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#but legit it kinda works for some reason
ms-scarletwings · 4 months
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Other people dragging themselves out of an impending spiral:
- meditation
- positive affirmations
- deep breathing exercises
- gratitude listing
Me pulling myself out of an impending spiral:
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adozentothedawn · 3 months
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Six Sentence Someday
Tagged by @orime-stories thank you!
Despite what it looks like, I am in fact ocasionally still writing, I just tend to word vomit about my current obsession and then never finish it.^^° So yeah, my last game that I finished was Fire Emblem Fates: Conquest and it made me go insane, so have a part of my 1k monologue that I wrote for a potential time travel fix it. It is only 5 sentences because 6 would have been awkward, but if I ever get to it again you'll get a lot more.
"They ordered me to kill you but I couldn't do it. I would have ruined everything because I looked at you and remembered cherry blossoms and warm nights. I remembered off key lullabies and larger hands than mine on my back. I couldn't do it. And I think when you looked at me you knew that."
Gonna tag @adraveins and @stylishanachronism if you have anything you'd like to share.^^
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freakylilnutjob · 1 year
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idk what spirit or entity possessed me to wake up at 4:30am, immediately open the band camino app, and then go to the store tab, but THANK FUCK it did because I just ordered two shirts that they haven’t had in the shop since before I became a fan and a fucking autographed copy of tryhard
WHAT
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Yeah like what’s the point of even having anon features if they can’t use your website?????? Like on certain blogs I can’t even view them without being blocked????? I don’t understand????
And I can’t talk to people if they don’t have a submission box which is awkward because not many people have a submission box that I can see! -🌟
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well the blog thing is most likely that some people have set it to not be visible outside the tumblr dashboard; some people just don’t want their blog viewable to anyone outside of tumblr and there’s a number of reasons why that could be, it’s their own personal decision
the submission/ask box thing can sometimes be a case i know of new users forgetting to turn it on, but sometimes too its deliberately turned off (or limited, like anons being turned off and only other users can ask qs) for, again, a number of different reasons (︶︿︶)
#submission#i forgot to answer this one sorry#the askbox being disabled entirely now if you dont have an acc is so so shitty tho ugh#also cause in general asks are the more popular thing i dont really know too many people who even remember the submission box exists#maybe ive been here too long. idk not that long but even before having an acc i was familiar w/ how the site worked and memes and such#i def get the frustration but there are valid reasons why some people limit who can contact them/view their stuff#that also being said though it is really shitty that modern internetscape basically forces you to make accs you might never use just to#view things or save images or whatever. in some cases i definitely do get why they do that#but like for newspaper sites lets say thats really fcking annoying. can i not know wtf is happening without paying up so much bruh#this is also a random nitpick but i HATE the new tumblr.com/(blogname) compared to the old (blogname).tumblr.com#ik new users might have no idea that you are able to turn that off and get ur own custom domain. but like its so annoying how this is forced#they butchered the link sharing stuff too its fucking hell if i wanna send tumblr links on mobile now. so annoying ugh#if anything age of website managements fcking shit up when it was fine before and legit nobody asked for change. its just like that sometime#sorry for randomly ranting and kinda negative vibes??? ill get to the playlist thing later again sorry its taking a while 😭#ollie the star anon
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I guess maybe cause we have a lot of the same issues & he was around recently before I started fronting, but I think about Loki a lot sometimes, n how drastically he changed during the time he was co-host.
How desperate for connection n approval he is, when like me he's also just. On a different wavelength than most people around us. Never could figure out the problem but he used to be so much more likely than the rest of us to try n take interest in other people's interests, to go out of his way to do things for em, but somehow just mostly got it wrong n was met with criticism instead. Or ignored, but that's also what happened when he (at least as far as we could tell) got it right. I'd get it if it caused more work for the people instead of being helpful, but it was always useless at worst?
Like idk maybe him pointing out the things came off as him...expecting praise for some very basic or low effort things he did or something? But it was never about that, he just wanted to be seen. He was just as if not more content seeing people even a little bit happy about it than he was being thanked. He just wanted the connection.
He burnt out n stopped trying pretty fast. He doesn't do things for others anymore. He might, if he's directly asked to n given enough info that he trusts he won't fuck it up somehow, but it goes to the absolute bottom of his priorities. He doesn't try to strike up conversation, definitely not about things he's not into but the other person at least was at some point. Just...doesn't try to connect. His life's on a parallel line to anyone else's n sometimes there might be a brief, coincidental overlap but it doesn't mean much anymore.
I more or less started out from that point. Maybe that's partially where this constant fucking feeling of isolation came from. I don't like being asked to do anything. I'm hyperaware of being ignored n what kinda topics that happens with. I face everything n everyone with the assumption they don't care about anythin I have to say unless it's in (the right kinda) response to what they're saying, though even then I need to learn to cut it off at one or two sentences. It's supposed to be a reply, not a conversation. That when people speak to me they want to talk to me, not with me. Acknowledge it to show you're listening n invested but don't take up time. Which...funnily enough is exactly what Val's always told me. I kinda hate how my ADHD tendency to ramble still gets out of hand all the damn time n I only catch it when it's too late, n how my natural way of processing things is by talkin about em.
I mean. I'm assuming there's gotta be somethin that I'm reading wrong in the situations. Somethin that makes what I say or do weird n I guess off-putting. It's not a new problem, it's (part of) why we never had that many friends n when we did they usually got sick of us after a couple of years. But no one will tell us what it is n after over 20 years of tryin to crack it we're just fucking tired. I know it's some kinda personality disorder + neurotype + trauma combo but it just doesn't feel worth it try anymore when it takes so fucking much energy to try n get it right just for the Russian roulette of havin either a genuine interaction or a new step in my downward spiral. I just got no way to know which one it's gonna be til it happens n a lot of the time I end up wishing I didn't take the risk. I'm too fucking fragile for it.
#with the exception of the partner system. in loki's case especially B in my case especially herald#like i know the feeling of disconnect n being somehow Inherently Different than everyone else is a trauma symptom#especially common with like. childhood emotional neglect#so it's probably not entirely reality based at this point#but for whatever reason it's like....sometime around the time cloud or loki started fronting it started gettin worse n worse#i know it's a schema or some shit but it's. constantly getting reaffirmed instead of us working through it#& i know it's somethin we should talk about in therapy more in depth but whenever we try we choke up so bad we can't make a sound#especially cause anytime we try to talk about it to anyone else than the bf we're pretty much told our perception must be wrong somehow#n it's not like i'm tryin to put blame on anyone or say it's some kinda intentional conspiracy against us?#the only common denominator is us so why would we try to pin it on someone else?#& if our perception is really that off then i mean that'd be the answer. there's something so severely wrong with our brain that we both#repeatedly don't see or hear it when we're being responded to and hallucinate people talkin when they actually don't#which i'm pretty sure would mean we need to be on antipsychotics like asap#this btw is an open invitation to let us know if we are legit reacting to interactions no one else can see or hear#cause the most i'm aware of is the way i sometimes ask people if they said somethin cause i thought i heard someone talk#n that's very much not it. but idk. it's kinda hellish to be an extrovert in a brain that's broken in this specific way.#spdrvent
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titleknown · 22 days
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While I really hate the narrative of "tech bros" because of how it conflates shitty CEOs with non-shitty base-level programmers, and how it conflates Dunning-Kruger-y early adopters with people who Know Their Shit about computers...
...On the AI art issue, I will say, there is probably a legit a culture clash between people who primarily specialize in programming and people who primarily specialize in art.
Because, like, while in the experience of modern working illustrators a free commons has ended up representing a Hobbseyan experience of "a war of all against all" that's a constant threat to making a living, in software from what I can tell it's kinda been the reverse.
IE, freedom of access to shared code/information has kinda been seen as A Vital Thing wrt people's abilities to do their job at a core level. So, naturally, there's going to be some very different reactions to the morality of scraped data online.
And, it's probably the same reason that a lot of the creative commons movement came from the free software movement.
And while I agree a lot with the core principles of these movements, it's also probably unfortunately why they so often come off as tone-deaf and haven't really made that proper breakthrough wrt fighting against copyright bloat.
It also really doesn't help that, in terms of treatment by capital, for most of our lives programmers have been Mother's Special Little Boy whereas artists (especially online independent artists post '08 crash) have been treated as The Ratboy We Keep In The Basement And Throw Scraps To.
So, it make sense the latter would have resentment wrt the former...
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inazuma-fulgur · 1 year
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I like the scent of people but I hate the scent of sex
Like all participants can have showered until just five minutes before, done a deep clean doesn't matter
""Not all odors are bad," Sherry Ross, MD, an OB-GYN" yeah but what if I don't like them
Kids [endearing, joking] it's time to learn about your body and stis
Here's the source for the quote:
#legit smell might be my no 1 reason to never have sex again#i mean there are other issues that make me very much not fond of the idea that are more pressing#being ace and telling ppl because it's relevant in regards to boundaries has unfortunate effects. usually it's confusion (annoying#because then I have to answer questions or leave) and sometimes straight disinterest. which honestly is fine.#desinterest is definitely the best result#sometimes people don't get it but just accept it but that's honestly almost worse than the annoying questions because someone is avoiding#the topic instead of choosing to broaden their horizon. sure some people do their research privately but you can't do research about me#at least not about my sexuality. you can do quite some online searches about me lmao#and the third common reaction is fetishization. were people either assume I'm some innocent pure fantasy being and make up shit about me#(or about ace people in general) and if there ever is just one thing not framed well or perfectly nuanced that's a wild card for folks to#believe whatever they prefer to have heard and then if you correct anything there's more confusion and pain#because everything I say or say about myself turns into a fact fact. about everyone which is just not how it works#and the other form of fetishization (in my experience by allo cis women who have not made any experiences not getting fetishized by men#(and also misread me as a man. people's education about trans people is miserable. to a lot of cis people seemingly being non binary is an#on top label and still has you qualify as a man or woman underneath that. as if calling yourself non binary was like a lesbian calling#themselves butch. which obviously isn't an accurate comparison even if nb women and men exist.)#and with those types there comes a fetishization of being seen as respectful and not predatory which then makes you more sexually appealing#which idk kinda makes sense if you're dealing with a sexually active person that is interested in you as well#it does not make sense purely on the terms of you being attracted to someone who mentioned being ace to you. it is not about you. whether#said ace person is sexually active or not
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Can I get more horndog Nikto pls? Like Nikto legit wanting the reader every way emotionally and physically, becoming territorial of them, and the reader doesn't take him seriously because they don't wanna be another conquest. Sad horny boi lol
HORNDOG!NIKTO FOR MY NIKTO GIRLS.
- He is jealous, it’s pretty much in his Slavic dna to be, so once you show him a bit of affection without strings attached, he gets territorial. Nikto does a lot of questionable things to ensure the recruits know you’re off limits. From standing really close to you no matter what you’re doing at that moment, to literally pressing himself against your body like a horny dog. The creepiest thing he’s done was probably standing in a corner, intensively watching you read from afar. Recruits would get scared about coming to you for advice because he was there, awkwardly staring and they would get chills (he’s just so silly!).
- The first time Nikto got to know your sweet side was when you made biscuits for the barracks and decided to bring some to him too. He was not the type to hang around the base, so having such sweet little thing like you come and knock on his door with a bag of biscuits was very surprising and suspecting on his side. He found you hot, there was no denying, so having many other instances where you would do something for him without asking anything in exchange was starting to grow onto him. You always brushed it off, how possessive he began to be about you, thinking he was just an awkward adult that didn’t get to learn proper socialization, and well part of that was true. You kept brushing his affections off, he was like that and nothing could change him. You knew he liked women, too much for your own good, and part of you did not want to end up as another conquest.
- Many times he grew frustrated of you, because no matter how many signs he gave, you always seemed to not understand, or maybe not care at all. He would touch you, press himself into you, sweet talk to you, yet all you would do is pat his head and crack a joke, continuing with your duties and leaving him there, by himself, contemplating weather he should just give up and leave you be. And truth is he was close to leave you be many times.
- What he didn’t know was that you kinda felt the same, you always found in Nikto a safe place, from the instance you joined KorTac he was always there, sure he was as hard as a rock at the beginning, but you made your way into the small remains of his cold, broken heart. It started strangely, you’ve seen him alone once, back laid on the side of a small balcony, while his gaze was lost into nothingness. It hit you, how he was never around, he was never with the boys, never made attempts to make friends, and part of you knew he was afraid, afraid of scaring anyone. Truth is recruits always feared him, even if he never gave them a reason to. The only person he would get along with was König, and occasionally you’d see him in Horangi’s or Kreuger’s company. His mask was most of the times on, and you started to pity him. Such a poor, lonely man. God knows the last time he felt the warm touch of a woman, and not the touch you feel when the only thing you do is fuck, because he did not lack intercourse in his life, but the loving touch of a woman genuinely caring about him? That’s a whole different story.
- You started small, afraid of coming off too clingy. You brought him biscuits, you always made sure to carry a bottle of water at practice, knowing he would always drink a lot and would remain without one lot of times. You’d pass him your bottle and he’d thank you, almost shyly if you squint. You’d bring his clothes to his room from the drier, your excuse being that you were already there so why not, you’d cook for him sometimes too, well not really, it was just that you accidentally poured too much of this or too much of that and being alone on the base you didn’t want it to go to waste, excuses on excuses that were always working. You always thought he was a bit too silly to understand what you were actually doing, and you were right. He just thought you were constantly friend zoning him.
- It was difficult once he actually accepted what you were giving to him and he wanted more. Ignoring him when he got too needy, when he was too close, when he made advances and all you could do was joke or excuse yourself to another room. Truth is you were scared too because what has started as a small act of kindness towards a lonely teammate, became a lot more, and you didn’t know how to handle it.
- One particular night brought out all the hidden emotions. Coming from a mission was always the best time of the year, week, month, it was just the best time, not only because you were alive, but because you could finally rest and turn your brain off. Well for Nikto it was a yes no situation, he was happy to be alive but coming at the base where he would be ‘confined’ again due to his loneliness, was not something he was dreadful about. This time was just too much, and after what felt like hours of contemplation he just went for it. A soft knock on your door late into the night awakened you, not that you were particularly deep into sleep, since the arrival time from the mission was not long ago, but it woke you up, and you opened, for some reason finding yourself in front of who you actually expected to come. Nikto stayed still, admiring you for a bit, just for you to grab his hand and pull him into the room. You didn’t care anymore, after almost loosing him this many times of the battlefield the only thing you wanted to do was hug him. And you did, he dreamed about this moment for months, and it came so unexpected yet so sweet. The night was spent between kisses and hugs, late talks between two people that were too afraid to fall asleep because of the fear of this all being a dream.
- Actually labeling your relationship with Nikto changes many dynamics. He gets bolder definitely, he’s more secure and shows off more. Being in a relationship with him is giving him access to your privacy also, and he makes sure he takes advantage of it. He shamelessly ravages your panty drawer, sneaks up on you in the common showers, after gym becomes a gig where you’re trying to run and shower and he’s after you saying how hot you look right now and how you should let him bring you to his room first. Sex is something utterly surprising for you, you would’ve not given him half the credits he actually deserved, because he does know how to please you, and he’s avid with it. He’ll be a dog for you, waiting and begging and pleading until you give it to him.
- Ride his face he LOVES it, just use him as your personal seat and he’s cumming in his pants no lie. He’s a sucker for your pleasure, also a big voyeur, he tried to fuck you many times in the main hall, or in the showers, he once succeeded in the kitchen, and oh boy you could not look into the eyes of some of your female colleagues for a week straight. Nikto is always eager to try something new, that’s because he finally has you, his woman, and prefers to do with you all the things he never got to experience. He always told himself that he’d prefer waiting to do certain things only with the woman of his dreams, and there you were finally, ready to let him fuck you up, or the other way around.
- When I call Nikto a dog is because I mean it. The utter loyalty this man has for you is something straight out some romance movie. You’ll start to notice how his eyes are always on you, no matter the surroundings, no matter the circumstances, and the utterly look of an enamored man he gives you always succeeds to make you weak in the knees. He is avid, lustful, borderline possessive about you, like a feral dog that’s protecting the only thing that he ever got to call ‘his’. And don’t get off the birth control, because he brings to the bedroom each and every ounce of possessiveness he shows outside.
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amazingmaeve · 1 year
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PERFECT FAMILY
homelander x fem!reader (+ryan)
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summary — Homelander wants to find the perfect mother for ryan since the incident with becca happened. just someone to take of ryan when he’s out or when he’s working. just a maternal for ryan. maybe someone to comfort him as well and that’s where he finds you.
warnings — dark fic, Homelander being a warning in itself, stalking, kidnapping, kinda Stockholm (it’s dark), violence, blood, angst, a bit of fluff
word count —
authors note — I legit just had this idea when I was reading @noforkingclue s fic. so go read that one because it’s amazing
homelander masterlist | the boys masterlist
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“Now I know Ryan, no one can replace your mom, your mom is your mom,” Homelander stated as looked down at his son who stood next to him. “But I need someone, maternal, to take care of you when I’m away, even for your stability and mine,” He says as Ryan looked somewhat hopeful. “Now if you don’t want me to find you a new mom I won’t it’s your choice son,” He says putting his hand on his shoulder.
Ryan looked down thinking about it, he loved his mom, more than anything and she was gone, because of him. But if he could have someone who could love him at least half the way she did he would love that. Someone to just care for him like a mother can.
It could be a second chance for him. Even if he knew she wasn’t his real mom, she could love him like one. Treat him like one and he wanted that choice, someone other than Homelander to be a parent.
“Now what do you think buddy,” Homelander questions after a few minutes of silence.
“I’d like that a lot actually.”
“Me too buddy.”
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“I’ve been hired by the Homelander to teach his son,” You question with a bewildered expression on your face. You stared at the woman sitting in front of you.
Yes you were a teacher but the kids you usually taught went to the school you were in at this moment. But no one could really blame your shock, you were just a normal teacher at a normal school who taught normal kids. This was on a whole different playing field.
Of course you’ve heard about Homelanders son, everyone on planet earth has probably heard about him. Ryan was his name you learned. Of course you felt a great deal of sadness for the young boy, it seemed like he didn’t have a mother and his father was a little on the crazy side from what you’ve heard. But could you really handle this?
This boy was the strongest kid in the world, and his dad was the strongest man in the world.
Anyone would be nervous to even think about accepting this offer. You were leaning more on the yes side, due to the fact that they were going to pay you a lot of money and since a teachers salary wasn’t much you didn’t really have a choice.
But some other reason inside you felt bad for Ryan, you wanted to help every kid that needed it, even if he was the strongest supe kid. You were also kind of afraid to say no to Homelander, you’ve read stories about what happened to people who said no to him and it made something burn inside of your stomach and your whole body tense up in fear.
“So what do you say, Miss. Y/L/N,” The woman in front of you asked as you looked around at the class from.
“I’ll take it,” You accepted tentatively.
And before you even knew it you signed your life away that moment and you probably could not do anything to reverse it in any way.
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Today was your first day to teach Ryan and your first day actually meeting him in fact. You hadn’t even met Homelander who was his father, it seemed like if you were going to teach his son he would’ve at least wanted to call you.
But nope. Nothing. Not even an email.
You shook off those worries and just tried to put a smile on. You didn’t want to worry Ryan and wanted to help him and his journey on learning
Taking a look at yourself in the mirror you put your hair in a ponytail before shaking your hair and pulling the hair tie out and shaking your head and running your fingers through your hair trying to sort it out. You decided that having your hair down was best for you. You dusted off the pencil skirt you were wearing and tried to straighten the lavender blouse you had on. You didn’t even know why you were caring about what you looked like this was going to be just like teaching the kids at the school. But just one on one.
But you knew the reason why you were so nervous. Homelander, his father. You didn’t want to have one single thing wrong with you that would tick him off and him deciding to kill you right there. You were pretty sure that Homelander was a fickle guy due to who he was and to the public. But you hoped that his son being there would stop him from doing anything rash but you didn’t put anything past him.
“Fuck it I look fine,” You whispered to yourself in the mirror before grabbing you bag that had everything you needed in it.
Getting in the car you put the address into your phone and started driving to Homelanders place. Which you had to agree was weird. You thought he lived at Vought and his son would live there as well but no from the looks of it and where you were driving it looked like he had a house in a suburban neighborhood.
The house looked just like any house on a family sitcom. It wasn’t too big, or too small, it was normal. That ticked a red flag in your head because there wasn’t anything normal about Homelander. You were pretty sure he had people dressing him and cooking for him every night and he was living here in this normal house.
You had this horrible feeling in your stomach but you pushed those feelings out as you sat in your car for a few minutes before exiting the house and walking up to the door where you froze for another few minutes. You took a deep breath before pressing your button to the doorbell.
Rubbing your wrist, you tried calming your nerves but it wasn’t working. You had every right to be nervous. This man was the most powerful man in the world and by default the most dangerous man in the world. You didn’t want to do anything to tick him off.
He seemed very high maintenance and wanted everything to be perfect so it confused you why he asked for you to teach his son. You weren’t the smartest teacher out there, hell you weren’t even the smartest person in the school you taught. The question kept running through your brain as you stared at the door waiting.
Suddenly the door opened to reveal the man himself. Homelander. Standing there in his suit with that same smile plastered on his face as he saw you. Luckily he didn’t seem angry so maybe luck was on your side today.
“Ms. Y/L/N I was worried you weren’t going to show up,” Homelander says and you look at him confused. You didn’t think you were late.
“Oh I’m sorry sir I didn’t realize I was late,” You say taking a look at your phone that you pulled from your pocket and you were only a few minutes late. Well you weren’t wrong about the high maintenance.
“It’s only a few minutes as long as you don’t make a habit out of it,” Homelander waved it off as he opened the door wider so you could walk in. You didn’t know what he meant by that. Were you seriously going to have to be here on time every fucking day.
Walking in the house it seemed brand new which seemed about right, since you thought that Homelander lived in the Vought tower. He must’ve just bought it for him and his son, and you were a bit curious about Ryan's mother and where she was. Nothing in the news stated anything about her and that made a child run up your spine about the possibilities of what could’ve happened to her.
Back on the topic of the house. It was perfectly clean and you wondered if a kid even lived in this house. You’ve been around kids all ages and they weren’t the cleanest so to say you were kind of dumbfounded at this.
“Ryan come to the kitchen please,” Homelander called out as the two of you stepped in the kitchen. You put your bag on the table looking at him to make sure you weren’t angering him at all. “He’ll be down here in a second, he’s been waiting for this all week, jittering like fucking cokehead,” He said leaning against the kitchen counter.
The language threw you off. You didn’t take Homelander for someone who swore at all and you shook off the shock and gave him a smile.
“Well that’s good, you don’t see it that often, kids wanting to learn,” You say, wringing your fingers in front of your stomach, the pit in your stomach was still there but it was shrinking as the conversation kept going.
“That’s all what I’m about, wanting Ryan to get a good education so that he can be successful in life, that’s all I’ve ever wanted,” Homelander told you, putting his hands behind his back. “…..And to be honest he wasn’t the only one looking forward to this meeting,” He gave you another smile showing off his pearly whites.
“Oh that’s a nice thing to hear as well,” You say bashfully, giving a smile.
He wasn’t lying when he said he'd been waiting all this time for you to show up. Ryan was wanting to see you as much as he was. It took them some time for them to pick you out from all the other teachers and you were perfect for him and Ryan. You were in your late 20s, no boyfriend, no kids, no family you talk to, and not many friends, or at least he thought that. You don’t go out much. And to top it off you had that maternal side of you, working in a school, you helped kids all the time and knew exactly what they wanted. It also helped for Homelander that you were an attractive woman.
Homelander knew that it was going to take some convincing to get Ryan on board for this but surprisingly Ryan was genuinely excited to meet you, for you to take care of both of them. Homelander need that, someone to help him with this and everything, someone he could come to and someone who would caress his cheek and run her fingers through his hair. Someone who would hug him and let him cuddle against her chest. Someone to just coddle him.
Ryan needs a mother to essentially do that as well, someone who could help him when he’s sad or mad or just confused. Homelander wasn’t good at that stuff so needed someone. Someone that could be at their beck and call. Someone who could help Ryan with school and read him bedtime stories so that he could fall asleep. Or when he had a nightmare and needed someone to talk to.
You were that person. You were that perfect person for them. It would just take some time and convincing.
Ryan came running down the stairs as you said that sentence and ran up to stand in front of his dad who put his hand on his shoulders as you gave both of them a soft smile.
“Hey Ryan it’s nice to meet you,” You say, holding your hand out for him to shake.
You were expecting the boy to shake your hand but he ignored your hand and wrapped his arms around your body giving you a hug. You were a bit gobsmacked at this. No kid has ever been that affectionate. But you did reciprocate the hug not wanting to upset him. He was just a kid.
“Told you he has been waiting for this,” Homelander says, giving you a smug smile this time as you caress the back of the kid's head.
“Sorry just a bit shocked no kids ever acted like this,” You say as Ryan still had his head buried in your stomach.
“It’s nice to meet you as well,” Ryan muttered into your stomach as it was muffled by the fabric of your blouse.
“Ok come on Ryan she’s here for a reason,” Homelander intervened putting his hands back on his shoulders beginning to tug him back but Ryan resisted as his arms stayed locked around you muttering a no into your stomach.
Surprisingly you weren’t scared, he wasn’t hugging you tightly and you weren’t a psychologist but it seemed like he had some attachment issues but you didn’t want to judge too soon. You weren’t privy to his background and didn’t want to make him feel bad for this. To be honest, the maternal side of you was melting from this, wanting to comfort the boy as he stood hugging you.
Meanwhile Homelander was in awe. It didn’t even take you 5 minutes for you to break. You were so perfect for the both of them that made a pang in his heart as he watched you hug Ryan. Although he also couldn’t help a pang of jealousy coursing through him watching you comfort his son and deep down wished it was him you were comforting.
Mentally shaking his head. The time will come, he thought.
“Ryan come on,” Homelander says, giving another tug on the boy he could use his whole strength but he didn't want to hurt Ryan or you for that matter. But he didn’t budge.
You put your hand on top of Homelanders' gloved one trying to reassure him that this was okay. Deep down you this would cause some problems in the future but you didn’t honestly give two fucks at the moment. Homelander tensed as you did that, not expecting but loving it.
“Hey Ryan, why don’t you let go of me,” You whispered, running our fingers through his hair.
“Don’t want you to leave,” Ryan muttered into your stomach again as a confused expression came across your face. You weren’t even here for two minutes and he was worried you were gonna leave. Yeah you knew there was something wrong, this boy was getting attached to your hip and you knew deep down that something must’ve happened to his mother, for him to be attached this much.
“I’m not gonna leave, not yet,” You muttered as you felt him move a bit against your stomach. “I promise and when I do leave, I’ll be coming back tomorrow don’t worry,” You tried reassuring the boy and was a little worried when he gave you a little squeeze at the mention of leaving. But eventually he let up on the hugging.
“Promise,” Ryan says looking up at you.
“Promise, even ask your dad I’m pretty sure if I don’t show up, he’ll do something about it,” You say waving your hand at Homelander.
“Don’t worry buddy I promise you she’s going to be coming here every day,” Homelander promised, giving his shoulders a squeeze. You didn’t want to intervene and say you wouldn’t be coming here on the weekends.
“Okay,” Ryan says, giving you a smile, removing his arms from around you and moving to sit at the kitchen table, where your stuff was.
“Okay buddy lets get started….”
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For the next few weeks, everything was going amazing. Ryan was amazing at the stuff you were teaching him and you were proud that he was this smart bright kid. But he was getting more and more attached to you.
To the point that you had to stay a few hours extra, past your planned time and coming over on the weekends as well. Homelander didn’t stop it, he loved it and you knew it but you didn’t know why at the moment. Luckily you didn’t have many friends so you could spend time helping this kid. Plus you liked spending time with both of them and to be honest you were beginning to like coming here everyday, being greeted by Homelander and teaching Ryan. Homelander usually stayed in watching the both of you and you paid no mind, so you didn’t see the longing look in his eyes as you taught his son math.
On his side he was beginning to lose patience and wanted you with the both of them at all times and considered it as he watched over you at nights. He could easily do it. You left your window locked since you lived on an apartment building, you didn’t have any security system, hell you didn’t even own a fucking dog. Honestly he thought your nativity was adorable, you needed someone like him to protect you. He just couldn’t wait to have you in his arms so you could take care of him and Ryan.
You on the other hand were trying to gather up the courage to ask Homelander about what happened to Ryan's mom since his attachment to you became bigger and bigger. It was also quite worrying because Homelanders' attachment was becoming bigger and bigger as well. He was more subtle at least.
Although you weren’t scared of him or Ryan. They hadn’t done anything to indicate that you should be scared. So at the moment you just stayed in your schedule as the times staying with Ryan increased more and more.
On this particular Friday everything was normal as you came to the house but Homelander left in the middle of your session. Muttering something about work. That worried you, you didn’t know what’s going on, and how long you should stay here with Ryan but you tried to brush off the worrying not wanting to worry the boy out.
By the time it hit 6 o’clock you were still worried about Homelander and where he was. But Ryan didn’t know anything which helped you, he didn’t need to worry about his dad.
“I’m hungry,” Ryan stated as the two of you sat and watched tv.
The session had ended an hour ago and the two of you decided to watch tv so that you could help your nerves and Ryan would get a break from school work. But as soon as the tv started the both of you started talking and it felt so normal talking to this boy as though he was a part of your life.
“Oh I could make you something to eat,” You say getting off the couch and he followed you as you entered the kitchen again moving around so that you were in the kitchen as Ryan sat on the chairs that were in front of the kitchen counter. “What do you want,” You question, giving him a smile.
“Mac and Cheese,” He answered with a smile of his own, after some pondering.
You were quite nervous, you didn’t know if Homelander stocked any food here since you barely ate here and Ryan only ate snacks. But when you opened the fridge and cabnits everything was there and you let out a sigh of relief as you started the dinner and began to talk to Ryan casually.
“So Ryan who usually does the cooking here,” You question as you got the noodles ready on the stove, boiling at the point you wanted them.
“Well dad usually gets a chef here since he doesn’t know how to cook and the chef only comes when dads here,” Ryan answered as he watched you cooking. He began to think of his mom and became sad. He sometimes has thoughts about her and he doesn’t like it.
“Hey Ryan what’s wrong,” You asked worriedly, putting your hands on his and rubbing the back of his hands with your thumb for comfort.
“Nothing,” He sniffed, not wanting to cry in front of you. Homelander told him showing his emotions was weak and he especially should do that in front of you as that would make him appear weak.
“Come on bud you can tell me,” You cooed, giving his arm a squeeze. “You don’t have to hide your feelings in front of me Ryan,” You reassured him.
“It’s just my mom,” He muttered as a tear slid down his cheek and you gave him a look of sympathy as you wiped the tear from his cheek giving his forehead a kiss. You definitely knew something went down with his mom.
“That’s fine thinking about your parents especially ones you don’t see anymore can make you sad and make you want to cry and you should, crying isn’t bad Ryan it's good that you can. It shows that you are strong,” You told him in a soft tone,
“But dad said crying in front of people makes you seem weaker,” Ryan says, looking at you with wet cheeks.
Walking around the counter and wrapping your arms around him and he immediately receives it, tightly hugging you and definitely not hugging at his full strength. You ran your hand down his back, comforting him as he sobbed into your chest. You had a feeling Homelander had these values as he seemed like one of those men. You weren’t mad as you know these were taught to him but you were going to have to talk to him about it. Because it wasn’t good for Ryan to hide his emotions especially from his dad.
“Don’t worry Ryan, everything's going to be fine,” You mutter. “I’ll talk to him, don't worry,” You tell him. “And as for your mom she’s always going to be there for you she’s going to be all around you especially in here,” You say putting your hand on his head.
You felt Ryan nodd into your chest as he was still sitting in the chair and you were standing and leaning down. It was uncomfortable but it didn’t matter at the moment.
“Okay,” You say, pulling him away from your chest. “Now let’s get your food ready so you can fill your tummy,” You say, giving him a chipper smile wanting to change the subject. He nodded as he wiped his tears and you walked around the kitchen counter and checked on the noodles.
The rest of the night was spent eating dinner and talking to Ryan about multiple things as his moods got more and more happier and you didn’t really care that Homelander was gone now. You were having an amazing time with Ryan and you definitely weren’t going to leave him all alone here with no one around.
After dinner the both of you sat on the couch again and started to watch tv again and Ryan eventually ended up with his head in your lap as you watched tv. He eventually fell asleep a few minutes after he laid down on your thighs. You began to run your fingers through his hair as you soothed him into sleep. You didn’t want to move him to his bed as that would wake him and you didn’t have the heart to do that at the moment so you just kept caressing and watching the tv waiting for Homelanders arrival.
When Homelander eventually came home it was around midnight and you were still up and to be honest he was surprised that stuck around but he knew that you cared for Ryan and that made his chest fill up with warmth especially when he watched you with Ryan’s head in your lap. God he wanted you so bad but he needs to practice patience.
“Hey Y/N,” Homelander greeted you at the couch and gave you a smile.
“Hey Homelander,” You greeted him with a tight smile. After calling him sir for so many times he told you to call him Homelander and you caved.
“Sorry I made you stay so late. I had an emergency at Vought and had to do some work,” Homelander apologized as he tightened his fist behind his back. He was initially sorry but now he was happy because he could witness you helping his son.
“It’s fine me and Ryan had fun,” You say as you stop moving your hand. “Speaking of him, we should get him to bed it is midnight,” You say.
Homelander melted at the words you said. We. We should get him to bed. As if you were already a family and it made him so happy that you may be coming around to this and you may want this as well.
He nodded and the two of you successfully got Ryan to bed without waking him and you tucked him into his covers and gave him a kiss on the forehead and left the room to greet Homelander in the hall who still had this smile on his face. But you tried to keep your mind on the target, you wanted to talk to him about Ryan.
“You got any wine,” You asked with a tired tone and you were tired but you needed some relaxation.
Homelander chuckled and gave you a curt nod and even though he didn’t drink he knew you had the occasional wine here and there.
Once you got the wine you chugged it down in one instance and Homelander knew he was going to have to do something about that once he got you under the roof. Ryan didn’t need a drunk for a mother and even though you don’t do it often, he knows how addictions work.
“I also need to talk to you about something,” You say, wiping your mouth after chugging the wine like it was your last drink.
“Ask away,” Homelander says, pointing his hand at you, giving you the floor.
“Ryan told me something today that worried me and I wanted to talk to you about it,” You say and Homelander raised an eyebrow at the mention of his son. “He said you didn’t like it when he cried in front of him and other people and I know I’m not his mother or guardian in any way but I know what makes kids turn into angry adults and this is one of the reasons why boys turn into angry men,” You say sternly. “I know you’re his dad and I would normally not even bring this up but I just want to help him and you for a matter of fact and if you want to fire me that’s fine I just wanted to give you a piece of advice,” You say and immediately take a deep breath from all the words you just said.
Homelander looked at you flabbergasted at what you had told him. He didn’t think you had the guts to stand up to him and honestly seeing you angry was definitely a turn on for him. Even though he does think these values, if he wants you to even think about staying with him once he does get you under this roof he has to try it with you. He needs to take your advice even if he doesn’t like it, and he knows once you become a more permanent figure in the house he’s going to need some of your opinions.
“I know I know,” Homelander runs his glove hands over his face feeling out of energy. “I honestly didn’t think about it when I said it just came out,” He mutters looking down at the floor feeling kind of ashamed as though you were disappointed in him and he would hate you being disappointed in him.
“Hey it’s okay I know these things are taught and I’m glad you see these things,” You say reassuring him, also happy he didn’t burn you alive. You cautiously bring your hand to his cheek and begin to rub your thumb along his cheek bone trying to comfort him.
Luckily for your life it seemed like he enjoyed it as he leaned into your hand and slowly closed his eyes at the comfort of your hand. You felt amazing and he immediately preened under your touch and by the sound of your heart beating a little faster he knew you liked it as well.
“You can stay the night if you want since it’s so late,” Homelander whispers, turning his head, giving your palm a kiss, making your whole body heat up under his lips.
“That’s nice of you and I’ll take you up on that offer,” You say, giving him a genuine smile. “But only if you are comfortable with that I would hate to make you or Ryan uncomfortable,” You say fiddling with your wine glass.
“You don’t have to worry about that,” Homelander laughs. “Ryan would love to have you here as well as I so don’t worry about our comfort,” He says, finding it cute that you were so worried about his and Ryan's comfort, it also filled his whole body with happiness.
“It’s probably a good idea that I stay here, you have no idea what kind of creeps are out there at this time at night and I wouldn’t want to take a chance with that,” You say, knowing what would probably happen if you did leave and you didn’t like the ending of that story.
“I’ll show you to the guest room,” Homelander states as he stands up and starts walking towards the stairs expecting you to follow him. Expectedly you do as he thinks and follow him up the stairs.
“So anything new interesting going on in your life,” Homelander questions once you reach the top of the stairs.
“Eh not much I don’t go out much, definitely not as much as the people in my age group, that probably explains why I don’t have many friends,” You nervously laugh shaking your head. It’s true you don’t have many friends since you don’t live your life that exciting.
“I get what you're saying, I didn't have many friends when I was younger,” Homelander lies partially. He didn’t have any friends but that’s because Vought was keeping him as a fucking lab rat and he didn’t have any chances to make any friends.
“It’s probably due to my fear of making connections with people, too afraid to let them in,” You say as the both of you trail across the carpet to the guest room, keeping your voices down for Ryan. He gives you a weird look at what you just said and to be honest you would as well. “That’s what my therapist says at least,” You chuckle running your hands over your face as you feel fatigue creep inside your bones.
Homelander makes an ‘ohhh’ face but internally he knew he would have to do something about that. You didn’t need a therapist, especially now since you have him in your life. All that therapist would do is try to keep you away from him and that’s just not what he needs at the moment. He just needs you with him and Ryan, if he had that it would be happiness that he’s wished for, for his entire life.
“Anyways here’s the room, there’s a shower in there and some extra clothes for you to sleep in,” Homelander opens the door as he gives you a look over knowing you couldn't sleep in your clothes.
“Thanks again,” You say, trying not to show how confused you were by the fact he has extra clothes here.
“I’ll be off now, I’ll see you in the morning,” Homelander says his goodbyes, giving you a wave and strolling off to his room but not before you could say anything.
“Goodnight Homelander,” You say.
“John,” He says, keeping his back towards you.
“Huh,” You turn around not understanding what he meant.
“My name it’s John,” He whispers, hoping you heard it and by the extra skip in your heartbeat you did.
“Goodnight John,” You whispered.
“Goodnight.”
After the two of you bid your good nights you both made your way to your respective rooms where the both of you were doing totally different things.
You immediately took off your clothes and made your way to the shower and you were shocked nonetheless seeing a plethora of shampoos and body washes. You tried not to be freaked out that it was the same ones you use, It’s probably a coincidence a lot of people use this you thought to yourself before turning on the shower and making it hot. It was specifically cold tonight and you just wanted to relax.
Once you enter the hot shower your body immediately relaxes as the hot water drips down your body and you hum slowly loving the comfort from this. After a few minutes of just standing there under the water you started to bathe yourself, starting with your hair.
Homelander on the other hand had other plans for what he was doing. He sat his body down on the perfectly neat bad that he almost never sleeps in. Compound V does that to you. He has his body facing towards the room you're sleeping in. He honestly had to have so much self control on not following you in there when he wanted to so badly. With his hands on his knees he watches you undress and get in the shower.
It’s not like it’s something he hasn’t seen before, he goes to your apartment every night after Ryan goes to sleep just watching you do your mundane task. Obviously he got hard from all of this, especially when you took your clothes off or when you touched yourself to relieve stress.
His eyes clothes when you start humming feeling his body start to lock in comfort that he just wishes he could lay down on your lap whilst you coddle him. To comfort him and give him praise. But he knows you're warming up to him as he notices every time you come over you’re wearing some that accentuates your chest so that he would always notice. Your body temperature always rises when he’s around and your heart rate spikes when he’s standing next to you and he loves it. He just loves it so much and he knows how it feels since he feels the same way when he’es around you.
Once you get out of the show you wrap a towel around your body and start to dry yourself and make your way into the room and put on some underwear and an oversized shirt. You don’t even want to know where he got this shit from. You’re just so tired that once your head immediately hits the pillow you're out like a light. But some of it was due to the wine you have to admit.
After about an hour into your sleep Homelander makes his way into your room and he knows you're asleep by the way you snore quietly into the pillow. He notices that you left the light on and he knows that you have the tv on at your home and he wonders if the dark scares you. He shakes those thoughts out of your head as he comes to stand next to the bed and brings his now ungloved hand to caress your cheek.
Luckily for him your body is facing him so he has more leeway. His thumb gently strokes your cheekbone as you sleep and he’s noticed that you were a deep sleeper from the first time he’s entered your apartment. Homelander just loves everything about you even though he thinks humans are beneath him, you don’t count as one of those. You’re special.
Leaning down gently he presses his lips to your forehead. He makes an exit out of the room knowing the next time you sleep here it would be in his bed one way or the other.
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The moment you wake up you go to the bathroom and brush your teeth before looking through the drawers and finding that there were some jeans and you immediately thanked god as you put them on and made your way down the stairs knowing it was only 9 o’clock in the morning. Luckily you didn’t have to teach today which caused some stress to exit your body.
Your stomach was growling from hunger and you knew you had to eat something and while you were at it you could make something for John and Ryan as well to thank them for letting you stay here.
Once you got the pancakes ready someone in front of the kitchen counter said. “Hello,”
You jump and immediately turn around to see Homelander standing there with a grin etched onto his face as he watches you cook.
“God John you scared the absolute shit out of me,” You let out a deep breath as he gives you this warm look that makes your body heat up. You’ve always thought he was attractive but you can’t help the ways he makes your heart skip a beat.
“Sorry once you woke up, that woke me up and I came down here wondering what you were doing,” Homelander softly says and you give him a confused look. “Super hearing and a very light sleeper,” He says pointing to his eyes and you have a look of realization on your face.
“Sorry I didn’t mean to wake you I just wanted to thank you for letting me stay here and what other way to thank you by making you and Ryan breakfast,” You rush out not wanting to make him mad but in reality nothing you did could ever make him mad at you.
“Don’t worry, it’s sweet that you thought of it and I know Ryan will love it, he usually wakes up around this time so, perfect timing,” Homelander says clapping his hands. “So how’d you sleep last night,” He questions.
“Amazing, the bed was so comfortable that I’m kinda upset that I have to sleep on my own mattress tonight,” You laugh as you take a bite out of the pancake.
Homelander subtly frowned that he forgot that you weren’t going to be here tonight and suddenly he felt his heart race at the thought of that. But on the other hand he was glad that you didn’t want to leave the house, it showed that you were comfortable around him and in his house. He was going to have to move the date of his plan soon because he was going crazy at the thought of you not being here for him or for Ryan.
“Well you’re more than welcome to stay another night, and it makes me happy to know that you feel comfortable here,” Homelander says.
“I just- I don’t know it’s just something about this place and about you and Ryan that makes this place so homey,” You tell him fiddling with your fingers.
“You know that makes me really happy to hear,” Homelander says with a chuckle, making you smile at him.
Suddenly you hear Ryan come running down the stairs and that makes you break out in a grin as he comes into the kitchen with a huge grin on your face.
“You’re still here,” Ryan says with happiness written all over his face alongside the huge smile on his lips. He comes up and wraps his tiny arms around your waist giving you a squeeze and you wince a little. When he usually hugs you, he’s gentle but sometimes he forgets his own strength and squeezes a bit too hard. But it never caused any long term damage and you could handle it since he was so happy to see you.
“Of course I am buddy I would never leave without saying goodbye to you,” You say leaning down and kissing his forehead while putting your arms around his shoulders giving him a squeeze too, not as hard as his but a squeeze nonetheless. “But I am going to have to go home soon you know that right,” You say not wanting to lead the poor kid on that you’re staying here forever.
“No I don’t want you to go,” Ryan sternly mumbled into your stomach as you felt his shoulders stiffen and you looked up and saw Homelander with a melancholy expression on his face and you frown in confusion.
“I know Ryan but you know you’ll see me soon, I’m not going to up and leave you forever,” You try to reassure him but giving his head a light caress.
“But why can’t you just stay here, it would be easier for you, and you wouldn’t have to drive here everyday and-and you wouldn’t be worried about the time,” Ryans words stumbled out of his mouth.
You didn’t know what to say to that, it was still obvious that Ryan wanted you here all the time and now it was bigger than the first day you met him and your heart started to race as the thought that you let this happen. You didn’t want to hurt Ryan, he’s such a sweet boy and you never want him to be sad but you can’t just break these boundaries. Even though deep down you know you’ve already broken a lot of boundaries.
“Ryan sweetie I know you don’t want me to leave but-,” You say but you were interrupted by Ryan.
“No don’t leave, please just don’t leave, dad make her stay,” Ryan says as he starts to cry into your stomach and you feel your throat start to dry up and your eyes begin to water.
His arms tightened a bit more and you held in a whimper not wanting to upset Ryan even more, you knew he didn’t want to hurt you so you just stood there and caressed his hair trying to remain calm.
“I know you’re upset Ryan and and you just- your dad can’t-,” You began to say again but this time you were interrupted by the man you were talking about and you were relieved at first but once the words came out of his mouth your heart rate increased.
“Okay I’ve had enough of this I didn’t want this to be today but it can’t go on like this anymore, you’re staying here and that’s final,” Homelander sternly said pointing this finger at you as you stood there agape at what he just said.
You could feel yourself stiffen and begin to sweat a bit as nervousness began to set and you swallowed as you tried to keep your calm but you were sure he could hear your heartbeat. Suddenly there was this knot in your stomach, the type of know that made you want to throw up and pass out, but with Ryan’s vice grip around you couldn’t even move.
“Homelander- John I can’t just stay here I don’t live here,” You rush out as you try to keep your breathing calm.
“Well know you do,” Homelander snapped. “I know this might be upsetting for you at first but soon you’ll love it here and I know you love it here when you come here everyday so why not just stay here,” He says trying to calm you down as he hears your heart increase and your breathing become more shallow.
“Because I don’t fucking live here John,” You snap giving him an angry look as Ryan nuzzles into your stomach and you can tell he’s starting more anxious due to the fighting but right now his father was being unreasonable.
“Hey you watch your language in front of my son,” Homelander snaps at and you swore you could see his glow red for a second and then you felt your stomach fall to your ass as your hands began to shake while you were caressing Ryan’s head.
You tried to say something but nothing came out as your breathing became more and more erratic as the reality of your situation began to flood your head. You felt a few tears roll down your face as you bit your lip trying to keep your sobs in. Breathing in and out you tried to calm yourself down but it wasn’t helping. When panic attacks usually happen to you, doing that usually helps but it’s not.
Homelander closed his eyes as he listened to your uneven breathing. This isn’t how he wanted to do this but, Ryan was freaking out and it was going to happen sooner or later so he just figured that why it not me now. He knew it would take time for you to settle but soon it would be like paradise for all three of you, he knew it.
“Okay Ryan bud,” Homelander came around the kitchen island to put his hand on Ryan’s other shoulder to get his attention as you looked up at him with fear in your eyes. “Why don’t go outside and play for a bit while me and Y/N talk okay,” He says, squeezing his shoulder.
“Why,” Ryan grumbled into your stomach and you closed your eyes as you felt Homelanders hand run down your arm.
“We just need to talk and situate everything,” Homelanders said. “Don’t worry she’s not leaving you can count on it,” He says as he gives you a look. Ryan doesn’t move and Homelander sighs. “Isn’t that right Y/N you’re not going to leave,” He says and Ryan looks up at you.
“Uh yeah,” You say as a tear trails down your cheek you put your hand on Ryan’s cheek. “Don’t worry about me, I'm staying,” You say with a tremble in your voice.
Ryan nods and gives you one last squeeze before running out. You rub your sides as you try to keep calm. You stand completely still as Homelander approaches you and puts his hands on your cheeks wiping the tears. You let out a little whimper not knowing what he was going to do.
“Don’t worry I’m not going to hurt you, I would never hurt you,” Homelander says at least not on purpose he thinks. “I know this must be hard to deal with but trust me when everything falls into place you are going to LOVE it, you won’t have to worry about anything any more,” He says giving you a pleading look.
“Homelander-Homelander-,” You stutter trying to begin your sentence but you were interrupted again by him.
“Don’t call me that, call me John,” Homelander says with annoyance coming across his features.
“John,” You begin to say. “I know it must be hard being a single dad but I-I can’t stay here,” You tremble underneath his hands as he looks at you in what you could describe as disappointment.
“Yes you can, you can stay here and take care of Ryan and take care of me, you can quit your job, you won’t have to worry about having to pay bills anymore, or about how you’re gonna eat with what money you have. You won’t have to worry about the guy who keeps fucking harassing everytime you leave your apartment. You just won’t have to worry,” Homelanders rants and your face looks as if you’ve seen a ghost. “I love you,” He whispers as he
You’ve never told him about your money problems. You never told him about your neighbor Ted who keeps flirting with you and groping you, and that information makes you stare up at him in shock. But on the other hand it feels nice to have someone wanting to take care of you, to care about you, to make sure you’re okay. Someone just to love you. You haven't been in a relationship in such a longtime that this is making you almost want to smile up at him.
“John I-I If you felt this way about me this isn’t how you go about it, you ask me on a date and then we work up to it,” You say, hesitantly raising your hand and putting your hand on his cheek giving it a gentle caress.
“I knew you weren’t going to like this but it’s a part of the risk, I need you here, and I know in due time you'll realize how right I am,” Homelander whispers as his lips hover over yours.
“I-I what about my stuff? What about my life?,” You say as the panic starts to come back.
“Don’t worry I’ll go and get it and you’ll feel like you’re just at home,” Homelander says before giving you a short peck on the lips. “Now,” He claps. “That's settled, I can finally relax and eat those pancakes that you made,” He says before sitting down.
You give him a wary look as he gives you a wink before delving into the food.
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It’s been a few days since the whole Homelander kept you here and you were in denial for a bit. You thought he would send you home and that this whole thing was a prank and you could go on with your normal life.
But reality sunk in when Homelander moved your stuff into the room you slept in. You cried yourself to sleep that night not knowing what you were going to do. But you were woken up to Ryan shaking you and going on and on about how happy he was that you were here.
You didn’t want to admit it but it made you happy that Ryan was so happy to have you here but you wanted to keep a hold of your sanity, not wanting to fall into the trap. But you knew that you were going to give in, it was just a matter of time and you also knew that you didn’t mind it.
The past few days though Homelander has barely been at the house making you wonder if you could actually get away with packing and leaving. You could just run but it didn’t matter anymore, he would find you. No matter what. How could you run from him, he probably had eyes on you this whole time. You didn’t want to be on the reciprocating end of his anger so you just decided to stay put.
Another reason was Ryan. You didn’t want to leave him alone. You didn’t want him to feel abandoned by you, he’s already been through so much and you did want to help him and in the end you just decided that you would suck it up for Ryan. You would do this for him.
And he was so happy every day when he woke up he came to your room and climbed into your bed whilst resting his head on your chest. The two of you talked like it was just a normal day and you wanted it to stay like that.
But while Homelander was gone, you found yourself missing him, maybe this was Stockholm settling in but your heart was starting to ache for him. You wanted to feel his touch and feel his love, you couldn't keep that from him, he would just hear your heartbeat.
On the fifth night you were sitting on the couch with a glass of wine as you watched tv. You just put Ryan to bed a few hours ago and you wanted to catch up on some of the tv shows you watched.
Suddenly a whoosh made you jump a little and turn around to see Homelander standing there with a look of sadness on his face. His shoulders were slumped as he looked at you and it made you want to coo at him and ask what’s the matter.
“John, where’ve you been,” You say softly as he shakes his head softly and feels his heart race at the thought of you being worried.
“You’re not mad at me…. Anymore?” Homelander questions with a sullen tone and with a little pout on his lips that almost made your lips quick in a smirk but decided against it just in case that would make him angry.
“John you have to understand why I’m mad, you’d be angry if you were in my position, hell you’d probably set the house on fire if you were in my position,” You say with a tiny chuckle.
“I just don’t want to make you angry at me, I did what I did for my son and…. For you,” Homelander whispers as rounds the couch you were sitting on and points at the seat next to it subtly asking you if he could sit.
You nod and he sits next you and his body stiffens as he does not know what to do. You notice his saddened look and you feel your heart skip a beat at that.
“C’mere,” You sigh, opening your arms and the two of you lay down on the couch with Homelanders neck nuzzled into your neck and you running your fingers through his hair and he lets out a sigh of relief.
Meanwhile your other hand carefully caresses down his back trying to make him more happy and as you place a kiss on his forehead, you can feel him smile into your neck making your heart race.
His hands carefully wrap around your waist as he minds his strength while hugging you. This is heaven to him. This is what makes him happy.
As you keep running your fingers through his hair, he rubs his nose against your clavicle and gives you a few kisses there that makes a shiver run down your spine and you don’t want him to notice but he does and he gives your hip a squeeze. He knows you don’t want to admit it deep down that you like it but he can feel that you do. You love it.
“I’m glad we’re finally making progress,” Homelander whispers into your ear giving you a kiss right below it and you shake your head and chortle. “You’ll love it soon enough.”
“I just know it.”
And deep down he was right and you knew that.
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Signs from when I was younger that maybe kinda sorta should've clued me in on that I'm maybe not as allo as many have anticipated (mayhaps):
• Despite my mother suggesting otherwise, I was able to 'choose' my crushes
• Despite *that,* any option in kiss, marry, kill (or any other variation of it) was just... Wrong
• Any talk of romance and sex outside of a fictional context, and especially if it involved me, felt like a survival scenario
• The sweet childhood memories of me trying to force myself to be attracted to fictional characters (and it 'working')
• The shock and horror I felt when a friend of mine called Scar from The Lion King hot (like, he's not even anthro?)
• The concept of marriage sounding like a survival scenario past the wedding party
•A survival scenario that I, in fact, would consider death over then to even bother actually participating in. Not outright choose it, but I wouldn't rule it out
• Legit cannot (and still can't) fathom what my ideal partner would be (I just listed traits I would want in a buddy ol' pal)
• The reasoning for identifying as pan ("all genders make me feel the same way, so that means I'm attracted to all genders")
• Before that I waited for my first crush to reveal my orientation like sexualities are some box opening
• I AM A CHILD OF GOD, AND THUS CANNOT COMMIT TO DISTRACTIONS FROM OUR LORD'S MESSAGE (exceptions may apply)/hj
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complete-clownery · 4 months
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Okay I wont get to work on this any longer tonight so imma just post this
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So this morning I have realised some stuff about my Macaque home hc
So first of all you can see the human disguised Macaque with Bai He,
and so Bai He wasnt there or "planed into the house" three days ago, but I decided that, that just wont do, I want her with Macaque, so im going to have to go back and alter my original ideas so it would fit the concept of Bai He also living there with Macaque (I have quit a lot of ideas for that, but ill get to them when I have the time)
But its not the main reason I wanted to talk about this even with half finished ideas under constructuion in my head
The big thing you already saw the random old lady and the antic Store/shop, so its no suprise im going to talk about that a for a bit,,, not a lot tho cuz I dont really got the energy for this
Soo--- She does not have a name, but Ill work on that, shes not fully thougt out, but nothing really when it comes to my ideas and headcanons (its kinda like eating halfbaked dough)
so shes 73 years old divorced lady running a little antic shop in the outer cirkles of Megapolis. I was thinking maybe it was her who originally selled the whole building to Macaque and rented the free space under the dojo.
She has a daughter and a grandkid (didn't decide on gender yet)
Shes kinda inspired by @/ladygreenfrisbee's oc in the fanfiction sunbreak, a snarky but sweet old lady whos not taking any shit from the brooding, shadow the hedgehog wannabe.
When she was younger she worked in a Museum in Megapolis, working with antient historical artifacts and megical weapons, but she pretty much knew everything about anything in there, with history and old stories being one of her passions,
Thus after she retired she decided to open and antic store. Even tho its an antic store, she can be one of those people that you bring an old piece of furniture or object in and they can tell you if its legit or not. She is also willing to trade and buy stuff from you if its to her likings. She's fair and not a con artist, she has just enough money for herself and thats completely fine by her, shes a simple woman when it comes to living.
She has a ton of degrees, Dr. And Phd tytels and what nots, extreamly smart and knows a lot about history and mytology and different eras of the past, making it easier for her and Macaque to connect over old stuff.
Also I was thinking, even tho she couldnt tell that Macaque was the Six Eared Macaque himself, she knew that they were wearing glamours, She studied artifects and worked with demons who were experts on the field of magics and glamours, she knows her shit
And even tho She had a decent relationshipp with Macaque I dont think Macaque would willingly let her see his true form, maybe after he was very exhausted, and injured after a fight they couldnt hold it up and were like-- fuck it who cares (maybe it was after the final fight with LBD) and she obviously knew who they were imidietly seeing his Six ears (that even tho he let her see one time hé continued to glamour like he would usually, only letting go of their human disguise)
So after that she would start asking him a whole lot of questions about the past and what was it like, carefully avoiding the questions involving the great sage equal to heaven, cuz she knew what happend from jttw
But yeah Macaque found it funny how a child and an old lady are looking at him with similar shimmer to their eyes as they interrogate him on the past
She loves a good tea and has her own little blends that calm the nerves and ease muscle pain and stuff like that. After She and Macaque became more friendly with eachother she gifted them some tea that helps him fall asleep better and relax. Macaque checked them for poison twice and couldnt find anything, but still wasnt willing to drink from them until he had a very fucked up breakdown yippeee ✌️
After Macaque lived there for some years they somewhat warmed up to eachother, they would hold little tea paties and talk about stuff (annoying husbands and divorce) after Bai He started living with Macaque these tea parties increased in numbers, sometimes the ladys grandchild joining in when Grandma was watching over them, maybe they get along well with Bai He, maybe they had a rocky begining to their friendshipp, but they warmed up to eachother and now are pretty good friends (maybe, ill think about it more)
BUT!!! this was it for now its already 2:40 am and im waking up at 6:40 so even tho I have more to say ill be going now
Bye thank you for reading ✌️☺️
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Am I the asshole for how I dealt with this child ar my part time job?
After I left my college after one semester due to how much I hated the environment of it, I’ve come back home, applied to other colleges, and found a part time job at a trampoline park. It has all kinds of things, like a zip line, laser maze, the whole shebang. I work as a court monitor and make sure kids are safe and whatnot. We do rotations for every stations so one person isn’t super stressed, especially cause some sections are more high maintenance than others.
Anywho, I was managing the laser maze section and I notice this boy. He’s coming up and talking to me, I try and be patient cause kids are dumb. They come up and comment on stupid shit all the time. But then he tries to cut the line, go in during other people’s games, the whole thing. I tell him off, and I think that’s that.
Nope. During my next rotation I’m in the middle area of the platform, where we have dive trampolines and silks. And I know kids are notoriously greedy with silks, so I keep an eye out, make sure to tell kids to share and whatnot. Lo and behold, I see this kid. I can kinda tell already this kid is special needs, so I try and be nice. I ask him how long he’s been on there, then go ask a parent who’s been watching. Kid tells me he’s only been on there for two minutes, but the mom watching says he’s been on there for a while. I tell the kid he needs to get off (nicely btw) and that he needs to share but he throws a fuss. I tell the dad (trying to be nice) and dad gets him off.
Later on I have to warn the kid about going into the laser maze when others are in there. Dad seems pissed off, but honestly I’m just trying to keep this kid out of trouble because his dad is not doing shit about his behavior towards others and their surroundings, nor does he ever get off his phone.
The last straw was when I was looking over the super tramps. I made sure to tell everyone to stay off the black mats surrounding the trampolines and that only 1 person can be on a single tramp at a time. A mom asked me if her tiny kids can go on even if it’s twice at a time. I allowed it, since they’re small and the mom was watching. I talked to the mom a bit, making small talk and making sure she was ok with how I was dealing with things because I know I can be strict and parents are protective. And she mentions the kid coming onto the tramp and how dangerous it was. Like she didn’t even have to mention what he looked like, and when I asked she said yes.
Next thing I know, this kid legit runs onto the damn tramps where they’re at and starts to jump. Out of surprise and shock (because I was watching the tramps and didn’t know he was behind me) I yelled out. And his dad did not like it. Like, I tried to be patient with this kid, but he’s been causing a bunch of problems with other customers and it’s not been great. And his dad is just enabling his behavior.
I try to explain the rules and regulations and what I saw what his son was about to do, but he didn’t even let me explain. He’s complaining that his son knows the rules, and that he was just watching. I try and tell him that he was about to run into these kids on their turn on the super tramp, and the mom also tried to defend me. It got messy to the point he kept saying that it’s my bias against his son for being autistic, but no, it isn’t. And I have two moms to back me up, although one wasn’t there. I tried to reason with this guy, be he wasn’t having it.
I eventually got a manager to talk to him and idk how it ended up, but after I walked away? Man…I just felt so overwhelmed. I never knew what I was holding back until tears just began streaming down. Like man, kids are enough to deal with and I can handle that. But adults legit accusing me of shit like that? God I felt fucking defenseless.
Luckily the managers let me go home early to decompress, but also took my side and understood. Hell, I met the mom watching the silks in the bathroom and she understood.
I’m just trying to do my job man… I really wish I didn’t have to deal with that today.
But… am I the asshole for how I tried to deal with this kid? I am aware of how autism is so diverse and the basics, and I know I need to work on how I deal with kids. And even if I’m really bothered by how this dad deals with his kid and how…idk enabling it feels towards his behavior? I just don’t know. And if I need to I’ll take it if I’m the asshole for how I dealt with it.
What are these acronyms?
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tinkerbellsgf · 5 months
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Nadia Greene
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Daughter of Gaea
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Her name means hope and her last name is kinda just a pun because she's a daughter of Gaea
Her father, Sebastian Greene can actually see through the mist and when he met Gaea he saw her genuine form and was still lowkey into it
She was raised by her father and they weren't really the richest people in the world so he had to work a lot leading to Nadia often feeling neglected by her father
And this causes her to run away at the age of seven after he lost his cool and yelled at her, calling her a nuisance
For a while after she ran away she just legit lived in a tree
Monsters didn't attack her often a they new who her mother was, only very very stupid monsters would attack her
But then when she was eight years old she met an eight year old Annabeth, and fourteen year old Luke and Thalia
A few days after she met them Zeus decided to try and kill her before she could reach her full power as the daughter of a primordial goddess
And struck her with lightning
But her mother wouldn't let her die
So now she just has lightning scars going across her body
Starting at her shoulder and ending at her mid-thigh
They all ended up going to camp together but y'know, the whole tree thing happens
She was in the Hermes cabin for most of her life at camp, her mother not claiming her until The Hero's of Olympus series
She has a sword called δράκος άρωμα aka Dragon Arum which is a kind of plant
She went on the lightning thief quest
And most quests after that (she almost threw all her guts up and cried multiple times during the sea of monsters for obvious reasons)
Most of the time at camp you'll see her sitting on the docks and chatting with the Nereids
They talk often because they actually saved her life
When she was about nine some Ares camper threw her in the lake, she can't swim and terrified of water
So the Nereids saved her
Now she's actually pretty close with them
She's also often with Percy and Annabeth, two of her closest friends
Her dream is to eventually become either a social worker or a botanist
She's a very nice girl but does have a reputation around camp for being temperamental
Her hobbies include tending to the little garden she has, training and listening to Annabeth ramble about architecture while she plays with her hair
Her style is lots of grandpa sweaters, comfy jeans and the same pair of dark green converse she's had for years
And for training she wears a regular camp half-blood t-shirt and leggings
There's lots more to know about Nadia so I hope you read and enjoy the series I'll be writing about her soon :))
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i'd love to hear about manmaru metadede !!! i heard it's really Gay but no one ever details it. not a lot of it is translated too, as far as i know, but i really like it.. any excuse to talk about something you like is good too
NO YEA not a lot is translated and the manga itself is already more niche compared to like, mopupupu so its not too well known. translation efforts have really started picking up the past year though (shoutout to @/kirby-manga-translated they do great work). if it needed to be restated for new followers since i havent tl'd in a while, i know a decent amount of japanese so i read them on my own :)c
shoutout to my guy @/rosakikoza as well for giving me his scans hehe. the majority of images below are his or taken from his scans. the rest are mine
*deep breath* the tangent. im gonna need to put this under a cut dont mind me 😍😍😍 did i say 3 paragraphs? i meant 20. like 20 paragraphs
meta knight is absolutely pathetic and incredibly down bad for dedede this manga. its adorable. multiple people ive talked to or seen have come to the conclusion it seems like he has a huge crush on him. a quick brief for those who dont know but this mangas meta is admittedly Veryyyyy different from how you'd expect a meta knight to be. uncharacteristically friendly and cheerful and. pathetic is really the best word for it. hes kinda a loser. incredibly protective of dedede, he switches between two modes of fussing over him quite a bit and semi-often going into incredible rage bloodlust modes over protecting him or his image (youll see a good amount of jp fanwork depict this version of him as a yandere for that reason)
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theres also been more than one occasion where meta knight tries to commit seppuku upon accidently doing something he sees as unforgivable towards his king (its in the chapter i just screenshotted above too, another time he broke dededes clock and freaked out about it). i-. dont consider this a cute ship thing for the record im just stating it to emphasize the extent of metas obsession towards dedede this manga. the mans got Problems...
apart from that, also quite differing from most interpretations of both of them, both of them seem to genuinely really like spending time around each other all the time. it comes off as casually domestic and is very cute...
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regardless of my attempts to brief it, i dont feel like im explaining this very well so lemme just show you a frankly ridiculous amount of reasons for why i keep feeling like this mangaka ships metadede
-fake kiss: self explanatory
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-fake proposal: also self explanatory
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mk: Will you marry me!?
ddd: Yes!
context for this scene is that theyre rehearsing for a play, but actually its later revealed that meta knight is playing the princess while dedede is playing the male protag so im not exactly sure it makes sense that hes the one proposing here. my speculation is that to make the proposal seem legit for the gag they Had to use meta LMAO but thats just my take
also to be noted, right after kirby hears the proposal he immediately runs off and tries to tell everyone the news before ddd+mk stop him and explain that its fake. hes not thrown off or weirded out at the idea that they could be getting married in the slightest. kirby says gay rights Real i love him sm
-this one is from what i call the memory loss chapter:
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dedede loses his memories from getting hit in the head too hard. the gang figures out that beating dedede up or otherwise causing him injury causes him to regain some of them back though, to which kirby attempts to harm him with increasingly violent means, much to meta knights horror. mk spends the entire chapter trying to protect dedede from him, and it doesnt work obviously, but after a particularly hard hit dedede remembers everyone again... except for meta knight. to which meta knight gets upset about and lets kirby lay into dedede for real. you see where people get the yandere personality from now right. i dont recall this trait coming out too often but ill talk more about it later
-the whole chapter thats a cinderella retelling with dedede and meta knight. also also self explanatory COME ON LOOK AT THIS ONE. LOOK AT IT.
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mk: Y…You're…
ddd: Wow, he's so beautiful!! It's like I'm dreaming…!
-theres the mangaka chapter which is a more recent one
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the gang makes manga for dedede. meta knight's manga is about how cool, brave, and heroic dedede is. mysteriously enough however the only thing hes good at is drawing dededes face and nothing else. the implications of this one drive me absolutely insane. is it supposed to imply that meta knight stares at his face all day?? admires his appearance??? he looks at him so much he basically has his face memorized????? HUH???????? theres no heterosexual explanation for this. acting like a teenager with a crush out here got damn
=various images im sharing out of context because they r cute
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head pats. holding hands and reaching the goal together. peak.
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KNIGHT DRESSUP FOR THE KNIGHT. AHAAHGH
ddd: Hoho, pretty spiffy don'cha think?
mk: Ohh!? It suits you!!
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fellas is it gay to shout "OHH! META KNIGHT!!" with a dopey grin on your face upon being saved like a damsel in distress
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sometimes meta knight acts domestic as fuck too. his copy abilities as he states are: cook! clean!! and sleep!!!
regarding my thoughts on their dynamic in this series overall, i think theyre absolutely adorable. meta knight emits dog energy in this one. eager golden retriever towards dedede, though dedede has his sweet moments towards meta knight too. (viewing it with a shipping lens just for this post ofc) while meta is the more active crusher, some of the stuff above seems to imply that dedede has feelings in return as well :') they just get along really well too its great. theres a different chapter where they perform as a comedy duo. theyve done plays in multiple chapters. its my hc for these versions of them that they love doing performances of all kinds together and do a lot of rehearsals and writing in their free time...
and the yandere stuff i feel like i should address as well. i try not to take some aspects Too seriously because its to be expected things are over emphasized for the sake of the joke with gag mangas. but oh man the man definitely has problems. he needs therapy. i tried to be transparent in listing those aspects as well so people can make their own conclusions on it But theres one more thing id like to mention regarding that
meta knights personality has been shifting to be different from what i listed, as of the most recent volume. my beloved forgotten land arc... a first for this series in that, while the chapters still retain their gag humor and dont take themselves that seriously, its a serialized story that mostly follows along with the game plot that lasts nearly the whole volume (as opposed to other game arcs in this manga being episodic stories, using the games as their theme rather than a full on setting). with the more serious tone of the serialized story, theres a frankly startling hint of character development i never wouldve expected from a gag manga at the end of it
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kirby gets ko'd the first round of the meta knight cup so meta knight joins the meta knight cup instead. turns out when he does that the final boss of the cup is dedede. meta knight Really doesnt want to hurt dedede and so dedede promptly kicks his ass without a second thought and wins the tournament. while the crowd cheers for dedede's victory, meta and dedede have a small talk where dedede tells him he doesnt need to fuss so much about hurting him/him getting hurt. presumably this is supposed to mark the end of meta knights intense overprotectiveness because (its never been clear-cut due to the nature of the manga previously, so its a lil hard to say) dededes shown he can handle himself, or like, isnt some fragile thing. i really hope itll stick around because i think its a great addition to both of their characters. the meta-knights have also been appearing way more frequently as of very recent chapters (ones that havent been compiled into a volume yet) which seem to also hint to meta knight getting more independence to his character from dedede's loyal servant. im very excited to see where it goes :D
and like, last last disclaimer if anyone needed it; even tho i love metadede and i like to see things through ship glasses sometimes i absolutely try my best to keep my biases out of my translations. putting out accurate translations means a lot to me! this entire post is me purposely putting the ship glasses on so please dont take it as "omg metadede is canon in this manga". you know way back when i was the only active translator for this manga someone tweeted at the mangaka on twitter mentioning that there were english translations around and he replied to that person. didnt respond to the fan translation thing specifically but the fact that he could know who i am definitely kinda terrifies me. if anyone goes around saying that his manga is the metadede manga because of me and he even has the slightest sliver of a chance of seeing that i will kill yall fr LOL
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kichiyosh1 · 5 months
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Finally free from lots of work and chore aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
(Just for the heads up, I'm really sorry for the rant I instead doing than ramble ⁄(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄)
The next part of deceitfully your mak3 me scream, lord I need a man like cross dress scaramouche. He's creepy but I love him.
Also a thought about cross dress scara.
Imagine him getting popular among girls and them keep asking for him to hang out with the girl, he was annoyed consider whenever he ask for you to also join, the other girls were somehow surprise and down. (just imagine the popular mean girl group ask him to join but he also include you)
Imagine scara who realize not many people like you because you didn't share the same opinion about boys, some say your just asking for attention by pretending to be scared. Oh how he wish he can just beat all of those word back to their mouth, how dare they?!? Saying stuff like that about you! Only he can do that! is what he thought when he hear the nasty rumor.
Cross dress scara who keep asking the teacher if he can be place near you always, need a group? Oh can you be so kind to place me with [name]?, have some project? Oh [name] be my project partner. Ect Ect.
Also the though of cross dress scara who make 2 lunch when he realize you keep buying the cafeteria food. He says he accidentally made more for him and his sister, while in reality he go so much as far to ask you about your favorite food (how much you like your egg done is, how much rice you would like, how much seasoning and so on with the detail) while you didn't notice too much about the topic when the two of you were going home from school. Him who make an 'extra turbo maximum pro efforts' with your lunch and he has a decent effort lunch while his sister has the leftover of all the ingredient he just use (you= a cute bear/cat/character you like with many side dish like meat and vegetable, him= a decent mean any other human eats normally, his sister= anything scrap, but still presentable. Half an egg roll? Sure why not put it in a place where it look like it's full. (she can't complain to her mother because none of them can't cooked))
Cross dress scaramouche who keep getting popular and popular the more day he going to the school. Who always have girls looking up at him while he deceitfully fool all of them. He who have visit your house and meet the sole reason why you have a very close minded to men. Him who butter up your mom to make her thrust him enough that he will protect you from other men harms. Him who now remeber your emergency house key placement after your mother thrust him enough to protect you. Him who keep suggesting you had a sleep over with him in your house while you play it like a normal thing to do.
Cross dress scara who definitely hug you form behind while you were asleep when he sleep over, making sure the door was close and he got a recorder to record you while you sleep. Who brought camera to take your sleeping face (like his wall is not full enough with your picture now), he who take a peek at your bathroom and noted the many different products like sampo and soap you use so he can also use the same one.
My head is SOO full of cross dress scara to the point I wish he was real OMG I need him he's creepy and kinda gross but I need him.
➡(link for au)
Rei you legit just wrote the most jaw dropping scenarios for this au and I'm loving it!
note: He is viewed as a 'girl' from other's point of view
〰〰〰
When the other girls try to invite him over to their table he'll try to politely decline at first, saying he has somewhere else he has to be yet they're always so persistent to the point he has to clench the fabric of his skirt in order to ground himself. Besides, why would he want to hangout with a herd of stuck up girls when he can be—
as if on cue, you walk through the doors of the cafeteria
"come on, we really don't mind if you sit here and-" he was already walking away, his focus solely on you as you gave him a small wave when you noticed him approaching you. "[y/n], perfect timing. Luckily for you I was able to snag us a table before all the seats were taken." he says taking ahold of your hand and leading you to the table he's previously been at. The girls tried to hide their shocked expression when Scara brought you to their table, both from how he so nonchalantly ignored them just now and because out of all the people he decided to befriend it just had to be you.
Scara was aware that some of the girls in the school disliked you for disliking boys, often hearing how they whispered about how weird you were for being the way that you are, and it takes every fiber in his body just to hold back and to not shove the student's binder notebook down their throat and tell them to shut up and mind their own damn business.
The quick switch from his crescent-eyed smile directed at you to his disinterested gaze looking back to them made a shiver crawl down their spine. One of the girls fakes a cough, trying to get your guys' attention.
"You sure are lucky we saved you a seat, huh Scara?" his eyes twitched wanting to scrape his name off of the girl's tongue. "Yes, though it would seem there aren't anymore seats left for you guys." The look of confusion passed around the table left even you slightly baffled by what Scara said. A loud thud resounded around the space when his hand collided on top of the table as he gave them a smile, the corners of his mouth twitching.
"Get lost."
It's also common for him to find excuses in order to just be in the same group and or partnership with you for projects. Fr the type to pull out a whole ass presentation about "100 and more in counting reasons why me and [y/n] were made for each other should be group partners." at this point the teacher doesn't even bother stopping him from suddenly declaring himself a part of your group or him transfering you to the group he's already in. cheeky little thing.
I'd like to think he's terrible at cooking, but he gave it a shot and got better and better the more he realized you liked his cooking. The little goofy smile on his face whenever you complimented the meal he made for you. He does disregard your questions as to what he was going to eat for
*・゚゚・*:.。..。.:*゚:*:✼✿  
I don't mind the rant one bit, so please don't apologize!
I promised myself I wouldn't write anything and just react to what you sent but i couldn't help myself
૧(ꂹີωꂹີૂ)
The more I read and read the more my imagination started to flourish with your amazing headcannons. He just wants to love and be loved by you that his actions go from cute to overly obsessive without him even realizing it (he doesn't even think watching you sleep is crazy!).
Overall he does have good intentions but his methods of expressing them are definitely interesting.
I might write a few more headcannons for this ask so thank you for sending it in rei :)
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restinslices · 2 months
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Silly little request but how do you think LKB would dress like casually? Like once every blue moon they have a day off and ding need to wear their uniforms? Can you do this in bullet points?
Them not in their uniforms is such a normal concept but it seems so weird for them if you know what I mean. Like, wdym they don’t wear those outfits to sleep? Also this is probably shorter than other posts because it’s about outfits, yk?
Bi-Han
Black. Moving on-
On some real shit though, I feel like this man’s entire wardrobe is in greyscale 
Someone’s like “hey there’s this event coming up! Can you wear a blue shirt?”
You’d think he’d have blue but nope. Nothing but blacks and greys and maybe a white in there 
I saw a post of biker Bi-Han and I definitely see it now 
Idk if the pictures imma attach at the end are really biker tho so that’s why I’m saying mainly blacks 
Like Elsa, the cold doesn’t bother him anyway so jackets aren’t really a thing he has to wear. He kinda just does because it makes the outfit look better 
That’s all the brain power he puts into it though because this man doesn’t care about his wardrobe at all 
He cares enough to not look sloppy but he doesn’t care about piecing shit together or brands and designer. If you look closely you can see he’s wearing the same shirt he was wearing yesterday 
He wears black because he’s still thinking like an assassin. The whole “I shouldn’t be noticeable” thing 
Which is wild when you think about how he’s definitely noticeable in that blue outfit but idk
He also wears black because… he doesn’t know 
He checked his closet and realized that shit looked like a black void but refuses to actually wear more color 
I don’t see him accessorizing much either. He only carries stuff he can fit in his pockets 
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Kuai Liang
Lazy 
Bi-Han adds a jacket for a bit of razzle dazzle but Kuai Liang doesn’t 
In all fairness, he gets hot easily (this is stereotypical but idc) so a jacket isn’t gonna work 
He wears the most basic t shirts and pants 
Like he legit got the same white shirt 50 times 
The shit is despicable 
I don’t think he adds many accessories either. He probably doesn’t carry much on him 
Long sleeves never really happen either 
Honestly I don’t think of any them dress with any special aesthetic in mind
But him? Extra lazy
I am being so serious when I say he buys the same clothes over and over again. He forgets he has a white t shirt in his closet so he buys another and the cycle repeats 
Probably doesn’t care as much because what are the chances he’ll be out of uniform?
You know how people say men's outfits are so boring? He’s the main example they use because there’s no personality with his shit 
I don’t see him doing much on his off days though so that’s probably why he just throws something on
He’s just getting dressed to go grocery shopping 
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Tomas Vrbada 
The one with the most style 
Which isn’t saying a lot 
Wears multiple layers 
Why do I think this way? Idk. But if I said they all dress the same, it’d be boring so here we are
He probably has a normal type of body heat since he’s not a pyromancer or cryomancer so he’s wearing hoodies and jackets because he’s genuinely cold 
He accidentally has style 
Wearing a hoodie and jacket is stylish to people for whatever reason. He doesn’t get it but he’s like “yeah, I definitely have fashion sense. It’s definitely not because I’m cold all the time. That just doesn’t sound like me”
May accessorize a bit but not as much 
As a whole I think accessories can become heavy and get in the way and our boys gotta be ready to bust a move if something pops off. Just because they’re off duty doesn’t mean they’re not paying attention or in danger 
So that’s why our boys travel light 
He has those smoke bombs and shit so he might have a little pouch with him but I don’t think he’d carry a backpack. Goes back to being too heavy 
If something can’t fit in a pouch, it’s staying home 
Dresses in neutral colors. I don’t think any of them are necessarily into bright colors 
Doesn’t have the same exact clothes but wears them the same exact way. His outfits look like a skin variation 
He’s doing his best 
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Remember all I do for you because imagining them in normal clothes fucked me up more than I’d like to admit
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