#but I decided to be boring and have a more heartfelt scene instead | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

i-am-baechu · 3 years

Text

Title: Promise | ♞ | | ♚ | | ♛ |

Paring: Kim Namjoon x reader

Genre: College au, slice of life au, coming to age, angst, romance, smut and fluff

Summary: College is where you find yourself and what you love in this world. Namjoon has heard this since he was a freshman in high school. He’s already had his life planned but it’s not until a girl knocks him off of his path; literally.

Warnings: Drinking, an indication of physical violence and a sex scene ( First time writing smut lol)

Author’s note: Happy late birthday to our leader Namjoon!! This story was inspired by Evening Primrose by Novelbright and I Will Go To You Like The First Snow by Ailee. I would recommend listening to these songs to set the mood!

Dear Namjoon,

It’s been so long since I saw you and I don’t know how I’m going through it without you. Everything around seems so boring and that’s coming from me. I know you’ve been busy lately and I should send a text instead of a letter but I think letters are more heartfelt. There’s so many things I want to tell you, this new road I found for biking, this special cafe that serves the best muffins and this cool hotel that has cool art pieces in the lobby. It feels like I haven’t stopped traveling for a second but it's fun to see different things but I wish you were with me. Having you holding my hand as we look at the stars or even at the paintings at the art museum here. Anything to have you with me.

Until Next Time,

Y/N

Three years ago

“Another one hundred on your test, Mr. Kim. Good job.”

Namjoon smiled at the teacher as he took his legal communication test and gave him a bow. He walked out of the classroom to see people talking to each other and he let out a deep sigh. All his friends were either in the music department or the film department. It was lonesome being in the law department but at least he could catch up with his friends on the weekends or even during lunch. He put the test in his folder and headed out to the diner hall to see his group of friends.

He decided to leave his bike at home and walk instead, especially since he had a lot on his mind right now. Ever since last week when his parents dropped by for a visit, a normal person would be excited for their parents after being apart for so long but he wanted them to leave the moment they stepped in. He didn’t have a bad relationship and that was the main source of his guilt towards them. His mom always brought food and small things that he needed in his dorm while his dad brought him art books that he liked. Everything was perfect but him.

Everytime he sees his parents the same thoughts go through his mind about his major or what he's doing with his life. He wanted to make his parents proud and decided to become a lawyer like his father was. He was never pressured by them but the implication was there at times. He wanted to do music with his friends but thought his parents wouldn’t like the idea and decided to go forward with law.

He opened the door and walked into the loudness that should be annoying but it was somehow comforting to him. He went towards a small kiosk that was selling sandwiches and decided to go with the turkey. He looked around the cafeteria and spotted his friends and walked towards them with a smile.

“Jonnie!”

He waved his sandwich at them and sat next to Yoongi and Hoseok, “Hey, how was class today?”

“It was annoying, this girl kept raising her hand when class was over asking questions that could be easily answered by reading the book.”

“Yoongi, maybe she didn’t have the textbook.”

He rolled his eyes at Jimin and took a bite of his salad and shrugged his shoulders, “Not my problem.”

Jungkook turned towards Namjoon with his bunny eyes that melted him, “How was your class, Joon?”

He wiped his mouth with his napkin and looked to see all eyes were on him now, “I got back my test from last week.”

“Oh, how did you do?”

“Taehyung, you should already know what his score is.”

“It doesn’t hurt to ask, Park Jimin.”

Namjoon scratched the back of his neck and gave them a nervous look, “I got a one hundred...”

“That's good Joon but you don’t sound happy about it.”

He shrugged his shoulders and looked down at his sandwich with an unsure look, “I mean it's another test, nothing serious.”

Seokjin raised his eyebrow at him and went to ask him another question but he beat him to it, “How did your picture come out, Jungkook?”

The conversations through the night were carried by Jungkook and Jimin as the rest just listened to them. They were talking about a project they had and how they have to figure out they’re muse for this assignment but Namjoon wasn’t really listening. It was another test and he got a perfect score on it but he wasn’t happy nor upset about it, he was just melancholy. For three years straight he was on top of his class but it didn’t mean anything to him. His parents and sister were proud of him for everything he achieved but he didn’t feel the same. Even his friends tell him how good he was doing in his classes but nothing stayed in his head. The only person that brought it up was Seokjin but he would always change the subject.

Towards the end of the night, they all separated to head back to their dorms. Seokjin went with Namjoon because his dorm was near his and he wanted to talk to him about stuff. Seokjin looked at Namjoon with a concerned face but Namjoon ignored it, “I saw your look.”

“What look?”

“When we were talking about your test score, you changed the subject. Normally when a person gets a perfect score they show some type of happiness but you didn’t, why?”

He shrugged his shoulders and put his hands in his pocket as he continued to look forward, “It's just a test and there's always going to be another one.”

Jin raised his eyebrows at this and shook his head at this, “This isn’t the first time you reacted like that so, clearly something else is wrong.”

“I know your major is psychology and film but you're being annoying right now.”

Jin rolled his eyes and wrapped his arms around his shoulders causing Namjoon to grunt at the sudden impact, “I’m just worried about you that’s all.”

He let out a sigh and looked back at Jin, “I know. It’s just for me, they're questions that I know the answer to and that's it. Nothing more or nothing less.”

“Are you getting bored of it?”

“I wouldn’t say bored but...I don’t know how to explain it.”

“Hopefully something hits you so you can figure it out.”

“Y/NNNN!!! WERE GOING TO BE LATE AND IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF YOU!”

“I’M PUTTING ON MY JACKET GET OFF MY BACK LYDIA!”

In the dorms of Y/N L/N and Lydia Miller, it was project day for the both of them. The history department was having a project about the royal family throughout Europe by having a powerpoint presentation and an essay to go with it. They had three months for this project and Y/N was already almost done with her powerpoint. She picked out England’s royals family while Lydia picked out Norway. Y/N was doing a European history degree and Lydia was doing an Art History degree. The two met in their first year of college when Y/N accidentally dropped Lydia's notebook in a World History class and ever since then they’ve been friends.

Y/N walked down the stairs and zipped up her jacket as she raised her eyebrow at Lydia, “Why did you call for me? Are we going somewhere?”

“Yes, because I tried cooking dinner and I failed.”

“How badly?”

“It was mac and cheese and for some reason it was brown on top but it was too liquidy? It was burnt but it wasn’t burnt.”

“How-I don’t want to know. Alright, let's go for dinner.”

They walked through the campus and waved towards their classmates whenever they saw them. It was cold on this sunday afternoon and the two were tired from their homework and as well as Y/N babysitting her little brother on weekends for her parents. They walked into the cafeteria to see that it was almost empty, which surprised them especially since it's the weekend. They walked up to an Italian kiosk and picked out chicken parmigiana to have. They went to sit at a table to wait for their food as Y/N eyes drifted behind Lydia making her turn around.

“Is loverboy over there?”

“Shut up...and yes he’s over there with his friends.”

“How can someone have so many friends? That’s crazy to think.”

“Sounds like jealousy to me.”

“No, it is. I just have you and Seulgi.”

She shook her head and saw him walk out with his friends and frowned. They were in two different departments and he probably didn’t remember her from high school but seeing him still gave her butterflies. Lydia took a sip of her sprite and stared at her friend's face, “You can always try to talk to him you know.”

“It’s been two years since high school. I doubt he remembers me. We only had two classes in senior year and he was always in the front while I was in the back.”

“You never know, maybe he remembers you.”

She shook her head at this and took a sip of her water, “He probably remembers the other girls because they were all over him. Always asking him for help on homework or asking to hang out during lunch.”

“I mean I get that, he is very handsome. Good choice, Y/N.”

She rolled her eyes and they both stood when they heard their names being yelled through the almost empty lunch room. When they had the plate of food in their hands, Lydia leaned down to whisper in her ear.

“What was his name again?”

“Kim Namjoon.”

The next day, Y/N woke up for her early for her Modern Europe class as Lydia had her day off. It was too early for anyone to function or even raise their hand for participation points. It was once again cold today and she didn’t know if she should change from her sweats or actually put on clothes this time for a change, she picked the second choice. She put on jeans for the first time in months and a pastel pink v-necked sweater. The look couldn't be complete without her hair in a messy bun and her glasses that were going down the bridge of her nose slowly.

She held onto her laptop and textbook as she made her way through the campus to get herself a quick coffee for the day. She headed to the class and saw that the professor was already in class. She looked inside to see if anyone was there and saw a few students sitting there with their laptops. She walked in and took the seat at the back of the class and turned on her laptop. She went on her youtube to watch random cooking videos and started to do an outline for her essay as she waited for the professor to get started. On the other side of the campus, Namjoon was running late for his class.

After last night, Namjoon entered his dorm and decided to have a couple of shots of soju but the couple of shots turned into five bottles. His outfit was his loose white shirt that showed off his collarbones and his light gray loose sweatpants. He didn’t have time to put on regular shoes so, he settled on his sandals and a hat to hide his messy hair from the lack of sleep (and hopefully hid his eyes). He walked through the empty campus with his coffee and the annoyance from last night. He hated how easy Jin could read him, it was annoying but at the same time it was nice to have someone see him in distress (even his parents had a hard time with that).

He walked into his classroom and saw that most of the seats were already filled including the seat he always sat in. He went towards the back avoiding looks from everyone who gave him a shocked look because of how he was dressed. He usually was dressed nicer with a pair of loose jeans or even skinny jeans but he was rarely in sweats in public or in his class to be more accurate. He sat there with his bucket hat shielding his face and he knew this day wasn’t going to be good for him.

“Mrs. L/N, can you come up for a second?”

She turned her head at her professor with her eyebrow raised but went towards his desk clenching her things harder in her hands, “Yes, professor?”

“Can you drop this off in the law department front office for me? Also, I think you should check out a class that talks about England's laws towards the monarchy, it's in room B256 on Mondays. It goes in depth for your powerpoint and essay, only if you want to. I would give you extra credit if I see it in the essay.”

“Thank you professor. I’ll look into it.”

She took the folder and bowed to him as he gave her a gentle smile. He turned towards his computer screen and that was the sign for her to leave. She put the folder under her laptop to make sure none of the papers would fly from the wind. She was unfamiliar with the department, the only thing she knew was that they made really good sandwiches in the cafe in the building. She opened the front door and walked into pure silence, Not really welcoming.

The department looked so sophisticated compared to her at this moment. There were paintings around the front and the ceiling was high with a window on top to show the light blue sky. She looked around the room to see people around with coffees in their hands and expensive bags. She knocked on the front office door and waited for an answer.

She opened the door and saw the front lady who gave her a small smile, “How can I help you?”

“I have a folder from Professor Lee. He's in the history department.”

“Ah, thank you so much sweetie.”

She took the folder and Y/N gave her a small smile with a bow. She walked out the building and looked back with curiosity but shook it off and made her way towards the cafeteria to meet Lydia for lunch.

Namjoon was finally done with his class and sat at the cafe to see Yoongi and Jin eating sandwiches waiting for him. He let a small smile appear and walked up to the table with an exhausted look.

“You look terrible.”

“Thanks hyung, that's what I wanted to hear.”

“I don’t lie.”

Namjoon let out a sigh and leaned down in his chair, “I don’t even remember what happened in that class.”

“That’s very unlike you.”

“I drank last night.”

Jin raised his eyebrow and took a sip of his water, “Why did you drink?”

“I just felt like it. It didn’t give an epiphany if you were wondering, hyung.”

“I hope something will.”

The weekend finally came and Y/N was off to visit her parents. Every weekend, she would go up to see her parents to watch her younger brother while her parents visited her grandmother who had been sick for years but had only recently gotten worse. She put her helmet on and got on her bike for the two hour ride. She tightened the straps from her backpack and was off.

The main reason why she picked that college was because it was close to her family home but deep down it wasn’t the one she wanted. The college that was her dream college was in England where her major would’ve made more sense to her. She wanted to go there but she heard her grandmother went against it. Every year though, she gets emails from the college telling her about the new school year or the new classes she can take. She never told her parents this because she knew they would have her go but she couldn’t leave them especially now.

She looked at the familiar stores and houses with a small smile but it never reached her eyes. She continued her way until she saw the familiar white house that was her childhood home. She took off her helmet and put her bike in the garage. She opened the door and felt arms around her waist causing her to let out a groan from the impact. She wrapped her arms around him, “Well hello to you, bud.”

“I miss you.”

“You saw me last week, Johnny.”

“I just miss you.”

She ruffled his hair and looked up to see her parents coming towards her with overnight bags. They gave her a happy smile but she knew deep down it’s not truly happy, “Y/N, I’m sorry that you have to come over every weekend.”

“Mom, it's alright. I’ll always be here for you guys no matter what.”

“We should be the ones saying that, princess.”

She shook her head and grabbed her fathers hand as she rubbed the tops of his hand gently with her thumb, “Were family, that's how it is.”

Namjoon sat in his family living room after being gone for two years he decided it was time to visit his family. Another reason was, he wanted to tell his parents about his feelings. He looked down at the opened book with a blank face as the words on the paper didn’t reach his head. He closed the book and got up from the couch in a rush as he walked back and forth in the living room. He doesn’t even know how the conversation will start nor does he know how it will end and that part scares him the most. The unknown part of life made him feel trapped in the life he chose for himself.

He grabbed his jacket from the couch and headed towards the front door, “Omma! Appa! I’m going to take a walk around the park!”

“Be safe Joon!!”

He walked outside and put his hands in his coat pocket as he made his way to the park that was familiar to him. He remembers the time he came here with the guys and they teased him for liking this girl in his class. He smiled at the memory and wished things were that easy today.

“Why don’t you just talk to her?”

He rolled his eyes at Hoseok and pushed his arm off of his shoulders as they walked towards the park, “She doesn’t talk to anyone in that class. I doubt she wants to talk to me.”

“You don’t know that, you haven’t even tried.”

They sat in the swings as Namjoon looked down at his shoes, “She sits in the back for a reason. I shouldn’t barge into her life like that.”

“Girls love that. A person barging into their lives making them feel happy.”

“I doubt she wants that...”

He stared at the swings with a sad smile and sat on them. He slowly went back and forth as his thoughts were doing the same thing. He loved his parents with all his heart but at this moment he doesn’t know if love can save him. He looked up and saw a group of young kids playing on the playground and he let a smile escape when heard the laughter from them.

He started to feel the cold breeze from the moon and he realized how long he was out. He left his phone back at his parents because he was in a rush to get out of the house and he knew he's going to hear an earful from them. He got up and zipped up his light grey jacket and headed out of the park. He walked as slow as possible, not wanting to get home any time soon. He ignored the sound around him and continued to walk until he was pushed to the ground.

He let out a loud grunt as his eyes were closed from the sudden pain. He slowly opened his eyes and they slowly widened when he saw who it was, “Y/N?”

“Namjoon, Oh my god- I am so sorry. I was running to pick up some pasta for dinner. I am so sorry, are you okay? Why would you be okay, I literally knocked you-”

He let out a small chuckle as he slowly got up to put his hands on shoulders, “Y/N, It’s alright.”

“You know my name?”

“Why would I ever forget your name?”

“Oh, that was rude to assume you forgot my name. I’m not saying your meaning and you wanted to forget it. It's just been two years since high school, so I just assumed you forgot my name.”

“You remember my name. I can ask the same question to you about remembering my name.”

He watched her face turn red as she looked away to push her glasses up, “I mean yeah...Oh, let me help you get up.”

She got up and put her hand out as she looked at him with her innocent eyes that he remembered from high school. He let a smile escape but it was a real smile this time. He accepted her hand and got up slowly as he looked down at her only now realizing how short she was. She looked up at him and they stared at each other until she realized why she was running in the first place.

“I have to go, I’m sorry. My younger brother is alone and I have to go back as fast as I can.”

“Oh, no. I understand but maybe we can meet up here tomorrow to catch up? You can bring your brother, wait how old is he?”

“Yeah-yeah I would love that. I mean I would like that a lot. My brother’s nine, he likes to play on the playground with my dad. I think it will be good for him to come out and get fresh air. Actually, I need fresh air from doing my work.”

He looked down and realized he was still holding her hand and let go to scratch the back of his neck, “I’ll see you tomorrow then...”

“Bye...”

He watched her leave and stared at her back until she was out of his sight. He let the widest grin he's had in months and clenched his chest, Y/N... He turned around and walked back to the filmlair path to go back to his house when another memory came to mind.

“She got another hundred on her test.”

“Namjoon, the more you talk about her the more I get annoyed by the lack of effort on your part.”

“Hyung, you don’t understand. She’s everything I want-”

“Then talk to her.”

“Y/N, wouldn’t want to talk to me. Plus we only have two classes and we're seniors, there isn’t enough time for anything to happen.”

“Time is in your head but what I do know is that if it happens then it happens. Regardless of time.”

Yoongi was always good with words but during that time, he never understood what he was trying to tell him. Maybe it was time for him to try to do everything he wanted with her that he was too scared to do in high school. He stopped in his tracks and pinched his arm because everything happened so fast. It’s amazing how things get written out for him and he doesn’t even know how it happens at times but he doesn’t want to argue with the universe and take it the way it is. He opened the door to his house and walked in with a huge grin as he saw his parents on the couch, “Do you guys remember Y/N?”

Y/N opened her eyes and stared at her ceiling with a blank expression. She couldn’t believe that she ran into Namjoon and fell on top of him. She grabbed a random cushion on her bed and brought it to her face to let out a loud groan. I’m so embarrassed it hurts. She removed the cushion when she heard a knock at her door, “Come in!!”

“Y/NNNN!! I’m bored!”

She got up slowly and looked at her brother with a frown, “What do you feel like doing today?”

“That's what I wanted to ask...My friends asked me to hang out by the playground today on Friday and I forgot to ask mom.”

“Did you really forget or did you wait until I came because you knew I would say yes?”

“Yes...”

“I asked two questions. You know what, never mind that. Yes, we can go to the park today.”

“Really!! Thank-”

“First, you need to help me make lunch to bring to the park then.”

He nodded his head and left her room as she let a smile appear but then a panicked look came across her face. Namjoon never told me the time he wanted to meet me. Maybe he wasn’t being serious about hanging out today. Yeah, I’m going to lean towards that one.

She got out of her bed and brushed her hair as quickly as she could so she could feed her brother breakfast. She put her hair in a messy bun and headed downstairs to see her brother taking out his cereal by himself.

“You got it, Johnny?”

“I can do it myself!”

She smiled at this and went to make her own breakfast for the day. She made herself a peanut butter sandwich with strawberry jelly and a glass of honey tea. She pulled out the chair for her brother as he sat down eating his food with a smile. She ruffled his hair and went back to eat her food with a nervous look. Namjoon looked so happy seeing me or maybe that's what I wanted to see. Ignorance is bliss sometimes, I guess.

She went back to her room to change for the park day and decided to leave her laptop at home to finally feel relaxed for once. She changed into a purple striped sweater and black leggings with her white sneakers. She headed downstairs with her shoes in hand and saw that her brother was already waiting outside for her. She smiled at the excitement and hurried to put her shoes on and grabbed her purse. They walked down towards the park and she looked at a store that brought back a sad memory for her.

She was sitting in the store hiding from the girls in her classroom. They found out who she liked and now she was mortified to show her face in public again. The group of girls went through her backpack when she went for a drink and found her journal. She knew she was stupid because why would she bring something to school that was that special to her?

The store owner looked at her with a sad look and looked at the front of the store for the group of girls. He walked towards her as he saw the girl on the floor crying from the interaction. He went down to her level and gently removed her arms to see her face. She had a small bruise forming on her cheek and a small cut forming under her eye.

“Come on, let's patch you up.”

She shook her head at this thought and continued to walk with her little brother who was well ahead of her. She watched her little brother go straight to the playground as she went towards the swing with her headphones in. She was looking around hoping to see Namjoon but after an hour passed, she realized he wasn’t coming. She shouldn’t feel so hurt about this but the look on his face from yesterday gave her the false hope that maybe he would come. Maybe this is a sign from the universe to finally move on from him...after three years of being in love with someone...and never getting noticed by him, maybe it's time to say goodbye.

She snapped out of it when she heard her name being called. She looked up to see the dimple tall man that she fell in love with. Her eyes widened and she got out of the swing slowly, “You came?”

“Sorry about that, my mom wanted to make me lunch and then my aunt came over. I didn’t mean to keep you waiting, Y/N.”

She shook her head as she blinked rapidly, “No, I’m just...I’m shocked you came.”

“I was the one that asked you to come, it would be rude of me if I didn’t show up.”

“It would be rude...I’m glad you're here.”

He sat in the swing next to her as he watched the kids play, “You remember when you were that young?”

“I do but at the same time I don’t. I feel like their memories that my parents had of me when I was young and none are mine if I’m being honest.”

“That’s fair. The only thing I remember was getting hurt a lot at that age.”

She let out a laugh and looked at him as he looked at her closely and the smile she had, “That’s oddly specific to remember isn’t it?”

“It made my parents and sister laugh so, I guess that's why I remember it.”

“Does it make you laugh?”

“Sometimes.”

The two sat in silence as she avoided his gaze and bit her lip. She let out a deep breath, causing him to look at her curiously, “Why did you want to meet up with me?”

“Because we went to the same high school.”

“We go to the same college, if you wanted to catch up with me you could’ve seeked me out.”

“Wait, we go to the same college? I’m usually in the law department or the film one. If I knew you were there, I would’ve done this a long time ago.”

“You're in the law department? That's surprising.”

He stopped swinging and turned towards her completely, “Why is that?”

“Because you loved writing lyrics in high school...I remember in our American Literature class you were the first one to finish the poem assignment and then you read it to the class. You were so good at writing them that hearing you become a lawyer is a shock.”

He nodded his head and looked down at his feet for a second but looked back at her, “Things happen you know. What’s your major?”

“Oh, I’m doing history.”

“See that makes sense for you.”

“Why?”

“You always got perfect scores in history class, I was jealous of it.”

“You remember that?”

“Yeah... I always remember you Y/N. Please don’t think otherwise.”

Hearing him say this caused her heart to beat even faster, if that was possible.

“You talked to Y/N? Like the Y/N from high school?”

Namjoon nodded his head in a shy manner towards Yoongi who was shocked at what he just said, “It only took you two years.”

“Do you really have to bring that up?”

“Yes, because I was the one that had to suffer.”

Jimin rolled his eyes and kicked Yoongi shin under the table as he turned towards Namjoon with a smile, “So, what happened?”

“I walked her home and I asked her to meet me for lunch on Thursday because it was less busy.”

“Ah, smart. No wonder you're at the top of your classes.”

“That’s not how it works, Jungkook but I’m happy for you.”

“Thank you, Taehyung.”

Y/N looked at her friend whose eyes were wide at what she just said, “The person who you had a crush on for three years asked you for lunch because you knocked into him.”

“Yes... I already said it three times.”

“You lucky bitch, your living in a stupid teen romance novel while I’m here waiting for something, anything at this point.”

“Shut up, I was shocked he asked him out but we’ll see how well it goes.”

Dear Namjoon,

I guess it’s selfish of me to ask for your attention especially since what happened between us. There hasn’t been a day where I haven’t thought of you or worn your sweater that you sneakily gave me. I know we text often but I hope my letters give you the intimacy that you deserve. I wish I can give you all the physical touches but this letter is my physical touch to you. I love you forever and ever.

Until Next Time,

Y/N

Two years ago

“You know it's pretty disgusting.”

Y/N titled her head at Lydia as she put up the rest of the plates, “What is?”

“How much he loves you. It's annoying to watch on the sidelines.”

“That’s not nice and who?”

Lydia gave her look of are-you-kidding-me with her eyebrow raised, “Loverboy.”

“Don’t call him that and he hasn't said he loved me.”

She closed the cabinet as she turned towards her friend with an annoyed look but Lydia saw the red cheeks. She jumped off of the countertop and walked into the living room, “Even though he hasn’t said it, his actions show it.”

Y/N sat on the couch as she pulled down her sweater over her hands, “What do you mean?”

“He buys you lunch, he waits for you when your class is over, he walks you to your classes even the early ones, he holds your laptop and he checks you out everytime.”

She rolled her eyes and checked her buzzing phone. The nervous smile dropped and a frown replaced it. It was another email from the school in England. After last year's history project went well, her professor sent a letter of recognition to the school for her masters. She didn’t tell any of her friends or even Namjoon about it because she knew they would want her to pursue it. Her heart tells her to tell them but her brain tells her not to risk it in case they get mad at her for hiding this secret.

Lydia raised her eyebrow at the sudden mood change, “What happened?”

“Another news update from the world. Never happy...”

That night she was restless and she remembered what Namjoon told her last week making her feel even more guilty about her decision.

“Thank you for supporting me. I appreciate it.”

“I’ll always support you, no matter what.”

She grabbed her phone and sent a text to Namjoon, Are you up?

Yeah, why are you up?

The weather is keeping me up.

Want to go to the park?

That sounds fun : )

Namjoon and Y/N sat together at a bench as the two stared at the night sky with a smile. She leaned her against his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around hers. The two have been dating for a year next Friday. In the span of the year, Y/N hasn’t felt happier. Her grandmother was feeling better, her history professor was impressed with her work and she was with someone who she had wanted since she was a teen but deep down something was wrong. Ever since her professor recommended her to the college of her dreams, she decided to deny it because of how well everything was going for her.

She cuddled further into his neck as he rubbed her shoulders, “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, I just like spending time with you.”

“I would hope so, unless this would be awkward to do.”

She looked up at him with a confused face but was met with his lips instead. She let a smile escape as she kissed back. The kiss wasn’t passionate but it wasn’t just a peck either. It was the type of kiss that took your breath away everytime you shared it. They both pulled away as they stared at each other with pure happiness seeping through their eyes.

“Y/N, next week I was thinking we could go to Starlight.”

“Starlight? That’s expensive.”

“I know but It’s for a celebration of our time together, so it's worth it.”

“That was cheesy but I love it.”

She leaned forward and kissed the tip of his nose as he kissed her forehead. Everything was going perfect for her but something was missing and she couldn’t figure it out. They both stood up from the bench and held hands as he walked her towards her dorm. She swung their arms back and forth as they walked, making him let out a chuckle. When they reached the door he leaned down and kissed her lips gently making her heart flutter. She waved goodbye as she felt his eyes on her back as she entered her dorm. She clenched her chest as she couldn’t stop smiling but at the same time she felt guilty for hiding something from him but she knew what she was doing was right.

The next morning, Y/N woke up late the next morning after arriving home late. Lucky for her, she didn’t have any classes today but she had a meeting with professor Lee. He wanted to discuss her history project from last year and among other things. She was nervous to hear what he had to say but thought to herself what's the worst that can happen.

She changed into her tan sweater and leggings with her hair up in a messy bun. She left a note for Lydia to let her know where she was and was off. She walked across the campus trying her best to avoid the other students.

She knocked on the door of her professor and when she heard the okay she opened the door. She looked around the room with wide eyes as she saw the history departments dean and all the professors there waiting for her.

Show bowed slowly to them and when she came back up gave them a small smile, “Good morning...”

“Mrs. L/N, please have a seat.”

She took the only seat that was towards the door and stared at them with a confused look, “Is everything alright?”

“Yes, professor Lee told us that you got accepted to the University of Cambridge but you haven’t confirmed anything, is that correct?”

“Ummm...Yes sir.”

“This college would do wonders for your job career and not only that, it will elevate you as a person. We just wanted to make sure you're making the right decision.”

“I-I still haven't made one.”

“You have until the end of this month but please really think about it. You're the top student and we see the passion you have for history. We just want you to make the right decision for yourself or talk to us if you're going through something. Have a nice day, Mrs. L/N.”

“Does this dress look weird? Be honest.”

“Do you want me to just call you ugly? I’ve called you pretty.”

Y/N flattened out her skirt and did another twirl in the mirror. The dress covered a small portion of her shoulders and flowed down into a fancy keyhole neckline. It was a snugged fit which highlighted her breasts but it left one to imagine. Her arms have been covered completely as the sleeves came down to a very loose fit at the bottom as it touched her skirt. The dress itself showed off her shape but the skirt made it obvious without heels she would trip. To top everything off, she had on a simple diamond heart necklace that her father gifted her and diamond hoops that Namjoon gave her for her past birthday. The color lilac went well with her skin tone and curled hair but she couldn’t help something was missing.

“It feels like something is missing.”

“Yeah, it's called confidence, go get it.”

She rolled her eyes at Lydia and realized what it was missing. She went through her jewelry box and picked out a simple bracelet that Namjoon actually made for her on a date, “There now it's complete.”

“If you don’t get laid then I have no choice in this world.”

“Shut up.”

She heard the doorbell and ring and looked at Lydia, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“I better see a hickey!!”

“Shut up!!!”

She opened the door and saw Namjoon in a simple black tux holding purple roses. She looked up at him and saw the shy glance making her feel shy as well. She leaned forward and kissed his check gently and took the roses out of his hands, “I love them, Joonie. Bonus points on getting flowers that I'm not allergic to, this time.”

“You will never let that go.”

“My doctor won't so, take that as you will.”

She took her purse off of the nail as she set the flowers on the table near the door. She took Namjoon's hand and the couple was off into the night. She held his hand as she leaned against his long arm and he kept looking down at her making sure his elbow wasn’t hitting her. The two entered the restaurant and the ceiling was everything the reviews said they would be. It was glass but there was an inner layer where it slowly turned to make you feel like the stars were shining under you as you ate.

They walked towards their table which was near the middle of the room. He pushed the chair out for her and she smiled at him. She sat down and stared at him with pure admiration and he returned it. They both ordered simple pasta so they can have room for dessert to celebrate their anniversary.

Namjoon grabbed her hand across the table and creased hers with his thumb, “I have something to tell you.”

“This can either go good or bad.”

“It’s good, I just wanted to tell you tonight how much I appreciate you and how in love I am with you.”

Her mouth fell open when she heard the last words with her eyes wide, “You love me?”

“I’ve loved you since high school, Y/N. I never told you this before because I was embarrassed to say that I was in love with you before we met and I didn’t want to scare you off.”

“I’ve been in love with you since high school too.”

The both of them stared at each other before Namjoon letting out a deep laugh, “God, I’m so stupid. Should’ve taken my chance with you when I had it.”

“Well now we have each other. We can make up for lost time.”

He gave her a small smirk and leaned forward, “You want to make up lost time?”

“Yeah, I’ve been in love with you for so long that I want to make up for everything we missed.”

“Everything?”

“Of course.”

He gave her a mischievous look, “Just wait till tonight then.”

Her face turned red and shook her head at him. The waiter brought out a cake and the chocolate syrup on the plate said “Happy anniversary.” She gave him a smile as she took a small piece of cake and fed it to him. The two eat the cake in peace as Namjoon looks at her with pure happiness. This past year was everything he wanted it to be and more except for his school life.

When they were done, he ordered a taxi and she raised her eyebrow at this. She gave him a confused look, “The dorms are over there-”

“What I’m going to do to you doesn’t need an audience.”

The car ride there was filled with silence as she didn’t know what to say to him. She was flustered at the implication and now her whole body feels like it's on fire as he creased the tops of her thigh slowly. She stared outside her window as she felt his stare but she knew if she looked at him she would melt right there. When the car stopped, he gently took her hand and took her to be in front of a fancy hotel. Before she could say anything, he opened the front door and entered it.

She waited for him to check in as she wasn’t sure what to do and she looked around the lobby to see nice flowers in pots and random paintings that brought the room together. He showed her the room key and took her hand to the elevator. As they stood in a small space, she tilted her head at him, “Sooo....what's happening?”

“I have something to show you.”

“Can I have a hint?”

“Nope.”

She frowned at this but shrugged her shoulders as she grabbed his hand and leaned against her arm with a smile. He looked down at her and smiled as he kissed the top of her head. The elevator stopped and he took her hand as he led her into the top suite of the hotel. Her eyes widened at the sight before her. The room was filled with candles and purple rose petals on the floor.

“Namjoon...I-”

“Do you like it?”

“Like it? If I said I liked it I might as well slap you. I love it.”

He let out a small chuckle and brought her towards a table that had champagne and strawberries (her favorite.) She took a strawberry and brought it up to his mouth as he happily accepted the small fruit. She took a sip of her champagne as she smiled at him, “Your not going to eat the strawberries?”

“I fed you...”

“Oh, I see you want me to feed you. If you wanted that you should’ve just said that.”

“It’s embarrassing.”

He ignored her and brought up a strawberry to her mouth as she parted her lips to eat the berry. She felt some of the juices go down her chin as she felt his stare on the juices. She went to wipe the juices with a napkin, he was quicker and leaned in to wipe the juices up with his finger. He gave her smirk, “Open your mouth, baby.”

She looked down at his finger and realized what he wanted. Her face turned redder but she ignored her nerves and gently leaned forward taking the finger into her mouth. She looked up at him with big innocent eyes and she sucked off the juice. He let out a heavy breath as he watched her and something about her innocent eyes made him go crazy on the inside.

She released the finger and looked away from his stare for a second, “Fuck...”

She looked back at him to see his eyes clouded with a look she's seen once in a while but never questioned it until now, “Is everything okay...”

“Y/N, I love you. You're the only woman I ever wanted to be with and I’ve been in love with you for years. You're the only one I can see in my future and I know we’ve only been together for a year now but...What I’m trying to say is- Will you marry me?”

Her eyes widened as she watched him get down on his knee with a beautiful ring that looked like a diamond encrusted flower. She looked back at his face to see the nervousness on his face, “Of course I will marry you.”

She leaned down and brought his face into chest as she gently ran her fingers through his as he hugged her tightly. When she was released from the hug she looked at him with small tears in her eyes, “You have to tell your parents about your dreams with music.”

“I knew you would say that, so I asked to meet with my parents this weekend.”

He put the ring on her finger as she smiled at him doing it. He grabbed her hand and they stood up from the floor. He leaned down to kiss her as he desperately nipped at hers while her hands went on his chest in a shy manner but she felt his muscles. His body responded by bringing her in closer as her dress hiked up on her thighs as his knee parted her legs until his lower body was pressed against hers. His tongue pushed forwards into her mouth making a shy moan come from her mouth. She felt his hips grind against her lower part and released herself from the kiss to put her head on his chest from the sudden movement. She felt him getting hard already and Namjoon let out a deep breath, “God, Y/N...”

He pressed his forehead against the top of her head as Y/N listened to his heartbeat thumping loudly in his chest. She slowly looked up at him and gave him a gentle smile, “I think we should move this to the bed...”

“I was thinking the same thing, love.”

He lunged forward, attacking her lips with a hungry kiss that took her breath away. He picked her up and she felt his hands rub the back of her thighs as she continued to kiss him. It wasn’t until she felt the softness of the bed making her eyes wide when she felt his hand under her dress.

“Joon-” She tried to ask him what he was doing but was met with an answer instead. His hand slipped into her underwear and he gently pushed two fingers inside her without warning. “Joon...” she moaned out his name throwing her body against the bed at the sudden feeling. His long fingers were inside her and she felt the best she had felt in a while, and she couldn’t stop the sounds.

“I love how you say my name, baby.” He praised her with a smirk, thrusting his fingers in and out at a steady rhythm as his thumb found its way to her clit. She gasped at the feeling and clutched her chest tightly with her eyes closed.

“I feel bad for others because they will never get to see or feel this pussy, tell me Y/N, would you like that?”

“Y-yes...”, she stuttered out, feeling too overwhelmed from Namjoon’s actions. He knew exactly what he was going to do and it made Y/N jealous at his confidence but she couldn’t get enough of it.

“Good,” He cooed and kissed the inside of thigh and as he gave her thigh a small squeeze causing her to groan at the sudden touch, “Now come for me.” He increased the speed and intensity of his movements until it was too much. Her vision went dark and her walls clenched around his fingers that didn’t stop moving.

He went forward on the bed, gently removed his fingers from her and pressed a small kiss to her temple and held her in his arms as she tried to regain her composure. He wiped his fingers off on the side of his pants before he tangled his hand into her hair to give her a deep kiss.

“Wow...” She rested her head against chest as felt her body relax. Namjoon smiled at this and kissed the top of her head.

“We’re just getting started.” He let out a chuckle and smoothed down her hair. “Let’s take this off shall we.”

“You have to take off your stuff too, it's not fair.”

“I’ll do anything for you.”

He looked at her with a raised eyebrow as he saw she wasn’t wearing a bra and only underwear, “Did you want something to happen?”

“No-no...The dress looks weird with a bra so here I am...”

He gently pushed her down and he cupped her breasts making her back arched. She let out a deep sigh when he sucked down on one of her hardened nipples, then switched to the other. “You are so perfect, Y/N.”

She looked down at him and ran her fingers through his hair, “Joon, you're perfect.”

He loved her so much and he couldn’t believe that the universe gave him another chance with her. It’s always been her and now it will forever be her no matter what. The man who was content on settling was now seeing how wronged he was. He released her nippled and moved to her lips and slowly kissed her. She smiled into his kiss as she wrapped her hand around his neck to deepen the kiss. He leaned away and took one of her hands to put on his hardened member inside his boxers.

Her hands were shaking but she ignored it as she played with him shyly. “God, that feels good.”

He went towards her underwear and looked at her before he took it off. She nodded her head and he gently removed the underwear and she did the same for him. He was on top of her body and kissed her forehead before putting himself in.

“Fuck, you feel amazing, love.” He murmured in a lust fueled voice as his lips were against her ear making her shiver at how deep his voice was. “Are you okay?”

“It feels... so good.” She whimpered out as he saw the innocent look in her eyes as she said that.

“Fuck I love how you look at me like that, Y/N.”

“I’m just- Joon!”

He thrusted forward and she felt everything. She felt tears in the corner of her eyes at the overwhelming feeling. She watched his face the best she could as she felt him move in and out of her. She moved her hands onto his cheek and leaned forward to give him a quick kiss as he continued his movements.

“Joon...I’m...”

“It’s okay, love. You can let go.”

He encouraged her and kissed her neck softly as his hand fumbled between their bodies and started to rub her clit gently. It only took a few strokes against the bundle of nerves and the forceful thrusts to send her into a shaking mess. “I love you so much, Y/N. So tight for me.”

Her body was exhausted but his words gave her some energy as she started to lightly grind her hips with his thrusts, “Joon...You can come inside. I’m on the pill.”

He nodded his head in acknowledgement and was too close to his own climax to speak. Moments later she felt his sputter and his dick twitching inside of her as she felt the warmth. He leaned forward and kissed her one last time and he removed himself. She let out a small sigh as she felt him remove himself and she smiled at him gently as he grabbed a towel from the bathroom to wipe off the mess.

Once he was done he tossed the towel on the floor and grabbed her hand gently, “Should you go to the bathroom?”

“Let me gain my breath first, love.”

He grabbed his dress shirt from the floor and handed it to her. She gave him a kiss on the cheek and headed to the bathroom as he watched his future wife with love in his eyes.

After the night everything changed for Y/N and Namjoon’s lives. All their friends know about the engagement and she smacked Lydia for pointing out her hickey to everyone. Namjoon’s friends held a small party to celebrate the future and she learned a lot from them. Yoongi told her that everyday he would talk about her to them and how she would never like him. She thought it was funny that the man who was so confident with her at all times that the truth of everything was opposite. He was annoyed but she thought it was cute. After the proposal, she realized that she should let go of her dream for college when all she wanted was here but deep down she knew it was easier to say than do.

It's been a week since getting engaged and Namjoon was feeling all the confidence in the world. He just finished talking to his parents about his major and even though they were shocked they wanted him to be happy.

After a few minutes of silence, Namjoon looked up from his socks to his parents staring at him with no emotion.

“Omma, appa...”

“Namjoon, I figured.”

He looked up at his father with wide eyes, “What do you mean?”

His father let out a deep chuckle, “I know what my kids like. Contrary to popular belief, I pay attention.”

“Joon, we just want you to be happy.”

“I guess we wish you could’ve told us sooner.”

He shook his head at the sad look on his mothers face, “It wasn’t because of you guys. It was me, I wanted to make you proud and I guess my insecurities towards my talent with music got in the way and I blamed you guys for it.”

“Do what makes you happy son.”

His parents were excited to hear that Y/N accepted it and her parents showed up to congulated him. Her father gave him a hug and was happy that he loved his daughter with all his heart and was excited to get a son-in-law. He leaned his head against the window of the bus and couldn’t help but smile and he was sure the people around him were creeped out. When the bus stopped he got off and headed towards the history department to pick up Y/N.

As he saw the classroom come into view, he was shocked to see it empty. He took his phone out to make sure he didn’t miss out on a text from her but saw nothing. He was confused and walked out of the classroom to look around the lobby. He saw nothing and walked towards the front office to see if she was in there. He heard her voice and went to open the door but stopped when he heard the conversation.

“Yes-yes, I’m sure, professor.”

“Alright, I’ll tell the head director your decision. Make sure you email Cambridge that you declined them.”

“Thank you professor.”

“Good luck and your future Mrs. L/N.”

His eyes widened at this and it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what was going on. This whole time she was helping him figure out his dreams that he never asked about her dreams. He looked down at his shoes and shook his head with disappointment. He walked out the lobby and texted Y/N that he was grabbing lunch with Jin and would be late on seeing her. He dialed his number and let out a deep sigh out, “I need help.”

He waited in the park when heard footsteps coming towards him. He looked up to see Jin with a worried look, “Is everything alright? You hung up so fast I couldn’t ask you.”

“How would you react if the person you love has been helping you figure out your dreams and declined theirs in order to help you.”

“Dude, what are you talking-”

“Y/N, declined going to Cambridge.”

Jin’s wided at this and sat next to him, “How do you know this?”

“I overheard a conversation with her professor when I went looking for her...I’m a horrible boyfriend.”

“No you're not. It's hard to fix something when you weren’t aware of it in the first place.”

“But I didn’t ask either.”

“That’s true but what are you going to do? She already made the decision to stay with you, you can’t change her mind.”

Namjoon leaned forward and shook his head, “She told me to tell my parents about my music dreams when I asked her to marry me.”

“I’m going to tell you something...Sometimes you have to let people go in order for them to grow or find something they’ve been looking for. If they come back then that's wonderful for you and if they don’t then that's when you know the truth. I like Y/N, I really do but you can’t have her settle for one thing when she wants another thing.”

“I have a plan...”

Y/N was dressed in fancier clothes as today Namjoon told her that they were going to have a party with their parents. She was excited to see them and even more excited to show off her ring. She decided to wait till monday to send an email regarding her decision but she knew it would be for the best. The dress was just a simple white sweater dress that she topped with a trench coat for the weather. She quickly put her hair in a ponytail when she heard the doorbell and knew it was Namjoon.

She opened the door and saw his smile making her feel shy, “Hi, love.”

“You got everything?”

“Yeah, I’m excited to see your parents. It's been awhile.”

“It’s only been a week. Don’t be so dramatic.”

They got in the taxi as she kept looking at him trying to figure out what was wrong with him. He had this look in his eyes and she couldn’t figure it out. She leaned her head against her shoulder as he slowly turned his head to kiss her head. She snuggled her head closer to his shoulder as he stared at her.

When the car stopped she looked outside with a confused look, “Why are we at the train station? Are we meeting them somewhere?”

“Y/N... Let's get out of the car first.”

She nodded her head in confusion but took his hand to be out. She watched the taxi and she saw Namjoon giving her a frown, “You have a ticket at 4:30 and it's going to take you right to the airport where your parents will be waiting for you.”

“Why would they be there?”

“Because you're going to Cambridge and you're enrolled for the fall semester.”

Her face dropped and shook her head at him, “What are you talking about, Joon?”

“Y/N, I want to marry you so bad but the thought of you being stuck here because of me makes me sick.”

“Joon...”

He took her hands as he pushed some hair behind her ear, “Namjoon, I’m not going. I don't know how you found out but I’m-”

“You're going to be the historian I know you are but without me.”

She started shaking her head rapidly and looked away, “I’m not leaving without you. You are my dream, Joon.”

He shook his head and looked away from her face when he saw the small tears in her eyes threatening to escape, “You have to experience your dream before we can share the same dream, Y/N.”

“No, I’m not going.”

“Do you want to marry me? One-hundred percent?”

“Yes, I have loved you since I was in high school and I love you so much that I would give up everything.”

“That’s what I’m doing right now. I’m giving you up so you can experience your dream without me. I love you so much that I’m letting you go.”

She shook her head as she let go of his hand and covered her mouth to let out a small sob, “You can’t do this.”

“You don’t think I cried about this. I can’t let you waste your life because of me, I wouldn’t be able to look at myself in the mirror.”

“I want to be with you, please. Please don’t leave me.”

He looked away to avoid the tears that were now steaming down her face as he tried stopping his own, “Please Y/N, go do what I know you do best at. This is who you are, not just my girlfriend. You are the brilliant historian that is the tops of her class and gets the high grades because she's passionate about it. That is who you are.”

“I can be your wife too...”

He brought her into his chest as he felt her sob but he knew there was nothing he could do to stop it. He kissed the top of her head as he heard her say I don’t want to go. When he let go, he looked her in the eye and felt a small tear come down his face, “Promise me, you will become the historian that I know you are.”

“I promise...”

He took her hand and led her towards the train station as she let out loud sobs that hurt his heart. She saw all her friends waiting for her as she let out a louder sob. She hugged all of the guys and saw Namjoon’s parents looking at her with a smile.

“I’m so sorry-”

“Namjoon loves you so much that he’s willing to do this. Please no sorrys.”

She gave them a fake smile and moved on to Lydia who hugged her the tightest. Lydia was crying into her shoulder as Y/N was doing the same to her. When they backed away, Lydia pushed some hair back and kissed her forehead gently, “I’ll miss you and being your mom.”

“Don’t say that...”

When she saw Namjoon by the door waiting for her, she ran up to him as she wrapped her arms around his neck tightly. He held her as close as he could but nothing was making this easier for the both of them. She leaned forward to kiss him as passionately she could and she couldn’t care if people were watching them. When they both pulled away he held on to her hand before she let go to enter the train.

She sat down near the window and she looked outside to see all of her friends looking at her with big smiles but she couldn’t return it. She looked at Namjoon as she waved at her softly and she put her hand on the window as he waved. When the train started to move she looked forward to the sudden jerk. She looked back at him and saw him running with the train itself. She covered her mouth as her tears became harder and when he stopped running, she tried her best to look back at him but she couldn’t see him any more. She leaned against her chair as she took at her phone to text Namjoon,

“Promise me that you will become the best producer out there and you achieve everything you want. Promise me when you see the clouds you find comfort from them. Promise me when you close your eyes you see me, and finally promise me that no matter what you feel my touch even if I’m not there. I love you so much, please don’t forget me…”

Extended ending:

Y/N looked around the station and her eyes landed on a tall figure with a smile. She ran towards the figure as he opened his arms to her. She ran into his arms and felt his warmth again, something she missed after all these years. She looked up and saw the dimple smile she missed so much.

“Are we getting married now?”

“Y/N, you just got back.”

“I’ve been away from you for too long, I want to be your wife now.”

“If that’s what you want then I can’t say no because I feel the same way.”

They both leaned forward and kissed each other as she felt the warmth enter her body that she’s been missing all these years. When they pulled away she looked in his eyes, “Namjoon, I missed you so much.”

“I can say the same thing, love.”

#bts x reader #bts namjoon #bts seokjin #bts yoongi #bts hoesok #bts jimin #bts taehyung #bts jungkook #bts namjoon x reader #bts reactions #bts scenarios #bts imagines #bts fanfic #namjoon imagine #namjoon fanfic #bts smut

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jokertrap-ran · 3 years

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(未定事件簿) EVENT! 「眷然恋影」 [Tears of Themis] EVENT: Zuo Ran Birthday 2021- Days to Re-Live Forever (4.26: Birthday Celebration)

*Tears of Themis Masterlist / Mobile Masterlist *Spoiler free: Translations will remain under cut *Will also be filed under Zuo Ran’s tag #Tears of a Lawyer *The tracking tag for ALL Event Stories will go under: #Tears of an Event

4.18 / 4.20 / 4.22 / 4.24 / 4.26 Messages / Investigations / Call

On the day of Zuo Ran's birthday, I asked sister Zhao Xing for her help beforehand to arrange his schedule so that he got off work right on the dot.

And, using the reasoning of "The volunteers need more hands to finish setting up the set", I invited him to the Film Museum.

I explained what I did as a volunteer along our way there, doing my best to avoid the topic entirely, for fear that he'd pick up on my intent.

Very soon, we found ourselves at the Live-action Studio.

☆⋅⋆…⋅─────────── ⋆⋅✾⋅⋆ ───────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

Location: Live Action Studio

Zuo Ran: Is the place that requires help still up ahead?

MC: Yes. Soon. We'll be there soon, just a little more!

I did my best to suppress the nervousness that nagged at me, turning at the curb together with him up ahead before reaching a did. I knew that what laid behind the door was none other than the set that I'd painstakingly decorated.

▷Choice: Push the door open

Tugging at his hand, I took a deep breath and opened the doors.

☆⋅⋆…⋅─────────── ⋆⋅✾⋅⋆ ───────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

Location: Set

MC: Happy Birthday, Lawyer Zuo!

I cheered right as we entered.

Zuo Ran: You… This...

All we could see around us were the streets that gave off a foreign vibe, the light shining through the windows comforting and warm.

This was the set I chose— This was where Mary and Tim had their first date after he'd time travelled.

In the film, Mary stood in front of the shop's entrance after dinner, asking if Tim could see her off. This was also where their story had truly begun.

Be it the signboard atop the entrance, the hanging plants, or the colourful street decor, it all made people reminiscent of that one beautiful, destined night.

Zuo Ran: This is the Restaurant on the corner that Tim and Mary had their first date at?

MC: That's right, I knew you'd recognize it at a glance!

Of course, I'd also done a couple of adjustments to the set itself by adding a couple of birthday decor.

For example, the row of lights hanging from the roof, the colourful flags the spelled "Happy Birthday", and the many gifts stacked beside the coffee table.

And hidden among those gifts, was the "Collector's Edition: The World-wide Film Script Collection".

This made Zuo Ran, who'd remained calm and unfazed in the face of all that has happened, express a rare moment of surprise.

Zuo Ran: So, that's why you...

I knew that it was going to be hard to explain everything to him immediately, so I decided to sit him down first.

MC: Okay, okay, I know that you must have a truckload of questions; but first, have a seat and try the desserts and coffee that I made.

MC: I'll slowly tell you about the secrets of this place after that.

Zuo Ran: So, you recreated the scenes in the movie "About Time" because you saw how much I loved it…?

Zuo Ran's expression gradually grew fonder as he heard the reasoning behind how this set came to be.

MC: That's right! Besides, birthdays are meant to bring happiness to the birthday star, so obviously I'll have to choose the movie you love best!

Zuo Ran: Thank you.

He surveyed the surrounding decor, gently stroking the shop window beside him that had been fully decorated with plants.

Zuo Ran: Tim invited Mary away from the boring party, bringing her to this restaurant with a transparent window instead.

Zuo Ran: Here, they had dinner with each other, shared their most heartfelt sentiments, and walked along this path after.

MC: Yes, that's a classic, and very memorable scene!

Zuo Ran: Even the small chef miniature on the storefront looks almost exactly the same. I never thought that you'd manage to recreate even that— To such perfection.

MC: You'll have to thank the Film Museum for those. They were the ones who made replicas of the original; all I did was to exchange for them with the points I earned.

MC: Oh yes, I've got another special gift for you apart from all of these. That was one of the main reasons why I'd decided to become a volunteer in the first place.

I handed him a small booklet.

MC: This is what the guests of the Film Festival have said about "Robin".

After obtaining permission from the Film Museum, I picked out all the answers pertaining to Robin from the survey and bound it into a small booklet as a special gift for Zuo Ran.

And now, I was eagerly anticipating his reaction to this gift.

Zuo Ran: ……

He tensed a little at the mention of "Robin".

Zuo Ran: "Robin"? Why are you giving this to me?

MC: Well… I felt that "Robin" was different from the other Film Critics out on the net that you'd probably find a little distasteful.

MC: His reviews all give off a vibe similar to your own. So, I think you're… Probably acquainted with him?

Zuo Ran: So you're saying that you really like this guy?

MC: Yeah. I've reread all of his reviews a good many times now. The only unfortunate thing is that he never did share anything about his person, and neither did he leave any contact details.

MC: And even though the organizer wants to invite him for the closing ceremony if the Film Festival, they have no choice but to attempt contacting him through online means. Otherwise, I'd really have wanted to know his true identity.

I scrutinized his expression, trying to find any tells that he might show when trying to debunk my guess about his other identity. But who would have thought...

Zuo Ran: ... I'm Robin.

He'd admitted to it, unwavering, driving his point straight home.

MC: So.. Does this mean that you admit to it?

Zuo Ran: And I'm presuming from your reaction that you've already long since guessed it?

MC: Yeah, I did.

Zuo Ran: Sorry, I should have told you earlier.

MC: I probably guessed it back when I saw the picture of the shadow puppet that you sent out.

MC: And then, I slowly came to realize that you and Robin happened to coincide more and more frequently, so much that the answer to it all was pretty much already set in stone.

MC: This present is the reason why I specially added questions about Robin into the questionnaire, and also because I wanted to know a little more about you.

Zuo Ran: You're the first person...

Perhaps it was the trick of the light, but Zuo Ran's face had a faint red tint to it.

Zuo Ran: You're the first person to have gone through so much trouble for me. This present gives me innumerable joy.

MC: Yeah, I'm glad you like it...

His eyes appeared soft beyond words, unconsciously sucking me into it's enchanting depths.

Zuo Ran: It was never my intention to hide it from you, but I'd rather my Film Reviews to be just that; a pure and unhindered exchange of personal opinion.

Zuo Ran: And that might be harder to achieve if my real identity becomes associated with my identity as Robin.

Zuo Ran: ...I've always thought that I managed to keep it well under wraps since I've never let anything slip with my real life, and neither did I post any personal info.

Zuo Ran: Even acquaintances. It’s hard to find even a single connection between any of us even if you tried.

Zuo Ran: I never thought that you seriously re-read everything I wrote over and over again that many times...

MC: I just...

Zuo Ran: I suppose that’s why you’re probably the only person who’s capable of finding out my other identity.

MC: Don’t worry, Lawyer Zuo. I won’t tell anyone about your identity as Robin. Just treat it as our little secret, okay?

Zuo Ran: Okay. Our little secret.

Suddenly, he gently held my hand.

☆⋅⋆…⋅─────────── ⋆⋅✾⋅⋆ ───────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

Zuo Ran: Thank you for preparing so much for me, for my birthday.

Zuo Ran: Recreating a movie, preparing presents, carefully planning everything up till today… I really like this surprise of yours.

Zuo Ran: It is only thanks to you that I truly know now, what “Every moment in life brings innumerable joys” really means.

Zuo Ran: “Every day of our life is a journey in time. All we can do is to do the best we can to cherish this beautiful and wondrous journey of ours.”

That was the same exact line of the movie that he’d just murmured ever so softly.

MC: Isn’t that Tim’s final monologue on “About Time”?

Zuo Ran: Oh? You still remember it? He finally had an epiphany, realizing the value of an ordinary life after his countless journeys through time and space.

MC: I remember. He finally understood that time-travel was not the most important thing in the world; but what was most important, was for him to cherish everything he currently had,

Zuo Ran: That’s right. Even if living life like this will give birth to some regrets.

Zuo Ran: I watch this movie several times a year; and every time, I’ll get a new experience through these lines.

Zuo Ran: I too, once longed to Time-travel just like the hero; to change the past that could no longer be turned back in time.

Zuo Ran: But I don't think so anymore. Especially ever since I met you.

His ears were slightly red, but the sound of his voice that had reached my ears were firm and as clear as the day. I felt my cheeks warm.

MC: ……

Zuo Ran and I both immersed ourselves in the scene of the foreign street that we were in for a while. The night waxed, the colourful lights shining bright.

And he'dheld onto my hand throughout it all; across the stars and till the end of time.

☆⋅⋆…⋅─────────── ⋆⋅✾⋅⋆ ───────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

Location: Home

After the Film Festival had ended, the popular and renowned Film Critic among the masses, named "Robin", turned down the interview for the column and ended up not showing for the closing ceremony.

But he'd still heeded the organizer's request, releasing a long article to express his thoughts about the Film Festival and its many different movies.

I carefully read through this article; and unsurprisingly, I spotted a particular line.

"Every moment in life brings innumerable joys."

So, "All we can do is to do the best we can to cherish this beautiful and wondrous journey of ours.”

MC: (Yeah, I'll do my best to cherish what I have now too.)

My eyes lingered on this line for a long while, my lips curling into a knowing smile.

☆⋅⋆…⋅─────────── ⋆⋅✾⋅⋆ ───────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

Previous Part: (4.24: Exchanging Movie Reviews)

#Tears of Themis #Zuo Ran #左然 #Translations #Otome #Mihoyo #未定事件簿 #眷然恋影 #Days to ReLive forever #Zuo Ran 2021 Birthday #Tears of a Lawyer #Tears of an Event #weiding shijian bu #tears of themis translations

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lizacstuff · 3 years

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Hi! Your thoughts on the epi? How emotional was the ending? I also loved that the stories came full circle (Apollo and the little prince). With how much they were discussing the strawberry allergy, I knew it was a matter of time before an allergic reaction emergency would occur. Serkan is not perfect but honestly who's parents are? I'm glad he got the reassurance he needed from both Eda and Kiraz. I'm also glad the truth about Aydan and Kemal's five year relationship is out to Serkan.

My apologies in taking so long to answer this, but LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. For me, this was a very gentle, but very enjoyable episode of television. I think you'd have to go back to season one episodes 4,5,6 to find three episodes in a row that were as good as 43, 44, 45 (coincidentally episode 4,5,6 of the 2nd season). How delightful that cliffhangers in season 2 are emotional plot points for our dynamic duo, instead of the nonsense like falling off of boats or getting caught by a gunman while playing detective, or non-stop, third-party psycho trauma like we endured during 29-38.

The ending was very emotional! As you say, it was always a matter of time before the strawberry allergy played a role, they've mentioned it too many times this season for it not too. Here it played two roles, first putting Kiraz's life in danger thus cementing their burgeoning family unit AND being the genetic tie between three previously hidden generations. Potent stuff.

I was thrilled by all the domestic Edser in this episode. Outdoors, kitchen, living room, bedroom, kid's room, we got it all! I just loved the family time, and the sexual tension and the way they grew closer throughout the episode. I saw some criticism that they made no progress in this episode, but I disagree with that. Just because they didn't make out or have sex, doesn't mean they didn't progress. In this episode they went from being on opposite sides of a custody battle to agreeing to buy a car together, travel together, work together, not to mention having a romantic dinner together.

So buckets of progress was made, however, more on that later, first the supporting characters...

(more under the cut)

What a relief to have both Eda and Serkan treating Aydan and Ayfer as the meddling interlopers they are! Serkan wordless, furious glares were delicious, seriously I don't know how AA had the courage to stay in the house with him looking at them like that, he couldn't have been less welcoming. And Eda actually questioning her aunt about why she was there was a surprise. Of course Ayfer continues to be super punchable. I really, really wanted to hit her right in the face when she gloated over Kiraz calling him Serkan Bolat. Seriously, bitch? You know that's your grandniece, right? And you know that she must have some issues about her dad being absent from her life (which you are partially responsible for) so the fact that you're gloating that a man who was prevented from knowing he had a daughter (again, partially your fault) and a girl who was prevented from having a father (again, you bear some blame) have an emotional barrier in their relationship is beyond shitty. What happened to her personally that made her such a cynical asshole?

Aydan on the other hand is still annoying but she has her own problems, lmao. I'm dying because early in the day the episode aired, I said to both @echoapothecary and @melly326 that it was a shame that the show had decided to waste the potential of Sinan's resemblance to Kerem. I have been hoping they would do the Serkan father storyline since the moment the character was introduced, but the day I give up hope for it is the day it happens! I legit had no expectations that there was even a chance it could still happen.

Personally I'm excited, It's nice that the writers gave Aydan some cover, she didn't lie, she simply didn't remember they had hot baby-making sex back when she was having problems with Alptekin. Imagine what might have happened had she remembered at the time. If Aydan had come clean and left Alptekin, Serkan never would have been sent away, Aydan would have had the support she needed when Alp died and Serkan would have grown up loved. I hope Alptekin suspected the truth, because it would go a long way in explaining why he was such a shit-stain to Serkan his whole life.

It was obvious what direction the story was going from the conversation between Kemal and Aydan when he told her they'd "you know'd" that night, but I still let out a squeal when he revealed his strawberry allergy. Three generations of aversion to frangeria. Google tells me that severe strawberry allergy is rare so this really is an obvious flag they've been waving in front of everyone.

The story also dovetails nicely with Serkan's own journey with surprise fatherhood. We know he hasn't taken to Kemal, has been suspicious of him, however hopefully his own experience being kept out of his daughter's life will make him sympathetic to his newly found father.

Engin and Piril... were there. I can't tell you how much I don't care about Engin's out-of-the blue catering business, or Piril's suspicions. However, I did enjoy the 3 way family phone call, once again Can comes through with the right bit of info for Kiraz, he's definitely the most useful member of that family.

Pina and Kerem were also... in the episode. I did giggle when Asst Kerem admitted he was stunned into silence by Serkan's charisma. Tell me about it.

As for Melo, she stole the show among the supporting characters. Her heartbreak was palpable, but WHYYYYYYY did she have to fall for such a no-personality sad sack? Seriously, even drunk that guy is boring. Also why is he lurking outside Eda's house like a creeper, staring in windows? What does it take to get through to him? Serkan and Eda are following a court order and living together, they are in the process of making their first lunch together, you, sir, are not needed at their home for their first meal as a family. GIVE THEM SOME SPACE!

I really don't get what Melo sees in him. However her crush gave us the funny scenes with the mug turning red and also the heartfelt friendship scene with Eda. It's about time Eda is shown taking an interest in her life, it was really lovely how Melo got over the awkwardness of telling her and Eda was supportive and kind. Also hopefully it made Eda aware of the problems associated with not drawing hard boundaries for someone she knows has feelings for her. Draw the boundary, Eda.

As for Eda, she was a bit softer this episode, you could see Serkan getting to her. One of my favorite things about the episode was how Serkan was subtly planning their life together as a family, and Eda being swept away with the tide and going along with it. (gif set here) Family car? check. Family trip to Italy? Check. Sharing an office and working together at Art Life again? Check. Answering questions and giving preferences about one specific house Serkan is designing? Check.

This is significant because no matter that Eda still (understandably) needs time to forgive Serkan and to trust him with her (and Kiraz's) heart again, deep down she knows it's inevitable. She knows they're inevitable. There's no reason to seriously fight the inroads he's making into their life, because she knows he's going to succeed. In the deep recesses of her mind, she knows she's going to forgive him, and that they're going to be together, not just as co-parents to Kiraz, but as a very much in-love couple. However, she still needs a little time to get there. And that's okay. You don't erase five years of loneliness and heartbreak in a few days, nor should you try to. There's no reason for her to rush to let him back in her bed or into her heart, there's time for her to heal and for him to prove she can trust that he won't leave her again, even for noble reasons.

The bet was a clever way to extend their time living together. And I liked the detail that she was secretly so pleased to have him there, and still so attracted to him, but she knew she couldn't let him know because then it would be game over. He'd settle in and never leave. Not that I think she wants him to leave, she doesn't and that's what scares her. She clearly wants him, and wants him there, she got melty every time she looked at him with Kiraz, but she can hardly be blamed for needing to take it slow. That being said, while putting Kiraz to bed, I loved how Eda's plan to put Serkan on the hot seat completely backfired on her. Hee hee. She decided to tell Kiraz that they're being honest and to ask whatever she wants (that could have gone really wrong, by the way, if she asked if Daddy had really been in space) but daddy's-girl Kiraz immediately turns it back on Eda and wants to know if she loves Serkan Bolat and then sets them up in the same room. Good girl, Kiraz!

I immensely enjoyed the tension of Eda and Serkan sharing a room and sparring about which side they have to sleep on and OF COURSE they can only sleep facing one another. And OF COURSE Serkan migrated to the bed in the middle of the night. Funny how these two keep waking up all wrapped up in one another, almost like... they not only gravitate to one another, they also calm and comfort one another.

Once again, every scene between Edser and Kiraz was gold. I can't say enough how tiresome I usually find children on screen, but here I'm just delighted by her precociousness. Even her making a giant mess in the kitchen was endearing. As I said, I loved how much domestic Edser we got this episode. Them running around the kitchen with their daughter, having a flour fight? Pure delight. And I swear Maya Basol looks more like a mixture of Hande and Kerem than their own child would. It's simply uncanny.

Beyond their domestic scenes, it was lovely to see them both just falling back into a spot where their lives were intertwined. Loved Serkan driving her to work at the hotel, and then driving her home again when she quit. Not to mention how supportive he was, I'm not sure how she didn't either jump him right then and there or start crying in relief, when he was telling her she has the talent to be doing bigger more prestigious jobs and now that he was here to help she could do it. Eda's had support in raising Kiraz from Ayfer and Melo, but they really don't understand her career. Serkan understands. He is the life partner she's been missing.

Eda and Serkan seem to be on the same page as far as their families interference, being annoyed at both Ayfer and Aydan, I'm glad to see neither trying to defend mother/aunt to the other. Eda also seemed annoyed by Serkan moving his office to her house for the day, and she made several inferences, as she's been doing, about him putting work first. This is completely understandable, IMO. He left her on their wedding day for work, and he used "work is the most important thing to me" as the reason both times he broke her heart. Yes, after the fact, she found out that there were other, much bigger reasons and work was just the excuse, however that doesn't erase her deep-seated, pavlovian-like response she has to him seeming to prioritize work. She lived five years, raising their child alone, thinking he loved work more than her. It's completely natural that she's holding onto that for a bit. And it's okay if he needs to prove to her that he can prioritize her and Kiraz over work before she lets it go completely. I get it.

As I said, I enjoyed Serkan trying to trap her with the mood mug, that's the kind of gentle friction and comedy I'm here for. Of course he does catch her later on the phone admitting that she loves that he's there and it's game, set, match. For Serkan. I think we're all glad he won that bet. However, him removing his bed on the floor was a bold move and he pretty much deserved her locking him out after he did it. I read a lot ridiculous discourse on this, and my response is: you're taking this show too seriously again. This is a romcom move, it was done for comedy, and I promise you Serkan is able to fend for himself. If he didn't want to be kicked out, he shouldn't have tried to force his way into her bed again. Waaaaay presumptuous, man.

Buuuuut... how did Serkan get off the balcony? I don't know, but as I said he can fend for himself. Dude probably spent the night on the living room couch. Serkan's sneezing was cute, but being cold doesn't give you a cold. Maybe it's an allergy from too much time outdoors, lol. LOVED Serkan smoothly convincing Eda to come back to the office. If he'd approached that directly, it might have been a weeks long endeavor to get her to make ArtLife her office, but Serkan building the play school was genius! He never wastes time, that guy. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but this was impressive.

It warmed my heart how they fell so easily into working side by side. Casual conversations about what they were working on, and, you know, randomly deciding to go on a family trip to Italy with your estranged lover, as you do. Which all led to one of my favorite scenes... dinner! They got back to honest, open communication and it was lovely. Thankfully, Eda stopped letting him think she was running off to spend time with Burak and I adored Serkan coming clean and allowing himself to be vulnerable in admitting that he'd made the dinner for them and that he'd been upset when she didn't show. That's how you make progress. Just beautiful.

As for the "we need to all tell the truth" scene, that was silly, but if it gave us Aydan's secret being revealed I'm a-okay with it. About time! Buba was once again annoying and it was cathartic for Serkan to be able to tell him he doesn't like him. Same, Serkan. Seriously, can he and Ayfer fall in love and move to the country to run an Alpaca farm or something? The hospital scene was very poignant, I wrote more about it here. Now what I need is for Eda and Serkan to walk out of that hospital room and, out of relief, fall into the tightest hug. Crossing fingers!

#Sen Çal Kapımı #Sen Cal Kapimi #edser #sckask #edser discussion #sck episode discussion #sckedit #you knock on my door #asklizac

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orionsangel86 · 4 years

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I have decided to start trying to catch up with Season 15 before the finale, as I quit after 15x11 The Gamblers which I thought was a generally stupid and boring episode. It also happened to air around the time a lot of rumours were spreading and negativity around Cas’s arc was spreading so it was around then that I decided to just distance myself to protect myself from the show.

Anyway. I finally decided to pick up where I left off. I have just recently watched episodes 12 and 13. OMG. I missed out. These episodes are both absolute GOLD and a thousand times better than the two previous episodes (because as much as the meta commentary of 15x10 is fantastic the episode itself was a cringefest that I couldn’t actually stomach).

15x12 was a rich and layered narrative cleverly crafted by Bobo and Meredith which wrapped up some important plot points. It brought back Kaia, thus resurrecting its first queer character, and set in motion a world of fanfiction where Kaia and Claire can reunite and live happily ever after (seriously the Destiel parallels alone are worth the watch - or should I say Destiel foreshadowing!!!) It allowed Cas and Jody to FINALLY meet and have a heartfelt conversation about Claire which really touched me. It barely covered up Bobo’s anger at the cancellation of Wayward Sisters by the network (Chuck’s monologue could have come from a CW executive lbr) and it was generally an enjoyable episode to watch.

15x13 surprised me even more. For a Bucklemming episode it was a really good (if crowded) story which had me laughing out loud at certain moments. The scenes set in the Empty are an eye opener for me though, because the emphasis on the angels and demons suffering through all their regrets just makes me even more certain that this is not Castiel’s fate. It would be unjustly cruel of the writers to make this so clear when previously we only knew that the Empty was a place of eternal slumber, not eternally suffering through your biggest regrets like a version of Hell. (It does kinda remind me of the Hell of the series Lucifer where people create their own Hell based on the guilt in their souls). If this was truly the place that the writers were intending to send Cas to permanently, then why didn’t they just leave it as the place he gets to sleep, in peace. If it was truly his planned ending, then they would have made clear that the Empty was a form of “Heaven” for angels and demons. Eternal slumber, eternal peace. Like ceasing to exist. “They’ll be peace when you are done.” which would have at least softened the blow for Cas’s endgame. But Nope. They have instead chosen to further raise the stakes and make the Empty into an actual Hell type place. This is not what the Empty was before.

Why would they do this? Because raising the stakes before the ending is what you do. Because it’s always darkest before the dawn, and whilst Castiel went out happy, anyone following the show will know he is now stuck in a place of unjust suffering. This is the kind of last minute thing you pull to MAKE the audience care MORE. To make them WANT Cas to be saved. It’s classic storytelling 101. Its another fucking trope. No writer is going to send one of their lead characters to Hell for their endgame. Because no audience ever is going to accept that. If the Empty had remained a neutral sleeping zone, then I could have somewhat believed it. But now? It’s just not happening.

I’m still not 100% up to speed on the story, having still got to watch episodes 14,15,16,17 and 18, but this episode alone makes it clear to me that the message weaved into this particular plot point, is that the Empty is NOT Castiel’s final resting place.

Fingers crossed we at least get some hints at this being the case in tonights episodes.

#supernatural #castiel #destiel #adding that tag because it might as well be added now #since castiels endgame is basically destiel #spn meta #15x12 #15x13 #spn endgame #spn speculation

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sirloozelite · 3 years

Text

A Review of SWTOR

So, not too long ago, a pair of friends (frenemies more like) of mine were playing SWTOR... and suffice to say they would not shut up about it. I’d always been aware of the game in the back of my mind, but it had never really appealed to me. MMO’s don’t really, as I would always be worried about random players sticking their nose in whilst I was trying to keep to myself.

Still, my friends would not shut up about it, and they kept recommending it to me, despite my internal aversion to it. Now, considering that they had both foolishly taken my advice on games to play in the past, I decided to return the favour and give SWTOR a chance.

And boy was I glad I did. Is SWTOR a good game? Yes... and no... and yes. It’s not perfect, it’s got problems, but it’s still a lot of fun, and I’m glad I’ve done at least one playthrough of the game.

Upon loading up I of course had to choose what storyline I wanted to follow. Since both of my buddies had gone Jedi Knight, (though I’d argue that a certain someone made their Jedi about as deplorable as Anakin) I decided to be the awkward one and went Sith Inquisitor instead, and honestly... I think I chose perfectly!

Oh and... for those interested... here is my Inquisitor:

His name is the Sixteenth Brother! What’s his backstory? Well... that depends on who you ask! Some say he’s the 16th sibling of a Zabrak family... others say he chose the name to hide his true one. Some even say he’s a time traveller from a distant future sent back in time after accidentally finding a Sith relic in his time. Whatever the truth is matters little. All that matters is that he was great fun to play as.

Oh and for the record, this review is based on a Free To Play experience and completion of the class storyline only. I’ve not touched the expansions yet, but intend to at some point. Any criticisms I have that are solved by subscribing are a moot point. Furthermore, it goes without saying but all of the below is my own opinions of the game. Doesn’t make them right or wrong.

The Good

There are many good things about SWTOR, almost too many to name. That said, there are some things I’d like to highlight.

The Story

The first and foremost best thing about the game is of course, the story. Being a Bioware written game created at the same time as the Mass Effect trilogy, I expected a good story... and I was not disappointed by the tale of the Sith Inquisitor. It was the standard tale of a protagonist coming from lowly origins, in this case a slave, and advancing up the ladder of society. Nothing too revolutionary, but add in the Sith and the Empire and it was made all the more better. Frequently, poor 16th Bro would get hounded for being an alien, and each and every time he’d beat the odds, and then usually show mercy to those who had insulted him. (I played him mostly light side... though there were a few times I surrendered to the dark and zapped people)

The world building within the story was also top notch. Plenty of detail is hidden away in the codex, much like Mass Effect, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t stuff in the actual gameplay and story as well. I’d never really been a legends fan, and whilst I’m still not, I do see why a lot of people love these sorts of stories. I was invested, and that’s what mattered.

Outside of the Sith Inquisitor, the very fact that there are seven other unique storylines and classes to play, as well as heavy character customization and role play more than make the game worthy of revisiting. There is a little bit of something for everyone it seems.

The Characters

Another great strength of Bioware games is usually it’s characters, especially the protagonists companions. I can happily report that, at least for the Sith Inquisitor, the vast majority of the characters in the story were great.

The three standout characters outside of the Inquisitor to me were Khem Val, Ashara Zavros and Talos Drellik.

That’s not to say that Andronikos, Xalek, Zash and Thanaton weren’t good characters either, I just didn’t enjoy them as much as Khem, Ashara and Talos.

Each character felt like they had their own arc. Khem Val growing to accept you as a Master and true successor to Tulak Hord was great, even if he and 16th Bro were constantly disagreeing about 16th’s methods. Despite his dislike of the decisions, I still sided with him when the time came to choose who got to control his body for good.

Ashara going from “I’m a Jedi and I won’t go against my teachings!” to “Peace is a lie!” was good development as well. I understand that some people don’t like this character much, but she was my go to companion most of the time. She’s not quite a Sith, but not quite a Jedi either, and that made for a perfect companion for the 16th Brother, as he was hardly a model Sith either.

As for Talos... well... he’s an archaeologist and a historian... and I’ve got a degree in history... so of course I was going to love him! Plus he was eccentric as all hell and added a nice voice of humour to the crew. His personal story about him trying to find his old mentor and carry on his legacy was heartfelt too.

As for everyone else, I was invested in their characters, don’t get me wrong, just not as much as the others. Both Zash and Thanaton were good villains that I took pleasure in ending, and Andronikos and Xalek got their fair amount of use on the field and in the ship. Everyone was friends at the end after all.

The Voice Acting

The other good point I’d like to highlight is the voice acting, particularly that of the male Sith Inquisitor. I’ve heard people say the female voice is better, but for my experience the male Inquisitor was the perfect match of sass and sarcasm. It made every scene with him in enjoyable to watch. RPG games were a single protagonist can get a bit boring sometimes. Commander Shepard suffers from this in Mass Effect at times. I never got that feeling with the Inquisitor though. He was hilarious from the second he stepped off the shuttle on Korriban and sassed Overseer Harkun (who I totally zapped to death) to the moment he took his seat on the dark council with a surprised Pikachu look on his face.

So yeah... super credit to Euan Morton for making the Inquisitor the dark master of sass and sarcasm!

Outside of the Inquisitor, I can say that all the other VA’s did a great job too. I can’t think of any character that had particularly bad voice acting off the top of my head.

Other Good Stuff

Outside of the three things I mentioned, SWTOR also has plenty of content to offer for everyone. If you want to do main missions, sure! Side quests? Sure! Space combat missions? Yep! Whatever you fancy, it’s there. There is no shortage of content to enjoy for hours on end, even as a Free To Play player like I was.

The Bad

And now to most likely upset some people... sorry about that, but no game is perfect, and SWTOR has some flaws that could put people off playing it. This stuff is by no means a game breaking deal for me, but it did annoy me and I felt like it needed addressing.

The Game is Tedious

My biggest complaint is that at times, usually after an hour of playing, the game can become tedious and boring to play! There were times it felt like a chore honestly, and I hate saying that because SWTOR is a good game.

The main reason for it feeling so tedious though comes down to how you move around the maps. When you can, fast travel is your best friend and can save a lot of time, however, not everywhere has a fast travel point near it.

This is where speeders come into play. You can buy one for a reasonable amount of credits, and they are faster than walking for sure, but not by much.

The problem with the speeders is that it is so easy to get shot off of one by one of the random enemies you are trying to drive past (and believe me there are hundreds of them!) that is becomes aggravating to move around the map from objective to objective. Avoiding enemies isn’t hard for sure, but sometimes you have to go right past them, and after hours of fighting enemies it can get a bit tedious being shot off your speeder in one shot just because you didn’t want to waste time fighting an enemy. Once you hit your level cap, fighting random enemies is pointless after all.

Maybe that’s just me though. I’d personally make the speeders a bit more durable. One tiny shot shouldn’t disable your speeder. Heavy fire... sure! Doesn’t help that sometimes you can tank a bunch of shots on your speeder and escape without being knocked off, but then on another occasion you’ll be knocked off by a sneeze.

Either way, movement around the maps can get annoying as all hell, but at least the scenery is pretty.

The Planets

Now don’t get me wrong, I like all the planets I went to... mostly... and my issue isn’t with the planets in general.

It’s with how bloody long it takes to complete them all.

The Story Arc quest lines for each planet can take forever sometimes and they end up going on a bit too long if you ask me. Alderaan and Hoth are the two that come to my mind the most. It felt like I spent weeks on those planets driving back and forth between areas to do simple tasks for little reward. Plus the sheer number of side quests didn’t help. I stopped doing everything that wasn’t a story or Arc quest once I hit Hoth!

Don’t get me wrong, I like side quests for sure... I just don’t like them to drag on forever! In a lot of ways, SWTOR reminds me of Mass Effect Andromeda. That game too also had side quests that went on forever.

My one piece of advice to nay new players for SWTOR would be to ignore the side quests and focus solely on your class story quests and planet Arc quests instead. If you try and do everything, you’ll burn yourself out quickly. Unless you are a completionist of course. In that case go nuts! XD

Other Bad Stuff

Aside from my two big gripes above, which are honestly minor in reality, the only other issues I really have with the game are the boring side objectives in some missions. Nine times out of ten they equate to ‘kill a bunch of dudes’. They are easy enough to complete, as you’ll be killing things anyways, so you don’t really need to put any real thought into completing most of them. They just feel tacked on and rather pointless honestly.

The Ugly

And now the ugly stuff. This is stuff that is between good and bad. Bad as in they annoyed me, but good as in I understand why others like them or they improved over time.

The User Interface

Oh god the UI! When I first started the game it was so overwhelming! Pop-ups everywhere! Hundreds of tabs and side bars and tutorial boxes being spammed my way. It was not friendly to a new player who had literally just jumped in. If I hadn’t played games like Civ or XCOM in the past I might not have been able to cope with how much stuff was going on at once.

Luckily, after a few hours of play, I began to understand the UI a bit more and became comfortable with it. I knew what was where and what did what, as well as what I didn’t need. (any PvP stuff for example) Plus the ability to edit the interface to your own liking helped a lot as well, so it wasn’t a complete lost cause, just overwhelming at first.

Flashpoints and Heroic Missions

So, these missions are designed to be played with other players online, clearly. They can be done solo, but they take forever to do so. Endless hordes of high HP enemies, including even higher HP boss fights is not that entertaining to me, and thus very quickly became boring to me. Artificial difficulty in a way. Plus if you do die, it ain’t half a pain in the ass to get back to where you were, only to find that boss that had 5% health left when it killed you is now back to 100%.

I gave up doing these sorts of missions and have no intention of returning to them unfortunately, which is a shame as some of the flashpoints have actual important story content in them.

Still, if unlike me you actually have friends to help you with these, then I get why you like them, and more power to you. I just don’t enjoy them much.

The Soundtrack

And now to really upset some people. Look... I like John Williams music scores as much as the rest of the fandom does. That said, there were places in SWTOR where it showed up and really really did not work! It almost felt like the game was just spamming random iconic tracks that sort of fit the scene, but really didn’t.

The biggest one for me that didn’t work was the final duel against Darth Thanaton in the Dark Council Chambers. During the cutscene between the two fighting, the music started on ‘The Final Duel’ from ROTJ when they were fighting, and they suddenly it shifted to the theme from Padmés funeral when Thanaton was overpowered! I mean, I get what they were going for with the music, but the sudden shift between tracks was unceremonious and didn’t work. If they were going to use licensed movie music then they should have just chosen one track and stuck with it rather than jumping between two!

Furthermore, to me those themes were written for specific scenes in their respective movies, and thus were created to fit those scenes, not random SWTOR scenes. If anything, the entire scene should have had it’s own score written for it rather than just reuse movie tracks instead!

That said, whenever the game does use original music that isn’t from the movies, it’s fine! The ambient background for the planets is great, Alderaan’s especially, and I hated that planet! They clearly had the talent of music directors to write Star Wars sounding music, so I don’t fully get why they didn’t just go with original music all the way rather than just reuse John Williams music instead. I don’t know if they didn’t have enough money or something. If that was the case then I’d understand.

So yeah, the music is a 50/50 for me. The original music is great. The movie music is still great, it’s just not used right.

Other Ugly Stuff

WASD controls. They aren’t game breaking, but I’m not a great fan of them. They make my wrist hurt. I adapted, like I did with the UI, so it’s not really a big issue, but I know it could put one or two people off playing it.

Another minor gripe is a consequence of the game being an RPG within an MMO. Other players are running around, often doing the same objectives as you. They can steal your objectives before you, forcing you to wait around for them to respawn so you can do them yourselves. Luckily there is usually other stuff to do in the meantime, and the re-spawn timer is smallish, so it’s not a huge problem. Just an unfortunate consequence.

Conclusion

So... would I recommend playing SWTOR to people? Yes! I would. It’s a good game, even with it’s flaws. I had a lot of fun running through the Sith Inquisitor’s storyline, and I learnt a lot about the game for any future playthroughs I do. I know what to expect now and what to stay away from, so hopefully whatever class I choose to do next will be full of less annoying little things.

That said, considering how long it took me to do the Inquisitor’s story, I feel like I’m gonna need a serious break before I can play another class. I was almost burnt out when I finished the Inquisitor, and I’ve still got the two free expansions to go!

So yeah... all in all, SWTOR is a good game,. I’d recommend it, and I’m glad I gave it a fair chance. It’s not in my top 10, but it’s one to return to. :)

So, if you’ve ever thought about trying out SWTOR before but were apprehensive about it, then I’d encourage you to give it a shot. It is free after all! Unless you subscribe. But you can at least try it for free! Bonus I say! XD

#swtor

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maybecoolwords · 4 years

Text

Not Enough ..

Pairing: Erik Stevens x plus size!reader

Word count: 2 192

Summary: Owning a company and working for it is not easy, but with a special someone by your side, it can become bearable. But what if that special someone ends up making it harder than it already is ?

Warnings: A little bit of Angst and then more fluff.

A/N: Hey guys, ever since I started reading fanfic, I’d rarely find any fanfic where the reader is the ceo, and those are actually some of my favourites to read. I’ve always wanted to write a fic where the reader is a strong independent woman, not that those don’t exist I actually read plenty of them, and I got recently inspired by @jalapenobarnes ‘ amazing series Sweet Life, except that I wrote this one-shot for Erik Killmonger instead of Bucky Barnes. I hope you guys like this one, and I recommend you read Sweet Life because it’s honestly one of my favourites.

The light of your laptop in front of you just blended with the sunlight breaking through your curtains. It’s a normal office day, except, it wasn’t so normal..

You’re sitting on your office chair. A black large chair, matching perfectly with your black large desk. You sat there for the past 92 minutes, since eight A.M to be exact, just thinking. The sound of the clock on the left wall was the only noise in the room. Or rather.. office. Your eyes are lost and a little puffy from all the crying you did during the previous night. Your right hand over your mouth, picking at your lips, a bad habit you just can’t seem to get rid of no matter how hard you tried. After all, it only happens when you’re deep in thought or concerned about something. You sat there just staring aimlessly at your windows, thinking…

The sound of your phone machine sounded through the room, now adding much more noise to the previously slightly calm environment you isolated yourself in for the past 94 minutes.

You were calm at first, you knew exactly who it was. He always calls on the same exact time every day he wasn’t visiting you at the office, that’s why you asked your assistant months ago to always forward his calls to your machine, no exceptions. Simply because you miss him, even if you’ve seen him that same morning when he begged you over and over to just stay in bed and take the day off..

But today, he has been calling your own phone nonstop, but since you kept ignoring his calls, he decided to call your office. His actions of the night before were the exact reason you found yourself so unproductive and just tired this morning.. Tired of thinking of him, of trying to find a way to justify his choice of words. And especially tired of repeating that same exact scene over and over again …

You’re standing at the bar, with a fresh drink in your hand, just enjoying the classy tunes the string ensemble are playing, but also watching everyone at the event. You’ve always liked to see how everyone showed their fakest smiles just to hide their deep insecurities.

Your eyes suddenly land on the one man you really wanted to be standing next to. Except, he wasn’t alone. Erik was talking with a woman and a man, and it seems to be a casual conversation, possibly about work, since that’s what GALAs are secretly meant for.

You were starting to get really bored standing there alone. To be honest, you brought that on yourself after having dismissed any man who came looking for a hot date. Well who can blame you; you only have eyes on one man… The one who didn’t bother to come looking for you after having ditched you when you first stepped into the room.

After you finished your drink, you decided to go to him. The bright red strap dress you’re wearing hugs your curves perfectly, which ultimately attracts everyone you walk by, and the high slit on your left leg that reached your thigh was just the perfect amount of revealing you’re looking for (mind the cleavage, because your body is an artwork). The men who publicly act like they’re repulsed by having a woman battle in their field are secretly lusting over you, and that just added more to your confidence. And the women in that same field are constantly cheering for you to go on, reminding you that woman power is stronger.

Unfortunately, your lovely dress was also making it kind of hard for you to breath because of how tight it is, hence why you chose to stand during the remaining of this super important charity GALA your best friend decided to throw.

Once you reached your boyfriend.. Or was he really your boyfriend? You don’t know. Each time you try to bring that subject up, Erik just decides to play a little dirty (which you don’t mind) you just end up forgetting about the whole ordeal. Does he do it intentionally or not, you didn’t figure that out yet.

But once you reach Erik, he turns quietly around with a charming – only for work – smile on his lips. He turns fully around, but once his eyes land on you, his beautiful smile vanishes, and his hand quickly tugs yours off of his shoulder.

«Sweetheart, I was waiting for you for the past thirty minutes, where have you been?» You asked in a tone just loud enough for the old (well, not really old) couple and Erik to hear.

«Oh, do you two know each other?» Asked the older man before taking a sip of his drink.

«Well-

«No, not really-» Erik was quick to cut you off, which immediately set your eyes on him, just waiting to hear what he has to say. «-Our companies had a project together a year ago and that was it, strict professionally based acquaintance.» Added Erik whose attention is now solely focused on the older couple in front of you.

«Oh, well, that’s what these GALAs are made for isn’t it? » Started the older man again. «Just to know your work colleagues on a more personal level, right? » He said with a chuckle at the end.

Your eyes never left Erik, you’re so shocked by his words and his calm demeanour that you just couldn’t feel anything else, other than betrayal and… hurt. And he just stood there, sipping on his scotch and a smug grin tugging at his lips. His proud stance makes you sick; you just want to leave that room.

«Excuse-me. » You said after it suddenly got harder to breathe, and walked away. Once you reached the exit doors, you felt the first tear of the night go down your cheek. You took a left turn on the long corridors and you started running. You didn’t want to give any of those unworthy people the satisfaction of seeing you cry over whatever reason. So you kept running, ignoring the calls of your name coming from the same guy behind your sadness.

That was until you reached the limo you came in, and quickly got in with the help of your driver, sparing Erik a simple glance his way before the driver speeds away, just to show him how hurtful his words were – are.

«Darling? »

His smooth voice broke you out of the trance you were is for the past few minutes. During that time, Erik managed to come into your office without you noticing him. He stood at the corner of your desk. His phone in hand, still calling your office phone number for what could be the thousandth time. He then reaches for the annoying machine and shuts it up, making the room go back to it’s previous silence.

«Were you just not gonna answer the phone ?» Erik’s smooth voice could almost make you jump over to him and give him a heartfelt hug, but that was the key word - almost. « What if it someone important was calling ?»

«I’m not in the mood to answer any calls.» Your hoarse voice was proof enough of how tired you are this not-so-fine morning. Your thumb and middle finger were massaging the sides of your forehead for a while until you took them away to get a good look at Erik, but never once looking him in the eyes. You just watch him sigh and look down at his shoes in shame and disappointment, not in you, but in himself. You’ve always been good at reading him, even if he isn’t such an open book. As for him, he knows exactly why you’re so calm.

«Baby look-»

«Don’t call me that.» You cut him off before he could manage to get another word out. You said it so calmly and quietly that he almost couldn’t hear it. He’d say he’s surprised of your calm demeanour if he didn’t know he was the reason behind it, but he’s guilty, and he knows he is.

«Y/N, I said what I said last night for a good reason, just please hear me out.» He sighed, «I didn’t say anything about us being a thing because we’ve never had a proper discussion about it, and I just ...» Once he heard your giggle, realizing you’re not paying attention to what he was saying, he stopped himself. «Baby, come on.» He added.

«I think I finally figured out why you always love for us to sneak around.» You chuckled. Your eyes looking at his for the first time. You finally decided to get up and get closer to him. «Never sitting next to each other during press conferences, ditching me at every party we go to together, never once going on ANY date, unless of course consider sex in my house or yours a date; God knows I don’t.» You screamed at him.

Once you’re only inches away from him (and seconds away from punching him), you took a few breaths and headed towards your floor to ceiling glass windows. That beautiful view really does help calm you down.

You’ve never once raised your voice at him. Because you just aren’t that kind of a woman. You always liked to solve any problem you two faced in your relationship without resolving to screaming matches. But seeing you lose your cool behaviour for the first time proved how truly hurt you are, and it’s another stab in the heart for him.

«Look -», You said again still looking away, «- I know I’m not the kind of girl any guy would wanna show off to the world, and I get it, trust me. But knowing that you’re so ashamed of me that you wouldn’t admit just to knowing me.. That hurts.» Your voice broke at the end, and that’s when you felt your not so first tear of that morning, falling down your cheek. «No matter how successful I can get, my body still stands in my way to find love.» You added, and just when you reach your hand to wipe it away, Erik’s already beat you to it.

«Don’t you EVER say that again.» He said in a broken voice, showcasing a little of his own broken heart. He held your hand, and cupped your cheek using his other hand. «Baby please look at me.» He’s literally begging you at this point but he doesn’t care, his main and only concern right now is not to lose you over such a petty subject. He’s already beating himself up for making you cry, and worse, for making you feel so insecure about yourself. He just can’t tolerate the concept of you having these ridiculous thoughts about him being embarrassed of you or your relationship.

«Baby I’m so sorry for what I did last night, but I promise you that I didn’t mean to make you feel this way.» He started when you looked at him in the eyes for the first time today (and hopefully not last). With those watery doe eyes you have, and that cute little pout on your lips, he just couldn’t help falling in love with you even more. «Baby I know I’m a real asshole for what I said yesterday, and honestly, I don’t even deserve you allowing me to touch you right now... Sweetheart you’re the most wonderful thing to ever happen to me, and I don’t plan on losing you anytime soon. I did what I did last night because I didn’t want those entitled people to think that you’re so successful today because of me, I wanted them to know that you’re independent and capable on your own self darling. I don’t want them to mock you or even think of disrespecting you in anyway. I thought I was in some way protecting you from those monsters.»

Hearing those pet words come from him again gave you such a warm feeling. And honestly, his explanation did make sense to you. In his own way, he was protecting you and you’re happy and unbelievably grateful to have such a sweet person by your side. You finally let a little grin break on your face, and seeing you smile again made him smile too. In a genuine moment you just grabbed his face a landed a quick peck on his lips before you said : «I love you, so much.»

«I love you too, so much more.» He answered before grabbing your face back, in a desperate attempt to feel your lips on his again. His lips brushed yours, in the softest way possible, not at all rushed, going as fast or as slow as you allow him. You just wanted to feel the warmth of his skin on yours, before your assistant comes stumbling in. It was after a little while that you both had to pull away, out of breath.

“So, are you ready to go public, miss Y/L/N?” Asked Erik, still holding you tight in his arms.

“As ready as I’ll ever be, Mr. Stevens.”

#Erik killmonger x Reader #black!reader #erik stevens x reader #plus size!reader #Erik Killmonger #michael b jordan #michael b jordan x reader #black panther #ceo!reader #fluff #fanfic

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floofshake · 4 years

Text

슬기로운 의사생활. Hospital Playlist.

Thought I'd share my thoughts on this one. I've been wanting to write about it for so long.

As an avid reader, I grew up enjoying the sequences of words instead of movie scenes. A few years ago, I wouldn't have seen myself enjoying dramas; I'd simply shrug and turn to my book again, basking in the action and adventure it offers. Books contain a lot more than movies, and I'd simply be too lazy to finish a series - to me they'd be too long and unsatisfying.

Over the years, I slowly grew accustomed to going on journeys through the screen. I've watched a lot of movies in the past few years, though notably I've only finished a few series. I'd usually start an episode, but if recaps are available online, I'd find myself searching and reading them to get closure from the story. I'd then abandon that series - too long, too boring, not my style. This happened a few times, even as I was introduced to the wonderful kdrama scene. Understandably, korean dramas began to get famous; they had breathtaking cinematography, good plot development, heartfelt acting, and beautiful soundtracks.

Despite their charm, some korean dramas didn't quite make the cut for me. I didn't want to invest too much time for fear of disappointment. Granted, I finished a few which I enjoyed and binge-watched, but I was still looking for something - a drama that would make a mark and stay with me for the years to come.

I had nothing in mind when I was searching for something to watch, and then I stumbled upon hospital playlist. I was getting accustomed to the quarantine life, looking for something to pass the time. I wasn't particularly drawn in by the actors in this drama; I actually can't remember how I found it and why I decided to watch it. Thinking back to that day, I remember enjoying the episode and deciding to watch the next episode the day after. However, I soon found out that the first episode was released a few days ago, and the next one wouldn't be released as soon as I wanted it to be. But hey, I waited. Next thing I knew, it was Thursday again, and a new episode was out.

Gradually, the series grew on me. I'd soon find myself researching a bit on the actors' background, looking for behind-the-scenes videos, and more. I would soon look forward to Thursday, wishing that it would come sooner. And when I had the next episode in my hands, I'd watch it and cherish each scene - and it would always deliver.

I wondered why the series grew on me that way - was it because of the show's focus on a band? Maybe. Was it because of the actors' chemistry? Could've been a factor. Was it because of the interesting medical cases? I think it helped. Or was it because of the setting, which contained the stories of patients and doctors alike? Could be.

Regardless of the reason, I kept watching it, and my love for the series grew. A day after the finale, I finally realized why it grew on me so much.

I feel like I've gained a group of friends. In these trying times where social interactions are kept at a minimum, or in my case, nil, I've been exposed to a realistic journey of life and friendship. I've laughed while watching it, and it felt as if my own friends were the ones making the jokes and comedic actions. I've cried, as if I was the one experiencing the struggles of the patients and doctors. I've learned a lot, as if I was the one responsible for their decisions. During the time where my life seemed like it was at a standstill, this series helped me experience the joys and sorrows of our journeys as people - despite not being that of my own. The intertwining of their experiences helped me relive that of my own and other people's experiences; the stories were realistic and heartwarming. As someone who enjoys the little things and the intricacies of life, this series was a gem. It was a beautiful piece of storytelling. So even if I have to wait a year for the second season, I know it'll be worth it. After all, this series made me wait for Thursday for three months. Of course I'd do it all over again for all those experiences. ❤️

See you soon, Hospital Playlist!

시즌 2에서겠습니다.

저는 진짜 행복합니다! 안녕!

Thanks for the journey.

#hospital playlist #iksong #wintergarden #friendship #tvn hospital playlist #슬기로운 의사생활 #슬의 #lacking five #99ers

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editoress · 4 years

Text

Did I make fun of the Destiel scene? Yes. Did I also write fix-it fic without having seen the finale or indeed having watched any Supernatural for approximately one hundred years? Yes. Sometimes fans just deserve more, even from people who fell off the wagon two states back.

Sam pretended to stare at the ceiling. Ceilings weren’t interesting, as a rule, and he’d seen every motel ceiling in existence besides. This one was no different. Off-white, textured in a way you could see shapes in if you were bored or tired enough, which he often was. Yeah, given the state of things, he didn’t really want to let his imagination wander right now. Instead, he kept looking out of the corner of his eye at the other twin bed in the motel room—or rather, at Dean, who was also lying on his back with his hands behind his head and definitely not sleeping. Dean actually was staring blankly at the ceiling.

Sam fidgeted. You’d think that losing people over and over again would make it easier, if only so that there would be some kind of silver lining to it all. How many times were you supposed to feel the same hurt? How was it that he still didn’t know what to say?

Dean sighed through his nose, the way he did when he was working up to say something. Sure enough, after a moment, he asked quietly, “Sam? You awake?”

“Yeah,” Sam said, too fast.

Another beat of silence passed before Dean asked with put-upon gruffness, “Do you think he meant… you know, romantically?”

Sam blinked a little. And then he turned his head to stare at Dean. He was so floored by the question that he asked, “Dude, where have you been?”

“What?”

“Sorry. I mean—” He struggled to put some diplomacy in his voice but gave up pretty quickly. He rolled to prop himself up on his elbow. “Did you seriously not notice?”

“I don’t know,” Dean replied stubbornly, still staring at the ceiling.

“Wow.”

“Okay, Casablanca, what tipped you off?”

“The past decade, probably.” After some consideration, Sam added, “And I’m not totally oblivious to everything around me.”

Dean shot him a glare and gestured broadly with both hands. “We stay kinda busy, Sam.”

“A decade,” Sam reminded him sagely. He sobered. “But… yeah. I think so.”

“Damn.” Abruptly, Dean threw his forearm over his eyes, and his voice cracked. “Damn it. I didn’t say anything.”

Awkwardly, Sam put in, “He knew you weren’t good at that kind of thing.”

“I should’ve said something,” Dean muttered.

Sam couldn’t disagree, and he didn’t dare ask what Dean would have said. That was probably what Dean had been thinking about for days already. Sam’s brow scrunched. It wasn’t fair, how it never got easier. Dean sniffled. Minutes passed. Neither of them got any closer to sleeping.

Sam blurted out, “Think we could pull someone out of the Empty?”

Dean raised his head to squint at him. “What? Are you crazy?”

Sam frowned. “We weren’t supposed to be able to get people back from Hell, either, but we keep doing it.”

“Quit pouting,” Dean ordered, but he sounded thoughtful. “Have some respect.”

“It’s called frowning.”

Dean ignored him to mull it over. After a while, he sighed and scrubbed his hands over his face. “I dunno. I can’t—if it doesn’t work, if there’s not a way to do it—that’s worse.”

“Never stopped us before.”

Dean grunted noncommittally.

“This would be the last time,” Sam pressed.

“We always say that.”

He had a point. “How about this,” Sam offered, “this will really be the last time, because no one else is allowed to die after this.”

Dean snorted, and it almost managed to be a laugh. “Sounds good.” He rubbed his eyes and said in a small voice, “I’m tired.”

All Sam could say in reply was a heartfelt, “Mhmm.” He’d been feeling it, too, like he wanted to go home. But who knew where that was? Sam didn’t have a clue what came after all this monster hunting and fate defying, probably because they’d tried so many times and it never seemed to stick.

“This is the last time,” Dean decided finally. “Nobody else dies after this.” He pointed firmly at Sam. “You hear me?”

Sam held up his hands in surrender. “I got it. No dying.”

“No dying, no other dimensions, no soul weirdness. Just… watching football. Or whatever it is people do.”

Sam laughed. Their lives sounded just sad when he put it that way. “Okay, yeah.”

“Good,” Dean said, mollified. “All right. Let’s pull one more crazy, impossible stunt.”

The first thing Castiel saw was Dean’s face. The rest of the world came into focus slowly, too bright and loud after the nothing of before, but he had no trouble perceiving Dean. It was such a grounding sight that even as Castiel reeled at the return of existence, he landed firmly in his usual form, the one friendliest to human eyes and comprehension. He opened his mouth to breathe real air and ask numerous questions.

And thus, the first thing he heard on his return was Dean saying gruffly, “Shut up.” And his first tactile experience was Dean’s hand over his lips. It was a lot to take in after an ageless void outside all creation, so Castiel had no trouble shutting up.

“Look,” Dean continued, strained, “do you have any idea—” He made a frustrated noise and took his hand back from Castiel’s face. Unfortunate. “That was stupid, Cas. Are you serious? That was your moment of happiness? Telling me that you… that you loved me? You didn’t even give me time to say anything back. What kind of happiness is that?”

Castiel’s struggle with reality only increased. Possibly trains of emotional logic were beyond his grasp at the moment. Hoarsely, he asked, “Were you going to say something back?”

“Yeah,” Dean admitted with the lockjaw mutter that meant he was nervous. “I just… didn’t know what was going on. Right then.”

Castiel had always considered his explanations perfectly clear, but Dean had an almost indefinite ability to stubbornly ignore select emotions and information. “I see,” he began.

“Keep,” Dean said, “shutting up.”

Castiel tried not to smile.

“I guess I…” Dean swallowed. “I’m not good at speeches. Can I skip it?”

Castiel nodded generously.

“Great, thanks.” Dean stared over Castiel’s shoulder for a long moment before looking at him and continuing, “I love you. I love you, too, that is. Sorry it took me so long.”

“It wasn’t that long,” Castiel assured him, because he was an angel and had seen ages come and pass; but also it had been a long time to live with not knowing. “Dean, you don’t have to say—”

“I’m saying what I wish I’d said, okay? You got a whole speech, do I get to talk?”

Castiel smiled at his exasperation, and once he’d started, he couldn’t seem to stop. “Sorry. Go ahead.”

Dean gave him a stern look that was ruined by a certain mistiness in his eyes. “That’s it,” he admitted. “Except for… uh…”

“Hmm?”

“Aw, hell,” Dean mumbled, and kissed him.

Castiel was not in the business of hyperbolically comparing things to Heaven, being one of its native residents. But this, returning from an eternal sentence in the void to a world of love requited, had a certain likeness.

#finest crafts #maybe not FINEST but I had fun

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zosonils · 4 years

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did i hear. phineas and ferb break up episode 👀👀

Yee Haw Babey i don’t quite have an entire episode’s worth of details figured out but here’s how it’d roughly be structured

>i haven’t figured out what they would even have to fight over yet [like i said a recurring theme of the series is that they’re absolutely ride or die supportive of each other, which is probably why this episode never happened lmao], but it’d be something which while ultimately inconsequential is pretty important to both of them. ideally they’d both be equally right/wrong, and no lines would be crossed, so the inevitable 14,000-post long forum debates over which of them was in the right will be boring and easy to ignore

>whatever the fuck incites this is either the opening scene of the episode, a mystery until the reveal near the end, or some noodle incident that never gets fully explained. one way or another, by the time they would usually be going through the Ferb I Know What We’re Going To Do Today Hey Where’s Perry routine, they aren’t on speaking terms

>at this point the a-plot kinda divides into two subplots, one following each of the brothers. phineas is trying to go about his usual shenanigans without ferb’s help, struggling to ignore the fact that he is repeatedly being punched in the face by how much harder everything is alone. meanwhile candace is trying to prod an explanation out of ferb as to why he’s sulking and playing spore creatures for the nintendo ds [please play spore creatures for the nintendo ds it’s unironically good] instead of doing something bustable outside

>candace teams up with isabella, baljeet and buford to figure out what’s going on and put an end to it - the gamer gang because watching them try to get on without each other is frankly depressing as fuck, candace because only busting one of her brothers would feel underwhelming

>the b-plot is that doof has invented a CARD-INATOR that will turn anything it hits into a card, because nothing is more disappointing than expecting a present only to just get a card. he plans to fuck roger over with this somehow. this will be relevant later.

>god it would be so funny if there was like a duet-structured song set up like they’re going to sing about wanting to make up but not knowing where to start, phineas has like a touching little verse where he openly acknowledges that he looks up to ferb a lot and he doesn’t know where to go without him, and then it gets to the point where you would logically assume ferb gets a verse and it’s just AUDIBLY UPSET HUMMING with like occasional cuts to candace and the gamer gang looking concerned that then pan back to ferb lying on the couch with his ds angrily making microwave noises and trying not to cry

>another verse where phineas talks about his instinct to protect and stand up for ferb and how he feels like he’s failed at the first step of that, brief instrumental break, cut back to ferb just having an entire anxiety attack in the living room at this point and humming loudly to try and calm himself down, conveniently he’s still perfectly in tune,

>phineas’ invention of the day ends up being something characteristically elaborate that’s themed towards ferb’s interests somehow, because this boy has no fucking clue how to navigate conversations about emotions and the only way he can think to apologise is by making something over-the-top for ferb instead of like. talking about it. he is so stupid god bless

>ferb, on the other hand, has apparently planned out a long and heartfelt apology-slash-request to make up with the help of candace and the gamer gang. various jokes are made about how elaborate this is in its own way. he’s got cue cards. he has a coloured poster board like a year 8 science project except it’s titled Phineas I’m Not Mad Anymore Please Can We Be Friends Again. there’s a diorama with moving parts and led lights installed. it’s heavily implied that he made at least one powerpoint presentation

>after spending most of the episode going from the living room to the backyard and back again, the gamer gang and candace head outside with ferb in tow to finally set up the moment of reconciliation. ferb looks at his first cue card like he’s going to read off it, then throws it to the side as he and phineas immediately forget their elaborate plans and just run headfirst into each other and hug and cry like the upset kids they are

>phineas and ferb have apparently made up, and not a moment too soon, because beep fucking beep linda is home and there is still a fuckoff massive apology gift and a very extensive powerpoint presentation in the backyard. candace briefly wonders if she’d really stoop so low as to turn the boys’ genuine emotional conflict into a busting opportunity, only to instantly decide that she absolutely would and immediately go into the MUM HOLY FUCK routine

>right before either of the boys can introduce their elaborate apology presentations, doof and perry’s fight of the day causes the card-inator to fire into the flynn-fletcher backyard as inators so often do, reducing both phineas’ invention and ferb’s multimedia presentation to cards. candace triumphantly tells linda to take a look at the boys’ extremely dangerous conflict resolution skills. linda takes a look. she thinks that it was very cute of them to make each other cards to say sorry for fighting. candace bursts a blood vessel

>oh there you are perry, phineas and ferb agree that they’ll never ever fight again, someone says something funny, guitar riff, cut to black

i made about a third of this up on the spot as i was writing it but yeah that’s how i think this episode would go! now that i’m thinking about it i want to actually flesh this out more, maybe write it a proper script or something

#but that'll have to wait because i stayed up until 1am answering this ask lmao #i'm just hgh hfkjdn hsjkfmmmmmm Manie Thots about this concept #i'm genuinely really strongly considering finishing this idea as a script or storyboard or something now #maybe fuck around and write a fic for the first time in two years #sonic forces me to answer questions #transmascdanny

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morganas-pendragons · 4 years

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Best Carol/Melissa Episodes

So I got bored in Quarantine and I was so moved by Look At The Flowers that I decided to make this list of the best episodes that either feature Carol/Melissa as a lead or she plays a large part in them. I haven’t seen S1-2 since like... 2014 as they’re my least favorite (i know i’m sorry but i did include honorable mentions) but I’m so freaking proud that I couldn’t not make this list. Here we go! Feel free to add to them! ** means they’re my favorite performances of Melissa! I do mention some scenes that are also with Norman/Daryl as he is a LARGE part of who Carol is. If you think it’s ‘’shippy’’ which it might be, don't read it. I worked on this for almost two hours.

season 1

- for real, what woman keeps a grenade on hand? That was it. That was where I started paying attention to her.

- also, the scene where she digs the pickaxe into Ed’s head? I think Daryl and I both fell for her then.

season 2

- the honorable mention!! the barn scene in which carol learns the fate of her daughter. I don’t remember most of s2, but this one I do. I think this might’ve been the first point in the show where I was like, “Hey Google, how to protect someone who isn’t real.’’

season 3

- walk with me: We get to see how Carol has changed during her time on the road after the farm and how much she’s learned. This is also, unfortunately, the last time we see her for a couple episodes until Daryl finds her in the cells below.

- hounded: daryl finds carol. It’s sweet, it’s warm and soft and there’s alot of reunions and alot of mourning over T-Dog and Lori.

season 4

- Carol has become a leader in her own right for this season. She teaches the kids how to defend themselves during the ruse of a story time and takes on Lizzie and Mika as her own after Ryan is bit.

- indifference: After killing Karen and David to stop the spread out a virus, Rick takes it into his own hands to banish Carol. This one hurts too because it’s quite obvious why she did it. She did it to protect herself and the people she loves, but sometimes that’s just not enough.

- the grove: emmy emmy emmy emmy material. Holy crap, I CANNOT stress this enough! This is the make or break episode for Carol as a character. There’s beauty and devastation and anguish all wrapped up into 45 minutes. This should’ve made Melissa well known. This should’ve won her multiple awards, and it didn’t. But we know. We know.

season 5

- sanctuary: this one goes down in history for multiple reasons, and most of us know them. 1.) Caryl reunions galore. Even if you don’t ship it, that moment is so, so sweet. 2.) If it weren’t for Carol, your fave would be dead. That’s literally it.

- consumed: OOF. Really.

- The back half of season 5 after the arrival at Alexandria is hilarious to me. Because these people are so sheltered from the darkness and the cruelty of the outside world that Carol takes on their own persona to blend in with them, to know the naivety of these people and to hide easily among them to get what she needs. This is also how she befriends Sam, who probably reminds her of Sophia which is why she’s so cruel to him.

season 6

- jss**: ‘’Miss Peletier, you are an honest to goodness hero.” No. Freaking. Way. I remember watching this episode and rocking back and forth on my heels in anticipation because up until this point, I think this might’ve been one of the bloodiest moments in the show - and right in the center of it all is Carol - who is now of the mindset that, ‘’hey, we need to kill, we don’t have a choice.’’ and she portrays the internal struggle behind all of this so, so well. The scene with Melissa holding the body on the stairs was what won me over for this episode. It’s very much a merciless 45 minutes.

- no way out: Carol is not a lead in this episode, but Melissa is very heavily influenced between this one and the previous because of her confrontation with Morgan. I remember how angry that made me, having to watch him bodyslam her (a former domestic abuse victim) against the floor. Outside of Carol, this episode is one of my favorites in the show.

- not tomorrow yet/the same boat**: Carol moreso plays a bigger part in the latter as opposed to the former, but these two episodes really showcase two things: Her heart to protect her family (IE: A now pregnant Maggie) and her deteriorating mental state. Outside of The Grove, I think this is one of Melissa’s most powerful performances. it’s also the only female led ep in the show

- east**: I cried the first time I watched this. Carol vs The Saviors, #2. This episode breaks between Morgan and Rick going out to look for her (HENCE ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVORITE QUOTES ABOUT CAROL: “That woman, she’s a force of nature.) I don’t think I really understood the power behind the eyes in the midst of television until I saw this episode. I can’t find the gif, but I’m sure most of you who’re reading this know what I’m talking about.

- last day on earth**: again this episode shifts between perspectives as TF is trying to get Maggie to Hilltop for her pregnancy complication, but Melissa is stellar here. Carol doesn’t want to love because if she loves, she has to kill, and she attempts to manipulate one of the survivors from the massacre into doing what she can’t: taking her own life. She just wants to go, and Morgan won’t let her. This one is a bit darker, and the episode as a whole is not my favorite, but it’s definitely up there in my favorite performances for Melissa.

season 7

- the well: if there was ever an episode that would show you that Melissa aces comedy, it was this one. This is meant to be an introductory to The Kingdom, but the hilarity behind the way Carol talks to Ezekiel is so entertaining. It’s kind of hard to believe she ends up marrying the man (we’re not going into shipper discourse here, friends) but this one also shows you something through Carol’s eyes: The differences between people and walkers and her desire not to kill. She wants to hide, and she does.

- new best friends: Daryl lies to Carol about what happened in the clearing with Negan. This one is so so heartfelt. It’s deeply intimate. It showcases two people who’d move heaven and earth to ensure the safety of the other, both physical and mental and emotional. Norman and Melissa aced this. I can’t say it more simply then that.

- bury me here**: I love love love love love this episode. The entire thing is a metaphor, but I love it anyway. If I remember right, this is also the one where Morgan tells Carol about Glenn and Abraham. Remember what I said about the power behind a look? This is another instance in which Melissa shows she is the master of this.

- carol spends alot of the time at the kingdom for the rest of the season and i cannot really remember any more memorable performances for this garbage, as they took my fave and reduced her to a side character for this and most of s8.

season 8

- the only performance i will give any credit to in this season is 8x04, which is Some Guy. I barely remember the rest of it. Minus the moment where she finally saves a kid - Henry - instead of losing one. And a heartbreaking moment between her and Morgan that I also barely remember. Case in point, S8 was and still is garbage.

season 9

- 9x01-9x05 all have Carol in them because whenever Angela Kang took over the show, she had the brilliant idea to actually use her lead women as leads. Season 9 feels like an eternity ago and I can’t remember if she took over before or after AL signed off, but my point remains. Between Carol’s loyalty to Ezekiel because of Henry, (who she has now taken as her son), and their marriage, and her short stint as the leader of the Sanctuary as Negan is in confinement, there’s something in Carol here we haven’t seen in years. It’s something akin to peace, or as close as she’s gonna get to it. 9x03 and 9x04 (particularly the conversation b/t Rick and Carol) are my favorite of this cluster for her.

- I almost dropped off after 9x05. I thought that was it, I thought that was gonna be where I ended. Nope. This woman - AK- took this show and made it what it had been and I’ll never be able to thank her enough for it.

- Who Are You Now: I only remember this one because of the scene where Carol and Henry are in the carriage - side note: I really need to go back and rewatch this season again - but one of the things that caught my attention about the after of the bridge was how the relationships b/t parent and child are approached as significant. They’re not the future. The adults are building for the future of the kids. Michonne/Judith, Ezekiel/Henry and Carol/Henry. It’s sweet. Very sweet.

- Stradivarius: this is a very Caryl heavy episode, but we find out something here: Even with being married to Ezekiel, Carol has still gone out to see Daryl where he resides by the same river that took Rick. Henry sees the relationship between him and his mother. It’s as obvious as the nose on your face. This one is just adorable. I love it.

- The Calm Before**: Ow. OW OW OW OW OW. You want more pain? Here you go! Carol faces the dark truth as she crests the hill that holds her worst nightmare: Henry has died. She’s lost another kid. You wanna restrain yourself from breaking through the TV to comfort Carol for the umpteenth time as she breaks? Cool. That’s what you get here.

- The Storm**: Split apart by the death of Henry, Carol and Ezekiel no longer remain married. She gives up that fairytale - one of the happiest she’d ever had - and begins wallowing in her suffering over the loss of her son. Heartbreak and grief do not come easily to her. They never have. Can you imagine being suffocated by things you’ve never talked about? Can you imagine having to live every day with your grief? Well, look here... that’s exactly what Carol does, and you want to know who her guiding force is?

It’s Daryl.

season 10

- I remember when Season 10 aired, I watched the first episode in Kenya and loved it. I’d heard something about how PTSD was a BIG factor in the progression of the story throughout this season, and as someone who wants to go into mental health counseling, I was so intrigued by this that every single episode kept my eyes glued to the TV. Carol is the lead female now besides Michonne, but I’m gonna tell you every single favorite episode of mine anyway.

- Ghosts: Carol makes a mistake and fires at Alpha when they meet her at the border. She wears a mask that’s so composed it’s almost hard to see the heartbreak beneath it, and that’s the point. She’s not considering her life. She’s considering vengeance for the life that was taken. This is a constant circle for her. Alot of people are tired of this arc and I get it, I do. But the difference between this one and the three seasons previous is that we’re meant to get to a resolution now. This episode broke my heart. Especially the last scene in the gym.

- Bonds: Another Caryl heavy episode. I love this one. It’s very lighthearted compared to the rest of the season.

- Open Your Eyes**: This one is utterly terrifying and eerily reminiscent of the one in S2 where Daryl interrogates Randall. Carol, having just brought back a Whisperer from her escapade with Daryl, interrogates him to find out the location of Alpha’s horde without any real consideration for the people around her. She also uses Lydia for her own personal gain, and I’m not gonna lie - Even though this one is one of my favorites because of Avi Nash (WHO WAS SUCH A GOOD ADDITION TO THE SHOW I LOVED HIM AS SIDDIQ) This episode made me so angry because of Carol’s motives.

- The World Before**: And when I said I was angry, this episode turned it all into heartbreak. This one remains one of my favorite of the show and of Carol for one very specific reason: The scene in the woods between her and Daryl.

As someone who has never done grieving well, this scene hit me so. hard. She’s so set on this path of vengeance and blood that she’s neglecting a very real truth that she has never done well: talking about her burdens, talking about the pain and if she does that, if she acknowledges it, then she will hurt.

- Squeeze: I don’t have to talk about this. I just have to show you.

Ow. Please, please let her heal. I’m so tired of seeing her hurt.

- 10x11 and 10x12 don’t really have Carol, and neither does 10x13, but she’s there. We see her a couple of times, we have a conversation or two. Let me get to the penultimate moment. One we’ve waited for years to see and which next week will give us the rest of.

- LOOK AT THE FLOWERS*****: You can be a Carol fan for five minutes or five years and still somehow managed to love her MORE after watching this one. There’s a couple reasons why this one is probably in my top 3 for both Melissa and Carol as a whole.

1. I have waited years to see Negan meet Carol. JDM has made it very clear how he feels about MMB and I knew, I knew, that once this interaction happened I would not be disappointed. I should’ve realized she was the one who let Negan out, but I didn’t. That entire first scene is gold.

2. This entire episode is just.. art. The fact that Carol’s darker side takes the form of the being of her hatred - Alpha - is fitting, and it’s also the first time we’ve really gotten an actual dialogue about multiple things that have formed her character for the last several seasons: The Grove, the loss of Sophia, Ed... It’s heartbreaking to see because she keeps telling herself pushing people away is better, it’s better to be alone because there’s no one to burden, and the darker side of her asks a very simple question: What do you want?

Her answer is clear, at least to her. I want to be alone. But the fact that the darker part of her, the one that keeps calling out on Connie, doesn’t agree. No. There’s something deeper. Something she’s too afraid to acknowledge.

3. That whole final scene. Wow. I’ve watched it like four times because Samantha Morton is just so good as Alpha, as Carol’s dark counterpart, trying to mock and taunt her into doing the one thing she never was able to do herself: Dying. This episode is dark because of this realization. “Look at the flowers’’ is akin to ‘’It’ll all be over soon.” but instead of choosing death, instead of choosing the one thing that would let it be over, she chooses life. She essentially chooses to fight for herself which she has not done in YEARS. The minute she acknowledges that it’s never too late (FOR WHAT?? HM??) the demons disappear. I think that this point into 10x15 will give us two things that every Carol fan is desperate for: Healing for Carol (FINALLY!), and a resolution to this endless arc of suffering.

Also... Why do we think that Daryl is the one who ends up welcoming her home? Why is he the one who opens the gate?

Long story short: I love this character. I love Melissa McBride as she is one of the most down-to-earth, humble and compassionate actresses in Hollywood. It’s a shame she’s not gonna be recognized by The Academy because if ever there was an actor/actress on this show to win, it’d be her.

#Carol Peletier #Melissa McBride #The Walking Dead #TWD #twd spoilers #messing up my own tagging system just to prove my point

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iatheia · 3 years

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EDA reviews Part 5 - books 38-46

Previous part 1, 2, 3 & 4

38) Casualties of War - a lovely story. In form and in function it is pretty much identical to the previous story, and even reveals pretty much the same info verbatim. The plot is similarly nothing outstanding, from ~5 minutes in you can tell pretty much exactly how it is going to turn out. That said, it has a much better atmosphere than the Burning, and Doctor’s characterization is also much stronger. Nice and relaxing, if a bit gory at times, and veering off towards supernatural by the end. 8/10

39) The Turing Test - Wow, these stories keep getting better and better! It is overwhelming and exuberant. Only a handful of books have even attempted to get anywhere near close into the Doctor’s psyche as this one has. Moreover, it has multiple narrators, and all three have a very different relationship with the Doctor, you get into the different facets of his persona, multiplicity of his character. You have a dashing and breathless romantic whose mere presence sweeps you off your feet, a reckless hero, an enigma, at the same time, there is a rather selfish and cruel streak as well. He is a manipulator, someone who knows more than he should and willing to use this knowledge to achieve his aims, willing to play people against each other and show a side of himself that they would be most accepting to see. It is never to the degree of Seven, this behavior is all Eight through and through, the core of his characters never sways, it’s just viewed through a different lens. The previous novels have established these facets, but more on accident, due to lack of consistency between different writers, picking one and going with it. But this is the first one I feel they were actually explored in full, though, certainly, there will be other stories to tackle this in the future as well (Caerdroia in particular comes to mind). An outstanding story through and through. 10/10

40) Endgame - Hot off the heels of the previous one, another fun story - or, at the very least, something that would have been a gem if it had managed to sustain the energy it had at the beginning. Doctor’s claustrophobia and depression were very poignant, and, as much as I loved Stranded already, it does make me look at that story in a new light with a newer appreciation. And, on top of that - this book is funny, the Doctor evading spy agents with ease is the comedy of errors. That said, in the second half there is too much runamock it’s a bit repetitive, not very well organized, they needlessly cross the ocean so many times, the situation at a given location is resolved the second the Doctor shows up on a scene, and it all ends in deus ex machina. The authors note says that the original draft was submitted unfinished, and boy does it show. Still, I had fun with it. 8/10

41) Father Time - It is hard not to notice though that some of the novels come in pairs (or trios). The Burning and the Casualties of War had a lot of overlap. Turning Test and Endgame were both based on political intrigue. And now, Endgame and Father Time, both feature some mysterious entity that know the Doctor from before, with him not knowing who they are. They are even called similarly, “The Players” and “The Hunters”. When these overlaps are so close to one another, it does rather stick out. This ark is not the first time this happened, obviously, there have been a number of stories before that makes you pause and go “wait, you’ve just done this in the previous book, too”. It’s probably more to do with how quickly the books are released one after another, so as the writers discuss some ideas, they end up being in several places....

That said, the first third of the book had me singing its praises. After going through the five stages of grief, and battling against the depression of the previous novel, the Doctor is finally reaching acceptance of his situation, and possibly nurturing hope for the future. It’s exactly the type of a fluffy story I have a weakness for. But then... you have a time skip, which gets all the pacing torn into shreds. Not only the conclusion of the first part is too abrupt, everything falling into pieces as if by accident, but also, none of the things that happened in the first part (or most of the characters that were introduced) matter for part two. It turns into a chess match play by numbers, moving characters across the board almost without any transition in service of “plot”, without much of consideration for their head space, keeping everyone rather ooc. The change in visuals is very abrupt - it’s hard to accept the Doctor as a millionaire business consultant living in a grand mansion, new family situation or not. It’s not just at odds with his bohemian persona, it also begs a question, if he is so famous, what do the UNIT and Torchwood are doing about it? And also, *sigh*. You have a sixteen year old girl, who, in the previous chapter, just been ten. And you decide to spend the next two chapters on little else than musing how “she hasn’t been interested in sex, even though she is SO HOT”, only to decide that she is interested now, actually. It comes across more than a little fetishistic, and the story continues to follow her around with the male gaze. I’m not here to follow sexual exploits of minors - not in a Doctor Who novel. It is utterly unnecessary, doesn’t add anything of value to the plot, not character driven, and made me lose pretty much all of the good will I had from the first part of the story (and I had a lot of it, because the start of it was basically perfect). In the third part, it just turns into a discount Taken story, somehow managing to lose any cohesiveness and suspension of disbelief, and fizzles out in the end. 4/10

Amnesia watch: #7. It’s a bait and switch - the Doctor was just pretending, but I’m counting it anyway.

42) Escape Velocity - I wonder, how much sponsorship did various fast food places paid for this novel....

And we are back with Fitz. I didn’t really say it before, but it was really rather a dick move leaving the Doctor all alone for over a century. I mean, it worked, narratively speaking (more on that later), but, still, in an option between traveling through space & time BUT leaving them alone for that long, without any idea who they are, without any network of support, letting them slowly go mad, only being there for the fun bits, versus staying with them to help them through it all, you are kind of a bad friend. Sure, Compassion was in the driver’s seat, but Fitz didn’t exactly protest all that much, did he? And why 20th century earth? If the conditions for Doctor’s maroonment was that he had to stay somewhere for over 100 years while the TARDIS repaired itself, then any other technologically advanced era that didn’t have two world wars would have sufficed? And, psst, Doctor, your adopted kid has a space armada. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind giving you one ship that would allow you at least space travel, you didn’t have to spend last 11 years on Earth - you could have went traveling, TARIS in tow on that ship, and only checked in at the deadline.

Also, I get it, memory loss is a traumatic experience, and the Doctor isn’t human, and there is a sense of wrongness. But, he has lived on Earth for over 100 years. In that time he had more memories and experiences than any human alive. After a while, this entire thing of “I don’t know who I am” should start wearing a bit thin, don’t you think?

This rant aside, the book is a bit play by numbers. A lot of unnecessary runaround, traveling from London to Brussels and back several times for no particular reason. A rather boring “aliens invading earth” plot that left me checked out for a vast majority of it. Nothing bad about it, but nothing stands out about the plot either. But, it did have several heartfelt emotional scenes - the long awaited reunion, seeing TARDIS interior again, the finale. They were fairly brief, and it’s a bit of a pity they weren’t savored for a bit longer, instead letting the plot get in the way, but the little that was there was nice. 7/10

43) EarthWorld - I was hoping to enjoy this book a bit more than I ended up, I usually am quite fond of Rayner’s works, but I guess it is one of her first books. It’s a bit monotone, landing on the side of quirky, whether it was suited for a scene or not. Also dwelling on the past quite a bit, invoking the imagery of Unearthly Child, War Games, Greatest Show in the Galaxy in a rapid succession, for no specific reason, and then dwelling for quite a long time on several previous novels in a not entirely organic way. Instead of using this as an opportunity so start afresh now that we’re finally back in the TARDIS, it feels like it is focused more than ever on recapping how they got here, especially as the previous novel offered a way out by letting Fitz forget most of the previous “ark”. There were a lot of lovely character moments - but some of it did feel overly gratuitous. Still, it’s a decent book, even if it doesn’t quite reach full marks 8/10.

44) Vanishing Point - Easily the best Steve Cole novel of the ones I’ve ever read and/or listened to. This is the fresh start to the team adventures that I was hoping for. The alien world is interesting, with great worldbuilding (which is actually kind of rare in the novels). A lot of exciting imagery. The characters are a joy to behold. Not just the trio, but the secondary characters too. The first half of the book is basically perfect. It... kind of fizzles out in the second half, never really delivering on its set up in an entirely satisfying way.

A big part of the difficulty of suspending disbelief, though, was Fitz’s leg. I twisted my ankle once. I could barely walk for several days afterwards (so it having happen at a beginning of a trip was Awful), it took months for it to fully heal, and even now it feels more wobbly than the other one. And a colleague of mine ended up getting a special boot, because she keeps twisting her ankle (always the same one). Fitz had twisted his ankle, and then he was shot in the leg. And he is running about mountains and waterfalls almost immediately. 8/10

45) Eater of Wasps - You have to give it to Baxendale, he has a very particular style. Everything described so masterfully you couldn’t help but imagining every single detail, like painting a picture before you. Even though a significant portion of it is body horror that is described exactly as lovingly as the British countryside. Never before has the title been this appropriate. Very careful in setting up the conflict and tension between the protagonists. 10/10

46) The Year of Intelligent Tigers - This story is just nice. Another one with incredible visuals and incredible feelings behind it, exuberant and overwhelming, like a hurricane. The ending is particularly strong. This is peak Eight - a force of nature, alien and unknowable, and yet, you can’t help but being swept off your feet. Stories like this one is exactly why he is the platonic ideal of who the Doctor should be.

Overall impressions so far: This was like a breath of fresh air. The “stuck on Earth all on his own” ark was not only beautifully executed, but it was also badly needed. The last time I was complaining that few novels actually did anything with Eight - he would react to the plot, but never really be affected by anything. And at the heart of it was the issue that the writers, through trial and error, did come to a consensus about who he should be, but rarely took time to actually get into his head - they started out somewhat flat-footedly, and then got swept up in other things. Here, though, they were forced to slow down and focus his undivided attention just on him, what makes him tick if you break him down to the barest essentials - so even after reuniting with the TARDIS and the companions, his portrayal is all the stronger as a result. Rather than merely reacting to the world at large, he is now an active participant.

The companions are great. There is nothing particularly special being given to Fitz to chew upon, but his presence is always welcome, especially with him being as mellow as he has been back in Autumn Mist. What is it about the Doctor that attracts so many companions with an acute case of praise kink, I wonder? Anji is also interesting, and I love seeing what’s being done with her. She slots in perfectly, delivering so sorely missed snark Compassion had in her pre-Shadow of Avalon outings, all the while having a rather unique relationship with the Doctor - acknowledging his eldritch horror moments, being one of the few who does stand up to him. Especially after the last couple of books, I’m curious to see where this goes and how it continues to build.

The books themselves are a significant step up to what was there before, which got pretty joyless for a short while, alternating between mediocre to awful. In this batch, tough? Sure, there are some weaker offerings, but even there there is at least one stand-out scene that makes the book. Even if the plot isn’t exactly the most revolutionary thing in the world, it is being made up with solid character work. Honestly, for any new readers I would recommend just starting with #37 Burning and going from there - at least so far.

#doctor who #eighth doctor #eighth doctor adventures #eda

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