part 41 got me like

spoilers under the cut

so this AGAIN seems like something important

same with the mask, its just too detailed to be just a funny haha (or kiy is doing his thing and im going insane)

probably (definitely) foreshadowing

again, probably (definitely) the animals represent people but the question is who? theres a possibility that we didnt meet one or more of them, so i dont want to dig too deep into it just yet. i also have the mask analysis in my drafts but life is keeping me busy enough to only work on it a little or none most days kdjamdk

There’s a decent number of malevolent fans in favor of “Arthur stays blind post-separation” but where’s the concepts for John still being in some way disabled post-separation???

My big headcanons for this are:

a. He still isn’t really supposed to exist as an independent entity and some part of his essence is always going to be calling out for his missing half—ie chronic pain

and b. If we wind up with a magically conjured body to fit him, he doesn’t really think of himself as having a right arm since he’s just had Arthur’s left for so long, so the conjured body just…doesn’t have a right arm

I keep thinking about Arthur's regression at the end of Season 2 and then into Season 3. I keep thinking about how victims of trauma tend to get worse once they escape their traumatic situation. How their body and mind start to crack and shake under the weight of the horrors, now safe enough to escape the survivorship mindset but now forced to endure the fallout.

I keep thinking of how hard Faroe's death hit Arthur. How his guilt and grief were so intense that he wanted to kill himself, so low that he drank himself into a stupor for who knows how many years to just dull the pain. I keep imagining how hard it was to pull himself out of that, to work with Parker and find a new meaning in life, to walk away from his guilt of killing his daughter, and instead to help people.

(I keep thinking of how Arthur finds a vial of alcohol in the Dreamlands. How he sniffs it and recoils in disgust.)

I keep thinking of how long it took for Arthur to build himself back up from his lowest point, to tuck the guilt of Faroe in the deepest corner of his mind just so that he has enough room to breathe, to live, to be a better person. (And yet, Faroe is every facet of his life. It's his first memory in Season One, when he plays Faroe's Song, when he doesn't even remember his own name. It's the last name on his lips when he dies on that boat. It's his only memory when John is torn away from him.) I keep thinking about how Arthur is consciously repressing her every second of every day just so that he can keep going.

And then John pushes, and asks, and asks again. And finally, after almost dying twice with this entity, after surviving time and time again, he thinks he can trust him. He thinks he can share his deepest secret, to pull open the wound he keeps stitching over to protect himself. How he risks feeling the grief he's suppressed for years to trust someone. I keep thinking how John seizes it and, because he is ancient and young and inexperienced, childlike in his tantrums and his fears of responsibility and consequence, he uses it as a weapon the moment he's backed into a corner. I keep thinking of how not only the trust is torn away from Arthur, but how his wound is stretched and torn, and not only does his guilt and grief come back, but it's like a tidal wave that he cannot suppress this time. He's opened that wound and John has pried it wider, and now Arthur can't shut it. He survives in those pits, but she is all he thinks of. He escapes those pits, and ("Goodbye, Faroe.") she is all he thinks of. He slits his throat and she's all he thinks of.

He enters at icy cabin (a small gurgle, a bundle of blankets in his arm, a warm hum rumbling in his chest as he lulls his whole World to sleep) and he thinks of her to keep going.

And then Yellow enters, a blank slate, a John before he was John, and the pain is too fresh. This is the thing that tortured him. This is the thing that starved him. This is the thing who asked who his daughter was, and when he told him, the thing called him a killer. John and Yellow and the King are all the same in that moment, and Arthur's too fucked up and traumatized to separate them tangibly, as much as he insists that he can. His hatred grows and grows, all from himself, until it bleeds into Yellow, and he remakes this entity in his image, in his self-pitying hatred.

So when Yellow finally calls him a monster (and Arthur knows, he's called himself that the moment he saw the water spill from the bathtub onto the tile below), Arthur holds it close to his chest, and becomes it.

arthur in a tunic

im so sane and so normal

just listened to intermezzo, im utterly confused, baffled, i literally had shivers and held my head in disbelief while going 😧 and variants WHILE ALSO giggling and kicking my feet

(spoiler under the cut)

KAYNE IS STILL SO SILLY AHAHAHAHA "i call him 'dark arthur'" OOOOOOHHHH I NOW NEED THE AU

him ready to torture the duo and everyone they love ?? while also can make johns so much worse ??? E.V.I.L. kinda want that dead dove ngl

AND THAT DEAL ????? OOOOOO NO TRUST NOW WE ARE BACK TO SQUARE 1 AGAIN DIVORCE ARC HERE WE GOOOOOOO

the call back to the choices arthur couldve made, ahh !! ive read it was between faroe, john and oscar so kudos to all the patrons for fighting in the trenches o7

ps.: im not a patron, so gotta ask: was it a choice? john saying yes to the new deal i mean,,, or harlan just decided that they havent argued about something in a hot sec and their relationship started to get better bc even if we look at the fact that arthur was mad that john didnt tell him about the deal, i feel like he would at least understand due to... well... kayne.

anw cant wait for the ✨drama✨ coming

how i think i will look like, when explaining the meaning behind arthurs mask

im low on sleep, high on caffeine

theyre in spain guys trust me. theyre in spain

in the honor of malevolent s4 ending: my moira skin💕

the speed i was doing the battlepass was insane, just so i can get this skin and dress her up as the kiy

the mask may not be white but the intent is there

when i was listening, i had to stop a bit, then go back and spotify jumped to part 1 end and the only thing saving me of pure embarrassment in front of my coworker is she not being in the room

BECAUSE

i was drinking when the first AND ONLY thing i hear is larson going "do you come..."

would love to say i almost died or that water was everywhere but im seasoned by dndads so there was only a bit of water in my mouth and i didnt swallow yet,,, but oh dear was my head red

technically im at work rn, but im popping in my earbuds soon and will turn into the most well dressed little guy with a sailor moon transformation scene the MOMENT i hit the play button

i just hopped off BG3 after the astarion confession scene (i told him he needs a friend, not a lover bc im romancing gale rn and with my tav it always made more sense of them being friends (with benefits))

the worms are worming so hard

anw gonna scream into the void now✌️

the thing is that ayesha (my tav and a pc i desperately want to play) have walked on a similar path but in a different way. okay its not SO similar but you get my point. they both desperately need someone they can trust and wont use them for whatever benefit. they are both lonely. they both need a *friend*.

and while yes, ayesha befriended all of them, i dont imagine it to be as deep as with astarion (will be). cant put a finger on it but for her it feels different. he is someone she can relate more so than the others and he feels *safe*. they are wastly different people (ayesha is a bubbly bimbo, who always wants to do the "right" thing) but they (will) deeply love each other - as friends.

i could write SO MUCH about them rn its insane honestly

on a bit more lighthearted and funnier note: ayesha never thought shes the leader of the group for waaaaayyy too long. probably its this scene where she *considers* it.

so yes, she slept with astarion for (almost) the same reason he did with her

if you read this far, thank you for coming to my ted talk about astarion and my tavs relationship dynamic wip and short analysis ive quickly written up, i will have to let this fester for a bit and then either write or make a comic about it bc damn...

im soooooo ready to make this a drinking game

Absolutely stole this from @/beabitmalevolent but here’s my bingo/tin foil hat theory board and I will happily elaborate on anything if I am asked

Anyways, the order worships Azathoth and I will eat my hat if it’s anything else. Larson was given a servitor and servitors are known as idiot flute players and they serve the idiot god Azathoth and of course rich haughty assholes would flock towards the eldritch demon king to grant their evil wishes. I rest my case.

it may be my good ol neurospicyness but NO HORROR could make my skin crawl like when arthur is eating

im so happy for you bbg, ravage those peaches or whatever but keep it mute thx💕

relistening malevolent for the first time is wild bc i cant stop giggling. im too used of john and arthur being this gay wet cat of duo,,, little gremlin voice in the mans head, bitching to watch a movie

now man is acting all high and mighty, cant wait for the humbling

I AM FUCKING CRYING JUST REMEMBERED THIS AND ITS ALSO THE NEW EP AHAHAHHAA

different context but im calling it

im in the middle of ep 28 and im bawling my eyes out, this is the only thing i can think of HELPSNANYN

"I love Malevolent for the plot"

The plot: [45 minutes of Arthur whimpering]

Finally organized the Arthur injury/incident chart into something actually presentable! Red are for things that would definitely leave scars or other noticeable evidence, orange are too unspecified to say but could have left notable marks. [Image ID in Alt]