#other than me just being a nerd
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idk about y’all but im v excited for the fic exchange <3 the person i got is def one of the people i was like ‘oh id be really happy to get them or vice versa’
#idk why my first thought was a take on midsummers nights dream#other than me just being a nerd#but im cooking
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I never wrote about winning the cosplay contest at STSF (lol wild), but here's the prize certificate:
On the one hand, I (almost didn't enter and) didn't think I was going to win, but on the other hand, they kept talking about a cash prize. And ok, cash prizes have weird legal issues or whatever, but this certificate is bound only to the Creation merch tables, where they sell t-shirts and bags with AI art on them. I asked what I could use it for and the lady said "maybe" I could put it towards a photo op, but it also says no tickets, so that's still up in the air.
That night, Eugene Cordero was hanging out with us at the afterparty (lol hey Rutherford (!!!???) you're super chill) and someone mentioned I'd won the contest/I probably said something about my $500 worthless prize. So he signed it to make it worth "less"
ANYWAY, all this to say
If I can use it towards a photo op (doubtful), and there is a group Voyager cast shot (cause hello expensive and I am, how you say, not formally employed), I think it'd be hilarious to do Threshold mutant Tom Paris
It seems highly doubtful, but it's a thought that at least keeps me quite amused
#still undecided if partially transformed or fully#either way#in my mind it is the height of hilarity#but I high key doubt they'll let me put it towards a photo op#if not I'm just gonna have actors keep signing it at creation events#I am amused at the prospect#like confused and less than thrilled at the prize lets be honest#cause I don't want $500 of AI art shirts when they can't even pay an artist#and the ones that don't sell are probably going to the Atacama desert anyway#I probably could've used $500 actual dollar bucks#especially when the guy on stage keeps repeating cash prize#going to actually make the other cosplay post but this thought occurred to me#also maybe need to learn to keep my mouth shut cause was vocally criticizing the prize in earshot of creation employees lolol#there's the autism#cosplay updates#like I didn't do it for the prize I genuinely had a great time making and wearing the costume and just cosplaying in general#and I liked being on stage (lol I love public speaking) but the prize was like... ok#meanwhile my ex getting married and people in my life being full adults with responsibilities and I'm over here like#I'm unemployed and played dress up for a niche nerd ref from 30 years ago and now I have $500 I can't really use anywhere#melts into oblivion#every day is threshold day
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#still wild to me that i am in a relationship#itll be 3 months next week and i am obsessed with him than ever#i never couldve imagined itd actually be like this but it is literally everything i ever wanted#hes sooooo kind#and sweet and i could gush about him all day long#i mentioned in front of two of his friends how im planning to buy a ps5 in the next couple months bc i only have Nintendo consoles#and i wanna play other games#and his two friends where like well why arent you getting a gaming pc?????#important note here: they all are gaming nerds and they are all like IT guys incl my boyfriend#and i explained that its just the easiest way and that im not really a pc gamer#(but important note here is that my bf has hi gaming pc set up on his tv and plays with a controller exclusively and i do vibe with that)#and then all 3 basically were like we will literally build you a gaming pc ourselves so you dont buy a ps5!!!!#that was 2 days ago.#yesterday my boyfriend showed me his research into possible gaming pc set ups for me that would be within a certain budget#while still being definitely more than good enough#and he explained some things to me and asked my opinions#and now im sat here like ok 🥺#i think ill let my boyfriend build me a gaming pc#mind you i wasnt planing on getting a ps5 before fall the earliest bc im planning on moving soon and money and all that#but hes already planning and gathering ideas#while still understanding why i initially wanted a ps5 (less money and i have no idea about gaming pc set ups) and leaving it fully up to me#i am also now at exactly 100 hours into elden ring with him as my backseater#which means end game shit#i am currently switching between trying to win against Malenia Mogh lord of blood and radagon#its........ going#i maxed out my number of flasks and charges?? is that what its called#and i got my +10 staved and sword/catana#its still super fun but hoh boy#the rush of adrenaline when i finally beat godfrey and my boyfriend was so hapoy for me too it was honestly super fucking adorable#personal
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some of you never grew up in a small conservative town as a (gay) nerd that was bullied, harassed, and excluded for years on end for not fitting in and for visibly and enthusiastically liking geek things—geek things that then branded you a satanist in everyone's eyes and as something Other, Lesser, and Undoubtedly Unworthy of Basic Human Decency even though you were literally just an actual child with harmless interests and not a satanist or an evil disgusting subhuman thing, and it shows.
you cannot apply modern views and beliefs to a show that is set in the eighties, especially not when it's set in conservative midwest eighties which is a whole other beast. being a socially awkward and nonconforming geek is something that people STILL get bullied for if you don't do it in a way that the majority deems "acceptable", especially if you live in a conservative, religious area.
your experiences are not universal and your inability to relate to a certain motif or story does not make it "lesser" or "bad writing."
#stranger things#mike wheeler#<- tagging and then disappearing into the mist again bc i don't like it here lol.#girls when they love stranger things because they finally see characters just like them with the same exact experiences written with such#care and respect for those that have been Deemed Other but people who have not had those experiences refuse to believe that they're#realistic and STILL happen to people bc if they're fortunate to have not gone through that then clearly that means that it doesn't exist#and if it does then it's not Traumatic Enough or a good enough plot to cause such inner turmoil in the characters who experience that#💥🛼#i got bullied for being a nerd in the 2000s and 2010s. you can absolutely get bullied for being a nerd and being a nerd is enough reason#for social exile in some places. when dustin said that no one was nice to him or mike? when lucas said that girls laughed at them? and it's#all because they're deemed freaks and satanists for liking fantasy things? that's Real and it doesn't hurt any less just because you think#it's not a good enough reason to bully someone.#i was called a satanist to my face by adults. people acted like i was some Creature or whatever just because i liked fiction and wasn't#interested in what the majority was interested in and wore dark clothing sometimes. like.. hello. school shooter jokes? the way#that neurodivergent people get treated when they're visibly ''different'' and enjoy things passionately? the way that liking star wars was#a thing to ridicule until it suddenly became Acceptable and Popular to like? i feel like i'm living in a different reality than so many#people here with the way that they talk about certain things in this show. and don't even get me started on the way people approached#the angela and el situation....#maybe just be glad that these things did not happen to you and stop acting like it's lesser or a bad story bc of that? just a thought.
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Lovely Ari,
What do you think of this dynamic?
Prissy, prickly, grumpy Reader x Suguru? Bonus points if Reader is a little nerd who speaks like a Thesaurus and quotes Sartre without realising it.
AMAZING PERFECT INCREDIBLE LITERALLY UNBEATABLE TBH???????????? anon i am so so SO weak for this dynamic…… when it comes to sugu i think my favorite readers for him are either silly or grumpy :33 i just think it’d be so cute!! and reader being a little nerd is also so sweet…..
i genuinely think suguru would find it so endearing. it’d definitely be a slowburn but i think that’s how he prefers it anyway!! and he’s nothing if not a man who enjoys a good challenge 😤 so at first i think he’d just be really sweet and patient with a grumpy little reader, hoping they’ll eventually warm up to him… the process is enjoyable for him.
buuuuut once he falls for them….. and once they’re in a relationship……. he somehow gets even sweeter. he’d be so perfect for this kind of reader bc again!! he’s just so so patient :((( even if you get all hissy and prickly he just gives you a sweet smile and maybe some space. or a kiss to throw you off <33 i picture all grumpy readers as easily flustered tbh so he would just thrive off of teasing you…. thinks it’s so cute when you get all embarrassed. T_T he’s perfect!! sugu would make a grumpy reader feel so safe and comfortable… to the point where they aren’t nearly as hissy around him as they are with others. and that would just be.. suguru’s favorite thing ever??? the idea of being your safe space. the only person who can calm you down. i think he wants to be that so badly!! it makes him feel so cherished :33
.. also tbh . i think…. cult leader!geto would eat this up……….. like any kind of sugu would love it but i picture him specifically as unbelievably smitten and endlessly patient and maybe a bit of a masochist so it’s just really funny to me. imagine reader being all >:c bc he had to cancel their date to do Cult Things and he’s behind them like ^_^ …. apologizing and stuff but he just thinks you’re so cute. the Cutest. worships the ground you walk on. doesn’t mind if you curse him out bc he knows you’ll soften up eventually and that melts his heart down to the marrow. he loves it when you’re grumpy and a little mean and he loves it even more when you suddenly get shy and crave his attention. (he makes me feel ill actually)
#TY FOR THIS ANON !!#sugu loves his silly little readers and his grumpy little readers <333#i need him so badddd hhhhh :(((#aaa i didn’t talk abt the nerd thing much but!! sugu would be soooo endeared by that too.#he just loves everything abt u tbh#but yeahhh cult leader!geto is another creature entirely i just had to mention him 😭#he’s the type to get jealous when you chew someone other than him out#freak. weirdo. (i love him so bad)#no but he would also love the softness of it all :3 being ur safe space!!#i have a fic abt this concept kind of and i have both a sequel and a prequel planned .. eventually probably … maybe …..#anyway it just means a lot to me!! lovee this concept so dearly <33#ask tag ✩
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if you think that someone complaining about the (very real) oppression of trans men must hate trans women that says a lot more about your own beliefs than it does the person you're accusing
#nerd alert#'transandrophobia truthers are all transmisogynists!' baby are u a hologram bc ur projecting sooo hard rn#trans men who talk about the unique oppression that we face for being trans men are taking literally nothing away from the conversation#about how trans women face unique oppression for being trans women. both things can and do exist#in other words nice dichotomy idiot now what lies outside of it#thats 2 different fucking things#sorry for the discoursey posts btw i am just so angry#trans infighting is so goddamn pointless and regressive it makes me so mad#we are more alike than different! we should be united in this!! one experience does not negate the other!!!#why do so many people think just because they havent experienced something that it must not exists#(a statement that could be applied to any number of societal oppressions that ppl dont believe happens)
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guys
guys it’s back
we’re fucking back baby
#dreamy talks#dreamy's random thoughts#midnight talks with dreamy#weird dreamy#me being a nerd#i’m a total nerd when it comes to gravity falls#but you have no idea how happy this makes me#like no ppl ik irl know gravity falls#and to see it rise up on tumblr is just so#it makes me so giddy#happy dreamy#hyperfixation#gravity falls#i live laugh love gravity falls#i can rant about it for literally HOURS#i contain more knowledge about this series than with any other thing i have ever heard of#including fnaf. there is still more to learn about fnaf for me. but with gravity falls#i’ve MASTERED this subject#my dad calls me a nerd#but it’s fine i know im a nerd#this series encouraged my conspiracy-theory-brain at an early age#and i’m quite grateful for it actually#it’s come in handy a few times#now i’m gonna go crack codes in the Journal 3#laterz#hyperfixation rant#tag rant
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guess what movie i just watched ;)
(don't look too much in the tags i'm just screaming about rottmnt)
#i love rotmnt#it was my previous hyperfix b4 monkie kid#i love how round mikey is#and like how the brothers interact#and the ANIMATION#oof dont get me started#like ralph is so much bigger than his brothers but is such a teddy bear makes me cry#and leo being both the 'best' and the 'worst' of the ninja skills - in that he's hard to train bc it kind of...comes easy-ish?#like he doesn't want to train bc he wants to do other shit just reads as gifted child syndrome to me tbh#and donnie being a nerd no matter what but also still 90% of his inventions are for his brothers/family#mikey allowed to be the little brother and have fun and his older brothers protecting that#rotmnt#casey jones#casey jones can be so family shaped#thats my mom!#michelangelo#rottmnt leo#rottmnt#rottmnt movie#rottmnt mikey#rottmnt donnie#rottmnt raph#rottmnt casey jones#rottmnt april#rottmnt michelangelo#rottmnt donatello#rottmnt raphael#rottmnt leonardo#rottmnt april o'neil#i cant believe they put that fucking leo in the void scene in the fucking trailer
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My parents are angry. They lose their temper quickly and get ahold of it just as fast. They’re not violent—not towards people, anyway.
Quick bouts of rage come and go so fast it gives me whiplash. My mom will grit her teeth in an angry burst and apologize in the same breath. My dad slams cabinets and swears like a sailor and then turns and says “sweetie?” like nothing is wrong within seconds.
But the apology is said like a chore, the endearment sounds like a threat. I know that they’re not, because I know my parents. I know their mannerisms, I’ve memorized their moods. I can read them as easily as myself.
Those kinds of things are characteristics displayed in abused characters, and I wonder what it says about me that I know my life is good but I still show them. I know they’re not perfect, because nobody is; sometimes I despair over what they could have done better and how much more I’d love myself if they had. But despite that, they don’t hurt me. There’s no malice, and they don’t even realize when I’m in pain.
And yet I fear them. Fear doesn’t come from violence. I know that. But they’re not manipulative, they’re not unloving, they’re not malicious. They love me, and they tell me. Not just when they want something, just when they see me. We’re very big on physical affection, and we talk freely. I roll my eyes and tell them to shut up and they laugh.
And yet I fear them.
My dad snaps and swears loudly about how my mother is a pain. He never threatens me. I don’t think he even processes that he’s saying this to his teenage daughter; he’s venting. And there’s nothing wrong with that that I can think of. Expressing your emotions freely is healthy. But I say thank you more than I would, I don’t talk as much, I don’t crack as many jokes. I stay quiet and talk when I need to. I do what I’m told. I’m scared. I don’t know if I’m scared of hurting him or of him hurting me.
My mom ignores me when she’s doing something, and when I repeat a clarifying question she tells me I need to leave her alone so she can do it. But other times she’s focusing and I leave her alone and she asks if I’m going to help her or not, or if I’m going to just stand there? Sure, the situations are different, but I don’t know what makes one something I should help with or ignore. And if I try to ask, like sometimes do, she says I’m being silly and I should know. I stay quiet and do nothing so I’m not just goofing off; I sit there and watch her in case she tries to ask me something, and I try not to tense. I’m scared.
I don’t know if this is normal or bad. I never had chores; is that neglect or lenience? I don’t know how to clean or do laundry or cook; is that a failure on their part or on mine? Sometimes I’m asked questions in school about where I live and I know my address but I know it like something I’ve memorized, not the actual meanings of the letters and numbers of the streets and where they are and what’s next to them. Is that because I was never taught or because I never paid attention?
Parents aren’t meant to just hold their child through every single life experience. I know that. Sometimes kids are just lazy and it’s their own fault for not trying. But I don’t know which it is. I don’t know if I’m in the wrong or they are. Am I just playing the victim or should they have done better? I know that in the past few years I’ve rejected all attempts by them to do anything, because of depression. Am I responsible for what I’ve missed out on because of it? Am I meant to fix it now? I’m better, but not healed. I still need help, but I’m at an age where I’m meant to be independent. But I can’t. I just can’t.
I love my parents, but I resent them. Am I wrong for resenting them? Do I have nothing to complain about? Am I just being dramatic? I haven’t spoken with them about any of this because I’m scared; is it my own fault I haven’t tried to confront them? When things don’t improve should I blame myself for not pursuing change?
It feels like my mother holds my hand through everything I do. Is that my fault for not being more independent? Is it hers for being too indulgent? Is it both of ours? How does it get fixed if neither of us are going to change? I’m too scared to take any independence because it feels like there’s too much and I feel like I’m constantly on the brink of collapsing, but she’s too complacent.
She’s always complacent. I ask her for things and she promises them so I stop asking and then it never happens and I complain and she says that I stopped asking but she promised but never does it. She doesn’t do anything. Nothing ever changes. My father barely knows what goes on in my personal life.
But they are good parents. They don’t do anything wrong. But I’ve just said things they do wrong. But they mean well, so how can I blame them? I say nothing, so aren’t I just complacent? But I’m scared. Am I allowed to be scared? To do nothing because of fear?
A lot of my friends have actual serious parental issues. Several of them have dead parents. How can I complain about my problems when they have so many actual, active problems? I have a hard enough time opening up about actual problems I deal with that are serious but this one is so mundane and might not even be a problem at all. I can ignore it if I don’t think about it but when I do think about it I want to cry because I hate it so so much.
I started this wanting to make a point about how anger doesn’t have to be violent to hurt someone, but now I’m just venting.
Whenever I take on a new responsibility or activity or anything, it takes over everything. I stress about it all the time, I double think how I do it and what I’m supposed to do and excuses I have for why I did it this specific way if someone asks and how I’m going to explain every single little action and it’s so exhausting. How can I expect myself to deal with the processes my mom does for me when I’m barely holding on with the things I do now? I double think everything. I think I’m doing better but I feel like I’m inching forward.
I don’t bring up suspicions about having autism with my psychiatrist because I’m scared of being wrong or being right or how my parents or cousins or aunts or anybody will react if it’s true or if it’s not true and they found out I thought it was and every single possible change is so exhausting to even think about.
I tell my mom I want to go home while we’re sitting on the couch in the apartment that they’ve lived in since before I was born. I am home, but I don’t feel like it. I never do. I want to be safe, I want to stop thinking, I want to not stress, but it’s so ingrained in how I live and act that I don’t even notice it until I hyper focus on my life and what happens so much it hurts.
She tells me she hates it when I say that. We are home. I can only tell her I want to go home when we aren’t there because that’s the only time she’ll comfort me. “I hate when you say that. We are home. What do you even mean? Stop saying that. It’s annoying. I hate it. I hate it.”
She knows I’m depressed and I have anxiety. I have meds now, and it helps. But sometimes I relapse and I fall into this pit of pain and depression and I can’t tell her, I can’t, because I know that she thinks that I’m better now, I’m good, I can deal with it, because the problem is the chemicals in my mind and the meds help with that. But it’s not just that. I hate my life, I hate everything, I hate myself, I hate her. But I love her. That would hurt her. She would cry. I hate it when my mother cries.
I’m sitting in a rental car crying because I’m depressed and my father is right in front of me. He hasn’t noticed and I doubt he will. When we pick up my mother she might notice my dried tears, and I’ll tell her it’s a sad fanfiction. She’ll believe me. They both will.
I want to go home.
#I don’t feel entirely comfortable posting thiz#but I’m going to anyway#because sometimes you just need to get your emotions out there#this reads like poetry in some parts and just venting in others#tw: depression#tw: vent#venting#vent post#parents#I hate that this half feels like a writing piece#can I only express myself in poetry and in writing? am I nothing more than feelings to be recorded in pretty words?#I don’t like being candid with my feelings because it’s easier to phrase it artistically#my emotions are only valid if they sound nice on paper#my dad keeps pointing out things as he drives#I think he just had a child to have someone to tell things (bc he’s such a nerd /aff)#which is sweet but also not#but no reason for existing will ever feel good#because ultimately it all boils down to they wanted me to fulfill something for them#and I just want to live for me#times like this Catholicism really appeals to me on its base level#because they say God created us because he loved us and wanted us to live. so it’s right to live for me#just for me#but the idea of someone (God or not) being so selfless in their creation of a person or in general is so unrealistic#tw: long post
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absolutely unreasonable over this coworker that i rlly like rn. thank god i don't like men or i would have fucking Lost it by now! as it is i don't even know what has me so dkfjghsdf about him i'm just sitting there with my head in my hands going "he's so normal about trans people..."
#he's a like. fr nerd guy which i don't know if i have a value judgment for but! it gets me points cause i can pull out nerd shit too#thought he was Significantly older than me but he is only four years older than me and not the estimated six. so it's not that bad#once i'm twenty in like three months it really will not be that weird for me to be friends with people in their twenties.#YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS. HE'S NOT NERDY HE'S GEEKY. DIFFERENT VIBE BUT DEFINITELY MORE LIKE ME#like. ordered a working spiderman mask online but also likes my alt radio station. y'know#and he wants to be my friend too!!! we talk nd have similar senses of humor#and he says hi + bye to me every time he sees me AND says my name every time which i think is a like. positive sign#when people take the time to say 'hi [name]!' i think that's a like. 'i'm invested in being friendly with you' thing#AND AGAIN!!! HEAD IN MY HANDS!!!! HE'S SO NORMAL ABOUT TRANS PEOPLE!!!!!!#went 'wow. it's the ignorance' when one of the kids asked about my dead name (kid obviously did not know what being trans entailed)#and when i went 'i mean adults ask me that too' he went 'what??? fr??? people are so uneducated :/' like a little disgusted ab it#which. dude. what a fucking world. so normal about trans people that like. not being normal about trans people is a foreign concept#not EVEN transphobia just not being educated on what's decent to ask a trans person!!! NOBODY knows that stuff!!!!#except for skye my best friend skye apparently. this dude is so fucking normal about trans people#laughs at my jokes about being trans!!! consistently!!!!! is rlly cool about it!!!!!!!#made a joke about using my dual citizenship to go check on the girls who were taking a really long time in the bathroom#and he found it as funny as i did and like. that's a kind of joke u'd usually have to share with other trans/queer people... idk...#would also make that joke with my coworker who is gay. but he's also really chill about me being trans haha#anywayyyyyy i don't know if he's queer or anything (strikes me as straight) but it's. god. world-changing#AND HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND. WHO HE TALKS ABOUT A NORMAL AMOUNT. VERY POSITIVE THING#so i don't have to worry about things being weird at all :D#and he knows for sure i'm 19 and is chill about it. which. i was the only one making that a big deal but it's a relief all the same haha#asked how old i was (talking about graduating from college in a year nd a half) and gave me a FIST BUMP when i told him.#A FIST BUMP. WHO DOES THAT.#straight people. that's who. guys who are just guys.#guys who make me go 'oh so i DO want guy friends who are my friends in a 'we're both guys' way. those other guys just suck'#which i don't really want but ALSO. he's normal about trans people! so he recognizes me as a guy no matter what i look/sound like!!#my like. supervisor's supervisor made a joke about him being childish and like. girl.#idc frankly that's skye my best friend skye you can't tell me shit about him we listened to the radio while driving the kids to the beach#valentine notes
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I love second hand book shops, I got to them frequently and always leave with Something and have a good time just peakin around
But i gotta say
It's one of the Worst spots for me in terms of imposter syndrome
I feel like everyone's uneasey with my presence as though i'm a stranger who just stumbled into their inner sanctum and they're.. they're gunna let me stay but they're gunna be weirded out the whole time and breath a sigh of relief when the Strange Unwelcome Freak Leaves
It also happens at record shops and sometimes at small antique shops or cons+festivals
Just this immediate foreboding of being Angrily Tolerated in a Space I Don't Belong
#monster noises#it's Incalculably stupid because 1) it's a store. anyone can go in there.#and 2) in all those locations... I do beling there!!!!!!!! not even in the sense of point 1 where it's a retail location but like!!!!#Book shops Record shops Antique malls Cons... are all like super 100% right up my alley nerd shit these Should be like '''''my people'''''''#which is i think a strong contributing factor to this pervasive feeling like#there's an underlying current of not just being in there to Shop but that i want the other people there to Like Me? I guess?#in our limited interaction?#i want them to see that i'm One Of Them and it makes me nervous#because whenever i am trying to be a Part of something i Immediately feel like some kind of isolated hollow fraud#like i'm worried that i not only Look like a poser#but that i Am#secretly#a Poser#so secretly that I don't even relaiE i'm a poser#it probably doesn't help that i also always have The most off-kilter interactions with the staff in these scenerios#it's never anything truly embarassing#but it's always like i try to be as nice as possible but their reaction is never what i expect#and it throws me off#it's a hard thing to pin down in words but like.. it feels like they are more than anything just Waiting for me to leave#if not from the get-go then from the moment i open my mouth to answer a question#and like idk !!! i'm trying so hard to be open and friendly and not just use canned response but also not be Too weird or too loud#and be engaged in conversation but it never works!#it's like i ooze some deeply unpleasant vibe and it turns everyone off me immediately when i enter their space#i'll see other customers having lovely conversations with staff and stuff and then when it's me it's like Cold#truly it does nothing for my self esteem#not everyone has yo or is going to like me but i really don't think it's too big an ask to not be scrutinized by store staff Constantly ;<;
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ok but the thing is that "hurt" is an adjective, verb, and noun. so the linguistic poeticism is still there, albeit in a slightly different way. yes, "hurt" as a description of a person's state holds true across tenses because it is indeed an adjective, but the fact remains that it's a lexicologically interesting word! personally, what i find really neat is that "hurt" is both an intransitive verb used for the person being wounded and a transitive verb for the act of wounding someone. it's an intriguing concept to think of pain as something that draws connections between people. something that weaves together victim and perpetrator in some inseparable way. that you can't hurt someone without it changing you as well. idk what exactly that says about pain as a human experience, and it's a lot of using imagination and metaphor to extract and extend meaning from language, but it's still fascinating!
#also hot take the culture of dunking on people for mistakes for the sake of likes or reblogs is a toxic part of this website#and the whole internet in general tbh#like#of course people make mistakes. not everyone has spent hours researching linguistics.#that doesn't make them stupid#your knowledgeability of grammar doesn't make you intellectually superior#maybe your pretentiousness about it actually just makes you unkind#just a thought#op was just excited about the idea that even words capture the lasting nature of pain#you don't need to belittle them and stomp on their joy just because they made a syntactical error#you can tell people they're mistaken without being a dick about it#and i LOVE linguistics and connecting with other language nerds getting overly excited about the magic of words#but having that as an interest doesn't make me inherently better than other people?#i'm not god's prettiest little princess just because i get excited about lexicology more than the average person#and all of this would still be true even if “hurt” wasn't a cool multipurpose word!!#just. people should be able to not know everything about a topic and not be ridiculed for it#horribly cheesy middle school posters were RIGHT bullying isn't as cool as you think it is#ok this post about yay words has turned into an overarching critique of the lack of human empathy and grace#time for me to shut up#linguistics#languages#language stuff#lingblr
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eddie bracken as orville wingait in summer stock (1950)
#don't get it wrong abigail whacking orville upside the head is during their comedy backstage 5 sec to Resolution ending rush#literal last minute conclusion crunch in unsurprising formatting lol; i chose a more peaceful gif to end on. note the prior one's [feet Up]#i hope this illustrates There Is Much Material. more clips than this & truly as good or better a role as any others to choose from here#summer stock#conveniently it's apparently wingait in the movie but via that casting news this (2023) role is wingate#tcm fancam life...we've all been there. akd talking abt meet me in st. louis like maybe i should rewatch lol. have to muddle through someho#anyways there's for sure room to like grab a little thread of plot and enhance it in this story. e.g. orville & abigail could talk Thrice#their B-plot / more idiosyncratic romance there is still >>>>>> the main JUDY & GENE one unsurprisingly even w/o a third convo lol#whoops the main guy is an asshole. judy/jane learns she loves show business so just kinda may as well be in love w/the show guy ig#like girl you don't have to be...but ofc already although her & orville's dynamic is pleasant enough she seems somewhat disinterested#while fascinatingly for our purposes though orville is framed a bit like [this NERD] he can't be too dunked on b/c [romantic B-plot]#meanwhile abigail's Undeserving Of Gene/Joe (she is but she's too good for him) qualities being just that she's been too Indulged so like#in her lack of protestant ethic farm work she's so conceited & sensitive that she wants to rest & not be yelled at???#smash cut to for real judy/jane on Opening Night like asking tentatively like oh romantic interest you're Not gonna yell at me..??#but she's been Hard Working so she will tolerate the physical AND emotional demands. but she's also more Talented than abigail#so joe need not be mean to her Anyways like. okay wild maybe we could rework that but congrats abigail for NOT ending up w/him fr#meanwhile orville's arc (joe has none to speak of save realizing he wants to make out w/this other woman now) is as clear as anyone's#extricate himself from otherwise only getting to be an extension of his father who is generally interfering / directing / demeaning him als#another ''well i don't know about that'' element in that when orville Does tell him to cut that out his dad actually just rolls with that#and becomes more amicable lol like well that does work out & it's unsurprisingly like cmon orv you can't LET him treat you like that...#and if you didn't? he'd just be like ''oh haha okay''...like is abigail supposed to be ''right'' abt uhh romance there but yet she's just#too sensitive to handle Tell Don't Ask / No Apologies? maybe; but they both end up getting to Not Stand For It lol. i think that that would#ofc still be fun to develop. whereas w/joe it's like uh maybe make him Not a huge asshole in the end / judy p much in love w/Showbiz....#abigail & orville out here decidedly Not About Nonsense....but still a bit zany ig such that after the [imagine the foley] hit: it's good#like i'm sure it's ''orville's still enough of a NERD to be chill w/that'' & ''abigail's still DIFFICULT enough to put her foot down''#['50 gender politics] we all know that couple whose flaws & idiosyncrasies allow them to Apologize & Ask & use their inside voices#and be all upset if someone's trying to demean them. unlike True Romance of the man who won't bully his wife if she earns it :')#joe could instead uhh be a harried director who's actually Wrong for being a dick to his gf (if we even include that) w/the various sources#of pressure to make a show Work but there's all this req'd spontaneity / flexibility anyways & he learns that even if he's clenching throug#it he can Not take it out on other people / Make it succeed by Making ppl do anything. & also jane reminds him of Passion for this.
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Ghaleon, scream-whispering and turning several worrying shades of red: DO THOSE LOOK LIKE TEENAGERS TO YOU????
Xenobia, nonplussed: I am 200 to 400 years old, everyone looks like a "teened ager" to me.
Ghaleon, ignoring her, struggling to unlock dungeon cell quickly: I am so sorry, oh god. Shit. I am so, so fucking sorry for-for the inconvenience. Oh. My god.
FANTASY ABBA, exit cell: It's cool.
Xenobia, rambling: What even is a teenager?? We don't have those in the wastes. "14ish to 19ish"??? That's a baby, that is an infant child.
Ghaleon, literally dying: Is there anything I can do to make it up to you two? Drinks? Are you hungry?? Can I give you a ride home???
FANTASY ABBA: No, we're cool.
Xenobia, lecturing: Did you mean "young adult"? Because the Vile Tribe equivalent would be 70 to 125 years, approximately. You have got to stop using all these human terms or this alliance is going to fall to pieces, Ghaleon.
FANTASY ABBA: So, like, we're cool to go?
Ghaleon, last shred of dignity dying dying dying: YEP. (cough) Uh, yes! Absolutely! Y-you're cool--t to go!!
(Exit: FANTASY ABBA)
(Dejected, distraught, uncool slump: Ghaleon)
(Exit attempt: Luna)
Ghaleon: NOT YOU. >:(
Luna: >:(
Xenobia: The vibe, as we say in the wastes, is in shambles.
~it's over!~
#my life would be so much easier if i didn't envision every silly idea in comic form lol#yes i headcanon xenobia as being way older than ghaleon haha#and being insufferable about it#xenobia = 350#phacia = 300#royce is baby = 250#ghaleon canonically around 153 by sssc#i should make a random mazoku headcanons post really but like#what's the point of having demi-imortal characters if you're not gonna have them live hundreds to thousands of years :B#phacia theoretically lived just up to eb/800-1000 years post-tss#and was only barely middle-aged when she died#so idk#i don't really have a point there#other than ghaleon is probably only just barely an adult as far as other mazoku are concerned#stress and hanging around humans and beastfolk his entire life has aged him#i just think it's funny to imagine this barely drinking-legal age nerd acting like he's having a midlife crisis#wait to be fair that was also me at 21. shit.#file under: comic scripting
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also ykw
after i do my next portfolio update, i'm just.....sending my resume and portfolio cold to TA
their apparel design work is FUGLY, and they need someone who knows print production bcuz literally no one is color separating their stuff and they're using a d2g printer which is sooooo inconsistent (and their sizing is inconsistent bcuz they're using multiple print-as-you-go d2g printers)
also if u ever get the rose merch and it has an ugly vinegary smell it's cause of the inks used for those direct to garment printers.....and the stuff they do a lot of it can be done with bulk screenprint for cheaper lol??? idk what they're doing. like if they're selling hundreds of shirts, printing on white, with only black ink, it's absolutely cheaper to burn screens rather than have the d2g printer
#personal#guyyyssssssss GUYS I LOVE U but u need someone new lol#ily SOOOO MUCH but like........... u need me <3#ffs i have only like 2 yrs apparel experience and i know more than whatever they're using on their graphic design team#like their design team feel like........... some guy who has a dropship etsy business LMAO#i think i may just be insane about print quality tho#ALSO somehow over 2 yrs i got pushed into this weird ass hybrid role#where i do automation and art and also factory tours#i go on factory tours w/ the ppl with decades experience and i'm like ????? WTF did i do to get here?#i mean like........ the scouting out factory tours like the it's upper management and two designers/artists#and i'm one of the artists and i'm like WHY TF AM I HERE????#(my manager asks me about color match and pantone match and CSI color matches which is why i'm there#cuz i can look at a color printed and be like 'yeah it's like 3% too much cyan in this blue for the match' cuz with the brands#i work on....color match is incredibly important....like more so than for other art...plus he tends to have me there for#like cs/tech integration issues cause i can translate from nerd to artist very easily and from nerd/artist to blue collar screenprint#factory guy language too LOL while looking 12 and being a tiny girl LOOLOLOOLOOL like i'm around this big burly screenprint dudes)
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heheh friends :)
#no seriously nothing like spending time and hanging out w friends alskdjfalskjh i feel so much joy#we were sending one of the other students off cuz he completed all his training and stuff so big celebration#it was a lot of fun honestly!! i really wanted to do a little get together so we could all just hang out#we also got ice cream after ;; v;; (they had weird flavors!!!! habby)#it was a nice time i guess i just needed to stop being a hermit in my depression LAKSJDAFLKSFH#friends tag#depression: nooooo you cant hang out w friends youre gonna be a bother!!!!! stooooop#today: :)#snow speaks#anyways its been a good night#except now i realize im like 20 x more of a nerd than i thought before#literally everyone else slacked off for this rotation and im out here stressing and anxious like T _ T yall couldve told me i couldve been#in on it alksdjfhalskjh yall....#and now. i have to make myself study. or attempt to#asdlafkjsdh basically! ride the high#but as soon as the shower happens im going nightnight#fuck around and play honkai some more ig LMAO
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