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acidthecorvid · 2 months

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this is gonna be a really unwelcome take but.

...chapa has a really good mom. im sorry to say it.

her mom is genuinely caring and wants to help her daughter but it comes off as danger because of chapa's inherit personality and reaction towards this type of affection

YOU GOTTA HEAR ME OUT FOR THIS ONE [and like really hear me out. this is a long one. sorry 😭]

lets just take it from the way she treats Bose and Sage. Chapa is known for being the angry and violent character and yet she's able to switch on this sort of almost motherly compassion when either of those two are distraught in some form. It's fully reasonable to determine that these are behaviors she's learned in her own home, based on the way her whole family paused their world to comfort Sage when she lost her imaginary friend. chapa's mom behaves the same as the other parents with the exception of being a little more stern which is normal when you're child frequently acts out and literally gets arrested for fun. there really isnt anything about their relationship to imply that the household is dysfunctional in anyway, in fact it implies the opposite but i'll come back to that later.

the two points that come first to mind in proving chapa is living in a dysfunctional household are (A). Chapa attempted to hide the fact that she has parents and (B). Her mom has canonically stated that Sage is her favorite child but hear me out these arent points that can be used to say that her mom is in anyway cruel or uncaring. her mother is literally normal

Point (A). proves that her parents genuinely care about her. Like, I want you to really think about what happened in that scene. Yes, she did go on this crazy facade of lying about her parental status, but thats because its nickelodeon and everything is exaggerated. Later in the episode she admits to lying about having parents due to not wanting her friends to make fun of her parents for being dorks. Honestly, if her parents were dysfunctional in some way they literally would've just said that. It couldn't have been censored due to it being a kids show based on characters like Bose and his dad, Jasper and his mom, and even Andre from victorious and his grandma. Chapa's parents, upon learning that there was a family night at school, dropped everything to attend [like, think about it. it was late at night. they were probably at home enjoying jeopardy when they noticed theyre daughter had just. vanished.] Also true that they went through her stuff to learn about the parent night, but this is proven to be a normal thing [although that does suck we can all agree that it sucks thats normalized] as the rest of the parents admit to doing it as well. I know what you're thinking. "Oh but Acid, she was clearly uncomfortable upon her parents arrival and was super uncomfortable when they went in to hug her" Yeah. That's cause that's Chapa De Silva. When has she ever been ok with affection of any form that wasn't from the core three or Sage.

Point (B) [and the one that gets me the most riled up] is literally. Normal. It's normal for parents to have favorites. Like yeah, it sucks. But it's normal. We have to take it into consideration the fact that Alejandra did absolutely everything in her power not to admit to Sage being her favorite. It had to be pried out of her with a truth ray, and even then how could she have known that her other daughter was in the room listening to her mother admit to preferring her younger sibling? But look at it from Alejandra's perspective. Imagine having two daughters, one of which is this absolute sweet heart, who is kind, caring, has a big heart and an even bigger imagination. And then your other daughter who has anger issues, violent ideas, outbursts, and frequently gets in trouble. Admit it, you'd likely prefer Sage as well.

"Oh but Acid what about their argument at the beginning of season three?" ...bro the one about the fact that chapa was getting arrested for shits and giggles? dude if i was a parent id also keep my child on a tighter leash if she got arrested twenty times in a row [exaggerated number i realize. but still.]

we need to appreciate that though all this, her parents have been caring and supportive of their daughter improving and getting better. canonically they had her in anger management, and were extremely open to the idea of family therapy when ray made a joke about it. and its been working! its noticeable that chapa has changed based on how differently she responds to violence in season one verses in season three. theyve been working as a family. and its been working.

i think the reason this makes me so mad is because we use chapa's parental status to justify the way she acts but like. theres nothing wrong with saying chapa has a problem and just needed help. like her personality doesnt have to be justified by saying she was abused. theres literally nothing wrong with being born that way and just needing some help. thats why this makes me so angry.

yall want her to be john bender so badly. bffr. [if yall dont know who john bender is get off my blog rn im being dead serious]

"oh acid why do you care so much why does it matter?"

*mamas boy playing faintly in the distance*

iykyk

#in this essay i will-#PROUD ALEJANDRA SUPPORTER #come at me for that this take i dare you #this actually makes me so mad #hc what you want but i felt the need to express this opinion #genuinely if chapa had bad parents she wouldve just said that.#typing this made me stupidly emotional #because i have the same relationship with my mom that bose has with his #if you get my drift #danger force #dangerverse #chapa de silva

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jaemified · 8 months

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world of my own - kwon soonyoung

track 001 - “you ever wonder what couldve happened if what hadnt happened, happened?”

pairing ; best friends kwon soonyoung x fem reader

genre ; romance, (kinda?) angst, unreciprocated love, starcrossed lovers, right person wrong time, multiverse, very very VERY vaguely inspired by alice in wonderland (and kindaa in a way wandavision)

warnings ; swearing, y/n daydreams a lot, too little too late 😞😞

wordcount ; 1.2k

synopsis ; in a place which you fall into your own dreamland with the one who was meant to be the love of your life, the discussion gets highly theoretical (and not to mention, emotional)

note - counterfactual thinking whoo cz im minoring in econ wooo

read below the cut !

youd be lying if you said you hadnt thought of him in that way.

i mean, how could you not?

kwon soonyoung. he’s perfect inside and out. such a sweetheart, kindest person you’d ever met.

but, he had been rather distant lately.

it was almost a miracle he reached out to you.

of course, you were curious as to why, especially since it was so out of the blue. but you held your tongue.

so, he called you out to your favorite park, sitting under the big willow tree you two always spent the summers under when you were much younger, counting the stars and watching the hours tick by.

the tree was so old now, seeing as it had been around long before both of your guys’ parents were.

soonyoung jumped up from his spot to greet you with a nice hug, “glad you came.” he said as he pressed his lips into a smile.

“course i did. we’re meant to stay together arent we?”

he sat down on the blanket which lined up with the old tree trunk, resting his back up against it.

a few moments of silence passed before you spoke up.

“why did you call me here?” you queried as you examined the tree, brushing your fingers over the now faint initials both you and soonyoung carved into the trunk.

“just wanted to spend time with you, genuinely. i know ive been distant and i can’t make up for the time wasted, but i can end the pattern now, you know.”

“id doubt you’d call me here of all places just to ‘talk’.” you scoffed.

“just missed you is all.” he mumbled as he pulled you into a side hug, letting his head rest in the space between your shoulder and neck.

“missed you too. more than youd realize.” you replied back, keeping the last bit to yourself.

though you grew distant despite being inseparable until two years ago, you could never grow a grudge against him.

so you thought.

but, here you two were. spending the day talking under that same tree just like how you spent most of your childhood.

you caught each other up through a recap of your last few years, until sundown, when soonyoung asked of a pretty theoretical question.

“you ever wonder what couldve happened if what hadnt happened, happened?”

you stared blankly at him, blinking mindlessly.

you were still like that for a good few seconds, before muttering a quick “what?”.

“do you ever think about what couldve happened if things were different between us?” he rephrased.

“oh. as much as id hate to admit it, i do. or did. imagining about what could and couldnt be. but the past is in the past, and what happened can’t be undone.” you explained to soonyoungs curious eyes.

“what did you imagine we could’ve been?” he asked so nonchalantly, with little to no hesitation required.

“what?”

“in a world where things worked out, what couldve happened to you and me?” soonyoung asked once more.

“i..” you droned off.

“you don’t have to answer now,” he began with a soothing voice, “just think about it. and tell me what happens when we wake up.”

with that, soonyoung laid his back directly onto the ground with his folded up sweater to act as a pillow.

he pulled you to rest on his chest, wrapping an arm tight around your waist.

you tried getting up, only to be pulled back down. ��soonyoung..”

“please? stay with me just this once.”

“i have to go.”

“just one more time before i have to leave for good? i don’t know when ill get to see you next. i don’t know where we’ll stand after today.”

you sighed in defeat, before sitting back down and resting into soonyoungs chest once more.

“just this once..” you mumbled, before drifting off into your indefinite state of slumber.

“in a world where things worked out, what couldve happened to you and me?”

soonyoungs words continuously ran across your mind, coursing through your thoughts endlessly, even in your sleep.

you were always quite the heavy sleeper, it was no wonder your dreams were always so realistic you slept the way you did.

you were much aware of the multiverse, as was soonyoung. the topic alone always intrigued you, the possibility of endless scenarios playing out in your mind; and the fact they could be real, yet only in another universe

the thought of dreaming in this world while being awake in another terrified you, but intriguing in the same sense.

every time you drift off into an indefinite slumber, you realize how much you’ve taken for granted in life after seeing the cruel reality thats shown only through dreams, watching your greatest desires be taken out of your reach every time you awake.

“in a world where things worked out, what couldve happened to you and me?”

the words repeated over an over throughout the duration your dream. a good one, but too vivid, it was almost cruel the feeling you felt once you realized it wasnt real.

you and soonyoung were the perfect couple. you were happy and it seemed nothing could go wrong, you were in a serious, long lasting, and healthy relationship.

everything was perfect, it was everything you could ever ask for and more.

he was everything you could ask for and way more.

you don’t think you’ve ever been so happy.

however, that would only happen in a world of your own.

a world where you could be happy.

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rigil-kentauris · 6 months

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9 people you’d like to get to know better

tagged by @valerianvault

Three Ships: JUST THREE???

i am ALSO on that ffxiv juice and as yall MAY have guessed from all my aymericposting its wol/aymeric.

id be here all night if i did ffxiv ships so moving on.

hm.

ffxiv has really taken oven my brain space huh? tbqh the other games im playing rn arent big shipping arenas for me. what do you ship in frostpunk? coal x generator fics i suppose. if youve got time to fuck youve got time to truck in some more steel from the steel pile. extended shifts for everyone.

this is where i would have put my feh ships if feh wasnt dead to me

well i could put bylad/claude three houses here. power couple of the century. going to get an emulator/mod at some point to restore justice in s supports. i havent got anything against bylass ships but usually the way people write her drives me fucking INSANE.

hm what for three. ugh. ugh. ugh i said no more ffxiv. but i would be lying if - and would LOVE to lie about it though - i would be lying if i tried to act like cidnero hasnt consumed at minimum 15% of my waking thoughts in recent months. its like a fucking perplexus sphere. a very Puzzle. like the rct2(?) roller coaster auto complete function. i WILL figure it out. whatever It is. but everytime i solve a piece another puzzle pops up. gonna reduce this fucking fraction youll see. youll all see.

First Ever Ship: lol. so way back when, my sister was trying to tell me her Lame Older Sister about this cool new thing called shipping. which i was NOT getting at all. and she, i would imagine because of the relative mainstream awareness at the time and the largely practical fact that i knew what marvel movies were, decided to offer the example of 'its like What If iron man and captain america were together'

which i thought was patently silly. i dont remember why now. i think my main objection was that it did not happen, and why would people spend so much time thinking about things that did not happen.

well anyway. tale old as time i thought it was very funny to ironically talk about it. and then it was not ironic anymore. so it goes.

Last Song: well according to my phone music app it was of the night by bastille.

Last Movie: hm what WAS the last movie i watched? i havent watched a movie in a minute. well we're going to be rewatching the gran turismo movie probably tonight. i liked it quite a bit in the theater (went to an empty matinée).

Currently Reading: UGH still slogging through Utopia. im at a part where it seems tommy has lost the thread, so, its difficult. and then my friend wrote a book! and im very excited to read the new draft

Currently Watching: SCAVENGERS REIGN!!!! a very beautiful and thought provoking show about a group of people who get stranded on an alien planet and how they interact with that biosphere and themselves. the animation is beautiful and colorful. it is on hbo max or whereever you receive hbo products. the last episodes drop today idk if i can handle it

Currently Consuming: nothing because i just woke up. im going to haul myself out of bed for some frosted shredded miniature wheats soon i hope

Currently Craving: anything but frosted shredded miniature wheats. bacon cheese egg wrap. chocolate chip brioch bun. pasta. hm i might be hungry. lets say Food

Tagging: @czigonas @plaidypus @lieutenantk thanks for joing me on my breadmaking saga yesterday.

#guess how many times ive built the brothel in frostpunk ONLY ONCE SUCK AND FUCK? MORE LIKE LETS PICK UP. THE PACE.#WRAP UP WELL? UH YEAH? THE COLD ISHERE #about me #ask games

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ainti-pretty · 18 days

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Hello! I was wondering if you have any advice for a high school student who’s thinking about balancing APUSH and advanced bio in the same year? I know what the general workload for the bio class is but all I’ve heard about APUSH is that it’s horrible and I shouldn’t do it. I would say I’m quite good at history and think the class will be a good challenge for me, but I also don’t want to try and do too much in the same year.

if you enjoy history, i would reccommend apush if you think it will be worth your time and youll enjoy. same goes for bio! it really depends on why you are taking the courses: is it something you feel obligated to do, or is it something you think would be beneficial and youd be willing to spend extra time doing?

i took apush, and i really enjoyed it. but i also had the benefit of a incredible teacher. i also got a 5 on the exam as well, if that adds to my credibility. and theres plenty of helpful study guides out there (including one on @dear-ao3 by saph).

i didnt take advanced bio, so i cannot offer that much advice other than what i said above. if you really enjoy something, and think you'll benefit, id say go for it. if you are doing it to appease people and you dont want to put in extra effort for it, id say focus your energy on doing something in enjoyable. high school is really difficult (or at least it was for me) and i think not over burdening yourself IS very important. i think it also depends on what year you are- if youre a senior and having to do college stuff (if that is your plan) or youre looking into post-highschool things, id reccommend really making sure you arent overworking yourself.

your time shouldnt completely be spent with schoolwork. anyone who says that is lying to you, and you will burn out. give yourself time to have a actual life and have hobbies, but also don't shy from a challenge if you think its beneficial and you'll enjoy it.

i hope my advice is helpful, and if you have any follow up questions feel free to ask!!!

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sirotras · 2 months

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14, 21, & 35 for the xiv asks? 💖

thank you!!

14. Of the Scions, who are they most worried for?

i think i might have answered this one before the last time i rb'ed this ask meme? but im too lazy to go dig that up lmao.

so to answer: the twins probably! she knows they're very strong and capable, she doesnt so much worry about them in that regard, but theyre also still so young! she would like to spare them what hardship she can, and she feels responsible for them to some degree,

also id be lying if I didnt include thancred, considering some of his more worrying self sacrificial tendencies, esp during SHB (tho tbh its like looking in a mirror w/ these two)

15. Are there any raid storylines (Ivalice, Coil of Bahamut, Werlyt, etc.) you consider to be canon for your WoL? Which ones don't you consider canon?

I think id consider most of them canon! esp things like the coils and eden raids. even when the stories arent my fave (sorry ivalice, i just never think of you) they still have important moments!

... that said i just finished the alexander raids and.... well.

35. How do they feel about the fact that they've killed a lot of people and/or things?

oh, uh, not good!! she knows there are a lot of times where she didnt have another option, but she wished she did. she doesnt want to let herself get to the point where she just brushes those deaths off. i dont think she could live with herself is she did

#myreia #asks #nadezda oksinova #meredith plays ff14

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fictionfixations · 2 years

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ShadowHunters / Book Series / Thoughts

spoilers. also ive read this book a bit ago but didnt have this blog. also ive read i think some shadowhunter series besides the Dark Artifices, Tales from the ShadowHunter Academy, The Bane Chronicles, Ghosts of the Shadow Market, The Eldest Curses (and Chain of Thorn too but I dont think thats out yet)

woah thats a lot

anyway

SO. From the series I've read, I like it. I really like the world building too, and in two of the series I've read they're of 'normal' people who are unaware of the demons and encounter ShadowHunters. except the truth was is that they have shadowhunter blood in them from this angel i cant remember the name of

The Infernal Devices(?) which I believe is with Tessa(?) where theres Will Herondale and Jem Carstairs, and well theres like a sorta love triangle but Jem is kinda addicted against his will to this drug thats slowly killing him because of a demon

and Will.. has a thing against ducks or somethin (i think it runs in the family) i wont really expand on that

but so. its.. interesting?? It was the first series that got me into the ShadowHunters world, and honestly, the description caught me off guard. Cause so she was visiting her brother in this other place? Country??? i dont remember anymore, but so then I think this person claims that they are her brother's friend and will bring her to him but then it derails and shes held captive..? and then she has like this power that gets uncovered and shes like a warlock but without a mark because i think her mom had shadowhunter blood but her mom never got any marks (that enhance stuff basically) that youd have gotten first when you were younger by the Brothers....? i cant remember the name of them

But so .. i dont know, it just- it sounded like one of those stories where the plot completely goes off the rails and it makes like zero sense and honestly wasn't sure if i wanted to read it..? but i gave it a try and honestly, no regrets there. i liked it and i kept reading it.

also jem almost fuckin dying made me want to cry. I think Will got in a fight cause his.. i dont remember the name of it but they were like bonded so they could call on the others strength but you cant undo it and you cant get another one

but I think Will was willing to die and i just.. *sobbing* but id be lying if I said a part of me didnt want it to happen because I just like.. angst man- NAND THEN JEM WAS ALIVE BUT HE WAS ONE OF THE BROTHERS AND *sobs*

i think in the epilogue or something Will and Tessa get married but eventually Will dies, but Tessa being kinda immortal still lives, and then Jem comes along because hes HEALED from the drug and he left the brothers and he has black hair instead of white because his white hair was from the drug

AND HE CAN FINALLY BE HUMAN AND CAN LOVE because the brothers cant get married

and like..

i didnt understand it but then i read the OTHER series, but before i get into that.. honestly isnt jem going to die now that hes.. mortal? and tessa will still be alive, without either of her loves.

NOW. so I didn't understand how he got cured, but then the other series happened where theres Clary and like.. damn that shit long

but so. clary and Jace

they catch feelings

THEY MIGHT BE SIBLINGS???

but then it turns out they arent

BUT IT TURNS OUT CLARY KISSED HER FUCKIN BROTHER (sEBASTIAN????) and now i understand the feeling of wrongness and i just

holy fucking SHIT

also THERES LIKE FUCKIN CHILD EXPERIMENTATION KIND OF???? it just HIT me that the dad who i cant remember the name of fuckin.. put demon blood and angel blood into food and drinks and gave it to pregnant mothers so they birth a child who has more power and like

IT WAS EXPERIMENTATION KINDA

does it count as drugging?

???----

no but what the fuck

also jaces like parents are dead and the dad of clary and sebastian like took out the baby from the mom and i just

what the fuck

ALSO DID JACE DIE???? AND THEN HE GOT BROUGHT BACK TO LIFE WAHT THE FUCK

also SIMON turned into a vaMPIRE AND IM SO FUCKIING LOST BUT I UNDERSTAND IT BUT IT SOUNDS SO WEIRD WHEN YOU ACTUALLY TYPE IT OUT

jesus christ

also the last hours or whats its series name

i cried at the end i admit it

i dont really have much to say there because i actually cant remember much- i remember what happened but i cant remember character names its awful but its good but it pain

edit: for some reason i forgot there was a 2nd book and that the third thats not out yet was the last im dumb im sorry wtf

#shadowhunters #thoughts #infernal devices #mortal instruments #last hours

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broken-in-chains · 1 month

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qlso some cute reminders xoxo

saying "u dont love me the way i love u" is manipulation especially in a venting sense

funny and cute how yknow you both woudl shit talk each other 2 me constantly and yknow one of you lied saying id laugh at someones loved one dying oh and does he know you wrote 2 documents about him? all the things u said about him? idc if he knows what i said about him LOL go ahead and excuse ur behavior and now ur both besties again?? lol good job covering that shit up

its totally not like yknow you both fucking fakeclaimed me in 2021 and then in 2023 did it again like good job being real guys and coming up with excuses for shitty behavior like its a thing to do like how tf would you two feel if i said that shit about yall

another reminder that uhm yknow ur a fucking hypocrite lying and saying shit meanwhile ur "communicating" is one sided and forceful + borderline fucking abusive also ur fucking ego needs a check up like get a fucking grip dawg

if you 2 fucking read these LOL i hope it hurt because both of you say i need help??? look in a mirror and realize ur romanticizing + demonizing ur own mental health issues AND failing to realize i have friends with the same shit and they learned to cope in ways that arent fucking abusive and actually understand me and let me talk and explain instead of silencing me, walking all over me, throwing shit out of fucking proportion, covering up their shit and everything else the both of you fucking did.

i despise you both and you both wish me the worst, like wow. whos the child here now? "i was the best u will ever have" you fucking went womp womp during a serious conversation and refused to let me talk and explain. womp womp right back at ya L + ratio too you skibidi ohio

get a fucking grip and wake the hell up. both of you act like children and then blame your mental disorders on it all. if you realize the fucking issue then WORK ON IT and dont expect your FP to be a fucking therapist to you because theyre a fucking person. theyre not a god, theyre not the healer to your life, they aint gonna solve all ya problems. theyre a person who has wants and needs of their own and suffocating them in all that responsibility drains their mental health, sanity and more.

also, i wasnt able to leave because of attachment. trauma bond, remember? my mindset of "i have to fix everyones problems" due to it all? yeah, thats a fucking thing. i was forced to be the ONLY PERSON HE HAD, ACTUAL QUOTE BTW AND DONT ACT LIKE IT AINT

both of you did this shit to me. pushed everything onto me. knew i couldnt say no or defend myself.

never fucking talk to me again, both of you are vile and have such fucking inflated egos its unhealthy as fucking SHIT. get your heads out of your asses

and just to mock you, imma end it with this

WOMP WOMP

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justalilpearlie · 3 months

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hi guys dont mind me being insane again

im not tagging this too much cus its more of a personal ramble cus idk im feelin silly today and the BPD hits too hard. i wont be explainin what BPD is either so if u dont know either look it up or ignore this post,,

man i. have you ever loved someone so much you cry? /pos

like man i. its not romantic, may i clarify. most of my fps, except for my main one, are platonic. one of them is familial even

but i just. i feel like such a parasocial freako but i genuinly feel so intensely. its so positive too. if you ignore the crippling paranoia i always have abt my fps hating me or me being so intense they get uncomfortable...

but i just??? im not. normal about them.

i dont wanna sound creepy but they make my world so much better. id take a bullet from them. if give anything for them to be alright. i genuinly just REALLY enjoy their company and knowing theyre having fun with me aswell. knowing they enjoy me as a person. that im not a nuisance for the people i love the most.

and gosh i really hope they dont see this. i would feel so ashamed and embarassed if they did.

luckly i have better ways of copying with distress, attachment issues, jealousy, possesiveness, and all that other FUN (not) stuff that comes with BPD or rather specifically having an fp. A nice trustworthy psychologist (if u can afford it) does wonders to you, let me tell you.

its still hard sometimes but ive learnt to deal with it in ways that arent destructive to my relationships with those around me. i can cool down and such instead of lashing out or splitting for the most minimal things.

but now. for whatever reason. i went on a huge "positive" ramble instead. it was meant to be appreciation at the time, and still is, but i feel like its something that couldve scared them off. i showed some stuff to irl friends and online family, and everyone said theyd feel very appreciated if someone told them that stuff, but i cant help but feel is because they're my loved ones also and stuff. i really. really feel like i was too intense. i suck at showing affection in a normal way, a calm way, subtle way, like a normal person.

at this point i think. sigh i think its better if i just say nice things anonymously. i think if people, in general, not only my fps. but if people dont know affection comes from me they'll take it so much better than if they know its *me* in particular. and idk why! its just my brain being stupid again.

brains love doing that, dont they? being stupid. telling you everyone hates you oh so much no matter what you do. that theyre lying behind your back, and hate you in secret, theyre just being polite and allat.

well let me tell you, dear reader, whoever the fuck might read this, specially if its from the bpd tags: thats not true. sure, there might be assholes out there, but those people you think hate you despite how close you are, most likely dont. and i cant even get this through my own head but my sister repeats it to me all the time. "[name] talks so nicely about you and seems so happy seeing you". even then its hard to believe, i gotta stare at nice screenshots ive saved where i believe ive done something good, something worthy of appreciation, something that has not only meaning but an impact, a possitive one. and i know the chances of them actually hating me are low, but i still believe more in those chances than the proof.

i feel a bit delusional in a way. and i mean, i am, often times. but this is one of those thoughts- those god dammed thoughts where you're self aware yet- yet it doesnt shake the feeling away, you know? like no there is no proof, no logical proof at least, only what your mind twists into proof. but you still just "know it", yknow? even if you dont actually know shit and are very wrong. you feel like you do and it- it fucking sucks.

dont even get me started on splits and mood swings, highs and lows. Cause well. THATS NOT THE TOPIC OF THIS POST !! Lmao. i could go on for hours complaining tho. ough.

but yeah!! i just !! sorry, this took a turn. i just. needed to express myself idfk. i'll go back to posting abt minecraft men kissing soon or whatever, sorry normie followers /hj

i love them so much its overwhelming, yet i wouldnt change it for everything in the world, you know? not them. its hard but id rather endure it for them than have them not be THIS level of special to me anymore.

i really REALLY hope theyre not. uncomfortable by it tho. and wont dump me for it. i really wish i had a guide to how to and how to not mess up. so i could avoid doing dumb shit on accident.

and its funny cause theyre ppl that would absolutely tell me if im doing shit that bothers them, yet i believe theres smth else, stupid thoughts man. LEAVE ME ALONE FREDDY MERCURY!! UR SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD !! /ref

sighhhh anyhow yeah im dropping it here. bpd is a bitch. and to anyone out there dealing w it? godspeed. you can do this, i know life already sucks and this shitty dissorder doesnt help, but i know you can push through, mi gente bella.

Pearlo out. BPD hours rlly seem to be hitting at around 11-12 am, huh? /ij

#bpd rambles #bpd fp #bpd thoughts #bpd shit #bpd feels #bpd problems #bpd vent

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unkokurt · 2 years

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I dont know if you will ever see this, and frankly I dont care at this point I just need to get this shit off my chest. I can honestly say that I wish i never met you. I wish I never sent you that message telling you how i really felt after all these years. I shouldve left you unhappy and alone with Devonte. All I got was a girlfriend who neglected my needs and still expected me to meet hers regardless of how she treated me! A girlfriend who didnt take anything i said or felt into consideration. A girlfriend who only put herself first and never cared how it affected me or our relationship, a girlfriend who always played the victim and runs back home when anything goes wrong even if her actions caused it! A girlfriend who was mentally and physically abusive. When i said i deserved better i meant that shit whole heartedly. I repeatedly told you what was bothering me and what needed to change and yet you made no effort at all to fix those things. I guess you feel as if you dont need to do any work on yourself and thats fine, but im good on that bullshit. You gave me crumbs and expected so much in return. You didnt even give the bare minimum literally time, and support! I shouldnt have had to ask for these things to begin with!

I want you to know I didnt leave because of money, it may have been a part of the issue but its far from the main reason I left. I left because you were a bad partner and girlfriend. You were selfish as fuck and just told me what i wanted to hear rather than genuinely fixing the issue, my needs never were a priority. It took what 2 years and a handful of fights and break ups for you to start making time for me? Yet any time you had you’d go spend with friends instead because “we lived together”. Then when id be irritated about it you’d try and make it seem as if i was jealous you had friends! Like nah i was irritated because you never made time for me but will make time for just about anybody else! Why i waited that long for quality time with you is beyond me! All the while supporting us while you finished college! Then the moment you could actually help out. You leave me to fend for myself yet again! Not like id been asking for some financial support for a year and a half +. Your response everytime was “but what about MY savings” like im not paying 4k a month in bills because of you and your fucking “needs”! Then you have the nerve to call me fucking selfish! The funniest part is when you told me “if you had this opportunity you wouldnt take it?” To be real with you, if it meant leaving you to fend for yourself knowing full well you were struggling I wouldnt. But thats why me and you arent the same. I wouldnt make my partners life harder just for some financial gain but i guess thats just me being selfish huh? And honestly you telling me youd do anything to make it work between living with me and your grandmas just to literally do nothing and tell me im on my own was total bullshit. I shouldve just broke things off months ago like i planned. Idk why i listened to you when you said youd do anything because i knew damn well you were lying!

You make me out to be such a bad person and you make all these post on tumblr like “get you somebody whos in the mood for you everyday” guess what I was in the mood for you everyday. I wanted to marry you and have a family the whole 9 yards. But you PUSHED me away and made me resent and hate you. Its wild how you sit there pretending to be a victim in all of this when you literally left me to figure shit out on my own for the fucking millionth time! Like you really thought i wasnt gonna get sick of your shit? You fucked me over and acted like it wasnt a big deal because you were playing savior to your family. That was the final straw for me. You constantly putting EVERYTHING before me, and our relationship. I never wanted to walk away but you left me no choice. You showed me your true colors time and time again, Id have to be a fucking idiot to keep letting you do this shit to me! I just want closure and to move on with my life after spending 10 years wasted on some fantasy relationship that was shit both times around! Same bullshit just 10 years apart. Id say i wish you the best but id be lying. I hope the day you decide to put your all into somebody they break your fucking heart like you did mine! I hope you learn what it feels like to put somebody first just for them to put you last when it really matters. I hope they walk out on you every time you make them upset! I hope you wake up one day and regret ever treating me this way and you have to live with that for the rest of your fucking life! Itll be no surprise to me if none of your future relationships work out if you continue to treat your significant others this way. Nobody wants to be neglected and treated like their replaceable.

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nikrangdan · 3 years

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enhypen x short!reader

pairing: enhypen x short!reader

genre: fluff, comedy

description: how enhypen would react to a short reader!!! this was requested btw i hope u guys like 😁 ive written separate headcanons for sunghoon and jay before but i wrote more here anyways 😏 THERES A COUPLE CUSS WORDS IN HERE

———————

HEESEUNG:

okay lets get this straight

hes literally the tallest member in enha

and then ur the shortest in ur friend group

POWER COUPLE ⁉️⁉️⁉️

im literally crying bc when u guys are standing facing each other heeseung is just looking straight over ur head LIKE UR NOT EVEN IN HIS LINE OF SIGHT

and THIS is why he always has his arm around ur shoulder or he makes sure ur holding onto his arm or smthn

HE WANTS U TO BE WITH HIM AT ALL TIMES BC SOMETIMES HE CANT SEE U☹️☹️☹️

and when hes practicing he likes to bring u up to dance with him

like he holds ur hands and u just try to 💃🏻🕺🏻💃🏻 with justin bieber playing in the background

“i cant dance heeseung u know this” u stare up at him

“i know just vibe to the music~”

he finds it hilarious so hes giggling the whole time u two do a little jiggy

AND THEN HE GETS ALL SOFT AND TURNS U AROUND TO BACKHUG U AND FACE THE MIRRORS and he watches u guys sway back and forth slowly to the music

he loves the height difference and hes always looking at it in mirrors

JAY:

*takes a deep breath* ... JAYYYYYY‼️‼️

he probably mentioned how short u are a couple times when you first met but i dont think he would be the type to constantly point out ur height and tease u or smthn

BUT!!!!! he loves it

alot of clothes you like are often too big for you and hes like

I Am Here To Rescue You From Distress, My Love

Ur so thankful for him!!!

he loves finding clothes for you

shirts arent a big problem its mostly the pants

AND HE LIKES BUYING U PLATFORM SHOES

he says “u look so good”

Jay ur superman 🔥

idk he just thinks ur so cute

he likes to stare at u like 🥰🥰☺️☺️

❤️_❤️

Jay has such big heart eyes for u AAAAAA

when u two are in the kitchen u arent able to reach the high cupboards

SO HE BOUGHT U A HELLO KITTY STOOL

one time he stood on it and was like “y/n look”

you literally almost broke your neck trying to see him because HE WAS SO HIGH IN THE AIR

so high u were like “u got enough oxygen up there⁉️⁉️”

and then he said “u look like an ant” and he started dying at his own joke

But he never pulled that stool stunt again bc u attacked him viciously🤗🤗🤗

JAKE:

Wait im crying already

everytime i write about jake i have to take a break

hes literally too much for my heart

Okay

HE GIGGLE.....

he GIGGLE!!!!!!!

HE GIGGLES AT EVERYTHING U DO

Hes so obsessed with u its not even funny

he probably loves u more than u love him AND HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE BC HES JAKE SIM

His favorite thing ever is when sit in between his legs and ur back against his chest yknow

when u guys watch movies he feeds u popcorn like that

IM GONNA SAY THIS FOR ALOT OF THEM BUT

Head Pats!!!!!

He pats ur head alot or ruffles ur hair alot

and hes just so gentle with u

Ur like his little baby >_<

HIS BIG JACKETS WAIT

Jakes big fluffy bulky jackets

he wants u to wear them

and he

he zips them up all the way and puts the hoodie over ur head

and he just dies of laughter

Ur standing there like 🧍🏻‍♂️

“its getting hot in here jake”

you tried to flick the hood off but the chunky sleeve mixed with ur short arm was not a good combination so you couldnt even raise your arm

That made jake lose it and he just fell to the floor in tears😭

but seeing him so happy made u 🥰☺️ kinda so its okay

SUNGHOON:

Hello hand holder

i say this whenever write for hoon

but this guy🤝🤝🤝

Get those hands ready yall

mmm okay

he probably calls u shorty whenever he teases u

Rude ass 🙄

ur like “😐” and hes like

“im sorry” *attacks u in a very messy and unmannered hug to the point where u fall back onto the couch and almost break ur leg*

i bet he holds stuff up in the air so u have to jump up and attempt to get it😭 so evil

but he doesnt like seeing u suffer for too long so he gives it to u after like 5 seconds 😁

he teases u alot but when ur out in public hes like Bodyguard Hoon

Hes not letting anything happen to u!!!!

once again HES HOLDING UR HAND AT ALL TIMES

one thing he says he doesnt like but we all know hes lying is when u like to jump on his back and force him to give u a piggyback ride

he just accepts it

one time u fell asleep on his back and he was like

“uh y/n”

silence

yeah he eventually plopped u on the couch which woke u up

SUNOO:

Sunoo thinks ur so adorable 💧_💧

like u two could just be sitting next to eachother watching something

and u have ur legs pulled up to ur chest and ur arms wrapped around them with ur chin on ur knees

you hear him giggling to himself

u look over like ......🤨 “what”

“nothing y/n *giggles again* ur just so cute”

ur like Staaaaawwp and u push his shoulder

and then he pushes u back

AND THEN U START FIGHTING

Play fighting ****

u guys laugh so much 😭😭

sunoo likes to talk about you alot

to everyone

literally everyone

to the boys: “omg y/n fell trying to reach the garlic LMAO”

to his mom: “y/n went up to this guy thinking it was me and pushed him it was so funny”

to his instagram: “how did y/n fit through my neighbors doggy door and why”

PLEASE when u two have arguments for fun

u go jump on the couch so u can be taller than him

and u just stare at eachother before bursting out into laughter

he loves to show u off aaaa “heres y/n” ☺️☺️☺️☺️

JUNGWON:

EXPECT TEASING AT LEAST ONCE A DAY

Please i think id cry if i was friends with jungwon (AND NI-KI)

he play too much 😫 he actually has no chill

“can u reach this y/n? or should i carry you *evil laugh*”

but besides from the teasing he adores u so much

and theres some things you arent able to do

But hes so happy to do it for you!!! he loves feeling like hes doing smthn for u

He always has this proud dad look on his face whenever u literally do ANYTHING

u could literally pick a twig off the ground and jungwon would go 😊 thats my y/n

he likes to massage ur legs when ur just chilling on ur bed or smthn

hes got one hand massaging ur legs and his other hand massaging his own legs

“i’ll make us grow taller y/n!”

“what??? you don’t need to be taller jungwon, i do!!” u snatch the hand hes using to massage his own leg and plant it right back on ur own legs

he starts laughing really hard and u think ur the president of comedy now 🔥🔥

he likes feeling tall when hes with u

but he also likes being babied 🙁🙁

Plz give him head kisses and cheek pinches

NI-KI:

This kid is literally a titan

and hes crazy

picks u up BRIDAL STYLE and starts running around the room like an animal

like WHAT ???????

he says its because you’re the only THING around and he needs the exercise

and this kid is a teaser too😫😫

“y/n can you hand me the cereal up there? oh wait you cant”

you turn around like What the hell did u just say...

yeah he got a smacking that day

NO BUT SOMETIMES HE BE TAKING THE JOKES TOO FAR AND RIGHT AFTER HE SAYS IT HES LIKE

“im just kidding i didnt mean it”

Anyways

ni-ki is also very sweet

he offers piggyback rides and makes u little gifts

one time u got a cramp from being on ur tippy toes too long

he was laughing at first but then he saw ur eyes welling up with tears and he ran to u really fast 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

ALSO WHEN U HOLD HANDS you both always stare bc THE SIZE DIFFERENCE PLLLZZZSSMMMNXX

heres an analogy

ni-ki hands : whale :: y/n hands : seahorse

LITERALLY U CANT EVEN SEE UR HANDS ANYMORE

they just vanish into thin air and u guys think its peak comedy

“whered ur hand go y/n 💀”

#enhypenwriters #enhypen imagines #enhypen headcanons #heeseung imagines #enhypen #sunghoon imagines #jake imagines #jungwon imagines #sunoo imagines #ni ki imagines #enhypen reactions #jay imagines #enhypen scenarios #enhypen x reader #enhypen fluff #enhypen drabbles

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lunarifie · 3 years

Text

The hollow soulmate au #7

first / prev / next

Right when Adam walked out of the restaurant he sighed in relief at seeing Reeves car. “So they didn't decide to ditch me..”

He opens the door unprompted, making everyone jump out of their seats. When they calm down they all bombard him with questions.

“Whats he like?” “How was it?” “Are you guys a thing?” “Is he a jerk?” “Is he nice?” “What does he look like up close?” “are you romantic soulmates like Vanessa and Mira?”

A soft smile plays on Adams face before he catches himself. He gives a brief summary of what he learned about his soulmate and what they talked about. He explained his soulmates name was Kai and that he was here visiting as his parents were away on a business trip. He didn't have his phone yet so he was gonna go to Jazz Club after Kais shifts to hang out with him.

They all listened intently as Reeve drives, excited for the next time they come to the music venue so they could meet Kai formally. From what Adam said, it seemed like he was nice.

When Adam gets home he relays what he told his friends to his family. Though not without getting teased by them.

Kai packs up, he instinctively goes to get his tips but remembers he didn't work as a waiter today and instead was gonna get his money from performing as a paycheck.

“Bye Kai!” The Horsmen, Benjamin, and Benjamini yell as they head towards the door. War shouts a “war” as he is the last one to leave.

He sighed, washing the dishes. He doesn't enjoy it that much but it gives him something to do other than go to the 3 Witches Motel, lay in his bed (which he had to check for bed bugs) and stay awake with the paranoia that his parents will eventually find him. (though that's highly unrealistic, they don't give two shits where he is, least of all look for him.)

“Soooo,” Kai rolled his eyes, though not in Weirdys view. “Uncle, huh.” Gustav tsked when Kai almost dropped a plate.

“Oh, uh, shit, you heard that?” Kai asked hesitantly. Scrubbing intently at the dishes in front of him instead of looking Weirdy in the eyes.

“Yes!” He said in mocking cheerfulness. “What id like to know is why’d you say that little white lie? And if it isnt a lie how are we related?”

Like Kai said, weird. But he guesses he cant judge. He did just tell his soulmate that his boss was his uncle.

“I, um.” Kai is stuck. Living in a strict household teaches you how to lie. Being on the run also honed his skills and taught him how to tell a lie like it was the truth. It was easy. (Other than the dreadful feeling of guilt he feels every time). But lying wasn't the problem, it was finding the lie and he couldn't think anything up.

His face must have shown his panic because Weirdys face softened into a light frown. “Kid, you aren't in trouble. Just, are you in trouble?- I mean.” Gustav groaned in frustration. “I mean are you in trouble with other people?”

Those words made the redhead freeze. ‘God- he's so on the nose.’

“Because if you need a cover then I'm fine with that.”

That made Kai whip his head away from the dishes and finally look at Gustav.

“What?”

“I mean I'm gonna need a few details but if your not comfortable telling me then that's fine- wait I'm jumping the gun aren't I? You might not even be in trouble and just enjoy lying!” Gustav laughs as if what he just said was the funniest thing in the world

Now Kais really stuck:

He could tell Gustav the barest minimum of the situation he's in and finally get some help which could be useful in the long run.

Or make up another lie on the spot to cover up his last lie. Something like ‘oh! I just wanted to keep my soulmate on his toes! I'll eventually tell him the truth later!’ or maybe an excuse more believable than that.

Kais never been one to trust adults. The multiple private tutors and maids who have witnessed first hand what his parents would do to him, and never done anything to stop it just proves his points that adults arent saints and heroes. To be fair his parents are powerful people. But if a sixteen year old could run away and succeed they could have done something.

The only adult who has ever been there for him was Davis, but he was fired a long time ago for being ‘too soft on Kai.’ During his journey he felt a small bit of hope that he might find his former butler but that hope was diminished a while back when he saw how big the world was.

Weirdy was waiting for an answer.

He didnt have to tell Gustav too much right? Just enough for him not to call the cops, not fire him, and lie for him. It isnt harmful to stretch the truth, right?

“My, my parents dropped me off here to live on my own… They’re pretty wealthy, and I think they believe I'm a spoiled brat? I don't know, they really are on a business trip. They expect to come back from it with me making my own money and on my feet without their help.”

Kai took an deep breath, scrubbing the dishes to distract himself. A bit of truth slipped into there. “I just didn't want my soulmate to know because, well, how pathetic is that? Your parents leave you because they can't stand you.” His voice cracked a bit before he continued. That's good, its more believable he told himself. “People also treat you different when they know about the things you have.”

Silence overtook them both.

“Thats-” Weirdy choked up, “thats basically child abandonment what the fuck...”

Kai shook his hands back in forth in panic. “No! I mean! It's understandable!” He really didn't want Gustav to contact the police on ‘child abandonment.’ “Its kind of like moving out! I agreed to it!”

Weirdy peered at him as if he was trying to dissect him. “Do you even have a place to stay? Any family here at all?”

“I, um.” He hesitated a bit reluctant to state where he stays. “I stay at a motel. This job is kinda paying for my stay there...” He mentally slapped himself. That would definitely gain him some pity points but it wasn't necessary to mention the job.

Weirdys face crumbled. He straightened and tapped his foot in thought.

Kai went back to the dishes, wanting to finish and leave as quickly as possible. He didn't care if Weirdy went along with his lie anymore. He could just tell Adam that his Uncle was a bit deranged or had dementia. Yeah, he could make that work.

“Okay... I'll help you. But I need to be reminded of the details! I heard the part where you said I was your uncle but I don't remember much else.” He smiled cockingly as if waiting for a thank you. “Ill also give you a small raise to help with the motel! And if the motel doesn't work out your always welcome to stay at my place for a bit. We're all family here! Even the Horsemen sometimes come and visit me!”

Kai stared dumbfounded with his mouth open. This was probably better than he could have ever estimated it to be. He became a bit teary eyed before quickly wiping them away. “Im- thank you.”

Weirdy waited expectantly. “So, the fake story?”

“Oh right!” Kai relayed what he told Adam. By the time he finished he was also done with the dishes. He dried off his hands going towards his stuff to pack and leave. He guesses Weirdy followed him to walk him out but doesn't predict that Weirdy wanted to start some small talk.

“Ya know… if im gonna be your figurative uncle now… I gotta ask you really embarrassing stuff about how youve been! Like how was that soulmate of yours?” Weirdy wiggles his eyebrows making Kai flush and scowl in response.

“Soulmates aren't always romantic. Stop looking at me like that!”

Weirdy raised an eyebrow “I never said they were. I mean me and Death aren't romantic soulmates.”

“What?”

“I assume you know what platonic soulmates are, which are slightly less common than romantic soulmates. But have you ever heard of Queerplatonic soulmates?”

Kai shakes his head no.

“Its kinda like an inbetween of platonic and romantic. We're not romantically interested in each other but we care about each other more than most friends do. If that makes sense? Think of it like the romantic and platonic lines are blurred. Not all queerplatonic relationships are like this but me and deaths is.”

Kai slowly nods his head yes. Not trusting himself to speak.

“Not many people know what queerplatonic is so it isn't considered as an option for most soulmates but it's the label me and Death felt most comfortable with. I don't know if you and your soulmate feel that way but it's just something up to consideration.”

Kai ponders on that for a while. “I didn't know there was more to it”

“Yeaaah,” Weirdy drawled. “Well now you know!” Gustav flipped a switch going back to his weird self.

Did, Kai feel that way for Adam? He just met him so he's not sure. “I think, i’d just like to label us as friends for now, ” he mutters.

“Fine by me!” Weirdy practically skips to the door opening it wide for Kai to walk out, seeing that he was done gathering his things. “Bye!”

Kai blinks in surprise, giving a silent wave goodbye back and walking out the door. He pondered about soulmates for a bit. He never knew they were that complicated. He just assumed it would be easy, just an understanding because soulmates were made to understand each other. But its just like any other relationship isn't it? You have to build up to it.

#the hollow #the hollow netflix #kaidam #the hollow kai #the hollow adam #th kai #th adam #the hollow soulmate au #the hollow mira #The hollow vanessa #the hollow reeve #th mira #th reeve #th vanessa #the hollow fanfic

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littlebabycrybtch · 3 years

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tbh... we have absolutely FAILED ppl with ea/ting disor.ders so fucking unimaginably bad, especially the visibly underweight ones. and we are still failing them to this day by avoiding valuable education out of discomfort and demonization. its genuinely appalling sometimes, to see just how Dangerously ignorant ppl are about this shit. bros listen 2 me rn. you are not a doctor, and you are Not going cure an ed with your almost laughably ignorant and malicious ‘reverse psychology’ bit where you call someone an ugly skeleton knocking on deaths door whos body needs to be banned from instagram forever, because you’re just ‘so scared theyre gonna die’ or w/e so you can legit pretend they dont exist, holy fucking Shit dude. that shame-and-shun tactic is so unbelievably dangerous. like, if you knew Anything REAL abt these disorders or frankly any mental health issues and cared enough to apply that then you would understand how thats just... pure cruelty. im sorry to be blunt but yeah this isnt a joke, it needs to be said that you are easily going to KILL SOMEONE with that kind of unfiltered uneducated IGNORANCE. it is inexcusably selfish, harmful, and ableist behavior, we have to stop this already.

imo there’s a Lot to be said about the toxicity spiral thats become the pro recovery movement and how much it rejects and speaks over the people its Supposed to support, becoming more about ‘anti symptoms’ than pro anything, but if you are gonna understand Anything new today at least learn this;;; hating yourself at unhealthy is Never ever going to be the key to loving yourself at healthy. being ashamed of yourself FOR being unhealthy, will NOT make you healthier, it’ll make you worse every time. im not tryna be mean but honestly how the actual FUCK do yalls brains work, it is SO wildly damaging to let yourself perpetuate this type of mindset, and then still claim pro recovery or w/e like recovery doesnt have to start at unhealthy??? like itll just happen overnight??? like that’ll help??? like if ppl catch you displaying symptoms of the disorder you LITERALLY HAVE, you arent allowed to talk abt it in any form without intense open negativity towards it and yourself, so ppl know ur definitely totally against it tho and not enabling urself, bc if you dont talk abt ur shame and embarrassment for it that means you arent recovering and need a mob after you??? thats how you think people are gonna get better????

ffs dont try to viciously shame yourself out of bad habits and treat your disorders like taboo, respect and love yourself wholly, the good and the bad, if you want to form better habits!!! ppl NEED to be encouraged to love themselves at unhealthy if they ever want to improve. you are not going to accidentally make them worse by not constantly shaming all their ‘flaws’, they are not MADE of ‘flaws’. by showing support for the mentally ill, you are not fucking supporting their ‘symptoms’, you are a supporting THE FUCKING PERSON EXPERIENCING THEM. and you DESPERATELY NEED TO DO THAT!! there is MORE TO THEM than their symptoms! there are things to COMPLIMENT them on besides their body! its gotten to this point that like. ppl are actually Afraid of just being nice to ppl with eds. they dont even wanna treat them like Humans outside of their disorder, all they see is a disorder. everyone is just SO afraid of ‘enabling’ them by not being vocally against their symptoms that they avoid them like the plague and dont even try to build them up, which is what they fucking need more than anything dude!!

ppl think refusing to ever let an underweight person feel pretty or love their body where they are at is what they need and will force them to recover, or they think giving them goals like ‘you’ll be so much happier with a bigger body’ and ‘keep going one day you wont look so sick’ is at all different than their own internal dialogue, when the Truth (that people need to fucking know by now!), is that shame with mental health is incredibly dangerous, eds are diverse but theyre most often rooted in starvation as a form of self harm from an unwavering self hatred and feeling of failure or lack of control, one they already have deeply ingrained and will usually feel at Any Size, which is why so many feel unsatisfied and keep going and going till they die. the answer to this problem isnt gonna be inflicting more fucking self hate or pressure. thats gasoline on a fire. you cannot just try and. UNO REVERSE CARD THE ~RULES~ OF THEIR FUCKING MENTAL DISORDER and expect RECOVERY... oh my god dude, please, id laugh out loud if this wasnt so malicious.

listen, if you wanna help, like actually Care about Helping the way you claim the root of your attitude is, you need to make that person feel like they can love themselves, not try to make them ‘realize’ how ‘bad’ they are and how uncomfortable and scared they make you and how Not Allowed their behavior is, bc 1. body dysmorphia is a delusion,,, denial is a common association with addictive/self destructive behaviors,,,, you are going about it wrong if thats the first thing you try to accomplish, and 2. whether you like it or not ‘bad’ is gonna be your first checkpoint! who would be motivated to get better when all you’re doing is giving them an already failing grade and pushing them back???

you’re all just... so paralyzed by ignorant fear every time you interact with someone with an ed bc you are so fucking detached from it as a concept, but you wont LEARN how to BEHAVE AROUND THESE PPL! LIKE! and then you claim you act this way ‘because you care'. ok then why do you feel like you dont have to listen or learn??? why dont you see these tactics as needlessly cruel when its explained??? bc oh you cant ‘’’’’trust’’’’ ppl with eds to tell You how to help Them, right??? they’re probably lying, you know better than them ofc. smhhh, every other mental illness community gets to speak for themselves to the ppl without their experiences and therefore the ability to hurt them, sure, but not the sneaky ed people, they created pr.0/a.na/, (the ONLY existing space for encouraging mentally ill ppl in self destructive behaviors, obviously), so they dont know what they need, they have to be Told by Normal people bc their irrational brains are Just Too Broken. (/s)............ like.............?? it is Sooo fuckin prejudiced and disgusting tbh. we gotta do better than this.

eds are almost completely left out of communities for mental health these days. its seriously so disappointing. if you ACTUALLY ‘care’, then ok you need to swallow your pride and do better, you need to Listen and not let your personal discomforts (genuine triggers excluded!) with their appearance or behaviors get in the way of how humanized and committed your decent treatment of their disorder is. tbr, sometimes you arent just ‘concerned’ about a person, sometimes how you go about your feelings is rooted in your inner urge to validate your own discomforts with them, which means it might end up more about you than about them, which hurts them. i mean for the love of god, these ppl are not ‘irresponsible’ for existing around others with their ~unhealthy bodies~, they are not a walking trigger and cant be treated like one, they arent contagious, they will not benefit mentally from hearing you say you think they should be physically banned from posting selfies or w/e, that isolation WONT prevent eds from ~~~spreading~~~ and will severely harm the person in question, you are not making a heroic decision to try and bully them away to ‘save’ others from ever being around them or save them from being around an “enabling” (supportive recovery/not shameful) community. you are not ‘fixing’ them by making them hate their underweight bodies. you’re LITERALLY just ignorant and prejudiced and ableist, your ideas are actually Very harmful, you are not a savior, you are making it worse, plain and simple. Please just start doing better already, its kind of a life or death situation here

#tw eating disorder ment// /#long post// /#tldr;;; hey guess what guys. you know what you should do if you think you see a body check??#compliment em. just avoid the topic of their weight/size/etc or their disorder (even to encourage them to recover. dont start there)#literally pm them and tell them you like their hair. their clothes. their voice. their personality. their art. their username. ANYTHING #that HUMANIZES THEM AS A PERSON OUTSIDE THEIR DISORDER #and BUILDS FOUNDATIONS FOR SELF LOVE!!!!!#/UNCONDITIONAL/ SELF LOVE that reminds them their value lies in MORE THAN THEIR BODY TYPE #that is so unfathomably fuckign IMPORTANTTTTT YOU GUYYYYS DONT UNDERSTAND I #literally please at the very least if u arent comfy with that just stop . Insulting. underweight bodies. that is literally.#'''enabling''' their habits. u have to be literally impossibly ignorant to think that wont make them worse. so. fuck you #if you actually 'care' abt these suffering ppl the way you claim uhhh improve your behavior after hearing all the flaws with it pointed out #puhlease #?#instead of just. sticking the r3xies in the corner and saying 'it makes me uncomfy so if i cant see it it doesnt matter'#like why tf do ppl assume so much of this is about 'attention' or rather positive attention for self destruction #and therefor ANY ATTENTION AT ALL must be bad and shunning is the right answer. like????#bro just. put in literally an ounce of effort here and give them the right KIND of attention which is easy to figure out if ur educated.#godddddddduhh #yes im sorry but the mentally ill slowly dying ppl DO require your attention actually. if ppl are in danger 'for attention' its uh.#more important that you just. dont ignore that and figure out the most nuanced responses Later actually #yall just dont want the responsibility on you if you say the wrong thing and im sorry but to an extent thats just... kinda... selfish #they need ya buddy you dont have to be bffs with every single one of em but you could just like. treat em like a person at least shruugg #all im asking is that yall educate yourselves a little better and stop this horrible shit

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sillyguyhotline · 4 years

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i hate when people compare shin tsukimi to kokichi ouma/nagito komaeda and here’s why

hi first off spoilers for yttd up to chapter 2-2 and for chapter 5 of sdr2 and ndrv3

hi, this is a little disorganized because it was one of my first analysis posts on here lmao. it’s in lapslock and kinda rushed because i wrote this rant to my friends and then decided to post it here!!

ok so!! first of all, sou has very distinct and established reasons for why he acts the way he does: the survival rates. the game shows us that, prior to the death game, sou (shin tsukimi) was very pleasant, even compassionate, and was generally a good dude.

but the identity he adopted for himself, sou hiyori, the one who trusts nobody and lies to everyone and is a pretty huge dick, is a direct consequence of miley telling him he had no chance at survival. the antagonist characters in danganronpa are just...like that. yeah, they probably have their reasons (we know that nagito lost his parents and has a very weird relationship with luck, and we can infer that kokichi doesnt have parents and probably hasnt for a decent amount of time) but they were turned into their more manipulative selves over time, and that's who they are, whereas "sou hiyori" is more of a mask or an alternate identity than anything

secondly, i know a lot of people lump him in with the dr antags bc they consider him an "antagonist" character, but honestly?? he's really not. (either way, the term antag doesnt really fit kokichi or nagito cuz junko is the antag, they're still technically on our side and id consider them antiheroes). but,,,sou honestly doesnt do the things kokichi and nagito do. those two fuck with you in the trials and then they both have chapter 5, where they stage a murder that is directly intended to confuse either you or the mastermind.

but sou doesn't do any of that shit! yeah, he declares himself as the keymaster and lies about that kind of stuff, but it's not intended to directly oppose you, he's just trying to survive. it just so happens that sara is the keymaster in the first main game, so sara is the one who has to expose his lies. he's a liar, but especially in the first main game (not as much in the second but i'll get to that later) he's more concerned with his survival than anything. both kokichi and nagito, however, have other goals (expose the traitor from the future foundation and get them out alive/end the killing game) and even when they arent executing those goals they go out of their way to oppose the protag.

thirdly, sou embodies his own, very distinct themes. he's still a foil to sara, as the antags are with the dr protags, but in quite a different way. (oh also ive seen some people point out that sou is also a foil to keiji). kokichi, most distinctly, embodies the theme of truth vs. lies; he's a liar and his entire personality is developed out of him constantly lying to everyone including himself, while shuichi, the protag, struggles throughout the game with the burden of exposing the truth of the murders.

a lot of people look at sou and immediately think that the main point of his character is his lies (which is fair, as he lies to both sara and himself, similar to kokichi) but it's not- it's his inability to trust anyone. you'd think that him hiding his true personality and fabricating the "sou hiyori" personality would demonstrate that he is, at his core, a liar, but "sou hiyori," especially in comparison to the "shin tsukimi" he once was, is characterized by how little he trusts everyone. this is how he is different from sara, and why he envies her: sara has managed to gain the trust of the entire group, despite being nothing but a high school girl, and is able to utilize this to her advantage (hence why he breaks down in the first main game; he has already separated himself from the group for his own survival, but panics upon seeing everyone choosing to believe sara instead of him). his separation from the rest of the group and the way he loathes sara for the trust she's gained is what's at the core of his character, not his lies. his lies only aid his lack of trust for everyone else.

also, another thing that separates sou from the other antags is something i outlined earlier: when they die, it is to serve a purpose greater than them. when sou dies, it is to save kanna. he's always been identifiable due to his desire to survive. this is why he becomes sou hiyori, this is why he is unable to trust anyone, this is why we view him as an "antagonist," because we as the player, usually, automatically want as many people as possible to make it out alive. but he forms such a bond with kanna, despite pushing aside everyone else, that he is willing to lose his life, which he's fought so hard to protect, in order to save her. this is also representative of how much more yttd focuses on its characters; nagito and kokichi refuse to die unless it ends the killing game because that is danganronpa's endgame and it's the only reliable point of dr's admittedly shoddy plot. yttd, however, focuses on how the characters grow as people and how relationships between individuals develop, which is why sou's character is so heavily dependent on kanna. he either dies for her or identifies himself as a true threat in order to avenge her, which makes him much more compelling.

sou may be a liar, but he's much more of a human than the danganronpa antags, he presents much less of a threat to the character, and he's able to actually develop bonds with kanna.

i also find it pretty interesting how both nagito and kokichi's relationships with the protag reflect the main themes of their respective games (hope vs despair, truth vs lies) whereas sou's relationship with sara revolves around trust as opposed to the game's overarching theme of logic vs emotion (which he also helps to embody, but through his actions, not his relationship with sara).

this was very long and probably didnt convey my thoughts as well as it could have but in essence sou and the dr antags are very very different from each other, in both character and their role in the game, and when people compare them it feels like they're looking at a sou that they want to see rather than the sou who actually exists.

as an afterthought i find it sort of ironic that most of the humanization and development of the danganronpa characters occurs in fan circles, whereas sou is already developed and humanized by yttd to the extent that fans instead have to boil him down to danganronpa stereotypes.

if you made it this far, tysm!! this was kinda rushed so if there are any flaws in what i said please lmk and i’d like to hear if anyone else has any other thoughts on this topic!!

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axel-mania · 3 years

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yesterday was the first time i met someone with ehlers-danlos. i was seeing her because she is a physical therapist with the disease i may have, and i hoped she could tell me whether my current pt is killing me with his treatment. and, you know, what she had done to be a working adult rather than someone frequently bedridden. it was a tiny office. i felt small, trapped, staring down at the intake paperwork, over a hundred questions and longer than any ive done before. i was so scared i wouldnt be able to get through that part and still have the scheduled meeting. but i guess she cared about seeing me, because even though other patients were asking for her help she still took the time to talk to me.

so you write down all your pain, put down numbers that dont really convey anything about it, just trying to say that youre suffering and it should matter enough that something is done about it. i feel like im lying if i use all tens, but that means they might not take me seriously. on the flip side, im still walking and talking, no matter how feebly, so they might think im exaggerating it. my first adults' doctor told me id just have to learn to live with all this. but maybe this person understands. maybe shell care.

youre just a six on the hypermobility scale. its eight to tens when we start to see the really bad conditions like ehlers-danlos. thats what the rheumatologist i was referred to said. but this physical therapist wasnt very flexible and shed been diagnosed. so she ended up completely redoing my evaluation. when i could bring myself to string more than a few words together to tell her, that is. i always feel stupid during these kinds of things. even if i record my pain, i dont have the right words to describe whats happening. i cant definitively answer all their questions, just give guesses. but she could see inflamed joints, out of place tendons, pops that i couldnt even hear. so i ended up meeting the criteria. it almost means nothing.

i dont have an official diagnosis, which is almost impossible to gain, so i cant get benefits. well, i can at least pursue treatment, right? not really. she shot down the pain management options i had learned from the patient community, and said most people who felt worse in physical therapy were looking for someone to blame. shes the success case, and she presides over many more patients than me. so what could i do but accept it?

theres only hard work. work you literally cant do if youre in enough pain. physically, im lucky. compared to others, my body has only broken down a little, so i can still do regular exercise. at the same time, no matter how hard i try, it will break down more. its a race alongside time. you can only get so much better as your body naturally gets worse. teaching your joints to stay in place doesnt mean making your body into a different one.

youre never going to exist without pain every day. really sit with that for a second. you have to mentally say, im okay with this hard exertion every day, and im okay with it leading to only marginal and very long term benefits. i choose life no matter the consequences.

and i cant choose that, not right now. not when i have questionable friends online and absolutely no one in real life. not when im living with my transphobic parents and am going to struggle to find any employment that can accommodate my disability. theres just really no reason. the one person who was dependent on me no longer is. i dont believe in life as an abstract good. so really, this seems to be a sign to kill myself.

whats going to happen isnt me dramatically and immediately hanging myself while my parents are asleep. its going to be a slow starvation. i repeatedly refuse to choose between life and death, fail to consistently do the exercise, and suffer more until its too much. this isnt exactly a cry for anyone to try talking me down. ive long since decided not to do that for others anymore, and i dont want it for me either. but it is sort of an open question... why are some people so happy to choose a miserable life? what do they have that i dont? maybe its a circular problem. im bitter because people arent caring for me enough, and people dont want to care for me because im bitter.

#im typing this because i want to be seen #and i dont feel seen by anyone #but probably this is too difficult to respond to so i wont get any response #lol

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def-not-hecky · 3 years

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here it is!! the fabled wc jojo fic!! enjoy!! (also pls note that this is a draft and i’m gonna fix spelling mistakes and stuff like that in the future, i am also always up for criticism, so if youve got things that will improve my writing skills don’t hesitate to talk to me!)

bruno shuttered as he awoke, the early light of the sun filtering through the small holes of his den. Almost immediately he remembered the dream he had the night prior. “Only the blazing star can blunt the claw. Seek of the cat with the sun in his pelt and the arrow in his paws.” he stretched and exited his den as he strolled into his makeshift camp,still thinking about the strange dream. Narancia and mista were sitting on his tree stump, but they quickly scrambled away when they saw him approach. ‘well even if im unsure about the dream i still have to investigate what polpo was talking about..” the spotted tom hopped onto the stump and let out a loud yowl. quickly and sluggishly, abbacchio and fugo rolled out to their dens to hear what the capo had to say. after settling on the tree, bruno began to speak. “ leaky eye luka has been killed,” he started, drawing his paw over his ears to clean off the fur. “ And so polpo has asked me to investigate for him.” narancia seemed to be the only one suprised about this. “i think he deserved it.” mista said as he turned over to narancia. “always sticking his nose in another tom’s business…” he got knocked over by the black cat as bruno sighed, raising to his paws gracefully amd walking past the other cats. he shot fugo and abbacchio a glance to let them know they were in charge before bounding over the brambles.

bruno could say with confidence that he had never lived in twoleg place, unlike the others in his team, he had always grown up a rouge. his heart lurched with nervousness as he stepped into twoleg place. there werent many cats around to tell him he couldnt pass, so he pressed on, keeping a close eye on the cat that was trailing behind him. he sniffed around, polpo had only told him to take a see around and tell him if anything was suspicious. so the only thing he could really do was take a look. he didnt even realise the stranger had managed to get ahead of him, washing himself as he sat on a brick wall. something immediately set bruno off about the tom, which is why he didnt approach further. the way the morning sun outlined his figure instantly made his eyes widen with suprise. ‘this cant be’ he shook his head before scrambling up the surface to sit with the young cat. he eyed him closely, noticing the fresh scars on his nose and chest. ‘oh yeah he definitely knows something.’After a moment the golden cat stopped licking himself, shifting uncomfortablely at the strange cat sitting next to him. suddenly, a fat bird flew into the gate they were sitting on, but bruno caught it before it could fall. “say..” he started. “if you found a heap of fresh kill, what would you do?” he questioned. instantly the golden tom perked up at the question. “id keep it! finders keepers if i say.” he responded, sharpening his claws on they frayed wood. bruno purred in delight. “but what if that fresh kill belonged to a lion? then what would you do?” he pressed. “Easy! id take half and leave the rest for him, a cat’s gotta eat you know.” he smiled. The black cat forced himself to laugh, “y’know i really get the sense that you would! at least you didnt lie!” he chuckled “ ive got a special knack for finding out when people are lying, and i usually don't make mistakes” he confessed. “ have you ever noticed when you lie that your ears often twitch?” bruno excitedly flexed his claws. “but what’s important is your scent,” his nose quivered with anticipation.

“alright,” the fluffy cat stood up. “ who are you?” he questioned. soon the friendliness turned to suspicion. “Leaky eye luca got his eyes clawed out by his own paws and was found near the outskirts of the twoleg place.” he snarled, following the golden cat on the other side of that gate. bruno leaned in closer. “ its critical and its looking like he’s never going to make it.” he glared harder. “And ive been sunt here to seek out the culprit! so lets..talk.” The tabby flicked his tail absently, definitely considering making a run for it. “ No cat in the slightest even has an idea why he has on that side of twoleg place. But a young she cat told me that a tom named Giorno Giovanna was around there. So if you dont mind id like to have a chat about that.” he sat down, keeping a safe distance from him. “ Just a chat huh? are you apart of the no tails or what?” Bruno lashed his tail in irritation. “Luca wasnt just some rouge, he was a mafioso, and many cats had reasons to do away with him. He actually had a gift for being hated. But that is not how my boss is electing to see this situation.” he unsheathed his claws, pointing at giorno. “A member of the family has been slain, and what honor he had has been traded off. Thats why he has chosen me to find the unlucky cat who did this, and sort out anything around this mess..” he inched closer. “so make this easy and cooperate, understand? Did you meet up with leaky eye luca at the airport?”

“leaky who? ive never heard of him.” the world seemed to still as they both started at each other, like a fight was gonna break out. but in the end, bruno backed off.”You're ears arent twitching. All right, I'll believe you. That does it for my questions. Sorry to have bothered you, Giorno Giovanna.” bruno turned on him, padding back into the labyrinth that was twoleg place. Giorno sighed, turning his attention on his paw, that was unusually clenched. as he unclenched it, he came upon a horrific sight.

#writing #warrior cats #jojo's bizarre adventure #giorno giovanna #jjba giorno #jjba vento aureo #vento aureo #bruno buccellati #bruno bucciarati #jojo bruno #leone abbacchio #jojo fugo #pannacotta fugo #narancia ghirga #guido mista #warriors fic #jojo fic #im gonna continue it dont worry!!

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