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#but I don't think Jimmy actually cared about this
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James Wilson dating someone who gets cute aggression
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Warnings: cute aggression (duh) so there's mention of playful biting and such from the reader
A/N: this idea popped into my head randomly and I thought it'd be a big hit with my fellow Wilson lovers because honestly who doesn't get cute aggression when looking at him
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I don't think Wilson would know what cute aggression is but I'm pretty sure he's used to people displaying their affection in less than conventional ways given that House is his best friend
He wouldn't have a problem with it, per say, but he'd certainly be confused to first time you do it
Picture it: he's sitting in his office as he fills out paperwork while you're waiting for him to finish. You're so bored and want his attention so badly that when he stops writing for even a second you take that as an opportunity to bite his hand
You don't bite hard enough to draw blood or anything, just hard enough to get his attention
He stops what he was doing and looks over at you with a befuddled expression on his face, his big brown puppy dog eyes full of confusion
"Did you just- did you just bite me?" It's clear from the disbelief in his voice that he doesn't know what to think. He'd never been bitten before, certainly not in such a casual manner
"Yeah, so?" You gave him a slight shrug as if it were no big deal. "Sometimes I bite people I like. Is that a problem?"
Being the little people pleaser he is, he of course says no. "Uh, not at all. I just- I wasn't expecting that"
He goes back to work, thinking that'll be the end of it. It's not, as you decide to take his indifference as an invitation to bite him whenever you get the chance to
It doesn't take that long for him to get used to your strange habits of biting him when he's not paying attention to you or squeezing him a little too hard when giving him hugs
If House finds out about your cute aggression (which, let's be honest, of course he does because he has no respect for other people's privacy) he uses that information as a way to get on Wilson's nerves all the time
"Nice bite marks on your hand. Did you get a dog recently, or is it just another act of affection from your doting partner?"
"Shut up, House"
"What? I'm not the one willingly giving myself up to be somebody else's chew toy"
In all honesty, Wilson actually doesn't mind your cute aggression, even if he knows he probably should
He always lets you playfully bite his hand or give him really tight hugs when you ask with no complaint, finding the acts to be oddly endearing for some reason
Even when you coddle and baby talk him the same way someone might speak to a pet the most he might do is roll his eyes or let out a loud exasperated sigh
"You're so cute, Jimmy, did you know that? It makes me want to wrap you up and never let you go"
"Well, it's nice to know you care about me, even if you are talking to me like I'm a dog"
"Hey, it's not my fault you have the biggest, most adorable set of puppy dog eyes around that make you look like such a little cutie patootie"
"You're as bad as House, did you know that?"
"I take that as a compliment"
"Of course you do"
All in all, Wilson loves you and knows that you love him, even if you show it in an odd way
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Likes < reblogs | comments are greatly appreciated <3
Main masterlist | House MD masterlist | wanna be added to my taglist?
🏷 taglist: none yet to tag
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sophietheghost · 1 year
Text
Oh dear canary
You shoud be dead, but a lover give you life
You should be dead, but your family begged you to kill them
You should be dead, but the word saved you
You should be dead, but you just run out of time
The word love you
But even then
We can't stop you from falling
Dear canary,
Our sweet songbird
We're so sorry
46 notes · View notes
vivwritesfics · 5 months
Text
Dog Mom 🤝 Cat Dad
Y/N Leclerc is a dog mom. Max Verstappen is a cat dad. The two go hand in hand
Social Media Au
spottydogrockie
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liked by username, charles_leclerc, and 1,456 others
spottydogrockie Rockie says thank you uncle Charlie
view all 194 comments
arthur_leclerc I'm the favourite uncle
spottydogrockie sure you are, arthur
lewishamilton Bring him to the next grand prix!
spottydogrockie he'll be in Ferrari red 🫡
username01 i have never been jealous of a dog
username02 Rockie Leclerc is my favourite Leclerc
charles_leclerc my favourite nephew
spottydogrockie your only nephew?
maxverstappen1 cats are better
spottydogrockie are you lonely, max?
maverstappen1 no i have my cats
spottydogrockie guys i think he's lonely
spottydogrockie
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liked by lorenzotl, maxverstappen1, and 4,865 others
spottydogrockie more talented than uncle Charlie
view all 438 comments
charles_leclerc sure you are, Rockie
username03 The real talent in the Leclerc family!
username04 pls put him in Charles' car next time you attend the race!
maxverstappen1 I could hear this from my apartment
spottydogrockie your ears have been blessed
maxverstappen1 i'm legally deaf now
spottydogrockie i'm legally obliged to say i don't care
username05 anybody know if Max and Y/N Leclerc really hate each other?
username06 omg charles was asked about this in an interview lemme find it real quick
username07 begging the instagram algorithm gives me the answers to this
spottydogrockie
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liked by arthur_leclerc, landonorris, and 6,448 others
spottydogrockie sweater is now covered in dog hair
view all 557 comments
username08 THIS ISN'T Y/N'S SWEATER WHO'S IS IT???????
landonorris sus
username08 WHAT DO YOU KNOW
charles_leclerc nice sweater you got
arthur_leclerc where did you get it?
username09 no because I swear I've seen this sweater before i just can't remember who on
pierregasly rockie is gaslaying
spottydogrockie ew that was disgusting
spottydogrockie leave me and my son alone
spottydogrockie
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tagged maxverstappen1
liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc, and 8,345 others
spottydogrockie contrary to popular belief, we don't hate each other
view all 587 comments
maxverstappen1 conveniently not mentioning the part where rockie chased jimmy through my apartment and broke my trophy
spottydogrockie he wanted to humble you
username10 I'M SORRY WHAT?
username11 oh my god Rocky did a Lando
maxverstappen1 its rockie, actually
username11 MAX OMG
landonorris sus
spottydogrockie why you so obsessed w me
f1gossip
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liked by username12, y/n_leclerc, and 18,036 others
f1gossip eagle-eyed fans spot Max Verstappen walking Y/N Leclerc's dog in Monaco. In the picture we can see Max walking Rockie through the snow with no Y/N in sight. Fans who frequent the dogs social media page with the apparent feud between cat dad Verstappen and dog mom Leclerc. But not everything is as it seems?
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username12 they're dating c'mon
username13 max not sim racing is already surprising enough but i was not ready to see him with a dog
username14 no but rockie posted the other day that they had a playdate at Max's apartment and rockie broke a trophy they're 100% dating
username15 Y/N USING HER OWN ACCOUNT IN THE LIKES!?!
spottydogrockie
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liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc, and 10,643 others
spottydogrockie mom calls it stirring the pot
view all 4951 comments
username16 NO THEY'RE DATING
usename17 WHO?
username18 not rockie soft launching 😭
charles_leclerc you have my approval
spottydogrockie never asked
athur_leclerc want me to send the pictures I have?
charles_leclerc ARTHUR
spottydogrockie oops
username19 Max not commenting?
maxverstappen1
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liked by y/n_leclerc, charles_leclerc, and 600,812 others
maxverstappen1 us
view all 6,758 comments
username19 HARD LAUNCH
y/n_leclerc is this your way of telling me you got me another dog?
maxverstappen1 i'm a cat person
y/n_leclerc sure you are
username20 this is the cutest thing i've ever seen
spottydogrockie
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tagged maxverstappen1
liked by maxverstappen1, arthur_leclerc, and 16,593 others
spottydogrockie 'i'M a cAt pErsOn'
view all 1,739 comments
maxverstappen1 blasphemy
landonorris sus
spottydogrockie get out of my hard launch
landonorris no
arthur_leclerc i approve
spottydogrockie you're hilarious
username21 not y/n outing max as a dog person
roscoelovescoco converted him 🤝🤝
spottydogrockie dogs are so much better than cats 😈😈
maxverstappen1 no comment
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jellieland · 5 months
Text
"You know," says Jimmy smugly, "I think second is the best spot to die in, actually."
"Really," says Mumbo, exasperated.
"Yes, I don't know what you're so happy about," says Lizzie. "You barely lasted ten minutes more than me."
"Doesn't matter. Not out first, baby!" He crows, triumphant, to the neverending void.
"And you killed me last session!"
"...Yes, I, uh, I'm sorry about that one. Sort of. Mostly," he says, momentarily cowed.
"I can't believe you people," says Lizzie. "They didn't have a funeral for me. I died first, and you got one, and they didn't even have a funeral for me!" She sounds indignant, but a look of genuine hurt crosses her face for a moment.
"I'm going to be honest, Lizzie," says Mumbo awkwardly. "I think they had bigger things to worry about. I- I think Joel was quite sad about it, though. If that helps?"
"I suppose it's better than nothing." She crosses her arms.
"But- wait, hang on. Jimmy?" says Mumbo abruptly. "Did you say you wanted to go out second?"
"No!" Jimmy protests. "I just think if you have to go out, then second is sort of ideal, really, if you think about it!"
"No!" says Mumbo, indignant. "No, surely third is better, actually! And to extend that logic, fourth would be better as well, and fifth, and- well, you get the idea. Anyway, my point is that I did better than both of you!"
"Hey, don't bring me into this!" says Lizzie.
"Anyway, you're wrong," says Jimmy, back to being smug again.
There is a short silence.
"You, uh. You gonna elaborate on that one, buddy?" asks Mumbo.
"Well," says Jimmy. "Obviously going out first is terrible. Would not recommend. I don't know why anyone would do it, honestly, I know I would never-"
"You're going on my list," says Lizzie, cheerfully.
"Wait wait wait, no, I didn't mean it, I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I really am!"
"Hmm." Lizzie narrows her eyes. "Acceptable. For now."
A few moments pass.
"You may continue," she says.
"Right," says Jimmy. "What was I saying?"
"You were being wrong about how the ranking in this game works," offers Mumbo.
"No I wasn't!" says Jimmy. "Just, let me explain. Now, you obviously don't want to go out first, sorry Lizzie, but it's true."
"I will concede that point," says Lizzie. "It wasn't great."
"But—have you seen how they get?"
"How they... get?" Mumbo frowns. "What do you mean?"
"The people who don't die."
"I- now, I don't know if you remember this," says Mumbo, "But third is a new record for me, so I really don't know how you expect me to know that."
"Anyway," interjects Lizzie, "Mumbo and I have only done this once before. I mean, I guess people started losing it a bit once you two died, but it wasn't that much different to how it already had been. Although I wasn't around for that long at that point."
"Yes, but, it-" Jimmy frowns. "I haven't seen much of it either. But there's something- I don't know how to explain what I mean. Maybe you haven't noticed, but there's stuff with Grian, Scott, Pearl."
He stops, sighs. Looks at the ground.
"Martyn's going to be alone, now," he says.
"Well," says Lizzie, a little acerbic. "You don't have to have people die for that to happen, you know."
Jimmy gives her a look that is a combination of sheepishness and genuine regret. "Ah. Yeah. I guess not."
"So you're right," says Lizzie. "I don't know what you mean."
"...I did feel bad," says Jimmy, quietly.
"You... did?" asks Lizzie. "What about?"
Jimmy looks at her, then off to the side. "...When I killed you."
"Oh."
"I really didn't mean to," he says. "I felt bad. It wasn't satisfying. It was just... a person I cared about. Dead. Because of me. Because I acted without thinking, because I wasn't paying attention."
"...Oh." says Lizzie, softly.
"And that was when I knew you would come back," says Jimmy.
Lizzie and Mumbo exchange glances, unsure.
"I'm good with second," says Jimmy. "I think it's the closest you can get to winning, actually."
They stand there, silent, for some time.
"Well," says Mumbo eventually. "I still feel like third is a bit better, though."
"Mumbo!" cries Jimmy.
"Mumbo, come on, we were just having a moment!" says Lizzie.
"Yes well, look, I really need this, guys," says Mumbo, shifting his weight from side to side. "I don't know if you know this, but I've had a really bad day. It was just terrible!"
"I think we've all had pretty bad days, Mumbo!" says Lizzie, raising an eyebrow. "I don't know if you've noticed, but we all died!"
"Yes, I- I had picked up on that, actually."
"I don't know," says Jimmy. "My day was great!"
They keep talking, and bickering, and the emptiness stretches off into the distance.
It's nice, not to have to be there alone.
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nouvellevqgue · 6 months
Text
MISS CRAZY CAT LADY. . . ✷ ﹙ MAX VERSTAPPEN ﹚
SUMMARY: when he dates her, everybody just know that his girlfriend is a crazy cat lady.
₊˚⊹౨ৎ ⋆。✦
yourusername
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liked by jessicachastain, florencepugh, ellefanning and 529,610 more
yourusername it's been 1095 mornings ever since marc joins me in bed. and so much more to come<3 🎂🐈
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username HE'S SO BIG ALREADY!!
username happy birthday to my favorite kitty!
maxverstappen1 jimmy and sassy says their happy birthday to marc
username who's been in y/n's bed the longer, max or marc? 🤔
⤷ yourusername ask maxverstappen1
⤷ maxverstappen1 we're in a competition, actually
⤷ username ‘we're in a competition’ I'M DEAD💀💀
username imagine how jimmy and sassy would react to this picture
⤷ username they'll rebel
username i need more cat content
albon_pets happy birthday marc! 🐾🫶🏻
username i wish i was the pillow
username i am marc actually
⤷ username omg shapeshifter is real😨
username he is so chonky i wanna bite him
username it must be so comfortable to be sleeping on his stomach
⤷ yourusername it doessss
username i just love her and i need a cat insta for their cats (also to make her sounds like lewis in roscoe's ig)
⤷ yourusername 👀👀
⤷ username y/n be honest what are you planning
yourusername added to their story!
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caption: just watched spiderman last night with jimmy and sassy (also max) but he's gone the whole movie, so i decided to surprise him😉
ˑ⭒ʚ ִtwitter ݁.٭
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ˑ⭒ʚ ִinstagram ݁.٭
yourusername
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liked by maxverstappen1, redbullracing, maudeapatow and 641,332 more
yourusername i'm fine, and he just get his the bath on his life (arguably). but i promise we're good 😄👍
view comments...
username jimmy be honest what are you saying to her until she make this
⤷ username i think you should say those things to max instead maxverstappen1
username ‘i promise we're good’ BAHSHAHAH Y/N WHAT'RE YOU DOINNN
⤷ yourusername saving my life
⤷ username i mean literally
username i think this is her apologize post guys...
username but he looks so relaxed there
⤷ username careful homie, that cat has two personalities. could be more.
maudeapatow glad you survived, i should make you a welcome cake for this.
⤷ yourusername oh yes pleeeasee😩🥺
username does max bribe you or something🤔🤔 seems quite odd
⤷ username ALL OF THIS WAS ODD💀💀💀
carlossainz55 i have survived him once. i think that was the most intense things that i've ever had.
⤷ maxverstappen1 really? not even your racing incident?
⤷ carlossainz55 (+ with animal)
⤷ carlossainz55 maxverstappen1 don't bring that one.
username gosh how i love this comments section
username she's a crazy cat lady like my god get a grip
username mate, if you wanna do hatin, do it somewhere else
username hmmmm meetup with albon_pets when?
⤷ yourusername somedayyy
username right now i'm still curious about her reply on that comment on a pet insta topic
⤷ username they have to be as silly and must develop another personality like lewis does for roscoe's ig account.
maxverstappen1 added to their story!
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maxverstappen1
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liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername, pierregasly, and 969,573 more
maxverstappen1 it's been 8766 days since my crazy cat lady is being born!! happy birthday, lovely. more and more hours to be with you🫶🏻🫶🏻🎂🥳
view comments...
username she looks high already😂😂
username AW THEEE CAKKEEEEE
yourusername I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU SOOOOOOO MUUCHHHHH TO THE MOON AND BACK
liked by maxverstappen1
username the way he copies her birthday wishes for marc I'M CACKLING AJAJAKAJJAJA
⤷ yourusername he's a copycat🐱
⤷ maxverstappen1 i'm not by the way
username I WANNA BE HERRRR
charles_leclerc happy birthday to max's cat lady. i hope your cat doesn't attack me again
⤷ yourusername it was an accident, you smell like a fish sauce
⤷ charles_leclerc I'M NOT! don't listen to her guys
landonorris wishing you all the best, y/n!🥳🥳
maudeapatow happy birthday for you miss crazy cat lady from meeee<3😂😁
lisakudrow happy birthday to you darling girl! wishing you and all the smelly cats out there all the best❤️❤️
⤷ yourusername YOU TOOO MAMA!!!
⤷ username LISA KUDROW??? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE???!?!?!!!
username wait y/n's cat have attacked charles before?
⤷ maxverstappen1 nobody knows
lewishamilton happy birthday y/n!
marvelstudios happy birthday to our arachne! 🕷️
yourusername added to their story!
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suzukiblu · 8 months
Text
Excerpt from the one where Kon meets pink kryptonite and decides to fuck Tim and his boyfriend about it.
(The read-more is definitely necessary, length-wise. I . . . got very into this idea and frankly this is barely a third of it so far, lol.)
"So, uh . . ." Kon says, skeptically eyeing the softly glowing rock in his hand. Metallo, like, threw it at his head. He has no idea why. "Is this supposed to do something or . . . ?"
"It's pink," Kara says leerily, staying very firmly back. Like, unexpectedly far back, in fact.
"Yeah, I'm not actually blind, thanks," Kon says, turning the rock over and squinting at it. It continues not to do anything, aside from the glowing thing.
"No, it's pink kryptonite," she stresses.
". . . it literally doesn't hurt at all, though?" Kon says. Though he probably should've figured it was some kind of kryptonite, given that Metallo had it and had apparently thought he could hurt him with it.
Seriously, though, his gloves are fingerless and he's got it right in his hand. It should be hurting him, if it's actually kryptonite.
"Pink kryptonite doesn't work like that," Kara says, edging a little farther back. They're floating a few hundred feet in the air right now, but from the way she's acting Kon's vaguely concerned that he might be about to explode or something. "It just affects our sexual . . . urges."
"Oh," Kon says, frowning in confusion. Weird, but . . . "Is that all?"
"I don't mean like it makes you horny, Kon, I mean like it makes you homosexual," Kara hisses, looking mortified. "And don't ask how I know, alright?!"
Kon . . . blinks.
"What the literal fuck?" he asks incredulously, just staring at her. "How does that even–are you telling me Metallo went and chucked gay kryptonite at me in the middle of a fight?"
"Yes!" Kara says, still clearly mortified. "So just–just stay over there with it until somebody shows up with a lead box, okay?! The effects will stop after we get it contained."
"Alright, alright. So then do you think the dude was flirting with me or is he just a fucking idiot?" Kon jokes, balancing the kryptonite on his index finger with his TTK. "Although I really don't think he'd be my type either way. Like, nothing against cyborgs in general, obviously, just the whole thing with him being a murderous supervillain who literally runs on kryptonite seems like it'd make us totally star-crossed. I want somebody I can actually commit to, you know?"
"Sure," Kara says, still eyeing the kryptonite with serious trepidation. It's really not helping Kon feel less like a time bomb, to be honest. Is there like some other side effect that he should be worrying about right now or something? Like, is he missing something here?
"You seem kinda high-strung about this," he observes, raising an eyebrow at her.
"Look, you'd have avoided it too if you'd dealt with it before!" she says protestingly. "So stay over there and definitely keep it away from Kal, I don't know if Jimmy ever really recovered from the last time."
"Oh, well, congrats to Jimmy, I guess," Kon says, since he can't really see a downside to scoring a one-night stand with Superman. Like, a downside for somebody who isn't literally his clone, he means. The clone thing would definitely make it weird.
Just it's also Clark, though, so he'd probably be the generous type in bed. Like, the sort to really take care of somebody. Be as gentle as happened to be appropriate but also be down if his partner maybe wanted it a little rough for whatever reason. And he'd definitely be able to go all night. Again, Kon isn't gonna go there himself, it really would be too weird, but he can make a logical conclusion. Extrapolate one. Whatever.
Then again he'd be down with Power Girl absolutely destroying him whenever the fuck she wanted to and she's genetically his . . . some form of cousin or something, he guesses. His half-cousin from another reality. So really, Clark's not even that weird an option. And like, all appearances aside Kon's a binary clone anyway, not even a one-for-one match, sooooo . . .
Actually it's probably weirder that he thinks Power Girl is so unspeakably hot but comparatively Kara is just . . . fine? Like, that's a little odd, isn't it?
Maybe it's an attitude thing. Or the costume.
Might be safe to blame the costume, yeah.
It's just such a good costume. Like, Kon aspires to reach that level of costume.
But really, all that aside he still doesn't even know what the big deal about temporarily going gay is, although to be fair he's also currently talking to Supergirl and not, like . . . literally any dude whatsoever. So like, who knows how weird this stuff might actually make him under those circumstances. Maybe it like fucks with inhibitions and stuff too?
Yeah, hell if he knows. He's really only dealt with green kryptonite before. He was vaguely aware that other colors existed and apparently did different stuff, but . . . this just seems very different, put it that way.
Maybe best to avoid Jimmy Olsen for a little while, Kon decides privately. The guy probably doesn't need that.
Besides, Clark apparently got there first anyway and Kon just really doesn't want to be worrying about measuring up. Miss him with that, thanks.
. . . although maybe he'll go visit Tim later.
Eh, no, Kara made it sound like the pink K's gonna stop affecting him pretty quick once they box it up, so not much point in bothering. Though maybe he'll visit just to hang, come to think of it; they haven't seen each other in almost a whole week. Well, he hasn't seen Tim, at least–who knows how much Bat-surveillance Tim's seen him through.
Kon should maybe sweep his room for bugs again. Note to self.
Although would it be weird to just like . . . keep the pink kryptonite, maybe? Since it apparently doesn't actually hurt anyone or anything? Because that could be, well . . . just interesting, that's all. Like, Kon is open to exploring that experience. Just–as an experience.
"Actually, you're surprisingly not high-strung about this," Kara says.
"Am I?" Kon asks. "I mean, it's not that big a deal, is it?"
She stares at him.
"Kon," she says slowly. "Pink kryptonite affects your sexuality. It makes you attracted to people you're not normally attracted to. It confuses you and everyone around you and it is really freaking embarrassing to explain afterwards."
"I've been mind-controlled into shaving my head and breaking my best friend's arm," Kon says, continuing to not really see what the big deal is. "That was embarrassing. And fucking traumatic. This? This is just kinda weird."
"Only kinda?" Kara asks incredulously. "You're one of the straightest guys I know! How are you just fine with this?!"
"I mean to be fair, that's probably making some unfair generalizations about straight guys," Kon points out. Kara stares at him. "What?"
"I don't even know how to respond to that," she says.
"Sorry?" Kon says, then tucks the pink kryptonite into his jacket pocket with a shrug. He's not trying to hide it or anything; just getting kinda sick of holding it. And it's that or he either ditches it somewhere or starts tossing it around and that'd probably be . . . just, well, absolutely epically stupid of him.
Or it seems like it would be, anyway. Whatever color it is, it's still kryptonite.
"I mentioned keeping that away from Kal, right?" Kara says.
"Yeah, on that note, are they like . . . done down there yet?" Kon asks, glancing down towards the mess of the street that Clark's standing on a few hundred feet below with a whole bunch of randos from S.T.A.R. Labs, for some reason. Somebody mentioned something about neutralizing Metallo's kryptonite heart without actually killing him, but mostly it was science talk and clearly theoretical anyway so to be honest Kon'd kinda tuned it all out as "not currently relevant", and that's all he knows.
"Definitely not," Kara says.
"I'm gonna call Robin while we're killing time, then," Kon says, pulling out his phone.
"You're going to call your closest male friend," Kara says. "Right now. While you've got pink kryptonite in your pocket."
"Yup," Kon says, already pulling up Tim's contact.
"Can you not see how that might be a bad idea at the moment?" Kara asks. "Not in any way whatsoever?"
"Well I'm not calling Impulse," Kon replies reasonably. Kara stares at him again, for some reason.
Eh, whatever.
He calls Tim.
"Hey, Conner, what's up?" Tim answers distractedly, which Kon doesn't hold against him because when isn't Tim distracted, really. Dude's got too much going on in that head of his, for real. He's just glad the guy ever picks up the phone at all.
"So apparently I'm gay right now," Kon greets conversationally, figuring he should lead with that just in case he actually is about to do something embarrassing to explain. "Pink kryptonite is fucking weird, man."
". . . uh," Tim says as Kara covers her face with her hands. "What?"
"Pink kryptonite makes you gay, Kara says," Kon says. "And we're both just kind of chilling above downtown Metropolis waiting for Kal to finish up with the science-y people so we can get said pink K locked up, so I'm bored out of my mind right now and calling you to complain about it."
"You're calling me," Tim says slowly. "While you're . . . gay."
"What, is he asking to come over?" another voice asks from the phone, sounding amused. It takes Kon a second to recognize it, but–oh yeah, that's the mysterious Bernard, isn't it?
Right, Tim has a boyfriend now. Kon's never actually met him on account of being the worst at secret identities and the whole thing that is Bernard living very firmly in Gotham, land of "no metas allowed unless you're either a supervillain or Batman's too dead to stop you", but he's heard him over the phone a couple times now, although they've never actually personally talked. So maybe thinking about Tim while being high on pink kryptonite isn't actually, like, kosher? Or polite. Or whatever.
. . . then again, Bernard did ask.
"I don't know, maybe?" Kon says thoughtfully, considering the idea. "Are you open to me coming over?"
"Yes," Bernard says.
"Bernard," Tim says.
"Babe, I know we're pretending I don't know you're an ass-kicking vigilante and all but come on, don't make me turn down Superboy," Bernard says wryly.
"We're–wait, pretending?!" Tim sputters.
"Pretending so, so hard," Bernard confirms, sounding nothing but fond. Kon's actually a little jealous of that tone of voice, he's gotta admit. Like–it's been a bit since anybody's talked to him that way, is all. "But like, if you actually thought you were being subtle maybe you shouldn't talk about kryptonite on the phone right in front of me or put themed emojis next to all your superfriends' civilian names in your contacts list?"
"Oh my god, you do that?!" Kon asks with a gleeful cackle, immediately forgetting everything else in favor of that absolutely delightful piece of information. "You're the worst! Batman just rolled over in his grave and Oracle is absolutely losing her shit on the other end of her wiretap!"
"B's not even dead right now," Tim says in exasperation. "And if O cared she'd have already hacked my phone and changed them. And for the record plenty of people put random superhero emojis next to their friends' names, that's a totally normal thing to do!"
"Usually the random superhero emojis aren't associated with contact pics that are dead fucking ringers for said superheroes," Bernard says, sounding amused again. "Just as a thing and all."
". . . anyway so you're gay today, how's that going for you, Conner?" Tim says as Bernard laughs gleefully in the background. "Triggering any unfortunate mental health crisises or anything? Making you worry about the validity of your masculinity? Because I can safely assure you that's all bullshit and you're fine."
"Naw, I know all that, being gay is just a thing," Kon says with a shrug. "Kara's being a little weird about it but honestly it's going way better than, like, the times supervillains mind-controlled me into being into them. Like just as an overall experience, I mean."
"Wait, how many times has that come up?" Tim asks in bemusement.
"I dunno?" Kon shrugs again. "I mean you were there for the Poison Ivy incident, and then Gorgeous Gilly happened to me a while later, which was, uh, genuinely horrifying because she tried to literally marry me during all that, so . . . I think just the twice, probably? But don't quote me on that, I don't even remember what I had for breakfast."
"And how is Kara being weird, exactly?" Tim says in his very unsubtle "assessing my teammate's psychological condition" voice.
"Oh, she's mostly just avoiding me?" Kon says, as a guy who's personally not really all that concerned with his psychological condition at the moment. "Because I've got the rock in my pocket on account of not wanting to just leave it lying around somewhere and she doesn't want to get affected by it. I don't know why, I don't really get why it matters."
"I mean it matters, definitely," Bernard says. "Like it very strongly matters to a lot of people."
"Fair, but I think we're all too invulnerable to really have to worry about getting gay-bashed or anything," Kon reasons. "Like, at least not as a heat of the moment thing."
". . . god can you imagine the world we would live in if every piece of shit gay-basher had to deal with the consequences of punching fucking Superman?" Bernard says feelingly. "For real."
"Oh, pink K's temporary," Kon clarifies. "Kal's not gay anymore."
"Hold up, I'm sorry, are you saying that at some point he was?" Bernard demands in obvious delight. "Is that what you're telling me right now?"
"I guess he was into redheads?" Kon says, tilting his head. "Slightly twinky redheads, specifically. Which I don't blame him for, I'm gonna be honest."
"Well now I know that forever, thanks," Tim says dryly.
"Alternate option: he could've been into Batman," Kon points out.
"Redheads it is," Tim says. "You just . . . redhead away over there."
"I mean I thought about it, kinda," Kon admits.
"Ngh," Tim says, for some reason.
"No thinking about Batman, though?" Bernard asks with a snicker.
"Not so much," Kon says, making a face. "Did consider having some Superman thoughts but I'm apparently not that narcissistic, surprisingly enough."
"Kon!" Kara chokes.
"Tell me you've never considered having Superman thoughts and I'll tell you you're a fucking liar," Kon snorts, shooting her a dry look. "Weren't you like totally naked when you first showed up on Earth? And then he found you like that and wrapped you up in his cape all nice and gentlemanly and took you home with him?"
"He is my baby cousin and you're being affected by pink kryptonite poisoning!" Kara accuses, her face bright red.
"Wait, is it actually poisoning me?" Kon says with a frown. "I feel like you should've led with it actually poisoning me, if that's actually a thing."
"Well no, not actually, it's physically harmless," Kara says grudgingly, folding her arms. "But you're still being affected! You're having Superman thoughts, of all things!"
"He just seems like he'd be considerate," Kon says reasonably. "Like, you know. Biblically."
"Ngh," Tim says, again for no apparent reason. Bernard sounds like he might be laughing. Or choking? Or maybe both; it's unclear.
"Please don't hit on Kal," Kara says. "Especially don't hit on Kal with pink kryptonite in your pocket. I don't want to know how that situation would end up."
"Ideally with him being considerate," Kon says. Tim chokes. Kara covers her face again.
"Does pink kryptonite affect your inhibitions too or are you just always like this?" Bernard asks curiously.
"Eh, pretty sure I'm just always like this, going by the things I've definitely still not been forgiven for saying to Power Girl," Kon says, idly tapping a finger against the side of his phone case. "Like, pretty damn sure at this point."
"That is unfortunately accurate," Tim agrees resignedly.
"So you're saying it is ethically okay to have Superboy over while he's gay," Bernard says in a promisingly speculative tone. Kon grins. Just a little, but yeah–definitely he grins. Kara grimaces, because she is absolutely no fun whatsoever.
Spoilsport.
"I did not in any way say that," Tim retorts dubiously.
"I mean that's what I heard, man, and I'm the one with super-hearing in this conversation," Kon says with a wider grin. "My inhibitions are all inhibited and my personal opinions of people are all the same, I'm just currently batting for the other team."
"So your normal opinion of me is that if you were gay, you'd come over," Tim says dryly.
"Yeah?" Kon says, raising an eyebrow. "I mean, obviously."
"How is that obvious?" Tim says.
"Because I already come over every time you let me," Kon reminds him.
"Oh yeah?" Bernard says slyly. "And how often does he let you come, exactly?"
"Not often enough," Kon replies honestly, and doesn't even bite at the obvious dumb sex joke Bernard so thoughtfully set up for him even though it is frankly painful not to.
"Ngh," Tim says. Kon continues not to understand the reason for him repeatedly making that same weird little noise, but whatever, he guesses. It's Tim, maybe he's stitching his own bullet wounds again or something. Guy's a multi-tasker like that.
"You know this would probably make for a fascinating case study about sexuality, actually," Bernard says musingly. "I mean, all I intend to do is abuse the situation to get into your very tight tights, but seriously, maybe we should all be taking notes or something."
"Ugh, hell no, Rob'll go full Bat if we let him do that," Kon snorts, then smirks. "He can take pictures, though, I know he's into that."
"Ngh," Tim says yet again, accompanied by a weird random "thump". If Kon didn't know better, he'd think he'd just fallen off a chair or something.
"Aw dammit, dude, I think I actually like you as a person now," Bernard says, sniggering. "Are you keeping the kryptonite? Please keep the kryptonite. Like, just for Valentine's and Tim's birthday, that's all I ask."
"Honestly don't know if Superman's gonna let me but I do kinda wanna," Kon admits. It seems pretty convenient, really. And definitely fun.
". . . and you're sure his inhibitions and opinions aren't being influenced in any way, Kara?" Tim asks suspiciously.
"He's really just like this, yeah," Kara says resignedly. "Well admittedly Kal spontaneously developed opinions on window treatments and used the word 'smashing' in cold blood when it happened to him, but that might've just been him sucking at flirting. Because he really does suck at flirting."
"What about when it was you?" Kon asks curiously.
"No one ever said it happened to me," Kara says.
"You kinda implied–"
"No one ever said it happened to me," Kara repeats, narrowing her eyes at him and doing an impressively bad job of acting like she's not blushing.
So it definitely happened to her, yeah.
"Okaaaaay, we'll pretend about that too then," Bernard says. "Well, what are your opinions on window treatments, Conner?"
"That I don't know what they are," Kon says.
"Sounds like he's in his right mind to me," Bernard says.
"He is absolutely not," Kara retorts dubiously.
"I really don't feel weird or anything, I swear," Kon tells her, since he still doesn't get the problem but also doesn't actually want to worry her either. "I don't even feel any different."
"Kon, you are hitting on your best friend and his boyfriend," Kara says. "Together. At once. Simultaneously, one might even say."
"You've met Wonder Girl and Arrowette before, right?" Kon says. "And both the Batgirls? And–"
"Oh my god, Kon," she cuts him off.
"Just saying," he says, then pauses for a moment and frowns consideringly. "Actually, question, how gay is this stuff making me, because while we're on the topic of threeways I kinda always wondered about what Starfire and Nightwing get up to together and if–"
"KON!" Kara yells, covering her ears.
"I'm just asking," he huffs.
"I don't know if it's actually possible to be gay enough to not be into Starfire," Bernard says musingly. "Like I can't imagine how it ever could be."
"Right?" Kon says.
"It's possible to not be into Starfire," Tim says. "Like, theoretically. Asexuals and aromantics both exist, for one."
"Do they?" Kon says doubtfully. "Like in general, sure, but when around specifically Starfire?"
". . . I can't technically prove you wrong due to a lack of reliable evidence but still," Tim says. "The possibility is there. If nothing else the multiverse is a thing."
"Last time I saw her she was wearing half a gold lamé bikini and I am not going to tell you which half or define how loosely I am using the term 'wearing'," Kon says.
"I said it's possible, not probable," Tim says.
"What about you, man, are you the gold lamé type?" Bernard asks with a teasing snicker. "Just while you're gay and all, of course. That's like, practically a cultural thing. Gotta be authentic to the experience, yeah?"
"That is in no way whatsoever a cultural thing, babe," Tim says dubiously.
"Please, like I've never worn freaking lamé," Kon scoffs. "I've worn collars and loincloths and leather and crop tops and enough unnecessary belts to tie up a Bat, lamé is nothing."
"Collars and . . . loincloths?" Bernard repeats, sounding confused.
"Yeah, this one time I crash-landed on a lost isle of beast-men and they kidnapped and enslaved me for a few months," Kon explains, waving a hand distractedly. "Frankly I count myself lucky they even let me have the collar, much less the loincloth."
". . . um," Bernard says.
"You, uh, never mentioned the collar part of that story before, Kon," Tim says, clearing his throat. "You very definitely never mentioned the collar part of that story before."
"Oh yeah, the prince kinda kept me as his pet for a little bit?" Kon tells him with an easy shrug. "Like he and all his buddies ganged up on me and then took me home with them, but I was kinda . . . feral, I guess? Technically? So like, collar and chain setup. But he was cool, he took real good care of me."
"Ngh," Tim says just barely faintly.
"Yeah you should definitely come over," Bernard says. "Tim, get the check. Conner, exactly how super is your super-speed?"
"You can just call me Kon," Kon says. "And . . . mach 3, last I clocked it?"
"Isn't that like two thousand miles per hour?" Bernard asks.
"Two thousand two hundred and twenty-three point three," Kon replies with a pleased smirk. "Faster than a speeding bullet. Or so they tell me."
"We'll just meet you at Tim's, how's that," Bernard says. "That work for you, Kon?"
"That works for me, Bernard," Kon confirms, smirking wider.
"Oh my god, Kon, you cannot possibly be serious right now," Kara says in exasperation, rubbing at her temples. "Just because you're temporarily gay doesn't mean you should do anything about it!"
"I mean, I'm feeling pretty serious?" Kon says, shrugging again. He still doesn't get why she's being so sensitive about this. "It's not like this is the weirdest thing I've ever done in pursuit of a good time. Like, holy hell, lemme tell you about the Ravers sometime."
"You're going to have to look Robin in the eye after this!" Kara says. "And work with him! And be a normal person in his presence! Normally!"
"I'm aware?" Kon says, vaguely bemused by her concern. Like he's never been normal around somebody he's slept with before, geez. "Tell Kal I ran off with the pink K, if he wants to lock it up in the Fortress or wherever I can bring it back tomorrow."
"Maybe Monday," Bernard says.
"Or maybe Monday," Kon amends.
"It's Thursday!" Kara sputters.
"So it's a long weekend," Bernard says.
"I'm not explaining this to Kal," Kara says. "I'm not explaining this to Batman."
"I really don't see why you'd have to," Kon says. "Rob, you cool with the long weekend thing? Not too much of an imposition?"
". . . I got the check," Tim mutters in obvious and absolute mortification.
Kon's gonna take that as a "yes".
"Cool," he says, grinning broadly. "See you soon, Boy Wonder."
He ends the call. Kara drags her hands down her face and continues to stay very far away from him and the pink kryptonite in his pocket.
"When you go back to normal and freak out and make everything weird with Robin and your team and even Robin's literal boyfriend, I'm going to say so many 'I told you so's," she swears vehemently. "So don't say I didn't warn you."
"Your objection is on the record," Kon says, then tosses her a lazy salute with another grin and takes off, kryptonite and all.
Best to just scarper while Clark's distracted, yeah?
Definitely best.
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astonmartinii · 7 months
Text
we don’t play about halloween | max verstappen social media au
pairing: max verstappen x fem reader
max doesn’t play about three things: formula one, his cats and his girlfriend’s love for halloween
MASTERLIST | TIPS
yourusername
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liked by oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1 and 607,344 others
tagged: maxverstappen1
yourusername: yes we dress up to carve pumpkins, it’s rude if you don’t.
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user1: gosh they are so cute
user2: did max just dress as himself whenever he’s within 5ft of y/n?
maxverstappen1: i get why the americans don’t play about the statue of liberty
yourusername: i think they should build one of you in zandvoort
maxverstappen1: and they still wouldn’t worship it as much as i worship you
yourusername: i literally light candles in your name and pray for you with you mum, i think i worship you more sorry
maxverstappen1: the ONLY loss i’ll take
user3: i feel lonely year round because of them but it’s SO much worse during halloween
user4: they are the definition of the couple costume they invented it and they PERFECTED it
landonorris: i thought your apartment was a safe space, why did i get harassed over my costume?
yourusername: it was more of the lack of costume? “streamer” does not count
landonorris: who actually dresses up to carve pumpkins?
maxverstappen1: COOL PEOPLE
yourusername: imagine not dressing up and having an awful pumpkin … could never be me
landonorris: STOP BULLYING ME
maxverstappen1: do better then.
user5: obsessed with how peace and love y/n is for the whole year but as soon as someone doesn’t care about halloween it’s fight time
charles_leclerc: remind me to never accept an invite to a halloween event at the verstappen-l/n household - far TOO much stress
yourusername: but you’re like the only one who deserves an invite to next year because the air max costume slayed
maxverstappen1: i might even let you back on it
charles_leclerc: might???
maxverstappen1: follow me on instagram
yourusername: 2019 was so long ago we really need to move on
danielricciardo: you seriously underestimate just how petty these men are
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maxverstappen1
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liked by danielricciardo, yourusername and 894,560 others
tagged: yourusername
maxverstappen1: halloween is a full family affair
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user8: JIMMY AND SASSY I CAN'T
user9: yall looking at the croissant and the lobster i'm focusing on AMY AND NICK?
user10: has max even seen this film?
maxverstappen1: nope i just like doing the costumes y/n wants to do
user11: i wish i had enough friends to have like ten billion halloween parties
oscarpiastri: i didn't know what to expect but i did not think i was going to see alex trying to drown george at the apple bobbing station
yourusername: i let them work out their own mess as long as they don't accidentally flood our living room again
oscarpiastri: AGAIN?
maxverstappen1: f1 drivers are just competitive about apple bobbing as they are about driving
alexalbon: in my defence there is a sick trophy for the champ i simply cannot let anyone else win it
user12: they got a trophy made? and girlies are serious about this?
yourusername: custom trophies for apple bobbing, pumpkin carving and best costume
alexalbon: three time apple bobbing champ right here
charles_leclerc: i'm coming for best costume this year
danielricciardo: pumpkin carving was an easy dub last year
maxverstappen1: but no one has out done us for costumes thus far
yourusername: and that's not bias, there is a democratic voting process x
user13: i need to be in this friendship group right now
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yourusername
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liked by georgerussell63, maxverstappen1 and 723,409 others
tagged: maxverstappen1
yourusername: it's the most wonderful time of the year ! thanks to everyone who came out and making the spooky season special. p.s. shout out to max who found this wig while going through our costume box and insisted on not taking it off the whole set up.
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user16: NOOOOO WHY IS HALLOWEEN OVER ALREADY
user17: rip to all of us who were hoping for a sexy y/n x max costume
user18: they heard we wanted sexy and gave us ratatouille i hate their asses
oscarpiastri: okay so lando wasn't lying when he said you guys go insane for halloween
yourusername: i fear not. i hope you enjoyed your dip in the pool, we found you in a guest room in my bath robe at 3am
oscarpiastri: oops.
maxverstappen1: you fared better than others on their rookie halloween appearance, just ask lando and charles
landonorris: you told me there was no alcohol in the jelly so it's not my fault i ate the whole bowl and threw up in your shower
yourusername: wow way to blame the victims there lando, you literally blocked the drain
landonorris: MAX SAID THERE WAS NO ALCOHOL
yourusername: it was labelled with the ingredients. you just can't read
landonorris: no comment
yourusername: and charles got so drunk that he decided he would sleep on the couch but got 'lonely' and insisted on cuddling with us
charles_leclerc: Y/N!!!! YOU SAID YOU'D KEEP THAT A SECRET
maxverstappen1: don't worry we thought it was cute
carlossainz55: wait is that why you came as a "cuddle bug" this year?
charles_leclerc: NO
alexalbon: and that must be why he got best costume RIGGORY
yourusername: no riggory here, you and lily as mavis and jonathon were a close second
user19: i won't rest until i have an invite next year.
maxverstappen1
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liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername and 821,309 others
tagged: yourusername
maxverstappen1: sorting the recycling with your head barely attached is always the worst part of halloween
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user20: drunk max looks like so much fun
yourusername: i think i might drink my weight in coffee today but i need to see the kitchen floor soon before i lose my mind
user21: ma'am i know you're clinging to life rn but can we know who won what?
alexalbon: ALEX ALBON APPLE BOBBING CHAMP FOUR YEARS IN A ROW
charles_leclerc: i won best costume and it's purely because i'm cute cause NO one there knew about my cuddling escapades last year
landonorris: ugh pretty privilege back at it again
charles_leclerc: jealousy is a disease get well soon
oscarpiastri: my pumpkin ended up winning !! turns out people love a kangaroo in the ghostface mask
maxverstappen1: first rookie to win that title (i am so impressed by the kangaroo)
yourusername: you were actually so good you have to help me with all the decorative ones next year
oscarpiastri: i'm in
user21: but who won the real award - most embarrassing moment?
maxverstappen1: daniel got stuck in the door in his inflatable horse/cowboy costume
danielricciardo: NO esteban dressing as the cheese string man was worse
estebanocon: that's real creativity at least i didn't fall asleep in the bath like carlos
yourusername: not to gang up on carlos but the blanket you took in their is damaged beyond repair and i request a replacement
carlossainz55: fair, but it was me, lando and george in the tub
georgerussell63: fake news @carmenmundt
carmenmundt: i was also at the party babe, it was impressive how you all fit in there
user22: the fact they do all of this and race like two weeks later and the teams just deal with it
maxverstappen1: we've done much worse on race weekends
yourusername: someone didn't have to try and get home after abu dhabi 2021, halloween is nothing compared to that
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note: a lil halloween one for you all. i also DO NOT PLAY ABOUT HALLOWEEN. and am currently planning my costume lol. just wanted to get a small one out before all my work comes in tomorrow, much love xx
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theminecraftbee · 5 months
Text
you know it's INTERESTING to look back at the double life soulmate pairs and see how they're doing now, relationship-wise, because that experience shaped every soulmate pair differently, i think:
ren and bigb i'll put first on account of "we have no idea since ren hasn't been in the series since double life". when will our doggy come back from the war.......
grian and scar are... grian and scar, the soulbond alone is only part of everything going on there. i think being FORCED to team shaped them a bit into being a little/lot more stable in their relationship with each other in limited life and secret life, as well as maybe taught them a bit about each other's limits. i am... honestly not a desert duo guy there are people who can do the analysis of the soulmate bond's impact on them WAY better than me but. it's part of their overall arc, you know?
martyn and cleo are fun. they both are still clearly CLOSE but they are also both still clearly mistrustful and angry at each other! they have this whole "the only one who can kill you is me" dynamic going on between each other that's very fun. i think being soulmates... obviously they were one half of divorce quartet and the resentment of being forced together did some stuff to that relationship. but i think maybe it also sort of gave them something that they appreciate about each other as well? and they DO care, despite everything. (i could GO INTO THIS LET ME TELL YOU.) so like, they aren't close friends or anything, but they Know Each Other now. and that's a fun dynamic.
impulse and bdubs are funny because i think their bond both did and didn't shape them. the thing is, like desert duo, their soulbond is only one step in their journey, the one that ARGUABLY only settled out in limlife after impulse permakilled bdubs. (note that this is the first series where bdubs hasn't gotten a clock! he is FINALLY PAST that one relationship!) that said i think being each other's ridiculously happy married couple did something to impulse specifically, actually. i think it sort of confused and solidified the grudge and it also like, showed him the almost-happy-loyalty that he wanted in the world. i think these days impulse, at least, has a different idea of 'loyalty' and 'betrayal' thanks to that. and bdubs... i think it's relevant that despite bdubs intentionally CONSTANTLY THROWING UP BETRAYAL FLAGS, he never actually did it. and i don't think he ever actually would. but in terms of their relationship to EACH OTHER? the soulbond was, yeah, only one step in how that arc went.
scott and pearl are... interesting. it's funny; for one of the single most consequential soulbonds in double life, it like... mostly hasn't come up again in their relationship? part of this i think is that pearl's LONELINESS had more of an impact on her than anything scott specifically did, and scott choosing had more of an impact on him. so to each other they're mostly... normal? both a bit mistrustful but like... normal? it's in the ways they act with other people that this experience shaped them, i think; i could say something about scott's next major relationship being mean gills, and the way pearl is only now learning to be a part of a team that cares again. also, pearl's discovery of her bloodlust. that kind of happened in last life to be fair, but it's relevant,
jimmy and tango are surprisingly simple because they were one of the most stable and normal soulmate pairs, lol. they're each other's ranchers! they're still friendly to each other even when their teams are on opposite sides! i think having one relationship where he was the more self-assured one was nice for jimmy and tango having a guy who, rather like skizz, was never going to point out much when tango screwed up on account of Pot Meet Kettle was nice for him, and they both know it was nice. they both get more into the teasing now that they know each other better--a big part of the early ranchers dynamic is that they Did Not Know Each Other but now that they DO it's starting to settle into something shaped more like the kinds of relationships both tango and jimmy tend to have (and they are BOTH the kinds of people to have a lot of friendly mocking in their relationships i wouldn't be surprised if that gets Even More in the future)--but i think out of everyone they probably remember the soulmates thing the most fondly, given the degree to which they are still Buddies.
etho and joel are... good lord the boat boys. on the one hand: clearly they both still enjoy pointing out that the boat boys happened. joel gets... weirdly jealous of other people hanging out with etho? on the OTHER hand they seem determined to murder each other so so so bad. i like to think that their soulbond is a thing they look back on fondly from this but ALSO they both have such weird commitment hangups and bloodlust that maybe the fact they want to kill each other SO BADLY was inevitable. also interesting, though, is how much of this bloodlust comes from etho, given that normally you'd expect joel's relationships to go the other way. what i THINK is happening is that joel still feels a lot of loyalty towards the boat boys somewhere in his head (hence the jealousy and not typically being the one to lash out), whereas etho thinks of it as largely Done and Past, but thinks of it fondly--hence bringing it up every time he has to kill joel, and also the weird tendency to gravitate towards joel specifically. I DON'T KNOW MAN I WOULDN'T HAVE PREDICTED BEFORE LIMLIFE THAT BOAT BOYS WOULD BE THE SOULMATE PAIR THAT WERE WEIRDEST ABOUT EACH OTHER BUT HERE WE ARE,
anyway i just think it's funny to look back on the various soulbonds and realize which ones have had a big impact on sticking around and which ones haven't, you know?
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russellsppttemplates · 2 months
Note
Could you do a Max blurb where while reader is pregnant with Finn and is sleeping, Max starts talking to baby bump promising not to be like his father
Cw: alludes Max's childhood
As Max walked into the living room, he froze as a smile grew on his face at the sight of you and the cats on the sofa. You were curled up on the sofa, protectively wrapping your arms around your rounded belly.
Slowly walking closet to you, he knelt beside you carefully as cats recognised him, Jimmy only fussing for a bit before retiring back to his sleepy position since both Jimmy and Sassy had finally allowed Max to be closer to you without hissing and scratching the pillows near them.
Sighing, he watched you sleep. Being just over eight months pregnant, you got tired easily, but most of time you couldn't get comfortable when you actually wanted to sleep. Gently brushing the hair off of your face, his hand travelled down your arm to rest on your bump that was covered by a blanket.
"I can't wait until you join us, buddy", he whispered, "then we can cuddle and play with all the toys we've got you", he smiled, imaging a little boy sitting beside him as they tried to work out the way the building blocks needed to be placed.
"Mama is usually the one I come to whenever I feel like this, so maybe this sort of counts as well because it's about you, too", Max picked up again, "but on my way home today I saw who I presume was a father on his phone while his son played in the playground - he wasn't paying attention to the little boy no matter how much he would've liked to not play alone -, and it got me thinking. I never want to do that to you, not like what happened to me, I promise you. It brought up some ghosts from the past", he gulped.
Because you were friends when you were younger, you knew how Max's childhood and teenager years had been like, and when he grew up and learned to talk about all of it and manage his emotions about it, you were his safe haven. Whenever something triggered him, whenever doubts crept up, you would listen to him and work things out so they were easier to process. This time, your baby boy would be the listener of it.
"I don't care what you want to do in life as long as you're happy - and it isn't illegal, I guess", he chuckled, "I want you to know how loved you are everyday, I want you to grow up and be a good, kind and emphatic person. I want to play with you as much as I can and I want you to always know you can count on me and mama for anything, absolutely anything", he stressed, "I know you still have a couple of weeks in there, and you should stay there, but I can't wait to cuddle you, hug you and kiss you every chance I get. To take you to the park and play on the swings with you, to bake in the kitchen or to enjoy whatever activity you'll enjoy doing", he smiled, kissing your bump, "I promise you all of it".
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mrpldiddles · 4 months
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puppy. | j.drysdale
a/n: so i actually started this this morning before the trade was announced😀 but here’s a quick(ish) little ig edit since i haven’t posted anything in awhile while i work on the tbosas fic that will be coming soon!!
rip trevjamie tho man idk how i’m gonna recover this is like barzy and beau all over again
anaheimducks posted:
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anaheimducks: we have a four-legged announcement on #NationalPuppyDay! everyone say hi to Daisy!
comments:
user1: can we talk about jamie with daisy🥺
user2: trevor and jamie look like they need a dog
-> yourusername: don’t encourage them🤧
trevorzegras: @yourusername 🥺🥺🥺
-> jamie.drysdale: @yourusername please🥺🥺🥺
-> yourusername: are you gonna take care of it🥺🥺
-> trevorzegras: YEAH
-> yourusername: LIES you don’t even clean up after yourself
-> trevorzegras: HEY
-> jamie.drysdale: she has a point z…
-> trevorzegras: DON’T TAKE HER SIDE JIMMY
-> user3: this is so entertaining
jackhughes: @yourusername just let them have a puppy
-> trevorzegras: PUPPY! PUPPY! PUPPY!
-> yourusername: you live across the country jack you don’t get a say in this
-> jamie.drysdale: PUPPY! PUPPY! PUPPY!
-> colecaufield: but look how excited they are🥺
-> yourusername: cole you’re not even in the country
-> masonmctavish23: puppy???
-> yourusername: oh god not you too
-> trevorzegras: i promise to put it in direct sunlight and water it everyday🫡
-> yourusername: oh my god
-> jamie.drysdale: he’s joking! (i think…)
-> yourusername: you two are gonna be the death of me
-> trevorzegras: so PUPPY????
yourusername posted:
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yourusername: @trevorzegras @jamie.drysdale puppy.
comments:
trevorzegras: PUPPY!!!
jamie.drysdale: PUPPY!!!
masonmctavish23: PUPPY!!!
colecaufield: PUPPY!!!
jackhughes: PUPPY!!!
_quinnhughes: you’re weak
-> yourusername: i know😞
yourbffsusername: how much did they pay you
-> yourusername: a year’s worth of cleaning the bathroom for trevor and a year’s worth of back rubs from jamie🥰
-> trevorzegras: i still think the difference in payment is unfair
-> yourusername: you may be my boyfriend’s boyfriend but you’re not mine
-> trevorzegras: 😞
anaheimducks: a new friend for daisy!!
-> yourusername: that’s what sold me on little miss maisie☺️
-> trevorzegras: for the record i wanted to name her nutter butter
-> colecaufield: NUTTER BUTTER🥜🧈
-> _quinnhughes: are you trying to ruin the poor dog’s life
-> jackhughes: i call for a re-vote between maisie and nutter butter
-> jamie.drysdale: y/n says no
-> yourusername: i’m not naming my child nutter butter.
jamie.drysdale posted:
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jamie.drysdale: everybody say thank you @yourusername :)))))))
comments:
trevorzegras: thank you y/n!!!!!
colecaufield: thank you y/nnnnnn
jackhughes: thanks best friend y/n
-> yourusername: i think that title actually belongs to quinn
-> jackhughes: ouch
-> _quinnhughes: thank you best friend y/n
-> yourusername: you're welcome quinny
masonmctavish23: thank you y/n for making me an uncle
-> yourusername: ofc ofc
-> user2: aw mason’s her uncle🥺🤧
yourusername: you're lucky you're cute
-> jamie.drysdale: don't i know it
-> trevorzegras: and what about me???🥺🥺
-> yourusername: you're lucky your boyfriend's cute
-> trevorzegras: i'll take it!!!
yourusername: our maisie girl🥰
-> jamie.drysdale: my two girls😘
-> trevorzegras: our nutter butter😊
-> yourusername: your godfather privileges are so close to being revoked zegras
-> masonmctavish23: the dogfather
-> yourusername: you're next in line don't worry mac
-> trevorzegras: after that joke??!!!??
-> masonmctavish23: i'm committed what can i say
trevorzegras posted:
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trevorzegras: welcome to the family nutter butter!!
comments:
yourusername: that is NOT my daughter's name
-> trevorzegras: OUR daughter
-> jamie.drysdale: something i wanna know??
-> yourusername: jamie please tell your boyfriend that our daughter is not named after a cookie
->user1: their family tree is so confusing
jackhughes: NUTTER BUTTER!!!
-> _quinnhughes: and you wonder why you weren't named godfather
-> jackhughes: y/n is this true😭
-> yourusername: thanks for breaking the news for me quinn
-> jackhughes: wow🤧
-> yourusername: so sorry😐
colecaufield: is it still too late for a name re-vote?
-> yourusername: yes.
-> trevorzegras: still up for debate
-> masonmctavish23: is it too late to claim my godfather title?
-> yourusername: please do i can’t take them anymore🤧
-> trevorzegras: you can pry my title out of my dead hands😤
-> yourusername: promise😍
-> jamie.drysdale: don’t tempt her z
anaheimducks: daisy and maisie duck!!
461 notes · View notes
soleminisanction · 7 months
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I've always really liked DC's in-house choice of referring to their various superhero groupings as "families," but it has gotten a little frustrating recently with people both in canon and in fandom seeming to forget that families aren't just a parental-unit-and-kids formation. They're complicated, and a lot of the DC families are too messy to fit into that neat little nuclear family mode.
Which is to say... here's some scattered thoughts/summaries about how these families are actually structured in canon, because I think it's interesting:
Supers -- The smaller, more traditional Superfamily (Clark, Lois, Kara, Kon, etc.) is a pretty traditional Midwestern nuclear family, with Jimmy Olsen filling the role of close family friend/goofy neighbor sidekick (in the Silver Age, he was Kara's would-be suitor) and Steel feeling more like part of Clark's personal circle of friends. The recent line up, though, with Jon, the twins, Kong and Nat? Starts to feel more like some old dynasty or noble house, complete with fostered foundlings and the Steels acting almost like knights under a noble's banner, possibly reflective of what the House of El would have been on Krypton.
Arrows -- Might currently be the closet to a traditional nuclear family structure. You've got Ollie and Dinah, their younger sisters, Ollie's adopted and biological children, and Ollie's granddaughter through Roy, plus by some counts Roy's co-parent and her sister as "in-laws." Bonnie and Cissie King-Jones are adjacent to but not technically "part" of the family, though I believe it's implied at one point that Ollie might also be Cissie's bio-dad. Pretty straightforward, these guys are actually family and they act like it, for good and ill.
Shazam Family -- Also a literal, actual family. Not originally, the original golden age "Marvel Family" was considerably more complicated and only Billy and Mary were full siblings, but nowadays the whole point of the modern Shazam family is that they're foster siblings united by familial love and that's fantastic. Meanwhile your average Black Adam story is 75% angsty family drama, 25% Egyptian mythology references.
Flashes -- Technically closer to three nuclear families (the Allens, the Wests and the Garricks; four if you include the Quicks), two of whom are united by marriage and all of whom are bound by the Speedforce, which, given its semi-spiritual connections to things like Speedster afterlives, can act almost like a religious force that connects them to the additional members like Avery, Circuit Breaker and Max as Bart's foster-dad. They're a big, sprawling tree with more cousins than siblings, the kind of family that functionally has a reunion every Christmas and Thanksgiving.
Lanterns -- Now these guys are the exception that proves my point about the whole 'family' thing not being straightforward. The lanterns aren't a family, they're a corps. Soldiers. Space cops. Comrades-in-arms. They respect each other, have each other's backs, might even like or care about each other, but those last two are optional, and they don't have the same kind of assumed obligations towards each other that a family would have. They're friends and co-workers, not family, but that doesn't mean their relationships are less significant, they're just different.
Wonders -- Roughly half of them are either one of Hippolyta's daughters (Diana, Donna, Nubia pre-Crisis) or related to them through the gods (Cassie), and the other half (Artemis, Yara, modern-age Nubia) use sister as a term of endearment more in a utopian lesbian commune kind of way. I think they brought Steve Trevor back recently? He's basically the Ken in this equation and perfectly fine with that role. None of which should be surprising if you've seen Professor Marston and the Wonder Women.
Bats -- This is the one that people get really wrong when they try to force it into a traditional family structure. Don't let WFA fool you, the Bats are and have always been way more a snarled mess of tangled interpersonal relationships than they've ever been a cohesive family. Whether Dick is Bruce's son or his brother depends on what era you're talking about, and the former reading is much more recent than you think -- as in "started cropping up in the early 2000s" recent. Barbara is both Cassandra's sister and her mother. Duke and Steph both have living parents and neither of them want or would ever dream of treating Bruce like their dad; Tim was the same way until his dad died. None of the Robins ever lived in the mansion together, nor did Cass. Babs considered Jean-Paul Valley her brother and Huntress is so close to Tim she once hallucinated him calling her Big Sister. They're a beautiful mess of people finding places where their broken edges fit together into something that works for them and trying to reduce it down to a cozy nuclear family is just so goddamn reductive and lazy.
Blue Beetles -- Are only tangentially related to each other. Seriously, they never even get direct mentoring, each one just takes over when the previous one dies and works on completely different rules from the other two. They're complete strangers bound by a legacy and that's honestly pretty fun.
Zataras -- There's only three of them and they're literally a father, daughter and cousin.
Martians -- Not really a family because there's only the two of them, but an interesting case where the two survivors of what was functionally a war of mutually assured destruction came together in an attempt to find some peace in the aftermath of what they'd lost.
Titans -- The JLA and JSA aren't really in the "family" category, but the Titans lean into it hard, mostly because they're a textbook found family. They don't mirror a nuclear family structure, they're simply a group of people who came together to form a mutual support network. They're the idealized college friends you grew into your own with, some of them childhood companions and others you only met once you leave home for the first time, but all of them friends that you manage to maintain contact with for life, with everyone coming back together even as you scatter and do your own things.
Young Justice -- Meanwhile, this team is the chaotic group of misfits you hung out with when you were a teenager, especially when you were just starting to be allowed to act without adult supervision. You drive each other crazy, none of you know you're all queer as fuck, and you'd fight a bear for any of them even if they asked you not to. They'd probably be insulted if you tried to call them a family. They come out here to get away from their families, thank you very much.
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bluecollarmcandtf · 8 days
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"Dude, I took over your dad's body.."
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"...and goddamn is there a lot of him to work with! I've been a ghost for years now, but I've never been inside a 6' 3" ex-linebacker! I've been checking him out all afternoon, and let me tell you that this man is big and hairy all over," he punctuates his comment with a wink.
Your dad, the man you've looked up to your entire life, is saying things you don't want to think about while casually laying on the couch in nothing but a robe and booty shorts. The urge to puke is suppressed, but you know that Jimmy has crossed a line here. Your deceased friend has possessed bullies, professors, and more, but he's never had the balls to take over your own family. What was he thinking?
"I jumped into him while he was at work. I think his coworkers probably found it strange when I picked up his briefcase and waddled his ass out the door," Jimmy chuckles at the memory, "But don't worry. Your old man had plenty of sick days he wasn't gonna use."
It doesn't take long for you to burst out in anger at the spirit controlling your father. Your face is hot, and you can't stand to watch your dad get puppetted around like a fool!
"Calm the fuck down!" he swears uncharacteristically, "Give this big guy a hug. Come here. Daddy needs some love..."
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The thought of hugging your father while he's being forced to act like this feels wrong, but you relent. A part of you is glad for the embrace. It might not actually be your dad, but paternal comfort is exactly what you need right now, and your real dad isn't the type to give his child a hug.
"That's it, son," Jimmy pets your head with your father's thick hands, "Let daddy take care of you. Let your dumb old fart-of-a-father give you some much-needed attention."
You can't help but chuckle at the self-deprecating joke. Your real dad was too proud to laugh at himself, and he'd never made an effort to be anything other than distant and formal with you. In fact, there was a lot your real dad would never do; he'd never leave the office in the middle of the day, he'd never lay around the house like a lazy bum, and he'd certainly never let his hairy chest and thick legs be on full display in front of his disappointing gay son.
Suddenly, while still embraced, you realize there's something poking into your waist.
"Sorry, dude," your father whispers in your ear, "I guess your dad is just happy to see you."
You push him away, insisting that Jimmy needs to stay out of family members' bodies because this just feels so wrong! You search the pair of unnaturally blank eyes for any sign that Jimmy might be listening to you.
"You need to relax, bro," your dad (Jimmy) groans in annoyance. He looks disappointed, but then he sparks up and gives you a new look of excitement. "Son," he says with exaggerated machismo, "Take a page from my book and learn to chill out. It doesn't matter what the world thinks about you or me. I'll prove it to you..."
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With a placid grin and blank gaze, your father lumbers past and marches straight out the front door of the house. You're almost too stunned to follow. Was Jimmy really going to parade your dad's body around the neighborhood in nothing but his robe?
"Afternoon, neighbor," your father's rumbling tone bellows across the street, "Lovely weather, today. My son thought I should take my fat hairy gut for a little stroll in the sun. You know us dads have got to keep our boys happy. Am I right?"
Mr. Jones stares at your father from his porch, just as shocked as you are. He often drank beers with this man and every other neighborhood dad at backyard barbecues and living room game watches. This was not how he normally interacted with the man, and it obviously struck him as weird.
"You alright, Bob?" he asks hesitantly.
"Right as rain, neighbor!" Jimmy answers with a tone that's too goofy to pass as my dad's, "If that's how you're staring at me now, I wonder what'll happen if I take this robe off..."
Before Mr. Jones can process the flirtation in your father's voice, you shuffle your dad further down the street and away from the whole interaction. That may have been hilarious, but Jimmy was going to destroy any reputation and respect your father had around here!
You demand to know where Jimmy is going with this body. It's not like you have any ability to even slow the ghost down when he's got the weight and strength of your 200 lb father.
"I'm thinking the park. Your dad could use some cardio," he smirks, an unfamiliar expression on the grown man's face, "Or maybe the public bathroom on the north end. You know, it has that hole in the stall..."
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No amount of reasoning or arguments can change Jimmy's mind. Apparently he's set on wearing your father to the city's most notorious gay hookup spot.
"Don't look at me like that," his gravelly voice sounds amused by your frustration, "With me in charge, your dad will be the dirtiest slut that bathroom's ever seen. Don't you think it'll be funny to see such a massive, manly bear serving man after man in there?"
You sigh in disbelief.
"Or...maybe I don't have to rent out your dad's body to a bunch of strangers..."
You wonder where he's going with this. It sounds like an ultimatum is coming, and you don't like the idea of your crazy dead friend giving you an ultimatum.
"...your dad could hold off on bottoming for strangers...if...you let him be your submissive little bitch."
The choice is an annoying one, but you're pretty sure you can't let your dad have unprotected sex with strangers in a public place. This is what he'd want right?
"That's what I thought," the grin on your father's face twists maniacally. He tussles your hair like he's the proudest dad in the world, "Let's head on back home, buddy. Daddy's gonna lick every inch of sweat off that body of yours. He's got years of emotional absence to make up for."
One of his beefy arms cradles your back and turns you around. You're relieved to no longer be headed towards the public bathroom, but you're still a little nervous about what awaits you at home. How does Jimmy expect you to enjoy any of this when it's your dad doing all these things to you?
"Daddy's gonna treat you to a night that's all about you," he goes on, "Cooking you dinner, rubbing your feet, cuddling on the couch, and so much more. I want you to think of some humiliating things daddy can do for you while we walk back. Make sure they're extra degrading or your dad will just have to step out of the house and degrade himself where the entire city can see..."
The last comment gives you butterflies in your stomach, but it also gives you a bit of a hard-on. Maybe Jimmy playing with your dad wasn't so scary of an idea after all. With him possessed, anything was on the table: personal affirmations, some much needed bonding, roleplay, revenge, humiliation. Heck, you could even give your father a golden shower and Jimmy would have him smiling through it!
Walking home, you steal glances at your dad, towering over you as his rotund gut leads the way. Home can't come fast enough!
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tubbytarchia · 1 month
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Sorry I'm still feeling dread about maid Jimmy. Poorly made comic thing under cut
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Sorry this is gonna take up space but I really wanted it to be viewed as intended and such... I put it under read-more though so no one can complain!!
My art block is as strong as ever and killing me but I'm feeling so emotional and dreadful about that last SOS episode still, I forced my way through it lol. Joel wasn't there when it went down (I'm so fucking glad), which made me think of this instead and uh yeah I'm. Fuck man I dont even care about SOS that much!!!! This has ruined me
The way Pix (didn't really do anything wrong btw) made Jimmy dig a hole because he owed him for saving his life, and then Sausage comes in "aha!!!" and obligates Jimmy to do something for him too, quickly disregarding any uncertainty on Jimmy's half and shifting it onto Jimmy with "You actually reminded me that you owe me" (paraphrasing) grrrrr. And tbf he did talk about dancing at that point, but later Jimmy was clearly made to believe that he'd only be serving drinks and then Sausage goes "you're serving YOURSELF!" GRRRRRRR sorry this is just minecraft I know I know. I'm reading to deep into it yaada yaada. But no fuck that I want Jimmy to be happy and not to be made feel like he owes people things even if they saved him, I don't want Jimmy to talk like he's about to cry, I don't want him to be talked down to, I don't want him to feel like he has no room to object and has to just listen to others or expect to be treated a certain way hardwired into his brain, I don't want his abrasiveness to be more of a sought reaction to bullying/teasing/etc rather than a sign of the confidence he used to have, he's been through enough!!!! I hate this why can't I just awooga at maid Jimmy. That'd make things so much easier. Alas the horrors
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kira-broflovski · 1 year
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main 4 boys hcs: seeing you come back after you moved away
note: this set of hcs is really similar to a kyle fic i have in my drafts already 😭 but im glad you guys are enjoying my writing :)
STAN ☆
when he heard there was a "new girl" in school he didn't think much of it, and you weren't in his first class so it didn't really bother him.
he didn't even recognise you when the teacher called your name for the register in his second period class. was it really you?
"Y/N?" He whispered out of shock.
"Hi, Stan." You had whispered back with a smile, making a familiar sense of nausea come back to him.
the two of you spent the whole of class chatting; catching up.
^ that landed stan into detention, but he didn't care. you only didn't get detention because the teacher didn't want to scare you off on your first day.
stan didn't care though, it was totally worth it when he got your number and socials.
he couldn't resist texting you while he was in detention. your presence through the phone was enough to keep him going, and the endless conversation made the hours go by quickly.
after you got closer, he invited you to a soccer (football) game that he was playing in this weekend. of course he spent most of the game showing off when he spotted you in the crowd, and he worked hard to make sure his team won.
when he scored a goal, adrenaline was coursing through his veins. without thinking he ran up to where you stood in the stands and kissed you on the cheek, to then run back and continue playing.
that was only the beginning of the romance.
KYLE ☆
he went to school that morning, he was confused as to why people were talking about you.
i mean, you moved away from south park years ago. did people really miss you that much? he couldn't blame them, he probably missed you the most out of anyone.
it wasn't until lunch when jimmy went up to kyle.
"Your little girlfriend is back. Aren't you gonna talk to her?"
"Huh?"
"Dude, Y/N?" Jimmy was surprised at Kyle's confusion. "You don't know?"
"Know what?" Kyle was starting to worry people were playing a cruel joke on him.
"Oh my god, Y/N is b-back." Jimmy began, "I thought you would be the first to know?"
"No?" Kyle looked at his friends in disbelief. "Where is she right now?"
"She's outside talking to-"
poor jimmy couldn't even finish his sentence before kyle sprinted outside to see you. he really hoped it wasn't a joke, otherwise he'd never recover from being made to look like such an idiot.
he ran outside to find you just saying goodbye to butters, and he couldn't believe his eyes. he was so happy to see you he almost cried.
he called your name and you looked over at the familiar voice. you were so relieved to see none other than kyle broflovski himself.
"we should probably leave them two lovebirds alone for a little while."
KENNY ☆
kenny heard that a family had moved into the house you used to live in, and he was pissed off to say the least.
he treated your old house like a sacred ground as nobody had lived there since you had moved out.
he sometimes snuck into the back garden when he needed to get away from everything, or when he really missed you. he made sure any plants you had grown yourself were still alive, in the seemingly unlikely event you did return.
what he didn't know is that your family owned this house and didn't let anybody move in because you all knew you'd return to south park at some point.
he marched over to that house to see exactly who it was, but he noticed that there wasn't even a moving van, just two brand new cars.
To say the least, he was fuming. He was ready to raise hell on these people. Even if it wasn't actually called for, and he was just upset his memories of you would be ruined by them.
He didn't even hear commotion inside, telling him that this new family had already settled in. How dare they!?
The door opened and he was ready. He looked up at the mystery person only to see... your mom?
"Oh, Kenny! It's so good to see you." She smiled down at him. His burning anger turned into complete confusion. "Y/N! Your old friend is here to see you already!"
he could feel his heart racing again, but this time out of anticipation.
when he saw you, he felt that sense of peace you always gave him and he immediately felt his cheeks get hot when you pulled him into a welcoming hug.
after all that time, when he would spend hours just sitting in the garden he now knew it was worth it.
and after all those hours of catching up, you walked him all the way home and even up to the doorstep.
you said you were glad to see him again, before you kissed him on the cheek and made your way back home.
"WOOHOO!!"
ERIC ☆
i imagine he'd be like kyle where he wouldn't realise until somebody said to him you were back. only difference is he would attempt to act as if he didn't care.
you were in all of his classes when kyle asked if he had seen you yet.
of course this confused eric and claimed kyle was just being stupid again when he said you were back.
"Shut up, Kyle! You're just trying to make me look stupid in front of everyone." Eric shouted.
"I swear she's here, ask literally anyone in our grade and they'll say she is back!"
It was constant back and forth, until Eric heard somebody say his name.
To which he screamed, "what!?"
you couldn't tell at the time, but he felt bad for screaming in your face like that.
he remembers having a massive crush on you, but he got angry that you left without telling him.
when he stared straight into your eyes, he couldn't stay angry for long.
you gave him your new number so you could catch up when you had more time, and he simply watched as you walked away.
"I told you so, fatass!"
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leliawrites · 22 days
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OMG PLEASE WRITE SOMETHING FOR WEESA LIKE MAYBE DATING HEAD CANNONS AND WHATS IT LIKE AFTER ONE OF YOU CONFESS AND WHATS DATING HIM LIKE😫
dating weesa??!!
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twt wasnt lying. HE IS A TOTAL LOSER IN LOVE!! #1 LOVERBOY HOPELESS ROMANTIC
is COMPLETELY different with you v.s with others
super inexperienced with love, relationships, etc. so he's awkward and dumb when it comes to it, but his kindness shines through.
like in public hes super idgaf but he is so comfortable around so expect him to be extra vulnerable. he is VERY communicative and trusting. you talk to him about your problems and vice versa.
talks in his baby voice!! everyone sees him as big and intimidating cuz hes so tall (even you did at first) but he's just a softie and isn't afraid to show it around you
"can you pleaseee come over i miss you my sweetie pie :(" he pouts into the video call cooing for you
"what." jimmy walks in, surprised at the youngest curled up in the couch talking in baby
weesa clears his throat "i mean... uh... you could totally come over if you want... babe..." he spits condescendingly.
you and jimmy both burst out laughing feeling really really embarrassed for this try-hard "cool "dude.
he's dating you, but married to his phone!! you have to keep reminding him to pay attention to you.
"what are you even looking at??" you snatch his phone from him only to find he's been searching for the perfect widgets to put on his homescreen for his new wallpaper: a polaroid of you two at the arcade last week. he does this every. single. date. he's so obsessed with you.
lovey dovey loverboy!
he fell in love with you at first site. no literally. the first time he saw you he muttered under his breath, "holy fuck". "sorry what?" you asked. "uh. nothing. my name's weesa. ok bye." he smiled awkwardly and ran away. what a weird guy...
couldn't even ask you out straight up.
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"so uh do you have a boyfriend... or other kind of friend ?"
"no" you smiled, awaiting the big question.
"cool... cool.... do you... like hamburgers?"
"uhm. i guess?" it feels like you've been standing here forever.
"omg that's so crazy i like hamburgers too! we're quite similar dont you think?"
"its a popular food dumbassass" ren sighs, walking right past you two.
"so do you want to go out to eat hamburgers or any other kind of food you like there's no pressure at all-"
"are you asking me out?"
"yes! unless you dont want to. in that case im just asking from a friend to a friend but like, i really respect you and your choices either way-"
you cut him off by giving him a kiss on his cheek.
"stupid, i'd love to go out with you," you cheekily whisper.
first date?
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he took you to his favourite restaurant. actually, those were the first 12 dates. just different restaurants and cuisines. back to the first one.
the whole time, he was just fascinated with you and your ideas. asks you SO MANY questions about your hobbies because he loves the way your eyes sparkle when you talk about your passions.
"so what kind of yarn do you like to use when you crochet?" he doesn't really care for crocheting, but gosh, he could drown in threads of yarn if it meant seeing you this happy.
hours fly by and you two are still seated, entranced in each other's words. he cuts you off while you were recalling your most embarrassing drunk story, "i think i'm in love with you." you spit out your drink. but you can tell he's not kidding.
...so yeah! he's the type to confess after the first date.
dependable and trusting when you're down ;((
despite lacking experience in the relationship department, he really is such a good guy that you don't have to worry about anything else.
you were laying in his arms on your bed, both of you doom-scrolling. you were having a bad day but didnt want to burden him.
"you know, you don't have to feel like you're burdening me with your struggles", weesa says, his eyes still glued to his phone.
woah, did he just read your mind?
he continues, shifting to look at you, "that's what i'm here for. lay it all on me, love" he lightly strokes your hair and caresses your cheek.
"ugh you're the best" you fall into his arms, knowing you're home and you never have to second-guess yourself around him.
you talk to him about your problems for hours and hours. sometimes when he can't keep up, he writes stuff down in his journal, so he never forgets what you're going through. HE LISTENS AND HE CARES SO MUCH.
and when you're apart, he sends you a flower or a cake to cheer you up. "even when you're far from me, i'm always right behind you. - weezur" the note in the bouquet reads.
anyways, hope you enjoyed this im about to go jump 0ff a cl1ff now HES SO CHEESY AND ADORABLE UGHHHHHHHH43OHUIFREQLBERQHRQHALI
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greycaelum · 10 months
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Hi! Could you maybe make something protective Satoru-like? Maybe the reader is bothered by some drunken while coming back home?
Overall just angsty-fluff with comfort. Your style of writing is really to my liking and I've been thinking of taking a request for a while. I hope its not too much ❤️
Kaleidoscope Series—Love Me Now, Love Me Never Chapters: { Tipsy }
—Gojo Satoru X Sorcerer Reader
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𑁍 Synopsis:
"You sure you don't need me to drive and pick you up later? It's a den full of wolves." Satoru crossed his arms, leaning on the doorframe as he watch you wear the Jimmy Choo black pumps fitting your Friday night fashion for a girl's night out. "Satoru, baby. You don't know how to drive." You looked at him and sighed. "Y'know I don't need to drive, I can just whisk you away in a second back to bed!" He gasps dramatically and argued.
𑁍 Genre: mild angst to comfort, sfw (mild suggestive content)
𑁍 WC/CW/TW: (1.3k)—/ alcohol, suggestive violence (not towards reader), the reader being bothered in the club—/
𑁍 A/N: Hi sweetheart, I hope you like this one. Drunk trope isn't my forte but it was fun writing this, better late than never —Grey,
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Having a Gojo Satoru as a boyfriend means there's often a 6'3 giant lurking around you. Or if he's unavailable, undoubtedly one of his subordinates is tailing you in the shadows. It's a compromise you both reached knowing your lover has many enemies and it's for your protection too. Satoru won't take it kindly if ever something to you. He will lose it.
"You sure you don't need me to drive and pick you up later? It's a den full of wolves." Satoru crossed his arms, leaning on the doorframe as he watch you wear the Jimmy Choo black pumps fitting your Friday night fashion for a girl's night out.
"Satoru, baby. You don't know how to drive." You looked at him and sighed.
"Y'know I don't need to drive, I can just whisk you away in a second back to bed!" He gasps dramatically and argued.
You giggled and threw your arms around Satoru's neck. Satoru won't have to admit it, but you have him wrapped around your finger.
"Call me when you wanna come home, 'kay?"
"Okayyy~" 
That was the plan... Until Utahime started wailing about still having no prospects for marriage even at her age. Shoko is too busy having a drinking contest with herself and you... well, Satoru's lightweight tendencies must be rubbing on you. Just one glass of margarita and you can tell that you are already tipsy, two more shots and you knew that was enough for tonight.
"Mei-san can I leave the two of them to you? I'll go home, I'm feeling a little lightheaded."
"I don't mind. Should I call Gojo for you?"
"No need, I'll call him. See you around Mei-san."
You made your way through the bar. It's so loud with the full-blast speaker and people dancing on the stage, some are getting a little more frisky in the open.
Did Satoru also go through this kind as a teen? You know he doesn't drink but did he ever go to a bar too? Did he also make out with some random girls and do the deed? Did he also—?
The dark thoughts are suddenly attacking you from all directions.
"Hey Miss, you look so lonely, care to spend some time with me?" A tall guy approached you, just from his scent you could tell he was wasted.
"No, I'm on my way home. Don't bother me." You stumbled a little but managed to grab onto the nearest wall to support yourself. Damn, maybe you should've stayed home instead.
"Awee c'mon, going home?" hiccup "Your cat at home got no tuna or somethin'?"
Fuck, the liquor in your veins is starting to get dizzying.
"Her cat is actually a territorial one. Now, fuck off from my woman."
The familiar cool spicy scent overpowered the bitter taste of liquor surrounding you, your body collided with a hard chest and a hand over your shoulder guided you close to his side.
"Hey, hold on to me alright pretty girl? 'M gonna get us home in a second."
True to his words, you feel the ground melting from your feet and in a second landed back on the floor of your home. There's a faint aroma of the chicken noodles you love.
"Satoru..." A small whine like a child escaped your sealed lips. You don't have the energy to wash up or even take off your clothes. You just brought up your arms asking for a carry.
"Y'know, you're too spoiled." Satoru sighed and hugged you while your feet clumsily took off your black pumps and left them there.
Satoru watch his girl act like a baby, whiny and more needy than usual as he carried her to the sofa and brought the warm mug of noodle soup to her hands.
"I told you to call me. What if I didn't come?"
Satoru helps you take off your makeup and at the back, he's running the water in the tub for you. He wants to scold you but the sight of your hazy eyes and flush cheeks will only evoke something else other than anger in him.
"Liar..." You slurred. "You always come even if I don't call..."
It's the perks of having a sober man who is too protective to let you go in a den of wolves as he would often phrase it, and yet still supportive enough to let you go on a girl's night out.
You don't wanna get used to him being a superman in your life but he does show up at the split second before the pinch. And you can't help but be complacent at the thought Satoru will always be there to catch you. Selfish... You silently berated yourself and finished the second mug of soup.
You stared at Satoru who is now drying your hair after a quick bath you had. The thoughts from earlier came running back to you.
Satoru set down the blower and that's when you turn around and crawled between his legs, your noses hit as you took his glasses down and stare into his cerulean orbs.
"Babe... wanna get frisky with me?"
"B-Baby?" Satoru uncharacteristically stuttered at the sudden aggressiveness, but he easily recovered and look down at your plump lips that seems to invite him to take a bite.
"Uhmp!" You gasped and felt yourself being rolled into a burrito roll towards your side of the bed and Satoru patting your head before he drop a kiss on your forehead.
"Ask that question again when your sober, you drunkard." Satoru chuckled at your pout and frown.
"'m not a drunkard! Satoru you coward!" But no matter how you spite him Satoru merely shrugs and gently pats you to sleep.
He watches you murmur empty threats with that feisty mouth towards him while he hums and lets you tire yourself out with the liquor in your veins still making your thoughts fuzzy. He thinks you're really cute when you're drunk, and if he was a lesser man he doubts he'll have the strength not to rail you all night.
But Satoru doesn't like the thought of doing it when you're barely sober to give him decent permission. So he painfully stuffs a pillow between the two of you while you're rolled in the blanket as he shushes you to sleep.
The next day, you woke up almost rolling down the bed to free yourself from the blanket. Satoru was already downstairs. He looks at you with a knowing smirk as you approach him for a morning hug and kiss.
"Hey, ask me the question again, Baby." Satoru hugged you as if he could press you any closer to him when even a thread can't pass between the two of you.
You could feel the fast beating of his heart against your chest.
"... What question 'Toru?" You pat his back and look at him. Did you ask something weird last night?
"..." Satoru stopped swaying you and frowns before running his hand over his face.
"Eh? Did I do something while I'm drunk?" What's with his reaction? You tried going back to your memory but you can't remember anything more than him giving you chicken noodle soup.
"This is why I don't drink." Satoru huffs and pouts at you. You're hopeless when you're drunk. Satoru looks at your (his) clothes. His shirt looks oversized in your frame running down to your mid-thighs while your hair falls freely to your back, your legs are in his full view, plump and full to his touch while you wiggle your bare toes in the warm insulated flooring.
"Hey Baby... wanna get frisky with me?" He rasped, tipsy with you.
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—GreyCaelum
PLAGIARISM IS A CRIME
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