#brought to you by the 6 hour coach journey i had to take the other day that has sworn me off coaches for life
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If Only She Knew
pairing: dad!harry x cheerleader!reader
word count: 4.2k
warnings: smut (fingering + unprotected sex), cheerleading position implies readers weight, 20 year age gap
hi! ive been having some really bad writers block but i wrote this and even though its def not my best work i like it enough to post it :) also, i totally didn't mean to imply the readers weight, i only realized afterwards, so im really sorry about that. also the age gap is kinda big, so if ur uncomfy with that you shouldn't read this <3
PLEASE REBLOG IF YOU ENJOY
“Geez watch where you’re going!”
You don’t even look up at the girl, recognizing her nasally voice easily from how annoying it is. You were nose deep in a book while walking down the school hallway, and of course your worst enemy had to be walking down the same hallway, at the same time, in the opposite direction. You are both at fault for the collision, considering Ella had her eyes locked on her instagram feed. But knowing the girl, there is no way in hell that she will take any responsibility, even though you are the one who has coffee dripping down the front of your white blouse.
Since middle school, Ella Styles has always hated you. You have never known why, but she seems to have a vendetta against you, and tries her best to make your life miserable. You never let her, always refraining from giving her the explosive reaction that she was looking for. And that makes her hate you even more.
High school is over in 2 months, and although you are going to miss the freedom of being a child, you most definitely won’t miss the people from the tiny town you’ve lived in since you were young. You’ve always been the type of person to have a small friend group, only 4 people in your circle. But that’s how you like it, because crippling social anxiety makes it difficult for you to meet new people.
“I- sorry.” You still don’t look at her, instead peeling the soaking wet top off of your stomach.
“You better be sorry.” She flips her blonde hair, ensuring that the fluffy locks hit you right in the face. You are lucky this time seeing as she didn’t take it further, because sometimes she would purposely embarrass you after small incidents such as this one.
Tears well at your waterline and you run into the nearest bathroom, pushing open the blue door and locking yourself in a stall.
After all these years of torment, Ella rarely was able to get to you. But sometimes, she does something that pushes you off the edge, leaving you with red, tear-stained cheeks. The final straw this time was her ruining your brand new shirt, the one you were anxiously waiting to debut at school.
But now there was coffee dripping down your chest and staining the bright white fabric. Your only saving grace is the cheerleading uniform in your backpack. In fact, you were walking to the locker room to change for practice, and then for the game at 6 tonight.
You had been excited for the game, knowing that Friday night games always led to parties and fun afterwards. You rarely go to parties of course, but the buzzing energy never fails to rub off on you. But now that stupid Ella had to go and mess up your day, you’re dreading seeing her smug face while she asserts her dominance as cheer captain.
You untie your top and rip it off in a haste, frustrated tears running down your face periodically. You could’ve put a jacket on and gone to the locker room, but Ella would be going there soon, and the last thing you want to do is run into her with teary eyes. She can’t know that you let her get to you.
You brush your hands down your uniform, pulling down the skimpy costume and stuffing your old clothes in your backpack. Once out of the stall, you pull your hair up into a high ponytail, reapply your lip gloss and walk back into the hallway, having already done your makeup that morning. You’re happy that it’s a home game today, because the home game uniforms are two pieces and the skirts are smaller than the ones on the away game uniforms. There is a certain someone you are looking to impress, and the way your tits spill out from the top of the outfit will most certainly help you in your mission.
It’s not like you need to impress him, because he’s shown time and time again that he finds you sexy no matter what you wear. And when he doesn’t tell you, he shows you, by pressing his hard on up against your ass after you just woke up, despite your messy hair and bare face.
However, he also loves when you tease him. And that’s exactly what you’re planning to do.
You sling your heavy backpack over one shoulder and trudge down the hallway, the old fluorescent lights practically blinding you on your journey. The locker room is dingy, smelling of cheap soap and Victoria’s Secret perfume. At least it doesn’t smell like the boys locker room, which smells like sweat and more sweat.
It's already bustling with people, your teammates scrambling to get ready in time as to not get yelled at by the coach.
“Y/N!” The familiar shout of your best friend Rose is like a breath of fresh air, and you bound over to her. She’s standing in front of your lockers, the two of you obviously picking ones next to each other. “Wait, why are you already changed?”
“The bitch spilled her coffee all over me,” you grumbled, your eyes shifting over to where Ella and her little goons are giggling.
“I keep telling you, anytime you want me to beat her up I will gladly do it.”
“Not that I doubt your abilities Rose, because I know you would have her on the ground in a heartbeat, but I can’t let you do that. She can’t know that she upsets me.” You lower your voice for the second sentence, irrationally fearing that she can hear you over the loud chatter echoing through the room.
“I still think you should let me beat her up, but you do you I guess.” Rose shrugged her shoulders and turned back to her locker, bursting out into laughter with you after a beat of silence.
The rest of the getting ready process goes smoothly, Rose distracting you from the girl side-eyeing you in the corner. Soon enough, the whole squad was in formation outside, and you have your hands on the shoulders of Rose and another girl named Bethany. You are a flyer, meaning that you’re the one who the bases support while you pose and flip in the air. Its a hard job, but you are one of only three girls on the team who is advanced enough at flying to be safe doing it in routines. One of the other three girls is Ella.
Ella is the flyer for the middle group, seeing as she is the captain. You are on the right and the other group is on the left. Luckily, Rose is a base in your group, so you feel a lot better putting your safety in the hands of someone you already trust with your life.
“ELLA! YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG!” Coach Habbiths voice is piercing, her angry shrieks bouncing off your ear drums. Ella audibly huffs, displaying her frustration with the critiques she has been receiving since we learned the routine weeks ago. That’s one of the biggest problems with Ella, she believes that she's always right.
Every single practice she has done a needle instead of a scale at the end of the routine. It's aggravating for everyone, and that frustration is amplified everytime she makes the same mistake over and over. “Alright, everyone down. group 1 and group 3 take five, Ella and group 2 stay on the field.
The team obliged to her instructions, and you are brought down from the air.
“Okay Ella, I want you to watch how Y/N does the last move, because she’s actually doing it correctly.” Coach is standing in front of you now, and she emphasized the word ‘correctly’. This is much to Ella’s dismay, and much to your excitement.
Nothing brings you more joy than seeing Ella’s face when you one up her, and this time is no exception.
Aside from a few eye rolls and nasty looks, Ella corrects the move without much fuss. By now there's 15 minutes until the game, and the players have been warming up on the field for about half an hour.
“Did you see her face!” Rose tugs on your arm while you walk back to the locker room, water bottles in hand.
“I know! I should’ve taken a picture!”
“We can only hope that it knocked her ego down a peg.”
“I doubt it” Rose nodded in agreement and you continued your chatter, talking about the random things that best friends talk about.
“It’s go time ladies!” You jumped in surprise when Coach Habbiths yelling booms through the locker room, the hefty amount of metal in the room enhancing the echo.
In a blur, your entire team rushed out onto the field, the crisp air cooling your warmed skin. There was a huge crowd. probably the biggest the teams ever had. But that makes sense, because this game was against your school's biggest rival. Luckily, despite the huge crowd you were able to lock eyes with those piercing green irises you have gotten to know so well over the past couple months. Everytime you see him he gets more and more attractive, and this time is no exception.
At this point, the teams routine is muscle memory and you’re done with it before you can blink. Most people would think that being thrown in the air is memorable, but your main concern is the growing wet patch on your panties that spreads each time you squeeze your thighs together. Just the thought of the man is enough to turn you on, and now that you’re sitting on the cold metal bench your imagination has time to go wild.
The only thing that snapped you out of your daze was the eruption of appaulause from the audience, and the realization that the other cheerleaders were standing up and running towards the players. You breath out a sigh of relief, recognizing the cheering as a signal that the game has ended.
“Hey, you coming?” Rose tugs on your arm, looking down at you still on the bench.
“Um, actually I don’t feel so well, I think I’m going to go home.”
“I should’ve known. You know, one day you’re going to have to go to a party.” Rose places her hands on her hips, giving you a sarcastically annoyed stare.
“And today is not that day.” You grab your backpack and sling it over your shoulder, turning back to Rose for a second. “Have fun and be safe.”
“I always do.” Rose places a chaste kiss on your cheek before turning back to the gathering crowd on the turf.
Instead of heading to the sidewalk and walking home, you duck under the bleachers and walk down the gravel path, pushing open the fence that separates the field and the school. The contents of your backpack slosh around while you sway your hips as you walk. Finally, you make it to the back wall of the school, leaning your back against it and plopping your heavy backpack down by your feet.
And now you wait.
Much to your convenience, the wait this time isn’t long, only five minutes passing before you see the familiar man following the same path you did earlier.
He has a pair of brown slacks on, pressing against his waist courtesy of his black belt. A button up white shirt hides the tattoos on his stomach, but he's rolling up his sleeves as he walks over to you. He's walking with intention, hungry eyes zeroed in on you.
When he’s only steps away, you cheekily bite your lip and use your finger to push up your skirt a little bit more.
Your actions have the intended effect, his eyes blowing wide and hands grasping at your waist.
“Y’can’t do that.”
Before you have a chance to ask what he means, his lips collide with yours, his tongue slipping in only moments after the initial kiss. But as soon as he started, he pulls away.
“Y’can’t be teasing me on the field like tha’, had me hard next t’my friends.” His hand is on the wall above your head, and his other arm is wrapped around your waist pulling you into his chest. He’s panting, and you are too.
“Sorry Mr. Styles,” you push your bottom lip out in a pout, giving him the most innocent look possible. “Just wanted to wear it cause I know how much you like it.”
“Aw, my babygirl wore this f’me? Well I guess y’can be forgiven. Now let’s get t’my house before I fuck yeh right on this wall.” He places a soft kiss to your lips picking up your backpack from the floor and turning to the direction of his car.
“But it hurts!” He turns around again, giving you a sympathetic look and caressing your cheek. The rings on his fingers are cold, but you’re used to the feeling.
“I know sweet girl, but I can’t take care of yeh here, s’too risky.” He pauses for a moment, thinking of a solution to your not so little problem. “How bout I give y’my fingers in the car? Hows that sound hm?” You nod eagerly, pulling his hand down from your cheek and holding it. He takes the signal and begins walking to his car while you follow him.
You never planned to sleep with your bullies dad. But a few months ago your parents dragged you to a family friends housewarming party, and that friend happened to be a friend of Harry’s too. There were no other teenagers there, so your focus was on the attractive older man who had been checking you out since you first locked eyes, and after ending up in the upstairs bathroom together the two of you have been fucking at least twice a week. You only learned that he’s a dad when you saw him for the first time outside the party. He didn’t look the part, and you actually thought he was in his 20s until he corrected you. He’s 38, having become a parent at only 20 years old. Your relationship is a bit taboo, but you’re a mature 18 year old and you and Harry get along well. So well that your time together has developed from casual sex to a mutually exclusive relationship. (Neither of you like labels, but you’re basically boyfriend and girlfriend).
He makes you really happy, and when you have to face off against Ella, it helps knowing that you have power over her, even though she doesn’t know it.
“Did she do anything today?” Harry is walking beside you, hands still intertwined.
“Besides spilling coffee on my shirt, nothing much.” Harry sighs in frustration and squeezes your hand as a show of affection.
“M’so sorry, I wish y’didn’t ‘ave to deal with her.”
The thing about Harry and Ella is they can barely be considered family. Ella’s mom is, for lack of a better word, a bitch. She’s snobby, conceited, and rude, and those behaviors have rubbed off on Ella. Another thing that rubbed off on her was her mom’s hatred for Harry. Being young parents put strain on their already struggling relationship, and they split before Ella’s first birthday. Harry said he tried his best to make it work for Ella’s sake, but her mom was looking for someone to pay for her life, and Harry had just started working his way up as a businessman.
Now, he’s a CEO, but luckily Ella’s mom already found a new beau with plenty of money, so she didn’t come crawling back to him. However, the success Harry achieved only a few years after their breakup made her jealous, and so she instilled that anger in their daughter. So currently Ella spends most of her time with her mother, and when she is with Harry she doesn’t treat him kindly.
“It’s not your fault Harry, you don’t have to apologize for her actions.”
“I know, I jus’ hate tha’ she treats yeh like that.” He sighs again, reaching into his pocket to grab his keys. In a few more steps you’re standing outside the sleek black suv, walking around to the passenger seat and sliding in once you hear the click of the door unlocking.
You both take a few seconds to breathe, an unspoken gesture to prepare for the night's events. Harry turns to you, a sexy smirk plastered on his face. “What d’ya think about fixin’ that ache darlin?” You nod eagerly, sliding down a bit in your seat to give your legs room to spread. “Think yeh can take off y’skirt fo’me?” Your head bobs once again as you nod, hooking your fingers under the elastic waistband and shimmying out of the skirt. While you’re doing that, Harry turns the car into the deserted street, using only one hand to steer.
You toss the tiny skirt into his lap, giving him a signal without distracting his eyes from the road. He reacts immediately, his free hand coming down to squeeze your thigh. You mewl at the contact and bite down on your lip, trying to stop your hips from bucking up in search of relief. His squeezes move up your thigh, and finally his fingers press against your weeping cunt. Swiftly, he pushes your soiled panties to the side, swiping his fingers up your folds collecting your juices. You shriek and buck your hips up into his hand, but much to your dismay he removes it from between your thighs. The car comes to a stop at a red light, and Harry takes the moment to look at you, his eyes wandering your squirming body. He’s practically drooling when he places his fingers in his mouth, tasting your sweet wetness.
“Sorry pup, jus’ needed t’taste yeh.” He chuckles again, and you whine softly in desperation. In one quick motion, he dives his hand back to your pussy, pressing his thumb on your swollen clit.
“Fuck!” The pleasure shoots up your spine, goosebumps raising across your body as he rubs circles on the puffy button. “Harry- please,”
“What d’ya want puppy? Want m’fingers?”
“Yes, yes,” you breathe out, words barely comprehensible through your panting.
“Alright, alright, I gotcha.” And with that his two fingers press into you, filling your tight hole perfectly. There is no hesitation before he begins pumping the digits in and out of you and his thumb never lets up on your bundle of nerves. “Such a needy puppy, got yeh soaking f’me from out in the stands hm?” His eyes are still on the road, but you can picture the lust filled eyes that are undoubtedly on his face.
“Get so wet jus- just thinkin’ about you,” you gasp, writhing as his fingers slam in and out of you.
“Yeah? This is my cunt, m’the only one who can make yeh this wet, isn’t tha’ right?”
“Only Harry.” At your confirmation he speeds his hand up, your vision clouding with white spots as the knot building in your stomach grows tighter and tighter.
All of a sudden, he pulls his fingers out of you, leaving you empty. “Wha-” You begin to question him but you realize that he’s pulling into his driveway. Instead of complaining, you sit up quickly and unbuckle your seatbelt, pulling your skirt back up your legs to avoid being nude on his front lawn.
As soon as you feel the little jolt your hand yanks on the handle and you hop out of the car. Your brain is fuzzy with need and all you are focused on is alleviating the aching between your thighs. You hear Harry lock the car while you're on the steps, and you turn back to ensure that he’s behind you. And sure enough, he’s hot on your trail, just as eager as you to get inside and onto his bed. Your foot is tapping on the ground anxiously, waiting for Harry to unlock the front door. After what seems like an hour, he is next to you again, fumbling with the silver keychain in his hand, eventually unlocking and pushing open the door. You both practically run inside, hands roaming each other's bodies and lips locking as you shuffle through the hall.
You disconnect breathlessly when you reach the stairs, subconsciously wrapping your hands around Harry’s neck so he can pick you up bridal style. He does so hastily, barely a second passing before he’s plopping you onto the fluffy mattress. “Finally,” he pants, hands fumbling with his belt buckle. There’s a prominent bulge in his trousers, and although you’ve seen it plenty, you are always in awe at how thick and big he is. While he’s busy removing his clothes, you are practically drooling at the sight of his bare cock, full, heavy, and dripping precome.
“Harry?”
He looks back down at you with his emerald green eyes, simultaneously dropping his recently-removed shirt on the floor. “Can I ride you?” The look he gives you is indescribable, a mixture of need, lust, cockiness, and beauty all rolled up into one.
“Whatever y’want puppy,” His hands scoop under your ass, and he lifts you up and switches your positions. Now it’s your turn to undress, and Harry makes himself busy by running his hands up and down your torso. “So gorgeous, y’know that?” You nod quickly then pull your shirt off of your head. “Most beautiful girl in the world I reckon.” You blush at the compliment, butterflies being added to the many sensations occuring in your body. You straddle his thighs, wrapping your hand around his length and tugging a few times. A loud groan rumbles through his throat, and you smile knowing you’re the one who made him feel like that. “Thought- thought yeh said y’wanted to ride me pup.”
“I do.” You keep your hand on his cock, sitting up on your knees and lining him up with your weeping cunt. All at once, your body is put at ease as his cock fills you up perfectly. He bottoms out inside of you, both of you moaning and groaning while you adjust. “So big-” Your words come out in choppy pants, the syllables being cut off by your heaves. You suck in one deep breath and move upwards, sinking back down onto him quickly. His large hands hold a tight grip on your waist, guiding you up and down his member. His lips attach to your neck, suckling on the supple skin just enough so that it doesn’t bruise.
“What a dirty little puppy you are,” he growls, eyes focusing heavily on where your bodies connect, watching himself disappear inside of you as you bounce up and down on his cock.
“Feel so full-” Tingles ricochet down every part of your body, and your legs are becoming weaker with each movement. Harry can feel your movement faltering, so his hips thrust upwards to meet yours, fucking you from underneath. “Harry!”
“I know pup, I know.” His thumb strokes your cheek and he leans in for another kiss, devouring your plump lips and swirling his tongue around yours. “So fuckin tight,” The words tumble from his mouth in a low growl, which sends the butterflies in your stomach into a frenzy. His cock twitches inside of you, encouraging you to muster all your energy and finish both of you off. Adrenaline kicks in and your strength returns, riding him faster and harder than before. “Let go f’me Y/N.” It only takes a few more thrusts for you to come undone, Harry’s orgasm following suit. The waves of pleasure roll through your body, and you throw your head back in ecstasy as you allow the feeling to overcome your body. Spurts of his hot cum cover your velvety walls and you ride out your orgasms together, resting your foreheads against one another.
You end up sleeping at his house, feeling safe knowing that Ella is staying with her mom today. It’s normal for you to sleep at his place, seeing as both of you are usually so tired that you pass out before you can leave. What isn’t normal is for you to be woken up in the morning by Harry’s phone ringing. Harry is a deep sleeper, and you laugh at the sight of him conked out while his ringtone blares on the nightstand just a few inches away. Carefully, you reach over his sleeping body and grab the phone, planning on hanging it up and going back to bed. However, when you saw that it was Ella calling, you changed your mind. Making a split second decision, you slide the icon to the right, holding it up to your ear.
“Hello?” Her whiney voice rings through your eardrum and you wince. Not the nicest thing to be woken up to.
“Hello,” you answer, your voice not reflecting the cocky grin that spread across your face.
“Who the hell is this!” she shrieks, and you make a mental note that she must not be a morning person.
“A friend of your dads.” Your response is once again calm and monotone, trying to stifle the laugh that is bubbling in your throat.
“Ugh! What’s your name?”
“Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N”
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Nightcap
Pairing: Sebastian Stan x OFC
Warnings: smut, alcohol, oral (female + male receiving)
Words: 6497
Summary:
When Anna was on her way to Philadelphia for work, she met Sebastian on the plane. As her plane had to make an unplanned landing half way across the country, she found out that Sebastian and her would stay at the same hotel for the night. She couldn't even imagine what a night was ahead of her...
a/n: I wrote this story way back in 2016 for the release of Civil War and I thought since Falcon and the Winter Soldier will come out next week, I’ll bring it back for some Sebastian-related fun. Hope you like it!
Anna kept looking between the two toilets in the airplane she was on. One in the back and one right before the curtain to the business class. About five people each were waiting. She held it back for a while now and she was starting to reach her limit. So she just got up, walked towards the curtain and slipped through it to find the blonde stewardess that brought her the drinks that put her in this position.
“Excuse me, hi. I’m terribly sorry to ask you this and I know, normally we from coach are not allowed up there, but I REALLY need to go to the toilet for a while now and it seems there is not much progress at any of the ones back there”, she spoke quickly to underline the urgency of her request. “You’re right, you’re not allowed to go through that curtain there”, the stewardess spoke with a thick southern accent, pointing to the blue velvet separating coach from business class.
Anna was ready to whine and beg and give a heartwarming speech on why she really needed to go through that curtain or else she would just go here. “But I know what female distress looks like and we ladies gotta stick together, huh?”, she whispered with a wink and for a second Anna didn’t know what she was talking about. “I have mine right now too”, she winked again and patted her lower belly. “Oh, yeah, so tough”, Anna mirrored the patting of her lower belly and nodded in conclusion. “Just go”, the stewardess nodded towards the curtain with a smile, then turned around to the wall with the many compartments to continue her work.
Anna shook her head smiling and slipped through the curtain. She was relived as she saw that no one was waiting in front of this toilet and walked up to it as quickly as it was possible in her situation. When she was about half way there, the door of the toilet opened and a man walked out. He walked straight towards her. The closer he came the taller he got and his slightly longer hair fell a bit to the side which gave him a sexy destroyed look. But Anna had other things to concentrate on right now, like not to pee until she was in the toilet cabin.
When they both came to pass each other, Anna had to move sideways just like him to be able to squeeze herself past him. “Excuse me, sorry”, she said, looking at her feet to not step on his toes. “No problem”, he said in a sort of seductive voice which made Anna look up to meet his smile and bright blue eyes with a dull stare on her face. With a shy smile she kept on walking towards the toilet. “Anytime”, she heard behind her and shook her head with a smile.
After a very satisfying visit to the toilet, Anna started her journey back to her seat and couldn’t help but to look for that guy from before. He was kind of cute and definitely handsome and she wanted to have a second look at him because now she wasn’t distracted by her bladder.
Her view wandered over the left side of the plane while she was walking towards the curtain. Just as she was about to give up, she looked in front of her and almost ran into someone. “Oh, hey, we meet again”, he smiled down to her. Seeing him up close again, she realized how tall he was and his smile was catchy. “Oh hi, yes, sorry, I almost ran into you”, she apologized. He closed the compartment box above their heads and leaned onto his seat, blocking the way for her to leave. Not that she intended to.
“So, are you going to Philadelphia too?”, he asked and held the eye contact very intensively which made her a bit uncomfortable, but in a good way. “No, I thought I’d jump off over Ohio”, Anna shrugged her shoulders, which made him laugh. “You’re funny”, he said and smiled at her which made her smile as well. “Well, I try”, she said and blushed a bit. “I’m so sorry, I haven’t asked for your name yet”, the guy said and ran his hand through his hair. “I’m Anna”, she replied. “Sebastian”, he said, shook her hand and held it for a bit longer than necessary. And again held the eye contact very intensively.
A second later a hefty hitch seized the plane and everybody, no matter if they were reading a newspaper or sleeping, looked up and looked a bit irritated. The next moment the seatbelt-sign turned on and an announcement told us to return to our seats and fasten our seatbelts. “I guess, I should return to my seat now. It was nice to meet you Sebastian”, Anna said, smiled at him and squeezed herself past his body again since he barely moved. With a quick look over her shoulder before she walked through the velvet curtain, she saw that he still looked at her with a cheeky smile and winked when he caught her look.
Anna returned to her seat and after a few moments she realized she was still smiling. That Sebastian seemed to have made quite an impression on her. She got ripped out of her daydreaming when the plane shook again. Another announcement of the pilot told her and the other passengers that this plane had some malfunctions and for safety reasons they had to make an unsuspected emergency landing in Illinois. A collective murmur occurred in the whole cabin. After a quick look at her phone, Anna saw that it was already well past 9 pm. She hoped that the airport was already preparing another plane to continue her travels to Philadelphia.
Of course there was no new plane. They had to wait until tomorrow to continue their travels to Philadelphia, but as an apology the airline offered hotel rooms to passengers for the night. While she was waiting in line at the information desk, she saw Sebastian walking towards the exit, accompanied by an airport employee. It looked like he had his arrangements settled already. A typical business class privilege.
It took Anna forever to get to the front of the line and a voucher to the hotel she would stay at and to top it off, a vacant cab to bring her to that hotel. At least the check in at the hotel went smoothly and she asked for a wake-up call for 6 am just in case to not miss her flight. A few minutes later she waited in front of the elevators to go up to the 5th floor where her room for the night would be.
When the elevator arrived, she stepped in and pushed the button. Just before the doors could close, she heard someone shouting, “Hold the doors”. She quickly pushed the button for the doors to open again just at the moment someone put his hand in-between the doors.
The next second the doors slid open and Anna looked at the guy from the plane. “Sebastian?”, she asked in disbelief. “Anna”, he seemed happy to see her. “What a coincidence”, Anna smiled and stepped aside as Sebastian entered the elevator. “What floor?”, she asked and her fingers hovered over the buttons. “5th”, Sebastian said and smiled when he saw that this certain button was already lit up. “What are the odds?”, he asked with a devilish grin and Anna felt the need to look down at her feet because she couldn’t handle his eyes on her.
They silently stood next to each other while the elevator moved upwards. Anna felt Sebastian’s stare on her, scanning her body up and down while she pretended to read the information from the hotel that was hung up on the elevator wall.
When the doors opened with a DING, Anna grabbed the handle of her suitcase and walked out. After a quick look at the sign, she knew her room was to the right. With a look over her shoulder she saw that Sebastian was walking a few steps behind her. 504, 505 and…506, there was her room. She put the keycard into the slot and listened for the click that told her that her door was open. “506, good to know”, Sebastian said as he slowly strolled past her. “510”, he said while holding up his keycard and nodded down the corridor. “Just so you know”, he said and slightly bit down on his lip. Anna intuitively licked her lips. “I’m good, thanks”, she shook her head laughing and walked in. Just before she closed the door, she stuck her head out and said, “Goodnight, Sebastian”.
Sebastian, who was walking towards his room, turned around again and smiled. “Goodnight, Anna”, he said with a wink.
When Anna was finished with brushing her teeth, she put her long brown hair up in a messy bun, turned off the light and went to the bed. The only light came from the bedside lamp and the screen of her laptop. She wanted to quickly check her e-mails and maybe watch a few youtube videos before going to sleep since it was already somewhere around midnight and the replaced plane would take off at 8 am tomorrow.
As she scrolled through her mails, she suddenly heard a knock on the door. Anna furrowed her brows at who this could be at this hour. She closed her laptop and got up, walked up to the door and opened it just a little bit to see since she was practically half naked. “Oh, hi Sebastian”, she said surprised and opened the door a bit more. She watched his eyes immediately drop to her low neckline. If he noticed that she wasn’t wearing a bra beneath her shirt?
“I wanted to ask you if you want to go down to the bar for a little nightcap”, he said and scanned her from top to bottom, taking his time at the chest region, “but you seem to be a little ahead of me”, he continued and chuckled lightly while biting down on his lower lip. Anna looked down at her body and blushed. “What? No, I wasn’t…I mean…”, she stuttered and blushed. He laughed even more when he saw how rattled she looked.
“I was about to go to bed and…”, she tried to explain her outfit but got interrupted by him. “Whoa, slow down. Talking about going to bed, you’re really wasting no time. I at least wanted to buy you a drink first, but alright…”, he acted shocked with his hand held out in front of his body, palms out, shrugged his shoulders and jokingly attempted to go into her room. Anna was so surprised and shocked by his allegations that she would have let him pass but he stopped on his own.
“Wow, you’re really cocky”, Anna chuckled, trying to overplay her bafflement. “You kinda earned yourself a drink but I’m not dressed for the bar downstairs”, she said and pointed at her outfit. “I heard the mini-bars are stacked well in this place”, he said and leaned against the doorframe, now very close to Anna. She swallowed hard and looked up into his ocean-blue eyes.
“I don’t think the airline will pay for my mini-bar bill”, she said and her mouth was dry. She could actually use a drink right now. “They should after what they’ve put us through today but don’t worry, it’s my treat”, he offered with a smug smile on his face. Well, there wasn’t much left to do for Anna than to step aside and open the door completely for Sebastian. He walked in and she closed the door behind him.
Anna thought about putting on some pants but it was so hot. And also she liked the idea of sitting in front of him in just her underwear and a shirt to tease him a bit. Normally she would never let a stranger come into her room late at night but there was something about Sebastian that made her shiver in excitement when he looked at her.
“Have a seat”, she said as she walked past him and pointed towards the bed since it was the only surface to sit on besides the table in the corner. The airline didn’t go out of line to get her a big room. He had a devilish grin on his face when he sat down and watched Anna as she walked over to the cupboard beneath the TV where the mini-bar was placed. She bent down and looked at the drinks the little fridge offered her.
“Okay, what do you want? We have Jack Daniels, Corona, Captain Morgan, Vodka…”, she read the labels of the mini-bottles, but Sebastian was distracted by her ass sticking up in the air. “I’ll take the Daniels”, he said with a few seconds delay. She grabbed the Jack Daniels bottle and the Captain Morgan for herself and two glasses from the shelf next to the fridge. “I don’t have ice but it should be alright”, she said as she poured the liquids into the glasses.
“There you go”, she said and handed him his drink. They clinked glasses and then took a sip. Instead of taking a seat next to him, she walked over to the little table and leaned against the edge. She took a big sip of her drink and lightly coughed as it burned down her throat. Sebastian looked a bit confused but didn’t say anything. He felt how tensed up she was and wanted to give her some time.
Anna needed that little space between them to first of all drink up some courage, but second of all think this through. As much as he excited her, this situation was so far from everything she had ever done before. It scared her to be alone with him in her room, but also not. She knew what would happen and she really wanted it, but something held her back. Anna knew she was definitely overthinking this. Also she didn’t know what to do right now. Should she start a conversation? If so, about what? Or should she just jump him?
While all those thoughts ran through her head she gazed in abstraction, her drink in her hand hovering right before her mouth, ready to take another sip. She looked up as she heard the bed squeak and saw Sebastian coming towards her. He took a sip of his drink and slowly walked until he stood right in front and very close to her. Her eyes were fixed on his face, her lips dry. She intuitively licked them and Sebastian’s eyes dropped down to her lips for just a second. With a light smirk, almost not noticeable, he put down his drink first, then took Anna’s drink and placed it next to his on the table.
Anna’s heart raced and she feared that he could hear it. She watched him as his hands went up to her hair to open them up and remove the hair tie, causing her long hair to fall down onto her shoulders and on her back. His hand moved down from her hair over the sides of her face, his thumbs lightly caressing her cheeks down to her jaw line. Anna shivered and closed her eyes for a second to take in his touch. “So beautiful”, he mumbled and she watched his eyes wander over her face.
His hand moved further down over her arms to her hips where her shirt ended. Although she was still staring at his gorgeous face, she felt his hands grip the hem of her shirt and she swallowed hard. Sebastian started to pull up the shirt slowly and watched as more and more skin of her body was revealed. She instinctively put her hands up and he pulled it over her head, then dropping it on the floor. Strands of his hair had fallen to the side and gave him a sexy, dirty look.
Now she stood in front of him in just her panties, he was still completely dressed. His right hand tucked a strand of her soft hair behind her ear and then rested on her neck, his thumb softly caressing her cheek. She opened her mouth slightly in anticipation and Sebastian took it as an invite to pull her close to his face. Anna felt his breath on her skin, smelt his cologne and shivered in excitement. She closed her eyes and felt his lips softly brushing against hers. He tried to compose himself, but the taste of her lips made him want more. He intensified the kiss and with his hand on her neck pulled her even closer. She opened her mouth just enough so his tongue could slide in and make her moan into his mouth. Anna entangled her fingers into his hair that she wanted to touch and pull since she first saw it.
Sebastian sucked in her lower lip and lightly bit it which made her pull on his hair a bit stronger. He sure seemed to like this little taste of pain as he pressed her against the edge of the table with his pelvis and Anna held onto him with her other hand around his neck. He put his hands under her ass and lifted her up on the table, but gave them a good squeeze before putting her down. She immediately opened her legs and pulled him even closer. Anna let her tongue dance with his while moving her hands down to the hem of his shirt. She finally wanted to see what he looked like beneath his clothes since she was already showing everything. Judging from his strong and defined arms, she was in for a treat. She pulled his shirt up and he helped a bit at the end since he was way taller than her. And he did not disappoint.
Sebastian immediately closed the gap between them to kiss her again while her hands reached for the waistband of his jeans. He ran his fingers through her hair and grabbed a fistful when she had just snapped open the top-button to pull her head back so he had access to her neck. He kissed and licked a trail down to her collarbone. Anna wrapped her legs around his waist to stabilize her as she leaned back onto her arms to give him even more access. He leaned down to continue his journey down her body and cupped her big, soft breasts with his hands. Sebastian pinched her nipples with his fingers then sucked on them. “Oh god, Sebastian!”, Anna burst out and gripped the edge of the table.
Sebastian stood up straight again to pull down his pants together with his underwear and stepped out of his shoes when he put his clothes off completely. Anna heard the package of a condom rip and her head shot up.
“You came prepared?”, she asked with a raised eyebrow. “I came hopeful”, he countered with a smirk as he put it on. She knew that it was about to happen and she couldn’t wait to feel him inside her. He bent down and licked the skin of her neck up to her ear. “And in a few minutes, you will come…begging”, he whispered into her ear and with those words he pulled her drenched panties to the side and slowly thrusted into her. Anna gasped and dropped her head back as he completely filled her out. He gave her a second to adjust before he almost completely pulled back out again. Before Anna could grunt in frustration, he pushed back in, a bit harder and faster this time and held her by her hips as he continued to thrust in and out.
Anna lay back down onto the table and gripped the edge of the table to hold on as he moved even faster, pushing deep down into her throbbing pussy. “Oh my god!”, she gasped out. One of his hands moved up to her breast and squeezed it with a tight grip. She felt the warm, familiar feeling in her stomach building up very quickly.
She wrapped her legs around his waist again and with her heels she pressed onto his butt and him even deeper inside her. With his next thrust, he made her walls clench around his hard, throbbing cock and her back arched up as her toes curled. Her orgasm washed over her and her eyes rolled back into her head. Anna didn’t even notice how his movements changed to erratic, uncontrolled thrusts and with a deep grunt and his fingernails ducked into the skin of her hips, he came as well.
Both of them were breathing heavily and it took Anna a few moments to being able to open her eyes. Sebastian’s upper body was bent forward and he supported himself on the table with his hands on either side of her naked, sweaty body.
“Sorry for that quick round. Normally I take my time with a beautiful woman like you, but you are too hot to contain myself”, he said, still out of breath and his face blushed. It was hard to see with the dimmed light from the bedside lamp but Anna felt the same. “No problem, I needed that too, thank you”, she said with a tired voice and lightly padded his arm next to her.
“Oh, we’re not done”, he said with a smirk and stood back up again. He took off the condom, tied it off and threw it in the trash can under the table. “We’re not?”, Anna asked surprised and lifted her head. He took a sip from his drink that was still on the table. Sebastian then slid his arms under her back and lifted her off the table. He carried her over to the bed and laid her right above the edge. He quickly grabbed her laptop and put it on the ground, then kneeled in front of her.
“This was just round one…to release some tension”, he said and hooked his thumbs into the waistband of her panties. “Round two is where the fun starts”, he said while slowly pulling down her panties over her legs and threw it somewhere next to her shirt. “And how many rounds are there?”, she asked breathlessly with a shaky voice because she was still coming down from her orgasm and his words aroused her again.
He kissed his way from her stomach up over her breast to her neck and over her chin to her soft pink lips. “Until you beg me to stop”, he mumbled at her lips and slid his tongue across them before he pressed his lips onto hers. Startled by his words, it took her a second to respond to his kiss. She bit his lower lip and sucked it into her mouth which made him moan. Anna realized how much she liked it to hear him moan because of her. And how much she liked the way his hair felt between her fingers as she ran them through to keep him close to her.
Sebastian removed Anna’s hand from his hair and kissed, licked and bit his way down to her thighs. His 3-day-scruff scratched the soft skin of her inner thighs and made her tremble. He moved in big circles around her center. “Tell me what you want me to do”, he suddenly said and Anna swallowed hard to be able to speak. “I…I want you to…ahhh”, she got interrupted by Sebastian blowing on her pussy that was still so wet from her orgasm before. “Oh you fucker”, she mumbled and closed her eyes for a moment. She bucked her hips towards him, hoping he would get the hint. Instead he pressed her into the mattress with his strong hands on her hips. “You need to tell me”, his voice sounded like he was holding back a chuckle.
Anna sighed and licked her lips. “I want you to lick and fuck me with your tongue”, she finally said and not a second later she felt how Sebastian licked her lower lips from bottom to top, cleaning up her pussy from her juices. “Oh fucking god!”, she screamed out and arched her back. He let his tongue run between her folds and circled her clit. Anna got a good grip in the sheets and pulled herself a bit down towards Sebastian and his amazing mouth.
He pushed her legs further apart and opened her up even more. He started to suck on her clit which made her eyes roll back into her head and she bit down on her lower lip so hard, it actually hurt. Before she could even start to handle this situation, Sebastian added two fingers that started to move in and out of her soaking pussy, curled just the right way to hit her spot so hard that the warm feeling didn’t even have time to build up. Her orgasm just rushed over her so fast and hard that her scream got stuck in her throat and all she could get out was like a compressed, guttural sound from deep down her throat. Her legs were shaking so hard that Sebastian had to keep them from slipping over the edge of the bed.
Anna breathed so hard that she thought she would hyperventilate. Her vision was blurry and she almost didn’t see Sebastian as he crawled up on the bed to her face to place little kisses all over it, his lips still wet from her orgasm. “That was…”, she breathed out, but wasn’t able to speak. “I know”, he just said between his kisses. “It really was…”, she tried again. “I know”, he said again, very confident about his skills. And he had every right to.
“I never came this hard two times in a row”, she finally got out and put a hand on her stomach to control her breathing. “Well, that’s how I work”, he smirked before giving her a passionate kiss and she could taste herself on his tongue.
“Okay, but now it’s my turn to show you how I work”, she said and moved surprisingly fast as she spun around pinning Sebastian down to the mattress. He looked a bit surprised at how quickly she moved after how she was weeping just a moment before. But that surprised smile quickly turned into faster breathing as she made her way down to his semi hard cock, just waiting for her to take good care of it.
She wrapped her hand around his shaft and licked him from base to top, running little circles at his tip with her tongue. Sebastian let his head drop back and closed his eyes to intensify the feeling of her wet, hot tongue working up and down his cock. It didn’t take him long to become fully hard and grow bigger in her hands.
Anna licked her lips and slowly lowered her head, taking more and more of his cock into her mouth. Sebastian couldn’t help but watch how inch after inch disappeared in her hot, slick mouth, taking almost all of his cock inside her before she gagged on it. She pulled him back out and moved her hand up and down, using her spit and spreading it all across. With her other hand she started working his balls, making him moan and tense up his abs as he bucked up. Anna licked her lips again at the sight of his rock hard, throbbing cock in her hand.
She took him in her mouth again while she still jerked him off with her hand and started to move her head up and down. Just as she wanted to come back up again, she felt his hands in her hair, pushing her down on his cock. As a favor for making her come so hard before, she relaxed her jaw even more and let him slide deeper inside her mouth down her throat. She concentrated so hard on not gagging on him again that she started humming instinctively which made him moan loudly and grunt at the same time as he shot his hot cum down her throat, leaving her no choice but to swallow.
Anna moved her head back up and had to cough because of the hot liquid going down her throat. “Oh my fucking god”, he said with big eyes and breathed heavily, his muscular chest heaving fast. Anna wasn’t able to talk yet. “Sorry about that, I couldn’t handle myself right there”, he apologized and sounded sincere. Anna waved it off. “Don’t worry, I’m good”, she said and cleared her throat. “You’re more than good”, he said and he pulled her up to him to kiss her. “Thank god, I feared I would be rusty. I haven’t done that in a while”, she said, honestly relieved. “Oh, you’re far from rusty”, he secured.
“You didn’t beg me to stop yet, so…”, he said after a few moments of silence where they just lay next to each other and tried to breath normally. “Are you serious?”, she asked a bit shocked. “Well, I promised you something and I’m known to keep my word”, he said and turned his head to face her.
While she still looked at him in disbelief, he moved over and the next moment he was above her. He looked down on her beautiful flushed face, her lips red and swollen from all the kissing and biting. Her long brown hair were fanned out around her head. “So beautiful”, he whispered, almost more to himself. “You’re not too bad yourself”, she smiled and pushed aside strands of his hair from his sticky forehead.
Sebastian lowered his head and hovered with his mouth over hears for just a second before he softly pressed them on her lips. Slowly at first, he soon started to deepen the kiss, letting his tongue glide along her lower lip before he let it slide inside her mouth. Anna ran her fingers through his hair, lightly scratching his scalp which gave him goose-bumps all over his body. While he supported himself on his left arm next to her head, his right hand moved down to her breasts, kneading them with a tight grip. His lips soon followed his hand, licking and sucking her nipples. This tongue worked its way down over her stomach and when Anna thought he would lick her again, he got up from the bed. With an irritated expression on her face, she looked up to see where he was going.
Sebastian picked up his jeans from the floor and pulled out another condom from his pocket. “I’m not saying anything right now”, Anna said sarcastically. She got up and crawled to the edge of the bed where she waited for him on her knees. She reached out to take the condom out of his hands and rip the package open with her teeth. Sebastian watched her with a devilish smirk on his lips and stood in front of her, his pelvis slightly bend forward. Anna placed the condom on his tip and while she rolled it down, she maintained the eye contact with him. He licked his lips and she did as well.
When he wanted to crawl over her, pinning her down to the mattress, she pushed him to the side so he landed on his back. Anna straddled his waist and bent forward to kiss him, let her tongue play with his for just a moment. She then sat back up, reached behind her to grab his cock and hold it still while she slowly slid down on it. Anna watched Sebastian’s eyes grew a bit bigger and a held back moan escaped his mouth. For a second she closed her eyes to fully take in the feeling of him stretching her out. Then she slowly started to move her hips back and forth, up and down. She supported herself on his stomach and the feeling of his flexed abs beneath her fingers wildly turned her on.
As Sebastian reached out to touch her breasts, she took his arms and pinned them above his head. She knew that he was way stronger than her and that his arms stayed where they are now was more his choice than hers.
Because of Anna being bent over that far, her breasts dangled right above Sebastian’s face and he took the opportunity to suck on her nipples again, which made her moan out loud. “Oh god…yes”, she hissed and sucked in her lower lip. He freed his hands and put them on her ass, spreading her open a bit wider so he could start pounding into her pussy. With her hands next to each side of his face, she stopped moving and let him thrust up, burying her face in the crook of his neck, deafening her loud moans.
Sebastian pounded hard and fast into her and slapped her ass. “Fuck!”, she called out and raised her head again. Actually she wanted to be the one in control, but he just took over. In an attempt to get it back, she pushed herself up on his chest and sat back up which caused him to stop moving and she immediately took over again. She moved her hips up and down on his big cock, grabbing his hands for support and leaned back a bit to pull herself back down onto his cock in a different angle.
She maybe wasn’t able to look at his face right now, but the grunts she heard from him sure seemed like he very much liked it. Anna got pulled back up and met with him in a sitting position. She immediately supported herself on his shoulders as she grinded her hips onto him in a fast motion. Sebastian buried his face between her breasts which made her smirk. She really liked it that he seemed to love her boobs that much.
Her smile got wiped away pretty quickly as he bit one of her nipples again. In return, she dug her fingernails into the skin of his shoulders which made him hiss at her skin. He pulled her head back at her hair and licked her neck. “Make me come, Sebastian. Make my legs shake like before”, she moaned and held on to his neck.
Instead of saying something, he flipped her over to her back without even pulling out or breaking the rhythm. Now it was his turn to pin her hands over her head and pull her right leg up on his shoulder. He pounded into her with fast and hard movements of his pelvis which forced her to close her eyes because she couldn’t take it. To say she had a warm feeling in her stomach would have been an understatement. It was a hot, burning desire to find release while having Sebastian between her thighs.
“Open your eyes, I want to watch you as you come”, he demanded and Anna actually had trouble to open them. She fixed her eyes on his and her hands tightly gripped the sheets. “Don’t you…dare…close them…again”, he grunted with every thrust of his hips and stared at her face. She felt his movements becoming uncontrolled and the idea of being able to watch him when he came in return was enough to push her over the edge. Her walls clenched around his cock and with a deep grunt he came as well, leaning his forehead on her shoulder. To not scream out loud, she bit down on his shoulder which caused him to inhale with a loud hissing noise.
He let go of her hands and she immediately wrapped them around him to hold him close to her while she rode out her orgasm with swaying hips and shaking legs. Sebastian rolled off her and both of them were laying next to each other, heavily breathing and not able to talk.
He sat up a bit to take off the condom, binding it off and threw it in the direction of the trash can.
“That’s all the condoms I’ve got”, he said and let himself fall back on the mattress again. “I can’t believe…I’m actually saying it…but …thank god!”, Anna said, equally out of breath. She slightly moved her hips and already felt how sore she was. That would be a fun day at work tomorrow where she probably had to walk around the venue all day long. But right now, she just couldn’t get herself to care.
“So…”, she said after a while. “So…”, he also said, both of them still looking up at the ceiling. “I don’t know how this works, but…do you stay or…”, she slowly made her way into a conversation she didn’t know how to handle. “I would love to stay, believe me. But I need to catch some sleep before the flight tomorrow and I wouldn’t get much sleep with your naked self so close to me”, he said and kissed her. He then got up and walked over to his clothes.
She looked over to catch the time on the radio next to the bed to see it was a few minutes after 2 am. Wow! They’ve fucked for over two hours? How is that even possible?
Anna kind of wanted him to stay but she needed sleep as well and the sight of Sebastian’s naked ass as he bent down to grab his jeans was enough proof that he was right. If he would stay here, they wouldn’t get much sleep. So she just watched him getting dressed and how he picked up the used condom from the floor he had thrown over there a few minutes before. “I knew you missed”, she said with a grin. He just looked at her with a dirty smile as he threw it away.
Sebastian grabbed the glass of Jack Daniels off the table and emptied it in one sip before putting it back down. “Thank you for a very lovely evening”, he said and walked over to the bed where Anna had pulled up the sheet to cover her naked self. “You sure made that layover more than worth it. Hopefully I see you at the airport tomorrow”, he said and bent down to kiss her. She tasted the Jack Daniels on his tongue. “Yes, I’ll be the woman who won’t be able to walk properly”, she said with a devilish grin. “Then I did my job right”, he replied with a wink and a dirty smirk, kissed her again and then walked out of her hotel room.
Anna reached over to the lamp to switch it off and then rolled over to the middle of the bed. Everything smelled like sex and Sebastian. With a smile on her face, she drifted off to her well needed sleep.
a/n: There is a continuation of this storyline called The universe can be a bitch, which is 2 parts. I will be posting them next week. If anyone would like to be tagged, just comment belowe, hit up my ask box or use my chat =)
#sebastian stan#nightcap#sebastian stan smut#sebastian stan fanfiction#smut#fanfiction#sebastian stan x ofc
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A Glowing Future
Submission by @satans-little-helper33
This piece takes place right after Nico’s final chapter at the end of Blood of Olympus.
Main Characters: Will Solace and Nico DiAngelo
Solangelo fluff
Nico’s encounter with Eros had cracked him wide open and left him feeling vulnerable and broken, forced to face his own reality and feelings, exposed in front of Jason; he was forced to share his darkest secret for a god’s amusement. Nico now knew he could trust Jason to keep it to himself, though, and he was beginning to realize that in order to crawl out of his self-constructed prison, his barriers first had to be torn down.
The feelings that had haunted him for so long—the shame, the fear, the denial—caused by the mentality of the 1940s he’d grown up in began to fade away.
He was no longer that scared little boy who had been enraptured by the presence of a powerful demigod, and now that he had finally confessed his past feelings to Percy, Nico felt that he could finally move forward.
Hades’s son made his way back down the hill to where Will was waiting for him, wearing scrubs, jeans, and a crooked smile that made his heart skip a beat.
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“Sorry I didn’t come visit you in the infirmary,” Nico said, wearing the hint of a smile.
“It’s alright, I forgive you,” Will Solace said, his mouth set tight but laughter in his eyes, like he was trying to stay mad at Nico and failing.
“You wanted me to stay there--”
“For at least three days. Doctor’s orders.” Will started to lead Nico back toward the infirmary.
“Really, I’m Fine,” Nico began, but then his knees buckled and Will hoisted him back up.
“Uh huh. Right. Let’s get you to a bed.”
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Even after Coach Hedge’s nature magic/sports drink concoction, which had sustained Nico for a while, the arduous task of shadow-travelling the Athena Parthenos across the world had caught up with him again.
When Nico opened his eyes again, he was in the infirmary half sitting, half lying on a piece of furniture that was somewhere between a bed and a stretcher.
“Welcome back to the world of the living,” a familiar voice intoned, “have some ambrosia.”
Will sat on a chair beside the bed; the room of the infirmary he was in was long and lined with similar bed-stretchers, separated by white curtains that shimmered in different colors when they were moved.
Several other beds were occupied with demigods sporting now-relatively-minor injuries left over from the battle with Gaia and the monster army: a daughter of Hecate 2 beds over was glaring at her leg in a cast as if she was insulted by the inconvenience.
Nico turned back to Will, and noticed that beside the bed there was a small table with a baggie of ambrosia squares on it. Nico reached out to pick one up but encountered a familiar problem: his fingers passed right through the baggie and ambrosia, as if he was becoming one with the shadows permanently. His hand appeared fuzzy around the edges, as if he was dissolving.
“Uhh, maybe if I try again--”
Will frowned, then sighed. “This is what happens when you overextend yourself. Here, let me help you.” He picked up a square and held it out to feed Nico.
Nico leaned back. “What are you doing?”
“No arguing. Open up.” Solace said, his tone making it clear that he wasn’t taking no for an answer.
Will took none of Nico’s shit. That was one of the things Nico found most endearing and annoying about him; no matter how hard the son of Hades tried to push him away, Will simply refused to let him.
Nico took the ambrosia, and after a few moments they looked back at his hand, which seemed to be coming back into sharper focus.
“You had me worried there, diAngelo,” Will said, smiling, and briefly gripped his hand to check if it was now solid. Day of the Dead skeletons tapped out a jig in Nico’s chest.
“You were worried...about me?” Nico said, still wrapping his mind around the fact that Will had wanted a death demigod to visit him in the infirmary.
“Get some sleep.” he said, closing the ziplock bag.
“I’m not tired.”
“Well you will be in a second. CLOVIS,” he called out. The calf-like son of Morpheus appeared around the corner and Will told him “we’ve got another stubborn one,” throwing a teasing smile Nico’s way.
Clovis yawned. “I’m all over it,” he said, and--despite Nico’s protests--touched his forehead. The son of Hades drifted off into a deep sleep.
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Nico awoke feeling more rested than he had in weeks.
He quickly sat up, suddenly worried, because the last time he’d felt this rested, he’d been asleep for three days.
Nico stopped a passing Apollo healer.
“How long have I been out??”
The healer scratched his chin, trying to estimate. “About 6 hours?” He walked off.
Will walked into the infirmary, arguing with a Demeter camper; something about herbs and supplies? He turned and spotted Nico.
“Well, good evening, sleepyhead! How was your nap? Feeling better?”
“I think 6 hours is slightly more than a nap.” Nico retorted.
“Well, count yourself lucky that Clovis has learned to control his powers better. A while ago he put a camper out for a week by accident.” Will made his way toward him. “Can you stand?”
“Um, let’s find out.” Nico swung his legs over the bed and got up. Aside from stumbling a little, he was feeling much better. Nico marvelled at the healing powers of sleep.
As if he read his mind, Will said, “Oh yeah, sleep has endless benefits.”
Nico twisted his skull ring. “Hey, I came in here at about noon, which means--”
The conch horn signalling the dinner feast echoed across the valley. Will grinned. “I think that’s our cue.”
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The Half Blood campfire that night still carried with it an aura of elation spurred from disbelief, that they had won the battle against Gaia and made allies with the Romans, and a sort of desperation to feel alive brought about by all of those who had died in the process. Nico felt a pang for Leo, though he had a strange feeling that his death wasn’t as straightforward as it seemed.
Will sat by him at the bonfire, the Apollo cabin on his left and Nico on his right, leaving Nico unsure as to whether Will had sat next to him or his cabin. He chastised himself for hoping that it was the former.
The enchanted flames in the brazier blazed brightly with the energy of the campers, and Nico felt the warmth flare in his heart as he cast a glance at the son of Apollo, the light from the fire reflecting off of his blonde hair.
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Nico lay in his bunk that night after the campfire, staring up at the ceiling of the Hades cabin that was inset with precious stones. He quickly realized that there was no way he was falling asleep any time soon, and he climbed out of bed. The whole room was drenched in liquid shadows, and despite his exhaustion after the journey shadow travelling with the Athena Parthenos, Nico stepped forward and became one with the darkness with ease.
He melted from the shadow of a tree, finding himself by the lakeside at the edge of Camp Half-Blood. A full moon cast a pale glow on the night. Nico walked down to the sand and sat down; the silence was intoxicating, and Nico closed his eyes and listened to the gentle lapping of small waves against the shore. Suddenly he felt something nearby, heard the brush rustle, and wondered whether the cleaning harpies had come to eat him for being out past curfew. Nico drew his Stygian sword, which seemed to pull at the darkness like a magnet, and got ready to defend himself. What actually emerged from the brush was Will, who abruptly spotted Nico’s sword and laughed quietly.
“Expecting a fight?”
Nico quickly sheathed his sword. “What are you doing out here?” He noticed for the first time that Will had something in his hands.
He held up two goblets. “Mind if I join you?”
Will was the only one at camp who was not blatantly wary of him; after several years as an outcast, the effect felt foreign.
Will sat down next to the son of Hades and spoke to one of the goblets--“Pomegranate juice”--and handed it to Nico as the cup filled with garnet liquid.
“Are these--” Nico began.
“Glasses from the dining pavilion? Yeah. I snuck a couple out before dinner ended.” He wore his trademark mischievous smile. “I noticed you asked for pomegranate juice at dinner.” Nico felt his face grow warm as Will turned to his own cup and requested ginger beer. Soon the glass was filled with amber.
“It...reminds me of my mom.” Nico said quietly. “Not Persephone, ironically. When Bianca, my mom, and I...” his voice caught on Bianca’s name “when we lived in New Orleans, I was little, but I remember her giving us pomegranate juice on special occasions. It was a tough thing to find where we lived, so she would only have it on celebrations or...when my dad came to visit. I was just a baby when she was murdered.”
He stared down in silence at his drink.
“It wasn’t your fault, you know. Bianca, your mom, none of it,” Will said gently.
“I know,” Nico muttered, his voice nonetheless doubtful.
Will placed his hand on Nico’s, and he tensed, ready to pull away, but then instead turned his palm up to hold Will’s.
Nico turned his head to look up at Will, his pale blue eyes shining in the moonlight, almost periwinkle, an indiscernible expression on his face.
“You’re amazing, you know that?” Will murmured, his gaze taking Nico in. Will looked into his dark eyes as if he could perceive all of him, good and bad, and was still enraptured by what he saw.
Will reached out hesitantly, as if to touch Nico’s face, but stopped before, gaging his reaction, and when the son of Hades didn’t pull away, he brushed the ink-black hair out of his face.
Involuntarily, Nico’s eyes closed and his heart began to race. His life had, for years, been spent more with the dead than the living. No one had touched him tenderly for what felt like eons, not since Bianca, and only now did he realize how starved for physical affection he had been. Not just starved, he thought to himself, afraid of it…
And in that moment he decided that he was not going to be afraid anymore.
Will’s gaze moved from Nico’s eyes to his lips, and he leaned in carefully as if approaching a wild animal. Nico closed the distance, and as their lips met, his life bloomed before him like a chrysanthemum opening layer by layer. Suddenly Nico could see a future before him that wasn’t ruled by death and solitude.
Unnoticed by either of them, a dead mouse at the edge of the forest was brought back to life and scampered off into the trees.
- Alya
@satans-little-helper33
My writing blog: @from-story-to-screen
#submission#not mine#but I love this#I miss this#I miss Solangelo#when I would read infirmary fics for days on end#will and Nico’s dynamic is just so nice#it’s like my comfort zone#nico di angelo#solangelo#will solace#pjo#hoo#toa#infirmary#three days infirmary fic#solangelo fanfiction#solangelo fanfic#fic
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Allmight: Symbol of peace
Yn POV
^quirk: Agility, Super human agility and senses.
*beep* beep* beep*
I rolled out of bed and stood up stretching as much as possible before dropping to the floor in a sitting position. I spent a while meditating before I got up to make my coffee. I turned the radio and coffee maker on as I began to go about getting ready for my day.
I teach pre-K students and they are the little joys of my life. My entire life revolves around teaching them, they mean everything to me. I've been teaching pre-K for almost 6 years now and it's truly what makes me happy. I packed up everything I needed for class today and scanned myself over. I wore my black leggings with my knitted brown sweater and low tops. I grabbed my bags and headed toward the door. I locked up and made my way to work.
The crisp fall air hit my face as I opened the door to leave out. "Woah—nope." I closed the door and ran back inside to grab my coat. I put it on along with my scarf before actually starting my journey. I began my walk as I listed to the crunchy fall leaves as I stepped on them. The Autumn season always made me happy even as a child. There has always been something about she cool crisp atmosphere that caught my interest.
As I reached the school I walked into class and began to set up for my class. I cleaned the desk and plugged in my water heater. The classroom was already toasty as I began to place the kids mugs on their desk. I took out my laptop and began to play music at a low volume. I checked my watch as I began to make my specialty hot chocolate for my class. I finished just in time as my children began to filter into the classroom.
"Good morning Ms. YN!" I turned my head to the door to see the smiling beautiful faces of my class begin to rush in. A huge smile spread across my face as they lined up one by one in front of me. "Good morning my lovely students!" I hugged the man each one by one before they headed to assigned seats. They sat smiling wide, staring at their cups. We made them as an arts and crafts project and they absolutely love them.
With my entire class in attendance the morning bell rang. I took another sip of my hot chocolate before standing up and addressing my class. "Okay kids, today we are going to have a very special visitor." They began to whisper among themselves. "Okay, okay, quiet down. Would anyone like to take a gue—." I knock on the door cut me short. All headed turned to the closed door as the children were literally sitting on the edge of their seat. I couldn't make them wait any longer, they would just be cruel. "Come in." I said as I eyeballed the expressions on the kids faces. The door creaked opened slowly as a tall figures ducked into the door way.
Almight pov
"Come in." I heard a delicate voice through the door. I slowly pushed the door open and crouched down through the door way stepping into the classroom. Immediately I saw the entire class full of children jump from their seats as little feet scurried toward me. I closed my eyes and braced for impact. When I noticed I wasn't covered in pre schoolers I opened my eyes to see the students all back in their seats perfectly and the teacher now in the back of the classroom. "Now class, how do we greet our guest?" Her soft voice rang through the classroom before the students responded.
"Good morning Almight! Welcome to our classroom!" Their small voice spoke in unison as they were barely able to stay in their seats. I was at a loss for words. I have never seen children so young and so well behaved. "Good morning children! And good morning to you Ms...?" I trailed off as I looked over to the teacher awaiting her name. "Ms. Yn" A smile played upon her lips as she responded. Her smile was bright and welcoming. "Good morning Ms.Yn." I said completing my sentence.
"It smells amazing in here, may I ask what you all are drinking?"
"Ooh! Ooh!" A student raised his hand drawing my attention toward him. "Yes young man?" I asked as I called on him.
"Well Ms. makes us specialty hot chocolate sometimes to keep us nice and toasty."
"It smells delicious."
" Actually Almight ive made you some as well. No one in the class is left out ever. Here you go." She said as she handed me a hand painted mug with my head on it as a cartoon drawing. I felt my face flush pink as I thanked her. I took the tiny mug from her hands as we made brief eye contact. "How about we all take our first morning sip together?" She asked.
"That sounds like a great idea." I held the cup to my lips as the class did the same. I took a sip and felt a sense of comfort. This was the best hot chocolate I've ever had. It was sweet and the perfect temperature but there was something about this hot chocolate that didn't taste like normal hot chocolate. Some more. It taste amazing. My eyes dropped down into the mug trying to figure out what was giving off this amazing flavor.
"T-this hot chocolate...... IS PLUS ULTRA!"
Yn POV
I felt my face heat up as I took another sip of my hot chocolate. I love when people enjoy my
hot chocolate. The class giggled as did I seeing the hot coco mustache on Almight's face. "Almight, you've got a hot coco mustache." He let out a loud hearty laugh before speaking. "Well it just shows how delicious your hot chocolate is." I sat my mug down and handed the symbol of peace a napkin. He wiped his face as I leaned against my desk, addressing my class.
"Today the symbol of peace will be helping us our with class so let's be on our best behavior. Who knows, maybe if we behave he'll come back another time." The class went crazy with excitement at the thought of almight being in their class not once but twice.
We started the day out with some songs and and math before moving into reading. Next it was time for gym. Without me having to ask Almight got the students to line up single file and follow him to the gym. He strutted down the hall heroically as the class copied his walk. It was amazing I just had to take a picture. When we got to the gym the kids did their warm up stretches before they had free play. Almight played with the kids as I planned out the lesson plan for the rest of the week. The children stacked were in a cheerleading pyramid as Almight pretended to be their coach. Something felt off as I looked up over toward the children. I jumped up as I saw all the children about to topple over. I quickly dashed over to the children and began to catch them placing them down one by one in a safe spot. I wiped the sweat off my my forehead as I was now back in my original spot. I looked up to see Almight looking over at my with his mouth slightly gaped open. I gave him a soft smile as I went back to lesson planning.
After gym it was time for lunch. I took the children to the cafeteria and returned back to the classroom to see Almight sitting at my desk with two wrapped boxes. He placed his phone down before speaking.
"Ms. Yn, have lunch with me? It's the least I can do since you made me some of your delicious hot chocolate this morning." I tried to dial back my smile as I blushed. "I'd love to but I'm not sure that's such a good idea." I looked away for a moment trying to avoid his gaze.
"Oh?" He asked as his tone dropped slightly."Well how about you tell me about it. It'll just be two people having a conversation." I hesitated before nodding my head in agreement and walking over. He stood and pulled out my desk chair. "No it's fine, I'll sit here." I sat atop my desk with my legs crossed. Almight began to unwrap one of the boxes as he spoke.
"I'm listening."
"Well what would the kids think? Ya know? I usually get my lunch and go eat with them."
"I'm sure they wouldn't mind you having lunch without them today." He said as he unwrapped the box completely as opened it up. Amazing smells radiated from the bento box as I saw the marvelous food.
"So I saw in the gym earlier. Can you tell me a bit about your quirk?" He asked as he leaned on the desk slightly, giving me his full attention.
"Sure, so my quirks name is agility. I'm basically very agile with increased senses. So what you saw earlier in the gym was just me doing normal people things at an accelerated speed. But it wasn't an easy quirk to improve upon. It took countless hours of gymnastics and speed training and LOTS of combat training—." I felt something press against my leg slightly. As I looked down I saw Almight pushing the unwrapped box off food toward me. He flashed his heroic smile at me.
"You're not going to give up, are you?" He didn't respond, he only continued to smile at me. I hopped up from the desk and walked behind it. I went into my bag that was next to Almight and pulled out the bento box I had packed for the day. I held in front of me before speaking. "I'll eat, but only if you eat what I brought. But this is NOT lunch, this is just two people talking and eating."
"Okay, let's trade." I handed him the bento box in my hands and sat back down. I watched as he opened the bento box and immediately took a bite. The atmosphere around seemed to have shifted as he placed his hand over his heart.
"This is......the best cooking I've ever had." My entire face turned a bright red as I immediately looked everywhere else in the room.
"Please, you're too kind. It's just something I threw together."
"Oh please Ms.Yn, you're being too modest. How do you do it? Family recipes?"
My face went flush even more as I looked down at the floor. "Actually I just put a little love into everything I make."
"Well it's absolutely amazing." I looked back up at him and he was blushing just as hard as I was with the same cheesy smile. We continued to talk as we enjoyed each others food. His food tasted just as amazing as it smelled. I felt like I was in heaven. Before long it was time to start class again and the students began to return.
Almight POV
My phone began to ring as the students filed into the the classroom.
"One moment, I have to take this." I stepped out of the classroom and answered the call, it was Nezu calling.
"Hello?"
"Ah! Almight! So nice to hear from you. Midnight has gathered all the faculty in my office and she told us that there has been someone to peak your interest. You must come back and tell us all about it over tea."
"Well actually sir I—."
"See you soon." I let out a deep sight as he hung up the phone before I had time to respond. Note to self: don't call Midnight—even when no one else answers the phone.
I walked back into the classroom and walked over to Ms.Yn. She looked up at me and I almost wasn't able to tell her soft beautiful face.
"Duty calls." She nodded as she understood what I meant.
"Well can I get a picture of you with my class?"
"Of course."
"Duty calls young heros! How about we all get a photo before I leave."
The class all ran over to the back of the classroom as Ms.Yn pulled out her phone. The children crowded around me as she raised the phone.
"Now what kind of picture would this be if you're not in it?" I placed my arm around her torso and pulled her into my side.
"Okay let me set up the camera." She said as she bolted to her desk and propped up her phone. She put the timer on and ran back over. I pulled her back into my side as I balanced children on my shoulders and one atop my head.
"Everyone say PLUS ULTRA!" She wrapped her hands around me the best she could, I looked down to her blushing and smiling face as she posed for the picture. I couldn't help but think to my self how beautiful this woman is.
"PLUS ULTRA!!!"
*click*
She jumped over the children and over to her desk. I grabbed the bento box she had given me and walked over to her. I looked down at the picture she was smiling so widely at and noticed the pink shade that dusted me face. Hopefully no one else will notice.
"Here you are Ms. Yn" she turned on the heels of her feet to face me. "Keep it, you can return it to me when we have lunch again."
My face was now beet red as I tried to contain my excitement. "I-I'll uhh, I'll come see you after school. Does tomorrow work?"
"Works for me. Now go be a hero."
"Don't worry about a thing, I'll take care of everything. Farewell class!" I said as I began my way out of the classroom.
"GOODBYE ALMIGHT!!"
*BUMP*
I turned my attention back to where I was walking noticing I hit my head on the low door frame. Giggles came from behind me as I nervously chuckled and crouched out of the door. I was so excited I could barely contain myself. I dashed out of the school building and leaped through the air.
"PLUS ULTRA!"
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may I request a fluffy time stamp of 8:00 for boyfriend!daichi please?
You may! I may have gone a bit extra with the word count (〃∀〃)ゞ
[08:00]
About : Daichi x reader
Note : Pure Fluff! I apologize if there’s any mistakes!
Jeez, it's windy!
You shivered at the gushing wind. If you knew it was going to be this cold, you should've worn more layers. You looked down at your two hands, silently praying for the food you brought for the volleyball team would stay warm especially your boyfriend's. After all, you felt bad for teasing him last night.
It was like any other Saturday night where you and Daichi would call each other. Most of the time, your calls would include the two of you studying but last night was one of those days where Daichi would tell you about how exhausting his day went.
He had told you that his parents were out of town for the weekend and wouldn't be back till Monday morning. Being the eldest, he was responsible for his two younger siblings. That being said, he was occupied with house chores for a whole day; cooking, cleaning, waking up his siblings, and making sure they've done their school work.
You wouldn't be lying that you were low-key worried when he mentioned he has to cook.
Make no mistake, Daichi is a great definition of husband material. He’s wise, has strong sense of leadership, cares for his loved ones - he'd make a great husband. But when it comes to cooking...?
He's not bad that it's to a point where he might burn the house down, but he's not that good either.
"Sawamura Daichi! I just told you about the amount of water you should pour YESTERDAY!" Dropping yourself on your bed, you let out a laugh when you heard your boyfriend groan from the other line.
"I know, I know! I think I got distracted by something while you were explaining,"
"It was only the two of us yesterday. What were you distracted by? My pretty face?" You chuckled at your sarcastic question, wiggling your eyebrows as if he was right in front of you. It was silent at the end of his line and you frowned. You sat up from your position, your mind connecting the dots.
"Daichi? You weren't distracted by my 'pretty' face, right?"
"..."
"SAWAMURA DAICHI, YOU SIMP!"
You snorted when your usual calm and collected boyfriend fall apart into a flustered, stammering boy last night. He was too precious.
Once you calmed down, you two continued your conversation. Daichi told you that the volleyball club was going to have practice at 6:50 a.m.
He sounded tired, but you could tell by how the way he talks about it that he looks forward to the training tomorrow. You know better than anyone how much he loves the team. You felt kind of bad for his busy schedule, though. So you’re resolved to give him a helping hand, at least try to cheer him up a bit and you have the perfect idea for that.
As soon as you finished your call with Daichi, you went downstairs to find your mom. You asked her if she could help you cook something for him and your mom was more than happy to help, considering that your family's already fond of your boyfriend.
Your mission started at 5 a.m. You and your mom were already bustling about in the kitchen, executing your plan to make onigiris for Daichi.
Using the ingredients that your mom had won in a lottery a few days ago (She'd won lots of things; meats, fishes, seaweeds, rice, and even sake), you were able to make onigiris with tuna-mayo fillings for the team and grilled salmon filling for the coaches and the managers. Wanting to make something special for your boyfriend, you added grilled meat to his menu.
Both of you were done cooking by the time the clock strikes 7. You and your mom made too much. Your mom suggesting that you should give some to Daichi's siblings.
At around 7:30, you started your journey towards Daichi's house that wasn't far from yours. They were outside of the house, playing volleyball using their brother’s ball. They lit up and greeted when they saw you. Without wasting any time, you told them that you were here to bring them food.
Their eyes immediately lit up as they received the container from your hands. They thanked you, saying that the breakfast Daichi made this morning had too much salt in it. Laughing, you gave them your welcome and bid goodbyes with them.
When you arrived at school, you looked at your watch. The needles pointed at exactly 08:00. You paced towards the volleyball gym with a smile.
Even from afar, you could hear the boys' voice and the sound of squeaking shoes on the wooden floor. One particular voice made your ears perked and your feet took wider steps towards the building.
When you reached the opened door, you took a little peek inside. The boys were split into two teams as both sides battled like it was a real match. You came just in time to see your boyfriend received a powerful serve from Asahi. No matter how many times he'd done it, it always amazes you how he was able to keep his posture. If you were there in his shoes, your arm would probably fall off.
You shake your head once you realized you were getting sidetracked. You knocked on the door and the coaches’ heads’ turn to you. They gave you a smile and gestured you to come in. Kiyoko, who had seen you come in, immediately went to help you with your belongings.
"I heard you guys were having practice so I thought I'd make you guys a little something," You smiled at Kiyoko, opening the bag to show the labeled containers. Kiyoko’s eyes widen and she gave you her beautiful smile.
"Thank you so much (L/n)-san."
Giving the bag of containers to Kiyoko, you took one out that's for Daichi. Takeda informed about the food you brought to Ukai. Ukai nodded and decided to give the boys a break.
“You guys! Let’s take a break!” He yelled. The boys stopped and straighten their backs. The noise of unsteady breaths filled the gym. They all walked to the side, all of the boys greeted you as they walked to the side of the gym to get their water bottles and towels.
"You should all thank (L/n)-san, she made you food," Coach Ukai informed.
Not missing a second, all of those sparkly, overjoyed, teary eyes went to you.
Except for Tsukishima. His eyes werent as sparkly as the others but they were wide.
"Thank you for the food!" They all screamed and bowed to you.
"Ahaha, it's no big deal. Really." You waved your hands at them.
As Kiyoko and Yachi distributed the food, you walk up to Daichi who was drinking alone. He gave you a side glance and finished his drink, pursing his lips as he smiled at you.
"Here ya go, a special one reserved only for my special someone," You beamed, giving butterflies to Daichi’s stomach.
"Thank you. You made them all?" He asked, putting down his water bottle on the ground, eyes not leaving yours as he did. He then took the container from your hands.
"Mom helped out. You should've seen her, she was more excited than I am." Daichi chuckled and ruffled your hair.
You suddenly let out a yawn. Raising an eyebrow, Daichi asked,
"It's still warm. When did you make it?" He opened his container.
His eyes grew wide at the delicious sight before him. There were pieces of juicy grilled meats and two onigiris completed with eyes and lips made out of seaweed. Unbeknownst to you, his stomach let out a quiet growl.
"This morning." You answered, rubbing your eyes a little.
"What time did you wake up?"
"You ask too many questions, Mister. Just eat it will you?" You laughed, pinching his biceps, a habit you just found out amusing when you started dating.
Daichi couldn't control the happiness in his body. He took a step and leaned in, kissing your forehead. He pulled away, seeing your shocked expression and cherry cheeks. He laughed and pinched your cheek with one hand.
"You made food at god knows what hour for me and the whole volleyball club. You walked here, carrying all of it ON YOUR OWN, not to mention you gave me a special one with extra meat and cute onigiris. Who's the simp now?" He raised an eyebrow, the teasing grin he wore made you want to wipe it off from his face.
"Shut up, we're both simps." You giggled, hitting his chest lightly.
The two of you ended your little flirting banter and went to the group that was sitting in a circle on the floor, devouring the delicious onigiris you gave them.
Daichi watched you interact with his team. If people looked closer, they might actually see hearts in his eyes. There’s a genuine smile of admiration appearing on his lips whenever he hears you laugh with the members.
His team loves you, his family loves you.
He loves you.
You turned around, feeling like someone was boring holes to your back. Your eyes instantly locked with his dark brown ones. Usually, he would look away, looking like you didn’t just caught him staring at you.
But this time his eyes lingered.
Knowing the meaning behind his gaze, you returned it by flashing him a smile. Your eyes gave him the same amount of love and affection before returning back to the conversation you had with Sugawara.
It was a quick passing moment, but it was enough to make this man’s heart combust.
#Haikyuu!!#Haikyuu#Haikyuu!! Fluff#Haikyuu Fluff#Haikyuu!! x reader#Haikyuu x reader#Sawamura Daichi#Daichi#Sawamura Daichi fluff#Daichi fluff#Sawamura Daichi x reader#Daichi x reader#Sawamura Daichi scenario#Daichi scenario#Sawamura Daichi imagines#Daichi Imagines
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If I Never Met You: Chapter 7
(??? X Reader) Idol!AU, Manager!Reader
Genre: (PG13) Fluff(?)
WC: 2.7k
Warnings: None
Series Masterlist
Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8
I left my acting lesson, about half an hour after it was scheduled to end. These lessons always went past their scheduled time. I didn’t know if I was just an incompetent student, or if the coach was just really bad at keeping and managing time, and I was still trying to figure out what the point of me taking these lessons was.
It had been about 2 months since I started working here, and I’ve just about fully gotten used to balancing everything. Although I did have to admit my grades were suffering a bit from spending more time with the boys in my free time than working on my schoolwork. But I didn’t care all that much at this point. I was putting all the effort I could into training and working here, hoping that I could do well enough to convince Bang PD-nim I should stay.
I made my way to Sejin oppa’s office, passing by the dance studio on the way, where I could see Hoseok helping Seokjin with their current routine. Hoseok was easily the dance “leader” of the group, and Seokjin tended to struggle more than the others with the choreos. But he still worked really hard to keep up, and the others helped him as much as they could. I admired both his determination, and the whole group’s care to make sure the seven of them stuck together.
Sejin oppa looked up from a paper on his desk when I opened his door. “Lesson’s finally over?”
“Sorry it took so long, oppa.” I slightly bowed my head.
“No worries, I’ve come to expect that with the acting coach. It’s not just you he keeps longer than the scheduled time.”
I was somehow relieved to hear that. “So, did they come up with some ideas?” I asked, pointing to the paper he was reading. We had been waiting for a creative team in the company to come up with ideas for what the group’s name would be. Bang PD-nim already knew he wanted them to have a hip-hop genre style, with more outspoken lyrics so there wasn’t a question about that. But their full image hadn’t been decided upon yet.
“Actually, they did. PD-nim gave me just one name, so I guess this is what he’s going with. I was waiting for you so we can gather the boys and talk about it together.”
I felt excited as I nodded and walked out of the room with him. It may seem small, but this one step would be such an important one for them in their journey.
It didn’t take long to get everyone together, and we gathered in the dance studio. It was the biggest room, and therefore the easiest to fit 9 bodies without being crowded.
“So, I spoke with Bang PD-nim today,” Sejin oppa started, “and it looks like he’s decided on a name for your group.”
The boys’ faces lit up in excitement.
“(Y/n), why don’t you tell them what it is?” Sejin handed the folded piece of paper he brought with him to me.
“Oh, okay!” I looked at the boys. “I haven’t seen what it is yet either. Why do I feel so nervous?” I chuckled.
“Just tell us, noona!” an impatient Taehyung said from his spot on the floor. He couldn’t stop fidgeting.
“Okay, okay.” I unfolded the paper. “Bangtan Sonyeondan, or BTS for short.” I tilted my head at the curious name on the paper. The English translation for the name is Bulletproof Boys, and Bulletproof Boy Scouts was written down for the English variant. I thought it sounded a bit peculiar, but it was definitely unique and made more sense than the names of some of the other groups I’ve heard of.
“I don’t know what I was expecting, but I feel like that wasn’t it,” Seokjin said.
“It’s different…” Yoongi chimed in.
Sejin pointed to a paragraph written on the paper underneath the name to bring it to my attention.
“Oh, there’s an explanation,” I said. “It looks like it’s supposed to basically mean that you’ll be the bulletproof armor to block the ‘bullets’ of stereotypes, criticisms, and expectations that are aimed at adolescents.” I thought about the meaning for a minute. “I can see that, especially considering how Bang PD-nim is hoping for your songs to be more outspoken. Like not blindly following the path society sets out for you. It makes sense.”
The boys were all in thought about their new name.
“I get it,” Namjoon said hesitantly. “Not sure if I’m super keen on it though. Are there any other names they’ve suggested?”
Sejin oppa shook his head. “Nope, it seems like Bang PD-nim is pretty set on this one.”
“I guess we’re stuck with it then,” Seokjin shrugged.
The boys in general still seemed to be contemplating on if they really liked the name or not. Not that it mattered very much because if this is the name their boss wants for them, it’s the name they are stuck with.
“On another note,” Sejin continued, “we did also hear back regarding stage names. The ones some of you requested if you could use, and some suggestions too.”
“Oh yeah!” I remembered I had the paper with the list of names and rummaged through my bag to find it. “Here it is.” I walked toward the boys and sat with them on the floor, Sejin following close behind but remaining standing.
“First, Namjoon. You said you liked the sound of Rap Monster.” I had my questions about the name personally, but I kept those thoughts to myself. “You’ve gotten the green light for it.”
“Yes!” the mentioned boy cheered.
“Yoongi, you said you were hoping to go by Gloss like you had been back in Daegu,” I continued. “I’m sorry, but it seems like they don’t think it will suit you and the group too well.” I noticed a disappointed frown on his face, and I felt bad for him. I did try my best to help him out, but there wasn’t that much me or Sejin could do in these matters since this was a realm we weren’t in charge of. “They have a few suggestions for you, though. It seems that PD-nim highlighted this one as his favorite,” I showed him the list of names and pointed to the one I mentioned.
“Suga…” Yoongi contemplated the name. “I definitely don’t like the others. But Suga seems to have a nice ring to it. It reminds me of basketball.”
“How so?” I inquired.
“The position I played was called shooting guard,” Yoongi elaborated. So it’s like the first syllables of the two words combined together. Suga. It’s not bad. I think I can go with that.”
I circled the name to make a note of his choice. “Alright then. Jimin, they got a few suggestions for you.” I tried to not cringe as I looked at the names I showed him.
“Baby G? Kid?” He sighed. “I’m not a little kid, though…” He looked at me with puppy dog eyes, and I couldn’t help but feel like the expression was contradictory to what he just said. “Noona, I really don’t like these names. Can’t I just use my real name?”
“We’ll talk to them,” I replied. “I think your real name definitely sounds better anyway.” I looked at the next on the list. “Um, Jungkook. They have a suggestion for you too…”
“You don’t look very enthused about it, noona,” the maknae eyed me warily.
I responded by just showing him what was written.
“S-Seagull?” Jungkook said. “Like because I’m from Busan?” He was definitely not impressed. “Nope. No way. I just want to stick with my real name too.”
I emphatically nodded. “I will do whatever I can for you, Kookie.” I turned my attention to Taehyung. “So, Taetae. Bang PD-nim wants you to go with a more unique name. Do you like any of these?” I passed him the paper.
“Six, Lex, V…” he repeated what was written. “I don’t know.” He sat in contemplation for quite a while. “Can I get back to you about it, noona? I don’t think I hate any of them, but don’t know which one I would want to go with either. I want some time to think.”
“Alright.” I took the paper back from him. “As for Hoseok and Seokjin, we didn’t receive any suggestions for you guys. What do you think? Got any ideas?”
“I want to go by Jin,” Seokjin said with a smile.
I reciprocated the smile. “Hm, I wonder where you got that one.”
He chuckled. “I really like it. Can you ask if I can go by that name?”
“Of course I will,” I replied, writing a note on my paper. I looked at Hoseok expectantly. “Did you come up with anything?”
He seemed deep in thought. “I’m not sure, noona. I’ve been trying to think about what I want for a stage name but nothing is really coming to mind.”
“Well,” Sejin oppa spoke up from behind me, “it could be based on something really important to you, or something that reflects your personality.”
I thought for a second. None of the boys were one-dimensional, but a huge part of Hoseok’s personality was how bright he was. He could lighten the mood of the room so easily, almost like sunshine coming through on a cloudy day. “If I were to give my opinion, maybe something to do with the happy, energetic portion of your personality? I think you’re really good at lifting people’s spirits, helping them to feel happier.”
We all sat in contemplation for a minute before Hoseok interrupted. “I can take some more time to think of it. We don’t need to figure this out right now.”
Right when he said that, Seokjin had an idea. “Hope would be a good word to use I think.”
(A/N: At this point, they’re saying “hwimang”, which is “hope” in Korean.)
“Hope?” Hoseok contemplated. “Why?”
“Hope just sounds right. A single word to emphasize the feeling of your mood being lifted,” Seokjin elaborated.
“Hwimang… Hope.” I repeated the word in English. “That could be something.”
“Jung Hoseok, hope,” Yoongi said, using the English variant of the word. “J-Hope?”
Hoseok’s eyes lit up. “J-Hope? I kind of like that, hyung!” The others offered sounds of agreement with the name. “I like it. J-Hope sounds nice! Like I can be someone else’s strength, their hope. The more I think about it, the more I like it.”
“Should I put that down then?” I asked. “I think it sounds really nice, too.”
“Yeah! Let’s go with it,” Hoseok confirmed, smiling. “Thanks, guys. I don’t think I could have come up with that on my own.”
“I think it’s a rather fitting name for the sunshine of the group,” I offered him a smile. “Let’s hope you’re allowed to keep it.” I reviewed my notes from the conversation. “Okay, so Namjoon and Yoongi are decided, we’re waiting on Tae to decide which name he’d like, and we’ll see if Seokjin and Hoseok’s ideas will be approved. And of course, I’ll ask if Jimin and Jungkook can use their real names. To be honest, I didn’t like their suggestions either.”
I looked around at all of the boys, and noticed Taehyung looking really deep in thought, brows furrowed and not seeming to pay attention to anything going on. I looked at him curiously, but he didn’t notice. “Taehyung?”
He didn’t budge.
“Taetae,” I sing-songed. Again, nothing. I looked at Sejin oppa, who just shrugged.
Jimin, who was sitting next to him, snapped his fingers a few times in front of his friend’s face. He still didn’t move. It wasn’t until I shrugged my shoulders and started walking away that he finally made a noise.
“I got it!” He yelled, making me jump.
“Holy crap, Taehyung!” I said. “Was it really necessary to yell that loud?”
He looked at me and smiled apologetically. “Sorry, noona. But I figured it out. I know which one I like.”
“Oh, is that what you were thinking about so hard that you were in another world?” Jungkook asked.
“Was I? I didn’t think anyone was talking,” Tae responded.
I chuckled. “Well, what did you decide on?” I asked him.
“Oh! I like V!” he responded, throwing up a V hand sign to match his words. “I like to think it stands for victory. And, I don’t know. I just like how it sounds.”
I nodded. “Yeah, oddly enough it does seem to fit you well. V it is then.” I pulled out my paper one last time to make note of his choice. “I’ll go submit these to Bang PD-nim, see what he thinks.”
I left the practice room as the boys rang out goodbyes behind me. Sejin oppa had asked me to take charge of this once he received it from PD-nim, so it was my job to get back to him on it. I was pretty nervous though; I hadn’t really talked to him much since my interview where I was hired. Of course I’d seen him at the company sometimes, but just in passing.
Sejin oppa said once we got these details finalized, things would start to pick up for the boys. With their group and stage names taken care of, pre-debut promotions could start and we would have to not only watch over the activities they’ll have, but also start to try getting their names out there to companies ourselves.
I made it to the CEO’s office and knocked on the door. His secretary responded for me to enter and when I explained my business, she went into the next room to let him know I was here. She returned, gesturing for me to enter the room.
I slowly walked through the door, carefully bowing as I entered. “Hello, Bang PD-nim.”
“Hello, (Y/n),” he smiled at me. “It’s been a little while since we talked.”
“Yes, it has been.” I tried to hide the nervousness in my voice.
“No need to just stand there, (Y/n). Take a seat,” he gestured to the chair across from him. “So, you have the boys’ choices for their stage names?”
I nodded, opening up the paper with my notes as I sat down. I explained to him each member’s thoughts on names. He nodded along, but I couldn’t tell if he was satisfied with what I was saying. After I finished my explanations he was silent, only making me feel even more nervous.
“PD-nim?” I said after a moment.
“What are your thoughts?” He looked at me.
“I-I’m sorry?” I blinked. I didn’t expect him to ask me that.
“On Jimin, Jungkook, Seokjin, and Hoseok.”
“Oh. Well, we helped come up with the idea of J-Hope for Hoseok, and he’s really fond of it. Seokjin was really enthusiastic about wanting to go by Jin. And Jungkook and Jimin didn’t think any of the suggestions from the creative team were that great-“
“No, (Y/n). Not what they think. Obviously, I know that’s what they want. What do you think about them?”
My heartbeat quickened. I really hoped that I wasn’t in any kind of trouble for not responding correctly. “U-um… Well, I think J-Hope really matches Hoseok well because of his personality and ability to lighten up people’s moods. Jin sounds simple, but I think a single-syllable name fits him really well. It kind of makes him stand out a bit. And I’m not going to lie, I wasn’t fond of the suggestions for Jimin and Jungkook either. And not all of them need to have stage names, right? I can’t really think of anything that would match them better than their real names, so I think it’d be a good idea to stick with them.”
I lowered my head when I finished, feeling shy and nervous about what he would say. After not hearing a response, I lifted my gaze to see him smiling back at me.
“Okay,” he finally said after what felt like an eternity. “I guess their names are decided then. Rap Monster, Jin, Suga, J-Hope, Jimin, V, and Jungkook.”
I felt a smile find its way onto my face. “Thank you,” I said as I bowed my head.
“Why are you thanking me?” he responded.
I was a bit taken aback by the question. “Well, they just seemed happy with those names so I’m grateful that you agreed to them.”
He smiled. “Oh, and what did they think of the group name?”
I laughed nervously. “I’m sure they’ll get used to it.”
Series Masterlist
Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8
Tags: @calling-dips-on-j-hope
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Memories, what memories.
Fifty years ago on Saturday I experienced my greatest high watching our famous club. It took place in London on a Beautiful Spring day by the banks of the Thames. More of that later as first we must concentrate on the matters in hand with an excellent win at Coventry last Saturday and the visit of play-off achievers, Barnsley, to Deepdale on Saturday for our final home game of the season. Please God let this be the last home game ever played at Deepdale when no fans will be there to cheer the boys on.
Last Saturday we mathematically made ourselves safe from relegation and by the time Monday had come I was trying to work out if we could make the top half of the league or not if results went our way. North End beat and in form Sky Blues by one goal to nil scored by Captain Alan Browne and I think on the day North End deserved the victory. Coventry play a lovely brand of football and it is a credit to Mark Robins what he has done for them given the almost impossible circumstances surrounding the club. North End won with a stonewall penalty midway through the second half nicely put away by Browne. To be fair we should have had another but thats another story. The win left North End on fifty five points with two games to go and the real fear after the Luton defeat at home had dissipated.
On Saturday we face Barnsley at Deepdale in our final home game of the season. It has been so tough watching the boys on a computer and hopefully this will be the last time. The Tykes have done an excellent job in finishing in the top six and they have proved that money isn't everything in the Championship and their achievement should really give North End some inspiration for the next campaign. This is one of those game that you just cant judge who will do what. Will Frankie try a couple of fringe players with next season in mind or will he stick with his tried and trusted system and try to make his case to get the job full time stronger. With Barnsley you wonder will they try and keep going for fourth place to get the second semi final leg at home of will they rest one or two of the key players for the big play off games that lie ahead. I think it will either be a very boring 0-0 draw or might be a real full bloodied encounter. Lets hope its the latter.
And finally this week:- Indulge me as I take a personal trip down Memory Lane and to an event which now seems a lifetime away. The date is Saturday 1st May 1971 and the venue is Craven Cottage, home of Fulham Football Club, in West London. The game is Fulham v Preston North End and with the home side already promoted the Football league have brought the Third Division trophy to the game to present to Fulham after they have duly won the encounter. For Alan Ball`s Preston there is a chance of automatic promotion as North End sit three points clear of their only rivals, Halifax, with just two games to play (2 points for a win in those days). The equation is quite simple for Preston - win the game and we are promoted back to the second tier at the first attempt after being relegated 12 months earlier by Blackpool at Deepdale. I cried that night as a nine year old and thought the world had ended after my beloved North End had dropped into the third division for the first time ever. Just ten years after Sir Tom had retired and we were down with the also rans. The day started around 5.30am as I excitedly scurried about bursting with anticipation and anxiously asking my Dad was it time to set off for the coach. Fishwicks ran two coaches to the game from Leyland and they were to depart at 7am prompt with the long journey to London ahead of us.Finally the clock ticked round to 6.40 and we set off on the 10 minute walk to Fishwicks to catch the coach that would take us to our destination. London seemed like the other side of the world to me and as we passed Charnock Richard I thought that we must be getting close as we had been on the road for ages. My Dad and my Uncle chatted to the others on the bus as I just looked out of the window hoping to spot a blue motorway sign saying London. We stopped at Keele for half an hour and my excitement grew as there were hundreds of other North End fans on the same pilgrimage. Off we go with the next stop being Watford Gap. Even more North End fans who were singing and shouting and even though we were 90 miles from Fulham the atmosphere was starting to build. Finally I saw a sign “London 44”, we were getting nearer as Lunchtime approached and we hit the North Circular Road to take us towards Hammersmith. It must have taken us half an hour in those days to do the mile and a half from Hammersmith to Craven Cottage as the traffic was horrendous.At last we are there and are met with a buzzing around this famous old ground the likes of which I had never heard before. The crowd was officially recorded at 25,774 but it seemed almost like Wembley on Cup Final day with the chaos and noise around the ground. The queues to get in were massive but my Uncle Charlie could get where water couldn`t get (God rest his soul). Suddenly he burst out - “stay there, Stan” (to my Dad), I will be back in a few minutes. Incredibly he was back in no time with three stand tickets for the Stevenage Road stand right in the middle of the Fulham fans. Most of the North End fans were on the open Putney End but there were pockets of Blue and White all over the place. We are in and as the clock ticks round the teams run out separately at 2.55 with North End playing in Red.The Teams are announced, Fulham first then North End …. Kelly Ross McNab Bird Hawkins Spavin Heppolette Ham Lloyd Spark and Clark, with Dave Wilson as sub. John Gow from Swansea is referee and the game kicks off to a thunderous roar as North End are cheered by about 5,000 fans.The game is cagey but quite open and North End are holding their own kicking towards the Hammersmith End in the first half. Twenty two minutes gone and North End get a corner on the right hand side. Clive Clark jogs over and takes an in-swinger which Norrie Lloyd flicks on to Ricky Heppolette who gives North End the lead with a diving header into the Fulham net. The Putney end goes mad and all round the ground the satellite groups of North End fans are dancing with delight. Fulham counter quickly but Bird and Hawkins see them off like two rocks in the middle of the North End defence. Half time comes and goes as the Preston fans start daring to dream, can we do it against the odds at the home of the league leaders. North End are on the back foot in the second half but only really have one scary moment as Fulham throw everything forward. Five minutes to go, four, three, two, one, “TIMES UP” my Dad announces to the world as half the stand give him a look of disgust. How long will Mr Gow add on as North Ends slender lead remains intact? All eyes on the man in black as the whistle goes to his mouth Yeeessss…….ah No, wait, the whistle hasn`t blown and Fulham have the ball. Suddenly, from nowhere, the long shrill blow of the three whistles and we`ve done it - yes we`ve done it, Preston are back. Alan Ball runs on to the pitch and kisses the turf as the Championship Trophy quickly disappears from out of the stand. The Putney End is going berserk and me and my Dad and my Uncle are hugging each other amid a crowd of home supporters looking slightly mystified as to why the plan has not worked out. The North End players hug and congratulate but its not euphoria just a job done by the late great Alan Ball and his boys. We come down the steps to the stand entrance and our coach is the first one we see among about 60 others the length of Stevenage Road.Its 5.50 before we move an inch but nobody seems to care as the singing goes on and on until we finally make our way back up the M1. By the time we reach Coventry it is well past 8pm but the coach is thirsty and its an ale stop for the adults and pop and crisps for the ten or so kids on the bus who are entertained by a jovial coach driver. Finally we get back to Leyland, it`s Midnight but nobody seems to care as the streets echo to the sound of “Preston, Preston” and the road back to the second division is finally complete. Without actually trying to count them I have probably seen over 2,000 North End games since then but I doubt anything will ever surpass that day in West London and if it was ever in doubt before where my footballing loyalties would lie I knew from that day that me and Preston North End would be together for a lifetime.
.
JR`s HIGH FIVES
West Ham to beat Burnley 6/5
A £5 Stake returns £11.00 on bet365
SEASONS STATS
Returns £209.75 Stake £170.00 percentage profit + 23.4%
Predictions 34 won 19 lost 15
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Solangelo Fanfiction
This piece takes place starting at the end of Nico’s scene at the end of Blood of Olympus.
Main Characters: Will Solace and Nico DiAngelo
Nico’s encounter with Eros had cracked him wide open and left him feeling vulnerable and broken, forced to face his own reality and feelings, exposed in front of Jason; he was forced to share his darkest secret for a god’s amusement. Nico now knew he could trust Jason to keep it to himself, though, and he was beginning to realize that in order to crawl out of his self-constructed prison, his barriers first had to be torn down.
The feelings that had haunted him for so long—the shame, the fear, the denial—caused by the mentality of the 1940s he’d grown up in began to fade away.
He was no longer that scared little boy who had been enraptured by the presence of a powerful demigod, and now that he had finally confessed his past feelings to Percy, Nico felt that he could finally move forward.
Hades’s son made his way back down the hill to where Will was waiting for him, wearing scrubs, jeans, and a mischievous/crooked smile that made his heart skip a beat.
“Sorry I didn’t come visit you in the infirmary,” Nico said, wearing the hint of a smile.
“It’s alright, I forgive you,” Will Solace said, his mouth set tight but laughter in his eyes, like he was trying to stay mad at Nico and failing.
“You wanted me to stay there--”
“For at least three days. Doctor’s orders.” Will started to lead Nico back toward the infirmary.
“Really, I’m Fine,” Nico began, but then his knees buckled and Will hoisted him back up.
“Uh huh. Right. Let’s get you to a bed.”
Even after Coach Hedge’s nature magic/sports drink concoction, which had sustained Nico for a while, the arduous task of shadow-travelling the Athena Parthenos across the world had caught up with him again.
When Nico opened his eyes again, he was in the infirmary half sitting, half lying on a piece of furniture that was somewhere between a bed and a stretcher.
“Welcome back to the world of the living,” a familiar voice intoned, “have some ambrosia.”
Will sat on a chair beside the bed; the room of the infirmary he was in was long and lined with similar bed-stretchers, separated by white curtains that shimmered in different colors when they were moved.
Several other beds were occupied with demigods sporting now-relatively-minor injuries left over from the battle with Gaia and the monster army: a daughter of Hecate 2 beds over was glaring at her leg in a cast as if she was insulted by the inconvenience.
Nico turned back to Will, and noticed that beside the bed there was a small table with a baggie of ambrosia squares on it. Nico reached out to pick one up but encountered a familiar problem: his fingers passed right through the baggie and ambrosia, as if he was becoming one with the shadows permanently. His hand appeared fuzzy around the edges, as if he was dissolving.
“Uhh, maybe if I try again--”
Will frowned, then sighed. “This is what happens when you overextend yourself. Here, let me help you.” He picked up a square and held it out to feed Nico.
Nico leaned back. “What are you doing?”
“No arguing. Open up.” Solace said, his tone making it clear that he wasn’t taking no for an answer.
Will took none of Nico’s shit. That was one of the things Nico found most endearing and annoying about him; no matter how hard the son of Hades tried to push him away, Will simply refused to let him.
Nico took the ambrosia, and after a few moments they looked back at his hand, which seemed to be coming back into sharper focus.
“You had me worried there, diAngelo,” Will said, smiling, and briefly gripped his hand to check if it was now solid. Day of the Dead skeletons tapped out a jig in Nico’s chest.
“You were worried...about me?” Nico said, still wrapping his mind around the fact that Will had wanted a death demigod to visit him in the infirmary.
“Get some sleep.” he said, closing the ziplock bag
“I’m not tired.”
“Well you will be in a second. CLOVIS,” he called out. The calf-like son of Morpheus appeared around the corner and Will told him “we’ve got another stubborn one,” throwing a teasing smile Nico’s way.
Clovis yawned. “I’m all over it,” he said, and--despite Nico’s protests--touched his forehead. The son of Hades drifted off into a deep sleep.
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Nico awoke feeling more rested than he had in weeks.
He quickly sat up, suddenly worried, because the last time he’d felt this rested, he’d been asleep for three days.
Nico stopped a passing Apollo healer.
“How long have I been out??”
The healer scratched his chin, trying to estimate. “About 6 hours?” He walked off.
Will walked into the infirmary, arguing with a Demeter camper; something about herbs and supplies? He turned and spotted Nico.
“Well, good evening, sleepyhead! How was your nap? Feeling better?”
“I think 6 hours is slightly more than a nap.” Nico retorted.
“Well, count yourself lucky that Clovis has learned to control his powers better. A while ago he put a camper out for a week by accident.” Will made his way toward him. “Can you stand?”
“Um, let’s find out.” Nico swung his legs over the bed and got up. Aside from stumbling a little, he was feeling much better. Nico marvelled at the healing powers of sleep.
As if he read his mind, Will said, “Oh yeah, sleep has endless benefits.”
Nico twisted his skull ring. “Hey, I came in here at about noon, which means--”
The conch horn signalling the dinner feast echoed across the valley. Will grinned. “I think that’s our cue.”
The Half Blood campfire that night still carried with it an aura of elation spurred from disbelief, that they had won the battle against Gaia and made allies with the Romans, and a sort of desperation to feel alive brought about by all of those who had died in the process. Nico felt a pang for Leo, though he had a strange feeling that his death wasn’t as straightforward as it seemed.
Will sat by him at the bonfire, the Apollo cabin on his left and Nico on his right, leaving Nico unsure as to whether Will had sat next to him or his cabin. He chastised himself for hoping that it was the former.
The enchanted flames in the brazier blazed brightly with the energy of the campers, and Nico felt the warmth flare in his heart as he cast a glance at the son of Apollo, the light from the fire reflecting off of his blonde hair.
Nico lay in his bunk that night after the campfire, staring up at the ceiling of the Hades cabin that was inset with precious stones. He quickly realized that there was no way he was falling asleep any time soon, and he climbed out of bed. The whole room was drenched in liquid shadows, and despite his exhaustion after the journey shadow travelling with the Athena Parthenos, Nico stepped forward and became one with the darkness with ease.
He melted from the shadow of a tree, finding himself by the lakeside at the edge of Camp Half-Blood. A full moon cast a pale glow on the night. Nico walked down to the sand and sat down; the silence was intoxicating, and Nico closed his eyes and listened to the gentle lapping of small waves against the shore. Suddenly he felt something nearby, heard the brush rustle, and wondered whether the cleaning harpies had come to eat him for being out past curfew. Nico drew his Stygian sword, which seemed to pull at the darkness like a magnet, and got ready to defend himself. What actually emerged from the brush was Will, who abruptly spotted Nico’s sword and laughed quietly.
“Expecting a fight?”
Nico quickly sheathed his sword. “What are you doing out here?” He noticed for the first time that Will had something in his hands.
He held up two goblets. “Mind if I join you?”
Will was the only one at camp who was not blatantly wary of him; after several years as an outcast, the effect felt foreign.
Will sat down next to the son of Hades and spoke to one of the goblets--“Pomegranate juice”--and handed it to Nico as the cup filled with garnet liquid.
“Are these--” Nico began.
“Glasses from the dining pavilion? Yeah. I snuck a couple out before dinner ended.” He wore his trademark mischievous smile. “I noticed you asked for pomegranate juice at dinner.” Nico felt his face grow warm as Will turned to his own cup and requested ginger beer. Soon the glass was filled with amber.
“It...reminds me of my mom.” Nico said quietly. “Not Persephone, ironically. When Bianca, my mom, and I...” his voice caught on Bianca’s name “when we lived in New Orleans, I was little, but I remember her giving us pomegranate juice on special occasions. It was a tough thing to find where we lived, so she would only have it on celebrations or...when my dad came to visit. I was just a baby when she was murdered.”
He stared down in silence at his drink.
“It wasn’t your fault, you know. Bianca, your mom, none of it,” Will said gently.
“I know,” Nico muttered, his voice nonetheless doubtful.
Will placed his hand on Nico’s, and he tensed, ready to pull away, but then instead turned his palm up to hold Will’s.
Nico turned his head to look up at Will, his pale blue eyes shining in the moonlight, almost periwinkle, an indiscernible expression on his face.
“You’re amazing, you know that?” Will murmured, his gaze taking Nico in. Will looked into his dark eyes as if he could perceive all of him, good and bad, and was still enraptured by what he saw.
Will reached out hesitantly, as if to touch Nico’s face, but stopped before, gaging his reaction, and when the son of Hades didn’t pull away, he brushed the ink-black hair out of his face.
Involuntarily, Nico’s eyes closed and his heart began to race. His life had, for years, been spent more with the dead than the living. No one had touched him tenderly for what felt like eons, not since Bianca, and only now did he realize how starved for physical affection he had been.
Will’s gaze moved from Nico’s eyes to his lips, and he leaned in carefully as if approaching a wild animal. Nico closed the distance, and as their lips met, his life bloomed before him like a chrysanthemum opening layer by layer. Suddenly Nico could see a future before him that wasn’t ruled by death and solitude. Unnoticed by either of them, a dead mouse at the edge of the forest was brought back to life and scampered off into the trees.
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Holy Land Retrospective - Day 4
Reminder: clicking on the link for each photo (links are all in red text) will take you to the Flickr page where you can see the photo in larger sizes.
Start with DAY 1, or go back to DAY 2, or DAY 3, or read on!
PHOTO 17: On the fourth day, we boarded our coaches in Jerusalem quite early in the morning for a journey of over three hours (as I recall) to Galilee. As we travelled to the very northern end of Israel, this Eastertide antiphon resounded in my mind: “Jesus said, 'Do not be afraid; go and tell my brothers to set out for Galilee: there they will see me, alleluia’." (cf Mt 28:10) Yes, we were setting out to Galilee to see him! Incidentally, for many of the pilgrims on this trip, this would be their first chance to see (and hear from) Jim Caviezel who played Jesus in ‘The Passion of the Christ’. When I asked Jim, jokingly, who the crowds on the two boats around ours were looking for, he said wryly: “Fake Jesus”!
But here in Galilee, where Jesus lived and healed and exorcised and proclaimed the inbreaking of God’s Kingdom, we would all have an experience of the real Jesus, not least because we would have Mass later that day on the site of St Peter’s house in Capernaum.
Driving past Magdala (where we would later have our lunch consisting of grilled St Peter’s fish), we headed straight for the shores of the Sea of Galilee, also known as the Sea (or Lake) of Tiberias, or Kinneret. This is a freshwater lake, some 21 km long and 13 km wide. Although it was calm when we boarded our boats, we could see the rain clouds in the distance, and a cool wind whipped up the flags on the boats. One could understand how the disciples could have been out in the middle of this lake, and a storm could quickly engulf them (cf Mt 8:24-27). We were in three boats, with the priests and Jim and group leaders in the middle. And then, in the middle of the Sea of Galilee, surrounded by a landscape largely untouched and unchanged since the days when Jesus and his apostles fished here, we prayed. Here, led in song by John Michael Talbot, we prayed and called upon the Holy Spirit to fill our lives, and the wind, a Biblical sign of the Spirit’s presence, duly picked up around us. And then we just bobbed on the water in silence, with just the natural sounds of the lap of the water against the sides of the wooden boats, and the cry of birds overhead, and the flapping of the flags in the persistent wind. And in the silence we prayed, and God was heard in the silence.
“Getting into one of the boats, which was Simon's, he asked him to put out a little from the land. And he sat down and taught the people from the boat." – Luke 5:3.
This photo was taken on the boat after that time of prayer, and it features an anchor which, like the peacocks and labarum that I shared yesterday is yet another early Christian symbol. The anchor, firstly, resembles a cross, so it was easily adapted as a secret Christian sign when Christians were being persecuted. It was also engraved in the Roman catacombs and on Christian graves as a sign of our Christian hope in the resurrection and eternal life through the Cross of Christ. For Scripture says:
“We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner shrine behind the curtain, where Jesus has gone as a forerunner on our behalf". (Heb 6:19-20a)
What I noticed, in taking this photo, was the striking colour of the sea, and of course, I thought of the phrase “fishers of men” (cf Mt 4:19). All of us were here on this sea because we had been fished out of the murky waters of sin, and we had been plunged into the regenerating fresh waters of baptism. All of us were here because we had been enlivened with faith in the Cross of Christ, a faith which anchors our lives and gives us hope of eternity. And all around us, presiding over all this, was the ruah Adonai, the holy Breath of God, the Holy Spirit, who blew over us, and stirred the waters. (cf Jn 5:4)
PHOTO 18: After our lunch of grilled fish in Magdala we paused for reflection and quiet time in Tabhga, an area whose name comes from the Arabic version of the Greek name, Heptapegon, meaning, the place of seven springs. When Egeria visits the area in the 4th-century she mentions that here there “are seven springs each flowing strongly.” There are several holy sites in Tabhga and we visited first the Church of the Beatitudes where we listened to the Gospel (Mt 5:1-11), and had time to explore the grounds and take in the view. Afterwards, we went down from the Mount of Beatitudes to the shoreline, to the Church of the Primacy. The rain clouds had moved on by the time we reached the water’s edge; some plunged into the cool waters, but I merely waded in the shallows, feeling the black basalt-like grains underfoot.
It was here that the Risen Lord had met his disciples, as he had promised, and indeed, it was here that he cooked them a breakfast of grilled fish. Inside the little church, therefore, is a rock under the altar named the ‘Mensa Christi’, the table of Christ. It was also here that St Peter was confirmed as chief shepherd of Christ’s Church on earth. Hence, both Pope St Paul VI and Pope St John Paul II visited this site when they came as pilgrims to the Holy Land.
“Jesus said to them, "Children, have you any fish?" They answered him, "No." He said to them, "Cast the net on the right side of the boat, and you will find some." So they cast it, and now they were not able to haul it in, for the quantity of fish. That disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, "It is the Lord!" When Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put on his clothes, for he was stripped for work, and sprang into the sea. But the other disciples came in the boat, dragging the net full of fish, for they were not far from the land, but about a hundred yards off. When they got out on land, they saw a charcoal fire there, with fish lying on it, and bread. Jesus said to them, "Bring some of the fish that you have just caught." So Simon Peter went aboard and hauled the net ashore, full of large fish, a hundred and fifty-three of them; and although there were so many, the net was not torn. Jesus said to them, "Come and have breakfast." Now none of the disciples dared ask him, "Who are you?" They knew it was the Lord. Jesus came and took the bread and gave it to them, and so with the fish. This was now the third time that Jesus was revealed to the disciples after he was raised from the dead. When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?" He said to him, "Yes, Lord; you know that I love you." He said to him, "Feed my lambs."” – John 21:5-15.
We prayed for the Holy Father here, and also for the Pope Emeritus.
PHOTO 19: The Petrine-Papal theme continued as we went finally to Capernaum, just 10 minutes away. Capernaum was effectively Jesus’s base during his Galilean ministry, and his first disciples, St Andrew and St Peter lived here. The very modern church where had Mass is built right on top of the house of St Peter, and the glass floor in the middle of the church allows one to look down into the octagonal 4th-century church that once stood here (and which Egeria visited), and also to see the remains of St Peter’s house, which is a stone’s throw from the (now ruined) synagogue of Capernaum.
Jesus certainly knew this house well, and there are inscriptions dating to the 1st-century that attest to this site being the place where Jesus had lived and ate, preached and healed, and cast out demons. Here, on this holy site, we had the joy of celebrating the Holy Mass! Here, in St Peter’s house in Capernaum, we encountered the Lord as he promised, and through his Holy Eucharist he healed us and gave us strength to serve him.
“And he went down to Capernaum, a city of Galilee. And he was teaching them on the sabbath... And he arose and left the synagogue, and entered Simon's house. Now Simon's mother-in-law was ill with a high fever, and they besought him for her. And he stood over her and rebuked the fever, and it left her; and immediately she rose and served them. Now when the sun was setting, all those who had any that were sick with various diseases brought them to him; and he laid his hands on every one of them and healed them.” – Luke 4:38-40
As the sun was setting, we had to leave Galilee and the drive back to Jerusalem was long; we arrived only shortly before the Holy Sepulchre closed its doors for the night.
Tomorrow: Christmas in Bethlehem!
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Our Secret- Final Chapter
Thomas and Philip finally go out in public. It goes worse than Thomas had feared. Fair warning- this chapter contains angst and the inevitable ending that should come as no surprise to anyone who knows the musical/history.
Link to Chapters 1-6
Philip walked up the stairs that led to Jefferson’s building. He was feeling even more prurient than usual and he had to admit some of that was on account of his own appearance. He was wearing a new jacket that he had custom made for himself. It was silvery blue, almost lilac in a certain light. He thought it was quite fetching and he was eager to show it off. His father had glowered at him when he came downstairs for breakfast, and a small, dark part of Philip loved it even more so because of his Alexander’s disapproval.
He walked into Thomas’s office and the older man almost tripped from trying to stand up too quickly.
“My god Philip! You are a vision! That coat is exquisite!”
The young Hamilton smirked. “You think so? My father hates it.”
Jefferson mirrored his half-smile. “Well, the less we say about Alexander’s taste the better, no?”
Philip chuckled and gently shut the door and locked it before strolling behind Thomas’s desk and pressing a small kiss to his lips. “I wanted to look extra nice for you today.”
“You did?”
“Yeah.” Philip gave him that big, beaming smile that seemed to radiate straight to Thomas’s soul. “You said you had something special planned for me.”
“I do.” Thomas’s voice didn’t have the cheerful cadence it usually did when speaking to Philip. “But first, we must get through a rather busy schedule.”
The younger man gave him a dutiful nod and started getting the papers on Jefferson’s desk in order for their morning meeting.
They had a quick lunch and after two more meetings and a heated debate with Secretary Wolcott, Jefferson declared them done for the day.
“Already?” Philip was suspicious.
“Yes. Would you like to join me for dinner?”
“Dinner? Out?”
“Yes, at the Yorkshire Hotel.”
“That’s… the most extravagant place in the city.”
Thomas nodded. “Yes, well, I want to do something special for you. Lovely ambiance, the fanciest food, finest wine, all that.”
“So… like a date?”
“No.” Thomas gently chided him. “You know as well as I do, we mustn’t ever refer to it as a date.” Philip looked at him skeptically. “I am merely showing you my appreciation for the all the hard work and help you have provided while interning in my office.”
“At a place dripping with elegance and prestige?”
“Mmm-hmm.”
“So… like… a date.”
Thomas grinned and scrunched up his nose. “Yeah, like a date.”
Philip giggled and kissed him quickly. “Well, then what are we waiting for?”
They strolled out of the office and to the small desk in the antechamber where Jefferson’s assistant sat. “Jonathan, Philip and I are going to get something to eat. Finish up and lock the doors. I shall see you on Monday.”
As they exited and made their way into Thomas’s carriage, they sat opposite each other and Thomas did his best to look out the window. Philip was having none of it. He stared at the other man, eyeing him up and down with a smirk.
“Stop.” Thomas whispered without glancing over.
“Stop what?”
The older man turned to him. “Stop looking at me like you’re about to pounce.”
“I wouldn’t dare. I was merely undressing you with my eyes.”
Thomas tried his best to look vexed. “You’re going to make this journey unbearable, aren’t you?”
“We don’t have to go all the way across town, you know. I’m sure we could get up to all sorts of debauchery right here in this coach.”
“No.”
Philip huffed and sat back.
Thomas let out an exasperated sigh. “Good Lord, Philip. Sometimes I forget your age and the insatiable, incorrigible desires that are coursing through your veins.”
Philip rolled his eyes and moved to sit beside the other man. “No one has to know.” He trailed his hand up Thomas’s thigh and fondled him through his breeches.
“Philip!” Thomas reached for his hand just as the carriage stopped. “Oh, thank god.”
“Damn.” The younger man muttered and reluctantly followed him out onto the sidewalk.
They were greeted by a formally-clad host who ushered them to one of the private rooms in the back. “I assume you want your regular table, Mr. Vice President.”
“Indeed, I do. Also, a bottle of your finest French wine.”
“Of course, sir.”
They were seated in a quiet corner and soon relaxed with endless courses of the tastiest delicacies and copious amounts of Burgundy wine.
Philip gazed at him and was pleased. The tension of the last few weeks seemed to disappear from his face. He looked like the Thomas he had first met. Radiant and happy. Talking animatedly and gesturing wildly with his hands.
Thomas swirled his wine in his glass and stared, beguiled and besotted, and noted how pink Philip’s cheeks were getting after his third glass of claret.
“So, what were you like back then?” Philip drawled out, head in one of his hands.
“Back when?”
“When you were my age.” Thomas looked at him in devilish merriment and Philip’s eyes glittered. “Were you as bad as I am?”
Thomas gave him a lascivious grin. “Oh… I was worse.” He chuckled softly. “So much worse.”
A tray of assorted desserts was brought to them and Philip put three of them on his plate. “You said you had something important to tell me.”
Thomas waved him away. “Later.”
“Oh, come on.”
Thomas shook his head. “Not here.”
“Ooo...” Philip looked up at him. “Is it that spicy?”
Thomas gave him a weak smile. “Afraid not.”
The younger man noticed some of the tension creeping back into Thomas’s expression “Is it bad?”
“Philip… let us just enjoy the present, all right?”
He narrowed his eyes. “Sure. Wouldn’t want to ruin our d—essert.” He dipped his finger in his custard and slowly licked it off his finger, staring at Thomas the whole time.
Thomas clenched his jaw and shifted his thighs, trying to ignore his impulses. He sank a small fork into a berry tart and focused on his plate.
When it seemed they could no longer eat another bite or take another sip, Thomas placed his linen napkin on the table. “I guess we should be getting home.”
“Home?”
“My office.” Thomas corrected himself. “Your carriage is waiting there, perhaps we could even walk. It is a lovely evening.” Philip agreed, grateful for the fresh air, and they strolled back. They nodded at a few pedestrians until they arrived at the quiet, empty avenue where Jefferson’s offices were. They seemed to be the only ones there at this hour; there weren’t many residences in this part of town. They got to the stairs and Thomas began to walk the extra block to where Philip’s carriage was waiting. Philip grabbed his hand however and pulled him into the darkened doorway. He kissed him hastily and Thomas pulled away. “Philip, we can’t.”
“Oh, come on, there’s no one here. This side of town is practically deserted by sunset.” Philip leaned in closer again and Thomas took a step back. Philip smiled. “What? Still scared of being seen with me? You just took me out to the most expensive restaurant I’ve ever been to. I’m sure we raised many eyebrows.” He gripped the lapel of Thomas’s coat and brought his lips to his own again.
“Philip… please don’t.”
“Why? You want me to remain your naughty little secret forever?” He laughed louder this time and placed another crushing kiss on the older man’s mouth.
“Philip STOP!” The younger man pulled away instantly and looked up at him. Thomas had never raised his voice to him before. His tone immediately softened, and he looked defeated. “I’m sorry. It’s just not the right time.”
“What’s going on?” Philip tried hard not to let his voice crack. “You haven’t been yourself for weeks. And now you’re treating me to dinner? And yelling at me? Tell me what’s happening.” The older man had been staring down at the cobblestone. “Thomas?” The name quivered out of his throat and when his lover finally looked up, Philip could see there were tears in his eyes. Philip stepped closer and caressed his face with his fingertips. “Whatever it is you can tell me. I promise.”
Thomas’s face was somber. He took one of Philip’s hands in his own and kissed the younger man’s knuckles. Philip looked at him quizzically. Thomas stared back at him, trying to drink in every detail of his perfect face. He let his long fingers comb through his lover’s dark curls, savoring their satiny texture and the warmth of Philip’s cheek against his palm. He kissed his forehead tenderly and Philip nuzzled his neck, kissing Thomas under his chin.
“I suppose there is no good time to talk about this.”
“Talk about what?”
Thomas heaved a big sigh. “Alright then.” He cleared his throat, stalling for another moment. “Philip…” he took a step back so he could look him in the eyes. Those eyes. Like glimmering sea glass. Framed by those long, dark lashes. Damn, did everything about him have to be perfect? What was he going to say again? Oh right. “I have thought long and hard about this. I fear this country cannot wait for me to help. It needs me.”
“I agree.”
“It is time.”
“Time for what?”
“Well… I have… uhh… Philip, I am running for president again.”
“Really? That’s wonderful! You have a great chance of winning this time. I’ll do whatever I can to help. I mean, Father may not be too happy about that but-“
“Philip.” Thomas’s face was devoid of any excitement; it was downright miserable. “You are right. I have a good chance of winning. But only if…”
“If what?”
Thomas took a deep breath. He knew once these words were spoken, it would change everything. “If there is nothing scandalous to keep me from victory.”
Philip felt his stomach lurch. “You mean me.” He brushed Jefferson’s hands away from his face. He wouldn’t want the other man to feel how hot his cheeks were anyway.
“Philip, there is no need for theatrics. We both knew this couldn’t last forever.”
“You were fine with this lasting until I might get in the way of something better.” He clenched his jaw tight.
“Philip, things are happening now that cannot wait until it is more convenient to intercede. There are pressing issues happening in this country that must take precedence over our little dalliance.”
“Little dalliance!?” Jefferson winced at his own choice of words as the younger man shouted. “That’s what you call this!?” Philip couldn’t help raising his voice. “You’ve owned my heart since the night we met!”
Thomas closed his eyes and tried to think of something to say but not before Philip continued. “Father was right about you. You’re a snake. A liar. You’ve been lying this whole time to me. Pretending you had feelings for me. You were just using me! And for what? Revenge? To stoke your own ego? Was it just fun for you to toy with me? Or did you just not even care? So pretentious and preoccupied with only your wants and carnal appetite that you completely disregarded everything I felt for you?”
“Philip, please. None of that is true.”
“You know you and my father think you’re so different from each other but you’re not! You both are so concerned with your reputations and gaining even a modicum more of power that you don’t care how many people you hurt to get it. People who loved you.” Philip’s eyes burned and he pushed hard against the other man’s chest.
Jefferson caught his wrists in his long fingers. “Love? Come now, we never said those words to each other.” He cursed himself for saying that. As if words were of any consequence when their feelings were so apparent.
“Oh, just forget it! It doesn’t matter anyway. Spend all the energy you used to use fucking me into campaigning. Devote all the pretty words you once saved for me to debates and election promises. I hope your ambition keeps you warm.”
“Philip...”
“Oh, and don’t worry about me spilling our sordid little secret. I would rather die than have people know I ever let anyone as vile and disgusting as you put their hands on me.” Philip spun around and ran down the stairs, disappearing into the shadows.
Thomas stood in the door frame and watched him go. “What have I done?” He whispered into the empty evening.
******************************
A few months later
“Mr. President.”
“What is it, Jonathan? This is the 14th time you have interrupted me today. I didn’t send for you and I’m very busy as you can see.” Thomas gestured to the stacks of paper on his desk, all awaiting his perusal or approval or signature or damn, this whole presidential business was a damn never-ending mountain of responsibility.
“Sorry sir. I only thought you might want to send a letter to the Hamiltons.”
“The Hamiltons? Why the devil would I do a thing like that? I haven’t spoken with Alexander in months. And I have little time for personal correspondence.”
“I understand, sir. I only thought considering the circumstances a note expressing your condolences would be appropriate.”
“Condolences?”
“Well on account of their son.”
Thomas dropped his pen and stared at the young man. “Their son?”
“Yes, the eldest, Philip. He used to intern here, right?”
Thomas felt as though the floor had suddenly fallen out from under him. “Indeed, he did. What about him?”
“Sir, he was killed yesterday.”
Jefferson felt his heart shrivel and drop and struggled to speak. “What are you talking about?”
“Philip... he got himself killed in a duel. They say he passed away after 13 hours fighting for his life. Damn shame. Only 19 years old. Whole life ahead of him.”
Thomas barely contained his shock and horror. “Oh. That is… terrible news. I- I will get started on a letter right away. Please. No visitors. I want to be alone for the rest of day. I’ll need some quiet and solitude to craft such a heart wrenching missive.”
“Of course, Mr. President.”
His aide closed the door and Thomas was thankful no one could see his face morph into a mask of sorrow. His hands shook. Words took a long time to emerge. Shoulders tremored with silent sobs.
“Philip...” he whimpered. “My sweet beautiful prince.” He felt sick. He poured himself a large, strong glass of cognac. He sank back in his chair and stared across the courtyard at his former offices where he would gaze adoringly at Philip whispering sonnets in his ear. “My love… why?” He didn’t even realize he had been crying until his cheeks burned with the salty tracks of his tears.
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How and why I quit my job...the long version.
It was more than a decision made on a whim. It was a decision made out of necessity for self preservation. Literally.
My job: I am a physician assistant. I work in a small urgent care center owned by a husband and wife here in Maryland. Providers typically work by themselves during their shift just to give you some context.
First, how did I quit my job? Well let’s rewind. I put in a 3 month notice in April l. In my type of job, it is customary to put in a 2-3 month resignation.
I have been dealing with a cycle of depression and changing jobs to help with the depression only to become depressed again; so I recruited a life coach/career counselor because I just wanted someone to tell me what I’m supposed to be doing with my life. Becoming a PA must have been a mistake. As you might guess, it’s not that easy. They can’t just tell you what career you should be doing. I’d already exhausted my research efforts and I was hoping this guy had the answers...well he didn’t. But possibly he did? Anyway, we’ve had all but one of twelve sessions and on about session 10, he suggested that I take a trip because I was telling him how much I love to travel. Maybe I just needed a trip for a month. After a lot of contemplation, I thought ok let’s do it!
Now if you know nothing about me know this: when I get an idea that I like, I go full force with it. I will not stop until I have it or I achieve it.
Fast forward, I asked for a meeting with my employers to put in my resignation. Since I am not good at lying, I decided being very upfront and honest about my reasons were the best course of action. I told them about my depression and career questioning. I told them how much I love to travel and how I was going to resign and go travel and hopefully have some enlightening experience to move forward in my life. It went surprisingly very well. They were so understanding and supportive about it and said that they would love for me to come back after my trip. So that’s what I planned to do. I would come back likely as part time or prn (as needed) instead of full time and figure out things from there.
Unfortunately, my mental could not even stay intact for one last week.
7/7/2018-I’m in the employee bathroom sitting on the toilet ~not actually going to the bathroom, just sitting there~ and trying to gear myself up to see the next patient. This is what I do sometimes when I start feeling the depression creep in. I go in the bathroom and sit there until I feel ready.
Usually this happens in the morning when I first arrive, but this time it’s about 3 hours into a 9 hour shift which feels strange because I felt fine that morning and was quite excited as I only have a week left before my trip. However, something changes and I never feel “ready”. Actually, I feel quite the opposite. Anxiety. Panic. I start crying, I feel my heart beating fast, and I have chest pain. I feel stuck right there in the bathroom. Three patients are waiting on me now. I literally can’t go out there so I just sit in there for over 20 minutes. And then... I have this idea. I should just leave. Leave and never come back. It’s a thought I’ve had at jobs before but something I could and would never do. But then I did. I did leave.
Why did I quit my job? I seek purpose and fulfillment. I thought that I would get them being a PA but I have not. The depression and now a newly acquired anxiety brought me to this point. And how do I take care of other people when I cannot take care of myself?
Every job has been the same:
1. Start job, feel happy and excited.
2. Realize I don’t like the job, sometimes for no logical reason and resent working there.
3. Depression, mild. Thoughts of not wanting to work there anymore. *this is key because this is the step I should be trying to exit or work through my issues properly*
4. Start telling myself everything is fine. I can hang in there, it’ll pass. *not great at lying to other people, excellent at lying to myself*
5. Depression, major. I used to have the depression that makes you sad and cry all the time. Now, it makes me angry. Angry at everything and nothing at the same time.
6. Vigorously search for new job.
7. Get new job in new specialty.
8. Repeat.
This is my 4th different job as a PA. I am running out of places to go. This trip is happening out of desperation, not because it’s something I’ve been planning for a long time and preparing for it. I needed to take the risk and try something new. I needed to break the cycle.
To note, I actually sent my employers an email detailing my panic attack and told them how I felt unable to finish the week. Another provider, who has been quite the lifesaver these last few months, was able to cover me.
Thanks for reading and I hope this has helped to explain my journey to where I am now. There’s still so much more to share and learn and I hope to document all of it along the way.
#travel#trip#journey#mental health#blogging#blogger#life#black women#blackgirlmagic#explore#learning#growth#self love#self care#risktaker
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Teacher AU (Part 5)
(Part One)
(Part Two)
(Part Three)
(Part Four)
(Now Available on Ao3!)
(Shoutout to lexou-chan for smoothing out my terrible French in this chapter and the last, she’s amazing, go and follow her immediately!)
“Just bring us back some authentic macarons, for the love of God.” Teddy says, his voice pumped with an urgency that suggests this has been on his mind for some time.
“He’s right, the poor imitations they make here don’t compare to the Parisian originals.” Tyler agrees, placing a hand over Teddy’s in sympathy. “You’ll see.”
“Guys,” Dan whines, on the verge of tearing his hair out. “You’re not helping! I leave for Paris tomorrow. I need advice, not souvenir requests!”
“Ooh, now that you mention it, I’d love a béret.” Tyler pipes up, eyes gleaming.
Dan flops down onto the pile of clothes covering his bed, groaning. His suitcase is open, but tragically empty, despite the fact that Dan is headed for France at 8am tomorrow morning.
It’s currently 10:30pm.
“Come on, Dan,” Teddy says, falling back onto the pile beside him. “You’ll be fine! Just stop stressing.”
“I mean, how hot can this guy be?” Tyler asks, barely concealing his genuine curiosity. He holds up one of Dan’s faded t-shirts, wrinkling his nose in distaste.
“It’s not just that he’s hot,” Dan grumbles, sitting upright.
Teddy pats him soothingly on the back.
“He’s also incredibly clever, and funny, and charming.” Dan says, sighing. “He’s a big, beautiful ball of sunshine.”
“What does that make you?” Tyler asks, chucking the t-shirt at his face. “A planet, orbiting around him?”
“More like a speck of space dust.” Dan says, hurling the t-shirt to the floor; he never liked it much anyway.
Tyler sighs at him, hand on one hip. “Dan, get it together. It’s three days. You can manage for three days.”
“Just... help me decide what clothes to take.” Dan replies miserably. “That’s what you’re good for, isn’t it?”
“Ooh, charming!” Tyler exclaims, picking up one of Dan’s trainers from the floor in order to chuck it at him. “Careful or I might pack you nothing but suspenders and mini shorts.”
“An outfit like that might actually help him in this situation,” Teddy laughs, poking Dan in the side repeatedly until he laughs.
It takes over an hour of packing, then repacking, then doing it all over once more, before Dan is finally just about satisfied enough to be able to zip up his case. Despite getting to bed reasonably early (for him) however, he still doesn’t get more than a few fleeting snatches of unconsciousness.
*
Unsurprisingly, Phil is raring to go, bright and chipper for the journey ahead, by the time Dan reaches the school.
Phil’s stood beside the coach, greeting grumpy, overtired students and their parents as they arrive.
Yes, he assures several worried mothers, there’s a first aid kit on the bus.
No, he hasn’t visited the hostel personally, but it got very high ratings on TripAdvisor.
He’s not sure whether he’ll be able to personally update any parents by phone twice a day, but he’ll make sure to remind students to check in with their worried families to let them know they’re still alive.
Dan walks straight over to him, keeping his head down amongst the crowd of irritable teenagers in their casual clothes; he still looks young enough that he probably passes for one of them, after all.
“Dan!” Phil exclaims as soon as he catches sight of him. “You made it!”
He’s wearing a black scarf, which he immediately removes and wraps around Dan’s neck.
Dan blushes, unable to keep from smiling despite his tiredness. “What’s this for?”
“It’s cold in Paris.”
“But what about you?” Dan asks.
Phil shrugs at him, smiling. “Guess I’ll just have to wrap you around me instead.”
Dan rolls his eyes, his heart already hammering away. Christ, he’s been in Phil’s presence for less than a minute, and he’s already practically swooning.
“You can get on if you like,” Phil tells him. “I nabbed us the seats at the front - teacher privileges.”
“Yeah?” Dan asks, mind working sluggishly. “What about my bag?”
Phil glances down at the pack by Dan’s feet. “Oh, I’ll take that.” He lifts it onto his shoulder with an ease that startles Dan somewhat, seeing as he’d used most of his strength for the day just getting it here. “I’ll put it with the others.”
Dan just watches in amazement as Phil walks off with it, slinging it into the luggage compartment underneath the bus with the other students’ bags. He starts helping some other kids with their cases, so Dan leaves him to it for now.
He’s such a weakling that he’d only be a hindrance if he tried to assist, anyway.
The bus is only half full when Dan steps on. Some of the students are chattering quietly, but most are quiet, the dark circles under their eyes betraying how rarely they see this hour of the day.
“Oi, Mr Howell! You’re coming!” A voice calls, unmistakably belonging to Jonah. “Right on, sir. Knew you would.”
Dan gives a small wave towards the direction he heard the voice, but doesn’t manage to summon enough strength to reply. Instead, he heads for the pair of seats at the front of the bus, upon which Phil has already placed his galaxy backpack, and what seems to be some sort of blanket, made up of a variety of materials, stitched together in a zig-zag pattern.
Dan sits down heavily, head lolling back against the headrest. He only means to close his eyes for a moment, but the next thing he knows, he’s waking up to Phil beside him, the bus already chugging along the road.
“Hey, you’re awake,” Phil whispers. Dan blinks at him, embarrassed at having already failed so spectacularly in his teacher-duties. “I brought coffee. Want some?”
Without waiting for an answer, Phil pulls a shiny gold flask out of his backpack, along with two plastic cups. He pours out some coffee, and hands one of the cups to him.
“Thanks,” Dan says, sincerely. He brings the coffee to his nose, inhaling the rich aroma. “You’re so prepared.”
Phil giggles. “Not really. I just can’t function without coffee.”
“How long have we been going?”
Phil shrugs, sipping from his own cup. “About an hour or so?”
“Shit.” Dan says, sitting up a little straighter. Realising what he just said, he slaps a hand over his mouth. “Whoops. I mean, ‘sugar’.”
Phil laughs again, under his breath. “Don’t worry. Most of them are zonked out. You’re safe.”
Dan cranes his neck around the seat to peer down the aisle of the bus. Sure enough, the vast majority of the students have their eyes shut fast, their heads lolling as the coach bounces along.
As he turns back, he notices VP Green, also asleep, in the seats across the aisle from them. He runs a curious gaze over the older man, noting how different he looks in casual-wear, rather than his usual suit.
“So, where are we headed?” Dan asks, drinking some coffee as he faces Phil again.
He crosses his legs instinctively, and notices for the first time that the zig-zag blanket is draped over both his and Phil’s laps. He chokes a little on his sip.
Did Phil actually tuck a blanket around him whilst he was sleeping?
“Uh, Paris?” Phil says, chuckling.
Dan rolls his eyes, deciding to push the blanket thing to the back of his mind, for fear of going mad from over-analysing it.“No, I mean like... which hostel. Which... bit?”
“Which arrondissement, you mean?”
“...Sure.”
“Le quatorzième.”
Dan stares at him blankly, making Phil laugh.
“The fourteenth. A place called Montparnasse. It’s a nice area, on the left bank.” Phil explains; Dan still feels a little lost by this, which must be evident. “The south side of the river. It’s where Jean-Paul Sartre lived.”
“Oh!” Dan says, surprised. “That’s cool. I’ve read his stuff.”
“You have?” Phil asks, eyebrows raised.
Dan pushes him lightly in the shoulder, cheeks warm. “Don’t sound so surprised!”
Phil grins, pushing back. “I’m not, sorry. It’s just that not many people have.”
“Well, you see Phil, I’m not one of the crowd.” Dan says, jokily.
“I know,” Phil replies, no hint of insincerity.
*
“By the way,” Phil says casually, while their coach idles at their fourth toilet stop of the trip. “I put us down to share a room. That’s okay, right?”
Dan, who is bent forwards in the seat, battling with the blanket as he attempts to rety his shoelace, jerks upwards as he hears this, heart rattling the bones of his ribcage with how hard it begins to pound.
“Share?”
“Yeah,” Phil confirms, shrugging one shoulder in vague apology. “The hostel is two to a room. Before you confirmed you were coming, I was psyching myself up for three nights with snorey Green over there.”
Phil inclines his head towards VP Green, who has been sound asleep for the entire journey so far, his snores alternating between earth-quake level and soft, tinny kitten purrs.
Dan hides a snigger behind his hand, though his heart continues to race. This is something that Phil should definitely have mentioned about the trip. It adds a whole new layer to Dan’s already steeping anxiety. Sharing a room with Phil is far different to just being in a hostel with him.
There’ll be no escape. He’ll have nowhere to hide.
Dan will be in Phil’s constant presence for the entire weekend, morning and night. How will he sleep, knowing that Phil is unconscious in the same room?
How will he breathe?
“Yeah,” Dan says, managing a shrug, though he’s not sure it’s very convincing. “That’s cool.”
*
They arrive in Montparnasse at 6:30pm.
“Cor, sir it’s fucking freezing!” Jonah says as he steps off the bus, arms wrapping around himself.
“Jonah, language!” VP Green says sternly.
He still seems a bit dazed, having slept the whole way here. Dan and Phil had passed the rest of the journey playing a marathon game of I Spy.
Dan had complained, because Phil kept thinking of things he couldn’t possibly have seen - an elephant, a superman - and justifying it by saying “I saw it on a poster!”, or “there was a cloud shaped just like him!”.
Inevitably however, Dan could only be annoyed with him for approximately three seconds before being overcome with the adorableness of it all.
They haul the bags out of the coach, and trundle into the hostel Phil has booked for them, imaginatively named ‘L’Hôtel Montparnasse’.
Thankfully, Phil has already given the students the chance to pick out their roommates for the trip, so there are no arguments as the kids find their pairs, collect their keys from Phil, and race through the corridors to find their rooms.
John, Phil, and Dan stand in the lobby, bereft of the teenagers they’re in charge of suddenly. They turn to one another, shoulders sagging.
“I really hope that’s the right way,” John says, gazing at the corridor into which the students all disappeared.
Dan snorts. “On the bright side, if they’ve run off, they’re not our problem anymore.”
Phil chuckles, then holds up the two remaining keys in his hands. “Okay, this is for you, John-o.” He tosses the key into John’s hands, turning to Dan. “And this one’s ours.”
“C-cool.” Dan manages, not trusting himself to look Phil in the eye just yet.
“Right, well, rendez-vous here for about 7:30?” John suggests, already grabbing the handle of his suitcase. “Freshen up, then we can get some dinner in these kids?”
“Sounds good,” Phil says, smiling. His hand is resting lightly on Dan’s back, as though he’s pushing him towards the room already. “I think this place has a dining area. We can check it out.”
“All good with you, Dan?” John asks.
Hmm, Dan thinks, his mind spinning as he considers the upcoming scene. Well John old pal, I’m about to walk willingly into a small bedroom with the guy I can’t stop obsessing over, pick out a bed right next to his, possibly change in front of him, all whilst attempting to play it perfectly cool.
“Très bien.” Dan says, plastering on some semblance of a smile.
*
He’d expected the bedrooms to be small, but this is just cruelty. If he were with anyone else, Dan would be fine with it. He’s stayed in hostels before, obviously (he’s a young, broke twenty-something), and by typical standards, this one is pretty damn nice.
The beds are made, with clean sheets and blankets. There’s a big window, through which the pretty cobbled street outside is visible, bathed in early evening light.
There are bedside tables, with a lamp on each, simple and functional, but a great asset to the room nonetheless. What the room lacks however, is space.
The majority of the floor is taken up with the two single beds, which - despite being pressed against opposing walls - are almost squashed together. Dan can just picture laying in one tonight, flinging his arm out, and being able to touch Phil without difficulty.
He shivers.
All of a sudden, Phil pushes past him, leaping onto the bed on the right. “I call this one!”
Dan smiles weakly, dropping his bag onto the other bed and perching on the end. It’s not exactly the most comfortable mattress he’s ever felt, but that’s hardly surprising.
“God, I’m exhausted.”
Phil sits up, mild concern passing over his features. “Do you wanna stay here and get some sleep? I’m sure me and John can handle the kids through dinner.”
Oh no, Dan thinks, feeling his heart pang. Phil’s being understanding. He’s being sweet and caring. As if he could make himself any more desirable.
He shakes his head, managing to give Phil a grateful smile. “Nah, it’s okay. I’ll just... make sure I have an early night.”
“Shame,” Phil says, winking. “I had all sorts of games in mind that we could play once the kids were asleep.”
Dan’s heart immediately lurches forwards, slamming against his ribs; he feels an actual ache in his chest, and splutters.
“Oh?” He chokes out, avoiding Phil’s eye. “More ‘I Spy’?”
“Not exactly,” Phil chuckles, scooting off the bed. “Guess you’ll have to wait until tomorrow night now.”
Dan just watches him in silence, not sure what possible response he could scrounge up right now. Phil throws his own bag down on the bed, digging inside until he finds a fresh shirt.
Dan swallows, sensing what’s about to happen, and quickly scurries out of the room, muttering something about finding the bathroom, before Phil has a chance to strip off.
*
“Get a fucking grip, Dan.” He tells his blurred reflection in the mirror of the communal bathroom.
There’s one on each floor, equipped with two shower cubicles, three toilet cubicles, and three sinks. A long mirror is hung over the sinks, smeared and flecked with water stains; it’s nothing five star, but it could be much worse.
There’s someone showering in one of the cubicles, singing loudly and off-key. If Dan’s not mistaken, the song they’re attempting to perform is ‘Cry Me A River’ by Justin Timberlake.
An oldie, but a goodie, Dan thinks appreciatively.
He sighs at himself, dithering because he doesn’t want to go back into that room and be forced to see Phil’s naked chest. He thinks he might actually explode if that were to happen. Or, more likely, he’d do something stupid and obvious, like blushing too hard, or stammering, or hey - maybe just fainting on the spot. He’s pretty tired, after all.
The shower cubicle door opens, and a man walks out, whistling the same Timberlake tune as he strolls over to the sinks, a towel around his waist.
“Oh, Dan!” The man says brightly.
Turning in surprise, Dan looks at him properly for the first time. He stands up a little straighter, realising who it is.
“Mr Green!” Dan says, feeling very awkward all of a sudden.
In avoiding staring at Phil’s bare skin, he’s apparently managed to confront himself with a different teacher’s naked torso. He blushes, trying to focus on Mr Green’s face.
“Please, call me John.” He says, beaming. He runs a hand over his stubble, peering at his reflection. “Not in front of the kids perhaps, but I think we’re on a first name basis at this point, don’t you?”
“Um, sure.” Dan says, not really agreeing, but in no mind to argue.
“So, escaping Phil already?”
“Hah, no, no, I just...” Dan flounders for an excuse. “I had to pee.”
John glances at him in the mirror, evidently a little stunned by such an up front admission. “Right. Of course.” He straightens up. “Well, even so. I know Phil’s a little... eccentric. Don’t get me wrong, I think he’s brilliant. And the kids love him, so I consider his personality a blessing. But if you need a break from him, Dan, I understand. And hey, I’m only down the hall!”
Dan laughs politely, feeling very uncomfortable. “Right, yeah. I... should probably go and check if he’s ready.”
“Sure thing, Dan.” John says, heading back to his shower cubicle. “See you in a bit! Cry me a river, oh...”
Dan scurries out of the door.
*
According to Phil, dinner time is a success.
The girls apply full faces of makeup just to traipse down to the crappy dining hall of this hostel and eat lukewarm buffet food. The boys flick mashed potato at each other, and the girls shriek at them.
There are twenty-three of them in total, including teachers, and they take up one long table, Phil at one end, John at the other. Dan seats himself beside Phil, on the corner, alarmed by how the students are behaving.
They talk too loudly, and annoy several other guests into leaving the dining area. They lean back on their chairs, they spill food and drinks, and they make a mess of the table.
Dan almost has several heart attacks attempting to keep them under control, and has to apologise to the hostel workers twice. Thankfully, John is a little stricter, and has a level of authority that makes the students listen to him. One stern glance from VP Green can make even Jonah slump back into his seat, defeated.
Phil, on the other hand, is breezy and calm throughout. He laughs with the students, rolls his eyes at their mischief, and barely says a stern word to any of them. When Dan queries this behaviour, Phil simply says that the most important thing is that the kids are happy, fed, and safe.
“It’s the first night,” Phil says, bumping Dan’s shoulder with his own. “They’re bound to be over-excited. We’re in France! They’ll settle down after some food and sleep.”
Dan wants to believe him, but he doesn’t see it happening. The kids are restless, and full of a youthful energy Dan hasn’t found in himself since he was fourteen.
In all honesty, even thinking about tomorrow, where Dan will have to endure an entire day of this, out and about in the streets of Paris, is making him nauseous enough to push his bland plate of sausage and mash away.
He feels a hand on his shoulder, and turns to look at Phil, his serene face like an island of escape from the madness.
“Hey, trust me.” Phil tells him in a low, soft voice. “It’s gonna be fun, I promise.”
Dan sincerely hopes he’s right.
*
As predicted, sleeping two feet away from Phil does not allow Dan to get much rest. Despite desperately needing sleep, Dan again only manages a few hours, spending the rest of the night replaying the instance just before Phil climbed beneath his covers, where he’d unbuttoned his shirt agonisingly slowly, and shucked off his jeans.
He’d pulled on a baggy tie-dye t-shirt pretty quickly, and Dan only allowed himself a peek at the exposed thigh on show below his boxers, but it was enough. The sight of him, so barely clothed, is going to be seared into Dan’s retinas for the rest of time, he’s sure.
Phil is a deep sleeper, thankfully. He doesn’t so much as breathe loudly, let alone snore. He faced away from Dan, mercifully, or else Dan thinks he might have spent the whole night studying his sleeping face.
It’s a surreal experience, being half-awake, knowing that Phil is right there. It’s comforting too, somehow.
He wakes up to the sound of Phil moving about, feeling bleary from his own exhaustion still. He’s sure he looks awful - dark circles and bed hair - but Phil catches his eye and smiles sweetly, pulling on his mismatched socks.
“Morning, sleepy.”
“Ffrnnhhh,” Dan replies, burying his face in the pillow.
Phil laughs, standing up. He walks over and pats Dan on top of the covers.
“I’m about to go and rouse the kids for breakfast,” Phil says; Dan turns just enough that he can see Phil out of one eye. “Shall I see you down there?”
Dan nods, grunting once in affirmation.
Laughing again, Phil heads for the door, the crippling avalanche of the early morning melting off his shoulders as if he were a furnace.
“Wait,” Dan croaks, sitting up a little. “Will you get me a coffee?”
Phil smirks at him, rolling his eyes. “Yes, Mr Howell.”
*
Dan has three coffees. He bypasses the croissants and pastries that the hostel lay out in an impressive spread, and opts solely for a caffeine breakfast. He pours his third coffee into Phil’s flask and insists on taking with them as they get up to leave.
He is horrified to find that they’ll be walking around Paris, as opposed to getting the Metro or a bus. But Phil insists that Paris is ‘designed’ to be walked around.
“We’re going to be flâneurs for the day, like true Parisians!”
So they set off on foot, the students bundled in thick coats and scarves, swarming down the street behind Phil.
Dan walks at his side, sipping coffee from Phil’s flask, and complaining.
“Dan, cheer up!” Phil tells him, shoving him in the side with a laugh. “We’re in Paris! Look at all the pretty buildings! The boulangeries! The pâtisseries!”
Dan sighs, the excitement in Phil’s voice seeping under his skin.
“Sorry,” he says, swigging more coffee. “I’m just tired. I’ll perk up, I promise.”
“It’s okay,” Phil says, “I know you didn’t get much sleep. I heard you tossing and turning. D’you find it difficult to sleep in new places?”
Oh crap, Dan thinks, head snapping up to look Phil in the eye. He heard?
“Something like that.” Dan answers vaguely, ransacking his brain for a change of subject. “So, where are we headed?”
Phil grins at him, clearly pleased by this question. He spins theatrically on the spot, facing the students as he continues to walk backwards.
“We’re going to the Musée De L’Orangerie!” He shouts, one arm flung out to the side.
The students look at each other, bemused and sceptical. At the back of the crowd, John grins happily, sending Phil a thumbs up.
“The fuck’s that, sir? You takin’ us to a museum of oranges?”
“I see you’re into your classical art, Jonah.” Phil says, laughing. He catches John’s displeased eye. “And try not to swear, yeah? We’re representing the school!”
Jonah rolls his eyes, but smirks. “Yeah, yeah, sir.”
“Mr Howell?” Phil asks unexpectedly, just as Dan pulls him out of the path of a pedestrian. Somehow, Phil is managing to walk backwards without issue, but it’s putting Dan on edge. “Do you know what we might find at L’Orangerie?”
A little embarrassed at being called out, Dan answers quietly, barely looking over his shoulder at the others: “Monet.”
Phil is quiet for a few seconds; Dan can feel him staring. He looks up, meeting Phil’s surprised gaze with a slight smile.
“What?”
The corner of Phil’s mouth twitches. His bright blue eyes flick over Dan’s face, like he’s seeing it in a whole new light.
“Nothing.”
"I think Mr Howell’s pronouncin’ that wrong, sir.”
Phil turns back to the students, confused. “What do you mean, Jonah?”
“I don’t know nothin’ about art, but even I know it’s called the Mona Lisa, sir.”
Dan has to hide his laughter in Phil’s scarf, which he made sure to wrap tightly around his neck before setting off.
*
“You never told me you liked art,” Phil whispers to him, making Dan jump a little.
The caffeine has started to kick in, and now he’s feeling kind of wired. He has no concept of how long he’s been stood here, in front of this one specific section of Monet’s Water Lilies. He’s lost in the deep, swirling hues of blue and purple; the calming colours of this masterpiece are reminding him of something fantastical, but he can’t place what it is.
He turns to face Phil, who has wandered over to stand beside him, and instantly remembers.
“I guess I’m full of surprises,” Dan answers, finding that his breaths are harder to catch hold of, as he stares into the Nymphéas of Phil’s eyes.
Phil smiles, turning back to the painting.
Dan’s been here once before, when he was young, but he’s seen these paintings countless times. There’s a feature, on the Musée De L’Orangerie website, that allows a ‘virtual tour’ of its rooms. Kind of like Google street view, it’s as if you can step through the screen and into the gallery.
Sometimes, when his anxiety threatens to overwhelm him, Dan puts on his Frank Ocean playlist, or maybe some Chopin (he knows, he’s pretentious), and stares at these canvases on his laptop screen until he feels better.
He’s not about to tell Phil this, though.
“Monet’s probably my favourite,” Dan comments, trying to follow exactly which part of the painting Phil’s eyes are focusing on. “There’s something inimitable about his stuff.”
“It’s so... mad,” Phil says, awed, tilting his head to one side. “How did he know?”
“Know what?”
“Well, up close it’s so messy. It’s like he’s just splodged some colour together any old way.” Phil says; Dan smiles, loving that Phil just gets it. “But then you step back...” Phil takes hold of Dan’s arm, walking them both backwards a few steps. “...and it’s-”
“A masterpiece.” Dan finishes for him, nodding. He pauses. “Kind of reminds me of your kitchen.”
Phil laughs, the sound of it bursting out of him, glittery and bright. “What?”
Dan blushes, but stands by his statement. “That’s what you said to me, remember? You said you just throw random bits of furniture and decoration together without really thinking about how it’s all going to fit. But I saw it for the first time and I thought it was beautiful.”
Phil regards him for a moment, apparently at a loss for what to say. After a while, he laughs again, but the sound of it is a little breathier, as though he’s stunned.
“You must be very sleep deprived.” Phil tells him, but he sounds fond. There’s a light dusting of pink across the pale glaciers of his cheekbones. “But thank you.”
A gaggle of students walk up to them then, brimming with questions about the artwork, all of which Phil answers, his patience never failing to astound. Now and then, Phil will look to Dan for an answer that he’s not sure of, which is kind of thrilling.
Dan’s not used to being the knowledgable one in any situation, let alone a situation with Phil.
After a while, the group of girls in question drift from asking Phil anything at all, and direct their questions at Dan instead, clearly sensing he’s the one to ask about this subject.
“Did Monet have a happy life?” One of them asks, which is the only question that stumps him.
For some reason, Dan finds himself dragging his eyes up to Phil’s, behind her, as though his face might hold a clear answer. Phil is looking at him, obviously interested in his answer, so Dan considers it carefully, rifling through what information he has stored away in his absurd brain about his favourite painter’s life.
“He... had a complicated life.” Dan says after a minute or so. “He was an innovator of impressionist art, but like lots of innovators... he was ahead of his time.”
Dan looks at the painting, still reeling at the idea that it’s so close, after all these years of staring at its pixel version. He could reach out and touch it right now if he really wanted. Of course, it would end in him being marched out and possibly banned from his favourite museum, but still, he could.
“I think he got a bit obsessed with it.” Dan continues after a moment of contemplation. “He wanted to be this great, revolutionary artist. He had all these wild ideas about colour, but he was so caught up in his mind that he kind of forgot to just enjoy himself. Like, he had a wife, Camille, that he loved a lot, but he only ever painted one portrait of her. He regretted it a lot after she died. I don’t think he really ever got over her, honestly. All of his paintings from later life are like this,” Dan says, gesturing at the enormous room of canvases, covered in dazzling scenes of colourful ponds, for which Monet is best known. “If you see the painting he did of her on her deathbed... it’s so expressive. So filled with grief. The colours are blurred and crushed together, just like these. There’s so much emotion in them.”
Dan pauses for a second, trying to articulate his caffeine-fuelled thoughts.
“I can’t be sure of my theory obviously.” Dan shrugs, eyes still fixed on the painting. “All I know is that if I were heartbroken, I’d probably pour my sadness into creating something giant and overwhelming. Something packed with beauty and feeling. Something like this. ”
When Dan tears his eyes away from Water Lilies at last, the girls are all looking at him in wonder.
“Mr Howell, that’s so romantic,” Anita, one of the girls, says dreamily.
“Do you paint?” Another girl, Gaeul, asks shyly.
Dan swallows, rubbing the back of his neck. This is suddenly very awkward; how did the conversation turn to him?
“Um, no. Not anymore...”
“Okay, I think Mr Howell’s answered enough questions, gang,” Phil interrupts gently. “Let’s move to the next room, okay?”
The girls nod at him, all giggles and smiles, and wander off, their eyes lingering on Dan for a while.
“Sorry,” Dan blurts as soon as they’re out of earshot. “I got carried away.”
“You shouldn’t be sorry, Dan,” Phil tells him, voice gentle and soft. “I thought I was the weird one ranting about my obsession with French culture, but it’s really nice to hear you talk about what you love.”
Dan shuffles on the spot, not sure what to do with his hands, suddenly. He shoves them in his pockets, for fear they might do something stupid of their own accord, like reach out for the man in front of him.
“Most people say I’m talking bollocks,” Dan says, chuckling, trying to shrug Phil’s comment off with a joke.
“Most people must be pretty dull then, I guess.”
*
At lunchtime, Phil decides that the most appropriate way to feed the herd is to take them all to a typical french boulangerie. They head to the Jardin des Tuileries, the famous park near the museum, and let the kids find their own spots to sit down on benches and the edges of fountains. Then, in small groups of five or six at a time, Dan and Phil escort them to the boulangerie across the street to purchase baguettes or sandwiches.
Phil does all the ordering for them, exchanging casual banter with the baker in perfect French; Dan tries hard not to let on how hot he’s starting to find it, hearing Phil slip into his second language with perfect ease.
In fact, he overhears a couple of the other students whispering about how ‘peng’ it is that he can speak so well.
Once everyone has bought something for their lunch, Phil and Dan head back by themselves to get something.
“Vous revoilà!” The baker jokes upon seeing Phil pushing open the door. “A votre tour d'acheter votre repas maintenant?”
“Oui! Vos baguettes sont vraiment trop bonnes!” Phil replies, grinning.
Dan just smiles awkwardly, clueless as to what is being said.
“Et qui est votre ami?” The baker asks, gesturing to Dan. “Ou... petit ami, peut-étre?”
Dan looks at Phil fearfully, sensing he’s under discussion.
“Ah...” Phil chuckles, glancing at Dan with a smirk. “Dan est ...juste un ami. Il est bien trop joli pour moi.”
“Oh, non! Ne dites pas ça!” The baker cries, shaking his head.
“What’s he saying?” Dan whispers, feeling like he’s missing something here.
“He... just asked who you were.” Phil replies, shrugging. “Don’t worry.”
“Dan,” the baker says suddenly, leaning over the counter towards him. “Qu'est-ce que vous attendez ? Votre ami est merveilleux ! S'il vous plaît-."
“Arrétez!” Phil cries out, laughing a lot for some reason. “Il ne comprend pas, et de toute façon il n'est pas interessé! S'il vous plaît, laissez nous juste acheter notre repas.”
“D’accord, d’accord,” the baker says, hands up in front of him as he leans away. “Qu’est ce-que vous desirez?”
Phil lets out a little sigh, eyes tracking over Dan’s face for a moment. Dan’s about to ask if Phil is staring at him for a reason - perhaps waiting for him to order - but then he looks away.
“Trois cafés, s’il vous plait.”
*
“Should I be worried about what just happened in there?” Dan asks as he and Phil make their way back to the park, sandwiches and coffees in a little bag on Phil’s arm.
Phil smirks to himself; a private joke dancing across his brain. “Maybe you should brush up on your French.”
“I understood a little bit,” Dan says unsurely. “I think.”
Oddly, Phil’s eyes go wide. He pauses in his tracks, staring at Dan. “Really? Like what?”
“Well...” Dan says, struggling. “I think I heard... ‘amis’. That means friend, right?”
Phil smiles, shoulders releasing the tension they’d been holding. “Yep!” He continues walking, glancing at Dan every now and again. “Anything else?”
“Well... I don’t know if this is right but...” Dan’s brow creases, sure he must have misheard. “Did you say ‘jolie’?”
Phil doesn’t reply for a moment, and Dan is sure he must have gotten it wrong.
“Um, yeah, I think I did.” Phil says eventually, looking straight ahead. “I think I was talking about how pretty Paris is... or maybe the museum? I can’t remember really.”
Phil chuckles, and Dan frowns, not having picked up on any of that.
“Wow, I didn’t get that at all.” Dan says, laughing at his own ineptitude. “I guess I’m worse at French than I thought.”
*
It’s around half an hour after his fourth coffee of the day that Dan starts to feel himself crash. Instead of keeping him alert, this final coffee seems to have provided him with enough energy to converse about something trivial and probably nonsensical with Phil for thirty minutes or so, and then wipe him out completely.
His eyelids droop, and he dreads the idea of standing up from this park bench, of walking somewhere else. Whatever mad, wonderful thing Phil has planned next, Dan is certain he does not have the energy for it.
“Are you okay?” Phil asks, turning to Dan during a pause in his conversation with John.
The three of them are sat on a bench, Phil in the middle. John, who has been reading the news on his phone for most of this lunch break, munching appreciatively on the sandwich Phil bought him, looks over at Dan, concerned.
Dan tries to appear alert, but he can feel how sluggish his movements are becoming. “I’m good, yeah-” a yawn interrupts his sentence, somewhat embarrassingly. “Sorry. I’m just quite tired. I didn’t get much sleep last night.”
Or the night before, he thinks privately.
“Phil’s snoring keeping you awake, is it?” John asks with a chuckle.
Phil rolls his eyes, elbowing John in the side. “Hey, I don’t snore thank you very much.”
“He doesn’t,” Dan mumbles, his words jumbling together. He slumps back against the bench, willing his eyelids not to close. “He’s an angelic sleeper.”
Phil coughs a laugh. “O-kay, maybe you should get a nap in, Dan.”
Dan shakes his head. “M’fine.”
“It’s okay,” Phil shrugs. “I was gonna see if we could squeeze a trip to the catacombs in, but if you wanna skip it then I’m sure John and I can handle the kids for a couple of hours.”
“I doubt they’ll have much incentive to run off when we’re in an underground maze of corpses, to be honest.” John adds, draining the last of his coffee. “If you want to head back and get a bit of rest before the evening, Dan, I don’t see why it would be an issue.”
“Yeah, it’s really okay,” Phil assures him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “You’ll feel better if you’re less exhausted, anyway. And you don’t want to be tired for tonight.”
“Wha’s tonight?” Dan asks, unsure.
“Tell you what,” Phil says, grinning. “Go back and get some sleep, and I’ll let you in on the plan.”
Dan smiles weakly, already feeling his eyes closing of their own accord. “Kay. But just a couple of hours.”
Phil nods, happy with this, and the next thing Dan knows, he’s in an Uber, headed back to the hostel, all alone.
“Ici, monsieur?” The cab driver asks, pulling over to the kerb.
Dan peers out of the window, noticing the sign that reads ‘L’Hôtel Montparnasse’, and nodding. “Oui, merci.”
That’s two words he knows, at least.
*
(Part 6!)
(Read the translation of the French in this chapter here!)
#phanfic#my fic#teacher au#phan#phan teacher au#pls reblog!#also ily all!#i would have written more in this part but im meeting my crush tomorrow to go to a christmas market and i dont wanna be tired :(
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Acoustic Adventures: Chaquis Maliq STEM Music Teacher while Touring
I know this is long overdue, but I remembered to finish this entry. Enjoy!
Girls Rock Charleston
I performed at @scyouthaction Girls Rock #Charleston and had a blast with them. We they joined in with the impromptu call and responses to fit the program and they all loved it. I think we jammed longer than most performances are set to go on, and they asked the greatest questions during Q & A.
Then I made it a point to make sure I got to see them perform for their Girls Rock Summer Camp Show! Their camp was only 1 week long and some have never played and instrument! My teeth were showing through the entire show. 😁😍The lyricism that they all put together, whether it was a poem, song, or skit... was outstanding! ❤️❤️ (I tried to post 10 videos at once here and it failed ... this post has been sitting waiting to post since Sunday)
A post shared by Chaquis Maliq (@chaquismaliq) on Jul 3, 2017 at 12:05pm PDT
Being a Teacher for a Week
So, while I was heading to Chicago, ECM calls me to teach for a week at their summer camp. It’s like 1 week and half before the class, if that. However, I did ask for this particular week since it was open back in MARCH (when my pilot was successful) , and so did my coach. No one ever responded until the end of JUNE.
Anyway, I cannot imagine being a teacher for 9 months every single day out of the year. After being told how to teach my classes to incorporate coding, I simply pitched my music class within 24 hours of being requested to teach 8 hours a day for a week. Am I going to tell you exactly what I did? Absolutely not. However, the staff was excited by the pitch and found plenty of ways to sabotage it. I’m sure you thought this was going to be some beautiful introduction to this blog entry, and I do not apologize for it not being. This blog is to take you on my journey and find out what really goes on to a certain extent.
Classes
I had 5 or 6 periods a day with about 13 students in each class. The weird thing is that the classes are a filled with random ages, ranging from around 7 - 14. I must say I was surprised that I handled these classes as if Teaching in the manner was something I did on a regular basis.
Okay let me tell you this one thing about a team looking for name. The kids were about 9 years old. Only one girl in the group and of color, the rest were all boys. So, one of the boys said, “Black Panther” as a team name.
Me:
Student: Why not?
Me: Because it’s inappropriate for this class.
Student: I don’t get it.
Me: you will.
So anyway, the student came back the next day and said:
I know why you said it was inappropriate. I asked my dad and he told me. Then another boy chimes in and said: I googled it. And they talked about it for a few seconds. Both of these students were caucasian boys. I was just relieved to know that the conversation could remain peaceful and respectful. And these were children. We can’t even get adults to have this much compassion or empathy in most cases.
The Video below will show you some of the highlights of how my week went with these loveable children.
youtube
Denver (The Last Dinosaur)
So yeah, my first time in Denver. Ummmm I have a lot of health issues I was born with, and Denver is not somewhere I could live because of the invisible altitude. I was miserable some of the time. But I did enjoy myself lol!
A post shared by Chaquis Maliq (@chaquismaliq) on Sep 2, 2017 at 2:38pm PDT
I like to have fun on tour/vacation. If it means to sacrifice eating out the entire time and to get groceries instead ( I don’t trust nobody food anyway lol), then I will, shall, and have. I’ve been a healthy eater the majority of my life. But now I’m ovo vegetarian. Meaning that eggs are the only animal products I eat. Anyway I said that I would find an electric skillet or this trip and beyond. I sure did. and if I could have fit my personal blender in my carry on, I would have brought that too.
These are vegan items cooked in the skillet and in the hotel.
I stayed at the Hyatt. Don’t think because you’re probably saying: “Oooh she ghetto...” What’s the difference in you microwaving frozen foods in your hotel room? And why is there a refrigerator option for reservations...hmmmmm? And if you’ve ever stayed in a Resort, you’d know that most of them come with dishes and the whole nine.
Anyhow...... sitting there watching Food Network in the room and guess WHAT?! Miss Robbie Montgomery is on there with Sweetie Pies talking about how she used to cook in the hotel rooms while touring with Tina Turner, because during those times the weren’t allowed to eat in most of the restaurants in the city they performed in. Miss Robbie said, “ We had electric skillets...”
I was treated to an Indian Restaurant and a cool vegan restaurant too.
Mercury Lounge
This was a journey. Got lost getting to the venue lol. Well, at least I didn’t have to carry my equipment. That made it a lot easier and I’m grateful. This venue, Mercury Lounge was pretty cool. The entire vibe and the crowd was so genuine. It was a listening environment and they kept asking me to sing more. No this wasn’t the festival type that you’re used to seeing me talk about, which I love, but it’s always nice to do a listening room show. Oh, as you can see, I did not have my cajon. I used my carry on suitcase as the cajon. Gotta keep the traveling expenses down as much as possible.
I also got to meet an artist friend, TheVoice who is from Denver. She came out to the show and we had a nice car ride conversation about life and music.
A post shared by Chaquis Maliq (@chaquismaliq) on Aug 31, 2017 at 8:35pm PDT
The next day was A Taste of Colorado, where I got to see SHEILA E.! I didn’t have front row seats like my artist friend The Voice Robinson though LOL! Spent the day exploring and being treated and got a decent view from the back, so it would be easier to leave to get rest and catch my flight home.
Okay I’ve got to get ready for a show. Don’t forget to check out my Documentary on ROKU TV and Amazon Prime! New music is out too! Thank you for keeping up with Acoustic Adventures and for supporting!
- Chaquis Maliq 05.24.2018 I’ll proof some other time :-)
TOUR DATES : ChaquisMaliq.com/tour
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05 Things Really Fit People Do to Stay in Shape
How long did it take for the whole transformation to happen?
It took me about 10 months to get where I am today.
After having my baby girl, who just turned 2 last month, I pretty much forgot about myself and stopped caring completely about my body. My diet consisted of mainly fried foods and sodas. I didn’t realize how much weight I was putting on until I wasn’t able to fit in my clothes anymore and was forced to buy a pair of jeans 3 sizes bigger! At that time, my husband was already training and trying to eat pretty healthy. When I say “trying” is because I wouldn’t really support him and was still frying all our foods.
Very simple things like seeing him read nutrition labels and counting calories would make me very upset and I always started an argument. I now realize it wasn’t about him reading the nutrition facts…it was about me feeling unhappy with myself, being depressed and lacking the self-control and dedication he had. After a short separation, I decided it was time for me to change my life and do something positive for myself.
On September of 2012 I began training with hubby and changed my eating habits ever since. Our training sessions became our therapy! The healthy lifestyle brought us back together and stronger than ever! My husband became my coach, nutritionist, friend, training partner, motivator and number one fan! Fitness is now my passion… because nothing feels better than being fit and healthy.
2. What was your exercise routine like?
(Everyday 5am)
Monday
Cardio, shoulders and abs
Tuesday
Legs and glutes
Wednesday
Cardio, triceps and chest
Thursday
Cardio, biceps and back
Friday
Legs and glutes
Saturday
Cardio and abs
Sunday
Rest day- meal prep
Workouts changed every 4 to 6 weeks to avoid adaptation.
3. What is your diet like?
A clean diet is the key! Having a strict workout routine is important, but your results depend mainly on how you spend the rest of your day and what you eat. I try to keep it very simple when people ask me what I eat. My diet consists of complex carbohydrates, healthy fats and lots of protein. Eating every 3 hours helps me accelerate my metabolism and also keeps me from cheating since I know a healthy meal is coming. Depending on my goals I tweak my diet a little specifically on the amount of carbs and fats I eat. Each meal contains one carb, one fat and a protein which I mostly take from poultry and fish (fish being one of the best sources of protein and also naturally very low in sodium).
4. Any mistakes you made during the whole process
We ALL make mistakes, especially when we are making big changes and experimenting new things, like in in my case, a NEW LIFESTYLE in which every single little thing you do counts as a “pro or con” towards your goal. At the beginning of my fitness journey, my diet was NOT the best and healthiest… not because I was cheating on it but because I didn’t know the meaning of “clean eating”. I began my journey like almost everyone else: from zero and with no knowledge but with a big dream of becoming that person I always wanted to be. I was full of frustration when I realized after the first month a half went by and the scale never moved. As frustrated as I was, I never gave up on my dream and actually pushed myself harder every day. With the help of my husband we made a research on nutrition (this later became our everyday homework) which helped me find out the reason why my scale never moved and how to fix the problem. It is very important for people to understand that “diet or fat-free” products are not always your best option. After I educated myself on this subject, I of course changed my diet and increased my weight lifting training along with my cardio. It wasn’t until then that I realized one cannot out-exercise a bad diet. Almost a year past, and my main goal was reached! Yes, I still have a long way to go but… now that I’ve learned so much throughout this journey nothing… absolutely nothing seems impossible anymore.
5. Recommendation for people who want to get into shape just like you.
Well, it’s very simple… the question I always asked myself (and still do) and other people that ask me about how to lose weight and be fit is: HOW BAD DO YOU WANT IT? Depending on your answer to that question, you will know whether you are willing to make sacrifices to meet your goal or not. It’s that simple, is your health and your body a priority in your life?
TIP #1: The first step is to set you a long term goal (I set mine for a 1 year). Then, set short term goals in between (mine was to lose at least 1lb per week). The long term goals will help you have the patience that you need throughout the journey, the short term goals will keep you focused day after day.
TIP #2: Have FUN!!! Lots of fun throughout your fitness journey and transformation. Surround yourself with people that will motivate you and support you 100%. Challenge yourself to do new things every day and enjoy your workout time like it was a day at the beach.
TIP #3: Designate yourself a cheat day. This will help you curb those cravings and believe it or not can promote more weight loss.
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The Cellar
#the kind of fic you write in the notes section of your phone#that's 90% for me#Good Game#rylex#ashlex#ashland#fic
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