#but ill be damned if i let any of my characters be *just* a silly guy that is fucking obnoxious
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Cap's got a new voice claim! feat. a tiny bit of Sparrows n her's unchanged vc because 1. it's cute to hear them together and 2. I snorted. The vibes are so different
[songs: So Familiar by Jean Castel and Driving Myself Home by Rose Betts]
#rw#oc tag#oc: caper of euros#oc: three sparrows#philosophy sessions au#ramble time. kai ninyago as Capie of Rossie wasn't Bad but i've been working on him lately- like looking into his faults their causes their#-evolution and what role he's supposed to play beyond Row's death (esp. in Preacher's life (Euros manages to be terrifying for the kid))#n i came to the conclusion that he didn't sound Sharp enough. and bratty but like in a teenager boy band kind of way. oh he'd hate that-#-kinda music </3 fuckin european posh kid#the ''tragedy'' of 'Ros on here is that back when i was answerin questions with the chars 'Ros n 'Row were constantly together and that-#-didn't allow them to really show who they are because they bring out the best in each other. Sparrows is braver with him having her back-#-and he's not a rude fucker (one of the reasons i turned off asks is cuz i figured they weren't actually helpful. only stressed me out n-#-as result the world/character building became lackluster)#Euros is still a silly guy who's scared to hurt someone/thing physically! (his inspos are kai ninyago s0kka and kuzc0 so)#but ill be damned if i let any of my characters be *just* a silly guy that is fucking obnoxious#each of these fuckers is a psychological experiment. also sick shit: new 'Ros vc is french apparently :)#he can sing Zephyr songs in Her Tongue™... get it anime chin boy get that multilinguality
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Now that you’ve watched Animal room, maybe a Doug x Reader? maybe public sex or creampie ?
⋆౨ৎ˚ A real animal (Doug Van Housen x fem!reader)
author notes: hey love! so here it is, thank you for the request, it was interesting to write about this character :) although I dont really know how well it turned out, i still doubt it tbh, im so sorry if it sucks, tho i tried harddd….in any case, ill be glad to receive new requests for this character
tags: nsfw, smut, vaginal sex, fingering, thigh fucking, rough sex, possessiveness, fingers sucking, spanking, hair pulling, public sex, unprotected sex, creampie, dubcon, a little praise, degrading, mean!Doug
Doug kisses you like it's the end of the fucking world. He's groaning into your mouth, and his huge hands aren't hugging you at all, no, they're squeezing you as if he intentionally wants to break your bones. To break you not only as a person, but also as a body. Your bones, your skin, every hair on your body, every cell in you should belong to him. Doug Van Housen hates and loves you, and his every action is imbued with this poisonous and caustic mixture of madness. You seem to like that you are tightly pressed between a cold wall and his hot body, but at the same time you're afraid of what comes out of his mouth, you knew that he was far from a sweet and gentle person, you knew what you were going for, according to Doug himself.
“My fucking slut,” he growls into your neck and makes forward movements, rubbing against you. There's a lump in your throat and blood froze in your veins, you didn't expect that you'd be fucked right in this corridor, right fucking now. You wanted to invite him to your place, well . . . to watch a movie first, and then lie down and cuddle. But don't you know Doug? It's just not about him. If you dream of such an affair, then why are you dating someone as him? Doug's madly amused by you. Are you really that silly? “I'm gonna ruin you.”
“Just wait—” you can't stay still, putting your dignity at such risk, damn it. You cling to his shoulders and look into his eyes, trying to find at least some echoes of common sense. However does it make sense to look for it in a man like Doug? “Fuck, Doug, enough!”
Looking at your desperate plea, amusement flickers across his eyes. The hallway filled with the echo of your words as he pulls away slightly, raising his eyebrows. He laughs. “Someone is too cocky. Don't worry, I'll fuck this arrogance out of you. Or what? You don't like me anymore?” Doug grasps you by your hips tightly, slowly grinding into you as he nips softly at your neck. “You must have a fucking adrenaline rush, baby. I don't think you'll be as brave in a few minutes.”
“Uggh—” you groan almost in pain as he bites on your skin. “Can we at least do this at home?” you try to keep your voice quite, but Doug doesn't give a fuck so he makes a damn loud moan when you pull his black hair. You definitely don't expect this so you quickly let him go and glance at his face for signs of pain. There is silence for a second. Doug looks at you with his mouth open and breathes heavily, and then bursts into laughter.
“Was that supposed to stop me?” you stare at him wide-eyed as his laughter reverberates around. “Look, sweetie, I won’t care if we fuck in a pool of acid. The only thing I care about is claiming what’s mine. . . You're going to take me any way possible until there's not a drop of your fucking arrogance left inside you.” his lips descend upon yours fiercely; they consume your mouth entirely while he tangles one hand in your hair and grasps your hip harder. It all feels so animalistic, so brutal that it scares and excites you at once — two emotions mixing into an insatiable hunger for more from this twisted game between you two.
You're barely recovering from his rough kiss, your lips are flushed, as are your cheeks. “Doug. . .” you don't really know what you're saying, you just want to repeat his name over and over like a damn prayer. “Doug, Doug, Doug—” you whisper as he can't get enough of your neck, kissing every inch, although it's more like he's devouring you like an animal. His hands find your ass and squeeze it roughly through your clothes, which responds with a reddening of the skin and your sharp sigh.
“Oww, what a pathetic sight,” he taunts you when his fingers finally get under your clothes, pulling them down to your knees with impatient jerks, leaving you in only your panties. Before you can say anything, his finger makes its way to the sweetest spot between your legs. Doug rubs your pussy through your underwear and, feeling how wet you are, sighs contentedly and smiles, baring his teeth. “So fucking wet, look what I've done to you.” he pulls your soaked panties to the side and slips one finger inside you. So fucking slow and gentle, all the time staring into your eyes, just to tease and mock you. It's just one finger, but you can already feel your knees getting weak. “Don't faint, pretty, stay with me, yeah?” Doug hums in approval as your pussy clenches around his finger — a clear signal that his girl is desperate for more.
“Please. . .” you feel so weak to him.
He watches your pleading expression and raises an eyebrow. “More?” he asks, smirking as his second finger joins the first inside you. He starts pumping slowly while rubbing your clit in rapid circles with his thumb. Your hips jerk forward desperately and your lips part in deep sighs. Seeing you begging him like a desperate little slut makes him proud. “Pathetic, ain't you?” when you just get used to his two fingers, he abruptly plunges them even deeper into you. You gasp loudly, clinging on Doug for support as you nearly fall.
“Ohh—! No, fuck, that's—”
“Too much?”
“Yes, t—too rough, wait!” his smile broadens at that. And. . . Then he pulls back suddenly, leaving you panting heavily, your legs trembling.
“You taste heavenly,” he slides his wet fingers into his mouth as he savors your taste, watching your embarrassed face. “take off my fucking belt, baby,” he tells you before pushing two of them against your entrance once more, this time fingerfucking you faster. You don't know what to do, your body doesn't obey, while Doug roughly fingers you, tearing incoherent moans out of you. You try to grab his belt, but his fingers are moving inside you so fast that your hands are shaking. “i said take off my fucking belt.”
He knows you're about to cum as your pussy clenching around his fingers, but he doesn't let you, instead he slows down so you can finally take off his belt. You sigh and Doug takes his fingers out of you, which makes you look at him in shock, brows raised and eyes wide.
“Bu—!” he pulls your panties down and slips his painfully hard cock between your thighs, your soft skin making him groan loudly.
“Mhhm— You feel so fuckin' good, doll,” Doug thrusts forward, rubbing his dick between your damp folds. His length sweetly slides against your slit, every inch of it coated with your wetness. “my good fucking girl.” he wraps one arm around your waist and pulls you closer, not letting you fall.
His hips rock against you in a fast, sinful motion, teasing your cunt with the tip of his cock. He lets out a low groan, his shaft sliding across your folds and over your clit. “Ahhnn— ohh, im close!” you can’t help but whimper softly, you cling to him, fingers curling into fists at his shoulder, hips rolling instinctively with each slide of his dick through your wet folds.
“Cum for me.” Doug fucks your thighs faster, hitting your sensitive nub repeatedly. His breathing deepens as he thrusts harder between your thighs, spreading your wetness around his cock. “My little slut. . .” he hides his face in your hair. “cum for me.” he demands, you feel the delicious tension building in your belly, spreading through your core until it becomes all-consuming. Your whimper as you grind against him helplessly, your hole clenching around nothing.
When his tip slides over your little aching clit, that makes you shudder, a loud moan escaping your lips as you finish. You nearly scream, but your sounds muffled by Doug's chest.
“Good girl.” he praises you. “now I'm going to fuck your brains out and claim this little pussy.” Doug doesn't waste any time to prove his promises. With a ruthless determination, he flips you around, your face against wall. You gasp in surprise, your eyes widening as his dick presses urgently against your entrance. “Thaat's it, you stupid little girl.”
Doug slips inside you, bending his knees to be on a level with your ear and breathing loudly into it, mumbling what a tight cunt you have. You don't want to admit it, but his cock feels perfect. And although his sharp and rough thrusts hurt you, because he immediately began to push into your warmth, you find yourself enjoying this. You're still sensitive after orgasm, but it's only to his advantage as he moves his hips, driving his cock deeper.
”Fuck—fuck! Slow down, ohh” you yelp as he rails your pussy, he doesn't give a fuck that it does hurt you, just like he doesn't give a fuck if anyone sees you. The sounds of skin slapping wildly arouse you, as well as the fact that he's manhandling you and uses you the way he wants makes your legs buckle. “Hahhh, Doug!”
“I won't, you feel too good.” he groans, fucking you harder. “Ughh, you know you want this, your cunt ruined and filled with my cum, yeah?” he growls, feeling your walls tightly squeeze his cock. “Yeah?” he repeats in his mocking manner.
You don't answer his question, so his hand lays down on your ass, and a loud smack echoes down the hallway. “Y—yes! Yes, please, Doug!” you cry out.
Doug grabs a handful of your hair, yanking your head back so your eyes meet his. “Stupid brainless doll made just for my cock.” his heart beat like crazy, feeling your tight and wet pussy wrapping around his shaft as you take him. He pumps deeper into you with every thrust and reaches forward, he slams one hand against the wall beside your head. “You're mine, all mine.” he murmurs, looking down where your ass meets his hips, smile faded from his face. Your whines and moans sounds way too pretty and broken, your eyes burst with tears.
“Hnnhg. . . Slow down!” you tell him like he cares, like he's going to stop. “Doougg”
Your head fuzzy as you feel his cock reaching way really too deep, where you almost feel him in your guts. Doug ignores your words and pleas, knocking the air out of your lungs with his rough pace. He feels you on a completely different level, not only because he's balls deep inside you, he feels the madness that covers his eyes like a veil. Hatred, anger and arousal merged together. And your “ohhh god, Dougg!” which slips from your lips only inflames him even more.
“My pretty slut, my little girl, mine, fuuuck, just like that,” Doug's lost just like you, fucking you like an animal, a crazy one. “Thank me, thank me for fucking you.” after these words, he puts his long fingers in your mouth, as if trying to pull out your tongue. They penetrate so deeply that you feel sick. He runs his fingers over your mouth, wetting them in your saliva. You're almost suffocating.
“Thh. . . Nkkk—” that fucking bastard, you know why he's doing this. He wants you to realize what a helpless, pathetic, but wonderful little ragdoll you are. If his dick wasn't pounding your dripping pussy right now, you'd definitely slap him in the face for it. “Aankkk yo— Ahh! Ouhh”
He chuckles, literally fucking your mouth with his fingers as he hears your babbling. “What was that? Didn't hear you.” you want to cry hysterically, want to bite off his fucking fingers. But his voice is so hot, so damn beautiful. Even though he tries to sound normal, you still catch these little groans and breaths, his voice shaking. And it only makes you wetter. “Hard to talk with your mouth full, baby?”
He takes his fingers out of your mouth, all in your drool, and you almost calm down, but then you arch your back and yelp when you feel them touching your little clit. He rubs your bundle in tight circles, what makes your cunt throb around him. “Fuck, thank— Thank you! Thank you, Doug—” you're moaning so loudly that your throat is already dry.
“Mhmm, such a good girl, that's it,” he cooes, grunting. “so fucking good for me. A slut who needs nothing but my cock.” your chest rises and falls from increased breaths, blood running hot, a mess he loves to see.
He lost his sanity a long time ago and therefore does the same thing to you, making your brains melt as if under the scorching sun. You don't feel yourself, you only feel Doug, everywhere, in your pussy and in your subconscious, your brain and your heart. You even forgot that you're in this fucking hallway.
“Wanna feel you cum all over my cock, pretty.” he leans closer to you, his fingers never stopping rubbing your clit. He brushes his lips against your neck, sliding his tongue on your fresh hickeys and bite marks.
“I'm gonna c—cum, ohh,” before you know what's going on, your body shaking and you feel like you're already falling. Although this would have happened if Doug's hands hadn't been holding you all this time. You cum hard and he follows, burying himself even deeper inside of you as he grits his teeth and groans, his seed spills inside you in thick ropes as your pussy greedily milks him dry. He breathes heavily and moves his hips, fucking you much more slowly to make sure that every drop of him fills you, you moan as you feel his cock twitching inside you.
Doug doesn't take his hands off you, holding you possessively still. But he notices that you're trembling, and his grip soon loosens as he puts his hands on your waist. He kisses your neck, whispering something.
A pair of eyes looked at you two from the darkness of the corridor, and their owner took a deep breath.
#matthew lillard x reader#doug van housen#doug van housen x reader#doug van housen smut#animal room 1995#animal room#animal room smut#mathew lillard#mathew lillard x reader#matthew lillard smut#matthew lillard imagine#I’m sorry if this is bad#william afton x reader
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zolu or frobin for the ship thing!!
YAY I THOUGHT NOBODY WOULD ASK ME ANYTHING NGL AUIBFJKASFDFBFASBFJK
zolu: they make me mentally, physically, and spiritually ill. they're one of my favorite ships if not my favorite ship of all one piece. actually heavily surprised they aren't more popular, but i'm glad opla is kind of changing that. anyway- i've been shipping them since day 1. zoro's devotion to luffy is something i will never get tired of. the fact that he does not believe in any god canonically but the way he follows luffy is so easy to compare to religious imagery makes me weak in the knees and wanting to curl up and cry. zoro is luffy's anchor and the one that guides him when he's lost, and luffy is the one that saved zoro from a life of loneliness and gave him the chance to follow a dream he would have never fulfilled if he had continued on his own. luffy is, kind of literally, his sun. and i'm not even talking about moon/sun dynamics. i don't even consider them to be that specific trope. luffy is literally his sun and god and best friend and boyfriend and captain and everything. if you ask zoro what is luffy for him? his everything. that silly rubber guy? his captain. his sun. his moon. his stars. his dream. also!!! people never talk about luffy's pov when it comes to zolu, and it makes me so so so mad!!!! because his perception of zoro is so beautiful. luffy trusts him with his whole soul and would leave the crew on his bare hands if he needed to. zoro's his first mate. that's a captain's heart, man. luffy might be the captain but he's emotional and irrational, and he listens to what zoro has to say. their silent communication makes me want to bang my head against the concrete floor. luffy relies on him and zoro lets his guard down when it comes to luffy. they're so in love, whether you see it romantically or platonically... i love that they're so clingy and silly and so so so powerful together. if something happened to the other their worlds would literally be completely ruined. their love literally goes beyond romantic and platonic. they're the perfect definition of queer platonic. honestly, i'm not fond of luffy in sexual situations but when it comes to zolu it's just so easy to picture them being so so intimate... i'm gonna cry writing this they're so dear to me.
frobin: i want them to adopt me so damn much. my parents. mom and dad. i usually hate it when people use family labels when it comes to found family, because the point of found family is that they're not a conventional family but they love each other even more deeply than a blood related one does. however, this is my exception because i really really really think they give married vibes and i want them as my parents. their dynamic is so good!! perhaps it's just the fact that their arcs are basically the same one and they're the main characters of water 7/enies lobby (along with our dear god usopp. shout out to my boyfriend out there!!) but their backstories and dynamic are sooooo satisfactory and angsty and domestic to watch (yes, all at the same time). robin's personality is gentle and sweet but also kind of dark and satiric, with a lot of pain behind from her past. franky, on the other hand, is a big, funny, eccentric and extremely adorable guy with an emotional touch and a lot of energy. at first it's just "big funny guy x sweet gentle girl" but in reality is "big funny guy that always takes care of everyone with a smile on his face and is extremely protective of the one he loves x sweet gentle girl that is learning how to enjoy life and will protect her new family at all costs". it's not just the angst and hurt/comfort of it all, though! i love the fact that she's satiric and dark and he's just- he's just fucking scared of her sometimes. and tbh if you're not scared of your hot, goth, intelligent wife, what's the point? you know that meme of will smith showing off his wife? that's literally them. robin does anything and he's there supporting her. franky does anything and she's there saying "that idiot right there is my husband *tiny giggle*". anyway, basically they're very gentle and domestic and i wish my parents loved me the way they would please please franky and robin kiss get married and then adopt me plea-
TL;TR: i love both ships a lot! 10/10 <3
#i'm a fucking menace to society#why do i always write so damn much to say i like a ship#I'M SORRY SDKJFBSJDKB#i'm so dramatic and for what i could've just said i liked both ships a lot but noooooooo#anyway zolu and frobin supremacy#roronoa zoro#monkey d. luffy#nico robin#franky#zolu#frobin#one piece
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This is very important for me to know…
What’s your take on one-sided radiostatic as well as their dynamic in general?
Ooooo let me think 🤔🤔🤔
Tbh as much as I love watching those silly gooses…YOU COULD CUT THE TENSION WITH A KNIFE 🔪🔪‼️‼️‼️
We know Alastor likes to be this way with everyone, push people’s buttons and watch them short circuit, but vox is taking this PERSONALLY‼️‼️
and I know damn well it’s not just cuz he’s pissy abt Alastor rejecting his offer to join his team. So let’s get into some theory’s~~~
One of my personal favorites however~~~
(and imo one of the most realistic)
✨ One sided radio static✨
Vox fell head over heels for this adorable psychotic monster (who wouldn’t) and Alastor broke his heart.
WHY IS THIS A POSSIBILITY❓❗️‼️ SURELY YOU CANT BE SERIOUS
WELL I AM AND ILL TELL YOU BUT DONT CALL ME SURLEY 😏😏😏
So I don’t think it’s been confirmed by Viv but google says Vox is bisexual and with this being a very diverse queer show I’d say there’s a PRETTYYYYYY good chance
from what we’ve seen of the degenerate television he’s a charismatic, not so educated, formal attitude, power craving showman. He acts big and bad, like he has any sort of control over anything, but as soon as someone mentions the radio demon SHIT. HITS. THE. FAN.
LOOK AT HIS FACE❓‼️ U CANT SIT HERE AND TELL ME HE AINT SHITTING IS PANTS RN
HES SCARED. HES NERVOUS. HES VULNERABLE.
BUT WHY. that’s the LAST thing you need to be as an overlord, especially a weak one. (Sorry Vox)
My theory is when our little silly goose saw this beautiful triangle ass after his overnight carnage-
he was hooked, hooked, HOOKED.
of course being the childish piss baby that he is, I wouldn’t think he would’ve DIRECTLY confessed. Only small subtle hints and YOU KNOW Alastor was looking like this the entire time-
But my Voxie baby is fucking clueless, doesn’t get the hints and Alastors done with his shit so when Vox FINALLY musters up the BALLS to ask him to join the Vs he kindly declines and it’s assuming he took it personally ever sense…
after all who was ALASTOR to decline this offer, a chances with the VEES❓‼️ HOW. DARE. HE.-
I mean obviously ANYONE would take the offer of becoming one of the VEES, “the most powerful overlords, amazing, blah blah blah” but you know at the end of the day they don’t have power over SHIT at least not compared to THEM.
In conclusion, I can confirm one sided radio static is canon because I was alastors microphone and I can’t wait to see more of the sillies. 💃💃💃
Extra: I LOVE Alastor and Voxs rivaling opinions on technology, the radio and television are both so alike yet so different and I love how that’s portrayed in these characters.
#alastor hazbin hotel#alastor the radio demon#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel alastor#hazbin hotel ep 4#hazbin hotel episode 4#hazbin hotel husk#hazbin hotel shitpost#hazbin hotel spoilers#husk hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel angel dust#hazbin hotel theory#daily rant#hazbin#niffty#angel dust#alastor#hazbin hotel charlie#huskerdust#hazbin husk#hazbin angel dust#hazbin alastor#hazbin charlie#angel dust x husk#charlie morningstar#charlie hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel vox#hazbin vox#vox hazbin hotel#radio static
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tell me about vnc. the existence of your google doc full of references intrigues me (<- guy who has been studying vampire media for a While now). what is it about this manga series that compels you so. and what is it like, tonally. it does not look like horror but perhaps it is
oh DAMN now that’s a question that’s a bit hard to answer. Sorry for the huge almost-essay. It is my fave series after all.
First off, please start with the manga: https://thecasestudyofvanitas.com/ The pacing and tone is better. Newer chapters can be found on MangaUp and the raws are in some people's blogs. Just DM me.
Now, I don’t want to give too much away, although if you checked out my doc, there’s already a lot of spoilers and theories there. (There will also be a blog for references soon).
The manga is essentially a memoir, presented as a “case study” of Vanitas, a man who wavers between vampirism and humanity. He, we are told in the first issue, has been killed by the author, Noé, after, it is implied, turning into something not-human. Noé is a vampire and coded to be gay. Vanitas is heavily coded to be bi and queer gender-wise. They are both obsessed with each other to a degree that is unhealthy, fascinating, and not very straight.
(and there are many other queer characters, including nonbinary vampires and canon sapphic vampire couples who are key players in the series. It is weaved into the narrative).
The manga diverges from other stories in the fact the vampires do not need blood to survive and are more like reinforced humans. But there is an illness that creates uncontrollable bloodlust and results in beheading of its victims by other vampires. The cause is the main mystery. Vanitas, one of our two protagonists, is a vampire doctor who saves vampires from this disease with the help of Noé. So that’s a huge inversion of traditional tales right there, since most of them are about killing vampires, not saving them.
but while it inverts it in that sense, it follows up with almost every iteration of vampirism, including extremely fucking obscure references. Like, do you know what a Kresnick is? (if you do, i am in awe of you!)
And like my fantastic mutual @neversetyoufree (link) highlighted recently, there is the presence of vampirism as most of its past versions: disease, objects of prejudice, racist aristocrats preying on others, queerness, corruption of natural death, sexual assault, eroticism, psychic vampirism etc.
The neat thing about all these references is that they are well-thought out and woven into the tale. It isn’t BSD where it’s just There without any deeper meaning.
With regards to the tone, I wouldn’t say it’s quite straight up horror, but it does have many horror elements, as can be seen in the themes above. Like there’s various civil wars, characters have been abandoned and/or lost someone in horrific deaths, etc.
I guess it’s mostly presented as a tragedy. There’s exploration of griefs in all its forms.
And it is very very campy. It gets very silly and comedic sometimes, in between the fucked up parts of course. Tbh, that put me off at first, but I grew to adore it.
Personally, I find the queerness, the campiness, the takes on vampirism, the rabbit holes caused by obscure references, and (mostly, because I too lost someone) the explorations on grief to have been the parts that got its claws into me and never let go.
If you are interested in delving into it, please read the manga first. The anime is good, but it leans more into comedy, which is fine, but I think you would enjoy the manga’s tone more. The pacing is also much better. Newer chapters are on MangaUp, and there are blogs here that provide the raws.
Sorry for the essay, it is my favorite series! Hope you pick it up and enjoy the nonsense and chill fandom around it!
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I mean s1 was deffo better than s2 but why do you say that it wasn't good? /gen
mannn honestly it would take ages to enumerate all my problems with it but these are the main ones
just a massive, massive tone problem. this show just has no clue what it wants to be and it's bad as hell as a result. the wilderness scenes in this season had some of the darkest stuff of anything in the show (eating jackie + shauna miscarriage + shauna beating lottie) and having all that next to like... misty's quirky reddit boyfriend just absolutely defanged it. the show doesn't want to commit to being either a quirky mystery/comedy or a gritty survival horror and because of that it fails to effectively be anything at all
misty's reddit boyfriend in general just sucked so bad. like what was that
the escalation from 'we're hungry' to 'let's draw cards and murder whoever gets the wrong one' occurred over the span of ONE EPISODE. one SINGLE episode without ANY NEGOTIATION. literally not one single scene of the characters even TALKING about it before it happened. what a joke. what an absolute joke. they had an entire season to build to it how'd they fuck it up this bad
this is a problem I had with the first season as well but the survival threat feels so told and not shown. like we're told all these characters are Soooo Hungry but none of them are ever actually like. fatigued. or ill. or Dying. like how the fuck is coach ben still alive man. it just makes the escalation to killing people that much more abrupt and the whole situation seem so contrived when it doesn't actually feel like they're in danger
just in general the show like. refuses to let any of its characters feel anything at all. shauna straight up killed an innocent man that she was having an affair with last season and the extent of the emotional fallout of that act is her making quirky Oh Whoopsie comments about it. like that would be an insane traumatic thing to go through and you'd think it would be the kind of thing the show would want to explore. but no. not on amc's yellowjackets
on that same topic. shauna beating lottie had weirdly little emotional fallout. like ik they didn't like each other but shauna almost beat lottie to death with her hands and seemed just like. kind of sad and apologetic afterwards. like you'd think that such an act would have some sort of extreme ramifications for her relationship with the group and her own emotional state but nah
in the same vein: this season did adult taissa SO dirty. all the little plot threads that made her story difficult and compelling last season have completely been dropped -- her wife and son were literally written out like 4 episodes in and we don't see any of the emotional complexity of her leaving behind those relationships. additionally the last season ended with her being elected senator (sth that could cause a lot of conflict and drama bc of the increased responsibility on her shoulders + surveillance and scrutiny of her life) and it literally just. never comes up again? like her wife is in a coma and her son is just left fully parentless and she walks away from her job as a US STATE SENATOR and not only are there no consequences she also just literally does not seem to care. I feel like the writers just had no clue what they wanted to do with her and so they just gave her... nothing. no conflict no emotions just nothinggggg
okay they did give her one thing. they gave her an evil alter ego. which is mad corny imo. last season it was weird and ambiguous enough that I enjoyed it but this season it was just so literal and on the nose and I did not enjoy it One Bit
similar to the cards thing lottie deciding that they needed to kill one of them at the end was so damn abrupt and stupid. like literally so pointless and out of nowhere
natalie's death was so silly and contrived that it actually made me laugh
adult van is not butch enough ‼️‼️‼️‼️
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The Prince of Thieves (new and improved) - looking for readers!
For the last few months, I've been working on editing The Prince of Thieves, a story novel which was originally published on Tumblr and ao3 between October 2022 and June 2023. As I work through the last few chapters and prepare to write the new opening, I thought I'd put out some feelers...
By the end of this month (hopefully), I'll be seeking feedback on this manuscript!
I would love to connect with folks who are:
okay with whump (I would never call my writing gory, but there is LOTS of angst, captivity and restraints, hopelessness, torture, illness and bodily injury)
comfortable giving honest feedback on the characters and story
willing to point out any particularly egregious typos once in a while if/when you spot them
fine with it being pretty. uh. long. let's ballpark 150k? will give a final word count when it's done.
able to use Google Docs or Microsoft Word
able to provide feedback by ***February 29, 2024
***If I take too long to finish editing, this date will get moved back, of course. :)
✨ express your interest here. ✨
Details below the read more!
Here's the silly tongue-in-cheek blurb:
guy and gal get arrested and tormented by super cool, totally normal constable while pals on the outside freak out and make bad decisions; fun 1800s prison vibes with a side helping of angst and chosen family
Below is a more blurb-y blurb:
The goal of Iustitia aecum, the notorious thieving gang, is to steal from the rich and give to the poor. For a few years, that’s exactly what Jamie, Will, Colette, and Geoff (as the gang’s inner circle) do; they slip through the fingers of the law time and time again.
One day, everything goes wrong.
Will, by a stroke of fateful misfortune, falls into a trap meant for Jamie, the real leader of IA, and ends up in prison—in the custody of Constable Baden Hatchett, an officer who is willing to do whatever it takes to get Will to crack so he can bust IA and bring all its members to justice.
With execution—his brother’s and his own—hanging over his head, Will resolves to take his secrets to the grave, swearing not to betray the only family he has left.
Bree Cooper is one of IA’s runners, privy to no secrets save for one she learned by chance…that she was never supposed to know. When she, too, falls into the hands of the constabulary, she is forced to reckon with her past (a complicated history with Constable Hatchett himself) and her future (the gallows).
Will and Bree’s lives were already intertwined, and when they find each other again behind bars, they will rewrite the stories fate has planned for them—together.
Genre: drama, historical/period piece, whump / POV: 1st-person most of the time, 3rd-person for flashbacks / Narrators: multiple (5 of 'em)
sneak peek to see if the style is for you:
It’s cold up here on the roof of the boarding house—that’s why no one else is up here, probably—but there’s something delightfully bracing about the wind scrubbing the day’s dust from my skin while the stars gaze down. It’s delicious, almost wicked, to peer into the city streets from so high.
Up here, no one else can see me. Up here, no one can say a damn thing when I pull up my sleeves. There’s no one to gasp or gawk as I reveal the soft, scandalous flesh of my arms and trace my fingers along, throwing into sharp relief what must remain invisible at all other times: black-as-night ink painted on the canvas of my skin.
It’s a shame the tattoo would send me to prison if the constables saw it, because it’s beautiful. Sometimes I just stare down at the details—the leaves bursting from a tree in full bloom, the ring around its swirling, entwined roots. Would anyone else, other than my fellow runners or the constabulary, know what it means if they caught a glimpse? I’m not so sure, but they’d certainly be confused if they saw it on my arm. Silas Cooper’s daughter, tattooed like a common criminal? A gentlewoman like her? How? Why? What happened?
I scowl into the night. Breanna Cooper died with Silas, or at least I like to think she did. When I think back on the girl who stumbled, dry-eyed, away from her father’s deathbed and then ran from the man she was supposed to marry, out into a chilly autumn night much like the one I’m gazing into now, I don’t recognize her—don’t recognize myself. That girl ran into a life of nothing, yes. But isn’t that also what she ran away from?
✨ express your interest here. ✨
Friends who have already read TPOT, you are welcome to do a reread if you want, but there's never any pressure, ever. 💕
Thanks for your time!
#lps the prince of thieves#lmk if you want to do a swap!!#seeking beta readers#looking for beta readers#looking for readers#looking for feedback#whump writing#whump story#...oh and I guess I'm unveiling the new banner too lol
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If you do not like what other people like, then this is not a reason to insult them.
You must distinguish the real world from fiction. If you can't do that, can you stop using social media, please? Why can't you just NOT watch posts tagged "Beluz" if you're so easily hurt by drawings?
Do you really want so badly to draw other people's attention to the fact that you do not like something that they like? Or do you think that if you insult them, then something will change?
Just don't interact with people whose content you don't like. Do yourself and them a favor
hey bucko, you seem to be lacking some braincells, so let me shed some light on that dark, empty brain of yours! 🙂
see, this is how the internet functions, bud! i make an opinion post on things i find that really grind my gears, as most people do on social media! before said post, i did not actively seek out any beluz posts. in fact, i have done my damn best to avoid them. a beluz supporter came on MY post, basically begging for attention at that rate.
you see, champ, what you dont seem to understand is that fiction bleeds into reality very often! take that one slenderman case, for example. yknow the one. that was caused by, you guessed it, fiction!
i do not actively engage with beluz shippers, i am primarily nonconfrontational! but theres a difference when someone who tries to defend it comes forward, clinging on to the mindset that 'fiction is fiction', which can be correct in some cases! when someone uses silly headcanons for a character that doesnt actively harm anyone, fiction is fiction! its a character, usually headcanons come from a form of projection in most cases.
however, bringing in pedophilia into the mix is when shit gets weird. y'see, pedophilia in all forms is wrong, something everyone is taught at a young age. common sense, right? when you take a young character and try to ship them with a much older, mature character, its obviously not right. everyone is aware of this.
fiction is just the projection of reality. i mean, realistically, if you saw a young girl dating an older man, you would be disgusted, wouldnt you? so why is it different within fiction? ill answer it for you, because people believe they can hide behind the face of fiction to condone their disgusting actions. pedophilia is pedophilia, regardless! see, get this, according to the Section 1466A of Title 18, United State Code, it's illegal for any person to knowingly produce, distribute, receive, or possess with intent to transfer or distribute visual representations, such as drawings, cartoons, or paintings that appear to depict minors engaged in sexually explicit conduct and are deemed obscene.
and that's just in america. it is ALSO illegal in the UK and Canada and many more countries! fiction does affect reality. many insults are warranted here in this situation, because news flash, pedophiles and those who encourage pedophilia are disgusting!
please get a grip, hope this helped, buckaroo! <33
#i had to dumb it down for you#youre welcome#youre all freaks#beluz#toh#the owl house#anti beluz#valid argument#but unfortunately#pipebomb
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i read your meta from a few weeks earlier about how the harkers are hypocrites in their vows because if they were in each other's shoes they'd have made the same choice as them, and that stoker considers their love as too intense and too much for the proper social mores and morals in the narrative, but i wonder, if that's the case, wouldn't the narrative be punishing them for it with death or worse?
There's a lot of rambling I could go into about Stoker's Christian+ motives for the way the Harkers' story plays out, but I think once the vampires and the holy varnish flakes off, it all comes down to the guy's own wishful thinking. Really, what any writer of ribald, intense, ultimately ecstatic romance comes down to.
The narrative doesn't punish them (all the way) for their beyond-God-and-Devil love for each other because 1) Kind of a shitty lesson to say that Loving Too Much = Evil and 2) It's emotional escapism. It's been implied that Stoker wasn't a straight man and that a lot of Mina's mannerisms are a result of his using her as his own insert.
A character able to love and be loved past the point of good pious Christian allowance by a man who is at turns a gentle sweetheart and then a righteous and livid avenger for his beloved's sake! No, he will not destroy her! Not for all the urging of the angels, for humanity or sanity! No matter what his love is, be she imperfect or even monstrous, he will protect and join her..!
You see the appeal. And so it would be implied in the reverse (though of course that might skew Too Ellgeebeetee to have Jonathan as the imperiled maiden figure set to be collected by the Count), as Mina shows her likewise unexpectedly unwavering love and championing of Jonathan when he is not only a less-than-classic Man's Man even pre-Transylvania, but also struck ill, weak, and heavily traumatized. For all that they are good people, and Mina is heavily repressed in her Not Like Those Silly New Women! insistences, the Harkers are unconventional as hell.
Both in their manner with each other and with the strength of their love surpassing any edict of society and/or the threat of losing Heaven itself; a possibility shown so callously by the scarring of the Wafer on Mina's brow. If Jonathan wasn't already decided in his path, I think that visual probably made the choice irreversible. Because for all the others' talk of 'Lucy looked so much more at peace after we staked her heart and chopped her head off! She's surely with the angels!' our good friend Jonathan Harker has had more experience with the profane than the divine than all of them put together.
God is powerful against vampires. That doesn't automatically make Him just. And there's no guarantee that the pearly gates really will accept an ex-vampire's soul beyond 'Well, we assume that'll happen.'
If there's even the slightest chance that Mina is barred from the Son's protection, doomed to be either a monster on Earth or hellbound after it, Jonathan will ensure whatever her status is, he Will Be Beside Her. He is willing to damn himself to protect and join her.
We as the audience can't help but feel for that heartfelt dedication.
Just as we would feel pretty fucking pissed if Bramothy decided to inflict an extra dose of misery on the Harkers in a 'No no, loving each other too passionately is a sin! Let's torment/kill them about it for a good saintly ending!' So the narrative is a little stacked in their favor.
God is supposed to be love. Just as He made Abraham stop before striking the killing blow to Isaac--a test all along!--He is implied to have a hand in the heroes' quest and their ultimate harrowing climax. Helping them toward a happily ever after that they more than earned.
Or, the short version:
The Harkers: 'If this vampiric mess doesn't get fixed, I'm breaking up with humanity and getting vampired with my beloved. RIP to Christianity and humanity, but if they aren't here for my loved one, I want no part of them.'
God: 'Shit, that's fair. Let's go fix that vampire mess then. Harkers OTP4Ever'
At least I think that was the message Stoker was going for.
#...but then I am also Bitter McBile and so have OTHER thoughts concerning holy powers that be singling Jonathan out as someone to hone#into a weapon that will ultimately be instrumental in killing Dracula#cleaning up a centuries-old inhuman mess that was allowed free reign for...reasons?#only to have his life and his wife be dangled in front of him as incentive#cattle-prodding him into the daring heroics necessary#but that's its own diatribe#jonathan harker#mina harker#holiest love#literally#dracula#dracula daily
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ooc;; okay, so i saw 'dracula: a comedy of terrors" last night and the verdict is .... um, not awesome. i always hate to rag on live theatre because as a fellow theatre-maker i know how hard it is and even in a show like this that i didn't particularly like i still respect enormously the talent of the cast, techies, and creatives that brought it together. so it hurts to say this was ... kind of unpleasant, but i can't say otherwise when so much of the humor was just punching down, on women, on unattractiveness, on mentally ill characters... even in its wack victorian sensibilities i can really confidently say that the novel was kinder and more progressive than this was. more detailed thoughts below the cut.
the big "yikes" for me was the (mis)handling of crossdressing roles. there were two actors, a man and a woman, who largely crossdressed for their roles, the man played mina and van helsing (genderbent femme) and so much of the comedy around these characters was about how ugly they were, how unattractive, how masculine or disgusting, or stupid... it was really quite sad to watch for me (though i will say the audience responded very positively to this humor, which only made me sadder...) it was a lot of man-in-dress jokes layered into a lot of pseudo-misogynous ideas about femininity and desirability. and that was bad in its own way, but it was extra "yikes" when one takes into account that the crossdressing woman (playing the seward-esque character, the demeter's captain, and renfield) had no equivalently cruel humor. there were no jokes about how silly it was to see a woman in trousers, no jabs at being unmanly or unattractive. there was humor, but all coming from generally more plot-based veins. and putting these two portrayals up next to each other it was very clear that the humor was based on an idea of femininity as lesser-than, derogatory. when a woman dresses as a man, it's aspirational, it's smart, it's cool, etc., but when a man dresses as a woman it is humiliating, silly, sick. masculinity is valued, femininity isn't. and add in the ghost of transphobia directed at transwomen that i could feel just hanging over the whole mina & van helsing characters, and i hope it's not hard to see why i felt uncomfortable with the piece.
since this is the #renfieldzone i think it's also my duty to talk about how renfield was handled. and. i mean. he wasn't, mostly. he was there, and absolutely the only joke he ever got was the bug-eating. like damn, we couldn't even let him have birds or rats too, huh? this show was a super condensed version of the story so lots of characters were cut (rip arthur, quincey, and most of seward's personality) so honestly i'm a little surprised renfield was here at all. he was largely useless to the plot because the actress playing him doubled as the seward-type and therefore the latter's import to most scenes meant renfield couldn't be there. (but there were many very clever quick changes!) since the play was also just... so absolutely cruel and demeaning to mina, there was no space for any empathetic mina-loving redemption for renfield, so he really just seemed to be here because... well frankly because the writer clearly had a lot of jokes about insanity they wanted to include. not going to waste space talking about them all, just know it was, as said before, a lot of punching down. the only other interesting thing about this renfield is that he is shown to be zoöphagous before ever meeting dracula, so in the age-old debate of 'did dracula make him do it or is he just like that' this play came down firmly on the side of He's Just Like That.
you may notice i keep mentioning a 'seward-type' character and not just a seward, and that would be because the doctor placed in the vaguely seward-shaped hole in the dracula plot is really nothing like seward and indeed has a different name to boot. he's called dr. westenfeld, and if you're thinking 'hey that's kind of like westenra' then that might be because he's lucy's father in this retelling. and also mina's? mina and lucy are sisters now, i guess. and also, they're effectively role-swapped. lucy is jonathan's smart, brave, modern-thinking fiancée and mina is the one turned first by dracula. because this show is, again, ruthlessly cruel to mina, she has no suitors, no close bonds beyond lucy, and gets absolutely no respect.
but what about dracula? he's... well he's hot. and a little bit of a bastard. and that's about it. no hairy palms, no crawling in his lizard fashion, barely any on-stage blood. honestly i have very little to say about him other than that i find it a little hard to swallow just how heavily the marketing of this show leaned into his queer energy when the full show really isn't that gay at all and so constantly equates dracula's queer-affected vampirism with promiscuity, mixing the signals and making it seem like queerness is promiscuity. not a great look.
this is already an essay so even though i have more miscellaneous thoughts i'll wrap it here. if anyone's curious about specific things, i'm happy to answer pointed asks.
so yeah. tl;dr just. i respect the craft of all the people that brought this together, i think the actors did great work with poor material, and the design and direction were solid, it's just... it's very hard to save a show with a fundamentally bad script, and that's what this felt like to me. good stagecraft, bad material.
#@ these playwrights: turn on ur location i just wanna talk#||x long and afar off [ ooc ]#||x the good book [ meta & dracula relevant content ]
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Thoughts on Good Omens Season 2
(CONTAINS SPOILERS OBVIOUSLY)
Good Omens season 2 was such a genuinely beautiful and moving addition to the Good Omens franchise. I could write forever about it so I'll try to keep it concise, and mostly talk about the finale because it was SO DAMN GOOD.
I have never been so genuinely compelled by a piece of acting before in my life. When I say that David Tennant's delivery of the confession at the end of episode 6 changed my life, I truly mean that. The way his voice hitches in his throat, the way he stutters, the way he has to keep forcing the words out. Goodness, it was a DELIGHT.
Michael Sheen brought the same energy to the scene. Both actors seemed like they were on the verge of tears, but Mr. Sheen's facial expressions and mannerisms (especially AFTER the kiss) broke my heart right in half. Tennant and Sheen both care so deeply about these characters and it is truly beautiful to watch.
The entire latter half of ep 6 had my stomach in a knot in the best possible way.
Lets get into the rambling analysis in the form of various bullet points:
1) Crowley kissing him was a stupid idea, sure, but I DON'T THINK AZIRAPHALE EVEN UNDERSTOOD IT WAS A LOVE CONFESSION BEFORE THAT. I TRULY DON'T THINK THERE WAS ANY OTHER WAY TO TELL HIM.
2) Aziraphale called CROWLEY a "bad guy". Not JUST HELL. He said "YOU'RE the bad guys". On top of this, he keeps wanting Crowley to change. I understand that Aziraphale truly does want to change the way heaven functions, and he wants Crowley to be happy and accepted, and he wants to get rid of all his pain, but HOLY SHIT WHAT ARE YOU DOING. It feels so out of character for Aziraphale. This point in itself is making me like the coffee theory, but also I dont like fan theories much so I'm not regarding that.
3) CROWLEY DOESN'T KNOW AZIRAPHALE LOVES HIM BACK. AZIRAPHALE NEVER GAVE HIM ANY INDICATION OF LOVING HIM BACK. CROWLEY DEFINITELY THINKS AZIRAPHALE HATES HIM.
4) "I forgive you."
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? IS THAT A JOKE?? ARE YOU KIDDING? I DON'T EVEN HAVE ANY COMMENTARY I JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT THAT LINE KILLED ME TO DEATH.
5) Muriel saw. That's pretty hilarious to me. What r u doing back there silly??
6) THE METATRON ONLY TOLD AZIRAPHALE HE COULD BRING CROWLEY BECAUSE
HE KNEW THAT WAS THE ONLY WAY AZIRAPHALE WOULD AGREE
HE KNEW CROWLEY WOULD SAY NO
7) THE KISS LASTED T W E L V E SECONDS. 12. TEN AND TWO. 1/5 OF A MINUTE.
I'm sure when I collect myself I will have more insightful things to say, but for now ill just say that the season was absolutely beautiful. I love art that makes me feel things. It's a true work of art. Heart and passion just SEEPS out of the season.
10/10!!
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OKSORRY FOR. EVEN MORE. but dash, paper star, dokuso, neal, and the troll?
AW YEAH sorry about the break in answering i was at an auditionnn
Dash Haber
How I feel about this character: he's so silly. what a guy. he's trying so hard but he's so bad at everything. i love him he's hilarious
All the people I ship romantically with this character: ahhhh not really any? haberzackary is kind of a fun ship. oh also neal solely because of mangokat again
My non-romantic OTP for this character: mmmm i dont know he doesn't really have enough interaction for this
My unpopular opinion about this character: if he was less silly he could be so dangerous actually. he has carmen with her back turned, unaware of him, he's HOLDING his razor hat. he could have her dead in five seconds. but HE WHISTLES TO GIVE HER A HEADS UP its so fucking funny
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: i dont know i kinda of liked what happened with him. ivy gets to growl at him. i wish he would have gotten his hands a little dirtier...a physical fight or something instead of a long distance one? but i know he'd probably just die instantly also so
Paper Star
How I feel about this character: BARK BARK
All the people I ship romantically with this character: TIGRESS!! i also enjoy a good bit of carmen shipping here,,
My non-romantic OTP for this character: mmmmmmmmm i dont know with her she's kind of a solo act unless she's. not. that doesn't make any sense but i don't know
My unpopular opinion about this character: that ending did her soooo dirty we didn't even get a final fight she was just trussed up and left there to look mad about it
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: mmm the above i guess. also make out with tigress. also give her a damn halloween costume can you imagine if she was cool
Lady Dokuso
How I feel about this character: she's so much fun because she's dangerous!! but also she's not!! like they let her be dangerous but not that dangerous. you're like omg what did she poison shadowsan with what did she poison shadowsan with this time what did she shoot carmen with and its just paralysis. potion of knocked out instantly. shadowsan falls through a roof etc. she could be so deadly and they dont let her be
All the people I ship romantically with this character: shadowsan but ONLY so they can be divorced
My non-romantic OTP for this character: ahhh i dont know her little mentorship thing with paper star was kind of a cool dynamic but then she just kind of. idk
My unpopular opinion about this character: i guess i already said. give her Potions of Die Instantly
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: POTIONS OF DIE INSTANTLY
Neal the Eel
How I feel about this character: SILLY also yeah he's amazing he's hilarious he's rhys darby who is always cool. ALSO he almost broke carmen's neck which was really slay of him
All the people I ship romantically with this character: mime bomb and dash both have special places in my heart when shipped with him
My non-romantic OTP for this character: mmm i dont know again there isnt too much interaction to go off of
My unpopular opinion about this character: okay remember when they're in russia and he disappears into the grate? the noise he makes when he disappears is the worst thats the worst part about him that coo noise it sounds like a baby
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: ahh i dont know he was kind of hilarious?? he just went WELP mind control doesnt work on me soo i guess ill go sit on a fish boat for the rest of my life so true of him honestly
The Troll
How I feel about this character: i heavily dislike him he feels like he would call me a slur and he's annoying. JHDSFDS okay sorry thats a bit harsh but i literally do not have any feeling towards him other than dislike
All the people I ship romantically with this character: i don't
My non-romantic OTP for this character: no
My unpopular opinion about this character: ahhhhh he was in the sort of awkward batch of one or two time s3 characters that were vaguely unlikable or vaguely entertaining but had a lot of potential. like (ok sorry) spinkick and flytrap were kind of cool but i think spinkick was kind of annoying and his biggest personality trait was being dante basco. so. i think they should have fixed the troll and these characters and kept them in or left them out altogether
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: can you imagine an actual rival hacker to player?? i wish he was more threatening!! i wish he would be more used but only if he was less annoying!! that would be such an obstacle but he idk didnt he just kind of disappear once s3 was over??
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your magical girl au is so silly /vpos. that time frame where toya had yet to join but akito has sounds so goofy.. he really just has the Some Guy vibes (with the same powers as the other two but). i would love to hear your ideas so far on how he gets himself into that without toya because 99% of the time in canon he gets himself into weird shit because toya said "please 🥺" LMAO. also do you have any ideas about how other prsk characters would play into this (especially tsukasa, rui, and the vivids)? also also any specific scenes in your brain?
hehe thank you anon :)
and yeah YEAH the interval isnt too large but it gives that time for akito to have more one on one interactions with emu and nene and its so silly :]
ill nestle everything else under the cut bc im going to ramble again wagh
TBH that piece where touya can easily sway akito as such made me consider it to be more logical for it to be the other way around where akito is last to join initially but i chose this order for the sake of the fun dynamics LOL
emu kept asking and begging akito to team up with her and nene (as nene just sat there and watched this all occur) until he reluctantly accepted. giving them one chance and all. hes very strong and emu believes hes more than worthy for the role despite his own personal opinion. when touya eventually joins tho he finally confidently accepts working as a team bc touya gave him the pleading face. and you Know akito cannot turn that down or smth. yeah <3
tbh the team dynamic as fun as it is, it doesnt start out as cohesive as one would hope bc theres so much clash and it takes them time to be able to obtain that synergy (i want them to build up to having a badass unity attack to wrap that little arc hehe).
the idea of them having the double life between performances and saving the god damn city is chaotic but thats how it is being a magical girl!!
i havent given too much thought abt tsukasa, rui, an, and kohanes role in this au but im debating between letting them be normal surpporting roles OR they get to be the silly ""rival"" team to aktyemnn bc that would already be such a fun dynamic between those four,... and adding in the usual meta of not recognizing their mg counterparts would make this even funnier LMAO
actually wait.. this is really fun i like this... i want rui to have a giant bazooka as his weapon of choice, it makes sense in my heart. and then tsukasa would have a pegasus partner. kohane a hamster partner. ohhhbh i am letting my train of thought dictate my answer here as. you can see.
i wish i could draw bc i would have loveed to include little doodles to accompany my thoughts here bc the visuals would help better emphasize my points haha,,, but when i can. i DEFINATELY want to doodle for this au again,, i miss it so dearly since i got so busy with school..
#noct.doc#anon#once again. please PLEASE pick at my brain over this au#bc i seriously could talk abt this particular one for a long time if given the opportunity and permission#i am so normal i promi-
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I bring questions 🍊
Favorite fictional world?
What’s a food you want to try?
What was the last book you read?
What’s a movie you wish you could see for the first time again?
If you could have any superpower, what would it be and why?
Favorite ice cream flavor and toppings (if any)?
Do you collect anything?
Favorite candy bar?
What’s your phone case?
What’s your favorite condiment?
(I have a google doc full of questions that I use for daily polls in a server I run lmao 😭)
Hello bestie! Don’t think I forgot about you. I’ve just been pondering my answers to these amazing questions!
•Favorite Fictional world?
Okay THIS is the question I’ve been hung up on for an hour because damn.
I thought the answer was easy - wizarding world - because who doesn’t want to be a wizard?? But there’s like. So many good options here.
SO my official answer is actually Doctor Who. Which is kinda silly bc it takes place legit on earth?? But I’d just have the ability to be the companion and travel? Like the 11th Doctor IS my comfort character. He makes me feel safe. He makes me feel special and loved and that’s so silly to say out loud lmfao rip but he’s all I had when I was having a rough time like ages 13-17 and so yeah. That’s my final answer. Doctor Who reality.
•A food you want to try?
I have never tried a macaron??? And they look so good but I have no idea what to expect!? So I really want to try one I’m just scared it’ll disappoint lol.
•Last book you read?
“All This Time” by Mikki Daughtry and Rachael Lippincott
I finished it in like three hours. Ending was….something.
•A movie you wish you could see again for the first time?
Damn this is a good one. For the very first time????
“Wet, Hot, American Summer” is a contender because it’s funny as shit always, but it hit different that first time. I was on the floor laughing my ass off. Like that film? Peak comedy for real.
But if I’m going for a more serious option… maybe “Rent” (2005) or “Harry Potter”.
•What superpower would I have and why?
Listen I’ve thought about this for YEARS. Because at first it was flying and then it was invisibility and then it was telekinesis.
But like in terms of cool shit - maybe something like Wanda Maximoff where I can dream walk and make people see things or let myself see things?
•Favorite Ice Cream Flavor?
I’m usually a milkshake gal. Either classic cookies n cream with the hot fudge drizzle OR peanut butter chocolate ((but only if I’m at Baskin Robbins)).
HOWEVER if we’re talking exclusive ice cream only - it’s a tie between “Circus animal cookie” from this local shop by my house OR “chocolate malted crunch” from the Thrifty’s inside RiteAid lol
•Do you collect anything?
Too many things. I collect certain coins - mostly diff variations of the quarters. I have a display book that has all of the 50 states series. Then I have a second display book with 49/50 state national parks ((looking for that last one god dammit)) and now I’m collecting the new series of historical women!! And it’s so cool bc the George Washington on the front is a different one than the other quarters! I also have like a silver penny and some other random rare ones from the past that were gifts.
I also collect Featherly Friends birds from Target ☠️ they have me in a chokehold, what can I say?
•Fave candy bar?
Chocolate candy bar? Twix. Hands down. But candy in general I actually go for strawberry or cherry sour punch straws. 🤤
•Phone case?
Okay so this do be my mental illness but I can never ever decide on one theme or pattern for a phone case and most of the decorative ones seem flimsy?? So deadass mine is a two-toned pink otterbox case 🤣
And before this it was a two toned purple otter box case. And even before that. A two toned blue otter box case 🤡 I’m just very clumsy okay
•Fave condiment?
It’s gotta be a tie between Ketchup and Ranch - however I think ketchup is more versatile? Idk it’s pretty even but I’m usually satisfied with one of those
(Pls note. Get out of here with that Fuckin Kranch shit I don’t want that here 🤣🤣))
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Hey, about your imposter syndrome post.
As I see it, it really doesn’t matter how bad you think you are on fandom spaces, there are no consequences for being a good or bad fic writer. Just do your thing and best case scenario people will like what you wrote, worst case, people will not. Literally doesn’t matter at all, people (including you) are just having fun, if it’s not fun anymore, and it’s causing you stress, maybe looking into other hobbies can be a healthy alternative, but there is no reason why it should not be fun.
Save the imposter syndrome to your workplace or college where it can be weaponized by your mediocre male peers as the capitalist God intended lmao
hey anon!
i absolutely agree with you! fandom is something that should absolutely be fun! writing fanfiction is something that, if it’s a hobby you partake in, should be fun! i’m well aware that in the scheme of things that this is all just for fun, that fandom is for fun and fanfic isn’t all that serious. and as i said in the tags of my original post- fandom is fun for me. i get great enjoyment from blogging about my silly little shows and talking about the characters i love. but sometimes, and i think some fellow creators here will agree with me, as much as you love and enjoy doing something, putting things out there for others to see can make you feel a little anxious. can make you feel like an imposter when you see so many great works of art and fic out there- or when you see big fandom discussions and discourse that aren’t all that fun. i don’t think that means i should quit, or stop or find a new hobby- and that’s on me if my original post i made it sound that bad, like i haven’t been feeling awesome but, as i said, im still enjoying fandom. because i do agree that sometimes taking a break from fandom is for the best. it’s all for fun and yes, untimely fandom and fanfic is something you should do for yourself first.
my biggest issue is that i let my anxiety and insecurities get the best of me sometimes. even with things that are just for fun, because writing is something i care about and i get in my head. it’s my favourite hobby and sometimes when you care about something, no matter if there are any consequences or not for writing anything good like with fanfiction as you said, you’ll get nervous or anxious, because you’re still sharing something you made. worked on and put time into. and it’s easy to sometimes compare yourself to others, even in a more easy-going, fandom space, and feel a bit down on yourself. we are our own worst critics sometimes.
but thank you anon really, i didn’t mean to go off on a rant because i really do agree with you- i do. it’s good sometimes to remind ourselves to not take ourselves so seriously, especially with fandom when you can get caught up in things so easily, but it’s also a mindset that you have to grow into. work at. to just chuck your anxiety and insecurities out the door, even when logically you know they’re silly, but sometimes it’s not that easy. and that’s just brains for you. i wish i could just say fuck it like you suggested, and i hope one day i will. for now, i will, as i said, work on it and just try to remind myself to take it easy and chill.
and honestly? id rather my imposter syndrome be towards my writing ability and fics, cause ill be damned if i ever let some mediocre man make me feel that way lol
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Top 27 Weird Al Songs
Hello all you happy weirdos and I hope you have your bologona, your mediums sized root beer with free refills and your twinkie weiner sandwitches ready because this post is going to be long.
It's also a break from format: I usually review movies, tv shows, comics. In fact I reviewed Weird Al's first movie UHF earlier this year. It was awesome. I usually don't dip into music itself but with the momentous arrival of Weird Al's wonderfully insane parody of biopics Weird: The Al Yankovic Story, I just had to do something for the occasion. And while Al's done ton of voice work so I had plenty of options from the beautifully meta choice to cast him as Wreck-Gar in transformers animated, to his ponytastic turn as Pinky Pie's future husband Cheese Sandwitch whose basically Weird Al but younger and a horse, and of course his starring roll in the criminally short lived Milo Murphy's law among MANY others I intend to cover at some point. (especially since I just realized while writing this next year is his 40th anniversary) , I decided to focus on the man himself.
Weird Al is one of my faviorite musicians and I say that without a tinge of irony and with all the pride I can muster in my spleen: Weird Al has lasted this long for damn good reason, being able to deftly copy the sounds of a day and parody or homage them with expert skill, while also able to make his own unique compositions from stylistic parodies to just plain original ten minute epics and fun polka mashups of the last few years of music.
He's also one of the genuinely sweetest and nicest guys in the music buisness: he's kind, respectful of the artists he parodies (asking permission after the whole Coolio thing but their Coolio now so it's Coolio), and just one of the coolest dudes around. He's done everything with 14 albums, countless singles for other projects, 2 films, 2 tv series (he didn't write milo but he did STAR in it and was in almost every episode so I count it), voice work and more. He's my hero is what i'm saying so join me under the cut for this ill advized self indulgent mega list honoring the man's career
A few things off the bat: This list is my opinon. I shoudln't have to say that but it's the internet equilvent of that warning thing from the start of Jackass: no one whose going to get frothingly upset at this list is going to listen to it but I have to put it in there. These are the songs I consider the best of the best.
This also means some cuts got made, and as such two albums aren't represented here: His self Titled Debut and Even Worse. BOth aren't bad albums and it killed me to have to cut "Such a Groovy Guy and "I Think I"m a Clone Now" respectively, but even with 27 slots this was a VERY hard list. So with that said
27. Like a Surgeon (Dare to Be Stupid)
Starting us off we have one of the classics. This one's simple, silly and hilariously dark as our narrating character is apparently so horrible at his job a lot of people have implicitly died. It's a shock Dr. Nick hasn't recrecorded this with his good friend mr. mccraig
26. Cavity Search (Bad Hair Day)
Bad Hair Day is one of Al's best albums, a nice bit of mid 90's greatness and the start of the growth that would lead to his monumental later albums. It's the most represented on this list with FOUR songs, the most of any (though many have three so don't worry), and each one deserved.
This one made me check out the original song and while a mostly goofy little bit about dentistry parodying U2's Batman Forever theme.... a sentence that reminds me why I do this job, somehow, it's still solid with Al nicely mimicking Bono.... though how he surivived the amount of smug he'd have to injest to do that is beyond me.
25. Attack of the Radioactive Hamsters From A Planet Near Mars (UHF)
UHF was a great film and naturally had a great if very loose soundtrack. Only three songs actually show up in the movie: the title track, "Let Me Be Your Hog", and "Money For Nothin (Beverly Hillbillies) and a few sound clips. That didn't stop the album from being as good as the film though and this song is proof.
This song is classic al sillyness, being all in the title which we hear plenty. It's every bit as glorious and stupid as it sounds, in particular them coming in ships "shaped just like cuban cigars". Sure they destroyed the world and are are going to turn us all to goop but you have to admit their pretty cute. The guitar for this flim is impressive. It's a 50's b-movie al style and I badly hope he makes it into a real one some day. Speaking of which...
24. Nature Trail to Hell in 3-D (In 3D)
In 3D was Al's breakout album and for good reason: while he'd make far better albums as his career went on, In 3D is where he starts to have the polish we've come to know after the rough but charming first album. It only has one entry on this list but said entry is a doozy.
I already loved Nature Trail to Hell when I first heard it but becoming a horror fan makes me love it all the more as Al lovingly spoofs the 80's slasher boom with a fake trailer, with Al talking about all the gory things that are going to happen in such an over the top way you can't help but burst a spleen laughing, and the angelic chorus of NATURE TRAIL TO HELL IN 3D! just clinches it for me. Another one that really could be a film. Given the reception Weird's getting it's not out of the question.
23. Handy (Mandatory Fun)
Mandatory Fun was sadly Al's last studio album, with Al moving onto singles. We did get a soundtrack Album for Weird, but from the looks of it it's mostly the score, a few updated versions of old classics for Daniel Radcliff to lipsynch to. I can't blame him, the album format simply dosen't work as well for Parody these days and he's clearly found other stuff to do, but I do miss getting a guaranteed bit of al weirdness every three years and only got to enjoy an album coming out twice.
Thankfully Mandatory Fun is a great note to go out on and showed he still got it. Case in point we've all long since forgotten Iggy Izalea.. but his parody of her breakout and only hit "Fancy", Handy, is still a banger, with Al having terrific flow and a wonderfully stupid premise of rapping about plumming. The speed he ratttles things off at sometimes is insane.. though FAR from the fastest he'll rattle off about handy man stuff. We'll get to that.
22. UHF (Straight Out of Lynwood UHF)
UHF was a film that deserved a catchy theme and damn if it didn't get it. It's a simple "watch the station" type anthem that dosen't make complete sense as that's not the stations name, but dosen't have to as it's well done, hilarous, original and will NEVER leave your head. Belivie me i've had 20 doctors try.
21. Amish Paradise (Bad Hair Day)
I might get some flak for this one. Not for putting it on the list, but for putting it so low. While I feel there's 20 songs better than this one it dosen't make Amish Paradise any less awesome. Taking a serious rap number about gang violence and a good song in it's own right and making it into an Amish Brag Rap that lightly pokes fun at the Amish while not really bashing them takes the kind of mad genius Al is to put together. His suprisingly impressive flow at rap also shows again during the section at the end "Raised a bar on sunday, then i'll raise another!'. IT's once again Al taking an utterly stupid idea and not only making it work but making it a stone cold classic.
20. Do I Creep You Out? (Straight Outta Lynwood)
And not one entry later i'm going to say something that's going to annoy a LOT of you: White and Nerdy isn't on this list. It's excellent and al once again shows off his impressive flow and ablitlty to talk let alone rap at a speed few can match, but ultimately I just found other songs were better.
That said it's album, Straight Outta Lynwood is well represented here and is one of Al's best if not THE best. Relistneting to it for this album I forgot just how solid it is and how many classics it has.
This one I admit is partly for personal reasons: see the song being parodied, the THANKFULLY forgotten "Do I Make You Proud?" was EVERYWHERE and played CONSTANTLY on radio stations, at weddings, funerals, public bathrooms. You could not escape this incredibly schmaltzy, incredibly stupid song. It was long, droning and it was terrible.
So it's no shock that not only did Al do it better, but made it hilarious. Do I Creep You Out? isn't Al's first stalker song, the other being Melanie, but this one is less creepy by being more over the top. The stuff the narrator does is IMMENSELY creepy, but the shchmaltzy tone makes it still work today despite stalking being taken as seriously as it should and to Al's credit it's clear he takes the creepy shit his character is doing seriously... he just makes it funny by putting it in the context of a schmaltzy love ballad. It's what he does.
Oh and if your wondering about the image Al did the video with Jib Jab, who you also rightfully forgot and who i'm not bothering to research as the quality for the video is low, but it still works for the image of Al dressed as Aaron Hicks.
19. Foil (Mandatory Fun)
Another great song from the final stretch for Al, Foil works entirely thanks to it's bait and switch. The first half is about foil, seeming to be another of Al's food based parodies.. until he starts rattling off about conspiracies. The abrupt shift combined with the contrast with the nice light tones borrowed from Royals makes this a modern classic. The video dosen't hurt either, with Al going nuts on air, Patton Oswalt playing a lizard man and catchy backup singers. Good stuff.
18. Captain Underpants Theme (Captain Underpants: The Epic First Movie Soundtrack)
The only song not from one of Al's Al-Bums on the list is this banger of a theme song for a mediocre film based on a classic book series.
Given Al was brought up in the first book, it's only fitting George and Harold's patron saint did the theme song.
Naturally Al tackles it with all his enthusiasm and ham, perfectly matching the property. Summing it up as a "freaky bald dude in his underwear" is fitting. It's cheesy, it's smooth as hell, and it's perfect. It's a shame the cartoon that followed didn't use this awesome as hell theme and hopefully if there's ever another film they don't repeat the same mistake.
17. Ringtone (Alpocalypse)
Alpocalypse was the first Al-Bum I got to listen to after it came out and it was a great one to start on, with tons of all timers, parodies of stuff I knew at the time, and general fun. The cover of Al as a horseman of the apocalypse just clinches it.
Ringtone was always going to be a faviorite of mine as it parodies one of my faviorite bands: Queen gets the Al treatment for the third time, but unlike his previous parody and tribute, this one just uses the style to create the tale of a man who picked a really rotten ringtone. Al once again talks really fast and it works, and combined with his deft and smooth as hell Piano work makes for a breezy, rediculous rock opera sounding track.
16. I"ll Sue Ya (Straight out of Lynnwood)
I don't really know Rage Against the Machine well, but I absolutely Love al's parody which itakes angry white boy rock and puts it to frivolous lawsuits. if that sentence dosen't make you laugh I question how you got this far itno the article. The increasingly stupid lawsuits (my faviorite being "I swallowed a nerf ball and nearly choked to death), combined with the angry tone just make this majestic to hear.
15. Living With a Hernia (Polka Party)
Living in America was an instant classic, as was it's rediuclous and entirley out of left field performance during Rocky IV. So having already parodied Rocky himself, the song was a great fit.
Once again it's al taking a direction in making fun of the song you wouldn't think, using Brown's deep voice and cries as signs of a medical condition. Making this joyous song about Hernias was a bold strategy but it paid out. What really sells this one for me is that Al does one hell of a james brown, perfectly capturing the legendary singers shouty voice. The best Al Parodies are where he really sounds like the artist (while still having his own distinct voice as part of it) and this is one of his finest examples.
14. Party in the Cia (Alpocalypse)
Another one that shows the simple formula al uses: Take a popular song, find something totally batshit that contrasts with the beat.
The fact he uses this formula a LOT but it hasn't gotten that old speaks to his creatvity and borderline insanity: anyone could parody Party in the USA, it was everywhere, Miley Cirus was an easy target at the time, and it was annoying. But making it about the CIA and having cheerful lyrics about "tourturing the folks we don't like" and "hand me that microfilm buddy will you, i'd tell you why but i'd have to kill you. Al just has this weird brand of humor that's unique, can get suprisingly dark but is also fairly wholesome. He'll sing about waterboarding sure but in a goofy cheerful way that makes it go down easy. He did the same with the end of all of humanity. It's just who he is and why I loves him so much.
13. eBay (Poodle Hat)
Another easy target as Ebay had become a big deal by 2003 and the Backstreet Boys had just finished being one (As a young me can attest). Ebay comes from Poodle Hat, easily one of Al's most underated albums. It probably dosen't help Eminem blocked the album because he didn't like Couch Potato making fun of me. While I do like some of Em's music come on man.... you dressed up like robin the year before this. Which was objectively funny (and I say that as a fan of all 5 of them)
But you can't wear this and then get mad when someone pokes fun at you for something different. He didn't block the parody but like.. blocking the video didn't do good for the album and is still one of the few dick moves i've seen directed Al's way.
Anyways Ebay is great, perfectly summing up how it feels to shop ebay and spoofing joes like me who buy "useless crap" off there all the time. We salute you for giving us a theme al. Granted I have no real desire for a Dukes of Hazzard Ash Tray but given in the past few months i've bought several books, a deck of yugioh cards, and more I'm not exactly that much higher up.
12. Waffle King (Alapalooza)
Alapalooza has a great cover, name and Freddy Mercury Tribute Polka.. and not much else. It very narrowly made the cut, as it'sone of al's weaker albums.. but it did manage to give us one glorious banger.
In the style of Peter Gabriel, Al embodies a weirdo who fines the perfect waffle recipie and then goes mad with power as everyone marvels over it and bows to the waffle king. Al really gets to ham it up here and the fun chords and wonderful chorus really sell this one. Plus as the late great Richard Thompson once said Waffles are just comedic gold and given Weird Al was able to make an entire song about it without coming off obnoxious, he was right god rest him.
11. Everything You Know Is Wrong (Bad Hair Day)
A simple one: this one's just Al getting every bit as weird as he can while breaking reality over his knee to a catchy upbeat tune. If this dose'nt sum up his whole career I don't know what does.
10. Smells Like Nirvana (Off the Deep End)
Off the Deep End came while Al was in a bit of a slump. As detailed in his autobiography, Al was having a bit of trouble getting his mojo back and was desperate for a number one to go with his latest album.
After being gently rebuffed by Micheal Jackson, who didn't want to ruin the message of his song black or white (especailly when he could do it just dandy himself), Al thankfully caught a break that revivied his spark when he heard one of the defining songs of the ninties.. and coudln't make a single word out.
Smells Like Nirvana is more about how Kurt Cobain was not the easiest speaker to understand, something we all can relate to. From talking about "Marbles in his mouth" to making a few jabs at the band themselves, the song is a faviorite of us weird al fans for a reason, and the video only helps. Putting Al in a Kurt Cobain outfit was never not going to be pure comedy gold. Add in weird sound effects and Al perfectly matching the beat and tone of the original despite not remotely using Cobain's mumbly and you have a classic that the late great mr. cobain himself UTTERLY loved and rightfully felt was his we made it moment.
9. The Saga Begins (Running With Scissors)
Another one and done album, I still love Running with Scissors (Jerry Springer ONLY didn't make it because some of the outdated language used to imitate Jerry can be hard to listen to), and it still got in with one of Al's crowning achievments.
It would be enough to set the plot of the Phantom Menace to American Pie, turning one of the worst movies ever and one of the longest most boring songs ever (don't @ me, it's way too damn long and should know it), into one of Al's best. Like most Al Stuff something that probably shouldn't work works perfectly. The chorus of "My my this here anikin guy maybe vader someday later but he's just a small fry" works so well. It somehow tops his already brilliant parody of Lola , Yoda. (which BARELY didn't make the list)
What's most impressive though is HOW the song came about: through what he could dig up through fansites and only went to the pre screening. And George Lucas , famously not someone to listen to critics... smiled and loved it while Al himself cheered as "i'm going to be a jedi" happened to be a line in the film. PUtting in this much work to perfectly get a song down about a movie before it actually HAPPENED and getting it right is just one of manyr easons this man fucking rocks.
8. This is The Life (Dare To Be Stupid)
Dare To Be Stupid had more to offer than just the title track and while I already shared one great song from it earlier, it still has two more in the tank. And while you can probably guess the next one This is The Life is a criminally underated song, the tale of a smug man bragging about how rich he is. Al's fast upbeat tone, the fun lyrics and just general goofiness make this one of my faviorites and always a joy to listen to while mocking the hell out of the one percent.. which Al probably is at this point but that's okay man we love ya anyway.
7. Dog Eat Dog (Polka Party
Polka Party is a decent Al-Bum, but it's easy standout is this stylistic parody of one of my faviorite bands: The Talking Heads. Like my hatred of "Do I Make You Proud?", i'm not hiding my bias here: while I always liked this song even before being a Talking Heads Head, just how spot on it is and how Al somehow mimicks Dave Byrne's hammy yet entirely calm style of singing. Even for him mimicking Byrne is an Achivement
Dog Eat Dog, while hilariously spoofing office life, really feels like a lost Talking Heads song. Singing about how much you love the office and jelly donuts and need your liquid paper, where's your liquid paper sounds exactly like something David Byrne would do and thus it's only inches into parody.. but in a way that works. David Byrne would do this and that's why it's so damn funny.
6. I Was Only Kidding (Off the Deep End)
Off the Deep End was pretty great, but it's triumph was not mocking Nirvana (though it was still awesome), but an original number by Al where one supreme dick tells his girlfriend his deep declrations of love were one joke. The sheer manic Al's character takes in this incredibly cruel act combined with the implication he gets shot for his bullshit makes this great enough.. but once again adding in a choir elevates an al song from good to
5. The Night Santa Went Crazy (Bad Hair Day)
Bad Hair Day ends it's reign on this list with a classic. Do I really have to explain why this one is so fun? Dark? yes. Violent? Yes. Utterly hilarious yes. While Santa is evil is an easy take and santa going serial killer has been the subject of several films jollily tlaking about how he murders everyone in sight and his wife's selling the movie rights just works for me. It's right up there with other christmas classics for me.
4. Dare To Be Stupid (.... guess)
A supreme ode to idiocy with a catchy beat, nice squeaky and hammy vocals alternating when needing, and a manic pace that never lets up it's no wonder that this is one of the best tracks in the already all timer Transformers the Movie Soundtrack and still went on to headline it's own album. IT's fast paced, non stop hilarious, and throughly stupid. It's the best. Well not really we have three more to go but it's one of them.
3. Genius in France (Poodle Hat
Al wrote a few epics in his later career, Starting with Albequrque (which isn't on the list, dont' throw things please and thank you) But while all four are great, again please don't throw things, I gave it to my faviorite. Al has managed to make one joke premises into 80 joke songs, it's most of this list in fact but making a 13 minute epic with switching song types about french sterotypes and idiocy jokes that never lets up and I can never not nlisten to the whole thing. That's a true genius, even if it likely wasn't recorded in france. Every time I get bored, the song switches up to keep my attention, and comes up with some new and clever way to make fun of the singers intellgence or french sterotypes. It never stops. If you listen closely you'll still hear it playing on the ends. A true masterpiece that al rightfully still plays in concert that I don't feel nearly gets the love it deserves.
2. Close But No Cigar (Straight Outta Lynwood)
Yet another style parody of a band I like. What a shocker. I don't have the devotion to Cake I do to Queen or The Talking Heads, but their still neat and Al for the 90th time this list perfectly apes their style. It's stuff we've seen if good stuff
What elevates this one is the subject, being about a guy who keeps seeming to find his dream girl only to get hung up on some very stupid flaw like using infer instead of imply or one earlobe being too big. TH ebuild up to WHAT he's going to have his problem, the kicking chorus nad the cool as hell breakdown all make this one that's close to number one.. but no cigar. Also yes the video is good if sadly made by a pedophile.
Hardware Store (Poodle Hat)
Number one goes to a true classic. one every al fan knows by heart.. well at least up to the part where he fucking explodes, rattling off about 80 diffrent objects in the span of two minutes to the point even HE can't do it live.
Before that it's the simple but charming tale of a guy whose excited his town's getting a hardware store. The dorky midwest charm of just being excited something new is opening is something I relate to and this song captures that beautifully. Granted i'm not a tool guy but whatever you like you can relate to seeing "all this stuff " and rattling off a list in your head, and the sheer joy, infectious chorus and of course that fucking bridge make this number one eaisly. It's goofy, it's simple yet complex.. it's weird al. The once and future polka king. Thanks for reading, you can find this whole list on spotify HERE
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