Tumgik
#but even if i did ik for a fact that i wouldnt get that many hours.. sigh
nomaishuttle · 1 year
Text
justt realized that th site i ws using t figure out my salary assumed id be working 56 hours a week when in reality i usually work likee 15 hours a week max . im gonna throw up Lol Lol Lol
#idk how on earth id get that many hours And also if i had that many hours id kill my shellfish#its still gonna be a fine amt of money ill make rent nd everything but im gonna have a lot less t put into savings#im so fuckin stupid idk why i didnt check how many hours itd be. ughhh#bc like. i need at least 2 days off a week for appts + my sanity#preferably itd be 3 days a week off but. sigh#so if im working 5 days of th week and im doing..lets say 50 hours a week thats 10 hours a day thats 20 rooms a day. lmao. lmao#even if i only take 1 day off which i quite literally cannot do thats 8.3 hours a day#which is. more doable but thats still like. 16 rooms? which has only happened to me like..once#th one time i worked 9 hours i genuinely intended to kms abt it. bc i ws in so much pain#n my pains gotten a lot better now but i still dont think i cn do that. Agghhh aghhhh#n if i do th starbucks job. well 1 if i ws in customer service id kms. i hate talking to ppl my hearing is too bad for it i cannot do it#but even if i did ik for a fact that i wouldnt get that many hours.. sigh#whatevr. frows up#ok. doing th math it shouldnt be that bad it will literallly be ok. i just need t calm down#most days at my current place are 3-5 hours#n idk how long theyll be at th new place but i assume theyll be similar..#but. that wuld have me making anywhere from 1002-1670 a month#which is good . rent is 380.. so i should be making likee. anywhere from 2.5 times rent to a little bit more than quadruple rent... both r#good. bc then i cn put abt 300-500 in savings each week and have some left over... okokok#calming down now . smile
1 note · View note
queenie-blackthorn · 7 months
Note
HI HI HI long ask incoming :,,DD
so i have a transmasc muslim character from Malaysia, and i was wondering what the biggest no-no’s are when it comes to writing their transition? and, also, what is it like being a queer muslim in general?
being a queer and trans asian i understand enough (personal experience lol) but i was raised (unfortunately) in a predominantly catholic country that has a LOT of misinformation abt muslims. which sucks. i vaguely know that removing one’s hijab is a very delicate, sensitive thing to do. but what happens when the person no longer identifies as a woman, and wishes to present masculinely? or heck, even present a bit femininely, but still choose to identify as a man? how would a trans muslim go about presenting the way they want to, in the theoretical situation that they’re in a safe enough environment to do so?
hii <333 i want to clarify beforehand that this is a VERY sensitive issue, esp among muslims. cause us as muslims have faced enough misrepresentation as is, and some (i promise not me) may consider it insulting and misrepresentative for a queer muslim to exist (as if they dont already). just, be wary when approaching this subject
now, the issue here is that trans muslims are an EXTREME minority, and i mean extreme. not many people transition and still call themselves muslim. they either renounce islam, or hide their identities for the sake of safety. islam resembles christianity in a way—queerness is a big no-no. HOWEVER, in islam its not haram to BE these things, its haram to act like it (specifically, acting like the opposite gender. dressing like them, who you get married to, etc)
you have to be v delicate, since most ppl would not accept a trans muslim character (i say most bc there are ppl who wouldnt mind, but society as a whole generally would in fact mind)
you almost never see women decide to take off their hijab bc they dont identify as a woman. removing the hijab is taboo enough in muslim culture, but doing that due to not identifying as a woman anymore? BIG no-no
if, theoretically, theyre in an environment safe enough to do so, they still may find ppl unfriending them bc of it, or tryna convince them not to do so for their own safety
HOWEVER, i do have genderqueer friends irl who are still muslim, all of them afab. im gonna use two of them as an example (keep in mind we do live in a transphobic/homophobic society)
the first one (genderfluid but goes w any pronouns) was a hijabi before they stopped identifying as a woman, and they still wear a hijab. however, they do wear chest binders and more masculine style of clothing (e.g. no skirts). they still cover their awrah (the part of a muslim that should be covered. for men its from the navel to below the knees, for women its everywhere except the face and hands), but theyve become a lil more careless w the hijab (like wearing it looser)
the second one (he/they) isnt a hijabi, and they still have long hair. however, he also wears a chest binder, but still likes makeup and things like that. ik less abt this one cause we arent as close as me n the first friend, but thats what ik
and i also mentioned the awrah. keep in mind that men have a hijab too, just a different kind. "hijab" just means covering, n both genders have to cover personal parts. so your character may stop wearing a headscarf, but they still have to wear longer shorts n grow out a beard (and yes, growing out your beard is a must for men in islam. according to most scholars anyway, since the prophet pbuh did it)
if your character was previously a hijabi, you might make him more careless w the hijab (showing more n more hair until he eventually renounces it completely) n start wearing more t-shirts w jeans and things like that (search up "grunge hijab" n youll see what i mean)
it IS better to make a trans non-muslim in a muslim society, considering a lotttttt of muslims might find it offensive if theres a trans muslim, but obv i have no say in your character and in the end its entirely your choice <33 just be aware that its kinda like stepping on broken glass here
37 notes · View notes
konesamotaon · 9 months
Note
Can I know more about your TMA oc?
Please they look cool
:}
𖦹 OMG ABSOLUTELY 𖦹
so hes actually more of a self insert, named Enoch. hes an avatar of the spiral. hes around 26 years old, he doesnt really have a grasp on time anymore, so hes not that sure.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
statement, simplified (ik this already seems long but im planning on writing an even more detailed, statement-style version later! ^^)
𖦹𖦹𖦹
cw: claustrophobia, elevatophobia, descriptions of wounds, panic attacks
also spoilers at the end for MAG158 onwards >_<
𖦹𖦹𖦹
the lift wouldnt stop,
emergency stop button did nothing,
panic set in,
lift started to tilt,
he tumbled on the mirror,
bottom tooth knocked out,
scars on his face, neck, arms,
lift still rotating,
doors now directly below him,
still going up,
he began pounding his body on the doors,
doors bending and denting,
his body about to give out,
but hes determined,
and the lift spat him out,
angled drop to the hallway floor,
he cant quite gather himself,
but is on the right floor though,
he opened his apartment door,
didnt recognice himself in the mirrors,
and didnt hate it.
later discovered a hunger,
he could now control the lifts,
warp how they moved,
where they moved,
he took advantage of this,
lured people in,
asking them to hold the doors,
placing "out of order" signs as he walked in,
hed chat with the passangers,
and they wouldnt notice the lift not stopping,
when they did and began to panic,
he would become a reflection,
no longer physical,
only in the mirrors,
and he fed on their terror.
he had heard of the institute,
and knew that they would know,
theyd know what happened to him,
who he had become,
what he had become,
he didnt want it to stop,
but he was still curious,
he wanted awnsers,
walking in to the building,
delighted to see lifts,
he hopped on,
he felt watched,
but safe,
walking to a desk,
he went to give his statement,
the man talking to him,
calling himself head archivist,
said it had to be recorded on tape,
reluctantly he agreed,
disliking the man he gave a statement to,
he had too many eyes,
even if he couldnt see them,
he felt them all around,
pushing him,
and he told his story.
later in the week,
he came back to the institute,
during his first visit,
he noticed the distrust in the air,
and it made him hungry,
people in the institue were wary,
easy targets,
he fed on some,
maybe three in the next month,
statement givers,
someone from the library,
on their lunch break.
he was watching the archivist,
waiting for him to come close,
but he seemed to sense something,
he avoided the lifts,
despite sometimes clearly needing them,
eventually the achivist gave away,
maybe forgetting his paranoia,
probably not by his own choice,
he stepped in the lift,
doors closing,
it appeared in the mirror,
hazy at first,
then adjusting to physicality,
the archivist dropped his things,
stacks of files and loose papers,
it talked to him calmly,
asking about his day,
how his research was going,
recognicing him,
the archivist started to speak,
words dying on his tongue,
the lift stopped,
doors opened,
and he hurriedly stepped out,
it stared at him in confusion,
not having told the lift to stop,
let alone let him go,
yet here enoch was,
alone in its lift,
somehow stuck to it.
so hes now bound to the institute lifts by the hand of jurgen leitner, and the seven lamps of architechture by john ruskin. i imagine this all took place somewhere around or between season 1 and 2. he lurks in the lifts until MAG158, as peter lukas releases the notthem from the tunnels, he is freed as well. its unclear if he survives when the eyepocalypse starts. before MAG158, he decides to get to know some of the staff a litte better. mainly martin, who was off doing research at the time of the incident and therefor didnt know what had happened, and elias, who made it very clear he wasnt threatened by him, quite the opposite, in fact. (*cough* they might fuck) jon doesnt trust him at any point, and only goes in the lifts on the days his joint pain is at its worst, and if hes accompanied by martin. on those occations, enoch leaves them alone. melanie also still uses the lifts, but refuses to get to know him. he leaves her alone, most of the time. the others dont use the lifts. the one-off statement givers, researchers, and other people who werent aware of him end up disappearing..
i have so many head canons and ideas for himm
i am so very autism about tma <3
19 notes · View notes
alittlefrenchtree · 6 months
Note
I have just finished the first three books of ike the Dune saga and I really hope we get to see both Messiah and Children of Dune made into movies as well! It wouldnt be right to end Paul’s story at the end of Messiah and it would be so interesting to see Timmy play a character like the Preacher.
Honestly having read the first three books now I feel like this should have been made into a tv show a la GOT. It so hard to give justice to the world order in that universe with just four movies. What are your thoughts on this?
Ooh a Dune ask, it's been so long, it makes me very happy to read (and answer to) it! Thank you for sending it 💜
About the tv show idea first because it's the easiest to answer to: yes, absolutely. My favorite thing about Dune (Paul aside) it's the universe itself because it's so vast and so rich, it could literally be developed forever. That being said, firstly, it would have cost SO MUCH money but I guess with the way tv shows are made now, with expanded budget, it would be ok. The only thing is about the screen. Dune should be watched on a theater screen and nowhere else. I did a rewatch of Dune not so long ago on my very average tv screen and idk the movie makes half less sense? Like Denis said, like a liner in a bathtub. A tv show would have made the theater thing hard to achieve.
Back to the books. I'm not sure to what lengths I agree with you. About the Messiah -- absolutely. I loved the book, maybe even more than the first? I actually thought that it could be a decent end for Paul's character. It does take off a part of the character's story and I get where you come from, but based on the fact that Denis said he wasn't sure he'd go further than the Messiah, I was like *ok, i can see how it could work*
The Children of Dune... There are things about it I like a lot, the Preacher being one of them of course, some parts of Alia being another one of them but there are also many other things that completely lost me? And some I wasn't a big fan of, even if I kind specify them, since my memory sucks. So I'm not sure. Maybe with big rewriting to make it cinema friendly, I could see it? Either way, The Preacher would 100% be an interesting character to watch.
You didn't ask but I'm (still) (it's been 6 months really) currently in the middle of the next book after that. The Emperor-God whatever and I'm still not sure why i keep reading. At this point, it's just me and my love for the universe and my curiosity about what it could go. (that and the books being really pretty to own).
Thanks again for stopping by to chat with me 😘
0 notes
softbinu · 4 years
Text
We were up against mamamoo for Mcountdown and sadly lost but i think we deserve a pat on the back for even getting second place!! Like this is the first time we achieved such a high ranking on such a big platform such as mcountdown and IM SO PROUD OF US
33 notes · View notes
makiema · 3 years
Text
finally finished writing about how much stormbringer enhances the skk dynamic which was at a nascent stage in Fifteen and anticipates the developments which happen later and culminate in Dead Apple where the faith they have in each other is absolutely remarkable! the fact that i said i’d do this in a few hours yesterday but it took me like 24 hrs to finish i have an attention span of a whole 2 minutes 💀
my favorite thing about stormbringer is that it actually builds up on the concepts/themes introduced in Fifteen so it's a glimpse into what has changed in dazai and dazai & dhuuya after one year of being together. As much as it's about chuuya confronting his past and his identity this is also about dazai’s development from who he was in fifteen. chuuya and rimbaud both left their marks on dazai and in Stormbringer we see him, actually trying to emulate or follow in a sense a way of life, that chuuya and rimbaud represented. Stormbringer is not just about chuuya, abt his test of humanity, or he coming in terms with who or what he is. it's about dazai too. it's about dazai developing or at least attempting to develop what he calls “boyish”/ “ordinary” in Fifteen. its not about chuya having an identity crisis. in fact what we understand from Code 04's last section is that chuuya never considered it as his crisis and neither did dazai. so to dazai “saving chuuya is important, human or not doesn't matter” and when dazai gives chuuya time to think abt what the operation will cost him chuuya doesnt so much as flinch form his purpose. This goes on to show unlike verlaine he doesnt care about memory and certainly doesnt consider it as the only determinant of someone being human. He cares more abt yokohama and his friends and in that, in caring abt his “family”, he is just as human as the next person. whether he’s factually human or not comes secondary to his desire to save people. This is a message that the quality of being human has more to do with embodying human qualities or humanity than having memories and lineage. so yeah stormbringer is essentially about embracing humanity but this happens on 2 levels: both chuuya and dazai embrace humanity. Going back to the boyish or ordinary bit, im talking abt this segment:
Tumblr media
here dazai is shocked because he assumed everyone “gangsta” and everyone crazy powerful delighted in homicide, in deliberately indulging in the macabre. but he is proved wrong. He logically concluded that anyone with power more than average and belonging to the underground would kill people and delight in that because it’s a given they lack any kind of moral understanding. To that end, they’d be exalted at the prospect of relentlessly shooting a dead body, mutilating it and dishonoring it. The mafia code (any general mafia code) works in a way where honor and death goes hand in hand. So only the lowest of the low would do that to a dying person, who even when faced with certain death is loyal to his own organisation. This really shows that even within the mafia dazai is the only person whos like the devil incarnate. So yeah dazai at this sate far lower than even a mafia member. But chuuya who actually embodiess the mafia code and is incredibly loyal to his organisation and “family” [ putting family in quotes bc he himself calls his friends family 🥺] ofc kicks the gun away. From dazai’s pov chuuya being as insanely powerful as he is should also do the same. But chuuya comes along and suggests that even enemies should be shown respect where it’s due. And that is what an ordinary person, oblivious to mafia life (mafia life as in waht dazai makes of it) thinks. So in undermining the binary between “ordinary” and “mafia” chuuya proves that being mafia doesnt necessarily mean selling your soul to the devil and giving up the last smidge of humanity. In fact by embodying qualities like compassion and kindness and mutual respect, you can make the mafia a better place for yourself and for the other members. Now in Stormbringer, we see how this affected dazai. here dazai is introduced as someone mercilessly killing to set up the channel. 
Tumblr media
Now to expand the channel one would need to keep doing it right? To mercilessly kill ppl and stuff but instead what he does is hand the channel over to chuuya bc he knows chuuya wouldnt handle it like him. im not suggesting that dazai miraculously becomes v good or anything with dazai the key words is “try” or “to some extent” like in Fifteen when Chuuya asks “do u wanna live” he’s like “ not to that extent”. similarly its not to say he doesnt kill people anymore. it is that he tries to lessen the number of casualties by handing over one of the most troublesome channels to chuuya who would manage it in a much more humane way. That dazai draws from his friends/at least tries to is smth we’ll see again later on when he deals with akutagawa. He talks about odasaku and ofc its baffling to him that a mafia member as powerful as him would be taking acre of orphans. and dazai says but he cant afford to be that kind and proceeds to shoot akutagswa but again does so in a calculated way such that he doesnt end up killing him ( im NOT justifying dazai’s abuse not at all im just saying that its hard to believe he coincidentally knew the exact no of bullets that aku could block. and had odasaku’s words and his way of life not been in the back of his mind he could’ve ended up killing aku) coming back to chuuya and dazai we also see him avoiding further conversation on the jewelry channel thing as he says “leave that for now”. He does a similar thing again when mori brings up the concept of double suiciding with chuuya.
Tumblr media
 Its a HUGE thing for him to digest that him suiciding would inevitably spell the doom for chuuya. this puts an unimaginable responsibility on him. And he avoids further discussion on this. Now we know dazai is the rambly type. Even in the most dire moments he goe son with his LOONG monologues so really he is the last person who’d avoid a conversation but he deliberately does it in these 2 instances because its hard for him to grasp these things. That he can go against his nature and do a conscientious thing by handing over one of the most grisly channels to chuuya (i dont think dazai’s nature is evil. Or even if it is, its a a social construct keeping in mind the war ravaged times or its mori’s construct because he does exploit dazai to the hilt. but dazai ofc thinks of himself as non-human, devious. perfectly devilish...etc.) And also the fact that someone as suicidal as him is actually responsible for the life of someone else is really too much to take in. a whole 10 seconds pause indicates just how much he was thrown off when mori opened his eyes to the reality of things: if he dies, chuuya inexorably dies as a consequence. also i dont think the “wow” here or the next bit :
Tumblr media
is something jokey. if it was like haha double suicide with chuuya is the worst haha wanna do it w pretty lady kind of a deal. that pause would have been unnecessary. dazai’s immediate reaction would’ve been whining and shit. the use of “froze” too implies the gravity of the situation. so ofc what is “wow” is how much meaning his life has for someone else. and for some so much....better than him. and what is unacceptable is this sad, sad truth that his life (to which he ascribes no value) would be so inextricably linked with someone else’s and hold so much meaning to them. it is like when a suicidal person at the brink of suicide understanding his life is not his own. his life and death holds consequences for ppl surrounding him. so both of these are huge things to grasp and at both these times dazai is visibly shaken up so much so that he doesnt want to do his favorite thing- ramble in a condescending tone. smth he does in so many instances. this really is a testimony to the fact that things are changing in him. the redemption process has begun. he’s no longer the kind of maniac he was before he encountered chuuya. when zuko underwent his transition in atla he was so shaken up after one (1) right decision he had a fever. i think this is true for anyone who’s trying to change. change is after all a huge thing for everyone. ofc he’ll be unsettled. so anyways this is proof that he has indeed come a long way from being someone who revelled at the prospect of meaningless bloodshed.
now coming to the concept of love he assumes he’d get sick of love and die:
Tumblr media
and that death is the singular goal worth chasing after because it makes you feel more alive/get a fuller picture of what living entails. but here he is erring by supposing love is something that’ll bore him/have no meaning. and it cant provide him that “something” he’s looking for. at this point he hasn’t loved so he doesnt know whether he’ll be sick of it or if it'll have no impact. And yet he’s morose and regretful. this is a kind of self-imposed constraint hes putting on himself. he cancels out the v idea of love because hes convinced it isnt worth it. he hasnt even been in love okay scratch being in love that sounds romantic and i really dont mean love in a romantic sense here...its just love. in general. any form is cool. anyway so dazai is not familiar with any kind of love. He is entirely alien to the concept. he doesnt even know what a friend/partner is so he doesnt know what love is. this is cleared out here when rimbaud confesses he did everything for paul and dazai is unconvinced:
Tumblr media
chuuya ofc admonishes him and shuts him up for good, he says dazai has no right lookind down upon smth he doesnt understand. he doesnt understand friendship, love. or loyalty. or how important those feelings are at this point. now this situation is turned on its head in stormbringer. but before we go into that let’s look at the message rimbaud had for both of them. ik he specifically asks for chuuya to “live” but there’s purpose behind including both of them in the frame. it’s a message they should both take to heart. and at the end of it its implied both are changed after hearing it:
Tumblr media
and in this message the first bit is for chuuya. what he says is basically memory doesn’t make u human... ”you are you” just a frame or not doesnt matter. and even if hes just a frame, he is still beautiful. beauty actually is a v important concept in literature starting right from Plato to Shakespeare. i’d not bring this here but because bsd is so deeply rooted in literature i feel like the reference to beauty, and later on to soul and even warmth and also the universal tone of this message carries some meaning. so the thing is  both Plato and Shakespeare were endorsed the idea of love as a force awakened in the world by beauty which then leads the soul to perfection. so humans and by extension, all life are beautiful frames that can inspire love. this concept is also there in Romantic poetry like Keats and Wordsworth all of them talked about loving beauty in nature and how that can elevate the body mind and soul. so essentially in telling this to chuuya what ehe basically means is that chuuya just by being him, by being a beautiful framework can inspire love and warmth in others and thats a great purpose! how much chuuya understands of this purpose with his one (1) braincell and his low self esteem is questionable but he gets some sense of belonging. now this is a two way relationship so ofc dazai has to be factored in. he comes in the next part: 
Tumblr media Tumblr media
these are from 2 different translation so the disparity im sorry ;-; but anyway,  this last part abt the world being a cold place. then paul. then “warmth” is a message to dazai who’s been introduced to us as cold-hearted and having like no bearings of a human being. this is the reason why its important for both o f them to be there. now going back to chuuya being a beautiful framework, the framework can be beautiful in so far as its beauty is appreciate by someone and inspires warmth and love in someone. this again is the whole beauty/beholder nature/the romantic concept that is there in shakespeare and in Romantic poetry where both are a part of a codependent relationship. so what rimbaud implies here is that dazai can have that kind of a relationship with another person (chuuya) just like rimbaud had with paul which makes him warm and the world doesnt feel cold anymore. rimbaud has no regrets about what he did because. so the idea is that dazai and chuuya can share the same dynamic. also after this, the narrative says that their hearts are now changed and wont return to what they were before....and even their souls are refined in a way. but in Fifteen we dont have a concrete proof of how this happened bc the novel ends at this point. Instead, Stormbringer shows exactly how deep the impact of those words is: 
Tumblr media
this is the third instance of dazai showing hesitation and once again this has to do with chuuya. the seed of the dynamic that rimbaud was talking about  is already germinating in him. his reactions, his fidgeting, his hesitancy, in response to chuuya’s situation is such a big contrast to his cocksure self when he’s conversing with adam and verlaine. after this of course we have: 
Tumblr media
not only does he clearly express his concern but he gives chuuya 2 whole mins to make a decision and based on that he’s prepared to overturn the operation. the success rate of an alternative plan will ofc be lesser than the og one but that doesnt faze dazai. he’s ready to turn the tide for chuuya’s sake and if this is not development idk what is. just a year ago, he was someone to whom the concept of rimbaud going thru all that trouble for his friend was a lost concept. ironically enough, now he finds himself doing something that is along the same lines. he puts chuuya above his mission. to him, chuuya is more important than getting a satisfactory result. another bit that i wanna talk abt is that one controversial section where dazai says he’ll save chuuya, human or not, and then the justification is: 
Tumblr media
i think a lot of people got mad bc of this and honestly at first glance i was peeved too. as a chuuya stan some of the shit dazai has done so far did rub me the wrong way. i love skk obv but still those were moments that kind of left a bad taste in the mouth. i’ll discuss them later on bc stormbringer helps allay that feeling. coming back to the “i wanna see chuuya suffer” part firstly context is important. ofc someone like dazai cant be expected to be upfront about his feelings with ppl (or AI) he barely knows. so what be relays to adam, is only partly true and its actually a kind of a twist in concept. the things is, and this is  smth dazai knows all too well is that ppl suffer simply on account of being human. human suffering is brought on because humans, by virtue of being humans, feel. so when he says he’s willing to acknowledge chuuya as human despite what N and Verlaine said he’s already admitting that chuuya suffers. so there is really nothing “new” to see for him. he knows chuuya suffers already and he does too because they’re both humans trying to make it thru their messed up lives. also chuuya “ceasing to be human” is a p huge concern for him bc he himself is like that. just like with the suicide thing, it bothers dazai when someone else shares his situation/his fate like as long as his life is his own, he has no problem ending it whenever but the situation is complicated when someone else’s life span is determined by that decision. and similarly, as long as he is “no longer human” its not that much of an issue because he’s like resigned to a doomed fate but someone like chuuya ceasing to be human or worse yet never getting to know if hes human or not are pressing matters. so anyways what he actually means here is that in saving chuuya, he saves someone who suffers just like he does and in their case, even the cause of suffering boils down to a shared psychological conflict: what essentially constitutes being human and if im human or not. now this sharing of pain and suffering is the foundation of forming a connection with someone, which makes life a little better. here again, what rimaud imparted to dazai and chuuya is driven home. also dazai’s key anxiety is not finding meaning/anything. this “anything” can be assumed to be something that justifies life. so all his anxiety and frustration stems from the fact that there really is no discernible meaning to be found in the mechanism of life. so it is an empty pursuit because it is true that nothing can explain why feelings of pain and suffering are exponentially heavier than feelings of happiness or why after getting to experience one (1) free day we’re back to square one where life is grueling. these are questions that really dont have an answer so every time dazai like gazes into the abyss and says he didnt  find anything, he is not so much asking if he’ll ever find anything as swallowing the hard truth that there is nothing to be found, no singular entity exists that can magically justify everything. again drawing upon literature or philosophy more specifically, there’s a concept called Absurdism which says the only philosophical truth so to say is this that life is absurd and looking for meaning is futile. instead what we can do is accept that it is absurd and deal with it in the best way possible, by finding little sources and moments of happiness, and strewing them together so we feel somewhat content. even if it is just for a fleeting second. and this happiness/contentment amidst a wretched life (altho temporal) can be found in friendship, in sharing, and even in having fun with people you’re comfortable with! this is actually why dazai wants to save chuuya and now it may seem like im interpreting his words through the shipping lens but thats not so and it can be corroborated by looking into dazai’s words to odasaku. after chuuya, dazai’s next attempt at friendship was odasaku who he found “interesting”. now when odasaku sort of like threw hands and chose death over having to live a life without the orphans, dazai tried to stop him not by saying stuff like life is good. and things will def change for the better. but instead he admits that living is hard and the sense of void is ubiquitous and yet he doesnt want him to  up and die because then he would be sad. because the little comfort that he got from odasaku and something he probably assumed odasaku also got from him would be gone. [how much odasaku considered dazai a source of comfort remains unclear. in fact the reason odasaku gave up and died was because he did not have this. this feeling of sharing in someone else’s suffering and seeking comfort in friends in the real world. instead he was too vested in his ideal world. his over reliance on an entirely idealistic concept is actually what pushed him over the edge. and this would have been the case for dazai too had he not encountered and sought comfort and companionship in chuuya and eventually in odasaku ] so this again goes on to show how rimbaud’s words changed dazai’s heart. and in a way dazai really has been doing this unconsciously form the v beginning like by teasing chuuya continually in Fifteen. you dont expect someone as cold as him to indulge in friendly bickering and taunting so often but he does. that there is significance and even happiness in that is something he learns over time, after rimbaud’s words to him. although these things seem futile on the surface they give a moment’s respite. so although chuuya spinning dazai on a rope in stormbringer might seem weird to everyone, they still serve a purpose:  
Tumblr media
what shirase puts forward is particularly relevant here because neither dazai nor chuuya is fully aware of the extent of their feelings (or even what those feelings are like they dont know what label to put. so typical oblivious lovers) for each other or what they stand to gain just by driving each other nuts but there is something intangible but satisfying to be felt. a kind of contentment that helps him continue. one day at a time. there is no one great “thing” that can make him like wake up one day feeling like he doesnt want to die ever again. but again like i said before, the key word for dazai is “extent” so, these little things to some extent contribute to a sense of fulfilment which helps him keep death at bay. thats why he’s bent on saving chuuya bc he knows they can share in their suffering and make life better for each other. its not like he wants chuuya to suffer. chuuya will suffer nonetheless like every other human. but in suffering together there is something to be found so he doesnt want him to cease being human. 
this covers more or less the intertextuality between Stormbringer and Fifteen. i just wanna talk a bit more about a couple other moments in Stormbringer that i feel are p important because they put some things in the series in perspective and also made the dead apple moment 10x more emotional 🥺 one thing that really strikes me is the absolute fanon level of comfort that dazai and chuuya share in Strombringer. its like scenes form k-drama lol. 
Tumblr media Tumblr media
so yeah this stuff. compare this with dazai’s reaction @atsushi when he drops im not saying that its not just a joke and that what im saying should be the right way to look at this contrast. its not like that at all. but what this does is give an estimate to the readers just how close and comfortable dazai feels when its chuuya. and this plus everything i rambling on abt for so long also gives us an estimate about the sincerity of dazais feelings. now 2 things always bothered me : the fact that dazai actually left chuuya and the fact that after the fight against lovecraft he actualy deserted him (this again can ofc be construed as just a humorous bit but still it did leave a bad taste in my mouth) dazai leaving the mafia is ofc something he had to do to fulfil oda’s dying wish but it still dint sit right with me that he would abandon chuuya. just like oda levaing is harder on dazai, dazai leaving is harder on chuuya. its always harder on the one left behind. so anyway, these sorts of things sometimes made me doubt dazai’s feelings but now that stormbringer clears it all up i do think there is a larger motif at work here. when mori offers dazai to come back to the mafia in s2 we see him saying that it was mori who kicked him out and that he did so because he was afraid dazai would usurp his position. so he set it up in a way that dazai would be forced to leave but on his own accord. now more than usurpation i believe what mori really did fear is that dazai had no allegiance to the mafia (which is actually true) bc he doesnt have that sense of loyalty and that to him his friends were more important than swearing allegiance to mori. (which again is true). so by getting oda killed, the message that mori seemed to be giving out was if dazai didnt leave he would do it again. and if we consider ango’s betrayal which had already transpired at that point, the one mori would next target to sort of get at dazai would inevitably be chuuya. this is only conjecture but still, i do believe this might as well be true because then it would explain why dazai didnt carry chuuya back to the base after their fight [something he was v comfortable doing in Stormbringer. in fact in the first case he carries chuuya back to the billiards bar and not to the mafia’s base so he could hear albatross’ last words 🥺] its because mori needs to know unlike dazai, chuuya is absolutely loyal to him which regrettably he is. it kinda becomes imperative therefore on part of dazai to make it seem that way to mori. that they really are at each others throats and that dazai is insignificant to chuuya. and that the mafia comes before dazai. (which is not true bc we see chuuya protecting his friend [shirase] while also staying loyal to the mafia in Stormbringer) 
mori also in his own way tries to provoke hostility b/w them like in Dead Dpple when he was all like yeah so dazai is the star and chuuya is merely bait. so it kinda makes sense if dazai left the mafia not only to like do good work but also to protect chuuya from mori. also the fact that chuuya did the same thing— left the Sheep and joined PM to protect Shirase from the mafia makes be believe that my speculation is plausible given all the parallels we find between dazai and chuuya. 
and the last bit is about the brilliant Dead Apple scene and how much added context it gets in light of Stormbringer. 
Tumblr media
in this scene dazai first says: “you used Corruption believing in me?” and then the translation is “how beautiful” which is an okay translation but the exact thing dazai said was “nakasetekurerune” which literally is : youre gonna make me cry you know? now my knowledge of japanese is like duolingo level but i do know “nakasete” has to do with crying and “kureru” is used by the receiver to indicate he’s receiving a feeling/object from someone close. so basically chuuya trusting him is something so beautiful that it could almost move him to tears. now lets look at dazai’s intro in Stormbringer:
Tumblr media
dazai, being dazai, ofc would be able to tell genuine trust from fealty out of fear so ofc the fact that chuuya has this kind of blind faith in him is overwhelming for him. also stormbringer really expands on the sight effects of Corruption in full detail. its so PAINFUL and to think that chuuya would jump into it right away for dazai’s sake.....no wonder he is so soft when deactivating him. and then he proceeds to flirt for a little bit with the Snow White and the kiss of life reference. but this flirting doesnt seem even a little out of place now. it doesn't feel like smth meaningless or smth that dazai is just saying as a joke. that there is absoluetly no subtext to making a statement like that. instead that kind of flirting feels like smth inspired from a deep, deep familiarity with someone who really shares his heart and soul. when he talks to chuuya abt the problem of not knowing whether he is human or not, it is a problem that is as central to him as it’s to chuuya. not feeling fully reconciled to a human identity is a problem thats fundamental to both of them. I don’t think familiarity gets any deeper than this where you share the exact same psychological problem. so its really wonderful how we can trace the skk development now: what starts out as a crush on part of dazai or not a crush exactly rather, a feeling of perplexed admiration because chuuya is breathtakingly beautiful inside out, eventually gain all these layers and develops into something meaningful where they have so much faith in each other and where they literally help each other live. knowing someone out there shares your exact issue so you’re really not alone in this is perhaps the greatest comfort in the world. also now its clear how both of them would have turned out had they not met each other and had they not taken in rimbaud’s advice. chuuya in his desire to learn about himself and frustration at not being able to do the same would have perhaps spiralled downward and ended up becoming like verlaine. he is his double here after all. and had dazai not seen chuuya up close being the wonderful person he is, he too would have probably ended up developing a god complex and becoming like fyodor. dazai is there to save chuuya literally from dying a monster and chuuya is there to remind him he too can try and mend his ways and embrace his human side. after all chuuya has so much trust him in! (despite him having questionable methods) for both of them, it starts out as an attempt to be more human, then establishing a fruitful partnership, and finally coming in terms with their feelings to some extent. for dazai, he’s comfortable enough to engage in occasional flirting at this point and for chuuya it’s playing along with dazai’s antics (well with the ones he get 💀 pretty boy has half a functional braincell) and openly showing his concern for him. so really by confirming their feelings what strombringer does is enhance the skk development in a way that Dead Apple doesnt seem like fan service anymore. the fact that dazai would casually flirt or be comfortable with chuuya landing on his crotch 💀 all that isnt as ridiculous as it first seemed because stormbringer lays the groundwork and anticipates all the intimate/flirty skk moments that have happened till now and ig will happen again soon. 
367 notes · View notes
icecreamkink · 3 years
Text
watched all of the untamed / cql in two weeks after my friend 1 told me abt mdzs a hundred years ago and my friends 2 and 3 tried to get me into cql for like two whole years and there are.
feelings.
very first scene is a very dramatic death in the middle of nightmare battle on sith planet land . i will forget abt it in the next tenish episodes and then will be very surprised when it becomes Extremely Painful
anyway magic flying gays and possession and human sacrifice! we are off to a great start
in retrospect, chaos goblin wei wuxian must have had a blast pretending to be so cRaZy and be as disruptive as he could as mo xuanyu lbr
listen. why is fire always evil coded. cant a magic clan wear red, black and orange and have flame motif while being wholesome?
For Legal Reasons These Are Not Zombies
i wish the politics of the sect were a bit clearer, especially at the beggining when the wen clan had sm power, was wen ruohan the chief cultivator? is that why they were so slow in responding to the attacks? im v confused by the pre yiling patriarch politics
fighting in the roof by the moonlight as way of flirtiiiiiiing. as i understand this is a wuxia/xianxia trope and honestly...... thank u for ur service
slight bullying and being a nuisance in general, as a way of flirting we love to see it
wwx: if i drink on the rooftop, thats not inside the cloud recesses! hmmm check and mate :D lwj: i will fuck u up so help me god   wwx: :0
i lov them
through hell or high water (quite literally) wei wuxian rem ains a trashfire gremlin till the end and i love him with my whole heart
in the pt subs wei wuxian calls jiang cheng a stubborn duck and i dearly wish that had come back
my opinions on almost every character goes from love to hate u - Hmm Me Like U - BABY. ILY. and i am Very Pleased w that. its been a while since i loved such a complete cast so much i think
no really. i WONT go into a detailed rant abt what i love about each of these characters and each of their relationships to each other. but i COULD. 
some lan disciples in the loudest whisper ever: YEAH THATS THE JIN BASTARD MENG YAO HEARD THE GOT SUPER HUMILIATED BY HIS DAD LOL SURE HOPE HE DOESNT TAKE SLIGHTS TO HIS CHARACTER TO HEART
lan xichen, immediately: i must Love him 
being into problematic ppl is in the Lan genetics, we come to realize
wen qing deserves so many awards for so many things but not snapping and just stabbing wen chao is at the top 
that scene at lan qirens class where wwx talks about using resentful energy to fight a violent spirit. exquisite.
 It establishes Good Student lan wangji, wei wuxian as curious and questioning and not afraid of taboo,  lwj sees that wwx is not, in fact, a dumb ass hes just a Dumbass,  shows us the audience (esp. a western audience) how shocking the idea of disrupting the dead/dying and controlling resentful energy actually is,  the theoretical foreshadow arguing, everyone else like ‘shUT UP’,  “and how could you ensure that the resentful energy would obey you and not hurt other?” “well i havent thought that far” and of course, lan qiren just straight up lobbing a hard object at wwx head,. chefs kiss
fellas is it gay to bother the hot rule obessessed nerd from ur school and make drawings of him with flowers in his hair and then hide gay porn in his book to antagonize him and ask him to hold ur hand and be ur friend and talk to him all the time and get him drunk and give him bunnies bc you know he likes them and give him a lantern and always want his attention and dedicate yourself to getting him to smile-
and after all of that wwx rly said oh i Admire him, aksd like yeah we all were there in high school buddy
i have Learned. caves = gay.
 accidental marriage +beint physically tied together with the sacred married ribbon+ gay panic+foreshadowing+bunnies! in the cave (1)
the story abt lan yi and baoshan sanren tho. i would like to see it
early days wen bros pull my heart strings like a guqin 
EVERYTHING about the lantern scene; disaster hets jiang yanli and jin zixuan; how wwx made lwj a bunny lantern. how soft and touched lwj was. wwx gleefully pointing out he was smiling and lwj IMMEDIATELY PULLING HIW SWORD ON HIM LMAO. tragically foreshadowy promises to do right by pepople, living without regrets. lwjs 'oh no do i love him??' face. just. all of it. 
i have it on good acc that in the novel lwj is explicitly Repressed Gay Panicked Big Horny which is delightful and rly Adds to the performance
 baby lwj is really just conceal dont feel dont let them know u have EMOTIONS (derogatory)
jiang cheng rly went "why dont.u go play with HIM if u like him so much"
jc and wwx have big BIG annoying sibling energy dont think too hard abt it or youll cry
lotus pier is soo pretty :((((((((((((((((
up until episode 13 you could think this could be a magical ancient chinese gays pride n prejudice w swords and shenanigans ................youre just not prepared for the game of thrones of it all
seriously ha ha ha i cried so much w this show my eyes genuinely swelled up . like. physically. fun timez fun timez
that being said, its hilarious that wen xu goes to cloud recesses like 'come out or ill kill all these hostages' and then DOESNT WAIT FOR AN ASWER AND KILLS THEM ALL IMMEDIATELY. do u know how blackmail works sir
 would like to make it recorded that from day one i was like 'CALL A GODDAMN CULTIVATION G20 THIS ASSHOLE SECT IS LITERALLY MASSACRING YALL!!' and it took them like 3 or 4 massacres to do anything and they STILL sent their heirs into their territory  LIKE
when wwx cites the gusu lan rules to wen chao tho. that rebel/attention whore/cutie pie 'look lan zhan i DID memorize the rules after all' ‘also a big fuck you to the wen sect :D :D’ sweet spot that scene achieves . delicious
all the cultivator young masters being petty af even though they are practically prisoners at the cave is hilarious and i love them
hurt and comfort + gay mistunderstandings + watsonian gay declaration music + accidental evil acquisition! at the cave (2)
its like where do i start? the fact theyre both trapped and kind of heavily injured inside an isolated cave with a murder turtle? wwx gay panicking lwj into coughing up bad blood? lwj being jealous as wwx babbles abt mianmian? telling him he shouldnt play with people and wwx saying he never played him? wwx going Oh. I See what is happening. YOU like mianmian, and lwj absolute done face ??? (iconic) wwx touching the sacred married ribbon Again? the telepathic communication? the sword? WEI WUXIAN ASKING LAN WANGJI TO SING TO HIM AS HE IS PASSING OUT AND LWJ SINGING HIM. THE SONG. HE WROTE. FOR WWX. AND THAT HE CALLED. THEIR SHIP NAME????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
they are SO insufferable pleeeeease
in the words of my friend 1 : “CQL is so gay we were all amazed how it got past the censors Ofc unfortunately it can't be novel level gay But they did their best And we love them for it”
in the theme of songs THIS OST. WUJI HAS BEEN LIVING IN MY MIND RENT FREE SINCE I FIRST HEARD IT the whole ost is so so sO beautiful.
 the costuming in this is also soooo exquisite. the embroidery? the fabrics? the details? how every sect and clan has a distinct style and architecture? (also ik they based each off of dif periods in chinese history which is REALLY fucking cool) just chefs kiss
the direction too!. i enjoy the unusual camera movements and i think they give it that Vibe, also their composition is PARTICULARLY good when it comes to telling the subtext through position of camera/position of character (like nhs off to the side in scenes he at first glance doesnt need to be/ how lwj is often centered when hes Jealous Yearning at wwx being affectionate w other ppl, wwx return from burial mounds etc)
ik madam yu is like Badass Milf Check and shes not getting any mom of the year awards but im delighted at how messy she is. IMAGINE that woman on tiktok
you better have enjoyed gay cave (2) bc its Just Pain from here on out! 
jiang fengmian and madame yu win the Most Dramatic Way to show they do care about each other, actually ..... ever :)
i thought jiang yanli jiang cheng and wei wuxian forcing themselves to escape yunmeng barely holding on after their parents are killed was going to be the height of pain in this show. ha. 
the family dynamics in general on this showwwww, both blood/ adopted/ found families, brotherly bonds and lifelong friendships just. rly. truly. fucked me up. theyre all so important and complicated and well rounded and beautiful and tragic
and beyond being a Win For the Gays im so glad the relationships w wwx and jiang yanli/ wen qing were NOT changed from platonic bc they are so much better like that imo. like maybe if we didnt Live In A Society it wouldnt be so, but the fact wwx and others can love and value them so much and theres nothing romantic or sexual abt it is like. so refreshing. especially @ jyl, with the way he and jc are overprotective of her and shes such a nurturing/care taker figure for them, it would just not vibe as well if they made it romantic
i love that this is a story abt Wei Wuxian, the Yiling Patriarch aka Actual Satan/Boogey Man/Village With/Public Enemy Number One , my dude is literally a necromancer who only dresses in black and has evil smokey black tendrils wafting out of him, but the really edgy one is still jiang cheng, pastel purple fashion icon
and speaking of best/worst siblings wei wuxian and jiang cheng *immediately starts crying* 
The Golden Core Transfer i just. no thots only tears 
wen qing and wen ning putting themselves in so much danger just.... to help them. wn saving jc from wen chao. wq finding a way to get wwx to transfer his core. like thinking about the monumental work these two did to help wwx and jyl and jc... jyl trying so fucking hard to be strong and keep on moving and giver her little brothers comfort after losing everything... jiang cheng. losing his parents and his home and his ability to do anything abt it and his complete desperation and lack of self worth and turning on them with agression  when he didnt realize all that they did for him ... hhhhhhhhhhhhh
me, pointing at the whole cast “i just LOVE them mom!!!”
its sad tho, that BARELY ANY of the women have like.... actual important conversations let alone relationships with each other at all in the story. and like wq and jyl have stayed at the same place for extended periods of time, where wq actively took care of her TWICE,  and still! not one measly convo, nothing! ................ .𝓌ₕᵧ
everyone in this show need a good sip of Self Worth and Stop Sacrificing Yourself juice 
ngl the sword flying looks very dumb 
“a-cheng, please bring a-xian back.” “i will, i promise.” ;-;
the whole calling each other by the More Intimate Version of the name, first as teasing and later as true intimacy. mmmhmmm yes
untamed where everythings the same but wwx evil flute song is eoeo
related that scene when wwx comes back from the burial mounds for the first time w demonic cultivation and he acts all formal and calls lwj hanguang-jun and keeps being evasive and distant and mean and soooooo................. facetious 
and how hes kind of desperately trying to keep intense lwj at bay (A FIRST) and avoiding actually talking to either of them and its all tension ughhh and then he MOCKS his and lwjs relationship, he jokes w him in this like... mean echo of their usual ~banter~ oof 
 and like!!! uncertain but so relieved jc who just HUGS him w no reservations for once and its not like he isnt just as worried as lwj abt wwx and what hes doing, but he chooses in that moment to enjoy getting him back first and mmhmMMMmMm yes (maybe my favorite scene in the whole show? MAYBE SO. ) 
highkey hurt me but also. i might be into mean wwx. i will take no criticism.
lan zhans sad eyes tho :((((((((( 
on one hand i wish we could have seen what happened at the burial mounds but on the other the timeskip adds so much flair to his return so im hnnn
also i love that hes been missing for 3 months reappears kinda melancholic and bloodthirsty and knowing malign tricks and jc is like 'so. are u sad bc of lan wangji'
when ur bae survived the war but he thinks ur evil/ might be evil so you cant kiss :///
hmmm talking at the rooftop under the moonlight not mentioning everything that stands between usssss
they are the two jades of lan and we’ll be the two heroes of yunmeng is the type of line u dont even need to know whats gonna happen to know thats gonna be sad
when they fight wen ruoshan at the nightless city i thought that was the battle we see at the first ep and its not and its so easy and theyre all like ‘yayy we won go wwx!’ i was just. SCREAMS WHAT is gonna HAPPEN
so like. post burial mounds/sunshot campaign pre yiling patriarch wwx is like. ultra arrogant, ultra mocking, peak lil shit and it gave me e v e r y t h i n g i wanted
even tho having the wen prisoners at the targets at phoenix mountain and still having wwx and jzx shooting the arrows was???? so.... tone deaf 
wwx: fucking w demonic energy   jyl: he has never done anything wrong in his life, ever <3 <3 (mood)
the parallels between meng yao/wei wuxian (and even xue yang a bit?) are Seen and they are Valid
wwx post burial mounds: can yall SHUT UP abt the goddamn sword (suibian left the chat)
LIKE truly, we talk abt the angst and yearning with wangxian. but what abt wwx and suibian. xianbian / xianqing angst and comfort 100k
take a shot everytime someone coughs up blood
zidian is simply the coolest spiritual weapon rip to suibian and chenqing and bichen and sendou and baixa........ but tis the truth 
cons: everyones families died in a nightmare war! everyones homes burned to the ground! everyone is traumatized! pros: everyone gets cooler clothes and weapons!!
wen ning and a-yuan and yanli bestest babes squad dont touch me rn
everyone: brooding and fighting                                                                wq and jyl: why dont you try some acupunture/drinking some soup and calm down huh? how abt that bitch?? 
showing the battle/massacre at the nightless city first was genius actually bc then everytime we have a cute scene w yunmeng bros and theyre like 'we'll be together forever! uwu' youre like oh. oh no. oh no no no. 
justice vs lawfulness vs means and ends 👁
jc: stay in the right path and practice the art of the sword                        wx: yeah thats not gonna happen chief
my reaction to wwx renouncing to the sect politics to help the wens was just that elmo burning gif in succession
the dramatic rain. wen qing desperately calling out to wen ning. the ghosts/puppets killing the guards. how terrifying wn actually was while wwx was controlling him :( lwj goeing after him to try and stop him and then he just; he Sees him and understands him even if he cant actually do anything about it other than let them go. 
“there must be somewhere in this earth we can go to :(((((((((”
"IF I HAVE TO FIGHT THEM, I'D RATHER IT BE YOU. DYING BY YOUR HANDS WOULD AT LEAST BE WORTH IT." oh my god oh my god oh my goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooddddddd
also lwjs umbrella is white w black smoke.. .  . nice
yiling patriarch / demonic farming burial mounds settlement is like one of my favorite concepts. they an "EVIL" FARMING COMMUNITY LED BY THE VILLAGE WITCH COME ON
they planted TURNIPS and LOTUS FLOWERS and ONE (1) baby and made lanterns and a common hall :(((((((
wen qing and wei wuxian, baddest bitches and genius science best friends i absolutely LOVED to see it. they rly went ‘is anyone gonna sibling/project partner that’ and didnt wait for an answer
both wwx and jyl getting lotus ponds at the burial mounds and in lanling bc they miss lotus pier ;;;;;;;w
;;;;; wish jyl had actually gone into the burial mounds. we were robbed of jyl and wq meeting again and jyl meeting a-yuan and seeing the settlement and the homes and all ;w; at least jc did go, stab wounds and broken arms and all
wwx like... having thrown his whole life away to help the wens (yeah the sect leaders and jin guangshan in particular wanting his stygian tiger amulet was an Element but still) and not.... necessarily regretting it, but grappling with all of the consequences of it... becoming moody and drepressed at times, missing his family and lotus pier and his friends and probably simply missing being around people and causing trouble, extrovert that he is, lashing out at the wens and at a-yuan, just in general the whole messiness of that experience
the way the resentful energy does affect his temperament is rly nice bc its not too in your face,(i mean outside of the Shaky Hands of Rage) but like he clearly has a much lesser control on his anger and impulsivity (tall order) than both before bm and after hes ressurected
on that note A-YUAN BABIEST BABY BOY BEST BOY
lan zhan being like oh hey there wei ying fancy meeting u and our son here. just passing by u know how it is hmmmmMm and then PLOT TWIST having defied orders to go see him and being punished for it. oof;;
 they habent seen each other in like? a year? and now theyre tgt 10 seconds and are already parenting a child together
also lwj rly kneels down in the snow way too much to be healthy
wwx: calm down guyssss i wont lose control of demonic cultivation omgggg  .   spoiler alert: he loses control of demonic cultivation
did u enjoy cute children? good bc now the Real Pain Begins
jiang yanli and jin zixuan rly out there APROPRIATING both disaster gays AND bury ur gays huh ;w;
i KNEW jin lings birthday was gonna fuck something up but the GASP that left my body when wwx lost control of wn and killed jin zixuan .. . . 
im sorry and thank you aaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAaAAAAA 
when wen ning and wen qing were telling wwx their plan i was saying NO NO NO NO NO NO out loud in despair 
also can we talk abt how wq is definetely talking about only the both of them surrending themselves but then? everyone else just surrenders w them? IT MAKES NO SENSE LIKE WHY WOULD THEY what would be the Point
 sometimes there are some pretty gaping jumps in logic and continuity that are just like                     ?          ?
wwx: oh so when you try to murder me its justified but when i survive through dark magic and murder all of you its a "war crime"
unsurprisingly, his most feral, most spiraling moment talking to the sect leaders on the roof and attacking them and even fighting lan zhan is among my favorite scenes... its like, so painful to watch but also   so       thrilling   (and maybe my wen bbs dying arose some resentful energy in me what can i say) 
and its JUST, all they ever wanted was to do good but then... war. and trauma. and hubris. 
jiang cheng on the ground clearly thorn between what to do and feel is a Mood, lets just say
i was already crying when jyl showed up, but if i wasnt-
 i suffered SO MUCH through this series trying to figure out WHY jc would kill wwx. and when i understood. its somehow not as bad as i thought and also MUCH MUCH WORSE
a look into my group chat during the last flashback episodes:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
SO ANYWAY. after the BLOOD BATH and RIPPING YOUR HEART OUT and FEEDING IT TO YOU  the untamed goes ‘ayy back to the present!! tu du dud ud du’ 
literally it ends a quarter into an episode and then KEEPS GOING i had to pause and stare blankly at the ceiling for an hour
babie cultivators and detective soulmates . i do need some cute after All of That 
(not that the pain is over LOL)
lwj is significantly less emotionally repressed in the present and its delightful. hes just ALL IN with wwx. and not just in the ‘i would and have killed various men and risked my reputation for you’ but also ‘ur tired here have a drink i brought it up cause i know u like it and it want you to be happy, always’
“when everyone praised me and wanted my power, you were the only one that challenged me. now that everyone hates me and wants me dead, youre the only one that stands by my side.” hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnn 
and just filling in the blanks how lan zhan searched for him. for all of those 16 years he searched for him and was punished for it and raised a-yuan, the only survivor of the burial mounds settlement, as his own in gusu......
and jiang cheng.  being the tough love uncle . having raised the yunmeng jiang clan from the rubble all alone, his whole family dead, some of it on the blame of his own brother, his siblings, his closest friends gone.......and only jin ling there needing his guidance. 
THE PARALLEL BETWEEN JIN LING BEING A LIFELINE FOR JIANG CHENG AND A-YUAN FOR LAN WANGJI AFTER THE BATTLE AT THE NIGHTLESS CITY  
great now i made myself sad
and like . the fact! that lwj and jc dislike each other!!. jc projects blame onto him for wwx both “leaving” him and indirectly causing their families deaths and when hes so consumed by it he makes wwx an enemy, lwj is there now? trying to protect him?? and lwj, who can never understand the pain that wwx , indirectly or not put jc through, but who was right there when jc tried to kill him and will never allow him to hurt wwx again. and how they like. in a way project blame of their tragedies onto each other while dealing with some type of survivor guilt and in their own way still loving wwx through it all???  amd in way its kind of fundamentally selfish but also tragically understandable? and like when u put it against the fact that after he disappears during the sunshot campaign they were looking for him together and fought together??
JUST. THE CHARACTERS. AND THE RELATIONSHIPS IN THIS. MAN. UGH. GOD. 
and like i think thats what makes it so good? its such a sad and painful and violent story, edgy even, but its compelling bc at the center of it there are all of these relationships and different types of love and hope and. :( i love it
enough crying lets talk abt wwx sleeping at the jingshi with lwj and wearing his under garment for a minute 🙏
 jin ling just has that Was Raised by JC energy tho lmao i love him
babie cultivator squad is the perfect ammount of cute and comedic relief while still bearing the weight? of the narrative in a way, both from sizhui and jin lings existences, and also. like. how do i put this. they feel hopeful? they were born after a war, they came of age at a time of relative peace, they dont hold on so closely to the resentments of their parents/father figures, they are specifically shown as more accepting and open minded. and its like.... Hope for the future  
one of the ?? things  i love the most is the fact that the main cast are often in situations where theyre hunted/running but they like. never wear disguises... just going around in their gorgeous expensive clan clothes and hair ornaments and distinctive spiritual weapons.... maybe w a straw hat on, just for kicks
wwx teacher 🥺🥺🥺
so this is why its called Yi City Misery huh
a-qing is such. an icon. im so sad. my girl even knew to leave xys dumb self rotting by the road but no one listens to her thats why theyre all dead or sad 
her and xue yang measuring each other up was so entertaining lmao
 its the funniest thing when hes like. HERES MY SAD STORY. FOR WHY IM A SADISTIC MURDERER. I BROKE MY HAND ONCE. 
like ok someone broke his hand in a horrible way, and like Poverty, i get it but also like.......... that lost the brunt of a proper sob story like, 50 sadistic murders ago bby
and i love that xingchen does not entertain that for a second hes like ‘not ?????? good enough???’ and the best thing is he wasnt even like 'u hadto be the bigger person' or sth but ' well then break that dudes hand back, rip his arm off for i care, what do the rest of us have to do w anything???” 
anjo sensato :(
xue yang is like..... the sexy sadistic evil version of a himbo..... a meanbo...
the fucked upness of xy’s feelings for xxc/ xxc and sl feelings for each other... like my dude literally gave his bf HIS EYES. and xy getting so attached to xxc .... the fucked up fake domesticity.... having him hurt sl..... then desperately trying to bring him back ...................... oof
song lan........... literally had his eyes AND tongue removed, his bfs eyes put in place, was almost killed, turned into a puppet by his bf unknowingly, manipulated by xy, sees his bf killing himself in despair.... and STILL finds the strenght to get up from there, and keep on traveling and helping people and attempting to fix xxcs soul.......... like, my man. damn. 
wangxian looking at songxiao and seeing an Actually more painful parallel for themselves. ft. that Color Coding. 
THE A-YUAN/SIZHUI REVEAL PUNCHED ME IN THE HEART but in a good way for a change
should have know that he would be the Best Boy the cute one w all the braincells
the butterfly AND the bunny lantern. i see how it is
u know is very convenient that no one can see the stark black veins on wen nings neck, ever 
BAT WEN NING 
wns face when lwj comes into wwx room like ‘:0 omg did u two finally get your shit together? good for you master wei good for u’ 
(they didnt) (yet)
DISASTER DRUNK LWJ. JUST. THRUST SOME CHICKENS TO SHOW UR RESSURECTED BAE THAT U LOVE THEM.
i have absolutely no idea WHY they gave lwj the same punishment for fighting his own sect/allies to protect the burial mounds as when they got drunk on cloud recess class days.... like? its such a ... emotional continuity error again
also is lwj gonna get an actual friend besides wwx , ever
mianmian marrying and having a family and a cute life after saying FUCK U AND UR SYSTEM TOO in a much less unhinged and dramatic way than wwx......... fills me w joy
also lol the idea that like. her husband not knowing that shes friends w satan/the boogey man/the village witch is hilarious
i love nie mingjue bc hes the resident Though Guy but also the most dramatic bitch in this show and thats Saying Something
jin ling cant have one uneventful relative can he
the fact that everyone present already knew “mo xuanyu” was wwx at the stairs is so funny, their faces are like ‘oh............ wow. that. sure is a development. shock” 
in the tradition of extremely loud whispers wwx tells lwj with twelve guards standing like one meter away from them: HEY PSH LAN ZHAN PRETEND IM FORCING YOU TO STAY W ME DO IT
oh my god oh my god
the absolute Yearning on his face when he leaves wwx and a-yuan at the burial mounds and refuses to stay for dinner was already Enough but the fact?? they brought it back?? to this declaration of love?? their expressions??????? strike me dead right now just go ahead
lFor Legal Reasons We Cant Kiss but we will have a very sappy declaration of love and trust and look at each other in way that is the actualization of 💞💘💗💖💓💘💞💗💖💘💗💖💕💞
also icb all the sect leaders and guards are standing there watching them say they like like each other with a dozen swords pointing at their neck
i enjoyed the depiction of the fickle public perception and how easily it can be used to scapegoat people. when the sect leaders turn on jgy and wwx knows thats its more for convenience than anything else...
poor lxc is literally like 'oh so when YOUR problematic boyfriend gets called evil its a misunderstanding but when its MY problematic bf-'
ok like i cant get over nmj let jgy play a song that messed with his temperament at all, like maN u KNEW he might be shady wth
wwx: “hey dont say anything bad abt lan zhan hes not an arrogant dick, thats just his face. 
ME ON THE OTHER HAND"
the cultivators as wwx is poking holes in their narrative is literally *nazaré meme*
"wei wuxian-!" "what did i break your leg, too?" not to be problematic but i laughed so hard
not as hard as "you dont have the rank to talk to me " tho
i Enjoy that, over the course of story, wwx sees that... theres nothing truly to Do, but move on. he saw how his arrogance and his mistakes hurt others, and hes trying to fix what he can, but he already did die for his mistakes and there are things he cant fix and that's. just how it is. even towards jgy, the narrative doesn't go gleefully and completely with "lets make THEM pay bc theyre the big bad" bc its not that simple, and it wouldn't lead anywhere but more pain...
re him and jiang cheng and the wens and kinda. isnt that what nhs did? scheming to displace jgy out of revenge more than any justice and doing so in the most painful way?
idk if that actually makes sense im truly just babbling
i thought the scene at the lotus pond would be CUTE but the context was PAIN again
jiang cheng finding out about his golden core and his conflict with wwx at the guanyin temple .... destroyed me but in a nice way kinda.... same way it destroys him look at his face oh god
and. the fact??? he sacrificed himself for wwx?? first?? and he'll probably never tell anyone much less wwx???? keeps me up at night
i havent decided if the neckbreak transition between jgy does sth super Evil or does he he does OR Does He yes he does O R does heeeee is sth i dislike or not
jin guangyao and wei wuxians most interesting parallel is that... theyve both seen 'hmm hey this system is fucked up' and wwx went 'so fuck it all i will renounce it and challenge it' and jgy went 'so fuck it i will use all of it to my advantage and manipulate it to my goals and whims'
the fact jgys mom was actually great and he loved her and his whole issue w it was more than simply being ashamed of being a bastard kinda got me ngl
never trust a dude with a fan.
nhs and jgy: the first rule to a convoluted and decades spanning violent revenge plot is to have fun and be yourself! 
when a-yuan finally FINALLY remembers ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; wen ning has someone in his family back and a-yuan has someone to talk abt his wen family and wwx has him back bc he survived and lwj raised him anD HES THEIR SON. THEYRE MARRIED AND HAVE A SON. UGH.
and theyre allowed to heal. everyone is allowed to try and recover and be happy
netflix put all of the 3 endings on top of each other and it looks kinda weird actually BUT I DONT EVEN MIND :’’’’’’’’’)
the gasp that left me when lwj says ‘wei ying’ and wwx turns.........
there was also a screen with ‘thank you mxtx for creating these characters, we hope their wishes come true’ and i might. have cried then too. maybe. 
that was . a ride. as is proven by this behemot of a ramble clearly i just really needed and Outlet. i am currently trying to convince dumb monkey brain to not consume the other medias of mdzs immediately bc i REALLY need to like. live. a life. and take care of real responsibilities.  *longest oh boi ever*
51 notes · View notes
handonhaven · 3 years
Note
I know this isn't really a Handon question so it's fine if you don't want to answer it.
I just want to start by saying that I know this is an unpopular opinion but I think any other ship for Hope or Landon would just feel so forced at this point. Bc they spent the last 3 seasons showing how much they love each other and how they only want to be with each other. So for them to put Hope or Landon in any other ship it would just feel so forced to me. There's also the fact that there hasn't been any build up or hints at other ship for them(ik a lot people say stuff like well s4 of the TVD Elena ended up with Damon and that'll most likely happen with Hope as well. Forgetting the fact that there was little hints in s3 about that. And that the TVD was a love triangle story. So that was bound to happen at some point). And I just don't want another Delena sire bound thing(but I'm not going to say much on that so no one who ships Delena gets upset) to happen to put Hope or Landon with someone else. And it just wouldnt make sense.
I know this is a lot to ask given how the show has handle it in the past. But I'm really hoping that in s4 they handle trauma and mental health a lot better. And that it end up being like with Lizzie accidentally joining a cult when she went away to get help for herself. Or even how they handle the whole thing with Hope grieving. What made me so much more mad about that is when the Banshee showed up and Alaric said that line about how no one should be left alone in their grieve and that's exactly what they did to Hope. So I'm hoping(🤞🤞🤞) they handle that a lot better(and not just for Handon, for any other character dealing with trauma/mental health). Even more so for when they get the real Landon back. Bc I think we can all agree that he's gonna have some type of PTSD. It would be nice to see him dealing with that. I just don't want them to completely chance who Landon is at his core. Bc Landon is not one to go for violence(unless it's a last resort) he's always been more of try to talk things out/find another solution if we can type of person. What I do want(and hoping) to see with Landon PTSD is maybe him feeling uneasy around people. And/or having nightmares and/or daymares(like a flashback during the day if he hears a certain noise or if someone accidentally touches him without warning and he gets sent back to a memory) as well. Or even anything along those lines. But again that might just asking for a lot given how they've handled it in the past.
Agreed! It would absolutely be forced. Exactly, it would basically make the last 3 seasons for nothing if they did that, and would make no sense for either of their characters. And that’s so true about them not hinting at any other ships. And what’s also funny is they used to do that, at least for Hope, they would tease a lot and had other characters crushing on her. In season 2, they had that with Raf, Ethan, there was supposedly gonna be something with Maya too, but notice that they got rid of all of that in season 3. No one is crushing on Hope anymore (probably because they can see how devoted she is to Landon and know they don’t have a chance 😂), and I think the writers did that intentionally.
But yeah, I’ve seen so many people try to compare it to TVD and just...no. Because, first of all, you’re right, and they were pretty obvious with TVD that there was gonna be a love triangle. Whether or not Elena and Damon would be a couple, we still knew she would at least have feelings for him at some point. They’ve not done that with Hope at all. It seems like they might have planned to do something with Raf, but obviously didn’t end up going anywhere with that. Hope has had no interest in anyone other than Landon, so who else would she even be with when they’ve not been building up to anything else like they did with Delena? (And honestly, even if they were gonna somehow do a repeat of Stelena/Delena with Handon/Hosie, like so many people are hoping for, they should probably look up what Julie’s original plans for TVD were when it comes to that. Because if they were to do that again, but the way they had originally wanted (without the complications that altered things with TVD), it still wouldn’t end well for Hosie.) And I totally agree with you about the sire bond thing as well, but yeah, I won’t go into that here. But I will say that a sire bond wouldn’t even work with Hope. She doesn’t need another vampire’s blood to turn, it’s her own blood, so her being sired to someone would be impossible. And even if it weren’t, if you’ve heard Julie talk about that, I can’t imagine they would ever repeat something like that. So as long as they stick to their own rules and the show’s mythology and stay true to the characters and don’t force anything, there’s literally no reason for Hope and Landon to not stay together.
And when it comes to trauma/mental health, same! That’s huge for me, and something I really want to see. Yeah, the whole cult thing was just weird, and the way they handled Hope’s grief was terrible. And ikr! I actually had made a post saying the exact same thing about the Banshee. So yes, I’m really hoping they’ll address and handle mental health and trauma properly next season. And yeah, for sure, I can’t imagine how Landon wouldn’t have severe PTSD after everything he’s been through. And I definitely want to see him dealing with that, and I think it’s really important for them to address it. And I don’t think they’ll change who Landon is at his core, at least I hope they don’t. I can see him being changed after all that he went through in that he’s gonna be very affected by what happened and very traumatized. And I wouldn’t blame him if he had a breakdown and really struggles and isn’t himself for a while. So he could be different temporarily, but not at his core. I don’t think that would fit with his character. Because exactly, he’s not violent, we know the kind of person he is even after the lifetime of trauma he’d been through before this. He still remained a good person, so it wouldn’t really make sense for him to change completely when we’ve already seen that he’s very mentally strong and resilient. And I wonder if they were trying to show that by having Malivore being violent, and leading us to believe it was a result of Landon’s PTSD and that Landon had changed in that way, when it wasn’t actually Landon at all. Maybe to sort of to let us know that, even after all he’s been through, Landon would still never do those things, he wouldn’t change that much. So I think it’s likely that we’ll see a big difference between how Landon actually is after this vs. how we thought he was when it was Malilandon, and that it’ll be to show that Landon has still remained who he is at his core.
And yes! I want to see all of that. I think he’d definitely struggle to be around people, and have nightmares and flashbacks and all of that. And also feeling trapped and like he’s not in control, or being on edge all the time, still in survival mode, etc. There are just so many ways he could be affected. So I would love to see them really explore that throughout the season. And I don’t think it’s asking for a lot at all, because that’s the kind of stuff they should be focusing on and writing into the show, and it’s too important to just ignore. But I get what you mean by how they’ve handled it before. So while I don’t think it’s asking for too much, I’m still not counting on them to do it well, if they do it at all. They just haven’t seemed to care about important things like that. So I should really probably lower my hopes and expectations as much as I can before the season starts so I won’t be so disappointed.
10 notes · View notes
joyseuphoria · 3 years
Note
She hated how much she liked him now
Thank you sooo much for the prompt!!!
The “him” in the prompts are replaced with “her” since this is a fem!jily fic!!! I had too many ideas for this fic...maybe I’ll write some of the rest in the future, but here you go!
You can read it here or on ao3
THE CURLY SQUAD
(Tuesday 16:00)
Sirius Black: moony and the rest of you pay up
Marlene Mckinnon: why should we pay u?
Remus Lupin: u still owe me 20 btw so i dont think i will
Sirius Black: ofc ppl like u wouldnt know smh
jamie finally asked lily on a date
Peter Pettigrew: Wait what
Marlene McKinnon: afsjtksjdggehej
when 
how 
tell me everything 
Sirius Black: well little prongsie finally sucked up and asked ickle lilykins on date
voila 
Marlene McKinnon: give me the details black
or i s2g ill kick u out of the group 
Sirius Black: empty threats
if u really wanna know u can go ask em
(Marlene McKinnon has removed Sirius Black from the group chat)
Peter Pettigrew: Remind me to not ever cross paths with Marlene 
_____________
THE CURLY SQUAD
(Tuesday 17:00)
Jamie Potter: good riddance 
thx marls 
Marlene McKinnon: got u covered hon
now spill 
Jamie Potter: i hv a date with lil on friday:)
Lily Evans: that she does;)
Marlene McKinnon: i demand details ppl
(Dorcas Meadows has removed Marlene McKinnon from the group chat)
Remus Lupin: wh did u do that for 
Dorcas Meadowes: She was being too nosy
I didn't like it
Jamie Potter:.........thx??
Dorcas Meadowes: Welcome sweetie
_________
THE CURLY SQUAD 
(Tuesday 17:34)
Mary Macdonald: wait what????!!!!!??!
__________
JILY LAMES TALK
(Wednesday 16:30)
Sirius Black: r v up for spying on them on fri?
Marlene Mckinnon: u kno it;)
Mary Macdonald: hell yeah
Peter Pettigrew: Yes! ofc
Remus Lupin: we should give them some privacy sirius
tho ik its a foreign concept to you
Dorcas Meadowes: Obviously
And of course I wanna spy on them
Remus Lupin: but still...yes
Sirius Black: ther is no privacy between  frnds
YAAY
Marlene Mckinnon: so v meet up at 4 outside the bistro next to three broomsticks 
Peter Pettigrew: Wait when’s their date and where?!??
Mary Macdonald: at 5 in 3 broomsticks pete cmon keep up
Remus Lupin: how did u know that?
Sirius Black: im her brother and both their best frnds its obvio that id be the first one to kno
Marlene Mckinnon: and im lilys best frnd too sirius 
Dorcas Meadows: You spied on them didnt you?
Sirius Black: v hv all the rights to spy on them
Mary Macdonald: wait i thought that i was lilys best frnd
Dorcas Meadowes: I can confidently say that it’s neither of you
I’m her best friend
Sirius Black: prove it
Marlene Mckinnon: yeah!
Dorcas Meadowes:  (sends an attachment)
Marlene Mckinnon: shit
Mary Macdonald: …...fair
___________
Private chat between Jamie Potter and Lily Evans 
(Thursday 19:45)
Jamie Potter: cant wait for our date tomorrow 
Lily Evans: ik u cant 
Jamie Potter: 
Lily Evans: <3
;)
______________
Private chat between Jamie Potter and Sirius Black 
(Thursday 19:48)
Jamie Potter: sirius sirius sirius 
lily just sent me a winky face emoticon!!!!
what do i do???!!!?!!!?!?!
(Message read at 19:49)
______________
Private chat between Jamie Potter and Lily Evans 
(Thursday 19:51)
Jamie Potter: :D
_______________
Private chat between Jamie Potter and Lily Evans 
(Friday 16:30)
Jamie Potter: u ready?
Lily Evans: yes ! 
wher r u
Jamie Potter: cool
just reached ur door
______________
JILY LAMES TALK
(Friday 16:30)
Sirius Black: where tf r u guys 
its only me and marlene here
Mary Macdonald: just outta class 
be there in 10
Remus Lupin: home
Peter Pettigrew: At the ice cream parlor for ice cream
Dorcas Meadows: Oh get me some too Pete?
Remus Lupin: me too pls pete
Mary Macdonald: oooh id like some too
mint chocolate chip for me pls
Peter Pettigrew: Sure thing! wh abt the rest of u??
Dorcas Meadowes : Strawberry! with a lot of strawberries as toppings!!!
Remus Lupin : devils choc ofc
Sirius Black : guys can v focus at the matter in hand??!!
also charcoal ice cream pls
just as black as my soul
Peter Pettigrew : ...k
U marls??
Marlene Mckinnon:..........vanilla. thx
____________
JILY LAMES TALK
(Friday 16:45)
Sirius Black: where tf r u guys?!!??!?
theyll b here any sec
Remus Lupin: sirius everyone is here
except for u and marlene
where tf r u guys?!!???
Marlene McKinnon: we r at the spirit store 
where tf r u guys????
Sirius Black: i told u guys to meet us here
Dorcas Meadowes: Wtf is a spirit store?
Sirius Black: a store that sees our spirit 
Peter Pettigrew: Ur ice creams starting to melt!!!!!!
Mary MacDonald: oh the halloween costume shop?
why?
Sirius Black: to dress up ofc
Marlene Mckinnon: honesty guys?
lily and jamie will recognise us if v go like this
and v cant afford that!!!!
Remus Lupin: that is smart….
didnt expect it from u both
Sirius Black: fuck you remus
fuck you
Dorcas Meadowes: So what are our disguises??
Marlene McKinnon: dog ears and nose 
a gily suit
a moon suit
rat whiskers and ears
a tree hat and glasses
and a big floppy hat and sunglasses for my beautiful girlfriend
Dorcas Meadowes: ………….
Peter Pettigrew: Dorcas and remus took ur ice cream btw
Something about it melting, u being stupid and u not being here
 Sirius Black: remy how could u
Marlene McKinnon: ffs dorcas 
i thought u loved me
Peter Pettigrew: Who’s wearing what costume?
Remus Lupin: also sirius 
do u really think that we can pull it off?
itd be tooo obvious 
Mary Macdonald: nd theyll realise that we r spying on them
Sirius Black: they couldnt even realise that they had a crush on each other until i intervened
do you think that theyll realise that its us???????
Remus Lupin: …...point
Sirius Black: so im wearing the dog ears and nose 
marls gonna wear the gily suit
the moon hat and the silver suit is for u remus 
Marlene Mckinnon: the rat whiskers r for peter 
and the tree hat and sunglasses r for mary :)
____________
JILY LAMES TALK
(Friday 16:55)
Sirius Black: ok now positions!
marlene mary and i r sitting in the booth behind the big fat hydrangea 
nd remus peter nd dorcas r gonna sit 2 rows behind them in the corner table outside
Peter Pettigrew: How do u even know where the r gonna sit?????!!!!!???
Marlene Mckinnon: v bribed the receptionist obviously
Sirius Black: she will make sure that they sit second in the row between the hydrangeas and the window 
Remus Lupin: how can v hear them if v r outside??
Marlene Mckinnon: oh hush remus 
ever heard of privacy?
Remus Lupin: wtf do u think we r doing rn??!!?!??!?!!
Dorcas Meadowes: Making sure the date goes perfectly?
Sirius Black: thank u dorcas
Mary Macdonald: yeah!
exactly 
Remus Lupin: …………
i give up 
Peter Pettigrew: Just now?
Thought u gave up when Jamie successfully insulted Lily two yers back when in fact she was supposed to ask her out on a date :/
Sirius Black: that was a good laugh
___________
JILY LAMES TALK
(Friday 17:04)
Peter Pettigrew: Ok they’re sitting rn 
Dorcas Meadowes: Don’t they look cute together
Remus Lupin: do i hv to wear this silvery rocky suit?!??!
Sirius Black: yes
and yes they look perfect 
our ship is finally sailing 
Dorcas Meadowes: Is is is Jamie stuffing a breadstick in her nose
Peter Pettigrew: No I think she’s trying to look like a walrus
Remus Lupin: she does not need to embarrass herself more
Mary Macdonald: u really think this is anything compared to the time when she tripped over her cat and fell on lilys bday cake?
Sirius Black: lolol
the bruise she left him with lasted for two weeks
Dorcas Meadowes: I stg that woman has the best boxing skills
Marlene Mckinnon: dorcas!!!! not me????
im ur girlfriend!!!
Mary Macdonald: lolololol
she thought that jamie did it on purpose for years lol
Marlene McKinnon: and why tf is lily doing the same
i thought she had more sense than that
Remus Lupin: love can do that to you ya know
Sirius Black: u would know
Marlene McKinnon: ohhh look jamie snorted the breadstick out of her mouth!!
neat
Mary Macdonald: lily did it too
Mary Macdonald: i think she has enough sense to not offend lily 
Remus Lupin: ya think?
u want me to remind u about all the times she offended lily?
Peter Pettigrew: Yeah so much that she hated Jamie
Sirius Black: nah she didnt 
if anything lily hates how much she likes her now
Marlene Mckinnon: do u think theyll order soup?
Sirius Black: yeah ig
jamie wants it to be all fancy
Marlene McKinnon: pls dont order tomato soup
Mary Macdonald: it awfully looked a lot like the waiter said no tomato soup
Peter Pettigrew: Really? Lily hates tomatoes why would Jamie order em
Thought she wouldn’t today
At least
Sirius Black: thank hell jamie didnt order the tomato one
Dorcas Meadowes: Remember when Jamie made marinara for Lily to impress her lol
Remus Lupin: that plan backfired soo bad 
Marlene Mckinnon at least lilys prank to get back at her was awesome
Sirius Black: that was such a power move!!!
and including taylor’s song
shehgeueytoaknd
Remus Lupin: tho she coloured her cat the so called emerald green and not key lime green and v had to listen to her go on and on abt how lily knows her fav colour 
Mary Macdonald: jamie continued to think that it meant that she knew it for three months
:/
Dorcas Meadowes: As if u didnt like it
Mary Macdonald: lol i did love it
Peter Pettigrew: They are bonkers 
Dorcas Meadowes: Bonkers for each other
Sirius Black: lol
Dorcas Meadowes: Their soup’s here
Sirius Black: spinach soup???
ewww jamie 
Peter Pettigrew: Ahh creamy mushroom soup for Lil ig
Awesome choice 
Mary Macdonald: they really ought to try new things
smh
___________
JILY LAMES TALK
(Friday 17:16)
Remus Lupin: wh did u guys order?
we ordered a lasagna 
Marlene Mckinnon:?uhh same 
ohhh look 
Peter Pettigrew: The waiter’s back with pasta for both of them YAY
Do you guys think that they realised that we are spying on them??
Marlene Mckinnon: nah they’re hopeless Pete so no
Sirius Black: thank hell that they r cute
Remus Lupin: lol
Dorcas Meadowes: 3 yrs ago I wouldnt have thought that they would be here together on a date
Mary Macdonald: hell they woulnt have even been here as friends 
Remus Lupin: or come here with us
Marlene Mckinnon: lily didnt even kno that she is bi then
Dorcas Meadowes: Yeah
It was quite a rough time for her
Peter Pettigrew: Guyssss
I have a question 
Dorcas Meadowes: Shoot Pete 
Peter Pettigrew: Why is the group name curly squad?
I mean only Dorcas’s hair is curly I only gathered that much
Dorcas Meadowes: Lol no Pete
Sirius Black: LOLOLOL
Marlene Mckinnon: lolll 
Dorcas Meadowes Ohk so
None of us here are just straight so we’re curly lol 
Sirius Black: lil nd i r bi
u r ace
dorcas nd mary r pans
remus is gay
jamie is lesbian 
Marlene Mckinnon: i am bi too 
u already knew that but still
Sirius Black: so yeah thats why 
Peter Pettigrew: Oh wow
Ok
Thanks guys 
Sirius Black: np pete 
Peter Pettigrew: Jamie just leaned over to brush the remnants of pasta from lilys lips!!!!!!!!
Mary Macdonald: thats soo cute they r perfect
Sirius Black: nauseating more like
Dorcas Meadowes: I’m just revelling in the fact that she didnt brush him off
Marlene Mckinnon: thats second year of uni lily
even first fits in the category 
Peter Pettigrew: and she held her hand!!!!!
Bold
Sirius Black: is that…...snep
Remus Lupin: snep?????
Dorcas Meadowes: Where
Sirius Black: behind u guys
Remus Lupin: OHHHH FUCK
Mary Macdonald: do u think that he knows abt their date
Sirius Black: well jamie did post it on her insta so…….
Dorcas Meadowes: Oh shit
Peter Pettigrew: Shit alright
Marlene Mckinnon: hes coming over ig
Mary Macdonald: yup hes in
Sirius Black: WHYYYYYY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME GOD
COULDNT YOU LET MY SHIP LIVE IN PEACE!!!!
Remus Lupin: well u know what they say abt cannons sinking a ship :/
Sirius Black: remus theodore lupin u dare say that jily lames is not cannon
Marlene Mckinnon: remus ralph lupin wtf
Dorcas Meadowes: Remy, how could you?
Peter Pettigrew: Why would you say that Remus?
Mary Macdonald: remus john lupin u take that back right this instant
oh we r playing call remus wrong names 
sry I didnt realise
 Remus Lupin: i am sry guys I ship jily as much as u do
Sirius Black: LAMES
Remus Lupin: but i had to lol
i think v should go stop him from disturbing them
Mary Macdonald: hes already headed their way
its too late
Marlene Mckinnon: i s2g i will punch snep today if he does anything to them
Sirius Black: ill tackle him 
Marlene McKinnon: perfect
Mary Macdonald: v might blow our cover too
not that im worried abt that
tho they might not appreciate the sentiment 
Sirius Black: v shld go
Dorcas Meadowes: I feel like they'll want to handle this themselves
But ok!
Mary Macdonald: ok he hates u and remus the most so dorcas and i should go first 
Sirius Black: but im their best friend
Dorcas Meadowes: Too late they’re already talking
Sirius Black: NOOOOOO
Remus Lupin: ig he just mentioned siris name
Sirius Black: seems that way
if he says anything abt jamie or reg i will lose it
Dorcas Meadowes: I think he’s berating lily for being out with jamie….
Mary Macdonald: ofc what else does the greasy slime ball know
Sirius Black: ok im gonna go
Peter Pettigrew: How to grease your hair 101??
Sirius Black: lol yes
Marlene Mckinnon: is he
is he pointing over to us
Mary Macdonald:k they r looking at us
Peter Pettigrew: Did Lily just call ur name out, guys?
Dorcas Meadowes: Mary, make sure Marls and Sirius don’t do anything stupid
_________
“Sirius, no!” Remus shouted, as the boy in question marched over to Jamie’s and Lily’s table. 
“Well, hello there snivellus. Looking positively greasy today aren’t we?” Sirius taunted. 
“What are you doing here Black?” Snape sneered. 
Sirius hummed before responding, “We just fancied a dinner here. What about you?”
“Looking for something to grease?” Marlene chimed. 
“Marlene,” Lily warned. 
“Thought I’d visit my friend Lily here. That’s all Black,” Snape answered. 
“More like crash her date,” Dorcas muttered, as she joined the group around Lily and Jamie’s table with Remus, Mary, and Peter.
“I am not your friend Snape.” Lily stood up, accompanied by Jamie.
“Lily!” The greasy haired man faced her pleadingly, “I care about you a lot. That’s why I’m telling you to not date Potter! Thinking that you’re bi may well just be a phase that’ll go away, Lily. Moreover, she doesn’t really care about you! She just thinks that you are some sort of prize to be won.” 
Jamie looked like she wanted to dislocate Snape’s jaw, her fists curled at her sides. But the warning glance Lily threw her, made her insides calm down 
“You know nothing about me Snape,” Lily said, with gritted teeth. “Now go away before I dislocate your nose.” Sirius whistled in support. 
“Lily, we’ve been best friends since we were ten. I know you, Lily. Please listen to me,”
“If you were my best friend you’d have supported me instead of behaving like an ignorant ass. Now please go away.”
“Lily, please.”
Barely a moment later, Lily’s fist connected with Snape’s nose. Blood leaked down his front, while the rest of the gang rushed to vocally support her. 
 “You’ll regret that Lily!” Snape glared threateningly. 
Before long, Sirius had tackled Snape to the ground, and accidentally splattered the lasagna the waiter was bringing over to their table, on Snape’s head. 
“I...“ Lily began.
“You can save your breath, Lils,” Sirius started, “he’s a harmless, entitled prick”
“Looks like you have a lot of grease to get rid of, Snep,” Marlene announced. 
“And Snep, pro tip: the only shampoo that keeps the grease at bay is the Sleakeasy shampoo. You should try it out!” Jamie, ever so helpful, advised, and moved to position her hand behind Lily’s back. 
“Sorry about that Sir, we’ll cover the charges for the ill-fated lasagna,” Sirius apologised to the waiter as he helped him up from the ground. 
“Could you please get him out of this shop? He’s been troubling us, as you can see,” Dorcas asked, politely. 
The waiter simply looked baffled. However, he nodded and successfully escorted Snape out of the restaurant. 
“Now this is going to be quite the first date story to tell at the wedding.” Peter spoke up for the first time since they gathered at the table between the hydrangeas and the windows. 
Jamie blushed and looked around, anywhere but at Lily, though her hand never left Lily’s back, while the redhead laughed at her.
“Well, since we’re all together, we can have dessert and you can continue spying on us while sitting at our table,” Lily said. “Nice ears you’ve got there, Sirius. Though I’d prefer Dorcas’s floppy hat.”
“Yeah! I personally love the whiskers, Pete. Seriously, Marlene? A gily suit? Inconspicuous much? And Remus, you have enough sense to stop them!” Jamie put on. 
Remus just shrugged, his big crescent shaped moon hat toppling Mary’s tree hat downwards. “Sorry,” he said, bending to pick it up. 
“Thanks,” she said, when he gave the hat to her, “why did we agree to wear these again?”
“So we would be incognito, Mary”
“And we were successful! These oblivious dorks didn’t even realise that it was us until old snivelly pointed it out,” Sirius stated.
“Also, we did have ice-cream before coming here, so you guys should continue, we’ll leave,” Dorcas said. 
“Hey! We didn’t get to eat that ice-cream! You and Remus took it from us,” Marlene reprimanded. 
“Yeah! So we’ll be staying here and you guys can shoo away,” Sirius included. 
“Well in that case you can all leave and get yourselves ice cream while Lily and I can finally enjoy our date,” Jamie, now pushing Sirius, and shoo-ing the others to the doors, said. 
“Say what you want Jamie, I am enjoying our date,” expressed Lily. 
“You are?” Jamie turned around, completely forgetting the others in the room. 
“Well, looks like they’re more nauseating and lame than before. Should we go?” Asked Marlene. 
“Nah. Let’s just sit outside and spy on them through the window,” Sirius smirked. 
34 notes · View notes
rickriordanfandam · 3 years
Text
opinions on riordanverse ; my edition
a lot of people have been doing this so i decided why not right. probably gna lose some followers or smth but anyways. pls respect my opinions! if u disagree, thats fine, but please be polite. unless any of my opinions strikes u as morally wrong then pls point it out to me respectfully. thanks!
- i actually liked drew. im so sorry to everyone who hates her but full offence, why. think about it this way ok, first of all drew became hc because silena died. silena was the traitor, the one who betrayed chb, yet after she died campers celebrated her as a hero? and then drew suddenly has to replace her and live up to idk that legacy she left behind,, when all of a sudden this girl named piper swoops in and takes her place. idk abt u but i wld be salty abt that too. not only that, but as an asian, the chances of drew having faced racism/bullying as a child is pretty high (she studies at brooklyn academy). which means that when she finds out shes a demigod, and arrives at chb where most of the campers are white (this is an assumption btw), she’d obviously be scared of being bullied for her skin color right?? so the first thing she wld do before the campers get to bully her is to bully them before they can do so. (sentence structure here is wack i apologize) ofc this might not even have happened, drew could have had a perfect childhood && was a b1tch for no reason, BUT EVEN THEN HER ROLE AS A BULLY WAS PRETTY VITAL BECAUSE THAT FURTHER SHOWED THE CONTRAST BETWEEN HER AND PIPER,, HIGHLIGHTING PIPER AS A HERO//GOOD CHARACTER,, AND THEREFORE MAKING READERS LIKE PIPER MORE. anyway stop hating on drew please. ALSO WHY IS THIS SO LONGA SDFJHG
- jason isnt bland, the fandom just kinda erased his backstory (thanks to @pjohoo-memes for the phrasing lol)
- reynabeth wouldnt have lasted/would have broken up several times. idk i just see them as two extremely powerful characters who have firm opinions and will definitely clash at some point. in a platonic relationship,, i can see them as really good friends but as lovers? idk i just think theyll break up
- PIPABETH
- i dont really like jercy,, i see them as better friends than lovers. also idt jason and percy were that close..?
- the dam and not my type jokes are srsly cringey and were never funny. ik that seems hypocritical since my username literally makes use of the dam joke but honestly i dont actually like the joke. its not funny to me and has never been funny
- the seven were not best friends. they definitely argued,, and honestly probably werent as close as the fandom makes them seem. like ure dumped with 6 other people, out of which u only know a few. my introverted ass would have jumped off the argo 2 quicker than leo valdez could bomb camp jupiter up. also leo was a dick to frank. so what if frank is bigger sized?? thats not a valid reason to tease him
- the fandom needs to stop hating on octavian while worshipping luke. if u hate luke and u say u hate octavian too, then okay. but if u tell me ure a luke stan but u despise octavian?? imma disagree w u. luke was worse than octavian im sorry. first of all, octavian being a dick was kinda justified. hes been after the praetor position for so long, and everyone keeps saying to “wait for jason” when suddenly this dude, whos a son of NEPTUNE (neptune wasnt liked much by romans), and the camp decides to make him praetor?? dude i would be pissed off big time. and then afterwards, he finds out that greek demigods are real and the dude they made praetor is greek. AND THEN GREEK DEMIGODS COME TO CJ AND ONE OF THEM BOMB IT UP?? octavian has been told all his life that greeks are scum and this dude called leo valdez attacks cj. sure it was an accident, but did octavian know that? no. so it was honestly justified that he was such a salty prick im just saying. also some of yall be hating on octavian for cutting a teddy bear open and thats the funniest shit ive ever heard i swear 
- luke didnt go to elysium
- travis and connor stoll r way too underrated. the two have been head counselors of the hermes cabin since luke was revealed as a traitor, can u imagine the stress? luke, the person they probably looked up to as a brother, betrayed them. and they didnt even have time to process this when they were  thrown the roles of being hcs. that would have been so stressful and i would probably have broken down if i were them. the stoll brothers taking turns to wake up at ungodly hours because a new camper is crying and homesick and terrified, the stoll brothers having to comfort and take care of new campers, having to deal with the amount of people in that cramped space because not enough campers are being claimed fast enough. having to resolve issues between campers in the hermes cabin all the time. the stolls arent just comedic relief, and we need to stop treating them as such
- tratie shldve been canon idc idc
- demigods of the demeter cabin arent talked about enough and i love the fact that meg was demeters kid. like she isnt the child of one of the big three yet shes so powerful.
- we need to hype clarisse up more her character arc was phucking amazing 
- rachel is overhated. sis found out greek gods exist and regularly come down to earth to fuck around and went “ok cool”. queen shit behavior methinks
- the floor 19 crew of mcga is srsly underrated. like do u even remember halfborn gunderson, mallory keen, tj, etc??? bc i feel like we only remember samirah, magnus, alex, and sometimes blitz and hearthstone
- sadie (tkc) was kinda annoying at first. i like her more now tho but i rmb not liking her for a phat while
- tkc and mcga need more love
- carter kane and jason grace arent boring. theyre just really sweet boys who are too good for this world and yes yes yes 
- hazel and frank (especially frank) need to be hyped up more. i hardly ever see anything about them. also yall seem to forget that frank was literally made praetor and that even hecate admired hazel and was willing to fight beside her because of how powerful she was
- frazels age gap is kinda sketch but i still think theyre really cute
- nico definitely had trauma from going to tartarus on his own
- GROVER IS PERCYS BEST FRIEND
- annabeth isnt smarter than leo but neither is leo smarter than annabeth. ive seen a lot of discussions about who is smarter and heres my hot take on it: neither. theyre equally smart, just in different ways. leos a genius mathematically speaking. he has no issues solving math problems meant for people much, much older than him. annabeth on the otherhand, is great at strategies etc. she can make an army of 1000 more powerful than the enemy, even if theyre outnumbered. so in my opinion, both are equally as smart//u cant compare their intelligence, because their talents lie in two different areas.
- while i do agree rick riordan isnt a god and that hes bound to make mistakes,, AND that hes given us a lot of representation,, if the representation offends the people its sposed to represent, then theres a problem. im talking about piper as a poc and wearing feathers in her hair. im not a poc, so i cant speak for them on whether or not its wrong, because i dont know either. HOWEVER, i have seen multiple posts BY pocs talking about how they didnt really like rick’s representation of piper, and thats an issue. pocs have been and are still oppressed and discriminated against by many. as a white cis man, we cant really blame him for not knowing (tho he could have done a research,, asked some pocs,, idk), but by representing pocs in that manner, hes influencing impressionable kids/teens into thinking “oh pocs wear feathers in their hair all the time” etc, which isnt true. the pjo/hoo series is extremely successful, and kids who read the books will probably start forming inaccurate opinions on pocs. the amount of fan art that depicts piper with feathers in her hair dont help either. “but rick said so in the books, so its canon” yeah well rick isnt a god and he can get some things wrong at times. im not saying we should cancel him, im saying we should start educating ourselves and not spread false info like pocs wearing feathers in their hair all the time. also that snake song shit where she sang Summertime was just- yeah. bc heres the thing you can be racist, and still include minorities, but portray them in a racist way. And even then, ignorance isn't a thing to admire. Getting those facts wrong still has a major impact. It continues to perpetuate racist stereotypes.
“ With the feather thing, I looked it up myself; it takes less than five minutes to figure out that Cherokees don't braid feathers into their hair. I didn't grow up in the country where my parents are from. I have many other first/second generation American friends who have also been through that, with a bit of a disconnect from their culture. But something that most of us have in common is that when we didn't know something, and when our parents weren't that big of a help, we looked it up. We sought out resources online and through other people from our culture to be able to connect more with where we came from. Some of that took a Google search. So I find it hard to believe that Piper, a girl who Rick's trying to portray as someone who is attempting to connect with her culture and is totally against racist stereotypes, wouldn't know that eagle feathers aren't supposed to be braided into your hair casually. She may be disconnected from her culture, but she's also shown to want to connect back to it. Piper wouldn't be casually braiding feathers into her hair while also telling off people for being racist. It makes no sense.” - reddit thread (down below) 
for those of yall who wanna know more please please read this, it has a lot of things i wanna add in here : https://www.reddit.com/r/camphalfblood/comments/gy3gl2/piper_mcleans_portrayal_is_innacurate/ 
as well as https://finding-my-culture.tumblr.com/post/189422373260/maxie-ratties-and-cattie-finding-my-culture 
i will be posting screenshots of these in future posts so if ure viewing this on ig and u dont have tumblr,, dont worry 
- the fact that most of the strong female characters in the series refuse to be “girly”, and ngl i dont really like that. just because ure girly doesnt mean u cant be strong. 
- piper would have been a great way for him to start making the strong characters act girlier, but instead he went with the “I’m not like other girls” trope which is quite obnoxious to hear constantly, and I don’t think it’s necessarily great for younger girls to read that idea growing up.  the closest we've ever had to a strong female character who was also into "girly" things was Silena. when I was younger I admired Piper's "I'm not like other girls" thing, but then I got older and realized that the whole mentality of "not like other girls" is super obnoxious, and a little bit toxic
i have a heck load more that i cant rmb rn but yeah feel free to add more 
130 notes · View notes
bl--ankhaeji · 4 years
Text
Jisung
Pairing - Jisung x chubby*Reader
Genre - Fluff
Warning - Suggestive content, insecurities 
A/N - Soo this is a Jisung timestamp but this is done differently than how most do their timestamps also the Jisung in this is different than “usual” Jisung just to let y’all know. He’s getting older so I feel as if the content in here is not that bad and if any of you have problems with Jisung being a regular teenage boy with hormones then oh fucking well. If you want to keep seeing him as a child then this is not for you.  
W. Count - I don’t really know I didn’t look this time but ik it’s longer than I intended
5:30 
As you laid sideways across your bed trying to find the perfect position. You heard your mom in the kitchen cooking what you hope is dinner. Your stomach wailing as soon as the thought crosses your mind. ‘Ah I found it’ you think as the immediate comfort of the perfect laying spot begins to set deep within your body.
 You take a look at your phone and start back reading your story that was shining on the screen. It was starting to escalate as the currently featured side gay couple finally stopped lying to themselves and admittedly jumped each others bones. You feel the little tingle start in the pit of your stomach, it was just getting good when a message came through.
Jisungpwark 💚💚😗🤤🥰🤪:
BABEEEEE 
AHHHH
IM BOREDD
Come play mario kart with me 
You:
UGGHHH
But I just found the perfect laying spot 
And my mom’s cooking dinner 
Tell me why I should get up and come over? what’s in it for me 
Jisungpwark 💚💚😗🤤🥰🤪:
Maybe because you love me and dont wanna see me
 suffer from boredom 
You: 
Do I really love you that much though?
That’s the question of the hour
Jisungpwark 💚💚😗🤤🥰🤪:
First off that hurt 
Second of course you love me or else you wouldnt be 
dating me for 7 years now 
You: 
You forget about that time we broke up in fifth
grade 
Jisungpwark 💚💚😗🤤🥰🤪:
That was for ONE DAY ok 
If you come over I promise to let you win at mario kart
     “What the hell?” you exclaimed slightly outraged at the bullshit he just sent to your phone. Sitting up you feel the competitiveness start to spike. “Did he really just challenge me like that?”
     You get out of bed and start to put your shoes on, “He knows damn well that I can beat his ass without him ‘letting me win.’” 
You:
Stop fucking lying whore you know damn well I can 
beat your ass I mario kart 
See now I have to come over and whoop you at your
own video game
I’ll be over in 10
     Part of you knows Jisung said that on purpose but that didn’t stop you from taking the bait still.
     Walking out of your room you go into the kitchen and see your mother almost done with dinner, the sweet aroma of the food has your mouth watering, stopping for a second you ponder if you should really go play mario kart. 
     “Hey sweets, dinner is almost ready.” your mother turns to you and smiles, taking in your jacket and shoes and she looks at you questiongly.
     Walking around to your mom you give her a hug and a kiss on the cheek as you grab your car keys that sit behind her. “Hey I came to let you know that I was gonna head over to Jisung’s for a little to beat him at mario kart. He threatened me so I have to show him what’s up.”  Hearing your statement, one that she has heard before, your mother laughs and gives you an ok before she recommends just staying the night, knowing that you won’t be back anytime soon. 
     Thinking about it you go and pack a bag. Going towards the front door you’re about to step out when your mom calls you back in the kitchen to which you see her sitting at the table with a plate of food as she slides a container with enough for both you and Jisung. “Thank you mama.” you say smiling so wide that it almost hurt, feeling happy that you get to eat some of f/f(favorite food).
     “You’re welcome sweets. Oh and before I forget, be safe.”
     You left out a huff of air telling your mother that you will be careful driving so she has nothing to worry about.
     In a sing-song voice she goes,“That’s not what I meant.” As you open your mouth to ask what she meant she cuts you off by sliding something across the table. 
     “Mom...what is that. ‘Please don’t let it be what I think it is.’ But as you read the box your fears are confirmed. It is condoms. “Mom what the- EW mom no it’s not, we’re not-” she cuts you off with a raised hand. 
     “Sweetie you’re not in trouble. I know you and Jisung have been together for a very long time, and I trust and love you both. But you’re of the age where you do things like that and you may not feel comfortable telling me, but love safe sex is nothing to be ashame-”
     Never having been this flustered in your life you frantically tried to get her to stop,“MOM. I…” Fidgeting with your hands you start to awkwardly look around the kitchen as if it was the first time you had ever seen it. “...We don’t do those types of things.” 
     “Ok darling, but you never know what might happen.” She states with the smuggest look on her face, winking as she hands you four condoms. “I’m not endorsing it but I know that if you want to do it then there’s nothing I could do to stop you so take these. Also you might want to go ahead and get to his house, your phone has been buzzing for a while now.” She states whilst she started to eat the food that was on her plate. 
     You couldn’t get out of that house quick enough, seeing as how you almost fell walking out of the door. Settling down in the car you release the biggest cringe you’ve ever had in your life. “AHHH ew what the fuck was that!” you exclaim feeling the condoms that burned in your pockets, as if they were trying to set your pants on fire so that they could get put to good use. 
     Finally calming down your phone buzzes with another message from Jisung. You see that he’s left various messages questioning where you are or what's taking so long. Some stating that you must be dead. You shake your head at your silly boyfriend as you reply to his many messages. With a light sigh you put the key in the ignition and back out of your driveway.  
     It was then that you started to look back at you and Jisung’s relationship. You guys started dating in fifth grade when you both got dared to spend seven minutes in heaven at you guys long time friend, Jeongin’s, birthday party. He still holds the fact that the only reason you too got together was because of him, but ever since then you and Jisung have been going strong. 
     Except for that one day in fifth grade when you guys broke up a week after you had gotten together because Mina Jameson had convinced you that Jisung would never want a ‘bludder whale’ like you. Ha jokes on her she’s had five STD’s this year alone and at least two pregnancy scares and she didn’t even know how to say blubber so who’s on top now. 
     Ever since you were a child you’ve always been bigger than most girls and it did make you feel insecure for a very long time, but if it wasn’t for Jisung who reassured you and showered you with as much love as he could every time you slipped you don’t know what life would be like. 
     You loved him with everything you had. 
     You and Jisung had never gone past small makeouts. They barely even involved tongue, there’s no way that things would just escalate tonight out of basically nowhere. Right?
     Yea. Anyways Jisung is too shy for that even though sometimes he could be a cheeky asshole and I don’t know if I’m ready.  
     Seeing that you’ve made it to Jisung’s house you take a look at the time and see that it had been almost two hours as it was 6:45. Damn, well at least I brought food. 
     You greeted your soft looking boyfriend clad in a hoodie that is slightly big on him and Nike joggers, he almost tackled you to the ground when he saw the food in your hands. When he asked what took so long you just told him it was the food. You guys ate the food that your mom gave you and started playing mario kart.
8:23
     After about 15 rematches most of which you won Jisung’s mom called him into the living room. She had an emergency at work and she wanted him to know that she wouldn’t be back till tomorrow.
     “So babe, what are we gonna do now? We could watch a movie or...” Jisung whispered, trailing off as he got in bed next to you and started to survey every inch of your face. It felt as if he was looking into your soul. You felt like he could see every single flaw on your face and you did not like it. As soon as he started leaning in moving his hand to your pillowy waist your mind flashed to the conversation you had with your mother. 
     ‘Is this it? Does he want to do it?’ Overwhelming thoughts started to cloud your mind and pretty soon you found yourself jerking back once you felt the tip of his nose touch yours. The sound of the sheets moving filled the room as you stood up off of the bed. 
     “Uhh it’s getting late, A movie sounds nice I think I’m just gonna go shower right quick and we can watch the movie when I get out, ok?” You state as you quickly gather your shorts that you brought and a hoodie out of Jisung’s closet, and rush into his en suite bathroom almost slamming the door behind you.   
     Turning on the shower to make sure he didn’t hear you, you immediately start to whisper shout, “Ah! What the fuck was that, who the fuck was that and what did he do with my boyfriend. Jisung has never been like that before.” Tying your hair up you hop in the shower feeling the water pelt your skin as you decided to forget about it, but you couldn’t deny the twinge you felt in your stomach every time you thought about how he looked when he stared at you like that. 
9:34
     The movie was boring so you guys decided to play games again. Only for Jisung to see that he was about to lose against you in Mortal Kombat and in an effort to be a little bitch he tackled you. Now wrestling you yell at him in mock anger for ruining the game before you could kick his head off. As you flipped the both of you over so that you were on top you started to pettily slap his arm. 
     “Ahh Park Jisung you dick! I almost won why’d you do tha-” You had gotten too comfortable and loosed up your legs that were caging him in and he was able to flip you mid sentence. It was then you noticed what a compromising position you both were in, it looked somewhat akin to the basic missionary. 
     Letting out quickened breaths you started to heat up as Jisung stayed in between your legs. You could see the slight perspiration sort of dampen his hair. The game made a sound that surprised you a little causing you to sort of jerk your body. At that Jisung let out a groan that sounded like it was painful. 
     Your body alerts and you start to question him,“Jisung I’m sorry are you ok? What happened?” A ferocious blush starts to race across his cheeks. He avoids your eyes and tells you that it was nothing and that he’s fine.
     “Jisung stop lying and would you let me up now, you’ve been laying on me for a while an-” Cool slightly wet lips touch yours. A little startled at first you tense up but then his lips start to move against yours and the tension in your body slowly unwinds till nothing is left but pure bliss. His lips slowly caress yours and this feels like nothing you’ve ever felt in your life. The passion and the want that he puts into kissing you has you going crazy. 
     Once a steady rhythm is set you move your lower body in an effort to get comfortable and Jisung groans again, and you immediately feel something against your leg and you get flustered because now you know why he groaned and you feel like an idiot for not figuring it out sooner. 
     Jisung wants more, more of you, more of this. The high that this is putting him on is euphoric and for now he doesn’t want to stop. He didn’t say anything but when you came out of his bathroom in his hoodie that fit just like a dress because of the height difference and the illusion that you had nothing on under got him so riled up that he almost couldn’t breathe. It was always like that when it came to you. He loved you so much that it was at most times suffocating. He slips his tongue out of his mouth and just barely grazes it against your bottom lip as if he was testing out the water temp in a pool. 
     You feel something wet against your lips realizing that it was Jisung’s tongue and you quickly almost embarrassingly so open your mouth to let him in. His tongue ventures farther into your mouth and for a little bit there you both are, in the middle of the floor in his room exploring each other, tasting each other, and it is as if there is no one or nothing in the world except for you two. 
     Soon enough without realizing Jisung starts to slowly grind his semi-erection right on to your heated core. The feeling was heavenly and neither of you wanted to stop. 
     He lifts off of your lips so that you both could breath but he soon started to kiss all over your neck, and you throw your head back and release a moan that sounded like heaven to his ears. Grabbing your soft plushy sides he starts to feel anywhere that he can and you tense up out of slight fear at what could be his reaction. He runs one hand down to your thigh, lifting it so that it’s placed on his hip softly squeezing while the other starts to make its way to the hem of your hoodie pulling it up slightly, and that’s when the thoughts came. 
     You quickly pushed Jisung off of you and sat up trying to pull the hoodie as far down your body that it could reach. You looked toward Jisung to see that he had a blush the color of a strawberry and his lips were swollen to look even more soft and inviting than normal. Standing up you rush to his bathroom and close the door leaving a severely confused and turned on Jisung on the floor.  
     Looking toward the mirror, multiple hickies are splattered across your neck and when you lift your hand to rub against them you jolt a little at how tender they were. You could also see where it looked as if you had taken a shot at the kylie jenner lip challenge. But that wasn’t where your mind was at, you were focused on what just happened out there. Thoughts of Jisung possibly seeing your chubby stomach riddled with stretch marks made immediate panic course through your veins. 
     You normally were so good with not thinking about things like that Jisung having helped you be able to get here, but now when he was on the precipice of Jisung seeing your body you couldn’t think about anything but the possible disgust at what you really looked like. 
     It’s not like you didn’t trust him or anything but when insecurity strikes it strikes hard. You consider telling Jisung about these feelings considering you always have in the past, but what if he feels as if you’re doubting his love for you and he gets mad.
     You realize that you’ve probably been in the bathroom for a long time and you didn’t want Jisung to worry so you muster up the courage and with a determined release of air you open the door. Only to see that Jisung is not where you left him. 
     “I wonder where he’s at?” You speak into the air until you wonder what time it is and see that it��s 10:15. ‘WTF we were making out for that long’
     Thirty minutes have passed and Jisung is still not back. As soon as you get up to go look for him he walks into the room. 
     “Where were you? You’ve been gone for a little over half an hour.” 
     Jisung looks at you and when he sees your truly confused face he shyly thwarts his eyes and lifts his hand to rub his neck at the realization that he’ll actually have to explain. But before he can you see his shy gaze and it clicks in your mind what he could’ve been doing regarding what you felt earlier. Biting the inside of your lip you tell him nevermind stating that you already know. He apologizes and says he had to do something because he didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.      
11:00
     The last fifteen minutes have been filled with an agonisingly awkward aura in the air. You and Jisung have been sitting up against the headboard of his bed staring at some movie on tv but you knew that neither of you were actually paying attention. Jisung’s warm hand slides toward yours and upon contact you jump up and away. 
     “Babe what’s wrong? You’ve been jumpy ever since what happened a while ago. Is everything ok? Did I do something wrong?” Jisung asks with slight guilt in his voice thinking he was the problem. You told him no but he didn’t believe and you kept trying to deny his accusations saying that you were just tired but he wouldn’t take that for an answer.
     He grabbed your chin and sort of gently forced you to look at him and when you saw his warm eyes filled with nothing but love you had no choice but to break down and tell him. 
     Hot salty tears ran down your face and he took his thumb and used it to wipe your tears as you described what happened when he tried to go under the hoodie. You had to continuously reassure him that it was not his fault, but your own. 
     “I promise Jisung you did nothing wrong. I love you so much we’ve been through everything together. It’s my fault for feeling this way even when you constantly shower me with love. I just sometimes, I feel like you shouldn’t like me and when you tried to reach under my hoodie it’s just like I didn’t want my fears to come true once you see my body.” 
     “...Babe I- I don’t know how to approach this like I want you to know how much I truly love you. I honestly love your body so much but I don’t want you to think that's all though.” Jisung stated nervously mildly irritated at himself for not being able to properly express his feelings for you. Starting to think you honestly couldn’t believe why you didn’t trust him. He was your mouse, your tall boi, your marshmallow, your love, and possibly even your life.
     “C’mere” Jisung stated in his deep soothing voice as he pulled you into his lap in a straddle position. 
     What Jisung didn’t know was that you loved whenever you got to sit in his lap, it made you feel giddy inside. 
     Jisung totally knew that you loved to sit in his lap.
     “It’s ok, we don’t have to rush. If you don’t feel comfortable showing your body too me yet then that’s ok...One request though.” He states with a small smile and a single finger held in the air. “Can we at least keep making out like this because I’ve been holding myself back and after tonight I don’t think I can do that anymore.” He promptly flashes a slightly cocky smirk to which you answer with a smack on the arm earning a laugh from him. 
     Wondering why you even date him you give him a lingering kiss on the lips and snuggle into his chest. 
     “Y/n, I noticed that earlier when you were talking about what happened you called this hoodie yours. I just wanted you to- ACK stop choking me- AKKK.” 
Although he was currently being choked he was happy, because he knew that you were ok.
302 notes · View notes
ingayderzim · 4 years
Note
not to be that person who asks a googleable question but wtf is hazbin hotel bc i googled it and the only “critical” thing i could find was a typo-ridden article of someone saying it has good animation and its haters are stupid. i was able to glean what it is/what it’s about but idk about the discourse lmao
Im actually so glad u asked this. Here's the lowdown, this is my definitive answer to hazbin shit from here on out, unless new info comes about of course.
Hazbin hotel is an independent cartoon by vivziepop. Most people (that ive seen) have agreed that the pilot of the show really isnt that great but the reason it has so many fans is bc of the entertaining livestreams, massive amounts of canon content produced (she has had these characters for years), unique art style, and the characters. (Ass ugly but unique.)
Its haters are totally justified bc of some of the "controversial" (read: bad) things vivziepop has done. Here's the conclusion that my friends and classmates (several of whom are Black, one Hispanic woman, and one trans woman...nellie if ur reading this i 💜 u) and i came to after discussing this stuff. I am NOT saying "well my black/trans friend said it's ok so i dont have to think about it!" this is based on a few different conversations that my friends and i have had about this topic so what im saying is that my opinion was formed by talking about this situation with multiple people affected by the controversy.
One controversial thing is a drawing u can easily find on google (called beastiality.jpg i believe?) It's a cropped (chest and up, but hes obv naked) drawing of vivziepops character, drawn by vivziepop, moaning, with a snake around him. The character is 17. Many people have interpreted this as child porn. I dont think this image is pornographic, i think it's a stupid joke (it was even tagged as a joke iirc) and completely inappropriate but since it's 8 years old on top of not being porn, i think it's just an example of a dumb drawing. That being said, i would NEVER argue that someone who is uncomfortable w the drawing (im uncomfortable with it! It's gross just not porn) or considers it porn is wrong. They are entitled to that opinion and i would never expose them to vivziepops work or talk about her stuff around them if they expressed to me that they disliked the image.
Another thing is that she drew a doodle of two racist TERFs. This is the one where my friends of color, my friends who are black, and my friends who are trans women took the lead. I sat back for this part and here's their and my opinion on this after talking about it and verbally going through this whole situation.
She was following these women (who had done blackface and stuff) and drew art of them. The art was a "quick doodle" that she did apologize for and she said she didn't realize the extent of their beliefs. She knew they werent great but hadnt consumed much of their content in depth. I believe her bc while ive never followed anyone as bad, ive certainly followed some pieces of shit and didnt notice for months simply bc im not online all the time and bc of the volume of people i follow, combined with the non chronological algorithms lately.
At the risk of screwing myself, im going to admit that there was about a year or so of my life where i enjoyed The Amazing Atheist. I was even subbed to him. I was a nonbinary lesbian (2 things he cant stand lmaoo) in catholic school and therefore i strictly watched his videos about theological stuff since thats what was frustrating me at the time. I had no clue the type of evil racist, transphobic, homophobic (yes ik hes bi), misogynistic things he thought, said, and did, bc i didnt watch those videos. I literally only watched select theological ones that could be of use to me while edgily debating my teachers (sorry mrs macdougal but u had it coming). I was about 15 at the time and im 19 now. Im sorry to everyone i hurt by ever having supported him. I had one of his quotes written in the inside of my religion notebook in high school. I regretted it and ripped the page out the moment i discovered the truth about him. I cant stress enough how much I HATE HIM. Thats an example of what i think happened here tho.
One of my friends who is a trans woman said (paraphrasing) "i think the worst thing shes done is that terf art but i believe the apology especially bc it was a quick drawing."
That being said, i would NEVER argue with someone who wanted nothing to do w vivziepop bc of this. That's their right. 100%. I would never expose them to her work after that.
The last thing i remember is something about a pedophilic couple in a comic but i heard it was a 17 year old and a 19 year old. Im 19 and if one of my peers did that i wouldnt say pedophile but id say ur a fucking weirdo, BUT, the kids were fake and being written by an adult so i can totally see her thinking that age gap is much less of a big deal than it really is. Like she forgot what it's like at this age. Idk how true any of that part is tho, i heard that info entirely secondhand.
Another thing to do with racism is that there's a joke within the show where one character says to the other
"don't get your taco in a twist"
"Was that supposed to be racist or sexist?"
"Whichever one pisses you off more"
I thought that was gross but one of my friends pointed out that vivziepop is of el salvadorian descent so that's her business. Like if i made a lesbian joke of equal or greater offensiveness than that and someone tried to call me lesbophobic over it id be like "that's literally my territory."
Oh speaking of which that character's name is vaggie and shes a lesbian but it's not pronounced w the same G you'd hear in "vagina." Vivziepop seems to name characters weirdly (like how in helluva boss theres a guy named blitzo and the o is silent) so maybe it's a pussy joke but i have no idea.
The animation was.................better than i could do, i wanna say the faces and gestures were good but god i remember there was a part with a car and my gf had to pause so i could laugh my ass off at it. I wouldn't describe the animation as a highlight but i liked the style in motion i thought it was a fun change. Vivziepops style is not appealing imo but i appreciate it as an art student and as someone whose friends all like she ra and steven universe where every character looks the goddamn motherfucking same, and while its chaotic and i dont care for it, the style actually works way better in motion than you'd think.
A good rule that i def use is to assume hazbin fans are guilty until proven innocent. If someone says they dont care about the discourse surrounding it and like it no matter what, RUN! They would support the show even if the creator was in fact a pedophile, or had done the blackface/was a terf herself! They probably support some horrible ppl and are probably "anti antis." A lot of them are minors tho so i'd say block and move on.
So, do i like it or not? Im an art student and all my friends like it so while i didnt think it was funny, i do fuck with it. At the convention this weekend my friends and i had a convo that led to me drawing an ahego hoodie where the faces were angel dust (a character's) face. It was a joke that i could make a killing by selling that in a booth at a con.
Theres really nothing compelling about the show but my friends like it so i join in on their conversations, and i do have a soft spot for angel dust bc he's like a worse, less amazing and gorgeous version of one of my characters, Candy, the love of my life.
A lot of people say the show was edgy/offensive and maybe im just desensitized but besides the taco thing i didnt pick up on that whatsoever??? The Archer episode "Swiss Miss" is worse than helluva boss and hazbin combined and even archer isn't offensive.
Im probably not aware of all the "discourse" (aka people being reasonably uncomfortable by weird and bad shit this random woman has done, and other ppl saying their opinions are wrong when it's literally just an opinion about a show) so if anything she's done isnt included in here it's not to defend vivziepop, this is genuinely all i know. I wouldnt describe myself as a fan of hers.
14 notes · View notes
eulerami · 5 years
Note
same anon as before-tbh navigating ur racial identity as a mixed person (or at all) is weird.i just say im mexican/latina without really specifying even tho thats not a race lol. my grandfather who is half native/half mestizo does too and so does most of my mestizo family. it can be hard to define ur race as a brown mexican+ik a lot of mestizo ppl wouldnt consider themselves mixed at all bc it happened so far back or bc their parents were both mexican and 1 just had more recent native ancestry
Ahhh, I gotcha! Thank you for taking the time to help me out and explain.
I have noticed in my reading that many people feel as you do and say the same thing. It’s in itself an odd thing to have to quantify—label, since it is a largely US pressure to be able to label oneself down to phenotypical race and not nationality/cultural origin, which is why I think he’d just say he’s Mexican. Or Latino, like you said. The proximity to blackness/brownness is all that matters in the US, but that’s a topic for a later date.
Considering how an American (and a detective, so, details—) would profile him, racially, relatively intelligently, was stumping me a bit. He’d have no way of knowing his ethnicity—he guessed that based on his tattoo designs, (he paid attention in art history, at least,) and the fact there is a large Mexican community in Stilwater, and made an assumption.
First thing he noticed is how he looks, thinks “looks kinda Native, but...More south, not up here.” I know that’s bumbling, and generalizing, but, he’s taking down raw details in his mind.
I just wanted to know how folk feel about it. From what I’ve read of people living in Mexico, on forums and whatnot, the need to express this isn’t as, if at all, necessary. However, folk living in the US say different things because of the requirement to specify. “Hispanic” appears to not be favored because of it meaning literally any Spanish territory, and really only used to denote Spanish-speaking origin to a non-Spanish speaking/originating person. (Correct me if I’m wrong, this is just what I’ve come across in forums.)
I suppose if asked he can go into detail, talk about his family and what he remembers. (He doesn’t speak Nahuatl, for example, but his relatives did, and he’d share that maybe. That’s clues to the reader, even an American that might not be versed in this.)
But in a social context there doesn’t appear to be the same pressure to classify/quantify outside of the US. In that case Troy saying he is Mestizo for purely descriptive purposes, (and to get it across to the readers) is accurate then, and I’ll leave it at that.
Thank you again for explaining it to me, I’ve done some research already but it’s nice to talk to someone directly. I’m kinda rambling here. Also again, please forgive my dumbass if I’m saying stupid shit. This stuff is beyond engaging to me and I love anthropology and learning this sort of stuff.
3 notes · View notes
crownroyalebag · 5 years
Text
Ok so i got a breakdown of more lies sara abbott has put on my name so goo:
-saying my family kidnapped/forced her to stay in our house
My mom had to kick her out of my house because she did not want to leave. She kept asking to move in with us and my mom wouldnt allow it because i told my mom 1/10th of what a leech she was, my mom doesnt even know about the sexual assault. She just knew what a fucking horror sara was to live with because she was a shitty house guest in every way
-my family is a fucking hoarders nest
Everyone and their mother knows my mom is a hoarder thats why i tried to run away w izaya and grayson in a past life we have CPS up our ass every week and our house is miles better than it was but that being said why sara attacked me for my mothers mental illness especially when shes a fucking slob in general is beyond me. Also sara tried to say the reason she didn't shower was because my house was messy so kek
-She didn't know i was a minor
Sara was 21 i was 17, all discourse aside i dont feel this age gap was a problem because mentally shes apparently like 5 fucking years old or something so that makes up for the difference. Anyway, one of the first days she got here (i assumed cato told her how old i was cuz i knew how old she was and we were on fb before she came over where she couldve looked any second) she asked again how old i was and i said 17 and she said "omg is it creepy that im 21 with a 17 year old" and people tried to start shit over it and i defended it so for her to say i lied about being 18 is total fucking bullshit. She says my tattoos were why when i litcherally showed her my stick n poke kit. She knew i was underaged she knew i was a minor i was always open about that especially since i was smoking cigs at the time and i asked her to buy me a pack and she wouldnt so how she gonna say she didnt know i was underage??
-I raped her
This is the most despicable one to me for so many reasons. Sara says i "coerced" her into sex. I would be horny on the days where i wasnt drugged out of my mind and i would initiate sex with her, and she would say she wasnt into it so id say ok and turn around go to bed shed get upset and say she didnt want to disappoint me id say i didnt wanna have sex if she didnt want it and shed say yea she wanted it so id comply, i never even got off when we had sex shes a fake ass top i was just there for her to get off on so for her to say i coerced her into sex when she was always either the one initiating it or agreeing to it 100% is disgusting
-i gave sara hpv
(Before all this let it be known i got gardisil in 2012 but didnt get the booster cuz my mom had a strong antivax phase)
Late 2014 i was date raped (yea cassie kek someone got raped more than once in their life funnie ik). I went to planned parenthood got plan b and got tested, and found out there was a minute chance of hpv infection and that i should be retested. I was really embarassed and decided not to act but to tell any sexual partners i was with that i had hpv just to be safe. I was discussing this with another girl in my town who is also a victim of this dude and she told me to get tested immediately because there was word going around that he had HPV like crazy. I told sara before we did ANYTHING that i think i might have hpv but i had never had genital warts or anything like that and so the risk of me spreading it to another person was minute (even if i did have hpv that would still hold true its incredibly hard for an asymptomatic person to give it to someonesomeone especially when both parties are afab and no penetrative sex is happening). She still had sex with me multiple times without a care in the world whatsoever. After this i finally got to a gyno and got a test that came up fully negative for hpv, she explained that likely my body fought off any infection so i was neither infected or contagious but because of the fact that i went to planned parenthood like 48 hours after the assault the hpv may have been accutely present in my blood. She gave me the booster shot i needed and assured me that no, i do not have hpv
So this also leads to the fact that sara claims her hpv has given her vaginal pain, period troubles, and her family has an increased risk of cancer so that makes her afraid? Hpv does none of that. She is lying which given her history of being a complete hypochondriac is very suspicioussso. Anyways lemme see them test results sara if you really do have hpv cuz my annual pap and panel test is this Monday so lets see how the results stack up
Sara abbott had sex with me while i verbalized how high i was and even my mother could tell i was high. My own sister had to see her undressing me during an incident i dont remember at all. She guilt tripped me and threatened self harm and suicide constantly to keep me with her
14 notes · View notes
quackspot · 5 years
Note
imagine someone just going 1-200 and you have to answer 200 questions for a stranger
well u better strap up becuase im about to do it
200: My crush’s name is: i dunno who do u think my crush’s name is199: I was born in: a year which is 2004198: I am really: a homo sapien197: My cellphone company is:  i think its samsung196: My eye color is: brown195: My shoe size is: 9 or 9.5 i think just 9194: My ring size is: WAIT RINGS HAD SIZES????? i dunno193: My height is: 5′4 ISH but i just say 5′4 because im actually really sensitive about my height and the less than an inch that brings me to 5′4 makes me somewhat happier with myself192: I am allergic to: maybe dustmites 191: My 1st car was: not yet190: My 1st job was: NOT YET189: Last book you read: technically a book called Dad Jokes theyre really funny jokes but if you mean story with plot then probably Grand & Humble unless if you include everything then yesterday i peeked in some books188: My bed is: a bed which i sleep in and that’s pretty much it actually i havent really made my bed in a while 187: My pet: jax and nibsy r the family pets jax is a shih-poo shihtzu poodle mix and nibsy is a cat186: My best friend: my brother185: My favorite shampoo is: shampoo184: Xbox or ps3: hard choice there’s xbox overall and little big planet this is actually a very hard choice lksiiro3jedsklmf,gsda little big planet is great........................183: Piggy banks are: piggy banks. theyre great182: In my pockets: I DONT HAVE POCKETS IM A WOMAN181: On my calendar: whats a calendar lol!!!!180: Marriage is: marriage 179: Spongebob can: dodod od odo dodooo178: My mom: IS GREAT i lov her shes a good mom177: The last three songs I bought were? i dont buy songs i listen to them176: Last YouTube video watched: i mean im listening to boyfriend big time rush on youtube right now but if you mean actual watching its snufkin saying “hi moomin” to moomin a quick 6 second clip175: How many cousins do you have? i duno174: Do you have any siblings? yeah173: Are your parents divorced? yeah172: Are you taller than your mom? probably not :(171: Do you play an instrument? i play the trumpet i did it today and it was really boring i dont want to go to any more graduations not even my own170: What did you do yesterday? things[ I Believe In ]169: Love at first sight: not really but somewhat and i like it because its a fun little thing to put in fiction 168: Luck: yea im very lucky167: Fate: its my destiny to die someday . . .. .  in the futuuuuuuuuuuure
166: Yourself: as far as im aware no165: Aliens: yeah probably164: Heaven: i know it probably isnt real but i cant help believing163: Hell:i know it probably isnt real but i cant help believing162: God: only to blame them for stuff161: Horoscopes: yea theyre fun to read160: Soul mates: ehehehehehhe fun in fanfiction and would greatly b ok with it irl159: Ghosts: who else would hold my hand at night...... not even a ghost :) (but yea i do believe in them when i grow up i wana be a ghost)158: Gay Marriage: why wouldnt i believe in gay marriage 157: War: what is it good for156: Orbs: borb155: Magic: i like magic so i will believe in it [ This or That ]154: Hugs or Kisses: yes153: Drunk or High: probably high i guess152: Phone or Online: ONLINE151: Red heads or Black haired: black haired 150: Blondes or Brunettes: BRUNETTES dude blondes r ok but i personally like darker hair149: Hot or cold: hot148: Summer or winter: SUMMER I HATE WINTER SO FUCKIGNT OASJKU*($@IRWJKOSDIUOKLJEZUDIFLK:LDSK:LKF:LJIODSKZVDJFKL mostly becuase i hate being cold and i hate snow becuase i have to shovel snow and its so cold147: Autumn or Spring: either one 146: Chocolate or vanilla: choc o late145: Night or Day: night144: Oranges or Apples: apples143: Curly or Straight hair: curly but i guess straight is ok142: McDonalds or Burger King: burbger king good milkshakese141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: idk uhh milk chocolate140: Mac or PC: pc139: Flip flops or high heals: neither......138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: ugly and rich i can just buy surgeries to make me prettier lmao137: Coke or Pepsi: coke136: Hillary or Obama: i dont wanna answer this :(((((( i dont like being bullied135: Burried or cremated: cremated babye put me in the flames ;3c134: Singing or Dancing: i like singing i like dancing i like trains 133: Coach or Chanel: what132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: who are these people131: Small town or Big city: im just a mere small town babye ;3c big cities sound scary 130: Wal-Mart or Target: target has the good cheeseballs129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: i only know adam sandler128: Manicure or Pedicure: i dont do my nails 127: East Coast or West Coast: uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhh both are coasts126: Your Birthday or Christmas: birthday i get more gifts then uwu125: Chocolate or Flowers: chocolate124: Disney or Six Flags: disney because idk what six flags is isnt it a restaurant or something123: Yankees or Red Sox: a baseball bat [ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: what is it good for!121: George Bush: idk 120: Gay Marriage: yeah gay rights119: The presidential election: im not that into politics so i dont understand the elections and i dont think their fair since i get all my facts from adam ruins everything this isnt even a joke118: Abortion: pro choice i dont giv a crap about some lifeless baby. its only alive if it can properly move its arms or cry or feel.117: MySpace: haha dead116: Reality TV: idk 115: Parents: theyre parents 114: Back stabbers: ow my back113: Ebay: website.... money112: Facebook: lizard man111: Work: what110: My Neighbors: idk who they are but my old neighbor was one of my best friends i should talk to him this summer109: Gas Prices: probably too high108: Designer Clothes: clothes107: College: something i dont plan on going to any time soon106: Sports: something i dont plan on doing any time soon105: My family: a family104: The future: spooky. very scary. idk what my job will be[ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: idk (update it was today)102: Last time you ate: 4:13 ish i made ramne101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: i duno100: Cried in front of someone: today i suppose i almost cried???? maybe my dentist appointment a few weeks ago??99: Went to a movie theater: lego movie 2 i think98: Took a vacation: 6th grade im in 9th grade now its been like 3 years97: Swam in a pool: over 1 year i dont go to the pool anymore96: Changed a diaper: NEVER AND I NEVER PLAN ON IT95: Got my nails done: i duno94: Went to a wedding: i also dunno its been too long93: Broke a bone: not that i can recal92: Got a peircing: never and never will91: Broke the law: i duno90: Texted: just now i told my mommy to pick me up it wasl ike 1 hour ago[ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: me88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my momy and nibsy and jax and probably zach but he’d already move out by the time i leave87: The last movie I saw: i dont remember probably lego movie 2 or osmething on tv86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: next year drama club85: The thing im not looking forward to: dying?????? idk man 84: People call me: moto moto (not really idk what they call me)83: The most difficult thing to do is: the most difficult thing82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: never though i probs will someday81: My zodiac sign is: aquarius sun leo moon aries rising80: The first person i talked to today was: probably kiley79: First time you had a crush: kindergarten i think78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: myself77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: idk76: Right now I am talking to: nobody��75: What are you going to do when you grow up: *has a crisis over my future plans as i do not know*74: I have/will get a job: im gona work at target or burger king next year maybe it depends on if they like me73: Tomorrow: 5/20..............72: Today: today71: Next Summer: in a theater near u70: Next Weekend: my first summer weekend 69: I have these pets: I ALREAD YSAID WHAT PETS I HAVE I LOVE NIBSY WITH ALL MY HEART and jax with some extra parts of my heart68: The worst sound in the world: a sound67: The person that makes me cry the most is: me66: People that make you happy: me65: Last time I cried: ealier today64: My friends are: online63: My computer is: on62: My School: is a school61: My Car: nonexistent 60: I lose all respect for people who: are really mean and seem to hate people for being happy. people who make jokes that make me uncomfortable. i generally avoid them.59: The movie I cried at was: all of them58: Your hair color is: brown57: TV shows you watch: idk56: Favorite web site: idk probs youtube55: Your dream vacation: nowhere 54: The worst pain I was ever in was: A FEW WEEKS AGO I GOT STITCHES IN MY MOUTH AND IT REALLY HURT UGHGTUERIJOKFLDc53: How do you like your steak cooked: edible52: My room is: a room51: My favorite celebrity is: myslef..... just kidding idk any celebs 50: Where would you like to be: where i am 49: Do you want children: no 48: Ever been in love: hoo ha hoo ha i duno how love feels exactly47: Who’s your best friend: MY BROTHER46: More guy friends or girl friends: guys i think 99% of my friends are my brothers friends so45: One thing that makes you feel great is: being happy44: One person that you wish you could see right now: nobody right now but sometimes kiley43: Do you have a 5 year plan: 5 years??? haha no i only plan on using savings accounts to make a bit more money and MAYBE moving to kiley but idk for sure since i like my parents and my brother and my parents plan on driving around in an rv but idk man moving to another state would be HARD and im kinda lazy and i’d have to get a whole new driver’s license 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: no41: Have you pre-named your children: lmao all my ideas are jokes40: Last person I got mad at: probably myslef39: I would like to move to: my bed???????38: I wish I was a professional: personer. talker. socialer. [ My Favorites ]37: Candy: probably snickers or a salted nut roll36: Vehicle: big car. tahoe shape. tahoe size. idk. something like a tahoe thats my only reference35: President: I Don’t Care34: State visited: probably florida its the only one of 3 states i’ve been to33: Cellphone provider: what32: Athlete: WHAT31: Actor: idk 30: Actress: idk29: Singer: not me? me? idk28: Band: taaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally hall??? ? ?? ? ?? ? ? ? I DONT KNOWIJ DSKJZLFKSJKLDSHDLfjklskl;fdkl;sfk;laf 27: Clothing store: i legit have like no faves god this is the hardest part26: Grocery store: target probably25: TV show: maybe the simpsons???24: Movie: idk ive seen a lot of movies23: Website: one of them22: Animal: one of them21: Theme park: universal studios20: Holiday: none of them theyre all ok but ??? meh19: Sport to watch: none.18: Sport to play: idk i dont like being competitive but??????? gym class is a fun sport! :)17: Magazine: none of them16: Book: one of them15: Day of the week: wednesday sounds like a good day. maybe sundays. 14: Beach: what13: Concert attended: frankly the only concerts i’ve been to are my own12: Thing to cook: probably ramen11: Food: cheeseballs??????? burger king milkshake, a drink?10: Restaurant: buuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrger kiiiiiiiiiiing?9: Radio station: 101.9 kelo eff emmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm8: Yankee candle scent: what7: Perfume: what6: Flower: what5: Color: red or purple4: Talk show host: wha
3: Comedian: i duno2: Dog breed: one of them1: Did you answer all these truthfully?  yeah i tried but i kinda gave up slightly after i came back from a graduation party though i also kind of gave up from the start so
1 note · View note
jadecringecomp · 5 years
Text
it took me the longest time to realize this, but jade had only befriended me for self validation abt their abuser, broden. i have screenshots and further information under the cut.
i initially befriended jade after they informed me broden was worse than he had made himself out to be. and so i proceed to block him off everything i had him on. soon after, me and jade became close. however, jade was... incredibly weird abt it regarding broden and would constantly point out how they ‘stole’ me from him. i can only show screenshots to show what i mean.
Tumblr media
“[jade] LOL i was going thru brodens whining tag again
[image from broden’s blog reading “You, Jade, are worse than evil. Worse than a cyberbully, even. Rae is blocking me because of you and your so-called ‘act of justice’ against me. Well you know what? You’re the monster made by your own heinous ambition, slowly abusing me to death with threats and insults towards me.”]
[jade] now we’re best friends lol die mad freak
[jade] ‘worse than evil’ takes ur friends anyway”
Tumblr media
“broden you know that even if me and rae werent friends they’d still hate you lmao”
Tumblr media
“’lose/lose’ idk man im the one who gained a bunch of awesome friends who support me....and you have none....”
Tumblr media
“[screenshot of a post from broden reading “There is also no reason to include anyone else in this situation besides you, your boyfriend and me. Nobody else, not even Rae, should’ve gotten involved with this situation.”]
broden you can’t get mad at ME after i gave you like dozens of chances to stop being a piece of shit before outing you to the people you were lying to. and you literally cannot get mad that rae (and everyone) fucking hates you now because you literally make no effort in any of your friendships! anytime anything happens you just completely give up and throw yourself a pity party like ‘well i guess this is goodbye’ or something and put absolutely 0 effort into fixing any of your relationships so the only person you have to blame for the fact you have no friends is yourself. also me and rae are best friends now are u mad? sorry i helped one of your victims broden. die mad about it.”
Tumblr media
“broden im sorry im so much fucking better than you, have an amazing boyfriend who loves me and super awesome friends who are funny and i have fun with and dont abuse and that im actually likable as a person“
Tumblr media
“if im just stirring up old drama and youre just some innocent uwuwu then why do i have so many friends and support from them and you’re all alone bc youre repulsive...”
Tumblr media
“broden are you mad i exposed you to your friend and now we both validate each other as victims of you and i’m a better friend than you could ever dream to be“
Tumblr media
“[screenshot from brodens blog reading “anonymous said: so like...why do you hate abuse survivors tho” broden responding “You may be an abuse survivor but it doesn’t give you the right to be abusive. I don’t hate you, I’m disappointed that you are not able to be something else than the thing that you hate. You gazed into the abyss, and the abyss gazed into you... I’m sorry.”]
[jade] this is so fucking edgy like shut the fuck up and stop shitting on abuse survivors you fucking idiot. why dont you explain to @gravecores and @pyjuumun how we’re idiots for standing up to our abuser and how that somehow makes US abusive. fuck off.”
even putting posts i made abt the broden situation into their broden tag which broden does go through (#b)... and sure i did give them permission to rb these but the fact they threw some of this into a tag they have dedicated to broden and they know he sifts through says a lot.
Tumblr media
“[me] broden, to me: jade said it wrong i actually only rped rape and pedophilia many years ago
broden, right now on his blog: rping rape and pedophilia
[jade] broden: says fucking anything
me: *fucking sorting through all the proof of himself digging his own fuckin ass grave* mhmmmm go on go on”
Tumblr media
“broden… the themes you do in your threads are extremely explicit and to me its genuinely hilarious how you try and excuse your fetishes with “but its fictional!!!!!!” and. its not the fact you rp those themes that makes her call you an abuser. theres so much more to that. the fact you want to sit there and type out how someone is involved in incest and how exactly someone is raped just shows to me that it isnt just some story plot or whatever. if you have the balls to sit there and type that out, it shows me you have rape and incest as some sort of fetish.
trust me broden if it were just mentions here and there i wouldnt think much of it. but in your story ive seen the incest and pedophilia being normalized and ive seen you type out in detail how someone is raped. im begging you to please realize that can only show you have all of these as a fetish or kink or whatever. again, if they were just mentions here and there i would think nothing of it.
broden im literally on my knees and BEGGING for you to realize that your actions are speaking so much louder than your words. ik you like to think jade is on your ass for “fictional rp themes” but! she has a valid reason to be + all the other things youve done to her! im sorry broden you are just. not in the right in this case.”
Tumblr media
“[me] idk what kinda fuckshit is making ppl believe “oh yeah the victim is now being the abuser” but im almost sure its because ppl have no idea how abuse works.
[jades tags] #hm i would die for you? #b”
theres probably more to it, but i think you could get the gist of it. jade befriended me for nothing more than self validation and using me to take jabs at our abuser and it really fucking shows. after all during our friendship all they would talk abt was him. we barely had any normal conversations. if it wasnt abt broden, it was abt smth else that was bothering them. so go figure.
so before jade wants to throw out there that i was a fake friend for making a single mistake they never even allowed me to apologize for, maybe they should think this over abt how they used me to get back at their abuser.
2 notes · View notes