how i think i will look like, when explaining the meaning behind arthurs mask

im low on sleep, high on caffeine

idk about y’all but im v excited for the fic exchange <3 the person i got is def one of the people i was like ‘oh id be really happy to get them or vice versa’

I have an URGE to make a Lil Guy tonight.

Me, after forgetting to cut the top off an onion before dicing it: “Aw dammit”

The Gordon Ramsey that lives in my head: “Don’t worry there, this mistake isn’t going to ruin anything. No need to be too hard on yourself”

Me: “Wow, that’s…not what I was expecting”

Gordon: “Of course, you ought to know by now that I don’t shout at cooks just to do so. I do it because the people in hit television show Kitchen Nightmares are putting their services out into the public and claim to be good enough to have the title of head chef. You’re just some guy in your twenties making beef stroganoff for yourself and your roommate. I’m kind of a dick, yeah, but I’m not gonna scream at you for a minor mistake like this”

Me: “Oh….well…thanks”

Gordon: “You’re welcome…cunt…”

cooking up icypocket

static

Who’s coming to the cookout?

before i be insane more. has anyone played/watched a playthrough of sally face

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

drawing phineas and ferb as pairs of siblings from more dramatic shows is the height of comedy to me

reblog for larger polling please 🖤

I'd noticed these spaces melt into each other recently and had my friend @seshrat help cook this up :)

DC X DP PROMPT #4

Danny was one of the people hired to design/build the Watchtower. He got attached to it during this time and the space station is now considered as a part of his haunt.

This is the JLD's first time on the Watchtower, they IMMEDIATLY know what's up.

LJD: did you take a supernatural entities property or something?

LD: what? No! The lights are just like that :)

Danny, still employed on the Watchtower: Space go brrr

I don't see any angry, vengeful Dogday in the ppt community so I'll provide for myself beCAUSE IM STARVING FOR THIS, HE DESERVES TO BE ANGRY-- ahem. Anyway, heres an AU where after there is still fire in Dogdays eyes and him being saved fueled the fire and now he wants to keep fighting.