#but i cudnt be sure
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tumblr…. has merch …. like official merch… i…
#anjxjdkskjfksjdjsjjsd WOW#ukw i can’t even lie i want one of the sweatshirts actually…#i wud NEVER be caught dead wearing it in public tho#it wud be a stay at home sweatshirt 4 sure#i cudnt handle the embarrassment of wearing that in public#n is at it again
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34 just playing the part — under the mistletoe !
CHRISTMAS SPECIAL
scaramouche x g!n reader
warning: suggestive imagery
notes: ik elzer is the ragnvindr family butler but idc that man is hot. and ik childe has 2 older siblings (?) but i dont rlly mention them. also idk his moms name so i named her alexandria ok i read sm childe lore and cudnt find anything…
Scaramouche made sure to leave your hands empty after the train ride, dragging both of your suitcases towards the man holding a sign welcoming your group. At the moment it was just Childe, Scaramouche, and you. Everyone else would arrive later that night. You were arriving early since Scaramouche mentioned wanting to introduce you to what was essentially his family growing up.
“Hey, how’s it hanging Elzer?” Childe called out, holding up a fist for the man in a pressed suit to bump, which he promptly ignored before opening the car door for the three of you.
“This is the family’s butler, he’s chatty you just got to wait,” Childe introduced, piling into the car behind you, “One of these days he’ll finally fist bump me back!”
“When you said you were rich I didn’t think it meant butler level rich,” you mumbled, eyeing the interior of the car.
“Wait till you see Scara’s place one day,” Childe says, before getting punched in the shoulder by Scaramouche.
You rub your palms against your top, getting the excess water off of it as you turn into the hallway. You’d spilled a fistful of sugar onto yourself and Scara had ushered you to the restroom, demanding you clean yourself up.
On your way back you pause at the wall next to the staircase. It was littered with picture frames, all arranged to take up the entirety of the wall. You were about to go back to the kitchen before squinting closer and noticing a familiar tuft of indigo hair.
It was pictures of Childe and Scaramouche as children. One was Childe’s arm slung around Scara who had a displeased expression on his face, a birthday hat sitting atop his head. Below it was a photo of the two of them asleep on a bed, sharpie doodles scrawled across their cheeks. The frame right next to it was Childe holding up a pair of bunny ears with his fingers behind Scara on the day of graduation. You can’t believe it’s been that long.
You fumble around for your phone, snapping a photo of the wall before making your way back to the kitchen.
“I saw your baby photos,” you greeted, walking in on Scaramouche gathering ingredients for you two.
He immediately groans, “You saw the wall?”
“Yep, you were a cute kid. Not so much anymore,” you tease, helping him set up by tearing open a bag of flour.
“I keep asking Alexandria to take them down but she never does,” he grumbles, taking the jar of frosting from you after watching you struggle to open it.
“It’s cute, let her leave it up,” you grin, grabbing a handful of chocolate chips to throw back into your mouth.
“I’ll tear them down one day or another.”
/ an hour later /
“Did you do it right?”
“I think so? Try it.”
Scaramouche looks over to the bowl of dough you mixed, eyes roaming for a spoon before simply grabbing ahold of your palm and bringing your finger to his lips. His tongue swirled around the tip to taste the remaining dough on it before pulling back, nodding to himself.
“Good,” he says, going back to whatever he was doing.
You stared at him in disbelief, shocked at how unbothered he seemed by the recent exchange.
You weren’t sure if it was the heat pouring out of the oven clouding up your senses or the smudge of white cream that lingered on Scaramouche’s lips that was fueling the heat of your cheeks.
Before you could overthink it you came up behind him, hands on his waist as you turned him around to face you.
“What is it…?” he questions, trailing off as you pushed him until he was sitting atop the counter top, pushing aside items to make room for him.
“Oh?” he chuckles, tugging you in to settle between his legs, “Careful, not too loud.”
You reach over to tug him closer by the string of his hoodie, his lips on yours. He tasted like cream.
Scaramouche tasted sweet.
[ the gang finally arrives! ]
just playing the part !
masterlist — prev | next
hope the legs thing makes sense, he’s sitting on the countertop with his legs open and you’re in between them
xiaother did run off during the party to have some fun iykyk
albeven isn’t my fav ship but i think it’s cute 🤷 also i don’t want them to be single in the au lmfao
scarayn also get caught under the mistletoe
yn ended up on the floor scara pushed them off the bed during the night 😔 he made up for it by cooking them breakfast
synopsis: you and scaramouche are both drama majors and have been at each other’s throats vying for the same lead roles since high school. but when you’re both cast as each other’s love interest in your second year you’re forced to be civil with your academic rival and see him in a new light. are his feelings for you true or is he just playing the part?
author’s notes: yes that’s yeonjun in the ig pic 🙈 and there’s the haypasia comment u all wanted LMFAO
taglist-CLOSED: @monochromaticelliot @kaedear @stxrgxzxr @shirmxie @elakari @lacy-lady @linn-a-a @one-offmind @kithewanderingme @quepasoash @leathernourishingshoepolish @mangobee @lxry-chxn @dameofthorns @scarasaver @kythe1a @elysiasbae @hikaru-exe @tokkishouse @raiihoshii @cherrybeomgyu @kunikuzushiit @thenightsflower @lilneps @goodthingimsam @lovelyiez @euhla @beriiov @abvolat @kittycasie @b0bafl0wer @bubblyclouds @atlatcaheart @artssleepy @baelloraa @tartagli-yuh @satowaluverr @hangesextra @scaranaris-lil-niko @caffinatedcoma @wheneverthesunrise @hajimeseyo @itsyourgirlria @hyunrei @redactedhimbo @caliginous-skies @vinskyspuff @miissfortune @criminalinthemaking @scaramouches-girlfriend @scrmgf [1/3]
#genshin imagines#genshin impact au#genshin fluff#genshin impact#genshin au#genshin scaramouche#genshin smau#scaramouche x gender neutral reader#scaramouche x oc#scaramouche x reader#scaramouche x y/n#scaramouche x you#kunikuzushi smau#kunikuzushi x you#kunikuzushi x reader#kunikuzushi#just playing the part smau
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Plus u cud quite litrlly tell how enamored wildberry is by chip. Not even necessarily romantically. That guy fr is being 'this lil man is kinda neat actually' and buyz him food. "Sure, sure." He said, while smiling, looking at his impromptu comrade buy a toy dog. "I just don't like high places." He said again while smiling, as hes booking them both a table for 2 to eat together instead bc chip cudnt bring his wolf 2 the climb. Guyz.
#guys.#cookie run#cookie run kingdom#wildberry cookie#crunchy chip cookie#wildchip#guys. please.#''then i shall carry u both!'' HELLO! r u guys lgbt or something png
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Ahhh ty for unblocking mee, when i was new to tumblr i didnt rlly know how to search for stuff and one friend of mine showed me your page so i ended up reading prolly each thing you had here back then.. id taken a break from tumblr for few weeks or sm and when i came back, i cudnt find your profile but i assumed u left or sm😭✋🏼 anyway im glad to be backkk, so much writing to catch up on ehe <3
hello love 💕👼🏼 omg honestly i might‘ve blocked you because of spam liking back in the day BAJAJQJ💀 no but jokes aside, it‘s so fine i totally understand you on this, tumblr is very confusing at first i feel you, i‘m pretty sure i spam liked so much too back when i tried out the app for the very first days so you‘re all good to go !! it happens 🩷🫶🏻
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Ah right I thought it was you planning on writing the whole thing, that's OK then it just seemed like a lot of stress for just one person, not that u cudnt do it, I'm sure you cud 😂
Rest assured that when I see anything even remotely stressful I nope the fuck out lmao
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Lady in Whiskers & Slippers (Updated 11-19-23)
(Sling Set, 19. October)
Back in Cinci-Oh, I struggled to earn small wages doing odd jobs in my awkward teen years. At Human age 13, my limbs shot up like bamboo n my paws were whopee cusions, yet Im still kitten sized compared to Big Rhonda n Aunt Jane (Circene screwd my mom's genetics more than dad screwed her in the motel 6 pool that birthed me! srry TMI).
Two of my best gigs boiled to babysitting and the Cactus Joan Revue at Cincinnati Zoo.
Sure I liked pouncing thru loops made by my preternatural tail Slink n wranglin livestock by the petting zone in Aunt Jane's Cowgirl dress from her Paris,Texas Runway last spring when she toured w/Coco Banana, the sitting jobs fared better cuz I met some critters as odd as I am, like that pygmy hippo boss baby Benny and his growth formula down by Wall Street, or that shadeling Taz Devil Vincent from Brisbane, Australia. But my recent sitting gig had some skeletons I hadnt noticed til then, n it all came to my sitee Last July.
I took care of a literal cat lady and her litter of 35 for 3 wks in her rustic Rhode Island shack. Her name was Julie Phyllis. 30yrs ago, she was a former resi of Spooner Street with a handful of cats, plus a large tabby w/black stripes she calls Mistress Bengal acting as security for the few dogs that dare cross her sidewalk n lawn. Lately some rowdy kids spouted off tall tales of her becoming a cat herself or that Bengal would take her place if she wasn't fed well enough. Wutever the case, she had gradually gone from Crazy Ol Cat Lady to Crazy Ol Cat IRL 'round Halloween time. They hadnt figured what caused her transfur, say for some strange glowing plants by her yard. Her cats musta rubbed on the leaves which carried bits of Circene spores in'em, then she rubbed her face n hands on their fur, turning her to this light orange Tabby I saw my first week of Nana-sitting, or maybe Ms. Bengal had been Mobilized n took Phyllis' place. Like any bothersome pets in the suburbs, her neighbors had shooed them far out of town, living their next nine lives in that shack.
Few things to know bout my time w/Ms. Phyllis 2/3 weeks in:
1-Her signature clothes were a periwinkle bathrobe,small round glasses, n peach slippers in stockings. But as a Barban spinster housecat who could shift from anthro to feral at random, she rips her pantyhose clawing n stretching her toes apart when going full cat. Otherwise she's naked in both her Mobile and Wild stance sans a grey-blue collar on her neck with a tag reading "Bagel" whn goin out,wearin it as if she was that same cat that passed not too long ago. And I no shame luv it!
2-Her cats see her as Queen of the Litterbox given her girth from eating too much Meow Mix n cream, but I see a deluded fat-ass pussy, which is no different than other cats, playin round the scratch post, lappin that saucer of cream n tuna.
3-Litterbox stank n dander everywhere was unbearable
4-A pantry stocked full'o'tuna cans, milk & cream yet she forgets to feed them while gourging on the rations herself, chowing so much Meow mix like Trail Mix n guzzling gallons upon gallons of milk!
All that said, she wasnt a bad client, forgetful n piggy yes, but not awful, n still tho...I cudnt help but shake that we were kindred in some way, dark stripes n glasses aside. Few times we went Out to walk, Julie hung with her Golden Girls by a small pet friendly café, sharing gossip from the pets on Spooner street n out of state, comparing pills n claw lengths, wooing would-be mates at the Petsmart n VFW home. She was almost like family to me, rekindling our bonds after we havnt seen one another for a long time.
Near the end of week 2, I saw some frames of Phyllis with her 'tiger cat' Ms. Bengal almost one n the same at this point, even wearin the confounded collar with the wrong name Bagel. Another frame of that cat corners my eye, with a Persian and Siamese by her side, but she wore an enchanting Viper Green collar. Funny how they look a bit like my aunt n uncle on my mom's side, Muffin & Finch. Dad told me they had another tabby as a friend by name of Bagel, looking way too same-ish as Julie on that big orange Snick couch there by the TV set with all the other cats huddled over for daytime soaps or Price is Right like my inlaws did at the adoption center–
⚡️👓⚡️😳 Oh my...I blocked that thought out as a cub some point, not giving 2¢ about it, but it factors into my lineage with Ma when she left our lives. I was too bashful to blurt out my discovery in front of her cats lest they attack their False Queen in shock. Tho given her short-term memory loss, she wudnt hav known herself much post-TF. Was she Ms. Bengal or Julie Phyllis? TBC
#Joan’s Parck#blog#journal#housesitting#cat sitting#crazy old cat lady#cat tf#KND fanon#shadow monster#taz#lost family members#forgotten memories#family mystery
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TharnType เกลียดนักมาเป็นที่รักกันซะดีๆ | EP.4
#tharntype the series#tharn and type#tharntype#เกลียดนักมาเป็นที่รักกันซะดีๆ#lgbt#lgbtq#gay#gay couple#episode 4#gifs#// giffed this many times#probably even from this angle#but i cudnt be sure#so here it is again#who doesnt want a little more tharntype on their dashes?#lol#sorry#i miss them
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okay yeah hi so i was (am) a huge mess and I had (have) a lot going blah so i missed your reblog lost touch i swear i wasn't ghosting you hello hi so nice to have you back how are you
tee! (i admit i had i go thru ur blog to figure out who you were)
oh god no i didnt assume u were ghosting me or anything! i didnt even notice tbh I know you pretty much always have a lot going on and you dont have to be sorry for missing the reblog im sure it wasnt anything important babe. i for one definitely cannot hold people to disappearing on me when i too leave for weeks at a time. u take ur time to relax and rest and just let the emotions and shit have their way with you. but also i love you and im so touched u even noticed or thought i wud feel bad abt this. ur genuinely too good for me.
my life is weirdly fine rn. shitty days r there but like fanfiction, webtoons and yall keep me going. ill be going back to india soon so im only here for a while before i fuck off again. im planning on dyeing my hair tips purple so thats one thing.
I bought a bunch of books bc amazon.in sells books cheap. i wanted to buy tvd bc u love it but it was like 1000 smthing rupees and i can and have bought like 5 books with that much money.
i got to meet my nephew while i was there and omg he's so wonderful. he has this brilliant toothless smile and my poor heart cant handle it. my life is pretty managable except for the education front which is more drama than i can explain but the situations horrible rn. but alas nothing i can do anything abt.
its rly nice to be back lol! how are you??? tell me everything (if u want to) rant? last thing i remember before leaving was that u were stressed abt ur exams and school stuff so u took a break so i cudnt do the whole crying farewell thing with u.
this ended up being longer than i intended but like still. i love you. i missed you so much and pretty much thought of you every single time i saw TVD and OVE.
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Helloo hey hope you're doing good! Theres a jily fic that I read about 6 years back ig that is tbh one of my all time faves. Recently when I tried to find it tho, I just cudnt. It was on FFnet and had 4-5 chs. The name was smtg like a series of firsts and so basically had jilys first kiss, first date etc. Now Ik many similar exist but this particular one jilys first kiss was late at night in common from after she heard james and Sirius talking. Anyway I just had a sudden thought about whether you wrote it?! Or if uve come across it
Hi, anon! I'm doing good, can't wait for the weekend! Hope you're having a great week too. ❤
Unfortunately I'm not sure I know this fic, though it does sound familiar. Maybe one of my lovely followers can help out if they know this!
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hihihi hope ur doing good n that evryon here is doing good! drink watr n hav a snack ples if u havnt cuz u all mattr n ar important plese pease take care of urselves!
m relly relly hyper rn but also tired n small but not small small lik older than usual but still small fel kidna rely bad lied to frend cuz i talkd to him n he got woried cuz he dosnt no i get small n i said m just tired. lied n liing bad n m bad but i don wanna be bad i wanna be gud but i cudnt m sorry trid to be gud :( -🦊 fox anon
Hello friend! I hope you had a nice little time, and if you’re still regressed, I hope everything is well! And you’re right, everyone here DOES matter and you SHOULD all be taking care of yourselves!
And while it’s true that lying can be immoral, it’s not wrong to lie to keep yourself safe. If you’re not ready to tell your friend about your regression, it’s okay to tell him that you’re acting different for different reason. I’m sure that he’d understand!
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final verdict (obvi all of the eps were fantastic but my rankings are):
phantom apprentice > old friends not forgotten > shattered > victory and death
explanation and spoilers under the cut
victory and death was just SO sad i dont think ill ever b able to rewatch it. that doesnt make it worse, obviously, but i just caaaaaant like physically cant deal. its too sad. im glad it was sad! i love when media makes me cry. the episode ended and i just fuckin broke down and sobbed for like half an hour. like.... dave cudve given us some happy? or a sliver of hope. maybe if we didnt KNOW that rex and ahsoka were going to survive then the fact that they survived would have been hopeful but since we already KNEW.... idk. just the fact that her WHOLE battalion died is too sad. i guess like. darth maul got a happy ending. even in revenge of the sith it was like “anakins kids are a new hope!” but here we got NONE of that. it kind of had to be like that i guess. anakin being vader was set in stone since 1980. but like... cmon dave. u cudve changed it. we wudntve been mad. it was also just really short, and im sure that wont be an issue when i watch this arc all together as a movie, but it was just SUPER short. maybe this one will move up in my list after i’ve had some time to process it all.
shattered was also really good. my my new favorite thing ever is ahsoka and maul’s interaction bcuz that was comedy GOLD. i liked that at least ahsoka knew WHY the clones turned on her, which is guess makes it a little happier bcuz the rest of the jedi like obi-wan still have no idea what happened. ugh it was still a lot tho. liked her last convo with bo and with the jedi council. and ahsoka and maul’s vision of anakin was rly cool. i think my biggest issue (which is not even that huge of an issue) with these last 2 eps is that if felt pretty claustrophobic and monotonous bcuz it was mostly set on this one ship.
old friends not forgotten was basically perfect. i think anakin and ahsokas reuinion was done really well, though i still wished they had hugged. :(. the opening with anakin and obi-wan when i first watched the episode didn’t really resonate with me but now, knowing that that’s essentially ALL we get of them in this whole arc, im really really that thats there and i like it a whole lot more now. ugh i miss them. its so sad. ahsokas argument with obi-wan was also really good. i like how you can take either side because theyre both sort of right and sort of wrong. the action sequence with ahsoka landing on mandalore is, i still think so, the BEST action sequence in all of star wars. im so proud of my girl. perfect way to start the last arc of the show and remind us of everything we are about to lose. it ties into revenge of the sith really well, i think even better than these other ones. the fact that we KNOW what’s going to happen to these characters is what makes this episode, especially because that knowledge is kind of a hindrance to the other episodes in this arc.
phantom apprentice is literally a perfect episode. there is so much to love about this. it is actually PEAK star wars. like this is the best its gonna get. why cudnt the sequels be this good? also... none of it was set on a ship which was nice. theres really nothing i dislike about this episode so ill just talk about everything that was great about it. the set pieces were beautiful, highlighted by the gorgeous animation, the fight choreography was amazing and it really felt like it was 2 real people (which is was) who KNEW what they were doing and were actually trying to kill each other, again, every interaction with ahsoka and maul was perfect, they really made his character SO interesting by making him like... right? about everything. like he actually wanted to save the galaxy, thats really interesting. ahsoka SHOULD have joined him but thats the whole point. she has too much faith in anakin. on that note, i loved how much they talked about anakin. I loved ahsoka’s conversation with obi-wan this one also is really good at tying in with revenge of the sith, and showing how these stories happen simultaneously. the other good thing about this is that we DONT know what happens at all. in the other episodes we at least have an IDEA of whats going to happen, but ahsoka and mauls story here is completely new. this is all new information. there was even a bit of politics in there with bo and ahsoka about the siege. but ya overall id say maul is what makes this episode so incredible. he’s just great in this one. im so glad this episode exists because now i can definitively say that i have a favorite clone wars episode.
conclusion: i just wish i couldve gotten into a show that has a happy ending. why does the ONE series that im so in love with have the saddest ending possible??? i really hate to think about this but.... this series might have just been better with a happy ending. it may have been more fun to see our faves overcome all of these obstacles, even if it was hard. obvi the jedi order would have to go through some reforms, but if the series had ended with at least anakin, ahsoka, padme, obi-wan, rex, and the clones being TOGETHER, that may have actually been better than a tragic ending. i think anakin and ahsoka’s relationship is really the heart of this series, and what reeeaaally hits is them both thinking the other is dead at the end of this series, only to meet later as enemies. it’s just so sad. dave, what do you have to say for yourself?
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But i hope ud thank ur yunger self 4 pulling thru so u cn nw write amazing stories🥺♥️ahh thank u fr saying tht😖💘everytime i read ur replies they alws lift my mood fr the day!!enjoying is an interesting word fr it HAHAH its hard work but cat im seeing results n its just been 2 weeks!! N i ws losing shape due to iso...hope ud power thru ur work stuff i kno u wud ur so capable!🌷hope u wont overwhelm urself in tryna do everything @ once n exercise wenever u can!💘💘 (1/?)
Im sucha night owl omg i cudnt exercise earlier evn if i tried😂😂thank u love! Its on this coming tuesday:) yay happy 2 hear tht ur off 2 a good start this weekend n balancing ur work life w ur own time💘💘 Also finally figured out hw to msg u longer LOL in the past i legit felt like i had to fit in all my feels 4 u within such a constricted space just hoping tumblr wont cut it😖🙏🏻u did mention u baked bread w ur mom! Wat kinda bread was it?? Id ask 4 bun pics but 👀 r u open 2 tht (2/2)
✿ ✿ ✿
oh, for sure!! i’m super grateful that my younger self didn’t give up on writing, especially since my current career path has nothing to do with creativity or writing, so it’s really nice to have a small space for that here 💓 and oh my gosh?? 🥺🥺 seeing your messages make my day brighter, too!!! ☀️ sjhflskfha you’re right, exercise is not very enjoyable, but that satisfied feeling after a good workout is amazing 🤧 and omg that’s amazing!!!! i’ve heard so many good things about her workout routines, so it’s super awesome to hear that you get great results in two weeks :o i feel that though 😭 quarantine made me lazier, so i have to force myself to do more exercise than usual since i’m just lounging around in bed and doing nothing rip and thank you so so much, angel 🥺💗💗
what a mood!!! i live during the night, like i don’t get how people can get up at 6 am to go for a run 😭 i’d be fumbling around and tripping while half asleep 😅 omg only two more days!!! will you be celebrating with family or friends over a facetime session or do a little social distancing gathering? 💞 and thank you so much!!! 💖 omg tumblr’s word limit is seriously so annoying akjshdfkasd if you would like, i can also dm you so there would be no limit and tumblr won’t be a meanie and cut off your asks 🤧 or you can send in asks!! i’m comfy with either method 💞 i made brioche bread with my mom!! i would put a pic, but i forgot to take a picture of it 😭 we got so excited when it came out nicely and just cut right into it and ate it with some butter immediately LOL
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This is such a great idea for a reylo story I have always been so curious . My story starts with TFA tbh the moment he carried her it struck me but I cudnt explain and it was only solidified by the next scene . After tht I took to a03 it was small and growing then and from there I was inspired by several of my fav reylo authors to join tumblr and I nvr looked back not regretted it since. I have made so many friends because and through reylo now . I think I joined in late 2015 early 2016
This is so good!! Yes, ao3 helped a lot of stay glued to the ship, and to tumblr, for sure. 💜
Thank you for your story!! ✨
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Salvation
I know its gonna be cliched now, but u said only I can make u happy.
I couldn't figure a better way to do it.
We have been through a lot, i know ever since we got hitched we started falling apart. But funnily, I wanted exact opposite. Even then, i sensed that we are having a rough time and i was scared i would loose you.
I wanted to bind you with me. so i proposed you.
No. this wasn’t a decision to get something off me. I wanted it .. I needed you for life. It was my way of offering myself to you.
and i wanted you to be assured.
And believe me, wen i say i have decided on you, i speak the truth. That night I have given up myself to you. Offered my soul and no matter what i do now, i cant have it back. I don’t want to have it back..
Also, i never told you, but i wanted that wedding, I wanted that naked picture to make sure that we have ruined ourselves together and none of us can ever take back what we did together. and i want you to hold on to that picture forever. I want you to have that power over me. Its weird i know. cant express this better.
Anyway, I am telling you this just to make you realize that i am not gonna go anywhere without u.
I know I am blabbering, I don’t know what to say, how to make it right with you.
I miss you.
Memories of that night is so fresh with me. It was the most special night together. Our FIRST night.
Remember we had planned so much for it. I was so so excited. We talked about holding on before the ceremony. But ofcorse, we cudnt. And that i feel defines us. That we can even get married stark naked, and I felt so damn happy we did it that way. I would like to believe you dnt regret doing that. (if so, lets get married again, this time in clothes)
You had given me the most sweetest proposals in the world. I remember evry single page of it. and Thank You for it ..
I dont know if u did, but i vowed myself to u, with evry thrust i gave into you i have given up my entire being with each of them. I remember each time we made love, I felt happy, I felt we are finally complete together.
I am incomplete without you. I have always been, always will be.
Standing in the corridor today, I was so frustrated, desperate to make you realize that I m the same person, that i still love you. Nothing had made me more sad in my life but to realize that the woman for whom i can get the moon if she asks for it, isnt happy with me, that my action has scarred the most cherished day of her life.
I really dont know, what to do. I just hope my undying love would be enough to salvage. I know even i have said too many things to you, but i need your forgiveness ur love to survive this life. I am obsessed for your love.
I can give my life for you.
I promise on my soul that I would be the man you want.
I would always be a beggar to you. Begging for your love.
I know we are at our bottom, but I want us to be on Top again. I want us back at our best.
PS: HAPPY BIRTHDAY to...
My love, my life, my wife, my bff, my support, my soulmate.
May you have everything in life. God is my witness when i say I want the best for you, the very best. Not even me should ever come in between you and happiness.
I Love you.. forever and ever. And nothing is world would ever be complete without you.
Enjoy this eve... freak out this day... coz its urs.. n that’s an order from your husband. LOL
Signing off
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Itss okayy to just drown in misery for a while a while ago i created a presentation for project work 25 slides something n then deleted it away like in a click(obviouslyyy) n tbh i was so shocked i cudnt even comprehend wht happened for a gud 15 mins n legit shut it off n went to sleep n im sure many other ppl relate too JUST RELAX RIGHT NOW! if u wanna talk uk im always here thru asks(might be a lil inconvenient but nonetheless ill be there)-The Yelling Anon
SERIOUSLY IT SUCKS SO MUCH OMFG, it’s been hours and I am still fucking pISsed and also very drunk cause your bitch opened a bottle of wiNE AHJAJAJA 😩😩😩
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COURAGE IS CALLING !!!
It's my second cycle of chemotherapy, and after a month of my diagnosis, it's the first time some negative thoughts or you can say practical thoughts about relapsing came to me.
Since my diagnosis, not a single day went where I dint enjoy, or was any less grateful about the smallest of the things in life. I had never been so conscious about the thoughts coming to me and made sure they were always filled with hope, victory, kindness and compassion.
When every strand of my hair fell , leaving me with just 10 percent of it, in 20 days post the first therapy, I was devastated, but I never let those feelings sink in. I consciously let go of every negativity and ill feelings along with the hair, that's when you know , you are at the feet of courage and you need to stand up straight.
I have been so proud about myself , for the way I handled my mindset during the weakest of the days with all the chemo drugs leaving me nauseated and in pain, with no energy to move. I was conscious throughout. Always positive, but today .
Today the doctor said, that we will need 8 cycles and not 6, so the treatment time increases,but I have been calculating every single day that passed. He also said the relapse chances are 15 percent, to my knowledge he said they will not be more than 5 to 10 percent , but these 5 extra percent did sink in me . He also said that after my treatment, my hair will not grow back for atleast 3 months, and after all the Google research, I had made up my mind, that after 2 weeks of the last cycle, it surely will get back to normal..so ...bad news ...not as bad, but my mind did unnecessarily poke it's nose amidst the physical turmoil. I was dancing since morning with the words, 2 down,4 more to go,but when it became 6 more, the finish line seemed far.
I almost was choked and could not understand but wanted to tell my husband , that listen we need to plan everything for my son, for if life gets unfortunate again ...
And just coincidently, I tell my husband to get a book I had ordered 2 months ago, but cudnt read amidst the hospital visits and the scans,managing my 22 month old son and lifting my spirits high...I have not started to read the book yet, but it gave me what I wanted at the perfect timing, gave me a sign that my mindset was on the right path and it's going to keep taking tests and trick me every while to check my will power.
And yes, I came out stronger, this time not with the smiles and the answers, but to have these learnings with me for life ...a much more thoughtful awareness.
I opened the book to read the foreword," Let us not wait for other people to come to us and call upon us to do great deeds. Let us instead be the first to summon the rest to the path of honor. Show yourself to be the bravest of all the captain's,with more of a right to leadership than those who are leaders at present."
And I dint realise , but I always wanted to write, and after 5 years , lost in the daily routine, I did find my calling and here I am , writing my first blog. And isn't this a very very big achievement.Hell, yes !!!!
The title of the book says, ' COURAGE IS CALLING',by RYAN HOLIDAY.
#Prikibaat
#motivational#cancersurvivor#writing inspiration#self help#self healing#grateful#meditation#beautifullife#happylife#conscious living#healthy eating#writing#books#spilled thoughts#musings
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