Not to be a buzzkill, but I'm kinda disappointed that the only thing people think of when they hear Dark Knight in ff14 is that they're edgy and brooding. Like, yeah, we are. But the idea of a dark knight is so much deeper than that.
To me Dark Knights are very concept of Hopepunk. The idea that not only will things get better, but I'm going to fight, covered in blood and screaming, for that future. They dont care what it takes, be it dark magic or a massive sword, they are grasping hope and love in a raging fist.
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invisible scars (referenced previous talk here)
[ID: A colourless, digital Trigun comic of Vash and Wolfwood talking about Wolfwood's scars. They're both laying in bed and topless. Vash lays on top of Wolfwood, playing with the rosary around his neck. Then, Vash kisses a spot on Wolfwood's chest. Wolfwood asks, "What are you doing?" Vash smiles sadly, "You got shot here. In the last town we visited. You didn't even bother moving."
Vash props himself up over Wolfwood, who frowns slightly. Wolfwood is quiet for a moment before he says, "You remember that, huh?" Vash grabs Wolfwood's left wrist and brings it to his face. "And here." He kisses another spot there. "When you helped free the hostages from that robber..." Wolfwood dismissively says, looking away, "Was a lucky shot." Vash huffs, “Don’t brag. Jeez.”
Half of Wolfwood's expression is shown, eyes returning to Vash who is now sitting up, continuing to say, "And..." Vash goes on and kiss Wolfwood's right palm. "You got cut here, even though that girl was aiming at me." A moment from the past flashes, of Wolfwood grabbing a knife aimed at Vash, his hand bleeding.
At present, Vash moves down and puts another kiss on Wolfwood's right shoulder. "And here, from watching my back." Another memory flashes of Wolfwood and Vash back to back. Vash looks back as Wolfwood grins while holding Punisher, bleeding from multiple gunshots in his shoulder.
"And," Vash combs up Wolfwood's hair to reveal his forehead, "Here." A final memory shows Wolfwood with a regeneration vial in his mouth while getting shot on his temple. The next panel is framed in blood with Vash at the center, eyes wide and stunned in horror. The next panel is a closed up shot of Wolfwood's eye, locked on Vash's face.
Back to present, Vash’s head is bowed down as Wolfwood raises a hand to his nape and says, “Spikey.”
Wolfwood looks serious and frowns as he says, "We talked about this. Those were my decisions. They're not there anymore. Forget about them." Vash looks very sad before he smiles ruefully and says, "I still see them. All the time." He leans down so they touch foreheads. Wolfwood’s sorrowful expression can be seen as Vash says, "You protect so much. I could never forget what you've done to me. And many others..."
In the last image, they're drawn more cartoonishly. Wolfwood sweats and asks, "You don't actually remember every wound, right?" Vash points at a spot on his chest. "Kuroneko left a scratch here 7 times." Wolfwood, startled, says, "Why the hell are you keeping count—" End ID]
Credits for ID here and here
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dip pen ink comm batch 4 complete! for Ezechiel, @ohwwhuv, and Leo :]
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hi ♡ i guess i'm back? 🥹
here's a little life update! i think you guys deserve it after my absence that lasted longer than even i expected it to last ;( i am very sorry about that. i miss everyone here and bangtan so much, you have no idea. the reason for all that is that for the past months i have been going through a lot of things and changes in my life. there were good and bad things happening, time flies extra fast, days melt into one and i didn't even notice the past half a year pass. although i think my absence was unavoidable in these circumstances i just thought that you guys deserve to know what's been up with me for the past months haha i have received a lot messages and reminders that people remember about me and that they miss me and i just want to send all of you my biggest apologies for leaving you for so long with no response, as well as all my love and gratitude! 🥺 i think i've been always fairly transparent on here so if anyone wanted to know more I'll leave some more details in the tags but basically I just hope that soon i will be able to become more active again and respond to messages ❤️❤️❤️ i hope everyone is doing great 🥰
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I had an alastor ask you can ignore this but what about an alastor x wife!reader where one day one of the readers old friends from their living days manifest in hell it can be angsty or fluffy but I just really wanna see how you think alastor would react to suddenly remembering that the reader had a whole different life before hell and before him
You're an amazing write and I wanna see your take on this, if not thats ok too !! Have a lovely day 🩷
Ooh this is just juicy-
Alastor X Reader Headcanons
✅️Romantic
❌️Platonic
TW: Alastor being sad, Alastor being jealous
Description: 👆⬆️
Look, Alastor is a smart man who knows you had a life before you met him, before you died
He knows this, he also had a life before you
A rather violent one towards the end there, but still...
But when one of your friends from when you were alive suddenly runs into you???? It suddenly feels like that previous life is coming to slap him in the face
"Y/N? Is that you?"
The way your face lights up with familiarity and you two rush to hug each other, obviously close
It makes him...feel something bad...
The conversation with your friend starts out simple and innocent enough, the two of you catching up with each other
You introduce your husband and Alastor can tell that your friend is surprised, probably not expecting you to be shacked up with the radio demon himself
He preens with your introduction, ready to hear your friend either gush about your amazing husband or shrink away in fear of him
Or at least that's what Alastor assumes the shocked look means
But then your friend mentions something about an old flame of yours and Alastor just kinda??? Gets a white hot flash of anxiety??
You get visibly upset at the mention of them, mumbling something to your friend that Alastor can't hear because he's not listening
You're scolding your friend for bringing up someone you hardly even thought about anymore, someone so unimportant in comparison to your husband
You had someone before him?? Someone you loved and cared about before you died and became stuck in hell?
Would you still go to them now if you had the choice? No, you wouldn't, he's one of the strongest demons in hell. Why would you leave him?
Because you loved people for more than that...
Then your friend is talking to him about your life when you were alive, telling him every stupid, funny, kind thing you did
Everything you enjoyed without him in your life
He's stuck in his own head and hurting his own feelings, the smile on his face painfully tight
"Alastor? Darling?"
Your concerned voice and gentle squeeze on his arm brings him back to reality, your friend having already left without his realizing
"Are you alright? You got quiet on me and that's not like you..."
And he's back to being his charming self, squashing down his ugly emotions
"My apologies my dear~! I just suddenly remembered I must meet Rosie today!"
He's gone before you can even question it, leaving you with a sinking feeling in your gut
The next few days after that Alastor is distant from you even though he's trying to play it off as being busy
Everyone at the hotel can see it and think that you two must be having a fight
You have to reassure them that no, mommy and daddy aren't fighting
He's been off ever since you ran into your friend and they brought up-
...your past...
Oh that stupid man of yours
It takes a lot of work to corner Alastor, he's stupidly clever and always has an excuse to avoid you
You however, did NOT become his wife by giving up easily
One time, he even straight up turned around and ran from you
And you almost fucking caught him if he hadn't cheated and melted away into the shadows
But you manage to catch him in his radio tower, using all your demonic power to sneak up on him
He jumps at the feeling of your arms draping around his neck from behind, feeling your lips on his temple
He's missed being so close to you, he really has
"We need to talk, darling one..."
This is exactly what he's been avoiding though, trying to get his uncomfortable feelings to go away so things can go back to normal between you two
"What is there to talk about, my dear~?"
He's pulling you into his lap, uncharacteristically enthusiastic about giving you affection all of a sudden, kissing up your neck and rubbing your thighs
You know he's trying to seduce you to get out of having to talk about his feelings so you stop him, placing a firm hand on his chest
"You've been avoiding me ever since we ran into my friend."
He visibly cringes at being so obviously caught, his smile strained, sharp teeth clenched tight
"I've simply been busy, I'm sorry if I've been neglecting my little wife..."
He's going in for another kiss, but you pull away with reluctance, you're attracted to your husband after all
You pull on his cheek and sigh, hugging his neck as you lean back to look at him
"Alastor, you know I hate it when you lie to me..."
Now he feels bad, he hates disappointing his wife like this...
"I suppose I have been a bit out of sorts..."
So he does his best to explain to you his uncertainty in your life, wondering if you've simply settled for him because you died
If you would choose your old life over him if ever given the chance, or leave him for a chance at heaven with people from your old life
He won't look at you the entire time he says this, leaning into you and hiding his face in your neck
Just run your fingers through his hair, maybe rub his ears a little, and listen to him vent
He doesn't like being open and vulnerable
"Oh darling, I didn't even know what love really was until I met you. Being here in hell with you has been more fulfilling than any life I had before..."
Not him making a little deer bleat before growling out of embarrassment, clutching you a little tighter
"You wouldn't-"
"Alastor, if anybody even tries to make me leave you, I'll kill them myself."
That makes him chuckle, leaning back to finally look at you
"Oh, you twisted wonderful wife~"
He's literally immediately back to himself after that, almost as though none of it ever happened
You're always surprised by how quickly your husband recovers
Maybe it's just because he trusts you so much, your words alone were enough to reassure him of his place in your world
You meant every word
When your friend comes back to visit you, Alastor actually engages with them this time
He wants to know more about who you used to be now that his confidence in his marriage has been restored
The dude is literally walking around like he got laid for the first time
Angel...shut up...
Holds you close to him the entire time, relaxed as he listens to you and your friend go on about old times
"Wait...you jumped out of a third story window? While being chased by a man with one leg?"
"And LIVED!"
SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO GET TO I HOPE YOU LIKE IT
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Thats MY kid | Dad!Lucifer x Kid!Reader x "Uncle"Alastor |
Summary: Alastor wants to take you out for some time with him!
Warnings: SFW | Probably OOC | Uncle!Alastor | Slight!YandereAlastor | Cursing | Canon violence | Canon hell |
Alastor tried to convince himself he was doing this to piss Lucifer off. No, he did not have any type of attachment to you, he did not see you as his own kid (even if you totally ignored his half request to be called dad when not being around Lucifer). And no, he was not hurt by that.
Right?
Yeah well no. You had touched his heart somehow and now Alastor was down bad, he swears you must have some type of demonic magic (and not just you being you and being amazing) because no one (only his mother) made him feel so much love in his life or after life.
"Uncle?" Your voice called him making Alastor look at you with his signature simile. "Why was dad angry when you showed up?"
~☆~☆~☆~
Earlier that day.
"ABSOLUTLY NO. GET OUT FROM MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW" Lucifer screamed at the radio Demon who just stared back.
"My my, I never had you for the possesive type of dad, with how much freedom you have give Charlie"
"Dont bring my daugther into this" Lucifer said almost breaking a pen. "We both know you want to take (Y/N) out just to get to me. And im not letting you create fake hopes for that kid. That kid is mine Alastor, maybe not by blood but its mine. And I promised I would protect them, for anything and anyone. You can piss me off however you want but dont bring (Y/N) into this".
Well fuck, Lucifer did care for you.
Also, fuck you Lucifer. You did not know how he felt (hell, not even Alastor knew how he felt towards you). After meeting you at the hotel, seeing you interact with the others and also play with his shadows, something started to form inside the old killer. And it got worse when you ran to him asking him how the radio worked, his insides making flips as he explained you.
He also did almost break when you were saying goodbye and hugged his legs. If that was any other Demon they would have ended dead on the spot. But it was you, and it felt right.
"Listen" Alastor started smile still on his face but his tone serious "Im not that low to bring (Y/N) into our....fights. You May not believe me but I care for that kid, if I did not for sure I would not have give him one of my shadows to protect them"
"Wait-you did what-"
"The point is" Alastor interrumped static forming "I dont plan on giving they fake hope, and thats all I Will say"
Silence passed for seconds that felt like hours, finally Lucifer nodded.
"Alright, i will let you take them for today, BUT anything and I mean anything happens to them, you will no longer be here" Lucifer said his tone for once being truly the one from a king of hell.
Alastor just nodded, taking his cane being ready to be out with you for the day.
"Oh and Alastor, I dont trust you. But i want (Y/N) to get here what they missed in life, so dont fuck this up"
~☆~☆~☆~
"Nothing your silly head must worry about!" Alastor assured you. However your face did show you were not buying what he said.
"Smile my Dear!! You know you are never fully dressed without one!!" Alastor tried again, stopping to take your hand and make you spin. Your laught coming out quickly making him relax.
"There it is!" He exclaimed then continue to walk besides you. Right now you two were in the cannibals town. For other demons and sinners this part was even more dangerous than the regular hell. But for Alastor it was like his home, demos in here knew him and liked him, and that extended to you as well. A few had waved and smiled, fresh blood showing. But Alastor had made sure you did not see any dead body, or parts of one.
"Now I have a suprise for you!, I have a friend who owns a restaurant and she accepted to take us in"
"...as food or clients?" You asked joking making the radio Demon smirk, radio laughts in the background.
"Well, since she is my friend, we are clients of coruse" Alastor responded getting a nod from you. "Of course you wont be eating anything...special, regular food I promise"
~☆~☆~☆~
When you two entered the restaurant you found it to be empy....aside from some workers who came quickly to guide Alastor and you to a private room with a big table.
There, on one of the chairs a very pale Demon with deep black eyes stood. Noticing Alastor she got on her feet coming closer.
"Alastor, its so good to see you again" she beamed at the radio Demon stopping a few inches away.
"And who may this little creature be?"
Jokes, Rosie knew who you were. He had to listen to Alastor talk about how unfair it was that you had decided to call Lucifer dad and not him.
Being by Alastor side gave you confidence so you took some small steps closer to her.
"Im (Y/N), im Alastor newphew" You stated proudly making Rosie smile showing her sharp teet.
"Thats wonderfull, now please sit I have prepared the best for both of you" Rosie exclaimed calling over the workers who appear to help the three of you settle down.
"For you my friend, I got you the finist meat from this side of hell" A plate with fresh flesh was presented making Alastor almost growl at it. "And for you little one a bird told me you loved chocolate" a big space on the table was now occupied with the biggest and most extravagant chocolate cake you have ever seen.
"I-its that all for me?" You asked not believing it. Getting a nodd from Rosie "and I cant eat all of it?" Again a nodd.
You almost cried when the first slice was put in front of you. No one ever got you cake in the living world.
"Oh and to help you not chocke with that, Alastor I have some.." Rosie paused looking for the right words seeing how you were now devouring the cake "a very special drink" she finally said, a bottle with red liquid appear. And for you, I prepared a mix of appel juice and strawberry" she said getting the most pure look from you.
"Thank you Miss"
"Oh, just call me Rosie" she responded.
~☆~☆~☆~
Turns out you ate most of the cake and now the sugar had gave you too much energy. Rosie had asked her workers to play with you some game of tag, without biting.
And hell, you were fast. Outrunning the old demons and even letting chairs fall to prevent them from coming closer.
Rosie used this moment to dig as much information about you from Alastor as she could find.
"So, Lucifer just decided to take them in? What a strange guy" she said sipping her own drink. "And now you are taking care of them?"
Alastor nodded "yes, you must see Lucifer's face when I show up and (Y/N) calls me uncle, he its so angry"
"But you truly care for them" Rosie stated. "You would never have asked me to prepare something that does not come from sinners or demons knowing where you are. You also made me order the town to keep the body display low to protect them"
Rosie could read Alastor as an Open book.
"Uncleeeee" your call alerted the overlords, seeing you running towards them with the biggest smile on your face. "The other said they are too tired to keep running after me, does this mean I won?"
"Well centraly!! I knew no one would be able to catch you. You are my relative after all"
You nodded and smiled going back to your chair to drink more juice. "This is amazing. Thanks a lot Mi-Rosie!"
"Aww, arent you the cutest" Rosie beamed her hands squishing your cheecks.
~☆~☆~☆
After the food and some more talking Alastor decided it was time for you to go back with Lucifer (and no, it was not because he had got at least 666 messages from him).
Rosie had told you to come whenever you wanted that no one would hurt you in her town.
~☆~☆~☆
"I had a great time Uncle!" You told Alastor as the big castle started to show in the distance.
"Well im glad Dear! Dont forget to tune the radio for my program tonight" Alastor said petting your head.
"I wont! Dad hates it but I love it, specially that music you use...ummmm jazz?"
Alastor started to think that just kindapp you and made you his kid instead would be for the best.
"(y/n)!!" A very distinct voice screamed
"DAD!!"
But he would not want to hurt your feelings so, seeing you from time to time would have to do.
He waited for the exchange to end, Lucifer asking you what have you done and also making sure you were not hurt. After that he nodded to himself.
"Alright, now go inside, Xin has prepared you a bath"
You nodded but turned towards Alastor going for his legs again to hug him.
"Thank you uncle!! No one ever took me to a restaurant or got me cake. Lets meet again soon" you smiled up to him showing pointy teet.
Before he could respond you were running inside the castle with a very worried maid behind you.
~☆~☆~☆~
"Well..looks like you did not ruin this" Lucifer stated seeing you run off.
"I told you I would not" Alastor responded offended. "(Y/N) has potential to grow up to be a powerfull sinner (no you did not) of course im going to look over them"
Lucifer just shoot Alastor a knowing smile then turned around to enter his home.
"Thanks for not breaking his heart" he finally said then the doors closed behind him leaving Alastor alone.
Of course he could not bring himself to do that, even if he wanted to. You were his newphew. His. Not someone else.
And no one breaks the things he loves.
Not even himself.
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Taigen’s love confession NEEDS to come before he finds out Mizu is a woman.
Listen. I have given this a lot of thought and the more I think about it, the more I’m sure. When looking at Mizu and Mikio’s marriage, we can see how Mikio was in to the idea of a strong woman only so far as he was still stronger than her. This is clear when Mikio insists that he wants to “see all of [mizu]” and insists that they spar; Mikio doesn’t unsheath his blade even though Mizu tell him not to hold back. He assumes he is stronger than her and when this is proven false, like the beta bitch he is, he bails.
But with Taigen it’s different. Mizu and Taigen’s relationship has been a power struggle from the start. Taigen wasn’t introduced to Mizu as a woman or a wife. Taigen has always seen Mizu as a swordsman first. And when the hostility between the two starts to cool, it is because of their mutual admiration of the other’s skill. Mizu’s strength and boldness are what win Taigen over in the first place.
We also see a very important juxtapose between when Mizu pins Mikio to the ground and when she pins Taigen to the ground. In the first instance, Mikio pushes Mizu off him and calls her a monster. He feels put off and emasculated by being overpowered. In the Mizu/Taigen scene, however, once Mizu has Taigen pinned, he stares, awestruck, into Mizu’s eyes and gets a raging hard on. Instead of feeling emasculated, Taigen get so aroused that he has a full blown bi awakening.
So we know that Taigen is different to Mikio in that he is attracted to Mizu BECAUSE she can kick his ass, not in spite of it. But Mizu has been burned before. Badly. So if Taigen were to confess his feelings and tell Mizu that her strength is what he adores most about her, she’d be like, “right, sure, heard that one before.” And that’s why Taigen needs to confess his feelings BEFORE he finds out what’s in Mizu’s pants.
In my daydreaming about a Migen love confession, I find myself reminded of this quote. How Mikio was like the exotic bird collector. He only liked the idea of Mizu knowing her way around a sword so long as at the end of the day, he can still put her back into the caged-in roll of the house wife.
Taigen is also guilty of this with Akemi. I sure there is still no small amount of attraction and love between them, but I think Taigen pursues Akemi mostly out of the personal fable he has written about himself; the poor fisherman’s son who raises himself up to be the star of his Dojo and then marries a princess. He might not have wanted to cage Akemi as much as other men would have, but he still sees her as the exotic bird. The prize. And thats why I can’t ship them.
But with Mizu it’s different. Taigen even admits that Mizu is a better fighter than him. He KNOWS he could never cage her and by the end on the first season he strops trying, opting to stand beside her instead of against her (“it’s your fight, so it’s mine” 😭) So when he does confess his feelings, he has to do is as one man to another and make it clear to Mizu that her strength is what he loves most and that he would never want her to be anything less then the superior swordsman she is.
Only then will Mizu have a chance of believing that Taigen wants to be with her, not to subdue her into a wifely role, but to stand beside her in all her greatness. If Taigen’s confession were to come after he finds out she’s a woman, Mizu might just think, “oh, NOW you want to be with me, cause you think just because I’m a woman I’ll eventually submit to you.” Mizu needs to know she is loved AS SHE IS.
Also, I just think it would be HILLARIOUS if Taigen confesses, and Mizu is like, “ well then….. I guess I should let you know…” and then Taigen spends the rest of the episode with his mind fucking BLOWN and complaining that he has spent the last several months coming to terms with the fact that he is attracted to another man only to find out the man he is attracted to is a woman! He goes through a whole bi awakening for nothing!
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Hi friend! I had an idea that perhaps you could bring to life. Its an azriel x reader. Where shes a seamstress for Rhys, she makes all his suits and all the beautiful gowns and dresses for the girls to wear. She even makes their leathers for fighting. I imagine one of them or maybe a few of them make a comment on how she's no one important and kinda belittles her work cuz shes just a seamstress. Rhys brings all 3 males to be measured for suits and azriel is getting flushed as readers kneeling to measure the length of his pants and the slit for his wings. Rhys sees Azriel blush and gives him a stern look shaking his head like "not this one." She doesnt look them in they eye, and rhys doesnt tell azriel anything about her. Like shes rhys best kept secret. Reader feels like the IC is so much better than her and thats why they sometimes say mean things (maybe someone asks elain where her dress is from and she just scoffs like "this old thing") but its actually a protective rhys trying to keep her safe cuz she reminds him so much of his deceased sister. Bond snaps but readers so insecure she wants to decline. Sorry this was so long. Lol. Just trying to get the jist of it out. Non important seamstress reader, flushed azriel, brother like rhys. The end. 🤣🤣🤣
a/n: I really hope that I did your request justice! It was so cute writing a shy Azriel
Unnoticed
You sat at the front desk of the shop to place your order for your inventory, sighing to yourself as your eyes momentarily moved around the small store that you owned. It wasn’t anything special and was small compared to the many others in the city. There were so many other places that would be preferred by the citizens but this was your passion and refused to give up on it. The bell on the door rang and you looked up with a hopeful smile that turned into a grin when you saw who was striding in.
“Hey!” you started happily, thankful to see such a familiar face. “It feels like forever since I’ve seen you.”
“I will make it a top priority to come visit when it isn’t just for your services,” he chuckled.
“And what is it that I can do for the all mighty High Lord?” A giggle at his playful frown escaped you. “I’ve been looking forward to the new things that you always request.”
“We have a visit to the Day Court and it would be nice to have some new attire for the ball that Helion will be hosting.”
“That sounds so nice,” you sighed dreamily. “The same sizes as last time?”
“The females, yes.” He gave you a smile that was full of love and admiration that nearly brought tears to your eyes. “However, Azriel and Cassian will need to be measured since they usually do not wear this particular form of attire.”
“Just let me know when you’re ready and I’ll have everything set up.” You searched through the files under your desk to pull out the Inner Circles information. “I can go ahead and get what you have in mind so I can get it done in time.”
Rhysand gave you a small smile, the adoration still shining in his eyes. You were never sure why he looked at you in such a way but you appreciated it anyway. He was the only thing that came close to a friend since there were times where he would stay with you and talk for hours before departing again. You had no family since they were lost in the war but you were thankful that you had been able to take refuge in Velaris.
There were times when the High Lord would try to offer to move you into a larger store in a better part of the city. It was a sweet offer but you felt as if it was charity and you didn’t want any pity. The Night Court black that was used was always beautiful to you and your friend seemed to like the little details that you added to make it stand out a bit more while still fitting his court.
Your store stayed in business simply because of Rhysand’s orders for his family because you made everything for them. He always assured you that they loved their dresses and gowns but there was always an emotion in his eyes that you couldn’t place when he did so. Despite that, you always put everything that you had into it. His family was important and special. All of them were nothing like you. Just a little nobody that had nothing but your little shop to keep you busy.
It wasn’t until three hours later that the High Lord left did you realize just how alone that you truly were. You wished that you had a family like he did but you forced your mind to remember how happy that you were for him. There were so many that you had come across in your life that only had half of what he did and even then, there wasn’t much happiness in it.
The next day, you made your way out to begin your search for the things that you would be able to find in town when you saw someone you recognized. It was one of the High Lady’s sisters but you weren’t sure which one it was. You did your best to not be noticed as the female spoke to another one but you were pretty sure that you wouldn’t be.
“Where did you get your dress, Elain?” the female asked.
“This old thing?” Elain looked down at her dress, one that you had made, with her nose scrunched in distaste. “It came from some nobody seamstress. Rhys has never told us anything else.”
“Well, I think it’s beautiful.” The female’s head tilted slightly with a raised eyebrow. “It seems like you don’t like it.”
“It’s definitely not my favorite,” Elain huffed, scrunching her nose in the process.
Unable to hear anymore of the conversation, you turned and darted back to your shop. So many feelings had hit you all at once and you weren’t sure where to start as you began sobbing once you were in the safety of the building that you also lived in. You began doubting yourself and the work that you loved while also wondering if the male that you considered your friend has been lying to you all of this time.
Even though you had cried yourself to sleep in the early afternoon, you were still unable to pull yourself out of bed the next morning. You could barely hear the knock on the front door but you ignored it. You had already felt like no one of any importance but the words that you had overheard only proved it. Not only was it from a customer but also from someone who would be able to destroy what tiny bit of name that you had for yourself in the city within an instant. Facing Rhysand again would be one of the hardest things that you had to do in a long time but you refused to let him down.
You allowed yourself to mope in bed for the remainder of the day in hopes that you would feel a bit better the next day. No sooner than you opened your store, the bell rang and you felt the High Lord’s power throughout the entirety of the small building.
Azriel had felt a bit frustrated when his brother dragged him out of bed and rushed him through his breakfast. He wasn’t sure what the hurry was, not seeing the big deal in getting fitted for new suits and leathers. In truth, he did need them but he felt as if it could’ve waited until a bit later in the day. His High Lord had a hint of eagerness to him that wasn’t so present unless it came to his mate or son.
He was only annoyed further when they arrived at what he could swear was the smallest shop in the entire city and there was no answer even after Rhysand had all but beat the door down. The store couldn’t even be considered to be in the district where most of the stores were but he was somewhat relieved because he was able to spend the rest of his day as he wanted.
Rhysand did the same thing the following day which had both him and Cassian grumbling about doing the same thing two days in a row. Thankfully, the store was open and his brother walked in as if he owned the place with a small smile on his face.
“Is everything alright?” Rhys asked the female at the front desk hesitantly, a hint of worry in his voice. “We came by as planned but there was no answer.”
“I had some business to take care of,” you muttered, causing him and Cassian to glance at each other in confusion.
Neither of them knew who you were nor even knew of the business that was being run here. He watched carefully as you gathered what was needed and even though you carried yourself in a confident manner, you kept your eyes downcast. It was as if you didn’t have it in you to look them in the eyes. You had obviously done so with his brother but it appeared as if it wasn’t the case today.
From what he could see, he could tell that you were beautiful but what would confirm it the most would be some form of eye contact. He watched you carefully as you started with Cassian, fully committed to doing your job to perfection. You started with his other brother’s legs for his height and he only saw a smirk pulling on Cassian’s lips that he was trying to hold back. For reasons unknown to Azriel, it had him frowning and almost bristling at the sight.
You continued on with your work in silence except for a hum here or there when the High Lord asked you questions as if you didn’t want to speak to any of them. It wasn’t until you moved to him did he truly pay attention to you. He wasn’t sure why but the sight of you on your knees in front of him, with your notebook in hand, had heat creeping onto his face. The quietest snicker came from Cassian who had moved behind him. When he turned to glare at him, he noticed a stern look on Rhysand’s face that had his eyebrows furrowing.
Azriel’s body stiffened when your fingers brushed lightly against him to take other measures. He sucked in a quiet breath when you moved behind him to measure the slits for his wings and your fingers just barely grazed them. It sent a jolt of what felt like electricity through him. He cursed himself silently because it wasn’t the first time that his wings had been touched but there was something about yours that nearly had him wanting more of the contact.
He was slightly disappointed when you were finished too quickly for his liking and moved to Rhysand. You still kept your eyes downcast from all of them and it seemed to have the slightest frown tugging at the High Lord’s lips. Cassian continued to watch as if he too was wondering what was going on.
“Everything should be ready in three weeks if that’s alright,” you said, giving Rhysand the briefest glance before returning to your desk.
Rhys ushered them out quickly and was unusually quiet. If he didn’t know any better, he’d say that he was brooding. Neither Cassian nor himself knew anything about you so they weren’t sure what to say but his own curiosity got the better of him.
“Who is she?”
“No one for you to be concerned about,” the High Lord answered. “And you will stay away from her.”
He was given a stern glance but he could note the protective fondness in his eyes. It only caused him to wonder more but he kept quiet on the matter.
You were thankful for the time being that you didn’t have a lot of customers. The work of making suits and gowns for seven people would take a while but you were thankful that it gave you a break from your thoughts. You didn’t waste any waking hour, putting your greatest effort into it all in hopes that the gowns would be appreciated more.
A week had passed faster than you had originally imagined that it would and the only break in your concentration was the bell to your shop opening for the second time during the time. You shouldn’t have been surprised to see Rhysand before you, a small frown on his face as he looked down at you.
“As promised, I have come to spend some quality time with the most beautiful seamstress that I know,” he said with a grin that contradicted the caution in his eyes.
“You come to visit or check on my progress?” you asked, eyeing him for a moment before returning your work.
“As I said, I’ve come to visit,” he repeated gently. “Are you alright? You’re acting differently.”
“Fine,” you answered a bit too quickly to be believable.
“I apologize when I say that I do not believe you.” There was a worried frown on his face that made your heart clench and tears almost formed in your eyes. “Talk to me.”
“I just..” You trailed off, unsure what to say or how to say it. “Why does it matter? I’m just trying to balance everything.”
It was a lie and they both knew it. There was worried determination on his face and you knew that he wouldn’t let it go but you couldn’t bring yourself to tell him what happened. It could possibly cause a divide or rift between the family that you thought so highly of and you couldn’t have that.
“You’re evading,” he replied flatly before his face softened when he gripped your chin lightly to keep your attention on him. “I don’t like seeing you like this.”
“Your family is very important,” you muttered. “I just want to be sure that I make everything perfectly. There’s so many ideas going through my head and I’m just trying to be sure to keep it all together.”
“You are no less important than any of us.” His matter of fact words paired with his gentle smile had a small one forming on your face as well. “As a matter of fact, you are just as important if not more so than my entire family combines.”
“Why?” You moved out of his grip and stared at him flatly. “Look at m-”
“I do see you. Every single time I come in here.” Rhysand continued with a charming smile that caused you to huff. “There is nothing wrong with you.”
“Then why-” You stopped short, reminding yourself to not give into your emotions. “I have Feyre’s gown completed and this one that I’m almost finished with is for Nesta. Do you want to see?”
He nodded with a grin and followed you to a separate room in the back where you kept the outfits that you made. You watched him carefully for his reaction as he stared at the gown and then blew out a silent breath of relief at the genuine smile on his face.
“It’s beautiful,” he said, turning to grin brightly at you. “She will love it and this just may become her new preferred gown.”
“Promise?” you asked tentatively while you tried to decipher if he was lying or not.
“On my mate’s life,” he answered as a look of adoration etched into his features once again.
“Is there anything that I should change about Amren’s, Mor’s, Nesta’s or..” You swallowed hard, the action not going unnoticed by the High Lord. “Elain’s? I want everything to be absolutely perfect for everyone for such an important event.”
“No.” He shook his head but the certainty in his eyes was answer enough. “I look forward to seeing what the rest look like.”
“I’ve made these my top priority so the leathers-”
“Can wait until you’re finished with these,” he replied. “What they have now will work until later.”
“Okay,” you whispered, gripping onto the kind reassurances to push you through your self deprecating thoughts before he pulled you into a tight embrace.
“I wish there was a way to make you realize just how special you are,” he muttered, squeezing tighter to emphasize it. “You remind me so much of my sister.”
Your eyes filled with tears immediately because it was no secret about what happened to his mother and sister. The fact that had such a high opinion of you that he would compare you to someone so important to him had you sobbing. He simply held you until your tears finally ceased and stayed with you for a few hours before returning to his court duties.
By the time that the door shut behind him, you felt a bit better but knew that you would never compare to any of them.
Azriel wasn’t able to keep his mind off of you while they waited for their new suits and gowns for the upcoming ball. He wasn’t sure why but despite his High Lord’s orders, he walked past your shop every so often to simply get a glimpse of you. Only once did he get a full view of your face and it took his breath away as he saw you smile at the only customer that he had noted that you had.
It was reaching the three week mark that you had given his brother and he was itching to ask the High Lord if he would let him retrieve the order. His gut told him that Rhysand wouldn’t allow it. He wasn’t sure why you were kept such a tight secret from all of them but Azriel knew that his brother meant it when he had given the order to stay away from you.
“I can’t go with you today.” Azriel stopped just outside of the study, listening to Rhys as he spoke to Cassian. “I have to leave in a couple of hours to pick up our outfits for our trip to Day Court.”
“I don’t understand why none of us-”
“As I’ve said,” the High Lord growled, his voice low and almost deadly. “You need not worry about her.”
“Yea but she-”
“Is not a topic of discussion.”
The snappy tone of their brother had Cassion falling quiet on the topic but Azriel’s curiosity about you wouldn’t let him sit idly by. It was almost as if he was being pulled towards you and he couldn’t ignore it. He slipped out as silently as he had come in and disobeyed Rhysand’s orders. Even though the plan had already been arranged, Azriel wasn’t bothered with the anger that would surely ensue about him taking the initiative that was purely personal.
The bell on your store’s door sounded as he entered but you were so focused on your work that you didn’t notice his presence until he cleared his throat. You jumped from your stool, startled from the noise before you finally looked at him. It felt like the entire world stopped when you both made eye contact and he felt the one thing that he was beginning to believe that he would never have.
Your eyes went wide and you stumbled backwards, tripping over your stool and fell to the ground in surprise as the golden thread connected the two of you. He rushed as fast as he could through the small area, his wings knocking some items over even though his wings were tucked in tightly behind him. A breath of relief escaped him when you didn’t recoil from him when he reached to help you up.
“I- I don’t- What?” you gasped through heavy breaths as you stood.
“I’m- I’m sorry,” he stuttered, unsure what to say since he didn’t know what you were thinking.
“No. Don’t be. I just..” You took a deep breath before fully looking at him again. “I wasn’t expecting that.”
Your words barely registered in his mind as he stared back at you, your beauty captivating him the longer that he did so. There were so many things that he wanted to say but at the same time being unsure since he didn’t know you. No sooner than he could open his mouth to reassure you, the front door opened and he felt the High Lord’s power filling the store. His brother was angry beyond belief with him.
“Y/N, would you mind stepping outside for a moment while I have a word with my spymaster.”
Azriel could feel the uncertainty and anger flowing off of you but you nodded after swallowing audibly. Once you were out in the streets, Rhysand had him by the collar of his shirt and shoved him harshly into the wall. There was nothing but pure, unadulterated anger on his brother’s face.
“Did I or did I not tell you to stay away from her?” Rhys growled.
“Yes but-”
“But what, Azriel?” he snapped at him. “Are you simply attracted to females that I insist on you staying away from?”
“It isn’t like that,” he tried. “Why are you so insistent on no one knowing about her? None of us even knew that she existed until now.”
“Because I want to protect her.” Azriel was released before Rhysand took a few steps back. “She reminds me too much of my sister and I refuse to let anything happen to her. If that means keeping all of you clueless to her existence then that is what I will do.”
Azriel’s thought began flooding in all at once, making it hard to keep up with what his shadows were whispering and the things that he wanted to say. He understood now what his High Lord’s motivations were but there was no way that he could let his mate go. Not after finally finding it after the centuries that he had waited for it. As he went to explain what had happened, the door opened again and it had your scent filling the room.
“I don’t want to be the reason that there’s trouble,” you mumbled as you looked at your feet.
“You are not-”
“We’re mates,” Azriel said, interrupting Rhys.
The High Lord’s eyes widened when he swirled around to look at him. There was uncertainty in them while he stared at him before looking back at the female that he held in such high regards. For the first time in a long time, his brother was speechless and Azriel was honestly shocked.
“I don’t deserve it,” you continued, finally looking up with tear filled eyes. “I don’t deserve someone as special and amazing as he is.”
“Why?” he asked in a raspy voice.
“You- All of you-” You paused, taking a deep breath. “You’re all so much better than me to the point that some of my dresses aren’t even liked.”
“What do you mean, Y/N?”
Your eyes switched between Rhysand and himself before stopping on the former. The tears that began flowing down your face made him unable to not go to you, placing his hands on each cheek in hopes of calming you.
“I heard Elain telling someone that she didn’t like-”
“Screw her and her opinion,” he growled before apologizing when your eyes went wide.
“There is a dress in particular that she isn’t the most fond of,” Rhys answered and you looked around him to gaze at the High Lord. “It is the only one and she simply doesn’t care for certain parts of the style. It has nothing to do with you or how amazing that your work is. It is simply a personal problem.”
“She said I was a nobody,” you sniffled, the words causing his body to shake slightly in anger.
“That’s my fault.” Your brows furrowed at Rhys’s words. “You’re an amazing female and I didn’t want to risk putting you into danger by letting all of them know who you are.”
“But I-”
“Give us a chance,” Azriel whispered, pulling your eyes back to his. “Please.”
“Why don’t we start with the upcoming ball?” Rhys gave you a small smile when you looked at him cautiously. “It’d be a high honor for my shadowsinger to have you by his side.”
“It would,” he agreed.
Your bright smile in return for his words sent his heart fluttering and a rare, genuine smile adorned his face. He knew right then and there that there was nothing that he wouldn’t do to keep that smile on your face.
It was the start of something new that he couldn’t wait to see unfold.
@amara-moonlight @allygrace74 @sidthedollface2 @historygeekqueen @hnyclover @kalulakunundrum @historygeekqueen @bubybubsters @thisblogisaboutabook @mybestfriendmademe @caroline-books @justvibbinghere @wisdomofthebrain
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naked cuddles w jake ( fluff )
because of jake's type of lifestyle, he tends to fall asleep right when he comes homes. he likes short showers and then be asleep within seconds his head fell on his pillow.
but since you came in his life, he would add you to his routine. he likes having you waiting from him in his dorms but he likes it more going to ur place. he would knock your front door softly, his head hanging low, exhausting taking his whole body. once you appear in front of his eyes, he automatically feels better. he is few minutes away from ur warmth under ur covers. so his head automatically highs up and tiredly smiles at you. he would always gives u the tightest hug, his head in your neck, kissing you and smelling you deeply. i've missed you baby, he murmured. you know, he would never let you go, so you always have to walk backwards n until your in your place, him using his foot to shut the door. the worst moment of his day is to let u out of his arms but he knows it's for the better, so thats what he would always do in order to take off his outside clothes n his shoes. but he would never forget to take ur cheeks in his hands first n kiss you softly.
the routine is always the same, you both would talk on the couch, legs tangles together, eating the meal you made him. he would still be whispering still clinging on you like a koala. he always help you w the dishes. or more like you clean them n he would be back hugging you. than you for the meal, baby. it was delicious, he softly says while his arm around u hugs u tighter. can we take a shower together now, please ? and how can you say no to him.
so per usual, you would find urself under the stream of hot water, jake still all over you but this time he is actually helping you. helping you with shampoing your hair or brushing them, help you wash ur back and arms. while doing so, he would kiss whatever skin he has in front of him along with soft whispers my soft baby , youre so pretty, i love you's. and as munch as jake is tired, he never stop cherishing you first, loving you first, helping you first. but you'd obviously do the same for him. kissing his barefaced softly, thanking him for everything he does for you, washing his hair w nothing but pure love ...
he is a gentleman, so he would always helps you step out of the shower, him following you close. and you already know what he is going to do, he is going to stop you and ask you if u guys can sleep naked together. so you don't bother trying to dry him w his towel but just drag him into your bedroom, making him smile. it was weird for you at first to just stay naked around him, but jake never stares at you weirdly his eyes always on yours or your face, specially when he is tired like this, he just want you in his arms. skin to skin. the closest he can to his angel. jake would always lead you under your covers, not caring about skin care nor hair care nor drying your or his hair, his wants is too strong now.
jake prefers big spooning you so he can sleep peacefully knowing that you are protected. but when he is like this, he prefers seeing your face, between his chest and his arms. you don't kno why but it's because he can have an easier access to to kiss you. so once comfortable, his top leg on top of both of yours, arms circling the top of your body n his head on your, fully caging you, he can finally and fully let go. and so do you, his body warmth engulfing his whole body, his soft pattern made by his hand on your hair, his body smell right under ur nose, his slowing heartbeat,, everything is making you falling asleep. but tho him it's not the end yet. he been waiting his whole day to have you like this in his arms, so as munch as he is tired, he would always fall asleep after you. he always fails tho, ur presence making him too munch at ease, so within minutes he is also in dreamland. but he fights back. he would kiss your face. soft kisses are felt in your hair, along with hums, feather like kisses on your forehead, pecks on your nose. his arms would move from time to time, lingering fingers mindlessly groping or drawing patterns on ur figures.
jake would sometimes be strong enough to let out a sleep well angel, but most of the time he is already with you, in the arms of morpheus.
notes : here is my first fic t__t i didn't kno how to end it but i do hope its readable n made u feel as fizzy as i did while writing it. lemme kno what you think about it <3
@imaluckygirl @luvj4key @heeseungswifefr @goldenretrieverjakezgirlbaby @jaeyunpinkyring
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౨ৎ HOW YOU GET THE GIRL PT.2
“remind me how it used to be, pictures in frames of kisses on cheeks… and say you want me” - taylor swift (smau)
contains: charlie bushnell x fem!reader (part 1 here)
description: i just watched an edward scissorhands ballet and its made me reminiscent of my dance days… why did angsty teen me quit!!
Liked by iamcharliebushnell, dior.n.goodjohn and others
yn.ln last little photo dump, with taylor stealing my phone and taking a selfie which is something i never thought would happen?!
tagged iamcharliebushnell, taylorswift
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user1 charlies been REAL quiet since the comment
↳ user2 I dont think its awkward between them bc otherwise she wouldnt be posting them together
dior.n.goodjohn imagine having THE TAYLOR SWIFT hijack ur phone
↳ yn.ln ikr like i mean she can keep it if she wants idm 🤷♀️
user3 me trying to figure out if the post is from the mv or behind the scenes
↳ user4 yeeah like it IS a scene but from a phone camera… and they r pretty close
user13 HE WANTS U FOR WORSE OR FOR BETTER!!!!
user5 well, she isnt fighting the dating allegations is she
↳ user6 why would she have to?
taylorswift 😘😘😘
user7 R THEY TOGETHER??!!
↳ user8 i dont think so, just rly close
user9 why is it the end of the photo dumps 😃
↳ user10 probs bc thats all the photos she has from it 🙄
user11 ok NOW get her cast on percy jackson
user12 they better be dating or im going to kms
Direct Messages:
You: Heyy charlie, what was that comment about that walker sent?
Charlie: Ohh did u see that?
You: Yeah sorryyyy!
Charlie: No dont be sorry, it was just walker yk? he goes on about random stuff to annoy people a bit
Yn: So.. its not true?
Charlie: I think it was just a joke 😄
Yn: Oh okayy! Sorry! Are we still on for the weekend then? Maybe we can chat ab it
Charlie: Of course!!!! … whats there to talk about tho?
Liked by taylorswift, iamcharliebushnell and others
yn.ln we in fact had A LOT to talk about
tagged iamcharliebushnell
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user5 why do i feel like we missed a chapter
dior.n.goodjohn if i had to sit through one more session of you two yearning for eachover i might have gone crazy
↳ user6 why can i envision this perfectly
user1 talk about, or kiss about?
↳ yn.ln WOWOWOW
user2 HE GOT THE GIRL!!
walker.scobell i take full credit for this
↳ user4 everyone say thank u to walker!
↳ user3 thank u walker 🙏
↳ iamcharliebushnell thank you walker
↳ yn.ln aint no way charlie, u were in so much denial about his comment its embarassing
↳ iamcharliebushnell 😣😣😣
leahsavajeffries FINALLY!!!
user7 OMGOMGOMG
taylorswift i feel like im a matchmaker rn
↳ yn.ln you are, and a very good one at that
user8 ON VALENTINES DAY TOO? SOMEONE GRAB ME A GUN RN
user9 jokes aside her hairband is super cute
↳ yn.ln its my prized possession, i will wear it any chance i get
Liked by taylorswift, dior.n.goodjohn and others
yn.ln omgomg, still in awe that our how you get the girl music video won an AWARD?! It was all u taylor boo 🩷🩷
tagged iamcharliebushnell, taylorswift
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user1 THE OUTFITS? THE HAIR? THEY ALL ATE SO HARD THERES NOT EVEN A KITCHEN ANYMORE
taylorswift all ME?! u ARE how u get the girl
↳ yn.ln STOP THIS MADNESS
↳ iamcharliebushnell what about mee?? 😣
↳ yn.ln oh! 😄 well ur a guy so…
↳ user3 me he heee
↳ user4 yns so real
sabrinacarpenter ahh congrats!! So well deserved!! 🎉🎉
user2 i cant believe this is real, yn, taylor, and charlie ?!?!
dior.n.goodjohn I WAS ROOTING FOR U!!
↳ iamcharliebushnell I WOULD HOPE SO?!
user5 charlie got the girl and got the award !
↳ user6 that was so cringey
user7 yn and taylor are my new fav duo
gracieabrams YESS!! WELL DONE 🥳🥳
taglist: @highfidelities @lostinhisworld @lizziesfirstwife @auttumnsayshi @silkenthusiasts @taygrls @kidkrowk @kanojous @niktwazny303 @m00ng4z3r
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Graceland too
Clarisse la rue x fem!reader (Athena's kid)
Sumarry: When a certain daughter of Athena felt unappreciated her whole life, someone was there to see her.
Warnings: Sad girl hours, shitty parenthood, hurt/comfort because im no monster and probably other things wich i forgot.
a/n: look who is back!
Demigod.
Half blood.
Half a goddess.
Half a human (?).
And yet, fully a disappointment.
When Athena sent me to my Dad's house, in a golden crib, dressed in pure white dress, glowing, how the myths would expect a demigod to be, then, and only right then i was a gift.
A piece o divine love, something to prove to him, till the end of his life, that at some point, he was good enough for a Goddess.
But days after, immediately, i was just a crying baby, hungry, with a busy father, without a mother, and that only made him remember that, that was it.
He wasnt good enough for her, she wasnt staying, she never even actually even considered, he would never have that kind of honour, only a crying baby he never expected.
I wasnt a gift anymore, it actually felt like i was a insult, everything about me started to enrage him.
And oh, how did he reminded me of that every single day of my existence.
When i got diagnosed with dyslexia all i've heard whas that Athena gave me up to him because i was defective, when i couldnt sit still during classes, and exploded with all the repression i suffered everyday, suddently i was a clock bomb, when my grades where great, i was never rewarded, it was "the least i could do, to make up for the shame that i was".
I was never loved, never wanted, never encouraged, at least not by him.
The very little love i've known in my life, i own to the people who felt pitty of me.
The teachers, the neighbours who have heard the insults, the stray animals who could sense sadness, the very old grandparents who never actually saw me more than twice a year, and the people who worked at a nerby library, who let me stay past closing time, leaving only with the cleaners.
I was 12 when he had enough and sent me to camp, literally the very day school was over.
I came home to my clothes packed and him waiting by the car keys.
Being in camp for the first time, was also the very first time in my life i have ever felt....normal.
Not good, not bad, not great, not terrible, i was one, and that was enough.
I spend that summer being quiet, i sat in the corner, i didnt spoke, i didnt interrupted, i didnt had any ideas, i wasnt good enough to do that, thats what i've been told my whole life, thats my true.
It took a whole new summer for Athena to claim me.
I have always wondered if she was fighting with herself, if she had any problems having to admit that she made a mistake, with me, or with him.
It didn't matter, for the first time i had brothers and sisters, who wanted me, who understood when i wasnt the best, who asked for my graded tests, to put up in the wall.
They understood when i was hard to crack, when i insisted in being quiet, when i wouldnt share my ideas, they understood it all.
I didn't.
Each and every new summer i spent there, all i could ask myself was:
Why could i not be great like all of them?
Why im still afraid?
Why i was still useless?
Im now sixteen and the same questions still were unanswered.
And today i felt worse than ever.
It was my birthday, and i havent got a single letter from him, nothing, nothing.
It felt like he was saying i wasnt worth anything again.
Earlier, i tried to pretend nothing was happening, smiling with my siblings, finally making plans for capture the flag, finally belonging like i promissed i would try to do that year.
My plan was used, it wasnt perfect, but it was used, and surprising myself and the other team, we won.
I could see the other team confused, and Clarisse cussing us to death.
Still i was so happy, for the first time in my life i showed myself, and i worked....partially.
The happiness of victory didnt last much in me, because i saw a new brother of mine almost bursting to tears, he was young and just got claimed a few days ago, he wasnt used to that, and he wasnt supose to get hurt, but the red that painted his arms said otherwise.
I couldnt stare at him without feeling like i failed again.
Why couldnt i be perfect for once?
I took him to infirmary and held his hand while he was getting his stiches, saying sorry all the time.
I tried thinking it was okay, people get hurt, move on.
I had diner, i took a bath, i tried to sleep, i couldnt.
The tears were falling down and i knew i wouldn't be quiet.
So i got up and walked to the cabin's porch, sitting on the last step and letting my head fall to my knees.
Why couldnt i be great?
Why couldnt i be in peace with myself?
Why couldnt my mom bless me?
Why couldnt my dad love me?
Why did he had to be so mean?
I was a kid for fucks sake.
"Are you okay?" I heard someone saying, that made me freeze, that voice was not from any of my sisters, was i crying so hard i woke up someone from other cabin?
"I- yes, sorry i didn't knew i was crying so hard to wake people from other cabins, im sorry"
"You didn't, i was sneaking out to train some more, and saw you, our cabins face each other"
That was...Clarisse?
I wiped my tears and look up, she was staring at me with a almost worried look
"Clarisse?"
"Yes, why are you crying?"
She sat down by my side, dropping a sword in the grass.
"Its nothing really, im fine, you dont need to bothe-"
"No, cut the crap" she stopped me mid sentence "no one ever weeps in the middle of the night out of happiness, you are not fine and im not letting you lie OR leave until you tell me what it is"
We stare at each other, and ill need to thank the night light being bad because i probably look like crap right now, im sure my eyes are red, my nose too, im probably with a very swollen face and id bet all the dracmas i own that my hair its no better than a nest of birds.
"Go on...tell me"
I layed myself in the stairs, looking at the sky, trying to think of a way to tell everything, without sounding crazy
"I dont deserve to be here, Clarisse."
"Here..where?"
"This cabin, i dont deserve to be called daughter of the goddess of wisdom, i dont deserve being here with them, my siblings they are great, more than good, great, they will do great things with themselfs, amazing writers, architects, brilliant musicians, historians, why am i here? Im not even good, why im with the great?"
"Wait wait wait" she made me sit down again and look at her "not even good? What are you talking about? Wasnt the strategy in the last capture the flag yours? Yall won, and if somebody asks me later i've never said this but that was good, some really good strategy, i was almost thinking of asking chiron to switch you teams, you were great, more than that, and now you're here telling me you are not egen good? Are you on drugs?"
"Clarisse you dont need to pretend you care that much, and my plan wasnt all that, my brother got hurt, that wasnt supose to happen, i failed him, if i was good enough he wouldnt even be there"
She had a very confused look on her face, like she really did not knew what i was talking about.
"You're not talking about the little boy you took to the infirmary and that small cut in his forearm are you? Cause that boy was far from almost dying like you are making it sound like-" she looked at my eyes, i didnt needed a mirror to have sure how i was, i've seen myself like that too much to count, everytime my dad said i wasnt good enough, sad, lifeless.
"I failed again Clarisse, im not good enough to be here, im useless, worthless"
She looked at me and did the last thing i tought she would, Clarisse hugged me.
"Dont say that, c'mon, worthless? I've seen you fight, i've seen your plans, you dont talk much but i've heard your ideas, you are far from being useless or worthless, who the fuck told you that?"
"My f- you heard me?" I looked at her, only to see a look i couldnt distinguish "what do you mean?"
She looked at her own feet, then at her sword, reflecting the moonlight.
"You really dont know?" She looks at me "i- well, i've heard you, the same way i see you everyday, thats how i know you like morning walks, sweet green grapes, baked goods...how i know you are probably the only child of Athena who has never read "the art of war", that you walk without looking at peoples faces....its weird, i've seen you so much throughout this years and it feels like this is the first time you are actually seeing me"
"But i've saw you before-"
"Thats not what i was saying, you looked at me many times, but did you ever saw me until today?"
I looked at her blinking, and after a moment of silent i said "you like dark chocolate, and lemon flavoured soda, and sneaking out to train when the harpies take their breaks, by the way you missed that, and you always ask for double the quantity of food you eat, so when you burn it you still can eat enough, by the way i stole that idea-"
She is smilling, big, really big, i think i am too.
Of course i saw Clarisse, who wouldnt, she was strong, brave, beautiful, to me was a wonder she didnt had people running to get her attention.
She got closer to me "does that mean i can-" i stopped her mid sentence again
"Maybe..."
"Im going to make you forget that "im not good enough" nonsense, belive me"
She is smilling while kissing me, and i am too.
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hai here is a sketch dump with too many fandoms :) sorry about the ungodly amount of men here i have been going through it and by it i mean gay
ok wait i ran out of tags??? it wont let me tag them all😭😭😭 im gonna have to be sparing with them uhh i guess i will have to ramble under the cut then cus i like rambling in my tags but i cant with this one 😭
(ok im back from the ramble: it is way too long.... proceed forward if you want to see some guy just absolutely talk nonsense for entirely too long)
no cus i swear i have tried tagging more stuff than this before and never hit the limit but whatever
hello i really use this like a fkn blog huh
i just wanted to provide some thoughts on the harper and rosé one first bc its important to me 😌 cus i was thinking abt harper and how in my head and heart of hearts she would be the kid who thought you get pregnant from kissing and i dont think she ever really grew out of that belief. <- this ended up spawning the idea of harper being a sex-repulsed ace and i will die on this hill actually. fight me or die, you die either way actually nvm
this is just a buncha blorbos i dont know what to tell you really. sketch pages like these always end up so weird for me bc for some reason my brain always wants the characters in them to interact in some way. whether that be talking or just reacting to what the other is doing... its something i cant stop with, its so stupid and silly and i hate it and i love it. where else would i see kabru slowly losing his mind with how loud phoenix wright is in court????
I THOUGHT I HAD GOTTEN OFF THE RAILS WITH THAT BUT THEN THE NEXT PAGE HAPPENED. and all i could do was laugh and ask "what the fuck am i drawing??? HOW DID WE GET HERE? WHY IS THISTLE HERE WITH LEOPIKA HELP" LIKE that page started with the big leopika and then i was like "man i miss thistle lemme draw him real quick" but the curse struck and now hes being homophobic so </3
i rlly like how the nic(k) page turned out ... i just have a lot of nicks i like drawing idk.. the lil guy is an oc,,, one day his ref sheet will be finished and itll be awesome but not for now, sorry baby, no can do. im weirdly happy with how the hands turned out for all of them tho?? so thats a W
yotasuke, murai, nick (youll never know which one im referring to. .. jkjk its hoult i love the pose there ehehhe), nic and the entire last page r my favs. i like em all but those rlly get me yknow- the olly too ofc but ive already posted him, dont mind him being here, hes part of the set. AND OVER ALL IVE BEEN HAVING SO FUN WITH SHADING BLACK AND JUST LEAVING SPOTS BLANK ITS SO ?`????
WHY IS THIS SO LONG PLS DONT READ ALL THIS THIS IS STRAIGHT UP EMBARRASSING AGHSDFGSDHJSGD im all like "yeah i dont like talking about myself or whatever" but as soon as i get to my process or blorbos or smth the floodgates fucking break open, not even burst man.
also dont mind how i havent even acknowledged pingas twink pokemon counterpart. hes just here for shits and giggles i dont know the guy like at all, i watched a handful of eps of horizons and that was it RIP
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tw: slight suicidal actions (but not really the batfam are wildly clueless to the actual context to danny's bullshit hes not suicidal--in this fic--he's dead get it RIGHT brucie)
Au where Batfam are entirely convinced that the new vigilante in Gotham, danny, has time travel powers because he can vanish away from their senses completely
This becomes a problem however when
Bruce searches for him because wants to save Jason. Danny can save Jason not in the--im a time traveler and i can bring him or you back from or to the past--but in the, I’m a ghost king and have domain over the dead haha
Batfam become really concerned watching Phantom fight because “if he has time travel powers why doesn’t he avoid getting hit every time he can” and get worried phantom is purposefully letting himself get hurt
Danny in all honesty is just vibin the entire time while the batfam is going crazy at every sliver of info they get about danny because like
okay hes a time traveler thats established they got over that
This guy whos somehow been able to stop and rehabilitate rouges (ghosts) in his town is 15??
he may be the kindest most self destructive kid they've ever met like who immediately agrees to help people who were trying to capture and interogate him because he 'thinks we are better than the last billionaire who did this' what the FUCK
Oh yeah and they find out as a bonus in the end that his normal unpowered form he is a teen with black hair and blue eyes (bruce no no dont do it dont--)
---
Bruce is losing his mind
Okay so at the start of this there’s an unknown vigilante (danny) that Batman tends to bump into. Except Batman isn’t sure what he is.
Every time they run into each other Batman can tell there should just be a person beside him but before he gets a glimpse and opens his eyes to empty fresh air.
A vigilante that can vanish before their very eyes?
What do the bats think about this?
They think this vigilante can control time and is doing that to sneak out of their gaze.
Now here’s where the funny part comes in
Bruce goes on a wild hunt to search for the vigilante with a plan. To make them turn back time so that he can save his son.
The problem with this?
Danny is not a time traveler most days–scratch that he's not one at all. He can save his son Jason though, in fact he wants to, it’s just he needs to figure out a way to do this whilst not blowing his cover that he is the goddamn ghost king.
So he pretends that he does have time powers and that he just… uh… needs a minute to figure them out… yeah that!
Cue Batfam getting progressively more worried about Danny because ‘if he could turn back time—why doesn’t he avoid those hits?’
They all kinda think Danny is like purposefully hurting himself so now Danny is forced to eat breakfast with them and sleep at their manor.
I mean he’s confused at why they always look so worried about something but he’ll make sure Batman’s son gets home soon! Plus the rich people temporary-living-situation without all the ‘I want to adopt you’ billionaire bullshit is pretty sweet!!
(somewhere in the ghost zone jason is tearing up laughing at the batfam as they struggle to not burst into flames trying to figure out danny-- like for christs sake they think the ghost king is an american doctor who and are trying to get him to spill where his tardis is)
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Toshiro/Shuro is overhated
(mirror of my thread on twitter)
ever wanted to talk abt something so bad but u have so many thoughts so u cant even begin to organize a sentence. thats me abt shuro and its why i cant give my thoughts on him. i NEED to get this out of my system bc its takign up so much memory in my brain i need that space for thinking.
so i was really surprised to find so much hate for him even tho he seems pretty normal and rational out of the whole cast. ive deducted that its mostly abt his laios fight and that the ppl who hate him probably had bad experiences w social cues and relationships w neurotypicals bc of that. theres no way to avoid it bc its pretty much Right In Your Face that laios is ND. but thats not the only factor in why their relationship is rocky. its also the culture barrier. u have to understand toshiro was raised as JAPANESE NOBILITY ofc he would be a little conservative
also culture shock. idk if u know this but jp culture is very Mind Your Own Business like a lot of other asian cultures . ofc hes gonna be weirded out by a stranger invading his space. also his names not even Shuro. its just yt ppl not pronouncing his name right and settling for whats easiest.
img src: fan translation by savaralyn2 , i think its from the adventurers bible Complete Edition bc i dont remember it in the old one
ok you get the gist of the culture aspect of it. lets go into the ND/NT clash aspect of it. yes i understand its pretty hurtful to never be told when youre acting inappropriately. i am autistic too lmao. but you have to understand that shiro is one guy and he even does realize that repressing things is one of his fatal flaws. again. asian culture. non confrontational. that sorta thing. but these are genuine frustrations. if i were him id be annoyed too but id speak out about it. set boundaries. bc im blunt. shiros not. he was taught crazy strict manners (hierarchies, respect, politeness, etc).
his problem isnt ableism its a culmination of culture barriers, how he was raised to behave, and terrible lack of communication as thing caused by "all of the above" plus he just generally keeps to himself a lot which means repressing frustrations that will explode leading to a pathetic fistfight while hes starved, exhausted, and dehydrated. also. if he was ableist he would hate laios. he doesnt hate laios. at the end of the day, they are friends. NT and ND ppl can be friends u know. there will be rifts (like their fight) but you just have to communicate misunderstandings. theyre gonna be fine lol
anyways that was my whole spiel abt it. i think i got everything out that i wanted to? my head still feels a little full so i may add more later when i remember something
also i think its a little unfair to rule out the possibility of laios and him just being 2 very different kinds of ND bc its very common for misunderstandings to occur even then. EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT BUT WE NEED TO COMMUNICATE TO UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER! but for the sake of interpreting the Fight as a commentary on NT social rules and ND frustration, ill say toshiros NT. will we ever know? hes so far in the sidelines... youd really have to dig in the extra content to see the intricacies of his character.... please give him a chance
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for those who struggle
i recently got sent an anon message about frustrations surrounding the law, and how non-dualism hasn't made it any easier for them, but actually just more frustrating to the point where they're officially walking away from everything and wanting to just go back to live as they knew it before any of this.
the truth is that, oversimplification runs rampant in this community. as well as, hiding behind the realities of how difficult it all can be, because people are afraid of affirming that it's difficult or identifying with difficulty... but when we hide from this experience and try to come off as if it doesn't affect us, while simultaneously trying to give out advice, there tends to be more damage than good happening. the oversimplifying isn't the fault of anyone, as the truth is most of this is simple. but in actually living it, it tends to not be simple at all. the ego will fight till the very end to keep things the way they are, even when they hurt us. and that is worth being honest about.
when it comes to non-identification and indifference, this is not meant to be used to as yet another way to pretend something isn't happening or push down your feelings or gaslight yourself. i see these posts like, "just ignore the 3d and don't identify with it and you would have already have what you wanted" ..... this doesn't actually really help anyone, unless you're a person who strives on that kind of mentality. but i think a lot of people need a little more gentleness and realness, otherwise this journey wouldn't have been so difficult and painful. we'd all just get it overnight, but clearly, this community stays extremely active for a reason. because the million ways its already been explained still leaves so many confused and frustrated.
indifference is a daily practice, and it is NOT one that includes pretending something doesn't exist in exchange for getting what you want. it is actually, the extreme opposite. it's by acknowledging what's there... and allowing that to be what it is. the non-identification comes in from how you choose to see YOURSELF in relation to whatever that thing is. "this is painful, this sucks, i hate it... but that doesn't mean tomorrow won't be better for me. it doesn't mean my life is doomed..." etc etc etc. it's this very small flip within yourself, that actually leads to results. not trying to force yourself into believing you aren't even who you are when you've identified as yourself this entire life. remember that god's name is I AM, and literally nothing else.
and doing something to get something else is just... not it. it's time for you to truly want to feel better, regardless of anything else. that's why so much of this starts to get trickier than it needs to be.
non-identification is literally as simple as realizing... you are bound to no past, and you have the opportunity of every future you can possibly imagine. why ? because non-identification is literally just non-attachment. when you're not attached to this idea of who you were, of the struggles you used to face, you're able to allow in different experiences. and y'all... this as simple as being able to say to yourself, "i am allowed to experience something new" and don't let your fear of the unknown stop you from experiencing something new.
here's where it doesn't feel so simple though. how can you just stop identifying with this whole human self when the traumas of the past keep coming back to haunt you ? thats the thing. you don't just stop identifying with it. you let this be a process, a non-linear path to liberation. slowly, but surely, if you keep at it everyday, even when you feel you're only going backwards... one day you will realize how much more free you are. how much more easier it is to move into a new beautiful story for yourself, one that isn't contiminated by your past. but let today be today ! and whatever may come, let it come.
this is why just focusing on yourself is so helpful because if you're simply doing the best you can for yourself and your feeling state, the daily dramas are no longer your ruler.
the gag is that, the more you just do these small daily practices of sitting with yourself, choosing to not engage in the stories you used to identify with in the past, and allow new experiences to come to you... the more easy it gets, the more the truth of yourself begins to show itself on its own. you have to realize that the days are going to keep passing by anyway... so stop counting them, and just commit to yourself.
i also want to quickly note that so many seem to leave out the fact that behind all of this, within the pure nothingness that is also everything. behind our human identifications and all the things we have experienced in our lives, there is unconditional love. and when we actually begin to stop identifying so deeply with who we thought we are, we are lead right back to unconditional love. love in its purest form. so, use love as your guide when things get too difficult. it's the truest thing to who you really are.
you have to let allow yourself to experience the beautiful, despite how strange it may feel. because it's going to feel strange if you've never really experienced it before, and the ego is going to fight because even when it's good, the unknown is still strange and scary. and you never have to be perfect at this to get to experience the things you want, believe it or not. i know that i still have a long way to go on this journey, there may be much more time before i ever get to fully experience the promise in full, but that hasn't stopped me from experiencing the desires of my heart on a daily basis. that's because i used these simple things, these small little flips in how i chose to see life. even if the anxiety never went away, or it was a more difficult day full of tears... this is way more possible for you than you realize. if only you're willing to allow your life to be different than it's always been. just that small allowance, opens up all the doors.
xo dream 🕊
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