#but i dont wanna stress myself out too much lol
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💋 💌⌛️
YES THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for sending me something off of the works in progress emoji ask game!! If anyone else wants to send something the list can be found HERE if anyone else wants to send some or reblog for themselves! As always, I love ask games, and I love fanfic, and I love our little Tumblr community and am so grateful that people are willing to engage with me. Thank you!!
💋 - snippet of a wip of your choice
You're getting a snippet from All the King's Horses (I know probably not the one people want lol) but I am SO EXCITED about it and I also just realized today is Wednesday not Thursday which means I have to wait even longer to share it so I am sad.
George cleared his throat. “Matthew and I are going to head out,” he said, trying and failing to sound nonchalant.
Gabi looked up sharply, “Matty’s coming?” She asked, a smile playing on the corners of her mouth and George flushed. Polly had no doubt filled her in on their Cold War.
“Yeah,” said George, “we’re still good to meet you at Jalapeño’s?”
“Yep,” said Gabi, “just waiting on Polly to finish giving meds.”
“Cool, I think Ross and Waughty will be there first, they said they would get a table,” George said, hooking his backpack over his shoulder. “We’ll see you soon?”
“Sounds good,” said Gabi, flashing George a thumbs up with a glint in her eye.
Matthew was standing by the entrance to the barn when George returned, wearing a pair of wayfarer style sunglasses and a well worn Kentucky Horse Park baseball cap tugged down over his curls. George swallowed a pang of disappointment, even sweaty and squished from wearing a helmet all day, George liked Matthew’s curls.
“Ready?” George asked and Matthew nodded, following him to the parking lot and climbing into the passenger seat of George’s truck.
George looked away as he did so, not wanting to get caught checking out his ass, admiring the way his navy blue breeches pulled tight as he hoisted himself into George’s lifted vehicle, the hop jump he had to do to get in only highlighting how small he was. George quickly banished the thought of how that meant Matthew would fit perfectly, tucked against his side.
💌 - how many wips do you have?
Too many 💀 Officially in progress being actively update (at least in The 1975 fandom I'm pretending the other fandoms don't exist at the moment) I have five:
All the King's Horses
Make Way for Ducklings
You Know Where the City Is
It's Christmas (So This Is Gonna Be a Nightmare)
On a Friday
In terms of ones that exist and are actively being worked on but aren't ready to be posted / haven't been posted yet I a have five more:
Tennessee Stella McCartney (the Nashville™️ fic)
Now Is the Hour (The teen dad fictional!matty fic)
Vampire AU (we're still working on a name)
The End of SATVB Sick Fic One shot (name also TBD)
That super secret fourth thing that I keep joking about
So apparently all in all that's TEN WIPS and i did not realize it was that many and now I'm stressed...
(Less work has gone into them - but I also have the infection verse fics where Baby Gatty gets together and Fictional!Matty is readjusting to the public eye after the chapter eight events of the A&E fic but I'm not emotionally ready to admit that I have 12 WIPs lol)
⏳️- wip you're planning on doing next
That is a very good question! I whatever fic gets updated on Tuesday will be determined by the poll that I still don't have the results for yet (it ends soon if you haven't voted yet!). Once the Christmas Fic is finished I would like to start posting another one of my in progress WIPs, I'm just not sure which one yet. I also want to FINALLY hopefully get the SATVB sick fic finished - I'm just worried people are going to be disappointed because I have taken so long to finish it and I'm worried it's been over hyped
Thank you SO MUCH for sending me this ask oh my gosh!! I'm so excited about my various projects (even if I'm a little stressed I hadn't realized there were so many lol) and I hope you continue to enjoy my posts in the meantime! I hope you have a great rest of your day and a great week!
❤️Ally
#allylikethecat#ask ally#anon ask#keep it kind#fanfiction#matty fic#fanfic#gatty#questions#answers#works in progress emoji ask game!!#WIPs#i truly cannot believe i have that many wips wtf#also i want to work on prompts too#but i dont wanna stress myself out too much lol#its better if i dont realize how much there is haha#thank you for sending this and for reading and for the support!!
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(2022) Meeting Again (Part 10/10 END)
And there we have it! A nice cliffhanger for you all ;)
I really do hope I make it this far and beyond in my fanfic...So it will actually get explained. But, even if I don't, I hope you guys enjoyed anyway!
<< Previous
#tmnt#tmnt 2003#tmnt oc#tmnt 2003 oc#comic#fancomic#or even if I dont getthere in my fic#give me the brain capacity to do it in a mini comic at least???#we can only hope#I am but one person#and alas I have other artistic goals aside from these#and my personal ones have to come first im afraid#i mean original stuff anyways#because this stuff is personal to me too and i love it so so much but...i cant exactly make a living off it lol#that and i dont wanna stress out too much forcing myself to work on things#i wanna keep it purely fun for myself so its p spontaneous and eclectic
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#personal#whats literally so funny was that as soon as i saw him walk in the room last year i knew he was gonna be trouble for me#however i never knew itd be this kind n this deep JDJDNDJJDNDJDNDNDN#we are like........ way closer than i ever anticipated. im terrified that we wont have anything to talk about once school ends#i wanna say so much to him but i... theres so much school stress i just.... i dont wanna add anything extra on top for myself or for him...#hhhhhh god lmao. this time last year i hadnt even spoken to him n now im like..... in this Thing that is maybe mutual but maybe isnt#god....... this shit is so hard NFJFJJFJFJFJF#i only see him like 3 more times in the near future......#then i gotta wait a bit.... but i dont want to 😭😭😭#i wanna see him every week.... at least... but its probably gonna be on a month basis even IF THAT....#god what if it all fizzles out............#hhhhhhhhhh#im gonna try to keep it going. im just..... idk. im scared#i hope he tries to keep it going too.....#its just hard.... when its 2 ppl that like.... only talk when they need to...... try to keep in touch JFJDJDJDJDKKDKDKDK#the most we go now is a full day without talking...... like either i'll message or he will#usually its me.... but... im more talkative i guess ... IDK#all ik is that i Know hes not talking to anyone else at school LMAO#one of my friends was like.... ya dont bother putting him in a group chat .. he never answere#while im over here like.... LOL he messages me back always within minutes/seconds#and if hes offline... as soon as hes back online.#JXJXKKXKXKXKZ GOD.#n e way. see him today............ looking forward to it but also nervous 😳#i'll be fine once i see him tho... its just the Anticipation#feel really comfortable around him LOL. never thought id say that#anyway
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if i think hard enough then perhaps i can manifest my comfort character and get him to Kill my mother
#cell baby if you are out there.#please BLOW UP my lineage#jokes aside (if you are still reading these tags for some reason and didnt just scroll past this post) my mom stresses me out so much#she gives me a migraine every time i talk to her#not to get into too much detail. but she's essentially my *through gritted teeth* ABUUUUSERRRR#anyway. ive been sobbing nonstop thinking of telling her stuff#i cannot tell her literally anything. if i do then the information i indulge her in gets weaponized against me#or blatantly ignored#she's a trauma victim herself but has done literally nothing to improve her mental state#so she just drinks 90% of her problems away and then wonders why i don't tell her anything (she likes to yell at me and make me cry)#(after berating me for hours)#one time i was holding the door (no lock lol) to my room shut so tight that my hand went cold and numb#while she was banging on it and demanding i come out#she was still yelling at me#i was pleading for her to leave me alone#this was going on for at least an hour or two beforehand lol#(this was because i forgot to set up a spa appointment FOR MYSELF) ((i feel bad going to the spa bc its expensive))#anyway i dont wanna get into too much lol#i hope you like my vague storytime. kiss kiss
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...
#i have to drive to the big city tomorrow morning... which is...#itll b fine. ive done it multiple times before so itll b fine#but also everytime i have to drive somewhere im a sobbing mess bc its so scary#and i space out which is terrifying so i have to sing and talk to myself the whole time so my brain doesnt drift too far#and i dont kno how long i have to b there or if ill b able to find parking...#i just hate is so much. literally its not a far trip. if we have a fucking working train system there would b a train between our two#universities and it would b like 30min. such fucking bullshit. that would b incredible. i would actually b able to go places#fuck the lack of public train transportation. its stupid.#at least i was busy all day. its crazy how much less terrible my day is when im in a semi empty lab working with algae#hopefully i didnt kill the culture bc i had to transfer immediately after making media. i think it cooled enough but well see#fuck. i dont wanna drive. i should sleep so im not more insane tomorrow#its crazy how distorted i get abt driving. i will convince myself that my car is gonna like fall apart while im driving#and that im absolutely going to have an accident caused by me. so i get up like ok this is where it all ends#in a smear across the highway#oh god i have to get gas tomorrow too#thry recommended i get there at 9 but maybe ill get there 8.30 and just like sit in my car crying for half an hour#lol i turn up to the lab with tear stained cheeks like hey sorry if it seemed like i was resistant to coming down here. im very unwell ✌️#bleh. lets not think abt it. dont think just do. and pray i dont have to fucking go multiple days#my reward for success is no spring break bc a stressful project will begin this weekend#but im not even sure i have spring break bc im a lab tech so i think mayne thats not a loss? idk i dont kno#when im supposed to b working or not. it doesnt matter. my tine sheets r a lie#time sheets :-P#unrelated
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I HAVE TO LAUGH I HAVE TO LAAUGGGGFHFH
#when i dropped out of school and started working somehow everything started being easier#my social anxiety got soooo much better . my depression got so much better and i wasnt stressed at any giving time and i thought#that maybe all my mental health problems were just a direct consequence of me being undiagnosed nd in an environment that expected too much#from me without offering accommodations for me to reach those goal#like work is still tiring and overstimulating at times but theres no deadlines!!! i dont have to bend n break my back to get certain tasks#done!!!!! like i have a package of tasks i just loop through and i can plan in my own days and weeks and decide what i will be doing when#and how and theres no wrong or right system of doing things as long as the result is just what my boss wishes for and im AUGDHDGFH im so#lucky to be here#To get back to the point im trying to make tho.#as i left an environment that just wasnt good for me and entered another environment that somehow did wonders to my mental health i rlly#thought i would find peace from now on. Like id still get upset and sad or whatever like non mentally ill people do too#but it wouldnt be to an extent anymore where i wanna hurt myself or disappear forever#and for a bit more than a year everything was good!!!!! started to think i made up all my mental problems tbh#but lately things have been so tuff . i havent been this depressed in years#and like i can still physically do things . i can still go to work and clean my room and take showers and whatnot#but im so exhausted. and i keep crying all the time and i feel like everyone hates me for being so . depressed and i cannot physically do#the one thing i love doing (drawing) like nothing i try comes out good enough which just makes me cry again lol#and i dont . i dont understand it#bc i removed all (most?) of the factors that were making me this mentally nauseous and i was supposed to feel better . i was supposed to fee#good now. but i feel like im back at uni sitting on my bed crying over my notebooks trying to cram all the paragraphs into my head not#understanding why i cant remember anything for my classes . why its easy for everyone but me#everything always seems easy for everyone but me#i really dont understand#is this really a part of me . will i really always be this miserable and insecure? will i always hate myself and not feel enough?#im still the same person i was before i just wear different clothes#my body grows but i just dont grow up
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bro that teen pregnancy shit fucked me upppp 😭 I fr am in tears and rolling around my bed lol
my brain went on a tangent halfway thru the moms section I was like damn okay what if mc and cove just ran away huh then what
AND THEN I remembered they’ve already ran away before which is part of why mom is so worried about cove’s influence and hellooooo???? full circle moment 🫢 made myself gasp fr
ya u make me think so many thoughts on this one good lordddd
-🗑️
LOL AWW I DIDN'T THINK EVERYONE WOULD GET SO EMOTIONAL </3 AND LMAOOO I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU THOUGHT ABT RUNNING AWAY AGAIN, PLEASE IS THIS GONNA BE A TRADITION LOL
anyway, well good morning!!!! here's more angst n food for thought🤭🤭
tags : Angst / Hurt/Comfort, headcanons, fem/afab reader, pregnancy
[part 1: "everyone finding out cove and MC got engaged because they're pregnant"]
his whole world stops. his ears feel like they've been stuffed with cotton and his world is spinning outta control.
now lets assume the rubber broke, just for, simplicity n lore sake.
it's not that he wasn't already worried about this happening, he had been worrying about this for weeks since you realized what happened.
but even then, he already had the fear of god in him about this happening. both because his mom and dad were on him about safe sex, but also because he has a lot of feelings about being an accident n child to teen parents... and he really didn't want to recreate that situation or put feelings like that onto another life, another human with complex emotions and many many thoughts. a human and life he's responsible for.
it shocks him so much, because he's very worried about repeating of his childhood on his child, and his kid feeling the same way he did/does.
he already knows that either way, the babe will probably have mixed feelings on being a accident, and essentially being a bump in road of his young parents lives
but it's also everything he had been worrying about, finally coming to fruition.
even though he's very, very stressed and scared for your futures, he's long since decided to make it work. he really wants to make it work. he wants to do the best by you, and the babe. and he wants to give his kid what he didn't have.
but anyway...
you're very worried about dropping the news on him
and i bought you aren't surprised at how pale cove gets when you drop the news...
and if he's not sitting down already, he is now. (he might just faint, like forreal this time too from the looks of it...)
he's very emotional, and super nervous, but what scares you is that he's very quiet...
when he does speak though, his first question is "what're.. what are you gonna do?"
because before he gets too emotional, he wants to know what you want first. you're carrying the baby and you're the one who'd go through all the changes, and you're the one who has the most intense feelings and being pregnant makes your emotions n hormones even crazier and more intensified.
all that plus how young you two are? and all the plans you two had? yeah, it's a lot, and regardless of how he feels, he wants to do whatever you want and he'd understand if you decide not to keep it.
but if you say right then and there, you wanna keep it, cove says he'll take care of you, and the babe, comforts you and hugs you. then he says wants to get married..
or if you say you dont know... cove says you two will work through these emotions, and that no matter what, he'll take care of you, and the baby if you want it.
when you do eventually say you want to keep it, even if you say this a couple minutes after, or a few days after, cove comforts you again and promises you'll work through this, and that it'll be okay.
then he brings up getting married...
of course it's more emotional, and maybe even a bit romantic!
so imagine this, you're sitting on your bed, and you and cove are hugging each other, you're wrapped up in his arms and it's a great comfort.
you're both really emotional, and calming down after crying and having a moment.
cove pulls away, takes your hands in his and even with glassy, red eyes he has a determined expression. goes on about how much he loves you, and how much he treasures you, and that he's going to do his best for you, and take care of everything.
his speech probably draws you back to tears, even brings him to tears but he keeps going because he needs to tell you all this!!
"y/n... i want to marry you, i want us to be a family.. i know i don't have a ring and this isn't very romantic but.. will you marry me?"
doesn't matter if you say yes right away or if you ask him if he's sure he wants to get married, he reassures you he's not just doing this because he thinks it is what you and/or your or his family would want.
he wants to marry you anyway, why wait?
now about telling your parents.
regardless of if you have cove there while you tell them, or you do it alone, lets say cove finds out what your mom said about him being a bad influence.
i also think your moms are a bit icy with cove too, so even if he has to force out all the details of your conversation, he already knows your moms aren't happy
but to know your mom thought, maybe even thinks so still especially with the news, that he was/is a bad influence on you.
it makes him sad. because what if she, or even both your parents, thinks that cove is dragging your life down with marriage and a baby?
well, like i said in the first post, this totally opens up a new can of insecurities and doubts, and he kinda spirals into his own mind.
he even starts thinking about what if you regret marrying him, and/or having his baby. what if you decide you hate being a parent, or being married, or being a family all together?
what if this holds you back so much that you start to resent him. god he's so afraid of you resenting him.
and your moms being short with him doesn't make him feel better because now he just had a thought, what if your family hates him so much that they start talking to you about how much of a mess this is, and then you realize how they're right, and decide to leave him, or even worse, leave him and the baby?
it's all very irrational thoughts, and when he wakes up (after maybe 3 hours sleep), he realizes it is a bit.. ridiculous. just a bit. he knows you wouldn't abandon him so easily, and you certainly wouldn't be swayed by your family
but he also wouldn't blame you if you had, or have (now or in the future), any resentments. he just really wants it to work.
i think this is also the time when he realizes exactly how much his parents divorce fucked him up.
he very determined for you two to make it work as a family. not co-parents.
he wants to see his kid every day, he wants to see you everyday, he wants to celebrate every milestone as a family and he definitely doesn't want to fight with you like his parents did. and even more so doesn't want to make your kid hear or see all of it.
he doesn't wanna fight, and then you or him walk out for hours or days. doesn't wanna sleep in separate rooms, doesn't wanna sleep by the crib to comfort himself with the presence of his darling baby, or because you two fought, like his dad used to.
doesn't wanna have to explain why mommy* and daddy are fighting, or why they don't sleep in the same room, or why they aren't talking to each other, or why they aren't living together anymore.
definitely doesn't want to explain what divorce is and what that means for them.
(*just saying mommy for simplicity sake)
but he also doesn't want to repeat what his dad did, and take on all the burden by himself.
it's hard to find a balance too, because he's torn between working his ass off to provide and prove that he can do it, that you aren't making a mistake... and accepting help, or letting himself relax sometimes.
but i think wanting to be there for you during the pregnancy, forces him to leave his days more open.
of course he still works more than usual, but he also makes sure to carve out time to see you, and be there to comfort you or bring you food, flowers, or go on a date.
remember i mentioned therapy in the last post?
please encourage him to start it. because this is a very big transition in your lives, and you both want the best for yourselves and the baby, so lets do the work before they get here, okay?
fighting with his dad
now he definitely appreciates his parents concern, and their support and words of wisdom, all that stuff...
but when his dad says something like "you don't want to end up like me and your mom." or "you shouldn't mess up your future."
or even if he insistently tells cove, "think about your future! y/n's future!"
cove gets upset, just because does that mean his dad is projecting onto him, and telling him that they're fucking up just like he and mom did? or is he telling him that he's dragging your future and his into the mud?
either way, that's what makes him say something mean, just like i said in the last post:
cove would probably end up saying something (a bit) hurtful like "i would never end up like you and mom." , "i would never marry MC if i didn't know it'd work. unlike some people, i'm not gonna make my kid listen to us argue and then try to play happy family." , or "trust me, my kid won't end up with a childhood like mine." / "trust me, my marriage won't end up like yours."
he definitely hangs up the call or walks away from his dad immediately afterward, shaking with anger and anxiety. he's so stressed. and he's worked up.
after the argument, there's only 2 places cove could go at this moment. to you, or to work.
and if he's at work, he's distracted, but tries to focus on his job. he's still mad at his dad, and he already feels like crying. he really didn't need his dad to doubt him.
he gets it. he gets it, he really really does. but he feels so fragile, that he'd really appreciate a little faith.
now if he's with you, which he'd probably run to you after work anyway just so he doesn't have to face his dad yet. he's like a big baby
he's holding you, arms around your waist and his head on your stomach or lap, or you're laying on your side and he has his hand on your belly, as if he's waiting for the baby to reach for his hand through your tummy.
when he tells you what happened, and why he's so somber, please run your fingers through his hair and just listen to him for a bit... eventually he'll start rambling about all the things he's been holding onto, including his fears about you resenting him
it'll probably be a long talk, but once you reassure him that you wanna make it work too, and that you know cove will be a good dad (and vice versa), and that your moms don't hate him, they're just... upset. and worked up about the turn of events.
and you talk about his dad too, and the argument, you both realize it comes from a place of concern.
he doesn't wanna see you two try to be a family and fail. he doesn't want you to make mistakes he did while raising cove...
conclusion, it's a very fruitful conversation. and cove goes back home, teary eyed and a bit like a lost puppy, and that night he doesn't find his dad waiting for him (cliff tries to work as late as possible, both because he wanted to give cove some space, but also because he has a bad habit of avoiding situations... so when he does get home, he spends the night in his room)
of course they can't avoid each other forever, and the next day cove actually makes the effort to find his dad during his lunch break to apologize.
he said something really hurtful, that i don't think cove could live with if he didn't apologize.
his dad definitely laughs when cove mentions that you said that cove should try therapy, and even if you don't say that his dad should consider it too, cove does say to his dad that a family therapist sounds like a good idea.
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ok i might get blocked by a couple ppl for saying this but the Jackson’s Diary fandom is seriously making me wanna become a proshipper out of spite (read the post before blocking me or whatever please)
like idk if u guys have checked the fandom tag on ao3 recently but theres been a bit of drama surrounding the fact that someone posted a smut-fic of Exer (an 18yo) and David (an almost 18yo, who was aged up A FEW MONTHS for the fic) and they were harassed into taking it down and making a fucking apology post ON AO3, THE PROBLEMATIC FANWORKS WEBSITE.
and this fic was tagged 100% correctly like it was very explicitly tagged as smut n stuff yet there were still a bunch of comments being like “uhm what did i just read 🤨” and when i made a comment defending the authors right to yk, not be harassed for making not even rlly problematic content someone who clearly would suffer withdrawal symptoms if they turned twitter off for too long started arguing with me abt how “erm ackhtually we should be allowed to comment harassment under ppls harmless and explicitly tagged fics cause theres no smut in this fandom and it shocked us” and u could just rlly tell they felt they were more righteous than God in their opinions and yeah so cut to tonight when i’m scrolling through the tag and i see a post titled “i’m so sorry” in which the author made a post basically being like “i’m so sorry for posting that ik it was disgusting it has been permanently deleted” which in the comments a few ppl were telling them that what happened sucked n stuff (myself included // judging by their reply they only did this to stop the harassment which yk, completely fair) and i went back to scrolling since i wanted an actual fic not fandom drama but like 2 posts down there was another post titled “please stop” or smthn like that where someone else made a post basically being like “guyssss can we please not write smut of these characters this fandom is so wholesome i dont wanna ruin it 🥺 anyways sorry this isnt a fic this just needed to be said lol” and like dude, my guy, WHAT THE FUCK?!
this is AO3, this is a fanwork archive that as far as i know was created (at least partially) due to the fact that ppl kept getting their “problematic” works taken down from other sites and the creators wanted to yk archive all fanworks. this is NOT a social media site where u can make callout posts abt how what someone else posted disturbed ur pure wholesome chaste scrolling by daring to uploaded something with *gasp* consensual sex between 2 consenting adults?! (or canonically 1 consenting adult and 1 consenting gonna-be-an-adult-in-a-few-months-but-isnt-much-younger-than-the-first-guy but u get the idea)
like guys, ao3 is not twitter. it is not tiktok, it is not tumblr, its not youtube, its not even wattpad. it is not a social media platform, it is a fanwork archive, specifically one that lets u post whatever kinda content u want (yes, even smthn depicting 2 consenting adult/almost adult participates that are in no way related having sex, ik its crazy what they allow online these days).
and look honestly the callout post wouldn’tve annoyed me this much if it was posted on yk an actual social media. like if it was posted on twitter or tiktok or on youtube as a video essay or even on here, like sure if i saw it id be annoyed that this fandom cant handle the tiniest bit of non-puritanicalism and fuck, maybe if it was on here id even drag myself into a pointless days-long argument that causes me suicidal levels of stress but on archive of our fucking own itself?! for the millionth time, IT IS NOT A SOCIAL MEDIA! u dont make posts like that that u want the rest of the fandom to read or whatever on there because its not that kinda website!
anyways yeah i hope i explained the situation ok, u might be able to check it out urself if u feel like it and yeah idk this whole thing just kinda felt like a wake-up call for me like yes i find incest and pedophilia disgusting OBVIOUSLY and i dont like ppl romanticising it in fiction but idk i’ve seen ppl talk abt toxic antis before and show screenshots of conversations where theyve acted super shitty but idk seeing this all unfold in person and having to argue with these hardcore antis just- i dont wanna be associated with these ppl, if these are what alotta antis r like i dont want anyone to assume i agree with them like at all, whether its other antis, proshippers, or ppl like me who have a super complicated opinion on it. like they harassed a person into taking down their smut and made call-out posts on ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN abt how they dont want their wholesome pure fandom corrupted by gross dirty irredeemable sex. and just yeah hope no mutuals i seriously care abt unmoot or even block me over this since ik a few of u r antis but yeah srry for this i just kinda seriously hate this fandom right now :)
also incase anyone is typing out a “kill yourself pedo” reply/rb rn; i turn 15 on Friday, i am 2+ years younger than ur innocent bb minor boy David and his definitely not already a legal adult boyfriend Exer so yk
#jackson’s diary#jacksons diary#ao3#proshipping#dexer#fandom discourse#will probably regret making this post by tmrw morning but yk thats future me’s problem#again hopefully i explained this ok i’m pretty sure it was quite rambly
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mwah your art is good and nice :>
can I ask for some advice? no worries if u don't want to answer.
do you have any tips on how exactly to practice art? everytime I ask for art advice everyone always says "practice" but idk what to practice first! do you have any strategies for learning how to draw something? do you do excercises? and if so how do they work?and are there any beginner mistakes I should look out for and change specifically?
thank you so much!! have a wonderful week :>
thank you so much! im ok w answering! i dont want to speak as if i am an expert on how to draw things in general as i am learning as well and definitely am not completely learned, so i might not be the best person to ask since im not very professional w my art as I do it as a hobby (and I can only speak on mostly digital cartoon matters) but i reallly hope to try and help u out even a lil ! im really happy that you’re eager to draw :] I wish you so much luck muwah muwah
i also hated when ppl told me “just practice” and i dont wanna inflict tht on u EITHER LOL but also thats just what i ended up doing for awhile but i tried to find some things to help ^_^
tips for practice: My number one rule is that practices should be challenging but still fun, I know it can get frustrating trying to redraw a pose over and over trying to get it perfect. And over time it rlly is all about muscle memory, the longer you draw the more your eyes will pick out specific shapes in everyday life and convert them into its own vision of them! or at least its good to look at life that way, try to pin point key shapes and stress less on details in practices. after you look at key points, THEN you can go over what you have and draw in and over it to make it more “complete.” To stop practices from getting too stressful I recommend starting out drawing what you want a little more simple looking than ur desired finished product. This helps eliminate the pressure of everything not looking “perfect” and keeps your art more loose and fun. Doing this a few times is gonna get ur brain to recognize patterns in art and how things look/flow in anatomy and such. dont get stuck in ur own head abt perfecting everything to the point you either 1) give up bc ur not at a level capable of it being 100% “perfect” or 2) focus so much on making it perfect that you end up saying the work looks “wonky” or stale in dynamics, So while I do think studies help, don’t get too lost in them. I always practice with media I enjoy too, whether it’s characters or fashion I enjoy.
Strategies learning to draw something: people get mad abt this one but I think tracing reference photos is great. its been awhile but When I tried learning to draw hands better at first I would trace them then put the traced image to the side of the canvas, then try and replicate what my mind saw as its most important angles and aspects. Same for clothing folds/hair/etc! I think it’s maybe not the best idea to trace the ref and use the tracings as is, because you learn more from tracing it then trying to replicate and simplify what u learned into the style you’re working in. Find what shapes you like from them and don’t over detail it. you may have to go by eye and think “what parts of this ref photo should i simplify to fit my style” and for me, its usually adjusting the length of the torso and then the limbs by associations. i dont recommend feeling like u need a reference for every art you make though, its ok to let ur own head try out its own sometimes too while trying to learn this, see if it remembers any call bad from the past referenced sketches! over time ull remember where everything goes more, these days i rarely kick myself to use refs but im sure they still would help to use, but figure drawing simple blobby figure in a bunch of random poses was a big thing i used to do as well to get better at full body art + overall dynamics (still does this). also paying attention to silhouettes is great
Exercises and how they work: I WANNA HELP U SO BAD BUT to be honest, all the works on my blog ARE exercises! i rarely actually do finished pieces, if u scroll thru my posts ull notice most r sketches. i usually just fill up a page and call it “warm ups” then i get attached to some of them, take a few, and just line them up pleasingly on a smaller page, then color them in (or sometimes fix the lines to be more clean too). im not rlly a person who “exercises” to practice, it more so happens from just me drawing a lot for fun as a hobby! but i really should. i will tell u this has humbled me a lil i need to start practicing too 😭 LOL but a good exercise is to look at what ur inspirations do, and study it. Make a collage and write out what you like most abt their styles/what u want to gain from them. For ref Here’s a page I did awhile ago when someone asked me abt my insps:
i also look at fashion magazines and as well as anime figures and take insps from that sometimes with learning cool poses and compositions to convert into my own things
Beginner mistakes to look out for: its hard for me to pin point “mistakes” beginners make, as sometimes we cant avoid all of them or even notice them, progress comes from growing out of old ways. some mistakes are even the foundation of ur future amazing cool style! but i think some things to look out for could be these, from my own old art experiences
Hands were the first thing I learned bc i liked drawing them. I don’t know if that is the best way to go but I think it is smart to practice sooner than later, here is a lil guide thingggyyy wingyyy from awhle ago
i see beginners shy away from drawing signs of age in people, sometimes adding too much detail on an older person in cartoon art makes it look weird, so i try and hit the key markings on ppls faces of age.
Too thin of lines. sometimes its a stylistic choice to use thin lineart, and it can look amazing ! but sometimes it can flatten an image if ur not familiar with its flow. im not saying use thick line art, but more so to keep in mind the weight of ur strokes, adding depth with a thick thin combo of line art can do SO much for the simplest of pieces. heres a visual from a while back when i talked abt my brush + more abt lines:
but if ur desired style is thin lineart that is cool too! tbh it was just harder for me as a beginner
sometimes artists think they need to do full lineart for everything and then hate how it looks compared to the sketch, do not fear i will introduce u to my bff: painting over a sketch, extractinging the lines, then calling it line art. i only do this sometimes but its a fun exercise-ish thing to do in a pinch. example:
finding what shading fits ur art. sometimes ill see ppl starting out who have a style thats very simple, but they use a very detailed rendering process on it. this is not something id ever police of course, art is each persons own choice! And it CAN work. It can be so cute! but sometimes mixing two very contrasting mediums of art can throw off the “put together” look of it. i use to abuse the airbrush tool thinking it made my simple style look super cool and detailed, but looking back on it now those pieces looked a little off, having such a simple style have somewhat more realistic shading. dont get me wrong the ability i see ppl use rendering like that is so insanely talented! but i found cellshading to be a good match for cartoony art like my own. a tip i learned way too late abt that is rather than shading each layer by color picking a darker color, instead use a clipping mask over the entire art (above line art too as I color my lineart) and lasso tool the areas u want shaded + fill it w a saturated purple then set to multiply + lower opacity. also, sometimes coloring can come out chalky looking when u meant for it to be smooth and transitional, i think this comes from overshading and overlighting pieces without reason. pay attention to where the light source is, and focus on making the shaded and lighter areas nice shapes that cover the necessary areas, then u can add additional shading to the smaller details of what should have a casted shadow/light
its good to spice up ur art now rather than later, focusing making ur art pop more w backgrounds will help ur coloring skills look better too! i dont mean detailed huge backgrounds, a small lil color pallet and design rather than a blank white bg. like this will make u feel better abt it or at least it helped me *sweats* yeah:
beginners tend to draw blank faces like “:)” but I think a good thing to do is try and get silly with expressions early on. It’s okay if the mouth hangs off the face cartoonishly with joy or shock, it’s ok if the eyebrows are super high in surprise.
tracing and pasting it as is (already said this but I’ve seen ppl do it a lot with hair styles and it makes it look alienated from the rest of the style) (final fantasy fans found critically injured) n if need a ref for a pose, using a real humans anatomy as-is doesn’t look quite right on a cartoonyish drawing. Shortening torso and legs usually comes out of this for me!
flip ur canvas i promise u it’ll be less embarrassing over time!
using guidelines for perspective and foreshortening is GREAT. Do it stylistically rather than realistically to add some groove to it...yay. Having silly perspective in art can make it look like a 10 so easily opposed to a normal front facing sketch. Look at cool poses from fashion magazines! Don’t be scared to draw something you don’t feel confident in conveying perfectly, this is why progress redraws exist :)
Drawing the hairline b4 u draw the hair is great, it helps u understand where their hair flows from, where it starts and stops, AND prepares u for drawing bald ppl. Also don’t make the head too big, the skull IS bigger up top, but sometimes I see an alien head affect.
Anatomy is an interesting mistake that beginners make a lot, but it’s one they find harder to notice! When I started out, all my art would be SO wonky, but I didn’t even realize it! It still happens today too! specifically though I see beginners struggle with the arms in this department. My advice is to try and measure them out and make sure they don’t go past the knees, and are the same length as each other when Unfolded. asking for criticism is hard but it helped me realize when i would make something bigger/longer than it should have been in my art, and stuck with me being able to go “oh... i see it LOL”
clothing wrinkles- do not over do it! Too many wrinkles and shading can look unpleasant and wirey- like a plastic table cloth all bunched up which isn’t exactly what ppl wear. pay attention to gravity too
I hope this helped even a lil im sorry tht I’m not very good at explaining or didn’t have much to sayyy! If u have any troubles no guarantee I’ll have the answer, but ur always free to ask!
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Mother Pookie has fed her kitties well🩷🩷. There’s so many emotions idk which one i should talk about first?😭😂
BUT DANG chap 2.2 is just HOT
I am actually speechless😂 I have nothing to say except I am satisfied.
ITS SO GOOD OMG POOKIE? WHAT R U DOING TO ME? WHATT?!!😫😫
Lemme say, It didn’t take me long to hate Lilian. Like I swear, the moment she fucking said that Major looks like a SKANK gurl, fuck u.
My first impression on Major was like how Bucky saw her, a hot pretty dame that made me giggle like a teenager, making heart eyes and singing the whole world to my dick (if i have a dick)
And then throughout the chp, oh my goodness, I would’ve slap Leah the moment she starts bitching up. Major has a dang ass patience. I couldn’t.
THE THINGS I WOULD DO TO VOTE FOR BUCKYBABY TO BREAK HER HEART IN THE WORST WAY POSSIBLE (so far she’s 35% in my ‘dead’ list, better fix ur attitude if u don wanna end up like cunthage — ITS JUST BEEN 2 CHP?!)
Lindsay rubs the ick on me more than Jade (ofc Jade is worse but she dead now) but cuntly is so so so so so so so so so irritating. The absolute pick me, so called ‘one of the guys’. Ew. Even half of the team is irked by her attitude. That just says a lot.
Glad that our queen Major put her in her place. She needs more. Like, absolute humiliation (disclaimer: i dont support bullying but LILIAN FUCKING NEEDS IT)
And can we appreciate Wanda simping over Thor?😂 (you are not alone, i also dream of licking his abs — mhmmm)
Bucky and Major are purrrfect for each other. Its giving love at first sight 👀. Bucky simps hard. Like so hard. I can wait for more Bucky X Major scene (fluff,sexay — mayyybeeeee angst? i just love hurt myself)
Also, iMajor and Tony r absolutely gonna be ‘rich business badass besties’ and then them + Sam (Wanda and Nat at the back) roasting Leah. Oh what a beautiful dream~
Anyways, beautiful beautiful writing indeed. Waiting to see Bucky sexay POV next😂 Unleash the power of your blue balls. Also I can’t wait to read what your master brain had planned🌚. Love you Pookie🩷🩷🩷
PS// these past few days I was scrolling tumblr, searching for new Bucky fics/updates and honestly… I MISSED YOUU!!! I CANNOT STRESSED THAT ENOUGH!!! 😭 seeing your username the first thing when i opened tumblr made my night! i was planning on listening to songs, dwelling on my loneliness and delulu but LOOK AT ME NOW, ITS 4AM GOSH. THANK U POOKIE LOVE U HAVE A GREAT DAY
POOKIE! <3
Actual footage of me coming up to love on your comments:
I'm so glad people are enjoying 2.2! I gotta be real, I usually don't get hot and bothered when it comes time write smut, but that section? Whoa, boy... that section had me like:
(Yes, this is my second favorite gif of all time, and I will use Blanche to express my hot and bothered-ness whenever I can, lol)
I gotta tell you right now, the phrase "making heart eyes and singing the whole world to my dick (if i have a dick)" is now the highlight of my week, so I thank you for this. It's pure literary magic <3
Major is used to taking shit from peons; she was a woman in the military, after all, lol, which is why she's able to not let Lily phase her too much. Her patience will be tested, though. Where Cunthrage was just flat out unhinged, Lizard is more... selfishly insidious? Just, you know, she's not going to be kidnapping people and snapping their arms or murderously rampaging through Hydra bases or anything. (The stakes here are much, much lower, lol. Which, I guess, is going to prep us for Unbroken, where the stakes will be... Thanos-sized, lol.) I think what makes Lily feel worse, to me, is that she's far more realistic than Jade was. Like, I know girls like Lily irl; thankfully, never met a Jade (phew!). Much like Killgrave, to me, is the scariest Marvel villain, because I've encountered so many men like him in the real world.
The things I dream of doing to Thor would probably get me put on a list if he was a real person and not a fictional character, lol. Unless I'm doing AUs, I tend to stick with canon-pairings, but there is something about the idea of Wanda/Thor that I currently find very appealing, so hopefully, we will see something happen between the two of them. I think they would be adorable. And for some reason known only to my maker, I love making Wanda a little bit horny, lol. In fact, an earlier draft of Unwanted had Pocket referring to her as the Sokovian Horndog after she made some comments about Bucky's body, lol.
Is it weird that I don't plan on having Tony be too involved in this fic, because I feel like giving him a friendship with Major is like him cheating on his friendship with Pocket? That makes no sense whatsoever, lol, but I'm so protective of my girl. I'm like "Yeah, Major, I'll let you fuck Pocket's boyfriend, Bucky, but YOU CANNOT BE FRIENDS WITH HER PSUEDO-BROTHER TONY BECAUSE HE IS HERS!"
Bucky's got some sexy POV in the next sextion (see what I did there? lol) but there's going to be so much more smut in this one than Unwanted. It just feels right, lol.
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INTRO POST :O
(and heres the timeline for anyone following the addison arg!!)
pronouns page!!
k so i decided to make an intro post for my whole 40 followers because im bored, i cba to make another one for my tiktok and i like talking about myself >:D
(important bits are highlighted if you dont wanna read all of it)
hi!! I go by Charlie or Stick online and I use she/her
I am a MINOR‼️‼️‼️ but I dont really mind people over the age of 18 interacting with me just keep that in mind lol (im not gonna specify my actual age)
I post higher quality things on my tiktok @spamtonslongnose so u should totally go follow me there
I mostly reblog other things, post my own art or make polls. I really like making polls.
FANDOMS :
Deltarune (spamton and the addisons)
Undertale
The Amazing Digital Circus
Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy
Portal (GlaDOS (wifey/j))
Ghosts BBC
Smiling Friends
The Amazing World Of Gumball
i mostly just reblog stuff or make posts complaining about smth going on in my life. i do post art sometimes but often its just random scraps of art leftover from my tiktok
also i pretty much always have art reqs open!! if you ask me to draw something from one of the fandoms listed above i will prolly draw it!! i cant guarantee that i will but i will try at least lol. if you really want me to draw smth make it addison related i love those guys
i do try to add image descriptions to my art, but often they are very simple because im lazy and tired
i have a bad habit of info dumping about whatevers happening in my life atm,, plus im very whiney and love complaining,, if this happens just ignore me ill get bored eventually
im not gonna do a dni bc 1 i cba and 2 itll just be the basic dni criteria and no one needs to read that for the billionth time lol. ill just block u if ur weird
Pls dont vent to me i dont know how to respond and it stresses me out </3 /lh. I cant face my own problems let alone other peoples'
sorry if i ever come off as rude, sometimes i kinda take jokes too far. if i ever make you upset or uncomfortable just lmk and ill stop what im doing. i NEVER want to upset people
ok well i think thats it, bye!!
#oh well ill just edit it if i realise i miss smth#hitchhikers guide to the galaxy#spamton#deltarune#addisons deltarune#portal#GlaDOS#undertale#smiling friends#intro#ghosts BBC#hmm cant think of any other tags i think thats good
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i NEED to see more of your art !!!!!
*bats eyelashes* this is a threat.
AHFLALSDHA WHAT- STOP GET OUT NO U DONT PLEASE-
U WANNA SEE MY ART??!!
IVE BEEN WAITING FOR YEARRSSS FOR SOMEONE TO SEE MY ART-
For future standalone posts like Possession AU/actual Fanfics/Non-Asks I'll probably add some of my art as a fun visual, since it sucks the closest I can get is gifs to feeling more immersed! :/
These I drew over the past 2-3 weeks! They're my lovely OCS, left to right, Lucille, Mara and Sabrina! They're story is a big fat beautiful shit on JK Rowl*ng! Lucille is a black lesbian successful trans woman/future magic council-woman, Mara is a japanese-american hard-headed/bold sapphic woman/future professional magical athlete, and Sabrina is a plus-size queer woman/future professional magical plants necromancer! They're in my twist on Harry Potter universe, where they all go to magical university, and the point is that Mara and Lucille are infamous school rivals, but then fall in love/fall in love with Sabrina too! A magical gay polycule if u will, I've written 2 short stories about them for my fiction class so far!
SHEESH, DO ME A FAVOR AND CLICK FOR QUALITY!!
this was my last project for my illustration 2 class! I have a physical comic book/zine I'm making, but this is the summary TLDR digital piece lol, its actually a sort of isekai of myself into Percy Jackson and changing his fate for the better! (Yes ik his anatomy is ROUGH, dont look at him too hard- SOBS)
Here's an earlier project this year from Illustration 2, I got an article I had to make illustrations for, to help you understand it/add aesthetic to it! My subject was Cosmic Topology, pretty sick topic if u ever wanna look it up, it's about the shape of the universe! :0
^^^
And these-
are the gifs from that art exhibition I talked so much about the past couple weeks! It was my senior art exhibition (a requirement to display art in the uni gallery to graduate!)
irl photos under this text block!
These are actually being projected across pages in a fake photo album/prom guestbook thingy, fully interactive so u can turn the pages and it shows a new animation, like a magical storybook! Also, since it's prom themed, I made it a kinda guestbook/sign book so gallery viewers can get some glitter pens I left out to sign the end of it! I also have a playlist I made playing in the gallery along with it so it's like what they'd play at this prom! :) hope that made sense!
The content is that the girl you see walking around in white is getting social anxiety/stressed out, to the point of dissociating, as a way of doing my theme I've kept up for university of things appearing darker than they initially look (hence the colors + I love colors), and to bring awareness to mental health!
welp, didnt mean to include all that black space, but that's my artist statement too! (u cant see the prints in the pictures, that's just my interactive piece I was talking about!)
hope if u click on the statement it's readable lol
Just click on the Alt text, I pasted it there 😭 also the piece is called
"You're the Star of the Night (you're dissociating)!"
Tumblr hates me so I just made the gif of me actually turning the pages into a link/QR code thingy! feel free to check out if u want :)
Uh anyway, if you made it this far, thank you so much!
Can't wait to make more fanart tbh lol
AND THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN FOR ASKING ORAH!! (sorry it wasnt more genshin stuff whoops...) RLLY HOPE I DIDNT SPAM U TOO HARD-
Safe travels,
💀♒️
#my art#aquarius art#aquarius arts#ask box open#my asks#art post#lol nothing to tag rlly bc if i say 'not genshin' itll still register if u search#anyway thank u sm orah#my beloved ;-;#cant believe u asked omfg#i cant wait to draw more sagau stuff tho#i just havent had much time for it this year bc of school#which is also why the possession au art is bare bones linework too lmao
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Hi! Can I request for mafia/badboy/CEO domSanHwa x freader smut? I’m not sure what you’re comfortable with so just make it freaky and write what you’re comfortable with and leave out those you are not okay with!!
Was thinking about: daddy kink, mirror sex, breeding and bulge kink, choking, voyeur, exhibitionism, dirty talk, slight hair pulling??, any other freaking things you wanna add~
dearest anon, when i got this request i smashed my fist into the desk because HOW DID YOU KNOW i am trying to rewrite my mafiateez-series because i just love the concept of criminials!ateez so muchthatihavebeentryingto— *inhales*
i know you don’t know but i am making this canon now LMAO!!!
and tbfh with ya i do not have a daddy kink LMAO but you phrased it so kindly, yet you asked for freaky so i really hammered down on that one (youre welcome.) hope you get your thirst quenched!
here's the link to read "serve time" !! if you want find out more about the series, click to read more :)
to be honest, i spent my whole life making fun of the western sexy man bad boy mafia-trope ok. LMAO sue me
as a sucker for korean noir, i just appreciate/love the angsty, gritty and morally scratchy reality of kkangpae/geondal (= korean gangsters), and that world portrayed in korean media a titsy tiny bit more.... lol
inspiration for this series over all would be "nameless gangster" (yoon jongbin) and "new world" (park hoon-jong) but only for my characterisation for the teez boys
there's always been a little lack of strong female characters in these movies and while i do understand where that comes from, i wanted to explore the morality and ethics a woman could stand for in an industry like this without being too much of a femme fatale? i think i do tend to write for a more dominant, cheeky fem!reader, but yeah!!!
i had this one in my drafts since june 30, with my mafia series i had on ao3 being posted idk when i started with writing for ateez this year and i just?? idk kinda held myself back from wanting to really take myself serious because i fr just wanted to make fun of the trope lmao....... now i'm here having written 15k+ words so uh. yeah look at me now right
that being said, my main influence is having read bai, aka @/hwaightme's mafia!gangster!seonghwa fic "bang bang" AND I CAN'T STRESS THIS ENOUGH LMAO BECAUSE UH? it might actually be tattooed into my brain idk. IT'S JUST SO AMAZING? and fulfills every little dream of mine to have a woman-centred mafia noir movie. UGH.
anyhowww korean culture!
i used a bunch of proverbs which will kinda become important but ill make very clear when you can or when you don't have to pay attention so dont worry LMAO !!!!
with the help of my irl friends, i have tried to make the honorifics sound more natural and will provide you a list now to kinda guide you through it (it's not THAT complex tho tbh.)
this is only for chapter 1, i dunno exactly how it's gonna be like for chapter 2 !!!
"teacher" = "seu-nim" to refer a buddhist monk
"brother" = "hyung-nim" to refer to older male, in this context used to express that san is a mafiaboss who speeaks highly of seonghwa ("hyungnim" is also used to address mafiabosses)
"baby" is honestly a standalone? the equal would be "aga" or "jagiya" but i think mafiaboss!san means it as like baby baby, so "aga" (the cuter version of "aegi")
"daddy" (LMAO HELP) = "OPPA"???? okay this one still has me baffled but it will not be that relevant anyway. we did think of this as.... oppa tho. like it has the same implications at least LMAOOO
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YES IT IS LIKE THAT AND NOW I WANT ALL OF THEM FOR YOU TOO I AM EYES EMOJING U SO HARD RN
YAYAYAY I AM EYES EMOJING YOU TOO
What is your nickname?
i don't really have one these days, but i suppose jake or august are still two of my favorite names i go by ^^
When is your birthday?
10/21/03 <3
What was your longest relationship?
1 year and 2 months (ended) (thank god)
What is your favorite book?
six of crows - leigh bardugo !
What is something you're insecure about?
the way i speak LMAO i cringe so much hearing my own voice or hearing the things i say. i feel like im so socially awkward and i hate it so bad 😭😭😭
5 Male celebrity crushes
uhhhhhh i dont rlly keep up with celebs like at all anymore but i used to be literally head over heels for chris pine when i was younger HELP
5 Female celebrity crushes
ZENDAYA and maybe saorise ronan ???? (help me i dont rlly care abt celebs)
What is your dream job?
concept/character artist for a game company !!!! (and to make my own games) (which i am currently working on)
What do you consider your biggest accomplishment?
finding out about my dream college last september after literally never knowing about it prior (besides a friend making an offhand comment abt it in like. 2017 that i forgot abt), finishing a portfolio in less than 2 months, and getting accepted LMAO
What is a fact about you that nobody would believe?
i used to play indoor and outdoor soccer year round, my indoor team competed in a lot of big brackets for the state (i now play no sports and i can barely go up more than 2 flights of stairs or run more than a few meters without dying) (thank you asthma and anemia 💪)
What were your highs and lows for this last month?
highs: FINSHED MY FRESHMAN YEAR OF COLLEGE WAHOOOO
passed all my classes 🔥
made some new friends :D (and regained some old)
lows: uhhhhh mental health struggles mostly
Where is somewhere you'd like to visit?
i reeeeeaaalllyyyy really wanna go to japan so bad. im literally japanese and ive never been there, and i have family there ive never met that i want to see
How do you de-stress?
sleeping, drawing, playing some games, bothering the bf, gams with friends (unless its helldivers) (then i am stressed more)
What are your favorite apps besides tumblr?
pinterest my beloved <3
Describe yourself in one sentence.
good intentions, but poor execution
What do you think makes you attractive?
uhhhhh i have big eyes, smallish waist ???? i really try and prioritize other people (help i rlly dont know how to answer this)
What is something you're really good at?
drawing :3
What is something you're really bad at?
cooking LOL (im trying to get better)
A time that you told a lie.
telling the kid in my prj group that it was okay after he apologized for being literally the worst group member i have ever worked with (he literally did NOTHING and almost cost us the project several times)
What's a totally random and useless fact that you know?
bearded dragons can puff their eyes out along with puffing their chins when they get scared or feel threatened (thanks to ron for scaring the absolute shit out of me one day) (i thought he was dying)
Who knows you the best?
either my bf or my irl best friend :3
What is your most prized possession?
a wooden box my dad mae me a really really long time ago. that or this little sterling silver flip flop necklace my grandpa gave me a few years before he died when i was a kid
What is your longest friendship?
with my irl bsf, been friends 13 years now
When did you first feel like an adult?
either when my dad finally started actually swearing when talking to me or when i changed my car's oil myself for the first time
Do you/ Have you played any sports?
played soccer for like 11 years and did archery for 5 :3
How are you feeling right now?
im really tired and my cramps are killing me 👍 but im chillin
Are you an early bird or a night owl?
night owl even tho i rlly wish i was an early bird so bad. no matter when i go to bed or how many hrs of sleep i get its so hard to wake up before 9 am bro
Do you believe in love at first sight?
for ocs? yes. irl? absolutely not
Favorite song lyrics right now?
literally loving all the lyrics in a feeling - whxami but more specifically i am thinking abt waiting room - phoebe bridgers
"if you were a teacher, i would fail your class
take it over and over til you noticed me
if you were a waiting room, i would never see a doctor
i would sit there with my first aid kit and bleed"
also saw a robin edit to espresso - sabrina carpenter and now my brain is IM WORKING LAAAAATEEEE CAUSE IM A SINGERRRRRRR
What does self care look like for you?
taking showers and making myself food. i hate actually taking showers but the post shower untainted clean feeling is so unmatched bro its the best
Describe yourself with 3 singers.
RONEN, wave to earth, and two door cinema club
What makes you nervous?
meeting friends of friends (meeting new people is fine but its scarier if someone i know is introducing me), going to people's houses that i don't know very well
What’s a pet peeve you have?
trying to talk to someone but getting dry ass responses or no response at all
What will always make you cry?
bro. those tiktoks that are like. "if you know yourself which one are you picking". oh my god. those destroy me so bad
What kind of first impression do you think you make on people?
i honestly have zero idea bro 😭😭 if im meeting people at school im probably a little overwhelming (im loud asf at school) but if like. im meeting my friends parents or my bfs friends. i am a ghost
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#i experience an emense amount of guilt ovet not being able to focus on work. go into the lab and run into a lab mate and hes like#u leave Thursday? why tf r u here? and that makes me feel a lil better lol#ive just being data entering all day. that takes so fucking long. and then helping an undergrad#exept my code was out of date so i was like welp i can only get u this far bc i did not write this code. i do not work with the#supercomputer on a regular enough basis. and i gave my 30 days notice today so ill be working remotely until the 18th#i probably should have done it way before but like ive still got so much to do i might as well get paid for doing it#the undergrad was like id probably work to the end bc i feel lost when im not working and i was like. bro. im so fucking brunt out that ppl#around me r like yo r u ok? theres a thing as too much work. dont cross that line. snd ill still probably work to the end bc i dont wanna#have to do it on top of other shit. but god. in a few days i never have to go back in that building again#sometimes having to be in that lab would make me feel physically ill i thibk just bc i have so much stress associated with standing at that#lab bench but woof i will not miss it. its not great. the ppl r nice but like the institution kinda sucks. but i probably#wasnt the best fit for the school. i only cane out here for my advisor and on that front i have no regrets#god im so tired tho. just make it Thursday already so my parents can b helping me move >~< lets fucking goooooo#srry for not posting much drawing wise. i prob wont b able to for a while as i transition across the country lol#also. a note to myself. i should get a proper sketchbook so i can actually draw out ideas and store them in a place. that would b convenient#god. its so hot 😖 let me leave#unrelated
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ok as an artist i personally find traditional painting to be. really really annoying. like. i do not have the patience for it and i just find it to be really frustrating to set up and actually do and i end up not liking the results. i find that there's little room for mistakes and trying to fix them usually ends up with me making 50 other ones, paints can be so inconsistent and having to rely on availability and certain brands to continue making the paint is really inconvenient, not to mention expensive. spending a bunch of time trying to mix the right shade of paint, only for it to go down a completely different shade of colour and not being able to do anything about it is so frustrating as someone who likes consistency and having things just, y'know, not change colour as soon as it dries. plus, they all use different chemicals and can go off really easily or change textures and i am just not ok with having all my materials having an expiration date like food. lead and graphite pencils just don't do that and they can last for years, they're more reliable. every paint is drastically different and trying to find the right one is not only time consuming but, again, expensive, and i don't even see the point in experimenting when most of my materials end up not even getting used if i don't like using them. plus, i'm just.... really impatient. waiting for paint to dry sucks and is why i much prefer digital or just drawing something because i don't need to wait for anything, it just works. and then when i do want to take my time and work slowly for a better result, it dries too fast. it's kinda hellish trying to balance that time, especially considering how inconsistent paints are.
i like to use guidelines when doing art and i find painting straight onto a canvas to be really tricky because there's a lack of direction for me to actually paint. i'm at a complete loss at what to do when i pick up a brush because i can't map it out first without risking screwing up the paint. there's just so many things to keep track of and so much wet paint to avoid and i just do not have the mind for it. putting colours on a canvas and praying that it works just isn't it for me and requires a discipline that i just don't wanna involve myself with. painting is also just like... really exhausting and kinda painful. i got some pretty bad back issues and my arms tire and get sore easily and quickly when i'm standing in front of a canvas. it's a really physical activity for me and i just don't find something to be very fun to do at all when it's physically hurting me. i know drawing on a canvas has this issue too, which is why i prefer sketchbooks. sitting down and drawing something that doesn't break my entire spine every time i do it is much more preferrable than questioning if i should go to the doctor every time i make a brushstroke, lol
that's not to say that there's nothing i like about painting though! i can paint simple little things, and i like doing that. i like mixing colours with a palette knife and i find it fun and even a little relaxing. i painted some cute little chibi cardboard cutouts of the mario brothers one time and i found that to be really fun and i think i'd like to do that again! but apart from that, i just do not have the patience for it. i love the look of traditional paintings and i find many to be really beautiful, but i could never get into actually doing it myself because i hate the process. i'm content with just sketching and doing digital stuff because that's more fun to me and less stressful of a process to do. it's fun, it allows for more mistakes, it's easier to build up layers of shading and lines, not to mention using building up a figure with guidelines is super helpful with visualising what i want it to look like, and i can just erase something if i don't want it there or want to change something. it just makes sense to me.
tl;dr i dont like painting because it's inconsistent, expensive, time-consuming, directionless, frustrating and it makes my back hurt really bad. i'll just stick to drawing stuff :)
#vent#artist vent#i hate painting#i hate it so much and i just cannot understand it nor do i have the patience for it#i seriously had a crack at it and i just find it to be so annoying#there's so much preparation and i'd much prefer just whipping out a pencil and eraser and scribbling something down#to be fair though i do enjoy other art mediums that require more preparation#i find crafts to be fun and i really like working with air dry clay#using clay is just creating a little creature and i really quite like it a lot#making little cardboard guys is fun if not a bit tricky sometimes because my hands are so big compared to the tiny bits of carboard im usin#but it's very fun and cardboard is easy to get#clay is not so easy to get but you can get a lot of it and make many things with it#the only things i really dont like about clay is fingerprints and the fear of having your art literally explode when you fire it up#but other than that? fun!#painting? not fun!#paint is so messy and i don't like having goopy stuff getting stuck on me and all over my fingers all the time funnily enough#if i bump into something (which is very likely for me because i am clumsy) then oouuguh there goes all the paint its everywhere now#oh my god you know what i hate the most. i hate oil paints. i hate them so much.#the smell gives me bad headaches and makes me feel faint and it's hard to clean and dispose of and it's just more chemicals to deal with#it's just acrylic but more annoying#i don't think it's edible either which is. frustrating#it's also harder to clean out if you get stained with it (which is very likely because paint is messy)#i just dislike oil materials in general. they smell weird and they do not wash off. i still have oil pastel stains on one of my favourite-#-shirts despite the fact that it has been washed multiple times. and it took several days and so much fucking scrubbing to get-#-it out of my nails and off my hands completely. actual hellscape.#i know graphite and lead pencils would never betray me like this#pencils are so reliable and i love them <3#pencils and drawing equipment in general are just more reliable and don't expire or develop inconsistent textures (except erasers for some-#-reason) and they don't! hurt! my! back!#like i'm over here needing to do the riker maneuver to sit down after i paint my back hurts so bad
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