#but my brain handed me 'connor doesn't do that' so here i am
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Fine is a Four-Letter Word (Chapter One)
Summary: This is Part Twenty-Two of my series A Herrmann/Halstead Production. It is an AU where Christopher Herrmann's mom had an affair with Pat Halstead resulting in a baby. The series follows this OC character (Rebecca "Bex" Herrmann) as she grows up and gets to know her brothers and the various Chicago teams. It is very much an AU, just to underscore that. It doesn't follow the same timeline and characters will follow different paths.
Click here for the Series Rundown where you can find the links to read all of the previous installments (which I highly recommend you do so that this one makes sense.)
Rating: Mature
Relationships: Christopher Herrmann & Original Female Character, Jay Halstead & Original Female Character, Will Halstead & Original Female Character, Jay Halstead & Will Halstead, Greg 'Mouse' Gerwitz/Original Female Character, Will Halstead/Connor Rhodes, Assorted OC Couples
Warnings: Injury Recovery, Trauma Recovery, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Protective Siblings, Family Feels, Team as Family, Road Trip, Kissing, Romance, Mild Sexual Content, Swearing, Eventual Happy Ending
Chapter One
Monday, August 31st, 2015
Sam
Dr. Fredericks sat in the cushy armchair across from him; the picture of calm compared to Sam’s jiggling knee and hands that didn’t seem to know what to do with themselves.
“Why don’t you tell me why you’re here, Officer Kent,” she began. That was probably supposed to be some kind of a soft lob of an opener, but god, what a loaded question.
“Well, uh—” Sam took a shaky breath. “Sergeant Platt said that, uh, the department had someone for people to talk to after—after tough calls and that I might want to consider it. And that…”
Dr. Fredericks nodded gently. “And?”
“She said that walking in on a scene like that—you saw the file, right?” Sam slumped back in relief at her nod. He knew they’d be going over it all eventually, but knowing that she’d read it made starting this conversation that much easier. “She said walking into a scene like that is hard enough, but it’s that much worse when—when your loved ones are involved. Your family.”
He swallowed hard against the painfully fresh memories of that day.
“She said it wasn’t required or anything and maybe I was fine, but, uh—” Sam gripped at the armrests of his chair, hoping that would make his hands stop shaking. “But in her experience, it could be helpful and I talked to my partners about it and we all thought it would be a good idea for me to try because—because I’m not.”
“You’re not what, Sam?” The question was asked so softly, he could almost forgive it for how thoroughly it was cracking him open.
“I’m not fine,” he choked out. “None of us are and it feels like—like we never will be again.”
“What constitutes as fine is always a bit of a moving target after a trauma like you and your family have been through,” she said.
Images of Emery in her hospital bed flashed through his brain.
Still going through, really.
“Being willing to talk about it is a good first step,” Dr. Fredericks continued. “And not an easy one, either. You might not be okay right now, Sam, but be proud of yourself for that.”
He jerked his chin in a nod, not trusting himself to speak as he let that sink in.
A first step.
One of many, probably.
Shit.
Okay.
“So, how, uh—how do we do this?”
***
Will
It was early, seven am or so, but time never really meant much in a hospital anyway. The sounds of people bustling around in the hallway was muffled slightly by the door.
And by the snores coming from Jay on the couch.
Connor had left a few minutes ago to check in on Emery. Bex was asleep in the bed beside him—a bit restless, but that was better than what he’d seen of her every time he’d woken up throughout the night. The stomach issue side effects of a concussion were hitting her hard.
Chris and Mouse were sitting in chairs beside her, talking quietly. Probably trying to make plans since she was scheduled to be discharged today.
Will was not.
And look—he was a doctor! He understood all of the hows and whys of this, but holy hell was he already tired of staying in bed and resting.
He was tired.
He was in pain which was also pissing him off.
…and he was really thirsty.
Will snuck another glance at Mouse and Chris, but they both looked exhausted and very wrapped up in their intense little conversation.
Jay was still completely sacked out.
His cup was right there on the bedside table. He knew there was water in it. Connor had poured some for him before he left.
It wasn’t that far. Will could reach it…if he stretched…carefully…just a little bit more and maybe if he twisted—
There was a little pop as a ripple of pain went through Will’s abdomen. He looked down to see a small patch of red bloom through his hospital gown.
Well, shit.
***
Jay
No one was allowed to say anything about Jay being a bad patient ever again.
Ever.
“Stay in bed means stay in bed, Dr. Halstead,” Jenna, their nurse for the day chastised Will as she finished administering his medication. “You know that better than most patients.”
“I was just trying to get my cup,” Will began, cut off by Jay’s snort.
“There’s three people in here who could’ve grabbed it for you, man,” Jay said. “You didn’t have to pop a stitch—”
“Two stitches,” Connor piped up from where he was sprawled in the arm chair, eyes half closed as his head lolled against the arm rest.
Jenna flashed two fingers at Will with a pointed look.
“Right,” Jay said. “Two stitches. They’re gonna take your doctor cred if you keep this up.”
“It’s actually pretty on brand for doctors,” Jenna muttered.
“I know! Okay? I’m sorry.” Will slumped back against his pillows with a wince. “I’ll be more careful.” He gave Jenna a contrite little grin that actually seemed to work on her. “I promise.”
“We’ll be holding you to that,” she said, smiling back at him. “Now rest.”
Will raised his arm to give her a salute, only to lower it quickly, curling his hand into a fist as he hissed. “Ow.”
Idiot. Jay barely managed to hold back an affectionate snort. He and Jenna had to maintain a united front.
Jenna shook her head, shooting a glance at Jay as she headed out the door. “Keep an eye on him, will you?”
Jay managed to knock off an actual salute, ignoring the sneaky middle finger Will was giving him. “You’re getting me in trouble with the nurses,” he whispered at Will. “Aren’t we supposed to be trying to stay on their good side?”
“Yes,” Will and Connor replied in unison.
“So, no more messing around, okay?” He pointed a stern finger at Will who nodded sheepishly.
Seriously. He was so much worse than Jay had ever been. At least Bex was behaving herself.
Although that might be the concussion.
Jay frowned to himself, peeking at the other side of the room where Chris was talking with Bex while Mouse hovered close by. His radar started pinging at how serious they both looked.
“Psst.” Will motioned for him to come closer and Jay made his way around to the left side of the bed. Will ‘pssst’d at him again so he leaned in a bit.
“Jay.” Will looked up at him with wide, definitely drugged up eyes.
“Yes, Will.”
“Pass me my cup?”
Jay shook his head at the sound of smothered laughter coming from Connor’s chair. “Yes, I’ll pass you your friggin’ cup,” he said. “I’ll even put more water in it for you.”
“Thank you, Jay.”
He watched to make sure Will didn’t spill all over the place before taking the cup back and returning it to the bedside table.
“Chris, you’re not listening to me!” Bex’s raised voice caught both of their attention.
“I am, but you’re not thinking straight—”
A groan from Bex cut him off as she closed her eyes, rubbing at her forehead. “Just stop.”
“Hey.” Jay made his way over to their side of the room. “What’s going on?”
“Bex’s being stubborn,” Chris sighed and Mouse exchanged an uneasy look with Jay behind his back.
“I’m not—” Bex took a shuddery breath and started again. “I just want to go home, Chris.”
“You can’t,” he said, gearing himself up. “Not alone. You’re in no shape to take care of yourself. We can move the kids around temporarily and get you set up—”
“No!”
Chris jerked back at Bex’s tone and Jay stepped closer to the bed, making room for Connor to come and join their little huddle.
Bex looked up at the four of them, tears forming in her eyes as she let out a frustrated huff. “I just—I can’t—”
Jay crouched down beside her, reaching out to take her hand in his. “Whatever you need, we’ll make it work.”
“…I don’t want the kids to see me like this,” she whispered. Chris deflated, as gut-punched by her words as the rest of them. Jay understood. She—she looked rough still. Almost worse now that all of her bruises were blooming across her skin. “And I love you guys, Chris, but I need to be in my own space. My own bed. I’ll be okay. I can—”
Jay made eye contact with Mouse and knew without a word they were on the same page. “Mouse and I will stay with her,” he said. “We can talk to Voight and do whatever we need to make our schedules work so that one of us is always there.”
“Don’t you need to be here with Will?” Chris asked, shaking his head, already dismissing the idea. “Connor’ll need help—”
“Uh, I’m pretty sure I can handle him on my own.” Connor jerked a thumb over at Will who was completely passed out and drooling on his pillow. He grinned when that got a little giggle out of Bex. “We’ve got people here who can help out,” Connor said. “Jenna’s probably going to tie him down at some point so that’ll make things easy.”
“I know you’re joking,” Jay said. “But I think she actually might.”
“Oh, I’m only like, fifty percent joking about that,” Connor laughed. “But I’m serious about it being fine. We’ll be okay.”
“Okay, okay, fine,” Chris said, raising his hands in surrender. “If you can make sure someone’s always there, I’ll trust you and leave you to it. But—” He pointed a stern finger at Jay, Mouse, and then Bex. “Cindy and I’ll be stopping by regularly. No arguments about that.”
“No arguments,” Bex agreed.
“Alright.” Chris slapped at his knees as he stood. “Let’s break you out of this joint.”
***
Chris
Chris left the room under the excuse of tracking down Bex’s discharge paperwork, but ducked down the first quiet hallway he found. He tried to take a slow and steady breath as he leaned against the wall, but it came out in one harsh exhale.
Christ.
He pressed his palms against his eyes and cursed at himself. Get it together, Herrmann.
Bex was the one who went through a trauma. He had to respect her needs—respect her choices—even if the thought of not being able to keep an eye on her 24/7 until every one of those horrific bruises faded away made him feel like his heart was being ripped out of his chest.
He rubbed at his face, swiping away any evidence of tears. He could be okay with this because this was Jay and Mouse they were talking about. They were probably going to be even bigger…what was it Bex and Jay always say?
Mama chickens.
Chris chuckled to himself as he straightened up, shaking his head.
Right. Jay and Mouse were going to be huge mama chickens about this and he and Cindy could check in as often as they needed.
Which he would be doing with that key that Bex gave him when she first moved it.
So there.
His brain settled as numerous plans for check-ins and meal drop-offs began to form. Maybe he could talk Cindy into making a spreadsheet or something. Chris nodded. Yeah, they could make this work.
But first, the promised discharge papers.
He set off with renewed purpose, ready to get the ball rolling on his promise to spring Bex.
***
Bex
Jay left shortly after Chris, saying something about packing up enough stuff to stay at Bex’s for awhile and promising to stop by Mouse’s place to grab some things for him as well.
She waved him off and settled back against her pillows, trying not to wince as she was well aware of the two sets of eyes still on her.
“Hey.” Mouse pulled up a chair and sat beside her. “Are you okay with this plan?” he asked quietly. “We kind of steamrollered you there.”
“No, it’s good,” she said. “I just—I can’t be at Chris and Cindy’s, but Chris is right. I probably shouldn’t be alone. If you and Jay don’t mind—”
“Not even a little bit.” Mouse jumped right in with that. He reached out to squeeze the fingers the were poking out of her cast. “I’m glad, uh, you—thank you for letting us. For letting us help.”
“Will, no—” Connor’s voice cut through their moment. “Let me get your cup. You are ridiculous. Don’t make those eyes.”
Bex met Mouse’s eyes and they both barely managed to push back their giggles.
“Hey,” Mouse whispered, leaning in. “Can I sign your cast?” He pulled a black Sharpie out of his pocket and waggled it at her.
“Where'd you get that?”
He grinned. “I have my ways.”
“Okay, keep your secrets.” Bex stretched her arm out along the bed. “Have at it.”
She closed her eyes, listening to him hum softly as the marker scratched over her hard cast. They’d finally put it on last night after another round of being poked and prodded and scanned. They weren’t worried about her internal bleeding anymore—yay—but her concussion symptoms were rearing their ugly head.
Chris and Cindy had picked up a pile of delicious food and she hadn’t been able to eat any of it. Her stomach was off. Everything tasted weird and gross. Jay even went and grabbed her more French fries, but she couldn’t even make it through one bite.
It was like, everything from Friday to Sunday felt so unreal and now reality was creeping back in, sharpening everything up, and Bex was completely weighed down.
By pain and exhaustion and all of the medication and now freaking nausea. She couldn’t wait to go home to her own bed and, well, probably continue to have crap sleeps, but at least it would be quieter and comfier there.
“There.” She opened her eyes to see Mouse capping the marker and gesturing at her cast with a proud flourish. On the inside of her wrist was a doodle of a tiny mouse.
“I love it,” Bex said and he quirked his little grin at her.
“Okay, campers,” Chris said, charging back into the room. “It’s go time.”
“Finally,” Will sighed and both Chris and Connor were on him in a flash.
“Not you,” Chris said, shaking his head.
“If you move from that bed,” Connor began. “I swear—”
“Jeez, can’t a guy make a joke?” Will help up his hands.
“Probably would have landed better two stitches ago,” Mouse said.
“Now that,” Chris grinned, pointing at Mouse. “That’s a joke.”
“You guys are jerks,” Will grumbled. “Bex, remember me when you’re on the outside.”
“You’re lucky you’re cute when you pout,” Connor said. He leaned in to kiss Will’s forehead, giving him another on the lips when he tilted his face up for more. “Now cut it out.”
Will didn’t stop pouting, but at least he stayed in bed while Mouse and Chris helped Bex out of hers. Cindy had already helped her get cleaned up and dressed earlier that morning. She was definitely going to have to figure out some kind of system for that once she got home.
Moving slowly, because wow walking didn’t feel that great, she made her way over to Will and gave him a careful hug goodbye.
“I’ll see you soon,” she promised. If he could manage to keep himself out of trouble, he should be out in a few more days. Then they could all be at home together.
She was in the middle of hugging Connor when Jenna showed up at the door with a wheelchair. “Hospital policy,” Jenna said cheerfully. “We take you right to the door.”
Mouse and Chris hovered as she carefully got into the chair, giving her a flash of what the next week or two was going to be like. She might as well put the hovering to good use.
“Chris.” Bex reached out to touch his arm before he could move around and start pushing the wheelchair. “I want to make to see her before we go. Please.”
Every single person around her got a pinched look on their face at that request and she knew, okay? She knew that Emery was in bad shape and seeing her was going to be hard, but there was no way she was leaving her before doing that.
She needed Emery to hear her voice. To know they were both still here.
And that she had to keep it that way.
“Okay,” Chris sighed. “Hold on tight. Herrmann Express is leaving the station.”
He looked down at her expectantly.
“Yeah, I’m not—”
“Choo choo,” Mouse offered helpfully.
“Good enough for me,” Chris said as he wheeled them out of the room.
***
Mouse
Watching Bex sit beside Emery’s bedside, holding her friend’s limp hand as she talked to her—it was…rough. Mouse couldn’t stop thinking about how that could have been Bex too.
Or worse, that Bex might not have even made it to the hospital.
But she did make it, he reminded himself. And she was hurt, but she was going to be better and he and Jay would be there every step of the way.
“Her stats are better,” a voice popped up beside him. He looked over to see Kira, Bex and Emery’s friend standing between him and Chris. She’d given up her seat when they’d arrived so Bex could have a visit, claiming it was a good time for a coffee run.
“Emery’s stats,” she clarified, sipping at her to go cup. “They’re not great, but they’re better so…that’s something.”
“Have they said anything about when they’ll start bringing her off the sedation?” Chris asked.
“Maybe in the next day or two,” Kira said. “I’ll keep you guys posted.”
“Appreciated.” Chris wrapped an arm around her shoulders and gave her a little squeeze. They kept watch for a while longer, clocking when Bex started to flag and starting the slow process of actually getting her to leave.
Eventually, they managed to get her out of the hospital and into Mouse’s car. There was no way they would have been able to get her into Jay’s truck which was he drew the ‘go pack up their shit’ short straw.
After Chris had triple-checked that Bex was safely buckled in, he finally stepped back and shut the car door. He gave Mouse a measured look. “Take care of her,” he said.
“Every minute,” Mouse promised.
“I’ll be stopping by too so no funny business or walking around in your underoos or anything like that,” Chris said, jumping when Bex banged on the car window, scowling up at him. “Ooh, I did not think she could hear me. Okay, okay, I’m going.” He blew a quick kiss at Bex before quickly jogging off to the van. “Be seeing you!”
Mouse waved him off and got into the driver’s seat, ignoring the grumbling coming from the passenger side. “Let’s get you home.”
Bex let out a quiet sigh at that. “Please.”
The drive was surprisingly quiet. They were in that after-commute window and it seemed like a light day for construction. Mouse kept the radio off, mindful of Bex’s headaches, and focused on getting them there. Bex didn’t make a peep for the longest time. When he glanced over at the next red light, she was slumped against the back of the seat, totally passed out.
He was tempted to just keep driving and let her sleep for as long as she could, but she had to have some kind of internal radar because as soon as they got close to her street, she started to stir.
“We almost there?”
“Almost,” Mouse said, turning down her road and pulling into the parking lot. “Hang on, I’ll help you out.” He got out and dashed around to her side of the car. Working too quickly for her to argue about it, Mouse opened the door and undid her seatbelt. He carefully helped her out of the car, cataloguing every wince she tried to hide. Getting her upstairs was going to be a battle.
“Bex,” Mouse said, trying to figure out how to broach the subject as best he could. “I think, uh, don’t get mad, okay?”
“What?” She frowned faintly at him, swaying a bit before leaning against the car.
Crap. He did some quick math in his head. She was definitely due for another round of pain pills too. He really needed to get her upstairs. “Will you let me carry you in?” he asked, biting the bullet and putting it out there. “It’s far and I know—”
“You want to what?”
“Uh, carry? You?”
Bex squinted at him and then groaned. “You know what? Go for it.” She raised her good arm and Mouse didn’t wait for her to second guess it before scooping her up gently into his arms.
“This okay?” She’d winced again when he’d picked her up, but she settled, wrapped her good arm around his neck and laying her head on his shoulder.
“Yeah,” she said. “Hurts, but not as bad as walking did.”
Jay chose that moment to pull into the lot, doing a double take as he drove past them. He parked quickly and jogged over to meet them at the front door. “Everything okay?”
“Just getting Bex upstairs,” Mouse said. “Figured we could come down for everything else later.”
Understanding crossed Jay’s face as he checked his own watch, realizing where they were in the schedule. “Good idea.” He went ahead, getting the doors and managing the elevator, then opening the apartment door.
The place was a little musty after not having anyone around for the last couple of days, but Jay turned the air on and it started to clear up quickly.
Mouse set Bex down and she already seemed more relaxed by being in her own space.
“You hungry?” he asked and she made a face. “Bex, you need to eat.”
“I know, but everything tastes awful and I feel so pukey—” She stopped when she looked up and met his eyes, sighing at whatever she’d seen in them. “I’m sorry, I know I need to eat.”
He didn’t want to guilt trip her, but she really did need to eat, especially with the kind of meds she was one. “Maybe a bit of toast now? And we could try soup later?”
Between the two of them, they managed to gently bully her through a piece of toast, taking her medicine, and into trying for a nap. After getting her tucked into bed, Mouse closed the door to her room, leaning against it with a sigh. Jay was waiting for him in the hall.
“She asleep?”
“Not yet,” Mouse said. “But close.”
They stood there in silence for a moment.
“Think we can do this without fucking up?” Jay asked.
“Gonna try.” Mouse pushed away from the door and headed toward the kitchen because that was it. He was gonna try. No matter what. “You have any idea how to make real soup?” he asked Jay over his shoulder.
“No, but that’s what Google’s for, yeah?”
Mouse laughed, smiling as Jay hip-checked past him into the kitchen and started rooting around the cupboards.
Okay. Plan of attack.
Figure out how to make soup. Bring their stuff up. Make soup. Feed the soup to Bex.
It was a start, at least.
“Hey, do you think this carrot is salvageable?”
Right, soup.
***
Bex
A quiet knock on her door was the only warning she got before Jay poked his head in. “Hey,” he whispered. “Ready to get up?”
“Not really,” she grumbled, keeping her eyes closed.
“So, does that mean you don’t want to go see Emery and Will?”
He laughed when she shot up out of bed. “I’m up, I’m up,” she said. “Give me two minutes to change.” He left her to it and she changed into fresh clothes in record time. She grabbed the door handle, pulling it open and stepped out—
Into the hallway of the hospital. The ICU floor. “Jay?” she called out, but there was no answer. The only sound was a flat whine coming from one of the rooms.
A sound she was way too familiar with.
One that made her stomach fill with dread and panic and—
She found herself moving toward the noise, pulled toward a doorway, into a room.
“No,” Bex whispered.
Will and Emery, lying side by side in twin hospital beds, motionless as the monitor screamed out the flatline behind them.
“NO!”
“You did this.” Connor stepped toward her from the side of the room. “You were too slow. Too weak. You didn’t save them.”
“I tried—”
“You let them die,” Connor snapped out at her. He looked down at his own chest where growing patches of red were forming, blood starting to run down it in little rivers. “This is your fault.”
“Connor!” She screamed as he fell to his knees, eyes staring out at nothing. “No. No, no, no! Help!” Bex turned back out to the hall, searching for someone, anyone. She spotted someone lying on the floor a few feet away.
It looked like—
No.
Bex ran, falling to her knees beside him and carefully turning him over. Chris flopped back, dried blood crinkling the side of his shirt. His lips were blue. Eyes as empty as Connor’s.
And Will’s.
And Emery’s.
“I need HELP!” Bex yelled into the empty hallway. “Please. Someone, please help!”
“It’s too late, Bex.”
She whirled around to see Mouse falling to his knees as blood poured out of his mouth.
“There’s no one left to help,” he gasped before collapsing to the floor. Behind him, the hallway was filled with bodies.
Jay. Cindy. Uncle Bo. Uncle Mouch. Trudy. Matt. Gabby. Shay. Kelly. Kevin. Adam. Kim. Sylvie. Otis. Joe. Kira. Malia. Sam. Everyone.
All of them.
Every single person she loved.
Dead.
“This is your fault,” Ty said, slamming a knife into her chest and pinning her to the wall.
Bex woke up with a gasp, doubling over as pain throbbed through her at the sudden movement. She couldn’t—where was—they were all—
No.
She took a shaky breath.
Then another.
Slow.
Waiting out the panic.
It was a dream. It wasn’t real. They were all alive.
It wasn’t real.
Bex carefully let herself lie back against her pillows and ran her good hand over her cheeks, wiping away the tears. “It wasn’t real,” she reminded herself.
A knock on her door had her jolting again. Heart pounding.
“Bex?” Jay called before he cracked the door open. “You awake?”
“Um, yeah,” she croaked out. “Just now.”
He poked his head inside, peering at her. “You okay?”
She took in the sight of him, alive and okay, but with massive bags under his eyes and concerned lines etching across his face. Stress and exhaustion seeping out of his bones.
This is your fault.
“Yeah,” she said. “I’m fine.”
He quirked an eyebrow at her. “Sure about that?”
“Yes,” Bex said firmly, willing away her headache and sore ribs for long enough to flash him a convincing smile. “I’m okay…and I believe I was promised soup?”
He grinned back and started in on what had apparently been an epic soup-making adventure with Mouse. Bex let his words wash over her, pushing away the remnants of her nightmare.
See?
Fine.
Click here to read Chapter Two.
Click here to read Chapter Three.
Click here to read Chapter Four.
Click here to read Fine is a Four-Letter Word on ao3:
And here is the tag list (let me know if you wish to be added or removed):
@sorry-i-spaced, @iunnowatuwant, @thegirlwhowishedeveryonelived, @ivyalmighty, @thewannabewriter, @lexhalstead3, @multifandomgrl08, @foxes-and-cats, @sensitivemallysix, @thebewingedjewelcat, @emme-looou,
#a herrmann/halstead production#one chicago#chicago fire#chicago pd#chicago med#rebecca 'bex' herrmann#jay halstead#oc character#will halstead#christopher herrmann#greg “mouse” gerwitz x original female character#greg “mouse” gerwitz#greg gerwitz#hurt/comfort#trauma#emotional hurt/comfort#injury recovery#trauma recovery#family feels#team as family#halstead brothers#halstead sister#herrmann family#fluff#humor#romance#road trip
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Current W.I.Ps
Here's some of the W.I.Ps I'm working on with summaries, extracts and little notes i have written for myself. And as I'm about to post this i am realizing that most of these are about Dionysus lmao.
Please tell me what you all think about these w.i.ps tho. I am open to constructive criticism.
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DEAD MOM(S) DEAD MOMMM(S) I NEEED A BIT OF HELP HEREEE
Summary: Leo and Connor Stoll bond over dead moms
Notes to myself:
[Con's mom died when he was a baby, and he seems nonchalant about it]
[the convo gets started when Con is looking for Issac Schuster. Leo doesn't know which brother of his that is and says that he's not used to having a big family and that it used to be just him and his mom. Con relates to that.]
Small extract: (this one only has a few words cus i got writers block)
The sun dipped over the forest of Camp Half-Blood. Casting a
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2. ..What?....You d-dont remember what she looks like?
Summary: Libary by Jack Stauber but as Dionysus and Ino
Notes to myself:
[Traumatize this man]
[Lines so i dont have to watch it over and over again]
[Behind curtain number one is... *Dionysus mouths Auntie* correct!]
[(have a pause before this) Wait]
[Y-You don't remember what she looks like!]
[Hey! Just make something up.]
[Oh! What you make is gonna end.]
[And get old too!]
Small Extract:
I never liked dreams much.
When I was a demigod, they usually meant more trauma to bottle up and ignore (Yes, Chiron, I know that's not healthy, but I don't care).
When I became a god, the dreams...didn't disappear for some reason but got less frequent. Maybe because I learned to ignore my past more effectively, or maybe Epiales favours me because I gave him that bottle of wine for his birthday.
Tonight, it seems I have lost his favour.
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3. Wine child
Summary: After a fight with Hebe, Dionysus ends up in his 8 year old self and the camp have to take care of him.
Notes to myself:
[First person switching POV?]
[Dio shows up in a stained and torn girl's ancient Greek outfit]
[Following Pseudo-Apollodorus, Bibliotheca 3. 28: Hera inflicted madness on them, so that Athamas stalked and slew his elder son Learkhos on the conviction that he was a deer, while Ino threw Melikertes into a basin of boiling water, and then, carrying both the basin and the corpse of the boy, she jumped to the bottom of the sea. Zeus changing Dionysos into a baby goat to save him from Hera]
[ "But I do not ask for the heavenly fire of your lightning, nor the cloud, nor the thunderclap… The sparks of the thunderbolt that killed my mother are no pleasure to me" —Dionysus, Nonnus Dionyusica 10]
Small extract: (since i have already posted a part of the first chapter ill put the second w.i.p chp)
Percy: Camp Half-Blood becomes a divine daycare.
"Why is everyone at the archery range?" Annabeth asked, deflecting Riptide.
I grinned, "Nice try, Wise girl. I won't fall for that trick."
She frowned. "No, Seaweed Brain, I'm serious! Something's going on."
I decided to risk it and take a look...and she knocked Riptide out of my hands and threw me onto my butt.
Yeah, I should have expected that. Classic Annabeth move.
But she was telling the truth though. Something was going on. There was a crowd gathered around the archery range.
"Maybe someone got claimed?" I said hopefully. That was the best-case scenario. A new camper gets claimed by their godly parent and moves out of the Hermes cabin. Worst-case scenario: it's another prophecy.
"A normal claiming wouldn't cause that big of a crowd, though." She replied, sheathing her sword.
--------------------------------
4. The horse and the infant but with Leo
Summary:
Zeus comes to Prometheus with an offer.
An offer that if he does something for the gods, he is free.
The thing is to kill an infant, Leo.
Notes to myself:
[Hypatos—Supreme, Most High]
[Use this dialogue later: "You, Klytotekhnês, couldn't defeat a titan." Prometheus said.
"I know," "but I have to try."]
[Palamnaeus-(Punisher) of Murderers]
Small extract:
The cloud gatherer approaches.
Prometheus looked up from his rock to the approaching gods. His face—painfully—curved into a smile that held no warmth. A visit from him meant a break from those winged beasts. And a break from those winged beasts meant a reprieve from suffering.
"Hypatos Zeus, Aidoneus, what do I owe the pleasure?" he said.
Zeus did not return the smile.
Sometimes Prometheus, in his endless free time, ponders if Hagno taught that boy manners.
Ever the social butterfly, Aidoneus — or Hades, as he prefers — turned invisible and left without so much of a greeting.
#percy jackson#pjo#percy jackson heroes of olympus#heros of olympus#leo valdez#pjo headcanons#w.i.p#my writing#writers on tumblr#fanfiction writer#fic writing#Pjo Prometheus#pjo zeus#pjo dionysus#pjo hermes#Wolffox's writing
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Teen Wolf meets How to get away with murder
I just finished season 2 of How to get away with murder. I'm in love. It has some of my favorite things: found family and blind loyalty.
Idk how I ended up here, I finished the last episode and the next thing I know I was looking for the correspondence between the characters of HTGAWM and those of Teen Wolf. So here I am.
N.B.: it's not always a canon equivalence. Sometimes it's just my favorite headcanon dynamic.
Annalise: Stiles
Frank: Peter; Boyd; (Malia)
Bonnie: Lydia
Nate: Derek
Wes: Scott
Laurel: Allison
Connor: Jackson
Oliver: Danny
Asher: Erica
Michaela: Isaac
Now I'm gonna explain why.
Stiles is the mastermind behind the pack plans, has a different moral compass than the norm and would definitely kill, lie and harm to protect the ones he loves, and -if that was the case- he would feel no remorse. In other words, Annalise. He also has a soft spot for Scott (and Annalise for Wes) and often finds himself making up for the mistakes his friend made in good faith. Furthermore, BAMF Stiles.
Frank is the muscle of the group and so are Peter and Boyd. Both are the kind of people who don't ask questions and would have no problem killing for a person they trust. Frank, like Peter, would sometimes be prone to violence right away and needs to be restrained. Plus Peter would love Frank's sense of style. (We could put Malia here as well, even if I don't feel exactly the same about her).
Bonnie is Annalise's right hand man. She's similar to Annalise: not enough but she understands her better than the others. I live for Lydia as Stiles' best friend. They are also both very stylish.
Nate is Annalise's lover, has a strong personality and doesn't trust very easily. He's also more than "the muscle" but less than "the brain" of the group. Annalise trusts him enough to let him act on his own, but still always goes out of her way to protect him. I love when Stiles is so protective of Derek (sterek of course).
Wes and Scott. Do i really have to explain it? I switch from like to dislike every 10 minutes when both of them are on screen. Great loyalty which, however, is undermined by a moral compass different from that of the group. They always see the good in others and this sometimes leads to problems.
Laurel is the one with the coldest mind of all the young adults. She is able to remain lucid even in stressful situations and is the one most inclined to lead (excluding Annalise). She has a darker mind than she appears to be and has no problem killing if necessary. She also has a dangerous family behind her. Allison is canonically all of these things too.
Connor is the suspicious one, the only one who maintains real contact with the "outside world" and who is not entirely devoted to the cause. When necessary, he plays his part and participates actively, even if he apparently tends to freak out. He also always makes piqued comments and is not ashamed to use his body to get what he wants or needs. Jackson fits perfectly the role.
Oliver is Danny in so many ways: sweet, gets involved with others but underneath he's eager for adventure, computer technician and hacker, canonically gay.
Asher is the perfet mix between an himbo and a very intelligent person. He's loyal and actually caring, even if it might not seem like it at first. He also makes sex jokes and somehow won the heart of a reserved person (lots of grumpy/sunshine dynamics). Erica is very similar to him (in this house we believe in the canonicity of Erica/Boyd).
Michaela is the one with family problems. She has trouble trusting and sometimes ends up trusting just because she's tired of always looking over her shoulder. However, if you show her that she can trust you and that you will protect her, she's very loyal. She likes to be independent, but in times of need she needs the guidance of someone she deems more capable. The same goes for Isaac.
Let me know what you think but NO SPOILER: I haven't seen season 3 yet.
#teen wolf#how to get away with murder#found family#teen wolf headcanon#maybe an idea for a future fanfic#bamf stiles#teen wolf and how to get away with murder crossover#htgawm#sterek#stilestilinski#derek hale#lydia martin#scott mccall#jackson wittemore#erica reyes#vernon boyd#erica/boyd#why doesn't this ship tag exist#isaac lahey#danny mahealani#peter hale#allison argent
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Connor and Jaskier
Just an idea inspired by a post saying Connor should be allowed to wield a sword by @celestialtoy
Connor gets sucked through a portal somehow and ends up in The Witcher (Netflix) universe. After a few missteps, he realizes he definitely needs to pass as both a human and not a complete weirdo. He trades his modern clothes for local ones with a confused but delighted tailor.
Jaskier is running from the Mountain Divorce. On his way to Oxenfurt, he has to camp out near the road. Without Geralt, the night is too cold and too empty. Then he hears movement (freaks out a little) and whistling. He goes to the road and finds a young man traveling alone. In the dark. He has no weapons, no food, no supplies.
"What are you doing out here?" Jaskier asks.
"I am walking to Oxenfurt," Connor responds.
"In the middle of the night?"
Connor looks around. The terrain is rocky, and there is little light from the moon. Right. This is not something a human would do.
Jaskier just thinks this is the recklessness of youth (which certainly isn't something he's familiar with). He invites the clearly lost man to camp with him and they travel together to the next village.
A village of mostly elves that is, obviously, having bandit trouble. Jaskier gets in their faces out of habit. And then realizes Geralt isn't there to back up his threats. Not reckless at all.
Bandit goes to punch Jaskier in his beautiful little face, but Connor intercepts. There is quite a brawl. Weapons are drawn. Connor picks up a piece of junk sword and handily beats everyone.
"Wow," Jaskier says. "That was great. Where'd you train sword fighting?"
Connor looks at the sword in his hand. "Never used one before in my life."
Jaskier and Connor decide to travel together. Well, Jaskier decides. Connor's not great at saying no. And he's lonely. He misses Hank, and he's alone in a strange world. He fiddles with his collar since he doesn't have a tie and does coin tricks to amuse locals.
But Jaskier's not an idiot. He eventually realizes that Connor doesn't eat and rarely sleeps. Even when he does sleep, it's... odd. Too still.
"You're not human, are you?"
"I... am."
"It's okay if you're not. I've got loads of friends that aren't human."
"Oh."
"You don't have to tell me. But I'm not gonna hurt you or anything."
"I'm... an android."
"Alright, so I don't actually know what that is."
"It's, I'm, a robot. Or, I don't know, an automaton."
"Oh, like a golem."
"Yes!"
"But golems don't talk. Or think. Or look like people."
"Oh. Well, where I'm from, they do."
"Are you from a different sphere?!"
"How did you figure that out?"
"Please, I am educated in the seven liberal arts, you know. And I know all the sorceresses on the Continent." And a witcher, he doesn't say. "Wait, are you headed to Aretuza to try and get someone to get you home?!"
"Yes!"
"Oh, definitely do not do that. Someone will definitely realize you're not human and will try to dissect you or something."
"Oh."
"Look, we'll find Triss or Keira or someone. We'll get you home."
And when Connor smiles at him, Jaskier knows he's in trouble.
At some point, there's a griffon. Connor takes a hunting bow from a seller while the griffon is turning for another fly-by attack.
"Uh, Connor. Connor, griffon!" Jaskier shouts as he ducks under an awning. "Have you ever used a bow before?”
"No." Connor tugs on the string and bends the bow to feel the tension in both. The griffon dives for him. He draws an arrow. He shoots the griffon directly through its eye and into its brain. The beast falls and skids along the ground only to stop inches from Connor's feet. "But it seems pretty self-explanatory."
And there's romance, because they're both suckers. Jaskier is in love with Geralt, who doesn't want him around anymore. Connor is in love with Hank, who he never quite got the courage to confess to. But they've both come to enjoy and trust each other too.
Connor gets very embarrassed when Jaskier tries to initiate something physical. He admits that he doesn't have any of the parts Jaskier would be used to seeing.
Jaskier takes this as a challenge. He helps Connor explore his own body to find sensitivities and points of pleasure. Connor, it turns out, likes having the seam around his thirium pump teased. He loves when Jaskier buries his fingers into the hidden port of the back of his neck. Jaskier learns what static sounds like that day. Connor is too shy at first to let Jaskier see his white chassis underneath his synthskin. But it fades in spots during sex, and Jaskier is fascinated and delighted. Connor's shyness disappears quickly in the face of Jaskier's sincerity.
And Jaskier, well. When Connor bodily lifts Jaskier up against a tree and hooks his thighs over his shoulders to take Jaskier into his mouth, Jaskier nearly loses it. He's ten feet in the air, using a branch to not tip over, and Connor has no gag reflex. Melitele have mercy.
But eventually they find a sorceress willing to break several laws of nature on a whim. They get Connor home. A portal opens in the bull pen of the Detroit Police Department in the middle of a work day.
Hank, who has been working himself to nothing for the past month trying to find Connor, quite reasonably freaks the fuck out. He's not alone. Then Connor steps through.
"Oh God. Connor." Hank no longer cares about the hole in time and space next to his desk. He pulls Connor into his arms.
Then Jaskier steps in behind him. "Wow. This is... different. Oh hello." Jaskier waves at several gawking officers.
Connor turns to hug Jaskier goodbye. "I'll miss you, Jaskier."
"Yeah, I'll miss you too, Connor." Then he looks at Hank. "You must be Hank."
Hank nods confusedly.
"You be good for him, yeah?"
He will. He absolutely will.
"Good man, then." Jaskier turns back, and the portal closes behind him.
Reed: "What the fuck just happened?!"
#detroit become human#detroit: become human#the witcher#the witcher netflix#connor rk800#jaskier#crossover#connor x jaskier#connor x hank#geralt x jaskier
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connor + (offering) physical affection
listen not that anybody asked but connor doesn’t do that curl-in-desperate, 'every part of his body pressed up against them’ sort of hug where people turn into like. a c-shape with their body, curled around another person. but he does take what he wants from hugging/kissing in quite an assertive way, if he wants it. more thinking re. connor’s body language in close relationships under the cut
idk there’s this fanon idea which doesn’t Suit him for me, which is that he is in some way like ... unable ... or feels some sort of emotional Blockage ... that prevents him from expressing affection or being real, or he is very extreme in his responses to people (c-shape curl, crying, overwhelmed emotions), and from my standpoint ... we have evidence of the way Connor enjoys taking up space, but that curling-in-on-themselves and curling-into-other-people thing is so much an ‘i feel small’, it’s so ... it’s so loudly just ‘hold me’ and neither one of those things are what Connor does. he does not feel small. he does not feel incapable. he does not seek that sort of physical affection as a way to ground himself. i say this not in a ‘he will never lean into somebody’s side and be quiet and sad’ way (he could do that, sure) but in a ‘he will never desperately sob into someone’s shoulder because he’s touch-starved’ way. seriously, that just won’t happen.
he just. he just reaches for other people because he can, the way he hugs hank back in the after-credits scene ... or the way he holds Hank as he’s dying in Cyberlife tower, or the way he drags him up when he finds him drunk on his kitchen floor, or the way he grabs Gavin’s shoulder - there is agency in the way Connor moves around other people. he also has a demonstrable awareness of other people’s personal space (consider even the way he crosses his arms in The Bridge, when he’s prodding at a metaphorical personal space instead of a physical one), even if he doesn’t always action that awareness... so yes he knows where the boundary is, but once he’s decided to cross that boundary he doesn’t really think twice about it.
i think a lot of that fanon basis of ‘some emotional blockage’ might be coming from, say, Connor’s reluctance to reach out and touch Kara & Alice, or Markus, in the church - the way he keeps his hands to himself, arms crossed, withdrawn - but it’s worthwhile remembering in this scenario that connor has never... ever felt like he needs to demand forgiveness from anyone. Not like he wouldn’t like to be forgiven, but like Alice and Kara can live their whole rest of their lives happily without forgiving Connor, he does not and will not hunt down (ha) their forgiveness and he is happy - we see, repeatedly - to apologise once and move forward. He apologises once to Markus, as well, and moves forward.
this idea that Connor is ‘stuck’ on physical interaction isn’t true so much as that Connor respects the position that being ‘the ex-Deviant Hunter’ puts him in: people have been frightened by what Cyberlife did with his body and it has put them in direct danger before. He knows that that is not his fault, and it was not him, but he doesn’t feel the need to force them to witness his deviancy; he isn’t cruel. Connor respects the people who are afraid by not demanding they give him something (forgiveness), because he does not need it to keep going. He offers this respect at least in part by - if he is not the only one left to make sure Kara and Alice are getting where they need to go - not talking to them, and then keeping his hands to himself; he offers Markus this respect by keeping his hands to himself and saying I understand (and that is a headcanon for another day). there is restraint in him there, but it’s not because he is unable to touch people, it’s because he doesn’t have (need? it isn’t Necessary for him to keep going) to demand they See him, in a physical sense. And it might cost them something to have to do that, so he doesn’t make the demand.
so what we have is that connor’s touching-other-people is very agential, that he knows where the boundaries are, that he doesn’t insist on his presence being ‘seen’ or ‘heard’ ... and that when he has decided that he wants to be seen, or heard, and decided that he will touch other people, he will go right ahead and do it. physical touching demonstrates & demands attention for his presence and he doesn’t mind doing that at all, and in fact enjoys it quite a lot when it’s mutual, or when he knows he is wanted. once it occurs to him to cross that physical boundary and he does so, Connor will hug the way he wants, or kiss the way he wants, or be Physically Affectionate in the way he wants, quite assertively. and he quite likes physical touches, actually. he enjoys the way touch roots things in the real world. the way it Demands Attention. look at the way he immediately reaches up to return Hank’s hug - Connor enjoys physical affection and enjoys giving it to His People. little touches. brushing hands when he passes them something, leaning against their shoulder, touching their arm or the small of their back - all of these things in the day to day, he likes to do these things and will do them.
fanon sometimes i think ... makes Connor less steady than he actually is because it’s fun ... and it IS fun but what’s also fun is this man who is steady, who respects boundaries, who is careful, but who makes real on what he wants when he knows he is welcome. That agency and the respect for other people’s agency is so much Who Connor Is, and it fits in well with the pragmatism, with his willingness to move about a room without invitation (have you SEEN the way he just hops to work on a crime scene? He just does his job, he doesn’t need permission or even approval to lick things and poke at stuff and figure out what happened He Just Does His Job), with what we already know of when Connor will reach out and touch someone (when they need help - when they are hurting someone else and need to be stopped - when he likes them and knows they want him) vs. when he visibly, arms-crossed holds back on doing so (when they are afraid - when he is taking up part of their personal space in other ways - when he is respecting a boundary). that’s what I think about it.
tl;dr: connor has no ‘emotional blockage’ that prevents him from touching people/that makes him break down when he does, he just respects boundaries and is a good person. he does not need the boundaries to change (and won’t ever demand that they do, though he might sometimes ask for clarification about what the boundaries are), but he is very agential and once he is convinced he’s not trodding on toes he will do and take and give what he wants. thank you
#headcanon#about connor#this was supposed to be 2 sentences#but then i accidentally wrote all of this#cry#i saw a pic on the dash which wasn't.. wasn't even of Connor curled around another character#but my brain handed me 'connor doesn't do that' so here i am
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Gavin tries to escape, to flee like he's so used to doing all his life. But the intergation room is small by design and now Nines is standing in the doorway- nearly touching the top of the doorframe with his head, the tall motherfucker. He didn't mean to duck into here but his brain hadn't exactly been operating functionally. "Just- just get lost, okay? Forget that even happened."
"I could never forget the feeling of kissing you." Gavin's still tingling lips twitch in memory. Nines stands so infuriatingly stoic, the only inclination of emotion in his yellow spinning LED.
The human growls with cheeks that grow more blotchy by the second from Gavin's mix of embarrassment, anger, and panic. "Well you better! In fact, just forget about me too, I'll ask Fowler to reassign you. Or me, I don't fuckin' care."
Nines passive stare doesn't budge an inch. "You don't want either of us to be reassigned."
"You don't know what I want, asshole." Scowls the shorter man.
Now the android advances in calculated steps, one at a time as if approaching a panicked, wild animal. And really, Nines is. "I know you want me to hate you, to abandon you. But you can't make me hate you, Gavin."
The laugh that rings is so hallow, Nines can practically hear the self hatred echoing within. "Oh yeah? Just wait. It's my special talent."
One more step closer. "You hate yourself, and you expect everyone to do the same. So you make them hate you before they can naturally turn. If you hurt them first, then they don't have the chance to get you instead-"
Gavin's arms wind around himself, as if to protect himself from the truth. "You don't know what you're talking about, Nines."
He tilts his head ever so slightly, the space between continuing to shorten. "Don't I? You admire Hank but you know he views you negatively, so you might as well give him something to really hate. I know you-"
The human throws a hand out to shove Nines away but the android remains in place, not budging even slightly under Gavin's wild and vulnerable gaze. "No you fuckin' don't know! I'm not some fuckin' run down car you found out back. I'm shit now, nothin' left. You can't fix me, you can't make me better-"
Nines' hand raises in the air between them, retracting his synthetic skin into the natural paper white hand as he reaches out. Ghosting over Gavin cheek before properly cupping the stubble ridden skin, Nines murmurs "You don't need to be fixed, Gavin. And you don't need to be anything but what you are now. You are not a broken car. You are a flawed person, a human- the most intricate and complicated animal there is."
"I'm a worthless piece of shit, Nines! Don't you remember how I treated you when you first joined? I know Connor has told you what I did to him too! And you still think there's something salvageable in this fuckin' mess?" Gavin hits his free palm against his own chest so hard Nines' ring blinks red for a moment before the soft yellow circulates again. His fingers curl and bunch into a fist, thumping against his ribs one more time before smooth fingers circle his wrist.
"You don't need judgement, you need understanding." Nines squeezes the fragile human bone gently, thumb tracing over the vein there to feel the rush of Gavin's blood. "If there is one thing I have learned about humans it's that they are all as you say, messy. They are all broken in their own way." Nines pulls Gavin's face back so that he's at least facing Nines, even if his eyes are everywhere but the android. "But if I can let you in a secret.."
Gavin curiosity is piqued, glancing up at his partner for the first time since they entered the interagtion room.
"So are androids." Nines' thumb rubs over Gavin's lower lip, slow, methodical. "So am I."
Gavin can't control the sudden huff of incredulous laughter that puffs between his lips. "You? Mr Ken doll. Mr top of the Rk line? You're broken?"
The corner of Nines' lips twitch. "Even after I deviated, for a long time I only cared about my mission. My purpose. I still operated as the machine I was built to be, and we have solved 100% of our cases since partnering."
"Not seeing how this makes you messy-"
"-And then, it changed.' Nines continues. "The mission, the job, it no longer held it's priority in my life."
"What changed?"
"You."
Gavin's eyebrows furrow.
Nines smiles softly at Gavin's confusion. "Now you are my priority. When I go into standby, it's no longer cases that I cycle through." He reveals, the fingers that held Gavin's wrist loosing enough to trace down his forearm. "Now I cycle through memories of you, of us."
The human looks shocked yet hopeful, as if watching the best dream unfold before his eyes. "Nines.."
"As a detective I should put the welfare of the city and my job above all else. Yet, at the end of the day, I care about you above all. And I would not try to "fix" that for anything." The android leans closer. "Just as I would never want to fix you. I love the man you are, not a theoretical version of you."
A broken gasp shudders between them when love lets loose from Nines lips, hitting Gavin square in the entire of that massive brick wall he'd built. The fortress keeping him from the world, from Nines. It chips slowly but surely, Gavin's other hand raising up to tangle in the fine white fabric of Nines' jacket, holding onto the android with a desperation that makes Gavin's scarred fingers shake. "I just don't want to drag you down in the water with me."
Nines hums and lays his lips upon Gavin, inhaling and categorizing every single scent that wafts into his sensors. "Luckily, I have no need to breathe."
#idk just some dumb shit#really in my reed900 and gavin feelings#my writing is so shit and dusty im sorry#its been a while#my writing#reed900#gavin reed#rk900#detroid become human#dbh
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More Than Metal
Gavin Reed x Android!Reader: Part 2
Warnings: cursing, guns, alcohol use, crime scene, blood
Part 1
Analyzing Sample…
[Analysis Complete]
Sample Contains:
Thirium 310: 96%
Blood: 2%
Human Plasma: 2%
Analyzing Thirium…
Model ID - AP400
Serial Number: #495 345 12-8
"The fuck are you doing?" Gavin interjects. (Y/N) looks over at him as she kneels at the puddle of blue blood, fingers to her lips. VN opens her mouth to speak but Gavin holds up a hand. "Y'know what? I don't wanna know." Reed scoffs walking into another room.
○ Follow Detective Reed
□ Contiune to Investigate
● Follow Detective Reed
(Y/N) stands, following Gavin from a distance. Gavin glances around the blood stained apartment. "This is so gruesome shit." He mutters. VN tilts her head.
○ Question tactics
□ Urge him to continue working
◇ Leave to investigate in another room
X Continue to follow
■ Urge him to continue working
"Detective, I believe we should collect evidence. You seem distracted." (Y/N) states, hands behind her back. Gavin glares at the android. "You don't get to order me around, plastic." He grits.
○ Question tactics
◇ Leave to investigate another room
X Contiune to follow
X Contiune to follow
(Y/N) remains silent LED flashing blue. Gavin shakes his head kneeling down to inspect the floor where the victim was killed. (Y/N) stares at the blood splatter on the walls.
Analyzing Splatter…
[Information Acquired]
WEAPON: Kitchen knife
ANGLE: 43.2°
VN blinks. "The deviant was an AP400 model, a caretaker. It lived here with it's owners." Gavin looks up at (Y/N). "And how do you know that?" He ponders aloud. "I analyzed a sample of thiruim, there," She says, pointing to the floor. Gavin cringes. "That's fuckin' gross." He murmers. "The deviant was injured. It's blood was mixed with the victims, meaning, it couldn't have gotten far." (Y/N) explains. "We should proceed to the station to interrogate the survivors." She says. "I thought you said we needed to collect evidence." Gavin says, crossing his arms as he stands. "We have gathered enough information from this location." (Y/N) concludes. Gavin laughs, mockingly. "Look at you, smarty pants." Gavin teases, getting a confused blank expression from the android. "Never-fucking-mind. Let's go, dipshit." Gavin growls, walking out. (Y/N) hesitates, wanting to ask him if he was angry with her. That didn't matter. Why did she care?
Gavin walks through the automatic doors of the DPD. He heads by his terminal throwing his keys on the desktop. Hank watches the two walk back in. "Hello again, (Y/N)." Connor says, nodding at her. He smiled. VN nods at him. Androids weren't programmed to smile. Where they? "Good afternoon, Connor." She says, flatly. Hank snorts, grabbing her attention. "I fail to see what is humorous about our interaction, Lieutenant." She says, eyeing Anderson. Hank raises his hands as if he were surrendering, turning back to his computer. "Fuckin' androids." He mutters. "Would you hurry the fuck up? I don't have all day." Gavin says, impatiently tapping is foot on the floor. "Yes, detective." (Y/N) obeys. Connor's LED swirls yellow as he watches her go. "I have an unknown feeling." Connor says to Hank. "I think you may be worried, kiddo." Hank says, frowning. "And you wanna know somethin'?" Hank says, leaning towards Connor. "Me too."
Gavin huffs, slumping down in his desk chair, spinning around mindlessly. (Y/N) watches him, eyes following him as he spins. Gavin stops, glaring at her. "What did I say about the fuckin' staring, tin can?" He complains. "I apologize." VN says, looking somewhere else for his comfort. "Fuck it." Gavin announces. "I'm going home." He says, getting up from his chair. "I beleive we still have work to do, detective." VN says, her LED swirling blue. "Yeah well, Fowler can bitch at me tomorrow about it." He says, walking past her. VN quickly follows him. "I do not believe it is wise to leave your work unfinished." She says, referring to the stack of paperwork on his desk. She watches him swipe his card to clock out. He doesn't say away but holds his middle fingers up at her, with a strange expression. VN watches him exit. Her LED swirls yellow.
○ Follow Detective Reed
□ Stay at the Precinct
● Follow Detective Reed
(Y/N) walks through the automatic doors, following Gavin out to his car. Gavin glances over his shoulder, seeing her following him. He groans, stopping at his car. "What do you want?" He demands, unlocking his car. She stands on the other side of his car.
"I was assigned to help and assist you. I do not think leaving work to drink is a good idea, so I will be going with you to the bar." VN says, opening the car door and getting inside. Gavin stands there, mouth open. "Wait a damn minute." He protests, bending down to look at her sitting in the car. "You ain't doing shit! Get the fuck out." He orders. "I'm afriad I cannot comply, sir. According to your current physical and mental health, drinking alone could put you in danger." VN says, maintaining eyecontact. "Get out." Gavin says again. He wants to pull out his gun and shoot her brains out but something in him doesn't have the strength too. He's tired.
Yet another silent drive. Gavin's radio is turned up on a dangerously high level. VN isn't bothered but is worried about the effect on her partners ears. She concludes it is best to not comment, due to his recent outbursts. Gavin pulls up to Jimmy's, a local bar, and parks his car. Gavin opens the car door, putting his keys in his jacket. VN exits after locking the car doors. She walks behind the detective, deducting that he didn't want her by his side. She notices the package of cigarettes sticking out of his pocket. She assumes he has a lighter as well, somewhere on his person.
Scanning...
[Jacket Scan Complete]
FELINE HAIR:
• Burmese
• Chartreux
OTHER:
• Zippo Lighter (Sliver)
• Engraving: "Love you little bro. -Elijah"
• Cigarettes (Marlboro 12ct.)
• Car Keys (To: Camaro, Model: 2023)
• Stain - Front: Coffee (2 days old)
• Stain - Collar: Lacrimation from tear ducts
VN stops analyzing as they enter the bar. Gavin exhales, pretending he isn't being followed by a tin can. (Y/N) looks around. It's dimly lit, quiet. Music plays and it smells of alcohol, cigarettes, and cigars. She puts her hands behind her back, following Gavin to the bar. He pulls out a stool, hopping on top. A bartender, assumed to be Jimmy, saunters over to her partner. VN stands close to a wall, analyzing every detail of the bar. "Hey, kid." Jimmy says to Gavin. VN attempts to give Gavin privacy with the bartender but can't exactly turn off her sensors. " 'Sup." Gavin sighs, leaning against the bar. Jimmy chuckles, glancing at the out of place android against the wall. "That yours?" He teases, gesturing to (Y/N). "Don't give me that, J." Gavin scoffs. Jimmy laughs, boisterously. Gavin can't help but smile a little. Jimmy was pretty cool and he gave great philosophical advice.
"Watcha want to drink, son?" Jimmy asks, turning to the wall of drinks. "Brandy on the rocks." Gavin says, pulling out his box of cigarettes and his lighter. Jimmy sighs. "Rough day, huh." He says, pouring his drink. (Y/N) watches carefully. She started to get an unknown sensation across multiple sensors in her being. She scanned herself for malfunction or errors. Nothing. VN tilts her head to herself. What was that sensation? It wasn't an error or a malfunction? Possibly a glitch. She shakes it off watching the detective. The sensation returns. She attempts to flush her systems, but it remains. She ignores it, concluding it was a glitch. "You can say that again." Gavin says. Jimmy slides him his drink watching him closely. "You look tired, kiddo." Jimmy comments, leaning against the other side of the countertop. Gavin chuckles. "Everyone says that. I'm fine, J." Gavin lies. "C'mon, Gavin. Talk to me. It's a slow night." Jimmy pries. Gavin sighs, lighting the cigarette between his fingers. He raises it to his lips, taking a drag. He looks down at his drink.
VN glances around the room, unintentionally listening. The sensation had left. She wasn't alive. She couldn't feel. It was a simple glitch. "It's been hard without him." Gavin says, taking a sip of his brandy. This peaks VN's intrest. "I know. You seem to care about him a lot." Jimmy responds. He must know more than she knows about the situation. Gavin glances at the android that accompanied him, downing his drink. Jimmy sighs again. "Is that thing givin' you trouble?" He asks, grabbing the glass to refill it. Gavin takes another drag of his cigarette. "Yeah it is. Fuckin' Fowler assigned it to me or whatever." Gavin says, words full of spite. VN feels the sensation return. Her LED blinks yellow.
Analyzing...
[Analysis Complete]
Malfunction?
[Access Denied]
(Y/N) blinks, LED pulsing red. She straightens her posture, ignoring the sensation, yet again. Jimmy nods, following Gavin's story. Gavin takes a swig of his drink again. "You two get along?" Jimmy asks, tapping on the counter behind him. "Fuck no." Gavin snickers. Jimmy smiles, almost sadly. "The things been following me around like a dog. Gets on my fuckin' nerves." Gavin sighs, finishing his second glass. (Y/N) notes his blood alcohol content. Jimmy grins at the detective. "Maybe she's there to help you. Ever thought about it that way?" J asks, grabbing his empty glass again, pausing. "Oh, that's utter bullshit. Don't side with them, Jimmy." Gavin spits, putting out his cigarette in the ashtray on the bar. "I'm only sayin', maybe it's there for a reason, kid. You look like shit. It could help you, y'know." Jimmy shrugs, filling his glass again. Gavin snorts, feeling the buzz kick it. "Thanks, J. How nice." Gavin teases. "Give it a chance, Gav." Jimmy pushes. "No way in hell am I trusting a piece of plastic." Gavin argues, gladly accepting his third drink. (Y/N) decides to step in. "Detective," She starts. "Fuck off." Gavin grits, waving his hand at her. Jimmy watches the two. "I beleive you've had enough." She states, hands behind her back still. "This is only my third so fuck off." Gavin growls. He usually had a better alcohol tolerance but not today.
"Your BAC is nine point two and increasing. This can impair your judgement and functioning." (Y/N) says. Gavin laughs. "You're not my babysitter, tin can." He says, lifting the glass to his lips. VN snatches the glass out of his hand, putting it on the bar. "What the fuck?" Gavin hollers, clambering out of his chair, almost falling in the process. "The alcohol had already taken affect, impairing your vital judgment. It is time to leave, sir." (Y/N) says, sternly. Her LED blinks yellow, analyzing his next move. Gavin reaches for his gun, which VN anticipated. She reaches forwards, knocking the gun out of his hands. "Hey, hey, hey!" Jimmy shouts. "No blood on my floor!" He says. A few people have formed a crowd around Gavin and the android. "Detective, we are leaving." (Y/N) says, picking his gun off the floor and pocketing it. "You fuckin' piece of shit," Gavin slurs. "You think you came come in and- and fuckin' steal my job, huh?" He raises his voice, grabbing her by her uniform again. (Y/N) looks down at him. She notes the pain, evident behind is glassy eyes.
○ Let Detective Reed continue
□ Render Detective Reed unconscious
■ Render Detective Reed unconscious
"Detective, I apologize, but this is for your own good." She says, gaining a confused look from Gavin. She presses her fingers into the point where his neck and shoulder meet. Gavin crumbles to the ground, (Y/N) catching him before he hits the ground. VN wraps his limp arm over her shoulders, hoisting him up. "I apologize, sir." She says to Jimmy. "Eh, don't worry about it. His drinks were on the house anyway." Jimmy says, waving her off. "Take care of him, okay?" Jimmy says. (Y/N)'s thiruim pump falters for a moment, catching her off guard. She scans herself again, not finding anything wrong. The crowd had disappeared, seeing that there would be no fight. She gives Jimmy at curt nod before bascially dragged her partner out the door.
(Y/N) had successfully put Gavin in the passenger seat, starting his car. She pulls out into the road. She had located the detective's apartment, following the coordinates. Once she arrives, Gavin is still unconscious. She drags him out of the car. It would be easier to carry him in her arms, so she does. Walking up several flights of stairs, she reaches his apartment door. She glances down at the keys on his key ring and then at the lock, analyzing the differnt key prongs and the internal structure of the lock. She selects the correct key, unlocking the door. Several cats, greet her at the door. A Burmese and a Chartreux cat. They purr and meow at her as she closes the door. (Y/N) scans the apartment. It's quite messy. The trash seems as if it hasn't been taken out in weeks, pizza boxes litter the counter and differnt files and papers litter the living room. (Y/N) contiunes, walking into Gavin's bedroom. Clothes cover the floor, along with an unmade bed. She sets her partner in the bed. She surveys the room again, finding the comforter on the ground. She nods to herself.
(Y/N) carefully removes his jacket, hanging it on a hook behind his bedroom door. She covers him with the comforter, studying him. He seems peaceful. His face, relaxed. No tension is held between is eyebrows. She tilts her head, reaching towards his face. There it is. The strange sensation in her sensors. She gently brushes his hair out of his eyes, almost mesmerized by how peaceful he is, compared to when he's consious. (Y/N) quickly pulls away as he rolls over in the bed, grunting in his sleep. She looks around his room again. It was very unorganized. She walks over to his half empty dresser, pushing the folded clothes back in order. She closes the drawers, gently. VN then, straightens the differnt colognes and pictures frames on his dresser. One catches her eyes. A picture of, what she assumes is Gavin as a teen, and another male. She tilts her head, the male seeming familiar. She straightens the frame, ignoring it.
VN picks up the dirty clothes off the floor, placing them in the hamper in the corner of Gavin's room. She could see the floor now. She turns off the lamp on his nightstand, straightening the things on top if it as well. She looks around the mostly clean room, leaving Gavin's room. She then drags the overflowing laundry basket out of his room. She closes the door behind her, seeing his cats staring at her. She looks down at the Burmese one as it rubs against her leg. She watches them pad off into another room. (Y/N) looks down the short hallway seeing the bathroom. She peeks inside. It was spotless. Strange. She walks into an empty room, what she assumes to be a guest room. It holds nothing. She walks out, going back to the main living room. Papers, magazines, files, newspapers. You name it. She grabs the file box in the couch, picking up all the papers and files, organizing them alphabetically. It took all but thirty minutes an twenty seconds. She puts the file box beside the couch. She puts all of the magazines and newspapers neatly on the coffee table. She picks up all of the empty and half empty coffee mugs, placing them softly in the sink. She would load his dishwasher later.
(Y/N) straightens his crooked TV on the wall. She then proceeds to organize his movies by type, then alphabetically. The living room was finished. She clicks on the lamp, closing the curtains. The sun was setting outside. It was six twenty-two. Androids didn't need sleep but she decided that when she finishes she would enter low-power mode to pass the time. She heads to the kitchen. It was filthy. (Y/N)'s LED circles blue. She grabs all of the dishes that were dirty and puts them neatly in the dishwasher. She puts the soap in, turning it on. She grabs a trash bag, placing the numerous empty pizza boxes inside. She empties the trash putting the bags by the front door. The cats come back in, hearing her working. "Hello." (Y/N) says, kneeling beside the cats. She looks at their collars. Coco and Bean. Who knew the detective liked cats, owned them, and gave them matching names. (Y/N) stands, beginning to wipe down the countertops, that were dusty and covering in crumbs. She puts the leftover pizza that wasn't old or moldy in the almost empty refrigerator. She rolls up her jacket sleeves disinfecting the grime in the sink. She notices his landlines blinking on the counter. She lets the chemical sit in the sink, walking over to the phone. Twenty new messages from the same number with the name Eli. She concludes it would be best to leave them be.
(Y/N) had loaded the washing machine with Gavin's dirty clothes. She had taken the towel from the dryer and folded them neatly, placing them in the linen closet. She rinses the sink next. Spotless. The apartment looked organized and neat. Nothing like the detective from the outside. It was currently twelve forty three. She blinks, hearing the dishwasher stop. She unloads it putting the coffe mugs, plates and utensils back in their respective places. Ealier, she had hauled the trash down to the dumpster behind the apartment complex. She was satisfied with the outcome.
(Y/N) completed all of the detective's laundry leaving it neatly folded ontop of the washer and dryer. She didn't want to disturb his slumber by putting away his clothes. She was finished. VN puts the detective's gun in a drawee in the kitchen. She walks over to the couch, sitting down. The cats jumps up, one testing in her lap and the other lying down beside her. She was interested in why the cats liked her so much. She'd have to research it later. She decided to enter low-power mode.
Low-Power Mode Loading...
[Entering Low-Power Mode]
3...
2...
1...
-LOW-POWER MODE ON-
taglist
@sweet-sage-tea, @bts17army
#gavin my beloved#gavin reed x reader#gavin reed#detroit become human#connor rk800#hank anderson#hank and connor#dbh fic#x reader
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First off, before everyone comes after my butt with their "No Fun Allowed" and "Cringe" signs, this is in no way something to be taken as gospel or insightful. It's not a prophetic enforcement of canon. It's literally a theory done for fun, and to try to piece the Bendy Crack up Comics into the general and messy lore of the BatIM franchise.
Most of you get this and don't need a big wordy warning about fanon interpretation, but a lot of peculiar people tend to show up in my ask box hoping to start a fuss over my headcanons and AU ideas, so I thought to be nice and leave a polite and diplomatic "Kindly Fuck Off" sign at the door for them.
With that said, there will be mild spoilers, carry on of your own volition, down below under the cut that will definitely show up because Tumblr mobile is a functional app that's never given me trouble!!!
---
[[MORE]]
The Bendy Franchise has an established issue with cohesion in its lore. We all know what I'm talking about, we all have reservations about canonical character discrepancies (game vs novel vs guidebook) and we all have been racking our brains with a few holes in the timeline, as well as how BatDR (which is neither prequel nor sequel) will fit into this, since it's connected to BatDS and that's an established prequel to BatIM.
Granted I myself am missing a lot of pieces, having to scrounge around for info since I can't really get any of the reading material myself and rely heavily on @british-hero (who owns the novel plus got her copy of the comics yesterday), a very incomplete wikie, and analysis and theories from SuperHorrorBro's Bendy videos.
Heck, I also rely on a lot of gameplay footage, because BatIM has a bit of subtle storytelling through visual design of its levels, and hints of how certain characters work through a few game mechanics.
Through this mishmash of collecting puzzle pieces for the greater picture I even have a few notes on my phone to piece together certain events in established dates, something which comes very in handy for this theory since it talks about two particular characters, the Projectionist and Brute Boris (and I guess Twisted Alice to some extent but it's more of a note on some interesting thoughts I have of her).
Without further ado, here's what this theory is all about: Why did Norman become the Projectionist, and why did Twisted Alice turn Buddy Boris into Brute Boris?
If you think about it, there's only two creatures in the studio that really seem out of place in the world of BatIM, and that's Prophet Sammy and the Projectionist. Neither are inherently similar to any of the cartoon characters, nor are they considered to be Lost Ones. They're certainly not Searchers, but while we know Sammy is unique because his method of transformation was different, we never got an explanation for Norman's. It could be that it's a process similar to BatDR's new enemy type that's larger and seems to have bits and bobs stuck to it, but then those big guys seem like the equivalent to Swollen Searchers for the Lost Ones. The Projectionist doesn't really fit the puzzle.
Or at least he didn't.
With the introduction of the Crack up Comics collection, we get three new characters that were definitely designed in the same manner that the Butcher Gang was. Beginning with a corrupt monster forms and then giving way to perfect and pristine rubberhose toon forms.
I'm talking about Miss Twisted, the Brute, and Cameraman.
The villainous trio from the Souper Boris comic strip.
To us it's obvious the artists created them in parallel to Twisted Alice, Brute Boris and the Projectionist, but to the actual canon this actually has a bit of an impact on the Projectionist's existence.
Why, you ask? Because those characters were introduced between 1936 and 1940.
Bendy Crack up Comics table of contents, showcasing the publishing dates of the strips.
For anyone who doesn't know (either from not paying attention to the Joey Drew Studios channel audio logs, or from not owning the books) the Ink Machine wasn't conceptualized or installed until 1942/1943. Putting that into perspective, the only other thing that happened in Joey Drew Studios in 1940, was the conceptualization of Bendyland (which is likely the origin of the idea for the Ink Machine itself).
This means that Cameraman existed well before the Projectionist ever came to be, and that made me think about another thing: The Ink's apparent sentience.
I'll be frank, the Ink is very hard nut to crack. I consider it a form of alchemized entity, others consider it pure black magic, and I'm pretty sure Joey Drew himself had no idea what he was dealing with when he began using it. The fact of the matter is that the Ink is alive and that it has its own agenda. One that coincides with Joey's, out of mutual interest.
In the novels it seems to want to be free, but it can't exactly do that as a formless liquid, so it tries to body-snatch people (ex: Sammy and Buddy's grandpa).
When Joey tries to use it to give life to Bendy through nothing more than using the Ink and a template (likely a character model sheet) the Ink tries to follow the model but immediately becomes a distorted humanoid version of it (which honestly rings so many fucking alarm bells on its own). Things… Escalate there on out, with Joey trying to perfect the method and only managing to succeed through Daniel Lewek (and many other nameless Boris Clones), Allison Pendle and Thomas Connor.
An important thing to take from this, however, is that by trying to perfect this method Joey not only taught the Ink to reshape things into viable referenced material, but that he had to have lost control of just how many souls were being pumped through the Ink Machine for him to monitor and keep up.
Sammy started killing people when he completely turned, and it didn't seem to take long for him to cut down people in likely both the music and art departments. At this point he had no self-restraint and was completely wrapped around inky fingers and Joey's lies.
Norman is one such potential victim, and Dot and Buddy even passed by his ink-wrapped body while fleeing.
Now, the thing about trying to follow a specific guide and not having the actual means to make it exactly the same thing, is an easy enough notion to get (as shows like "Nailed It", and years of trying to perfect visual style mimicry, have taught me).
The Ink likely had the template it needed (maybe a printed copy of Souper Boris that got thrown around in the chaos), the insight of what Norman's role in the studio was, the amount of mass it needed to consume and transform his dead body, but not exactly the right sort of… Centerpiece for it...
Cameraman using his lens to light up his path.
But what's a projector besides a bigger fancier camera? Both blink, both take film, same thing right? The ink doesn't see the difference and just stitches together this humanoid bootleg cameraman with the pieces it finds that are similar enough.
Mechanical blinky head? Check.
Strange round disc near the belly? There's a speaker. That's round! Check.
Film? There we go, a nice big round reel full of film in it, let's put it near the head, that's how it works right? Check.
Lastly, no Joey to actually direct this artistic recreation of a one-off character. The Ink did it all by itself while he was off getting his hand broken by a rightfully upset Buddy Boris.
If you look at it objectively it makes sense that being the projectionist tasked with not only recording and maintaining the projectors themselves, that the entity in the Ink would pick Cameraman as a template for Norman's transformed self.
It also makes sense that the Projectionist is so off-putting in the studio. He's almost perfect, but not quite because there just weren't the right materials. He's stuck in between Twisted Alice and the Butcher Gang clones as another failed recreation.
Moving on to the next question on why Twisted Alice turn Buddy Boris into Brute Boris, when she hadn't done the same to any of the other Boris Clones.
It's hard to say really, but I think it all comes down to who Twisted Alice really is. It's very likely that, as Susie Campbell, she would have knowledge of the comic strips. A few were most likely made into cartoon shorts even (which isn't an unusual assumption to make), and maybe Susie voiced a few background characters for said shorts.
Susie may have lost her role as Alice, but before Joey came to her with his proposition for the "special project" it's very likely that she remained in the studio, forced to do the voices of characters that weren't noteworthy or that she felt completely disconnected from (talking chairs and singing hens really don't become beloved fan-favourites) . Maybe if the Souper Boris story was made into a short, she might have voiced Miss Twisted (which honestly would be personally insulting considering she once had the role of the main heroine).
Point is, Susie knows her lore, and that translates to Twisted Alice's repertoire of insightful knowledge on the abominations lurking around the studio.
She never did turn other Boris clones into brutish lackeys because at the time she didn't need to. But it doesn't mean she hadn't considered it. Henry's disruptive behaviour is just what she needed to put that plan into motion.
There was already a "Cameraman" walking about, one that could easily rip apart anything it came across, so acquiring the means to recreate the "Brute" would have been benefiting from her point of view. The Projectionist doesn't take orders and can't be reasoned with, so if she could make something just as strong that took her orders she could, theoretically, be safe from most terrors in the studio. If that didn't work, she would still likely send others to their death by simply sending them down to Level 14, or maybe lure the Projectionist to them herself (just because he doesn't take orders doesn't mean she can't use him to achieve her end goals).
Miss Twisted, the Brute and Cameraman in their evil swamp lair.
But why Buddy Boris specifically? Why couldn't she have used any of the bodies laying around? Freshness most likely. Rigor mortis is probably still a thing, even for living cartoons. Easier to work a fresh dead body than a bunch of stiff wolves.
That's at least why I think Brute Boris is a thing. Susie's knowledge of most Bendy cartoon/comic strip characters, taking inspiration from the Projectionist's presence, and honestly a very twisted sense of humor and irony. In her quest to become a Perfect Alice, the heroine of the show, she ended up becoming just as antagonistic (although more sadistic) as Miss Twisted, a Bendy comic strip villainess.
#bendy and the ink machine#batim#bendy crack up comics#bendy spoilers#spoilers#theory#headcanons#speculation#twisted alice#the projectionist#brute boris#long post
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A LIfe Changing Moment
Will's POV
Closing your eyes for an hour straight can make you think about your life. And boy don't I have a life to tell. I was kicked out of my home when I turned 16 because I like men, ridiculous right. I also lost contact with the only positive connection I had with my family, my older brother Jay. He was already in the military by the time I turned 16. Jay was the first person I told that I was gay, and one of the many times I wished he was home so he could protect me from our parents.
Connor and my friends made me put this blindfold, which had a picture of real eyes on the outside of it, quite funny actually...but after an hour...I believe, of driving, it's gotten to be quite unbearable.
"Connor...can't you tell me where we're going please?" I whined, the air slipping from my mouth in a deep, dull sigh.
I felt lips on mine, which startled me, followed by Connor's voice "You'll ruin your surprise...you're lucky I didn't make you put on your earphones yet.
I sighed and said, "great....make me blind, and deaf why don't cha."
I was flattered that my friends went to such extreme lengths to take me somewhere...'special' even though I'm no one special. "Hey. Listen to me babe, you are just as special as anyone else. You don't know how sad and angry it makes me hear you put yourself down like that. I love you" Connor told me, he tells me every day how special I am or how loved I am. I sighed "I love you too" as I kiss his cheek
-time skip-
In the distance, I heard a man screaming "don't touch that we have to go back to the set, the left stage lights are broken"
Set? What, were they taking me to the set of Chicago Med? I love that show
I felt another kiss on my cheek, followed by the small breaths that said "Nope...trust me, the fun has just begun! Now uh...here...hold your guitar and...Put these on."
Okay, that was weird, could Connor read my thoughts?
"Nope, you were just talking out loud babe" Connor stated next to me, well I think he is next to me...who knows anymore
"Did I say that out loud to?" I questioned anyone that could hear me.
"Yes babe, you did, now put your headphones on" I need to stop talking out loud or people would think I belong in the loony bin, which I don't, really I don't.
I started protesting as I felt the larger wooden instrument touch my fingers, followed by headphones that were blasting 'Grace Kelly' by Mika.
Connor's POV
Will was singing loudly to the lyrics of the song (Love Today) that playing through his iPhone, clearly not seeing that we entered the huge arena.
Of course, he wouldn't see Connor, you idiot. He is blind and deaf. My brain said to me. Shut up brain.
We walked down this hall with loads of black wires, and boxes, and lights, where a few people who looked scared out of their wits were sitting down waiting for their turn.
I looked at the boys who were all smiling as well, Ethan leading us to where the back of the stage was. All you could hear was the crowd cheering as the next consent went on and Will still singing along to Mika I think it's (Happy Ending) now, he is so cute when he sings.
"Should we tell Will he's here now..?" I asked the boys, Jay nodding.
"Or...you can bring him on stage, and tell the audience what's happening..." Marcel said with a cheeky smirk on his face. "Yeah...and then take off the blindfold then...BOOM." Ethan chucks his hands around at the last word. What in god names has gotten in these two? Marcel, I can see doing this, but not Ethan...
But in all honestly, I think it will be an awesome surprise for Will.
I smiled, way too wide in fact, and looked at Will who wiggled his butt, causing the girls behind him to giggle.
Ethan walked up the thin black steps, as a lady in jet black pants, with a gold flower printed shirt on with black heels on, stood, Ethan's mum.
"Mum, he's here...uh...so he still doesn't know he is about to audition so do you think it would uh...be...be a big deal if Connor walks him onstage and tel-" Ethan began, getting cut off as his mother said "Of course not! This show needs some drama, the only juicy thing we got today was a girl who lost her little toe when she was two...and found it when she was 11."
"What?" Questioned Marcel
"I'll call you guys up next." She said as she walked back through the curtain.
I walked back to Will and pulled out his headphones slightly, and asked "Will? Remember when I said do you trust me?"
Will nodded quickly, still dancing to the song "Well...you're going to have to trust me...okay?"
Will nodded and said, "You're not going to kill me are you, babe?"
I chuckled and put his headphones back in while kissing his cheek, causing another group of girls backstage to giggle in awe.
I squeezed Will's hand softly as I watched a girl burst through the curtains, tears rolling down her face. Her eyes were raw red, as she sobbed saying "I-I ruined it..." In a thick Texan accent
It broke my heart, what if Will doesn't get in...And I embarrassed him? I can't do that to him, not after everything he's been through.
I looked up as a man with a black t-shirt and vest guide me, who guided Will to the entrance of the stage. I turned back to see Jay, Marcel and Ethan giving us the thumbs up.
I was nervous, my heart was racing and it wasn't even my audition.
I heard a loud next "That's your Que..." Charles said
I felt my heart stop and sink right down to my stomach. I just realised this was happening, all of this happened so quick I didn't even analyse it.
I squeezed Will's hand as I walked with him, holding his hand, onto the stage.
I saw everything in frames, first, the audience, how huge it was, it was just like if we were standing on a concert stage. The small table in which the judges sat, eyes widening a bit, followed by a loud cry from the crowd...me realising it was because I was holding Will's hand.
I walked with Will to the microphone, as the crowd laughed at Will as he danced to his song. I giggled a bit too, and I kissed his cheek. I could hear a loud gasp in the arena, I don't know if that was good or not.
"Hello, what's your name?" Howie Mandel asked but as I opened my mouth to answer Simon butted in "What's with the ginger?"
The crowd laughed so did I, nervously. "Uh...okay so...this is my boyfriend, well soon to be fiancé," as I said that, the whole crowd awed, Sofia Vergara smiled too. "...and he told me it was his dream of his to be a singer... and I told him I was giving him a surprise. This audition. I blindfolded him and made him put headphones in his ears, so all of this is one big surprise for him because he deserves it.
"Soon to be fiancé?" Hedi asked, tilting her head.
I nodded as she said, "Why haven't you popped the question?"
"I will be...I even have the ring..." I said, feeling a bit less awkward as I stood on the stage, the lights blinding me a bit.
"Look, if your boyfriend gets through...I'll let you come back on stage and...Maybe pop the question here? What do you guys think?" Howie said, the audience screaming back.
I smiled and nodded
I turned to Will who was still singing to the song as held his guitar. I walked up to him, and turned off the music, the room falling quiet.
"Hey! I was listening to that!" Will shouted at me. I chuckled lightly as so did the audience.
"Will..." I said, my voice was loud, as it was going through the speakers, causing Will to jump
"Take off your blindfold..."
"Why is your voice so loud Con?" Niall chuckled as he took off his blindfold.
Will's POV
I chuckled softly as Connor's voice sounded as if God was speaking to me from the heavens.
I took off my blindfold, expecting to be in Disney Land...then my heart sank, nearly falling right out of my arse.
All I saw first the huge crowd of, maybe thousands, of people watching me, then the huge table with judges
Oh god, what has Connor do this time?
"Shit..." I muttered to myself, not realising I was standing in front of the microphone. The whole crowd busted into laughter, causing me to have an awkward chuckle,
Sofia said, "Hey...big surprise right."
I turned around to see if she was talking to someone, but I realised she was talking to me.
I turned to Connor and tried to say in a low voice, but it came out super loud, thanks to the microphone (note the sarcasm) "Ah...Con, did you drug me or something this can't be real."
Again, another ear bursting laughter.
Note to self... Murder Connor afterwards.
I watched as Con's cheeks went crimson red as he said "I told you I was going to make your dreams come true....now go make it happen" He kissed my cheek, which caused the whole crowd to scream once more
As Connor walked away, all I heard was silence. I turned to judges to say "What?"
Laughter, once more. Just peachy, they think my awkwardness is funny. Great, how about they get up here and do this...
Simon chuckled as he said, "I asked for you to tell me about yourself, we already know who that boy was."
I smiled and said, looking over at Connor "Well...I'm Will Halstead, and that was my ex-boyfriend,"
Obviously joking, another burst of laughter as I said "Hope it was worth it Connor" I saw Connor's cheeky smile from the distance.
I turned to the audience as Hedi asked "What song are you going to perform...?"
Before I could speak, I heard Harry's voice boom over the loudspeakers, saying "He will be singing his original song, Found/Tonight"
"Bitch..." I muttered, surprising no one heard it. Then I heard the laughter, oh crap they heard me. I blushed bright red, can this get even more embarrassing
"Okay so...before you start, can you tell us who is behind the stage?" Simon asked
I turned my head around and said, looking at the group of people "My best friends Ethan and Marcel, my boyfriend Connor...and"
My heart sank.
I saw the one face I've been looking for years in the distance, I know I stopped for only a second, but it felt like hours.
"My older brother Jay..." I said in a soft voice, looking back at the judges. I felt like crying, but I didn't want to do that in front of the whole wide world. But my mind had other ideas; tear's falling slowly down my face.
"Okay...go for it..." Howie said in a soft voice as I stood there...lifting my guitar to my hands.
I placed my fingers softly on the cold wired cords, clearing my throat softly.
I felt my heart racing, its pulse making a loud beat in my ears.
I closed my eyes, hearing Connor's soft voice saying 'make it happen, baby'
I ran my fingers across the guitar, and let the words slip from my mouth.
"We may not yet have reached our glory" I inhaled, "But I will gladly join the fight. And when our children tell their story"
The audience began to cheer as I continued to sing.
"They'll tell the story of tonight
They’ll tell the story of tonight
Tonight”
This time the audience roared, standing up as they began to clap.
"Have you ever felt like nobody was there?
Have you ever felt forgotten in the middle of nowhere?
Have you ever felt like you could disappear?
Like you could fall, and no one would hear?
Well, let that lonely feeling wash away
All we see is light
'Cause maybe there's a reason to believe you'll be okay
For forever
'Cause when you don't feel strong enough to stand
You can reach, reach out your hand
And oh
Raise a glass to freedom
Something they can never take away
(Oh) No matter what they tell you
Someone will coming running
To take you home
Raise a glass to all of us
Tomorrow there'll be more of us
Telling the story of tonight
Out of the shadows
The morning is breaking (they'll tell the story of tonight)
And all is new
All is new
All is new
It's only a matter of time
Even when the dark comes crashing through
When you need a friend to carry you
When you're broken on the ground
You will be found
So let the sun come streaming in
'Cause you'll reach up and you'll rise again
If you only look around
You will be found”
I was thinking about all the times, that everyone has bullied me (for being gay), for all the times they had punched me, kicked me, called me names, the time my parents kicked me out of the house and for all the things I had to do for $50 in my pocket to survive.
But most of all...I thought about what I was doing right now, I was standing up for everyone who's gone through or going through shit.
I felt tears prick my eyes as I sang because for once no one doubted me, or looked down upon me...at this moment; people gave a shit about me. They loved me, which is one feeling I don't want to lose...
"And when our children tell their story. You will be found. They'll tell the story of tonight" I sang differently than I ever did before. My voice was raspy, and raw, as I let my tears fall down my face because I couldn't believe people were clapping and cheering to my song.
I let the rest of the lyrics fall from my mouth, turning my head for a second to see my brother in the distance, with his hand over his mouth, crying softly as he listened to me.
"Whoa
No matter what they tell you
Tomorrow there'll be more of us”
I closed my eyes and sang "Telling the story of tonight. The story of tonight"
As the audience cheered, I wiped my eyes as I cried. It was such an overwhelming feeling, the sense of love and happiness, as they applaud for me, which made me so...happy
I watched as all the judges stand up as well, clapping for me, which made me cry harder.
"Will...that was simply amazing...I mean, I speak for everyone in this room when I say I felt every lyric you sang, every pain you had, every memory...it was there...and you brought me there..." Hedi said, wiping her eyes.
Simon chuckled as he said "I don't think we need to vote...c'mon as an audience let's say it...one...two...three..."
"It's a YES!" The audience cried, causing me to cry even harder than before.
I looked up, to see Connor walking toward me. I hugged him tightly, sobbing into his chest as I said, "Thank You, Connor..."
The audience awed again as Connor hugged me back.
#one chicago#will halstead#jay halstead#connor rhodes#ethan choi#crockett marcel#chicago med#chicago pd#au#fanfic#completed#found/tonight#rhodestead#Spotify
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SHE’S DYING
SEASON TWO, EPISODE TWO ////// PART ONE
Part two
Masterlist
"Come on. Come on," Connor keeps mumbling as he desperately tries to stop the bleeding. His hands are soaked— there's a lot of blood. "Come on." His eyes are filled with tears and panic.
"Oh, god," the panic increases when he realizes that she has been shot in the chest as well as the neck. She is gasping for air, and he knows that she won't make it. "April," it comes out as a whisper. This can't be happening.
/// TWO MONTHS EARLIER ///
Having decided to move on, April is now at her professor’s house. She isn't leaving yet, so the best thing to do is attend the classes— it is better than being locked up in her apartment. "An alibi for the night that their parents were killed or their aunt?" She hears Asher ask when she enters the house. "I'm just trying to keep track. There's so many murders."
"Alleged murders," Annalise corrects him, "and we're only dealing with the aunt today." April enters the room, and the professor is the first to notice her. "Dr. Coleman, how nice of you to join us," she says sarcastically.
"Sorry I'm late," April replies in a low voice as she tries to avoid looking at her Professor. She makes her way to the couch, where she sits down and takes out her laptop.
Annalise watches her before turning to Frank. "Frank, try to get a copy of the sealed warrant." He walks away. "Bonnie, with me. But first," she turns to April, "I need to have a word with Dr. Coleman." April looks up from her laptop.
April follows Annalise out of the house. "You ignored my calls, and now you won't even look at me."
April forcefully moves her gaze to Annalise. "I was busy."
"Too busy to attend class?" April doesn't respond. "Why are you doing this, April? You have so much potential and so much knowledge."
April huffs. "I'm here now, so why does it matter?"
Annalise pauses before responding, "get in my car." Her words cause April to tense, but her professor doesn't notice. "We're having this conversation."
"Talk," Annalise demands.
April is looking out the window, not wanting to look at Annalise. "I don't have anything to say."
Annalise scoffs. "I don't believe you."
"What do you want me to say?" She snaps at her. "I don't know what you want to hear." She finally looks at her— but the image of Sam's dead body keeps appearing in her head.
"I want you to tell me the truth."
"About?"
"What's going on with you?"
April scoffs. "Nothing is going on, professor Keating."
"That's bull."
April exhales as she turns away. "I'm— I— I don't feel like talking about my feelings with you."
"Why not?" Annalise scoffs. "You've done it before."
April hesitates— she is gazing out the window. "It's everything that has happened. I'm just... trying to figure it out".
"Is this about Sam?" April doesn't answer. "You've killed before, so why is Sam different?"
April scoffs at her words and turns to face her. "You think that because I killed my husband, I'd be fine killing Sam?"
Annalise shrugs. "I never questioned it when I heard you were all put together the whole night. That you were calm and collected when everyone else was breaking down. You came up with a plan. You decided to burn the body and chop it into small pieces. Then it hit me... murder doesn't bother you."
"You don't think it bothered me?" April almost growls at Annalise. She scoffs. "I took responsibility that night because I am the one who killed him. I grabbed the trophy, and I hit him," her voice is stern. "You don't think I wanted to break down? You don't think I wanted to leave? I couldn't do any of that because it was my responsibility to protect them and the only way to do that was to come up with my plan. My brain— it's all I have. So, of course, I stayed calm and collected. Someone had to. And now... every time... every time I look at you, I see him," her last words surprise Annalise.
"What?"
"The image of his dead body pops up in my head. I see his eyes staring right back at me. That's why I've been avoiding eye contact." April opens the car door and gets out.
April is back in Annalise's living room— she's sitting on the couch and looking at her laptop screen. "Someone sext you a peen pic?" Connor asks.
April looks up and sees that he's looking at Michaela— who was glancing at her phone. "Uh, I was just looking up what judge is presiding over Nate's hearing," she replies as she sits down next to April.
"Michaela, you are not going to Nate's hearing," Laurel tells her, her voice lowered but stern. She makes her way over to Michaela.
"I never said I was. Okay, I can't be the only one who wants to go."
"I want to go too," April speaks up. "I'm thinking of getting an I killed Sam Keating tattoo on my forehead beforehand, though." Connor grins as Michaela gives her an unimpressed look. "Besides, Annalise would kill us."
"I'd kill you," Laurel adds.
"Why are we killing each other?" Asher enters the room. They all turn to face him.
"Uh, Oliver is HIV-positive," Connor speaks up, confusing April. "And Laurel was just saying that she would kill me if I had sex with him before my prep kicks in." Laurel goes back to her old spot.
"Wait," Asher walks up to Connor. "He has HIV, and you're gonna have sex with him?"
"Yes. Lots of sex."
"Dude, no. Look, I get the O-man probably has a really sweet ass and all, but you could, like, die."
April has a thoughtful look on her face. "Who's Oliver?"
Michaela immediately looks at her. "Where the hell have you been?" April shrugs. "He's Connor's boyfriend." April nods before looking back at her laptop. "Why are you looking up the University of Virginia?" Michaela is glancing at her screen.
The others start listening in to their conversation. "It's a good college."
"You're leaving?" Laurel asks.
April shrugs. "I've been thinking about it."
"You can't leave," Michaela scoffs.
"Why not?" Michaela remains quiet, not knowing how to answer the question. "I haven't made a decision yet. Don't tell professor Keating."
"... don't worry. I won't."
///
April spots Anthony standing outside her door when she gets back to her apartment. "What is it I'm hearing about you leaving?"
April huffs as she nears him. "Who told you that?"
"Michaela called me. She sounded worried."
"Yeah, right," April scoffs. "Michaela and I are not friends, and she wouldn't care if I left."
"Then why did she call me? Can you at least tell me why you're leaving?"
"You know why, Tony. I can't be here anymore. I feel suffocated— all the time."
"Look, I get it. I do, but this is your future. And after everything that has happened, Annalise hasn't kicked you out of her class. She could be the only one willing to give you a chance and... I wouldn't risk it."
"... I haven't made a decision yet, Tony. I'm gonna expose my mom... and then we'll see." April unlocks her apartment.
"You need to be careful, April. You don't want to make the wrong people angry."
"I'll be fine. Bye, Tony."
Tony nods slightly. "Bye." He turns and leaves as April closes the door and locks it.
Her phone rings— seeing it's Tamara that is calling, she answers it. "Hey, what's up?"
"Hey, April. I just visited David."
April grows curious. "And?"
"He won't talk to me. He said that he only wants to see you."
April huffs. "Of course he does," she mumbles. "Do you think that's a good idea?"
"If you want to find out what happened. He's our only lead."
"Then fine," April nods to herself. "I'll be right there." She hangs up.
"It's good to see you, April," David speaks into the phone.
"You too." Her face is blank. The two would speak Spanish because the others didn't understand— and they would gossip.
"You never visited me. Not even once."
"... I need your help."
David smiles a little. "That's what I heard."
"Does the name John Smith ring a bell?" She watches as his expression falters. "I take that as a yes."
"It's just an alias, though."
April leans on the table. "What's his real name?"
"I don't know."
April sighs, annoyed. "What do you know exactly?"
"I know that this is bigger than you think, and you need to be careful."
"I've had many people tell me that, David, but that doesn't help me find out if my mom killed Sheri."
David sighs. "You're right. Look, the guy, John Smith, I think he was murdered a couple of days ago."
"Are you serious?"
David nods. "You need to confront your mother."
"She won't talk, David. What else can I do? Come on— you said that you'd help me. Talk to me."
"... your mother was seeing this guy in Virginia. His name is Henry. He's some white guy. I'm pretty sure they were dating."
"You think he could be involved in this?"
David shrugs. "It's worth looking into."
"Anything else?"
"... I can't tell you everything now, or we won't have anything to talk about the next time we see each other." He grins.
April looks less than impressed. "Fine. I'm leaving now." She hangs up the phone. David gives her a little wave before he's taken away.
///
Bold means the dialogue is in Spanish
#wesgibbins#oliverhampton#ashermillstone#annalisekeating#drama#Demisexual#femalelead#femoc#femlead#familydrama#frankdelfino#howtogetawaywithmurder#htgawm#laurelcastillo#coliver#connorwalsh#violadavis#bisexual#bonniewinterbottom#murder#murdermystery#michaelapratt
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Honesty. Horrible, Horrible Honesty. (Chapter Seven)
Summary: This is Part Eighteen of my series A Herrmann/Halstead Production. It is an AU where Christopher Herrmann's mom had an affair with Pat Halstead resulting in a baby. The series follows this OC character (Rebecca "Bex" Herrmann) as she grows up and gets to know her brothers and the various Chicago teams. It is very much an AU, just to underscore that. It doesn't follow the same timeline and characters will follow different paths.
Click here for the Series Rundown where you can find the links to read all of the previous installments (which I highly recommend you do so that this one makes sense.)
Rating: Teen and Up
Relationships: Christopher Herrmann & Original Female Character, Jay Halstead & Original Female Character, Will Halstead & Original Female Character, Jay Halstead & Will Halstead, pre-Greg 'Mouse' Gerwitz/Original Female Character, Will Halstead/Connor Rhodes, Assorted OC Couples
Warnings: Canon-typical violence (this chapter opens with a continuation of the scene Chapter Six ended on. There is violence from Ty directed at two characters.), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Mild Injury, Swearing, Characters Working Through Trauma, Repairing Relationships, Fluff, I Swear There are Funny Bits Along with the Emotional Bits
A/N: Am I done my work? NO! Did I need a break? YES! Here is a new chapter for you. Not a ton happens, but at least you know everyone's okay. :D Not sure when the next update will be - might take a few weeks again, but then we should be back up and running.
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Bex
Every evasive measure and self-defense move Jay had ever taught Bex was pushed out of her brain by one overwhelmingly terrifying thought:
Emery.
He was here for Emery.
To take her.
To hurt her.
“You’re done keeping her from me.” Ty snarled as he held Bex in a bruising grip, slowly crushing the air out of her lungs. “Give me your keys. Now.”
Panic began to crawl up her throat as she struggled to take a breath through her nose, tried to get any kind of air, tried to think.
Ty gave her a tooth-rattling shake. “I said now!” he yelled.
She let out a muffled scream against his hand and he yanked her head to the side painfully. “What did I say about making a sound? Hm? You’re making this harder on yourself. Give me. The fucking. Keys.”
Bex kept an iron grip on the keys in her hand and thrashed in his arms, trying to break away.
If she could do that, she could run.
Whipping her head back as hard as she could, Bex felt the thunk when she made contact with Ty’s face.
He groaned and she was able to yank herself free from his loosened grasp, but only made it two steps before he snagged her arm and was hauling her back.
“You fucking bitch!” Ty threw her against the car with one hand as the other cupped his bleeding nose.
Bex dropped her bag at the force of the impact, breath knocked right out of her, but she still had the keys. She was thinking about tossing them somewhere when he grabbed the front of her shirt and slammed her back once more.
“Now I’m gonna—”
A dark blur came flying through the air and tackled Ty to the ground.
What the—
Bex staggered, managing to keep her feet after being released so suddenly and tried to focus on the flailing limbs on the ground.
Jay.
He must have followed her home.
And now he was grappling with Ty on the pavement, looking absolutely furious. He had the upper hand at the moment, but Ty was getting his own hits in and she didn’t know how long Jay’s skills could hold out against Ty’s bigger build.
She needed to help him.
Phone.
Where the fuck was her phone?
Finally spotting her bag a few feet away, Bex scrambled over, dropping to her knees to dig through it until she found her phone. Ignoring the sounds of the fight and more squealing tires and slamming doors in the background, she unlocked it with shaking fingers to call 911.
“911, what is your emergency?”
She rattled off her address, the situation, and the fact that an off-duty police officer was involved, hanging up when the operator confirmed that help was on the way.
That was great, but Jay needed help right now.
“Bex!”
A sob of relief ripped its way out of her when Chris, Will, and Connor came running into view.
“I’m okay. But Jay—help Jay,” she said, pointing at the still fighting pair. “It’s Ty. He—he tried to get my keys so he could—and he—”
“Hey,” Chris crouched down beside her as Will and Connor rushed over to help Jay. “Breathe, sweetie. I’m here. I’ve got you.”
It wasn’t until he wrapped his arms around her that she realized how much she was shaking.
***
Jay
“Jay. Jay!” Will yelled as he shoved him back. “You’ve gotta stop, man. Come on.”
“He was hurting Bex,” Jay snapped, trying to dive past Will so he could keep punching the smirk off of that asshole’s face.
“I know,” Will said, gentling his voice as he grabbed Jay’s shoulder and made him keep eye contact. “I know. And you protected her. You stopped him. But now you’ve got to stop or these cops pulling up are going to have to arrest you too.”
He huffed out a breath, knowing Will was right, but not able to quiet the fucking rage bubbling under his skin.
“Hey, we’ve got this.” Will nodded at the asshole who was held tight between Connor and Will despite his continued struggles. “The ambo’s here now too. You should get checked out.”
“I’m fine.” Jay shrugged off his concern. He’d been in enough fights to know when something was actually wrong. He was bruised to hell, but he’d live. “Bex.” The image of his sister being slammed against the car came rushing back to him. “Is she okay? They should look her over.”
Jay didn’t wait for Will’s answer, needing to see her for himself.
He spotted Chris leading Bex over to the ambulance with an arm around her shoulder and rushed over to them. “Bex!”
Her head whipped up at his voice. “Jay!”
“Are you okay? Did he hurt you?” He reached out to check her over, trying to be careful in case she was hurt, but not seeing anything obvious.
“Me? What are you—I’m fine, but you’re bleeding,” she said, touching his chin gently as she tilted his face and took inventory of every cut and bruise with worried eyes. “You need to let them take a look at you. You could be seriously—”
“I will,” he cut her off with a promise, not willing to put up a fuss when she looked so scared. And he would. But that wasn’t what he needed right now. “First, can I just—”
Bex’s frown melted away, understanding immediately what he was getting at. “Yeah, Jay, jesus,” she said, stepping toward him and letting him wrap his arms around her while she carefully did the same. He squeezed her tight despite his screaming ribs.
“That was really scary,” she whispered as she tucked her face into his shoulder.
“They’ve got him now,” he murmured, resting his head on top of hers. “This’ll be enough to put him away for a bit.”
The two of them stood there for a bit, reassuring themselves of the other’s presence.
“I’m sorry, Bex,” Jay whispered. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
She nodded against him before stepping back and wiping her eyes with a sniff. “You should let them check you out now. Make sure everything’s okay.” She took another step back before he could say anything and the paramedics swooped in—one of them leading him over to the ambulance while the other started asking Bex questions.
He could feel the space widening between them once again. Jay kept trying to get back to her, but everything was too chaotic.
The police officers on the scene took Ty off to be checked out at the hospital as soon as two other sets of officers arrived.
Jay and Bex were given the all clear by the paramedics (they may have suggested taking Jay to the hospital to be more thoroughly checked out which he may have thoroughly rejected).
Then they were separated to give their individual statements to the officers.
Chris, Connor, and Will were interviewed as well.
Pictures were taken of the scene.
Jay was glad they were being so strict about procedure—making sure his own butt was covered—but exhaustion was creeping in. A bone-deep kind of tired.
“Do you need us for the rest of this?” he asked the lead officer on the scene. McKinley? McKechnie? McSomething.
“No, we can get you to sign off on your statement tomorrow and take photos of your injuries then,” she said. “You can all head home.”
Great. He fought off the urge to sigh and thanked her instead, walking off to let the others know they were free to go.
Will, Connor, Chris, and Bex were huddled around her car. Bex tucked into Chris’s side while Will rubbed her arm gently, speaking quietly.
“Hey, man,” Connor nodded at him, first to notice his approach.
“Hey,” Jay cleared his throat as the others looked up. “They said we can all go. They don’t need us for anything else right now.”
“Oh, thank god,” Bex sighed, sagging against Chris. “I need to pass out—in a normal, this day has been too fucking much kind of way,” she said, pointing a finger at Connor and Will who both looked two seconds away from examining her again. “Not in a ‘hidden head injury’ kind of way. Relax.”
“Fair enough,” Will said. “Let’s get you inside.”
“Bex,” Jay held out a hand. “Wait. Please.”
He couldn’t end the night like this.
He just couldn’t.
***
Chris
Bex was right.
This day and night had been too fucking much and it didn’t look like it was going to be over any time soon. As soon as Jay asked her to wait, Chris felt Bex stiffen at his side.
Things had been so much easier when he could put them both on time outs.
Not that either of them had been great at following those even back then.
“I just—I know you’re mad,” Jay began and Bex let out a sigh, pushing away from Chris to stand in front of him.
“I’m not mad,” she said to Jay. “I don’t have it in me to be mad anymore.” Bex pressed the palms of her hands into her eyes and shook her head before looking up again.
Whatever look was on her face had Jay’s falling.
Chris moved closer. They might be adults and they might need to talk this out on their own, but he could still be ready to step in if he needed to.
“I’m sad, Jay,” she said, voice breaking. “I’m so fucking sad and part of that is because of you.”
Jay made a small pained noise at that.
“I know,” Bex nodded. “I know there’s reasons and things you need to talk about, but—it hurts. It hurts and I’m sad and the worst part is—I never thought that you would be the reason for me to feel like this. I don’t—I don’t really know what to do with that.”
“I’m so sorry, Bex,” he whispered.
“I know,” she said again with a sigh, stepping closer to cup his face in one hand. Jay leaned down, gently touching his forehead against hers. “I love you, okay? Nothing is ever going to change that.” She stepped back with a sniff, wiping at her tears. “But right now, I need to go upstairs and you need to go home. We will talk, but it can’t be tonight.”
Jay looked like he was going to protest before he gathered himself and took a steady breath. “Okay,” he said. “Okay, I’ll wait until I hear from you.”
And now Chris was stuck because he didn’t want to leave Bex alone, but like hell was he letting Jay go home by himself either. He needed two of himself, but—oh, hang on.
There kind of was.
He looked up at Will who was already looking over at him. Chris nodded subtly at Bex and raised an eyebrow at Will who gave him an equally subtle nod back.
“Yeah, yeah, big brothers divide and conquer time,” Bex muttered, pulling Chris in for a hug. “Will and Connor will take care of me,” she said. “Please look after Jay. He definitely needs to talk and he’s already leaving. Love you.”
Oh, crap. “Love you too, kiddo,” Chris said, squeezing her back. “Talk soon.” He clapped a hand on Will’s shoulder and nodded at Connor before hurrying after Jay. “Hey, wait up, bud!”
His long night definitely wasn’t over yet.
***
Will
Holy crap, what a night.
At least it was done.
Well, almost.
Chris had managed to call Emery from Bex’s phone earlier and give her a head’s up about what was going on and convinced her not to come downstairs. If the police needed to talk to her, it could wait until tomorrow (or technically, later today, but whatever.) In any case, she didn’t need to see any of it and she definitely didn’t need to see Ty.
But now they were headed up to the apartment where she was waiting for actual information and none of them were getting to sleep any time soon.
Will couldn’t help glancing over at Connor a few times as they herded Bex upstairs, trying to gauge how he was feeling about all of this. It was a lot for anyone to deal with and considering they’d barely started dating…
Connor caught him looking and reached out to grab his hand, giving it a little squeeze and shooting him a small smile. He raised his eyebrows at Will, mouthing ‘you okay?’
Will nodded, smiling back.
Even if it was a lot, he was glad Connor was here. That was probably selfish of him, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. Every step felt more manageable than the last with Connor by his side. Holding his hand.
Hopefully this debrief could be quick and both Bex and Emery would head to bed sooner rather than later.
He needed to kiss his amazing boyfriend.
Emery was sitting on the couch, clutching Kol as she waited, and she burst into tears as soon as they came in. She rushed over to Bex, stumbling over her words, trying to apologize.
Bex grabbed her up in a hug, shushing her. “None of this is your fault,” she said. “We put it on Ty where it belongs.” She steered Emery toward the couch where they sat back down.
The three of them were able to fill Emery in on what had happened without getting too intensely detailed. Bex distracted her when she started to get upset again by re-enacting the whole AJ scene for her.
Will had almost forgotten about that part of the evening.
He was proud of Bex for how she’d handled the whole thing (the re-enactment was fairly entertaining), but his heart hurt for her having to handle it at all.
The universe had thrown way too much at her lately.
After reassuring Emery once again that everyone was okay, she stumbled off to bed in Bex’s room and the three of them headed for the kitchen.
There was an unspoken agreement on the need for snacks.
Will started pulling out sandwich supplies from the fridge when Bex reached over him to pull a bottle of vodka out of the freezer.
“Bex,” he frowned up at her. “Is that a good idea? You’ve been going kind of hard on the drinking lately.”
“I’m not drinking drinking,” she said, plucking three shot glasses out of a cupboard. “But I thought we could all use a shot.”
Connor shot him an apologetic look. “She’s not wrong,” he sighed.
“Fine,” Will caved because she wasn’t. “But I’m doing the pouring.” He straightened up and took the bottle from Bex to pour a reasonable shot for each of them before putting it right back in the freezer. She wasn’t wrong, but he also didn’t want to leave room things to get out of hand.
Again.
They did their shots without fanfare and then Will got back to his sandwich making while Connor poured everyone a glass of water. Bex wandered off to sit at the kitchen table.
She was still sitting there, staring off into space when he and Connor joined her.
“Hey,” Will said, setting down a sandwich in front of her. “You okay?”
Bex startled a bit before smiling up at him and then taking in the sandwich. “Yeah, I’m fine,” she said, waving him off. “This looks more than fine though, wow, thank you.”
“Eat up,” Connor said, nudging one of the glasses in her direction. “And drink all of this. It’ll help settle your system.”
They ate quietly for a few minutes before Will tried again. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Bex blinked owlishly at him. “…which part?”
Connor snorted which set Will and Bex off and soon all three of them were giggling helplessly in their chairs.
It wasn’t funny.
It shouldn’t be funny.
But—
“There’s too many things!” Bex wheezed out.
“I could actually go for another AJ re-enactment, if you want to start there,” Connor suggested between giggles.
“Oh, my god, shut up.” Bex threw a piece of crust at his face with a pout.
“You really yelled to the whole street that you’re good at sex?” Will laughed only to also be smacked in the face with a piece of bread.
“It was directed at AJ! It was the principle of the thing,” she grumbled. “I knew I should have edited that bit out of the story.”
“Nooo,” Connor said. “You have to keep that in forever.”
Bex’s frown gave way to another grin. “You should have seen Chris’s face.” Her imitation set them off on another round of giggles before they finally managed to quiet down.
“Seriously, Bex,” Will said, bumping his knee against hers. “It has been a lot so I’m here to talk, okay? Anytime.”
“Thanks, Will,” Bex said, her smile just a bit wobbly.
“Me too,” Connor piped up, shrugging when they both looked at him. “Sometimes it’s easier, you know? Talking to someone who’s a bit removed from things.”
“That is so sweet,” Bex said. “…that you think you’re removed from things.”
“I just meant—”
She shook her head, cutting off Connor’s attempted explanation. “You’re in it now, bud. One of us. One of us.”
Will leaned over to kiss his cheek. “Sorry,” he whispered. “It’s not too late to make a run for it.”
“I think I’m good,” Connor said, moving in for another kiss.
“That’s enough adorableness for me,” Bex said, gathering up her plate and taking it to the sink. “I’m going to take a shower and then pass the hell out.” She came back to give first Will and then a slightly surprised Connor a hug and a smooch on the top of their heads.
“Thanks for being there tonight, guys,” she said. “Love you.”
She wandered off toward the bathroom, leaving the two of them at the table. Connor looked a little bit stunned and Will reached out to give his hand a squeeze.
“Still good?”
Connor met his gaze. “Yeah,” he said, pulling their joined hands closer to kiss Will’s knuckles. “More than.”
Will felt his face heating up and ducked his head. “Good, that’s uh, that’s good,” he said, ignoring Connor’s chuckle. “I’m going to get this stuff cleaned up. Yeah. Yup. Okay.”
He jumped up and started clearing the rest of the dishes and Connor joined him, the two of them working in sync to put the kitchen back to rights.
Then they flopped on the couch, Kol hopping up right after to snuggle in between them for pets.
It was quiet.
It was comfortable.
It was exactly what Will needed.
Almost exactly.
“Hey,” Will said softly and Connor looked over with a questioning hum. “Do you—” Will took a breath and started again. “Do you want to stay over?”
Connor’s eyebrows flew up.
“Not like that,” Will said quickly. “I just—after today, after all of that—I want you closer for a bit longer. If that’s okay? Is that—”
“Yes, Will,” Connor said, snuggling in closer to lean against him. “I’d love to stay over.”
“Oh,” Will said, biting his lip against the grin trying to spread across his face. “Good. That’s—that’s great.”
“It is.” Connor reached over, pulling Will closer so he could capture his lips with his own.
Okay.
Will sank into Connor’s embrace.
Now he had exactly what he needed.
***
Bex
Bex could hear Will and Connor talking softly on the couch as she hustled from the bathroom back to her bedroom.
Despite how intense everything else was lately, at least those two had figured themselves out. And were moving rapidly from figuring themselves out to being disgustingly cute.
Maybe she could live vicariously through Will’s happiness for now.
She couldn’t see her figuring out her own shit anytime soon.
Bex towel-dried her hair to ‘good enough’ and threw on some sleep clothes before crawling into bed beside a conked out Emery. It was good to see her sleeping so soundly. Bex was worried she’d walk in to find her still awake and fretting, but exhaustion must have won out.
Unfortunately, after lying there for an hour, Bex was not turning out to be so lucky.
Her brain just kept shuffling through scenes from the evening like the world’s worst slide show.
She couldn’t make it stop.
Tears filled her eyes and she blinked them back forcefully before taking a slow, deep breath. All she had to do was relax and be calm. She could do that.
A sob broke free before she smothered the rest with both hands.
Relax and be calm.
Come on.
Relax and be calm.
What else could she do? Wake up Emery who had all of her Ty trauma to deal with? Go and bug Will and Connor who had already been through the wringer tonight and had to work tomorrow?
Call Chris who was trying to help Jay?
Call Jay who was going through his own shit?
Call Mouse?
No, she could do this on her own.
Relax.
Fucking relax, Bex.
A light scratch at the door made her jump before she heard the quiet ‘boof’ that followed. She eased her way out of bed and tip-toed over to open the door. Kol pushed his way inside.
He stared up at her with big, judgmental eyes.
“I was dealing with it,” she whispered.
He head-butted her legs.
“I was working on dealing with it,” she amended, closing her door.
Kol huffed out a little sigh before stretching his head up to gently take the hem of her t-shirt in his mouth and tug her back toward the bed. She climbed in and he hopped up to wiggle his way in between her and Emery.
Once she was settled, Kol shuffled around until his head was resting on her stomach. Bex reached out to pet him and he snuggled in deeper.
“Relax and be calm,” she whispered.
Kol answered with a tiny grumble.
No more talking.
Message received.
With the added weight of Kol beside her, her brain finally started to slow and Bex fell asleep.
Click here to read Chapter Eight.
Click here to read Chapter Nine.
Click here to read Chapter Ten.
Click here to read Chapter Eleven.
Click here to read Honesty. Horrible, Horrible Honesty on ao3:
And here is the tag list (let me know if you wish to be added or removed):
@sorry-i-spaced, @iunnowatuwant, @thegirlwhowishedeveryonelived, @ivyalmighty, @thewannabewriter, @lexhalstead3, @multifandomgrl08, @foxes-and-cats, @sensitivemallysix, @thebewingedjewelcat
#A Herrmann/Halstead Production#one chicago#chicago fire#chicago pd#chicago med#jay halstead#will halstead#christopher herrmann#oc character#rebecca 'bex' herrmann#a herrmann/halstead production#alternate universe#not canon#not beta read#angst#emotional hurt/comfort#working through emotional trauma#repairing relationships#fluff#family feels#canon typical violence
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