#but i see teaching the majority groups helps the minority groups get less fucked over
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Interviewer: So how did the aromantic community combat against amatonarmativity?
Me: Well once we as a community realised we needed to band together and teach alloromantics that romance is not a necessity within their lives, along with how romance is socially connected with capitalism, we had a plan. *looks to camera* Isn't that right folks?
#I've thoughts and feelings this morning#not the most knowledgeable about sociopolitics#but i see teaching the majority groups helps the minority groups get less fucked over#lgbtq#lgbt#aromantic#aro#aroallo#aroace#aromantism#aromanticism#aromantic asexual#aromantic allosexual
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pls share some of your spn fic recs 🥺🥺
ok, a few things first:
followers and mutuals who do not have supernatural brainworms, kindly avert your eyes
i don’t normally rec or even read much fanfic any more but this is a CRISIS ok (cont.)
there is so. much. content for deancas out there and i have incredibly high standards, several ancient ao3 bookmarks, can speedread, and want to spare you guys the experience of wading through it all.
i also have a section for spn femslash since I was pretty into that back in the day (sadly a lot less fan content for this :/)
I don’t really like au’s or pure smut (I honestly usually just skim or skip those scenes) so if you’re mainly looking for that kind of thing this probably won’t be very helpful to you. jsyk.
i’m not great at describing stuff but i’ll do my best, i’ll also try and add tw’s when neccesary.
i wil try and keep updating this with any other decent fics i find, feel free to rec stuff too since i’m like 7 years behind.(edit 1/25/21) this is getting looooong so i’m going to start making another list on my spn blog rather than update this one
(edit 1/3/21) since this has gotten pretty long i’ve added rating/approximate word counts and marked my particular favorites with an asterisk.
Dean/Cas fic:
So Says The Sword*** - explicit/85k. FUCK its good...au/time travel where dean is not pulled out of hell by cas and says yes to becoming the michael sword. honestly could serve as an alternative to actually watching the show, if you want to get into dean/cas without actually doing that to yourself.
Fata morgana.* - teen/6k, pst s9 finale. very bela centric and i love it, she finds cas looking for dean in hell.
Redemption Road -misc/600+k. an incredibly long fic from a collaborative writing group back in the day. canon divergent from the end of s6 on, has a cool take on godstiel and the leviathans, as well as the lovecratian mythos connection. ngl when i reread it i only made it about 28% in but imo the casual reader can actually stop around there, the rest concerns a lovecraftian apocalypse that is still good (i think i don’t remember it very well) but not required to enjoy the first half. if you prefer i have an ebook version i can send you on gdrive.
Someone Who's Feeling For Me* - mature/45k, s12. they run into lisa braeden and dean thinks cas is into her while cas thinks dean still likes her. treats lisa way better than the show ever did and the miscommunication is pretty funny rather than annoying.
a turn of the earth - mature/95k. time travel fic where cas from s10 keeps showing up in deans life from a few years before s1 to right before the hellhounds take his soul. slow burn, good character study, and at one point cas punches the dad in the face and it rules.
On the Wings of War - teen/85k, canon divergent s5. dean accidentally becomes the Horseman of War. plays fun, fast and loose with biblical lore, michael has some rights.
Named - mature/95k, alternate s5. EXTREMELY blasphemous in a fun sexy way. manages to predict metatron almost to a T. there’s one major character death and its literally jesus christ, everyone is very sad about it and it sets the rest of the story rolling. an alternate interpretation of cas’ mission to raise dean from hell which had me on the floor. ngl its kind of misogynistic at points, but its from 2010 and tracks with late oughts-2010 spn (sorry anna the author did you dirty here:/).
The Girlfriend Experience - explicit/15k. uhhh i don’t normally rec or even read smutty stuff unless someone i know is specifically asking for it but this has stuff like sam trying to be a good ally and dean thinking holding hands with cas is ‘kinda gay :/’ minutes after having gay sex with him.
i crippled your heart a hundred times - explicit/19k, s8. cas confesses his feelings and dean spends a long time getting his head out of his ass about it. truly hits different after the actual confession, despite being written six years early it feels like its actually what could have gone down more or less if the writers weren’t talentless demons who hate us.
My Roots Take Flight** - mature/125k. reverse au where cas is a hunter and dean’s an angel...OR IS IT???? an alternate retelling of s4. tw for briefly being set in a psychiatric hospital/the hospital being mentioned somewhat frequently throughout the fic, plus more references to torture in hell and heaven than usual.
The One Thing You Can't Lose* - teen/4k.you know those posts about how cas is a super-strong super-tough ancient warrior but he just lets dean tug him around because he likes it? thats it thats the fic.
Hands, From Which All Things Are Built - teen/14k, post s8′s ‘goodbye stranger.’ cas is on the run with the angel tablet but keeps in touch with sam and dean by text, he and dean still manage to be terrible at Actual communication.
Autrement, Danger - or, The Account of an Exceedingly Long Day - mature/30k, post s11. a monster that takes the appearance of your soulmate leads to some wild miscommunications and dealing with years of repression, also dean gets to see cas’ true form which is always cool. tw for non-graphic mentions of underage sexual assault/sex work.
Down to Agincourt - mature/explicit/900++++k, endverse continuation. endverse!cas survives his encounter with lucifer and discovers another time-displaced dean from s7. i’ve only read the two of four parts but its really good, veeeeery slow burn, has a lot of fun oc’s and takes a rather surprising but (imo) entertaining and intriguing turn into Hellenic history and mythology. usual tw’s for endverse/endverse!cas but nothing graphic, it’s actually pretty light-hearted (relatively speaking of course).
Nothing Equals the Splendor** - explicit/8k, THEE finale fix it fic you’ve been waiting for! posits that the entire final episode was just a (very bad and lame) djinn’s vision.
like moses and batman and james dean - explicit/31k, post s8. explores dean’s trauma and internalized homophoba from his technically canon experience with sex work and its impact on his relationship with cas. the sex work itself isn’t really shown in any detail but it’s still a relatively heavy fic.
Crazy Diamonds - explicit/25k, s4/alternate s14. fresh-out-of-hell dean and dean from 10 years in the future are displaced from time and sent to each other’s present.
where the weeds take root - explicit/30k. au where the men of letters kick them out of the bunker and they accidentally move out into the country, get over their codependence and semi retire. featuring chicken coop building, sam volunteering at a dog shelter, gardening, and blissfully mundane domesticity.
No Resting Place - teen/6k. djinn dream fic, switches back and forth between cas’ dream of being married to dean and retired from hunting to the aftermath when he wakes up. tw for brief mention of suicide since, y’know, djinn dream.
any port in a storm - mature/52k. post s8 finale. cas and dean have to pose as a couple going through a rough patch for a case and actually deal with their emotional baggage, cas struggles with being human and metatron is up to stuff.
all this and heaven too* - explicit/7k. in the author’s own words ‘...a love letter to every trans person who ever projected onto Dean Winchester.’ absolutely unzipped me emotionally and theologically, its just. so good. tw for very brief mentions of internalized transphobia/dysphoria.
Because it is* - mature/6k, finale fix it. killing chuck does not bring back anyone back and the winchesters spend a very long time dealing with what they’ve lost, cas and dean SOMEHOW still manage to have signifigant communication issues even after the confession. tw for suicidal thoughts/brief attempt.
Vena Amoris and Other Old-Fashioned Bullshit* - teen/4k, s6. when cas fell for dean it automatically soulbonded/angel married them, shenanigans ensue when dean finds out during the angel’s civil war. funny and actually written back when s6 was airing so cas is still (or at least pretending to be) kind of an OP asshole which is fun.
Rinse, Repeat - teen/3k, s8. angsty character study of cas as he’s reprogrammed and trained to kill dean. not really dean/cas since its just cas’ pov of canon events but its beautifully written and ends with him snapping out of it through the power of love (also now a canon event!).
Emergence - explicit/59k, canon divergent after s11. dean meets a hunter he only recognizes as their friend claire novak’s missing father, but soon realizes he might be the answer behind the mysterious void in his memories and feelings (aka everyone’s memories of cas are completely wiped away for three years).
Cuckoo And Nest - explicit/10k, early established relationship/character study, cas tries to figure out how he fits into dean’s life and space in the bunker.
Build a Home* - teen/20k, canon divergent s12. sam and eileen are cute and turn the bunker into men of letters/hunters hq and everyone but cas moves in, mutual miscommunication issues and pining ensues.
Down in the River - teen/5k, early s8, cas prays to dean in purgatory while sam and dean try to figure out a way to get him out.
Teaching Poetry to Fish* - mature/52k, ?? BC through the entire series/canon divergent s14 and 15. retelling of crucial scenes throughout the shows timeline from cas’ pov, feat. actual fish and poetry.
the minor fall, the major lift - gen/4k, post confession/finale fixit. dean goes into the empty to save cas and runs into several old friends (and enemies).
With the Kisses of His Mouth* - teen/3k, gen later seasons. dean and cas keep kissing by accident.
Remaining Grace - explicit/109k, alternate s6. au where cas asks dean for help with raphael and dean, of course, does. tw for temporary major character death/semi-graphic depictions of alcohol withdrawal.
The face of heaven.* - teen/10k, au, dean is a regular guy and cas is a fallen star (think ‘stardust’, kinda).
Stories Are Made of Mistakes* - teen/5k. newly human cas has trouble getting used to a human body and humanity in general, but still figures out that he and dean are A Thing before dean does.
Hurry Up And Wait - mature/21k, canon divergent s12. a fairyland and quite possibly LOTR related case comes up and dean goes full fanboy, mary is introduced to the wonders of the peter jackson adaptions, many references and comparisons (including between cas and dean’s ‘friendship’ and arwen/aragon). also charle is still alive and has just been doing fairy stuff this whole time.
There Are Many Things - explicit/28k, s9. cas is extremely lonely/touch-starved and trying to figure out this whole human thing, as well as where he and dean stand after being kicked out of the bunker.
It's A Long Life to Always Be Longing - teen/40k, post s11 finale. amara helps dean by putting him in a magical coma so he can finally get some much needed rest and show him possible futures for him, sam and cas. meanwhile sam and cas go on a roadtrip (or several) to find componets for a spell to wake dean up. really good sam and cas friendship, they actually talk about their shared lucifer trauma and stuff.
Non-Photo Blue - gen/2k, s4/5/alternate s5. fifty moments from cas’ memories of dean.
Tall Grass - explicit/57k, canon divergent post series. cas becomes the ultimate plant dad. feat the wayward sisters gang, cathartic character growth, fun oc’s, domesticity, and lots of actual botanical info-dumping.
on vessels - no rating/gen/2k. established dean/cas, cas tells dean about how he used to imagine what it would be like to have him as his vessel.
search for tomorrow on every shore* - teen/11k, post-finale (extremely derogatory). some angels in jack’s new heaven act out and dean gets temporarily resurrected in 2003 and runs into his younger self.
Architecture of the Minotaur’s Heart - explicit/45k, very canon divergent post s1. dean’s new house seems to have a life and mind of its own, while in his dreams he sees glimpses of a world and apocalypse that never came to be and an angel that looks strangely like his mysterious neighbor, cas. loosely inspired by the book house of leaves (which i highly recommend for fans of weird horror).
The Distance Of The Setting Sun - explicit/17k, post s5. established dean/cas relationship, team free will finally takes advantage of cas’ abilities to go on vacation around the world.
diamond star halo - teen/5k, s11. dean lets cas use him as a temporary vessel while he recovers from rowena’s spell, sam is a long-suffering third-wheel.
Make Known** - teen/16k, s6/7. dean struggles to understand how cas could have become his enemy and whether he ever truly knew him in the first place.
blunt little instrument* - mature/1.4k, post finale. dean finally confronts his father in heaven, very cathartic.
my heart a compass*** - teen/10k, post confession. the empty forces cas to re-experience his most regretted moments while dean tries to snap him out of it and bring him home.
A Crash Course in Someone Else's History - teen/11k, s6. cas from the very start of s4 is brought forward in time by s6!cas to distract the brothers from his and crowley’s plans.
The Cuckoo Father - mature/8k, s7 au. the woman who found cas in the river post-leviathans does not marry him bc he was sent to her by god or whatever, but actually identifies him as jimmy novak and sends him back to claire and amelia.
The Dead Dean Clause* - teen/5k, post alt s5 ending. team free will celebrates surviving taking down lucifer by getting blitzed, cas lies to a cop and gets an impromptu driving lesson. title/description sound dark i know but it’s actually very funny and light.
Suck It, Judy Garland - mature/20k, s12 (after the ‘i love you...i love all of you’ episode). cas and sam have to pretend to be a couple for a case and dean is NOT happy about it.
By Daylight and In Dream - teen/16k, s5. pre-dean/cas, dean invites cas to use his dreams to hide from the other angels. tw for very brief mention of a memory/dream of alastair sexually assaulting dean.
The Five People You Meet in Heaven - mature/22k, post-canon. an actually happy (if sometimes bittersweet) heaven endgame written several years ago, though some details are rather eerily similar to the show’s ending.
heaven is a place on earth* - teen/2k. dean’s pov of some of the times cas left him behind throughout the show, and one alternate ending where he finally gets to stay.
I Cleanse The Mirror - teen/20k, alternate s6. dean’s body is stolen by an ancient elemental and his soul has to hitch a ride in cas’ vessel.
an exploration of gender; angelic*** - mature/4k. *oscar isaac voice* lets get into angel gender politics!! aka cas is trans.
Zenith - explicit/33k, s9. after 9x06 an angry witch curses cas with the ability to see supernatural beings and human souls.
La cucina. - gen/3k, alt s9. dean goes wild helping a newly-human cas find out what kinds of food he likes, or the early s9 domesticity we deserved!
Dean Winchester, Cocksucker at Rest***** - teen/7k, post-finale. john and mary finally come over for dinner and john reacts to dean/cas in a rather predictable fashion. SOOOOOOOOO good omg, its so funny and a little sad and very very cathartic. part of a series that has a few other really good short fics.
The Way You Didn't Go - teen/5k, s15. coda to 15.09, dean has nightmares about the moc!cas timeline.
On Drowning - teen/28k. dean saves cas after he nearly drowns, they both try and deal with the physical/mental fallout (aka the fic where thee iconic “you only touch me when you think I’m dead or dying” originates). tw for realistic depictions of drowning/triage/misc medical information.
The Thirty-Six Questions That Lead to Love* - mature/13k. claire has dean and cas pretend to be her gay dads for a case and they play the titular 36 question game, get mistaken for swingers, and birdwatch, among other things.
Assorted F/F stuff:
Deep Breaths* - mary/ellen, au where mary said no to azazel’s deal and let john stay dead, still becomes a milf.
Like Rebel Diamonds - krissy/claire, they become hunter gf’s on the hunt for cas to kick his ass for taking jimmy. not-so-stealth dean/cas as well.
To Ash and Bone - anna/ruby, same author as the previous fic (p much all of her stuff is good from what i recall). au where ruby is a witch and helps anna when she’s cursed.
Holy Clockwork Angels - jo/ruby, STEAMPUNK au with very cool worldbuiilding.
At Day's End - jo/anna (my fucking KINGDOM for more jo/anna content, the dean/cas parallels are allllll there), au where they are both at the camp in the endverse and gfs.
these posts - ok so not actually a fic but i’m now obsessed with this hannah/meg dynamic.
Tagelied - mary/ellen, the true story of how ellen got into hunting before angels interfered.
Hell's Bells** - meg/abaddon, alternate s8/9 where meg survives crowley’s attack with sam’s help and teams up with abaddon (who she has a sk year old crush on) to take back hell.
The Ecstasy of the Rose - anna/ruby, anna travels back in time to escape heaven and becomes a signifigant part of ruby’s old human life.
Angel Underground - anna/jo, kind of an urban fantasy au with a very intriguing premise (sadly its very short, i’d love to see more if this ‘verse).
Clover, Flame - billie/mary, billie was always the reaper that showed up to take mary after her death(s) over the years.
Drag Me To Heaven - anna/ruby, a variant on the ‘last night on earth’ thing with dean.
Come Home* - jo/anna, canon-divergent au where anna is the new waitress at the roadhouse and helps jo set up a (probably not really) haunted house for halloween.
#if you told me i'd be doing this in 2020 three weeks ago i'd have laughed in your face :/#deancas#supernatural#fic recs#spn femslash#destiel#fic#the alie tag#spn posting
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Major Updates to My Weird Idea (that includes my Nightside OCs)
Go check my previous post on this - HERE
This is mainly an update for @schizoauthoress , @the--blackdahlia , @spacelizardtrashboys , @enigmaticandunstable and @piratewithvigor and I personally think @nattinngrst might like this.
I went on a trip to the beach yesterday with my parents and my older brother (who I bored and annoyed with this idea and you'll see some of his influence in this here post)
Anything written in italics is meant to be taken as a joke as you read through this wall of text, sending good vibes as always, hope y'all are doing well.
The show is set in Canadian, Texas (real place: Wikipedia). I'm thinking of this show starting in the mid-to-late 90s (1996/1997).
I've managed to do several things with that weird sitcom idea, so, where to start, how about with the three potential titles:
1 - Neighbourhood Watch
2 - First Call
3 - First Round (Which my brother likes)
Here are some options for bar names, starting with the Cop bar:
1 - The Donut Hole
2 - The Roasted Hog (which my big bro suggested)
3 - The Sherriff's Outpost
And the Biker Bar:
1 - The Handlebar Inn
2 - The Steel Horse Saloon
3 - The Rebel Room
Next on the list of updates: Cast additions, character roles and (Finally after 2 days) Names for Everyone!!
I'll start with the Cop Bar's owner & staff:
Rosalina Asturias 'Rosa' (Played by Billie Martinez) an employee of the local cop bar. Didn't grow up in the town, moved here for work.
Violet Croft (Played by Eli Herne) an employee. Grew up in town, never left, has the hots for one of the guys in the local police.
Sunshine Crawford 'Sunny' (Played by Holly Di Antonio) an employee. Grew up in town, left for college and came back.
Roscoe Power 'Ross' (Played by Jimmy Hart) the loudmouth who owns the bar, grew up in town, used to be a car salesman.
Olesya Pavlovsky 'Olivia' (Played by Penelope Voronin) an employee who grew up in town and has immigrant parents, goes by 'Olivia' because she would rather you don't f*** up her actual name.
Winona Vance (Played by Sam Griffin Silver) an employee who moved here from New York, for unknown reasons, and doesn't really understand the small town, everyone knows everyone lifestyle.
Lavender Whittemore (Played by Victoria Lucifarian) an employee who grew up in England but moved to live in America, settled in Canadian, Texas due to her love of westerns.
Next: The Local Police Squad:
Sergeant Valentine Gautier 'Val' (Played by Bret Hart) recently promoted before the series begins but still on patrol duty, watches over his younger brother.
Corporal Buck Morris 'Buckshot' (Played by Davey Boy Smith) the gun loving corporal of the squad and the only one to have both 'work' and 'home' guns.
Captain Napoleon Cooper 'Crazy Cooper' / 'Captain Crazy' (Played by Jim Neidhart) the police captain, recently reassigned to Canadian, Texas as there were rumours abut him which interfered with his work in his previous location.
Officer Duke Gautier (Played by Owen Hart) the young, recently recruited brother of Sgt Gautier, often put on patrol alone to ensure less arguments, but always checked on by his brother.
Next: The Biker Bar's Staff:
Ozzy Rains (Played by Charles Wright) A biker and member of the staff who grew up just outside of town but loves his fellow staff members like family.
Brock Martel (Played by Henry Godwin) a biker and member of the staff who grew up on a local ranch and loves beer, football and the current Mayor's down-to-Earth style.
Vincent Gore 'Vinnie' (Played by Kane) the owner's son and a known fire loving 'freak' often protected by his surrogate family, the bar staff, Vinnie knows no better than 'ooh, cool looking fire' and must be restrained or have his hands swatted away to stop him burning himself trying to touch campfires.
Raven Knight (Played by Kirby Roussimoff) the only female staff member, but also the girl who does all the tough jobs when needed, has a side business of making and selling artwork, such as portraits to locals, has designed some of the bar staff's tattoos.
Harlow Gore (Played by Paul Bearer) the owner of the bar and a loving father to his son, took Murphy (Undertaker) under his wing when they first met and also treats him, and the rest of staff, like family.
Hunter King (Played by Phineas Godwin) Brock's cousin and a member of staff, taught Raven how to shoot a shotgun and his father owns a local tattoo parlour.
Sequoia Reed (Played by Rikishi) an employee and Frankie's (Yokozuna) cousin, also a surrogate cousin to Raven, having been best friends since childhood. Reed loves his job and his staff family and will defend both at any cost.
Lupe Zapatero (Played by Savio Vega) an employee at the bar and possibly the shortest member of staff, towered over by the tallest staff members but is not any less of a fighter because of his size, a former mechanic who loves nothing more than taking things apart and putting them back together while listening to metal / rock.
Murphy Graves (Played By The Undertaker) Manager of the biker bar and an excellent member of staff, has an outlaw rules vibe, as in he would say to the police "Your jurisdiction ends when you walk in my bar." Very protective of the staff, and the owner.
Frankie Wolf (Played by Yokozuna) the most relaxed and laid-back of the staff, Frankie would prefer to be in the kitchen making potential 'Culinary Masterpieces' as he would call them. Sequoia and Raven's (surrogate) cousin, views his staff mates as family.
Next: The Local Band (Named: Exoskeleton Samurai)/College Students
Quinn Thorn (Played by Jeff Hardy) the bassist to Ros' (Lita) vocals / lead Guitar and older brother Garth's (Matt) Drums, a face paint enthusiast and an English major in college who never seems to find time to study, but always has time to date somehow.
Roz Jerome (Played by Lita) the vocals and lead guitar for the band and an art major who actually studies, dating Garth (Matt) and met Quinn through him. Roz also studies Spanish and French.
Garth Thorn (Played by Matt Hardy) Quinn's older brother and the band's drummer, a major in psychology and a horror movie lover, Roz' boyfriend and almost totally devoted to her, even at the cost of his college work.
Next: The Local Townsfolk of Note:
Mayor Robert Sweet (Played by Jim Duggan) rarely seen, but apparently a good man with good ideas, helps out in volunteer projects and absolutely loves the town. Trying his hardest and people know this, and they love him. (did I meme correctly?)
Rusty Jarvis (Played by Mick Foley) the local hippie who has never left town, somehow managing to know both everything and nothing at the same town. (Very Dude Love with hints of Cactus Jack and Mankind) Does know how to fight when he needs to.
Redd Wayne (Played by 'Sycho' Sid Vicious/Justice) the local baseball/softball star, helps out at the local school/college teaching sports and likes Raven's artwork, he watches her draw when he can, runs the local little league & minor league baseball/softball games.
Earl Black (Played by Steve Austin) the most often seen regular at the biker bar, absolutely loves both the bar and the town, a hardworking guy who has befriended the entire staff (including Harlow and Vinnie) of the biker bar.
Lex Aston (Played by The Rock) a local struggling actor, teaching an acting class to pay the bills and an absolute ladies man, and for that reason he goes to the cop bar, to try and pick up one of the bartenders who works there, often favouring Rosa as she will jokingly flirt back.
Finally (for this section): The Degenerates and Their Benefactors:
Reign Yates (Played by Billy Gunn) Leon's (Road Dogg) best friend, often the getaway driver for the group and a scout for locations, often getting all the info on a place before telling Matty (H.H.H) and Dell (HBK). Often leaves town with Leon to get the heat off them. (and make out in secret)
Zelda Hooper (Played by Chyna) the only female degenerate but possibly the toughest, has a rap sheet as big as her arms, not to be trusted when around the other degenerates as she is usually the actual brains of the operation.
Matty Battle (Played by Hunter Hearst Helmsley) the co-leader of the degenerates, often protected by Zelda or Mark (Kevin Nash). does most of the talking but has the piss taken of him for his looks often by either other degenerates or locals who don't care for the degenerates.
Romeo Colombera (Played by Mike Rotundo/I.R.S) the right hand man of the mysterious benefactor, and often the lawyer for the degenerates as well as a taskmaster for them, telling them what the boss wants done and by what date.
Mark Rake (Played by Kevin Nash/Diesel) the tallest degenerate with a rap sheet as long as his leg, a former bouncer at a now closed nightclub, alongside best friend (and possibly boyfriend) Galo (Scott Hall) and now a bodyguard (when needed) for Matty and Dell (HBK, also boyfriends).
Leon Rose (Played by Road Dogg) best friend of Reign and a scout for the group alongside him. Has found every possible way to piss off other townsfolk and often in the most fights because of it, always on the police's radar for one thing or another and constantly leaving town because of it.
Galo Villalobos (Played by Scott Hall/Razor Ramon) the only (supposedly) Latino degenerate, raised in Canadian, Texas but his parents are from Cuba, Galo is a former nightclub bouncer (alongside Mark) Galo is known (for his ability to give minus fucks) as the most relaxed member of the group.
Dell Pain (Played by Shawn Michaels/HBK) the co-leader alongside Matty, a known flirt with people regardless of gender or sexuality, just to piss them off on some occasions. Dell grew up in town, knowing it like the back of his hand.
Giles Rennell (Played by Ted DiBiase) the mysterious benefactor of the group, bailing them out if needed, he stumbled across the group after seeing a police bulletin and decided to use them to cause enough chaos to guarantee a chance in the next mayoral election.
Zac Noel (Played by X-Pac) the shortest and youngest degenerate, Zac is often treated as the child of the group, being taught how to get away with crimes and trick the police into just letting him go by clerical error and tomfoolery.
Next on my list of updates: Season 1's episode list, episode titles, episode synopses, some spoilers, and the revolving door idea a bit further explained.
Series running order:
Biker bar episode
Cops on Patrol episode
Band/College Students episode
Cop bar episode (yes these are different)
Degenerates episode
(last episode of each season/series only) town meeting/town get-together (E.X: town hall meetings, the town getting together for a sports game or barbeque or restaurant opening)
1x01: Insert Coin to Start: The pilot episode of the series sees the local biker bar of Canadian, Texas installing two, brand new, arcade machines. After leaving for the night, the team finds the bar broken into and both machines missing with no evidence or possible suspects to the robbery. The team finds the machines relatively undamaged in an alleyway nearby. By the end of the episode there's still no suspects. B plot includes an argument between father and son, Harlow and Vincent which ends when Murphy gets involved.
1x02: Hot Pursuit: Newly instated chief of police Chief Cooper [Neidhart] makes changes to the patrol teams before tasking them with looking for any persons involved with (1x01)'s robbery and break-in, leading to a high speed chase later in the episode. B plot includes the squad coming to grips with the new, and much crazier, police chief.
1x03: Making Noise: Local band Exoskeleton Samurai [Team Extreme] are writing new music late at night while Roz [Lita] tries to study for a class the following day but, during a moment of quiet, they hear a break in a couple of doors down and attempt to see who it is. The group get a glimpse of Zac Noel [X-Pac] and Mark Rake [Nash] but not a full glimpse. Now aware of the local degenerates, the band try and forget about it and focus on their own lives until their apartment gets broken into when they're not there.
1x04: Donuts & Beer: The new cop bar opens on the other side of town, serving mainly (both savoury and sweet) bagels and donuts as well as beer (on tap and bottled), the fact it's slightly more risqué gets (both good and bad) attention on the place. Winona Vance [Sam] gets in a fight with Zac Noel [X-Pac] as she's locking up. Winona [Sam] being put in the hospital with a broken arm makes the rest of [Cop Bar]'s staff double down on getting justice for the near break-in.
1x05: Dirty Work: The first episode from the degenerates perspective. The degenerates are just causing general problems for the town without reason because it's fun' but it's quickly losing their interest as the heat on them rises. The end of the episode has Matty Battle [Triple H] receiving a call from 'Mister R' [DiBiase] offering him a deal.
1x06: Blue & Black: A brawl breaks out at [Biker Bar] following whispers that the people who broke in are in the building. The bikers who work at the bar threaten to hurt anyone who works for the rival bar if they try and mess with business while in the biker bar.
1x07: Captain Crazy: A rumour that the current captain was moved location and promoted to smooth over allegations that he may not be fully sane, Officer Duke Gautier [Owen] is determined to find the truth while Sergeant Valentine Gautier [Bret] and Corporal Buck Morris [Davey Boy] are determined to keep the peace and catch the local degenerates.
1x08: Broken Strings: following an argument with an ex girlfriend Quinn Thorn [Jeff] finds his guitar smashed and has to work odd jobs to buy another one (starting a potential series c plot). Garth Thorn [Matt] ends up in a fight with Galo Villalobos [Hall] which ends when Roz Jerome [Lita] smashes a table leg over the back of Galo's [Scott's] head, knocking him out and giving him over to the police.
1x09: Badges & Bottle Tops: Captain Cooper [Neidhart] stops by [cop bar] to talk with owner Roscoe Power [Jimmy Hart]. Meanwhile the Gautier boys [Owen & Bret] interrogate Galo Villalobos [Scott Hall] about what the degenerates are doing and why, getting no information about the mysterious benefactor over than he pays them a lot of money depending on what they do.
1x10: Paid off: The mysterious benefactor 'Mister R' [DiBiase] pays Galo's [Scott's] bail, getting him free for a while but side-lining him too. The benefactor remains hidden in shadow but Matty & Dell [Triple H & HBK] have a meeting with him to discuss money and the next job.
1x11: Written in Ink: the tattooed bikers on the staff encourage regular customer Earl Black [Austin] to get a skull tattoo on his back and even take him with them to the tattoo parlour they frequent, finding it to be burned to the ground with a 'freaks get lost' sign planted in the wreckage. Murphy Graves [Undertaker] dismisses the rumours that the arsonist is the fire fascinated Vincent Gore [Kane] and even gives him an alibi when the cops come looking for answers, putting blame on someone in town who knows about Vinnie's [Kane's] love of fire, which is nearly every person in town.
1x12: Sergeant Heartbreaker: Sergeant Gautier [Bret] is accused of flirting with the staff at [Cop bar] leading to a paid two day leave to get heat off of him while he's ordered to remain at home. Officer Gautier [Owen] and Corporal Morris [Davey Boy] are put on patrol together, leading to a high speed chase of Reign Yates, Leon Rose & Zelda Hooper [Gunn, Road Dogg & Chyna] after witnessing a mugging, assault and graffiti from the trio, the cops eventually lose them down a back road on private Giles Rennell's [DiBiase's] land they would need a warrant for.
1x13: Failing Grade: Quinn's [Jeff's] lack of sleep leads to him getting a fail on an test forcing him to do the semester again. Enraged by this Quinn [Jeff] considers leaving the school but is encouraged to continue following Garth [Matt] ending up in hospital following [1x12]'s assault and mugging on Garth & Roz [Matt & Lita].
1x14: Microphones & Megaphones: [cop bar]'s owner Roscoe Power [Jimmy Hart] installs a stage for local acts in the bar, leading to Violet Croft [Eli] performing later that episode (the closing of the episode into the credits) and the night before the first performance the bar is covered in graffiti, leading to a massive clean up effort from the staff and local volunteers (like Mick Foley & The Rock).
1x15: Trench Warfare: Romeo Colombera [IRS] the benefactor's [DiBiase's] right hand man and go-to lawyer gives the degenerates an list of jobs, run the police chief out of town by the end of the year, run the bikers out of town, and ensure that 'Mister R' [DiBiase] the benefactor wins the next mayoral election.
1x16: Fuelling Up: after closing up [biker bar] Raven Knight [Kirby] narrowly avoids being burned by her motorbike exploding in a ball of fire. Her boss, Harlow Gore [Bearer] tells her to take the week off, leading to her coming into the bar and sitting at the back of the bar, sketching the regular customers and having a long conversation with local sports star Redd Wayne [Sid].
1x17: Brothers in Arms: Together: the Gautier brothers [Bret & Owen] are put on patrol together leading to the arrest of Zelda, Matty & Dell [Chyna, Triple H & HBK] before the trio are bailed out, the brothers interrogate Dell Pain [HBK] (leading to a very 'basic instinct'-esque scene with Shawn in assless chaps and boxer briefs) who gives them no information on their behaviour and why they are doing the things they've done.
1x18: Night Time Fun: the band attends a college party, unknowingly with Zac Noel [X-Pac] also in attendance, leading to the trio being high and drunk and the Thorn brothers [Matt & Jeff] end up in a fight, almost being thrown out of college entirely for their actions the next morning.
1x19: Head or Hart: Violet Croft [Eli] and (officer) Duke Gautier [Owen] meet properly for the first time on a blind date, leading to them walking through the streets of Canadian, Texas at night. The date is quickly ended after Duke [Owen] spots Leon Rose [Road Dogg] spray painting [cop bar] and gives chase after handing Violet [Eli] his number.
1x20: Grunt Work: The degenerates have a group meeting about how to sabotage the town meeting, leading to Rennell [DiBiase] coming out of the shadows to lead the degenerates in a coordinated attack on the town hall. Leading to the degenerates waiting until the town meeting to begin the next day.
1x21: Town Meeting: Mayor Robert Sweet [Duggan] conducts a town meeting, leading to everyone airing their grievances with the degenerates recent spree of activity. At the end of the meeting, paint bombs hidden above the townsfolk go off all at once, covering everyone in bright, almost neon, green paint.
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Flora Headcanons:
Guys, meet the Sugar and Sweet part of the Winx Club.
Or, as you already know her: Flora La Rosa of Linphea.
Under the cut are the headcanons because again, these get long. (Also some I’ve mentioned before, I think, but whatever. And again, these are mostly for my main verse ‘Balance/The New Company of Light’ and for ‘Left’.)
-Flora has a rather large family, one that stems partially from cousins adopted after the Great War of Magic ended. (So many were displaced or orphaned, and her family was just one of many who took in the children left behind.)
-Honestly though, she really just sees her immediate family often, the rest of them coming around only for major Linphean holidays. (Though they all stay in touch through letters, phone calls, and social media. Especially the cousins.)
-Flora tends to be closer to her father as they share a similar sense of humor and have similar hobbies (like leaf surfing and giant ladybug racing). But her magic took after her mother’s and her mother was her first magic teacher.
-(She was a bit late getting her magic and a bit late getting her wings. She was eight when her magic came in and already 13 by the time her wings sprouted. Though she wasn’t surprised, as her mother had been a late ‘winger’ too.)
-Flora’s mother is the Guardian Fairy of Linphea and helps run the Main GreenHouse alongside the Nymph of Linphea and the royal family. Thanks to Alyssa’s job, Flora got to meet and assist all sorts of people from her realm. (Including the witch triplets who went to Cloud Tower; Euphorbia, Ververine, and Gerbera. And Princess Krystal.)
-Rhodos works with a faction of conservationists in Linphea to keep endangered animals (and plants) alive. He mainly works with the magiwolves of Linphea and tries to keep their numbers where they’re supposed to be. And because of his job, he ended up adopting a young magiwolf pup they named Amarok.
- (They weren’t going to keep him… They weren’t. But because he was born a different pigment than his littermates, his mother had abandoned him and… Rhodos couldn’t very well leave him to die. Besides, Amarok is nothing more than an overgrown lapdog. Usually.)
-Miele was born when Flora was about six or seven, give or take a few months. And yes, there was a touch of jealousy when Miele first came home because Flora didn’t understand why her parents weren’t spending as much time with her.
-Her parents were quick to pick up on her anxieties about the new baby and started incorporating Flora into assisting with Miele’s care. (Like reading and playing with her while Alyssa made dinner and helping her toddle around the family’s garden while naming off the plants.)
-Honestly, they grew up close and Flora became like a second mom to Miele. (Which would later turn into a minor annoyance as Miele got older, but that’s fine. They’re working through that.)
-Sibling shenanigans still occurred however, like Miele taking and reading Flora’s diary or Flora planting frogs or bugs into her sister’s room. (Or the Great Baking War that Alyssa refuses to let them live down.)
-Flora’s paternal grandmother, Nana Rose, is close to her family and has been living with them since her husband, Poppop Miden passed away.
-She’s a witch who works at the local clinic, her focus is on potions. (Which she passed on to Flora and has tried to teach her everything she knows about them… And everything she knows on poisons too because sometimes a poison is necessary.)
-And yes, Nana Rose did have hope that at least one of her granddaughters would be a witch, but she’s still proud of them. Wings and all.
-Flora has a hidden angry side. It doesn’t come out much and she does her best not to show it often, but she has a major temper when she does slip and let it out. She will unleash her will into the plant life around her and have it come for whoever pissed her off. Or if she’s really feeling it, she may just go in for a physical attack. The girl can pack a punch. (Granted, this only happens in situations where loved ones are in danger.)
-Flora is the only one from her elementary and middle school friend group that went to a Magix School. Most of her friends went to the Linphean Academy.
-She’s the tallest in her main friend group, standing at 5’7.
-She’s one of the Mom friends in the group, the other being Tecna. (She’s the more empathetic and emotional mom friend. Tecna’s the ‘well you fucked around and found out the hard way’ mom friend.)
-Flora wasn’t too sure about Chatta being her pixie at first, but is beyond grateful for the pixie helping her come out of her shell more.
-They now attempt to have weekly (though it’s sometimes monthly) tea parties to catch up on everything.
-Flora doesn’t really ‘do’ competitive sports often, but leaf surfing is the best thing ever and it’s one of the few sports she’s better at than Layla. (Though she does have the advantage of being Linphean and getting to leaf surf regularly…)
-Flora is a romantic and enjoys the ‘rom-com’ things; walks on the beach, silly moments around the town, dancing in the rain. But that shouldn’t mean she’s not careful with her heart. She’s empathic (as many Linpheans are) and is good at reading people when meeting them. So unless you’ve got a ‘beautiful’ soul, she’s not going to be interested.
-Flora loves that her friends are from such vastly different places because it means she can learn more about the realms from people who actually live there. (And teach her their languages, though she’s only really fluent in Solarian and conversational in the others.)
-She’s a spiritual person, as many from Linphea are. Flora believes that just like plant life, all life is connected by an invisible root system and that life is precious and should be treated with respect. (However, she also recognizes that there are those who have ‘tainted spirits’ and need to be dealt with so they don’t harm others.)
-Flora’s not exactly shy. She’s just shy around new people. But once she gets to know you and considers you a friend, you’ll find she has no problem speaking her mind. (And sending random things to you over the phone because they made her think of you.)
-There’s a misconception that she, and other Linpheans, are vegetarian. That’s not entirely true. Linpheans do eat meat: fish. They don’t have it often, only for certain occasions, but they do eat it.
-Flora also doesn't mind dirt or getting dirty. (But there is a difference in natural dirt and gunk. Okay? And gunk sucks.)
-Flora doesn't swear often, but she has let a few slip out from time to time. Usually in heated or emotional or upsetting moments.
-Her favorite parts of an Linphean holiday are getting to spend time with her family. She loves it when they all get together and enjoy each other.
-Like most Linpheans, Flora is immune to most poisons. She’ll likely feel a touch of nausea or a minor headache when poisoned, but due to her immune system, she’ll be perfectly fine within a few hours.
-Despite the fact she’s usually the one trying to talk the others out of dangerous situations, doesn’t mean she’s actually afraid of them. Sneaking into another school, fighting through a realm of shadow creatures, going toe-to-toe with magical terrorists; those don’t phase her.
-No, her real fear is something a bit more… Relatable. She’s scared of losing her loved ones. The thought of having her magic and being able to do such incredible things, but not being able to save her family or her friends just absolutely shakes her to core. (Especially in her nightmares when she’s forced to watch them die and she can’t do a thing to save them.)
-(Freshman year really fucked her up when they were fighting the Army of Darkness/Decay. There was a moment she thought she’d lost Musa and Tecna and she nearly broke down. Thankfully, the other two fairies managed to recover with a few of Palladium and Ofelia’s healing salves, but it was touch and go.)
-Flora can’t stand bullies. Granted, not many people like bullies or tolerate them, but Flora just can’t stand for someone to pick on anything that can’t fight back. It’s why she’s managed to enchant a few endangered plant species to being able to speak up and fight back against those who want to pick them apart and why she’s always ready to take on the Trix.
-Flora was the one who helped catch Bloom up on some of the most important aspects of the Magical Dimension (or at least the parts that Stella glossed over or that Tecna overexplained to the point of making it sound alien even to Flora). In return, she learned so much about Earth culture… She was stunned.
-(And fell in love with Earth’s versions of disaster movies. She likes to show other Linpheans and be like “see, if we don’t start really helping the other realms with the ecological problems, this will happen here too.”)
-(Bloom may have also gotten Flora hooked on those ‘hidden camera’ shows... It’s a guilty pleasure.)
-Flora’s got a major sweet tooth. Major. Which is fine because the girl is great at baking. (The other girls are always excited to taste test.)
-Flora’s not quite as delicate as others make her out to be. Yes, her hands are soft despite being in dirt and soil 80% of the time (Linphean lotions are awesome), and yes she’s good a giving that gentle touch to her plants, but she’s physically stronger than she appears. She can lift 50 pound bags of fertilizer with little issue. She’s pretty handy with a shovel (and not just for digging, which her poor cousin Marlow found out when a prank went wrong). And she’s not ‘razer thin’. She has decent muscle mass and is a bit on the broad side. Doesn’t make her any less graceful in the air or on the ground.
-In a fight, she tries to be more defensive than offensive because she doesn’t want to get in Bloom, Layla, or Stella’s way. And she finds her spells work better as traps than as an offensive maneuver. That said, if she feels her friends are in extreme danger, she will not hesitate to call on the Plant Life around them for help. (And she’s known for getting physical too, so watch out for that.)
-Aside from Layla, Flora feels a connection to Roxy. The younger girl’s passion about animals makes her think of her father and she does her best to encourage Roxy to use her passion in her magic.
-Bloom introduced Flora to the game Minecraft. For the first time, Flora understands why Tecna gets so involved in her videogames. (Please send help, she may be addicted. But her farm is looking amazing.)
-Flora doesn’t really worry about fashion, preferring to go by what she feels is comfortable, but she has a hard time saying ‘no’ to Stella when the other fairy has ideas. (Which usually turn out to be beautiful and comfortable and really, Flora just has the best friends.)
-Flora enjoys the nights when all six Winx Club girls can just hang out and be normal for a few hours. Sleepovers, Truth or Dare, movies and junk food. She loves it.
-She got close to Mirta while the other girl was a pumpkin, even finding a way to communicate despite the spell. After the spell was broken and during their sophomore year, Flora was one of the students who helped show Mirta around and made sure she was comfortable. They often talk and catch up. (And yes, Flora did have a hand in helping push Mirta and Lucy together. She regrets nothing.)
-Flora has thought about a tattoo. Many people on her realm get them, though it’s not a requirement nor does it give any extra magical benefits. She just doesn’t know what to get and she wants it be special. (All she knows is where she’d put it, over her burn scar from the Wizards.)
-At her time at Alfea (and in her middle school), Flora was part of the Student Council and Eco Club. She did her best to help make her schools a little more ‘green’ and energy proficient. (Tecna was a big help in coming up with a design for more efficient electrical equipment.)
-Out of all the girls, Flora has the hardest time connecting to Musa with convergence. Their personalities and magical abilities tend to clash from time to time, so they need to really strike a feeling of harmony before trying.
-Bloom is the easiest to converge with. They shared a room and often had so many late-night chats that their auras and feelings just naturally come together when needed.
-Out of all the girls, she’s the most likely to continue living on Earth. She finds the realm so fascinating. (It was a magically dead planet that kept on living... Just.... how?)
-Flora’s current goal in life is to start the revival process of other dead realms in the Magical Dimension. She feels that if she and her friends can resurrect Domino, bring ShadowHaunt back to its former glory, and bring magic back to Earth, they should be able to handle bringing others back to life too.
#winx club headcanons#winx club#winx flora#winx club flora#flora la rosa#sweet and pure#spring flower
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Juliantina as teachers hcs
(bc it’s my first year teaching and i’m Going Through It so ofc i’m projecting)
Val teaches English, Juls teaches art
Val has been planning to be a teacher for a long time, majored in English and minored in education in college
Juls, on the other hand, very much stumbled into teaching
Juls has an art degree and does a little work as a freelance artist, started teaching as a sub and ended up falling in love with the job.
It's Val's first year as a teacher, Juliana's second
They meet on the first day of teacher in-service, at the first staff meeting.
Valentina shares half a doughnut with Juls while they wait for the meeting to start
After the meeting, Val heads to her classroom and realizes that she and Juliana are in the same hall but on opposite sides.
"You're much nicer than the last teacher that was here," Juliana says on the second day of in-service, perched on one of the desks in Val's room. "Prettier too."
Valentina is so glad she isn't looking directly at Juliana bc could her face be any warmer right now geez Val get a grip
By the end of the week, Val has decided that Juls is her best friend (she likes the other people she works with-but Juls is different)
There's a huge faculty dinner that weekend where Val meets some of the other teachers.
It's also when the not-serious-but-obviously-series rivalry between Juliana and Lucho begins.
(Lucho coaches football/soccer-most of the kids think he's an ass)
Anyway, by the time the school year actually begins, Val and Juls are the best of friends and both are oblivious to the heart eyes they have around one another
The other teachers, however, are not oblivious
Neither are the students
It starts on Monday of the second week of school
A student asks Val why Ms. Valdes is always in Val's room before the first bell. Val says that Juls brings her breakfast in the morning and they sometimes make plans for lunch
A few of the more shippers/fandom kids raise their eyebrows but the students accept the answer
They start watching more closely
(more under the cut bc this got out of hand)
It starts with just first and last period, the time of day when Val and Juls would most likely be able to visit one another in their rooms
It's like a schedule, the students figure out.
Monday and Wednesday, they meet in Val's room after the last bell. Tuesday and Thursday, they meet in Juls' room
They don't meet on Friday's, at first, bc of pep rallies, which they always leave together
By homecoming the rumor mill is flying
The other teachers hear and gossip amongst themselves, only occasionally missing a student eavesdropping on them
Almost everyone-meaning everyone but Lucho lol-are positive there is something going on between them, especially after homecoming
Bc Val and Juls had coordinated their outfits for everyday of Homecoming
Monday: pj day - they wore the same outfit but in different colors, red for Juls and blue for Val
Tuesday: decades day - they both go as hippies, one student is positive they switch glasses halfway through the day
Wednesday: meme day - a coincidence that they both wear t-shirts with horrible, yet matching, puns? I think not
Thursday: character day - thing 1 and thing 2, it literally could not be more obvious
Friday: spirit day - okay, doesn't count bc literally everyone is wearing school colors but the students are positive that Val doesn't own the white converse she wears (that have Juliana's signature on the heel)
They sit together at the homecoming game, with the rest of the teachers sure but still noticeably there with each other
A band kid catches them taking a selfie together and did Ms. C just kiss Ms. V on the cheek?!?!
Text to the almost school wide group snap chat that just says "please tell me someone caught that on camera"
Several people did, from several angles, including a yearbook kid who happened to be photographing the stands at that exact moment
(The extra, very zoomed in pic wasn't necessary but the sponsor won't complain-she ships it too)
Everyone is shocked when a very brave student asks both Juls and Val, during class no less, if they are dating anyone and they both say no
All the students are like “excuse me? Ur gf is literally down the hall”
Mission ‘Make Juliantina Canon’ begins
(there’s almost a hashtag for it, but the students thankfully decide that’s a little too much - they’ll settle for what is basically light stalking instead)
Word is spread to the teachers, accidentally-on-purpose, and pretty soon the whole school is in on it
Val’s mentor teacher casually reminds her that there’s no rules against co-workers dating
On school trips (Val somehow ends up coaching basketball and Juliana is co-sponsor of the yearbook so they travel together a lot during the winter), it works out so they always are sitting either in the same seat or right next to each other
Lots of discussion on the development of Juliantina during these trips on the student’s part, lots of teachers trying to discreetly tell the kids to shut the fuck up, they’re literally a seat in front of you
Val and Juls being oblivious to the rumor mill going wild around them and continuing to be friends
Just friends though, not more than that, even though they both very much want to be more than that
So. Much. Pinning.
As they get closer, Valentina gets much more expressive with her affection
Physical touch is her love language, I will die on this hill
If she and Juls are alone, they’re always holding hands or hugging or cuddled up together on the couch for their now weekly movie nights
They’re spotted more than once strolling down the street hand-in-hand
Even Lucho starts to see it and well, it’s kind of hard to miss now that Valentina has turned down his invitation to a date for the fifth time so she can watch Grey’s Anatomy with Juliana
By Thanksgiving, the whole school is going mad bc will they please just date already
The rumor mill goes wild when they find out that Valentina had hosted a friend’s giving over Thanksgiving break (this au takes place in an imaginary Texas where homophobia isn’t a thing, deal with it) and Juliana was already there when the first guest arrived early in the morning to help Val cook.
Juliana had come into the kitchen wearing pajamas that were just a little too loose on her and fixed herself a cup of coffee like she did it every morning, even kissing Valentina’s cheek as she stepped up to the stove to make herself breakfast
Please, they’re basically married
Juliana has spent a lot of time at Valentina’s place, it’s bigger and homey-er than her own, plus Valentina has a big TV and a very comfortable bed
Juliana basically lives there
Valentina doesn’t complain, even when it gets to the point that she has to bring Juliana’s blouse to work bc the one Juls wanted to wear, she had left at Valentina’s
(thankfully, the students don’t catch wind of that trade, can you imagine)
They spend Christmas together too
Valentina can’t really travel bc there’s still basketball practice and games over the winter break, Juliana simply can’t afford to travel to Mexico to visit her mother
So they spend Christmas together and one day while Juls is watching a basketball game and paying more attention to Valentina than to the actual game, she begins to wonder what exactly they are doing?
Like, Juliana has other teacher friends, but she doesn’t hug them, or kiss them on the cheek, or bring them breakfast every morning, or get sad when she doesn’t see them at work, or want to cuddle up on the couch with them after a long day at work and -
Oh shit I’m in love with her
One teacher owes another 20 bucks for betting that Juls would figure it out first (in my mind this is Kara Danvers and Barry Allen but that’s neither here nor there)
Juliana acts a little funny the next few days, avoids going out on New Year’s by claiming she has a headache when she’s really trying to figure out what to do now
Valentina shows up at her door the Sunday before winter break ends and demands to know why Juliana is avoiding her
Whatever she’s done wrong, she’ll fix it but please just talk to me
Juliana breaks and kisses her
Valentina kisses her back
“There’s nothing wrong, I’m in love with you.”
“Thank god. I’m in love with you.” Valentina kisses Juliana again. “Also, are you aware that literally the whole school ships us?”
#juliantina#headcannons#juliantina headcannons#part 2 maybe???#added to my ever expanding lists of aus that get out of hand#might turn this into a full fic#if i ever feel like actually writing#or have the time for it#anyway#hope y'all like these#i'll probably post more at some point
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round 3 of in-progress naruto thoughts, featuring me crying tears about pretty much everybody
[spoiler policy disclaimer first, as always: i’m only still in the early stages of shippuden (we just finished the asuma arc). i literally had zero interest in naruto growing up, so i remain unspoiled for virtually everything that happens past this point. i would love to stay that way, so please don’t interact with this (tags included, because the notifications now show them to me automatically) with any spoilery commentary, including even general things like “oh i love this show but it gets less good after X point” or “X season is better than Y season” or any general assessments of quality/likability/etc re: future seasons. Thank you! <3 ]
- well, folks. i have apparently reached the point in my viewing experience where i am deeply emotionally attached to virtually all of the characters and i care when bad stuff happens to even the most minor of them, because the asuma arc really ripped my heart out and used my feelings as ping-pong balls
- that said - i have to admit, if you’re going to kill a character, that was the way to handle it. it wasn’t glossed over or dropped like a hot potato; it had a huge arc attached to it and major development for the other characters involved and it came full circle at the end in such a quiet, complete way. i was hoping from the very beginning that the answer to “who’s the king” was going to be “children” (all i could think about was asuma yelling at kazuma “children aren’t pawns to protect the king!” during the sora arc) and ultimately that ended up being true, and i found that so satisfying. (painful. but satisfying.)
- SHIKAMARU. HERO. i always loved him, but what an incredible arc he had. and that episode, “team 10″ - WOW. wow. they really kicked it up a notch for that one - that was legitimately beautiful television, not just “good by naruto standards.” gorgeous animation/composition/editing...this show is in fact capable of magic, when it takes its time.
- grow up, you three. the shadow of death hangs over us all. some deaths may be harder to accept than others, but if you can’t get past that, there can be no future!
^^ this is legitimately my favorite line of the series. i can’t stop thinking about it. i love how tsunade is speaking from her own experience, and how she’s not wrong - nobody in this confrontation is wrong, really; shikamaru has his stuff more together than tsunade realizes, and tsunade is just telling the truth, and i just love how this entire line relates so closely to the thematic heart of this arc, which is the sanctity of children and the future they represent. like...so many characters in this show have seen so much death and tragedy, but we see children/the promise of the future pulling people out of that hole and back into a hopeful place. it’s literally tsunade’s whole story with naruto. she’s speaking from the heart, and it’s one of those lines that you can feel resonate across the whole story.
- kakashi, once again, coming to destroy me with his level of devotion to the kids. not even his own kids, this time. when he shows up at the end of “team 10″ and offers to take over for asuma and go with shikamaru’s group - i lost my mind. he’s been keeping an eye on those kids the whole time. nobody told him about what they were doing; he has no reason to be out at the gates at that time of night - he’s been keeping tabs on them. he knows exactly what they’re going through. he knows how they must feel. he wants to make sure they’re okay. and when he sees that they’re in an appropriate frame of mind for what they’re planning (aka, not unbalanced by rage or grief or the desire for revenge), he immediately offers himself up as an adult support figure. he inserts himself into that situation and assumes responsibility for making sure nobody gets hurt. he puts himself into a position where he can escort them through this experience safely (in more ways than one). he lets shikamaru take the lead and achieve closure, all while simultaneously monitoring the situation to make sure every choice the group makes is the safest, smartest thing to do. and then in the battle, he puts himself in between the kids and certain death over and over again - he saves their lives so many times.
the kids are so grateful to him for doing that. they respect him so much for it. they feel supported. they feel looked after. they feel validated. three kids who just lost their adult mentor in such a sudden, violent way - for them to have another grown-up step in and temporarily assume that role, for them to feel a pair of capable, steady hands propping them up before they fall down - that is so important!
kakashi is beautiful to me because he takes every horrible thing that ever happened to him and turns it into an unwavering commitment to help other people navigate the same rocky waters. everything he does is designed to catch people when they fall, particularly when it comes to children. he doesn’t have to take that kind of interest in asuma’s team. none of the other adults are monitoring them like that. but he understands what they’re dealing with and he knows they could hurt themselves if somebody doesn’t take care of them and so he steps in and assumes that responsibility himself. and then he does the same thing with team 8′s kids, too, in the next arc, when kurenai is out of commission. he takes all of his own painful experiences and turns them into ways he can protect other people from stumbling into the same pits he fell into, and i’ll tell you this for damn sure - he’d rather take a deadly hit himself than allow another cohort of children to be wiped off the face of the earth before their time.
i love that about him. i love that he turns all of the trouble he’s seen into ways he can be a source of strength for others. i love that he is always thinking about the kids. that’s the whole point of this arc: children are king. kakashi knows that just as well as asuma did, and the way he consistently throws himself in front of the children to keep them safe is my favorite thing about him.
- fucking LOVE that shikamaru turns down the feudal lord’s offer because he wants to stay in the village in case his friends need him. i feel like this kind of choice is never portrayed as a good thing in media - it’s always shown to be better to get yourself out there, try something new, leave old things behind, take a risk, make a change, as if staying home is somehow the same thing as settling or wasting your potential. i love how asuma lifts up shikamaru’s decision to stay rooted in his home as a worthy and admirable thing. the will of fire, indeed.
- the EMOTIONS i felt every time kakashi was helping naruto figure out how to complete the rasengan....when kakashi tells him “i truly believe you are the only shinobi who can surpass the fourth hokage” and then while walking away yamato’s all “you sweet-talked him” and kakashi immediately sets him straight like “no. no. i believe he can do it.” SOBBING.
- “good old asuma. he must’ve known you inside and out, huh?” i’ll be over here crying in the club, folks
- kakashi having conversations with sasuke in his head was Too Much for me ;__;
- we watched a bit past the asuma arc and are now into the part about the gemstone lady but the only thing i have to say about this new arc so far is about jiraiya and honestly i’m going to have to gif it to do it justice. that scene with him and naruto where naruto falls asleep on him just...struck me down where i sat. i was actually about ready to cry for real. my feelings couldn’t take it. i used to not really care too much about jiraiya in the shonen jump days (and yes, there’s some stupid stuff with him that you have to just look past if you’re going to enjoy things) but i love him so much now and i am finding myself so moved by the way he is rejoining the village and (re)building his connections with the people there, and how much meaning has been brought back into his life by the opportunity to work with naruto in particular, and how like...i mean, this is just my own impression, because i haven’t seen his full backstory yet, but he strikes me as someone who’s been running away for a long time, who had very little hope for the future, someone who experienced some terrible things and gave up, just like tsunade, until he runs into naruto. and now things have changed for him, and it warms my heart to see it. i love watching him take naruto on training field trips, and i love the depth of care we see from him towards naruto now - a far cry from the “i don’t like kids” of early shonen jump. i love seeing him collaborate with kakashi - tag-teaming their teaching and climbing in through the window to check on him in the hospital and teasing him about how silly he looks with a sheet over his nose. i’ve just become so touched by his progression and by the way the establishment of these relationships with “his” kids and the village as a whole (bonds, connections, all the things that this show can’t shut up about) has almost been a...healing sort of thing for him and has changed his entire outlook on life and given him a new sense of hope/meaning.
like. i can’t believe i am out here having jiraiya emotions after how little i cared about him when i first met him, but...here i am.
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Thought Experiment Part 3
Do it again, my way.
So this one gives me a degree of creative libery because I’m adhering to a simple premise of “give rey a girlfriend and eventually get to the point where they can beat the tar out of kylo ren.”
There is no “rogue sith” outlier in my version of this story and so my version of “The Sith Resurgence” wouldn’t even be named that. but I’ll continue to refer to it as “my version” simple for ease of use.
The story begins With Han Solo, Chewbacca, and a girl. they’re in a piece of shit ship that they’ve been using while they hunt down the millenium falcon.
This girl is simply refered to as “Kara”
The story of episode 7 plays out as it had in the movie. up until Rey and Finn meet Han and Chewie, this is the reveal of Kara proper and the eventual reveal that Kara is in fact running with Han and Chewie because her father Luke Skywalker entrusted her to them.
Yeah we’re going there. Mara Jade is canon in this version of the story, She and Luke had a baby. The eventual reveal being that Kara was increcibly young and hadn’t begun any force training when things went south with Ben Solo, and Mara Jade died protecting her child as a building collapsed in on her.
Racked with guilt over failing Ben Solo, and Leia. Luke chooses to go into seclusion, and (while a bit fucked up) chooses to hand Kara over to his sister and brother in law knowing that they’ll lead her right and it’s really the only thing he can think of that would even start to make up for screwing up with Ben.
Kara Skywalker takes heavily off Han having spent a large chunk of her life with him, she’s exceptionally care free, an exceptional shot when given the chance but has the kind of take no shit attitude from Leia. She’s been living under the assumption her real father died in an accident she’s too young to remember, but is suddenly shocked with surprise to find that not only is he not dead but the primary goal of the Resistance is to find her dad so she leaps at the chance to join Rey and Finn
Kara is also the first to get the crush on Rey, and Kara tends to be a more grounding empathetic kind of source for Rey who would over the sort be more angry with things.
We also don’t mince words here, Kara’s gay, Rey has never had a relationship with anyone long enough to realy know what she likes, but she likes Kara. and they’re in a relationship somewhere between the ending of 7 and 8. Kara is the one who declares her feelings and Rey wants to try.
The Majority of the events of Episode 7 playout as normal but keep the aspects that foreshadow the forcebond. Then on top of that this version of the story we’re going to make Kylo Ren a threat. regularly showing off just how often he’s willing to make examples of everyone around him to the point that the scene where he force chokes a dude after he proceeds to carry him by the throat out into the front to display his death to a bunch of other first order officers to make a show of it. if you are going to have Kylo Ren be a piece of shit scum of the galaxy bad guy, you make him do the bad guy shit.
Han Solo Dies and now it’s compounded. This is a man who’s now a father figure to two young women; Rey and Kara, and with the latter being much more closely tied to him, witnessing the death of the man who raised her being a galvanizing event that makes he have zero empathy for her cousin.
The events of episode 7 end in roughly the same fashion with that leg of the story ending with Kara and Rey staying with the resistance until Finn is no longer in a coma.
Episode 8 begins with Rey and Kara participating in the easrly space battle and the bombing run at the start...well I’m split between it doesn’t happen at all, or it’s happening with out a hitch. So I guess for the sake of things they remain more or less the same.
Meanwhile Finn comes out of his coma, Rey and Kara grab him and they shoot off to find Luke Skywalker.
Meanwhile Poe ends up getting tagged up with Rose. Rose having a lot of words to say to poe and a lot of things to guilt him for. He is in effect responsible for her sister dying and she’s basically going to stay stuck on him, during this event they both decide to go find the master code cracker on canto bight.
We get to Ahch-to.
Theres a lot of emotion. Anger, sadness, screaming. This is the reuniting of a father and daughter. the daughter having trhought her whole life her was dead. There ids a lot to go over
assume a couple of chapters are devoted to explaining everything from luke to kara, and rey, and everything involving Ben Solo.
This is also the formal introduction of the force bond. The Force Bond serves the same literary purpose and ultimately creates the same kind of back and forth that Rey and Kylo Ren are able to speak to one another, but not physically interact. While still antagonistic it does allow them to have a slightly better angle at “Seeing each others point” but it’s made very understood that Rey has zero romantic desires towards Ben Solo, that said, it’s also a little less likely that Ben Solo is going to die.
Canto Bight goes like this Rose and Poe go looking for the master code cracker, and...get both. The Benicio Del Toro, and the weird sauve dude. the fake cracker and the real one present two sides of neutrality. during interactions Poe and Rose find out that The true master code cracker has accepted jobs from both the resistance and the first order on more than one occasion, never once informing one or the other of how he refuses to stick to one side and boldly showing pride in how he’s taking advantage of both sides, the del toro cracker is...what you saw in the movie, the guy pushing the whole “the only smart move is to not bother trying to get involved, and when you do get out as quick as you can” Rose and Poe hate both of them equally, and they both die before episode 8 is over.
Episode 8 ends similiar to the movie but with some changes minor and major. it’s both Kara and Rey that help the resistance escape from the first order, both of them doing the clearing rocks with the force thing. This is effectively the moment they cement theirselves as a couple.
and second Luke doesn’t die. There’s no overlying reason. I just don’t think Luke has to die.
Well there’s one. sometime around chapter 30 of the sith resurgence there’s a discussion had with the protagonists where there’s mention of who knows how many force sensitives are actually in the resistance and have never known it, and this is brought up as a cool “maybe we can do something with that” which is very hastily dashed away because the only person capable of teaching the force is Aliana and Leia dislikes her, so the idea is tabled.
So in my hypothetical Luke doesn’t die and basically goes on to start training Finn, Rey, Kara, and a handful of students pulled from both in the ranks of the resistance. it’s recognized that he himself is fallible and that he should not be seen as the be all-end all of the jedi philosophy, only someone who gets the ball rolling
Episode 9 shows that Kylo Ren assumes what he believes to be his true nature and rises to the ranks of Sith lord, submerging himself in the teachings of all kinds of sith lord holocrons. Though it’s slow, arduous, and difficult when every once in a while he’s pulled back when Rey talks to him as Ben.
Rey and Ben’s relationship should be understood as complicated, but when I say complicated, I mean there’s a strained notion of listening to each other but taking a heaping of salt along with it. Rey does not take shit at all, she recognizes that Kylo Ren’s identity is a security blanket designed to make him look strong. through the times they see and talk to each other using the force bond she very frequently talks over him and through him, she doesn’t call him kylo ren, she doesn’t accept him as Kylo Ren. Rey is effectively in charge when they talk. However sooner or later something cracks and Ben becomes human...kinda. Rey does not consider Ben her friend, nor does she feel put upon to try and redeem him.
More that Rey realises Ben might not be totally in control of his actions
The events of this version of episode 9 are much more personal. more contained. it’s obvious that the first order are going to lose, but everyone is waiting to basically find out what they’ll do as their last ditch effort.
The plan? a last ditch effort to take out corruscant, destroy the entire galactic republic by way of eliminating the entire governing body.
How are they going to do it? The Death Star. Kinda.
So the first order very quietly start scavenging and eventually found themselves pulling the debris and other things off the Second Death Star, They rebuild the Super Laser, it can only fire once, and there’s a 50% chance that the things will explode, cuasing unknowably large amounts of collateral damage.
Hux has checked out mentally. Phasma is quietly planning a coup because holy shit the supreme leader is suicidal.
And he is suicidal by the way.
Ben Solo is possessed. By what? The ghost of Snoke. It’s a very gray area but Snoke, like any abusive parent figure wants to live vicariously through their child, and in being killed by Ben at the end of episode 8 allowed him to do so very literally.
because lets go all the way in with how blunt this metaphor for being manipulated into hate groups can be
The stories final battle is effectively setting over corruscant, a complete mess of an affair with the planet doing what it can to evacuate, the fully ammassed Republic and Resistance forces fighting against a first order with nothing to lose and have fully embraced their existence as a suicide cult.
Ben Solo, and Snoke fight each other mentally, while fighting Rey and Kara. There are Knights of Ren, who are fully aware of the situation with Kylo Ren, so there’s this huge fight where our three story focuses are fighting each other, while also occasionally fighting the villains henchmen, who are also occasionally trying to beat the shit out of Ben when he wrestles control of his body.
Kylo Ren is killed. Snokes spirit dies. Rey stabs him through the stomach, and pull it out through his side.
Ben Solo lives.
In the end Kara is the one who chooses to use the Force healing tactic to heal Ben Solo. citing simply that he has no reason to not live, be that turning himself over to the authorities, trying to rework himself. The simple point is he has to attone in some way, and that isn’t by dying.
The story ends with Rey and Kara celebrating, the republic and the resistance celebrate victory.
The end.
I’ve been working on this for days and it feels rushed here and there and I ‘m trying to not sweat to much detail on somehting dumb like this.
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carry on youtuber au
baz starts out as a cover artist, occasionally posting his own songs (he does violin stuff too)
but eventually he gets recognition and people are like “who is this person?????” so baz does a few q&as
oh BUT THEN he reveals that he also has so many other interests (books, movies, planting, coffee, Controversal Topics) that people want him to do other types of videos
and that is what starts baz on the long road of his channel basically being an everything bagel where he does a bit of everything and people find it very chill
agatha and baz become friends over their mutual love of gossip in the community (as long as they’re not apart of it)
(because baz and agatha and simon and penny aren’t problematic)
which brings me to agatha, she’s one of those channels that keep everyone updated on the drama and the shitty stuff that happens on YouTube as long as regular media
very opinionated, this gal is, so she shares her opinion on...everything
though, sometimes she’ll do a q&a and do her makeup and talk about fashion or what she’s into at the moment
she’s basically angelika oles
penny’s a booktuber!!!
she mostly reads and reviews fantasy books, as they are her favorite, but she’ll also do those videos where it’s like “i just read a shitty wattpad romance story, let me rant” or “my top ten favorite ya pairings” or “tier ranking every harry potter character because life has no meaning”
now, simon, the babe, he’s (and you cannot fight me on this) basically jenna marbles
his videos are so random and spurratic, he doesn’t even plan what his next video is, and he’s the youtuber
i would also like to point out that simon probably totally has adhd and would talk about it and his experience with it
his most popular videos are of him baking. he’s like (and hear me out) very good and very bad at it. like, all throughout the videos, everybody’s holding their breath’s like “oh no this is going to turn out terribly” because simon being in the kitchen is like a horse babysitting a dog, it’s a mess, however the end product is always perfect and amazing and by the end everybody’s drooling behind their screens
simon is also widely conceived as the weirdest straight guy ever. like people (from just looking at him) think he’s just So Striaght but a very Cool Straight Guy who people wouldn’t actually mind being around
simon has the most subscribers (the majority being that they find him funny and see him as a friend, the minority being people who think he’s Hot As Hell and okay yeah he’s a good person too but have you seen those freckles-)
then it’s baz because he actually started first and his following has been a journey, then agatha (she’s the newest, and her subscriber rate is growing rapidly), then penny (booktube is a small community sad face)
penny n simon are irl best friends and penny was the one who convinced simon to make a channel bc he needed something to help let out his energy, “plus it’s a little fun hobby”
snowbaz now :)
simon has followed baz from pretty much the beginning. he saw his cringy covers, his development as a songwriter, and the walls built around baz crumble over the camera
baz...well, he’s one of those people who think simon is Hot As Hell, but he also genuinely enjoys the videos. at first, baz was like “I’m not watching him, everybody watches him, and I’m different” so he always avoided the recommendations youtube gave him of simon’s videos (but it was also bc he didn’t want to confront that he was very attracted to simon)
and then, one fateful night, agatha sent baz a link to a video called “coming out” and under the link she wrote “youtube angel!”—that’s their nickname for simon—“shocking the world!”
baz click click clicked because hot guy is lgbt+????? and baz watched the video, commenting “proud of you” or something along those lines, and then he watched so, so many more of simon’s videos
simon, a boy who just came out as bisexual, just had his youtube hero comment on his video where he came out and is like !!!!!!
simon’s sexual awakening is baz
also, simon breaks the internet with that video, because he isn’t striaght and that’s so mind-boggling to everybody. but there’s always that one group of people who are like “i saw this coming. do you not remember that one time simon showed his socks and his jeans were cuffed-”
simon replies to baz’s comment and is like “oh my god thank you so much. you’re like my actual favorite youtuber” like a fucking Nut and people see that and say “omg collab” because they’re both relatively high status youtubers and their collab would be Powerful
then, summoning all his courage, simon dms baz on instagram with just a simple “hey, a lot of people are saying we should collab lmao”
“i’ve seen that” “heh uhm yeah” “maybe we could get to know each other and see if that would be a good idea” “yes! i’d love that”
and they do. they get really close and stuff,, but people don’t exactly...see that
you see, on twitter, they get in millions of arguments. people genuinely think that they hate each other to some extent, when in reality, they’re swooning at the sight of the three dot bubble
baz, on twitter: “you cannot tell me that people actually enjoy sparkling water. it’s trash, move on” (they had an argument over it, privately, and baz is making it public to cause a rise out of simon bc he finds angry simon cute)
simon, in response: “yo I’m throwing you in the trash as we speak. fuhhhck u”
so, when they collab for the first time, everybody at home is just like *shocked pikachu emoji* they end up doing a video where simon bakes baz’s mom’s recipe of cherry scones with baz. it’s kind of a big deal bc both simon and baz don’t want to ruin baz’s memory of his mother
in the end, baz tears up and gives si a big ass hug because they’re perfect, simon. i love them, thank you. the fans start shipping. hard. it’s simon’s highest viewed video
that surprise hug is also what makes simon realize that his feelings are much deeper than attraction and surface level forms of knowing someone
on baz’s channel, they were going to film a video where they talked about their experiences being queer, but then simon realized that his biggest, most prominent example was staring at baz’s jawline, so he had to be like “uhhh, actually, I’m not really comfortable with that yet” which is part true. instead, they do a video where they have argumentative discussions, like on twitter but in depth and with less insults
anyways, they receive pretty positive feedback on the videos, people enjoy them, so they decide to do more. also, they both live in LA, so it’s actually pretty easy to do them, plus they have a diverse area to do them in
also, i think it’d be nice to mention that simon will sometimes do twitch streams of him playing minecraft and then he puts edited versions on his channel. it’s worth mentioning because during this one stream, he ends up slipping up and saying “we talk a lot, actually. and i—i like him a lot” about baz, then he blushes like hell because i really just said that and it’s live oh god
all the while, baz and simon actually just start hanging out (without hiding behind wanting to do a video). one meet-up, they go to disney world and halfway through baz is like “uh, should we be filming this?” and simon gives him a smile and replies, “no” because that moment is for them and them only + the fans who see them together and ask for a picture/just take pictures of them being like a couple
their next collab is a bit of a fun one. behind the scenes, pen, ag, si, and baz all become friends, because of that one time baz came over while penny was there and he barely payed attention to simon, too busy talking to penny. anyways, they do a big four person collab where agatha basically teaches them how to do makeup
on penny’s channel, it’s book related. they have to do a look based on the synopsis’ of each other’s favorite books. baz gets simon, simon gets agatha, agatha gets penny, penny gets baz. baz: “snow, you’re holding it wrong. it’s like this” simon: *stares longingly at the brush that gets to touch baz’s face*
on agatha’s, the video is just titled Teaching My Friends To Do Makeup (ft. idiots who test my patience). they all suck. majorly. well, by all, i mean simon and penny suck at makeup
on baz’s, they do a trivia of sorts. if they get a question wrong, they have to skip a product. simon: “oh thank god less work” agatha, deadpanning: “i think i might kill him”
on simon’s, they have agatha and penny go against simon and agatha. si and pen being the ones who have to actually do makeup because, according to agatha, “since you decided to bitch so much, you guys are doing our makeup” “but-!” “nope, I’m Peak Brains of us all so I call the shots” “you’re not even-” “shut up” Everybody (and by everybody i mean the fans) is actually glad that they got to see simon doing baz’s makeup, because it’s literally them just being so flustered the whole time
the collab stuns everybody bc: “they’re all friends??????” plus, some people start calling them the Four Fucks because at one point penny says “fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, and most importantly, fuck me” after simon flinged a bunch of eyeshadow on her
okay so agatha and penny are just like: “these idiots need to get together already” because it’s very obvious that they like each other. like the eiffel tower in paris, you can’t miss it. everyone watching the videos also sees it, so you can imagine the comments
during one of si’s live-streams (he’s playing the hunger games minigame on minecraft), the chat goes wild because baz pops in. he plans on surprising simon with a picnic (he just thought that they could go into simon’s backyard or the park that’s a few miles away), but it was pretty spur of the moment so he didn’t think about simon doing a stream. and to be honest, simon’s stream was also spur of the moment, so it’s not like he made sure to tell baz about it
“simon! hey, i let myself in!” baz called from the front doorway. the chat is freaking because: “is that baz???” “omg baz has a key to simon’s house!!” “are they dating???” simon kind of just freezes up and starts sputtering as he reads the chat and tries to reply to baz
of course, baz doesn’t understand that simon doesn’t want baz to go into his office/room with his computer, so he does go in and as soon as he sees the livestream he’s like: “oh, uh, I’ll go” and simon unfreezes and goes “no, no, stay, I’ll just be a bit” “do you want me to...leave the room?” “you can watch if you want” (baz wants) “okay, sure” so simon pretty much shows baz how to play minecraft
i never finished this, do i?
#simon snow#tyrannus basilton grimm pitch#baz pitch#@rainbowrowell#penelope bunce#agatha wellbelove#was shepherd in this?#i dont fuckin remember#kinda just want this novel out of my drafts#i was going to write a whole fic on it...#*john mulaney voice*#and then i didnt!#so yeah#i can make a part two if people read this fuck shit#roight#carry on#wayward son#co/ws#awtwb#any way the wind blows#I AM SO FUCKIN SORRY TO ANYONE WHO FOLLOWS ME AND SEES THIS AND HAS TO SCROLL IM REALLY SORRY MY APOLOGIES#so much scrolling christ on a bike
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Crimson|Ink. (m)
↳ chapter twenty: your betrayal
❧ genre: tattoo-shop/hitmen au | tattoo artist/hitman kirishima
❧ fic warning: major character(s) death; happy ending
❧ chapter warnings: throwing up/bile, minor blood, mentions of drugs/drug dealing
❧ chapter song: Your Betrayal by Bullet For My Valentine
♬crimson|ink playlist | ♧ character profiles
[multi-chap masterlist] [previous chapter - next chapter]
Dabi’s booted foot kicked open the door to his office as he shucked off fresh blood from his hands before reaching into his pocket for a cigarette. He mumbled to himself with annoyance while placing one of the cancerous sticks between his lips and kicking over the small wastebasket that sat beside his worn-out desk. The sound of bottles clinking and rolling around the floor rang throughout the room when they spilled from the container and he plopped down on the desk chair.
“Fuckers - think they can run shit behind my back,” Dabi grumbled and kicked his feet up.
Igniting a small flame with his palm, the man lit his cigarette. Lips wrapping around it as he puffed it to life and finally took in a lungful of nicotine. With a deep and long inhale, Dabi deflated into the cushioned chair and exhaled, feeling his rage simmering down. Running a bloody hand through his black hair, he let his head fall back and rest, his blue eyes closed for a moment and tried to not set his entire office ablaze.
The last thing he wanted to do today was exhaust his energy on idiotic bullshit but on rare occasions, not even Dabi gets what he wants. That fact had been proven to be annoyingly true a lot lately.
To him it felt like more and more the past few months, his own pushers weren’t taking him seriously. Where they got the idea that they could screw him over without any consequences was beyond him. It was very clear that Dabi saw everyone around him as expendable, it was also clear that he was a raving lunatic who would cremate whatever he pleased without a single shred of remorse. The fact that some of his subordinates even had the balls to think otherwise made Dabi’s blood boil. Nothing pissed him off more than disobedience, especially when it came to his products, his livelihood.
So needless to say, when he found out a small group of his own workers were using his very own product to run and make cash for themselves like a couple of dumbasses, he didn’t have any second thoughts about teaching them a lesson. Once that lesson was learned and they were crying, begging for his forgiveness, covered in charred blistering skin with a few less fingers, toes and teeth to begin with, Dabi only laughed before disintegrating them into nothing but ashes at his feet.
All of that took energy, energy he didn’t have, and it was fair to say that all of this put Dabi in a worse mood than usual. And without you there now for him to take all that frustration out on, Dabi was on edge.
Sure he could torture anyone he wanted, but he didn’t get the pleasuring satisfaction from it like he did when it was you he was torturing. He missed those doe eyes looking back at him, full of big fat tears and unwavering fear but also unconditional blind love. Dabi craved to have those broken and shattered three words spoken back to him as he had his way with the thing most precious to him.
His angel.
The more he thought of you and the lack of your presence around him, the more pissed off and impatient Dabi got. It had been nearly a week since he called that shop you now hid behind, waiting for some sort of news. Of course, Dabi didn’t expect any of the tattooed men to really kill you, he hoped to drive a wedge between the trust that was built there, to cause the small crack that would eventually lead to a massive break and get you back in his grasp. But it was taking too long, way too long.
Dabi flicked his now burned up cigarette across the room, gritting his teeth.
He should’ve just grabbed your ass when he had the chance. He should’ve killed that red-headed fucker that you clung too while walking down the street. But no, for some reason Dabi wanted to play games because he was used to things going his way of course but once again, that wasn’t happening for him lately. The only thing that would bring the likes of a smile to his face was knowing how branded you were, how you would never be able to truly get rid of him. He relished in knowing that every time you looked at yourself, or that he looked at you, you both knew who you belonged to.
Before Dabi could continue to think, his phone started to ring. His eyes scanned the caller ID and he answered with impatience.
“About fucking time, I was beginning to think you were slacking on me.”
“I - I’m sorry sir, it’s just been harder now to get an eye on her and the source has been out of town until recently.”
“Shut up. Anything new?”
“Well as you suspected they didn’t take it, she’s still alive obviously. The thing is, now they’re always around her, she’s very well protected at all times and she hasn’t been back to her own place at all. I’m positive she’s staying with the red-head now. They even have his place on lockdown, someone is always around and watching.”
Dabi chuckled and shook his head. He expected this. It was a major annoyance and hindrance for him but it wasn’t going to stop him from getting to you, not in the least. He sighed calmly and sat up in his chair before replying.
“That source, when do you see them again?”
“Tonight.”
“Perfect,” he smiled wickedly and stood to his feet, “Bring em in tonight, I’m getting fucking impatient here and I’m done with playing games.”
“Kami I’m walking into work right now, I’ll text you okay?”
A pout could literally be heard through the speaker and it made Hitoshi chuckle and roll his eyes.
“You’re hopeless you know that, look I’m gonna see you again in a few more days so stop pouting!”
“I’m not pouting …” Denki replied with a whimper.
“Yeah and my hair isn’t fucking purple,” Hitoshi grinned as he walked into the bar he worked at, resting the phone on his shoulder so he could remove his jacket. “You’re so needy, you’re lucky you’re cute. Now I have to go, I’ll text you - promise!”
“You’re lucky I’m so easy!”
“I wouldn’t sound too proud of that if I were you Kami.”
“Shut up, you know what I mean. Ugh - I gotta go anyway and make a run with Lil’Mama. So I’ll talk to you soon.”
Hitoshi nodded and placed a hand on the bar top, “Okay, please be careful and safe, both of you.”
Denki awed into the speaker, probably smiling.
“Don’t worry Toshi, nothing is going to happen to her, I’ll slice and dice a motherfucker for this girl, she’s in good hands with me! Now be a good boy and get to work, bye!”
After hanging up Hitoshi smirked at his phone and sighed. He placed the device in the back pocket of his jeans and went to clock in, running a hand through his unruly locks. The door opened and closed as he was walking back to the front of the bar, making him look to see who it was and smiling.
“Hey Kage, long time no see! Ready for work?”
The silver haired male nodded with a friendly smile and pat Hitoshi’s back when they passed each other.
“Ready as I’ll ever be. How was your trip?”
“Good, just hung-out with some friends and took it easy, needed a little break. Hope it wasn’t too busy without me here.”
Kage shook his head and shrugged, “Nah man it was fine, no worries! But hey, we need to catch up, wanna chill after we close up tonight?”
Hitoshi nodded, agreeing with his pal before getting back behind the bar and setting up for the night. Soon Kage joined him and they made sure glasses were clean and ready, Hitoshi made sure there were full bottles of every kind of liquor lining the shelves and the bartop itself was clean. He was thankful his first night back at work after a week is with Kage, they always work well together and the nights go by without any problems when it’s them.
Kage actually started working at the bar maybe six to seven months ago after moving to the area. He and Hitoshi hit it off well, he was laid-back and carefree, a hard worker. It didn’t take long for the two of them to become friends and hang out every now and then after their shifts together. Once in awhile Hitoshi would catch him in town and they would grab something to eat together.
Any time Hitoshi needed off to go to see you in the next town over, Kage was always happy to help him out and cover for him. Hitoshi wasn’t proud to say that Kage could drink him under the table in no time and almost always ended up having to tote the hulking purple-haired man back to his own home. Any time they drank together was fun but always ended in a major headache and hangover from hell the next day for Hitoshi.
The two men managed to finish setting up just in time when a wave of people started to crowd into the bar out of nowhere, kicking off their shift with a bang.
Back and forth Hitoshi went, pouring drink after drink, taking a few shots here and there that were bought for him by happy customers. It wasn’t against the rules and it helped with tips, he just had to pace himself in between. A few hours passed and Hitoshi only had to use his quirk once to avoid a bar fight, other than that the night was good. Him and Kage were holding down the bar, doing tricks here and there to get even more money and good energy. Kage took a small smoke break and came back to relieve Hitoshi and give him his own small break.
With an appreciative smile, Hitoshi ducked out and grabbed a bottle of water before stepping outside for some fresh night air. He propped against the brick wall and took his phone out, chuckling at the numerous messages he had from the small group chat between him, Denki and you. Scrolling through the messages of nonsense and memes, he decided to just video call. Not even a second after ringing, yours and Denki’s faces popped up on his screen, full of smiles as you both waved.
“Toshi!” You both answered in unison.
He smirked and waved with a finger as he held the water bottle.
“Hey, cuties.”
You laughed and looked at Denki, pointing out the pink on his cheeks and earning a nip to your finger. You gasped with offense and Denki smiled, taking you under his arm and holding you close while the three of you chatted.
“How’s work?” Denki asked.
“It’s busy but it’s good. Gotta work my ass off this next week to get you guys some presents since I took off last week.”
“Aww Toshi, you don’t have to get us anything. Speaking of - we’re doing Christmas here at the shop, cooking, hanging out, games! So you have to be here.”
Hitoshi nodded at your demand.
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world sweetheart. How are you doing, that jackass keeping you safe?”
“Fuck you troll!”
Hitoshi smirked as he heard Kirishima in the background, he snickered when you flipped the red-head the bird off screen before you were pulled away and no longer visible. The sound of you laughing in the background filled his ears and made him smile, a relieved breath leaving his chest. Denki managed to get kicked in the crossfire of the tickle war going on between you and Kirishima in the background so he moved to a different room, your voice yelling out loud enough that you loved Hitoshi and said goodbye.
“Yes, he’s keeping her safe, we all are. You have nothing to worry about really, she doesn’t want you to worry anyway.”
“I know, but I can’t help it Kami. I feel responsible for her and being nearly two hours away from her at a time like this, with him around and knowing where she is - it’s fucking terrifying, I’m helpless here.”
Denki pouted, his yellow eyes softening and holding nothing but concern for his friend.
“I understand Hitoshi, but we’re gonna find him soon and we’ll deal with him once and for all okay? You’re not helpless here babe, just calling her like you do helps. It helps her not think about that shitty fact for a few moments, makes her forget. And I mean in all honesty ... if you wanted you could totally quit your job and just move down here, I’ll take care of you!”
Hitoshi looked at the screen to see Denki smiling deviously, he laughed and tilted his head.
“Oh yeah? You gonna be my sugar daddy, Denki?”
“What you don’t think I can be?”
“Well going by the other night and the way that you were riding my -”
“Okay okay okay - shut the fuck up!” Denki cut off the cocky purple-haired male as his hand frantically waved on the screen. “So maybe you’re more the daddy here in those terms. What if I gave you all the money and you act like it’s yours, that way I can still be the baby.”
Hitoshi gave a hearty laugh and shook his head.
“You’re something else Denki, what am I gonna do with you?”
Denki blushed and chewed on his lip. Hitoshi watched closely and smiled, placing his thumb on the screen and imagining brushing the pad of it over the soft piece of flesh. So maybe he was a sucker for this horny little freak since you found Kirishima. No one was complaining or shocked though, it was hard not to fall for Denki’s charm and pretty looks. Not even if you were Hitoshi Shinsou.
“Just think about it, okay babe? There’s nothing wrong in letting me take care of you, you can get a job around here, hell even work at the shop, I know you have some drawing skills. And if it helps put your mind and heart at ease to be closer to her, then I won’t hesitate to be your sort of backwards sugar baby.”
“I’ll think about it okay? In the meantime, I gotta get back to work and make more money so I can get you something special for Christmas, since you’re so cute and whatnot.”
At this Denki gleamed and nodded eagerly.
“Okay! Have a good shift handsome, text me later!”
After saying goodbye Hitoshi ended the call. His head leaned back against the wall and he looked up to see just a few stars peeking their way through the clouds.
Maybe moving wouldn’t be so bad. In the beginning, it was only half of his heart that was two hours away, now the other half was there too and it was getting harder and harder for him to be so far away.
Hitoshi pushed off of the wall and downed his bottle of water before tossing it into the trash can and returning back to work. For the rest of the night his shift went smoothly and finally it came to a close. Kage sighed and leaned against the entrance door of the bar after the last customer walked out at 2am and it was locked. Hitoshi groaned as he stretched his arms up high above his head and rubbed his back.
“Getting old there Shinsou?” Kage chuckled, rubbing his neck.
Hitoshi smirked and shrugged. “Guess so, maybe I should start taking some multivitamins or something. Let’s get this place cleaned up so we can take it easy!”
With a smile, Kage nodded and the two worked together in cleaning glasses, drink hoses, counter-tops and such. Hitoshi counted down the register and put away the loose change, divided the tip money evenly between him and Kage. Once everything was done, the two grabbed a few drinks of their own and got comfortable on the other side of the bar. The perks to working where they did was the free booze, as long as it wasn’t any of the more expensive shit and they didn’t get too hammered at work of course.
The silver-haired male handed Hitoshi a shot before pouring himself one, with a smile they both downed them and hissed at the burn of the liquor. Hitoshi chased it down with a swig of beer and sighed.
“So,” Kage started, after drinking his own beer, his matching silver eyes glistened when they looked at Hitoshi, “I see (Y/N) is still alive, yeah? Dabi’s not happy about that.”
Hitoshi quirked a brow, body going stiff and cold as he looked at Kage, his purple eyes narrowing at the guy. He was smirking at him and it wasn’t anywhere near friendly. The last thing Hitoshi hears before blacking out is the sound of his bottle slipping from his fingers and shattering on the floor.
Purple eyes slowly fluttered open, a tired and weak grunt leaving Hitoshi’s chest as his head hung low. It was pitch black wherever he was, eyes straining in the dark to try and make out shapes. There was a numb tingling in his arms and Hitoshi went to move them, only to realize that he couldn’t.
In fact, he couldn’t move at all; not his arms, his legs, and suddenly he realized that he couldn’t even move his own fucking jaw. Something was stuffed inside his mouth. A gag?
Panic started to flood Hitoshi’s system, his body trying to move, trying to budge. His breath began to grow shallow and his hands began to tingle - he couldn’t see shit. Hell, he could barely fucking breathe. Where the fuck was he?
“Finally wake up, sleeping beauty?”
Hitoshi’s head whipped in the direction of the familiar voice, wincing when his vision was suddenly being flooded with light. The sound of footsteps drew closer to him, looking at the ground he saw four different pairs of feet before looking up. Standing in front of him was Dabi, a blonde with gray-blue eyes and a scar splitting the middle of his forehead, an older male with gray hair that was smoking and had round eyeglasses and last but not least - Kage.
Hitoshi zeroed in on his coworker, eyes widening in his panicked state. A boulder dropped hard in his gut as he looked at his friend, trying to speak but his words not leaving past the gag in his mouth. Kage didn’t seem to be here against his will like he was, in fact he looked rather calm and satisfied. His friend watched him curiously as bile began to crawl up his esophagus.
“Must be hard to breathe huh?” Dabi finally spoke, breaking Hitoshi’s focus on Kage and bringing it to himself.
Purple brows furrowed, his panic making its way into a sudden burst of rage.
Hitoshi tried to lunge at Dabi, getting nowhere at all due to his bounds and the two strangers holding his chair back. Out of nowhere, Hitoshi felt something cold press to his temple, he looked from the corner of his eye and saw the oldest male standing next to him, grinning a smile with missing front teeth as he held a gun to Hitoshi’s head. Immediately he froze, not daring to try and move again. His purple eyes burn in loathing at Dabi, however, breathing heavily as he tugged at his bonds once more.
“Hitoshi, meet Jin and Giran, you already know Kage right?”
Is he fucking serious? Does he expect Hitoshi to reply?
He sends Kage a seething glare before turning his attention back to the man in front of him. Dabi chuckled before he looked at Giran and back at the bound man, rubbing the side of his neck with a sigh.
“Oh yeah the gag. Well I could’ve done a lot worse, like knocking your teeth down your fucking throat, cutting out your tongue, sewing your mouth shut, just beating you to a bloody fucking pulp until your lungs filled with blood or collapsed. You have no idea the things I want to do to you, Hitoshi Shinsou,” Dabi’s expression finally slipped from smug to borderline rabid, hand gripping Hitoshi’s hair and yanking his head back roughly. “First, you help that little bitch get away from me and proceed to fuck her like clockwork any time she shook her little ass in your face. You took and touched what’s fucking mine, and one day I’m gonna fucking kill you for it.”
Hitoshi didn’t flinch when Dabi shoved his head back and kicked his chair, making it screech against the floor as it moved back a few inches. The chair nearly fell back before Jin and Giran caught it. Giran held the gun to his temple steady in the process, Kage raising a brow from where he stood against a wall.
The psycho was furious, literally fuming - smoke rose from his body and filled the room with the distinct smell of ash.
“Dabs calm down, you can’t get too worked up and leave a mark on him remember,” Jin spoke, trying to calm his leader.
“I fucking know idiot, I’m calm. Take the fucking gag out, I want him to smart off at least once, dig himself into a deeper hole for the next time I have him.”
“B-Boss, his quirk.”
Dabi growled with annoyance and pushed Jin out of his way, un-doing the gag himself.
“He won’t fucking use it you moron, there’s four of us and one of him, he can’t use it on multiple people and if he is fucking stupid enough to even try, we’ll know and blow his fucking brains out.”
Jin nodded, looking genuinely hurt from Dabi’s scolding. Once the gag was out from between Hitoshi’s jaws, he gasped, taking in lungful after lungful of air. Drool seeped from the corners of his mouth and he managed to wipe it off on his shoulder, groaning and moving his jaw around after to try and get the feeling back into it.
“What the fuck do you want? How did you find me?” Hitoshi growled out, looking up at Dabi from under his purple locks.
Dabi smirked and tossed the gag to the floor, waving off Giran to put his gun down and then motioning for Kage to come over. Kage pushed off from his spot on the wall and took his place next to Dabi, crossing his arms as the stitched man patted his back roughly.
“You fucking know what I want, powder-puff. It’s not rocket science, I’m a fucking drug-lord. I can find anyone I want, except for that little bitch! At least that was the case - until I found you.”
Hitoshi’s inital rage sputtered out, his brows furrowing at the insinuation.
Dabi continued to speak before he gets the chance to respond, “I gotta hand it to you, you did a damn good job at keeping her hidden, even though I had you, it still took me a bit a get her location. That made me realize I needed an inside man - my man Kage here. He got that job working with you, getting on your good side and in the end getting me all the information I needed.”
Hitoshi looked at Kage with confusion, that feeling of bile rising up once more, the guy only shrugged and smirked at him. They couldn’t mean ...
As far as he could remember, Hitoshi had never spoken a word about you to Kage. He never had spoken a word about you to anyone, no one knew you even fucking existed except the guys at the shop of course. Hitoshi trusted no one with knowledge about you, especially not Kage. Sure they were work buddies but that didn’t mean shit. Not once in all their conversations, even drunken ones, did Hitoshi let your name slip from his lips, so no - there was no fucking way Kage had information.
“Whatever he told you is bullshit then, I’ve never said a fucking word about her to him.”
“Not that you remember right?” Dabi questioned with an evil smile. “You see Hitoshi, you aren’t the only one here who can fuck with people’s heads.”
A long finger tapped at Dabi’s temple as he chuckled and watched those purple eyes widen, Hitoshi’s expression going from smug to sheer disbelief. His mouth went dry, he tried to question the two before him about what the fuck they’re talking about. The fear in him breaking through more prominently now.
“Mind Compulsion.” Kage finally spoke up. “It’s my quirk. You see all I have to do is make eye contact with you and you become like a slave to me. You do whatever I want, that also means speaking, I can tell you what to say or get you to tell me something. After it’s all said and done, you have zero memory of it. Those ‘headaches’ you’d get every morning after we’d drink together, that’s the only con really for the victims of my quirk. So long story short, we drink, I use my quirk, you give me information and wake up the next day with any memory of it and thinking you have a hangover.”
Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
The sound of Dabi laughing and cackling like a maniac was drowned out by a high pitched ringing in Hitoshi’s ears and his head hung low. If it weren’t for his body being tied to the chair, he would’ve fell to his knees on the cold concrete. Hitoshi couldn’t tell if he was sweating or freezing, everything was numb and his stomach was lurching.
“Give yourself a hand Toshi, you told us exactly where she is.”
Hitoshi couldn’t contain the contents of his stomach anymore; they burned as they made their exit from his system and onto the floor. Dabi quickly jumped back with an amused grin, his crazed hyena laughter ringing deep in the his ears. Dabi stood there, relishing in the breakdown happening right in front of his eyes. How there were tears pouring from amethyst eyes, along with bile dripping from Hitoshi’s mouth and onto his jeans as he hurled everything he had, dry heaving when there’s nothing more to expel. Dabi was pissed that he couldn’t physically hurt Hitoshi right now but god did he forget all about that at the sight of the now broken man. It’s like he could hear his heart shattering, the sobs and retching like music to his ears.
“This is all your fucking fault Shinsou. You should’ve just left her to die, at least it would’ve been more humane than what I have planned for her now. Just imagine what she’ll think when she finds out her own best friend, her own fucking family, is the one that sealed her fate. Now, thanks to this,” Dabi paused and held up Hitoshi’s phone, “We have all the details we need for when we make our next move.”
“Please, j-just leave her alone! If you want someone to fucking play with and kill just to get off, then kill me! She’s too terrified to say anything about you, you fucking psycho, no one is going to come for you if you promise to leave her alone! T-Take me instead please, I’m f-fucking begging you, don’t hurt her anymore Dabi … please.”
Dabi rolled his eyes, tired of listening to the pathetic cries coming from Hitoshi. His booted foot connected with his chest in a hard kick, making his chair fall back. Hitoshi grunted as the air left his now sore lungs from the impact of the fall, his head ringing after being smacked against the ground. Soon there was an agonizing weight on his chest and Dabi crouched down, his foot on his ribs and resting all his weight on it. A cold hand gripped at his jaw harshly, making him hiss when Dabi jerked his head up to lock eyes with each other.
“Don’t worry you piece of shit, you’ll get your wish, no doubt about it, but first I need you one last time. You’re gonna go to that little fucking party and you’re gonna get her alone, those idiots trust you with her life and won’t question when you ask her to go outside together, right into my arms.”
“They’ll fucking kill you. He’ll fucking kill you!” Hitoshi warned through gritted teeth before spitting in Dabi’s face.
He isn’t smiling for long before Dabi placed his opposite hand on Hitoshi’s hip and engulfed it in flames. Ripping a scream from his mouth. The flames don’t last long before Giran and Jin are both pulling Dabi off of Hitoshi.
“Boss stop! You can’t fuck him up too much for it to be questionable when he wakes up!”
Dabi kicked like a child and threw both men off of him. He took a moment before telling Kage to come up with some sort of narrative for the new small sized burn on Hitoshi’s pale skin and walked back over to the man laid out on the floor, his shirt now charred as he breathed heavily from the pain. Dabi was resisting every urge to kick him, to make him cry again. Just the mention of that red-headed fuck had him in a silent rage.
Kirishima is nothing, nothing but a fucking obstacle in his way that can be dealt with easily. That fucker isn’t invincible, none of them are!
After taking a long deep breath, Dabi straightened his clothes and put on a smug smile and towered over Hitoshi, pressing his boot to his cheek.
“Let them fucking try, she’ll be fucking dead before they reach me and then for Christmas, I’ll send each and everyone one of them a very special, very bloody gift.” Dabi grinned, pushing Hitoshi’s face to the side as he turned to walk away and waved, “I’ll make sure to wrap up her heart extra pretty for Mr. Kirishima.”
Before Dabi walked out of the room, he ordered the remaining three men to deal with Hitoshi, for Kage to clean him up and get him back home, making sure to cover up for the burn he so irrationally left. Kage nodded, him, Giran and Jin all bowing as their leader exited.
Hitoshi looked up at the ceiling above him, tears stinging the corners of his eyes again. He was drowning in hopelessness, guilt and shame. He failed to protect one of the most precious things in his life and he had no one to blame but himself. Everything was so fucked up now and Hitoshi cried even harder as he thought about how he won’t have the chance to warn anyone, to try one last time to save you. In no time he’d be waking up in his bed with no memory of this night.
Hitoshi’s jaw clenched and his eyes screwed shut as he shook his head before letting out a shaky defeated breath.
“I’m so sorry (Y/N) … I’m so fucking sorry.”
A series of violent buzzing next to Hitoshi’s head is what wakes him from a dead sleep. His eyes cracked open and immediately he’s groaning from the pounding in his head. His hand searched under the pillows until it grabbed a hold of the ringing phone and he answered without looking at the caller ID.
“Hello.”
“Toshi, did I wake you?”
A sleepy smile grew on Hitoshi’s face at the sound of your voice and he shook his head. The tired man went to roll over and lay on his back, hissing when there was a sudden pain in his side.
“Hey, you okay? Toshi answer me!” You questioned, the concern in your tone thick.
Hitoshi brushed his covers off his torso, brows knitting in confusion at the blistered area of skin on his hip.
“Give me a second kit.”
Removing the phone from his ear, Hitoshi went to his messaging app and saw he had an unread text from Kage. The sound of you clicking your tongue impatiently carried through the speaker and made him smirk as he read the message.
➥ Kage : Hey man, I left some burn ointment in your fridge. You may or may not have gotten a little too wasted last night and thought it would be cool to see if you were flammable or not. Let me know if you need anything else.
A hum left Hitoshi, with a shrug he put the phone back to his ear.
“Sorry, I’m fine sweetheart, just a little hungover. What are you doing calling me so early huh, miss me that much?”
You laughed sarcastically on the other end. “You’re so full of yourself.”
“But you love me.”
“I do love you Hitoshi, very much. But - I was calling to discuss a few gift ideas for Denki with you, I mean only if you wanna know but maybe you don’t need my help at all. I just thought since you were so fucking whipped for him you might wanna go all out for your first Christmas together.”
Hitoshi rolled his eyes and chuckled. He tried to muffle his slightly pained groan when he crawled out of bed and went to head for his fridge.
“Alright kitten, let me hear it.”
#crimson ink#eijirou kirishima#kirishima eijirou x reader#kirishima x reader#bakusquad#hitmen au#tattoo shop au#bnha#mha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#bnha x reader#mha x reader#angst#slow burn#happy ending#dark themes#read warnings#bnha writing#mha writing#anime#manga
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Another Hiatus?
straight up thinking of taking another hiatus from Tumblr...I hate to, but I’m thinking maybe this place just isn’t good for me, even after such a long time away in the first place. More under the cut, if anyone wants to read it.
So, I struggle with a lot on a daily basis. Things that I don’t even tell what few people are around me in real life, because frankly, I don’t really have anyone to tell that I think would want to help. I’ve had to end a great deal of my friendships because they were unhealthy/toxic and others ended because I’m disabled and cannot keep up with more “social” or outgoing people (which unfortunately is usually interpreted as disinterest because of constant rescheduling or inability to go out).
No one even knows that I’ve started a particularly hard round of chemotherapy that involves painful injections, because I worry that people just get sick of hearing how I’m actually doing versus the image of me they think should be real. I lie and say that I’m fine, when I’m struggling mentally and physically. Very few people know that I’m in such severe constant pain that even with strong opiates, medical cannabis, benzodiazepines and constantly watching my diet, I’m spending 12+ hours a day in bed. I never get below a 6/10 anymore. I can’t remember what anything below that feels like. My body tortures me every waking minute.
I’m back to where I started when I began treatment in 2012 and my mental health has taken a nose dive because it all just feels so futile, you know? Treatment after treatment, surgery after surgery, fighting tooth and nail to have the bare bones of a life only to fail and wind up at square one is...Hell.
Add onto that, that I can’t get a FT job (so no PTO or good health insurance) despite having multiple degrees and that I had a position lined up before COVID that might now no longer even exist when this is all over + that the Part Time job I have that I love has completely changed now that I’m work from home and I HATE these new tasks and miss my coworkers + that I live with an actively abusive family member + that I have no friends beyond surface-level acquaintances despite so much effort to try and make and keep friends + that I’ve struggled my whole life with internalization of everything...and you’ve got a walking disaster of a human being who should probably nowhere near this site.
My therapist is through the school I graduated from, so I can’t even see them, and it wouldn’t matter because our relationship has progressed too far and they just treat my visits like a social hour and we never even talk about my real problems. It’s pretty damn pathetic when your needs don’t even matter to your therapist.
In real life, I’m a doormat to people’s needs. You need a house sitter? That’s me and they’ll pay me pennies to do it. You need someone to teach your children during COVID because we’re co-distancing? You need someone to drop everything and help you? That’s me. But when I need something, anything? A cup of tea or a genuinely asked “How are you?”? Forget it.
I miss fandom. I miss the escape. I miss the discourse. I miss the photosets and the freaking out over characters. I miss fandom buddies.
My experience of fandom since I last left Tumblr maybe 2-3 years ago has been very solitary. AO3 fics that I *do* comment on or discord servers where I’m one of dozens or more of people that no one can really remember because it’s hard to try to “compete” to be heard with 5 other people who are friends that are talking in depth about parts of fandom that you are new to...that and Google bloody Images have been my fandom for the past 2 years.
It’s fucking lonely out here. I feel like a fandom cowboy, alone on a prairie, occasionally passing by other cowboys and wrangling the livestock together for a moment before heading on with a half-hearted tip of our hats. It’s more than likely the reason why I haven’t published a fic in nearly 2 years, even though I’ve completed 1 or 2 little ones. I used to write all the time, all the time. Fics, ficlets, drabbles, headcanons. Screaming into the void is so much harder than just sitting there with your eyes closed and pretending there is no void.
I got into Classic Doctor Who and back into a few “older”/smaller fandoms, and when there’s no fic to be had...your only option really is Tumblr. I was writing again (am writing again?), and the photo/gif sets and the meta had me fucking inspired for the first time in...so long. I was addicted to writing again. Wrote more in the last two weeks than I have in years. Started writing a fic that’s already longer than any I’ve ever written before.
I thought I could handle it, Tumblr helped so much before in the Golden Days of Tumblr. I became part of a huge fandom friend group on Skype back then. I had friends. I had true fandom, not this bizarre one-person-imaginings experience of fandom.
I was able to see something triggering or an opinion I disagreed with or deal with bad anons or any of the bad parts of Tumblr. I was able to see just the good, overall.
But, now, I don’t know that I can? I’m too internalizing now? Someone replies to a post with a minor disagreement and it makes me hate myself. I get a slightly disgruntled anon and I cry. People don’t tag very triggering or super stressful political items anymore, so I can’t “unplug” when I need to avoid seeing things about riots and horrendous crimes against people and so I wind up with an additional panic attack because I can’t do anything about anything.
I don’t know if the vibe of this place has changed or if I’ve become one of the dreaded and dreadful “snowflakes” who just can’t handle shit. I think both, honestly.
And it fucking sucks, okay? Because I was starting to get back into the swing of liking this place. I was starting to branch out and reconnect with folks I knew from before that were/are wonderful or make new fandom acquaintances. I had the carrot of having a collection of true fandoms in front of me. Of feeling connected in this time of horrendous isolation (both for the world and me personally).
But the stick is so much bigger than I remember. So much larger and harder; a tree trunk log instead of a twig switch. I’m not taking little love taps or slightly stinging slaps, I’m being beaten with it. By it.
I don’t know what to do. I want to keep Tumbling. I want to keep building friendships and talking about dumb fandom things. I want to reblog old gifsets and have convos in the tags. I want to share fics/art back and forth. I live for the discussions that I’m starting to have again. I live for seeing 3 bloody notes on an original post I made. I live for knowing that someone, somewhere is seeing something I wrote or made or said and likes it.
I don’t want the internalization of disagreements, of a perceived inferiority to other users, of feeling bad about myself over things that aren’t even a big deal on Tumblr but are to me. I don’t want to feel even more ‘less than’ than I already do.
I don’t want to feel extreme anxiety over the insanity of the world that I can’t escape even on here because tagging is a thing of the past and it’s apparently a major faux pas to ask for tags on triggering content, even if I fully support the matters tagged. I live the insanity okay? I’m a queer, disabled, person of color, in the small-town Midwest living in poverty. I’m not some racist who just doesn’t want to see your protest content. I’m struggling to get by.
Maybe I’ll just stop producing content? Only reblog and like? Only comb through character tags or chat with some of the fantastic people that have offered? My inspiration is declining, along with my mood.
I’d honestly contemplate a permanent hiatus (just not a deletion) if all of the fandoms that I was in had discords, but they don’t. If they do, I don’t know about them. Though, honestly, discord is not the same, and I always feel even more insignificant there. Drowned out or unimportant.
Huh. Drowned out or unimportant, that could really be the title of this pity post. Possibly the title of an autobiography, if I was ever self-indulgent enough to write one.
If you’ve read this whole thing, then wow. Thank you, because you’ve just given more of a shit about me and my feelings than anyone in a long, long time.
This post probably won’t be up long, it was honestly meant to be a pity-party cathartic release of feelings and will, no doubt, make me feel more pathetic the longer I leave it up.
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Watcher as Companion: Eiheune
While I’m here, may as well do one of these for the new girl, too.
If your Watcher, or other Pillars OC, was a recruitable companion instead of the main character, how and where would they be introduced to the main party?
You’re first introduced to Eiheune “Hentzin” Manoi as a minor NPC at the Hall of Revealed Mysteries in Defiance Bay. She’s a cute, fun counterpoint to the seriousness of Grimda and her fellows. Maybe she helps you with an alternate method of liberating The Theories of Pandgram for Nedyn—or maybe she pranks her by having you pass along a book that turns out to be something else entirely.
Fast forward five years, and you’re taking a stroll through the Sacred Stair when hey, look, it’s that giggly aumaua again. She’s probably pissed off at least one of the other congregations by barging into their space and Waeling it up. Probably giving them an argument, too. As far as she’s concerned, Captain Stompy is a fine argument for her “sometimes the world makes no damn sense and we have to find our own answers” philosophy, so when you turn out to be following him (which also means getting far away from the pissed-off Magranites/Gaunites/Berathians who are now looking at her funny), she can’t join you quickly enough. Besides, you said that thing was Eothas? Her Waelites do a lot of important teaching and scientific work back home, but they’ve never been the only game in town. She has friends in the Eothasian congregation. Time to get a closer look at what they see in him.
What would their companion quest involve?
Eiheune is part of the “I only wanted to do research!” squad along with her “sisters” Sikkerneq and possibly Clelia. So, you help her do some research, looking for Waelite texts and going on a pilgrimage to the Hall of the Unseen. What does she find there? Maybe a text that says something that gets to her, maybe a person she couldn’t help, maybe a shrine or dream that doesn’t feel the way she was expecting. Time to talk about what she’s doing and why and whether it’s the best choice.
What traits would affect their approval, positively or negatively?
Benevolent and Clever responses are the sovereign method of gaining her approval. Dourness, bluntness, and excessive gravitas put her off, and please try not to be too mean about the whole Waelite priestess thing. She does important work in between all the shenanigans.
Which other companions would they get along with, and which would they bicker with, in Party Banter?
In no particular order besides “I thought of these ones first”, as per usual:
She likes Edér quite a bit, at first. He’s fun, easygoing, and reminds her of some of her congregants back home, and the values and philosophy that underpin her priesting square up pretty neatly with those of Night Market!Edér, if she learns about the gods’ origins. Later on, once the party starts meeting orlans and he won’t shut the Hel up about his Opinions(tm) about them, she starts to wonder if he has a fetish or something. Good luck convincing her that he doesn’t. She still enjoys spending time with him, but dude is totally an orlan chaser. Anyway, she will absolutely be on hand to try and comfort him in her own Wael-tastic way after his quest. Whether it works, well, that’ll depend on a few things.
Aloth has exactly the sort of personality that makes it the least surprising thing in the world that he was mixed up with a Woedican organization. Eiheune doesn’t love it, but she can see where he’s in need of help. Even destroyer!Aloth is in for some well-meaning lectures.
Eiheune and Xoti make a real effort to be friends and support each other at first. The wheels come off pretty quickly when it turns out that their worldviews are fundamentally opposed—Xoti is 100% certain of everything Gaun wants from her and kith in general, and she wants nothing more than for everyone else to be equally certain of her rightness. Eiheune will not be able to resist rubbing it in when Xoti turns out to be quite wrong.
Maia is in for a lot of curious questioning about Rauatai; the Cuostei are more or less distant relatives of today’s Rauataians, and there’s been occasional intermarriage over the centuries, but Eiheune’s never actually been there.
Tekēhu is cute and fun but a little vapid for her tastes. At first. She comes around when it turns out he just needed more experience of the world to really set the gears turning in his head.
Serafen, over time, ends up becoming one of her best friends in the party, though he’s politely firm about not wanting to hear too much Wael stuff from her. She takes it well.
Pallegina is pretty much everything she dislikes, and it’s almost certainly mutual, but they can set aside their differences long enough to be curious together about the progress being made by animancers and other scientists.
Eiheune is pretty certain that Rekke is an actual gift from Wael—he’s sweet, attractive, up for shenanigans, full of interesting stories, and willing to talk religion without making her feel like she’s banging her head on a wall the way Xoti does. Ixamitl and Seki, if they’re not actually distant relatives, bear enough of a resemblance to each other to make it seem that way and give Eiheune an easier time of picking up a little of it while Rekke learns Aedyran, and in short order the two of them are discussing Wael only knows what in some kind of unholy Sekxamidyran hybrid.
She comes in for a bit of needling from Konstanten, because she’s a tiny baby who is silly and cute and enjoyable to gently poke fun at. She absolutely gives it back to him.
That is some attitude on Fassina. She is absolutely getting pranked the moment her back is turned. Nothing destructive, just a little signal to stop mistaking meanness for a personality.
Ydwin doesn’t get on with her for similar reasons to Pallegina. Eiheune puts a heroic effort into staying interested for the first five minutes of pompous lecturing and then can’t maintain it anymore.
Vatnir clearly needs help. Eiheune tried, she really did. Ugh, Rymrgand worshippers.
Would they be romanceable? Would they end up in a romance with another companion, if both were left unromanced (à la Maia & Xoti)?
So, uh, the whole aro thing. Her “romance” would function most like Serafen’s, if anything. It’s no skin off her nose if you want to call yourself her lover, but the label means nothing to her, and she doesn’t much care. And you sure as Hel don’t own her. Insist on monogamy at your peril.
I wasn’t kidding about the “fucking her way through the party” thing, either—she doesn’t understand “romance” as a separate category, its trappings make her uncomfortable, and as far as she’s concerned, sex is something you do with your friends. And these are nearly all her friends. (And hey, the only two other aumaua being a cis woman and a godlike means no worries about pregnancy!) She’s likely to sleep with (or at least offer to) pretty much all the men except for Vatnir (yes, even destroyer!Aloth in a particularly charitable moment, though grandmaster!Aloth is probably a bridge too far), plus Maia. Which of them are interested enough to take her up on her offer is another matter. And she doesn’t go back to Tekēhu more than once or twice, because their sexual personalities are badly incompatible.
Would anything make them leave the party, or would they be there for the long haul?
Tank her approval and her gentle trolling becomes mean-spirited mockery when she can’t just avoid you, but I think she’d be too invested in following this Eothas thing to the end to actually leave. Prepare to be hit with a quick Arkemyr’s Dazzling Lights and some loud swearing when you part ways after Ukaizo, though.
I’m going to take the liberty of adding a question of my own, since it’s something I’ve thought about: What would her approval conversations look like?
-1: She philosophizes pointedly about how kith deal with being wrong about major things.
-2: “Watcher, we...we need to talk. What in Eora are you doing? What is any of this meant to accomplish? What answer are you looking for?” Piss her off further and, while she won’t leave, she just might refuse to talk to you for the rest of the game.
+1: “Thanks for having me along. It’s been exciting. Eye-opening.” She giggles at her own pun. “Did I ever tell you about my ordination?” The story is rather on the nose at times; she’s blindfolded, stripped of her vestments, handed a “holy relic” that turns out to be a rusty watering can, and left in the middle of a labyrinth, which she has to traverse to get her clothes back before finding her way to the group of priests and acolytes to reveal to them the wisdom contained in the “relic”. True? Probably. You never quite know with Waelites.
+2: On the heels of a chat about your respective views on the whole situation out there, “You’re my friend, right? And with any luck, you will be for a long time. I want you to know that I do not love by halves. If you need something of me, if you want me to share your bed, you need only ask.” Perk up at the mention of bed-sharing to trigger her “romance”, or tell her “thanks but no thanks” to turn her down. Or berate her, if you’re a monster. And maybe her love comes with a gift, like Serafen’s—a scrap of handmade ribbon that she’s put a blessing on, wearable in the head or neck or maybe waist slot. Maybe as a trinket, if we really want to have fun. Of course she used her tablet-weaving skills to create an eye pattern, what do you take her for?
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everyone and their dog is doing it and everyone is absolutely allowed to share their opinions so i want a turn but first let me clarify:
hello im yase, been around since 1.0. I am of turkish and nogai descent and i can speak fluently in tatar, turkish but my english doesn’t hold 100% so i will be all over the place.
Unfortunately this will all be word of mouth and may be taken as vague posting, but I have experienced issues since the release of 4.0 and would like to give my opinions. I want to let this all off my chest this is just a huge vent basically so i guarantee my english will be terrible.
the most important point: NEVER EVER SPEAK FOR ANOTHER CULTURE. NEVER EVER SPEAK ABOUT A CULTURE YOU DON’T KNOW. YOU HAVE SPREAD FALSE INFORMATION AND I AM SO HURT.
another point is ITS A VIDEO GAME GUYS (does not apply to everything but some people really need to take a step back because people are concerned.)
Here’s the hot topic I’ll talk of first: garleans. I personally do not play one as I prefer to play characters that would never be involved in a sense with the political agenda because in real life im too stupid to comprehend anything like that so i wouldn’t even know how my character would behave with the hot topics. I really do think people need to take a step back and see that everyone who is putting in their input is making solid points but personally I would never compare them to nazi germany though I see why people are generalising. I always saw it as tsardom of russia with the use of roman influence as well, something obvious in naming conventions and the way the ranks/monarchy(?) works but it’s not so clear what the main influences of most places in this game if you have a look at the bigger picture. Without like full on spoiling, its weird to have this view to me with the knowledge that ascians are behind this. Are you implying anyone who plays or was influenced by ascians is also under this umbrella?
Also why THE HELL WOULD YOU TAG SOMETHING KNOWING IT WOULD GET A LOT OF TRACTION AND RESPONSE THEN BE LIKE “you guys misunderstood, I was expressing my feelings” lol no. “ I don’t understand where this is coming from, and at this point, I don’t really want to.” then why did you even fucking bother do it in private dont tag it.
You are COMPLETELY valid to feeling uncomfortable, it is fine because with how much of this world we have there will be aspects some of us don’t like. You are not inclined to involve yourself with someone if they roleplay as a garlean but you do not need to start publicising it in a way that will paint the community in black and white when its truly a wider spectrum.
YOU CHOOSE WHO YOU INVOLVE YOURSELF WITH AND WHO YOU PLAY WITH, PLEASE GET AWAY FROM PEOPLE WHO GIVE YOU NEGATIVE FEELINGS OR YOU’LL SPREAD IT TO OTHERS.
from that initial and very brief tagged post there popped up many others and new discourse is arising, opening discussions about many things which is better then being blind to it all. but if you have personal grievances with someone and you state its over, let it be over. It’s not healthy behaviour. it’s also troubling to see someone complain a lot about the game and continue to play, no one is forcing you or holding a gun to your head. take breaks if you need to and play less frequently. like, real life is so much more important and there are people in this community that prioritise relationships with players etc.
Also, please stop fucking talking about mongolian/turkic/turkish culture like you know things. 99% of the big mouths in this community are americans. like majority are white americans.
over the course of this expansion i have had many people of varied backgrounds share with me some terrible experiences and i myself have seen some truly stupid shit.
WE ARE HERE TO HELP YOU LEARN OF OUR CULTURE AND WHERE TO CONTINUE DOING SO. DO NOT INTERPRET MEDIA AS ACCURATE REPRESENTATION OF CULTURE.
it is absolutely not hard to tag a post and ask around, someone will pop up. I’ve been doing my very best to let everyone i know that i can help with learning about my culture or to find someone who would be more then happy to explain and share with other cultures. But when you go off of a documentary you saw of Genghis khan or only know of the tourist white people scenes of istanbul you as a community say some TRULY dumb shit.
I like to try and be patient because i myself when approaching someone of a culture i admire and am curious about i want that in turn. But if you say to me things like “Ainu aren’t real” or “Tatar people have nothing in common with tribes from the Altai mountains” its hard to do so.
FFXIV regions are not just “Germany” “Turkey” “Mongolia”. If you think this, it’s clear to me you don’t know shit and are too lazy to explore, further just google shit its not that hard. I had someone tell me that my people could never be in this game since its “Straight up mongolia” fucks sake NO ITS NOT. The designs vary and i can see the differences in simple things like words because i actually bother to do research even coming from a turkic culture. There were some beautiful little things dropped that linked to not only my people but others like Uyghur and Altai. The only place in FFXIV i think could only have a singular influence is Kugane, because from a foreigner’s perspective that’s already interesting enough. Many people have grievances and real issues with how SE has handled Doma’s influences and no one ever talks about that. Representation for asia in media has turned into this mess of specific east asian countries, the trio that even then gets categorized into China/Japan with brief mentions of Korean culture.
Its frustrating. There are people who are happy to teach you. Who are willing to show what is wrong with the picture.
I have read several posts about Turkey/istanbul/Antalya. Yall fuckin weird you guys seem to think its in U.A.E or some shit with how you act. It’s in the Mediterranean/Europe/Asia/Middle East and there is no such thing as a specific looking Turkish person. You claim everyone is specifically white/brown, HELL NO. It’s a mixed nation and that’s the history of the land, if you had ever fucking stepped in turkey and spoke to any person on the street they’ll say their heritage that lead them to there. People claim Ala mhigo’s influences are turkey but i have yet to see that. As someone who has lived there and has heritage there and is strongly connected to that culture, i dont see it. sure the ala mhigan gown had patternings but thats also present in my nogai culture too because parts of turkey’s society descended from the line of the Kayi tribe. Just fucking LEARN TO READ GUYS. None of you guys even know what the altai mountains mean and i could sit and explain over and over again if you let people SPEAK.
Look at Thavnairian items. We have outfits that are completely different, a full length dress and then a bustier. you can’t start generalising things in video games to be one culture you have to realise most places in this game have several influences. We don’t know a lot but everything we have been given has been varied enough to pin point it to ONLY one influence.
I don’t want to just keep going about this simply because im growing frustrated.
The thing with Viera complaints. I think some are valid but some are stupid. For one as I make this post it hasn’t even been confirmed so there is no reason for policing Viera to a severe extent. Considering all the Ivalice content in game has been an alternate universe kind of thing its dumb as shit. But feol viera being made without understanding the knowledge that people who have played rw picked up is quite frustrating. As a community, its important to help people when we have information that others may need that they cant understand the context of.
I know people are worried about them being fetishized, that is my legitimate fear too as a huge ivalice fan. But this is a repeated cycle especially when we consider generalizations like miqo’te especially seekers and belly dancing or when au ra arrived and people thought xaela were genghis khan basically.
The game is not solid, there are so many holes in the lore and the plots and i know people hate that but we fill the gaps with our own opinions and theories. While I understand some people think we need to move forward in 2019 because “japan is xenophobic”, its a very difficult thing to do. THEY DO HIRE PEOPLE FOR CULTURE ADVISING. THEY TRAVEL OFTEN AND DEVELOP WITH THIS. IT’S NOT LIKE THEY WENT ON GOOGLE AND SAID “yeah a japan land would be fun” they literally have people hired specifically for this stuff. however, at the end of the day its a company that has yet to show it can evolve with the times. Its becoming more and more evident with the recent patterns of main titles in FF and side projects having so many issues in story/lore/management. remember 1.0 basically died being absolute garbage and this is salvaged from that.
its really late and i had a terrible evening so i may not be making the most sense but theres more important things to worry about then to make this game a miserable experience when it could be a huge learning opportunity for everyone. There’s no need to generalise people into categories because of characters they choose to develop but its important to note with majority of people standing up higher on the pedestal are those speaking for the minorities groups that have direct influences in the game.
also lol if you fucking say ainu aren’t real to me one more time i will fucking throttle you
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💡+ Repcom + college AU?
Okay, so this may be a little bland bc I… wasn’t all that involved at college outside of classes? It was difficult as a commuter who was living at home and also working 30-40 hrs a week, so I’m going kind of off of hearsay of the College Experience for some things.
Omega are actually just roomates, of course, they’re some combination of brothers, foster siblings, and cousins sharing a way too-small apartment and paying out the ass for it because it’s a 15 minute drive from campus. They are all perpetually broke, even when they break the rules to take in a 5th room mate (Corr) under the table to help with rent.
The Nulls, on the other hand, are all grad students.
Nobody actually knows what the fuck Mereel is studying, except that he’s taken an improbably number of science classes. Similarly, no one actually knows how long he’s been there.
Also the reigning champ of the “intramural poker tournament” and the person most likely to know exactly which campus orgs are hosting events with free food that day.
Ordo as an undergrad had a degree in something practical and Kal-approved, like, idk business, or something but also “accidentally” ended up with a minor or double major in art history. “Whoops. No idea how that happened.” He totally knows how that happened, who does he think he’s kidding. Like he’d ever not obsess over minute details of his GPA and degree plan.
Jusik could be getting his engineering degree, or he could be getting his nursing degree. No one’s actually sure at this point, least of all him, and Zey is his frustrated undergrad advisor telling him he has to commit to a degree plan.
Zey is not actually Etain’s advisor, but Jusik brought her by “informally” one time and now somehow? She just keeps coming to see him? And gets away with it until she chooses an actual major bc Zey’s too tired and Etain’s too tired and he figures he might actually do some good.
Jusik and Etain actually went to the same conservative private religious school in high school. Jusik walked out the second he turned 18, but Etain lived at home in an incredibly tense situation with her family for her first three semesters. She’s there partially on a tennis or track or swimming scholarship and she teaches both sports and piano private lessons to try and help pay tuition costs.
Her family eventually kicked her out mid semester, but she got lucky enough to find a rooming situation with Callista Masana, who she met in a women’s studies class she was taking for her elective without her family knowing, and Callista’s fiance.
She still is as likely to be found in Omega’s apartment, crowded or not, because she and Dar are both very Involved ™ plus it’s thirty minutes closer to school than her apartment. She will sleep on the floor with one of Dar’s jackets for a blanket if it means she gets an extra thirty minutes sleep after staying up to write that midterm paper.
She proof-reads Atin’s papers and he helps her with her required physics classes, so this works out well anyway. They get along famously well.
She and Dar meet while they’re both just trying to get their basics and neither has a firm major in mind. She’s good at rhetoric and poli sci but a bit directionless; he really wants to go to culinary school but is looking a t a business degree because he’s been told he has to be “practical”.
Dar walks her to her car in remote parking every single night after their shared 7-9p class and they basically end up dating for months before their respective room mates can get them to see that’s what it is.
Niner is an accounting major, and he’s also the one keeping the apartment from exploding. He wants to die slightly less when his housemates bring him espresso in the morning.
Laseema is a member of the school paper, and roots out two separate scandals in her first two semesters. She’s also one of the student leaders of the Relationship Violence and Sexual Assault Prevention program and works in the campus cafeteria. She’s the only one living on campus.
Fi starts out as an athlete, but loses his scholarship and a semester of classes after some sort of accident. It takes him a while to come back, especially because campus counselling services are dramatically under-resourced and he doesn’t have ready access to outside resources. Ends up in a student government campaign focusing on fixing that issue, and also ends out coming out as bi or pan his senior year.
Corr has taken at least one turn as the school mascot. He’s also involved in some sort of peer counseling/support group initiative and is a chem/poly sci double major.
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A Supernaturally Stucky Halloween - Part 1
Pairing: Stucky X Reader (Eventual)
Summary: Hunters, their lives are never easy. What happens when you literally stumblre into the world of the supernatural?
Word Count: 1607
Warnings: It’s a Supernatural!AU, you don’t exactly need to watch the show to read. Minor violence, background character deaths (if you know Supernatural it’s for the backstory). This is pretty much an intro, some snark but nothing too insane.
Parts: One / two / three / four / five /
Author’s Note: Written for my boo’s Halloween challenge, Kumi @rotisserierogers . Love you, hoe. Because I’m a wordy bitch, this has been broken into bite-sized miniparts, y’all. (Currently, 4 parts, but it’ll probably be 5 by the time I finish.)
Your life as a hunter had begun with heartbreak. But don't all hunter stories start the same? Well, your story is a little different. Your mom was a junkie, your dad had been raising you on his own after she had vanished out of the fifth go at rehab. She came back, and she came back different.
You'd seen just enough, having come out of your room to get a drink. (You were really just procrastinating that homework). And caught your mother with her teeth in your father's neck. She must have left a wake of bloody bodies on her path back here because you then saw a man cut her head off. That man had been Nick Fury, who had tried to head off your inevitability of becoming a hunter by talking his neighbor, and the local sheriff Phillip Coulson into raising you for the rest of your high school career.
Of course, whenever you possibly could you were over pestering Nick about the world of the supernatural, that you had literally fallen into. He tried to shut you down, but it had been unsuccessful. Especially after you'd met Steve Rogers, a little dork who had been more than happy to share his knowledge and correct you on the misconceptions you'd found trying to research the lore on your own. Which had become your solace as you'd dealt with the loss of both of your parents at once.
Steve visited Nick with another young hunter, he'd referred to him as Bucky. To say that Bucky thought he was cool, was an understatement. He picked on Steve just about any time you saw him. Which you were sure was a sign of aggression, trying to establish his male dominance or whatever. Even if Steve assured you that that wasn't the case.
Every once in a while, Steve and Bucky's deadbeat guardian, Alexander Pierce would show up and the boys would disappear for months at a time. They refused to tell you what he did, but you could observe the changes when they came back to Nick’s. Bucky would be throwing himself hard into the charming side of his bravado, and Steve would be quieter than usual. You had to wonder why Nick would let Pierce screw up the boys like that. But it wasn't your place.
You'd lost touch with the boys around Steve's senior year of high school. The last that you had heard from them, Steve had gotten into a prestigious art school and Bucky was going into the hunting business with Pierce. You'd opted for college as well, at Nick and Phil's insistence. You had double majored in occult history, and linguistics. All useful skills for when you would finally become a hunter.
You'd graduated from college in three years with your double major. It'd be simultaneously the funniest thing you'd ever done and also the hardest. Phil had been really supportive and you think that was partly the secret behind your success. But once you'd gotten out, gotten a real day job. You were finally able to go on hunts.
They started small, nearby. Your job had been flexible, but you still needed to get the work done. Then after a year, you got a new job that allowed you to work remotely. And you could finally travel outside of the five local counties.
Of course, now that you'd really joined the hunting world you started to meet other hunters. They all seemed to have stories of a group of hunters that called themselves the Avengers. There was an immense amount of chatter about one hunter that went by Captain America, and another that went by the Winter Soldier.
The hunters that you meet all had stories to tell of the boys’ latest conquest. Which if you were perfectly honest, which you weren't with these hunters. All sounded extremely far fetched. The two boys taking down an entire nest of vampires, killing an ancient God, taking down one of the Princes of Hell. And from the way these hunters would talk about them, you were able to infer their character and you hoped you never crossed paths with them.
Of course, you didn't get what you wanted. You were on a big solo hunt, there were two vampires terrorizing a small town just a few hours away from the place you had been staying for the month. You tracked them to an abandoned farm just outside the city limits. Unfortunately, when you'd got there it was holding only the drained victims from their latest feast.
You had scanned the perimeter when you felt a presence. You tensed, preparing yourself to cut some heads off when you heard him.
“Nothing here, Buck.” It sounded like Steve, but a couple of octaves deeper than you remembered. And the only Buck that you knew had been Bucky. You peeked around the corner, eyes falling on Bucky first.
“Well, well, well. Look what the vamps dragged in.” You teased, as you stepped out from the hall you'd been hidden in. The boys had tensed before they realized it was you.
“When did you get taller?” You asked, looking up at Steve, who now towered over you. “Last I saw you, you were just a scrawny little dork.” You teased, as Steve pulled you in for a hug.
“Still a dork.” Bucky jokes as Steve releases you and Bucky spins you into him for a hug.
“And you're still over the top, I see.” You tease him. He flashes you a brilliant smile, and you can feel his rumbling laughter.
Of course, you wound up at a bar to catch up with the boys. Bucky seemed to be on the top of his game, having gotten both the waitresses and bartenders number. In less than ten minutes too.
“Don't punch me, but I'm going to ask that question now. What happened? You'd gotten into a good art school, please tell me you at least finished it.” You ask, looking at Steve. He gave you an out of character noncommittal shrug, trying to avoid the question. You stared him down, refusing to drop it until you knew.
“Alright fine, turn off the death glare.” Steve resigns. “Yes, I did finish school. Got an amazing internship too. But that one shows up, and all ‘Pierce went on a hunt and didn't come back.’ And that's why I'm back in this.” He explains to you, and you quirk an eyebrow at him.
“Did the asshole finally meet the monster that he couldn't take down?” You practically growled, and you could see the small spark of shock in Steve's eyes.
“Don't look at me like that. Just because you never told me verbally that he was abusing you, doesn't mean that you didn't through body language. I knew.” You tell the boys, grabbing Steve's hand. You knew that Steve was more openly tactile than Bucky had been.
“You know how horrible it felt to watch you guys get happy and healthy with Nick. And then have the asshole show up, whisk you away, fuck you up, and then drop you back off? I think I threatened to kill him forty-six times. And the one time Coulson literally had to hold me back so I didn't Molotov his car as he drove off. Which that's your baby now, so I guess it was a good thing.” You ramble, stroking your thumb against the back of Steve's hand.
“Knew there was a reason I liked you,” Bucky says, giving you a soft smile. “Yeah, he's gone. We're getting better. Actually, our group helps a lot with that. All have our issues, all have our strengths and fortes.” Bucky tells you, and you give him a crooked smile.
“When you'd turn into this big softie, Barnes?” You tease, and he gives you a chuckle before taking your other hand.
“There were some circumstances that lead me to realize that we're not exactly immortal. Point being, we've both faced Death. And somehow seem to keep coming up on top. Would like to keep it that way. But in case we've worn down our luck. Teaches you to live more in the moment.” Bucky says, with a smile that suggests he's up to something.
“What he’s trying to say is that things have changed. And we’d been talking about finding you recently.” Steve tells you, his cheeks dusted with a soft flush.
“We want you to join the Avengers. You've been making some buzz in the hunter world. Think your skills could help us out.” Bucky says and were it not for the explanation you would have asked why. As it stood now, your jaw had dropped.
“I've been making a buzz, literally all I hear about are you guys. How could I possibly make any sort of noise going up against that?” The words were out of your mouth before you could stop yourself. Both boys gave you a funny look.
“There's this hunter goes in, speaks fourteen different languages, knows all the occult stuff from memory. Even the more obscure beings.” Steve says, and Bucky tilts his head at you.
“How could you not generate a buzz?” He asks, stroking the back of your hand. “So, what do you say? Become an Avenger with us.” It sounds so casual just rolling off the tip of his tongue like that.
“Don't the others. Shouldn't. Shouldn't I meet them? Don't they get a say?” You finally spit out, and Bucky laughs.
“Believe me, when I say you've been making a buzz. You've crossed their radars. They had a say in this.” Bucky tells you, and you nod.
Part 2
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blood tells (a tale all its own)
Darcy looks a lot like her mother.
Most of that is by nature, some of that is by choice.
With a name like “Current Events,” she thought she’d be safe taking the class. News and stuff, right? She could handle that. Darcy really should have known better. She should have considered that ‘current’ could have variable definitions depending on perspective. Unluckily for her, the professor took a long view encompassing most of the past fifty years. The syllabus was the only warning she had, the outline told her that on week six they’d focus on assassinations that shaped society.
She clicked on the corresponding link to find the assigned reading and felt her stomach do a dip and roll. “The President Who Wasn’t - Friend or Foe of Humanity?” was the title that jumped out at her. She debated dropping the class, but eventually settled on skipping week six.
It had been five years. It was still too soon.
She knows she’s lucky. She knows.
1. Her mutation is easily hidden. She can pass.
2. Her family loves her.
But she still wonders about the other side of her family. Her father was a foundling, albeit an oddly well-funded one from what her grandparents’ investigators could turn up. They never found anything on his family though, in spite of the money they poured into the endeavor. It’s a mystery, but they’re almost certainly the ones she got her x-gene from.
She knows that her father hated what she was. She knows. There are entire youtube channels devoted to his fiery speeches, preaching hate against her and others like her. Sometimes she can’t help but wonder what if. Would he have changed his mind if he knew about her? Probably not. She’ll never know for sure, but she wonders. She tries not to let it eat at her.
Sometimes she succeeds.
When Darcy was twelve years old, she woke up with buttery-gold eyes and blue freckles scattered like a thick coat of midnight stars on her otherwise fair skin. Her first thought was cool and then can I keep them? It didn’t occur to her to be scared until she smelled the fear on her mother.
Of course, she didn’t realize what she was smelling until Heather Lewis was well into the throes of a panic attack.
Her mother kept patting her hair and crying. “Oh baby, baby, it’ll be okay, we’ll be okay, we’ll figure something out,” she kept whispering it, over and over like a mantra. “It’ll be okay, we’ll figure something out.” Heather’s hands were shaking and tears were pouring down her face unacknowledged.
Darcy was terrified.
That was how her grandparents found them: Heather clutching Darcy close to her, shaking so hard she was near to swaying back and forth. Darcy holding her mother just as fiercely, crying just as hard in confusion and fear.
Grandpa took Darcy and grandma took her mom, in two hours they reconvened in the parlor. Darcy learned three things that day:
1. Her father’s name was Graydon Creed.
2. She was a mutant.
3. If either of the first two became well-known, she could be in danger. If both of the first two became known, she could die.
They danced around the ‘death’ thing, but even as a child she could read between the lines. Her father had been making a name for himself over the past few years, making waves in the political sphere with his group, “The Friends of Humanity.” He was making a campaign off of anti-mutant paranoia and if it ever got out that he had a daughter, out of wedlock, who was a mutant...the damage to his image would be catastrophic.
It was nothing but old money snobbery that had kept Graydon out of her life up to that point. Her grandparents had given her mother an ultimatum: keep her boyfriend or keep the child. If she’d chosen the former, they would have quietly arranged for her to have an abortion but allowed her to continue at her elite boarding school in much the same way she had, considering it a ‘warning’ of sorts. Heather chose the latter and allowed her parents to withdraw her from school and squirrel her away to a more remote estate where they could pretend that Darcy was her little sister.
That was the story they told. One of those polite society fictions that stood up as well as a tower of cards, remaining intact only as long as others were kind enough not to blow on it. It helped that Darcy’s grandmother was a society dame, the kind who could make or break reputations with a single word because she knew all the dirt and wouldn’t hesitate to use it. It helped even more that Darcy’s mother was quiet about her indiscretion, didn’t flaunt it or step out of the line her parents had drawn in the sand.
Heather chose her battles carefully and, nine times out of ten, she fought for Darcy rather than herself.
Darcy had been home-schooled by her mother’s choice up till the age of twelve. After the manifestation of her x-gene it became a necessity. She learned to metamorph away her more outlandish outward traits (the blue freckles and yellow eyes she got at twelve; the pointed canines and elongated ears she grew at thirteen; the retractible claws on hands and feet she sprouted at fifteen; the tail which she never told anyone about at seventeen) enough to go to high school.
All the while she watched her father’s support grow. She tracked his progress through papers and tv adverts, through her grandfather’s blustery remarks about his dim prospects to the very real fear behind her mother and grandmother’s eyes. If Graydon Creed won, the mutants, as a whole, would lose.
Her father’s success would be her people’s downfall.
It fucked her up.
Then, days after formally announcing his candidacy for president, Graydon Creed was assassinated at a rally in Ohio.
It fucked her up worse.
In college, Darcy meets her first out-and-proud mutant.
There had been none at the fancy private boarding school she’d attended. Even if there had been, she wouldn’t have been allowed to associate with them. Creed’s death might have made the world safer for mutants and, in a very specific sort of way, Darcy, but there were plenty ready to pick up his banner of hate and intolerance. The very last thing the Lewises wanted was for Darcy to come out of the closet and be hurt.
Darcy knows that that rule comes from a place of caring. She can literally smell it on them. That doesn’t make their active and aggressive denial of a very real part of her hurt any less.
So when she meets the girl called Lorna, it’s a revelation.
Lorna has green hair, and not just on her head: all of her visible body hair is green. She lives on Darcy’s floor and by the end of the first week of freshman year, they’ve swapped assigned roommates so they can live together. Lorna doesn’t say if her x-gene does more than give her awesome hair and Darcy never asks.
Darcy doesn’t tell her the truth, but it’s a near thing. The fear is just too deeply ingrained. She regrets it when the X-Men come for Lorna, halfway through sophomore year. She doesn’t even get a chance to say goodbye properly, stuck in class when Lorna up and leaves.
They still exchange emails though.
“Did you love him, mom?” Darcy asked, once, in that brief, awful period between finding out who her father was and seeing him shot on national tv.
Heather had shrugged, pulling her daughter closer to tuck under her arm. “Part of me still loves him,” she admitted quietly. “He gave me you.”
“But without me, you could still be with him,” she said, soft like a secret.
Her mother tilted her head to the side, thinking very carefully about Darcy’s not-quite-a-question. “I don’t know,” she said finally. “I’d like to think that I would have left him when I saw how deep the hate ran, but...” She smiled a little wistfully, “Your father was - is a very charismatic man. You’ve got a little of that spark. No, really.” Her lips pressed together and a wrinkle formed between her eyes, “I’m sorry I can’t give you a better answer. I don’t know what would have happened without you, but honey?”
“Yeah?”
“I chose you over him. I will always choose you.”
Her mother is a librarian and her father was a politician and Darcy...
Darcy is a perpetual student of life, or at least that’s how she tries to sell it to her grandparents. She manages six years at Culver, ends up with a double major in political science and biology, one minor in social justice. It’s unfortunate for her that Culver requires more diversity in certain fields. She still has six credits of science requirement to kill and two options:
1. Take Rocks for Jocks.
2. Intern with a crazy astrophysicist.
Darcy takes the internship and never looks back.
She learned control out of necessity. It was learn control or be confined to the estate. Her mother did most of the real work, teaching her to meditate, helping her figure out how to associate scents with emotions and physiological tells. But sometimes Darcy just felt so pent-up, so caged.
She learned to escape into her own head.
She fell into music and let it express all the emotions she couldn’t. All the things she wanted to say and ways she wanted to react and had to hold back every moment of every single day. Her body, the one natural to her, had claws and a tail and fangs and elongated pupils and heightened senses -
Sometimes she wondered, didn’t her family realize those manifestations were more than just cosmetic?
Sometimes she wondered, did they care?
Darcy knew, on some level, that her instincts weren’t wrong just different.
It didn’t always help.
Jane is the second person Darcy wants to tell.
Not so much because she epically trusts her on sight or anything, but, well, Jane has a tendency to get a little too caught up in science and forget things like showering or cleaning. It’s a problem. Darcy grew up in a house kept clean by a weekly service. Darcy has always kept her dorm room as clean as possible because her nose demands it.
Living and working with Jane is...an adjustment.
The Thor thing? That’s enough to send Darcy’s entire world out of alignment.
CAST LIST -
Darcy Lewis (Creed)
Heather Lewis
Josephine Lewis
Abernathy Lewis
Graydon Creed
Mystique
Victor Creed
BONUS
Lorna Dane
#amuse writes stuff#darcy lewis#graydon creed#victor creed#mystique#mutant!darcy#darcy is a mutant#darcy is graydon creed's daughter#darcy is the most repressed feral mutant in the history of ever#lorna dane#various ocs (darcy's family)#i didn't get to the part where wolverine meets her and smells mystique and assumes she IS mystique and nearly disembowels her#or the part where sabretooth kidnaps her to teach her how to feral#or the part where mystique shows up for realsies and true fun is had#also could not figure out who to ship her with no lie#also also the part where all of the many kids and adopted kids of her blood relatives find her and decide to befriend her#darcy's wacky extended family (drama)
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Why its okay to change your major during college
I’m a current college sophomore meaning I’m in my second year of schooling. However, credit-wise I’m a junior standing student. In the grand scheme of things that means nothing.
I started my college career as a pre-nursing major. Since I was little, I had hated going to the doctor’s office, and one day during my high school anatomy course I realized that I wanted to do nursing. So, I picked out classes that would help me get ahead for when I went off to college. My first two semesters of school I did pre-requisites.
This past fall semester I had more pre-requisites to complete, but I had the intro nursing course. I was so excited like I was texting my best friend who had the class with me and she was honestly not exhilarated, and I was like “THIS IS GONNA BE SO FREAKING GREAT.” I was wrong. Extremely wrong. On the first day, we went over the syllabus like any other course and talked about how it would work because it was twice a week (Tuesday night lectures, and a Friday discussion section) with the Friday portion being in four separate places and how we would split into the sections.
The second time we have class we watch a movie and in the first 35ish minutes they show someone getting an epidural, then an emergency cesarean. I managed to lose my breakfast. (This is where I noticed I was not enjoying this). For the first exam we had (there were 4 and a final) I bombed it. Like I studied my ass off, read the books (I think we had 7 chapters between 2 books) and had good notes. So, I went and asked for help to understand what I had misunderstood on the exam so when we went forward I wouldn’t do it again. The professor told me “Just read the book”, and I responded with “I read the section 4 times in the book and I still didn’t understand it so that’s why I’m asking for the clarification.” She looks at me over her glasses huffs and goes “Well maybe nursing isn’t for you if you can’t comprehend what the textbook is saying.” (It took everything in my soul and god conscious mind to not fist fight my teacher right here) I “tried” to calm myself before replying “So you’re just not going to help me are you Kathy?” And SHE PUSHES HER GLASSES UP HER NOSE AND SCOWLS AT ME. “Nope.” This happened all before a Tuesday night lecture mind you.
So, after I went to my Friday discussion professor and she does the same thing. I left crying and frustrated because I wasn’t the only student who didn’t understand. Moving forward with the semester I joined various study groups for the class and found they weren’t working for me. I also thought that all the girls in my course *Disclaimer- I attend an all-girls university* were just so much smarter than me. SPOILER: I realized it wasn’t that the girls were smarter than me (some probably are but whatever), it was that I wasn’t interested in the subject matter.
Between thanksgiving and finals, we had the last two exams. The first of the two of these exams my best friend had a medical emergency happen during our exam, and because I made it my mission to make sure she keeps her diabetes in line, I was freaking out (on the inside). After we have exams we have lecture (the class is like 2.5 hours long) so she left because she was so out of it. I stayed for the lecture then went back to my dorm. I called her to see how she was doing and decided that I was making an executive decision and bringing her to the hospital. She had what was called Ketoacidosis which means that the glucose level in her body is too high. She was hooked up with multiple IV lines ad her blood fucking drawn like 15 times in 6 hours. I sat with her for 6 hours; I realized that I had been staring at the ceiling or her vitals monitor, and anytime a nurse or doctor would come in I’d leave the room.
This is exactly when I knew that Nursing was not for me. It felt like waking up after a nightmare when you’re covered in sweat and crying. Except in my case it caused a full-blown anxiety attack (in the hospital) where I ended up passing out in a hallway and waking up to a nurse lifting and putting me on a stretcher. They had a doctor come over and check me out, I just explained what had happened and like they took my blood pressure because I was still breathing hard and they just wanted to help, but at this time it was just more embarrassing than helpful, and I wanted to climb under a rock and die.
It took me two weeks after the hospital incident to fully come to terms with me not wanting to be a nurse anymore. I forced myself to think if I just freaked out because it was best friend in the hospital and me being helpless, or if it was me actually not wanting to be a nurse. As I sat through my classes I noticed that the only ones I didn’t want anything to do with were the Nursing prerequisites. The rest of my classes I was okay with. I had a stats course (which on a technicality was a prerequisite, but I didn’t mind it) and a nutrition course. I started thinking about what I wanted to do if I wasn’t going to be a nurse.
One of my friends said I could do physical therapy, which is actually harder courses than nursing (but I didn’t bring it up, I just looked into it), another said making my psychology minor a major and doubling up and also doing Political Science. Since I was little I had always thought teaching was cool (I went to a K-12 school, I helped in the classrooms often) so I thought about Elementary Education. I decided to switch to Elementary Education.
I went to my Academic Advisor, side note if you make friends with your advisor it makes your life so much more enjoyable. My advisor was one of the people I trusted most on campus. When I went in to ask his opinion, and to see if he thought I was crazy at this point, he brought up 3 main points.
1. I had to do what would make me happy.
2. I could not under any circumstance second guess myself.
3. If I forced myself for the rest of my life, I would either kill myself or resent myself until the day I died.
He also told me that I needed to talk to the education department to see if it was even possible for me to still graduate on time (it is 😊).
So all I’m trying to say is that if you want to change your major, do it. So many people go to college thinking that they know what they are going to be, and then end up changing their minds.
In my case, it was due to a set of teachers, one class, and a handful of events that happened in a span of 16 weeks that changed my mind. Do I wish that I could’ve been the nurse I had wanted to be? Yes. Did I want to force myself to be miserable and cry after every lecture and get drunk* during one lecture with a friend? No.
*do not drink during class, the professors will know. ALSO do not drink if you are underage, as it is illegal and unsafe.
So here’s to finding happiness and less stress.
Until next time guys, gals, and all the pals.
Em xx.
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