

#I’m naurt.#conveying it well.#but there’s some kinda something about which elements prickle his unease #exposure to the wider community #the topic of sexuality that falls outside of what is normative being introduced AT ALL #but he’s. not scared of kanji. he never has been tbh #I don’t think he would volunteered to take him home and essentially make sure he got there safely if he was #imo it’s more that like. kanji doesn’t reject the shadow’s assertions where yosuke would #and there isn’t a world in his sixteen (?) year old brain where you SHOULDNT do that lmao #if you’re a guy you like girls and you don’t get hugged when you’re sobbing your heart out etc etc #a guy’s a guy and when that doesn’t mean what he thinks it has to mean anymore that’s deeply uncomfortable for him to unpack #it brings to the forefront his own doubts and insecurities #and kanji accepts that in himself where Yosuke can’t I don’t think #doesn’t question a lot of time and builds his identity around it #but he can’t erase the questions people like kanji and naoto raise because like. it’s intimately relevant to HIM lmao #and it’s how he understands a core part of himself #even if that’s built on sand #congrats! you’ve discovered the patriarchal and heteronormative hegemony!#tunes talks persona #I think it goes largely unspoken and deliberately avoided with him but what kanji wrestles w in regards to conciling his sense of identity #to wider society is like. that’s him too lmao

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1lvaites · 2 years

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ppl will write villains and then be like mmmm i don’t like that villainous thing they did <3 and change it / erase it

#bla blah cAnOn diVeRgeNt but then like . just don’t write them lmao #i feel like ppl forget what . a villain is #they’re a villain bc they do . villainous things and those things usually (and SHOULD) conflict with our morals #and most of all : they play a role in an overall plot regardless if it’s in their pov or not #it is . in fact. doing them a misjustice and shatting on them when u decide to baby them and excuse their actions #or worse: straight up change and erase what they did so they’re ‘bad’ but nOt ThAt BaD #it doesn’t matter how much of a deep dive u do into them or feel for them #re: the darkling #re: joe goldberg #re: cat adams #re: love quinn #re: every mf villain i’ve seen someone take up on this platform #and ofc fhey do things that make u feel uncomfortable . that’s the point #but it doesn’t mean u have to like . write it or anything nobody is asking u to lmao #but erasing it is dumb as hell and fundamentally changes them #and their relationships with whom the harm is being done to #going back into thr gv rpc is just remembering that darkling ( who is still around lmao ) that blatantly erased his abuse and exploitation #of genya #i will never not be mad about it #like i write cat adams and i find the plot w reid extremely uncomfortable and disgusting #esp what she does to him later on #but that doesn’t mean i erase it lmao #IT DOESNT MEAN I MF WRITE IT #it’s just . simple as that #edit: and i truly honestly don’t give a flying fck if it’s ’ur portrayal’ ur just weird

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blackhairedjjun · 2 months

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the yearning club - c.bg

pairing: choi beomgyu x gn reader | genre / tropes: fluff, only a little bit of angst, misunderstanding trope, implied university au (if you squint), best friends to lovers, kissing in the rain | word count: 921 | warnings: none, this is just unbelievably cheesy lmao

part of my 300 followers event (event masterlist)

prompt - RAIN: sender reveals their love for the receiver while they’re both standing outside in the pouring rain. (requested by @boba-beom: “a misunderstanding(?) trope where you and gyu were becoming distant because you thought he was seeing someone but it was just a friend and he confesses to you outside your house in the rain”)

author's notes: hi smiles! this request is so classic romance aaaa sdklfjksldf i got a little carried away w this! but this was very fun to write, i hope you like it <3

the rain pours unceasingly outside your bedroom window, the sound like white noise. it nearly drowns out the playlist you’re listening to through cheap earbuds, the music itself already muffled from the duvet you wrapped around yourself in bed. still, the noise doesn’t drown out the thoughts you’re trying to distract yourself from.

it’s useless to worry, your rational side says. beomgyu and yui would have canceled their plans anyway because of the rain.

but what if they decided to move their date indoors? your heart objects. or they could be dancing in the rain together...

you curl up into yourself and screw your eyes shut, listening to the playlist beomgyu made for you. though you try not to imagine your best friend 一 the same best friend you’ve been in love with for as long as you can remember 一 dancing in the rain with the friend who said she would ask him out, the mental image is hard to erase. it feels more real than anything you’ve imagined. even as you shut your eyes more tightly, you can practically hear beomgyu’s voice.

the voice is a little too real...

“y/n!”

you jolt up from your bed when you realize that you can, in fact, hear beomgyu screaming your name through the downpour. you rush out of your room, forgetting to grab an umbrella, and throw your door open to find him indeed out in the street, so drenched that his hair and clothes cling to his form.

“beomgyu?!”

“y/n! you heard me!” despite being soaked and shivering in the rain, beomgyu looks radiant. his smile spreads across his whole face, his eyes lighting up at the sight of you.

“are you crazy?! it’s raining! you’re drenched, gyu!”

“i’m sorry, y/n! i couldn’t wait any longer! i 一 i have to tell you something!”

“you couldn’t just call me?!”

“no, this is important!”

you run out into the street yourself, not caring about the rain soaking every inch of your skin and clothes, and grab beomgyu by the shoulders. “whatever it is, you can do it insi一”

“i love you!”

he’s still smiling like a lovestruck fool. the rainfall does nothing to hide the shine in his eyes, nor the blush that starts to spread across his face. somehow he’s shimmering in the rain, and despite the wet locks of hair clinging to his forehead he looks beautiful.

“i love you,” he says again. his voice is quieter but somehow louder that the torrent pouring down on the both of you.

you blink and your eyes go wide. you’re so stunned that his confession doesn’t even register in your mind properly. you hear i love you, i love you, i love you echoing in your head, but it takes a few moments for its meaning to sink in.

“b-but... yui... your date...”

“date?” beomgyu tilts his head at you.

“i heard her say she would finally ask out the guy she’s in love with. i thought that guy... was you...”

he tilts his head back in a long laugh, not mocking but relieved. your heart stops for a moment at the sound. the rain soaks his hair and face even more.

“no, she asked out that guy in her sociology class. y’know, the one she’s actually in love with.”

“so she doesn’t...”

“of course not, y/n.” beomgyu steps closer to your and pushes away a wet lock of hair clinging to your face. your heart stops again, and you find yourself gazing into his eyes. “yui and i, we called ourselves the yearning club. we made a bet that we would confess to the ones we loved at the end of this week, so today’s the last day.” he pauses and takes a deep breath. “and the one i loved... is you.”

you let out a giggle that turns into laughter, then just as quickly turns into sobs of relief. your tears mix with the raindrops, nearly blurring out your vision. “gyu... i really thought...”

“sorry i was too shy to tell you.” his smile is smaller now, reminding you of the shy smile he had when you first met. “i didn’t know if you一”

“i love you too.”

you wipe your tears away with the back of your hand, useless as the gesture is, and meet beomgyu’s eyes again. at that moment it becomes clear to you: the shine in his eyes is his affection.

your best friend’s eyes go wide and he takes another step towards you. his forehead rests on yours. “you love me...?”

“i love you.”

“y/n...”

you can do nothing more but nod and lean towards him.

your lips part and he takes the invitation to kiss you. his lips are soft, and you taste both his lip balm and something saltier 一 is it the rain, or did he cry too? 一 and you feel firm hands bringing you closer still. despite the rain soaking both of you, you feel warm, both from his body enveloping yours and the new feeling blooming in your chest.

he pulls apart from you just to gaze at you, and you feel your face grow warm at the way he admires your every feature. then he pulls you back into his embrace and the two of you sway in the rain, with you smiling into the crook of his neck. each raindrop now seems like a blessing from the heavens themselves.

you’ve never loved the rain more than you did at that moment.

#txt x reader #beomgyu x reader #txt x you #beomgyu x you #choi beomgyu x reader #kpop x reader #txt imagines #kpop imagines #beomgyu imagines #txt fluff #beomgyu fluff #tomorrow x together imagines #txt fic #txt fanfic #beomgyu fanfic #bhj's 300 follower event 🖤#bhj: violet's works

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briarmoon1015 · 4 months

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I think I’ve already confessed that I’m not a big birdflash fan, but there is something I really gotta point out because it’s bothering me.

I see a lot of people use specific comic panels to try and show how close these two characters are, but completely miss the whole point of the comic itself.

For example, I’ve seen a lot of people use panels from The Flash 1987 210, in which Wally reflects on his relationship with dick.

The problem with this is they are literally cutting out the next part of the page that explains that they have drifted apart

Wally is extremely different from dick, and once he takes up the flash mantle, it becomes clear that these two characters are on different paths. Wally wants to uphold the legacy of the flash, dick desperately wants to escape the legacy of Batman. Wally has a wife, three children, and a stable job. Dicks life changes at a moments notice, one minute he’s broke, one minute he’s rich, sometimes he has a job as a police officer, sometimes he’s dating one of his many red headed girlfriends, he’s the opposite of stable.

And that’s not to say the different characters can’t be friends or be together, but as this same comic shows, these two often struggle to understand one another once adults

Wally, after zoom caused his wife Linda to have a miscarriage, went to Hal as the spectre for help, which no one liked, including Dick. He is somewhat miffed Wally didn’t come to him, be he also sides with Bruce about how reckless and stupid the action was

He definitely empathizes with Wally’s situation, but he’s not really there to give support. Later on, dick does start to get the point, and the two take down gorilla grod. Dick apologies for his actions and both agree to stay in touch more. Obviously every good friendship is going to have some moments of tension and disagreement, but I think this really shows why Wally and Dick fell apart as adults.

And this really is the crux of why I’m personally not a big fan or birdflash. These two characters are inherently different and it’s so rare for me to see any birdflash content that acknowledges this. They can be together in a way that acknowledges and builds off of this, but it really hasn’t been done.

More importantly, I’ve noticed that to make burdflash work, a lot of fans completely erase Wally’s character to ignore these differences. His own goals, his own backstory, his own relationships, are just gone so he can be with dick. There is never any acknowledgment of the canon of Wally’s own motivations, such as living up to the flash mantle, or any mention of his connections to characters outside of Dick.

Even more so, I think erasing the presence of his wife and kids from his life so he can be with dick is really hard on the character. Linda is so essential in Wally’s life. She is the character in which speedsters learn the importance of having a lightning rod. She is the one to often push Wally to keep going. His kids redefined his life. He literally broke the source wall in order to keep them in his life. These are essential relationships that are just erased from Wally’s life.

As someone who truly prefers Wally over Dick, it hurts to see a potentially good pairing erase the good aspects of Wally like this. There is plenty of erasure done to other dc characters because of how popular the Bats are, and this ship, at least to me, is one of the worst examples. These characters are different, and often times it makes it hard for them to understand each other. Ignoring that issue doesn’t make the ship good in my eyes.

Anyways, I really don’t want to poop on birdflash as a whole. It is by no means a bad ship, I personally just don’t really like it. It has a lot of qualities that bother me. Despite all of this though, I do love seeing people’s art of it and I actually do think it can work a bit better when they are young and apart of the teen titans. I also know as a halbarry shipper I’m throwing rocks in a glass house lmao. But please ship what you like, I really don’t care, I just needed to shout into the void about my feelings around it :)

#the flash #wally west #nightwing #Robin #dick grayson #birdflash #dc comics

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leclsrc · 1 year

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hiii! could i request a charles fluff where he and y/n kinda have like some tradition that they do together or something. and its just special to them? like going traveling or even something ordinary like cleaning the house? sorry i'm a total sucker for these lmao

again late, so late, sorry! but i am trying to catch up w these olddd reqs hahshdhs. shoutout again to mack who live messaged me ab a grocery trip and inspired much of this ily. title from this

things lovers do – cl16

“And we’re out of limes, I think.” You say, humming as you review the contents of your fridge.

“Do we even use them that much?” Charles asks from the dinner table. He stares at the list, where he’s written the word limes. He holds a pen to the left of it, prepares to draw it across the word, but your own words of protest stop him. What—of course we use limes, you say.

“I don’t recall us making guacamole, is all.”

You shut the fridge, laughing and walking over to where he sits, wrapping your arms around him from behind. Together, you peruse the crumpled list, of words written and erased in Charles’ messy penmanship. There’s romaine, lemon, pasta, ciabatta. Assorted gum, because Charles likes to chew it while working. Coffee beans, because a day without them renders you half-deceased.

This is a weekly thing—reviews of the grocery list, on the dinner table with two glasses of wine. Anyone can love, but not everyone can sit and be patient and browse every last item of the fridge and pantry to determine what needs to be added. And through the list you’re provided with a window for the week: Monday night dinner with pasta, Wednesday breakfast with ciabatta, a romaine salad for Thursday brunch.

If you told your six-year-old self that your best memories with your boyfriend would be formulating grocery lists, she would pout in your face. Boyfriend? She’d ask petulantly. Don’t we get to marry a prince, with a horse and a castle? No, you’d say. We get to have a prince, yes, but he has a car and a house in Monaco. Is that good enough? If it isn’t, he makes a mean set of pancakes.

Do we get to dance with him at a ball? It’s still a no, you’d tell her. The dancing happens in the kitchen, lit only by the yellow of the stovetop range while you play Harvest Moon and sway softly to the guitar. It happens by the fridge, when a Bee Gees song comes on and Charles can’t resist holding you by the waist and lifting you up to join his dancing. It happens while you wait for toast in the morning, when both the bread and the weather are in the middle of cool and warm, to Al Green on the radio.

This love of grocery lists and airplane rides sure doesn’t live up to your six-year-old self’s fairytale standards, or your sixteen-year-old’s hopes of marrying Harry Styles. You think, however, that it far surpasses anything you could ever have wanted.

His voice draws you out of your reverie. “You okay? You’re a bit quiet.”

“Just thinking,” you reassure, pressing a kiss to his hair and smiling. “Of things.” Of us, of toast and tea, of romance and loving you and making lists and loving you and God, loving you. “Lots of things.”

“…Is this because I added too much junk food?”

“No, God,” you say, fond. “It’s nothing.”

“I love you,” he says back. And if you ever doubted it, there would always be limes, written without erasure on this crumpled list on the dinner table.

#f1 #charles leclerc #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc imagines #charles leclerc drabble #charles leclerc smut #charles leclerc imagine #f1 x reader

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alienve · 2 months

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Just noticed that the background of Vere’s drawings contain symbols of the LI, and maybe even some of their endings.

1. The crow feather (mhin cuz duh) but notice that it’s kinda directly on top of the plants, possibly symbolizing Leander b/c of the scene where he gives a makeshift flower to Mc OR could have something to do with the sewers being overridden by plants in the Amaryllis District. (lmao is that how you spell it??)

2. Top center you can see Leander’s knife thingy

3. Mid left is Ais’ bracelet, it’s also being covered by Mhin’s crown feather

4. The tea on top left (duh Vere) but it’s also green, I take this as it being bitter maybe? So maybe one of his meh endings

5. Mc’s key in top left corner (Could be Vere or Leander, maybe even both)

6. Kuras’ glass vials in bottom center

7. Kuras’ jewelry also at the top right ( so far he’s the only one to actually wear gold jewelry/trinkets)

7. Next to the vials is the nail file thingy and maybe what looks like a drawstring bag, have no clue and I’m probably grasping at straws but these could probably relate to background LI (Elyon and Sen)

8. The two rings overlapping each other at the top right corner of the page, possibly symbolizing marriage or some form and devotion

Also wanted to talk about the placement of some of these items starting with the rings

1. The rings are very close to the page, could argue this wouldn’t mean anything because the tea is also close to the page, but this just seems like normal placement (you have a refreshment while doing something a lot) but I think this placement is significant because it’s a continuity in the drawing of the LI Vere has done so far, meaning that the possibility of a romantic and whimsical ending is possible for all the LI

2. If Vere hates Leander so much, tf is his knife doing there? Bro really just out here stealing

3. The items directly placed on the page correlate to Leander, Kuras, and whoever tf that nail file belongs to

4. The lighting is very reminiscent of that one scene in the trailer when we’re introduced to Leander, suggesting he has a lot of significance to many of the LI’s fates, NOT to mention that his knife is the closest and directly in the source of the light

Then, there’s the condition of the paper and Vere’s teacup:

The paper is slightly ripped at the edge and wrinkled all around, as someone that is a serial eraser, this could mean he was either vigorously erasing previous sketches of Mhin, which makes sense because many of the sketches seem transparent, or that he’s low on paper and they’re in poor condition for age, but looking back at the bag, there seems to be a stack of paper in there, so?? I’m going with the serial eraser cuz that’s so real of him

And then there’s his dialogues of the sketches for Mhin and Kuras:

Mhin’s is more playful and teasing, while he doesn’t say anything for Kuras, there is mention that he was heavily bribed to draw him AND that the sketches of him were so crude that they were deserving of a whole other paper. I think this could translate to rightfully seeing Kuras as more of a threat than Mhin, and not wanting to piss him off ( as he already wants the mf dead) or that he truly does put his all in the drawings because of how much he enjoys handmade gifts and considers this such

That’s it fr (possibly lying)

*showing pictures sorry it’s out of order*

#touchstarved game #kuras #ais #leander #vere #kuras touchstarved #ais touchstarved #mhin #mhin touchstarved #serial eraser type shit #can we slander this man a lil more pls I love him

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yuesya · 3 months

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Mechamaru is a sad character, even though his anger at Shiki, to me, is honestly misplaced and more like self-loathing, envy, and commiseration.

It’s honestly sad what happens to Mechamaru because he did get the short end of the stick when it comes to Heavenly Restriction, didn’t he? He only wanted to have a healthy body, and in canon, he got it.

But what did it cost, really?

Because in the end, Mechamaru did in some way betray the jujutsu sorcerers. He can tell himself that he was desperate and he had the right to try and better his life when no one else cared to or was able to help him. He was in a shitty situation and tried fixing it first chance that presented it, but it doesn’t erase the fact that he betrayed his comrades. He indirectly (?)aided in the tragedy that happened by facitilating information to the curses, which HELPED Kenjaku’s plans, and he died for it. Here, he’s alive to suffer the consequences of ill-fated choices.

He wasn’t wrong to want it. He’s wrong because ultimately, his actions were an act of betrayal.

He feels remorse for his betrayal. He feels guilty. He feels angry at Shiki, because his gamble failed and here she stood as a shining bastion of a “perfect” life.

Though as seen in here, Shiki probably doesn’t give a single fuck about Mechamaru’s feelings. Only that his betrayal put the jujutsu society - and in turn, her family and friends - in jeopardy and that it went against the rules that Shiki was following ONLY because her family and friends wanted her too. Her moral and logic is pretty skewed, after all. Her first reaction to him being turned into a monster is to render him immobile VIA limbs breaking which honestly is NOT the first thing people do, but it’s admittedly in a twisted way the most optimal way to subdue transfigurated!Mechamaru.

TBH wrong is wrong. Betrayal is betrayal. Mechamaru isn’t an innocent victim who tried saving himself. How many more people would die and did die in the jujutsu world because he aided the curses? How many people died in Liyue because here the curses tried getting rid of Shiki?

Which brings me to another point: Whether it was voluntary or not, because of his betrayal which fed the curses informations and had Shiki hunting after them, Mechamaru ended up as a tool in the ambush against Shiki. Mahito tried using him as a shield, but unfortunately for him and the curses, Shiki’s reasoning is far too settled in pragmatic reasoning and logic to a certain point, after which she settled into brute force or death. She wouldn’t sacrifice herself for just Mechamaru, after all, nor be squirmish about breaking some limbs or killing some people.

Kinda shameless to be angry at the girl who you involuntarily aided in ambushing, no?

It’s just. The first time I read the short about Mechamaru (which was STILL amazing btw) I felt sorry for him.

The next few times I reread it though, I was like wait a minute, this doesn’t sound right, this guy is making Shiki to be the bad guy in interrogating him when he “just tried helping himself and he didn’t truly mean to betray the jujutsu society qwq!!!” because she has a perfect life but BITCH so many people just died LMFAOO Shiki here just doing her job and being hated, my poor girl (though she doesn’t care).

Mechamaru lost his gamble in using Mahito and turned into an even worse monster.

Likewise, the curses lost their gamble in trying to delete Shiki and were all basically wiped out in minutes lmao. They probably didn’t expect the Gojo Satoru Expy to actually be a Gojo Satoru 2.0 lol.

Shiki just doing her job, stuck in another world. :( And she had promised her cousin to make a detour to buy sweets, too rip. :(

(which brings me to another point i’m not gonna expand: Satoru and Shiki’s relationship? I LOVELOVELOVE IT!! The opposing powers they present! Satoru is not truly the sole “honored one”! Satoru has someone who somewhat understands the way he looks at the world! Who will stand by his decision and trust! Who’s willing to murder a bitch or a few for him! They’re two peas in a pod, sometimes HE has to be the moral compass for Shiki even! HIM! THE Gojo Satoru! A moral compass!!! 😂😂😂)

!! I am bouncing a bit in excitement from this haha.

Mechamaru! Is a very very unfortunate character. His attempt to outsmart Kenjaku and the Special Grade curses was not something that ended well for anyone. The information that he provided them allowed Kenjaku's faction to set up the test run at the Goodwill Event and break into the warehouse, stealing the Death Paintings and Sukuna's fingers. If we think about what happened in Shibuya, where Sukuna was able to cause as much devastation as he did because of ingesting the additional fingers... arguably Mechamaru played a definite role in allowing this situation to occur in the first place.

Mechamaru wants to be healed. He wants to have a normal body, and be a normal student of Kyoto High with his friends.

In exchange, he betrays the school -but he's not really betraying them, Mechamaru tells himself. Look, he's even been careful enough to extract a binding vow for his friends to be unharmed. And it's not as if he really intends to throw in his lot with Geto. As soon as he gets what he wants, he'll turn on them. Mechamaru doesn't need to kill them in order to win; all he needs to do is escape and find sanctuary with Gojo Satoru. And with the intel that he'll have in his hands, Gojo will definitely protect him. Then, they'll be able to counter their enemies properly from there-

We all know how that turns out in the end, though. The many casualties that result from Kenjaku's plans... Mechamaru might not be responsible, but he's certainly not blameless in allowing Kenjaku to set things into motion.

Mechamaru strikes me as a character who has a strong confidence and ego, which is balanced at the same time by a helpless sense of inferiority and anger. He knows that he's a powerful sorcerer, and he's the only sorcerer whose range covers an entire country -not even Gojo Satoru can do that! And Mechamaru is observant, and intelligent. He hates the limitations imposed upon him by his body, and he wants ever so badly to see for himself the world that he can only interact with through his puppets-

Shiki gets the brunt of that, in this particular AU.

Mechamaru lives. He lives, but he's angry and guilty and oh how he regrets, without truly regretting. Sorcerers are selfish creatures, and Mechamaru is no different.

Here Gojo Shiki stands in front of him, beautiful and powerful and perfect, looking down on him like Mechamaru means absolutely nothing. Given the turmoil that Mechamaru is currently experiencing... it's only natural that he lashes out at her.

(It's no excuse. But it is a reason.)

In contrast to Mechamaru's complicated feelings towards her, Shiki is fairly indifferent about him in return, despite his role as a lure in the 'ambush' for her. She simply protects him because she was assigned to retrieve Mechamaru for an interrogation. Shiki can't retrieve him if he's dead.

... So that just means she'll need to do her best to keep him alive, until she manages to find a way home.

#QA #zenith of stars au #liyue au #mechamaru #i am super happy at the details you're picking up here anon #and yes you are right on several counts!!#mechamaru isn't wrong in wanting a healthy body #he's wrong in how he went about it #he also overlooked all the other victims that would result from his actions #the guards to the warehouse who were killed horrifically when mahito broke in for example #i wonder if mechamaru felt any guilt about that?#there's absolutely no mention about it in the manga #which is either an overlooked detail #or points towards mechamaru being egocentric #or perhaps even similar to shiki in this respect -callous and unfeeling as long as the ones they hold dear to their heart remain unaffected

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spiderrmax · 1 year

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main 4 + love languages

synopsis: what i think the main four boy's love languages would be (giving + recieving) author's note: the first time i posted this i forgot the tags lmao. second try is the charm! also this is my first time writing for these guys so sorry if things r kinda ooc!

Stan Marsh

Giving: quality time + words of affirmation

Stan appreciates any time he has with you, even if it is doing school work together. He never finds the silence to be awkward, and doesn’t feel it necessary to fill the air with chatter. Sometimes you guys just sit there, scrolling on your phones, occasionally showing the other something. Stan doesn’t care; your presence is enough.

Stan would rather verbally let you know how much you mean to him, even if he stutters and stumbles around his words. If you’re wearing a new outfit, he’ll compliment it while looking down, ears red and hot. However, he also leaves compliments and notes on paper as well. If you ever let him borrow your notes, he’ll write small “thank you” and doodle hearts in the margins. Despite the awkwardness, his words are sweet.

Receiving: quality time + physical affection

Again, Stan cherishes any moment he has with you. Knowing that you enjoy that time too, and actively want to hang out with him again makes him grin like a fool.

Stan, despite being a bit of a wreck, really enjoys physical affection. He doesn’t initiate it often, but won’t stop if you hold his hand. He blushes hard if you ever give him a kiss before leaving, especially in front of his friends. (They definitely rip on him.) Any physical affection leaves Stan giddy.

Kyle Broflovski

Giving: gift giving + quality time

Kyle tends to see you a lot in material items, due to excessively remembering your interests. He’ll see a bouquet and think about how your favorite flower is in it, or anything in your favorite color makes him think of you. A lot of his allowance goes to buying those items; although, not everything is bought. He’s definitely picked up crafting, such as cards or bracelets, because he knows that home-made is even more appreciated.

Kyle also loves spending time with you! Unlike Stan, Kyle will plan out what you two are going to do. His mood gets down if something messes up his schedule, like rain or traffic; however, you always make it better. Kyle definitely googles date ideas. He might even have a pinterest board.

Receiving: words of affirmation + acts of services

Kyle can get insecure; sometimes the guy’s words get to him. He’s okay with taking his hat off around you, knowing you won’t say anything mean, but sometimes he can’t stomach it. So, he really appreciates any compliments you give him. Even if it’s something small like, “You’re looking nice today,” or calling him pretty. Yes, he knows it’s not a traditional masculine compliment, but something about you calling him it, so casual and natural makes him happy.

Kyle also likes knowing you think about him! He really appreciates anything you do for him. Anytime he’s sick and has to miss school, you always make sure your notes are neatly written so he can copy them. (He can tell based on all the erased words on your paper.) Whenever he’s had a bad day, you’ll bring him over his favorite snacks and a movie you rented. He loves knowing you think about him.

Eric Cartmen

Giving: acts of services + physical touch

Not gonna lie, figuring out what Eric’s love language was hard. However, his main one is acts of service. If he finds out someone is being mean to you, Eric will definitely get rid of the problem. He won’t even mention it either, but you know it’s him. He does a lot for you, and he doesn’t even realize. At lunch, he’ll grab extra napkins because he knows you forget too. He’ll send you answers to homework (definitely stolen) if you’re sick. If anyone brings this up, he just says it’s because he knows you’re incapable.

Eric also enjoys physical touch. Out of the four, he’s definitely the jealous one and that goes hand-in-hand with PDA. He has to be touching you, whether by holding your hand, or having an arm around your waist. He doesn’t give a shit if the guys rip on him either, he definitely throws shade back about them being single. He’s even more clingy in closed-doors; he’ll whine if you sit too far on the couch. He really warms up to cuddling after doing it few times,

Receiving: gift giving + words of affirmation

Buying things for Cartmen is the easiest way to get into Eric’s heart. You bought him a Terrance and Philip doll once and it sits on his shelf. One time Stan tried to grab it and Eric yelled at him. You’ll buy snacks for any movie dates you have, and he appreciates that you can remember his favorites.

Cartman loves praise. He thrives off your compliments. Even if it’s something simple, saying something he did was cool, he will think about it the rest of the day. If it’s a bigger compliment he will brag about it. “Kyle, [your name] called me pretty and awesome. Do you have a partner? I don’t think so.” Despite being deserved, a lot of the things Cartman hears about himself are negative. Your words are a nice change of pace.

Kenny Mccormick

Giving: physical affection + words of affirmation

Kenny loves physical attention, in public or not. He’ll hold your hand and if it gets too cold will put your intertwined hands in the pocket of his parka. He has no problem kissing you in public as long you are okay with it. He’s so handsy too; he will slip his hand down your back jean pocket. Everyone knows you too are dating because Kenny is stitched to your side.

Kenny also loves complimenting you. He will meet you at your house everyday to walk you to the bus stop and the first words he says to you is a compliment about your outfit. (Even if it’s a repeat.) If you do great on a test, Kenny is there calling you smart. Of course, Kenny’s compliments do get vulgar occasionally, complimenting your butt or any other physical asset. However, despite this, it is always heartfelt.

Receiving: physical affection + gift giving

As much as Kenny loves kissing you, he loves even more knowing you enjoy it as well. He only really blushes when you initiate it; one time you kissed him before he hung out with the boys and they could just see the impact you left despite the fact his red face was hidden in his parka. You rubbed your thumb over his knuckles one time when he was upset and he fell even deeper in love with you. Having you excitedly run up and hug him after you haven’t seen him in a while is one of his favorite things.

Growing up poor, Kenny has learned to appreciate the smaller things. Seeing you spend money on him, and being excited to hand him whatever you bought makes him so happy. On your first Valentine’s day together, you bought him a bouquet; he had his mother press the flowers so he could keep them in his room. It doesn’t even have to be a massive thing. You showed him a cool rock you found, it had been in the shape of a heart, and it’s still in the drawer of all the stuff you got him.

#south park x reader #stan marsh x reader #kyle broflovski x reader #eric cartman x reader #kenny mccormick x reader

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chandlermead · 4 months

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Lmao I’m going to be a bit of a bitch for a min. So just ignore this if that’s not the vibe for today.

But I saw a post that was like 2023 was such a great year for queer film, and it’s was three posters with like predominantly white men. And from what I know of these actors almost all are either straight men or have not openly stated they are queer. Saltburn, Red white and Royal Blue, and All of Us Strangers

There is a lot to unpack 😮‍💨 Firstly using the umbrella term queer, yes I suppose these could fall into that category, but the only three movies the post highlighted are all center around gay men. And once again these are for the most part not openly queer men IRL. They are just actors in a gay for pay role. I want to be clear that there is nothing wrong with enjoying these movies. It’s been almost 20 years since Brokeback Mountain (2005) was released, the impact of these kind of stories doesn’t hold the same weight today. It is okay to be critical of casting, stories, labeling, choices, etc.

With the addition of Red, White and Royal Blue, a romantic comedy, I would venture to say these three weren’t picked on the impact of the story telling and cinematic quality. Again, nothing wrong with romantic comedies, they are enjoyable, light hearted, easy watches, and there have been romcoms that have been highly praised and awarded. The point I suppose I’m trying to get at (if I ramble enough I might make a coherent one 🤞) is these feel like they were selected based on the attractiveness of the men involved. Why not just say something to the effect of “2023 was a great year for Hot Gay Characters 🥵” or “2023 Thirsty Gay Movies 🍿” I do not mean this sarcastically or in any negative way. I think it is more accurate to what the post was trying to convey and I don’t see anything wrong with that. Hot guys acting gay is, well, hot. We know that and enjoy it, and like to see it.

You don’t need to label these as ‘Great Queer Films of 2023’ if that’s not what you’re going for. And it is a bit of a disservice to a lot of other films and movies that can fall into that category if we use the term loosely. I’d say a movie like Bottoms, could fall into this category, it was enjoyable, popular and had queer characters. It was not included, maybe the original poster didn’t like that movie as much, but my gut feeling is, like I said before, that the list was more about hot gay characters.

Anyway, idk, you can choose your words however you like, I’m no authority on the subject. I just think it’s important to remember how and why you use certain words and the implications they have. Those three films do not highlight the breath of vastly diverse characters that embody queer films in 2023. I don’t think that was the intention, so saying those three films are what made 2023 a great year for queer film erases all those other stories and normalizes and reinforces centering queer topics around predominantly white, affluent, gay men.

I added some of my personal highlights from 2023 for Queer films. I even included a hot guy comedy in the mix, that is not sanitized for mass appeal like a hallmark movie. This isn’t an exhaustive list but I think shows some of the diversity in story telling and characters that makes queer movies and queer culture as a whole so exciting.

Edit* Andrew Scott is an openly gay man

#ramblings #and please try to be aware when you are just thirsting over a straight guy who plays gay for a check

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webslingingslasher · 1 year

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I'm craving angst right now. like I want my heart to hurt. probably sounding insane right now lmao. brb I'm gonna read your fics to feel the hurt. hope you're doing well <3

does this work? i almost teared up reading this, my brother is going through a really tough break up so this hits different (taylors version.)

You know what part of a break up they never talk about?

They prepare you for the heartache, and it goes beyond what anyone could try to prepare you for. It’s a pain you’ve never felt before, it was weird experiencing such intense emotional pain it caused physical pain. Everything hurt, your knees were wobbly but your feet felt like lead. Your head was dizzy and painful, your chest was tight and burning, your stomach was in knots.

It was the worst six weeks of your life. You’d never wish it on anyone, not even your worst enemy, no human should ever experience something that agonizing, ever.

But the real kicker, the real true gut wrenching, awful, excruciating thing about a break up?

Is watching them move on.

Nothing could have prepared you for the gut punch you felt when you saw Peter holding hands with another girl, the air left your lungs entirely. You clawed at your throat gasping for air, you felt like you were about to pass out.

Because it hit, reality hit.

Peter wasn’t yours.

He wasn’t yours anymore and you can’t pretend he would come back, he may have broken up with you but there was always that silent prayer that he’d come back, begging for a second chance, pleading that he didn’t know what he was doing, he didn’t mean it.

That would never happen, he has someone else now.

Someone who’s going to touch him like you did, someone who’s going to feel like arms tracing down your body like he did, someones who’s going to laugh at him like you did, someone who’s going to hold his hand and kiss his face and give him hugs and play with his hair and wear his clothes and go on dates and feel his skin.

Someone’s who's going to love him like you do.

It wasn’t right, you felt betrayed, how could he do this?

Doesn’t he know he’s not supposed to move on until both people fall out of love?

Doesn’t he know you’re never going to fall out of love?

You feel like you’re about to have a panic attack, how did he do it? How did he just leave it all behind? How can he act like it didn’t affect him too, like the meteor strike didn’t hit?

You need to go home, you need to go home and crawl into bed and not leave until you can mentally prepare yourself enough to see him, see him with another girl.

See him happy.

Didn’t he know you were supposed to be the one that made him happy?

He was the one that made you happy, you haven’t smiled in months.

Peter left and took your joy with him, he’s given it to someone else now.

You feel your legs move but you’re not in control, flight is taking control and you’re backpedaling out of the school doors, you take yourself all the way home and curl under the blankets, nothing feels right or normal or fine.

And no matter how hard you try, you can’t stop watching them hold hands, can’t stop seeing Peter’s thumb swipe across the back of her hand like he did yours, six weeks ago. Even the tears seeping out couldn’t blur the vision.

You wanted to text him.

You’d imagine what you’d say.

How did you move on so quickly?

Do you ever miss us?

Why did it happen like that?

What happened to us?

Did the love affair maim you too?

I haven’t slept since that Tuesday you ended it.

No, they wouldn’t bring closure, and you needed that, didn’t you?

You pick up your phone, his contact still has a heart by it.

The day you erase it is the day you die.

You give in, maybe if he knows how much you’re willing to change it’ll work.

‘I’m sorry I couldn’t make you happy anymore, but I tried.’

‘I know you did.’

You didn’t need to say anything else, he already did.

It wasn’t enough.

#peter parker x reader #tasm!peter x reader #peter parker blurb #peter parker angst #tasm! peter parker x reader #tasm!peter x you #tasm!peter one shot #my writing

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scarrletmoon · 7 months

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it's izzy hands it's kylo ren it's billy from stranger things it's snape it's draco it's loki circa 2012-2014 it's a REPEATED PATTERN throughout all of fandom of an antagonistic white guy getting a devoted fanbase that is both disproportionate to his importance in the story and also misunderstands the white guy's role as an antagonist. they think their mean little guy is a misunderstood victim and they base their entire fandom experience around him. and then in season 2 ofmd went and redeemed izzy before killing him off to further ed's arc, something that is a solid choice from a technical writing standpoint but from a fandom perspective it built the izzy fans up into thinking they were right about how izzy has never been homophobic, izzy is a poor downtrodden abuse victim, and from day one izzy has been a protector and the only competent guy around and a loyal and dutiful first mate. and possibly the most significant part is that so many izzy fans have accidentally and unknowingly tricked themselves into thinking that izzy is a main character bc their fandom engagement revolves so heavily around izzy that they forgot the actual show itself doesn't, so they were completely blindsided by a death that has been foreshadowed since season one ("im not dying, not for that twat and not for you" and "only retirement we get is death" and the whole "plumb the depths, man" sequence where izzy was talking to stede through a death shroud ffs). and i want so bad to just ignore it but we literally got a queer romcom centered around an interracial couple and an incredibly diverse cast and an indigenous main character and a diverse writer's room and the season ended on a happy note and it's all about queer joy AND YET. soooooooo much of the post-season discussion has to center around the white side character!!! even in death izzy hands takes up a disproportionate amount of the fandom conversation and im exhausted. it's every fandom! every fucking time!! this isnt anything new this is the same time-honored fandom tradition of white man favoritism YET A-FUCKING-GAIN and im SO FUCKING TIRED OF IT!!!!!!!!!

(i get so scared when i turn on anon bc i’ve consistently gotten such shitty, cowardly messages through it but i’m glad this isn’t one of them lmao)

i know i’ve said this 374748 times but the last time i made the kylo ren/snape/white villain connection on twitter (i mean that’s on me, it’s twitter) i had people legit furious with me for calling them nazis which………..i literally never said

and i get the frustration. trust me, I GET IT. the white villain problem smashes right into white fragility and makes it almost impossible to talk about any of it. it means, like you said, that we’re talking about a fucking white side character in cast of amazing, nonwhite talent, because some people can’t handle confronting the fact that whiteness insulates them from the realities of racism, and that their ignorance and hostility makes them active participants in white supremacy

(and it’s really hard to explain this to people who’ve been taught that racism is when slurs and white klan hoods, because then they’ll say and do the most vile shit and CRY or fight you when you gently try to explain the racist shit they just did)

and because fandom is very queer as well as very white, we also have to contend with the kinds of white people who think that queerness somehow negates their whiteness. that they can’t express their privilege in contexts involving POC. that we’re making shit up to be victims and to minimize their pain on purpose. and time and time again, i have had my queerness erased by white people, so they feel comfortable ignoring criticism i only ever shared bc i was hoping for something better

i’ve said it again and again and again and AGAIN that it’s ESPECIALLY depressing seeing white people close ranks in ofmd fandom especially BECAUSE it has such a diverse cast and doesn’t shy away from discussing racism in all the ways it manifests. like, most of the racism in the show isn’t even subtle and y’all STILL elected to ignore it? do y’all not feel ANY shame about that?

and some of them don’t! bc they think we’re infiltrators. bc they’re only a few steps removed from “they will not replace us” as they see more POC try to join fannish spaces. and they’ll pretend they’re not trying to push us out bc they’re marginalized in other ways — deliberately ignoring the fact that they’re also crushing their fellow queer, disabled and marginalized community

so you’re tired? yeah. me the fuck too. we deserve so much better

#scarrlet answers

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loverofstufflof · 26 days

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Airing out my LMK trailer/S5 thoughts cause u gotta do this somehow

Most glaring, animation. It’s not bad, by any means. I’d certainly be proud of myself if I were able to come up with it.

However, I think it’s important to consider the context of the show’s style, and how it’s been improving significantly over instalments. Also, it’s Flying Bark. Flying Bark is just gonna make banger animation.

Am I a bit disappointed when comparing it to Emperor’s Wrath? Yeah. Especially when we’ve been waiting a full year for this—twice as long as usual.

But I’m not saying I won’t be watching the show because of it. I still love this story. Fuck, my favourite series is Epithet Erased. The show that’s best described as JPEGs wiggling around your screen for 2 hours. I can handle less than expected animation if it’s made up for by good writing.

I’ve been seeing a lot of people attacking invisible fans that claim they’re going to boycott the show because of this. Respectfully, source? The most aggressive criticism I’ve seen is “man that’s disappointing ig, still excited tho”. Who are you guys even fighting lmao. (Unless this is something happening on other platforms and you’re just venting on here which, valid)

Nevertheless, as I’ve said before, it’s not bad animation, just not up to the standard we’re used to. People are allowed to be disappointed. Let them be. This show isn’t flawless.

It’s looking to be real, all things considered. We’ve never gotten a fan leak this elaborate before, and it contains a lot of elements that were just recently revealed. Unless they’ve been getting announcements much earlier than we have (considering this fanbase’s sleuth skills, I’d doubt it) then there’s no other explanation other than it being official.

Official, however, doesn’t mean it’s guaranteed to look that way the whole time. The animation is being done by another studio, yes, but only partially. Flying Bark is still here for the fun. This other studio also isn’t incompetent, they’re behind things like Carmen Sandiego. They know what they’re doing.

They’re also primarily handling additional material, means promotions, meaning trailers. Listen, it’s a bit of a stretch considering the fact that all trailers so far have been taken directly from the show, but also it’s industry standard to make a trailer before you’re even done, meaning you gotta cut some corners for the scenes you’re showing until you polish them up in post.

We know LEGO has a habit of keeping LMK things in their vault until they need to, this may be something they had lying around from early prod and released to maintain hype.

Any which way, this development is very much temporary, only applying because the team is currently working on a movie and need to momentarily lessen their workload. Even if the odds are against us and S5 looks like a PowerPoint presentation, it’ll likely go back to normal later.

Biiig animation rant aside, I am a tad bit sad about the direction the story is going in (namely the abandonment of Red Son) and the fan service is a bit much, but honestly what else are we expecting from JTTW fanfic.

I’m stoked to see more Macaque though—he’s looking to be becoming a proper protagonist, which is great for angst! Yippee!

One thing I haven’t seen anyone talk about is the complete lack of Nüwa. You know, the character they’ve been teasing this whole time? Where is she? Not in the trailer. Not in the posters.

Makes me wondering if this is a part of the new season, teasing the next one, the one Nüwa’s in, later.

#not rereading this for grammar or whatever my phones about to die and I need to post this #get my thoughts out somehow #WAAAA #hope I come across as nonconfrontational here I genuinely just wanna talk #monkie kid #lego monkie kid #lmk #lmk s5 #post!

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haknom · 1 year

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close call — park jay

pairing: bsf!jay x gn!reader

synopsis: having feelings for your bestfriend is quite hard. especially when he almost found out about it.

note: the way these images don’t match I gave up on finding some. but happy birthday to jay!! i was supposed to post this last night but fell asleep while proofreading LMAO // this is like badly written (i think idk)

warnings: jay’s a tease, lmk if i missed anything! wordcount: 840 words (lol..)

There were other students running around and chasing each other near the field as you pressed your back against the brick wall of the school’s courtyard. You plucked the petals off the flower you held while repeating the same two sentences over and over again, ‘I like him’ and ‘I don’t like him and never will because he’s only my bestfriend from kindergarten. And it would be weird if I had feelings for him because it could possibly ruin our friendship.’ Or in other words, ‘I don’t like him.’

Clearly, you were in denial. Your bestfriend of 12 years, Park Jay, has affected your heart in a way you’ve never felt before. Whenever he was around you, your heart rate would rise enormously and you could even feel your face heat up. On rare occasions, your palms would become sweaty and you’d fumble over your words. It was embarrassing.

He picked up on your weird change in personality but never questioned you about anything but there were some moments where he’d ask if you were okay, and of course, you’d lie saying yes. But at the same time, you weren’t sure if you were lying and also had no clue as to why you were acting like that around him until your friend told you, “You like him,” her words replayed in your head before plucking another petal hoping that your final results wasn’t what she was said.

You inhaled deeply, exhaling a second after, and began your plucking once again. “Okay, 47th flower! Please don’t give me the same results as before…” You pleaded to the flower which didn’t give you a response back.

“I like him,” you picked the first petal while mumbling to the point where you couldn’t even hear your own voice. It was an embarrassing phrase to say especially when it was about your bestfriend, but for others probably not.

You plucked at the flower a few more times before throwing its stem to the ground. “Gosh!” you exclaimed and stomped on the stem out of frustration. You weren’t supposed to receive this answer once again. At this point, maybe it was the truth. Judging by how you felt around him everyone would label it as love, right?

“There’s no way I like him! Matter of fact, I hate him. He’s such a tease and is also annoying! But then again he’s a great person…” You said while clawing at your scalp tensely before relaxing at your last words. You gained weird and concerned stares from a few students who walked passed without you noticing but that didn’t bother you.

What really bothered you was the familiar fragrance that surrounded the area you stood in during your small tantrum and made your heart race. “What’s up with you?” A voice from behind called out causing you to hastily turn around and be met with your bestfriend, Jay. The boy you most likely have feelings for.

“Oh! Nothing,” you shrugged in an attempt to erase the previous scene from your memory. “That doesn’t seem like nothing… Who were you, well, yelling about?” He pressed his hand against the brick wall with an intrigued gaze. “Hey! Is it possible that you like someone!” He said while emphasizing the word ‘you’ and bringing his face slightly closer to yours. “No! I don’t like anyone—wait what’s that supposed to mean?!” You exclaimed as he laughed at your realization.

In return, you lightly punched his stomach, leaving him in slight pain. “What was that for?!” He questioned with a hand over the injured area. “You were clearly making fun of me! Plus, it wasn’t even that hard! You can deal with it,” you said as he rolled his eyes and you crossed your arms.

“Who’s this lucky boy? Is it me?” He teased once more with the corners of his lips upturned into a small smile. “You wish it was!” You blurted while trying to keep your composure but this time he didn’t laugh like usual. Instead, he leaned in a bit more to the point where your faces were approximately 10 cm’s apart. “And if I did?” He asked while tilting his head lightly.

His gaze was strong and there was no signs of unseriousness. There was a possibility he was being for real or was just very good at acting but you didn’t know which to believe. Out of instinct you pulled a dumb move and ended the moment in a split second, “No chances,” you said, turned on your pivot foot, walked away from the boy as he trailed behind you.

“Then who is it!” He said, hoping to get something out of you this time but you shook your head. “Just forget about it! It was a silly game.” You exclaimed in an attempt to switch the topic. “Hm, fine…” He mumbled as you sighed out of relief. He began talking about a new song he’s recently discovered as you tried to stay put and not slip up.

It was a close call, that’s for sure.

PERM TAGLIST: @soov @redm4ri @ox1-lovesick @urszn @feeeli @taejays @hanniluvi @dakkisz @dimplewonie @ddeonudepressions @xiaoderrrr @ja4hyvn @mmaplepastries @essmarye @w3bqrl @jennaissantes @yenqa @yeokii

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thestobingirlie · 3 months

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I just really hate the "Reasons I love this character" *inserts 1001 headcanons that completely contradict who the character is in canon.*

It happens to a lot of the ST characters but especially Steve. They like him because Joe Keery is pretty and they like the protector element. But they hate everything else about Steve, so they have to make so many things up to justify why he isn't actually the person he is in canon. They just want a pretty face to project on.

It's happened a lot to Eddie too, which is how he has become what he is in fanon rather than his canon characterization. Oh, he's sweet and kind and caring and would never hurt a fly and is always judged by everyone and would never judge others for anything. But in the show he is a judgemental asshole at times, and there are valid reasons for people to judge him (the conformity speech, dealing, Chrissy's body being found in the trailer.)

Jonathan is an amazing and caring older brother and an amazing boyfriend and he is outcast by all the mean popular people. But he outcasts himself, he's a creep because of the photos. And he's not great to Nancy, but there is a communication issue on both sides there. And he's not as good a brother to Will as he's sometimes made out to be. The way in s2 he basically tells Will that he's wrong for not wanting to feel like a freak. And the way he treats Joyce in s2 over her choice to date Bob.

But so much of this fandom also seems to think that OOC means doesn't reflect widely accepted fanon, so calls Eddie in his first episode OOC. Despite the fact that that is his canon characterization.

your last paragraph is *chefs kiss*. a lot of people really do see the characters solely as their fanon depictions and are jarred when they watch the show and realise that is not the case. especially with characters like eddie. but even with steve, i’ve seen so many posts about rewatching s1 and realising that steve doesn’t actually do all the heinous shit the fandom makes out he did.

i think it’s really… interesting? weird? the way that fanon has formed around eddie and jonathan to erase their worst traits and moments, but it’s formed around steve to exaggerate his worst moments, and even come up with entirely made up ones.

this isn’t to say that steve doesn’t have negative character traits, of course he does. but not the kind that the fandom likes to think he has.

anyway! yeah, a lot, honestly the majority, of fan made content in this fandom is using steve’s name and joe keery’s face and that’s it!!! and it’s fucking annoying lmao.

and i think the worst part is that they don’t even realise they’re doing it. they’ve been so deluded by fanon that they honestly think they’re sticking to his characterisation.

#steve harrington #eddie munson #jonathan byers #stranger things #asks #anon

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monstersinthecosmos · 5 months

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ARRIGHT SO the context here was me and @madshelley having a deep ass conversation about how Marius must hate that there are people who knew him when he was alive and remember him being a fucking loser. ((Aided by he’s a scrawny weirdo, my child LMAO)).

(here’s a small 2x sample of how I paced back and forth in my kitchen talking with my hands about it)

And like this goes back to the several hundred times we’ve discussed Marius being a person who has sculpted an ideal personality for himself that he is not always capable of living by. ie: A patient scholar who wants to be challenged, when in fact he’s quite petty and holds grudges like everyone else and often loses his temper when he’s challenged.

So like I mean, I often wish that I could erase everyone’s perception of me from before I was 30 years old LOL, I’m sure this isn’t an uncommon feeling as we all grow and change. And taking Marius as an example it’s like, there are 3 people alive (that we know of) who knew him as a human and it must bother him so much to know that these three people have seen him at his lowest and most foolish.

It’s not even JUST the “he’s a scrawny weirdo”-ness of it, either, like that Pandora knew him as a wifeless drifter, but someone like Marius who tries so desperately to codify every single one of his emotions and who might feel shamed by his own vulnerably would hate that Teskhamen and Mael saw it, as well.

Like, Teskhamen has a huge asterisk here because ~turning the Dark Trick~ is such a unique spiritual experience, and it’s not necessarily “Teskhamen saw deeply into my soul in a way others didn’t, and felt all of my secrets and knew I was a wifeless drifter”; I don’t think those are issues here, and Marius in turn would’ve been able to feel the lack of judgment. Still, Marius is one of the characters who was turned against his will, and it’s a massive source of trauma, and he goes on for two thousand years without any closure about it. Mael fills that spot for him as the person to resent and blame for his turning because he doesn’t have a maker.

(I’m thinking also about how Lestat’s and Marius’s turnings were so extremely similar and yet Lestat bounces off into the world without needing to pin his resentment on anybody and Marius refers to his irrepressible optimism in QOTD and it says this in BCtu:

So let me begin the narrative on a night when Marius, the ancient Roman Child of the Millennia, in a fit of pique became impatient with what he referred to as my “nauseating buoyancy and optimism” about the world in general.

Ahjsdklg. Anyway like, without getting into a side tangent about it and bringing their respective mommy issues into the fold to compare & contrast it’s just really interesting that Marius isn’t capable of finding that buoyant optimism in himself.)

Sorry, back to the point about Teskhamen: It’s not necessarily about what Teskhamen might have seen of Marius’s soul in that exact moment, but also Marius knowing that this was like, the most frightened he’d ever been in his life, him at his weakest, and I just wonder how that balances out against the like Vampire Big Brain, you know? Did the vampire enlightenment kick in fast enough for him to forgive himself for being so powerless? Idk. Anyway, put a pin in this, I’m just saying, his turning was extremely traumatic and came after a year of being powerless, and on a night that his entire worldview was shattered.

The point with Mael, though, in the end, is like. They really did spend so much time together, and VC has a way of yada yada’ing huge swaths of time. Marius saying “and then I was captive for a year while my hair grew out and Mael came to me all the time and I tried to bargain with him to free me” doesn’t really fucking say it, does it? Like a year is a fucking long time for a mortal. A year is a long time.

And so like, how desperate did the bargaining get? How badly was he worn down? How many times did it devolve into piteous begging?

We already have the other reasons Marius resented Mael afterwards (abducting him in the first place, becoming his maker by proxy) but a person like Marius, who hates feeling weakened by emotion, who wants to always be seen as someone very in control of his feelings, must hate it so much that Mael saw him like that, that Mael has this knowledge of him.

So often trauma comes down to “I wasn’t in control” and we talk about Big T and little t trauma when it comes to pinpointing it to an event. I mean I think the entire year of captivity (plus the cherry on top of his MURDER) is a Big T, but there’s a whole year of little t in there, too, a whole year of mundane bullshit, passing the time, drinking mead, learning Mael’s stupid songs, where Marius wasn’t in control. And often like thinking down to the barest bones of trauma, no matter what the Big T or the little t is, the most basic conclusion is often “I wasn’t in control.”

Marius is a person who needs control. The way he was turned and the year leading up to it and his immediate burden with the Parents taught him that he needs to be in control. And even as his life smooths out, as he gets older, as he starts building seasons for himself and trying to sculpt the person he wants to be, he so badly wants to be in control of his emotions too. (“I have lived lies,” etc.).

Exactly how desperate and pathetic did he get!!! Enough that Mael bought into it at some point.

It’s so hard because for Mael, he knew that the God of the Grove was real. It wasn’t a question of faith for him, he’d experienced Teskhamen and knew. And it makes me wonder like, when we see in Blood & Gold that Mael was just as hurt and resentful that Marius damaged his own worldview and his commitment to his own people, that he took the Naples stuff to heart—was he going to let Teskhamen turn him anyway? Would he have wanted to free Marius after he’d become the new god? Did he want to escape with his deity boyfriend???

SOMETHING HAPPENED BETWEEN THEM AND MARIUS HATES THAT PEOPLE EXIST WHO HAVE SEEN HIM AT HIS WORST

#cant believe lestat said that marius had a fit of pique lmfao im bawling #marius de romanus #deep ass thoughts about vampires #mael #teskhamen #marius/mael

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whateven333 · 4 months

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What you prefer bonnie going dark with kai or kai being redeemed for bonnie?

I think, and forgive me, I feel like I’m always picking answers that are kind of in-between (I’m a “little” bit of an indecisive person lmao) but I like when they’re sort of a mix of both.

What I mean by that is like for Bonnie’s character, -I think she’s not as “good” as the show tries to convince us, and don’t get me wrong I think this is a positive because it makes for a more interesting/ complex character, -well it would have if the writers actually acknowledged it and did something with it, instead they kept her boxed away as some sort of “saint-like” figure (with none of the respect) but I think they did that in order to keep her away from any of the fun action in the show that the other leading ladies were allowed to be apart of, -like getting romantically/ sexually involved with villains, being careless/ misusing her powers for selfish reasons (like how the vamps in the show got to be reckless/ indulgent with their powers) without consequences, going to parties/ balls whatever and just being there to look pretty in a dress and have fun etc. and I think the writers liked to describe her like she’s “too good” as an excuse to leave her out of storylines that would allow more development for her character and to neglect writing for her character unless they needed to use her as a plot device.

But even though Bonnie is selfless etc, she’s still done plenty of morally questionable things in order to protect her friends (who are mostly killers) so the “too good” thing the writer’s tried to pin on her is pretty stupid and an obvious ploy to keep her away from being a part of more interesting storylines.

So because of that I think although Bonnie is kind of a mostly ‘good’ character, she’s also at least a little bit morally grey? As well as a little dark at times (considering her expression arc, -we know she’ll go to great extremes to do what she believes needs to be done).

Though with Kai I do think he brings out more of that darkness in her and that’s really fun (this concept has been explored in a lot of fantastic BK fanfics and I LOVE IT).

And with Kai, I think that he doesn’t need to be redeemed and actually I think this applies to other characters as well, -like should they even be redeemed ? Do we need to ? I think it’s perfectly fine for darker/ morally grey characters to exist without any sort of redemption arc. I’ve enjoyed redemption arcs before so I’m not against them or anything but I think on TVD it’s been done a lot (though I wouldn’t say they’ve done it well,- also TVD focussed on the ‘her lOvE redeemed him’ trope which I’m not really a fan of, I think it can be one of the reasons a character is redeemed but not the sole reason).

I liked that Post-merge Kai still seemed to have kept his pre-merge traits. I would have hated if they turned him into some sort of strangely good version of Luke, -even though some people insist that’s what he was post-merge and that’s why he was apologising to Bonnie, although that doesn’t make sense since the merge is not supposed to erase him- Kai’s meant to just be himself but with emotions now and Luke really did not have any serious connections to Bonnie to make him care that much about her.

One of the things I like about BK is the intense way they affected each other even when they didn’t want to be affected, even when they tried to act indifferent to the other it was obvious how they were still influenced by each other.

The type of redemption arcs that TVD focussed on had one person changing because of / for the other person. I think with BK they would change each other, both for the better and worse tbh, and that would be so delicious to watch -some of Bonnie’s good bleeding into Kai’s bad and vice versa.

And it would be an unwilling change for the both of them that they would probably try to fight tooth and nail, but regardless of what they want, their mutual obsession would inevitably lead them there.

So all that to say... I'd prefer them to mutually destroy each others perceptions of their own self-concepts and egos 💖

And I mean if that isn't ✨️True Romance✨️ then what is 💕

Thanks so much for the ask ! this was interesting to think about, I tried to answer this earlier but I couldn’t decide which I preferred and ended up kinda in the middle after all anyways… 😭

#bonkai #bonnie bennett #kai parker #ask

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