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talesfrommedinastation · 7 months

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My redneck neighbor Doug watches 'The Bad Batch': Pabu

So, maybe it's because the Razorbacks are currently up over the Tigers, which makes Doug's LSU loving self extra fired up this evening, but I have made the mistake of asking him again about his opinion on the episode after 'The Outpost', which was 'Pabu'.

He called this both 'HR Goes to Daytona' and 'Did I miss an episode?'.

Doug: Make sure you put one of my Baton Rouge boys on the internet too right now. GEAUX TIGERS.

CW: Doug insults everyone, everything, and is generally a cantankerous old jerk in this one. His wife should have unplugged his internet. Lots of adult everything, ranging from language to...well, if you're under 18, please be warned.

Prepare thyself, especially if you're a TechxPhee fan. The amount of angry emojis I got in the text messages were pretty wild.

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'Pabu' aka 'HR Goes to Daytona'

Oh it’s Church Lady and it’s Sunday service. Why is little orphan blondie in the bar with her? Daddy Rambo has his knife but you know the man was plowing vodka out of sight here. He’s tired.

I thought he hated Church Lady? Did I miss an episode?

Ah, now Ryan-from-Accounting is playing solitaire. Atta boy, get your mind off the bitch wife Laura. If he makes out with that garbage robot I’ll throw up.

Time to skee-daddle. Woah! Church Lady just grabbed Ryan-from-Accounting. That man looks terrified, probably because he found a Youtube video of her taking down muggers behind Manning's after a Pelicans game. Bitch wife Laura gonna blow a gasket.

But such is the way of the Church Lady, I have known many in my day. “I groped the hot new usher in Jesus’s house, but it’s okay, The Lord forgives”.

(praise the Lord and pass the Tabasco)

No, seriously, did I miss an episode? I feel like I did.

Houma-BBQ bitch is bitching, as is her wont. I wonder what sauce her tail would taste best with. Carolina Gold? I’d cook her brisket style. Oh, wait, back to the show.

And now they’re on paradise! Daytona Beach! Who is this guy, he looks like he used to play hoops now he plays how much dessert he can eat at Golden Corral. Props to him, that lava cake is gold. Hope Rex and Toaster Strudel are there.

Where are Rex and Toaster Strudel.

No, really, where are Rex and Toaster Strudel.

I’m getting real mad here, where are Rex and Toaster Strudel.

CHURCH LADY, GET BACK IN YOUR SPACE UBER AND GO FIND REX AND TOASTER STRUDEL. I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOUR MUSEUM OF SHIT YOU FOUND IN PEOPLE’S BACKYARDS AND THE DUMPSTER BEHIND THE KEY LARGO PUBLIX, GO GET REX AND TOASTER STRUDEL.

SHOVE RYAN-FROM-ACCOUNTING BACK INTO THE DRIVER’S SEAT, PAY FOR HIS GAS, AND GO GET REX AND TOASTER STRUDEL.

“You have some competition”. From what, there’s gonna be a hot dog eating contest or something? Why does Ryan-from-Accounting look so upset?

(“I think they’re trying to set him and Phee up, Doug.” “What, when did that happen? Did I miss an episode?”)

Ryan-from-Accounting looks either sad or excited and I’m so confused. Maybe it’s because I’ve been married since before the dinosaurs but why is he either frowning and freaked out by Church Lady or smiling at Church Lady? Is he having a breakdown like my nephew did after he lost his job? Does Bitch Wife Laura know about this? Does he like Church Lady or is he planning on pepper spraying her? Did I miss an episode? Is this how the children flirt on the Ticky-Tack? No wonder y’all aren’t getting married any more.

(“Doug, you did not miss an episode. And it is called Tik-Tok.” “I MISSED AN EPISODE. I KNOW I DID, AND IT IS CALLED THE TICKY-TACK!!!”)

Ya know who would solve these questions? REX AND MOTHER LOVING TOASTER STRUDEL, WHO AIN’T HERE. THEY NEED TO BE HERE. WHERE ARE YOU HIDING THEM CHURCH LADY.

Oh lovely, Hoops forgot to make a reservation at BoneFish, so they’re having his gas station sushi. Not one shrimp or crab on that table? Y’all Hoops is failing so hard right now, as a boy from Louisiana I’m just offended. His momma raised that man WRONG.

You know who would love sushi on the beach while watching the sun set? REX AND TOASTER STRUDEL, and Daddy Warcrimes and Sassy Park Ranger too.

I MISS SASSY PARK RANGER ALREADY!!!!!!

But no, Rex and Toaster Strudel are busy at work saving the galaxy while Julio and the gang throw back cocktails and stare at the sun like they dropped cheap acid they bought in a sketchier part of Biloxi. Which is all of Biloxi, I guess.

Oh, and Ryan-from-Accounting is awkward around Church Lady and stares at his phone lest that Bitch Wife Laura of his get a snap of them sitting together and Little Orphan Blondie pets a monkey. I hope they all get food poisoning. I’m so mad.

They need Toaster Strudel the way I need FSU to lose this weekend, I have money on that game too. WHY IS ARKANSAS STILL UP IN THE SECOND QUARTER.

Ah, Little Orphan Blondie’s on a boat with her new buddy, that’s nice. If she doesn’t find Rex and Toaster Strudel out in the ocean with James Cameron I hope–oh, shoot, I was in the navy. I know what that water means. Oh boy.

Well bless Ryan-from-Accounting, he watches Big Tuna and knows how to do a rescue. Church Lady looks happy. He finally touched her, it only took a natural disaster and a whole lot of nagging on her part. Oh, poor Church Lady, you need a guy who actually likes you back.

Seriously, why does that man look like the subject of them shitty videos HR makes us watch once a year so we don’t get sued? I don’t know, but I’m starting to understand why his Bitch Wife Laura is the way she is. I can’t believe the episode they filmed in Daytona makes me feel for her, but it do.

(“Doug, you’re making up Bitch Wife Laura in your head. She’s not in the show.” “Well, it’s clear that I missed some episodes, so maybe I missed the Bitch Wife Laura ones.” “No, you didn’t miss any, I promise.” “Are you SURE?!”)

Man, the tsunami got people running like it’s Black Friday Wal-Mart in Tampa. But they rescued an old guy and Daddy Rambo got the stolen work truck working to rescue the kids. Hooray, I guess.

You know who would have done a better job? Of all of this?

REX AND MOTHER-LOVING TOASTER STRUDEL. But they ain’t here!

(Doug's love for them runs hard and it runs deep, for which I can empathize)

You know who should have been on a beach horking down Mai Tais and getting into Church Lady and her handsy hands?

POOR POOR SASSY PARK RANGER. BUT HE DIED BACK IN WYOMING. I bet he’d love a back massage from Church Lady too! He’d sass her, she’d sass him back, and they’d make out on the beach while Daddy Warcrimes played the saxophone behind them or something. I support that. I’d like that. He’s got brown eyes.*

Make it work, Star Wars, damn it.

(Doug has unlocked a new rarepair, I guess: Mayday and Phee? WTF?)

Well they’re hanging out here in Daytona for the time being, I guess. Julio passed out under a tree like a drunk uncle at a cookout. Everyone's smiling.

I’d be smiling too, knowing that REX AND TOASTER STRUDEL ARE ACTUALLY SAVING PEOPLE WHILE YOU CLOWNS STOMP AROUND FLORIDA.

Stop smiling at Church Lady, Ryan-from-Accounting! Is it because you finally filed HR complaint paperwork or because you filed for divorce papers from Bitch Wife Laura? Why are you smiling?! Church Lady belongs to Sassy Park Ranger!

(“Doug…Sassy Park Ranger’s dead. He and Church Lady never met. You need to stop.” “IF THEY CAN BRING PALPATINE BACK, THEY CAN BRING SASSY PARK RANGER BACK TOO!”)

*=I NEED FAN ART OF THIS NOW, please @amalthiaph! Help me out!

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fkingsteverogers · 3 years

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Tell Me We’ll Be Just Fine

A/N: A couple points: 1) I made a new blog for these writings to make them easier to find 2) I have a tag list! lmk if you want to be added to it 3) For my non US babes and others, your third amendment rights say you can’t be forced to house soldiers. Long Story Short

Contains TFATWS Episode 5 spoilers

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With John Walker being Honorably Discharged after an International Incident, you’re stuck under house arrest. (The United States Government would tell you house arrest is too strong of a word, it’s simply Strongly Advised you stay in your apartment.) You want to scream from the rooftops that you had nothing to do with him, that it was all an act, but you’re being Strongly Advised, so that’s not an option. You hope, wherever he is, Bucky is having a better time than you are.

Five Days; Eastern Europe:

Bucky is not having a good time. They’re in a country where everyone wants them dead, holed up in a shitty motel and all he can think of is the absolutely devastated look on your face when he walked out the door. It makes him brood.

“You have to talk about her sometime.”

“Who?”

“Whoever makes you frown like that.”

“‘M not frowning. What do you know about it anyway? You’re single.” So maybe he was being an ass about it. You were so far away, probably cuddled up with John or Steve, and he was here, sitting in a motel room with Sam. John Walker was probably feeling you up right now, running his hand over those beautiful thighs of yours as you kissed him, making soft little noises--he clenches his fist so hard he breaks the bowl he’d been holding, splattering rice and beans all over the floor cracked tile floor.

“Yo, man, what the fuck?!”

Day One; New York City:

Steve’s allowed to visit, because of course he is. He flashes some badge and the guards (who are Strongly Advising you), stand down. “Why are you here, Stevie?” And you hate that you still call him Stevie. Stevie is what you called him on the quiet nights when you two were alone and he was still yours. Steve gives you his sad smile and you want to fall into his arms, to sob into his chest and tell him how you fucked it all up. You don’t.

“Just go, Stevie.”

Four Days; Eastern Europe:

Sam goes to do some surveillance, announcing that he “couldn’t deal with this shit,” leaving Bucky alone in the shitty room they were sharing. Before he’d been deployed, he would’ve spent an afternoon alone in a hotel curled up with a pretty girl or a handsome boy. During the war, he’d spend a quiet day catching up on some sleep or rereading a well loved copy of The Hobbit. During his Hydra days (which he hated thinking about but also couldn’t stop thinking about), there really weren’t days off. There were days where he killed and days where he didn’t. Since then, he’d spent most of his days off trying to remember how to be a human.

You had made those days feel like living again. And now you were John’s girl, dressed all pretty up for him and everything. Bucky’d been fucking stupid to think you’d want someone like him, someone damaged, someone with blood on his hands. You were good and soft and pretty. You spoke four languages and had probably read every book ever written.

You’d been good enough for Steve.

He breaks another bowl and has to lay down after.

Day Three; New York City:

You glare down the solider that’s sitting in your kitchen, eating a sandwich. “This is violating my Third Amendment Rights, you know.”

The smug bastard grins and keeps eating his sandwich.

Two Days; Louisiana:

“That shield’s the closest thing I’ve got left to a family, so when you retired it, I felt like I had nothing left.”

The mission had gone down as well as any of their missions go, they’d been shot at, gotten out by the skin of their teeth. Sam left to go back home as soon as he could, Bucky followed. Where else did he have to go?

“You have her.”

He didn’t, not really.

“I don’t want to talk about her, Sam.” Bucky tosses the shield, scowling deeply.

Sam sighs, catching the shield. He turned to face his friend, were they friends?, and looked him up and down. “Yeah, you do.” So maybe Bucky does want to talk about you, about how betrayed he feels by you choosing Walker over him. The government hadn’t been powerful enough to stop some gossip magazine from publishing a spread of you and Walker, you in a little red sundress that makes you look incredible and his hand on your thigh. There’s some bullshit story about how you met and had been so enamored with him you’d asked him for coffee on the spot.

It makes Bucky physically sick with rage.

Day Four; New York City:

After four days of being Strongly Advised, you’re ready to start pulling out your hair. The news is nonstop coverage of what happened to John Walker, the green beret who had gone crazy and killed a man in a moment of grief induced rage. And to top it all off, People released a spread that makes you want to scream. The whole shoot hadn’t been your idea, some government publicist had insisted it was necessary to sell the story. In reality, it’d been five hours with John’s hands all over you, grinning like the cat that got the cream. During a break, he’d asked you about Steve, his tone suggesting something that was none of his business.

“You don’t get to talk about Steve.” John had smirked at you, running his tongue over his teeth. It clearly annoyed him, someone thinking he wasn’t good enough for something. “What about your wife, John?” A look of surprise crosses his face but it’s gone in a moment, the mask he wears to keep people out back in place.

“Olivia isn’t part of the deal. I thought we could be friends,” he spits the word out like it’s dirty, “but clearly you’re not interested in that, clearly you’re interested in--”

“Be careful how you finish that sentence, John.” Your voice is low, betraying the landmine he’s almost stepped on. Given the chance, you’d stab John Walker in his pretty face. Decades in prison means nothing when the love of your life abandoned you and the man you thought you could count on ran out. (So maybe you were thinking about Bucky, it doesn’t actually matter.)

Bucky had been a solid presence in a sea of uncertainty. He’d made you feel safe and okay. After Steve’s departure and the death of Tony, the only member of your family left, solid and safety had been in short supply. He’d showed up, ate his cold beans in silence in the kitchen, and hadn’t left. He’d made you laugh in a way you hadn’t in months. You’d developed a routine, Bucky would wake up before you and boil water for tea, you’d stumble out and cook something to serve as breakfast, and you’d both go about your days. In the evenings, you’d come together, talk about the stupid shit that had happened during the day, watch a movie on Friday nights, and go to bed. It was nice to have a routine, something and someone you could depend on.

The nights had been quiet since he left.

Twelve Hours; New York City:

Bucky’s plane lands and he breathes a sigh of relief.

It’s raining when he steps out of the airport, a down pour by anyone’s standards. Fine by him, less people to avoid. He manages to make it to the little coffee shop outside your apartment without getting too soaked. Going up there wasn’t an option, not when you were probably angry with him for running out. So he sits, drinks endless cups of coffee and watches.

“She takes it two creams, no sugar, if you want to bring it up to her.” Bucky turns and finds himself face to face with Steve. His friend looks old, but happy, at peace even. There’s so much he wants to say, he wants to ask Steve why he left, what he thought about Walker. He wants to punch him or throttle him or hug him. Bucky wants a long fucking hug.

“I don’t think she wants to see me, punk.” Steve sits, shaking his head.

“I didn’t think she wanted to see me, either. Sometimes she doesn’t know what’s good for her..”

Before Bucky can reply, before he can really process what Steve is saying, he gets a text from Sam and he’s off to save the world again.

Day Five; New York City:

Because the universe hates you, you can’t even use your phone to entertain yourself. Someone leaked your personal number and it hadn’t stopped ringing since. And, since the internet has no nuance, they’re mostly death threats. You’re reading a book when the guards who are Strongly Advising you abandon their posts. There’s something going on, something that no one bothers to inform you about.

You go back to reading your book. Hopefully Bucky’s not being thrown through a wall.

Thirty Minutes; New York City:

Bucky gets thrown through a wall.

It fucking hurts and he’s dizzy after. Like can’t-walk-straight-am-I-actually-drunk-dizzy. Sam, the useless bastard, loads him into a taxi, tells him he’ll be fine, and gives the driver your address. Bucky’s dimly aware of this fact, aware of the fact that this poor man is driving him, a bleeding super solider, to the one place he wanted to be but wasn’t welcome.

Two Minutes; New York City:

The guards aren’t back by the time the downstairs buzzer starts ringing incessantly. You’re in the middle of your book, right at the moment where the head-strong damsel and the Lord she hated are about to kiss. You try to ignore it, With a groan, you stomp down to the doors.

Standing there, half supported by Vasily, the Russian cabbie (who is definitely into some shady business), is Bucky.

Now; New York City:

You thank Vasily, telling him you’ll pay for the cab when you see him on Friday for Shabbat, and take the bleeding Bucky into your arms. Bucky mumbles something, clearly speaking Russian but too lowly for you to actually understand. Vasily glares at him, muttering curses as he stalks away.

Dragging Bucky up to your sixth floor apartment means sharing a run in with Daisy Mae, your elderly neighbor who’s 90% blind and enjoys loitering in the elevator. She seems to take offense to Bucky mumbling Russian children’s songs to himself.

“Speak English dear, not Communism. We’re in the United States.”

“Mind the business that pays you, Daisy Mae.”

She hmphs, but doesn’t say anything else. Bucky, for his part, gives a rousing performance of the Russian alphabet. Finally, you get Bucky into your apartment and unceremoniously drop him on your couch.

It’s not long before he falls asleep, leaving you to stare at him for hours, wondering just what he’s going to say when he wakes up.

When he does wake up, it’s to the scent of your soap, sweet watermelon that always leaves an aching in the pit of his stomach. Waking up on your couch, smelling your soap, and listening to you cook feels like a dream. How many times had he thought about this exact moment while he was with Sam? Soon enough you’d turn the corner from the kitchenette and smile at him, that beautiful smile that never failed to make him feel a little dizzy.

And then he’d wake up in a shitty hotel room, listening to Sam take a shit through the paper thin walls.

He waits, but when you appear, you’re frowning anxiously. And God, you’re so fucking beautiful. You’re wearing a pair of tiny sleep shorts that expose your long legs to his greedy eyes. Your hair is pushed back off your face, exposing the most beautiful eyes he’s ever seen.

Steve was a lucky man, to be able to love you. Maybe one day he’ll find a woman like you to love, if he’s lucky. Has he ever been lucky?

Bucky looks confused when you appear holding tea. “Hi.” He doesn’t say anything back, just frowns back. Your mind races, realizing he probably doesn’t want to see you, that he was dropped off here by some well meaning friend, and he was going to get up and walk out the door again.

“At least let me clean you up before you go.” Bucky nods wordlessly, looking like he’s still a little stunned. He takes a seat at the kitchen table as you pull down the first aid kit you’d put together when Steve was still here. There’s a cut above his eyebrow that’s still oozing a little blood. It’s in such a place you have to situate yourself between his legs in order to get to it.

It’s quiet while you work, Bucky’s never been a man of many words and now he’s probably trying to figure out how to tell you you’re never going to see him again. As soon as he’s cleaned up well enough that you’re satisfied he won’t die sitting at your kitchen table, you step away to admire your handy work. Bucky’s left hand, his metal hand, catches your wrist and pulls you back to him. It holds you there while his right hand comes up to cup your face, running a thumb over your cheekbone.

“You’re so beautiful.”

He’s not sure what possesses him when he pulls you back into him. All he knows is if he doesn’t get you close, if he doesn’t tell you how fucking beautiful you are, he won’t be able to breathe. You make a little noise of exasperation, your gorgeous lips parting. “I mean it.” “Bucky…” You try to pull away but he holds you there, studying every inch of your face and committing it to memory. There’s an electricity between the two of you, it feels like the air is charged enough to light that stupid snail lamp you’d bought from Arrow or whatever that store you loved was called. “Bucky…” You repeat, your voice softer, in a tone he can’t quite describe

Before either of you can move or say anything else, the door swings open to reveal Sam and Torres, flanked by three soldiers. None of them take notice of what feels like a very compromising position.

“Oh good, you’re here, Sargent Barnes. You're all being moved to a safe house. Pack enough for an indeterminate amount of time.”

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #tfatws #tfatws x reader #tfatws imagine #I hope ya'll like this one as much as the other one!!#these idiots don't realize they're in love and I HATE it #I have all kinds of plans and I'm so excited for this to become a series #marvel imagine #marvel x reader #ls!reader #Sara writes

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fanficanatic-tw · 2 years

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🎭, 👿, ☀️ annnddd 🍀 for your Kayla-darlin' ^_^

(Excited squeal) thanks for asking :)

🎭 - A Former Friend - Kayla has a few, seeming how she moved from Louisiana to Beacon Hills. The two most prominent ones are Paige (who does play a minor part in books 2/3/4) and Harry.

So Paige was sort of Kayla's friend, they werent super close but got on. Then, not long before Kayla came to Beacon Hills, Paige got in a car crash with Harry because she was driving erratically, arguing with Harry about his feelings for Kayla (because Paige was dating Harry on the down low, but he never reciprocated her intense feelings). Once the crash happened, Paige called Kayla instead of the police and Kayla felt obligated to cover it up. She helped a dying Harry switch seats with Paige, so it looked like he was driving. Since then, Kayla hasn't forgiven her. She's tried, and they've kept it civil, but she isn't really a friend and definitely a former friend. Things got awkward though because Paige moved to Beacon Hills and starts dating Isaac 😂 shit gets complicated haha. Then Harry, well, he was her best friend in lousianna and she had to bury him. They always had a 'what if' relationship but it never happened, sticking to being bffs.

👿 - An Enemy - haha oh, many. But in the first two books it's Brian Murdock. Brian started out as the typical jock just trying to get into her pants. They flirted, kissed, but evidently Kayla could not be bothered with him. Towards the end of season 1, it turns out Brian and his family are what are known as 'protectors'. Like hunters, but much more dangerous. No code. They just want to protect and preserve the human race. In the dance episode of season 1, Peter kills Brian but he comes back as Strigoi, a creature born from rage and hate. Brian's parents die in season 2 and he blames Kayla, going out of his way to torment her. Eventually, things come to a head in the end of season 2 and he attacks Kayla's car; making her crash and then violently nearly beats her to death. This is a pivotal moment as she genuinely nearly dies. She's badly injured and takes months to recover. Then in season 3, Brian is back at his games and blackmail, forcing stiles to break up with Kayla etc. eventually tho, Kayla uses her new found power on him, and turns him insane and he ends up in eichen house. Eventually; the nogitsune, sensing Stiles' murderous hatred of him, kills Brian in eichen house in front of Kayla by using a lobotomy needle thingy to stab it through his eye 😂

☀️ - Someone who Can “Turn Lemons into Lemonade” - Brain is dead, but I'm guessing this means someone who inspires optimism etc? I think for Kayla, obviously Stiles, but I think Lydia too. They have such an important relationship and connection, and they try and support and encourage each other. Lydia is Kayla's soulmate, through and through.

🍀 - Someone Lucky - well, it's definitely not Kayla is it? 😂 I would say... her aunt Jane. Kayla see's her as incredibly lucky, and the kind of person she wished she had as a mom. She had her daughter tabby, that they all dote on, and Kayla can't think of anyone else better to be a mum

Sorry I rambled 😂😂 thanks for asking lovely ❤️

#Kayla hale

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enkelimagnus · 3 years

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Delacroix

Bucky Barnes Gen, 2565 words, rated T

Jewish Bucky Barnes, The Falcon and the Winter Soldier: Episode 5 Truth

Bucky spends a few days in Delacroix with Sam and his family. On one evening, as they both have a beer before dinner, watching the sun set, they have a conversation about life, about therapy, about work.

TW: US healthcare system and the military industrial complex, mental health

Read on AO3

Part 33 of Making a Home - the Jewish Bucky series

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Sam’s family house is more of a home than anything Bucky’s lived in since he was deployed.

It’s warm and luminous, with big windows and light paint on the wood and the walls. There’s a poarch where they all end up sitting at the end of the day, when the sun sets over the bayou. The walls outside are blue and the roof is red. There are crayon drawings stuck with magnets to the fridge and mismatched furniture and containers. It’s been lived in, loved in.

A few days after his surprise arrival, Bucky stops feeling like a blood stain on the tapestry of life of the Wilson home.

Sarah’s nice and warm. He immediately takes a liking to her, and her to him, and he can see how much that infuriates Sam. What can he say? She’s a gorgeous woman, funny and bright and caring and her smile is honestly the kind that probably stopped a few hearts in her lifetime. Yes, she’s his sister, but he still has eyes, and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t at least show appreciation. Besides, she seems to enjoy it. He’d stop the second he’d sense uncomfort.

He hasn't gotten to flirt and be comfortable with flirting in a really long time. It seems to be the same for her. What if they’re just… enjoying the flirtation? And enjoying infuriating Sam? Bucky considers it his duty as Sam’s friend.

Delacroix is unlike anywhere he’s ever been. It’s half an island and half a town. It’s relaxing. And the food… Bucky doesn’t think he’s eaten as much seafood in his life as he had in the past week.

It’s a slow end of day in Louisiana when Bucky and Sam find themselves sitting on the plastic chairs out back, with beers, watching the surface of the water. There’s music playing in the house, the kids are doing their homework.

It’s simple. Bucky breathes in and out, unobstructed.

He hears Sam’s intake of breath and knows a hard conversation is coming from that alone. No, that’s a lie. Sam’s shifted, ten seconds ago. He’s looked between his beer and the water four times in the past minute.

“We haven’t had time to talk about Madripoor,” Sam starts and Bucky immediately tenses.

He’d almost forgotten he’d told Sam they’d talk about that later. Because still, he’s not ready to talk about it. He’s not ready to talk about that part of his past. It’s still an infected wound in him. It’s still hurting. He can’t do it. He’s about to say that when Sam holds up his hand.

“We don’t have to talk about it,” he says, surprisingly. “I don’t need to know shit if you’re not ready to tell.”

Bucky goes back to breathing. It’s a reprieve. Even if one day, Sam might expect him to be ready… it’s extra time. He’s so thankful for it.

“I’ll tell you though,” Sam keeps going. “You need a new therapist. Because if I know one thing, after everything, and what I saw in that precinct? it’s that Raynor’s not working for you. You need better. You deserve better.”

Bucky looks up at him then. Sam is looking at the water, but there is that look on his face. The look of determination, of drive, the look that Bucky knows… there’s no use in trying to go against what he is saying now.

No one has ever told him he deserved better.

He’s told himself that a few times, in the few moments where the clouds parted and he didn’t feel like the worst person in the world.

But he doesn’t think anyone has ever told him that. Even Steve. There was a couple ‘you deserved better’, but they were all in the past tense, all regarding Hydra, not Bucky’s current situation. Because his current situation is good. It’s great, compared to the past seventy years. Maybe even compared to what was there before. Because he doesn’t break his back in the factory during the day and in the docks at night anymore.

He’s so silent and shocked Sam just keeps going.

“And don’t give me bullshit about not needing help or whatever. I know your generation didn’t do therapy but that ain’t gonna fly with me. You deserve a therapist suited to your needs, and I know that’s gonna be hard to find, with your trunkload of decades of trauma, but we’ll find them.”

He says it with such determination, like it’s his new personal mission. He has much better to do than try to help Bucky more than he already has, and yet… Sam looks at him finally, for a long moment.

“Raynor’s not a bad doctor,” he says. “She’s just not the right fit. And that’s not uncommon. We just need to find you someone that’s better. And someone that’s not me. Because I can’t be your friend and your therapist, man. And out of the two, I’d much rather be your friend.”

Bucky’s still staring. He doesn’t know how to handle this. Nowhere in his databank of social interactions is there something that prepares him for this. He’s had long talks with people before, hell, even with fucking Zemo, but this is entirely different and he has no idea how to handle it.

“I’m sure you’re a great therapist,” Bucky says quietly after a moment, before he takes a big swig of a beer.

Sam chuckles, shaking his head. “You do realize I ain’t a therapist right? I’m a counselor.”

“You’ll have to give me the difference on that because we were still using alienist the last time I heard about psychoanalysis,” Bucky points out.

“There isn’t much of one. I guess I’m more about… finding practical solutions for people to deal with their trauma than really knowing the root cause of it. Probably because, since I worked with the VA, I knew what the root was.”

Bucky hums, nodding. That makes sense to him. More than the ‘how does that make you feel’s. “Either way, I’m still sure you’re a great counselor.”

“It ain’t difficult, with your experience,” Sam shrugs, watching him. “You don’t know better, old man.”

Bucky snorts at that, watching the water again. Sometimes, his eyes catch motion, but he’s never sure if it’s wildlife under the surface or just a trick of the light.

AJ and Cass seem to be debating with their mother whether they can finish their homework later, after dinner. Bucky barely knows them, but he already knows it won’t actually get done if they follow their plan. Kids are kids. Bucky’s sisters could never finish their homework after the radio show either. Too distracted, too tired.

He turns his attention back on Sam after a moment.

“Walker is in a bad shape,” Bucky says quietly. “Now, and before Hoskins died too. The second we saw him in Germany, I felt it. That guy didn’t get help.”

Sam sighs heavily. “Yeah. Not enough of them do, when they come back. You wouldn’t, if you weren’t forced to.”

Bucky can’t deny it. “Yeah, but I’m 107.”

If Sam noticed the year added to his age, he doesn’t mention it. At least for now.

“Some of it hasn’t changed that much,” Sam explains. “The army… You know that culture of toughness, right? Gotta be strong, gotta be a man. Can’t cry, can’t show you’re struggling. I’m sure they had that shit too, in your day, probably even worse.”

He’s not wrong. There were a lot of issues in his day but that was part of things. Emotional outbursts that weren’t from anger were frowned upon. Once they got to the war, it was even worse at first, until it started really getting hard. And then there were two options. Either you fucking cry with your buddies, or you end badly. Bucky had Steve, and the Howlies.

“Men like Walker… Because they’re these tough white guys, they’re encouraged to be like that. Aggressive, emotionally-closed off, fight-hungry. They’re the ones that shove you and call you a pussy for not laughing at their frankly horrible offensive jokes. It’s like they think the trauma we all face just won’t touch them. Or that they can’t show anyone it touched them. So they keep it all in. And the only way they get to be… emotional is in combat.”

Bucky nods quietly. They’re worse off than he thought.

It wasn’t good in his day either, but it just feels worse now. It churned and churned and got bigger with every spin, and now it’s all a giant fucked up stick of trauma cotton candy, all twisted in itself and sticking to itself.

“When I work for the SRT… Sometimes I see these kids,” Bucky mumbles. “They’re what? 22? And I ask them why they’re here, you know, try to pass time. And they tell me they enlisted for college. Or healthcare. And it’s…” He closes his eyes. “It’s been eighty fucking years…”

He takes a swig of the beer again, shaking his head. “When the crash hit, in the 30s, things were bad. No one could afford shit, there was polio, there was syphilis… It was really bad. And they made plans. They tried to get healthcare on the way, and they half succeeded. And more than like… two thirds of the population was for it too. And we had basically none of the resources we have now.”

He looks up at Sam for a moment. “It hurts to see… that it’s still… We’re still here. At least on that issue. On other stuff… Rights and all, that’s getting better.” He finishes. “But healthcare… and college…” He shakes his head. “It’s criminal. That’s what it is. It feels criminal.”

Sam bumps his shoulder with his fist, chuckling. “Don’t say shit like that next to journalists, they’ll say the Soviets put communism in your brain along with the murdering.”

Bucky chuckles at that. “Nah. That was all America. Living in it. Dying for it.”

Behind them, AJ and Cass have lost their battle of wits with their mother.

“You happy with what you’re doing?” Sam asks after a moment.

Bucky takes a deep breath. The answer is easy. “No,” he mutters. “But I don’t have a say in the matter. Until they decide I’ve done enough to undo the damage I perpetrated as the Soldier… I’m gonna be clearing Hydra safehouses. And after the shit I pulled with Zemo, I’m gonna be at it for a while longer, I think. But… I was expecting that.”

He can feel Sam’s eyes on him. “You knew what would happen.”

“Yep. On all accounts. With the Dora Milaje, with you, with Walker, with the U.S. government, and the GRC, and everything… Still did it.”

Sam huffs loudly. “Stubborn ass.” He shakes his head. He’s smiling, beautifully, brightly.

Bucky smiles at that. “You know it. Wouldn’t be alive without it.”

The sun is starting to set over the bayou. Every evening, Bucky finds himself thinking he’s never seen anything quite like it before.

“Whatever happens,” Sam points out after a moment, looking down at his empty beer bottle. “You got a couch here. Somewhere to crash. Somewhere to rest. I don’t know what your situation is, up north.”

Bucky sighs a little. “I got a house,” he answers, looking back at him. “A townhouse, in Brooklyn.”

Sam’s eyebrows rise up to meet the descending sun. “Well excuse us, mister.” He teases.

Bucky shakes his head. “It’s not like that,” he starts. Sam looks even less like he takes him seriously. “It’s a former Hydra safehouse,” he adds, and now his friend’s eyes get a little sadder, a little darker. “The army got tired of me taking space in their housing, so the second we raided a place within proper commute distance, they handed it over to me.”

Said like that, it sounds even worse than it actually was.

“It wasn’t like.. Full of Nazi or Hydra shit, or anything. It was just a house. They got rid of the bodies.”

The emotional journey on Sam’s face as he talks is worth a good dozen of sunrises.

“And you live there?” Sam asks. He’s struggling not to let his bewilderment and horror show, but he’s failing.

It makes sense. It sounds like an absolutely terrible situation to be in. It is an absolutely terrible situation to be in. As much as owning a townhouse in Brooklyn can be terrible.

It’s been about four months now since he signed those papers and moved his bag of things into that pretty house with the marks in the doorways and the basement he still hasn’t stepped foot in. And now that he’s been away long enough…

He guesses he kinda misses it.

He doesn’t miss the house in itself, much. He does miss… everything else though. Charlie, Miriam, the neighbor whose name he still doesn’t know, the familiar commute, the Chinese place he gets a lot of very late night food at, the proximity to his childhood streets, the way life feels there. He misses his night jogs in the relative quiet. He misses the weather, and the oven he baked kugel in for the first time.

Brooklyn has become familiar again, in all of its differences with his memories.

And he didn’t even realize it was happening.

“You should come, one of these days,” Bucky shrugs. “I have a couple guest bedrooms.”

Sam punches him lightly in the shoulder. “Fancy ass ‘couple of guest bedrooms’.” He teases and Bucky smiles. “So I’m guessing I should try and find some good therapists for you in New York then,” he adds.

Bucky shrugs lightly. “I feel like… I have some stuff tethering me there.”

Sam’s expression shifts for an instant. “Like the SRT?”

Bucky shakes his head. “Nah. Like my childhood congregation, that somehow still exists, and has a shul not too far from where I live.” He points out.

“Shul?” Sam asks.

Bucky smiles lightly when he looks up at him. A few days ago, Sam spoke of his teetee and Bucky probably made the same face Sam’s making now.

“Synagogue,” Bucky explains. “Jewish temples. Shul’s yiddish.”

Sam makes a small ‘ah’ sound and nods. For a moment, they’re silent again. The noises of the world around them aren’t threatening to overwhelm them though, they’re… comforting. A warm tapestry in the background.

“You’re Jewish, I take it?”

“No, I’m Mormon,” Bucky replies with the straightest face he can muster before chuckling.

Sam punches him again, a little harder this time. “Come on, dude.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m Jewish.”

That’s the first time he says that out loud in… He’s never said it like that ever. This is the first time in his life that he says it that way. The first time he’s not afraid of the outcome of such an admission.

It’s a heady, wonderful feeling. He never thought he’d ever be comfortable enough to do that. Somehow, he might have Zemo to thank for that. Zemo and his fucking questioning. Not that he’s going to be asking much more questions from the Raft.

He’s Jewish. That’s a truth that doesn’t deserve to be hidden right now. Not when he can carry it. Not when he is strong enough to bear it proudly. He feels like his heart is going to burst with something he cannot name.

“Did Steve know?”

Bucky bursts out laughing.

#bucky barnes #sam wilson #jewish bucky barnes #jbu #marvel #mine #fic

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photolover82 · 3 years

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The Masked Singer Season 6 Episode 5 Recap: Date Night with Group B + Their First Wildcard (Commentary & Guesses)

Hello everyone and welcome to Ana’s Masked Singer recap, where I recap every episode of The Masked Singer! So, this week, we had Group B come back for their first wildcard round and the theme of the episode is date night! So yeah, let’s get started:

The masked contestants who performed this episode were: Mallard 🦆, Cupcake 🧁, Banana Split 🍌🍦, Queen of Hearts 🫀, and the wildcard, Caterpillar 🐛. Now, let’s begin with our eliminated contestant who was…

*DRUMROLL PLEASE*

The Cupcake 🧁

Performance: She sang Finesse by Bruno Mars and Cardi B, and it wasn’t the best for her type of voice. I preferred her first performance over this one, it kind of reminded me of the mistake Tori Kelly made season 4 that got her kicked off. It did not show her range at all but with this song I was sure who it was because of how she spoke to the judges

Anyways, she was revealed to be (by no surprise of mine at all)…

*ANOTHER DRUMROLL PLEASE*

Ruth Pointer (of the Pointer Sisters)

Her first performance kind of confused me if it was a man or woman, but with the clues this time around I was positive it was Ruth of the Pointer Sisters (I know them from the song I’m so Excited):

Had many husbands= yup, was married 4 times

Needle and Thread= reference again to her surname Pointer

Speed dating clue: would connect the most with Nick because both have “double trouble”= both of them have kids who are twins (Nick has 2 sets of twins, while Ruth has 1 set)

Jane Fonda as her friend= they recently have had dinner together

Now onto the remaining Group B contestants still masked and my guesses for them:

1. Mallard 🦆

Performance: he sang My House by Flo Rida and it again didn’t suit his voice, was probably the weakest performance of the episode. His voice suits Country songs like the last one, and he tried to rap which doesn’t go with him just to throw the panel off. It didn’t throw me off I am still sure of who it is

I am certain (again sticking with this guess) that this is…

Willie Robertson (Duck Dynasty)

Yup, still sticking with it and the clues emphasize my point:

Met his wife in 4th grade= yup, when she was in 3rd and he was in 4th grade, in summer camp

Sweet tea, accent= he’s from Louisiana, was born there and is from there too

Speed Dating Clue: would pick Jenny because “we can sit on the coach and get on the same wavelength”= both Wahlburgers and Duck Dynasty are on the same channel, A&E

2. Queen of Hearts 🫀

Performance: her performance of Le Vie en Rose by Edith Pilaf was amazing especially for the fact that she doesn’t sing French, it sounds like she’s fluent in French songs. It was so much stronger than her last performance, but since I already saw it in the sneak peak episode I expected it, even though I was shocked when she said nope I never sing French. It was one of the strongest vocal performances of the episode.

Again, I am sticking with that this is…

Jewel

I am still so sure it’s her, nothing made me think anyone else. Here are the clues that made me lock it in:

She’s surprisingly shy= she has admitted that when she’s not on stage, she’s a very shy person

Unlucky in love= has been married once and divorced in 2014

Speed Dating Clue: pick Ken because they will have a “roasting hot first date”= Ken does a lot of roasts in Comedy Central and she has done too of Rob Lowe

3. Banana Split 🍌🍦

Performance: they performed Cry Me a River by Michael Buble, which was the version Banana (spoiler: David Foster) helped compose. He started the song with a suspenseful piano solo which really set the mood for the song, it was amazing on his part. She, on the other hand, has a stunning voice that can fill up a room. Her voice, in my opinion, on its own is the strongest one of everyone in this group! My favorites for sure!

I am super positive that they are husband and wife duo:

David Foster and Katherine McPhee

I’m still sticking with them, I have never been for sure when it comes to them and Todrick… here are the clues that prove my point:

Plate with the word Nothing on it= she sang I Have Nothing on American Idol which was one of his biggest producing hits

Smashing the heart= she was on the show Smash

Fantasy, Pain, Reality and then she says no reality, instead heart as the ingredients for love= Foster said no to being on a reality show nor turning their marriage into one

Speed Dating Clue: Split picking Nicole to date because they “have a ball together”= they attended the 2nd annual bliss ball together (both women) in 2013

4. Introducing our wildcard: Caterpillar 🐛

Performance: He sang If I Were a Boy by Beyoncé and it was really great! You could tell this one has a musical background because his voice is really amazing. He’s a natural on stage, I really enjoyed it a lot. At the end when he called out Ken, that was also really funny. This wildcard came out swinging! He’s gonna make it far I’m sure of it.

I’m not 100% sure about this but after hearing it a second time and going online to look up the clues, I think it might be..

Bobby Berk (from the new Queer Eye)

This sounds off the wall, but Bobby used to be in a Christian rock band as a kid so it isn’t super strange that he has a great voice. Here are the clues that convinced me:

Life all about metamorphosis= Queer Eye is all about transformation

Left home at a young age, was homeless, started stealing to make ends meet, parents told him he would be in jail and was right= when he came out as gay, his really religious parents kicked him out at age 15 leaving him homeless and he went to jail a few times because he was stealing

Taylor Swift knows him= he was featured in her You Need to Calm Down music video with the rest of the Fab Five

Great Lakes, basketball, stage of Michigan= Queer Eye group is called Fab Five which is also the name of the basketball team from University of Michigan

Speed Dating Clue: pick Robin because won’t “take his eyes off his printed patterns”= he’s a home designer and prints do catch their eyes… reference to what he does on Queer Eye and his home renovation line which features many prints

Anyways, that’s it! I hope you guys enjoyed this! I’ll see you next week for the next episode. Like, comment, and follow for more. Also,check out my Twitter which is the same username as this Tumblr where I live tweet about the show! Bye guys 👋🏼

#the masked singer #celebrities #themaskedsinger #the masked singer season 6 #music #hollywood #tv shows #pointer sisters #ruth pointer

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wexarexmadxhere-archive · 3 years

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Jason Stackhouse; Muse Info

Full Name; Jason Stackhouse Nickname; Jay Face Claim; Ryan Kwanten Gender; Male Pronouns; He / Him Marital Status; Single Sexuality; Bisexual Age; 35 Date Of Birth; May 30th Occupation ; Deputy / Cop Residence ; Bon Temps, Louisiana Species ; Werewolf or Fae Hierarchy ; Beta Family ; Sookie Stackhouse Verses ; None Biography / Timelines ; Canon ; Jason W. Stackhouse is the brother of protagonist Sookie Stackhouse on the HBO original series True Blood. Played by Australian starring actor Ryan Kwanten, and American child actor Labon Hester during flashbacks of a young Jason, Jason makes his debut in the series 'premiere episode, "Strange Love", in the series' first season. A sheriff deputy working for the Bon Temps Police Station in the small town of Bon Temps, Louisiana, Jason was a womanizer and former member of the Fellowship of the Sun. Playing a recurring role through the series' first, second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh seasons, Jason marries Brigette, a microbiologist from Alaska, and the former girlfriend of Jason's best friend since childhood Hoyt Fortenberry. One of only four characters to appear in every episode, Early life ; Jason was born to Corbett and Michelle Stackhouse in Bon Temps, Louisiana. He has one sister, Sookie, who is younger by three years. At the age of 11, Michelle and Corbett were murdered by the vampire Macklyn Warlow. According to Bud Dearborne, - the-then Sheriff of Renard Parish - the cause of death was presumed to be drowning when their vehicle was found washed out during a flash flood. Because this event occurred before the Great Revelation, the bite marks found on the bodies were assumed to be caused by alligators. After their deaths, Sookie and Jason were both left in the care of their paternal grandmother Adele Stackhouse. Jason's best friend throughout his childhood was Hoyt Fortenberry, whom he often defended against school bullies. As a teenager, they both played on their high school football team; Jason was the star quarterback. At around 13 or 14, he lost his virginity to one of his teachers, Jill Steeler, which triggered a rather promiscuous adolescence and young adulthood. At 18, Jason moved back into his parents' old house. He worked as a supervisor of a road crew that included his friends Hoyt, René Lenier, and Lafayette Reynolds. At the beginning of the series, Jason is notorious in Bon Temps for being a womanizer, having bedded nearly every young woman in town, including Sookie's friend and fellow Merlotte's waitress Dawn Green.

#wexarexmadxhere; muse #Muse Info #🏷 tag drop #Jason Stackhouse #Jason #c; Jason #🎶Jason's Playlist🎶#Jason wants #Musings; Jason #Closet; Jason #HC; Jason #Shifted; Jason #wexarexmadxhere; true blood character

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aragima · 4 years

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hannibal questions! 🍖🔪

@nietzscheantrout @horrorlesbians and @hanniba1 wanted me to answer these hannibal questions and i wrote too much but oh well! thanks to all 3 of you ilu!!!

favorite episode and why: oh we’re just goin straight to the hard questions huh um OKAY so i think i can only do an ep a season - s1: SORBET SUPREMACY! you get to see the exact moment will looks at hannibal and thinks “.........shit. it’s him isn’t it. he’s The One. SHIT.” and that is so important to me - s2: this one is really hard maybe naka-choko? it’s so fucking gay and sexy. but tome-wan... but mizumono............ yeah idk - s3: torn between digestivo and the wrath of the lamb cuz they both hurt SOOO good much; i love will breaking up with hannibal and hannibal manipulating the situation so will can’t leave asldkjansk it’s so toxic we have to stan..... and for twotl i mean do i really have to give a reason every scene LIVES in my mind and it contains my favorite shot in the whole show:

that is LOVE baby! that is DESIRE! that is being ENTHRALLED!!!!

least favorite episode and why: i feel like they’re all so necessary that it’s kind of impossible to say but probably antipasto. i get sick of hannibal and bedelia’s shenanigans really quickly and as much as i hate to admit it... i miss will. i also think it was an extremely weak season opener and i blame it for getting the show canceled sjshshsgsg the resentment...

favorite side character: chiyoh or jimmy or actually wait— RANDALL TIER 🖤

if you could bring back one character who died, who would it be?: RANDALL FUCKING TIER. i want there to be a weird thing with him and hannibal and will going on. but also i love what his death did for will so idfk, other than him it’s gotta be beverly

dish prepared in the show that you would like to try eating/making: i was supposed to make hannibal’s osso bucco recipe like 3 weeks ago but it completely slipped my mind so i guess i’ll get on that my next grocery trip

which side character would you kill off?: chilton just because for god’s sake just let the man DIE ALREADY poor guy <- i’m taking ava’s answer because YEAH

was there any scene that you didn’t like to look at?: nah. the skin ripping scenes at the beginning of either kaiseki or sakizuki (idk i don’t remember, i hardly watch s2a) are particularly brutal but i tough it out

biggest ship: i mean do i even have to say

why did you start watching hannibal?: my wife, who was my girlfriend at the time, and her dad were watching it as it was airing and i was like “oh cool hannibal lecter origin story” but due to inconsistent access to the episodes i would just watch it randomly and that is... not the way to watch hannibal. i gave up around the end of s2 but knew hannigram was It regardless. i decided to watch s3 for the first time earlier this year just to have finished it and was like HOLD UP and did an immediate rewatch that left me... well, how i am now

favorite hannibal fic if you’ve read any?:

oh boy. yall ready for this? all of these can be found on ao3 obviously (i’m so sorry this is so long but i guess i’ve been asked to put together a fic rec anyway)

as soft, as wide as air by blackknightsatellite, the ladders series by emungere, blackbird by emungere, consenting to dream series by emungere, taken for rubies by emungere, at first meeting by emungere, protect me from what i want by @alienfuckeronmain, god of the cold, cold wars by highermagic, the abyss smiled back by highermagic, pomegranate seeds by highermagic, absolute zero by highermagic, in the truly gruesome do we trust by sidnihoudini, TKO by sidnihoudini, oh dear by lunarwench, each according to its kind by chapparral_crown, a flood in our hearts by nanoochka, let me sinful be by darlingred, uncomplicated by stratumgermanitivum & youaremydesign, good bones by @damnslippyplanet, like they do in babylon by @damnslippyplanet, your obedient servant by kareliasweet, past our satellites by shotgunsinlace, only the tender meat by isagel, the shape of me will always be you by missdisoriental, a white-walled room by rodabonor, spleen et idéal by rodabonor, the paper doll series by rodabonor, a common point of interest by rodabonor [i do NOT like a/b/o stuff but if i did... it’s this fic], just thought you should know by earthsickwithoutyou, the sacrificial lamb by princesskay, transcendent suffering by itsbeautiful, not something polite by moistdrippings, leave your message after the tone by onewhositswithturtles, holes in the floor of the mind by feverdreamblood, crossing caina by feverdreamblood, the archipelago series by melusine10, but seas between us braid hae roar’d by kareliasweet

have you watched any of the hannibal films?: yeah all of them except manhunter! i grew up watching silence of the lambs because my mom loved it and i went thru a big edward norton phase as a teen so i’ve seen red dragon like 10 times

have you read the thomas harris books?: no and i’m not going to lmao #fakefan

favorite murder tableau: if we’re talking just hannibal’s- the judge. if we’re talking Murder Bad But Kinda Pretty like in general probably the mushroom people or the totem

favorite blood spill: will imagining hannibal while he beats randall to death or The Gutting of Will Graham

what’re some of your headcanons?: - will is good at shibari (backed up in canon: his fishing knots, the firefly man’s full body hishi karada harness) - hannibal rarely listens to modern, non-classical music but he’s a björk fan and he saw one of her chapel performances during the vespertine era and was Moved - will listens to classic rock (zeppelin, the doors, pink floyd) with some classic country (patsy, merle, johnny) and blues (billie, muddy, bessie) thrown in. he’s also a sucker for early/mid-90s college rock/alternative/grunge - will plays the piano (because of the piano in his living room) and the harmonica (because he’s country white trash); he’s kind of shit tho - hannibal fell for will somewhere between “my thoughts are often not tasty” and “you won’t like me when i’m psychoanalyzed” (love at first sight! at last sight! at ever and ever sight!!!) - will’s circumcised, hannibal isn’t 🤪 - hannibal’s a gemini!!!! adaptable, creative, intelligent, outgoing, impulsive, etc - will’s an aquarius!!!!! analytical, a loner, temperamental, unique, compassionate, etc - will’s mom was jewish go read my fic about it https://archiveofourown.org/works/26774326 - hannibal is an agender man (tbh i think of this as canon, it’s just unstated/undefined) - hannibal can speak russian, spanish, and a teensy bit of portuguese in addition to the other languages we know he speaks (lithuanian, english, french, italian, japanese) - will speaks limited amounts of french; he learned it as a kid in louisiana - ED TW will sometimes has a Difficult relationship with food due to food instability by the way of poverty as a kid and goes through periods where it’s hard to keep himself fed, but hannibal is so good for him in that way because he keeps him from going hungry 😓 (yes this is me projecting but also it makes SENSE) - hannibal typically bottoms but THEY DEFINITELY ARE BOTH VERS and will never stops being surprised by how much he loves catching a dick. every time is like religious experience. okay? okay - they’re also both very kinky and switches but tbh.... will was made to Dom hannibal like that’s the reason he exists he could drag that old bitch around by a leash and hannibal would be in heaven HANNIBAL WOULD CALL HIM SIR - the first time they have sex hannibal comes like immediately but he isn’t embarrassed because he’s hannibal fucking lecter and hannibal lecter doesn’t get embarrassed - i have a hc for their favorite sex positions but i’m not gonna put that here because i don’t want yall calling me crazy any more than you probably already do but if you wanna know just DM me all i do is think about them fucking it’s a curse - okay no more dirty stuff abigail called hannibal “dad” on more than one occasion and it was half-joking but it also felt comfortable to her; she never thought to call will “dad” because he’s a weirdo and never knew her as much as he knew his idea of her - hannibal taught her to play piano at the cliff house - beverly is pansexual!!! - brian and jimmy kissed one time when they were drunk and they NEVER talk about it EVER - chiyoh is straight probably. i know, i know, everyone says she’s a lesbian and if she’s a lesbian to you that’s awesome! she’s a lesbian! but idk i just think she’s SO fucking straight and tbh i mourn bc that’s my wife. she could MAYBE be bicurious... - chiyoh is non-monogamous and doesn’t do serious relationships, she doesn’t like the idea of being tied to one person ever since she left the lecter castle - she helped hannibal and will escape after The Fall; she told hannibal she would continue to watch over him and i think she did, she got them a boat and got them the fuck out of there - MOLLY IS DOING SO MUCH BETTER WITHOUT WILL. SHE’S SO GLAD SHE GOT OUT OF THAT WHEN SHE DID. she has a good, long talk with alana and finds out all the shit about him and hannibal that will never told her (and it was a lot), gets drunk and burns all his shit, and then washes her hands of the whole thing; moves to a different state, gets a girlfriend, and never thinks about will again

okay i’m capping it there or i’m never gonna stop!! i’m not tagging anyone cuz i think everyone has done this by now lmao but if you’re a mutual who hasn’t and you want to just do it and say i tagged you!! mwah!!!!

#blood #long post #hannigram fic rec #hc

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sdghgffh · 3 years

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If you only knew what a lot of fine things

If you only knew what a lot of fine things she says to me! I should never have thought of it myself — I’ve not been brought up like that, I haven’t been properly educated. See what our judges had to say about this piece. Through networks of 339 BMW passenger car and BMW Sports Activity Vehicle centers, 139 BMW motorcycle retailers, 119 MINI passenger car dealers, and 35 Rolls Royce Motor Car dealers. “Watch the maester’s tower. Yurkhaz zo Yunzak had read his histories, he knew. He fell back in his chair as though he could not control himself. "We had some of the same ideas and we were in it for the athletes and there were rules to follow that were set by the state and there were no ifs, ands or buts about it and me and her were on the same page about it. This Indian team doesn't have it in them. As for those who would never be ready, well, not every boy was meant to be a knight. 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kpopisamood · 4 years

Text

Queen’s Clan { 18 }

Summary: y/n is plagued by nightmares. She realizes that the more she runs away, the less frequently they haunt her. However, in running away, she’s also running straight into her ultimate demise. Will she be saved in time by those who would lay down their lives for her, even if they don’t know of each other’s existence?

Monsta X/Reader, Human/Vampire(s), Reverse Harem

Warnings: none

Word count: 2.06k

Tag list: @noonaduck @lovinggalaxies @elenaramos1 @girlwith-thecinder-blockgarden @snowythellama @stargazersara @luvthatleader-nim @jooheonbee @vincent-stargogh @perrshian @kurochan3 @imbxckytrash @joonsgotthejuice @mymymywonderland @2ka-tja2 @qween-of-trash @senpai-creampai

***

12 years ago

An incessant pounding rounded on the door, causing him to tear away from one of his servant’s necks. He was about to dive back in, when the pounding resumed and he growled, shoving the meek body away from him and stalking towards the door before throwing it open.

“What.” He ground out.

The two guards’ eyes widened in panic as they took in their master’s appearance. His shirt was tattered and torn across his chest and sleeve, showcasing fresh lacerations that were rapidly healing underneath. Blood dripped from his mouth, staining his perfectly porcelain teeth with a pinkish hue.

Before he lunged for them for interrupting his meal, the other guard spoke. “Sire, it’s Kihyun.”

Those words were enough for him to run past the two in a blur, leaving them in a stupor.

Kihyun was everything to him. If he was hurt or worse, he wouldn’t be able to live with himself.

The lean man stormed into his room, nearly ripping the door off its hinges to see his Clan Mate in shambles on the ground.

Kihyun was worse for wear. He was shaking and in a cold sweat, mumbling miscellaneous phrases and words that made no sort of sense to him but he knew Kihyun saw a bigger picture. He just couldn’t voice it yet.

“Breathe, Ki. Just breathe with me. Come back to me.” He murmured, overtaking the older boy and holding him against his frame.

He listened to his heart racing, slowly coming down to a normal pace while Kihyun took deeper breaths and counted to himself. It would take approximately 1,200 seconds to come down. Or, 20 minutes to others. But he counted each moment just the same. Every single one precious.

Episodes like these were few and far in between, but were taken as seriously as a heart attack and dealt with only by Hyungwon.

But this episode really shook Kihyun. And anything that caused him this much panic, caused Hyungwon panic.

“What did you see?” Hyungwon prodded while leaning on Kihyun’s shoulder.

“We won’t be alone for long.” He sighed against him.

“Oh?” He questioned, inhaling his intoxicating scent and zeroing in on a pulsating vein.

“A lost Queen will join us.” Kihyun closed his eyes before he felt the younger one’s teeth pierce his flesh once more.

***

Hyungwon was relentless. The man sent gifts upon gifts to your new house, which was conveniently closer to his domain than the boys’ house was, entirely unplanned.

Your new nest had three stories and had a homey vibe, complete with a rustic decor that contained exposed ceiling beams in rooms like the living room and bedrooms with stone fireplaces in the dining room and den area. You’d made sure to ask specifically for a deck where you could escape to every so often and you realized the accounts left in your name were still intact even after spending enough for a lifetime. You didn’t want to seem shallow with your newfound wealth, but your Mates reassured you there were far worse divas that nearly went bankrupt to express their extravagant lifestyles and you wanted to put the rest of your money into savings should anything happen.

The gifts Hyungwon sent weren’t huge or expensive, ranging from a simple chocolate chip to a small orchid, but they were rather annoying to your Mates. One, because it got your attention. Two, because a Queen Killer was getting your attention. They tried desperately to get your mind off of whatever Hyungwon wanted from you and their possessive sides were coming out now more than ever.

But you weren’t going to be pushed around.

Hyungwon could send you all the gifts in the world and try and make you join him. Your Mates could try and boss you around and keep you sheltered.

But you were a Queen.

Not just in that, you’re a strong, independent being phrase but an actual Queen. You had your own land and could set your own rules and no one could tell you what to do.

The testosterone was downright annoying and you needed a break from everyone wanting your attention. So, naturally, you called Sonaelina and Astor for a weekend getaway.

***

“You mean, we’re ditching our Clans?” Astor asked, laughing at the idea of it.

“Taking a break.” Sonaelina corrected. “Y/N needs time to just relax and honestly, so do I.”

“You went on vacation with Jaebum last weekend.” Astor pointed out.

“And do you really think I got time to relax with him? I didn’t think so.” Sonaelina huffed.

Their exchange made you laugh and shake your head. The relationship between the two consisted of bickering but it was all love.

“How did you guys get so close?” You asked, taking a sip of your slightly alcoholic juice. You’d taken the offer Sonaelina had given you up and Astor was already here when you arrived. All three of you now sat outside on Sonaelina’s porch, watching the rain and talking about life.

“Astor was around six years old when we met. She was already Awakened a year prior when I came into my own.” Sonaelina explained, mixing her drink around with a straw and sipping it once more. “I was around thirteen and saw this little shit running around and found her infuriating as hell but somehow couldn’t turn her away whenever she needed help.”

“I’m kind of accident prone,” Astor started, looking off into the downpour that enveloped the space outside the covered porch. “When I first Awakened, I terrified the Elders. They didn’t think I could control my affinities and they were...right.” She smiled sadly. All at once, the temperature dropped and the rain turned into ice flurries.

You almost forgot about the powers.

“‘Ria, Louisiana isn’t supposed to get this much ice.” Sonaelina reprimanded softly before a streak of lightning flashes across the sky and the ice flurries turned back into thick drops of rain, pelting the muddy ground once more.

“They tried locking me up. But when you try cornering a child with no known limits on their affinities, it doesn’t end pretty. Sonaelina was the only one who could get close enough with her gifts that I just had to let her in. Ever since, we’ve been family.” Astor chuckled.

“What do you think about Kings?” You asked.

“I don’t.” Sonaelina laughed before sipping her alcohol again. “I’ve got everything I need right here.” She smiled fondly in a daze, thinking of her Clan and her home. She had a real family dynamic going for her and she wasn’t about to turn things upside down for a King.

“We’ve all been approached by Kings who are deteriorating in status, but why would we want to give up everything for them?” Astor nodded along thoughtfully.

“You’d have to give up everything?” You asked.

“Well, yes. Kings are very prideful. They would never allow a Queen to keep her Clan if they somehow got together with her. Has a King approached you lately, Y/N?” Sonaelina asked tentatively.

“Chae Hyungwon has.” You replied hesitantly. Not exactly knowing if this was something you could trust with the two but wanting to be able to depend on them. There was something so authentic about their relationship and it made you want to open up to them. To have friends like them.

“Ah, the Queen Killer.” Astor nodded, taking a slight sip and wincing.

“Has he killed a Queen before? I’ve heard rumors but do you two know if there’s a factual story behind it?”

“His mother was a Queen and she died giving birth to him. But there are other stories. Long story short it’s just, whenever he’s around a Queen they end up dead in some bizarre way that no one can really explain. I honestly think Kihyun has something to do with it; his Clan mate. Kihyun has the gift of sight and I’m sure Hyungwon uses his gifts to his advantage.” Sonaelina answered solemnly.

“Clan mates can have gifts like we can?”

“Erm-speaking of gifts, what are yours Y/N?” Astor interrupted.

The change of topic wasn’t lost to you but if you were to keep these two as friends, you couldn’t push too much. Not yet. “I’m not too sure about my gifts. I didn’t exactly grow up in this life and I’m still a bit hesitant on the whole blood thing let alone powers.” You stated with a slight frown. Would you be in control of fire and lightning like Sonaelina? Or ice like Astor? You hadn’t given much thought to the powers you could possibly have, but now it bothered you that you hadn’t tried to see exactly which kinds you’d have. Surely, as kids, we all tried to see if we were Telekinetic. That if we stared long and hard enough at our light switches across the room, they’d magically flip to the opposite circuit. Wishful thinking at its best.

But now, checking to see what kind of powers you had wasn’t just an imaginative activity. You could actually have some form of powers and all you had to do was check.

“I’ve got an idea.” Astor smirked before hauling you up and nearly ripping your arm off in the process of cackling at your confused stare. Sonaelina shrugged and walked after you two, in no sort of rush.

Astor had pulled you into a double door studio, complete with a whole wall of mirrors to one side. Sonaelina waltzed in not too long after, drink still in hand as she watched Astor set things up with an amused expression.

“Ah, shit. I forgot. Do you want to try and find your power with us? It’s usually an intimate thing you know before you’re Awakened, but we didn’t think to ask!” Astor sputtered.

“We?” Sonaelina chuckled while Astor sent a glare in her direction.

“I guess we could try a couple things, right? It wouldn’t hurt.” You agreed.

Astor had set on three items on a row of pillows on the ground and she gestured you to come sit across from her. On one pillow was a patch of grass. The next one contained a teacup of water and the last had dark rocks with scraps of material surrounding them.

“All you’re gonna do is focus on each one and we see if it reacts. Nothing too strenuous since these are the basics! Usually, Queens have an affinity for at least one of these elements so I thought to just bring these out and test our luck! Try to focus on the embers! They’re just about put out but maybe you can rekindle them?”

You frowned before turning your attention to the rocks on the far right. You kept thinking of fire as you stared down at the rocks, picturing a massive fire or even a quick flick of flame.

No such luck.

“Bummer, maybe you’re a water hoe?” Sonaelina reassured.

“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with being a water hoe!” Astor admonished before letting you focus on the teacup.

Same result. Nada.

You sighed before massaging your temples, getting slightly frustrated.

“Maybe you’re an earth girl? If not, you could always control more complicated elements! Don’t lose hope.” Astor added.

Each element was not to your liking. Or rather, you weren’t to their liking.

Sonaelina was on the ground with you two now and trying to comfort you as best she could while encouraging you to keep trying, but it was futile. You’d had enough. You huffed and rolled your eyes before asking if you could just go back to hanging out and both girls quickly agreed, not wanting to upset their newfound friend.

The moment all three of you left, activity erupted between the elements simultaneously.

The fire sizzled out, the water dried up, and the grass patch was burnt to a crisp.

#kpop #kpop fic #monsta x fic #monsta x x reader #monsta x x you #ot7 x you #ot7 x reader #kpop fanfic #monsta x #monsta x fanfic

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notebooknebula · 4 years

Video

youtube

How to Build a Passive Rental Portfolio with Lane Kawaoka

https://www.jayconner.com/how-to-build-a-passive-rental-portfolio-with-lane-kawaoka/

Jay Conner (00:09): Well hello and welcome back to another exciting episode of Real Estate Investing with Jay Conner. I'm Jay Conner, your host and The Private Money Authority. And if this is your first time to the show, I want to give you a special welcome here on the show. We talk about everything related to real estate investing. We talk about all kinds of deals, we talk about single family houses, apartments, commercial land, sell storage and on and on and on. And if you've been following and listening in for a little while, you know I've had just some amazing guests and experts here on the show and today is no exception. But before I bring on my special guests today, I've got a free gift for everybody and that is if you are looking for more funding for your deals, regardless of what your mortgage broker or your hard money lender or such my site, I've got a free on demand online class that gives you the 5 steps that shows you exactly how I went from having no funding to over $2 million in funding in less than 90 days.

Jay Conner (01:12): So you can check it out and get right on over to www.JayConner.com/MoneyPodcast. So with that, I am so excited to have as my guest today, a good friend of mine also, we're in a mastermind group. His name is Lane Kawaoka and he currently owns 2,600 units as in apartments and et cetera across the United States. What you're going to love about listening to Lane today is that he is truly a virtual investor, meaning he lives in Hawaii, but all of his investments are in elsewhere in the United States. So we recently quit his day job as a professional engineer and he is now enjoying the wealth and the freedom that I know all of you all are looking for.

Jay Conner (02:11): So what Lane does is he partners with investors who want to build a portfolio but are too busy to mess with the tenants and the toilets and the termites, et cetera, by curating opportunities. And his company, which was called the HUI Deal Pipeline Club. Whereas investors have personal access to him and know that Lane is perfectly putting his money on the line too as well. Well, his pipeline club has acquired over $155 million of real estate and it's acquired by syndicating over $15 million of private equity just since 2016 so he's also another great connection as I am in this world of private money. So what Lane does is he reverse engineers the wealth building strategies that the rich use to the middle class via the 50 investing podcast, which you can check out. It's SimplePassiveCashflow.com and Lane's mission is to help hardworking professionals out of the rat race one free strategy call at a time. So with that, Lane welcome to the show!

Lane Kawaoka (03:15): Hey, thanks for having me, Jay. Aloha!

Jay Conner (03:17): Aloha. I love it. I love it. Like what's that thing you call when you put them around the neck and they welcome you to Hawaii, a lei. There you go. There you go. Yeah, well, as I said about Lane and I are in a high end mastermind group and we've gotten to know each other and in fact we were in the same focus group at our last mastermind meeting and I was just very, very intrigued with Lane and what he's got going on and it's therefore invited him here to the show. So whether you are a investor with capital or if you are a real estate investor and you're just sort of tired of going to the local REIA club, hanging around some broke people and you actually want to change what that looks like, you're definitely going to want to tune in today closely and learn how to connect with Lane. So Lane, give us your background story. How did you get, well, first of all, before you give us your background story, give us an overview of what you've got going on in this world of real estate investing. I mean, you've got over 2,600 units. What does that look like?

Lane Kawaoka (04:23): Yeah. So I'm kind of more evolved buy and hold investor instead of buying one of single family homes these days, I get sent apartment deals that get syndicated and I get to know the operators and sponsors and I do my due diligence, run the numbers, get the PNLs and rent rolls. Then I see if I want to invest and to bring along my investors with me.

Jay Conner (04:45): I got you. So you just said through syndication, just to make sure everybody understands what we're talking about. What do you mean when you say syndication?

Lane Kawaoka (04:56): Yeah, so a lot of these properties that, you know, say you're buying a hundred unit building, you know, you're going to need a couple of million dollars with down payment and you know, potentially funding from someone like yourself. But you know, you're going to get that private equity raise to get the big loan with the bank who controls 80% of it and you're going to pick up a $5 million property. Most people don't have $2 million lying around, nor is it very smart to you know, most of my investors, we go by this principle, we don't put any more than 5% of our net worth and to any one deal, [right?] So we diversify it over multitude of these types of syndications.

Jay Conner (05:38): So really what we're saying, when you say syndication, what we're talking about is using other people's money, private money, and having them invest into the deals with you. Right?

Lane Kawaoka (05:46): Right, right. So we create a couple of asset classes for general partners and limited partners, you know, limit partners, very little liability. They don't do anything other than bring your money in and check some monthly statements and hopefully we all get to the destination. Right?

Jay Conner (06:05): Exactly. Exactly. So you're living in Hawaii, none of your investments are there. All of your commercial properties are elsewhere in the United States. So how do you decide where you want to invest and where to go look for deals?

Lane Kawaoka (06:23): Yeah, I mean, my first criteria is cash flow. So the rent to value ratio is kind of what governs where I even start looking. So just like when I was buying single family homes, you know, I'm looking for a hundred thousand dollar house that rents for at least a thousand dollars a month. Because at that point I know I can pay all my expenses, all my mortgage expenses, and have a little bit buffer there to be able to cash flow because let's face it, I think over sessions coming up in the future and you know, even if the price goes down a little bit, I still want to be able to cash flow

Jay Conner (06:59): sure. That makes sense. So is there any particular area of the country or cities that you are focusing on or not focusing on?

Lane Kawaoka (07:09): Yeah, I mean most of the deals that I kind of look at are in the Southeast. More of the red States with very landlord friendly and a lot of blue color job force growth out there. A lot of manufacturing. Some of these places might be more tertiary market settlers. People hear less about, you know, like a Huntsville, Alabama, Birmingham, Alabama, Gulf port, Mississippi, Lake Charles, Louisiana. You know, those are typical markets that we like to target as emerging markets.

Jay Conner (07:43): I got ya. So let's say you know, you've determined a particular city or area or the Southeast that you want to focus on. So where do you go find the deals? I mean there's other websites that you use. Do you use direct mail campaigns? I mean, if somebody is starting out, where do they go to look?

Lane Kawaoka (08:01): Yeah, I mean if you're starting out, I mean, I hate to say this, but you don't have a shot. I mean, I think in single family homes, we can all agree, most deals, 80% of them are found off market in the commercial realm, over 50 units, 80% of deals are controlled by brokers. Unless you close a hundred or 200 units before, he ain't going to get a shot at closing. This next one, people are saying, well, what about the other 20% that are out there? It's like, yeah, you can direct market a sophisticated seller who owns an apartment, but unless that property is some huge issues and you know, I target properties that are 90% occupied or more, so I can get that qualified for them. Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, non-recourse Monday, I won't really want to deal with those 20% problem property even though they're out there. So it's an unfair game.

Jay Conner (08:54): Yeah. So you

Jay Conner (08:56): say if you've never done one of these deals is going to be very hard for you to break in. So how does somebody start?

Lane Kawaoka (09:04): Well, I mean that's where most of our investors, they've done a bunch of single family homes. They fill up their net worth to be half a million dollars or more. They've gotten sophisticated in terms of they know the risks of real estate and they know how it works. But then they come into deals as a passive investor and they invest anywhere from $30,000 to $50,000 into a deal. And it's kind of buying your way into a big company. But it's, you know, you know the operators,

Jay Conner (09:36): right? So in other words, to really get started in this game, you need to be partnering up someone starting out. It needs to be like partnering up with someone like you that's already got the relationships that already knows the ropes that already knows how to do the workings of the deal. Right?

Lane Kawaoka (09:52): Right! And because we follow, we follow SPC protocol and there's a big thing about mass smart it being out there. So a lot of it, is you have to have a preexisting relationship with the sponsor you're going to work with. [Right] Most deals out there, 90 to 97% of deals are for non-acute investors, but you need to have a preexisting relationship.

Jay Conner (10:18): Exactly. I got you. So what's a realistic ride-over return that people can anticipate to get in these types of deals?

Lane Kawaoka (10:26): You know, from the get go, a lot of these properties with prudent leverage on it, your cash line, you know, high single digits, you know, maybe 8% that's usually, but these properties along of course cap rate compression has kind of taken over and it's hard to find these properties, which is why you've got to get about a thousand properties to find one that actually works. But the kind of deals that we kind of folk it's on or actually today, but there's some kind of value add opportunity. For example, putting about $4,000 into every unit with new paint, new flooring. And then it's just like on a pig. So they, we can raise those rents. 50 a hundred dollars if you get that bump in net operating income, which in commercial real estate, that's your operating income divided by your cap rate equals your, market place.

Jay Conner (11:22): Okay. So lane, you know, we hear people in your space and apartments talking about primary, you know, secondary, you know, other types of markets. So what's your comment and thought about, you know, should you invest in particular kinds of markets or not invest in particular kinds of markets?

Lane Kawaoka (11:42): Yeah, so I mean just to kind of define it for folks who don't know what primary, secondary, tertiary markets are. Primary markets are your top tier markets like Los Angeles, Hawaii, York, San Francisco, Seattle. You're not going to find the rent to value ratios out there to be able to cash flow. Now you know, I'm not going to knock anybody strategy in terms of investing, but my strategy is I want to cash flow on the property because my number one was not to lose money. You know, [that's a good rule.] You know that whole, you know, investing in those kinds of markets. Yeah. Everybody wants to live in a place like Seattle or San Francisco and generally the prices are going to be going up. But you know, we all seen what happened in the past and there's always going to be another recession where the prices kind of tank.

Lane Kawaoka (12:36): Again, I would rather skew my portfolio to more of, Hey, the property creates more rental income than it has an expenses and it can support itself. You regardless of what the market price is and when I can do that, I can sell at the right time whenever I want, at my price I want to be in. So to do that you need to go to a little bit off the beaten path to secondary markets like Birmingham, Atlanta, Indianapolis, Kansas City, Memphis, Little Rock or tertiary markets, which are about 50 a hundred thousand in population. Like you know, I guess El Paso is probably a larger Trisha market, but a Lake, Charles, Louisiana, Huntsville, Alabama would be good examples of tertiary markets.

Jay Conner (13:24): All right, I got you now. So that's the markets. So let's talk about for a moment the different kinds of properties or assets. So you know, in the commercial world you hear people talking about class A, assets class B, assets, class C assets. First of all, define for everybody what are these different types of classes of assets and what should you invest in?

Lane Kawaoka (13:48): Yeah, so the A-class or your brand new properties, these are the luxury assets that you know are usually brand new builds built anywhere from the last 20 years till now. The class B assets are kind of your 1980s 1990s vintage, a little bit older. And then the class C assets are like your 1950s to 1970s it doesn't go by age. There's no hard and fast rule, but you know, you talk to a broker, of course they're gonna bump up the rating on you for one grade, right? But you know, investors, you know, kinda know this lingo and they can kind of know what kind of class of building it is. But you know, just like how I said you don't invest in primary markets, you don't really want to be investing for class a luxury. We kind of target class B and C because that's where we can get a bargain. And we're not competing with unsophisticated investors just looking for a choppy asset. Right.

Jay Conner (14:45): That makes sense. Now you've mentioned a couple of times, you know there's another recession coming and of there always is. Nobody knows when for sure, but I know that you practice what you preach and you invest in what you would call recession proof assets. So other than say apartments or rentals, I have you got any other, of course nothing's guaranteed, but anything, any other what you would refer to as recession? Proof of assets?

Lane Kawaoka (15:15): Yeah, I mean another option are like mobile home parks. You know, I think when you talk about mobile home parks, people think about trailer homes, which that scares a lot of people off and that's a good sign. When people are scared on sophisticated, dumb money doesn't follow. So mobile home parks in a recession, if what you're thinking is people are going to the A class, people are going to move to the Bs, the Bs, they're going to move to the Cs and move into mobile home parks. It's an asset class that they aren't going to build any more of because of late on, no politician wants the responsible for permitting a mobile home park and also mobile home parks. Don't generate revenue for the city. So cities and counties don't want them, so they're, you know, most people in America believe it or not make under $30,000 and they need good housing like mobile home parks. That's one form. I'm, you know, I'm kind of getting into that a little bit. I know apartments the best, but I understand it's smart to invest in different asset classes. It's still sort of impacted by the economy. If you want to really go to the deep end and get totally non for later with the economy, I would say like settlement investing would be another good one. You know, investing off people's life insurances when they die, you get paid. Is that Saint out there? Nothing guaranteed more than death and taxes. Right?

Jay Conner (16:38): Right! Interesting. Interesting. Now I heard you mentioned this a few minutes ago, but I want to drill down on it. You referred to the rent to value ratio and that's you know, a common phrase in the broader commercial. So first of all, explain to everybody what do you mean by rent to value ratio and then what is your rule of thumb on what the ratio needs to be for the deal to make sense?

Lane Kawaoka (17:00): Yeah, so you know, just a quick example, some of the first properties when I was purchasing rental properties was a hundred thousand dollar house that rented for a thousand dollars a month. Threats evaluation. As you take the monthly rent divided by the purchase price, and that's the rent to value ratio, you're looking for something 1% or higher, 2% awesome. But it's sort of hard to find good areas. That's not a war zone, but you know, you're going to have to put it into the spreadsheet and go down. But line by line and every expense and income, but from a quick and dirty way of doing this, that the rent to value ratio above 1% is a good indicator that shows good cash flow, now I invest off cash flow. That may not be your, your listeners personal strategy. But when I'm investing off cash, I look for that 1% indicator. You know, like here in Hawaii, you know, this million dollar house rents for $3,000 a month. That's a 0.3%

Jay Conner (18:04): that works doesn't fit your formula, does it?

Lane Kawaoka (18:06): Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's the California will say no one all, you know, that doesn't work.

Jay Conner (18:12): Right. I got you. And you know I know this about you Lane, and that is, you know, it wasn't too long ago that you retired from your day job as an engineer, but you've been building this empire of real estate assets while doing a day job. How in the world do you do that? How do you find the time to do the, you know, actionable items that you gotta do in order to build this kind of investment company while you're working full time?

Lane Kawaoka (18:45): Yeah, I mean when I was just picking up single family homes my first five, seven years, you know, I use property management companies, you know, they're well worth, but 10% of your income that you bring in. Someone told me that you know, you don't do things unless you can scale it to seven acres and a single family homes are a great way to get started. Especially turnkey rentals. You know, like my first 20 podcasts were all about turnkey rentals, how I started. But as your network grows, you kind of drift into more syndications and private placements like all I have. And yes we use property managers, but there's also asset managers who are another layer of managers who kind of make sure we're doing the right thing with the asset and they are partners aligned with the passive investors. So everybody has skin in the game. And that's a key component that I don't invest without.

Jay Conner (19:40): Well that makes sense. That makes sense. Well, Lane, I know we put together a special URL for my listeners, which is www.jayconner.com/Lane, and tell our audience what is that URL address and why would they want to go there?

Lane Kawaoka (20:01): Yeah, so one thing that I've kind of, pretty much the only product I've made is, you know, your network is your net worth is what they say. And I work with high paid professionals who have money, most of which are accredited and you know, to get access to these deals, you've got to build up your network. Unfortunately, the worst place to go is these pre internet forums and the local real estate club because let's face it, they're just a bunch of broke people, you know, how do you prefer, you know they're not going out to be skiing scrapyard or whatnot. Use my podcast, which attracts passive investors and created this little mastermind.

Jay Conner (20:45): Excellent. So folks go to www.JayConner.com/Lane, and that will get you in contact with Lane and have a strategy session with them and have the opportunity to work together with him on commercial projects and invest if you like, and get connected and truly learn what passive income is about. So Lane, parting comments? Last piece of advice for our listeners and audience.

Lane Kawaoka (21:15): Yeah, I mean if people want to book a call, my email is lane@simplepassivecashflow. Just to make sure you tell me that Jay sent you because, and I think that's a big thing. That's why you and I joined these different masterminds, right? Jay like it's all about like it's a small world out there and you know, you never really want to work with some random person, so at least know they came from you. You know, I know that they're, you know, I can kind of follow the breadcrumbs, what kind of, what they're all about.

Jay Conner (21:45): You know, so our viewers have definitely heard me say this before, but I don't know who came up with the phrase that opposites attract. That's stupid. I mean, I want to hang around people that are like me, right? So yes, birds of the same feather do flock together. So anyway, Lane, I'm sure you'll be hearing from a good number of our, audience members Lane. Thank you so much, man, for taking the time to come here on the show and tell folks what you got going on.

Lane Kawaoka (22:12): Yeah, yeah, we'll catch up in a couple months there in San Diego. Good to see you again.

Jay Conner (22:17): You got it. Lane, thank you so much for coming on and I'll see you soon. Well there you have it folks. Thank you for joining in for another episode. I'm Jay Conner, The Private Money Authority, wishing you all the best and here's to taking your real estate investing business to the next level. We'll see you on the next show. Bye for now.

#Lane Kawaoka #Jay Conner #Private Money #Cash flow #passive rental income

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gaiapaia · 3 years

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Kermit and Friends: Calamari Christmas

“I am an admirer of Elisa’s. Elisa has even worked for me. And the fact is that she is talented.” - Howard Stern.

After an introduction featuring endorsements from some of the biggest names in show business such as Howard Stern, Jimmy Kimmel, Natalie Maines, Ryan Phillippe, etc... Kermit and Friends went on to have one of its most star-studded shows yet!

Elisa kicked things off by sharing some wisdom from an online Kabballah course she’s taking, saying she was instructed to pray before ‘everything.’ One of the things she prayed about was for Barry Boss to ease up on the constant calling and messages. God answered her prayers and Barry left Elisa one last message saying he was not going to contact her again until he’s released from the insane asylum. I very much look forward to seeing Barry Boss on Kermit and Friends when he’s back in the real World.

To update last week’s show, we found out that Brandon did have a nice birthday after all. Elisa baked him a cake and got him, according to Brandon, the “best gift ever” with a very thoughtful ‘I sell houses to give my dog a better life’ t-shirt. Those two have a beautiful friendship.

The first big special guest this week is Hollywood movie producer Andre Relis. Andre has produced nearly 50 feature films, including Arkansas (2019) and Outlaws and Angels (2016). Those are the two movies I’ve seen from his credits. Arkansas was pretty good, but as a big Chad Michael Murray fan, I was disappointed in the violence and vileness of Outlaws and Angels. Nobody wants to see CMM star in a movie like that!

Sorry, back to Kermit and Friends. Elisa interviewed Andre for almost 45 minutes, covering his career as a movie producer and also his upbringing. He shared stories about on-set fights he had with actors such as Sam Worthington, expressed his best and worst film production experiences, offered insight about what it’s like to be born into a cult, gave his thoughts on the #MeToo movement, and answered great questions from Kermitarians such as Brandon, Laurie, DJ Smooth, Kevin, Brian from Louisiana, Sugar, Darron, etc.

My favorite part of the interview was the #MeToo discussion. Andre shared a story about Steven Seagal’s inappropriate behavior on the set of a movie called The Perfect Weapon. The #MeToo talk though led to Elisa admitting that she’s used certain guys before for both entertainment and personal purposes, just as women have been used by men in the film industry. Elisa’s example was her time dating Gonzo during the original Kermit and Friends run. I understand Elisa’s point but Gonzo used her too. They used each other. That’s usually the case in situations like that.

Andre talked about his upcoming film The Last Son starring Machine Gun Kelly, which actually led to Elisa proving that her taste in women is almost as bad as her taste in men. Elisa fawned over MGK’s current girlfriend Megan Fox, putting her on a pedestal as the most beautiful woman in the World. Ha! Here’s a quick list of public figures that are easily more beautiful than Megan Fox: Elisa Jordana, Jessica Alba, Victoria Justice, Minka Kelly, and so on!

Before getting to the next superstar guest, Elisa read some fanmail from an ex die-hard fan projecting their own insecurities onto Elisa. It was very funny she read it in the manner she did. I love how Elisa enjoys sharing the vitriol she receives constantly from delusional, jealous, hate-filled maniacs.

Social media sensation Billy the Fridge was Elisa’s next big guest. Billy became infamous during his time on Battlecam, and used that little recognition to further his career with music, Youtube videos, and a podcast called Drunken Peasants, which Elisa will be interviewed on Christmas Eve.

Elisa started the interview by reading, unbeknownst to her, a very inaccurate biography of Billy the Fridge. After Billy corrected Elisa on the misrepresentation that website had of him, they went on to discuss trolls, his beefs with different Youtube personalities, and of course his podcast.

Following the interview, Elisa set up a date between Brandon the Neighbor and Kermit’s old friend, Supertramp. This is Supertramp’s first time being on Kermit and Friends since late 2015 or early 2016. It was great seeing him again and I can’t think of a more perfect way for him to come back than a virtual date with Elisa’s stunning neighbor!

Unfortunately, the date didn’t go so well. Brandon was apprehensive due to the distance between them (Brandon is in Los Angeles, while Supertramp lives in Minnesota), and they were both a bit shy and awkward. It was still a fun segment but hopefully phone numbers can be exchanged and they can at least get to know each other a little better. I’m sure they would make great friends.

After the date, Elisa read a poem about Alexander Octopus Cortez that somehow was just as good, if not better, than the song she wrote for him a couple of weeks back. I shouldn’t be surprised at this point when Elisa’s creativity floors me, but I did not expect the poem to be that awesome, hilarious, and confident. I LOVED it!

Gonzo then called in and asked Elisa about her situation with Stuttering John Melendez. This past weekend, Elisa made a tweet showing that she was blocked by Stuttering John, formally of The Howard Stern Show and a guy who made a few appearances on the original Kermit and Friends. Elisa suggested she was blocked by Stuttering John because she didn’t want to go hiking with him after he repeatedly asked her for months, while John hysterically made a video suggesting the real reason he blocked Elisa was because she told him to “repent.” He didn’t say what led her to telling him to repent, which I found suspicious. John mentioned Elisa hating porn in the video... why would he bring that up? Just speculation on my part, but I think John sent a pornographic picture of himself to Elisa without her consent, and when she responded with “REPENT!” he blocked her. Again, just speculating despite how perfectly logical it is!

The show concluded with an awesome live performance of Santa Claus is Coming to Town by the wonderful John Bolton. It was a great way to end this special Christmas edition of Kermit and Friends. I sincerely hope everyone reading this is having the happiest of holidays and I can’t wait to review what will surely be another amazing episode of Kermit and Friends next week :)

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31for31 · 4 years

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10/06/2020 Monsterland

New on Hulu beginning October 2nd, Monsterland is an anthology horror series based on the book North American Lake Monsters: Stories by Nathan Ballingrud. I’ve previously spoken of my love for anthology horror, and so when this was suggested to me I jumped at the chance to review it.

Each of the eight episodes is named for the town or city in which it is set. First is Port Fourchon, Louisiana. This is the only episode I’ve watched so far, but since each episode is an hour long, I think it still fits.

The plot concerns a young unmarried mother named Toni, who works at a local diner. She’s struggling to raise her daughter Jack in a small mobile home. One day she meets a mysterious man named Alex who comes to her diner and has a conversation with her about life and choices made. She’s getting bad vibes off of Alex, but he pays her $100 to have a conversation with him.

She is right to be creeped out by Alex, as in the opening scene we see him drowning a girl and then stitching his face. His car is filled with boxes and plastic tubs with the names of different people. What’s in these boxes isn’t clear in the beginning, but you can make assumptions.

Toni’s daughter Jack appears to have some behavioral issues; there is talk of an incident involving scissors, and she is shown being hosed off in the yard while covered in blood. Toni drops her off at a friend’s house for daycare, but the friend returns Jack to the diner, saying she’s out of control and the assumption is that Jack once again hurt someone.

That night, as Toni and Jack sit down for dinner, and Toni has flashbacks to an incident when she was pregnant with Jack, the power goes out. After dark, Alex shows up at her house, having been given her address by another waitress at the diner. Alex tells Toni he’ll give her $1,000 to let him stay the night, and promises not to hurt her. Toni is worried at first, but decides to take the risk.

Once again, I don’t want to spoil anything, but suffice to say this was a great first episode. You really get a feel for what Toni is going through, and her desperation to care for Jack. Fair warning, there is a scene near the middle of a home abortion attempt, so if this is something that is disturbing to you, I recommend skipping this scene. It’s short, and you’ll know when it’s going to happen.

I highly recommend this series. Maybe the next seven episodes won’t be as good, maybe there will be even better ones, but just on the strength of this one, I had a blast and can’t wait to watch the rest!

4.5 stars out of 5

#horror #anthology #monsterland #hulu #31daysofhalloween #31for31

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ofcloudsandstars · 5 years

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Life Update:

I have been away for a BIT but a lot has happened since then. Aside from some crazy energy shifts (some early spooky spirit-level vibes coming from Pluto coming out of Retrograde on the 3rd) having wild vivid dreams and bizarre experiences, there's some that took the cake and also I needed some time to just be quiet and spend my little free time not chatting to anyone or being online.

Anyway a story I wanted to share is the on going saga with that rich man who spent his years saving and conserving a rain forest in Tanzania. We met on Autumn's Eve to discuss his project he was trying to raise money for. He is going through a lot right now cause it's his second Saturn return and this huge farm he owns in Tanzania that he made a shit ton of money from is falling apart due to climate change and corruption. It turns out this man has dabbled in/has interest in the occult (as all bored white rich people do) and was interested in my craft. He's an American born and raised in Louisiana that moved to NYC for a while to write for a magazine, had some wild experiences with a vodou church there and moved to England when he got married but now has been divorced for like 17 years and is still not over it. Anyway I felt comfortable opening up about my practice and that evening anyway I was going to go to a friend's house to do some autumn eve magic and had some stuff in my bag. So he asked for a tarot reading for insight in his future and we like hang out in Hyde park which is GORGEOUS in fall colors right now and I do a reading for him. This is the beginning of a very long story so if you are interested in reading another episode in my hot mess ass life, get a nice cup of tea and click the read more lol.

Essentially we can summarize his current life as his job is going through a tower card phase due to saturn return shaking up all that foundations are weak or no longer serving him. He's supposed to resurrect the rainforest conservation project and he already knows this answer deep down inside. I am like cool that's great we connected cause I have been making a lot of friends recently that are getting involved in forest conservation or are buying land to grow forests on with native trees so its cool we created this friendship. Nice. Now he wants a love reading which I just feel reluctant to do. I already had that feeling you know when someone wants a love reading when they really shouldn't be focusing on that? Its fine though cause Tarot is honest as hell and validates my feelings. He essentially wants someone to distract his current troubles and saturn return lessons to get whisked away in a romance and dump his issues on from the failure of the farm and his divorce of 17 years he's still not over.

He's still unsatisfied so to placate him I do a lenormand reading of what type of lover could suit him now in his troubling time. Lenormand just shows someone that is ambitious and working in the same field but also a side kick. Cool so you want a cheerleader to support you when you are down that’s nice don't we all. He then says the reading is vague and doesn't everyone want that? And I am like no not at all like for example, I currently don't want any relationship I want to work on myself but if I were to have an ideal relationship I'd love it to be with someone who is a home maker, someone who is emotionally available, who's love language is like smothering me physically with affection, definitely not someone who fucks off for two weeks to months at a time to the other side of the hemisphere, but anyway it’s all hypothetical so it doesn't matter. Anyway with his lack of satisfaction I am like, look sir, next week is the Libra new moon, it's a great time to ask to find a partner that will be a great match in this trying time.

I completely forget that I gave him this information. We smoke a blunt he was keeping in his nifty dressy blazer inner pocket and I go off to see my good Aries witch friend and have an INSANE NIGHT where we nearly BURNT down her fucking apartment in an episode of ✧ *:・ﾟFire Magic Gone Wrong *:・ﾟ✧.

I was trying to make some candles for autumn's eve with carved green apples and when I melted the wax we didn't realize how powerful her oven was. Plus my stupid lazy ass left the wick in there. So when we tried to open the oven cause we were smelling the intense smoke, a fucking PLUME of dark smoke would come out BURNING THE SHIT out of our eyes and choke the shit out of us. We tried to open the windows and vents, I tried to quickly pull it out and some wax splashed out and burned the shit out of my leg and arm and I have little burn mark scars now, but with the wick in there with that heat it IGNITED there was a burst of flames coming out, My friend was NOT HAVING IT like imagine an Aries hollerin and a Fire Ablazin and the fire alarm is louder than a fucking rave EDM beat like I was trying to think as clear as possible and see if she had a fire extinguisher she was like: BITCH DO I LOOK LIKE A RESTAURANT TO YOU and so I call the emergency line to get the fire department while she fucking, just, gets a massive fucking cauldron of water and dumps it in the oven and wax is oil so you know what happens when you throw water on flaming oil it fucking EXPLODES so she's like fucking James Bond slow motion running away from a ball of Fire and fortunately the fire is out cause it gets smothered by smoke and water

...so I am like: Oh thank you mr. police sir but the fire is gone no need to come, but as my friend is still HOLLERIN in full panic mode in the background and the police on the phone still hear her Panic and is like: Uh no we are still coming..

Its a bit comical and surreal at this point cause I try to calm my friend down with some water as I air out the apartment and she goes from Hollerin to q u i e t real quick when she hears all these LOUD ass sirens. She's like.. Alex.. What are we gonna tell the police when they arrive?? I am like damn bitch why you acting like we did something contraband like its just an oven fire we extinguished it. But she was having that Black Moment of Fear™ like we were two hot mess black witches gonna have the police up in her apartment due to some dumb ass witchcraft gone wrong like I was still trying to be calm but she was like whispering my name like Aleeexx those sirens, they are coming for us!! And I was like oh my god you are panicking they are probably just police cars for something else we are in London shit happens here all the time.

Anyway the loud sirens just STOP in front of the building and she's like: a l e x... All of a sudden we hear a Bing! And its the fire department outside. We see the windows in the hallway outdoors and this MASSIVE ASS FIRE TRUCK THE SIDE OF THE BUILDING'S WIDTH is just parked there y'all.. The neighbor across the hallway opens her door to see what the fuck is going on and she was not pleased. Since her windows face the street her whole living room looked like a rave disco with red and blue flashing lights she was like what the fuck were you dumbasses doing and my friend is like ohh my god..

So next thing we knew there were 5 Fully geared firemen in the apartment and like.. Miraculously with the power of all that is good in the world there is like no sign that there was ever anything that happened?! So the firemen of course were wanting some explanations. Of course they can smell a little bit of smoke but I am like: Oh yeah sorry it was a grease fire gone wrong it was the first time we used this oven but we managed to squash it, it was just overwhelming and we wanted you guys over just in case it escalated. So one fireman is like snooping around for some further answers like: haha cooking sausages usually kicks up a lot of grease, what were you cooking? And my friend who is guilty as hell is like: its just oil but so sorry wejustletitburnintheovensosorryitwasjust and I am like taking the conversation by the horns like: We were trying a recipe to bake the apples over there (yes the ones still hollowed out on the kitchen counter,) but it went wrong. Anyway the firemen noted that there was like no damage ("don't even mention it to your land lord! Haha!" one says) and they just install two fire alarms for free and leave. So me and my friend who are Shaken from this Drama especially when after the firemen left there was no trace of like anything even happening and this all escalated and deescalated in less than an hour so we just scrap any magic we had planned that night and watch The Craft instead. Autumn’s Eve completed..

Ok so I have a blissful and amazing Mabon then a few days pass and I am back at work with the shenanigans of the weekend out of my mind and I get a text from the old rich guy again. He wants me to come over for dinner on Sunday and chat some more about the forest conservation project. I am a bit annoyed as it's Libra new moon but maybe I could balance dinner with him and go home and do some spells (balance, see what I did there? lol.) So I say yes, it's Libra new moon afterall and maybe its nice to make a new friendship revolving around helping the planet.

He's texting me like: Do you like Oysters? And I am like.. that's so random why Oysters? And he goes on about how he's from Louisiana and he gets homesick so he likes eating them I am like ok I guess.. But he's also like: let me get some Gavi (white wine) and I am starting to get that feeling of unease but I am like: I got to work early the next day so I am not going to drink. He's like ok fine.

I mention it to some of my coworkers and they are teasing me about how this old man wants to 'play in my rainforest' and it makes me want to gag. Like I am hoping that its a case of me misjudging some man like surely this is a sensible old man that is lonely and just is happy to find a friend that cares about the earth and his project? Anyway Sunday night comes and I am on my way to his house. He lives in some gorgeous townhouse off a main street. The stairwell spirals up the 3 floors of the house with exotic trees growing in between the landings and reaching up through the center of the spiral stairs. There are pictures of artwork he's collected as well as some chameleon named after him in the rain forest in Tanzania as a thankyou to his conservation efforts. I get to the second landing before his kitchen and I hear to my DREAD some fucking jazz music. Oh hell no. I immediately am like: I need to use your toilet. So I go to his immensely large bathroom which also has little trees growing in there in between the large sink and deep teal painted clawed foot tub. I am texting my Aries witch friend cause she lives around the corner like: GURL GET ME THE FUCK!! OUT OF HERE!! and she's like: Oh no baby you's in danger, let me know if you need help. So I gather my strength like: Ok he can't be this delusional especially after the Talk and the Tarot on his lovelife and the fact that he's old enough to be my dad, so let me keep the convo friendly and hopefully this will be a big misunderstanding.

I mean by now you know my fool meter is immensely high, but anwyay I go into his kitchen and I ask him boldly what's the occasion for this dinner? So he skirts the question by saying how he designed his home after stuff in Louisiana that he misses blahblah and stuff from the rainforest I am like: Cool, whats the occasion for this dinner? And he's like: You know, celebrating friendship, you want wine? I don't want wine cause I told him I need to go home early I have to work, and he mentions the spare bedroom on the top floor. I tell him I'm uninterested in staying over even though yes it's conveniently 10 minutes walk from my job but I have house plants to take care of (yeah I use that house plants excuse I don't give a fuck! lol). Anyway he steers the conversation to the fresh oysters he just shucked. So we are eating oysters, I try not to put any energy on the nature of him eating his oysters and I direct the conversation to how he came about conserving the rainforest, his networking skills and how he raised money to buy that much land and plant millions of trees. I end up gleaning a lot of helpful and not so much helpful info (I mean, it just helps if you are a wealthy well connected white man lmao), and we even talk about other interesting stuff like I get him to talk about how the stock market works, his daily routine at the members club I work at, William Kamkwamba who built the windmill in Malawi from some inspo from library books (his ex brother in law made a film about it which he suggested I stay over to watch with him, which I declined cause of my house plants I needed to get back to at home), his divorce he can't stop talking about cause he's not truly over it. Anyway dinner is nice, we eat some very unseasoned gumbo he made that reminds him of his childhood and throughout the dinner I am doing shielding energy exercises and channeling the power of Saturn to re-affirm my boundaries and practice the glorious power of "No". So with Saturn's channeled influence I am ready to put an end to the night and I am like: thanks for everything I think I'll go now, but before I go should I help with the dishes? He says no cause: It's a one-man show. I ask him to Elaborate, and instead he offers me to get some chocolate so I am like.. ok...

Anyway he is standing at the other side of his kitchen so I get up to get some and he turns around to embrace me, and y'all... it's a LONG and UNCOMFORTABLE hug complete with 1. back rubbing, 2. neck sniffing, 3. aura invading, so I pull away to ask about what chocolate it is and it's dark chocolate oh god. Anyway this is actually the beginning of the climax of the tension of the night to my foolish self cause this man who is unwillingly ignoring my discomfort has the fucking audacity to ask the question: Do you like dancing? I literally answer him with the same boldness that he asked that question: I hate dancing and never danced in my life. lol. He wasn't taking No for an answer so he decided to be like: Let me show you music I like to dance to. So he puts on some old 70s-esque rock and starts dancing alone in his living room like: Dance with me! I am like No. He says something like: I love dancing it helps to open you up. We all just got to get over our embarrassment and let loose! I am like: Ok I gotta let loose in your toilet again be right back.

So I hide in his bathroom again texting my witch friend like: S.O.S. BITCH let me come over to your apartment and she's like: Oh sorry I am in a party in north London .............. 😭

So I go out to face the mess and he's now trying to get another song I could potentially relate to so he's like: Let me play this song my 13 year old picked out for me.. Great.. Next thing my Ears are hearing is: Mr. Brightside by the Killers and I am dying y'all.. I am over it.. He is taking my laughter as an invitation to get me to dance but now with the full power of Saturn I was like: No. I am going home, I don't feel well, I have been having some kidney issues ("Oh is that why you were always in the bathroom?"- "Yeah that's.. why.. definitely..") and I gotta get up early. So he looks sad. I am like it's ok, we can hang out in the day time, outside of your home next time and talk more about the rainforest conservation. He's like, ok but before you go we have to do this? I am like: Do what?

NEXT THING I KNOW TO MY HORROR I SEE HIM LEAN IN, TAKE MY SIDES AND TRY TO KISS ME AND I AM LIKE:

NO!!

I Push him away, and FLY down his 3 flights of stairs, spiraling down his house, and he's chasing me like fucking No-Face chasing Chihiro saying: I WASN'T GOING TO PUT MY TONGUE IN YOUR MOUTH!! The fact that he said that I could feel my fucking bootyhole clench with dismay. I was mortified. I grabbed my shoes and was like.. see you around I guess (He is a regular at my job lol), and I fly down the street.

When I get home he texts me if I have a moment for a chat so I am like ok fine why not? He fucking VIDEO CALLS ME and on top of it is eating something fucking nasty and I have misophonia so I am fucking disgusted and I turn off my video (I mean its like modern millenial tech etiquette but video calls are pretty intimate or you have to prepare for them, just springing up a video chat is a bit violating?) and he's like: Oh should I turn off my video too? I don't answer.. so he does..

So he calls to essentially apologize. He admits that I at MANY TIMES have expressed that I was not interested in any relationship other than friendship and that he just wanted a friendly kiss on the mouth and it wasn't supposed to be sexual. Ok... He also says that he doesn't understand why we can't be intimate and be friends.. With my DEAD SILENCE he then fills it like: Ok yeah that's true there is a massive age gap and different comforts with intimacy.. He then admits he has a sexual attraction to me and it would be dishonest to say otherwise but we should still be friends.. I am like: I wouldn't mind being friends but I can't trust someone who doesn't respect my boundaries like I have boundaries. We end with him saying: I understand, you have your boundaries then.. Lol.

Anyway as a blessing I haven't seen him since..

It took me like a full several days later after seeing another witchy friend who asked me about my new moon libra rituals I realized I didn't get to HAVE ANY cause he fucking Eclipsed my night with his bullshittery, that it was actually my fault as I gave him an idea to use that evening to try to find a partner when I did his tarot reading on Autumn Eve but instead he was trying to use all kinds of tricks of seduction for me to be his unwilling cheerleader. Goes to show that a man can spend years of his life planting 16.7 million trees and still be trash lol.

-------

Other than those recent drama episodes not much has happened to me other than some resurfaced trauma and closure from years ago in college that ended a chapter in my life for me once Pluto came out of retrograde. Other mildly exciting news, I also worked my Alchemist friend's bar yesterday on Sunday for a Fungi Fest in Hoxton. (Look up her work she's Mama Xanadu she does cool shit.) She made non-alcoholic cocktails potions with spirits based with roots and herbs like damiana, maca, passion flower etc that makes you feel energized but also mellow (three spirit is one of the partners that work with her their stuff is kind of nice though you do feel like you're drinking some type of brew) and her brews were made from different mushroom infusions like one was a delicious turkeytail brew made with hibiscus and douglas fir and another was with kombucha and seabuckthorn juice and one with a mushroom named amethyst deceiver and hops. She also makes her own essences and made some mushroom essences (like flower essences but with the vibrational influence of mushrooms) to add in there. I met some interesting and Strange people like you do at any alternative spiritualish wholesome event. I met a beautiful boy who is sadly in a relationship that we vibed very hard to the unfortunate dismay of his disgruntled girlfriend and I met a couple from poland who looked like a lost boys vampire couple (one was dressed in a black iridescent latex trenchcoat with one long earring with playing cards attached to it with long hair and his girlfriend had like layers of black scarves and coat like some mori grunge style with a black bowl hat on) who were trying to convince me how MDMA is the same as medicinal mushrooms and that it's its own type of spiritual ritual now. (I was like, sure Jäan..). Now that I have had a moment to like rest and reflect, and accept that I can't save some of my house plants and my life's direction still seems so uncertain and Hot Mess I am like ready to focus on my craft again and interact with my blog lol.

Anyway if you read until the end wow, thanks so much. I hope you had a great new moon.

#personal story #get ready for another one y'all

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mittensmorgul · 5 years

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I’m officially out into the early days of Dabb Era (masquerading as the end of Carver Era, but it’s clear that Dabb has already taken over at this point) on the tnt loop. And this scene from the end of 11.16 was just so reminiscent of 14.13:

[BOBBY leaves the house and heads to his car. He waves at the nosy neighbor, and gets in the driver's seat. He notices a bottle, with a note attached to it that says, "Fine, you Ass, you win, for now. Enjoy. R." BOBBY laughs. He gets out his journal to write about the case, when his cell phone rings.] BOBBY: Dean. You boys okay? DEAN: Yeah we're fine, Bobby, where the hell have you been? I've left three messages. BOBBY: Well, I was - DEAN: Look I got a possible lead on Lilith in Maine. But we're on a case in Reno, I texted you the address, so if you're done sitting on your ass…

To John waking up in his car, returned to the past and thinking his trip to the future was a dream:

[The Impala is parked near a lake. JOHN sleeps in the front seat. He’s back in 2003. His cell phone rings on the dashboard. He wakes up and answers the call.] JOHN: Dean. No, I’m okay. I just… I just had one hell of a dream. Yeah. No, it was a good one. I’m on my way back. I’ll see you soon.

And at first I thought, oh hey look at these two incredibly similar scenes between Dean on the phone in the past and his two father figures who’ve just unwittingly actually seen a far-future version of Dean.

11.16 was about the “Soul Eater,” whose nest where he brings victims to feast on their souls exists “outside of space and time.” A place where Dean and Bobby could see one another before being returned to their respective places in time. And 14.13 also exists as a weird not-quite-real pocket in space and time.

But then I realized... In 11.16, Dean was calling Bobby to check out a lead on Lilith because he and Sam were much farther away... in RENO of all places.

Which will become significant again in 12.01, the first “official” Dabb era episode, as the place where John and Mary were married. And also the place where Chuck apparently ditched Amara in 14.20.

The mention of Reno one episode before 11.17 just struck me as significant now, and should for anyone who still believes that Red Meat is somehow glorifying the toxic codependency between Sam and Dean. Y’all need to watch that again and actually pay attention to what the episode does as a whole... Bobo has long been Dabb’s partner in crime when it comes to the big thematic stuff, and they literally co-wrote 11.17, kind of unofficially-officially establishing their start point for the eventual endgame. Billie, Sam’s mysterious resurrection, Dean’s self-sacrifice to barter his life for Sam’s and Billie refuses basically telling him this is not a story that can work like this anymore. And this was BEFORE she became Death. She reminded him that his next destination was The Empty, but then... Dean didn’t die. This episode literally established the defining elements of the eventual subversion of the entire narrative, which we’re seeing finally come to fruition after s14.

Can you see why so many of us were THRILLED by 11.17, and the implications of it, even back then? Because it was NEVER about glorifying the “old story” of Sam and Dean trading their lives for each other. It was about the pointlessness of it on a cosmic scale. And Dabb establishing his own in-story Avatar as showrunner in Billie, the symbolic death of the old spiral narrative. He just needed to bide his time until all the planets aligned and could make the direct run at the ultimate subversion of the original author (i.e. Chuck as Kripke’s avatar).

It made me interested to know the history of Reno getting mentioned in the narrative...

2.19: Folsom Prison Blues. Reno isn’t mentioned in the episode, but the title is from the Johnny Cash song:

When I was just a baby, My Mama told me, "Son, Always be a good boy, Don't ever play with guns, " But I shot a man in Reno, Just to watch him die, When I hear that whistle blowin', I hang my head and cry.

Which is kind of interesting in the context of the episode taken with the context of all the later references. This was an episode where they deliberately committed a crime, deliberately got themselves “locked up,” not only to solve a case, but to help a friend who’d once saved their father’s life in wartime. At the end of the episode, yes, they stage their escape from prison, but their entire compulsion to help people they feel they owe even at the risk of their own lives or liberty, is sort of encapsulated in this episode. I can imagine Chuck’s fascination with these two, “my guys,” stars of his favorite show, choosing the selfless act this way when Chuck tried to keep forcing them to relive his opposite narrative-- one sibling over the other, one being locked up for all eternity while the other goes on happily creating the universe. The eternal conflict-sacrifice narrative... was always Chuck’s imposition on the Winchesters. Even Cain was confused by Dean’s choice in 9.11, not understanding why Dean chose to SAVE his brother rather than kill him, because Cain was living out just another version of Chuck’s story. This is why Sam and Dean are the exceptions, the version that Chuck just can’t understand, the ones who refuse over and over to accept that Chuck’s story must be *their* story. No matter how hard he’s tried, Chuck just can’t break their will. He can’t stop them from continuing to fight. Even now that Dean has broken and said yes to Michael. Even that couldn’t break his will in the end.

3.01: The Magnificent Seven. When Sam learns about Dean’s demon deal for his life, he begins trying to find ways to get Dean out of the deal and save his life. Tamara suggested to him that there’s a hoodoo priestess in Louisiana who may be able to help:

DEAN: Sam, no hoodoo spell's gonna break this deal, all right? It's a goose chase. SAM: Yeah, but we don't know that, Dean— DEAN (cutting him off): Yes, we do. Forget it. She can't help. SAM (trying to cut in): Look, it's worth— DEAN (speaking over SAM): We're not going, and that's that. What about Reno, huh?

And Dean tells him no, because if they try to get out of the deal, Sam dies. So said the demon he made his deal with, and Dean refuses to let that happen. He even refuses to tell Sam that fact yet, and diverts the conversation with the suggestion they go to Reno instead.

And this is the opposite of Chuck’s original choice, to sacrifice and lock up his sister so his creation could expand unfettered. Dean chose instead to sacrifice himself so Sam could go live that normal life he’d always dreamed of. This was just the beginning of the very long game Chuck would play with them...

Vaguely near the end of s4, and also 11.16:

Between April 17th - ~May 3rd, 2009: Bobby and Rufus investigate what they think is a ghost haunting a house in Grand Rapids, MI. Sam and Dean are in Reno

We never do learn more about the case they were working there, but it did give them a lead on Lilith. Remember that 4.20, the Rapture, takes place on May 3 that year, immediately after this point in the timeline. Castiel was about to try to reveal Heaven’s deception, and their role in breaking the seals to free Lucifer and was dragged back to be reprogrammed into an obedient soldier again. And he would break free of that two episodes later in 4.22, siding with the Winchesters over Heaven and sealing his own fate in a powerful display of free will.

8.21: The Great Escapist: One of the Biggersons locations where we see Cas pass through in his manipulation of quantum superposition to evade the angels is Reno, Nevada.

11.16: the other side of the “outside of time and space” meeting between s4 Bobby and s11 Dean.

12.01: Dean, in trying to convince a freshly resurrected Mary of his identity, and the fact that 33 years have elapsed since she died:

Dean: Dad told me. March 23, 1972 you walked out of a movie theater, Slaughterhouse-Five, you loved it. And you bumped into a big marine and knocked him on his ass. You were embarrassed and he laughed it off, said you could make it up to him with a cup of coffee. So you went to, uh, Maroni's, and you talked and he was cute, and he knew the words to every Zeppelin song, so when he asked you for your number you gave it to him even though you knew your dad would be pissed. That was the night that you met- Mary: John Winchester. Dean: August 19, 1975 you were married, in Reno, your idea. Few years later I came along, then Sammy.

14.20: Amara is, according to the Lying Liar Chuck, in Reno... while meanwhile Billie, Jack, and the Shadow are having a double-secret conference in the Empty while Chuck unleashes Hell on Earth.

I’m wondering if we’ll ever hear mention of Reno again...

#spn s14 spoilers #spn 14.20 #spn 11.16 #spn 11.17 #spn 14.13 #spiders georg of the tnt loop #s14 hellatus rewatch #spn 12.01 #spn 8.21 #spn 4.20 #spn 3.01 #spn 2.19 #reno is a quantum superposition #dabb vs cars #it's spirals all the way down #if you say 'mysterious ways' so help me i will kick your ass #that's what free will is

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dream-girls-evil · 5 years

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Episode 10 Reaction

LOL WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT. This reaction is going to be significantly less polished because I have a lot of complaints, a lot of wine, and zero fucks.

Pre-Apocalypse

I’m SO glad Myrtle and Venable meet. I need about two more hours just of them interacting. They’re GREAT.

Oh wow, Myrtle’s packing some serious witchy power!

“My hair is a mystery, never to be fully understood.” I love it.

Okay, so the coconut heads are legit in another outpost. I’m so mad we didn’t get to see Venable or Myrtle kill them.

Venable 200% deserved the opportunity

I actually feel kind of bad that she’s back to working for this shitheads since the apocalypse was prevented.

Back to Misty’s swamp, yet still no Misty. I am confused and upset.

Aaaaand now we know how Mallory and Coco end up in Outpost Three

called it!!! Y’all thought Cordelia blowing that powder was to kill someone--I’ve been telling you it was just for the identity spell.

“Not to make it all about me.”

The “new personalities” thing was a nice way to excuse Coco’s behavior. It’s a little irritating, but I get the point. Her job is literally to crush Mallory’s soul.

it’s so funny that they just blatantly said she’s modeled after Madison

at least they’ll be together if the world ends--things getting more than a little gay.

Myrtle and Cordelia get a little callous talking about Coco’s family.

I know it’s necessary and that if things work none of it will happen, but still. Cordelia is all over Mallory trying to comfort her, but she basically tells Coco to suck it up.

Mr. Gallant and Brock are back and I loved Madison being an Uber driver.

Okay, Cordelia sitting on Misty’s couch, staring out the window, is the most beautiful scene. I’d like us all to imagine that she’s just watching Misty work in the garden.

Madison and Myrtle team up for one thing and one thing only: revenge.

Post-Apocalypse

So...they literally just buried themselves in the ground until Mallory’s powers activated.

and then somehow magically got to the other side of the country in like a week.

At least we know why Cordelia isn’t sick anymore in 2021

suppressing Mallory’s magic must have restored her own, and that good ol’ Louisiana mud healed her side.

“You’re special, Mallory” aaaaand we’ve come full-circle to the beginning of this season’s problems

“The seventh seal,” I’m sorry, did we miss the first six? Where was the season about that??

Aaaaand Michael is, in the end, literally just another male trying to prove that he’s better than the witches

FUCK YES MARIE!!! And Delphine makes an appearance! Cordelia really is ruthless, damn. Trading Dinah for Marie was a fucking power move.

And there goes Mrs. Mead? Singing Daisy? Just...why.

At least Madison keeps her wits and sees the opportunity to grab a gun.

Hey there’s brock! Knew he was still wandering around somewhere.

god, I would have paid to see him interact with non-identity spell Coco

she would have been disgusted with him

Madison’s head literally just exploded. Fucking stupid. Actually, everyone’s deaths are fucking stupid.

Marie has been off screen for .2 seconds and I miss her.

Excuse me, why is Mallory calling her Cordelia instead of “miss”?

“It appears as though we’re fucked, my dear” you don’t say

“I knew you’d survive the nuclear fallout” bitch then why were you whining about thinking you killed all the witches?

Aaand here we go with Cordelia. And Myrtle seriously doesn’t see what’s coming?? She’s literally been talking about this since 2018.

gotta admit though, that “my sisters are a legion, motherfucker,” was fantastic, and Cordelia’s death was as badass as her life.

I’m glad she told Myrtle she loved her though, since this ends up being the last time they see each other.

Pre-Apocalypse...Again

Mallory literally just runs him over with a fucking car.

and apparently had time to change into something more fashionable.

what?

like, that’s so unexpected for her character. She’s freaking Snow White.

I don’t dislike it, I just wish we’d seen this side of her beforehand so it seemed consistent.

Dare I say that Constance letting Michael’s spirit move on is actual character growth?

Point of frustration: this means Madison never freed Moira from the house

but it also means Violet and Tate never get back together and I’m happy about that

So...Mallory just joins the coven in 2015?? Because that’s not gonna create a fucking paradox or anything.

Mallory’s parents think she’s a devil worshipper--she’s legit Misty’s little sister or something

Aw, she’s so happy to see Cordelia and Cordelia has no fucking clue who she is XD

Btw, I LOVE Cordelia’s dress!

OH GOD WHY does Cordelia’s paperwork say Cordelia Foxx

I THOUGHT WE COVERED THIS ALREADY

And Queenie’s not gonna die!

Lmao but she’s letting Madison suffeeeeeer

NAN!!!

MISTYYYYYYYY!!!!

okay listen so Mallory has NEVER met Misty before, which means that Cordelia must have talked about her, enough that Mallory would know that bringing her back is the most important thing she could do to make Corelia happy

not AS good as the first reunion, but still adorable

“I’m sure you two have a lot to catch up on” MALLORY SHIPS IT

Misty is so cute meeting Mallory

legit thought Misty and Cordelia were gonna kiss when Misty reached for her...so sad

Mallory could literally be their daughter, wow

The only good thing about this episode: Misty has only been in hell for a year, and now she’s finally safe at home with Cordelia

they’re canon, okay?

2020: aaaaand were back to Romeo and Juliet

wait....what. Now Romeo and Juliet’s KID is the antichrist??

excuse me, the whole point of the antichirst is that he’s the result of the union between a ghost and a human woman.

is this supposed to tie-up their “genetic superiority” arc? Weak.

What.

Okay, so, it could have been worse? I guess? I mean, Misty and Cordelia both made it out alive and they’re in the same place for once. No one tragically died, nothing actually awful happened.

But...they didn’t really stop anything from happening either, in the long run. There’s still a clan of angry warlocks out there; there’s a new antichrist on the rise; and Mallory is still the next Supreme--maybe?

If Mallory’s still the next Supreme, that means Cordelia STILL has only a few years to live. Which fucking sucks. But I’m thinking that maybe she’s actually not the next Supreme. Theory one goes back to that whole “witches’ powers spike in times of danger” thing. What if the ascension of the next supreme was just sped up in response to the danger of Michael? Without that threat, maybe Cordelia’s reign will have the normal timespan. Theory two is that Mallory is technically displaced out of her own timeline now, so I think it could have taken her out of the lineup for Supreme.

Speaking of which, what’s gonna happen in three years when younger Mallory shows up at the academy??? Paradoxes. Upon paradoxes. Upon paradoxes.

“Neat little bow” was right; “for the fans” was not. There was still no Goode-Day kiss or confirmation, which at this point is ridiculous because it’s blatantly obvious to everyone that they’re in love. I mean, even Mallory, who never met Misty, knew enough about her that she knew Cordelia needed her back. She must have heard Cordelia tell stories, must have watched her head out on weekends to fix up the shack, must have heard from Zoe and Queenie how Cordelia asked the antichrist himself to retrieve her even though it would make her concede the supremacy. All of this for a woman named Misty Day.

And then that scene is literally Misty and Cordelia’s last appearance of the season. Holding each other and crying and smiling. It could have been better--we definitely deserved better--but I can live with how Goode-Day played out.

The rest of the episode? No, that just straight-up sucked lol.

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