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tryingmyves · 3 years

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Girl All the Bad Guys Want

okay i won’t lie, i remembered this song exists and i could not get the idea of a badboy!iida out of my head

this is a bit self indulgent because i was definitely that girl in hs lmaoooo

anyhow hopefully y’all like it too

PAIRING: Iida x Y/N

cw: badboy!iida

✨ tagging the iida army: @coleluuviida + @saturnity + @peachiileaf ✨

You have a reputation at UA, mostly with the male students. It isn’t something you put effort into maintaining or even something you cultivated on purpose, but you’ve gained some notoriety amongst your peers. At first glance, you don’t seem too different from your female classmates. You certainly don’t feel superior or disparate from them, but you’ve also never quite felt like you belonged with them. You don’t excel at being soft and demure, and you refuse to shrink yourself down in order to make others more comfortable in your presence. You spit in the face of all the things typically expected of a lady. And frankly, you’re more than a bit awkward when you hangout with the girls from your class. They always invite you to their sleepovers and shopping trips, and try to engage you in their conversations, but you’re always worried about saying the wrong thing or accidentally offending them. You’re never really able to add anything of value when they talk about the boys in your class - a recurring subject. Mina knows everything about everyone in class; she loves to gossip. It’s like her horns serve as antennae and pick up on all the juiciest secrets. She is always interrogating the other girls about their crushes but you just never really felt that way about anyone. Honestly, you find the conversations about who likes who to be a bit boring. You typically end up hanging out with Bakugo, Kirishima, and the rest of that squad. Boys are just easier to be around. They don’t get offended at your crass comments and your sometimes gruff disposition looks outright friendly next to Bakugo.

Your undeniably attractive appearance, unquestionable skill with your quirk, and nonchalant attitude have landed you in the sights of several of your fellow UA students. You are the embodiment of do no harm, but take no shit and something about you is intoxicating. Mina frequently jokes with you about how the entirety of the Bakusquad is duking it out to see who gets to ask you out first. You roll your eyes at her, convinced she’s imagining things. But in reality you’re just clueless. As cliché as it is, you really are the girl all the bad guys want. Too bad you didn’t want them back.

What you didn’t expect with your tough exterior, competitive nature, and tendency to slack off on class work is that class rep, Tenya Iida, would want you too. God, not even he expected it but he had fallen hard. You frustrate him. You’re just as smart as Yaomomo or Todoroki, but you skate by in class. You don’t outwardly disrespect authority, but you won’t blindly accept orders just because someone says so. He thinks the rap metal music you listen to while training is abrasive and doesn’t understand why all your favorite artists sound like they’re mad at their fathers. He finally gave up on lecturing you on the fact that the fishnets you wear with your uniform are not regulation and he was still wrestling with how he felt about learning you were one of the students caught at a dorm party with alcohol a few weeks ago. More than anything he hates that you’ve so effortlessly got him pining for you and you haven’t even noticed. Iida loves the rules! Order, structure, regulation - these are the things that Iida covets, so why was he craving the taste of your lips on his?

He is tired of silently lusting after you, and decides he’s going to try actively pursuing you instead. Tenya thinks that you like “bad boys” so as foreign as the concept is to him, he concludes he’s going to have to take on that persona. He starts off simply, making a playlist of songs he’s heard you blaring from your dorm. He eases himself into your music, starting with Linkin Park and Korn, before adding Incubus, Machine Head, and even some ICP to the mix. He’s hesitant at first… the music just sounds so hostile and aggressive to him. But soon he finds himself relishing the fierce energy the songs give him. Tenya gets why you train to this sort of music, his workouts becoming more intense than ever. They end in his chest heaving and his hair plastered to his forehead with sweat. His muscular calves throb vigorously after every run and he feels powerful. It gives him a new found confidence that he strategically channels into his interactions with you. For class today, Aizawa simply instructs you all to pair off and spar. You’re about to ask Sero to partner with you when he approaches.

“Y/N. You’re with me.” Tenya doesn’t ask, he’s telling you you’re his partner.

A small sound of surprise leaves your throat at his unexpected forcefulness, but you don’t question it. You just nod, giving a small shrug to Sero before following the class rep to a vacant spot of the training gym.

You look over your challenger, rolling your head on your shoulders a few times to loosen up. “Don’t expect me to go easy on you. You asked for this,” you smirk, bringing your fists up in a defensive stance.

Before you can even blink, Tenya has closed the 10 foot gap between you, sweeping a long leg beneath yours in a circular motion, knocking you off your feet. You land with a thud on your back and the air in your lungs is forced out with a nmph.

“Just try to keep up, Y/N.”

Oh, it’s on. Previously you found Iida’s flustered demeanor around you endearing. But this new, assertive, almost cocky disposition is irresistible. His momentum propels him in a circle while he stays anchored in place on his massive left thigh. As he finishes turning through the motion he reaches forward hoping to pin your arms to the ground, but you’re just getting started. You plant the palms of your hands on either side of your face and kick up from the ground with a boost from your quirk. The added flow of air thrusts your legs up and over your head so you are now standing once more. You are sure that the soles of your shoes connect with Iida’s face during your arch through the air.

“It’s not going to be that easy, specs,” you taunt. Now it’s your turn.

You launch yourself at Tenya, closing the small gap between the pair of you in an instant. He extends a locked arm to block your approach but you simply dip your head, gliding underneath and down the length of his limb until you are just one step behind him. You pivot on your right foot as you swing your left arm across your body. Your open palm lands just between Tenya’s shoulder blades, your natural momentum accompanied by a gale force wind. The impact knocks him off his feet and sends him toppling forward. Tenya’s speed is unmatched and his large frame is covered in tone muscle, but with the addition of the very air around you, your strikes are ferocious. Your air quirk aids in your mobility, but you’ve used it to master hand to hand combat. You dominate in tight quarters, so you just need to keep Tenya close. He’s already returned to his feet, calculating his next move. The moment ‘s hesitation creating an opening for your right shin to collide with his side. Tenya growls through gritted teeth in response to the blow and the feral vibrations send shivers down your spine. Instead of recoiling from your attack Tenya’s hands clamp onto your shoulders like vices. His brows are furrowed in smug determination, and he practically sneers “Recipro Burst!”

You are propelled backwards rapidly, the gym surrounding you flashing by in a blur, the only thing you're able to see clearly is the dark glint in Tenya’s eyes and the zealous grin on his lips. You try to activate your quirk to counter his momentum, but it’s futile, he is pushing you backwards so quickly you can’t manipulate any of the air whizzing past you. Your back is suddenly pinned to the back wall of the gym, Tenya’s large hands holding your slender wrists to the concrete wall. He places a muscular thigh between your legs so his left knee is pressed to the wall as well - he has you completely immobilized. Both of your chests are heaving, your faces no more than three inches from one another. You don’t know what possesses you but you smash your lips to his, desperate to close the miniscule gap between you.

Tenya’s body stiffens in shock for a moment before he opens his mouth, snaking his tongue past your lips. You wrench your hands from his grip, placing one on the back of his neck and tangling the other in the mess of his navy hair. You didn’t expect the class rep to be such an amazing kisser, but when he catches your bottom lip between his teeth you can’t contain the soft moan that escapes you. Tenya swallows your noises and begins to pull away. Your lips hungrily follow after him, but you’re stopped when one of his calloused hands rests on your neck with just enough force to hold you in place.

“Such public displays of desire are unbecoming of future heroes, Y/N. Come to my room this evening and we can finish this privately.” And with that, Tenya separates himself from you completely, already settling into a stance that signals he is ready to continue sparring.

#tenya iida #tenya x reader #tenya x y/n #iida x reader #iida x y/n #iida simps come and get y'all juice #my hero academia #mha #bnha #boku no hero #boku no hero academia #badboy!au #badboy!iida #by ves #mha imagines #bnha imagines #fan fic writing #fan fic blog

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iheartrobots404 · 3 years

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My Robot Boyfriend: Questions of Autonomy and Manufactured Romance in a One Direction Robot Fanfic

If recent history is any indication, the general human public has become increasingly horny for basically anything sentient. From candy corporations tweeting lustfully about anthropomorphic foxes to erotic novels about flying reptiles, the boundaries of acceptable romantic sentiment are expanding at a rapid pace. A conservative may easily interpret this as the nadir of our decadent society, heralding the swift demise of our civilization. But the real story is much more complicated.

Monster novels and cinema have always been metaphors for the latent anxieties of a society. Initially manifesting in racist fears of desegregation and miscegenation in D.W. Griffith’s Birth of a Nation, the theme of white supremacist heroism triumphing over the control of the female body by a monstrous “other” is apparent in such later movies as The Neanderthal Man and Creature from the Black Lagoon.

Guillermo del Toro’s 2017 Best Picture winner The Shape of Water is deeply concerned with the dehumanization and unseen racism in monster movies, choosing to portray the monster and white woman in a genuine romance, while the handsome man that perceives them is the villain.

According to del Toro, The Shape of Water was an attempt to demonstrate that “the racism, classism, sexual mores, everything that was alive in ‘62, is all alive now. It never went away.” Del Toro characterizes the monster as a perceived negative aspect of society or personality that is initially distressing but can become liberating when embraced, explaining, “There are truths about oneself that are really bad and hard to admit. But when you finally have the courage and say them, you liberate yourself. All monsters are a personification of that.”

But what about...

Monsters have embodied a substantial collection of anxieties over the years: the rupture of the religious world by the scientific in Frankenstein, communism and McCarthyism in Invasion of the Body Snatchers, the erasure of the past by modernity in King Kong. Robots, in comparison, typically represent a generalized technophobia, a fear of technology replacing the human, best represented by I, Robot (2004). They can also invoke questions of the nature of autonomy in an industrialized, capitalist society (Charlie Chaplin’s Modern Times), fears of the transgression of the mind/body duality (2018’s Replicas), and imminent warnings of scientific and military hubris (Black Mirror’s Metalhead). So if romance with monsters can be a liberating embrace of the taboo, what function does romance with robots serve?

To answer this question, we could turn to the wide range of novels and films providing nuanced treatments of the complex ideas involved in human-robot relationships. Her (2013), Ex Machina (2014), Autonomous (2017), and He, She, and It (1991) are all beautiful, subtle considerations of robophilia, celebrated in science fiction and general circles. Unfortunately, my library card was revoked after failing to pay my 10-month overdue fee on Taken by the Pterodactyl, so that’s a dead end. I also don’t really want to pay to watch any movies, and the last time I went on 123movies.com I got a virus that pulverized my feeble laptop. Fortunately, the greatest, most boundary-pushing work on human-robot relationships is completely free of charge and within reach to anyone with an Internet connection. No expense is necessary to access this avant-garde treasure trove of communal literature, where robophilic desire meets ingenious analysis of our technology-ridden society.

I am speaking, of course, of the user pokemonouis’s love bot [h.s.] on the popular fanfiction site Wattpad. Before you click away in terror, consider that fanfiction can be a vital representation of culture, especially that of young people negotiating their place in a complex world. As the author Constance Penley says of Star Trek slash fic, fanfiction can be “an experiment in imagining new forms of sexual and racial equality, democracy, and a fully human relation to the world of science and technology.” With this framework in mind, let us dive into a sultry world of robot love.

In the vein of a typical Black Mirror episode, love bot [h.s.] is set in the present, near-identical to today except for one incongruous twist. Our protagonist, Ava, has been sent a mysteriously large package by her cheeky friend Niall Horan, containing an eager-to-please model from Love Bot, Inc., Harry. Though Ava is initially incensed at her friend Niall and is uneasy about Harry’s bizarre synthetic mind and body, she quickly warms up to his loving personality and sexual proficiency. Along the way, Ava must deal with her complicated newfound responsibility and the complexity of her own emotions.

Tragically, like Mozart’s Requiem in D Minor or Coleridge’s “Kubla Khan,” love bot [h.s.] remains unfinished. It was abandoned in 2016, and like One Direction, it doesn’t appear to be releasing any new material any time soon. Nonetheless, love bot [h.s.] is astounding in its complete lack of pretension or self-consciousness, existing as a complete, undiluted fantasy about getting a sex robot based on your favorite band member. However, the cherry on top is the dialogue created between the author and her readers, manifesting as a ludic communal debate about the philosophy involved or implied in the context of the world she has created. What I’m trying to say is that One Direction robot fanfiction is basically the 21st century version of the Athenian plaza or the Parisian salon, where the author’s story, as well as the community comments surrounding it, remain a portal of vital insight into such disparate themes as the commodification of sex and romance, the question of robot’s social standing given their initial utilitarian purpose, and the morality of human/robot pairings.

To enumerate, the foremost concern of love bot [h.s.] is the commodification of romantic love and its implications for how we relate to other human beings. From the moment Ava receives Harry, she is unwilling to engage with what she perceives as a mere corporate commodity, surrounded by packing peanuts, a charging port on its lower back. When Harry boots up, Ava is immediately accosted by the manufactured nature of his existence:

The comments echo Ava’s sentiment. One user states, “I’d be creeped out. Imagine if there was a camera or something.” Another jokes, “in the middle of doing what he does best, Harry whispers in my ear, “please like love bot incorporated’s page on Facebook!” This combination of the romantic with the heavily marketed is not new to the 1D fandom, as the band’s image, promotional events, song lyrics, and music videos all serve to encourage an attachment between fan and musician. However, to assume that the average fan mindlessly consumes the marketed content is to ignore the self-awareness within the 1D fandom. For instance, 1D fan culture often repudiates the perceived manufactured nature of their idols; many fan works bemoan the band members’ “management,” or the behind-the-scenes music industry professionals who prevent the boys from living life to its full potential. Thus, the Harry Styles sex robot becomes a potent metaphor for the fans’ relation to their favorite musicians, a playful way of acknowledging that you’re being pandered to yet still enjoying the show. In keeping with the framework of monsters provided by Guillermo del Toro, to engage romantically with the robot is to embrace the messiness and weirdness of emerging sexuality despite society’s opinion of 1D fans as crazed, lustful, and corporate-brainwashed young women.

Love bot [h.s.] also presents an interesting exploration of robot aesthetics and how they are constructed to appeal to humans. Ava is initially rather put off by the combination of the synthetic and the natural found within Harry’s body:

Despite this, she eventually comes around to Harry’s physical appeal, particularly due to his “cuteness:” Ava’s affection grows after he adorably takes the expression “you’re a dime” literally, uses the phrase “take a sleep” instead of “take a nap,” and is caught using her computer to look up “how to impress a girl.” According to scholar Sabine Payr, robots in popular media tend to either be nearly indistinguishable from humans, in which case they occupy the space of the “uncanny valley,” are threatening, and must be destroyed (as in Blade Runner or Ex Machina), or are presented as non-threatening “sidekicks,” whose cuteness and helpfulness to humanity mark them as peaceful (Wall-E, Star Wars’ C-3P0 or R2D2). Harry is gradually brought out of the former category and into the latter through his cuteness as well as his utility to Ava, such as through cooking her a delicious breakfast. As one commenter succinctly puts it, “It kinda creeps me out that he’s a robot but he’s freaking adorable so whatever.” However, this transformation of Harry has the possible negative consequence of him not being seen as fully equal to humans, as his “adorableness” is contingent upon him occupying a lower social position than Ava. Nevertheless, though most readers seem somewhat put off by Harry’s robotness, many seem just as ready to engage with the “uncanny valley” robot as the “adorable” one. For example, in response to Ava calling Harry "too real, too creepy," one user responds, “Well Send him over to me and call me Goldie locks cause he’s just right.” This sentiment is repeated throughout the first chapter: for every “This is going to turn into some Chucky shit for sure” there appears a “Call me Shia Labeouf cause I’m about to get it on with a transformer.” The readers willing to engage with the “uncanny valley” Harry avoid the problem of inequality inherent to the subjugation of the robot to a “sidekick” role. Thus, in this case, engaging romantically or sexually with the robot may be a potential expansion of the social category that robots may inhabit, a radical rebuke of the idea that robots must be subordinate to humans to be lovable.

Similarly interesting is love bot [h.s.]’s theme of autonomy: can one form a healthy relationship with a sentient being that is bought and customized to love you? Throughout the narrative, Harry refers to Ava as his “owner” or “master,” and Ava frequently treats him like a friend’s dog that she has been left to take care of. Harry gets separation anxiety when she leaves to attend school or work, is constantly compared to a puppy, and is described as a “burden:”

However, the readers were quick to push back on this characterization of Harry. Angry commenters lashed out at Ava, stating, “HES NOT A FOOKING BURDEN” and “HARRY DOESNT DESERVE YO RATTY ASS.” Readers of love bot [h.s.] reject the notion of a love bot as a less than human, asserting their right to be recognized not as a product or sex slave but as a full and realized autonomous being. However, as commenters repeatedly point out in another section of the fic, such a relationship is suspect. Ava is eager to downplay the uniqueness of her relationship with Harry, mostly ignoring his robotness in favor of labeling him as just another human:

Commenters are quick to point out the contradictions within this statement, replying, “except for him bc he is a literal robot who was made to be owned” and “says the girl who literally owns a robot im fed up bye.” Ava may treat her robot boyfriend as an equal, but, as the readers indicate, the nature of their relationship is inherently unequal. After all, the fic mentions that the love bots are, in legal terms, basically slaves:

Harry is completely dependent on Ava, and, tragically, only able to shop at Sears. With the realities of this society, the commenters argue, Ava’s “you are your own person and you belong to yourself” statement is functionally meaningless. Commenters also occasionally bring up other questionable power dynamics within the context of Ava and Harry’s relationship; one states, “Imagine if they got in a fight, she could just power him off;” another asks, “What if she died?” after a sentence highlighting Harry’s extreme dependence on Ava; another mentions, “that sentence is making me remember that he's a robot & can be programed at any time :((.” Harry’s boundaries of mind and body are much easier to manipulate than Ava’s, and this presents a quandary; can a robot partner ever be in full control of their internal psyche if his mind is specifically manufactured to carry out a single purpose, and that mind can be tampered with at will? The rich dialogue created between the author and readers gradually teases out several ethical considerations involved in human-robot relationships, questioning whether any relationship between a human and a robot constructed out of pure function can ever be helpful. In this context, the readers redefine the act of loving the robot as not a simple act of passion, but a commitment to upholding the autonomy of one’s partner.

The playful exchange between the author of love bot [h.s.] and her readers illuminates the moral gray area of human/robot relationships, offering key insights into the nature of commodified romance, social categorization of robots, and unequal partnerships. If/when artificial intelligence advances and potentially becomes sentient, the willingness to have debates about these topics will be essential to the creation of a just society for humans and robots alike. As Guillermo del Toro reminds us, the hierarchies and unquestioned assumptions of today will persist into the future, and a potent way to resist them is through the act of loving the taboo. It would be unwise to dismiss it.

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eldritchsurveys · 3 years

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1062.

Have you ever started reading a book and wondered if you’d read it before? >> IDK where on earth Lane got this survey from but it is long as balls and I’m taking it as a personal challenge at this point lmao. LET’S GOOO I’ve never had this experience, no. I don’t always remember the content of books I’ve read, but I at least remember the experience of reading them, I guess?

What has been bothering you a lot lately? >> Oof. I don’t know how to explain it here so it makes sense to the average reader, so I won’t bother making sense. I want Bruni to be a real, external entity, so badly, but if he’s not then I need to know. I need to know if I just created him, because I needed to, so I can come to terms with that and figure out what to do about it. I’ve also been bothered lately by just... my inability to form connections, to feel the way I’m supposed to feel about other people. Knowing why I’m like this (and knowing that it’s not some inherent flaw of mine but a direct result of not being emotionally taken care of when I should have been) only helps a little. I feel like there’s no way I’ll ever be able to fix this, and my only truly fulfilling relationships will be Inworld, forever. (I guess that’s better than nothing, though! At least Inworld exists.)

What (or who) have you been missing lately? >> ---

Are you trustworthy? >> I mean, I guess. I don’t know what anyone would be trusting me with.

Did your parents teach that white lies were ok? >> No, even a white lie would have gotten me punished.

Have you ever hallucinated? >> Yes.

Do you sleep with your door open or closed? >> Closed, to keep both the cat and noise out.

What flags do you have in your room, if any? >> None. Sparrow has a pretty neat gay flag on her wall and a regular gay flag on her lamp.

What (or who) is the best thing that ever happened to you? >> Hm.

What is the worst decision you ever made? >> *shrug*

Do you miss college? >> I’ve never been.

Have you ever called a teacher “mom”? >> No.

What is your favorite arcade game? >> In the Groove.

Do you feel neglected? >> Not now. But I sure do feel the ramifications of previous forms of neglect.

What school subject(s) are/were your best? >> ---

Are you allergic to grass? >> Nope.

Do you remember to water plants? >> Sometimes. I managed to kill a spider plant, though, so I’m kind of discouraged when it comes to plants. I’ll let that be Sparrow’s thing, I’m apparently unfit.

What season is your birthday in? >> Spring.

Name 3 creative people you know. >> ---

Name 3 YouTubers you aspire to be like. >> ---

What color was your first car? >> ---

What year did you graduate? >> 2004.

When was the last time you saw the person you currently have feelings for? >> ---

Have you ever been scammed? >> Nah.

Are you allergic to pollen? >> No.

What style of wedding dress do you like best? >> Sparrow’s was pretty neat.

Are you over your first love? >> ---

Do you talk on the phone a lot? >> I never talk on the phone.

Would you rather call or text? >> Obviously text.

Do you always answer your phone? >> What do you think?

When was the last time you went to a party? >> I guess January; the get-together after Elle’s wedding was pretty much a party.

What was the last thing you ate? >> Beans and rice.

What’s the last book you checked out from the library? >> I haven’t checked a book out in a while. I heard about a book recently and it wasn’t on Scribd so I decided to check Libby just on a whim (I’m used to the books I want to read never being available as ebooks in this library’s meager collection) and they had it. So I might check it out. I feel kind of anxious about doing it because my reading habits have been so erratic lately and I’m like “but what if I don’t read it fast enough?” which, like, you know, I just... renew it... but no one said anxiety had to be fuckin logical, you know.

Do you have a twitter? If so, what was the last thing you tweeted? >> No.

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? >> ---

What’s the last thing you cooked on the stove? >> Eggs.

What color is the cover of the last notebook you used? >> ---

Who was the last person you know to have a birthday? >> Uh... Sparrow, I think.

Who sent the last e-mail you got? >> YES! Magazine.

What song is currently stuck in your head? >> Just some FFXIV music because I just got done playing about an hour ago.

Do you have a favorite shape? >> No.

What color are the sheets on your bed? >> Light grey.

What time do you usually go to bed? >> Between 10 and 11p.

Do you ever use coloring books? >> I’ve done so, but I haven’t lately.

Are you planning on watching the Olympics? >> No.

Do you pronounce the word “often” with or without a “t” in the middle? Hmm. Now that I’ve said it to myself in a few different contexts, it seems I do both. If it’s a one-word answer, like in response to “how much do you get high?” then “often” has a t in it. If it comes in the middle of a sentence and is not the focus, it does not have one. < Yup.

Have you ever been on a trapeze? >> No.

Do you enjoy popping bubble wrap? >> Sometimes. I saved some from a recent package just in case I get the urge, lol. It’s on my desk right now.

Are there any waterfalls near where you live? >> I don’t think so. The landscape isn’t exactly varied here.

Do you like seafood? >> Yes.

Have you ever had to wear a uniform for anything? >> Parochial school.

If so, what did it look like? >> IDK, man, it was a long time ago.

Do you personally know anyone who is an author? >> No.

Do you own a Polaroid camera? >> No.

Do you enjoy baking? >> No.

What’s your favorite type of flower? >> Sunflowers.

Last time (if ever) you were on an airplane, where were you going? >> I was coming home from Houston.

Do you know anyone who is left-handed? >> Sure.

What is something you think is underrated? >> ---

Around what temperature do you consider it to be too hot outside? >> It’s not so much the temperature as the level of humidity, how sunny it is, what time of year it is, etc. There are multiple factors that go into how I experience temperature and the number on the thermometer is only one facet of that.

In what ways do you expect your life to be different one year from now? >> ---

How often do you travel outside of the state/province you live in? >> Not often. Before it was just because it’s expensive and also Sparrow would have to take off work and stuff, and now it’s because of those reasons and also the pandemic.

What’s a hobby you used to have, but don’t anymore? >> ---

What has been your favorite job you’ve had so far? >> Selling merch for local bands at shows.

What’s your favorite kind of salsa/dip to go with tortilla chips? >> Chunky medium-hot salsa.

Do you wash your car by hand or drive through a car wash? >> ---

Where is the farthest north you’ve traveled to? >> This is probably the farthest north I’ve been.

Farthest south? >> I think New Orleans is farther south than Houston, but I don’t feel like looking it up to confirm (or be proven wrong).

East? >> Long Island?

West? >> Colorado.

How often do you run the dishwasher? >> Every couple of days, when it works. (We’re waiting on Maintenance to come fix it, but of course they’re taking their sweet time.)

Do you wash your face at the sink or in the shower? >> I use micellar water, so I just do it in my room. Otherwise I’d do it in the shower because I hate using the sink for that.

Name a stereotype about your gender that you don’t fit. >> Are there agender stereotypes? I haven’t heard of any.

Name a stereotype about your age that you don’t fit. >> Uh... I don’t have kids? Idk.

Do you have any unusual decorations in your home? >> If so, they’re not unusual to me, so...

Do you have any uncommon kitchen appliances, such as espresso machines, waffle irons, etc? >> We do have a waffle iron (Sparrow got one for her birthday). I’m not sure what other kind of appliances are uncommon. Are rice cookers uncommon? I can’t imagine why they would be, they’re so convenient. Unless you just don’t like rice...

What did your parents major/minor in in college, if they went? >> ---

Has either of their careers influenced what career you chose or want to pursue? >> ---

What is the highest level math class you’ve completed? >> Uh... pre-calculus? I don’t remember, man.

How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike? >> I don’t remember. Somewhere between five and eight, I guess. Sounds right.

How old were you when you learned how to swim? >> ---

How do you react when someone is rude to you? >> It depends on the situation.

Have you ever had a friend who was too clingy? >> No.

What kind of natural disaster is most common where you live? >> Blizzard, I’d imagine.

Why is your least favorite season your least favorite? >> ---

Do you have a Netflix account? >> I do.

Have you ever had an animal get into your attic? >> ---

Where is your favorite place to go on vacation? >> I guess New Orleans.

How long does it take to get there? >> About half a day, including layovers and shit. No direct flights from GRR to MSY.

When was the last time you started a “new chapter” of your life? >> ---

What room in your home do you spend the least amount of time in? >> I don’t really know. I was gonna say Sparrow’s room, and then I was gonna say the kitchen, and then I was gonna say the half-bath... I think the half-bath is probably the most reasonable answer?

What is the last random act of kindness you did? >> ---

Do you do anything to reduce the amount of electricity you use? >> I don’t have to reduce it, I barely use any to begin with.

Are you usually open to trying a new food that you aren’t familiar with? >> Yes.

Do you listen to Panic! At The Disco? >> Yes.

Have you ever had a kinky dream about a celebrity? >> Probably. Not necessarily because I wanted to, sometimes dreams just do weird shit like that.

Is there a song you can’t stop listening to atm? >> No.

Has anyone ever told you that they loved you, and you couldn’t say it back? >> I guess that’s a way to put it.

If your Facebook status doesn’t get any likes/comments, does it bother you? >> ---

Which friend do you confide in most? >> ---

Do you wear a cross? >> There’s a small cross on my left earring. But I don’t wear, like, a religious cross.

What is your opinion on Arby’s? >> I’ve only had it once, and that was on the way back from Colorado that one time, when the Greyhound stopped at Arby’s. I don’t remember what the food was like, though. Not even sure why I remember that we stopped there at all.

When you have your own kitchen, how will it be done? >> I mean, this kitchen is “mine”? I don’t live with parents or anything, so...? But I don’t have a choice in how it looks or anything, I didn’t build it.

What is your favorite doughnut? >> Apple cider doughnuts, always.

Do you have a hot tub? If so, where is it located? >> No.

Did you read the Twilight series, or jump on the bandwagon after the movie? >> I read the first book ages ago, didn’t care for it, forgot about it (until it blew up in popularity, of course).

What is your favorite party game? >> ---

Do you or your parents rake your yard? >> ---

Were you pro-Obama? >> I didn’t have an opinion at the time, I was busy trying to survive.

What is your favorite scent from Bath & Body Works? >> ---

What was the last illegal thing you did? >> I don’t remember. Probably something like jaywalking. Or watching Bill & Ted Face the Music on an illegal streaming site.

Who did you last go to the movies with? >> Sparrow.

What color was the last vehicle you were in? >> Silver.

Do you have any family members in the military right now? >> ---

Is there a ceiling fan in the room you’re in? >> Nope.

When was the last time you wished time would move faster? >> I don’t know.

Are there any owls in your room (as decor, of course)? >> Nope.

Have you ever heard voices? >> Not... in that sense. Like obviously I hear the Inworlders’ voices, but... not quite the same thing, I’m guessing.

Do you believe in angels and demons? >> I have not encountered those kinds of angels and demons. I usually use those words as like... shortcut terms rather than references to the actual Christian concepts or whatever.

Who is the worst neighbor you have ever had? >> ---

Did your Barbies go on dates? >> I don’t recall the specific nature of the social playacting I did with Barbies.

If you’re not straight, who was the first person you came out to? >> I didn’t “come out to” anyone.

Where did you meet your first crush? >> ---

Do you remember the first time your first crush ever said hi to you? >> ---

Do you ever go places with wet hair? >> No.

Who is your favorite little girl? >> ---

What do you want the most in life? >> That’s complicated.

What is a decision you’ve made that changed your entire life? >> I don’t know, man.

Do you ever wonder what kind of person you’d have turned out to be if a certain event never happened to you? >> Absolutely.

When you’re home alone, do you still shower with the bathroom door closed? >> No. I’ve also showered with the door open even when Sparrow was home, I just usually don’t because it’s not necessary (I just use my phone flashlight in that case so it’s not pitch dark and I don’t kill myself in there). But when I’m alone I just leave the door open for the ambient light. Why don’t I use the bathroom light? Because I have Problems and Disorders. Next question.

If you could have anyone’s singing voice, whose would you choose? >> I like my own.

What are your top 3 favorite genres of music? >> ---

Where did you buy your dishes from? >> We generally don’t buy dishes. All of our dishes are from either Sparrow’s sister or the wedding registry.

Do you think Mars will be colonized in your lifetime? >> I doubt it.

What’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought that turned out to be a waste of money? >> ---

What’s something you’ve bought that turned out to be way more useful than you anticipated? >> I don’t know.

Have you ever been on a ship? >> I’ve been on a ferry and a regular boat. Not a ship.

Do you ever take intentional breaks from checking/posting on social media? >> Just like... off days, I guess. Sometimes I need time to do other stuff and it’s easier to do that when I don’t have the internet wide open and ready to distract me.

Who was Van Halen’s better singer - David Lee Roth, or Sammy Hagar? >> I don’t have a preference.

Which fictional character has the most memorable quotes? >> *shrug* ???

What’s a class you did not take in school, but now wish you had? >> ---

Have you ever been to either of your parents’ workplaces? >> ---

What do you think of the ‘Healthy At Every Size’ movement/philosophy? >> I don’t have any thoughts about it because I don’t know what exactly said philosophy entails. The phrase itself doesn’t give me enough information to start forming an opinion around.

Have you ever been bitten so hard that their teeth marks were there after? >> Yeah.

Ever been given a hickey? (Love bite) >> No.

Ever gave one? >> I don’t think so.

Are you more of an outgoing type or shy type? >> ---

Do you think it’s weird if guys wear make-up like eyeliner? >> .... No.........

Are you self conscious? If so what are you self conscious about? >> I’m self-conscious about being Weird(tm), having Issues and Problems Disorders, and having differing opinions about things that lots of people think a certain way about.

Are you flirty at all? >> No.

Are you racist at all? >> I might have perpetuated racist speech and behaviour, sure. I don’t think that means “I am a racist”, I think that means I’ve learned some fucked up shit from other people and hopefully I’ve learned better by now.

Would you ever date a disabled person? (Be honest) >> ...

If you found a baby randomly by itself what would you do? >> Call the authorities, I guess. Like... idk??? That’s such a weird situation to be in.

Would you rather adopt or have your own child? >> ---

What would you class as cheating on someone? >> I don’t have a personal definition for cheating because the concept does not apply to me or how I do relationships.

Do you try to be politically correct? >> No.

What’s your favorite kind of sea critter? >> I’m not sure. There are a lot of cool ones.

Have you ever tasted locally-made honey before? >> Yep! <3

As far as earrings go, would you rather wear hoops or studs? >> Neither, I like the earrings I have.

Do you find P.E. humiliating, or think schools shouldn’t teach it? >> I found it obnoxious and boring and a waste of time, but that doesn’t mean schools shouldn’t teach it. I just had a bad time with it for my own specific reasons.

Do you recycle? >> No.

Are you interested in current world issues? >> Not particularly.

Do you think you are mature, or immature? >> ...

What kind of career are you interested in? >> ---

Do you own a pair of sunglasses? >> I own two pairs. I really want a better pair, like an actual good pair of sunglasses and not just cheapo pairs.

Do you use bobby pins, hair clips, or elastic hair ties? Which? >> No.

How badly do you get acne? (If at all) >> I don’t.

What’s the best way to cope with a breakup? >> ---

If someone dislikes you, what is most likely to be the reason? >> I said something that ticked them off? I don’t smile enough? IDK, dude?

How many text messages do you have in your inbox atm? >> ---

When was the last time you had a difficult decision to make? >> I don’t remember.

In school, what subjects do/did you find the most difficult? >> English.

Do you still speak to the person you had your first kiss with? >> ---

Where did you meet the last person you swapped numbers with? >> ---

Who was the last person to add you as a friend on Facebook? >> One of Elle’s friends that I met at her wedding.

Who was the last person that asked if you were okay? >> I don’t remember the last time someone asked me that.

What does your handwriting look like? >> I don’t know how to describe it.

Do you use any products on your hair, other than shampoo and conditioner? >> I use a tea tree oil on my scalp and that’s about it.

Who were your best friends in primary school? >> ---

Do you still speak to any of them? >> ---

What was the last thing you bought from a vending machine? >> I don’t remember the last time I used a vending machine.

What color hair did your first crush have? >> ---

What type of shoes do you find the most comfortable? >> No shoes.

Are you more masculine or feminine? >> ---

If you could design your own mug, what would you put on it? >> I don’t want to design a mug. I like the ones I already have.

What is the best beach you’ve been to? >> I’ve only been to the NY ones...

What is one thing you physically can’t do? >> Run a marathon.

Have you ever been to a funeral? >> Yes.

Have you ever visited your state’s capitol building? >> No.

Have you ever visited your nation’s capitol building? >> No.

Do/did you have a favorite seat in church? >> ---

What is your favorite park? >> I still really love Central Park. And Prospect Park, too.

Have you ever felt an earthquake? >> A very minor aftershock, once.

Do you chew gum regularly? >> Not anymore, not after Orbit ruined my favourite kind. :(

Where did you go on your first train ride? >> I think that was to North Carolina when I was 17.

Do you know anyone with a dual citizenship? >> No.

What sports teams do you root for, if any? (Extra points for Boston fans.) >> ---

Do you dunk your cookies in milk? >> Nope.

What is something you are confident about? >> ---

Have you ever been physically addicted to a substance? What? >> No.

How do you feel about needles? >> I don’t have any feelings about them, they don’t affect me either way.

What is your favorite accent to listen to? >> ---

What was the reason you last got dressed up? >> Halloween.

Have you ever been the subject of cruel rumors? What were they? >> Maybe at some point, but I don’t remember now.

Do you prefer loose or form-fitting clothing? What about on your preferred gender? >> I prefer looser clothing. Not baggy, per se, just looser.

What do you do when you are really, really mad? >> I don’t know, I haven’t been that mad in so long I have no idea what I’d do.

Would you rather go naked than wear fur? >> Fuck no????

Do you put a line through your 7’s? What about your Z’s? >> Nah.

What is one thing that someone could do to you that is unforgivable? >> *shrug*

Are you able to forgive and forget? >> Mehhhh.

Do you like cold pizza? >> I really do not.

What is your favorite fruit? >> I’m not sure, I like most fruits.

What about your favorite fruit juice, if it differs from solid fruit? >> ---

Do you like broccoli and cheese? >> No! Leave broccoli alone, christ.

What about potatoes and cheese? >> Not really?

Have you written a letter by hand, lately? To whom? >> No.

Toaster or toaster oven? >> We only have a toaster, but I would love a toaster oven.

What are you most known for? >> ---

Do you have any reputations? What are they? >> Er...

Do you wear band shirts? What band was on the last one you wore? >> I do. I’m not sure what the last one I wore was.

Do you own any hats? Describe them. >> I have a plain floppy beanie and I have one that says “I don’t need no body” and it has a dancing skeleton on it, lol.

What about masks, you got any? Describe those. >> Yeah, I have a raven masquerade mask. I forget why.

What was the last thing to leave you speechless? >> I don’t remember.

Do your parents like your friends? If they don’t, why not? >> ---

Have you been called a bad influence? >> I don’t think so.

Describe your favorite pair of socks. >> I don’t have a favourite, per se, but here’s a fun pair I have: they say “eat, drink, and be spooky” or something very similar and have a fun Halloween design on them.

Have you experienced any life-changing news, events, etc, lately? >> No.

Have any self-done piercings? >> Not anymore.

Ever pierced someone else? >> No.

Do you get distracted easily? >> By things like sound and motion.

Is talking to strangers enjoyable for you, or stressful? >> It can really go either way. Sometimes it’s just neutral.

How do you feel about getting new neighbors? >> I don’t care. They’re probably just going to be loud asses too.

How many ceiling fans are in your home? >> Zero.

Do you tweet your life away? >> I don’t tweet at all.

How do you feel about shameless self promoting? >> I don’t care?

When reading words. like. this. do. you always pause after the periods? >> Yeah.

What about screaming when reading something IN ALL CAPS? >> Yes, which is why I hate when people type like that. There’s a popular blogger on this website that makes all their posts in all-caps and I will never fucking understand it. Like, their content is fun sometimes but I can’t really engage with it because I hate the shouty text!

#surveys #survey #random survey #not for reblogging *glare*#i made it through. dear god #(probably because half the questions i didn't even have answers for)

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theloyaltyofthewolves · 4 years

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tag info!

hi lovelies! i’ve gotten quite a few questions abt my tagging system (for those of u who don’t pay attention to that sort of thing/only use mobile, this is my tags page) over the last few days + i thought i’d try to condense all of your questions into a single post to make it nice and convenient. pls feel free to reach out if i missed smth!

1. what are your tags from and what do they mean?

individual tags:

this is not your destruction bang chan

a tag for chan + the bravery + terror that must have accompanied his flight into stray kids. he has poured everything he has into them. they are his one shot, his only shot. his life, his blood, his greatest creation and sacrifice. this tag, which comes from nothing other than my brain, is a kind reminder to him that no matter how dark it gets, stray kids are an act of love and so will never be a mistake.

learn to dance; it is your birthright

a tag for minho. im a terrible person and can’t quite recall where or who i took it from, but i believe it was originally in french. minho came from nothing, built himself on nothing. the strength in his spine comes from suffering and endurance: living through all that life has thrown at you, getting up every single time it has knocked him down. and it has knocked him down over and over and over again. but each time, he gets back up. wipes the blood off his chin. dances. because he is owed this, this expression of love and life and control, one of the most fundamental parts of the human experience. minho dances because he is owed it, because he knows that it his right.

there is no sacrifice

my tag for changbin, from a longer piece by arianna reines. the original quote goes ‘there is no sacrifice. you have got to want to live. you have got to force yourself to want to.’ perhaps a little dark, but i believe it reflects the resolution with which changbin throws himself at life. there is no uncertainty in seo changbin. that’s why he’s stray kids’ anchor, their backbone. he’s uncompromising, devoted, resilient.

gutted and rising

for hyunjin, my very favorite embodiment of the fragility of being human. once again, his tag is from a much longer quote by katie ford: don’t say it’s the beautiful i praise. i praise the human, gutted and rising. quite honestly, it is one of my favorite lines of literature in the entire world for how vulnerable and honest it is in its devotion to the human spirit. and that’s of course what i love so much about hyunjin. he is beautiful yes, but he also breakable and delicate and sensitive and irrational and ridiculous and dramatic and sweet and so unbelievably human. such a gentle soul who has seen some of the very worst that humanity has to offer, who has been beaten down and forced to kneel. who has grown tall enough and strong enough to push himself up off the floor and keep going, scarred and gutted and soft and rising.

all you have is your fire

if uve spent a single second on this blog you will probably know that i have a serious love affair with what a walking contradiction han jisung is. he is so many impossibilities in so little physical form. fierce and shy and angry and brilliant and brave and scared and small and bright. han jisung is on fire all the time. it burns deep within him, burns him from the inside out. you can see it when he enters a room, walks on stage, opens his mouth. the core of him, all that he is, this burning burning burning energy, it flares around him, casts him in gold and red and orange. call it courage, call it fire, call it light, call it whatever you want. it is all that jisung has, just as it is all that small things have.

if there is a light im going to swallow it

this is for seungmin, and it comes from yet another one of my favorite pieces of literature. a poem called ‘blasphemies at the 5th street station’ by s. osborn and if there was ever a poem i would like you to read, it would be this one. seungmin’s particular tag comes from the final verse: ‘if there is a light, then i’m going to swallow it. if there is a god, then i’m going to eat him whole.’ appropriate for someone like seungmin who cannot be kept on his knees and who has always existed in a way that is uniquely his own. no authority, no god, no force of good or evil could bend seungmin to its will because he is simply not to be bound.

i have loved the stars too fondly

oh yongbokie. his tag fits him so well that it always makes me choke up just a little when i use it. it’s from a famous poem by sarah williams, most likely one that you have heard at least in passing. the poem details a message left by an astronomer on his deathbed to his pupil. “though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light. i have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.” which, to be honest, is so incredibly lee yongbok that i’m not sure i could clarify it any further.

as above so below

jeongin’s tag comes from an age-old saying, one of those idioms that is so ancient, its originator has been long-forgotten. it is often attributed to religious or spiritual meanings, but i like it just find secular. at its essence, the quip describes the integral connection between everything small and big. the earth and the sun, the moon and the tides, the leaf and the cell wall. the way in which things that happen happen to all, no matter how big or small or young or old. befitting of the maknae, i think. an old quote for an old soul trapped in a young kid’s body.

relationship tags:

and now the loyalty of the wolves

my very general ot8 tag, for moments when i see that little bit of more that filters through stray kids and their unrepentant love for one another. yet another reference to their growth: looking at where they are versus where they once were. stray dogs, nothing more than street hounds, scrappy and feral and dismissed. they did not belong, nor have they ever belonged. but they have grown. now, when they stand on stage, they fill it out. they draw attention and turn heads. they’re still outsiders, still outcasts, still unpolished and raw and untamed. but where once were mutts are now wolves. and now the wolves. and now the loyalty of the wolves.

i will carry you home in my teeth

i’ve mentioned this previously, but this is my tag specifically for chan and his boys. it comes from a mountain goats’ song. it embodies chan’s sacrifice and devotion to his kids, his family, his lifeblood. come hell or high water, chan’s going to get them to that finish line.

do i look moderate to you?

this tag is from moderation, a trully excellent song by florence and the machine. ‘want me to love you in moderation, do i look moderate to you?’ what better pairing to fit this lyric than hyunjin and jisung? their love was born in violence and it has always been too much. the two of them have always been too much. too much anger, too much blood, too many teeth. the imprints of their fingers are pressed into each other’s chests. they have ripped each other apart, sewn each other back together. do i look moderate to you? do i look like someone who could be with you and not make you feel everything all at once?

our fate cannot be taken from us

going back to the ancients, this is a quote from dante. ‘do not be afraid. our fate cannot be taken from us; it is a gift.’ something about it has always screamed seungbin to me, something about the impossibility of their relationship. a friendship, a love, a brotherhood that should not exist and yet it does anyway, because they are too goddamn stubborn to let any force, supernatural or otherwise, make their choices for them.

2. where do ur tags come from?

the very short answer to this question is: everywhere! movies, lyrics, poetry, tumblr posts. i have a pretty long and pretty comprehensive list of tiny pieces of writing that have stayed with me over the years. i look to it often for hope or writing advice or tattoo ideas.

3. can we see it?

nope. a, it’s too long to conveniently post on tumblr. b, it’s organized categorically in a way that works for my brain, but is unlikely to work for others. c, a lot of it is personal and Not For All Eyes. however, if you do want quotes or inspiration, you are always welcome to ask. give me an idea of what you’re looking for, a mood or an experience, a moment or an emotion, and i’ll do my best. (i also have a secret writing inspiration blog that, were there to be enough interest, i may make publicly available)

4. okay then, can we have at least a few recommendations for songs or other works that have inspired you?

it depends on what you’re looking for. what kind of feelings do you want to amass listening or reading to something? the end of the world? the free-fall of first love? bitter heartbreak? the insignificance of human kind? tell me what you want + i will do my best to get back to you.

#i hope this answers your questions #love how much y'all r interested in this #i am obsessed with the novel tag + will use it unapologetically until i die #kisses from belle #anons #replies

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firstagent · 4 years

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Fanfic Authors Tag Game

I was tagged by @ahiddenpath and I’m actually going to do this! If nothing else to take inventory.

AO3 name(s): I’m arpulver there and FFN. Fandoms: Been Digimon for the longest time, although I did have an original webnovel for a time, a couple crossover fics, and in a previous century had a website archiving and reviewing Simpsons fanfic. Number of fics: 9, not counting song parodies or script-format stuff I did back in the day.

1. Fic I spent the most time on:

Taken as an entire trilogy, The Connection took roughly five years. As individual stories, it’s a tossup between Level 3: Experiments and Neverworld at about 2.5 years. Nexusworld will surely pass those, but it’s going to be the longest.

2. Fic I spent the least time on:

Imaginary Girlfriend, written for the Dandan zine, took a couple weeks, not counting editing.

3. Longest fic:

Currently Neverworld at about 256,000 words!

4. Shortest fic:

The Dandan zine had a 2,500 word limit. The posted version of Imaginary Girlfriend is only a teeny bit longer.

5. Most hits:

According to the FFN legacy stats, Neverworld edges out Level 1: Worlds and Odaiba Memorial Day, although it’s possible those two predate FFN’s hit tracking. Not saying I’m old, but my FFN account number is only four digits!

6. Most kudos:

Resumption, the uncomfortably prescient tale of the 02 kids post-tri. (written before its halfway point, is currently beating Neverworld 125-104!

7. Most comment threads:

Including FFN, Odaiba Memorial Day, my first proper Digimon fic, has 252 reviews.

8. Favorite fic I wrote:

For as much fame and attention I’ve gotten for my older stuff, it’s really a tossup between Neverworld and Nexusworld.

Neverworld was planned out before tri. was announced and while it gave me pause about writing the Adventure kids six years older at the same time canon was about to unveil something showing them in the same time frame, the idea of aging the characters of all (then) six seasons and throwing them into their very own Digital World playground to have interpersonal drama with each other was too enticing to pass up. And for as many curveballs as tri. threw at me, everything lined up neatly to incorporate its ideas and character interpretations into my story along with the way I had been portraying them. We ended up with the same Taichi and Mimi even! And for as easy as it is for long fics to go off the rails and become unmanageable, I’m proudest of the fact that it wrapped up every significant plotline and ended in a sensible place with a powerful climax.

Nexusworld, its sequel, came about because as much as I adored tri. and Appmon, they and Hunters left a lot of unfinished baggage that I wanted to address. The world gave me a chance to take Maki and Daigo, well before any of their misdeeds in tri., and put them next to two characters going through very similar problems: Haru and his desperate quest to bring back a lost loved one, and Tagiru, trying to recapture some of the glory from a victory that carried a big asterisk next to it. They also have to deal directly with Meiko, still reeling from her loss, the international kids and their organization post-tri., and a host of other new arrivals and old favorites. The emphasis on less popular seasons has made it harder to find an audience, but I’m finding the writing more direct and more meaningful than what I’ve put out before.

9. Fic you want to re-write:

Many years ago I actually did rewrite Level 1! The plan was to edit the trilogy, clean up some of the wonkier bits, fix some timeline issues, and put out an edition I’m prouder of, but I never got around to working on Level 2 or Level 3. While tri. thematically lines up nicely with The Connection trilogy, both it and Kizuna have poked enough holes in my timeline that such an edit doesn’t feel necessary anymore.

Despite its popularity, I’m not at all happy with the writing or character work in Odaiba Memorial Day, but I loved the format and I wonder if it might be neat to try it again using the canon time period between Kizuna and the epilogue (OMD gives everyone a different future because, shockingly, it was planned out before the Zero Two epilogue existed!).

10. Share bit of a WIP or a story idea you’re planning on:

All of my Digimon ideas are worming their way into Nexusworld right now and I’m not sure if I’m doing another Digimon project once it’s done. So you’re getting a future Nexusworld scene with Meiko and Mimi!

[Meiko] dropped her bag next to the extended and unmade futon. After some hesitation, she removed her shoes and stretched out on the bed. At some point she’d have to go back out there and figure out what to say to Eri. With Mimi still taking care of her job, she could afford a few minutes to ponder, and even dozing off didn’t sound terrible. Only a minute of staring at the ceiling passed before the bed rustled. Mimi sprawled out next to her, narrow eyes probing back. “What’s wrong? Come on, no bottling it.” With a huff, she added, “What did Tai do? Do I need to make Yolei beat him up?” Meiko let a chuckle escape. As well as she thought she had been doing before, having Mimi back as a regular part of her life was pure delight. “It isn’t Tai. He was great. Actually it’s, um… Eri.” “Eri?!” Mimi’s eyes flared. “What did Eri do?! I don’t think Yolei could beat her up.”

#digimon #digimon fanfiction #fanfiction

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mossyrossaliceinterviews · 4 years

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Thao Nguyen Doesn’t Stay Down

Oct 8, 2020

By Mossy Ross

Photo Credit: Shane McCauley

When I first listened to the title track off Thao & the Get Down Stay Down’s fifth album, Temple, I immediately hit repeat. After I finished listening to it the second time, I hit repeat again. And then again. And then again. I had a teenage urge to learn all the lyrics, so I could sing along at the top of my voice while cruising down the road. The song describes the pain of losing a home to war, an experience many of us haven’t lived through in America, and yet I still felt a deep personal connection with the song’s powerful message. Perhaps because this country is currently facing such extreme civil unrest, so the thought of experiencing war firsthand is increasingly becoming more real. But the song also touches on the turmoil we can sometimes feel in our own family lives as well. Thao Nguyen seems to be a master at crafting albums that exquisitely make complicated and painful matters a bit easier to bear.

Thao recently won a Sunny Award by CBS Sunday Morning (my most favorite of all morning shows) for the music video to her song “Phenom.” Not only is the video wildly creative and entertaining, it conveys an intergenerational rage that’s finally being collectively realized. It’s the rage of someone who has discovered it’s okay to feel sick of constantly being at the bottom of the ladder, and the message should strike fear in the hearts of corrupt politicians everywhere.

As if a timeless and timely new album and an award winning music video weren’t enough, I was triply astounded after watching the documentary Nobody Dies (available to stream Sat., Oct. 10), which follows Thao on a journey with her mom to Vietnam. The trip was Thao’s first visit to Vietnam, and her mom’s first time back since fleeing the country in 1973. It was a chance for Thao to see her mother in an environment where she wasn’t defined by being a refugee, as she often is in America. In both the documentary and the album, Thao paints a picture we don’t often see in American popular culture: the perspective of a child whose parents have lived through and escaped war.

Mossy: I watched your documentary, and it was such a beautiful tribute to your mom. Is there anything about your mother’s life and experiences that really stand out for you, that you think Americans could learn from?

TN: When I wrote Temple, it was because I wanted to offer a different narrative and rendering of someone who experienced war, and the idea of what a refugee is. And obviously in recent years, maybe throughout American history, how refugees have been reduced and the narrative that has been relayed. I think it’s really important to remember that there’s a distinction between an immigrant and a refugee. And also that someone is not just defined by this war that happened to them and their country. I think that’s why Temple was so important for me. I really wanted to capture my mom’s life before, after, and during; and just help enrich that community. I was raised in Virginia, and growing up, it was so stark the way people treated (refugees). I think that parents that are refugees or immigrants witness a lot of incredibly unfortunate encounters, where their dignity is dismissed. You watch your parents be dehumanized in either casual ways, or really serious ways. So this was one of my efforts to address and make peace with that.

Mossy: When I was watching your documentary I found myself smiling. And then I got to the story about your dad and I just started bawling. What parallels do you see between your father and the patriarchy at large?

TN: That’s an interesting question. My record before this one was about my dad. It’s called A Man Alive, and it’s just about our nonexistent relationship and all the bullshit. But what I started to understand when I was making that record, was just a facet of what it is to be emasculated in American society. And what that means for the families of the men who are emasculated. And I think that you see that a lot, especially in immigrant and refugee homes. And others, I mean, I’m only speaking from my experience. But what does a man do to assert power when he feels as though he’s denied power in society? I think it becomes a really personal and intimate, familial problem. And you know, it helps me understand his experience and what unresolved trauma that basically debilitates him, and renders him an irresponsible, reckless person. Patriarchy in general…I do think so much of it is people not knowing how to grapple with the expectations of masculinity. I could go on. (Laughs) I’ll just say it’s so detrimental in every direction, because if you’re not masculine enough, you will pay and then someone else will pay. And if you feel as though you’re not respected enough, then the ways that men feel pressured to illicit that respect in our society is so deadly.

Mossy: You said in the documentary that when you went back to Vietnam, it helped you understand your dad’s temperament. That you understood it…but you didn’t. It’s like saying, “I do understand where you’re coming from and I empathize, but I don’t accept how you’re treating me because of it.” Which I feel is kind of where true healing from trauma can begin. How else do you deal with trauma?

TN: Well there have been different waves of awareness and lack of awareness of what I needed to be doing. I mean, I’ve done the typical things like drinking. (Laughs) I think touring helped. I’ve spent the majority of my adult life on tour, and it’s a refuge. But it also allows you to not deal with anything for a really long time. You could go your whole life without dealing with things. Of course, songwriting and making music. And really wanting to go there lyrically by being more specific with lyrics. Okay, and then therapy. But as far as music is concerned, I think it’s been really helpful to have these songs and talk about them, even under the auspice of promotion. But it’s also just connecting with people and talking about the songs. These levels of vulnerability make for a lot more humane experience. When we play live shows , if people get a chance, they’ll come up and tell me what a song has meant. And it really is so heartening and gratifying, and part of the healing.

Mossy: So you’re saying drinking didn’t work?!

TN: (Laughs) I still do it, so I’m not saying it doesn’t. Just don’t go crazy!

Photo Credit: Shane McCauley

Mossy: You have such a wonderful vocabulary, so I’m guessing you like to read. Who are you favorite authors?

TN: Thanks for saying that. Writing and reading favorite authors are how I prepare the albums and the songs. And when I’m writing songs, I never listen to music, and I only read. But I love, oh man, I grew up reading Toni Morrison and her way with language and the vivid pictures she paints and the way she renders people. Grace Paley is another writer who’s style I love. Marilynne Robinson. George Saunders. I typically am drawn to contemporary literature. And now there’s a lot of reading to be done to learn about how America has become what it is. And to that end, Octavia Butler and James Baldwin really influenced the writing of this record.

Mossy: So you’re like Kurt Cobain over here, writing songs inspired by literature.

TN: (Laughs) I wish I had a cool sweater.

Mossy: Ah, he had the best sweaters.

TN: He had the best sweaters.

Mossy: I saw on your Instagram that you support women prisoners and Critical Resistance. Why are you specifically interested in these causes?

TN: With the California Coalition of Women Prisoners, I’ve been involved with them since 2013. Originally it was because a housemate of mine was an amazing organizer, and has been with them for years. And I was home from tour for awhile and he asked me to join this advocacy group, where we went in to prisons and visited, and we were part of a legal advocacy team. So the album, We the Common is entirely about and in tribute to these people who live inside, and this organization.

Mossy: Do you need to have a law degree to do that? I wanna do that!

TN: (Laughs) You totally can! No you don’t have to have a law degree. So the people like my friend…they don’t officially have a law degree. They just know so much about the system, because they’re constantly trying to help people figure out their parole, and how to get their face back in front of a judge. So we went in conjunction with a lawyer. We were just a team that was basically working with a pro-bono lawyer.

Mossy: You mentioned connection and live performance in your documentary. How do you think the musical performance landscape is going to change since the pandemic?

TN: I don’t know what’s going to happen to the venues as they exist now. I don’t know what kind of modifications or concessions they’ll have to make. So I do think that there will be more unconventional and nontraditional venues that come up by the time we’re ready for crowds to gather. And I think there will be more multi-use spaces and art institutions and contemporary art museums. More of those kind of hybrid events. I don’t know what’s going to happen in the rock clubs. It’s so sad. But I do think that we were barreling towards a reckoning. And I liken the music industry to the restaurant industry in a lot of ways…how thin the margin is for survival. And I think people will play smaller shows, because they can happen more quickly. And I think there’s going to be a lot more direct to fan engagement. And those who have a preexisting fan base will lean more into those fans, and be less concerned with expanding.

Mossy: It’s almost like what’s happening in the music industry is symbolic of what needs to happen everywhere. More localizing and community building.

TN: Totally. And I think Bandcamp is going to take an even stronger role as leaders of a more ethical model. I think what’s happening right now with streaming services is, ah, (laughs) unbearable.

Keep up with Thao’s music and the organizations she supports on Instagram at @thaogetstaydown Stream the documentary Nobody Dies this Saturday at https://www.youtube.com/user/thaomusic

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fresh-outta-jams · 5 years

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Plastic Heart - Part 1

Namjoon x Reader Author: Mo Summary: When you get the highly-anticipated BTS dolls for Christmas, your life takes a turn in a way you never could have expected. Note: We’re finally getting to the actual story. I’m excited for this one omg. I haven’t written anything ahead of time in so long, not even SSD. I hope you like it! And please let me know what you think! I’m kind of going in blind lmao. Warnings: None? It’s not going to be creepy, I promise. Word Count: 1.2k

Prologue, 1, 2, 3, 4

“(Y/N), do you have any popcorn?”

“Yeah, it’s in the cupboard next to the--”

“Found it!” It was a nice night. Since all of your friends were back at school after break, you’d decided to have a BTS sleepover, as you often did. This meant popcorn, episodes of Run, and as many BTS music videos as you could watch in one sitting. Of course, when you’d told your friends about the gift your aunt got you for Christmas, they’d wanted to see them too.

“Wow, like, I know Mattel must have tried, but...Tae’s hair…” Luna trailed off, gently combing through said doll’s hair with her fingers.

“I know, I was thinking about trying to fix it, but I was afraid I’d just make it worse.”

“Nothing is worse than whatever that Nickelback abomination is.” Ella chuckled sympathetically. “I feel so bad for Tae. They did him so dirty.”

“Who are we kidding, the only one they did RIGHT is Namjoon.” You held up the little plastic version of your bias.

“Wow, how lucky for you, your BIAS is the only one that looks anything like the real deal.” Melody rolled her eyes, Jin in her hands as she looked him over. “You’ll never know the Jin Stan pain…”

“Or the Yoongi Stan pain!” Luna called on her way back from the kitchen, a bowl of popcorn tucked under her arm.

“Right, that either.” Melody agreed.

“Listen, is it my fault my man is always looking like a snack even in doll form? No. Moving on.” You scrolled through YouTube on your TV. “What are we watching first, ladies?”

“I don’t know, just put on a playlist.”

“Okay.” You found one that had all of their music videos in it, right from the beginning, which meant that the first one was No More Dream. Oh, memories…

“LOOK AT THEIR LITTLE FACES HOLY SHIT!” Ella squealed, kicking her legs. “Little baby Jimin!!!”

“Oh my god, the mask...Hobi, I’m so sorry.”

“YOU’RE so sorry?? Look at Joon’s hair oh my God.” You cringed, laughing so hard you nearly dropped Namjoon. You set the doll on the table before you could do any further damage. There, he was safe from your clumsy hands. “Oh sweetheart, what did they do to you?”

“Yoongi literally has not aged a day.” Luna chuckled. “But holy shit, look at those chains. What a badass.”

“God, they’ve come so far…” You shook your head. How was it that these bad-boy underdogs from the company who was beyond broke risen to where they stood today with sold-out world tours and dolls and best-selling albums, not to mention millions of dollars? It seemed impossible. And yet, Bangtan always seemed to be defying expectations, learning and growing and changing. That was part of why you loved them so much.

The other reason was just how much they’d helped you love yourself.

“OH MY GOD SHIELD YOUR EYES FROM THEIR BABY ABS.” You’d moved on from No More Dream to We Are Bulletproof Pt2, and you had to admit you’d forgotten about that one part of the video. And then before you knew it, Joon was front and center, mohawk, sunglasses, chains and all.

Even back then, when you’d been stanning freshman year of high school, you’d been a Joon stan, loyal to the very end. That wasn’t to say you didn’t love the other boys; you did. You loved them all a ton. But Joonie held a special piece of your heart. He’d helped you through a lot over the years, even if he’d never know you existed, he meant a lot to you and he always would.

The four of you watched as the budget of the videos increased, the songs shifted in style and meaning, a metamorphosis of kinds unfolding before your very eyes as seven scrappy boys from Seoul turned into seven world-renowned artists. It was enough to make you emotional to say the very least.

“Wow, they really did That, huh?” You asked quietly. The other girls were in awe too, watching and smiling and remembering when you’d all been in high school and had banded together over your love for the obscure group. You’d gotten lucky to find each other then, and were even luckier when you’d all chosen the same university, which had a club dedicated to not only BTS, but all of K-Pop.

“Yeah. They really did.” Luna nodded. “They changed the world.”

***

Namjoon figured the last girl had fallen asleep around the time they’d watched the third or fourth interview in a new playlist you’d started. You were passed out on the couch, slow breaths entering and leaving you. He watched you for a few seconds, smiling softly to himself. He tried not to let it go to his head, he really did...but you’d said he was your favorite and he couldn’t stop replaying the moment over and over.

Technically, he reminded himself, the human Kim Namjoon that was actually a real person was your favorite. He was a doll. He was made of plastic. He was not RM no matter how much he looked like him. And yet, he was still warm and bubbly inside.

Namjoon wasn’t sure what to call this emotion. He’d never felt it before. He’d never felt a lot of things, he supposed, but since moving in with you, he’d felt all kinds of new feelings. It was odd, but he was pretty sure he liked it.

“Joon.” Yoongi whispered from his spot a little further down the table. Though they were both pretty sure all of the fangirls were fast asleep, moving and exposing themselves was not a risk they were willing to take. “You okay?”

“I’m fine.” He whispered back, smiling softly to himself. “I’m...I’m actually great.”

“You look like you’re thinking about something.”

“Yeah. I don’t know. Being here, it’s just...different than I thought it would be, you know? But like not in a bad way or anything. I just...I feel weird all the time but in a really good way, if that makes any sense.”

“It doesn’t, but I understand.” Yoongi nodded to himself. He was sure he hadn’t been feeling what Namjoon had as strongly as the dimpled doll, but he had indeed been feeling...things that he didn’t know how to explain. This had been a learning experience for all of them, he was sure, and he knew that they would only learn more about themselves and each other the longer they stayed in (Y/N)’s care. “She’s different, isn’t she? She’s...she’s our girl, after all.”

“She’s our girl.” Namjoon agreed, a sentiment he was sure all seven of them shared. The bond between a toy and their child was unlike anything else. He’d always known it would be that way, and yet, he could have never predicted just how deep that connection would run. As he laid on that coffee table, there was one thing Namjoon was absolutely sure of: he wouldn’t trade you for anyone in the world.

Tagged: @iie-wakarimasen, @lilgaga98, @demonic-meatball, @backtonormalthings, @honig-bienchen, @kbowen9, @coolcat494, @ffantasylandd, @feed-my-geek-soul, @ayoo-bangtan, @xxqueenwxtchxx

#armyofwriters #kpopwonderlandtag #btsprotectnet #plastic heart #namjoon x reader #namjoon imagine #namjoon fluff #namjoon #rm #rm x reader #rm imagine #rm fluff #bts imagine #toy story au

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korora12 · 5 years

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Tagged by @corisanna

1. What is your favorite relationship type to write/read? Romantic, platonic, familial, and any subtypes.

I like romantic relationships that don’t rely solely or primarily on physical attraction, but instead on a deep similarity between the two characters. I like when two people meet eyes and realize that “You understand me. You get me better than anyone else I’ve ever met, and I feel less lonely knowing that someone else sees the world the same way I do.”

2. How much or what kind of research do you do for your fiction? If you don’t write, has a fic ever made you curious enough to research something?

Only as much as is necessary. I usually use research as a springboard for inspiration when I hit a block, letting myself wander the fields of Wikipedia until I stumble upon something that knocks the block loose.

Of course, sometimes I research stuff just for fun, with no relation to my writing whatsoever, until some random point down the line where it suddenly does and I’m super happy I already know [Random Fact #237].

3. What was the first work of fiction you remember becoming completely engrossed in?

Hmm. Probably Animorphs. I remember doing everything I could to hunt down the numerous books in the series (back in the ancient, pre-Amazon Prime days). I’d prowl the various school and public libraries near me, ask for specific books in the series for Christmas and birthdays, and even buy the occasional book at the yearly Scholastic Book Fairs, using what little money I got for an allowance.

I made it most of the way through the series, but then there was one book, near the end, that I couldn’t find, no matter how hard I looked. And it was an important, plot-changing, book that I had to read before continuing. Which meant I never actually finished the series.

Of course, nowadays you can find them all online as pdfs. Maybe I should revisit the series sometime and finally finish it. I already know how it ends, but I still feel like those last few books deserve to be read.

4. What work(s) had a lasting influence on you or your writing style?

Going back to Animorphs again. There is a straight-line connection between me reading that series as a child, through my elementary school friends Brooke, who was obsessed with dogs, and Caitlin, who was even more obsessed with dolphins (I used to find pictures of dolphins in magazines and cut them out just to give to her), through my Grandma’s love of science, all the way to my decision to study Zoology in college. If I had never read those books, I wouldn’t have developed the passion for animals and animal behavior that has shaped my life for over two decades.

Also, stylistically speaking, I really respect that series for how it treated its readers. Its target audience was grade schoolers, and yet it never shied away from showing the realities of violence and war. I don’t know that I’ll ever write children’s literature, but I’ll always have this series to remind me of what kids are capable of understanding and handling.

5. What kind of sound environment do you prefer for writing/reading? Silent, white noise, music with/without words, sitting in a public place with the ambient noise of humanity, etc.

Depends on how well my brain is cooperating. Pure silence is ideal, but more often than not there’s some manner of song stuck on repeat in the background of my mind, and the only way to drown it out is with non-lyrical music of some sort. Usually I try to pick songs that match the mood of whatever scene I’m trying to write.

6. Are you or do you like authors who are teases, in story or out?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I’m a big fan of the Death of the Author trope, so I tend not to get too worked up by whatever the author may be saying and just let the story speak for itself.

My first instinct is to say that an author shouldn’t worry too much about what their fans think and should write the story they want to write, and it will find readers that appreciate it. However, I recognize that the nature of serial online writing, such as fanfiction, changes the game a bit. Such authors have a much more immediate, direct connection with their readers than authors who release one or two physical books every year or so. Some authors take that to an extreme, turning stories almost into a dialogue with their readers, each new chapter in some way defined by how people reacted to the previous one. And that doesn’t even touch on Quests, a type of story on forums sites such as Spacebattles and Sufficient Velocity that require player input on a regular basis to continue. In these types of situations, I can hardly blame an author for playing with their readers heads a bit. The reactions they have can be a form of entertainment all their own.

7. Have you ever experienced a “the characters write themselves” or “character rebellion” mental state?

Not yet. For the time being, I remain in complete control of my universes, but I recognize the hubris of assuming this to be a permanent state.

8. Do you have a favorite franchise crossover? Like Bleach/Harry Potter, Madoka Magica/Card Captor Sakura, etc.

I don’t know if I have a particular favorite. I was really fond of Secret Trio for a while, which is Danny Phantom, American Dragon Jake Long, and Randy Cunningham 9th Grade Ninja. I’m still very fond of the Disney/Square Enix megacrossover that is Kingdom Hearts, despite being very disappointed in the most recent game in the series. Then there’s Kino’s Journey/Anything, mostly because I love Kino’s Journey, and I love seeing her response/reaction to various other worlds.

Also, Stargate/Anything. The only reason I ever started watching the show was because I’d read several different fics, all in different fandoms (Avatar, Yu-Gi-Oh, Star Wars, Naruto), and all of which crossed over with Stargate. Despite the similarities, both being sci-fi stories set around the turn of the millennium involving mind-controlling aliens, I’ve yet to see a good Stargate/Animorphs crossover. It’d be pretty easy to do, too. There’s a point in the Animorphs series where they decide to bring knowledge of their guerrilla war to the attention of the US government. If they’re already in the Stargate universe, I’m sure the president will quickly pass the problem along to the experts, and suddenly you’ve got the perfect setup of adults who think they know how to handle the problem, are mostly right, and don’t want kids fighting in a war, vs child soldiers who have no intention of giving up the fight so near its end, even if the adults are more competent than they expected.

I’m gonna have to write it myself, one of these days, if no one else gets around to doing it.

9. Do you remember anything about the first fanfic you ever read?

Two Halves by DameWren. My first fandom was Naruto, and my first fanfic was a NaruHina fic that both introduced me to the concept of fandom, and also sold the ship for me in a way that I’ve never shaken. I remember very little beyond that, except that it managed to correctly predict that Naruto would go on a training trip, despite being written before such an event happened in canon.

10. Is there a work of fiction that you are annoyed doesn’t have much if any fic? Like Bizenghast.

Kino’s Journey, Cowboy Bebop, Double Arts (just never got enough attention in general)

11. What fictional character do you strongly identify with?

Weiss Schnee, from RWBY. While I’ve never been accused of being rich, I am a middle child with a much older sister that cut ties with the family when I was young and a younger brother that I never got along with while growing up. My parents were also abusive, my father physically and both of them emotionally, and they taught me a number of unhealthy ideas about race, amongst other things, that I’ve had to put serious effort into unlearning. And I have, since becoming an adult, traveled long distances across the world, partially for my own benefit, and partially to distance myself physically from a family I’ve never felt particularly close to, resulting in a drastic personality shift that took a couple years to complete, but ultimately left me a very different, and much better, person.

So, yeah, Weiss is basically my favorite RWBY character, and one I really need to write more often, all things considered.

That was fun! I’ve never been tagged in anything like this before. My turn for questions!

1. What is your the most recent fandom you’ve gotten involved in? Have you made any content for it?

2. Do you have a favorite AU/plotline that you love regardless of fandom (ie. Peggy Sue, Coffee Shop AU, Space AU, Self-Insert)? What about it do you like?

3. If you write, how do you go about deciding a character’s sexuality? If not, do you ever have any sexuality headcanons for characters?

4. What’s the longest fanfic that you’ve ever read, beginning to end?

5. How often do you make something you’re proud of? Doesn’t have to be writing, just has to be something that wouldn’t exist if you hadn’t made it yourself.

6. What are your opinions on OCs in fanfiction?

7. What is your favorite storytelling medium (ie. television, written word, spoken word, video games, song, etc.)?

8. What was the last song you had stuck in your head, and what was it about?

9. Do you prefer reading/writing stories set in fictional worlds, or stories set in the real world/real world analogous (ie. Supernatural or Marvel Comics)?

10. If you could bring one fictional character into the real world, who would it be and why?

11. Pick your favorite of the questions I was asked to answer for yourself.

I just realized that I don’t know how many of my followers are writers. I guess @hunkygoddess @tmifangirl21 @queendarktigress @ladyvallhalla @i-mushi @xekstrin @shinobicyrus and anyone else who sees this and might be interested. No pressure, it’s just for fun!

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intoxicatingimmediacy · 5 years

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Big Ups: Clipping Pick Their Bandcamp Favorites

“Right from the beginning, we always wanted to make a horror-themed record,” says Jonathan Snipes, a producer in the Los Angeles-based progressive noise-rap trio Clipping, alongside MC Daveed Diggs and fellow beatsmith Bill Hutson. The group’s third project for Sub Pop, There Existed an Addiction to Blood, updates the cult horrorcore hip-hop trend of the mid ‘90s in a thrilling and forward-thinking fashion. It’s a striking and deeply atmospheric record, powered by synth-based sonic experimentalism and grisly concept-focused writing that exudes a sinister and shadowy feel.

There Existed an Addiction to Blood adds to a stellar canon of work that kicked off with Clipping’s introductory midcity mixtape in 2013. “That one was really us learning how to be Clipping, and what we sounded like,” says Hutson, who helped mastermind the project’s metallic, glitch-afflicted beats. On the following year’s debut album, CLPPNG, the crew moved further towards what Hutson calls “dark and noise-tinged instrumentals.” The omission of the letter I in the album title represents the way Diggs avoids rhyming in the first person. Hutson maintains that if much of hip-hop involves MCs rapping about their own lives, Clipping’s music strives to be “a novel, not a memoir.” Case in point: 2016’s Splendor & Misery took shape as an Afrofuturist sci-fi adventure that explored an artificial intelligence world; 2017’s single “The Deep” inspired the author Rivers Solomon to expand the song’s environment into a novella of the same name.

Basing There Existed an Addiction to Blood around horrorcore and gory movies is a natural representation of Clipping’s influences and the way the trio approach writing songs. “Horrorcore is this forgotten and maligned subgenre of hip-hop that we’ve always had a tremendous amount of affection for,” says Hutson. “So much of Clipping is about referencing styles of hip-hop—almost all our songs were conceived as our take on a certain type of rap song—so this horror album was always going to happen.” Snipes adds, “We think of each of these songs as self-contained movie scores of vignettes in a specific genre.”

The original horrorcore movement that inspired Clipping’s latest album was spearheaded by RZA and Prince Paul’s Gravediggaz project, plus artists including Houston’s Ganksta N-I-P, Detroit’s Esham, and New York City’s Flatlinerz. ‘90s horrorcore lyrics were packed with macabre imagery and references to psychological disorders, satanism, and cannibalism; the gruesome verses were often relayed over willfully dank and grimey production. Clipping’s resurrection of the subgenre taps into the same lyrical themes—but this time Digg’s intense verses are backed by marauding waves of monstrous synths, sharp abrasive stabs of discordant noise, and snatches of field recordings that bring a chilling realism to There Existed an Addiction to Blood.

Key song “Run For Your Life” plays out like a frantic short movie. It co-stars Memphis MC La Chat, who used to roll with Three 6 Mafia and the Hypnotize Minds roster back in the ‘90s. “She’s hunting down Daveed and approaching and moving behind him in a car,” says Snipes. “Then in the third verse, we’re fully in the car with her.” To drum up the effect of the protagonist being chased to a bloody demise, Digg’s lyrics are surrounded by constantly shifting ambient noise: The sound of passing cars blasting music and dogs barking literally pulls the listener into the chilling scenario.

The same blend of adventurous production techniques and concept-heavy writing present on Clipping’s latest album also runs through Hutson and Snipes’s Bandcamp recommendations. Blasts of abstract hip-hop lyricism mix with innovative thematic albums and avant-garde film scores, adding up to a smart representation of Clipping’s advanced-level musical DNA.

Bill Hutson

Dax Pierson - Live In Oakland

I first saw Dax Pierson play around 2003, when he was in a group called Subtle that was an Anticon side project with Dose One and Jel. Dax was also the secret weapon of the Themselves project, which was also Dose and Jel, and on tour he’d play keys and finger drum on MPCs. Dax is this compelling, creative performer and composer. This tape came out on Ratskin and it’s from a more recent show—I might have even been at the show! His music is fascinating, almost uncategorizable left-field dance stuff that’s blending all these ideas.

John Wall - Hylic

I was really enamored of improvised music in the early ‘00s, and it’s a lot of what fueled my ravenous collector habit, which came from having to track down these obscure records that came from Japan and Germany and Switzerland and England, where they were only pressing a couple of hundred copies. John Wall is very careful as a computer music composer, and he’d spend years and years cutting up tiny pieces of improvised sounds and turning them into these totally austere and totally alien compositions. I was fascinated by the disparity between how much intention there was behind it and how alien the result sounds. Hylic almost sounds like there’s no human brain making logical choices that would compose this music—it feels like it’s naturally occurring in some way, like you’re listening to the background radiation of the solar system—but there’s also the most extreme version of authorship going into it.

billy woods - Hiding Places

I think billy woods is a fantastic example of this very abstract and angular and strange rapper but with these really strong connections to the history of New York rap. It’s almost like he’s from a different timeline where southern hip-hop didn’t take over the mainstream in the ‘00s and we kept going with Nas and Wu-Tang, and it’s developed into this new form. [Producer] Kenny Segal is a buddy—we’ve toured with him—and he would have been a youngster in the Project Blowed days but came out of the experimental L.A. hip-hop scene that produced Abstract Rude and Freestyle Fellowship and, later with the beatmakers, birthed the whole Low End Theory and Brainfeeder movement. This album is a New York and L.A. collab record that seems to perfectly synthesize two different types of left of center aesthetics, but feels completely natural in a way we wouldn’t have expected maybe 20 years ago.

Kevin Drumm - 09082001 gtr/synth ‘solo’

I included this not because anyone needs me to tell them Kevin Drumm is a fuckin’ noise hero, but I wanted to include Drumm because I think what he’s doing is a really unique thing that Bandcamp can provide: A couple of months ago I bought Drumm’s entire discography for like $22, which was like a hundred or so releases! He puts out so much, and it’s all of such high quality. This specific recording is from my favorite period of his work in the early-2000s, but it wasn’t available [back then] until he started bypassing labels and physical copies and started putting everything up himself direct to the fans.

DEBBY FRIDAY - DEATH DRIVE

[The label] Deathbomb Arc put out some of the first Clipping stuff. I think of [founder] Brian Miller as A&Ring my listening habits because he’s out there finding new artists I wouldn’t come across and putting out their records. DEBBY FRIDAY completely blew me away—this release seems both out of nowhere and so fully formed. It’s just brilliant and sort of industrial hip-hop. It’s really like the best Skinny Puppy album we never got but with way better lyrics and content and performance. It’s so smart and dark—she’s a really great lyricist.

Jonathan Snipes

Missincinatti - remove not the ancient landmarks

Missincinatti was Jeremy Drake, Jessica Catron, and Corey Fogel, and they had this band for a short time in L.A. where they played these contemporary arrangements of sea shanties. They’re all incredible musicians, and their arrangements were always so off-kilter and smart. This album is only on Bandcamp, and it’s like a little monument to this band that I loved so much for a short time. One of my favorite things is arrangements of folk music that almost feel like critical theory about folk music and this project feels like it’s in this realm. I wish they were still around playing shows so I could go to them.

François-Eudes Chanfrault - Inside

I discovered François-Eudes Chanfrault when I saw the movie for which this is the score. Then, when I started looking into François’s music, I realized that I’d run across him in online nerdy computer music circles. He became one of my favorite composers, and I became obsessed with tracking his music down. The development of the Inside score is really slow and tasteful, and that’s hard to accomplish when working with film. I also score movies, and film music always feels like if the music’s following a picture. It wants to be fast and have abrupt changes—but François is someone who is somehow able to make these really long elegant cues that actually play against the action of the film in this really striking way. It’s probably the last score I’d expect anybody to write for that movie, and it hits exactly the right tone. His use of electronics and computers and his use of a chamber ensemble are perfectly matched.

Lauren Bousfield - Fire Songs

Lauren’s a really good friend, and this album’s only available on Bandcamp. She’s an incredible musician—an absolute genius. This is the album she released shortly after her house burned down and she lost all her possessions in the fire. It feels very personal. It’s easy to think of electronic and breakcore as just splattered breakbeats that feel mechanical and machine-based. But this one, with the context [of the backstory], feels very emotional, and almost makes me tear up when I hear it.

Bryce Miller - W A S P

Bryce Miller is someone I found through some Bandcamp journalism, which I read regularly. This album, which is based on the Stieg Larsson Millennium books, is elegant and precise. There’s a lot of this retro ’80s synthwave stuff flying around—I’ve made a fair bit of it myself—but somehow this really nailed the tone of feeling very contemporary, but also very ancient. It’s like what I wanted synth records in the ’80s to sound like at the time, but they never quite did. The sense of melody and structure and tension and release is really spot on. Bryce feels like a real composer in that realm.

Max Tundra - With Love To Mummy

I first heard Max Tundra on the double disc compilation Tigerbeat6 Inc. from like 2001. I was really into Aphex Twin and Squarepusher and Kid606 and Matmos, and I was trying to figure out who was doing weird electronic music and that comp came out and it ended up being a huge window into bands I’d never heard of. Max Tundra’s track [“The Bill”] sounded like a general MIDI soundtrack to a spy show that he’d recorded into his answering machine! I’ve been a lifelong fan of his since then, and this collection is, like, his teenage recordings—it’s really interesting to hear his old music. It’s charming and fun to listen to as a fan, and to note where his music took him after that. I suppose other people feel the same way about that Radiohead release.

#clipping.#clipping #bill hutson #jonathan snipes #daveed diggs

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lkfortier · 5 years

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21 Questions!

Thanks to @roadtocreativity for tagging me! I love these games~

Rules: Answer 21 questions (they don’t have to be the same questions) and tag 21 people who you’d like to get to know better.

I’m going to tag @whywritewhenyoucansleep @purplepenblog, @kainablue , @clarissalopeswriter , @nemiliciouss (tbh if they even acknowledged this I would die lol), @mysticalmoonfox , @the-violet-writer , @mesmerizingsoul, @maikosworld01 , @rhiannon-writes, @fictionalthrills , @sundaynightnovels , @h-brook-writes, @atbwrites , and anyone else who would like to play! (Not quite at 21 but I listed as many as I could off the top of my head so there’s that!)

1. What is your eye color? Brown

2. Who’s your favorite person in the world? Probably my dad. He’s one of the few people in my life currently who doesn’t aggravate me past the point of no return :p

3. What is your favorite snack? Chocolate-covered strawberries~ Yum.

4. Following: 346 and counting! I’m always looking for new blogs (especially writeblrs) to follow--it’s awesome connecting with other writers and other users in general :D

5. Writing Motto: Hm. Honestly, I don’t think I really have one? If I had to make one up on the spot, it’d probably be something like “I’ve got stories to tell, and I’ll be damned if someone tries to stop me from telling them.” Does that count? Idk but people are pretty mean to writers sometimes, so...it’s some nice advice to remember ^_^

6. Favorite TV Shows:

Miraculous Ladybug

Law and Order: Special Victims Unit

Shameless

Criminal Minds

Game of Thrones

American Horror Story

7. What is your favorite fairytale? Beauty and the Beast

8. Favorite Song? This changes like, every other day depending on my mood. Right now, probably “Once Upon a December” from Anastasia.

9. Languages I’m Fluent In? English

10. Languages I can Count to 10 In?

Literally just English and Spanish - English

one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten

- Spanish uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, seis, siete, ocho, nueve, diez

11. Top 5 Mythical Creatures (in order)? -Mermaids/Sirens

-Vampires

-Winged Unicorns

-Werewolves

-Dragons

(I’m not sure if they count as mythical “creatures” since they’re people, but I love the idea of witches/magicians/magic wielders, so if they counted they’d be high up on this list)

12. What is your favorite sport? Bowling! To play at least, I’m a pretty decent bowler ;) To watch...probably a tie between soccer, hockey, and baseball.

13. Favorite (Musical) Character? Erik from The Phantom of the Opera/Love Never Dies

14. Favorite (TV) Character? Right now probably Rafael Barba from SVU. He’s a brilliant ADA.

15. Favorite (Book) Character? ...I’ve got nuthin’

16. Are you a dog person or cat person? Probably both--makes me sound hella indecisive but I have a dog and a cat and I love them both too much to choose. All animals are amazing <3

17. Favorite Genre? Fiction, 100%! Favorite sub-genres in that range would be anything fantasy, some magic realism, and some horror ^_^

18. Who is/are the best teacher(s) you’ve ever had? All my high school English teachers, hands down. The first really helped me find a passion for writing, the second (who I had for two years) helped me perfect my style and fix a lot of technical issues I had, and the third...was kind of a prick, so I made it my personal mission to impress him by writing as well as possible and proving myself.

19. Favorite Fanfiction (Authored by Someone Else)? Ooof that’s really hard! I’ve read many fan fictions authored by other people over the last decade...I don’t know if I have a real favorite, though. Right now I’ve gotten heavily into The Arcana fan fics on AO3, so I guess I’ll just say anything with Asra in it ^^”

20. Favorite Original Story Idea (Authored by Me): I’m gonna say Siren’s Blood (working title)--it’s a WIP I haven’t touched directly in years, but it was my first original WIP and it holds a special place in my heart.

21. Favorite Original Story (Authored by Someone Else): Gonna be lame and follow the previous answer of Harry Potter--it was my first big series and so my first major book love (though strangely not the topic of my first fan fic...weird). Though only books 1-7--I like to pretend anything after that doesn’t exist

#twenty one questions #writeblr tag game #tag game #writeblr #writeblr community #lkfortier

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doomonfilm · 3 years

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ShudderWeen : After Midnight (2020)

As I continue my march through the multitude of choices provided by Shudder for ShudderWeen, I noticed myself consistently going down the road of exploitation horror cinema, with a major focus on the late 1970s and early 1980s. I didn’t want to send myself into a rut, so I delayed my viewing of Sugar Hill and decided to search for something else. It didn’t take long to stumble across After Midnight, a Shudder exclusive I remember them pushing pretty heavily last year. With loose connections to the makers of The Endless, one of my all-time favorite modern day films, After Midnight felt like the obvious next step, so I settled in for a late night watch.

youtube

Horror stories often double as analogies for other topics, and After Midnight continues this tradition by positioning itself as a horror story based on love and attraction versus commitment and understanding. Hank does seem to have good intentions in the love that he shows for Abby, but from the beginning (where the house is introduced), a feeling of “two against the world” is immediately present, which stands in stark opposition to the vignette-style memories we are shown of their courtship. For a long while, we are unsure if Hank is creating monsters to avoid the real issue, which is finding a compromise that allows the love between he and Abby to grow. In this sense, parallels between Hank’s attempts to capture the monster and his attempts to win over Abby (as well as the people who love and care for her) are obvious, but they do not come off as forced. If anything, this is where the tension in the film is birthed from... Hank’s longing for the potential loss of Abby is the lifeblood of the film’s emotional spine, and in turn, it supports how all of his frustration from this situation is channeled into a new hunt that is presented as him trying to prove a monster’s existence, but subtextually serves as a cry for help and a need to be understood for how he is.

Outside of these paralleled horror and romance narratives (or, more than likely, deeply within them) is an examination of fragile masculinity, chiefly the fear and apprehension that comes with vulnerability in spite of how important it is for understanding your partner. The symbolism of the monster hunt works extremely well in the way that it is held in comparison to the way that Hank lives in the memory of love rather than embracing his opportunities for love-filled moments that would expand the capacity for love between Abby and himself. His monster-hunting actions, as previously mentioned, also come off as Hank loudly professing a need to be heard (knowingly or unknowingly), but without the clarity of knowing whether it should come in the form of a listener, a helper or someone to believe him. Hank is unable to find this clarity, especially alone, as he is too focused on his personal needs and plans to read into or comprehend what Abby wants (or more importantly, needs). Ultimately, After Midnight really finds its narrative harmonic resonance as a cautionary tale about attempting to keep a woman instead of attempting to love a woman.

From the opening scenes, we are presented with very creative editing that is largely non-linear in terms of chronology while managing to be extremely sound in the way that it presents the film’s emotional chronology. The cinematography of the film is very kinetic, and surprisingly, the movement has a very playful edge to it, which helps keep viewers locked in and engaged. Most of the film takes place in Hank’s house, and as a set, it is extremely effective without seemingly needing a lot of extra dressing or production work. The distinct lighting found in the film expresses so much in terms of tone and emotion with seemingly small amounts of effort, which makes it noticeable without drawing attention away from the romantic core of the film. In terms of the writing and performances, the film is sincerely and naturally funny despite humor clearly not being the intended goal. The creature design, while memorable, works best in the early flashes and glimpses we get... some of the luster is lost when we finally get a good look at it, unfortunately, but not to a point that it upends our connection to the film. There is an interesting mix of eerie score (which further sets the mood) and soundtrack choices that seem to directly inform us on the narrative subtext that hangs in the air.

Jeremy Gardner pours his all into the lead role, embracing the despair that comes with lost love, the stubbornness to change for your lover and the literal thrill of the hunt. Brea Grant brings a softer energy with her performance, encapsulating the damaged nature of a wooed women forced to choose between love and the remainder of the world, and supercharging it with the energy of a woman on the brink of either pushing her lover towards awareness or disappearing. Justin Benson brings a smug air of authority to the proceeding, serving not only as the literal law in the small town, but also the protector of his little sister currently trapped by a man incapable of loving her. Henry Zebrowski makes the most of his humorous performance by injecting his appearances with down home natural humor, easing what would be an otherwise uncomfortably tense movie. Praise must also be given to Keith Arbuthnot for the physicality displayed in the role of the creature, as well as the supporting cast of Ashley Song, Nicola Masciotra and Taylor Zaudtke.

Had I seen After Midnight last year, this film likely would have shown up on my honorable mentions of last year’s best of list at the least. Before I started writing my own short films, I didn’t realize how much I enjoyed horror films as the setting for exploring other film conventions, but now that I am aware of it, I am hard-pressed to think of a better combination of horror and romance than what I found in After Midnight. This film is certainly one that I will return to, and not just for October viewing.

#ChiefDoomsday #DOOMonFILM #JeremyGardner #ChristianStella #AfterMidnight #BreaGrant #HenryZebrowski #JustinBenson #AshleySong #NicolaMasciotra #TaylorZaudtke #KeithArbuthnot

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kemuele · 5 years

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Never-Ending Survey: Kemuel || Elouan

Rules: Repost, do not reblog

Tagged by: @lightdevoid because you love me

Tagging: @ whoever wants to/finds it interesting!

BASICS.

FULL NAME: Kemuel || Elouan Sauveterre

NICKNAME: Kem, K, Pigeon || Elou, El,

AGE: unknown, appears to be in 30s || 34

BIRTHDAY: none, but like 12/9 || 9th Sun of the 6th Umbral Moon

ETHNIC GROUP: Archangel? That count? || Elezen Wildwood

NATIONALITY: n/a || Gridanian

LANGUAGE/S: all ancient/current languages to some extent, fluent in English/Enochian || Common

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Pansexual

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Panromantic

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Single

HOME TOWN / AREA: Heaven || Gridania, towards the outskirts that lead to Hawthorne Hut (East Shroud)

CURRENT HOME: Earth, primarily Pacific Northwest in America | Travels a lot, but can be seen more frequently in Ishgard.

PROFESSION: Archangel due to created duties, whereas entry-level gigs to pay for his ‘human home’ || Sell sword Paladin, sometimes returns to being an errand boy or courier back in Gridania or other nations.

PHYSICAL.

HAIR: Umber, short on the sides with medium-length on top.

EYES: Dark brown, flecks of gold seen when light hits them perfectly.

FACE: Large brows and lips, defined jaw and cheekbones with signs of stubble along his jaw and upper lip. || Same for all except stubble is minimal to none, and a long scar can be seen on his right cheek, extending from his jaw all the way to his orbital socket.

LIPS: Full, with a pinkish-beige complexion. || Somewhat full, often found in a light smile.

COMPLEXION: Tan || Likewise tan, more on the warm scale of flesh with freckles spattered along his upper cheeks and the bridge of his nose.

BLEMISHES: None.

SCARS: Scars litter his body in varying severity, with most concentrated on back and forearms. One long, jagged scar can be seen towards the ‘root’ of his left wing, just as it connects to his body. || Scars likewise litter Elou’s body in the same fashion, yet that long scar on his back is instead smaller, running from left shoulder down to mid-back.

TATTOOS: None

HEIGHT: 6′10″

WEIGHT: 230lbs

BUILD: Broad shoulders, toned and pronounced muscles, with an overall build resembling that of the average rugby player.

FEATURES: Has three pairs of wings designated visible, yet only two does he show on earth. These wings all have blue eyes on them that see at different levels of light waves, referencing his true form. ||

ALLERGIES: None.

USUAL HAIR STYLE: Kept out of his face, combed towards the back of his head and given a little volume with the disheveling towards roots. Sometimes he’ll use clips as it dries to get that look.

USUAL FACE LOOK: Pensive, with brown eyes looking around and lips pursed, sometimes his brow is furrowed due to concentration.

USUAL CLOTHING: Somewhat formal attire, primarily slacks and button-up shirts. He may wear a blazer or the like when he feels like it. || Armor, and heavy at that. When he’s taking a break from the sword, he can be seen wearing a tunic and trousers, as well as dark boots that cut off at the ankle.

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR/S: Falling from heaven, deep waters, death, being forgotten || being forgotten, failure, betrayal, and deep waters.

ASPIRATION/S: To be better, make heaven and Father proud || Become a renown paladin and help others reach that level of dedication in their field, primarily tank or damage-oriented roles.

POSITIVE TRAITS: Loyal, kind, patient, intuitive, intelligent, caring, stubborn, hardworking/driven

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Stubborn, hard-working, self-sacrificing, lacking in direction (Kemuel), aggressive

TEMPERAMENT: Phlegmatic

ANIMALS: Dogs, Bears || Golden Chocobo

VICE HABIT/S: Anger, overworking to the point of detrimental consequences.

FAITH: Is a believer, given his own existence. || Not extremely religious, but aware and acknowledging of the Twelve.

GHOSTS?: Yes.

AFTERLIFE?: Not for him.

REINCARNATION?: No.

POLITICAL ALIGNMENT: None

EDUCATION LEVEL: N/A? || Nothing advanced as a whole, except in the ways of the gladiator and paladin. He has basic knowledge in mending his clothes and developing armory/blacksmith skills.

FAMILY.

FATHER : N/A except by name, God || Anatole Sauveterre

MOTHER : N/A || Margeaux Sauveterre

SIBLINGS : Too many to count || None

EXTENDED FAMILY: None

NAME MEANING/S: Helper of God || Light, Safe land

HISTORICAL CONNECTION?: He’s the archangel that, in old times, had guarded the gates of heaven, as well as act as a leading archon. He is also the archangel that has an army of twenty thousand angels dedicated solely for destruction, an apt tool in the early wars and the final ‘hurrah’ during the days of end. || Not quite, just suitable due to how beautiful sunlight can interact with the Black Shroud and its forests.

FAVORITES.

BOOK: Can’t say for certain, but he has a feeling it’d be something like The Song of Achilles || hasn’t read too much, but Count Fortempt’s logs are interesting. Likewise with the Wondrous Trails in Idyllshire.

DEITY: He has no favorite, given his limited interaction with them. || His guardian deity, Azeyma the Warden

HOLIDAY: None in particular || Moonfire Faire

MONTH: August || Eorzean equivalent

SEASON: Summer

PLACE: Eden || New Gridania

WEATHER: Sunny with a cool breeze

SOUND / S: rain, leaves dancing in the wind, old hymns, thunder, laughter, metal hitting metal, shouts from war

SCENT / S: after an evening rain shower, sweat from sparring, metal and leather from armor, freshly brewed tea, and roses.

TASTE / S: warm, somewhat sweet like daifuku mochi or yams

FEEL / S: warmth, another person’s body against his own or in his arms, feathers, cotton fabric.

ANIMAL / S: Dogs and Grizzly Bears, as well as Golden Eagles || Chocobo

NUMBER: 20

COLORS: Gold, Copper, Umber, Cerulean

EXTRA.

TALENTS: Singing, swordsmanship, and leading.

BAD AT: Cooking, small talk in general, identifying romantic interest.

TURN ONS: Smiles, deep conversations, sparring, and loyalty.

TURN OFFS: Indecisive, overtly worried/anxious, untrusting, and lacking of faith.

HOBBIES: Reading, star gazing, visiting the sick (Kem more so than Elou).

TROPES: Lawful Good, Gentle Giant, Light is Good, Now Let Me Carry You

QUOTES: “Loyal to the end, even when I may no longer stand or carry the sword of my creator.”

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1 : If you could write your character your way in their own movie, what would it be called, what style would it be filmed in, and what would it be about?

A1 : Name is tba, I suppose. Something like an action film, with intense fight scenes or fixation on the preparation of war? With lulls that offer character introspection and some more tender moments between characters, telling his story and duties as an Archangel in heaven, and then ending through his first steps on earth.

Q2 : What would their soundtrack/score sound like?

A2 : Gustav Holst- the Planets- Mars, Bringer of Wars, perhaps.

Q3 : Why did you start writing this character?

A3 : I wanted to try my take at an angel, but not just some pretty boy with wings. I had the intent to make his ‘true form’ the regular appearance, yet the time it’d take to draw countless of icons and format it with my schedule/energy doesn’t work. I wanted to make an angel that believed to be good and just, even when his actions don’t necessarily reflect that. Kem’s a character that has yet to be his own person and live life for himself, but much rather, revolves 90% of his actions around God.

Q4 : What first attracted you to this character?

A4 : The idea that angels aren’t just these pretty faces that do good and are good no matter what. There’s a level of complexity to their nature, good derived from what God had deemed such rather than formed from their own mind. I wanted to explore the consequences of this isolated life of an angel, where any actions of independence happen to be discouraged and punished, likewise when orders are deemed immoral by an angel, too.

Q5 : Describe the biggest thing you dislike about your muse.

A5 : He seems static. Fixed in his ways and never quite going to improve. It’s the biggest thing that I find hard for me to circumvent or get him into a new

Q6 : What do you have in common with your muse?

A6 : Reading, thinking, and general kindness as a whole? We’re both interested in learning yet Kem’s is limited to what texts and like are in front of him, compared to actively seeking that new information without ties to God/heaven. I tend to think before I speak, often times taking hours or days to truly reflect on my actions or general conversations before I can offer anything I deem ‘complete’.

Q7 : How does your muse feel about you?

A7 : I believe Kemuel, given his character and such, may view me with some respect for my drive to work hard and do my best, but hold some concern over my mental health/background.

Q8 : What characters does your muse have interesting interactions with?

A8 : Interesting? Well, there’s a lot. I want to start out with Fracturedsword’s Michael, as he and Kem are able to properly explore a healthy sibling dynamic and help each other up in their times of need. Making a thread revolve around their physical presence in one another’s lives, as well as the idea that men don’t have to be ‘macho’ or reserved in their emotions is truly nice to see! Likewise, lightdevoid’s Kurasa gives Kem’s FF14 verse a run for their patience. I like that we have this conflict in their current dynamic, making things like friendship harder to obtain but more rewardable in that regard. Likewise with wildborne’s tiger Queen, Skylar. She opens up a world of humanity and individualism that he had otherwise been starved of. The two share their respective worlds with one another, and then intertwine themselves in a world of their own making. One derived from a friendship and curiosity.

Q9 : What gives you inspiration to write your muse?

A9 : Hozier (see Sunlight and Church), Bastille (Icarus, Kindness, The Anchor), One Republic’s Native Album, American Authors’ Deep Waters, and summer sunsets.

Q10 : How long did this take you to complete?

A10 : Too long, I got distracted and then stumped on some questions. Say, two days?

#voice from above | ooc #testimony | rules & info #documented time | save tag #cw: long post #long post

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alicemorrice-blog · 6 years

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Adolescents As well as Parenting Articles

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ceuweekly-blog · 6 years

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IT AIN’T NECESSARILY SO: A TAKE ON THE HUNGARIAN STATE OPERA’S PRODUCTION OF “PORGY AND BESS”

Helena Lopes Braga / Musicologist and PhD Candidate in Comparative Gender Studies

Portugal

When I first read that Porgy and Bess was to be performed in Budapest, even though I was sure Audra McDonald would not be playing the role of Bess, I didn’t even blink: “Oh my goddess! Tickets! Buy tickets!” George Gershwin (1898-1937) is among my favorite composers ever. As a jazz lover and a classical musician myself, Gershwin’s music has everything to be the object of my affection, and Porgy and Bess was on my list of must-see operas for years. However, as soon as I booked the tickets and read that it was going to be played by a Hungarian white cast, I trembled and asked myself: will I still be able to enjoy this? Other questions arose between that day and the day that I watched the performance (Sunday, January 28th), and I will be discussing some of them, and my conclusions, in this opinion piece.

Porgy and Bess is an opera with elements of African-American music; it was written by the (classical) composer who brought jazz into classical music. It tells the story of Porgy, a black disabled street-beggar, who falls in love with Bess, and *rescues* her from her abusive partner, and from her drug dealer. It is supposed to show the daily struggles of southern black communities and their hope in the future (represented by the baby, particularly in the well-known “summertime”). It explicitly demands an all-black cast – except for the only few spoken roles.

[Let me pause here just to remind you how sexist this libretto is (mind you, there is sarcasm ahead): there is one very special woman, Bess, who has no agency whatsoever, is lost at the hands of an abusive partner and a drug dealer, and is “saved” by the true love of a well-meaning disabled beggar. She falls in love with him, because the fact that he wants an old (30 years old) drunk, addicted whore (as the community of perfectly good and pure people treats her) can only be *true love*. But when her partner returns she goes back to him, because he is strong and powerful, and again she has no choice. Then the two men fight for her and Porgy shoots the abusive partner - he goes to jail, only to find out two weeks later, after being released, that Bess was taken to New York by her drug dealer, once again deprived of any agency. The opera ends with Porgy leaving for New York to *save* Bess again.

There are many other sexist tropes such as the constant groping and objectifying of women (“a woman is a sometime thing”), the presence of gossiping women (they say bad things about Bess and advise Porgy to stay away from her), the praying widow, Serena, (this one is sexist and racist) who insists on praying instead of taking people to the hospital, and of course there are straight couples only, and mothers taking care of husbands and children. This is happening in an opera written by a very likely gay composer - rumors about Gershwin’s sexuality exist since he was alive, not only because of his secrecy towards his private life and the absence of any known female lovers, but also because he was connected to certain circles of homosociality between composers who were students of the French composer Nadia Boulanger (1887-1979).]

With music by George Gershwin and a libretto by Ira Gershwin (George’s brother), DuBose Heyward and Dorothy Heyward, Porgy and Bess premiered in 1935: first at a private concert in Carnegie Hall, in concert version, and with the choir directed by Eva Jessye, the first black woman working as a professional choral conductor; then the public premiere took place at the Colonial Theatre, in Boston, just a couple of weeks later. The libretto was an adaptation of DuBose and Dorothy Heyward’s play Porgy, which was in its turn, an adaptation of 1925 DuBose Heyward’s novel Porgy. It is sometimes called the first African-American Opera, the first jazz-opera. Gershwin himself called it folk opera. It is, nonetheless, the most famous American opera. Many songs from this opera have become part of the Great American Songbook, and therefore have been recorded and are performed frequently by an infinite number of musicians. From the start, this has been a controversial work. Some audiences and specialists could not give credit to a black cast, or to a script about black people. Some others were furious that it was extremely racist. Many authors have discussed and explored racism in the critical reception of Porgy and Bess.

Indeed, in the segregationist south of the USA (Charleston, South Carolina), the opera portrays black people as violent, drug-addicts, beggars, religious, and with the capacity of having fun and finding happiness and hope in the future even when their lives are falling apart. It is a fetishization of black poor people, but even by doing so, it was considered the first novel (and later play, and later opera) that took African-American culture seriously and which explored human aspects of African-American people. It was written by white people in African-American Vernacular English. When it´s the case of being sang by a white cast, this can easily qualify as a type of blackface.

There are many other determining factors in these narratives that pose questions and negotiate perspectives on Porgy and Bess, and Gershwin’s career - the fact that Gershwin was possibly gay, and was from a family of Russian Jews who fled to the US, thus placing him in a particular level in the hierarchy of whiteness in early 20th century New York is not to be undermined. Another issue that is frequently discussed is how Porgy and Bess can be conceptualized as empowering for black people, especially black people in classical music, notwithstanding the racist overtone of the script and the fact that it was written by a white composer. Nevertheless, this is not the place to explore this further.

Despite being part of the operatic canon, Porgy and Bess is rarely performed, especially in Europe. This is for two main reasons: the first, as I’ve said before, it is a controversial opera, the second, many European Opera Companies argue that they don’t have the means to hire an all-black cast, that there are not enough classically trained black singers available. (This may be true for many countries, which brings us to question: why is it so? In the case of countries with a colonial past, it should be possible to find non-white people in every profession, but we know that this is still not the case for structural reasons) Now let me situate myself, once again, this time in regard to my country of origin. I am from Portugal, I have lived in Lisbon for the past 10 years. Portugal has a history of having bad cultural policies. When I say bad I mean investing the least possible and expecting good financial results. This is especially truth for the Period of the dictatorship (1926/33-1974) and afterwards until this day. A certain fringe of the left wing believed that with democracy we would have better cultural politics, the State would be more available to invest in culture, and finally turn the dream of having a National Opera Company into reality. But none of that happened. To this day there is no National Opera Company in Portugal. This results in having only a few operas performed each year: for this year’s season (2017/2018) the São Carlos National Theatre, in Lisbon, home to the Portuguese Symphonic Orchestra, which should be the home to a National Opera Company as well, is presenting only seven operas, of which only four are produced by the Theatre, and some are presented in semi-staged versions. Needless to say, these few operas rarely defy the canons of the operatic repertoire: Britten’s The Rape of Lucretia, Elektra by Richard Strauss, Idomeneoby Mozart and Verdi’s La Traviata. The other three productions are by foreign companies (Opera North, Opera Lyon, and Arena di Verona Teatro La Fenice). However, it is important to notice that in the Portuguese Productions, and because we have no National Opera, a significant part of the participants is hired specifically for each production and is not Portuguese (this goes from the staging director, to the musical director and, of course, to the singers, especially the ones in the main roles). Although I am all in favor of mobility and cultural exchanges, this only puts forward a huge problem in Portugal: the lack of opportunities (meaning jobs) for people in the performing arts. This comes with the added price of perpetuating the myth that artists from other countries (particularly Northern European and North Americans, but also Russians and Eastern Europeans, and Asians in the case of instrumental music) are much better than us, Portuguese.

Therefore, for me, it is uplifting to be living in a country with a National Opera Company where the productions are made mainly with artists from that country. (Is there a slightly nationalist undertone in all of this? Probably yes.) I will go back to my first question and answer it in a bit. My other question is: should the Hungarian State Opera have hired foreign singers to feature in Porgy and Bess? If it is true that there are no classically trained black singers in Hungary, then it might have been a good idea. Is it valid that the director, András Almási-Tóth, decided to do it this way? Yes, it is. Art is not supposed to be a cage in any way. We can reinterpret it and change it as much as we want to. We can read it in many different ways. Many versions and adaptations of operas co-exist with more traditional, faithful ones. And that is fine. (And the audience gets to choose if they still want to watch the performance or not. Had I seen Porgy and Bess before, I might have passed this production).

In this staging, Almási-Tóth placed the cast in 21st century Hungary, more specifically in homeless people living in the streets of Budapest. This was done through the wardrobe and set design. According to Almási-Tóth, they are in the harbors by the Danube. According to the State Opera´s General Director, Szilveszter Okovacs, the action is set at an airport. I watched it as if it was happening in the subway access channels, because of what looked like a replica of an escalator and because that is where I see homeless people more frequently.

Now there is another detail to be considered. The cast included two non-white actors. One of which, the darkest person in this production, the Guinea-Bissau actor Marcelo Cake-Baly, played the policeman, one of the smallest spoken roles in the opera. If the cast director was aiming at staging a production of white people, in order “to bring them [Hungarian audience] closer to it”, why then did he cast this black actor in such a small role (and I could argue that he is the comic relief of the play)? These smaller and spoken roles in Porgy and Bessare usually played by white actors because they represent the repression of white people in 20th century US: the exploitation, in the case of the coroner and especially the lawyer, and the State Repression, in the case of the Detective and the Policeman. What does it mean to reverse this logic in 21st century Hungary? This policeman is the weakest instrument of control in this opera, he only responds to his superior’s commands, he only does what he is told to do, showing no opinions, no personal will, despite still having the symbolic power of his position as an agent of authority. There is a history in drama of using policemen, no matter how small their roles are, as representatives of the State, sending messages to the audiences about the State’s im/potency, repression, silliness, etc. So why is a black person impersonating the State in this way? Was this production portraying the Hungarian State as weak, silly, puppet-like and opinion-less?

It is striking that this actor brings in a whole new level of otherness, in contrast to the Hungarian white homeless people. Maybe the message was instead close to a nationalist sense of own community/ies(even if from lower classes, but still Hungarians) suffering because of the imposed presence of the other(s)? And who are the superior powers which impose this presence? (Do I really need to spell out possibilities?)

Or was this just a lazy way of including a black actor in the production, just like the director’s excuses for having used a white cast read as extremely lazy? It is very difficult not to have an opinion of Porgy and Bess. People either hate it or love it. Some hate it for its music, for not being classical enough, operatic enough. Some hate it for its rather racist stereotypes. Some love it for its music; some love it for its story, or for both. However, our opinion and positionality does not have to fit within a binary of good versus bad. Loving it versus boycotting it. We can and should develop the critical tools that allow us to think about works created in the past. Watching them, reading them, listening to them with our own critical lenses.

I am now able to answer my initial question. Yes, I did enjoy this performance very much. Despite the problematic issues happening both in the libretto, as in the production, I was able to appreciate this staging. The singers were amazing, particularly Orsolya Sáfár as Bess, and Beatrix Fodor as Clara (what a beautiful and flawless rendition of “Summertime”!). Marcell Bakonyi (Porgy) needs to learn how to walk in crutches (using the crutch opposite to the hurt leg), but his acting skills are convincing, nonetheless, and he did a good job singing as well. Boldizsár László as Sporting Life was one of the stars of the evening, not only does he have great acting skills, but also an energetic way of bringing rhythm and singing together, despite sometimes standing on the verge of becoming a bit vulgar. In my opinion, Csaba Szegedi has a great voice for the Crown but his physical appearance (he is a large and very tall man) turned the character almost into a ticking time bomb, which is not usually the case, and this ended up emphasizing his abusive relationship with Bess in a rather uncomfortable manner, because he became physically more threatening than usual.

I must admit the orchestra was a bit of a disappointment, not only because of the choice of certain tempi, and the lack of a convincing swing in the fastest songs, which turned out a bit lazy because the tempo was not flowing in a clear manner, but also because the relationship between orchestra and singers was at times slightly desynchronized - this was especially true during the first act and in one or two scenes of the second. But overall, the orchestra did its job and provided a nice and smooth environment for the staging. Apparently the premiere (Saturday, January 27th) faced lighting issues and had to be delayed for 25 minutes. Some might believe that this was the Phantom of the Opera or, in this case, it would be Gershwin´s or DuBoise´s ghost mad because there was a white cast. In any case, could this have caused the orchestra´s lack of confidence the following evening? We will never know.

I have been imagining Porgy and Bess performed, as it should, by an all-black cast, in a place like Budapest, where everyone in the audience was (and is usually) white. How uncomfortable would that be? How reminiscent of Minstrel Shows would that be? Black people for white people´s entertainment? One thing is clear to me: in any case, Porgy and Bess is a racist (and sexist) opera. Porgy and Bess will always be a racist opera. Just like Puccini’s Turandot and Madame Butterfly, or Verdi’s Nabucco, or Gilbert and Sullivan’s Mikado, Aida and Il Trovatoreby Verdi, Carmen by Bizet, The Gipsy Baron by Johann Strauss II, and I could go on. Most of these operas are extremely sexist as well. Many are deeply rooted in misogyny, where women are portrayed as promiscuous femme fatales or pure naive girls who are deceived, but eventually most became hysterical and end up killing themselves or are killed as a form of punishment for their immoral behavior (unless heterosexual monogamous *true* love saves all): Rigoletto, La Traviataand La Forza del Destinoby Verdi, Norma by Bellini, Carmen by Bizet, Turandot, Tosca and Madama Butterfly by Puccini, Lucia di Lammermoor by Donizetti, Wagner’s Tristan und Isolde, and so on. As we all know, they were written in a different cultural context. Does that excuse their content? No. But should we remove them from the repertoire? No.

Does this prevent us from enjoying such performances? I can only speak for myself. No. But maybe this is just me trying to excuse myself for being a snob privileged middle-class white scholar (no sarcasm here) and envying the fact that so many countries have National Operas where most of the roles are played by local professionals.

#opera #ceu #theceuweekly #student #journalism

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mysteryshelf · 6 years

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SF & FANTASY WEEK - Continuum Trilogy

Welcome to

THE PULP AND MYSTERY SHELF SF and Fantasy Week!

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About the Books

THE 13TH CONTINUUM

One thousand years after a cataclysmic event leaves humanity on the brink of extinction, the survivors take refuge in continuums designed to sustain the human race until repopulation of Earth becomes possible. Against this backdrop, a group of young friends in the underwater Thirteenth Continuum dream about life outside their totalitarian existence, an idea that has been outlawed for centuries. When a shocking discovery turns the dream into a reality, they must decide if they will risk their own extinction to experience something no one has for generations—the Surface.

RETURN OF THE CONTINUUMS

As Myra and her friends set out to find the First Continuum, they must navigate a hostile landscape and even more hostile inhabitants of other continuums with their own ideas about the future of the human race. In the pulse-quickening sequel to The 13th Continuum, the young heroes must make an unlikely ally if they are to survive long enough to reach their destination and learn the secret behind humanity’s destruction and the hope for its survival.

THE UNITED CONTINUUMS

In the epic conclusion to the award-winning Continuum Trilogy, Aero leads a group insurgents from the Second Continuum to overthrow his rival Supreme General Vinick and unite his space colony’s military forces, while Seeker takes on a secret mission back to her home colony to reinforce Earth’s defenses and defend the First Continuum against an even greater threat. Myra’s nightmares have become a reality as the Dark Thing hurtles toward Earth with designs on eradicating the planet’s fledgling populace. The only thing standing in the way are the three Carriers and those who would join them to fight against a second coming of the Doom.

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Includes short story by Jennifer Brody entitled “Let Me In”

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Interview with the Author

What initially got you interested in writing?

I’m a voracious reader and love getting lost in books. Nothing is better than reading a great book that you can’t put down. I started out my career working in Hollywood on many book adaptations, like The Lord of the Rings films. Eventually, I realized that instead of working on other people’s stories, I wanted to write my own. That sent me on my journey to writing The 13th Continuum and becoming a published author.

What genres do you write in?

I write big worldbuilding science fiction—and it’s my main passion. That said, I love stories of all kinds. My next book will be a YA Romance Space Opera (so fun!). But I’m kicking around an idea for a thriller and a fantasy book after that. I’ll see where my ideas take me.

What drew you to writing these specific genres?

Let’s see … basically I’m a giant nerd. I love Star Wars, Edgar Rice Burroughs’ Mars books, Kurt Vonnegut, Asimov, Tolkien, A Wrinkle in Time, Tamora Pierce, Anne McCaffrey and more! I love getting lost in big worlds—and creating them is even more fun. I also love asking what if questions and imagining where our current path could take us in the future.

How did you break into the field?

The usual way—writing a manuscript, querying agents, getting signed, then my agent submitting to publishers. Actually, some film producers slipped my unpublished manuscript for The 13th Continuum to Turner Publishing, who fell in love and bought my trilogy.

What do you want readers to take away from reading your works?

I want them to fall in love with my characters and get lost in alternate realities. I’d also love them take away the warnings present in the Continuum Trilogy (don’t want to spoil it).

What do you find most rewarding about writing?

I love getting lost in the writing process and creating new worlds. It’s kind of like choose your own adventure, except I’m the author. I also especially love my younger readers. They’re so passionate about the books they love. Getting kids excited to read is a dream come true.

What do you find most challenging about writing?

The rejection. Sometimes, it can feel endless. My first manuscript didn’t sell—it’s my drawer novel. But I learned a ton writing it, and it landed me a great book agent. Also, the uncertainty in the market causes some stress. I do best when I just focus on a story I love and that I feel compelled to tell. I love the hard work and craft of a writing a novel.

What advice would you give to people wanting to enter the field?

Take classes, like the ones I teach for the Writing Pad in LA. Seek out communities and other writers in your area. Read, read, read, read. Write what you LOVE the most.

What type of books do you enjoy reading?

Everything and anything in between! As long as it’s good writing and a compelling story. Recent-ish favorite authors:

Adult folks: Victor LaValle, Victoria Schwab (she also writes YA), N.K. Jemisen, Marlon James, Anthony Doerr, Neil Gaiman, Joe Hill, Meg Wolitzer, Andy Weir, John Scalzi, Marko Kloos

YA folks: Leigh Bardugo, Amy Spalding, Robin Talley, Angie Thomas, Kelly Link, Livia Blackburne, Marie Lu, Stephanie Garber

Is there anything else besides writing you think people would find interesting about you?

I was born in St. Croix in the USVI, grew up in Appalachia, and graduated from Harvard with a degree in film. I began my career in Hollywood, working on the remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I went on to work at New Line on films, including The Lord of the Rings films, The Golden Compass, Birth, etc. I produced a teen dance film called Make It Happen, starring Mary Elizabeth Winstead and Tessa Thompson. It was the first film to feature a Lady Gaga song.

What are the best ways to connect with you, or find out more about your work?

I’m super reachable and love hearing from readers!

Jennifer Brody

Award-Winning Author of The Continuum Trilogy

Website: jenniferbrody.com

Twitter: @jenniferbrody

Instagram: @jenniferbrodywriter

Snapchat: @jendawnbrody

Facebook: www.facebook.com/jenniferbrodywriter

Mailing List Signup: http://eepurl.com/ciNpvH

About the Author

Jennifer Brody’s award-winning novel The 13th Continuum sold in a 3-book deal and is being packaged into a feature film. The book is a Gold Medal Winner (Young Adult – Sci-Fi/Fantasy) from the Independent Publisher‘s Moonbeam Children’s Book Awards. Return of the Continuums and The United Continuums complete this epic trilogy. Her short fiction appears in the upcoming From the Stars anthology and Common Deer Press’ Short Tails. She is a graduate of Harvard University, a creative writing instructor at the Writing Pad, and a volunteer mentor for the Young Storytellers Foundation. She’s also a board member for the non-profit science fiction writing competitions the Roswell Award and the Tomorrow Prize. She also founded and runs BookPod, a social media group for authors.

After studying film at Harvard University, Jennifer began her career in Hollywood. Highlights include working for New Line Cinema, most notably on The Lord of the Rings films, The Golden Compass, and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. In 2008, she produced the feature film Make It Happen starring Mary Elizabeth Winstead and Tessa Thompson. She lives and writes in LA with her husband and one-eyed miniature Goldendoodle named Commander Ryker.

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